#this honestly had me in tears
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Because Chapter 261 broke me
„I’m really not more than a war machine, am I?”
Your eyes dart towards the white-haired man sitting next to you immediately, a feeling of deep grief getting a hold of your heart.
“Why would you even think something like that, Satoru? You’re so much more than that. You’re funny, you’re kind, you’re-“
“The strongest. That’s all I’ll ever be in this world”, he interrupts you with low voice, his gaze hanging onto the barely lit skyscrapers around both of you.
Out of instinct, you grab his hand, force him to look at you.
“You’re Satoru, even without the Gojo. I know this world has treated you rough since the day you’ve been born, I know the only person who ever saw more in you than the blessed one was Suguru. But…I’m here too, okay? And in my world, you’ll always be Satoru with the cheekiest grin and the driest humor on this earth. You’ll always be the one I’m looking up to, the one who cares about others before even thinking about himself. You’ll always be the only hope I have left in this shitty world, the prove that kindness actually exist. I love you. Not for the fact that you are Gojo, but for being here as Satoru.”
“(y/n).”
Your name is nothing but a fade away whisper, a silent prayer on top of this building with the busy streets to your feet. Only you and the man who had to suffer more than anyone else, who was forced to watch countless friends die, who carries the responsibility for this world on his broad shoulders.
“I will always choose you, Satoru. No matter how rough it gets, no matter what it does to me. I will always stay by your side.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, (y/n). You’ll never know if someday, I will be used against you as well”, he mumbles while digging his head into your neck, taking in your calming scent.
“If that’s the case I will do everything I can to get you back”, you reply without hesitation.
“It’s not that easy, love. The world of jujutsu has never been this easy. When this day comes, you’ll have to kill me.”
Instantly, you grab his face, take in the stinging sight of his glossy blue eyes. Those oh so gorgeous eyes that make his life so difficult, the eyes you’d recognize out of a thousand pairs. Why would those eyes ever want to hurt you?
-a few years later-
“Satoru?”, you croak out.
You feel like collapsing any given minute. Out of joy, grief, agony? You can’t put a finger on it. Because it shouldn’t be possible for the love of your life to stand in front of you. Because he died a painful death. Because not even Gojo Satoru is able to survive everything.
But those bright blue eyes…They look exactly like the ones you loved so much, the eyes that supported you through day and night. But at the same time, they don’t look like his at all. No, something is off, this isn’t right.
“Satoru is gone”, his familiar voice speaks out without any emotion.
“I’ll take over from now on.”
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo hurt#gojo is back#jjk spoilers#jjk drabbles#jjk fanfic#jjk angst#jjk fic#gojo jjk#gojo x you#satoru#jujustu kaisen#my man deserved so much better#this honestly had me in tears#i hate you gege#gege when i catch you gege
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I just saw one of your fave games is What remains of Edith Finch and I’m so happy! I feel like its a lesser known game but i loved playing through it. I’m so happy to know more than just my small friend group know about this game!
Sorry this isn’t a question. Also want to say that you’re art is amazing and the development of the designs is so interesting to see. Also the way you draw intimate scenes have so much emotion to them. I love the Aj and rarity kissing comic so much, you can just feel their love for each other ;w;
Thank you so much!
I highly, highly, highly recommend What Remains of Edith Finch to anyone interested in narrative game experiences/"walking simulators." It's one of those games that was handcrafted with nothing but love. Every room you explore is just... real. The way the light flows in and makes the colors of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms glow. Playing the game is like walking through your childhood home as an adult and seeing how the dust clings to everything you once touched. Also genius-level gameplay mechanics, ones that can make you completely empathetic with the character you're embodying or feel completely complacent in their tragedy. It's really not fair to call it a walking simulator because it's so much more and so much smarter than that.Everyone talks about the fish one.
The theme of death and memory and storytelling and the burden of invisible trauma and self-fulfilling prophecies is so affecting too. The ending made me cry.
#detective-marshmallow#ask me#using this ask to seriously plug edith finch#and to talk about spoilers here#major major major spoilers#because i still think about walter. who saw something so awful and traumatic as a kid that he spend the next 40 years living right under hi#family. and everyone forgot about him#i think about the house. literally aching and creaking with the family's history of strange deaths#i think about sam. who had to grow up in an empty bedroom he once shared with his twin brother. and stare at the partitioned-off side#every single day#i think about edith. who knows she will have a child and knows she will die and continue the family curse but decides to live anyways#god edith didn't even make it to adulthood.#this game tears me up from the inside yet it's so full of love and fantasy and hope#it was honestly really helpful for my death anxiety.#don't fear death. one day you'll go. people will mourn. and then they'll tell stories about you.
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good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3
good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.
#doll spider did nothing wrong ever#i will defend her every action in a court of law#‘she tore edwin apart millions upon millions of times in hell’ wouldn’t you?#some gay nerd shows up in your house saying shit like ‘oh my how filthy this establishment reflects very poorly on the host’#he’s sashaying and sauntering down your halls and pivoting and you’re like ‘hang on i’m supposed to be the cuntiest bitch here’#so yeah you tear him apart like WHATEVER this shit happens#but he keeps getting reborn and like it’s fine when he’s quiet but every time he makes a noise you just HAVE to kill him again#i bet she was so happy when he escaped and SO MAD when he came back#and then the whole payneland in hell scene she was so real#she interrupted whatever gay shit charles was gonna say to edwin after ‘mate i’ve-’ bc she knew it would be disgusting & didnt wanna hear it#and then they HAD to just KEEP BEING GAY ON THE STAIRS LIKE OF COURSE SHE CHASED THEM OUT?? THAT ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE LINE WAS UNACCEPTABLE#SHE WAS LIKE GET THESE F*GS OUT OF MY HOUSE#she did what she had to do to set boundaries and honestly is that so bad?#thank you doll spider for protecting us from more devastatingly romantic charles rowland lines <3#dbdshow#girlbossifying doll spider is so funny to me idc if no one sees this. this is for me. and for her <3#payneland#edwin payne#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#yeet my deet#yeet my deebd#dbd4ratch#revive dead boy detectives#chedwin#the case of the very long stairway#dead boy detectives#dbda#dead boy detective agency
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Ner Aliit
Din Djarin x GN!Reader
Summary: Travelling through the galaxy in the Razor Crest with a formidable Mandalorian is a harsh, unforgiving life. The feelings you have developed for him as you soar through the stars together have mitigated the unpleasant aspects. Still, you know it can't last. After all, you and Din are from different worlds. He follows a strict Creed and you know that you do not have what it takes to be Mandalorian.
Journeying with the best bounty hunter in the parsec has often brought you face to face with danger. It has never fazed you before. Until one day you come face to face with danger without Din's reassuring presence at your side, and everything changes.
