#this is WHY THEY NEED TO BECOME A THROUPLE FOR TRUE

[yashley]

imogen: FLY

laudna: FEATHER FALL

fearne: SHOEBILL

[about-faces]

Last night, I was once again struggling to actually write smut for a Harvey/Bruce/Gilda fic, when I noticed a very timely new guest comment on my Gilda fic, Bust. It was the first truly critical response I’ve gotten so far, and while that sort of thing would normally send me into a depressive tizzy, I actually found it really interesting!

So instead of actually writing the ship, as I should have been, I wanted to take this opportunity to think about just why the heck I shipped them in the first place.

Here’s how I responded, with added scans to hopefully better illustrate my point, plus some additions that occurred to me upon drafting this post:

I’m actually glad you raised this point, because I would have felt the exact same as you just a few years ago!

I’m gray-asexual, and I used to be a bit bothered by the rise of Bruce/Harvey shippers, because it was their canonical platonic FRIENDSHIP that mattered so much to me. I gradually warmed up to the shippers, because 1.) I realized I was ace and they probably weren’t, and 2.) they at least understood the importance of Bruce and Harvey’s bond, which is more than I can say for LOTS of official DC media.

Still, something bugged me about the ship, and I realized what it was: the lack of Gilda from the equation. She’s always been deeply important to me, especially her scant older appearances, and erasing her for a Bruce/Harvey ship (even one I’d come to appreciate) didn’t sit right with me.

But like you said, it’s not canon, and I’ve always been deeply invested in canon, even the stuff that’s frustrating and contradictory. So yeah, the throuple would have bugged me too.

Except! It all depends on WHICH canon you’re talking about!

So over the past 15 years, I’ve been obsessed with tracking down the entirety of the obscure, forgotten Batman newspaper comic strip from 1989-1991. I’ve posted the entire thing at @batman-daily, and I strongly encourage you to check it out. A couple years ago, I reread it and noticed something really interesting: the remarkable relationship between Bruce, Harvey, and the latter’s wife, Alice, who is Gilda in every way but name. They are all mutual friends, with Alice even going to visit Bruce alone to help/bully him to take care of himself.

It all reads like a perfect long-game setup for a love triangle, or for Harvey—having become Two-Face—to go after his loved ones in a jealous rage, like he did in Paul Dini’s “Two-Timer,” a story which notably showed that Grace had feelings for Bruce.

With that in mind, consider the final story arc of the newspaper strip, wherein Bruce acknowledges his OWN feelings for Alice and PASSIONATELY KISSES HER, all in a hilariously roundabout way to save her marriage to Harvey! It makes sense in context and is frankly hilarious.

And it works! Because Harvey isn’t jealous! The love triangle conflict you expect NEVER HAPPENS! Because they all love one another! And that love saves Harvey in the very end!

Was it explicitly a throuple? No, but nor have Bruce and Harvey ever canonically touched dicks. And yet the love between Bruce and Harvey in canon is true and real enough that shippers who want to make it sexual are perfectly allowed to do so, because it’s the love that matters. At least, for those of us who aren’t afraid to acknowledge the love between men, platonic or otherwise. And that love is rooted in canon.

So consider this: the mutual three-way-love between Bruce, Harvey, and Alice/Gilda is ALSO canon. That comic strip has been officially accepted as DC multiverse canon in the “Crisis on Infinite Earths: Absolute Edition,” which designated it as Earth-1289.

Furthermore, there’s something else you need to consider: the fact that Harvey HAS been used in love triangles against Bruce in several stories in recent decades. I already mentioned “Two-Timer,” but there’s also Nolan’s “The Dark Knight,” the animated “Gotham By Gaslight” film, and the Telltale game. In various ways, these stories serve to throw a wedge in the friendship between Bruce (the protagonist, whose story serves him) and Harvey (the guy who is going to lose it all, the woman included). I hate that shit. I hate the contrived drama that’s meant to stir up needless added conflict between two men who love each other.

And then, on the other hand, you have Mariko Tamaki’s Gilda story from “Batman: Black and White.” Tamaki depicted Harvey and Gilda being in a distant, loveless marriage, where even on their wedding day, he was constantly ignoring her in favor of work. The only person who could actually get his attention was Bruce.

At the time, this felt an awful lot like that problem I was talking about with the Bruce/Harvey shippers: raising up the gay ship while throwing the woman under the bus. In this case, for the purpose of doing an avenging girlboss take on Gilda. I hated that too, especially when Tamaki didn’t even follow through with the gay subtext in her next, miserable Two-Face comic.

You know that meme of a bride, groom, and best man all kissing one another, while the bride flips off the cameraman in the end? @whipbogard redrew the Tamaki wedding scene as that meme, right around the time I reread the comic strip. And suddenly, everything clicked into place for me.

After a lifetime of never, ever having any serious fandom ships, I fell in love with the idea of Bruce/Harvey/Gilda. Take what the comic strip did and bring it into the mainstream canon I love to spite the canon I hate.

In those great old Gilda stories, she saw through Harvey’s bullshit and knew how to reach him, however temporarily. She could do the same with Bruce. She’d be a valuable third voice for the ongoing toxic relationship between Bruce and Harvey, the one who could love them both while also getting to be frustrated with how fucking stupid and fucked-up both these men are.

Before she was reduced to a ride-or-die killer housewife in "The Long Halloween" (which, I'll grant you, has its own appeal), classic Gilda would actually stand up to Harvey and tell him to cut out his shit or else. I love the idea that she can also see right through Bruce, understanding how very alike he and Harvey are, even if they don't want to admit it.

Writing Gilda this way speaks to me as a longtime fan of both men, while also wanting to try to develop her place, as a woman stuck in the middle of their decades' worth of conflict and angst. She sees these men at their best, worst, and most pathetic/ridiculous, and while she's got the nerve to stand up for herself and call them out as needed, she still loves them nonetheless. For me, Gilda has become the voice for fans just like me, who are helpless to stop Batman and Two-Face from continuing the cycle of violent, toxic friendship, but still loving them nonetheless, and always hoping for the best.

So, at this point, let’s say I’ve at least managed to make you grudgingly accept my reasoning for the relationship. Even if that’s true, I’m gonna guess that the mention of a threesome felt like it came out of left field. I can’t argue with that. I wanted to actually write that as its own smutfic but, being ace, I struggle with that. But I really liked the idea, and as I was writing this, it just really wanted to be mentioned, so I included it.

The response has been positive (until now), which indicated to me that I had been successful in introducing Gilda as a viable third into a slice of fandom which had only shipped Bruce and Harvey. This is fanfic, after all, such things are expected, even encouraged, so I leaned into it.

Now, if I were ever (un?)fortunate enough to write for DC, officially? I doubt I’d have the nerve to go that far. But I’d still want to at least embrace the polycule-coded relationship between those three that we saw in the newspaper comic strip. I think it adds a whole new, refreshing spin on their ongoing dynamics, while being rooted in relationships that were established all the way back in 1942 by Bill Finger.

Finger’s story, at its heart, was all about how love can save a life. How love is the only way to defeat the villain. For Harvey Kent’s part, Gilda’s love was every bit as important as Batman’s unwillingness to give up on his friend. So I’m just taking it one step further within the freedom allowed me by fanfic.

Sorry for the length of the reply, but as you can see, I only came to this shit after several decades of thinking about 80+ years of official material. I hope I have at least been able to lessen your feelings of being jarred out of a story you otherwise seemed to appreciate. For my part, I hope to further develop the potential of this fucked-up polycule in future stories, and maybe—just maybe—I’ll be able to get you on board too. Hope to see you then!

(art by ofossart)

[acescorazon]

Crocodile x Mihawk x Buggy fic idea for you: Mihawk and Crocodile are stunned when they each discover both Yoru and Crocodile's gold hook missing. The both of them immediately suspect that Buggy did something. Pissed six ways to Hell they go looking for their "fearless leader". They find him in one of the workshops and all anger is replaced with astonishment when they find Buggy polishing Yoru to a radiant shine, while Crocodile's hook hand is already gleaming like it's been kissed by the sun itself. When they get closer, Mihawk is quietly stunned to see that Buggy has gone so far as to rewrap the hilt of the strongest blade in brand new gleaming white leather. Buggy does his best to be non-chalant as he explains that he simply wants his " Lieutenants" looking their best as he hands Crocodile his hook and assures Mihawk he's almost done polishing Yoru. The gesture actually shifts Mihawk and Crocodile's attitude towards Buggy after that. Before he knows it, Buggy is the one getting stunned when he winds up with the world's strongest swordsman and the former but still formidable leader of Baroque Works declaring that they are both in love with him and mean belong to him just as much as he does to them. Cue the absolute chaos that somehow becomes a genuinely loving throuple and a true for to be reckoned with in the pirate world.

IK WE'VE ALREADY TALKED BUT HI AGAIN POOKIE LOL. Anyways this is going to be another one of the requests i turn into a little series, if you didn't see the post where i went into more details click here. (That's if you want to, you don't have to LOL.) ALSO PT2 this is going to be the series i was talking about where i'm going to try and experiment with alternating POVS as mentioned here.

