#this is a spoiler but somewhere very far down the line the two male leads confess their love so!! yeah

[thegoddamnhat]

just started reading the case files of jeweler richard (i remember watching the anime a few years and just never had the time to read the light novels) and i'm so mad at how underrated this series is, it's so lovely! it's just very warm and therapeutic and full of gentle care, i wish more people knew how good it was!

the official english translations for the first 8 novels are out and i think the 9th is being released soon! please read it - it touches on so many important issues and is just a delight to read!

[teyvattherapist]

Hi! Do you remember the headcanons of the god of fate request you had?

Can I request the same but with Kaeya, Venti and Childe.

Still male reader :)

This is a part two to this piece >God of Fate< So for more context, go check that one out first!

Thank you for the request, this whole idea comes somewhat easy to me, then I immediately get nervous it isn't what you want haha! Oh well! I hope you enjoy<3

Tags: m!reader/Kaeya, m!reader/Venti, m!reader/Tartaglia, Khaenri'ah spoilers, Kaeya spoilers, Tartaglia's real name, Venti's real name, God!Reader, angst if you squint, canon typical violence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khaenri’ah wouldn’t have had any survivors if it hadn’t been for a particular man that seemed unfazed by the battlefield the once prosperous nation of humanity became. Neither Khaenri’ahn nor from Celestia, simply an outlander. Despite showing great fighting prowess and strategic skill, Khaenri’ah had still fallen under the watchful gaze of the man. Of course, this was just a legend, a small rumour only known by the most curious of historians or academics. And even then, it’s debated. With the legacy of Khaenri’ah long gone, all that was left was anecdotal evidence.

Kaeya Alberich

-His biological father told stories of a man dressed in the silk of the Gods that drew steel against steel in the war of Khaenri’ah.

-He didn’t really believe in that though, to him, it was just that. A story. Just a fairytale to explain what time had lost.

-Kaeya had almost completely forgotten these fairytales, his childhood a hazy blip he did his best to forget. But the oddest stranger arriving in Mondstadt made it hard to forget certain aspects of those stories.

Kaeya slid into the seat across from you, sliding a wine glass to you. You raise an eyebrow at the suddenness of the situation, eyes flicking to the glass of glorified grape product. “You’re new to Mondstadt right? I’m the Cavalry Captain, Kaeya, I’d be happy to show you around.” His voice was smooth, suave as if he were hiding something. You picked up the wine glass, sniffing the wine. Mortal food and drink always smelled so weird. Tasted weird too. Kaeya watched you with a curious eye and you hummed, setting the wine glass back down.

"Kaeya Alberich right? I knew your father."

"Master Cr-"

"The other one." You smile at him, sliding the wine glass back. "I don't drink this stuff. Thank you though." You pulled your sleeve up, checking one of the watches on your wrist. Kaeya seemed taken back and you wondered if you perhaps misjudged his ability to lie. He seemed to recover quickly enough, eye narrowing at you. "Do you have questions, Captain? Or may I return to my work?" Work. Yes. That was one way to describe the recording of history and fate itself. A job.

"So it is you. You're real." Kaeya dropped his voice as you picked your book back up. You give him a short nod and he sits back, processing the turn of events. Fascinating, how many people you've run into who know of you. A stark difference to the last time you had been in Teyvat, recording the fall of a nation. "Tell me why you're in Mondstadt." Kaeya dropped his pretense, much preferable to you. You merely shake your head, it isn't your place to discuss the fate of Teyvat and the endless routes that will lead to it.

Venti

-Much like Morax, Barbatos had fought you in the war. Unlike Morax, Barbatos didn’t let his surprise stop him. Barbatos recognised your divinity, but elected to ignore it in favour of drawing the bowstring back.

-What was more surprising was his arrow being deflected by something he hadn’t seen before, that was when he realised you weren’t a rogue from Celestia but an outlander from somewhere else entirely.

-That was years ago though, he didn’t talk about the war, and he wished desperately to forget it. Barbatos opted to up the persona of Venti the Bard instead, but upon his return to Mondstadt, his past would follow.

Venti’s eyes widened when he pushed the tavern door open, his eyes immediately drawn to one of the visible tables, the cavalry captain sitting with a strange and far too familiar man. Feeling eyes on you, you lifted your head, making eye contact with the teal eyed bard. Kaeya turned his head to look over his shoulder at the bard. Venti drew closer when Kaeya beckoned him to do so. You watched as the God of Freedom sat down beside the Khaenri'ahn captain. So many familiar faces indeed.

"Hello Bar-"

"Venti, actually. Long time no see."

"Venti, alright. Yes I believe the last we saw of each other you tried to kill me." You tapped your pen against the leather bound book on the table, a small smile on your face. "No hard feelings, of course. I had stepped out of line anyway." Your revelation surprised the God, the sight somewhat satisfying. Venti swallowed thickly, grabbing the abandoned wine glass, he downed the beverage. "Well fate waits for no one, I have to go." You stood with the book in hand. Venti watched you intently as you left the tavern, the bard gesturing to Charles for more wine.

"Have a bad history?"

"He deflected a flying arrow in the middle of a battlefield, he's terrifying." Venti shuddered, shaking his head. While his Geo counterpart may have been curious of the God's appearance in the warning letter he had sent to Venti. Venti was anything but curious. He didn't want to know why a God from a different world was once more patrolling the land of Teyvat. Especially now that his gnosis was gone, he didn't want to know what it meant or what it could possibly imply.

Tartaglia

-Tartaglia knew the Gods were around, he served one. But regarding Khaenri’ah or that cataclysm he wasn't entirely sure. His time in the Abyss was spent solely focused on surviving.

-He was never really in a position to learn about any of that, living life blissfully aware of worlds outside of his own.

-Then the Traveler showed up and he heard whispers of them being from beyond, then they were followed by a man in a cloak made of material he had never seen before.

-And well the Traveler was a good opponent, why not this other stranger?

You lifted your head, eyes curiously looking ahead. There was a rustling above you and you slipped off the rock just as an arrow hit where you had been sitting. A tall ginger jumped from the tree, drawing his bowstring back once more. You clicked your pen, the item turning into a sword that was then used to skillfully cut the flying arrow in half. "Your form is sloppy.." You sighed, flipping the sword in your hand as he readied another arrow. "I'm not going to fight a human, is there something you need or are you just suicidal?" Another arrow flew by your head, embedding itself into a nearby tree.

Your words seemed to dawn on Tartaglia who lowered his bow slightly. "Human? You're a God? That'll just make this win more rewarding!" The ginger readied his bow once more. You just wanted to take a nice rest in the Snezhnayan forest, but of course it wouldn't be that easy. Before he could knock another arrow something invisible wrapped around his wrists, tightening until he had no choice but to drop his weapon into the snow. When the occasional ray of sun hit the clearing they were in, the invisible thread around his wrists shimmered an ethereal gold.

"I'm just.. a keeper of records. There are more enjoyable Gods to fight. Now if you don't mind." You flicked your wrist and the ginger was brought to his knees much to his chagrin at the turn of events. Your pen returned and you tucked it securely into your pocket. For a moment you just stared at him and he stared back, dull blue eyes boring into your very soul, or perhaps lack of. "Well. Nice meeting you in person, Ajax. You should keep up the work on the anger issues." You turned to leave, listening to him struggle against the binds.

"How do you know my name?"

Oops.

"I know everything and nothing!" You wave over your shoulder, snow crunching underfoot as you leave him in the clearing alone. Tartaglia watched your retreating form until he couldn't see you anymore. And it was then that the invisible threads retracted, allowing him to gather his weapon and give his wrists a quick rub to ease the sudden stiffness.

In your multiple times to Teyvat, it would always be the world that proved most in need of intervention. Though that wasn't part of your job description, you couldn't help it. Even the sky above warned of the brewing storm that would take the continent by storm. Most recently it had been the Cataclysm, this time? You weren't sure which way Teyvat would lean. Too many possibilities, too many options, and none were yours to make.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!

OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:

Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)

Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip

Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate

The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen

Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?

Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)

There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world

Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?

They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?

Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream

“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line

I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura

There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere

Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one

There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?

They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?

Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?

Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!

Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol

Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao

Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?

Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign

Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead

Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams

They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?

Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.

There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it

Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary

This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for

Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way

Tary’s dad sucks

He writes a book

Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it

Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?

When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast

He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao

Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny

Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)

Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him

Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think

“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!

There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry

They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead

Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay

Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too

And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess

Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)

Assumptions!!!!!

More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of

The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?

Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam

Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura

Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires

Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral

Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair

I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)

From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.

Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE

Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.

There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan

It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao

Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup

It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break

It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces

They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth

I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory

I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones. 

I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however

My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”

I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?

This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc

Let’s see if I’m right

[alchemistbee]

Flowers and Chimes

「 Five Hargreeves x Reader 」

N/A: This took me longer than expected, but it was another idea I had laying around. Here Five is aged up to be around 16-17, like the reader. The main idea was that reader in an ex-Commision agent who happened to escape, and Five finds them. I apologize if it’s confusing I am not the best writer. And if it’s too long :”) sorry for the grammar errors! Hope you guys enjoy it!

Summary: After Hazel leaves an address inside Five’s pocket he decides to investigate where or to whom it leads him to. The last thing he expected was to stumble into a familiar face.

Warnings: Swearing. it takes place during Season 2, so expect slight spoilers if you haven’t watched it.

Words: 1902

[ gif taken from @thisgameissonintendo ]

The Commision was a high secretive organization that’s whole goal was to keep time and space flowing correctly. It was like knitting, one wrong turn and the whole piece was ruined, that’s what their agents were for. To make “corrections” in the timelines, to make sure the game was kept intact. Whether it was something or someone who messed up the time lines, the commission would gladly take care of it. Their team of agents were the best from the best, and you were no exception to that rule.

Your years in The Commission had turned you into the perfect killing weapon for them, something they took pride on. The agency considered you to be one of the most skilled agents they had, agile, quick and sharp, gifted with enhanced intelligence that couldn’t compare to anyone. Above that, you were loyal, for almost 42 years you had worked under their wing, they had no reason to suspect you would have left out of thin air.

Taking in at seventeen, very young, not as young as Lila, but after watching you for some years the Commission had concluded that you were quite...special.

After Five’s famous escape, you had decided that it was your time to do so as well. You had only met the man a few times, shared one or three missions together that were tasked by The Handler. Strangely, she had made everything possible to keep you two from being partners, but it hadn’t been enough to stop the two of you from sharing a few moments. The man was quite grumpy and arrogant at times, but that didn’t seemed to stop you from having conversations with him. never

Apart from being a skilled assassin and being able to take the soul out of a person’s eyes in a single second, you were a very bubbly person. You were what people considered too good, kind, and Five was quite amazed someone like you worked for such a horrific place, but at that time, he didn’t care enough to ask the why’s of it.

Your escape hadn’t been an easy one, not at all. When Five escaped the security increased, you had to be patient, and once an opening made its way to you, you didn’t let it slip away. Between all the commotion, the briefcase you had stolen malfunctioning after getting shot mid-traveling. It caused you to not only go too far back in time, but your body too. In any other circumstances, you would have been completely upset at the fact that you were stuck back in your teenage physical body, but the more you thought about it, the more you realized it was an advantage. Commision wouldn’t know, and you were sure you could find a way to go back to your body eventually.

There you were, stranded in Dallas, Texas for three years now. You had found an old cabin to live in, not too far from the city but not to close either. You didn’t want unwanted attention to come your way. It was 1963, quite a busy year for the Commission considering the assasination of Kennedy took place here. They wouldn’t notice your insignificant presence, and if they did well, you weren’t considered one of the most dangerous and skilled agents for nothing.

What you weren’t aware of was of the mess your old un- official partner Five had let loose. He broke a fabric in time, changing the timeline and moving the apocalypse from 2019 to 1963. You had felt the shift, but without the knowledge of what it meant, you hadn’t paid the slightest attention to it.

——

Five shut the car door behind him, his eyes carefully studying the small cabin in front of him and glancing down to the poorly folded piece of paper in his hands. He found this address written alongside the cassette Hazel had hidden in his pocket. He knew that whatever was here would help him save the world, or at least find information related to it. After all, Hazel wouldn’t have used his last seconds to shove a random address. It had to be connected.

Shaking his head, Five shove the note back to his pocket as he made his way inside the property. The house seemed quite old, but it was clear that someone lived there due to the good state of it. There were various flowers decorating the front of the house, windows and roof. There was no way those flowers would be able to live by themselves unless someone took care of them. On top of that, the place echoed with the soft tones of the wind chimes clanging against each other, they looked fairly new, or at least to be cleaned regularly.

Strangely, the flowers placed on the area gave him a familiar feeling in his chest. The wood creaked under his shoes the moment he stepped into the porch, he leaned closer to the door in hopes of getting any clues of what was inside, but as much expected, it was too dark to see correctly. Without thinking it twice, Five easily teleported inside the old cabin, almost stumbling on his feet when he landed on the misplaced rug that rested in the center of the room.

The brunette male guided himself inside, where he viewed the interior of the place. It was quite normal, the kitchen was clean, with a few coffee mugs still inside the sink, the living room was a bit dusty, but nothing that couldn’t be taken care of with a few cleans. There, his eyes caught one particular wall that looked pretty much like Eliot’s whole place. There were numerous newspapers pinned to the cardboard, numerous names, maps and photos of people connected with red strings, and on the table near it, yellow folders. The person who lived here, you, were looking for something...or running from something.

He scanned the loose papers on the papers, noticing the small written notes in them. Five squinted his eyes at them as he found the handwriting...familiar. The answers had to be here somewhere, a key or tool to help him stop the apocalypse he brought with him. What was Hazel trying to tell him? What did he want Five to find in this place?

