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emmiesoverthemoon · 3 days ago

Note

NGHH I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE THE GD SMUT U DID hehe i was the one who requested it (im freaky anon hehe)

I HAVE ANOTHER ONE (if u want to do it)

can you do needy daesung kinda of YOU KNOW? like orgasm control yk like whimpering and stuff… HAHA i’m sorry im embarrassed writing this

THERE NEEDS TO HE MORE DAESUNG FANFICS 💔

welcome back to my domain im so glad u loved ur previous request! ill try my best with this one too!! >:)

❥ trying something new

Pairing: daesung x reader

Word count: 2,623

Summary: Daesung wants to try something new with you, and you can’t get enough of seeing him embarrassed.

Tags: absolute total freaky business, smut, bj, edging, p in v, teasing, fluff and smut

cross posted on ao3 here

The moment Daesung cleared his throat, you knew something in him was different.

He’d always been a bold man—the kind of guy that could waltz into any room, flash that energetic, charming, boyish grin, and have everyone at ease in an instant. Radiation waves of pure confidence and sunshine are second nature to him, woven into the very fabric of who he is. But right now? Right now, he is a flustered mess.

You watched him fidget, tapping restless fingers against his thigh, his usual golden, sunlit energy dimmed by something weighty. His knee bounced. He exhaled through his nose. And when he finally lifted his gaze to yours, his cheeks were red. Not the faint pink flush of exertion or laughter, or the hilarious flush he always gets after drinking, but a deep, mortifying crimson that spread from the tips of his ears down his neck like wildfire.

You tilt your head, intrigued. "You okay?"

"I'm fine!" he blurted—too fast, too bright. Then, as if realizing his own betrayal, he groans and drags a hand down his face. "No. Not fine. Just—God, this is stupid."

You set your glass down, leaning in, your curiosity eating away at you. You needed to know what was making Daesung act like this. "Now you have to tell me."

He let out a breathy laugh, but there’s no usual childlike glee to it. He was stalling. You could see it, feel it. It made something coil warm and expectant in your stomach.

"I'm serious," you pressed, your voice softer now, coaxing. You placed a hand on his thigh, near to his knee. "You can tell me anything."

He swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing in sync. Then, in a move so unlike him, he avoided your eyes, focusing intently on the space between his fingers as he rubbed his hands together. "Okay. So, there's this... thing. A new thing. I wanna try it. With you." His voice dropped an octave, thick with something tangled between excitement and sheer, gut-wrenching mortification.

You raised a brow, smirking. "Sounds intriguing."

"It is! I mean—I think it is? But also, maybe it's weird? I don’t think it's weird, per-se, but now I’m questioning everything because my brain is being a little—" He made an exploding gesture near his temple, eyes wide with dramatic panic. "And now I’m just sitting here, turning red like a damn tomato while you look at me like that."

You could not help the grin that pulled further at your lips. "Like what?"

"Like you're having the time of your life watching me suffer."

“No…not at all,” you drag out, biting back a laugh. “Actually a little bit."

He groaned again, tipping his head back, his fluffy hair flowing down his head. "This is so much harder than it should be." Then, finally—finally—he squared his shoulders and meets your gaze, his deep breath shuddering just slightly at the exhale. "Okay. I just need to say it. Right now. Just—rip the Band-Aid off. Okay. Okay."

A pause.

A heartbeat.

Then:

"Can we try o-denial or edging or whatever the name is? I’ve never done it before, and I’m curious of what it feels like" He confesses, all in one breath, all in a rush, as if speaking it any slower might actually kill him. If you were not paying attention so closely, you actually would have not been able to understand a single word that left his mouth. Pink dusted your cheeks at the thought, a crystal clear contrast to the deep shade of red he was currently.

Silence settled between you for half a second before his hands fly to his face, muffling what can only be a groan of sheer regret. "Oh my God, I actually said it. I'm gonna die now. Bury me where we first met, thanks."

You laugh—full, bright, delighted. Not because you’re making fun of him--maybe a little--, but because this--this--is rare. Seeing him like this, all wound up and uncharacteristically unsure, is new. And new with him has always been exciting.

So you reached for him, fingers brushing his, grounding him. "Hey," you murmur, and when he peeked at you from behind his hands, you offer him the softest, smile, trying to comfort him. Which would work better in his favour if the words that came out from your soft lips were not dripping with pure seductive teasing. "Tell me more."

And that is how Daesung ended up in your shared bed, on his back, writhing with pleasure as you had your mouth wrapped around his throbbing cock, incessantly teasing him. You loved this newfound opportunity of power over him.

From your point of view, you could feel Daesung's growing need and desperation as he begged you for release. Looking up from your position between his thighs, you could see the desire and hunger in his eyes, the desperation in his pathetic little pleas that slipped from his puffy lips. The power of control, the ability to make or break him, it's exhilarating, intoxicating. Every moan, every sigh, every struggled chant of your name is the sound of surrender, the sweet taste of victory. You prolong his ecstasy, teasing and torturing him; curling your tongue around him, hollowing your cheeks, occasionally taking him to the back of your throat. Holding him at the edge of pleasure and the best kind of pain might have become your favourite hobby. His desperation grows with each passing moment, 'my God,' 'please', 'just a little more sweetheart', his words blur together.

As you continued to tease Daesung, you could see the desperation growing in his eyes, the need pulsing through his veins. His hands clutched at the sheets, his body twisting in anticipation, the very image of desire and longing. You could hear his ragged breaths, feel the heat of his skin against your own as you held him captive to your will.

Each touch, each caress, it's a cruel and calculated game, and you revel in the power you hold over him. His pleas for release only fuel your desire to torture him further, to string him along the edge of pleasure and pain. And so you continue, never relenting, never breaking, your focus unwavering, your determination unshakable. This is your domain, and you rule it with the iron fist of a goddess.

"Please, let me--please I need to--," whimpers flooded out of Daesung's mouth, it was adorable how he was too embarrassed to admit how out of control he was of his mind and body. You revelled in it. Humming in reply, albeit a little muffled--to be fair, your mouth was full. The vibration coursed through his cock and made him groan even louder.

"Oh my God--It's so good, you're too--good baby," Every sentence Daesung could conjure out of his throat was interrupted by a moan, heavy sigh, or a physical twitch, it was such a cute sight, and you were drinking it all in. You now understood why he loved overstimulating you so much, this was great. After locking your eyes with his, you felt his cock twitch again from on your flattened tongue--he was close to finishing again. So promptly, you took a deep breath through your nose and plunged down, taking him all the way--and then pulling yourself clean off of him just as fast, cutting his euphoria off before he could orgasm, which earned a high pitched sob to erupt from him. Your eyes softened at the sight of Daesung attempting to recover from teetering on the line between pleasure and ache. This was his first time doing this kind of thing, after all.

"That's three times now lovely, do you think you can hold out longer?" You asked, the last thing you wanted was to cause actual discomfort or pain. You had your left hand rubbing up and down his thigh comfortingly, and your right hand softly gripping the base of his red, overstimulated cock, fingers tapping gently along the shaft. Daesung took a minute to answer as he was absolutely flushed, wrecked, and breathless, so you gave him all the time he needed.

"I--I don't know... It feels so good, but also it's starting to hurt a bit when you stop, and not in the good way..." Daesung stutters out, his breath beginning to catch up. "I don't want to interrupt your fun..."

"Hey, hey, don't worry, it's okay, lovely," Your heart cracked a little at the latter comment, his happiness and want was the fun. “Now, we can either stop entirely, or I can make you cum for reals, no breaking off. It's up to you and what you think you can take." You let go of him now, wiping your mouth from any residues or saliva with your sleeve and leaning over him to press soft, loving kisses across his warm cheeks and forehead, flooding care and adoration in each peck. Those were some of his favourite places for your lips to touch, it was always the 'number one cure to all his ailments,' he would often proclaim.

Daesung let out a small, light chuckle, covering his eyes, embarrassed by your sweet actions, as if that was more humiliating than the compromising position he was in under you not even five minutes prior. Before you could think or react, his large arms leapt up from the sheets and wrapped around your body, holding you impossibly close. He tucked his head into your neck, hiding his face nervously, causing you to laugh at his adorable disposition, and also because soft hair was brushing gently against ticklish areas. More so the former than the latter. Daesung then mumbled something, but it was indistinguishable as whatever it was was silenced by his mouth pressing into your skin.

You 'roughly' grasped his jaw, forcing him to leave the sanctuary of the section between your neck and shoulder and look you in the eye. "What was that, hmm?" You questioned teasingly. The deep flush from before this escapade had begun had returned. You knew where this was going, you just wanted to hear him say it.

"I want us both to finish--it's not fair if it's only me feeling good here," Daesung mumbled, confessing, "but like, not orally. I need you, so bad baby. Please?"

The second you nod in consent, you feel yourself being flipped onto your back against the smooth, cool sheets, your face flushing more and more, and any feeling of dominance slipping from your grasp. Daesung hovers over you, rippling with desire as he captures your lips in a hard, needy kiss. Your hands run across his chest, your nails leaving light lines in their wake.

Feeling more pent-up than ever, Daesung urgently lifts your hips to remove your bottoms from your legs, then kneeled on the mattress between your thighs. His hand dipped down to toy with you tantalisingly slow for a little while, ensuring you were prepped for him. Not that that was really necessary, you were already soaked from earlier.

"Aww, baby girl," he cooed, "Did me being under you make you all needy, hm?" You squeaked embarrassingly in response, him talking dirty you always put you in a trance. He licked his fingertips clean and aligned his cock with your entrance, eliciting an involuntary shiver from you both. Then, He pushes inside quickly, impaling you deeply with a single thrust. The haste of his action caught you slightly off guard, a subconscious gasp left you as a result of the intrusion, a mix of pleasure and slight discomfort setting its course through your body.

The sensation was overwhelming; his muscular frame enveloped you fully as he established a hard, dependable rhythm after ensuring your discomfort had faded away. Quickly acclimating, you were consumed by desire, your cravings for more and more fuelling an everbuilding inferno of lust as the relentless pacing continued. You made no effort to conceal any calls of his name or praises that rose and fell from your throat. Glancing to your face, Daesung soaked in your delightful expression of ecstasy and concentration painted on your visage, your back arching to meet his thrusts.

You felt hands roughly grasp your hips as he drove himself somehow even deeper within you. Instinctively, your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in, whispering breathy pleas in his ear for him to go faster, harder. Oh how he loved hearing you like this--all because of him. The headboard creaked against the wall behind, a metronome for the primal symphony of your animalistic carnal need.

Feeling confidence settle within you once more, you take an opportunity when Daesung had slowed to take a breath to roll him onto his back and straddle his waist. You took control, your hands gripping his thighs behind you for stability as you rode him with passion, your movements smooth and deliberate. He groaned out in appreciation, his hands roaming your body, grazing your sensitive skin, igniting sparks of electricity at every section of you.

Daesung's strong hands slid down your back, leaning you forward, fingers returning home to your hips, taking control of your movements. Your hands took purchase of the sheets on either side of his head as he bent his knees to thrust up to meet you halfway. Your breath became increasingly more ragged, your muscles clenching around him with each thrust, the sensation of his cock swelling within you. Lost in your own mind, consumed with sensual depravity, you feel your face be pulled in for a gentle, loving kiss, tongues dancing smoothly in a dance, juxtaposing the messy, rough movements below you.

Daesung nips at your lower lip, drawing a soft gasp from you, which devolved to a moan of elation as he speeds up from beneath you. Pressure builds in your core, an impending wave of pleasure crescendoing within you, threatening to overwhelm you as the intensity of lust approaches its peak.

"Fuck--," you whisper, panting heavy breaths, "I'm so close--God Daesung!" He looked at you, deeply engraving the desperation across your complexion into his memory. You calling his name in such a erotic voice would always be material to fuel his fire with for a very long time.

"Yeah, baby?" He grunted huskily, his voice dropping several octaves in your ear. And with that, he flips you onto your stomach, raising your hips and kneeling on one knee and the other foot pressed to the mattress to ensure he'd hit the most satisfying spots to bring you to your orgasm. "I'm nearly there too, let me feel you shatter around me, baby girl. Come on."

The building pressure in you washes waves of ecstasy throughout your whole body as you tighten impossibly around him, tears forming in your eyes and lightly dusting your face in pure euphoria. Daesung let out a mix of saccharine whimpers, high moans, and indecipherable praises as he reached his own highs, your pulsing muscles eliciting every last drop out of him that he had to offer you. The two of you collapsing onto the bed below you, becoming a tangle of sweaty limbs, your chests heaving and pulses racing. Daesung pulled you close, cradling you in his strong arms, kissing all over your warm face tenderly as aftershocks began to subside.

"Was that good, sweetheart?" He asks you, you nod, far too exhausted to formulate a verbal answer. He laughs amusingly, lifting you to the ensuite bathroom to clean you from your activities. After washing up, you both drift off to a deep sleep, feeling safe and secure in each other's embrace, sated and full of love for the one in your arms.

thank you for reading!

sorry this took a little bit, i literally get so flustered writing stuff like this so i have to take a break every two minutes😀😀

#daesung #kang daesung #daesung x reader #kang daesung x reader #bigbang x reader #bigbang #fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #smut #emmiesoverthemoon

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gdinthehouseee · 7 hours ago

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Hotline: KWON JI-YONG x READER

summary: you're one of the lucky few who gets selected for a phone call with g-dragon himself! good thing this time it's not being recorded...

word count: 2426

tags: fluff: flirting and teasing, suggestive themes

ao3 link,, prompt written by @infinetlyforgotten - i hope i did this justice!!

Ji-yong leans back in his chair, phone in hand, scrolling through the long list of numbers submitted in response to his post. He smirks to himself, amused at the sheer volume of fans hoping for a random five-minute call. It’s been fun so far—cute, endearing, full of stammering voices and excited giggles. He enjoys making his fans happy, even if it’s just for a brief moment, especially when he had been feeling the loneliness truly getting to him.

He dials the next number, and something shifts.

“Hello?”

The second you answer, he forgets how to function. Your voice is warm honey, smooth and rich, flowing through his speaker like something out of a dream. His breath catches in his throat. He even momentarily forgets to speak.

“…Hello?” You repeat, ignoring the fear that it might not be him, a hint of amusement in your tone this time. “Did you pocket-dial me or—”

“No—” Ji-yong blurts out, sitting up straighter. “No, I meant to call.” He exhales a laugh, dragging a hand down his face as he tries to pull himself together. “Though, I’d say it’s already a lucky accident.”

Never mind. That was definitely him.

“Oh?” You chuckle, voice like velvet. “Smooth. You flirt like this with all your fans?”

“Only the ones with voices like yours.”

It’s meant to be a cheeky throwaway line, but the moment it leaves his mouth, he feels the warmth creeping up the back of his neck. Why did he say that? He sounds ridiculous.

But then you laugh—low, sweet, and just a little bit teasing.

“So this is what it’s like to be on the receiving end of G-Dragon’s infamous flirting,” you muse. “Gotta admit, I see the appeal.”

Ji-yong blinks, caught off guard. He’s used to flirty reactions, sure—shy giggles, overwhelmed gasps—but this? Someone actually keeping up with him, matching his energy?

It’s dangerous.

“Oh?” He tilts his head, smirking. “You mean you weren’t a fan before this?”

“Hmm… I don’t know,” you tease. “Maybe I just like watching you squirm.”

Ji-yong chokes on air. He leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he laughs. “Damn—you don’t hold back, do you?”

“Not my fault you’re so fun to mess with,” you say smoothly.

He groans dramatically, but his face is burning. He’s got the stupidest grin on his face, and he can’t even hide it. This is supposed to be just another fan call—just five minutes, a little flirting, a little teasing—but now he’s the one getting wrecked.

“I think I should be the one interviewing you,” he mutters. “How does it feel to have G-Dragon wrapped around your finger in under three minutes?”

You hum. “Pretty powerful, honestly. I might start charging for lessons.”

He actually whines. “You’re dangerous.”

“Now you’re catching on.”

Ji-yong laughs, the sound coming straight from his chest. He doesn’t even realize how much time has passed—until his phone buzzes, signaling that the five minutes are up. His stomach drops.

“Oh,” you murmur, clearly catching on. “Time’s up, huh?”

He stares at the screen. Technically, yes. He should be moving on to the next call, but for the first time tonight, he doesn’t want to. His fingers hover over the screen, hesitating. He tilts his head, biting his lip before letting out a slow exhale.

