#this is about weimar girls

[contortedoptimist]

why is incelcore music good. is it the self awareness

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Emil Ferris’s long-awaited “My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book Two”

NEXT WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

Seven years ago, I was absolutely floored by My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, a wildly original, stunningly gorgeous, haunting and brilliant debut graphic novel from Emil Ferris. Every single thing about this book was amazing:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/06/20/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-a-haunting-diary-of-a-young-girl-as-a-dazzling-graphic-novel/

The more I found out about the book, the more amazed I became. I met Ferris at that summer's San Diego Comic Con, where I learned that she had drawn it over a while recovering from paralysis of her right – dominant – hand after a West Nile Virus infection. Each meticulously drawn and cross-hatched page had taken days of work with a pen duct-taped to her hand, a project of seven years.

The wild backstory of the book's creation was matched with a wild production story: first, Ferris's initial publisher bailed on her because the book was too long; then her new publisher's first shipment of the book was seized by the South Korean state bank, from the Panama Canal, when the shipper went bankrupt and its creditors held all its cargo to ransom.

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters told the story of Karen Reyes, a 10 year old, monster-obsessed queer girl in 1968 Chicago who lives with her working-class single mother and her older brother, Deeze, in an apartment house full of mysterious, haunted adults. There's the landlord – a gangster and his girlfriend – the one-eyed ventriloquist, and the beautiful Holocaust survivor and her jazz-drummer husband.

Karen narrates and draws the story, depicting herself as a werewolf in a detective's trenchcoat and fedora, as she tries to unravel the secrets kept by the grownups around her. Karen's life is filled with mysteries, from the identity of her father (her brother, a talented illustrator, has removed him from all the family photos and redrawn him as the Invisible Man) to the purpose of a mysterious locked door in the building's cellar.

But the most pressing mystery of all is the death of her upstairs neighbor, the beautiful Annika Silverberg, a troubled Holocaust survivor whose alleged suicide just doesn't add up, and Karen – who loved and worshiped Annika – is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Karen is tormented by the adults in her life keeping too much from her – and by their failure to shield her from life's hardest truths. The flip side of Karen's frustration with adult secrecy is her exposure to adult activity she's too young to understand. From Annika's cassette-taped oral history of her girlhood in an Weimar brothel and her escape from a Nazi concentration camp, to the sex workers she sees turning tricks in cars and alleys in her neighborhood, to the horrors of the Vietnam war, Karen's struggle to understand is characterized by too much information, and too little.

Ferris's storytelling style is dazzling, and it's matched and exceeded by her illustration style, which is grounded in the classic horror comics of the 1950s and 1960s. Characters in Karen's life – including Karen herself – are sometimes depicted in the EC horror style, and that same sinister darkness crowds around the edges of her depictions of real-world Chicago.

These monster-comic throwbacks are absolute catnip for me. I, too, was a monster-obsessed kid, and spent endless hours watching, drawing, and dreaming about this kind of monster.

But Ferris isn't just a monster-obsessive; she's also a formally trained fine artist, and she infuses her love of great painters into Deeze, Karen's womanizing petty criminal of an older brother. Deeze and Karen's visits to the Art Institute of Chicago are commemorated with loving recreations of famous paintings, which are skillfully connected to pulp monster art with a combination of Deeze's commentary and Ferris's meticulous pen-strokes.

Seven years ago, Book One of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters absolutely floored me, and I early anticipated Book Two, which was meant to conclude the story, picking up from Book One's cliff-hanger ending. Originally, that second volume was scheduled for just a few months after Book One's publication (the original manuscript for Book One ran to 700 pages, and the book had been chopped down for publication, with the intention of concluding the story in another volume).

But the book was mysteriously delayed, and then delayed again. Months stretched into years. Stranger rumors swirled about the second volume's status, compounded by the bizarre misfortunes that had befallen book one. Last winter, Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston published an article detailing a messy lawsuit between Ferris and her publishers, Fantagraphics:

https://bleedingcool.com/comics/fantagraphics-sued-emil-ferris-over-my-favorite-thing-is-monsters/

The filings in that case go some ways toward resolve the mystery of Book Two's delay, though the contradictory claims from Ferris and her publisher are harder to sort through than the mysteries at the heart of Monsters. The one sure thing is that writer and publisher eventually settled, paving the way for the publication of the very long-awaited Book Two:

https://www.fantagraphics.com/products/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-book-two

Book Two picks up from Book One's cliffhanger and then rockets forward. Everything brilliant about One is even better in Two – the illustrations more lush, the fine art analysis more pointed and brilliant, the storytelling more assured and propulsive, the shocks and violence more outrageous, the characters more lovable, complex and grotesque.

Everything about Two is more. The background radiation of the Vietnam War in One takes center stage with Deeze's machinations to beat the draft, and Deeze and Karen being ensnared in the Chicago Police Riots of '68. The allegories, analysis and reproductions of classical art get more pointed, grotesque and lavish. Annika's Nazi concentration camp horrors are more explicit and more explicitly connected to Karen's life. The queerness of the story takes center stage, both through Karen's first love and the introduction of a queer nightclub. The characters are more vivid, as is the racial injustice and the corruption of the adult world.

I've been staring at the spine of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book One on my bookshelf for seven years. Partly, that's because the book is such a gorgeous thing, truly one of the great publishing packages of the century. But mostly, it's because I couldn't let go of Ferris's story, her characters, and her stupendous art.

After seven years, it would have been hard for Book Two to live up to all that anticipation, but goddammit if Ferris didn't manage to meet and exceed everything I could have hoped for in a conclusion.

There's a lot of people on my Christmas list who'll be getting both volumes of Monsters this year – and that number will only go up if Fantagraphics does some kind of slipcased two-volume set.

In the meantime, we've got more Ferris to look forward to. Last April, she announced that she had sold a prequel to Monsters and a new standalone two-volume noir murder series to Pantheon Books:

https://twitter.com/likaluca/status/1648364225855733769

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/01/the-druid/#oh-my-papa

[3archangelsaints]

you said you were bored so i hope this idea gets rid of that

there are not enough childhood best friend!simon fic’s out there and i’ve been desperate lately. i don’t have much of an idea so write whatever comes to mind if you choose this req.

:)

Childhood bestfriends who met just before you went to secondary school, you went to an all girls school and he went to an all boys and yet you were always together, everyday after school, you'd be out late, avoiding your horrible home lives. He'd stay out late with you, when you'd had an argument that left you shaking and crying from anxiety and adrenaline. You never skipped school, your mum was strict about that and you'd preferred to not cause problems, Simon always said that to you, "Don't cause problems for yourself, yeah?" He holds you to him, kissing your temple. "You too, Si." You hug him, giggling as he lifts you up.