While the physically teen boy strode through the small space, you happened to arrive from the long way of work. Unlike others, you didn’t own a car and wasn’t planning on doing any time soon. Besides, being stuck in a teen body didn’t make it any easier to get a car. The chance of getting stopped by the cops was high, and you didn’t own any paperwork that would make them turn their heads from you. With new groceries in hand, you had walked down the same sidewalk that led to your place, soon noticing a un-familiar blue car parked in front. You quickly felt your body tense, the only thought running in your mind being that commission might have finally found you. But how? You had been careful all these years to stay off the radar, and there was no way that this year, with so much going on, they wouldn’t be focused on you.

You were smart enough to go around the house instead of entering through the front. Dropping the groceries in the back, and silently opened the back door that led inside. Whoever had passed your property was going to have a bad time. You shut the door slowly, surely making no noise as you took light steps through the small hallway. You could hear steps inside, things being moved and placed back. From the corner of the wall, you managed to give a quick glance at the person who had intruded your home; a young boy dressed in what seemed to be a school uniform. You felt your heart start to rise, unsure of what a young boy would be doing investigating your things. Yet, you knew better than to let your guard down, it was never too late for the Commission to hire and manipulate children to do their bidding.

You sneakily made your way into the kitchen, grabbing the nearest pan at your reach before swinging it toward the boy without a warning. Surprisingly, The boy felt you coming, and just in time was able to dodge what might have been a horrible concussion “Shit!” You heard the boy mumble under his breath, quickly to a fighting stance while looking at you with a fierce glare.

“How did you get here?!” You held the pan tightly between your hands, ready to throw another swing “Get out of my property kid! They sent you, didn’t they?! If they think I’ll hesitate to end you, they are completely wrong” you threatened, keeping a close watch on the boy, trying to decipher his next move.

Five squinted his eyes at you, slightly tilting his head with confusion as to why Hazel had sent him to the house of this crazy person “What? They?-“ Five tried to take a step forward, but was only met with another swing from your part. He quickly tried to get a hold of the pan, throwing it across the room thinking that you wouldn’t fight without a weapon. He was surprised to be wrong when he felt you kick him in the stomach, throwing him backwards against the table.

Five groaned, his eyes flushing with slight anger, he had just lost any respect he had for you. If you wanted to fight, a fight you would have. To Five’s shock, you were better than he had expected. You had managed to dodge many of his fists, his kicks, while he had been met with a few unpleasant hits. He definitely was beginning to think that Hazel had done this out of a cruel joke to get back to him for all those years.

You were fierce. You were skilled, quick and agile like him. Could it be that you…? He felt his back fall against the floor, the heavy weight of your body against him as you held a knife in one of your hands “I guess Commission has lost it’s touch, huh?” You smirked down at the boy, seeing his eyes widened with stress when you lifted your hand with the knife in hand. You weren’t hesitating, you were going to kill him.

“Commision? Wait!-“ Five yelled, but as he saw you were not stopping, he turned to use his last resource. In a matter of seconds, the knife went down, but instead of stabbing his chest, it got stuck in the wood under him. Five teleported out of your grip, flashes of blue appearing behind you, and without hesitation, Five wrapped his arm around your neck from behind, holding you still from making any more swings at him.

That’s when realization hit you. You knew this boy. You recognized the blue flashes. There was no one in this world who could teleport like that besides one grouchy man. How couldn’t you have realized before? He had the same eyes, the same fighting style. This boy was—“F-Five?” His name left your lips quickly, and in that exact second, you felt Five lose his grip from your neck. He took a step back, watching his eyes widened as realization slowly hit him. He begun to recognize who the person in front of him was, his eyes completely filled with shock and relief. It...It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible.

“(Y/N)?”

It suddenly clicked to him. Hazel hadn’t given him this address to search for information, he had given him this address to find...You.

[jeongyunhoed]

Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia

Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.

Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy

Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol

Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.

Author’s Note: Again, interesting things happen when you wing it. Look out for a cool fight scene, I think one of the best fight scenes I’ve written if I do say so myself. It was a challenge to write Yunho’s though, spoiler alert. But I hope this chapter brings us closer to a possible conclusion, or at least gives us an idea of how things could end. 

Masterlist

Chapter 7

Yunho could see the horizon from where he stood, feeling the wind come east, swooping by him. This was where the portal brought him. One moment he was at the grounds of the school, and the next he was in this town that seemed deserted, looking like something out of an old western movie. It reminded him of the place where cowboys were, and for some reason, it reminded him of his time in Morocco. 

He needed to look for a way out, or a way back, realizing what he heard. Mirae had refused to join them, out of Ino getting Baekhyun out of the way, out of the fact that they probably wouldn’t keep their promise of getting him and San back to her. He knew what was going on, only he didn’t know how to get out and not even his teleporting might help as he didn’t know where to go. 

Yunho closed his eyes, trying to hear Mirae again in the hopes of reaching out to her. He wondered if her refusing Ino meant that she was back, back to being the person he knew her to be, if she was back to being the person who could only grieve without getting people hurt. 

As he opened his eyes, Yunho felt a strange pounding in his chest, as if he was nervous. The surroundings had changed, at least how the village he found himself in changed, as he could still see the same dirt road ahead. Everything was a lot more colorful, shades of blue mixed in with the shades of rust. The rest of the colors seemed to be in the fabrics of stalls near buildings that were castle-like. 

It was like he was back. Back in the place where his immortality, his mutant gene took effect. The only thing that seemed to be missing were the scorch marks and patches of blood, even his own wounds. 

Yunho remembered the days of hiding out, disguising himself countless times to blend in. But he also remembered the times his teleportation would fluctuate whenever he was hiding in dark street corners at night, unintentionally scaring off children. He felt a nervousness that he hadn’t felt in a while, a feeling of dread as he looked around the deserted village. 

“This is taking you back, isn’t it?” 

Ino suddenly appeared in front of him along with Ten. Yunho stopped in his tracks. “Mirae made the wrong decision in refusing to join us. I have to admit, I feel disappointed,” The elder male said. 

“You feel disappointed? What about Mirae? What about Hyuk? What about Chanyeol? What about us? You betrayed us, betrayed our trust!” Yunho’s voice was raised. “You think you have the right to feel betrayed? You?!” 

“Hyuk and Chanyeol’s deaths were the price to pay in order to move our agenda forward. It’s time mutants really had some influence in the world. We’ve got powers, everyone else does not. If a few mutants dying is part of the process, then so be it,” Ino insisted. 

“So all this time, the Ino that we know, the Ino that Mirae knows, is bent on power after all…” Yunho said quietly. “Then Mirae is right to want to get at you too. As a matter of fact, everyone else that’s in here does.” 

“It might be so, but just like Hyuk and Chanyeol, it is also a price to pay to move forward a greater cause, for mutantkind,” Ino said. 

“What does that make you? Are you the leader for all of us?” Yunho glared at him. 

“Uh, we’ll get around to that,” Ten pointed out. “We’ve yet to elect the leader of this...whatever this is.” 

“Well, I am quite powerful, Yunho. I thought you knew that,” Ino said. 

“What is this world coming to?” Yunho looked down. He tried to get to Mirae again. “Where is San? Where did you put him?” He asked. 

“Tsk tsk tsk, I can’t tell you that,” Ten smirked. “As much as I can’t tell you what you remember from looking at this place. Brings back memories, doesn’t it? That last mission you had, your life since that day. People you’ve met, people you’ve… killed. And as a result of your mutant ability too. Don’t think we don’t know where you’ve been.” 

“Old habits die hard,” Yunho replied, but he could feel a little tinge of discomfort at his words. 

“That, it does,” Ten was grinning. “I suppose by the way you’re just standing still, you know there is nothing you can do right now.” 

“There’s always something. Ino knows it too,” Yunho glanced at the elder male again. “All I know is, at least I’m not the one running away from Mirae.” 

Ino’s face remained stoic. “I’m no coward, Yunho.” 

“Yes you are. It doesn’t change the fact that you made everyone else do the dirty work, just like you allowed Baekhyun and Jongin to tamper with the Danger Room. You didn’t let them in, they had to figure it out for themselves. Just like how you did nothing when you knew something was wrong,” Yunho pointed out as if to taunt him.

“There is a fine line between strategy and cowardice.” 

“And you’ve blurred that line.” 

“Are we going to continue this little repartee?” Ten asked, rolling his eyes. “We have to go back. They’ll need you to start operations.” 

Yunho smirked. “There is always a way, Ino hyung. I’m not running away from Mirae, you are.” 

Ino and Ten returned to the portal, Yunho catching a glimpse of where they were going. An island. “We’ll be back,” Ten said over his shoulder, and the portal disappeared. 

~ 

Powdery white snow fell on San’s head as he tried to figure out where he was while keeping himself warm. He wasn’t sure what happened. One moment, he was at the grounds of the abandoned school, running towards Mirae who had called out to him, the next moment he was at a forked road of what was a snowy mountainside, without his harpoon on him. 

San wasn’t sure where he was either. He didn’t know if this was still part of the place that they were in, or if this was somewhere else entirely. All he knew was that he needed to go back to the grounds of the school or at least to the place where everyone else would be. 

He stood in the middle of the forked road. It seemed unlikely that cars or even people would be coming any moment, and it made him think of the possible outcomes if he chose one road. If he chose the one going up, he might have an idea of where to go. If he chose the road going forward, he would see what else he would have to deal with if he decided to go. 

San thought of Mirae, what she would do in a situation like this, and without another thought, he ran up the road going upwards, looking up from time to time to see how far he had to go. It wasn’t going to be that far, but he knew he didn’t have much time. San kept running, only to skid to a halt, almost falling over when he realized he dodged a dart. Looking at it closely, the dart looked very familiar, almost too familiar. 

“Choi San!” 

He felt a chill down his spine at the call of his name. The voice sounded just as familiar and looking at the dart and out from the view where he heard his name, he realized just how familiar the place he was in was. The more his name was called by that same voice, San broke into a run again, taking large strides up the road that would lead to the mountaintop. 

“I can’t be back here, I just can’t,” San muttered, unable to shake off the sudden pang of dread that came over him upon seeing the dart and from hearing the voice. His thoughts immediately went back to the road ahead and seeing that there wasn’t much distance left until he reached the top, his eyes and fingertips glowed. San jumped on to the side, his hands immediately boring holes into the rock with a faint crack as he climbed his way up, his feet then making use of the holes he made with his hands.

As soon as he reached the top, he saw a frozen pond, along with visibly empty tents and a broken down car. “Choi San!” He heard the voice call out to him again, and San whipped around, on alert of what may come at him from here. He could only feel the chill from the wind where he stood. 

“Gives you goosebumps, doesn’t it, the place where you came from, or, where you first ran away to.” 

San turned around. From the rocks appeared Taeyong, smirking. “Where am I?” He asked. 

“Ten thought we’d bring you back to a place familiar to you. We know more about you than you think, you know, and I didn’t even need to read your mind to know what’s happened to you before you uh, found your sister.” 

“I don’t have anything to prove to you, if you know what I’ve been through then you know what I’ve been through,” San said. “If you’re trying to get into my head right now, you’re not doing a very good job.” 

“Oh really?” Taeyong raised a brow. 

“Yeah,” San was smirking. “For instance, you probably don’t know the exact details of what happened in this place.” 

“You are insulting my intelligence,” His expression stiffened. 

“Good, because that means you really don’t know,” San reached into his pocket. 

“If you’re thinking of trying to kill me, think again,” Taeyong pointed to his temple. “Then again, it might be fun to see you try.” 

“Why don’t we try it then?” San grinned, quickly ducking out of the way when he saw shards of ice go his direction, crashing into the nearby trees. He kept running, skidding against the snow to kick the powdery ice into the psychic’s face, catching him off guard and making him fall over. “What’s the matter? Can’t keep up?” He taunted, picking up the buried chain he remembered close to the car, cracking the string of metal like a whip towards him. 

Taeyong kept backing away, sending the car up from its place and towards him. San’s eyes glowed bright as he whipped the vehicle away and making it fall to the ground, the car overheating as it fell back close to the edge of where they stood. 

Taeyong dismantled the tent, revealing what else was inside, the poles used to hold it up charging towards him. San whipped the metal poles away, catching one in time. “You’re being quite generous,” San grinned, striking the ground with the pole and sending a wave of energy. Taeyong fell over, turning into his diamond form. 

“You’re leaving me with no choice,” He said, getting back up and charging towards San, who quickly moved to wrap the chain around his neck, tugging on it tightly.

“You underestimate me. You forget to realize I am Mirae’s brother. I learned a few things from her,” San kept his hold on the psychic’s neck, squeezing the chains tied around him tightly. “Go ahead and turn back to normal, I dare you.” 

Taeyong coughed and sputtered while San kept his hold on the chains, until he burst into laughter. “Go ahead and try and kill me, my brother’s going to come after you.” 

“I’ll take that chance,” San’s eyes were still glowing and he pushed Taeyong back, the chains still on his neck as it exploded. He tossed a black disk he found in his pocket towards the explosion quick enough to whistle, the explosion growing bigger until it dissipated, with the psychic’s body on the ground. Or at least, remnants of him in his human form. San figured he tried to change back when he let go of the chain only to be met with the explosive disk he threw.  

The ground under his feet began to rumble, and San looked up, sensing the presence of more snow coming from above. The layer of snow from the peak of the mountain where he was broke off and began to slide downhill, towards where he was. San picked up the fabric used for the tent, smirking to himself at the items that he saw came from under it and jumped off the edge, using the fabric to glide down the mountain and onto the forest below. 

The rumbling grew louder as he saw the avalanche had settled onto where he was earlier. San landed on the ground, stumbling as he hit the snow, looking back up from where he came from. All he had to figure out was how to get out of the place. He wondered where Yunho was, and where the rest of them were. He needed to run. 

From a distance, he heard someone yell, followed by a strong gust of wind coming from the north. The sky had turned cloudy, coupled with thunder and lightning. “Taeyong!” San heard a booming voice from the same place. 

“Must be Taeyong’s brother,” San muttered to himself as he kept running, seeing a clearing ahead. The closer he got, the more he saw where it led to. A harbor, only the ocean was an inky black. 

