#cw self sacrifice

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Round 5 (main finals): Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Amane Momose (MILGRAM)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Amane Momose (12):

Amane was voted guilty in the first trial so that she would acknowledge her guilt. It backfired, and now she’s considered a threat. Well, everyone is a threat, but nobody’s threat level has been as heavily discussed and debated as hers. Consider the next prisoner in line, Mikoto. He’s objectively more dangerous and cannot be restrained. He beat up the guard in trial 1, and he was able to hold his own when the other guilty prisoners were attacked. But a good incentive to forgive him is so that he will calm down. You know what? That’s a good incentive to forgive Amane too! But she *can* be restrained, so a good portion of the discussion went into how she should be voted guilty so she *will* be restrained and not a threat. Since her vote was a near 50/50, of course a good chunk of the voters expressed dissatisfaction with her forgiven verdict. Some are already planning to vote her guilty for trial 3, calling her a “lost cause”. She hasn’t even done any concrete harm yet. Hold the pitchforks until she actually causes harm, please? And what if she *was* voted guilty in trial 2? We’ve been warned that she will continue to deny our judgement. A second guilty verdict won’t make her better either, and then what? She’d be called a “lost cause” as well. There is no winning with her.

----

Where do I even start? So first of all she’s an cult child who was physically and mentally abused and tortured by her parents and then (presumably) murdered her mother after her mother killed a cat that she took care of.

Now everyone in Milgram is a murderer but when Amane came and her MV showed her murder and circumstance in an admittedly highly fictionalized depiction of it the audience decided to…repeat the cycle of abuse!

She was voted guilty for the main reason of “teaching her” and helping her “realize that she was abused.” I would like to note that this tough love approach is something her parents utilized against her. “We are only doing this to help you.”

So the audience replicates Amane’s abusers and repeats the cycle of abuse and that’s pretty shitty but it isn’t exactly “Fuck Em Kids” level.

And then Trial 2 happened. Cause Amane is bitter and angry and horrifically traumatized so she acts aggressive and hostile. Especially towards another prisoner.

Now, again, everyone here is a fucking murderer (of atleast could be constructed as one) These people being able to Harm is a core concept of this series.

Yet for some reason it feels like people treat Amane as a “delusional creepy kid who wants to kill people” which completly takes away the nuance of her character. She does have the capacity to harm! Everyone here does! She’s not Uniquly Dangerous! She just has a Reason to be Dangerous. A Reason we GAVE HER by REPEATING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE.

In short: In a series full of Murderers I’m honestly a bit pissed that the 12 year old abuse victim is the one who’s treated like the guy from American Pyscho.

----

TL;DR: "We metavoted this abused, indoctrinated child guilty in trial 1, but it didn't work. Now she is a threat to three grown adults: one who is fully free and two whom she has been shown to get along with. Please metavote her guilty again so she will be restrained and unable to attack them, even though that means subjecting her to further psychological torture." Amane Momose is the youngest of ten murderers, prisoners of Milgram who are to be judged innocent (forgiven) or guilty (unforgiven). In the first interrogation (voice drama), she said that what she did was in line with her religion's doctrines. If we judged her the "wrong way", she said she will just deny the verdict. Combining the voice drama and music video, you could piece together that she was raised in a cult and abused, even though she is cheerful and downplays her pain. She never shows *who* she killed, only *why* she did. After the first day of her vote, she was 81% innocent, but this wouldn't last the whole three months. Many people voted her guilty so she would "see her sins", part of the practice commonly known as "metavoting". Her innocent percentage rapidly decreased, and she hit guilty in the last 15 days, finishing at 51% guilty. At the end of the first trial, Jackalope (who is something like a host) went over all the prisoners' verdicts and commented on the general reasoning. When he got to Amane, he *laughed* at the audience for voting that way to make her realize her sins. Trial 2 rolled around, and it was revealed that Amane's victim was her abuser. On day one, she was at 74% innocent. Seems like a cut-and-dry case now, right? Well... in the intermission, two of the prisoners (Fuuta and Mahiru) were badly beaten up and became reliant on the care of Shidou, a doctor. Amane became hostile to Shidou because what he was doing was against her beliefs. She visited all three of them on their birthdays to convince them to change their ways. She seems to be especially close to Fuuta, who is now murmuring about salvation. Guilty prisoners are psychologically tortured, forced to listen to voices that reject their beliefs. Fuuta and Mahiru both say that the mental strain is worse than their physical injuries. But Amane, who also looks worse for wear, was thrown under the bus because she isn't injured and is considered a physical threat to them (never mind that she gets along with them). She's considered a threat to Shidou, a grown man who is twice her size and fully free, while she is partially restricted by the long sleeves in her trial 2 uniform. She might indoctrinate Fuuta even though, in a prison of ten people and one guard, she's the only voice of her cult. Fortunately, she got a break. Her vote was falling at a similar rate to the first trial. But this time, it stabilized at 51% innocent, 12 days before the end of her vote. But there's no way this is over.