“…You know, I don’t have to hang up just yet.”

A pause. Then—

“Oh?” Your voice dips slightly, amused. “Breaking your own rules, are we?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “What can I say? You’ve got me hooked.”

“And here I thought I was just another fan,” you tease.

He huffs a laugh. “Yeah, no. You’re trouble.”

“But you like it.”

“…Maybe I do.” Silence stretches for a moment, comfortable, easy. Then Ji-yong leans back, smirking to himself. “Besides,” he muses, “it’s not like anyone’s keeping track of how long I spend on each call. There were thousands of submissions. Who’s gonna know if I stick around a little longer?”

"So, tell me, G-Dragon—what exactly is it about me that’s got you risking your entire fan service event?"

He groans, dragging a hand down his face with a grin. "Don’t make me say it."

"Oh, but now I have to hear it," you tease. "If I’m making the Kwon Ji-yong bend his own rules, I should at least know why."

"You do know why," he mutters.

"Do I?"

Ji-yong bites his lip, hesitating for a split second before sighing dramatically. "Fine." He shifts in his seat, voice dropping ever so slightly. "It’s your voice."

"My voice?"

"You know what you’re doing with it." He shakes his head. "You sound like… I don’t know, like late-night secrets. Like something I’d get addicted to if I’m not careful."

A beat of silence. Then—

"Damn," you murmur. "That was kinda poetic."

He groans, laughing as he slouches down in his chair. "I know! What are you doing to me?"

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I kinda love the way you sound too?"

He stills. Heat creeps up the back of his neck, a slow, steady warmth that spreads across his skin. He should be used to compliments by now—he's heard everything from breathless confessions to outright marriage proposals—but for some reason, this? From you? It hits different.

"Yeah?" His voice comes out softer than he intended.

"Mhmm."

A smirk tugs at his lips. "And what exactly do I sound like?"

You hum, pretending to think. "Hmm… Let’s see. A little raspy, a little smooth. Definitely addictive. Like something that will linger in the back of my mind even after we hang up."

Ji-yong exhales, running a hand through his hair as he grins at the ceiling. "You are trouble."

"So you keep saying," you tease. "Yet here you are, still on the phone."

Ji-yong chuckles. "You make it sound like I have a choice."

"Don’t you?"

"Not even a little."

The silence that settles between you isn’t the kind that demands to be filled—it’s the rare kind, the effortless kind. It lingers, soft and unhurried, stretching out like the quiet between verses in a song, like the pause before a secret is shared. There’s no pressure to speak, no expectation to keep the moment alive, because somehow, it already is. And maybe that’s what startles you the most—not the teasing, not the flirting, but how easy it feels, how natural it is to simply exist in the space between words with him.

You had submitted your phone number as a shot in the dark when you were scrolling mindlessly on your socials—not expecting to be selected among the lucky few, let alone flustering him and making him want to stay on the phone with you. Not only had Ji-yong called, but somehow, you had him completely hooked—flustered, lingering, unwilling to end the conversation even though he was supposed to have moved on minutes ago. You weren’t just another quick call, another fleeting moment in a long list of fans. No, you had done something you never imagined possible—

"I’m not usually like this, you know." He finally spoke up again, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Oh?"

"I mean, yeah, I flirt," he admits. "But I don’t usually—" He pauses, searching for the right words. "Get like this. All flustered and… stupidly into it."

You laugh, the sound light and teasing. "Stupidly into me, you mean?"

He groans, tipping his head back. "You really love making me suffer, don’t you?"

"A little," you admit. "But only because you’re making it so easy."

Ji-yong grins. He should be embarrassed, maybe even a little concerned about how fast you’ve gotten under his skin—but instead, he finds himself leaning into it.

"So," you muse, playful again. "How much longer do I have before you finally hang up?"

He scoffs. "Why do you sound so sure that I’m the one who’s gonna end the call?"

"Oh?" You chuckle. "You planning to wait until I hang up first?"

He smirks. "Let’s just say I’m not in a hurry to let you go."

Your voice drops into something softer, something warmer. "Good. Neither am I."

Ji-yong shifts in his seat, biting his lip as he glances at the clock. The numbers glare back at him, taunting him with the reality that this call should’ve been over minutes ago. But he doesn’t care. Not when your voice is still curling around his ears, warm and teasing, laced with something that makes his pulse tick just a little faster. He leans back, running a hand through his hair with a smirk. "You know," he murmurs, voice dipping lower, "if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like keeping me on the phone."

"Mm." You hum, thoughtful, playful. "And if I do?"

"Then I’d say you’re playing a very risky game.”

"Am I?" You chuckle, light and airy. "You’re the one who called me, Ji-yong. If anything, you walked right into it."

He exhales sharply, shaking his head. "Unbelievable. First, you fluster me, then you trap me?"

"You say that like you don’t love it."

And—fuck. You’re right. He does love it. Loves the way you aren’t afraid to push back, to tease him just as much as he teases you. Loves the way your voice curls around his name like you’ve said it a hundred times before, easy and familiar. Loves that you aren’t giggling nervously or fumbling over words, but rather, you’re playing with him—matching his rhythm, keeping pace like you belong in this dance. It’s been too long since he’s felt this kind of thrill from something so simple.

"You’re trouble," he murmurs, letting the warmth seep into his tone.

"You keep saying that."

"Because it’s true."

You hum, as if considering something. "Tell me, Ji-yong," you muse, voice dipping ever so slightly. "If I am trouble… what are you going to do about it?"

His breath hitches.

Oh.

So that’s how we’re playing this now.

He grins, slow and wicked, as he tilts his head, pressing the phone closer to his ear. "That depends," he murmurs, voice rich with amusement. "Are you the kind of trouble that wants to be chased? Or the kind that wants to be caught?"

The pause that follows is heavy, thick with something just beneath the surface. And then—

"Hmm," you hum, letting the sound drag out, teasing. "That depends."

"Depends on what?"

"On how good you are at chasing." Your voice drops, syrupy sweet, just a little taunting. "I don’t make it easy."

“Oh?" His voice is lower now, curiosity and something else bleeding into his tone. "You like making people work for it?"

"Only if they’re worth the effort."

"Damn."

You chuckle. "What?"

"You’re really gonna make me suffer, aren’t you?"

"Or maybe I’d let you catch me."

His fingers tighten around his phone, grip instinctive, like he’s holding onto something fragile—something he’s not ready to let slip through his fingers just yet. There it is. That spark, that delicious push and pull, a challenge wrapped in temptation. The kind of game that doesn’t come with rules, only the thrill of seeing who gives in first. It’s the promise of something just out of reach, close enough to taste but not quite close enough to have, and it sends a slow, anticipatory heat curling in his chest.

"That easy, huh?" His voice is a little rougher now, a little more raw.

"Did I say it’d be easy?" You tut softly. "You’d still have to put in the effort, Ji-yong."

He exhales, rubbing his jaw. "And what exactly would that effort look like?"

You hum, like you’re truly considering it. "I don’t know. Maybe I’d make you prove you really want to catch me first."

He lets out a low laugh, something dark and amused. "And how would I do that?"

"You tell me," you purr. "How far would you be willing to go?"

His heart kicks hard against his ribs. This is dangerous. He should be wrapping this up, moving on to the next fan, doing literally anything other than entertaining the very inappropriate thoughts now creeping into his mind. But fuck—you’re making it impossible. The silence stretches for a beat, letting the tension coil between you. Then, his voice drops, deliberate and smooth.

"Far enough to make sure you never want to run again."

The air shifts. You inhale—just a little, just enough for him to hear it. For the first time in this entire call, you are the one caught off guard. He can’t help but wonder what other noises you could make for him—

"So?" He continues, his voice is a murmur now, low and smooth. "Do you like to run?"

A beat of silence. Then, soft and teasing: "Only if you can keep up."

Ji-yong exhales sharply through his nose, dragging a hand down his face. "You’re really testing me, you know that?"

"I know," you purr, not a hint of apology in your tone. "And I think you like it."

"You’ve got me sitting here, completely ignoring the fact that I have a hundred other calls to make, just because I don’t wanna hang up on you."

"You say that like it’s a bad thing," you tease.

"It is a bad thing." He huffs a quiet laugh, leaning back in his seat. "I don’t do this, you know."

"Do what?"

"Get stuck like this." His tongue darts out to wet his lips. "You’re making me break my own rules."

"How rebellious of you."

"God, you’re gonna be the death of me."

"Oh, come on," you muse, voice dipped in amusement. "You’re telling me no one else has ever done this to you before?"

"Not like this."

The confession slips out before he can stop it, unfiltered and a little too honest. There’s a pause. Another shift in the air between you. Then, softer now, more curious than teasing: "Ji-yong."

He swallows, his name rolling off your tongue like warm honey, settling into his bones. He doesn’t know what it is about the way you say it—light, unhurried, like you’ve known him forever—it makes something in his chest tighten.

"What?" His voice is quieter now, softer.

"You still haven’t answered my question," you remind him, and when he stays silent, you press further. "How far would you be willing to go?"

He exhales, a slow smirk curling at the corner of his lips. "Why don’t you stick around and find out?"

taglist: @thanosscrossmain @maskedcrawford @mirahyun @riddlerloveb0t @onyxmango @sherrayyyyy @seunghyunwifey @mattsturniolosbabymama @redhoodedtoad @bettelaboure @cinnamonbear22 @xxxicddbr88 @infinetlyforgotten @babygirlewis @loveesiren @tulentiy @petersasteria @allthoughtsmindfull

#kwon jiyong #kwon jiyong x reader #gdragon #gdragon x reader #bigbang #bigbang x reader #kpop #kpop x reader #ao3 writer #fic writer #flirting #fluff #suggestive

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lsunstreakerl · 2 days ago

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Trying a new post/tag setup for the darkbull content: explicit darkbull content. (you guys have been begging for it so here I am poking at the edges of what enters dead dove territory. nothing extreme, just testing the waters)

1.9k, Max POV. oscar/max, oscar/daniel/max/carlos, referenced charles/max

relevant heads up: dead dove do not eat (additional tags specified below the cut)

DDDNE tags: sort of petplay? continuation of the kitten conversation, implied/refrenced previous extreme dubcon/noncon, slight dacryphilia, slight somnophilia, no discussion of consent, darkbull typical heavy dubcon, max shaming.

Max wakes up because there are fingers curling inside of him, and he's drooling facedown into his pillow. He's roomed with Oscar this weekend, and he moans as thin, nimble fingers press into his prostate, a hand pinning him down to the bed as he squirms.

Oscar can get so mean about it when he's in a mood- and he hadn't qualified as high as he'd wanted last night, so he's definitely in a mood.

There's warm breath fanning across the back of Max's neck, and then Oscar's teeth scrape across his skin as he gets the metal of Max's necklaces in his mouth, tugging up sharply as he pushes Max's waist further down.

Max's eyes roll back as his spine curves, gasping.

"Oscar-"

His fingers curl into the sheets as Oscar pushes another finger into him, scissoring them wide before pulling them out, letting go of Max's necklace. His head drops back forward, lightheaded.

"You want it?"

Max pushes his hips further up in response, feels Oscar's fingers grip his hair before his head is shoved further down into the fabric, muffling any noise.

Only Oscar understands this. That Max still needs it sometimes, to balance out his brain, or else he'll be all fucked up later when he has to be around Charles.

"It's okay, I know what you need."

Max whines into the pillow as Oscar pushes into him- he'd prepped enough for Max to be able to drive, but not enough that it doesn't still sting.

"You just need to be a stupid little kitten, yeah?"

Max hates his pavlovian response, hips hitching up as his cock blurts out precome, head going fuzzy.

No one else gets it. Just Oscar, and it's why Max had wanted to room with him, needed Oscar to settle his brain.

Oscar laughs, tugging sharply at Max's hair.

Their hips bump together, and then Oscar is setting a brutal pace, coring Max out in the hotel bed. His nails are snagging in the sheets as Oscar's hand on his waist tugs his hips up, forces his back into a deeper arch.

"Gonna be good for us? Make a mess here in the hotel room? Shame Charles doesn't know how to house train, honestly."

Max isn't-

He's not-

He tries to lift his head, but Oscar's palm is broad against his skull, shoving it back down.

"Kittens don't need to talk, babe."

He whines, scrabbling at the sheets as Oscar finds his prostate, and then all he can focus on is being full, just him and Oscar.

Oscar's hips are starting to stutter, snapping in fully and grinding into Max, and then there's fingers curling around his cock, a chest pressing in along his back.

"Go ahead, be a good kitten, make a mess for me."

Max feels like he's hearing the instruction through layers of cotton, but he wails when Oscar presses his thumb into his slit, fingers squeezing as Max comes, fucking into him hard.

Max goes limp, hips held up by Oscar's hand as he keeps fucking him, before he's finally yanking Max back onto his cock, a hand in his hair hauling Max upwards.

The change in position makes Max sob, overstimulated and raw, and now he's practically sitting up in Oscar's lap, head dropped back against his shoulder as Oscar grinds up into him.

"Fuck, you're being a good boy, aren't you? So pretty for us, we take such good care of you-"

He can feel as Oscar comes inside of him, hips slowing into small circles, fingers relaxing from around his hips.

Max catches his breath, voice watery.

"Oscar, raw-"

Oscar kisses against the side of his neck, pressing a hand over Max's stomach and pushing.

"I know, I know. It's race day. But I have a plan for that, I promise. We won't let you race with cum in you, I know you hate that."

Max does hate it- it's distracting at best. He can handle being fucked and racing in the same day, he's been doing that with Carlos for ages, and then Carlos and Daniel both, so he's practically an expert.

But usually the rule is ‘no doing it raw on race day’.

He makes an unhappy noise as Oscar lowers him back down onto the bed, pulling out. There's a soft kiss pressed between his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I know. Just a few more minutes."

Oscar makes his way to the top of the bed, settling Max's head into his lap, fingers brushing through his hair.

"And when you see Charles later, he's going to see how much better we take care of you, yeah? Because you,"

He tugs at Max's necklaces, eyes dark as he looks down at him.

"Belong to us."

Max swallows, turning his face to press into Oscar's thigh, leaving a soft kiss.

He does. In his entirety, everything he is, belongs to them. The team.

He settles for a moment, tries not to think about the cum inside of him, Oscar's fingers scratching gently at his scalp.

His hotel room door beeps. Max doesn't move- it's not anything anyone with access to his rooms hasn't seen before, so he doesn't mind that he's stretched out on top of the duvet, freshly fucked.

Daniel and Carlos step in, and the door clicks shut behind them. Max shivers.

There's only so many reasons for Oscar to have invited them both over, especially when Max is like this.

Daniel grins, clapping Carlos on the shoulder.

"You qualified under Osc yesterday, so don't think too hard about it when it's his cum in your mouth, yeah?"

Carlos whacks Daniel in the shoulder, shooting Oscar a glare as he laughs above Max. His eyes soften when he looks down at him, crawling up on the bed between his legs.

Oh.

Max gets what Oscar means now, by taking care of it. He tries to squeeze his legs together- he's still sensitive- but Carlos' large hands wrap around the inside of his legs, pushing them back apart.

Max whimpers, and there's a warm hand cradling his jaw, soft lips pressing against his.

He's always easy for Daniel, mouth dropping open as he lets him take the lead, and Daniel gives him a few sweet kisses before he deepens it, turning it wet and messy.

Max gets distracted, the way he always does, and he flinches when Carlos gets his mouth on him, legs tightening.

Carlos holds him firm, and Max whines into Daniel's mouth as his tongue licks into him, because he can't come again, and they're going to make him.

Oscar's fingers are still running through his hair, nails scratching gently into his scalp. Daniel's fingers tighten around the edge of his jaw, holding him in place- it's a good call, because Max jerks underneath them when fingers curl around his soft cock, stroking gently.

He can't, not again, not so quickly.

He's gasping into Daniel's mouth, held down between the three of them, and he's starting to get hard again, borderline painful between Carlos' mouth on him, Daniel's hand around his cock, Oscar tugging at his hair.

Carlos presses two fingers inside of him, and Max's hips jerk, tears beading at his eyes again.

"Ah- I can't-"

"Yes you can, baby."

Daniel's voice is low near his ear, and Max is so overwhelmed, pressed down by the three of them, so in tune with what makes Max tick, how to get exactly what they want.

