#this is all i can think of rn but im sure theres more
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Traits I think Bart Allen should always have:
Freckles
A little gap between his teeth
Crooked smile
Those giant boots he has in the Impulse '95 run
The giant hair that is also featured in the '95 run
#we should also bring back his little thought bubbles#this is all i can think of rn but im sure theres more#bart allen#flashfam#dc
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...
#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way#sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table#theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential#its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war#(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time#both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys#both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years#things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group#and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste#it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can#also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk#but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other#(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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Could you write a drabble for Mikoto and Shidou plus Blood? This request miiight be inspired by the fact that Mikoto mentions his body hurting a lot but doesn't seem to be receiving any medical treatment, either because Mahiru and Fuuta take priority or because there's no obvious cause, and therefore cure, to his pain...
👀👀👀 Thank you, this is such a good combo ough!! It's so interesting how much focus the others get when it comes to physical health, since Mikoto has clearly complained of his condition :( It looks like Milgram is trying to push the idea that he's completely oblivious to his alters, but I spun it where he's aware, just deep in denial. So have some Mikoto angst to get us hyped for Double!
Mikoto should be grateful. He was lucky. That’s what he kept repeating to himself. He had both of his eyes intact. Both his arms. He was strong enough to walk around freely. He wasn’t on the verge of death, or collapse. Thus, he should be grateful no one was offering him any help, because it meant he didn’t need it. He repeated it again. Maybe this time he would believe it.
With a groan, his body rolled out of bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up actually feeling rested. Everything ached. His muscles tightened with soreness. His throat felt as raw as his knuckles, though he hadn’t been using either. He had no desire to lift his arms over his head, or twist around too much, so he didn’t change out of yesterday’s uniform. Maybe the belts and buckles had made it difficult to sleep. The theory wasn’t a convincing one, but dwelling on things like that had never gotten him anywhere.
He ran his fingers once through his hair, combing out a bit of the mess. Looking in a mirror was the last thing he needed. He made his way to the dining hall.
The others trickled in for breakfast. His appetite, at least, hadn’t suffered. He hardly noticed the others giving him wide-eyed stares. What were they expecting? Of course he was looking worse for wear, given the circumstances. He ignored them, glad to focus on the hot meal before him.
A hand weighed heavy on his shoulder.
“Mikoto,” Shidou’s voice may have remained calm, but it was urgent. “Do you need some help?”
“Huh?” He shrugged his hand away, offering a weak smile. “I’m fine! Oh, I think Kazui was saving a seat for you over there, if you --”
“-- How about we go to my cell for a moment? Or yours, if that would be more comfortable.”
What was everyone’s problem this morning? Mikoto did his best to keep his voice pleasant. “Really, man, I’m good.”
Shidou’s expression remained unmoving. Very carefully, he informed him, “you’re bleeding. Pretty badly by the look of it. You’re coming with me.”
Mikoto blinked. He looked over his shoulder, following Shidou’s gaze. The back of his uniform was torn across the center. A significant splotch of blood seeped into the material, growing even larger as he shifted to see it.
“...Oh…”
Back in Shidou’s cell, sad to have left his breakfast plate behind, he slumped into a chair. Shidou gathered together some supplies. As always, he got right to the point. “What happened?”
“I… I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything from last night. I don’t remember most nights, recently. I know that sounds crazy, but…”
“It’s fine. I have definitely heard crazier.” He smiled, something gentle and reassuring. As usual, there was something hidden behind his eyes. It was as if he already knew what Mikoto was up to late at night that earned him so much soreness the following days. He didn’t offer an explanation, though. Mikoto didn’t press him for one.
He winced as he was helped out of his uniform. Removing his shirt revealed the mysterious gash. Shidou’s eyes widened at the array of scratches and scars. Some were fresh, but most originated long before Milgram. Though he didn’t ask, Mikoto answered.
“I’m pretty clumsy, huh?” Maybe this time he would believe it.
Shidou was kind enough to pretend to. “Here, allow me…”
Shidou got to work cleaning and dressing the injuries. Mikoto closed his eyes. Even though the disinfectant stung, and sometimes those gloved fingers pressed a little two hard, it felt nice to have things patched up.
