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feyascorner · 10 months ago

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So might have noticed i have read all your fics and I absolutely love them all!

If your open to taking this request for a fic, i would love like 4 times astarion was jealous and 1 time you were! (I dont know if your familiar with the prompt). Tav sleeping with someone before they get together (act 1) he’s catching feelings! After relationship is established: Act 2 Halsin showing his interest (whether its reciprocated is up to you!). Act3 Shar’s caress, the owner talking about Tav’s interest and drow twins!

Finally, Tav being jealous! Astarion fully enjoying it!

Or just anything with jealous astarion i would LIVE for! Love your work either way 😆

a/n. THEYRE SO CUTE IM IN TEARS I LOVE JEALOUS ASTARION/TAV

also this is not proofread unfortunately, and I'm not 100% if i did this right but we rock and roll!!!1

As much as Astarion boasts (and resents) his familiarity with seduction, you're an anomaly he's yet to understand despite his centuries of experience.

Never once in his courtship, even when he'd been alive, had he felt so tested that he was jealous, over someone. Not really, anyway. Sure there were bits of bitter feelings here and there, but most were trivial and about something involved in the relationship, not the person themselves.

He's counted four times since the two of you met, where he had to resort to his better judgment to avoid resorting to pettiness. The first one, was out of necessity--so much so that he didn't even realize what it was at first.

He had watched you snuggle up to Shadowheart of all people, just when he thought he'd finally manipulated enough to have you wrapped around his finger. Instead, he had to hear you laugh as you let the cleric lead you to a nearby lake, making him question if somehow, he'd gotten rusty. Especially when the rival in question was clearly too busy having a religious crisis to properly court you. Sure, you technically didn't belong to him, nor did he belong to you at the time, but he went to sleep feeling oddly irritated. He made sure to flirt with you even more, apparently, the next morning.

The second time, he had accepted the strange feeling in his chest whenever he saw you. And Gods he should have done it earlier. He made sure to show plenty of public affection, kissing your cheek or hand randomly as you and your companions explored the shadow-cursed lands. He got a mouthful from Lae'zel a few times, but he couldn't care less. And just when he believed he'd eliminated any potential rivals, the damned druid suggested that you had feelings for him. Here, he felt that same churning feeling he had weeks ago at camp, and found it was one that he didn't long for. He wouldn't have blamed you if you'd considered it--especially since the two of you stopped being physically intimate after his confession. But he could deny how much he hated this feeling. Pretending he hadn't heard, waited for you to approach him that night. When you reassured him you'd said no, he could breathe again.

The last time was weeks later, at Sharess' Caress, where the two of you were approached by the drow twins. And when he'd confessed he wasn't ready to become intimate again, as much as it scared him, you only smiled at him and nodded. That cursed warmth he felt from such a simple act of kindness would follow him to the end of his days. But he hadn't had enough time to revel in it, because the drow twins assured you only you would be enough, even if he wasn't a part of it. The moment you refused, he was already dragging you out of the room, cursing the twins under his breath.

But for the first time, he thinks you're the one experiencing that dreadful feeling of insecurity.

"Your measurements are perfect for this new selection that just came in! Here, let me just check if the rest would fit."

He'd thought little of the harmless touches of the tailor, but as he notices your expression through the reflection of one of the mirrors, he thinks differently. Your lips are pursed, eyes following the tailor's movements like a hawk as you tighten the arms crossed over your chest. Astarion himself is no stranger to touch, especially to innocent ones like this, but if your body language means anything, the sentiments are not mutual.

The tailor reaches up to measure his arm span, inevitably bring their face a little to close to his neck. He just tilts away, nodding mindlessly at what the tailor is saying, but his attention is fully on you. You're fidgeting, and your anxiousness is impossibly obvious to him, but the more mischievous part of him stops him from doing anything about it. Instead, he revels in it.

"Did you get my inside leg?" he asks the tailor, grinning widely. "I think you might have to redo it. I was leaning a bit."

The tailor agrees though all he sees is a nod of a head and a voice in his ear going right through the other. He observes as your face falls, and just as the tailor crouches down and leans close, you're immediately across the room at record-speed, hand latching over the tailor's wrist.

Astarion barely manages to hold in his laugh. His smile, however, is another story.

"I'll do it," you mumble to the tailor. They look to you and back up to Astarion before seemingly realizing what's going on, nodding.

"Very well."

He never thought you could look even more alluring than he already finds you, but the way your jaw clenches and your brows furrow makes him think otherwise. You lean down and take the measurements as needed, stomping on his foot in the process.

He snorts.

Once the tailor leaves for the stock room, he finds you sighing. "You did that on purpose."

It's not a question. He laughs, and while he could just apologize, he takes your hand in his, tilting your head with the other so you'd look at him. He might even consider the glare you give him as cute.

"Jealous, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I was starting to think you weren't capable of jealousy."

"Why not?" you say, feeling his thumb rubs the top of your hand. "I've been plenty jealous before."

At this, he raises a brow. "I'd surely remember that."

"When we first met," you recall. "You flirted with practically everyone in camp. Saying you wanted to drink from Wyll, or something like that."

"You must know that I was--"

"I know what it was," you roll your eyes. "Not at the time though, and I thought you'd lost interest in me."

His jaw falls agape. "You're jesting."

"Why do you think I started flirting with other people? I figured you didn't like me as much as I liked you, so I moved on. Tried, at least."

"Is that what your visits to Shadowheart were?"

You scrunch your nose. "Oh Gods, I forgot about that. I'd rather not remember sleeping with one of my closest friends, thanks."

He can't help the grin stretching on his lips, and you notice, feeling yourself smile with him. "You're enjoying this far too much, Astarion."

"Please, tell me the next time you're jealous, so I'll know to keep an eye on you."

"Don't ask such ridiculous things," you retort, feigning annoyance before lifting his palm to your cheek and pressing a kiss to it. He swears his undead heart might've felt it. And just like that, the tailor returns, and you drop your intertwined hands, and he sees you shoot him a warning glare.

Acknowledging he's had enough fun teasing you today, he shrugs, and when the tailor begins showing him an array of outfits, he's not listening. Instead, he toys with the ring behind his back, making sure to commit your expression to his memory.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion #bg3 x reader #fluff #bg3

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mumms-the-word · 6 months ago

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Illithid Souls - Part 3

The Case Studies: Karlach and Gale

Welcome to the third and final part of this wild deep dive rabbit hole monstrosity that is the three-part series about illithid souls and whether mind flayers, or specifically you as a mind flayer, have a soul.

If you read Part 1 and Part 2, then you know that yes, illithids have souls, they're just different souls that the gods don't recognize as souls because they're non-apostolic, or incapable of divine worship (as opposed to being apostolic like most humanoid souls). You now also know that you turning into a mind flayer is a bit of a special case because of the Netherese magic in the tadpoles, and this might be why you retain more of your soul than normal mind flayers would.

Also, a quick reminder of the two theories we're working with here: Theory 1 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer they essentially just die and their (apostolic) soul moves on to the Fugue Plane and the mind flayer body just gets a new illithid soul from somewhere. Theory 2 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer their soul is transformed and altered into an illithid soul, which remains tethered to the mind flayer body. BG3 seems to operate more on the Theory 2 side of things, but as we'll see with Karlach and Gale, it's more complicated than you think.

So let's deep dive, shall we?

The Case of Karlach

I'm going to be candid here and say that the mind flayer ending for Karlach makes me really sad, even knowing that there's a very high chance that her soul is mostly intact and she is mostly still Karlach. But there's no denying she's at least a little different, though the game tries to comfort us otherwise after she transforms.

Narrator: *She is transformed. Her body is no longer hers, but her eyes, her heart - she is still Karlach, for now. Only - there's a hunger in her eyes that wasn't there before.*

That "for now" is rather ominous, isn't it? But we have enough evidence from Tav/Durge/other Origins and Orpheus to suggest that the likelihood of her retaining her memories and her personality is very high. In fact, when you talk to her during the epilogue, she does seem mostly the same, though her language has mellowed out to a more formal tone and she speaks less colloquially (and swears less and less).

If you talk to her immediately after she transforms, she marvels that she's still "herself" but also "more," which again reinforces that we all get to be special mind flayers who don't completely lose our souls. But I think there are some interesting lines in this dialogue:

Karlach: This is wild. I'm myself but... but more. Player: I don't like the sound of that. Karlach: Don't worry, soldier. It's still your old pal under all this purple. But suddenly 'I' am different than I ever knew. And my engine, it's... it's... silent. No heat. No gears. Still there, but no longer threatening to explode. Soldier... Player: I guess turning into an illithid has its perks. Karlach: Here I thought I was making a sacrifice. Thank the gods I'm a noble fuck! Shit. I'm gonna be all right. I get to be alive. I get to stay. As a hideous monster, sure. But one that can feel. Think. Live. But I'm still myself. And I know what our mission is. I'm glad I get to the do the honours.

Karlach reiterates over and over that she's still herself, but you can literally hear the change in her voice. Where normally her tone and volume would be boisterous, loud, and energetic, she's now calm and mellow, even when she's swearing. Her tone here is more one of wonder. It isn't just the internal and external fires that have calmed down, her overall demeanor seems "cooler" too.

Also, in her romance ending just before the epilogue, where you're both in the Elfsong Tavern room, you can mention that she does seem a little altered.

Player: I still love you, Karlach. I still want to be with you. Karlach: I love you too. Before, that love was an irrepressible inferno. Now it is a calm, cool object of beauty. Player: I can see you're still yourself, but there's something else in there too. An illithid calm. Karlach: Maybe you're right. I feel less... changeable. Less afraid. I feel ready for whatever is to come.

It doesn't tell us much, but it does reinforce that when we or any of our companions turn into a mind flayer, we likely retain a lot of our former personality, but in a much more calm, even-keeled kind of way. Again going back to the idea that our soul is still there, still mostly the same, but has been made a bit more illithid.

What is more interesting for Karlach, specifically, is her discussion of her diet as a mind flayer. Remember what souls are allegedly made up of? Intelligence, personality, and what else?

Memories.

Karlach: For example, my favourite food used to be mutton chops. Do you know what it is now? Brains, soldier. Brains. Player: Comes with the illithid territory, I suppose. Karlach: True. But I've found ways to maintain my values while respecting that which I am - that which made it possible for me to live. I've made arrangements with a healer in the city. When a patient is beyond saving, but still able to speak for themselves, they're offered a choice. They can go as nature intends to take them. Or, when they're ready - when their goodbyes have been said, their affairs settled, and all that awaits them is pain - I relieve them. When I consume their brains, I am nourished by much more than the physical nutrition. Their memories - from birth to death - become part of me. I've lived hundreds of childhoods, first loves, marriages, feuds and friendships. I remember them all. And in this way, we all live on. Together.

There's so much to unpack here. One, she still remembers her values, even six months later, but is trying to negotiate her former humanoid values (and personality, I imagine) with her needs as a mind flayer. That seems very Karlach, through and through.

