#this is almost as bad as last week
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I’m meant to be working but all I can think of is: Buck really said “I’m an ally” whilst on a whole date with another man if that’s not bisexual culture then I don’t know what is I love him your honor. My thoughts and prayers and condolences to everyone else whose productivity is suffering this Thursday.
#911#911 spoilers#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#I really have stock to put out#I’m standing in front of it in my empty store typing this post#and I don’t normally make posts#but here I am#because the screaming in my head needs to be shared#I have five and a half hours left of my shift then another three until the episode#this is almost as bad as last week#personal
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me every single time i’m on the edge of going fully insane about a new fandom: haha what if i just checked ao3. just for fun. just to see what there is. i won’t save anything or get in too deep i’ll just do some recon. i’ll just go see. for fun
#the locked tomb OWNS me this week. i read gideon before but gideon in combination with harrow is a whole new flavour of insanity#i almost bought a t shirt last night except i wouldn’t pay the postage it’s BAD#i remember this phase for merlin and look what happened there 🫡#mine
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avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
#i have. so many absences it's ridiculous to go right now i know it will be worse if i dont go i have to go#ive been just tossing and turning for like 2 hours with some freakign heart palpitations cause im so fucking scared#i was supposed to go last week and i didnt do it then either and every time i feel worse but i cant make myself go#AAAAAAAAA Im gonna die here i know i just have to force myself but i dont want to i want to stay at home which will fix nothing and#make everything worse in the long run#im aware of thsi but i still cant get myself to go idk what to do in this situation i feel horrible augh#i have so many absences I literally went once at the start of the semester and it's been what. 2 and a half months almost 3#i didnt do much for the class and i didnt go to class idk what to do.. theres literally no other way than to force myself to go#i KNOW I'll instantly feel better if i just stay home. i knowww i knowwww but its not going to help anything#i feel like shit and so ashamed and i just really dont want to go through this#FUUCK#im just#completely in panic mode rn. idk if i wont just try to go tomorrow idk if this is a bad decision im still just putting it off#im just totally by myself and cant even talk to anyone to calm down uauauhcgchdhd#im feeling pretty pathetic rn i should be able to do thisss i should be able to do this by myself#this is like self inflicted psychological horror and it's like every other day for me for many years now ouughh
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had to start eating gluten free this week is there literally anything worse 😭 I feel like I’ve been sentenced to death
#the suffering does not end!!!!!#hopefully this is my mystery allergy :/#because boy it’s been almost a year now and I’m sick of breaking out into rashes!!!#my mom has celiac so I should’ve done this way sooner but I was being stubborn#but I got such a bad rash last week I had to try something
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Okay, it's not a good *wallet* habit, but i highly recommend cultivating a stress response of acquiring a new niche hobby. Work is hard? New hobby! Never enough hours in the day to do important things? NEW HOBBY. It's a flawless solution, don't even worry. I have no idea how long I'm going to be preoccupied with this, because I'm accelerating but have no gauge for max speed, but straw marquetry time
#i also got good news at work when i was expecting bad news so#emotional turmoil? NEW! HOBBY!!!!!!!#jk i bought the supplies after giving a high stakes presentation two weeks ago#and then jumped into motion after almost being dumped into an even higher stakes presentation with no prep time last week#also as a partial salve for not being able to afford a woodworking space of my own#if you can't buy your own wood veneers homemade is fine#the straw is really interesting#it's finicky because it's small and stiff#but in some ways it's more forgiving than paper OR wood#reasonable decisions: what if my first ever project was 1.5x2 feet#some girls will ask has anyone ever made their own straw marquetry mat for a frame and not wait for an answer
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what are your favorite ninjago seasons?
Rise of the Snakes, HANDS DOWN.
I've rewatched it so many times, and I adore this season, it's so nostalgic, and easy to digest, it brings me back to when I was 12 years old searching "Lloyd gets revenge against the ninja" on youtube only to instantly get spoiled that he was the green ninja LOL. (twelve years old me really thought he was going to become a major villain and I WAS READY TO EMBRACE THAT)
altought I also rewatch Dragon Rising alot? Probably cuz it's easy to watch it and similiar to season 1, it just feels like I'm eating a snack.
