#this is a silly post but i am completely unapologetic about it

[florchis]

On a scale of 1 to awful, how bad is that I find the way Rin describes Kitay fighting hot?

I mean...

She’d forgotten that he, too, had been trained as a soldier. And he’d been very, very good at it.

Kitay was not as strong as Nezha, nor as fast as her. But he struck with crisp, deadly precision. His attacks landed with maximal force concentrated to the thinnest point of impact— the knife edge of his hand, the point of his knuckle, the protruding cap of his knee. He chose his targets carefully. He knew her body better than anyone; he knew the spots where she hurt the most— her amputated wrist, the scars along her back, her twice- cracked ribs.

And he attacked them with brutal precision.

* fans herself *

[blossoms-phan]

What The Hell. like genuinely do we realize. just their cadence of speech and the way they carry themselves now is so different to the way it was years ago, and that shows itself in everything from videos to what they post on social media to what they’ve been doing on stage for the last few months but like. god. i hold ii as a stage show and the whole era like very close to my heart it really hurts to know how much dan struggled in that time and that it was supposed to be the end of Dan and Phil (it wasn’t!!) but I’ve been thinking about just how completely different ii and tit are as stage shows and the way dnp perform them and it’s like i saw someone wondering about the acting in ii and though it was heavily dependent on audience participation a lot of the show was also acting and it’s not that they didn’t do it well! they’re great performers and maybe I don’t remember bc I wasn’t super into the phandom ar that time but it just felt like they were a lot stiffer performing it and that they didn’t really let themselves mess up or be silly a lot (outside of what was scripted I mean). someone lmk if you have different thoughts on this bc I haven’t rewatched it in a while this is just a ramble but i am so so happy about everything that tit is and that I got to experience this version of them as a longtime fan because it is so, so evident that they are really in the dgaf era, being unapologetically themselves, no one can tell us what to do and just having the most fun ever- that all comes out through the way they carry themselves on stage, improv silly little things for fun, genuinely laugh and smile through it all and dan calling phil babe. that’s the whole reason I started writing this like. cheers dear. it’s okay honey. we let ourselves phannie out over those moments as well but this feels so different?? and we haven’t even gotten audio yet but idk how to explain this I just feel like if phil had messed up a line years ago it would’ve been like a more performance level reaction y’know, like an eye roll and a this guy which dan still very much does, but just genuinely letting an “it doesn’t matter babe” slip out like????????????? they’re literally just boyfriends partners in life actual soulmates who live and work and do everything together doing this stupid silly fucking stage show together every night and dan can just call him babe and they move on and do the show talking about them sharing a bed and the ways they’ve supported each other through this whole thing and how they’ve gotten to this point of beautiful shared authentic fun with their audience and fucking press their hands together and go back to back after that song like this has no fucking clear point to it and yet im losing my mind. does anyone hear me

[kojoty]

The thing about identity is that it changes with the tides of what is happening to you, just intrinsically, so it is very difficult to pattern map exactly what is exacerbating what facet. But, astutely, it has been made known to me that summer Michael is far more stable in identity than winter Michael. Which makes sense. Because when I over book myself to the brim with friends and community and outdoors and tasks in the caliber that one can in the heat and sun-- going honeybee mode-- a lot of the dips and crests even out through sheer pleasant and earned exhaustion by the end of the night. Whereas in the winter.... Not as much to do and far more time spent stuck inside my own brain and head landscape. But then also it is true that I pretty much...... Hm

To say I'm different than last year is no joke, and to say that the me from before June 8th feels like a Ghost is also no joke. But it's not as though I'm completely fresh and new--phoenix rising metaphor and all, even if I cauterize and burned myself down to the ash, the ash still had.... Me...? Inside it. It's like taking a sickly tree and cutting it down to the trunk and letting it grow back stronger. It's different! But the same in many ways. And I have spent month-- 12of them-- crawling out of the controlled burn and trying to map myself. So the 'patterns' I'm noting are, to an extent, not just new, but patterns that I am cultivating and honing and shaping. So much of this is new again. Even without a dissasociative condition-- of which I generally exist in shades and facets of three different main Genres , I've found-- so much of post addiction is looking back at your self in addiction and not recognizing the person in the mirror. Many memoirs and accounts of addiction talk aboht this. They feel alien to you even as they feel the same as you. It feels like a version of you that lies dormant. A bundle of every bad habit and unhealthy coping mechanism rolled into one person that becomes VERY good at lying. But when you cauterize that, you don't just *develop* health over night. You have to work on it.

And that's what I've been doing and will continue doing. Sobriety has helped me prioritize the greatest and most personal project I will ever have the honor of completing-- me. This is all over the place. I guess.... Pattern mapping and finding the patterns in yourself is cool. But I'm just now, a year in to Michael Whit Misha whatever able to see just the beginnings of what that looks like, with a healthy body, a healthier mind, a more keen outlook and insight.

Identity is funny and silly and if nothing else, the freedom to demand and assert that I can be whatever identities I choose to form with deliberation has been monumental in letting those cauterized ashes lay to rest, because at the core of it, addiction personalities are formed from a desire to not just appease those who aren't you, but to delete the aspects of yourself that ARE authentic. And in authenticity I have lost some of those that aren't me. But I've gained a hell of a lot meaningful relationships the more I've been unapologetic and taken accountability for the spaces I should and shouldn't inhabit. And my community and my relationships are the reason for doing it and I am so full to the brim with love every day of my life now. Even on the hard days, at least, I can say without lying that I am trying my fucking best. And I can mean it. Anyways.

Project year 1 complete 👍

[egg-emperor]

youre such a troll it cracks me up SO HARD keep it up

I'm glad you're amused as I like to make people laugh and I will be sure to keep that up but uh is this someone who can't believe I'm actually attracted to Eggman and therefore think this account is completely a joke, like how I was asked if I was a satire/parody blog not long ago? or if it's not for the eggfuckery, that I'm as big of a fan and serious deep analyzer as I am? because if so, read this

because I'm not "trolling" at all, I'm just being funny with how I present it and express myself to make it more funny and entertaining. like I said in that other answer, I know it's crazy and unbelievable and funny to people to wanna fuck Eggman and analyze him so insanely deeply and all so I play into the humor but while still sharing very real thoughts and feelings on everything

everything I say here is true to me, just with humor applied but not even exaggerated at all by it. I feel it as hard as I express it. I don't really like the idea that people get the impression that my very real expression of my passion and thoughts and such aren't genuine. I'm a very genuine and passionate person and while I like making people laugh by being silly about it, I am serious not "trolling"

or if you mean the sense of "trolling" that I'm trying to post to upset or anger people or make them uncomfortable or whatever since the term has it's negative connotations than just satire then no, I'm absolutely not posting to get a rise. I post to entertain people, make people laugh, to help learn about Eggman, and express my passion. I don't like when my posts manage to upset people

anyway whatever reason you're saying this is may be, it should be obvious that I'm serious. I don't spend hours playing the games, watching the cutscenes and analyzing, spending hundreds to a thousand on Eggman merch to have a shrine in my bedroom, have all kinds of private ns4w Eggman related search and site history/files/convos, and write extensive Eggman ns4w on other blogs for this to somehow not be serious lol

I'm a very passionate guy and I want to share that with the world in the most honest unapologetic open way without any repression or limit or a fear of "cringe". I also feel things very deeply and earnestly, far too much to just do everything I do just for the memes or the trolls or something. Eggman is just awesome and sexy and I want to share the joy he makes me feel with y'all in funny ways and if it makes you laugh that's great

[mutt-victim]

Okay I wanna post this here because I know she'll see it, since she's a sweet obsessive clingy little that has post notifs turned on...

I could go on for ages about everything that I adore about my little, Charlotte- and you know what????? I think I'm fuckin going to!! Before I even got the chance to first see her, I got to listen to her speak and oh my god does she have such a pretty voice and one of the sweetest laughs I've ever gotten to hear. She's so smart and has such a similar sense of humour to mine, but she's also so SILLY. I love to listen to and watch her have a giggle fit or blush and kick her feet when something is funny or embarassing! I think her focused face when someone's talking to her or she's playing a videogame or figuring something out, is just so cute. She has such pretty eyes and I really like her long fwoofy hair (I mean I'm a known simp for long curly dark hair) and a really precious smile. Her cheeks and dimples are SO cute-kid coded I just want to poke them!! I am kinda obsessed with how nerdy she is, like she's a genuine unapologetic dork and I really adore that about her!! Getting to listen to her talk about her special interests, and taking the time to learn more, feels really nice! I really love hearing her excited for her DnD campaigns and characters, or fun BotW cheats, or Ben 10 lore, or the Gravity Falls cipher notes that she just knows. She's so cute. Nerdy little girls are SO CUTE!! I like the way she shows her plushies to me each time she's cuddling with a different one so I can say hi to them and talk to them a little bit. I love being around her when she's little! Her babbles, her imagination, her blushing and smiling and hiding under blankets (she's the mayor of blanket city!).. she's so sweet and full of silly comments and precious comments and compliments when she's small. And some very funny cursed things too!! Squishing her hammerhead plush Blimothy's eyes together to look like a slug, wearing her monster energy shirt when I'm around because she knows I'm a sucker for monster, eating cinnabon stuff even though she's allergic, keeping a mtn dew graveyard, and making silly "without me??" jokes when someone has to pee. I would totally hold her hand while she goes pee, omfg... anyways. She has a really REALLY pretty body too. I know she doesn't always feel the most confident in it, but I'm so so excited to remind her all the time how cute and gorgeous a little girl she is. Cute butt, 11/10 tiddies to go OwO at or think about napping on, sweetest little soft hands, a tummy worth losing my mind over!! And I haven't said this one to her yet but I really really like her arms.. she looks so so huggable and grabbable and soft, I think her stretch marks are the so pretty, I'm gonna take a small gentle *nom* on her arms and her cute tattoo that she jokes is "too metal" but I really like. Speaking of metal, her MUSIC TASTE (listening to tool and a perfect circle and iDKHOW with a pwetty gorl is so swag idk 😎). Music taste is yummy and her taste in youtubers is even yummier. I love making references and knowing she'll get them. When she calls me daddy or dad I melt completely, when she's unapologetic about wanting my attention or being clingy or wanting to tell a long story I get so happy. She's just so so easy to talk to!! Such a good girl, very good puppy. I'm gonna go reread out long chat about piss from yesterday and wish she was here to hang out and be cuddled >w< aaa

