#this is about opportunity knocks
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the little solangelo stories in tsats were cute but unfortunately for rick i have already accepted the fanfictions i read years ago as canon and can't fix it
#solangelo#percy jackson#tsats spoilers#tsats#this is about opportunity knocks#and that one where nico is in the infirmary for 3 days and will announces theyre dating via haiku#mine
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I feel this may be much too ultra specific but everytime I think about Remy Garou and Kremy I am only thinking about the song Kick It Up A Notch from Starship
#you know minus the whole being bugs thing and eating people#its the vibe you know#hello is anybody out there#im sorry about this but hear me out ok#'you wanna have the things they got then you gotta give those dice a roll' ???#'have a cigar. a glass of scotch when opportunity knocks on your door. you let em in and then you settle the score'????#IS ANYBODY LISTENING TO MEEE#sorry im a cringe theater kid#leave me alone#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux#Remy Garou#text
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I have a headcanon that all the Papyri/Papyruses have a bad habit of not knocking before opening doors. When Frisk is in Sans’ room Papyrus barges in without knocking. Sans usually keeps the door locked so Papyrus is used to door unlocked = ok to enter. I think all it would be the same in the other aus too. Older brother used to locking their doors to keep younger brother out unfortunately teaching them not to bother knocking. I think is a fun headcanon to exploit to create silly scenarios. What do you think? Does it hold water?
*kicks in the door* HEHE YES that's a really fun headcanon!!! Lots of opportunities for ✨shenanigans✨!
I also think it'd be interesting if all the Papyri had the same habit but for different reasons.
e.g. Classic!Sans gave up on teaching Pap to knock because Pap kept getting too excited/annoyed and forgets to knock, Swap!Pap just can't be bothered much to his brother's chagrin, UF!Pap starts off similar to classic but it becomes a thing of not-knocking as a way to catch people off guard (no time to hide things if you aren't expecting someone!), Swapfell probably depends on your interpretation/which version, but you get my drift lol.
SAYING THAT THOUGH... we do unfortunately have evidence that Papyrus is a polite boy and knocks in canon (sometimes) 😔. He knocks on Undyne's door, when he brings Frisk/the player to her house so they can become friends!
I think it's a super fun headcanon even so, but if having this one instance bothers you, there's plenty of ways to work around it. Not to mention we only have like... 2 and a half instances of door opening action (half from that pic from the newsletter that has Papyrus slamming into Grillby's when he's looking for Sans) which isn't enough to conclude much of anything from either way lmao.
Again, I still think that your headcanon holds up, but it got me thinking about ways to incorporate Papyrus knocking on Undynes door into things... sticking with your existing reasoning, you could always have a situation where all the Papyri keep that assumption, (unlocked means it's ok to come in and locked means stay out) and Undyne has simply learned to lock her door lolol. That does bring to mind the image of Papyrus just... jiggling the doorknob for doors that are locked though. Let him in!!! (Now I think about it... this is actually just how doors seem to work in games generally. Most doors are unlocked, and you enter as you please... if they're locked you either try again/find a key or knock LMAO)
Or maybe he knocked because he wants to be a good role model for Frisk... (this pairs well with a headcanon that I've seen where Papyrus putting on a show/playing things up a little [like the date] for Frisk since they're a kid)
TLDR: that's a FANTASTIC headcanon, I love it, and also do whatever you want forever!!!
#door opening action. the most thrilling thing in the world#do we even see sans using a door ever#wait- yes we do. when he exits his room to play the trombone. does that count.#'this pairs well with' <- its like im talking about pairing wine w food lol#like ah yes. 'this headcanon is refreshing and it has a... fruity undertone' amjbmjjnfjb#velwy.txt#inbox#anon#mindmortar#alternative headcanon. Papyri DO knock on doors except they just barge in without waiting for a response ahrjtjkvndmbgk#same opportunity for shenanigans with an added split second of 'oh no' as the door opens LOL
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Aaah
#opportunity knocked but it sure did come with a lot of complications#i think they genuinely put me in danger? idk how seriously to take that or how much grace to give for emotional distress but#idk about working for someone who isn't taking their workers safety seriously#or like. maybe it was a one-time thing and i should give them a second chance. these do seem like genuinely unusual circumstances#but jeez. what a first day#i feel so bad for everyone#personal#edit: oh. oh i'm pretty upset about this. hate that my emotional reactions take so long to kick in
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I understand the irony of the first post being "Woe are these characters who exist without a land or story" then coming back to write this post.