---

"Sit down." He huffs, pulling you onto the grass as the two of you study outside for GSCE mocks. Books and folders sprawled on the grass, and you stand up and start explaining the Weimar government to him for your GSCE history. He listens intently, he took the same GSCE's as you, except art, he wasn't good at that, he told you. He would stay up with you when you'd finish last minute art projects and when it came to portraits, you'd photograph Simon. He only allowed you to do it his eyes, the rest of his face covered by his hand. You loved studying, mainly because you were allowed to visit Simon's house, his dad begrudgingly allowing it. He didn't hit Simon when you were there. Simon didn't care though, his hands were always scabbed with broken skin from fighting with his dad, as he was about the same height as him, despite only being 16. You'd often fall asleep against Simon, his natural musk lulling you to sleep. You waited to open your results together. You ran to him when you saw him, jumping onto him, squealing with joy. He lifted you in air with ease. "Simon!" You squeal again. He puts you down, pressing his lips to your forehead. "Have you opened your results?" You shake your head, he can tell you're nervous, he takes it from you. "May I?" You nod. He opens it. Eyes scanning it. "So?" "So you're fuckin amazing and are so smart." He shows your results. You jump up with glee. He throws you in the air, before pretending to drop you just to hear you scream. "So fuckin' proud of you." "What'd you get?" You take it from him, he passed his core, everything he passed with average grades. Neither here nor there. "What're you gonna do?" "Butcher's apprentice." He says gruffly. You smile, nodding and hugging him. "You mean my butcher's apprentice." You tease. He nods, kissing your temple again. ---

He comes with you to see what 6th form you're going to, he drops you off the first day and does his best to be there for you whenever. He holds your hand and pressing kisses to your face as your freak out, chucking clothes from your wardrobe. "Simon!" You all but cry, trembling. "I don't know what to wear." You huff, he knows how you get social anxiety and he huffs before grabbing a black shirt you stole from him, and a pair of ripped loose jeans. "Here." He hands it to you, he grabs your brush whilst you get changed and brushes your hair gently, expertly starting from the ends. He grabs a scrunchie and ties your hair into a loose bun. ---

When you get your A-level results and find out that you got into your uni, you're ecstatic except you have to move cities and its so far from Simon. He cups your cheek and kisses you, "I'm joining the military." Your heart breaks, you didn't expect him to move with you, but not join the military. "You could die." Your voice trembles. ---

The goodbye is hard, you're babbling and crying as you see him leave for bootcamp, but when he visits you after, clearly bulkier, your heart aches for him. Once again you're in his embrace. His heartbeat against your ear. But just like that, he's gone again. And you move on, focus on yourself, you get your degree, then go for a master's in the states, before returning for your PhD in the UK. When you're leaving after a long day at university, walking to your car, you freak out when you see a bulky massive figure leaning against the hood. He calls out your name, in a deep voice. "Simon?" You ask, dropping to your knees. "I'm here Lovie." You sob. He gingerly picks you up, and just like that your Simon is in your arms again. Breathing. Alive. Living. "Don't leave me again." He nods. Kissing your cheek.

[quillandqueer]

Happy Pride Month! | Favourite Queer Books

The Most Dazzling Girl in Berlin: A novel in verse set during the Weimar Republic, this is a story set during a time that could have changed the course of Queer history, had it not been lost.

Stars, Hide Your Fires: This is a sapphic heist mystery set in space, very fun and very campy.

Bianca Torre Is Afraid of Everything: A non binary teen bird watcher with anxiety attempts to solve a murder mystery while falling in love with a girl in their birding group, while trying not to get murdered.

Burn: a speculative fiction story, set in an alternate America in the 50s, except there's dragons, a prophecy, and two FBI agents.

Loveless: The first book about aromantic, asexual identity I ever read, showing the confusion of finding yourself in the chaos of college perfectly.

The Black Flamingo: A novel in verse about a mixed-race gay teen, finding joy as a Drag artist.

This Poison Heart: A sapphic romance with plant magic, this has such a strong family bond that I loved.

Teach The Torches To Burn: A Romeo retelling where Romeo instead falls in love with Valentine. This is not a gender swapped Juliet - she makes an appearance in this story too, and there's a bit of a Found Family Vibe.

Milo and Marcos at the End of the World: the closer Milo and Marcos get, the more disasters seem to befall them. Is there a larger, unseen force at play, trying to keep them apart? And if so, is their love worth risking the end of the world?

[spot-the-antisemitism]

Not sure if you’re the person to ask this but, what are your thoughts on nosferatu? His look has become pretty iconic in vampire media (and SpongeBob) and I’ve been excited for the upcoming remake

But I can’t help but think about what definitely seem like antisemitic undertones, the large hooked nose and rattle design, the plot point of him apparently spreading a plague, and the fact it was made in Germany in 1922, yeah it’s kinda unfortunate how genuinely unique and creepy the original still looks, at least the remake will hopefully be further away from its origins.

Dear anon,

if you follow @spottheantisemitism you see my thoughts that Mother Gothel isn't a deliberate stereotype but going off ancient antisemitic coding that is so prevalent.

Dracula was written by self hating gay and eugenicist Abraham "Bram" Stoker whose Catholic christofascism, homophobia and xenophobia oozes off every page. The count is other, lizard like, he seduces good British christian women to debauchery and drives men to madness with his hypnosis (and his wealth). Dracula is the same fear of the hypnotic foreigner as the Beetle and Svengali but he's not codedly Arab or Jewish, respectively, he's just racially other. Is he Turkic? Is he Romanian? Not even Bram Stoker seems to know.

Stoker's main racism is the Lambrosian Eugenics that he's into and his idea that Romani would serve a vampire. Especially when Romanians actually tokenize local Romani seeing them as espeically attuned to Strigoi hunting (the Romanian folk spirits that inspired the Western ideas of Vampires). Dracula is described as the the quintessential criminal according to Lombroso but not neccesarily racialized in the way we currently understand Eugenics. The point isn;t that Dracula is codedly Jewish or Romani or whatever (he's not), the point is he's not Anglo-Saxon enough and that's bad.

But it was the Germans that took Dracula and gave him pointy ears and a hooked nose, because even in the philosemitic Weimar era, antisemitic caricatures were rampant. The eponymous character of "the golem" is made not throught kabbalalistic knowledge but by the rabbi making a deal with the devil and the both the golem and the rabbi's assistant lusting after a gentile girl is shown as monstrous.

I do wonder how the "it's all antisemitic coding" nuance averse tumbrines will deal with the "sunlight burns vampires" thing the movie added and try to tie to the "ashkenazi burn more than europeans" lie. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar guys.

I do hope the remake is good but it'll have the same othered man trying to seduce attractive white women thing and unless Del Toro is directing (he isn't) that's not going away no matter how you spin it. For better or for worse.

The guy who plays horror monsters as the count and all famous actors for the cast including Dafoe as the Van Helsing?

They filmed in Romania and the Czech Republic to get the Gothic real?

