#this is an attempt / incentive 2 be here more

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Six

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Six is here, sorry it took a bit but it's been a long week and I've lacked the incentive to actually start writing:/ BUT I honestly do love this next part, so I hope you do too!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy

Masterlist

We’d kept the whole outing on the low during the ride over to Rosie’s school– seeing as the kid couldn’t tag along– and instead spoke of her lessons, what teachers she was dreading as well as the snazzy lunch they’d all been promised the week before, before she then mentioned the call that she’d had with her sister earlier the previous day. Which had ultimately reminded me to text my own on our way over.

After we’d watched the girl waltz up the school steps, bag in hand, Em and I finally managed to pull out of the mayhem that was ‘drop off’, Marshall having received more than his fair share of lingering looks from mums in passing cars and the one teacher that was on lookout, much to my amusement. And so it was only as we drove off that I looked over to find that he was wearing this tiny, barely there smile that on him all but screamed drollery.

“What?” I questioned around a wry chuckle, glancing between him and the stereo whilst I messed around with its many buttons in hopes to find a better channel.

Marshall shook his head minutely at me and continued to drive, though that smile of his stayed put.

“Come on,” I prompted again after settling on a station that would just have to do and hiked up a knee so that I could turn a little to face him better, “What’s got you all smiley?”

He cocked a single brow and shot a look my way. “Smiley?” He repeated sardonically.

“Yes, smiley.” I pestered, then impulsively reached out to drag my finger over the curve of his mouth, not even second guessing the gesture. To my surprise though the action only made him blow out a mirthfilled breath and swat the offending limb away. I bit back my own grin, “It’s this thing, see, that happens when you contract the muscles in your face.”

“Huh,” Em said, pretending to mull the words over before he eventually turned to me wearing the stupidest face, “How many you reckon I’m pulling now, hey? Nah, come on now. How many?” He continued to prod after he’d only received an amused scoff in return from me. 

Marshall pushed away from the steering wheel when we slowed at the next stoplight so that he could lean over the centre console far enough to poke at my side. The move had me laughing at his sudden playful manner, backing me into the passenger door to escape.

“It’s all in the wrinkles!” I exclaimed in retort to his question, exerting myself even further when a hand jumped over again to pinch at my waist in retaliation, “You just gotta pay attention to them and–” I attempted to dodge the next onslaught of fingers which threatened to dig into my side, “and then I reckon you can count the muscles!”

“Fuck you, man.” Marshall snickered in relent, shaking his head at me after one last prod before we both jumped at the sudden sound of a blaring horn. All those facial muscles of his were quick to drop into a prominent scowl at the scare we’d been given when he shot an aggrieved look back at the driver behind us. Em gritted his teeth and switched gears, letting the car roll through the now green light at a pace set just to further aggravate the guy following us.

I rolled my eyes at the second beep and went to gesture something at the other guy when I was hastily reminded of the car’s too-tinted windows, so instead I just slumped a tad in my seat. “Americans.” I clucked, lips then twitching at the way Marshall’s head snapped over to me, eyes narrowed.

“Careful there, woman.”

With an impish grin, I widened my own eyes tauntingly in retort as he sped up, “Or what?”

Those familiar baby blues flickered across the expanse of my face, taking in the faint freckles and the bow of my lip, then they dropped down to the position I’d since manoeuvred myself into, observing, analysing even. Before they eventually slid back out the front window. 

“Tempt me and find out.” Is all that he replied before we were going around the next bend a little too quickly, fast enough to have me bracing myself on the side door just so that I could catch my balance. 

I watched on as he merely smirked, thumbs tapping effortlessly against the wheel to the radio, knowing full well what he’d just done.

I wasn’t ashamed to admit that it was much of the same antics throughout the rest of the journey too, Em pointing out stupid shit just so that he could jerk around and swerve a little too hard, which then prompted me into winding down my window so that I could call shit out to whatever unlucky fucker just managed to be passing by. 

The first time I’d done it he’d almost lost his nut, eyes as wide as dinner plates whilst he’d attempted to reel me back in and away from the window, probably waiting for somebody to recognise us, or rather him. But we’d been gone too quickly, only the last few decibels of my thick English accent trailing through the air behind us. 

I’d practically cackled at the picture he’d painted when I’d fallen back into my seat, his head swivelling every which way in a bad impression of an owl to try and catch a glimpse of the next supposed pap. Eventually though, he’d started to chuckle too, obviously having found somewhat of a thrill in it, and then egged me on to do it again. Not thinking that I actually would.

So we made a game out of it, switching up accents, pretending to know people we didn’t, telling pedestrians that their fly was down or that they had shit on their shoe. Even managed to get someone to knock on some random door, telling them that we were waiting on the guy who lived there. 

The one that Marshall seemed to prefer though was when we’d stopped at another red light and I’d wound down my window once more to start up a conversation with this older looking fella crossing in a pair of sunnies. He’d blinked at me, the guy, when I’d asked him how his husband was doing, questioning the most recent surgery and the man’s pruning addiction, before I’d switched up tactics completely and mentioned the dodgy kebab I’d had the night previous, clinging to my stomach and grimacing through the supposed unease I felt. 

The second the light had flashed green Marshall had floored it, shaking his head at the expression that had marred the poor guy’s face and grinning over at me like a madman. It’d made me wonder when was the last time he’d granted himself a little freedom, instead of constantly stressing about the public and media's perception. It got me thinking.

Soon enough though the crowded city shifted and changed once more, morphing away from the high-risers and scenic views into too many condemned buildings and yellowing sidewalks. I’d leaned forward in my seat to get a better look out of my window as we’d passed by a block of shuttered shops, taking in the swift adjustment. Em though, he only seemed to get more and more tense the further in we drove.

“Oh, shit! Look at that.” I suddenly awed after a short while, eyes having immediately been captured by the grand display of colours which lined the next street we drove down. It was a mural of sorts, painted along the side of what I could only dub as an offie, and so precise that it almost looked like the letters and characters were jumping out at you, forcing you to actually look and see. 

“Fuck, you don’t see work like that often,” I added as we drove on, Marshall’s gaze flickering back and forth between the mural and I before it was out of sight. Me though, I was still grinning and giddily leant in to explain how… “Back home it was all gang tags and area codes, but you could always find the odd piece hidden away if you knew where to look. More central though, you know? They put them on display up there like some kind of gallery, especially in the touristy parts. But in truth, they’re nothing like that– or that!” I found myself gasping again, crowding further forward in the car, enough so that my knees knocked into the dashboard to get a proper look at the next graffiti outline that cropped up.

It was of Diana Ross, afro swooping along the building's top edge as she posed, shoulder facing forward, eyes staring off into the sky above us. Her skin was a flood of blurred blues and vibrant purples, blending into a dark contrast that had been used to further accentuate her features; the long lashes, the effortless pout, and those all too familiar statement earrings.

Passing by, I almost wanted to ask Marshall to stop, I even went as far as to open my mouth to do exactly that until I witnessed the calculating look he’d since taken on. My brow furrowed at the sight of it, but he must have realised me looking all too quickly because in a split second he was watching the road again, face blank as he turned the wheel effortlessly down the next street.

I settled back into my seat and allowed my gaze to linger on the window and the world beyond it, feeling a tad bit settled now that we were away from the hustle and bustle of the inner city. It wasn’t that I disliked it so much that I would go out of my way to avoid it completely, it was just that I’d always been wired that way, no matter where I went. Much preferring the back streets, side alleys and cramped parade of shops to the metal structures that rose cloud high and the people who didn’t give a fuck beyond where they were headed. 

Trips into central London as a teenager, and even now as an adult, I supposed, always seemed to leave me feeling all itchy and cornered. It was just a lot to take in being surrounded by so much mayhem and all I ever really wanted to do once I was able to step through my front door at the very end of the day was to wash it all away completely in a too warm shower.

Even the thought of home had me smiling though, listening as the radio carried on humming out a dull tune, the frequency buzzing every so often. Em stayed tightlipped beside me, hunched in his seat as we drove through the next couple streets full of worn and tired houses, some boarded up, others littered with cardboard boxes and the like.

I licked at my lower lip and shifted after a while, dragging my stare away from the many mailboxes, and how they differed from the letterboxes we had back home, over to Marshall himself. I waited a beat or two, figuring he might finally speak up, but to no avail. “So,” I began instead, voice soft in the stillness that had since encased the car, “You gonna tell me where we’re headed yet?”

There was a pause, and then, “Figured I’d give you a real tour, didn’t I?” His eyes flickered over to me, then darted away again. I gave way to the small bout of patience I seemed to somehow own and it actually paid off because although Marshall’s jaw worked itself around his next bout of words, he did eventually say them, “City’s cool and shit, but it ain’t me.”

Looking over at the man, I observed the way his lips pressed together ever so tighter into a fine line that dimpled his chin and how his brow then furrowed even when his stare on the road didn’t dare falter. After hearing the reply I had an inkling of sorts about where we were heading, but nothing concrete enough to get my hopes up, especially not with the way he was acting. Growing more uneasy the further the wheels beneath us travelled. 

“And what’s that meant to mean?” I wondered aloud, keeping my voice soft and light as my head lolled back to rest against the seat rest and continue watching. The picture of pure innocence.

My gaze tracked the motion of his tongue when he rolled his lower lip inwards to lick over it. His front teeth prominent in the slight gesture, reminding me of the fact that once upon a time they’d been a lot more bunnylike. “You shared some tough shit with me yesterday,” He spoke, releasing his lip just as his hand rose to knuckle the underneath of his nose, “And you know, this is my way of repaying that, I guess.”

I couldn’t help my slight frown, “You don’t need to repay shit, Em. I didn’t tell you all that crap yesterday to gain something from you, especially not something that’s obviously making you uncomfortable– ‘cause yeah, I’d have to be an idiot not to have realised how your shoulders have pinched higher and higher the closer we’ve gotten to wherever the fuck we’re headed.” 

Letting slip a faint chuckle at his slight grimace, my eyes roamed over his side profile, willing him to look back at me and see the sincerity I felt. 

“But telling you about my sister and my past, that was me letting you in, alright? Means we’re friends now, even if you don’t see that. And, you’ve let me into your life too, in your own odd way– into your home even. So whatever you think this is,” I paused to shake my head at his stupidity and couldn’t seem to help the heavy exhale I then let go of, “I don’t know, just. I don’t want it, Marshall.”

Silence settled for a stuttered moment. There, there, there until–

“I know.” He sighed, fingers gripping the wheel a little harder in his evident struggle to form an actual reply, so I gave him another second or two to recite whatever it was that he wanted to say. Like usual, Marshall came through, “I know it ain’t like that. This bullshit truth for a truth thing, I never meant it like that. Just–” 

He released another weighted breath, this time it fanned out into a self-deprecating chuckle as he shook his head at himself. I waited in perch, breath captured somewhere between my lips and lungs. 

“This shit’s jus’ weird for me, yeah. I mean, all my guys are people I grew up with here, the same ones I’ve known since before I met Dre, since ‘fore high school even. I kept them round ‘cause I just couldn’t trust the people in this game, you know. But I did try. Tried bringin’ people in after Z got old enough to realise that me and her mom weren’t never gone work out, but that shit never stuck. They see all this and then they pull away ‘cause they realise too quick that this dump is me, that the man with the money is just that. A man that don’t have to just survive no more. That the cash and the rest of all that bullshit is just something that’s there. ‘Cause it aint never been about that for me, I said it from the start. This stretch of road is the place that raised me. That made me. They don’t understand why I can’t turn my back on that.”