[nearestend]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ( dilly you absolute gem of a human being. one of my favorite blogs for sure. your writing blows me away every time <3 giving you a hug buddy! )

spud..... my favourite potato..... do you know that i care for you very much and that it makes me really happy to see you post. i know i said this before, but immediately after i rebooted, i had to be like "i need to know where spud is at right now" and thankfully you popped up on my dash which was a huge relief. you're one of the people who i genuinely cannot have a completed dashboard without, regardless of who you are writing that day. (even some of your guys who i don't know as much about. i am kissing them anyways mwah mwah mwah.) i like seeing you talk about cheese and silly characters and any updates both ic and ooc that you have to share.

also just like... you inspire me very much. you're very passionate and unapologetic about that and i think we should all be loud about the things we like and care for. you're also very kind to people in a way that isn't even necessary, but is so very appreciated. (i think of any time you have checked in on me or said something nice and i tear up fr??? i get emotional.) thank you for doing all of that and more! and always indulging me in the silly things i have to say too.

leaving you a present under the cut

mwah

[mo0shie]

Eritav post at 2 am cause why not

My thoughts on why I think Eritav is the best ship.

So canonically Eridan just really needed somebody who would've listened to him without being judgmental and who would've supported him. Not degrade him for having feelings or throw insults at him for every little thing he did.

And Tavros is that kind of person. He's so nice and would sit down and let Eridan talk. Even if he didn't have anything to say. But he would try. He probably doesn't have like the best advice or know much about specific issues. But he's genuine and would've tried his best to add input. And he wouldn't have berated him for any of it. He'd also just try to be silly to cheer him up. And even if Eridan might think it's stupid I'm sure he'd still appreciate that Tavros is putting in the effort.

On the other hand, Eridan is pretty blunt and straight forward. But he does show that he can genuinely care And he won't be awful about the things he says. Not like Vriska. And Tavros needs that. He needs someone who will not sugar coat things for him. Give him a reality check. But by also being gentle about it. As in he just wants to be insightful. Not malicious. And Tavros *would* be able to understand that. Eridan would reassure him of it. And Tavros needs that so much. Someone who'd actually push him in the right direction and allow him to learn in a good environment. Also they just have so much in common. They're both huge nerds. Tavros likes fairytales and games and Eridan likes history and magic (even though he insists it's fake. But only cause other trolls tell him magic isn't real and stupid). But Tavros is so unapologetic about the stuff he enjoys and would let Eridan have a safe space to talk about these things. He'd let Eridan know that he doesn't have to be afraid of criticism around him.

Eridan would definitely let Tavros talk about his stuff too. And help him build up his confidence without being a complete fucking jerkwad about it. Like he'd be blunt but he could still be supportive. And I'm sure he'd open up and enjoy these things with Tavros. They can be silly goofballs together. Who would play games and flarp and go on adventures. They totally would and it's just so obvious. But of course that's not shown because they just work too well.

And Tavros gets none of that with Gamzee. He doesn't have the potential to grow with him. Yea sure he can be himself and silly but he doesn't get the support and he doesn't get the eye opening talks that he would with Eridan. He also wouldn't get to do so many things that he enjoys with somebody who doesn't even know what he's doing. Gamzee slander right now (I don't hate Gamzee or Gamtav) but that guy is just aimless. Where would that take Tavros? Nowhere. But with Eridan he can be so much more. He can do so much more. He sees the direction Eridan wants go in life and it inspires him. He's still not entirely sure of what his purpose is but he knows he can reach it eventually. And it's because of the way Eridan makes him feel and think. It's because of his way of thinking that Tavros can go. Oh, I never thought of it that way. Or nobody has ever told me that before. And he wants to make him proud. He wants to be out there. And he will. He's gaining that confidence and determination he's always needed from the way Eridan treats him. He is literally the best person for him and I can't be convinced otherwise.

[lecreamiediaper]

What do you like most about diapers?

What do I like most? god probably how I can just cum in them over and over and they'll just absorb it right up. I don't have to worry about immediate clean up and can go back to whatever I was doing prior and wont have to worry about it until I'm leaking or at the end of the day, which ever comes first. And how no matter what whether your a boy a girl, as soon as your taped up nice and snug in a diaper it doesn't matter about your bits cause either way the only good way to masturbate in a diaper is through grinding, humping, and the all too good buzzy's. Really reminds me of the meme where someone's trying to prove a point of what someone's gender is by asking what's in their pants only to be answer with "a diaper".

But now that I think of it I REALLY love how cushy they are. I got a bony butt so sitting down for an extended time without any padding and I'm shifting around from discomfort. But with diapers on its like my own personal pillow everywhere I sit down making the world my own cushy seat and just plop my now big diapered butt down anywhere I want to.

I also like how humiliatingly and unapologetic they are. Fuck its such a rush having one on and all the crinkling, bulge, and waddling broadcasts to anyone looking on how you lack basic control. That with them on you're not even gonna attempt to use the potty like an adult. That no matter where I am I can just pee right where I'm standing without giving it a second thought. And although I'm not too big on messing, i could just cum right now thinking of being in public, squatting down and pooping and packing my pampers like some silly goober that's too dopey to even consider using the potty. And then being confined to waddling around with the smell telling everyone that your just a dumb baby that needs their diaper changed. (oh man I'm drooling typing this part)

And you know those thunder vest they make for small dogs so they calm down during fireworks and storms? well that's defiantly the same premise for the other reason I love diapers, they the only clothing I know of that hug you back. and although having the biggest poofiest diaper on is nothing but bliss, you get them at a certain thickness and despite all the bulk, its like every movement you make rubs up against your bits. Just making it all the more tempting to just rub your diaper against literally anything, just breaking down into a completely horny mess that's only thought on their mind is how much of a perverted diaper wearer they are and how great diaper feel, that they should wear diaper every day, all day. That they should find other diaper lovers, get together and just have diapered orgy, humping each other, rubbing each other diapers, diapers, sitting on each other, riding, grinding their faces diaper.

I came, I just came while typing about how much I love diapers... Oh man, like one hand hand typing one hand stroking...its a good thing I have hardwood floors. Not saying this is a new low, but its defiantly a new. I swear I'm a functioning adult. but I'm just gonna end this post here.

[rainydawgradioblog]

boyGENIUS!!!!

boygenius, a superstar trio of indie artists including phoebe bridgers, julien baker, and lucy dacus, recently released their debut album, and it is truly nothing short of genius. in a moment that was about as culturally significant to me as the signing of the declaration of independence, these three women utterly changed the course of my life and the lives of thousands of other melodramatic girlies. this lil post, despite being a healthy 3-ish weeks after the actual release of the record, will compile some of my standout thoughts on each track of the album. hope you enjoy! ;)

1: without you without them 

one thing about me, i LOVE some boygenius harmonies. in a similar manner as my beloved favorite track from their 2018 EP, ketchum ID, without you without them provokes a deep sense of peace and emotion combined. “speak to me, until your history’s no mystery to me” is the cutest cleverest little lyric. the perfect opening track. 

2: $20 

0:01 seconds in, any seasoned boygenius fan immediately goes “julien!!!” her signature heavier guitar and drums sets her apart from the jump and creates the catchiest hook. plus the screaming at the end?? oh my god??? (that video of phoebe recording I KNOW!!!!! YOU HAVE!!!!! 20 DOLLARS!!!!!! has actually not left my head since i saw it)

3: emily i’m sorry

i will forever be unapologetically weak in the knees for phoebe bridgers. she captures so many emotions so beautifully in this, between loving someone so much it destroys you and feeling completely out of control of your life. i love the progression between “i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want” and “i can feel myself becoming somebody i’m not, i’m not” between the two choruses. 

4: true blue

more songs about platonic love!!!! PLEASE!!!! this track is devastatingly adorable. “i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself,” is the perfect lyric to make you think of that friend who will tell you that you don’t have to say “its ok” when you’re miserable over something. the bridge also makes me feel like i’m floating. i love lucy!!!! 

5: cool about it

WOW. unquestionably in the top three, immediately. i’m a sucker for a boygenius song where they all have equal verses (souvenier-esque) and this one HITS. i’ve seen so many different interpretations of this one, including but not limited to: 1: the feeling of knowing an old friendship is slowly drifting apart, 2: a heartbreak that you swallow and smile through for the other person, and 3: clinging to someone that you know is bad for you because you can’t imagine yourself without them. all of them are so fitting, and i find so much beauty in the open-endedness. 

