#this has been a very salty post
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unfortunately I have opinions about the ascendant astarion ending and I have been holding back from saying it. but it's a problem that applies to the whole game and it's been annoying me
what's actually weird about the ascendant "romance" scene is that the writer considers it a tempting option for the player. They wrote it to be bad, but they also think it's a fun and sexy option. Same goes for the haarlep scene which they also wrote that way because they find it sexy. Except finding this sexually appealing entirely hinges on the idea that the player is a submissive. So RIP to a scene that the rest of us could have found sexy because the lead narrative designer was a submissive. lmao
In this game you can have a scene where you have to kneel for a male character. But you can never have a male character do the same for you. (Halsin doesn't count. It's a vanilla scene, he is not submissive there and we are not even asking/telling him to kneel down) You don't get such options, not even if you play a drow female! RIP the number one reason for playing drow female to be honest. lol You can kneel and fully submit to ascendant astarion or fully submit to mizora or fully submit to haarlep or submit to lae'zel or submit to minthara. you can get whipped by abdirak or you can tell him "touch me and lose a hand" he even responds positively to this remark and yet the possibility to flip the dynamic doesn't exist. There is never an option where a male character truly submits to the player. RIP to a scene that would have been the opposite of the traditional dynamic. the potential that existed but they never used the opportunity
By the way, how interesting that Lae'zel is dominant but she is a woman so ofc you get the option to tell her âno you will submit to meâ. You never get such switch options with any of the male characters... Obviously it's not ascendant where they could have made that an option. My point is that it's NEVER an option among so many male characters.
It's a cool idea that the bad ending in a romance means "I saw this character as a sex object" except it falls apart when the scene is very sexually unappealing to anyone who is more dominant leaning. If I see a character as a sex object then I would place them in sexual situations which are appealing to me. so the message doesn't quite work. because there isn't anything that I can selfishly choose for myself just because I like it and I find it sexy.
#it's the old traditional setup where male characters are never submissive. either vanilla or they are dominant. and no other options exist.#I just find it a bit funny how they seem oblivious to the fact that these scenes being âsexyâand tempting entirely hinge on the possibility#that the player has the same tastes but a LOT of us don't. and then these scenes aren't even remotely sexy#don't get me wrong it's cool to have these scenes in the game but there could have been something different as well#rather than the same dynamic multiple times. and if you are super not into that then you only have the vanilla options#meanwhile the subs get multiple ''fun'' scenes. I just find this very unequal. if you are not into that well your character#will be placed into situations where characters make these unappealing propositions and sometimes it's fight or submit. that's weird imo#for a game that has storylines about consent. sexually weird scenes would be fine and interesting if it wasn't SO unequal and always the#same dynamic where they mostly give players options where our female characters should submit and NEVER the opposite I will always be salty#bg3#larian studios#baldur's gate 3#bg3 mine#haarlep#astarion#my post#abdirak#my thoughts#my posts#it's like the whole reason I like to play drow women if I am honest but it's been so utterly pointless#as a drow female on a rare occasion you may be allowed to say a barely rude dialogue to males and that's all lmfao#mildly rude to men is just what I do in real life but it's a viddy game and I should be able to be a bit of a nasty aggressive female#(sure they can frame it negatively. that's fine. but let the ''fun'' option exist for us as well)
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoyingâ#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happenâ#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spacesâ#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worseâ#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blogâ#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blogâ#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to investâ#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything elseâ#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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watching this extremely american movie with an ensemble cast and every other scene is me realising this is a character i saw in a previous scene then SUDDENLY thinking about one of those 'cDraMas ArE alWays liKE ThiS Ha HA' running jokey posts on this webbed site by its supposed fandom about how 'there are just always so many people in cdramas! so many characters you won't ever remember anyone haha!!' like buddy idk how to tell you that's not just a cdrama thing you just keep treating cmedia like it's some special alien thing. sick sick sick of it all
#posting like i'm no longer afraid. sorry it's after midnight. sober drunk AND mean salty posting into a landmine.#maybe it's all just a joke and i'm being joyless i know. but it's getting very tired and a bit. um. you know#after you see one 'innocuous' post after another and another and another. what does it say#same goes with the jesting about censorship and sanitisation of media. like if we want to be critical let's get all-rounded. b srs#ever since my first few experiences years ago. it has always been like oh those words from back then all felt uncomfortable for reasons#and i wasn't alone feeling it! the veil of ignorance over it comes off forever and you can never go back to pretending it's ok#i'm tired in every sense of the word. sorry. might revert to being a coward by the morning#my posts
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oh yeah iâve got a bunch of loz aus that i havenât really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i havenât gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so thatâs what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about
i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)
original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)
in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.