So as it turns out they have a land and story now. Great.
Anyways last time we talked mostly about Ish, mainly the set up for what he is; so this time we're doing Levi! Along with gods and magic:
There several types of gods: Cultural, Natural, and greatest among them the Celestial. Cultural gods are ones spawned by the thoughts, ideals, and depravity of humans. Meanwhile Natural gods are spawned by landmarks, migration patterns, and storms to name a few. There is some theological debate to be had about if Natural gods are just a subset of Cultural gods, and if they would exist without the presence of humans.
Celestials predate humanity. They are the planets themselves, or as some theorize the planets are a byproduct of their existence Elsewhere. Where the smaller gods are personable and human-like, the aliens minds of the Celestial can hardly be drawn to perceive humanity. Great blessings and calamity tends to follow when one does manage it.
The only celestial body which seems to not have a Celestial mind is the sun, tho it's godhood is also greatly up to theological debate. From an astrological perspective it has the planets bound to it, and is the reason any form of terrestrial life can exist. From a theological perspective is the fact that all things supernatural (blessings, curses, spells, creatures) tends to be weathered or outright destroyed by sunlight.
Magic is, by and large, a product of gods and their connection to a non-physical realm. Much is not understood of how they manage it, but gods have control over whatever domain they are attached to. So for a human to do magic they must contract with a god to have it affect the world. Which has lead to a culture of practitioners dominating/collecting small gods to do their bidding.
Gods of large enough size are capable of binding feats of power to rituals, symbols, or even words if they are strong enough. A god of a mountain might have a several rituals, a pair of symbols, and maybe even a word of power depending on its size; with a major cultural god being similar in scale. Celestials meanwhile have volumes worth of these to share and use; but as with any god, using their power attracts their attention.
Levi was one of the many unfortunate children born to the town of Yasna, twice so when they were adopted/abducted by the town's ruling church. Yasna was a town started by a coven of Elect, a group of leeches whom groomed into existence a god of control (Of Chains and Collars) so to rule over a cult of followers.
Where the other children were loud and required discipline, Levi was quiet and observant. They hardly played, just watched, prodded, and stared with no hint of a soul behind their eyes. The first death among the newly adopted was ruled an accident; but Levi's interest in the corpse left many uncertain.
One of the Elect, a Jezebel by name, took interest in this child. Where the rest were destined for sacrifice or labor, Levi would have a purpose. So she brought them up teaching them how to smile, charm, kill, hide, and most importantly serve and be served by a god. A proper priest set up in just so perfect a position as to help bring Yasna to a burning end.
And so Levi waited. A good little priest, adorned in robes and rituals; good and sanctified helper to the town and its people. Till the day that Jezebel was found to be a heretic, a betrayer who had sired an Elect without consent of the Coven. Staked and burned like the witch she was. With a spot open they did end up keeping the 'fledgling' vampire; and when it came time for one of the town to become his thrall Levi was all too happy to volunteer themself.
Levi had always enjoyed being a tool, a weapon, enjoyed the idea of serving Jezebel's plans. Becoming the thrall to her heir was just going to be another step on the path to the next moment spent killing. Levi only expected their attachment to be as deep as the fangs could reach. It was a welcome surprise that Ish was so much more.
#writeblr#scribe rambles#Ish and Levi#I really need to come up with a world name for them#I should just make it 50 words long where the acronym is a knock knock joke punchline#Anyways Levi is not well#Alternatively they are the most stable person you'll ever meet#Head empty no anxiety about what the future holds#because the future holds their next opportunity to either stab someone or cuddle with Ish#“He's my rock” yeah well they are my favorite little guy#(with a knife)#Anyways this is also effectively part one of Ish and Levi's backstory/full story?
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the thing about dennis is that he is doomed to have to choose between a relationship with someone who doesn't know him, someone who doesn't love him, or someone who doesn't care about him.
