#this is a bittersweet storytime but

[yorufi]

May I request a Tooth Fairy grilling. the mental image of it is just funny. autism be damned this dentist can work a grill

this is my fav request so far (i put all my knowledge about american culture here /hj)

i want another event with greenlake cast where they go on a road-trip through the states (with TooF and Z as drivers) and have the most 🦅🦅🦅 american 🇺🇸🇺🇸 experience 🤠🤠🤠 ever. some shenanigans later and they have a grill cookout, because TooF was bragging about her new grill that she got on a yard sale and was waiting for a moment when she could finally grill. she comes out with a grill in this glory of an outfit (i thought about putting her in a moo moo, but this screams more homosexual)

i would love to put the rest of greenlake cast in a spectrum of queer fashion, but for now only Madam Z, Sonetto and Vertin

update: i found a better shirt for TooF grill outfit… regretting not checking twitter before that

[strawberryshortcake1495]

Back in 3rd grade, my class and I went on a field trip to this forest where we studied about bugs and lizards. We were paired up into groups and I got grouped up with this girl in my class. We’ll call her Anne. My relationship with Anne…was complicated, to say the least. She never really talked to me, sometimes called me a weirdo, and would give me stink eyes when we were at lunch. So being together with her lowkey scared me, but I still tried to be friendly because that’s what a good person does. To my surprise, Anne was actually…really nice. When she was reading the little pamphlet on an exhibit, I saw the little gleam in her eyes. The same gleam I’d see in everyone else. I was so taken aback, but I was also super relieved. I couldn’t believe I had assumed her to be this cold and distant girl when she was actually just this shy kid. When our trip was over, and we were heading towards the bus, I noticed a stick on the ground. It was a long and beautiful stick, and me being me, I grabbed it and brought it back to the school with us. It was a reminder of that wonderful trip, those good times with people who made me feel alive. When we got back to the school, we were walking over to the cafeteria when my teacher noticed the stick. She made me throw it away. The beautiful majestic stick, tossed into the garbage bin. Never to be seen again.

But don’t worry, this story kinda has a happy ending. Since that day, Anne started being openly more social with me and hung out with me alongside my friends. She went from this aloof and quiet girl to a snarky but well-meaning kid. Thinking about 3rd grade is actually making me emotional. I moved schools during my childhood, and we’ll call the one I spent this year of my life in “V” (for privacy reasons). My parents complain that V was the worst school they’ve sent me to but V was the only school that made me feel like I belonged. The playground was cozy, all the kids knew and liked me, and it was just…this…place of happiness. When the school year ended, I was given the choice to keep attending V or return to my old school. My stupid nostalgia-riddled brain chose my old school. I thought I could make amends with my old teachers and be a good kid again, but it just led me down a path I’ll never fix.

I should’ve stayed at V, where I felt happy and loved and cared for. Imagine in another life, 3 more years of paradise at that place. But I’m a teenager now, and I know I can never go back.

[hadesoftheladies]

hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

“And It’s Just As Good As I Knew It Would Be”

And so I started falling,

Endlessly.

From the clouds-I went.

Falling, laughing, crying, and fighting like hell.

I hit the ground hard and fast and when I finally opened my eyes— I was so confused

My skin was warm and the sun was bright. I looked up and I saw you holding out your hand. Intoxicated with the smell of sweet wine and your laughter. I started running with you —the most irresistible force of fire and life I have ever known.

I didn’t want to understand how this happened. I thought I was dying? I accepted my fate and somehow gravitated to your soul. Like that’s exactly what the universe had planned, pushing me off of the clouds- this is why I had fallen.

Deeply, Madly, Endlessly.

I never knew anything as sweet as you.

With blood on my lip and bruises on my body. You healed a part of me I didn’t know was so broken.

Although, my wounds were deeper than I actually knew. You couldn’t get to them. Embedded into my bones I felt something snap, I looked down and I was bleeding. My heart fell out of my chest.

We just stared…

Tears flowed down your cheek.

Gently, you picked it up and placed it back into my hands. Giving me a cute little cartoon bandaid, and we continued running.

but,

We ran out of bandaids— that was a shit fucking day. You didn’t know what to do. It was storming. Rain was pouring. I couldn’t see, I wiped the water from my eyes and I saw something dark emanating in the distance- monstrous shadows slowly creeping out of the night sky.

They were familiar and I was terrified.

I knew they were coming for me.

You held me tight and I should of held you tighter. I should have kissed you harder. I screamed as they dug their claws into my feet ripping me away from you.

They took me. Pulled me under. You tried grabbing my hands. You did everything you could, Everything. You fought. Cuts and bloody knuckles.

Your heart got broken.

I knew this part was my fault.

You see, I knew them from long ago, and they only got more sinister since I was a kid. I was just so fucking tired. I should have protected you. I should have gave you a clear warning. Although I tried, and you thought I was just trying to scare you like in the movies we’d watch, but unlike the bad acting in chainsaw massacre, this was real and you didn’t understand. How could you?

They were vicious. Told me that you hated me. Told me I was worthless. Fed me poison and told me that love never existed. I scoffed and screamed out your name- giving them the middle finger. It exists. I said.

It got quiet

dead silence filled the air…

Slowly stepping forward, claws dragging on the cold hard ground. They each held up a jagged mirror to my starved and broken body.

Dissociation glazed over my face.

Gripping a fist full of my hair, forcing my tear stained eyes to the image in front of me.

“How could anybody love you?”

A trail of mocking laughter echoed off the walls and I fell to my knees.

You were trying to get back to me. I heard you calling and I so badly wanted you to hear me. To bring me back to the surface.

But It was too late…

I couldn’t escape. I didn’t have a shovel and six feet under wasn’t going to cut it. I had to salvage what was left of my soul.

This time- I wanted to. Honestly, it brought me no greater joy. Live or eat shit for the rest of your life knowing they will never let you have peace.

It felt like an eternity.

I nearly broke every bone in my body.

Tortured and forgotten until I felt nothing.

For months, I felt-

Nothing.

Rip me into pieces, tear me limb from limb, but being slowly poisoned by nothingness…. Is not of this earth.

Having to constantly remind myself that I was even still alive.

Day after day, I was exhausted. Sinking quietly into the abyss. Collecting shards of broken glass left over from previous years. Careful not to sound off the rust covered chains they kept me in. In the pitch black darkness, raw and bloody, my fingertips gently tracing the perfect outline.

I was patient.

I waited until they fell dormant. They do this for periods at a time- you see. They’re sensitive to sounds and I was done living in silence.

The darkness almost swallowed me whole when I finally heard a click. My eyes shot open.

Quick to my feet, I lured them in with a bang- Throwing my restraints on the floor. They came lunging towards me and I bolted to the bag of jagged mirrors.

Every single loved ones face, Every single regret and moment of betrayal flooded my body.

Nothing but adrenaline in my veins and the memories of grievous heartbreak pounding inside of my head. I wasn’t afraid anymore- I had nothing more to lose than my life. So, fuck it.

Cutting them off with determination. They clawed after the bag. My fists were raw as I gripped it from their ridged grasp.

Striking the floor. Mirrors shattered in every direction.

Their reflections scattered, but it wasn’t enough.

Dark screeching laughter pulsated through me like nails on a chalkboard.

Palpitating my heart with terror.

Quickly, I slid. Scraping my knee to the only un-shattered piece still left on blood stained ground. I held it up strong while it cut deeply into my palm.

Staring in silence and disbelief.

Unfazed by the glass setting fire into my skin.

Boldness and hell ran through my veins.

“it was you who never existed.”

Impulsive rage filled their hollow eyes as they tried for my throat one last time.

I smiled in satisfaction as I waited.

Face to face with their own demise of a faceless existence- They fulminated into ashes.

Falling pure as snow.

twisted echoes fell silent

The smoke cleared and my lungs inhaled deeply.

I could breathe.

Silent tears dripped off the tip of my nose as I looked down on what remained. Standing over the ashes with years of left over rage.

Cursing deeply under my breath.

Spitting onto the ash with spite.

I could have swept what was left under the rug, but I spent too many years doing that.

This was a reminder.

I dusted myself off, and started climbing.

Dirt, sweat and dried up tears covered my entire face.

With my fingertips barely scratching the surface.