'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.
sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.
murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.
ruined hyrule 1: i have two auâs with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.
ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.
modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isnât plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.
modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.
dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.
horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.
mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.
'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.
A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:
Warrior Cats
Batman
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Persona 5
Pokemon
(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)
So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!
#i had to find an actual list i made to remember most of these tbh#salty talks#salty's loz aus#lmk if any of the colored text on here is hard to read i can change it#for some of the duplicate name aus the colors help me remember which is which but ill change it if it makes it hard to read#this took absolute ages to finish partially bc i dont have much physical evidence of these aus. they live in my mind and my mind only#my favorite little tidbit is that in the space au linebeck is a bounty hunter known for being a really skilled sniper#and i did not. in fact. be inspired by sniper tf2. this au predates my knowing about tf2. space au linebeck is inspired by fuckin#ttgl yoko littner and sao (gags) sinon. this will always be funny to me. space au linebeck is probably one of my favorite au linebecks#fun fact also. counting the crossover aus linebeck plays an antagonistic role at some point in 10 of these aus#also anyways worth reminding that a lot of this shit isnt actually very developed. the murder mystery au does not have a lot of actual plot#most of the developed plot stuff in these aus tends to be directly connected to linebecks role in the story bc a lot of these aus happen to#exist bc one day i was like hm what if linebeck was in (hyperspecific situation that led to the creation of one of these aus)#gimmick au is a really good example of how a linebeck in xyz situation thought can spawn a huge fucking story#but i cant get too specific abt that without spoiling the fucking gimmick and ive already said too much#'dark mage' au is also called that bc i think it was REALLY inspired by me thinking abt linebeck in the fe awakening male dark mage outfit#this has been sitting in my drafts for. so long. and then in two days i slammed all of those out and bam. here we are#the crossover aus list is also a list of 'media that also gave me brainworms and therefore got the honor of meshing with the Big Interest'#im not even a big time batman fan i just saw the 2022 movie and scrolled through an entire blog dedicated to harvey dent#i know so fucking much about harvey dent. why is dc so fucking bad about him#anyways welcome to the bottom of the tags. hope you enjoyed your stay. these r my weird loz aus#post-ph isnt here cuz i dont consider it an au. its something else between âauâ and âspeculative canon���
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open invitation to everyone who hates reading my tls and stuff~
#special shoutout to this one particular person who may be gaining access to my tls in a very ???? way#bc dudeeee arenât we mutually blocked? like i think they had me blocked long before i started tling bc i ship aiyuu so iâm???????#and i keep my hottest takes (esp about the [redacted] anime) out of the main tags so how are you even finding my stuff lmfaooooooooooooo#but anyway! translating is just a hobby of sorts for me and iâm mostly tling for myself and my own amusement anyway~#so if you donât like âem you donât have to read em~~~ you can always make your own tls too!! the floor is yours~~~#but if you wanna duke it out 1v1 my asks and dms are openđđđ#sorry for the weird post yâalls this has been weighing on my mind a little for the past few hours lol#anyways chuutan and asuna are the biggest salty troll moods ever ok bye#oh! and if you think this post is about youďźdw itâs not~. this person and i are mutually blocked lol thereâs no way that theyâre seeing this#âŚmaybe. hopefully. lol. but if you are dude⌠why are you here lol. didnât you block me for a reason (read: aiyuu)? why did you come baaaaack
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"I only like fanon Steve, I hate canon Steve" stay away from me lolz
#I've been very salty lately#maybe temp post who knows#âfanon steveâ translates into borderline oc who bends to the will of my fav and has no autonomy and never does anything i dislike#or else ill call is ooc#idk why im so pissed today#if anyone wants to rant together dm me cause I got the time and Im in the mood
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Though I obviously see the aesthetic similarities between Astarion and Fenris, and they do both have a history of slavery and running from a sexually abusive master, that's kind of where that similarity ends. They have wildly different personalities and goals, totally different reactions to their abuse, complete different types of overall abuse, even different fighting styles.