“Is there anything else going on? Are you feeling pain anywhere else?”
Mikoto could have laughed. He didn’t. “I’m just sore. And my head’s been killing me, but I’m used to migraines. Perks of the verdict, I’m sure.”
Shidou hummed in thought.
“Thanks, by the way. I’ll try to be more careful.” Not that he had much choice in the matter, it seemed. But he’d do his best.
Shidou kept his face straight, but there were traces of pain in his voice. “I will too. I’m sorry, Mikoto. If I had known… I’ve been distracted lately, but I should have paid closer attention.”
“It’s fine,” he flashed a grin. “I know the others are pretty fucked up. And I’m not dying or anything. I’m lucky, you know?”
“I wouldn’t say so. Doctors don’t only treat the dying.”
Mikoto frowned.
It didn’t take much longer to finish treatment. Shidou gave him a few instructions about the bandages, then offered him a clean shirt. “You’re good to go. I’ll be checking in more often, now. I’ll see if I can find something for your head.”
“Thanks. Really.”
He returned Mikoto’s torn uniform. “You should talk to Es about getting a new one. Until then, you’ll want to clean this with --”
Mikoto waved a dismissive hand, heading out of the cell. “Don’t worry, I know how to wash blood out of my clothes. Er, that sounds bad. I’m just a clutz, yeah? The blood’s always been my own.”
Maybe this time he would believe it.
#milgram#mikoto kayano#shidou kirisaki#im so fucked up over mikotos state rn :(( im pretty sure his vd is going to melt me into a little puddle on the floor on wednesday#id need to do more research on what doctors are supposed to do but i think shidou knows mikoto is in denial and wants him to work through#the realization on his own first instead of forcing it on him - and telling him wont stop the late night rampages in his cell#and youre right - theres not an easy cure for the stress headaches and all that anyway so theres only so much he can do#but yeah itd make sense that shidou (and the others) were genuinely too busy with the 12yo and dying patients to notice his condition...#sorry for having a shirtless mikoto moment 😭 i didnt want to pull a meme but it was needed for the prompt 😤#i kept it in mikotos pov but when shidou mentions what doctors do hes having an internal crisis about if hes a good doctor rip#i do think mikoto only had one victim but still got into fights and stuff sometimes - hence others' blood on his clothes in the past#thank you so much for the request!!#the double hype has been Consuming me asdfsdf so this was a ton of fun to write ;-;#drabbles
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I'm very happy I found your blog! I absolutely ADORE ff13. The story, the characters, the mythos... it's all so compelling to me. I get frustrated whenever I see people hate on this game because I honestly do not understand why some claim it's the worst ff in existence? I totally get that the combat is not everyone's cup of tea (I personally love it) and that the linearity can be tedious to players who enjoy big open worlds, but in terms of the story itself and its characters I really can't comprehend what all the negative backlash is about. Which sucks because I truly would like to understand where the hate is coming from. My only major criticism is that the exposition could have been better executed, since a lot of it is hidden in the datalog entries. But other than that, I think the characters are very complex and the way the story unravels around them is a wonder to experience. Also as a side note, I can't believe people still hate Hope and accuse him of being annoying and useless when he's arguably the character that evolves and shows the most growth in the entire game 😭 It's almost as if the people who hate on him didn't finish the game. But yeah, I was wondering if you have any criticisms regarding ff13? I'm very interested in your opinion!
GODDD i know right??? subjective opinion is all fine and dandy, but it's the people that claim the game is objectively bad that really frustrate me 😭 ESPECIALLY when they shit on any of the characters (hope my boy </3) because honestly??? ffxiii has THE best character arcs in the whole franchise and that's a hill i'll die on
as for criticisms? i actually do have some, believe it or not fdjsmf
as much as i personally love the gameplay i gotta admit i don't like how slow-paced it can be. boss fights are really really fun, but fighting regular mob enemies when you're grinding (and you really do need to grind a lot after reaching pulse) can get real tedious
i like that not everything is told to us directly and that we have to figure out a lot of stuff on our own, but i do dislike how some important information in the datalogs are not really brought up in the game itself. like the first time i played xiii-2 i was so confused when serah mentioned being saved by vanille once? and then in 2021-ish when i replayed xiii again and read the datalogs i saw that they actually wrote that vanille and fang carried serah out of the vestige after she was turned l'cie and i just!! why was that not at least hinted at some more!!
