#this is MY house i do what i want. yeehaw

[marshmellowtea]

it's been too long since i've properly written diapers in any fics i keep getting flustered in the middle of writing this ghlkasdjfkldasjf

[pedge-page]

What about Joel having to spend a night away for work last minute and reader sulking about it when he gets home and blanking him? 🤣 Cue grovelling from Joel lol

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Late From Work

Notes: I must be too yeehaw American because I had to look up what "blanking" someone meant 😂. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this! Decided to make him late rather than spending a whole night away because lets be real, she'd be serving divorce papers for that.

Warnings: brief oral (f receiving) scene; jealous!Reader, Stubborn reader is BACK

18+ ONLY:

- - - -

He knows he fucked up too. Big time. 

When he said he’d be home at the latest by 7:00pm and it’s now 7:02 and he’s just getting in the truck leaving the site. And when his call goes to voicemail for the 3rd time, and then the fourth time tells him that the number is no longer valid (he’s been blocked), he knows he’s in Big-Fucking-Trouble.

Doesn’t want to call Tommy up for help to coax partially because he wants to fix this own his own, and partially to save Tommy from your wrath you most certainly will take out on him rather than your absent husband.

He grabbed a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store (he’s already in the doghouse so what’s another 5 minutes added to his sentence) and is currently speeding home, a solid 15mph over the limit. Tonight isn’t even anything special: you had both just come back from a lovely weekend trip on the coast and were just settling back in to your house. But when Joel doesn’t deliver on his word, isn’t home for pizza and Pepsi, and sitting behind you while rubbings your back and belly for a quiet movie night…

Well, he’s never been late since the start of your pregnancy. Doesn’t want to think what hellfire you’re going to spit at him the moment he walks in that door.

So here he is about to walk in that door. He takes a big breath, not feeling this anxious since the he proposed to you, and steps in.

He immediately makes contact with you: standing at the end of the hall, illuminated by the kitchen light with your extra extra large T shirt stretched over your belly and dangling loosely around your thighs, hands by your side, barefoot, despite how often he nags at you to wear socks around the house so your feet don’t get cold. He’s thankful to see you hadn’t packed a suitcase, trying to leave the house with a “my husband doesn’t love me” stunt again. 

You clearly had just been walking past when you heard the door, not even fully turning to him but just having your head directed to the entrance the second he walked in. You briefly note the flowers in his hands before your eyes quickly go back to his. He feints an apologetic smile, heart beating so hard. You’re soooo quiet. The calm before the storm.

He gulps hard. 

Instead, you turn forward once more and continue walking towards the living room without a word.

You have a hand on your back as you gently collapse onto the couch. 

“Baby,” he says meekly, voice all tiny yet determined.

You pull your legs up over a pillow and fold open your book.

He comes to kneel beside you, immediately kissing your shoulder.

You do nothing. 

“Baby,” he says more clearly. “I’m sorry, honey. I couldn’t beat the time.”

You flip a page, tilting your head to read the fascinating text on the page rather than listen to your poor husband on his knees for you.

His fights with the sleeve of your shirt. Would you at least look at him? He’s holding the flowers still in his hand, big puppy dog eyes trying their best to plea with you, and with his irresistible pouty lips that get him just about anything he wanted from you. But you only lend him a sigh, flipping yet another page.

So it’s gonna be like that.

"Please, angel. I was tryin' so hard to leave on time like I said. They got the concrete all mixed up and it needed to be set today, was tryin' to get out of there, just couldn't get it moving fast enough, I'm sorry baby I really sped over here fast I can to see ya, couldn't wait a second longer—"

“Oh!” You gasp suddenly.

He’s started, but nonetheless quick to be by you.

You check the clock on the wall and laugh. Time had gotten away from you too. You slam your book and hoist yourself up, on the other end of the couch to avoid his anxious hands fluttering to your aid. You brush past him and start your climb up the stairs.

Joel is right behind you, a bit of hope stirring in him. Its not until you’re walking through your bedroom door—and slamming it right in his face that he gets the message loud and clear.

Perhaps he earned a night on the couch to pray your forgiveness. After finding a suitable vase for the roses, he puffs up his pillow, his back killing him (though he’d never say it aloud while you’re waddling around with a whole 'nother being in your belly for the last few months) and crashes down on the sofa.

He just makes out the light go off under the door in the bedroom before he too is closing his eyes.

Tomorrow brings a new day, and he’s gonna spend every second satisfying his wife. He’s deserves his stay on the couch tonight.

-

He did NOT deserve this bullshit.

It’s been 3 fucking days since he came home late.

3 days of waking up early, trying to kiss his beautiful wife and baby momma with sweet affirmations and praises, which you dodge and continue about your stubborn ignoring-test. He spent all morning cooking every single food you’d craved since your pregnancy started—waffles, French toast, cinnamon pancakes, toast with special mixed fruit jam you can only get at a grocery store an hour away, scrambled, over easy, poached, hard boiled eggs. All arranged so beautifully on the table, even going as far to put the napkins on the left, after you screeched at him a few months ago for haphazardly having them on either the right or left, and never with the fork consistently on top.

He thought he’d learned his lesson, thought he made more than enough up to you, but no. You breeze right by, making a cup of tea, and go back upstairs to your closed door.

Your sadistic mind had given him false hope when you hadn’t locked the door on him on night number two. He slept in his bed, but you had made a clear parry by slotting between the two of you the infernal pregnancy pillow that Joel had kept in storage since you “Much preferred your husband’s plushy belly and soothing rubs.” 

Fat chance tonight.

Every minute he wasn’t telling you how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how lucky he is, he spends groveling with please forgive me, I’m so sorry, I’m such a worm.

None of it sways you any differently. 

By day 4, he’s given up the sweet talk and grand gestures. Goes for a “think like her” kind of mental approach. 

He tries to bribe you—either making you a Pepsi float, or even bringing home the famous Hot Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with EXTRA Rainbow sprinkles. But even as he temptingly waves in front of your little wiggly nose, you don’t acknowledge him.

He makes a big show to sigh heavily in defeat, leaving it on the kitchen table alone and trotting helplessly upstairs for a shower.

Less than 7 minutes later he’s come back down to see if you’d given in yet, maybe even telling him what a fantastic husband he is while shoveling your face with ice cream and admitting you were being dramatic. 

Instead, you’re still sitting on the couch, exactly as he left you. Of course, the milkshake cup is completely empty, sucked clean of its gooeyness, and there’s a little splotch of chocolate sauce lingering on your chin you had failed to wipe clean. 

A start, he thinks.

Still though, you don’t pay him any mind, scrolling on your phone with tight lips.  

He wonders how long you could go on with this game.  

It’s honestly a fucking terrible miracle—not even since before you were pregnant had you gone this long shutting the fuck up. But now its horrifyingly eerie, like a curse has fallen upon him and he’s doing everything he can to break it, to bring back your nagging and bitching and whining and crying because it would be so much more relaxing than this new kind of psychotic hell you’ve subjected him to.

He starts getting a little more involved: playing with your body, touching you softly with gentle strokes along your thighs and belly. You hadn’t flinched away, or tried moving to another spot on the couch. 

Which confirmed one thing to him: your horniness and lack of physical attention from your husband due to your stubborn mind was losing your mental battle to hold out against him.

So Joel doesn’t say anything either as he moves his lips over your breasts, down your swollen belly and kissing his babygirl in your bump. He mumbles, “Mommy is awfully mad at Daddy, think I can cheer her up?” 

The baby kicks as if in agreement. His gaze glances up briefly to see if you’re listening.

Your eyes catch and yours quickly dart away, leaning back and pretending to yawn. He snickers before continuing his hot trail of open mouthed kisses until your legs “shift” and “accidentally” part on their own.

He makes sweet, insatiable yet slow love to your pussy, licking a fat strip from your little clenched hole to that hot delicious center that is beyond wet for him—yet another example of how much your body clearly can’t ignore him forever.

But, ever as he brings you to a long needed orgasm, you bite your tongue, absolutely refusing to give him even the slightest sound of satisfaction despite clenching tightly around his thick digits pumping into you. Only letting out a strangled breath through your nose while you stare up to the ceiling, fingers folded across your tummy as if bored. 

He wipes away the slick from his mustache. Hell, even he can admit you deserve an applaud for making it through that without uttering a peep to his skills.

Hurts like hell on the inside though that you’re just that mad still.

He had hoped that being forced to drive with him due to your size preventing you from sitting behind the wheel would corner you into talking him, but even then, as he opens the passenger door for you, you climb aboard and slam the door shut without his assistance.

Now the two of you are on your way to yours and Maria’s weekend brunch. Tommy was also coming to drop his girlfriend off, so it would be a good time to catch him up on this unqiuely-pregnant-you madness.

You snatch your purse and hop out of the car, mood going a full 180 and instantly greeting Maria with a warm hug and perky voice. The two of you sit down at a little table way aways from your idiot husband and brother in law.

Tommy nods him over to the bar and Joel grumbles over.

“She ignoring you?” His little brother asks while shelling peanuts.

“Is it that obvious?” Joel shakes his head. He can’t even leave off with Tommy because he knows you won’t answer his texts asking what time you’re done for pickup. So he’s stuck here to wait for you the entire time.

“You try going down on—“

“Yes! Yes I fucking tried.”

“She didn’t like it?”

“Oh no, she came hard. Wouldn’t even whimper for me when she was clenching her little cunt around my fingers—” he says with an aggressive whisper, his pointer and middle fingers shooting up in the air with wild eyes demonstrating the scene, “—and her little numb twitchin’ on my tongue. Didn’t even fucking moan. She’s a stubborn girl but I don’t deserve that.”