~ 

Mirae stared at the ruins of the school. Now that Ino had disappeared, she had been staring at the buildings that had disintegrated because of her powers. Destruction was all she seemed to think about now that she knew who to look for. She could hear Yunho’s thoughts, having encountered Ino as he was trapped in a village Ten had created. Ino was a coward no matter how much he’d deny it. 

If they wanted a monster, they would get a monster. 

“Mirae?” Hongjoong was standing close by. 

“My dear?” Yeosang had called as well. He groaned in his place, parts of his dark hair already turning white. “I need to feed, we’re running out of time. Project Apocalypse will be activated.” 

“Save it for when we see them again then,” Seonghwa pointed out. 

Mirae didn’t speak, and Wooyoung could tell what she was feeling. It made him step forward as well. “Mirae? I know you’re hurting, and I can tell how you’re feeling…” He tried to say it as carefully as possible. 

Her eyes were welling with tears. What am I without Hyuk? Without Chanyeol? Without Jihoon? Without Yunho? Without San? She thought, as she observed the cracks in the ground. “Like a monster,” She muttered. 

Wooyoung shook his head. “No. I know you feel like you’ve lost everyone you love, but I can tell you. I promise you, Mirae, you didn’t lose everyone-” 

“It’s so easy for you to say that, isn’t it?” Mirae glanced at him. 

“No, it’s not. Well, in a way, it is, but that’s not the point,” Wooyoung said. “I’ve sensed what is most likely going to happen, and we’ll get them back, Yunho and San.” 

Mirae looked down again, her eyes and fingertips glowing. Hongjoong exchanged looks with Wooyoung, and he approached her, the rest of them carefully following behind. “My dear, your shadowy friend is right,” Yeosang spoke. “I know how you feel.” 

“No you don’t,” Mirae shook her head, facing them. “You have no fucking idea how I feel right now.” 

“That’s fair, maybe we don’t,” Hongjoong said. “But Wooyoung’s point still stands. You didn’t lose everyone as much as they’re trying to make you think. You still have Yunho, you still have San, you still have executive Kang, whatever he is to you,” He turned to the vampiric-looking mutant, frowning slightly at the changes in his appearance. “You still have us too.” 

“We followed you here. Teamwork like ours, it’s not something that can just go away, we’ve all been through the same thing in that sanitarium, remember?” Seonghwa said. “Junhong is still here too. He’s waiting for us in the van right now. Mirae, you’re not as alone as you think you are, as they think you are. You still have us.” 

“Mirae, please,” Mingi’s expression fell.

“We, all of us, haven’t been together again for a while,” It was Jongho’s turn to speak. “We’d honestly still be lost if it weren’t for the three of you finding us again.” 

Yeosang put his hand on her shoulder, Mirae sensing the coldness of his touch even through her clothes. “For so long, I have pushed away so many people, thinking that this was the only way to survive. That was until I met you. All of us here are with you, my dear. Even your technology-affiliated friend who is waiting for us outside. We will get Yunho and San back, I promise you. I only ask that you not make the same mistake towards everyone else who has grown to care for you.”

“Come with us. Please,” Hongjoong said quietly. “...We need our leader back. Just like old times.” 

“I wish it was that simple,” Mirae said.

“And it is. It can be simple, my dear,” Yeosang said. “Come with us, my dear Mirae. I promise you, you have not lost everyone you love as much as they’re trying to make you think you have.” 

Mirae glanced at all of them, seeing how their expressions were all hopeful that maybe, just maybe, their words had gotten through to her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wasn’t feeling that bubbling anger inside her, as if it was slowly getting replaced by a feeling of calm that she couldn’t quite comprehend. The feeling of calm was similar to what she felt after that time Jihoon died, along with her adoptive parents.  

It made her think of them. It made her think of what Chanyeol and Hyuk would’ve done. A part of her wanted to stay angry, but another part of her, a bigger part of her, knew that Chanyeol and Hyuk would never want her to turn out the way she was acting right now. She knew not even Jihoon would be cheering for her with all the damage she had caused so far. It seemed to be a relief that not even her home, back in the city, was damaged yet at this point. 

“One of these days, we’ll do a mission again, just the three of us.”

“Yeah, someone needs to watch your back this time. You nearly got your powers taken away.” 

“Lee Mirae, you’re getting sappy.” 

“Even with the way things ended back then. I’m glad the three of us found each other.” 

Mirae closed her eyes, remembering the last conversations she had with them. Hot tears trickled down her face. “I really wish it was that simple,” She whispered. “I want them back.” 

Yeosang could only keep his hand on her shoulder, unsure of whether to go nearer but sensing that Hongjoong was already doing the same. “I know you do. Hyuk hyung, Chanyeol hyung, I know you want them back, but they're in a much better place now, don’t you think?”

“Just as much as I want them back too,” Mirae said, making the rest of them stare at her, realizing what she meant. 

~ 

Yunho stopped in his tracks as he stepped out of one dark place to another in the village he was in. He heard her thoughts, heard what was going on with her. A small smile played across his lips, realizing what she said, why she was reaching out to him at this time. She was back, at least it seemed like it. 

Yunho ran towards another shadowy alley, trying to teleport, picturing the abandoned school, only to end up in another alley just by seeing the colored kaftans hanging from the two-floored houses he was surrounded by. 

Before he could teleport again, Mark appeared and kicked him out of the alley. “Jeong Yunho is it?” He said, seeing Yunho slide down the road, a scratch evident in his face only for it to heal completely. “A fellow external, this is excellent.” 

“Yeah, what about it?” Yunho got back up on his feet. “You do know we can actually kill each other, right?” 

“I am very well aware. Yeosang’s already weakening, it’s your turn,” Mark kicked him again and disappeared, reappearing behind the taller and punching him. Yunho stumbled to the side but quickly got back up, figuring out where Mark would reappear next. 

Yunho smirked. “Two can play this game,” He closed his eyes, letting his instincts guide him on where the other male would reappear. Before he knew it, he reappeared in another alley, and in another, and another, realizing that the sky was getting dark. “Let’s play hide and seek then! You hide and I’ll seek!” He called out, teleporting from one spot to another, stopping at the empty fountain. 

“With pleasure,” Mark reappeared, only for the taller to grab him by the collar, both of them teleporting from one spot to another in the midst of their scuffle. Yunho kept his grip on Mark, punching him several times until kicking him, the two of them reappearing and landing on opposite directions. “We have all night, Yunho, give up already?” 

“I’m just getting started,” Yunho charged towards Mark, only to vanish halfway through the run, reappearing in a puff of black smoke behind the shorter, tackling him into a headlock. “Losing your touch already, old man?” He taunted, the shorter coughing and sputtering. “Try and teleport, I’m going with you all the way.” 

Mark groaned and sucker punched him, but Yunho kept his hold on him as they teleported from one place to another. “You realize while I’m here, the rest of my friends are already trying to activate Project Apocalypse as we speak,” He coughed, trying to break free but his strength was waning. 

“Trying, they’re only trying,” Yunho kept his hold. “You tell me where the hell am I and where San is and I might just let you live,” He threatened. “You should be familiar with what happened here, since all of you know things about me.” 

“That I am,” Mark sucker punched him again before trying to poke his eyes. Yunho ducked in time to throw him off, running into another shadowy part of the place and disappearing. “This is testing my patience,” He cracked his knuckles and reappeared inside what looked like the inside of a blockhouse that he knew was still within the village. 

Mark looked around, trying to sense a presence within the confined walls of the fortified space. “You really think Mirae’s going to go back to you?” He called out. “She’s far down the rabbit hole of her rage. But I am amazed that Yeosang got through to her more than her own boyfriend,” He said, removing the blankets and the sheets from the nearby beds. “Based from your thoughts and memories, she thought you were looking the other way. I can’t blame either of you, though. Both of you seem to be much better apart than you are together-” 

Yunho had reappeared behind him, kicking him before he could teleport and knocking him down, the taller quickly kicking his leg to keep him down. “You were saying?” He asked. “Get us out of here, why don’t you?” 

Mark smirked. “Bold of you to assume I will easily give in to that.” 

“Want to bet?” Yunho kicked his other leg down, hearing the bones crack. “You teleport, I teleport with you.” 

“Alright, alright,” Mark groaned, the pain in his legs still present as he faced the taller male. “It’s clear that we are evenly matched at the moment,” He crawled to his feet, only for Yunho to pull him back down by the ankle. 

“I don’t think it’s even at the moment,” Yunho kicked his leg down again, making him yelp in pain. “You’re going to take me to Mirae, and you’re going to bring San back, do you understand? But first, I need information.” 

“Do you really think torturing me is going to get me to tell you where Project Apocalypse is located?” Mark gave him a look. 

“We’re both immortals, we’ve got the rest of our never-ending lives, and we’ve got the time, you might as well tell me,” Yunho drove his foot further into Mark’s leg. “I’ve certainly got the time to break these bones over and over again.” 

“Alright! I will have to concede in this battle,” Mark spat. “If you had any knowledge in how plans like these work, you would’ve already figured out by now that the rest of the country will be seeing our entrance soon.” 

“Mhmm,” Yunho got the idea, but he still drove his foot down on Mark’s broken leg. “Where there?” 

“The city, where else? Seoul itself is about to see once more what happens when powerful mutants like ourselves can take power.”

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Madoka, Wonder Egg Priority, and the Future of Late-Night Magical Girl Shows

  Beware! This article contains spoilers for the beginning of Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

  It is January 21st, 2011. In the shadows of a witch’s labyrinth, two girls named Madoka and Mami form a close bond. Mami is a magical girl, powerful but lonely. Madoka decides, then and there, to fight by Mami’s side. But then, in the middle of combat, the witch Charlotte transforms into a giant worm and bites off Mami’s head. Madoka’s eyes widen in shock. A broken china cup seeps tea on the ground. Smash cut to the wails of goth rock trio Kalafina as black clouds roil and a single flickering shape strides toward oblivion. Three episodes in, Puella Magi Madoka Magica threw down the gauntlet. Over ten years later, the mark it left is still there.

  Puella Magi Madoka Magica was special. But why? Not because it was the “first dark magical girl series.” Sailor Moon, the modern magical girl standard-bearer, became popular not just because of its charming characters but because the show could do things like briefly kill everyone during the series finale. Even magical girl series aimed at younger audiences, like Ojamajo Doremi, tackled subjects like the death of a pet or the aftermath of a divorce. Not to mention the infamous 46th episode of Magical Girl Minky Momo from 1983, when the titular heroine was hit by a truck! Truly, everything has been done before.

  The secret to Madoka Magica’s success is that it is not really a magical girl show. It is a suspense thriller cunningly disguised as a magical girl show. It has as much in common with Kamen Rider Ryuuki as it has with Sailor Moon, and was written by Gen Urobuchi, a former eroge game writer who ran in the same circles as Kinoko Nasu and Hoshizora Meteo. Madoka Magica is not interested in the slow process of endearment by which magical girl series ease you into the daily routines of their characters — the weekly monsters, transformation stock footage, holidays, and very special episodes. It presents as such only as long as it takes to put you off guard, and then (clad in the gorgeous raiment of art team Gekidan Inu Curry) it goes for your throat. 

    So it was that Madoka Magica became the standard-bearer of a new kind of late-night anime. Rather than “cute girls doing cute things,” let’s call this genre “cruel things happening to cute girls.” Take something charming and unassuming, like a magical girl story or a high school slice-of-life show. Populate it with fun, marketable characters. Then set those characters screaming when the real story pops out like a jack-in-the-box. The frisson between cute and scary hopefully generates enough charge to catch the attention of audiences, but  — most importantly  — audiences don’t have to reach that far to engage with it. That is because these shows are built off those same conventions that anime fans are familiar with. Those conventions just happen to be evil this time.

  As often happens in the entertainment industry, the success of Madoka spawned many copies. These projects did not have Gen Urobuchi, and they were often not lucky enough to have an art team as singular as Gekidan Inu Curry. All things considered, they tried their best. YUKI YUNA IS A HERO brought a different former eroge game writer, Takahiro, on board. Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka made its team of magical girls a proper military unit. More recently, GRANBELM added giant robots to the stew. I’d say Granbelm is my favorite of these, if only because the giant robots were pretty cool! I’d love to see them in a Super Robot Wars game one day.

    Some of the more interesting entries in the “cruel things happening to cute girls” genre didn’t have any magical girls in them at all. Selector Infected Wixoss was a card battle show about teens fighting for wishes; writer Mari Okada smartly changed focus from the cruel system tearing the characters apart to the way that individual selfishness keeps cruel systems running perpetually. SCHOOL-LIVE! featured a group of schoolgirls continuing their slice of life activities within a world devastated by a zombie apocalypse; the anime production was bolstered by a murderer’s row of writers from Nitroplus, Urobuchi’s former stomping ground. Episode 3 — a flashback to teacher Megumi on the day of the outbreak — is a genuine triumph, precisely because it is so earnest. Rather than pushing hard to shock or disgust the viewer, it allows the characters to breathe in the moments leading to disaster and lets the horror come naturally.

  Traditional magical girl shows, in the meantime, have been doing just fine. We’ve seen several good seasons of Precure and two fantastic ones, the all-rounder Go! Princess Precure and uneven but groundbreaking Hugtto! Precure. Sailor Moon’s Crystal remake seasons and movies have steadily improved after a rocky start. The first few seasons of magical idol series Aikatsu are charming and introduce a fun legacy quirk that ties together characters from different seasons. Even Ojamajo Doremi has seen a follow-up film that puts the spotlight on the generation who grew up watching it.

    Madoka’s successors, on the other hand, are in a trickier place. Some of them have been successful, others have been good, but none have recaptured that lightning in a bottle that made Madoka a hit. Even a recent Madoka Magica series based on a phone game, written by Gekidan Inu Curry themselves, came and went without much buzz.