But then, when she consumes these dying patients' brains, she absorbs and retains their memories. I imagine their souls still go on to the Fugue Plane, because I highly doubt that mind flayers also consume souls when they eat brains, but it still leaves me with questions. Karlach isn't part of a hivemind, which normally circulates memories between each other, but she's becoming a similar kind of receptacle for memories, and only she is the one that contains them, rather than an entire hivemind.

I have to wonder how much something like constantly consuming and remembering memories that are not your own affects you as a person/creature. Does that eventually lead to a loss of self, as you begin to "live" multiple different lives? Or does it all count as mere knowledge?

In some ways this would put her in competition with any elder brains still out there, but she's also not collecting knowledge for the sake of knowledge. She's collecting memories and living them out in her mind, which is a certain kind of tragedy. She's literally living vicariously through these people because her mind flayer body is too scary to go out and about in, and she's making up for a decade of life she didn't get to live. She's alive, but she's not...living if that makes sense. And again...how long before all these memories start to change who she is?

(An aside. I really don’t think her eating brains and collecting memories keeps someone’s soul from moving on. If you use the spell Speak with Dead, you don’t call back an entire soul, but the corpse still has access to its memories. I think in this case, even though memories make up part of a soul, Karlach consuming brains and collecting memories is more like her downloading a copy of the memories for herself. The dead person likely still takes their own memories with them to the Fugue Plane, where they will be judged by Kelemvor or collected by their favorite deity. She’s just copy/pasting data, not transferring everything from one hard drive to another, if that analogy makes sense.)

This arrangement where Karlach consumes the brains of dying patients is expanded or clarified a bit if you're romancing her during the epilogue, and also includes a reference to souls as well.

Karlach: I can’t wait to say hello, but to be honest, I’m keen to visit the doctor before it gets too late. He said there’s a potential in his infirmary. A very old woman recently diagnosed with a wasting sickness. She seemed interested in what I have to offer. I’ll want to have a good long talk with her before we make an arrangement. Though if I’m being very selfish, I hope she’ll say yes. I’m absolutely famished - and think of all those memories. Player: Glad to hear. I was worried you were getting hungry. Karlach: I don’t hide it well, do I? Some things don’t change, even when everything else does. It’s funny. I’m hungry in my body, but in my soul too. That woman has lived a long life - births, deaths, love, misfortune. And if she agrees, I’ll be able to give her a dignified end, and remember it all in her honour.

Or if you go with a different option:

Player: I'm still not sure how I feel about this arrangement. Are you sure it's ethical to feed on the dying? Karlach: I'm sure of very little these days. But at least this way, I can live. And those who offer themselves to me can live on too. Births, first loves, marriages, losses - I remember them all and always will. Each memory I've consumed is of value.

It's just so interesting to me. One, her remark that she's eager to say hello but slightly more interested in chatting to a doctor about her next meal suggests that some elements of becoming a mind flayer are much harder to ignore. I imagine if she's hungry, she feels less like Karlach. (And I have thoughts, for another post, about whether she becomes "too fixated" on living when she's a mind flayer, given the cost of what it means to stay alive as a mind flayer.)

But she also says she's hungry in her soul. Her soul seems deeply interested in these memories, and I wonder if that's because memories are (or could be) part of souls themselves. Maybe the remark isn't really that deep, but she specifically connects the hunger of her soul to all the memories a long-lived woman will have. It's almost as if these memories nurture her soul, but it's unclear whether that is because it's somehow healing to see and "experience" life in ways she can't now that she's a mind flayer, or if it's because the memories have some kind of tangible effect on her soul/souls in general.

I suppose we won't know for sure. What we do know from Karlach's case, however, is that a great deal of the original soul (personality, memories, etc) seems to stick around even six months later, though there are noticeable changes in personality, such as an overall calm demeanor. There are also hints that consuming brains could lead to further changes down the road, but there's nothing really concrete. Just hints.

In the end, Karlach is still Karlach, and her soul still has plenty of elements of the original Karlach, even six months later. This is a good sign, but we can't completely ignore that her new body/mind as a mind flayer will necessarily mean some things have permanently changed. Whether you judge those changes as good or bad is up to you.

With that said, let's move on to the final and most mind-boggling case.

The Case of Gale

If you play a companion as an Origin run, the mind flayer decision typically works out the same way as Tav...unless you're playing as Gale. Gale gets some extra options at the end of the game.

This is mostly because Gale has perhaps the most apostolic soul that hangs in the balance, second only to Shadowheart, and her soul pendulum swings between Selûne and Shar. Gale, however, seems to be walking on a knife's edge trying to retain or earn back entry into Elysium, Mystra's domain in the Outer Planes. He's allegedly already been there, though not as a dead soul, so he knows what's at stake if his soul suddenly becomes non-apostolic or disappears.

In other words, Gale has a formerly Faithful apostolic soul, but he spends much of the game probably worried his soul will be judged as False when he dies (since he lost Mystra's favor) until Mystra offers her brand of forgiveness, which is essentially "if you sacrifice your own life, I'll let you into Elyisum again." It's a guarantee that he ends up in the afterlife he wants to be in. That's what Mystra's forgiveness really boils down to.

Now, this is a man who does not want to sacrifice his soul, and also (Netherese orb aside) does not want to die if his soul is going to be judged as False by Kelemvor rather than welcomed into Elysium as a Faithful soul. We know that Gale finds the Fugue Plane exceedingly depressing, so I can't imagine he has any desire to wander around it for any stretch of time, even if Mystra does eventually deign to invite him into Elysium. I'm sure the thought of becoming part of the Wall of the Faithless might as well be hell to him.

Gale: It’s a relief to be back in beautiful Faerûn. The dreariness of the Fugue Plane oppresses one’s soul so very quickly.

[mumm's note: yes my man died in service of a Tactician battle against Grym, but he got better]

It's a little surprising to see how adamantly Gale would prefer to choose the Netherese orb over letting himself or anyone he cares for become illithid. Look at some of what he says when he tries to offer the orb as an option for the final battle:

Gale: An easy proposition for the Emperor to make - 'become a mind flayer' - it has no soul to sacrifice. If it did - perhaps it would understand the weight of what it's asking of us. And why we might seek an alternative.

I couldn't get this next dialogue to trigger in my game, but in the same conversation as above you might potentially get the option to remind him about Mystra's offer to cure his orb condition, and even then he reminds you of the stakes that come with becoming a mind flayer.

Player: Mystra will cure you if we bring her the Crown of Karsus. You don't need to do this. Gale: To cure me of the orb, yes. But what of the guilt of allowing one of my friends to sacrifice their very soul and become illithid?

Now keep in mind, up to this point no one has shown any evidence that turning into a mind flayer won't actually mean the total destruction of one's soul. Up until now, the only evidence anyone has of an original soul remaining intact inside a mind flayer body is the Emperor (we have no frame of reference for who Omeluum was before he was a mind flayer), and most of the companions do not trust the Emperor one bit. So Gale genuinely thinks that becoming a mind flayer means your soul is either destroyed or changed so much that it's no longer you.

I mean, think about it. He's half expecting you to take the tadpole the Emperor offers and literally cease to exist. He's expecting to fight alongside a mind flayer who has, at best, your name and a few scraps of your memory, and at worst, no shred of you at all. Because again, up until this point in the game, none of them realize that they could become a special mind flayer who does actually retain most (if not all) of their soul, including their personality and memories.

Gale literally thinks that blowing up and going to the Fugue Plane is better than you or any companion becoming a mind flayer.

But that's in a companion run. Obviously, if you play him as an Origin, you can have him turn into a mind flayer as a different kind of ultimate sacrifice. The decision plays out the same as a Tav/Durge run or any other Origin run. But after the game ends, Gale gets unique dialogue if he (1) sacrifices himself or (2) does not sacrifice himself and goes to meet Mystra with the Crown in hand.

Any run of his sacrifice (aka, using the orb, regardless of whether or not he is illithid) results in Withers finding him in the Fugue Plane for a brief conversation. This conversation isn't much different if Gale is a mind flayer when he uses the orb, since all it does is add an extra option to their conversation that references being illithid ("One illithid for the whole of Faerûn seems like a fair trade to me," which replaces the option "One wizard for the whole of Faerûn...etc").

(An aside, I don't have an Origin Gale run so I can't test this, but I think if he ends his life on the docks as a mind flayer, the way Tav/Durge can with a knife got the stomach, then he just gets the usual Tav/Durge conversation with Withers about how his form has "something of the spirit" about him. See Part 2 if you're curious about that conversation.)

What this conversation with Withers reveals is how much control Mystra seems to have over his soul, especially if/when he's a mind flayer. If Gale decides to sacrifice himself using the Netherese Orb, Withers remarks about how surprising it is that Mystra hasn’t picked him up yet.

Withers: Who flickers there ‘twixt the shadows? Gale, who didst surrender his very self for the salvation of Faerûn. I feared I might not find thee here - that Mystra would have already plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate. But she may wait a while yet.

It’s a little unclear if Withers uses “plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate” to mean Gale gets to go to Elysium or something else, and it’s equally unclear whether Mystra waiting is a sign of displeasure or a sign that she is interested in sending Gale back to the Material Plane. She is capable of doing that, after all, and has frequently resurrected her Chosens, like Elminster, if it suits her.

But I highlight this conversation to show that you can get it as a mind flayer, and (if you are a mind flayer during this scene) that Mystra waiting isn't because he's a mind flayer and she can't find his soul. She waits for a minute regardless of whether he's illithid or not. But Withers is certain Mystra will be able to find Gale's soul, because he was able to find Gale's soul and recognize it as Gale.

So, not to harp on this again and again, but it's proof that turning into a mind flayer didn't destroy Gale's soul. It's still Gale's soul, even in the Fugue Plane, even if he's mind-flayer-shaped, and that soul is still capable of journeying to Elysium, should Mystra bother to find it wandering the Fugue Plane (or wherever he is).

But things are a little different if Gale decides to become a mind flayer and then goes to visit Mystra with the Crown of Karsus in hand. Keep in mind, Origin!Gale always has the option to face off against Mystra after the defeat of the Netherbrain, and this face-off is where he decides to hand over the Crown, become the god of ambition, or straight up try to fight Mystra.

However! If Gale is a mind flayer, he gets a secret fourth option.

If Gale goes to meet Mystra as an illithid with the Crown of Karsus and then gives up the Crown to her, Mystra offers to take Gale to Elysium with her. More than that, she offers to literally restore his humanity and cure him of illithidness.

Sort of.

Mystra: So, Gale of Waterdeep, you have become the inheritor of Karsus’ powers at last. What do you intend to do with them? Gale: I came to surrender them. The Crown, the Karsite Weave - take it all. Mystra: This offering cost you greatly. There is no hope in life as an illithid, devoid of soul and conscience. It is within my power to restore your soul, and your humanity, if you are willing to leave the mortal realms behind. Return with me, to Elysium.