His toes curl as Carlos presses another finger in, dragging them slowly against him.

"Please-"

Oscar has one wrist pinned, Daniel has the other, and Max writhes between them as Carlos pushes his fingers up inside of him, stretching him out.

His eyes roll back into his head, cock twitching as Daniel keeps up his slow strokes, the same steady pace even as Max squirms, tipping into too much-

Oscar laughs above him, tugging lightly at his hair.

"I thought you couldn't cum again, yeah? What's all this then, begging for it?"

There's a hot flash of humiliation through Max, and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter, even as his movements get more frantic, because he doesn't want to come again, it's going to hurt.

He can't tell if he's trying to get away or trying to get more, tears slipping down his cheeks as Daniel kisses him again, never changing the pace of his hand, and Carlos is working him open.

Max thrashes when Carlos brushes up against his prostate.

"No, no I can't, I-"

Carlos rubs his fingers in small circles, and Max wails as he comes, choking on tears. It hurts so good, he's shaking as he comes down, Carlos carefully pulling his fingers out.

Daniel strokes him through it, but he takes his hand away when Max sobs again, kissing him chastely.

"Good boy, Maxy, so good for us."

Max sniffs, feels wrung out and exhausted. He's still trembling, isn't even sure he could move his limbs if he wanted.

Oscar leans down to kiss his forehead before looking down at Carlos.

"How's it taste, Sainz?"

Carlos makes a low noise, annoyed.

"Maybe we should try wringing you dry sometime- see if it gets rid of your smart mouth."

Max isn't quite following the conversation anymore, just knows he's tired and if anyone comes near his ass again he's going to pitch a fit, wrung out and sleepy again.

If he performs badly in the race, he's going to blame it on this.

------

Max comes in second, just below Charles but ahead of Lewis, and he plays his part well- smiles for the cameras, doesn't flinch when Charles wraps an arm around his waist.

It's only when they're walking back behind the cooldown room, where there's no cameras, that Charles strikes, getting an ironclad grip on Max's wrist and shoving him into an empty hallway, pinned between Charles and the wall.

Max's breathing picks up, heart thundering as Charles glares down at him, one hand coming up to curl around his throat while the other grips his wrists above his head.

"Hello, mon chaton."

Max makes a small noise, caught in his throat as Charles squeezes his hand tighter. His vision is going spotty at the edges.

"You've run very far from home, yes. Don't worry, I'll come get you soon."

Max wheezes, struggling to get air in as Charles holds his wrists tight- they're going to bruise.

"Even if you're perfectly happy getting bent over like some street slut- we'll have to fix that, won't we? I think you're too easy for it, baby. Too used to getting what you want."

What Max wants is for someone to come get him.

He's lightheaded, colors dancing in his eyes when he hears a rap of knuckles against the wall.

"Don't fucking kill him, man. We have interviews in five minutes. Keep me out of your shit, I don't want to be involved."

Max has never been grateful to Lewis before, but he drops to his knees when Charles lets go of his throat, greedily sucking in gasps of air, mentally praising him.

Fingers tangle in his hair, cool rings brushing against his scalp as Charles yanks, forcing Max's head up to meet his eyes.

"You should've stayed with me, chaton. But when you come back with your tail between your legs-"

He yanks again, dragging Max forwards as he stumbles, trying to get his feet under him.

"I will still take you back in, yes? Because I love you."

Max finally wrenches his wrists free, scrabbling at Charles’ hand to tug it out of his hair, staggering back away from Charles.

Charles lets him, simply stands with his arms crossed, watching Max disdainfully.

"You'll come back, baby. They always do."

#darkbull verse #dead dove content #ficlet #really the dead dove here lies in the implications #oscar babe ur insane

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redrose10 · 2 days ago

Text

Cat Cafe Owner Yoongi x Female Reader

Summary: With only a few dollars left to your name you weren’t sure how you were going to survive. Thankfully, Suga’s Cat Cafe came to the rescue offering you a job when you needed it most. Not only did it pay decently it also came with perks like unlimited free coffee and a cute, but grumpy cafe owner named Yoongi. At first you believed it was him that saved you at your worst, but as time went on you started to wonder…who rescued who?

Warnings: Mentions of depression, suicide, anxiety, lots of angst, injury, getting drunk, talking about consent and being taken advantage of in a sexual way, tiny bit of smut (maybe), will update more later

Word Count for Part 1: 5,712

Small change of plans because after thinking it over I’ve decided to split this into two parts. With everything going on with my parents and my job search and everything it would take me a while to be able to post the whole finished thing. So here is part 1 and I’ll be working on part 2 over the next week or two.

Hope everyone likes it! Let me know your thoughts! I may not always reply, but I do read all of them.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Nervously you fidgeted with your fingers as you stood off to the side trying to stay out of the way of the other staff members running around. Some guy at the front counter, his name tag said Namjoon, told you to enter into the small break room and the manger would be with you shortly.

Today was your first day on the job at Suga’s Cat Cafe. Your official title was Cat Enthusiast, but at the end of the day it was just a fancy way of saying customer service/cleaner of cat messes. It was by no means your dream job, but it paid decently as far as cafe jobs went and came with unlimited free coffee, both things you desperately needed as you were down to your last few dollars.

Life had been throwing nonstop punches lately. You were suddenly been let go from your dream job in the fashion industry and then a few days later you came home to find your fiancé cheating on you with one of your best friends. It left you hurt, and angry, but it was especially concerning that you were now also broke and homeless. Thankfully a different friend managed to help you find a tiny apartment, but bills were piling up and your first months rent was due soon and you were panicking. You were about to give up on life when you got the call that the job at the cafe was yours.

Finally after what felt like forever the door swung open and a man walked in. His light pink hair definitely stood out, but somehow looked almost natural on him. The cat shaped name tag pinned to his shirt read Jimin. “Sorry I’m late Y/N.”, he sighed., “Things are just crazy lately.”

You took the two tshirts and your own cat shaped name tag out of his hands along with a set of keys on a purple lanyard.

“The shirts are part of the uniform. You get two free, but we can order you more for a small cost if you’d like. Pants are your choice just make sure you look presentable and wear comfy shoes! Trust me! Since you’ll be working the closing shift you have keys to lock up the cafe. There is also a register key for emergencies. And this key opens up the supply closets. Please please please.”, he begged, “Please do not loose the keys. Yoongi will have my head if he has to have more made.”

You nodded, “Noted. Guard the keys with my life.” Jimin laughed giving you the first look at his heart warming smile.

“Come on! Get changed and then I’ll give you a quick a tour of the place.”, he said.

He left the room closing the door behind him giving you the chance to put on one of the tshirts in the bathroom and then place the rest of your belongings into one of the employee lockers.

When you exited the break room he was on the phone with someone talking about ordering a new set of mugs and something about Suga needing his fur thoroughly brushed.

“Yes I know. I will brush his fur with one hundred strokes and not one less.”, Jimin rolled his eyes, “Alright I have to go. I’m training the new girl.”

He started leading you down the hallway, “Sorry that was the owner. He’s supposed to be on vacation, but I swear he works harder when he’s not here than when he is.”

“He sounds tough to work for.”, you winced and suddenly your easy job taking care of cats wasn’t sounding so great after all.

“He’s really not.”, Jimin reassured you, “Yoongi’s just…he’s been through a lot, doesn’t really like people…prefers cats. It takes a while for him to trust others and open up to them, but once he does he is the sweetest sweetheart you’ll ever meet.“

He walked you through the long hallway opening random doors mostly leading to storage rooms or broom closets. “This is our meet and greet room.”, he said opening up the last door on the left, “If anyone is interested in adopting one of our cats and would like some alone time with them they can have a meeting with the cat back in here.”

Then he turned to the door on the right, “And this one leads up to Yoongi’s office/apartment so don’t go up there unless you absolutely need to…I mean like the place is on fire need to. Yoongi does not like others in his home.”

Then he walked you back up front to the small kitchen area. He pointed out the different cups and showed you how to work the machines, “Luckily most people are just here for the cats so they don’t really care much about the drinks.”, he chuckled, “The coffees are pretty basic. We’re not like a specialty coffee shop or anything. We have hot or iced. The coffee beans are just something Yoongi orders from Costco and we grind here. We have your basics like sugar, cream, whole milk, oat milk and we have different syrup flavors. Currently we have mocha, vanilla, caramel, and hazelnut and then we usually have a seasonal flavor like in the fall we have pumpkin spice and the winter we add peppermint to the rotation. There are also a few selections of hot tea as well as bottles of iced tea and water. All of the bakery is purchased already made from Jin’s Bakery a few blocks over.”, he exhaled, “So uh yeah it’s all pretty simple. You’ll pick it up in no time! Any questions?”

He made it seem so easy, but you were definitely feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Don’t worry Y/N. You’ll get used to it. Everyone always seems a little worried at first. We have a great team that will be ready to help any time. You’ll mostly be working with Jungkook…speaking of which.”, Jimin put his hands on his hips and sighed while looking around the room, “This kid. He’s lucky Yoongi has such a soft spot for him.” You had no idea who he was talking about until you followed his line of sight as he shook head head at a younger man walking through the door, large backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Kook! You’re late again!”, he shouted.

“Sorry sorry I’m so sorry.”, the man gasped running up to you both, “I got out of class late and then I missed the bus. I took the next one, but it broke down half way here and I had to run the rest of the way.”

“You know that expensive little box you carry around in your packet 24/7? Well you can use it to text other people besides women.”, Jimin said while side eyeing him.

“I know I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Jimin gave up after that and instead introduced you, “Y/N this is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/N. You two are going to be working the closing shifts together.”

You smiled and nodded while he did the same.

“I need to go make a few calls so Jungkook will introduce you to all of the cats and show you where their food is and how that’s all handled since it’s about dinner time anyways.”, Jimin ordered before leaving you with a wave and walking into the office.

Jungkook was really nice, quite sweet, and very handsome. You gladly followed him around smiling as he introduced you to each one of the cats and told you a little about them. It was clear he loved his job.

“This one is named Princess because she’s the prettiest princess in the city. Her favorite treats are salmon flavored and she loves getting her fur brushed, but only with the purple brush. Don’t even think about using the green one. She will revolt.

And this one, his named is Minnie. He acts tough like he hates you, but deep down he’s the fluffiest little guy there is.

And here we have Koya. He likes going on long walks and having his belly rubbed while you read to him.

Bunny is the diva of the group. She knows what she wants and doesn’t care who she has to destroy to get it.

Hope is the cuddle bug. She will take any cuddles that she can get. She definitely has no sense of stranger danger…we’re working on it.

Winter Bear is a sassy pants…that’s… that’s all I have to say about him.

RJ is a grumpy old man, but don’t tell him that. He’ll get even grumpier and then he takes it out on Bunny and then they end up not speaking to each other and it’s just a whole ordeal.

And this one is Suga. He’s the only cat that isn’t up for adoption because he’s Yoongi’s pet cat so he pretty much runs the show.”

You cooed as you bent down to pet the black cat who was purring loudly against your hand.

“Wow.”, Jungkook laughed in surprise, “I worked here for like six months before he even let me touch him and I’m pretty sure he still wants to bite my hand off. He must really like you.”

You felt a sense of warmth fill you knowing that the cat tolerated you better than anyone else already. It was kind of like getting along with your coworker in a weird way.

Dinner time was like something you had never experienced before. Yoongi was apparently extremely particular about making sure that the cats were very well taken care of which you appreciated that he cared so much and that this wasn’t just a business to him, but at the same time you also hated that you were meticulously weighing out the exact recommended portion of a horrible smelling can of seafood delight for each cat except Princess who of course had a menu of her own. Then you were adding a couple drops of this vitamin and a few sprinkles of another. By the time you were done setting all of the bowls up it felt like you had just completed a science experiment.

The rest of your shift was spent cleaning and wiping and sweeping and cleaning some more. Who knew cats could be so messy so much of the time?

You took a few orders and made a few drinks with the help of Jungkook, but it seemed like he was happier doing the customer service portion anyways which you didn’t mind. You liked dealing with cats more than people to be honest.

Over a few weeks you started getting a routine down at the cafe. You got closer with the cats and also Jungkook. The two of you even put together a little goodbye party when Koya got adopted. Jimin checked in often and made sure you were acclimating well. You also met your other coworkers, Namjoon, Hobi, and Taehyung. They were all very friendly and welcoming. You really felt like things were starting to turn around and that you were finally going in the right direction after it seemed like everything had been falling apart for so long.

Until one dreary rainy night it didn’t seem like that any more. You had closed up the cafe and were just about home when you realized you had left your phone charging on the table in the break room. Part of you considered just leaving it there and getting it the next day, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to go all night without it. You also knew that Taehyung was a man of many pranks and you needed to make sure he didn’t get your phone into his possession. So reluctantly you turned around and made the walk back to the cafe.

Since it was so late and you didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself, meaning you didn’t need a gaggle of cats screaming at you for their third dinner, you kept the light off and tiptoed as quietly as possible to the break room to retrieve your phone.

Once that mission was accomplished you quietly tiptoed back down the hallway to the front door. With your face buried in your social medias catching up on your missed notifications you weren’t aware of your surroundings until you walked headfirst into another person.

You jumped back in shock. The other person yelped in surprise since their own face was buried deep into a folder of paperwork that was now scattered everywhere as they were also unaware of your presence.

“I am so sorry.”, you apologized bending down to help clean up the papers.

“No no no just leave it please.”, he hissed at you, “Who are you and how did get in here?”, he questioned angrily as he scooped up the mess.

“Y/N, I uh I work here. I’m part of the closing shift.”

“Okay? And the cafe closed two hours ago. Why are you still here?”

You were starting to get a little scared, “I-I got home and realized I forgot my phone in the break room so I came back to get it.”

“And you didn’t think to call or text someone?”, he sneered.

“Well my uh my phone was here so I couldn’t.”, you mumbled trying to keep your cool.

“Ever heard of a pay phone?”

“It’s 2025…I don’t…I don’t even know if there are pay phones any more.”, you said. You could feel your anger rising at the rudeness of this guy when you noticed a black ball of fur rubbing against his legs, a loud purr rumbling from within Suga’s chest.

“Yoongi?”, you asked.

“Yeah….”, he replied running a hand through his already messy hair, “I’m sorry for snapping at you. Y/N was it?” You nodded and took his extended hand into a handshake.

“That was very unprofessional of me. It’s not an excuse, but I’ve just got a lot going on at the moment and you scared me quite a bit.”, he continued, “I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here this late at night.”

“It’s okay.”, you shook your head, “I shouldn’t have just entered back into the building after hours without notifying a manager or something.”

Awkwardly you stood there internally praying you were still going to be employed after this. Then you made an observation of the shirt he was wearing and decided to try and pull the conversation in your favor. “Oh you like Halsey?!”, you exclaimed, “Did you go to the concert a few months ago? I really really wanted to, but ticket prices were insane.” When you noticed he hadn’t responded and was organizing the papers in his hands instead you apologized once more and excused yourself to the front door feeling the embarrassment overwhelm you. “Have a good night Yoongi!”, you cheerily said still trying to stay on his good side. You bent down to give Suga a few pats too, “Good night to you too. Go get some sleep so you’re not a grumpy butt tomorrow.”

The rain and wind had really picked up even more than earlier which you were not excited about because you should already be home and comfy and warm in your bed. But you had no choice so you pulled up the hood of your jacket and zipped up when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. Yoongi was standing there texting away on his phone, “Let me order a ride for you, an Uber or something. It’s the least I can do after treating you like that.”

“On no it’s okay.”, you smiled, “I really don’t mind walking.”

He insisted though so you sat in the corner of the cafe patiently waiting for the driver to arrive. Yoongi had long returned back to his apartment upstairs leaving you to sit alone and ponder the nights events.

When you got to work the next day you couldn’t help but notice the way Jimin kept smiling in your direction. And it wasn’t his normal friendly sometimes flirty smile that he used with everyone. It was borderline mischievous.

“Anything…uh interesting happen last night?”, he playfully asked as you helped him fold the never ending pile of towels and blankets.

You shook your head, “Nope. Why do you ask?”

“Oh I don’t know. Just making polite conversation I suppose.”

The two of you returned to silence as you continued on with the laundry.