I'm cautiously optimistic

yours,

Cecil

[variousqueerthings]

Hiii! This question is kinda apropos of nothing but I’m curious: who is the person in your profile pic? Every time I scroll past it a little too fast I think it’s Alan Alda/Hawkeye haha

no worries (i think alan alda would be honoured, if i remember correctly, he mentioned meeting him once as a kid in his memoir). it's this fellow:

his name was conrad veidt, a famous german actor of the weimar republic, later escaped to britain and then the us to get away from the nazis with his jewish wife, Ilona Prager. he also starred in two pro-jewish films shortly after the nazis came to power in 1933 (the wandering jew, and jew süss, but i confess i haven't watched these yet, so i cannot say how well they aged) -- generally did a few films that were about Social Issues that came down on the side of the oppressed, including the woman's crusade, and the merry-go-round, as well as... (see below)

famous for some very important movies: 1. played the lead in the first movie to openly portray gay men (anders als die andern), which was produced by magnus hirschfeld and the institute of sexology in a bid to get support for legalising homosexuality -- it's free on youtube! also 105 years old, can you believe... 2. played the somnambulist in the cabinet of dr caligari, and generally was every vamp-girls/boys dream back in the day, playing in a lot of the german expressionist films and proto-horror films, and generally not afraid to play offbeat, uncomfortable roles that weren't about being an attractive leading man (eerie tales, the hands of orlac, waxworks, the man who laughs) 3. after he moved to the us, he was very happy to portray nazis to give them realism, and he plays major heinrich strasser in casablanca in 1942 (his second-last film)

i believe he was in a total of 115 films, but quite a few of them between when he started in 1917 and 1930 are lost (der januskopf, i think of you often....murnau, bela lugosi, and conrad veidt, in an adaptation of jekyll and hyde??? arghhh)

other fun facts, did occasionally crossdress and in fact this may have contributed a little to his first divorce, as his wife found him and a bunch of his friends wearing dresses one night after she came back from work -- notably conrad was in her new dress. she told a friend that this was the breaking point, but it may have partially been a joke. they did divorce though

was also at one point called the prettiest girl in berlin in print, good for him

was probably bisexual, although having said that i've actually never read why people think this -- so for now, he was a mensch and a great ally to a lot of people, a little on the queerer side in all things

i do follow a fair few conrad veidt blogs on here, but i don't talk about him often, it's one of those "am a fan, but keeping it mostly to the chest" kind of things with him -- however, as you can tell, very happy to give the Info when asked!

that's the man, the girl, the pretty boy: mr conrad veidt!

[queenlua]

amusing bits from Martin Luther: Renegade and Prophet so far:

* "What sparked [Luther's] anger, so he later reminisced, was the preaching of a Dominican friar, Johannes Tetzel, in the nearby town of Jüterborg, who went so far as to claim that his indulgences were so efficacious that even if a person had raped the Virgin Mary they would be assured complete remission from Purgatory." used car salesman-ass strategy lol

* "...the wealth of material that has survived on Luther is so great that we probably know more about his inner life than about that of any other sixteenth-century individual... His collected works, the famous Weimar Edition, extend to 120 volumes, including 11 volumes of letters and 6 volumes of his dinner-table conversations"

holy FUCK. truly a poaster before his time. like would the median tumblr blog fill 120 volumes jeez

* "In the early years of the Reformation, for example, [Luther] talked constantly of invidia, or envy, attributing it to his opponents—though it is hardly likely that they would have envied a penniless, powerless monk, while he, on the other hand, had every reason to be preoccupied with those he envied." lmao. mean girl who goes "they're just jealous" every time ppl hate on him

* "Extraordinarily, in an age when letters were routinely passed from person to person, were forged or intercepted, and when every chancellery filed drafts, Luther kept no copies. This gave his correspondents huge power, because they alone had records of what he had written, but Luther was relaxed about this, joking that he could always deny his own 'hand,' a remark that reveals his remarkable confidence."

i will have to look into this later but this is lowkey fascinating??? it hadn't occurred to me the 16th century world would've, like. written out copies of every damn thing. to support audit trails and such. just because the overhead of producing all those damn copies seems really high. suggests fun possibilities for intrigue and mailfraud shenanigans lol

* "It was popularly believed that when of the counts [in the town where Luther grew up] commissioned an altarpiece for the chapel depicting the Crucifixion, he had the thief on Christ's right painted as his most hated co-ruler

LMAOOOooo. also reminds me of the funny story that the tobacco magnate who funded the creation of Duke University Chapel asked that the stained glass depict the 12 desciples smoking cigarettes, and the dude had to be talked out of it... though i can't find any reference to the story on the internet, sadly. did the duke chapel tour guide MAKE UP LIES to me

* Luther grew up in a family that owned a mine & it's sort of hilarious how bad all these 1500s miners were at economics. they're like. running whole mining operations but with only the haziest idea of, like. where capital comes from. how to not resource trap your way into fuckedness. etc. i dunk on economists a lot but y'know there are some concepts here that actually were p worth formalizing

* our dude Luther was a fucking DRAMA QUEEN let me tell you:

"[Luther] joined the Augustinian order in Erfurt on July 17, 1505 [...] Luther sent his academic gown and ring home to Mansfeld, telling his parents he had drawn a line under this part of his life. He sold some of the fine legal textbooks his father had bought him and donated others to the monastery. Then he invited all his student comrades to a lavish meal, with music and entertainment. At the height of the party, he told his shocked companions of his decision to become a monk, announcing melodramatically, 'Today you see me and never again!' He then left for the monastery, accompanied by his sobbing companions." bet those dudes never forgot that party

* though Martin Luther's dad sure could match him for drama queen-ness (and apparently never stopped resenting Luther becoming a monk instead of a lawyer):

"At the ensuing feast to celebrate [Luther's first mass a priest], for which Luther's father, always the man for the grand gesture, had given the sum of twenty guilders, the breach was still evident. Luther asked whether his father now accepted his decision, and in front of everyone at the table, Hans Luder replied, 'Remember the fourth commandment, to obey father and mother.' 'What if it was an evil spirit' behind [the storm that convinced Martin to become a monk]? he asked. It was a very serious charge, made at a point where Luther had just acted as Christ's representative on earth for the first time."

* Luther was in one of the more hardcore monkish orders, and said order had a pretty rigorous schedule of prayers that involved waking up in the middle of the night... but apparently you could just pay other monks to pray for you if you just Didn't Feel Like Doing It one day? lmao. and in particular Luther did the strategy of "i'll just get them done ALL IN ONE DAY" instead of, like, doing them throughout the week (going without food or sleep, working that day & night to get them done)

* our dude could definitely be a poor lil meow meow / woobie if fandom got their hands on him. this boy is constantly having literal panic attacks about WHAT IF I MISINTERPRETED THIS PART OF SCRIPTURE AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL, when he's in Rome one of the things that bothers him the most (besides the famous indulgence thing) is the fact that they SPEEDRAN masses over there and he's like "oh no though, i spend SO MUCH time on the masses i run, i'm so afraid of doing it without true feeling... who are these speedrunning fucks with no respect goddamn," his confessor gets tired of him because he'll spend UP TO SIX HOURS AT CONFESSION agonizing over shit that doesn't matter... (this is part of the reason he went into academia, actually, his confessor was like "boy you have got way too much anxiety for the purely monastic life, go get a degree or something i stg")

* i do kinda love it when theologians get sexy with it:

"[Staupitz] wrote of different 'stages' of union of the soul, the first being that of 'young maids in faith,' the second that of the 'concubine,' the third, the 'queens': 'They are naked and copulate with the naked one. They taste that outside Christ there is nothing sweet and they enjoy [his] continuous sweetness. For the naked Christ cannot deny himself to those naked,' while in the fourth stage, which Mary alone experienced, Jesus 'sleeps naked with her naked and he shows other signs of such love.'"

[dustedmagazine]

Mope Grooves — Box of Dark Roses (12XU)

Box of Dark Roses presents the final 27 songs written, arranged and recorded by trans activist and musician stevie (Pohlman), a massive two-LP set that showcases her DIY art, passionate engagement and close links to other trans advocates, poets and revolutionaries.