[crimsonknightly]

Dear Michael

Answer my prayer you fucking bastard.

I’m out in the open and you’ve got every reason to take me again. Just return Constantine and take me instead, okay? I went right back to the Lux even after everything. I’ve been in contact with Lucifer. So just take me. Give back Constantine and take me.

Please. I’ll do anything. Please just don’t hurt him.

@michael-the-warrior

[go-to-the-mirror]

HEY WELL AT LEAST THEY'RE NONBINARY RIGHT?

he/they jonbinary rights. also oh god oh fuck, time for MAG 132.

@a-mag-a-day

CW: canon- typical suicidal ideation and attempt, canon-typical self sacrificial tendencies. Both discussed more frankly than in the actual podcast.

Also, I'm allowing myself free use of my reaction images (with image descriptions) because I'm in SHAMBLES. Mostly words though.

ARCHIVIST Hello, Melanie. I know I said we’d wait until Basira was back, but I don’t… I’m sorry. I know she won’t… She’d want to do it a different way.

headinhands

Wish me luck. Although, I suppose if you’re hearing this, then I didn’t have any.

The way he says "wish me luck" with that levity and then just hhh like yk joking is one his coping mechanisms for like, crushing fear and grief and stuff, and just the way they SAY it just makes me want to CRY, AAA

I don’t know. I’m… I’m scared. When does the fear go away?

I remember in my first listen, this line stood out to me, I was in shambles, shambles. "When does the fear go away" I'm so, so sorry Jon.

[ID: Drawing of a person sitting at a computer, hands covering their face, crying. /End ID]

Anyway, I’m sorry. You too, Basira, if you’re hearing this. I know you’d stop me. You’d be right to, but … But if this goes wrong, all you lose is … I’m not risking anyone else.

This is a suicide note. Now, he's hoping he'll get out -- probably -- maybe -- but that. It is. Similar. The apology. All you lose is another monster. He might get stuck there forever, he's terrified, he's doing this for someone he doesn't even like out of guilt, out of the crushing -- ha -- amount of guilt, over Tim, over Daisy, over Martin and Basira and Melanie, over his... victims.

In case I don't make it. In case I don't get lucky.

Jonny stop making this podcast so good I'm going to cry.

Let’s do this one properly.

A reference to the Unknowing, where they... did not do it properly.

Stone steps. Roughly hewn. They… They keep going.

Just wanted to point out that he's like, ooh, information gathering. For information's sake, for the people in Artefacts. I think it's neat that he's doing this, and it's a way that makes sense in the world to let us know what's going on. Like how in Malevolent, Arthur's blind and John describes stuff in eloquent detail like some sort of poet or whatever, the statement givers describe the environment and people in their statements, and Jon is describing The Buried.

