#this hasnt happened in fucking forever

[cxlrose]

IM ON A 5 WIN STREAK IN RANKED OH MY GDODEGFIDL

[frosting-surfeit]

You guys ever had a hc you genuinely thought was a truth to the point you didn't realize it was a hc at all...?

I imagine zims touches/cuddles would be extremely stiff/awkward and such and he doesn't do them right. Like he takes them very literally and has no idea how to do them / do them gently ...

Nor does he understand hes apparently being off with them or how

Also dib is ill or something

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Anyway uh, if your someone calling Ariana Grande's donating to four children's hospitals in Manchester Christmas presents for children a PR stunt: actually fuck you holy shit, she may have issues but this is not one of them, she's been doing this for seven years in a row and ever since the bombing at her concert that sadly took the life's of twenty two people and injured one thousand and seven people.

[floorpancakes]

have I ever told you guys that despite watanuki and haruka being an absolute no go ship for me (although watanuki definitely crushes a little bit on anyone that shows him basic kindness which muddies almost all his social interactions with slight bisexual hot mess aura) I actually ship specifically one of my watanuki derivatives with haruka . like I realised this pretty recently and it's crazy. I cooked up a whole new kind of doomed yaoi its so juicy

its like a toxic yaoi setup so sad and sopping wet that it makes HARUKA fight for his life. the ultimate trap to make him lose his smile...he may get it back but only if they go through like 500 years of couples therapy and canary gives up on his yuukoquest and the kidnappings and the multiverse anomalies and all that good stuff

[seilon]

you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

Hi, random comment but Holy shit your half-transformed Monster Tom with the mouth in his chest is so fucking cool! Also, monsterfucker Tord is so real! Can only imagine Tord's reaction when he saw Tom like half-transformed for the first time.

THANK YOU! im like. super happy with how i draw tom, monster form ABSOLUTELY included. i put like. way too much thought into it lmao but ive always been a fan of unique creature designs so what else is new.

RRRAAH RAMBLINGS UNDER THE CUT

so ive been obsessed with the concept since i figured out what exactly happened during PowerEdd, ~2015. tom was kind of already my favorite but i only got more obsessed now that i could draw him with claws and fangs now.

(lmao old art^ lets all point and laugh)

when i finally got back into eddsworld this most recent time and started thinking about how i'd draw the guys i already knew i wanted tom to be trans, so when i started sketching i drew him with top surgery scars... which kind of looked like teeth... and the canon monster design already has a mouth on its chest/head... it just worked!!

...

ok tangent time- i dont like the canon design very much (the combined head/torso is Very limiting for poses. F!!!) but i also have never really liked the popular fanon of just making monster tom a wolf with horns and a single eye. it always feels so reductive!! do you KNOW how many monsters there are out there who are just "big dog/cat plus one fantastical feature"???? MANY!! so i was pretty determined to find a design i liked (one that was both flexible and fairly unique) before putting it in anything.

...and the partial transformation cliche of just putting accessories on a character is SUPER boring to me. so i wanted something that would be an actual halfway point to a fucked up freaky creature that is only barely humanoid.

ok back on track it took me like fuckin forever to finally get the final ~50% design together. i tried mimicking the merged torsohead of the canon monster and it just left me disappointed. :/

the single blank eye instead of the rest of the face was a god damn GENIUS move i am so proud of it im pretty sure the first time i drew the design was the actual draft sketch for the comic. because fuck making reference sheets!! the design's in your mind, right???

oh! as for the second half of your ask, the first time Tord saw Tom half transformed was right here^^!!

then a couple weeks after that i managed to find a 100% design i liked that still looked like a reasonable end point. at which point i actually made a little ref sheet! BEFORE i used the design in a comic!! it hasnt gotten much use but i still like it :)

i took a much more wyrm-like horizontal approach as opposed to the vertical design of the original, but the arms (connected to top of spine, directly behind head) and legs (close to the bottom, optional) allow it to still match the original's body plan, especially from the front view. then extra legs, big spiky scales, even larger mouth... because who wants just a dog with horns am i right!!

ahaha so basically im incredibly proud of how the design turned out so thank u for liking it :))

