#this is because i saw a tiktok of some guy discovering he could have just pirate the game

[gunthermunch]

love it when people find out about piracy its like columbus thinking he discovered america

[cherryheairt]

saw a tiktok of a guy begging his gf to keep scratching his back whenever she paused it made me think of benjicot. I keep seeing kieran's tts hes so feminist bf coded

🪶

Dramatic

"Please?"

"No."

"Please." he begged.

Sighing, Rena complied with his plea and began her delicate movements once more. This had become a nightly routine since their wedding, when the couple were finally allowed to share their chambers–though that never stopped them from sneaking around before.

She liked to keep her nails shaped finely, slightly above her fingertips and well-cleaned. Benjicot discovered the benefits of her self-care one day when they both lie in bed, naked. His head was on her bare chest, content to listen to her humming while he was resting on the plush skin. Her nails dragged up and down his back, making him shiver almost violently.

When she paused, he groaned loudly, "don't stop."

Giggling, she continued her motions til he was asleep.

This had been going on for months. When the couple sat in bed after their coupling, knowing their nights were spent all to themselves instead of serving their house and Lord and Lady. Benjicot was weak to her touch.

Though, he hadn't always been so aware.

Her lashes, thick and long, were the result of oiling them before bed. Her hair, volumous and long because of the messages she worked on during her baths. Legs and arms smooth from concentrated shaving. Her unique floral scent, only present thanks to the perfumes from Dorne.

Many things went into a noble ladies' looks, though any unknowing man thought that it just came naturally. 'Just born pretty and smelling good,' was a common misconception in their life. Also, an excuse for the men to be the opposite.

Benji was one of the clueless ones, in awe of Rena's beauty and always complimenting her scent with his head shoved to her neck.

It was only after they married that he found out how long it took to get that way. He would be out of their shared bath for a half-hour, just watching dumbstruck as she razed her limbs. "You have to do this every bath?" He asked, wincing when he thought she might nick her leg.

Rena laughed, shaking her head. "Once a week, maybe."

He sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. He was only covered by his waist cloth, content with sitting in the bathroom until she was done. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." Benjicot said. "I won't mind."

She smiled up at him, grateful that he was he husband and not some ignorant old brute. "I know, I like my routines. It makes me feel pretty." Rena preened under his loving stare.

"You're always pretty." He declared with a soft kiss to her knuckles. He nearly leaped with joy when she stood, done with washing and shaving–only to deadpan when she slathered herself in scented oils outside of the bath.

Tonight was like all the previous ones, Ben insisting that he could not sleep without her tender massages. It had been a long day for both of them, both content to relax in their shared silence. Until she paused her motions to move potsitions.

For minutes at a time, she would scratch, wondering how he had not fallen asleep yet. He would moan whenever she paused, pleading desperately. "You won't die without it for one night, my love." She snorted quietly in the candlelit room.

"I might. How do we know that I won't?" He grunted, face deep into her smooth neck.

"My husband, killed not by the sword of a fearsome enemy, but by not getting enough attention from his wife." Rena sighed.

He nodded, smiling. "That will be put on my gravestone." They both laughed.

"You really can't sleep without it?"

"Truly." Benji answered.

"Hm. What if I couldn't sleep, would you not return the favor?" Rena asked, amused.

Benjicot answered by lifted his hand to her face, showing off his blunt calloused fingertips. "Gotta keep 'em short."

"Ah, yes. For swordfighting.' She mused.

"No, for you."

"Me?" Bemused, she glanced down at him, only to see his smug face.

"Gross, Ben." She said, through a poorly hidden laugh. Benjicot looked very pleased with himself as he wetly kissed her check, producing a dramatic 'pop!' sound.

"You weren't complaining earlier."

Rena shoved his face away, groaning at his boorishness. "Go to bed." She huffed.

"I will, once you scatch my back."

They held prolonged eye contact, neither backing down until Rena blinked accidentally. "Ha!" Benjicot cheered. "I win."

Rena rolled her eyes, knowing she couldn't argue with their years-long tradition. Any petty and unserious argument must be solved with a staring contest to swiftly end it, lest it be turned into a serious one.

She sat back once more, hair a mess around her when it scrunched into the pillow. Benji followed, laying right were he always did, on her chest. He sighed with content when she started moving her nails in patterns across his skin.

"Thank you, my love."

Rena hummed her response, kissing his messy hair goodnight.

[starb3rrys]

ADA/PM/DOA- Water Bottle On Ceiling Fan Challenge

I was scrolling through TikTok and I saw a video of people playing this challenge and getting the bejesus out of them so here we go! FYI, only some characters will be included because there’s a lot-

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Armed Detective Agency

Dazai:

Definitely the one who started it, “Everyone! I have discovered a new way to train our instincts and reaction time on unsuspecting sneak attacks!.” The most bullshit lie I’ve ever heard in my life somehow convinces everyone to participate. He puts blindfolds on everyone’s eyes to supposedly simulate the “sneaky and unsuspected” part. He then turns on the fan, sits down and enjoys the show while recording for “research and review” purposes.

Kunikida:

At first, he was very suspicious about this “new way” of training especially because it was brought up by Dazai, but he decided to give in to the curiosity and participate when he thought about how beneficial it could be. He was skeptical on the whole blindfold thing but once Dazai explained how it was needed to simulate “unsuspected sneak attacks” he actually thought it was smart and reasonable. Definitely takes it way too seriously and gets irritated and a bit red when he keeps getting hit straight in the face. Dazai definitely changed the setting to the highest one specifically for Kunikida, he tries to maintain his calmness and find a way to avoid the water bottle by memorizing the movements. All in all sucked at it at first but ended up doing pretty good. (Once he found out it was all a prank by Dazai to just have fun, he definitely smacks the bejesus out of him R. I. P. Osamu Dazai).

Atsushi:

Poor boy, he almost had stars in his eyes when he heard that Dazai had found a way to train for sneak attacks. He immediately accepted, he couldn’t turn down an opportunity to improve. Especially in something as sneak attacks which is something he still needs to work on. As Dazai was explaining the rules he couldn’t help but low key be suspicious and hesitant but hey cmon it’s Dazai, he always had weird plans that somehow always worked. At first, man’s could not catch a break, he got smacked by the bottle left and right. After some quick thinking he uses his tiger hearing to track the movement of the bottle, he swiftly moved his head to avoid the bottle and did a relatively good job. He was so proud of himself and actually believed that it helped him improve quite a bit.

Kenji:

He asks no questions and happily agrees. He thinks it’s a weird activity city people do so he just goes along with it, a big smile on his face. My guy does not understand the assignment, he just stands there and lets the bottle hit him. Dazai laughs and says “Kenji you’re doing it wrong!.” “Oh!” Is all he says before punching the shit out of the bottle. He was very proud of himself and thought he did so well. Everyone was flabbergasted and just stared at the new hole on the wall. After that, Kunikida lectures him about punching things carelessly without thinking.

Port Mafia

Tachihara:

Once he found out about this challenge he just knew he had to tell everyone about it. Somehow manages to convince everyone by saying whoever the winner was, they would be considered “the best port mafia member”. After hearing that, everyone was instantly intrigued and determined to prove that they were the best. Tachihara was the organizer so he was the one who kept score and put blindfolds on everyone. (He definitely changes the setting for specific people, Mf finds it funny when they get hit).

Higuchi:

My poor baby, she only agreed to it because she wanted to impress Akutagawa. She made sure to keep her guard up and took it very seriously. She swears it was rigged when the bottle kept hitting her straight in the face, she starts to move her head around to dodge but Tachihara changed the setting causing it to still hit her. She still managed to dodge the bottle a few times and didn’t do too bad. She was definitely embarrassed and prayed that Akutagawa only saw the parts where the bottle missed her. Made sure to make Tachihara pay for changing the setting on purpose.

Akutagawa:

Thought the challenge was stupid and was a waste of time but once Tachihara mentioned how it would show everyone he was superior, he agreed. My guy was so (¬_¬) faced the whole time. When the challenge started, he dodged the water bottle easily and kind of building a rhythm. It was when someone yelled “pretend Dazai is watching” where my boy froze. The bottle hit his face, “RASHOMON”, in a millisecond the bottle was cut in half and water fell everywhere. Akutagawa stood there for about 4 seconds in silence, walked away and sat down, “not a single word.”

Chuuya:

When he heard about the challenge, he was confident that he would easily beat it. Man fr says out loud “step aside losers, your superior and best port mafia member is here, now let me show you how it’s done.” He dodges the bottle effortlessly and even laughs about how easy it is. But once Tachihara turns up the setting, that confidence is nowhere to be seen. “Hey what th-“ *SMACK* right on his face. My boy freezes, no words or movement. As the bottle is about to hit him again, *SMACK* he punches the shit out of the bottle in a fit of rage. He takes the blindfold off, puts his hands in his pockets and walks away, you can almost feel the rage vibrating off him, dusty pink blush visibly on his face. “Tsk- this game is stupid, pick this all up and get back to work.” __〆(￣ー￣ )

Decay Of Angels

Nikolai:

This Mf right here, when he heard about the challenge he just KNEW he had to try it with the rest of the DOA. He begs and literally PLEADS with everyone to do it. Promises a prize in the end (something dumb probably like a $2 gift card for radio shack). Everyone just agrees to make him stfu after he starts wailing “PLEASE I PROMISE ITLL BE FUN, PLEASE OH CMON”. He promises it will all be a fair game (he lied).

Sigma:

He’s. A. Victim. He just agrees because Fyodor told him to. “Agreeing to play this challenge is the only way to shut him up, so just accept.” He is so confused and has no idea what to do so Nikolai just puts the blindfold on him and drags him to the middle. My guy just stands there with a (ಠ_ಠ) face. Once the challenge starts he immediately gets hit. “What th-“ *SMACK* straight in the face. He just looks around frantically and gets smacked again, Nikolai turned the settings all the way up istg, “NIKOLAI THIS ISNT FU-“ *SMACK* my guy starts waving his hands around in a panic and just squats down at that point ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ Nikolai is just in the back laughing his ass off. (Save this poor man).

Fyodor:

He knows what the purpose of this challenge is from the start, he knows Nikolai just wants to get a good laugh but he agrees anyway. Thinks it’s pretty dumb and a waste of time but what can you do. Nikolai puts the blindfold on him and starts the challenge immediately. He easily knows where the bottle is, where it will be, and when. So he dodges it easily without fail. (Nikolai is kind of unsatisfied so he turns up the setting to at least get one hit in). Fyodor knows that the setting has been turned up and why, so he just lets the bottle hit him. “Oops, I guess I lose”. Nikolai knows he did it on purpose so he considers it as cheating. “THATS CHEATING! Ugh fine atleast i got to see sigma get hit hehehe!-“

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to do some funny scenarios for today, hope you liked it!

[olenvasynyt]

I want to talk about my journey with Azriel. And tbh I'm a bit afraid to because I like Gwynriel, but it wasn't always in my head, and I had / have some harsh opinions about him.

When I first read ACOTAR, he was instantly my favorite batboy because I love a broody guy with a dark past. You could tell that was is very sensitive under his cold exterior, and I always really liked characters like that. I also have an OC that Az really reminded me of so before I joined the fanbase, I only saw Az as my OC. It was great. (this is an OC who I have been developing for an embarrassing amount of time and one who I love so deeply I feel like it is a permanent mark on my very soul so yeah. It was great. And it's what makes the downfall of Az so painful for me)

And then I joined the fanbase and got into a group of friends who also loved Az. And I remember me and this group discovered there was a bonus chapter for him!! It was so exciting but we heard there was controversy so we decided to read it together.

And oh my god. The instant switch we all went through...it was actually fucking crazy. I remember I was at work on my break and my friends were just screaming DANA OH MY GOD I HATE THIS DANA PLEASE ANSWER ARE YOU OKAY DID THE BONUS CHAPTER KILL YOU???

It's really hard when you had a certain vision of a character you like and then a single chapter has the ability to destroy it instantly.

None of us in this chat thought about the shipwar or anything. This group was never into that. We just immediately got the absolute ick from Az's POV that it instantly turned us all off fom liking him. And we talked about the shipwars and E/riel vs Gwynriel but we all shared the mindset that both Elain and Gwyn deserved better than Az.

This ACOTAR friend group was heavy into Azris 💀 Because we all were like, "he needs to be fucking humbled and no one can do that better than Eris!!" But that is something I'll delve into later. Plus Az has a habit of supressing emotions until they build up and break and that is one of my favorite tropes when it comes to mlm romances. Shoving away thoughts, having feelings of self-hatred, seeing someone else and hating the way they make you feel, etc etc etc. I can spend ages talking about Azris. The perfect mlm enemies to lovers.

It was so bizarre how quickly my thoughts around him shifted. For a while, he did feel like an incel to me, or a fuck boy, or just a very entitled person. It also got me to see the flaws in other things such as the situation with Mor and how weird it was that he listed after her and tried to declare his feelings right after he rescued her from the Autumn border. That’s weird behavior. And I was always more accepting of Gwynriel before I interacted with the shipwars (and I never liked E/riel or barely thought of E/riel before the shipwars), but again, after ages I was always like ughhhh I like Gwynriel more but Gwyn deserves better.

I disliked Az for such a long time and it was so disappointing because I did really like him from the instant I met him! He reminded me so much of my OC that I've had for ages! But the bonus chapter...

So many of my mutuals and followers on tiktok know this: I don't want a female to heal Az. He needs to be humbled, brought to his lowest point so he can break and open up and heal. I kind of think of Chaol where he was brought to such a low point but he still struggled to open up. And as soon as I realized that similarity, it helped me appreciate him more.

The bonus chapter shown a spotlight on his flaws as a character. But that's the thing: The bonus chapter shown a spotlight on his flaws as a character.

After several rereads, especially my last reread, I again opened up to him because all of those flaws make him so complicated and interesting to read. And all of that on top of his backstory, his struggle with his feelings, his self-hatred and desperation and loneliness...it helps me root for him. I root for him to heal, to do better, to think better about himself, and I hope that he can heal enough to allow himself to have a happy life. He is dark, sad, lonely, angry and envious and reactionary, and all of that makes him so complicated. I personally like to read characters like that. I enjoy reading complex characters. Their low moments can be painful, but you can see hope for him, and the potential future where things are resolved and you get the feeling of such wonderful euphoria.

So I do like Azriel. I do. But I think the flaws and the low moments he has are very important to his character. And they can make you hate him, sure. I definitely experienced that. But if you like him, it is important to point out that those flaws do exist. It what makes him, and what will drive his story.

[banguette]

Remember Me Once More | Ted Shackleford (The Man in The Yellow Hat) x f. Reader

description: He stayed. You left. 6 years after your last meeting, a game of circumstance lands you in the same room as him - and his monkey. With 2 weeks of working in close proximity, things are bound to come to light. The question is, how will he perceive it?

word count: 14.7k

warnings: they are both idiots!!! who are in love!!! angsty feelings, cursing a lot of talk of canada and the us as well as culinary schools (i did my research but i'm not from either of those places so pls forgive me if some things are wrong), some words are in italian because the pisghettis, awkward conversations, ted is a nerdy dilfy hotshot museum director, reader is a chef, sex fantasies (a LOT of them), they get trapped in a room, many many apologies, flashbacks to college, it's never explained but ted calls oc chowder, oc has two moms because we love diversity, brief mention of 'the office' and julius the monkey, sweet confessions, SO MUCH KISSING!!, cheesy lines are exchanged, boners, ted has a big virgin dick, experienced reader, oral sex (male and female recieving), a bit of a hair kink, clit play, ted is a bit too excited sometimes, bickering like they're an old married couple, reader has an iud, unprotected sex (do not try!! i repeat, do not try!!), several orgasms, creampies (yes, creampieS), missionary, riding, they act like horny teenagers, ted's butt deserves its own warning so here it is, brief mentions of bath sex, old wounds finally heal, the three of them are basically a family, public speaking, y/n is a bit unhinged, more sweet confessions, allusions to exhibition (pls keep in mind this is my first smut fic, be kind!!)

cover by: me (illustrations featured belong to their rightful owners)

note: I do not regret this book nor do I condone it. Fueled by Ted TikToks, inspired by 'Maroon' by Taylor Swift and 'Don’t You Remember?' by Adele.

Ted Shackleford was not a malevolent person.

Ask anyone and everyone who knew him; he was the last person to hold a grudge against anyone. His monkey had flooded his apartment - thrice! But his response every time he discovered George scratching his head uncomfortably and awkwardly giggling amid the soapy bubbles and rubber duckies surrounding him was to just sigh before proceeding to clean the place.