Anyways i hope everything goes well, and i'm going to debut the first three chapters before we get into anything serious, (but again, as mentioned before, i want everyone's feed back please so i know this is something yall might want again in the future. ((OR MIGHT NOT LOL) ) ) I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS THO POOKIE AND ILY MUAHHHHH.

AWYWHOREEEEEE LETS GET IT.

Title: Buggy's guide to bagging boyfriends

Ch: 1/?

Rating: PG-ish for now ig (But let's talk later about it.)

Word count: 2835

Chapter except:

The room fills with tension as the two other members of Cross Guild glare at him, and Crocodile is the first to speak up, “Where’s my damn hook?!” He asks, and even though it's first thing in the morning, his voice is still, loud, deep, and intimidating, and he doesn’t sound like he’s in a good mood… but, then again, Buggy doesn’t think he ever is. Mihawk follows suit, asking his own question afterwards in a significantly quieter, yet equally as intimidating voice, “...And why do you have my sword?”

Well, so much for the surprise...

It’s not like Buggy’s a workaholic or anything like that, he’s far from it actually. It’s just that even after he’s done doing his duties for the day, he often finds it hard to shut his brain off at night. He often tosses and turns in his bed, thinking about what he has to do in the morning or for the week, and sometimes finds himself wanting to get a head start on things. Tonight, he finds himself in another one of those situations, unable to sleep no matter how hard he tries because he keeps on thinking about Cross Guild and all that he has to do.

He has to have new weapons and medical supplies ordered, and he also has new men to welcome into the crew, each of whom he has to find a job for because Mihawk and Crocodile, while skilled in many things, aren’t big fans of doing the more simple tasks; like assigning their men jobs or giving them pep talks, or sending their families money after they’ve made an enemy out of themselves for attacking the marines. Damn, he has more bounties that need to be made too, and he has old ones that need to be taken off the market.

There’s so much to do, and part of him wants to go to sleep, but another part of him also wants to get back up and get right back to work again. It’s weird. 

Two, three, and then four o'clock, quickly passes him by as he continues to think about all that he has to do. He feels full of energy right now despite the fact that prior to lying down, he felt exhausted. He kept yawning and could barely keep his eyes open, but now, as he lies in his bed, it seems like he can’t fall asleep no matter how hard he tries. It seems like his previous exhaustion was just a sick prank his brain played on him. Thanks, brain. He continues to think about Cross Guild, he wasn’t exactly serious about it before. He was more or less just in it because he needed to repay his debt to Crocodile, but now… Well, he can’t say it’s the worst thing in the world. 

It has its cons of course: Mihawk and Crocodile are always bullying him, plus they make him run around like a chicken with its head cut off, doing what could only be considered more of a manager role than the big boss role, but Buggy kind of enjoys it actually. It makes the days go by a little quicker because he has so many things to do and men to look after these days, and he thinks his responsibilities are only going to grow in the future. 

His thoughts shift slightly, and he goes from thinking about all the things he needs to do to thinking about his ‘subordinates’ and his relationship with them. Buggy’s always had a rather rocky relationship with Mihawk and Crocodile but…It’s not like he would be opposed to being their friend or anything like that, the two just never seemed interested in anything other than a work relationship (or beating him up.) But maybe if Buggy actually put in an effort to be their friend, they could fix things and this Cross Guild thing could really kick ass! Perhaps if he did something nice for them, they’d stop hating him and see that Buggy’s not that bad of a guy after all. 

Should he do that? 

He finds himself wondering if he should just give this whole Cross Guild thing his all, you know, make the best out of a bad situation because he’s not going anywhere any time soon… Maybe there are ways to make his, Mihawk, and Crocodile’s relationship better, like, maybe he could get them all matching red cloaks, that’d make them look like a flashy team, right?? Okay, they’d probably kill him on the spot if he did something like that. Oh, uh, maybe he could gift them some sake! Wait…They’re kind of snobby and only drink aged wine or some crap. Uh, uh… what could he do for them? 

A sudden idea pops up in Buggy’s mind and he glances over at the clock by his bedside again, wondering how in just a few short seconds it went from four in the morning to almost six. Gah, time doesn’t make sense, but that doesn’t matter right now.

What are the most important things to Crocodile and Mihawk? Why, it’s their hook and sword of course! Well, actually, he’s pretty sure the most important thing to Crocodile is money and power, but that doesn’t matter! What if he shined their things for them!! That would be nice, wouldn’t it? And then they would definitely stop hating him and being mean to him, right? They’d have to! They’ll want to be his best friend if he does something that nice!! Buggy will give Crocodile’s hook and Mihawk’s sword a nice shine, and then they’ll be all like, ‘Oh, my god, Buggy. You’re so amazing, you’re so wonderful, you’re so sexy and smart, we love you!!!!’ Okay, wait, they probably won’t do the last thing, but Buggy can hear their praises now.

God, he’s so smart. 

Buggy hops out of bed, quickly gets himself dressed, and then makes his way out of his tent. The island feels so calm and peaceful right now as his men continue to sleep in the early morning hours. Everything is deserted and quiet, and Buggy enjoys the scenery, finding Emptee Bluffs island the most beautiful during early summer mornings such as this. Buggy just so happens to notice that the sun is just barely beginning to peek over the horizon as he heads to Crocodile’s tent first, and he takes a moment to admire its beauty before continuing on with his tasks. He's so excited for this! He’s going to have two, not one, but two, super cool best friends!   

As Crocodile’s tent comes into view, Buggy’s heart starts pounding in his chest because, despite knowing he has nothing but good intentions, he knows that if Crocodile were to discover what he plans on doing, then he’d wring his neck for sure. So, he quietly sneaks into Crocodile’s tent, and in his room, he can just barely make out the soft sounds of snoring coming from over at his bed. Perfect, Buggy thinks, hoping that there might be a chance that Crocodile doesn’t sleep with his hook on, and as he crouches down and makes his way slowly across the dimly lit room, he notices the object of his desire lying right on top of Crocodile’s nightstand. 

Perfect. He’s going to be so surprised! Buggy’s going to just take this for a little while, but he’s going to make sure he returns Crocodile’s hook, and of course, Mihawk’s sword, before either of them realizes that their belongings have even gone missing! 

Buggy quickly snatches up Crocodile’s hook, clutching it close to his chest, and then goes after his next target: Yoru. He thinks things might be a little more difficult considering that Mihawk may very well be awake at this time since he seems like an early riser, and Buggy has often seen him taking morning walks around the island or getting a cup of coffee from the cafeteria. It’ll be alright though, maybe he’ll be asleep or out of his tent. Buggy wastes little time making his way over to Mihawk’s tent, peeking his head in first to see if he’s awake or even inside, and when he realizes that his tent is empty, but Yoru is resting against the side of his bed, he grins, grabbing Mihawk’s beloved sword and quickly making a run for it.  

Buggy can try to hide Crocodile’s hook but, obviously, it’ll be a little hard given its size, but there’s no way that he could possibly hide Mihawk’s sword, so he makes a quick run for it towards one of the island’s workshops, grunting on the way there from the sheer weight of both items. He looks around the shop once he’s inside, searching for some polishing cream and a rag, and struggling for a moment because he doesn’t usually come to this place. Usually, he just stops by for a few minutes to check up on his men, so he doesn’t know where anything is. Everything is so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time, but he eventually finds what he needs and begins working on his surprise, having a seat on a stool and polishing Crocodile’s hook first.

He grunts again as he holds the heavy metal in his hands, wondering how Crocodile can even use this as a prosthetic with how heavy it is. He thinks it has to be at least a good thirty pounds alone, but that’s none of Buggy’s concern, he just took it so that he would be able to give it the shine it needs. Not only does giving this bad boy a good shine seem nice, but wouldn’t it be cooler if Crocodile engaged in battle with the Marines or even one of the mighty four emperors (not Buggy though.) and he had the coolest, most shiniest, most bad ass hook the world’s ever seen?!

Hell yeah, it would be! Crocodile is going to look so freaking cool thanks to Buggy!!! 

He polishes the hook once, but it honestly doesn’t look shiny enough the first time around, so Buggy decides to polish it again, and then actually a third time because he wants that bad boy to shine like a diamond…even though it’s gold. It doesn’t matter, he just wants it to look pretty. He wants it so shiny that light will bounce off it and blind people, that’s how shiny he wants Crocodile’s gold hook to be, and as he finishes polishing it, he smiles to himself, now a little sweaty because of the poor ventilation in the workshop. 

Buggy moves on to Yoru next and as he holds the sword up, he once again takes the time to mentally complain about the pure weight of the object alone, wondering how Mihawk carries the damn thing on his back all the time without having any problems. He must have a spine made out of steel.

(Buggy wishes he could say the same.)