I sensed it all at once— Light, Radiance, and Euphoria fell like glitter all around my being.

Finally,

I was free.

I was finally fucking free.

I felt proud. I was grateful. I was healing.

Walking into this new found life, the sun was shining and the trees were swaying in the breeze. I was dancing when it started raining. I smiled, spinning myself around dizzy, joyful-

and there you were.

You looked different.

You looked like you had been searching for me all your life.

It was always you.

Dancing, laughing, as vibrant as the blood moon.

Holding out your hand, impatiently smiling.

“What are you waiting for my love?”

[moonlightduelist]

i’m the last person in the world to watch it but i finished the queen charlotte bridgerton show and really if they have the capacity to produce that level of writing why is the actual bridgerton show like that?

[exactlydifferentcherryblossom]

Bittersweet

I asked someone out on a date even though I knew they were moving to another state soon. They agreed to go out on the date with me. We went to the movies and had a great time. We have also hung out since then, and I have gone on a rollercoaster of emotions.

Once feelings were reciprocated I started to feel emotionally distant. I knew she was leaving soon, I have severe anxiety, and imposter syndrome on top of that. Not the most satisfying emotional sandwich to eat, but I needed to eat it.

I knew my anxiety was making me feel distant. (I need to leave before they find out what a natural disaster I am. *I know it isn't true, but it's difficult not for me to be scared of something like that happening.) I feel guilty for feeling slightly relieved that it may not progress into something more serious because of this. (Something for me to mention to my therapist next week.)

I am also asexual and am comfortable in my asexuality. However, this is my first experience dating since coming out as ace. I feel the overwhelming tsunami that makes me think that I won't be able to fulfill their needs and in turn be cast aside. She's have been so sweet, supportive, and accepting of my asexuality and it makes me feel so safe.

I am starting to feel like the numbing fog is clearing and feelings are bubbling up. There are still so many unknowns, but I am so happy that I asked her out and that I've gotten to spend time with her. I am also going to miss her.

Falling for someone who is moving away soon is so bittersweet.

[liulith]

Another rec list but this time it's only Radiostatic animatics

(romantic, platonic and one-sided)

Aishite Aishite Aishite 🎵 by I.V.Y

Alastor discovers feelings by @nomifae

Alastor finally gets defeated by @nyipi

Alastor really REALLY hates Vox by Darkcatziward | reverse by @pinksartdump

Alastor rejects Vox by aud

Alastor vs compliments by @kiribiribi

All you wanna do 🎵 by josephbaby20

bad word 🎵 大倭瓜只会来南极养生

Be nice to me 🎵 by Ashed Wings

Bigger than love 🎵 by LEMONCATYU

Bittersweet 🎵 by gatormurky

Bokusatsu tenshi Dokuro-chan opening 🎵 by @kiribiribi

(BUT) 🎵 by LEMONCATYU

Butcher Vanity 🎵 by 散文幻

Come and dance with me 🎵by spoonyspine

Cure 🎵 by @pinksartdump

Erase me 🎵 by everlasting hiraeth

Fang Zhen (anyway) by 阿波罗落萝洛啰 | voxal的反正 (Anyway) 🎵 by 麦田怪犬

Fear by heyguysitsmekitty

Forget him 🎵 by Chen

Greatest Enemy by Alektoonie

He wants Alastor's attention by @lucdoodle

Hito Mania 人狂热症/人マニア 🎵 by Letranger

Horny angry tango 🎵 by Ratacuache | by zx窒息zx

House of memories 🎵 by Azumi Taragashi

I bet you can't by miruki_tii

I Can't Decide 🎵 by Yi Meng (YT link)

I can't stand you by @kiribiribi

Idol 🎵 by LEMONCATYU

If you win this one I'll give you a kiss by palabokay

I'M HIGH 🎵 by defunoki

is it gay to drunk dial your rival to say you love them? 🎵 by gatormurky

isn't that reason enough? by @yksuna

I won't say I'm in love 🎵 by @pinksartdump

JENNY 🎵 by @angyluffy

Jordan River 🎵 by @flavarrshop

Kamippoi na (God-ish) 🎵 by sm43633294

LOVE LIKE YOU 🎵 by Mikiishui

Mama's Gun 🎵 by 乳制品狂热

Masochism Tango 🎵 by halchui | Masochism Tango by una chamba es vital

"Maybe in another universe" by @flavarrshop part 2

Meant to be yours 🎵 by Phillberry | Meant to be yours by M Shiro | by pinksartdump

Megamind by Sashka

Miseen 🎵 by 炽能果甘 | Miseen by len

Miss you by @kiribiribi

Murder on the dancefloor 🎵 by Morgggart

mutually sadomaso my palabokay

Never getting rid of me 🎵 by palabokay

No I'm hitting on you by palabokay

Obsessed with you by @lucdoodle

Other side 🎵 by cryptidslight | by spaeceymuse | by Crashite

Possibly in Michigan 🎵 by Ram

Punishment Game / Kuru Ringo-sama 🎵 by Yoshida

Rabbit 🎵 by 乌木芥芥次次饭

Red flags (human centipede) 🎵 by @sicgtiti

season 2 leak by @trippyciphs

she wants revenge by @thatoneweasel

SHINY 🎵 by spoonyspine

Shunran 的春岚 🎵 by 兼

Somethin' stupid 🎵 by Mikiishui | Somethin' stupid by Archivisté

STAYED GONE 🎵 by aud

Sweet Talk 🎵 by @mvabank

Target by @colonelcheru

Ten things I hate about you by palabokay

The day after by mallowtownmouse

The Pitiful Children 🎵 by Ratacuache

This guy is in love with you 🎵 by @thatoneweasel

Thrill of First Love 🎵 by Neal

Tongues and Teeth 🎵 by spoonyspine | by Ebonisa

Touch by Mvabank

TWIST THE KNIFE by sheaburger555

Two birds on a wire 🎵 by I.V.Y

USING YOU 🎵 by zar

Vox after he learned Alastor was back by I.V.Y

Vox and Alastor storytime by Maria Quevedo

Vox pranks Alastor by Crashite

"Vox we need to have a talk" by @flavarrshop

Wet 🎵 by Hemiko

"What am I really to you?" by @flavarrshop

What if they became friends? by @cynthesia07

...Which is never enough by Luary

You could call it a rivalry by Lou's dubs, @artofrhues

Your obedient servant 🎵 by momeshi

Your smile is different now 🎵 by palabokay

Zettai Tekitai Mecha Kirai yaa (Absolute Hostility, I Hate You So Much) 🎵 by 禀偶秉也可以是饼干狗 | by Iris | MMD by Futaba Ryo

[tennessoui]

Ok kit I have a bone to pick with you because you write all these amazing angst stories that go on forever but then there’s only like 3 glimpses of fluff ????? Like ???? Please don’t rip my heart out and just leave it there ???? After putting us through thousands of words of pure dread and stress I feel like we deserve a lil treat at the end like give us more kisses and cuddles and pure happiness

(I’m kidding btw I love everything you give us lol I feel like I need to be in the right headspace sometimes gotta prepare my heart for what’s about to happen. Like pretty pls give us like a very short summary of what happens after that kiss in the drunk party au like surely they get together and get married and whatnot?? Also why did anakin only just divorce padme after 9 years like that’s a pre long time to stay in a marriage he’s not 100% into imo but also what do I do know about love lol)

so storytime right when i was in the sixth grade, smack dab in the middle of impressionable middle schooler at 11 years old, i read ahead in my english textbook (nerd) to a poem we never actually got to in class and it was about these two people who used to be together but who broke up meeting at a party and it's both amicable and bittersweet and they're both on this balcony with the party noises in the background and a storm is approaching and the narrator thinks that everything is frozen in that moment except for them because it's like the person she had loved then was changing and growing before her eyes until they turned into a stranger and then they both go back inside because the storm is almost here and you actually can't stop time and they're not lovers anymore they're just strangers but they had one last moment of being together filled with awkward conversations and nostalgic feelings and then they too understand they can't stop time because you really can't stop time did i mention that and the storm was always going to hit and it's like their final goodbye to both each other and who they used to be

and ive never been able to find that poem cause i don't remember the title or the poet or the 6th grade english textbook it was in but when i say that it had a deep effect on me.....lmao. everything i've ever written contains at least one or two elements of that poem i just wanna make someone else feel the way i did when i was twelve and read it for the first time