Unexpectedly he spoke up and said, “Listen to any new Halsey songs lately?” Your movements froze, “I mean…doesn’t everyone? Why, what did you hear?” He shrugged his shoulders before running off to handle a customer issue up front.

While Jimin seemed to know something you didn’t, nothing much changed with Yoongi. You did see him down in the cafe more often during the evenings than you had before. He would be going through some paperwork or double checking the inventory counts, nothing too out of the ordinary for someone that owned the place. He was never particularly friendly even though you tried to get him to open up a little. Unfortunately you never got much back in return.

“Hey did you catch that game last night? That last second shot was crazy.”

“Yeah it was cool.”

“You see the new Billboard Hot 100 list? I have to say that I disagree but what’s your opinion?”

“Never looked it up.”

“There’s a really good bbq place a few blocks away. Maybe we could check it out some time. You know…to cater a work lunch or something.”

“Mmhm maybe”.

It seemed like no matter how hard you tried he was just unwilling to really make any effort. Slowly you backed off, but you weren’t going to completely give up yet.

“I made brownies!”, you exclaimed setting the plate down on the table in the break room, “And I decorated them to look like cats!”

“Thanks.”, Yoongi muttered before walking out of the room without even trying them or looking up from the clipboard he was writing on.

“I don’t know why you’re trying so hard.”, Jungkook mumbled inbetween mouthfuls of a brownie, “The last thing Yoongi is interested in is a relationship. Unless you’re a cat…he won’t even notice you exist.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”, you said faking innocence.

“Come on Y/N.”, he scoffed before taking another brownie, “Everyone can see it. You get to work early all the time. You drag your feet at night trying to stay late hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Always bringing snacks and food. Trying to make conversation about things he likes even if you don’t…like sports. You like him. Some might even say you have a crush on him.”

You rolled your eyes doing your best to ignore what he was saying and not show that it was striking a nerve with you.

“Look.”, he said standing up, “I’ve worked here for a couple of years. I know Yoongi and I know how he is with people and you’re wasting your time. I’m just telling you this as your co-worker and friend so that you don’t end up getting hurt in the end.”

His words stuck with you through the rest of your shift and even for the next few ones as well. He seemed pretty serious about it and you started to wonder if maybe he was right. Maybe it was pointless and you should let it go because you had made zero progress with Yoongi.

But then one evening Yoongi came up to you gently cradling a beautiful kitten against his chest who he introduced as the newest addition to the cafe crew. Excitedly he held up the little tabby cat and proudly announced her name as Halsey. You looked on and smiled as he snuggled against her fur. That was the moment you needed to give you just a little bit of hope and increase your motivation to not give up just yet.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you experienced the first odd happening with Yoongi. It was late in the night on your day off when you received a text from him begging you to work a double shift the next day. Something about Jimin eating questionable sushi and being unable to make it to work and he asked everyone else and they’re all busy and you were his last chance. It wasn’t something you really wanted to do because there was a reason you applied for the evening shift after all because you hated mornings. But you could really use the money right now and when he sent another text begging even more you felt bad and against your better judgement you agreed.

So the following morning you arrived at the cafe at the crack of dawn. Yoongi was already entering something in on the computer. You mumbled a good morning and beelined it for the coffee machines, once again thankful for the free coffee perk.

“How do you like yours?”, you asked when he walked up beside you.

“Black.”

“Eww that’s no fun.”

“It’s coffee. What is supposed to be fun about it? I drink it for the caffeine rush.”

“Alrighty then.”, you sighed not in the mood for a discussion. Yoongi stood off the side making a disgusted face as he watched you added a few pumps of vanilla and a few hazelnut and then a couple scoops of sugar for good measure. “Do you want any coffee with your sugar?”, he questioned.

You sipped on the coffee feeling the life come back into your body instantly so you chose to ignore his comment.

Suga jumped up on the front counter to get your attention. You liked to think he was happy to see you so early.

“My sweet Suga boy. Good morning. Did you sleep okay?”, you cooed like usual scratching at the spot just behind his left ear that always got him going. The cat happily leaned into your touch.

“Wow…Jimin said that Suga seemed to really like you but I didn’t think it was to this extent. I think I might have some competition.”, Yoongi laughed.

“He’s a sweetheart. When did you adopt him?”

Suga had now move his attention back over to Yoongi. He picked him up and cradled him against himself, “Ohhh probably about four years ago. Right before I opened this cafe. He was rescued from a pretty bad situation. I had just gotten out of one myself and decided I wanted to adopt a cat for some companionship. I was eyeing him the whole time and then the woman at the shelter said that statistically black cats are less likely to get adopted and it was even lower for unfriendly ones. Suga had been at the shelter for over a year without anyone ever showing interest in him. I know what that feels like and…noone deserves that so I adopted him. It took some time and a lot of work but he’s coming around.”

“Yeah you did a good thing.”, you smiled watching Suga lazily flop onto his side so Yoongi could scratch his belly.

Later that day you were ringing up a customer when Jungkook came in with a few of his friends.

“Y/N what are you doing working so early? Not leaving the closing crew on me are you?”, he playfully asked.

“No no.”, you chuckled, “There was no one else to work so I’m doing a double to help Yoongi.”

“Man why didn’t he call me?”, he pouted, “I’m dying for some more hours.”

Your brows furrowed. Yoongi said he had called everyone and you were his last hope, “B-But he said he called everyone else?”

“Nope.”, Jungkook said double checking his recent calls and texts, “I got nothing.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw Yoongi pretending to wipe down an already sparkling clean table and he did it with a noticeable blush on his cheeks.

“Weird…maybe he accidentally called the wrong number.”, you finally replied unsure of what else to say. He shrugged it off and proceeded to order a coffee and a few for his friends too. Before he left he slid a flyer across the counter at you, “I’m performing at this bar down on campus next Saturday. If you’re not busy maybe you can come watch.”

You nodded and accepted the flyer, “Yeah I’ll definitely think about it.”

Curiously Yoongi came over to look over the flyer which gave you an idea.

“Hey want to go with me? Maybe we can grab dinner or something before and then go show our support for our Kookie.”, you asked him.

“Kookie?”, he questioned with an eyebrow raise, “I don’t know. I’m not much of a bar person and if you two are going to need the night off then someone has to be here…”

You sighed, “Yoongi…Namjoon and Taehyung can handle the evening shift for one night. They’re dying for more hours. Plus it won’t kill you to go out and have a little fun once in a while.”

“I’ll think about it.”, was all he said before walking off. And after some begging on your part to get Namjoon to agree to switch shifts for the day and a few promises that it will be fun, Yoongi finally agreed to go with you to the show. He even shocked everyone and accepted your invitation to dinner.

He arrived at your apartment at 7pm exactly. His ripped blue jeans and white button down fit perfectly and were a nice change from the usual tshirt and black pants you were used to seeing him in around the cafe. A light woody vanilla scent filled the air between you.

“Are you wearing cologne Min Yoongi?”, you smirked noticing the immediate redness run down his neck.

It took everything in you to peel your eyes away and not stare too long at him.

“Ready?!”, you cheerfully asked before leading him back down the hall and into the elevator.

You spent most of the dinner trying to get to know more about him. Asking questions about his family, his friends, where he grew up, but he didn’t really seem to want to give up much information. After the entire time all you got was that he didn’t have much contact which his parents, he had one brother who lived on the other side of the world, no friends even though he did smile a little when you mentioned Jimin, he liked basketball, music, and cats which you already knew all of that no nothing new.

Most of the dinner was you telling him about your family, your friends, your cheating ex, the dream job you lost, and your future goals. He nodded and smiled when you said something funny. He was attentive and listened to you so even though he didn’t say much you still had a good time.

When the bill came he refused to let you pay anything no matter how much you pleaded.

“If you wanted to take me on a date you could’ve just asked!”, you joked.

“I don’t date my employees.”, he mumbled unable to make eye contact with you. Even though you were joking to begin with (kind of) his response did end up hurting just a bit but you were able to recover quickly and laugh it off to get on with the rest of the night.

Jungkook’s set was great. He really had a talent for performing and when he got a standing ovation at the end you may have been the one cheering him on the loudest.

“Y/N! What did you think?”, Jungkook asked after running up to you at the bar. “You did great! I didn’t know you were so talented.”, you smiled.

“Hey, I want to introduce you to someone.”, he said pulling another guy over next to him. He was tall and muscular with a nice smile. “This is one of my good friends Mingyu. He helps me with a lot of my music and stuff. We met in a dance class a few years ago.”

You smiled politely, “Hi, nice to me you.”

After listening to Jungkook you figured out what he was doing. He was certainly trying to set you up with his friend. Even though he was definitely cute and seemed nice enough you weren’t very interested. You were more concerned about finding out where Yoongi had run off too. He had excused himself to the restroom quite a while ago and you were starting to get worried that maybe he was sick or had something else happen to him.

While you listened to Jungkook hype up his friend you also continued to scan the room looking for any sight of Yoongi. Eventually Jungkook and Mingyu realized you weren’t that interested and also excused themselves to mingle with the rest of the crowd giving you the chance to finally search for your boss/friend/crush.

You quickly found him. Leaning up against the bar finishing up what looked like his third drink judging by the empty glasses in front of him. The bartender was pouring a little more whiskey in a glass before handing it over to him once more. When you walked up next to him you could tell from the way he was swaying and his dilated pupils surrounded by wet flushed skin that he was drunk. When he opened his mouth to speak you found out that he wasn’t just buzzed but was DRUNK drunk.

“Hey ttthhhere cutie pie!”, he slurred, “I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you.”

Oh boy did the alarm bells start ringing in your head.

“Mmmhm I’m sure. I’ve been here the whole time though.”

“Iiiiiii knoooow.”, he hiccuped before booping your nose, “But I saw you and your new boyfriend. I didn’t want to interrupt the romance.” You couldn’t even respond before he kept going, “Th-that guy with Kooookkkooiiiiee. You know…Mr. Extra Small Black Tshirt. I’d have been muscles like that too if I wore clothes out of the kids section.”, he scoffed.

“Yoongi let’s get you home.”

“Why so you can go home and…what do the kids say these days?…Copulate…So you can go home and copulate with him.”

“No.”, you sighed, “And I’m pretty sure no one, especially the kids these days, use that word.”

Getting him back to his place was difficult. You were sweating and panting and already sore from practically carrying him all the way there. Once inside the safety of the cafe the two of you crashed to the ground. Your poor knees just couldn’t take it any longer. Suga came out and greeted you meowing on and on about something. You would like to think it was concern at seeing the state of his owner, but you knew he was just upset from being woken up in the early hours of the morning and was making sure you knew it.

After taking a little break and forcing Yoongi to drink a bottle of water you got up and helped him get up off the floor to then again pull him all the way to the back of the store to where the door to his apartment was.

You remembered Jimin being very clear about never going into Yoongi’s apartment and you didn’t want to break that trust so you opened the door up for him and just hoped he would make it up there okay.

“Alright, go get in bed and sleep this off. I’ll check on you in the morning.”, you said pointing in the direction he needed to go.

“Come upstairs with me.”, he pouted.

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“You’re drunk. Go drink some more water and get some sleep.”

“Y/N,”, he said taking a step closer to you, “I want you to. Please. I’ve been thinking about it all night.”

You shook your head, “I really don’t think that’s a good idea right now.“

“Why? Because I’m not tall and muscular? Because I don’t wear designer clothes? I’m not talented and perform on a stage? I bet if Jungkook or that other guy asked you would say yes. Is it because I just own a silly little cat cafe?”, he spat seeming hurt, a little angry and also confused.

“No Yoongi. None of that is true. We can talk about this tomorrow.”, you stood firm.

That’s when he did something you never expected. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you in to kiss you. Instinctively you melted into it. You let his hands roam your body. You kissed him harder when a little moan escaped him as you ran your hands through his hair ending with a little tug.

But then it all changed. You tasted the left over reminisce of whiskey on his tongue. The smell of the alcohol on him became even stronger in that moment and it brought you back to reality. He was drunk. Drunk beyond coherent consent. He made it clear earlier that he didn’t date his employees. As much as you wanted him you weren’t going to take advantage of him especially since you knew how that felt and you definitely did not want to be seen as a mistake when he woke up sober and realized what happened.

Pulling it together you pushed him away from you., “No Yoongi. We can’t do this. Not now.”

Still not having full control of his body he fell back against the wall, hard. The impact seemed to have sobered him up instantly or sobered him up enough that he realized what had just happened between the two of you.

“I…I…”, he said frantically looking around, “I’m so sorry.” He entered through his apartment door slamming and locking it behind him. You could hear him running up the stairs and slamming another door.

You were left standing there bewildered and afraid and anxious.

The only noise that broke the deafening silence was the loud purring coming from Suga as he walked over to you and lovingly rubbed himself up against your legs.

#bts #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts x reader #bts fanfic #min yoongi #yoongi fic #yoongi x y/n #yoongi angst #bts yoongi #yoongi fluff #yoongi au #yoongi #bts fic

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arlakos · 2 days ago

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That's what I already said. I'm not giving Fu any credit of any for what he did before or after as a Guardian, im just saying his action to choose random strangers rather than his next door neighbor was perhaps the only good choice he mad. Whether or not the people he chose were a good fit after all is more on them than Fu's initial decision. I mean, what was he supposed to do, give the miraculouses to actual adults and make the show boring? (oh wait...)

Also its like you didn't read the paragraph that came next

I already mentioned that Fu was caught out because he got close to Ladybug. Stop giving me flak for giving one single bit of praise to the guy. We all know that he's a shit guardian.

I blame that on the fact that Marinette managed to figure out the potion recipie when he couldn't and the fact that he's part trained tbh, so he just defers to her to not seem incompetent.

But you are missing my point. Whether or not Fu agreed with her actions, my point is that Ladybug only chooses holders based on if they are her friend or not. For all the shit Fu has done, the only good thing he did was choose strangers and keep that initial distance.

Yeah, I know that Fu is a fuck up, but honestly that's the fucking point. Fu was always going to be written to be a failure Guardian, a guy that messed up when he was young an unaware of shit and now got thrown into the mess of guardian a miracle box, but still trying what little he can to make sure that it doesn't go worse. He's always been written as such. Sure, he could TRY to take the miraculouses back (assuming he saw Volpina, and thats a big IF because its also likely that HE DIDN'T SEE IT), but at this point he'd likely just get his ass beat by Ladybug and either "repent" or gets the box taken from him, because that's what he is. A failure who always messes things up whenever he tries to make it better. The only time he really succeeded was when he stopped being the Guardian.

Meanwhile, Ladybug is written to be God's fucking gift to Paris. A girl written to always do no wrong and to alwasy be the RIGHT person. The issue here is that whenever she does something important in the show, she never makes the right call, only the ones that benefit her. Sure, she can be a good strategist when it comes to fighting an akuma, but as an actual leader she sucks at leading a team. It's why all the people on her team are suck ups: they just do whatever she tells them to. At least with Fu, there's no excuses that he's flawed, but with Ladybug they just PRETEND that she doesn't have flaws (aside from self doubt). SHE CAN DO ANYTHING AND ANYTHING SHE DOES IS RIGHT (even though most of her big actions would have already lead to her identity being exposed).

I can't hate Fu (as much) because at least they are honest he's a fuck up. I can't STAND Ladybug because they pretend she's the best choice when she clearly ISN'T.

I don't give two fucks about Fu and I didn't reblog this post initially for your opinion on Fu. I reblogged this post because I had issues with Ladybug. At least I don't have to see the man a lot, but I DO have to see Ladybug always mess it up.

Saying that Adrien has to "earn the right" to hand out Miraculous is hilarious on account of the fact that, well. Marinette didn't either actually. She didn't pass a secret test of character or something, she brought Fu a book. A book she didn't play any part in retrieving, mind you—it was Tikki who did all the literal heavy lifting while Marinette was more concerned with seething about Lila. If we were to follow this take to its logical conclusion, Tikki is the one who should be handing out Miraculous right now. Tikki 4 Guardian 2K25!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #marinette salt

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qwordavoider · 2 days ago

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WIP Wednesday

With the episode last week and the discourse surrounding it, I have been slowly working on Parting Waves. It has been a while since I posted anything for it, so here is a portion of chapter 12 titled Declaration. This conversation felt particularly relevant after the episode, enjoy!

“I talked with Bobby about going back to the 118,” Evan said as Tommy paused to study him and catch his breath.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Tommy whispers.

“Wha- Tommy why are you afraid of that?” Evan asked.