I understood what he was saying in a way. I mean, I didn’t have his level of fame, nor had I been in the game for as long as he had. The man was an icon, not just in his genre but to the kids and the people who had grown up in poverty, who’d been seen as the outcasts. 

But still, it was always hard to see just how far past that line you’d drawn in the sand for yourself that the people you let into your life would get. 

Sometimes, they just bulldozed on through it before you’d even known that you’d been letting them toe at it. 

“I wouldn’t ask that of you.” I murmured after a beat, trying to control the way my chest had torn itself a new hole, something that only tended to happen whenever I let people slip so surely past my own defences. “And I know that you know that, Em. I mean, I’ve listened to your music, heard you even talk a bit about your life before this. So I can sort of comprehend how hard it must be for you to allow me this. But again, you don’t have to.” I assured him with a fond smile, humoured by his rational fear. “You could take me to the studio and we could work on lyrics, or we could just go grab some ice-cream. I’d be happy with whatever, so don’t go beating yourself up over this.”

I laughed lightly afterwards, the sound escaping me almost involuntarily at the thought that then hit me, and felt how my eyes wrinkled with the emotion when he turned to peer over at me. “Also, that was probably the most I’ve heard you talk since I got here.”

Surprisingly, his response to that was to just toss the closest thing he had in my general direction, which ended up being a pink pencil of Rosie’s that had been sitting in the cup holder, its top accented by a feather boa. “Fuckin’ idiot.”

Chuckling away, even though he’d managed to target the pencil somewhere between my collar and sternum, I turned to flash him another grin, mostly just to quietly reassure him that I’d been honest with my previous response and that nothing much had changed with him admitting what he had. “You made up your mind then?”

Marshall’s brow furrowed a tad.

I puffed out another disbelieving laugh, “On where we’re headed. Because I should let you know now that I get motion sick after a while.” It was funny at just how quickly his head snapped round to face me at that, looking vaguely alarmed. I snorted in turn and raised my hands up in a mocking show, “Just saying!”

Em shook his head, appearing forever hassled by me. But then those blue eyes of his strayed back on over and I noted how they’d now taken on a whole new sheen. “Come on then, fangirl. Tell me, the numbers 19946 mean something to you?”

I could only blink in answer but apparently that was all that Marshall had needed as he’d laughed around a growing smirk and slowly pulled into the upcoming street reading Dresden.

I didn’t recognise the name, but he hadn’t been wrong in assuming that I’d know those specific numbers. Although, who wouldn’t when they’d been hung above his head on multiple album covers?

Still it was more than a little surreal to me as we drove on closer, dirt slipping under the SUV’s bulky wheels and wilting trees no taller than me passing us by. I kept on glancing around to try and spot the famous build but was surprised to see a condemned lot waiting for us instead of a row full of houses sat on one side. 

Eventually, the car rolled to a slow stop at a roundabout the midway mark, the street practically empty, aside from the few vehicles parked outside of the neighbouring bungalows and those which lined the low curb. It appeared as though the building I’d been searching for had since been charred and had caved in on itself, leaving only a rubble of brick and a lone standing fence removed of all paint in its wake.

I couldn’t help myself as I unbuckled my seatbelt to turn my bemused expression over towards the man perched beside me. But Em had since turned off the car, his own stare caught on the site the same way mine had. 

“Fire.” He said after some time, the low hum of his voice slipping easily throughout the silence we’d since enveloped into, “State owns it now but they tried to contact me after it happened, seein’ if I wanted to bid or some shit.”

I kept quiet, eyes raking over his face which had since taken on a neutral expression, hands laying still in his lap. Not many could relate to seeing their childhood home condemned, I mean I couldn’t. I'd left our tiny flat on the estate the second I’d gotten the chance and had only returned when Lottie had come along, my hate for it growing greater and greater the longer I’d stayed copped up there. When I’d gotten the money off of my first real deal the first thing I’d done was rent the house my mum lived in now, managing to buy it a year or so later just so that Lotts would have an actual home to grow up in, seeing as though I wouldn’t always be around.

“Hurt, I think.” Em admitted with a slow blink, pulling me from my thoughts. “We moved around a lot when I was a kid, but this here was the one place I considered ours. Why it made the album I guess. That, and it looked tough.” 

We shared a small smile when his eyes flickered over to mine for a split second. 

“This why you made it the second cover too then?” I pondered, leaning in closer against the centre console almost thoughtlessly.

Marshall shook his head minutely, thumb flicking over his forefinger once, twice, three times. “Nah, coincidence. Happened a couple days after the release.”

“Mad.” I breathed out and though it had been an unconscious reaction it garnered an airy chuckle out of the man beside me.

“No shit,” Marshall hummed in turn, mouth twitching ever so. “I mean, didn’t expect it but it felt like some sort of weird sign from the universe.” 

I couldn’t help but silently agree with the statement, dragging my gaze away from the lot when the audible click of his seatbelt coming undone sounded. “You been back since?” I asked. It was October now, so almost a year later.

A dip of his chin gave me my answer, before his jaw then ticked beneath gritted teeth. He dragged in a long breath then let it go. “It was a dump even before the fire, all boarded up– had been for years.” He told me, his voice low, “Can remember a lot happenin’ here though.”

My head tilted towards him at the quiet admission and my smile answered it in the same soft ease, “Oh yeah, like what?”

He took a moment to think it through, then this smile etched itself a home on his lips. “Nate, my brother. I remember ma coming home with him from the hospital, seeing the kid wrapped up in this big blue blanket. Man, he was this tiny thing. Jus’ couldn’t wrap my head around it.” He wet his lower lip and his eyes darted back over to the property as though he could visualise it all playing out again, “I was like thirteen, I think. Had been waitin’ for her to get back from, wherever the hell she’d been– ‘cause see, ain’t nobody told me that the woman had even gone into fuckin’ labour.” 

The laugh that trickled out of him at that was unbelieving, as though he still couldn’t accept that fact even now. My own smile grew a little wider. 

“Was here that I wrote my first real song, too.” Marshall revealed after a brief pause, blue eyes meeting mine just before his shoulders slumped a tad, “‘d been writing for years ‘fore that but nothing I was truly excited by, you know. Actually ended up usin’ parts of it in a battle a couple years later, can’t remember against who though, but it stuck with me.” 

I could picture that. A baby Em cooped up in his bedroom writing away for hours on end, losing himself in the words and their meanings. Finally feeling like he’d managed to create something people might react to. 

“Remember it now?” I asked him with an impish grin, my tone teasing but even I wouldn’t say no to a little rendition. But alas, he simply shook his head. Although, I was gifted a round of effortless chuckles. I shrugged, “Worth a try.”

Rolling his eyes, Marshall allowed his arm to come to rest right beside my own on the console stationed between us, he looked to me, “And here I figured you’d grow bored with all this crap.”

My mouth parted in a playful gasp, though there was a big part of me that was really shocked he’d even thought it. “Bored? You could go show me a dumpster you shat behind and I’d be like ‘ah right, that’s cool’.”

He levelled me with an unimpressed stare that had me choking back a cackle. It was almost too easy with him.

“Fine, maybe not.” I relented with another grin as I nudged my arm against his, “But, I don’t know. I’m intrigued, is all. I like knowing shit about the people I care for, even the weird parts. Like, take my mate Sal, yeah? I’ve known him since we were youngens and this guy was always up to something dodgy, but after his nan passed he kind of just dropped off the face of the Earth. None of us heard from him for ages.” I revealed, my own gaze straying back towards the lot, picturing a two storey town house stood there instead. “Didn’t know it before, but he’d lived with the woman his whole life, she’d raised him. So when she moved on, it was like he had nothing left to live for, you know?”

I figured most, if not everyone, had gotten to a point like that at some time or other. Though Sal had been fifteen back then and that had ultimately meant care and getting social services involved, and for a kid like him with a few dots on his record, it had been hell. 

“I went round and knocked a couple days before the funeral, but he didn’t open up. Neighbour said she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since the paramedics had arrived the week before.” It felt weird explaining this now, not when I hadn’t thought about it in so long, but I wanted Marshall to understand where I was coming from and this was the first story that had come to mind. “I ended up grabbing Danny and had him kick Sal’s back door in– which had been impressive if you’d have known the kid before he enlisted. Scrawny as fuck our Dan, but built like a beanpole.”

Em huffed out an amused chuckle through his nose, recapturing my attention. My eyes slid over to him and I smiled, noticing I’d lost myself a little there.

“Anyway,” I tittered, shaking my head ever so, “I ended up finding Sal upstairs in the tub. He hadn’t been about to do anything stupid, mind, was just sort of sat there staring into nothing. Hardly even recognized me when I finally shook him out of it, but then I managed to get him down the stairs and into the kitchen. We made tea, I forced him to chew on some toast, and it was then that the dam broke, I ‘spose. He just let it all go. Everything he’d been feeling.” 

I swallowed at the memory even then, of the tears and the snot, the way Sal’s eyes had kept drifting away. But then Marshall’s arm was pressing closer to mine and the touch drew me back to the present.

Blinking, I peered back at the man. “Eventually, he sobered up and sort of apologised for the state he was in. But it hadn’t bothered me none. Got him up and walking about, and he took that as a sign to show me about the house. Sort of like going down memory lane.” 

I laughed softly then, unable to help myself, none of us had ever visited Sal’s in all the years we’d known him but somehow I’d been lucky enough to have been the first. 

“They had this height thing in their kitchen doorway that measured Sal’s growth throughout the years. Fucker went from 5’4 the year of ‘96 before the next indent of change had been jotted down. 6’1,” I told Em around a humorous grin, vividly picturing the multicoloured markings, “He’d always been lanky, would have fit better as a ladder than the trady he now worked as.” I let slip, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, “But less than a year had passed between the two measurements and all I can remember is us just laughing about it. And then about how his nan hadn’t even managed to reach 4 foot 10.”

Marshall’s chuckles filled up the car, easing the emotions I’d gone and dredged up. “How ‘bout now?”

I thought about it. I hadn’t seen Sal in a couple months, but he was my go-to whenever I needed something doing, a proper handyman and somewhat on the straight and narrow. “Uh, hitting that 6’6 mark now. I think?”

Em blew out a long breath. “Shit.”

Laughing, I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. “Yeah, he towered above everyone at school and that was before I left, so I couldn’t even imagine the leaver’s pictures.”

Our amusement radiated between us, our arms still pressing tightly against one another even though the console could have fit a whole other arm either side of us. The radio’s hum was kept low and so I heard the slight rustle Em’s trousers made when he moved and his knee pushed against the dash. “You left?”

Stupidly, it took me a minute to understand his question and when I did I ended up dipping my head in a show of reply. It wasn’t something I was proud of, leaving school, nor embarrassed about, but it wasn’t something I spoke about very much. Especially not since I’d garnered a base full of dedicated fans. It was one thing to say you didn’t like school but to admit you’d practically dipped and failed out was another thing altogether.

“How old was you?” Marshall asked, looking genuinely curious.

I toyed with the cuff of my sleeve, thinking back on it. “Uh, fourteen? I think.”

“Wow.” He blew out, then grinned, “Got me beat.”

It was the last thing I expected him to come out with, but it was what I’d needed. I laughed before I glanced over at him, a little surprised to find him already looking back. “Why, how old were you?”

“Seventeen.” Em admitted, lips tugging up on one side far enough to form a small crater in the hollow of his cheek, before he let it go and released a huffed chuckle, “Failed the ninth grade three times over. Figured I’d just stick to what I was good at.”

Music, I figured, and thank God for that.

