#so theres the big trans thing
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#pokemon#Voltorb#im doing so bad today you get a voltorb finger drawing#i had a bad day#feeling so unloved rn#i feel likr no one really knows me bc i dont let them#so im thinking about being more open#so theres the big trans thing#and boy its hard being stealth#like it feels so fake#like i cant just be me#and all my friends are cis dudes#and i just dont know if they would still be my friends if they knew#but im like so sick of being easy to digest for others#im such a people pleaser#but im really just like sick of it#thats why i was thinking of dying my hair bright pink#im not sure i can handle the pressure though#of being openly different#and of course i worry about violence#i wish i dodnt have to#people are so awful though#and i live in a not super duper developed country so#anyways this lore drop was brought to you by my depression#this blog is my diary in case you missed that#i also draw pokemon lmao#043#finger drawing
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i just want my followers here specifically to know, that i post nudes on reddit (throwawaysecksee) and i recently got a really nasty death/rape threat/hate comment on one of my pictures, and i didnt even register it as a hate comment at first, i totally thought they were just dirty talking me. i was twirling my hair a little, i really am just a rapeslut at heart
#ive also wondered if im into snuff kinks or if i have ocd around snuff kinks#ive seen a couple of snuff kink posts and am like#conflicted#but like#i did feel the same way w my siscon kink as an incest abuse survivor#but like ultimately all my kinks tie back to cnc theres a reason i only post cnc content#like thats my big kink ultimately and anything that can tie into rough/hardcore cnc#like sex slavery#or kidnapping#or sex trafficking or other violent things#the trauma is unbearable at times but im really hot so🤷♂️#trans cnc#ftm cnc#t4t nsft#trans nsft#ftm nsft#st4t nsft#ftm sub#ftm bottom#ftm breeding#t4t cnc#st4t cnc
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not sure why i woke up today in a state of delirium thinking about strap sucking but i did # true
#this is about wolfgang to be clear#because of course it is#do you ever think about how theres so little art of trans men using strap or am i just looking in the wrong places#im chilling a little bit this week from my big painting wip#instead im finishing a different painting wip#and sketching a million things. its nice :) maybe some of it will be good enough to post#past few weeks ive been trying to take it a bit easy bc my thumb joints decided to protest my gaming/drawing habits#now im very cautiously trying to get back to it... veeery cautiously.. while i wait for my compression sock
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Oh damn I just realized I'm going to have to deal with being nonbinary at work IN PERSON for the first time
#like at my olds jobs i was closeted and could mostly pass as a woman#by the time i got my job at the contact center i was a lot more visibly trans but i still didnt want to be out at work#so i just didnt talk about it and let people assume whatever and use whatever pronouns#then we went wfh and that became a lot easier#when i got this promotion tho i accidentally came out as nonbinary? and everyone has been cool and accepting#but these will be whole new people that im working with. i dont know what any of their views will be#and unless i want to intentionally go back into the closet i will have to like. address my gender in person#and i feel like theres a big difference between having my pronouns in zoom/teams and having people mostly use them#but occasionally slip up and then message me on the side to apologize#and never really having to interact with them in a way that would require them to use my pronouns outside of that#and like... having to fucking like. personally introduce my pronouns and potentially be subjected to peoples confusion irl#and having much more chances for people to slip up around me#and a much less private channel for them to do the song and dance they feel obligated to do when they mess up despite me reassuring them#like what. am i supposed to wear a pronoun pin? those things are ineffective and a little cliche and i dont want to wear one anyway#i guess i can just go back to not talking about it and letting people assume whatever but thatll be even more confusing now#(and would probably invite even more uncomfortable song and dancing now that im actually out and people can get it 'wrong'#instead of just seeing it as respecting my privacy)#i cant pass as a woman anymore. theoretically i could maybe pretend to be a trans guy? but that makes me equally dysphoric#god. whats the bathroom situation gonna be like. bc i get weird looks no matter which one i go in now. will they have a gender neutral one?#maybe itll all be fine and im worried about nothing but. man am i worried 😭#rambling
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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i just finished the most stressful area rotation and i did finish the scrapbooking component <3 i’m happy how they turned out and i wanted to share them
#im not officially done w my requirements so im so STRESSED WIPES SWEAT RAHHHHH#if theres anything i feel proud of going out its that i looooove my scrapbook#it made me remember how much i missed scrapbooking! i need to go back#when i was reviewing a really old scrapbook#i laughed so hard when i opened to my first entry… it’s an introduction page and it was written in the first semester of my bsn journey#it feels nostalgic and i liked that i also used trans flag colors like my first page here (also trans colored)#i’m hoping i dont get rerotated to this area. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PASS I DONT WANT TO COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#but otherwise… my favorite page is my dinosaur page :)#it was gift wrapping paper i found and snatched from the store bc no duh#its good to scrapbook bc ive been hoarding a bunch of shit and scraps and now i get to pull out the big guns <3 love love love… fav fav fav#this rotation was so fucking stressful and im still stressed but please save meeeeee#new news: im assigned to the operating room so hopefully things will be okay#im hoping to complete all my cases so i cam gradute like pleaaaaase pleaaaaaaaase#caw.txt
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Seeing a post thats making me angry: ahh how do I disagree in a way that isnt confrontational and might help them see my point is there any point ahhhhh ummmm noticing that the post is from following a tag, not a mutual: oh fuck that, they can be wrong.