No one else is offering this kind of deal to an Origin-turned-mind-flayer. Selûne and Shar don’t care if Shadowheart turns illithid, and Withers isn’t exactly offering to restore souls and humanity (or…mortalness?) to everyone else. This is a signifier of the sheer amount of power Mystra has, yes, but this also hints at some other things.

One, despite evidence of the contrary, Mystra is adamant that Gale-as-illithid is or would be “devoid of soul and conscience,” even though we know that that likely isn’t true (just see Karlach, Tav/Durge, etc). Perhaps Mystra is unaware that Gale is a Special Mind Flayer (seems unlikely), or perhaps she’s simply trying to convince Gale to come with her. After all, what she’s offering is still a kind of reward.

Then again, maybe Gale and/or Mystra fear the long-term effects of illithidness. Maybe over time he would become less and less like Gale, perhaps due to consuming memories, or other factors that come with being a mind flayer. Still, though, saying that his life would be "devoid of soul and conscience" seems like a massive stretch on Mystra's part.

But anyway, the reward for him turning into a mind flayer and giving her the Crown is a restoration of his humanity...but only in death.

Mystra: Return with me, to Elysium. Devnote: respectful - Gale sacrificed his humanity to achieve what she asked. If he’s willing to die on the mortal planes, she will restore his soul and body but in the heavens.

Now before I get to what happens if Gale agrees to this reward, I want to point out that Mystra herself sort of acknowledges that Gale isn't exactly devoid of soul and conscience if he refuses her offer. Here are some of the ways Gale can turn her down, with her answer to each option being the same:

Gale: [Option 1] Thank you, but no. I have someone waiting for me. Gale: [Option 2] Perhaps one day, but for now there is more I need to accomplish. Gale: [Option 3] Being an illithid has its advantages. I'm content as I am. Mystra: Then you are free to go with both my thanks and my promise - henceforth, your prayers will always be answered.

The whole idea of an apostolic soul is that it means the person is capable of worshipping a divine being, and this worship ncludes prayers. She might have said that him being illithid would mean he would be devoid of soul and conscience, but in nearly the same breath she promises to answer all his prayers. So she recognizes something of a soul within him. So why say he would be devoid of soul?

Of course, things get weird if Gale accepts her offer to be restored and go to Elyisum. If Gale agrees, then she fulfills her promise and even restores his place as one of her Chosen.

Gale: I crave nothing more. Take me to Elysium. Mystra: So be it. Gale of Waterdeep, Chosen of Mystra. Cinematic Tag: Mystra transforms Mindflayer Gale back to his human form (hollow) and grabs Gale’s hand. They return to Elysium.

This is wild to me. You see, originally when I started this project I thought I was going to be writing posts about how interesting it is that when you become a mind flayer, your soul is probably hanging out in the Fugue Plane or something, and eventually I’d suggest that Mystra is able to restore Gale’s soul to him because it’s already gone to her domain or she knows how to find it because he used to be so faithful to her. But none of that works now.

Because now I’m convinced that the Netherese tadpole changes everyone into a Special Mind Flayer whose soul is still present in their mind flayer bodies, just altered or transformed. So what’s up with this stuff from Mystra? She recognizes Gale as Gale even when he's a mind flayer and promises to answer his prayers, so clearly there's some kind of apostolic soul thing going on here. So why does she offer to "restore his soul," and also, why only in death?

She does say that she will restore Gale’s humanity, so now I assume that somehow her powers allow her to un-alter Gale’s soul so that it isn’t so illithid anymore. My idea is that she’s essentially restoring his soul to its former state and not, as we might otherwise infer, literally giving him his soul back, as if it were separate from his body. Gale’s soul is still in his mind flayer body, if all the rest of the evidence holds any water, so Mystra must have merely changed it back to the way it was.

quick picture break, this is from Northalix's video, linked below

Which makes me wonder, can a completely original, apostolic-type soul exist in an illithid body? Or does the body dictate that the soul must be somewhat illithid in order to be compatible?

Because the thing is, this deal comes with an ultimatum. She’s not going to let him go back to the mortal realms after she’s restored his soul. She probably could—she’s probably capable of doing that, if only by giving him a completely new body (she's done that before with Elminster). But she doesn’t. The cure comes with a cost. He only gets to be human again if he agrees to die completely and join her in Elysium. There is no undoing the illithid sacrifice, which seems more like a game limitation than a Mystra limitation (although we can certainly brainstorm reasons why Mystra would be so petty as to basically say "I can make you human again but only if you die completely.")

I want to point out that Mystra doesn't offer to let Gale come back to Elysium as a dead guy if he's not a mind flayer. Like, we don't get the sparkly ascension scene if he blows up with the Netherese orb, we get the Withers visit in the Fugue Plane. This Elysium offer is an illithid-only option. If he's not a mind flayer and he returns the Crown, she cures him of the Netherese Orb and sends him back. There's no option to join her in Elysium. Why is this an illithid-only option?

Also, just...I need you to watch the scene.

youtube

There's a lot that bothers me about this. One, the gestures she makes are the exact gestures God!Gale makes when he ascends Tav/Durge if they romanced him and agreed to become a god with him. Do with that what you will. But two...it just gives me the ick. This is a different kind of ascension for Gale. It's a restoration of his place in Elysium, but it ultimately means his premature death. If this is the route you take as him...it's hardly better than him sacrificing himself using the Netherese Orb without becoming a mind flayer. Only this time, we get to see the scene where he goes to Elysium, I guess.

It also massively complicates the whole idea that everyone gets to be a special mind flayer with a mostly-intact, mostly-apostolic soul. If the soul didn't change, why does Mystra need to "restore" it? And if it did change, why is Mystra the only one capable of un-changing it back to its original form (is it because he’s her Chosen and is/was so faithful)?And if such a thing is possible, why offer it and then say "but you're dead now"?

It seems as though her "fixing" Gale's soul was really just her...I don't know, separating it from his physical mind flayer body so the illithid anatomy wouldn't mess with it as much, and then dusting off his soul, which is now bodyless, and taking it with her to Elysium. I'm not saying that's what she did, but that's the weird vibes I get from this interaction. Like, there seems to be some kind of implication that you can't have a fully humanoid, apostolic soul housed within an illithid body. The soul has to be altered somehow to work with the illithid body.

So why not just give him a new body, Mystra??? Fix is soul and give him a new body! You’re absolutely capable of that!

I have so many questions.

Of course, keep in mind that Gale can reject her, obviously, and return to the mortal realms as a mind flayer. She does acknowledge that he has at least something of a soul that can pray to her so...I mean, there's that.

Anyways, what have we learned?

The Summary

With Karlach, we see that being a mind flayer does necessarily change parts of a person's personality (which, again, is part of their soul). Usually this results in a person seeming calmer, more mellow, less emotional than they normally would have been, but it does seem that for Tav/Durge, the companions, and Orpheus that turning into a mind flayer doesn't completely destroy their soul. It just seems to alter it a bit. In my opinion, the soul just becomes a tiny bit more illithid. Karlach’s case does leave us with questions about how “good” consuming and retaining so many memories might be in the long run, but as of six months post-ceremorphosis, she seems fine.

From Gale, we learn that apparently it's possible to restore or un-alter a partly-illithid soul so that it goes back to normal, but this power is extremely rare and likely relegated to the gods alone (or a particularly powerful Wish spell). We're also reminded that keeping recognizable parts of one's soul, like the personality and memories, is a huge surprise, because that's not how normal mind flayers work. We know this from Orpheus, but Gale just kinda reinforced it.

I guess we also learned that Mystra is a massive—but I should keep this civil. We all know what Mystra is.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that she's unwilling to accept Gale into her domain while he is still a mind flayer, even though his soul obviously would fit the bill based on what a soul is/does for the gods. He has a viable apostolic soul, it’s just mind-flayer-shaped!I'm sure Mystra thinks she's being magnanimous by offering him eternity as a human in Elysium, but I think it ultimately just shows how shallow she can be. Gale only gets to come back if he’s not mind flayer shaped.

And I think, deep down, Gale has always suspected that would be the case.

And on that familiar note, my friends, thank you for joining me on this excessively long deep dive into mind flayer souls and things we can learn from the game and the lore.

~*~*~

If you made it to the end, congrats! More gold stars for you!

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

If you read through all three parts and also made it to the end of this one, you are the real MVP and I wish I had stickers or achievements to give you so you can be like "I survived another three-part deep dive from mumm." But I don't even have a lousy T-Shirt to offer you.

You can have this random picture instead though :> it's my Tav Dani looking very unimpressed by the Emperor's offer of sexy times (sorry not sorry Empy, she's got a man and his name is Gale and she prefers him and all her friends to be tentacle-free)

Enjoy the lore and remember that it's all up to you to decide what you want to keep or reject! I'm just showing you what's out there!

Tags for those who wanted an update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #bg3 lore #bg3 deep dive #bg3 discourse #gale #gale dekarios #karlach #mind flayer #IT'S DONE #this is the wildest one I think and the one I wanted to write the most so #yay #why do I DO THIS to myself omg

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commander-rahrah · 7 months ago

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I'm excited to read it too! I'm glad you find it interesting! Don't worry about your post because long! Your thoughts are so interesting!

I agree that Astarion would have to come to terms with Reader/Tav's boundaries too since it works both ways! I definitely feel that Astarion would be too lost in drinking from the blood of a sentient creature to notice the signs.

He would feel ashamed when he's aware of their fear yet they still chose to offer despite that might made him feel like he manipulated them like Cazador did to him 😭

What his excuses are if they try to offer in the early days makes sense! He would be too ashamed & terrified to have such a vulnerable conversation with them yet 😞

He would feel safe enough to bring up their fear after he confessed about everything. He would make it clear to them he doesn't want them to suffer by making them do something they don't want to like he did especially after how much they have helped him & how important they are to him 😭

He would respect their decision if they said it's too much for them. He would support everyone's personal choices & autonomies even though the concept is still new to him 😤

He would need an explanation if they insist on feeding him regardless of their fear. They would explain that not only do they trust him, they love him more than they fear it 🥹

He would only accept if they establish some ground rules 👍 like he did when it comes to physical intimacy & sex which is healthy for both of them!

I know it's unrelated but thank you for adding this because you described me pretty well 🤣 I would definitely react to even the smallest of cuts so Astarion quickly but gently sucking it & giving a small kiss on it would be a fantastic distraction 😳

You're welcome! Thank YOU for entertaining me & sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you enjoy putting Astarion and Tav/Reader in all these different scenarios too 🤍

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD How would Astarion react to GN! Reader/Tav actually had suspicions that he's using them but still chose to believe that he's not. So when he confessed he manipulated them, they're even not angry at him.

They're sad for how much & how long he has suffered to be the way he is now, but they're also genuinely hurt that he did take advantage of their trust in him. They don't blame him but they admit it still hurts and wants some time alone to process it.

After leaving them be, they would go to him when they're ready to talk to him. They would tell him how grateful they are that he chose to come clean with them despite knowing how it would be easier for him to keep quiet for it, and thanked him for trusting them enough to be honest with them.

