#this is JUST the main doctors from 2005 until now!

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

i havent seen anyone do this so...

[pampushky]

i hate the air he breathes his foolish decrees

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 2 - 5k

woooo welcome to part 2 my loves! sorry for the slight wait. I've been doing hot bitch shit (my actual job). but now we're back. enjoy the fuck out of it. TW: no mention of abuser other than as him. mentions of abandonment and severe physical trauma in the form of a house fire. lore drop on the main character too!!

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Mid-March 2005. Los Angeles.

Niki gets a call from an unknown number that wakes him up from a deep slumber, and he hardly has any time to think as he’s pulling a sweater over his head and forgoing a hat entirely. It’s his third day in as your legal guardian, and you’re already transferred to a state-of-the-art hospital in Los Angeles, across the country from where you’d lived previously. A newer set of mountains. A city to the hamlet you’d once known, hidden away in the foggy mountains of North Carolina.  

As he blearily walks into the hospital lobby, there’s already a small team of doctors waiting for him, explaining rapidly what is happening to you as they walk him up to your room. You’re in the best hospital for burns on the continent— Niki had made sure of it. Had paid for the flight over here two days ago, with a medical staff on board to keep you stable during the five-hour flight. 

The doctors swarming around your unconscious form resemble vultures. The burn center director explains everything to him when they finally get to your room. The rapid medical treatment nearly made you present early. Freakishly early, by all standards. It’s understood to have been a panic response by your body— because you are on the brink of death in the burn ward, your hormones so out of whack that for whatever reason, your brain had gone, ‘Oh, yes, it’s time to do that now.’

Studies had shown that those in areas where the risk of death was high often presented much earlier, with other cases also supported something known as “panic presentation”. You’re an example of the latter. But it had never been seen to this degree. You need to be knocked out for several days, going comatose while a team of doctors works around the clock to save your life while it seems likely you will melt away like the first snowfall on a sun-warmed road as it seems new complications get piled onto your case file every day. The way the doctor talks about you makes Niki feel like you’re more of a medical case study for them, and not a pup who’d just lost her Dam. 

Marlene has already decorated the room to reflect more of a child’s ward. And wherever there’s an empty space on a table, she’s placed down bundles of fresh flowers. Flowering dogwood. That’s what the state flower was, and however early in the season for blooming it was. Marlene is back in the hotel, settling the new wave of attention about your identity while Niki tries to figure out what he’s going to do with you.

You’re already on several new medications to prevent you from presenting early, having them inserted in through an IV and eventually, to be taken as a pill when you could. You will be on these same medications, until you’re seven or eight, when they can consider weaning you off of them to let you present then because it’ll be safer. Niki hates the idea of you presenting even then. You should be almost fully grown when you present. Not— not still a pup. With baby teeth still in your mouth. You should be wrestling. Learning to access your canine form, and causing mayhem like his sons had. 

So he does what he’s been doing for the past five days. Niki sits quietly by your side in your private room. Holding your tiny hand while a machine breathes for you, not even five years old, and fighting for your life. Completely unaware of the complications your existence has thrown straight into Niki’s lap, dredging up old, old wounds that his sons have yet to recover from.

Because the great complication is that you’re his biological grandchild. 

Through a son, a beta, that neither Lukas nor Mathias had gotten to know. Or Niki, for that matter. But here you are. The only link to that son. To the ultimate undoing of his marriage and mating, his infidelity thrown back in his face in the form of a sedated, traumatized pup that can’t understand him through his Austrian accent.

Left without a dam, your mother. Lost to the roaring flames of a housefire that you’d somehow survived. Part of Niki wants to know how his son had ended up in the area, and if there are any other new descendants he should know about. So he petitions the court to gain access to your files before he legally adopts you, and he stares down at them before finally lifting the cover of the manila folder and starts to read.

All the files seem to stare right on back at Niki as he continues to pour through them, officially five minutes and nine seconds into being your legal guardian. They’re meticulous, just as expected— it had become standard for anyone who’d had so much as a visit to a hospital to create a DNA profile, especially after they presented. His affair child’s profile stares back at him, with what he can only assume is an up-to-date photo. Male. Beta. Signed away parental rights before birth. Austrian nationality. That’s all you have to go on for your biological father’s identity. 

That’s all that linked Niki to you, and how the social worker had managed to contact him. All other positive matches from your father’s side are his former mistress as your biological grandmother and his two sons with Marlene as your uncles. There are no other pups listed for his affair child. No other grandchildren that he has to worry about. Your dam’s profile is more complete. A smiling picture of her holding you as an infant, left by her family.

Female. Omega. Deceased. American nationality, born in Banner Elk, North Carolina. 

And under that:

Dam’s pack signed away pack and next of kin rights to the pup. Relevant health history is accessible through the International UN DNA database. Pack requested no contact order until the pup has reached legal age, or unless the pup does not survive her time in hospital, so they may bury her in the family plot with her Dam.

This makes a chill run down Niki’s spine. Your pack had… signed you away? The only people who had been familiar to you— and they had signed away their rights as though you were more of a burden than anything, only asking for you back if you were dead. It makes him shudder, as he looks down at your tiny body again, for what must have been the thousandth time since he’s been introduced to you. Since he’d so quickly agreed to become your legal guardian, your legal sire. Covered in bandages and hooked up to dozens of wires. 

The social worker explained that signing you away was them not wanting to pay for the massive medical bill, along with the scandal your birth had caused in the small community. Your Dam was unmated, and even worse, unmarried, raising you on her own in a less-than-up-to-code cabin her late father had left her, further out in the mountains, a thirty-minute drive into town. 

The matriarch of her pack had been well-regarded in the area— it was an open secret that she was looking for any excuse to remove you from the picture. This just happened to be the perfect excuse. How was she going to be able to pay for your medical costs on her own when it was just her? All the advanced treatments you’d need— it would be too much in her old age.

When told about the Children’s Health Insurance Programs that could easily provide care for you, your grand-dam had just made a sour face and told the Social Worker she was still signing away her rights. Her surviving children were quick to follow her lead.

What a backward system. Niki growls to himself, pacing in the room. Reading the reports from the insurance company he’d managed to legally bully his way into receiving from your biological family. 

The cabin had burnt down in nearly an hour. You’d been trapped under a metal bed frame when the roof collapsed in on itself. When they’d found you, it had been a recovery effort for bodies. And despite it all, you’d survived, your whimpering and crying alerting the firefighters that you were alive. Severely burnt, with the old mattress and polyester blankets having melted and dripped across your little body as the embers settled. Half of your body severely burnt from where the flames could still reach you. Crying out for your Dam even as you were airlifted to the nearest hospital with a functioning burn ward.

Going over your files has become a habit for the past three days. Ever since Marlene had gone silent when Niki told her that he was going to adopt you, before brusquely starting to order furniture and calling countless contractors that a new pup-friendly room be added to his house in Hof. He’s lucky to at least be considered a friend of his former mate, otherwise, he would be stumbling through his second round of parenting. He looks down at the newest addition to his pack. You. Four and a half. With burns covering an incredible amount of your body. Nearly 45% percent of your torso, completely mangling one of your legs, crawling up your neck and dancing across your jaw. Now lying in a medically-induced coma to conserve your energy. 

You wake up nearly two days later. Five days into Niki’s tenure as your legal sire. Unable to scream. Eyes fixed on Niki as your little chest heaves with the effort it takes to breathe. You pull at your IV and try to snap at a nurse who tries to stop you. But your eyes are still fixed on Niki, likely horrified by his burns. You were glancing at your own bandaged arms and body as if to gauge how you would one day look. 

There is a wild look in your eyes as you look at him. The way you tremble as the doctors try to explain everything. It hurts Niki’s heart, especially with the gasping noise you let out before they sedate you again when you’re still not responding well to anything. Niki wants to wrap you up in his arms and never let you go. You mumble something out as you drift away again, tears in the corners of your eyes. Foggy eyes on the extravagant bouquets of flowers on the tables beside your bed and across the room.

Where is my Dam? 

Early February 2024. Woking.

Your left leg was acting up again. It always did when you were stressed. The fire had mangled it— and that was putting it lightly. Not bad enough to amputate, because that would be too easy, and they didn’t want to send your body into even more shock. So you had your crispy, chicken-fried, useless leg. You could put some weight on it now, after nearly twenty years of intense therapy and correct surgeries. But it was still incredibly weak. Twisted, mottled skin and a full knee replacement. 

That’s what had made it so easy for him. That’s what had made it easy for him to chase you down as you tried to leave every situation that saw him near you. Easily able to keep pace with your shambling, stress-induced walk as you choked on his scent. 

Your upper thigh twinges. The needle pierces your skin again, all over. That was the only reason you’d been able to walk away without experiencing a true heat from whatever drug he’d hit you with. The bad, mangled leg of yours. Your downfall and savior. 

The halls are winding, but you can vaguely follow the way to your office. You call Lewis the moment you get to the room. There’s already a brand-new mini fridge sitting on your desk, likely from the accommodations you’d listed in the countless documents you’d had to sign when you got hired. 

There’s a few people unboxing your items and they look a bit shocked to see you back from what was supposed to be a much longer meeting. “Ms Lauda—”

“Leave, please,” you whisper while pacing, trying to calm yourself down. You can feel your scent-blocking adhesive strips tingling. Your scent glands, especially the damaged ones, threatening to blister from the stress. You were going to be sacked for certain. Not only had you yelled at the driver you were meant to work with, you’d also thrown an empty can at him. “I’d like some space.” The workers, your new assistants, you realize, hurry out, not even catching your mumbled thanks as you tuck yourself into a corner where you can’t be seen from the door. So much different than Williams. So much more support. Lewis doesn’t pick up immediately, but just as you’re about to call again, his contact photo appears on your screen. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay—” Is the first thing you hear, like the protective older brother he’s always situated himself as in your life. “What room are you in? I still haves ways to get into the classified parts of the MTC—” 

“I’m going to fucking kill Lando Norris,” You growl into the phone, and Lewis lets out a relieved noise, before breaking off into a fit of laughter, his voice more distant as if he’s trying to muffle himself. “Don’t laugh! That fucking brat, I should box his goddamn ears, showing up nearly an hour late to what was supposed to be our initial meeting—” 

“Ah, yeah, sounds like Lando!” 

“Fuck off, Lewis,” You whine, and he has the audacity to laugh even harder, because your accent slips, as it always seems to do when you’re with your immediate pack. You can hear him shuffle a bit. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” You concede to him with a soft sigh. You hear the chortling barks of Roscoe in the background of Lewis’s call. “I’m gonna do my job. But I’m gonna hate it. Unless I get switched to Oscar.”

“Don’t sound too hopeful.” Lewis chides on the other side of the phone, and you hear the doorknob jiggle, followed by a soft knock. “Sounds like you have some work to do.” 

He hangs up before you can say something in response to him, leaving the gentle knocking on the door to slowly drive you insane. Likely Andrea or Zak, telling you that you were going to be let go for committing a minor assault against their star driver. 

And you're right, it is Zak. But he looks more concerned than angry with you, immediately putting his hands up in a placating manner when you open the door as if you’re the one with all the power and he’s not the CEO of McLaren Racing, your ultimate boss. Your boss’s boss. The one who bulldozed his way into getting you on the team because he’d seen your work to get at least a modicum of respect back to Williams, and, in his own words, got a good vibe from you.

(And maybe Niki had been in his ear a little bit about it, but when Niki Lauda spoke, people had a habit of listening rather closely to whatever he said.)

“Mr. Brown,” You start formally, leaning down in a way that is traditionally seen as submitting and a very, very formal way to apologize before he starts to squawk in surprise at it all. 

“Don’t– What are you submitting for— are you alright?!”

The last thing you expect is Zak fretting over you like you’re a pup. He’s gently squishing your cheeks with his hands, checking you over, and you can see his nose twitching, as if he’s checking your scent for any signs of distress. Only to look confused by how… clean, you smell.

“Are you— are you still hurt from everything?”

“No, I just,” You take a step backward, and hold up your hands just like he had just been doing for you a few seconds ago. “It’s easier to hide my designation when I smell like this.”

He just looks confused at your explanation but doesn’t seem to question it.

“And you… want to continue hiding it?”

“Preferably.”

Even as you say it, you can see a bit of pity in his eyes. You know his mate is an omega. He has a pup who’s an omega. Both of which he supports wholeheartedly. You’d seen all the articles. Part of you is jealous. Another part just wants everyone to stop caring about what your designation may be. Why should anyone care what you are? 

You’re proud of yourself, regardless of your designation. You’re not some prize to be won! You can stand on your own two feet, you can take care of yourself. You had more than shown that—

Zak is hugging you. Rumbling softly like any parent would do for a distressed pup.

“You don’t have to justify it. I just need to know so I can make sure that no one else is told, aside from our medical people.” He whispers, and you sag against him. Relief fills your mind. “What— what do people think you’ve presented as?”

“Alpha. Like Vati. They think I’m an Alpha.” 

“We can work with that,” Zak pulls away, looking at you. There’s only worry in his eyes. “Can I ask one more thing?”

“Yeah,” You sniffle, not realizing you’d starting to tear up as you look at him. “What is it?”

“Why…. did you throw an empty can of Red Bull at Lando? You’re not in trouble, I just want to know why.”

You flush, and Zak just starts to laugh. 

McLaren is much, much different than Williams.

Lando has been sitting in a chair while Oscar screams at him. Andrea has disappeared. It’s been ten minutes and all he wants to do is curl up and die and apologize for commenting on your voice and being late and not charging his phone and really, every other thing that he’d done wrong, ever.