#not saying can never disagree w a mutual#this is about someone complaining about the queer shapeshifter character being bio essentialist and tagging double trouble and nimona#like uh those are both created by (the same) queer trans person so maybe pick different examples?#also murderbot. like. also. these are speculative fiction genres. That tackle big ideas through metaphor. its a metaphor.#like The Sunbearer Trials is a really good book has a transmasc protagonist and also hes part bird/quetzal?#and the author basically goes yeah I can address trans issues literally with this character but I am nevertheless choosing to do so metaphor#and#with trans creators#things are easier to deal with a step removed#i mean thats also why we engage in fiction to begin with#reading and creating#so if its cis people relegating queerness to shapeshifters and aliens and monsters yes complain about that#but queer people leaning into the tropes and exploring queerness through the tropes are not the problem!!#like in uh starsight cytonic series w brandon sanderson theres genderfucky aliens but no genderfucky humans. thats a place to improve.#anyway ahhhhhh people are wrong on the internet!!!!#mine
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sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"
theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?
of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.
and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.
anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.
I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men
but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.
being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon
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100% on the cis women can be dangerous too. It kinda bothers me when I see "no men" queer events in my area, my partner understands that its for women who generally don't feel safe around men and want a space just for women, but I've said that theres no way to enforce and separate just men without excluding people who would benefit from that space also.
and I'm AFAB and genderfluid, I tend to look more masculine because of hormones and not being white. I use womens spaces, so from just my own experience I've been harassed, assaulted, yelled at, policed, and discriminated against more from women than from men. I understand that's probably just because of me using those spaces, and I do kind of agree with my partner that women should have spaces for women, I just don't feel inherently safe being in spaces that are women only.
god that's so terrible, i'm so sorry, i actually have feelings on this that i haven't touched on before, so thank you for sending this ask
and I'm AFAB and genderfluid, I tend to look more masculine because of hormones and not being white. I use womens spaces, so from just my own experience I've been harassed, assaulted, yelled at, policed, and discriminated against more from women than from men. I understand that's probably just because of me using those spaces, and I do kind of agree with my partner that women should have spaces for women, I just don't feel inherently safe being in spaces that are women only.
the thing about this is that queer spaces are not women's only spaces. you're being alienated from spaces that you should belong to. queer spaces do not men "women only". if someone wants to make groups for queer women that are only for queer women, fine, but if they're general queer spaces, especially like trans and lesbian spaces, other people MUST be allowed to participate. not every single queer identity is centered around women.
i agree with you that women should have spaces for women. and you know what? we do! they're called women's support and resource groups. they exist in many, MANY places. even towns in the middle of nowhere end up having women's support groups. women's hospitals, women's shelters, women's hobby groups... they're out there. i have NO clue why people are trying to turn the queer community into one big """women's safe space""" but it's not right. it's because of rad fems and people are listening to them.