  In the years since Madoka aired, there have been plenty of folks who have expressed their reservations about the “cruel things happening to cute girls” genre. After all, magical girl series can be revolutionary or transgressive without being cruel. Hugtto! Precure introduced the series’ first male Precure (equally comfortable wearing dresses as skating outfits) and featured a romantic partnership between two of its female leads. Go! Princess Precure’s best fight scenes are as spectacular as anything in this year’s Jujutsu Kaisen, yet remain perfectly accessible for its target audience of young girls. Madoka's progeny may have been targeted at older — and often, male — audiences, but outside of some blood and gore just a few of these series were more genuinely mature than the children’s series they riffed upon.

  Image via HiDive

  I do still see a future for late-night magical girl shows. In 2016, a weird magical girl series called Flip Flappers aired. Directed by animation wunderkind Kiyotaka Oshiyama, it featured two girls in love traveling through many strange and colorful environments in search of macguffins. Hidden inside a candy coating of marketable elements was everything from the Freudian fairy tale theories of Bruno Bettelheim, to architectural oddities such as thomassons, to occult figures like Jakob von Uexkull. Flip Flappers harnessed some of Madoka Magica’s sense of danger, putting its cast into intense and scary situations from the very first episode. But it was not a show about girls being tortured by an evil system; it was a show about girls exploring surreal dreamscapes. A new genre had been created: “cute girls doing weird things.”

  Here are the cornerstones for the “cute girls doing weird things” genre: you need girls of course, maybe even magical girls, but the rules behind their magic are nebulous. Rather than take children’s genres and corrupt them, you build out atmospheric settings, drop in the characters, and see what happens next. You give the cast room to express themselves within the bounds of the story, rather than leading them down an assembly line to their doom. The malevolence of Madoka is not off-limits, but more useful still than malevolence is uncertainty. The goal is to unsettle the viewer rather than disgust them.

  Image via Funimation

  Five years after Flip Flappers, a new show walks these same steps: Wonder Egg Priority, an original series from CloverWorks. Of course, Wonder Egg Priority is aiming at something totally different than Flip Flappers. Its spooky environments are incidental. Its main aim is, through riffing on the work of Kyoto Animation and famed director Naoko Yamada, depicting in full and uncompromising detail the difficult emotional lives of teenage girls living in the modern-day. Those lives just happen to be filtered through an anime lens of trauma manifesting as horrific creatures that have to be destroyed, and girls that need to be saved. Yet to me, Wonder Egg Priority captures the dreamlike atmosphere that Flip Flappers achieved in its best moments — the means by which characters exploring unfamiliar spaces reveal themselves in new and different forms. Despite being made of familiar parts, in execution, I think it is something new.

Somewhere between Flip Flappers and Wonder Egg Priority lies the future of late-night magical girl shows. They should not ever replace the ones made for kids; those do perfectly fine on their own, thank you very much. But in their embrace of uncertainty, I recognize a ghost of what I once felt when I first saw Charlotte’s gaping maw. The sensation that the ground had disappeared, and that — like magic — anything was possible.

  What's your favorite recent magical girl show? Are you excited for the newest season of Precure? Does Wonder Egg Priority terrify you on a weekly basis like it terrifies me? Let us know in the comments!

      Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he isn't reciting lines from Revolutionary Girl Utena, he sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at @wendeego

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Adam Wescott

[sandalaris]

LATE! but for the fandom asks: BtVS and Shadow and Bone? 💖💖💖

BtVS

my favorite female character: At the moment it’s probably Faith. Her journey and her approach to slaying has always been fun and interesting, but I’ve been thinking more about the things that lead her there lately. The bad choices she made and what could’ve gone differently with a nudge here or there.

my favorite male character: Xander Harris. I know he’s grown some hate over the years, but I love him dearly. He still one of my favorite characters of all time to this day.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season five is the best in my opinion. I’m not even sure why, but its just so good. Or maybe it’s just the last really good season of BtVS, because I feel like the show went down hill after that.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Hush is just an amazing episode. They do a lot with so little spoken dialogue, and the misdirect with Tara was just awesome.

my favorite cast member: Anthony Stewart Head, I always like him in whatever I see him in.

my favorite ship: I have my OTP, Spike/Xander, but at the moment my favorite ship is Angel/Willow. Every now and then I get back on them and need content, I’m just so damn picky about them and they’re on the rarer side ship-wise in the fandom that I hardly ever find anything I like. :(

a character I’d die defending: Xander! >:( He gets way more hate than he deserves and I am not here for it. I won’t got into a big defense now, many people have done a better job than me at it anyways, but the amount of blind hatred he gets is staggering.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Warren. It’s not just that he killed Tara, but he entire storyline is basically just him being bitter and angry that life isn’t “fair.” I’d argue that he got way more than deserved from life to begin with.

a character I grew to love: Cordelia Chase. During my first watch through, I didn’t care for Cordelia until about season three. I loved her after that, and she was probably my favorite part of AtS. 

my anti otp I will call it notp until I die!: Spike and Buffy. I shipped them for a half a moment when I stumbled across a random season five episode before I ever started watching the show. Then I actually watched the show and just wasn’t into them at all. It’s not that I don’t see the appeal they could hold for others, but they hold absolutely no appeal to me and I really don’t like the subplot of Spike being in love with Buffy that happened in season five. 

Shadow and Bone, possible spoilers ahead! You’re getting multiple answers for almost all of these, btw :P

my favorite female character: 

In the Shadow and Bones trilogy it is my girl Genya. She had some amazing lines/moments and she put with so much all for the chance at a better life. And she was this subtle badass, fighting back in her own small ways, like the method she used to poison the king. I’m a little disappointed they didn’t show the Queen all fake and plastic looking in the show considering how Genya would purposely tailor her just a little off as revenge. I still like her in the show, but she hasn’t yet grabbed me the way she did in the books. I actually don’t think I have a favorite female character in the show at this point.

Nina and Inej mostly tied as my favorites in the Six of Crows books, but Nina made me laugh more which gives her just a little bit of an edge. She’s fun and flirty and doesn’t let anyone, even Kaz, keep her from being herself. She’s also a pretty good grifter, able to use her skills with languages and her ability to read people to get what she wants. 

I didn’t actually like Zoya all that much until later on in the series (a mistake on my part because Zoya is awesome), but King of Scars made her one of my favorite characters. Yes, she’s prickly and prone to jealous sniping when her position is threatened, but she’s also unapologetic in who she is and genuinely wants what is best for her country and people and will do whatever it takes to get it. She learned a hard lesson at a young age that being nice won’t protect her and has fought to keep herself and those she loves/are loyal to safe.

my favorite male character:

I’m not positive he fits the label of “favorite” but I certainly found the Darkling the most compelling male character in the books, and he’s pretty far up there in the show as well. I probably enjoy watching him on screen the most as well, although I feel like in the show Jesper was my actual favorite male character. He was certainly my favorite in Six of Crows books, and the show version of him captures book!Jesper perfectly. 

I wanna say that Nikolai is my favorite somewhere, because I love him so much (he’s funny and sarcastic, which I’m always a sucker for in a character), but I feel like he doesn’t quite count for reasons I can’t put my finger one.

my favorite book/season/etc

Out of all of the Grishaverse, Six of Crows is hands down my favorite. It’s a heist! With young morally-gray criminals who don’t all have this nice heart of gold under it all, who break into-and out of -an unbreakable prison while spouting off witty dialogue! 

There’s only been a single season in the show so far, but I’m excited to see more!

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

Probably the episode two. There’s something about the way things were revealed and the subtle unfolding of many of the characters that I like. 

my favorite cast member: 

The only one’s who’s name I know is Ben Barnes and I only learned that when he was announced as the Darkling and Tumblr had a meltdown. *shrug* I mostly was like, “that’s the guy from The Punisher. He’s good at playing the villain, so yay.” 

my favorite ship

I don’t want him redeemed in the slightest, nor do I particularly want a happy ending for them, but I love the dynamic between Alina and the Darkling. That push/pull they have, how very alike they are even as they are very opposite, and how she just can’t shake her draw to him and him to her, although he doesn’t try as hard as she does. They have this connection, are insanely compatible, and part of this tragic appeal of them is that in another life they could’ve had that happy ending together. It’s beautiful and tragic, to see how you’ve broken something before you even had it. And there’s something so appealing for me in that, in how their feelings are this tangled mess that can’t be undone and the way they really are the only people who can fully understand the other and the bond that forges between them. 

On a lighter note, Nina/Matthias was my favorite ship in Six of Crows for a long time, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I love Kaz/Inej.

a character I’d die defending

Zoya maybe? Or Matthias? 

a character I just can’t sympathize with

The apparat. I kept waiting to see if his motives were something I could relate with in the books. They weren’t. He’s just a creepy old man who wants Alina to die and become a martyr so he can lead the church in her name. 

a character I grew to love

Probably Zoya. She seemed to be such a stereotypical mean girl in the first book, there only to make things hard on the main character, and I fell for it. She really is so much more than that.

my anti otp

I will accept the term anti-otp just this once because I don’t really have a notp for the show or books. The closest I have is Alina/Mal in the books. In the show I can actually see it and will probably aw over them when they get together, but in the books? He doesn’t seem to care of Alina at all, even as a friend for most of the first book, and gets downright petty and bitter when she’s revealed to be the Sun Summoner. But I can see their friendship in the show, on both sides, and that’s gone a long way for me. It’ll probably never be a ship I love, but I think I’ll probably grow to like it well enough.

[naruhoedou]

Transaction

---

Ryuunosuke Naruhodou/Seishirou Jigoku

Susato thought he could do it. Convincing their government, however, was a different task.

-Slight spoilers for DGS and DGS 2-

---

Of course he never thought it would be easy, least of all as easy as the Great Detective made it sound. But it was a logical decision and he was hoping that’d put things in his favor. As disrespectful as this all felt, even more so with the weight of Karuma resting in his lap, he couldn’t just let them get shipped right back to Japan. That’d be too cruel to Susato, who lost a brother apparently, when he could just sacrifice a bit of his mental health to honor his fallen friend. 

 

As he sat on the desk Asougi Kazuma wrote his last journal entry on, pen heavy in his hand, he silently thanked his literature major for his knowledge in writing formal requests. Although, knowing the format didn’t really help much when the situation was so unbelievable and complex. Did he start by mentioning how the star student of the Imperial Yuumei University lost his life by hitting his head too hard? Or that said student smuggled Ryuunosuke on board? Wasn’t the Minister of Foreign Affairs already aware of these things? Or was it just formality…

 

Would he even get accepted? If the country only chose to send the best of the best, would they even want to send some mediocre literature student for an education in law ? As these thoughts swirled and swirled in his mind, he realized he’d already begun writing. Reading over the lines he jotted down proved them to be acceptable. Now, if you asked anyone who knew him, they would say Ryuunosuke worked well under pressure. But what he did on impulse, he wouldn’t exactly clarify as such. With a heavy sigh that trembled towards the end of it in remembrance , he let his hand do as it pleased once more and the letter was completed. All that was left was a once-over by Susato in the morning... which ended in her exclaiming that she didn’t expect it to be so well written, a sheepish smile blooming on Ryuunosuke’s face as shame pooled in his gut. Noticing how backhanded her compliment was, and maybe not caring much about it, Susato took the letter and floated out the room. She’d give it to the sailors for it to be mailed out.

 

——

 

What? As Ryuunosuke held the (supposedly)formal reply in his hands, he felt a familiar feeling of shock run through his body. Now that he’d told Susato they’d gotten accepted and got her to leave, he had all the time in the world to read over this.. this personal threat of a letter in his hands. At least, until he had to throw himself into his law studies again, though he felt more like throwing himself...overboard. This was a joke, right? A funny joke from that Sherlock Holmes fellow who had somehow acquired the letter the sailors sent out a month ago, an official Japanese Government seal and also managed to copy the Minister of Foreign Affairs' handwriting and signature. Honestly, how these things kept happening to him, he had no clue. 

 

He’d heard some stories from Asougi(a pang went through his heart), about the law students both male and female who sold their bodies to get through law school. Prostitution, he’d called it. Tragically contradictory. Ryuunosuke remembered the other man smiling as he’d said it, wondering if Asougi really thought it so tragic after all. “It’s wrong to break the law you’re studying!” he heard a whisper through the room. Bitterly, “The law didn’t save you.”, he whispered back. He leaned forward, taking a deep breath as he usually did. 

 

So, what if the Minister of Foreign Affairs wasn’t immune to such attractions? It’s not like they’d meet for a long while. By the time he got to face the repercussions of the choice he was about to make, it’d be a year at least. Or however long this program was supposed to last. And, he thought he owed at least this much to the girl a few doors down. The girl who didn’t even get to be the last person to see her brother alive. He looked down. There probably was a good reason Asougi didn’t think to tell him about her, and it was no use feeling scorned by the dead. 

 

Did he really have to write a reply to this letter? He debated just ignoring it, how would anyone know if it didn’t just get lost out there? It probably wasn’t easy delivering letters to and from a ship. A lot of calculations and estimates… but he was getting off topic. He steeled his nerves and picked up the pen again. Feeling more and more like some kind of doll every second, he wrote an affirmative reply. He didn’t even want to think about Asougi getting the same treatment as this. But of course, Asougi was above agreeing to such an indecent proposal just to be able to go somewhere. Ryuunosuke huffed hysterically, placing the offending letter in an envelope. Writing back a letter of thanks was kind of normal in this situation, right? Susato absolutely could not find out what kind of.. transaction had just been made inside innocent, white envelopes.

 

——

 

He could say in good conscience that there were very few things that could surprise him anymore, especially with all that had already transpired. This happened to be one of those things. Who knew waiting with Susato for Professor Mikotoba to arrive would lead to a premature heart attack? All this action would surely end with him in an early grave. The moment of blissful ignorance that came with him not recognizing the tall, imposing man as his flittering nightmare these past few months had quickly passed. In its place was a cold sweat that persisted even as they lined up for a photograph. The man’s arm around his back was sending all signals except fatherly. If Ryuunosuke had a habit of fainting instead of his unbelievable perseverance to stress, this would be the perfect time to topple onto the floor. It might still be, the more shame-free part of his brain supplied. Surely everything would be forgotten if he caused such a ruckus? 