[wlwanakin]

I gotta get ur pov on Anakin and Padme after the war(no empire situation) Some ppl seem to think they wouldn’t work out, like divorce, but I don’t agree with that bc Padme didn’t even want to leave him at Mustafar and the only thing that kept her from him was dying and there’s no way Anakin hasnt given her his whole heart to never take back. I think a lot of ppls reasoning is based on wondering how Anakin would handle his mental state(these ppl then ignore Padmes traumas) and how much self sabotage he might do, with a smattering of them never truly getting to be a couple since it had to be so secretive. And then I’ve seen ppl say he wouldn’t be a good dad bc he’s too possessive to a degree of destruction. I dont know tho bc what we got to see was Anakin at his worst and having a mental breakdown. I think abt how he was as a child with his mother and I wonder if he had room to breath and didnt have to lie anymore if he would reconnect to the best of Shmi and what she taught him. Not being groomed by a sith lord anymore would also be a pretty big game changer

this is one of my favorite things to think about!! i don’t think there’s any universe where they aren’t together til the end honestly, though they’ll totally inevitably run into problems because they’d previously spent their marriage not really able to find out how they work as a normal couple. there’s no getting around the fact that they’re both traumatized people who don’t have any experience that lends itself to a non-hierarchical romantic relationship like theirs, especially not under non-strenuous circumstances. but them being able to give each other that escape is what drew them to each other to begin with so it’s a learning curve they’re on together.

anakin specifically is never gonna be 100% mentally healthy because he has led the kind of life that fucks one up forever but plenty of people who are similarly mentally ill are still able to successfully have relationships and be decent/good partners. and the thing about anakin is that he had an unfathomably awful childhood but then when he escaped his old circumstances he never actually stopped being traumatized, but even while getting pretty regularly re-traumatized he was a pretty good husband for the better part of three years. so i don’t see why that would change drastically in a world where that’s not happening and he’s not getting pushed to a breaking point all day every day. he’s constantly stuck in a context that’s enabling pretty much all his worst traits and stunting any healing he could do because you can’t really process childhood trauma while going through even more trauma on the daily that you’re also not processing, so if you took him out of that context he’d pretty automatically be in a better place by nature of no longer having an occupation that traumatizes him faster than he can think about it and requires him to do lots of violence. even if hypothetically he had a full-blown breakdown and self-sabotaged to hell and back in a post-war au, if you remove The War and palpatine from the picture that sabotage is probably going to look a lot less like murdering a bunch of babies and a lot more like regular instability and padmé has proven herself to be so forgiving and understanding of anakin’s issues that she can and will forgive baby murder so long as the motive is sympathetic so why wouldn’t she be understanding about non-mass murder forms of acting out.

i actually think their biggest problem would be that they have pretty polar-opposite relationships with systemic power and hierarchy. they both understand dehumanization and having immense age-inappropriate responsibilities placed upon them, but anakin has spent his entire life in positions of subservience whilst padmé has spent most of hers in positions of power (rather complicated ones where she’s often reduced to a pawn but still). and they’d absolutely clash on those grounds, because they’re stuck in this place of almost understanding each other but not quite and that’s frustrating, and also because they probably have habits related to this that set each other off (i can totally see anakin short-circuiting at padmé slipping into her more authoritative political persona by accident during an argument or something or that turning into an explosive fight). and this is just the kind of thing that would slip out more and more the more time they spend together, but it’s also not relationship-ending.

in general they’d also struggle with working through things because they are both quite stubborn and their previous circumstances forced them into a position of not really being able to linger on any issues or clashes because their time together was so limited and precious, but they love each other so deeply and also just like each other and for two people who want each other in their lives as much as those two do that’s absolutely something they’d learn. it’s really just leaving the honeymoon phase except the honeymoon phase was…war. i really think that especially in a situation where anakin left the order and padmé stepped down as senator they’d have a lot of space to work through it and it’d be more of a matter of learning to be people together after a lifetime of being denied normalcy.