the queer community isn't a "women's safe space". if you think that queer spaces need to be "women's safe spaces," you're actually thinking of women's spaces. you're thinking of women's support groups. if you doubt me, please google this:
these are genuinely real places and events that happen. we don't have to try to turn the entire queer community into one big "women's safe space". trans men need safe places to go. queer men need safe places to go. genderqueer and non binary people need places to go. gays need safe places to go. intersex people need safe places to go. questioning trans women and trans women who are also men need safe places to go.
take care of yourself, anon. this behavior is just ridiculous. it's out of control
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Hello! Not a question, but I've seen a lot of people commenting/sending asks about GO season 2, so even though theres a very high chance this won't get seen, I wanted to let you know how happy it made me seeing 'the spouse' in the show. I'm non-binary, and while I do consume a lot of content with gay characters in it, it's very rare for me to see anyone under the trans umbrella. Then when I do, they're almost always a straightforward she/her or he/him kind of character, which is fine, considering they're getting represented at all, but it can be a bit frustrating. I never see anyone who's closer to my wavelength in terms of the whole gender thing
I know there's a lot of 'they's' in the show, but if I'm right, up until this person, most, if not all, of them have been either an angel, a demon, or a horseman of the apocalypse, and why would they have a solid binary view of gender? These characters did make me incredibly happy to see, but seeing a human character shown in the same light, so casually, like it was something completely normal that happens all the time, genuinely made my night (even if the rest of the season's ending did wreck me /lh)
Genuinely, it's about 8 hours later and I'm still thinking about this character. This is the first time I've seen someone like me represented in media, and to see it from a show I've been watching and adoring since it came out is incredible to me
This may not mean as much to other people, and it may not have felt like that big a thing to include, but I wanted you to know how much this truly touched my heart . I admire you and your work so much, and, i hope that your day/night is as lovely as you are
I'm really glad. I loved being able to ask Andrew to come in and play Mutt's spouse. (Also I loved the way it happened: I had no idea when I was writing Mutt whether the character would be male or female and so cheerfully wrote the spouse line to keep all our options open in casting Mutt. Once Mutt was cast, and was male, I realized that I'd grown rather fond of the "spouse", and liked the idea of casting someone who used "they" and could just be themself. This is Soho, after all.)
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Its not a big issue at all like it doesnt make me Upset but. I know its all in good fun but If people could refrain from calling My dirkjake lesbians pls😭
My designs of them both being gay men with their femininity on display and how their arcs are About the fact theyre both not “the right kind of man” and having to grapple with the idea that they can still Be Men without having to meet cisheteronormative expectations or perpetuate negative ideals is like the whole thing with them both even Existing as narrative devices considering bro and grandpas entire deals Hsfkdj
It just rubs me the wrong way because im a trans gay man and i draw dirk like me! It feels a little odd to me i guess. That people see them portrayed more feminine and assume that. Im not trying to do a “get the sapphics AWAY from me” its just .. theres so many canonical lesbians in homestuck HELP and you wouldnt say that on a drawing where theyre both cis would you? Because then theyre totally completely men. IDK felt weird to me for ppl to say that about the explicitly gay man character when hes portrayed as more feminine but esp as a visibly trans guy
I know he does look like a lesbian tho HDSHFJ ive thought of drawing jokes between him and jane about it. But it doesnt mean hes not a man. Thats kind of a point about my dirk design with him being one of the most overtly masculine characters in the whole comic (same with roxy but w being feminine while i draw her with a traditionally masculine build) all about the juxtaposition of your expectations for the way people draw these characters given their gender identities in the comic.. fuckery about the body and presentation and traditional gender ideals going on over here🤔
If somebody called my callieroxy “gay men” or “yaoi” because i draw them both with more masculine builds Id throw hands. Itd be On Site 😐
Like i said its not a huge deal but eeeeh. Scratching my butt. Dont say that abt my dirk pls ����
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TRANS MARK IS SO GOOD GATOR, like it would open up the discussion about viltrumite's and gender (which I feel like they would not give a singular shit about, to the point that even their language is gender neutral like the mandolorians in Star wars, as long as you can still make kids) but at the same time I'm trying to write that Markcest harem fic with trans Mark and I wanna write him with at least top surgery but it's making me overthink about if he would *actually* get it. Because Nolan might ward him off from transitioning because of how late Mark got his powers (he would use the excuse that if Mark got them mid surgery it'd reveal his identity, but in reality he wanted to make sure Mark would still be useful enough without his powers that he wouldn't be killed by the empire and he's worried transitioning would affect Mark's fertility/usefulness. Anyway I'm going to fucking Get Him with my bare hands. First human to beat the shit out of a viltrumite.)