Word Count: 5.4k ✯ Rating: Teen ✯ Content Warnings: Canon typical violence, reader kills someone with a blaster in self defence (Nothing is described in graphic detail) and subsequently deals with anxiety/panic attacks. ✯ Author's Note: Today is four years since I watched Mando for the first time so I wrote this to celebrate! Inspired by a little daydream I had while looking at my own Mythosaur necklace. It's an AU where Din never had Grogu but still had shiny beskar, allow it ahah. Really hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading! 🤍
✯ My Masterlist ✯ Read on AO3 ✯
You can already tell from how Din’s footsteps thud a little heavier than usual against the ramp that something has angered him during his latest hunt. Perhaps he will share what precisely has troubled him later when you hurtle through hyperspace towards Nevarro. For now, you head towards the door, ready to help Din haul his latest bounty into the antiquated ship you call home.
Except, the man who stands before you is not Din Djarin.
Instead of the gleaming beskar you had been expecting to greet you on the ramp, a gloomy silhouette moves into view. There is something far darker about your presence than the man you had expected to see. It is not just the grimy, worn clothes he wears that send a shiver down your spine. Nor the way his beady eyes bore into you. They are sunken in his wizened face with a look of pure malice which sickens you to the pit of your stomach.
You are initially so shocked by the fact that the man standing before you is not Din, your eyes frantically examining the features of this stranger, that you almost fail to notice the weapon aimed at you.
Your heart skips a beat when you notice that the man is holding a blaster up at you. He stands unmoving, with his long, grungy fingers curled around the dark handle. The gesture sends a shiver down your spine. However, there is something even more terrifying than the reality of having a blaster aimed squarely in your direction.
It is the expression on his face.
His glare is unrelenting in his coldness as his finger hovers over the trigger. You do not doubt for one moment that he will pull it.
Throughout your life, you have been exposed to danger many times, even before you met Din. Such brushes with death only increased when you started travelling through the galaxy with a bounty hunter. It was to be expected, of course. You think of the numerous occasions when you witnessed Din becoming embroiled in terrible binds and scrapes while you sat back and watched the carnage unfold. At first, you had been terrified by such violence. Now, you have come to expect it.
Perhaps before you met Din and began travelling with him, someone holding a blaster at you and gazing at you with such viciousness as the man before you would have been utterly petrifying.
However, it seems that the best bounty hunter in the parsec has somewhat hardened you to the realities of the galaxy.
After the initial shock, you feel yourself accepting your current predicament with remarkable quickness. You assess the man's vulnerabilities and weak points, as Din once trained you to do. You notice a slight quake in his hand, the greyness of his scraggly beard and unkempt, greasy hair. He is not invincible. Soon, the terror you initially felt is replaced with anger; a simmering feeling in your gut as you are incredulous at the audacity of this man to threaten your life in this manner. You are furious at his attempt to intrude into your and Din's safe refuge like this. You are disgusted by him.
You have encountered plenty of unsavoury characters throughout your travels across the galaxy with Din. This pathetic coward does not faze you.
"Where is he?" the man finally speaks. His voice is gruff, his tone sharper than you imagined. It matches his wizened, wrinkly face, seemingly hardened by the decades of experience he undoubtedly possesses.
“Who?” you ask, feigning ignorance.
You know that the man will not buy your plea of ignorance regarding The Mandalorian. Yet, your act will buy you a few precious seconds to execute your plan. Plus, the more you converse with the man, the higher the chance his nerve may waver and that his sympathy for you might increase as you humanise yourself. You hope that by talking to him, his determination to mow you down in cold blood may decrease.
“Don’t play with me and give me a story full of bantha crap,” the man snarls, jabbing the blaster towards you, "I know you know where he is."
“I’m sorry,” you respond apologetically.
You know you must diffuse the situation and undo the damage you have caused with your blatant lies. Without hesitation, you raise your hands in a submissive gesture. Then, when the man does not take issue with a simple movement, you begin backing away from him. Fortunately, he lets you go. You can barely contain your grin as you know what you have in store for him.
Unknowingly, this man is playing right into your hands.
This old rogue may have thought he could get the upper hand on The Mandalorian by returning to his ship and threatening his travelling companion. Unfortunately, he has underestimated the advantage you gain from knowing the Razor Crest inside out, including all of this old ship's quirks.
When you are satisfied both by the distance you have placed between you and your assailant and your relative proximity to the control panel, which is the key to your plan's success, you fake a stumble backwards. Your hand collides with the button that, when depressed, rapidly releases a cloud of pressurised gas into the hull. The jets that shoot out of the walls soon fill the Razor Crest and form a temporary barrier between you and the man that obscures you from his view. The distraction gives you just enough time to grab a blaster from Din’s workbench and aim it towards your surprise visitor.
Then, without really consciously thinking about the consequences, you squeeze the trigger.
The sickening thud of the man’s body hitting the floor is the last sound you hear before you retreat up the ladder to the cockpit and seal yourself inside behind the secure door. You are pretty sure he will no longer prove a threat to you, but you have no desire to stick around and find out for definite. The reinforced door will provide sufficient protection, hopefully long enough for Din to return.
Given that someone managed to reach the Razor Crest and callously threaten your life, you cannot imagine that Din will be far away. If the man has accomplices, you do not doubt Din's capability to take them out before he returns to ensure your safety.
Yet, as the minutes pass by Din is nowhere to be seen.
You are unsure how long you sit on the hard floor with your back to the door, trembling as you sit there. At first, the tremors that have overtaken your body may well be thanks to the frigid metal. Its coolness certainly does not help. As the adrenaline wears off and the realisation of what has just transpired dawns on you, you rapidly become reduced to a jittery, trembling wreck.
Your state of mind following the skirmish is made worse by the paranoia which overtakes you.
Initially your primary concern is for your own safety. You brace yourself for the companions of the man whose body lies below you to barge in and finish the job their ringleader started. You wonder which weapons they may possess.
Would you try to fight them off, or should you flee?
You wonder whether you could even begin the launch sequence of the Razor Crest and fly away in search of Din. He has attempted to teach you how to fly the ship for emergencies such as this, but to your presently terrified brain, the dashboard looks like a confusing conundrum of buttons.
At the first thought of him wandering through the forests which cover the planet’s surface, your overactive imagination now runs away with the worst scenarios of what could be happening right this instant, elsewhere on this planet.
Visions of the Mandalorian you love, lying in a ditch somewhere on this forest-covered planet, injured and frightened after being ambushed by the same band of dastardly scoundrels overwhelm your senses.
The fear that Din will never return to you, that the depth of your feelings towards him will remain unsaid forever, shatters you.