I also really like Possesion and March of the oni, but that's mainly becuase of the opening? like the opening of the season is just so cool.
and I feel like seabound is one of my top favorites becuase I am AWFUL at dealing with that type of stuff so I was sobbing so hard in the end. Same with Sons of Garmadon.
#watched Sons of Garmadon for a second time with a friend last week and it's still insanely good#I think that out of all of them I have enjoyed Dragon Rising and Rise of the Snakes the most#ITS JUST A DIFFERENT VIBEEE YKNOW???#Season 2 is also very cool#My least favorite is probably The fire chapter one#ICE CHAPTER WAS NICE THO#ones that I hate rewatching is Rebooted and Hands of time#they aren't even bad it's just like idk I have a hard time sitting throught it#and the ones I feel guilty for liking it is prime empire and the island#IT IS SO LIKE “NOT GREAT??” BUT I ENJOYED IT ALOT#Ones I didn't mention here I consider great or nostalgic to me#also funfact 12 years old me really felt guilty for watching a show for children#WELL GUESS WHAT GIRL??? YOU ARE ALMOST 20 LMAOOOOOO NEEEEERDDDD#GUESS WHO USES HER SALARY TO BUY LEGOS??? YOUUU!!! LOSER!!! BAHAHAHA
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@naffeclipse
Them ❤️
#HOLD ON IMMA RAMBLE IN TAGS#my ârt#fnaf daycare attendant#cryptid sightings#naffeclipse#OKOKok so maybe I got busy with school for a few weeks there and couldn't keep up#BUT last week I finally sat down and read like 6 chapters in a row#and my stars I am bouncing off the walls#naff naff listen these demon guys live in my brain#this is exactly how I got excited during sleuth jesters naff you have sorcery#good lord you know how to write tension and foreshadowing#I have theories I have thoughts but I truly just want to see all the guns placed on stage and they are about to go off I can feel it#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh their emotional conflict is killing me and ripping my heart out#they want to say something so bad but also protect the bean bc they're clearly scared and they're gonna freak out but#can they calm the heart down before it runs away?#naff I am not joking this is literally my favorite thing rn#anyway it's almost 2am have a lovely night!!!!#friend fanart#tw blood
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Teeny tiny snupdate regarding the new ball python! He's settled in so well and has become a lovely, cuddly - even kissy snake. He was really quite shy to start off with, even handling was scary for him as even though he didn't ball up, he would flinch a lot at unexpected movements. Two months down the line, he seems to really enjoy coming out, nice long tongue flickers and wanting to check everything out. ❤️
#💀 ;; ooc#;; mun rambles#It's not munday but it is Wednesday and I hope everyone is doing well!#I've been doing my chores today since it's my one day off this week and things had to be washed#But new guy wanted to come out today too and he's gotten sooo sweet#snake tw#snake cw#He's gotten a bit bigger too! Up from 160ish grams to almost 190g#Should be on small weaners soon#Will aim for getting his big viv either at the end of the month or start of next :3#Going to try and be active tonight I think I am shaking off this cold at last#Wasn't very strong but it lingered like a bad smell yeesh
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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the final evolution
#accidntally dressed adult stella like me…. literally been wearing an almost identical outfit all week#only difference is i had 3 coats on bc it is cold lol#anyway. hi. hello. how are we doing#i finally registered for my winter classes. i’m not particularly excited for any of them#i was having a Situation tm with my registration so a lot of classes were full by the time i got around to signing up#luckily i managed to get the one class i actually needed but the other 2 i’m taking are just kind of whatever#all 3 are english classes#unfortunately i do have one class that goes until 5:30 in the evening but#my other choice was taking one at 8 in the morning#so compared to that… it isn’t so bad#i do not wake up nice lol#all i want to do today is draw but i need to catch up on some school work#ik i said i was gonna save the boys for last but i have a Vision for dhes’ character sheet so#i might do his next#other than that…. i might try to catch up on all the posts i’ve missed#i haven’t been on a whole lot except here & there so ik i’m way behind on everyone’s cool stuff#need to get a q goin again#n e way#artwip#rainyrambles
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it was once observed by a dear friend that the hours in which i am most alert are like 7pm to 2am which probably explains a lot about how my posts get worse throughout the evening. but also sometimes i look at today where i was just sort of gnawing the couch all day until about 5pm when i wrote an entire fic in two hours and then another entire post about kaapo which to be clear took another two hours bc i had to chase links and explain my passions in a kind way and this was in addition to a church meeting. i would excel as the person who lights and then extinguishes lamps in the night