“I just hated it.” I replied, voice breathy but steady. “Messed with my head and I had shit going on at home. Figured it was easier to leave it all, so I did.” I shifted in my seat then, peering at him, “Went to three different schools before they sent me to this pavilion place, full of kids who’d been excluded or were on their last chance. I’d never been a bad student, was smart enough when I applied myself, but I had bigger shit to worry about, you know? Didn’t have time to waste mucking about.”

Marshall hummed in a show of understanding, those piercing eyes of his stuck on mine. “I get it.”

And I knew that he did. There was no judgement or pity, just a shit ton of compassion. The sight of it made me smile and I let go of a small chuckle that had been lurking, gaze flicking away and then back to him again.

Marshall broke the silence that settled after his words, smile smug as he reached for the car’s door, “You wanna walk?”

Eager, I agreed.

–

The sun was still rather high in the sky when we finished Marshall’s short tour of his old neighbourhood. The pair of us had wandered around the rubble, looking for anything that stood out or caught the eye, he guessed whereabouts his bedroom would have been had the house still been standing and let me in on the secret to slipping in and out of its creaky window. We walked a little further down the street after to look out across the large football pitch the block of bungalows surrounded and Em pointed out 7 mile, a stretch of road which separated Dresden from the Baptist church on the opposing side, explaining how he remembered walking it to and from school. 

The many American road signs humoured me to no end and I’d told Marshall so on the way back to the car, hand tucked in our pockets to better shield them from the October winds. “You hungry?” He asked me just as the door rattled closed behind him, already moving to start up the car and get the heat going, “Need gas, gonna stop by the next place we see. That cool?”

I nodded, buckling in. “Could go for something sweet.”

“Shit, and here I was thinking I was sweet enough.”

Gagging theatrically at that gross reply, Marshall snorted at my antics and then shifted the car into gear, pulling away from the curb and away from the lot that once was 19946.

We ended up ducking into a 7-Eleven just off an intersection a while into our drive to… wherever it was we were headed next. Em jumped out first to fill up the tank whilst I waited by the car’s hood, content to just people watch. Soon enough I heard the clunk that let you know that the cylinder was full before I glanced over to watch Marshall jiggle the hose back into its place. The man looked up at the gas pump’s number just before he gestured his head towards the store, joining me on his way over.

It wasn’t too busy, I noted as soon as we stepped through the entrance. There was just an older dude standing over by the fridges full of alcohol and then a kid trying to get his mum to buy him a pack of Takis whilst she struggled with her purse and attempted to keep him in line.

Marshall wandered straight on over to the confectionary aisle and so I followed, eyes surveying the many shelves for anything I might like. Em plucked up a couple candies, some of which I hadn’t seen before, as well as some cherry Twizzlers. I steered clear of the chocolate, never having been a fan of the stuff they sold here, it being so different from those back home, and instead opted for a pack of Sour Patch Kids. Em pulled a face at the selection, which had me rolling my eyes even as I cradled the packet a little closer to hide the sour babies from his horrific judgement. 

“Anything else?” I asked, glancing about the store. It wasn’t too often I got to step into one of these in truth, the last time I’d been on tour and even then my manager, Mila, had been a stress head about it.

With a jerk of his chin, Marshall started to lead me further into the store, past a display case of bakery items and a freezer chock full of ice-creams, and over to where a couple of drink machines were stationed. I raised a brow at the bright assortment of colours I was met with.

Em smirked at the face I must have worn, then pointed towards the many cups that had my eyes widening even further.

“If I got this one I’d need to piss every five minutes.” I marvelled, taking in the Big Gulp cup they offered whilst shaking my head.

Marshall snorted and went to grab at it anyways, “Come on, pussy. We can share.” He then gestured towards the flavours, “Which one you feelin’?”

Still reeling a little at the whole sharing bit, I allowed my eyes to dance over the few levers. The amount of flavours they offered was a little daunting, I couldn’t lie, so with a lost expression I turned back to Em, who looked all too amused by my sudden anxiety. I swatted at his arm with the back of my hand in playful retaliation, “There’s like a hundred.” I hissed out, throwing a glance over my shoulder to see if anyone was around.

“Okay.” Marshall merely dragged out in retort, still smirking away, “Might have been a drop out but I know you can count.” That quip earned him a surprised glare which he just brushed off as he moved closer towards the machine, “Figure we go simple, ight? Next time we can switch it up.”

“Next time?” I wondered as he stuck the cup under the Blue Raspberry fountain, which settled things. Because who didn’t like Blue Raspberry anyway?

Em grunted out a hum, finishing off the slurpee with a slight swirl that had me smiling, figuring that there was a technique to it. “Here for two weeks, gonna load you up on sugar. So best prepare.”

Snorting, I just shook my head at him as he stuck a straw in the drink’s top and began trailing his way over to the counter. “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked whilst he lingered by the gum options, waiting for the guy by the till to wrap up his purchase.

Looking over at me, he grinned, “Gotta give you some incentive to come back, right? Slurpees a sure way.”

I couldn’t bite back the laugh that escaped me at that, grin widening even as my eyes narrowed a tad. “Reckon Rosie’s enough to have me visiting again.”

Marshall slapped the hand that wasn’t holding the frozen drink to his chest and gave me a mock look of shock, “I’m wounded.”

It was then that the door sounded and I glanced backwards to see the earlier man headed out of it, Em caught on too and slid on over to the till after he’d grabbed a pack of spearmint and some sort of gummy. 

“Just this and pump 7. Thanks.” He said to the cashier, settling everything he’d been holding down onto the counter before he reached for the sweets I held. I would’ve kicked up more of a fuss about him paying yet again. But my gaze had already been captured by the cashier and how he was now watching Marshall.

“You that rapper?” The man asked as he started to scan our items. Nervously, my eyes flitted back and forth between the worker and Em, the latter who looked up at the guy for a long second before he dipped his head curtly.

“Yeah, man.” Marshall answered him, lips quirking up politely as he made a grab for his back pocket to grab his wallet.

The cashier let out a huh, “Didn’t think you’d ever be back in these parts. Not with your girl at least.”

I blinked at the assumption he’d made of us but Em breezed on past it, shooting the other man a quick smile. “Ain’t like that, it’s home, man.”

Nodding, the cashier’s fingers worked their way over the till, “Like your shit. Honour to meet you, brother. You too.” He added as his gaze moved over to me, which earned him a genuine smile from both Marshall and I. Mostly because I knew straight away that he had no clue as to who I was, and was simply including me in the sentiment seeing how I was with Em. It took a lot of respect to garner that sort of reaction from people, the cashier’s sincerity stretching out onto the people Marshall just knew.

“Appreciate it.” Marshall told him, clapping the man’s hand in one of those manly shakes guys seemed to do before the cashier then handed over our Slurpee and the rest of our purchases.

“It was good meeting y'all.”

Em stepped back at the obvious farewell, but before I could move to follow him, I jumped forward instead, eyes grazing over the Lotto tickets the store offered. “Can I also get two scratchers, please?”

I felt Marshall’s stare linger on me but didn’t bother looking back as the man behind the counter stepped on over towards the case, “Any specific number?”

Thinking, I licked at my lower lip before I ultimately shook my head, “Your pick.”

With a quick glance over the array of cards, the man tore off two scratchers and settled them down, typing out the total for me. I tapped my card on the reader and then picked up one of the tickets before turning swiftly on my heel.

“Hey!” The cashier called out just as I reached Marshall, the man having hovered a foot behind me the entire time, “You left this.”

I continued to walk towards the exit though, but did stop to flash a grin back over my shoulder, “It’s all yours!”

His mouth parted for a second in obvious confusion, stare dropping down to the ticket he held, and before he could deny it, I was grabbing Em’s hand in mine and leading him out, waving the other man a goodbye.

“Don’t even know if he can take that.” Marshall mentioned once we reached the car, forcing out a disbelieving chuckle as we slipped inside.

Shrugging in reply, I allowed him to pass off the bag to me and watched as he settled the Slurpee in the cupholder alongside the pencil I’d since returned. 

“Where to now?” I questioned, clipping my belt before I handed over the remaining scratcher. Em frowned down at it, so I nodded to prompt him into taking it, “Used to get them with mum when I was younger, we’d get one and then take turns scratching it off. Last time had been mine, but it's been a long while since we mentioned it, let alone bought one. So I’m passing on the tradition. Your go.”

Marshall, for the first time, actually looked beyond stumped, watching me with a heavy gaze, seeming to understand what I was giving away here before he slowly reached out to take the ticket from between my fingers. 

“Go on,” I urged with another smile, tilting my chin at him. “See what you won.”

“If.” Em corrected gently, but did as told, taking his keys and using a stubby silver cut to scratch at the foil. He looked it over once it was clear, then with a small smile handed it back to me. “Five bucks.” He said, buckling in and checking his mirrors before we set off.

I grinned triumphantly and didn’t hold back on my “I told you so.”

It wasn’t hard to spot the grin behind the hem of his hood as he pulled away from the pump, but before I could actually point it out, our attention was then caught by a frantic waving of arms. 

Simultaneously, both Marshall and I’s gazes snapped over to the cashier we’d just left, spotting him all but dangling out of the store’s night-pay window. Marshall was hasty in rolling down his own, stopping the car just before we could roll past.

“I won!” The guy hollered across the lot, “I fucking won!”

I giggled at his excited face, the pure joy that left him in waves. An utter contrast to the chill cashier we’d just been talking to moments before. And couldn’t believe it. 

“Spend it wisely, brother!” Marshall called back to him and there was no mistaking the giant grin that overwhelmed his face as he watched the other man come close to tears, clutching the ticket I’d left for him.

“I fucking won!”

Marshall and I shared a look and by the time we managed to drive away, I was still in a cloud of disbelief. Awed by the reaction and how one gesture had changed another person's life. Em must have felt it too, because he looked over at me and took my hand in his, squeezing ever so whilst still wearing that grin.

And was it stupid of me to admit, if only to myself, that I felt like I’d gone and won the lottery then too?

[headfullarcanedisorder]

So can we agree these 2 were canonical zombies?

Like everyone talks about their complexions post-respective-transformations. How they were both pretty pale before but Now it's just encroaching dead shaded territory.

Because they fucking did. They Actually Just Are Dead.

Like 100% that explosion at the bridge should've killed Jinx. A Grenade less than a Foot away from your FACE??? I'm sure her jaw shattered highkey. Silco carries her body fully limp.

The entire plot sets you up to believe that if Singed didn't Do what he did, Silco would've lost Jinx.

On Viktor's end: that explosion at the council room should've killed him. He was laying limp in rubble after years of an increasingly failing immune system. If Jayce had not intervened and thrown Viktor at the hexcore, the hexcore wouldn't have been able to cocoon Viktor into a safer form.

The plot sets you up to believe if Jayce didn't give Viktor to the hexcore, Jayce would've lost Viktor.

Singed, in season 2, is literally revealed to be, Point Blank Since the Start of the series, attempting to cure Death. We see his daughter floated in a chemical slurry and when asked what was wrong with her and what she was sick with he didn't say she was in a coma, or sleeping, or even what "sickness" she has. Because he confesses she's trying to Cure Her Death.

The plot leads you to understand this Jinx first death narrative as Singed experimenting on Jinx to Confirm his shimmer can do what he needs it to do. Silco barges in with a young, presumed Dead Daughter, demanding Singed fix her. Singed sees a practice opportunity. And takes it. And when Singed successfully brings his colleague's daughter back to life, it confirms to Singed he finally has the chemical means to bring back his Own daughter. It was his final incentive to kick his technology study off in pursuit of his eternal daughter.

And on Viktor's end, he already had one foot in the grave, he's had it there since the start of the series frankly. Since his childhood. A Hextech Shark Missile Explosion is Absolutely on the list of things his doctor has probably perhaps told him to Avoid? If he wishes to prolong his already dwindling lifespan??

