#this is also my current mood bc idk what regular sleep is

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

wife wife i have no music taste, but you feel musical to me! will you drop any songs you relate to your universes stans, kyles and style in general? if not music books, other characters, pieces of media, quotes, poems? i am insatiable darling <3

YOYOYO!!!!!!

First of all hello my wife my wife the love of my life! (I did in fact ride half of my first year of college on a music scholarship)

OKAY so you know how heavily I associate Fall Out Boy with Stan in general (mostly bc I like projecting and I’m a gremlin abt fob) SPECIFICALLY Infinity On High (I know we’ve discussed this before and yes I’m still unhinged abt the 27 rm thing) AND I’ve said a LOT abt OrangeJuiceVerse Stan being musically inclined as one of his main outlets.

(I will be mainly sticking to ojv bc that do be my main focus atm)

So Stan will play literally whatever on the guitar and he can improvise SO WELL!!! Like it’s wild but he’s just like eh it’s a casual hobby but he hears a song and immediately knows the basic chord progression and bpm he’s the king of countermelodies too. Kenny will start playing something and then Stan will pop in with the most gorgeous harmonies and just…. fall in.

Stan will listen to ANYTHING he especially loves songs with a story (I’m sticking to ATLCTS for him being a Tenacious D fan bc I very much enjoy that) and Kyle, while Stan is all “LISTEN TO THAT CELLO BREAK” Kyle Is all fully into the lyricism and losing his shit about RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES AND SLEEPING WITH- (I feel like they have similar tastes but for different reasons if u get me)

My Kyle’s for sure are lyrics gremlins. Stan will be like KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE but Kyle will be WAIT LOOK THE STORY HOLY SHIT SYMBOLISM(smh they whole ass watch musicals together and neither of them stfu) (losers)

(This is unhinged I’m eepy) so song specific idk man but I feel in my soul that Stan’s hopeless romantic ass serenades Kyle on a regular basis ESPECIALLY when he’s in an Emo Boy Mood like this man thinks he’s Orpheus or something ALSO Stan is incredibly specific about having certain playlists for every single situation and the “Super Best Spicy Time” playlist is INCREDIBLY LAME!!! (I’m talkin Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Mr Brightside was playing during their first time) like they are losers your honor

On FOB Stan I’m currently specifically feeling him with What A Catch, The (After) Life Of The Party, From Now On We Are Enemies, Golden, Fame< Infamy, The (Shipped) Gold Standard, She’s My Winona, Disloyal Order, A Little Less Sixteen Candles, Heavens Gate, SOPHOMORE SLUMP IS SO STYLE OMG

Sorry that was a lot I’m very passionate abt the fob Stan thing

EVERY LAME ASS SAPPY LOVE SONG IS EXTREMELY STYLE TO ME!!! If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell, I’ll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie, LINE WITHOUT A HOOK?!? Nothing Matters But You by The Young Veins, Northern Downpour and When The Day Met The Night by Panic, I Think I Love You by Tenacious D, All I Ask Of You from Phantom (btw I saw someone draw a style phantom of the opera au it slayed so hard), Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John (there’s this scene in a fic I read where Stan plays it for Kyle on his guitar and I lost my mind), ofc Carry On Wayward Son, Accidentally In Love by the counting crows, Turn Off The Lights from the Vices and Virtues bonus tracks, As Long As You’re Mine from Wicked (I feel like Kyle fuckinh loves Wicked) All I’ve Ever Known from Hadestown.

OJV Kyle for sure listens to the acoustic versions of pop songs and is SUCH a sap (he won’t admit it as much as Stan tho) like he’ll pause a song after a particularly clever or romantic line and just be like DID YOU HEAR THAT! Stan writes songs every once in a while and whenever he writes for Ky he always tries to paint a story because that’s what Kyle likes help I love them so much

As for other media I associate w the boys, bruh lemme tell ya the sp brainrot is so real I physically cannot watch or read anything without imagining a couple as style (literally last night my partner and I were watching the picture lock of the last feature we worked on and I’m over here looking at the two main characters like hmm who is Stan who is Kyle I’m the WORST)

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure is so Them to me holy shit like best friends getting into situations and being obsessed with each other I love that shit (u can’t tell me Bill and Ted aren’t in love)

This comes as no surprise to anyone but Lord Of The Rings for sure, especially since i decided that they speak elvish to each other on the regular

I’ve also said it before but!!! As a massive PJO/Riordanverse fan, THEY ARE SO PERCABETH CODED!!! We got Stan/Percy as the reluctant hero who everyone looks to, Kyle/Annabeth as the badass short tempered voice of reason, like DUDE.

(Also I hope you know how much your fics have influenced my mindset like I’ll drive past Taco Bell and be like o look style moment and I saw Fireball at the gas station and thought abt rm Stan)

Anyway this is long as SHIT I’m completely insane it’s fine THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ILY

[unimatronic]

peepers mood

[astralscrivener]

ALL ODDS!! NO RULES!!! ILY

fuck u nicole!!! (ilyt!!!)

1, 39, and 43 answered here | 35 and 41 answered here

3. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on?

usually like. buzzfeed unsolved or a booktube rant review, but usually when i need something on i go to spotify and play either like. instrumental music or starset lmao

5. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own?

my combat boots make me look taller and feel like i can kill a man, so

7. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?

i genuinely have no idea, i tune out when my family talks abt my younger years bc usually it’s to bring up embarrassing things i did so they can laugh at me

9. Look up. What’s directly across from you?

well, currently my laptop screen

11. Preferred way to spend a rainy day?

usually reading a nice book or getting writing done but as of late it has been “stare at the ceiling while i contemplate how many hours i am losing as i procrastinate”

13. Brunch or midnight snacks?

i love brunch but i’m a goblin with a terrible sleep schedule so i end up eating midnight snacks

15. What coffee drink would you describe yourself as?

you ordered a regular iced coffee with a nice caramel swirl and cream and sugar but they shorted you on your sugar and went overboard with the cream and also gave u dark roast for whatever reason??? and you’re looking closer and dear god you accidentally ordered coconut caramel and you’re allergic to coconut

17. Fruity or herbal teas?

i’ll take either tbh but mostly i drink herbal bc it’s. allegedly supposed to help with sleep and headaches and anxiety so,

19. That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?

pride & prejudice lmao

21. Have you ever been horseback riding?

no bc i was not a horse girl nicole

23. Have you ever been to jail?

no i’m a goody two shoes

25. Puzzles?

gimme

27. What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?

first i find the YA/NA and then i head straight for scifi/fantasy

29. Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?

usually the score or written by wolves

31. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?

i wanna wear my prom dress again tbh

33. If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?

baby dragon next question

37. Lakes, rivers, or oceans?

they’re all lovely in their own way and my desire to be near one over the other depends on the weather and also my mood

45. Name a classic Vine

does anyone remember when that “wop” song was really popular on vine back in like, 2013. bc i never see it in vine comps anymore but i always think about that one person who danced to it while cleaning their kitchen

47. How do you top your ice cream?

i usually don’t but if i do it’s with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles

49. What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did?

............i dunno, some clutch dice rolls? idk man

quarantine asks!!

[lostpoliticians]

oh and when I went to see my doctor the other day thinking he would give me idk gabbapentin or SOMETHING that will actually help my anxiety. Wrote I saw my psychiatrist this coming week this mf doctor prescribed me multiple antidepressants....

Antidepressants I’ve tried to off myself on multiple times, also, mind you, I am not depressed. I am full of so much anxiety and rage that it just makes me have crying spells and manic episodes. I need a fucking IV of Valium or something. Not really bc that’s not going to do me any good but like I miss the old me from like six months ago when I would just work all the time and just be exhausted from work. But I felt so fulfilled. And I feel somewhat better now that I’ve been back to work the last two weeks but also, dear god I’ve never experienced my anxiety so bad that my skin dead ass crawls. And I get to violent. It is so scary and explosive.

My boyfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary early last week and it was perfect, he is perfect, he fight but it’s bc of my goddamn mood swings and we got in an argument bc he couldn’t understand how empathetic I could be towards strangers (not saying he’s not, he just was raised from a very good up bringing where he didn’t have to think about helping a classmate pay for their lunch or trip to cedar point). But anyways, since we’ve been together for over a year now my open mindedness and loud ass mouth that never stops running have deff converted some of his prejudice or close minded views on things which is AWESOME. We Stan a man that can grow and allow his girl to educate him on real world issues, bc he lives under a rock. He grew up with a lot of money, (ok more than me), and had a great home life. Besides of horrible choices he made on his own but he’s clean now and better.

ANYWAYS!!!! So my sisters best friend just passed and I’ve been distraught bc yes as cliche as it fucking sounds I am very much an empath. So, I feel the loss my sister is carrying in her heart when it comes to dealing with the loss of her soul sister. So anyways In the midst of my boyfriend and I having this conversation about my sister’s friend’s passing and how unfair it is that she was so young and so healthy and so lively and everybody loved her...and now she’s just gone. Alex did understand why I was sobbing for my sisters best friend loss but my sister was stone cold about it. That’s just how she is around people but behind close doors she breaks down. So, when I don’t feel heard or understood properly (ok I’m realizing now I have hella anger issues) I result to violence. And I don’t mean like throwing a remote across the room, I’m talking, I grabbed the bunch of beautifully trimmed sunflowers Alex bought me for our one year anniversary (which no many has ever never bought me my favorite flowers before) and I ripped them in half and started screaming and I threw the vase. And I was just throwing shit and hitting myself all over and in the face and yes I gave myself a black eye.