[The Archivist struggles forward]

Jon's voice in this, it sounds like they're confined, Jonny did a great job on the voice acting there. And the soundscaping in general is like, oh boy claustrophobia time! It's so good.

ARCHIVIST I heard someone. He was begging for me to save him. He said he couldn’t breathe. I can barely breathe. I couldn’t find him, but I am not here for him. I don’t even know him.

The Buried and putting you under the crushing weight of responsibility? Jon went into the coffin because he felt 'crushing' guilt over Tim's death and Daisy's imprisonment in the coffin, and the whole mess that The Unknowing was. In the coffin he's being called by others, and the responsibility of their safety is put on him. Now obviously it's not the other victims who are at fault, however it's interesting that The Buried does that. Perhaps that's how it makes people stay in it, alongside the spooky magic. With putting the responsibility of others on them, making them dig themselves a hole, and not be able to climb out. But Jon has Daisy's tapes as an anchor, he has a purpose, and so he can press on without getting too weighed down?

Just some thoughts.

For all this place closes around me, I feel adrift, like nothing can get through the dirt and the muck and …

This reminds me of how a lot of people say that The Buried and The Vast are quite similar, as an example -- the statement in MAG 195 - Adrift could be either Buried or Vast, big creature, but also crushing depths of water and drowning, but also lots of water. Also the categorizations aren't really like that, again like gender and colours.

The air is heavy – soil and dust. I am very thirsty, but I know I won’t die of it.

Two fun facts about me!

1. I used to live in a desert and the air was like weighted blanket air. I loved it.

2. I used to forget to drink water a lot, and I'd go days where I'd drink like... a glass? Now I drink a minimum of two glasses a day because meds, which has really helped lessen the constant headaches lol. Yea um. Drink water, kiddos.

[He struggles to breath as the Buried squeezes him. The Buried relaxes.]

THE SOUND EDITORS THIS EPISODE WERE KILLING IT!

DAISY —just alone. I think, I think … I hear this, sometimes, singing, when it’s wet. Or, or scratching, trying to get out. But I don’t … I don’t think there’s anyone there. It’s just been me, until now.

Fay Roberts did an excellent job as well. The voice acting <333 10/10 no notes, or like yes notes, and the notes are Feeling Claustrophobic well done.

ARCHIVIST It’s okay, I’ve, uh … I’ve got a plan. DAISY This like all your other plans?

If by "all [their] other plans" she means impulsive, borderline suicidal, and likely to fail... yes.

ARCHIVIST No. I know where we are. There is no out. Not here. This is … This is forever deep below creation, where the weight of existence bears down. This is the Buried, and we are alive. There isn’t even an up. Oh God. What have I done? What have I done?

I really like the way he delivers that line, especially the "This is the Buried, and we are alive" and "Oh God" parts.

DAISY Not alone, though? ARCHIVIST No. No, not alone.

[ID: A blurry screenshot of CC!GoodTimesWithScar from his stream. He's a bit further away from the camera than usual for streams, and has his head in his hands. /End ID]

DAISY Scared. I’m scared. I’ve been scared the whole time here, not just when it’s crushing, when it fills your mouth with dirt. It knows when to stop, or when to ease back so you don’t lose it or grow numb. Leaves you terrified for when it starts again, and when it does, you’re scared it’ll never stop.

My friend, Jay Mapleejay -- who you should follow by the way, @/mapleejay or @/mapleeowl everywhere -- once wondered how the Domains in the Eyepocolypse kept people afraid without the memory loss like in MAG 170. And there's your answer probably.

Also :(

The Hunt was me, but I don’t think I liked it. I think it just made me need it.

Idk what to say, just like this line.

I don’t … I don’t know who I am without the chase. I just know that I don’t like who I was back outside. I don’t want to be her again. I want to be better.

Same for this.

ARCHIVIST One thing I’ve learned, Daisy, is that we all get a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.

