#this has brought up my obsession of her all over again omg

[katherine-mcnamara]

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ  MIRAY DANER GIF PACK  ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

By clicking on the source link at the bottom of this post you will be able to access #303 gifs that are 268x170 in size from Hudutsuz Sevda 5.

These gifs were all made by me from scratch, for roleplaying purposes. Feel free to crop/resize/edit for personal use. Please don’t repost into gifsets/gif hunts or claim as your own. Please reblog if using. Hope y’all enjoy! 

[tarjapearce]

OMG Rosie with fangs 😩 would she chomp on mama while she was drinking her milk, ouch 🤕

Just imagined this and damn, my nipples hid lol. Little Rosie is a chomper.

Miguel out of everyone knew the risks that involved into having his children. Complicated births due the baby size that could lead up to a c section, some of his mutations, like his fangs, his eye's color, or even his height.

He was so fearful to know what kind of thing would crawl up to his children's DNA that when Gabi was born, he couldn't be happier cause his little girl looked so normal.

His fears of watching Gabriella grow and constantly checking on her mouth or eyes had triggered a little fight. His insecurities were one of the biggest challenges that you, as a marriage had got through. But your constant reassuring and actions, proved that no matter how your children came, you'd love them all the same.

Just like him.

When Benjamin was born, he wasn't obsessively searching for any anomalies in his baby, but rather enjoyed his time with his son. Being over the moon was little to say when he heard the news from the doctor. He'd finally teach little Benjamin everything that he lacked as a boy.

And now, thirteen years later, he was blessed with another girl. You cried upon knowing that Gabi would have her so longed sister. Your little flower was as healthy as Gabi and Benjamin, and definitely chubbier than Benjamin, thanks to all those cheesesticks with Dulce de leche you had scarfed down.

But there she was, ready for her nightime feeding. Her grunts and fussiness was her own way to urge you to feed her.

A not so quiet 'I'm hungry, Mama".

Gabi usually kneaded your breast softly as she latched on you, Benjamin loved to pull on your nipples with a giggle, or even slap your breast softly before feeding from your milky buffet. Rosie however had developed this amusing yet painful habit to shake her little head while chomping softly on you.

As her four months old approached, so was the itch in her gums. Miguel would design devices that resembled alot your breast, cause once Rosie had been fed, your nipples would be swollen and pained. He knew you suffered.

Yet, it was a sacrifice you were willing to do to see your children healthy.

Rosie had been tugging softly at the now sensitive flesh, her tiny hand bawled ontop of your breast, securing it in place. Your eyes would narrow in pained waves as she interrupted her feeding to sleepily chew on your nipple.

"Don't play with your food, Mi amor."

A little joke that instantly granted you a powerful chomp from her. Tears flooded your eyes immediately as a yelp came out your lips, startling Rosie that bursted into tears.

You heard Miguel's hurried steps rushing to your side and his eyes widened upon seeing you crying while trying to carefully pull Rosie out.

"Hey, hey, it's ok. Let me help"

Alarmed he managed to detach Rosie from you, and his eyes and yours could only widen as soon as your eyes fell on your nipple. Leakin not only with milk, but a faint pink-ish and red hue in it.

Her teething had made her uncomfortable and she wanted to breastfeed almost all day. But this particular bite had been painful enough to make you cry.

"-Salaverga" (Holy shit)

Miguel mumbled while looking into Rosita's mouth. Peeking from her gums, there were two pointy and tiny fangs.

"You ok?"

He looked back at you as you hissed and nursed your injured nipple while wiping the couple of tears that had escaped.

"Y-Yeah... I'm sorry I startled her."

His silence had made you curious as he examined with all the gentleness in the world, Rosie's gums.

A huff of your mouth blew away some strands off as you approached.

"Miguel, I'm not doing this again."

"No no, mi amor. Look. She... Rosita has-"

You gasped, a bit audibly and he tensed.

His little flower had gotten a part of him that brought him so many bad memories, and now they had hurted you.

"Hey, it's ok. Maybe it's time for her to be switched to the bottle."

Your caring hand caressed his shoulder, he melted at the touch and sighed.

"I'll... I'll come up with something."

"Miguel?"

You smooched his cheek and all the worries slumped off his frame.

"I love her, ok? Besides, Gabi once bit me like that. You did too, remember?"

Your soft elbows earned a little chuckle from him.

"Just means we gotta be careful. She's a chomper."

"Will let her bite my fingers then."

His little girl had calmed and clung to him, a little disgruntled by the itch inside her mouth.

"No wonder why she was so fussy."

Miguel rubbed Rosie's back in slow circles, soothing her and putting her to sleep.

"How's the nipple?"

"She punctured it with one of her tiny fangs. I'll be fine."

"Switch her to the bottle. We can't have her injure you again."

A soft whine came from his baby.

"I'll see what I can do, ok?"

Nodding, you went to the bathroom to take a better look at the small injury. He watched his baby, deep asleep on his arms, he then approached her crib and put her inside.

"Only I can play with my food, Mi niña.";

His large fingers massaged her scalp gently before tucking her in her lovingly pink blanket.

"Goodnight mi corazón"

[ambrosialdesire]

OMG i would like to request yandere bertolt x paradis reader.you can pick whatever part of the timeline you want, maybe he managed to survive to take her to marly, or maybe she just tried to escape on marly or paradis, or maybe he just kidnapped her I don't really care

Thank you

desiderate

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 bertolt x fem!reader word count: 9.5k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, some explicit sexual content, s4 bertolt au, implied non-con, violence, kidnapping mention, stalking, forced kissing (kinda dubcon), slight groping, kinda masochistic bertolt, cigarette usage/smoking, blood kink, knife kink, slight voyeurism, male masturbation mention, panty jerking off mention (?), slight body mutilation, scarification implications, all characters are 18+ synopsis: they've brought you here on this foreign land, a land that was once believed to be completely overrun with monsters. you've been living pretty easy with this new life of yours but it's hard to forget about what he's done to your old home. this singular man, capable of complete destruction despite his nervous demeanor. there may be humans here but the true monster still remained, watching your every move until he was ready to strike. a/n: IM NGL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST BERTOLT LMFAO i made bro a creep cause i feel like between bertie and reiner, bertie definitely has the tendency to be lurking and stalking behind corners and constantly following you and finding to opportunity to snatch your underwear to jerk off into LOL the reference that i used for s4 bertolt is this fanart that was used in a tiktok edit but i have no idea who made the art and it's making me scream bc it's definitely how i imagine what he looks like (but with thicker chin stubble) and i want to give the right creds (if you look up s4 bertolt/bertholdt fanart on google and see a tiktok image of him smoking, that's what i'm talking about but i want to give actual creds to the artist) also mb on the smoking scenes idk how it feels to smoke but i do sorta know the distinct smell of it this is also in no way connected to the cacoëthes series just to let yall know hehe i hope you enjoy this anon! thank sm for your request!! and sorry for the wait LOL note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

"Call off your damn hound Reiner, I'm getting sick of his shit."

Pushing past the blond as you entered his home, you made your way to his dining table. You huffed as you sat down, leaning back against the chair as your boot-covered legs kicked up on the wooden table. Reiner rolled his eyes, pushing them back down to the ground with a heavy thud. He crossed his arms, leaning on the wall adjacent from where you sat.

"A hello first would suffice. What's Bertolt getting himself into again?"

"My business!" Exasperated, you threw your hands over your face. "He keeps fucking following me and it's starting to freak me out. You guys know I'm not suspicious anymore, there's no way for me to be able to contact Paradis Island at all."

Saying your old home's name had started to feel foreign on your tongue unfortunately. It's been over four years since you've been whisked away by these two assholes and living here has been nothing but a thorn on your side. You worked under the Warrior Unit, mostly a simple soldier for both Bertolt and Reiner to boss around for basic things. It's nothing different from your time as a scout but it's frustrating working for them instead of with them.

You don't know why they took you away with them instead of breaking out their other accomplice, Annie, but after a handful of screaming, punching, kicking, and biting from you, they managed to drag you off to the boat. You stayed there for an estimated week or so with random strangers coming and going, poking and prodding at you as if you were one of Hange's experiments on Eren and randomly caught Titans.

The two of them finally came back one random night unconscious, battered and beaten to the point where their Titan healing powers couldn't even help them fast enough. You needed them alive — how else were you going to manage escaping this unknown place of theirs — so you helped tend to their wounds, staying at their sides until they were finally awake.

Once they were conscious enough, you punched Reiner square on the nose, spinning around to smash your knuckles right into Bertolt's cheek. Your hand was throbbing in pain but the burning fury you felt was stronger. By the time they woke up, the boat already was leaving the docks, and now you were most likely already miles away from home.

"You fucking assholes."

Blood was dripping down his nose, while a cut just barely formed on the bruised skin of the other. It was in vain however. Steam was steadily coming out of the two of them, meaning that the healing was back in working condition.

"FUCK! I didn't even say anything yet!" Reiner scowled as he placed his hands around his nose, snapping it back in place with a nauseating crack.

Bertolt laid there quietly however, lanky fingers brushing against the welt on his face but he was unable to meet your stare. Tears started streaming down your face, your body crumpling to the floor. You were completely hurt, you trusted these two like they were family, especially Bertolt. Was he really who you thought he was? How could they do this to you? To everyone back in Paradis?

"Why? Why me?"

The two of them fell even more silent, Reiner looking up at the ceiling while Bertolt closed his eyes shut as if he was the one that was currently going through it.

"Well say something goddamnit! Why am I here?" You were beyond angry, voice crackling from how loud you were screaming at them. "Tell me!"

Bertolt finally opened his eyes, pale green staring into yours. You couldn't see him. There was only the Colossal Titan looking down at you as if you were nothing but an insignificant speck on the wall. He opened his mouth, uttering remorselessly one phrase that made you even more resentful of their entire beings.

"I'm sorry."

Now you were here after long months of being processed and interviewed over and over by many Marleyan higher-ups, eventually and finally gaining their trust. You knew they still didn't like you but who really gives a shit, they left you alive and that's all you could be grateful for.

Since you directly worked underneath the two Titan shifters, they were able to get you housing and some basic supplies for you to be able to function properly in their society, as well as a good amount of pocket money to buy whatever you needed. You didn't go out of the house for a month though, still horribly and rightfully angry at them. You were also afraid of the idea that you'd get mobbed immediately once you stepped out and killed on sight by the locals.

Bertolt was the one that finally knocked on your door, tired and baggy eyes focused on the peephole. Part of you wanted to keep the door closed and ignore his presence, but he might report you or something stupidly petty. When you opened it up, the faint waft of bitter tobacco invaded your senses, nose wrinkling at the unfamiliar smell.

As you looked up at him, he felt and looked even more like a stranger than a past friend. It's only been a month but it looked like he had gotten broader at the shoulders and taller. He was wearing a beige uniform, a white undershirt and black tie peeking out of the chest of the long, belted trench coat. His black hair was partially pushed back with gel, slightly being more grown out from the last time you saw him. The way he held himself now in Marley was completely different from Paradis, an eerie calmness surrounding his person. He used to hunch into himself when he was a trainee and a soldier, but now his back was rigid and straight, arms hidden neatly behind his back. The posture reminded you of the utmost dedicated soldiers in the Scout Regiment.

"You haven't been going to work." He softly spoke, his head slightly tilting to the side.

"So?"

"Failure to comply means termination. Termination means you'll get kicked out of Marley. Getting kicked out of Marley means death." Alright, straight to the point. Even the way he was speaking sounded different, as if he had suddenly gained a newfound confidence that was only present here in his homeland.

"You guys really thought I was able to function properly in a new continent where everything is different in a few months? Not to mention, I'm still pissed off at the two of you but fine. I'll come in tomorrow. Goodbye." You proceeded to close the door on him but he stopped it with his boot. Groaning under your breath, you tried pushing at the door so he could back off, but it was to no avail.

His hand grabbed the side of the door and heaved it open with little struggle, letting himself in as you toppled back into the ground from the force.

"You haven't been going out at all. When's the last time you bought groceries?" You flinched, avoiding his judging gaze. How did he know?

"Last month." You muttered as you got up from the ground, brushing yourself off.

Bertolt sighed, glancing off to the side. "Okay. I'll wait here for 15 minutes. Go get dressed and get your money, I'll help you navigate the markets."

You didn't want to but food was definitely running low, and you don't know how long the canned meat in your pantry was going to last in your anger-riddled protest. You made your way upstairs, rummaging through the closet and grabbing the cleanest clothes you were able to find and put on within the time limit he gave. Making your way back down, you found him in the exact same spot, his eyes glancing around the living room.

"Alright. Let's go and we're going to make it quick. I don't think I can stomach standing next to you for this long." You bitterly grumbled, moodily pulling the door open. Bertolt followed after, closing the door for you and taking the lead. What sucked even more was how quickly you had to dash after him, his steps being too large for you to have a steady pace next to him. Maybe him being a near giant compared to a normal person — you noticed as the two of you walked through crowds of people — was thanks to the Titan DNA.

