#this is an old photo and I don't know where it is from but I saw it on twitter and instantly lost my mind

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 27 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is required to travel for a week, and both you and he are exhausted. He's hoping this will mean fewer deployments in the future, but in the present, he's going to need to remember where his responsibilities lie.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, lactation kink, body image, fluff, smut, DILF Roo

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Once again, your parents extended their stay to spend more time with Rose, but when they finally flew back to Maryland, it felt strange to be on your own with your daughter. You and Bradley fell into a regular routine once more, but it took him days before he came clean about being stressed out. When he got home late from work to find you on the couch feeding Rose, you could tell by the set of his shoulders that he'd had a long day.

"Can we talk about some things?" he asked, bending to untie his boots. You'd been wanting him to confide in you for days, but you were already exhausted again from the late night feedings and had pushed the comments Bradley made to Jake to the back burner.

"What's on your mind?" you asked, secretly pleased that he leaned down to give you a long, needy kiss, complete with his big hand on your neck, before kissing Rose as she ate. It had been a few days since you and he were intimate, and your body was already responding to him as he dropped down on the couch next to you.

"Can we just move to La Jolla? Nothing stresses me out when we have copious amounts of champagne and oral sex."

You laughed at his unexpected response as he ran his rough fingers along Rose's fuzzy hair. "Don't forget about the seafood platters."

"Sweetheart, I'll never forget about the seafood platters," he promised, turning to look at you as his head sank back against the couch. "Your mom and dad are serious about moving out here."

Your smile started to fade away. "Yeah, Roo. They are. And I thought you were pleased by that fact."

"I am." His brown eyes remained fixed on yours. "I am. I told you I was. I want them close, but not too close. Like, I don't want them next door where they can hear me call you my filthy little slut or something."

"Bradley," you said, laughing again as he took Rose in his hands to burp her.

"They don't need to know the ins and outs of how you call me Daddy while you're gagging on my cock either." He kissed the baby on her forehead. "Sorry, Nugget. I'll teach you one day how babies are made, and you'll probably cringe the whole time."

You sighed and reached for Bradley, cupping his jaw in your hand and stroking his mustache with your thumb. "My parents are seriously getting their house ready to sell. So just give it to me straight."

He nodded. "I don't want them over here all the time, okay? I love them, I really do, but they take over our house when they come. And even though we finished the attic so they could have a place to stay when they're here, Rosie can move her bedroom up there when she's older. So it wasn't a waste of time since the contractor saw your tits."

"It was a photo of my tits! I didn't just whip them out for him to see!" Now Bradley was laughing as you said, "It sounds like you're worried about having some boundaries if my parents become our new neighbors."

"Yes," he replied, nodding as you ran your fingers along his jaw. "That."

"I'm sure we can have a conversation with them and address all of your concerns." Rose seemed to be done burping, and you were treated to the view of Bradley cuddling your four month old against his chest. "Now, can you tell me what else made you have a bad day at work?"

"What makes you think I had a bad day?" he asked, placing soft kisses on Rose's cheek. "I could never have a bad day when I get to come home to my girls." You sighed as he ran his nose along her hair and inhaled deeply before he met your gaze. "Okay. It's not the end of the world, but Mav informed me that I need to take a trip to the Naval Airstation in Fort Worth. I don't really have any details yet."

"Okay," you replied softly, finally voicing what had been on your mind. "Well, maybe Rose and I can come with you for a few days? I can't remember exactly how much vacation time I have left, but it could be fun. And you did say the next trip should be for the three of us to enjoy together."

Bradley shrugged and immediately said, "Fort Worth in August? Baby Girl, it's going to be miserably hot. I know you, for some reason, miss the east coast humidity, but this is going to be gross. Ask Jake about it, he's from that ridiculous state."

You couldn't believe how quickly he shut it down. "It was just an idea," you mumbled, watching him snuggle the baby. "So you wouldn't have to miss Rose the whole time while you're away."

His head tipped back as he sighed. "I'm taking this new position so I can hopefully deploy less often and be here more later on. Even if I have to start working longer days, a week or two away from home is nothing compared to five months."

You bristled. "I understand that, Roo. We've talked about this so much. But maybe try to be a little bit more patient with the idea of my parents moving here so I can have a support system when you're busy?"

When you stood and rushed toward the bedroom, Bradley was right behind you, hand reaching out to grab your shoulder while he still held Rose tight. "Are you mad at me?"

Your stomach roiled with irritation, annoyance and disdain. You hated when you got like this, because he was the one who could bring out the best and also the worst in you. "I don't know."

-------------------------------

You were kind of quiet at home. Bradley hated it. You were a bit more vocal during sex, but that certainly didn't make him feel any better about the rest of it.

"I have my dates for Fort Worth," he informed you when he strolled in from work with some yellow flowers and a new book for Rose. Today was important to him. He wasn't sure you'd remember why, but he still wanted to acknowledge it.

"When?" you asked, continuing to make dinner while he looked around for the baby. "She's napping in her crib," you added, seemingly knowing he always wanted his daughter nearby.

"Second week of August," he replied. "So, pretty soon. But just for a week." You nodded as Bradley walked closer, and he realized what you were cooking. "Marry Me Rooster?"

"Yeah." Your voice was soft as you looked at him over your shoulder. You were also still wearing your khaki uniform, and he could tell you were tired. He was tired, too, but he wanted things to feel more natural around here again. He didn't want to accept that this was just how things would be now when the two of you were taking turns getting up with Rose all the time.

He wished he hadn't made such a fuss about your parents, because he really did love them, and it would be nice to have some help occasionally. And now he felt like you were continually annoyed with him, and he had to figure out a way to fix this.

Your voice broke into his thoughts. "It's kind of a special day?" 

You sounded unsure. Like you thought maybe he didn't remember. But a smile immediately found his lips, and he gestured to the flowers. He should have known you'd remember. You remembered everything. You just made him a seafood platter to celebrate Carole's birthday the other day.