I have never ever ever been through this much fucking stress and sadness before in my entire life. I feel so batshit insane and I know I’m not, I know I’m not alone but the older I get the weak my mental health get and I know a lot more mental illnesses are more prominente once you hit your mid to late 20’s and guess what....I turn 25 next week....and these last two years I have felt so many highs n lows but have just played them off bc typically I can get myself back on track. But these mood swings I’ve been having bc of my anxiety lately. Sorry this is just a manic ass sleepless post...I’m waiting for my Xanax to kick in so I can finally lay my head down and rest. But I don’t even think the amount of green hulks I have currently could knock me out right now.

I can’t wait to see my psych doctor Tuesday. I hope he knows I’m getting more than an hour with him. Idgaf if I have to pay an extra $300 out of pocket for an extra two hours. Like, let’s go babe, let’s figure out wtf we can do to fix my mental

Oh AND I got my obgyn procedure results back and they came back perfect no signs of infection with cancer and stuff then I get a whole call again from their office like not even an hour later telling me m doctor reviewed my file in more detail and that pretty much I should be worried and I need to come back in ASAP to get another procedure done. Like, just take all my lady bits out so I can stop worrying about getting cancer bc it’s genetic. Like, Alex and I will adopt a black baby or soemthing just fucking end my shit so I can finally enjoy sex again and not have to go to the obgyn once a month get my cervix scrapped to test for cancerous cells.

I’m so sorry if any of you read all of this. And if you did, you a real one, and please message me bc I am so lonely and I could use someone that can relate to even a FRACTION of what I’m dealing with. Please.

And how fucked is it that my current regular doctor couldn’t even prescribe me server anxiety meds for the two weeks from then to my actual psych appointment a week away? And I had to go to the streets and buy Xanax just so I could fucking sleep dude like. This is backwards. And I’ve had such an issue with Xanax in the past but it is the only thing that calms me down when I start seeing red bc my anxiety makes me turn emotions into rage. It’s so exhausting.

[enbyboiwonder]

Tagged by @frozenmemories1987

So I don’t really understand how this one works, so I’m just gonna answer all the questions and number them consecutively. Upfront I’m gonna say that I’m not tagging anyone, but as always, if you wish to do it, consider yourself tagged. Also, this is going under a read more. Save the thumbs of any mobile users

01. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?

It’s been months, so I can’t remember, sorry

02. What’s your favorite game to play?

Currently it’s Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2. I hadn’t played it since I got it (and beat it all in one go), and I forgot just how much I love this game. It’s like Pokémon meets Dragon Quest, and it’s amazing. On the one hand, making a team entirely of dragons might be a bad idea, but on the other hand, I freaking love dragons. I should probably synth one with a healing skillset if I’m gonna do that - possibly Cure-all since that’s got Multiheal. My current party is a Lv 20 great argon lizard named Rory, a Lv 24 slime stack with Cure-all named Sticker, and a Lv 19 aquestrian gladiator with Huntsman named Mizuno. When I leave them to their own devices, Mizuno really loves using Penny Pincher, which tbh I cannot fault him for - normal damage plus the chance to pinch a few gold coins? Heck yes. At least he’s got 44 MP, so I haven’t had to change his tactics to “Don’t Use Magic” yet (the skill costs 2 MP)

03. Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate

04. What’s the last show you binge-watched?

NUMB3RS (though I’m still working on that one)

05. Do you have any pets?

No

06. What’s your favorite fairy tale?

I dunno. I don’t actually read very many fairy tales

07. Who’s your favorite superhero?

Superhero stuff doesn’t normally appeal to me, but I do like Cisco Ramon/Vibe and Ray Palmer/The Atom from CW’s Arrowverse

08. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?

Erm, Rapunzel, I guess?

09. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?

I know I’m gonna hang out with my friend like we were planning to before this started, but as for where... probably Barnes & Noble since that’s where we usually go, but who knows (I say, knowing full well that neither of us know where to go, and we go to HPB when we’re specifically looking for a book but default to B&N bc of the café and seating area)

10. Cookies or cake?

Cookies

11. What show could you watch over and over?

Monk, CSI, and Psych, to name a few

12. Favorite song lyric?

See, I have to believe that there’s more than this seems More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams And I have to be sure that there’s gonna be a cure ‘Cause, somewhere down the line, I lost that part of me that’s pure

 - Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory

13. Favorite season of your favorite TV show?

S14 of CSI, probably

14. What never fails to make you smile/happy?

Seeing I’ve got a comment on AO3

15. How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (coronavirus, having to do social distancing, etc.)?

My lifestyle hasn’t changed at all, though for some reason I’ve actually been getting way more crocheting and video-gaming done than usual (at the expense, of course, of less reading and writing and TV-watching. Unfortunately). But we have lost business at the doughnut shop so I haven’t been working as many days - usually I work Monday and Friday - which, on the one hand, less money, but on the other hand, I’ve gotten more rest so my bruised ribs (from coughing; I had strep about a month and a half ago, and that always leaves me with a cough for a while, though it’s never been this bad before) are mostly healed now

16. We all love new music to listen to. Name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out:

Thriving Ivory/Midnight Cinema (same band, different songwriters; Thriving Ivory is more piano-driven and leans more toward alt/alt-rock, while Midnight Cinema is more pop)

17. TV shows or movies?

TV shows

18. Favorite holiday?

Halloween

19. A song that describes you:

I’ve always related to Some Kind of Home by Thriving Ivory

20. Describe your tumblr in three words:

“hella queer animal-lover” idk

21. What’s your favorite hobby?

It depends on my mood, but rn it’s crocheting!

22. What’s your favorite book and/or a really good book you’ve read recently?

CSI: Miami: Cut and Run by Donn Cortez is amazing. I read it back in January and then reread it this month. Probably will be rereading it again before long tbh

Another really good one I’ve read recently is How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse by K. Eason. It just came out like six months ago, so the second one won’t be out any time soon, but I am ready for it when it does (more than ready, actually; I can’t wait)

23. What’s your favorite ship that will never happen (or hasn’t happened yet)?

I really wish they had done something with Greg/Hodges. I mean, they had the perfect setup for it in 11.07 Bump and Grind, what with their “man-dates” (that never get mentioned again)!! Their man-dates become a regular thing that they do like every week or whatever, eventually they realize that they’re actual dates and have been for a while and they start consciously dating. Maybe Greg already knows he’s bi and is totally cool with it, maybe David’s been repressed and realizes that, oh, that’s why something’s always seemed like it was missing when he tried dating before: he’s gay.

Unsurprisingly, I have a few 11.07 fics in my WIPs

(But also, considering CSI’s track record with respecting queer people [poor], I’m kinda glad they didn’t. Woulda been nice, though, long as they'da done it right)

A ship that I’m really hoping will happen is Penelope and Schneider from One Day at a Time. I love them so much

24. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?

I would rather meet a celebrity in passing than spend a day with them. I am far too awkward and anxious, and I’m afraid it would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us

25. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen - a movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it:

I don’t think I have any like this

26. When you read, do you prefer an eReader or an actual, physical book?

Paper books all the way, baby

27. Favorite movie?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, probably

28. What does a normal day look like for you?

I stay in bed reading or playing games on my phone (or, more recently, on my DS) for as long as possible, dick around on here for a while whilst also trying to get at least some SwagBucks in another window, try not to forget to eat lunch, play the free money apps I have on my phone while either listening to music on my laptop or watching shows either on my laptop or the TV, try not to forget to eat dinner, watch some more TV or get some reading or gaming in, try not to stay up too late, take over an hour to fall asleep, maybe if I’m lucky get some writing done at some point during any of this (and if I’m really lucky it won’t be while I’m trying to sleep, but usually it is, damn brain)

29. Have you ever watched a show/movie for one character? If so, who?

Normally when I watch something specifically for someone, it’s for an actor I like, but I started watching CW’s The Flash specifically for Cisco Ramon (well, and Harry Wells and their relationship, but mostly Cisco) and Legends of Tomorrow specifically for Ray Palmer, whom I fell in love with in his ep on The Flash lol

30. What is your ultimate concert (musicians/bands from any period, alive or dead)?

I don’t go to concerts (they seem like they’d be very overwhelming), so, none, I guess

31. Book that you were forced to read in school that you hated the most:

God, I fucking hated To Kill a Mockingbird. Actually, I think the only one I actually liked was The Importance of Being Earnest

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #254

“i hate that it seems you were never enough; we were broken and bleeding, but never gave up.”