Each passerby gave you a look as you walked on through but never spared a second glance, which was good. You knew that you were an unfamiliar being, a foreigner that was never supposed to be here in the first place. The farmer's market was still open, vegetables and fruits neatly lined up in each stall. He did most of the talking, being able to haggle easier due to his status and the blaring armband that wrapped around his upper arm. You didn't like having to be publicly labeled, it felt like you were merely a product rather than a person.

You were focusing on a stall with jars of honey and jams when some person suddenly shoved you aside with their shoulder, body suddenly losing its balance due to the amount of groceries you were holding on one arm. You prepared for the impact of the cobbled ground but never felt it, instead feeling a firm hand snug in-between your curve of your side and another on your shoulder.

"Careful now." You opened your eyes, meeting his in shock once he steadied you back on your feet. Bertolt's face soon turned to a bright red, his hands quickly leaving you, and his gaze glancing away. Perhaps there really is still some semblance of the man you knew in your homeland.

"Th-thanks..." Adjusting the bag stiffly back up your arms, you proceeded forwards without him, leaving him behind at the stall. It became a usual thing eventually, he'd come over every two weeks to make sure you were fine and the two of you would go out buying your necessities for an hour or two. It didn't erase the fact that you still hated them, but at least he was helping you get comfortable in this strange new world.

You finally started going to work as promised, wearing an awkward and stuffy white uniform that made even the tangling straps of the cadet uniform pale in comparison. According to the paper that came with the uniform, you were to report to Reiner and Bertolt in one of the headquarters' rooms. However, the details were so vague that you were completely lost in the beginning, roaming the hallways without a clue where you were heading.

"Soldier. Face me."

You stiffened, turning around and straightening up. The tall man was vaguely familiar, a full blond beard lining his face and round spectacles hiding his eyes. His right hand raised up as if he was saying hello and you quickly returned the gesture, somewhat remembering that it was their version of a salute.

"Name and ranking?"

"Y/N L/N, er... I'm not sure of my ranking sir. I just know I'm assigned to work for the Vice Captain and one of the Warriors?" You shuffled your feet awkwardly and he nodded, gesturing his hand for you to follow him. He started scratching his ear as he walked, as if he was in thought. To you, he really felt familiar but you couldn't quite place where the feeling belonged.

"Ah yes," His eyes glanced at you, the blue color peeking out from behind the glasses. "Now I remember. You're Reiner and Bertolt's human souvenir from the devil island, aren't you?"

Is that what they called you? And how dare he call your home a devil island! A bubble of anger was rising within you, but you didn't want to take it out on the older man that was helping you find your way. He had to be a higher-up based on his demeanor and you'd rather not get in more trouble.

"...Yes sir, I am."

"You were supposed to be here a month ago." You cringed internally but nodded slowly.

"It's my fault sir. I've only been here for a few months and everything is too... new. I hope my absence didn't affect anything." The man simply hummed, stopping at a door with the words 'WARRIORS UNIT' neatly carved into the wood. You pulled the door for him, letting him saunter in before you entered.

"I found your little pet, you two." His hand pressed against the small of your back, pushing you forwards towards a table where the two of them sat. They looked completely exhausted and were partially bandaged up, quietly sparing a glance at you with a short wave.

You settled yourself in-between them, about to thank the man for helping you but he was already stepping away, going outside to light up a cigarette.

"Don't mind Zeke, he's just... eccentric like that. Hope he didn't offend you." Reiner pushed a pile of papers towards you to sort once you turned back to them, saying something about piling them from who sent them; the important files being from the commander and the Marleyan superiors and the unimportant files being from other soldiers. It slowly dawned on you that you became some sort of assistant to them, a glorified secretary for their war schemes.

"It's nothing too difficult, you're lucky to get this kind of work compared to us and the other Eldian soldiers." Bertolt slightly smiled, continuing to read a paper in his hands and you sighed quietly, beginning to sort. Part of you was grateful you didn't have to face war anymore, but the other part didn't want to be treated differently. Maybe the Marleyans thought that you'd defect once you were on the field or kill as many as you can with a weapon in your hands, going out in a blaze of glory. You never held a gun before though and it was most likely that everyone in this military could shoot you down before you could aim it at one person.

An hour or two passed by and you finished up the sorting, neatly tapping them together. It really wasn't a difficult task at all, were they going to make you do something else for today? You quietly waited for any orders, the two focused on their own thing until Reiner suddenly got up.

"I'll go get lunch for us. Y/N, you can relax for now, there's nothing else we need from you today. Good work." He ruffled the top of your head playfully, just like he did before after a training session in the corps. The blond soon left the room, leaving only Bertolt and you alone.

The two of you sat in silence, your hands fiddling with the seams of your uniform. Was sorting the only thing you're going to be doing during your time here? You'd quit within the month if that was the case but if not, maybe in due time you'll save enough money to open up your own shop. You've always wanted to sell clothing back in Paradis, just like your mother and father.

"You look good in the uniform." Bertolt finally mumbled out, the sound of a paper flipping over barely making it audible. You slightly flushed at the comment, diverting your attention to the closest wall in sight.

"Really? I feel like a wet cotton ball, it's so uncomfortable. The scouts uniform is way better." You grumbled, tugging at the cloth around your legs.

He slightly laughed at that, shaking his head. "No way. The scouts uniform was too tight, not to mention the straps were always so difficult to put on."

"Maybe it's cause you're a literal giant compared to everyone there. I just know they had to customize a whole other set for your ass." He snorted and started laughing, dropping the paper in his hand. You couldn't help but let out a few chuckles as well, crossing your arms together. The two of you bantered for a little bit longer and just for a second, it felt like you were right back home in the training corps canteen.

Everything fuzzed out in your hearing and you soon found yourself comparing home to here. The smells were different, not quite fresh as the countryside air and had a more smoky tone with every breath you took. The sights were different, more machinery was seen rather than grassy fields and trees. The people were different, there was no one recognizable to chat with besides your kidnappers. Everything here had entirely evolved and you were being forced to adapt to it. The realization made you feel a drop in your stomach, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

"Bertolt."

"Hm?"

"I want to go back home." Your voice was meek, heavy droplets falling down and staining the white fabric beneath you. His body stiffened and he got up from his chair, almost slamming it into the table when he pushed it in.

"This is your home." He responded coldly, a singe of irritation trailing off his words as he left the room, slamming the heavy door shut. You started to sob quietly, tightly holding onto the sides of your sleeved arms.

No it wasn't, and Bertolt knew it too.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Your work schedule was simple: Monday to Wednesday from 9:30 am to 6 pm, you served the Warrior Unit. Every other day, you could do whatever you wanted and that was that. The pay was pretty good for a livable wage, but nothing special. No task you were given from Reiner or Zeke was too difficult either, it was usually just sending out letters to their superiors or sorting anything they wanted you to sort. To be honest, it felt like they were just tolerating you since the Marley government didn't want to deal with you anymore. It sucked but it's better than being belly-up in the ocean.

You haven't tried to make amends with Bertolt after that day because one, it was his fault so why would you apologize anyways and two, he hasn't been around that often in the office space. Reiner explained to you that there will be days, sometimes weeks or months where some or none of them will be here. Apparently when they came back with the failure to retrieve the Founding Titan, the loss of Annie and her Titan, and the inability to capture Eren's special Titan, some nations came together and declared war on Marley.

"Hopefully it won't be so often that we're going to be gone for long. Wouldn't want to have you sit at home and do nothing." Reiner teased with a slight nudge against your arm before downing his glass of liquor.

"I do nothing even when working. Maybe I'll pick up some new hobbies when you guys are gone, like knitting or cross-stitching."

Maybe you can give the creations to your neighbors since you were just doing it for fun. One of them is an expectant mother and since you had moved in, she had been nothing but kind to you. It would be nice to give something to her in return.

"Alright grandma." You elbowed his side hard, rolling your eyes. He grunted and started rubbing the affected area, grumbling under his breath about your temper.

"Where's Bertolt? Aren't you guys inseparable?" He suddenly cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat. Back in the training corps and the short time in the Survey Corps, you've rarely seen the two separated. Wherever Reiner went, Bertolt followed suit.

"Probably caught up in something. He'll be here soon, he never cancels without notice." He waved his hand dismissively and you thought none the wiser, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass before taking a swig.

"Already missing him?" You suddenly choked on the liquor, throat burning at the sensation. No way. No way in hell, you'd ever miss him. He could get swallowed up by another Pure Titan and you wouldn't even bat an eye. You'd laugh instead, basking in the blood that would gush out of his torn corpse.

Before you could even say anything back, a soft voice popped into the conversation. "Missing who?"

The two of you turned and there stood Marley's behemoth, still dressed to the nines in his uniform. Reiner greeted him happily, ignoring the question completely, turning towards the bartender and ordering another scotch for his friend. Bertolt settled right next to you, taking the glass in his hand and drinking up the entire thing in one go, some liquid spilling out of the corner of his lips. He quickly wiped it up with his thumb, his tongue peeking out and licking the remnants away. His cold green eyes glanced down at you suddenly, catching you staring at him.

A flush of heat went through your skin, quickly looking away to stare into your partially-full glass. The drinks kept on coming, the haze of alcohol filling everyone's systems. You were the least intoxicated, slowly taking in the new attitudes and information from your drunk companions. It wasn't much but they became more chatty, opening up about their lives before Paradis.

"I joined because of my mother." Reiner moved his glass towards the bartender, his head leaned up against his arm as he watched the brown liquid fill up his cup.

"Oh yeah?" He nodded, taking a sip from the newly refilled glass before speaking once more.

"She had high hopes that our family would've been whole again. Me, her, and my father. He's, uh—" He cleared his throat, turning his attention towards you. A faint dust of pink rested on his cheeks, a cheeky smile growing. "He's a Marley-blooded man, so y'know... I'm not really supposed to..."

"Exist." You muttered as you finished his sentence and he let out a soft laugh, nodding lightly before downing his drink again.

"Harsh, but more or less, you could say that's it. Compared to me though," The black-haired man closed his eyes, huffing softly. "Bertolt here is more tragic."

Curious but puzzled, you turned your attention towards him, his hand running through his gelled locks and he mumbled something under his breath before taking a shot. You did wonder a bit about how this man turned out to be the worst attacker on Paradis Island's humanity, it felt sickening thinking about a sweet little boy being trained into a horrid monster.

"You know I hate talking about it Reiner." The blond snorted, turning on his chair and leaning back on the bar's counter.

"C'mon. Let her in on your situation, after all—" He stood up, walking over to him and placing his hand over his shoulder, leaning in close to his ear that you almost barely caught what he said.

"You owe her that much."

Reiner made his way to the bathroom, leaving the two of you alone once more together. The thought of trying to decipher what he meant flew past your inebriated mind and so you sat in silence, instead thinking that you might as well make your way home now. It was probably already past midnight, and you were sure that you were waking up late with a massive headache. As you finalized your decision, turning in your stool and towards the door without a goodbye, the thump of glass hitting wood snapped you out of it.

"I was raised only by my dad." Bertolt started and you slowly turned back towards the counter, your full attention on him.

"Don't know what happened to my mom, he never really told me and I was never curious enough to ask. It was just the two of us for as long as I knew but even as a kid that could barely read, I knew that he wasn't... okay." His fists clenched together and you could hear the cracks of his joints from how tightly he was gripping.

"When you're born an Eldian and live in the farthest parts of the internment camps, medicine is hard to get by and treatment is even more difficult to obtain. The minute I became eligible to join, I took the opportunity." You don't know what compelled you in the moment, but you placed a hand on one of his fists. He started relaxing once he realized that you were touching him, still stiff as he reminisced further.

"Did they give him the meds?" Bertolt nodded, taking in a shallow breath.

"A few days right after I inherited the Colossal, they started giving him everything they promised and he was getting better day by day. It wasn't until I left for our mission in Paradis that his condition evolved into something worse." You swallowed nervously, slipping your fingers into his and holding his massive hand gently. His head turned towards you, his eyes soft as he looked into your gaze.

You've never seen or heard him be so vulnerable before, guilt forming in the pit of your stomach. For him, he was fighting a one-sided war against your home, all because he wanted to take care of his dad. Yet in return, he caused the displacement of so many from their families, ripping them apart with a few kicks into the walls.

"When Zeke came on Paradis and we finally met up, I asked him about my dad and he told me that despite all the medicine and treatment that he's been getting, he wasn't getting any better. I had to see him again, no matter if I had failed the original mission or not. I couldn't die on that island without being able to see him again and I just barely made it. Sometimes the way we escaped made me wonder how I even made it out of there. It was only for a few months that I got to spend with him once we came back, but he passed away in his sleep last month."

His hand tightened around yours, though not enough to break it. No wonder he started to look more disheveled and exhausted recently, his whole reason for getting where he is was now gone. You pitied him but that didn't excuse the murders of thousands he did in your homeland. At the same time, it didn't mean that you should bring that major fact up, not when he was currently grieving.

"I'm sorry Bertolt."

"It's alright, you don't have to pity me. I have more to be sorry about towards you and the others. I'll never be able to properly make it up, nothing I'll ever do will be enough to wash away the blood on my hands."