Buggy stares at the sword, admiring its beauty for a moment before lying it down on the workbench in front of him, he notices as he begins to polish the blade that the bandages around the hilt are a little ragged and dirty now, most likely from how much its owner uses it, and Buggy gets another idea in his head at that moment, wondering if there’s anything that he can rewrap the hilt of the sword with. He figures that he’ll worry about that a bit later though as he begins to polish Yoru, and just like with Crocodile’s hook, Buggy can’t help but think that the sword would look so much cooler and prettier if it was shinier. Like, yeah, it’s already stunning, but it just needs that extra layer of flashiness to really make it stand out, and so he takes his time polishing the blade, shining it until it’s bright and pretty, and so dazzling it makes Buggy’s eyes hurt, and once he’s done he looks for something to rewrap the hilt with. 

It takes him a little while, but he does eventually find some white leather that he thinks could probably be used to wrap the hilt with, and he begins to unwrap the bandages from around the sword, which, by the way, takes a whole lot longer than Buggy thought it would.  He eventually manages to get the bandages wrapped around the hilt off though, and then proceeds to wrap, and unwrap, and then wrap the sword again. He does this several times because this too, isn’t as easy as he thought it would be, but he slowly starts to figure out how to make the leather around the hilt look juuuust right...When all of a sudden, he hears loud, quick footsteps coming from the outside of the tent, but he figures it's just his men ready to start their day. 

How long have I been here? Buggy wonders as he continues to wrap Yoru’s hilt. He doesn’t have a watch on him, but he doesn’t feel like he’s spent that much time in the workshop, maybe because he’s genuinely enjoying himself and likes the idea of possibly making Mihawk and Crocodile happy? 

“Hey, Clown, you in there?!” 

Buggy pauses in an instant. Crocodile…? He wonders, taking a moment to figure out who the gravelly voice that just called out to him belongs to. Oh no! The surprise, it’s going to be ruined if he doesn– 

Too late. 

Mihawk and Crocodile come barging into the tent, both red in the face and looking like they want to snap Buggy’s neck but to be fair, they always look like that. Buggy pauses for a moment and stares up at his two chief officers, unsure of how to explain himself now that he’s been caught. Damn it, he really thought that he could get everything done before they realized their stuff was missing!! Seriously, how long has he been in the workshop?!

The room fills with tension as the two other members of Cross Guild glare at him, and Crocodile is the first to speak up, “Where’s my damn hook?!” He asks, and even though it's first thing in the morning, his voice is still, loud, deep, and intimidating, and he doesn’t sound like he’s in a good mood… but, then again, Buggy doesn’t think he ever is. Mihawk follows suit, asking his own question afterwards in a significantly quieter, yet equally as intimidating voice, “...And why do you have my sword?”

Well, so much for the surprise... 

Buggy places Yoru down for a moment as the other two former warlords approach him, and he notices how their expressions go from unbridled rage to pure confusion in a moment’s notice as soon as they get a little closer to him. He stands up and picks up Crocodile’s hook first and hands it to him, “I know I shouldn’t have taken your stuff,” He admits, and both Mihawk and Crocodile’s confusion only seems to grow, “But I just suddenly thought to myself: ‘Wow, i want to do something nice for them so that maybe we could be friends…and that you guys would look so cool if your weapons were all clean and shiny…” He chuckles lightly for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain how he got ahead of himself, but everything was all out of the goodness of his heart.

 

 “Seriously, guys, i was hoping that i could get everything polished before you even noticed your things were gone, but obviously that didn’t happen…” He sighs, rubbing the back of his head, “But, yeah, i wasn’t trying to make you guys mad or anything, just wanted you to look cool and to be friends!”

There’s absolute silence after Buggy’s explanation. Crocodile looks down at his hook, twisting and turning it in his hand as he examines it, and then suddenly he mutters a quiet, “Whatever, just don’t steal it again.” before he makes his leave, and honestly… Considering this is Crocodile we’re talking about, Buggy feels like things went a lot better than they could have… but still, he’s a little disappointed at that reaction. Was Crocodile’s hook not shiny enough? Or is he just really upset that Buggy stole his hand in the first place? Ah, shucks… Maybe he messed up. Maybe he should have done something else for him instead…Is his relationship with Crocodile going to be even more strained because of this? 

Aw, man. He hopes not! 

Buggy turns to Mihawk next, who is still staring at him speechlessly with wide eyes. He gives him a small, little smile, hoping that he hasn’t screwed things up with Mihawk too, “Uh, no offense, but the bandages around your sword were a little worn out, so uh, i thought i’d rewrap your sword too. I’m almost done, just give me a second,” Buggy tells him and then sits back down on the stool he was using, quickly finishing his job and wrapping Yoru’s hilt tightly, and afterwards he stands back up and gives Mihawk a proper grin, hoping that he might be a little more appreciative of his gift. “There! All done,” He says, handing the sword back to its owner. 

Mihawk continues to just stare at him even after he gets his sword back, and honestly, Buggy didn’t do any of this for a thank you or praise, even though that would be nice, he did this because he genuinely wanted to change things between him, Hawkeye, and Crocodile…So, he’s a little shocked when Mihawk simply sighs before quickly leaving the workshop too, not even saying another word to Buggy.

…So, are they not going to be super cool best friends?

((A/N: Hopefully this isn't ASS.))

[lunar-years]

Ted Lasso s4 ideas:

The season inexplicably reverts to an old school format. I.e., there are 24 episodes, but all of them are roughly the same length as s1 episodes and not those s3 monstrosities

Most of these episodes are just goofy team antics for the hell of it :) but there’s also more room for good character development and whatnot.

Return of the Christmas Episode!

Keeley and Barbara get an arc about becoming true work besties and being amazing at their jobs. Barbara gets to be a bigger supporting character because let’s be real this show needs more women.

Keeley is also back at Richmond working on the women’s team and thus no longer isolated from the main cast all season

Roy is struggling with being a manager and Nate is the one who helps him adjust. Thus we get some fruition and payoff from the Nate & Roy parallels and Nate’s Roy-shaped insecurities in prior seasons.

Trent’s back to “write a book about Rebecca” and he spends most of his time “interviewing” her in her office, except really they mostly just gossip about everyone at the club and eat biscuits

Jamie tells other people about visiting his dad and lets people help him process and navigate that in a healthy way. I think it would be really lovely if Sam was one of the people he confides in and they get a bestie arc that emphasizes how much their relationship has grown and why. Also the dad foils there remain soooo juicy. Whether it works out with James or not is less important than whether the story is given necessary and thoughtful attention

Roykeeley get to have the necessary conversations about their breakup that s3 denied them :( maybe they also get a nice heart-to-heart about both feeling in over their heads in their new job roles and how that can be so overwhelming but also ultimately very rewarding, too.

Royjamie rain kiss

Eventual Canon Throuple duh

Beardjane divorce arc + adorable Dad!Beard antics

Ted pops up for intermittent cameos when he’s zooming in from American to join in on the Diamond Dogs. It becomes a running bit because they always forget about time zones and wake him up and shit.

Ted makes a larger cameo near the end of the season because he and Henry take a trip to London to watch the team and cheer them on.

Everyone is left happy and thriving and therapied down 🫡

Jason you should hire me. Put me in, coach!

[saturatedstarlight]

A/n: Happy birthday to my favorite boy Keiji!!!! Ahhhh I wrote this a while back and its kinda homey and lovey dovey with both my faves keiji and kou :> I’d definitely classify this as a bokuaka x reader fluff. Post time skip so deez men are grownn!!!

Cw: possessive akaashi, teasing reader, hinted pregnancy, throuple, poly bokuaka x reader, afab! reader, living together, domestic, home-y, lots of physical affection, mentions of sex/sexual activity, reader is briefly referred to as mommy, (mentioned sub reader)

mdni!!!!!

____________________________________________

Akaashi takes one of the vanilla cupcakes and spreads icing on it too, “Here we go with the dude again.”

“You like to call me baby and darling and other cute pet names and I like to refer to you as dude, take it or leave it.”

“But dude is reserved for friends and people you are familiar with,” Akaashi begins, circling the counter and hugging you from behind.

“-we are intimate, as in I know what you feel like and sound like. Shouldn’t I be referred to as something more endearing and sweet? I am your boyfriend sweetheart.”

He sways you back and forth, burying his face into the crook of your neck, kissing you there.

“But that’s the cool part you see because just because we are intimate and you are my boyfriend, we can still keep up a casual manner of speaking. It’s ironic.”

“I hate it.” He deadpans and you chuckle.

“Why does it matter? I love you, you know I do, me calling you dude or not doesn’t affect the way I feel about you.”

“It matters because its youuu.” He stresses.

Out comes Bokuto from a nap, shirtless and pants hung low around his waist, his casual household attire.

He comes over to kiss you both, eyes still groggy and voice husky and deep.

“Akaashi doesn’t want to admit it baby but he likes when you get possessive over him. Calling him dude makes him think that you don’t desire him the same way he does.” Bokuto interjects, mouth full of cupcake that you spent the last twenty minutes icing.

You place your hands on Akaashi that were still wrapped around you. You tilt your head to try to look at him. “Is this true?” You try to mask your smile after noticing the faint blush on his cheeks.

Akaashi stays silent, his hold loosening, he seemed upset. “Keiji, look at me.” Your tone of voice becoming more stern.