 

He was sure his heart would flee out of his chest when Jigoku took the moment of father and daughter reuniting to lean into his ear, making him feel the vibrations of his words, “Hello, Naruhodou-kun.” rather than hear them. Sure, it sounded kind of silly out of context, but the towering figure of the man behind him did a swell job of erasing any sense of comedy Ryuunosuke could have felt. After giving a tense but polite nod, he felt Jigoku’s hands meet his shoulders, slightly shaking with a friendly chuckle. Distantly hearing some form of reassurance being said to him, he wasn’t aware of much until they were leaving. Susato gave him a light poke on his back to get him to move. Upon feeling him jump under her finger, she gave him a concerned glance, and Ryuunosuke was once again amazed at how far they’ve come.

 

With the cold, cold sweat drying on his body, he couldn’t be all too sure that’s what was causing the shiver running through him. His fingers idly traced the piece of paper in his pocket. Probably slipped in there while the photo was being taken, he thought.

 

——

The Old Bailey was a risque place for something like this. He found himself growing colder and colder by the minute. He knew why he was here, the note was clear enough in its subtle way. The English government appointing a foreign Minister of Foreign Affairs a whole office, even for such a short stay… The line between courtesy and belittlement was truly a fine one. 

 

As he ascended the stairs, he was strangely calm. Like a death row inmate marching towards the rope. A fate he’d narrowly missed, funnily enough. His steps echoed in the grand hallway. The building was quiet but far from serene. For him, at least. As familiar as the courtroom itself had become… The rest of the courthouse, mainly the offices, would always remain alien to him. The door was large and imposing as all the others around it. He knocked twice, somewhat nervously. “Do come in, Naruhodou-kun.” a voice called from the inside. Ryuunosuke entered, closing the door behind him. He stood stock still, like that one time he had to go to the Principal’s office because he forgot his student ID number. Jigoku was no less condescending under his friendly façade.

 

The large man smiled at him, mischief burning in his eyes. Ryuunosuke thought about the door again. Maybe the scariest thing about Jigoku… was that he fit in, here. Huffing in amusement at the younger man’s refusal to sit down before being told to, he gestured loosely at the chair in front of the desk. “I’ve heard much about your cases, though I’d love to hear them from you. Would you have some tea, or perhaps… a drink?” the man’s voice was warm and rich, but it was no secret that he was sizing Ryuunosuke up, trying to make heads or tails of the man so devoted to the dead(or so bored, he might’ve thought) that he’d go to such lengths. “Tea would be alright.”, Ryuunosuke replied, voice lacking the stutter of his heart. Jigoku laughed heartily, getting out two cups from a cabinet behind him. “I had a feeling you’d say that,” he said leaning down, drawing the other’s attention to the kettle sitting on a miniature stove. 

 

After pouring the tea, the man raised a hand to halt Ryuunosuke, reaching under the desk to pull out a bottle of rum. “I’d say English tea is horribly bland on its own, no?” he said humorously. Sensing the other’s apprehension, “Oh, don’t be so shy, young man!” he said, topping both cups with the alcohol.

 

Ryuunosuke Naruhodou was a fair man. He did not leave anything out when recounting the events, regardless of how it made him look. The mix of black tea and rum burned his mouth, but it was nothing worse than some of Iris’ more experimental blends. That is not to say she made bad tea, most of her teas were heavenly, but some flavors were just not meant to become… tea. 

 

Besides that, as much as he’d like to be, Ryuunosuke was not as kind to himself as the Grim Reaper, and he did not drink. That is why, despite all his conflicting feelings, he refused any attempts to refill his cup. The older man did not seem to share the sentiment, however, for he doubted Jigoku would even remember much come tomorrow. Or maybe he himself was just a lightweight, it didn’t matter.

 

It didn’t matter because he already felt the wood floor creaking under his knees. And, as meaningless as it was now,

Close your eyes, Asougi.

 

… 

 

He swallowed up the salt of shame, tongue dragging across his lips.

 

——

 

He laid calmly, in the safety of 221B’s attic. His debt had been paid. Do you see, now?

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Iron Man 2 (2010)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, three times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Three (15% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seventeen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

A mess of illogical plot contrivances that does nothing good with the themes of the first film, but still entertaining on a basic level.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

‘Natalie’ attends to Pepper; they pass again later. Pepper and Christine trade a line.

Female characters:

Pepper Potts.

Natasha Romanoff.

Christine Everheart.

Male characters:

Ivan Vanko.

Anton Vanko.

Tony Stark.

Howard Stark.

Happy Hogan.

Larry.

Senator Stern.

Justin Hammer.

James Rhodes.

JARVIS.

Elon Musk.

Goldstein.

Major Allen.

Nick Fury.

Phil Coulson.

Jack.

Meade.

OTHER NOTES:

Naturally, Tony’s opening presentation includes a bevy of half-naked dancing girls, because Tony loves women as shiny pretty objects. Yay.

Don Cheadle is a superior Rhodey. Terence Howard was good, don’t get me wrong, but I get so much more organic personality from Don Cheadle. 

Hammer calling Tony ‘Anthony’ at the hearing is such a power move. It’s really the only power move (or at least the only successful one) Hammer makes in the whole movie.

Happy, you asked for that ass-kicking, and you know it.

“I want one.” Cool, Tony. She’s a person. If you had a respectful history with women at this point, I would let this line pass without mention, but...ya don’t. 

Pepper is VERY rude to other women. It’s not endearing.

Second-hand embarrassment over Hammer is so so real.

Ah yes, glass showering everywhere. My kind of party. 

Tony requesting a phat beat is gold. I don’t know if him cracking up laughing as he said it was scripted, ad-libbed, or pure accident on Robert Downey Junior’s part, but it’s what sells the line. It wouldn’t have been half as funny if he’d just said the line straight-faced.

If you missed the post-credits scene at the end of the first Iron Man, then this is Nick Fury’s first appearance: asking Tony to get out of the giant donut. The narrative here really treats Fury like we’re totally familiar with him at this point, and considering the extreme brevity of that post-credits scene, it’s kinda weird.

So, wildly-rich Howard Stark had his partner DEPORTED for daring to want to make money from his work? He didn’t actually do (or attempt) anything nefarious, he just wanted to get paid? And we’re supposed to shrug it off and think deporting him was the right call? Howard kept his partner’s work - including the profits! - for himself, and hung the other guy out to dry like a total jerk, and, what? The whole thing is just kinda mentioned in a throw-away fashion as an explainer, with no implication that Howard was in the wrong at all, and it’s VERY dissonant. What the fuck.

Those strawberries look very plastic.

So, how did Howard magically know to hide those blueprints to a new element in a scale model that would one day save his son from Palladium poisoning that Howard had no way of knowing he would have? This is so many levels of idiotic nonsense I don’t know how they convinced themselves to bother.

Did we NEED Happy oggling Natasha as she gets changed? Was it necessary?

It’s played for laughs, but I appreciate Rhodey making the distinction that even though he’s apologising to Tony for his own behaviour, that doesn’t make all of this any less Tony’s fault. You can be sorry for the way you personally handled something without letting the other person off the hook for their own culpability. Good, important distinction. 

The Big Bad ends up being taken down SUPER fast. Disappointing.

“you guys look like two seals fighting over a grape.”

The good: 

1. Robert Downey Junior’s maddening charisma allows Tony to be great fun despite his many and sundry personality flaws; it is charisma with the strength to carry the entire film, and that’s saying a lot because the film really, really needs the help. 

2. It may have a significant amount to do with the quality of the content being given to the character, but Don Cheadle definitely makes something of Rhodey where the first film barely gave him more life than your average prop. 

3. Tony continues to progress in his relationship with Pepper, with the script allowing space for her to be assertive and express grievances, as well as having Tony respond by actually hearing her this time, considering her perspective, and acknowledging his own shortcomings if not exactly making inroads on overhauling them. It’s not a lot, but there is at least some evidence that we’re making good on Tony’s attempted self-improvement from the first film by working on his basic respect for other people. Damn, it’s REALLY not a lot.

The less good:

1. the introduction of Natasha ‘Black Widow’ Romanoff isn’t terrible, but it’s not strong either, and I ALWAYS forget that she’s even in this movie until I’m watching it and she shows up. The narrative attention paid to how she’s ~super hot~ is frankly overdoing it - her ability to use her appearance as a tool/weapon IS relevant to the kind of character/operative that she is, but the framing hammers the LOOK HOT button so hard it all but obliterates any other presence or function she has in the story. She gets a pretty cool fight scene, but even that is so preoccupied with LOOK HOT (and is also fairly inconsequential to the plot) that it tends not to compute as a demonstration of character, and ultimately Natasha doesn’t leave as much of an impression as she could have with just a little less objectifying camerawork and a little more narrative purpose. Much like with Bruce Banner, I feel like you can ignore Natasha’s introductory film and just pick her up from The Avengers without missing a beat.

2. Also low on purpose: Pepper Potts. Where the first film gave her several plot-instrumental actions to ensure she wasn’t just ‘Tony’s annoying love interest’, this movie doesn’t try very hard to give her a reason for sucking up screen time. Low point: a gratingly unnecessary amount of screaming and not throwing Tony his suit-case (hehe, geddit?) while Happy rams Vanko with his car. The entire set-up is stupid, but the screeching (from Pepper and Happy both, really) sends it all way overboard. Happy also has no real purpose, but the difference is, I don’t care. When Pepper is one of only three female characters around - and one of only two with significant presence - I really, really want the story to give her something more memorable and functionally plot-relevant than screaming in a car.

The bad:

Everything else? This movie has no shortage of problems: it has too many plot threads, and it leaps from one to the next with no sense of cohesion or narrative pacing and then never follows any thread to competent completion. Tony is dying, and that leads to some self-destructive behaviour but ultimately has no relation to any aspect of the plot before it is suddenly and ridiculously rectified in the single most nonsensical contrivance of all the nonsensical contrivances that compose the flimsy backbone of the film. Some daddy issues are sprinkled in there like seasoning, but again, they don’t go anywhere or matter in any way, which is both weird and deeply unfortunate since the idea of Tony dealing with his father’s legacy is both a clear carry-through from the themes of the first film, and extremely relevant to the half-assed Vanko story-line. The plot (’plot’, for lack of a better word, we’ll keep privileging to call it that) doesn’t seem willing to actually get in the dirt with Howard Stark’s transgressions, against his son or against his old business partner, and so we get a handful of telling-not-showing exposition-exchanges with none of the emotional fallout or follow-through that such bombshells deserve. Justin Hammer is in there somewhere (and Sam Rockwell is good fun, but the content doesn’t rise to meet him). There’s also a hearing at the start where Tony defends his right to the Iron Man technology, but the rest of the film completely ignores all of the valid and serious concerns raised by Tony’s arrogance and lack of accountability (topics which will be revisited in future films, with infuriating results), and the obvious conversation - expanding on the first film’s themes again by looking at the Stark weapons-manufacturing legacy - falls completely by the wayside within minutes so that we can focus on the completely unfocused senselessness of the rest of the ‘story’. Oh! And don’t forget the completely awkward inclusion of SHIELD! What better way to set up for The Avengers film than to just drape some pointless extra character presence over an already overstuffed ‘plot’? 

All of it together is an absolute mess of a movie that feels kinda like it was constructed by a game of beer pong, with different plot ideas written on Styrofoam cups and the creative team way too fucking smashed by the end of it to realise that beer pong is the wrong way to build a story. In my review for The Incredible Hulk, I said there were other contenders for worst MCU film to date, and this is one of them. The Incredible Hulk at least had cohesion up until it went to pieces at the end, whereas the different pieces of Iron Man 2 are so disparate and lacking in gravity that the whole film seems to go for about a decade too long and builds absolutely nowhere in the process. The only entertaining advantage Iron Man 2 can boast is that same old saving grace, Robert Downey Junior, making Tony Stark enjoyable even when you’re not so sure he deserves to be enjoyed. It is a good advantage, no mistake. But there’s only so long you can coast on that, and only so far, and this movie abuses the Hell outta that power until we all welcome the end credits with at least a little bit of relief. 

[westworld-daily]

'Westworld' enters a new world for its second season: The revolution will be televised

A surprising thing happened in the year and a half since the first season of "Westworld" confounded and attracted viewers with its knotted story of a futuristic android uprising at a patriarchal Western theme park.

At the center of the revolt on different fronts were "hosts" Dolores (Evan Rachel Wood) and Maeve (Thandie Newton) — both of whom suffered horrific abuse and menace in carrying out their duties catering to the park's wealthy, pleasure-seeking male patrons. With the arrival of the second season April 22, the show's vision of a dark, cynical tomorrow has moved past its source material's roots of sci-fi entertainment to resemble a troubling reflection of what's happening in the country's political and cultural divides, as well as its #MeToo moment.

"It's even more relevant now. Absolutely," says Wood, dressed in a bright blue suit during a recent junket at a Beverly Hills hotel. In the first season, Dolores, a rancher's daughter who is one of the longest-serving "hosts" in the park, has the simple optimism of her programming shattered and winds up as a leader in a robot revolution.

"It certainly adds extra weight to season two, because season two is very much about the revolution and about the oppressed coming to take their power back," says Wood. "I think it could be a metaphor for any kind of oppressed group of people or minority."

Her co-star, however, is less convinced. In a separate interview, Newton, who plays the world-weary brothel madam Maeve, pauses upon being asked about the show's topicality in a changing world. She finally says, "The role was the role regardless."

But Newton also sees a metaphor in the show's conceit: "We're talking about what happens in Westworld stays in Westworld, and you can go and you can [sleep with] whoever you want, you can shoot whoever you want, you can rape whoever you want. That's happening right now in the world."

"I know without a doubt that we are not using rape as wallpaper, like some shows do, okay?" she says, her voice quickening. "I'm not being specific about which because it would not be good for my career, but do we have a responsibility? Well, it turns out we don't because nobody really applies that sense of responsibility. But I think [creators Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy] do."