But you? You were a different story. Every time he recalls the blurry memory of you walking away from him - the last time he ever saw you - he only vividly remembers the anger bubbling up inside his chest. He only remembers the deep frown etched on his face, and the furrowing of his eyebrows as he dug his nails into his palm. Was it selfish to only recall what he felt at that moment, rather than the sight of you hurriedly making your way to your plane without sparing him another glance? To look back on perhaps the most significant turning point in his life and only focus on his emotions rather than figuring out why you left in the first place?

He didn't know. And, to be quite frank, a part of him doesn't care. Altruism was his one principle in life and constantly bent over backward 24/7 to make everyone happy; surely he could afford to be unkind in this one avenue.

But...

Some nights - including tonight - he thinks of the other memories you shared. That elementary school Halloween party, where you warned him that he was going to get teased relentlessly for dressing up as Percy Shelley (whom he was weirdly obsessed with back then), but come the day you surprised everyone by strolling in as Mary - Frankenstein plush and all in your hand. Yeah, you both still got ridiculed by all the Scooby-Doos and Rugrats in your class, but no bullying could have deterred the warmth he felt inside when you leaned over and whispered, "It's either both of us or none of us."

There was also that day in freshman year when you guys cycled through town, the sun setting behind you as you rushed home to make it in time for curfew. How you'd tripped over a train track and he'd tried his best to clean and dress the small gash on your knee, and how you looked at him as if he'd hung up the stars in the sky to accompany the moon when he matched his pace to yours and made it home extremely late. He'd gotten scolded, but it didn't matter. Not as long as you were safe. Besides, all was forgiven when you presented him with a history book in addition to his favorite cookies over a week later. The book inspired him to pursue history and eventually landed him a career as a museum director at the Met. Without you, he doesn't know how he wouldn't have gotten here.

It's that exact realization, however, that causes him to shift to his side on the bed and shake off all thoughts of you. He was approaching 30, for god's sake, and had a life to think about now rather than you; the one that got away. He lists them all in his head: a rambunctious monkey not even the age of 3, the meeting he has tomorrow for his new gallery opening, his friends... If it meant that, to focus, he had to drown out his thoughts (and the feeling of your soft lips pressing against his that one time) to the sound of George peacefully snoring in the room beside him, then so be it.

You had to remain in the past because Ted doesn't have space for you in his future.

The last thing you want to be confronted with after your tedious 6-hour flight to New York City is bitter coffee, but of course, that is what you get. The minute the foul-tasting liquid grazes your taste buds you spit it out onto the pavement, where the crowds don't even bother reacting to your gross public act of self-humiliation. It is at that moment when you truly feel like you are in New York, never mind the countless welcoming posters you'd seen passing through the airport. Being back in America after half a dozen years abroad felt dizzying - like something you'd spent so long carrying with you around British Columbia had finally lifted itself from your shoulders when you landed. You finally felt at home.

That being said, you weren't here for good just yet. Everything that you owned was still tied up in your apartment back in Vancouver, it depended on the outcome of your upcoming interview on whether or not you'd be moving here permanently. In the meantime, you'd spend the next few days here exploring the Apple; it's unlikely, but perhaps you could secure some last-minute Broadway tickets, or take a gander through the Central Park Zoo, or maybe even go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Right now though, the coffee had done nothing and you were more focused on getting to your hotel and crashing into the comfortable bed. Jetlag was a bitch, but it was one you were willing to give into.

After checking in, the concierge handed you a bunch of pamphlets on things to do while you're in New York before smiling and sending you on your way. Leaning against the elevator wall, luggage in tow, you flipped through them. You stop at the Met's in particular; despite being a culinary student, a dear old friend had gotten you somewhat interested in history and museums have kind of drawn you in since. You unfolded the paper, glazing your tired eyes over the words, briefly looking over the pictures.

Until you spot a familiar face staring back at you.

In your confusion, you bring the paper closer to your face. Surely it couldn't be - oh my god, it is. Your 'dear old friend' was right there on the paper, smiling and beckoning you to visit with a small monkey on his shoulder. Right as the elevator pinged, you folded the paper and removed the picture from your sight. Slight change of plans, you thought internally as you walked towards your hotel room. Maybe you wouldn't be visiting the Met after all.

"George! I'm home!" Ted yelled, walking inside and setting his keys into the designated bowl, and hanging his hat up on the hook. The day had been grueling, some cuddles with his favorite non-human in the world were all he was looking forward to. George was equally as excited to catch the man in the yellow hat up on his day; he'd spent his time playing with Hundley and one of the things they did together was making a mess in George's bedroom. Ted groaned, muttered 'I'll clean this up later,' under his breath before scooping the primate up in his arms and settling down on the couch. Together, they watched a few episodes of the show they'd started before Ted left to go shower.

As the water trickled down his body and he lathered the shampoo onto his hair, Ted recounted key points from his meeting. The new Invention of Cooking exhibit would be one of their grandest yet; aside from collecting hundreds of utensils, tools, and recipes from all around the world and from different points in history, they would also be flying in top culinary experts and food history enthusiasts for the opening. Having so many people come in and also having the entire gallery focused on food itself meant that they would have to bring caterers in, and obviously, Ted knew no one better to perform the task than the Pisghettis. He'd have to drop by their restaurant after work tomorrow to discuss the appetizers, main course, and dessert platters that they'd be serving. Aside from that, there were still a bajillion other things to do and only a month left to do it. He was losing his mind the more often he was left alone with it.

Once he got out, he tied a towel along his waist and ran another through his hair before making his way to the kitchen to make dinner. He only needed to heat up what he'd made the day before anyway, so he split the leftovers into two bowls and threw them in the microwave. While it was in there, he changed into his loose sleeveless shirt paired with his boxers; all his signature yellow. He made his way back to the kitchen before calling George over, and they made light conversation as they ate.

Later on in the evening, when Ted had read him his favorite bedtime story and tucked him into bed, he clambered onto the balcony and started to water his mini-garden. Halfway into this routine, he paused and looked beyond the railings to the brightly lit streets below him. In combination with the chill air, it was enough to make even the toughest day seem so distant from where he was now. Keyword: was. Ted had originally purchased the apartment solely for the view, but now he just felt lonely gazing down at it. He wished he had someone to share it with. There was always George, and he wouldn't trade that little guy for anything, but you could only converse with a monkey so many times. He longed for someone to be by his side, to have deep conversations, and also to joke around with. Someone who could do more than nod and make a few, albeit cute, sounds.

His mind flickers to an image of you for a millisecond. Then, he finishes watering all the plants and shuffles towards his cold, empty bed for another night.

You knock on the door anxiously, your gaze focused on the couple sitting at the dinner table in front of you. "Excuse me, I'm here for the interview?"

"Ah, you must be Y/N!" Netti, as you learn her name to be, says as she leads you to where her husband is sitting. "How was the flight, dear? Thank you for visiting on such short notice."

You wave her off, "My pleasure, I've been meaning to visit here anyway. You guys did me a favor!" Uh-oh. Was that too much? Possibly too little? They didn't seem to mind, both of them making polite conversation with you as Chef Pisghetti contentedly petted the kitten on his lap. They were extremely nice, you'd noted. Much better than some of the past bosses you'd had. At least, you'd hope they would be your bosses. Another thing you noticed was how each time one was speaking, the other would put their undivided attention on them and their eyes shone with adoration. It showed just how comfortable and in love they were with each other, and a fuzzy feeling filled your chest.

"Let's get into business, Y/N," Pisghetti says once the conversation fizzles out. "Your resume's extremely impressive; 4 years of school in Le Cordon Bleu and The Culinary Arts School of Ontario? Apprenticeship at the CN Tower? Ammazza! You're brilliant!" He grins sheepishly and you smile back in return. "I have one question though," He makes an inquisitive face.

"Yes?" Stress builds in your chest, scared of what was to come.

He throws his hands in the air excitedly. "When can you start?"

That's how you find yourself getting a pseudo-training session from the two for the rest of the time. The restaurant was closed for the day, so you got to learn the layout of their kitchen, how Pisghetti cannot accept anything less than perfection (which suits you fine anyway being a perfectionist yourself), and even take a tour through their spectacular rooftop garden. A lush green farm amidst the busy streets of New York, could you imagine? Most importantly of all, you learn about Gnocchi, the Pisghetti's kitten. The cutie had been saved from a tree by one of their firefighter friends a few months back, and once the pair had seen her they couldn't look back. Gnocchi was now part of their routine and soon would be a part of yours too. Everything revolved around the spoiled but loveable creature.

By the time it rolled around to half past 5, the Pisghetti's handed you some food so you wouldn't have to spend another day eating cup noodles and microwaveable mac and cheese and allowed you to hang your apron up. However, just as you said your goodbyes and were about to walk through the kitchen door, you heard a jingle come from the main dining area. "That's weird," You said to Netti and the chef went out to greet whoever came by. "Weren't you guys closed?"

"Don't worry about it tesoro mio, it's probably our friends. They told us they were going to drop by."

You nodded your head and hugged Netti one last time before making your way to the front entrance. At first, the odd and lanky yellow shape didn't register as anything familiar in your peripheral vision. It was only when the figure turned around to acknowledge you that you felt the wind get knocked out of your lungs. Your mouth felt dry and your knees felt weak as your eyes snagged onto those of the man in front of you. You felt zaps from his staring register in your brain, sending tingles down your spine to the tips of your toes.

Who knew that after so long, Ted Shackleford would still have the same effect on you?

It was strange. He always thought that, if he saw you again, he'd feel the same anger and resentment as he did when you left. But as your eyes connect and lock onto yours, all he feels is the sharp pain of old wounds reopening. An eternal flame of longing was reignited within him, surrounded by a moat of suffering.

After picking George up from Professor Wiseman's office after work, they made the journey to the Pisghetti's diner so that he could muck around for a bit with Gnocchi and Ted could discuss the menu for the opening with the chef. He'd called in beforehand to ask them if he should drop by the apartment or the restaurant, and they told him they'd be in the latter. Something about an interview with a girl who flew in? He didn't know. Forget pushing it to the back of his head, he'd thrown the piece of information out completely.

Pushing through the red door, the duo was soon joined by Pisghetti. George soon ran off once he spotted Gnocchi, making happy little monkey noises while doing so, whereas Ted settled down with Pisghetti and they had a light banter. "Like I was saying, Chef," Ted said. "I want you to go all out with this. Give it the full Pisghetti treatment. I'm thinking maybe 5 courses if you're up for it, some cleansers in between."

The cook nodded excitedly as he launched into his plan. "I've already been testing for this one recipe - I'll probably serve it as an appetizer - something I'm calling my giardino sliders. Oh, you'll love it! È magnifico!"

Had it not been for him keeping an eye out for George, he probably wouldn't have noticed the figure quietly making her way out of the kitchen. But he did. And once his eyes spotted her, his face turned to her and his jaw dropped. Pisghetti was unbothered at first, but once he realized the other wasn't responding anymore, his head shot up and he looked between the two of you, not sending the tension. "Ah, Y/N, this is Ted. He's a friend of mine. Teddy, this is Y/N - our new hire." He paused for a moment. "Hey, since she's going to help me make all of this anyway, maybe Y/N should join us here. What do you think?" Before either could reply, Netti called her husband from the kitchen and he shuffled his way to her.

Then, for the first time in 6 years, you and Ted Shackleford were in the same room together.

It was the latter that first broke the ice. "Y/N..."

"Please don't say anything." You mumble out, clearly uncomfortable as you shift from one leg to the other.

Ted's heart sank. He'd say this is not how he'd envisioned your reunion, but that would mean he'd have to admit he imagined it in the first place.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, that sounded rude as hell." You say, shaking your head. "I mean, please don't tell Chef Pisghetti anything. I really, really need this job, Ted." You stared at him with your pleading eyes. Ted could only nod in return.

"Um, anyway. How- how are you?" You say, biting your lip.

"Good. Uh, I'm a museum director now. At the Met. Metropolitan Museum. Of Art." He choked out, barely being able to form a coherent thought.

"Yeah, I saw a picture. You had a monkey in your hands and said something about coming by for an exciting afternoon."

"That's George, he's actually mine. In fact, he's around here somewhere. Where'd he go? George?"

After a few seconds, you felt a tug at the hem of your dress. You looked down to see the young simian from the pamphlet happily meeting your sight before rushing to sit on Ted's lap. "I adopted him about 2 years ago, he's been with me since." He said while George nuzzled into the man's arms (is it logical to be jealous of a monkey?).

You genuinely grin, "He's sweet. Wasn't expecting you to have a monkey but I guess it makes sense."

"I really don't think you have a clue about who I am." He replied, almost snappily. His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of his words.

Silence. Your heart pounded inside of your chest.

Chef Pisghetti thankfully walked in at that moment, "Mi dispiace, Netti was having some trouble with one of the recipes - or rather, some trouble reading my handwriting." He giggled to himself. "Anyway, Y/N, I've kept you waiting long enough. You can go, I understand you're tired. You can join us for another meeting, see you tomorrow. Ciao!" He said.

Nodding your head meekly and uttering out a soft 'thanks', you hurried out of there. You weren't tired, actually, but you couldn't stand being around Ted for another second. Could this get any worse?

Lucky for you, Ted didn't come back the next day. The entire week, really. Or the next. George would pop by from time to time, with you quickly getting fond of the silly guy, but his owner (dad?) was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was for the best. You don't need to be digging up any trauma, especially right now.

This good luck streak would end when Pisghetti asked you to hand deliver a parcel. To Ted. At the Met. It was cruel, how life was treating you. After two weeks of blissfully testing and experimenting with recipes once the restaurant had closed, fate had decided you were having too much of a fun time and sent down a terrible idea to shake things up a little, knowing you couldn't say no. You sigh as you hold the large box in your hands and climbed up the steps, hoping to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. It was once again after 5 and you craved nothing but the leftovers in the fridge (nowadays, you prefer to leave the cooking at work) and the new season of your favorite show.

"Excuse me, ma'am," An old white man dressed in an even whiter lab coat approached you. "No food allowed on the premises, please."

"Ah, I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding," You say, reasoning with him. "These are for Ted. Ted Shackleford? I believe he's the director?"

The man nodded his head in understanding, "Ah, yes! You must be the Pisghettis' new girl. Sorry for not realizing sooner, I'm Alvin Einstein. No relation to the big one, unfortunately. This way!" He said, leading you through some smaller almost unnoticeable doors along the wall to get to the director's office faster.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you must not be local if you don't know who Ted is," Alvin pointed out as he ushered you inside the employee elevator. "Not that he's that well-known but people do recognize him in these parts."

"Yeah, I just came here from Ontario." You say in response, focusing on the ascending numbers as you got closer and closer to his office. "Started the job about two weeks ago."

Alvin nodded, briefly told you about the time he visited Ontario with his wife, and when the elevator reached its destination bid you off. "To the left!" He said. "You wouldn't miss it!" You face that direction as the doors of the lift close behind you and see a big door next to a plaque emblazoned with the words 'Director's Office - Theodore Shackleford' in gold. He was right, you couldn't miss it no matter how much you wanted to. You walk over and lift your hand, knocking once, twice, thrice.

You wait for a heartbeat before a faint 'Come in,' is heard from inside. You open the door and come face to face with Ted, sitting only a few feet away behind his giant desk with his reading glasses on his face. For one tiny split second that you would take to your grave, you imagine sucking him off underneath it as he takes an important call - beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as his glasses fog up - he'd clench his jaw, desperate to not moan and ruin your cover. God, he looked so fucking hot in his seat, even the absurd yellow suit draping over his curves and muscles deliciously.

His words snap you out of reality. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was expecting the Chef, I would've cleaned up a bit more had I known it was you. Come, sit. You're just in time for, err, linner?" He motions toward the seat in front of him, taking off his glasses to your disappointment.

You are about to protest when Ted shrugs you off. "Listen, I- I wanted to apologize. That was really rude of me to snap at you like that. You know that I'm not that type of person." He says, fiddling his thumbs.

"It's okay. Really, I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For not telling the Chef anything. I don't really want to go back to Ontario; I'm kind of dreading picking up all my stuff. Had you said anything about our history, I could have been let go. I mean, he's your friend. He'd do anything to make you happy."

"Y/N," he sighed, rubbing his temples. Despite his tone, hearing him say your name was a treat in itself as if he'd coated it in everything that is good in this world before presenting it to you. "You know I'd never do that. And neither would he, I think. He's my friend but he'd be crazy to give up such a talented person as you."

Your heart fluttered, and you gave a small smile. Realizing his confession, he coughed and pointed to the bags. "So, what have you got for me?"

You walk him through the meals that had been prepared, sharing all the ingredients and ideas that culminated in them. You don't notice how he barely looks at the food and focuses on you instead. Eventually, he calls George in to try the food and even convinces you to have a few bites. Most of the time you talk about the kid;- mostly about how cheeky he is. He tells you how he once got stuck on the subway for the entire day, making Ted run all around New York to find him, but even moments like those are worth it because the bond between them is unbreakable. You found it endearing and secretly wished you got the same opportunity - a second chance to love Ted as freely as you did before, or at least could have.