But anyway trans Mark is also great cause it leaves sooo much angst open too, like if he's the one getting pregnant and not Eve the abortion plotline would prob be a miscarriage plotline (☹️) and it would lead to a role switch where Eve would be the main protecter for the Terra pregnancy (Likely due to overcompensating because Marks scared. Ughhhhh that makes me so sad to even think about.) I don't know this is probably way too long of a ramble ask I'm sorry Gator, you just inspire me so much and stufffff!!!! Have a great day :]
(We don't talk about Marky.)
Im a sucker for Trans Mark, and yeah that may just be me projecting onto my faves and comfort characters.
Though, I do think that Mark probably just never had much of a chest? Like, it was never very large, and when he gained his powers, his body was probably “oh, this is what we gotta do?” and started building a more masculine form and muscle. Cuz the mind is a powerful thing.
Maybe that's why he's never as big as the other viltrumites? If you put him beside any of the other known viltrumites, Mark always appears to be smaller and skinnier, so maybe that's why?
I do think that viltrumites don't really... care? About gender? At least not to the degree they do on earth. I've mentioned before that all they really care about is your ability to breed, if need be. So, Mark not getting bottom surgery means hes still useful in that regard.
Theres also the whole alien biology I headcanon with viltrumites. Damn, would Mark grow the male bits when he gets older cuz his body just goes “yeah we are male, so, here you go”, kinda like how T makes changes too.
Does this mean transfem Eve? T4T Mark and Eve? Sign me up immediately. Does Eve make testosterone for him, or does his body just start producing it when he's decided that's what is his “tip top shape”, if that makes sense?
I get so sad when I think about Marky bro... he didn't ask to be born, or to be left believing he was hated and born from hate, like, he kinda was, but that was also not his fault. But I also understand Mark wanting nothing to do with him for his own health. Still, I do wish I could give Marky a hug.
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im ngl i have never in my life seen someone genuinely think that gerard way is secretly a woman. most of the time i see gerard way gender discourse on my dash (or on the mcr tag) its literally just people getting mad because someone jokingly called them wife or something. like i dont think hed gaf guys😭
ALSO hot take but i feel like this happens in part bc some mcr fans project their gender struggles that are more in the transmasc or transneutral side of things onto gee (saying this as a transneutral person myself), & since they get uncomfortable being generally perceived as feminine they kind of assume its the same with gerard, when really its closer to the opposite (future ppl in the notes this is NOT me claiming that gee is a woman PLEASE have reading comprehension skills at least in this post).
like gerard themselves has mentioned a couple times how growing up he felt very disconnected from masculinity, that they relate to femininity & transness to a certain extent, and that mcr was a big part in really expressing their feminine side, so if anything bed be amused if ppl acknowledged that by making fuckass jokes on tumblr dot com.
i feel like its important to mention that while theres absolutely nothing wrong with feeling dysphoric about beibg perceived as feminine or with relating to gerard while being transmasc or transneutral, please dont start seeing anything feminine as bad, thats a slippery slope to fall in and you dont want to be spouting misogynistic/transmisogynistic shit. even if youre trans this can happen so please be extra careful when navigating your feelings regarding this & question why you feel that way.
still, to conclude this yap sesh, nobody is transvestigating gerard just cause they reblogged illi mcmillin fanart or talked about what gerard has said about gender. please chill out guys peace n love on planet earth
#yaps & bats#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#gerard mcr#gee way#trans#mini rant#rambles#yapping#please dont hate me
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Hey! Sorry in advance if this is word vomit-y and a mess im literally crying rn lol
Ok so i found u for ur trans riza art and at first i was like yo cool explicitly trans art! Then i went thru ur blog and found there was so much here and it made me so fucking happy. Like we (trans mascs) domt get as much representation so its really meaningful when u find it in the wild but then when its genuinely good A+ quality content too and theres just so much of it? Words cant describe how fucking happy and seen i felt.