What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten? My late dog Teddy. Well technically, it was a container of puppy chow behind the tree, but in essence, him. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? I don't think so? Do you think you have a good understanding of love? Yes. What do you want to do on your honeymoon? Relax and enjoy quality time w/ my spouse somewhere great. Do you think Medical Marijuana should be legalized? Yes. If you were forced to dye your hair another color, what color would you get? At this current time, silver. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them, a lot. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Actually talk, Mom. But I text Sara more. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? Uhhh "</code>" by MIW came to me first. What celebrity would you like to meet? M-M-M-mARk What is your favorite clothing store? I can't really say. I like Hot Topic's content most, but they're really not all that broad in size range, so it seems unfair to say them. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? Hell if I know, I don't make those. Do you like to wear high heels? No. What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? Honestly, if it didn't mean leaving Mom behind, I'd go to Canada by now. Recent events have me fucking livid with America's healthcare system. What’s your favorite song from a movie? Like, it was made for the movie? Man, I dunno. Probably something off Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, though. The soundtrack is magical. Where would you like to volunteer? Realistically, I don't know. A zoo would be incredible, but I handle heat incredibly poorly and also canfuckingnot pick up feces or touch vomit. So, that takes a big chunk out of what volunteers can do there. What’s the last song you listened to? "Another Life" by MIW is on repeat right now and I need to turn it the fuck off because I'm in a bad PTSD episode. Do you like being alone? Sometimes, yes, but not for too long. How do you find new music? YouTube recommendations, usually. What’s your favorite city? I don't have a favorite. I've only ever once been to an even remotely impressive one: Chicago. What’s the last YouTube video you watched? Some tarantula one. I'm fucking addicted to tarantulas now and need a Mexican red knee like now. Once we (hopefully) move, I'm gonna at least try talking Mom into it. Where are you going on your next trip? I don't know. If you had to make a six-hour cross-country journey, would you rather take the train, fly or drive? How come? Fly, if I had the window seat. It's relaxing. How long do your earphones tend to last before the connection goes and you have to replace them? Considering I'm like, constantly using them, Mom says they die fast, judging by how frequently I let her know I need a new pair. She got me a big box of them for Christmas, even. I've got one extra pair left. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, assuming it would look perfect with your coloring, what would you pick and why? Pastel pink bc aesthetic. Are you a fan of musicals? If you are, what ones have you seen live and which ones would you like to see? No. Have you ever had to give up something you were addicted to? Did you actually succeed? Yes. Have you ever had to work (or study) with someone that you really didn’t get along with? How did you deal with it (ignoring them, being nice, etc.)? Maybe at some point, idk. Have you ever had any problems with your wisdom teeth, or have they been taken out already? No. Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? Hearing, probably. That'd feel so lonely. Do you find your mood changes when you’re hungry or tired? Does eating or sleeping automatically cure you of a bad mood? I can definitely become irritable if I'm extremely hungry and/or tired. Sleeping helps me with a lot of problems, lmao. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? Did you make up with that person or did you end up losing them over it? Oh idk. Probably something RP-related as a kid. Have you ever gotten really bad travel sickness? Has this put you off travelling or going by certain modes of transport in case it happens again? No, thankfully. What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? I don't support it. Just leaving it at that. If it was a case of prostitution or being evicted from your home, which option would you pick (assuming you’d tried everything else to make money first)? Evict me. Morally, prostituting would kill me. I have family who thankfully I know would let me stay with them. Are you into piercings and tattoos? If not, do you judge people who are, and vice versa? Hell yeah, so I obviously don't judge people who are. What’s your opinion on places like Seaworld? Do you think keeping whales and dolphins in such small enclosures is cruel or a necessary evil? First: I'm not very educated on how similar *all* Seaworlds are. But in regards to keeping whales, it's inhumane as all fuck. They are WAY too big to be held in such a small space for our goddamn amusement. I support zoos who do what they do for conservation and educational purposes, but from my memory of Seaworld, that's not their primary concern. Who is one person that you no longer hang out with? Why did that association end? My former best friend. There's a novel on why I don't associate with her anymore, but the top reason would be she's just a drama magnet that does no wrong. Wonders why her life is so insane and tumultuous while never looking into herself as the potential reason. What was the last item you put into your pants pocket? I don't really wear pants with pockets, but I'm sure in the last case, it woulda been my phone or money. Who was the last person to endanger your life, whether it was accidentally or intentionally? Well I'm certain it was accidental, but idk what the most recent situation would be. What was the last thing you started over on? Job searching, I guess. What was the last task that you completed? Does eating breakfast count? Esp. when you really didn't want it but needed it? Have you ever failed at something extremely important to you? If yes, what? Ah, what a timely question. I dropped out of school for the third fucking time a few days back. When was the last time that you wanted time to move faster? Last night in my regular routine of waking up in the middle of the night twice/thrice. I sleep so poorly that I just want the morning to come at some point so it's "normal" for me to be up. ^Slower? Hm. I dunno. I don't have much reason to want time to slow lately. When was the last time you felt impatient with someone? Currently w/ Mom, but it's at a low level and probably isn't fair feeling impatient in the first place. Who was the last person that you called a “bitch”? I don't know. Probably playfully, anyway. ^Who, if anyone, was the last person to address you by that term? I also don't know. When was the last time you questioned whether or not you were making the right decision? Every time I make one lmao. Has a boy-/girlfriend ever suggested that you might want to lose some weight, or that it might make you look better? lol wow no. What is your idea of “too big” when it comes to weight? Once it comes to a point of infringing on your ability to function normally. ^How about “too thin”? Same as ^, really, it just goes in the opposite direction. Have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend? Yeah, we lasted two weeks lmao. What is the most annoying thing your family members do on a daily basis, if anything? I only live with Mom, and she doesn't regularly do annoying stuff. With which family member do you get along with the least? The best? Least, my grandma. We've gotten kinda better though now that she's dying. Best, Mom. ^Why do you think that you don’t get along well with that family member? We have very, very averse beliefs and standards. Who is someone that you wish would be there for you more often? My sisters, honestly. Shit's going on with them, I always reach out to let them know I'm here. Something's wrong with me, I never hear a word. Have you ever felt like someone abandoned you? If yes, explain? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How often do you find that you are bored? Daily, nearly at all times. This is gonna sound pathetic, but I tend to be so bored so regularly that I experience passively suicidal thoughts now and again because I just feel being dead would almost be more exciting. That's something I'll never act on, but yeah. I have mega bad anhedonia. What activity has the best chance of holding your attention for a long period of time? Hm. Playing a game, maybe. Or if I'm watching a really good video on YT. Have you ever decided that you like/dislike someone based on their survey answers? Yup. What previews did you see at the last movie you saw in theaters? Hell if I remember. How many things are you a fan of on Facebook? Wow, a fucking lot. Back in the day I would "like" lots of those pages that just had funny/relatable names, and man does it pay off (usually) now. I Got The Memes. Do you have more friends on Myspace or Facebook? Probably Facebook? I don't really remember the friending process on MySpace besides the "top 8" thing that destroyed friendships, lmao. Have you ever been to a movie that sold out? Maybe? Idk. Have you ever been to a midnight movie? One. What’s your state’s weather usually like this time of year? Too fucking hot. Do you get those leg cramps in the middle of the night? No. What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep? *shrug* Is your cell phone a qwerty (full keyboard) or no? Yeah. What was the last website you logged onto (besides the one you’re on)? PetSmart to apply for a position as pet trainer. I hate chain pet stores, but whatever, I'm desperate. What’s your home page? Google. Do you have split ends? No. When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad? I prefer to have a mouse. If you’re learning a language, what year are you in? I'm not anymore. Do you think you’re done growing or will you grow a couple more inches? I'm sure I'm done. What’s your mom’s mom’s name? Cecelia. Have you ever encountered a creepy neighbor? OKAY at my old place where I used to ride my bike all the time, there was this old man way down the road that liked to talk to me but he creeped me out so much that I started turning back before I got in sight of his place. Do you like the foam soap or the liquidy soap? Foam. Do you tend to lean towards bright colors or more subtle colors? Bright. Do you use British spelling even though you’re not British? No; I even change it in surveys a lot, lol. When was the last time you attended a barbecue? I don't have a clue. I don't like them. Can you handle movies involving lots of bugs and insects? Yeah. Are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment? No. What is one similarity between your parents? Christ... they seem incomparable by this point. Do you keep scissors in your kitchen? If so, where? Yes, in the drawer beside the fridge. When was the last time you used a payphone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Have you met everyone who lives on your street? No. Do you have a boyfriend? No. When did you last write out your name? Recently for something at school. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yeah. What friend can you tell everything to? Sara. Would you be shocked if the last person you had feelings for texted you? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted? We're both cis females so physically can't. And neither of us want kids. Who knows your biggest secrets? Mom, Sara, Jason. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? Yeah. Who is someone that puts up with you no matter what? My mom. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago I sobbed for a good while. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Not really. Is there a girl you would do anything for? Anything? No. Is there a boy you would do anything for? No. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Ian, but I haven't read it yet. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever been to an auto show? Yooo I remember as a kid, my family went with our friends to a monster truck show, I think it was? I was so not digging it and wanted to go home the whole time. What was the last thing you cooked for dinner? I had one of those Banquet microwavable dinners last night. Spicy chicken and mac 'n cheese. It's fuckin GOOD and really filling. Do you live in the city/town you were born in? No. Have you slept for longer than usual today? No, I slept terrible. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Have you consumed alcohol today? If so, what? No. What’s your go-to website when you’re really bored? YouTube is my general go-to. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My sister. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? No. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? WHEEZE Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Yes. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yeah. Do you live with your parents? With my mom. Can you do a blackflip, or anything else of that sort? No. What moment in your life have you been most scared? The night of the breakup, particularly when Mom dragged me back inside and I just literally melted. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? No. Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take them. Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? Were you? Yes, but it was entirely illogical, so I obviously wasn't. Anxiety and being terrified of pregnancy is fun. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? I don't cook. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; yes. Have you ever ripped your pants in public? I don't think so? Do movies such as Saw and The Grudge scare you easily? No. How many best friends do you have? What are their names? One; Sara. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been dared to do? Did you do it? No clue. Can you drive? I mean I can, but I'm terrified of it, and my permit is expired anyway. What do you consider to be a good grade? What do you consider to be a bad grade? B; C and below. Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? No. Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yes, I adored them both. Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Multiple people. Who was the last person you slow danced with? laskdjflka;jwe What’s your favourite song at the moment? Ah shit man idk. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones aggravate my ears. Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? We don't even have one here. How do you get to school? N/A What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? The first Wings of Fire book, and yes, very much. Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? Scream, no. I'll say them sometimes, though. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? Mom, Sara. Jason, probably, as much as I hate to admit that. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? HYPOTHETICALLY, if I even wanted kids, yes. I'm very empathetic and care a shitload about mental health, so I think I'd be a very good cheerleader for them. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? Again hypothetically, a meerkat, but I DO NOT support them as pets and get very upset when I see them as such. What bill do you hate paying the most? I don't have any. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, who and where would it be? Sara to the mountains of NC. Favorite non-sexual thing to do with girl/boy? Play games together. Who from high school would you like to run in to? A handful of people.

