#this is about one particular person who does not know me online and in fact does not 'know' me at all

[nbclover]

Christianity bothers me because it feels like a group of people toting love as their identity while simultaneously holding a belief in divine punishment for whatever they/their group agree is not worth loving. I don't want to be saved. I want you to shut the fuck up and either love me or don't. This is about you. You are not telling me to be better because you love me but because you love the idea of fixing someone. You get satisfaction from your faith which I find disgusting because just by my mere existence I am damned in your eyes. You don't know I'm damned. Why on God's green earth would I tell you enough about myself for you to know this. I'm not stupid. If you truly believe in a judgement day, let's leave the judgements for then.

[befemininenow]

It may be a week late, but I hope your Valentines was amazing this year. Here's a little throwback from Escafa (aka Spawnfan) of DeviantArt fame. (If only transitioning was that easy.)

Created back in Valentine’s 2013 as an MTF transformation sequence, it's about a person (in this case, a man) who has a crush on a tomboyish girl. Unfortunately for him, she's a lesbian and does not like men. What the girl on the right doesn't know is that the person presenting as a boy has the ability to turn into a girl. Their female equivalent is a blonde bombshell and the shocked tomboy falls for her. The last panel shows some form of affection for the new lesbian couple.

At the time I saw this post, it was definitely a hot favorite of mines since I was really into MTF genderbending. 11 years later, however, my opinion on this piece is conflicted. Don't get me wrong: the girls are cute, especially the pretty blondie, who is definitely trans girl goals. However, there’s three problems with this piece:

Is the transformed girl transgender? Do they identify as a girl? What if they’re genderfluid, bigender, or even non-binary?

What are the chances this relationship may get impacted if the person in the left switches between genders based on their mood?

As cute as it seems that the left person will do anything to make the tomboy girl so happy, this piece is also part of the MTF transformation genre, which can be off-putting for some due to it’s fetishized and/or kinky nature.

I still think this is one of the better MTF TG transformations since the left person transformed themselves by choice and not by force (the latter is very common on those transformations). Yet, I can’t help but envy the transformed girl for her pretty looks and cute outfit. If only transitioning was that easy.

These were the kind of pieces that I was into before figuring out I was trans myself. This particular line art became one of Escafa’s most popular pieces and one of the most popular MTF TG transformation pieces. In fact, the one you see here is a vector repaint from another DeviantArt artist named P@ntied-Princess (their account is deactivated).

The ones you see online are reposts in ranging quality from good to really pixelated. This one, however, is not only the highest quality post I found, but it’s the one I saved from the original account. I had to use an image search engine and digital archives to find it. I’ve seen a few caption edits of this art throughout my searches, but they’re not in the best quality. Maybe with this repost, there could be some better editing to match with today’s time. Anyways, happy belated Valentine’s Day!

Original art tracing belongs to Escafa (aka Spawnfan). Vector painting done by P@ntied-Princess.

[olderthannetfic]

I don't know if this is me being sensitive, but I kind of hate it when people assume I must be a certain age to write protagonists who are that age well. My protagonist of my most popular current fic is 52. I'm 19. People assume I must be in my 30's at a minimum, and that's... weird, to me?

A 52 year old has a lot in common with a 19 year old. A lot of regrets about things you did wrong, worries about the younger people in your family, you worry about being like the toxic older relatives you swore you wouldn't become, you're not sure what the future holds but you're not 90 or something so you can't stop caring because it does in fact directly impact you, you've got a lot of responsibilities but everyone assumes you're fine either because "oh young people have it easy" or "you're old enough to have your finances in order/your life figured out" is in effect, etc. It's not like a 52 year old is a different species than I am. He has anxieties, problems, a job with annoying coworkers, he's someone's son, he's someone's best friend, he is awkwardly trying to navigate a work-life balance, he's... at the risk of sounding insulting, he's just a guy. I'm just a guy. We are all just guys and gals and whatever the NB equivalent term is.

We're people. We're both people and we live in the same country, and his world has fantasy elements but it's not radically different from ours in any way that would impede my ability to write him. People are stunned I'm 19. I am not good enough to justify this with, "they're stunned by my creative genius!", this is very much them oohing and aaahing over someone writing a normal person with moderate competency. I'm not writing shit you have to be older to have even done IRL. Yeah, adjusting to knowing magic and vampires and werewolves are real is weird. Trying to make sure your younger relatives know they can talk to you without hovering or being annoying is a super standard, normal-ass experience. Being overwhelmed by information and having long to-read and to-watch lists is a really common thing. There's more media available than ever but there remains 24 hours in a day, ultimately.

The thing I got the most praise for that I find to be the most "given an award for knowing the sky is blue" in vibe is him longing for the simplicity of his childhood but acknowledging that simplicity was just how he perceived it and times were complicated back then. I had that revelation about my childhood when I was still in it, when I was ten and I eavesdropped on my mom talking to one of her friends about bills, politics and rising extremism in the US. People think I must be an adult lying about my age in order to get praise for my good writing and my "good writing" is literally just shit I knew when I was 10 years old.

I am not good enough to be worthy of some 'wise beyond your years' type sentiment. I just asked myself, "What would Character Name be thinking/feeling in this situation?" and it's like I'm getting applause for having the ability to walk and chew gum at the same time. I don't need to be in my 30's to grasp a complicated concept like "he's worried about his loved ones".

Look I know a lot of my generation acts dumb online but the most egregious stick out specifically because they're egregious. That's not the norm. We're not incapable of seeing older people as human beings.

--

I fucked a dude in high school because he could write convincingly from a middle-aged POV and was obsessed with the old guy from Don Juan DeMarco. It was refreshing. Most people our age, even the other writer nerds, could not do that.

No, anon, most 19-year-olds aren't especially good at this specific way of putting themselves in an older person's shoes and at getting that across in writing. There are various types of writing skill. Maybe your other ones aren't all that, or maybe you're just too hard on yourself, but it sounds like you're unusually good at a particular niche skill.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here again!! Lord knows I'm exhausted of this little girl but I wanted to touch on what all we have seen since Italy Birthday trip and Lukes recent like. 1. It was reported by someone who took a photo with Luke at the airport that he was alone. Meaning he flew back by himself. Rumor that he left two days before 2. We got radio silence from the group for a while. 3. Rory unfollowed sienna then it was reported on by the fan pages and then he followed her back. 4. Sienna unfollowed Jack Vine (this is the guy that Luke stays with when he didn't have a house) then it was reported on by the fan pages and she followed him back. The last couple days she's unfollowed him again. 5. Charmaine reposted on TikTok about NDA👀 6. Rory takes a trip with his mom. 7. Sienna likes a post of Hannah Dodd and Nicola from fashion week. 8. Sienna hasn't liked any type of photos of A since early August nor did she like that last Luke post. Now with all this information I'm sure we all can come up with some conclusions. I do think that Luke set up some type of NDA which in my opinion was necessary. We have to remember that Luke's management team is actually a very well-known and establish team this was told to me by people in the PR field. He doesn't have newbies. Now I'm sure that pissed a lot of his friends off. It made them keep quiet about things that they might not have wanted to be quiet about. We clearly see something going on. Now Luke liking A stuff. it was 10 1/2 hours after she posted on her grid with a story posted after four hours of the photos being live. Now the posting to her stories of the grid picture is a new thing. That didn't start till after Italy. What does that tell me? She knows that his notifications for her has been probably turned off. So in order for him to see her photos, she would have to post it in her story which he most likely watches those. This particular photo wasn't liked until after Nicola posted at the concert. I don't believe in coincidences. He got a notification that Nicole posted. Then he went online afterwards watching Nicola story. Now who to say it's not part of his NDA that he has with her that. But as I was thinking about all of this today, one of the interviews that Nic and Luke came to mind. When they were discussing red flags. And one of the questions was keeping up with an ex. Nic said something like I feel that how you speak of your ex says a lot about you or something like that. Remember, Luke listens to every single thing that Nikola has said. She's the one person in this world that he remembers how they met down to the chairs they had sat on. So he would remember stuff like this. So it could be an NDA thing or it could be him trying to be civil with his ex. Regardless of the like which does not tell you anything. The only thing that tells me is she is desperate for that like. She has to put it in her story so that he will see it, she wants that like so bad that she's doing something she never had to do before. Why does she want the like so bad? Because she can control the fandom. Every time Luke likes this girls picture people spiral. it's like on a photo. He's not commenting on it. He's not giving her heart eyes. He's not sharing it to his stories. He liked the picture. We don't know the reason why and we will never know. All I'm saying there is a lot going on BTS that's clearly evident by how they're all moving. We just gotta wait for Nicola to speak more. Remember, her voice should always outshine this girl's voice. Nicola has given us all hints that something more is happening. Let's trust her please

As always, love your thoughts and theories!

Here are some additional theories/thoughts I have about the SM events from today. Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts and interpretations based on all the publicly available information I have seen recently. So please do not take this as 100% fact!

N didn't post her Chappell Roan story until almost midnight her time

L THEN preceded to like A's post approximately 30 minutes after N's CR story- which at that point was technically the day AFTER A made her post

So my little delulu theory is that N went home to L after the concert with her besties, they cuddled up and caught up, N posted her story, this made L log on to IG and prompted him to do his obligatory like of miss A's post after seeing A's story

Some additional notes/thoughts:

Even if N DIDN'T go home to L, all of the available information Calm Theory Anon and I have laid out here tells me this. L DOES NOT HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON FOR A AND IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE IS POSTING. L IS DOING THIS WITH N THOUGH.