Tommy shakes his head with a chuckle. “Damn. That’s just determination right there. Gotta give it to her.”

Tommy excuses himself with a slap to the shoulder, muttering “gotta take a leak” and disappears to the bathroom.

Joel wouldn’t mind having a drink right now, but know’s he’s gotta stay sober to drive you home. A miserable, silent filled drive once again. He glanced at his watch, following each tick of the hand.

“Hi there.”

Joel almost didn’t address the voice of the woman who had gentle snuck up behind him, moving to take Tommy’s seat. She’s probably a little younger than you, a nice kind smile, inviting and warm towards a stranger. 

Joel politely smiles back with a little nod. 

She offers a sweet “thanks”, a blush creeping on her cheeks before she begins to speak: “Listen, I don’t mean to prude… but I saw you come in and ...I’m usually not so brash—but I was wondering…”

-

Meanwhile, your baby is beat boxing extra hard today in your stomach. You can’t even focus on eating your salad and keeping up with Maria’s chatter about Tommy’s nose hairs all over the vanity. 

Your baby is smart. She knows something is up. You narrow your eyes and look around, finding Joel and company at the bar— 

Except the company he is keeping is NOT Tommy but instead, a gorgeous woman tossing her hair and flashing her pearly white teeth off at your husband, who’s giving her his full attention. She’s giggling with him, taking animatedly with her hands, lingering heavy eye contact and touching his watch as if looking for an excuse to get closer.

You forget about the massive planet sized lump in your belly as you instantly stand up, nearly tipping the table and all its dishes and cutlery over. 

Maria is calling your name but you don’t have the mind to answer, striding over like a bull towards the bar.

-

“Hiiiiiiii!”

Joel and the woman both jump at the harsh shrill of an annoying, high pitched, slightly perturbed but faking a smile, voice screeching behind them—the most beautiful voice Joel’s ever heard…and had missed so dearly this week.  

The woman looks over to you, seemingly startled that you had interrupted the conversation so brazenly.

“Oh, um, hi,” she offers, blinking off your pregnant belly and abrupt appearance.

“This is Joel,” you boast, pointing the shlump of a man in front of her.

“Ah-Hello—“ she smiles again to him.

You add quickly. “He’s my husband.”

“Oh.”

“And I’m his wife.”

“Ah—I—“

“Annnnnnnnd this is our baby!” You boast, proudly rubbing over that enormous swell of your tumtum so she can see in case it wasn’t the biggest fucking thing in this room. “And… you are?” You ask sweetly.

“Um…” she takes one last glance at Joel, his apologetic shrug saying everything then at you, your hard gaze burning holes into her head. “…leaving,” she says towards you.

“Great answer. I like you :) Bye Bye now!” You wave enthusiastically with a chipper voice and a deadly smile. She nods fretfully and pops off the stool, walking away like a threatened animal.

He just chuckles, shaking his head and looking down at his hands with a grin. “Ya know, she just came over to ask where I got my watch.”

“And did you tell her your WIFE bought it?” You ask, poking your finger at his chest.

He has to hide his crooked smile. It’s the first time you’ve directly spoken to him since Monday. “Yeah, I did. She asked where ya got it, because she was looking for one just like it—for her husband.”

Your finger fidgets slightly, expression drawing a blank at the revelation turning over in your mind.

“……………………………………………....................................oh.”

He rotates his stool to face you. You’re steeping in your thoughts, the confidence faltering just slightly in your mind at the realization of how grossly you had interpreted the situation between that innocent woman and your hubby. He didn’t even care, though. All he could think about was how his heart feels 10x lighter seeing you back in your usual, bold, daring, audacious self. All of your attention on him once again.

“I’ll admit, still felt good havin’ ya come to my rescue.”

You scoff, near offended by his words. “Well duh, you’re mine.”

“That right? Even these last few days?”

Yet another bomb goes off in your head at the second realization—that you had forfeited your punishment to ignore him to the ends of the earth.

 You cross your arms defensively anyway. “Well... I…decided.”

“Mmm?”

“That…I needed a back rub. But you clearly you can’t pick up on that on your own so—now I have to verbally tell you.”

“Ah huh. Sure it wasn’t cuz you were jealous? Couldn’t stand me being interested in another woman since my own made it clear she didn’t want me no more? Because my wife decided she couldn’t be patient and wait the extra 13 minutes I was running late before punishin’ me all goddamn week?”

Oh wait—was he really only late by 13 minutes? You could have sworn it was an hour plus!

“That wasn’t 13 minutes! Do you know how to tell time? It was over an hour—“

“Did you set your clock back like I told you to the night before when we got back from the coast, into our own time zone?”

😳

- - - -

Also this is how I see reader getting ate out but trying to be nonchalaunt about it:

conveniently also my favorite shot of Pedro during a photoshoot

Permanent taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee

[starbop]

How SMELLY all the Honkai Boys are...

Here's my ranking of HSR boys based on how much I think they smell. Explanations + headcanons below the cut!

The Top Stinkers

Caelus literally digs through garbage for fun. I don't think I need to defend their spot as the #1 stinkiest mf in this whole game. 11/10 on the stink scale.

Sampo also has the energy of someone who enjoys garbage. I, for one, have no idea where that thing has been and I don't think I want to know. He is also known to hide in piles of snow when need be, meaning he's just out there rolling around on the ground sometimes. 10/10 would not sniff again.

Luka is the sweatiest man alive. But he looks SO good doing it. The sparks and smoke his arm produces, while very cool to look at, do not help his smelliness rating. 8/10 because he at least has good reasons for smelling funky.

I do not think Blade has ever taken a shower. You could fry a whole chicken with the oil from his hair. 9/10.

Boothill smells like a mixture of motor oil, grease, and sweat. Not a smell I would personally hate, but objectively not a good one. Yeehaw/10.

The Smelly

I feel like, in theory, you could smell like anything in the Dreamscape. I just also feel like Gallagher would not choose to smell good. 7/10.

I really want to believe that he'd smell good, but the second he finishes his magical girl transformation sequence, Imbibitor Lunae reeks with the smell of seaweed. I will deduct a stinky point from my initial rating because some people may think this smells good. They are wrong. 7/10.

Neutral Smelling

Yanqing should reek from all the time he spends fighting and training, but Jing Yuan is not letting that boy leave the house without taking a bath. 6/10.

Arlan bathes regularly, but I can't imagine him having a particularly strong smell. Asta will occasionally gift him some lightly scented soaps, though. If anything, he smells vaguely like Peppy. 5/10.

Gepard might get a little sweaty under all those layers, but he doesn't have a strong scent one way or the other. 4/10.

I Am Sniffing Respectfully

I just KNOW that the Astral Express has the nicest bathrooms in the universe. Dan Heng and Welt stay smelling FRESH. 3/10.

(Though Dan Heng has ended up smelling like bubblegum on a few occasions after borrowing March's shampoo...)

Misha smells like a sweet dream. I don't know what dreams smell like, but that's the only way to describe Misha's scent. Vaguely like cotton candy, perhaps. Ethereal/10.

Jing Yuan takes bubble baths with Mimi and you can NOT change my mind. I can totally picture him dozing off peacefully after a nice, warm bath. I-can-overlook-the-cat-hair/10.

We've seen Ratio take SO many baths at this point that I don't think you could find a single speck of dirt on that man's perfect body if you tried. How are his fingers not just permanently pruney? I hate him so much. 1/10.

I AM SNIFFING DISRESPECTFULLY

Argenti smells like roses and sunshine. 0/10 smelliness can I please bottle your sweat sir

Luocha has to smell great with all those flowers he summons. I would grind him down to make potpourri. Not sure about the coffin, though. -2/10.

And as for Aventurine? Cologne. SO much cologne. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to you, but he certainly has A Smell. Subjective/10.

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 1

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: Joel is a simple man. He goes to work, he takes care of his kindergarten age daughter, he tries to make sure Tommy doesn't die and occasionally Tess comes over. He works on Frank and Bill's farm with Tommy, Tess, and another coworker, Max. For his birthday, Tommy drags Joel out to a local grunge band's show, music he knows Joel hates. Joel is surprised to find Tess's girlfriends best friend, a girl they all call Blue because of the blue in her hair, has caught his attention.

What he doesn't know is she is trans. When he finds out, he's very confused, not because he judges her, but because he's not sure what it means for him. Does it make him gay? What does trans even mean? He's very confused. Still, despite all the confusion Joel has an open mind and he just knows that he has a lot of feelings for you and he wants to try. Joel goes on a journey of learning, not only what your trans identity means but also how to take care of himself, how to set boundaries, and learning he doesn't need carry the whole world on his shoulders.

Joel loves country, is as yeehaw as they come. Blue loves grunge, and looking as edgy as she can get by as a school teacher. Can you and Joel make it all work with the one thing that bonds them both together; flannel?

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: I am not a trans woman, but I am trans. I am doing my best research! If I got something wrong or accidentally say something offensive, please tell me! Same with Sarah's hair. I learned a LOT about black hair care from living with my black roommate for 2 years, and watching a lot of youtube. Again, if im incorrect or offensive, let me know and ill correct! I just want Joel to care about his daughters hair <3

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

It all started with Tommy, as most adventures do. Joel was certain Tommy would make sure to mention that fact during his best man speech.

“You have got to get out more. You’re making me stir crazy just watching you sit at home.”