also, they did vanille's english voice actor so dirty 😭 she does such an amazing job in the sequels and i don't understand why the english localization team made her do all those noises in xiii lmao
speaking of vanille, i'm also really disappointed that her and lightning barely interact!!!!! they're the two most important characters in the first game but they probably have the least interactions together out of any other pair in the group and it bugs me so much ashdfjms
#im sure theres more i cant think of rn#that last one is a big one tho i dont understand why they interact so little#at least lr rectified that a little but still eesh#ask#anonymous#final fantasy xiii#someones gotta tell the haters you can have criticisms about a game without shitting all over it
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seeing the idea that haz/bin and hell/uva should've taken place in an alternate universe instead of being connected canon and honestly i'm not sure i disagree now. i do wonder how much stuff they've locked themselves entirely out of using in both shows because of legal issues. its already kind of noticeable + not super thrilled with the idea that in order to fully understand the lore there's 2 shows you'd have to consume that aren't allowed to directly refer to each other
#not tagging this one thats why theres slashes this ultimately isnt a big deal honestly just thinking out loud#lucifers absence is already glaringly awkward in mastermind#like literal king of hell btw we are going to avoid saying anything too specific or showing imagery of our interpretation of lucifer#because we arent allowed#and now literally every sin other than lucifer is spent on hell/uva instead of hazbin#which had a direct reference to bephelgor before she even turned up in helluva#and ik its not as big of a deal for a show constrained entirely to the pride ring#but i wonder sometimes if it was worth it#surely evening out the distribution of important figures in demonology between the shows would've been better though#like every sin except pride and prominent ars goetia are stuck in helluva now who are like. a huge deal in hells hierarchy in this show#ofc theres always more demonology to pull from but yknow yknow. its awkward. the sins and the goetia are important#powerful figures but entirely absent from the heaven vs hell conflict which could effect all of them eventually#im sure they can figure out how to crossover one day honestly but is the process for that even worth it atp#like again there are bigger issues im just thining abt this rn for some reason
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I should just clean my room and take bath or something
#that would help me feel better im sure i think#and maybe eat but i dont want to eat rn#snack time#uhh but i hate all the snacks there are#even the snacks in this house arent for me wow#and she knows i hate them too lol#and then she gets mad when i say theres nothing and says well you shouldve got some!! WITH WHAT MONEY. BRO OH MY GOD SHE MAKES ME WANNA PULL#all my teeth out i cannotytttttt#and its not like we go out she uses that stupid app and then cries about it costing more on the fucking apo like yeah no duh#i like going out too so idk why she blames me for this kind of thing#ohhhh we never go outttt. well yeah. i have no money for transportation or food. tf u want me to do#i dont even have a map. you wont recharge my goddamn phone#then you cry about wishing there was a man in this house like ok. maybe you should just help me out a little most of this shit i could do#what is your problem!!! die. well this is all discounting the fact of my social anxiety and language problem but like. i can push through#you make me do that all the time anyway so#whatever#i dont know anymore this just pisses me off#i wish i could burn this whole house down#or blow up this entire country yeah
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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Had a very bad day Gotta eat gravel
#had to work a shift with only one other coworker and we were in this same position last weekend too and so like last time#he had this Moment where like as we locked up he was yelling very frustratedly about an annoying customer#which is fair but lol we dont know each other well enough for him to yell and rant like that to me like i get it but#god i hate yelling and just felt like shit and wanted to die#then tonight i was legitimately kinda scared cuz uh liiike. he had a lot more little Moments#i think like some kid dropped something and it broke and he had to clean it up and he got frustrated#and like. went in the back where the custom framing shit is and there was loud banging with a hammer and glass shattering#and he went back and did this multiple times and customers heard it too and were like uhhh 😰#i was already in a bad mood coming in and this really didnt help its honestly a miracle i didnt start having a meltdown#i guess ive just had to deal