He also liked A's post within a really short time of N's CR story. Now, the only thing this definitively says is that L/N were on their IG accounts around the same period of time. But this was around 12:30 AM their time. It was pretty late at night, and like it's just an interestingggg coincidence if L/N were separate and just both getting on SM around the same time at that time at night. We also know N tends to go on SM when she is getting ready for bed (N has said this). And she posted the CR story around the time she most likely was getting home from the concert. I think there are just a lot of signs/clues pointing that L/N were together around midnight their time. And L was NOT at the CR concert, so that means she would have met up with L AFTER the concert. And if she was meeting L after the concert at that time at night, they were probably with each other the rest of the night. So this is what leads me to believe that N went home to L OR L got the notification for N's story and got on SM and saw A's story. The timing of it all is just very interestingggg to me 🤔

Lastly, A had to essentially BEG L for this like. Why does L still have to like her posts? I have no definitive answer. My thoughts are it's some sort of contractual agreement. Regardless, these likes have no direct indication of L/A's relationship BTS. If I look at the full picture of EVERYTHING, all the signs indicate that L/N are spending more time together (or just since August decided to start publicly hinting to the fandom that they are spending a lot of time together). And all the signs point to L/A not being on good terms, and that there was some sort of rupture in L's friend group around the Italy bday trip.

These are just my thoughts though. What does everyone else think?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey there sex witch! This one might be a little bit out of your wheelhouse, but I don't really have anyone else to ask 😅 and this seems mostly relevant to what you talk about.

So recently I (a very shy person for a long time) have gotten pretty active in some fandom discord communities, and I've been making a ton of friends. Which is great because I used to have social anxiety to the point where I could barely talk to people, especially online. The problem is that my new friends are all VERY horny, all the time. Which, great for them, I don't really feel the same way. They're also very interested in ERP and other varieties of e-sex and often ask if I want to join. I really don't, but it's fine that they're into that. One guy in particular is really starting to freak me out though. He's a semi-popular creator and a mod on one of the servers. He's becoming a pretty good friend of mine and I play online games with him and others a bunch. He, like the rest of the crowd, is also very horny all the time. He often makes sexual comments about me, sometimes very graphic ones. Stuff like telling me to take my clothes off IRL while on call with him or saying stuff like "I want to fuck you until you cry" or just dming me asking if I want to have sex with him. Sometimes he notices that his comments make me uncomfortable and he did reach out to sincerely apologize for it once, but he hasn't changed his behavior a whole lot.

The big thing that worries me about him is the fact that he's 28. I'm 18, just graduated high school. He knows this about me. He does a very good job of keeping his server 18+ and would never make a sexual comment about a minor, but is still comfortable doing sexual things with people ten years younger than him. Another thing is that even though I've told him I already have a boyfriend, he assumes I'm in an open relationship even though I never told him I was. My boyfriend also says this guy kinda freaks him out and that he's a little worried about me.

I know that age gaps between older people can be perfectly healthy and problems arising from them vary pretty heavily from person to person, but I'm not entirely sure if this is ok or not. This guy doesn't want to hurt anyone. Have I probably just not properly expressed my boundaries with him? It's not like he's targeting me or anything, he acts this way with basically everyone. I'm torn on what to do, he's still my friend and I like him otherwise. Should I just keep laughing it off? I am uncomfortable but I guess it's not a huge deal to me. Should I stop talking to this guy?? Help??

🐟🐟 So I can find this quickly if/when you answer it

hi 🐟🐟,

this guy fucking sucks and needs to be banned from interacting with maybe anyone until he learns what "no" means. literally every individual thing you've described him doing would be alarming in it's own, but altogether this man is a walking collection of red flags. this is not your friend and this is not a guy who cares about your boundaries or well-being; this is a man using his fandom clout to sexually harass you (and likely others). him being ten years older than you isn't even really the biggest issue here; all of this would be shithead behavior even if you were exactly the same age.

get out of there, double fish.

[kazuhahaa]

playing video games with them | anemo boys <3

: kazuha, xiao, venti, wanderer

:mostly crack, a little suggestive but no warnings

well anyway this is another reupload!! added kuni’s part also got lazy to proof read its just a headcanon anyway!!! i play wayy to much video games and id love to share my hobbies with these sweet babies <3

kazuha

i think this baby is a really chill gamer, he enjoys the cozy aspect of video games. thats why i think games like minecraft, stardew valley, animal crossing and the sims!! cozy video game dates are a norm for you guys when its too hot outside or too rainy.

imagine playing stardew valley with him, curled up under the covers with your MATCHING SWITCH CONSOLES. you guys working through the first few years of the game as little farm people doing little farm things. he’d even find some helpful guides online so you guys can maximise your finances in the game. honestly i can see how he gets a little petty at the fact that you MARRIED some npc in the game and he had to watch the whole cutscene while you joked around that he hadn’t given you enough attention and this was all his fault. now kazuha hates that particular npc, and he’s definitely pouting the whole night. give him lots of smooches, tell him that no video game code can replace your pookie wookie baby boy <3

but there, of course are other ways you can make up for it, like asking him to marry you- in animal crossing duh!! he’d take this whole thing very seriously obviously, its a wedding silly. he’d prepare a little wedding venue in his world by the beach, even going as far to design a cute little tux. it’s adorable, also don’t think for a second that he wouldn’t give you a kiss (giggling after) when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss. i also can picture kazuha buying you a promise ring irl , with a maple leaf engraved onto it. yes it was a animal crossing wedding, but it was YOUR WEDDING non the less.

another thing i can imagine is while you were playing the sims kazuha would 100% ask to create a little family with you. he’d even help to go “shopping” online for CC that would fit your characters or homes. kazuha DIES A LITTLE inside as you carefully curate each of the characters, spending hours deciding on the perfect outfits, hairs and personalities. coming up with mini fantasy stories about the mini yous and giggling along with him when they get a little too absurd. your cute family consists of you, kazuha and a little white cat. kazuha likes watching you get a little flustered whenever his character flirts with yours, sending a romantic haiku your way. not to mention the first time your character’s woohoo’ed he teasingly said:

“its honestly a shame that they’re the only ones that get to woohoo you know?”

anyway kazuha is 100% down to try as many games as he can with you, playing games with him is 10 bells out of 10 bells hehe

xiao

gamer xiao… yea he kinda scares me. xiao plays shooter games for sure, like obviously he’s had an eboy valorant phase but lets skip past that for now. its definitely more than normal to hear him grumbling how “dogshit” some of his teammates are. he’s definitely muted from chat on several games, also banned from league most of the time from being toxic in the chats.

playing competitive games with xiao is definitely an experience, and it definitely does not feel like the stereotypical pocket sage and hyper-carry jett. so please proceed with caution. the first time you and him played together, he may have gotten a little TOO HEATED and may have cussed you out on accident forgetting it was his loving, doting and caring partner who just wanted to participate in one of his hobbies. xiao doesn’t mean to get angry at you, please bare with him when the words “how is this person so fucking bad, how are they SO USELESS JUST GET OFF THE GAME DUDE” slip out. and oh boy… xiao immediately regrets his words, he feels so bad. he was actually overjoyed when you asked to play with him, even if he doesn’t actually show it, now he definitely assumes that you won’t ever want to play games with him EVER, hell maybe you want to break up. he’s spiralling. he apologises so much and he’s so awkward and so fidgety. its hard to stay mad at him, when he’s like this you have to admit he’s a little cutie. the next few days he’s definitely cautious and on edge around you, he finds it weird that you let go of the situation so easily and just moved on. he cant believe he let such vulgar words be thrown towards you. so after a conversation about his behaviour, you both decide maybe its best you just be an observer. you’re more than happy to straddle him, chin on his shoulder when he plays at his pc. and xiao LOVES IT, there is honestly nothing more comforting than you give him a little kiss when he starts to get a little too tense. occasionally when you face the screen and watch his games, he gets so nervous to play well. and xiao absolutely DIES when you compliment his abilities. bro needs the praise please, in that moment he thinks you’re so sexy and you have such a caring soul and his ears are tinted so red. don’t tease him though, he won’t be able to play the game properly.

another thing xiao is so weirdly good at is arcade games. i can picture arcade dates and xiao is just godly at them, claw machines, those basketball ones, car racing- you name it sweetheart and he’s earning those tickets like he needs to feed his 20 kids as a single dad. xiao acts so nonchalant about it, shrugging his shoulders as if this talent of his isn’t a big deal, but inside he’s so proud that he’s managed to get you that plushie he knows you’d been eyeing the whole day. he loves the way you grip onto his biceps pulling him to another machine to test his abilities, he may grumble about you overreacting but he’s so happy just to see you smile. and having you cheer him on the side is such an added bonus, you’re such a cute cheerleader. anyway i rate xiao a “please dont scold me baby im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU FUCKING SUCK”

venti

horror games. literally venti HATES THEM but he cant get enough of it. playing phasmophobia would be so incredibly fun, but also a total shitshow. like im talking him making you do all the work while he intentionally provokes the ghost. at the same time he’s too scared to do anything so, he’s always really close to you. so if anything ever happens, you’d be a total idiot to think he’d try to help you, venti would be the first one out the door and running away. venti is also so horrendously LOUD, literally half the time instead of getting spooked by the game, your having a heart attack inducing jump scare from his random screaming. don’t even get me started on roblox horror games, every week there’s some new game he discovered on tiktok, and you are playing it with him, you have to.