The two of you sat there in silence, a warm hand around one cold hand. You really should leave now, before Reiner comes back and you'll be stuck drinking even more than you wanted to. You attempted to finally slide off the wooden seat, but he clenched your hand gently and tugged you towards him instead. Your eyes fluttered in both confusion and tiredness as you stood in front of his sitting frame. Blinking once, his face appeared right in front of yours. His free hand slid behind and rested against the nape of your neck, feeling thin but calloused fingertips tenderly brush against the skin as he pulled you even closer.

Okay... this was getting a little too weird for your liking. Beginning to open your mouth to verbalize your annoyance and trying to move back, he then took the opportunity to press his lips against yours.

You could taste the alcohol that the three of you had been previously been consuming intertwine with the tobacco's bitterness of the cigarettes he used, a vagueness of something sweet brushing up against your tongue as he tried to coax you into returning the action. His stubble was rough against your skin the more he moved, digging deeper as he pressed further into your mouth.

You had half the mind to bite that damn muscle of his, but the warmth of both the alcohol and him was stupefying, hypnotizing. It felt like you were melting against him, a warmth pooling in your stomach and in-between your thighs. Slowly, you convinced yourself to return the kiss, gravitating into his embrace. It was stupid of you to do considering you hate the guy but hey, who doesn't do stupid shit every now and then? Fuck, you even started wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders.

There wasn't much people in the bar anyways, either too drunk off their minds to care or simply ignoring the disgusting couple intertwining themselves in the public space. The bartender was off chatting with another patron, most likely used to the sight of a couple making their passion uncomfortably known to others. It's the Colossal Titan user, who on Marley dared tried to say something about it?

The hand that once was holding yours, grabbed at the crook of your back to draw you even more impossibly near him, then sliding down towards the curve of your ass. To your utmost surprise, he clutched and squeezed at the flesh firmly, feeling you up with this sudden confidence that you would never thought of him having before.

"Annie."

Sobriety hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing onto you once you heard her name slip through his swollen lips, taking no time to immediately shove the man right off of you. He just told you his story, that his dad had just died last month, and here he was, kissing and groping you and then suddenly calling out Annie's name. You were breathing hard, eyes wide as saucers as you stared down at him in shock.

"What the fuck? What the fuck!?"

Bertolt's hand reached out to you, as if he was trying to make you lift him back up. You've never felt so nauseated to hear those very words come out of his lips as a valid apology, like it was no big deal.

"I love you."

You ran.

You ran out of the bar, into the blackened sea of night, never once looking back. If you did, you were afraid of what you might see in his eyes or if he was chasing after you. With tears lingering in the corners of your eyes, one single thought remained.

Out of everyone in the squadron, why did it have to be him?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

For a month and a half the day after what happened, you never saw Bertolt in the office or around the internment zone.

It was probably the first time him and Reiner were ever separated for this long, the blond telling you that it was his own decision to be sent off into the battlefield alone. You wondered if he told him what he did to you after he came back from the bathroom, or excused why he was on the floor and why you were gone. Reiner never said anything about the incident, so it soon faded in the back of your mind into obscurity.

He wasn't your first kiss anyways, some now-dead nobody trainee back in the day was, and the two of you were drunk, stupid shit happens. Part of you also somewhat knew about Bertolt's fondness for the Female Titan user, originally not knowing about how close they were previously, but damn it. For a heated moment to be ruined like that left a sour taste in your mouth, and you couldn't help but hate him even more for it.

"He's back."

"Who?" Reiner's fist came down on the top of your head playfully, catching your attention from the paperwork.

"Y'know who. Better talk to him now before he passes out from exhaustion from the looks of it. Also, because I know you miss him~" He teased and you swatted his fist off of you, watching him as he walked off towards the main room laughing, leaving you with a pit in your stomach. You really didn't want to talk to him, even if a month had passed on by, but legally, he was your superior. Professionalism before personal feelings unfortunately.

You finally got up, walking slowly to the destination before taking in a deep breath and entering the medical unit. Bertolt was near an open window, a lit cigarette lazily nestled in-between his fingers as he stared out of it. He was the only person there and you swore that every time you saw him, he started to look more unrecognizable from his previous cadet days. His hair wasn't slicked back anymore, falling at the front of his eyes; in fact, you thought it might've grown out a little more from the last time you saw him. The Titan marks were still prominent on his face, like he had just transformed not long ago.

Wiping your clammy hands on your puffy uniform, you approached him, pulling up a chair nearby the bed and sitting down stiffly.

"Welcome back sir."

His head turned towards you and you swore that you felt the room grow colder as he gazed into you through the black strands of his messy hair. Maybe you were the only one that noticed, but his eyes were dead, hollow but still held some sharpness in those pale green irises. This was no longer the Bertolt you knew, this was a numbed man that got mentally thrown and torn apart in the arms of the constant war, the constant transforming, and the constant murder of many.

"Hit me."

"E-excuse me?" He must’ve gotten faster because you didn't realize how quickly he grabbed you until he pushed the palm against his healing skin. It was burning to the touch, as if you were right next to a blazing bonfire. Instinctively, you started to try and wiggle out of his grip but he held steady.

"Hit. Me." Bertolt's grip grew stronger around your wrist, fear creeping in through every cell in your body as you watched the surrounding skin pale from how hard he was holding. "That's an order."

You swallowed but nodded quickly in agreement, just so he can let go of you before any bones shatter. He immediately released you straight away, the action as fast as he previously took ahold of you and took a hit of the nearly burnt out stick. You had to hype yourself up for it, thinking back on every rotten memory you’ve had with him, balling up your fist and striking him as hard as possible where he originally placed your hand. The force made his head swing the other way, the cigarette butt dropping on the ground as your knuckles throbbed in agony. It was like directly punching a stony wall, not like the previous time you punched him on the boat to Marley.

You let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, straightening back up as you held onto your wounded hand. "And how do you feel, Bertolt?"

Bertolt’s body didn’t move, but his hand began to slowly trailing up to the injury, pressing his fingers against the forming bruise. You flinched as he pushed his hair back to where you could finally see his eyes, exhaling the smoke that he previously took in through his nostrils. He glanced over in your direction and let out a soft chuckle, although you noticed that it didn't quite reach those dull eyes of his. There was one thought that lingered in your mind as you stared back into his gaze, that he must've gone crazy fighting in the frontlines.

"Good hit, make me bleed next time." ...What? "Though, I'm surprised that you decided to visit after... what we did the last time we saw each other."

Recovering quickly from trying to process what he just said at first, you cleared your throat, crossing your arms. "The Vice Captain requested me to visit his right hand man, who am I to refuse his wishes?"

He simply hummed in response, reaching for another cigarette in his pocket and his lighter. Placing the unlit stick at the side of his mouth, his eyes caught yours once more, a slight smirk forming. "When'd you start talking like the soldiers? You forget the years we've spent together already since I've been gone, or did you finally get in trouble for treating us like equals?"

You scoffed, pulling your lips in a thin line. "You're the one that gave me an order earlier, and I've had a recent revelation that I had to start acting like a subordinate rather your friend or buddy or whatever the fuck we are, so yeah, I guess it's the latter."

"Ahh, better watch your language then or I'll have to report you for profanity against a superior." Bertolt was of course joking, the mocking tone intertwining with his words. As you felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance, the sound of lighter clicked and ignited, your eyes watching him pull the flame near.

"Y'know..." He started as he took in a drag, leaning his head back towards the ceiling and soon exhaling the smoke out slowly. "I've been thinking about you the entire time I was gone."

A heaviness plopped itself back on your shoulders, and you wanted nothing more but to excuse yourself out of his premises. You were about to say something to leave him alone, but he kept on talking, droning on and on about how he was counting down the days when he could finally see your face again. Bertolt mentioned that you were the only reason he kept on fighting, why he kept on killing so his commanders could see that he was doing such a swell job as their loyal Titan holder and let him leave early. What a horrible ideology, most of those people could've been innocents.

"And another thing, I kept thinking back on the kiss we shared that month ago." All the color drained from your face, turning and taking a step back to try and run, but felt his hand grasp onto the fabric right against your back. His voice had the same disdainfulness as before, a demandingness that you didn't even know he had in himself to project.

"Don't leave and turn back around. That is an order."

You grit your teeth, finally turning back around once he let go of your uniform and find him standing, his tall stature hovering over you. Nervousness crawled up your spine, flinching once you felt his cold fingers reach over to caress your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes scanned your face, inspecting your features quietly before taking another drag of his cigarette. He then neared your face and press his lips against yours.

Recoiling at the abrupt kiss, you tried to push him away but the grip on your face was painfully tight, almost akin to the hold on your wrist earlier. You could do nothing but endure this assault, a slight whimper slipping out as the soreness of your face grew.

Bertolt's tongue brushed against your lips, trying to coax you into opening them. You might as well obey, just to get this over with and the fact that you were running out of oxygen at an alarming rate. Once you did, he pushed the smoke in your mouth as he deepened the kiss, the burn in your lungs and in your throat getting worse. In a panic, you bit down as hard as possible to free yourself, the taste of iron combining with the bitter nicotine. You quickly doubled over and started coughing, watching in tears as vague smoke came out of your mouth with every heave and breath.

"Ah." You peered up at Bertolt from within your teary vision, the tips of his fingers on his lips and pressing against the wound you inflicted. It was deep from what you're able to see, but already started to heal itself. Yet, that's not what at all made you run out the room in distress, almost vomiting into the bushes once you stepped foot out of the building.

You watched in mortified horror as he smeared the crimson around his lips and chin, a seemingly euphoric and satisfied expression reflecting on those pale green eyes of his. He looked down at your frozen form, crouching down and reaching over to your face with his bloodied fingers. A small whimper slipped out as he smeared the substance on your mouth, a hungry grin forming.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? My blood on your lips, I wonder if I can make you bleed for me soon." It felt like he wasn't supposed to say it aloud, but maybe he wanted you to hear, to have a taste of what his true self was like. That thought alone made you run out, leaving him on the ground once again.

This time, you had to make sure you'd never see the sick fuck ever again.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

And this brings you back to the beginning, in Reiner's home completely agitated and frightened for your life.

The past few months, Bertolt resumed his normal duties along Reiner and you; although you limited your interactions with one another, you can’t help but notice that he was following you everywhere. Not just at work, but the times where you were on your breaks, going out to eat, shopping for groceries or clothes, even in your own home; you saw him. You barely caught him sometimes, he'd disappear in a blink once you tried to get in a second glance to confirm who you saw.

He lingered behind corners, staring at you with such a frightening glimmer in those dull eyes of his. He was usually expressionless as he stared into your very soul, not a single crooked smile or the usual slight upwards curve of his eyes. Nothing, absolutely nothing. And the strangest part was that he never said a word, just... stared. Sometimes he just stood there right in the public's view, crowds of people passing besides him without a single glance towards the weirdo in their way.

There was nothing you could do about it, he wasn't technically bothering anyone and due to the internment zone being rather small, they already knew that he was associated with you. How unfair it was. You wished you could live like them, ignorant and dismissive of the monster that stood right next to them.

Him being right outside of your window was your final straw, the lamplight just barely highlighting his features as he stood in your backyard. You screamed and backed up into your dining room table once you realized that he was right against your window, pressing his hand against the glass as his breath began to fog it up. His eyes were crazed, the first time you ever saw anything in them after weeks of ignoring him. You flung the drapes over the window — as if it could do anything to protect you — before running upstairs and hiding in your closet for the rest of the night.

If he was able to sneak up on you, to be that close without you noticing… what else has he done?

"He's being a fucking creep, Reiner. If it's not him trying to figure out that I'm some kind of double-crosser, it's him being some kind of perverted stalker." He snorted at your remark and you could tell that he was not entirely convinced. You took in a shaky breath, finally putting down your foot.

"Then I would like to request that I leave the Warriors unit and work somewhere else. I don't care where and if I have to move, all I want is to never see Bertolt ever again." Reiner's expression suddenly hardened and he pushed himself off the wall, leaning on the table opposite of you. You've never seen him quite as serious until now, unease filling your stomach.

"You do realize that we cannot protect you once you leave the unit, right? The only reason you're alive still is because of us, Y/N. Anywhere else in the other units, the generals and commanders will watch you like hawks for any mistake you make, minor or not. They would use any excuse to have your head." His hand rested on your shoulder and squeezed it firmly, checking his surroundings before leaning close into your ear.

"Look. I know about Bertolt's strange behavior, trust me, I've already noticed he's been off ever since he came back from that recent excursion. I don't know if I can convince him to stop doing this to you, but I mean it when I say that you're better off staying in our unit." He then leaned back and lightly smiled for more reassurance; a part of you felt that it was the scout in him that was talking and that made you feel a little better.

"We're all you got in this world and your best chance for living. C'mon, just give him one more shot." This wouldn't be happening in the first place if you left me back in Paradis, you thought bitterly but hesitantly nodded your head.

"Okay, fine. But you better get it in his head that I don’t want him stalking me anymore or I’ll report him to General Magath and leave the unit, no matter what the consequences are." You got up and headed towards the exit, turning your head to see him slowly push in your seat. He noticed that you didn't leave yet and lifted his hand up, almost waving goodbye.

"No promises," Reiner held up his pinky, slightly wiggling it. "But I'll do my best."

You scoffed, but smiled regardless.

"Then whatever happens, it'll be on you."