“Because, Evan. I am scared that you are settling for less than you deserve.”

Evan looks shocked and Tommy can’t really believe he just blurted that out.

“That I am settling?” Evan asks quietly.

“Yeah, that you are accepting the bare minimum amount of apology from the 118 and going straight back without anything changing in the long run,” Tommy replied.

Tommy watches the shock turn to hurt and what seems like betrayal?

“I am not settling. Don’t you think I know the 118 has more work to do? I'm not an idiot Tommy. But they are my family. Everything is falling apart Tommy. I can’t just sit by and do nothing.”

“Why not?”

“What?”

“Why can’t you just sit by and do nothing? It’s not your job to fix everything Evan,” Tommy all but yells.

“Well, who else is going to do it huh? Do you think I want to be fixing everything? It’s exhausting Tommy. I am exhausted. But these past couple of months at the 217? With Kato, and the rest of the Leo team. With you. You all have shown me what a firehouse can be. Is it wrong that I want the people I love to have that?” Evan raised his voice to match Tommy’s.

Tommy realized he had maybe taken it a step too far. He hadn’t realized when it turned from worrying about Evan to accusing him of everything he meant to express concern about. His point was proven when Evan didn’t wait for a response.

“I don’t have time for this, Tommy. I have to go to therapy with Bobby,” Evan said.

“So you can talk about some actual boundaries for your work life?” Tommy spat out, clearly not listening to the warning to himself about going too far.

Evan walked toward him with a finger at him, “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

“You can’t keep letting him mess with your career-” Tommy began, but Evan cut him off.

“No. Stop. Don’t say another word. Don’t you get it, Tommy? I love Bobby. He means so much to me. I would have been in that tunnel with him if I could’ve. In. A. Heartbeat.”

Tommy can’t help but flinch back at the way Evan punctuated each word at the end. Tommy didn’t get to say anything further. Because Evan was opening the door and ushering him out.

“You need to leave.”

parting waves tags so y'all can see this. np to post anything, but if you have something you want to share, please do! 😊 @consulting-goddess-of-deductions @sensitivescream @inawickedlittletown @walkedthroughfires @cannibalhellhound @fenrirscarsback @nochance-noway @meltedredweasels @moonydanny @thestrangestthlng @the-little-red-queen @sagahaft @tommy-loves-evan @deansmilo @fierybuck @manifestingchaoticvibes @javanicko @chococara25 @911coded @911-is-my-emergency @harmonic-intervention @teabroomsandbooks @comeon-intothemadhouse @sweaters-and-silly @magdad @n1kkii @nephilimeq @partofthelouniverse @xoxo-jnh-xoxo @angelus-bellator @sleepy-lazy-loser @sassybeautydiysports @dandelioncasey @sporadicmakerwerewolf @eliotwaughdeservesbetter @meibhin @swagmaster9k @tommysdaddykink

#bucktommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy fic #parting waves #season 3 au

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miraculouslbcnreactions · 3 days ago

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(I'm allegory anon) thank you for your response. I will say, I'm kinda confused by what the writers mean by the kwamis being "industrialized" because I'm not sure if that's the right word for it? Like Gabriel wasn't really trying to turn the kwamis into some manufactured product, right?

(Allegory post for the curious)

I'm assuming you're referring to this statement about the season five final:

In the next scene, we can see Marinette taking the miraculous that have been standardized and industrialized by Gabriel and putting them back in shape. The writers specify that this is a parable about craftsmanship vs industrial production. The miraculous will now be adapted to every person, but we can’t see what they look like just yet! In this new world, the powers are all shared, among people who they trust and know will work for the common good. They joke that the "Avengers" shot at the end with all the heroes is something they’d been dreaming of.

The general idea here is that they redesigned the miraculous for season six to better suit each character to show the difference between Marinette and Gabriel. Marinette personalizes things while Gabriel went for sterile mass production with the rings.

This is an incredibly surface level idea that doesn't really work the way they want it to because the shape a miraculous takes doesn't matter to the story. The truly unique thing about each miraculous is the power it gives and the Kwami you get to be friends with. Those things never changed and will never change no matter what form a miraculous takes. They could have all stayed rings and been fine which completely undermines the idea of this being a parable because parables are all about teaching simple moral lessons. It's hard to see how a magical accessory being a little more personalized is teaching some kind of lesson when it's just an ascetic thing.

This is extra true because, as far as I'm aware, the show hasn't made a big deal about the redesigns. From the few stills I've seen, it doesn't even sound like the designs were changed all that much from what they were pre-rings. Because of all these issues, this statement from the writers just comes across as pretentious. They're trying to claim depth for the narrative without actually putting that depth in the narrative.

For this idea to work, the Kwamis being rings would have needed to have some sort of negative repercussion. At the very least, they could have shown various akumas struggling to use the powers they'd been granted, implying that the powers had to be given to people who are uniquely suited to them. But we didn't get that. The powers feel incredibly generic and - outside of Adrien - no one has ever struggled to use the ability they've been given. We don't even see Marinette asking each member of the team what item they want which is not how personalization works.

I keep thinking of that My Little Pony episode where all the ponies cutie marks got messed up (that's the thing that tells a pony what their special talent is). The ponies had to fix their cutie marks by doing what they were actually good at to show how their talents were so integral to who they were, cutie mark or no. That's a similar concept to this and shows how this kind of thing is supposed to work. Correcting the marks was mainly done in a 3 minute long song, so here you go in case you're curious and haven't seen this before:

youtube

This is how you quickly show why each character is unique and why their seemingly surface level thing (cutie mark) matters on a deeper level. My Little Pony actually sets up and resolves this conflict in a single episode, playing off of themes established in the series, but keeping the specific conflict contained to 20 minutes. Gold star to those writers. It was very well done.

Of course, Miraculous could never do this level of depth because Marinette had to redesign sixteen miraculous which would eat up a lot of time, but they could have at least make a token effort to show her and Alya talking about it or something. Maybe the first episode of season six will do this and I'm being too harsh, but I really doubt it.

#anon ask #ml writing critical #ml writing salt

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lesbomancers · 3 days ago

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i just wrote this in a flash of deeply horny inspiration, the pacing might be off but i hope it scratches the itch for you, ehehe,,.. –🎀

she's got you in a tough spot, that much is certain.

it's embarrassing when it has to come down to this, but you can't just let another wizard go around wearing your image — think about what it would do to your reputation! for someone who shifted into your likeness to, say, act like a totally insatiable whore all willy nilly, it would just be so much work to clean up.

(you choose to ignore the already extant state of your reputation, that has nothing to do with this.)

that's why you can't let her take you down. she's a crafty one, she got the one-up on you and it's got you in a bind, now. you had to think fast, or she might cast another spell (be it verbal or somatic) and do you in for long enough to get away.

it's possible there was a better way to handle it than pinning her wrists above her head and shoving your tongue in her mouth, but who could blame you for improvising?

it's a purely defensive measure, you think to yourself as you press her into the wall. it was all you could think of, between hearing her taunting you with your own voice, tempting you with your own body, it was hardly a fair fight you think.

you'll find a more permanent solution soon enough, surely. or so you think just before her set of your teeth pinches down on your lip and you let out a moan, almost losing your grip on her. no, you can't let up or she'll get the jump on you! you have to take control here.

so you push further, your thigh pressing into her crotch, your fingers lacing with hers as you press your bodies closer. you hear her whine in your own voice and it makes you a little crazy. she squeezes your hands in hers, her nails — your nails — her nails digging into your skin, her grip just as tight as yours as you realize.

she's latched onto you just as you're latched on her. she knows you could cast a spell to take her down too, and she's just as set on keeping you locked in this hot, dizzying stalemate with her.

her tongue weaves past yours and she takes you to the floor, moans mixing, the same voice, the same sound, it drives you wild. your focus lapses and your hands go for her ass, groping in the way you know you like. she responds in kind, a pleasured cry you've made before, almost like her taking your form reconditioned her mind to your preferences.

before you can even realize that this means she knows your weaknesses, she grabs your tits roughly, grinding down against you as she fondles you just the way you know you can't resist. you moan into her mouth, and you hear your own voice growl back. neither of you are even focused on trying to keep each other from casting anymore, and it seems you both realize this at once as she pulls back, the same saliva drooling from her mouth into yours.

she keeps at it, completely overwhelming you with all the right touches, all the right bites and kisses along your neck, your collarbone. she rubs her crotch into yours relentlessly, driving you up the wall until you can't hold back, you're crying out, moaning and whining so shamelessly as you thrust up against her.

and then... you come to.

you're alone, on the floor, bound in magical ropes, a vibrating gem between your legs giving you a continuous maddening pleasure. you see beside you a note, signed with a kiss mark and what you can only assume is her true brand (not that she'll be using it when she has yours). it reads:

"hate to dine and dash! let's rematch sometime, after i've made a mess of things for you~"

your loins burn hot with the knowledge that you definitely have a new rival.

been given permission to post this so here you all go. SO good. i love gay sex

#long post

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lilgarbitch · 1 day ago

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Running in Circles - Eight

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: Depression, FP (favorite person) thoughts, past addiction, mentions of losing a loved one (I think that’s all but please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 10.3k

Author’s Note: I had most of his written and ready to go before I took a break from posting. I went back and forth for a long time, debating if I wanted to keep her backstory like this, but I want a complex MC. I want to bring awareness to topics like these and I want people to see inside the mind of those who struggle with things like this. (Also very sorry I keep changing the names of characters. Y/N’s ex is now Chris, because I hated the name Ronnie.) (Also I’m working on editing the pictures and shit for the past chapters so sorry that things look different)

Tags: @theanarchymuse95 @dontwantthemoney @chey-h @badomensgoodomens @bloody-spades @blade-dressed-in-red @xmads-omensx @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @thatchickwiththecamera @tosoundlessdarkistare @lacy1986 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @death-ofpeace-ofmind @heyyoplayer

Part Seven

Y/N

“Guys, stop, you’re gonna break it!” I laughed out, yelling at Cal and Damien, who were messing around with the control board in the studio.

The boys ended up coming over to Dave’s house, and after about twenty minutes of them freaking out about meeting Dave and all of Lorna Shore, followed by walking through the house in complete awe, they became quickly acquainted… a little too quickly.

The group’s personalities were a little too alike, and now I was back to babysitting multiple grown men. I had to ask Dave to follow my idiots to make sure they didn’t break anything of his, but he just laughed me off, even though I was completely serious.

Now, my boys, Dave, Will, Moke, and I were all hanging out in the studio as the rest of the guys did who knows what. I’m afraid I’m ever going to leave this room. My boys got a little too excited seeing how professional everything was, and Dave, enthusiastic at the thought of showing more people his things, told them to have fun. Which wasn’t the best idea, seeing that they were now touching absolutely anything they could get their hands on, and I could feel my blood pressure rising.

Will and I just sat back and watched as Cal, Finn, and Damien treated the room like a zoo, and Dave and Moke explained what everything did. I couldn’t have been more stressed out, knowing how they treat their own instruments, but Will did his best to keep me calm, saying that if they did do something they weren’t supposed to, Dave would let them know. And I was realizing just how little our band knew about things like this. When we produced our music, we ran shitty software on Cal’s PC after recording in a “studio” at the local music shop, thanks to Damien knowing a guy who worked there and was willing to hook us up. While we were technically under a label with our “manager” coming from them, it wasn’t a big one that helped us with any production or promotion. We did that all ourselves. And it was also now hitting me that the only reason why we were even able to join such a large tour was because Noah probably begged his band and management to set it up.

“Y/N, why don’t you check more things out? I’ve only seen you in the booth,” Moke shouted towards me in the midst of the chaos, pulling me out of my overwhelming thoughts, “Do you play any instruments? Or only vocals?”

“Oh, she plays a mean guitar,” Damien answered for me, making me shake my head.

“I do not. I’m so bad at it, which is why I only sing on stage. But I used to play the piano,” I answered. Dave walked past me to his wall of guitars.

“Well, I don’t have a piano…yet. But why don’t you show us what you can play?” He said as he grabbed a guitar off the shelf and walked it over to me. I eyed the guitar, then him, then at the rest of the guys staring at me.

“Why am I the one who’s always put on the spot?” I semi-joked as I took the guitar from him, staring at him apprehensively.

I stared down at the guitar in my hands. I didn’t want the boys knowing that I actually really enjoyed guitars, knowing how the whole vocals thing went earlier in the tour, but I couldn’t help but admire the Taylor 814ce. One that was handed to me like it wasn’t a dream to touch, let alone play.

I was never confident in my guitar playing, especially around Finn and Calum, who could pick up any song you throw at them and perfect it in a week, and how they always helped me if I needed someone to play a few chords to help me with getting a song worked out in my head, so I never really felt like I was one to admire such a beauty if I wasn’t the most informed in the group. But this was a beauty.

After a few moments of taking in the amazing condition Dave kept his instruments in, I finally turned back to the boys.

“So uh…what do I play?” I ask sheepishly. I don’t even know if I remember any of the songs I learned all those years ago, and being put on the spot really wasn’t helping me think.

“What’s that one song you always used to play in highschool? I remember when I showed you my first Fender, you started playing that one song…uhhh ‘You’re only six feet tall’ or something like that?” Finn suggested, making me chuckle.

“That’s an easy song, definitely not one I’d choose to show off my talent if I had any,” I reply with a smirk.

“Still, I haven’t heard you play or even sing that song in too long. Give it a go. Please?” I looked at him for a moment before rolling my eyes and getting the guitar in position.

It had been years since I played ‘On the Brightside’, but it’s just repeating chords, so stare down at the strings and try to wrack my brain of which chords those were.

I begin strumming what I thought might be them, but it still sounded off. My hand instantly went to the pegs, before pausing and looking up at Dave, silently asking permission to butcher the tuning of his gorgeous guitar for a single song, but he surprisingly nodded.

As I start tuning the E string, finally hearing some familiarity in an E flat, it all starts coming back to me. I eventually tune every string to a flat, and start strumming a few chords, making sure that I actually remember them correctly. Once I got the hang of it, I began.

I met a man of two feet tall

This man was quite ambitious

In a world that is so vicious to us all

I said, “Hi,” as he replied

He said, “Listen to these words that I have lived by my whole life”

”You’re only as tall as your heart will let you be

And you’re only as small as the world will make you seem

When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall

Just look on the brightside, you’re roughly six feet tall”

I couldn’t hit Christofer Drew’s high notes, but I continue strumming and bringing this song back into my heart. Not that I normally can forget songs, but this one will forever be ingrained into my brain. I’ve lived by these words since the day I first heard this song, and it was one of the first ones I ever tried learning on guitar when I was young. It has been quite some time since I’ve played it, but now that I'm doing it again, it’s going to be a while before I forget it.

I am a man of six feet tall

Just looking for some answers

In a world that answers none of them at all

I’ll say, “Hi,’ but not reply

To the letters that you write

Because I’ve found some piece of mind

Cause I’m only as tall as my heart will let me be

And I’m only as small as the world will make me seem

And when the going gets rough and I feel like I may fall

I’ll look on the brightside, I’m roughly six feet tall

I softly hold out the last note and let the chord ring out for a few moments before pressing my hand down and stopping it, looking up at everyone. Moke, Dave and Damien clap with an impressed look on their faces, Damien’s being a little smug, as Finn and Cal give me a pleased smile, seemingly happy to hear me play again.

“Damn, dude, is there anything you can’t do?” Will asked with a laugh beside me, making me chuckle.

“It’s a seven chord song. Damien could probably learn it,” I tease, causing an offended “Hey!” from Damien. Will pats my shoulder with a smile.

“I’m serious. While you’d definitely need lessons to do anything near Adam, Andrew or Finn’s level, I’m convinced there’s nothing you can’t easily learn.”

“Oh, there’s a lot I can’t learn,” I said with an eye roll. One thing being how to stop messing shit up in my life, but I don’t say that out loud.

The boys go back to chatting together, occasionally mentioning how we should find a studio as nice as this to practice in New York, but I stay out of the conversation. I do my best to retune Dave’s guitar before sliding it back on its stand, not wanting to feel like I messed with it too much.

As I make my way back to my seat, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I slip it out and unlock it as I sit back down.

Matty- Hey, sorry I missed your texts. The guys and I have been spending time with Noah. I don’t want to get into it too much over text, but he seems to be regretting that party. A lot.