another game venti loves to play is sims, but he’s about 100 times more chaotic compared to kazuha. he loves those ridiculous challenges and he wants to have like 10 babies with you, and then proceeds to cry when they are taken away from the sims version of cps. for some reason he has all the packs and likes to screw around with everything. he makes silly little bets with you in any game, for example in the sims he’d bet with you whether your 23rd child is going to be a boy or girl, most bets are harmless like a kiss or cuddles, unless he’s in the mood.

speaking of intimacy, venti needs to be holding you while playing games. arms linked, lying on your lap or you in his, honestly you just let him because he’s so cheeky about it anyway. venti also loves playing music related games with you, duh!! karaoke, guess the song, finish the lyric. ANYTHING!! whether you can sing or not, he just loves to hear your voice, definitely teases you if you cant though hehe. karaoke is so fun, if your shy he definitely eases you into letting lose and breaking out of your comfort zone, duetting with you is something he loves because music is his passion and honestly it hits so close to home for him. you’d often find him squeezing your hand as a form of encouragement.

im rating venti a solid 8 red bulls out of “i’ve already had 15”.

wanderer

this little emo baby is 100% only ever playing single player games, things that are extremely grindy and super lore heavy (bro is on subreddits looking at game theories and conspiracies, he would love to talk to you about them if you ever asked)!! im talking about bloodborne, doom, assassin’s creed and dark souls. he hates online multiplayer games because he doesn’t want to interact with “idiots” as he’s mentioned numerous times. so unfortunately its not often that you have a chance to play any type of multiplayer games with him.

however when it comes to his gaming sessions, he’d subtly invite you to come watch him because you’re like his own little streaming audience, and he loves it. the way you comment about how cool his character looks, or ask questions about gameplay mechanics. he loves how you involve yourself in his hobbies, it turns him to mush. he also loves how you play with his hair while peeking over his shoulder to look at the tv screen as he taps away at the controller. sometimes when the game gets a little boring he notices how your breath bounces off his neck, needless to say, those nights end up a bit more differently than how you originally imagined.

also if your ever interested in the game, kuni would “hesitantly” offer you to play on a new save file. but he’s actually elated that you’re going to try his FAVOURITE video game ever. you take your place in his lap as he explains to you the basics, not many would notice but you can ever so slightly hear the excitement in his voice. kuni complains about you being so lost but he’s so careful with explaining certain things, he’s also so patient as you take hours designing your character, well he’s okay being patient since its you. kuni absolutely DISSOLVES when facing a difficult boss, puzzle or obstacle, you kinda go into a slump against his chest and beg him to help you get past it. he snickers that your so weak, but somehow he manages to get through so swiftly- i guess he needs to show off a little to you. he also may complain a lot but thats just how this baby boy is, dont get discouraged he actually thinks you’re so cute.

also if you ever find yourself playing overcooked, moving out, gang beasts or any of those party games with kuni… good luck, just because he doesn’t like competitive games like valorant, DOES NOT MEAN HE ISNT COMPETITIVE. he gets so worked up and its honestly a little cute if you can look past the crusty white dog behaviour. if you do end up getting into an argument over these games, dont be surprised. im lazy to give a rating so im giving him 10/10, again minus the crusty white dog.

edit: if you saw “anyway wanderer is a straight” HAHA i apologise maybe thats why i should straight proof reading oops hehe

[diaprincess-dl]

First of all, thank you for who you are, and especially for choosing to share it with the world.

I am DL, with very few AB tendencies, if I understand correctly, you are also like that, with a connection to the DL world mainly.

There are very few women in the community in general, and in particular those who are DL. It's really refreshing to see that the first girl I notice that she's DL, she's also the most amazing beauty I've ever seen wearing diapers, and with a face that has real angelic cuteness.

I wanted to ask, and I would be very happy if you could answer, Even if not a complete answer, at least to know that you read and saw what I wrote, it will be very, very flattering to me.

When did you start wanting to wear a diaper? Is it sexual? If so, at what age did you realize it was related to sexual arousal? And if not, what in your soul makes you want this? At what age did you first put on diapers after initial weaning from diapers? And according to the fact that you had, from what I understand, late night wets, did your parents force you to wear a diaper? And when was the first time you put on a diaper in a section where it was clear to you that it was a so-called 'forbidden act'?

Sorry for the flood of questions.

I had a theory that was destroyed because of you, that these are only men can be a DL, because the sexual sensation associated with diapers somehow comes from stimulation and friction of the genital organ at a very young age in a diaper, which causes the brain to develop something very primitive to want a diaper, something that, technically, does not happen with women or should not happen for obvious reasons. And this is the reason that from the very, very basic tests I did, a lot of DL, these are children who were weaned at a relatively late age, 3, 4 and even 5. Then they develop the desire to wear a diaper, and at the age of 13 or so, it develops into something sexual. And that is why women are not DL, because the stimulation is supposed to be a lot more rarer.

One last thing I want to tell you is that the day I see a picture of you with a soaked diaper under your clothes, my day looks like rainbow.

Thank you so much for this!!!

Hiiyaaa 💕👸🏼

Thank you for such a kind message 🤗 I am definitely more into the DL side of things, you are absolutely correct but I do love some aspects of the AB side, I just don’t tend to share them online as much.

So I just started kindof dabbling in the world of diapers a few years ago, but had been wetting my pants and bed (some accidents, some on purpose) for literal years before I discovered the idea of wearing diapers… When I was a teen I went through phases where I would wet my bed like every night on purpose and then try to hide the evidence in the morning from my parents 🤦🏼‍♀️ they mentioned things a couple of times, but nowhere near the amount I was actually wetting the bed… they probably knew though lol.. l I definitely have a watersports kink, absolutely 🙊. Anyway I felt so silly for not thinking about the idea of using diapers sooner but diapers just never occurred to me lol. A few years back I saw my first porn video with another girl in a diaper and I was just in awe and had to try it myself 🤭.

Slowly I started to indulge more and more into blogs and personal ab/dl blogs to the point that I just kindof gradually mentally got myself in a space where I thought that I could try wearing diapers more often, which started off as just at night (when I was 26 to answer one of your questions)…. But somewhere in this phase I realized the convenience aspect of wearing 👀.. I could actually go through a full night in bed without having to get up to pee, so what started as a kink lead to discovering more than just that. I started wearing diapers all night, every night and just got used to waking up and wetting them, but this slowly, and I do mean slowly, about a year of wearing every night, turned into me starting to barely remember waking up to wet and eventually just flat out not remembering/not waking up and wetting myself most nights of the week. This was kindof scary but also turned me on? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤭 sooo I just kept doing it.

Here’s where the “convenience” aspect let me start wearing during the day: long road trips or long days out with my partner meant there was no real good spots to stop for the restroom all of the time. Things like concerts or big gatherings where there is drinking and long lines for the ladies room… I started wearing diapers to some of these things, not much as first but when I’d go back to not being diapered and have to suffer waiting in line, or waiting for a pit stop.. it was those moments that I seriously realized how much better it was being padded 💡 It was a little scary at first wearing diapers in public, especially wetting them.. also especially because I typically wear leggings or short dresses, so there is always some way that it can be seen. I’ve slowly just started to realize most people don’t care what you’re wearing for underwear, especially strangers. Friends on the other hand… 😬🫠 I know that some of my friends have noticed my diapers. I’ve had friends over for wine nights and forgot (on multiple occasions) to throw away my night time diapey and it was folded up on the bathroom floor and two of my friends went in there before I had went in and noticed. I’ve had a leak while waiting for a cab with my other friend and it was just us waiting outside in the quiet and I know she could hear the leaking onto the pavement. I also have multiple pictures on here of a diaper(s) I was wearing for while we were all hanging out…. So like all that and many other random occasions I’m sure lots of my friends know I wear diapers, I’m just waiting for someone to say something 🙊🙊 but part of me knowing they know, secretly turns me on? I’m super weird 🫠

So anyway since I knew there was a really big and accepting community out there for this, I finally got the courage to make a blog on Tumblr. It actually just started out as a personal blog for myself to be honest. Just a place where I could document my progress and share this side of me, for pictures I could go back and look at… I had no idea it would blow up like this. 😳 but I am extremely grateful and happy about it 💕💕

I wear diapers all of the time now, and am 100% nighttime bladder incontinent, and daytime at this point of a year wearing diapers 24/7 and NEVER trying to hold it….. I’m like basically there for daytime incontinence. 2 years ago I could totally hold it for hours like any other girl, but now I legitimately need diapers to keep me ‘dry’. I did it all to myself and part of me can’t believe it, but most of me is really happy I did it to myself 💕

[bizarrelittlemew]

Hello - just for the record, I do not know the person you’ve tagged in your post. I’ve not seen their blog. I found the gif on an image search. It’s also incredibly easy to create a gif from a video clip. So I don’t know how you expected me to know that one individual owned this particular gif. It would have been so much more helpful if you’d have just told me about it directly and given me their name instead of creating this passive aggressive, condescending post at my expense. A total stranger whose experiences and motivations you do not know. I only finished the show two days ago, and wanted to share my thoughts about it. That was all.

if it’s so easy, you should’ve made your own 🙃

OR if you absolutely needed a gif to "share your thoughts," you could’ve used tumblr’s Add GIF function. it’s right there.

listen, i was actually trying to be nice because i could see you were new, so i wanted to inform about fandom etiquette. i also gave you a link to a post explaining very gently why and how to credit gifmakers. but if you’re going to be rude and disrespectful in my inbox about it, i won't sugarcoat it anymore.

