#this is a post in jest

[andrebearakovsky]

you guys are mistaken. mikko rantanen never actually was a carolina hurricane. he got traded directly from the avs to the stars, we all know this. those of you saying he was a cane at some point are having some kind of collective fever dream i think. everything has an easy explanation. those pictures of him in a canes jersey? photoshop. people edit pictures of players into other jerseys all the time. you can find photos of connor mcdavid in a maple leafs jersey if you looked hard enough, doesn't mean he ever played for them. how did martin necas end up in colorado and logan stankoven end up in carolina then? come on, guys, trades between more than two teams are a regular occurrence. yeah, it was weird for chicago to throw themselves in there and send taylor hall to the canes in exchange for acting like some kind of sketchy broker in the whole thing, but do you really expect for that organization to do things that make any kind of sense after everything? no, of course not. "but i saw him!" you say. "i saw rantanen playing with the canes!" when? did you, personally, go to a game in raleigh? and if so, are you SURE you actually saw him? the canes already have a guy who wears his number, you might have been mistaken. can you say, with absolute certainty, that you saw mikko rantanen? you can't. rantanen himself said he wouldn't want to sign with the canes. he never even wanted to leave colorado, he said. why would the canes be dumb enough to acquire a player who didn't want to play for them? you guys are imagining things. this is simply one of those rumors that goes nowhere. like crosby playing on an nhl team with mackinnon, it's just a fantasy with no basis in reality. mikko rantanen was never a carolina hurricane. you dreamed that. it wasn't real, and all those things that you guys think are related to his so-called stint with the hurricanes can be explained away.

however, the rolex watch that suddenly appeared in jack roslovic's possession? that one i don't have an explanation for

[iamthetruestrepairman]

was about to make a post about how it’s fun to have a “cringe hour” where you just let yourself do cringy things for an hour, but then I remembered every hour shpuld be a cringe hour. Peace and love on planet do whatever you want forever

[hinamie]

green

[columboposting]

OK not to Foxpost on main but as much as I appreciate the trope of the coruscant guard being like woefully underfunded and undersupported by the senate because they’re “not front line troops” and therefore “don’t need things like bacta or rations etc” and like I get where you’re coming from, but like…. they may not be on the front line but they are the most significant and final line of defense for the capital of the republic and more specifically the senate, who — and I cannot stress this enough — are the people who decide whether or not the coruscant guard gets money. The corries do the work of cops AND the secret service, and maybe throw in the national guard — imagine if the united states defunded the cops (seriously, imagine…), specifically all the cops that work in DC, AND the secret service because oh they’re purely concerned with domestic affairs and the security of the most essential elements of our republic, they don’t need resources. You’re talking about fucking upside down banana world and certainly not about the political priorities of a fading republic succumbing to nationalism, militarism, and fascism.

If I were a late era galactic senator, I would have funding the coruscant guard as my top fucking priority. I’d be signing off on building fucking cop city overtop of coruscant’s last nature reserve, i’d be giving them experimental bazookas and tanks and shit up the wazoo. Twelve types of alien police dog and two models from Space Boston Dynamics. Horses. Fox keeps trying to find a weapon they won’t finance for him and it’s not working, at this point he’s considering asking for a lightsaber just to see what happens. I’m not saying the coruscant guard should live in the lap of luxury or anything but they should probably have ample if not excessive access to the military resources they need to do their jobs — medical supplies, armaments, armor, etc. Because if politicians are one thing, that thing is interested above all in their own security, and the coruscant guard is literally their personal protective army, why would they not want their personal protective army to be well funded. “I’m chancellor palpatine and I’m going to deprive my slave gestapo of medical supplies so that their limbs fall off when they try to murder my enemies” come on man be serious.

[girlinthetardis04]

"Oh, I'm so addicted to otome games I went from Mystic Messenger to Obey Me! to Love & Deepspace, teehee"

FOOLS

YOU

AMATEURS

YOU SEE THIS?

YOU SEE THIS???

THIS IS 55 GAMES! FIFTY FIVE!!!

AND FOR LIKE 45 OF THOSE I'M THE ONLY PERSON IN THE FANDOM

GET ON MY LEVEL NOOBS

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Danse Macabre

[Commission]

[wtftaylr]

just two geezers flirting keep scrolling

[cartoon-cornplateur]

Well, someone's real mad they need to pretend to hate their nemesis again

Are you ready to die, heinz doofenshmirtz?

[iamnmbr3]

Harry: I don't think about Draco that much. Just because I happen to remember every single thing I saw him look at in Borgin & Burkes four years ago and coincidentally noticed the second he got a new traveling cloak because I have his whole wardrobe memorized doesn't mean I'm obsessed with him or anything. I'm just generally observant like that. It doesn't mean I care about him.

Ginny: You forgot about the time a piece of Voldemort came out of a diary and possessed me.

Ron: You didn't notice I was eating spiked chocolates right in front of you because you were staring at Draco's dot on the map...AGAIN.

Hermione: Do you even know my parents' names?

Harry: ... Huh. I was right. Draco's skin is definitely a slightly different color than it usually is.

[ollierachnid]

close enough, welcome back silence of the lambs

[wreniriis]

I love them (they’re stupid)

[blighted-elf]

This interaction will always be so important. To me

[mroddmod]

hi. i made a clone oc :3 i’ll post more of him, his men, and his generals soon 🫶

[l3irdl3rain]

Ran into an unbelievably handsome man at the bar two weekends in a row. My friends have been trying to convince me he is hitting on me. Very cool, hope that’s true. do you guys think I could date an unbelievably handsome man and just not mention the 6 cats thing?

[carnivalwizard]

wizards in the workplace

[castalianspring]

Malex text post memes, part 4

part 3, part 2, part 1