Yes. He is technically the older one. No, he shouldn’t be acting like such a pup over this.  

Yes. He should know better than to comment on things that people can’t change or help about themselves.

Yes, Oscar, Lando was aware that you had survived a very traumatic house fire that nearly killed you. No, it’s not okay that he called you a robotic bitch. No, he didn’t read the email about the apparent triggers that you had from this event. Frankly, he wasn’t even aware that they had emailed those to him. That seemed like a bit much.

“I mean seriously, Lando! This is ridiculous! Fucking calling her that!” 

It feels like he’s being lectured by his Dam again, her words blending English into Flemish until he can’t tell what she’s saying, just that she’s pissed at him. Instead, it’s just Oscar’s accent getting thicker and thicker until Lando’s certain he’s never heard anyone sound so furious with him, and that’s really saying something. 

“I get it,” Lando whines, letting his head slip so that he can press his forehead against the table. And he does feel bad! Really! “I didn’t know she’d respond like that!”

“Wonderful excuse to be a fuckhead, champ,” Oscar drawls, eyes narrowed. His arms are folded. He looks unimpressed. He smells more, now than ever, of rotting oranges. Lando can imagine the maggots. “I’m shocked you didn’t comment on her designation as well.”

“She’s an alpha! And she smells so medicine-y,” Lando wrinkles his nose, lifting up his head enough to glare at the omega in front of him. Oscar’s face is a blank mask of annoyance, with a flicker of some other mystery emotion. But he can at least tell what he’s thinking because he can smell his displeasure from across the room. It’s all rotten oranges, burning rubber, and singed hair. “C’mon! I didn’t know it’d set her off that much, man!”

“Commenting on traumatic events tends to do that to people.”

“How was I supposed to know it was traumatic?!”

“Wow, you really didn’t read any of the emails,” Oscar lets out a low huff, sitting across from Lando in one of the plush office chairs. “We’ve been in talks with her for weeks!”

“You were in talks with her, maybe,” Lando says snidely, narrowing his gaze at the omega across from him, “I didn’t think I needed a new race engineer, yet here we are. But you seemed awfully interested when you heard she was looking for a new team.”

Oscar scoffs. His cheeks turn slightly pink. “No, I wasn’t. She’s a good friend. I thought she’d be a good fit for the team.”

“Oh, so this has nothing to do with the fact that you have such an obvious crush on her? I bet Logan even helped set you up,” Lando knows he’s been a dick again. But he’s frustrated. He’ll get lectured by his therapist for this later, and he’s okay with that. He just needs to make Oscar squirm a little for his high-and-mighty attitude. “You want her pups, I bet. Already have the first three named.”

“Fuck off,” Oscar snarls, and Lando decides to keep digging a bit more. “It’s not like that! Besides—I’m courting someone!”

An awkward silence settles between the two. Oscar’s flushed pink. And Lando starts to grin. Evilily, in Oscar’s opinion. Gleefully, in his own. 

"Oh, but it is!” Lando chimes, his voice all sing-songy. He’s in full older brother mode. He knows exactly what to do to push Oscar’s buttons now that his teammate has shown his weakness. He’s done this with his sisters. And Oscar’s probably used to being the one doing the tormenting, as his family’s oldest pup. “You like her!” And then, with a very dramatic gasp, “Oh, you’re probably courting her! No wonder you wanted her here!”

Without so much as a warning, the Australian driver leaps at him with a snarl the moment the words are out of his mouth. They’re both tussling on the ground, before it turns into the two of them in their canine forms, snapping and snarling at each other. This is when Andrea decides to make a reappearance, looking a bit startled to see a mousy-brown wolf and a dark-brown wolf rolling around on the floor of the conference room. Oscar is large for an omega in his canine form, but still smaller than Lando. Lando is wirey, not as bulky as many would expect an Alpha to be. It’s rather evenly matched, considering how often the two of them are training. 

One moment, Lando has Oscar pinned. Another, Oscar has him pinned. Snarling and biting and kicking until the door opens again, and now it’s Andrea, Zak, and yourself watching the two of them wrestle until you fearlessly walk into the fray and grab Oscar by one of his hind legs.

Oscar turns back immediately, hitting the ground with a loud ‘oof’ while Lando scurries away, watching as you start to lecture the other driver. Your tone is hushed, but it’s clear that this seems to be a common occurrence between the two of you. You’re leaning over him, and the rumblings of annoyance and displeasure are clear as day.

Lando can’t help but smirk as the other man makes fleeting eye contact with him as you sit on his side of the table, taking your place as his engineer, despite your obvious contempt for him. 

“Now, let's get to business…” Andrea sighs. You keep your eyes ahead. Hands folded neatly in front of you. Letting his words blur until you feel Oscar gently tugging on your arm. He looks concerned, and you smile tiredly at him. Only just remembering the promise of cuddling in his nest with him when this was all done. 

You don’t even care if you look or act nothing like the Alpha that Lando thinks you are. You just slump against Oscar with a grumpy half-whine as he hoists you over his shoulder. The other driver lets out a loud snort at that, and your friend only glares at him, about to say something else before you bring one of your hands to tap his cheek lightly.

“Just get to th’nest,” You mumble, leaning against him. Your leg aches. You don’t want to walk. “Wanna get th’blockers off.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Oscar sighs, glaring at Lando over his shoulder before walking past with you in his arms. You don’t care about how it looks. You’ll deal with it later. And before you know it, you’re curled in the world’s comfiest nest, all in shades of orange and black. With the comforting scent of sweet tangerines and charcoal. Oscar hands you a nice little bottle of micellar water to help get your blockers off, much more gentle with your skin than you ever are with yourself. He’s even soaked cotton rounds to make it a bit easier to apply, gently rubbing them across your scarred glands to clear any remnants of the adhesive off of your skin.

The smells of mountain rain and fresh baked peach cobbler mix with Oscar’s scent as you stretch, rubbing your cheeks tiredly.

You let yourself relax then. Sinking deep into the soft pillows as Oscar comes to spoon you from behind. A commonplace action, and had been since he started to get more and more bold with you in his attempts to court you. 

You can hear Oscar start to Facetime someone, probably Logan. But you honestly don’t care all that much— he’s there, and you’ll give your friend a full debrief, of course, after you’ve fully rested. 

“Your leg acting up?”

Oscar nudges you, and you grumble, trying to press your face further into the plushness of the nest, voice muffled by pillows. “Who cares if it is?”

“I do.”

“So do I!” Logan chimes in from the phone, and you roll over enough to glare at him. “Did you take all your meds, mouse?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So I’m afraid you’ll just have to put me down at this point—”

You don’t even have time to respond as Oscar cuffs your ear. You let out a dramatic whine, actually letting yourself act on your instinctual noises. Nothing hurts, of course. Oscar’s always been gentle, making sure nothing actually hurts when he wrestles with you or cuffs your ears. 

“Did you have to get my bad ear?” You whine, looking accusingly at the Aussie who just grins down at you, cuffing the same ear once again. “I’m gonna tell Lewis.”

“He doesn’t scare me, and besides, he’d probably agree with me! All, ‘C’mon, Mousey, that’s not how your therapist said to cope with your trauma—”

“That’s a bit scary, how accurate that was,” You prop yourself up to glare at your dear friend, only to smile broadly at him. You can’t help it, really. He manages to make you smile, even when you feel like shit. And even when he cuffs your bad ear by mistake, after swearing he won’t do it again.

In truth, the ear looks almost melted. It’s usually carefully hidden by your personal stylist, with hair masterfully combed over it. The skin around it— luckily missing your scalp— was mottled and pink. What was left of your ear was little more than a small ridge of skin and cartilage at this point, and was much the same in your canine appearance, just more dramatic without all the fur. The upper half of your ear was utterly gone, along with most of the lobe. It was the ear you were deaf in. 

“Can it even hurt if you’re deaf?”

“Yeah! Doesn’t mean it’s gone numb to the feeling,” you pout, looking at him as he sets his chin on your shoulder. Logan giggles from FaceTime. He’s set up somewhere, Williams blue all around him that makes you avert your gaze but continue talking to him nonetheless. “Ugh. Logan, I almost killed Lando.”

“She threw a can of Red Bull at him,” Oscar clarifies, to his rather shocked-looking boyfriend and courting partner. To his credit, it takes a few seconds before Logan starts to cackle.  

“It was empty!” You protest back, but there’s a wide smile on your face as you hazard a glance at your former partner. “He was being a little bitch!”

“Should I be offended I didn’t get the same treatment my first day?” Logan’s voice crackles and his face is frozen on the screen with a mix of a confused look and smirk, before serenading both of you with a jumbled, robotic mess before the call abruptly ends. 

“Stupid wifi,” Oscar mumbles, pulling the phone away to text his boyfriend to see what happened. You just settle back into your side of the nest, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift off while Oscar’s comforting scent wafts over in you waves. You could just about fall asleep when there’s a gentle knock at the door, followed by Andrea poking his head in. 

He blinks at the two of you. You blink back at him, already knowing you won't be able to take a much-needed like you had originally planned.

“Ah! Ms Lauda— can I speak with you for a second?”

“Can I do it from here?” you try to press yourself deeper into Oscar’s nest. You’d need to find a place to make one here— a nice, private room. Somewhere you can easily reapply your scent blockers and can fully surrender to your instincts until you were comfortable with more people knowing about your designation. “Took off my blockers.”

“Of course. I just wanted to check in, make sure everything was alright after… how the meeting went.”

There’s a hearty pause. As if he can tell you’re thinking over your words carefully.

“It certainly… went.”

“Ah. And… no other comments?”

“I meant what I said. You baby Lando.” You shift slightly. Tiredly. Giving the team principal the trademark Lauda stare from where you’re comfortably curled into the nest. So soft, yet so harsh at the same time.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re here to fix that,” Andrea smiles politely at you, and ducks out of the room without another word. You just settle deeper into Oscar’s nest, wondering what in the hell you’d gotten yourself into. The only thing on your mind when you finally manage to fall asleep is how much you miss your mother's fresh peach cobbler.

tags: @the-holy-trinity-l @laura-naruto-fan1998 @amalialeclerc @st0rmzi3 @poppyflower-22 @hiireadstuff @seonghwaexile @mrsmelinda

[denimbex1986]

'Sixty years is but the blink of an eye for a time-traveller like The Doctor. But for a television series, a Diamond Anniversary is an extremely rare and impressive occurrence.

BBC’s Doctor Who recently celebrated such a milestone with three one-hour specials which, for the first time, streamed globally on Disney+.

Russell T Davies, fresh from his success on ’80s AIDS miniseries It’s A Sin, returned to the show he brought back so successfully in 2005 to the BBC. Bolstering his team are returning producers Julie Gardner and Phil Collinson, and Jane Tranter, the woman who was instrumental in bringing back Doctor Who in 2005. Bad Wolf, the company founded by Tranter and Gardner in 2015, currently produces the show with BBC Studios.

Another big returning name return was David Tennant, who played the 10th Doctor from 2005-2010 and who also returned for the show’s 50th Anniversary in 2013. Beloved by fans and audiences alike, Tennant’s Doctor was a big ratings draw.

Though, it’s not all returning past glories for Doctor Who. There is a new actor portraying the Time Lord, Ncuti Gatwa, who is taking over the titular role with the the forthcoming season 14, and who made his debut with the specials. The Rwandan-Scottish actor made a name for himself as gay teenager Eric Effiong in the Netflix comedy series Sex Education and recently starred as “Artist Ken” in Barbie. His first full season debut in the TARDIS will come in spring 2024, with a premiere date yet to be set.

Not only that, powerhouse streamer Disney+ is now on board to broadcast these new episodes across the world (with the exception of the U.K. and Ireland, where it still airs on BBC)...

What Happened in the 60th Anniversary Specials?

Showrunner Davies brought Tennant back with a cosmic bang and a galactic-sized nod to fan service with an adaptation of a Doctor Who Weekly comic strip first published in 1980.

The first of the three specials, “The Star Beast,” was a 60-minute romp that wonderfully evoked the Tenth Doctor-era, complete with cutesy alien The Meep (think The Mandalorian’s Baby Yoda, but bigger and hairier) and the return of much-loved companion, Donna Noble (played by Catherine Tate, The Office).

Last seen in the Tenth Doctor’s finale in 2010, Donna’s return posed a fatal conundrum for the Doctor: If she remembered her past with the Doctor, she would die. Thankfully, writer Davies had a workaround, meaning that the 60th anniversary celebrations did not result in the death of a companion but, in fact, allowed Donna to live unharmed and enjoy some further adventures in time and space with her best friend.

The main question, though, was just why the Fourteenth Doctor, played by Tennant, had the same face and body of the Tenth Doctor, also played by Tennant. This was an unprecedented move in the history, or Whostory, of the show. Special number two, “Wild Blue Yonder,” traveled to the end of the universe and delved into the uncanny, but still posed the query as to why that particular face returned. (It’s a good face, we weren’t complaining).

Fans would have to wait until the third and final special, “The Giggle,” before the mystery was finally revealed. And it was all down to Donna. She surmised that he changed his face and then found her to “come home.” The Doctor commented, “I’ve never been so happy in my life,” as he sat with the Noble family, not fighting aliens and enjoying a spot of lunch.

The Final Special Had More Up Its Intergalactic Sleeve

Aside from the return of fan favorite Kate Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) and ’80s-era companion Melanie Bush (Bonnie Langford), there was an even bigger returnee waiting in the wings.