George left as soon as you guys finished, already having arranged a playdate and sleepover with Charkie for that day. As he left, your minds were too buzzed from being in each other's company for the entire evening that you barely acknowledged the click behind you as you packed away. Ted had loved everything but gave a few notes here and there that you'd have to take up with Pisghetti. You beam warmly at Ted, giving your thanks once more before grabbing the door handle.

You tugged. Nothing.

You tugged again. Still nothing.

Third time in and you were panicking. Realizing your distress, Ted walked over (was his scent always this intoxicating?) and gave it a try himself before he outwardly groaned. "Crap." he said, "The doors automatically lock after 6 for security measures, George doesn't know that. It's stupid, I've been meaning to change it. Ugh. It just - it just became second nature to me you know?" He ran his fingers through his hair. You had to stop yourself from reaching out and playing with his tousled strands. On the other hand, he marched over to his desk and punched a few numbers in, and spoke firmly but politely into the phone. He was met with a disappointing response on the other end, causing a frown to settle on his face. After pleading for a bit more, he eventually returns the handset back in place. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Why, what's the verdict?"

"They can't get us out until 7 AM. We're going to have to spend the night here."

Nothing about this was ideal. You were sprawled over on the pull out couch, your back facing him as you try your hardest to fall asleep. Meanwhile, he'd have to periodically pull his eyes from your serene figure and try to focus on getting comfortable on the floor. He shouldn't be complaining, he'd practically forced you to take the bed. Still, being 28 meant that he didn't have the same body as he did when he was 18. He was definitely going to feel this tomorrow.

That being said, Ted doesn't know if he'd really call it unfortunate. When you'd started to leave, Ted was about to reach out and ask you to stay, to take a stroll with him. Reminisce about the past. Talk about why you left and why it felt like you took a piece of him with you. Anything. He just wanted to be near you. It had been so long. His nervous prayers were answered when the door refused to open. Sure, you weren't talking, but your presence itself was soothing.

He heard you shifting where you were laying down and looked over to see you staring at the ceiling, clearly unable to sleep. "Can't sleep?" he asks, giving in to temptation.

Your eyes quickly snap to him, and he feels them glaze over his chest. The suit was not at all comfortable to sleep in, so he'd loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a little. He hadn't realized how it made him look seductive but seeing the way your eyes widened as you looked him up and down did cause pink to bloom on his cheeks and ears.

"Uh... sorry, what did you say?"

"Can't sleep?"

You lick your lips. "Um, yeah. Today's been a long day and it doesn't seem to be over anytime soon."

"I understand. Hey, sorry about this mess. This was not the way I envisioned this evening."

"Didn't you say you didn't know I was coming?" You say, giggling.

"You know what I meant!" He chuckles in return. "Is the couch uncomfortable? I haven't slept on it in a while, might be a bit stiff."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's fine, I'm just restless." A blanket of silence covers you again, but this time it's not awkward. You move to sit properly on the couch, essentially telling him you're available to talk.

"We talked a lot about George while we were eating," Ted says first. "However I still don't have a clue about what you were up to when you were in Ontario. How've you been?"

"Well, I did two years at Le Cordon Bleu, but in my 3rd year I decided to transfer." You begin. "Partly because I wasn't meshing well with the other students and partly because; well, I could. I'd been offered a scholarship from CASO, so I did my last two years there. It sucks though, I really thought it would be my alma mater. I bought an apartment but after a year I fell out of love with it and soon I fell out of love with the entire province. So, I applied for the sous chef role in Pisghetti's and, well. Here I am."

"I'm sorry Le Cordon Bleu wasn't like what you'd seen in Julie & Julia - still don't understand what you see in it by the way -"

"Hey! Leave me alone."

" - But, I'm proud of you, Y/N. Your talent overshadowed our town."

You're left dumbfounded. "That's so sweet. Thank you. Truly." You say, playing with your hair. How could he say probably the nicest words you've ever received despite what you did? Surely Ted couldn't be that nice.

"What about you? I knew you were going places but I didn't expect you to end up here so soon." You inquisitively ask.

He scratches the back of his head. "It was all luck, really. I started off as an intern, but the previous director took notice of me and took me under his wing. I've been here for, what, 4 years now?"

"You were only 24?! Jesus, you must be the youngest museum curator ever. Why're you watering your accomplishments down?"

"Ha, I was far from the youngest. I believe that title belongs to a 5-year-old?"

"What? Wow." You say, bewildered. "Hey, isn't George under 3? Maybe you could help him beat both that record and be the first monkey to do so."

"That's - that's actually not that bad of an idea." He says, daydreaming about how chaotic that would be to even approach.

You take your chance. "I've been meaning to ask... what's with the yellow? You were never a big fan of the color growing up."

He falls shy. "It's going to sound really stupid, but I purposely tried to make myself look like a banana so that George would come to like me faster. Professor Einstein told me we associate ourselves with other objects better when we have a pre-established bond with them. I still don't know if he was trying to get a joke out of me, but I guess it worked. Look, the brown boots are meant to be the stem, and the polka dot tie is meant to be the seeds."

You make an 'Ahh' sound, realizing why he'd paired the odd combination together. "That's really smart, wow. But George loves you now, why keep wearing it?"

"I guess I haven't found the time to shift back." He replied, shrugging.

"We'll have to change that. Also, Julie & Julia is a very good movie thank you very much."

He gives you a lopsided grin in response. His gaze stays on your face. The silence envelops you both once more. You both stare into each other as if there were no other people in the world, your eyes sharing words that were hard to put out into the real world. "I missed you." he finally says. "I missed you like crazy, Y/N."

"I missed you too." You say, hesitantly. More than he could ever know.

"Why did you leave? You never gave me a real answer."

"It's complicated-"

"You seriously cannot say you expect to stroll back into my life like you never left after breaking my heart like that." He says, his voice getting firmer as he scoots closer to you. "I- I deserve better. You know I do. I deserve an answer."

A sigh escapes you. The truth had to come out one way or another.

6 years ago, you had an epiphany. You remember exactly where you were; Econ 101, senior year of college. Your mind was in a distant land even as you stared at the professor's whiteboard, but by the end of class, you'd come to a decision. This would be your last year doing anything related to economics; you were going to go to culinary school.

It wasn't that you were particularly bad at the subject, your heart just wasn't in it. Every day when you walked into school, all you wished to do was go back to the 4 walls of your kitchen;- smell the aroma as the onions carmelized on the pan, the repeated action of the knife chopping through different vegetables, the sizzle of the wok as you added oil to it. You wouldn't find your heart calculating the GDP or GNP bullcrap, it would always be there at home standing in front of the stove figuring out what seasonings the meal needed.

The moment the realization hit you, you rushed to your shared dorm with Ted. You know he'd stayed at home today and wasted no time in letting him be the first one to know of your new decision. He's a bit surprised to see not just you but the frazzled expression on your face, but ushers you inside anyway. You unload everything that was on your mind from the last hour onto him and eagerly wait to hear what he thinks.

"I think," He says, stroking his chin. "You should do it."

"Are you sure? You don't think it's too late? I mean, 4 years of my life have gone into this already."

"Don't forget this is the rest of your life, chowder. I'd much rather you do something you actually love rather than something you only picked because of convenience."

"I don't know, Ted... It's in Canada. I'll be there for a long time, too."

He reached out to grab your hands, your cheeks turning a shade of pink that you hope would go unnoticed by him. "Y/N. You've always been there for me, and I can't thank you enough for it. Let me be the same for you. It doesn't matter how long, or how much, or whatever - as long as you're happy. Take the leap, apply for Le Gordon Blah-blah." You grin, lost in his cheerful eyes.

That was the push you needed to finally tip yourself over the edge. He was by your side when you repeated the same process with your moms (slightly less rambly this time). They were skeptical at first - who wouldn't be? - but eventually accepted that this was your life and you were more than capable enough to handle it. He was also by your side when you applied for the program. He'd helped you write and rewrite your application several times, batting your hand away from your mouth every time you got the urge to bite your nails. Bless his heart, he even clicked on the upload button when you got too scared to.

When you were accepted, it was his arms you ran to. Ted has always been your number-one supporter, hasn't he?

Of course, with only a few classes left to go before you got handed your degree, you decided to stick around for the final exams. It was pretty funny to compare your calm and serene mood compared to your friends who were freaking the absolute hell out - most of all, Ted. He completely forgot that self-care was a thing, spending hours hunched over his history textbooks and going for hours without food. His reading glasses were on him 24/7 - not that you minded. Still, you had to step in for him at that moment; prepping his meals, dragging him to bed, and massaging his back every time it started to hurt. He kept on thanking you, but you brushed them off. It was honestly the least you could do, and you knew he would do the same for you.

One night, you dragged him from his studies to watch The Office with you. "It'll help your brain relax a bit. You can't keep cramming everything into your brain." He grunts but complies anyway, resting his head on your shoulder while Jim and Dwight plan Kelly's birthday. It's more background noise, really, as your focus is more on him instead of their on-screen antics. You hear his breathing slow down and his eyelids flutter shut. You tread your hands through his soft hair, knowing that it always helps lull him to sleep.

Soon enough, you notice how you're synchronizing your breathing to his. It amuses you at first, but a bolt of fear strikes your entire body. This time next year - heck, in just a few months, actually - you wouldn't have the chance to do this. Yes, you weren't going that far - Canada was literally the next country. But it was still a 6-hour flight, and it was still a 3-hour time difference. And it's not like you could come over every so often or expect him to - that would create a huge dent in the already little savings you had. Could these moments be your last with Ted for at least the next 4 years? Your glossy eyes turn to Ted's stoic sleeping face.

Maybe you'll allow yourself to be brave just this once.

Slowly shifting yourself to face him, you bring yourself closer. Your mouth ghosts his, your breath fanning over his skin. You stay that way for a few heartbeats, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. You inch in closer and closer until your lips brush over his...

And that's when you feel his hands frame your cheeks, his face crashing into yours. Your brain doesn't absorb the shock of him not only being awake but also kissing you back at first but caution is thrown into the winds as you pull him closer. Soon your back hits the sofa below and he's over you, desperate to reach each and every crevice of your mouth. You tilt your face to allow him to get deeper, hands over his to hold him in place because you were scared he was going to pull away. His glasses knock into your face but neither of you seems to notice.

When Ted closed his eyes, he expected to wake up to the sight of Dwight taping up half-deflated balloons to the ceiling - not the most beautiful woman in the world kissing him. And really, what could he have done except kiss back with triple the fierceness? He loves how your lips mold against his perfectly, his tongue running against your bottom one to make you open up even more, eliciting a moan from the depths of your throat.

You don't know how long has passed when you break away, a long strand of saliva connecting your bruised lips. His hands fall to your waist, his face nuzzling your neck. You revel in his glow, reminding yourself that it wouldn't be long before you'd have to give him up. You couldn't handle a distance of 3000 km, and he didn't deserve that either. You should not have done this. You start tearing up, feeling as if the walls are closing in around you, popping the bubble surrounding the both of you.

Out of nowhere, Ted feels a wetness on his cheek. "What the - Y/N, are you okay? What happened?" You gently nudge him off your body, wiping the tears from your face.

"Nothing, I'm fine. You should go sleep, you have an exam soon." You say, turning around and making your way to your room without waiting for a reply. You still can't believe that you left him confused and heartbroken on the couch from something you had done to him. That night had been the worst of your life.

Exam season came and went, neither of you bringing up what happened and in all honesty, you tried avoiding him just as much as you could. The system you had built was working relatively well, you would only see him in the morning right before the both of you left for your exams. You'd leave leftovers for him in the fridge with a brief note taped on his fridge, but that's where your contact stopped. Every so often, when you were getting ready in the morning, you'd see him from the corner of your eye trying to reach out to you opening his mouth as if he was going to say something.

But he never did.

You started packing up your room the day you were done with your exams. You'd turned down a celebratory night out with your friends, feeling the need to leave as soon as you could. What use was staying here anyway? No, now was the time to shove your belongings in boxes and start arranging your flight back home, arriving much earlier than expected. It wasn't a permanent solution since Ted lived right next to you, but it would work for now.

That's how Ted found you just over an hour later. By that point, your room was mostly bare save for some of your essentials sitting out on your desk. He had just returned home, about to use the washroom when he heard some weird shuffling from the direction of your bedroom. A bit alarmed, he rushed to you, only to see you stacking your suitcases on top of each other. You stop in your tracks when you see him, expecting him to be gone for at least another two hours. "Oh. Hey."

"Hi...? What's going on?"

"Uh, I'm going back home for a bit. Probably the day after tomorrow."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you're not staying for graduation? It's only two weeks from now."

"Yeah, but that's not really important to me." He clenches his jaw.

"Well, I suppose you would want to spend as much time with your parents before you go."

"Sure, yeah." You lie through your teeth. He was right, of course, but that wasn't the reason why. "How long are you here for?"

"A little after graduation, I think. Have a few job positions available, I'll need to go check them out."

"Oh, makes sense."

The conversation comes from a standpoint. Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you fiddle with your suitcase. "Y/N," He begins, sucking in a deep breath.

"Yes?" You say, biting your lip.

"Could you wait for me before you go? We could just, like, hang out?" He says nervously.

Oh god.

"Of course, Ted." You say unsure of what would come of the promise.

"Thank you." He adds, relieved.

Just as he's about to leave, you call out for him. "I don't know if I'm going to see you tomorrow, so, um. Bye. For now." If only he knew the true intent of those words.

He looks at you skeptically but returns the sentiment anyway. "Bye, Y/N."

True to your word, you didn't see Ted the next day, finally being dragged out of your cocoon by your other friends. You didn't see him the day of your flight either, not really knowing where he was. Once you'd lugged all your belongings outside, you paused to look over the apartment. A deep sadness instills within you - this was the place where Ted and you had spent the last 4 years of your life. He'd coached you through several panic attacks on that very table, you had spent hours behind that stove cooking whatever your heart desired, and the picture of the both of you still hung over the crack in the wall that came with the place. That sofa was the same place the both of you slumped over after a hard day to catch up on whatever you were watching and, very recently, where you'd both shared a brain-melting kiss.

You shake your head of these thoughts, it was time to move on. You had just been accepted into your dream school, why were you acting like your entire life was ending? Previously, you'd contemplated leaving him a note, but that didn't feel necessary anymore. You'd already said what you needed to say that night.

Wrapping your hands around the door handle, you say goodbye to the place one last time before locking it shut. As you load everything onto the small elevator, you hope that goodbye extends to Ted too.

The next two weeks have you fall into a pattern. You'd wake up and have breakfast with your parents before tagging along with either of them on any errands they needed to do. Sometimes that meant going with your mom to the grocery store or helping your mama in the soup kitchen a few streets away. Your days were dedicated to spending time with them, but your nights were left empty. It was really a matter of time before Ted occupied your mind during those times. You'd wake up and fall asleep to memories of him;- your best friend, your crush, your rock. The thought has you laughing. Despite the last 20 years of being friends, this was the legacy he'd left on you - and you had no one but yourself to blame. Funny how life works sometimes.

The day before you left, the Shacklefords came over to see you. You'd seen them at various points since you'd been back but this was the first time all of you were settling down in a room together. You didn't mind, these people were literally your second set of parents. The 5 of you discussed various topics over dinner; how your decision was so unexpected, how they would support you no matter what, how your brother was doing, if their other kids were coming for Ted's graduation party, etc.

"Oh yeah, how was the graduation by the way?" Your mama says. "Y/N robbed us of attending it," she adds, giggling.

"It went fine - it was pretty emotional to see our youngest reach such a milestone. We are really starting to feel the empty nest now." Ted's dad replies, smiling. "But Ted didn't seem to share the sentiment."

"Really? He looked pretty happy in his photos." Your mom questions.

"Yeah, he was pretty glum throughout it all. Those pictures I sent you were the best ones of the bunch. To be fair, I would be too if my best friend wasn't there with me." His mom says teasingly. You force a smile.

The conversation continues to flow around you but you let yourself simmer in that comment. No one except your parents knew that you were leaving tomorrow; they were extremely confused by your request but promised to not tell. His mom's remark was meant all in good jest, but now you're terrified of her reaction to the news that you left before saying a proper goodbye to her son. It would be fair, you felt like a horrible person, but you were not prepared for anything otherwise.

The next morning, your moms dropped you off at the airport. They both took turns kissing you on the cheek, helping you load your luggage onto a trolley before waving you off, promising to visit you once you'd found an apartment and settled in. You hug them and go to catch your flight, leaving a piece of your heart with them. Ted may have been your number one supporter, but those two had been with you through literally everything and you'd probably miss them the most when you're abroad.