Honestly, who Fenris most resembles of the BG3 cast is Karlach. Karlach was also tricked into being subjected to a surgical procedure that turned her into a weapon and made physical contact with other people incredibly painful. She also aggressively pursues her abuser with the intent of killing him for her own peace of mind - which Astarion also does, but with the goal of becoming too powerful to hurt - unlike Karlach and Fenris, who both abhor that level of power and privilege as a result of their experiences and actively reject the notion.
And then when Karlach and Fenris do finally kill Gortash/Danarius, they almost immediately have a breakdown because they realize that it made them safer but it didn't make them feel better. They're still angry, still resentful, still hurting, and healing from that means more than just enacting the correct kind of violence.
To me, that's the thing that stands out about Fenris's storyline. That's his big moment of true catharsis. This freedom tastes like ashes. They both have to come to terms with their situation and find some inner peace that doesn't rely on death. Karlach's monologue after killing Gortash if you take her with you is heartbreaking, and that is what reminds me so strongly of Fenris. Not Astarion.
#bog post#this is no shade to other people and interpretations etc etc#i know i'm a salty baby about astarion/fenris comparisons#but please don't take my opinion personally if you disagree with it#i don't actually think you (general you) are stupid if that's your Thing#it just personally baffles me bc i feel like once you scratch the surface#they're made of very different stuff#bg3 spoilers#bg3 act 3 spoilers#karlach#dragon age#fenris#gonna try not to put too much DA vs BG3 content on here#this has just been rattling around in my brain for a while#astarion
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brutus: out for blood (villain au concept)
ft. neglectful yandere! bruce wayne x gn villain! reader
â masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: did anybody ask for this? no! did i decide to write this anyways? abso -fucking-lutely. is this a rantfic? mayybee. anyways, this is not my best piece nor will anything i write be my best piece but i just love destroying my happiness with angst and altho writing a very anxiety ridden mc is fun, i also love to dabble in sadomasochistic traits for a main character. like i said, i am not proud of this but i figured i should post something. erm... leave comments bec i love reading whatever stuff u guys have in store hehe.
you've tasted blood on your tongue far longer than you've felt the loving touch of a family.
it's metallic. it's salty. it twists every vein in your gut.
it tastes of broken metal pipes in playgrounds, destructive tantrums and broken dreams, of skipped classes and detention rooms, of ripped test papers and missed diplomas. it reminds you of your bitter past every single time; one you swore you've buried six feet deep into the ground. a burning memory with nothing more than heartaches and heartbreaks.
you taste blood whenever they reject your advances for even a single moment of bonding time. you feel it pumping slowly, steadily, painfully whenever you stumble upon a room, only to see them, smiles and all, huddled together in a group with junk food in their hands and a movie playing in that stupid flat screen tv. you know it's the only thing accompanying you whenever he misses another event in your school. it becomes the only friend you have whenever you're alone, inside your too-small room, with shatters glass scattered around and bruised knuckles.
blood, for most, is vile, utterly repulsive. it reeks in every corner of a room, its scent is overpowering, it stains, it's hard to clean. it imprints. and it will always remind you it's there, in the depths of your body, curdling and boiling and ready to burst out of the seems every time you rip at your skin with a razor sharp blade. blood has always been your only friend, like a scar that will never fade away.
yet you embrace crimson like it was the color of your soul, and accept how it's the only color you allow in your grim life. black has never provided you solace, but red allowed for a mantra of emotions to trail into your very being.
blood. it's more homely than you let it out to be.
and you're far more familiar with it than anything else. you cradle it like an unwanted child, you kiss its wounds, allow it to fester and grow into an abhorrent disease that crawls like a lump in your throat that you could never get rid of.
in moments of solace, of quaint prayers and hours of kneeling into the floorâ it is the thing that slides on cold, hard tiles. it is the warmth, the numbness, the thing that seeps out of your bruised knees, your scratched neck and your thighs with fingernails buried deep into flesh.
you've come to love blood, cherish it even.
especially if it's your own.
especially if it came from the punch of none other than your father.
left, right, left, right.
his punches were cruel and his kicks can easily crush bones into powder. he demands answers with every strike he delivers, he exudes an energy far more adrenaline based than yours. batman is methodical in the way he moves, the way he acts, and you're not; you're impulsive, you had no plans to counter the towering manâ no counter for the brutal hits he lay upon you. you let him, you open every doorway world to beat your body black and blue, with red painting the canvas as a finishing touch.
he's stronger than you, and every time he bashes your head into the wall, the urge to spit into his face, to piss him off, to laugh at him and his Idiocracy; it all becomes stronger.