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Hi Anon! Sorry for the super late response, I let this one stew for a little while in my brain and the other night I had this dialogue idea and couldn’t resist writing a little scene about it tonight! I hope you enjoy ❤️

I envisioned this scene happens half way through his confession, and then imagined the rest of the conversation about intimacy and boundaries would happen afterwards! It’s about 1100 words, and canonical Astarion backstory warnings apply — trauma, dark thoughts, etc.

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

“I just — I feel awful." Astarion’s throat worked silently, his eyes glancing down to his boots. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan — seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me. It was easy — instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in." He finally looked up at your face, studying intensely for your reaction.

“I—oh,” You pulled your hand away from him as uncertainty flooded your features. He saw your eyes dart back and forth, but they weren’t studying him. No, you were lost in thought. “Oh.”

Astarion licked his lips, his hands ringing together in front of him nervously. “You have every right to be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I thought we… I don’t know what I thought.”

The rest of what he had planned to say vanished out of his mind. Instead it started to betray him, a cruel voice whispering about how he knew you would react like this. Did he really think it would go well?

His pink mouth hung open as he scrambled for what to say, trying to think of how to make this better. But he’d done enough already, hadn’t he?

You crossed your arms over your body, your cheeks flushing deeply. “I feel a bit like a fool. None of it was real, the whole time?”

“Not the whole time,” He confessed as soft, vulnerable moments with you flashed in his mind. The very moments that made him start to drop the act. “It hasn’t been as of late, but before… in the beginning, up until recently, yes.”

His red eyes followed your throat as it bobbed up and down before flicking back up to your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your mouth a sad pout.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Astarion whispered, not daring to move forward.

“I’m thinking… I need a moment.” You admitted, already looking behind you and away from him.

His heart sank, but he nodded. “I— okay. Of course.”

And then you were off, your head down as you stalked away from the edge of the beach and back to the warm glow of camp.

He stood there stunned for a moment, before turning around to stare at the dark, choppy waters in front of him. Hundreds of scenarios began to dance in his mind — what if you went back to the camp to tell the others? Would he be met by pointed blades and blazing spells? He imagined being kicked out, staked, cursed, roasted alive with fireballs. Hand delivered to Cazador as extra punishment for his sins. Anything his twisted broken mind could come up with played like a messed up vision.

Astarion didn’t even try to stop the repetitive dark thoughts. It was what he deserved.

Eventually, the vampire slinked back into the camp some time later — once the sky was inky black and the moon was the only light to illuminate the way back to his tent.

“Hi.”

The sound caused his ears and shoulders to perk up instantly. You were sat in the grass and dirt outside of his tent, your arms wrapped around your knees and pulled to your chest.

“Hi.” Gods, he sounded breathless. But he couldn’t see any weapons or angry barbarians or wizards nearby. That was a good sign, right?

“I wasn’t sure when you’d come back.”

He cocked a brow, “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

A sigh escaped your lips, “Astarion, don’t be dramatic. I asked for time to think — not for you to leave.”

He blinked at your sharp tone, but nodded his head in slight defeat. “You’re right. And you waited for me because—?”

You brushed off your clothes as you stood up to his height, “I would like to finish that conversation, if you’re ready.”

Well, there was no denying the inevitable.

He nodded his head solemnly, stepping forward to open the flap of his tent and inviting you in with a wave of his hand.

The privacy his tent offered was slight, but this late in the night he knew most of his companions would be fast asleep. Quickly lighting a lantern, he joined you on the fabric floor.

His half-dead heart was thundering, the thrumming sound echoing in his pointed ears that he almost missed your quiet voice.

“I understand.”

“What?” His brows furrowed, looking at you with confusion.

“The stories you’ve told me… your scars… I understand why you did it, why you felt the need to do it.” You explained, your voice and eyes tender as you looked at him in the low light. “But you manipulated me, Astarion. You took advantage of me, toyed with me and my emotions to get what you needed. That hurts.”

Astarion’s stomach twisted into a hard knot, “I know.”

“But you also didn’t need to tell me any of this. You could have kept pretending, kept up the charade until we faced Cazador… But you didn’t. Why?”

Now it felt like his stomach was crawling up his torso and into his throat. Gods, what was this feeling? Why did you do this to him. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before. I failed with my plan. It felt apart the moment I realized… that I had fallen for you.” He admitted, but his fluttering heart made more words stumble out of his mouth. “And I know you probably don’t believe me, why would you after everything I just told you. Trust me, nobody feels more stupid about it than I do.”

You cut off his rambling, “I don’t think it’s stupid. I think that’s probably the most honest you’ve been with me since I’ve met you,” You said earnestly. “It would have been a lot easier for you to keep on pretending, wouldn’t it? Pretend I’m just another mark, another means to an end to get through the day.”

“I don’t want easy… I don’t want to just get through the day. Not anymore.” Astarion whispered across the small tent, staring intently at you.

You cocked your head slightly in question, “And what do you want?”

“I want this, I want us — to be real. You deserve something real.”

“So do you, Astarion. You deserve something real.”

Your name escaped his lips as a choked sob as overwhelming wave of emotion settled over him. “I don’t even know what real looks like. How do I give that to you if I—?”

“Do you trust me?”

The vampire nodded through his tears, “Yes.”

“I trust you,” You said softly.

“After everything I’ve done?” He croaked, waving his hands dramatically, “You’d trust a monster—“

You grabbed onto his extended fingers gently, squeezing them. “Yes, even then.”

He looked down at your hands touching, before intertwining his pale fingers with yours carefully. “Maybe you are a fool.”

You let out a breathless laugh, the sound waking up something in him he’d long thought dead. “Maybe, I am. But you fell for me, so what does that make you?”

Astarion’s mouth twitched up until it matched your smile, “The luckiest vampire alive.”

#commander-rahrah answers #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfic #Astarion X reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x tav #astarion x gn!tav

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serahlink · 1 year ago

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🚨 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN🚨 tw // homeless / some med talk but not much

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Making a new post to hopefully get some work for my family and I so we have somewhere to stay for tonight, since work has been very slow lately. I'm Link, and I'm a 22-year old artist, and my family and I (me + my father and younger sibling) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story. TL;DR version is at the same time, while I was living with a friend and my dad + younger sibling was on the road (he drove a van at the time) he had gotten into a diabetic coma and was fired by his job. Being fired meant he or my sibling didn't exactly have a home to go back to, as our relatives on both sides refused to help. At the same time, I was going to have to find someplace else since my friends grandmother was entering the late stages of her life and they had to transfer her to the nursery, meaning there was a lot of things his family had to take care of and I couldn't be there. They allowed my father, sibling and I to stay there for two weeks to give us time to find someplace else.

While I was there, I'd been doing commissions to help their family out with food, and since it was either the streets or living under a roof; I told my friend to take us to a nearby motel since we had enough for a day, and we could figure things out from there. So since then, I've been keeping us here by doing commissions ever since. Either of us haven't been able to obtain a job yet due to how hard it is for us to get our documents to get an id (we dont have a car at the moment, and saving money for the room and food is already tough as is), but recently we think we might be able to get my father's ID so he can work, were waiting on his lung condition to recover fully and get money saved up for the documents and all that before we apply to get them. So hope isn't fully lost for us, we just need to take care of some things for a while longer until then.

Recently, things have gotten worse again. We were paying weekly thanks to the help from my followers and commissions I was getting, but when we weren't able to pay for another, we went back to paying daily again. And immediately we were set back. For the past few days, we haven't been able to pay for one let alone food. We were able to pay most of it to at least stay here, thanks to the kindness of the staff, but they called us earlier to tell us if we couldn't pay everything tonight, then we'd have to leave. We owe 120 by 11pm tonight, and I thought maybe making a new post might help us since posting on my other socials hasn't done much for us lately.

My commissions are open, and if you're interested in helping us out via a commission you can contact me through my Tumblr dms since it's the easiest way to get to me. But if you can't help financially, which I totally understand, I know the economy is tough on all of us right now, please don't feel bad or anything. Reblogs also help us a ton, and it always means a lot to us.

For the commission info itself, I have it all packed into this link right here, along with examples of my art and prices. I draw mainly fantasy pertaining to the Dragon Age Series and although I know little to nothing about Baulders Gate, I have done some art of tavs before! I also do DnD work as well, so I'm used to drawing pretty unique characters. I'll also put some examples I have below. If you want something outside of that, I'm sure I can provide, just let me know upon your request! And I think that's all. Much love to you and thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

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moyloi · 1 year ago

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I want MORE scenes with gale (Act 1 spoilers)

OK OK OK SO I am currently going through a playthrough romancing Gale and I have a few thoughts! Only gone through Act 1 so far and I'm on my way to the Creche, so things might change, but hear me out. (Act 1 spoilers (????))

With his romance I kind of wanted... more during act 1??? I know, I know.. Mystra and all that and maybe I've missed something but listen:

There's only two romantic scenes with him; - One with the weave - One during tiefling celebrations

and then there's nothing until act 2 apparently.

BUT what if he got TWO more flirtacious scenes as well?

NUMBERO UNO:

After him showing us the weave, there should be a scene where he is sitting infront of his tent, reading a book (like he's doing while idle, but this might be different book or not idk) and he is so inveloped in the book that he doesn't hear Tav approaching. Lines that Tav could be saying:

"What are you reading?"

2. "(Cough to make your presence known)"

3. Leave him to his book (end scene)

Or something similar.

He is a bit startled but goes on about telling you what kind of book he's reading and insinuates that you might not find it interesting. The two first lines are bringing the conversations forward, to his surprise:

" Sounds interesting, tell me more! / do go on!" (approval)

" Go on..." (approval)

"Those sort of books doesn't interest me" (disapproval, end conversation)

And your Tav sits down next to him while he rambles on and shows you the book if you picked either the first two lines.

Your Tav can ask questions for him to answer but there should be an option that says:

"Stay silent, let him continue"

He will eventually realise he is rambling and says:

"Ah, I do apologise. I must've rambled on about my interests about this book and I'm sorry if I bored you".

Tav could answer something like:

"No please, do continue. I find you ramblings quite amusing/cute." (Flirt)

"Don't worry. You're a good storyteller. Please, do go on." (Flirt)

"hmm? Oh, I must've dozed off" (disapproval, end scene)

AND IF YOU CHOOSE FLIRT-LINES, HE THEN GOES ON ABOUT THAT BOOK AND HIS INTERESTS AND THE NARRATOR COULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE: "And with you telling him to go on, Gale continues to talk about (whatever the book might be). You become more and more enveloped in his storytelling that none of you realise that night has turned to dawn, and a new day awaits."

Both of you could get a debuff, something like: Sleep deprived. -1 to saving throws (Until long rest) OR -1 to intellect and wisdom saving throws (Until long rest) HOW CUTE WOULDN'T THAT BE LIKE OMG

OKOKOK NUMBER TWO:

This happens after the celebrations with the tieflings. This can be a hidden scene that won't proc unless you actively talk to him before and after a long rest (Like with astarion and getting the sex scene before the party.. well he didn't have an exclamationmark above his head).