[wondercookieunicorn]

1/? ASDHSASDFHV tumblr really has something against us talking huh? :( but yeeeessss i agree nct is a treasure and i am damn happy i found out about them (albeit late i could have stanned since predebut i am salty towards me) yay!!! another Soft stan and person!! Giving love is important to me as well! And your bff crush on johnny is relatable! Im not crushing on him romantically (im aro) but I have this major crush on him that's somewhere between platonic and romantic so i feel ya!! - 🌱💚

2/? and i cant stop thinking of how amazing his hugs would be bc he’s so tall and big and im around ten’s size? so there’s this huge height difference and i should really stop rambling about this bc now i want johnny’s snuggles but i cant and it makes me :( BUT ANYWAY im glad you slept well thou sucks from the rude awakening. I tend to get cranky when im woken up by loud noises, do you have that too? But yay for making money!!!! I hope you’ll like your job!! And good luck with calling… - 🌱💚  

3/? your dad and I hope you get to go to your friend (and freakin yikes if she ditches you for het boyfriend you dont deserve such treatment :

           4/4 and to answer your final question! my fave nct songs in no particular order: highway to heaven, end to start, boss, baby dont stop, my first and last, 1 2 3, sun&moon, knock on, dream in a dream, new heroes, dont need your love, we go up, take off, come back, fly away with me, dear dream, regular to irregular, candle light, simon says, whiplash, the 7th sense, replay (pm 01:27) (i think saying “their whole discography” would have been easier…. oh well) what are your fave songs? - 🌱💚                                                                                        

 I GOZ ALL UR ASKS OMG I`M QUAKING THIS IS SO GOOD!!!

So first of all, my friend ditched me. That´s why I´m here man! I make too many jokes on jeffreys costs, I should stop. Poor man gotta suffer so much

Anyway, the call went great tho, so that´s a plus. Also thank you :))! ❤️ 

Ok but I lOve “The Arcana”???? I mean truth be told, haven´t played it in a loong time and I saw that the three new routes are available and- omg death is crawling to me, I can feel it. I only check in for those daily things tho because I currently am not in the mood for reading idk. Who´s your fav? :S

also yehs yehs, I´m pretty much Ten´s height I think? like 1,70. And I geddit, I geddit! Cuddling him must be a friggin heavenly privilige dkskdksk my wildest dreams are about hugging Johnny ngl.

And that is very interisting!! I think I´m Asexual, but ppl always tell me that that´s just cuz I´m still a virgin so I- I dunno man, some people just really can´t overstep their own believes/Beliefs (dunno how to spell sksks)

I get VERY crancky too, if someone wakes me up and/or dares to actually talk to me in the first 45 minutes after waking up! I could take a pan right then and there and just- no no no, I´m a very soft person! Just not right after waking up

AND AHHH BRACES REMOVAL, YOU´LL MISS IT BUT ALSO VERY MUCH NOT!! I´M TELLING YA, I STILL REMEMBER WHEN I GOT MINE REMOVED AND IT´S A FUNNY FEELING IN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES. But yeh, good luck on that! :)

You- Yeah- “Their whole discography” would´ve worked too lmao, tho I understand where you´re coming from!

Welp, Boss is my all to go bop as well as Simon says! New Heroes saved my entire life! Else I really like Baby don´t stop, 1,2,3, Dream in a dream, Dont need your love, come back, take off, regular and whiplash too.  

now ones that you didnt mention: I rlly like Blow my mind, Baby dont like it, la la love, go, Timeless, we go up, Paper Plane, let me love you, Mad city and yeah let´s stop here lmao.

You have a good taste in music, do you come here often? ;)) Someone stop me, I´m getting too comfortable 

Wakey Wakey will always hold a special place in my heart since it always manages to crack me up (I hope you know what I´m reffering to lmao pls)

And i  getchu, I got into dream right in chewing gum?? For some, to me unknown, reason and then after ´my first and last´ I completely rolled out of kpop, then got back in the “full nctzen” settled in like….5 Months ago? idk. But imma stay and that matters….Right??? :”) hbu?

ALso please, if you want to go to sleep do that!! Dont stay up too late :) ❤️

also what movies did you two watch, that sounds hella cute!?

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[altruistic-meme]

alright my dudes, this post is going to go deep. in it, I'm going to talk about some rather triggering content. under the cut I'm going to tell you about my personal experiences with the mental illnesses I have and just basically try and give you an understanding as to why I sometimes act the way I do. so if you care to read, and reading won't in any way negatively affect you, then click that read more. if not, feel free to scroll on, no hard feelings. sometimes you aren't feeling up to reading dark shit and I can respect that, I get that way too. now, with minimal further preamble, the undercut and what lies beneath...

(potentially triggering content includes: discussion of depression and anxiety and  mentions of self-harm and suicide.)

well hello there, and welcome to the undercut. I'm about to take you on a journey through the messed up part of my mind. I'm gonna try and keep this short and to the point mostly.

A QUICK THING; it's probably going to be very incoherent, and if you are confused about something or would like more information about something, do feel free to visit my inbox or messages and ask! a lot of people are very uncomfortable talking about this stuff and lbr, I kinda am too, but I'm making an effort to speak up more about it, and to reach out a hand to those who need it, as I never really had one put forth for me. so do not be shy to ask about anything, that's what this post is about, hm?

let's just jump right into this, shall we?

HERE WE GO; I HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER AND MILD-SEVERE DEPRESSION.

neither of which are fun, lemme tell ya. (and I am totally in awe of people who have either or BOTH and are out there, working and being an adult in general like damn. u strong. go u.)

a disclaimer before I continue: this post is about MY PERSONAL experiences with these illnesses. this is NOT a post about the general symptoms of these illnesses. if you relate to anything I say in this post, I'm v v sorry that you are going through this, bc it's hell, not gonna lie. anywho, I had better see 0 bullshit about "oh, you don't have x bc you don't do/feel blah blah blah" not everyone goes through the same stuff, dipshit.

moving on.

symptoms yayyyy;

Anxiety: -I am extremely socially anxious. -this means going up to the counter to ask for a take-out container for leftover food at a restaurant? u m no. -talking to strangers? no. -it is also really hard for me to talk to little kids or older folks. -and then there is also; feeling anxious (wow) -having 209745 worst-case scenario's go through my head. -trying to sleep and instead having my brain interrupt and tell me "hey ya know what's cool? thinking about how you could mess up x" -actually that happens a lot. -a general thought process for me; "am i good enough? do I look okay? do I act like an idiot? am I charming or stupid? am I cool or a know-it-all? I talk about myself too much. what else can I talk about? them, talk about them. but that doesn't work either. I don't know what to say." -not fun. -and that is just what came immediately to mind. there are lots and lots of different variations. -don't even get me started on how doing my school makes me feel. -and a metric fuckton of second-guessing. -no panic attacks yet but I have felt like I was close to having one often.

Depression: -just. suicidal thoughts. let that sink in a minute. -also thoughts of self-harm. -like there are days where looking at a knife will make me want to cut and I have to hold knives on a daily basis pretty much so not fun. -can we see that self-deprecation?? yeah we can. -constantly wondering if my family loves me. -don't even get me started on my friends. -hiding in my room bc it's literally the only place where I feel kinda safe from myself -except for when I remember that I have scissors in here. -enjoying things I used to love whom?? -times where I have to take a minute to psych myself up for little tasks like carrying my dishes to the sink. -i n s o m n i a. all over. -some days I lose all will to eat, or just my appetite as a whole. -motivation?? don't know her. lack of motivation is the only one here.

ah, yeah, let's stop there for now.

another interrupty thingy!!: bc I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume at least some of my friends will read this, there are two things to assure you of; YES I know you love me but depressions goggles make it hard to remember that sometimes. and PLEASE don't freak out over the first 3 items on the depression symptom list I'm fine. I will explain in just a sec.

okie? okie.

so now ya know! not fun! kinda terrifying actually!

"oh, well, Ac, why don't you just try sleeping more? or going outside more? or drinking water? or eating regularly? doing yoga?"

all very good suggestions. yes, they CAN help improve mood, but at the point I am at, they aren't going to help much.

and for the sleep part, lemme tell you, I KNOW FULL WELL that I should sleep more. but guess what? I can't. like, I can. not. sleep. I want to sleep. I enjoy sleeping, I enjoy being fully awake during the day and I enjoy not feeling and looking like a fucking zombie. but you know what? Anxiety and Depression by themselves usually make it harder for people to sleep. combined? I'm fucked. sometimes, yes, I get a regular amount of sleep. but also sometimes I don't. I'm not yet sure what it is that triggers me into either cycle, but they can last from two months to four days.

and OK. I get that you have your ways of making yourself sleep. but you don't understand. I have had to sit through the same speech from my mother about "just picture a blank wall" 6. TIMES. your methods are yours, and while I'm very glad they work for you, it is highly unlikely they will work for me.

okay now, if you got worried when you saw the first 3 symptoms under Depression: I really do appreciate your concern, and I am touched that you care. I'm not going to say it's ok bc of course it's not, it's very not ok, but it is something that I am and have been working on. the first time most of these thoughts hit and hit hard was November 2017, and immediately after I calmed down from them I decided that I had to talk to my mum about going to therapy.

this started a kinda long process including telling my gf, my friend, and my sister before telling my mum. and then of course when I did tell her in December we weren't able to actually try and setup an appointment until January due to being out of insurance. and ofc after that we find out that the recommendation I had gotten the previous year for anxiety was expired and this resulted in me having to go back to the doctor, then to the ER bc that was the only way to get their on-hand therapist to come that day, and then I had to spend 2 hours there bc they were v v concerned and I was almost admitted for a few days bc of my thoughts.

and yeah, it was a mess.

but I do now have a therapist who I've been seeing for a few weeks, and we have a safety plan in place, and he was v v impressed with my knowledge on coping mechanisms and just my symptoms as a general.

random story: when I was maybe 14 I had already self-diagnosed that I had some sort of Anxiety disorder, and I mentioned it out loud in front of my two sisters and one, who had had panic attacks that had sent her to the ER before, was like ah, yeah. and the other one, who as far as I know STILL doesn't have an anxiety disorder let alone had one back then, said basically "no you don't. god. like, I believe that you have anxiety bc everyone does but you don't have REALY anxiety" which is, ya know, why she didn't know why I was going to therapy until my mum told her several weeks in (and even then idk if she evens knows the full reason, but she hasn't asked me so fuck that)

anyway, i'mma try and wrap this up now!

tl;dr, basically; I have Anxiety and Depression. I have had suicidal thoughts (in the past and recently) but I am working to get rid of them, and until such a time occurs, I do have a plan for if they show up that will result in me being protected and safe. I have coping mechanisms and I use them whenever I feel like I need to, and sometimes when I don't simply bc I enjoy them. I'm currently in once a week therapy with someone who let's me talk and laughs with me when I crack a joke and listens to my stances on issues. I know that you have your methods for things, and I'm very glad they work for you, but do NOT try and force them on me.