Matty- Sucks I couldn’t have met Will and hung out with everyone, but since we’re home and have some sense of normalcy back after about a month, we were hoping that might help him out a little bit.

I stare at Matt’s texts for a few moments, trying to understand. He regrets it? I’m assuming he means sleeping with that girl, since I haven’t heard about him doing anything else stupid, but is he really regretting it that badly?

Yeah, it upset me and threw me back into a bit of a rut, but those are easily triggered when my feelings get hurt. And I already knew that trying anything with Noah would put my feelings on the line, especially going so many years thinking of him rather than getting out there and moving on from him or my ex.

I sigh and think for a moment. I don’t know if Noah found out anything about Will and me yet, but I don’t want him regretting doing something we both did. Not that I can truly justify our actions, seeing as we both made bad decisions, but it’s not like it ruined everything between us, especially since this sounds like he regrets it because he wants to work on us, not because he had a one night stand. Hopefully.

But if he regrets it, that might mean he hasn’t heard anything yet about Will and me. Will that crush him? I keep ruminating in the thoughts until I’m pulled out by a hand touching my shoulder. I glance over and see Will, looking at me a little concerned.

“Everything alright?” he asks with a quiet voice, not wanting to bring attention to me just in case. I do my best to give him a small smile and nod.

“Yeah, there’s just something I have to do,” I reply softly, patting his hand before standing up.

I make my way out into the hallway outside the studio, trying not to look upset so no one questions me, and pull up my contacts on my phone.

I type in his name and click on it, bringing it up to my ear as it starts ringing. I glance around the hallway, not really wanting anyone getting any juicy gossip from the call and spreading anything, especially since Will’s whole band doesn’t fully understand what’s happening between the two of us.

After it seemed like he wasn’t going to pick up, I finally hear Ruffilo’s voice on the other line.

“Hello?” He answers, seemingly confused on why I called.

“Hey”

“Hey..uh…Is everything good?” It sounded like he almost said my name, probably refraining if he was around Noah.

“Yeah. Well..kinda. Matt told me why he was busy today and I just… I have a few questions and you’re the one who will have the most answers.”

“Hold on,” I hear shuffling on the other line, probably him getting further from the guys so they don’t hear him talking about Noah, “Alright. What’s up?”

“I really don’t know how to ease into it, but does Noah know about Will and me?”

“I mean, pretty sure he has assumptions. No one’s been confirming or denying anything, worried it’ll upset him more,” he answers with a sigh.

“Okay. I just didn’t want it to hurt him more if the information surprised him later. Another thing. I obviously don’t exactly know why he’s regretting the party, and I’m not sure how to get this information to him, but could he know that I’m not upset?”

“You’re not?”

“I mean, I really have no right to be. We both made bad decisions in the last week. Hell, we both made bad decisions since that night in the bar, but I don’t want it hurting him. What happened between us from the beginning was a little insane, and truthfully, I don’t think there’s a right way for either of us to have dealt with it, so I want him to know that I’m not upset with the decision he made. I do think it was dumb, mainly because it seemed like it was out of self destruction, but so was mine, so it’d be pretty hypocritical.”

I hear him sigh on the other end, making me bite my lip as more stress seemed to fill me.

“Listen, I’m really sorry to be putting you in the middle of this. I would tell Matt, but I don’t exactly know Noah’s feelings about him right now. And I know, that out of any of the boys, you have his best interests in mind, so-“

”Y/N, it’s okay,” he says, cutting me off on my tangent, “I’m just thinking of the best way to bring it up. But I’ll tell him. Not only do I want to see him back to his old self, I really want you two to make up. Especially with how happy he was when he knew we’d be touring together. So don’t worry, I’ll do my job and hopefully we can finally hang out as a group again soon.”

”Thank you, Nick. I really hope him and I can clear the air soon and be able to be around each other again without any tension. I miss hanging out with you four.”

”And we miss you. Alright, I’ll go sit him down and talk to him and let you know how it goes. But I gotta get out there soon before they come looking for me.”

”Bye, Nick.” I say with a small laugh.

“Bye, Y/N” And then the line goes dead.

I let out a sigh and stare up at the ceiling, praying to whoever the hell is listening that I can fix all of this the best I can.

Noah

I walk around the corner into the kitchen, needing to get a drink, when I hear Ruffilo’s voice. I don’t hear another, so he must be on the phone. I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but as I made my way to the fridge, he was in perfect distance for my snooping ears.

“We miss you...and talk to him...Bye, Y/N” I manage to pick up, with my ears instantly catching her name at the end.

Why was he talking to Y/N in secret? Miss her? Talk to who? Me? I stood there with a confused look on my face until he came back through the hall, stopping once he saw me. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, seemingly not knowing what to say.

“Was that Y/N?” I ask, trying to keep any tension out of my tone.

”Uh.. yeah.” He finally said. I stood there, staring at him, waiting for him to continue. It was obvious that I had questions, so I assumed he’d try to explain, but instead looks at me like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t.

”Okay…” I start off, “And I guess I wasn’t supposed to hear that then?”

“What? Oh. Yeah, no, she uh… she called me. She told me to tell you that she isn’t mad at you,” he spits out at the end. I look at him even more confused.

“Dude, what? Mad about what? Because if she wasn’t mad about everything happening the first week of tour, she would’ve talked to me by now…right?” I ask. He sighs and walks closer, coming and leaning on the island of the kitchen with a weird look on his face.

”She kind of spilled it on me, and I was hoping I’d have a little more time to think of a less awkward way to tell you, but that was her telling me to tell you that she isn’t mad about Halloween. I’m assuming that also means she isn’t upset about the whole fight you had either.”

His words play in my head as I take them in, trying to make sense with the situation. And then they actually set in.

“Fuck! She knew about Halloween?!” I start pacing. “No fucking wonder she went radio silent with everyone and then pops out with Will two fucking days later.”

”Oh, so you do know about her and Will?” He asks. I nod, because of fucking course I knew about them. Even with her apology-cover-video, it was obvious that her and Will were a thing now.

“Apparently she heard that you weren’t taking everything well, and since she didn’t exactly think she could just call you, she wanted me to tell you that she wasn’t upset. She specifically said about Halloween, but she also mentioned wanting to work on the tension between you two, so I’m taking that as her not upset about the argument either,” he adds.

I mirror him, leaning onto the island as I process everything. So she wasn’t upset anymore? Is it just because she already moved on and figured there's no reason for bad blood anymore?

“She’s with Will now, isn’t she?” I ask, trying to understand the situation we were in.

“I mean, yeah, Calum, Finn, and Damien headed over to hang with the whole band earlier today, so I’m pretty sure,” he answered. I just nodded.

Things were finally starting to click. She was having a lot more fun with Will, so it was obvious if she wanted to try to make things work with him instead. And she still wants to be friends, which I’m willing to work with. It’s going to suck, but that’s the headspace I was in before her and I finally talked. As long as it means she’s in my life, I can work with this.

“Okay,” I finally say.

“Okay?” Ruffilo asks.

“That’s good to hear. I don’t want her mad at me. I’ve been wanting to apologize, so I’m glad it seems like she’s finally wanting to talk to me again.” He gives me a slightly confused look before relaxing and nodding.

”Yeah. I’m not sure if we’ll see her anytime before we get to our next show, but I’m glad tour will run a little smoother now that you two can work on making up.” I do my best to give him a small smile and nod, already thinking of the next time I get to talk to her again.

Y/N

After saying goodbye to everyone, the boys and I made our way to the rental van Damien borrowed from Nick, Will included. Listen, making a new friend, especially one you can only hang out with for the next day and a half, means you’re going to want to spend as much time with him as possible. So the boys are going to drop the two of us off at my hotel, since I’ve been spending way too much money on a room I feel like I’ve barely used, and I’m going to use this last day as my actual day of relaxation since my plans went to shit the second the Halloween party happened.

We all pack into the minivan, the boys still riding the high of hanging out with another large band and learning so many new things from them and Dave, and we take off.

“We really need to talk more about what’s coming next with our band,” Cal randomly threw in, “With Y/N finally accepting to do heavier vocals, I really think we could transform our sound in other ways.”

”What do you mean?” I ask. He turns around in the passenger seat to face the rest of us with that look on his face. The one that tells you that he’s been thinking about something way too much and is destined to make it happen.

”What if…I start playing guitar?” He finally says. We all stare at him for a few moments, both confused and intrigued.

“Play…guitar. And then what will I do?” Asks Finn.

“You’ll also play guitar.”

”Wait! Are you saying you’re gonna learn rhythm guitar?” Will cuts in, making Cal nod excitedly.

“I can play bass and guitar, and have been missing guitar, so why not practically combine the two?”

“But do you know how hard it is to find a bassist? Especially one that’s not already in a band?” Damien says, making Cal face him.

”Well, we obviously have time, seeing as we still have a few months left of tour and will barely have time to work on new music…but we do already know another bassist.” Cal pretty much sings the last part, like he sees himself as a genius for this plan.

”What? Who?” I ask. He gives me a smirk.

“I mean, we did just meet him, and I haven’t heard him play, but the way he was talking about it makes me feel like it’s worth a shot.”

”Who- Wait! Austin?” I ask, earning another excited nod from Cal, who was practically leaning over the center console at this point.

“I know it’s crazy, but he was so cool and the second we got to talking about music and playing bass, the ideas just started forming, so I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. And then after today and talking to Moke about it, I think it’s a really good idea. At least for us to think about and maybe talk to him about once we get an idea of what we should do with our sound.”

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Will and I have been throwing ideas around as a joke, but if you guys are down with it, I say let's get our ideas brewing.” I reply. Finn and Damien nod, seemingly running ideas through their own heads already, until Finn whips his head towards me.

“Speaking of, what the fuck is going on with you two?” He asks, holding two fingers out to point at Will and me. I stare at him, a little stunned, before turning to Will on the other side of me, who has a sheepish look on his face. I turn back to Finn and awkwardly shrug.

“I mean, a lot and nothing at the same time.” I say.

“And what the fuck does that mean?” Damien says with a laugh. I let out a sigh and lean against the back of the seat.

“So I know I haven’t really told you two what’s been happening, other than that Noah and I haven’t exactly been on good terms lately, but a lot has been happening. And then at his birthday party, I found out that he slept with someone else.” Damien whips his head around to look at me, shocked, before quickly turning back to the road.

”He what?!” He practically yells. I nod before continuing.

“I was upset at first, like really upset, and that led me to wanting to…make some bad decisions.” Cal looks at me with a sad look, already knowing how bad I can get sometimes.

“Hun, you know you can talk to us. I was wondering where you went when you disappeared from the party and then practically went MIA for a whole day.” Finn said, giving me an equally pitying look.

“It’s okay now. Matt was nice enough to drive me back to the hotel, and after rotting in bed for a night, I ended up just buying a fuck ton of new clothes and going out to the club. So no bad decisions yet, but I was planning on it. I don’t know if I was looking to get back at Noah that night, or if I just wanted to get my mind off everything, but either way…I ended up taking someone back to my hotel room…” I continue, trailing off at the end. Cal instantly cranes his neck around the back of his seat to stare at Will, who just gave him an awkward smile.

“I was indeed Mr. Rebound that night,” Will bashfully added. I nodded before continuing.

“We both agreed that it was a one time thing and that it wasn’t going to be awkward, which I’m really glad about, because the last two days have been really fun just hanging out as friends.”

”Okay, but what about the rumors online? There’s a pic of you two walking down town, and then another that Austin posted of you two being quite snugly together.” Finn asked.

”That’s the thing. With everything going on with Noah, the last thing we need is the fans shoving their noses into all of it. So Will and I figured to just let those rumors run while Noah and I work everything out. I’m hoping I can get that information to Noah soon, not wanting to deal with any more miscommunication, but we still haven’t talked since that night in the bar.”

”And how do you plan on dealing with that?” Damien asks in an almost condescending tone, making me sigh.

“I talked to Ruffilo today and told him to pass along that I wasn’t upset anymore and that I wanted to try working on everything between us, so I just have to wait for Noah to be up for it and willing to chat, I guess.” I answer, just as we pull up to my hotel.

“I really want to hound you for more info right now, but I guess I’ll wait until we’re stuck on a tour bus together,” Finn says with a sigh. He leans over and gives me a hug as Will gets out of the car.

“Love you. I’ll catch a ride to the house the morning of so we can head to the bus together, alright?” I say as I pull away from Finn and turn to Cal and Damien. They give me a smile, nod, and I make my way out of the car, meeting up with Will.

We both wave to the boys as they drive away, then make our way up to my hotel room. Once inside, I quickly move to my suitcase and grab clothes, heading for the shower.

“I’ve worn these clothes for way too long and my hair feels like I could fry bacon on it. Make yourself comfy,” I tell Will, earning a laugh, before shutting the door behind me.

After turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat up, I stare at myself in the mirror. I look both rejuvenated and like I’ve been run over by a truck. I pull my hair out of the hair tie I put it in earlier today and brush out all the knots before finally stepping into the shower. Almost instantly, I feel the muscles in my shoulders loosen. I’ve been holding onto so much emotion lately, and while the war isn’t over yet, I have hope of the sun shining again.

I spend a little too long in the shower, letting my thoughts ruminate on my plan and everything that has happened lately as I slowly clean off almost 3 days worth of sweat, dirt, and bad decisions. Finally leaving the relaxing water, I dry off, get dressed, and join Will. I see that he’s just playing on his phone, so I round the bed and fall face first onto it next to him. I feel a hand on my back as I bury my face into the mattress, letting out a deep sigh.

“You alright?” he asks, lazily rubbing his hand against my shoulder. I do my best to nod with my face smushed, before turning my head and trying again.

“I just wish I didn’t have to deal with all of this on top of dealing with my first big tour. I won’t be surprised if I start going grey before I even make it back home,” I mumble, the exhaustion evident in my voice.

“I know. And it sucks that you didn’t get to do much relaxing on your break, but you have tonight and tomorrow, and if you need me to get out of your hair, I will,” he said in a soft voice, “Also I don’t think you’ve mentioned where you’re from. I heard someone talk about the east coast, but that’s about it.”

”You’re fine. I’ll lock myself in the bathroom if you get annoying,” I softly chuckle, “ And I grew up in Louisiana, but the boys and I are currently staying in New York. Kinda between NYC and Staten Island.”

As I say that, his hands stops rubbing my shoulder, making me look up, catching a shocked look on his face.

“Dude, you live an hour away from me,” he finally says, making me cock my head, stunned.

“You’re joking.” I laugh out as I sit up to face him.

“Dude, we’re hanging out all the time when your tour ends. Bro…” He starts to sit up, getting excited, “I have so much shit to show you down by where I live. And you’re showing me shit, too. This is great. I was so worried about when we’d get to hang out again.”

I laugh at his excitement, feeling the same. We didn’t have many friends up where we lived. Yeah, we made friends with a few other local bands, but never had the time to actually get close to them outside of occasionally playing together, so knowing Will was about an hours drive was amazing to know. The two of us talk, making plans of different things we want to show each other when I’m back home, until we finally both get tired and eventually crash.

Y/N

The tour bus shakes as we drive over what I assume was a pot-hole, causing my pen to scratch as I try to write. I let out a small curse, not in the mood to be dealing with any more inconveniences.

Music blasted through my headphones as I wrote down more and more shitty lyrics. I gave up on journaling, just turning every thought I had into ideas for new music. I’ll eventually work all of this out with someone to make it actually make sense.

After a day of bumming out with Will, him needing to leave the night before we hit the road again, and then a simple yet awkward encounter with Noah and the boys, we were finally all back on our buses and continuing the tour. Nothing really happened when I stopped by the boy’s place to meet up with my band, Finn and Damien taking up most of my time making sure we had absolutely everything perfect before leaving. I exchanged a few greetings with the other group, finally speaking to Matt for the first time since the party, and Noah and I just gave each other a small smile before we were hauling our belongings and taking off.

The tension seemed to ease, but it wasn’t gone. It’s still a work in progress. The first few shows after we got back were a little awkward still, but we were able to be in the same room together and not have the tension between us fill the room. But it also didn’t help that I just haven’t been in the best mood since getting back into it.