"I proposed two years ago." You visibly relaxed at his words as you took the flowers in your hands. He stroked the diamond ring on your finger as he said, "I couldn't wait another minute after I found this in the storage unit. I needed you to wear it. I needed you to say yes." You melted into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. "Can I go ahead and propose something else right now?"

You nodded and hummed, lips brushing the scars on his neck. "I'm just happy you remembered."

"Sweetheart, I remember everything," he promised. "And I propose that we plan a trip for the three of us before the year is over. We can go anywhere you and the Nugget want."

Your eyes lit up as he cupped your perfect cheek in his hand. "I have so many ideas, Roo."

"I knew you would. Can I make another proposal?" When you raised one eyebrow, he whispered, "How about we mess around before Rose wakes up?"

He was already wrapping his arms around you, turning you toward the hallway when you said, "But what about dinner?"

"We'll be fast," he replied confidently, turning off the stove burner.

"You're never fast! You like to linger!"

"It's a new era, Baby Girl. The mom and dad era. I'll learn how to be quick so we can finish before she wakes up."

This was the closest thing to a true quickie Bradley had experienced in a long time. Maybe ever. You were pushed up against the wall just inside the bedroom, belt jingling with your pants down around your thighs. He was going hard at a nice, steady pace with his hand inside your bra. Your warm milk dripped between his fingers and along his palm as he whimpered. 

"Oh, I love this so much," he whined as his other fingers found your clit. "I'm not happy about making this quick. I might need more later."

He could already hear Rose getting restless in the nursery down the hallway, her soft cries ramping up as Bradley slammed his cock into his wife. He wanted to make sure he got you off before he was done, but then you went and said something so hot, he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer. 

"I could always nurse you later if you want."

When he came, his vision flooded with dizzying color. Bradley lapped your milk from his hand, moaning your name as his hips eventually slowed. Rose was wailing now as you bent down to pull your pants up, cum dripping down your inner thighs as you looked at him with a little grin.

"I take it you're interested in my offer."

"Absolutely," he rasped, pulling his pants up so he could go say hi to his daughter. "If I ever say no to your tits, something is definitely wrong, Baby Girl. That would be your cue to take me out back and finish me off." You laughed when he said, "Happy engagement anniversary. I'll go take care of the Nugget."

-----------------------------

"When's the wedding?" you asked Jake as you dropped your tray next to his at lunch. He was eating the most delicious looking burger and a slice of pizza, and your soup and salad looked pitiful next to them. Seemingly no matter what you did, you'd stopped losing weight since the baby was born, and right now you were so exhausted, you couldn't even think about starting an exercise regimen.

"We've been engaged less than a month," Jake drawled, shoving some of the accompanying fries into his mouth. "Maybe some of us can wait a little longer to get hitched than your husband could, Angel." You rolled your eyes dramatically at him, but you were fighting a smile. "I'm trying my best to make sure that everything is in order for Jeremiah, if I'm being honest."

"Like what?" you asked, blowing on a spoonful of your soup.

Jake heaved a deep sigh, dragging a fry through ketchup. "He already calls me 'dad'. His speech was delayed, but it was still one of his first words, probably because I was around so much. I want to make sure Cat's ex doesn't get any rights, and if that means I need to hire another legal team before we get married, then so be it."

Tears stung your eyes as you patted his cheek gently. You knew you were lucky that you and Bradley were together and that he would do anything to take care of his child, but right now you were just so happy for Jeremiah. "He's such a sweet kid, Jake. And you love him so much."

"I do," he replied before taking an enormous bite out of his burger. You let him chew in silence while you picked at your lunch. Right now, you really wished Bradley was here, but the chances of him showing up were slim when he was out shadowing Maverick again. He was leaving in a few days for Texas, and you were feeling pretty emotional. It would just be you and Rose at home for a whole week by yourselves.

"Well, if you're looking for a nice venue, I know a good parking lot."

Jake barked out a laugh. "There's too much sentimental Bradshaw bullshit in that parking lot. No way I'd be allowed to get married there."

Then Cat showed up, and Jake's attention immediately shifted to her. You poked your salad around on your plate, wondering why you were so damn tired. You still had four more hours of work to get through before you had to pick Rose up and make dinner. Maybe you could just get pizza. But you shouldn't. But it sounded so good as you watched Jake eat his. But your hips and belly were already so big, you couldn't let yourself.

Your afternoon was filled with checking code that someone in Annapolis had entered, and they'd done a really shitty job. When you left your office, your eyes were tired, and you could feel yourself caving. You ordered a pizza and picked it up on your way home with Rose. Then you ate half of it on the couch while you fed her. And when you were done, you really wanted to cry, because you didn't know why you couldn't control yourself right now.

"I'm starving," Bradley groaned when he walked in. "You got pizza?" he asked, shoving two slices stacked up on top of each other into his mouth and moaning. Then he dropped down onto the couch and polished them off while you switched Rose to your other side. "I need to remember to pack my dress blues for Fort Worth."

"Why?"

Bradley shrugged and reached for the next slice. "Apparently, there's some sort of reception for the aviators that are selected for Top Gun in the fall. I don't know how much sway I'll have, but I'm really hoping I can pick some good ones for the next generation of the program since I'm aging out."

"You're not aging out, Roo!" you gasped. "You chose a different career trajectory!" 

"I mean..."

"Stop. You're not old. Don't even try to tell me you're old."

"I'll be forty soon."

"You're thirty-eight."

"That's almost forty."

"You look like a DILF."

He reached for the last slice of pizza, folded it up and ate it while he reached for Rose. Like usual, she curled up on her father. Her features looked so much like his, but he was always the first one to argue with you about that, so you said nothing while he chewed up his food.

"I need you to help me pack for hot as hell Texas. I'm thinking just shorts besides my flight suits and uniforms?"

"I'll help you as soon as Rose goes to sleep for the night."