But here's the bigger part when it comes to Viktor. When he came back he 100% did not come back human. But he still Was Human. So Let me explain. We all understand Viktor's expressions and behaviors after the hexcocoon were pretty Off. He was more apathetic, more sullen, less. Caring. Almost. But not completely.

When he first begins processing his surroundings again and sees jayce he still Has emotions, an affection towards jayce and an understanding of human morality and action. But he seemed detached from it. Almost like he was reeling from a sudden Lack Of Emotion where there Should've Usually Been. He was just quick to accept it's absence because. Well, you can't be upset about a loss of Emotion when upset Is an Emotion. But by all means any Human feelings he Has, in that Moment, are fleeting at best. Because he just lost his human life. Viktor Completely. Died, and was brought back by the healing of the hexcore.

They are both for all intents and purposes. Canonically Undead.

So their complexion matches that lack of hue post mortem. Because they dipped their toes into that state, but were forcibly ripped from it by people out of their control. Ya know .

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Round 5 (main finals): Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Amane Momose (MILGRAM)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Amane Momose (12):

Amane was voted guilty in the first trial so that she would acknowledge her guilt. It backfired, and now she’s considered a threat. Well, everyone is a threat, but nobody’s threat level has been as heavily discussed and debated as hers. Consider the next prisoner in line, Mikoto. He’s objectively more dangerous and cannot be restrained. He beat up the guard in trial 1, and he was able to hold his own when the other guilty prisoners were attacked. But a good incentive to forgive him is so that he will calm down. You know what? That’s a good incentive to forgive Amane too! But she *can* be restrained, so a good portion of the discussion went into how she should be voted guilty so she *will* be restrained and not a threat. Since her vote was a near 50/50, of course a good chunk of the voters expressed dissatisfaction with her forgiven verdict. Some are already planning to vote her guilty for trial 3, calling her a “lost cause”. She hasn’t even done any concrete harm yet. Hold the pitchforks until she actually causes harm, please? And what if she *was* voted guilty in trial 2? We’ve been warned that she will continue to deny our judgement. A second guilty verdict won’t make her better either, and then what? She’d be called a “lost cause” as well. There is no winning with her.

----

Where do I even start? So first of all she’s an cult child who was physically and mentally abused and tortured by her parents and then (presumably) murdered her mother after her mother killed a cat that she took care of.

Now everyone in Milgram is a murderer but when Amane came and her MV showed her murder and circumstance in an admittedly highly fictionalized depiction of it the audience decided to…repeat the cycle of abuse!

She was voted guilty for the main reason of “teaching her” and helping her “realize that she was abused.” I would like to note that this tough love approach is something her parents utilized against her. “We are only doing this to help you.”

So the audience replicates Amane’s abusers and repeats the cycle of abuse and that���s pretty shitty but it isn’t exactly “Fuck Em Kids” level.

And then Trial 2 happened. Cause Amane is bitter and angry and horrifically traumatized so she acts aggressive and hostile. Especially towards another prisoner.

Now, again, everyone here is a fucking murderer (of atleast could be constructed as one) These people being able to Harm is a core concept of this series.

Yet for some reason it feels like people treat Amane as a “delusional creepy kid who wants to kill people” which completly takes away the nuance of her character. She does have the capacity to harm! Everyone here does! She’s not Uniquly Dangerous! She just has a Reason to be Dangerous. A Reason we GAVE HER by REPEATING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE.

In short: In a series full of Murderers I’m honestly a bit pissed that the 12 year old abuse victim is the one who’s treated like the guy from American Pyscho.

----

TL;DR: "We metavoted this abused, indoctrinated child guilty in trial 1, but it didn't work. Now she is a threat to three grown adults: one who is fully free and two whom she has been shown to get along with. Please metavote her guilty again so she will be restrained and unable to attack them, even though that means subjecting her to further psychological torture." Amane Momose is the youngest of ten murderers, prisoners of Milgram who are to be judged innocent (forgiven) or guilty (unforgiven). In the first interrogation (voice drama), she said that what she did was in line with her religion's doctrines. If we judged her the "wrong way", she said she will just deny the verdict. Combining the voice drama and music video, you could piece together that she was raised in a cult and abused, even though she is cheerful and downplays her pain. She never shows *who* she killed, only *why* she did. After the first day of her vote, she was 81% innocent, but this wouldn't last the whole three months. Many people voted her guilty so she would "see her sins", part of the practice commonly known as "metavoting". Her innocent percentage rapidly decreased, and she hit guilty in the last 15 days, finishing at 51% guilty. At the end of the first trial, Jackalope (who is something like a host) went over all the prisoners' verdicts and commented on the general reasoning. When he got to Amane, he *laughed* at the audience for voting that way to make her realize her sins. Trial 2 rolled around, and it was revealed that Amane's victim was her abuser. On day one, she was at 74% innocent. Seems like a cut-and-dry case now, right? Well... in the intermission, two of the prisoners (Fuuta and Mahiru) were badly beaten up and became reliant on the care of Shidou, a doctor. Amane became hostile to Shidou because what he was doing was against her beliefs. She visited all three of them on their birthdays to convince them to change their ways. She seems to be especially close to Fuuta, who is now murmuring about salvation. Guilty prisoners are psychologically tortured, forced to listen to voices that reject their beliefs. Fuuta and Mahiru both say that the mental strain is worse than their physical injuries. But Amane, who also looks worse for wear, was thrown under the bus because she isn't injured and is considered a physical threat to them (never mind that she gets along with them). She's considered a threat to Shidou, a grown man who is twice her size and fully free, while she is partially restricted by the long sleeves in her trial 2 uniform. She might indoctrinate Fuuta even though, in a prison of ten people and one guard, she's the only voice of her cult. Fortunately, she got a break. Her vote was falling at a similar rate to the first trial. But this time, it stabilized at 51% innocent, 12 days before the end of her vote. But there's no way this is over.

[chaikachi]

I think we can possibly get rg crumbs with Neo teasing Ruby as Oscar even more🙏 let's pray for the crumbs 🙏 it's been 84 years 🥹

I literally JUST wrote an analysis of this and threw it on twitter like 2 days ago. I had been meaning to put it on my personal blog but you, dear anono, have given me incentive to put it here instead.

The Interesting Pattern of People Using Oscar Against Ruby

This kicks off primarily in v7, which makes sense since Oscar and Ruby are thrown into conflict as early as episode 2. The conflict is a result of Ruby lying to Ironwood in an attempt to protect him and the rest of their team... But it's clear from the start not everyone agrees with that decision.

Of those that don't agree, the loudest seem to be Oscar and Yang. The latter of which - who is our first example - chooses to bring it up with Ruby in front of their whole team when they're on their first mission with the Ace Ops. Except Yang doesn't just voice her own thoughts or feelings, she makes a point to to ask Ruby how Oscar feels about it. Which was not the fairest way to go about it if you ask me. Especially seeing how Ruby reacted. It's also VERY INTERESTING how that scene directly parallels what it transitions into: Oscar posing those same concerns to her. Except unlike Yang, he found Ruby when she was alone so they didn't have an audience to witness their conflict.

From there, we have a slightly more subtle example: Ironwood. And by 'subtle' i just mean he doesn't say it as directly with his words or actions as the other examples we're discussing here. We do know that their conflict for this volume is centered on their disagreement of what to do with Ironwood... and the show reminds us of that by constantly framing the two separated by him.

Whether it was Ironwood's intention or not, he did manage to drive a wedge between the two of them. And while this conflict does keep them apart for a while... it doesn't work as well as it could have. The first example of this is in episode 7 where Oscar and Ironwood are having their talk near the winter vault.

Ironwood: Do you believe in me? Oscar: I do believe in you. But not only you.

It is very clear Oscar is talking about the other leader in this situation: Ruby. Showing that despite their disagreement, he still does stand by and respect Ruby's decision. Even in this photo, while they are still separated by Ironwood, they are agreeing with each other about what to do:

That scene is then directly followed by the infamous "Schnee Manor Fumble" where the the two finally agree to tell Ironwood the truth and regain some trust in each other.

And as much as I would love to analyze this scene in even more depth, it will have to wait for another post.

For now the next example: Cinder

In V8 when she sabotages their portal plan, it's literally the first thing she says and I still don't know why. Cinder saw the vision of them making this plan, but it was a group endeavor. And the only things we saw Oscar say were the technicalities of how Atlas would fall when using the staff... So what exactly was she referring to? and why did she mention his name specifically?

And then last, but certainly not least: Neo.

We saw this back when the v9 teaser clip first dropped however long ago and it was a topic of BIG DEBATE. Many argued there was no significance behind why she chose Oscar of all people to turn into... but I have to disagree.

In tandem with all these other examples, there is a narrative pattern formed of people specifically using Oscar as a way to twist the knife at Ruby. Yang, Cinder, and - depending on if you view his contribution as intentional or not - Ironwood. Which makes Neo the 3rd or 4th person to do this.

Neo has a vendetta against Ruby. We know this. We know that Yang was an easy choice to hurt her because they're sisters. We know Penny is a good choice because they're close friends and Ruby already lost her once. But Oscar? Why Oscar?

Why did she pick him first? And why did she specifically use a mirage of him when he's covered in bruises and burn marks when she has seen him cleaned up multiple times? To that I have two answers.

The first: because she was there at the Schnee manor and saw them interact in the entryway.

And what she saw convinced her that the two of them were close. Close enough that using Oscar's face against Ruby - especially one battered and bruised - would be an easy way to hurt her.

I'm not trying to use this argument to say that Ruby has feelings for Oscar. I think in canon she is largely too preoccupied with the weight of the world on her shoulders to think about that right now. But we DO know that Oscar feels some type of way about her.

And that even if it's not established in canon as romantic yet, Ruby and Oscar are close. That they do have a relationship built on mutual trust, respect, and understanding for being in similar situations. As clearly displayed in show as well as backed up by Miles in this cameo.

But at the end of the day, there is a very strong emphasis on her connection to Oscar since his debut, which characters within the narrative are noticing! (just look at Nora's face here)

But that brings me to my 2nd point as to why Neo chose the characters she did: Because the writers wanted us to see that.

Animation is expensive and so much meticulous detail and intent goes into everything that we see. They wouldn't have just chosen those characters arbitrarily. They chose those three characters on purpose and I think it largely has to do with how those characters relate to Ruby's arc for Volume 9. So lets go down the list in more detail:

Yang

Once again, it is a bit self explanatory. Her and Ruby are sisters with unresolved conflict that has been building for a while now. Some of it from their upbringing, but a lot of the more recent struggles being Yang's habit of calling Ruby out or disagreeing with her in front of groups of people. It was mentioned at the start of this post, but there are two other examples that come to mind. The beginning of v8 and more recently, v9e3.

In the first, she is arguing with Ruby in front of a room full of people and they all get to see her leadership called into question. The second, we see Ruby's patience around this habit starting to wear thin. I'm not trying to say Yang is wrong to express these things, but the way she goes about them is often not very considerate of Ruby's feelings. Especially her feelings tied to leadership, which is a big theme for this volume.

As mentioned in the v9 trailer, someone says "You seem to be carrying a rather large burden". However, we can see very clearly Ruby's not carrying it well at all and that she is well on her way to breaking under that pressure. A pressure and insecurity that Yang has unfortunately contributed to even when she's trying her very best to be supportive.

Two brief side notes:

Blake and Qrow are also guilty of hurting Ruby in this way unintentionally, but I don't want to touch on them in this post so it will have to wait for another meta

VERY INTERESTING that right before this shot, Yang says "My plan for mantle didn't work out either... but we got Oscar back". Which is a very nice callback to the last time she brought him up to Ruby at the beginning of v7.