You are unsure how long you sit there. Each creak and noise of the ship, noises that you are usually so familiar with and accustomed to now work against you, startling you each time. It is a constant cycle of alarm as your breathing rate picks up and your pulse rate thunders in your ears each time there is a faint thud. You feel your resolve draining with each disturbance.
So when you hear the sound of the Razor Crest's ramp whirring as it lowers to the ground, you barely have the energy to react. Instead, you are relieved that you are now seconds away from meeting your ultimate fate. One way or another, you will finally be put out of your misery. Whoever enters the Razor Crest will not be met with much fight from you, whatever their intentions.
When you hear footsteps this time, you believe that the thuds are indeed the familiar rhythmic, certain sounds of your favourite bounty hunter. Until you lay eyes upon him, however, you will not allow yourself to believe that fact.
Fortunately for your anguished soul, you get confirmation of Din’s return before ever laying eyes upon him.
“Cyare?” Din calls, his deep voice cuts through the ship up to the cockpit where you continue to cower in the cockpit, “Are you alright?”
You are so relieved to hear him that you could almost burst into tears. Before that happens, you must give him some acknowledgement that you were unharmed in the skirmish.
“I’m up here in the cockpit, Din,” you respond, alarmed at how your voice trembles as the adrenaline has worn off, “I’m alright.”
You push yourself up on shaky limbs to stand and prepare to reunite with the man you have grown so close to. You aren't entirely sure when it happened, falling in love with Din. You certainly never intended it, nor did you imagine that the aloof bounty hunter who was so stoic and barely spoke could reveal himself to have such a beautiful soul beneath his cold, metallic armour. Yet, somewhere along the way, as you hurtled through hyperspace together, you did fall in love with Din.
It was not one moment but rather a collection of smaller fragments which, when pieced together, form the warmth that spreads in your chest each time you think of Din. It has been the late-night conversations sitting in the red leather chairs of the cockpit, reminiscing on your past lives. The ability that Din possesses in never failing to make you laugh. Even on days when you feel despondent. It is how considerate Din is of you; he never fails to check on your well-being and ascertain whether you can handle one more job or whether you should return to Nevarro for a few days of rest.
All of those moments and more contributed to your present feelings for Din.
You realised how deeply you cared for him when you first noticed your overwhelming desire to please him. The fact that, without even realising it, you had learnt how he liked his ration packs prepared even if you could never enjoy a meal together, given the helmet restriction. You realised that you had attentively watched how Din polished his weapons and studied how he stored them so that you could alleviate some stress when he returned from another hunt and needed to rest. You have noticed that, even though your lives are in many ways different, you both retain the same core values and principles. Honesty, integrity and loyalty are traits you both hold dear.
Only moments ago, it had crushed you to think you would never get to enjoy such moments with Din again.
Now, you stand here, practically bursting with joy as you realise you will soon be back with the man whose presence you yearn to always be in. You can hear his feet hitting the rungs of the ladder that leads up to the cockpit and take a deep breath to steady yourself, even though your entire body quivers with the last dregs of adrenaline and the anticipation of seeing Din again.
The door opens. The familiar glint of the Beskar you had been expecting to see earlier finally comes into view, soothing your nerves instantly. Din surges towards you. You barely have time to react before his arms are around you. He brings a gloved hand up to your chin, holding your face in one hand while he secures his other arm snugly around your waist. You are grateful that he is holding you so tightly. Without his strong arms, you are unconvinced whether you could remain vertical.
“Oh, cyare," Din exhales, his voice trembling under the weight of his emotions. "I was so worried when I saw the body down there. What in Maker’s name happened here?” Din asks, deep voice full of concern.
“I heard footsteps that I assumed were yours, but when I got there, the door opened. You weren't there, Din. I was so scared," you confess, your voice trembling too.
"Dank farrik!" Din harshly exclaims. You startle in response, and he tightens his hold around you, bringing your chest flush to the cold metal of his armour, before apologetically adding, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay, Din," you whisper in reassurance.
"Forgive me for my outburst. I was just frustrated that I couldn't be there for you. The same group, I assume, ambushed me. It took me a while to fight them off. I should have been here," Din shakes his head, "Anyway, do you want to tell me about what happened?"
You nod, your bottom lip trembling. You take some breaths to steady your nerves as you try your best to ignore your reflection in Din's helmet. If you pause for too long and perceive how fragile and broken you appear, you know you will crumble entirely.
"Well, I stepped up to the top of the ramp expecting to see you. Instead, that man was standing there. He held a blaster up at me. I was so scared that he was going to shoot," you squeak, voice barely above a whisper now. Din moves his hands up and down your back in soothing motions, comforting you enough to continue: "I managed to distract him enough to retreat with my hands up. Then I pretended to stumble and push the button on the control panel, which discharged the pressurised gas. It gave me the cover to grab your blaster on the workbench. And then, well, you saw...” you squeak out as you feel hot tears trail down your cheeks.
You permit yourself to fall apart now, knowing that Din is here to pick your pieces up and place you back together. He brings a hand to your cheek, wiping your tears away with his gloved fingers. A smile ghosts across your lips at the sensation of the buttery texture against your skin.
“You did so well, cyare,” Din whispers. "I promise you, you're safe now. No one will hurt you," he adds soothingly.
Din brings your head into his cowl. He gathers you to him and protects you from the anguish. From this position, you can faintly feel the warmth which emanates from the man beneath the beskar through the coarse yet soft material. The dark brown material is a sharp contrast to the hard, coldness of his armour, a sliver of humanity amongst the many facets of the formidable Mandalorian warrior. You never feel safer or more protected than when Din takes you into his arms and holds you close. The relief is immediate, but it does not stop the emotional outburst. Tears continue to stream down your face.
“I was so scared Din,” you manage out between the sobs that have suddenly overwhelmed your fragile state of mind.
“I know, I know. But I’m so proud of you,” Din says.
His ordinarily steady voice trembles with emotion except when he emphasises how proud he is of you. To know that Din Djarin himself is proud of you makes your chest ache with joy. You have made this strong, stoic warrior proud. It makes your head swim with glee. Yet, it only adds to the myriad of emotions which overwhelm your trembling body.
Din holds you close, but you cannot stop crying. The embarrassment you feel at your outburst further contributes to your distress. The tears flow in earnest now, Din’s cowl surely becoming damp with the moisture that has escaped your swollen, irritated eyes.
“Shhhhh my love, ner kar'ta,” Din soothes as he rocks you, “You’re safe now. I've got you. You’re safe.”
With his comforting words and the way Din holds you, your sniffles eventually subside. Still, Din holds you until you can barely stand anymore.