Making an all-singing, all-dancing return to Doctor Who was the formidable villain, The Toymaker. Played by Neil Patrick Harris (best known for portraying Barney Stinson on the CBS series, How I Met Your Mother), the Toymaker made his debut opposite the First Doctor (William Hartnell) in the 1966 four-part serial, “The Celestial Toymaker.”

The character was originally played by English actor Michael Gough, who would go on to play Bruce Wayne’s butler Alfred in the four Batman films directed by Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher. Though, it’s hard to picture Gough pulling off NPH’s manic routine to The Spice Girls’ 1997 hit, “Spice Up Your Life”.

And then there was the first appearance of the new Doctor, Gatwa. But this was no simple regeneration, as seen in Doctor Who so many times previously. Just as the return of a previous actor to play a new regeneration of the Doctor was unprecedented, Davies debuted another new element in the show’s mythology: “bigeneration.” This left fans shocked as the Fourteenth Doctor, seemingly regenerating as per usual, actually split into two, revealing Gatwa’s Fifteenth Doctor and Tennant’s Fourteenth Doctor standing, looking at one another just as surprised as the millions of Whovians watching across the globe.

What is Bigeneration and What Does it Mean for the Future?

As is explained in the behind-the-scenes show Doctor Who Unleashed, “instead of a new body taking over from the old body, the new body separates from the old body, and both are left alive.”

This means that there are two distinct Doctors roaming the universe at the same time. While it might take some time for Tennant’s Fourteenth Doctor to pick up the keys to his TARDIS and start planet-hopping, as he seems quite happy to kick back in England for a while, it’s possible — nay, highly likely — that the Gatwa and Tennant Doctors will meet again.

For the time being, though, Davies has stated that there are “no plans” for a Fourteenth Doctor return, adding that he’s “parked” on Earth with Donna Noble for a “happy life.”

Interestingly, Davies has also suggested that this has even bigger implications for Doctor Who. This bigeneration has created a new timeline where all previous incarnations have been affected, with every Doctor continuing to exist after their own regeneration. Davies may be joking when he refers to this as a “Doctorverse,” but he has established “The Whoniverse” (bringing in previous spinoffs such as Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures) so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that audiences could witness various team-ups featuring Gatwa with previous Doctors at any moment. Or, perhaps more spinoff series could be on the way featuring the past Doctors on their own...'

[the-doctor-3000]

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 {Doctor Who Fanfic}

Chapter 1: An Unearthly Child

Emma Jones. A nineteen year old girl with a great sense of imagination and sometimes with a head over the clouds. Currently, she was in her family's home. It was night time and they were all going to have a series marathon, Doctor Who, and since Emma hadn't seen the classic. 

The raven haired female was making some popcorn and poured the soda on seven glasses. She then carefully took them to the living room and placed them on the coffee table. Her necklace dangling around her neck; it was a clock pendant with Latin numbers. 

Her arctic blue eyes scanned the room, colourful pillows laid on the wooden floor and the sofa had opened and was now a bed with many heavy sheets with floral designs on them. Once she finished setting everything up, her four foster older siblings and parents walked in. Each of them carrying bags with snacks and candy. Mostly jelly babies. All for the marathon. 

Her foster mother, a soft featured woman with deep green eyes and strawberry blonde hair, dressed in hipster clothing, smiled at her as she set a plastic bag from the supermarket down. This was Jocelyn 

"Ready to see the best classic show of all times, Ems?" Paul, the eldest of the siblings, asked her with a grin.

"I'm, uh, kind of terrified to be honest." she responded meekly. At his confused look, she continued. "I mean, until the sixth season, it's in black and white. What if I don't like it?"

"Because it's Doctor Who, Em Universe!" he exclaimed with a chuckle, his grin never leaving his face. "If you loved the 2005 series, then you'll like the classic too!"

Her foster father, a man with sharp features and grey eyes, sighed at his son. "For goodness' sake, Paul! Leave the poor girl alone."

The poor girl. These words echoed in the noirette's mind as she held her smile. People sometimes would call her that because of the way her parents, her biological parents, had abandoned her on the orphanage's stairs with only her name and the pendant. Of course, Mike, the father, didn't mean any harm. He knew that she could get overwhelmed easily, especially when someone was urging her too much.

Not long after this little conversation, they all had sat down on their seats and the first episode of the show had begun. Emma was sitting on one end of the couch, her head resting on the palm of her hand as she watched carefully. 

It was odd seeing the Classic Who. So far she liked the plot and dialogues, but what she found weird was the special effects. Which was natural since she was used to the 2000s'. 

As she watched Barbara and Ian entering the junkyard, she heard something crashing outside the house somewhere near the forest. Mike paused the episode as he and the others turned to the direction of the sound. Emma sighed, standing up. "I'm going to check it out."

"Be careful, sweetie!" Jocelyn's voice called out to her like the protective mother that she was. The light reddish-blonde turned to her sons with a stern look once she listened to the door closing. "Paul, Jax, go with her."

"Ma!" Jax whined as he threw his head behind. "Why me? Emma is a big girl."

"True, but it wouldn't be right to leave your sister go out alone. In the dark."

Jax scoffed as he stood up and made his way out. "She's not even our sister, I don't understand why bother." He muttered, but Jocelyn heard him and bit her lip. "Going after that freak."

Paul, who was standing by the main door, also heard it and slapped the back of his head. "Jerk." And the two exited the house with a flashlight each.

Meanwhile Emma was carefully stepping over large branches. She tripped on some rocks and scraped her hands and knees. Emma cursed under her breath and dusted her clothes off as she stood on her feet again. It was far too dark to see, so she turned on the flashlight on her smartphone. She looked around. Nothing. Just as she was about to return, she stopped when she heard some high-pitched sound coming from deeper into the woods. A part of her said that she should go and not investigate, but another was curious.

The latter won. Emma sighed and followed the sound. Soon she could also see; a faint burnt orange with a small tint of silver light glowing. Her curiosity increased and became more eager to find the strange glow. For a moment she felt like a character from the stories she read. Strange wasn't exactly the word she would use to describe this feeling. Warm, friendly and even hypnotizing were the words that seemed more appropriate to use.

Finally she reached her destination, the light was coming from what seemed to be a floating ring. Squinting her eyes, she took note that there were some strange symbols on it. Shapes. Curiouser and curiouser, Emma instinctively reached out to it. The light was warm as it brushed her fingers.

"Emma!" Paul shouted from far away. Emma snapped out of her trance as she looked towards the direction of the voice. She looked back at the ring and quickly grabbed it. The glow stopped and revealed the ring to be silver with baby blue on the inside. She inspected the symbols on it carefully, not noticing the two boys sliding down the hill and to her. "There you are! We've been looking for you!" But Emma did not respond. "What's that?"

She shrugged. "Just a ring."

She said plainly, not bothering to add that it was levitating or that it glowed. He wouldn't take her seriously and would say that her head played games. Maybe it did, but maybe it didn't. 

Jax hugged himself, shivering. "Let's go back home! It's freezing here!"

Paul rolled his eyes at his younger brother and then lent his biker's jacket to Emma, putting it gently around her shoulders. He gently led her back to the house by the hand. Her eyes were glued on the ring even when they were back. Jocelyn offered to give her a chain and use it as a necklace. Emma accepted and then Jocelyn helped her to wear it. The black haired female touched the ring with the tips of her fingers as she made her way upstairs to her room.

She told the family that she wasn't feeling well and would watch the show some other time. Jax and the others, excluding Mike, Jocelyn and Paul, were annoyed that they'd have to postpone it. Emma ignored it since she couldn't do otherwise. 

As she laid on her bed, her hands rested on her pendant and on the ring. She huffed and took yet another look at the strange band of unknown metal. The symbols on it seemed familiar. She shifted to her side and pulled under her bed a laptop, she opened it and started searching it on the internet. At first, she typed on the search box 'strange circular symbols' but it only showed her pictures from Doctor Strange's symbol. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, deleted the words and thought for a moment. Where had she seen them before? Emma looked down at the ring around her neck. 

She set the laptop away and laid on her back. She took a look at her phone for any calls or texts, and the put it into her pocket. She the looked up at the ceiling until she felt her eyelids getting heavier and drifted into a dreamless sleep. 

After what seemed to be like hours, Emma woke up at the sound of something falling. She yelped in surprise as she sat up. What the. . .? The black haired female thought as she stared around at her surroundings. Not only wasn't she in her room but everything was in black and white. She rubbed her eyes but nothing. This has to be a dream. . .

"Blast! I dropped it!" a male voice said, Emma stood up abruptly in shock as she stumbled backwards.

"What?" another voice, a female, asked.

"The torch!"

"Well, use a match!"

"No, I haven't got any. Oh, never mind."

Emma slowly walked backwards, now seeming hard to breath, until her back bumped into something. She let out a small screech. The two people in there heard it and continued searching for the voice into the junkyard - now somewhat in darkness. Emma stared behind her to see the TARDIS.

"Susan?! Are you alright?"

"Susan? Susan?" The man started up a short flight of stairs which led to the building at the back of the yard. Emma placed a hand on her mouth, trying not make any sound as she also tried not to cry. This must be a nightmare, or a cruel joke. "Susan?" He came back down. "Susan! Mr. Chesterton and Miss Wright!" Emma tensed at the mention of the names. No. This can't be real. It's impossible. He looked behind the stairs then, quietly to himself. "Can't have got out without us seeing her?"

"Ian. . . look at this!"

Emma quickly hid at the side of the blue box. Barbara had found the Police Box, which stood next to the stairs.

"Well, it's a police box! What on earth's it doing here? Well, these things are usually on the street. . ." Ian put his hand on the box's side whilst saying this but he stopped dead in surprise. He touched it with his full hand, more firmly. "Feel it! Feel it!" Barbara quickly put the back of her hand on and off the side of the box. "Did you feel it?"

"It's a faint vibration. . . ."

He took a step back from the box as he said. "It's alive!" Ian quickly walked around the back of the box as Barbara waited. Emma, unfortunately, wasn't fast enough to hide and he saw her. "Barbara, there's a girl here!"

"A girl?"

"Yes." Emma shuddered back in shock and fear as she instinctively hid the necklace and ring into her hoodie's pocket. Ian let out his hand toward her. "Hello, there's no need to be afraid." She did not respond, she simply stared at him, unsure whether this was a dream, a prank or worse. "What's your name?" Again nothing. "Listen, we are not here to hurt you. We want to find a student of ours. Susan. Have you seen her?"

"I. . ." Her voice came out like a small squeak. "No. . ." She shook her head, not knowing how she should even reply to that. Should she tell them the truth or would that have bad consequences? "Who. . . Who are you? The both of you."

"Ian Chesterton," He gestured to himself and then to the woman. "Barbara Wright." He turned to the younger female again. "Can you tell us your name?"

"That's not possible." she muttered, ignoring his question for the moment, trembling in the meantime. "You can't be real. You are not real."

The teachers shared a look. Ian spoke again. "I assure you, miss, we are very real. Now, care to enlighten us with your name?"

"My name is Emma." she replied reluctantly. "Emma Jones."

As she stepped into the light, and the two adults could see her better, they stared in slight shock. She tilted her head to the side in confusion until she looked at what she was wearing; shorts, a hoodie with a logo which read 'BOSS' vertically, converse shoes and plain shocks. From their perspective, she was completely out of her time and she could see why.

Her cheeks grew hot from embarrassment and decided to change the subject. "Uhm. . . You were talking about the, uh, Police Box."

"Oh right! It's not connected to anything, unless it's through the floor."

Barbara sighed. "Look, I-I've had enough. Let's go, get miss Jones out of here and find a policeman."

"Yes, all right. . ."

A coughing sound echoed through the junkyard from outside the gates.

"Is that her?"

"That’s not her. . ." The gate creaked open. Ian grabbed Emma's hand. "Quick!"

They hid behind the stairs. An old man walked into view. Seemingly in his mid seventies or late sixties, with straight, slightly long white hair, wearing an Astrakhan hat, cloak and scarf. He coughed and waved a handkerchief to clear the air. He walked up to the box, pulling out a key and, holding a slim pen flashlight in the other hand, started to insert the key into the lock set into the box's door.

A cheerful feminine voice exclaimed. "There you are, grandfather!"

"It’s Susan!" Barbara whispered but was shocked, Ian hushed her.

The old man heard them. He pocketed the key and shined the torch on the stairs as Ian came out of hiding. "Excuse me. . ." He said sheepishly.

The old man shined the pen torch at his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, we're looking for a girl."

"We?"

Barbara stepped into view as she gently held Emma's arm. "Good evening."

"What do you want?"

"Um. . . . one of our pupils, Susan Foreman, came into this yard." Ian responded. "And we found miss Jones here too."

There was a smile on the elder's face. "Really? In here? Are you sure?"

"Yes. We saw her from across the street." said Barbara

"One of their pupils. Not the police, then. . . ." the old man muttered to himself.

"Er…I…I beg your pardon??" asked Ian

The old man fixed Ian with a stare. "Why were you spying on her? Who are you?"

"We heard a young girl's voice call out to you. . . ."

"Your hearing must be very acute. I didn't hear anything."

Barbara pointed at the box. "It came from in here!"

A flash of fear crossed the older man's face. "You imagined it."

"I certainly did not imagine it!"

The old man pulled Ian by the arm to one side. "Young man. . . Is it reasonable to suppose that anyone would be inside a cupboard like that, hmm?"

"Would it therefore be unreasonable to ask you to let us have a look inside?"

The elder's attention was suddenly drawn to a painting amid the junk. He picked the painting up. "I wonder why I've never seen that before. Now, isn’t that strange? Pretty damp and dirty. . . hmm. . ."