Mope Grooves emerged in Portland, Oregon in the late teens, with a brash but vulnerable guitar rock sound and a message, from the beginning, about gender identity, inclusion and mental health. Their early albums, Joy and Vanished from 2017 and 2018 respectively, bristled with punk energy, with shouted anthems and loose-slung, infectious melodies. Dusted’s Jason Gioncontere called Desire, the band’s fourth album, “their most cohesive set yet,” late in 2019. And Portland’s Ben Parrish who caught them early and fell hard, wrote of an early show, “And Mope Grooves—Pohlman’s band—broke my brain. Imagine if somebody ran records by The Raincoats, The Clean, Beat Happening, Tyvek, and Marine Girls through a wood chipper and glued the pieces into a new super-record.”

Musically, Box of Dark Roses is more keyboard- and synthesizer-based than Mope Grooves’ earlier album, an uneasy sweetness percolating in its gentle melodies. The soft pretty songs are, in some ways, the most disturbing. “Forever Is a Long Time” pits tootling organ riffs against a sing-song melody, but sharpens the edge with rattling, off-kilter drumming. “Aileen” floats hauntingly graceful vocals over space-video-game pinging and rushing drums. “They’ll tell you you’re a criminal for paying them back in kind, but in the dark, in the wild, in the heart of the night, it is right to fight,” sings band member Lee. It’s a bracing sentiment in a song dedicated to Aileen Wuornos, a sex worker from Florida who killed seven of her clients, purportedly in self-defense. And “I’m Tired All the Time,” with its music box chimes, spiraling fiddle and slapping, just-behind-the-beat percussion, is a lullaby or a suicide note, depending on how you hear it.

Politics turn more explicit in the tracks with extensive spoken word incorporated. Marilyn Buck, the poet and May 19 Communist organization revolutionary best known for freeing Assata Shakur from the Clinton Correctional Facility for Women in New Jersey, speaks on a handful of cuts, including the opener “Controlled Burn” and “Here Comes the Moon.” The song “Continuity and Intensity,” tells the story of the Black Liberation Army’s Kuwasi Balagoon, who, when put on trial, declared, “We have a right to resist, to expropriate money and arms, to kill the enemy of our people, to bomb, and do whatever else aids us in winning, and we will win. The foundation of the revolution must rest on the bones of the oppressors.” The song “Dora” recites a detailed account of gender oppression in Weimar, Germany and the suppression of Magnus Hirschfeld’s Institute for Sexual Research.  The ratio of polemic to hook is pretty high on these tracks, but these were issues that mattered to stevie, and, as such, they belong here.

Box of Dark Roses was made near the end of stevie’s life (she killed herself in 2024), after a long struggle against gender dysphoria, physical and mental health issues, poverty and sporadic homelessness. In a lengthy, revealing essay included as liner notes, she writes, “I funded the recording process and the deposit on my surgeries by submitting my body to hyper-exploitation. I worked vanilla jobs 40-70 hours a week most of the time before relying increasingly on the informal economy. I was frequently in severe pain and losing work from chronic disabling illnesses that are aggravated by intense labor.”

And yet, though her suffering was real, she never lost sight of how much worse off others could be, particularly black and brown trans people. Before her death she stipulated that all profits from Box of Dark Roses should go to “gender marginalized survivors incarcerated as punishment for defending themselves, either directly to their fundraisers/commissary funds or thru the Survived and Punished NY mutual aid fund.”   This is a difficult, important record, a whole different experience from Mope Grooves’ earlier lo-fi garage albums, but well worth making time for.

Jennifer Kelly

[honouredsnakeprincess]

Things you should watch in the Autumn: A somewhat un-seasonal list by Alice

Majo No Tabitabi - This is a show about a witch who travels to various places and tries to avoid getting involved in the stories she encounters there. Don't watch this if sexual assault (mentioned) or gore (depicted) would be a problem for you, since episode 9 gets dark.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari - Do not watch the remake. Watch the original film from 1920. It's on youtube, and only a bit over an hour long. This is a film from the waning days of Weimar expressionism (and which was roundly denounced by many Weimar expressionists as inauthentic), with beautiful painted sets and a drama that, despite its simple structure, remains compelling over a century later.

Haibane Renmei - This show is about death, coping, and moving on. It came out the year I was born, and uses a muted colour palette to great effect in establishing its tone. It's a melancholy show about girls with wings living in an isolated rural community with strange rituals. It's beautiful, and it *feels* like autumn in a way nothing else on this list does, even though it isn't really an "autumn" show in the way something like Over the Garden Wall is. It leaves you with questions.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica - This one is kind of a religious text for some trans women. It's a story of love and tragedy between magical girls, and the movie Rebellion continues the story in a logical and yet controversial-at-the-time way. Another film has been announced recently, so this is a good time to get into Madoka, or rewatch it if you haven't seen it in a while.

So Ra No Wo To - Also sometimes written as Sora No Woto, and I'm told one or both is wrong. This is, like Haibane Renmei, in the genre of melancholy shows about girls living in rural communities, but with a bit less darkness and a bit more in the way of comedy, though it still knows when to be serious. Honestly, it's not as good as Haibane Renmei, so if you only watch one of the two, watch that. It was unfairly written off as a K-On clone when it first came out, however, and deserves more love than it gets. Noel Kannagi is autistic. It leaves you with questions, though not as many as Haibane Renmei does.

[rottingfacade]

Thinking about the cultural moment containing stuff like hippies in the 60s and the cultural moment with rock in the 80's and emos in the 2000s. all the flapper girls and swing music of prohibition and weimar 20's. You do kind of start to understand, right? living through it

[amtskind]

jerre's books 02

gerd schneider - kafkas puppe [kafka's doll] (2008)

"on an autumn day in 1923, a little girl sits on a bench in a berlin park with tears running down her cheeks. her doll has disappeared, she tells the darkly dressed, gaunt man who has noticed the little girl's quiet crying. and that man is none other than franz kafka, who, in order to comfort the girl, decides to send the doll on a journey.

from now on, the severely ill writer brings her a letter to the park every day, in which the doll tells of her adventures, seeming totally alive. an unusual friendship starts to form, while their difficult lifes, in a similarily difficult time, continue."

𓇢𓆸 background 𓇢𓆸

the author depicts the worrisome circumstances of the weimar republic and the last year of kafka, using his diaries and letters to family as sources, adding fiction where information is missing, especially regarding the girl who lost her doll, that he called "lena" in his novel.

dora dymant, kafka's partner at that time has stated (more about her in this post), that the incident with the little girl and the letters really happened, although neither the girl nor the letters could be found, despite many tries. perhaps there will be more investigation on that case in the future. on the other hand - it all could simply be fiction. more about the obstacles of the story in this german essay.

schneider offered a possible heartbreaking solution to the girl's absence in the end of the book. "the doll's letters" could have been in the pile of documents the gestapo confiscated from dymant's apartment in 1933. she hasn't requested them back after the war and died in 1952.

𓇢𓆸 review 𓇢𓆸

gerd schneider's writing style is light-hearted and takes the reader on a wholesome journey full of fantasy and feelings that range from lightness to eager compassion.

i have rarely encountered a book where the main protagonists were so endearing. the ending is emotionally challenging and leaves the reader thinking back to this story for a long time - whether it's based on real events or pure fiction.