The husband-and-wife creators are following up on the same objective this season that they had from the start, riffing on science fiction and western touchstones that flavored its source material (both the Michael Crichton novel and its 1973 film adaptation) while not being beholden to it.

In the first season, the dotted line connection to the film was drawn from its most recognizable figure — Yul Brynner's gunslinging cowboy in black — but the show's penchant for upending expectations was vividly illustrated with the character shifting from a murderous robot to a murderous human, portrayed by Ed Harris.

And instead of being about a glitch that leads to violence akin to "Jurassic Park," "Westworld" is more about the chaotic first steps of a new species.

"This is where our story was always going," Nolan says when asked if the current climate had any impact on their writing. "It's a Western, but it's also told from the perspective of, in video game terms, the nonplayer characters. You're dealing with the characters who have been marginalized within the world of the park itself. It's about Maeve, and it's about Dolores."

Of course, one of the most talked about — and controversial — ways "Westworld" told that story involved overlapping timelines, one with Harris' Man in Black seeking an answer to the world's puzzle while tormenting Dolores (he rapes her in the pilot episode), and the other with his younger self (Jimmi Simpson), who was in love with Dolores.

The series blurred the line easily from scene to scene, a disorienting choice that was anchored by the never-aging Dolores. The conceit was finally revealed in the season finale, frustrating some viewers who had thought there was only a single narrative.

Shuffling timelines is a familiar move for Nolan, who was in college when he wrote the amnesia-shaded short story that inspired his brother Christopher's breakthrough film, "Memento." But like that movie, the choice in "Westworld" was more than a structural gambit.

"It was rooted in the lens from which our protagonists saw their world," says Joy, seated on a sofa next to Nolan. "They did not understand when they were, you know? They didn't even understand that they didn't understand when they were.

"We didn't plot it out like, 'And then we'll be like "Gotcha!"' It came from a place of naturalism and trying to build empathy for these characters."

Of course, now that the black hat is out of the bag, Nolan and Joy don't get to use the effect again, right?

Nolan shifts in his seat with a sly smile. "Do you?"

Both are cagey about the new season, allowing that a new park — the Kurosawa-inspired Shogun World, which was teased in the last season finale — will emerge (a recently launched website "Delos Destinations" showed four more still-hidden worlds that are part of the park's corporate family) and that viewers will see the world outside the parks as well. "

The series places such a premium on secrecy that the cast often found itself in the dark during production. Wood remembers working on scenes for episodes she hadn't yet read without knowing what happened leading up to them, a challenge she called "a crazy acting exercise."

"I'm starting to think they're doing to us what they talk about doing to the guests in 'Westworld,'" she says with a grin. "Where they strip you down to your primal self and create a sense of urgency so that you're your most honest."

Though Nolan describes a season two led by a self-aware Dolores as "playing cards up" as far as what the audience understands, he still holds them close to the vest.

In April, he had a little fun when he teased on Reddit that he would release some spoilers of the new season, claiming it would help manage fan theories that revealed too much last season. The subsequent video begins with a dazed Bernard (Jeffrey Wright), who runs Westworld's programming division, waking up on a beach and ends with Wood gamely singing Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" backed on piano by prostitute and fellow host Clementine (Angela Sarafyan).

"Westworld" may be set in the future, but its taste for trolling is very 2018.

But working under such ambiguity proved difficult for Newton. While Dolores kick-started the revolt last season by killing Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), the park's creator, Maeve initiates a bloody scheme to escape the park. But on her way out, she changes her mind and returns. .

It was a twist that disappointed Newton but, she says, also keeps delivering rewards.

"I had to have no ideas for my character [during production], which was really hard," she says. "And almost a betrayal because it's like, this is mine. I made her. I stripped naked in order to present her as she truly is and needs to be. And my nudity is profoundly disturbing because of the way it's been exploited in the past, both in film and in my life, right? So it was a big deal and something I did wholeheartedly because it made sense, and I felt that it had enormous value."

She says, "It was kind of like, you know those dreams that you have where you're trying to get somewhere, and you can't run, you're in slo-mo? Your legs can't move?

"That was what season two was like."

[everettaddamsmacleod-blog]

The Player of Games - Review and Deconstruction II

In part 1, I talked about how Gurgeh is way more invested in having a dick than is normal for The Culture. Now I’m going to talk about why that has something to do with being a fascist.

Part I: Gurgeh’s a dick

Part II: Azad: Vicious but Sexy

Part III: Getting the Girl Handsome Androgynous Person

Once again, spoilers below the cut. 

Part 2- Azad: Vicious but Sexy

Jernau Morat Gurgeh is a game-player. He is skilled at manipulating a set of rules with clearly defined pieces and players, and it is in his skill at this that he finds the most fulfillment. I think this is why we see him have trouble with the biotech pieces of Azad (the game) - pieces that can change their role. His discomfort there mirrors his discomfort with the fluidity of gender in the Culture. With a rigid gender role, there is a structure Gurgeh can exist in, fulfill, and steer towards his ends much like he can manipulate and steer game pieces. Gurgeh, with his masculinity to cling to, knows who and what he is, and so knows how to dominate via playing by and manipulating the rules.

Unfortunately I think this biotech metaphor gets dropped somewhere - I’m not sure we ever see an Azadian play with them, and without the Azadian view of them, it's hard to see if there’s anything more to it. But given the rigidly hierarchical and identitarian nature of the Azadian state, I’d wager the biotechs give them trouble as well. I might go so far as to say (just...let me go here) that the general strategy for handling them would be as follows: decide what you want/need them to be based on early signals, apply stressors to mould them into that, and ruthlessly dispatch of any that cannot fit into the role you have determined for them, as deviation from the role would disrupt your streamlined, unified, top down and elegantly choreographed strategy for world game-board domination.

I might be getting to where fascism comes in to all of this. And so, a brief digression:

There are probably a million different definitions of fascism flying about these days, from “racism”, “any authoritarian political philosophy”, “a political system that fulfils these 14 vague criteria” to “a syncretic form of ultranationalist ideology developed through patriarchal mythopoesis, which seeks the destruction of the modern world and the spiritual palingenesis of an organic community led by natural elites through the fusion of technological advancement and cultural tradition”1. Shane Burley in “Fascism Today” makes his attempt with “Inequality through mythological and essentialized identity”2. I’ll also point you to the wikipedia page Definitions of Fascism to get a decent run down of the conversation.

Given fascism’s complex history and the amount of moralizing and editorializing done around it in the past century, defining fascism isn’t exactly a new problem, but it remains more of an open question than I suspect many people would like it to be. However, my current synthesis of what I’ve read leads me to operate with a definition of fascism as “a political structure that enforces a perceived natural hierarchy based on essentialized identity as key to maintaining the perceived unity and power of the nation”.

Thus, the role of race, gender, sexuality, religion, etc in fascist society is to create a structure wherein the participants know their place and their relation to those around them. They seek to minimize the variety of these identity vectors, as the more combinations/intersections of these are, the harder it is to line people up in order. Also, the more elements the people have in common, the easier it is for the people to see each other as part of the same whole. By simplifying identity within the society, a common overarching myth of identity becomes clearer and easier to attain, which unifies the people even further. The aim of this delineation, simplification and unification is clear - it makes for a well oiled, highly efficient chain of command.  

And it is this vision of the fascist state that brings us its allure. In this state, you will have a place, a role, a destiny as part of a greater, glorious whole that wields great power. You will know who and what you are. This state, and you by proxy, can achieve many great things you could never achieve while broken out into complex, distinct nodes of a shifty and uncertain nature. Simply by following and using the set of rules given to you, you can have (or rather, in a subtle and often missed distinction - you can be a part of-) great power.

Now, dear reader, you may have noticed that there are a few flaws in this vision of a glorious unified state. Chances are, if you are anything other than completely white, straight, able-bodied, cisgender, and male, when I started saying ‘you will have a place, a role, a destiny’ in the paragraph above, you had a knee-jerk reaction along the lines of “yeah, as a corpse”3. This vision only appeals to those that see their place in the proposed hierarchy as a privileged one. This vision is only appealing to those who feel not only like they do not currently have enough power, but also that they’ve followed the rules that should have entitled them to that power - and so feel cheated out of it.

It also relies on an enemy- something to aim its gleaming spearhead of patriarchal hierarchy at, something to give it grand displays of its dominance and power. Those that do not fit into its roles make useful enemies, as do neighboring states to conquer, though you can never really run out of either, both because they’re very hard to eliminate, and because the structure needs them to give it purpose. And the fascist nation really doesn’t do that well if its hierarchy, its chain of command, breaks down; if there’s any incongruity, if there is dissent, if there is a diversion from the ideal, if its pieces step outside their boxes.

As I said, a digression.

Anyway, now that we’ve set up a framework for what fascism is and who would be attracted by it, notice where our man Gurgeh is at the beginning of this book. He thirsts for glory, domination, but feels impotent and unfulfilled by the lack of stakes or “real challenge” that life in the Culture has given him. He sees himself as a clear and natural better to most of those around him, sees his relationships with women as opportunities for conquest, and sees himself as incontrovertibly and traditionally masculine. He enjoys playing around in the confines of rigidly defined structures in order to dominate them, and finds opportunities to apply the same logic to the relationships and conversations he has with people around him. He feels cheated out of a more heroic existence4.

In many ways, Gurgeh is ripe for fascistic tendencies. But, importantly, we never see him really sink into them, and in the end he learns to overcome them. So what saves him?

One - Empathy with the suffering of those who do not fit within the Empire’s molds or have been tossed aside by it.

Two - Seeing that the Culture’s approach - letting its constituent parts flourish within loose guidelines and allowing for flexibility and fluidity - can be tactically superior.

Ross, Alexander Reid. Against the Fascist Creep. Ak Press, 2017.

Burley, Shane, and Matthew Nemiroff Lyons. Fascism Today: What It Is and How to End It. AK Press, 2017.

Or a slave, or a broodmare

This, by the way, is how we have body-building, LARPing Nazis these days.

Anyway, stick around for part III, where I try to refrain from going on another tangent about social constructivism and the nature of truth to wrap this all up in a bow.

Part I: Gurgeh’s a dick

Part II: Azad: Vicious but Sexy

Part III: Getting the Girl Handsome Androgynous Person

[thevalorieclark]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi, or OMFG Y’ALL *heart eyes emoji*

I am Poe and this movie is Finn. If you don’t read any further, that is an accurate summary of my feelings right now.

I know there is so much talk about The Last Jedi going around right now and I am just one drop in a very large lake of thoughts but I can’t stop thinking about this movie. I went to a 7 pm showing last night and the crowd was amazing--a lot of clapping, whoops and cheers during all the right moments. Everyone was excited to be there and excited to see this universe coming back to life. It added a level to the experience I didn’t see coming. 

There’s a lot I want to say and examine and I know I’m not going to get around to all of it. Stuff like Laura Dern as Vice Admiral Holdo, for one. Luke and Leia’s relationship is another thing I want to write for pages and pages on. Adam Driver’s performance just in general because he is amazing in this. There’s a lot happening in this movie and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to go see it again to really sink my teeth into every moment. But here’s what I took away so far. 

I was going to try to do this without spoilers, but it’s just not possible. So under the cut are more thoughts on this, GLORIOUS SPOILERS AND ALL. 

First of all, there’s a lot of explosion-porn, which of course there is. It took about one scene for that to start. But the explosion-porn felt even more artistically prettier than it normally does. And the new worlds they encountered and created were just gorgeous. There’s an entire planet that seems to be made of crystals and salt, which for some reason turn red when walked on? I don’t know, but it’s really nice symbolism for spilling blood on a previously pristine white field. The same planet is home to tinkling crystal foxes, which were gorgeous and cute. 

There’s a lot of cute/cool alien creatures in the film, ones which aren’t “characters” per say but interact with the characters. They don’t get in the way of the plot but serve to enhance it and make every world they enter seem more three-dimensional. There’s one creepy animal that Luke milks, and then the animal looks at Rey with some weirdly sexual implication which could have, should have, been edited out. One kind of space-horse animal in particular serves as a good plot device, but also serves as this amazing indictment of the super-wealthy arms dealers, and gives Kelly Marie Tran’s character Rose a well-rounded sort of heart without which Rose would have been at risk of just being a flat fangirl character. 

Speaking of Kelly Marie Tran--We’ve got racial and ethnic diversity! Yay, I’m here for that. It’s not just white male fighter-alien-white male fighter-alien-white male fighter-woman/princess character-alien-etc etc etc. Kelly Marie Tran is an amazing earnest member of the Resistance in this! John Boyega is a wonderful nuanced man who can’t decide if he wants to be a hero or run very very very far away! Oscar Isaac is quickly climbing the ranks to be one of my favorite humans in any movie ever! 

There are women who are just... you know, there. It’s not just a room full of white dudes with Carrie Fisher being addressed as princess and standing in the middle. Leia gets addressed as General! A woman helps in Poe’s side plot... that is ultimately weird and basically useless! But it tells us so much about his character! And there’s a woman in it! Who isn’t a princess! 

But there’s still no queer characters. I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse here but I think yelling about this got us somewhere with race, so I’m going to keep talking about it. I understand there’s not a ton of room for romance in a war movie and I’m fine with that. After all, I didn’t pay for a movie called Star Wars to watch two people fall in love. That’s what’s always worked for the most successful Star Wars romantic plot lines--they never really took central stage and they always served a bigger purpose. 

But you’re going to tell me that in this entire universe there isn’t one single character who isn’t heterosexual? Are you joking? 

And all this with the Finn and Poe chemistry right there. 

I mean, would that have been so hard to lean into? Fans wanted it, the actors seemed fine with it in interviews, and it’s about damn time there was some romantic chemistry between people who were facing just normal death instead of meant-to-save-the-universe levels of death like Leia. And it’s not like the romantic plot line they gave Finn with Rose was particularly good. 