I hope you now understand a little bit more about me and why I sometimes react to things the way I do.

have a great day, month, year, life.

~Ac

[transfagged]

all 92 😘

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no way man she’d probably dom the fuck out of me

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?n o p e

4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?like in terms of romantic??? no. like in terms of “we have a really weird relationship and idfk how i feel @ you”? yeah.

6. What are you excited for?april 19th!!! my friend and i are going to go see phoebe bridgers in madison!!!!

7. What happened tonight?its 10am so ill roll with last night: i played nv and got killed in a beautiful cacophony of deathclaws and the legion :) and then my game crashed.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no bc id be right there with them

9. Is confidence cute?very

10. What is the last beverage you had?i think some water? okay not the last but: hot water is so good with wildflower honey pls just drink some its good for your soul okay???

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?opposite is bullshit but i guess like,, 3? half my friends are nonbinary so counting EVERYONE regardless of gender and shit id say 6 people

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?im a proud supporter of boys in skinny jeans and i own 2 or 3 pairs

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?my main ho @thebonerfoy is coming up to visit me and were probably gonna pack all my shit in her car and play cards against humanity

14. What are you going to spend money on next? lmao probably my student loans. unless i can get the hours i asked for at work or a sugar daddy, then im gonna buy a proper lid for my fishtank bc my poor kid has a piece of cardboard rn.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?yeah. even in a state of stagnation were changing somehow.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?probably amanda, but im working on trying to be better with everyone

18. The last time you felt broken?my dude, im broken right now. its okay though. like i said, im working on it. were all fckn broken somehow.

19. Have you had sex today?not unless a ghost and i got in on in my sleep. which would be pretty cool ngl

20. Are you starting to realize anything?on a deep level: i deserve respect and a lot of my issues relate directly to my upbringing, including my inability to receive praise or speak well of myselfon a not-deep level: kinda hungry.

21. Are you in a good mood?i think i just heard fedex or ups outside so my mood just skyrocketed

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe like. nurse sharks. theyre really cute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah

24. What do you want right this second?to take a day to go into the city with all my friends that i cant see on a regular basis

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?probably be upset unless we discussed it beforehand. then id be fckn cheering for them like you go get some!!!! do it man!!!! in general tho: if i wasnt with them and they didnt show interest in me and showed interest in someone else id just move tf on.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?half of it is bc my roots are growing out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. too boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?okay so i went to renew my library books and one of my favorite youtubers is on the library website dressed as one of his characters and i completely flipped because i watch his gaming channel and now hes interviewing authors for my library??? he doesnt even live in my town!! hes in madison!!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?no? im enjoying my solitude atm

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on the person

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no! hes my friend and gives really good advice!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?i think so. i mean, were kind of a thing.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?yeah.

34. Listening to?killer - phoebe bridgers

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?only if im doing a rough journal spread, which i dont normally do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?hes probably in class right now. 

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?love at first sight? no. some sort of mutual infatuation/attraction? yes.

38. Who did you last call?my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?dancing with as in both dancing at the same time? probably amanda or my mom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?we were dating and he was cute lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a couple months ago? 

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no bc she leaves for work before i wake up

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?constantly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?lmao no.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no. as previously stated, i liked the guy and he was cute. why would i take that back?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?yEAH

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes i love my bow :’) its so good and wow i love archery

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?picture day junior year of highschool, and if that doesnt count: my mother took me in at jcp to have pictures taken when i graduated 8th grade and theyre awful bc my hair is so long and its so not me

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?excuse me, how dare you,, in this house we ask for war and peace for christmas because npgc1812 is so good and then get addicted to ghost quartet (@ anyone reading this: pls listen to ghost quartet it is so so so good)

53. Is Christmas stressful?depends on the year, but i hope in the future i can spend it with my friends :)

54. Ever eat a pierogi?i just had some last night for dinner and im probably going to eat the leftovers in a couple minutes. also, my mother is polish and we see her family for holidays, so yeah. lots of pierogi in this house.

update: i got the leftovers

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?idk??? apple? im basic okay i dont eat pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?1. teacher2. ballerina3. both 1 & 2, simultaneously4. paleontologist5. archaeologist6. both 4 & 5, simultaneously7. librarian8. game designer9. author/illustrator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?almost daily

59. Take a vitamin daily?im supposed to ;) vitamin d deficiency like a real champ

60. Wear slippers?real talk i never liked slippers but then i bought these cute pig slippers @ walmart for $10 and i love them so much i tried wearing them to sleep last night. also im wearing them rn theyre so cute

61. Wear a bath robe?i live in a dorm, so yeah. to the bathroom and back when i take a shower. sometimes im lazy and i just run around in a towel but so do half the people on my side of the hall lmao were all lazy and dead inside

62. What do you wear to bed?fluffy pajama pants or sweats, tshirt or hoodie, socks, sometimes slippers.. once i fell asleep with a beanie on. when im being an Adult i wear my actual pajamas!!! like a legit shirt and pants that match

63. First concert?none that i was old enough to remember :’) apparently my mom took me to the rodeo when we lived in texas and saw some country group but i was like 2 so idfk

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?TARGET I AM A CERTIFIED TARGET GAY

65. Nike or Adidas?adidas bc my feet are too wide to fit in nikes

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?yall real talk i used to love cheetos but i think im allergic to them now? last time i had them my throat got all swollen and hurt for like 3 days so im gonna have to say fritos. plus theyre really good if you put them in chili

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds bc im a slut for anything i can have a spitting contest with

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?lmao i used to like her when i was like. 11. not my scene anymore

69. Ever take dance lessons?i dont think so?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?anything that makes them happy, but also something fun!!!! like wedding photographer or a baker or maybe zookeeper?

71. Can you curl your tongue?idk??? kinda????? i can tie a cherry stem so i want to say yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?no i always got out bc my anxiety made me stutter/rush and miss letters, so i never even got past the classroom levels to the real thing

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?a lot!!! i laugh so hard i cry and get a stomach ache more than id like to admit

74. What is your favorite book?eleanor & park by rainbow rowell :) OR alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis caroll

75. Do you study better with or without music?depends on if i can get into hyperfocus mode or not. if not, then i pick one song and put it on loop and blast it until it fades and is just loud background noise, but if i can focus then silence is best

76. Regularly burn incense?i used to but no burning anything in the dorms :( then i came home for break and it started giving me a headache

77. Ever been in love?i think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?kesha, against me!, my chemical romance (rip), bigbang (also rip)

79. What was the last concert you saw?the one i mentioned earlier @ a rodeo

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?i live on coffee but i love tea too so both

82. Favorite type of cookie?mmm snickerdoodle. or just sugar cookies. chocolate chip is good when theyre hot and melty but not as good when theyre cold

83. Can you swim well?yeah! i love swimming!

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yeah?

85. Are you patient?hahahahahahhahahahhahahhaa

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?oo. oooooo. okay so dj would have more variety of music but im a sucker for live music??? idk i feel like a band would be more memorable, but what if they fuck up your favorite song??? but what if they make it more special???????

87. Ever won a contest?yeah! i won an art contest once and got my drawing printed on christmas cards for a nonprofit that did things for cancer patients!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?im 17 i dont have that kind of money

89. Which are better black or green olives?depends on what theyre in?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?good. live your life fuck the rules

91. Best room for a fireplace?bedroom!!! i love fireplaces in bedrooms its such a Look

92. Do you want to get married?idk. if it happens then it happens. im not planning on it though.

[mag200]

here u go

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

uh i tend to either doubt the existence of everyone including myself, or doubt my own existence but not everyone else’s

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like 1 or 2 i live for the night bicth

3. The person you would never want to meet?

this is hard because even people i truly hate i would want to meet so i can fight them. so maybe jrr tolkien bc my expectations are probably too high and meeting him would be like “oh right ur a just a real and regular person that existed righto”

4. What is your favorite word?

probably “fuck” lets be real it’s just so flexible

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i have been asking myself this question my entire life and i cannot yet answer with certainty but i rlly relate to swamp maples

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“damn im good at cutting my hair” (i chopped my bangs last night)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

a feminist tee shirt my cousin’s girlfriend made

8. What do you label yourself as?

a goth bitch. a gay motherfucker. a sleepy boi.