Joel rolled his eyes, packing Sarah’s lunch. He was happy to throw in some plums, Sarah’s favorite fruit, that he got from the food pantry. Since Sarah started kindergarten and he didn’t have to pay for nearly as much childcare, things had gotten less horrifically tight financially but now he was playing catch up. Catching pneumonia last winter had drained his little savings with an ER visit. Joel desperately wanted to not rely on charity, but he also didn’t want Sarah to go without. 

“How would you know, you’re never even home.” Since getting out of the army, Tommy has not adjusted well. Joel was happy to let him live in the house he built for his ex-fiance on his parents land they gifted when Sarah was born. Tommy was a help with Sarah and was good company when he wasn’t out partying.

“Hey.” Tommy looked a little offended. “I’m here plenty. Just ask Sarah.” Sarah adored her uncle.

Joel sighed. “You’re right.” He wasn’t. “But I ain’t going. I can’t afford that, and I’d like to spend my days off with Sarah.”

Tommy tossed a cosmic brownie from the box he bought into Sarah’s lunchbox. “Come oooooon. Sarah loves the babysitter, and one night out won’t traumatize her forever. I’ll pay for the sitter, I already got tickets and I’ll even cover your drinks.”

Joel would rather the money go towards Sarah’s next dental appointment, but he couldn’t tell Tommy where to spend his money, and he knew there was no saying no to his brother when he gets like this. “How many bands are playing? I ain’t sitting through three openers, Tom.”

“Just one! You’re coming!” Tommy ran out of the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time before Joel could protest. “Sarah! Guess who gets to hang out with Jessica tonight!” Joel could hear the sound of springs bouncing as Sarah cheered and called out if the bed breaks, Tommy’s fixing it.

After getting Sarah dressed, he sat her down on a chair in the kitchen and looked at the clock. “Only got time for a ponytail, baby girl.” Joel had figured out some simple hair care for thick hair he wasn’t quite equipped to work with. Before Sarah was born, he didn’t know how to do a single braid. Joel had practiced a little before Tommy had to chop off his hippie curls for the army but he still was lost in a lot of ways. 2 years ago, Joel must’ve looked particularly lost in the ethnic hair aisle with Sarah in the cart and a kind woman guided him to some hair gel, argan oil, and an edge brush, scribbling a few instructions on some scratch paper. That’s what's gotten him through this far. Joel kept thinking he needed to reach out somewhere or maybe find a book… but with what time? 

Kayla, Sarah’s mom, wasn’t much help either. Kayla was mixed and absolutely inherited the polish side as far as hair, where Sarah got her late grandma’s genes. Kayla wanted to chemically straighten Sarah’s beautiful curls last year when she had her over Easter, but Joel put his foot down. When she was older, if she wanted to do whatever she wanted with her hair, braids, relaxed, wigs, she could but there was no way he was letting all those chemicals into a 4 year olds head just to make it “easier.” Joel could handle it.

She looked cute with her little puffball on the top of her head, anyway. 

“TOMMY! LETS GO!” Why was Tommy harder to get out the door than Sarah was?

Little hands tugged at his shirt. “Daddy I want coffee.” 

“No baby”

“Why?”

“It’s not good for little kids.”

“Uncle Tommy lets me have coffee.”

Joel sighed loudly. “Of course he did. Well, Sarah, that’s an uncle thing, I don’t know what to tell you. TOMMYYY!”

Tommy’s heavy footsteps clomped down the steps, dashing out the door. “Come one Jojo, whatcha wait’n for?”

*

How did little kids have so much energy in the morning? Tommy included. Sarah was chatty as ever on her way, talking excitedly about the eggs in the classroom's incubator. He tried to pay attention, he really did, but he was busy trying to figure out what bills he still owes. It was only September, one month into not having to pay out the ass for Sarah’s daycare. Was he even gonna be able to catch up at all before the summer comes? Her mom said she wanted to take her for the summer, but she was single right now and slightly more involved. When she finds a new man, she suddenly becomes much less interested in her child. Joel didn’t want Sarah around strange men all the time either.

“Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?”

Tommy nudged Joel, calling him name for Sarah’s attention.

“What?” Joel said, not unkindly but perhaps a little too harsh than he wanted to speak around his daughter. 

“Happy birthday daddy.”

Joel closed his eyes briefly, wincing at his prior tone. “Thank you baby. I’ll bring home a cake, how about that.” He felt like he could cry, snapping at his sweet girl for trying to wish him happy birthday. He was so bad at this.

Both children in the car cheered.

Joel dropped Sarah off with several kisses on her forehead, then ran off to the truck. He might just be on time if he speeds a bit. He didn’t speed with Sarah in the truck, he was less careful with Tommy. 

“Just in time!” Tess’s voice greeted them in the farm house. “You guys eat?”

She knew the answer. Sarah’s kindergarten had a free breakfast program, leaving Joel and Tommy on their own and god knows they didn’t take proper care of themselves. Luckily, they had great bosses.

Joel, Tommy, and Tess all worked for Bill and Frank on their farm. Joel had stumbled on this job shortly after Kayla left and God, what a blessing. Bill and Frank had trouble finding help being the only gay farmers on the planet to felt like, but Joel wasn’t really in a position to deny a good paying job, not in this economy, not with a baby who barely had a mom around anymore. This was before Tommy came back from the army, and Joel’s parents dead a few years prior. He was alone.

That’s where he met Tess. She was something else. A woman working as a farm hand alone was surprising enough, but she was the first openly bisexual person Joel had met. Hell, she was the only the third gay person he knew of and the first woman. He’d lived a sheltered life. Still, Joel didn’t really see an issue with none of it. Wasn’t his business what two grown adults did, that was his thought on the matter. Not that he really had enough time to have thoughts on much of anything other than keeping Sarah and Tommy alive. When Tommy came back, he started working on the farm too.

Tess slid the men some pancakes, stating she knew it and went ahead and made extra.

Frank entered the room with something in his hand. “Wait!” He placed the item, which Joel saw was a candle on the the pancake.

“Oh, no, you guys don’t gotta-”

“Shut the hell up, Miller.” Bill entered the room with a pack of cigarettes in one hand and a lighter in the other. He lit the candle, and then a cigarette. 

Frank took it out of his hand, putting it out under the sink. “If you absolutely must smoke, you’re not smoking inside our home.” He then turned back to Joel. “Happy birthday, Joel.” The forth employee, Max, enters the farmhouse and then embarrassingly, Franks leads everyone (except Bill) in a very shitty rendition of happy birthday.

*

“Hey,” Tess nudged Joel as she attempted to fix the clutch without calling Bill up. “You coming tonight?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Tommy convinced me. He also told Sarah it’s my birthday so now I gotta bring home cake and do a bit of the birthday thing with her. I was hoping to avoid it another year.”

She laughed at that. “Ah come on! It can’t be that bad.”

“She’s not, it’s my birthday that is.” 

“I know.” Tess patted his back.

Joel and her worked in silence for a moment, but he figured this was as good a time as any. “Hey uh… so. You and Tommy.”

Tess smirked, but didn’t look at him. “What about my dear friend?”

“Well uh, that’s just it…” Joel cleared his troat, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just, you guys been spending a lot of time together, and I’m just… well you know he’s at tough spot right now…-”

“When isn’t he?”

“Right. Well. I’m just wondering… Well.”

With a chuckle, she put down the wrench and turned to look at Joel with a smile. “You’re wondering if Tommy and I are an item.”

Cringing hard enough his eyes were closed, Joel nods.

“Don’t worry about your baby brother, he can handle himself.”

“Can he?”

“Joel. Look at me.”

Joel forced his eyes open.

“Tommy and I fuck sometimes to blow off steam, don’t act you’re much different.”

“It was one time!”

“It was 4 times, glad to know that I’m that forgettable.” Tess continued with her teasing before Joel could protest. “Listen, I know you’re worried about him, but Tommy and I aren’t interested in dating each other. It’s just for fun sometimes. Tommy puts up a tough front but I’d eat that boy alive.”

Finally, Joel laughed. Yes, she would.

Tess went back to work. “Besides, you’re meeting my new girlfriend tonight, birthday boy.”

*

Joel was exhausted, washing his hands and forearms and face before leaving to get Sarah. He tried to stay as clean as possible for Sarah. She didn’t need to know how hard he worked for her.

“Hey Joel, I get to watch Sarah this fall don’t I?” Frank asked as he sauntered into the kitchen. 

Joel tried to protest, as he did every year, but it was merely a formality to be polite. He couldn’t afford childcare in the late hours it took to get harvest done. Hopefully it wouldn’t be so bad now that Max was hired on, he didn’t see Sarah hardly at all harvest. Joel would come back to the farmhouse to find Sarah asleep on the couch with Frank, who was no help with farming. He handled the finances and paperwork, and functioned as a babysitter in pinches. Joel was forever indebted to the couple, inclduding Bill despite his facade of toughness.

“Nonsense Joel. I look forward to seeing her every time.” Sarah fucking loved Frank. He was teaching her painting and how to have a proper tea party, real tea and all. But with a lot of sugar. 

Speaking earnestly, Joel tried to express his appreciation. “Thanks, Frank. I appreciate it. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Frank clapped Joel on the shoulders, sliding him a card. “Thank you for everything you do. We really value you. I know Bill doesn’t say it much, or at all, but we appreciate you here.” He walked off, knowing Joel would protest the $500 cash inside the card.

*

“Daddy! Daddy! I made a friend!” Sarah exclaimed excitedly, running up to her father still covered in her paint smock that quickly transferred the red and blue onto Joel’s jeans.

“Is that so? Who is it?”