But back on track to the next illusion Neo uses:

Penny

We know this one is a big one. The two have always been very close and Ruby is quite protective of her in light of having already lost her once. We saw Ruby admit to this for the first (and pretty much only) time on screen when speaking with Oscar in the Dojo during v5. (yet another scene I would like to dissect more in detail in a later post)

Ruby: When Beacon fell, I lost two of my friends. Penny Polendina and Pyrrha Nikos. (...) Ruby: Pyrrha... Penny. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. That I didn't think about them every day since I lost them.

We also see Ruby passes out when she hears that Penny didn't survive the fall. Then later she gives a eulogy of sorts over the sword that she got from Jinxy. So this plot around Ruby's grief towards Penny is going to be very prevalent this volume.

And lastly:

Oscar

Why him when he didn't fall with them? Well, because we already had a parallel setup between him and Ruby in relation to "The Girl Who Fell Through The World".

Oscar: She brushed off her bumps and bruises, for nothing hurt worse than the loneliness in her chest. Oz: I recognize that. The Girl Who Fell Through the World. Oscar: I shouldn't be surprised you're so familiar with fairytales. Oz: I've lived through my share of them. How are you holding up? Oscar: I thought the idea of falling through Remnant into a new world was... exciting. I never understood why she was so sad when she finally made it back home. But now it makes more sense. Oz: She wasn't the same girl anymore.

Oscar relates because of how he was thrown into this adventure and how it's changed him... and the same can be said for Ruby. Except instead of the call to adventure choosing her, she chose the path herself and then fell into that fairytale first hand. Literally. Into an arc that seems to be telling her that in order for her to grow, survive, and to rise up from the fall she just had: she needs to change. Just like Alyx did. Just like Oscar did.

Unkown Voice: What if you could leave Ruby Rose behind? Shed like an old coat. What might happen... if you don't?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's all i've got rn. there are so many crumbs i have built myself a damn loaf of bread, my friends. and i have very few doubts that Neo won't try and use a mirage of Oscar against Ruby again. if you got to the end, thank you for reading and let me know if you'd like to see more of this stuff or if you'd prefer I keep it on my non-art blog @gatheringkeepsakes. Until then... RG CANON OKAY BYE.

[romulusthethird]

Alt. Universe AU 2

Danny didn’t know how long he’d been there. His arms had long gone numb, and he no longer felt the strain from his position. The chains holding his hands in place above his head clinked softly, but in the echoing expanse of the dungeons, it was like a gun shot going off.

He flinched, back alive with pain.

The man had certainly put it to the test—his ability to kill him. Ineffectual, but nevertheless painful methods. He might even scar from the last attempt.

His guard— a faceless man in black who held no reaction to his quips and jokes despite the boy attempting to create a bond, some type of camaraderie between them, the captive and the captor— was slowly coming down the stairs. He could see the shadow of his feet, slowly making their way towards him.

Only, these feet were smaller than Alfonso (his affectionate name for his guard who responded to every in silence and the rare grunt). Same shoes, though. Must have been the universal pair here at casa a la crazy man.

"Oh, hello, Alfie. How are you today? Is that rain I hear outside or is the world ending? You know there was something something about rain being like... an omen? Or is that just for weddings? Whatever. Is it time for more torture? I think these latest lashings might scar! Neato, huh?" His chains jangled, and he couldn't resist humming out that one songs, you know the one, before continuing. "Did you bring food, then?"

The man(?) stood directly outside the cage/prison, staring inside. Definitely not Alfonso. His guard had the darkest eyes Danny had ever seen, and this guy's eyes were like a blue(?)ish green. Also he was shorter, just a few inches below the likely-older guy. Bones were thinner; muscles not as defined. Pointier nose.

"Soooooo," Danny lifted his head, leading it against his numb arms. "Who're you?"

No response.

"My guy, did you know one of my hobbies is talking? I can, quite literally, talk forever. You get me started on the stars? You'll never escape me. Should I start? A pet peeve of mine, is the negative connotation certain names have had on the astronomy community--I won't name them, you might know them, I don't know, but specifically, one Schedthuries, do you know him? Mid-century astromoner who devised the star patterns and ended up being completely wrong and causes the astronomy world to catapult back to the sixties and try again? Yeah, that asshole. James Schedthuries. I even watched his Teddie Talk a few years ago, for the 75th summit, ya kno, and anyways, did you know that man was more interested in reptiles and snakes? Like, I don't know what the fuck he was doing in astronomy if that wasn't the field he wanted to study--"

"Are you making that up?" It was a not-so deep voice that scratched at the ears and cracked on the k.

It's a teen.

Holy hell, Danny should've realized indoctrination started young.

Also, he was making it up, yes.

"I'll tell you if you tell me your name."

The guy scowled. Heh.

"...I am the heir to the Demon, Ibn al Xu'ffasch."

"Okay, but, like, what do people call you?"

"Tch."

"Here, why don't I give you incentive? My name is Danny. Not Daniel, not Dan, not Dante, Danny. It's only nice to reciprocate." He prompted.

"...I am referred to as Damien."

Danny grinned. "Nice ta meet cha, Dami."

The boy gripped his sword. "Do not call me that."

"Uh, yeah, no. I'm gonna call you whatever the fuck I want to if I'm being chained up in your murder dungeon."

A beat of silence.

Then, "so is it true?"

"Dude, of course it's not real--what kind of name is Schedthuries?"

"Why would you make up easily checkable facts? Did you not worry I would punish you for your lies?"

"If that old man can't do much damage, what can you? I don't get to have a lot of fun around here. Also where is Alfonso?"

"Who?"

"My guard?"

"Oh. gibberish," Danny didn't know what the boy had said, only that it literally translated as the word gibberish in his head. "Gibberish gibberish gibberish."

"I can't understand you."

"He is assignment."

"Alfonso is an assassin, right? Like, this is a murder cult?"

Damien--Dami grunted.

"Dude. Why?"

"We help people."

"By murdering them?"

blue-green eyes glared at him. The boy stepped towards the bars, but never near the door. "We rid the world of corrupt people. Cut out the bad to heal the good. Do you know understand that, Daniel? We kill those who seek to harm this beautiful planet. Those with no conscience. We kill so we do not have to mourn."

"That seems like an idealistic way of looking at what you do."

"How do you see it?"

"Murder, plain and simple. unlawful, and unreasonable murder. That is not justice-- it's vengeance. It's not righting a wrong if you commit another in the process. It's just more bad to cover the old bad. A temporary bandaide."

"...You know not what you speak."

"Maybe. Hey, d'you think the cafeteria would give me like, soup? It gets cold down here?"

"Nanda Parbat is always cold."

The boy turned, then, taking his eyes with him, and went back up the stairs, one foot in front of the other. "Does that mean you'll try to get me some? I like broccoli cheese soup! Hey! Dami! Do a guy a solid!"

"...Please?"

"Man, I wish I was at home."

"Jazz would make me soup."

"After the insects have laid their claims... I'd be home with you, I'd be home with you..."

"Shut up," Dami said, slamming the door open.

"You don't like my rendition?"

"You are ruining Hosier with that shot voice of yours."

He grabbed Danny's chained hands, releasing them from their tense place above his head. He resisted the groan that wanted to come free at the pain and reintroduction of feelings to his limbs. His fingers shake.

"Sit down and eat," the boy said, placing a steaming bowl of soup (not broccoli cheese, but Danny would take what he could get) on the table.

Danny wasted no time making his way to the uncomfortable chairs, sitting opposite Dami, and reached for the spoon.

"You are a godsend, Dami~"

There was a grunted hm, before the boy gestured for him to dig in. He did so with fervor.

"Tell me about you," was said suddenly, several minutes into his messy, loud slurping.

"W'at d'ya wanna kno?"

"Anything."

So Danny opened his mouth-- and told the other boy about the stars. Real facts this time, of course. He wasn't that uncivilized.

--

This is short, but yk. A bit more dialogue heavy than I'd like but beggers can't be choosy I suppose. Enjoy, or don't.

[anderstrevelyan]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Hi, thank you!! And to @yesistolethisurl and @say-lene, who sent this, too. <3

I love how doable this is as a task when I only have four fics published for the fandom I'm currently writing for. (Incentive to keep kicking on my WIPs to take some of these slots!)

1) Haunted One (Durgetash, plus the Dark Urge & Jaheira; M; 19k) remains my favourite thing I've written, so let's lead with it! It's a bridge between bg1/bg2 and bg3, where the son of Gorion's Ward and Viconia becomes the Dark Urge—the first half deals with his falling into Bhaal’s clutches, and the second his entanglement with Enver Gortash. (And I always feel I should mention: it's written to be accessible to readers who've only played bg3, too.)

2) Her Undoing (M; 2k) This one's my most underrated, but I reread it recently and it made me emotional, so! Here she is. Another bridge, bringing Viconia DeVir through her bg2 happy ending into bg3.

3) The Heart (Durgetash; M; 2k) Valas shows Gortash how it feels to hold a still-beating heart (then gets on his knees).

4) My Blood Your Paint (Durgetash; M; 3k) Valas returns to Baldur's Gate—and Gortash realizes just how little he remembers.

Aaaand I struggle to truly rec from my Dragon Age writing, since the best of it's buried in an unfinished longfic I have no current plans to work on (oh, the things I've learned about myself as a writer since this first big-project attempt!)—but you know what, I'm really proud of parts of it still, so let's suggest some chapter pairings from:

5) Force of Nature (Amell/Anders):

"The Leap" and "The Lie" (Ch. 2 & 3)—Anders, caught mid-escape attempt by the Circle's star apprentice, shows him his first sunset as a distraction. Then the payoff in "Memories" (Ch. 13), during Awakening, in a we're-all-trapped-in-the-Fade sequence.

And for some more depth to that, going from "Alone" (Ch. 5), where Amell faces the consequences for that lie as an apprentice, to his active defence of Anders as Warden-Commander in "I Would Drown Us in Blood" (Ch. 16).

[descendant-of-truth]

Heads up, I'm gonna be discussing Sonic x Shadow Generations leaks below the cut, so if you don't want extra-early spoilers then just feel free to skip this one for now.

That being said: it's come to my attention that the Sonic Generations portion of the game is, in fact, being rewritten... but not reanimated. Meaning that it's just new dialogue on top of the pre-existing animations.

This is. quite possibly the worst route they could have taken. not to mention the weirdest??

I can see what the train of thought most likely was, to be fair. Shadow Generations is being written by Ian Flynn, while the original game was written by Ken Pontac and Warren Graff, and their versions of the characters are very different from Flynn's. Clearly, they wanted some sense of internal consistency between the writing of the re-release. That part is normal.

But then, I guess they just... didn't have the budget, or interest, or whatever it was they needed to reanimate everything from scratch. So they just added some lipsyncing when necessary and called it a day.

The problem is that doing it this way fundamentally kneecaps what you can actually do with a rewrite. The revised dialogue I saw in a video doesn't feel any less stilted or awkward, and the only thing it really changes is giving the characters slightly more reasonable priorities, or filling in gaps in their knowledge that were there before.

And those aren't bad things to do, but it's... kind of the ONLY thing they can do. It doesn't fix the game's story. It's barely putting a band-aid over it. All it does is read like an amateur fan project, especially with the addition of Modern Sonic responding to his friends after he saves them where he didn't before; I'm convinced I've seen videos of fans doing that exact thing in the past.