I wish I could easily explain why the second I stepped onto the bus and we all got settled, my mood shifted again, but I’m doing the best I can to use it to my advantage and not have the other boys worry about me. I thought the break and last day of relaxation would help me, but I think it may have made things worse. I think after the days of chatting with Will, then finally meeting him, him turning into an intense healing experience, that leaving him was a little harder than I expected. I knew he became a feeling of safety while I was with him, but I wasn’t expecting to attach to him that badly.

I may have become addicted to his presence while I had it. The comfort it gave me. How easily he helped me work through everything I’ve been dealing with, and then easily distract me from it all right after. I truly hadn’t had someone in my life like him in…probably forever.

I’ve had this reaction to two people in my life so far. First was Finn, back when he was my only friend. I followed him around like a puppy and every time he was busy and couldn’t spend time with me, I just felt lost. Like my entire existence started orbiting his. When he introduced me to Damien and Cal, and I started feeling closer to them as well, the connection dispersed between them all, dwindling the dependance I had on Finn. So once I saw all of the boys equally, all as brothers instead of one being my favorite, I lost the intense obsession with our friendship and was able to actually enjoy the time with and away from them all.

The second was my ex. He even reciprocated the obsession. It was the most unhealthy thing I’ve ever experienced. I did everything to please him, and he’d never let me go. He got me hooked on things I can’t even think about, purely because I wanted him to appreciate me and he wanted us to connect more, even if it was through addiction.

I didn’t see the boys for months at one point, just spending every second by Chris’ side, either strung out, playing music, or fucking. It took so long for me to realize that I wasn’t actually happy living like that. And the realization only came after I found out he decided to ‘move on’ while on tour. He still gave me the same sweet talk every time I called, but was actually fucking every fan girl he had.

I finally managed to break through the obsession, with my boys’ help. I left and got clean. I ignored every message Chris sent. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. And life was going fine…until I got the news. He died while on tour. I was even more of a wreck for the months following that than I was when I was with him, but with enough support and distraction from my boys, I did it.

Over the course of about a year, I found healthy coping mechanisms, mainly music, and persevered. I got better. I used my emotions about it all for our music, yet did my best not to dwell on it all, and things worked out. Our band flourished. Even with the whole Noah situation, I knew how to handle obsessive thoughts and I thought I was learning how to be better.

Things were good. I was good. I was happy. To not rely on another person for my own comfort felt amazing. But now the feeling was back. And it was attached to a person I couldn’t stay close to. Will went back to New Jersey and I had to hit the road. I was doing my best not to seclude myself, but I didn’t want to keep ruining everyone’s mood all tour, so I’ve just been hiding in my bunk or the back of the bus, mainly using the excuse that I was working on songs so they’d leave me alone.

It wasn’t a romantic obsession. It barely felt platonic at this point. My brain just felt like it needed him now. I needed to know that he was there for me. That he was doing good, just so that I could be doing okay, too. But with all of these feelings came with me pushing him away. Between hoping that staying away from him would ease this feeling, and the weird pain in my chest that I’d get every time he was too busy to talk, I just began ignoring every message and call. I couldn’t feel the pain of being ignored or alone if I ignored him.

The boys have definitely noticed that something was off, but with everything happening, they most likely figured it was just the stress of everything happening, so they’ve been helping with what they could. Every time we got to a venue, they’d let me seclude myself on the bus until it was time for sound check. While the other guys did their soundcheck or did their set, they’d let me wander off, assuming I just needed more space. But I think they were getting a little concerned with the fact that I’ve been a little more distant with the crowd. I don’t mean to. I felt absolutely terrible, but my mind was a fucking mess between planning out how to get the whole Noah situation fixed and feeling like my safety blanket was left behind.

I just slowly became numb on stage. Finn had to start asking the crowd for the ‘Fan’s Choice’ song after I completely forgot about it one night. I faked a laugh and did my best to play it off, but I knew my boys were starting to see right through me, so they took that resposibility from me and started doing it for me.

After our sets, I’d do my best to thank the crowd with a smile and walk off, but the second I was off stage, I was instantly walking away from everything. I’d either hide in the bathroom or my bunk. A few shows, I’d just go for a walk if we were in a nice area and only come back when I knew we were packing up to head onto the next show. I heard one of the boys give the group another excuse every time, but I could tell that even they were starting to catch on, too. At first, I was getting a ‘hope you feel better’ text from Nick, Matt stopping by before we hit the road to give me a few extra waters and snacks, and even had Jolly ask if I wanted to join him while running to the store, assuming I just needed a break from everyone and everything. But when I got a few texts from Ruffilo, I knew at least he had caught on.

It hit me like a ton of bricks once I got the courage to read it. I haven’t replied yet, not knowing my answer, but I’ve been debating it. I know he’s a good person and an amazing friend, seeing how sane he keeps his friends, especially Noah, but I would feel terrible adding my problems onto his plate. But I also keep telling myself that he wouldn’t reach out unless he was completely serious.

Speaking of Noah, nothing has really happened. He’s acting differently, but still keeping his distance. Maybe because he can sense that I may need it, but it seems like he needs it, too. I have no way of knowing what’s going on inside his head, but I’ve been regretting that cover I did. Even though I told Ruffilo to let him know I didn’t have any hard feelings about us anymore, I definitely added more confusing feelings to everything we’ve been dealing with. I haven’t gotten a reaction or response or anything from him about it, but I know the boys showed him.

I want to reach out. So badly. But I can’t. I haven’t said more than a handful of words to my own bandmates lately, ao speaking to him is currently off the table.

Life has just been a mess. I can’t speak to anyone. I’m ignoring the one person who could help me, purely because I’m convinced it’s going to make it worse since I can’t handle these obsessive feelings again. Finn almost yelled at me for smoking yesterday, but once he saw the look in my eyes, he just pretended like he didn’t even see me. I know my boys want to reach out to help, but I feel like they know that it won’t go anywhere. They haven’t seen me like this yet, but they can pick up on how I’ve acted before and can see that there may be no pulling me out of this funk. I’m just going to have to do it myself.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about falling back into worse things, but I couldn’t do that to the boys. To the person they love and to the career we finally got moving forward. Or the other group. They chose us for a reason. I couldn’t have them thinking they made a mistake. I couldn’t have them getting any heat because they’re now associated with a band whose frontman was strung out on stage. And I couldn’t do that to Noah. He’s dealing with enough. I know that even if I become the worst version of myself, it’ll never push him away, it’ll only drown him.

So I’m going to stick to secluding myself, blasting music, occasionally smoking a much needed cigarette, and writing more songs. More than anything did I want to call Will and ask for help, never writing songs like this before. And I couldn’t show these to my boys just yet, not wanting them to see these emotions and having to deal with the absolute trainwreck on paper they were at the moment, so I was stuck trying to work it out myself.

I feel the tour bus pull off to a rest stop again, probably the 7th time today. Damien was complaining all night about his stomach after eating out with the guys last night, and you can’t exactly use the toilets on the buses, so he had to repeatedly ask the driver to stop when we could. It only bothered me because we were constantly going between the lulling rumble that I’ve finally gotten used to again, to the idling shake as we waited. And I desperately wanted to step off and stretch my legs, maybe buy a snack or something, but I really didn’t want to leave my bunk and be seen by the others.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the curtain of my bunk opening slightly, with Finn’s head peeking through to check on me. I took a headphone out and gave him a fake half smile. Seeing that I was awake and willing to give him my attention, he pulled the curtain back more and gave me a pitiful smile, before handing me a tea and candy bar.

”I figured you’d want something sweet since Damien always hides the good snacks,” he said, sounding a little timid.

I eyed the snacks in his hand for a moment, before reaching out and taking him. I gave him a small ‘thanks’ and he looked a little too excited to hear me speak to him.

I was waiting for him to leave just like every other time he not so subtly checked on me, but he just stood there, internally debating something.

“Can we please talk?” he finally asked. I looked at him, about to tell him that everything was fine and not to worry, but something in me wanted to finally give in.

“Only to you..” I spoke softly. He instantly nodded and looked around the bus, before beckoning me to follow him.

I paused my music and slid out of my bunk, finally stretching my legs a bit, before following him to the back of the bus. There was a curtain you could pull to close it off from the rest of the bus, so once we entered, he closed it so we could have a little privacy. Once we both sat down, he began speaking.

“Okay, I don’t want to push you, so only answer what you feel comfortable with, okay?” I nodded and he let out a deep sigh.

“My love. I am so unbelievably worried about you. We all are. Even the other guys. I know that you have these moments and that life is kind of a mess right now, but I just need something from you. I need to know that you’re still here. That you’re still you. Please.”

”I..I’m sorry..” was all I could get out. He gave me a sad look.

“Please don’t apologize for this. I just need you to know that you don’t have to deal with this alone. We’ve been here for you before, so I don’t know why we can’t help you now.”

”I’m just dealing with things I haven’t dealt with in a long time. Things I never really mentioned to anyone before. So it’s weird talking about them now.” He reached his hand out and held mine, rubbing his thumb over the back to try and soothe me.

“You know we’d never judge you. Yes, we tease you, but never about your problems. And you have new people in your life now who love you almost as much as we do, and you’re not talking to them either. Will has been blowing up my phone, asking for any updates I can give, because he’s terrified, thinking of all the reasons why you’re not talking to him.”

My head dropped at the mention of his name. Fuck, I am hurting him. He doesn’t deserve this.

“I…I can’t”

”Can’t what?” He asked.

“Talk to him…” He gave me a confused look.

”You looked so happy spending time with him. You were so upset knowing you couldn’t see him until we get back home. What could have possibly happened in that time?”

I just sat there, staring at my hands, debating if I share one of the most embarrassing things about myself. I could barely look him in the eye when I had to ask for help when dealing with Chris. It took me forever to tell him everything about Noah. Can I tell him this?

I felt droplets falling onto my hand, making me realize I was now crying. I tried to reach up and wipe my tears, but Finn beat me to it. I finally took this moment to look him in the eyes for what felt like the first time in forever, and my heart broke at the pain in them, caused by me acting like this. With a deep breath, I began to tell him everything.

I told him about how safe Will made me feel. How terrifying it was getting to be away from him. I told him about how this happened in the past. But this time, it was feeling so much harder to deal with. Pushing myself away from him before it hurt me more. I told him about the cravings. Apologized for smoking. How I wish none of this ever happened, because I couldn’t handle dealing with all the emotions. I even finally told him about the cover I sent to Noah, and how I haven’t heard a single thing from him since. Everything that has been running through my mind the past few days just spewed from my lips, each sentence hitting Finn like a truck full of pain.

He did his best to comfort me, but because most of it was problems he never had to work with before, we were both left feeling lost. So now I was silently sobbing into his chest as he held me, telling me that it was okay and that we can work this out.

After about ten minutes, my sobs dying down, I finally spoke again.

“And to top it all off, the 17th is coming up..” I said with a sniffle. The 17th was the day Chris passed. It was always hard for me, but I’ve been able to handle it the best I could in the past, but with everything happening this year, I don’t know how hard it will hit me.

”Oh, Hun..” he said, frowning, “We can get through this like we always do. It’s a completely different problem for you to deal with, so if we just seperate that from everything else, I promise we can work through this.”

I nodded and gave him another hug. I was definitely feeling better now that I finally let tears fall and let my thoughts out on more than just paper.

After collecting myself a little more, we stood and made our way towards the front of the bus. The boys looked shocked to see me. I know I probably looked like a mess, as I’ve only been putting effort into my appearance when I go on stage, but they were definitely more shocked to see me coming to them for the first time in over a week.

I walked to Damien first and gave him a big hug. He tensed in confusion for a second, but quickly relaxed and squeezed me tight. I giggled softly until he finally let me go, then did the same with Cal, who welcomed me with open arms and a proud smile. He held me close and dug his face into my shoulder, like he truly missed me. Then more arms joined us. I was now the center of a group hug and couldn’t help but laugh as they squeezed me half to death.

“I’m so glad to see you doing better,” Damien said, and I heard his voice waver slightly. I felt terrible doing this to them.

“I’m sorry for acting like this, I really should be coming to you when I need help, it’s just hard. But you’re the best family I could’ve asked for and I really need to take advantage of it,” I said as they start pulling away.

”Anything you need, we’re here for you. Always,” Cal stated.

“Now that you say that, I might have something I could use your help with,” I mumbled.

I took a deep breath. I had to do this. It was an outrageous step, but it was what I needed to do if I wanted to start working on myself. I stepped forward towards the mic and looked over the hundred of cheering faces in front of me. I took out my ear piece, wanting to feel closer to them as I began speaking.

“So, I know that there’s been some speculation lately. On how shit I’ve looked the past few shows,” I let out a little laugh, “And mainly my interaction with all of you. And I’m very sorry. I know excuses are a terrible apology, but I feel like I should explain just a little.”

The crowd died down, letting me give my speech.

“I know all of you understand what it’s like to have a bad day. Nothing goes right, you don’t want to talk to people, and you just want to lose your mind a little but. Sadly, that’s been a little too common for me lately. Life has been crazy, everything seems to be going wrong, and all I want to do is lay in bed. But you all push me to persevere.”

I pause to collect myself, knowing this will be a little rough for me.

“Now, I’m going to be very vulnerable here. When I look out and see all of you, I see a safe space, so please be nice to me,” I laugh again before taking a deep breath, “I used to deal with a lot. Life became too much and I chose not so great people to be around. With that, came falling down the pit that is…addiction…Now, I’ve been clean for coming on six years-“ The crowd cheered as I said that, causing my lip to quiver and I could feel emotion building in my throat, but I held my composure, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have those bad days. I struggle with a plethora of mental health issues, and sometimes I want to fall back into the false safety of those old days. But I don’t. Because of the boys behind me,” I pause and hold out my arms, motioning to my bandmates, “Some amazing people that have come into my life recently,” I glance over to the side stage, catching a shocked Ruffilo and Noah, Jolly and Nick creeping in behind them to hear what I have to say, then out towards Front of House where Matt sat, before finally looking back at the crowd, “And most importantly, all of you.”

I pause to wipe a tear that fell down my cheek as the crowd cheered once more.

“So, today, I am sadly once again revoking the privilege of the ‘Fan’s Choice’ song. I know. I’d hate me, too, but the reason I’m doing this is because I’ve learned that the best way to convey a message is through music. I have so much I have to say, and I am unbelievably bad at speeches, so I’m using one of my favorite songs to speak to you all.”

I pause to wipe a tear that fell down my cheek as the crowd cheered once more.

“This is wildly out of our genre. While that has never been a problem to any of you before, I still feel as if I should still warn you. Now, without further ado, here’s a song that has helped me more than I could ever explain.”

An array of applause flows through the building as the boys got ready to play. I was thankful they were so incredibly talented that they were willing to play a song that they had just learned earlier today. I take a look back at them, and once they all gave me a thumbs up, I began.

I started using again

Left my heart in Rocky Hill

Hole burning in my head

Needed a distraction from my head

Devil on my shoulder said try this instead

So I started using again

A saw a few fans singing along, both warming and breaking my heart. To know this song meant to know struggle. But to share that with them meant so much.

I started sleeping again

Traded late nights and sheep for Vicodin

The guilt burning in my chest set it

I started sleeping again

I took the mic off the stand, getting ready for the next part, wanting to finally feel emotion in the music I perform again.

I stopped wishing I was dead

Learned to love myself

Before anyone else

Become more than just a burden

I know I’m more than worthy of your time

I drop the mic to my side as Damien went crazy on the drums and Finn played a riff that he managed to execute perfectly, before singing again.

I started smoking again

Guess I missed coughing my lungs up

Every morning

Needing anything to keep me breathing

To prevent my blood from bleeding

I started smoking again

They all stopped playing, besides Finn picking the soft tune on his guitar.

I started loving again

Thought when I lost that will to live

I could never feel again

I’ll give it one more shot

And let someone in

I started loving again

Cam started playing again, getting louder by the second.

I started loving again

I took a deep breath, putting the mic back on the stand, but then grabbed the stand to stabilize myself.

I stopped wishing I was dead

Learned to love myself

Before anyone else

Become more than just a burden

I know I’m more than worthy of your time

I’m more than worthy of your time

I stepped away as the music died out. It took a few seconds, but soon the cheers came rumbling through the building, causing a smile to form on my face. I hated being vulnerable, but it was time. I’ll never fully heal that part of me, but being able to do this in front of so many supportive fans was a huge step for me.