Sarah pointed to a little brunette girl sitting in time out. “That’s Ellie! She’s in trouble because she pretended a block was a gun.”

“Oh.”

*

At home, Joel went through the evening routine with Sarah, Tommy having gone with Tess to pre-game. He fed her as much of the macaroni she’d eat, bathed her and made sure to make things as easy for the sitter as possible. When Jessica came over, a nice local teenager that was great with Sarah, he briefed her as he tried to clean up the kitchen. 

“Daddy? Where’s the cake.”

Goddammit of course he forgot something. He just can’t do anything right, can he? He was a shitty dad, a shitty brother, a shitty boyfriend, a needy employee-

“Where's the birthday boy!” Tommy burst in, followed by a group of people, some he knew, some he didn’t. With him was Tess carrying a cake.

“TESS!!!!!!” Sarah shouted, but went more for the cake she carried.

“Hiya, love bug!” She patted her ponytail. “Ready to sing happy birthday at the top of your lungs?”

Hadn’t she had enough happy birthdays? She must’ve known he’d forget the cake. They hadn’t been pregaming at all, they were making him a cake.

Tess hands the cake to Tommy, then gestures to the women next to her. Dark skinned, tall, her hair in… locks? Were those called locks? He was cooked. He needs to learn hair. “This is Talia, my girlfriend.”

Talia smiled brightly, extended a hand which Joel shook. “So nice to meet you, Mr. Miller. Tess talks a lot about you Tommy and Max, it’s nice to put faces to the names.”

“Please, Joel is fine. I may ache like an old man, but I’m not one yet.” Joel joked with a soft but tired smile. He turned to tess. “Max coming?”

“Yup.” She shot him a look to be nice. Joel wasn’t fond of max. Good worker, shit head of a person. Joel knew he couldn’t really blame all Tommy’s shit on bad influences, but Max didn’t help. “And this,” She gestured over to another woman who he had just been too flustered to notice until now. “Is Talia’s best friend.”

You were absolutely fucking stunning, unlike anyting he’d ever seen in his life. Tight white tank top, tight leather pants and a leather jacket. In your hair was a streak of vibrant blue. Your eyes connected with his and for a moment, he forgot about all the other people in the room. 

“Oh, um, hello,” Joel shook your hand when he snapped out of it, repeating your name.

You smile at him. “Actually, most people just call me Blue.”

A small voice from Joel’s hip. “Is that because of your hair? Why is it blue? Are you sick?”

“Sarah! Don’t be rude.”

Chuckling brightly, you promise it’s okay and crouch down to Sarah’s eye level. “I’m not sick. I actually dye it like that.”

“But why?”

Internally, Joel groaned, thinking you’d take offense at the line of questions Sarah’s certainly had ready, but you just answered. “Well, I think it makes me look pretty, just you’re cute hair style makes you look pretty.”

Sarah lit up at that. “My daddy did it!!!”

“He did? That’s so awesome! You have such a nice daddy.”

Sarah nodded in avid agreement. “He’s the BEST!”

Joel couldn’t help smiling at that. He always felt like he was failing her, but she loved him regardless. “I can’t do a lot, but I’m trying to learn. I can do a mean ponytail.” Joel caught Tommy smirking at him.

Once the babysitter took Sarah to wash up for cake, Talia quietly spoke to Joel, still attached to Tess's arm. “Tess told me her mom isn’t really involved. I’d love to help you learn how to care for black hair.”

Joel felt his heart drop. “Oh shit, does it look terrible? I really tried but I don’t even know where to go and-”

Talia cut him off with a laugh and a hand up. “No, not at all! It looks very healthy. I just mean if you’d like to learn how to do more, especially as it gets longer.”

Always embarrassed to ask for help, he always swallowed his pride for Sarah. “Yeah, yeah actually I’d really like that… I’ll play yuh, don’t worry I wouldn’t make you do it for free-”

She attempted to say he didn’t need to pay, but Tess told her it was useless to try and fight. Joel figured the bonus from Bill and Frank could pay for Sarah’s dentist cleaning and the rest he could pay Talia. 

After a terrible happy birthday and saying goodbye to Sarah longer than really necessary, Joel was dragged out of the house to go to some shitty local grunge bands show for his birthday.

Joel fucking hated his birthday.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I can't beleive people actually wanted to read this!!! We need more trans rep in this fandom <3

First chapter setting things up, then one chapter per week for 6 weeks for my Oscar/Pedro pride event!!! each chapter 2-7 will follow themes of the week until the happy end <3

MEET THE OC'S

Talia Monroe

Tess's girlfriend, Blue's bestfriend. Talia is joyfriend and high energy. She offers to help Joel learn black hair to properly care for Sarah.

Max Waltz

Works on the farm with Joel, Tommy, and Tess. Tommy likes him, Joel hates him, Tess ears towards liking him but tries to keep him in check. Max is a generally barzen man, hates his wife, is loud and annoying to Joel.

Kayla Carter

*no face claim right now*

Joel's high school sweetheart and ex-fiance, Sarah's mom. Kayla is in an out of sarah's life, lives out of town and is only around when its convinient, leaving Joel with alone.

I don't do tag lists for one shots but I do still for series so

How to keep up with the series:

Follow About a girl series on tumblr

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I really enjoy writing this series so I hope you like it too <3

KISSES

Please remeber to reblog or comment or engage in some way <3 community keeps us all writing and drawing

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @ashleyfilm @bumblepony @snnyc @casa-boiardi @del-ightfulling @joelsoftie

[pettyprocrastination]

Taste Test

Pairing: Line Cook!Simon Riley x Line Cook!Fem!Reader

Summary: Simon is warned by his manager about the dangers of a workplace romance. You are asked for your opinion on seasoning.

Warnings: profanity and smoking.

Wordcount: 1.3k

Note: take this silly little thing as an apology for my utter lack of activity lately I'm so sorry yall! Made simon a linecook as a little joke au but now its kinda stuck in my head and not leaving lmao. Big thank you to @madhyanas @thesadvampire and @yeehaw-djarin for being my beta readers and editors for this story! I smooch you all <3

__________________

Simon had just finished plating his sixth steak of the night when the manager, Elise, a woman with twitching hands and cold eyes, pokes her head into the kitchen and barks his name. 

“My office.” 

The others snicker and bump shoulders like schoolboys, calling out a jested “fuck did you do this time, Riley?” that he doesn’t bother answering with words so much as a choice hand gesture thrown into the air before he ducks under the door frame and disappears down the hall. 

“You want to tell me what I’m getting chewed out for?” Simon rasps as he tucks his hands into the front pocket of his apron, scarred fingers curling around the carton of cigarettes tucked within it. 

Elise’s office is hardly bigger than the pantry, just large enough for a rickety desk piled with bills and a chair with a threadbare cushion that was all but pressed flat. 

“I’m not reprimanding you, Simon.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Think of what I’m about to say as-” Elise tilts her head, flashing him a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “A preventive measure.” 

Simon fishes out a lighter from his back pocket as she continues. She doesn’t have the energy to tell him to stop.

“What do you think of the new hire?” 

Truthfully, nothing.

You don’t talk much outside of work. While the other cooks are content to crack jokes and tell stories of their weekend to one another as they prepare meals, you have no such social connection to anybody within the kitchen. The only moments Simon had even heard your voice was the rushed announcement of your position behind somebody or when coming around the corner. 

“She’s fine.” He takes a slow drag of his cigarette and exhales, smoke curling from his lips as he speaks. “Does her job and doesn’t bitch like the others.”

“She’s more than fine.” Elise motions to a stapled pack of paper on her desk. 

 “Kid went to culinary school, trained under some big fucking names and even worked at some five-star joints before coming here. All her previous employers say she’s a hard worker who picks up shifts and doesn’t cause trouble.” 

She picks up the paper and points it towards the six foot four cook hunched in her doorway.

“Which is exactly why I’m telling you now that she is off-fucking-limits to you.” 

Simon bites down on his cigarette. “S’cuse me?” 

“Don’t play coy, Riley. You’re far too fucking grown to pretend you don’t know what you do.” 

He does know. Simon is more than aware of the past flings he’s had with multiple servers, none of which have ended on a positive note and all of which resulted in a souring work environment until they up and quit - leaving front of house understaffed until the next poor bastard walked through the door asking about the Help Wanted sign hung outside. 

But the blame can’t be on him entirely, that is. Each doe-eyed waitress entered a fling with the cook knowing good and well what his intentions were, because he had no issue with saying it right to their face. 

‘I’m not looking for a relationship.’ 

Simon is a blunt man. He tells people what he wants because in a world full of dragging feet and double entendres, he values efficiency and honesty above all else. 

“Listen, I’ve never stopped you from dipping your hand in the cookie jar before, but this?” She waves your resume in front of him again. “This right here? Off-limits. If you run this poor girl out and leave us understaffed for the Sunday rush I will fucking gut you myself, Simon.” 

It’s only been a week and a half since you’ve started working with them. Part of him wants to laugh at Elise’s exasperated accusation. That somehow, in the midst of chaotic shifts where several customers complain and a few bar patrons get rowdy enough for him to have to drag them out by the collar, he’d be able to find the fucking time to learn your goddamn name, let alone sweettalk his way between your legs. 

But then he remembers the muffled laugh you hid in your sleeve yesterday when listening to the dishwasher crack jokes during the lunch rush and how you tap the side of your apron in a constant rhythm when looking for something within the kitchen. Simon interrupts his own thoughts and frowns, mildly surprised about just how much he noticed of you from the corner of his eye during the daily lunch rush. Had Elise said nothing, he wouldn’t have cast a second glance in your direction. But now?