i did a reverse image source and found the post where the gif was from very quickly. i even linked it to you and you still put “google image” as a source?! (i see now that you've changed it to actually say their username but it was not like that this morning). you need to understand that the fact that you "do not know them" or "haven't seen their posts" (i linked the post to you in my reblog btw) does not change the fact that you posted something they made and the appropriate thing is to give them credit. i literally did the work of finding the source for you. proper credit is a username and/or a link to the original post, not where you "found it." the fact that a gif shows up in a google image search doesn’t erase the actual source or make it less shitty to reupload without credit.

i don’t tell people to credit gifmakers as a judgement of their character, so i don’t give one single fuck about motivations or excuses. i ASSUME people don’t know how much work goes into editing the kind of gif you stole because there is this culture of treating gifs like they just appear out of thin air instead of being created by A PERSON, usually a fellow fan. all i’m looking for is “thanks, i’ve added the credit!” and not this kind of bullshit because your feelings were hurt by being gently called out. i went into this thinking “oh they probably just don’t know how much work goes into it” but when you double down instead of accepting the help, you lose the benefit of the doubt.

you are also talking to a stranger btw, one who has put time and effort (for YEARS) into creating gifs. the type of gifs you see here in gifsets on tumblr are fanworks. there is a difference between plopping a video clip into an online gif converter and spending hours in photoshop making pretty gifsets to share with other fans. shitting on the people who make them is gonna make them stop sharing and creating, and make fandom worse for everyone. no one likes seeing their fanworks stolen, no matter if it’s fanart, fanfic, video edits, or yes, gifs. but if you’d actually read the post i linked you, you’d already know the feelings a lot of tumblr gifmakers share around this and wouldn’t have sent me this ask

i have several reasons for adding the source in a reblog to the post instead of writing privately. first, it attaches the actual source to the post, which is the main point for me. second, private messages can easily be ignored. third, i have had people ask me about fandom etiquette before and thus take this kind of thing as an opportunity to bring attention to the importance of giving proper credit (and i got a very lovely ask thanking me for it too, so this does help). although MOST often, i just let it go because it’s not worth the energy when people react like you do

i’d advice you to open your mind a little and listen when people tell you that you could do a small thing to make fandom less shitty instead of immediately taking it as a personal attack, because i genuinely wrote it assuming you just didn’t know and i wanted to inform you before you stepped on someone’s toes. but now you’ve stomped all over mine so here you go, we’re skipping straight past passive aggression to just aggression ✌️

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

nykki (martin necas' girlfriend) just posted some sort of q&a on her youtube channel and from the translation of the title, she should be talking about the nhl too, could you perhaps watch it and translate the interesting bits for us since its in czech?

This video was actually really interesting.

I have said it in the past already, but Nykki is genuinely one of the most sensible, down-to-earth, and level-headed WAGs I have seen on social media, so her answers were impressive and definitely worth hearing:

She answered the question about how she and Martin met:

Said that it is the most-asked question she gets - "My theory is that some of the people, who are asking me that, probably want to date a hockey player and they don't know how to do that. Personally, I wouldn't go for a hockey player." (she is so real laughing her ass off during that last part)

She would really want to have some sort of romantic story, but they literally started dating because he was constantly liking her photos, then DMed her on Instagram, they started texting and FaceTiming for several months before they actually saw each other in real life and started dating like two months after.

Talked about what it is like living as a (European) WAG, who moved to the US because of her boyfriend:

The players are away for half of the month during the season, so they don't see each other as often as people may think.

It was really hard for her to make friends among the other WAGs in the first year.

Overall, she expressed that she really struggled the first year and even thought that she wouldn't be able to live like that, wanting to go back home.

She also found it really hard to understand the "NHL lifestyle" (said that the term alone seems silly to her to this day) - "It is an extremely particular group of people. Even among the girls, in the room where we meet during the games, there are so many unspoken rules. I am an open book, I like to share my thoughts, and I hate small shallow talks, but I understood quite quickly that it doesn't work like that here and you can't trust everyone. It is everywhere like that - when you come to a room where there are twenty-five girls, at the end of the day, you only get along with a few of them, and I didn't understand that in the beginning. I kinda burned myself."

She can't have a work permit in the US and neither can all the European WAGs because their visas are officially under their partners - said that it is extremely hard for everyone to get a work permit in the US, but for them, it is practically impossible. A lot of other WAGs have tried, they poured a lot of money into the lawyers, and no one, she knows, has so far succeeded.

Where it is possible for the WAGs to obtain work permits, is in Canada - during this part, she also joked that Martin doesn't have a contract for the next year, so maybe they could move there.

Because of this whole work permit issue, she started doing social media, producing music, and writing scripts for some sort of company (the last two I understood are jobs in the Czech Republic, which she does online), making her own money.

She also said that life in Raleigh, North Carolina is quite uneventful compared to Prague, where she is from - however, she is also aware of the fact, that Raleigh is a quite safe place to live and that she can be glad for it because it's not like that everywhere in the States (as she knows from the experiences of other WAGs).

She also answered money-related questions as many people think that her boyfriend pays for everything in her life:

It is crazy for her that some people think that she is dating him only for the money - said that she didn't move across the Atlantic, away from her family and friends, and the established life she had in the Czech Republic, because of designer bags.

Said that all the WAGs (not just hockey ones) always showcase their life on social media to people who follow them in a manner that makes it seem better than it actually is - posting how they go to the games, how they all have their hair done, designer handbags...

She emphasized that they do have it really easy in a lot of things, and that it actually bothers her (personally she wouldn't be able to bear being financially dependent on her boyfriend - at least that's what I think she meant), but that there are also a lot of disadvantages, for example, if she is going to have kids one day in the States, their grandparents aren't going to see them because they are on the other side of the Atlantic.

At the end of the NHL-related segment, she brought up the question "what would you do if you broke up?"

She emphasized that she is one of the lucky ones because she has managed to find a way how to make a living on her own so this question doesn't really worry her because her life would simply continue, just back in Prague, not in the USA, but that many of the girls are studying in the States or just living there with their boyfriends and solely because of their boyfriends, and that once they break up, it is extremely difficult for them.

[reblogandlikes]

Self insert Fandom

I've come to realise that most of the toxicity within the acotar fandom is often rooted in a ridiculous amount of self insert. They see a character as them, therefore their actions are absolved. They see another character in their abuser, or worse, 'as' their abusers and so they can never be impartial towards them, thinking the worst because in real life they've dealt with a lot.

I get it. Art can sometimes mimic reality, but they are indeed forgetting that this is a whole fantasy fiction book about human women turned fae getting dicked down with a hint of war and political intrigue. These characters are not, in fact, you or your abusers. Making the series so personal to themselves can then lead to a lack of introspection of the work as a whole made to be enjoyed and critiqued to the readers' preference, whether shallow or in depth.

But because this fandom in particular seem to make these books so personal than reading it as a piece of fiction, they're inflicting real world scenarios onto fictional characters and if their characters face any backlash or reasonable questioning, they take it as a personal attack which for some reason leads to insults and wild assumptions of very REAL people.

"No, no one is saying you should forgive your abuser mum, boyfriend, sister, because this literally isn't about you. I dont know you or your situation. Im talking about *insert character*."

"No, I don't think reactive abuse is OK, though I also don't believe lying about SA is OK either, let alone condoning SA."

"What do you mean it's abusive to lock someone up and then make an excuse to say it's not abuse to lock someone else up?"

The mental gymnastics is truly outstanding. If they're so called morally grey, let them be just that.

Speaking for myself, it's easy to find some commonality in a characters personality. It's written by a whole human who has a personality too, after all. But I do not attach myself to these characters as if they are my family members or those dear to me. They are, in fact, not real, and I will talk about them in the context of a fantasy text, generally.

Now the moment you take their actions out of a fantasy text, every character, and I mean, every character, needs to be dealt with the same scrutiny. Your faves will be called out and dragged. You cannot call real people names, but then think highly of yourself when your faves have done worse. What does that then make you? A racist? A misogynist? An AS denier? An abuse apologist? Someone who endorses apartheid? Someone who's OK with controlling the female body? A war criminal?

You see how absurd that all is?

Honestly, it's not that deep. But again, it's not bad to see yourself in character. Just realise that when people have some reservations about them, they are not calling YOU out. They are strictly talking about that character and that character alone. But maybe if you find so much offence, perhaps you should think about why that is. Look deep and figure out why it troubles you so much. Perhaps they're holding up a mirror, and you simply can not bear to look into it, seeming that that character represents you so much.

I think this is the only fandom I've been involved in where simply daring to disagree with the main MC and side characters can lead to online prosecution and just so much hostility. I've seen some truly nasty comments, and it's boggling. I can imagine how off-putting it may seem to newer readers.

I long for the days when people can talk about the characters and narrative alone without feeling the need to make disclosures about what they support in real life because it's truly unnecessary. I thought reading fiction was meant to be a form of escapism, not defending my moral standpoint.

If I said I enjoyed Katherine Pierce, Klaus Mikaelson and Kai Parker from TVD, what then? They're despicable, but fucking enjoyable. Don't get me started on Game of Thrones characters.

Alright, I'm done now 😅

[effervescent-experience]

On the TikTok Ban

Hello, everyone. This is not my usual content. However, as a leftist and someone who has been on the app for a while, I feel that I should address the potential TikTok ban on January 19th and why it doesn’t sit right with me at all. 

I believe that the ban is bad. This is somewhat of a polarizing statement, but I genuinely think that banning TikTok would be unconstitutional because it would undermine American users’ First Amendment rights by preventing freedom of speech and expression. The ban would eliminate a significant facet of popular culture, limit how people can make money to provide for themselves and their families, and prevent citizens from accessing a major news source (I’m not saying you should get all of your news from TikTok, but it does help to bring surface level awareness about issues so people can go out and learn more about them). Doing this on speculation is wrong and will significantly prevent communication and the exchange of information that has become vital in society. 