Themes of choice in The Magnus Archivessssss this podcast makes me abnormal in so many ways <333

ARCHIVIST And now? DAISY Don’t know. I miss dreaming. You don’t sleep down here. ARCHIVIST Daisy, you should know I’m … If I wasn’t human before, I’m even less human now. DAISY Yeah, well. At the moment, I don’t care. ARCHIVIST And if we get out? DAISY But we can’t get out. [The Earth shifts.] (The Archivist grunts in pain.) DAISY (Pained) I’m sorry. I’m sorry, John. I’m sorry.

I just really like this exchange :(

[The coffin door creaks open and, groaning with effort, the Archivist and Daisy crawl out into the office. There are many tape recorders playing in the background.] [...] ARCHIVIST Tape recorders. M-must be dozens of them.

The Web my absolute beloathed. Now, I love Martin K-Anchor Blackwood as much as the next hopeless (a)romantic, however I don't think that it was Martin's love for Jon that pulled Jon out The Buried, I think it was The Web. Well, The Web definitely influenced Martin, however we do know that The Web has used their... undying love for one another against them *cough cough* *wink wink* *nudge nudge*, so it could have been the act of Martin leaving the tape recorders, but my personal theory is that it was just The Web. Uh oh, Jo(h)n (/ref).

Anyway! Ain't it great! Daisy's back! Jon isn't constantly alone!

He...

I'm going to have a lot of talking to do come MAG 136.

[sofancydancy]

The grip his stomach has on me is insane--

Hi!! Editing to thank you all so much and to say the finished version is now in the replies/with the link! 💜

[butterflyscribbles]

“Just like your dad…so eager to serve others as the soup has only just begun to simmer…

Give it time.”

AU where someone very different was waiting for MK after he stepped into the pillar🐷💜

[dailyhmsw]

loop 47

sacrifice

[robo-milky]

ROOKLOCHE NATION YOU GET TO EAT! I present Rook and Cloche’ very first time meeting face-to-face- Hehe, unofficial sequel of the Rook’s Dove comic (except it’s been way too long and screw it- we’re rolling with the regular school uniform-) What the hell is making a longer comic? I’ll state things as they are at this point 😔

[Notes]

- As a refresher, Rook met feral! Cloche first and is very disappointed that Cloche isn’t as wild as he wanted her to be.

- Feral! Cloche is so much stealthier, agile, and stronger than Cloche. Since regular Cloche is conscious of her movements, her overthinking impedes her body— making her clumsier than feral! Cloche (in terms of mobility.)

- Feral! Cloche definitely adopts a more cat-like behaviour. She can still walk on two legs, but she’ll feel more comfortable running and pouncing on all fours. Cloche’ wildness scales with how strong her emotions are. (Typically running around the forest for an hour should revert her back to her usual mentality, but that feral side may linger if there’s leftover resentment/excitement/any particularly strong feeling.)

- Despite feral! Cloche’ vigour, regular Cloche will suffer the consequences of whatever her other side overworked- Outrunning a threat or doing heavy lifting? Sore muscles afterwards. Ate a wild bird out of stress? Yeah no- Cloche is still gonna get a stomachache or possibly contract whatever disease is in it- 💀

- Intrusive thoughts? Adrenaline? Id? That’s her-

- It’s not common for feral! Cloche to manifest out of negative emotions- more bits of her will pop out when Cloche is particularly happy or pleased.

- Whenever Rook sees Cloche afterwards, he almost never gets to see feral! Cloche again, UNLESS he’s observing as an outsider or Cloche is in that much of an emotional wreck.

- Since Cloche never really did “love” Rook (deluded herself into having a crush on him as a motivation), feral! Cloche is actually indifferent to Rook’s presence. She doesn’t really pop out, and it’s usually regular Cloche conditioning herself to be all giddy/shy about Rook.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man

[whump-in-the-closet]

He didn’t realise what capture meant for his friend. For his never-smiling, always-glaring friend. His friend hid the fear so well. Hid it with sarcasm and long, trailing curses until their captor threatened to gag them.