"Won't you help us? We're two of her teachers from the Coal Hill School. We saw her come in and we haven't seen her leave. Naturally, we're worried. . . ." Barbara said, trying to reason with him.

But he wasn't paying attention and then muttered to himself. "Have to be cleaned. . ." He suddenly seemed to notice her again. "Mmm? Oh, I'm afraid it's none of my business. I suggest you leave here."

He put the painting back down and walked back to the Police box, the TARDIS.

"Not until we're satisfied that Susan isn't here and, frankly, I don't understand your attitude. . ." Ian said

"Oh, yours leaves a lot to be desired."

"Will you open the door?"

"There's nothing in there!"

"Then what are you afraid to show us?"

"Afraid? Oh, go away!"

Ian turned to Barbara. "I think we'd better go and fetch a policeman."

"Very well." said the old man

"And you're coming with us."

"Oh. . . am I?" He chuckled. "I don't think so, young man. No, I don't think so..."

Barbara whispered to Ian. "We can't force him!"

"But we can't leave him here! Doesn't it seem obvious to you he's got her locked up in there?" Ian whispered back, Barbara nodded. "Look at it!" The old man was standing away from them again, now seemingly examining a small jug but his real attention was occupied by the teachers conversation as Ian examined the box's door. Emma, on the other hand, was far too stunned to even utter a word as she stood aside. She still couldn't believe that there was the slightest possibility that this was real. She refused to believe it. "There's no door handle. . . must be a secret lock somewhere."

"That was Susan's voice." said Barbara

"Of course it was! Susan. . . Susan? Are you in there? It's Mr. Chesterton and Miss Wright, Susan!"

The old man, the Doctor, spoke. "Don't you think you're being rather high-handed, young man? You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard. You imagined you heard her voice. You believe she might be in there. It's not very substantial, is it?"

"But why won't you help us?" asked Barbara

He put the jug back down and faced the teachers. "I'm not hindering you. If you both want to make fools of yourselves, I suggest you do what you said you'd do. Go and find a policeman. Also, why aren't you taking an example from her." He pointed at Emma who yet again tensed. "She is the only one who minds her own business."

"While you nip off quietly in the other direction." said Ian

The older man momentarily closed his eyes. "Insulting." He faced them again. "There's only one way in and out of this yard. I shall be here when you get back. I want to see your faces when you try to explain away your behaviour to a policeman."

"Nevertheless, we're going to find one. Come along, Barbara. Miss Jones."

The two teachers turned their backs on the old man while dragging the other female along, toward the gate. They've taken only a step when the door of the box opens.

"What are you doing out there?" Susan's voice was heard.

Ian then shouted. "She is in there!"

Suddenly the old male rushed at the two teachers, trying to hold them back. "Close the door!"

"Barbara!"

As Ian struggled with the elder, Barbara dashed through the box's open door and into a large brilliantly lit white room. The walls were covered with circular, indentations. A hexagonal-shaped control console with a cylindrical tube inset in the centre with machinery visible inside. Various antiques decorated the place. A monitor was set into the upper wall. A shocked Susan walked from behind the console. The old man, Emma and Ian walked inside behind Barbara.

"Close the doors, Susan." The girl, Susan, activated a switch on the console, and the large double doors behind the group closed with an electronic hum. "I believe these people are known to you."

"They're two of my schoolteachers! What are you doing here?"

Barbara looked around in wonder as she asked, "Where are we?"

"They must have followed you. That ridiculous school - I knew something like this would happen if we stayed in one place too long."

"But why should they follow me."

"Is this really where you live, Susan?" asked Barbara

"Yes."

"And what's wrong with it?" the old man asked

"But it was just a telephone box. . . ." Ian said

"Perhaps."

"And this is your grandfather. . ?" asked Barbara

"Yes." replied Susan

Barbara addressed the old man. "Well, why didn't you tell us that?"

"I don't discuss my private life with strangers."

"But it was a police telephone box. I walked all round it! Barbara, you saw me!" Ian said

Emma remained quiet, not wanting to draw any attention to herself as she felt this could just be a silly prank plotted by her adoptive brothers. The old man looked very much like the first Doctor, just like the others looked like the actors from the classic show. The Doctor crossed to an antique ormolu clock on a nearby stand. "You don't deserve any explanations. You pushed your way in here, uninvited and unwelcome."

"I think we ought to leave...." Barbara said

"No, just a minute." said Ian and he crossed to the the strange elder.

The Doctor muttered to himself as he examined the clock. "Dear, dear, dear, this is very…."

"I know this is absurd, but I feel. . . I walked all around it!"

The Doctor's attention was still occupied by the clock. "It's stopped again, you know, and I've tried. . ." He took notice of Ian. "Hmm? Oh, you wouldn't understand at all."

And he walked back to the console. Ian followed him. "But I want to understand!"

The Doctor was uninterested. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." He removed his cloak and scarf over an old chair, keeping his hat on. "Oh by the way Susan, I've managed to find a replacement for that faulty filament. Bit of an amateur job, but I, er, I think it'll serve."

The Doctor took an electronic object out of his pocket and walked to the console. He started to insert the object into the console, effecting repairs. 

"It's an illusion. It must be. . ."

"What is he talking about now?"

Susan asked her teachers again. "What are you doing here?"

The Doctor coughed quietly to gain their attention. "You don't understand, so you find excuses. Illusions, indeed? You say you can’t fit an enormous building into one of your smaller sitting rooms?"

"No." Ian responded

"But you've discovered television, haven't you?"

"Yes. . ."

"Then by showing an enormous building on your television screen, you can do what seemed impossible, couldn’t you?"

"Well. . . yes, but I still don't know. . ."

"It’s not quite clear, is it? I can see by your face that you're not certain. You don't understand." He laughed. "And I knew you wouldn't! Never mind." He turned back to the console. "Now then, which switch was it. . . ? No, no, no. . . . Ah yes, that is it!" He flipped the switch. "The point is not whether you understand. . ." He turned back to Ian. "What is going to happen to you, hmm?" He turned to his granddaughter. "They'll tell everybody about the ship now."

"The ship. . .?"

"Yes, yes, ship! This doesn't roll along on wheels, you know."

"You mean...it moves?" asked Barbara

"The TARDIS can go anywhere." said Susan

"TARDIS? I don't understand you, Susan."

"Well, I made up the name TARDIS from the initials."

Emma couldn't help herself as she blurted out in excitement. "It stand for Time And Relative Dimension In Space!" Then all eyes fell on her, as if now noticing her presence. Her cheeks heated up while she stared at her feet. "Sorry."

Susan grinned at her. "Yes! That's right! Don't apologize! You understood when you saw the different dimensions inside from those outside, correct?"

"Something like that."

Ian shook his head. "So. Let me get this straight. A thing that looks like a police box, standing in a junkyard. . . it can move anywhere in time and space!?"

Susan exclaimed, "Yes!"

"Quite so." said the Doctor

"But that's ridiculous!"

Susan, exasperated, turned to the Doctor. "Why won't they believe us?"

"Well, how can we?" asked Barbara

The Doctor put his hands on Susan's shoulders. "Now, now, don't get exasperated, Susan. Remember the Red Indian. When he saw the first steam train, his savage mind thought it an illusion too."

"You're treating us like children!" exclaimed Ian

"Am I? The children of my civilization would be insulted."

"Your civilization?"

"Yes, my civilization. I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it. Have you ever thought about what it's like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles?" He motioned to himself and Susan. "Susan and I are cut off from our own planet, without friends or protection. But one day. . ." He gazed into the distance, his arm around Susan. ". . . we shall get back. Yes, one day. . .one day. . ."

Susan was a little distraught as she faced the teachers and Emma. "It's true. Every word of it's true. You don't know what you've done coming here. . ." She turned to the Doctor. "Grandfather, let them go now, please! Look, if the teachers don't understand, they can't. . . they can't hurt us at all! I understand these people better than you. . . their minds reject things they don't understand. . ."

The old man's icy look was his answer. The girl's words seized up in her throat. "No." He walked to the back of the room.

"He can't keep us here. . ." Ian said

"Susan, listen to me, can't you see that all this is an illusion? It's a game that you and your grandfather are playing, if you like. But you can't expect us to believe it." said Barbara

"It's not a game!' said Susan

"But, Susan. . ."

"It's not! Look, I love your school. I love England in the 20th century. The last five months have been the happiest of my life. . . ."

"But you are one of us. You look like us, you sound like us. . . ."

"I was born in another time. Another world."

"Now look here Susan, you. . ." Ian finally gave up and grabbed Barbara's and Emma's arms. The latter let out a surprised yelp. "Oh come on, Barbara, miss Jones, let's get out of here."

They walked towards the wall, the teachers were trying to find the doors.

"No, you two can't get out. He won't let you go."

A high pitched whining sound echoed through the room. At the console, the Doctor was laughing. Emma's head started spinning, she held it with both her hands, she rested her back on the wall and slid down to the floor. Ian pointed at the console and said, "He closed the doors from over there." He moved toward it. "I saw it. . ." He looked over the console. "Now which is it. . . ? Which is it?" He turned to the Doctor. "Which control operates the door?"

"You still think it's all an illusion. . ." said the Doctor

"I know free movement in time and space is a scientific dream I don't expect to find solved in a junkyard!"

"Oh, your arrogance is nearly as great as your ignorance!" laughed the Doctor

"Will you open the door? Open the door!" The Doctor laughed again. "Susan, will you help us?"

"I mustn't! I mustn’t!" Susan replied

Ian sighed and faced the console. "Very well then. I'll have to risk it myself."

"I can't stop you. . ." said the Doctor with suspicious acceptance. The old man's hand brushed a switch just as Ian's came down on a button.

Susan tried to warn Ian. "Oh, don’t touch it! It’s live!"

The shock flung Ian to the floor. "Ian!" Barbara exclaimed, she helped him up and shouted at the Doctor. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"Grandfather, let them go now! Please!"

"And by tomorrow we shall be a public spectacle. A subject for news and idle gossip."

He resolutely turned to the console. Susan moved to stop him. "But they won't say anything. . ."

He clapped hands on the girl's shoulders. "My dear child, of course they will. Put yourself in their place. They're bound to make some sort of a complaint to the authorities - or at the very least talk to their friends." He wagged his finger at her. "If I do let them go, Susan, you realise of course we must go too."

"No. Grandfather, we've had all this out b…"

"There's no alternative, child."

"I want to stay! Look, they're both kind people and the girl looks trustworthy too. Why won't you trust them? All you’ve got to do is ask them to promise to keep our secret and. . ."

"Ιt's out of the question."

"Can't you see that this girl--" Susan pointed at Emma who was still holding her head in her hands. "--Is terrified?"

"That's not my concern."

"I won't go, grandfather. I won't leave the 20th century. . . I'd rather leave the TARDIS and you!"

"Now you're being sentimental and childish."

"No, I mean it."

The Doctor looked at her, the teachers and Emma's form and seemed to reach a decision. "Very well. Then you must go with them. I’ll open the door."

He turned to the console. Barbara asked the girl, "Are you coming, Susan?"

The Doctor started to activate switch after switch on the console.

"Oh no grandfather, no!" exclaimed Susan and she grabbed at him, trying to pull him away.

"Let me go!" shouted the Doctor

"No!"

He kept activating controls despite Susan's best efforts. The room started to shake as the lighting within pulses. Instruments and dials on the console burst into life.

"Get back to the ship’s side! Hold it. . ."

The shaking worsened, and the teachers were flung across the room, Barbara into a chair, Ian onto the floor and Emma slid on the other side of the room- a raucous grinding engine sound rose and fell through the room, the cylindrical column begun to rise and fall. And on the monitor, an overhead view of London was shown, that shrunk, faded and was replaced by a blinding vortex of light and energy. 

Hello! As you guys can see, I am going to start the fanfic from the first series. Of course, I am not going to do EVERY single episode (as I mentioned on the description) but the events would still occur. I might do twenty/fifteen episodes of the first 6 seasons because they are like 60 episodes each. I am crazy but not that crazy.

Also, I originally wanted this to be a Doctor x Reader but I realized that my plans (for the future chapters mostly) may not match the reader. I know that it's a lame thing to say since most of the content I write is x reader but I had to do this in this fanfiction. I promise that I'll try write a somewhat similar fanfiction if you guys want to. 

About Emma. . . I know that I made some stuff a bit too dramatic with her family (especially with emphasizing the fact that she is adopted and some of the members do not accept her) and that I added too much information too soon but it was a necessary way to introduce her character and have a better understanding of her personality as the story goes.

Emma's and the Doctor's relationship will take a long time to develop into something more than friendship but there will be some signs that one of the two has a crush on the other a bit later on the show. In other words, this is going to be one of the longest slow burns.