yet all you do was allow him multiple openings, denying yourself the pleasure of attempting to even take your abandoned gun at the corner and shoot at his craniumâ you want him to suffer, even if it costs you your mobility by the near future, fuck it.
up, down, to the side, then an uppercut to your jaw and you're nearly depleted of anymore moves to counter. you want to seem like you've given up; but you want him pissed off, enough to punch you 'til blood seeps into the fibers of your mask. until your face starts bruising, until your nose breaks, until he finally rips your mask off and sees your face.
and he'll come to regret.
you shift to the side, and ignore the sting of your throat, the lull of your head and the soreness of your entire body.
because if you hadn't dodged, then your head would've left an imprint on the walls. you would've preferred that now, rather than the disgusting feeling of sentimentality that creeps into your heart at the implication that his blows were slowly, but surely, weakening.
he's holding back, you hold back a sneer.
as if he actually cares about you.
maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. you know he cares far more deeply for his enemies than he does you, and you hate how glad you are at the pride that finally, just finally are you being acknowledged. at the opposite end of his side, as enemies. but for once you can feel the care he offers others, most of which were nonexistent back when you were just some... nobody.
batman never kills; but he can hurt, he can injure, and he can destroy. and right now, you feel all the air leaving your body as the cloaked vigilante delivers the last punch to your ribcage.
you fall, on your hands and knees, a loud thump resounding through the empty abandoned building. all you hear are your crackling joints, and heavy breathing. heavy, like your eyelids, about to fall, about to shut until black encompasses your vision. if not for the remaining adrenaline coursing through your veins, you would've faintedâ but you won't, you wouldn't, not until you see him, see his face.
the thumping in your heart beats louder, and your hands. god, they feel like jelly, it's burning, it's one step closer on collapsing under gravelly concrete and piercing skin into rocks. yet you're forbidden any time for grace, not when he lightly shoves you out of your position, and not when you fall to your sides, hands paralyzed, tears prickling against your cheeks at the pain that burns throughout your body.
"you don't deserve peace after shooting that family in front of that child, you know it."
his voice, domineering, absolutely fucking vibrating with a tremor of sheer anger. he directs his words at you, without empathy, without mercy. he wants you to learn to never mess with him in the streets of gotham. but you'll never... not until he notices you. fuck, you just want him to notice you. and now, he is, with utter vexation that causes a lump in your throat to form.
shit, you've never felt so happy.
it's when his tussled form â heavy, pitch-black boots slathered with crimson liquid â enters your sight that you cough, violently, out of breath, and you can feel it one second, then taste it in your tongue the next.
blood.
you grin, and slowly, ever-so eminently, did you spiral into a cackle. your throat gurgles crimson liquid, and yet it only builds into a cacophony of a broken record. you move your head, look through your nearly shredded domino mask, with so little strength to accompany you, to look at the man above you, eyes glinting with a glow never so alive until now.
you're genuinely so fucking happy.
batman, he who strikes fear into the hearts of gotham villains and civilians alike. he who protects the city at night. he whose name is said with wavering uncertaintyâ he's looking at you, only you.
'bruce wayne: my dadâ is finally looking at me.'
and you! you're laughing, the sounds that emanate from your throat are so scratchy, so utterly decimated that it sounds like vultures feeding through a dead corpse; but you don't let your chuckles die down, because you're so, so happy.
he looks at you, with contempt, with disgust, you don't know; but you're still so overjoyed.
"y-yeah... it's me, i did it. are you proud of me...?" you ask as you look up, through the tears that flow out your eyes, through the grin that couldn't die down. he looks at you like you're insane, and you know he's confused, shifting uncomfortably as he gives someone a status update through the comms, his eyes never leaving your pathetic formâ
you look at him like he means the world all throughout.
"call for red robin, i have one of the culprits," he orders through the intangible device, eyes squinting as he takes you inâ you whose chuckles slowly calmed down, as your breathing finally becomes heavier, as blood, yours, seem to seep into clumsily made apparel. you, who bruce realized seem too oddly familiar, too small, too childish, whose moment of spiraling insanity is too damn innocent to ignore.
you're not like the typical rogue he encounters, no. and right before you finally allow sleep to overcome you, you muster the last of your energy, to stare back at him with shining eyes, expectant, and like a child's, you ask with the meekest voice.
"hey... dad, i have a surprise." scratchy, absolutely broken, yet spilling with joy, with... your last word right before you continue, bruce's heart thumps ever the slightest faster.