"kafka's doll" is recommended not only to kafka enthusiasts, but also to those who enjoy beautiful language or simply a gripping story.

illustration credits: "kafka and the traveling doll" by jordi sierra i fabra (2006)

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (21-27 Jul 2024)

it is objectively 50% more hilarious when alex comes for someone's neck. them deciding to kick izzy's character when she was down was *chef's kiss*

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🙂 Look sometimes you just wanna spend a hot Sunday reading porny omegaverse crack. The heart (or whatever organ) wants what the heart wants. I went thru 3 Lacey Daize KU offerings (all novellas): Team's Omega (Gimme MMMMMore #1) [15K] & Neighbors' Omega (Gimme MMMMMore #2) [18K], both porny omegaverse poly crack and Breedable Boys from Outer Space [20K] which honestly? not enough breeding of Boys from Outer Space! like, girl, we're here for one thing!

🥰 (i'll keep) my tongue behind my teeth (greatunironic) - 40K steddie modern AU where they both move back to Hawkins for their 2nd acts in life - REALLY LOVED THIS - loved the backstories! loved the supporting characters esp Heather (hilarious). You can see the miscommunication/angst coming but it's so right for the character I wasn't mad about it! (miscommunication done badly is one of my personal bugbears). The reconciliation was equally believable. And the sex was super hot: visceral, wet, messy.

🥰 from love, obviously (bizarrestars) - 52K drarry - very funny, great characterizations, stayed up too late to finish which is always a compliment to a fic

😊 The Queen of Poisons (The Marlow Murder Club #3) (Robert Thorogood, author; Nicolette McKenzie, narrator) - still loving the characters - I am fully 75% of the way to becoming Judith tbh. didn't love the fatphobia element, even as the text made an attempt to rebuke it. like. just don't. but wasn't enough to spoil the experience entirely.

😍 I'll Light Your Way Home series (BeaArthurPendragon) - 61K, no powers Vietnam era au - just fucking love this series; both characterizations are incredible, their journey together is great -

💖💖 +174K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Frost Caught Fire On Our Lips (the1918, author; kocuria-arts (kocuria), artist) - MCU: stucky, 7K - short, hot, Bucky works at a diner, Steve comes thru on the regular

in the heat of the summer (you know that you should be my boy) (greatunironic) - Stranger Things: steddie, 17K - LOVED THIS - rockstar Eddie thirsts on main for Olympic swimmer Steve

the valentine experience (greatunironic) - Stranger Things: steddie, 15K - "In which Mike and Eddie have a bet, Steve is the victim of circumstance, and he's not super mad about it."

baby what's the scene? (carbonbased000) - Stranger Things: steddie, 8K - great fic! - "Horny in Indy. 5’11’’, long hair, tats, Top wants bottom, 20-30. Into athletic types, good boys, roleplay, bondage. Tell me your fantasies & let me hurt you just the way you like. Write to: Ed, Box #2177 . Or: Steve responds to a personal ad and has an extremely casual hook-up."

Savage God (LenneWithMilkAndHoney, PottersPink) - MCU: stucky, 36K - absolutely fantastic alt timeline AU where 2014 WS Bucky spends 3 days in 1936 with preserum Steve

Let Me Be Your Good Night (indelicate) - Stranger Things: steddie, 9K - "Or, Steve interrupts Eddie’s hookup and comforts him through a subdrop after. That's how it starts." (OMG they were ROOMMATES)

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Taskmaster - s12, e6-10; s13, e1-2

Make Some Noise - s3, e3

Dropout Presents: Bigger! With Brennan and Izzy

Thousandaires - s1, e5

D20: Never Stop Blowing Up - "Double Death Doggy Style" (s22, e5)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Ziggy Zany Yeah" (s17, e5)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

99% Invisible - The Power Broker #07: Sec. Pete Buttigieg

Overinvested - Ep. 302: AMC's Interview with the Vampire

Consider This - 'Twister,' 'Twisters' and the actual practice of storm chasing

You're Dead to Me - LGBTQ Life in Weimar Germany

Re: Dracula - July 22: Rough Weather

NPR's Book of the Day - Griffin Dunne's memoir chronicles fame, art and tragedy in his Hollywood upbringing

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Meet the Man Who Sets America’s Living Rooms on Fire

The Sporkful - Cookbooks That Need ‘The Grandma Disclaimer’ (Live)

Imaginary Worlds - Fantasy and Fascism & Fantasy and Fascism Part II: When Democracy Fails

Short Wave - Outer Space Changes You, Literally. Here's What It Does To The Human Body

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Three great karaoke songs

Switched on Pop - Is country the new hip hop?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Arrow Stork

Re: Dracula - July 24: There Will be Some Trouble

Vibe Check - Hold Onto Your Wigs

Short Wave - Dancing Yeti Crabs, Morphing Cuttlefish, Other Stories From The Deep Sea

⭐ Code Switch - The return of the U.S.'s oldest drag king

⭐ It's Been a Minute - 'Cats: The Jellicle Ball' gets 10s across the board

99% Invisible - The 2024 Olympics Spectacular

NPR's Book of the Day - Khushbu Shah's cookbook 'Amrikan' honors the Indian American diaspora

Pop Culture Happy Hour - In The Decameron, the Black Death makes for black comedy

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Our Lives Through Hollywood’s Eyes

Shedunnit - Christianna Brand's Impossible Crimes

You Are Good - Do the Right Thing w. Ify Nwadiwe

Our Opinions Are Correct - Dinosaurs and Furries, with Riley Black

Re: Dracula - July 26: Just Starting for Home

What Next: TBD - Is Silicon Valley Trump-Vance Country?

Dear Prudence - My Brother-In-Law’s Girlfriend Wore A Transparent Dress To My Wedding. Help!

Dear Prudence - Prudie Plus: I Came Home From Errands and My Fiance Got A Dog. Help!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Deadpool & Wolverine and what's making us happy

It's Been a Minute - Olympic hurdles for women athletes; plus, big trucks and big questions

Today, Explained - Breaking the Olympics

Endless Thread - The American Lean

Re: Dracula - July 27: No News

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Getting Hot in Herre

Re-Creative - Tanya Davis and Dirty Dancing

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Shaun Cassidy Radio • Upbeat

Soft Rock Ballads

Rob Zombie

Rock Sugar

Iron Maiden Radio • Popular • Familiar

Reinas

Old-School Reggaeton

The Go-Go's

The Donnas

[tehuti88-art]

7/5/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Hermine Cranz and Claudia Detzer.

Frau Cranz is Andreas Cranz's nervous, chronically ill mother; he takes a job as the commandant's chauffeur to provide for her care, yet also makes money eavesdropping on his passengers for the resistance. Frau Detzer is Trudi Detzer's mother; she's fiercely protective and supportive of her daughter, who is recruited as a double agent for the resistance. Both mothers wish their children had much less dangerous jobs but it is what it is. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

TUMBLR EDIT: Frau Cranz and Frau Detzer finally have first names! They didn't really need them (I've never given any to more important characters like Frau Bitterlich, or Schavitz...I wonder what Schavitz's name would be...?), but...well, here we are.

The rest of this entry will be written individually to avoid repetition.

I unfortunately don't have as much to share about Frau Detzer as about Frau Cranz, as she doesn't appear as much as the latter (who herself doesn't appear much). I can safely assume she's a rather progressive, forward-thinking sort, based on the life of her daughter Gertraud. Gertraud is born under the early Weimar Republic and given the name Gerwin...for Gerwin is a boy.