After giving the crowd a long and appreciative goodbye and doing my best to hype them up for Bad Omens, even after the emotional show we had, the boys and I made our way off stage. I desperately wanted to run back to the bus and hide like I had been doing all week, but I pushed those thoughts away and walked towards backstage. This would be the first time I was going to really talk to the other band since the halloween party, other times just giving passing words, barely giving them a glance.

With a deep breath, I stepped into the room and all of their eyes shot up to see me. I wanted to cower away, hide from the confrontation. It was bad enough that I just said all of that to thousands of fans, now I had to deal with these four, and it was going to be so much harder.

None of us seemed to know how to react. I noticed that all of them had slightly puffy, red eyes, Noah’s being visibly redder than the rest, but I didn’t want to think about that too much to keep my own at bay.

“So uh… I guess this is where I apologize for how I’ve been acting...” I awkwardly trail out, shifting between my feet as they all just stared at me.

“What? No! You don’t have to apologize!” Ruffilo rushed out as he stood to walk towards me, “I’m just glad you’re okay. We’ve been so worried about you. And oh my god, did that take some balls out there.”

A smile creeped onto my lips as he talked. It did feel really good to take that step and get some of this off my chest. The rest of the guys stood and walked towards me, Noah trailing behind, keeping his distance.

“Y/N, you are one strong motherfucker. Never apologize for that. We all understand that life gets bad sometimes and you just need a break, but I want you to know that we would never judge you for that.” Nick said.

I couldn’t stop the tears before they came pouring down my face, despite not wanting to spill any more. All I could do was raise my arms, and they came in to give me a hug. I did my best to keep my tears from getting on Ruffilo’s shirt, but I feel like the fans would understand if they did see a wet spot.

I opened my eyes during the hug and saw a pair of skinny long legs standing awkwardly behind the others. With a small laugh mixed with a choked sob, I beckoned with the hand closest to him.

“Noah, get your ass in here.” His breath audibly hitched as I said his name, but he slowly made his way in and joined us. Then the three boys behind me did as well. And now I was trapped between seven men with no way out, slowly losing oxygen.

“Okay. Okay. I need to breathe.” I finally exclaimed after a few moments, making a few of them laugh.

They all pulled away and a few of them even wiped their eyes as they did.

“I love you all. I really do. I know I haven’t put much effort in getting close to some of you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you all mean so much to me,” I spoke, looking at all of them, “But that being said, wipe your tears and get out there.”

They chuckled and went back to getting ready to head on stage. Noah lingered a little longer than the rest, like he wanted to say something, but decided against it and joined the rest of them.

“You gonna stay and watch our set this time?” Jolly called out as he walked towards side stage. I give him a small smile.

”I have to call someone first, but I’ll be there.”

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian reader insert #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #running in circles #Spotify

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lukesvangelista · 1 day ago

Text

𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐀, 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍' 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘ʲᵈ²¹

in which joe goes out of his way to make sure you don't feel alone as you navigate recovery from surgery.

warnings; hip surgery, surgery recovery, mentions of joe's injury a couple years back

The athletic lounge was its usual chaotic mess of half-empty protein shake bottles, scattered hockey bags, and boys sprawled out across couches, chairs, and stools, recovering from lifting earlier that morning. The TV was on, playing a muted ESPN highlight reel, and the air smelled like a mix of sweat, coffee, whatever breakfast food was being served, and whatever Logan had decided to mix into his protein shake - probably something with an excessive amount of caffeine.

Joe sat lazily on his stool, a half-eaten plate of eggs, fruit, and cottage cheese pancakes in front of him. His phone was in his hand, but he wasn't really looking at it. The familiar post-lift exhaustion had settled deep in his muscles, but it was the good kind - the kind that left him know he'd put in the work that morning. Jake was sitting beside him, his elbows resting on his knees, lazily scrolling through something on his own phone. He wasn't really paying attention to anything in particular.

It was a rare moment of downtime before the rest of the day caught up with them - classes, team meetings, a skate later in the afternoon. The guys around them were talking about anything and everything - last night's game, assignments they hadn't started, what food was going to be ordered for dinner, etc.

It wasn't until Kristoffer spoke up that the atmosphere shifted.

"You guys hear about what happened to Y/N Y/L/N?"

The words hung in the air for a second before Jake lifted his head, "What do you mean?"

Kristoffer exhaled, leaning back against the couch, his arm draped over the top as he scrolled through his phone, "I heard Emma Peschel talking about it when she left the weight room this morning. Said Y/N got absolutely leveled in their last game. Right into the boards, from behind."

Joe's fingers tightened around his phone as he finally looked up to meet Kristoffer's eyes. Across from him, Logan frowned, sitting up straighter, "What?"

Kristoffer shook his head, and what he said next made Joe's blood run cold, "Apparently it fucked up her hip pretty badly. She had surgery a few days ago."

For a second, no one said anything. Then Patrick let out a low whistle, his voice soft but disbelieving, "That's brutal."

Jake's jaw tightened. What kind of hit does that much damage?

Kristoffer didn't reply to Patrick right away. Instead, he unlocked his phone, pulled up Twitter, and turned it towards the group of boys who had now huddled close together to see, "Some unofficial Ohio State updates account posted the highlight."

Joe leaned in - along with Jake, Patrick, Logan, Damien, and Chris - as Kris hit play. The footage wasn't fantastic - a little grainy, but Big10 Network could be like that sometimes - but it was clear enough. You were flying up the ice, cutting toward the offensive zone, completely locked in on the play. Your strides were fast and strong, your stick handling some of the smoothest the boys had ever seen. You weren't bracing for impact because you didn't see it coming.

Then, out of nowhere, a Minnesota player came charging in from behind.

The hit was brutal. Full-speed, straight into the boards. Your body folded awkwardly on impact, your legs kicking out from under you. You went down hard, barely moving after, but the boys (especially Joe, who had flinched so hard that his brother looked over at him in concern) winced as your singular cry of echoed through the now practically silent rink.

"Holy shit," Damien muttered. Chris exhaled next to him, a hand running through his brown hair.

Patrick shook his head, "Dude, not only is that extremely fucking dirty, it's extremely fucking dangerous!"

Jake had snatched Kristoffer's phone out of his hand, watching the replay again, his jaw tightened even more than he thought was possible, "How the hell do you even let that happen? That is textbook boarding. How does a ref miss that?"

Logan leaned forward, his hands now resting on his knees, "Please tell me there was at least a call on the play."

Kristoffer shook his head, "No clue if the refs did anything about it. Don't know if the NCAA reviewed it either. Emma was talking about something, but I couldn't hear her."

Damien scoffed, "There better have been some kind of suspension for that."

Joe didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He knew exactly what kind of hit that was. Knew what it did to a body. Knew the helpless feeling of waking up after surgery and realizing everything was about to get a whole lot harder before it got better. He remembered the way it felt when he'd been the one laid up, recovering. The way every single movement had hurt. The way basic things - standing, walking, even simply existing - had felt impossible. The way he cried because his parents were back in New Hampshire, and the way Jake had comforted him when the pain had become too much.

But you didn't have a sibling at Ohio State. And you didn't have parents in Ohio, either.

The motion of Chris leaning back against the couch shook him out of his thoughts, "She still in the hospital?"

Kristoffer shook his head, "Nah, she got back to her apartment last night. She's on crutches for awhile, though. Apparently it's like, a six month recovery timeline."

Joe exhaled, stretching his legs as best as he could from the stool he was still sitting on, but his mind was somewhere else again.

He remembered crutching around campus - how slow everything felt, how impossible it was to move through crowds, how people brushed past like he wasn't even there. The way doorways suddenly felt like obstacles, how uneven sidewalks became death traps, how exhaustion hit twice as fast when every step took twice the effort.

How isolating it was.

As much as it sucked, the worst part wasn't the pain. It wasn't even the frustration of not being able to do normal things.

It was how alone it made him feel.

And now you were going through that.

Joe stayed quiet as the conversation eventually shifted, the guys moving on to talk about practice, school, weekend plans. He knew he should be paying attention, but he wasn't. Because in his head, he'd already made up his mind.

He didn't say anything to the guys. But tomorrow, when you showed up on campus, struggling to crutch around like he knew you would be, you weren't going to be doing it alone.

Before he even realized what he was doing, he was already making his way toward the trainer's office.

The training room was quiet when Joe walked in. Jason, the athletic trainer for the team, was typing something into his computer when he glanced up.

Joe didn't waste any time, "Hey, do you have an extra pair of crutches?"

Jason raised an eyebrow, "You planning on breaking something?"

"No, Jake tripped over the table in the lounge and can't currently put weight on his ankle."

"What?!"

Joe huffed a laugh, "Relax. Jake's fine. I just need a pair."

"You are a fucking asshole, Dunlap!"

Jason studied him for a second before speaking again, "But yes, we've got spares. Why?"

Joe hesitated, not really knowing how to explain it, "Just figured I might need them."

Jason gave him an odd look but didn't push, "Alright. They're in the back closet."

Joe nodded, thanking him, and went to grab a pair. As he lifted them from the rack, he already knew that people were going to give him shit for this. The chirps were inevitable. His teammates were going to call him soft, say he was whipped, probably make a joke about how he was trying to impress you. But this wasn't about that.

This was about knowing what it felt like to struggle through the huge fucking campus alone, to feel like every single step was a battle, to want someone to just get it.

He knew what that felt like, and he wasn't going to let you go through that alone.

The next day, campus was its usual mess of students rushing between classes, bundled up against the biting Columbus morning cold. The wind had a sharp edge to it, the kind that cut through even the thickest layers of clothing and made the long walks between buildings feel like a battle. For most people, it was just an inconvenience - something to complain about before heading inside to the warmth of a lecture hall.

For you, it was hell.

You were exhausted already, and it wasn't even 10:00 in the morning. The crutches you'd been forced to use since your surgery were stiff under your hands, digging into your palms and straining your shoulders with every step. The rhythmic thud of rubber against pavement had become an annoying, constant reminder of how much slower you moved now.

It wasn't just the physical struggle that frustrated you, though. It was everything. The way people pushed past you like you were nothing more than an obstacle, barely giving you space to move. The way some people shot you sympathetic glances like you were some tragic case. The way every simple task now required double the effort.

You were so caught up in your irritation that you didn't notice someone approaching you from behind.

"Hey, wait up!"

You barely had time to react before someone fell into step beside you. You turned your head and nearly stumbled in confusion.

Joe Dunlap.

On crutches?

You blinked hard, half-convinced you were imagining things.

Joe was part of the men's hockey team. You knew him, but not well. The two of you had talked a few times here and there - mostly in passing, before or after practices, or at the occasional team event where the men's and women's teams overlapped. He was always fine. Not rude, not overly friendly, just kinda there. If you had to describe your guys' relationship, it would be nothing more than surface level.

Which is why the fact that he was now crutching alongside you made absolutely no sense.

Your immediate instinct was that you must have missed something. Maybe he had gotten hurt, and you'd just been too caught up in your own situation to notice. But no. He was moving too easily, his pace too controlled, too smooth. You recognized the actual struggle of being on crutches, and Joe clearly wasn't dealing with it.

Which begged the question: "What the hell are you doing?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

Joe smirked, shifting his grip on the crutches, "Misery loves company."

You stared at him, then at the crutches, and then back at him, "You do realize you don't need those, right?" you asked slowly, as if maybe he just hadn't figured it out yet.

Joe shrugged, "Never said I did."

You opened your mouth, and then closed it. You genuinely had no idea how to respond.

"So you're just... what? Choosing to suffer for fun?"

Joe let out a short laugh, "Something like that."

You stopped walking (or crutching, rather) for a second, forcing him to stop, too. You turned to face him fully, looking him up and down like you were trying to make sense of a particularly difficult math problem. “So let me get this straight,” you said, “You got up this morning, fully healthy, and thought, 'hey, you know what would be great? Using crutches for no reason'?”

Joe smirked, “That about sums it up.”

You exhaled sharply, pressing your lips together in frustration. “Jesus Christ,” you muttered, shaking your head as you started moving again.

Joe didn’t seem fazed. He just crutched along beside you, completely unfazed by the fact that you still had no idea what to make of him.

The two of you moved together in silence for a moment, navigating the mess of students swarming through campus. People still rushed past you both without looking, but Joe’s presence made it slightly easier - whether you liked it or not, he created a buffer, making it so that you weren't the only one people had to avoid.

It didn’t take long for your curiosity to get the better of you.

“So what, you’re just gonna do this all day?” you asked, still baffled.

Joe shrugged, "Maybe.”

You let out an incredulous laugh, “You’re an idiot.”

“Probably,” he admitted easily.

You shook your head, adjusting your grip on your crutches. Your shoulders were already aching, but at least now you had something else to focus on besides your frustration.

You guy walked - well, crutched - for a bit longer before Joe spoke again, “I had the same surgery, you know.”

That caught you off guard.

You glanced at him, “Yeah?”

Joe nodded, “A couple of years ago. Messed up my hip, had to get surgery, spent way too much time stuck on crutches,” he exhaled, “Sucked.”

You let out a short laugh, “Yeah. No kidding.”

Joe smirked again, the corners of his mouth upturned in a small upward grin, “Figured you’d get it.”

You paused again. You just weren't sure what to say. You still didn’t understand what he was doing - why he cared enough to do something this ridiculous - but you didn’t hate it. It was just weird.

The two of you weren’t close. You guys weren’t the kind of friends who texted or hung out. Your interactions had always been casual, fleeting, nothing that would ever suggest that he’d go out of his way to do something like this.

And yet, here he was.

“You’re actually serious about this, aren’t you?” you asked, glancing over at him.

Joe smiled, “What gave it away?”

You shook your head, “You know there were like, a thousand easier ways to be a decent person, right?”

Joe grinned, “Yeah, but this way is more fun.”

“For who?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He tilted his head, pretending to think about it, but the answer came easily, “Me.”

You rolled her eyes, “You’re an idiot.”

“We already covered that.”

You both stayed silent for a bit after he spoke. You weren't sure how, but somehow, this was the most normal you'd felt since surgery. Joe didn’t say anything else after that. He just kept crutching beside you, step for step, through the chaos of campus.

The two of you kept crutching along, falling into an easy rhythm. It was strange, really. Joe had been a near-stranger to you before today, just someone you'd had a few casual conversations with at team events, maybe a passing nod at the rink. But now, here you two were, making your way across campus like you'd been doing this forever.

You still didn’t quite know what to make of it.

Joe, for his part, didn’t seem to expect anything from you. He wasn’t making a big deal out of it, wasn’t hovering like he thought you were fragile. He was just there, matching your pace, keeping you company.

And, as much as you hated to admit it, it actually helped.

The weight of all the frustration you'd been carrying since surgery - the helplessness, the irritation at how slow everything was, the exhaustion from having to adjust to this new reality - felt just a little lighter with him beside you.

Maybe it was because he understood.

Maybe it was because, despite your initial confusion, it was actually kind of nice having someone by your side who wasn’t rushing ahead, who wasn’t looking at you like you were some kind of inconvenience.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was because Joe Dunlap was actually a decent guy.

You weren't ready to say that out loud just yet, though.

As the two of you neared the entrance of one of the main buildings, Joe finally broke the silence, "But for real,” he said, his voice more serious now, “if you ever need anything - help getting around, carrying stuff, running late to class - just let me know.”

You glanced over at him, eyebrows raised, “So now you’re my personal assistant?”

Joe smirked, “I wouldn’t go that far. Just figured I’d offer.”

You huffed out a small laugh, “You sure you wanna do that? I might just take you up on it, Dunlap.”

Joe smiled brightly, his brown eyes twinkling in the sun, “Good. I wouldn't have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

You didn’t respond right away. It was weird, how easy this was. How normal it felt, despite the fact that you two weren’t really friends - at least, not in the traditional sense. But for some reason, you believed him.

You weren't used to people outside of your team offering help without making a big show of it.

Joe had just done it. No hesitation, no expectation of anything in return. Maybe that’s what made it different.

You guys reached the building, and Joe pulled the door open, stepping aside so you could crutch through first. You gave him a skeptical look as she passed.

“You better not be planning to do this everyday.”

Joe laughed quietly, “No promises.”

You rolled her eyes, but there was something almost amused in the way you shook your head.

“Idiot,” you muttered.

“Again, we already covered that,” Joe shot back.

You bit back a grin.

Maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t mind if he did keep this up.

a/n; thanks to rey (@fantillisgirl) for enlightening my slight joe obsession! hope you all enjoy :)

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