Yes, everyone knows that the few seconds of silence while he gestures felt unnatural, but so does trying to fit a relevant sentence over such a short animation. The official attempt isn't going much better, adding this really out-of-place and forced "alright!" when Sonic gives Knuckles a thumbs-up, and it doesn't flow naturally with the rest of what he was saying at all. It's there seemingly just to fill the space, so that there's no moment where Sonic is animating and not talking. It's bad.

Not to mention, I kind of assumed that the reason Modern Sonic was silent during those segments was because Classic Sonic was. You can play either Act of each stage in whatever order you want, so you could rescue the others as either Sonic. It would give people an unfair incentive to always play Act 2 second if it meant they would get more dialogue that way, and they would miss out on Classic's interactions as a result. Sure, neither of their interactions are anything to write home about, but... that's not really the point, here.

Trying to insert new personalities and character dynamics into animations that were meant for something different only works if you're doing a fanmade parody. Doing it in an official capacity feels... weirdly insulting to both the original writers and animators, honestly?

Like, no, that's not the script they spent hours animating for. That's not the tone they were trying to convey with those character movements. No, Sonic isn't face-palming in exasperation because Amy's too focused on "saving Sonic next time," he's doing that because she's joking about how scared she was that she'd never get to flirt with him again. Those are not comparable interactions.

I understand why they wanted to change the script, I really do, I don't even like the original version but for crying out loud, swapping out the dialogue does not make the game more interesting. There's a reason the story felt utterly bland and lifeless and an extremely large part of that was the animation and cinematography. The white space that most of the cutscenes took place in was literally just the side-scrolling hub world, they had maybe five square inches that each character could move around in and it was really, really boring.

A rewrite of Sonic Generations, especially with the goal of making it an equivalent experience to Shadow Generations, desperately needs more than this. Shadow's story is going all-out with the animations and camera angles and the severity of the situation and the deep-dive into Shadow's character and Sonic gets. this. a slap in the face to the original writers with no attempt to meaningfully improve upon their story.

It doesn't solve the problem of Sonic's story being jarringly lackluster in comparison to Shadow's. If anything, it's just going to stand out as being even weirder, because if this was all they were going to do, then... why did they even bother? What was the point? Does Tails recognizing the Chemical Plant from Sonic 2 mean anything when there's no new scenes that actually take place in it? Are we really making "Sonic References: the Game" into nothing more than a vehicle for Slightly More Accurate Sonic References and Nothing Else??

And what really gets me about this is that I would've gone nuts for an official Generations rewrite as a kid. My Sonic Generations Phase(TM) was both extremely long-lasting and filled to the brim with others' fan projects, because I couldn't get enough of this idea of Sonic and Tails meeting their past selves while trying to save the very fabric of reality. It's such an inherently cool and fun idea!

But what I was invested in as a kid was just that: an idea of a story. The reason I was obsessively reading and watching fanfic about it was because the actual game gave me nothing to work with. Now, it seems we're still getting nothing, just in a different flavor. Like, plain oats, but this time they're gluten free so that means they're totally what I wanted, right?

No. I didn't want a Sonic Generations fandub that happened to be paid for. I wanted a story. It should not be this difficult to give me one.

(To clarify, this is not a diss on Ian Flynn himself or his ability to write. I think he was given a task that was impossible to do well and I'm mad at whoever made this decision)

[heyclickadee]

In fact, here’s a Tech Lives theory.

And by theory, an explanation I would accept for having Tech come back elsewhere but also explain what the hell was going on with CX-2 this season, should they choose to pursue a retcon (or if they just moved all the Tech stuff to the next show to have more room to deal with it).

Basically, Tech wasn’t CX-2, exactly, but he also sort of was. Tech was physically stuck in a pod in the necromancer chamber, maybe with amnesia from the fall, maybe not, because Hemlock realized his CX process wasn’t working on defective clones yet (or perhaps because Tech was too injured to be of any use as a CX) and, so, he decided to use Tech for “other purposes.” And, in this case, that purpose was midichlorian experimentation, because injecting Tech of all people with midichlorians in an attempt to see if force sensitivity could be artificially enhanced seems like the exact brand of stupid Hemlock has going on. We do, after all, hear Hemlock threaten to use Crosshair for other uses since he’s resisting re-education, and we also hear he and Nala Se talk about a partially successful m-count transfer and never learn anything more about it. Why couldn’t that have been Tech? So Tech’s in a pod, in the necromancer room, it’s basically a sensory deprivation chamber, he’s been souped up with midichlorians, and suddenly The Force is happening, so things get very weird for him very fast.

In this theory, Tech’s consciousness starts to wander, and in a weird version of the merge senses ability from legends, attaches himself to the clone that’s CX-2. And he attaches very easily, because CX-2’s been wiped clean and has no personality of his own anymore, so Tech is very much in there feeling and experiencing everything CX-2 is and having a lot of influence to the point that he affects how CX-2 moves and speaks.

But Tech’s confused, he doesn’t know what’s happening, he’s not doing this on purpose, he might be heavily disassociated from his own memories because what the hell is happening, and he’s sort of landed in a mind that’s been heavily brainwashed and just knows orders. It’s a little like being someone else in a dream. He maintains a sense of self, hence CX-2’s use of “I” and general attitude, but it’s hard for him to tell where the clone that was CX-2 ends and he begins. He’s lost and stuck under CX-2’s programming. He can’t get out or go back to himself. He doesn’t know how he got here and he doesn’t know how to change it, and he spends so long in there and probably being subject to Hemlock’s programming alongside CX-2 that, for all intents and purposes, he IS CX-2 for a while. But his personality and not memories exactly, but feelings about those memories come through when triggered by Crosshair, Phee, Pabu, or Omega. But then CX-Tech returns to Tantiss with Omega, gets shoved in a CX pod, Tech’s still attached but buried deep down—until CX-2 gets impaled and Tech wakes up back in his body in that necromancer pod.

It’s wooey, sure, but it’s no more stupid or wooey than anything else in Star Wars. And this is just to demonstrate that there is absolutely nothing keeping Tech from coming back. There are so many ways they could do it. They just have to pick one.

And they might really have to pick one eventually. There are no in-universe incentives to keeping him interminably falling through the mists, and doing so just makes everyone involved look like an ass.

[thebrickinbrick]

An Attempt to Console the Widow Hucheloup, Part 2

Gavroche, completely carried away and radiant, had undertaken to get everything in readiness. He went, came, mounted, descended, re-mounted, whistled, and sparkled. He seemed to be there for the encouragement of all. Had he any incentive? Yes, certainly, his poverty; had he wings? yes, certainly, his joy. Gavroche was a whirlwind. He was constantly visible, he was incessantly audible. He filled the air, as he was everywhere at once. His was a sort of almost irritating ubiquity; no halt was possible with him. The enormous barricade felt him on its haunches.

He troubled the loungers, he excited the idle, he reanimated the weary, he grew impatient over the thoughtful, he inspired gayety in some, and breath in others, wrath in others, movement in all, now pricking a student, now biting an artisan; he alighted, paused, flew off again, hovered over the tumult, and the effort, sprang from one party to another, murmuring and humming, and harassed the whole company; a fly on the immense revolutionary coach.

Perpetual motion was in his little arms and perpetual clamor in his little lungs.

"Courage! more paving-stones! more casks! more machines! Where are you now? A hod of plaster for me to stop this hole with! Your barricade is very small. It must be carried up. Put everything on it, fling everything there, stick it all in. Break down the house. A barricade is Mother Gibou's tea. Hullo, here's a glass door." "Courage! more paving-stones! more casks! more machines! Where are you now? A hod of plaster for me to stop this hole with! Your barricade is very small. It must be carried up. Put everything on it, fling everything there, stick it all in. Break down the house. A barricade is Mother Gibou's tea. Hullo, here's a glass door."

“This elicited an exclamation from the workers.

"A glass door? what do you expect us to do with a glass door, tubercle?"

"Hercules yourselves!" retorted Gavroche. "A glass door is an excellent thing in a barricade. It does not prevent an attack, but it prevents the enemy taking it. So you've never prigged apples over a wall where there were broken bottles? A glass door cuts the corns of the National Guard when they try to mount on the barricade. Pardi! glass is a treacherous thing. Well, you haven't a very wildly lively imagination, comrades.”

“However, he was furious over his triggerless pistol. He went from one to another, demanding: "A gun, I want a gun! Why don't you give me a gun?"

"Give you a gun!" said Combeferre.

“Come now!" said Gavroche, "why not? I had one in 1830 when we had a dispute with Charles X."

Enjolras shrugged his shoulders.

"When there are enough for the men, we will give some to the children."

Gavroche wheeled round haughtily, and answered:

"If you are killed before me, I shall take yours." "Gamin!" said Enjolras. "Greenhorn!" said Gavroche.

A dandy who had lost his way and who lounged past the end of the street created a diversion.

Gavroche shouted to him: "Come with us, young fellow! Well now, don't we do anything for this old country of ours?"

The dandy fled.

[rjzimmerman]

Summary of this Harvard Business Review article from Bill McKibben:

The ever-vigilant Kenneth Pucker, writing in the Harvard Business Review, finds that companies are scaling back diversity and sustainability pledges under pressure from conservative activists. (Ford and Lowe’s have joined the list in recent days). He calls it shortsighted, pointing out

Over time, the balance of negative- and positive-return sustainability investments will shift. As the impacts of climate change become more pronounced, pricing of carbon will become even more common. Already, starting in 2026, the newly enacted European Carbon Border Adjustment Mechanism (CBAM), a tariff, will put a price on the embodied carbon for several key heavy industry inputs including steel, aluminum, iron, and cement entering the EU. As a result, many investments that may not pay out today will be accretive in the future. To prepare for truer pricing of carbon, companies ought to set an internal carbon price with proceeds used to fund investments to lower emissions. Carbon prices are already in place in more than 20% of U.S. and EU companies. Danone, for example, started with an internal carbon price of €35 and Klarna recently doubled its price for Scope 1 and Scope 2 emissions to $200 per metric. Also, given that 90% of public equity valueis comprised of intangible assets (such as a company’s brand and intellectual property), several companies adjust cash flows or the corporate hurdle rate to advantage sustainability investments. Though imprecise, so doing attempts to account for the increasingly important value of intangible assets. Like working with suppliers, making these adjustments demands an orientation that balances short- and medium-term results. This is because these financial tactics spur companies to accelerate the costs (e.g., of regulation) and risks (e.g., to brand reputation) of environmental degradation by replacing the mispriced incentives of the market with clearer signals to advance sustainability. Courageous executives will realize, however, that so doing is in fact in keeping with how investors value companies — based on future cash flows, not each 90-day earnings cycle.

[slasheru]

Slasher U Update Roadmap: End of 2023!

Holy crap, it's been a hell of year, hasn't it?! Slasher U Act 1 came out at the end of April 2023 and there's been SO MUCH that's changed!

Things that were added in post-launch Slasher U Act 1 updates:

Sawyer's entire romance arc, storyline, and hookup/makeout games

Outfits

Bartending

The ability to talk to Dark Tate post-coitally

Butterflies and crows (fighting crows used to crash your game)

The entire good UI

Characters including Cliff, Stitcherella, Jennykind, Paisleigh, Tanya, and I'm pretty sure Kennedy was a very early addition, too

And that's not counting the tweaks, fixes, and content! In the interest of continuing to Ship of Theseus this game into the best dating sim ever (no biggie, right?), I have the following updates planned before the end of 2023 for Act 1!

Accessibility settings: A way to opt out of minigames with a random roll based on your personality stats (different stat per minigame as appropriate!)

Refining the places you can get personality points in Act 1

Customization: Cane accessories! These will run on a different band than outfits so you can mix and match them/equip them alongside outfits!