Bradley took the reins for the rest of the evening while you tried not to fall asleep before the baby. That was much easier said than done, but at least Bradley supervised tummy time while Tramp licked Rose, and then he gave her a bath. He read bedtime stories and changed her into pajamas so you didn't have to, gently setting her in her crib before joining you where you sat in bed yawning.

"You okay?" he asked, brushing his lips along your cheek before heading to the closet to start pulling out clothes to pack.

"Yeah. I just wish I didn't order the pizza, because it's empty calories, and it probably made me feel worse and more exhausted in the long run."

"But it was delicious," he muttered, piling up some of his favorite tropical print shirts. "Be honest, how many of these do you think I'll need?"

You snorted. "Unless every night is happy hour at the Copacabana, probably none. But knowing you, I'd pack at least two."

"See, you understand," he muttered with a smile as you chose two of your favorites and handed them to him. It was strange watching him load things into a duffle bag for something other than a deployment or special mission. You knew exactly how long he'd be gone. You knew it was just for a week and that he could FaceTime you and Rose whenever he wanted to, but it still felt like you were sending him away.

"We're going to miss you." 

He immediately tossed the bag onto the floor and joined you in bed. "Don't cry, Baby Girl," he whispered, swiping at tears you hadn't realized were already filling your eyes. "I'll barely be gone at all. And I don't even have to finish packing tonight. I can do it later."

You nodded and let him envelope you in his warmth. That's how you eventually fell asleep.

----------------------------------

"This sucks," Bradley said for probably the hundredth time in the past hour. Standing at the curb at San Diego International Airport with a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter, being forced to leave them for a week, was actually awful. He didn't want to go. He wanted to continue to cradle Rose against his chest with his arm wrapped around you until he missed his flight.

"You have to go now so hopefully you can do this less frequently in the future," you whispered, voice shaky with emotion. You looked really tired, and Bradley knew you wouldn't get much of a break this week. That's why he'd arranged for Nat to check on you at home a few times whether you wanted her to or not.

"Count on it, Sweetheart," he murmured, placing kisses to Rosie's soft hair as her little fingers poked at the insignia pins on his uniform. "And I need you to be a perfect Nugget for Mommy. I'll call later tonight after I get settled in the barracks."

"Okay." Your voice was muffled as you buried your face against his neck. "I love you."

"I love you both," he promised, collecting his final kisses from Rose before buckling her into her car seat in the back of the red Bronco. Then he got a particularly filthy kiss from you that left both of you grinning before you started to shove him toward the airport entrance.

"You need to go or you'll miss your flight. And then Mav will be on my case about it."

Before he ducked inside, he cupped his free hand to his mouth and shouted, "I love you!" He watched you blow him a kiss and then pull away from the curb before he headed to the counter to drop off his bag. 

He hated traveling like this, in his uniform. It felt like everyone milling around, trying to check their bags, was looking at him. He was only wearing it today, because he wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived at a base he'd only visited one time years ago. The last thing he wanted was to seem unprepared in front of an admiral, so he wore his khakis as a precaution.

"Lieutenant Commander. Where are you headed?" asked the airline agent when she looked at his pins.

Impressed, he replied, "Dallas-Fort Worth."

She took his duffle, wished him a good flight, and then Bradley slept for the entire time he was in the air. Maybe you weren't the only one who was exhausted, because the nap seemed to do wonders for him. He woke up feeling rested, and just as soon as he sent a text letting you know he landed, he was off in search of a rental car.

To his absolute delight, all he had to do was ask nicely and flash his most charming smile, and he was handed the keys to a brand new, black Bronco. It was a model year newer than your red one back at home, and he was excited to scrutinize all of the little differences as he drove it around for the week.

"Don't like the lack of a car seat," he muttered, tossing his bag onto the backseat where he was so used to seeing Rose's infant carrier. 

Was he really that guy? Did he already miss his kid enough that he had to open up the photo gallery in his phone and scroll through a few pictures before he could drive away? Apparently he was, and it made him ache to be away from her. This was so much worse than going to La Jolla without his daughter, because right now, he had neither of you.

When his stomach started rumbling for dinner, he drove to the barracks and showed his identification, only to be told his room wasn't ready yet. So he went right back out to the Bronco in search of dinner. He knew the name of a tavern popular with officers in the area, so he typed it into his GPS and headed in the direction it told him. He had to laugh, figuring he was about to walk into the Lone Star version of the Hard Deck, but that's kind of what he wanted right now. Dinner somewhere that felt comfortable if not familiar.

"Oof." It looked like a dump compared to his bar at home, but it seemed popular, and he was hungry enough that it didn't matter. When he walked in, he took a quick survey of the space before grabbing an empty stool at the bar. He ordered your favorite beer and a sandwich and took his phone out, careful not to set it on the bar in case the owner was part of some sort of association along with Penny.

He tried reading an article, but he felt as though he was being watched. Bradley tried to ignore it, fairly certain he didn't know anyone on base here, but the feeling nagged at him while he ate. The twang of music playing on the jukebox was distracting, but not distracting enough. When he finished his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin, he picked up his bottle and drained the rest of his beer while he glanced around. 

Then he saw a young woman in a flight suit playing pool not too far from his spot at the bar. Her bright blue eyes were focused on his face, and her lips curled into a grin before she bent to sink her shot. Her patches told him she originated from Virginia Beach like he did, and that her call sign was Indigo. As Bradley turned, ready to sign his bill and leave, he saw her approach out of the corner of his eye.

"Can I help you?" he asked, turning her way again with one eyebrow raised. She was attractive, even up close, and he remained silent while her gaze traveled from his face down to his chest where his name tag was displayed. Then she gasped in delight.

"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," she said, eyes snapping back up to meet his. "All the way from Top Gun. I've been waiting to meet you for weeks, Sir."