Ive been following u for a while now and just like. Youre so inspiring to me? Like your art is goals its so fucking good, when i see your art it makes me want to draw and improve my own art. Your brainrot and like willingness to do your own thing in regards to trans riza and ur AU art is also just so inspiring to me. And like as a trans masc creator i guess its so inspiring to see you succeed if that makes sense.
As to why im crying rn, i just found ur trans riza comic and its Unlocking things in me its making me cry so hard rn dhddhddnbdjdbdfbnffb like it just makes me feel sm hope for my own future? And idk its just really nice to see such good content and representation that really understands and gets the "trans experience" if that makes sense. So like yeah dhdjdjf just thank you so much for being so inspiring to me and (others bc im sure its not just me that feels like this) and for sharing your art!
that's a very sweet message thank you !!! i'm glad my trans riza art resonates with you ^_^
though anon, i don't think we are "under represented" at all. maybe in big media? sure, idk, i don't pay attention tbh. but anon there are a lot of transmasc artists making transmasc art out there you just have to pay attention :] and i think this kind of art is better appreciated when you stop using words such as "content" and "representation" to describe art made by artists in the wild and save it for big tv shows lol. ofc i get the trans experience, i'm trans. but maybe my trans experience isn't the same as yours. who gets to decide if something so personal is bad or good content? or representation? i think by applying those standards you're only limiting yourself and others
of course, i know you only meant well with your message! but i took the opportunity to ramble about something i think about a lot <3 i'm honored you find my art inspiring bc i honestly mostly draw whatever i feel like drawing lol even though trans riza au isn't very deep or personal or anything, it's important to me so i draw it. i hope all of us can forever create more art about our experiences without worrying if it's good representation or whatnot because that's a silly word to describe the feelings of real people :]
#asked#just to be clear i'm talking exclusively about self expression#not an excuse to not include diversity in your work
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tryn save shoppers
greeting. althou this once prolific simpsons blog has laid dormant for many years. ive always keep the accont up.
im proud of this work.
i started this blog back in 2012 as a depressed stoner junglist as an afterwork hobbie. id get viloently high in my car on the way home. watch 2 or 3 epsiodes form the dvd id puchased at amoeba records over the years second hard. started with 6,
the infamous homer box.
then 5 4 2 6 71
i have seasons 1 - 8 in a little dvd case.
that case has been recovered but unfortunately disc rott is a thing.
i have been temped to start posting more but i feel more like lisa than i do bart. no its not a trans thing. i did at one point think to change the blog to trans n save. but thats nither here nor there.
what im saying is i love music. i love art. creativitly.
im not talking about the, for lack of a better term flanderization version of lisa you see today. but the younger sibling who looks out for their older sibling.
i may or may not be an uncle soon. but i have a feeling that is in the near fututure.
i woudlt like to wrap this message up by saying thank you to one individual person.
and indivdual who reached out and complemented my efforts. letting me know that i was her favorite blog. at the time my dreams were to write a book. make jungle music. and travel.
and
im going back to school to complete an english major (and finally rub it in my big. double major, sisters face) BUT more so to learn more about the english language. then eventually spanish.
i had a dream to start a south american eddition of thrasher magazine called thrasher so.
it would be spanish only. compl;etley differnt from gingo thrasher. but an underground look at the spanish undergroundskate scene
but skateboarders tend to be a very tough bunch. not to mention san fransisco is a spooky town with alot of history. you gotta watch what you say to who. cuz theres eyez everywhere.....
but again i realied that that may not be in the cards.
skate or die isnt a the best motto to live by all the time.
rave music can get complicated. when you grew up just standing near the djs memorized by what the djs were doing. it gets messy when illict substances can get involved. sometimes you can lose years of your life lost if your not carefull. worst you could... just straight up die from a bad pill. its scary.
thats when things got diffrent.
i remeber the first club expericnce seeing a dnb dj after 21 really opended my mind to what a dnb dj was.
it was goldie and it was at a bar on market street in sf that was no longer there. around 2011.
goldie steped up at 1130 and was suposed to stop at 2.
either he has that much clout or no one could stop the man but it was tune after tune . speakers on 11.
litterly.
i checked the miser after the gig and saw the master volume at 10. the mids and high and gain fully cranked and the bass eq in the middle.
thats what made me realize that music is meant to be played at a loud volume. if your in a residential neighborhood there alll gonna hear it.