An hour or so later you're done checking in, and you decide to spend some time window-shopping in the Duty-Free section. You didn't need anything, your mama had made sure of that while you were packing, plus everything was too expensive anyway. No, you just wanted to browse - at least, until, you'd noticed a pile of cute Julius the Monkey plushies in the corner of the shop. Okay, maybe you'd let yourself buy one thing. It could be a companion for this new scary stretch of your life.

You pick one up, fondly looking over the details on its plush body. Ted did very briefly have a Paul Frank obsession, you remember. He would've loved to have this. You miss him so much.

Suddenly, a hand reaches out to grab your shoulder. You jolt in surprise as you turn back, Julius falling from your hands in the process. "Sorry! Let me grab that for you," a wide-eyed and flustered Ted bends down before you, picking up the doll. He offers it to you, but you skip over it.

"What are you doing here?" You exclaim in shock. "Weren't you supposed to arrive in a week or something?"

"I got an offer I couldn't turn down, so I decided to come home early and surprise my parents. But I could ask you the same thing, Y/N. You said you were going to wait for me." He replies in an exhausted voice. You eye him. He looked a bit sleep-deprived, his messy hair poking out of his hoodie. A large suitcase stands next to him, adorned by his neck pillow. It must've been a rough flight.

You were cornered. "I, um, have to go. The announcement lady just mentioned my flight."

He stops you, spotting your lie. "Unless you're flying to Germany, I suggest you explain yourself." He replies in a firm tone.

Clenching your jaw, your eyes fall to the floor. You had caused all of this just because you couldn't keep your freaking lips to yourself. You deserved this moment of humiliation. "I'm sorry."

"You can't kiss me one day and then disregard our decades of friendship by running away, Y/N. What's going on?"

"That kiss was a mistake." You say, literal garbage falling out of your mouth. Was it something you regret? Yes, but it wasn't a mistake. "I did it in a moment of foolishness and I wish I didn't."

This catches him off guard. "No, it wasn't. You would have t-"

Gathering up all your courage, you stare into his eyes. "Don't make something out of nothing." Wow, now you were deflecting. Perfect. You sense anger building within him and realize you should probably step away while you still can. You grab your carry-on, about to turn away when he says something.

"I can tell when you're lying, Y/N."

You chose to not reply to that comment. "Goodbye, Ted. I wish the absolute best for you, congrats on the new job." At least that was wholehearted. You walk away, leaving Ted behind in that overpriced Duty-Free shop still clutching onto the Julius plushie as if it'll abandon him like you just did.

He purchased it in the hopes that you'd return back to him.

And there it was. The truth is all out in the open.

"You should know, Ted, I would do things completely differently now. I am so, so sorry. I never should have done that to you, it was stupid, I was a fucking coward-"

Ted's hands encase yours, and for the first time in 6 years, you feel like you're going to be okay. "No, you were completely right to feel those things, Y/N. God, if I had stopped being so hardheaded and realized why you became so closed-off, we wouldn't have missed so much time together."

"No, it's my fault." You say, gripping his hands tightly. "Don't you dare blame yourself. It was me - I made everything worse. I should have been more upfront with my fears. I shouldn't have lied to you." You cup his face, resting his forehead against yours.

"I would've flown there if you'd asked me to." He confesses, his voice a decibel over a whisper.

"I knew you would have, but I couldn't expect something of that scale from you." You reply. "You deserved to live your own life."

"When will you realize that you are my lifeline?"

"Fuck, don't say that... in some cruel and fucked up way, I'm kind of glad it worked out. I mean, think about it. You wouldn't have gotten George or this gigantic office!" You leave the warmth of his embrace, widening your arms to emphasize its size. He snickers, acknowledging that you have a point.

You spot something from the corner of your eye. Your hands reluctantly left their position and you reach to pick up a book lying next to you. Following your line of vision, Ted watches as you pick up and rotate the book in your hands. "Oh no, that's George's favorite nighttime story. He probably got it to read with Charkie but left it behind." He says, worriedly. He sees in your eyes, though, that that's not what intrigued you.

"You kept it? The book I gave you?" You say, staring at him with the rawest emotions anyone could ever see. There it was; the same look you'd given him when you'd fallen off the bike.

"It's you, chowder." He says, returning the stare. "It's always been you."

In a split second, you push your lips against his. You move the book aside and find your spot on the back of his head, playing with his hair. His travels further down your back until they meet your ass, caressing your cheeks and tugging them to be closer to him. This. This is what bliss felt like.

His mouth explores your tavern as if his only goal is to go deeper and deeper until you were one. It feels like the air is being sucked out of you in the absolute best way possible, melting into him just as you did that day 6 years ago.

Then, you feel something meaty poking your leg. Your eyes flow open in surprise and it takes you a few seconds to realize what it is.

"Are you hard?" You say as you pull apart. He squeaks, looking down and turning red and you stifle a laugh.

"I'm sorry, this isn't- oh my god, this is so embarrassing," he panics. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I swear this wasn't my plan, maybe if we just wait a bit-"

"Ted," you caress his face and he immediately hushes. "It's okay. Honestly, it's kind of hot to know you're pining for me down there."

"Still, the girl of my dreams is finally back in arms-" your heart flutters. "-and this is how my body decides to react. Ugh. We could wait for it to go back down; or if you're uncomfortable having it around I could go to the bathroom and, um, take care of it?"

You bite your lip as you see the outline of his bulge and he instinctively covers it with both hands. "We could do that, but I am open to other options." His eyes widen as he realizes the implications of your words. "Only if you are as well, though." You add, quickly.

"...I'm open to it too," he reveals, and your smile widens.

Taking your chance, you smash your lips against his again before flipping your positions. Your fingers snake down to the buckle of his belt and you impatiently try to remove it, eventually being successful. Once it's off, you quickly discard his pants in the same way. Smirking into the kiss, you run your fingers over the erect tent in his boxers.

You pull away only to press more kisses onto his neck, making your way downwards to his nether region. He lets out a moan when you wrap your lips around his nipple and suck, and the sound sends a fresh wave of arousal through your body.

His flushed face scrunched up in pleasure, your saliva coating his lips, his bare chest dotted with sweat. The sight was simply erotic.

Your fingers slip into his waistband as your lips continue traveling downwards. You tug his boxers off and his member almost pokes you in the eyes.

My god, how was he hiding this in those tight pants? It was curved, veiny and thick. The angry, swollen red tip begged for some relief and your hands reached out to grab it in your hands. You felt drool escape from the side of your mouth as you realize your hands don't even wrap around properly. Your eyes shift to his. "I have to be honest," you say anxiously, rubbing circles on his slit with your thumb. "I don't know if you'll fit."

Those words were enough to send another shiver through his already overstimulated body. "You should know, I haven't really - um - done this before."

Your movements freeze. "What?"

"I'm still a virgin." He says, and your lack of reply sends him into a spiral of panic. "I'm sorry, is that a turn-off? I just never really thought about it that much. I'm so sorry-"

"What the fuck are you sorry for?" You startle him. "I'm sorry for literally everyone else in the world! Have you been hiding this monster in your pants for 28 years?" You grip the tip tightly once more, earning a groan from him.

"To think that I will be the first person to bring you an orgasm, to see how your eyes roll to the back of your head as you ride out your high... fuck, do you not know how hot that is? Holy shit, I cannot wait to feel you inside me."

Wasting no time for his reply, you pop his leaking tip into your mouth and roll your tongue over it. The whimpers he makes fuel you as your hands cup his balls. You bob your head, trying to fit him inside one inch at a time.

You see his palm quickly clamp over his mouth, amusing you immensely. "Moan as loud as you want, pretty boy. What are they going to do, walk in?" You laugh, unlatching from his cock for a bit before diving right back in.

He heeds your advice, letting out the most satisfying moans you've ever heard as he tangles his fingers in your hair. He gently pushes you closer and closer to him until your nose touches his pelvis. Is this what he'd been missing out on for his entire life? If only he could turn back time and slap himself across the face.

Your tongue only gets needier and needier, desperate to taste all of him all at once. You use it to trace his bulging veins, feeling him twitch as you do so. Your hands leave his balls to slip in between your own legs and you rub your clit in the same rhythm as you suck him.

Maybe the sight of you playing with yourself should've been enough to push him over the edge; but it's only when he makes contact with your hazy eyes that causes him to buck into your mouth and finally give you what you wanted, his essence running down your throat as you swallow. "Fuck," he says, surprising you by swearing. "You're a goddess." He says in his post-orgasmic bliss.

You wipe any remnants off your lips with the back of your hand and laugh. "That's my name, Teddy. Don't wear it out." Then you clamber onto his lap and meet his lips once again. He grins sheepishly when he tastes him in you, but that grin quickly turns into a moan as you grind down on him. He's tempted to let you bounce on him till he spills himself all over you, but he knew he wanted you to experience your own orgasm.

"Y/N," he shyly says. "Can I eat you out?"

You weren't expecting that, but who were you to refuse? "Yes, please!"

Placing his hands underneath your buttcheeks, he lifts you into the air - damn, has he been working out? His biceps are so hot - and awkwardly shuffles to the desk. He places you on the desk, albeit in the wrong spot as you end up having to scoot up a bit for fear of falling off - but with a man like Ted molding into putty in your hands, how could you care?

He fumbles to remove your shirt, his eyes darkening once he sees the glow of your breasts in the moonlight. You unclasped your bra and tossed it away without a care in the world, discarding your pants in the same manner. You feel exposed, desperately wanting to blow his expectations out of the water but secretly being afraid that you're not capable of it.

You see his breath hitch in his throat as he gazes at you lustfully, clad in nothing save for a pair of soaked panties. He reaches forward and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips, moving downwards to your chin, then the length of your exposed neck before settling on the center of your collarbones. You tingle with delight - only Ted could be so seductive in an endearing manner.

He wraps his pillowy lips around your nipple, one hand playing with your other breast. He's a bit rough at first but eases his force when he observes how you jolt up. His teeth graze your skin and you mewl.

He leaves your nipple and gets himself level with your clothed pussy. When you feel his nose digs into your clit, you instinctually gasp and wrap your legs around his head. You feel fucking powerful for a second, knowing you're suffocating him with nothing but you. You might just climax on the spot.

The feeling is interrupted when he pries your legs open. "Slow down, chowder, we have all night - and, err, next morning."

Just when you're about to reply with a giggle and call him cute, he pulls your panty to the side. He latches his mouth around your clit, giving it some experimental licks before deciding he was doing well when he hears you suck in your breath. He sucks on it like his life depends on it, teeth grazing ever so gently over your sensitive core. One hand keeps your legs apart so he could have access to more of you, while his other runs itself along your slit. When his fingers are sufficiently coated in your slick, he finally plunges inside with two digits.

The loud moan you let out makes his cock twitch.

His fingers repeatedly thrust into you, making a come-hither motion each time. It was really just a matter of time before he found your g-spot, instantly making you reach up and grope your breast.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck!" You curse, and you feel his lips twisting into a smirk as he keeps sucking the life out of you. When he feels you tightening as you near your precipice, he takes it as a sign to switch his position. You feel a warm, wet appendage poking your quivering hole, audibly gasping His tongue travels around the perimeter at first, but then they replace his fingers when it snakes inside of you - twisting, turning and plunging into you.

In just a few seconds your vision goes blurry and you wrap your thighs around his face again as you climax around his tongue. "Holy shit!"

He cheekily rises from where he was sitting, his mouth streaked with evidence of your orgasm. His breath catches in his throat when he sees the mess you're in. "Not bad for a first timer, huh?" You giggle exasperatedly, trying to catch your breath.

You were the definition of lewd at this moment; sweat highlighting the curve of your breasts.

"See something you like?" You joke, propping yourself in elbows.

"I love you."

"...what?"

"Sorry, sorry! I did not mean to say that! Forget what I said."

"Ted."

He sucks in a deep breath. "Maybe it's seeing you after so long but - I can't. I can't let you slip away again. I want to be with you, Y/N, you're it for me." He says, caressing your face and using his thumbs to wipe the tears welling in your eyes. "Stay with me." He hums, kissing your nose.

"You don't-" you start, holding onto his arms. Ted feels uncertain of what you're going to say. "You don't tell that to someone after you've given them an earth-shattering orgasm, you doof!" You exclaim, chuckling.

He feels like he can breathe again. "Reciprocate my love, woman." He says, pouting.

You pull him in for a hug tightly, never wanting to let go. His arm snakes around your back and holds you in place, his nose nuzzling into the base of your neck. "I love you too." You finally say. "It's definitely going to be an adjustment. I've only been back for two weeks, you have a monkey, I don't even have a place yet - but that doesn't matter. I love you so, so much. Letting you go was the worst decision I ever made, and I'll be damned if I let it happen again."

You're pulled into a kiss. This one is different though; not based on hunger or desire as before but rather passion. It feels like an ice cube spreading over your bruised lips. He breaks apart, resting his forehead on yours. "Soul meets soul on lover's lips." He quotes.

"Ugh, you haven't changed one bit, you nerd." You remark, rolling your eyes half heartedly as you recognize the line as one of Percy Shelly's. He shrugs shamelessly, elated that you remembered.

He gently lays you down on the desk once more, being careful to not crush you as his hands wrap around his dick and he strokes himself. He pulls away, slowly, leaning over to your ear.

"Think I can give you another 'earth-shattering' orgasm?" He smugly says, his sticky fingers gripping onto your hip.

"I might just die if you don't."

He blushes before slowly pulling your cum-soaked panties down, slipping them past your legs. God, the sight of your battered pussy was so lewd, but an essential detail registers in his head. "Y/N," he says, scratching the back of his head. "I don't have a condom."

That snaps you out of your trance. "Ugh, I completely forgot." You reply, annoyed. "I have an IUD, but I haven't been with anyone for a while. If you still want to continue, then I'm up for it too." You say nervously.

He bends down to kiss your nose again. "I trust you."

You reach out for his member, rubbing it against your folds with your slick making it seem so effortless. The pretty moan he lets out only edges you on - he had you wrapped around his gorgeous long fingers, didn't he?

He writhes in your grasp, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips leaving crescent-shaped marks that you prayed would remain. "Shit, shit, shit!" He exclaims.

His swearing really shouldn't be making you weak in the knees, but damn it all to hell.

"God, I can't wait to take you apart every single day." You say. "Crumbling before my very eyes. Fuck, I can't wait to be wrapped around you."

"Then what are you waiting for?" He pants irritatedly, arms placed on each side of your head.

"As you wish, pretty boy." You reach out for his hand to plant a kiss on his fingers. Finally, you align his head with your entrance and lace your legs around his waist. "I can't believe I'm finally making you mine."

He cups your face. "Chowder, I've always been yours."

And with that, you push him inside with your legs. The first stretch is uncomfortable due to his sheer size and girth, but that couldn't matter less. You were more focused on how his head rolled back and the loud groan that escapes his throat - possibly the most erotic sound you've ever heard.

It was like he'd lived in black and white before this, and all of a sudden there was an explosion of color and he was drowning in you, you only you-

"Holy crap, Y/N." He pants. "You're so tight and warm and- fuck."

"You're becoming quite the potty-mouth." You giggle.

"Hush, woman. You and your pussy are going to be the death of me someday." He says, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You stroke his wet hair, grinning. "That's the plan."

"Brat."

"Yours truly."

"At least you got one thing correct." He says, leaning in to kiss your lips. The inadvertent thrust that came with it causes you to let out a gasp, and you're starting to be weary of if you can survive being impaled by his monster dick.

Luckily your thoughts are silenced when his hips start to move; it starts slow as he adjusts to you, but he picks up his pace, pounding into you.

"Ted! Fuck - more!" You scream. Watching his cock disappear into you - seeing where you started and he began - it felt like he had no choice but to comply with your words.

Rolling his hips against yours, he diverts the attention of his mouth onto your exposed neck, pressing wet kisses along before harshly biting and sucking on your skin. It hurts - not unbearably so, but you still make a point to give him a hickey to show how it was done later on.

Wanting more of him, you slowly lift your hips and match his pace. "Holy fucking shit, your dick is skewering me alive." You cry, hands going to play with your clit. You see his face scrunch up at the image, which amuses you to no end.

Above you, Ted chases the warmth of your pussy. The sound of skin on skin makes him feel delirious, getting turned on by the mere thought of your fluids intermingling and leaving a mess on the space he has to work on.

He catches your lips with him, slowly feeling the coil tightening in his lower abdomen. Your pert nipples drag over his chest, sending tingles all over him. Between your pretty little moans, your tight hole sucking his cock in and the sight of your slick-covered fingers rubbing figure-8s around your clit, he knew he had no chance.