------------------------------

Well, I hope BG is having a nice time at home without her husband. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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[endless-ineffabilities]

some mildly spicy Ewan 'The Iceberg' Mitchell headcanons for your imaginative indulgence

I want 'em all to see you look good on top of me At this time at night, I need not one, not three Just your two hands on me like my life needs savin' Let 'em all know

a/n: inspired by the release of the song 2 hands. purely self-indulgent, purely fictional, and nothing more. no explicit bits, because I steer clear of those for rpfs. so on your marks, get set...

main masterlist

✨️ He would be the most gentle partner during your first time together. Not rushing in the slightest as he prepares you, making sure you feel good and comfortable every step of the way, going down on you like it's his last meal on earth. He'd want to maintain eye contact, even as you fall apart underneath him. He would clean you up afterwards, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you fall asleep in his arms.

✨️ He is, of course, sweet and attentive and tender in bed. But the more you get to know him, the more he reveals his rougher, dominant side. You would find out that they were all right about him—while he does keep to himself a lot, Ewan is indeed secretly naughty >:)

✨️ There will be moments when he would be unsure, his eyes would flit all over the room then back to you, and you would know that he's biting back a question.

✨️ What is it, baby? — Hmm, nothing. — C'mon, Ewan. — I was wondering if... if I can take... pictures of you? — Of course, I mean... you already take a lot of pictures of me. — No, I mean... pictures. — Okay. Pictures. What...? — (he'd bury his face in your neck, as if ashamed) I want one where I can see my baby. Every single bit of my baby. — Oh.

✨️ And so that'll be the start of Ewan's most prized album in his phone. Suddenly, the lad will have a knack for photography. He'd capture all the right angles.

✨️ The boy is needy as hell. He'd actually whine in protest when he wants to do it, when he craves you, and you'd brush him off because you're busy working or you're in a rush to go to a meeting.

✨️ Baby, c'mon, just stay. — Ewan, I have to go to work. — I'm a successful actor, I can provide for you, baby. You don't ever have to work again. — Ewan, you're so ridiculous. — Okay, fine, fiiiiiine. But... just give me 10 minutes please. — I really gotta go, babe. — Alright, 5 minutes. Promise to make you scream.

✨️ He's a sucker for neck kisses. It tickles him a little when you nibble on the underside of his jaw, the crook of his neck. He could just lie there forever with his head tilted back and his fingers threaded in your hair.

✨️ But as much as he likes receving neck kisses, he likes doling them out even more. Hickeys stir a primal instinct in him, he likes seeing you covered—branded—in them. As if they prove that you're his and only his.

✨️ His favourite sight is watching you in the throes of climax. His second favourite is when you look up at him as you're on your knees, holding his gaze as you bring him closer to the edge.

✨️ Your bits and bobs would not be in places where you left them. The childhood photo of yours that you tacked onto the board above your desk — in Ewan's wallet. Your favourite piece of lace underwear — for some reason, in the hidden inner pocket of his trusty travel backpack. Your old hairtie — snug around his wrist, because he'd want to keep something of yours on him at all times (and! also useful in case you'd be in a new city together, for example, and you need 10 minutes and your hair neatly kept away from your face).

✨️ Ewan (the true blue cinephile) likes a cheeky fumble in the screen-lit darkness of the cinema. This means that you know to wear a skirt during your movie dates, to give him easy access as his hand wanders under your folded-up coat on your lap. He'd keep his head forward, watching the film as he buries his digits, but his darkened eyes give him away.

✨️ As much as he loves seeing you in nothing but your underwear and one of his metal t-shirts, wearing his clothes for long would be a challenge — the moment he catches sight of you like that, he's instantly turned on. That Metallica shirt would meet the floor. But... there would be times when he would want to have you with nothing but that on.

✨️ He wouldn't mind if you accidentally call him Aemond in the middle of it. It even spurs him on. He would also beg you to please call him my Prince or Prince Regent.

✨️ You would help him practice his lines. One thing in particular—he would want to fully act out the steamy scenes between Aemond and Alys with you, so he could carry that memory of you in his performance.

✨️ He would drive you both around in the old Ford he got from his dad as a gift for his 22nd. You like that he still uses the same car, even as his success continues to grow. And you would become quite familiar with every inch of that newly upholstered backseat.

✨️ If you ask him, he'll tell you he's keeping that car until it's nothing but rust on wheels. Every faint stain and tiny scratch on the leather a reminder of heated moments (fogged up windows, tangled limbs, sharp commands, gear shifts, riding) too precious to part with.

✨️ Not to mention, that backseat is his favourite location to do it in. And it's yours too ;)

[kaylapocalypse]

Idk if this helps or if you're even looking for suggestions, but I have relatives like this and I tend to buy them experiences.

I've bought concert tickets for my parents to old people bands they like. I've bought restaurant gift certificates, gift certificates to spas.

I've also created variety packs of things. My father in law, a man with more money than god, got a collection of licorices from all over the world, purchased individually. My Sister in law, who offhandedly mentioned she's learning to cook, I got a full spice collection. Each one individually the best rated by cooks (not the most expensive, the one everyone likes!! some were niche overseas versions of cinnamon, others were like Target brand but the best liked)

I've also done christmases that are money christamses. Everyone gets a set amount (25-50$) and one food item that I am confirmed that they like (inexpensive, I'm talking pickles, chocolate, etc)

In the most dire circumstances when I do not AT ALL know what someone likes because we aren't close, I get them socks. Specifically, I get them the coziest softest socks ever. The kind of socks that make anyone alive want to take their shoes off and put on the socks. Most people have feet, most people wear socks. almost everyone alive loves things that are soft. An important part of the sock gift is that it must be packaged like a luxury item (regardless the cost). You may have the urge to switch to a scarf. Do not. Socks are better received than scarves.