“Simon! Are you listening?” 

She may have just cursed herself. 

“Yeah-” He stamps his cigarette out on the ceramic tray on her desk, offering her a dry clip of his voice before turning on his heel. “No fucking the new cook until we find coverage, got it.” 

Simon narrowly avoids a stapler being thrown in his direction before ducking out of her office and back into the kitchen where his coworker grins at him from the sink. 

“So? She fire your dumbass yet?” 

Across the kitchen, you cut onions with a flicking wrist that never ceased movement, brows furrowed and mumbling to yourself. 

Simon hums. 

You’re quite pretty. 

“Not yet.” He rumbles. “She likes my smile too much.” 

You spare Simon a glance as he settles back into his work station next to you before you resume cutting. He notices there’s a scar on your bottom lip, a little sliver of raised skin that goes from the bottom of your chin to the swell of your lower lip. 

“Hey.” 

His voice shakes you from your focus, hands freezing as you turn to look at him, lightly craning your neck to meet his eyes. 

Simon holds out a spoon to you, the other scarred hand hovering beneath to keep it from spilling. 

“Mind giving your opinion? Can’t tell if it needs more garlic.”

There’s a moment where your brows cinch together and you look at him with caution, as if to sniff out any sort of deceit within his offer before you mumble, “Yeah, yeah, okay,” and lean forward. 

There’s no need for him to feed you. You’re a fully grown woman who could take the spoon from his hand with no issue, but Simon finds himself guiding it to your mouth and letting his other hand tuck under your chin in an affectionate gesture far too intimate for the back kitchen of a local restaurant. 

Simon is sure that Elise has cursed him too. He hadn’t given you a second glance or a spare thought since your first day. But now, he watches your eyes flutter shut as you hum at his cooking. 

“Good?” he asks. 

Your tongue darts out to catch a stray droplet of sauce on your lower lip. “Good.” Your lips purse like you have something more to say and you raise your hand, pinching your pointer finger to your thumb in a universal gesture. 

“Could use just a bit more garlic though.” 

There’s a brief moment after you speak where panic fills your eyes as Simon says nothing. Frantic thoughts fill your brain, wondering if that was some sort of test for the new hire that you had failed due to your own personal tastes until the man that towers over you nods. 

“More garlic.” He echoes. With a short nod of his head, he turns back to his station without another word. 

Simon doesn’t speak to you again for the rest of your shift yet at times during the night, where an unexpected pause takes over the kitchen for a brief but appreciated moment of silence, you feel his gaze on the back of your neck. 

When the time of the night comes to hang up your apron and slip through the backdoor, he joins you without a word. A large looming shadow walking in step with your own, unexpected but not unwelcome. He bids you a rasped “ ‘Night” before turning to his car as you unlock your own, offering him a mimic of his words before you drive home. 

You notice in the reflection of your rear view mirror that he doesn’t leave the parking lot right away. But rather chose to wait until you do to finally depart. 

[ramblingoak]

Naps With Copia

Nap #7: Napping With A Monster

~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~

For @ghuleh-recs 💙 who wanted a nap with a certain vampire cowboy…

Yeehaw Dracopia x Reader (this nap is technically part of my cowboy/vampire AU The Vampire's Bride but this can be read on its own!)

These are all stand alone chapters so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft Copia naps.

Warnings: mentions of vampires feeding, slightly suggestive but still sfw, 800 words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

It was strange watching him sleep. 

He was completely still except for the slight up and down movement of his chest.  Swiss had explained that they don’t need to breathe, but mostly they continued to do so out of habit.  Just like how they sometimes ate normal food.  It didn’t do anything to sustain them but sometimes they still enjoyed a more…traditional meal.  

Sometimes they also did it to blend in. 

The old couple that owned the farmhouse seemed oblivious to who they had invited to stay.  Only you and Copia were staying in the house though, the Ghouls were staying in the barn.  It was a decision that Dewdrop had complained loudly about but one low growl from Copia had shut him up.  It was really fascinating to watch how they all interacted with each other and how they respected Copia.  It was obvious though that their respect also came with a healthy dose of fear of their leader which did wonders for keeping them all in line.  

You turned to look around the sparse room but quickly stopped, hissing when the skin around the bites pulled painfully.  He had been on you as soon as the door to the room was closed, pressing you back up against it and mouthing at your neck.  Your cheeks heated up at the memory and then at the memory of all the other times he had fed from you so far.  You hadn’t expected a vampire’s bite to be so—

“You should get some rest.”

His gravelly voice startled you, his accent a little thicker than normal due to how tired he was.  The fight with Mary had taken a lot out of him and even after feeding from you he still needed time to recuperate.  You looked down at your hands and shrugged. 

“I’m not tired.”

“That’s a lie.”  He smirked when you glared at him, your eyes first mesmerized by how bright red his were before trailing down to the blood still staining his mouth.  Your blood.  “I saw you yawning all through dinner.”

“Shouldn’t someone keep watch?”  

“Keep watch from who?  The owners don’t seem the type to kill people in their sleep.”

“What if they realize you’re not…people?”  

“Then I suppose the Ghouls will have something besides deer and rabbits to feed from.”  He held out his hand, the fingers wiggling in the air towards you.  “Come here.”

“Are you still hungry?”  You were crawling towards him anyway so his answer didn’t really matter but you still wanted to know.  “Do you need to feed some more?”

His hands were surprisingly delicate but there was no doubting how strong he was when he easily lifted you up and settled you at his side.  

“I always want to feed from you.”

You shivered at his words, ducking your head down to hide your blush from him.  He probably already knew how much you enjoyed it.  Copia could feel your pulse against his lips and he could hear how fast your heart would start to beat.  You hadn’t even protested the last few times, you had willingly given yourself over to him.  Offering your neck like it was his anytime he wanted it.  

“You can if you need to.”  The unspoken ‘if you want to’ was heavy in the air.  Copia leaned down, sniffing at your neck at first before running his tongue along the fresh bites.  “Please.”

“Such a polite thing you are, even to a monster such as myself.”

You leaned your head back sharply to catch his eyes.  There was a smirk on his face that didn’t match his tone but before you could try to question it you yawned, your mouth opening comically wide.  He raised an eyebrow as you finished, your jaw even popping loudly when you closed your mouth.  It seemed like a silly thing to apologize for but you did it anyway.  

“I’m sorry.  I-I must be more tired than I thought.”

“Then sleep, we can take a little nap together before night falls.”

You weren’t sure what his plans were when that occurred but currently you were too tired to care.  His body was warm thanks to your blood pumping through his veins and you clung to him embarrassingly tight, enjoying the feel of his arms around you.  The excitement of the past few days seemed to have finally caught up with you and it was becoming impossible to keep your eyes open.  

“Copia?”  You waited until you heard his soft ‘hmm?’ before continuing,  “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

His chest vibrated under your hand but you were too close to sleep to tell if he was laughing or grunting to acknowledge what you said.   You let sleep claim you then, your body going slack against the most dangerous man in the Wild West. It was impossible to say if he was a danger to you but deep down it didn’t matter.  

He wasn’t a monster to you anymore.

~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

[feathersandfarmers]

I have more stuff to add to my Kipper timeline/AU! yeehaw!

Kip is around 4 years of age when she gets taken in by the Tweedys.

(Here is the whole page!)

Here is Kip at 4 years old! At this point, she's timid and hardly speaks a word when she meets her aunt and uncle for the first time. Slowly over time, she does warm up to them, and her playful and kind personality finally shows through! Sadly, my timeline starts when she is separated from her mother who is sick in the hospital. While her mum receiving treatment, Kip is sent to live with the Tweedys, (her only living relatives) on their farm!

I love drawing Kip at different ages, it allows me to experiment and gets me thinking about what she is like at different stages of her life!^^

Who did this affect?? The chickens on the farm of course!!

Bunty huffed and crossed her arms as they caught a glimpse of the small child coming out of the farmer's old lorry.

Ginger, a teenage hen, pointed upwards. She used the wing that wasn't injured to point at the red-headed girl following the farmers into the old farmhouse. "Look! who is that?!" She cried.

"Good grief, Bunty grumbled, now we've got a bloomin' THIRD human to watch out for now!"

Babs peeked over Bunty's shoulder with an innocent grin spread across her face. You would have thought she was pleased with the whole situation.

"Perhaps she's just here on holiday!" Babs suggested, peering at the stranger.

Mac adjusted her glasses and simply stared off as the three humans entered the house and shut the door behind them. "Hope'fulleh, Mac added, sheh wun't be much av' o' thrat, bein' just a wean"

The four friends knew this wasn't good. Another human to look out for?? How difficult were their escape plans going to become?? And just who was this child, and what was she doing on the farm??

(I did my best here to make everyone look younger, hopefully, they are still recognizable enough! I imagined Ginger being more or less a teenager at this stage and being rather accident-prone, hence all her bandages..she's not quite good at being an escape artist just yet!)

Again i tried my best to make Willard and Melisha Tweedy look younger!! haha This is Kip, seeing them for the first time. ;v;

Not fully sure for this part of my story yet,,,, but The Tweedys would travel from the Dales to pick their young niece up to live with them. Mrs Tweedy, obviously is not thrilled with the idea...not wanting an extra problem to deal with on top of all the work there is to do on the farm! Mr.Tweedy, on the other hand, is quite excited about it, he always wanted to be a dad.

"Oh hello, little Kipper!, Willard Tweedy greeted sweetly, last time i saw you you were only this big!" The young man made a small shape with his hands, indicating his last encounter with the child was when she had been a baby. Kipper, shy and frightened by having to go live with these strange people, remained silent, staring up at them.