[prodigal-explorer]

my tss storytime big bang 2023 story!

hello! this is my first time doing a big bang event, and i'm so happy that it was the amazing @tss-storytime event! my story is called "where the sky meets the sea", and it is a summer-after-highschool au with fluff and angst sprinkled into a beautiful platonic connection between five friends as they try to enjoy the last months they have together before they are separated by ambition and adulthood.

i was paired with the amazing artist @thefloofinator! i am so excited because i am a massive fan of her work. stay tuned because i am going to be linking her post here once it's out and probably reblogging with all of my gushing. if you're reading this, sophie, i apologize in advance!

ao3 link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49284997/chapters/124363747

content warnings are specified before each chapter! i hope you enjoy the story, it was such a joy to create. especially because i am in a similar situation. i graduated high school in may of this year, and i'm moving into my freshman college dorm in a week. i'm really feeling that same bittersweetness and desperation to stay in the moment that is expressed throughout this story. i hope somewhere out there, some of you can relate to this and feel comfort in being understood.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Maple and Rosemary by Alison James

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Publication Date: February 28, 2023

Synopsis:

A touching story about a sugar maple tree who finds a lifelong friend when a young girl comes to seek comfort in its branches. For the longest time, Maple was on her own, ignored by the cedars and the pines. All she wanted was a friend she could talk to. Then one day, Rosemary climbs into her branches, sad and searching for a friend of her own. Together they form a bond as real as roots. Through the seasons and across a lifetime, Maple and Rosemary tells a story of true friendship, one in which the experiences we share become a part of who we are. Alison James's spare, eloquent text is accompanied by luminous illustrations that capture the shifting seasons in all their glory, by Jennifer K. Mann, creator of the much-acclaimed picture book, The Camping Trip.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review below the cut.

My Review:

Kiddo (9) and I loved this sweet story of the friendship between a girl and a tree. It reminds me of the Giving Tree only better - instead of a relationship where the boy takes and takes, Rosemary and Maple's friendship has both of them giving, both of them receiving the love they need to grow strong and to move past the loneliness they both share at the beginning of the book. The illustrations are whimsical and have a childlike charm. Kiddo said they looked a bit like crayon drawings and they do have that air about them. They also have a lot of character and show Rosemary's expressions really well. Kiddo listened rapt through the whole story (with only one interruption to ask anxiously if Rosemary would ever come back) and was very thoughtful after we finished. He is at the age where he is beginning to want friends and recognize loneliness, and the story seemed to resonate with him, as both Maple and Rosemary begin the story struggling with that. I love that it ends on a positive note. We never read the Giving Tree much, as it does not depict a healthy relationship and isn't really a happy story. Maple and Rosemary, in contrast, ends with Maple and Rosemary realizing they have become a part of one another and neither will ever be lonely again. It does a great job illustrating what true friendship is like and softens the bittersweet knowledge that Maple will outlive Rosemary, because Maple will always have memories of her. It would be a perfect read-aloud book for storytime and I am going to recommend it to my library as it is just the sort the children's librarian there likes to choose. *Thanks to Alison James and Neal Porter Books for providing an early copy for review.

[exocean]

heartstopper was so lovely 😔💞💕

[jayykayy97]

Some dryly comical remembrance:

My ex used to accuse me of being a heroin addict for a brief period of time after we broke up for good. Not only did he accuse me of being addicted to heroin, but he said I was a needle junkie, nonetheless.

Don't get me wrong. I have done my fair share of drugs in my days. I could have been considered an addict for quite some time. I have nothing against people who are, in fact, addicted to the needle.

However, I am not. I have never been. And I never will be.

And here's why:

I am ridiculously terrified of injection needles. Like... Cannot-even-get-a-flu-shot-without-passing-out terrified.

I know what you're thinking too. "But Jay! You have so many piercings! How are you afraid of needles?"

Well you see, young wonton, I am not afraid of the needle. I can sit through 5 hours of brutal, painful tattooing and barely bat an eye. I have 23 piercings, and I still stand by the fact that only 2 of them actually hurt. So trust, it is not the needle.

The injecting of, or taking of, fluids from me (ie. getting a shot, taking my blood, etc.) is what gets me. I'm so used to passing out at this point that I warn every unfortunate soul who has to stick me. And so it goes... Every. Single. Time.

AND HE KNOWS THAT!!!

He has physically watched me get stuck and pass the fuck out. How and why would I be SHOOTING UP HEROIN?

He took it far enough to call my jobs and tell them to check me for track marks. And I just laugh and laugh every time I remember it. Because bro, you are a straight up dumbass.

[therovingstar]

Hien never smokes. Growing up, tobacco was an indulgence he saw many in his father’s court take part in, and he would avoid the social hall during that time because the smoke irritated his nose and the smell was off-putting. If it was just his father, though, taking a leisurely puff on the veranda of his chambers after a long day, he would linger close by, and the smell of the tobacco, usually so irritating, would gain a certain fragrance he came to enjoy, if only because he associated it with precious time spent with Kaien. He also came to love the pipe itself; crimson in color, with gold accents in the shapes of various flora and wildlife. It was funny to him, he told his father one evening, that something so pretty, like a work of art, could produce something so foul. Kaien laughed at his pinched face, and promised him he’d give it to him someday.

Kaien was never able to keep his promise. The pipe and his katana were the only valuables secured from his bloodied person after the rebellion’s failure. They were later given to Gosetsu, who, on that starlit night on the Azim Steppe, gave both to Hien as a commemoration of his first steps into his father’s shoes.

As the ruler of Doma, Hien never smokes, as he still finds the smell and vapors irritating. One time a year, however, he does. On the anniversary of his father’s death, sitting on the veranda with his sword laid across his lap, the smoke from Kaien’s favorite pipe wafts through the late winter air, just tinged with the beginnings of Spring. Hien breathes it in, and remembers.

[evwuniverse]

Nintendo Nostalgia Nintendogs

Talk about a blast from the past, I was cleaning my room today and came across my Nintendo DSI. Now keep in mind it’s completely normal to find video game consoles literally everywhere. I consider myself a console collector and I’m super proud of it. Most of my concosles are from Nintendo I specifically loved all of their handheld consoles. I’m always on the go and have been my entire life so it just makes sense for me to have consoles that I can take with me on the go. Anyway before I diverge off the beaten path of this post...

The game that was inside of my Nintnedo DSI was the original Nintendogs game Nintendogs Dauchsund and friends. So, naturally when you have a sense of nostaligia with a video game what do you do? you play it. That’s exactly what I did I stopped cleaning for a full hour just to go in and play with the puppies I haven’t visited in years. What’s super sad about this is this gives you actual emotions so it made me feel like I abandoned them for so long. The connection was far to real when I started to play the game again. I didn’t know how much I truly missed the original game. Keep in mind I do have the 3Ds game but it’s not the same. There’s something about the original that just doesn’t feel right about the “newer” version. 

Below is my story about my first video console bought specifically for me which was the original Nintendo DS and the Nintendogs game. I really hope you’ll read it. It’s just a sweet memory I wanted to share with all of you. Just press the “keep reading” button below. 

My Story Receiving a Nintendo DS (original) With the Nintendogs Game:

I feel like for a little bit of time I’m going to be playing it a little more. Not that I don’t have my own real life pets that I love and adore. But keep in mind I had the original Nintendo DS with that particular game. It is a HUGE part of my childhood and it brought back so many amazing memories. I won’t forget the day I had a best friend at the time we’ll call her Alex (not her full name). She had a red original Nintendo DS with the Chihuahua and Friends Nintnendogs game. I’ve never seen anything like it. This was my first time ever seeing a video game console outside of a Sega Genisis system. I was amazed! there was a touch screen. I was very much shielded as a child which isn’t always a bad thing but wasn’t a great thing either. 

My friend asked me if I wanted to borrow it and bring it back the next day. Which might I add was the beginning of my insomnia. Thank you Nintendogs. Ha-ha. I was so excited and of course didn’t pass it up I told my mom I was borrowing it so she would know and I played it literally all night. The next day came and I brought it back as a kid this was one of the best nights of my life. So what did I do? I’m not particularly self motivated I was in 4th grade and I failed the FCAT reading (state standardized test at the time) in 3rd grade. So, I said to my parents if I pass the FCAT reading this year may I get an original Nintendo with the Nintendogs game. I didn’t want anything else. My parents at the time would do anything for me to just pass these standardized tests that no matter what I did I just had the worst time. I even had extra time on them. 