6: not strong enough 

LUCY AT THE END. LITERALLY JUST. LUCY’S PART AT THE END. 

makes me go actually crazy every time. they ate this one up. a depressing song in an upbeat major key melody is an incredible combination. sneaks up on ya.  

7: revolution 0

this is such a genuinely beautiful song. another one where they just nailed the harmonies. “i used to think if i’d just close my eyes, i will disappear”  reminds me so much of “i used to think you could hear the ocean in a seashell, what a childish thing” in phoebe’s single “sidelines.” definitely a lie on the floor and ponder existence while tracing the cracks in your ceiling type jam. 

8: leonard cohen 

i love a short little song. and this is a fantastic one. “i am not an old man having an existential crisis at a buddhist monastery, writing horny poetry, but i agree” is incredibly boygenius-coded. their tendency towards the occasional silly little lyric is something i can always get behind. my favorite fact about this one is that the story at the beginning is 100% true-and that phoebe was the one driving the car. 

9: satanist

as the text that my best friend sent to me at the release of the album reads, “satanist BANGS” and it’s true. satanist does in fact, bang. another distinct julien standout, it provides a sick little head-bangy intermission to all the introspective, staring-at-the-ceiling pondering. “will you be a nihilist with me? if nothing matters, man that’s a relief” has got to be the realest thing i’ve heard in a minute. 

10: we’re in love

dunno if this song has too much of a tinge of sadness to be my first dance song at my wedding…..but i certainly want it to be. i’d have to claim this one as my favorite from the album. everything about it is just stunning, from the lyrics and the story they convey to the vocals and simple instrumental backing. the verse about finding each other in the next life actually made me tear up in the public record store where i first heard the album. “i can’t imagine you without the same smile in your eyes, there is something about you that i will always recognize” ARE YOU KIDDING?!! so heart-stoppingly beautiful. 

11: anti-curse

i’d love to drive down an empty highway with this song playing. there’s something so magical about a song that has a dramatic build-up, and there’s nobody that does a dramatic build-up better than these three right here (shout out not strong enough again). the instrumental swells at “i guess i did alright considering” and “i’m swimmin back” feel like such a true release of emotion, you can’t help but feel it alongside the band. 

12: letter to an old poet 

INSANE. easily a standout track, between the parallel to the past “me and my dog,” from the band’s debut EP, to the gut-wrenching lyricism delivered in phoebe’s smooth vocals, it’s seriously unforgettable-especially for old fans of the band. “and i love you, i don’t know why, i just do” is a poignantly simple capture of a feeling we’ve all faced at one point or another. the combination of love, hurt, and rage is such an intriguing combination and draws the listener in from the first moment. also a BIG fan of “you don’t get to tell me to calm down.” remember to never let anyone invalidate how you feel, my friends. and also remember to…

STAY COOL!!!!! 

K-MURPH

listen here:

[laiwater]

current white men i, as an aspec woc, am currently attracted to.

Firstly, I would like to preface this post by apologizing to myself and my online persona that this is the very first post I am making (though I am no stranger to Tumblr) and will definitely be looking back and cringing. But, I digress, this is purely for personal enjoyment and the fact that I love anonymity.

Second, there is no particular order in which I rank these men, I just enjoy them and their existence and their creations. So, I guess that's how this list came to be.

Now. On to the white men!

Number one, the one and only, Matthew Gray Gubler. Not sure how this obsession spiraled, but I'm positive that it started with an edit of Spencer Reid on TikTok.

He is both a blessing and curse to my existence. I get a visceral reaction when I see him on screen as he spews out his little factoids. I also feel very ashamed and embarrassed as I watch, to completion, a thirst edit of him and all I can is a black screen with my stupid smile reflected back at me. I feel crazy.

It has come to a point where I started watching other things he stars in. (Yes, thirst watches. I am devolving.) Today, I watched The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, which was very entertaining even without Mr. Gubler. Yesterday, it was Suburban Gothic and that one 15 minute bowling mocumentary where he humps the air. Tomorrow? Who knows. Maybe Horse Girl. Side note: I love Alison Brie.

To wrap up my blurb on Matthew Gray Gubler, I want to say 2 things. I love him as a creator and creative. He is the epitome of silly, which is something I think everyone can be just a little bit more, and he most definitely is Tumblr if Tumblr was a person. His history with art and creating is really intriguing and something I look up to! He models, acts, directs, writes, draws, and more. I just love creative people.

Next white man is Irish, has long beautiful locks, and is gigantimasaurus: Andrew John Hozier-Byrne! Professionally known as Hozier!

Unreal Unearth is actually the very first Hozier drop that I got to experience as a new-ish fan of his work. I love everything he creates; his lyrics, voice, sound has so much emotion and power. I was literally in the shower singing out Francesca as the water beat down my back.

My love for Hozier doesn't just stem from his music but also the content of his music, where he draws inspiration from, and how he's literally just some dude. Cue his handsome Squidward story and the one where he was cursing out some badgers.

The best way to describe the content of his music, in my opinion, is yearning for various releases in terms of love, hope, despair, a better understanding etc. He writes so well, and his feelings can be viscerally felt through paper and sound. He always sounds like he's on the edge of something, always anticipating a moment.

Last one, because everything comes in threes, is Thomas Straker, which is the "all things butter" guy, in case you didn't know. VERY random, I think, but I also don't think so.

Love, love, love a man that can cook. Even more so when he is nice to look at, and doesn't desecrate the food he makes (if you've seen those gross cooking TikToks where they completely violate their ingredients, you'd understand.)

Personally, I've been obsessed with this man ever since his butter series because 1) his voice is really really smooth, 2) he unapologetically loves food. Him creating these recipes and watching him eat his own dishes like they're the best thing to exist is elation.

Not sure if I'm starting to sound weird, but I think it's the same way people feel about Carmy from The Bear. Also, I cook. And it's just attractive how he cooks and enjoys cooking despite his comments telling him he uses too much butter - which is ridiculous because butter is what makes so many foods taste rich and good. Literally go shadow Gordon Ramsey as he makes a steak.

Anyways, that's it. That's the post. My laptop is about to die because I decided to write this in one sitting instead of packing because I'm leaving for school in two days. Crazy.

[fivelakesinwriting]

Out of Character (Rafe Cameron) Part 2

Warnings: SMUT, Brief talk of drug use.

Authors Note: I posted this on my mobile, so I'm sorry this is sooo bulky on your timeline. I hope you all enjoy.

Days later, the events of The Red Night had been forgotten by most - with the exception of JJ Maybank and Topper Thornton.

Gemma and Rafe had moved on, and Topper despised it. He had wanted to make a move on Gemma that night. Frankly he thought after Rafe had almost put JJ Maybank in a watery grave that the tale of Gemma Mercer and Rafe Cameron would be done. Apparently she just liked him more.

Topper sat at a table at the country club after a round of golf with Kelce, and Rafe. They chose a table , obviously, in Gemma's section and waited.

"Hey, boys." She smiled as she walked up, leaning her body into Rafe.

"Hey, baby. Wanna get us a round?" Rafe smirked as he squeezed her backside unapologetically.

Topper ran his tongue over his teeth, his unconscious tick when he was uncomfortable. And he was very uncomfortable as he watched Rafe's fingertips reach up Gemma's shorts for her thighs.

Topper, that tickles. Stop. You're covered in cu -

Topper stood up from his spot at the table and knocked over his chair. He announced he was going to the bathroom and stormed off. He waved behind him as Gemma asked what kind of beer he wanted.

I don't fucking care.

Topper rushed into the one person bathroom and locked himself inside. He let out a shaky breath as he tried to gather himself. He had not realized the consequences of his actions, the severity of the hand he had been dealt.

Topper had not been honest with Rafe when he told him nothing had happened with Gemma on The Red Night. A pretty girl in a red dress who is full of vodka, and a Kook on coke with heartbreak don't mix.

Topper helped a drunk Gemma into his empty house, and watched as she kicked off her shoes. He tried not to noticed as her dress hiked up her thighs almost to her hips.

No panties. Fuck.

"C'mon, Gemma. This way." Topper laughed softly as he led her towards the spare room. He held her shoulders , guiding her safely to the bed.

"Goodnight, Gemma." Topper stated softly as he turned away while she crawled into bed. Her backside in full display to him. All the times Rafe bragged about sinking his teeth into it made him suddenly jealous.

"Wait. Topper?" She asked softly from the middle of the California King.

"Yeah?" He asked while he looked at his feet, unable to look at the drunk girl.

"Do you have any clothes I could sleep in? I kind of thought I would be with Rafe tonight." She smiled softly as she pushed her hair out of her face.

Topper nodded before he went to his room to grab a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. When he came back into the room Gemma had gotten out of bed and stripped out of the dress to reveal nothing but her tanned body.

"What are you doing?" Topper stammered as he looked his best friend's girl up and down relentlessly. He didn't care anymore. If she was going to be naked in his house then he was going to look.

"Getting ready for bed, Silly." She smiled as she reached for the clothes he clutched in his fist.

"No. With me." He rasped out as his eyes moved from the tanlines on her feet , hips and the lack of lines across her chest.

"I'm not doing anything." Gemma replied as she looked up at him.