For people in warm places where the sock gift won't work, I buy them fruit. Specifically, a variety basket of well wrapped fruit. This is a great gift for multiple people who live together because its like you're giving a gift to the "house". Also, if you do this enough, the gift receivers start expecting it (positive) and looking forward to it for the whole year and actually get disappointed if you get them anything other than fruit. (this is a good food gift because it has to be consumed within a time limit so it doesn't add to "too much food around" houses)

If its someone I have a work relationship with/slightly more professional, instead of giving wine/alcohol, I give them coffee. One bag of very interesting pre-ground beans and a gift card to either starbucks or dunkin donuts depending on how fancy-pants they are. If I know they don't drink Coffee, I change this to Hot-Chocolate.

For older people who are sentimental, I sometimes offer services. Digitize their music library and give it to them on a cheap device. Clean their tools and box them. Organize their photo collection and put it in a singular album. For gifts like this, you need time and to tell them earlier than christmas. They always enjoy you coming over to participate in doing this gift and then on christmas day, they get to show everyone what you did.

For my little sister I bought her a home cleaning. Around the holidays, youngish people (18-27) value this kind of gift immensely and don't tend to get wierd and defensive about it like if you gave this to your mom.

For men you're not close to, they get excited about upgrades and replacements to items they already own. Your dad has a drill, get him an even more souped up drill. Your brother has headphones? get him even more souped up headphones. Men you're not close to also LOVE if you give them research about the thing you got them. "i already have a drill" "oh man, i know, but this drill is Mens Magazine's pick for the year and has [long list of cool attributes.] here is a thing about all it can do!"

and lastly, If I don't want to give an item but I do like them and want to be with them, I will schedule a "catching up" dinner and pay for both of us, treat them to anything they want.

I hate buying Christmas presents. I don't know what my family want or need. We are simply not that close.

[bryan-writes]

Hey! I don't know if you take requests but I like collecting headcanons of people

so do you have some Obey me headcanons?

Have a wonderful day<3. (if you don't take requests then feel free to ignore)

Hello anon, I hope this is what you were asking for! Thank you sm for the request, I hope you have a wonderful day as well lovely<3!

Obey me headcannons— the seven brothers

Just a bunch of cute head cannons I have about the brothers :)

No warnings!

Lovely dividers by @cafekitsune <3

Lucifer

A total plant dad in secret! He has a small collection of rare plants in his office (hidden away from Mammon ofc). He enjoys their low-maintenance nature and often has a calming ritual of watering them and reflecting after a long day. You found out by accident once, and gift him small plants whenever you visit the human realm (a spider plant, dracaena, snake plant).

He's a classical vinyl collector. I feel like this one’s pretty popular, but he has an extensive vinyl collection (mainly of classical or jazz) and insists they sound better than any digital recording he’s heard. He prefers to listen to them alone, insisting his brothers will only ruin the experience, but he’ll never deny or turn you away if you ask to join him.

He’s a total fancy sleepwear enthusiast. You’d think it’d be an Asmo thing, but Lucifer has a collection of luxurious silk and satin pajamas. He believes that “even in sleep, one must uphold dignity” (he gave you that speech the first week when you wobbled through the kitchen in an old, stained band shirt).

Mammon

He’s absolutely adored by stray animals in the Devildom, but especially by cats. They tend to follow him around (much to Satan’s dismay), and he’s always a bit flustered about it but secretly loves it. Sometimes he’ll even sneak treats and treasures to them (things like fancy ribbons and long necklace chains).

He’s a total hoarder too, keeping a collection of things that remind him of you specifically— small trinkets, wrapped, tickets/receipts, photos (I wrote a oneshot for this if you want more!). He keeps them hidden, safe from his brother’s prying eyes and questions.

He also has a ton of good luck charms. A little ceramic ladybug, a pressed four-leaf clover, crystals, a horseshoe, etc. He’s convinced they’ll bring him good luck and fortune in his schemes, even if he doesn’t quite remember where they all came from. His favorite good luck charm is you though. He refuses to leave the house in the mornings without a good luck kiss.

Levi

It’s no secret that Levi loves the ocean, keeping a fish tank that he’s decorated to look like the real deal. He’ll watch Henry swim around in the rare moments he’s unwinding, taking the quiet time to find inspiration for his gaming and anime stories.

He totally has an otaku daily planner that he’s decorated with anime stickers and fan art. He tracks everything from game release dates to plans with you— which he surrounds with little hearts. He’ll doodle in free spaces and will bring it with him everywhere.

He’s a total random trivia buff, with a surprising amount of knowledge for most obscure topics. He’s like the caps of Snapple bottles, popping off with a random fact that relates to the conversation every now and then.

Satan

Satan is an avid audiobook listener. He likes to experience different narrations of the classics he loves, often falling asleep to them. There have been countless times where he’s recorded you reading to him just to later listen to your voice when he naps.

Over the years, he’s secretly given each of his brothers a nickname of a cat breed based on their personalities. He calls Mammon a Bengal (for their boldness) and Lucifer a Maine Coon (dignified and regal) for example. Nobody knows he does this, and would rather die than tell anyone.

Satan is a tea connoisseur. He loves to experiment with different tea blends based on his current read. He’ll make a “Wuthering Heights” blend on stormy days or a “Sherlock Holmes” blend when he’s feeling particularly investigative.

Asmo

Asmo has a vast collection of rare perfumes and fragrances from both the human and demon realm and can identify perfumes by smell alone. He’ll often make blends for you that he thinks “capture your essence”, and makes you wear them on date nights.

He creates outfits based on moods, and very rarely based on occasions or weather (although whatever he wears is beyond beautiful anyway). If he’s feeling even slightly out of sorts, he’ll wear a specific scarf to “help align his vibes”, insisting you wear a matching one with him.

Asmo has an elaborate manicure routine, and he offers special “spa nights” just for you (it’s become a weekly routine). He does all of his brother's nails, but never treats them to full nights of face and hair care that he does with you.

Beel

He loves to experiment with recipes, trying to come up with “the ultimate snack” with a variety of unique flavors. He has a small notebook filled with random snack ideas he wants to try with you, including “infernal honey nachos” and “fiery chocolate popcorn”.