What did I do? I passed the test! I remember the night so vividly we went on either the Walmart or Target website during the holidays. There was a bundle one specifically with the game and the DS so they told me to go over and choose everything quickly before they sold out. I did. I was so excited this was my first time getting a video game console and video game that was mine. This was the beginning of my console collection and every few years I saved up the money or worked hard for a newer console when I could. I was never handed anything to me on a silver platter I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve done and received. To be fair I also never really asked for a whole lot and appreciated a lot of what I had. So when I did go to my parents for something I’d ask “What could I do? or what would it take for me to get _____ for my birthday, holidays, passing tests, etc?” 

Finding my Nintendogs game brought back so many memories to me today. I had to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoyed my story. Let me know what your first console and video game you’ve ever played was. I’d love to hear it. 

Until next time...

Ellie

[carloandseb]

A new YouTube video: car accident update tomorrow! at the junkyard in north Hollywood. A bittersweet moment with the Benz! The last farewell. Lol. Tomorrow at 6am #linkinbio #storytime #letscatchup #caraccidentupdate #bittersweet #junkyard #mercedesbenz #mercedesc300 #mymercedesbenz #paalam #farewell #carloandseb #carloandsebyoutubechannel #carloandsebvlog #carloandsebvideos #carloandsebchannel #carloandsebadventure (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZRydHLu32l/?utm_medium=tumblr

[dumdumsun]

Break and Mend

A/N: The beginning of this chapter is a very long flashback, so be prepared for that

Warnings: guns, implications of suicide attempt and a still-born baby, mentions of suicide, murder, blood and death/dying

Word Count: 8552

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Chapter Thirteen: The Lost Sister

Carrie wasn’t sure if she could do this any longer.

For nine months of her life, she had prepared. Half of her home became someone else’s. She bought bigger clothes for herself, she took her vitamins, her medicine. She ate as regularly as she could, she worked through the nausea and the pain to afford what they needed.

She cleared out her guest room and replaced the bed with a crib, she tidied it up with stuffed animals and storytime books. She even painted the walls yellow. All by herself. She had the baby shower that only a couple family members attended, but she was grateful for the things she received.

Carrie was ready. She was ready as ever to be a mother to her dear, beautiful (Y/N). She wanted nothing more than to hold the small child in her arms and cherish her for everything she was. A new best friend, a saving grace, a miracle. Carrie truly felt that she had no purpose in the world until those three pregnancy tests all appeared positive. She had no strength or even desire to keep going until she saw the small blob on the ultrasound that was her child. (Y/N) would be all she needed and more.

She would have everything Carrie didn’t. While (Y/N) wouldn’t have a father, she still had a mother that cared, which was already more than Carrie ever had. She wouldn’t ever have to worry about anything in her life. Carrie would take care of everything. (Y/N) would grow to be the brightest and most beautiful girl in the world, and it would be her doing. Her influence. (Y/N) would be perfect, not because Carrie wanted her to be, but because she had already accepted her child for who she was before she was even born.

Even as a still-born.

She was at least told that her daughter was beautiful. That she had a nose just like hers. That she came out with a head full of hair. That she was born seven pounds, eight ounces. These were all questions Carrie had tearfully asked a nurse after awaking in her hospital bed. Each answer widened the bittersweet smile on her face and broke her heart even further. (Y/N) was perfect.

But now she had no reason to carry on. (Y/N) was supposed to be her reason, and Carrie couldn’t even safely bring her into the world. She wanted to blame Dr Martin Brenner. He had lied to her. He said the experiments wouldn’t harm her unborn child in the slightest. She was told that everything would be fine. Carrie had every right to sue those scientists pigs running Hawkins Lab.

Every right except for the fact that she never hesitated to volunteer. She had found out about her pregnancy two days after volunteering and she called nothing off. She took the risk, even if she was told there was none.

Even if Brenner were telling the truth, how could he have been positively certain that nothing would happen to (Y/N)? He couldn’t. He was a scientist, his life work was testing a hypothesis and proving or disproving a theory. He didn’t always know. And it was Carrie’s fault for getting involved while knowingly carrying a precious life in her womb. At least, that’s what she told herself.

(Y/N) made sure Carrie wasn’t alone. Every day that she felt she was alone, that there was no one else in her world, she would get that morning sickness. She would feel the fluttering sensation of a kick. She would feel a contraction. (Y/N) was all she had and all she cared about. But ever since the birth, Carrie felt empty. There was no longer a child in her body, but it also wasn’t in her arms. She wasn’t sleeping soundly in her crib or playing with the stuffed elephant Carrie had fought a woman in the toy store for. She was alone once again. No one cared for her and she cared for no one else.

“Just… Just give me the blade, Carrie. We can talk this out.”

Carrie shut her eyes and slowly raised the hand that held the blade up to her sunken face, using the back of her wrist to wipe away the streaks of tears lining her face. Her face that used to be more full. “Terry, I don’t want to talk. I’m so done with talking-”

“Carrie! I know where she is!”

Carrie blinked, her face falling into a blank look. “W-What?”

“You just have to trust me.”

Her heart rate increased with a new-found hope. “You know where my baby is?”

“Do you trust me?”

Carrie swallowed. “Yes.”

Terry nodded. “Then give me the blade.” She stretched her hand out again. She released a very deep and slow exhale when Carrie hesitantly gave up the weapon. “Don’t worry, Carrie. We are going to get her back. They’re gonna come home.”

Carrie’s eyes flickered down in thought. “What are we gonna do?”

“I… I have a gun.”

“A gun?”

“I need to find the combination for the safe it’s in, but-”

“Why do you need a gun? W- What are you gonna do, shoot someone?”

Terry’s expression hardened. “If that’s what needs to happen.”

Shaking her head wildly, Carrie stumbled to her feet with Terry cautiously holding her arms to her sides in case she fell again. “Terry, what did you think your plan was? You… You walk into Hawkins Lab, who you just tried to sue, and… you demand your daughter-”

“Our daughters-”

“Our daughters… And they’d… just give them up? Because of one woman with a gun?”

“Carrie, I will obviously have to shoot someone if I need to,” Terry watched as Carrie approached the mess on her bedroom floor and started to organize her many first-aid kits. “But I’m not just gonna go in there like a crazy person. Trust me, I know what I am doing.”

Carrie rubbed her forehead in frustration. “I do trust you, Terry. I just…” She looked up at her with a softened expression. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I just want my baby…”

“I will be fine,” She brought her companion into a warm hug, Carrie immediately reciprocating. She couldn’t remember the last time she was given a real, true hug. “Don’t worry about me. You just wait here and get that room ready for your (Y/N).”

The thought of Terry recklessly storming into that lab with only a single gun hidden in her pocket kept Carrie up all night. She and Terry had never considered each other friends, but she was the only person Carrie had thought of caring about. She couldn’t let her do this, not on her own.

Terry planned to walk into the lab in two days, so Carrie just had to beat her there a day earlier. She had no gun, but that was because she didn’t plan on hurting anyone. It was risky, but not as messy as racking up a body count in a highly-guarded facility. With a costume change and a few modifications to her work badge, she was ready to go.

Arriving at the lab in the morning, Carrie released a slow breath from deep in her lungs. This cursed place was where these monsters were hiding her baby, according to Terry. These bastards were… Well, Carrie wasn’t sure what they were doing with (Y/N). But if it were anything like what she had gone through, then that was plenty more motivation to march right in there and pluck her baby right out of that hellhole.

She was thankful that the guards hadn’t examined her badge. Carrie was crafty, but she was no miracle worker. These men were just checking whether or not people entering the lab even had a badge. With a tight smile to the guards, Carrie began down one of the halls.

“(Y/N)?” She whispered out, peeking into rooms as quietly as she could. “(Y/N), baby. It’s Mama.” She spoke a little louder. “I’m taking you home.”

One room in particular had caught her eyes, for the name plate just outside displayed the name ‘Martin Brenner’. A small smile of triumph graced her features as she strode past a room with a rainbow printed in the doorframe. Checking if the coast was clear, Carrie slipped into the office and shut the door behind her. She was in deep waters now.