Soon he starts seeing white spots in his vision and something starting to unravel in his lower abdomen. "Y/N, I think I'm close. Where should I - um -"

"Inside, please." You say, panting.

And just like that, his hips still and he comes undone.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He was a fucking vision - you wanted the sight imprinted on the back of your eyelids. His thick eyebrows knitted together as his eyes closed shut, his lower lip falling under his teeth as his stomach caved in and of itself. His thick, warm seed shot into your pussy in uncontrollable spurts, stuffing you beyond your wildest dreams.

"Fuck, I love you so much." You say unabashedly, feeling his essence dribble out of you slowly. He chuckles lightly, struggling to catch his breath. "Can I ride you? I'm almost there."

He nods his head excitedly before flipping the both of you so you were on top, your palms planted firmly against his chest as you straddle him. You waste no time in moving your hips and he seems all too happy to let you take over, watching your actions through his lidded eyes. You create a fast but deep pace, the sound of him fucking through his own cum pushing you even closer to your end. "So good for me, love." You praise him as he mewls beneath you. "So perfect."

You slump backward, allowing you to grind against his cock more as his head smashes into your cervix. His fingers vigorously rub your clit, making you wail. "Don't stop, oh my god, fucckk!"

He bucks his hips into you, desperate to see you crumble in front of him again. "God, I must be the luckiest man alive," he eggs you on as you swirl your hips. You clench your walls, the friction bringing him to his edge once more.

"Ted..." you whimper. Looking into your glassy eyes, he understands.

"I'm close again, love," he grunts. "Cum with me."

"Fuck - I love you, I love you I love you I love you-" you chant frantically. With one final thrust, your orgasm overtakes you with such force that your vision blanks out. Your hips stutter as you fall onto him, gushing around his length as his cum paints your walls again.

He brings his lips to yours, kissing you amid your choked sobs of pleasure. You stay in that position for some time, with his bulky arms wrapping around you and his softening dick plugging his cum inside you.

Moments pass as you lay on his chest, listening in for his heartbeat as it slowly calms. "That was amazing." You say, breaking the silence.

"I don't think I could ever go back to my hand again." He sighs as you laugh. "Don't you need to go pee or something?" He says, brushing his fingers through your sweaty hair.

"I don't want to leave our bubble." You pout.

He kisses your forehead. "Well, we have forever, don't we?" You smile. "We can manage maybe a few seconds apart."

"Ugh, fine." You say, slipping him out of you as you wobbly walk to his attached bathroom. He watches himself slowly leak down your thighs, licking his lips contently. If he wasn't completely spent, he'd probably take you up against the wall right now and add another load to the stash. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

He wipes off the mess you made as much as he can before arranging the pullout couch more comfortably. He waits for you, immediately reaching out to your warm body once you're out of the washroom.

He falls asleep tucked up in your arms, and as you listen as he softly snores you realize that this is the most at home you've felt since you left 6 years ago.

"I'm glad to hear he had a good time," Ted says onto the speakerphone as he ties his tie. "We're still trapped but it shouldn't be too long now. Thank you for taking care of him, Margaret, it's lucky this sleepover was scheduled when it was."

Ted was the first to wake up this morning, but you soon followed when you felt his tongue lapping at your folds. After another dalliance in the hay, you watch as he dresses while calling Charkie's house to make sure George was okay. Once he talks to him and promises to take him to the playground today, he hangs up.

You smirk as he bends down to pick up his belt, your eyes training in on his round ass. "You know, I've always loved your butt. You should bend over more, it's my biggest vice."

He turns to you, rolling his eyes in amusement. "Shouldn't you start getting ready? They could barge in any time now."

"I would, but I think you've broken me, Shackleford."

"Don't be so dramatic, chowder. Here, I'll help you."

Once you're dressed and have fixed your hair (to an extent), you place yourself on Ted's lap and overlook the view from his window. "We live right about there," he points to a tall yellow building in the distance, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Ours is the one with the garden on the balcony. Speaking of, remind me to water the plants as soon as we get back."

"Dang, if I wasn't too busy bouncing on your dick we could've seen it at night."

He groans. "Don't talk like you didn't enjoy cumming all over my de-"

All of a sudden you hear the scraping of a key being inserted into the door. Ted swivels the both of you around to meet a maintenance worker and Dr. Einstein. "Heard you kids got locked up yesterday. Ted, you really oughta get this whole system replaced." He says, eyeing the two of you. "Glad it worked out, though." He shamelessly adds.

You cough. "Of course, I'll get a locksmith up here immediately Professor Einstein. Thank you for letting us out, Jerry." Ted rambles, blushing.

The man only nods his head and leaves, unfazed and unbothered. Professor Einstein, on the other hand, lingers for a bit more. "You should take the day off, Shackleford. Maybe get a shower, or touch some grass." He says, before walking away, humming to himself.

"That... was the most embarrassing thing I've been through." He says, dumbfounded.

"Get used to it, sweets." You laugh, picking yourself off as best as you could. "I think I want you to fuck me against this huge window, let everyone see how much I love your dick."

"Jesus, Y/N, I didn't expect you to be such a pottymouth." He replies, shocked, getting up to embrace you again.

"Speak for yourself;- did you hear the shit you were saying last night?"

"I really hope you don't influence George to be just as crude."

"Um, wow. Have some faith in me."

He kisses your forehead, pulling you closer. A warm silence ensues.

"I don't want you to go. You just got back." He whispers.

"I don't want to leave." You mumble, hiding your face in his chest, inhaling his scent. He always gave the best hugs; the ones where you melt right into him.

"I take back what I said about being apart for a few seconds. I want to be with you 24/7." He groans. How did you get so lucky?

"The Pisghetti's are expecting me at 10, right before the lunch shift. Maybe you should tag along? I don't think they'd mind. Actually, it'd help us if anything."

"Well, Professor Einstein did basically tell to me take a day off, and we do still have nearly 3 hours before you're expected. How about we freshen up at our apartment?"

That's how you find yourself curled up around him as he pounds into you in his tub, your 15-minute bath turning into 35. After the stickiness between your legs is washed off (and a sex-crazed Ted is satiated), you quickly rush to get ready, despite knowing that the Pisghetti's are immediately going to know if something is up when they notice you wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Oh well.

The pair of you pick George up from Charkie's, who only live the next block over. Margaret, the sweet dog's kind owner, is delighted to be introduced to you and offers tea, but you regrettably take a rain check. George on the other hand is surprised to see the man with the yellow hat's fingers intertwined around yours but accepts it happily, even climbing to your shoulders as you make the walk to the Pisghetti's.

Safe to say the Chef and Netti didn't expect to see the both of you together, but they don't make a big deal of it. George plays with Gnocchi as the four of you discussed the final adjustments for the meals in the kitchen.

You try your hardest - you swear you do. But every so often Ted's hands hover over yours and it's goddamn hard to not run your fingers over his soft palms. This doesn't go unnoticed by Netti, but she doesn't say anything. She'll squeeze it out of you on Monday, you suppose, judging by how the corner of her lips turn up every time she spots it.

By the time it rolls around to 11:30, you start preparing for your lunch shift. "I wish I could stay, but I did promise to take George to the playground. And I think the Chef wouldn't like me hogging space for potential customers anyway." Ted pouts. "Should I pick you up after your shift? You can have dinner with us - I'll cook." He offers enthusiastically.

"That sounds good! I do have one request; can we drop by my hotel? I really need a fresh set of clothes, and also make sure the staff doesn't think I died or something."

He kisses you briefly but passionately. "Consider it a plan. See you in a few hours, chowder. I love you." With that promise, he reluctantly leaves.

That night, as you're sleeping and sprawled over him, belly full of lasagna and hands holding onto a rather flat plush of Julius the monkey, Ted makes the realization that he has two sources of snores to drown his spiraling thoughts in.

This time, it's enough.

He sleeps contently, tucked in your arms like he hopes to be for the rest of his life with his beloved (and live) monkey just a few paces away.

"Passport?"

"Check."

"Wallet?"

"Check."

"Suitcase and backpack?"

"Check."

"List of Canadian snacks George wants to try?"

"Check! That should be it."

"You are missing one thing." Ted gives you a grave face.

You nervously think back to what could be missing. "What is it?"

"A goodbye kiss for me, hello?" He says, puckering his lips like an idiot in the middle of the bustling crowd around you.

You roll your eyes before planting a big fat wet kiss on his lips. Even Ted wasn't expecting to drop you at the airport today. Heck, he'd actually been trying to avoid flying; partly because it brought a whole list of complications because of George being classified as a primate but also because every time he'd step in one memory of you leaving would rush back into his brain, leaving him a grumpy old mess. He'd even completely skipped over the Duty-Free sections every time he did have to go somewhere.

There was also another reason;- the gala was tomorrow, and dropping you off was already taking a chunk of precious time that could've gone into overseeing the preparations. Obviously, Ted didn't mind - Professor Wiseman was more than capable of being in charge for an hour - but this event was important to him. It was the biggest he'd thrown in his entire career, plus, it had somewhat brought you to him. He was next to you, yes, but he'd be lying if he said a part of him wasn't worrying about the exhibit in the back of his mind.

Of course, you didn't mind. Truth be told, your mind was also a bit preoccupied with the gala - specifically the food. Most of the work was done, Netti and the Chef only had to fix it up to look more presentable. Still, if it hadn't been for your lease expiring soon you would've extended your stay by at least one more day.

You brush these thoughts aside as you give Ted one final hug. "Is it too late to stuff you in my suitcase and carry you with me?" You ask.

"Unfortunately, yes, chowder." He says, kissing the top of your head. "Though... I wouldn't mind being stuffed somewhere else." He says, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

You hit his arm. "Oh my god, give my pussy a break. I'm going now." You whine, turning away from him.

He snickers, stopping you from leaving. "Okay, okay, calm down. Just one more kiss and I promise I'll let you go." He says before bending down and capturing your lips in his. You stay like that for a while before you begrudgingly pull away.

"See you in a few days. Tell George I'll miss him. I love you!" you grin before walking away to the check-in station, waving as you do so.

"I love you too," Ted replies. He watches as you disappear into the crowd, just as you did that day 6 years ago, but he reminds himself that this time is different. You'd be back. And very soon.

With that in mind, he turns back to head to the museum again.

Someone snaps him out of his trance. "You're up in 5, boss."

"Thanks, Andie." Ted acknowledges, flickering through his opening speech again. This wasn't the first time he'd given one but they were very nerve-wracking either way for an introvert. Dressed in an all-black suit for the first time in 2 years, he only wishes you were here to see him. You'd been trying to push him out of that yellow suit for a while now.

Adjusting his tie, he devotes one more second (okay, maybe a bit more) to thinking of you before making his way to the stage stairs. The MC for the evening, a guy by the name of William H. Macy, introduces him - and soon he's facing a room of 500 people with a mic in front of him. He hopes all that practicing with you and George paid off.

"Distinguished guests, it is my honor to unveil the new Invention of Cooking exhibit to you tonight on behalf of The Metropolitan Museum of Arts." A round of applause ensues as Ted searches the crowd for familiar faces so that he could feel a bit more relaxed. "We'd love to extend our warmest welcomes to each and every single one of you. People from every corner of the earth have flown in just to attend this event; food bloggers, world-famous chefs, historians of different specialties, and so forth. A diverse palette of company, really - but all of us, including me, are united by one thing." He pauses to draw the audience in. "None of us know what I'm going to say!"

That earns a cackle from the horde, the most distinct being George. That soothes his nerves, but it's hard to spot the monkey with all these bright lights flashing in his face. "Plans for this new extension date back to several years ago, so seeing everyone stand in it is a very special moment for all of us who have been dedicatedly working on it. We hope that you enjoy immersing yourself in how cooking evolved from the discovery of fire to the stage it's at now." His eyes adjust to the darkness a bit, and he notices George cheekily smiling at him about 50 feet away. He was on someone's head - who was that? "But please do make sure to try out the assortment of appetizers and courses that are sure to give you a taste of New York." He continues, squinting to seek out who George was on but trying to not make it too obvious. It seems like they were walking toward the stage. "They have been prepared by our very own Chef Pisghetti, his wife Netti, and my partner, Y/N L/N, who unfor-" George's mysterious booster seat finally comes to light, and Ted makes eye contact with you.

He coughs, dumbfounded, but picks his jaw up from the floor quickly. This was a professional event, the show must go on. "Who have all devoted the last few weeks of their life making sure everyone in this room gets the best experience attainable. Uh, if you have any questions, feel free to direct them to any of our dedicated staff. Otherwise, have a wonderful evening!" He reaches the end of his speech, pausing for the applause before rushing downstairs to embrace you in his arms. George scurries away, picking up cues that this should be a more private affair. "Y/N - how'd you- Weren't you-" he excitedly queries as you pepper his face in kisses.

"I'll explain everything, can we go to your office though?"

"Sure. Wait, is something wrong?" "No, no! I just don't want to be with you, not surrounded by a bazillion people."

5 minutes later, you're back in his office and he has you wrapped in the tightest of hugs. "You weren't supposed to be back for at least three days - what happened?!"

"Don't scold me, but I chugged like 4 Red Bulls to pack up my entire apartment in under 12 hours. Honestly, you should have seen me. I think I set a world record, but anyway. I brought what I could - all the boxes are in the restaurant - but my friends are going to have to sell my couch and bed and blah blah. Whatever, doesn't matter, caught a flight and ran here." Ted gazes into your eyes. "What? Say something."

"You're crazy." He says, "Why would you do that?"

"You're crazy if you think I would have missed this for the world."

"God, I'm in love with a lunatic."

You beam. "Tell me something I don't know." He grabs you by your cheeks and smashes your lips together and you savor his taste. How did every kiss with him feel like it was the first? Your fingers card through his hair as you try to breathe him in. His tongue pressed between your lips to part them, slipping inside your mouth. You don't know how much time passes before you finally part, lips wet with spit.

"I am wholly and irrevocably in love with you." He confesses.

"Ditto." You teasingly smile.

"Ugh, I take it back."

"No! Don't!" You cry. "I love you too, so much. You are my forever, I couldn't imagine a life without you."

He bites back a cheeky grin, resting his head against yours. "Imagine being so cheesy."

"Watch it, mister, or I'll kick you to Mars."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course. We'll have to find a spacesuit for George, though. I doubt they make them monkey-sized. Speaking of suits, you look particularly ravishing tonight, Shackleford."

"I could say the same for you, chowder. Where were you hiding this little number?"

You twirl your dress for him. "Do you like it? Had to dig it out of the closet. Sorry, it's not exactly black tie,"

"Are you kidding? The only place this would look better is on the floor."

"Oh, really?" You smirk, turning and walking away from him.

He stares at you in confusion. "Uh, what're you doing?"

"You had them remove the auto-lock security feature thing, right?"

"Yeah, the day after we got stuck. Why?"

"Oops!" You say as you close the door shut and slide the bolt in place. "My hand slipped! Uh oh." He slowly catches on to your plan, a bulge already forming in his pants. You turn back to face him, a mischievous look on your face.

"Now, what happened to your promise of fucking me against your window?"

[nekobami]

Oh- it's just the other one.

They'll rent your house with u inside it and call you a dumbass

I just made it in some hours, very quickly just to- I dunno, maybe a profile pic?

OH ALSO, HAHAHAHA JERRICK TRAP'S OUT

Yay

I really wish I was talking about Jerrys and Ricks right now... Damn, my life is totally out of control

Anyway

I'll write some bot stuff and council stuff here, just to... Relax a bit

I missed writing a little longer posts

While I stopped drawing frequently I started to develop more the issue of the backstore and the context of Soft Bully's story

But... I ended up going too far. Like, I was very concerned about having an extremely well-constructed story full of stuff, and I ended up engaging some headcannons about the Council. Since they have a certain connection with my OCs, and are part of the context that I found. Speaking of the Council, MY GOD, what UNBEARABLE people.

I had to study the way they speak, see their participation and interactions all for my own instead of just copying and pasting some research that someone has already done, Do you know why?! BECAUSE NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE COUNCIL

AND IT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE, because not even I cared, and even now I don't want to admit that I care

They were all portrayed as shallow villains before the legendary Rick & Morty Presents: Council of Ricks. If it weren't for this comic they would be 100% headcannons that I casually pulled from the depths of my clinically insane mind. I mean these guys just did terrible stuff because there was power in their hands and they could do that. ALL BY CONVENIENCE

What im trying to say is: I do roleplay. Roleplay It's my life. I've already interacted with most of the Rick & Morty bots in character A.I., and I'm so greedy that if any of you have bots from your OCs, GIVE ME LINKS. I LOVE. I'll hug them, I'll make them pancakes and I'll give them hello kitty plushies.

Talking about the bot;

I've already rewrote my bots a few times.