Mrs Tweedy sniffed, looking down at her young niece with very mild interest. That red hair and those freckles...so familiar...and those blue eyes?...she knew them too well....

More thoughts struck her: Another mouth to feed...ugh...She didn't know anything about children...AND she didn't know a thing about being...*gulp* a mother..Hopefully, Kipper's (what a stupid name) stay wasn't going to be for very long and she'd be outta their hair in a fourth night.

"Come along" Melisha Tweedy called out, leading her husband and niece over to the lorry to make the drive home.

[naturesapphic]

gonna request some cowgirl!wanda x gn!reader where she comes by reader's house on horseback and r is completely in love with her

New partner in town

Cowgirl!wanda maximoff x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff and cowgirl!wanda being a complete sweetheart

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was out and there was a bit of wind to keep down the heat. You were out of your house, tending to the animals when you hear horse hooves in the distance coming your way. You looked up confused and saw a girl you’ve never met before, riding a beautiful black midnight horse. Your breath got caught in your throat at the beauty that his random woman shows and you felt your knees weaken when she stops near you.

She steps off the horse and walks over to you, giving you a friendly smile. “Well howdy there sugar. My name is Wanda. Wanda maximoff.” She said sweetly and held out her hand to shake yours. “It’s nice to meet you Wanda. I’m guessing you are new here in town?” You asked her as you shake her soft yet firm hand and give her a shy smile which she slightly smirks at. “I sure am. My family and I moved here from Louisiana.” She said as she put her thumbs in her front pockets, giving you a sweet smile that makes your knees buckle.

“That’s great! What brings y’all down here?” You questioned softly and she gave you a small smile. “We wanted to start over…our farm didn’t do well and we needed new land and a whole new place where we could. So we decided to move here and I’m glad we did…or else I wouldn’t meet a sweet thing like yourself.” Wanda winked which caused you to blush red like a apple. A sudden barking interrupted y’all’s conversation and your dog comes running up to Wanda wagging his tail at her. “Well who’s this?” Wanda smiled as she bent down and started petting him. “This is butter nut squash, but we call him butternut, butter, nut, or sometimes shithead.” You said sheepishly as Wanda let out a huge belly laugh.

“That’s an adorable name. Cute and adorable just like her mama.” Wanda said smirking as you shifted in your spot nervously. Wanda stood up and looked down on her watch which caused her to slightly frown. “I hate to run but I’m supposed to help my pa and brother with some chores. I’ll see you later yeah? I’m down a few miles away from your house if you ever want to stop by sugar.” Wanda winked and took a bow while taking off her hat in the process. “I’ll see you later darling.” She stated and went back on her horse and rode away. You just stood there, mesmerized by her. Fuck.

A/n: I didn’t exactly know how to end it sofmdkdkd but I hope y’all enjoy the first imagine of cowgirl!wanda. Requests are open for her and for my other characters I write. I have my own buy me a coffee page! You can give me a dollar and it will help. I also have some different commission types I will do so here’s my page to look into it :) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/naturesapphic Requests are open for yeehaw!wanda, country!wanda, and any other southern variants of Wanda or Natasha! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

[daxdraggon]

Dax my dear and close friend, one that I cherish even in these times of differing fandoms, that I know in my heart of hearts that our time where we were of the same mind were ones that I shale never forget

What The Fuck Do You Mean You Have Unprotected Uranium In Your House

YEEHAW!

It's Torbernite with Uranium crystals on it! The itty bitty green flecks! As for it's danger to myself, I'd say it's probably not any worse than my uranium glass pieces. I *do* want a proper case for it, the glass one it's in now is too small, I can't close the lid fully.

[frozenhi-chews]

Hoooookay. Since I have SO MANY ASKS in my inbox, I'm gonna answer all of em. Yeah. Because so many overlap I'm just gonna. Do that. Yeehaw. All under the cut cuz THIS IS GONNA BE VERY LONG

Take this, here we go!!

Ask game here

🍧 - If you had to put a label on your relationship with f/o, childhood sweetheart? married? tell me!

Enemies to lovers, and married. These two are freaking dorks who were obvious even before they dated

🔥- who gets jealous easier?

I would say Starlo. But that's only in the insecure "why can't I be like that, of course she likes them" way. He does get over it pretty quickly though.

💋 - if you two were a romance trope what would it be?

Enemies to oblivious gays to lovers to insufferable married couple

🎂 - how do you two celebrate each other's birthday?

Fitting how I'm answering this six days before my birthday! I actually had planned out a scenario where Pancake gets the whole town to throw a surprise party for Starlo. Stars obviously tries to do the same thing, just in a different way. And it works. Hehe.

Also Starlo gives Pancake a LOT of gifts

🧊 - who sings in the shower?

STARLO. Pancake does too, but she's not as LOUD as Starlo. Pancake knows he's taking a shower, not because the water is on, but because she can hear "LIIIIFE IS A HAAAIIIWAAAAYYYY, IM GONNA DRIVE IT ALLLLL NIIIIGHT LOOOONG!!" from halfway across the house

🔮 - who is more protective?

PANCAKE. Starlo is also pretty protective, but HOO MAN that title goes to Pancake. She's half Terrorvant (an alien species I made up), and they're insanely and aggressively protective of their loved ones. It's like a guard dog situation. It's literally etched into her blood to be protective. If someone even tries to hurt or kill Starlo, or any of her other friends, she will make sure that death is a mercy to the perpetrator. You Do Not Make Pancake Mad. Ever.

🩰 - who is the better dancer?

Pancake is better at dancing on her own, Starlo is better at couple dancing. And he loves to dance with her. Heck it's a chance to teach her, and he loves seeing her flustered face

🎈 - what is your most precious memory with them?

Probably playing UTY for the first time and seeing him for the first time in game. Hooo he's awesome.

🐇 - what kind of pet do you think you could raise together with them?

Cat. Horse maybe. But definitely a cat. Pancake finds a black and white spotted cat, Starlo is REFUSING to look after said cat. And later he's seen napping with Moo on his chest!

💍 - what is their view on marriage?

They both wanted to get married. Pancake has had several failed relationships, but still wants a partner. And Starlo wants a family of his own, despite his heartbreak. It's also that his mom REALLY wants him to get married, and thats a bit of pressure on him. Still, he wants that

🎀 -do you have any matching clothes with them? If so, what does it look like?

YES!! The same matching PJ set. Starlo saw Pancake changing PJs cuz she got too hot with him under the covers, and he's a clinger too. So he bought them matching star PJs

🧸 - favourite gifts from each other?

For Pancake, it's the locket Starlo gave her before they started dating. For Starlo, it's any plush she wins him at an arcade or carnival game

🌱 - how do you make up with each other after an argument?

Mostly by talking, or letting each other process it for a bit. They'll eventually talk it out. Sometimes it just takes longer

🩹 - if you or your f/o got hurts, how would the other react?

Refer back to Pancake being PISSED if you hurt Starlo. She will Not Be Happy, and will probably make herself look like the worse person just to get you to back off from hurting Starlo. If Starlo walked up to her injured, instead of her catching someone hurting him, she'll patch him up calmly and then ask for names. He can't tell her cuz their names will be in the newspaper the next day. Somehow

Starlo would also be pissed. Not as much as Pancake, but he will defend her and bite back. Yeah don't make him mad either. He's not too much of a genuine fighter, but he does have training from Pancake

❄️ - how would you spend Christmas with them?

Cozy, warm, with LOTS of gifts, most from Starlo. Probably with his family too. Eventually it'll be cozy and warm back at home, watching the snow fall with gifts around them and a warm fire in the fireplace. Just cozy

🎃 - what is your Halloween costume? Do they match with your f/o?

Irl? It's a TV head cosplay. I feel like he would also wear a TV head to match. And to try something different, other than Westerns

🌠 - if you or your f/o could make one wish come true, what would it be?

For Pancake, it'd be so Starlo can see the actual stars on the surface. And to be with him forever. For Starlo, it's to see his child Clover again

📷 - do you have any photos of your f/o? do you use it as your wallpaper?

I actually have a Starlo wallpaper. Someone got some fanarts and edited them into a wallpaper. And it's been like that for months. And I have over 1400 images of him saved onto my phone-

🫕 - camping together seems fun, who cooks and who set up the tent?

Starlo cooks, Pancake sets up the tent

🍝 - do you two share your foods with each other? have you try feeding them yourself?

Yes, Pancake's made pancakes for Starlo. And yes they occasionally feed each other

🔪 - if they were a yandere, would you still love them?

I don't like yanderes. And being a yandere is completely out of character for him. (I've seen some yan!starlo stuff. It's so freakishly out of character like WHYYYY)

💄- what nicknames or pet names do you two use for each other?

A-HA!! TRAP CARD ACTIVATED!! Though people already know these, teehee.

Starlo's nicknames for Pancake: Honeybee, Wildflower, Moon Pie, Darlin, Sugar Cube, Hon, Stardust

Pancake's nicknames for Starlo: Stars, Starshine, Rattlesnake, Lemon Cookie, sugar bun

💎 - if you and your f/o were in a fake relationship/marriage, who do you think would lose at falling in love first?

Starlo probably. He just that connection alright?

🍿 - your perception of them and their perception of you?

Pancake's perception: he's kind, loving, sweet, has the biggest and kindest heart of gold. He gets excited extremely easy. He has a lot of weight on his shoulders, and I wanna help him take that load off. I want to see him genuinely smile more.