Searching his file cabinets was her obvious first try. If there were any information on her daughter stored away in the office, it would be in the filing cabinets. She knew Brenner to be a very meticulous man. He always needed order to function. If not, then he wouldn’t have anything under control in his life. And if he didn’t have order, then what was he? Just a man with a crazed obsession.

Carrie noticed that the files of different people were numbered. The order didn’t start with the number 001, but there was also a file placed between number 010 and 011. Curious, Carrie reached in and picked up the file. “PRIVATE”, it read. She frowned in confusion. If this person, this test subject, was a private subject, then why was it placed with the others? And why interrupt the number order unless…

She opened the folder and visibly swallowed when seeing the photo in the top left corner. “(Y/N)...” She sobbed. There, right in the file, was her sweet baby girl. She knew it had to be her. She had Carrie’s nose, her ears. And she looked oh-so perfect. How could this not be her child? She was so beautiful, and there was no doubt that she was smart and caring and funny and…

Not in this facility. Carrie frowned at the column in her daughter’s file titled ‘LOCATION’ and then beside it read ‘LAB B403’. Her stomach dropped at the knowledge of another lab existing. She couldn’t help but wonder what could be held there, besides (Y/N). She thought she knew what she was getting into here, but this was brand new territory.

After digging for a few more minutes, Carrie was able to find the address to Lab B403. The drive there was long and agonizing. Not a single song on the radio had succeeded in calming her nerves or slowing down her racing thoughts.

She should have looked for Jane. Terry was planning on looking for both their daughters, but Carrie hadn’t even thought of the other child. She told herself that any parent would do the same, that they would be blinded by the need to protect their child. She wasn’t a bad person, and Terry was going to find Jane on her own. Carrie knew she was. That woman went after what was hers, and she would never go down without a fight.

She had no choice but to park a long ways away from the lab. There was no doubt this place would be just as guarded as the first. Maybe even more heavily, considering it was a secretive location. The speed walk to the lab was killing her back and her feet, but she pushed through until she came upon it.

From the outside, it appeared no life even went on within. It looked abandoned, if anything. It was darker, not just because of the fallen night sky, but in a way that was hollow. Carrie had absolutely no good feeling about this. Either the building was truly no longer in use, the address in the files was a cover up, or the entire lab was a cover up.

Taking in a deep, slow, needed breath, Carrie approached the doors. Peeking inside, she saw that the lights were shut off inside, but when she tried the door, it was unlocked. As silently as she could, she pushed the doors open and walked inside. The interior was almost identical to the original lab. Meaning she might just have a good idea of where everything was.

First thing was first, though. She needed to check if anything even worked in this place. Heading to the right, she came up to an elevator. Unlike the original lab, it appeared that the floor she was on was the lowest level. There was no option to be taken under the level she was on. She knew that the original had underground levels where their most important work was done. Could Carrie be in the heart of it all?

Her eyes widened when she realized the elevator was coming down from the fifth floor. It was in use. Thinking quickly, she hid around a corner in case anyone would be getting off on this floor. She heard the ding of the elevator and then the quiet rumbling of the doors opening. Her chest rose and fell irregularly as she waited for someone to speak, for someone to walk out. She now felt foolish for not bringing a gun. It was a smart safety precaution.

When no one walked out, Carrie peeked around the corner to find the elevator empty. She cautiously stepped inside and watched the doors slide closed in front of her. Her eyes scanned the buttons beside the doors indicating the different levels of the lab. Carrie dreaded the thought of checking every single floor of this place and almost groaned out in irritation until she saw it.

The ground level button.

If there was a ground level, why wasn’t it available to move lower than the lobby? If people were to wait on an elevator, they would assume there was nowhere else to go but up. To Carrie, this level was hidden and whoever created it knew that no one was observant enough to pay attention to this button. But she was no fool and she was not one of those people. Her hand shot out and smashed the ground level button.

When the doors opened once again, she was met with an empty hallway. It was dimly lit, the lights flickering as if they were on their last leg. Carrie stepped out and carefully looked around. There were no guards. Odd, she thought. There were always, always guards.

One of the first things Carrie noticed was that there were no other rooms down the hallway before her except for one single door at the end. There was another hall on the left that held many doors, but this one… This one felt different. A pressure weighed in her chest and a pain settled into her temple the further she walked down. She didn’t even realize she was sprinting until the door to the room was suddenly in her face. Her shaky hand stretched out and gently touched the cool metal doorknob.

No backing out now.

The door was silently pushed to a crack before she peeked in. Inside was a figure in a white lab coat. The person had mid-length brown hair, but that was all Carrie could see with their back turned to her. The person was standing before a large glass window, observing whatever was inside. Carrie flicked her eyes upward, finding a camera looking right at her.

“Shit.” She cursed barely above a whisper. Her head ducked in defeat at what she knew she had to do. She promised herself she would never do this again, but this was her daughter’s life she was here for. And she would do anything for (Y/N). Looking up at the camera, she could hear a distant, high-frequency ringing in her ears and the pain in her temple burned brighter and brighter until the red light of the camera dimmed to nothing. Carrie released the tension in her body and held her head in pain.

Absentmindedly, she reached her other hand up and wiped away the blood trailing from her nose.

No more prying eyes.

With that, she very slowly and very silently slipped into the room, taking her time to shut the door without any noise. The woman before the window still hadn’t noticed, which Carrie thanked the stars for. Beside her was a table that seemed to act as a secondary desk. There was a notebook, some pens and pencils, opened envelopes and a letter opener. Safety precaution. Reaching out, she picked up the letter opener and tucked it in the sleeve of her jacket.

Her steps towards the woman were stealthily slow. She knew that the crouch she was in would bite her in the ass once she stood back up, for she was not getting any younger, but she couldn’t risk the woman seeing her reflection in the window. The grip she now had on the letter opener was lethal once she was right behind the scientist. Carrie bit her lip and counted.

3… 2… 1.

At lightning speed, Carrie stood up straight and tightly wrapped an arm around the woman, pressing the letter opener up to her throat. “Where is she.”

“Please,” The woman whimpered. “Please, do- d-don’t kill me.”

“Where is your private subject. Where is my daughter.”

At Carrie’s demands, the woman stiffened. “Carrie (L/N)... Y-Your daughter, sh-she-”

“Bullshit. She’s alive and she’s here. If you won’t tell me where she is, I will kill you and look for her, myself.”

“No! Wait! No!” The woman sobbed out when she felt the letter opener press further against her, threatening to break skin. “It doesn’t have to be this way!”

Carrie shook the woman a bit. “Shut up!” She harshly whispered. “I know you have guards here somewhere. Now listen closely. I’ve disabled every camera in the area. No one would even know what happened to you. Do you know where my daughter is?”

“Y-Yes… Yes, I know where she is,” The woman sniffled. “I-I’ll take you to her, just please… Don’t hurt me.”

“Go.” Carrie let go of her and shoved her forward. The woman slowly turned to Carrie as she wiped the tears from her eyes under her glasses. She had brown eyes light enough to match her hair color perfectly, which complimented her tanned skin. Releasing a breath, the woman turned forward and opened a door that led elsewhere.

Without hesitation, Carrie followed her. The walk was filled with sharp turns and the woman turning on lights to reveal more hallways. Every time Carrie spotted a camera, she turned it off. Her hand was becoming stained in the blood she was continuously wiping away.

“Who are you?” Carrie asked. “And why are you the only one here?”

“I’m not,” The woman looked at Carrie through the corner of her eyes. “There are guards, but they aren’t supposed to disrupt my work. Guess… we should have them stationed outside of the room.”

The woman’s small laugh died down at the glare Carrie sent her way. “Who are you.” She demanded this time.

“Dr Sonia Hill. I-I was appointed the private subject’s observer.”

“Is she the only one here? The only subject?”

Sonia smiled fondly. “There are many things about your daughter you don’t know about. She’s very extraordinary. Having the entire team know about her could put our work in jeopardy. It could put her in jeopardy. So, we have her stationed in this sister location.”

Carrie gulped. “I-Is she… Is she perfect?”

Sonia’s smile widened. “I would say so, yes.”