You turn around in his arms, “I didn’t think you were the possessive type, I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

“I’m not upset my lo-“

You kiss him, shutting him up. Your lips inhale his breath as you lean into him. You kiss him firmly, intent on making him know how you feel just through one kiss. You pull away slowly, softly pecking his lips a few times to seal in your feelings. “No, shh you always do this, if I upset you or if anyone does, say it. Don’t spare your feelings for my sake. You are right, you deserve to be acknowledged properly.” Your hands make their way to his hair, carding softly through his dark locks.

“Baby… I love you. There’s no end to my love for you okay? You are my cutie patootie and I’ll always be here for you okay? Now hug me before I start getting really sappy.” Akaashi lifts you up in a hug, “I like sappy.” His words are muffled in your embrace.

“Noted.”

“Now will you help me finish making snacks? Or do you need a break?”

“No, I’ll help.” His hand is laced in yours and from his grip he doesn’t intend to let go, you smile.

“Okay and later we can cuddle and take a nap.”

“No nap, just cuddles.”

“Please, I woke up extra early to make all this food for Bokuto’s get together, and yet he won’t stop eating it!” You thwack him in the head playfully.

“Ow!”

“Okay okay, let’s finish icing these cupcakes and I’ll do the rest later.”

“No no, I’ll just order take out. Thank you both for doing this. I love you.”

“Stop eating the cupcakes Koutaro.”

“No promises.” He replies to you, kneeling down to lift up your shirt and kiss your tummy.

“Mommy’s such a great baker, isn’t she.”

You and Akaashi freeze, “I’m—what?”

“Mommy?”

“Yeah I had another pregnancy dream, except it was y/n. Isn’t that cute.” Bokuto nuzzles his head on your stomach, kissing it.

“Kou, please don’t scare me like that.”

“What? Why? I think you as a mommy would be so adorable. Obviously not right now, but someday.” You pat his head, encouraging him to stand.

“Yeah someday baby but trust me, I am no where near ready for a kid. And knowing you both, you’re gonna pump me full of kids.”

“I mean… I can if you want.” Bokuto stands, placing his hands on your ass and kissing your ear, he’s smirking.

“I will bite you.” You reply, pushing him away.

Akaashi slides his hands down your body from behind, “And I’m the kinky one?”

“You areee!”

“I’m probably the most vanilla but because you two get so pussy drunk, you basically use me however you like and I’m a naturally a sub so of course I’ll do it.”

“And because you love us.”

“Greatly, now lets finish up my love, I wanna relax with you.”

“Yes mommy.”

“Keiji-“

Bokuto is snickering as he vacuums.

“You both drive me nuts.”

————————————————————————-

any feedback is welcome, remember to be kind :)

[baby-alien11]

being in a relationship with Chad and Liv

Some would think that living in a small town like Woodsboro will be fun and quiet, but after the mass murders that had happened since the 90's and the Stab franchise nothing was the same

Fortunately, you grew up with a nice group of friends who almost everyone (rarely) had a relation with previous victims from past ghostfaces, being Tara and you the only ones who weren't related to them

But the one who you were most close, was Chad

While growing up, you often spend time in your houses, it didn't matter if it were to do homework, play, watch movies or simply spend time doing nothing

Being that close, meant that your parents were also close due to your friendship

Sometimes when you spend time in the Meeks-Martin house, you would scape to Mindy's room to watch true crimes videos or documentaries

Ending in a small discussion between the twins about spending time with you

All that closeness between you and Chad developed into a relationship when you were starting high school

Basically, things stayed like before, except that now there were kisses and playful touches between the two

And also intimacy moments

During the most part of high school, the two of you were the perfect example of childhood friends to lovers and kinda like the perfect couple

And then, Liv McKenzie entered both of your lifes

"Who is that?", you asked to no one after saw her walking in the hallways, "I love her pink hair"

"That's Liv, we work together", Tara who was with you and Chad at that moment, answered

"She looks nice", Chad commented

After that moment, you and Chad often tried to be close to Liv due to curiosity and interest towards her

Which she gladly accepted because she felt comfortable around you two

It wasn't until a few weeks later, that you and Chad realised that both of you developed feelings towards Liv

Realising that, you and Chad talked about the situation for a few hours, you two went to the conclusion tthat both of you liked Liv and wanted to try a relation of three

But first of all, you needed to talk to her to know her opinions

"Hey, Liv", you called her while you were getting your nails done, "How you feel about consensual relationships of three people"

"I think they're interesting", she responded, "I guess it's more fun and all that, why the cuestion?"

"Simple curiosity", you shrugged, "Chad and I are going bowling tonight, want to come?"

"Sure"

Having that answer, you and Chad decided to wait a few days to tell Liv about your feelings

The day when you both decided to tell her about having a relationship of three, Chad and you decided to do it in a comfortable place, which was your place

When Liv arrived, you led her to your room when Chad was waiting

Explaining everything to her on how you and Chad like her and how both of you developed feelings towards her, ending with the proposal of becoming a throuple

With fear for her answer, you both listened what she had to say

Sighing in relief when Liv also said that she liked both of you, starting a relationship that same day

The next day at school, when the three of you entered taking hands no one was surprised because of your closeness

But when you three shared a kiss before going to your classes everyone lost their minds

"What the hell?", Wes murmured

"Y/N likes girls and didn't tell me?", Mindy exclaimed, "I'm her best friend!"

"I kinda see it coming", Amber commented

"Same, they often spend all the time together, it was a matter of time", Tara agreed

Liv was an artistic person, and she had her collection of different pencils of color, markers, paints, etc, so both of you often, mostly because of boredom, used the markers to color on Chad's tattoos

One time, accidentally use the permanent ones, so he had to go like that during a few days

For a few months, things were good

Until Tara was attacked by Ghostface

With the attacks back in town, Chad had the idea that the three of you had the FindMyFam app to keep track on each other

But Liv and you rejected the idea

Also it wasn't very helpful to the situation, that Liv's ex hook up was around

"Oh shit, is that...Vince?", Liv interrupted the conversation about Ghostface

Hearing that, you and Chad were the first to alert noticing the guy a few metters away

"Wait, the creep you hooked up with last summer?", Chad asked

"Yeah, he worked with me and Tara"

"Babe, your taste got better after waisting your time with the creep", you commented while circling her waist with your arms

"He worked with Tara?", Amber asked with interest

"He's been stalking my Instagram the last couple weeks, posting the creepiest shit"

"Probably time to introduce him to Hobbs and Shaw", Chad said refering to his muscled arms

"All the time that Mindy and I spend watching true crime videos, is finally paying off", you add with a playful smile, "I know how to hide a body without leaving evidence"

After hearing that Tara had woken up, all the group, except for Liv, went to the hospital, were a few time later, Tara's sister, Sam along her boyfriend Richie arrived

Things got worse after the first attack, because after a discussion between Chad and Vince at a bar, the older one was founded dead, and in the hospital, Sam was attacked by Ghostface

The next morning, Sam called to a reunion in the twins house to find a solution about the situation

Thanks to the fact that you, Liv and Chad slept in there to feel more secure, which Mindy took every opportunity to tease the three of you

Sleeping in the same bed, implied that during the night the three of you often change positions, almost always ending with one of them falling of the bed, mostly Chad

But that helped to feel a little more relaxed

Also, there was the fact that Martha, the twins' mom, loved Liv and you like daughters, so she didn't have a problem with the three of you hanging out in her house

During the meeting, Sam revealed that her father was Billy Loomis, one of the original killers

That revelation and the connection in the kills, ended up with Mindy saying a monologue about how all of you were in a 'requel' and only legacy characters die

Unfortunately, these rules didn't apply because Wes, Sheriff Jude and Dewey died

Due to that, Amber had the "great" idea to host a party in honnor of Wes

"I hate this house", you said while you and Liv waited for Chad who was looking for drinks, "People died and was stab in here"

"It has bad vibes", Liv agreed, "I don't know how Amber can live in here"

"That's a little suspicious now that you said it, why live in the murder house?"

"Beautiful ladies, your drinks and boyfriend are here", Chad interrumpted handing the drinks

After a little while, with the drinks forgotten in the center table, the three of you started to get a little more passionate

When suddenly Liv broke the moment to confess that she was ready to elevate things in the relationship

While you were happy that she felt comfortable with having sex, Chad on the other hand, rejected the idea

And ruin it by implying that Liv might be the killer, which ended up in her leaving mad

"Okey, I'm going to follow her and try to fix this", you said to Chad standing up from the couch, "When we back you are going to apologize"

"I didn't meant to make her mad", Chad defended himself

"I know, but you did, so think about what you are going to say to apologize"

"Are you taking your personal defense keychain?"

"As always!", that was the last thing you said after leaving the house

While crossing the front yard, you took the keychain in between your hands firmly to start walking in the streets, founding her in the middle of her way home

"Liv!", you yelled gainning her attention whitout stopping to run towards her, "Wait!"

"Y/N, babe what are you doing?", Liv exclaimed hugging you, "There's a killer on the streets!"