Anyway, that's all for now! Hope you have an amazing day/night!!!💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[etherealspacejelly]

sorry if you've already answered these questions but I've decided to start watching Star Trek and/or Doctor Who and I was wondering if you had any suggestions or anything. Like with Star Trek I know to start with the TOS cuz that's what you always recommend, but considering it's the original series and there are other series I'm guessing it isn't making new episodes any more, so do you have any advise for what to do if I end up loving TOS and finish it? And how important is it to watch TOS in order? And is there anything I should be warned about first(whether it's content/trigger warnings, specific episodes I should avoid, or anything else)? And for Doctor Who, considering it's had 15(or 16, can't remember if the newest doctor is the 15th or replaced the 15th) main characters I'm guessing it's a pretty long show, so should I start with a later doctor or is it important for me to start from the beginning? And returning to Star Trek cuz fuck normal orders, do you have any suggestions for Star Trek stuff to watch if I like specific aspects of TOS but not all of it?

ok so uh. with star trek i have only seen TOS. im really not the best person to ask about watch order. TOS only has 3 seasons, and they're all about 20 episodes. i would recommend starting at the beginning and watching all of it!! there wasnt really any episode that i didnt enjoy tbh. you dont have to watch it in order ig? the episodes dont really connect in any meaningful way except for the menagerie part one and two. but idk why you would want to watch it out of order?

in terms of content warnings. it is a show from the 60s so there can be some questionable stuff in there (mainly casual misogyny), but for the most part they actually do pretty ok!! the main one that sticks out to me is the episode Miri, in which Kirk (man in his 30s) kinda flirts with this girl Miri and encourages her crush on him (she's chronologically 100s of years old but mentally and physically like. 12.). theres also The Enemy Within where kirks evil clone assaults a woman, but she does fight him off before he actually does anything.

with doctor who, yes there are 15 versions of the doctor. however, there are technically 3 different 'season one's. theres the og season one that aired back in 1963, i would not recommend starting there on a first watch lmao. theres also the current 'season one' that is airing right now! but i dont think it actually makes for a good place to join as a new viewer. they dont do a very good job of introducing the character of the doctor to someone unfamiliar with the franchise, and the lore is just kinda. dumped on you.

i would recommend starting with the middle 'season one', the one that aired in 2005 when the show rebooted after being off the air for about a decade. it was made to be a place for new fans to join, and did a much better job of it than the current season, in my opinion. up until very recently, i had only seen seasons that aired after the reboot in 2005, and so have many other fans my age, so you wont be confused at all if you start there. (also, 9 is a great doctor, and absolutely worth watching!)

if you watch TOS and enjoy it, i think most people recommend watching The Next Generation next, but i have also heard that Deep Space 9 is good? idk, like i said ive only seen TOS so far, but i love it and am obsessed with it lmao.

hope that helps?

[evas-apartment]

Alright! So, I got a wrestling story, and it's gonna be a bit long, but I wanted to talk about it, cause I think it's wild. I'm gonna put it under a cut, just not to take up too much of your dash, but I hope you read it!

My favorite wrestler currently working is a guy named CM Punk. He's worked all over, been active from like '99, been around. Excellent promo, dude can fucking TALK, really good in the ring, can tell a great story. Without giving his whole fucking history, worked in a bunch of companies, signed with WWE in 2005, won basically everything there, THE biggest thing in wrestling in 2011, never main-evented Wrestlemania, felt some type of way about it, currently has the 7th longest WWE Championship reign of all time, dude's decorated. Punk was sick for a while, the WWE doctor misdiagnosed a staph infection he had, gave him copious antibiotics for it, it didn't work, Punk almost died, WWE killed his love for wrestling, he leaves, actually gets treated for his staph infection, gets fired on his fucking wedding day in 2014, sues WWE for almost killing him, wins.

CM Punk is out of wrestling from 2014-2019, comes back for a wrestling talk-show on FS1 for a bit, doesn't amount to much. In the mean time, another wrestling company comes up called All Elite Wrestling, it's excellent, awesome in-ring stuff, awesome stories, jesus fucking christ we actually have another wrestling company to watch cause it was basically just WWE for major American wrestling since 200-fucking-1. AEW CEO Tony Khan wants to bring in CM Punk, Punk is pretty sure he wants to come back to wrestling, but unfortunately it's now 2020. No crowds. We're not doing this. Able to hold off until August 2021, when CM Punk sells out the United Center in Chicago (famously his home town) based off the RUMOR that he signed with AEW, he hadn't been formally announced yet, cause he's the fucking goat.

Punk comes back, has excellent match after excellent match, excellent promo after excellent promo, a man who already had a hall of fame career was putting out some of the best stuff of his entire life, we were fucking EATING. I'm DYING to see the love of my life live and in person, things are going well.

My IRL best friend who also likes wrestling always said, hey, if they announce a joint AEW and NJPW (the top Japanese wrestling promotion, famous for extremely good wrestling) show, we're going. They announce it for June 26th, 2022. In Chicago. CM Punk's hometown. In May of 2022, CM Punk after months of teasing, is challenging for the AEW World Heavyweight Championship against Hangman Adam Page, another of my favorites.

May 29th, 2022, at the AEW Double or Nothing pay-per-view, CM Punk wins the motherfucking World Heavyweight Championship, BASICALLY, my favorite wrestler beat my best friend's favorite wrestler for the grandest prize in all of wrestling, he yelled, I yelled, it was magical. We're going to Chicago, Punk's coming to Chicago, I'm going to see my sexy man with the sexy belt receiving a hometown reaction with the fucking GOLD around his waist.

Five days after winning the belt, CM Punk jumps into the crowd at a show, to be amongst HIS people, beloved. Punk bangs his foot against the guardrail went crowd dicing. My beautiful boy smashes his fucking foot apart. He's out of action. Punk isn't going to Chicago. I'm going to Chicago.

We go to Chicago, have some of the most fun I've ever had in my entire life, watch a supremely excellent wrestling pay-per-view live, loved it, would do it again. What a shame Punk couldn't be there. They crown an interim AEW WHC, Jon Moxley. That's okay, I really like Jon, he deserves it.

August 10th, 2022, CM Punk makes his triumphant return to AEW, I'm stoked, we have a big show coming up in September, time to unify the interim and world heavyweight belts so Punk can have his reign. Right?

August 24th, 2022. They jump the gun. Jon Moxley is from Cincinnati, Ohio. This show is taking place in nearby Cleveland. Oh no. The crowd LOVES Mox and HATES Punk. Jon absolutely squashes Punk in 3 minutes to become the AEW Undisputed Champion. Oh god oh fuck. But it's okay! The September show, AEW All Out is in Chicago! Cause it always is! Punk will get his win back, and we'll get the Punk reign we all want!.......................right?

Punk's coming to Chicago.

September 4th, 2022. AEW All Out in Chicago. CM Punk defeats Jon Moxley in a great match to regain the AEW World Heavyweight Championship. I'm happy. Me and my bff watch it live in theatres like we do every PPV. We enjoy it thoroughly, we leave. I get home to all this news about the post show media scrum that took place, and the things Punk said. It's BIG. news. Oh god. Oh fuck.

CM Punk. Tired, bloody, battered, and your brand new AEW Champion goes on a BLISTERING tirade about his coworkers, wrestling, wrestling media, everything. It's bad. It's darkly entertaining, but it's bad. He's sitting next to AEW CEO Tony Khan saying things like calling executive Vice Presidents of AEW and fellow wrestlers, the tag team the Young Bucks guys who "couldn't manage a fucking Target". He accuses the Bucks, and people in their circle of feeding negative stories about Punk to wrestling media. Perhaps most damaging, he talk about the man he first beat to become world champion in AEW, Hangman Adam Page, a generally well-like and respected man. Page infamously said in an interview that he doesn't take advice from anyone, and likes to figure out things for himself. Alright Hanger, weird but you do you. On this, Punk called Hangman, and this is a quote, an "empty-headed fucking dumb fuck" who "never accomplished anything in this business". Really harsh Punk, genuinely not cool. This scrum hurt him, I think. It hurt the belt he just won, Adam Page's most prominent achievement, and it damages the company you work for. A black spot for us Punk fans, but.... I mean.... how bad could things be, right? Apologize, go into damage control...............................................................................................right?

Punk finishes the press conference by saying, essentially "if anyone has a fucking problem with me, say it to my fucking face. At the end of they day, wrestlers are people with feelings. You guys should be more respectful of that, and more mindful of the stories you guys put out. Thank you." It's over. Punk leaves, belt in tact. The Bucks take his advice, and go talk to Punk in his dressing room.

A fight breaks out. people get punched, a guy gets bit, chairs get thrown, I believe a dog was hurt, it was awful. There's so much misinformation, and mythologizing about what has been since known as "Brawl Out" that it's hard for me to reliably tell you guys anything about it, cause it's extremely hard to know who or what to trust. It was really bad. In that match Punk had with Jon Moxley, Punk did a dive to outside the ring and tore his triceps. He's hurt again. Due to this, and the backstage fight, CM Punk is forced to relinquish his world championship for a second time. He's held the belt twice, and only defended it one time. I'm apoplectic y'all. Oh god, oh fuck.

During ALL of this, during All Out, the show, they announce that the November PPV, AEW Full Gear is taking place in my homestate, the greatest place on earth, New Jersey, at the Prudential Center. I watch the show. Punk wins the belt. Punk is coming to New Jersey! I though, the absolute fucking fool I was. Punk isn't coming to New Jersey you stupid slut.

I bought tickets to Chicago to see my king CM Punk. Punk couldn't make it. I buy tickets to Newark to go see my babygirl CM Punk, Punk can't make it (sounds like my childhood lol).

CM Punk has yet to officially come back to AEW. He's been out mending his triceps injury. But. In the same way that he was TOTALLY signing with AEW, but not officially announced, it has been reliably reported that AEW is going to announce THIS WEDNESDAY that a brand new TV Show on Saturday's is going to be airing. There will be one roster of guys working the Wednesday shows, one roster of guys working the Saturday shows. It is widely speculated that CM Punk is going to be working on Saturdays. CM Punk on his insta, in between reels of him watching hockey, and reels of working out (working out for what, huh??? 👀👀👀), he likes a post about someone buying tickets to the AEW Collision shows, airing on Saturday. Ladies and Gentlemen, delusions aside, I believe. The king of my world, my favorite professional wrestler on the planet CM Punk. Will be returning to AEW to kick off this brand new television show. Do you wanna know how I know? They announced a couple of dates they're hitting, a couple in Canada, ONE IN NEW JERSEY, and one elsewhere, they haven't announced it yet. They're announcing it this Wednesday. Internet sleuths have figured out where. On the date in question, Saturday June 17th, The United Center is booked for a show. The same venue I went to see him initially. In CM Punk's hometown. Of Chicago, Illinois.

BABES IT'S HAPPENING. AND THE COLLISION TOUR IS COMING TO THE PRUDENTIAL CENTER IN NEW JERSEY. AFTER GOD AND ALL OF HIS BASTARD ANGELS HAVE CURSED ME AND MY FUCKING LIFE. STOPPING ME FROM SEEING MY FUCKING SWEETHEART CM PUNK LIVE BEFORE MY EYES. NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. THIRD'S TIME THE CHARM. I'M GOING. I BOUGHT THE TICKETS ALREADY. I'M GOING TO SEE CM PUNK AT AEW COLLISION SATURDAY 22ND, 2023. IT'S HAPPENING, IT'S HAPPENING, IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING. I HAVE FLOOR SEATS. SUMMER OF PUNK 2023 BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

I mean, hopefully. lol.

If you read this, I love you dearly, and i would kiss you on the mouth. I know it's a lot, but wrestling is my thing. so. indulge me why dontcha. if you have any questions, or wanna talk about it, i'm more than willing. i'm not proofreading this, i've already spent 45 minutes writing this bye-bye love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu <3

[thejuniperjinx]

I have no idea what to do with this blog, and I kind of feel like I am just talking into a void, but I cant afford therapy anymore, and I am determined to write more, even if its just journal-ish entries on here.

Here’s to writing for an hour a day, when I could be reading or doom scrolling. 

Today, I put on the ‘Strange Mix’ playlist Spotify made me. It seems to mostly be weird musical soundtracks i have ‘liked’, offbeat bands, and those secret songs that used to be at the end of albums, so the track is like 4 minutes, but the music doesnt start until a minute and 30 seconds in. And as always, I shoved it to ‘shuffle’ because I cant stand listening to things in order. 

I have been playing Fallout 76 alot lately, and thinking of looking into fanfic based on it. I read some Fallout 3 fic last year, and I have this romance idea stuck in my head between a PC, and the Raider Punk Ally. I think I just like his hair. Being at the elder end of millennial, and having graduated just before emo became a thing, I still find punk looks very attractive. Probably why I married a musician. I just wish he would find a job already. Its been a year. 

My favorite band has been MCR since 2005. Like embarrassingly so. I was in the top 1% of listeners last year on spotify. I would be embarrassed, but in your 30s you kind of stop caring what other people think of the things you like. I am leaning harder into my nerdy passions every year. I spent middle and high school and the first half of my 20s desperately trying to be cool, when the clothes were uncomfortable, concerts were too loud, and coffee was gross. I know enjoy things I want to. I love my leggings and sherpa socks, listening to whatever I want, at the volume I choose. And I am unashamed of ordering tea at the coffee shop. I hate feeling icky all day from the acid in coffee. 

I am living with undiagnosed ADHD. I am 100% sure I have it, but I cant afford the copays to see a doc, and the therapy I could afford cannot diagnose. Whoever came up for health insurance you have to pay for AND then copays it requires to see a doctor was fucking evil. Free Healthcare for ALL!! 

Okay, this playlist has a lot of the ‘tiktok’ songs on it too I guess. 

This seems to be turning into a stream of consciousness thing today I guess. Whatever, at least I am putting something down. 

I discovered Kimya Dawson via The Moldy Peaches because of Juno. That movie has an awesome soundtrack. 