#this morning my therapist was like your eyes are red what's going on#and i said bro i am not on drugs. it is cold and dry in my apartment and i was standing in front of a sad lamp#and they said ah. a sun lamp. i see#YES. BC I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON AND I AM BEING PUNISHED BY CAPITALISM TO GO TO THERAPY AT 10 IN THE MORNING#INSTEAD OF 6PM WHEN I WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION BETTER#i think they think i am abusing substances. human the reason i am the way i am bc i am not abusing substances#i am rawdogging reality in almost every way and i HATE it. i am experiencing a full of range of emotions in real life!!#one good thing about today i must say. i looked in the mirror and went oh wow my california hair stylist did a good job!#my california hair stylist was good at cutting my hair in that she was filipina and understood how to cut filipino hair#she was not good at cutting my hair in that she would get too deep in explaining warriors drama and get distracted while cutting my hair#and up doing something absolutely wacko that made me look like a pepe frog guy bc she was too amped up about klay and steph#and then i'd be stuck with fucking alt right hair for a good three weeks and my only saving grace is how i look ambiguously ethnic#BUT when i saw her last i was like i need you to give me a haircut where if i can't get my hair cut for four months i don't#look stupid as hell. and she said oh yeah i can do that. and gave me a blow by blow of klay and steph's divorce while cutting my hair#and i was fearing for my life. but now that it has grown out pretty significantly i will say she did a very good job of cutting it#unlike every other time i grew out my hair in a big way and it looked incredibly stupid for several months until it evened out#but she cut it so it looks like my hair is on purpose. which i appreciate!#now i have more time to decide if i want to avenge bo bichette and grow out my hair again#without feeling stressed about looking incredible stupid and unkempt#thank you nicole...a true ally...i will never forget how much you hate kevin durant even though you stressed me out so bad...#and you may be wondering why if she gave me that many bad hair cuts why i'd keep going to her#and the answer is: bc i only want my warriors and 49ers news to be reported by an energetic filipina lesbian holding razor on my neck#and unfortunately the local newspaper beats just can't replicate that experience#fresno oilers.txt
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attention pleasepleaspleaseplease
#onyx.txt#fia almost revealed#smth ab me like last week while regressed and they told me later cus they felt bad even tho they didnt and i briefly considered using the#power i have for more evil things than bringing our mood down and splitting
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original colors
#a doodley#1. alt title was gonna just be Dracula. like. the my name is dvd normal post.#2. im still struggling soooo much to find a way to darken my fun usual line drawings to color em in like this.#like. i always end up losing what makes em fun and gorgeous and it turns into this. no 2 tone. just looks bad and messy.#3. when talon is almost too weak to fang feed he'll use the last of his energy to low energy shapeshift to look like dis#less purple hair - his original brown eyes - original ears#just a little more disarming than the usual...easier to lure someone...doesnt sap too much energy...it works !#also i think talon wld learn internet shit from al bothering him with it#i already know im gonna hate this doodle in like a week so im. sorry for how bad it is in advance. my art brain takes ages to develop.
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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I got home, put my pajamas on, carried around my Barn Owl plush(Kiev(also Soren but originally and forever Kiev)), restarted the dryer, and then went upstairs to immediately go outside on the deck and literally chill. Then came back inside 'cause I don't want frostbite and scrolled on here.
I've reached my people limit far faster this time and it's a miracle if I make it through the holidays with committing murder.
#I haven't carried Kiev around like i did for about a year#and the last time is just short of a year when a tentative friend fucking lost him at target for a week and i genuinely considered cutting#off the friendship because of it#it does not help that my chronic pain was flaring BAD in january so I was already in a bad mood#this plushie is so precious to me#I bought him myself at the National Archives in Washington DC almost 4 years ago next year on the first day when overstimulation was being#a bitch.#like fuck I'm letting him go anytime soon#you can pry him from my cold dead hands#I'm so done with people but i have another week before Christmas and i work in retail#this next week is only gonna get bussier and im gonna hate it#might wait through the new year before quitting and getting a new job#I fucking need it
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