(the question of what kind of parent anakin would be is a more complicated one imo but i do tend to lean towards “decent” because as much as he’s possessive and destructive his ability to be a loving husband and his relative success at training ahsoka tells me he wouldn’t be violently nuclearly bad. you can’t really use darth vader as a basis because his brain looks like swiss cheese at that point and you can’t really call being on the opposite side of a war as your adult son “parenting” even if attempts at creating a familial bond were made. but that’s a whole other convo.)

[kiyomitakada]

If you’re still doing faketumblr posts. can I request German audio drama verse because the post misa-suicide and then post takada-fire dashboard must have been insane

FORGOR TO SIGN THAT. GERMAN AUDIO DRAMA ASK WAS FROM QUINN IF IT WASNT ALREADY OBVIOUS. WHOOPS

@luzon-dove i am always and forever down for german audio drama verse.

#asks #luzon dove #<33333333 audio drama my beloved forever

🎬 filmgirlinafilmworld Follow

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

🎬 filmgirlinafilmworld

hteyre saying misamisa might have been a kira victim on the news what the fuck why woudl they kill her she hasnt been in any movies for five years i would know

#t #my niche hhyperfix actress was fuckin gmurdered #what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

5 notes

🌿 jokermorph Follow

it's been a day

🌿 jokermorph

#BESTIE WHAT #ARE YOU OKAY

i'm gonna need you to look up "kiyomi takada news" or maybe "huge fire arson burn death fire news"

🌿 jokermorph

#[randy your sticks vc] op youre doxxing yourself #op your address

it's fine i kind of have to move anyway. you'll never guess why.

#if this breaks out of confinement istg

103 notes

🎇 kirakirasource Follow

So through some, er. Means. I have acquired a transcript of Kiyomi Takada's last phone call.

I don't often make posts myself on this blog, but I don't feel right keeping it to myself. Have at it, I guess.

Keep reading

🧨 fun-with-sparklers

he's forcing me okay so kira deffo killed her

🪿 sillygoosetheory

does anyone else think the kira spokesperson position is just cursed. first demegawa and now kiyo-chan…

🪬 preordinal

You know what this reminds me of?

Ancient Greek oracles.

Mouthpieces for the gods, pretty human faces on something incomprehensibly divine. Used, abused. Demegawa died in his Temple. Takada died in the cleansing embrace of holy fire. For who could speak the words of a god without losing their own humanity?

🧨 fun-with-sparklers

what.

🧑🏻‍🏫 nerdful-delight

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU THIS IS A REAL PERSON WHO DIED. SHE HAD FAMILY. SHE HAD FRIENDS

🔱 aegeancatkinnie

that's not even how oracles work

#reblog #tell me you got all your myth knowledge from p3rcy j4cks0n without telling me

752 notes

♍️ but-the-dots Follow

Okay this is like. A stretch even for me I know but. Do yall think it's kind of sus that Takada got killed right after Cosme Misa did

🪿 sillygoosetheory

cosme who???

#that annoying ad jingle???? #how dare you remind me of that its been yearsssss

9 notes

🕯️ cupidb4by Follow

-- REST IN PEACE MISA WATERI --

#girlcore #im just a girl #hell is a teenage girl #lizzy grant aka lana del rey #girlblogging #sad girl #realsad

12 notes

📖 asahi-the-student-blog Follow

I hope everyone in the world kills themselves

#Delete later

0 notes

⏮️ helpfulnavigator

first ; prev

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

I need to hear about your stancest somno ideas please

God okay some my fave stancest somno ideas:

theres one where ford's had a weird habit starting from childhood with displaying physical affection with stan's sleeping body.

it starts off innocently enough. holding stans hand, petting his hair, just generally innocuous and ultimately still super platonic. of course to anyone else its not weird, and hell he might have some guilt over it but he buries it down because hey, he's not doing anything wrong. it escalates through out the years until he's being an absolute undeniable creep— but one where he'll justify it with him doing it for so long and it hasnt hurt him or stan yet, with the way stan's body reacts its obvious he likes it too!