Finance: I made everything in the game on the pricey/"realistic" side and the money you get from gigs relatively low because A) college and B) i kind of thought it would both be funny/reflective of shitty college jobs AND a nice incentive to grind some minigames but. I think the economy needs a bit of a fix, right? ;) (in the meantime, try typing InfiniteMoneyVent with the caps correct in the Cheat Codes menu when you're in-game! Your wallet will be a little fuller!)

There are 27 major bugs left in the list for me to tackle as of now, most of them are routine but there are 3 or 4 harder ones to tackle (naming save files is being a beeeetch specifically because afaik Wolf wipes any additional system string variables even if you specify a larger variable count list? My engine just is like "naw actually I'm not saving that"?)

Prior Planned Quality of Life Stuff: Either a way to name your save files OR a way to make your character name appear under your save file (this used to happen but there was a bug where all names would default to your last used character name)

WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL I'm still trying to fix the text box bug! This actually isn't borked in the vanilla version of the WRPG engine but I can't fucking figure out how to fix it with the way I've set up the UI (I think? I THINK?!). This is realistically the last bug to get fixed due to my own ineptitude, so I'm hoping to A) make autosaves automatically turned on and B) making Data 1's save slot unusable so it's reserved for autosaves!

There's ALSO a couple content updates for Act 1 still (nothing major, except for, uh, ONE MAJOR THING, haha):

The Truth or Dare minigame/scenario is now going to be included in the Act 1 game, but take place after the Act 2 bumper (post-murder-attempt)

This is already in there but the preamble for Dark Tate's continuing storyline, and Laila's Act 2, activates after the murder attempt

I'll be adding Hex, Juno, and Sawyer's Act 2 lead-ins, plus regular Tate's lead-in, as I work on Act 2

Resolving the storylines (or, if you're being a Chaotic Evil type of player, ruining everyone's life) with story choices/quests for non-dateables: Act 2 will include more Sawyer/Horsemike story, and personal quests for Melyssa, Professor Plutonium, and partially Veronika/Archibald (theirs will continue into Act 3)

Maybe I'll let you fight crows again. MAYBE.

I'm ALSO working on Act 2, which has a lot of new features (notably permanent cosmetic upgrades like a piercing system and tattoos) as well as new content (obvi lmao), but I really want to find a way to offer early access passes to folks who didn't make it to the Crowdfundr (maybe via Patreon)?

Here are some Act 2 features that I'm excited to include/are already being worked on (you'll recognize a lot of these from fanvotes!)

Piercing/Tattoo Parlor

Headless Horsemike one-off hookup minigame

Tate's movie date (yes it's scripted and implemented, it'll be in the next Act 2 update lol. I KNOW I KNOW :D )

Being able to run the speakeasy/sex dungeon as a little moneymaking game in and of itself (well. More for the speakeasy. The sex dungeon is mostly for sex. You're welcome, Sawyer Enjoyers)

Being able to gift outfits to dateables

I'm personally super hype for Tate's storyline (which also involves some other students?? ooo????) and how that's going to mechanically shake out, PLUS, tattoos. Oh my god. TATTOOS GUYS. Plus, the piercing system works like IRL-style - you have to get pierced, then buy jewelry for your piercing if you want to replace your starter/healer gear! I'm a big fan of body mods IRL and having a more realistic piercing/tattoo system was important to me!

Can't wait for next year AND to bring y'all more Slasher U!!!!!!!!! Making video games is literally my favorite thing to do in the whole wide world and I can't imagine doing anything else with my life :')))) (one day I'll be able to do this FULL-full time instead of on top of reviewing medical documents and drawing IP comics for Big Corpo)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BEST FUCKIN' 6 MONTHS OF GAME DEV I COULD EVER FUCKING ASK FOR!!!!!!!!!! You guys rule :')))))))))))

xoxooxoxoxoxox, Professor Plutonium

[terresdebrume]

Story time: when I got my first full employment contract with the current school last year, the guy making our timetables was an incompetent. As in, it was the Friday before classes started again, several teachers were still meant to teach three classes at the same time, and he point blank refused to work on the thing anymore.

So, since we did need timetables and nobody was doing anything, I said "gimme some time", opened google sheets, pushed my sleeves up, and managed to have something functional by mid-Sunday. The Big Boss, who was visiting at the time, asked me to be in charge of that for the school year.

Months pass, we had way too many versions of the timetables because the school pretty much doubled numbers through the year, and also (key element) I butted heads with the admin team several times over things they asked that were either not possible or stupid, but which HQ wanted anyway bc they refuse to realize that Cambodia is not Singapore and we sometimes can't do the exact same things they do.

Anyway, a little after the middle of the year, this guy H suddenly appears at one of the meetings. I go 'can I ask why he's here?' and I'm told he's here to 'help'. From that moment on, I did not receive a single scrape of information about timetables. Decisions were made without consulting or informing me, meetings happened that I wasn't even aware of, etc.

At this point you may realize, as I did, that I was subtly pushed out. I made the passive aggressive decision not to notice this, which led to probably more stress than I should have taken on...but still, I kept it up, until a couple months into this year, when the then-Principal told me that since they couldn't have 2 people in charge of timetables, they would have to go with H.

Now, I was quite bitter about the way we'd gotten there, but considering I'd been seriously considering handing in my 'resignation' from that responsibility, I ended up feeling more relieved than anything else. (Also, because I'm not perfect, I have to admit there was a bit of schadenfreude when H's first attempts at making timetables without considering what the teachers wanted gave him noticeable backlash.) In the meantime, H continues to make himself essential to the school in an attempt to become Head of Secondary, and is put in charge of organizing progress reports and Parents/Teachers conferences.

Fast forward a couple months: H did not become Head of Secondary, because he point blank refused to work with one of the teachers in the department. He is still in charge of timetabling & reports & PTCs organization, and is (not unfairly) expecting a big bonus for his performance last year. Problem: H's husband has to move to Paris for his job, and H intends to follow him before the end of the year, aka before the intended end of his contract. Consequently: H does not get a bonus.

H is not happy (which to be fair: he's right there) and decides to hasten his departure to Immediately, then is convinced to come back with what I have to assume is significant incentive. H is still leaving as soon as possible, though, and has to find a replacement for his responsibilities. So, who does he ask to pick up the torch?

To which my response was of course a polite but firm

NAH

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Grand Finals: Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Amane Momose (MILGRAM)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Amane Momose (12):

Amane was voted guilty in the first trial so that she would acknowledge her guilt. It backfired, and now she’s considered a threat. Well, everyone is a threat, but nobody’s threat level has been as heavily discussed and debated as hers. Consider the next prisoner in line, Mikoto. He’s objectively more dangerous and cannot be restrained. He beat up the guard in trial 1, and he was able to hold his own when the other guilty prisoners were attacked. But a good incentive to forgive him is so that he will calm down. You know what? That’s a good incentive to forgive Amane too! But she *can* be restrained, so a good portion of the discussion went into how she should be voted guilty so she *will* be restrained and not a threat. Since her vote was a near 50/50, of course a good chunk of the voters expressed dissatisfaction with her forgiven verdict. Some are already planning to vote her guilty for trial 3, calling her a “lost cause”. She hasn’t even done any concrete harm yet. Hold the pitchforks until she actually causes harm, please? And what if she *was* voted guilty in trial 2? We’ve been warned that she will continue to deny our judgement. A second guilty verdict won’t make her better either, and then what? She’d be called a “lost cause” as well. There is no winning with her.

----

Where do I even start? So first of all she’s an cult child who was physically and mentally abused and tortured by her parents and then (presumably) murdered her mother after her mother killed a cat that she took care of.

Now everyone in Milgram is a murderer but when Amane came and her MV showed her murder and circumstance in an admittedly highly fictionalized depiction of it the audience decided to…repeat the cycle of abuse!

She was voted guilty for the main reason of “teaching her” and helping her “realize that she was abused.” I would like to note that this tough love approach is something her parents utilized against her. “We are only doing this to help you.”

So the audience replicates Amane’s abusers and repeats the cycle of abuse and that’s pretty shitty but it isn’t exactly “Fuck Em Kids” level.

And then Trial 2 happened. Cause Amane is bitter and angry and horrifically traumatized so she acts aggressive and hostile. Especially towards another prisoner.

Now, again, everyone here is a fucking murderer (of atleast could be constructed as one) These people being able to Harm is a core concept of this series.

Yet for some reason it feels like people treat Amane as a “delusional creepy kid who wants to kill people” which completly takes away the nuance of her character. She does have the capacity to harm! Everyone here does! She’s not Uniquly Dangerous! She just has a Reason to be Dangerous. A Reason we GAVE HER by REPEATING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE.

In short: In a series full of Murderers I’m honestly a bit pissed that the 12 year old abuse victim is the one who’s treated like the guy from American Pyscho.

----

TL;DR: "We metavoted this abused, indoctrinated child guilty in trial 1, but it didn't work. Now she is a threat to three grown adults: one who is fully free and two whom she has been shown to get along with. Please metavote her guilty again so she will be restrained and unable to attack them, even though that means subjecting her to further psychological torture." Amane Momose is the youngest of ten murderers, prisoners of Milgram who are to be judged innocent (forgiven) or guilty (unforgiven). In the first interrogation (voice drama), she said that what she did was in line with her religion's doctrines. If we judged her the "wrong way", she said she will just deny the verdict. Combining the voice drama and music video, you could piece together that she was raised in a cult and abused, even though she is cheerful and downplays her pain. She never shows *who* she killed, only *why* she did. After the first day of her vote, she was 81% innocent, but this wouldn't last the whole three months. Many people voted her guilty so she would "see her sins", part of the practice commonly known as "metavoting". Her innocent percentage rapidly decreased, and she hit guilty in the last 15 days, finishing at 51% guilty. At the end of the first trial, Jackalope (who is something like a host) went over all the prisoners' verdicts and commented on the general reasoning. When he got to Amane, he *laughed* at the audience for voting that way to make her realize her sins. Trial 2 rolled around, and it was revealed that Amane's victim was her abuser. On day one, she was at 74% innocent. Seems like a cut-and-dry case now, right? Well... in the intermission, two of the prisoners (Fuuta and Mahiru) were badly beaten up and became reliant on the care of Shidou, a doctor. Amane became hostile to Shidou because what he was doing was against her beliefs. She visited all three of them on their birthdays to convince them to change their ways. She seems to be especially close to Fuuta, who is now murmuring about salvation. Guilty prisoners are psychologically tortured, forced to listen to voices that reject their beliefs. Fuuta and Mahiru both say that the mental strain is worse than their physical injuries. But Amane, who also looks worse for wear, was thrown under the bus because she isn't injured and is considered a physical threat to them (never mind that she gets along with them). She's considered a threat to Shidou, a grown man who is twice her size and fully free, while she is partially restricted by the long sleeves in her trial 2 uniform. She might indoctrinate Fuuta even though, in a prison of ten people and one guard, she's the only voice of her cult. Fortunately, she got a break. Her vote was falling at a similar rate to the first trial. But this time, it stabilized at 51% innocent, 12 days before the end of her vote. But there's no way this is over.

[theobjectivemind]

Kamala Harris’s Economic Plans: A Path to Empowerment, Not Socialism

In recent discussions, Vice President Kamala Harris has introduced a series of economic proposals that aim to address pressing issues such as food prices, housing, taxes, and medical costs. While some critics may attempt to label these initiatives as “socialism,” it’s essential to understand that Harris’s plans are firmly rooted in the principles of fairness and economic empowerment within a capitalist system. Let’s break down how these proposals can benefit Americans and why they should not be confused with socialism.