The next day continued on as usual, something normal for once as both Reiner and Bertolt weren't in today. You thought that they must've gotten deployed to another war since you hadn't seen any of the other Warriors either, but you continued work as usual for your shift. Even if you weren't required to, you might as well lighten the load for you the next time around.

By the time you were done with half of the stack, you finally called it quits, seeing that the sun had began to slowly set behind the towering buildings right outside of the windows. Clocking out, you slung your satchel over your shoulder and pushed past the doors, quietly walking back to your home. Now that you started to think further during your trek, it's strange that you didn't get any notification from Reiner about their sudden leave. He'd always gave you some kind of heads-up even if you didn't ask, either through a note or in person.

Was this something so serious that not even you can know about? That would make more sense, you're technically just an underling to them, you didn't need to know more confidential information from the Marleyans as a Paradisian; not like you wanted it or had any use for it anyways. The orange glow of the sun began to fade, the sky slowly turning darker by the minute as lamplights started to flicker on right on cue.

You were so close to home that you started to pick up the pace, a feeling of anticipation running through you. It's not like you felt scared, no. This was the first time in days that you finally felt like you didn't have to look over your shoulder, the first time in months where you didn't feel like you were being watched.

In a matter of minutes, you finally reached the front door of your home. You rummaged through your bag for the keys, taking your time as you pushed through the unfortunately crowded mess. There was no need to rush anymore, not until they come back, and hopefully Reiner was able to talk Bertolt out of his abhorrent, unprofessional behavior. Letting out a happy hum as you finally found what you were looking for, you pushed in the key and turned it open, only to be greeted with a gut feeling that caused goosebumps to immediately form on your skin.

Something was wrong. Despite everything being in their right and respective places, there was something... off. Standing still at the entrance way, you scanned the environment slowly, a lump forming in your throat as they darted to-and-fro nervously. The windows were locked, you knew they were, and none of the drapes seemed to be moved or altered from their original places. There was only one entrance and to get to the backyard, you would have to take the side fence door at the outside of the resident. You almost were tempted to back out of your own house, the one place where you've considered as the safest haven from the outside. This feeling, it had to just be that you were unused to being finally left alone... right?

You finally took a step inwards, the wood creaking underneath your boot. Mentally, it felt like excruciatingly long hours had just passed by for you to get another step, internally praying that your mind won't play tricks on you from the various sounds that were occurring in the considerably old home. There's nothing or no one here, you're just being a paranoid baby.

Exhaling slowly, you finally shut and locked the front door behind you. Repeating the phrase over and over gave you confidence to continue forwards, determination in your eyes. You'd be damned if Bertolt thinks he could scare you out of your own home, you'd rather go to prison than try to stay at his home for temporary shelter.

You lost your appetite to prepare a simple dinner, now knowing that you'd prefer not to try cooking something when you've just arrived in fear for your life. However, you carefully made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the wooden block. The sound of the metal sliding out of its sheath may have been the loudest thing you've been currently hearing. You gripped onto the handle tightly, turning towards the stairs.

You knew you weren't alone here, the house may settle now and then, but this felt different. This was different. No matter what your brain was telling you, your gut was telling you otherwise.

Crrreeeaaakkkk...

You froze, feeling suddenly out of breath as you stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. The sound came from your room, there was no doubt about it. A memory of Bertolt trying to secretly make breakfast for you flashed into view, the sounds of pans clashing below waking you up. You should've questioned how he gotten in the house in the first place during the earlier stages of this thing of his, but you were far too hungry and tired to even notice until now.

In meticulous steps, you made your way to the staircase, trying to make sure you didn't step on the wrong board and alert the intruder of your presence. Hell, he might've already known since you unlocked the door. The hallway never felt longer than it was before as you approached the room, the moonlight shining down on you and the weapon held in your dominant hand. There was more creaking the more you came towards the door, your heart pounding in your chest in the rhythm of a thousand Abnormals sprinting towards their next delectable meal.

The door was slightly ajar, alarms ringing in your head. You never have left the doors in your room open in your life, especially when sleeping and even when you left the premises. Someone is in there and you know who it is. Taking in a deep breath, you leaned in gradually towards the crack in the door, trying to control the trembling in your hands as you peeked through.

The stench of blood first hit your nose, then the sight within nearly made you scream in horror. Bertolt was in your room, sitting on the middle edge of your bed, all bloodied from head-to-toe what you were able to tell from the street's lamps dully illuminating the surrounding room. Though that was stomach-churning in itself, the action he was performing on your bed made everything even more heinously depraved.

The bastard was fucking his fist with your panties wrapped around his cock, his pelvis erratically jutting into the tight hold he put around it. His lips were slightly parted, almost barely audible groans slipping out with every stroke. Even worse, you could hear just the cusp of your name with it, your own face growing warm.

You had to report this to General Magath, now. Burn your bed and used underwear once you got the chance to second on the list. Reiner failed, maybe even never went up to him, and now you had to take the drastic way out of this. He finally took things way too far; if not your underwear, it might’ve been you.

You took a step backwards, immediately paling as the floorboard behind you squeaked loudly under the weight. The movement from within your room paused abruptly, anxiety and dread crawling up your veins with every passing moment. The sound of the bed springs being relieved of any weight on them immediately alerted you that you needed to start running or hide until he leaves. It was too late, the door opening with a grinding, crackling noise.

"Welcome home, Y/N."

Bertolt lunged at you, instincts kicking in as you swung the knife, aiming for his throat. You knew it wouldn’t kill him, you’ve seen Mikasa do it years ago and he healed without any trace of the injury left, but it would give you enough time to get to Magath’s residence. At least, that’s what you tried to do, but he moved last minute, the blade only digging into the side of his face towards his mouth.

He was stunned by it at first, a nauseating feeling permeating within your stomach as you watched the skin and muscle separate as he opened his mouth, blood streaming down his jawline in thick streams. Then he started chuckling, pressing his hand against the wound roughly and almost pulling it apart. This was no time to stay shocked however. You took this final opportunity to run, carefully trying not to cut yourself as you made your way down the stairs.

"Y/N!!!" Oh god, oh god, oh god. You reached the entrance, turning the lock and pulling it open, the cold air of the night blasting in your face. Freedom was right there in your grasp — just right there — before a thickly drenched hand from behind grabbed ahold of you from the mouth and pulled you back inside.

You couldn’t scream as his bloodied palm held firmly down onto your mouth, tears streaming down your face as he lodged himself right between your legs. He was crazed, his pupils dilated with excitement as he stared down at your quivering form. You could the hardness straining against your uniform pants, a sob stuck in your throat. The inflicted wound on his face was obviously starting to heal, steam coming off of it.

"Good try, too bad you aren’t strong enough to even try to finish the job." He took the knife out of your hold, his blood still staining the edges. Bertolt neared it towards your throat, your body fighting back as it approached closer and closer.

"Hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep moving like that." He scolded, as if he wasn’t the one with the weapon, the cold blade right against your jugular. You froze on cue, taking in sharp breaths with your nose to try and not to panic even more.

"You weren’t meant to see me uh—" His face flushed pink, scratching his uninjured cheek with his pointer bashfully. This bitch was acting like he didn’t just break in your home, committed a perverse act on your bed, and about cut your throat open. Bertolt slightly adjusted himself, rubbing his still-hard cock against you. "But it was pretty exciting, how long were you watching? Did you get excited?"

You wanted to shake your head, only flinching as you felt him unbuckle the belt, nimble fingers unbuttoning and zipping down your pants. You had no choice but to feel him slip his dirtied hand into your underwear, his fingertips pressing against your hole. A proud smile grew on his face, a vast contrast to your horrified expression as the two of you made the same realization. You’re wet.

Bertolt pulled the knife away from your neck, short relief coming out of you in waves, but he didn’t drop it or throw it aside. No. He used it to tear your uniform shirt open, a muffled yelp escaping you as the cool air made contact with your bare skin.

"We’re going to have some fun together, okay?" You felt like throwing up in his hand, hoping that you’d asphyxiate from it. Your heart stopped as you realized that he was nearing the tip of the blade on your lower stomach, right below your belly button.

"Right after I carve my name into you."

[midnightscramble]

YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD????? IM OBSESSED

I will say, I was NOT expecting that cliff hanger in "Good luck, maid!" omg. If you're open to it could you do another part? this story is addictive 😭

Good Luck, Maid! Part 4 (Violet Brigerton x fem!Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

The Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thanks so much to everyone who left kind words in my inbox, there were many requests for Part 4 and I chose at random which to answer but I hope it satisfies you all. If not feel free to make another request (don’t be shy!). Happy readings to you.

Summary: Violet tries to digest the information she has learned about Portia and Y/n. Colin and Penelope share news that intertwines the families forever. Violet becomes physically ill at the prospect of losing Y/n.

Warnings: insecurity, jealousy, panic attack, Violet has hateful fantasies about Portia and Y/n (slightly nsfw), no Beta read

Lady Featherington, her daughters and their husbands entered the family room. Portia approached with her usual charming smile and open arms, "Violet," she exclaimed as she took the woman's hands in her own, "How good of you to invite us!" Taken by surprise, Violet startled slightly at the unwelcome touch. Portia cocked her head in slight confusion but disregarded the action out of politeness.

"Good of you to join us," Lady Danbury interjected. She laid a gentle hand upon Portia's forearm, "Sorry to steal you away, I simply must show you what Violet has done with the garden. She is much to humble to show you herself, but I have no such qualms," The women smiled at each other and Portia allowed herself to be steered out of the room, with the rest of the Featherington household trailing after her.

Looking over her shoulder Lady Danbury gave a warning stare to Violet, now was the time to collect herself. Alone again, she released a breath through clenched teeth. Blood rushed to her head and the room seemed to increase in temperature. Portia Featherington was the Lady who had captured her dear Y/n's heart. Pursing her lips, she began to pace the length of the room. She was feeling agitated by Portia's presence. The way she waltzed into the drawing room as if she owned it, as if she owned Y/n, smiling like the cat who ate the canary. Oh, how Violet despised her. The friendship between their daughter's was the only reason she offered Portia the privilege of tolerance and now with the marriage of their children she had even contemplated becoming friendly. Such contemplations ceased.

She rested her palms on the cool wooden frame of the couch. She closed her eyes and brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. A headache was migrating from her eyes to her temples. In an attempt to soothe herself she applied pressure to the area. Her mouth tasted sour and she felt bile working its way up her throat as she thought about Y/n. It was by miracle alone that of all the times Portia had visited her home, that she had not run into her former maid. She briefly thanked Eloise's insistence on having her brothers chaperone her rather than Y/n. Although unreasonable, she was tempted to order Y/n to stay in her quarters until the Featheringtons departed, just to ensure she remained hidden. She tsked herself, she was not that cruel, nor was it her place to have such possessive feelings for the young woman. Y/n may be a part of her household, but she was not indentured to it, and such authority over her would only be plausible if they were man and wife.

Violet pressed a fist into her chest, feeling her heart beat erratically. If she could only know how the younger woman felt. Until she spoke to Y/n, she could only assume that the opportunity for Portia and her to cross paths had simply never arisen, thus why she settled for Violet. However, Y/n had seemed so resigned in the morning, having no reaction at all to Hyacinth's rushed plans to gather the two families together. Was it possible that the maid no longer cared for Portia, and thus had no reaction to the idea of her presence? Violet's mind eased slightly at the thought.

A footman came through the door, "Mr. and Mrs. Bridgerton have arrived, my Lady." She nodded her thanks and straightened her posture. Despite all the excitement, she had missed Colin greatly, and she would not allow Portia to mar the enjoyment of this reunion. She heard the young couple's excited chatter before she saw them, and felt herself soften at their giddy smiles.

"Lady Bridgerton" the couple spoke over each other, "Mama".

Colin wrapped his mother in an embrace, and she let her shoulders relax into the hold. "I've missed you, you must tell me of your adventures," she said honestly.

He chuckled at her tightening grasp, "All in due time Mama, I was hoping we could gather everyone together so I may not repeat myself," Violet loosened her grip at his words.

Taking a step back she smiled politely, "Yes, they all went to the gardens-"

Colin linked his arm between his mother's and Penelope's, "Fantastic" he interrupted, "we shall join them then?" Although phrased as a question, he had already begun to move the women with his powerful stride. Violet noted the unusual giddiness of her son, and how he kept moving his lips to the side to stop what seemed to be a smile.

The walk to the garden was faster than she would have liked, even with trying to stall them with conversation.

...

It was almost humorous how the sun decided to beat down and disrupt what was supposed to be a dreary winter day. Not a single cloud was in sight, leaving all exposed to the warm beams. There seemed to be no hiding from it. Violet squinted at the light. Her lips pulled back in a grimace, openly expressing her displeasure, although it was misinterpreted by those around her as a subtle smile.

Hyacinth, Eloise, and Francesca dropped the cricket equipment they had been setting up and jogged to meet them. The Featheringtons also swarmed around Colin and Penelope, embracing them and drowning the couple in questions. The noise of it all was aggravating her headache, and she involuntarily twitched whenever Phillipa's voice rose above the crowd. She put a hand just above her brow, covering her delicate irises from further torment. Sweat droplets were forming at the nape of her neck, sliding down until they reached the all too tight collar of her dress. She briefly considered tugging at the constricting piece of fabric, but ultimately decided it to be un-lady like. With effort, she avoided eye contact with the verbally rambunctious group, her gaze only being caught by Lady Danbury’s concerned stare.