BUT

this scene is more guided towards the romatic, non-sexual part.

Here, it depends on if you are playing a Durge or an original Tav. Just a few or one line might be added or changed.

Gale will say something like:

"you know, I feel like I haven't gotten to know you properly."

And Tav can answer with:

"Oh? what would you like to know?"

"Well.. I don't remember much.." (This will be a coninuation and he will ask: well what do you remember? (Durge only))

"And there's a reason why." (Rejection, disapproval. End of conversation)

Gale could then be giving examples of Waterdeep, more about his life before the orb etc etc.)

Now

Your Tav can tell him about:

"A happy memory" (approval)

"A loving memory" (approval)

"A sad/somber memory" (approval, because your Tav trusts him enough to talk about sad shit (????))

"No... I don't need to tell you anything!" (disapproval, end of conversation)

He will repsond accordingly and THEN it will cut to your Tav and Gales faces being mere INCHES from each other.

If you have recruited Scratch, he will interrupt when they were about to kiss. While Scratch is barking after dropping a ball, wanting to play (or talking - Speak with animals activated) and is distractiv Tav, Gale can look at them lovingly, smiling. maybe laughing??

IF you haven't recruited Scratch before this scene, Gale will stop himself. Being hesitant but reassures that wants to kiss tav but he needs to sort himself out first (with the orb and stuff). and maybe Tav can kiss him on the forehead or something.

SO NO SMOOCHES BUT AT LEAST SOME RRRRRRRRROMANCE

Thanks for coming to my tedTalk.

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blackjackkent · 7 months ago

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Hey there! Hope you're well 💜🙂

I'd love to see this one from the cuddling prompt list for Astarion x Whoever you'd like if that's okay! No worries if not 💜

"The small inkling of panic that the other may leave when they shift positions and then the relief when that’s all it was."

(Cuddling prompt list)

Oooh. Interesting! I haven't done a ton of writing with Astarion. c: New challenge! (Full disclosure, I haven't finished his romance yet so this is a bit experimental. But I hope you like! :) )

Alexis is the Tav I have currently in progress for romancing him.

-----

Back in the Gate, in the gang hideout where Alexis spent most of her life, there were a number of stray cats that always seemed to be hanging around. Not surprising, Jax would always say. Place full of rats like us, ‘course the cats will show up. And everyone would laugh, because Jax was the sort of person who'd kick your teeth in if you didn't appreciate his humor.

Mostly the cats kept to themselves, but there was one, a scraggly little calico, who sometimes came and hung around Alexis's bunk. He'd sometimes curl up next to her side, or sprawl over her legs, but on very rare occasions, he'd climb up on her chest and settle himself in with his paws under him and purr.

It was cute as fuck and about the softest thing that ever tended to happen to her; the downside was it meant no more moving for the rest of the night. Once she stirred - to scratch her nose, to roll over, to take a piss - that cat was off like a shot, usually digging his claws in on the way out.

Cuddling with Astarion feels sort of like that.

“Comfortable?” she murmurs into his hair.

She feels his body shake slightly in her arms as he laughs. “You ask me that here, darling?” His face is muffled against her neck. He likes leaving it there when they end up curled up like this, his lips just brushing over the scars he’s left under her jaw. She hasn’t asked him why, but she suspects it makes him feel a little more in control. A reminder that she doesn’t own him when she holds him like this; that he could roll over, sink his fangs in, if he needed to.

But he never has. When he needs to pull away, she lets him go.

Sometimes she wants to pull away herself, really. This is all just as new to her. He’s not the only one testing out new freedom, “conveniently lost” and never going back, and there are nights when the love (might as well call it what it is, at least to herself) feels a little like panic. It’s the reason she always sleeps with her legs wrapped around one of his, one under and one over. Just like his mouth at her neck, it’s a combat move stripped of its intensity; if he tried to trap her, she could dig the lower boot into the ground for leverage, force him over onto his back, and run.

But she never has. When she needs to pull away, he lets her go, too.

She grins crookedly. “Yeah, I mean other than the, y’know, terrible shadowlands and the impending descent into some weird Sharran bullshit.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, the ambience definitely leaves something to be desired. The company, however…” He hesitates, his fingertips twitching slow circles along her hip. “The company is immaculate.”

“Flatterer.”

“No.” His tone is unusually serious. “I don’t have to do that anymore.”

She grunts. “Weird feeling?”

“Incomprehensibly.” He sighs. His breath is as cool as the rest of his body, a chill breeze over her pulse point. “Lying is easy, you know. You know,” he repeats with a dash of humor, acknowledging her own shadowy past. “It’s the saying things that are true that’s… disconcerting. But that’s what separates this from… all of it.”

She nods. “Keep telling me something true, then,” she says softly.

“Oh, no.” She can hear the smirk in his voice now. “I already told you you were immaculate. I believe it’s your turn.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fair is fair, darling. Can’t let your ego outstrip mine, you know.”

She turns her head so her lips just brush his ear, and she’s gratified to feel a soft shiver go through him. “You were the only thing that kept me from bailing on this whole fucking group, right from the beginning. No one else seemed to get it, how getting scooped up by that ship was the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to me, all at the same time. But you got it. You get it.”

“Yes.” His fingertips dig into her side sharply, just for a moment, then release.

“And then I couldn’t just leave you to deal with these lunatics all by yourself.”

“Implying you, of course, happen to be particularly sane.”

She snorts. “Wouldn’t go that far.” A pause. “Your turn. Something true.”

He goes still. Then his weight shifts backwards and for a moment a burst of regret goes through her. Too much, Lex… it felt too easy, for a moment there, and you pushed too much… He’ll clam up now, roll over and go quiet like he does when he feels like he’s losing control of the moment, or of himself. She doesn’t blame him for it, but she doesn’t want him to go…

But to her surprise, this time he doesn’t pull away. He just draws his head back so he can look into her eyes. She can barely see him in the dimness, though she knows he can see her clearly; those deep red eyes see everything, every moment.

“I’m scared, I think,” he admits softly.

“Yeah. Me too,” she answers.

A beat. His lips twitch. “We’re both, of course, talking about the Sharran temple. All that black marble. Terrifying.”

She grins. “Yeah. Of course we are.”

#bardic-inspo #ask meme #drabble #bg3 drabble #bg3 fic #astarion #bg3 astarion #alexis cartwright #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #bg3 fanfic #ty for the prompt!

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sky-kiss · 1 year ago

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hello <3 I’ve been lurking around the raphael tag little niche and I see that a fairly popular concept is tav/durge duchess (love the concept love the energy, very big fan of it in your fic as well) and I was wondering, since raphael struggles with sort of minimising how much his mortal side is perceived in favour of appearing as much as possible as a devil with a capital D (see his celebratory paintings being all about his devil form), whether that by itself would be a peculiar choice to take a mortal as a consort. or if you think he sort of did the math and went well tav/durge is a very effective asset he can keep close and its sort of worth it take the loss of sort exposing himself to other archdevils being judgemental over it (especially since the hells seem very much like a only devils can sit at the grown up table lmao)

/Stares at you. Sighs. Sips scotch/

So, I see. You're finally here to kill me, anon.

Alright. Let's get into it. If we're being entirely honest, I do not believe that Raphael would offer Tav/Durge a place as his consort. I genuinely don't. Especially not directly after they've given him the Crown. I've done it a few times recently, mostly because it's the only place to conveniently put it. And it works for short-form posts.

But if we are talking about genuine Raphael, it's my opinion that he would not offer. He may be fond of you, but his version of fondness would translate more to like...how fond you are of a good dog, or a subcontractor who put in great work. You aren't equals. "Friends," but not equals. Raphael's interest in Tav/Durge stems from what they can provide him. Once he has the Crown, he sees himself as having succeeded. You might meet for drinks like he's promised, but he has no reason to continue the relationship.

However, there is something to be said for an adventurer's soul. And Tav/Durge would be a massive catch further down the line. By the endgame, the TadFools are a bunch of freaks if we're power scaling. They're only level 12, but the games mechanics and the psycho gear they acquire allows them to punch well above their weight class. With their stat blocks, their party of four could probably fight Zariel. And on that note, because of game mechanics, Raphael could probably take Zariel (based on her 5E statblock) in a cage match, even without the Crown. He'd at least make it close. That's how powerful the crew is by the end. So, they would be a crazy powerful asset to acquire.

To the point of offering them the role of consort: no. I don't think he'd do it. Not right after the Crown, at least. And it's something I wish I'd made clearer in my long fic. I'd clarify it in a rewrite. Raphael never actually offers Joi/Durge the role of consort. Haarlep moves for her to be in that role. Haarlep informs Mephistopheles that she's his new consort. Meph is the first one to actually state it and does this in front of Dispater to discredit his son. Raphael then plays along with it in order to build his influence with the succubi/incubi. It's self-preservation, power, and arrogance that motivates the decision, not affection.

So uh...yeah. Sorry. I don't....I don't think he'd take Tav/Durge as his consort. Maybe after he's had his assbeat for a while? And they crusade and prove themselves to be incredibly useful?

But we lie to ourselves for fiction. Sorry for the longpost.

#asks #raphael x tav #bg3 raphael #bg3 spoilers #I'm so sorry this was so long #please dont revoke my shipping card

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bludermaus · 11 months ago

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Another Emperor Post for you all

First of all, just forgive me for not being good at elaboration my opinions, but here we go:

I think another reason people dislike The Emperor is because they have this incessant need to be friends with everybody if they're doing a "good run", and if you're not friendly to the player then you're deserving of no mercy, nuance and greyness be damned

We see that on how people shit on Wulbren. Like, I don't like the guy that much, but I can see the nuance of someone that was maybe a nice person and became so full of bitterness that they start lashing against others and going to extreme measures to do what they *think* is right. It's not elaborated why and we can speculate forever, but if you save Wulbren and Barcus is dead he's far far nicer to you, so people might be extra pissy about him just because Barcus is a sweetie, so by consequence Wulbren is the worst for not being nice to him

Another example is Lae'zel. I love her, but how many times have we seen people saying that they hate her or left her in the camp not bothering with learning about her because she's initially very standoffish? Just because she's not friendly enough, she's not hugging you from the get-go and saying niceties, not worshipping the ground you step on immediately? Sure, she can become friendly and even an actual friend to you later, but that's not supposed to be a requirement for someone to be liked

And then we have The Emperor. Manipulation and ommission of information is not a friendly thing to do, so automatically evil, how dare he! Except that... He's not your friend and he doesn't (initially) want to be, he's an ally by necessity (and let's be honest, every companion there is working together just by necessity. For example: Pre-tadpole Wyll and Astarion would probably have killed each other in different circumstances) and he's interested in your success in the mission, nothing more or less. And let's be honest, considering that he didn't even want to be in this situation in the first place, he's actually very friendly and nice to you, manipulations aside... Manipulations by the way to make you save the world/yourself, which you'd have wanted to do anyway he just helped point you in the right way and guide you to get there faster

