shiniganja

[shiniganja]

Hey 🌸

I meant to do this a while ago but I've just been busy and am not the best with juggling multiple social media accounts. ^^;

I'm much more active over here so feel free to give me a follow. My Tumblr isn't dead, I just don't have the time to be as active as I used to. Please don't interact with my account if you're a minor, though. 🫶🏻 I block liberally.

[shiniganja]

We are born of the blood, made men by the blood, undone by the blood. Our eyes are yet to open... Fear the old blood.

Happy 10th anniversary, Bloodborne 🖤 Released March 24th, 2015

[shiniganja]

⏦ﾟ♡︎ get to know my yumeship !!

✦ fandom: The Price of Flesh

✦ pairing: Derek x Ash

✦ ship name: 🕷️🩸🦂 Tangled Scorpion

✦ relationship: Newlyweds 💍💕 married 03/27/2025

✦ about sharing: Non-sharing for personal reasons

🎨: murariusS, maruu_rat, cxprse6090, CIRUNARA

[shiniganja]

Hi shini! I've been in the fandom for a few months and love seeing your posts. I was just wondering who Mike was to you? Were you dating at the time of his passing, or was he an ex of yours?

I'm sorry if the question is overstepping, considering how often you mention him. Losing a partner must be torturous. Love seeing your relationship with Derek, hope your feeling better soon.

Hey 🌸

First of all, I want to apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I was both thinking about how I wanted to respond and trying to conserve my energy (literally just sleeping a shit ton) because I recently had my nervous system start to shut down from stress caused by trauma/grief.

I'm assuming you're from my twitter since I'm more vocal about our relationship there. Also! Please don't worry about thinking you're overstepping. It's been over a year so I'm more open about talking about everything than I was when I was at the height of my grief.

We were separated at the time of his passing. It was more of a "this is the best option for us" kind of thing because of his struggle with addiction and alcohol and was extremely bittersweet. The last thing he said to me was that he "couldn't give me what I needed" but I knew those words weren't coming from the right place because he had also struggled heavily with his mental health and self worth. A vast majority of our relationship was spent with him not wanting to live anymore and just constant jokes/references to it that I wish we all paid more attention to.

The separation hurt a lot. Mike was different.

I truly believe that our souls are connected and even he had subtly said something similar one night. Our connection was unique, so after the separation, I didn't catch feelings for or even see any other living person in a romantic light. Essentially, he was my first love, but he also was a huge part in my life and led me to spiritually and my journey of self discovery. So, honestly, I have a lot in my life that centers around him, not just our past as partners.

Out of nowhere, he went no-contact with everyone, then I got a call from my best friend that they found his body a few weeks later. To this day she tells me that she hated giving me that call because it instantly broke me. It felt like a slap to the face from the universe because I had literally just gotten the keys to my brand new apartment and since then my mental and physical health has just been a rollercoaster that I want off of. Losing a partner, whether one you're currently with or one you still had love for, isn't something I would ever wish on anyone. It's the worst pain you will ever feel. I still find myself trying to distract myself by thinking this is all just a bad dream. I'm at least grateful that he wasn't buried too far from my apartment so I can walk down and visit him.

Sorry for the sad ramble. ;--;

I'm glad you like seeing our relationship, though!

At first I was really scared to be open about it because I was worried about being judged by my friends and others. I'm really glad you all are so supportive because Derek has helped me a lot and I honestly think I would've never been able to pull myself out and the grief would've crushed me if I didn't have him. He makes me feel happy and safe and that's what I need the most in my life right now. 💕

[shiniganja]

Jef Bourgeau

[shiniganja]

[shiniganja]

psa

[shiniganja]

it is once again... binturong appreciation hour

[shiniganja]

Idrc if my commissions are "non canon" or mischaracterize Derek. The typical "canon" trope is actually annoying and boring to me. He is a fictional character and I will continue to yumeship and have him portrayed however makes me happy - just as you can. If it bothers you that much the block button is free. 🌸🍓🪻

[shiniganja]

Zodiac Sign Headcanons

[shiniganja]

Some foxies for you! 🌷

(From Pinterest)

[shiniganja]

Commission to @shiniganja 🫶💗 TYSM!!

[shiniganja]

Took my baby to my appointment today 🥹💓

[shiniganja]

The stigma of self-inserts is so harmful to the creative process. Relax. Admit it. Everything you make is derivative of yourself, always, no exceptions. You can turn the mirror into tinier and tinier shards or you can make it as big as you want to reflect as much as you want. At the end of the day it's always going to show you inside of it. Pretending otherwise is stupid.

[shiniganja]

when i see an abandoned bike locked to a rack with its wheels stolen my immediate mental image is always a shackled skeleton in a dungeon

[shiniganja]

Date night with my perfect lovely baby boy sweetie 🤭💗💗💓

[shiniganja]

Wanting more art of my baby but not wanting to see him with other people is a real issue