Speculation and National Security Threats: 

The concern about TikTok comes from its owner, ByteDance, headquartered in Beijing and is therefore legally obligated to “turn over data to Chinese authorities on request.” This would mean that sensitive information about American users could be directly accessed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which could lead to the spread of deliberate misinformation and more sophisticated foreign monitoring of online activity (Espada and Popli par. 3-5). 

To this, I would respond that there is already extreme amounts of misinformation on TikTok within U.S. borders - sensationalist content without actual evidence is an issue. Especially around elections, natural disasters, or events that may trigger an emotional response, there seems to be an uptick in misinformation and disinformation, as people create false news and others repeat what they see because they believe it to be true. Recently, we have seen this with the fires in California and all of the AI videos. This aligns with my point because any foreign misinformation, political propaganda, or sensationalist content would likely be more extreme than but still comparable to the lies already spread on the app for the sake of garnering more views. I cannot deny that political propaganda is dangerous, nor can I deny that the idea of being monitored is extremely frightening, but skeptics and well-informed audiences will do the work to fact-check such content. 

The Spread of Information: 

Because I am not an influencer, my biggest personal gripe with banning TikTok is that it would prevent easy and immediate access to all types of information. Like the internet, TikTok is an incredibly vast information collection about nearly every topic. Look up anything, and you will quickly find infodumps, tutorials, and a large crowd of people who can answer your questions. I was working on an embroidery project yesterday and needed to know how to do a particular stitch. Within thirty seconds, I had my answer and could return to work, saving much more time than if I had gone to Google or this website to ask the same question. 

It’s much more serious than arts and crafts questions, however. On TikTok, people can better understand important events that people in their “real lives” are not offering explanations for. At least for me, this allows for a much more complete account of the event from numerous perspectives, many of which are likely different than my own. Instead of knowing about the event but only understanding how it impacts me, I can form my opinion with reliable firsthand accounts from others and consider how it impacts everyone, not just myself. As a global community, this is invaluable; understanding each other prevents stigma and the pushing of only one narrative. Banning TikTok would eliminate this, leading to a much less knowledgeable audience and self-centered takes on world events. 

Influencers and Creative Spaces: 

This is also an extremely concerning facet of the potential TikTok ban for me. Although I am not an influencer, I understand that thousands of people make their living from TikTok and have no other form of income. I support this fully and think it’s great that people can live comfortably by doing what they love. This is why it’s exceptionally alarming to me to think that if TikTok is banned, these people will be wholly cut off from their careers. Digitally or not, that is not fair to do to someone, though society does not care about that. Twitter user (I am not calling it X because fuck Elon Musk) Spirituali_tea wrote, “So who’s gonna tell the Biden administration that some of us have built our literal careers on TikTok, and if it gets banned, we will actually have nothing?”.

TikTok also serves as a source of income for displaced families, people rebuilding after natural disasters, medical bills, and everyday necessities. For those who say that these creators should “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and get a “real job,” some people simply cannot because they are disabled, homeless, or otherwise displaced or marginalized. It is unfair that we should be so limited in a society so diverse. People rely on this app; if it is taken away, they will be left with nothing. I’ll repeat it: that’s just not right. 

Additionally, people in creative spaces use the app to promote themselves, bring awareness to their content, and make money. Without it, small businesses and creators will likely get less exposure, meaning some people can no longer do what they love. Artists will likely lose the fanbases they’ve built and a source of income. TikToker la.fumettisa shared a video with the caption, “heartbroken over the imminent TikTok ban, loss of community and income for my small business,” and Tiktoker dollrust0 wrote, “I know it’s just a TikTok ban, but it’s hard not to be sentimental about losing what has essentially been my digital diary for years. I felt seen.” TikTok is an essential platform for artists, creative types, and people who, like dollrust0, want to feel seen.

As someone who loves to write and make things but has chosen not to do it professionally, I find this fucked up to the highest degree. Society encourages art yet takes every opportunity to limit it when done professionally. How will artists bring attention to what they do? How many beautiful, amazingly talented people will we miss out on if the ban goes through? I love engaging with people on TikTok, and as a small creator on other platforms, the thought of losing everyone I have met or interacted with makes me unbelievably sad. 

The Potential Power Struggle and Precedent:

Because the legislation around the bill dictates that the app can stay un-banned if it is bought by someone else within a year, there is a potential that someone who has bought other platforms or shown interest in it could buy TikTok, allowing them to control the flow of information in the United States and narrative pushed out to the masses regarding political events, natural disasters, and controversial topics. Like misinformation, there is extreme danger in only one narrative being told. It prevents the varied perspectives I mentioned earlier and allows the people in charge to guide the opinions of American TikTok users (170 million people, by the way) to garner support for their ideals. This is where a ban such as this becomes dangerous and sets a precedent for censorship in that it allows the government to interfere with the speech and writing created by the people.

In a conversation with NBC News, “cyber-diplomat” Chris Painter, who has worked with the Obama administration, says, “If the U.S. was certainly trying to shut down a social media platform or something because they didn’t like what was being said on it, absolutely our moral authority would disappear…it sends the message that this is acceptable…obviously that deserves an outcry (Collier par. 14-16).” The proposed ban directly infringes on the American right to freedom of speech and the press, whether the Supreme Court rules it to be this way or not. If the ban goes through, we will see this again, potentially sooner than we would like. If it can be bought, it is under threat. 

Conclusion:

Again, I must assert that the looming ban on TikTok is terrible for various reasons. I am wholeheartedly against it for the threat it poses to Free Speech and its similarities to authoritarian control tactics seen with fascist governments. TikTok is about more than dancing or brain rot. It is vital to spreading information and interconnection between people worldwide, bringing people together around common interests. People use it to make their lives easier and, in some cases, possible. For the government to make such an issue of one app based on speculation when the threat of large-scale war is immense, California is burning, climate change is worsening, gun violence is rampant, and people are dying because they don’t have the basic resources they need to live is, quite frankly, extremely scary.

It is incredibly disheartening to think that our leaders care more about a “silly dancing app” (TikTok user not_tgg) than all of the loss and devastation in the world. Writing does not seem nearly enough to compensate for what is at risk, but we must be aware of what is happening. I’ll leave you with a quote from whistleblower Edward Snowden: “Your rights matter because you never know when you’re going to need them.”

References: 

Collier, Kevin. "A TikTok Ban Could Embolden Authoritarian Censorship, Experts Warn." NBC News, 17 Mar. 2024. NBC News, www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/tiktok-ban-embolden-authoritarian-censorship-experts-warn-rcna143476. Accessed 12 Jan. 2025.

Espada, Mariah, and Nik Popli. "Why the U.S. and Other Countries Want to Ban or Restrict TikTok." TIME. TIME, time.com/6263851/why-us-wants-to-ban-tiktok/. Accessed 12 Jan. 2025.

I have fact-checked all of the information in here to the best of my abilities and would never deliberately spread misinformation, but please correct me if I missed or should add anything. Feel free to reply, but please be polite, even if we share different opinions.

[spitdrunken]

relationships: robin x reader, sunday & robin, sunday & reader

notes: ambiguous relationships, implied mind control (not with robin/reader)

Robin is pretty particular about the people she wants to date, and has a certain modus operandi. Due to her cross-galaxy fame, it’s pretty much impossible for her to go on dating apps, at least via the usual channels. But she doesn’t want to limit her dating pool to just fellow celebrities, either. Masterful at disguises as she is, during first contact and first dates she has a tendency to hide her real identity, though she would never wait long before revealing herself. Even prior to how famous she is now, she has been burnt in the past by people being interested in who they think she is, rather than who she actually is as a person.

She has a special fondness for romance novels, and spends quite a bit of time discussing them on online forums. Online is one of the places she does not have to worry about how she presents herself, and she can gush in anonymity like anyone else. Thinking of a meet-cute is one of the few unrealistic dreams Robin allows herself, but perhaps she meets you through prolonged chatting online. Starting from your shared interests and underneath fake aliases, before spreading out to subject such as your actual lives and the people around you. Your friend is rather secretive, not giving out her exact name or showing pictures, but you assume it’s just in the name of privacy, until…

You: no waaaaaayyyyy You: where’s the /j?? birdie i swear lmao You: you’re kidding right You: or are you actually being serious?? wait wait ok You: ok if you’re serious. ily girl and no offense but like. send me a picture of you and a note with my username on it or smth? cuz im sure you can imagine it’s kinda hard to believe you’re THAT Robin

And she does! She sends you multiple pictures in fact, in multiple poses, to reassure you that the images aren’t A.I.-generated. When she apologises to you for hiding who she really is, she does it through a voice message, and you can hear one of the most envied voices in the galaxy speak just to you. It’s… Kind of overwhelming? But at the same time, it doesn’t change all that much.

She’s still your friend, who you’ve talked about to your struggles and gushed about your interests to, who always listens and always has a nice word to say. Who, if she has any faults, is always too hard to herself, never seeming to cut herself a break. Who always seems to be asleep at different times, and can disappear for days at a time. You thought she just had a horrifically wrecked sleep schedule, but this would explain that! Maybe it helps that, though you’re definitely familiar with Robin, you wouldn’t call yourself a fan or stan of hers.

When she confesses her feelings for you, it’s over the phone, a rare trembling enter his voice as she carefully considers her words.