330 in the morning the man is wrapping his set up with "timeless" and not a dry eye in the room. i walk up to goldie afterwards. complemented his sick custom adddias metalheadz jersey. and ask him as a joke , " what song is the metalheadz logo listen to"
music m8
i wouldnt be able to have pulled this mix off i realeased today if it wasnt for the encouragement of that individutal. im finally happy and free. and its because i worked hard and focused onj staying healthy. not just body but mind and sprit to.
thank you for every.
-L
ps thank you to all the other try nsave employes who contributed, this account wouldnt have been as popluar without your help,
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Good Pup, Bad Pup
Pairing: sub!Pero x gn!reader x sub!trans!Javi G
Words: 2.2 k
Rating: R (theres a lot of smut in this one. 18+ MDNI)
Summary: You give your subs exactly what they deserve.
Author: Mod Mouse
Warnings: Pup play, spankings, praise AND degradation, strap ons, dildos, Javi's genitalia is referred to as a T dick, pet names, and other debauchery.
Notes: I was so excited that I got to be a part of the Dom that Middle Aged Man challenge hosted by the lovely @wannab-urs . Really excited to write for characters I've never written for before. I hope you enjoy the indulgence.
A thwack echoed through the living room followed by a barely audible whimper. Pero had tested your nerve for the last time today, and he was being punished for it. With one hand, you tugged on the black leather collar adorning his neck, keeping his head pushed up, while the other hand was free to deliver the hits with reckless abandon. The slap of skin echoed through the room as Pero’s ass grew redder and redder with each spank.
You knew Pero was trying to keep the pain in, pretending that it didn’t faze him, but with every slap, you felt his head jerk. The person who was taking this punishment worse was Javi, obediently kneeling on the other side of the playroom. Watching the other pup getting punished was punishment for Javi, too which made you feel bad. He was too empathetic and kind for his own good, making him such a good pup most days. Javi so desperately wanted to join his play partner, but you had given him strict instructions to wait, and disobeying you was the last thing the pup wanted to do.
Pausing your punishment, absentmindedly rubbing the reddened skin, you glanced up at Javi. “Come here, sweet pup,” You purred, and Javi happily crawled up to you, ignoring Pero’s personal space. Pero growled a little, gently nipping at Javi, reminding him of where he stood in this dynamic. Javi was unphased since this was usual between them, but the action earned another slap to Pero’s ass.
“Hey watch yourself, mutt. You’re already in enough trouble. Now stay,” You command, giving his balls a light squeeze in warning. A sharp inhale followed by a relaxing body. You turned back to Javi, who was panting lightly, staring up at you with his big puppy dog eyes. Fingers lightly scratched under his chin sent his fluffy tail swinging from side to side, happy for the attention.
“Since you’ve been the sweetest of boys, how about you choose what toy you want Sir to pleasure you with?” Javi’s eyes widened in excitement. He barked in reply, hurrying to the toy chest. Carefully, he rummaged around the variety of devices, contemplating how he wanted to please his Sir.
You smiled as you watched Javi’s excitement. His joy was contagious and you always received secondhand happiness from his presence. But you had another pup to deal with. “As for you,” You said, turning your attention back to Pero. With strong hands, you positioned him back to the ground, making him kneel in between your legs. “You will watch from the cage. Bad boys don’t get to play with Sir.” Pero kneeled in front of you keeping his eyes on the ground defiantly. Your fingers threaded in the tangle of curls, tugging them with a little force as you made him gaze into your stare. Pero inhaled quickly, and you could feel his hardening cock twitch against your leg. A smirk formed on your lips.
“Such a little slut, huh. Cage now.” You released your grip on him and stood from the couch. Pero growled up at you but soon obeyed, slowly crawling in reluctant obedience to the metal cage in the corner lined with pillows and blankets so as to not hurt their knees. You trailed behind him watching as he settled himself into the spacious cage. You flipped the lock keeping him there.. Pero didn’t meet your eyes, his gaze stayed on the cage floor, but his fingers gripped the soft material.