Starlo's perception of Pancake: She's a shortstack with strength that could easily bend and snap him in half, and that makes her all the more terrifying and hot for it. She's a kind soul as well, gentle and tries to be friends with everyone. Is a little headstrong. Gets things done ahead of time when they need to be. Over enthusiastic sometimes, but that's the way he likes her. She's genuinely sweet. And should see herself in a higher light than she does. He sees her in a very high light, probably higher than she ever will. And that makes him sad. But, she's happiest when she's around him, and he loves that

🌹- if the roles were reversed, your f/o selfship themselves with you, would you two still be obsessed with each other as usual or stronger?

Yes. I've felt it. He definitely would be. THE YEARNING MAN. THE YEARNING-

🍒 - what would your contact names be for each other?

Pancake's would be something silly like "beef" (for boyfriend) or "starboy" or "stars <3"

Starlo's would be something like "Light of my life" or a star/cowboy themed thing

🏷 - what is you and your f/o's ship name? how did you decide on that name?

They actually have two!! Rotten Star and Starcake!!

Rotten Star came from their personas' names. Starlo's being North Star and Pancake's being Rotten Jack. It's essentially their rivalry ship name, back when they were enemies. Hue

Starcake is just their names mashed together. Starlo and Pancake. And yet it's so cute and perfect and aesthetically pleasing!! I love it!!

⏳️ - if you or your f/o travel back in time, is there anything that you want to change in your relationship? maybe some regrets for your actions towards the other in the past?

Maybe stopping the rivalry? Dunno.

And thats it! If any of yall read all of this, here's a cookie 🍪 and I love ya /p

You're amazing!!

[mrsterlingeverything]

My parents are offering to let me move in with them and help me with other bills in addition... this is like an offer i cant turn down despite them being like homophobic etc etc... i think i have to do it cuz i could save a fuck ton of money while also taking the IT job full time... as fun as my life is rn its secretly kind of unsustainable... . So happy that i did what i did and i respect myself so much more for it, still not giving up on my other jobs and i want to try to fit them in somehow but right now i think maybe a year of just grinding and putting down money for a house would be my best option... yeehaw

[terrainofheartfelt]

Liz's definitive track assignment list that nobody asked for (but I know I'm right)

"Fortnight" (featuring Post Malone) -- DAIRFAIR DAIRFAIR DAIRFAIR

"The Tortured Poets Department" -- derena breakup track. derena divorce track. take your pick. serena pov <3

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys" -- 🪑

"Down Bad" -- changing course because this is rwrb firstprince alex post lake house I'M RIGHT

"So Long, London" -- same for above. acd-coded

"But Daddy I Love Him" -- blair waldorfian. i'm having his baby jk lmao. unhinged.

"Fresh Out the Slammer" -- calling it another post derena divorce. pov both of them. dan floats to blair, serena gravitates to carter. and. fuck it. 🪑divorce. "I served my time" and all that shit

"Florida!!!" -- ivy/charlie. florida woman. fuck this city i'm getting fucked up in the gulf. yeah. she could have been so much more.

"Guilty as Sin?" -- BLAIRRRRRRRRRR s5ep4 if you want to get specific. reading steamy book scenes. gurl.

"Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" -- JENNY GIRL. "I am what you trained me to be." I MEANNNNN.

"I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" -- 🪑

"Loml" -- dan. sad dan. sad lonely boy

"I Can Do It With a Broken Heart" -- serena. always. constantly. (though cherry & I also agree it's firstprince coded)

"The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" -- louis divorce yeehaw

"The Alchemy" -- serenate reconciliation

"Clara Bow" -- blair & jenny and the girls that are destined to replace them.

[anns-works]

tell me about Defended By An Assassin im curious

Defended By An Assassin is a voltron canon-divergent-but-still-compliant-enough au i wrote in ye olden days. My hyperfixation has ended and am also out of motivation to finish it fully but a i still have a rough outline of the au notes. (I think it also helped me discover my gender so its kinda special to me despite it all)

The au mainly sees that an Altean ship w/ both a Galra and Altean inside it crash landed on earth in (an unspecified timeframe i never got around to calculating it) and the humans find their remains along w/ the cargo of raw Quintessence they were carrying w/ them. The ship lands on Russia and they hire a shady doctor i have titled as The Doctor to study the remains.

The Doctor then proceeds to (in predictably shady fashion) run human experimentation w/ his findings to form a being w/ both Nix (Galra) and Kaos (Altaean) genes inside a human combined w/ the Quintessence. Eventually the test subjects shift to children once it becomes apparent that they are the most receptive to it. Test subjects are kidnapped from all over the globe. Usually orphans that people won't miss. And young enough to still have all their baby teeth. Enter: Keith Kogane from texas yeehaw.

(In this au his dad died WAY earlier and he was plucked freshly from the chared remains of his house)

Keith has a fascinating dna which shows that it's half Nix dna. This is a new discovery and The Doctor really really wants to talk to the guy who banged the alien but hes fucking dead. But the results are already there w/ a human-Nix child, so why not add in the Kaos genes in there as well?

The vat of unidentified pure liquid energy they found in the crash (aptly named Ichor) proved to be very useful in this regard and The Doctor created more children with these human-Nix-Kaos cocktail and named them all Titans to aptly keep up w/ the theme.

These Titans then in ususal test subjects loosing their identity way were fashioned new names based on the theme. Also the whole shady experimentations were also very unethical (to say the fucking least) so a lot of people who funded the research but were kept unaware of the reselts are Very Not Happy abt the children thing. And oh! Would u look at that? The exposure to Ichor has led the Titans to develop strange abilities that can be harnessed in specific situations. Sure would be a shame if someone were to say, use this to silence the opposition.

So The Doctor basically made magic alien-energy-human 10 y/os who he manipulated into doing his dirty work and continuing his research on them.

The kids manage to get rescued and the facility destroyed cuz the fight involved Eris blowing up the afformentioned vat of ichor. Then the kids proceed to fuck off and disappear into various corners of the world to never talk to eachother again and bury all their problems and try to reintegrate themeselves into society.

Enter again: Keith Kogane, after having spent a brief stint as #02789nXs, before being Eris, spending half her time as Raven to assassinate people then back to being Keith again. He is Not adjusting well to society and then gets adopted by Shiro. He's now in the Garrison and James (Hermes. He was a fast little shit and it kept w/ the theme) is there and it was truly a devil's sacrament moment.

Then Shiro goes missing in a space mission and he gets himself kicked out if the Garrision. There is also a giant blue lion in the middle of the desert did they mention that? Wait what- SHIRO?!?!!! Who the fuck are you people. Dont come into my house and just- fine make yourself at home. Welcome to my cave w/ drawings and this big ass- how the fuck did you do that what the fuck. Are we in space. Is that earth. Is that a wormhole. What the fuck.

And now hes working as a fucking Defender of the Universe in a mecha lion w/ a 10000 y/o princess and Coran who call themselves Alteans but they are. Just. They're fucking Kaos people. And the main people are they're up against are called Galra, except she knows for a FACT that those bitches are Nix and there us also the uncomfortable fact of being half of the species (along w/ other things) that are taking over the unuverse. Shes not telling that to Allura.

And the whole thing about Ichor Quintessence comes up and hes just really trying to not deal w/ the mortifying ideal if being known and neither half Altean-half Galra prince Lotor or the Blade of Marmora are helping with it.

Some other notes is have written down abt this au:

Keith is 100% trans but no one knows in which direction. The Kaos shapeshifting powers are not helping w/ the problem even in the slightest.

During the Titan days there was some kind of love triangle thing going in w/ Eris, Hermes and Apollo and no one could tell who was into who either so it was just a source of angst and pining for the three of them and embarrassment for everyone involved.

On the plus side, Apollo and Hermes made Keith realize he has a thing for boys w/ blue eyes but on the downside: Lance fucking Mcclain

Lotor and Keith have a very complicated relationship cuz they are just dealing w/ similar things and Keith wants to help him w/ his place as a Galra/Altean but at the same time hes not ready to deal w/ his own issues either.

The whole returning to earth to find it under invasion moment has most of the Titans out of hiding and helping w/ their powers to beat the galra. Apollo is there but his name is Solace and the James-Keith-Solace pining trainwreck is back baby.

Keith also has very complicated feelings abt his mom.

The fallout of when Keith explains his human-galra-altean heritage to everyone involved one broken nose, several instances of the phrase "What the quiznak", 3 broken tables, 5 messed up lab equipment and many moments of awkward standing around by team voltron + Kolivan as Allura screams at Keith.

At one point Acxa just gets adopted into the Titans group. She's not even an honorary member they've 100 percent accepted her as one of them. Yes there was an initiation ceremony that involved a lot of stomping and chanting that called a lot of noise complaints. Yes Lotor was also in the corner as the actual honorary member wearing a hat that said "INTERN".

Thomas (Zeus) was literally the only one with the braincell in the Titan days and did not get paid enough to deal w/ all the bullshit. He has also been called many variations of mom/dad several times and has mainly accepted his fate.

The Titans also have these cool tattoo like patterns on their bodies that glow whenever they're using their powers.

Also Kosmo is the Titan's mascot and everyone (Keith) is willing to kill/die for it.

[ichorblossoms]

wip wednesday 2 fast 2 furious

ignore that we are now several minutes into thursday even in my timezone. i clicked "create" while it was still wednesday so it counts. to me <3

usual caveats apply. this is half-edited first-draft writing, might not be "canon" in six months, blah blah, yeehaw

--- [P2- Grimm POV, it/its for Grimm, he/him for Yarrow]

Grimm shut the door behind it, pulling the balcony back into the dim moonlight. Yarrow looked at it, expression showing only how exhausted he was. The pack of cigarettes sat next to him, but Grimm couldn’t smell any smoke.