He will occasionally build the most elaborate and beautiful blanket forts in his room, to hide from his brothers for quiet time and snacks. He’ll sometimes invite you to join him for late-night snack chats.

Beel loves trying to combine Devildom foods with human foods, attempting to make hybrids like “hellberry pizza” or “demonic takoyaki.” He gets super excited when you introduce him to new human-realm foods and suggest new fashion ideas.

Belphie

He has curated playlists for every possible sleeping scenario ever. He has a “nap in a meadow” playlist and an “underwater dream”, which he’ll share with you if you ever want the “perfect sleep/nap vibes.”

Belphie has a habit of sketching while sleepy. He doesn’t remember half of what he draws, but he’s done some surprisingly good doodles of you, the brothers, and his dreams. You’ve started keeping them to collect in a sketchbook for him.

He actually puts some thought into his “lazy look.” He has favorite clothes that he feels make him look effortlessly comfortable and will proudly say, “Fashion is all about making it look like you didn't try.” (You’ve seen him get mad when his hair won’t look ‘the right amount of disheveled’, whatever that means).

[i-am-xp-64]

Lost combat the proven

Help help..-

As the car drive to an old wood house, Zachary carried lim who was unconscious to the basement, where he kept Thomas at

"Hey heeyy..look what I got for you Thomas~"

Zachary throw lim on the floor next to Thomas who was tied up, he let out a chuckle as he get an axe but struggled to find any rope

"What the..oh that tab freak! He taken all the ropes for that damn cult again?? Ugh anyway, that kid can just rot there!"

Zachary whined as he put back the axe, he mumble curses as he went up to call tab about it

Meanwhile Thomas did nothing but stared at lim, his son who was hit on the head, he knew lim is an I'm dead so he won't die but he was still worried about him, he tried so hard not to cry so at least he won't scare lim when he woke up, he waited there all tied and afraid, thinking how's the others are like right now

-Meanwhile-

Jett came out of the therapy place early to go check the others as he come across Vicky on the street, he cursed as she approaches

"𝐽𝑒𝑡𝑡?..𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒?"

"Girl shut up..you don't know what we had this week, anyway, you also going to the house?"

"𝑌-𝑦𝑒𝑎ℎ..𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑙𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛^^"

Jett just sighed as he just nobbed

As they walked near the house, they noticed the door were wide open and there were a little blood on the car road near, Jett looked inside as he called for lim, bit no sounds happened

As jett looking around the house, Vicky go straight to Thomas's and lim's rooms, she alarmed jett that they were not in the house, both panicked as an old neighbor come to the door calling them as they stared

"Excuse me young ones..you two love here?"

"Almost..?"

With out saying anything, the old lady hand them some photos she taken, it was from an old camera but it was showns that lim were taken away and Thomas drive it off, the lady just left as she were nervous as jett and Vicky study the photos to see what's going on

As that, monster, conner and Albert came in, Albert were just came from the surgery and monster helped him walk, meanwhile they were saw conner as he approached and tell monster about the police call that talked around the neighborhood and included their friends, Vicky and jett alarmed them as they shown the photos, monster and conner focused on the photos and others actually surprise to see Albert a little odd

"𝑀𝑟 𝐴𝑙𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑡?..𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒...𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡?"

"𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤..𝐢 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞."

Albert told them everything, including the argument he had with Thomas

"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭..𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟..𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬..𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦"

"Dude shut it, you think Thomas would randomly say all that of he knew this would happen to you? Get your ass together"

Vicky was confused and Albert were sad, meanwhile conner and monster chat thru about the clues

"This car was seen at the old kidnap case of Thomas before..same car, same details, it could be the same kidnapper who taken or mind control Thomas to kidnap lim."

"I think you're right..i will alarm the cops"

"No don't! If that triggers the kidnapper, they'll kill them both"

"𝐽𝑒𝑡𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡..𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑝.."

The others talk as they try to make a plan, meanwhile Albert were felt too guilty to even join in, keep remembering Thomas's words and believed that it was quite his fault, but this time, he lift his head up as he thinked

"𝐍𝐨..𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬...𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬..𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝..."

Albert snapped from his thoughts as he ran outside, notice the car tracks that car left and he began to follow them, monster noticed Albert was gone but before she even do anything, Andrew came in, monster didn't stop, ran out to the police department to alarm as others explain the situation

After an hour later, Zachary was pissed as a lot as he stare at the criminal photo of tab being caught this morning

"Ugh!..i knew I should've do this alone.."

But as he slowly approach to the basement, a gun click sound came and Zachary just froze there

"𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐢 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞."

Albert said as he pull the trigger

BANG BANG💥💥

Zachary fell to the floor as he been shot on the shoulder and leg, Albert walked pass him as he approach to Thomas and lim

To be continue..

@weirdsillycreature @astrodrawz @victiniiiii

Yeah I couldn't able to fit the full one in this so there will be a next chapter, sorry..😅

[bleue-flora]

Alright, by popular demand here it is. There are likely things on here that may not exist yet because the map is from before the finales or don't exist at all or aren’t on this map. I don't know, but that's part of the fun I suppose. :) Feel free to leave the answers in my asks, tag me, or just use the tag: #dsmp scavenger hunt so I can find your posts. <3 Good Luck!