But in the end you can genuinely have a friendship with him, it's just that people disregard his feelings because of some sort of idealized idea of friendship where you must be huggy huggy and message each other daily. I am great friends with someone with whom I haven't talked to in like 3-4 months... Does that mean we're not good friends? We don't message each other enough? To me The Emperor would be this kind of friend and that's okay, you'll visit him like once or twice a year, have some conversation and then leave, maybe write letters every now and then, you both value each other's life and that's it, friendship acquired

This accidentally became a post about how his feelings are genuine >:c He doesn't strike me as the "master manipulator" like haters make him out to be, The Emperor is a business nerd with zero social skills who needs therapy and my Tav can fix him, I sincerely believe that if you've been friendly to him the whole game he is genuine when at the end of the game he says he'll miss you... You're one of the only non-illithid to have not treated him like shit and didn't betray him and chose someone else's life over his when you had the chance, you accepted him for what he is and was nice/professional about it. And if you've become a Mind Flayer then obviously he's elated that he's gonna have a buddy to talk to, someone of his own new race who would understand him the best in a way others wouldn't

Okay rambling over, feel free to continue scrolling Tumblr uwu

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 the emperor #bg3 spoilers #bg3 discussion #bludermaus

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delta-lethonomia · 2 months ago

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Favorite snippet

To cheer myself up, here's my favorite snippet I wrote last chapter:

I love you, she thought, half-mad with pain and lust and love, and felt the words build in her torn, bleeding throat. I love you. They burned on her tongue, captured behind her teeth in a space to small to contain them; her mouth parted—and perhaps she mouthed something, or perhaps she didn’t, for another urge broke inside of her; and so Tav dropped to her knees, shaking, and gagged herself with his cock.

Like, ugh. I love it so much! That's some relatable fucking writing right there. Probably my favorite thing I've written recently. No one commented on it, but Tav finally acknowledging her feelings to herself, wanting to say it, and then immediately gagging herself on Astarion's dick herself lest any of it slip out? Ugh. Chef's kiss, man. I wanted to high five myself for that.

So in that vein, I'd like to propose a new little writing game: authors, post your favorite line or snippet you wrote recently, be it some funky wordplay or a pivotal scene that might not have gotten the attention you wanted it to. Leave yourself a comment! Talk about it! Let's celebrate ourselves in this lonesome hobby!

Authors, tag me - I want to see your work!

Paging @m3rricat and @xlucy-in-the-skyx if you're interested? I'd love to see what you're proud of ❤️ Anyone at all, feel free to celebrate yourselves and tag me so I'll see it!

#delta.txt #favorite snippet #writing thoughts

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cringemomma · 3 months ago

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𝖆𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞

imagine our party entering the Baldurs Gate with all the honors for saving everyone from the shadow curse only to find out that not only civilians were happy to welcome them…

astarion+fem!tav; mature;

“you know, i lived two centuries in this city and i'd never seen those streets in the daylight before. drunk young patriars, naked in the fountains… ah, civilization!.. glad to know that this city can still surprise me!” — you squeezed his hand in reassurance. — “makes me feel agog once again.”

“it's when you use words like 'agog' that I remember you're actually two centuries old.”

“and it's when you think 'agog' is an impressive word that i remember you're just a child.”

“cut it, boys, just look around instead! news really does travel fast nowadays”, — you smirked while looking at all those pomposity that was waiting for you all on your way towards the castle.

the wandering musicians accompanied the newly arrived heroes with a cheerful music, the locals sprinkled you with confetti, flowers and words of thanks, and the street traders were luring the party to their shops offering you generous discounts.

“yeah…”, - the idea of upcoming meeting with his father after all those years was not a delight to warlock’s mind, obviously.

“don’t dwell on past grievances, Wyll. it’s all water under the bridge now! give your ol’man a chance.”

“thanks, Tav, though i doubt he will grant me with one.”

———————————————————————

despite Wyll’s negative predictions, the welcome was truly warm. everyone was having fun whether dancing, drinking or just enjoying small casual talks — all the pros of civilized community. well, almost everyone: poor Halsin was obviously going through his personal hell as he was made to wear gala doublet and tight closed shoes. what a view!

once you were sure that family reunion went smooth, you made your way towards your beloved fanged man, who was waiting for you, passionately observing your figure from a shadow not far from the fourchette table.

“ah, you got me, playing a poster boy has it’s advantages.” — murmured the vampire swirling some fine wine in the glass.

“why am i not surprised to find you exactly nearby the bar?”

“huh, where else i might be?” — as if illustrating his own words, Astarion made a couple of slow tasteful sips of thick burgundy liquid.

“yeah, well, but why it looks like you’re hiding? kind of… cmon, it’s a ball in our honor! i thought you’d be in the center of the hall shocking these noble snowflakes with explicit details of our journey.”

“oh, Tav, darling, don’t get me wrong, i’d be more than happy to do so… but, alas, i’m afraid i am not the only one with such — let it say — vast biography here, thus there might occur some sort of conflict of interests.”

“er…”, — as if you were a dog, you tilted your head on the side not getting what he was implying there.

“ugh, Tav, don’t make me remind you of the things i used to do for that Szarr’s offspring, would you? the thought of coming face to face with a kid that i made an orphan or an old lady that i made a widow way too early makes me sense this disgusting, gut wrenching feeling…” — he paused, not finishing the sentence.

“yeah, guilt, i got you.”

“wonderful, thanks a million for humiliating me with this pitiful word.” — Astarion frowned.

a small smile appeared on your lips.

“lets forget about everything for tonight, what do you think?” — gentle touch of your tender palm has granted the cold spawn’s cheek with some reassuring warmth. — “we’ve got so far and stayed alive not to be bothered by the ghosts of the past. well, we, for sure, can have at least a night for ourselves!

it took you a few more minutes to persuade your capricious white-haired vampire to make a step on the dance floor. and just in time: the orchestra changed the rhythm to a more melodic, signaling to all the gentlemen that it is time for a slow dance.

Astarion’s cold hand found its place on your waist and as the music started flowing throughout the ballroom hall, you — the sweet couple itself — began moving in unison with others.

————————————————————————

“i knew it was a bad idea, Tav…” — his red eyes were nervously wandering among the crowd of staring people.

and he was 100% sure he was the object of their “close attention”.

but you had just rolled your eyes.

“Selune forgive me… i swear to god, Astarion, if you spoil our first presentable dance in a fucking castle, the staring crowd would be your least problem.” — you hissed at him. — “you’re exaggerating, none is paying us extra attention.”

“but…”

“shush!” — you stopped him. — “if you allow me to have one more dance, we will go downstairs and…” — the rest of that amorous ultimatum was cowered with ballroom’s noise, but the sparkle in Astarion’s eyes made it obvious: he found that deal quite fair and worth his public suffering.

and as it was promised, in a few minutes you both were already running down the hall’s stairs, hiding from the servants’ curious eyes in the closest niches, until you came across the dark corridor.

completely without candles and any other form of magical light (just a few moonbeams that found their way trough the boarded up shutters), dust-covered furniture and paintings and the slightest bit of smell of damp — a perfectly abandoned corner for just two of you.

laughing innocently, you wandered down that corridor, marking every corner with passionate open-mouthed kisses, until you stumbled over a nightstand of perfect height and then…

his strong pale arms were shamelessly groping on every plush part of your body, erupting waves of goosebumps all over your skin. never have you ever thought that such cold hands could make you feel that hot.

his lips never completely left your body, if only just making short breaks to whisper (or better say, to moan in despair) some sort of explicit sweet nothings right to your ear. and not forgetting to bite on the earlobe in between, of course.

so now you were seated on that, you hoped, solid nightstand, Astarion standing with his knee between you thighs just right so that your core was granted with so wanted friction; his fists full of your hair and your hopeless moans while you were gridding on his hip and undoing his coat.

and then he pulled you up, connecting your lips and tongues, kissing so hard as if it was the last time.

“pardon, Mademoiselle, i just thought you’d boil my knee with that heat of yours” — half moaned and half groaned the pale elf, painting a hot line with his tongue from your collarbone till your cheek. — “but i have something else you can warm up instead~” — and with those words you felt the hem of your dress lifting up, exposing your left thigh to cool humid air.

you prepared yourself to stand firmly, having vampire’s shoulders as your support. his cold elegant fingers were grasping skin of your inner thigh, you already bit your lip in anticipation, a few inches further and you would feel him touch that hot spot, relieving the built up tension in your lower stomach…

…when suddenly you hear a door slam shut.

you both jumped a bit, turning your heads towards the noise.

the sound of slamming was echoing through the empty corridor.

no other noises.

“maybe just a butler?..” — you whispered, holding on the man’s shoulders even tighter.

Astarion put you down on the floor, adjusting your dress.

you tried to make your messy hair look presentable as if nothing improper ever happened.

the pale elf made an effort to get at least a glimpse of silhouette, but the darkness was greater than his elven vision.

“draft… maybe?” — you tried to reason the situation once again.

“shush”, — he cleared his throat — “er… everything is alright, we’re fine! just having some fun, none is hurt, well, at least for now, ha-ha~” — the last part was added quieter so that only you could hear it.

but there still was no answer.

“we saved the whole damn area from the bloody curse and still can’t get just a couple minutes of privacy? gods!” — annoyingly and sarcastically added Astarion, commenting on the situation.

and then, from the depths of the dark around them he hears the response:

“third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed.”

and Astarion froze.

he froze in place as he used to do for so many times.

he froze as spawn that heard his master’s disgruntled command.

he froze, looking into darkness — the source of that deadly familiar cold-toned voice.

he froze in place: no sound, no breeze touching his skin — just echo of those words rushing through his head.

if he still had his heart beating, it would stop now.

if his skin was warmer, it would run cold now.

his face froze in a blank expression of horror: eyes wide opened and not blinking, just staring at some spot in the darkness before him, where a pair of two red piercing eyes was now visible.

“Astarion, my boy, you abandoned your family just to play heroes? and you thought you could enter the city without me knowing about it? uh, im offended. always so underestimating of me.”

the dark figure was slowly approaching you, becoming more visible with each step. you could already review that the stranger was tall, dark haired, had a rich suit on, was walking with elegant posture and had those damn bloody red eyes.

but Astarion was just standing as he was before, pure horror on his face.

and realization finally hit you.

you stepped in-front of your man, shielding him with your body and arms:

“do not come closer, you piece of shit, or i will slit your throat open.”

“ah, you got a pet without my permission? ugh, i can smell her all over your body… disgusting.

what did i tell you? first, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures.”

you threw up your hand, preparing to cast sunbeam:

“i said, step away and leave him be, you moron!” — the more you were losing your temper, the more small sparkles where starting to appear on your palm, threatening to erupt into the powerful ray.

but the man before you ignored it, like you were nothing more than another piece of dust-covered furniture.

“come, boy.” — Cazador ordered.

his strong voice spreading in the hallway as ice-cold echo.

but Astarion remained motionless, still not blinking, though now visibly shaking.

