#this is aough

[cowboysmp3]

there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

[dottie-n-stripes]

ode to a game that changed my life and introduced me to a world that has been very near and dear to me since... good night wiiu 😴

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

he's squeaky toy. to me.

[evelyn-art-05]

chronic illness is so fucking annoying because what do you mean I was completely fine and able to do tons of work yesterday with no problem but today I can't even stand up from bed without feeling like I might collapse. like what do you MEAN

[derpycatsu]

icarus

[spaceistheplaceart]

right next to me yet so far away

[bigfatbreak]

been a long week. we'll see if i overstepped at work and am gonna get myself shitmixed/scolded but in the very least, my girls at work should have a better foothold on things

[lowcallyfruity]

I CSNT TAKE IT ANYMROE

a/n: I got pirate treasure brainrot while drawing Jeanne so I made this in a hurry......... Also kinda continuation from my other fit Jasmine. Imma head to bed now

cw: oc x canon (Kalim x Jeanne), uhhhh lies to try to push people away? If that makes sense? Also thoughts of self hatred

words: 1070

“Kalim.” Jeanne spoke suddenly, her hand stopping from caressing the boy’s hair. He made a sound of acknowledgement, waiting to hear what his beloved would say. “I think it's time we stop whatever this is.”

Kalim’s eyes immediately opened, and he sat down to look at the girl with confusion on his face. His red irises looked everywhere on Jeanne's face, searching for any hint of a joke, but her expression was serious, there was no smile, no indication that she didn't mean what she said.

“What… what do you mean?” He asked, his anxiety building up as he lifted his hand to touch the girl's face. She held his wrist with her hand and leaned into his touch, a melancholic look in her eyes. “We… we’re together, right? Are you– you're trying to break up with me?”

“Kalim, there wasn't even a relationship to begin with.” she gently pushed his hand away, holding it on her lap. “We never agreed to be together as lovers.”

“But we are.” He insisted, almost frantic. “I wouldn't have kissed you that day if I didn't love you. You never rejected me either, so–”

“Because I wanted to use you.” Kalim blinked. his heart sinking as he saw the girl frowning, her eyes fixated on the ground. “I wanted– I'm a pirate, Kalim.” She began, biting her lip. “I steal, that's what I do. You're a rich boy who I thought would be an easy target.”

“I… know that.” He said, and it was Jeanne's turn to feel like her heart was breaking. “I always knew that, I’m not dumb.” Of course he wasn't. Jeanne knew that. But still, hearing him say it… “But I just loved you so much I couldn't help it.”

Jeanne let out a painful chuckle, letting his hand go and playing with her hook. 

“Love? You don't know what love is, Kalim.” He couldn't love her. It was impossible to love someone like her. “You’ve known me for months.”

“But I knew I loved you from the moment I saw you.” Kalim tilted his head, his hand moving to her chin, making her lift her face and look him in the eye. Kalim smiled softly, his dimples that Jeanne loved so much showing up. “I love you.”

No.

She took his hand out of her face and got up, but before she could walk Kalim held her wrist, making her look at him. Her face was redder than an apple, but she couldn't help it, he had always been like that… so gentle, so loving, so honest.

She would poison his existence if she stayed for longer.

“Jeanne, please.” He pleaded, deciding to get up, not once leaving his grip on her wrist, scared she’d run away. “I don't care about your intentions at first. I only care about how you feel now.” He smiled, his fingers caressing the girl's face, and she felt herself melting into his touch once again. “So, please, stay with me.”

Jeanne closed her eyes tightly and gently took his hand out of her face, she was bracing herself for the absurdity she was about to say, for how much this would hurt not only her, but him as well.

But there was no other way. She needed him to get away from her. For his own good.

“I don't love you.” 

Kalim blinked. “What?”

“I don't love you, Asim.” 

“What are you saying…?” He questioned, holding onto her tighter. “Jeanne, I told you, I–”

“This was all a trick, Asim, I never loved you.” She continued the lie, daring to look the boy in the eyes, no matter how much it stung. “Unfortunately, I realized that Jamil and Damali are onto my schemes. There's no benefit for me in pretending any longer.” 

She pushed his hands away, but she couldn't help but do it softly, gently. Almost as if trying to undo the damage she had caused. But she was too far gone. 

“Do me a favor.” His red eyes never left her gaze, not even when he started to tear up. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stay strong. “Forget that I ever got into your life.”