9. Bright room or dark room?

uhh i like a lot of natural light, i don’t have blinds on my windows so it can get bright but the best is early morning or evening when its pretty dark out and i have my string lights turned on. so i guess low-to-neutral lighting.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

sleeping lol.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

18 was reeeaal good but i’m gonna be 21 next and i am looking forward to that i think it will be a fun time

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my dad or my stepmom like yesterday probably

13. Your worst enemy?

not to be an edgelord but. my own brain probably.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

usually a pretty nature picture bc im a basic bitch, rn its this

15. Do you like someone?

um i like taylor swift

16. The last song you listened to?

the 10 hour version of “weightless” by marconi union (its my background music for nanowrimo)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

hahah um idk if i can say this without the fbi showing up

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

no one in particular in this exact moment but. if a nazi shows up.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

im uh not comfortable with this concept

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

idk maybe my eyes i like my face a lot but i also like my arms a lot but also my hairy legs? beautiful.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

first of all it would be pretty lit bc i’m genderfluid and i’d have a great time looking physically masc. so ideally i’d have long hair and a beard and i would just go for a hike and write and be beautiful.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

i dont have anything thats a secret to everyone but like most people dont know that i used to snowboard all the time and was real fuckin good at it

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

that theres a monster in the toilet thats going to reach up and grab me while im peeing

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

alfalfa sprouts, sharp cheddar cheese, hummus, cucumbers, spicy mustard, turkey, and figs on rye bread

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

tattoo definitely

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

ICELAND

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

i literally have no idea what i like so. i would pass the offer on to my dad he is much wiser in the lore of alcoholic beverages than i am.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

no TERFs.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

mother of fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

uh my journals

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

jesus christ. um. no im not getting into this shit here tbh i didnt read all these questions before reblogging this thing sorry.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

iceland here i come.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

of course Death is a cool entity you dont have to tell me that. anyway i have not yet lost someone in my family to death that i was super close to so. i’d bring back carrie fisher.

34. What was your last dream about?

i was in a deep crater trying to climb out to look beyond the rocks... i knew the ocean was supposed to be there and i was supposed to be able to see japan from there if i could climb up?? but when i got to the top and looked out, the ocean was gone and a barren landscape lay before me, images sliding into place like a powerpoint presentation superimposed on the sky of the apocalypse that had struck during my exile, the art and culture that was lost, the demise of the world. i climbed back down to chill in the bottom of my crater.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

yes i am a good.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yeah only three times i think but all within the same year.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

hell yeah

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any right now but the last pair i was wearing are orange, brown, and tan

39. What type of music do you like?

uhh lots of kinds but my top 3 are taylor swift, my chemical romance, and hayley kiyoko

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises but if i lived on the west coast and could watch the sunset on the water i might prefer that

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

i dont care about sports teams buddy

43. Do you have any scars?

yeah i have a bunch from just playing and doing weird shit in the woods and a lot from picking at bug bites for too long, but i also have a couple self-harm scars from a while back

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

idk exactly but im going back to school soon for environmental science and i’d love to do anything that lets me be outside and work with plants or animals

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i’d either be born DMAB or have a brain that isn’t so goddamn forgetful

46. Are you reliable?

u mm idk i try to be but i am not for everyone

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

what do u regret not doing

48. Do you hold grudges?

i do but very selectively, only for like one or two people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

um idk maybe i could combine goats and turkey vultures into some kind of goat/dragon/bird of prey. think of the mayhem.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i genuinely cannot remember sorry. but it was probably in an online forum in 2007 during the height of random humor.

51. Are you a good liar?

uhhh doubtful but i used to think i was good lol

52. How long could you go without talking?

i’ve gone a couple days without talking before and im sure i could go much longer, maybe months or years even altho it would not be healthy for me.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

junior year when i thought i knew how to cut my own hair (but i really didn’t) and i wanted to look like a knockoff brand Skins character (and i really did). that wasn’t rlly good but it was fun and i dont regret it.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

nah im not really a cake person

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i can sometimes do a british accent which i’ve been told is convincing to american ears but is probably very overdone. i can’t speak other accents but my brain gets stuck thinking in scottish or like a cowboy accent from old westerns a lot of the time.

56. What do you like on your toast?

lots of stuff depending on my mood but my fav is a runny egg where the bread can soak up all the yolk.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

eleven from stranger things

58. What would be you dream car?

i rlly rlly miss my old car that had to be junked almost a year ago. i don’t remember what kind it actually was but it was from the 80s and was a faded baby blue and small and boxy and the seats still smelled like cigars. any car from that time period but with a modern stereo + aux cord is the dream. or a big lesbian pickup truck like what bella has in twilight but with decent gas mileage. the dream.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

yes but only if im home alone. what i do most in the shower is have imaginary conversations or pretend that i’ve been trekking through middle earth for four months without bathing and this is the first opportunity i’ve had to clean myself and i enjoy the shit out of it. or i pretend i’m a dragon.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah dude definitely

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

no ive done that like maybe twice ever

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

R its just so good

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons but i fuckgin love dinosaurs dude

64. What do you think about babies?

i’m a little awkward/insecure around them but i feel deeply protective when i hold one and in general i think theyre pretty awesome

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

hah motherfucker u forgot to ask me one

[girlsnsleep]

For the anon who wanted everything started with 7...

7: My best friend: Daimbarage, Wsup 8: Sexual orientation: Gayy af 9: My best first date: Regular diner and afterwards we went to the movies 10: How tall am I: 165cm 11: What do I miss: You don’t wanna know lol 12: What time were I born: Idk actually, somewhere in the evening probably 13: Favourite color: black, grey, red, white 14: Do I have a crush: uhu (lern jergi watch out) 15: Favourite quote: grab that booty when she moody 16: Favourite place: my bed 17: Favourite food: PIZZA and chicken nuggets 18: Do I use sarcasm: yeah who doesn’t these days 19: What am I listening to right now: Sauced-up by Fifth Harmony 20: First thing I notice in new person: Their caracter and how they act when im around 21: Shoe size: 40EU 22: Eye color: Brownnn 23: Hair color: Also brownn 24: Favourite style of clothing: i like to wear black, wish i’ve had the money to buy the stuff i really wanna wear 25: Ever done a prank call?: hell yeah

27: Meaning behind my URL: i like girls and sleeping 28: Favourite movie:idk got so many, i saw The Martian and i cried and had to laugh (really watch it) 29: Favourite song: don’t askme that :(( 30: Favourite band: Pvris, Tøp, 5H 31: How I feel right now: terrible

32: Someone I love: my gf 33: My current relationship status: so taken 34: My relationship with my parents: good lately 35: Favourite holiday: all 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: none :(( 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: tattoos so many omg 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: cz i was in my phase from bi to gay and here you can do whatever you wanna do 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: nope 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: nah 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? nope 42: When did I last hold hands? a while ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on my mood 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? nope haha 45: Where am I right now? in my bed 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably one of my friends but never had that situation so im good with alcohol 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? depends on the song 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? mom and stepdad 49: Am I excited for anything? uhuu 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? nope 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? often lately 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? few days ago, need a hug rn 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? oh hell no, you don’t wanna see that honey 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope 55: What is something I disliked about today? myself

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? FIFTH FUCKING HARMONYYYYYYY 57: What do I think about most? a lot of things i dont wanna think about 58: What’s my strangest talent? crying when i dont have a reason to cry 59: Do I have any strange phobias? not really 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind bc imma photographerrrr 61: What was the last lie I told? that the restaurant i didn’t wanted to go to was closed while they werent lol 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? nope and nope

64: Do I believe in magic?nope 65: Do I believe in luck? maybe 66: What’s the weather like right now? clear but a bit cold 67: What was the last book I’ve read? *camren fanfic oops 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? hell yes 69: Do I have any nicknames? Ang 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? My hip was discolated 71: Do I spend money or save it? depends lol 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? nope haha 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? no 74: Favourite animal? cats dogs 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? tumblr 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nugget 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? idk 78: How can you win my heart? not unless you buy me food 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? ‘go to hell bitches’ 80: What is my favorite word? nugget 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: well actually everyone who reblogs stuff from my blog so YEAH YOU WHO READS THIS luv for u all 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? lauren jauregui marry me 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? nope 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? to be invisible and beat the motherfuckers 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ugh idk 86: What is my current desktop picture? something with a car 87: Had sex? yeah 88: Bought condoms? no hahah 89: Gotten pregnant? hell no 90: Failed a class? yupp 91: Kissed a boy? no 92: Kissed a girl? uhuuuuuuuuuu 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yep 94: Had job? yep 95: Left the house without my wallet? once, never do this 96: Bullied someone on the internet? nope 97: Had sex in public? no?? 98: Played on a sports team? yes :((( 99: Smoked weed? everyday 100: Did drugs? yes 101: Smoked cigarettes?yuppp 102: Drank alcohol? only at parties 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nooooo 104: Been overweight? no?? why is this even a question 105: Been underweight? *see 104 106: Been to a wedding? yesss 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yeah Friends 109: Been outside my home country? many times 110: Gotten my heart broken? oh yeshhh 111: Been to a professional sports game? a few yess

112: Broken a bone? nope 113: Cut myself? uhu 114: Been to prom? in June :)) 115: Been in airplane? yes i luvvvv it 116: Fly by helicopter? no :((( 117: What concerts have I been to? Tøp, 5H, some belgian artists, Drake etc 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Oh hell yeah 119: Learned another language? yeah who doesn’t? 120: Wore make up? actually no 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? noooo 122: Had oral sex? pussy 123: Dyed my hair? yeaaass 124: Voted in a presidential election? nope 125: Rode in an ambulance? yes haha lol 126: Had a surgery? yup my upper leggg and head 127: Met someone famous? no :(((((( 128: Stalked someone on a social network? not really 129: Peed outside? yeah when we went on a survival trip and when we slept in school (outside yk) 130: Been fishing? i live next to water so yeah 131: Helped with charity? a fewtimes 132: Been rejected by a crush? uhuuuu 133: Broken a mirror? many times 134: What do I want for birthday? lauren jauregui 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? none bish 136: Was I named after anyone? no but after a song from the rolling stones 137: Do I like my handwriting? nope not really 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? i had a peter pan island lol 139: Favourite Tv Show? friends 140: Where do I want to live when older? far away from belgium 141: Play any musical instrument? not atm 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? surgery and stupid things 143: Favourite pizza toping? mozzarella 144: Am I afraid of the dark? no 145: Am I afraid of heights? hell yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? not that i know 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? many times lol 148: What I’m really bad at: being myself 149: What my greatest achievments are: going to college in a few days 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: not gonna tell here 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: buy clothes and shoes and food and go farrrr away 152: What do I like about myself: nothing 153: My closest Tumblr friend: @wsupfuckah 154: Something I fantasise about: food 155: Any question you’d like?nope

Have fun.