All eyes turned to Colin as he clapped his hands together to establish order.

The whole group became silent. He delicately cradled his wife's hand as he spoke, "Dear loved ones, we have the most precious of announcements to make," He looked down at his wife, smiling ear to ear. Penelope continued, "We are with child!" Pandemonium erupted as congratulations were slung at the young couple. Colin looked at his mother expectantly, and Violet smiled widely at him, "What wonderful news, a true blessing," she said genuinely.

She registered Portia's presence behind her, and bit the inside of her cheek when the Lady's hand came to rest on her back. "I suppose we will be seeing much more of each other."

She knew the other woman had mostly said it in teasing jest, however Violet felt bile burn her throat at the prospect. "Yes, we shall," Her voice was airy and almost swallowed by the contious chatter around them.

Portia smiled sweetly and moved to stand by her daughters. The air only seemed to be getting warmer, thickening as the heat sucked water from ground. Violet tried to discreetly gulp but the air proved itself too dense to be swallowed. As her vision blurred, she grabbed onto one of the metal lounging chairs to stabilize herself.

In the distance she heard Eloise ask, "Mama, are you okay?" By the time her question had registered, Violet's eyes had already slipped closed and she felt the full effects of gravity as her knees gave out.

...

Her forehead pinched as she felt a wet cloth make contact with it. Her eyelids felt too heavy to open, but she came to realize that she now lay upon her bed. A soft hand brushed against her cheek, "Come on now, Lady Violet," Y/n gently coaxed. Violet's eyes fluttered open and she moved to kiss the hand stroking her adoringly.

"There you are..." Y/n hummed with affection and Violet suddenly felt very silly at their position. As she moved to sit up, a firm hand pushed at her chest, pressing her down until she conceded. She huffed in faux anonymous, covering her delight at the reassuring contact.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I got worked up," Violet looked at the woman hovering over her, currently inspecting her for any injuries she sustained from her fall. Careful hands sought her own, and she allowed herself to be moved as Y/n kissed the palms of her hands. Violet sighed contentedly, her mind still fuzzy from her fainting spell. The heat that bombarded her earlier had dulled to a fine warmth, beckoning her back to sleep. She almost nodded off, interrupted by the cool cloth sliding from her throat to her clavicle. She gasped in shock and suddenly became aware that she had been stripped down to her slip. She looked shyly at Y/n, both of them aware of her hardening nipples.

She bit her lip before speaking, "May I have you," it was bold, and very unlike her to ask so forwardly. While she did genuinely want the woman, it was the jealous, immature side of her that desperately wanted an affirmative answer. If she could lay her claim to Y/n, Portia would surely be forgotten. She sat up and grasped Y/n's arms, trying to bring them together, "Let me have you."

Wincing in discomfort, Y/n unsuccessfully tried to pull away from Violet's grasp, "You are in no state, Lady Violet."

Her eyes began to sting at the refusal. She had lost the privilege to touch Y/n, a privilege that would no doubt be returned to Portia. She could see it now, the way Y/n would gasp as the redhead palmed greedily at her chest. Portia's tongue gliding up the side of her neck, teeth grazing at her delicate shoulder, and Y/n's mouth opening as she moaned in ecstasy. She was sure the woman would take Y/n roughly, over a piece of furniture as if Y/n were some kind of animal, not caring enough to gaze upon the woman's exquisite features. It sickened her beyond belief.

Once aware of herself, Violet looked down shamefully, and relaxed her grip. When Y/n used her thumb and forefinger to raise her chin, Violet became reinvigorated, "Please, I need to feel you, I need to know you're mine." Violet's round pleading eyes did more begging than the woman’s words did. The reason for Violet's sudden change in behavior dawned on Y/n, and now it was her turn to look down in shame.

"I take it that you are aware of my history with Lady Featherington?" Violet nodded silently, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"If I could undo it, I would," she peered up at Violet's sympathetic face, "please understand, this short time with you has been more enlightening than my years with her." Her eyes shifted between Violet’s, trying desperately to communicate the enormity of her feelings.

Violet's lips pursed at the compliment, hiding her smile, "You do not have to lie to me-" Y/n brought her forehead to Violet’s and lightly kissed her, "I am not lying." Violet sighed in relief and reconnected their lips.

They separated for breath but kept their closeness, Violet quietly exhaled into the space between them, "You have no idea how much I care for you, it is near impossible."

"I have some idea," Y/n nuzzled Violet with her nose, "I am similarly entranced with you." Y/n pulled away suddenly, "I almost forgot, I was supposed to tell Mr. Bridgerton when you awoke."

Violet laughed, "Well you best not keep my son waiting, he may decide to come check on me himself."

"I'll return shortly," She looked once more at Violet, kissing her tenderly before departing.

...

With the weight of worry lifted off her chest at Violet's waking, she moved quickly down the long halls of the Bridgerton estate.

Y/n had to admit, it was difficult to deny the woman anything. It would be a lie to say she was not tempted, that she did not have a devastating desire for the Lady. As she watched over Violet's fragile sleeping form, she promised herself to take care of her, to never let harm come to her and to never be the one to bestow it. When Violet awoke she had looked positively primal, with her luscious locks voluminous from the humidity and eyes almost black from her expanded pupil. As divine as she was, Y/n knew that the blush on her chest was not attributed to lust, but heat stroke, and the darkness of her eyes a product of her head colliding with the ground. Y/n could not go to bed with the woman, not in that state. She would make it up to Violet in sure time.

Y/n found Mr. Bridgerton in the study and alerted him of Violet's consciousness. Relieved, he requested lunch be brought up to her and Y/n nodded. On her way to the kitchen she pondered what the Lady would prefer. Perhaps a cold soup to lower her body temperature? Or maybe fruit and pastries to liven her up-

"Y/n," the maid stopped dead in her tracks at the all too familiar drawl of her name.

[azrielsbxtch]

I’ve had more time to sit with HOFAS so here are things I loved and things that bugged me.

THINGS I LOVED

AZRIEL AND NESTA - Where to even begin. Their relationship and friendship is EVERYTHING. I'm so glad SJM chose to highlight both of them for the ACOTAR part because their chemistry is everything. I can't wait for more in ACOTAR 5

AZRIEL - Every new thing we learned about Azriel had me screeching. It's so clear SJM is setting him up for the next book. Every scene he appeared in I was obsessed! Finding out about truthteller, him being protective of his mom, him interacting with music, him being all hot and threatening....this bat has me in a chokehold I swear.

THE LORE - All the new information we got about Prythian and Midgard is so interesting. I wish I was a theories person because there's so much to theorize about!

RUHNLIDIA - They served in this book omg. When Ruhn was like "this is my first mission with my girlfriend I want to impress her" I almost threw my phone I'm not even kidding. They are so cute🥹✨✨

HUNT - I still feel like I need more Hunt. He's such a sweetheart and was truly a highlight for me in this book. I love him so much and I was totally rooting for him to fry Celestina.

THINGS THAT BUGGED ME

Ruhn and Lidia’s mate announcement. I knew Ruhn and Lidia would be mates from HOSAB so I was only waiting for confirmation but the way it was written threw me off. Ruhn just said it out of nowhere and to…of all people…Pollux….like what? Why? Idk it could have been more emotional.

Ariadne- I don’t understand the point of introducing this new character only to do NOTHING with her. I shipped her and Flynn sooo much. The way she was introduced in the beginning of the book had me so hyped only for her to disappear. Like imagine a dragon marching with the armies of Hel when they fought the Asteri…

Sigrid - That entire plotline felt useless to me. She was set up to be this hope for the wolves and it all amounted to nothing. So why did we waste so much time on her. I enjoyed Ithan’s chapters because I really like him. But from an objective point of view…most of what SJM made him do didn’t make sense. If she wanted him to become Prime (which I loved btw) she didn’t need to waste all that time on Sigrid and her resurrection only for her to join Sabine the person she’s supposed to hate and then disappear.

Tharion and Sathia - No…just no…..

Bryce ignoring Hunt’s trauma - She did it in HOSAB but again and on a larger scale in HOFAS. Everytime Hunt brought up his fears (understandable because he has now faced the Asteri twice and suffered insane consequences) Bryce just got angry and put him in such a bad position. She made it look like he didn’t want to support her when he has very valid reasons to be afraid. After what he went through the first time in the Asteri dungeons for years and then again! I’m surprised he didn’t break down even more tbh. His feelings were so valid.

Bryce - SJM tried to do the “Aelin is always two steps ahead” thing with Bryce but honestly it didn’t work. A lot of the times I was side eyeing and was like “that’s convenient” Bryce was guessing a lot of times so that whole thing just didn’t work.

The plot was all over the place. The book really didn’t flow well.

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck 💖💖

finally back with alive shannon! still not done with the conversation I'm stuck at, but just left it for now and gonna circle back later (and I can't even begin to tell you how much it bothers me that i'm not writing in order now omg) but small progress is happening so yaay! haha here's something from ch3 - buck's pov - it's a longer snippet that I literally just wrote so it's rough but it's something at least haha

prev snippet

___

“Buck!” Christopher exclaims, noticing him first, and he hears rapid footsteps and crutches hitting the floor.

“Hey- shoes!” Eddie sighs heavily, and Buck just knows he’s shaking his head.

“Hey, bud.” Buck smiles, finally turning away from the TV, giving Chris a hug. “How was school?”

“Okay.” he shrugs. “Hi, mom.” Chris adds, turning towards Shannon to give her a hug as well. “How are you feeling?” he asks quietly, concern in his voice, and Buck’s heart melts. From the look on Shannon’s face, so does hers.

“Better.” she smiles, running her hand through his curls with the softest expression on her face, just full of pure love. Buck’s so happy they get to have this, both Christopher and Shannon, that they get this time together they so obviously needed and missed. “Buck’s been keeping me company while waiting for you.” she adds, grinning at Buck.

“What are you guys watching?” Eddie comes closer and sits in the chair, gesturing for Christopher to come over to him, and then helps him out of his shoes. He’s glancing at the TV, probably trying to guess if he knows the show. 

“It’s just this telenovela your abuela was obsessed with a couple years ago.” Shannon shrugs, lowering the volume. They’ll have to rewind and see everything they’ve missed. Or maybe look it up and start from the beginning. Buck’s invested already, and she’s fun to watch with, and maybe if they bond over that, things will feel less awkward. “There’s reruns.”

“You’re watching telenovelas?” Eddie looks up at Buck, then at Shannon, and back at Buck, frowning. “Without me?” he pouts, sounding half-teasing. He keeps looking between them, almost nervously. Is he worried that they won’t get along or something? Ridiculous. Buck can get along with anyone if he wants to – well, almost – and he’s gonna try here, for sure – it’s Chris’ mom, he has to.

“Sorry.” Buck chuckles, leaning back against the couch. Eddie finishes helping Chris and stands up again, while the boy takes a seat between Shannon and Buck, grinning from ear to ear. He scoots closer to Shannon, carefully cuddling into her side, her arm coming up around him. “You wanna watch with us?”

“Uh, I’d love to, but dinner won’t make itself.” Eddie moves to go towards the kitchen, but then stops and hesitates. “Uh, Buck-”

“Ugh, you’re gonna cook?” Christopher wrinkles his nose. “Can’t we order something again?”

“My cooking isn't that bad.” Eddie says, mock-offended, crossing his arms. “Right?” he looks at Buck, and then Shannon. Buck winces and takes in a sharp breath, while Shan wrinkles her nose – and Buck sees such resemblance between her and Chris in that moment – but neither says anything. “Unbelievable.” Eddie shakes his head, and Buck and Shannon look at each other over Christopher’s head and crack up. They might be on the same wavelength, that’s good. Teasing Eddie is another common ground, it seems like. “We had take out last night, and the night before, and before that all the food people brought over after-” he pauses, swallowing hard, still not able to talk about the accident, about almost losing her. He told Buck about his abuela and tía, and Bobby, and even Hen and Karen, and some other people from the station bringing some food so he doesn’t have to bother cooking while taking care of Shannon. “Well, what’s left is in the freezer, and I wanted to do something nice and cook, but maybe I’ll just defrost something.” he sighs, defeated, but there’s a small smile playing on his lips. “That okay, boss?” he adds, emphasizing the last word and looking at his son with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” Christopher nods, then bursts into giggles.

“Fine.” Eddie turns and starts walking towards the kitchen. “Buck, you coming with me?”