A soft bark drew you away from the enclosure. You turned and smiled when you saw Javi happily holding the new strapon you had bought for the boys. Returning to the couch, you sat back down on the cushions with a smile. “I wondered if that was what you were gonna choose. Bring it here.”
With another happy bark, Javi crawled back over to you, slotting himself between your legs excitedly and dropped the toy in your lap. As of recent weeks, Javi had expressed interest in trying some of the bigger dildos in the local sex shop. Of course, you started small, training him slowly to acclimate to the different sizes. This one was his current favorite. A bright green silicone dildo with ridges down the sides. It wasn’t the longest dildo he’d played with but it was the thickest with ridges and bumps lining the sides.
“A perfect toy for my perfect boy,” You cooed, weaving your fingers in his curly brown hair and gently scratching your nails against his scalp. Javi panted under your attention, his tongue slightly rolling out of his mouth as he thrived under your praise. His body, unable to hide the happiness flowing through it, wiggled from excitement.
You giggled softly leaning over to plant a kiss on his head. “I know you're excited sweetie, but you have to get ready to play. Lean back for me and prep that sweet little hole for me.” You stood from your seat and patted the fabric next to you.
With an excited bark, Javi climbed on the couch lying against the well loved cushions. Just like the well trained pup he was, Javi slid a hand down his chest as he excitedly started toying with his T dick. A whine escaped his lips as his fingers circled the sensitive nub. You watched as his hole clenched from pleasure.
“Easy puppy, don’t want you cuming too soon,” You softly warned, giving his thighs a soft tap. “Finger yourself,” You softly commanded as you stepped into the straps of the harness, pulling the material over your bare thighs. Curiously, you glanced over at Pero. His gaze was still on the floor, but you didn’t miss the quick glances up when Javi moaned particularly loud. Pero’s eyes lingered on Javi’s hole, never admitting how much he loved licking his arousal. You smirked, but turned your attention back to the moaning sub.
Javi was already a dripping mess, his arousal already flowing onto the leather seats. It was a lewd view as his deft fingers eased themselves in and out of his hole. That was a sight you would never get over. And the sounds of squelching filled the small room as Javi picked up speed, his toes curling as the pleasure tightened in his gut. His gaze shot up to you as if remembering his place and he slowed down his thrusts, soft whimpers escaping his lips as he pulled his fingers from his hole, a long string of excitement trailing from his fingertips. After a few pants, he held his fingers up to you offering you a taste.
You moaned stroking the dildo between your fingers, feeling the power this toy gave you. Graciously, you lapped Javi’s arousal from his open hand, the musky taste filling your senses as you devoured his slick. “You taste divine as always my sweet pup. You are more than ready to take your Sir’s cock. Hands and knees,” You commanded and Javi quickly obeyed shifting so his ass presses against the silicone. Groaning at his action you ran the toy up and down his slit, Javi shivering in anticipation. The way his arousal coated the toy would give you something to daydream about for weeks.
You leaned over Javi’s back, caressing his heated skin with kisses as you pressed inside. The toy slid in with ease, filling Javi to the brim. The sounds Javi released were downright pornographic, and he grasped the leather cushion to ground himself against it.
You couldn’t wait any longer. With fast thrusts, you pushed the dildo in and out of Javi’s slick hole. Hot breath against Javi’s skin as the sounds of sex filled the room. Javi nuzzled his head into your cheek finding comfort in your touch. “Good boy,” You praised reassuring your sub. A soft whimper fell from Javi’s lips and his hips thrusted back meeting your pace.
Javi enjoyed every moment of your attention as he lost himself in the pleasure. You did too, taking as much pleasure from Javi’s pleasure. As you pounded into his hole setting a quick but powerful pace, Javi’s moans grew in volume, a clear sign of his orgasm quickly approaching. With a deft hand you slide your fingers in between his thighs and rubbed his dick between them, mimicking the pace he set earlier. Javi’s hips jumped at the sudden pleasure, but were quickly followed by the loudest moans.