Frau Detzer loses her husband early on and so is left to raise Gerwin alone. A team of doctors confront her after the squalling infant is taken away. They have some...news to share with her. Gerwin is a boy, yes, born with external male genitalia...yet they've examined the baby, detecting some abnormalities, and they have their concerns. Frau Detzer demands to know what they're talking about. The doctors reply that they can't be absolutely certain until Gerwin is a little older...yet signs point toward him being intersex. "Intersex--?" Frau Detzer echoes, confused. "What does that mean? Is he healthy--? Is he going to live--?" Oh!--yes, yes!--the doctors reassure her--Gerwin is perfectly healthy, he'll live, don't worry. It's just that he has both male characteristics, and female characteristics. A hermaphrodite, if you will. Frau Detzer just stares. "Hermaphrodite," a doctor explains, "means both boy, and girl." Frau Detzer stares a moment more, then says, haltingly, "But...he's still my son...ja?" "Of course he is," the doctor says; "it's just that, at some future time...you may need to make some difficult decisions. As he gets older, it won't be so simple."

Frau Detzer is briefly silent, eyes growing glassy, before she takes a breath and replies, "Just as long as he's healthy and happy. That's all that matters."

She's allowed to take Gerwin home, though the doctors recommend a special clinic to take him to for periodic assessments and to keep track of his condition. As he gets older, they examine him further, and confirm the earlier suspicions that he possesses characteristics of both sexes. They caution that he may need surgery in the future, both to minimize the risk of potential disease or disorder, and to determine, for sure, whether this is the state he wishes to remain in. Frau Detzer is struck dumb at the thought that her son could become her...daughter? The doctor in charge of Gerwin's case assures her that such drastic action may not be necessary--Gerwin technically is a boy, there's no reason to think just yet that this might ever change--yet the possibility is there, so she should be ready for it. Frau Detzer does the only thing she can think of: finds all the books and medical journals on the subject that she can get her hands on, and starts reading. She does learn an awful lot--the clinic treating Gerwin is one of a kind, and at the forefront of such research--yet what she learns does little to allay her fears that she's in over her head. Still, she wants her son to have the best of everything, to be the happiest child he can be, so she tells herself to focus on that.

Gerwin grows into a sweet, well-behaved toddler, then a sweet, well-behaved boy. He enjoys walking around the city hand in hand with his mother, seeing the sights, ooh'ing and ahh'ing at the window displays, playing in the parks. Frau Detzer always watches him with a hawk's eye and a wistful half-smile. Wishing that his father were still there to see his son and feel as proud of him as she does. Gerwin smiles and waves--"Watch me, Mama!"--and splashes in the mud. Frau Detzer winces but smiles and waves back. She'll have to wash his clothes again but such is life as a parent, she supposes.

As they stroll along the sidewalk one day, Frau Detzer stops at a kiosk to buy a paper as Gerwin meanders around nearby peering in store windows. He bumps into something and jumps back just as the person he ran into turns and looks down at him. It's a woman chatting with her friends; she wears a long, sleek dress, a close-fitting cap with feathers, an elegant stole, and rings adorn her fingers. Most of all, Gerwin notices her shiny, bobbed hair, and her red red lipstick. Seeing him staring up at her with wide eyes, she smiles, red red lips parting to show white white teeth--"Ah, what a dear little child!"--and her voice is sweet and light like birds singing. Gerwin can't stop staring. Every inch of her is gorgeous.

"Gerwin--? Gerwin!" Frau Detzer, noticing he isn't beside her, briefly panics, then spots him staring at the lavishly dressed woman. Hurries to grasp his arm--"Gerwin, you gave me a scare!--I'm so sorry for him bothering you," she apologizes, but the elegant woman just waves a slender arm, smiling from ear to ear--"It's no bother at all, you have such a darling pretty child!"--and she even blows him a small kiss as Frau Detzer leads him away. Gerwin is uncharacteristically subdued the rest of the evening. Every shimmering, lovely aspect of the woman is burned in his brain. He can't stop thinking about her.

Frau Detzer preoccupies herself doing some chores the next day, then starts preparing lunch. Goes looking for Gerwin, who isn't to be seen anywhere on the lower level like usual. She thinks she hears movement in her room; puzzled, she peers inside, and spots Gerwin by the mirror. "Gerwin...?" she inquires; in response he whirls around, eyes big, smiling widely, and exclaims, "Look, Mama!" And yeah, Frau Detzer looks--she stares. Gerwin is draped in one of her own dresses, has one of her hats, and has her rouge on his cheeks and lipstick on his mouth. And he has the biggest, happiest smile.

Frau Detzer's heart skips a beat. "Gerwin!!" she exclaims in barely a whisper, rushes at him--his smile vanishes--and takes the lipstick and hat. "Come, get out of that, get out of that," she urges, pulling at the dress even as Gerwin protests, "But, Mama--!" "Go wash your face," she says, "time for lunch. Go on, go on now," and Gerwin turns and shuffles off to the bathroom, head down.

Frau Detzer tries to settle her nerves as she fixes their lunch. Gerwin appears, climbs up in his chair, peers at her as she sets down the food. He looks guilty but even more he looks sad. Frau Detzer hates that she made him feel that way.

Gerwin: "Mama...are you mad at me?"

Frau Detzer: *deep breath* "Nein, Liebe, I'm not mad at you. Just...worried."

Gerwin: "Why are you worried?"

Frau Detzer: "It's...hard to explain. Eat your lunch, Liebe."

*they eat in silence for a while*

Frau Detzer: "Gerwin...why did you dress yourself up like that? Have you done that before?"

Gerwin: "Nein. I just wanted to be pretty, like the lady said."

Frau Detzer: "But you're already a handsome little boy."

Gerwin: *protesting* "But I don't want to be a handsome little boy! I want to be pretty!" *looks at his clothes* "Why do you cut my hair so short and make me dress like this...?"

Frau Detzer: "Because this is how boys look, how they dress and wear their hair."

Gerwin: "But I don't want to look like a boy! I want to look like a girl!"

Frau Detzer's breath leaves her. Gerwin's eyes are so big and earnest, she knows he's speaking in all honesty, isn't just throwing a tantrum or saying something silly. "How long have you wanted this...?" she asks; "Since always," Gerwin says, and when she wonders why he never told her before, he furrows his brow and replies, "Because you never asked."

Frau Detzer returns to the clinic to consult the doctor, pours out her feelings and thoughts. She's conflicted and confused--she just wants her son--but also, she wants her son to be happy, and when he was wearing her dress and lipstick, he seemed happiest. The doctor says Gerwin is still too young to make such a decision on his own, but when he's a little older, the choice will be in his hands; Frau Detzer needs to mull it over, and have a good long talk with him. When the time comes, if he desires it, there are surgical options; until then, he can see what sort of life he wishes to live. Right now everything is up to Frau Detzer.

Frau Detzer sits Gerwin down and has a talk. When he's at school, he needs to dress like a boy, act like a boy. When he's at home, though, he can play with her dresses, try on her makeup, see how he feels. She hesitates briefly before opening a package she bought in the city. Within is a new dress, a little girl's size, with ribbons and stockings and shoes. Gerwin's eyes light up and his mouth opens wide. He hurries off with the package, returns shortly after, bows and laces clumsily tied, stockings already falling down--"Mama! Look at me, I'm pretty now!"--and spins in circles. "Mama!--teach me to put on makeup?--bitte, Mama?" he pleads, and Frau Detzer manages a small crooked smile, nodding, blinking to try to keep the tears from her eyes. He's so happy, spinning in circles and laughing, and she's so worried for him, how she'll keep him happy this way.