“I’ve thought… A lot of times about how to put this. I still don’t really know how,” she says, laughing lightly. “I don’t want to lose what we have now. In my life, you’re one of the few people I can always turn to— Who I can show… Other sides of myself. I’ll just say it. It’s not really as romantic as the books we’ve read, but, I’ve fallen for you. Would you care to meet, sometime? And go on a date? I don’t want to pressure you, or feel like you have to do this. If you’re not interested, I still really, really would like to be your friend.”

There are a lot of conversations to be had when you begin to date Robin. It’s not going to be exactly easy. Not only do you need to be prepared to be put on blast on social media and feature in gossip articles, you’ll have to deal with the fact that she’ll be away on travel most of the time. Including to dangerous places, such as active warfronts.

This is something that, regardless of their love for you or anyone else, is integral to Robin’s life, and one thing she’ll never change. If that is something you cannot come to terms with and this reveals itself during your conversations, you’d be better off remaining friends. You can accompany Robin on certain travels, maybe even all of them, depending on the kind of person you are, but for a long while at least, Robin won’t settle anywhere permanently.

But if you manage to get through all of this, Robin is a wonderful girlfriend. She writes you letters and sends you gifts no matter where she goes, and makes time to call you at least once a day whenever she can. In interviews, she’ll bring you up as one of the people who give her strength, and her face lights up when she speaks of you. At events, she’d enjoy helping you dress up in whatever style you want, and constantly keeping your arms interlinked as you walk around.

While she isn’t all that touchy in public, she’d be clingy whenever it’s just the two of you. Making up for lost time together. Another thing she would enjoy is putting the both of you in increasingly elaborate disguises for public outings together! She has to make the fact she’s nearly always followed around by paparazzi fun somehow.

One of the largest ‘hurdles’ when dating Robin is, funnily enough, meeting her older brother Sunday. She speaks of him with nothing but affection and the occasional tinge of worry (though, when you tell her that she has the exact same kind of habits towards overworking herself, it’s suddenly not so bad after all).

Robin herself seems to have no fears that you won’t meet her brother’s standards, but you have your doubts, really. If your glances over the letters he’s written her are anything to go by, he loves Robin just as much as she loves him, if not even more so. While his approval is important to her, you’re certain that she would never break up with you over it, or anything of the sort. Still… You can’t help but feeling nervous.

Your worries aren’t unfounded. Over a dinner in Penacony’s Dreamscape, Sunday seems to scrutinise you, gaze boring into your forehead. All the time, there is nothing but a gentle smile on his face. Yet, you’ve never felt to be under such a strong spotlight, not even at events accompanied by Robin, walking across massive stages. Your head hurts, but you’re guessing it’s just from the general stress that you’re feeling.

As Robin laughs about the type of meal manifested on her brother’s plate (“An Alfalfa Salad for yourself? I really thought you would’ve gone for something sweeter, brother!”), you shift on your seat in discomfort and attempt to keep small talk conversations going.

Perhaps it’s your mind being tricks on you, perhaps you are ‘spiraling in on yourself’, as Robin sometimes calls it, but you really do believe that this man does not like you whatsoever. When you can’t take it anymore, you move your chair. Its loud scraping breaks up any conversation.

The smile on your face is wobbly. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom for a second. Excuse me.”

Robin puts her hand on your arm. “I can show you where it is? The mansion’s layout can be a bit confusing at times, even though I’ve been here plenty of times myself.”

Sunday, across the table, shakes his head and gets up. “Please stay seated, sister. As the host, it is my duty to guide your… Partner, to wherever they may need to go. Allow me to guide you.”

Somehow, your attempted escape has become a new trap in and of itself. It’s practically impossible to deny to go with him now, though, so you straighten your shoulders, nod, and follow Sunday further into his home. The clacking of his shoes on the marble floor is the only noise keeping you two company as you walk a step behind him. He stops. There is no bathroom, here. Only a giant paint of Robin situated on the wall. She’s smiling. Sunday turns half a circle around and stares at it, hands folded together behind his back.

“You…” he speaks slowly. “Do you think you can make her happy?”

Your head throbs. Your head hangs a little to the side, as you stare at the painting. “I think… When I met Robin, she was already happy. In a sense. She has a purpose. A goal she’ll always keep striving for— No matter what. Chasing that, I think it makes her feel more fulfilled than many people… Like me.”

You slowly shake your head. “So, no, I don’t think just myself could make her happy. But as things are now, she is. I do add something to her life, but… I don’t think the rest could be taken away.”

You stare at Sunday. If there is a thought that hits you now, in the painfully placid nature of his expression, in the manner he has watched you all evening, it is not merely protectiveness that fuels him. In part, it is jealousy, too.

You sway a little on your feet.

“You act as if Robin does not care for you,” you smile wistfully, turning to the painting in turn. “You don’t know how she talks about you, if you aren’t around. I think about it, sometimes. If you and I… Were hanging off of a precipice, and she could only save one of us— I can’t say for certain who she would pick. But if I’m honest with myself, as much as it would pain her, and how much it hurts me to think, I really do believe she would save you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as the corners of your vision turn blurry. “I— I don’t know why I’m saying any of this.” You press your hand to the side of your head, and drag it down your cheek. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m feeling very well.”

“Is that really the truth?” Sunday asks.

“To me it is, I guess.” You mumble. “If you asked Robin, she would answer… That she would find a way to save both of us. No matter the cost. Because that is the kind of person she is. But I can’t seem to think that would be a reality.”

Sunday hums, then turns around you. When he nods, your nausea dissipates, you straighten your back, and whatever stupor you had found yourself in leaves your mind. All at once, shame crashes into you. What the hell have you been babbling on and on about for the past five minutes? When he looks at you now, his gaze is not quite as oppressive as before, though you are not entirely sure how to feel about him.

He lowers his head a tad, ears fluttering. “Thank you for allowing me to understand you better,” Sunday tells you. “You are a different type of person than I imagined you to be— Perhaps you and I are more similar than I believed. Due to my personal feelings, it seems I led my thoughts stray into disharmony. Will you forgive me?” Though the ice has left his tone, it is now as if he has shaved off every edge, covering it all in fabric. It is almost condescending.

But you, honestly, still kind of need to piss. And you’re over all of this, really. “I— Yeah. Yeah, sure. Spirit of harmony, and all that.”

Sunday smiles. “Well, then I believe a reintroduction is in order.” He extends his hand towards you, and you hesitate only a moment before taking it. “I suppose we are family now, too. Know that, whenever life’s troubles seem to be consuming you, Penacony will always opens its arms to you.”

[ryuichirou]

What do you think about Lilia and Idia's chats? I know you ship them but did they affect you in any way?

Sorry for the late reply, Anon!

This is one of those asks that I really went “oh no I have to think about this one properly, this is a very important topic” lol But it’s probably for the best because today is kind of a perfect day for me to write about this particular topic.

As always, I ended up talking a whole lot, so I hope you enjoy reading it. I’ll try not to digress too much!

Short answer would be yes of course it affected me: I’m pretty sure it was one of the main reasons why I started shipping them in the first place.

As someone who crawled out of Homestuck’s cradle (and will stay there forever at least in some capacity), I really love it when characters chat. I think all of us act a bit differently when we’re on the internet, even if we’re trying to be 100% honest, or at least we are perceived a bit differently. And when you have two characters who know each other irl, but also know each other online as different people, and one of them is crushing hard, it creates such an interesting dynamic… so beautiful.

It’s very interesting to see Idia swooning so hard. He doesn’t act that way around anybody else, even people he is kind of close with (Azul is the only example but), which contrasts nicely to his usual snarky antisocial self. I love it a lot when this type of character gets very into someone and ends up being a bit tormented by his own inner demons: he craves to be closer to that person, he wants to spend more time together, but he is scared that the moment he accepts his feeling he’s going to get hurt. He is terrified of being vulnerable, but Muscle Crimson makes him so happy that he just can’t help himself. Idia is so cynical and pessimistic, he already accepted the fact that he’ll stay lonely forever, and yet whenever Lilia appears, he gets hopeful, romantic and longing. Very Megara of you, Idia lol

What doesn’t help is that no matter what Muscle Crimson does, somehow it only makes him more perfect in Idia’s eyes…

For starters, in ch6 Idia said that one of the things he loves most about Muscle Crimson is that he never oversteps and is very understanding of him, and how he is very natural in a way he expresses things. What I’m trying to say is that Idia never feels like he has to explain himself or push himself, like MC always gets it and never pries into his affairs. This is the thing that Idia usually struggles with the most: social expectations, the pacing of a conversation, the arbitrary rules of how two people should communicate; and he doesn’t have those issues with MC whatsoever. It’s very easy for him to talk with MC because the moment this usual obstacle isn’t present, Idia is suddenly very eager to connect with another person. MC is chill, MC is nice, MC is mature and MC isn’t needy. We see it so much with their online conversations, it’s incredible.

I also really love their chats because they very nicely show what exactly Idia wants from a relationship. Whenever I talk about Idia’s ideal type, Idia’s love language, Idia’s anything, I always end up talking about it: Idia loves quality time and sharing things that he loves with others, so the fact that he can play videogames with Lilia is massively important for him, but this isn’t the only thing. In Idia’s dorm uniform vignette (god that vignette is such a feast for a multishipper), Idia gets so excited because MC not only agreed to listen to his favourite band, but also was engaged enough to express that he wants to listen to them! On his own volition! Azul-shi who didn’t even bother to listen to their music that Idia kindly brought to him should take notes!

I’m sorry but let’s take a look at this dialogue (official translation from wiki but I just want to make a point okay):

<Muscle Red>  

Ah, I see. My apologies for not being well-informed on the topic.