#your guess who's who#wildcard thrown in there (random women)#ada speaks#i am indeed including both of my ships here#like being completely real here#he has hindered his relationships. but its to a point where i dont think he could ever break out of it on his own#and no one really cares enough to try to help#everyone who DOES know dennis still sees him as whatever persona he's crafted#and its to a point where if he is genuinely vulnerable with them#they see that and assume it's some sort of farce#he's trying to step on them. make them underestimate him. manipulate them in some way#or they'll see him as inhuman and emotionless or *deserving* of humiliation and take it as an opportunity to shame him#dennis is so. so fucking soft inside but he can't possibly hope to let the others see that now#not after this long#he's 47 years old. he's tired and lonely and sad and he's at a point where he does want to have genuine relationships#but how can you go about breaking down what you've spent years building#when all you have is a hammer and you know knocking out the supports means you'll be crushed under the rubble
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Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu
#Yakuza loveblog#i dont talk about nishikiyama enough because im kazamapilled and hate him a little bit but im also kiryupilled and love him so much so you#see my problem? like i adore when nishiki is just. better in every way than kiryu and nobody ever sees that because theyre all too busy#sucking kiryus cock like okay nishiki had the rest of his life planned out when he was twenty and he was an extremely successful criminal#and getting himself noticed in many many circles then kiryu steps outside and gets into a street fight immediately and the entire tojo clan#surrounds him to throw cash at him like nishiki was actually doing so well for himself before his life was ruined. nothing is his fault#like i love just accepting that nishiki has one hell of a substance abuse problem and nobody cares enough about him to talk to him about it#and kiryu thinks its normal because hes the only one who can see that nishikis doing some great work out there so he must be doing#everything right. inconceivable that nishiki has any sort of ‘problem’ hes the real screwup and kiryu knows he makes life harder for himself#but he refuses to change because hes convinced that thats the only thing hes good at. like i believe that nishiki has a coke snorting#mechanic in game like harry db and without his coke buff he cant do as much damage like with it his output is on par with kiryus whos just#been blessed since birth by the violence gods. anyway kiryu is the only person in the world who thinks that nishiki is great do you get it#nishiki has lived his entire life in kiryus shadow and he doesnt care that kiryu has a natural charisma that he will never have. he has to#get out there every single day networking and socialising and hustling and nonstop landing interviews with cool magazines to get his name#out in the world while kazama takes kiryu out and drags him by the elbow to meet people like this is my son kiryu who has every disease and#everyone claps and cheers like i cannot stress enough how on top of the game nishiki is compared to kiryu. he has a car. kiryu doesnt even#have his own lighter. they are not on the same playing field and yet nishikis always trailing behind him because opportunity is always#knocking at kiryus doorstep whether he likes it or not and nishiki gets fed scraps and nothing else and hes the one with ambition he wants#the view on top and most importantly he wanted his brother there with him but nobody ... likes him ... nobody likes nishiki nobodys in his#corner he onky had kiryu and when he lost him it was quite literally him against the world. it always made me laugh how at the end of yk1#harukas paying her respects at nishikis grave when the only time he ever cared about her was because he wanted her little pendant and he#(actually fucked how alone nishiki was he didnt even have his own fucking men to rely on he was basically working alone with someone he knew#was using him like ??? he was fucking desperate) anyway i really love to think that kiryu being nishikis only friend and the last person in#the world who thought kindly of him (barring like ... kashiwagi) was grieving terribly over his death and haruka being a sensitive and#sweet little girl took the initiative to ask about nishiki and i think kiryu would tell her stories every night of the kind of stuff he and#nishikiyama would get up to when they were her age. he would tell her how amazing nishiki was and how he always looked out for him how he#took care of his sister and how he would always be the one to remind them of impending birthdays and the like. nishiki cared about the#little things .. and he made kiryu want to care about them too but theres just something different between them because nishikis always#been a better person than him .. and he would tell haruka in a voice that sounded like he was begging her to understand that nishiki wasnt a#bad person.. though he did bad things he was a good man and he still wishes with all his heart that he could have done more to save him ...
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it kind of baffles (and pains me) that with how naruto and sasuke's relationship developed, that they didn't end up dying in VOTE2. i think in terms of writing it would have been a pretty good choice, it's a plot twist a lot of fans wouldn't have genuinely believed even if they did anticipate it. and the idea of them dying, fans assuming it can't have happened, it must be like kakashi in the pein arc... just to slowly start to see the people close to them mourning. kurama's grief alone would have been heartbreaking to see. with him not being able to save naruto (as his own loved one) and knowing that he will carry on existing, mourning naruto. i want them to have a happy ever after (where politics of konoha are resolved, including the hyuuga seal, etc). BUT, if not that, i would rather have an utterly heart-wrenching and well written tragedy. where hopefully the shock and grief for konoha would have been a catalyst for a lot of the political changes naruto seemed to have wanted but never completed in boruto
#slightly morbid#but it would have been a good opportunity for a lot more character development#tsunade's reaction would have broke me#especially after naruto was the one to convince her hokage is not a fools dream#another one of those shikamaru moments where your stomach drops too#because his grief is written very well and sadly imo#kakashi's reaction would have knocked me sick#it's horrible to think about but like#?#idk#i'm rambling#kakashi
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@predeition said ; Can Ashmi and I marry all your muses / from : 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃
M―MARRIAGE !?!