As time goes on it becomes painfully clear that Gerwin is pretty much decided on being a girl; he's quite unhappy having to dress and act as a boy in school, so Frau Detzer finally opts to have him tutored at home. He wears his dresses and makeup and grows his hair longer, and is happiest whenever he can be "pretty." He even develops small breasts, which embarrasses him at first, and concerns Frau Detzer, though the doctor explains that with Gerwin's particular intersex condition, gynecomastia is nothing to worry about. Gerwin starts wearing a brassiere, and his mood again improves. On followup visits to the clinic, they finally consult with the doctor about the best path forward. He outlines the options: Now that he's reached puberty, Gerwin will need a treatment for undescended testicles, to avoid future complications; and the doctor strongly recommends surgery to create a vaginal opening, as Gerwin possesses an enclosed vagina and partial uterus. As for his external genitalia, that's left up to him: Would he prefer it to be removed? Gerwin is nervous and undecided; "Mama...?" he says softly, "What should I do?" "It's up to you, Liebe," Frau Detzer murmurs, "whatever feels right." Gerwin ponders a moment, then asks, "If...if I keep it...I can still be pretty? I can still be a girl...?" "Of course," Frau Detzer reassures him, looking to the doctor; the doctor says he's had other patients who decided the same thing, and the process might be quicker this way, less invasive. It's recommended that Gerwin undergo the other procedure at age eighteen.

This doesn't go as planned. Frau Detzer and Gerwin haven't paid much attention to the new political party that took control, terminating the Weimar Republic and ushering in the Third Reich. They're shocked when the news spreads of the clinic being ransacked, the books and papers burned, and many of the staff arrested. It soon after shuts down. While still stunned and trying to figure out what's happening, the Detzers receive a visitor--the doctor in charge of Gerwin's case. Frau Detzer is so relieved to see he's alive and free that she hugs him, then peppers him with questions. Their alarm only grows when he describes the laws being passed against places like the clinic and people like Gerwin; he strongly advises them to leave the country. "Leave--?" Frau Detzer exclaims, "Where?--we have nowhere else to go." They decide to stay, though the doctor says Gerwin will have to remain as a girl now, and let no one know his secret, for their own safety. "There's no time left anymore to wait," he says, "I'm not sure how much longer I'll be around, so I wanted to make sure I've done all I can. If you're still willing, Gerwin, I'll do the surgery now, and I'll try to sort out how to move forward from there."

Gerwin looks numb with fear, but nods. The doctor names a time and place for them to show up, and leaves. They arrive at the location--an unassuming office in an easily missed building on a back street--and are getting ready to panic and bolt, when a nurse appears--they recognize her from the clinic--and ushers them toward the back. "I'm...I'm not so sure about this, Gerwin," Frau Detzer murmurs, when the nurse glances back and says with a small smile, "I couldn't help hearing. You're in excellent hands with the doctor. He helped me. Don't worry about these circumstances, he'll do the absolute best he can do for you."

The Detzers fill out forms, sign their names, are asked once more if they're fully willing to go through with the procedure. Gerwin is prepped, placed on a wheeled bed, and after a quick hug for his mother, taken away. Frau Detzer watches the medical team, scrubbed and ready, heading in; the lead doctor nods at her before they disappear. "It'll be a while," the nurse says, "sit and try to rest a bit." Frau Detzer obeys, though she can hardly think, she's so racked with fear. Wishes that Gerwin could have just been born a normal boy so neither of them would have to go through such terror. Then mentally berates herself--of course her Gerwin is normal--it's his circumstances that aren't, and that's not his fault. It's already late; she eventually dozes off. Day is just breaking through the windows when she feels her shoulder being shaken slightly, and jars awake from uneasy dreams. The nurse is leaning over her: "The doctor wants to speak with you," and behind her, she sees the doctor standing in the doorway, still in his scrubs. Frau Detzer sits up immediately, her insides in knots, and gets up to go to him. "Gerwin," she blurts out. "Is he--is he all right--?"

The doctor's expression tells her the answer, but--"She's fine," he says anyway, "come, come and talk to her," and he gestures for her to follow. Frau Detzer is let into Gerwin's room; he--she--is lying in the bed, blinking groggily. "Mama...?" she murmurs, and Frau Detzer places her hands on her cheeks, smooths her hair, kisses her forehead and coos. "My Gerwin," she says, trying not to cry, giving up and doing so anyway. "You're sure he's--she's--all right? It's all done?"

"There'll need to be some followup," the doctor says, "which will be tricky, considering, and not ideal; but we'll work it out." He says normally Gerwin would stay for at least a few days for supervision, yet it's too risky now; they'll give her a few more hours of rest before carefully moving her back to her home, where Frau Detzer can look after her, with a nurse stopping by to make sure all is progressing well. He briefly describes what sort of maintenance treatment may be required, if they can manage to work around the Reich's new policies--which have made this sort of treatment illegal--and then comes a question Frau Detzer hadn't expected: "By the way, you may wish to have a talk with your daughter, about what name she'd prefer to be called now. Obviously, 'Gerwin' will no longer suffice. Have you given it any thought...?" "Nein," Frau Detzer says, blinking, "I...I never even thought about that. He--she's just always been Gerwin to me." The doctor leaves to give them some time together, though Gerwin has no idea what name she'd like, either. The nurse appears and hands Frau Detzer a small book--"Here, I thought you might need this"--and Frau Detzer notices that it's a baby names book.

The two of them sit for a time browsing the names--Gerwin's head nodding and eyes drooping occasionally until she snaps awake--before finally she rubs her eyes and says, "None seem just right, how do I pick my name from a book...?" "Most names are never just right," Frau Detzer says, "people end up with unsuitable ones all the time." "Well...what were you going to name me?--if I'd been born a girl?" Gerwin asks, and Frau Detzer blinks, because it's the simplest answer she hadn't even considered. "Gertraud," she says; "we would have named you Gertraud."

"Gertraud," Gerwin muses, then, "Trudi." She peers at the ceiling a moment, then at her mother, and smiles. Frau Detzer knows that smile, and smiles back even though her eyes blur. Gerwin--Gertraud--yawns, so Frau Detzer murmurs, "You'll need your rest so we can get you back home...try to get some sleep now. I'll be right here when you wake." She kisses Gertraud's forehead, smooths her hair, watches her doze off. And believes she's never loved her child more than she does at that moment.

She informs the doctor of Gertraud's decision; "We'll need to write up some new records," he says to his team, and everyone sets to work; while the old file for Gerwin Detzer will still exist, they need a second record for Gertraud Detzer. The hurried process to create a daughter almost from scratch begins. Normally such a thing wouldn't be required, yet "Times have unfortunately changed, and we need to take precautions accordingly," the doctor advises. He promises the utmost discretion, but regretfully says he may not be able to see them again; he gives Frau Detzer all the information and resources he believes she'll need, the names of contacts and specialists who are still available and willing to help, tips for how to get the assistance she needs without alerting the authorities, and a heartfelt goodbye for Trudi--he clasps her hand between his own and wishes her luck--"You're a strong young lady, I fully believe you and your mother have everything you need to make this work," and he wishes them well, and retreats. After nightfall, the nurses help a wincing Trudi from her bed and into a wheelchair and then into a waiting car. The Detzers are driven home, and Trudi is helped back to her own bed. A medical assistant shakes Frau Detzer's hand--"Good luck, Frau Detzer, it's been our pleasure helping your daughter"--and once more, the two are left to navigate this uncertain new world on their own.