When his friend spat in their captor’s face and was dragged away, he called out: “You can’t hurt them.”

And he believed it. They were iron-forged.

His friend didn’t come back for hours. Sometimes he could hear screams. Staccato, broken off screams, like they’d been cut off with a sharp blow.

When his friend was dropped to the cell floor—crimson hand-shaped smears left behind— the world snapped beneath his feet.

His friend couldn’t be—

That couldn’t be his friend.

Shoulders shaking as they sobbed? Their glare replaced with terror? No. No no nono—

Their captor came back for his friend. This time, he lunged against the chains. “Don’t fucking touch them!”

The screams came faster this time, dragging on and on and on.

He thought, if he could, he’d rip his ears off. If only to stop the screaming.

The bleeding screams. Open-mouthed horror. Why were the walls so thin?

His friend was kicked into the cell and they collapsed almost instantly. They didn’t move.

It was a long, quiet night.

In the morning, their captor laughed as they grabbed the bleeding shape that was their friend.

He spat the words out. “Coward! Take me instead!”

[uorufein]

At the end of this story, there is only a cold spot

Stained with blood and empty air

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Round 4: Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Ken Amada (Persona 3)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Ken Amada (11):

y'all are all for "murder and revenge plots" until is a 10 y/o boy who watched his mother die and started to become conflicted after realizing his moms killer is a secretly kind traumatized teenager to the point where the 10 y/o boy attempts to kill himself by giving himself up to assassins.

bro he's 10.

----

ken amada is such an interesting character with the unfortunate circumstances of having little screentime and atlus deciding to ruin his reputation forever by giving him a romance choice in the fem protag route. ken is a child who lost his mother at NINE. nobody ever believed him when he said that she was murdered, and that he saw who killed her. hes miserable, and all everyone around him does is give him sympathy while hes suffering and was forced to grow up before even going into middle school. hes angry and determined to get revenge on the person who killed his mother, and he doesnt even see the own value in living anymore beyond getting that revenge. hes more mature than most of his peers, and is desperate to be seen as an adult.but at the same time, he is still a child who likes superhero shows.

----

OH GOD WHERE DO I START

First there's the normal "The fandom hates kids" complaints of "He's so whiny" "he's so annoying" "oh my god kid just SHUT UP" y'know, the typical fandom stuff that makes you wonder if these people have ever talked to a child in their life

Second, there's (spoilers)...

October 4th, and the ENTIRE FANDOM is calling this kid a murderer.

For context, the moment in question doesn't necessarily paint him in the best light but its still understandable. Your team is going on a mission while Ken and another character named Shinjiro are away. In an alleyway, they have a talk where it is revealed that on that night a year priar to the game, Kens mom was killed in that allleyway by Shinjiro's Persona (Which, by the Rules of the Game Lore, basically means By Shinjiro). Ken tried to tell the authorities, the authorities didn't believe him because Magic Reasons and the death was ruled an accident.

Of course Ken is Fucking Pissed and wants revenge

However, because of Talk, he ACTIVELY CALMS DOWN, and realises "Hey, I probably shouldn't kill someone. Despite them, y'know, killing my mom"

HOWEVER REVOLVER JESUS COMES IN AND RUINS EVERYTHING BY SHOOTING SHINJIRO. AND LIKE, IF YOU PLAY P3P YOU CAN /AVOID THE DEATH THING/

AND EVERYONE BLAMES /KEN/. AND ONLY KEN.

And third (yes, there's a THIRD) IS THE FUCKING FEMC ROMANCE THING. WHICH JUST...SHOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT NOW HE'S "SHOTA BAIT" BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BLAME THE CHILD FOR THE AUTHORITY FIGURE COMING ONTO THEM 😒

[crimsonknightly]

Constantine's not here

Crimson woke up and Constantine's not here. He's not in the Lux. Which means...