"You are, and it isn't fair . This what you're doing right now is fucked up. Because you think I won't don't anything about it because you're Rafe Cameron's girl. But fuck that." Topper spat as he tossed the clothes on the bed and closed the gap between them.

He placed a hand on her soft backside while the other entangled itself in her hair. He pressed himself against the naked girl and kissed her firmly, his tongue in her mouth immediately. He didn't give a fuck, especially not when she moaned into his mouth.

"You're in trouble, Topper Thornton." She panted when he let her breathe. Her hands pressed against his chest and she rubbed her naked hips against his golf shorts.

"Yeah, I am." Topper replied as he nudged her nose with his as he backed her up to the bed. He pushed her on to her back, biting on his bottom lip as she bounced on the bed.

"What are you going to do, Topper?" She asked as she bent her knees and held her thighs together.

"Kinda feel like devouring you. Kinda feel like making you beg. " Topper replied as he pulled off his shirt then spread her legs.

"Topper." She blushed as she tried to close her thighs again.

"Don't. I get to hear about how fucking good you taste, now it's my turn for a sample." Topper stated as he pressed her knees down on either side of the bed and looked down at her completely exposed to him.

"Topper." His name was like her only reaction now. Topper knelt at the foot of his bed as he pulled her closer to the edge. Her skin so soft while he tossed her thighs over his shoulder.

He didn't start slow. He attached his lips to her clit and gave a harsh suck that made her cry out. She grabbed at his hair and pushed her hips up into his face.

"Be fucking good." Topper grunted as he grabbed her hips with both hands and pushed them down onto the bed. He realized mid - action that he shouldn't be so rough. He could've left bruises on another man's girlfriend as he devoured her...

"Fuck, Topper!" She gasped as her hips writhed in his hands.

"You taste so fucking sweet." Topper slurred between her legs as he ever so briefly added his fingers to her centre. The pads of his fingers brushed against her soaked core, making her cry out for him, before he softly pressed them to her thigh.

"Topper. I think...please, don't.." Gemma gasped out as she pulled at his hair.

Topper nodded, then grunted in response. He gripped at her thighs to keep her close as he tongue swiped over her clit and brought her to the edge. For the first time in a long time he was happy he was home by himself. The scream that left this tiny girl was almost alien.

"Did I break you?" Topper asked as he placed messy kisses on her thigh.

"That tickles, Topper. Stop! You're covered in cum." She giggled as she gently pushed his face away.

"You don't like it?" Topper asked as he pulled his face up from between her legs, so he could lean down and kiss her lips.

"I like it a lot." She replied as she reached for his belt and ripped it through the loops of his shorts.

Topper's head was spinning. He wasn't sure how had quickly gotten into his position - literally - but he didn't want to stop. He now understood why Rafe didn't shut the fuck about her, and was incessant about their sex life. And all Topper had done was put his tongue on her .

"Come here, pretty girl." Topper grunted as he rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. He positioned the girl on top of his lap.

Just as Topper was about to lower Gemma onto his manhood. His breath held in his throat, he heard the screech of tires on the gravel out front.

"That's..fuck. That's Rafe." Topper groaned as she took the lead and sunk down onto him.

"Nooo, Silly. It's not." She cooed as she started to shift her hips. Topper groaned and his head rolled back at her tight heat.

"You feel so fucking good." Topper rasped out, his hands gripped at the flesh of her backside.

It was the long honk of the his horn that startled her. She squeezed her muscles around him as the horn went off and Topper growled like a trapped animal.

"You fucking bitch." Topper grunted as he thrust up into her. His hips became rabid as he thrust up into her over and over again.

Topper pulled out as he came, the feeling of her own orgasm too much for him to handle. Topper shivered as he laid on his back for a moment, Rafe's horn the background sound to their infidelity.

"I'm going to go calm him down." Topper stated softly as he put himself back in his pants and slid out from under her.

"Was I that bad?" She asked softly as Topper made his way to the door.

Topper's heart skipped a beat, while his cock jumped. Had she not been there for any of that?

"No. You were incredible, Silly." Topper smiled softly back at her before he quickly walked out of the house.

Topper would never tell her she was the best he had ever had in his young life. That after she left he couldn't get her out of his head. Her taste off his tongue, or her screams out of his ears.

He wanted more.

..

Topper stood in the bathroom at the country club and splashed  cold water on his face to try and calm down. He was not thinking about his best friend's girlfriend. And he was definitely not thinking about her on her back, with her thighs over his shoulders while his face was buried between them. He wasn't thinking about how tight and warm she was, or the way her hips rotated to get all of him.

No. He wasn't.

"Yo. Topper. You alright, man?" Came Rafe's voice and a heavy knock on the other side of the door.

"Be right out."

Topper opened the door to reveal Rafe with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face.

"What? You doing bumps without me in here?" Rafe grinned as he looked around as if to spot the white powder.

Topper scoffed as he led the two of them back to their table. Gemma had served them all drinks and was running around taking orders for a large party that had just finished golfing.

"So, you and Gemma make up after the other night?" Topper asked after a generous sip of beer.

"Yeah, we did." Rafe smirked as he lowered his sunglasses onto his eyes. As if they would block him from ogling his girlfriend in plain sight.

"That's good." Kelce replied as he texted on his phone, probably another conquest.

"Well, that pussy is just the finest quality bro." Rafe smirked as he watched Gemma walk across the terrace.

Topper clenched his fists as he stood up from his chair again. He glared at Rafe before he stalked off towards the bar where Gemma stood waiting for the glasses to be filled.

"Hi, Topper." She smiled at him, as if she hadn't rode him within an inch of his life four days ago.

"Can I talk to you?" Topper asked, his eyes darted from her to Rafe.

"Sure." She nodded as she slid her tray to a fellow server and walked off with Topper.

"So you and Rafe made up?" Topper asked as they stood away from Gemma's section, away from Rafe.

Gemma scoffed as she shielded her eyes from the sun. "I mean, yeah. We're together."

"And the other night with us meant nothing to you?" Topper whispered, careful of who could hear. The Outer Banks were small, everyone knew everyone. And their business.

"I didn't say that, Topper." She replied with a roll of her eyes.

She infuriated him. It was as if that night meant nothing to her. As if he had not pulled her from the crossfire of Rafe and JJ only to have her put him between her and Rafe.

"Exactly. You haven't said anything, Gemma. He picked you up literally as I was inside of you, he took you home. Probably fucked you, and then it's all good. It's fine. Because he's Rafe Cameron." Topper scowled as he looked her up and down, doing his best not to remember what she looked like naked and on the brink of orgasm.

"Fuck you, Topper. You're putting your anger at Sarah for shacking up with Routledge on me. And it's not okay. We hooked up, it was fun. Get over it." Gemma spat at him, her neatly manicured finger pressed into his toned chest.

"Yeah, it was fucking fun. But I think it was more than fun for you, Gemma. I think you needed me Saturday night." Topper hissed as he grabbed her wrist to pull her hand away.

"Needed you?" She replied with a glare, as she fought his grip.

"Yeah. You needed me. I took care of you when he was MIA on the fucking beach, made you come. Twice! And I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn't make you feel as good as you think he does in bed." Topper replied as they fought. He ended up with her pinned against the stucco wall as he held her arms over her chest.

"How dare you.."

"You asked me if you were bad in bed. And I don't fucking understand that. I haven't for days. Not when you look like that. Move your hips like you did, or your pussy tastes like.."

"Stop." She whispered as she avoided his intense eyes. His compliments embarrassed her.

"He doesn't say shit like that to you, does he?" Topper asked softly as he released his grip on her wrists.

"Not always. He's different when we are alone." She replied with a soft sniffle before she looked back up at Topper.

"Listen, I'm not...I'm not trying to put all my anger or whatever about Sarah onto you. Honestly I would rather focus that anger on Routledge. I just wanted you to know that I can't stop thinking about you. And that you weren't bad in bed. Quite frankly, you were the best I've had." Topper replied as he placed one had beside her head, while the other rubbed the back of his neck.

"Of who? Me and Sarah Cameron?" Gemma teased.

"Fuck you. I've had sex with plenty of other girls." Topper laughed softly as he looked at their feet.

"I'm sure."

"If I hadn't fucked a lot of girls then how would I have known what I was doing with you?" Topper grinned as he remembered the blissful moments between her legs with her hands buried in his hair.

"Beginner's luck?" Gemma replied as she looked up into his eyes.

Gemma didn't want to admit that she had enjoyed her time with Topper that night. He had made her feel incredibly good. She has not intended on sleeping with him that night, but it happened. She would be lying if she said she didn't think about him, too. The way he gripped at her hips as he devoured her, how his hips had a mind of their own once she had unintentionally squeezed her muscles around him.

The sounds he made.

It made her excited, and a little wet just thinking about how he roared as he came all over her thighs. How he slurred his speech into her core like he was drunk on her.

"Luckiest beginner of all time to make a pretty girl like you come that hard." Topper replied under his breath as he watched a sous chef walk by for a smoke break. Everyone knew who Gemma Mercer was, and that she was Rafe Cameron's arm candy.

"Guess next time you'll have to try harder. See what happens." She stated as she looked at him through his eyelashes.

"Don't fucking play with me, Gemma." Topper growled as he watched her shift her weight from one foot to the other.

"I should get back to my section before Melody takes all my tips." Gemma replied as she pushed her body off the wall.

"Come over tonight." Topper blurted out before he could catch himself.

"You want me to come over tonight?" Gemma repeated.