When you can stand no longer, when your body finally succumbs to the emotional toll of the day, Din is there to coax you into moving. Somehow,
Din manages to skillfully manoeuvre you into descending the ladder. You are too tired to question quite how it happens. The next thing you know, you are tucked up in the bunk. There is barely enough room for Din, yet he manages to lie beside you, holding you until you drift off.
Finally, you allow yourself to fall into the warm embrace of sleep…
✯✯✯
You remain confined to your bunk for most of the return trip to Nevarro. The skirmish took its toll on you. In your lethargicness, you struggle to have the energy to do anything other than sleep. Din is patient and attentive with you, taking care of all the maintenance jobs and meal preparation that you usually assist with.
Yet, it is not just the stress of events and the inescapable fact that you have claimed your first life which weighs on your mind. It is trying to figure out what the future looks like for you and Din.
You have never met anyone like him. He is intelligent, caring and skilled in anything he turns his hand to. He provides for you. Since you began travelling together, you have wanted for nothing physically or spiritually. Din is diligent and attentive, always on hand to pick you up if things prove too much. He makes you laugh like you never have with anyone else you have met. Until your ribs ache and your cheeks hurt from grinning. You think of the hours spent together sitting in the red chairs of the cockpit as the blues and silvers of hyperspace streak outside the windows, illuminating Din's armour in a way that leaves you mesmerised.
When you first started travelling with Din, you were sceptical that you would ever grow close to a man who kept so much of himself a mystery. His face was hidden behind a helmet and you knew him only as Mando. How could you ever form a bond with someone so elusive?
Now, you understand that you do not need to see a person's face to know them entirely. There is no doubt that you completely understand who the man underneath the beskar is. You trust Din Djarin with everything you have.
Although it took him long enough to honour you with knowing that name, now you speak it often. While he vows that he will know yours eternally, for it is the Mandalorian way to say, “I love you.”
You cannot imagine your life without him.
However, as much as you care for Din and are certain he cares for you in return, you know you will never have what it takes to become Mandalorian. It is why you have held back from your feelings, never permitting yourself to return the sweet words and affectionate nicknames. Your destinies lie in opposite directions. You will never be truly worthy of his love.
It is a thought that leaves you thoroughly despondent as you lie in the bunk. If you are this distressed after taking a life in self-defence, how would you ever be able to participate in his culture, his identity, which is so dear to him?
Without that fighting spirit within you, you are sure you would never be able to be Mandalorian. Without being Mandalorian, it will be impossible for Din to build a life with you.
Whatever relationship the two of you have is more than likely fleeting. You will part when it becomes apparent that you are too fundamentally different to prove a compatible pairing. You know that.
Yet, it does not stop the melancholia that such a fact provokes in you.
You understand that one day, Din Djarin will leave your life.
Knowing that evidence of your fundamentally opposing ways of life will become evident once more shortly leaves you inconsolable. Once the Razor Crest lands in Nevarro so the bounties can be offloaded Din will leave you alone for an indeterminate amount of time to be with his covert.
Since you are not Mandalorian, you are forbidden from joining him.
The thought of not being with him devastates you. Yet, the prospect of being alone on a planet without Din downright terrifies you after your brush with death.
Although you are frightened, you are determined not to let him see your discomfort.
After all, it would be unfair of you to hold Din back from spending time with his tribe.
You know you will never be able to join him, yet you still respect Din's creed. You admire his devotion to his Way. You do not judge him for it, even if you are baffled by some rules Din must adhere to.
Yet, there is another reason you keep your emotions to yourself.
You do not want to worry Din any further.
Following your brush with death, Din has been fussing over you so much that you almost feel smothered. He is watching you intently to check that the fact you have taken another’s life does not leave a scar on you. He constantly reassures you that it was self-defence and that you did the right thing. When you wake up screaming after terrible visions haunt you, Din is there in an instant to soothe your anguished soul.
Even though you are grateful for how much he cares, you want to be left alone. You feel guilty, as though you are a burden to him. Here you are, taking up so much of his precious time and energy when you are not even a member of his tribe.
So, when Din informs you he will depart the Razor Crest to join up with his covert after the old ship finally touches down on Nevarro, you are glad to see him go.
Even if being on such a skughole makes you unsettled. You wish that you had Din’s comforting presence around to soothe your soul. But non-Mandalorians are not permitted to enter the covert’s hideout, and you respect that rule.
So, you are alone.
You pass the time polishing and reordering Din's assortment of weapons so they are exactly how he likes him upon his return. It is penance for the tremendous amount of extra effort he exerted in taking care of you during your journey here.
After you finish cleaning Din's most prized possessions, you stand before the weapons locker, adjusting each blaster and rifle until they are arrow straight. Din is fastidious when it comes to organising his armoury. You want to please him.
It is a task that you are still engaged in when you hear the ramp whirring. The noise makes you panic initially. Until, for your benefit, Din calls your name to reassure you that it is him returning; no one is here to harm you.
Your initial anxiety is soothed instantly by the sound of his deep voice. The apprehension is replaced by a smile at the way the syllables of your name warble through his vocoder.
You hastily close the doors to the locker. You weren't quite finished with your task yet. You do not want Din to catch a glimpse before everything is perfect.
"You're back quicker than I expected," you observe, greeting him with a look of surprise across your features.
"There was only one matter I wished to settle," Din shrugs.
"Oh?" you raise your eyebrows, wondering if it is connected to the drawstring pouch made of dark material he carries in one hand.
"Concerning you," Din simply says.
You are rendered speechless. Your initial concern is that Din has confessed to travelling with a non-Mandalorian. Perhaps it is forbidden for his tribe to befriend outsiders. Your stomach drops as you panic that Din has been forced to leave his covert in disgrace.
What if, after the skirmish, Din decided to leave you behind here on Nevarro and simply needed to ask his tribe's leader for advice so his nerves did not waver?
Your frantic train of thought halts at the thuds of Din's footsteps approaching you. Mercifully, it seems you are about to discover the nature of their conversation.
"I have something for you," Din explains as he reaches into the drawstring pouch and produces a shiny object attached to a string.
You are curious about the mysterious relic before you. You do not hesitate to reach your hand out, your palm up, ready to accept it. It glints in mid-air before Din places it into your palm.
The sensation of the cool metal of the mysterious object
proves to be an intriguing yet comforting presence in your hand. It soothes you instantly. It is a grounding sensation you badly need. Especially after the dark places your mind has wandered to. Terrible visions and eventualities your imagination has frequented a lot recently since your brush with death.
You realise now that it is in your hand that Din has brought you a necklace. Peculiar. You wonder what in the galaxy an item of jewellery could have to do with his covert.
The metallic pendant is a shape you do not recognise; there is a long, thin strand of dark brown leather attached to the charm.
“Do you know what this is?” Din finally asks after he has left you alone to survey your gift.