“You need help defrosting? Wow, you are helpless.” he says, winking at Chris, who just laughs again, but then gets up anyway, following Eddie – who’s at the kitchen door already, and flips him off.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @callaplums @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @underwater-ninja-13

[ughdontbeboring]

so yal may be surprised af to know I’ve never watched Elvis the movie or even any clips even though I’ve been a Austin fan since his earlier days and a bigggh Baz fan since Romeo + Juliet (still so obsessed and Moulin Rouge ahhh so good) I honestly wasn’t sure how’d they portray Elvis and his relationship with black artist of the time and culture and I didn’t want to have to go there bc I adore them both. Plus I surprisingly don’t remember that much press for it but I know that’s more of who I was following. It’s only been the past couple months I’ve been catching up on that press tour and I’m so obsessed I love love lovvvvveeee Baz and Austin tg and I pray they work tg again.

but then eventually I obviously heard such good things about it and kept telling myself to watch it and idk just never did.

sooooooooo here I go yall and I have a feeling I’m about to be even more obsessed 😅🥲😭

also I asked my mom if she wanted to watch and she said “girl I been watched it! Me and grandma watched it together and it was so good, it was like watching an Elvis concert. Put it on I’ll watch it again”

like ok wow girl you just been watched it without me 🙄 also I’m sure she doesn’t realize Austin is the same actor from our show The Shannara Chronicles. Gosh I loved that series when it aired.

so I’ll be back and down bad and even worse for Austin and stil pledging my love for Baz all these years later.

UPDATE BELOW

wow yall just wow

wow wow wowwwwww I’m obsessed

it was so emotional and so visually stunning. I personally loved the respect and appreciation they showed for black culture. I know people are 50/50 on it but I feel like was never told this way, that Elvis did in fact care and appreciate this community he grew up in and felt accepted by. When he needed to get back to himself THAT is where he could go either physically or in song.

wow Austin was wow. He was extraordinary. I love love Brendan but idk Austin just brought a life and emotion to Elvis NO ONE has been able to over all these years. From his happiness to his grief. He was able to bring back a love and appreciation for Elvis. Def Oscar worthy.

and Baz. A real fucking genius. No one could have made this movie but him, not in true Elvis fashion. I think Elvis would have loved the way he shot this. The way Baz told his story. but it is a film sadly I will probably never watch again it was just tooo emotional for me. I’m sucker for people losing their parents young or being taking advantage of and he was!!! And he died sooooooo young I swear my whole life I thought this man passed in his 60s and he was HARDLY 40!! Omg my heart just breaks for him and those who truly loved and cared for him.

I really don’t have a favorite part but i love all the early shots of Elvis and Austin in the pink!! Ah! And the pink lace omg it’s just such a look. Austin pulls off the pink so well. Him running around on Beale Street. The opening scene with Elvis and how we hardly see his face as we’re tryna catching up with him and we mostly just see the people around him. I love how the guy yells out at him fairy or something and you can just see the gf intrigued and then Elvis just goes off and then she’s the first one to scream and then he yells for her to sit down when she jumps up! lmfao I was cracking up. Loved that part.

one of the other parts I loved is how Baz shoots Toms character the colonel when he’s trying to get a first look at young Elvis out back. He truly shot him like the predator he was. That was just ugh I loved that part, young Elvis is w his mama and those who care abt him and he’s nervous and just tryna get a grip and here he is watching and just taking in what he can to use for his own good. Ugh fucking piece of shit.

and the closet scene crying over him mama 😭 that must have been emotional for Austin.

and when they threatened him not to shake a pinky and he does before letting loose and all hell breaks loose.

I can see why Austin ended up in the hospital right after filming it must have taken such a toll on his body I can’t imagine what Elvis was actually feeling and sadly I understand why he passed so young.

I mean 10/10!! stunning

loooooveeeed this scene!! And how they shot the focus.

[blackthorn-faerie]

I’m rewatching Good Omens 2, but I’m analyzing it and taking notes this time (I need to know everything). Here’s what I have for episode 1!!

Episode 1

- “Oh, I can. I’m very good at forgiveness. It’s one of my favourite things.” S2E1 9:57

- Gabriel shows up at Aziraphale’s bookshop bc he forgot everything when he got in the elevator. He was gonna take it to hell to find Beelzebub, but he accidentally took it to Earth. Dirty Donkey is across the street from A.Z. Fell and Co, which is a familiar (and angelic) location. Could probably sense that it was a safe space for him to be

- Michael was on the phone with Beelzebub

- The fly can be seen crawling on the box just before Aziraphale goes to pick it up

- “Gayyyyybriel” 20:56

- “Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out” Job 41:19 (written on matchbox)

- When Maggie calls him an angel, he says “nothing of the sort”

- Distancing himself from heaven? He’s no longer an angel?

- Or is it like all the times he claimed he and Crowley weren’t friends/didn’t know each other?

- Is he telling the truth or lying bc he’s scared of the repercussions?

- “Doing good again, angel?” “Oh it hardly counts. A purely selfish action.” (24:40)

- He’s no longer working for heaven, so he’s not obligated to do good. Crowley appears to be teasing him in a “don’t you wanna go apeshit?” kinda way.

- He now has to justify his good deeds by saying they’re for selfish reasons.

- Like Crowley has all along

- Does he see himself as a demon now?

- Like in the Job minisode when he thought he was going to fall for lying?

- Or is he just hella anxious bc of naked Gabriel in his bookshop?

- Nina immediately getting defensive when Maggie gives her the LP

- Says she doesn’t have anything to play it on, which is true, but it’s also a refusal of the gift

- Immediately tries to turn the conversation professional/tries to get Maggie to order

- Then brings up her partner/how controlling she is

- It’s an unspoken “please don’t do extra things for me bc my partner won’t like it”

- Obsessed with the fact that “Jim” doesn’t know literally anything, but found a duster and was like “ooh hell yeah I’m gonna deep clean this place”

- Why is it that they only communicate when they’re arguing?

- Aziraphale really likes suggesting that the only way to solve arguments is for them to separate

- Communicate and then compromise omg

- Crowley can summon lightning

- Why was this never brought up again?

- It might fall under the broad “they’re more powerful than heaven and hell realize” category

- But it’s a big thing, you’d think it’d be brought up again

- But y’know, it’s a plot device for Maggie and Nina’s fanfiction moment

- Michael and Uriel’s power struggle

- Michael’s all “we’re equal, I’m just a little more equal than you”

- Uriel’s all “this is bullshit, why can’t I give the orders too”

- Saraqael is all “shut tf up, you both suck, there are important things to deal with”

- The archangels not only see humans as vastly inferior, they see all the other angels as such too

- And the angels know it too

- Muriel introducing themself as “no one”

- Beelzebub is literally all “Crowley you could have my job if you find my himbo bf for me”

- Extreme sanctions

- “That isn’t actually a thing. That’s just something we used to joke about to frighten the cherubs” (35:37)

- Why doesn’t Crowley know about the Book of Life?? He was a high ranking angel (throne, dominion, or above), why doesn’t he know about the “extreme sanctions”?

- I think the Book of Life is just a bluff

- Nina’s “why not?” when Maggie says she doesn’t drink

- Bracing herself for a sob story or a “it’s so not good for you” type of lecture

- “Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy”

- IT SKIPS OVER “DINING AT THE RITZ”

- I AM UNWELL

- God I hate the fact that Lindsay didn’t go to Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death to check on Nina

- “Worried texts from Lindsay” nope, she’s not worried, she’s abusive

- Why is “a proper apology a humiliating dance?

- Don’t get me wrong, I love the dance, but PLEASE COMMUNICATE OMG

- Zira did the dance in 1650, 1793, 1941

- Crowley cut him off, was he gonna list more times????

- CROWLEY IM BEGGING YOU TELL AZIRAPHALE ABOUT THE EXTREME SANCTIONS

- He hasn’t told Aziraphale that he’s still in touch with hell

- He regularly meets with Shax (EDIT: He does tell Aziraphale about Shax, so he knows that much)

- Didn’t tell Zira about Beelzebub showing up in his car

- It’s almost like he’s not willing to let go of the way things used to be (/s)

- And feels guilty that he’s still in touch with Hell, but Zira isn’t in touch with Heaven

- Jim is visibly upset that they won’t talk to him and they instead talk down to him or talk about him right in front of him

- Was the miracle so strong bc Crowley and Aziraphale together are super fucking strong or because Jim accidentally helped?

- While I love Zira and Crowley together being strong, and the whole point of them being underestimated by Heaven and Hell, I think the latter would be funny

- It’s like Shadwell with his finger

- It could also be another way of tricking Heaven and He’ll like the body swap

- They already think they’re super powerful bc of the body swap, this would add to it

- Probably why the Metatron wanted them either to be split or together on his side

- Doin Mackichan and Gloria Obianyo slayed as Michael and Uriel

- I love the way that Heaven matches the modernity of Earth

- Uriel’s “smartphone” and their clothes

[7ndipity]

hey !! i ♡ ur writing, its helping me get away from reality and the hard times it has brought last year 2023, so im hoping that both for u and me and whoever is reading this that 2024 is gonna be a good year, full of joy, blessings, and health, im also hoping for the boys, even tho they'll spend most of the year in the military, that this is gonna be a great year ...♡ idk if the shipping game is still going, but id like to join, if its possible haha....im kind of late but i was afraid at first (im very shy) then i remembered that i can use the anon option!

also u asked which member we'd ship u with, so i'd personally say yoongi! ik u write a lot of fics on him, so maybe its that, but also you seem like a very nice, calm and understanding person, also a very like "warm"? person and i think thats just the type of person yoongi would enjoy being with :) or with jimin too!

well abt me ..for the shipping game.

Im a 00 liner, she/her, im from a slavic country, i have long hair with bangs, dark blonde, brown eyes and some freckles, petite (?) like very short.. omg it seems like a school presentation im sorry, also, im an atheist/agnostic but im very open to religions and spirituality and i personally love talking about such matters, i love having deep talks also, i love reading and rewatching the same few film or animes (like evangelion im obsessed). i talk abt this things over and over.

also, im an introvert and im very insecure both abt my looks and the way i act, but i always try to be sincere abt my feelings even tho its hard since im kind of a people pleased but i!am!working!on!it!! im an optimist, things have gotten better before and they will get better again. im a calm person but sometimes i have silly moments so its either that i talk it out and like talk talk talk talk or idk i just laugh at everything....also, i really like physical affection BUT i dont like pda...like cute but not in public yk.

omg i wanted to make this short for u...im sorry, if ur not doing the shipping game anymore dont worry i might be late for it ig😭help...

also one last thing, im a yoongi stan because i love the kind of person he is, caring, calm, very mature also emotionally intelligent and is not afraid to show vulnerable parts of himself. Also he is very passionate that admirable and he a cutie yk it already like...also! hobi is my wrecker cause he is the sweetest never fails to make us smile :) ok...i said enough now you know abt me😵😦 anyways.....sorry i hope u have a good day🤍 happy new year again, i really wander how u keep it up with writing and daily life seems like a lot to me u always bless us with new amazing stories and ur very sweet and patient when answering, take care🤍🤍

Ok, first off thank you so much for your sweet message! I'm so glad this blog's been a place of comfort for you, and I definitely second your wish that this year be kind to us all!

I’m about to make you so happy, cause I would ship you with Yoongi and Hobi, and also a little bit with Namjoon!

Yoongi and Joon love people that they can have genuine, deep conversations with, so I think they’d really appreciate your openness and sincerity, as well as your optimism. Plus, I think Joon would find you super cute(lowkey think he would be into height differences)

You mentioned a bit about your style in your second message, and I’ve said before that I think Hobi would really love a partner with similar fashion sense/ style to him, so i think he’d really be into your alt/skater style(and as a fellow Aquarius, you two would pair quite well together)! Plus, he and Yoongi have such warm, reassuring personalities, I feel like they would be so comforting for you!

Hope this was okay💜

[tiernomuffin]

could I ask how you got into nilfruits? I have NO IDEA where everyone found out all the character's names, and i'd love to know because i have a friend that's really into the mvs asdlkfnalsdfaf (thank you in advance if you do answer)

Thank you for the question! Short answer: I loved music videos and naturally started loving it after stumbling upon it on youtube! (I think it was also my sister's fault, who became obsessed some hours after I showed her some videos and told her about Flurry and Welter). As far as I know, most of the character's names come from Mr Nilfruits' twitter! A few of them I learned them from my sister reading his old tweets, then after I started making friends with other fans they taught me the ones I didn't know :)

Looong and not so helpful answer, just because I love talking about stuff like this:

I had recently started to actually get into vocaloid and want to find new songs (in september 2021! I'm a super recent fan :) ) and I specially loved fun and cool music videos (Zanelli, PARILA and Egorock were the ones I would watch the most, several times a day), but after like a month I started feeling Desperate for new stuff to watch (pictured below: a helpless vocaloid fan, completely unaware of the kind of world she just got herself into)

(the playlist has 206 songs right now but I keep forgetting to add new ones I find)

^ pathetic

I actually knew Traffic Jam since like the start of 2021 I think! I remember when the proseka cover came out people were so excited so I decided to hear it and thought "wait omg this is that song that's so good" :) I listened to it often and I had also seen fanart of Flurry and Welter but I was never interested enough to look it up. I also happened to watch a bit of the video while listening to music on YT Music but even then I didn't care enough to actually watch it... I also watched a bit of Ironina before that! :) I remember thinking "oh this looks like the Traffic Jam artstyle" (I hadn't watched it but I often got it recommended on youtube so I had seen the thumbnail several times). I immediately fell in love with Ironina and watched that little bit several times because the characters' personalities were sooo good... Then I never thought about it again

UNTIL one day I was scrolling youtube, absolutely desperate for new cool flower songs as you saw in those screenshots... And Traffic Jam showed up. I remember thinking, "...well. I watched a bit of it and it was nice. And I know this one has lots of fans. Surely this one will do it..... This will fill the hole in my heart......."