DSMP Scavenger Hunt

Places

1. Staged Duo Island [related post]

2a. Map #1 2b. Map #4 from Dream’s wall in his bedroom cell [related post] (hopefully they are oriented right, I based it on the other wall maps’ orientation)

3. Quackity's storage room (what is in the chests?) [clip]

4. Quackity’s birthday poster (does it really say he’s 28? Or that his birthday is on December 28?)

5. Dream’s house (does he actually have one that’s not the prison or his old secret base)

6a. Revival Book Lab [clip] 6b. Punz's secret underground room

7. Dream’s bed for respawning in the disc confrontation (it had to be close for him to get there so fast [related post])

8. Warden’s prison stasis chamber on the outside [clip]

9. Does Quackity have an in Minecraft calendar? (that Dream mentions [clip] & is shown in vod)

10. Did they make a replica of the cell for the scrapped lore and just never filmed it?

Items

11. Books Dream gave to Techno in prison (are they all empty?)

12. Dream’s letter to Techno

13. Revival Book

14. Are there multiple Enderboo prison waivers for multiple visits?

15. The OG pink bed (shown in old enderchest [from this post] but not later)

16. Does Dream have any named possessions?

17. Dreamrider [clip]

18a. Dream’s blue shield 18b. Smile shield from staged finale

Enchantments

19. Enchantments of Quackity’s netherite low durability axe

20. Enchantments of Quackity’s diamond sword

21. Enchantments of Quackity’s diamond pickaxe

22. Dream’s armor enchantments after prison (how does it compare to Nightmare?)

Questions

23. Would Techno and Dream have been able to escape from under the cell? [clip]

24. Is the End completely untouched? [related post]

25. Are the cow and sheep still at the disc confrontation vault?

Just For Fun - Where are these?

26. KSI portraits from sex class (are there any still around?)

27. DEFINITELY NOT PENIS

28. Dream’s Diary

29. “thanks for visiting” prison book

30. The :) book Sapnap gives to Ranboo from Dream in prison

31. Sam’s book that says "I am not an idiot "over and over

32. The L’manberg photo from the finale [clip]

33. Are there any Tales of the SMP sets?

34. Egg 

35. Bones and Skeppy’s house (in Egg Finale) [clip]

36. Antarctica Tommy got teleported to when he was banned on his first day [related post]

37. The ocean monuments missing elder guardians (for prison build)

38a. Fundy's house in mesa 38b. Fundy’s nightmare set in mesa biome [clip]

39. Dream’s parrot’s grave [Dream's parrot]

Helpful Resources

@sumwan’s post [here] tells how to access inventories

And @seriousbusiness4130 left some helpful replies on my post about finding the loaded chunks of a map:

[pluckyredhead]

for the ask meme: Garth/Koryak + no capes AU?

Ooh this is a fascinating prompt because I don't know how you translate Arthur's...everything...to no capes. Is he royalty but not of an underwater kingdom and no one has superpowers? Is he an Olympic swimmer? Is he "royalty" in the sense that he's super rich or famous? Is he just like...a fisherman?

I think I would go with a modern royalty AU where Arthur is already way more internationally famous than most royalty of tiny coastal European kingdoms are because Atlanna eloped with a commoner (possibly - gasp! - an American) and it's all very dramatic, and that's before you get into whatever the deal would be with Orm in this universe.

And then the scandal and drama continues as Arthur 1) discovers the lost, orphaned child of one of his dukes or something and adopts him, 2) gets married to a princess of another tiny coastal kingdom in THE royal wedding of all time, 3) tragically loses his infant heir in a tragic kidnapping that is like the only international news for days, 4) publicly separates from Meta, 5) starts dating a woman half his age, 6) holy shit now she's dating his not-son??? Atlantean royal gossip is AMAZING. The paparazzi can barely keep up. And that's before some random American (another one!) comes forward and says that King Arthur of Atlantis is his father, and the DNA tests confirm it.

So you have Garth, who has been shoved into a spotlight he never wanted since he was eight years old, hounded by the paparazzi, featured in teen magazines' "11 Cutest Princes" articles and whatnot, always very conscious of his extremely tenuous relationship with Arthur's family. And since he and Arthur reconciled after however the Aquababy thing went down here, Arthur has been trying to find a way to legitimize Garth as his heir.

And you have Koryak, who grew up ostracized, broke, always on the outside, who was going through his mother's belongings after she died and realized that he is a fucking prince who could have been living in a fucking palace all this time, and he is going to get what is owed him, and he doesn't care who doesn't like it.

And meanwhile Arthur's advisors are like "This is Too Much Drama, we are an international laughingstock and Parliament is on the cusp of either making Orm king instead or just dissolving the monarchy entirely (can they do that? whatever)." So Arthur is like "Look, I will admit I have absolutely no idea what to do about this whole...situation, but in the meantime, you two had better look like you're getting along or we're all fucked."

Which leads to 30k of forced proximity, enemies-to-lovers, no capes modern royalty AU featuring scandalous paparazzi photos of Garth and Koryak angrily making out in, like, Atlan's extremely solemn memorial garden or somewhere else equally inappropriate.

[ziggysarcana]

There was a playful glint in Shira's eyes when she had caught his smile, knowing she had been the one to put it there. She leaned back for just a moment, arms crossed over her chest in a way that gave her a look that exuded half-serious and half-amused. "Oh, I definitely don't lie." She purred, voice dripping in the mock-seriousness of a temporary character, a mask that she noticed he tended to slip on from time to time. "Maybe..... I embellish a little, y'know?" It was a joke on her end too, a half-truth. She didn't really lie very much, only about certain things. About things that didn't matter in Cardinal Hill. Shira was still grinning, but there was something so fond in the way her gaze softened just slightly as she watched him. Something about his mannerisms and way of speech that made Silas extremely endearing to her. She took a pause, trying to still the captured bird that was her heart. Thrashing all around. Shira reached forward for the glass, her fingers just barely brushing against his. Fingers buzzing, she brought the liquid to her lips, pointedly where he had taken his drink. Much like he had done just minutes before. A nod. An unspoken checkmate to his prior check.