You shake your head, looking up at him questioningly.
“This is the Mythosaur, an ancient creature our ancestors once rode. It is a symbol that belongs to all Mandalorians,” Din explains, gesturing a gloved fingertip at the shiny object.
You see now that the metallic outline appears to be the skull of a creature you have never heard before. With its sunken black eye sockets and intimidating, sharp features; the Mythosaur is a little intimidating. Still, you are mesmerised by its pointy teeth and long tusks. It is quite unlike anything you have ever seen. You run your thumb over the ridges, enjoying the sensation of the metal in your hand.
"I had it forged by my tribe's Armorer from the excess beskar of my new armour," Din explains, "The chain is taken from a strip of my bandolier, too."
"The craftsmanship..." you whisper, awestruck, "It's beautiful."
Then, Din says something which catches you completely off-guard.
“I want you to be part of my Clan, cyare,” Din announces.
Your mouth falls open. You look up at Din, stunned at his declaration. He does not want to leave you behind or cast you out. He wants you to be with him forever. You begin to feel the rumbling of tears somewhere deep inside your gut. You almost allow yourself to smile.
Almost.
Your moment of happiness shatters when you realise joining Din's Clan likely comes with an expectation to be Mandalorian. You hope the necklace does not come with the assumption of committing yourself to something you remain unsure that you want for yourself.
Yet bringing that up to Din would surely disappoint him, a terrible prospect. His Way is of utmost importance to him.
“But, Din… I’m not Mandalorian,” you whisper, your eyes filling with tears as you remind him of your differences.
“It doesn’t matter,” Din shakes his head.
"Are you sure?" you breathe, stunned.
"I'm positive, cyare. You can take this necklace to any Mandalorian and say my name. If you present this to a Mandalorian covert and tell them Din Djarin set you, they will ensure you are protected and safe for as long as you need. No matter where you are in the galaxy.”
“Even though I’m not Mandalorian?” you whisper, astonished.
“Yes. One does not have to walk The Way in order to be protected by us," Din nods.
You are stunned. For so long, you had mistaken Mandalorian covertness for exclusion. You had believed they disliked and distrusted anyone who did not follow their way of life. Now you realise that you had entirely misconstrued their seclusion. Mandalorians, it transpires, are fiercely protective over anyone they care about, an honour not restricted to their own kind.
"After what happened, I want to feel reassured by knowing that you would have somewhere to turn to for refuge if something like that were ever to happen again. More than that, I want you…” Din sighs, steadying himself. “I want you to be part of my Clan,” he adds, his voice full of certainty.
“I couldn't possibly be worthy of such a thing,” you shake your head, unable to meet his gaze, "I shot one nerfherder in self-defence and look at the toll it took on me," you scoff, fiddling with the necklace and avoiding Din's gaze.
Din is unsatisfied with your words. He brings his hand to your chin and tilts it upwards until your eyes are level with the steely gaze of his dark T-visor.
“You are absolutely worthy,” Din adds with finality and certainty in his voice that causes your chest to constrict, “You have shown as much fight and resolve as any Mandalorian warrior would be proud of. You may not be Mandalorian, but you have our spirit. Our manda, our soul. You do not have to be Mandalorian to be loved by one. So, it would be the honour of my life if you would join my Clan, cyare,” Din adds solemnly.
He takes his hand from under your chin and balls it into a fist. Then he raises his clenched fist to his chestplate and holds it over his heart. He bows his head in your direction, wordlessly demonstrating his affection for you.
With his beautiful words and deferent actions, how could you refuse such an offer?
“Then, I will happily join your clan, Din Djarin,” you whisper.
You watch with curiosity as Din takes the necklace from your hand. Then, he softly places a gloved hand on your shoulder and gently turns you around. You realise what he is doing when the pendant slides down over your chest. You smile as you feel the cool metal make contact with your skin through the cloth of the simple clothes you wear. The thin leather is a comforting presence around your neck, especially when combined with the weight of the Mythosaur.
You turn around to face Din once again. You are unable to prevent the grin that spreads across your features. For the first time since that terrifying encounter with that ghastly man, you feel a true sense of tranquillity. You no longer find yourself plagued by fear for the future.
You realise that you should probably make some profound speech of gratitude. Instead, you sigh in contentment as you stand before Din. You are too happy to find words, perfectly content merely to stand before the man you adore. A man whom, thanks to the necklace you wear around your neck, you are now bound to.
Din brings his hands to your sides, resting them against your body as his thumbs rub fond circles into your hips. There is no fear, no uncertainty anymore.
The future for you and Din is bright.
Din eventually sighs fondly, cupping your chin with his gloved hand.
“It suits you,” he nods in approval.
You smile at the gesture and turn your lips into his fingers, placing a kiss on the soft leather there. Then, Din brings your forehead to his helmet in a gesture he has assured you is akin to a kiss in his eyes. For now, at least, it is the only way he can kiss you.
You stay like that for a few moments.
Eventually, Din's deep voice breaks the silence.
“Ner aliit,” Din whispers. Then adds in basic, for the benefit of your ears:
“My family.”
#din djarin fic#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#the mandalorian x reader#mando x reader#mando x you#the mandalorian fanfiction#din djarin fluff#pedro pascal characters#my fics#i had a blast writing this on the whole even if getting it juuuuust right did at times make me want to tear my arms off#and beat myself to death with them#but no like honestly writing is so fun!!!!!!!!!#anyway hope i succeeded and you enjoyed this one!!!!
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Ride 793: The palms of their hands
Pag 1
1: Holding hands with you rival
Pag 2
1: Grasping tightly the gratitude
They're moving forward... to the future!!
Pag 3
1: 1500m left until the mountain line!!
Pag 4
2: You're kidding....
He's coming....?
He's getting closer?
3: So odd, and yet I thought I had left him behind completely
This is “three times”, isn't it?
5: He's coming
And moreover
Pag 5
1: He's doing it while singing!!
Even though Hakogaku's Manami had left him so much behind in a moment...
Mountain King is getting closer!!
He's not giving up!!
The distance is closing!!
That's right ♪ I know ♪ If you do this ♪
Pag 6
1: The princess' wish ♪
2: Will come true ♪
3: Mountain King is amazing!! He's humming a tune!!
I heard of this, Mountain King becomes faster when he hums a tune!!
What, amazing!
The magic singing!!
I'll try singing too next time I'll climb!
4: No
It's not magic
5: For you, that “song”
Pag 7
1: it's a device to activate your power!!
2: Like a car's key
3: To carry people and luggage up a mountain road a vehicle needs both a sturdy body, small parts
4: and a powerful engine
5: For bikes, the “body”
Pag 8
1: Practice, repetition, recovery, determination, challenges- everything
2: piles up!!