another is where i mention a lot but stancest!! fwb but they also still havent forgiven each other situation!!! ford pre weirdmageddon practicing his stan impressions while fucking stan in his sleep and telling himself he loves him in stan's voice!!! god i love this one. i dont really have a set situation in mind on this one (tho my idea is def theres some competition they have and its fords competetive spirit after getting prod by stan a lot), but whatever it is just know i just think itd be fucking hot and there would be a part where stan wakes up thinking hes having a dream and not even realize its actually happening.

a rare stan being the "aggressor" one where ford gets cursed to sleep forever and needs to be saved (again) by literally getting fucked awake and stan would feel guilty the whole time, especially if he likes it. honestly any situation thats fuck or die is genuinely so fucking good to put stan in because you know hed do it for ford

and honestly theres one i really like where they both have trauma with sleeping, especially ford, so as some sort of sex therapy thing where one brother touches the other while they sleep so they think of their lover instead of all the abuse theyve had before <3

[tropicalcontinental]

Still working on that crossover fic, just veeeeeeeeery slowly (STILL trying to reason things outttt (I should just write and see where it goesss though I only need about 3k more words (<- rough estimate))) Spoilers below (me yammering)

So a specific convo that Andrew and Kevin mayyyy have….. Kevin is probably used to, or at least intentionally distant from, any case of sympathy for the entity. Gotta get it gone, and move on. He doesn’t know that Smiler is named Everette at this point (christ this takes place pre-Into the Mind, how is that possible), but he has seen the videos of Smiler pre well. And it’s like, sucks for the kid, but in Kevin’s mind he just wants to go back to doing his thing.

Interestingly, Andrew doesnt seem to acknowledge the videos of Smiler before the well in any videos. SO maybe Kevin brings it up nonchalantly and Andrew is like “Huh. that griefed world was Smiler’s??????” and while I don't think Andrew would do a complete 180 for Smiler, he would find himself begrudgingly sympathetic (especially if Into the Mind hasnt happened yet, though It All Comes Leaking In and everything else still doesn't make him sympathetic enough, even with pre-well Smiler knowledge.)

So its like, hey, doesnt getting rid of this kid kinda feel bad? from a reader point of view at least. I feel bad, but that's because I know more than the characters! Like what other way does Kevin really have? He removes things. He's gotta remove Smiler (and by extension this Call of the Well thing) Especially since Kevin just kinda faces the problem head on (lets see what I can do: get outta here stick, removes an entire chunk, exorcise Casey yourself alongside clients, DDOS Souler)

Again the audience knows Smiler’s deal, and I don't know how to like Realistically approach this while giving Smiler a happy ending while keeping everything in character (as happy an ending Smiler can get at this point) Hell maybe being removed from this thing is what truly gives him the peace to move on. Or maybe he cant (too many regrets too many hangups)

Maybe it involves Kevin countering everything Smiler does and he breaks Smiler down so far that he reverts to his old, scared, hurt, lonely, angry kid self that regrets what he’s become (before doubling down with Chris and Andrew cause what else can he do?)

Maybe end it off comedically man just send Smiler to therapy dawg (Kevin knows a guy for situations like these)

also Kevin maybe dont off-handedly mention that Chris is dead (he will unintentionally, which will be very awkward. Andrew has NOT moved on bruh he will cry on the spot)

Would also be funny if like, Chris and Smiler cant. Actually move on. Like theyre just stuck in minecraft… Would be very funny if Andrew goes through he letting go of the past arc and it just turns out his former best friend is stuck inside a game forever. Whoopsies! Also some kid that fucked with you for the entire series. The entities are not removed Kevin do your job smh

AUnyways thats it bye bye

[ecto-hazard]

pseudoencephalophobia

i think ive always had anxiety but it hasnt always manifested the same. now that im older and more aware of myself i have much more of the social phobias i didnt have when i was younger. but i still had things that made me nervous. i felt the need to hide journals and art even if there was nothing particularly incriminating in them. i would tell my parents my brother asked for ice cream or snacks or whatever so that if they said no, they wouldnt say no to me. these were all sort of weird quirks that were mostly in my own mind, but they probably were learned behaviors. you can probably trace them to specific causes. not wanting to feel ashamed. or be told no. stuff like that idk. they may have been irrational, but they ultimately made sense in my mind. but throughout my life a particular fear of mine never made any sense even to me.