<Gloomurai>   

NP! sorry for rambling about something you don't care about lol

Imagine ranting to someone about your oshiis, and instead of being annoyed or politely agreeing with you, the person goes “oh I’m sorry that I haven’t heard about them”. Of course, Idia’s instinct is to pull back a little and to apologise for his rambling and to joke about MC not being interested – not as a jab at Lilia, but as a jab at himself instead for bothering him with unnecessary information.

And instead of just letting the conversation go to some other lane (which would’ve been a bit sad, but ultimately not that bad because Lilia’s initial response wasn’t an annoyed one), for some reason, MC does this of all things:

<Muscle Red>  

Actually, after seeing how passionate you are about them...

<Muscle Red>  

My interest in this Premo group has been thoroughly piqued.

<Gloomurai>   

you're already interested just from hearing me drone on and on?

<Gloomurai>   

you're like the nicest guy. i'd give you 100 rare drops if i could

<Muscle Red>  

Would you recommend a particular song for a first-time listener?

Not only he didn’t get a “ehhh yeah cool”, but he also got a “send me their songs” instead. It’s like Lilia is actively trying to lure this poor otaku boy into his embrace lol But the best thing is that it is so casual and genuine, even Idia-the-biggest-cynic doesn’t feel like he is just trying to be nice about it. And as I always say, despite being a hikikomori, Idia is good at reading people, and someone as insecure as he is would’ve definitely thought that MC was just being nice. But he didn’t, instead he got super excited about it.  The boy is so smitten he’s melting as we speak...

And not only that! When in that exact vignette some shenanigans happen with the website of the band, and Idia gets upset about it, MC is so quick to cheer him up and comfort him. It’s interesting with Lilia because he really is wise and mature, but sometimes he doesn’t quite know what to say to comfort someone?? There are some areas in which he is a bit clumsy, I guess, but it seems like when it comes to Gloomy Samurai, it feels like he knows him super well. How his mind and emotion operates, what makes him upset. It’s sweet that he is very eager to support him and feels genuinely bad for him; we’re even shown Lilia himself in his own room being troubled that his online buddy might get depressed over what happened. It’s just so… sweet?? I don’t think Idia had anyone other than Ortho support him like that before. I’ll talk about Lilia in general in a moment though.

One last thing about this vignette is that I wanted to talk about is this little exchange:

<Gloomurai>   

it'd be so cool if we could meet up IRL...

<Muscle Red>  

Oh? Well, if you wish to meet offline, I'd gladly visit whenever you like.

<Gloomurai>   

oh nonononono, i live in a super remote place rn!

<Gloomurai>   

i'd have to take planes, trains, buses, and boats to go p. much anywhere

<Gloomurai>   

meeting up would be a whole THING...

Imagine Idia fucking Shroud not only having a gaming buddy he is excited to talk to, and not only entertaining the idea of meeting said buddy irl, but also EXPRESSING THIS IDEA OUTLOUD? And once again, he is met with enthusiasm, because OF COURSE MC wouldn’t mind hanging out irl! And the moment he gets that response, he pulls back once again, keeping his distance, being anxious and overwhelmed by the possibility of meeting up with MC. It’s incredibly interesting to see Idia acting this way, and once again it shows just how much he doesn’t want to ruin what they have right now. Let’s be honest, it’s not just the fact that he is in NRC; he would’ve easily traveled somewhere if he needed to, they have portals, for fuck’s sake, although not for personal usage. In this convo Idia does what Idia does all the time in their chats: he dares to express interest in MC’s irl affairs, and then gets terrified that MC won’t like it, or MC will answer and somehow this newfound knowledge will ruin something, or that things will get weird: Idia just doesn’t want to risk breaking this balance between them that is super fragile in his eyes.

I love him being so unsure and anxious. I love him being invested and infatuated, but also being so afraid to get hurt. It’s like Lilia is taming him little by little… which isn’t intentional on Lilia’s part lol He’s just hanging out with the guy he likes to hang out with! And the guy is out there falling in love deeper and deeper with every single one of their chat.

But the thing is, this is still not completely one-sided. It’s just that we tend to focus on Idia during these chats, and Idia is really crushing hard on Lilia, but when we’re shown Lilia’s side in his Suitor Suit vignette, we have a little more info on how he feels.

I find it interesting that after Idia’s little rant about how marriage in-game is a stupid mechanic and that it’s such a pain, Lilia changes his mind about asking Idia if he wanted to get married in-game… for unlocking an achievement of course. Which is SUCH A SHAME because Idia would’ve gone full 180 on this topic and would’ve accepted his proposal so fucking hard lol After learning just how much Idia pulls back and rambles, the whole thing really feels like Idia thinking that someone like MC would never ask him for something like this, and how suggesting it himself would’ve been stupid: what if MC thinks that he’s weird or clingy or cringe? So he threw the ball to Lilia’s side of the court so aggressively, that Lilia just figured that Idia hated the idea in general and didn’t want to play with him at all… SUCH A SHAAAME.

But still, it shows that Lilia also doesn’t want to make Gloomy Samurai uncomfortable. Not from the place of extreme shyness, but from the place of loving hanging out with him and not wanting things to become too complicated.

But also!! It’s so interesting to compare the way they act and type. Lilia is so proper with his lack of emoticons, but he is still playful with his comments from time to time. So reliable, so mature, of course Idia’s mental portrait of Muscle Crimson is “older man who may or may not have a family and may or may not be a proper businessmen” lol The boy is talking to someone else’s husband and dad in his head… I also love moments during which Lilia just goes “oh yeah I used to wear armour for work” and Idia just assumes that he’s joking around. I want to see more of their chats ahhh! And I want the big reveal!!

On a personal note (you don’t have to read that part lol), I have my own sentimental reasons to be so into this whole thing. It feels very nostalgic because the whole dynamic, the situations, even the typing style to some degree, it all feels very similar to what we went through ages ago. I won’t point at Lilia and say “he’s just like me for real” because I definitely wasn’t as slick as him at the stupid age of 16, but I did try to have this mature image back then lol But also, just like Lilia, seriously underestimated just how much that antisocial sweetheart I enjoy talking to a lot is into me.

Those early stages of the growing and blossoming relationship, moments of pulling back, showing initiative, trying and being insecure about all those things: I can see it in them, especially in Idia. Since I was technically the Lilia of the situation, I feel such warmth witnessing those early steps in Idia, his crush and his doubts about the whole thing. It’s like… flirting, but not quite? Some other style of flirting that isn’t really noticeable until you really look at it. Since I myself was quite dense back then and, once again, didn’t notice a crush (that I was told about btw) for quite some time, I feel especially sorry for Idia and his pains LOL But also, especially hopeful~

It’s precious. I could’ve written something edgier or sexier but ultimately I feel like it’s very precious, at least to me lol I really love these two. And this is why I’m writing this post today of all days. Very sneaky of me.

Anyways, thank you so much for your question, Anon <3 I love these two a lot.

[sgiandubh]

The lonesome fitness girl - really?

This is a story about a nameless female fitness influencer somewhere in the world. She gives the impression of a lonely „ fighter“ in her business and in her life overall.

That is nonsense - she sells her "destiny" very skilfully. I am convinced she is not a lonely woman behind her influencer profile. But that is exactly the impression she wants to convey and she does so publicly with some success.  This is her unique selling point right now and whoever manages or advises her has recognised this very well. In other words, a narrative is created very carefully and very purposefully.  Sounds somehow familiar? 

There are thousands and thousands of fitness influencers, so it is important for everyone in this business to find the niche that generates followers, clicks and in the end it means an income. Simply performing an exercise is not enough. Every click or like on a post or a story generates a few dollars, euros or pounds in revenue.

And an increase in the number of followers by approx. 80,000-100,000 due to a connection to a famous person will raise the income as well. For the record: people like her are so called macro influencer and are a brand. That is a fact - you can find a lot more information about this in various publications by experts in business administration and marketing.

You have to attract attention, something that our nameless fitness girl has done in different ways over the years. Firstly with her partner at the time, later she created the image of a single fitness mum. And at the moment she is promoting the image of a woman who is finding her way back after an illness with a great deal of commitment and determination. 

But fitness girl was legitimately afraid of loosing her income if she was not able to work. And her body is her work. This led probably her and her team to the conclusion that she needed "visible support" at this point in order to continue operating her business model during the recovery.  And her job is being fitness model. No more and no less.

And right on time, a famous actor with a closeness to fitness programmes or probably rather his team came in. Now she seems to get into contact with his presumably more influential and well-connected fitness circles. And, purely by chance, she is building up an online fitness course. All on her own and while she looks after the rest of her business(es?) - and cares for her family. Hopefully she gets enough sleep? Probably not, which is hardly surprising considering her workload with all her duties and work obligations towards her partners. Fortunately, just like in fairy tales, there is a wonderful magic wand for this - Instagram filter.

The story really is getting better and better...

Add some well-planned (sometimes "almost") encounters at various competition venues between the two main characters.

The fitness girl, her business and her story truly seem impressive? Only if you believe in fairy tales.

Too many coincidences at once, it looks like a well established business deal, too scripted? No - just keep it simple to feed the narrative of the "lonely fitness girl"! Or is she "The girl who never sleeps"? Nobody knows for sure.

But she is most likely not the woman she pretends to be...

Dear Lonesome Fitness Girl Anon,

In an ocean of infantile, mendacious, shite-stirring Anons, your submission is absolutely STELLAR!

Whoever you are, I can tell by the ease of your logical deductions that you mean serious business and you are not easy to fool, either. Just what we happen to love, in this particular corner of this fandom.

I am totally thrilled to share with all of us this rare gem, Anon. Especially today.