"Yes. Come over tonight. I'll make you dinner, we can raid my parent's wine cellar. We don't have to have sex, if you don't want to. I mean, I would really like to. But if you don't want to, I would be really happy with just having dinner with you."

"You're asking me on a date?" Gemma asked as she looked the boy up and down. She had never had a boy make her dinner.

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I know that Rafe is technically your boyfriend and all, but I think you deserve better and.." Topper was cut off by Gemma grabbing his face and pressing her lips to his firmly.

"I'll be there at 7." She replied once she let him breathe. She quickly scurried back up the stairs to tend to her section.

Topper licked his lips, unaware Rafe Cameron had watched the whole scene.

[devilishychubbyqueer]

Okay another off topic post bc I'm thinking about it

I haven't said too much about myself that is not entirely hypnosis related, so here's some stuff about me!

I'm fat. I am fat, and that's wonderful. I like being this way, even if I do wanna start working out just in case the apocalypse happens and I need to throw a mean punch or two at some zombies. I would prefer to do that and remain fat. I'm still learning to love this part of me, but it's going ok!

I am queer. My gender identity is a fucking tangled up rope of masculinity, femininity, confusion, silly string and glitter glue. My sexuality is polyamorous and bisexual, so if you think I've decided on ANY ONE THING in this life, you'd be wrong.

I am autistic and ADHD. These things cause me some annoyance and trouble every day but that doesn't mean I don't love em to death. I work around them, with them, and through them. These little identifiers add on to me, not subtract.

All of this stuff ties in with my kinks, as well. Hypnosis is a special interest and, to this day, is one of the only things that gets my ADHD to calm down almost completely. It takes me out of my body so I don't have to focus on dysphoria around my chest or worries that my body is not 'enough', and allow me to love it in the moment- and many moments after. I've loved it since I was a child, and only recently started accepting that.

Being fat ties in with what makes me feel sexy. Being queer ties in with who I find attractive. Being autistic and ADHD ties into how my kink and sex life works.

I honestly thing it's important for me to talk about these things, too! I'm not just a person behind a screen who is tranced all day. I'm not perfect, I'm not the traditional idea of pretty or skinny or handsome.

I am a fat, queer, autistic/ADHD devil of a kinkster, and I love that. Hence my name, Devilishly Chubby Queer. And I am proud of it <3

Thank you all for allowing me to be myself, unapologetically. This blog has actually boosted my confidence a LOT more than yall know <3 Thank you! <3

~ Devil

[graceslavenderhaze]

fight night  (jatp crew x reader)

readers home life hasn’t been the best and they’ve been lying to their friends about it. one night it all builds up and the reader shows up to julies, distraught. ( for this the boys are alive bc it just worked out best but other than that no changes.)

this has been sitting in my drafts so i thought i’d post it

trigger warning: family fights, anxiety, depression, past talk of eating disorders.

For a long time you use to just keep everything buried down. That was your fatal flaw. It wasn’t a trust issue, you just always had this feeling that if no one knew then everything would be fine. But your family had lately been falling apart, your parents always seemed disappointed in you, you were fighting with your siblings more and it felt it a ballon that kept on expanding. you didn’t know when everything was going to explode it just kept getting worse.

Today was the exploding point. It seemed like no matter what you did, it just wasn’t good enough. You were the black sheep in your family, they made you out to be it. They complained about how you dressed, what your room looked like, the music you played, the people you hung out with, and for what? You didn’t do anything that was textbook problem child material. 

You tried your hardest in school, you never asked for much, you cleaned almost everyone’s mess at home, and after a while that became your routine. Never be seen, never be heard and never get any credit for everything you do. Meanwhile your siblings, little miss perfect and the star academic got everything you wanted. Your parents attention, their approval, and their constant reassurance. 

By the time you were in high school, you were emotionally independent. A stranger to your own family pretty much. You went to an art school along with your siblings. Even as the oldest, you quickly fell into their shadows. Your sister a musical protégé on the violin, your parents paid for the best lessons, and without a doubt she’ll probably attend some ivy league. Your brother was in the advanced academics program, with yale and harvard already offering him scholarships in his sophomore year. Then there was you. You were in the art program, and while your teacher swears that all the top art schools have you on their radar. You still felt insignificant.

You worked a weekend job at the local coffee shop, latte love , it wasn’t everything but it helped pay for art supplies for you to build your portfolio. Their you met Julie Molina and Flynn Davis. Two girls who were your age, they attended the music program at your art school. You recognized them, Julie had been like the sun at the school. In the hallways always smiling and then her mom died, the sun went away hidden behind clouds. While Flynn was unapologetically herself and didn’t backdown from telling people how things were, she was fearless. They were also probably the first two people who knew your siblings and were able to separate you from them. 

Then later on in the year the three of you met Luke, Alex and Reggie. Latte Love was hosting its monthly open mic night. It was almost a year after Julie’s mom died, so in an attempt to coax her back into music, Flynn brought her around. You offered free hot chocolate on the house as a bribe if she wanted to come. After an hour of mainly middle schoolers trying to face stage fright, soccer parents who desperately tried to hold onto their high school garage band phase and any other mediocre act who gave it their all in effort. Sunset Curve preformed. 

That night honestly sent all six of your lives’ into a full spiral but in the best way. A month after you had met sunset curve, they formed a band with Julie and became, Julie and the Phantoms. Flynn becoming the band manager and you being the artist for ticket designs, posters and anything else. It helped distract you from everything going on in your life and with your friends you didn’t feel left out or the black sheep. You were you and they loved you for all of it. 

But you could only be happy for so long. Your family always managed to make you feel horrible about yourself, this week had felt like the worst its ever been. Your sister being recruited for a summer symphony in Australia, your brother would be off at a stem camp and your summer plans were just to work, make art and hang with your friends. Your family wasted no time in telling you that you were wasting your time, or that it was just some silly childish thing. They didn’t understand how big Julie and the Phantoms were becoming. The latest gig being opening for panic at the disco at the Orpheum. 

You couldn’t take it anymore, which is how you ended up walking to Julie’s house right in the beginning of a thunderstorm. When you finally made it to Julie’s front stoop you were drenched head to toe. Julie being the one to pull you in the front door. In her oversized smiley face sweatshirt and baggy sweats. The movie night dress code.

“Did you walk here?” She exclaims looking at the outdoor storm and turning back to her best friend. Your eyes red from crying and cheeks raw from wiping your tears rapidly. She’d been expecting you for weekly movie night, especially since her dad and brother had been away for a baseball game for the weekend. Just not in this state.

“More like swam.” You replied with a dry laugh. Trying to desperately hold yourself together. Knowing your friends were all in the living room, you didn’t want to burden them with your breakdown. 

“Hey was that the chinese food! Y/n? Whats wrong bean?” Flynn stated her mood changing halfway through the sentence noticing the state of their best friend. Who looked like she’d just had the world’s worst day. You smiled fondly at the nice name she’d given you, which was a coffee pun. 

“Family shit. Like always.” You said looking down at the floor and the puddle that you were slowly dripping onto the Molina residence’s welcome mat. Both girls smiled sympathetically, they had their fair share of stories of how bad things could get at the L/n household. 

“Come on! It’s movie night, you’re getting into cozy clothes and having junk food with your friends.” Julie said taking your hand and leading you upstairs to her room. Julie handed you spare clothes due to you being completely soaked. Then a towel to dry yourself off.

“Here, once you’re ready to come downstairs, we can put your stuff into the dryer.” Julie said smiling at her friend before leaving to give her privacy. Taking the towel she gave you and trying to dry your hair. Then changing into the cozy clothes she gave you. Your phone blowing up from texts from your family. Your parents wanting to know where you were. Not caring how hurt you were. Your siblings saying half assed apologies they didn’t mean. They’d done this before and they’d do it again. 

Ignoring the messages, you walked back downstairs. The comforting smell of chinese food wafting at you. Julie, Alex and Flynn stood at the table. Meanwhile Luke and Reggie were were at the local 7/11 getting slushies. 

“Did anyone order a hot mess?” You said jokingly getting their attention. Alex standing up and instantly hugging you as if he’d never see you again. Hugging him back. Alex’s hugs always felt as if it was a cloud. 

The Molina residence house phone then rang, the caller id labeling your house. “We can just let it go to message.” Julie said turning back from the phone to you. You shook your head, “I’m so over this bullshit.” Walking over to the phone you picked it up. 

“Hello ever so loving parental unit.” You said with sarcasm dripping off every word. “Pop off!” Flynn said as she bit into a dumpling. You bit back a smile. “Where are you? You can’t run out because you’re upset.” You heard your mom say. You rolled your eye. 

“Where i am every friday night. I told you in advance i had plans so when you take your attention span off miss perfect and genius boy remember you have a third fucking child. Goodnight!” You said promptly and then hung up placing the phone back on back on its home base. “Beyoncé would approve.” Flynn said clapping for dramatic effect.

“How much trouble are you going to be in for that?” Alex said passing your usual that Julie knew to order for you, you shrugged. “Bold of you to assume they’ll remember to ground me.” 

“Wow what a rag tag group of mommy and daddy issues we are.” Reggie announced as he placed the tray of slushies down on the counter. “Excuse you!” Julie exclaimed as she took a slip of her blueberry slushie. “She’s dead, that’s an issue.” Flynn said as she grabbed her green apple one. You choked on your food for a second, “Out of pocket!” 