I still write most of the fiction/fanfiction/stories I work on long hand and then type them up. The problem seems to be switching between the media. If I start on paper, I have a creative block unless I continue on paper. If I start by typing (way easier) I want to continue typing. Typing is just easier, and I can go longer, and I sit at a computer all day. Problem is I cannot work on my own stuff at work, as its all monitored, and I dont want to save it to the work computer, and google docs is not accessible at work. Also I am on the main aisle, and everyone can see my computer screen. 😒😒😒

I enjoy my job. Its fun. I design kitchens. I am still mastering the job after 9 months of training, and only being able to start doing full designs and sales since October. I have been with the company 11 years, and the ability to change spots and learn new stuff has always made me happy. Now I just with I had some better consistency with my schedule. Its way better than when I worked in customer service though, I hated doing turn and burns. 

And the timer just went off. I cant believe an hour flew that fast. Tomorrow is a work day, so maybe i will have an idea for something more entertaining than this stream of conscousness i dropped today. 

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 5

"Bloody Mary"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes? Unequivocally yes. One: My friends growing up were a bunch of girls in Catholic school who wouldn't even do "light as a feather, stiff as a board" let alone Bloody Mary! I think the most that any of us did was tell really cliche ghost stories. Two: I am a notorious scaredy cat and would have just answered the question in Truth or Dare instead of switching to dare. AND Three: Since it was actually the dad that suffered the consequences and I don't have kids, I still survive. 5/5. I'm doing SO. WELL.

Hell yeah, our first Ohio based episode! Dean looks soooooo pleased to be here. Thanks, Dean...

Why are "Ohio State med students" in Toledo to look at a body for a paper?

I was gonna applaud the lab guy for standing his ground not letting them in until he was so easily bribed. Okay...now he's just extorting them, and I kinda like him again. Get that bread.

As someone who was a teen in Ohio in 2005, the hair, makeup, and wardrobe for these girls is VERY Ohio teen in 2005.

Oof. The writers...like, it's believable that a teenage girl would blame herself for her ex's death,...and I am glad Dean had the sense to say that it wasn't her fault when going over it with Sam.

(I'm back on my Todobros AU bullshit for a sec. Sorry if you're here strictly for superwholock, my main fandom these days IS My Hero Academia. So, the monster today is a ghost of a girl named Mary who kills people who have kept the secret of their involvement, however slight, in someone else's death. Sam wants to be used as bait via Jessica's death, and he says that there's stuff about that night he hasn't told Dean. IMAGINING a future scenario where Shoto would feel the need to keep a secret about guilt he's feeling from Touya is hitting me in the feels...I don't like it)

I can't wait til Sam does tell Dean the secret about what happened the night of Jessica's death. Maybe then we'll stop getting so many flashbacks to it/we can move on from Sam's nightmares (though, I don't think we'll be done with them for a while, if I'm honest).

Why didn't they cover more of the mirrors in this place??

Another Dean lie that horribly backfired. You love to see it.

OH SHIT. I forgot a lot about these seasons. I definitely forgot his nightmares started before she died.

Did Dean just UNO Reverse a fuckin' ghost??

"Been On My Mind" Tracker: No action for either of the Winchesters in this episode (Guess I might as well track this til Castiel shows up.)

"The Unquiet Dead"

WOULD I SURVIVE THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THIS EPISODE? Actually, probably. I don't think that we'll be on that particular rift when the time comes for that situation. But, like, say we were on A rift that would cause whatever's going on (it's been a while, you're lucky I'm remembering it's a rift) to happen, it would take the tired, overworked mortician to save me.

Ok, the staff at this funeral home in 1860 London is an absolute delight in a most morbid way. They're so over the dead coming to life again. Can't they just stay in place?? I can't believe we have to go body snatching AGAIN

I need a TARDIS wardrobe.

I no longer like the funeral home guy. How dare you threaten her job when she's the only one who CAN help you in these cases.

Why does Rose have to change, but the Doctor can wear *checks notes* jeans and a modern leather jacket??

As much as I like episodes where the Doctor is already friends with historical figures, him coming to the realization that he's just stolen Charles Dickens's carriage and brought the man himself along for the ride is every bit as good.

Nine getting all smiley over this dude using the house's reputation to his advantage is adorable.

Every time Rose finds a way to connect with a character who no one in their time or place would hardly pay any attention to, my heart swells. When she spoke to the maintenance worker last episode and the woman working for the undertaker. She really is the "let's talk about labor rights" companion.

... are the ghosts in the rift the Cybermen? Am I remembering that correctly? (I don't actually want an answer right now, but I feel like I'm right)

Took me forever to figure out where I knew the actor playing Charles Dickens from, but he also played Monsieur Andre in the Phantom of the Opera movie...and he also had a role in Galavant, but I'm having a hard time remembering right now

A recurring theme I love in Doctor Who is the Doctor reassuring artists that their life’s work matters

Tomorrow's my first real episode of Sherlock, and I feel like it's going to be better than when I watched the unaired pilot. We'll get Mycroft back, for one. And 221b will be decorated the way it SHOULD BE.

Wanna know one of my least favorite facts about me? Omg. This should have been my random fun fact in that 15 question post...(though it has changed a little over the years) when i set out to decorate my living room in 2014 (TWENTY FOURTEEN), I took most of my inspiration from the living room at 221b. There's so much London themed decor, I have a pillow that bears the famous wallpaper INCLUDING the smiley face Sherlock paints on it. My grandma gave me this owl bank and I put headphones on it like the the one animal skull. These things have not changed. Now, no one would look at my living room and go "yes, this looks exactly like the Sherlock set," but it has just enough touches that I know...and now YOU know.

I had no business making fun of Dracula being a teaboo last year when my own sins are still very much present in my house.

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story.  Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!  

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | 

     ┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

.

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

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[muffin-n-waffle]

I watched manic pixie period drama dream girl last night — oh, I mean Persuasion, so you don’t have to. Thankfully I had a glass of wine with me, so I got sleepy and don’t remember much, but I’ll put my thoughts into some bullet points. This is coming from someone who has never read the novel, but I did watch the older period drama adaptation years ago.

The cinematography and set design wasn’t terrible, but you could tell that they were trying to be several different movies at once. Mostly Pride and Prejudice 2005, Emma 2020, and the new Little Women movie.

It was style without any substance behind it. I didn’t care about the characters at all.

Dakota Johnson’s acting is incredibly one note. When she’s not being smarmy during her talking lines to the camera (and there are so many of those), she’s either just smiling when people are talking to her, or looking sad. There’s also a scene where her sister in law falls off of a ledge by the ocean, and there’s literally no panic in her voice when she asks for someone to fetch a doctor.

Wentworth’s actor did well, and his performance was clearly very nuanced. His eyes always seem to look sleepy though, which isn’t really a complaint, since that’s just how his face is, but it’s just something I observed.

“Now we’re worse than strangers. We’re exes.”

“Now we’re worse than exes. We’re friends.”

“He’s a ten. I never trust a ten.”

Honestly it felt like everyone was acting circles around poor Dakota. I have nothing else to compare her acting to, so maybe she’s actually decent, and the direction, and obviously writing, led her astray?

A huge pet peeve I have with period dramas is when they feel as if they have to make it known who the main character is. Usually they give them more current looking hairstyles, or just have them leave their hair down completely. This happens a lot to Anne here. If she doesn’t have bangs prettily framing her face, her hair is down, or she’s wearing quirky little hats. It’s very distracting when everyone else around her looks as if they’re in more period appropriate attire with period appropriate hairstyles to boot.

They gave Anne a quirky little rabbit. I have no idea why.

She breaks the 4th wall so many times. It’s something I love to see in a good mockumentary, and Fleabag did it well too, but it just ain’t working here.

I think it’s the vibes. The vibes are off because this story is supposed to be more sad (until their happy ending). What is with all this hateful sarcasm, and very sad attempts at comedy?

They've tried to make Anne a Lizzy/Emma hybrid. Someone make it stop.

Anne literally describes a face sucking octopus dream that she has to her distant viscountess relation, where she then discovers in the dream that she herself is the octopus. What.

Don't worry, though, she and Wentworth get back together in the end. I feel nothing.

Well, all in all, the movie was pretty to look at. I didn't hate the concept of a fourth wall breaking period drama, but this was the worst story they could have picked for something like this. Just make something original, maybe? Stop trying to use Jane Austen's name, as well as other period dramas, for a quick cash grab.

[leam1983]

On Evolving Tastes

1989: "I know of no other games than Super Mario Bros. 1 through 3, Tetris, Doctor Mario and Mickey's Mousecapade. This will last for a few years, until my aunt will introduce me to bootleg 300-in-one cartridges. Ironically, I'll only ever touch Yie Ar Kung Fu, Macross, Mappy, Dig Dug and City Connection."

1990: "Dad's discovered that a store near his office sells Tengen cartridges for a fraction of officially-licenced titles! He gets me Gauntlet on the super cheap, thinking I'll play it once and forget about it, but Gauntlet becomes the one game I play the most often."

1996: "Man, Earthworm Jim and Myst are going to dominate this summer vacation! I might even work in some time for a few Mortal Kombat tourneys!"

1999: "I got over my giant snob self and gave Quake and Half-Life a shot. Something's shifted, for sure. I'm not sure, but I might actually like a few shooters..."

2001: "I am a grown-ass man and I cannot stop playing The Sims. Please send help, I'm nurturing an unhealthy God complex."

2002: "I'm really mad at myself for not finding out about Vampire - The Masquerade: Redemption until two years after its release."

2004: "Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines has consumed me."

2005: "Study? Yeah, sure, I do - but Unreal Tournament 2004 is where it's at - whenever Black & White 2 doesn't consume for weeks on end."

2006: "My Dad introduced me to SimCity 3000 several years too late, which is introducing me to the wacky world of PC retrogaming. I now use his beige croaker of a clerical machine to work on Isometric metropolises while snapping my fingers to some real-ass Jazz bops."

2007: "I resisted for two years, but finally caved in to Guitar Hero. It's also the best excuse I had to get a Slim PS2."

2008: "I used my paycheck from my first Real, Adult Man Job at the campus to get myself an XBOX 360 and Fable II! I'll spend years playing it while ignoring the game's obvious flaws!"

2009: "I kinda hate myself for it, but I splurged on a PS3 after a friend showed me Super Stardust HD."

2010: "Fuck you, getting myself a Wii for the express purpose of playing the Metroid Prime Trilogy. Also, ow, this exact fucking thing will also send me off to my first serious GP appointment as an adult, for a Carpal Tunnel Syndrome diagnosis. I'll spend two years wearing a wrist brace and playing through all three games in short bursts. The tendon responsible for retracting my right thumb is on permanent fire and every gameplay session puts me through a physical gauntlet, but every new gameplay component the series introduces makes me feel like a kid again."

2011: "Skyrim. Just - Skyrim. I'll perpetrate my first and only acts of professional truancy to devote entire weeks to my quest log. It helps that this winter was particularly Siberian, so I had plenty of excuses to stay home and slay dragons."

2014: "I power through Destiny on the PS3 and spend about four months being extremely hooked onto the game's universe and lore. I'll design character after character even after finishing the main quest four times, because I finally discovered what Halo stans have been enjoying for years - which is an approachable and still complex Fantasy/Sci-Fi shooter that hasn't yet lost its narrative compass...

Luckily, I also find out about Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor and realize I have a thing for Uruk-Hai labelled as "The Friendly". I'll spend a year at the pace of an hour or two per day trying to populate my two camps with nothing but Friendlies."

2015: "As is usually the case, I come into this a few years too late and discover the joy that is Saints Row: The Third. GTA never grabbed me, while Volition's total lack of self-seriousness delights me. I buy Saints Row IV immediately after finishing my first run-through, and find that Volition's writing team is the only thing that keeps me going. If it weren't for JB Blanc's mouth-watering portrayal of Emperor Zinyak, I'd be playing a fun, if average third-person shooter."

2016: "Bigger job titles means more disposable income, which means my first custom-built tower PC after years of prebuilts - and a PS4! Destiny 2 and GTA 5 are big ones on there, but the first one disappoints me with how it gatekeeps the lore behind high-skill activities that are unfriendly for players with navigational or reflex-related issues (i.e. moi) and the second turns absolutely turgid at any moment that doesn't feature Trevor Philips.

Seriously, who do I have to call at Rockstar to let them know I don't give a rat's ass about Michael DeSanta's midlife hoodlum crisis?!"

2017: "Middle-Earth: Shadow of War, baby! Copy and paste my fixation from 2014, except now Friendlies are voiced by JB Blanc. Thank fuck for apartments, 'cause I wouldn't have wanted my folks to see me aggressively blush any time a Friendly crossed swords with me, claiming to want to be my pal."

2020: "Welp, guess it's nothing except slaying demons and building an island commune on my brand-new Nintendo Switch... Oh, and wouldn't you know it, Cyberpunk 2077 just came out, and in such a state that I won't seriously touch it until September 2022..."

2021: "What's happening to me? Why am I so psyched about Power Washer Simulator? Why did I spend nearly as much time in Mechanic Simulator 2021 as I did in Skyrim? Why do I persist in being hyped for House Flipper despite reports of horribly unoptimized code?"

2022: "I might as well embrace it: I have no hair on top and grow a mo' in an afternoon, I can only maintain a very mild case of fitness and there's fifteen to twenty pounds I just can't get rid of no matter how hard I try. I am a Dad, now. I have the Dad Bod - the real one, not the one perpetuated by misaligned kiddies who'd call British Pop Music starlets Daddy - and I am now oddly hyped for Construction Simulator. I've finished Cyberpunk four times, played through Elden Ring twice, and I'm at the point where I'd honestly be excited by a game that finds some way to simplify the act of grading papers.