3: Only someone who has worked
4: tirelessly, without rest....
Pag 9
1: Could get to this position of the mountain stage on the Inter High's first day!!
2: And he can even keep up with my “three times”!!
4: I see, so that's what it means
You piled everything up during this past year...
Pag 10
1: Ouch
2: Ah, damn, I pressed something weird
Ah....
3: Oh, I have a message
Ah, it's from Sakamichi-kun
Ah... it's from three months ago..
Hehehe, ops
4: What is it, what is it...? “Do you remember? The promise we made on the last day?”
Oh... I remember
“We said 'let's race for the mountain stage on the first day next time'”
Ah.. we did, we did
6: “Are we still on for that?”
8: “Of course”
Pag 11
1: To protect your promise with me!!
Wait, Manami-kun!!
Princess ♪...!!
2: Sakamichi-kun!!
3: Manami-kun!!
Pag 12
1: Mountain King caught up!!
He caught Hakogaku's Manami, who had attacked and opened the gap!!
2: He's not surrendering!!
Neither of them is surrendering!!
1200m left until the mountain line!!
Pag 13
1: Now another race...
2: starts!!
4: They're both taking the curve
5: while colliding against each other!!
Pag 14
1: Aaaaaa
Soooreeee
I won't surrender!!
2: They're still neck and neck!!
3: Amazing!
Pag 15
1: From the inner side!!
2: Sooreeee
Manami fell back for a moment and then forced his way forward!!
They hit each other!!
5: The trees are getting lower again
6: One more time...
Pag 16
1: Let's go, “three times”!!
Pag 17
2: Manami used the wind and accelerated again!!
Incredible, what's that!
3: What about Mountain King!?
Pag 18
1: Musical note shaped wings!?
Pag 19
1: Aaaaaaaa
2: Amazing
3: It's just like you
4: You were so desperate to catch me that you unconsciously used the wind to accelerate
5: Interesting!!
Pag 20
1: Mountain King is clinging to him!! I thought Manami had attacked but
Manami didn't get away!!
He caught up with such a weird acceleration!?
Amazing!
2: Maybe your singing is something more than a key
3: Ahhhh
5: These past three years have been fun
Huh!?
Pag 21
1: I'm glad you were here for the past three years
3: Huh... ah!!
4: Thank you
Pag 22
2: Such a close battle like this, such a once-in-a-lifetime battle like this, it could only have been with you
3: Yeah... yeah!!
“The past three years”....!!
4: No, that, I should be the one saying that, really!!
5: That's right... this is my match against Manami-kun...
Pag 23
1: Let's go until the mountain line
2: Let's give everything we have
3: Let's make the most of every second of the time we have left!!
5: 1km until the end....
Pag 24
1: It's the final climb!!
Pag 25
1: Yeah!!
Pag 26
3: Th-thank god I made it in time...
This... I couldn't miss this today
4: Sangaku said that
5: “It will be the culmination of the past three years”
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#yowamushi pedal manga#ride 793#no im not crying i just have 793 chapter of yowapeda in my eyes ;A;#watanabe please stop reminding me that this manga is gonna end!!! I dont wanna hear it!!#and neither does onoda!! Look at his desperate face when he realizes that that's his last race against manami!!!#excuse meeee ;A; i cant do this#so imma focus on the nice things#like onoda sining that 'the princess' wish comes true' right when he sees manami#bc THATS HIS WISH MANAMI IS HIS WISH AND ITS FINALLY COME TRUE#or how cute Manami is in the flashback page and the way he jumps up to reply to onoda#like the only thing missing there was him adding 'it's a date' to that text#bc thats what it is okay its obvious#honestly i understand why onoda is so scared that this is his last chance with manami#given that he had to wait 3 months for a single text lmao#he's scared he wont hear from manami at all once they wont be able to meet at the ih - and he's right#manami please reply to your phone onoda needs you#im babbling to not focus on the last pages bc theyre making me too emotional and I CANNOT HANDLE THIS#if i think about this manga ending imma melt in a puddle of tears okay#so ill just focus on sansaka being canon for now :')
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Comic inspired by @glitchpunkz fic “MistleTony”
#This fic absolutely had me sobbing and giggling i was losing my mind#AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WRITING WAS JUST SO SWEET I WAS FEELING TEARS#I honestly need to draw comics of fics or stories I read becuase i just appreciate them sm..#BECKORY HAS MY HEART AND IM NOT COMPLAINING#fnaf#tony becker#fnaf ggy#fnaf gregory#beckory
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I wanted to share this dream my close friend had about me. It filled me with a haunting sadness, but a sense of genuine love as well.
#tackytext#My friend has only had dreams about us happy together#or the occasional argument#they never had a dream like this about me or dreams with such themes#decaydog on Insta#I love my friend very very much and they have been so important to me for nearly a decade now#I love them sm#Honestly made me tear up bc the thought of leaving them forever is a lot lol
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AP gang as lyrics (part 1, maybe?)
My Secret Life, Leonard Cohen (2001)
Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day (2004)
Head Over Heels, Tears for Fears (1985)
Getting Older, Billie Eilish (2021)
Smalltown Boy, Bronski Beat (1984)
Nineteen, Movements (2016)
Shiver, Coldplay (2000)
Secret in Me, Ivory Tower (2000)
You’re On Your Own, Kid, Taylor Swift (2022)
Brand New City, Mitski (2012)
Fingertips, Lana Del Rey (2023)
Pawn Shop Blues, Lana Del Rey (2006)
#american psycho#making this was honestly so much fun#let me know if you want a part 2#with individual characters or pairings or whatever#yes i had to make it as#angsty#and gay#as possible hehe#patrick bateman#american psycho memes#amps#patrick bateman x paul allen#paul allen#timothy price#luis carruthers#evelyn williams#courtney lawrence#lana del rey#mitski#taylor swift#leonard cohen#green day#bronski beat#tears for fears#coldplay
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sophia seeing cailan's body hanging there when they go back to ostagar, and suddenly all she can see even through the rot and the ruin is just how much he looked like alistair...... :'(
a mental image that totally will not haunt her through alistair's many years on the throne as rebellions and assassination attemps come and go. doesn't send her unhinged and unwise even a little
#I've never played back to ostagar before actually! getting some more delicious trauma for everyone#and also zev was there (affectionate)#oc: sophia amell#warden x alistair#dragon age#dragon age origins#the vibes are slightly weird in the dialogue in this dlc -- this uh. did not seem to be the relationship alistair and cailan had#such as it even was. but hey I got this angst out of it what more can I ask#I had sophia and alistair smooch on the platform place thingy where you meet him for the first time. I am a sap but I am free#what's that post about the unconquerable human spirit that's like 'despite all the horrors I am still horny' again. basically they're that#alistair is honestly The most pocket healed warrior of all time he's got two spirit healers who love him laser focused on him#at all times#(sophia switches between unleashing horrifying amounts of raw magical power on the enemy and going 'oh nooo let me see I'll fix it')#that boy is Protected. wynne and sophia glaring at you past his shoulders like 'he said no FUCKING pickles ok. last warning'#(actually probably sophia would glare at you from like. the height of his armpit; she's Short lol)#also partially why I had to change my canon b/c if alistair was left in the fade sophia would. she would quite simply end the world#long before solas had the time to. she would tear the veil to shreds to get to him. mind and circle mage restraint irretrievably lost#her greatest fear is becoming unmoored (which in many ways also means losing alistair) and everyone else should be afraid of that too#I do like how this playthrough is shaking out tho it feels like a more grown-up version of the story I told with them originally#more complicated and acknowledging the other forces pulling on them (when I was younger I liked the freedom of them both staying wardens)#but it just makes the 'we're sticking together *no matter what*' all the more satisfying and triumphant for me.#we'll find a way and if there is no way we'll fucking make it together :') and they do
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In no way is this me trying to rush you I’m just curious to know when your next hook fic is coming out? 😁💕
hi there!