You can read more of Trudi's story, what she deals with during the war--including her icky relationship of convenience with SS Captain Erich Arzt, and how she cleverly turns this into a job as a double agent for the resistance Diamond Network--here: Trudi Detzer; Erich Arzt; Arno Spiegel.

Frau Detzer, of course, is aghast at learning what exactly Trudi ends up doing just to ensure their safety; even though Arzt keeps his promise to protect them from the rest of the SS and not reveal Trudi's secret, it's at a high price, and Frau Detzer can't help but feel guilty that she wasn't able to protect her better, herself. Trudi's insistence that she's made her own choice, and her mother has nothing to feel guilty about, doesn't do much to convince her, but there's little she can do. And then along comes Josef Diamant, who, in her eyes, isn't much better than Arzt: Both men want to utilize Trudi to achieve their own ends, even if for completely different reasons, and she resents this. The comparison isn't lost on Trudi, either; she comes right out and tells Gret Dannecker, who attempts to recruit her on Diamant's behalf, that she's being used as well, since this is just what men do. Gret agrees--like Trudi, she too dealt with sexual violence, from her stepfather--but she insists that, even if Diamant is merely using her, she chose to make herself useful. Trudi and Gret are on the same page; Trudi accepts the proposal to work for the Diamond Network, and along with Andreas Cranz serves as among their most successful civilian assets.

Cranz saves Trudi's skin more than once; she grows especially fond of him, as he treats her like an equal, calling her his Schwesterchen. Unlike with the other Diamond Network operatives, she never has any need to tell him about her past and he never feels any need to ask; it's just something that doesn't matter between them. The two are so close that when they meet again after the war, Frau Detzer briefly wonders if there's a little bit more to it...? Trudi's made it clear she's only interested in women, so no, there isn't anything more to it; yet she and Cranz look so happy to meet each other again, that Frau Detzer's disappointment melts and she can't help but smile a little. She notices the same look on the face of Cranz's mother and knows she's thinking the same thing. Their children's happiness is what matters most.

Cranz and Trudi head off arm in arm to catch up; after introducing themselves (and sighing wistfully over the dashed possibility of grandchildren), Frau Detzer and Frau Cranz do the same.

Please see also Hermine Cranz's entry.

[Claudia Detzer 2024 [‎Friday, ‎July ‎5, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:23 AM]]

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

The Magic Mousetrap

Synopsis

Switzerland, 1926: the Doctor finds himself halfway up an Alpine mountainside, on his way to an exclusive sanatorium for the rich and famous run by the Viennese alienist Ludovic "Ludo" Comfort. In between bouts of electric shock therapy, Ludo's patients — including faded music hall turn Harry Randall, chess grandmaster Swapnil Khan and Lola Luna, darling of the Weimar cabaret scene — fill their time with endless rounds of Snap!, among other diversions.

But the Doctor soon suspects that someone's playing an altogether more sinister game. Someone with a score to settle...

Propaganda

Great atmosphere and mystery. Probably its villain's best appearance, although saying who that is would be a spoiler. (anonymous)

The Company of Friends: Benny’s Story

Synopsis

Deep in the mines of Epsilon Minima, Professor Bernice Summerfield is up to her neck in it — as usual. The Countess Venhella has hired her to recover a lost Time Lord artefact: a TARDIS key, it turns out. Guess whose?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Company of Friends: Fitz’s Story

Synopsis

On the planet Entusso, the Doctor and Fitz Kreiner investigate Alien Defence Incorporated - your one-stop shop for protection against extraterrestrial invasion! But which is the greatest menace: the hideous Vermin Queens or ADI itself?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Company of Friends: Izzy’s Story

Synopsis

TARDIS travel opens one's eyes to a universe of possibilities, reckons the Doctor. For geek girl Izzy, it's also a fantastic way to track down ultra-rare back copies of Aggrotron!, the most dangerous comic in history...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Company of Friends: Mary’s Story

Synopsis

Switzerland, 1816: at the Villa Diodati, Lord Byron's house guests tell each other tales to curdle the blood and quicken the beatings of the heart. With a monster on the loose outside, young Mary Shelley isn't short of inspiration.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

A Death in the Family

Synopsis

"The future folds into the past. The homeless hero has fallen. Now begins the time of three tales: The Tale of the Herald. The Tale of the Hidden Woman. The Tale of the Final Speaker. When the last tale is told, all the lights shall fail. The world will end."

21st century London: Nobody No One, the extra-dimensional Word Lord, is again running amok. Only this time, he's unbeatable — and a terrible tragedy is about to unfold.

It is written.

Propaganda

Possibly the wildest and most wonderful plot of any audio, ever. The villain is none other than Nobody No-One, a Word Lord who has the power to rewrite the world using language itself. There’s wordplay, there are exploding duck ponds, there’s grief, there’s Ace being awesome, there’s Hex being sad, there’s the acceptance of one’s own inevitable death, there’s an infinite, living, eternal story where an entire planet’s dead go to live out their afterlife… The whole thing is a love letter to Doctor Who, and it’s as strange, sad, funny, and brilliant as the show gets. Also— spoilers!!— big spoilers— on top of all that, it’s Evelyn’s final story, and the final episode makes me weep every time. (@partiallithopseffect )

[cqcandchill]

the "i'm just a 30 yro teenager uwu" trend going on rn is so fking cringe and it makes me so unbelievably angry. can you stupid bitches grow up already and stop embarrassing me as a person who is regularly infantilized due to my height, voice, appearance, and the decision to be childless... i have not spent the last 10+ yrs of my life fighting for people to take me seriously as an intelligent human being for this tradwife ~i'm just a girl~ pilled absolute bullshit to set me back again

the way it feels like ppl just collectively gave up on progressive feminism compared to 10-15 yrs ago + the way gender essentialism is a canary in the coal mine for capital f Fascism has me so tired. i have read too many books about the collapse of the weimar republic to feel good and fine about this.

[silverfactory]

✨ autistic jack fairy headcanons ✨

1. i cannot express how much they loathe press conferences. all the cameras and nosy (rude) questions and managing many different interactions at once…. jack has literally just stood up and walked out of press conferences with no explanation before.

2. often nonverbal as a child, still sometimes nonverbal as an adult.

3. it’s rare, but if conditions are right they will talk your ear off about a handful of special interests. these include: historical fashion and jewelry and often how it intersects with queerness, weimar berlin, flowers esp orchids, gaelic folklore, bad horror movies, electronic instruments.

4. notoriously picky and private about eating (a combination of undiagnosed food intolerances and sensory sensitivities. just hot girl shit, u know how it is). stressed out by dinner dates.

5. highly empathetic, sometimes to a fault, but not emotionally expressive so can be read as cold. deeply believes in caring for and accepting others, even if it’s from afar.

6. all about little rituals (fairies always are), and gets prickly if these are disrupted.

7. stims with the rings on their fingers.

8. collects objects that have no inherent value but strong vibes and Connection. likes smooth shiny things in particular. ask them about their tiny glass bonsai trees sometime.