#predeition#SHE AND U CAN!#WOE HUSBANDS BE UPON YE!!!#U KNOW IT SAM!! u could lit knock down my door and be like; top 10 men#and i would be like; yes ma'am right away#if i must say so; i hand picked them myself which tbh i dont know if that says something about me having a good or horrendous taste OIRUTOI#BOTH!!#WHAT are the chances that a.shmi is married to the god of night; darkness; conflict & war?#no okay but since ur giving me the opportunity; allow me to blabber about the rest of my muses with a.shmi#umm umm umm umm i think a.shmi and t.ezca could be like; a really hot idea#-twirls hair- there is something about something as crude and raw as justice clashing with a god who's all about duality#t.ezca tests the hearts of men; rewards justice yet just as he does this; he also tempts men#f.go t.ezca also finds this entertaining on itself#so im thinking about a.shmi being forced to take upon this role vs someone who is in a position to#deliver punishment and finds entertainment in it- just like how he would reward an honest warrior#ALSO THE IMAGE OF A JAGUAR AND A TIGER SLAPS HARD#i think that if she were to want to snap his neck it would be so understandable#i think he would find her story to be very interesting; u have a lazy cat tagging along and pulling at her strings to watch how she'll reac#also im unsure of how much tunglr will cut my tags but i'll quickly mention#a.shmi and a.shwatthama's rage??? hot#also turbo biased on c.onstantine so that's her gentle husband who fixes her house's doors and cabinets#im also absolutely biased over a.jurna so umm?? prince arju?? and a.shmi?? arranged marriage??#u mentioned how you wanted miss a.shmi to be romanced and im trying to think about my absolute rizzlords and#agh! my mind is blank rn but im sure i have them!! i know s.aito can be pretty smooth#i dont wanna give her g.il bc- why would u do that to urself OITHRUHGURDGD#but yeah lit anyone on any of my blogs;; go wild
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obsessed with this blocking
#something very film noir about it idk#(come to think of it if there was one missed opportunity (episode wise) on this show i think it was a black and white/silent#noir dream/hallucination/flashback type episode - i mean jane alone gets knocked around enough to justify it imo)#(that's a lie there are other missed opportunities for me personally#but i doubt anyone else wanted the mentalist musical episode or the mentalist time loop episode#and how would they even do that last one anyway we're getting off track)#tm
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listen I just can't with how she was like 'omg you killed that guy' and bane was like 'i didn't do shit he ran away from me' and she was like 'why did he run from you' and bane was like 'because he knew about the blood test' and it's just this like 5'6" old woman arguing with this 6'8" 30-something Famously Ruthless Man and she's just like
'are u okay'
and he Stops being defensive Immediately because no one NO ONE has ever asked if he's okay before and he's just learned that he truly is alone in this world and he tells her he doesn't know how to feel about it and she just sits with him and talks to him and puts a hand on his shoulder like WHO DOES THAT?? TO BANE??? I love her your honor I would take a bullet for her your majesty
#she's the hero of dc idc#yet another reason why I will always say fuck t1m k0ng for thinking Bane would do anything to hurt her -- like Kill Alfred??#Alfred wasn't even on Bane's original 'hurt batman' hit list (in Secret Six) that man's always been safe with Bane#Well...safe is a strong word -- Bane knocks him out but no more damage than that#ooc#i am so emotional about this every day of my life#the way bane -- at the first opportunity to act right -- does his best to learn how and be supported and be a functional person in society#the first moment someone offers him gentle kindness and safety he says 'okay i'll do my best' and then he DOES HIS BEST#fUCK DC writers who bad-faith Bane he worked SO hard to grow
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Me rn thinking about a post-TEC Valentine arc:
#i completely forgot that Spiro broke into *Phonetix’s* building and now I have a gold mine of drama to work with. i don’t need to come up#- with random hypothetical scenarios (though those are still fun!) cause he no doubt would at least HEAR about Artemis during the courts#- even if he wouldn’t know who the Fowls even are. also now I have even more drama between him and Jon with a basis in canon. cause see#- Valentine doesn’t know shit about The People he’s a normal guy in that regard. he’d be PISSED about Jon breaking into his headquarters#- in the way one would honestly expect anyone to be. BUT now he has ammunition to knock him out of power. because it’s no longer petty#- behind-the-scenes crime. Jon’s gone public with it now in an apparent ‘fit of insanity’. it’s kinda hard to excuse something on that scale#- no matter which lawyers you have. all past history aside- it’s an opportunity.#idk I am going absolutely FERAL thinking about this. i wanna talk about my OC more here instead of just sticking him on my sideblog so pls#- just bear with me lol#oc: valentine