Addressing the Real Needs of Americans

1. Lowering Prescription Drug Costs: Americans are paying significantly more for prescription drugs than people in other high-income countries. A 2022 analysis by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) revealed that U.S. prices for all drugs were nearly three times higher than prices in 33 other Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) countries. Specifically, U.S. prices for brand-name drugs were 422% of the prices in these comparison countries. This means that for every dollar spent on brand-name drugs in other countries, Americans are paying $4.22.

While the U.S. has managed to keep the prices of generic drugs relatively low—demonstrating that affordable medication is possible—the exorbitant prices of brand-name drugs still place an unfair burden on American consumers. Harris's proposals aim to bring these prices in line with what is seen in other high-income countries, ensuring that all essential medications, not just generics, are affordable for everyone.

2. Expanding Housing Access: The vice president’s housing plan calls for the construction of 3 million new housing units over four years to address the severe housing shortage in the U.S. By promoting tax incentives for builders of “starter” homes and expanding funding for affordable rental housing, Harris is working to make homeownership and rental options more accessible to first-time buyers and low-income families. Additionally, she plans to limit bulk home purchases by investors and curb price-setting tools that drive up rental costs.

3. Reducing Medical Costs and Expanding Access: As a veteran, I’ve personally benefited from the healthcare services provided by the Veterans Affairs (VA). The VA system ensures that veterans like myself have access to the medical care we need, recognizing our service to the country. But here’s the thing—I don’t believe that healthcare should only be guaranteed to those who have worn the uniform. Every American deserves access to affordable, quality healthcare, regardless of their military status.

Veterans and current service members share a common bond—we have either worn or continue to wear the uniform to protect our nation and its citizens. But right now, millions of Americans are being treated unfairly by corporate greed and the exorbitant costs of healthcare. It’s time for us to stand up and go to war with big pharma and the corporations that prioritize profits over people’s well-being. Harris’s proposal to expand Medicare’s ability to negotiate drug prices is a critical step in this battle, aiming to reduce the financial burden on all Americans, not just a select few.

4. Tax Relief for Families: The vice president’s tax proposals include making permanent the $3,600 per child tax credit and introducing a new $6,000 tax credit for newborns. She also plans to expand the Earned Income Tax Credit, providing significant tax relief to frontline workers and lowering taxes on healthcare plans offered through the Affordable Care Act marketplace.

These initiatives reflect a commitment to making life more affordable and manageable for middle-class Americans, ensuring that everyone has a fair shot at success.

Why These Policies Are Not Socialism

It’s important to clarify that these policies do not constitute socialism. Socialism, in its true form, involves government ownership and control of major industries and resources. In contrast, Kamala Harris’s proposals work within the existing capitalist framework, using targeted regulations and incentives to make the economy fairer and more inclusive.

The U.S. already has a number of social programs that provide essential services without transforming the nation into a socialist state. For example:

Social Security: Provides financial support to retirees, disabled individuals, and survivors of deceased workers. It’s a program that ensures a safety net for millions of Americans.

Veterans Affairs (VA): Offers healthcare, education, and housing benefits to veterans who have served the country. This program is a recognition of their service and a commitment to their well-being. However, the need for affordable healthcare isn’t exclusive to veterans; it’s a right that should be extended to all citizens.

These programs demonstrate that integrating social initiatives within a capitalist system is not only possible but also beneficial to society as a whole.

Learning from Other Countries

The United States is not alone in using social programs to enhance the well-being of its citizens. Many other countries with similar capitalist economies have implemented successful social initiatives that benefit their populations without adopting socialism. For example:

Germany: Germany’s social market economy combines free-market capitalism with social policies that ensure universal healthcare and other welfare programs. This approach allows for a thriving economy while ensuring that citizens have access to essential services.

Australia: Australia’s Medicare system provides universal healthcare coverage to all citizens and permanent residents, funded by taxes. This system ensures that healthcare is accessible to everyone, regardless of income, without sacrificing quality or innovation.

These examples show that it’s possible to incorporate social programs into a capitalist economy to address the needs of the population effectively.

Conclusion: A Balanced Approach for a Stronger America

Kamala Harris’s economic proposals are not about shifting the U.S. toward socialism but about making the current system more equitable and responsive to the needs of everyday Americans. By addressing food prices, housing, medical costs, and taxes, these plans aim to empower the middle class and ensure that all citizens can participate fully in the economy.

As a veteran, I’ve experienced how vital access to quality healthcare can be. But this isn’t something that should be reserved just for those who served—it’s a right every American should have. Integrating fair social programs into our system isn’t radical; it’s a practical step forward. Other countries have successfully done this, and so can we. Let’s focus on how these proposals can truly benefit us—by supporting families, improving health, and making life better for everyone.

By supporting these initiatives, we’re not moving away from capitalism—we’re strengthening it by ensuring that it works for everyone, not just those at the top.

Sources:

[brionysea]

Can you please expand more on #1 Mike wheeler (byers) protector Jonathan Byers?

my answer is very specific to certain theories that i hold very close to my heart, so i'll have to give a brief recap first. for context. just in case anyone who hasn't witnessed my insanity comes across this post

first: i think mike's been fighting vecna's attempts to possess him since the snow ball

second: i think the events of the show have been mike subconsciously bringing things to life

third: i think jonathan figured both of those things out in mid-to-late season 3, thanks to mike's subconscious knowledge of them subtly coming out in pieces of conversation, and jonathan's ability to pick up on subtleties like that

now, the thing you've gotta remember here is that the idea of "the source" and "the thing controlling everything" being the problem has been floating around the cast explicitly since season 2, and more subtly in the show's writing in general since season 1. it isn't as prominent in season 4, the one season where mike isn't in hawkins for people dealing with the upside down to make statements with suspicious double meanings around him

imagine that you're jonathan byers. you heard your girlfriend and her little brother agree that killing the thing controlling everything would be an undeniably good development months ago. now, it's summer, the world is ending again, you just barely got out of a disagreement with your girlfriend and almost died at the hands of a possessed person, like, yesterday, and now she's talking about killing the flayed and killing the source right in front of you while her little brother (and your little brother's best friend) is in the room — his awareness of being flayed and being the source currently an unknown. that's a lot of incentive to keep those revelations to yourself, isn't it?

the group that was in the cabin during this sequence of events turned on mike so easily over the tiniest thing, and not a single person stood up for him. if jonathan brought up either of his theories, a lot of things could happen. everyone could immediately turn on mike again. if that doesn't happen, mike could immediately start arguing to sacrifice himself to protect everyone else. there's really no good outcome to making that specific choice because it would inevitably endanger mike, especially since el is currently looking for the flayed and can't find them for mysterious reasons at the same time as mike is talking about how much he hates being spied on, and nancy is most likely planning on killing the flayed

so instead, el goes looking for the source in someone's mind, against mike's advice, and jonathan doesn't know what he's thinking or what she'll find. fortunately or unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with mike. then the monster finds them, just like they all knew would happen, and were somehow still surprised by

jonathan doesn't understand the specifics of what's happening. he doesn't know if the monsters can or will hurt mike. but mike is rushing into the middle of everything without a thought for his own safety

jonathan is a very protective person. jonathan would, has, and will go to hell and back for his little brother. jonathan has the increasingly rare ability to see mike wheeler as an innocent child who deserves help and protection, even if he's involved in the mess that their lives have become even more directly than anyone thought

the idea of mike dying has gone from abstract to real and solid, right in front of him, so when mike ends up slightly separated from the group and in grabbing range of the monster, jonathan pulls him back and makes sure he's got a hold of him and shields him from the threat right alongside will, because he's dedicated himself to protecting mike now, and this is the proof

then we have the byers moving to california. jonathan has a sister now. he's trying long distance with nancy, who he still hasn't told about mike. graduation and the idea of leaving home is just around the corner and approaching fast. and he's avoiding all of it, including what the hell he's going to do about mike wheeler, by getting high constantly

mike flies out for spring break, jonathan goes to pick him up from the airport, and he's immediately acting weird. he's dressed weird, he brushes will off, he ignores him, he upsets him. he doesn't seem like himself at all. the possession's still a factor, and for what's likely the first time, jonathan is there to witness it, if only briefly

that reminder, along with everything else weighing on him, freaks jonathan out. mike's presence has him thinking about how he can't leave his family because he hasn't solved the mike problem yet — he doesn't even understand it — so something else could feasibly happen. naturally, he gets high to stop thinking about things he has no immediate way of fixing

at dinner, mike keeps acting weird and upsets el, but jonathan's probably too out of it to really know what happened there until he has the time and sobriety to think about it a little later. mike mopes (glowers, really) at breakfast the next day, doesn't eat, and keeps uncharacteristically ignoring will to go off and upset el some more. then there's the mess of el getting arrested and kidnapped by the government, they find out that something is, in fact, happening in hawkins again, and mike gets super freaked out and in his own head about something

the house gets shot up by shady government people and jonathan once again keeps a hold of mike and physically shields him from danger, because he hasn't changed his stance on protecting him

the "making things happen" part of this whole conundrum becomes relevant again in the desert when mike understands the situation just a little too well. no one else would have thought that a pen that doesn't work would be hiding something inside it, and you can see jonathan thinking how weird it is that things match up so perfectly with how mike thinks. how quickly he realised the nina project was a computer probably set off alarm bells too

jonathan: maybe it's hidden in the code somehow? mike: what you just said makes no sense

i believe this dialogue from suzie's house was jonathan trying to feel mike out and see how much awareness he has of what's going on. evidently, not a lot, since all his warnings (of which there are many) seem to be a purely subconscious effort. mike, for some reason, doesn't know

then there's the van scene, where jonathan pieces together that will is in love with mike and finds out that will would, in his own words, fall apart if anything happened to him. no pressure, jonathan, but you're going to break your little brother's heart if you don't find mike a safe way out of this. good luck!

the possession acts up again in the pizza freezer for mike's monologue, because he likes it cold, so naturally mike's ability to fight back is lessened (but still present) compared to last summer. vecna was spying on el's progress through mike to make sure he got the timing right to come after max. jonathan is both physically and mentally present this time, and i think he grasps a big piece of what's going on because of this. specifically, the look on his face after mike says "she's fighting him," using someone else's name (like will used el's in the van, and like mike has done a lot to talk about this issue) to express that he's resisting vecna's influence

because mike was so removed from the action for season 4, the part where he's making things happen is still a bit of a mystery to jonathan. people like lucas will probably have to fill in the blanks. if i was writing that revelation, i would use mike being possessed (a familiar concept for the audience) as a lead-in to mike being the source. why did vecna choose mike? the predictable answer would be because it would hurt both el and will, but vecna's plans have much wider scope than that, and mike has always been more than a love interest. hurting people is a bonus, sure, but vecna does that no matter what. the reason he's doing it is to get control (or at least very strong influence) over what's happening

jonathan's goal undoubtedly still includes keeping mike safe. he promised to tell nancy everything, and i think el knows too (at least about the possession, but i wouldn't be surprised if she knew everything) and lucas suspects something, so it seems like, despite his intial hesitance, he's going to start by not keeping this to himself anymore. getting other people in on looking for a solution. he's clearly been floundering on his own, and it's unclear if mike has the time for that anymore

[izooks]

The top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee, Jerry Nadler of New York, said the bill was a “foolhardy attempt to pass for a second time one of the most draconian immigration bills this Congress has ever seen. This rehashing of H.R. 2 is a joke.”

“Republicans have proven that they want the issue more than they want solutions,” he said. “So here we are, again, taking a virtually same draconian bill as before, knowing that if it actually passes the House it will surely go nowhere in the Senate.”

Nadler argued if Republicans were serious about addressing immigration at the southern border, they would have supported the bipartisan border bill in the Senate, instead of rejecting it.