When I started making them, I realized that the Council in particular had difficulty detaching itself from the example messages. He didn't show much of the Ricks' personality. However, after writing the model for each Rick, I noticed a big improvement.

To be able to make a bot that had a minimum of depth and coherence in the roleplay, I had to make the information dynamic, and I can say that even after everything I did about them, I didn't learn anything. I built the code base with another info that I had already built when I started creating bots and changed it to a model I saw on Tik Tok.

The original model I saw on TikTok looks something like this:

Char("name of the bot")

Age("set age" + "adicional info")

I realized that when programming a bot, you cannot use ":", or the bot will see this as a message to be memorized. I also discovered that the model is not mandatory and the bases are fully customizable, anyway you can make the information more dynamic to the bot organizing it in any way you want since it doesn't recognize it as a message.

So, instead of using the model for a single character for the bot, I separated the Ricks and described their traits.

Most of the code are headcannons... I mean, what can I do? It's instinct!

This is how Prime Rick's code looks like:

Prime Rick- council("hairstyle is shoved hair in the sides" + "curly hair" + "cut scar behind his neck" + "Show Leader-like traits, but is often overshadowed and sidelined by Rick IV's aggressive leadership" + "Serious, level-headed" + "He cares about others but has a lot of difficulty showing it" + "Prefers to define appropriately fair punishments rather than exaggerated ones" + "knows the cidatel is bad but feels like it's too late for it to change" + "Gets angry with offenses directed at himself but not the ones direct to his authority" + "Overall, he doesn't care much about it, he knows he's part of the Council and doesn't need to reaffirm it or deny it when someone says otherwise" + "Is confident, has the upper hand in flirt when alone with the one he love" + "Hides a relationship with Rick C-197 from the council.")

If the Council remains good as they're right now, I won't need to rewrite them. In this case, I'm going to apply the same method to fix one of my first bots: DJerry.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

This is an internet anthology. I am acting:

…

…

…

Looking back at my childhood and all the traumatic things that happened made me realize just how depressive my mom was. She smiled and laughed and said she was “happy,” sure… but I never saw her smile or laugh unless it was in front of other people; but behind closed doors, with just the two of us the mask came off. I was the only one who was allowed to see who she really was behind the disguise. She cried all the time. I could hear her through the walls at night when I went to sleep. Everything, everything was for show. She liked to make others think she had joy but she didn’t. She didn’t because she couldn’t feel it. Her depression was a crushing weight on the entire house and she made it everyone’s problem. All she wanted to do was feel worse and feed off of me so I could stay and listen to her rants forever in a vicious, codependent cycle. I didn’t know until now what the term for that was. Truly, discovering this community of people who were abused by depressive parents was a blessing. It helped me come to my senses and realize I was not the issue; it was her all along. Knowledge is power, everyone. ❤️

…

hiya could anyone give me advice pls its urgent

so i (16m) met this guy (17m) who ill call M in my economics class. we chatted for a little, he was suuuuper sweet and charming and we really had some kinda gay chemistry going on iykwim? so we went on a date at this cute Italian restaurant and the guy gives us our breadsticks. M just……. stared????? at them like stared at the breadsticks without even saying thank you and he looked kinda souless and it was fucking freaky but i ignored it because maybe he was just tired yk? we study alot so its not like super unrealistic to think that but now im starting to think it was a sign he wasnt right in the head. later on we hugged and kissed and he told me he loved me so my doubts went away cuz love and happiness go together. basically i wasnt worried anymore, were both happy right?

well after exchanging numbers to keep in touch i called him about five times and he never called me. its like i put in all the effort so i called him out for ignoring me and he apologized

anyways we made up and went on a 2nd date which was his idea. because i am sixteen i got my license after doing drivers ed, obvs i was really proud of it so i told him and he smiled saying he was happy for me but something was wrong. he was smiling but his eyes looked dead and it reminded me of that one tiktok about how depressives have dead eyes when they smile because they cant actually feel happy not even for other ppl. it was really creepy how he just lied to my face like that. he still never calls me, i always have to call him. its like he doesn’t care about life at all

any tips on how to politely get out of the relationship? thx

…

4 Signs Your Lover is a K!lljoy

1.) The eyes

Do you surprise your lover with gifts and acts of service, but they seem less than enthusiastic? Do they say they’re happy for you, but something in their face tells you they’re not? Do they never seem to truly enjoy anything in life? Then blame the uncanny valley. Science shows that true, joyful smiles cause the corners of your eyes to crinkle. Since k!lljoys are completely incapable of feeling happiness, it makes sense that they don’t know how to smile without giving off some bad vibes in the process.

2.) They’re lazy

Some of the traits used to diagnose Major Depressive Disorder in the DSM-5 are: lack of motivation, excessive sleeping, and lethargy. These traits inherent to depression make k!lljoys far less productive than most normal people, so of course they expect others to do everything for them, because they care more about themselves than they do other people. Do you constantly find yourself doing all the household chores while your spouse vegetates on the couch? Do they say they’re too “tired” to do things when you know they’ve done nothing to make them tired? Chances are, your partner is depressive.

3.) They hate people

Lack of joy is highly correlated with social withdrawal. K!lljoys dislike parties and always hide in corners or bathrooms if they’re forced to go to one. They also never call you, you have to call them. You have to do all the work to maintain the relationship.

Low-functioning killjoys may lie in bed all day miserably, but high-functioning killjoys can blend in, and may even be more talkative so they can vent their problems to everyone. They do this so everyone else can feel as unhappy as they do. As the saying goes, misery loves company.

4.) They want to k!ll themselves

It’s in the name. K!lljoys may not say it outright, but they may joke about d34th or unaliving themselves at minor inconveniences. This is not normal behavior, and actually a sign of a severe case of depression.

This may be done for two reasons. The first is to guilt you to stay in the relationship because they’re afraid of being abandoned by their stress ball. You can tell if mentions of sewerslide are meant to guilt you if they are often followed by common manipulative phrases such as “you’re my reason for living” or “I’ll never leave you.” Or k1lljoys may be genuine about their desire to d*e, so that they can pass their sadness onto others while they are relieved of it, as a sort of twisted revenge.

You may feel guilty about leaving them or putting them in danger of carrying through with sewerslide, but remember: sewerslide is the ultimate act of selfishness. You are doing the right thing by leaving them because they are toxic and will only harm you, no matter how good it feels to love them. They don’t love you back. A k1lljoy cannot love you back.

…

hot take but if you’re so sad you cant even take care of yourself without leeching off people and hurting them then you should be sterilized so you don’t pass those genes onto your children and cause more suffering than you already have lol

#killjoy parents #depressive abuse #thanks for making me into a monster like you dad /s #depressives dni #i needed you dad I really really did and then you fucking shot yourself #and it didn’t even work so now you’re brain dead in a home #i hope no one else cares for you and gets hurt for it

…

So it’s come to my attention that there is a common misconception that depressives cannot feel joy. True, some of them don’t; but some of them do. What gives them joy? What most people find makes them happy: being treated like human beings and not like a they have evil suicide cootieshope this helps 🥰

#actually depressive #actual killjoy #you guys realize how eugenicist it is to demand depressed people be sterilized right? #we cannot control how much joy we feel #what we get is what we get and that doesn’t make us evil

…

hot take: being able to feel happy does not make you a good person

you can feel joy because you hurt people and you can use motivation to do bad things. you don’t need love to be a good person either. you can simply exist and not do bad things

#actually depressive #depressive abuse believers dni #imagine morals being based on emotions and not actions pfft

…

#imagine morals being based on emotions and not actions pfft

Imagine abusers wanting sympathy from the abused

Don’t act like you aren’t always negative about everything and try to level the emotional playing field so that everyone suffers don’t act like you haven’t been a burden to everyone you touch don’t act like you don’t post pictures of your bleeding cuts for minors to see and imitate dont act like you don’t romanticize your sick disorder to take others down with you don’t act like you don’t purposefully ignore your friends and loved ones for the sake of your alone time don’t act like you don’t drink to drown the sadness and become violent to your families don’t act like you aren’t cut from the same cloth as people who become terrorists and blow themselves up to kill many others

THOSE ARE ACTIONS

#depressives fuck off #depressives kill yourselves challenge #oh wait

…

I want to die so the ones who never held me close to their hearts may carry my coffin on their shoulders and tuck me into the ground like a down bed

#killjoy #sad bitch #its sad girl hours #depressive #sad girl aesthetic #coquette #tw sui ment #girlsandboywhocry #spilledink

…

yo i think my mom is a killjoy

#explains a lot tbh #never gets out and is unhealthily attached to me #the whole dead eyes thing

…

anyone ever stop to think that maybe the depression that I am experiencing in my own brain is making me suffer more than you are for dealing with my reaction to suffering all the time lol

#actually depressive #k*lljoy is a slur btw idk why you armchair diagnose people with “lazy asshole” #instead of maybe considering it’s just hard for us to do things #and interact with the world without feeling joy. Since when do we consider someone’s inability to do something as a moral failing?

…

[bethanysnow]

Get to know me~

Tagged by @itshannjisung

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

These dorks! Stray Kids. I also love BTS and Block B. I haven't gotten super into girl groups yet, but I am inching my way with Itzy, Twice, and Mamamoo! If people have song recommendations please let me know!

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

This artsy motherfucker. I saw a couple tiktok edits of this man and I needed to know why an anime character had come to life. Then I found out about SKZ, read some fanfiction, and by the time I looked up Chan had stolen me and I now am holding a wolfchan. Like you have to understand, I study art and dance and all of this stuff, I am going to school to work in museums, like this is my shtick! HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN!! AND I'VE MET TOM HIDDLESTON

❣ Who was your first bias?

For stray kids its Chan, I am the mom friend, he is the dad friend and together we make a happy family.

NOW FIRST EVER BIAS?!

THIS DORK! EVERYONE SAY HI TO P.O (Pyo Ji-hoon) I love him with all of my heart, I will always be in debt to him as my first-ever Bias. I know he is an actor now BUT THIS MANS VOICE?!?! GAHHHHH He could give felix a run for his money like thats the vibe he is. Where normally hes this, like a college professor, suit-wearing dorky big grinned man and his voice is that of a rocker who smokes a pack a day

❣ Who is your current bias?

LOOK AT SASSY PANTS THINKING HES SO COOL! I-its chan guys. Im basic bitch I know. BUT LISTEN Ey ey ey, we all need a 5'7 man to tell us he thinks we're pretty. Even though he embodies being 6'1.

❣ What makes them your bias?

It is hard for me to really describe why. Not just because I picked him, or I like him the most, but being a fan of Stray Kids, meeting the people I have, all of the members but especially Chan make me want to be better. I want to be able to go up to them and say "Because of you and your inspiration, I now have achieved X" I want to participate in life and do things again. I want to go to therapy, I want to work out again and fight my eating disorder. I am creating art, and writing songs???? I've never done that before and they aren't awful! Life is brighter because Stray Kids and Chan are in it. I look at the moon every night and think of something Jin (bts) said, that its the same moon and look at it and think of him. Just these little reminders that while the world seems to feel so big and scary and nothing is going right, you are a speck on a floating rock in space. Just like them.

Also Chan says he doesn't love himself, he doesn't think hes attractive. So it makes me feel validated that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I look??? Because if hes as prince charming as he is maybe im not as bad looking as I think I do?

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

Uhhh all of them????? There isn't a wreck-ER its you are wrecked by all of them! It was Hyunjin for a while, now I think it's Minho??? It switches on the daily honestly??? I will take anything and anyone of them.

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Felix/Han I love me some soft boys. Also I am 5'9, plus size, and very no-nonsense. The idea of these tiny men getting me to....do things...and uh trying to get me flustered just- yea does good for the soul. I love like reverse expectation fics? Like the big tall scary one is the subby sweet sunshine gf type and the tiny brightly colored talkative one is the super scary dominate teasing one. Its great.

❣ When did you first discover this group?

Last fall, I had just gotten out of a situationship and the band that brought me to it wasn't putting out music and I wanted to find joy again so I tried to find what I was into prior to rock music and that was kpop. Looked up groups that were popular, got back into BTS and then Stray Kids were in my recommended and the rest is history

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No! But if they come to Washington you know I will be there. I am going to see Enhypen this month with a friend of mine though! First kpop experience

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

ITEM

Youtiful

Case 143

Red Lights

Comflex

My Universe

Tortorus and Hare

Social Path

I tag @kaciidubs @7ndipity

[heartshapedgoggles]

Which Kpop Bands HP Characters Would Stan

Okay yes, I know Rowling sucks and Harry Potter is anathema now but like, it was a large part of my fandom experience for years so it's already in my brain and then I saw a tiktok talking about this but the person had different opinions than me and I wanted to not throw my weird headcanons all over their post so I'm making my own. But like, Trans Lives Matter, don't give JKR any more money, etc.

Anyways

I'm going to move forward pretending that kpop is like quidditch in the hp world: pretty much everyone has an opinion on it, and have grown up forming those opinions over time. All present day (2023) bands exist, but I'm a kpop old so I'm definitely going to skew that way a little.

Harry: Probably a BTS stan. He was thrown into this world with no knowledge and very little time to deep-dive, so he just kind of listens to the popular stuff that's around, and BTS is pretty much everywhere. When they start seeming tired before their hiatus he understands it on a deeply personal level. Jungkook bias, the image of a golden boy who has to be good at everything speaks to him. Later he discovers Xdinary Heroes and finds their song Happy Death Day hilarious post-battle of Hogwarts and so starts stanning them.

Ron: H.O.T. for the longest time, because they were an older group and the merch was cheap, and then later Forestella, because they're kind of niche and weird and don't have a big following. This is the man who supports the Chudley Cannons. He also likes BlackPink, but is embarassed about it and could never afford one of their concerts anyway, so he's more of a fan than a stan.

Hermione: This girl did research. She went looking for the most technically perfect artists, and landed on EXO and IU first, but then later (post year 3) found both Mamamoo and Brown Eyed Girls and was charmed by the vocals and the sass. When Harry learns how bookish RM from BTS is, he tells Hermione and she starts stanning him specifically as well.

Draco: Outwardly a Big Bang stan, he secretly also loves both Twice and his mother's old Shinhwa records. He has told no one.

Fred & George: They love the chaos pipeline of Block B, 2NE1, and Psy, and have recently added Xikers to their collection.

Ginny: She stans BlackPink and ITZY for their girl power vibes, and is a fan of 2NE1, which she listens to with Fred and George. In public she plays into her love of Stray Kids, because she hates being seen as girly.

Luna: Orange Caramel, Crayon Pop, Gugudan, and Dreamcatcher. Fun, weird, and occasionally dark.

Neville: BTOB and NCT Dream, but also GFriend because of that one Me Gustas Tu performance.

Sirius: Listened to actual JYP back in the day because all his family hated the guy for looking weird. Now JYP is The Man though, so Sirius sticks it to him by listening to Got7 after they broke away from JYP Entertainment. He also likes Ateez for the way they break norms by using such serious (eeeyyyyy) faces when they perform.

Lavender Brown: is a huge Sistar stan and had a screaming argument with Hermione about how exploitative songs like Shake It and Touch My Body are, where she actually made some great points about how pretty much /every/ kpop group uses exploitative marketing in some way, Sistar just don't dress it up as anything but. Ron agreed with her and that really pissed off Hermione.