I know I've been dead for a while on here, I'm super sorry 😭 I've honestly been so tied down with responsibilities lately that I haven't found the time to have a solid writing session and get words down on the page. this makes me really sad, as I truly do love writing, but even though I ache to write I just can't seem to get in the flow recently (seriously why do I have to do stuff and be responsible, why can't I just spend all my time in my room writing my silly little fanfics I swear)
I really am trying my very best to get back into writing more regularly, so I'm super sorry if it takes me a while to post new content 😭 to answer your question, I don't think I really have an exact time frame as of right now. I definitely have loads of ideas for my next fics, especially for hook, but my problem is actually getting those ideas written instead of just having them all in my head
I know this whole thing seemed like one big apology, but truly, I am sorry for my lack of activity recently. I'm trying to write again, but it's been difficult to manage everything lately, so please bear with me. I will let you guys know when I plan to post something, once the time comes! 🫶
love you all so so soo much,
lilac <33
#lilac’s rants#update!!#I’m still alive guys dw#you’re not getting rid of me that easily hehe /silly#honestly I’ve barely had enough time to sleep at night#wish I could stop functioning as a human and just become a jellyfish or something frfr#maybe in the next life /j#tryna collect some motivation like people do with seashells on the beach#and trying to find my muse again like I always scramble and tear through my room to find my missing airpod#in other words#it’s a struggle#but I’m trying!!#hopefully you guys aren’t mad at me 😅😭
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Have you guys ever been so disgusted by family snz that you actually start crying
#i don't think my sister thought i was in my room with my headphones off so she didn’t bother being quiet and it made me feel sick#headphones on straight away immediately burst into tears#obviously being autistic and extremely sensitive to sound doesn't help but :///#only con to living with her#i get so pissed off because she doesn't drink enough water all day and then has gross reactions by the evening at which point she's home#it's actually vile#and the worst part is she gets actively offended if i look even a little disgusted which i cannot help#we're about to share a hotel room for 4 nights so i am going to beg her to drink water and take antihistamines#anyway. i'm sure it'll be fine but had to type this out because i'm still actively in a state of physical repulsion#i've blocked someone on here before over telling me to not be mean about my sister but honestly fuck you let me vent#nttalks
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"Albie" (main story 11-21)
At the end of Episode 11 (Part 1), we find out that "Albie" is simply a name that Vyn made up on the spot when Rosa asked. He may have been inspired by his own birth name, Vilhelm Richard Albert de Haspran.
In Chinese, Vyn choose the name "阿明". "阿" is a prefix used to form nicknames, "明" can be a name but also means "bright, clear". In Vyn's Romantic Rail Getaway card "Food for Thought", he tells us the meaning of his name:
You can see the character 明 appear in the word 明亮 ("bright"), although 明 is such a common character that I wouldn't say that this Chinese text alone is enough is sufficient evidence to show the connection between the two names. It's the way that the "Albie" and "阿明" happen to coincide in the name "Albert", which made me take note of Vyn's "careless" choice in name.
If the Chinese name was intended to subtly reference "Albert", I can certainly imagine imagine this as one way to preserve that reference through translation, even if it becomes more obvious. We do have an example of the translation preserving plot-relevant wordplay in a name: Lowe Leare ("Lowly"), originally 萧仁 ("小人", both pronounced "xiao ren" but with different tones). However, there's also an incident of a plot-relevant name being missed through translation, though it was in an event (not the main story) that probably foreshadowed a distant plot point and had infamously bad translation issues.
Anyway, it remains possible that "Albie" is a coincidence. However, after Vyn and Rosa wrap up their conversation about Albie's name, the narration makes a comment on the importance of that moment:
It isn't until the whole case is settled that you are surprised to realize something... You had briefly touched on the key to cracking the case at this very moment.
...which at least gives me enough confidence to not feel silly writing up a whole post about it. We've only seen part of this case, and there's a lot of mystery still surrounding Vyn's behavior so I don't have any definitive hypotheses on why Vyn might have chosen his own name for Albie. Is there something that made Vyn seen himself in Albie? Did the delinquent's attitude remind Vyn of the cruel, stratified world that he was born in? Is he reminded of how people who have imperfections will be tossed aside and abandoned? I guess we'll see when part 2 of this episode is released.
#tears of themis#vyn richter#tot vyn#tears of themis analysis#mo yi#tot translation#thoughts of themis#was the ''albie'' reference really obvious or not?? i honestly have no idea. but it only clicked for me bc i was staring at both versions o#text side-by-side and i was like. WAIT A MINUTE.#doing fan translations is fun bc even after there's an official translation; you might read something almost 2.5 years later that triggers#some deep memories (bc u took so so long to translate and had to agonize over every single word choice oh my god)#god i did my first translations two and a half years ago. sounds CRAZY when you put it like that#but honestly great experience 10/10 i'm always wishing i could go back to that time. also nothing makes me feel more powerful than when i k#know i have an easily searchable script of certain cards thanks to my own translation. it was SO EASY to find that RRG excerpt#hmm should i crosspost to the themis subreddit. i do have an account but i use it mostly to talk about console otome games
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Unenlighted: Sky and Wild don't have that good of a relationship due to Sky's guilt and Wild not feeling he's good enough when compared to any of his predecessors because he failed the kingdom once and it gets exacerbated by the events of TOTK, similar case with Flora and Sun.