[17mounteens]

21&34 Also maknae line + ksy for fav hairstyle and color(:

thank you for sending these 💕 we’ve done soonyoung for the member asks here {link}

21. Favorite song cover? 

Scooter » oh gosh hmm I have a very special place for vocal unit’s version of After School’s Because of you so probably that! (but also friday night!)

Memesol » me: tries not to say their cover of suju’s u but caNNot not say it, so, yeah…u…

34. Favorite piece we’ve written? 

» Answered here ♥

Seungkwan

What we like about them in general:Scooter » he is a sunshine I love everything about him he deserves the best I LOVE MY BOOMemesol » I like everything about him :( he’s like a vitamin hh just looking at him makes me smile :(

Our number 1 favorite thing about them:Scooter » (”my favorite part about seungkwan is…” /smacks his butt/) HOW SWEET AND CONSIDERATE HE IS he always makes everyone feel included and makes sure no one’s feelings are hurt :(Memesol » he cares a lot about everyone, like the members and the carats - he has a big heart is what I’m trying to say I guess

What we first thought/noticed about them:Scooter » I’m not sure but!! one of the first things was how funny he was :( he really lightens up the moodMemesol » I thought he was very loud… like I didn’t like him that much at first but NOW MY TASTEBUDS HAVE REFINED

Do we bias them:Scooter » …I ult him he is my most precious sunshine I have so much love for him SO YES I BIAS HIMMemesol »  no …  but Scooter loves him enough for me too ;)

Our favorite outfit they’ve worn:Scooter » THIS BEAUTY honestly I had just said how I wished he’d sometime wear ripped jeans LIKE THAT and like a day or two later that happened…. BUT ALSO THIS and all the outfits where he’s worn the “beautiful enough” shirt ;u; (+ this I’m sorry I love everything)Memesol » did you know I love it when he wears pink…well, now you do because this is my fave outfit

Our favorite hair style/colour on them:Scooter  » DARK HAIR styled however honestly but I do love me a dark color on him, but he also looks so good with the current hair ;u; Memesol » the pink he has now, styled exactly like that I LOVE IT

Our  favorite ‘moment’ from them:Scooter » this is kind of like many moments but like he does this THING where he shakes his head in an attempt to fix his fringe and it’s the cutEST THING like he kinda looks at his fringe while he does it and might try to fix it with his fingers afterwardsMemesol » tHE PART FROM 8:36 ONWARDS IM HOWLING (when he sings when they open the door hh at 10:09)

What we think people should appreciate about them more:Scooter » his visuals his kindness his everything LOVE BOO SEUNGKWAN !!!!Memesol » visuals too!!!!

Our favorite piece we’ve written about them:Scooter » um literally all 3 smuts I’ve gotten to write + late night cuddling + morning fluffMemesol » this sorta fluffy au by Scooter :( mY HEART IS IN PAIN BECAUSE OF THIS

A headcanon:Scooter » He needs to hear and see that you love him on a regular basis, and similarly shows his feelings towards you as much as he possibly can.Memesol » Would confess his love for you with small gestures, like humming a love song to you while you’re sleeping.

Vernon

What we like about them in general:Memesol » This is such a difficult question, as someone who’s bad with words but he is just a good person in general - he’s pure and supportive and handsome head to toe :( He’s highkey an inspirationScooter » he’s really adorable and funny, like when he’s kinda in his own world and all :( ♥

Our number 1 favorite thing about them:Memesol » hiS GUMMY SMILEScooter » his love for boo’s ass bc i relate I’M KIDDING but like he’s really down to earth and I really like that about him

What we first thought/noticed about them:Memesol » /soft voice/ he was really cute oh my god like hE WAS JUST SHININGScooter » he really stood out from the rest + “oh this is who memesol likes i see ;)”

Do we bias them:Memesol » oh do I  Scooter » no but :( through Memesol kind of !! you know

Our favorite outfit they’ve worn:Memesol » any and all where he’s worn red but aLSO THIS Scooter » hmm could be this one 🤔 but also

Our favorite hair style/colour on them:Memesol » the Ceci photoshoot hair, you know, dark and wavy-ish… hhh A ManScooter » the hair he had during the Pretty U era was really cute ;u;

Our  favorite ‘moment’ from them:Memesol » “just lerfect, perfecti i mean” nOT JUST HIS TYPOS but just everytime he gets embarrased…idk that’s not really a specific moment but how am I supposed to choose :(Scooter » “how does chicken heal your heart” and bUBBLE VERNON

What we think people should appreciate about them more:Memesol » fIRST OF ALL his singing voice  and his kindness :( i feel like a lot of people just…stan him because he’s half white…ngl…Scooter » probably singing too! like honestly most of the time he sings “badly” it’s on purpose :( he’s got such a nice voice alright

Our favorite piece we’ve written about them:Memesol » thiS making out scenario but then the shower sex scenario I wrote too…Scooter » THE BIRTHDAY SCENARIO IS SO CUTE + this smut 👀 (ALSO FLUFF)

A headcanon: Memesol » Hansol bringing you flowers randomly, although he thinks it’s the cheesiest thing one can do in a relationship.Scooter » He sings a lot in the shower, so it’s pretty often that you have a lot of fun listening to him while he belts out whatever song he’s feeling at the moment.

Dino

What we like about them in general:Memesol » his bright personality but also how he works hard and haS SO MUCH ENERGY AND IDEASScooter » his personality and positivity! 💕

Our number 1 favorite thing about them:

Memesol » his lauGH Scooter » I’ll have to go with his laugh too it’s so contagious and PURE

What we first thought/noticed about them:Memesol » “who is this smol” LITERALLYScooter » …the hair, it was the mansae mv okay

Do we bias them:Memesol » yus…very much soScooter » no :(

Our favorite outfit they’ve worn:Memesol » hHH this oneScooter » THIS ONE

Our favorite hair style/colour on them:Memesol » brown and parted :( the one like on the outfit piC A+Scooter » I’m so basic honestly but sdjnskf dark and slightly styled 

Our  favorite ‘moment’ from them:Memesol » thIS WHOLE INTERVIEW HE’S FUNNYScooter » “Jeonghan hyung’s baby”

What we think people should appreciate about them more:Memesol » rapping skills like although he isn’t in the hiphop unit…boy can rapScooter » maybe how much he contributes to seventeen as a member of the performance unit? and also rapping skills!

Our favorite piece we’ve written about them:Memesol » hHH Scooter said the first kiss one and I’ll say the same I loved writing it :( but then also this accidental hickey onEScooter » the fluff where Jeonghan finds you cuddling BUT ALSO THE FIRST KISS ONE

A headcanon: Memesol » Would beg you to shower with him so often because that’s when he gets lonely.Scooter » Before he can go on stage, he needs to hear your opinion on his performance. 

» ✨ 5k ask game ✨ 

[brosura]

tagged by @yohazuras & @jellyfishline & finally got around to this! thanks for the tags pals! i am a little buzzed rn so get ready!!!

rules: tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better.

nickname: kat, katty, katty mckool kat, cheese machine

zodiac sign: SSSSCORPIO

height: 5′4″

last thing you googled: 173 cm in feet & inches (it occurred to me after checking my height that i could compare my height to the shortest chocobro and to my disappointment i am shorter than all of them. unfortunate.)

favorite musical artists: tbh a lot? varies by mood. consistently: florence + the machine, chance the rapper, matt & kim, bump of chicken. recently i’ve been in the mood for the chainsmokers a lot and started getting into mapei 

last movie you watched: Get Out (would recommend)

what are you wearing right now?: mint green boxers and a heather gray shark t-shirt (it’s pajama-jama time, pajammin’)

why did you choose your URL?: idk i wanted to make a bro pun but i also wanted to include garbage somehow bc it’s an old nickname from being a mess all my life??? got the best of both worlds here and even got to use spanish/tagalog (garbage = basura in both languages) lmao

do you have any other blogs?: a blog from HS i don’t use anymore

what did your last relationship teach you?: idk man i've been pretty consistently single?? i’ve seen people only kinda? idk i guess that dating isn’t like an upgrade on relationships and it won’t always work just bc ur friends beforehand and that’s ok, it’s just like hopping from one box into an adjacent but separate box but sometimes you just wanna go back to the box u were in before, and that’s cool, whatever box is chill for the both of u 

religious or spiritual?: i mean, i’m gonna say spiritual bc after growing up vaguely catholic for my entire life i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t think about the Big G sometimes and like there’s something to be said for the message of treating others w kindness and compassion, but like, fanon!big J is used to justify too much hateful BS for me to consider myself religious lmao

favorite color? GREEN

average hours of sleep?: 3-6 hrs. lmao i lie in bed a lot but it’s actually very hard for me to sleep??? 7 is my ideal to feel rested. 

lucky number: idk? i like the number 3 tho!!

favorite characters?: honestly this is hard? but i will say i have been worried about the health&happiness of nico di angelo (pjo/hoo) since i was a wee 12yo so he’s at the top of the list. also on the (non-comprehensive) list currently: hunk (voltron; MY BOY!!!!), prompto (ffxv; he’s doing his best), lucio (overwatch; trust him w/ my life), toph bei fong (atla; first role model), asami sato + korra (atlok; LOVE em); also even though bleach is dead to me, i’ll always have a spot in my heart for rukia kuchiki because she was probably baby bi kat’s first fictional crush on a girl

how many blankets do you sleep with?: 1, it’s getting hot my dudes i’ve had to stick the leggy out for thermoregulation

dream job: honestly i interpreted this like “fantasy job” when i read it and had the highly specific fantasy of bein a bartender in a chill speakeasy-style bar. the bar is mahogany and i’m always cleaning a crystal champagne flask for some reason. i’m wearing a snazzy waistcoat just for the #look. the clientele is older and less rowdy but not obnoxiously snobby and rich. my regulars know to call me barkeep. i have a favorite regular, she comes in every thursday. i don’t know her name, but she wears the same leather jacket every week and i know her preferred drink is a bourbon, neat. she’s working her way through our selection. 

i’d be cool as like, someone working at an aquarium tho. love the fishes

20 blogs is too many blogs!!! i’ll tag @pastelnoctis, @yuusukekitagawas & @freeyukimakoto since y’all seem to like these but if i am mistaken pls feel free to ignore

@queen-tabris if u got time for introducing me to the mcelboys. love em.

and if any of me followers have time and want to do this you’re absolutely welcome to @ me i’d love to get to know y’all !!!