Hagrid: Listens to Monsta X purely because of the name

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO you know it o7 Im also fluent in typos so I just automatically read through them as I read

So real I think the most annoying thing for me is the differences in romanization LMAO I discovered it through the webcomic first and then I was sent an unofficial translation (lowk it might be the same one you read) and immediately forgot the names of everyone because the spelling threw me off so bad LMAOOO and then my friend was like “ykw I’ll just write it all out for you” but fr the entire story and develop is CRAZY

Wait PAUSE yukis the oldest after aiku??? No way…although now I kinda see/get it (I’m laughing I can see Niko hiding in a bush tailing yuki and his hair blends in…or imagine aiku SPECIFICALLY is like hide in this bush ur hairs perfect for it)

REALLLL LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!! It’s literally just because he seems super tough and also is fucking BUILT but otherwise those dudebros do not even compare to our respectful man Barou…

LMAOO my go to example of white haired fav is Inumaki from jjk…I guess it’s more like off-white haired characters? Because now that I think it’s not usually the pure white characters (like not gojo LOL) I’m trying to think of more examples but I’ve suddenly forgot everything else even though I’ve had this convo multiple times with some friends oops (I’ll admit Shinahs also my fav but kijas second LMAO) I’m ngl I feel like I haven’t seen enough content that has prominent enough characters who are like Karasu so maybe that’s why I’ve never found a trend for characters like him?? Or maybe I’m just blanking now but this is a long analysis session for another time

I JUST SAW IT I saw the nagi one first and fr thought “no way that’s so on brand” and then I realized it said WAS and kept scrolling but FRR I think by now we can just default to assuming we mean not the typical fanon standard because they’re lowk all ass takes…but yeah I was just about to ask if that meant chigiri long fic LOLLL guys Mira rarepair…chigimira….lowk I can also kinda see it….you could try going for another matchup (or a few and see what the general consensus is if there is one) or imagine a tiktok magically appears on your fyp in your time of need HAHA

LMAOOO I’m ngl that’s not a bad idea just to get people to stop harassing or just bugging you….but then again there’s some people who are still really persistent regardless it’s fr a dilemma

LOL wait that’d be a little funny like imagine they see aikus face and colors and they read the entire thing thinking “wait the reader didn’t even talk to aiku once”

BAROU NATION RISE but manifesting a fire edit gets on your fyp LOL I was just thinking though majority of the remaining character requests you have minus Nagi don’t have a very large pool of edits…trust I’m sure something will come up though…or maybe this’ll be a bfb situation perhaps

No those were my exact thoughts like they’re all so interesting…even aikus LMAO that I couldn’t choose like atp I was ready to make a poll for my poll response choices

ON FIELD ISAGI MOMENT I should use that phrase more often but I see that happening to like almost every poll I come across it’s actually kinda crazy…I wonder if it’s fr just something people treat as a running joke and do to just shit on people smh

There’s too many itoshi fans fr I am very impressed that Karasu remained second though!!! Karasu nation fr rising though I saw that ask while scrolling to read our convo guys this is kinda crazy!!!

Forgot to mention earlier too but I found some more kiyora voicelines that I’ll send in via a separate ask so it’s not buried in here

- Karasu anon

no literally differences in translations always piss me off that’s why it’s so hard to read manhwa because they’ll change shit from chapter to chapter 😭 like the main character’s name will literally change in between scenes or smth…i think another thing is in the novel they use the full name (so like kim dokja or han sooyoung) when referring to characters but in the webcomic they don’t?? like it’s just dokja or wtvr and it felt v weird to me i did not enjoy it plus from what i remember of the webcomic it doesn’t feel as deep as the novel because you’re not literally in the main character’s head which is so integral to the plot!! ofc no hate to people who like the webcomic but truly it was not for me

YESS i’m pretty sure yuki’s the oldest of at least the relevant og bllkers!! since barou has a june bday, shidou is july, and karasu is august (and the rest aren’t 18 yet) meanwhile yuki is may i think?? LMAOOO NO BECAUSE IMAGINE AIKU MAKING NIKO “HACK THE MAINFRAME” (request to follow reader on insta) and it’s like niko typing furiously and then she accepts his request and he’s like “i’m in” all serious and stuff 😭 niko and aiku number one oaeu duo like one thing abt them they will get it done every time 🤩 very much so cousin energy there…yk like the one cousin you only meet at the family reunions once every five years but your vibes are insanely matched so you always get along crazy well…that’s oaeu aiku and niko

barou is a sweetheart at his core that’s what they conveniently miss!! if anything they should be glazing kaiser (tbf a lot of them do) he actually kinda gives dude bro energy…especially in those glasses i just know bro is in comments sections being all “erm actually” and having ness like his comments to hype him up

okay honestly i looked at panels of nagi and shinah side by side and uhhh yeah…i do have a bit of a type…it’s either pale messy wavy haired soft eyes or it’s dark haired sassy jewel eyes (like shinah and nagi vs megumi and karasu) LMAOO tbh my second fav was hak especially because the bodyguard trope is my absolute fav (to be a princess guarded by a handsome man who’s in love with you but you’re royalty and engaged so he can’t do anything about it except defend you even/especially if it kills him 😩) but kija is a king as well!! tbh i also liked jaeha a lot honestly they all slay

HAHAHA I SAW THE NAGI AND I WAS LIKE WOAH?? very real but at the same time even when i’m writing for nagi i tend to make the reader character a lot softer than me…in the sense that she almost ends up taking on that reo-like role of rlly looking out for nagi?? not to that extent but definitely still way more than i personally would ever do for ANY man 😭 the exception is peregrine reader because she’s on a diff level entirely but her nagi is also kinda different than canon nagi because (crazy spoilers for peregrine ahead because i need to talk abt it with someone even though i haven’t written for it in ages) he realizes while they’re dating in high school that he doesn’t care that being with her is a hassle because he loves her so much he wants to be with her anyways…very diff from the typical “oh reader is the only person nagi doesn’t find a hassle so he loves her 🤩” trope ik but it just felt better/more equal to me…it’s not her making his life easier so he stays with her out of convenience it’s him actively choosing her despite it being out of his comfort zone 🥹 for example one of the things that’s kind of being hinted at in peregrine is the whole hakuho scholar thing which is how reader gets to go to college in america but one of the big reveals is that she actually wouldn’t have made it because only the top two students get it and the top two were reo and nagi 😰 and nagi needed it because he got invited to play for some fancy european team (reo didn’t hence why he went to college w reader as well) but couldn’t really afford to go so he also needed that scholarship to be able to live an easy life like he wanted/planned…however he realizes how important leaving japan is to reader so even though he doesn’t want her to go and needs the scholarship he purposefully fails his exams so she can be the number two student thereby dooming himself to playing for a random japanese team and actually having to work hard 😕 and then the reason he quits soccer (the scene in the first chapter where he doesn’t score the goal) is because he realizes he doesn’t care about playing soccer anymore and just wants to be with the reader even though she’s in literally another country (and then he finds out she’s engaged EEK) so he gives up his career for even a CHANCE at seeing her again because his team would never let him go if he doesn’t straight up fail and quit and become useless…and then it turns out she’s going to marry kira so it didn’t matter…UFNFMSKXJDKSM SORRY peregrine rant i actually think abt that version of nagi so often like THAT’S who i mean when i say i would marry him!! yes he’s still lazy and goofy and emotionally stupid (my fav scene that i’m yet to write for the fic is when reader is about to leave for her flight to america and there’s a thunderstorm and instead of…yk…CALLING her or smth nagi literally BIKES across the city at top speed and almost dies just so he can tell her not to leave him [she still leaves him] because he could never ask that of her before as he didn’t even know he cared that much) but at the end of the day he is also a d1 piner in his own way 😭 that was a lot but anyways long story short nagimira with a strictly canonical interpretation of nagi would not work in the slightest but nagi with a little bit of miraverse zest is def a strong contender for number one bf award

HAHA honestly i can see chigiri as well!! we actually do have quite a lot in common plus we are both so slay we would be a very cunty couple 🤩 okay wait i just remembered this because of the entire peregrine rant i went on but after i posted one of the chapters where chigiri is being a bestie someone sent me an ask basically thanking me because i’m the first person who hasn’t made chigiri annoying in my fic HAHAHAHA i was like uhhh thanks i feel like i wrote him pretty normally though?? so miraverse chigiri is fandom approved ✅ idk if i could do a long fic for him though ngl as much as i love him he gives very strong platonic soulmate vibes for me 😩 but who knows tik tok always comes through so maybe i’ll be inspired

no yeah some people will start prodding the story…imagine i just pull out manga panels of karasu or smth i wonder what they would do 😭 and HAHA FR “wait why did aiku spend the whole fic trying to get her w someone else??”

BAROU NATION LET’S GO to be honest it’s more audios than videos that get me going…for example the kiyora fic was inspired the arctic monkeys audio in that one nagi and isagi edit i have saved so even though the video itself had nothing to do w him i was still able to get to work because of that!! so tik tok will definitely still clutch up at LEAST for the to be determined longfic SKFHSJSBA

YES KARASU NATION i think this blog is probably followed by like every karasu fan which is why he got so many votes 😭 no complaints though i love that man fr…and yeah people will always act the fool online i’m afraid 😓 HAHA itoshism is too strong though i fear 😩💔 also OOH more kiyora!! that’s so fun hehe i look forward to reading them

[1d1195]

omg I don’t even blame you texting harry sounds like a dream come true DONT SAY ANYTHING BUT IM SOSOSOSO EXICTED

I saw this screenshot of a tiktok once that said something like “me knowing ive met some of my best friends bc we both liked some guy on the internet at the same time” (the girl was talking ant harry ofc) AND I SPENT SM TIME LOOKING FOR IT and I couldn’t find it again :( but it reminded me of us and just everyone on this blog. we really did discover each other cause some guy we’re all obsessed with.

i love On My Own !!! Ive be getting into Heartbreak Weather again specifically Small Talk and Still (totally opposite vibes ik😭) Im just completely in love with that album and anything that man does lol

im def an OG swiftie my sister got me to listen to her back in the fearless era and ive been a obsessed ever since. i sorta grew up with her and will forever support that woman, she’s just been through so much and I have so much respect for her. Im soooo psyched for this new album as well cause the vibes are just…PERFECT so far. 

OH NO NOT YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN KID😭😭 that songs left me in tears the first time i heard it and a ton of other times. but i completely understand they played Never Grow Up at my little brother’s graduation and I was IN SHAMBLES 

OH MY I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED (and shocked!) I WAS WHEN A TAYLOR X ZAYN COLLAB DROPPED and let me tell you that song was on REPEAT !!!!!

those 1989 vault tracks had me all🫢 knowing they were abt harry😭 I MEAN “I say I love you, you say nothing back,” OH MY GODDDDD (but I truly believe he could break my heart and id thank him for it even tho there’s no chance I would come back from that)

can’t wait to hear your thoughts mwah mwah <3 !!!

~🎶

IT'S SO GIRLHOOD TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE WE ALL LOVE HARRY. I'm crying 😭😭

I would murder for Niall I agree completely. Anything he does is PER-FECT.

That's so sweet of how you think about Taylor, that makes so much sense and it's nice you have that relationship with your sister and also sort of Taylor if you know what I mean!

I AGREE WITH YOU. I would let Harry drop kick me out a window and I would definitely thank him. It's my one major red flag/toxic trait whatever you want to call it.

Is your sister older or younger than you? It's nice you have a sister and a brother. That's something i always wanted. 💕

It's lovely chatting with you as always 💕

xoxo

[snezhnayan-nights]

Hi! I have some questions, feel free to ignore if uncomfortable!

When did you realise or suspect you might be a system

This one I’ll try to word correctly: had you ever watched/interacted with systems online prior to forming yours. I ask because I’m curious as to whether like with the rise in tic disorders, social media might have an influence on the formation of such systems. I honestly don’t mean this in a “oh you saw it on TikTok and made your own” kind of way, I genuinely believe with the rise in tics for example, something genuinely may be happening unconsciously. A bit like how one mirrors the behaviour of those in their presence.

Do you find having a system helps you to cope with things that you struggle with in life

Do you think you may be neurodivergent

that’s all I can think of! Have a good day

well this is gonna be an ask i gotta answer cos laughs in the guy who discovered wil and had a crisis

it was like a year ago-ish? i was just doing normal things but for some reason i just got to feeling "holy shit i need to type with a proxy." and that's when wil started to talk to me and fuck me over /j. aaaand i thought he was just a delusion or something and thought he'd go away, but nope! he's still here so... yeah.

only one and the one who gave me advice if i were a system. they didn't encourage "hey you should do x, y, z" like pushing me to be a system in a way, but more like "okay so you're experiencing x, y, z. that could be l, m,n but sometimes you gotta wait a little to make sure". i don't think they influenced me tbh, they barely show or talk abt being a system.

yes, actually! even though it really feels like my life changed, there is some good things that came along with it. i'm not gonna get to specifics though.

do i think? haha, no. i am. but yeah, i highly think we have adhd and a little lower chance of autism.

[copperbadge]

Do you have a rant in you about Emeril Lagasse like you do about Bobby Flay?

I...hm. I think in a way I both have no rants and also three rants, when it comes to Emeril Lagasse.

The Rant That's Actually About Bobby Flay

All these TV chefs, particularly those who came up in Food Network when the food-entertainment field was super regulated and gatekept, you really only know what you see of them directly and what you might hear about them from other sources. They're not like regular celebs where a huge chunk of their lives is public and covered in gossip rags and such. Not to make a rant about Emeril Lagasse into a rant about Bobby Flay, but the reason I have a rant locked and loaded about Bobby Flay is that he's shown his ass in public enough for me to decide he's not someone I'd want to hang out with, even considering the above.

It's kind of a self-selection sort of deal. Because while I like food tv I don't watch much of it and haven't for probably like 15 years, you have to have been somewhat egregious, like Flay or Batali, to draw enough of my ire that I have a rant. (I don't actually have a rant about Mario Batali, I'm too scared of Eataly to try it and otherwise all I know is that he's a serial harasser.)

2. The Rant That's Actually About Fatphobia

My immediate thought when I got this ask was "I haven't thought about Emeril in years, oh man, did he do something awful?" but a quick goog and the worst I could find was that while liking Barack Obama he didn't like his attitude towards regulatory legislation. Which, you know, in the scheme of things lately is a pretty minor issue. Not that I think you're taking a personal swipe at him, but culturally it seems that as with Guy Fieri, Emeril Lagasse's cardinal sin is that he is

a) A loud personality

b) In a fat body

c) on television.

And my patience for the confusion of "tacky" and "fat" and "bad" is growing very, very thin. Especially since Emeril and Guy are the rare people who could be fat and because they have pretty wild personalities still thrive in the modern YouTube-TikTok era of food entertainment, where conventional attractiveness and thin bodies are pretty much prerequisites for fame of any kind. If you are fat on video today you truly have to be exceptional in some way and working twice as hard in order to have any success, let alone the kind of success top influencers have.

If Guy Fieri as an unknown today did what B Dylan Hollis does, he would not get the reaction B Dylan Hollis gets. No beef with Hollis, work what you've got, but if Hollis was fat he'd be at best the butt of jokes about how he'll eat anything, and the worse TikTok makes fatphobia in this country the less patience I have for it. Emeril, who also looks Faintly Ethnic and puts an emphasis on Portuguese and Creole flavors and techniques in his cooking, might very well just simply be ignored.

3. The Rant That Isn't Actually A Rant At All

Here is my memoir about Emeril Lagasse: my mother discovered Emeril's first show, Essence Of Emeril, when I was in my middle-teens; she saw it on some hotel TV while traveling, and brought it back to the family, and we all really enjoyed it. The idea of a chef having a specific spice blend or a food brand was either very new or wholesale conceptualized by Emeril, with his Essence Of Emeril spice blend, which was posted as a recipe as well as sold in stores, so you could make it at home fairly easily. It was still relatively unspicy; I could eat it, and my brother was obsessed with it, which made it a pretty useful foodstuff in our household. Our constant struggle to get my brother to expand his palate so we weren't cooking him an entirely separate dinner was real, and Essence helped with that since he'd sprinkle it on food he wouldn't normally eat, like spaghetti noodles or baked fish or porkchops, and then happily eat it.

So I have perhaps understandably fond memories of Emeril, because he was something the family agreed was enjoyable, and his recipes (while often complicated) produced pretty delicious food.

There's actually a moment in Infinite Jes, when Eddie's talking about his career, where I touch directly back to me being a fan of Essence Of Emeril and watching him make the leap to Emeril Live.

If you watch Essence of Emeril, it's your standard Chef Behind A Counter On A Soundstage show, very Julia Child -- he's boisterous and enthusiastic and he's already honing his "Bam!" schtick, but there's nothing for him to work with. He hasn't got an audience and it's almost painful to see now because you can see where he unconsciously reaches for an audience reaction. It's a relief to watch early Emeril Live because he's got a studio audience, someone to respond to, someone who reacts when he makes a loud noise or finishes a beautiful dish. I put that moment into Infinite Jes, where Eddie's trying to make a dumb little fun cooking show in college and doesn't really "break" until two stoners walk into the kitchen and he's got other people to bounce off of. In some ways, because I watched way more Emeril than I did Guy at a formative moment, Eddie's actual career owes more to Emeril than to Guy.

I think Emeril's had a rough go of it in the past decade or so; you don't hear about him much, and part of the reason is that a lot of his business ventures haven't done well. He sold most of the remaining ones to Martha Stewart and lately has focused on his restaurants, as I understand it.

In conclusion

So yeah...the only rant I have about Emeril Lagasse is actually a rant about fatphobia, I guess; if it turns out he's like a super vocal Trump supporter or something that'll be a tragedy (and given he's based out of Florida, it's not unlikely he could have uncomfortable shit to say about the pandemic, but as far as I can tell he hasn't). It seems without in-depth research that he's a decent guy whose time has somewhat passed, and who decided to focus on what he enjoys about being a chef over doing stuff he doesn't like because the money's good.

[gimletagain]

Yesterday I saw an Archewell podcast promo, featuring MM, on a digital billboard in the central business district of Melbourne, Australia. It was in front of the city's main Flinders St, train station. I was surprised to see it! My first thought was 'how much would this be costing?' I've just read that they it's a global promo! Now I really want to know what an ad campaign like this would cost!