The two sharply turned a corner and walked through a door. Inside was a room much like the one they had just left. Carrie could have accused Sonia of walking her in a circle, but she noticed that the camera in the room was positioned in a different place. Instead of it watching the door, it was watching the glass window. After disabling the camera, Carrie walked closer to the window. Sonia followed her with a sad smile as she watched Carrie lay eyes upon her daughter for the first time.

She was perfect. She sat at a small table, focusing intently on the drawing she was coloring with crayons. Carrie tearfully grinned and cooed at her daughter’s adorable little (s/c) hands maneuvering the crayons, her cute little socked feet that kicked under the table, her beautiful little face that concentrated on the task at hand. She was more than Carrie could have imagined.

“(Y/N)...” Carrie cried as she pressed a hand to the glass. “My baby.”

Sonia stepped closer to her. “(Y/N)... That was what you were going to name her?”

“Yeah.” She nodded without tearing her eyes away from her child.

“Her favorite color is yellow,” Sonia’s attention turned to the little girl as well. “She likes coloring books more than drawing her own art. Recently, she’s taken a liking to puzzles, preferably ones with more than one hundred pieces. She does the cutest little dance whenever she is fed, she is fascinated with bandaids and… She has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.”

Carrie frowned and turned to Sonia. She was staring at (Y/N) with so much warmth, so delicate. She could have sworn it was love. This doctor loved her daughter as if she were her own. Just as much as Carrie did. A part of her resented this woman for stealing her daughter from her, for building a bond and a love with her. But another part of her couldn’t blame Sonia. (Y/N) sounded like the perfect child.

“There can be an arrangement,” Sonia looked back at Carrie again, her face dropped into a grave expression. “For you to see your daughter.”

Sonia didn’t know why she was doing this. It could get her killed if anyone were to find out. This could get the private subject killed. But she truly felt for Carrie. Sonia wouldn’t know what to do with herself if anything were to happen to this child. There was no doubt that Carrie felt the same way, maybe even stronger.

“What?” Carrie was now staring at her in confusion.

“There is another entrance to this level of the lab. You can sneak in during security rotation. They’ll never notice you. But it would have to be on certain days. Dr Brenner visits twice a week for updates on the priv- on (Y/N). You cannot be here on those days. It could put all three of us in danger if he, or anyone for that matter, were to find out.”

Carrie slowly nodded in understanding.

“I-In fact…” Sonia nervously continued. “I-It would be wise of you to… cease contact with everyone in your life.”

“What?” Carrie widened her eyes. Sonia was quick to respond.

“I know. I know. Believe me, I do. But… we can’t risk it at all. A-And I’m deeply sorry, but… I know you’re her mother, but if you plan to put her in any danger… I will stop you.”

At that, the two of them fell into a stare-down. Carrie believed every single word of Sonia. The doctor was no longer threatened by the measly letter opener still in Carrie’s hand. In fact, she wasn’t afraid of anything besides the thought of Brenner catching them and harming (Y/N). And Carrie could tell in the way Sonia looked at her. It was a mother’s wrath. It was protective.

Carrie had no one. Sure, she had a few cousins and an aunt who supported her pregnancy, and they did call to check in every now and then, but they weren’t as important to her. No, their significance in her life couldn’t have even competed with (Y/N). Her miracle, her everything. Her life. If cutting them off would aid in the success of this arrangement, then she would snip their thread of communication in a heartbeat with the letter opener in her hand.

Her eyes flicked down to the hand Sonia held out. “Do we have a deal, Ms (L/N)?”

Carrie glanced at her daughter, who was now staring at her in curiosity with those big (e/c) eyes. She waved at the child, who shyly returned the greeting. God, she was so perfect. With a smile, Carrie turned back to Sonia and firmly shook her hand.

“Deal.”

-------------------------------------------------

“Suicide?”

Doc shook her head as she continued to flip through Carrie’s file that El had presented her with. The two were now taking public transportation to the girl in the rainbow room, as El had explained. She had successfully located the girl while Doc had been reading her mother’s information, but now Doc had broken the silence between them.

“I-I just don’t get it…” She sighed and closed the file defeatedly. Her saddened tone had El opening her eyes and staring at her in curiosity.

“What is… Sue-iss-eyed?”

Doc blinked up at her in shock, forgetting that El didn’t have the most extensive vocabulary. “Suicide. It’s when someone dies, but… they do it to themselves.”

El tilted her head. “Why?”

“There’s lots of reasons. I-It depends on the person, I guess. But the thing is that people who do it or want to do it, they feel alone. Completely alone. They’re broken and they feel like nothing can fix it. They don’t want to live anymore. So…”

She closed her eyes in exhaustion. Doc had never been suicidal, but for the past year, there had been times when she felt she deserved to be dead. She had taken so many lives in a matter of seconds, and she got to move on. Yes, the bad men were going to take her away, but nothing in her mind could have justified the slaughter she committed.

There were many, many times when Doc felt she was broken beyond repair, like she had no chance of redemption and no chance of ever going back to the way she was. There were times where she felt completely alone.

Ever since El had disappeared, she couldn’t bear to face her friends, to face Mike. She couldn’t tell her parents the truth of what she had been through. She couldn’t tell Sheriece and Brenda, the two people she wanted to tell the most. She could never be her true self around the people she loved. And now that she had finally revealed herself to Mike and to the Party, she only felt like a monster around them. Even more of an outcast.

But with El back in her life, she didn’t have to feel that way. She didn’t have to hide a single thing from her because El was the one person who could understand her. Doc could feel her spirits lifting when El clasped her hand with hers, a small smile on her face. Doc reciprocated, but not for long before another thought crossed her mind and left her lips. “Why would she commit suicide if I was here? If she had a daughter? She was there at the lab for as long as I can remember. I-I know that’s not saying much, but…”

“Maybe something happened,” El whispered. “They told Mama I was dead. Hopper told me Mama was dead.”

She still couldn’t believe that El had been right under her nose this entire time, living with Hopper in a cabin in the middle of the woods. A part of her was angry at the Chief for keeping this information from her. Her, of all people. But another part of her knew that he had no choice.

It was dangerous for either of the girls to be around each other at that time. They were both being hunted and Karen and Ted could only be a shield for Doc for so long. If the bad men could fake Will’s corpse and turn Terry’s brain to mush without a question from anyone, it was only a matter of time before they could take Doc away from her family.

Perhaps it was a good thing that she ran away. She couldn’t be a burden to her family or friends. If she and El were gone, no one in Hawkins would be under the bad men’s watch. But that didn’t mean Will wasn’t still in trouble. That was the only thing keeping Doc from making the foolish decision of never returning. If this girl from the rainbow room had answers to Doc’s many questions, she could possibly use them to go back to Hawkins and help Will. Then she would figure out what she wanted from there.

The hustle and bustle of the city was a culture shock for El. She had never been in such a busy environment with so many people she didn’t know. All her life, she had been isolated and kept a secret, but now she was out and in the open.

The city wasn’t too familiar to Doc. The majority of her life had been in a small town with only the countryside and some beaches as occasional family vacations. She had never been in a city like this before, and certainly not without Karen or Ted at her side. It would have frightened them both, but they had each other for comfort and safety.

As the two admired what was probably one of the tallest buildings they had ever seen, a man rudely shoved into El, which forced her to stumble into Doc. The two quickly stabled themselves and turned around to face the man, who was throwing a dirty look over his shoulder. “Watch it.”

“Mouth breather.” The girls spoke simultaneously. They bursted out into giggles as El grabbed Doc by the hand and rushed away before the man could react. They found that the farther they walked the city, the smaller the population on the sidewalks were and the more run-down the buildings became.

As the two turned into an alleyway, they stiffened at the people that littered the area. The walls were graffitied all over, dirtied people lounged against each other or cozied up beside barrels of fire for warmth. The looks the girls were getting didn’t exactly make them feel any less anxious. Especially not from the man who was creeping up to them, his body odor wafting through the alcohol-cigarette-smoke air.

“They’re dead.” He laughed hysterically. “They’re all dead! They’re all dead!”

Doc could feel El shudder, so she wrapped an arm protectively around her. “Just ignore him. It’s alright.” She whispered. El nodded and continued forward, making sure to take deep breaths as she quickened her pace. It wasn’t long before the two came upon an abandoned warehouse. The door was eerily lit by a light above it, the small window displaying a flickering light from the inside.