They’ve even talked in interview about doing this! JJ Abrams (in Express, so... you know) confirmed that there would be some homosexual characters in the films. So...where are they? Just like there are characters who are now incidentally not-white and incidentally not-male, give me some characters who are incidentally not-hetero. It’s time. 

Are they trying to set up a love triangle in the film? Is BB-8 the space equivalent of Poe’s dog? Who knows, but General Organa looks great. 

Finn and Rose were...I don’t know. They’re a cute couple, I guess. But Rose is framed as us, the audience. She is a normal person in the Star Wars world, and our heroes are her heroes. It’s amazing! I love this character and I can’t wait to see more of her. For her to fall in love with one of the heroes seemed both really obvious (as in, who wouldn’t fall in love with their hero?) and not earned literally at all.

The first time Rose meets Finn she fan girls over him...and then basically arrests him for being a coward. This should bring down her idea of him as a hero, right? Oh, he’s just like us, he gets scared sometimes. Nope, never see that happen. 

The two come up with a plot together to save the Rebels. Great. So far so good. They go to Poe, who sends them out while he stays on the ship to protect the Rebels the best way he knows how while General Organa lies in a coma. Finn and Rose are off to the races--literally. They go to a place that is basically the Star Wars equivalent of Monaco, which is beautiful and fun on the outside but really disgusting and amoral and horrifying once you scratch the surface. They free a bunch of space-horses who are adorable and get Finn and Rose out of harm’s way for a minute or two. Rose is in control and Finn is mostly just along for the ride.

They get on a ship, head toward the First Order ship to commit some sabotage, they’re betrayed by Benicio del Toro playing Benicio del Toro, they get arrested by the bad guys who recognize Finn from his stormtrooper days, and barely make it out alive when BB-8 comes to the rescue for the fifth time or so. Seriously, this droid is the real MVP here.

They meet up with the rebels on aforementioned gorgeous ice planet, Poe is wildly excited to see BB-8 and they have this adorable human/dog moment, and then back to fighting. In this, the odds are of course against them, and they look like they’re going to lose but Finn gets really stubborn and goes on a one-man suicide mission even though Poe and Rose are telling him to bail out. 

Rose decides to save Finn’s life, almost getting herself killed in the process. She delivers what could have been a great line: “That’s how we win. Not by killing those we hate, but by saving those we love.”* Except it’s punctuated by her kissing him, which he doesn’t even see coming, and then she faints. 

*Something to this extent. I can’t find the quote online yet, but that’s the gist.

It’s just... frustrating. Because of course the young star-eyed girl falls in love with the hero guy, who barely notices her. They make a good team but there’s no hint that he sees her that way. It’s debatable that maybe he does right at the end when he puts a blanket over her, except she’s unconscious. Plus, that moment seems to be more focused on underscoring Rey’s feelings about missing Finn and trying to figure out what his relationship is with Rose. 

You know what would have been a better outcome? Rose realizing she’s equal to the other heroes of the Resistance. Maybe she’s not Leia Organa or Rey or Finn, but her contribution matters. She knows Finn is just another human (he got scared! he tried to run!) and now she’s a hero herself. And maybe soon people will know her name. What a wonderful arc for this character! And what an inspiring arc for young girls (and young people in general) seeing their heroes and watching a “nobody” become a hero too. Anyone can become a hero, there is no such things as nobodies, you don’t have to be strong in the Force like Rey or Luke to be a hero. Strong in the Force is something Rey doesn’t have much of a choice with. Rose gets to make choices and those choices lead her to be a hero.

The kiss and declaration of love felt shoe-horned in. It cheapened the character growth both of those characters went through. And it felt like a forced way to amp up the tension between Rey and Finn. 

They also seem to be setting up Rey to have several potential love interests? She asks after Finn repeatedly throughout the movie. There’s some feeling of flirtation when she finally meets Poe. The chemistry between Rey and Kylo Ren seems mostly about being on opposing sides and trying to convert the other, but there also seemed to be a bit of attraction confused into it. They both need saving and want to save the other, and importantly they also both see the other as a potential savior. There’s a draw there, an attraction. They need each other.

And I get it--all of these (Rose/Finn, Rey/anyone, even Finn/Poe) are “Thank God we’re alive” romance. It’s “we don’t actually have much in common but we’re both here and going through this intense thing” emotion. Emotions are heightened, and so what could have just been curiosity becomes attraction and lust. I get it. That’s a very human thing. But please, fight it. Lean into romantic storylines that build up the story and character arcs overall, not undermine it. 

Okay. Goodness. And I haven’t even talked much about the main characters or plot lines yet. Y’all, this movie just has so much to chew on. 

So, Rey and Kylo Ren, or Ben as she calls him (his given name from his parents Leia and Han Solo). Their best performances are mostly with each other. A lot of the movie, plot and pacing, hinges on this chemistry and it delivers. God Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver are good together. For the first half of the movie Rey and Kylo are talking despite being in different parts of the universe because their minds are connected by the Force. It creates this intimacy that allows us to see Kylo Ren’s conflicted emotions, to get to know them both as they start to grapple with making difficult decisions in a difficult world. They finally end up in a room together, and Kylo is made to kill his “true enemy.” It’s dramatic. Finally, he chooses to save Rey and they team up to kill high ranking members of the First Order. 

There’s a moment after this bloodbath where Ben reaches out and asks Rey to be on his team; they could create some kind of new world together. Ben doesn’t want to be part of the First Order anymore, but when he asks Rey to come with him, no one really knows where that leads. Could it be a more peaceful world? We have no idea. Maybe. And I think Rey’s decision to leave and stay with the Resistance and the “old way” instead of finding a way to build a new world with Ben is going to end up giving rise to Kylo Ren being a greater power with less internal conflict. He destroyed his helmet to get away from the Darth Vader relationship, but his attempts to reach out--to Rey, even to Luke--have failed. There’s a very poignant moment when he holds Han Solo’s dice from the Millennium Falcon in his hands, but they fade away and he is alone. 

There’s some moral questioning here. There’s grey area. There’s more of a chance for change, there’s room in people for complication, difficulty, decision. Luke wears black instead of white and Kylo Ren seriously considers abandoning the path he has been on. Rey even struggles, hoping the Dark Side can show her her parents, but pulls back to do what what’s right. It makes the main characters seem more believable. It would have been nice to see more of that from the First Order side (Kylo seems to be the only one there considering things could be different), but I liked what I saw and it seemed believable. 

This movie could so easily be really political. It’s hard to ignore that the #resist movement in the US started up right as Rogue One came out and Carrie Fisher died last year, and that the movement is mainly about a fight against fascism in the same way that the whole Star Wars series is a metaphor for fighting the Nazis. In a way, the whole movie is political because it’s about a political rebellion, but there’s not a lot of politics talk in it, certainly not the way there was in the prequels. I mean, this is Episode VIII, so theoretically everyone watching knows what the war is about, but it would have been so easy for a character to give a rousing speech about making everyone equal in an unequal and unjust society. There are inspiring speeches after heavy losses, but there’s less of the First Order talking about making a more perfect society than I expected, and less rebels enumerating their cause than I expected. 

The most political moment is more subtle, and it could pass you by if you’re too invested in the explosions. It’s in space-Monaco, which has a name I can’t remember, where the ultra-wealthy of all colors and races, including alien, go to drink and gamble and drip with diamonds and generally throw their money around. It’s revealed that most of them get their money from selling weapons to the First Order. Rose reveals that her family is from this planet, and when the wealthy took over, they slaughtered her native people by testing their weapons on them. It’s a pretty on-the-nose metaphor for the way settlers treated the First Nations people they encountered in North America, and for the way the Nazis experimented on non-Aryan people in WWII, and basically for every single way humans in power have ever treated humans that were not in power. Naturally, they also treat the poor and the animals (space-horses!) horribly, beating them and whipping them. In the basement underneath the floors of glamour and excess, young boys live in the stables with the space-horses, and are treated by their owners exactly like Luke was in Episode IV. (Do you already see where this is going? Good, me too.) 

The whole city becomes a powerful indictment of being an amoral person in an unjust world. In a wonderful move, Rose has to teach Finn about it. Finn, a hero of the Resistance who defected from the First Order, has no idea what this place is or where it’s wealth comes from. It’s interesting because of the way it subverts our expectations in the US (who knows more about oppression and violence than black men in America?) and also because it changes what Finn originally saw as beautiful to representing everything he was already fighting. He had forgotten that their war doesn’t stop at the front lines, but extends to every (in this scene very literal) level society. He gets to destroy some of it, which is cathartic but ultimately doesn’t do anything because they can always rebuild; he has to return to the front line to fix this part too. Finn was scared before when he forgot what the fight meant, but we know he’s not scared now that he’s seen this. It leads directly into his suicide mission and Rose’s line about saving people we love. 

The closing of the movie sees one of the stable boys with Rose’s old resistance ring. He’s sweeping and looking out at the stars, either waiting to be saved or waiting to start fighting. He is the next in the line of Lukes and Reys. 

In some ways, I think that is what this movie is about--handing over the reigns of the previous leaders to the new. By the end, Kylo Ren leads the First Order. Luke Skywalker has died. Leia is still alive but is clearly grooming members of the Resistance to lead soon. There’s a wonderfully funny moment when we clearly see this: Poe says, “Follow me!” to save everyone, but they all look to General Organa. She looks behind herself and says, “What are you looking at me for? Follow him!” We know (not just because Carrie Fisher has died but because of what the movie is telling us) that General Organa is going to step down soon, and we’re going to be looking at a fight led by Rey and Poe and Finn and Rose. I for one, can’t wait.

[cinder-says]

~*~*~*~*~SPOILERS AHEAD!! This post contains images and discussion about bosses in the new Antorus raid. If you do not want to know anything about this raid, please turn back now. ~*~*~*~*~

Anyone who has been reading my blog for awhile that I love a new raid. There’s always something so exciting about it. There’s a buzz that you can feel in the days leading up to it. I’m no different. Whilst I’m not as tired of Tomb of Sargeras as other people are, I have been looking forward to seeing some new bosses.

So you can imagine my disappointment in missing the first night of the new raid. You’ll have noticed I’ve been quiet here again lately, and that’s because for the past few weeks I’ve been travelling for work. It’s been busy and extremely tiring (I’m not a good flyer, so the anxiety really makes it exhausting!). I was on a flight from Perth back to Melbourne when my guild walked in to Antorus for the first time on Wednesday night. It was an odd feeling. It was the first raid for the new guild (more things I haven’t talked about here…) and I was really looking forward to it. But it is what it is.

I was, however, fortunate enough to step into Antorus on Thursday night, when we started the Heroic run. We managed to clear 8 heroic bosses for the first time on Thursday night, which I was really excited about. I had been terrified for most of the night because, due to being so busy with work, I had only really had a very basic look at each of the fights. But I actually did ok. My healing was trash (also didn’t help that we were overhealing things by a bucketload!!) but I didn’t die to mechanics, so that’s good.

Anyway, we went back in last night for our alt run on normal. Except I took my shaman so she had a chance at some more gear. And more importantly, so she could take some screenshots.

When I say Antorus is epic, I genuinely mean it. This is a level of epic that I think most people haven’t really felt since Ulduar. The raid itself spans from Antorus into space and the twisting nether. It’s incredible. It’s done brilliantly, so it doesn’t feel like you’re running for a long time to get to bosses (ground mounts are allowed for a lot of the raid, which is so helpful!). Instead, you get to use the Vindicaar and the portals you see on Argus to get around.

And the scenary. Holy moly. When you go in there yourself, look up. It’s just… amazing.

The bosses themselves are a lot of fun. I really like all of them. I haven’t had a look at mythic mechanics yet (which I will need to do given we will start mythics next week!) so my thoughts are based on normal and heroic at this stage.

~*~*~*~*~SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~

Yes, I’m going to talk about each of the bosses, INCLUDING ARGUS AND THE PHASES IN THE FIGHT AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARDS. You’ve been warned!!!

Garothi Worldbreaker

This is a great little fight, and I think a nice way to start the raid as a whole. The fight is straight forward, but ramps up in damage over time, which helps speed things up a bit. The way we do it has ranged and melee stacks, which means I always have somewhere to drop my healing rain, which I’m always excited about (this will be even more important when I get my 2 and 4 piece sets from this tier). It’s good fun, though! I like it a lot.

Felhounds

I LOVE how these guys look! And what’s even better- the firey hound drops as a mount from this fight. One of my guildies was extremely lucky and got it on the first night. I’m very jealous. It’s not usually a mount type that I would go for, but I love the glowing colours.

This fight is another one that is quite straight forward, however the difficulty comes in when the abilities overlap in weird ways. For example one mechanic requires you to all stack up together, but then a different mechanic needs you to all spread out. And sometimes, those two mechanics overlap. So it makes for a really interesting fight. I think this one will be quite chaotic in mythic- I can’t wait!

Antoran High Command

This fight actually consists of 3 bosses. Only 1 is active at a time, with the two hanging out in their little pods bombarding us with random abilities. Because the active boss has vacated their pod, one of us can pop in there and use it to our advantage. It’s a great concept. We move around the room and deal with all the abilities. This is another one that ramps up in damage to the raid. It also requires a good amount of dps so you don’t run out of “death-saving” abilities. I like it a lot. I have a feeling this one will be a bit bananas on mythic too, though!

Portal Keeper Hasabel

This is another awesome fight (I’m sensing a theme here…). It’s got some great mechanics- being a portal keeper, Hasabel has a bunch of portals that open up, so the group needs to be split up to help deal with what’s in them. It’s a little like the Dragons of Nightmare fight in that way. Inside the portals there are orbs and things that look like they’re going to play a big part in mythic… we’ll see how that pans out. Again, another great fight with some simple mechanics that are easily botched.

Essence of Eonar

It’s no surprise here that I have lots of pics for this fight…

Eonar is a life-binder, so of course wherever she is, it’s going to be beautiful. This fight is quite different- there’s no one boss. We just need to defend Eonar from the onslaught of demons coming in. Because the room is massive, the team needs to split up. There’s a great ability that you get when you run into the room, that gives you wings. When you use them, you get shot straight up into the air. You can then glide around with your beautiful green wings, or you can use the extra action button again to land somewhere specific. So it makes getting around a lot faster.