“She’s right babe.” Luke said hugging her from behind. “You have mommy issues too.” Julie said turning around slightly. “Only the hottest people have both mommy and daddy issues!” Alex exclaimed holding a hand of for you and Reggie to high five. 

“My back hurts from having a healthy parental relationship and carrying that standard.” Flynn said cracking open her fortune cookie. You laughed looking around at your dysfunctional friend group. 

“We are all going to hell for these jokes alone.” You said taking a sip of your slushie. Reggie scoffed, “We’re just warming up.” 

[nlights37]

three stars ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

::In very convincing Matthew McConaughey Texan:: Alright alright alright, 3 stars, 3 fics to disclose little nuggets of info on...

1.  From Fixer Upper, Chapter 4 - Jon and Dany’s text exhange:

She was laughing even as she sent the text, knowing how touchy he was about this topic. Honestly, it was the whole reason she sent it.

Dany: I can’t believe we’ve been fake dating this long and you haven’t sent me a single dick pic 😖

The text bubble appeared for so long she was a little worried, but then his novel-length answer appeared. She was two lines in before she was laughing so hard she was crying and her vision blurred beyond her ability to continue reading at all.

Jon: How ABSOLUTELY DARE YOU?! Apparently I need to explain this AGAIN? If the Westerosi Security Agency is going to see my dick they can come here and do it in person like men. I’m not just gonna offer it up on a silver platter for them. Also need I remind you I am a small business owner, madam? This store is my kingdom and you ask me to besmirch it’s good name so you can see my cock at 2 pm on a Thursday? I’m disappointed in you Daenerys, I really am.

It should probably come as no surprise, given the ‘Buttslut’ text I shared awhile back, that a lot of the dialogue I write (including text messages) comes from the way my husband and I talk to each other, and in this case I based Jon’s reluctance to free the Peen digitally off my own husband’s unbreakable stance that sending dick pics means your dick is then somewhere in the cloud and idk I guess he thinks the Governtment is just chilling and collecting nudes all day.  Anyway, I really did ask him once when we were dating why he had never sent me a dick pic and he said something along the lines of Jon’s response here, and even now, years later, it still makes me laugh, so I used it :)

2.  A Thin Line (Just some thoughts on this fic in general, that I’m not sure I’ve shared):

I was SURE, ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that a lot of people would hate this fic.  Like, I was over the top about ‘Hey this is crack’, etc, because as much fun as I had making them just awful people to each other, I was like ‘ugh there’s gonna be some stans in both camps that maybe get pissed about this’, but I figured fuck it, let’s do it.  The thing about them in this fic that I really, really enjoyed writing was that they are completely and totally unapologetic about themselves, and letting myself just really let them be the worst versions of themselves, I don’t know, guys.  It felt good.  So good that I was like ‘hmmmm, maybe keep it in the drafts.’

Because that’s the thing I like best about them and this fic - it’s not a redemption story about two tortured souls who find each other and then learn the error of their ways.  It’s more like two villains meet at villain convention and will they birth the antichrist?  Who knows, really, but probably, yes.  Definitely.

Anyway, I really dug that so many people enjoyed their unspeakably assholish tendencies and please know I haven’t abandoned my part 3, in which Dany gets to snob it up in the North and you know, so more light bondage, maybe some matching prenups, I don’t want to give it all away.

3.  From Fang and Claw, Chapter 1:

“When you say fucking,” Drogon drawled, “what exactly do you mean, snack?”  The three were all gathered near the stone walls of the Keep, guards watching anxiously as the three creatures of legend circled and paced.

“Stop calling him that.”  Rhaegal leaned in, nipping at Drogon’s swishing black tail.  “He has a name.”

Drogon rolled his eyes, looking at his brother incredulously.  “I’ll call him whatever I like.  What’s he going to do?  Howl me to death?”

Rhaegal glared, inching closer to Ghost.  “He’s magic, like us, and he’s Jon’s, so you’d better behave.”  The green dragon growled.  “You know what mother said.”

The black dragon gave a dismissive snort, his eyes searching the windows of the Keep instead of Rhaegal or Ghost.  “Be nice.  Yes, I heard her.  This is me.  Being nice.  Not eating this talking little snack.”  His eyes shot to the wolf’s.  “Rather nice of me, isn’t it,” teeth gnashed together, grinding as Drogon uttered grudgingly, “Ghost.”

The white wolf ignored the black dragon, his eyes also falling to the windows.  “You want to know what fucking is or don’t you?”

“I want to know what it is you mean when you say Jon is fucking my mother, yes.”  Drogon sounded angry, offended even, and Ghost was surprised two mighty creatures could be so absolutely innocent to the ways of the world.  Why, he’d been fucking for years now.  Surely there were girl dragons flying about somewhere, though the lack of fucking certainly explained the black dragon’s horrible attitude.

“I feel itchy.”  Rhaegal was shifting restlessly beside him.

Ghost gave a wolfish grin.  “You’re bonded to Jon now.”  Rhaegal nodded though it was not a question.  “That’s what it feels like when Jon’s fucking your mother.”  The wolf’s mouth fell open, and he panted in Drogon’s direction.  “Like an itch you need to scratch.”

His red eyes fell to the windows till he found the one he wanted, and he whispered for the duo to follow as closely as they could as they slid along side the ancient stone, ‘til they were just under the window to Jon’s chambers.

“Hear that?”  He certainly could, and by the look of confusion on the dragons’ faces they could as well.  The Silver Dany let out a throaty yell then, followed by Jon’s name, the sounds and smells of mating flowing from the open window and out into the night.

“Is he hurting her?”  Drogon was rumbling and thrashing his tail about, rage building in those mad eyes.

But Rhaegal responded before Ghost could answer.  “No.”  He drew the word out, his head rising until he could look into the room for himself, then shooting back down to stare at Ghost.  “Why are they doing that?”

Drogon mirrored his brother’s actions, even angrier but endlessly puzzled when he lowered his head as well, clearly befuddled by what he’d seen.  “Explain this!”

Ghost gave a shrug, padding off a few paces, ready to give his brother a spot of privacy with his mate, heading for the clearing along the tree line where he could scent some rabbits running.  “It’s what they do.”  The pair was scrambling after him, landbound, awkwardly lumbering after the sleek wolf.  “Humans.”  Both dragons remained clueless, and Ghost snagged a hare and crunched down heavily, warm blood streaking his fur, downing the small prey in a few bites before continuing.  “When they want to make a pup.”

Drogon shuddered as he watched Ghost eat.  “You’re a fucking savage.”  He grumbled and groused, claws swiping out to catch an elk, idly shooting out gouts of flame to cook the meat before he began to tear it apart.  “You don’t even cook your food, little snack.”

Rhaegal ignored it all, focused only on this new knowledge.  “But our mother is a dragon.”  His eyes lit up, suddenly, turning to his brother in excitement.  “It’s how they make eggs!”

Ghost gave a snicker.  “Humans don’t lay eggs.”  He looked at the pair with amused eyes.  “You lot come from eggs?”

Rhaegal gave a nod, but Drogon preened, proud as he broke his meal’s rib cage between his jaws.  “You should be so lucky.  We certainly do.  Beautiful eggs people pay large sums of gold for.”

Ghost crouched, his attention on the deer he could now sense beyond the tree line.  “Like a chicken then.”  He leapt as the black dragon roared in outrage, his jaws sinking into the deer’s neck, and he pulled the twitching body out of the treeline to drop it in a heap before Rhaegal.

“NOT LIKE A CHICKEN!”

Rhaegal looked at Ghost pleadingly before he cooked the deer his host had provided, his eyes begging the wolf to stop baiting his brother, and Ghost grumpily complied.

“Alright, not like a chicken.  Point is, humans have pups that look like them, and they don’t come from eggs.”  He sat on his haunches, watching the pair as they ate.

“So,” Rhaegal snapped into a femur, “you meant to say that’s what Jon’s doing.  Trying to put a small human in our mother.”

The wolf couldn’t stop the snicker of amusement.  “Oh, no he’s already done that.”  He looked at the pair wonderingly.  What sort of beast were they, that they couldn’t smell the pup in their mother?  “Now he’s just fucking her because it feels good.”

There is nothing funnier to me than the idea that (1) Ghost would ever try ot explain to anyone what sex is and (2) that the dragons wouldn’t know and would be VERY offended and it took a little bit for me to write this scene way way back ago when we all thought that Season 8 would not be a massive shitstain in history because I kept laughing so hard picturing this shit.

This story is probaby one of my favorites, just because it’s silly and every magical creature is TIRED TIRED I SAY of everyone dicking around and just the notion that they’re all like ‘THESE HUMANS ARE SO DUMB UGH DO WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!”  It just really tickled me, and I might never have written it had the amazing @aweseeds not requested it after her winning bid for the Jonerys Unites charity event.  So, everyone say thank you to aweseeds lol, this might’ve just stayed in my head and silly tumblr posts without that fine investment in fandom content.

Thank you lovely @frostbitepandaaaaa for the ask!  I LOVE YOU BITCH, I AIN’T NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN’ YOU BITCH!