I dream of a twist on Papers, Please where one plays as a lecturer and where the goal of the game is to grade papers while avoiding interpersonal or professional scandals, as well as meeting faculty quotas..."

[denimbex1986]

'The Tardis has landed. If you have been following along, you know that Jodie Whittaker‘s Thirteenth Doctor has morphed into David Tennant‘s Fourteenth Doctor, who was also the Tenth Doctor, a re-regeneration unheard of in the annals of the Time Lords. (Someone better informed than I might be aware of a precedent — anyway, it’s rare.) You can’t go home again, wrote Thomas Wolfe, but F. Scott Fitzgerald said you can repeat the past — of course you can.

Indeed, the past repeats gloriously in “Doctor Who: The Star Beast,” the first of three 60th-anniversary specials premiering Saturday that will end in a fourth, with the Christmas Day advent of Ncuti Gatwa as Doctor No. 15 in “The Church on Ruby Road.” (“Wild Blue Yonder” on Dec. 2 and “The Giggle” on Dec. 9 complete this anniversary series.) This is also the first episode of the beloved British franchise to appear under Disney+’s deal with the BBC to become its exclusive international home, outside of the U.K. and Ireland, but so far the House of Mouse seems to have interfered only to the extent of pouring a bucket of cash into a production that sometimes could look strapped for it.

Running the show again is Russell T Davies, who in 2005 brought “Doctor Who” back to life after 16 years, during which time the character had survived in novels, comics, radio dramas and a single TV movie. Christopher Eccleston played the Doctor for the first revival season; but Tennant, who took over the role that Christmas and kept it until the dawn of 2010, was the gift the Doctor and Davies had been waiting for. And arguably — there will always be argument around “Doctor Who” — they were never better than when Catherine Tate, a hilarious comic actor with a talent for breaking your heart, joined them as the Doctor’s human traveling companion and very best mate Donna Noble. And she’s back as well. Exclamation point! Life could not be better. Let their fierce chemistry recommence.

Yes, yes, I hear you say, but didn’t the Doctor bury Donna’s memory in order to keep her head from exploding when she absorbed a lethal dose of Time Lord mojo? And if she remembers him now, won’t she die? Of course, this sort of science fiction can always rewrite the rules, as desired, or discover a new one. Canon is useful only insofar as it doesn’t get in the way of the story, and Davies’ sensibility is more attuned to poetry than plot, which is just a tool to make you feel big feelings. But you should be concerned for them. I mean, I was.

After a worrisome, cheap-looking, afterthought of a prologue, in which Tennant and Tate, speaking to the camera, fill in backstory for the benefit of Disney+ subscribers new to “Who,” we dive into the episode proper, which looks fantastic, begins fast and gets faster. No time is wasted bringing our main players onstage, to a busy London street. We are reminded that Donna, before she became an adventurer in time and space, had a habit of missing things, and she does here, as a spacecraft blazes across the sky and lands with a bang in the distance. And she feels that something is missing from her otherwise happy life, but she can’t say what it is.

The Doctor also will meet Donna’s daughter, the not arbitrarily named Rose (Yasmin Finney), and meet again Donna’s husband, Shaun Temple (Karl Collins), last seen at their wedding back in 2010. Ruth Madeley plays Shirley Anne Bingham, a droll science advisor from UNIT, which guards the world — well, London at least — from extraterrestrial and paranormal threats. (It hasn’t always succeeded.) The resident alien is the Meep (voiced by Miriam Margolyes), making its screen debut — the episode is based on a story from a comic in Doctor Who magazine — which presents first as something like Gizmo the Gremlin, and then as something more like a Gremlin after it’s been fed after midnight.

In his quantum way, the Doctor is always the same person but different — except here, where he is very much his old self again, only 13 years older. I have love, in different degrees, for all successive Doctors. (The Doctor, calling himself “the one in the skinny suit,” ticks off his subsequent regenerations: “After that I wear a bow tie, after that I’m a Scotsman, after that I’m a woman.”)

Similarly, each showrunner — including Steven Moffat and Chris Chibnall, who followed and now have been followed by Davies — brought something different to the show, while it always remained fundamentally “Doctor Who.” (Some fans would say otherwise.) But Davies is the architect of the 21st century series, which never seemed tired or strained under his watch, as it sometimes later could. His blend of comedy, tragedy, suspense, romance, terror and farce is quite exhilarating, and with Tennant and Tate, he has two players who have his music down. It’s going to be hard losing them again — I’m getting a little teary just thinking about it — but it’s already on the schedule, and come Christmas, there’ll be a new Doctor to sing this song.'

[theparanormalperiodical]

Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*

At the beating heart of horror is offence.

From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.

It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.

Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.

And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.

Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.

*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*

#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*

Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.

In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.

The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.

IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.

There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims. 

#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*

Time for another not-too-disturbing film.

This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.

But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.

“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”

#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.

Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.

In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.

#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.

Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.

Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.

#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*

You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.

Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.

A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.

It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.

#5 - Psycho (1960)*

This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.

Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.

In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.

*gasp*

This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.

#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)

I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.

I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.

Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.

*retches*

At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.

Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.

The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.

Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.

Good riddance, I guess?

#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)

I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.

This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.

Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.

However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.

#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.

The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.

Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.

And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.

#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)

No.

Nope.

Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.

A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…

Just don’t watch it.

It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.

*shakes head*

Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.

If you, uhhh, liked this post please like and reblog.

And if you want to hear more about horror and the supernatural every week hit follow!

[eretzyisrael]

Lama Al-Manar, 36, doesn't remember what she put into the small bag she was carrying when she stepped into a Red Crescent ambulance, other than medical documents. She doesn't remember the last words her husband, who was riding with her, said to her before they separated at the Erez crossing. She doesn't know whether he followed them with his gaze when she walked toward the crossing and passed from the Gaza Strip to Israel, where a Magen David Adom ambulance was waiting for her.

From the moment she left Shifa Hospital that afternoon, until she arrived at Sheba Medical Center at Tel Hashomer some five hours later, Lima's eyes never left the incubator that was holding her son, Abdullah, 2.5 months old, whose tiny body was receiving oxygen.

She also wouldn't have remembered what day it was if they hadn't explained how lucky she had been. It was Monday, May 10, 2021, the day on which Operation Guardian of the Walls against Hamas infrastructure in Gaza began. The ambulance that brought her and her son to Israel was the last allowed through Erez crossing before it was closed for 13 days.

Three children are waiting for her at home. Two years ago, she gave birth to a stillborn child, and when she became pregnant for the fifth time, she was eager for the new baby to bring joy back to the home. But Abdullah was born two months prematurely with a complicated heart defect and Lamaand her husband realized they would need to fight for his life.

"I was afraid. His condition wasn't good," Lama says. "He lost weight, and his breathing and other parameters slowed. I prayed to God to heal him. To fight for his little life. A doctor at Shifa Hospital recommended that we send him to Israel for treatment. My husband reached out to the Shevet Achim organization to help us get him there."

Thursday afternoon, the 11th day of the Gaza campaign. The radio reports a rocket alert in Ashkelon, and then a direct hit on a residential building. We arrive at the parking structure attached to the labor ward at Sheba Medical Center, which is next to the Edmond and Lily Safra Children's Hospital. The children's ICU was transferred here on the fifth day of the fighting for fear of rocket hits.

We go down one floor. After walking through the gray halls lined with oxygen tanks at the ready, we encounter a colorful sign decorated with a drawing of a sun and a kite: "Protected Children's ICU." Reality stays outside. In the parking structure, which was filled with cars the previous week, there are 40 small beds. Each one takes up two parking places, and holds a small baby who is hooked up to medical equipment. Nearby is a treatment station, a computer, and a lounge chair for adults.

The beds are separated by flowered curtains that were hung on the metal pipes that line the parking garage's ceiling. No one closes the curtains. There are also hanging screens that are attached to monitors that fill the space with dim beeping.

In the center of the improvised unit are a dialysis cart and another cart that holds equipment for chest drainage. Sometimes, a baby's cry can be heard. It is weak, and starts and stops quickly.

Over bed No. 26 a sign reads: "Abdullah Al-Manar. Date of birth: Feb. 26, 2021. Weight: 1.6 kg (3.52 pounds)." Lamasits on the chair and watches Shani, the nurse, take off Abdullah's cloth diaper, exposing a large incision that runs from his chest to his belly. Shani changes the dressing, rubs cream on it, puts his medicine into the IV bag attached to his small arm, and covers him gently.

In the next bed lies three-month-old Rana, who is recovering from her third open heart surgery, which she underwent two days earlier. On the left is Yazen, a month old, who had a catheterization.

Dr. Evyatar Hubara, 43, a senior doctor on the unit, moves from bed to bed. He slept three hours the night before due to the number of cases.

"The three children from Gaza suffer from complicated heart defects," Hubara explains. "They came to us in serious condition, among other reasons because it took time from when the problem was diagnosed in Gaza until their transfer to us could be coordinated, all the permits received, and that's without changing ambulances at Erez and the bumpy journey. Right now, all three are in an acute stage. We still haven't gotten to the rehabilitation state, which will begin here and continue in Gaza," he says.

Hubara stops by Abdullah's bed and looks at him warmly. "Abdullah was born prematurely and was incorrectly diagnosed in Gaza. The doctors … performed the wrong operation on him when he was two months old. A week after the operation, he began to decline, and a week after that he reached us. In the first few hours we needed to stabilize him and keep his blood pressure steady with medication.

"We started to look into the problem. We did an MRI and other tests. Before every stage, we explained to his mother what we were going to do. She trusted us from the beginning. After we stabilized him, we found that the true defect he was suffering from was an aortic valve stenosis. It turned out that in Gaza they had tried to close the ductus, but closed one of the main arteries by mistake.

"In the insane Israeli reality, we had to protect ourselves against rockets from Gaza along with the babies who come from here," he says.

"I remember one siren that caught me on the unit, before we moved to the parking structure. All the mothers, Jewish and Arab, just grabbed their babies – the ones that weren't hooked up to machines – and ran to a safe space. I shouted, 'We have time, 90 seconds, go slowly so you won't fall with the kids.' Everyone gathered around in the safe space. Staff members and patients, Jews and Arabs together. The shocking sight of the mothers who ran there with their babies doesn't leave me," Hubara recalls. Not all the mothers were able to take their babies to a safe space. Abdullah, Rana, and Yazen, as well as another 12 Israeli babies, are on respiratory equipment, and they were unprotected during the first rocket alerts. This is why the hospital administration decided to move the entire department from the sixth floor to the underground parking garage. Here, the sirens can't even be heard.

We go with Lama, Raida, and Samira into the staff room, located at the exit. The room has a big refrigerator full of popsicles donated to the children and the staff who care for them. Every few minutes, a parent or a staff member comes in and takes one.

About a year ago, when the COVID pandemic was still raging in Israel, a COVID unit opened in this same parking structure to ease the mass of patients that was overwhelming the hospitals. That event seems like ancient history, and the only thing that remains of it are the letters of thanks stuck to the door. It seems as if this is the last place in the country where people are careful to wear masks, and wear them properly.

The three Gaza women are embarrassed. They aren't used to being interviewed. All three are wearing abayas, long dresses that include head coverings, as well as hijabs and surgical masks. Since they arrived in Israel, they have been sleeping here, on the unit, in the recliner chairs next to their children's beds. They are also given meals. Once every few days, they allow themselves to go upstairs and shower. None of them speaks any language other than Arabic, with the exception of a few words of Hebrew or English. Moshe Ravid, 26, a nursing student from Jaffa and a volunteer with the Shevet Achim organization, translates.

Raida (Umm Ahmad), 48, is from Khan Younis. She is Rana's grandmother, a housewife and mother of six.

"My daughter-in-law, Rana's mother, came to Israel with her in February, two weeks after she was born," she says. "After two weeks, she was tired and not feeling well. Because she has a four-year-old at home, she called me and asked me to switch with her. She went back to Gaza, and since then, I've been here. Three months already. This is my first time in Israel."

Q: Were you afraid?

"No, why should I be afraid? My husband worked in Bat Yam for 20 years. Every day, he went from Gaza to Bat Yam, until the disengagement in 2005. After that, he found work in Gaza. He told me that there are good people in Israel, that everyone here is all right."

Abdullah's mother Lama, 36, is wearing a brown abaya accessorized with a shining silver star. Her smartphone has a pink cover. She works in a laboratory, and her husband is a producer for Palestinian television in Gaza. She has two other sons, 11 and six, at home, as well as a three-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

"My mother had cancer. She went to Israel to be treated, and recovered," Lama says. "She told me that everything is good here. When Abdullah's condition got worse, the doctor recommended that we come to Israel. My husband reached out to Shevet Achim. Now he and my mother are watching the three other kids at home."

Q: What do you tell your families about what is happening here?

Lama: "They're afraid for us, and we're afraid for them. When they call to hear how we are, I answer, 'Al Hamdullah,' so they won't be scared and worry, and when I call to ask how they are, they say the same thing. We talk about the boy, how he ate, how much he ate, how much he slept. "I tell them that the doctors here are good, that they treat us well, answer all our questions. I tell them that the food is excellent, that the women have nice clothes, about their hairstyles. I like the fashion in Israel, and the grilled chicken breast and salad they serve at the hospital."

Raida: "The medical staff thinks only about the children – whether their condition has improved, what they ate, how they slept. We sit next to their beds, don't know how they'll be from one moment to the next, whether they'll get better at all."

Q: Do they send you pictures of the strikes on Gaza?

"They send me pictures of the special Ramadan sweets," Raida answers, with a smile.