You are more than welcome to hit this page anytime. It takes a pro to know a pro. Consider me a friend, Anon: you have instantly become one to me, and I bet not only to me.

Everyone, a round of applause for our unexpected guest!

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Marcel AUs ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ I hear you calling in the dead of night by Thelonelycoast / @peachbottomprince {M, 72k}

No one really notices Marcel Styles. In fact, Marcel’s so invisible that if his teachers don’t call on him in lessons - and they rarely do - Marcel can go whole days without speaking to anyone other than his mum, his sister, Gemma, his cat, Dusty and the school librarian, Alma. And if he just so happens to have a tiny, miniscule crush on the footie captain, Louis Tomlinson, well, that’s no one’s business but his own. Until Louis notices him back...

2️⃣ Our Lives, Non-Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey {E, 113k}

Heralded as the next Neil Gaiman, Louis Tomlinson does not appreciate being told that his very serious novel is in dire need of a PR boost. Even worse, that it comes in the form of a joint book tour with the UK’s #1 online romance-writing sensation Marcel Styles. Already turbulent at best, their partnership takes a drastic turn when, overly stressed about his looming deadline, Marcel accidentally blurts out a secret: though he’s famed for his scorching hot literary love scenes, he is, actually, a virgin.

Convinced that the only way to rid himself of writer’s block is to gain some experience, Marcel asks Louis, author-to-author, to sleep with him – for Science. And of course Louis agrees because, well, what on Earth could possibly go wrong?

Or, a lesson in romance that proves that sometimes the best love stories aren’t always by the book.

3️⃣ But Why Wonder, Why Wonder? by @100percentsassy {E, 30k}

The one where Marcel Styles has improbably landed a job in the fashion industry, and Louis Tomlinson is the actor-turned-lingerie-designer he’s been infatuated with for years.

4️⃣ Kings by dolce_piccante {T, 13k}

Marcel receives an invitation to his ten year high school reunion, which brings up some painful memories of his youth. His lifelong best friend and roommate, Louis, is as supportive and kind as ever, but Marcel still has hesitations. Louis was Prom King. Marcel...was not.

Will Marcel make the reunion a night to remember with his former classmate, Zayn, who is newly wealthy, handsome, and reveals his childhood crush on Marcel? Or will Louis finally realize what everyone else has known all along?

5️⃣ blinded me with sweater vests by veterization {T, 13k}

Marcel really is the geekiest person Louis has ever seen with that gelled hair and that horrendous sweater vest, so it sucks that Louis really, really wants to get to know him.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Marcel (series) by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel {E, 49k}

“Marcel!” Niall chirped through the phone, answering on the first ring. He was always so damn chipper. “Don’t tell me you actually want to go out tonight?”   Niall may have been Marcel’s best friend since primary school, his only friend really, but the urge to murder him got stronger with each passing day. “Why did you give my number to some guy you work with?” Marcel blurted out, completely ignoring Niall’s question.

“Oh Marcey,” Niall said, his voice getting softer, but still loud because it was Niall after all. Marcel rolled his eyes at the nickname. It was something Niall picked up from Marcel’s mum and he hated it. “Louis is a really nice guy and he’s exactly your type. I thought you’d be up for it.”

Or the one where Niall gave Marcel’s number to someone he worked with and Marcel wasn’t too pleased about it.

💎 STRANGE HAPPENINGS AT THE DAILY PLANET! by @helloamhere {M, 31k}

Companies like LexCorp think they run the world. Louis does not think that anybody in particular runs the world; the world is a mess that no one is above, not even Lex Luthor, CEO and scion and heir to the empire, billionaire and genius. He’s walked around Metropolis like some kind of superhuman since Louis can remember, since they were both kids growing up in the city.

Nobody is superhuman. Everybody has a weakness. You just have to be persistent enough to find it. Louis cannot wait.

//

A Superman/or a Daily Planet, AU.

💎 I Love You (From My Head To-ma-toes) by yousopuglywrites / @yousopugly {E, 26k}

When Louis is dared to ask out the attractive Man in the Sweater Vest at the pub, he certainly doesn't expect their relationship to bloom the way it does. Featuring a dare that isn't really a dare, too many vegetable references, and two silly boys falling in love.

💎 Perfect Sky by @haloeverlasting {M, 11k}

Deep, deep down, Louis knows Niall hadn’t meant to do this. He knows that this really was a last minute conundrum Louis had found himself in. Louis could’ve muddled the dates just as easily as Niall could have misremembered them. This hurts for other, more difficult reasons.

This hurts because it was supposed to be Louis’ honeymoon.

Louis meets Marcel at the lowest point of his life. A few poorly timed jokes, and a cigarette (or twelve) later, Louis starts to think love’s not a sham after all.

💎 Do I Wanna Know (If This Feeling Flows Both Ways) by @fallinglikethis {T, 3k}

Marcel desperately wants Louis to like him so he lets Niall make him over. But will he still want Louis if he likes Marcel better after the makeover?

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

do u have hcs for sams post canon family life

Ok so gonna preface this with the fact that I hold opinions that I think are relatively uncommon in this corner of Samblr which is that as a general overarching thing Sam was relatively happy, he and blurry partner stayed together and were mostly happy, and Sam was on the whole a pretty good dad. Not that everything was perfect, far from it, but that generally it all worked out ok. I feel this way mostly tbh because if I didn't I would genuinely struggle to get any enjoyment out of the finale. I'm a FAKE Sam suffering enjoyer lmao. It's already deeply fucking depressing to me to imagine Sam spending eternity in heaven with Dean being squished back into The Roles, I need SOMETHING so cling too lol.

ANYWAYS that being said:

Said this before but although I am fairly flexible on identity of blurry partner my personal favourite thing to come back to is that she is Amelia. So I'm gonna run with her for the rest of these.

Related to this is that I think when we see Sam leave the bunker in the finale to go on the hunt in Texas that ended up being the last time he ever returned. He didn't mean it to be, it just happened. Maybe subconsciously he knew because he'd packed the little memory box with pictures etc in the trunk of the Impala without thinking about it. Anyway keeping this on track, he ends up staying in Texas and eventually, he and Amelia run into each other again - her having left Don again after things didn't work out a few years ago (gonna be real with you I think Don was abusive) and end up reconnecting.

Riot and Miricle are kinda grumpy but tolerant about each other.

They also eventually adopt an old lady tabby cat from the local shelter who absolutely terrorises both dogs, but dotes on Sam.

Sam ends up telling Amelia the truth about his life about 3 months into their relationship restarting, not all of it, but enough to keep her aware. She says that honestly even though it sounds crazy it makes a LOT of sense of how Sam was when they first met. This is the point at which they decide they do want their relationship to last and be serious. Amelia suggests they do couple's counselling together, given both their past issues if they really want to make this work.

He and Amelia never marry for a variety of reasons, but it works for them.

Sam ends up getting a degree - I think in something like anthropology (me an archaeologist totally not biased here lol), he does it through a distance learning program so mostly online but with some in-person classes and workshops.

DJ wasn't a planned pregnancy and it took a lot of discussion between them to decide to go ahead. Sam in particular was very anxious about the idea of being an actual dad to an actual baby, as much as he was kinda one to Jack he knows this is a whole different level. Amelia never wanted kids with Don. Amelia is also in her 40s by the time it happens so there are extra potential complications to consider. In the end they both agree that they want go ahead, and they both acknowledge that this will probably be their only kid.

Already mentioned Sam and DJ being autistic elsewhere but that's very precious to me.

Sam does struggle to find a balance between making sure he's there for DJ in a way his dad wasn't for him and being too much of a helicopter parent. He's SO conscious of DJ being an only child and the potential for loneliness stemming from that (absolutely projecting his own childhood loneliness SO hard and of course, his ideas on sibling companionship are NOT normal lol). As DJ get's older Sam does manage to relax a little, although it is still an issue from time to time.

That being said as I mentioned previously re the autism headcannon this level of worry also means that Sam puts in SO much work and research into being a supportive dad to an autistic kid.

Amelia is the 'breadwinner' in the relationship, continuing to work as a vet, Sam works a series of different part-time jobs over the years, mostly involving fixing stuff. After he gets his degree he works a couple of days a week at the local library as an assistant.

Related, finally stopping hunting gave him time to really catch up with and assess his body, and a lot of the weight and wear and tear of what he'd been through hit him quite suddenly. He has chronic fatigue issues in particular for the rest of his life which is why part-time work ends up being the best solution for him. Although Amelia, and DJ when he's a teenager, do still frequently have to sit him down and force him to stop trying to do too much at once.

Amelia passes away before Sam. She had been dead for about 5 years by the time Sam died.

Sam keeps very little contact with the hunting world, but Jody does still come to visit. DJ is very fond of her, much to Sam's delight.

The first time Sam had to look after DJ on his own after Amelia went back to work full time and was working a nightshift he was stuck to him like glue, Amelia came home to find him curled up on the floor asleep right next to DJs cot.

Sam loves helping DJ with his homework, and DJ loves it too - its their special time together, and its when Sam is able to be most emotionally open and present.

Sam's issues with food never go away, and its one thing he and Amelia do get into fights over is Sam (unintentionally) putting some of his issues on DJ (think Sam telling Jack he shouldn't eat sugary cereal).

Sam and Amelia both discover a love of gardening and they spend a lot of their free time together working on their garden. Amelia particularly loves roses and has a little rose garden that becomes their little sanctuary (Amelia's ashes are buried there). Sam creates a little healing herbs garden, he doesn't actively practice witchcraft but he likes to make little tinctures and teas and stuff.

I'll stop there lol