With that, she turned around, closing his bedroom door behind her. As she did, she tried to hear anything from the boy inside, but it was pure silence. 

Then, she heard soft sniffles, almost as if trying to keep quiet, as if trying not to bother anyone. Jeanne felt her eyes tear up.

He was hurting. Because of her.

She was a monster.

The girl crouched down, her face resting on her knees as she let a few tears fall. She couldn't help it, she wouldn't be able to wait until she reached her room in Savanaclaw, she needed to let it out now, at least some of it.

She hated herself for this. She hated every last part of herself. How dare she, a girl like her, try to take advantage of a boy like him, and later think they could be happy? Why? Because he had ‘changed her'? Because he was gentle and caring? Because he made her feel safe, and loved? And as if she deserved attention? And deserved kindness? Because he treated her as the most precious jewel in the entirety of Twisted Wonderland, despite all the riches he got?

What a joke!

She had tried to manipulate him, and therefore she didn't deserve his love. Kalim needed to find a wonderful, kind girl who would love him for who he was, and not for what he could get her. He deserved someone whose family had a decent job, who didn't steal for a living. 

He… deserved the opposite of her.

“Jeanne?” She fell on her butt upon hearing her name, and after realizing it was Jamil, a plate of food in his hands, – probably for Kalim – she dried her tears and got up almost immediately. She didn't want him of all people knowing how much this affected her. “What–”

“I'm not gonna show up at Scarabia anymore.” She said, making Jamil blink in surprise. “Sorry for being a nuisance this whole time.” 

And with that, she left, running back to Savanaclaw with tears in her eyes, and a heartbroken. She hated admitting this but she would never be able to love anyone as she loved Kalim.

But he should love someone else. For his own good.

[popfizzles]

Some concepts for the missing bad-ending sins? I will probably do some tweaks here and there, BUT the ideas are now on paper :) yay!

Some notes under the cut:

Greed and Envy are full time repossession men. Sometimes they do some work here and there around the Casino (like bouncing, or working certain tables), but their main job is to go around and rough up toons whose souls are overdue.

Gluttony probably works with the Tipsy Troop around the kitchen/bar. Gluttony is all about indulgence, and you better believe that the food in Inkwell Hell is going to be SO GOOD.

Sloth sorta just lazes around all over the casino. She looks cute, what more do you want from her?? Patrons buy them drinks, spend more money, and Sloth is too relaxed to really care either way. 😌

Wrath works behind the scenes, in research and development regarding souls. However, most of their "work" is just a lot of torture and pent up rage under the guise of science. Oops.

Lust is a lot like Sloth. Customers buy her drinks and spend more for her, but she's a lot more animated about it! But, she can come off as too much, and very overwhelming, especially when compared to Sloth.

Pride is in training directly under King Dice to be a manager. Very clean and put-together, the neatest sin. Will turn their nose up to regular patrons attempting to speak with them, and will be short with other employees.

[vivelegalite]

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

[smoothedsmoothie]

[saintaviator]

been doin redraws as warmups w these two dorks ^^ ID in alt text!

[a-driftamongopenstars]

okay but can we talk about Cayde's story in the Final Shape for a moment. the way it has been done so graciously gave me a whole new level of respect for the writers.

it's the epitome of "came back wrong". damn, he didn't want to come back, he says so. he wanted to drift and just rest.

but fate spinned and turned and said no, you get to do something first.

Cayde gets to say goodbyes. not directly, but I think it was there, when he hugged Zavala and Ikora. he got to kick some Witness ass that put him in the ground in the first place. he got to finish the dare and hand down his laurels to someone else, and not just someone!

and the best of all, when it was time, he got to choose to go out on his own terms.

"nobody makes my fate but me" is not only a nod to the infamous paracausal creed, but also a choice. no wish dragon gets to decide, nobody but Cayde himself. this is a knife worthy of severing even the strongest 'magic' that brought him back to life.

i think that is such a powerful turn of storytelling, i'm truly blown away. it feels respectful, emotional, weighty and just... beautiful.

[lemonscreams]

KILL YOURSELF BANNY (kidding i lovw banny)

[nekoning]

transfem feng xin once again! i love her sm that it pushed me to render after so long woah,, | more abt her here and here

[marblegroves]

All In Quick Succession

Another piece based on @sixteenth-days fic! ^^ This scene was pulled from this chapter specifically!

Plus a bonus little page without the panels 👇