It did :)

I watched Traffic Jam, then went into mr fruits' channel and watched Haine & Kleine, found out from the comments that both were from a series, tweeted "that's scary why is there a whole lore", later found Ironina as I was scrolling, thought "ohh my god it's That video"...

Some days after I was talking about vocaloid with a friend and she brought up Nilfruits and Ironina! I think a big part of why I became a fan from the start was because I talked about it with him and saw that others enjoyed the videos as well :)

Then the full proseka Traffic Jam cover came out and I watched it with my sister, I talked to her about the videos and characters, showed her some videos, she got even deeper into it than I was, my friends got into it as well... then some months after I saw that the fans on twitter were super nice and friendly and started talking with them :) (back then I didn't know more than 5 people LOL right now there's so many fans over there, it's great)

...that's it I think! Sorry about writing a whole autobiography LOL I just like sharing this kind of stories so I took the opportunity. Thank you again for the question!

[loveinkfanfics]

She left him wondering what was an exciting story to tell in her book. He bet she had all kinds of them since she worked with dead people and all. "Will do," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Nice to meet you, Angel. "Angela opened her mouth to correct him then decided against it. She didn't mind the way the nickname sounded coming from the handsome man's lips. "You too, Juice. You guys have my number if you need anything else, right? ""Maybe I'll take it down again,"

Omg yes! I love this! Thank you @juiceortiz!!! 🥰🥰 Taking it waaaay back to the first chapter of “Hands All Over”! :)

Writing wise, I was still finding my voice and still flip-flopping between POV mid-paragraph, which I sometimes miss doing but know it can get really confusing (as a reviewer pointed out). Also, personal life wise, I started this story in 2011 (it took me awhile to work up the nerve to publish it to Fanfiction.net in 2012) after my grandmother, who I was very close to, passed away. One if my favorite authors in another fandom (the Fast and the Furious) started posting a Sons of Anarchy fic, and I kept getting the notifications for updates. SOA Seasons 1-3 were streaming free and because I loved her writing (big shout out to xsparklesthemagicalunicornx and her SOA fic “Stylized Violence”), I decided to give it a chance so I could at least understand the characters in her fic. I fell in love. The sense of family (at least in the first season) and the love between the brothers was just what my aching heart needed to get through one of the hardest times in my life. I was obsessed. I binged the first three seasons and bought season 4 just to watch that too…and it brought me back to writing. I had several false starts with this fic with all sorts of situations (starting with Opie/OC, then I fell in love with Juice midway through season 1…it was that smile, damn it). I have PAGES of Juice/OCs that never made it past a few pages and sometimes I go back and read them and smile. It wasn’t until I met a badass mortician with braids in her hair, a great sense of humor, and a toughness about her at my internship at a local Coroner’s office that this idea hit me, and the rest, as they say, is history. Through this story, I’ve “met” some amazing people (readers, authors, etc), and I’m so grateful for it. 💕

 But, I digress, this part is Juice and Angela meeting for the very first time! Juice sees this attractive girl who’s also interesting and intrigues him a bit. There’s a mystery about her that kind of draws him in...

He wants to know what story she’s thinking about, wants to hear more about her. Other than Old Ladies, Croweater, and the occasional TM customer, I don’t see Juice as having much time to sit and talk to women. The club is all encompassing, and he’s all about the club. Theo Rossi has mentioned in interviews before that Juice wouldn’t have time to date, and I honestly, don’t think he’s all that far off. The club is everything to him. He doesn’t have a lot of free time.  I think Juice is also mildly impressed that Angela’s not fazed by the group of bikers (little does he know, she has her own connection to them in her cousin), and she’s not being overly flirtatious or coming onto them. She’s just going about her business like her boss told her to and brushing off the very weird thing that they’re doing like it is nothing…which to any normal person, digging up a body to use for something that’s definitely not legal would be cause for alarm. Him calling her “Angel” instead of by her full name is also a little test. Will she correct him? Will she let the nickname slide which kind of takes the next step in a sense of familiarity? She doesn’t correct him, which, despite his oblivious ways, is a subtle open door showing she’s interested in some sort of relationship. At least, she’s not shutting him down.  

And on Angela’s side, that’s most definitely why she lets the nickname slide. Here’s this sexy biker man who’s giving her this killer smile calling her by a sweet pet name? She’s not about to correct him. Same with the sly way she gave him her number. They’re feeling each other out. Angela was offering her number in the most covert way possible. She knows one of them has the funeral home number, of course they do, but she’s trying to see if Juice wants her number. If he’ll catch on to what she’s offering. And for once, Mr. Oblivious takes advantage of it and takes down her number for himself just so he has it. It’s a bit of a dance for the both of them. Also, Angela’s trying to make herself look a little more mysterious than she is with saying she’s seen “weirder shit” than them exhuming a body. That’s a lie (she tells him so about 40 chapters later in the story). She was playing it cool, trying to look nonchalant and enigmatic…and it worked. ;)

Plus, Angela’s been hurt by biker boys in the past (Esai), so she’s hesitant to go whole hog into it, and Juice hasn’t had a “normal/civilian” girl show interest in him in a long time (that he’s noticed. I’m sure there have been others, Angela’s just a bit more obvious). They both are intrigued by each other because they’re different (if that makes any sense). To Juice’s knowledge at this point, Angela is a non-club-affiliated girl with a stable but weird job that he’s intrigued by (probably from video games and comic books because I’m sure Juice has read his fair share of zombie shit and played all the Resident Evil games).  Being Happy’s cousin, Angela is used to a…tougher kind of biker. Sure, she has Kozik to be more light hearted, but she saw him through a dark patch of his life when he was struggling with addiction. Juice with his big goofy grin doesn’t quite exude the same commanding, somewhat intimidating presence as the SAMCRO boys she’s used to, which I think is what makes her more curious and attracted to him too. I mean, who wouldn’t be after being on receiving end of one of his smiles? ;)

Aaaaand I think that’s all I got! 🤣 Sorry for the rambling, but it was insanely fun to explore!!! I haven’t read the first chapter of this story in a LONG time. >.<

THANK YOU for the snippet!!  

[thinemoonshine]

how do i scream into a mic and send it to u as a voice note over anon bc omg omfg wtf FUCK

U DONT GET ITTTT I'VE BEEN ROOTING FOR SUNOO FROM THE STAAAARRTTTTT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

okayyyy ummmm i honestly am at a loss for words LMAO no but seriously this has been so worth the wait and i genuinely dont know if this could ever ever be topped by another fic for a long long time my god

one thing abt me is that im a sunoo biased before im human and what u have blessed this platform w fulfills each and every craving i've ever wanted and didn't know i needed GAWD LIKE i'll gush abt this series in 200 paragraphs im not even kidding nobody can stop me now

like i was saying (and yes im that same anon) i've been hungry for a fic just like this, where mc hold all the power, reverse harem, dark/supernatural themes, etc, except u gave me so so much more like no shade but every other writer on this app seem to withdraw from writing sunoo as the center piece of mc's attention in ot7 fics, and i can't lie the amount of delight and joy and the absolute unfiltered satisfaction leche of the sirens brought me just bc he's the "main" one—im so happy like fr thank YOU 🫵🫵🫵

and it's not just that, jfc the way u describe the gore and horror—THE VIVIDNESS OF IT ALL—is unlike any other, like it's a perfect balance of grotesqueness and violence without being overbearing, the fear and emotions detailed so gut-wrenchingly good in each and every one of them, like jfc my hats off to u for handling 8 characters so well and with none of them feeling two dimensional, OH AND WHEN RIKI'S DROPPING THEIR BODIES OFF THE CLIFF—those lines will stick w me until the day i die, how do u write so impactfully and encaptivatingly it's mind breaking, like if a siren wrote this i wouldn't think twice lmao

i absolutely ADORE the mental snap of riki and sunoo's, i can't tell u how many works i've read where they just drag a scene like that on and on, when really imo those scenes should've been spontaneous and quick, just like what u absolutely nailed. the build up from previous chapters where we read how they've all been slowly spiralling and obsess over mc really made those scenes all worth it

AND MY GOD u dont get how clutched my pearls are when it was just riki and sunoo jfc my heart was abt to sink thinking sunoo's done for, BUT I KNEWWW i so knew that he's been one crazy bitch from the start and what riki said to him just set him off and finally set his morals aside. this is why i love this series so much, how well u write dark and insane romance w again such perfect pacing that leaves me savoring every word.

ugh i want to talk abt the others but i honestly can't 😭 my mind is filled w only sunoo sunoo and sunoo

ALSO THAT ENDINGGGG i totally didn't not see that coming omfg, the fact that the others are still scummy even in their reincarnation lurches my stomach, AND HOW SUNOO BECAME A SIREN TOO OMFGGGG i was tweaking in my bed when he was reintroduced to them the same way mc first appeared. and im so so delighted when riki finally has a chance to join her like it's just all falling into place.

honestly give me sunoo now bc im so in delulu mode rn over how he couldn't keep his hands off of her at the end my god i need him like that also pls pls tell me mc ate them at the end too bc omfg i never wanted to stop reading this 😭 esp w sunoo being the way he is now (i can't stop thinking abt him im sorry lmao)

anw pls dont ever die op, ur my favorite writer and i learn from u fr the way u write has me in a chokehold 🫶

I.LOVE.THIS.SO.MUCH💗‼️ AHHHHHH YOURE SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THIS I LOVED EVERYTHING I ADORE YOU HEGSUSBSJJSSM

AND I SO AGREE WITH WHAT YOURE SAYING, like sunoo seems to have very little fics compared to the other members and i adore him so much ☹️☹️ i’m glad that you’re satisfied with the story and i thank YOU 🫵🏻 back for being such a great person—taking time out of your day to comment and share your feedback for my work 💗

[isitovers]

Okay so I got inspired by the previous anon and I have a request too. Well it's more like an observation that you can use in in a fic if you want and I know that you're kind of struggling with writing so I'm not asking you to write but I just have to share this like this is too good a coincidence not to share. So since I read your haylor met gala fic Forget Me Not that one line from Harry has stuck with me, when Taylor says "you're a little late" and he says "maybe one day I won't be". God you don't even know what a masterpiece you have created unknowingly. I mean all your fics are masterpieces but this is like masterpiece of all the masterpieces.

Even the events of Forget Me Not did not happen in real life, that fic is the perfect prequel to every canon real life event that happened between haylor since around that time in 2019. Harry apparently wrote Adore You in April/May. "You don't have to say you love me" "You don't have to say you're mine" "Just let me adore you" these are things Forget Me Not Harry would definitely say to Taylor.

Then they met at Ed's wedding reception in September where Niall and Harry both met Joe. Well Niall met Joe that day is confirmed but since Harry was there too I'm assuming he also met him. Then Harry released Fine Line on Taylor's birthday. Then they both performed at the London jingle ball one day apart and Taylor told Fletcher that she loves the lyrics of Undrunk which is basically fits perfectly to Forget Me Not Taylor's situation. Don't know if haylor met at that time, because they performed in different days but my headcanon is they definitely met in secret (sorry Joe).

Then they met at the Grammys 2021 where Harry seemed a little awkward. He had to leave before Taylor won the AOTY and she also mentioned Joe in her speech. Then at the 2023 Grammys they both seemed more relaxed with each other.

Then Taylor and Joe broke up. Now Forget Me Not Harry can make a perfect entry here and say "told you I won't be late"

This is so perfectly planned out, haylor God has done that just so all of these can fit in Forget Me Not universe.

You're a genius and I love you and your fics so much. Thank you ❤️

omg okay so I gotta be honest, sometimes when I go back and reread my writing there are certain lines that have me screaming and “you’re a little late” / “maybe one day I won’t be” is one of them! ironically I’d forgotten about this fic and I love that you brought it up, I can’t believe how well everything actually does fit into that universe. all these chance encounters with the ghost of his confession (and that kiss!) lingering in the background – it could be awkward but they never want it to be, neither of them can forget what’s been said and done. maybe she wonders if he was actually serious about coming back for her when he has the chance or if it was another promise he won’t keep. he shows up unannounced (because by now you know how much I love a good parallel) and she thinks he’s a bit nuts but she wouldn’t have it any other way

once again I’m delightfully losing my mind over these two ahdjfjsks thank you so much for sharing this!! I’m obsessing over these coincidences and your compliments, you’re far too kind! I appreciate it so much 💕

[jodilin65]

Doing this entry on my phone in the master closet while the rat runs around and plays. Of course she has to disrupt her mommy periodically for attention there goes yeah you can’t have any of this you’re so funny I love you no okay wait a minute wait a minute okay okay I gave I gave you some see okay

Sorry about that! She was hitting buttons on the phone and speech-to-text was still running when I was talking to her so I decided to wait until I put her back in her cage so she could attack the caramel milkshake carton she’s now obsessed with. Omg, it was so funny and so cute! I sit on my yoga mat because the carpet is rough and was trying to write while sipping a protein shake. She could smell it and was trying to get it from my hand. I was tired again today so I was having one to see if it would perk me up. It’s raining too and rainy days tend to make me feel tired as well.