He's not answering his phone. Nobody can reach him. The last person that Crimson was actually comfortable being around and he's gone now. They're alone.

Crimson can't stop hyperventilating. They know they're panicking. This has happened a few times before. They can't stop pacing around the room.

Crimson leaves the room, descends the stairs, and walks out of the Lux. It doesn't matter where they're going, they're not going anywhere. They just need to go. Away from the Lux. Away from safety because the safety isn't safe anymore. Constantine's gone.

Deep down, Crimson is hoping Michael takes her again. At least then, she'd know he didn't have Constantine. Please, let him not have Constantine. Please. Please. Please.

[go-to-the-mirror]

chains? wtf is this? a dungeon??

do they have chains in modern day prisons? i really don't think they have chains in modern day prisons. did elias just get the chains for show?

anyway, welcome to your regularly scheduled rambling! I have thoughts about this episode, so, be prepared for good words :D!

@a-mag-a-day

CWs for suicide/self-sacrifice (discussed, canon-typical)

ELIAS Come on, Martin, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you; let’s not start with lies.

For some reason, the "let's not start with lies" part of this sounds a lot like Zolf Smith from RQG. Yes, I know Ben Meredith voices both of them, but this sounds a lot like Zolf, more than Elias usually.

ELIAS My relationship to the apocalypse is more… complicated.

Bastard.

ELIAS In my case, while Peter has talked of it before, it is only very recently that I’ve been forced to admit The Extinction is real. And as for our dear Archivist, I’m afraid I no longer have any real control over what he does or does not know. Unlike yourself.

HE SAYS, HIDING IN PRISON BECAUSE OTHERWISE JON'LL KNOW ABOUT HIS *tim voice* SPOOKY EVIL PLANS.

MARTIN Yeah well, I’m still not sure I really believe it. A-And I don’t— I’m… ELIAS Worried he might charge off into another coffin?

Like, alright, whatever, it's a valid fear, I'd understand why Martin would be worried about that, I'd be worried about that in Martin's position. But, well, I'm not in Martin's position, not with this. I've been on the other side of that, and... I mean he's not talking to Jon but this line in MAG 199:

MARTIN And you can’t just arbitrarily decide it isn’t, because you want a better reason to martyr yourself! ARCHIVIST That’s not what’s happening! MARTIN Isn’t it?

It just feels similar to me, people throwing that you did something stupid once back in your face, it stings, it hurts. It feels like they don't trust you anymore, to me... it feels like they're... using it as... like a way to hurt you, and I understand that Martin's worried here, and yeah Jon's not exactly the fondest of living in this episode or 199, but... I don't know... I just think that hearing that Martin's motivation -- at least partially -- for dealing with the extinction on his own was worrying about Jon charging off into another coffin would probably make him feel guilty, and ashamed, and hurt, and feel the urge to jump into another coffin because it's awkward and it's private.

MARTIN (Incredulous) What? That’s it? No, no monologue? No mind games? You love manipulating people. ELIAS That makes two of us. But no, this too important for me to jeopardise with cheap “mind games”. I simply have to trust that when the time comes, you’ll make the right choice.

Oh really? Oh, really, mate? Bloody hell, I want to punch him.

What we built at Millbank should be left well enough alone, resigned to the nightmares of the reprobates and brigands contained within its walls.

Literally, must I point it out?

Did I ever tell you about the dreams? I’m sure I must have. I would dream about them, you see, as a young man. Long before I devised my taxonomy. I would find myself in nightmares of strange far-off places: a field of graves, a grasping tunnel, an abattoir knee deep in pigs’ blood. I believed then, as I still believe now, that these places I saw were the Powers themselves, expressed in their truest form, far more entirely than any secret book can claim. And if, as I came to believe, the Dread Powers were themselves places of a sort, then surely with the right space, the right architecture, they could be contained. Channelled. Harnessed.