[baekuras]

Been ages but I got tagged by @true-lab so imma do the meme thing~ and yes,all of those tags,all

Get to Know Your Follower Tag

Name: Dalia

Height: 170smth on good days!

Hogwarts House: my dude idk

Go to ssbb character: Never played so...idk

Fictional character I’d date: Aroace and like all my favs are ppl you wouldn’t wanna date soooooooooooo.....hm

Favorite band or artist: I listen to a lot of stuff so who knows

When did I make this blog: Like maybe 2 or 3 years ago? Idk

How many blogs do I follow: 506

Do I get asks on a regular basis: I wish I would tbh....so no I don’t

Aesthetic: Space and knifes or smth idk

Get to know me tag!

Name: Dalia

Nicknames: ...none rly except w/ one friend so...hm

Gender: Genderfluid(so honestly who knows it’s gonna change soon anyway lol)

Star sign: Gemini

Height: 170...cm btw

Sexual orientation: Aaaaaaaaace~

Hogwarts house: the one where you don’t have to talk to ppl and get a dragon and dont have to be smart to get good grades,is there one(I am trying to bring new answers in here ok)

Favorite color: Red nd Purple nd Black nd that one kind of blue I like

Favorite animal: DO NOT MAKE ME CHOOSE

Average hours of sleep: ....actually like 5 to 6 on school days and weekend...maybe 10? idk

Cat or dog person: All and many

Favorite fictional characters: ...I didn’t come here to write an essay

Number of blankets I sleep with: 1 and why is this an answer with how many blankets do some ppl sleep? 2 at most maybe but I wanna think that someone out there sleeps w/ 10 blankets

Favorite singer/band:  too many

Dream trip: honetsly, i have nothing rly in mind rn

Dream job: ...idk it all seems like a hassle and annoying, smth w/ animals maybe? or assasin

When was the blog created: 2 or 3 years ago

Current number of followers: 528 and NO porn bots!

What made you decide to make a tumblr: Deviantart got boring and I liked the variety of content here

5 things i like about myself -tag

1. My mood swings can be fun as hell(while also annoying bc sometimes I wanna have a huge ego for a long time OK)

2. My determination with....stuff like art

3. I still love myself even if all people directly around me seem to wanting to prove how awful and useless of a human being I am (except my friends ofc)

4. My god like looks(ah there is the ego I talked about)

5. Just myself in general like I am awesome and love myself °^°

[alrightpoppins]

all of them i dare u

umm… okay well here i go. i swear i’m not interesting enough for this.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

Spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

pretty clean. my side is at least.

3. what color are your eyes?

hazel

4. do you like your name? why?

sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. i like it bc it’s different but sometimes i don’t bc it doesn’t roll off the tongue very well. sounds awkward to me.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as a pringle. and by that i mean complicated bc i have lots of other pringles around me and one who keeps stringing me along lmao it’s fine.

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

altruistic, sarcastic, introverted

7. what color hair do you have?

brown. blue and green underneath… the green was an accident.

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

2003 mitsubishi eclipse. it’s silver. 

9. where do you shop?

uhhh walmart.. target or kohls if i’m feeling fancy?

10. how would you describe your style?

nonexistent. also gay.

11. favorite social media account

probably this one bc i’m pathetic.

12. what size bed do you have?

 twin

13. any siblings?

no but 3 little cousins who live with me so kind of.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

nyc bc i’m basic. or toronto. or maybe ireland.

15. favorite snapchat filter?

 idek i just play with them all.

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i.. makeup? elf is cheap so.. yeah?

17. how many times a week do you shower?

7

18. favorite tv show?

LOL

19. shoe size?

7

20. how tall are you?

…5′1 (155 cm i think?)

21. sandals or sneakers?

combat boots.

22. do you go to the gym?

no i want to though

23. describe your dream date

existent.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

umm like $100? plus my card.

25. what color socks are you wearing?

grey and they’re long and soft and i love them.

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

6 plus throws and stuffed animals.

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not really, i babysit sometimes.

28. how many friends do you have?

uhh a few. home friends, school friends, online friends. i have 3 best friends.

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

beat up my little cousin. i was like 14 and he was like 6 it was fucked up.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

the one that smells like fresh sheets.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Anthony, Wyatt, and Caleb

32. 3 favorite girl names

Elodie, Carter, and Georgie (Georgiana)

33. favorite actor?

… i literally don’t even know. i guess i could say The Rock bc he’s rad?

34. favorite actress?

Dianna Agron

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Dianna Agron. also Katie McGrath and Chyler Leigh.

36. favorite movie?

The Wizard of Oz

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i don’t read as much as i used to. but my favorite s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. do you sense a trend here?

38. money or brains?

brains

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

a few. most people call me Tab. my family (mostly my cousins) calls me Tabby. Nicole occasionally brings Tigger/Tig back. my mom calls me Bear… i have a lot.

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

too fucking many.

41. top 10 favorite songs

oh boy.. (not in order)

The Devil in My Bloodstream by The Wonder Years; Knuckles by Moose Blood; To and Fro by Thomston; Cigarettes and Saints by The Wonder Years; Gum by Moose Blood; BOTL by Quinn Lewis; Disdain by Knuckle Puck; Mess by Real Friends; Somebody Else covered by Alice Kristiansen; Space by Ally Hills

42. do you take any medications daily?

no

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

oily i guess.

44. what is your biggest fear?

being buried alive or being awake but paralyzed. 

45. how many kids do you want?

idk like 3

46. whats your go to hair style?

if i ever actually do something to my hair i just straighten it.

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small as fuck. 

48. who is your role model?

my grandma.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

yesterday i got a letter from my professor with really good feedback from my child study observation report. she said i was really observant and that i wrote a really great paper.

50. what was the last text you sent?

umm my turn on battleship to nicole.

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

i didn’t tell my mom until i was 11 or 12. i kinda realized it when i was like 9 or 10 though… i refused to accept it.

52. what is your dream car?

1962 cadillac coupe deville.

53. opinion on smoking?

disgusting. i do it sometimes though.

54. do you go to college?

yeah i’m about to start my 2nd semester of my sophomore year.

55. what is your dream job?

i would love to be able to just write.

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

suburbs i guess.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

sometimes. i did in disney and i still have it bc of the mickey ears.

58. do you have freckles?

no.

59. do you smile for pictures?

usually. but i don’t usually show my teeth.

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

like 1200.

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

no.

62. do you still watch cartoons?

cartoons are awesome.

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

wendy’s for quality, mcdonald’s for nostalgia.

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

for… chicken nuggets? this question was poorly placed.

65. what do you wear to bed?

depends. if i’m alone, a tshirt and underwear. if not, a tshirt and shorts. leggings if i wanna get ready faster the next morning.

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

i don’t think my school even did spelling bees.

67. what are your hobbies?

is netflix a hobby?

68. can you draw?

if i’m in the mood to. 

69. do you play an instrument?

no i wish.

70. what was the last concert you saw?

the wonder years (who’s surprised? no one? hm, odd).

71. tea or coffee?

tea.

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

dunkin. but like… wawa.

73. do you want to get married?

meh. we’ll see.

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

JL

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

probably. i don’t like my last name.

76. what color looks best on you?

black?

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yep.

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed.

79. do you believe in ghosts?

yeah.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

when people one word me/don’t put in effort to a conversation. also when people put the toilet paper on top of the holder instead of taking literally 3 seconds to undo the old roll and put the new one on like wtf.

81. last person you called

my mom.

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

depends on the day. currently mint chocolate chip.

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

golden oreos.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

depends on the ice cream.

85. what shirt are you wearing?

a black tank top and a knit sweater.

86. what is your phone background?

a picture of the wonder years performing warped tour with Cigarettes and Saints lyrics. i keep meaning to change it though bc Audi made me a kick ass Katie McGrath background.

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy as fuck.

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

my god yes it’s the best.

89. do you like your neighbors?

…i don’t think i’ve ever spoken to them?

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

usually i wash it or rinse it in the morning and i use a makeup wipe and rinse it at night. 

91. have you ever been high?

no.

92. have you ever been drunk?

yeah that’s new. fun stuff.

93. last thing you ate?

a dove chocolate.

94. favorite lyrics right now

i heard the voices and implications. telling me who i could never be.

last year I was a train wreck, now I’m just a mess.

the thought of you is so loud

you were my love, you wanted this. i gave it all but you took what you did.

95. summer or winter?

winter.

96. day or night?

night.

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk.

98. favorite month?

october.

99. what is your zodiac sign

virgo.

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my grandma? probably.