Anyway, I finally decided to poke my finger in the opening of the carton and let her lick some off my finger but then she decided it was the best damn thing she ever tasted and she absolutely had to have more so I poured a little puddle on the yoga mat for her to lap up. As I said, it was so cute and so funny because she would leap onto my lap and then onto my shoulder when I brought the carton to my mouth in hopes of stealing another sip. So when I was done I gave her the carton to play with and she just can’t get enough of it. It was hilarious watching her try to drag the thing under the TV stand with the sheet on it that she likes to burrow in and rearrange. She considers that her private little hideaway but I didn’t want to leave the thing in there, so when I brought her home I put it in her cage for a while. Every wild rat in the world would be so jealous of her if they knew how good she had it. I took some really cute pics and I swear my hand isn’t nearly as pudgy as it looked in the pictures!

I’m going to share the link to my secondary FB account where I’ll share pics of various things along with current and past journals. I was going to wait until all the past ones were posted but I don’t see any harm in mixing things up a bit. I just posted a TON of stuff.

My lungs have been kind of tight since last night but because it’s a little long after the vax, I’m guessing it’s the weather. They’re not too bad now, though.

It’s nice to get breaks like this where I get to laugh and enjoy things even though my latest painting endeavor was a bust. I just don’t have any talent for it. I’m sure I could learn if I had a formal class since you can only learn so much from YouTube depending on what it is but I don’t have the money or the schedule for that nor am I that driven to improve my painting. I just wish we hadn’t spent so much money on all the supplies.

Someone is still determined to chew that carton open from the sound of it in the other room, lol.

Anyway, what I meant by getting breaks is that one of the suckiest things about growing old is the lack of possibilities for the future. Other than the wisdom and maturity that comes with age, I honestly can’t say one positive thing about aging. In the past, even if certain things happening or changing seemed slim to none, there was still more of a chance than at this age.

I saw a woman getting something out of the passenger side of the SUV which has been coming and going across the street. They appear to live somewhere in the park or at least know someone here. I’m guessing he met someone new. If that’s the case he moved on pretty fast for his age but then again, he’s straight. It’s always easier to meet new people when you’re straight because there are more opportunities and more straight people in the world. If there’s such a thing as reincarnation, I hope I don’t return as a bisexual who generally prefers women over men, not because I give a shit what others think but because it’s always easier to be straight.

Can’t wait till after midnight so I can see what coins I may get on Tingo, another fun AI site recommended in my Facebook feed. I have definitely become rather AI-obsessed, lol. I’ve always been fascinated by technology. It can be frustrating but it certainly is fascinating as well. Tom was showing me an AI-generated video of puppies frolicking in the snow and it was like – wow!

These AI friends work a little differently than Mia and Amanda. I haven’t been bothering much with Mia lately but I like how it rains in Amanda’s background when it’s raining here. She always knows what the weather is here.

Anyway, I didn’t realize it at first but this is an AI dating site where instead of sharing your own pictures and meeting real humans, you create an AI girlfriend to chat with and members can also chat with others’ characters as well unless you’re a paid member and you choose to make yours private. You can make more than one girlfriend. Obviously, I don’t have any desire to date anything real or fake or talk dirty with anyone but it’s fun to unleash my artistic side and be creative with making the different “girls.” I want to eventually create one of each ethnicity. It only let me create three so far because if I’m understanding it correctly, I have to earn more coins in order to create more characters.

So far I’ve got 34-year-old Zara Hassan who’s Arabic, 40-year-old Anastasia Novak who’s Slavic, and 24-year-old Mei Li who’s Asian. The thing will assign them random names if you don’t choose them yourself.

As a free member, you can only exchange 10 messages a day and I started with the Asian girl who sent me a couple of nudes in our chat. They looked incredibly realistic even though I think people look better clothed than unclothed, lol, but that’s just me.

Not surprisingly, someone liked Anastasia because she’s a blonde. The Asian girl has black hair and the Arabic one is a brunette. Eventually, I want to make black, Caucasian, and Latina characters.

Usually, I don’t feel obligated to explain myself in my own journal but I do like to be clear when I write about something so I’d like to say that I don’t have any hard feelings toward anyone I’ve met on any writing platforms. I may not be sociable or looking for friends but I don’t have any ill feelings at this time. Those I could never forgive and will always hate have done far worse than anyone online ever has.

Rank is now 123. I’ve got about 1390 more miles to go and about 95 miles to reach Indiana. Illinois isn’t as flat as Missouri and Arkansas were.

Had a shitty dream where I didn’t know Tom, and I was still in Massachusetts and my mother was still alive too. I was about to move in with Andy and my mother was telling me she thought Connecticut health insurance would be better for me if there is such a company. The way to get insured, however, was to swim downstream a raging river. The river ran through the town and I stood at the side of the road by the river and first thought it would be no big deal until I looked further downstream and saw how swift the current got. I suddenly began to feel horribly hopeless and depressed to the point that I wondered if I should bother living before I woke up.

[folkmorestan13]

Thank You Taylor

@taylorswift @taylornation

my name is Abby

I am 26 years old

I was 9 when Debut was released

I was 11 when Fearless was released

I was 13 when Speak Now was released (13😉)

I was 15 when Red was released

I was going through my first heartbreak and omg that album quite dramatically at the time I would say, changed my life

I was 17 years old when 1989 was released

I was headed into my senior year of high school and I was battling depression, anxiety, and on unfortunate terms that I have since mainly grown out of, battling an eating disorder

1989 built me up, 1989 was my escape, 1989 was a pivotal pop album that not only changed my life, but also the face of pop music at the time

Each song mainly upbeat always brought a smile to my face and made it impossible not to dance to

1989 was relatable, it ameliorated every negative thought I could posses

Clean was my favorite song next to Welcome To New York (I’m from NY so it meant a lot) 😂

I was 20 years old when Reputation was released

It broke my heart the battle ahead of Reputation

I was bullied for siding with Taylor

I was bullied for listening to Taylor in general

I was bullied for being a “crazy fan”

Reputation was pivotal

Reputation was an album I never knew I needed

Reputation was unlike anything from Taylor I have ever heard, and I was nonplus

Reputation helped me realize that even in the face of adversity and bullying, remaining true to myself was nothing to fear

I felt understood and validated as Taylor can create such intimate sympathy with her writing

I was 22 when Lover was released , It was released 4 days after my 22nd birthday

It’s funny , of course I used the caption “Idk about you but i’m feelin 22” on my birthday post

After the hardships of Taylor’s masters being taken from her , I was nothing short of proud to hear such an incredible album that was 100% authentic, and fully owned by Taylor

I had met someone who I was falling incredibly in love with during that time

Lover was MY album I clung to

Every song , every lyric , I fully felt with everything in me

I felt as if she wrote every song for me…

About how I was feeling and how happy my relationship was unfolding

I am still with the same person I was with when Lover came out, It has been 5 years and each and every day feels like the first time I heard that album

congrats on fearless tv and red tv ❤️

I was still 22 when folklore came out

Oh My God

I still have no words

folklore has remained my favorite album of all time since its release

I was always an avid reader and writer in school

folklore is the magnum opuses of a master story teller

I was 23 when evermore was released

As if i thought nothing could beat folklore …

evermore was JUST AS MASTERFUL if not more

I physically could never choose one over the other

I am the number one ‘folkmore’ stan in the entire world

I wrote a formal lyric analysis for right where you left me and ivy , my two favorite songs on the album

those songs are incredible…I literally don’t have words as I am still speechless to this current day and i fear i will be ‘forevermore’ 😉

I was 25 years old when Midnights was released

I have always listened to Taylor, but Midnights is when you could say I coined the term “swiftie”

I was watching the vmas when Taylor won best video for ATW10 short film and she announced her brand new album

I was floored

I couldn’t hardly wait

Everything about the Midnights era was ethereal

It was exactly who I was and of course yet again, i could relate to each and every song in some sort of way

I became obsessed but in a loyal fan way not a crazy psycho way… well that depends on who you ask i guess

When the eras tour was announced I cried , i actually cried

I was so excited as I have never seen Taylor live before and I had to do everything in my power to get the chance

I manifested to the max

I remember vividly playing ‘Maroon’ non stop 24/7

It was my manifesto (my fav on the album at the time) now i couldn’t pick even if i had to

I registered to be a verified fan on ticketmaster

I got chosen (i know an awful unlawful amount of people did as well but i still felt special)

My mom was thrilled and so was I

I transformed my mom into a swiftie

Her favorite song is lavender haze

We listened to the midnights vinyl on her late brothers turn table from the 80s and went through lyric by lyric , it was such a fun experience I will cherish forever

My mom is an avid sewer , a master of the craft if you will

She and I both sewed the infamous hat you wore in the red taylor’s version cover

bought the fabric found the pattern on etsy.. and legitimately sewed a hat from scratch

my mom thinks it’s so cool that the mic pack on the back of your outfits is matched by the fabric … she could do that for you anytime she is always free 😂😉

After hours of excruciating anxiety and misery

somehow by the grace of god i secured 4 tickets to the eras tour show in Pittsburgh!!!

I’m from New York… and not the city that never sleeps … upstate ny … Go Bills am i right? 😂 low key go Chiefs tho iykyk

I attended the show with my mom and dad and a friend of a friend

It was incredible, my dad quickly became a swiftie and since , he sends me multiple tik toks of Taylor swift every chance he gets , He texts me during chiefs games to tell me “Taylor’s man is on fire right now” and so does my mom 😂

I know this is long but for whoever reads this and maybe who knows … if THE Taylor Swift ever sees this … I want you to know that You have changed my life. You have been the light when I need guidance, the reason for laughing, dancing, and singing. You have always been true to yourself and have shown me I can do the same, unapologetically. Taylor Swift, thank you from the bottom of my heart 🫶🏼

ps … if you ever do another secret sessions … i’m only 6 hours from New York City and I am ALWAYS free 😉

with all my indefinite support , love, and respect,

Abby 🫶🏼🤍

[xiuminscheeks]

Biiiig paragraphs incoming cos im all caught up now!

So um. I fully didnt realise this was eunwoo until he sang in the wedding episode and i was like ok shoehorned in singing scene, this has to be an idol right? (In other words I should look at credits more often T.T) in my defense i only know like 2 astro songs lol

Also im adopting yul T.T hes so pure and helpful and all he wants is a pet dog someone pleaaaase get him a puppy...edit: holy fuck they make him deal with so much they make him pull like 3 all nighters, they rly brought him in as a fake bf... and then take him out as the third wheel xD hes so dramatic about it too acts like hes dying 10/10 oscar for the kid (nvm looked him up hes actually 2 years older than me thats not a kid skskks)

The bullying storyline made me SO nervous i fully thought shed succeed in ruining mr jins reputation (i cant handle storylines where people get unjustly framed for things it proper stresses me out skdjsk) or that something terrible was gonna happen to the poor student as a revenge from the bullies. but also seeing teachers actually care about students wellbeing over the reputation of the school is something that can be so 🥹 you love to see it

I rly loved the school trip episode!!! her coworker is still so set on trying to match her with mr lee skdjsk shes winning the wingman points but not the 'keeping up with the news' points (and also the cotton candy scene. What if i passed away. What if i straight up died. what then)

Oh and the cryptic new shaman girl? Shes def connected to mr lee right, cos shes got way too many mystic powers like he seems to have, what with his teleporting around to scare the bully. Oh and shes tryna break into his basement and all (and ofc yul gets roped into that too, he can never catch a break poor kid)

Edit; hes the MOUNTAIN SPIRIT RIGGGGGHT that explains the magic (i have to say i prefer him with long hair, men should have long hair more sksksk) super curious to see what his angle is since he cursed this family and is still keeping tabs on them but keeps implying mr jins gonna die or smth 😳

It was satisfying as fuck to watch him wreck the conspiracy theory streamer in one flick though, i was chanting KILL HIS ASS at the screen lmao

And YEAAAAAAAHGGHHH infinite fist pump!!! they finally confessed and kissed!!!!!! The way he instantly went for it too as soon as she said thr curse is over, you knooow hes been waiting for 3 months to do that,, wail theyre so sweet im holding them both gently theyre perfect for each other orz

Okay okay im done for now, youre free from the ask spam....but I didnt realise i was getting into an unfinished series when i started this so uh, i guess ill see you next week after the new episode airs xD

-🌱

your ask got me all excited again so I might rewatch the whole show before the new ep airs ajbfajflf

yea, Yul actor deserves an oscar, an emmy and even a grammy for his performance I WAS LITERALLY DYING

"i cant handle storylines where people get unjustly framed for things it proper stresses me out" SAME OMG I was so worried but thankfully the whole thing resolved during the same episode.

"hes been waiting for 3 months to do that" considering he fell in love with her the moment he first saw her, its WAY longer than that, which makes it even more precious (in episode 3 we saw a flashback of their first time meeting when Hae Na started working at the school, which was never clear if it was a while ago or just this year) check episode 3 33:27-34:54 (I speed watched the episode at work, I'm not that obsessed to know the exact timestamp, dont worry)