“second, thou shalt obey me in all things.” — you were ready to swear that his eyes sparkled a bit brighter for a second. — “come here, spawn. do not make it more difficult for everyone.”

and the pale elf made a tiny step forward, jolting his body towards his not so former master.

“Astarion, no!” — you shouted, stopping him from going further in the dark. — “sunbeam!”

the bright sunshine erupted and fell hard on the dark figure in-front of you, creating sound of several waves of thunder. but when the light went off, you couldn’t sense anyone else present.

you casted a couple of flying candles to lighten the surroundings, however, you could see only pale elf and the covered furniture around you.

you were not sure if it’s a good thing, though.

but as none else was visibly present down there with two of you, you brought your attention back to the poor man, that was even paler than usual.

“are you okay?” — your voice obviously worried. — “hey, Astarion,” — you placed your trembling but still warm palms on his cheeks, tilting his face towards yours. — “look at me. he’s gone, you’re safe! everything is gonna be alright…”

and he finally obeyed. but as soon as he did so, he froze once again, looking somewhere behind your back.

at the very same moment you sensed it. the cold aura of that deadly monster who was tormenting your lover in his dreams. you did not dare to look back, too scared to find out how exactly close he was, but then you felt a couple of silk-like hair strands touching your bare shoulder.

“over there, i heard it there!” — muffled voices of guards came from behind the closed doors.

“unfortunately, our reunion had come to an end… for now. i just couldn’t not greet you myself, my dear boy.” — the guardians started slamming the door. — “come back home, Astarion, come back home…”

the very moment his piercing voice died in the corridor’s walls, the candles were blown, too, leaving you two in the complete darkness of the empty hallway.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 cazador #cazador szarr #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate tav #baldurs gate fanfiction #writers on tumblr #writing #tav #bg3 tav #astarion x tav

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

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A little milestone here on my blog!

Oh my god we just reached 30 subscribers??? That's INSANE to me, especially since I'm still getting the hang of writing in English AND came here with a non-existent pairing T__T I'm so beyond grateful for your interest... this isn't about numbers to me, but, like. Thirty people found my shit worthy of their time. That's a whole lot of people!!

I want to give back somehow, but I'm not sure how? I do have several Karlach x Soap WIPs at different stages of progress and also I'm thinking on that OF!AU with TF141 x reader (also something brewing in my head about the butch!reader or idk how to shorten that one yet), but I want to do something special, so I might just ask you guys, after all, this should be a celebration of your support (I can't believe it, really, this is the most love I've ever gotten on such a new page AND an obscure ship...)

So, I've seen some prompt lists I thought are nice, and I think the choice is between these four variants? I'll reblog the chosen prompt list and then y'all can request from it, it's the usual way as far as I've seen? Or I'll look into how to make this little challange even more fun. Or maybe you're not that interested, that's okay too! I can just continue with my own stuff.

#call of duty #cod #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #karlach x soap #karlach #bg3 karlach #soap cod #john soap mactavish #cod x reader #bg3 x reader #bg3 x tav #x reader #milestone celebration

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lyzelky · 7 months ago

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would love to hear more about your tav, if you’re willing to share :)

Another ask!! Yes!! Of course!!! Here are some new sketches as well!

I am in the process of writing a fic, so I don't want to reveal too much without spoiling some plot points I have planned. Regardless, here are some basic character facts: Age: about 23-24 Height: 5'6 Weight: ~150lbs Body Type: She has a sturdy build, especially for tieflings who I think tend to be a bit more wiry/lithe, and has a bit of pudgy-softness to her form. Skin Color: Golden, like Dammons, but she has a pale chest and belly. Hair Color: Golden brown with reddish highlights Eye Color: Hazel-green Char Stats: STR: 10 DEX: 12 CON: 17 INT: 8 WIS: 11 CHA: 15 She's got one-braincell syndrome, but boy can she take a punch. Upon waking in the nautiloid, she hits her head pretty good and realizes shortly after that she has no memory of her personal life. Whether this is due to injury, the tadpole, or something else is something that ties into her character arc. Relating to this, she does have a name! Tav is a moniker given to her by Shadowheart very early on in the story. Her real name will be revealed as the story progresses. Her amnesia seems to obscure only her personal history; She has intact "common knowledge" about cities, recent world events, races of Faerûn, etc. Basically things most people would know, etc. She is a tiefling (Asmodeus), but has some unusual features. Her horns are initially filed down to the base, and her nails have been trimmed so she no longer has the typical claws we see on other tieflings in bg3. As time passes in the story, she does regrow her horns, which is why you might see my depictions of her with varying horn lengths. Due to her amnesia, she is unsure of what line of work she once occupied, but it's apparent she's a proficient martial fighter. She develops a slight father/daughter relationship with Zevlor after saving the grove from the initial goblin attack, and it's his influence that guides her towards becoming a Paladin. This vocation suits her for a variety of reasons, mainly due to the fact that she's inherently selfless, often to a fault. I would list her positive traits as being: kind, self-sacrificing, charismatic, courageous, enduring and practical. I would list her negative traits as being: Reckless, stubborn, naive, dense, tactless (compulsive truth-teller), and overconfident, although this stems more from her naivete rather than arrogance. In short: She's a good aligned, folk-hero paladin, aka Astarion's antithesis (at least in the beginning). I think it's an interesting dynamic to explore that relationship and contention between the two of them, and how ultimately they're good for each other. Hope you didn't mind my rambling! Let me know if there's anything else you're interested in.

#bg3 #tav #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 tav #tiefling #dnd #ask me anything #ask #ramblings #my ocs #my tav #tav x astarion #tavstarion #astarion x tav #art #my art #lyzelky #oc art

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commander-rahrah · 1 year ago

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So do I! I'm glad Astarion is patient with them although he does tease them XD I love the idea of him embroidering little designs whether it's stars, moon, or something else! It sounds adorable 😊 I would definitely adore letting him have the first pick of new clothes! He deserves it & it would help him separate from his past too 🤍 Thank you for sharing your thoughts because I love it so much :)

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD What if Astarion had five things about what GN!Reader does that frustrate & confuse him (but he's secretly grateful for it)

1. They always make eye contact with him unless there's something that requires their utmost attention

2. They always remember what he said to them like a book he mentioned briefly that he wants to read but can't find so they worked hard to find it for him or they asked if he doesn't mind continuing what he was talking about earlier before there was an interruption

3. They always ask for his consent even if it's something he suggested because they're familiar with forcing themselves to do something they don't like or they're used to being presented with the illusion of choice

4. They always thank him whether it's something like shooting down an enemy while they're too preoccupied or helping them carry some stuff

5. They won't touch him unless it's for his benefits like quickly removing a leaf from his hair that he keeps missing (that's how they know because they noticed his stiff expression & how tense his body is briefly when they did for the first time) or pulling him to safety

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Okay, tumblr definitely lost this one -- so sorry about that anon!

I think that with most of these, the biggest thing would be Astarion realizing that you actually are perceiving him. Seeing through any of his careful masks and facades he puts up. A lot of these things are ideas I've been slowly exploring in my fic series as Tav/Astarion's relationship grows, but I can definitely share some little thoughts about them before I post my bigger thoughts in my fic aha!

I would imagine that Tav/reader continuously making eye contact with him might make him nervous at first - he would try to figure out what you were trying to do, if you were trying to throw him off or something. Once he realized it was just because Tav/reader was genuinely interested in what he was saying, listening and watching… his mind might betray him a bit. Why did you focus on him so much? Did you like what you saw? What if you didn't? I think its something he would have to get use to as he let his guard down more and more, and began to trust Tav/reader

I think he would be floored the first time Tav/reader did something like this. If he made some off the cuff comment about wishing he had better reading material, and then the next night there was a little stack of books sitting in his tent. If you did it again, he would maybe ask in a teasing way, but secretly really really wants to know why you're doing this, "What's the big deal? Trying to bribe me?" and being even more confused when Tav/reader shrugs and tell him that they thought of him when they saw it or remembered him bringing it up. This would make him even more confused and probably tell them as such. "You get more puzzling every day."

The always asking for consent thing is actually a scene I already have written for my series Talking to the Moon - but a bit of a snippet of how it will go is essentially him getting exasperated as Tav once again asks "May I?" and he goes "Do you insist on asking that every time?". "Yes, Astarion. Every time." And even if it was his idea, I think Tav/reader would still ask. He might roll his eyes, "Darling, it was my idea." But you would explain that he can always change his mind, that consent given or promises made before can change, that in the moment it could change. That you never want him to feel like that with you, not ever, not again. So yes, you will ask every. single. time.

Gratitude is not something he is used too. His master made demands, not requests. There were no thank yous expressed to him, not ever. I think he would probably mask this one better then any of the others, flipping his hair and replying in his sassy voice that "you owe me" or "yes, I am quite something, aren't I?" But every thank you you gave him, probably healed something inside him

I think that post-confession, Tav/Reader would only ever touch Astarion without permission if it was a matter of safety, like pushing him out of the way of an arrow or for a spell, etc. And before he could say anything, they would start profusely apologizing, not trying to explain it away but then Astarion would shush them, reassuring them that he was alright, "It's okay, I'm fine. We're okay, I promise."

#commander-rahrah answers #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion/reader #astarion x reader

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beepersteeper · 6 months ago

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I Will Always Find You -- Astarion x Tav -- The Talk | part 5

Apologies for the delay in uploads. I hope to have part 6 uploaded today as well. its written and jut needs to be looked at one more time before posting Astarion and F!Tav live happily together for the remaining years she has, she refuses to be turned into a vampire because her faith says that her soul isn’t finished with its work yet. Tav dies of old age and leaves Astarion to put together the pieces of his broken heart. AN: Lord of Light lore taken and changed to fit the story's means. Not canonically accurate. TLDR story line stuff. This is an AU where Astarion ascends but isn't a power hungry bastard and Tav is able to help him continue healing. Wyll is immortal and the Duke. Karlach in my mind, if given a new engine would be able to live a lot longer than the usual tiefling. Another AN: idk if anyone wants tagged in this WIP but let me know.

“The boxes are out the side door, you don't mind giving me a hand right son?"

“Not at all, sir." He swallows the nerves pooling in his throat. They walk to the side door and Astarion begins to move each heavy box through the door frame.

“My little Vira seems very keen on you." her father starts sitting at the desk.

“I suppose so sir, she is a wonderful person." Astarion smiles, maintaining his composure.

“I will speak plainly because I like you too. What are your intentions here Little Star?” He asks prying open the lid of a box and checking the packing pages.

“I don't have any intentions, sir. I just want to get to know her. If anything blossoms from that I give you my word that would be only by her own want." Astarion swears, dragging in another two large boxes taking off his vest, and wiping sweat from his forehead.

“And if she did want that?” her father asks, not moving his eyes from his work.

“If she wanted that and I did too then I suppose we would see where that path led us together.” Astarion shrugs, setting a box on the table for her father to catalog.