“Cum for your Sir pup,” You moaned into his ear, quickening your thrusts in time with your toying. That was all Javi needed. With erratic thrusts of his hips, Javi came hard around your cock, an elongated moan accompanying it. His tired frame leaned against the arm of the sofa as he panted from the intense pleasure. You eased him down from his high with a few slower thrusts before pulling out completely. Gently you kissed down Javi’s spine before finally sitting up.
Only then did you hear the small whimpers. You turned to see if Javi was okay, but he was still in his blissed out state. That was when you turned your attention to the cage, and the sight made your heart clench. There was Pero pressed against the bars with the biggest puppy dog eyes. You could never stay mad at your pup despite the fact he disobeyed often.
You rose from your spot on the couch and crouched in front of the enclosure. Gently, you stuck your fingers through the spaces and scratched at Pero’s scalp. He was a subby mess nuzzling against your palm for any sort of attention.
You couldn’t help but coo at the sight of your strong pup being a puddle from your caresses. “What is it my sweet?”
Pero whimpered gazing up at you with his big brown eyes. He whimpered following the rules you had set up. You smiled. “You may speak.”
“I wanna play too,” He whined.
“Hmmm, well you did take your punishment well,” You considered, playfully tapping your finger against your chin. With a turn of your head you glanced back at Javi who was happily curled up on the couch watching the two of you. That popped an idea into your head.
Turning your attention back to Pero, you said. “How about you clean up your playmate? He made an awfully big mess.” You teased. Pero nodded his head enthusiastically, and you chuckled as you leaned over to unlock the cage door. Slowly, Pero crawled out of his enclosure and kneeled beside the couch. His eyes flashed between Javi’s blissed face and his dripping hole, hunger evident in his gaze.
Javi panted slightly and spread his legs for the other pup leaving his hole mere inches from his mouth. Pero glanced up at you, making sure this was okay. You smirked and with a gentle push of your hand, you pressed Pero’s face into Javi’s arousal. “Clean.” You simply commanded and Pero began to lap at Javi’s sensitive dick with neediness.
More sultry moans poured from Javi’s lips as his own fingers tangled in the mess of Pero’s locks. He used his head as leverage to rub his slick hole up and down Pero’s face. Pero loved every second as he cleaned his play partner of the previous arousal. Of course, more slick kept cuming as Javi’s second orgasm was rapidly approaching.
With a tug of Pero’s curls Javi pushed his face deep between his legs as his thighs clenched around his ears, pinning him there as he rode out his second high of the night. Javi shook with pleasure as Pero purred against his skin enjoying the rare roughness Javi gave him.
Javi uncleached himself, his body relaxing under the curtain of pleasure. You watched and Pero kissed the inside of Javi’s thigh, a rare softness he only saved for this private moments. You purred at the sight, enjoying the sight of you subs well fucked.
“Such handsome pups I have,” You praised as you brought a wet wipe across Javi’s skin.
Javi watched you as you cleaned him, a soft whimper as you delicately cleaned his sensitive dick. You smiled and kissed his forehead. “You both may speak now. We’ve finished the scene.”
“T-That was…” Javi started as a blush crept up his cheek.
“That was pretty good,” Pero humphed as he got up to join Javi on the couch.
You rolled your eyes as you threw away the wipe and grabbed the aftercare supplies (the softest blanket on the market and the shared water bottle.) “Oh come on, you love it Pero,” You teased gently and covered the pair with the material. Javi cuddled into Pero’s side and he rolled his eyes though his arm wrapped around his waist.
“Okay okay, I really fucking loved it. Are you two happy?” Pero scoffed looking away from the pair of you.
You crawled in beside Pero, gently kissing his cheek. “Very.” You purred and Pero blushed a brighter red. The two subs cuddled together as you turned on their favorite aftercare show. As the movie played on, the two of them fell asleep, Pero nuzzled into your chest and Javi’s head in Pero’s lap. As you watched their chests rise and fall with each breath, you smiled remembering how lucky you were to have such amazing boyfriends.
Credit to @inklore
All Works Taglist:
@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose
Pedro Characters Taglist:
@littlemisspascal @burntheedges
@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal
@morallyinept @lady-bess
@pedrostories @rivnedell
@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing
@jessthebaker @pedrit0-pascalit0
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