"I know, but I'm sorry for what Chad said, he was wrong, but he's a little paranoid about this shitty situation"

"So you came to apologize in his behalf?"

"No, I came to look for you so he can apologize"

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I do", you said while taking her hans, "Babe, we love you, and yes Chad was an idiot for implying that, and that's why he wants to apologize, so can we go back and be the happy throuple that we are?"

"Okay"

During the walk towards Amber's house, Liv realised that she left her phone at that house, which was weird because she always had it in her purse

When you arrived at the house, the horrible scene of Chad laying on the grass covered in blood and cuts was the first thing you saw

Inmediatly, both of you run towards him to see how bad he was

"He has pulse!", you anounced with tears after checking his vital signs, "Fuck! What the hell happened?"

"I'll go alert the others", Liv said standing up to run inside the house

"Be careful", you exclaimed before returning your attention to your boyfriend while applying presure to some cuts, "Don't worry babe, everything is gonna be okay"

Without stopping to apply preasure, you managed to call 911 to ask for help

Unfortunately, things inside the house ddin't seem well becuase all the noise from gunshots, screams and hits making you feel scared for your girlfriend and friends

During the sunrise, all was over in time when the police and ambulances arrived at the place

Quickly, Chad was put in one of them to threat his injuries while you stayed by his side

But everything went down when both of you knew that Liv was a victim of the killers, who were Amber and Richie

Hearing the fate of your girlfriend, Chad and you started crying in pain due to the loss of the girl you loved

During the funeral that was a few days after, both of you tried to stay strong for Liv's family, but it was hard because all the memories that you shared

"Guys, I want to thank you for making my daughter happy", Liv's mom said during the reception at the McKenzie home, "At the beggining I wasn't sure about the whole throuple thing, but she was happy"

"We loved her very much", you said trying to contain the tears

"She was so special to us", Chad added

"And I wanted for you to had something from her"

"Mrs McKenzie, that is not necessary", you tried to argue

"Please, I know is what she wanted", Liv's mom insisted, "Please"

At the end, both of you ended up choosing some scrunchies and accesories that she often use

Also, when Chad was full recovered, the two of you decided to have a small tattoo of the letter "L" in the left wrist in her memorie

[acphengene]

i'm slowly starting to build the profiles and the general story line for Sunghoons story. you've slowly gotten to know him through out darling, and since the story will take place in the same universe, i would love to hear your ideas or thoughts and what the story could be. since i havent started writing it yet you'll get to be a much bigger part of the story than what you've been with Jay's.

my main struggles at this point for hoons story is why our dear reader left seoul, and why is she coming back? i was first thinking iceskating, she's coming back to train, dating her skating partner, leaving sunghoon in a jealous state? but whenever he dates she cant stand to be in a room with him? possibly with a little accident and some heavy angst and amnesia? i just don't know if the whole skating thing is to obvious because it's him.

the other one is 'he fell first, she fell harder' type of situation, she comes back and hoon has become this iceprince, completely cut off from all romantic emotions (except when it comes to jay ofc) she tries to 'fix' him by finding out why the kind boy she once knew had turned into this, only to realize it's because she left and with her the possibility for true love since he had always loved her?

the two of them had always been besties, had always been so so close, and had always loved one another, everyone knew it except them. so when she returns to seoul with a fiancee (arranged marrige because rich people are wierd) he has to convince him self that he's okay with it, only to completely give up on that, leaving him with sabotaging the wedding planning and finally eloping with her?

the completely unhinged approach which i havent been able to get out of my fucking mind... is completely ditching my original plan for hoon, and making him fall in love with Y/N from darling, totally panicked, completely head over heels in love with her, hating every second of it, only to realize he also has feelings for jay and make the three of them into a throuple.... BUT I DONT WANNA DO THAT! i need someone to tell me it's the worst possible idea... might just do an alternative ending or story just because i fucking cant get it out of my mind!

i'm so lost on what i want the story to be, i just know i need it to be filled with angst! i miss angst, jay is too put together to have the amounts of angst that i really enjoy!

[holly-mckenzie]

Bump S3 Thoughts

Vince:

I absolutely adore Vince, as everyone knows, so it was really great seeing him again

Love that he was able to become a midwife seeing that was his dream in S2

I actually really liked that he has a gf and wasn’t waiting for Reema for 5 years. That was a fun touch. 

Now as for the great big part of the show. Vince being “part of a throuple”and the sperm donor. 

To be completely honest I don’t know that I fully understand and appreciate that story arc (which is a me issue). I’m not saying it’s terrible writing or anything. I just don’t get it. 

I think one of the main issues I had with it is that in S2 a huge part of Vince’s character arc was him setting boundaries bc the people around him were using him/treating him like shit

This is why he “breaks up” with Reema if you remember S2

But in S3 it still feels like Vince is doing things to please others. I know that in the end he wants to do it and be a part of the babies life but it still felt weird.

I know that he decides that he wants the baby but at the same time it’s really hard for me to reconcile the differences between S2 vs S3

i also don’t understand the point of an additional baby beyond the show being called Bump. Not to be that person, but what purpose did the baby serve?

Loved seeing Vince’s mum. Would have loved to see more of Vince’s family. 

Reema

in my post about S2 of Bump I mentioned that SO much character development happens off screen. I agree with myself 

I know it’s bc of the 5 year jump but still. Who did Reema get married to? Where was she studying? How long was she married for? I need the details, but they weren’t given and it makes me sad 

Okay random comment. Reema is always going on about the true crime podcasts and I feel like it’s a bit iffy that she’s into them.

Specifically bc both Reema and Oly are written as characters who are into social justice and what not. So it seems a bit iffy when you consider the backlash against true crime community and what not. 

Loved to see Reema and her mum again. They are by far one of my fav parts of the show. 

Vince and Reema 

Okay so I loved so much of the Vince and Reema interactions. 

The scene where they first meet and Reema lashes out against Vince’s GF is so funny 

I also adored her doing his hair and the scene where she is thirsty. Vince’s response was so endearing 

I’m still confused about Vince being a sperm donor and how that impacts the relationship

Throughout the entire season Reema seems uncomfortable by Vince’s decision, but supportive towards him. This makes sense to me. 

However at the end of the season we see Vince looking happily at the baby then at Reema. I just don’t know what that means or what the audience is supposed to feel. 

They looking at each other kinda parallels the end shot between Oly and Santi. Yet with O & S we know it’s hinting at the romance and true love for each other

With Reema and Vince, Reema almost seemed sad. So I have no idea what that means for them or what the ending is supposed to mean.

Do they like each other? Are they going to be together forever? 

Rosa 

I have nothing much to say about Rosa other than the fact I love her! 

Rosa and her BF are truly the best! So cute!

Wish that the spin off show was about Rosa and her family!

[hms-tardimpala]

🕯️🍄🔪 for the writer ask game!

Hey, thank you for the ask!

🕯️ �� on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

I'd give editing an 8 out of ten, because it's light work for me. I edit a little every time I reread when I write the text, so by the time I'm done with a scene, it's pretty much reached its final shape.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Fun fact about me: after years in fandom, I'm still fuzzy on the definition of "headcanon", I keep checking it. I'm so obssessed about canon-compliance that I have a hard time imagining something about the characters because a Sloan in my head frowns and says "but that's not true". Which I know is counterintuitive for a fic writer.

But! I'll try my best.

Let's take Merlin/Arthur for this one, because I never talk about them. The few fics I read about them were quick, wish fulfillment smut, but I actually think it'd be very difficult for them to get together. I think they'd be burning for each other but held back by so many things (medieval context, status gap, Merlin's secret, etc.). Chiefest among them, Guinevere. They would be knee-deep in guilt because she's Arthur's future queen and he loves her, and she's Merlin's best friend and neither of them would ever betray her.

I think she would have to be the one to bring them together, to allow them to act on their feelings. Nothing would happen without her benediction and prodding. I don't see them as a sexual throuple because Gwen and Merlin are too much like siblings, but I think that between the two of them they'd devise a way to share the king and become Camelot's ruling triad. Also, if someone can help the revelation of Merlin's powers go smoothly, it's Gwen.

So my headcanon is that there's no Merthur without Gwen. Furthermore, I think that AU-wise, if you want to change the ending of the show and make it happy, the only (?) way to make it happen is through queer love. In Black Sails, the love was there and it didn't change anything, but Merlin is a different show. And I sort of make shows with a sad ending that could have been prevented by queer writing my specialty.

I hope that's the kind of thing you meant!

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh, I don't know... I've researched some unusual stuff, but weird? Once, I was writing a fic set in France but a character was from New Jersey, so I had to do more research on NJ than I ever thought I would need. I read the whole wikipedia article for the NJ turnpike. Another time, I researched psychogenic amnesia and ended up taking a test destined to healthcare professionnals on weaponized biological agents.

Thank you so much for playing with me, it was fun! <33

[unizombie-land]

Doing two people this time haHA!

Please read my first post to understand what I am talking about in this one.

.

.

.

Now continue from the first post, these two are Marissa boyfriends! They both “hate” each other but Marissa knows that they secretly cuddle when she not looking. They are childhood best friends of Marissa and know her the best out of anyone in her friend group.