with so many man babies at home that all i can do is look at them like a disappointed parent and ask if they#would like me to take them to daycare#so yeah that was fun i uh dont like this guy hes always wearing very cutesy clothes and all i can think of is the bit where its like#‘there is nothing little about your things’#also i got money problems and keep getting fast food cuz i got eating problems and theres not much here i can eat and obviously#buying food so much wastes money so i was gonna try to make a sandwich today and like we dont have half the shit needed#and the bread was moldy obviously and theres so many bugs in the house cuz ive been too busy to clean and my sister was here#and the cat is here and my mom does everything wrong and then i spilled water everywhere and everything just went wrong#im also in a horrible place mentally doing so so bad so unbelievably stressed rn#just like. im repressing very bad and literally procrastinating having feelings like everything is going so wrong but i cant feel bad#because i dont have time for that so ill feel bad later when i escape which surely will happen someday ahahaha fuuuck#dont know whats real anymore maybe ive made everything up maybe the abuse is just me being dramatic maybe im the worst child in the world
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im not gonna say you cant use the n word w a hard r on a almost fully anonymous tumblr account where you claim to be black-
I will say that it makes you 100% more suspicious and worth keeping an eye out on you bc usually its neo nazis pretending to be black that spam saying the n word w an r and use tumblrs weird trust for almost fully anonymous accounts to their advantage to get away w it
you can say it, but, if you Are a neo nazi pretending to be black, I will say, you're not doing a good job of convincing me rn that you actually are.
#got too excited you could get away w saying it ey?#inb4 'PeOpLe aLwAyS DeMaNd yOu GiVe YoUr LiFe sToRy-' bs- babe--- i wouldn't have cared or even noticed or even remarked on it#if you said it w an a. its more believable at least. lmao.#and I say bs bc ik its likely a neo nazi and ik they know that we say that a lot on tumblr- that ppl dont owe u every detail of their life#- and ik a neo nazis one of the least trustworthy people in the world so ofc they would abuse that line to get away w saying the n word#w a hard r around a bunch of progressives who have so little info about you that they dont know if they get the right to feel uncomfortable#when you say it- but personally im not built like that and i will tell you rn im uncomfortable w you saying it and idc what excuse you give#doesnt mean you hafta do whatever i say. just means I actually take a stance on shit unlike a lot of easily manipulated tumblr users.#i mean come on. its a neo nazis wet dream to run around a progressive (well. given recent events- supposedly progressive) space#and say slurs unchecked by said progressives. its one of their favorite ways of having you shut up. even if it is all done in secrecy#like the cowardly bitch made bitch built bitches they are. theyd never do it off anon or with their face exposed.#they simply cant take the heat. so the only way this type of person can feel like they've won is when they do manipulative shit like this i#secret. which is just so so sad. this is how ik the nazis are gonna lose. you're too much of a cowardly bitch to say it in front of#progressives with your whole chest.#why're you so scared? afraid you might be outnumbered? afraid you might not win as many ppl over as you think you will?#i mean cmon nows the perfect time to take the mask off right? perfect time to radicalize leftists? surely there shouldnt be#an issue waving your red flag huh? come on now. dont be shy. why are you scared? afraid you might reveal to the leftists you're#trying to indoctrinate that you're actually a hateful pos? and that you've been manipulating them to hate jewish ppl?#nah you're right joshua tyler stevenson it's probably a better idea to hide in the shadows like a bitch.#you're black on the notoriously white website? yeah. ok#i mean im sure theres just so many black ppl just dying to be here. thats why most black ppl ik hate this site 😒 for sure dawg i believe u#i mean ig if there were ever a place for a black nationalist to roam unchecked it'd be here though... generally they stick to twitter ime#its just hard to believe when I seldom see black ppl on here to begin w and most of the ones I do see are just like. normal people#w/o weird fucked beliefs. and if you are black- i think its really interesting that the black ppl with black nationalist beliefs almost#never show their faces in any capacity ever while other normal black ppl do. what are you scared of? afraid ppl irl will recognize u#and laugh?? or is it that... you're not actually a black person......... so far professor flowers is the only internet black nationalist#who's dared to show their face that ik of.