Samira, 62, is the grandmother of Yazen, who is only a month old. "I have nine grown children, and my son has four children other than Yazen. Their mother needs to take care of them, so they asked me to accompany the child. At home, when we talk about Israel, we only talk about the medical treatment we want to get here."

Moshe, the translator, tells them in Arabic not to be frightened, that they can speak freely. They all answer at once: "We aren't afraid, we're speaking honestly. Everyone wants peace. We want it to be all right."

Samira: "Inshallah, things will calm down. We aren't dealing with politics."

Q: What did you do when people in Gaza fired rockets toward this area?

Raida: "What everyone else did. The nurses took us to a safe place. The babies stayed on the unit, hooked up to respirators. I was worried about them, that they were alone, but everyone calmed us down, said that it would all be fine."

Lama: "We tried to talk to the other people in the safe area, without understanding one another. Everyone wants to know how the other's child is doing. He's sorry about my son, and I'm sorry about his."

Q: Did your families leave their homes because of the airstrikes?

Raida: "No. Everyone is in his own home."

Q: Are any of your family members involved in the fighting?

All three shake their heads, no. "Not everyone in Gaza enlists in the army," Raida says. "My husband worked in Israel. Half of Gaza used to work in Israel. You must have seen the workers who would come from Gaza."

Samira: "My father and my husband used to work in Israel."

Q: When are you going home?

Raida's eyes fill with tears. "Rana's chest is still open from the last surgery. I'm sitting with you and laughing, but my heart is crying. So I'm telling you that my every thought is for the baby. That's our situation."

Lama: "Today, Dr. Evytar said that Abdullah has an infection in his right lung, which was good. Until now he had one in his left lung. I hope it works out. I'll go back to Gaza when he gets better, but I don't know when."

Hospital Director Dr. Itai Pessach says that every year, the center treats about 500 children from Gaza and another 2,700 children from the Palestinian Authority. "They range in age from a week to 18. Some of the children arrive through the Shevet Achim organization, and others through our own coordinator."

"During the last military operation, our doctor colleagues in Gaza reached out to us about children in serious condition, and we fought to bring them to Israel during the operation. Unfortunately, we didn't succeed, and that's very sad. I'm happy we're getting back to normal," Pessach says.

According to Pessach, "we don't see any difference between a child who comes from Gaza, Nablus, or Tiberias. Our treatment looks at all the child's needs, including emotional needs and school work at the school that operates on the hospital grounds. A year ago, a nine-year-old boy with cancer arrived from Gaza who didn't know how to read and write. He returned to Gaza last month, after a year-long hospitalization, healthy and knowing how to read and write in Hebrew, Arabic, and even English."

Q: How did the patients respond to this during the Gaza fighting?

"A family from Gaza arrived two days before the operation started, and we diagnosed their son with a rare disease, one that only seven children in Israel have. By chance, two rooms away there was a Haredi family with a child who had been diagnosed with the same disease two months ago. While the rockets were falling, the Haredi mother insisted on meeting the mother from Gaza and teaching her everything she knew about the disease and how to treat it."

"There is a truly shared fate here. They feel that they're fighting against something bigger than rockets. To get better, a patient needs to feel secure, and that's what we're doing. A hospital is a home for all the patients.

"I'm happy to say that the external tensions didn't creep into the work. There was no tension between the staff and the patients. The good of the patient always comes before everything else. Even at administration meetings – everyone put aside their own political views and we managed to provide a quality medical response and protect the safety of the staff and patients," Pessach says.

The funding for the Gaza children's treatment comes mainly from donors – mostly American Christians, and some Israelis.

"Saving the life of the child is an entire world," says Jonathan Miles, founder of Shevet Achim. Miles arrive in Israel from the US in the 1990s, as a journalist, and started to volunteer with the group Christian Friends of Israel.

"We welcomed Russian immigrants to Israel. We wanted them to understand that the Jewish people have friends in the world. One day a mother from Ukraine whose child's life was in danger came to me. She had no money for medical treatment, and she begged me to help. I started raising money to help him. Wizo helped a lot, as did other people, both Jews and Christians.

"After that, I heard about sick babies in Gaza, and in 1994 I founded the organization. We bring children from Muslim states to Israel for treatment."

Amar Shami, 32, who coordinates the transfer of children from Gaza to Israel for Shevet Achim, lives in Jerusalem.

"The families who go back to Gaza tell each other about the treatment in Israel," he says. "One mother tells another. When the child has a problem, they reach out to me. Sometimes the doctors reach out directly." Q: What goes through your mind while you're busy providing treatment and rockets are flying outside?

"Inside the hospital, we detach. We only want to help them. When you go out you realize that reality is different. We hope that when the families from Gaza go home, they will sort of be our emissaries, say good things about Israel."

The night that the ceasefire between Israel and Hamas took effect, Rana's heart stopped beating, despite the doctors' best efforts. Her grandmother, Raida, left the hospital weeping. She was driven to a Shevet Achim apartment in Jaffa. When Erez crossing opened, she returned to Gaza with Rana's coffin.

[horlas-world]

Why I think 13th series of Doctor who won't be the last one of Jodie Whittaker:

In case you live in a cave, the main actor of the show has been replaced every 3 seasons since 2005. So next season will be Jodie Whittaker's third and there are naturally a lot of rumors about her leaving. However, there has been no official information yet.

that makes me wonder why? I know Chris Chniball is very attentive to the communication and secrets of the show, maybe it is just that. Or it won't be Whittaker's last season.

The production of the Whittaker era took a long time. There were several breaks and the co-vid didn't help. We are already in 2021 and I think the next season won't be released until the end of 2021 or the beginning of 2022. Now, do you know what's in 2023 ???

the 60th anniversary of Doctor who!!!! it will be a big event and we can be sure that a lot of actors will return: Whittaker, Capaldi, Smith, Tennant, maybe even Eccleston, classic doctors and companions. There will be a lot of people. I doubt Chniball want to add the next doctor (or it will be Whittaker's last and she will regenerate during this episode).

Besides, if the next doctor arrives before 2023, they will have so little time before the 60th episode, it's a very bad way to start. They won't be able to shine and will suffer even more than usual from the comparison.

Wisdom's choice would be to keep Whittaker longer for a season or a few special episodes.

That's my opinion, tell me yours ;)

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries. 

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter One: The One Where it Starts

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1615

Being an adult in general is a wild roller coaster. Whether it be balancing bills, expenses, keeping a proper career, all together it was a stressful period. Going to the bank or answering phone calls was difficult enough. Seriously, what is with people and constantly calling? It’s so much easier to just text. Not to mention it keeps the incredibly anxiety ridden people at bay, and leaves them in a sane state of mind without worrying about anything. 

     That brings us to the protagonist of our story. Lily Briar Osborne. The 33 year old child of Abel and Alicia Osborne. She was the sister to two younger siblings, Rose and Cedar. Can you sense a theme with the children's names? Even Lily herself seemed to carry on that legacy with her own son. While balancing her busy work and just life in general, Lily mothered a young boy named Hunter. Hunter Osborne-Harvey. The eleven year old boy that was the result of a much too early marriage of two young kids who believed this was it, they had found the one. Well, that was not exactly the ending of their fairy tale. It instead involved a mistress, many trips to Grandma and Grandpa's, and a few too many shots in order to handle one another.

     Lily was more-so a quiet girl. Definitely more of the silent type in comparison to the majority of people in her profession. She was a pediatrician, and the only time you really see her talk or even crack a smile, is when she was with the kids. She was always found making sure they felt comfortable. When the young ones were gone, she seemed to shut down. Giving straight and to the point answers. Not elaborating unless asked, and strictly sticking to just the facts.

     Lily and Hunter had found home in a small colonial home in the suburbs of Manhattan, New York. There, they can be found in the company of a German Shepard named Joey, after the beloved sitcom, Friends. You could always find the small family laying in Lily's bed with the comedy illuminating the room around them. Every other Sunday and Saturday before Hunter's father came to pick him up for the weekend, they'd lay in bed before going out for brunch at Lily's best friends cafe further into the city.

     Which is where the story began. a sunny Saturday morning in September.

-----

     "If he doesn't like you, it's a moo point."

     The two Osborne's laughed softly at the comment made by their favourite sitcom character. Lily's fingers gently ran across the arm of her son, creating a soothing rhythm as they watched the sitcom, his head laid comfortably against the pillows. The large dog laid spread down at the edge of the duvet where his breathing radiated gently through the room.

     "Alright why don't you head in to get dressed and we'll go to Aunt Gen's cafe, hm? Sound like a plan kiddo?'' Lily's feather light voice cooed as her hazel eyes moved to glance over at her son.

     "But I wanna stay home all day and watch friends." Hunter whined as he nuzzled further into his mom's bed.

     "No love, I'm sure your dad has lots of things planned for the weekend. And we can watch more episodes when you're back tomorrow, okay? I promise." Lily sighed while lifting her pointer finger to her son.

     The pointer finger promise was Lily and Hunter’s signature thing. Instead of making a pinky promise, which was the weakest finger, they used one of the strongest. to make the strongest promises. That is exactly what they would do. And they'd know that if they broke it, trust would be something that had to be earned back. And luckily for Lily, she trusted her son with her whole being. He told her everything, as far as she knew. Seeing as she wasn't in his head, who knew? Though he was very vocal about his distaste for visiting his father, and it did hurt Lily to hear the pain he felt. The separation agreement allowed Scott Harvey, Hunter's father, to have the young boy every other weekend.

     Lily was lucky enough to have primary custody. Mostly because Scott was never a fully invested father before the divorce, so the court had no issue granting Lily the majority of the custody. But of course, Scott could come by whenever to see Hunter, as well as if he had something planned, he could pick up his son. But...Hunter wasn't the biggest fan of his father.

     Neither was Lily.

     Lily and Scott got divorced a few years ago when Hunter was a ripe 7 years old, and now he was 11, and still lacked the father figure he longed for. In those 7 years, Scott never really put an effort in. and hunter was a smart kid, and already harbored a distaste for the distant nature of his father. and it annoyed him, and Lily, that all of the sudden, after the divorce, Scott wished to be the great father he never was before. Despite his many attempts, it never worked out well for him.

     "Promise." Hunter smiled gently and wrapped his pointer finger around Lily's, before sliding out from underneath the white duvet that covered the two of them, startling the dog that laid at the end of the bed.

     As Hunter left the room, a small sigh escaped the blonde doctor's lips. She hated these days, when Hunter had to go visit his father. But she knew it was important for a child's psyche to have at least a relationship with their father. Picking herself up as well, Lily heaved herself into her closet. She picked out a white spring dress with blue baby's breath designs splayed across the entire piece of clothing. It was a tank top strap, and it was the end of summer and a small breeze danced through her window. She slid a blue jean jacket over her arms before stepping into her bathroom to complete her basic routine.

     After she pulled her hair into a pony, lily stepped out of her room after calling Joey out and down the wooden stairs to the main floor, where Hunter sat at the front door with his backpack and Converse on. Lily couldn't help but smile gently at her punctual son and felt proud of how she had raised him. And how he had grown to be a self-sufficient boy who was also able to ask for help when need be.

     "You gonna get the pancakes again today kiddo?" Lily wondered while stepping into her ballet flats and ruffling  the fur on Joey's back before opening the white door for her son.

     "Aunt Gen keeps putting secret blueberries in them and acting as though they're chocolate chips. I don't trust her anymore."

-----

     Lily and Hunter stepped out of the silver 2019 Honda passport, the two Osborne's took a deep breath of the muggy New York air. Hunter stood by Lily's side as she paid for the parking spot they were lucky enough to grab in the busy streets. She slid her arm around the boy's shoulders, before leading the two towards the fairly busy cafe her best friend owned.

     Genevive Fairchild. Lily's best friend for close to 20 years now. The two had met during their highschool orientation back in 2005. Gen was the extroverted hippy with conservative parents who disagreed with their child's decisions and mannerisms. She was always wearing what was to become her signature dreadlocks with golden decals littering her hair. Baggy shirts with fishnet cardigans and ripped jeans, the necessities to embody Gen. She entered the school loud and unbothered by others opinions or thoughts on how she acted or what she wore. But somehow, she was taken with the quiet blonde who kept her opinions to herself, hands tucked behind her back.

     Lily hadn't changed much in these twenty years, much to her parents dismay. Her parents were elated when their timid daughter brought home the boisterous and carefree Genevieve. Lily's parents were the same as Gen, unbothered and one with the Earth, no real care about people's opinions. Her father was a botanist and her mother a conversationalist. Plants and crystals littered the eco friendly home of Lily's childhood in the rural area of Long Island, New York. To see their studious, goody-good, daughter who wore knee length dresses everyday and cardigans, to bring home such a carefree spirit, was a breath of long needed fresh air for them.

     Ever since then, the two were inseparable. Lily even made her the godmother of Hunter. They both had keys to each others places, and nothing ever seemed to get in between the two of them. Other than those many years Scott wreaked havoc on their friendship. He kept Lily under some sort of spell, no matter how many times Gen attempted to convince her of the terrible manner of their relationship. Eventually, Gen gave up on the fight. until the young chocolate skin girl caught her best friend's husband getting it on with some girl at a party Gen was invited to.

     And that was the end of that marriage. Gen stayed with lily almost every night while everything was happening. And when her or Scott couldn't get Hunter up to Lily's parents, Gen would take him. Make sure he wasn't too focused on the broken state of his mother.

     As the two pushed open the door to the cafe, they were greeted with the fresh smell of coffee and pastries. That is, before they were practically being tackled by the woman earlier mentioned.

     "You two will NOT believe who is here right now."