Now onto the individual information!

The first one will 4 arms is named Tripp, full name trippo phobia(based off of the phobia of small holes, trypophobia). He is a spider prince *le gasp*! You might be thinking that he’s not a misfit and doesn’t belong but he is. He is the youngest out of 5 siblings and, instead of inheriting the royal poisonous venom that comes out from their pincers, he has a paralyzing venom. He is seen as not a true royal and is very distant from most his family. His mother and father still love him but they give him more of a difficult time.

Now onto his personality. He is a calm and collected person. Most of his life he has been doing the “dirty” work that royals have to do (or don’t want to do) so he is fine with doing most things. He doesn’t mind doing hard work. Most of the time he forgets to relax and that’s why Marissa is there.

Now to the fishy one. His name is finn(I know. So clever). He is a piranha type fish man. He doesn’t really have a family to call his own and used to bounce between foster homes before Marissa father decided to adopt him and become his guardian. Most of his problems come from his spices aggressive nature. Mostly just their need to alway bite something. That’s why he was never able to find a family. Most of them were either scared of him or just didn’t know how to handle his temper. But thankfully he found a home in both Marissa and Tripp’s heart(let me be cheesy).

He’s usually very aggressive towards people but once you get to know him he’s a big ol nerd! He honestly loves doing homework and problems solving. It keeps him busy and makes him happy when he finally finishes with all the right answers. He does chew a lot like an untrained puppy but when he’s given something to chew he is happy.

Bonus throuple images!

[georgiapeach30513]

Second Generation Honeymoons

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Owin & BB: Portugal

Listen, all Owin wants to do is spoil his Bitty Bean, and spoil you he does!  He had to ask his mom and second mom, Mrs. D what would be the perfect location for him, and they both said Portugal.  Owin loves the outdoors.  He has a ton of energy and is always going.

It’s a beautiful location, so much history, lots to do outside, but still nothing is more beautiful than his BB.  The day is ALL about exploring.  The night time....Owin is a big boy, and he doesn’t have a problem taking care of you, but sometimes, he wants you to take care of your big boy!  It’s why it took him longer to settle.  He needed him a woman, not a girl, and someone who would spoil him with affection.

I’m not saying that there wasn’t some late mornings, early afternoons, because there definitely was.  And man did you not enjoy spoiling every inked up inch of that BIG boy.

Joshua & Emy: Bali

These two!  It’s like they were destined to be together.  Children of lifelong best friends.  They even would vacation, and do holidays together.  Here’s a secret, Emilia Joy Rogers has always had a crush on Joshua Buchanan Barnes.  He was her Carter, but she never said much.  But to be fair, almost everyone crushed on Joshua, he’s a cutie and a sweetheart.

These two tried to deny their love for one another, claimed it was just sex (isn’t that how most of these couples start?) but it always something deeper.  Joshua saw her interning at his dad’s practice, and he became smitten.  Emy was an awkward teen that turned into a bombshell, and she knew it!  

They love traveling, they’ve had a lot of sex, so their honeymoon was more about the traveling, trying out foods, hiking, doing touristy things, but also seeing what the locals enjoy.  Visiting the hot springs, and the elephants!  Emy became a kindred spirit with the elephants.  Emy is a foodie, and she turned her picky man into one.  Ugh, I know we haven’t seen much from them, but they’re ADORABLE.

Beau & Bunny: American Road Trip

What else would these two do besides see the United States?  They loaded up the bus, and set out cross country.  Vibing to some Stevie and/or Fleetwood Mac, swim in different lakes and oceans, see the mountains, and nature.  Arleigh loves the simple beauty in things, and Beau loves Arleigh.

They didn’t have a plan, which somewhat drove Beau nuts.  He’s a planner and a saver, so when they took the three and half months to see all fifty states, they did just that.  At this point these two were so entuned with each other.  Were together for over six years before getting married.  

They tried all kinds of local foods, woke up with the sun, got all freckle faced, and sun kissed, skinny dipped, fell asleep in each others arms, and enjoyed calling each other Mr. and Mrs. Adler.

Eva & Harry & Kira: Philippines

Okay, so this throuple...Harry met his match with Eva and Kira.  Kira is almost like their little doll.  Don’t let her small size, and somewhat meek personality fool you, Jake and Yelena would never raise a daughter that couldn’t take care of her own.  But Harry and Eva love seeing her in all the pretty things.  Most of their luggage was different clothes and bathing suits for her.

Eva is the Dom in this relationship.  She is the caregiver, and she’s the one that keeps her puppy Harry in line.  We know he’s a bit of a flirt, and sometimes doesn’t know when to shut up, Eva shuts him up, by shoving his face in Kira’s tits, or her cunt.  Edging is her game when it comes to Harry, pup needs to know his place.

Their honeymoon was all about the water, and lounging.  Eva is a police officer, Harry is a game streamer, and Kira will become a stay at home mom.  She loves watching her puppy try to breed Kira like a bitch in heat.  They love just watching Kira lay in the sun, randomly getting her body wet to cool down, and they both struggle to keep their hands off of her.  She’s the soft one in the relationship, she can Dom, but it’s not her favorite, she’d rather be the true sub, while Harry is a switch....they’re going to have so much fun with their pup.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

OK! THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE FLUFFYNIGHTKILLER HEADCANNON I'VE COME UP WITH.

My people, I love this and I hope you do. Its a long one, but I promise its worth it.

So ever since I read this head cannon from @yuriyuruandyuraart I've had one nagging thought.

Polygamous marriage is illegal.

So as much as I loved this story of them getting engaged, they couldn't ever get married, but I didn't wanna rain on everyone's parade so I kept it to myself. Until now!

While talking with @jann-the-bean I came up with this and Jan loved it! So I hope you guys do to.

So imagine that the 3 of them are going around telling their friends and family about their engagement, in the classic happy kind of way. It's all well and good, Dream is thrilled to find out his brother is so happy. However, then he realises the law and Dream pulls his brother aside.

Dream "Uhh Night...Can I talk to you?"

Nightmare "yeah?"

Dream "I'm so happy that you got engaged brother.."

Nightmare "........."

Nightmare "but?"

Dream "but..... But isn't Polygamous marriage illegal?"

Nightmare "......."

And that was the glass shattering moment. Dream wasn't trying to be cruel or anything like that. He was just generally concerned that Nightmare hadn't thought of that.

So later that night, Nightmare brought it up to his partners and of course both of them where upset when they remembered that law. So began a long talk about what they could do. In the end Ccino mostly just said that it didn't matter to him if they were married, so long as they were together. Since he's still just a small city boy, he didn't really see that there was to much they could do, he was content to just maybe have a ceremony where they promise to be life partners, but not marry.

Nightmare and Killer on the other hand were not satisfied with that.

That Night, when Ccino was asleep the two got to talking. I like to think that over the years that Nightmare and Killer have become icons for the poly community, much like Elton Jon is one for the gay community. The two of them decided that they were going to use this to fight for the right to marry each other.

It started small. Posts on social media, comments in interviews. They started speaking out that they should be allowed to be wed. Because they loved each other and the law shouldn't stop them. There where online polls and campaigns as their fan base who had been a huge fan of the throuple started to back them up.

This is when Ccino became alerted to what they were doing. He was scared that they could damage their reputations and careers over this. He told them that he wasn't worth everything they were risking. That if they really wanted to get married, the two of them could and he'd just keep being their boyfriend.

They told him no and then lovingly told him to shut up and they would take care of it.

So began the start of a long legal battle, which all together spanned about 2 years. From when they first started talking about it online, to when the find judgment was made. They were denied.

In the end the court ruled that if polygamy was legalised, it would cause alot of issues. Its a taboo for a reason, and some people would just abuse it for their own gain.

Both Killer and Nightmare were heart broken. Ccino told them that he was so proud of them for trying and that he loved them more then ever. But Killer and Nightmare were still really upset.

This upset Ccino, because he'd seen how hard they had worked and as he thought over everything, he realised that he was actually irritated himself. In fact, he was a little angry. So now it was his turn to say No.

Ccino "you know what? No!"

Killer "what?"

Ccino "they said they couldn't legalise it because people would abuse the system"

Nightmare "yeah?"

Ccino "well I say No! That doesn't apply to us. You aren't some guy who wants a bunch of wives. We are 3 people who all love each other equally. We should have the right to marry"

Killer and nightmare "........"

Killer "we thought you said that you were ok with it"

Ccino "I'm not. Of course I'm not! I want to marry you both! "

So this prompted them to start a new campaign. If Polygamy couldn't be legalised for everyone, then they was campaign for the court to give the 3 of them legal right to marry. If a man could get the rights to marry himself (true story) and a women could be granted the right to marry a building (again, true story) then the 3 of them should be granted permission to marry.

So they took it back to court and this time Ccino took a more active roll in it, though Nightmare and Killer were more dominant. Ccino appeared with Nightmare and Killer in some interviews, but even if his mental health was much better at this point, he still couldn't fully handle all the pressure. But he put in a lot of work behind the scenes to help his partners in the case.