"take my mask off, please?"
crimson began to overtake your entire body, and bruce should've never complied with your... request, but as he kneels and finally gets a grasp of what you truly look like, he notices the frailness, the vulnerability, as if you were never built for... combat. with just how quickly you succumb to the depths of rest, with how oblivious you are to the fact that if it were anyone else, they would've killed you.
you're not properly trained, you fight out of impulse, and he knows it with just how swift you gave up midfight.
when he pulls the domino mask (which seems oddly inspired by the shape of... his vigilante partners, the robins...) off your face, did his heart finally hastened its pace, loud thumping crawling its way to his ears, his eyes registering your face: its form, its shape, your eyes, your noseâ
all similar to his, all an amalgamation of your mother's, too.
no... wait, no.
it's not...
it's not his... child?
you?
your eyes, flickering one last time stared at him, softly, like that of a child who looks at their father with pride like nothing else. your hand, it shakes, it shivers, as your fingers find its way creeping to his hand, holding your mask. fingers so dainty, now pulverized bones lay atop his shivering hand, tenderly, as if trying to comfort the very same man who has nearly killed you.
batmanâ no, bruce looks at you. at what he's done, and only now did he realize his greatest mistake. a child, his child, one whose innocence retained through heinous acts, now a villain, whose actions were all a testimony to merely wanting their father's attention.
he failed you, his child. he failed to protect you, who he has never held up close until nowâ as your body is hastily taken into his arms. so small, so easily wrapped around his body, so unbefitting of committing criminal activity. now bloodied and laid into barren ground by their very own father.
bruce wayne never felt this much terror, for nearly killing his child.
this, this day marks his sin.
and you? dearest you feel like today is your greatest day.
crimson, nearly every part of you is stained with that putrid color.
yet blood has always been your best friend, no? and right now as you bleed into the arms of your father, you find yourself grateful that it is the last thing you see before a black cloak wraps around you, before black fills your entire line of sight.
short rant ahead: another author's note??? wow. yeah this was such a hard drabble to write. plsplspls leave a comment or some sort of input. anything will do. ive been so demotivated to write lately and i feel like anything i write is just, so bad đ like is my pacing good? are the emotions out of place? am i even doing this right ?? i don't know, and i feel like every time i post something i always put up expectations on myself that I should've done better so yeahh. is this attention seeking behavior? probably. but i don't get how people have come to like the stuff i write when i hate whatever i write hence why im in a constant cycle of hiatuses and short breaks. and really, it's just so hard to come into terms with things and i need input lest i accidentally get into a year or two of hiatus, lmaoo.
#đˇ... yael's works#đ§... yael's misc.#series: again & again#concept: brutus#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere angst#platonic yandere#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n
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(unedited) captain price nsfw alphabet with p-links, đśâ¸şđ
đ = aftercare (what theyâre like after sex) : john, as i've stated before, is very touchy. he likes having his hands on you in any way that he can. so he'll pull you to his chest as the two of you catch your breath and run his hands along your body, pressing kisses to the crown of your hairline. you usually end up dozing off before john does and so he takes the initiative to grab a warm, damp cloth and clean up the mess of cum between your thighs. after he's done, he'll hop right back into bed and pull you flush to his body, sliding his hands along the expanse of your thighs and counting each beauty mark and mole along your body in the dim lighting of the room until he eventually falls asleep. [connected to this post and this one as well!]
đľ = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs) : john's favorite body part of his would have to be his hands. they're big and calloused from work and he enjoys gently grasping your hips with them when he pulls you in for a slow kiss. he also adores how much you love them as well, his hands swamping yours whenever the two of you interlock fingers with each other. now john has an obsession with your lips, for him, they convey your emotions much better than words ever could. he can tell when you're annoyed with him by the purse of your lips. can tell when you're feeling shy by the slight upturn of the corner of your mouth. can tell when you're being sassy and sarcastic with the cute smirk that'll grace your lips and also when you're feeling sad by the way your lips curl in on themselves to form a line, and perhaps that's not a body part but it's his absolute favorite.
đ = cum (anything to do with cum basically... iâm a disgusting person) : john's cum is pearl white in color and it's sticky and thick and there's always so much of it when he cums for the first time. the taste of his cum is slightly salty but it's not overbearing, you love the taste of him. price prefers to cum inside of you rather than anywhere else, this only started after john saw you holding your friend's newborn baby in your arms, it's been john's mission to impregnate you since then. [connected to this post!]