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Watching ‘The Cloud’ VOY and Harry Kim is so right about everything
#Harry was right about wanting to invite Janeway to sit down and he was right when he went '!? hey Tuvok - !! fuck you <3'#Every day I mourn us not having Harry Kim as a main focus of the show#He follows the rules he's an ideal Starfleet officer but also - ? He's not afraid to break them and question stuff and talk back#It's SO interesting to have Harry be the one to say 'Maybe we should invite the captain to sit with us!' and have Tom being the one saying#'NO are you crazy??'#livetweeting#also I love Neelix being a bit more ornery when not talking to people face to face#Neelix to the Captain: Hiiiii Janeway <3 You look great today~!!!#Neelix to Kes: Jesus fucking christ whY ...WHY did we have to be on this ship full of CRAZY IDIOTS.....#HEHEHEH he's so right too...I 1000% get why he's like you have a PERFECTLY good home/ship here and you guys fucking LOVE to find ways to#rip it up#'You don't ''care a great deal about your crew'' and introduce them to the spectre of death at every opportunity' HEHEHHEHE LOVE HIM#LOVE JANEWAY TOO...They're both right <3 everyone's right <3#Janeway's on a gameshow and every day the surprise guest is the specter of death#literally the only bad thing about early seasons Voyager is the Kes-Neelix relationship I love EVERYTHING else#if Kes and Neelix had just been friends or had a sibling type relationship?? -chefs kiss-#Tom: hmmm should I knock on Harry's door???? in the middle of the night?? nah....I'll just let myself in :) scare him a little#Harry's so damn brave I would have SCREEEAAAMED#ACTUALLY HEHHE I FORGOT THAT /IMMEDIATELY/ AFTER HARRY SAYS HE REMEMBERS BEING IN THE WOMB#Harry: (like he's tired of talking about it) I REMEMBER being in my mother's womb... -eye roll-#'Everyone knows about your BITE Sandrine' I literally thought she was talking about an STD hHEHE#'They picked your pocket?? On EARTH???' / 'Oh they just do it for tourists' <3#Neelix: Jonah....w ha le???? / Tuvok: -sighs- the fucking Jonah-Whale thing again....#Voyager said episode 6? Yeah. We're doing 'the ship goes into a body' episode - but the ''body'' is a BIIIG alien#Janeway: (in the weirdest tone ever) You like /dogs/ Mr. Paris ? :)#B'Elanna calling Tom a pig <3#EVEN TUVOK'S HERE!?!? HAHAHAHA TUVOK ACTUALLY CAME TO THIS WITHOUT BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT!!!#Janeway hustling everyone at pool <3#Janeway immediately committing appropriation oh NO!!#Tom Paris calling Chakotay 'the indian' ... this is a BAD ep for Chakotay sorry king
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you can put the girl in a shiny elite private grad school but you will NEVER rip the stoned state school drunkard party girl undergrad out of her
#read: i am so grateful for the opportunity to be messy and stupid and fail and fly and grow and make mistakes and get knocked the FUCK down#(im actually coping with massive amounts of sadness trying to leave the life I've built here to pursue bigger and better things)#time to show all the kids in my program how its done LMFAO#this is the adulting they were talking about right#ramblings
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David Tennant interview at the British LGBT Awards, June 2024 (x)
Int: You being an ally to the community isn't something new. You've been doing it, but recently you've obviously really stepped up for trans and non-binary people in a time that's so, so needed. What made you do that?
David: I don't know that I feel like I've done anything that I wouldn't just sort of be normally doing. I mean, it's for me it's just common sense that there's there should be any suggestion that people aren't allowed to live the life they want to live and and to be who they want to be with and to express themselves wholeheartedly. I mean, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else, everybody else just needs to fucking butt out. I don't really understand why...
Int: ...it's controversial.
David: Yeah, there is and the thing... the thing, if there's something that's particularly sobering and depressing, it's that certain debates are being weaponized by certain elements of the political class, often for no... it seems it's not ideological so much as opportunistic. And I just think that's pretty disgusting, really.