when i was a kid i was like deadly afraid of brains. like the organ. even as a concept. idk what exactly started this cause i wasnt like Born like that (my suspicion is that it came from seeing a goreish gag from spongebob, specifically the strike episode with the door, but i also have a vague memory of DECIDING to be afraid of brains like on purpose???? i couldnt tell you what exactly happened there). it started around me being like 6 maybe. but it was like such a problem for so long in my life. i couldnt look at brains. drawings of brains. even cartoonish undetailed drawings of brains. watching nickelodeon and similar stuff was an inherent gamble. i had to cover my eyes whenever the scientist showed up on nightmare before christmas. martha speaks was one of my favorite cartoons on pbs but i fucking couldnt look at the goofy diagram demonstrating how alphabet soup went to her brain and let her talk. i had nightmares of rats with exposed brains, would wake up crying, and lied about the dream being worse when i felt it wouldnt be taken seriously. i similarly lied that i saw something scary on tv when i was at my grandmas when it was just an episode of chowder (i didnt even fucking see the brain on screen i just turned it off immediately knowing it was going that direction). at one point i couldnt even hear the word brain. or read it. i insisted people use mind instead. this annoyed people but that severity of it didnt last forever.

this was an issue for way too long in my life. even when i was an older teen. pretty much everything else i learned in health class was gross and upsetting to an extent. like i remember spending hours sobbing cause i couldnt bring myself to watch dissection videos for biology classes. but brains in particular just fucked with me. i still needed sticky notes and shit covering up the brains in my health textbook (SPECIFICALLY the brains! nothing else!). i still felt the need to cover my eyes watching shit like invader zim (idk why nickelodeon has so much gore???). i mostly kept it to myself, so it was less a bother to other people, but everyone close to me still knew it was a problem.

i was going to go into wildlife biology in college. it was the first time i felt really passionate about a future job. i loved animals. i wanted to work with animals. i had experience volunteering at an animal shelter and all. i was really excited to work with snakes in particular. i was still bothered by anatomy, i knew that was an inevitable part of it, but i was determined that i could overcome it for my passion

i could not

i didnt get through the first semester. none of the classes i took had any particular anatomy stuff, it was all real general Hey youre a freshman classes. at the end of our intro to bio course, the professor did a presentation showing what he worked on. photos of his research from the past. alzheimers research. a really important field to research in! but i saw the photos of dissections and that was it. i broke down. i left class fucking sobbing. i was humiliated. i had to immediately call my parents to say i couldnt do it anymore

the fortunate thing was that i switched majors to chemistry and had a good time with that. covid happened so that was a load of shit near the end, but overall i did fine. when i graduated, i was on anxiety meds and had been to therapy and had gone through a lot of self reflection and discovery (the nonbinary kind of course). i was wanting to do grad school of some kind but doing chemistry research wasnt really a good fit for me

id always liked biology. even if it scared me. so i looked into going into medicine. i had to actually take anatomy courses i didnt take at that point in order to apply to the programs i was looking at. my parents were supportive enough to pay for 2 more years of classes out of pocket so i could catch up on bio stuff

i was better about my fear at that point. i found diagrams disturbing but ultimately could get through them. but i was still afraid i wouldnt be able to handle it when i got deep in the course. specifically when it came to the nervous system lab. sheep brain dissection. id seen a video years ago in high school, but had never participated in dissection myself

(and i still wouldnt. the schools funding was limited, so they reused the same brains each lab and didnt actually cut them up. they were sort of prefilleted)

i slowly worked through the class. no major breakdowns. the models and posters went from unnerving to mundane. the plastic molds i hesitated to touch now but i still anticipated the lab. it felt like my ultimate test.

the day comes. the buckets of formaldehyde are out. all the nursing students in here dont want to be the first one to touch the little gray mass the teacher pulls out. theyre grossed out at the very least, which is fair. i wonder if any of them were similarly terrified.

i volunteer to take a look at it first. get it over with. the teacher puts the flesh in my gloved hands. its wet. it feels exactly like i thought it would.

and im fine. i was fine.