Mass ritual? With the dreams, I still hear the song in my dreams, the different fears, the looking up and the sky blinks like??? Was the reform club an unknowing attempt at a mass ritual -- or no, not unknowing, without understanding. He intended to channel all of them for "balance," presumably, but instead he channelled all of them for... not a lovely time in spooky tunnels. These are wild theories I'm throwing out here but... it's not that far fetched.

Apocalypse. Apotheosis.

Look, I just like this line. I quote it so much.

I wonder, did my work bring about these dreadful things, or did I simply develop the means by which they can be known?

Actually... both, sort of? I mean, I'm not sure about the rituals, but the powers themselves... I'm not saying that he was right or whatever, but I am saying that his classification system was so popular that it shaped the fears themselves, you know as a mag a day said before, dreams are shaped by the dreamers.

Fictionalized Robert Smirke learn about spectrums challenge.

I have been dreaming again, Jonah. The same every night for months now. I imagine myself a boy again at Aspley. I awake, cold and alone, in the dormitory. The sky outside is dark and I see no stars. I light a candle to better see my way and step down the silent corridor. The masters’ rooms are empty, the fire in the kitchen is dead. Eventually my steps lead out into the courtyard. It is so quiet that the sound of my feet upon the grass is painful to my ears. I stop and look up at the sky, that empty black nothing and I see the edges of the horizon becoming a dull white. I cannot understand what I am looking at. And then the sky blinks. And I awake.

(MAG 138)

And at last, the Archivist looks up. At last he looks into the eye that sees all and knows all and clutches at the secret terrors of your heart. The ceaseless watcher of all that is and all that was. The voracious infinite hunger that tears at his soul, invoking him to discover, to observe, to experience all and everything and forever. It stares into him and it stares out of him and he is falling into the devouring eternity of its pupil. He wants to cry out in horror, but he cannot. He is whole.

(MAG 120)

ARCHIVIST Look at the sky, Martin. Look at the sky. It’s looking back.

(MAG 160)

Well. Looking up, the sky looks back, ooooh foreshadowing, sort of. I just, I just love it! Like dreaming, and then the eyepocolypse is dream logic and all and it's I don't know just look at these quotes I took.

Last night I was awoken by a noise from the drawing room. [...] It was then I began composing this letter.

This section is pretty spooky! I like it :3

Uh, a-apparently Robert Smirke was found collapsed in his study that evening, dead of, uh, “apoplexy”.

Used to refer to a stroke.

Good luck, Jon, I— Stay safe.

HE WAS ABOUT TO SAY I LOVE YOU D:

stop pining and just gouge your eyes out and make out, I beg.

Anyway, fun episode! Pretty spooky! Oversharing on tumblr dot com, sorry lol. can't wait till chosen tomorrow :3

[sofancydancy]

Okay, so the poll reached about 70% on this one and I jumped on it because I'm ADHD...Seriously, thank you for those who voted!! Going for a Lucretia type of martyr! I am obsessed with the stomach currently because the original painting is so fleshy! Also: from far away this looks like a spicy novel cover

Gale approves

[anarchist-bean]

Sacrifice or Suicide?

I don’t see Lilly’s self-immolation as an act of suicide but moreso as sacrificial and symbolic.

Bushnell didn’t show any signs of suicidality - if so she would’ve been discharged out of the military held in a VA psych ward. Especially with a security clearance as high as hers.

Lilly was incredibly methodical about her self-immolation it was to symbolize and force the globe to see what’s happening in Palestine.

Bushnell wouldn’t have wanted copycats and I do not condone anyone to self-immolate whatsoever.

Yet, I still think it is important to understand and remember these people for who they were based on their own accounts rather than mainstream media accounts which already hate anarchists like us.

PSA: If you or anyone you know are feeling suicidal, please reach out for help!

Call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line

Call, text, or chat with The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

[drunkenmantis]

what if....