Enlightened: Sky and Wild have a pretty good relationship, but it's still strained because of both their problems and the strain grows bigger after TOTK when Fi breaks, Sun likes Flora just fine as a descendant while Flora is incessantly tormented by the fact she always believed her entire life she'd never measure up to the other Zelda's because she couldn't fulfill her duty anymore than Wild could, and it causes communication.
Ascended: Sky and Twilight having a full blow custody war in the back because they both see Wild as a better successor than he believes himself to be due to the parallels to BOTW, TOTK and Skyward Sword even though it's technically Twilight Princess' spiritual sucessor (since it was originally made to be a sequel to that game) and Sky and Wild both get along well with one another, and instead of getting angry at Wild for breaking Fi he's more so worried for him and her equally (and then has to be held back by the rest of the Chain along with Twi to not eviscerate whatever's left of Ganondorf's body) meanwhile Sun all but surprise adopted Flora as a sister and is super supportive of all her pursuits and number one hype woman because she was as unhinged as her at her age and Flora is flabbergasted but really really happy and relieved she doesn't see her as a disappointment or anything and they get along like the sister she never had growing up. Specially since they can both bond over not being quite regular humans anymore and can help one another deal and learn more about it.
I will not elaborate.
#linked universe#tears of the kingdom spoilers#kinda?#eh#give me the found family dynamic in full and more Sky and Wild and Sun and Flora parallels and bonding folks#you're telling me Sky wouldn't see Wild's arm and not immediately be asking for names? specially after he sees Fi?#It's their who did this to you moment#Friendly reminder Sun was supposed to have an independent mode in SS we were robbed off#and also that the first thing she did upon getting to the surface was not sticking around Impa in the temple#but explore and want to know more. she jumped onto the Kiwi Elder's stomach just to get to a temple so she'd try learning more#she was trained as a knight much like Link was and possibly for longer than him#and she's Hylia's mortal vessel#you can't tell me she wouldn't have torn Rhoam a new one or that she's fully human#or that she also wouldn't have stabbed Ganondorf if she had the chance#she pushes Sky off Skyloft and off the goddess' statue with no warning#and presumably it's not the first time she was ready to throw hands with Groose over Sky in SS#She's as feral and capable as any of the other Zelda's and it honestly shows in Sonia so she'd definitely encourage Flora the most#Summer's Sleep Deprived Rambles
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hey uh just as a reminder if you’re polyamorous/non-monogamous and you don’t allow your very monogamous partner the chance to leave the relationship if they find it doesn’t work for them and they’re not okay with the relationship dynamic then you’re a shit human being
#ari announces#long story but there’s this overarching Tension going on in this server i’m in and god. the way that monog partner is manipulated makes me#feel fucking sick. how selfish do you have to be to make someone just be okay with your relationship style#it’s all crocodile tears in there so often that i can’t even feel bad. they’re so horrible about it#and i’m just trying to find the right words to say ‘hey uh. why is no one else confused that the monog partner can’t leave’#wow! how strange!! i’ve never met two ppl more selfish in my life doing a relationship style meant to dissolve that#i just. god. if ur partner isn’t satisfying u or if ur not happy with where the relationship is going u should be allowed to leave. no ifs#ands or buts. and honestly while we’de at it don’t force ur monog partner to therapy bc u think she needs it to cope w u doing whatever u#want. and ignoring her needs. it’s fucking moronic. and then they’re SHOCKED when they run into issues and problems#like am i an idiot??? am i just not seeing smth i should be??? i feel insane abt this like genuinely#no one else fucking says anything and i’m going to when the time comes. if smth comes up again. i’ve had enough of seeing this#selfish awful behavior of not wanting to let someone go if they want to leave. it’s fucking gross
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got my staunch anti voting family to vote (mostly). also I came out to them.
the latter is not nearly as causative for the former as you'd hope. but.
#it's at least an explanation for how I'll react and be affected should the election have a bad result#I was trying to help them out bc they'll have to deal with the fallout should it come to that & I felt obligated to make them fully aware#of ALL of the consequences and what their inaction meant to me personally#they tried to reassure me in their own way and their idea of protecting me is reenacting the Alamo I guess#but it's like. I know that's for their own sense of morality and heroism. the first step is ACTUALLY with a ballot thank you very much.#'being queer? sure that's nice. voting?? get that the hell away from me!!!!'#it was horrible every step of the way. sick to my stomach over their idea over what was 'right' and 'moral'#(idealistic nonsense to rationalize it to themselves)#and sick to my stomach over the pressure I was causing and the backlash to that#literally no way to win so I might as well stick to what I know is right even if they resent me for it#SORRY I was raised to have a moral backbone lol#it was so messy oh my god but things are fine okay whatever atm#we got our mail in ballots squared away over the weekend#I know we're in a 'red' state w/e but that's 4(?) votes for harris so. not nothing & I can only hope it's a microcosm reflected elsewhere#honestly I don't know if I STILL would have had enough to work with if abortion rights weren't on the ballot#so a key piece of my framing was like. PLEASE for the love of pete help me with my fucking abortion rights.#so I can have a safety net if you want me to continue this lineage at all bc I am our best chance & you know it. (didn't say that last bit)#weaponizing white woman tears for good.#I nearly boo-hoo'd too close to the sun for my mom when it became clear that this was threatening family peace.#did I feel really manipulative? yeah. but is it actually manipulation when this is the reality of the situation and my feelings are genuine#like hi it's important to me that you say 'no' in the only way that it can actually count for historical purposes?
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Nene and girlfriend this time :3 !!
Grhghvhhg the girls... the shawty baes..
(Still more!! Next post is gonna be boyfriend focused [with a little bit of Pico too ^_^] !!)
#fnf#fnf fanart#fnf gf#gf fnf#fnf girlfriend#girlfriend fnf#fnf nene#pico's school nene#why do i always feel so shameful putting tags gang#picos school nene#nene picos school#nene pico's school#pico's school#picos school#doodle#whiteboard fox#wb fox#angelicdonuts#i love u nene.. they coukd never make me hate u nene </3 also i had like the biggest brain blast and it drastically chsnged how i#characterize her. like its genuinely crazy. like to just randomly gain like this unfathomable knowledge that makes you rethink the way you#see a character is honestly indescribable. it genuinely feels like getting your third eye opened or something#funny thing is you can see it in my art of her. like even in the wb doodles ive been posting. which does kinda make me want to tear my hair#out but like!! oh well!! at least she has depth NOW though i wish i cared to look into her before#whats also funny is that once again a ship that involves her is what makes me rethink my understanding of a character#its just that this time it was her lol!! first time was cy btw#thats a story for another time though! i love neeners and i love yapping!!!#ummmmm still havent reached 30 tags but i have no idea what else to talk about#OHHH dont ask about what girlfriend's sitting on dude#shit's tough man#uhhhhhh yeah!!
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