“Is this the place?” Doc asked when El had stopped in her tracks. “Is this… where she is?”

“Yes.” She whispered.

The door quietly creaked as they entered. They could hear distant voices, but whoever they belonged to hadn’t yet noticed them. The inside of the warehouse was decorated in barrels, dim lighting and graffiti. But in the center of the room was a group of four huddled around a barrel of fire, happily talking amongst each other. They were all dressed in loose, ripped and layered clothing that had a bit of an edge to their style.

“Hello?” El called out. The conversation ended as they all turned to the young girls. A man with a large orange mohawk smirked as he slowly rounded the barrel.

“Well, well… What do we have here?” He and the others moved from their spots to menacingly approach the girls.

“What’s she wearing?” A brown-skinned woman with a large afro scoffed and pointed at El. “What are those, overalls?”

She laughed as another girl with a makeshift bow loosely tied in her wild hair locked her eyes on Doc. “And look at this one with the sunflowers. There aren’t any cows to milk here, girls. Go on back to the farm now.”

“What’s with the skates, Speedy Gonzales?” The mohawk man chuckled, receiving a glare from Doc.

“We’re looking for our sister.” El quietly spoke up as Mohawk circled them.

“Awe…” He faked a pout. “Shirley Temple lost her sister. So sad. What about you, Speedy?”

Doc reared back when she saw his finger about to poke her. “Don’t touch me!”

Mohawk whistled and held his hands up as Afro and Crazy Hair laughed aloud at the young girl’s hostility. El gently held her sister’s hand and turned her attention back to the group. “I saw her. Here.”

As she began to reach into her messenger bag, the last of the four, a burly dark-skinned man quickly straightened his posture and dropped his arms from their crossed position over his chest. “Uh-uh. Hands out of pocket. Slow.”

El did as she was told and pulled a piece of paper from the bag very slowly, holding it out to them. Mohawk snatched it out of her hand immediately. “Give me that shit.” He hissed. As his eyes scanned the photo of the young Indian girl, his face slowly dropped. His eyes moved up to the two as Afro took the photo from him.

“Is that Kali?”

“Kali?” They whispered in curiosity.

“How did you find us?” Mohawk stepped closer. “Who else knows you’re here?”

“No one.” El answered.

He shrugged. “So, what then? Poof! You just show up like magic with that picture?”

“Stay calm,” Afro spoke up. “They’re just kids.”

“Kids who could get us all killed!” He barked before brandishing a knife. At this, Doc instantly put an arm in front of El. “If I have to ask again, Shirley, you and Speedy here’ll start to lose things. Starting with those pretty little locks of yours. Yeah?”

“Come on, Axe. Put down the knife.”

“How did you find us?!”

El stared him in the eyes even as he backed the girls up. “I saw her.”

He grabbed a tight hold of her arm and angled the knife closer. “That’s not an answer!”

“Back off!” Doc snapped. “Get your hand off of her!”

“Shut it, Speedy, before I cut that tongue right out of your mouth!”

Suddenly, Mohawk’s eyes fearfully widened as he stared at his hand. “Jesus. Jesus Christ!” He threw the knife to the ground and yelped as he swiped at his clothes and hair, desperately moving around as he did so. “Get off! Shit! Shit!”

Everyone moved out of his way as they stared in confusion, for there was nothing on him. Nothing that they could see, anyway.

“You’re a terrible dancer, Axel.”

They all looked to the stairs at the sound of a British accent. Leaning against the railing was a girl. She had to have been older than Doc and El by a few years. She had brown skin, the side of her head was shaved, the other side was her dark hair dyed purple. She was dressed like the other four of the group. Mohawk, or rather Axel, glared at her as she descended the stairs to meet them on the floor.

“I told you, stay out of my head!” He slapped the side of his head.

“So, we’re threatening little girls now, are we?”

“They know about you.”

“They had this.” Crazy Hair handed the photo to the girl, who looked up at the two after examining it.

“Where did you get this?”

El took the photo back and glanced at Doc, who was having a stare-down with Axel. She returned her gaze back to who she assumed was Kali. “Mama.”

“Your mother gave this to you?”

“In her dream circle.”

Axel broke his glare from Doc and rubbed the back of his neck as he moved toward his knife. “Dream circle. I think she’s a schizo or something.”

“Said they’re looking for their sister.” Afro told Kali.

“Yeah. Like I said, schizo.”

Just as Axel bent down to pick up his knife, it flew from the ground and into El’s hand. The room was filled with stunned silence as El folded the pocket knife with a confidence that surprised Doc. “I saw you,” She handed Kali the knife. “In the rainbow room.”

Kali walked around El, who turned her body in order to always be facing her. “What is your name?”

“Jane.”

Doc blinked and furrowed her brows. She knew that Terry Ives had given her daughter that name at birth, but El had never told her that she identified with it now. At her response, Kali hesitated before reaching out and pulling back El’s sleeve to reveal her number on her wrist. El gently grabbed Kali’s wrist and held it next to hers, revealing an ‘008’. The two gazed at each other in wonder.

“Sister.” El trembled.

“Sister.” Kali whispered.

The two embraced each other in a heart-warming hug. Doc felt a tear build up in one of her eyes and she wiped it away. The sight of El reconnecting with Kali was beautiful to her, but it also broke her heart. She remembered what it felt like to find out she wasn’t alone. When she had woken up on the couch in her basement with El staring at her with a warmth in her expression was such a liberating feeling. She should have found a bright side for herself in this, but she was reminded that these two shared somewhat of a life in the lab together. Doc was alone. Even when she found someone else like her, she was still alone in some way.

“And you? What was your number?”

Doc looked up to see that Kali and El had detached and were now staring at her. She shifted and cleared her throat.

“Uh, no number,” She shook her head. “They just called me Private…”

Kali rapidly blinked as a small smile of hope graced her features. “The Private Experiment…”

Doc choked on a sob as she slowly approached her, her heart piecing itself together again. “Y-You know who I am…?”

“(Y/N) (L/N). Daughter of Carrie (L/N),” Her hands came up to gently caress her face. “I have wanted to meet you for so long… sister.”

(Y/N) grinned as Jane came up to them. Kali pulled the two of them into a hug that they both reciprocated immediately. After going through an entire year in solitude, (Y/N) had finally gotten her sister back, but she also found another. Another person to understand her. Another person to connect with on a level no one else in her life could. Another piece of a family that could be.

-------------------------------------------------

The honking of the traffic below filled the very brief silence between the three superpowered sisters. Kali had taken Jane and (Y/N) to the roof of the warehouse to speak with them. (Y/N) told her short story of what she could remember of her past, how she was adopted, how she hid her powers for so long, how she and Jane found each other, how she had been suffering from nightmares and visions for so long without telling anyone.

She had to admit, it felt amazing to get all of it off her chest. Especially to someone who wouldn’t pity her, but to someone who would understand wholeheartedly. The smile Kali had given her forced tears to (Y/N)’s eyes, which she blinked away before they could fall. Afterwards, Jane gave her entire story about her time in the lab, how she escaped, how she met (Y/N) and her friends, saving them, the Upside Down, Hopper, her mother. All of it. Jane’s story seemed to be a bit more for Kali to process, which sent her into the aforementioned silence.

“And this memory your mother shared… that is your only memory of me?” She asked.

“Yes.” Jane answered.

“And how long have you been with this policeman?”

“Three hundred and twenty-seven days.”

“And this policeman, he thinks he can work out some sort of deal with these men to set you free?”

“Yes,” Jane nodded. “He says soon.”

“He’s naive, then,” Kali frowned, her eyes moving between the two girls. “We’ll always be monsters to them. Do you understand?”

Jane nodded as (Y/N)’s gaze flickered away hesitantly. “Always…?” She whispered. Kali placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her nod.

“Always… Now, let me guess. Your adoptive siblings are the only ones in your household who know about your gifts?” Her hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder tightened when she nodded. “Meaning you have to hide your gifts from your adoptive parents?”

“Yes, but… they’re dangerous.”

“That is not true,” Kali turned back to Jane. “Does your policeman stop you from using your gifts?”

Jane nodded. Kali sighed and reached her hands out, taking one of the girls’ hands in each of them. “What you can do is incredible. The both of you. No matter what anyone thinks or says. It makes you very special.”