They Luckily still had the support of the public. They argued that they didn't want to abuse the system, they didn't want to have the bunch or wives or a bunch of husbands. They were 3 people who all loved each other deeply and just wanted to be married to each other.

Imagine the judge in court asking them why they wanted to make it legal to marry Ccino and why they couldn't just date him. And Killer just stands up like.

"dude have you seen him!? Who wouldn't want to make that fluffy marshmallow their husband?"

Then as Jan said this leaves poor Ccino (who is sat next to him) just a blushing mess and he says “Killer, don’t be so loud it’s embarrassing..”

Meanwhile, nightmare staring the judge dead in the eyes.

“I agree he’s to adorable not to marry, I mean if we don’t marry him someone else may try to steal him. And I refuse to let that happen”

(thanks for these ideas Jan)

After another 2 years or so of fighting for it. After all the public backing and the long process. Killer, Nightmare and Ccino are finally granted the right to marry.

Just imagine Nightmare trying to keep composed in court, though his having a little party in his head, and Killer on the other hand just stand on his table in court like.

"yes! Ha!"

Then he points at Ccino "guess what fluffy buns! We are marrying you!"

Ccino is so shocked, but he's also so happy. He truly never would have dreamt of this happening.

The moment that Nightmare, Killer are handed over the legal documents, they don't waste a moment, they grab Ccino and jump straight into their car. Then they drive straight to Las Vegas to elope not stopping to change or pack any clothes or anything, because they don't want to wait a second longer.

Of course Ccino gets super flustered at their suggestion to elope.

Ccino "get m-married right now!? But don't you want to wait? And have some big celebrity wedding? You mentioned it before"

Nightmare "nope"

Killer "we've been engaged for over 4 years, we want to put a ring on it right now!"

Nightmare "we don't need a big wedding, or all that stuff. We just need you to say I do"

Nightmare and Killer "so... Will you?"

Ccino "......"

Ccino "YES!"

(though maybe they stopped to pick up dream on the way. Nightmare probably knows that Dream would kill him if he missed his wedding.)

So the 3 were married in a small Chapel. Nothing fancy, but for them it was perfect. They all agreed that they would probably host a proper reception and ceremony for their friends and family to attend later. But for now, they didn't need that, they just needed to be married. It was a very small simple thing.

They probably stayed in a Vegas hotel that night. Probably had some time to celebrate. I just imagine Killer waking the two of them up the next morning with breakfast he'd ordered like:

"Good morning Husbands"

And he just can't keep the smile off his face.

About a year later they have a more formal ceremony. Which of course is super fun. But for them it doesn't change that fact that their actual wedding was truly perfect.

And dam I just love those 3. Jan was the one who wanted me to share this with you guys and I really hope you like it as much as me.

Dam it Dream XD

BTW, I know this most likely isn't fully realistic to what the legal system is like, but give me a break. I’m not a lawyer, I’m a shipper. Its fiction, just let me have it.

studio verse by @zu-is-here

original nightmare by jokublog

original killer by rahafwabas

original ccino by black-nyanko 

Oh and @kotikaleo I'm sorry I forgot to tag you! You always as to be tagged in this stuff. Sorry idk if you saw it

[flippin-fins]

Scandal

LadyNoir July 2021 Day 14: Scandal

Read on AO3

When Ladybug landed on the rooftop for patrol one night, she wasn’t expecting Chat Noir to be sitting there, laughing at his phone.

She sighed, having a pretty good idea of what he was laughing at.

Chat Noir looked up at his partner with a sober expression. “Why, M’lady. How could you do this to me? And with a model! Oh my heart, it breaks!” Dramatically clutching his chest, Chat Noir fell back onto the roof.

“Seriously, Chat?” She deadpanned, a headache already starting to form. “You know I already heard about this from Alya.”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t been caught kissing The Adrien Agreste, we wouldn’t be the top news story of the day.”

“How was I supposed to know they would spot us! You said no one would look down that alley! What if I had been transforming?”

He propped himself up on his elbows at that. “Well, that would have been an unfortunate end to our day, now wouldn’t it?”

Rubbing her temple, Ladybug suppressed another sigh. “If you’re so heartbroken over my kiss with The Adrien Agreste, maybe we should patrol separately tonight.” Throwing out her yo-yo, Ladybug hid her smile. She could hear him getting up, presumably reaching out to stop her, but she was faster.

Peeking over her shoulder, she could see his grin as he extended his baton, ready to chase her across the city.

~~~

Of course, it only got worse from there.

Turning to reporters after an akuma battle later that week, Ladybug expected questions about akumas or Hawkmoth. Not, well …

“Ladybug! Ladybug! Is it true? Are you cheating on Chat Noir with Adrien Agreste?”

“Ladybug, what can you tell us about Adrien Agreste?”

“Ladybug, how does your relationship with Adrien Agreste affect your partnership with Chat Noir?”

She could have sworn she heard Chat snickering at the last one.

“Does anyone have any questions related to -”

“Ladybug! Who’s a better kisser: Chat Noir or Adrien Agreste?”

She definitely heard Chat Noir laughing at that one.

“Alright, if no one has any relevant questions, Bug out!”

Chat’s laugh chased her all the way home

Even Tikki laughed at her misfortune. Thankfully, the kwami wasn’t telling her off for kissing her boyfriend (because really, who expected someone to stick a camera down that specific alleyway?) but instead was trying to help Marinette brainstorm a way out of this. It was too clear of a picture, and had been too long to refute that they were doing anything but kissing. The way their hands were tangled in the other's hair? The way his eyes were closed as he faced the camera? Even the way their foreheads pressed together made what they were doing incredibly obvious.

And now? Now Ladybug had to come up with a plan to explain why she had been kissing Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s boyfriend, when the city was convinced she was dating Chat Noir. Which she was, but the city didn’t know that. Nor did they need to know the real truth behind their messy love square.

Chat’s suggestions that night didn’t help either.

“What if I happen to bump into Marinette and we happen to get caught kissing?”

Ladybug thought she’d fall off the roof she was sitting on as she rolled her eyes.

“And what? Do you want the entire city of Paris to think we’re in some kind of throuple? Some sort of open relationship?” She rubbed her face to avoid looking at his smirk. “Just how well would that go for hiding our identities? Especially when Ladybug and Marinette are never seen together and Adrien and Chat Noir can’t show up to the same events? Plus, how do you think that scandal is going to fare with Gabriel Agreste?”

Chat frowned at her, silently considering other options.

“I guess we could just wait it out, I’m sure people will get bored and move on to some other story.”

For all the good luck she got from being Ladybug, she’d really hoped it would help with this situation. Maybe she’d been too hopeful.

When Chat Noir landed on the rooftop to start patrol a week later, Ladybug was shoving a magazine under his nose before he could even say hello.

“Seriously? It’s been a week! There’s been 3 Akumas! Why is this still front page news!”

“Are you really surprised? A teen model caught in an alley with Paris’s favorite superhero?’

“Second favorite.”

“Uh-huh, sure. But Chat Noir isn’t on any of these covers-” she cut him off, pointing to a comically small version of the hero in the corner of the magazine cover. Where they’d gotten a photo of him looking so sad, she wasn’t sure. “Okay, but the gossip isn’t getting in the way of you trying to deal with akuma victims.”

“I get stopped as both Adrien the model and Chat Noir the hero to be asked about my feelings for Ladybug!”

“You get asked about that because you said in that interview Ladybug was your celebrity crush!”

“What was I supposed to do? Lie?”

Ladybug dropped her face into her hands, trying not to scream.

“Chat, what am I supposed to do? Nadia tried to get a camera in my face during an Akuma attack on Thursday, and I got stopped on my way to school on Friday morning. My parents keep saying it makes for nice business, but all the press is going to drive the regulars away! Not to mention how much harder it is to keep this city safe if they keep trying to distract me from the Akuma!”

Chat Noir reached out to place a hand on her soldier.

“I’d be happy to get caught kissing Marinette any day of the week.”

Reaching out blindly, Ladybug slapped her partner’s arm.

“Have you talked to Rena? Or considered using Trixx yourself? I know, I know -”

“Kwamis and their miraculous should not be used for selfish gain,” Ladybug looked up as Chat raised an eyebrow at her.

“But would it really be a bad idea? I mean, they are interfering with your daily life and our ability to do our jobs. At what point does selfish gain become keeping the city safe?”

Ladybug sighed. “Chat, we just have to deal with it. I don’t know what else to do at this point. Hopefully no one else gets aumatized over it.”

“I know what you mean. Any more and I’ll lose the bet with Alya.”

Chat Noir’s laughter filled the air as Ladybug jumped up to tackle him.

~~~

The ‘Ladrien’ headlines finally ended 3 weeks after the initial photos were taken … only to be trumped by a photo of Chat Noir kissing Marinette on the balcony of her apartment.

When she threatened to throw him off the Eiffel Tower the next day, there was genuine fear she meant it.

[cristinablackthornkingson]

My thoughts/comments on roughly pages 700-900 of COI.