[daisiesforlacey]

The Costuming and Coloring of JATP : Part 1 - Julie Molina

I’ve seen so many of these posts and I wanted to make my own! I love costuming and color theory in film and I thought I’d do my own take on jatp! Please keep in mind that I am by no means an expert and this is only my thoughts, and feel free to add your own interpretations and thoughts :)

Heads up this is a super long post (I won’t be coving all of Julie’s outfits, only the ones that have significant meaning)

And none of this could have been possible without Soyon An, the costume designer of jatp! All referenced quotes and information for her can be found here, here, and here

One of the main difficulties of costume design is having the clothing fit the period, tone of the piece, and the character. The characters have to wear the clothes, not the other way around. Who is this person? What are their conflicts? How do they look at the world? What do they value? How do they grow? Just some examples of what good costume designers ask. 

They can also be used as a subtle tool to show who each character is; how we dress is a reflection of ourselves.

JULIE MOLINA:

Ok so we all know she is an absolute queen with AMAZING fits, even from the start of the show! I’m going to go chronologically, just to make it easier on all of us!

Julie starts off the series in a baggy yellow sweatshirt over her blue and white shirt, her painted jeans, fluffy slippers, and a set of necklaces! (Actually we first see her at school, where she wearing a flannel instead of the sweatshirt, but the same concepts apply) This already gives us A TON of information on her!!

Her necklaces include a Virgin Mary pendant, a nod to her heritage and religion and one of her own name, which we can assume is a gift from someone special to her

She puts on the sweatshirt after she gets home and bombed playing in front of her class. Idk about you, but I always want to wear sweatshirts and comfy clothes whenever I feel down, so I infer that that is what Julie is doing! 

There is also something to be said about the visual irony between bright yellow smiley face on the front and Julie’s own grieving

(Also can I just say that I love that Julie is allowed to be a teen and wear silly slippers because their comfortable clothes. I am so tried of teenagers being over sexualized and as a brown girl myself, it’s wonderful to see these multidimensional non white characters!)

Her own painted jeans, (also pretty baggy) and sneakers as said by Soyon An, are painted by Julie! (We also see her creativity later when drawing a cupcake on her mic for Luke’s bday, but that’s another post)

Her creativity seems to have no bounds, and it’s obvious that from the start that this is how she expresses herself!

If you want to get really analytical, one could say that the bright yellow covering up her blue collar could show how Julie herself is trying to cover up her own sadness

The blue and yellow also come up in another scene of hers with Luke, but that is another post entirely

JUST FROM HER CLOTHES ALONE WE, THE VIEWERS, ALREADY SUBCONCIOUSLY KNOW SOOOO MUCH ABOUT JULIE:

She’s most likely Catholic and cherishes her religion and family

She’s not feeling too confident in herself

She’s crazy creative and talented

She’s trying to mask some sort of sadness

ISN’T THAT INSANE??? A TELL TALE SIGN OF A GOOD COSTUMER!

Julie then moves to plaid pants and a cropped lavender blouse (Which I absolutely adore!!!) 

She has just met the boys, and Luke gave her that little pep talk in front of the studio and is now wearing form fitting clothes!

DON’T TWIST THIS: She’s wearing these clothes because she now feels more confident in herself and is ready to sit down and play Wake Up

Julie is wearing more subdued colors; the focus isn’t on her outfit, that’s not where the color is. The color is lighting Julie from behind. The focus of the moment is Julie and her music.

You’ll also notice the lighting behind her shifts from the cold early morning, to the sun rising behind her, again, very poetic. The sun is literally rising on Julie and it is a new dawn for her, and the start of the show itself

Not to mention Wake Up which is literally about moving forward and... waking up lol

This is maybe one of my favorite performance outfits of her! (Who am I kidding, all of them are my favorite)

Julie is wearing a camo jumpsuit with patches and her signature sneakers

The patches, once again, show us that Julie is creative in many ways along with her shoes

I love that all of her outfits seem like the average person could make them and wear them. Yet, these characters are still teenagers and are discovering their own personal style, which can be sort of outlandish. It really works to ground the show in reality with all of the kooky happenings

Julie is once again wearing her necklaces, and we can infer that she wears them all of the time

In this outfit (with an added Double Trouble tshirt underneath), she also sings Flying Solo. The jumpsuit is a reflection of her friendships with the guys and Flynn!

And this outfit with Bright??? Chefs kiss. This is the subtle characterization I live for!

Julie’s actress, Madison Reyes’, mother is in the armed forces. She and Soyon wanted an outfit to pay homage to her, and I think the camo works perfectly

By this time we already have a good grasp on who Julie is

Julie is wearing a neon blue leotard, silver white pants, fishnets, her drawn on white sneakers and a rainbow chunky sequin cloak. She also find a drum major’s cape from the music room. She has her hair in the same cornrowed way as she does in Stand Tall, with pink, red, and blue ribbons.

While I may be jumping the gun this early in the post, I love this detail. This is her fantasy which ends up coming true in the final number and that is just beautiful

Julie’s fantasy outfit in I Got the Music is so extra and wonderful

This is Julie’s idealized self; it is bright and unapologetic and you can’t help but notice her. The outfit is purposefully outlandish and completely unrealistic

This is the first thing that clues you in that this is a fantasy; she does a quick change from her previous outfit. You can also see that her trio of necklaces aren’t there.

She keeps some elements from her actual school outfit, the pants and presumably the leotard, they just get an upgrade

Ok now onto the breakdown:

These are her school colors

This is the first time we see Julie in blue since the first episode. So far, we have seen her in muted tones. This time the blue is vibrant. This signals to the viewers that she is not hiding anymore and has almost reclaimed the color

Soyon specifically said she wanted a hood for Julie such as the Virgin Mary is traditionally depicted with a head covering

Julie is wearing her school colors loud and proud with a cropped LFHS reddish hoodie, underneath is a bright blue leotard, a blue belt, and white distressed jeans and fishnets

Julie is now fully in her element and has formed a band with the boys!!! Woohoo!

If you recall, in this episode, Julie also interacts the most with Carrie and Nick up until now; the two characters rooted in her school life.

Most everything I said in the previous section is here too, just a little toned down.

One thing that I see in this outfit is that she’s wearing a little bit of the boys’ themes; Luke’s blue, Reggie’s red, and Alex’s denim and grey. 

This is also the day that she gets into the conflict with the boys, they go to Bobby’s to get revenge, lie to her, and bail on the dance. I see this as them becoming closer and then falling farther apart.

Julie is also wearing fishnets and socks, which mirrors Dirty Candi’s performance of Wow. This is a wonderful detail to show that the two aren’t so different after all.

I love this outfit and I will forever be mad that we never got to see her perform in it

Julie is wearing her mothers mesh tie dye top, a black tank top, and loose black striped pants

THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: This is the first time we see her wear her mother’s clothes, a physical representation of her coming to terms with her mother’s death!!!

This is also when Flynn comes up with Julie and the Phantoms, another big milestone. This is when they were supposed to make a mark on her school

(Ofc we all know this is when the boys bail...)

The next day, Julie is wearing a powder blue floral dress, sneakers, with a white t shirt and a cream colored cropped fluffy jacket (this is most aligned with my aesthetic)

Again, this shows that she is experimental with her clothes

 It is also worth noting that Soyon does a good job with establishing that she is a sneaker head, I mean have you seen her kicks????

Now is a good time to talk about character colors: good media will establish a color per character. This helps viewers easily distinguish who they are and how they connect to others. Characters may wear these colors a lot or have significant moments in these colors

The colors also have their own meanings which apply (we’ll look more into this in the Stand Tall dress)

Luke is blue, Julie is purple (as we will see later on), Alex is pink, and Reggie is Red

When characters wear another character’s color it signals to us that they will be having a ‘moment’ with the other character (getting along after fighting, learning something new, etc.)

Alternatively, if a character is wearing colors opposite to another, you know they will clash

In this episode, Julie goes to Luke’s house and learns more about him and Emily AND SHES’S WEARING HIS BLUE!!! BIG MOMENT!!!

ONCE YOU NOTICE COLOR IN FILM, YOU CAN LEARN TO PREDICT WHERE THE STORY IS GOING. THESE ARE SOME HELPFUL HINTS:

Notice a character’s colors and when another character wears them, they will be having a ‘moment’

If the color in the scene isn’t on the character, the focus isn’t on them, maybe it’s on the emotions of the scene or other characters

Colors WILL signify emotions; yellow is happy, blue can be sad or calming depending on the shade, red can be passion or anger. If a character wears a lot of one color, you can predict their emotions

Ok no hate, this is definitely not my favorite outfit. It gives me mad Shake It Up vibes, not that that’s bad, just not my thing.

Julie performs Finally Free in a teal and black dress/shirt, silver biker short, a black vest, and arm bands

It has been confirmed by Charlie and Madison that this is when Luke realizes he like Julie, which makes sense as you see that she is wearing blue (She will now start wearing more of these cool tones)

She is also wearing arm bands, something Luke does often

Her vest is also the same one as the girl from the beginning, which we all know by now is Rose, her mother!

She has upcycled the vest and added her own special twists to it! It also helps for us to see connection between Rose and performing

You can also see a dahlia pin, her mother’s favorite flower. These often make an appearance! (They’re also purple)

It’s Edge of Great Time!! This is maybe the most iconic outfit!

Julie performs in a white blouse with butterflies, her hair also with butterfly clips, her pants are constructed beautifully with black and white panels. She finished the outfit with black and white combat boots and more butterflies!

Soyon specifically said that the butterflies represent Julie coming out of her cocoon and coming into herself, like a butterfly would!