“What about any… other urges you might have.” Her father adds pointing his pencil to Astarion's neck, moving his collar down enough to show his scars.

Astarions blood runs cold like it hasn't in a century. Nervous. Scared. “Completely under control.” He urges standing in the door frame looking for any lingering boxes as he grabs the last one and hauls it into the room. “I'll explain if you wish, but it's not everyone's favorite conversation sir.”

“Just tell me that my daughter isn't some meal ticket for you and we'll call it that.“

“Not at all, sir." Astarion shakes his head matter of factly. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind.

“Thank you." He breathes a sigh of relief “How old are you anyway? I know that you're much older than you look, but I don't trust the gossip in town to have their information straight.” Astarion grimaces as he states his age before her father whispers mostly to himself “Such a babe." He tuts “but you seem to have done well for yourself the other years." Astarion purses his lips and nods in agreement unsure what to say. “Listen Astarion,” he sets his work down and folds his hands looking straight at Astarion "you seem like a good man, and my Vira likes your company and you treat her even better than she would like. You are welcoming my home as long as you have her blessing and her best interest at heart. I haven't seen her this happy since we lost her mother, spirits protect her, and just wanted a moment to get to know you myself.” He looks to Astarion with pleading eyes "Just don't hurt her... please. She's all I have.”

“I understand sir. I have no intention of doing that.”

“And stop calling me sir." The father laughs, instantly changing the energy in the room “It's too formal. If you need to call me something my name is Eyman."

Astarion laughs implying an agreement moving a new box to the table and moving an already sorted one to the floor. “I'll try my best. Old habits and all.”

They share a laugh as the door opens and Vira walks in with her hands full of 3 pies "Daddy why are we closed?!"

Her father nods his head toward Vira releasing him from their talk “No one was here to man the counter, Junior was busy moving the crates and I was cataloging."

Astarion rushes to her, taking two of the pies from her hands, and handing one to Eyman. “They were so good last night.” He hums perching on the arm of the chair where Vira sat herself. They sat, enjoying their meal. Astarion smiles to himself enjoying the semblance of a family meal again.

Eyman rights himself after finishing his meal and agreeing that the food was better than he anticipated. He flips the sign to open again and asks Vira and Astarion to continue their work from before. The afternoon passes as they share giggles and looks and talk about what books that they're stocking or packaging. Eventually closing time chimes and Eyman tells them to “get out of here, you both are too young to spend all of your time in this stuffy bookstore." He winks at Astarion telling him he refuses to treat him like he's ‘other than.’ Astarion is pulled out the door before he can respond.

“Where in the hells are we going in such a hurry?" Astarion asks while keeping pace with her being dragged through crowds of people.

“There's a circus in town and I don't want to miss its opening night." She says slowing down, realizing just how manic she must seem "There's minstrels, and portraits painters, a djini, clowns and even beasts.” She cackles slightly when she says beasts “I'm a sucker for animals. Even if they could feasibility tear me limb from limb.”

“Djinis.” He scoffs "Scheming little bastards. The last one I interacted with turned me into a wheel of cheese just because I evened the playing field.”

“That doesn't sound grate at all.” She smirks at him

“And now you make jokes.” He laughs, grabbing at her sides to tickle her as she squirms away. He playfully pulls her back to his side and sweeps an arm around her waist. “You're lucky you're cute, because your jokes, my dear, need work.”

“Trust me that I have no intention of trying to make them better.” She laughs at her response leaning into him.

They giggle and walk closer to the circus before Vira asks what Astarion and her father talked about while she was gone. "He told me that he knew what I was and wanted to make sure I wasn't just looking for my next meal," he smiles, mindlessly running his tongue behind his teeth. “He just wanted to know what my intentions were with you.”

“And what are those intentions?” She asks meekly turning her eyes to his face that is still smiling, his eyes meet hers quickly as he scans the crowd around them.

“What do you want them to be?" He answers her question with another “I told him that I intended to get to know you better and see where things take us.”

“And if I wanted this to head somewhere serious?" She asked kicking a rock from under her feet.

“Then I think I could be persuaded." He playfully responded and squeezed her closer to his side.

She smiled wide and rubbed her thumb on his side in return before leaning into him “It just feels so natural being with you." She sighs.

He quietly laughs through his nose “It really does." He bumps his hip into hers pushing her slightly off balance causing her to grab onto him to steady herself. She laughs in response and bumps him back, not pushing him as off balance as she had hoped. Astarion rolls his eyes and a giggle slips from his lips.

They get into the circus and walk through the pulsing crowd, avoiding the djini’s tent because it was the same one from all those years ago. After seeing the “cute little beasties" as she called them they found themselves standing in line for the dryad. Originally by accident, not realize what the line was actually for, but then almost on a dare between each other.

“We don't have to do this." Vira urges “It's crazy right? We don't know each other well enough to do this."

“Where's the harm?" He shrugs, raising an eyebrow “Maybe she'll tell us something we don't know."

She shrugs and agrees as Astarion pays the woman for a session.

“Interesting…" the woman hums “Where two bodies stand many histories reside. A long line connecting you both. Answer my questions so I can see your true potential.” Vira passes her fingers over Astarion's arm and sits across from him.

“Where does Vira find the most peace?"

“In the cemetery with Tavilline." He smiles speaking her real name, but smiles more when Vira nods to the dryad.

“Very good. Knowing when your muse finds her peace is invaluable knowledge. When does she find the most joy?"

Astarion thinks, not sure but on a whim he responds as if he were answering about Tav “seeing the people she loves thriving."

Vira blushes and pushes her hair behind her ears.

“A selfless partner is not always a blessing Astarion, your answer is true, but be sure to tend to her like she does others… Finally, when does she feel fear? “

He doesn't even think about the question before answering “not being able to answer her Lord's question and losing the people she cares about.”

“Only one answer per question. Which does she fear most?"

“Not finding the answer." He states.

Vira squints at him and says quietly “he's right."

“You both have many things in common, but there is a sturdy wall built that will need to be taken down before your full potential can be explored. I hope you both have the will to break that wall. Your love could be unlike one this realm has ever seen.” With a flourish, the dryad brings them back to the noise of the circus and continues their musings with the next couple. Astarion wraps his arm with Vira’s before putting his shaking hands in his pants pockets.

“I wonder what that means." Vira grumbles “So cryptic. I guess that's why people don't put a lot of stock in what they say, but, curiously, you were right every time. How did you know what brings me joy? We haven't talked about that at all. The other questions, sure it's probably came up or were pretty easy to read. But that…”

He laughs “Honestly?” asking her permission to be blunt with her to which she nods “I just answered like I was answering for Tav.” he shrugs. “The two of you are too similar and I kind of panicked” he laughs nervously.

She stares at him for a whole beat, lost in her thoughts. “Curious.”

They spend another hour or so milling through the circus as night begins to fall. They left the circus and just walked along the river bank behind the church holding each other's hands. Not speaking much, but still joking and flirting and enjoying the others' presence. Eventually, Vira breaks the silence “Do you really see similarities between me and Tav?”

Startled for a moment Astarion just looks at her studying her face in the moonlight. “Yeah.” he shrugs, “I do. But I don't want you to think tha-” he is cut off by Vira.

“You don't have to explain.” she smiles and shrugs. “I'm honestly honored if you see some of her in me, you clearly love her.” She speaks of Tav in the present tense. “And she’s an amazing person from all accounts I've heard.”

“She truly was.” he sighs while smiling.

“Would you humor me by telling me what you see that's similar?”

“As long as that's not weird…” he pauses “I feel like there's some taboo talking about my deceased wife on a second date.” forcing a laugh through a shaky voice.

She stops their walking and holds both of his hands in hers moving her head and forcing him to look into her deep green eyes “If I thought it would be weird, I wouldn't have asked Astarion. But if you don't want to, I won't be upset.” She reassures him by moving her hand to gently touch his face.

“Well that's one way.” he smiles into her palm and places a small kiss on it. “The way that you treat me gently. The difference is that she knew why I needed it, and you don't. You just do it.” Vira smiles at him, not moving her hand from his cheek. “And the way that you can make even the most mundane tasks into something fun.” he chuckles “And, if I can say something without getting elbowed” he smirks and looks into her face waiting for a nod “Your attitude!” he rolls his eyes, smiles and rocks his head beach before looking at her again “Gods be damned, the way that you constantly roll your eyes when you're happy, embarrassed or frustrated. You've got a mind of your own, and you're not afraid to use it much to your dad's dismay. That was something that drove me mad in every way about Tav. She just couldn't be tamed, and I would not have had her any other way. The way that you would be just as happy out on the town or with your nose buried in a book.” he smiles wide, laughing through his nose and shaking his head “All of that without mentioning the fact that your eyes and hair are a carbon copy of hers from decades ago.” he pushes his fingers through her long hair and pushes it behind her shoulder to look into her face.

She blinks slowly, unconsciously leaning into his touch. “As I said, I'm honored to share any qualities with her.” startled when he leaned in to kiss her lips.

His hand is holding her head under her ear and pulling her face to his, kissing her eagerly. “I don't know what this is,” he points between them “but I just can't get enough of you.” he kisses her again “And I am more excited than I could have imagined to see where this goes,” he admits, nervous that he's going to scare her away.

She moves quickly to wrap her arms over his shoulders returning the kiss, feeling his hands fall to her waist. She sighs softly into his lips “Then we will see where it goes.” She smiles as she pulls her face away from his. “You're not the only one that is excited.” she coos “but as excited as I am, I am exhausted, and have a long day at the shop tomorrow.”

“I've got some meetings to attend to.” he grumbles “but I’ll be by as soon as I can, to give you some company.” He releases her waist and starts to walk toward her house. Smiling to himself when she wraps her arm through his. When they find themselves in front of her house he leans on the door frame as she walks in the door “I hope you had a great night, darling.”

“Just the best.” she beams “Thanks Astarion.”

“Anything for you. Goodnight and make sure you lock up.” he reaches his hand out to her, which she eagerly takes. He kisses her knuckles and releases her hand “Until next time.” he smiles and steps out of the door letting her close it.

“Sleep well tonight.” She smiles and slowly closes the door. When he heard the lock latch he headed home through the cemetery brushing his hand over Tav’s headstone as he walked past, too tired to stay and chat. “I love you Tav.” he whispered as he walked past

He walked home quickly heading straight to their bedroom. Exhausted, he bathed and changed into his sleeping clothes, and fell onto his side of the bed. Feeling the down bed depressing beneath him. Anticipating the ache in his chest to tighten, he was shocked when that didn't happen. A little guilt appeared, but not that heart-wrenching pang in his chest. “Huh.” he tuts to himself, allowing himself to actually rest for the first time in such a long time. After sleeping like a stone he woke up and found his way to Wylls office to see when the meeting was.

Taglist:

@zoeloveslotr @silverfangmarks @prudent-nerd

#astarion romance #astarion fa #astarion fanfic #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 #astarion fluff #bg3 fanfiction #soft ascended astarion #baldurs gate astarion

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