I will admit, that even though this is a stunning area for a fight, it’s my least favourite in the raid. There’s SO much running around, so I can’t drop my rain anywhere, and I always seem to get lost. The changes to the fight on mythic have the raid splitting even further, so it will be very interesting indeed. but for now, not my favourite (at least it’s pretty!)

Imonar the Soulhunter

Silly bugger wouldn’t turn around for me to take his picture! So here’s a pic of his butt 😉

This fight has bombs and sleeping and racing through mazes… it’s chaotic and awesome!! It’s going to be bananas on mythic. It requires some good coordination with the team to make sure that bombs are placed in suitable spots around the room, and to make sure we don’t accidentally put each other to sleep. The fight starts on one side of the room, then he will jump over to the other side. We have to run across a bridge that is full of bombs and rolling balls and lines of death… yep, bananas. But I’m a sucked for punishment, and actually really love this fight.

Kin’garoth

This guy is AWESOME! We smash his face for awhile, then go kill some adds that spawn. Any adds that we don’t kill do a whole bunch of mechanics in addition to the boss mechanics, so it’s really important to get them down. My only issue with this fight is that I find myself out of range of the tanks a lot. I think I need to get them to have markers on their heads so I know where they are. But yeah, another really interesting fight.

Varimathras

This fight is scary. It’s a tank and spank kind of fight, which is probably pretty boring for dps, but there’s a healer mechanic in this which is terrifying. You need to always be near someone, otherwise you get a debuff on you called Misery, which makes you take 200% extra damage, but worse than that, makes you unable to be healed for its duration. Misery lasts for 7 seconds, but I tell you what, it seems so much longer than that. Watching peoples’ health go down and not being able to do anything about is excruciating!! It means people need to be sensible when they’re going to take damage- anything to help reduce the amount of damage taken is going to be really helpful for healers, because otherwise we can’t do anything until the debuff is gone.

This fight has a quick enrage timer on it, and it’s really easy to mess up. I know some people don’t like it, but for me, it’s challenging and really intersting. And bloody terrifying.

Also, it’s nice to see a male character with barely any clothes on for a change!

Coven of Shivarra

I mean, there’s so much ass here…

I’ve only done this fight (and the following two) on normal so far. It’s chaos. I’m not usually a fan of council fights, but this one has some really interesting mechanics that mix things up a bit. There are titan abilities that come in to try and hurt us, and they rotate randomly, so we have to be able to react quickly. There’s also a debuff that needs to be healed off, because if it isn’t the person with it gets stunned. It’s an interesting fight. I’m concerned I’ll dislike it on mythic, but so far, I enjoy it!

Aggramar

So again, I’ve done this fight on normal. It’s damn good fun. This one, to me, feels like a dance, and I really like it. There’s fire and explosions and smashes and thankfully at least a bit of stacking for my healing rain to enjoy. I’m excited to see this fight on heroic tonight!

Argus the Unmaker

Oh Argus. You can’t help but feel sad about how this all came about. But oh boy it’s hard to be sad when you’re surrounded by the freaking AMAZING zone. We’re in space and it’s just incredible. And this fight… this is a damn good final boss for an end of expansion raid.

The fight has 4 phases. The first phase has cones of void that need to be placed properly, and blobs of void that need to be put in the right place as well. There are also orbs of awesome that spawn that give you some buffs, which is a really great.

Phase 2 opens with a giant storm that gets rid of the void zones. We just hang out in the middle avoiding the storm. Then there are junk-rat-style tyres of void doom that make lines of death across the platform that we have to dodge. There are also bombs that get put on people that need to be dealt with… of course they have really similar names so it’s quite confusing!

Phase 3 comes to us with a WHOLE bunch of adds around the room. They start out really pretty as stars, then turn into evil adds of mean that needs to be killed ASAP. There are lines that need to be avoided and casts that need to be interrupted and adds that get specific debuffs on them to make them easier to kill.

Once the adds are all killed, Argus pulls us all in together… and kills us. Dead. RIP

It’s amazing. There’s a bit before the image above where we are pulled together in space, and locked in this big chunk of ice-like stuff… then Argus gets all cranky and smashes us in one hit. What a jerk.

But all is not lost. Eonar is here to save the day!!!

Thanks for the res, Eonar!

I forgot to take a pic of what it looks like when we’re dead! (There will be plenty of time for pics of it in later attempts, though!). While we are dead, we need to avoid running in to some little adds that are out blocking our path, and run to a tree where we can res. That tree stays up for the whole fight, which is really interesting, because it means we can die quite a few times without wiping. Death becomes a resource in a way. And it’s needed, because there are abilities that go out that will just plan and simply kill people.

The last phase is quite chaotic, and is definitely a dps race, because you will eventually run out of rezzes.

But then Argus dies, and the end cinematic begins…

I had watched the end cinematic before I went in to Argus. I knew that it would get spoiled for me before I would have a chance to see it for myself, so I watched it in advance. But watching the cinematic again after having completed the fight was something else. I cried. I really did. It was pretty emotional. Thinking about everything that had happened to lead up to that point… the people who have died (RIP Varian), and all of the battles we have had to face to get to this point, where Sargeras is finally being captured and brought to justice… it’s a lot. It really does reiterate my last post, too, about just how epic this is, and how difficult anything that comes after it will be “disappointing” to a lot of people. This was fucking EPIC. And I’m really going to miss Illidan. What an amazingly deep and interesting character. This was a really nice send-off.

So that’s it! Antorus the Burning Throne. Freaking AMAZING. Here are a couple of more pictures from the raid itself.

Have you had a chance to experience Antorus yet? What did you think? I hope you had a great time 🙂

xo

Antorus in all its epic glory ~*spoiler warning!!*~ ~*~*~*~*~SPOILERS AHEAD!! This post contains images and discussion about bosses in the new Antorus raid. If you do not want to know 

[pod7]

SPOILERS AHEAD READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL

There is a LOT to cover with this game (I spent almost four days of my life on it already), so bare with me.

First of all, for the sake of people that want to wallow in other’s negativity towards this game, I loved this game. Very few negatives from my experience. Secondly, I played this on console, Xbox One to be specific, and I’ve read murmurings that the PC version is more bug heavy, so keep that in mind. Finally, I am diehard when it comes to Mass Effect. I have multiple copies of every game, books, comics, THE HOODIE, etc, so I am obviously going to give a more positively biased review than someone who, say, had their life ruined, their partner divorced them, their kids hate them, they lost their job, etc etc because of the ending to Mass Effect 3.

The one thing that stuck into my mind in the four years between ME3 Citadel and the release of Andromeda was that they promised to get back to the exploration aspect that was missing from ME2 and ME3. When I look back to my first couple times through Mass Effect, as far as gameplay was concerned, the thing I remembered most was trying to get somewhere in the MAK0. Yeah, it could be frustrating, sidewinding up a mountain only to hit a stray polygon and tumble all the way back down, but when you finally got to something, it meant that much more that you had to work to get to it. I am happy to say that exploration, both literal and illusionary, is back.

This hasn’t been mentioned at all by anyone that I can recall outside of one article who had a minor nitpick about it, but to me one of the coolest new things in Andromeda is the massively upgraded galaxy map. Instead of basically looking at a graph and poking points to instantly go there, you and the entire Tempest make the journey to your next destination. It’s not a huge deal, and I’m sure the less patient people out their find it annoying, but for me it was a critical decision towards player immersion.

There’s also the absolutely massive maps to explore for each planet you can land on. I’ve seen some people complain that it’s not what they want in a Mass Effect game, but this was one of the first thing BW talked about in development; creating large worlds to explore and experience. So if they didn’t want that, they had plenty of time to not buy it. Also, there are more than enough fast travel options, so it’s not that big of a deal. 

Outside of Elaaden I found each world to be really cool and interesting. Eos is kind of like driving around in the American Southwest, while Voeld is an arctic wonderland with steep valleys and large slippery lakes. Kadara and Havarl stand out to me because I ended up doing a lot more footwork (Havarl specifically because you can’t drive there), so I had more time to really take in the locales. Havarl, when you’re not being mauled by velociraptors and giant bugs, is probably the most interesting visually because of the jungle like habitat. Elaaden was just your typical desert planet, not much to write home about besides the Krogan colony section being a nice, flowing multi-layered building.

The gameplay is incredible. The jumpjet is a miraculous addition to the series, and it will be extremely hard to go back to ME2 and ME3 without it. It’s almost hard to remember how ME2 felt to play without it, even though I was playing it literally hours before picking up Andromeda. The weapons and their customization options are fine, though there are far too many mods with negative qualities, so I tended to stick to the common mods more than anything. HOWEVER, there is an amazing ultra rare mod that turns all of your bullets into sticky grenades, and I highly recommend it. I’m not a huge fan of the ammo types being made into consumables, because it became more of a pain to keep track of how many cryo shots I had left so I just stopped using it. The Cobra RPG being a consumable was also a letdown, as was the removal of heavy weapons in general, but the Cobra especially so because they are the rarest, most expensive weapon in the game, and are essential to defeating the architects on higher levels of difficulty (if you don’t want to spend 20 minutes on an architect fight.) 

Speaking of the Architects, the enemies this time around are pretty uninspired outside of the Remnant machine enemies. With the Kett enemies, its just every other enemy but with bone armor, both visually and canonically as it turns out. The only times I died in this game were due to getting cornered by Remnant forces with no way out. The Remnant are well designed and were the enemies I ended up fighting the most because of this. I also want to give a very specific tip; in New Tuchanka, there is a side quest to have a glory battle with two clan leaders who are having a falling out because they don’t have a common enemy to focus on. They choose to have you lead them into this fight against a Fiend (very large boy enemy), but when you get in the arena, it turns out it was a female Fiend that attracted TWO OTHER MALE FIENDS to the arena, so it’s 3 on 3. Just be ready for it, because I sure wasn’t, and ended up kiting them around for a solid 15 minutes until the NPCs managed to kill one.

So I’m seven paragraphs in and haven’t even talked about the two hallmarks of the Mass Effect series; story and characters. This is where I start to agree with some of the more lukewarm reviews for this game. I’ll just come out and say it; the cast isn’t as fun or engaging as any of the past three games. SAM, the AI who is always with you in your mind, can get a bit annoying, but was a welcome addition overall. 

As far as companions are concerned, Vetra and Drack are obvious standouts. Vetra being literally my type of woman to a T, and the old Krogan Drack who has seen it all is great as the grumpy grandpa. They were my constant companions after I got tired of Peebee. Speaking of the avid Asari adventurer, she certainly had one of the best designs in the game (literally all the other Asari looked like they had the mumps or something their cheeks were so puffed out), but her personality was just a little too over-written. I don’t want to say “tried too hard”, because I know first-hand how hard it can be to write a bubbly, fun-loving character that can be taken seriously, and their were moments where she rode that line quite well (whenever Kalinda came up, mostly.) The human crew outside of Suvi is shockingly underwhelming though. Prior to playing, I was kind of bummed that Cora wasn’t a romance option for Sara, but after doing her missions and having her in the buggy a couple times, she’s just a bit too one-dimensional, or archetypal even for me to be interested in her. Liam just has a personality I’m not into, and even though he says many times that he’s learning, adapting to what’s going on, he really doesn’t, and he’s not really all that apologetic about it either.

I’ve saved Jaal for last because I’m not really sure what they were going for with him, and the farther I got into the game, the more it seemed like whoever wrote for him didn’t know either. He starts out as being portrayed as an elite soldier who might be a bit of a loose cannon but gets shit done, but then with each new revelation it’s like he gets a new personality. You rescue the moshae and blow up the facility and he’s suddenly bipolar, one scene he’s cursing your name and in another he’s telling you it was the right call. You find out that most of the Kett you’ve killed were actually “exalted” (genetically modified) angarans, and he almost goes catatonic for a while because he doesn’t want to talk to you (these first two things happen in the same mission, but get different cutscene/dialogues for some reason). You let him confront the leader of the anti-alien Angarans, and now your his best friend that he can joke about anything with and even take you back to meet his giant family (though I enjoyed that part tbh.)  As a companion he has so neat points, but he just didn’t compare to Drack’s tank-ness.

The story overall was a bit flat. It excelled the most when it was about establishing the Initiative’s place in the cluster. The Kett/Angara struggle was just too cliche for me to really care about, in the end, though I appreciate that they took the time to make the Archon into a zealot type character that not all the Kett were willing to follow down the hole that was his obsession with Remnant technology. I’m also quite disappointed that the plot from the previous three games was so downplayed, and you have to do side-quests to hear anything about them. I liked the friction between the leadership of the Initiative, but it didn’t feel like you had much sway with any of them, even though you literally save the entire collective single-handedly. There are also a couple of characters that, you hear about them the whole game, and then when you meet them, it’s for like a two sentence dialogue and then the scene is over (Jaal’s true mother, Gil’s friend Jill), and that was pretty frustrating. I also wish there was more you could do with and for the colonists of each outpost. Hainsly in Prodromos was a wonderful character (who happens to be trans), but I was sad to see that she was pretty much the only quest-giver in the town besides the overseer.

Overall, there were very few glitches for me. The much maligned facial malformations were non-existent, though I did get the crazy eyes thing a couple times (out of 90 hours played). The main glitch I saw over and over was when I would go to talk to Peebee on the Tempest, and if she had been leaning on something, when I left the conversation she would be flipped the other way, so that she was leaning on air basically. That’s it. No running animation errors, nobody running through a wall or bouncing in place. The Nomad did a cool flip once when it wasn’t sure how to react to being high-centered on a rock.

So, the nitty gritty; fantastic game, and if this is just the first in a new trilogy, then the next game will be incredible and may give ME2 a run for it’s money. It’s got problems, but not as many as a legendary and well-loved game like Skyrim had. 8.5/10