im proud of myself of course. i get through that class. and the next one. and all of them. i work at the biology department. i help set up the labs. i spend a significant amount of time living my childhood nightmare. and its fine. im okay. and im happy. i did it.

what i eventually became aware of is that im not like completely cured of my phobia. maybe its not even really considered a phobia anymore. but i found with more reflection that working with actual dissections and specimens, that didnt bother me for some reason. it doesnt at all. like i dont think id be okay seeing like. violent gore irl. but seeing what we Actually look on the inside was underwhelming.

what i did realize is that medical diagrams were still a bit disturbing. idk what exactly it is. the bright colors? the lighting they usually have? theres something off about them. something grotesque that isnt found in real flesh

and cartoons? even worse. always worse. theres a level of simplicity where it doesnt bug me, but seeing shit like gore in nickelodeon cartoons still upsets me sometimes. i Can watch it. i Can see that stuff without fucking losing my mind. but it disturbs me. and i dont know why. i dont know why that primal anxiety still stirs when i see brains in spongebob. but i have a sort of a theory

i think about the concept of uncanny valley. an almost universal response where humans feel disgust or fear seeing something thats Almost Human but not quite enough human. mannequins and animatronics. its off. its not quite right. the primal part of you sees it and knows not to trust it

i wonder if my brain knows that too. even if its come to identify with the outer layer of my face, i wonder if my brain knows itself subconsciously. especially when im distant, absorbed in a story, in a dream, out of touch with my external senses. when i disconnect, maybe my brain sees the familiar shape of my true form in the drawings on the screen. but it knows what it sees isnt right. its seeing a false image. ridges are too pronounced. colors are too bright. and somethings missing. it cant identify what. but a crucial part isnt there. it cant be trusted. uncanny valley.

so yeah i recently was able to play goobers lab on webkinz without panicking and it was pretty cool even if its just bejeweled. 6/10

[weebsinstash]

Damn, imagine if all this YT drama was happening when Spot's situation was currently going on too. And, well, since our dimension is fucked and we just seem to jump through dimensions without the watch, what if we end up in Spot's place? (The blank void when he entered one of his own spots).

And, it would be funny to look at him, and for him to look at us and just... stare or wave. He is weird like that, and we are too.

Also, we can start bonding on feeling out of place? Sharing the same experience of everyone leaving us behind/ignoring us. Maybe we can even seek solace in his presence, and in his unique persona (even if he is supposed to be a villain).

And the fact that this is the only place we don't glitch out of? Maybe some bullshit physics as this place literally makes no sense, as well as us. It's like we belong here, with him. He could always teleport us somewhere else, but we look so tired, so pitiful and in so much need of some sort of care... he feels bad for us. And maybe, he can try and convince us to stay with him. After all, he *is* the only one who hasn't turned his back on us, right? He isn't a bad guy like those 'friends' of us were saying!

Meanwhile everything is going to shit in the society's HQ :)

I've actually had a few ideas involving The Spot where he's either the yandere or antagonist or a central character in some way and it's really just a matter of me getting around to. Writing the dozens of things I want to write lmao

But bro your mind 😩 you've just been exiled during the YouTwo incident amd you're glitching and, you know, slowly deteoriating over time, and, suddenly, you're in this weird literally nondescript place where you're suddenly... 'balanced out'? You don't feel like you're being pulled in a bunch of different directions anymore, and you look around and it's just some white void with black dots everywhere that you think you can kind of see and hear things out of if you get close enough, but, first and foremost, is that a person? Spot just like. Is staring at you with this very deer in headlights energy and, you both awkwardly wave to each other, "uhhhhhhh... hi?" "...hiiiii, uh, is this 'your place'? Thank you so much, dude, I've been zipping all over the place, i thought i was gonna die, you saved my life" and maybe you even hug him and he's not sure how to process this because you're clearly a variant of Spiderman but you hold no animosity or hostility towards him whatsoever and 👉👈 this is the most positive human interaction he's had in ages.