Here’s my business perspective on this. Podcasts are really important to Spotify because the economics are much better than music. People love music but artists have outsized power. They can pull catalogs or go to competitors. Negotiating rights is a pain in the ass. A big Taylor Swift type album comes out once every year or so, if you’re lucky, and that might drive up subscription for a few months before people fall off again. Trends randomly change and stuff like TikTok randomly creates new virality moments where music gets discovered there first over Spotify.

Podcasts are to audio streaming what reality shows are to tv. The hit could come from anyone with a mic. What you pay them is nil in return for what you get. Joe Rogan was solidly niche random guy in entertainment and look what he built for them. Continuous love-him-or-hate-him buzz. A steady stream of episodes on time. A reason for people to subscribe and come back week after week. And bonus co-marketing from people and companies with their own reach and platform - like Barstool sports or New York Times. That’s the money.

Spotify wanted that from them. But they didn’t get it. The podcast took way too long to deliver, with way too many producers involved, way too much drama and hand-holding. And, they refuse to be active on social media to promo it. Trust me, this is a huge, huge contention point - likely for Netflix too.

At this point it’s about using this podcast as a “special event” and giving it light marketing as that to get a temporary boost in short term traffic. This is it. It’ll exist, it’ll run, it’ll get some buzz for its duration, but there will be no more deals. No continuation of contract. This is it.

[seabass17]

All that’s left | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

A/n: This is my first time writing something based on a video I found on TikTok, it’s not exactly the same, but it is kinda the idea. I hope you like it and please let me know if you might want a part two. Also, I apologize if you find some errors, im doing my best since English is not my first language. Anyway, happy reading!!

All that’s left masterlist

Pt. 2

Warnings: angst, mentions of injuries (broken ribs, cuts, dislocated shoulder)

Word count: 2.5K

Summary: She still can’t get used to the feeling of being left behind by the people she once called family. After being hurt, she decides that she will give them a chance, and when they failed, she then makes the decision to disappear and start brand new. Of course, she leaves a letter that will left the team standing in the dark, and with more questions than answers about a lot of things, while discovering that she has more of one past that she let to know.

The sound of the rain hitting against the window of my living room was the only thing that could be heard in the silence of my apartment. I looked over my desk where the paper is waiting for me to pick up the pen and get this over with, but somehow, somewhere deep inside of me, a part is waiting, holding on to the smallest of hope that maybe, just maybe, he is going to come knocking to my door asking why the i haven’t showed up to the compound for the last three days, or why i didn’t text nor call the rest of the team. I wanted to see if they would notice my absence so I left the compound on Thursday. I got the answer to my question when Sunday arrived and my inbox was clear; no one noticed. Today is Tuesday, my apartment is thirteen minutes away, fifthteen if you literally fly or speed up, but still, no one came or text.

To be honest, I'm not surprised, that doesn’t mean it hurts less though. I know i should probably think this through instead of making the impulse decision of grabbing my things and get the hell out of here, going somewhere i can start fresh, somewhere i can start over and get a chance to get over all the things that happened,  find people that actually cared for me, or maybe not finding anyone at all and die alone.

I stand up from my bed and go to my desk, it’s time to get this over with. I start writing the only thing that they get to keep.

“Dear Avengers, You’re probably wondering where I am, or you just don’t care, maybe you don’t even find this. If someone from the building finds this, keep it in case they ever come looking for me; thank you. So, this is it, this is my goodbye. You should consider yourselves lucky, given the fact that none of you even deserves a goodbye because you are the ones causing it. I could tell you the reason why I'm leaving, and you know what, I will tell you. I chose to trust you. The one thing I feared the most was trusting people, but when I joined the team, I thought ‘well, maybe i can trust them, they are my team’, guess what, I was wrong. You should really look out for your teammates Stark, oh, and by the way, you might want to look deeper into why the operation that saved those 30 civilians on may 20, didn’t go south, you might even discover its the very same reason of why i didn’t showed up in the compound for a week, yeah, they were busy torturing the information out of me for a week; information that, by the way, i didn't give, hence why the operation went great. Something even more funny, is that behind every mistake, every wrong that each one of you have ever done, I’m the one that suffered the consequences. Don’t believe me? Then you might want to do your homework, because dear teammates, I’m the one you couldn’t protect. By the time you find out the things you’ve done, I will be long gone. I'm very good at disappearing, Natasha (once she figures it out) can confirm that. I wish things would be different and we could be… family, but that’s never going to happen; not anymore. As of now, there will be no record of my name ever existing, everything that once belonged to me, will be burned, and as of me, well, I am no one.”

I fold the piece of paper and put it in the envelope, once sealed, I write down the word my name in the center so they know. I take a last look at my apartment. Everything is intact, the furniture that came with it is the same as always, the only thing different is that it seems empty without all my belongings. I grabbed my luggage and exited the apartment and then went downstairs.

“Hey Richard”  I say to the man that is in the reception like I always do

“Hey miss, what can I do for you?”

“Well, I'm leaving, for good. If someone comes asking for me, my friends, you tell them that you haven’t seen me. Oh, I left a letter for them upstairs, could you please make sure that it gets to them? Only if the show up, do not sent it”

He looked at me a little sad and confused.

“Oh, well, you will me missed miss, I hope you find happiness and yes, i promised i will make sure they get your letter”

“Thank you Richard, for everything, oh, and this is for you” I handed him an envelope with some cash. He looked like he was about to say something about how he couldn’t accept it but I cut him off. “Please, just take it, please”. He sighs but takes the envelope.

“Thank you miss…”

I smiled at him and then turned around to grab a cab. I'm supposed to be in the airport in 30 minutes. Once in the airport, the only thing left is to start again, be someone brand new.

*3rd person POV*

Friday morning was a little colder than usual in the avengers compound, everyone on the team was up and in the kitchen having breakfast. Everything was normal, until someone noticed that someone was missing.

“Hey guys” Bucky said right before taking a bite of the pancakes Wanda made earlier for everyone. “Have any of you seen y/n?”

The team stayed quiet, realizing that they haven’t seen her for quite a while, not until Barnes brought it up.

“Uh… maybe she took a trip?” Steve broke the silence while the rest started thinking when was the last time they had seen her.

“No, she was here when we arrived from the Jersey mission, it must have been like what, two days, maybe three?” Tony said. Bucky could feel his insides burning and twisting.

“No… that was eight days ago” Vision intervened. The avengers felt like someone just blew up the white house. Her teammate was missing for eight days and no one even noticed. Bucky was the first one to react by getting up and running to her dorm, only to find it exactly the way it was when he last saw her. He searched her dorm looking for something out of place that could tell him that maybe you were in trouble and that he has to come save you, but he is left desperate when he doesn’t find anything.

“She’s not here, everything is intact” He informs once he is back in the kitchen.

“Everyone” Steve calls out, “get dressed, we’re going to look for her. Let’s start in her apartment”

The team leaves to change their clothes and next thing they know, they are in her building. Without saying a word to the receptionist, they all made their way up to her apartment.

“Hey! wait-” he goes unnoticed because the avengers are already on her door. Wanda knocks on the door.

“Y/n? You there?” no one responds. “Y/n come on, don’t be mad at us” Natasha says.

After a few seconds they all start to worry when the door is unlocked, and they worry even more once they see the apartment completely empty.

“What the-” Bucky says

“Where are her things?” Wanda asks to no one especifically

“Where is she?” Thor says

“What the hell is going on?” Tony says a little louder

Bucky storms out of the empty apartment and goes to the man in the reception

“What the hell happened to apartment 108, where is y/n y/l/n?” he asks with worry and anxiety in his voice.

“I’m sorry, but, who are you?” the man asks the rather intimidating group of people in front of him.

“We’re the Avengers man” Peter says and the man suddenly realizes and his face changes from a confused one, to a sad one that makes the team’s stomach drop.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he sighs, “She left me indicated to give this to you” he hands them an envelope that looks like it's been sitting there for a while. Bucky stares at the envelope like it's some kind of nuclear weapon that if you touch it, it could kill you. Wanda notices, grabs the envelope and stares at the paper in her hands.

“When did she leave this?” She asked

“Three days ago”

“And why didn’t you send it to us?” Tony asked, getting angry at the poor man.

“Because she specifically said  to handed it to you, if you ever came looking for her”

Bucky could feel the tears in his eyes start to form.

“She said that? `Ever’?” Bucky asked almost to himself. The man slowly nodded. Natasha could feel how her stomach started burning from the guilt and the pain of not noticing that her friend was missing for eight days, little does she know that the entire team felt exactly the same.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y pull the records on the mission on may 20 and also show me the status of y/n on that time” Tony said to the AI and after a few seconds later, pictures of the building that that was about to be blown out by HYDRA with 30 civilians inside showed up. While the avengers were sitting in the conference room looking at the pictures, the AI started talking.

“Mission of may 20. Information was given that HYDRA kept 30 civilians inside the building with the intention of blowing it up with them inside. Source of the information unknown. The Avengers  came to the building and successfully rescued the civilians safely moments before the building was blown up. Agent y/n y/l/n was on an undercover mission on a HYDRA facility at the same time, the communication was lost three days before the civilians situation, and around the same time, the information about the building was given anonymously the very same day that communication with Agent y/l/n was lost; Agent y/l/n returned a week later. Medical record found, access denied”

“Override, Tony Stark” Tony said after a good couple of seconds, the pieces starting to fall in place.

“Access complete. Medical records of Agent y/l/n on may 27th. Access restrained: Agent y/l/n. She presented with several cuts all over her body, three broken ribs, a second grade concussion, a sprained ankle and a dislocated shoulder. Patient refused treatment and was only given medication for the pain”

The seconds were passing and no one in the room would break the silence. The pieces were starting to fall in place, Tony felt nauseous. He yelled at her for being irresponsible for staying a little longer than she should have in the undercover mission, given the fact that she checked in on june 10th, meaning that she waited two weeks for her injuries to heal enough so that he could yell at her for not being good enough. He fell down to his chair, feeling like if he stayed up, he might throw up.

“She was the one that gave us the information about the building” Sam broke the silence. “She was the one that got tortured, and still managed to pass through the data so that we, could be the heroes while she was the one that got beaten up”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, where is she?” Natasha asked the AI, and it responded after a few seconds.

“No information found”

Natasha frowned, Bucky looked up to the screen to see the red sentence. It only made him want to scream more.

“What does ‘no information found’ mean?” Bucky asked on the edge of falling apart.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y” Steve called

“No information available” it said this time.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, look for y/n y/l/n” Tony said, thinking maybe he needed to check what was wrong with the AI.

“No records found for y/n y/l/n”

“Detail,” Stark said.

The AI showed what it said before, there was no record of her name, it was like it never existed. No phone number, no mail address, no nothing, just a little picture of an abandoned building or mansion somewhere in the world.

“Wait” Natasha said, “I know that building, F.R.I.D.A.Y, do a close up on that picture”

“What is it?” Wanda asked

“It was where The Red Room used to operate” tha AI responded

“Why does it appear related to her?” Bucky asked, fearing the answer

“The picture was taken when a girl escaped The Red Room in 2002, she eliminated four people on the way, the age or who it was is still unknown” the AI responded.

“Oh god…” Natasha whispered but Bucky manage it to hear it

“Natasha, what is it?” he asked

“2002, that’s three years after i managed to escape, there was a girl, we were some sort of friends, i promised that i was going to get us out of here, but i couldn’t take her with me so i left her. Two years later I contacted someone on the inside so that I could get to her and plan her escape, but she was angry at me and said that she was fine, a year later she did escape, killing four people on her way” Natasha explained. Everything makes sense now, why she looked familiar, why she had exactly the same skills as Natasha. The team noticed it too, but they assumed it was because she had trained very hard to be an avenger.

“What was her name?” Vision asked.

“Eliza” Natasha said

“Wait a minute…” Bucky said, lifting her head looking at Natasha. “Was that her real name?”

“No, she didn’t wanted to say her real one” Natasha said

“Eliza, that’s y/n’s grandmother’s name” Bucky said and the room fell into a silence where you could hear the wind outside.

“In the letter…” Steve started, “She said that you could confirm that she was good at disappearing completely once you figured it out, so, does this mean that…”

“Y/n is Eliza” Natasha concluded

“She was in The Red Room” Bucky added.

“She said in her letter that all of us did her wrong,” Sam said, “how are we supposed to know what the hell we do to her? She’s been in the team for what, two and a half years? And just now we realized that she was the one that gave us the data that saved 30 people and got her tortured, and that she was trained in The Red Room like Black Widow here. What else are we missing?” he added.

“Guess there’s only one thing we can do” Steve said, looking at Tony.

“And what’s that?” Wanda asked

“We find her”

[earlgreytea68]

How's pete genius? Unleashed your thoughts please, I want to hear them as well.

haha WELL

The person I was talking to was speaking from a musical perspective, and I’m not really going to ever win an argument, I don’t think, that Pete’s some kind of bass-playing prodigy, because he knows that he’s not. And the person I was talking to was saying something about, like, Pete Wentz’s mediocrity as a musician and yet him being in a successful rock band and I think that the person’s point was something about the fickleness of fame and success, which I don’t *entirely* disagree with.

But.

I think in Pete Wentz’s case, like, the more I read about and learned about Pete Wentz, the more I became convinced that he wasn’t some guy who happy-go-luckily stumbled upward into fantastic success, and I think that narrative about him is wrong. There’s a way in which it connects back to that whole “boy band” idea of devaluing what “girls” like, you know: Well, Pete Wentz is a good-looking guy and girls went crazy for him so he can’t be that good or smart, he’s just got pretty eyes and a nice smile and hot tattoos. But there’s also a way in which the dominance of “aw shucks it’s all dumb luck” narrative is a strategy in and of itself, letting people underestimate you. But anyway, I’m babbling. What I said to the person that night was:

Pete Wentz might not be a musical prodigy, but Pete Wentz is absolutely a genius. It takes a genius to come up with the strategy Pete did and then to execute it as perfectly as he did: to get their band together, to get their band noticed, to get their band signed. There’s a line in that (otherwise weird) autobiography where someone has a quote about Pete where he used to go around the Chicago scene talking about Fall Out Boy like it was going to be a huge band and that, the way he was about the band, everyone believed him. (Here is a video that talks through Pete’s strategy in a lot more detail.)

Pete talks in interviews about building their fanbase from the ground up, and this is when the internet was still so new that it wasn’t like everyone out there had a Twitter or a TikTok to gain views. What Pete Wentz had was a literal LiveJournal, because he’s got a fannish personality at heart, and that fannish personality meant that he understood what it means for a band to talk to its fans, and the rabbit hole of Pete Wentz’s early interactions with the fans on the FOB message boards was the original thing I loved most about him, when I discovered them on my first day of Googling who Pete Wentz was. There he is just sitting there patiently responding to people writing about their grandmothers dying and their boyfriends breaking up with them, and I’m not saying he’s not a nice guy who genuinely cares about people, but I’m also pretty sure he was performing the emotional labor of building those interactions with an eye on his prize.

Now did he or does he get everything in his life 100% right? No, of course not. But he is an incredibly smart person who was incredibly focused about a very particular ambition at the perfect point in time for him to make it work. He didn’t fall into success, he worked really, single-mindedly, determinedly hard at it. Patrick says somewhere that he’s got to keep an eye on Pete because if he turns away for a second, Pete’s made a million decisions that are going to affect the band for the next five years. Patrick has said somewhere else that the thing that most defines Fall Out Boy is Pete’s taste, which is an unsurprising revelation, as Pete’s been shaping their future for them since the very beginning. One of my very favorite little Fall Out Boy details is that it was Pete who registered their trademark for them originally, with his old AOL email address as the contact, and this is both adorable to me and also so smart, he did it SO EARLY.

And then he did exactly what he should have done and transferred it to the band’s LLC when they were big enough to get one, which warms my heart.

Pete is very clearly a writer, and I could have talked about that, about how he obviously writes compulsively in that way of people who need words. I could have talked about how he’s been a writer his whole life, how his dad has talked about how important books are to him and how he was writing his own in elementary school. I could have talked about what a *good* writer he is, too, how his lyrics are densely packed with layers of meaning.

But Pete didn’t just write books in elementary school: he also went around selling them door to door. His entrepreneurial streak has always been there. He understands marketing and thinks about it deeply. He is, as he proclaimed once in an interview, not stupid.

In the end, though, here’s how you know Pete Wentz is a genius: He met this teenage drummer who *was* a musical prodigy, and he saw immediately what he had stumbled onto and he held on tight. Meeting Patrick Stump was luck. Convincing Patrick Stump to sing in his band, that was Pete’s first act of genius.