**TW/CW**

Alcoholism

Miscarriage

Child trafficking

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Matthew and Elias are more alike than Cordelia thinks, Matthew is just a nicer drunk than Elias. They both have/had their demons and use alcohol as an attempted escape, let's just hope things turn out better for Matthew than they did Elias .

Ahhh I really hope there isnt going to be a love triangle between Matthew, Cordelia and James, unless they become a throuple, but I am more so rooting for MatthewxLucie. Isnt Jesse like 8 years older than Lucie? I mean I guess he's technically forever 17 and doesnt have much more life experience than her but still, I prefer them as besties.

Grace leave James alone!

Uh yeah Grace no duh the Bridgestocks dont like you, you're the woman Charles left Ariadne for, that could have ruined her reputation

GRACE FUCK OFF!

JAMES DO NOT KISS HER, Tessa needs to get back and slap some sense into her son jfc!

DAMMIT JAMES!!!

"I should go" Yes you should! And leave James the fuck alone!

The Famer at the Barrow is Wayland the Smith, calling it now

Yep I knew it!

I want a crossover series where Cortana meets Sumabrander/Jack from Magnus Chase 😂😂

Wayland the Smith wants payment for healing Cortana, uh oh, all magic comes with a price

Wait what is a paladin? Does Wayland want Cordelia to find the killer and stop the killings? Has she not already sworn fealty to Cortana? - Oh no she swore fealty to Wayland, makes sense. Go kick ass Daisy!

Yikes seems as if Lucie's powers might cause some trouble for her

Possible Lucie and Ariadne friendship? Will Lucie help her and Anna get back together?

Okay I fear for Lucie when Grace tells Malcolm about Annabell.

Always thought Malcolm was the one who helped Tatianna preserve Jesse's body, apparently not, new character maybe?

Ooh honey, Malcolm this is so much worse than Annabell rejecting you.

Glad to see Lucie inherited Tessa's sensibility

Ariadne and Anna being Lucie's protective yet kickass lesbian cousins, we stan

Awwww Anna calling Lucie "ducks" 🥺

Oh my God Grace was trafficked??? Tatiana is a child trafficker? As are the Cartwrights? Holy fuck poor Grace!

I hope James is okay, I wonder if he'll tell them about Grace? Or that hes in love with Cordelia? Or that he might be possessed by the killer?

I fucking love Anna fussing over Lucie and calling her pet names, more Anna and her cousins being wholesome please!

But surely Belial cant posses James? He had the spells of protection placed on him as a baby, and he didnt actually die in COG, like Jace did in City of Glass, but maybe its different because he is half Warlock and related to Belial?

Raum venom in my shoe, oh Christopher, never change ❤

"I think he is possessed" said Thomas "He is defacing a book" LMAOOOOOOO throw that shade Tommy!

"He felt an odd sensation, tingling between his shoulder blades, apprehension perhaps?" Jamie, sweetie, I'm demiromantic and have never been in love yet even I know you're feeling love and attraction to Cordelia

"Just wound me then, stab me in the leg if you have to" Ah, young love

Hmmm Cordelia and James spending the night in the same room, sexy times to ensue?

A crack in the gracelet? Perhaps James'true love for Cordelia is strong enough to break it? Could be going a OUAT route here, if they have kids they would be the product of true love, and very powerful, could play an important role in the future?

Lmao Cordelia blue balling James as revenge for him kissing Grace, good for you girl, good for you.

Oh Thomas POV, hope we get some Thomastair interaction, first kiss maybe?

I hope Anna and Thomas dont go in search of the killer, surely Anna is going to tell him to get his ass back inside? Or maybe she's about to talk to him about his feelings for Alastair? Is this gonna be the equivalent of Nora having to confirm to Alex that he's bi?

Nope the dumbass is going on patrol alone, I'm scared for him. Maybe he'll run into Alastair and they'll patrol together and talk about their feelings?

No James you love Cordelia, not Grace. Snap out of it man!

Jamie baby you owe no one anything, please talk to your parents and Jem!

Uh oh killers POV with Thomas out alone, I'm scared

Oh God the killer noticed Thomas and now we have a Thomas POV, I dont like where this is going. Alastair come save your man!

Nooo poor Lillian. I'm still scared for Thomas though, I think the killer is trying to lure him in

Uh oh, Thomas is about to get in so much trouble

Sshhhhiittt poor Thomas. Charlotte can surely help him tho, right? She knows he would never kill someone

Oooh so James has been going out in his sleep to try and stop the killer?

Is Enoch gonna tell them about Thomas' arrest? Will he be able to help Thomas?

I want a brother Enoch backstory!

Alastair was so following Thomas for his own peace of mind, and to protect him because he loves him.

I wonder why Bridgestock has it in for Thomas.

Consul Charlotte reminds me of President Ellen Claremont, I love it.

I think the pithos is what the killer used to remove the runes

I wonder if there's gonna be some Thomastair angst and confessions now they're locked in the sanctuary together for a day.

Why is the mortal sword in Paris? Seemingly with Will and Tessa? Was Charles tried by the mortal sword?

Charlotte and Henry have been TTC for years now with no results, my theory is that the miscarriage was complicated and caused a lot of scar tissue, and now Charlotte cant get pregnant, so once her time as Consul is up (which is presumably soon, given how the merry thieves theorize that Bridgestock is vying for Consul next term) she and Henry will adopt, either twin girls or 2 girls close in age, like 2/3 year age gap at max.

I really like Eugenia and would like to read more about her.

Alastair comforting Cordelia is so sweet, they are such an iconic sibling duo.

James thinking of Matthew, Christopher and Thomas as his brother's is so wholesome and sweet, I adore it!

[lovecanbesostrange]

#we deserved more scenes with David and Ruby restoring some order#because of course they do in Snow's absence#and also I will never be tired of shepherd and wolf moments#(oh S2 began with the most wonderful set-ups) YES we deserved more scenes! They could've been a power Throuple! Also, I still feel like first half of season 2 was the best.

The beginning of S2 is so amazing. What I love most is how they resolved this whole issue with Emma suddenly having to believe in everything. Including that these are indeed her parents. Who abandoned her (for what they thought of as good reason, but she was ALONE), Send them to the Enchanted Forest, where she can’t run from Mary Margaret, where she has to learn some things the hard way and where she gets to meet Snow fucking White. Fierce protector of what she loves. (And the side-story with Sleeping Warrior is icing on the cake... until they suddenly run off to revive Philip... because...... well... they can??????)

The emotional investment seeing Cora scheme, Regina’s struggle with everything, I even enjoy seeing this evil side of Gold who is all like “magic is power and I want power” and Belle is just “but why? can’t I be enough”. If Hook was just the fun rapscalion and didn’t project “love interest here” from the start without work from the writers... oh S2 was brilliant. Cora’s death! And the aftermath! The way Greg and Tamara are set up (oh, having Sonequa Martin Green on the show...)

But yeah, in the midst of it all in the chaotic new awakening, we had David who lost his wife and daughter through a portal, holding things together. And he could rely on Ruby. Because she was there for the whole story (even if it doesn’t look like it, because the flashbacks leave out a lot and later seasons... well.... she was there in spirit! Always!). And yes, this is a time where I am absolutely down with a throuple, like we say now. The polyamory solution to everything! They can just work on so many levels. (I also like to imagine Grumpy having the laughing fit of his life when he finds out that David isn’t Prince James, but really a poor commoner. “A shepherd? And a wolf? In your bed together??”)

Imagine the writers had taken some time to let the group catch up after Mary Margaret’s and Emma’s return. Okay, I think the bit in the hospital is super funny (”like some kind of Frankenstein” “yep, that’s Whale” and the whole reviving Daniel thing etc lol ). But also a bit more. For the emotions. This feeling what it means that David and Ruby did their best, even though the center of their universe was missing. (Eddie and Adam could materialize in my room and tell me that Red never had a crush on Snow and I would shoot laserbeams out of my eyes and tell them they’re wrong).

The most important reason why Red is totally squeezing in with this One True Love couple to end all True Love couples? She helps raise Emma in a time without the curse (of course, again, wish!verse didn’t have Red, because of stupid decisions, which is why wish!verse is lacking a key ingredient). Why else does everybody agree to let Ruby babysit Henry without a question? Because that would’ve been her role as secondary mom//godmother//wild-forest-aunt. Emma barely got a chance to talk to Ruby after the curse broke. How stupid is that?? Emma never even met the wolf.

Which then led to that weird nightmare moment at the end of S5 that doesn’t make an ounce of sense. “Dreaming” about a beast killing Snow to then find it’s Red...... what even......... no, no, no, no. I want Red running around with Charming more. Terrible jokes about eating sheep and neither actually being fit for royal drama. I need them to argue who’s turn it is to hold Snow back from doing something reckless. (This is Red’s fault, when they met she was suddenly “let’s kill the wolf” and ever since Snow has become more and more of a daredevil with a let’s-do-the-thing-attitude. Consequences? Ha!... well and then comes regret.)

Put it in the subtext............ after Snow gets back her throne, Red holds on to all her bandit!Snow clothes and keeps every trinket from those days safe.