Not even his powers, but his knowledge alone would be extremely useful in this scenario because like, he could literally just warp around stealing whatever parts he needed to build something that would "hold you together", given his involvement with Alchemax and the colliders specifically

You're just so understandably and genuinely grateful and Spot feels GOOD about being needed, about being someone's savior. He really had been one of the only ones who could help you and he gets a little drunk off that fact. Whether your glitching is a mutation and is your own power or you're simply some weird anomaly, you two form a kinship, and if it IS some sort of weird ability, maybe he even decides to mentor you a little! Gives him something to do, and it totally isn't to help distract him from how lonely and depressed and miserable he is!

But similar to how the other villains discounted him, you kind of discount him yourself in the sense that you don't see him as a threat. Which, he doesn't necessarily want you to, and it's not some sort of disrespect thing, but, the linger he spends with you, the more he wants you to see him as a man, a man with needs, emotionally, psychologically, physically. Whyd you have to give him all those hugs when he hasnt had human touch in forever, huh?! Don't you know how lonely and touch starved he is?! And you just think you can--can walk away from him? Disrespect him after everything he's done for you, disrespect him like everyone else?

You can always try and 'outrun him' with your little glitching, but, even if you manage to lose him, he'll pick up your tracks again, and one day you wake up from finally crashing from exhaustion to find a pitch black figure at the foot of the bed, slowly pulling in everything around it like some sort of eldritch black hole. And Jonathan menacingly waves to you, "I don't think I'll have trouble keeping up with you this time. I made sure of it"

[blacklegsanjiii]

A sanji that hasnt joined the crew but pops up everywhere when they need him (or dont, they just find him making out with their captain) also he leaves random buffets and easy to make recipes and stock in the pantry (he wont let them starve!!)

Maybe he’s already part of another pirate crew but he cares abt them v much so he cant help but help and hes always in the right place at the right time (arlong park, little garden, mr prince, and a bunch more)

OR BETTER ALTERNATIVE VERSION the crew besides luffy doesnt even know Sanjis there helping them and are all convinced the ship is haunted. Idk i just like the idea of sanji being a badass while also being a cryptic fuck

I love this. Luffy shrugged at his refusal and left. Zeff kicked his ass off Baratie anyway and now he's following behind to make sure they don't die. He's sneaking onto the Merry to stock it and leaves recipe cards and also a guide on how to care for Nami's trees. Sanji has his powers but was too emotional and that's why Judge got rid of him. Sanji is basically Big Foot. Everyone is confused except Luffy who always laughs and grins.

Sanji is following them in a small coffin boat and is ripping his hair out at every fucking instance of his existence following them. He's going to strangle the rubber man, doesn't matter if they're dating or whatever the fuck they're doing. Sanji is going to strangle him. Sanji had done Reverse Mountain, by himself, in a little boat, managed to befriend a whale with the god damn jolly roger of his not boyfriend, fought dinosaurs and lied to a Warlord and left a forever post to Alabasta on the Merry.

Sometimes he'll see Luffy and they'll make out, it's rare but it does happen. Like everything is normal and even Robin is confused at the blond guy who sets himself on fire in Enies Lobby and then leaves with a wave. Zoro has no idea who the blond guy is- wait is that the fucking waiter?- at thriller bark. Brook asks Luffy about it and all he says is that's his boyfriend. Everyone is confused except Luffy.

Like there's this guy with this awful bounty that's close to Zoro's and during the time skip it keeps rising in a weird way, because this 'Black Leg' is looking for the Strawhat Pirates and somehow winds up destroying more than he thought he would in retribution. Shanks probably asks this kid what the fuck he's doing when he accidentally wanders into Red Haired territory and Sanji is like 'well Luffy is my boyfriend and he and the crew are missing' and when they're asking how Sanji joined the crew over dinner Sanji is explaining he's not, he's just following them to make sure they don't starve like his dad wanted. Which he can't do after Sabaody and Marineford so if they could give him some directions that would be cool. Except they don't and Sanji stares blankly at them as he leaves and lights a cigarette with his foot.