Int: I couldn't agree more. What message would you like to send out to trans youth?
David: Please don't feel like you're not loved and that you're not accepted and that you're not... you know, most people in the world are good and kind and just want you to be able to be who you are. Most people in the world don't really care. I mean... you know what I mean?
Int: We're all narcissistic.
David: Exactly. Everyone's so self obsessed that really, the sort of noise that comes from a certain area of the press and of the political class is... it's a minority. It really is. And please don't let that make you feel diminished or dissuaded or discouraged, because, you know, you just... you have to be allowed to be yourself, and you are, and you are yourself and you must thrive and flourish, and we're all here for it.
Int: Amazing. I think, yeah, it's so important .I think sometimes it feels like there's so many people, but it is a minority. It's such a minority.
David: It's a tiny bunch of little whinging fuckers that are on the wrong side of history and they'll all go away soon.
Int: Like what happened with gay people 20 years ago.
David: When I was a kid, when I was a kid, exactly. You know, I was at school when Clause 28 came in and it all felt like being gay was something to be terrified of. And gay men in particular were demonised as paedophiles and now that just feels historic and ludicrous and, I mean, I don't see all those... all those battles aren't won, but we're in a very, very different place. And I feel like.I feel like history is on a progressive trajectory and it might get knocked sideways now and again by people for all sorts of reasons, which are often quite selfish and quite, as I say, not coming from a place of any sort of genuine belief system, but other than a place of opportunism. And that's something that we... I hope that in 20 years time, we're talking about, you know, these culture wars as something of the past.
Int: I believe we will. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan, so.
David: Oh, good, me too!
Int: You are my Doctor.
David: Oh, thank you very much.
Int: But recently, obviously, you came back for the 60th anniversary and you got to work with Yasmin Finney.
David: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Int: What was it like working with her?
David: Oh, she's brilliant. She's fantastic. Yeah. And she's in the show again now, she's back in it, so that's fantastic to see. She's lovely, talented, cool as a cucumber, articulate, brilliant. I learned a lot from her as an actor and also as someone who, you know, who's become a sort of de facto activist just because of who she is and where she is, and she becomes a sort of symbol of hope, and she's wonderful.
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I just hung out with one of my bestest friends and the person who probably put up with me the most when i was in my past messy ass relationship. it was kinda surreal to catch him up on everything for so many reasons.
1. I am more of a bad ass than I give myself credit for lol even before I finally caught my ex in his bs officially, those last few months I was not mfing PLAYING. bravo to me, I needed to re read this shit I s2g
2. It’s still a punch in the face. It still feels insane that it’s over forever and that he was not who he portrayed to be at all. it is a fucking big ass knuckle sandwich to my goddamn heart. Unfortunately.
It’s really fucked up how you can give your heart to someone and they don’t have any real intent to keep it safe. to return the love they say they have for you. they say all these things. make all these promises. I mean they really just fucking play you so good and you don’t even see it. and then once you start to see it it’s like “nah it’s not that. I’m tripppin” bc they keep feeding you bs and you believe them but then at the end of it all it’s always the same end game. I used to think that bc I left him that I won. I don’t really feel that way anymore. I will say I did win myself back and i am so grateful that I was strong enough to want myself and not him anymore. but I didn’t win shit. This isn’t what I wanted but I accept things for what they are. I lost in so many more ways than I even want to accept. But I didn’t win this situation. this is the saddest and most painful thing I’ve ever had to get through in my life. It’s really irritating that I even stil care. It will have been a year in about a month or so. I’m still hurting and he’s probably out there still doing the same damn things. It is infuriating to know that I’m left here with all this pain, this self doubt, this fear of ever getting close to anyone again and he is fine. I didn’t win. but I’m glad to lose if that means I get myself back.
#I hate myself I’m about to start sobbing#it’s ok tho#im fine#im just mad that I’m about to cry over this sorry pos#a waste of a fucking man#he isn’t a man#he’s a 35 yr old dumbass fuck boy#that needs to grow tf up and take care of his gd kids and stop using them as excuses to lie to females#he’s fucked up#and he just gets to keep being ducked up#wtfe#he’s not my problem anymore at least#he didn’t mean shit he said to me ever#and I’m just glad I figured it out before it could get worse#I would rather be alone forever than ever give him another chance#luckily he won’t even give me the opportunity to be stupid#he knocked all the stupid out of me#I will never lose myself like that again#fucking N E V E R
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