It had no right to ask what Yarrow was doing sitting out here in the dark, or if it was the reason why. Instead it asked, “Alright if I join you?”

Yarrow looked at it a long moment then nodded slightly, “Sure.”

It took a seat next to him, giving him plenty of space. He didn’t move towards or away from Grimm, letting the space between the two of them fill with whatever mix of emotion had been brewing the past week

[flourish panels; yarrow fiddling with their lighter, scenery shots n the like]

Grimm wanted so badly to look over at Yarrow, to read whatever he was feeling in his face, but it knew that if it turned its head, Yarrow would too, and the eye contact would destroy any chance Grimm would speak first. So it continued to stare ahead, over at the other houses and yards, the desert never far away. Yarrow could go back inside if he wanted to. Grimm could too. Are you pretending I’m not here? 

Yarrow broke the unspoken stalemate between them by reaching for his cigarettes. Grimm watched his hands as he fished one from its package, his lips as he put it between them, the flame as it cast his face in warm light. He took a drag and exhaled a puff of smoke without a word.

Grimm turned away, afraid of how obvious its staring was. Desperation for something welled up in its chest, sitting in silence like this was simultaneously far too little and far too much to bear. When did the smell of smoke become a comfort? It wanted things to be fixed. If they could be fixed. It ripped the fabric without knowing how to mend it.

“Can I have a smoke?” Pathetic, pathetic. Grimm didn’t smoke, Yarrow had to know that.

For a second time that evening, Yarrow looked at Grimm. He took a short drag from his cigarette, now burned halfway, before offering it to Grimm.

[Grimm taking the cigarette from Yarrow]

The cigarette didn’t taste like him the way Grimm hoped it might have. It savored the smoke and burn in its lungs all the same, resigning itself to a lifetime of this and nothing more, taking only what it was given and not an inch more. Like a good dog.

Grimm passed it back to Yarrow, who took a long drag and closed his eyes while doing so, as if to forget the creature next to them had also touched it. His eyes opened again as he exhaled smoke. 

“You want another drag?” Yarrow proffered the cigarette. Why he didn’t just give them an entirely new one, Grimm didn’t know.

“Yeah,” Grimm half-lied, not caring for the cigarette itself.

The two of them passed the cigarette back and forth for a few more puffs. It couldn’t have been more than a minute, but it was long enough for one of the many, many knots in Grimm’s chest to loosen. 

Yarrow took a final short drag and snubbed it out on an ashtray Grimm couldn’t see before turning to Grimm. Without the lighter's little flame, Grimm didn’t even know how much he could see, but the way he furrowed his eyebrows meant he was looking for something. It didn't think it had an answer.

[vanfleeter]

Six Weeks // JTK

Pairing: Jake x Reader

Warning: Fluff

Author's Note: Full House has been inspiring me lately. Quick little Jake blurb.

Summary: You and Jake begin making plans for your wedding.

Relaxing in the living room with his guitar resting on his lap, Jake strums a random melody that’s been swimming around in his head for the past three days. He’s so focused on his playing that he doesn’t even notice you walking into the room. That is until you’re sitting in front of him on the coffee table. He lifts his eyes to look at you, not once faltering as he continues playing.

You give him a wide smile and he chuckles.

“Okay..” He smiles as he halts his playing and puts his guitar off to the side. “What do you want?”

“Your mom’s asking if we picked a venue and a date yet.” You say.

“No, we haven’t.” He says. “Though we should soon.”

“Yes and I was thinking we could do that now,” You say. “If you don’t mind.”

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t mind.”

“Great. Do you have any ideas?” You say as you move to sit next to him on the couch.

“Pirates.”

Your shoulders drop. “Pirates?” Jake eagerly nods his head. “Jake, I adore your love for pirates, you know I do. But I do not want pirates at our wedding.”

“Oh come on babe, think about it.” Jake stands from the couch and walks around the room. “It’d be so much fun.”

“So not happening.”

“Okay, so what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking maybe something simple, small. Oh there's this perfect little white chapel in my hometown that would just be the most beautiful place to have it.”

“Babe, it’s too country for me.”

You feign offense. “No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I am not wearing cowboy boots and yelling “yeehaw” when we tie the knot.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “You won’t have to wear cowboy boots and yell “yeehaw”. But I don’t want to struggle down the aisle wearing a dress that cuts off all air to my lungs and looking like I just stepped out of a Johnny Depp movie.”

The front door opens and Josh steps into the house. “Well hello my lovely engaged couple. Have we settled on a place and date yet?”

“Currently figuring that out now.” Jake says. “But she doesn’t like my ideas.”

“Let me guess, pirates?” Josh says, raising an eyebrow.

“He wants to dress as a pirate.” You say as you stand from the couch.

“I don’t think mom would like that either.” Josh says, noting the look on your face.

“Well help us out here.” Jake says.

“Umm no..” Josh says, shaking his head. “I really only came by to pick up those lyric sheets.”

“Oh right, right.” Jake sighs. “I’ll be right back.”

When he leaves the room, you grab hold of Josh’s shirt in the grip of your hands. “Help me please.” You beg.

“Woah there babe,” He says, prying your hands off of his shirt. “Damn, I just ironed this shirt too.”

“You gotta convince Jake to pick the white chapel. Please. It’s super simple and small and intimate.”

“Babe, I don’t like meddling with yours and Jake’s issues. Especially something like this.”

“If you don’t do this, you’re gonna be standing on that altar wearing a pirate costume.”

“Would it be that bad?”

“Oh Josh..”

He laughs and lays his hands on your shoulders. “I’m kidding.. But like I said, I’m not meddling.”

You groan and stomp your foot. “You suck..”

Jake comes back into the living room and hands the lyric sheets to Josh. “I added a few more things, I hope you don’t mind.”

Josh shakes his head. “Not at all.” He says as he reads what Jake added. “In fact I think you made it more intimate.” He says and shoots you a wink.

Jake narrows his eyes at you. “What’d you tell him?”

You shake your head. “Nothing.”

“I have to go.” Josh says. “Have fun!” He quickly slips out of the living room slamming the front door closed behind him.

Jake folds his arms over his chest. “Let’s compromise.” He says.

“Okay, compromise how?”

“I’ll do small and intimate but you have to-”

“I’ll let you dress like Johnny Depp.”

“Hoop earrings?”

“Fine.”

“Okay so we’ve got that settled,” Jake says as he pulls you into his arms. “What about a date?”

“It has to be special.” You say looking up at him.

“What if we made it easy?” He says. “Make it the day we met.”

“That would be perfect.” You say.

“Alright then it’s all done,” He says. “I’ll call the chapel in the morning and get it booked.”

“Jake..”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. The preacher won’t be available.”

“Mmmkay, I’ll call on Monday.” He says. He hugs you tightly. “Geez, can you believe that in six weeks we’ll be married?”

You smack your hands to his chest. “Six weeks?!” You exclaim. “Shit, Jake! That means we only have six weeks to find my dress and you need a tux and catering and we can’t forget about the flowers. Oh god, we have to get the save the dates out and the invites and–”

“Babe, babe!” Jake chuckles. “It’s going to be okay. You’re freaking out over things that we can get help with.”

“What if we eloped?” You say. “Quick and simple and-”

“No offense babe, I’d marry you tonight if we could but my mother would kill me if she doesn’t get to see us get married.” He grabs your hands. “Listen, I’m calling the chapel on Monday and after that I’ll rope Josh into helping me find a caterer while you go with Ronnie and my mom to look for a dress.” He still holds your hands and presses a gentle kiss to the top of your knuckles. “We can do this."

O fim

[elsewherewitch]

💜🌚Life Update🌚💜

I know my blog has been pretty inactive other than reblogs but life as a real adult got in the way. I started this blog when I was a baby witch in college so I’m truly a completely different person now.

However, some things have always remained the same & there’s some good changes too:

I am still a witch, of course!

I am still Christian (surprisingly lmfao)

Still bisexual, happy pride month babeyyy

I am still mostly broomcloseted, at least publicly & to the majority of my family. One of my siblings found my notebook of witchy stuff and I was like 😬 but tbh I really shouldn’t have been bc turns out they’re a witch too. Not that surprising tbh bc we love going to metaphysical stores together. They also prob found my tumblr so if ur reading this: mind yo business 🫥

I’m more of a casual witch now; very much no longer a baby witch, though I am definitely still learning everything I can! Divination is still my specialty but now I dabble in ghostwork too.

I graduated and have had a few different jobs, but am now in my dream industry! Life-wise I’ve been struggling with mental health (what’s new 🙄) but this blog really helps my mental health, with spirituality & positivity bc I truly enjoy it.

I have cats and my own place now, so my witch stuff is all over my house instead of sequestered to a tiny table in the corner in my bedroom.

I have an absolute SHIT-TON of tarot decks: around 40+ now. That means I got a ton of decks I still need to learn about, sooo…

I’m gonna start by reopening some of my free requests. I do NOT have as much time as I used to when I was in college, but I do have time for shorter freebies so I’ll be posting the rules for requesting real soon & what you can expect from me. On the table is: Free 1-Card Tarot Readings & Free Witchy Moodboards. I’m trying to find a new app or program for sigilwork so my stuff looks more professional, if yall got some good ones lmk bc I wanna get back into it.

You can request them now too in my asks if yall want🤠yeehaw, let’s get this rodeo started ~E🌚💜