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the tnt in end portal trap, the frost walker boots, using fireworks to kill the hunters, the light sensor ender pearl trick
What is your favorite manhunt moment?
Despite watching them so often I never drew any manhunt art which is absolutely not okay. Would love to do a little series with some of our manhunt moments :D
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having a pretty shitty day !
#not really because of anything thats happened directly to me#but mostly im not sure how to process a lot of things#my mom is going through a lot and i really want to be there for her but#i think theres still a lot of resentment i feel for her for getting herself in these shitty situations#and then burdening me with all the details about just how shitty it is#like shes not really being a mom shes being a child or a stranger and not keeping enough private#or rather probably keeping the wrong things private#and i want to make things better for her but i also hate constantly having to play the parent role#especially here where shes at the center of a web shes spun and theres literally nothing i can do about it#i should have more compassion for her#but really i think im just mad and trying to process my own grief about her and her situation#and i cant get in to talk to my therapist until the middle of next week#and i think my new boss is not super thrilled w me rn and trying to steer me towards a career i dont want#and i cant find a place to live thats not a shithole or absurdly expensive#in a city that i fucking hate#and its cold and gloomy out today and im sick and not having a good time!
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I dont know why I had this vision of clora riding a scooter, like a cute light blue one with italy vibes, like a vespa, and sebastian panicking behind her LMAO
I SEE THE VISION AS WELL...idk how shes on a vespa tho since they werent invented yet so lets just assume theres time-turner shenanigans going on LMAO
but also anon this request was so funny to me because the SAME day you sent me it, i also got this one on twitter:
TRULY THE DUALITY OF MAN IS AT PLAY HERE!!! LMAOO debauchery vs wholesomeness...and it made me laugh so much
(and for anyone curious yes i WILL also be honouring the other request......eventually👀)
@jstfndmthngs splitting your ask into 2 again bc its a CHONKER but I LOVED READING IT🥹🥹 "how much they love each other to the abnormal level that i envy" LMAOO THATS FANFICTION FOR YOU, BABY!!😍 also YESS interacting with my readers in the comments was my fav parts of writing a lot of the time, and im SOOO grateful to the ppl who commented bc without them the story would have turned out DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT. like, i know there are some people who write the entirety of their fanfic and then upload it in chunks, but if i had done that/written my story in a vacuum and hadnt incorporated any of my readers ideas/suggestions it would have been SOOOO much worse honestly LMAO. like, not even necessarily putting their requests or ideas in my fic, but even sometimes just reading a comment that would say something like "i cant wait to see how clora/seb reacts to..." would make me think...oh. i was never planning on even showing their reaction to that. but now that they say that, good point, i definitely need to include that LOL. so yeah even just little stuff like that was SUPER important to my writing process and my story and helped me keep in mind what people wanted to see/things i may have missed or glossed over if i'd been writing by myself, but i also just loved getting comments in general bc i loved reading them and they were so motivating🥹 BUT THANK U SO MUCH IM GLAD U LIKED MY STORY/SEB & CLORA SO MUCH, AND TY FOR SHARING ALL YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME!!🥹💖💖 im lowkey the same way... i cant read any other fics rn bc im still too attached to seb/clora BAHAHA so i still need to give it some time before i delve into other HL fics (i even downloaded a program that will let me replace names so that i can replace the mc's name with clora's LMFAOOOO THATS HOW MENTALLY ILL I AM ABOUT THEM!!😭😭DONT COME FOR ME🏃♀️🏃♀️🚓)
omg...i already love unlocking kinks in people but for it to be specifically seb x clora is even more of an honour BAHAHA omg i love that....but i get it too. clora is submissive and breedable af😍LMAOO (im sorry💀that wasnt me just now that was seb blame him)
@acrenna MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS AND ALSO LATE HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! this is so sweet THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭im happy my story was able to get you out of your reading slump!! (and hopefully will continue to, with my oneshot im slowly but surely working on😩) BUT THANK YOU AGAIN I APPRECIATE YOU SM🥹🥹💖
@misskkfritz you actually arent the first to say this and i also saw a pinterest comment on my art say this........FELLAS DO I NEED TO WATCH GILMORE GIRLS NOW🤔🤔🤔
#ask#i always wanted a vespa because of zoey 101 DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THOSE THINGS THEY RODE i was so jealous LMFAO#also i think all fanfic writers should be able to give themselves amnesia at least once so we can read our fics and enjoy them as a reader#bc they are literally MADE for us and have all the stuff we like in them#EVERYBODY GETS ONE(1)#vote me in as president. as your first canadian president this will be my first decree. we'll figure it out
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The brain worms are flowing thru my mind rn, thinking abt toji giving aftercare after one of your roughest nights with him...