Shira's breath nearly caught in her throat when he leaned in so close. For a moment the air seemed to still and the playful mask she had put on just for him started to falter -- if only for a moment. His words had a strange effect on her. A nervous excitement that she couldn't place. One that gnawed at her. "Ah, the whole femme fatale thing." Shira mused "I get that a lot." Another giggle bubbling from her, something she found herself unable to stop when in his presence. Her gaze flickered to his lips, for the fraction of a second, nearly indiscernible before he leaned in and gave her the truth. The proximity of him whispering in her ear left her her stifling a shiver that threatened to make it's way down her spine; reeling. Thankful that he couldn't see her in this moment, her eyes fluttered closed, a blush spangling her cheeks. She listened for any hints of a performance this time but there was nothing; just the weight of his words and the meaning behind them. They hung in the air like a taut thread, the sudden shift in his tone was so raw with honesty that it left her more stunned than she would ever admit. For a moment, she couldn't speak, words caught in her throat as she met his gaze. Looking at her like he was waiting for her reaction. The silence suffocating but somehow not uncomfortable. Her lips curled into a slow smile but there was something a bit softer about her features. Something curious. "Oh," Shira murmured "you want to find out? I'd actually be lying if I said I didn't want to see you try." She paused for a moment, her soft smile turning into a smirk. "Sometime's the search is more fun than the answer itself. Wouldn't you agree?"

Her smirk was replaced once more with another smile when he moved closer to her. She tilted her head to she side for a moment so he wouldn't see the goofy state of it. Completely enamored by his presence. How he made her heart beat just a little bit faster every time he looked at her. She thought that the implications of his words would leave a permanent fluster to her cheeks but she still managed to look back at him now. Shira's lips parted for a moment, like she was going to say something but the words were caught. The way he had said it, so candidly and without any hesitation. It made her stop and look at him. Really look at him, despite how flustered she was feeling. She allowed the silence to stretch for a moment, gaze softening. "Oh, I could work with that." She mused, her voice teasing but there was an undercurrent of true sincerity. Shira was used to taking nude photos, having been a photographer for the Portland's Exotic magazine for a number of years. Information she wasn't going to give away so easy, not yet at least. "And I am a photographer, yes. But, I don't like to take any old picture's, I like to capture something real." Which is what she thought he was. Real. "If I take your picture, Silas." His name once more so sweet on her tongue, "I want to see the side of you that you try to hide from the world. If you want me to see." Maybe she would let him in too.

Silas admittedly got a little bit bashful again when Shira teased him again. He couldn't help but laugh as he watched her perform, him being the sole audience memeber. He liked watching her perform, even if it was at his expense, frankly he kind of liked that it was at his expense, he wouldn't admit it though. When she said she wouldn't mind infecting him, it made his heart skip a beat. His face definitely went a strong shade of red, Shira's face in her hands being his saving grace. Seeing her laugh so openly gave Silas a strange feeling, almost like a sickly feeling but nice? Oh god, that might actually just be butterflies. "How could that have come out right!?" Silas said, laughter finally leaving his blushed cheeks. He was mesmerized by how she moved, especially when she was laughing. The way she hid her face in her hands, looked through the gap in her fingers, and put them in her lap. She moved in such a unique way, it was almost hypnotizing. Silas took another, smaller, sip from the glass, and offered Shria another sip from the glass. He wasn't sure whether or not she wanted it, but he would be remiss if he didn't ask. His head tilted at her statement of honesty, he couldn't help but smile, "You also shouldn't tell lies." He said, in a fun tone. Silas has definitely broken promises in his life, more than he would like to admit.

He felt relief as she reaffirmed that his company dosen't concern her. Shira's soft tone, like a surprise to herself, even got Silas a little hung up. He has been looking at her so closely, examining her every light movement, or the way the light touches her soft skin, but he hasn't taken the chance to listen to the way she talks, or the way she breathes. Her voice sounded strange, in a good way, the only way he would be able to describe it is comforting. As she asked him what he was intrigued by, Silas actually had to pause as he considered his answer, a deep perplexion spreading across his face. He found his answer, and recited it in the appropriate noir movie narrator tone. "Probably the femme fatale thing, sitting on a window sill, looking out the window, smoke on your lips. You look like someone who has a secret, a secret that I can't help but want to know." He was a little impressed at what he came up with, he should have written it down, but it wasn't exactly the truth. It was a performance that he said to her, and she deserved better than that. She deserved to know his honest, uneditted thoughts. He leaned in, close to her, his head past her head so he could whisper in her ear, "In all honesty I have no idea what about you intrigues me, but I want to find out." He pulled back, giving her her space back, the smell of Shira's hair leaving him with a buzz, a second hand high.

Silas raised an eyebrow, "A photographer?" He smiled, like he just found out a clue to a mystery, some break in a decade old cold case. He's been photographed countless times, for magazines or the back of his books. He dosen't think he's ever had some want to take his picture, at least without getting paid, it felt nice, especially being told it in a whisper. He couldn't help but move ever so slightly closer to her, her proximity more comforting than the sound of her voice. Her closeness something he has grown to desire. "I'd love for you to take my picture, as long as my clothes stay on." He paused, eyes going upwards in thought, "Actually I'd love for you to take my picture either way." Silas watched her closely, a mischievous grin forming on his face. Just a silly joke, even if he was being completely honest.

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[ohnomalora]

Earth Pirapat & Mix Sahaphap

[sergle]

side note but it's so funny looking through Hugo's puppy pics, and seeing exactly how trained he was by whether or not he has his houseline on.

[sportsthoughts]

.

[cursivebloodlines]

right, i don't think much of anything is getting done tonight because for some reason i've been hit with a massive wave of grief. a random tuesday night and i'm just missing my nan dearly and that's just triggered a bunch of other emotions i guess i've been repressing for the last 2 years so!!! yeah i'm not doing great lols i'll try again tomorrow. much love. x

[theres-a-bea]

birthday cake pt. ii

[deathbyotpin123]

Probably an unpopular opinion and my own fault for spending too much time on social media in the past year but um... I'm bored of seeing the chocolate guy.

[babycharmander]

(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)

I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.

I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).

So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:

"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"

I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:

"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"

It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.

Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...

"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."

He sees himself as a monster.

And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.

"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"

Which... speaking of him and Ford...

Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.

Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)

Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.

And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.

And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.

After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.

He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.

And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.

"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"

I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?

In short,

[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]