Once the crew reunites they think Sanji will join, he doesn't. At this point he's not even following them, he's like racing them. He'll leave food and a present with the poneglyphs from where he's been. Sanji is a fucking menace though but because of his abilities he's not exactly easy to spot. Luffy will always find him though. Always.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

(end of bad’s Acceptance vod, about 1:48:30)

no but im never going to be normal again. LOOK at this. look. IMMEDIATELY before this he gave a whole miserable speech at the graveyard about how much he misses the kids and how he wants them to come home. He was grieving so hard it started to rain. He cried while he sang to them. It was the perfect end to 5 days of grieving- and then he does this.

and the rain isnt about grief anymore- the thunder isnt a peaceful background to a heartbreaking scene. It is rage. the whole context changes. The storm raged on while he grieved like he raged during the Everything Else that happened (“there are a lot of federation workers on today. I need to interrogate them about some things” he said while he was following forever ALONE to distract him. he knew forever was fucked up and about to put more marriage pressure on him and for anyone else that would have been Terrifying. how could you focus on anything but that? but. bad was thinking about tormenting more federation workers)

i just!!!! its so good. its SO good its so scary its so good. bad hasnt accepted the loss of his children but he has accepted how far he will go to get them back. (he will do anything)

[snakejar]

and the history book on the shelf... is always repeating itself.

aside from the absolutely disrespectful farewell for logan sargeant, i cant believe we are doing this shit again.

lets take it back.

its 2022. logan is announced to be driving for williams in 2023. he scores 1 point the entire year and is trolled the whole time for never performing. james vowles resigns him for the 2024 season nonetheless and says that they believe in him to grow and improve. he doesn't, and for he's abandoned by the team before the season even ends.

but the only reason logan was underperforming in the first place was because it was too early. sure, he had done 1 year in f2, but the type of people who do one year in f2 and win big in f1 are the charles leclercs, oscar piastris, and george russells of the world, and not everyone is like that. he needed more experience, more confidence, more familiarity - none of which he got enough of in 1 year.

and now its happening again, but worse. franco colapinto has no future in formula 1 - racing for 9 races, being replaced the next year, and not being able to go back to f2 is the dictionary definition of the death of a career. he'll likely find a spot at the back of the garage as a reserve driver for the forseeable future. worse yet, franco has even less experience than logan. he is an f2 rookie this year. he hasnt even completed a full season. hes raced in an f1 car maybe 3 times ever. he doesnt even have a full super license. logan's replacement should be better than him, bring in more money than him, guaranteed to do better than logan has or may, at the very least so that unceremoniously dropping logan in the middle of the season is a bit more justified - but franco is none of those things, and cannot be promised to be any of those things. franco has won fewer times than logan, is placing lower than logan did in f2. he is not promised to be great in the same way kimi antonelli or liam lawson are promised to be. and the argentine money and support may be plenty, but is it more than the american money? the established support, fans, and popularity logan has? i want to clarify this is not a hate post on franco colapinto, but it is simply reality. williams is dropping logan for failure to perform and the unlikelihood of performance later this season, which means they need to pick up someone who has demonstrated the potential to perform and will certainly perform this season, because driver swaps are costly and risky, and franco is simply not a safe bet or solution.

this is not the fulfillment of a dream for franco colapinto, it is the murder of a career. james vowles knows that alex albon and carlos sainz will be driving next year. he knows franco is inexperienced and therefore will very likely replicate logan's lack of results. he knows that graduating him to f1 will mean he cannot return to f2. he knows that he has not planned a future for franco at williams past these next 9 races. why would he do this? franco will have to settle for driving reserve or fucking off next year, and finding your footing in a completely different racing series is difficult, especially when you're young and your career has changed so rapidly. over the years it has been demonstrated time and time again that we never learn from our mistakes, and that the history book will forever be repeating itself, and this saga is only another chapter in said history book. in 4 months we will likely be watching franco colapinto race in formula 1 for the last time ever, and maybe at the end of it all james will finally reconsider replacing inexperienced rookies with inexperienced rookies.

edit: i was under the impression that there was a rule against going back to f2 after you get into f1, but apparently there isnt. even so, its rather unlikely because f2 teams have more than enough young prospects to choose from next year, and often cant afford an ex f1 driver's salary. plus its still a sad move career wise for franco; the likelihood of him making it in f1 after racing 9 races, going back to f2, and going back into f1 again is very unlikely.