"Fuck baby, you okay?" Toji asks, he already knows that you're in pain and everything that has happened tonight will leave you bedridden for the foreseeable future.
When you dont answer him, he leans down to your ear and gives it a butterfly kiss, "its ok if you cant answer right now, just wanna make sure my pretty girl is alright..." he trails off.
"T-toji" you whimper out, your voice hoarse from using it so much.
"Hey mama, how you feeling?" Hes getting worried that he might have gone a bit overboard.
"Water" you whisper to him and hes immediately going to the kitchen to fetch you some. While he's gone, you take in your surroundings and figure out what exactly hurts and what you need to help with the ache.
You feel like your body got hit with a train when you turn to lay on your back. Theres pain blossoming in your neck and chest regin, you figure it must be the hickeys that toji left.
"Hey, got you some water and a couple of painkillers, you probably gonna nee-" he cuts off when he sees your chest, all the marks that he left, all the marks on your neck that he made. Its looks painful, but a sinister side of him loves it.
"Mama, you look really marked up, heh." He chuckles awkwardly, which he didnt know he could do. "You should take a shower with me mama, would make you a lot less sore." He suggests.
"Medssss, hurtsss." You groan out, you just want to sleep. He hands you the cup of water and the painkillers. "Shower tomorrowwww" you whine once you drink and swallow the meds.
"Nuh uh, you are coming with me to the shower, baby, no excuses." He lifts you up and walks towards the shower. Your head laying on his chest as he walks.
Toji finally reaches the bathroom and sets you down on your wobbly legs, "toji, cant standdd" you whine out.
"Just lean on me, mama." He suggests, which you gladly take up his offer. He turns on the warm water in the tub and starts adding the soap. "Listen i know you cant stand so im gonna give you a bath instead, ok mama?"
You nod and see continue to do his thing. You start to space out and think of how you ended up like this.
Maybe if you hadn't of worn that dress when you out, you wouldn't be in this situation. Toji was always jealous, but you didnt know it could be this bad, you'll just have to tell him to take an easy on you next time.
"Alright baths all filled up, just waitin for its princess to hop in." He smirks and you giggle at the way he says it.
"Can you help me toji?" You ask, still unsure if you want to test you legs out.
"Of course baby." He leans down and grabs your waist with both hands and sets you gently down in the water. The warmth immediately cooling your tight muscles.
He starts washing at you chest with a warm cloth. Your eyes close, you love the sweet moments with toji, especially after sex. He gets all mushy and lovey and you just want to bask in the feeling forever.
"Hey mama," you peek your eyes open at him, "you sure i didn't go to rough on you t'night?"
"Im fine, honey, once the bath is done and the meds kick in, I'll be fine." You smile at him
"Just didnt want to hurt my sweet girl, thats all." You kisses your lips softly.
"Im perfectly content right now toji, love the bath that you made for me and the fact that you're here." You say genuinely.
Toji just smiles and kisses your palm.
After a few more minutes of just washing up and brushing teeth, you finally head to bed and get the rest you so desperately desire.
"You all good mama? Ready for bed?" Toji asks as he holds out his arm for you to crawl into.
"Yeah, ready for bed..." you yawn. "Love you toji"
"Love you too mama"
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A/n: omg two fics in a day 🤯 you're lucky my college classes havent started yet and i get burnt out immediately 😭😭
#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji smut#toji fluff#toji x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk fic#jjk x you#jjk
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