This is truly her most powerful and performance worthy outfit and sucks all of the attention to her

Julie’s clean contrast of black and white also make her stand out from the rest of the band! The combination is often a symbol of power and truth! (Think judges robes)

Time to get some tissues, Unsaid Emily, it’s your turn!

This is what I consider Julie’s most average and basic outfit, but there is a lot to analyze here: A magenta sweater and jeans.

This sweater is her mothers; meaning it is probably a comforting item for her, seeing as she is about to have a very emotional moment, calling back to that yellow sweater in the beginning!

Also see how this has blue, pink, and red designs, and I’m sure by now you can tell what I am going to say: These are the guys colors! 

She’s going to have a heartfelt moment involving them, and it fits. This is one of the emotional climax’s of the show and this is when she becomes even closer with the Phantoms

You can tell, just from her standing on the steps of Luke’s house what is about to go down (Well maybe not all of the tears, but still)

Julie goes to check on the guys in the studio in a blue floral shirt and blue jeans

These are once again, Luke’s colors, but are slowly becoming THEIR colors. She wears these when she is saying goodbye to her best friends

This is also the outfit that Julie’ wears when she finds them after the performance and they haven’t crossed over. 

It makes perfect sense that she is wearing all blue when SHE AND LUKE HUG!!! (And then all of the boys too in the best group hug ever)

Of course we’re gonna end the post with this absolutely ICONIC outfit!

Julie is wearing a purple dress with purple tulle, a bedazzled leather jacket, and her hair IN THE SAME STYLE AS I GOT THE MUSIC!!!

Lets go one by one:

The dress is a Balmain dress that Soyon got for $500, then she completely deconstructed it and made it to fit Madison! that’s incredible

This is the climax of the show: the boy are ‘doing their unfinished business,’ Julie is playing the Orpheum, and what color is she wearing but PURPLE! What color are dahlias? PURPLE! What color has had the most significance? PURPLE! What do red, blue, and pink make up? PURPLE! PURPLE IS JULIE’S CHARACTER COLOR

You’ll also notice that her jacket has pink, red, and blue accents, the colors of Alex, Reggie and, Luke, to show that they have become a part of her and she is now a part of them

That’s the same for her hair

It shows how she has now achieved her dream, her make believe world is now her reality

I really think we’ll see more of Julie in purple in the seasons to come, now that she has found herself

I hope that you all have learned a little about color and costuming in this post! Once you get the hang of it, it becomes really fun, like a puzzle!

I hope to do more of these with the rest of the characters as well!

Feel free to add on your own ideas and interpretations!

[o-w-quinlan]

Digimon Adventure 2020, episode 10 reaction (and over-analysis)

This week, some absolutely amazing stuff mixed with some pretty bad stuff, and neither of them is what you’d think it’d be.

By the way, this post is pretty long. Just a warning.

The episode starts with an ellipsis from last week’s ending. The Chosen Children are all in a cave, having escaped in the confusion, as Koushiro’s recording of it plays behind them. As silly as the idea of Koushiro starting to record what was happening in the middle of a life-and-death situation is, it actually manages to underline how everyone is feeling about those events perfectly. The moment is then ruined when apparently Koushiro managed to get the information from the fortress before it was destroyed. It makes no sense that he would have had the time to do that, and when Jou makes the completely reasonable question as to how, it just gets ignored.

We go back to Taichi and here’s where the episode shines. As action-focused as the series has been, it’s actually pretty good at showing small moments that characterize the children (and to a lesser degree the Digimon). Taichi’s clenched fist and neutral expression, the use of flashbacks (so much better than last week), Ogremon’s pride influencing and motivating Taichi and Agumon... it’s all great. Yamato, meanwhile, is rather pragmatic (though his distrust of Ogremon’s information seems more paranoid than actually reasonable). The small combo of Mimi-Jou-Sora perfectly sets up both Mimi’s and Jou’s character arcs for the next episodes. The Agumon and Taichi reunion is extremely touching, as is the show making it obvious that Ogremon is dead without explicitely saying it (I’m assuming Toei forbid the writers from that). We get emphasis on Taichi and Agumon thinking and feeling the same, which will be relevant later on. Taichi’s, Yamato’s and Sora’s conversation shows that, while the emotions have now calmed down, every argument they said still holds true. It’s a couple of truly excellent scenes...

And then we go back to Koushiro’s ultra-convenient and unexplained information from the fortress. The map we’re shown makes no sense considering it shows the enemy HQ in the middle of an uninterrupted forest, when we know there’s a lake of miasma and a desert at least in the proximity. To be completely fair, this moment does give some Taichi-Koushiro interaction by making it obvious everything Koushiro did is in the service of supporting Taichi’s position in the argument (why else specifically give Taichi the enemy information?).

Off-screen, they come up with a plan to have Taichi and Agumon serve as bait for MetalTyranomon. This makes no sense. Agumon was the most injured from their most recent fight, why would they let him fight alone? If the entire attack plan requires them to make use of a small window of time in which MetalTyranomon is vulnerable, why not send their acknowledged fastest digimon, Garurumon? Are the kids seriously fine with Taichi and Agumon going on what’s almost certainly a suicide mission? Yes, I know both Sora and Yamato have some dramatic staring moments that imply they are not fine with that, but considering they do nothing, I’m not going to count them. The plan is perfectly fine as something Taichi and Agumon would come up with, but it makes no sense as something the other kids would agree with. If they’re going to do this, then please at least give us a scene with them discussing the plan and agreeing it’s for the best, otherwise it just makes everyone but Taichi (and maybe the Digimon) look terrible.

The introduction to the miasma is great. The characters reacting to how it just reeks of evil, Mimi throwing Jou’s book to make sure it’s actually dangerous and being completely unapologetic (there’s a lot of Mimi-Jou interactions this episode, and in the past few ones, and I love every second of it). The only problem is that, while the show establishes why Ikkakumon can’t cross it, it does not say anything about why Kabuterimon and Birdramon can’t. I’d accept any explanation why it’s a bad idea, but I want to see them actually discuss the obvious solution before discarding it. A single flashback to Gesomon would have been enough.

Then it’s the star of the episode, the Greymon/MetalTyranomon fight... and it has more problems than any other fight in this series. MetalTyrano’s original attack for this series, the electric web, is simply terrible. The fact that it makes sure to not hit the opponent first but just to encase him in some dodgeable weaker beams makes it seem ineffective. The more standard missiles are fine, but after a great sequence where MetalTyrano baits Greymon into attacking him while he’s “vulnerable” only to then hit him from the side and has him completely at his mercy while still ready to shoot missiles, we get... ellipsis. Greymon and Taichi were dead, there was simply no plausible way for them to escape that attack, but they did it off-screen anyway. This is then slightly redeemed by Greymon suceeding in his plan to attack MetalTyrano while he’s switching attacks only to find that it’s completely ineffective. The missile conveniently throws them to the same place their friends are, and upon seeing MetalTyrano has Greymon on the ropes, the other digimon do... nothing. Seriously, why. I understand if Greymon doesn’t want help, but I don’t understand why the others aren’t offering it. Oh, and MetalTyranomon runs extremely fast to get there, which just highlights how static he looked for the previous part of the episode.

After that, we get Taichi and Greymon being completely in sync, thinking the same, with Greymon suddenly seeming a lot more powerful than he did before, and the evolution triggers. Honestly, while it’s certainly not among my favorite evolutions to Perfect in the franchise, I am intrigued. For the majority of previous series, evolutions have been about the Tamer resolving a personal issue, perhaps inspired by their partner. In Adventure 2020, though, evolution is about the depth of the bond between Tamer and Digimon. While I think Ruki and Renamon did this far better in Tamers, I do think it’s in general the best evolution trigger concept and thus am glad they’re using it in this series too.

Anyway, it’s MetalGreymon vs MetalTyranomon, and it’s completely amazing. MetalGreymon looks like a war machine (as he should), and the light effects on the metal are great. He’s far, far more mobile than he’s ever been before, and pulls the exact same “hit with tai” trick MetalTyranomon did on him before. MetalTyrano being amped by the miasma, and MetalGrey showing extraordinary speed to move out of the way before finally killing his enemy, was done perfectly. The fight ends with MetalGreymon devolving to Agumon (curiously, Taichi is engulfed in a sphere of light during this and dropped to the ground), who then wonders if Ogremon was watching the fight. On Agumon’s part, it’s the perfect ending to the issues set-up by the previous episode and by this one.

Oh, and Taichi tanked an explosion from MetalTyranomon. We better get an acknowledgement that kids are more durable in this world soon.

To end the episode, we have an scene where the kids decide to separate after visual aid from yet another convenient Koushiro map. This decision makes no sense, and the show tries to handwave this by having Yamato say it’s for certain that one of the two groups will find the HQ, which it’s not. The most reasonable position for the enemy HQ would be in the middle of the miasma, since no one but them can cross it. There’s no actual reason for them to separate other than “the script says so”. At least it’ll most likely lead to some great interactions between the smaller groups, so I’m fine with this.

I was originally going to make a post summarizing how I feel about this series 10 episodes in, since I thought the first evolution to Perfect was a good place to do so, but this episode feels in general worse than any other one in the series (with the exception of 4, which is the only one I’d call straightforwardly bad) that I don’t want it to poison my general thought on the series. I’ll do that later, next time an opportunity shows itself.

Next week, Sorato shipping, WereGarurumon evolving and Gomamon being best boi:

He’s doing this in the middle of a desert.