“Wait,” Jane furrowed her brows. “Do you have a gift?”

“Different. I can make people see, or not see, whatever I choose.”

(Y/N) smirked. “So, that’s what was wrong with the mohawk guy?”

Kali chuckled. “Axel is not so fond of spiders, so…”

“You made him see spiders?” Jane widened her eyes. Kali smiled with a nod, the two girls smiling right back.

“But it doesn’t have to be scary,” She opened her hand to reveal a butterfly. Its color changed from blue to green to pink to yellow and so on. (Y/N) and Jane watched in amazement as it flew out of Kali’s hand and into the air above them. “This butterfly, it isn’t real. I’ve just convinced your mind it is. Think of it as a kind of magic.”

Jane reached up to swipe at it, but it moved away. Kali smiled and snatched the butterfly in her hand. (Y/N) flinched back a bit, wondering if she had hurt it. But when Kali opened her hand again, there was nothing in her gloved palm. Jane narrowed her eyes at her.

“Are you real?”

“Yes, I’m real.”

With a small smirk, Jane reached her index finger out and poked Kali in the face. The three of them chuckled when Kali moved her hand away, but Jane kept poking her. She then turned to (Y/N) and poked her in the face as well. This led to a poke fest between the three, their quiet giggles floating through the air.

When their laughter died down and their hands fell back into their laps, (Y/N) felt a frown pulling at her face as she stared down at her knees. “I… I wish my gift could be beautiful. I’ve… killed people,” She closed her eyes, the corpses and the blood flashing through her mind. “I killed them horribly.”

Kali tilted her head at her sister. “You said they were going to take you and Jane away. You saved your brother and your friends. You saved Jane. That is the beautiful part,” (Y/N) opened her eyes, meeting Kali’s stare. “If your gift cannot heal directly, you must find a way for it to heal. By taking away what is causing the pain. That is the beauty in your gift. You were just forced to think otherwise because you were always kept a secret.”

(Y/N) inhaled deeply, afraid to ask what she had been wondering her whole life. She wasn’t certain if she was afraid of the answer, or because Kali might not have one. “Kali… Why was I in a different lab? Why do I have no memories of you or Jane?”

Kali shook her head and released a breath. “I have to be honest with you, (Y/N), your story was always one that horrified me. But it had nothing to do with you,” She gently took both her hands into hers and stared her in the eyes. “An orderly at the lab told me your story. I don’t know why, but he did… I don’t want to scare you, (Y/N), but… when you were born, you killed many people. Many. He said your cries were enough to shatter glass. Several people that helped deliver you bled from their eyes and ears before they all collapsed dead.”

(Y/N)’s breath hitched as she blinked rapidly.

“They tried to keep you in the same lab as the rest of us, but you threw temper tantrums on a daily basis and they only got stronger by the day. It caused distress to the other children. Dr Brenner was afraid you would hurt them, too. So, you were transferred to another facility. Not all of the other doctors knew of you, not all the guards. Only a select few that were involved in the safety and progress of your gifts. Because Brenner was busy with us, you were given a private observer who stayed with you at all times. Her name was Dr Hill.”

“Sonia…”

“Yes, that’s right,” Kali’s hands tightened on (Y/N)’s as she prepared herself to continue the story. “They didn’t know how, they didn’t know when it started, but they found out that Dr Hill and your mother, Carrie, worked out an arrangement for you to see your mother. So, that you two may have a relationship with each other. Guards stormed the building and your mother was killed on sight.”

The young girl covered her mouth with one hand as a shudder left her lips.

“Dr Hill took you and fled the building. It took a few hours, but when the men found her, you were nowhere to be found… They killed Dr Hill right there.”

Jane couldn’t stand to see her sister this way, her body shaking with the sobs she was holding in. She placed a hand on her back and gently rubbed up and down her spine in comfort. (Y/N) removed her hand from her face and rid herself of the tears Kali hadn’t yet wiped away. “B-But Carrie’s file said she committed suicide…”

“According to the orderly, it was very easy to cover up your mother’s death. For some reason, she had ceased contact with everyone in her life. When you were first born and taken away, Carrie was told you had died at birth, just as they told Jane’s mother. A depressed mother shutting down after the death of her newborn child… there wasn’t much question as to why she would commit suicide… That is all I know of the situation. I’m truly sorry, (Y/N).”

A few moments went by of (Y/N) setting her sobs free and Kali and Jane silently comforting her. She thought that learning more about her past would lift a weight from her, but she was feeling just as crushed as ever. Sonia and Carrie, the two people she wanted to find, were dead. All because they wanted to keep her safe.

She supposed she had them to thank for the life she found herself with the Wheelers. A safe home with a loving family, but she couldn’t help but wonder what life she could’ve had if Carrie had taken her away from that lab. (Y/N) didn’t find herself important enough to die for. She had killed people at birth, she was a danger more than she thought before. She wished Carrie and Sonia hadn’t sacrificed themselves for her.

She looked up when she felt a hand on her head, meeting Kali’s soft gaze. She held (Y/N)’s face in her hands and used her thumbs to wipe her tears away. “I have always wanted to find you, (Y/N). I knew you couldn’t have been dead, that you were hiding. That you just needed the right person to find you. I’m sorry I wasn’t that person. But you’re here now. With people who care.”

Through her tears, (Y/N) smiled up at Kali before the three of them embraced.

After their talk on the roof, she led the girls to her room. They were told that they could sleep in her room for the night. So, the two were sitting side-by-side on the edge of Kali’s bed as she stared at them with tears brimming her eyes. Jane and (Y/N) gratefully accepted the blanket Kali had given each of them before she slowly sat down in a chair in front of the bed, taking a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” El asked.

“Nothing is wrong,” She shook her head. “I just feel… whole… now. Like… a piece of me was missing, and now it’s not. Does that make sense?”

They nodded.

“Jane, I think your mother sent you two here for a reason. I think she somehow knew that the three of us belong together. I think this is your home.”

“Home…” Jane whispered, but (Y/N) didn’t know how to feel.

For so long, she called Hawkins her home, she called Mike her home. But Kali was different. She knew that with Kali, there would never be arguments like the last one she had with Mike. There would be no more pity, no more secrets, no more loneliness. For the past year, (Y/N) felt like she didn’t belong anywhere. But here she was now with her true sisters. Not by blood, but by past trauma and by broken souls. Just like Kali, (Y/N) felt a piece of her had inserted itself into her heart the moment she had been called ‘sister’.

So, maybe this wasn’t a nice and quiet cul-de-sac, so these people didn’t wear the cleanest clothes, but maybe it could be.

“Home.” She smiled.

Kali left the two to sleep not too long after. She descended the stairs to meet her friends on the main floor. The four of them were going about their business with knife-throwing and playing cards. When Axel caught sight of her, he smirked. “How’s your little farmgirl sisters? You tuck them in real tight?”

Afro left the window she had been sitting by and joined her friends. “Yeah, what about a lullaby? Did you sing her one of those-”

“Ole MacDonald had a farm.” Crazy Hair sang. Afro laughed before the rest of them, minus Kali, joined in the singing.

“E-I-E-I-O! And on his farm he had a cow-”

“They found me with only this.” Kali slammed the photo of her onto the table.

“What’s that mean?” Afro shrugged.

“It means Jane can find people without moving. With nothing but an image.”

Axel shared a look with Afro before he rolled his eyes. “You telling me Shirley’s a human radar detector or some shit?”

“And (Y/N) is a killing machine.”

“Come on. No way.”

Kali straightened her posture. “We’ll find out soon enough. I want to do one. Tomorrow.”

“You serious, Kal?”

“We’re way too hot right now.” Afro protested.

“Paranoid.” Crazy Hair sang.

“Realistic,” She shot back. “You don’t kill their men and expect them to look the other way. If they find us, they will unleash hell.”

“So, we give into fear?” Kali raised her brows, knowing she succeeded when her friends sagged their shoulders. “They’re in pain. They need this. We go out tomorrow.”

She picked up her photo and left the room. Axel watched her go with a shake of his head, clenching his knife in his hand tight. “Swear to god, Shirley and Speedy’s gonna get us all killed.” He growled, sending the knife forward and wedging it into the board on the other side of the room.

—————————————

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