đ = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) : it's no secret that john is older than you, there's an obvious age gap and some people may sneer at your relationship (as you're in your mid to late twenties and john is thirty-seven.) during playful banters between you and john, your go-to "insult" is always, "old man", "yes, daddy." or something along those lines. and despite himself, price always finds that he's thick and hard in his pants. he won't ever tell you that though.
đ¸ = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?) : okay, price isn't the type to sleep around, he's had some occasional flings here and there, but that's about it. that doesn't mean he's inexperienced though, john puts in work. he studies your reactions and what you like. a delicious roll of his hips has him hitting that spongey little spot inside of you. licking his thumb before planting it on your clit to rub quick figure eights, has your thighs shaking and his name falling off your tongue like a prayer, and whispering lewd things in your ear and kissing you all sloppily in his pussy drunk state? has your cunt leaking all over the place. john price knows how to fuck and make love, he's perfect.
đš = favorite position (this goes without saying. will probably include a visual) : hm, john's favorite position is called the 'g-whiz' it's a stupid name lowkey but it gives him the perfect view to watch your face as you fall apart over and over on his cock. it also gives him access to your g-spot and your clit as well. three birds with one stone (he loves watching your tits bounce too.)
đ˘ = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) : it's a mix. there are times when the two of you are going at it like bunnies and perhaps bump heads a bit too hard. or maybe one of you trips while pulling off a piece of clothing-- there's going to be obvious laughter. during softer sex, where john's thrusts are deep and rolling, slow and intimate--- his gaze is always so full of his adoration for you and it leaves you breathless at times. he kisses gently, whispering words of love to you and smiling at the tears that sting your eyes. so yeah, he's a mix.
đť = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) : john, before he met you, wasn't really sexually active, and so he didn't keep up with grooming himself, there was no need for him to. he was out in the field for weeks on end at a time and when he was off the field all he wanted to do was relax and sleep as much as he could before he had to go back out for another mission. after he met you, however, he wanted to groom himself. not that you seemed to care, nor had you ever complained. but he did it anyways. so, price's hair is brown, nicely trimmed, with no scraggly hairs in sight.
đź = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspectâŚ) : please, john is madly in love with you and he himself knows it and he loves to make it known to you often, even outside of sex. price loves keeping eye contact with you, whether it's through a mirror, while you're riding him, or in any other position that allows the two of you to be face to face. he loves watching the small ticks in your expression as he grinds his hips into yours, cock sinking into you at the most excruciatingly slow pace he's ever gone. loves the way your cheeks flush and your cunt squeezes him when he calls you his, "pretty girl." this man also says 'i love you' often, and it's always so genuine, you never grow tired of hearing him say it. (he definitely doesn't kiss your chin when you give him an annoyed pouty look at his slow pace, he definitely doesn't apologize and speed up either.)
đĽ = jack off (masturbation headcanon) : i find it hard to picture price masturbating, but i believe he does so when he's away from home for weeks on end, but it's not mindless masturbation like most men are prone to doing. john, when he's away from you for long periods of time, gets almostâŚneedy?? in a way. this man misses you like no other, he misses the smell of you, your loving touches, your smile, your cooking, you pulling him to the living room floor to dance, your horrible singing when the two of you shower together and god he misses the sound of your voice. and this feeling is all so new to him and it's almost overwhelming.Â
so when price has the downtime, he calls you, it's a spur-of-the-moment call and when you pick up, he can hear the thickness of sleep in your voice; he feels selfish and a bit foolish, he was acting like a horny teenager. however, after hearing the excitement in your voice and the surprise, he can only smile and ask how everything has been at home. who would've thought that the sound of your voice, all sleepy and soft would get him hard and thick within his cargos? who also would've thought that john price would unzip himself to pull out his rigid cock, tip leaking with pearlescent pre-cum and pulsing in his large hand. yes, john ends up fucking his fist to the sound of your voice, humming and grunting softly to signify that he's listening to you, thighs tensing and heart hammering in his ribcage. i mean, what you don't know won't hurt you.
đŚ = kink (one or more of their kinks) : hear me out, roleplay, please! wait, think about it, perhaps it's not full-on roleplay but it's something of the sort, john gets a raging boner when you call him 'captain price' mockingly or 'sir'. another would have to be breeding, john wants to knock you up so bad it's almost an obsession, would love to see you swollen with his child, most definitely says something along the lines of. "good girl, wan' t'get you pregnant so bad. you'd like that, hm?" during sex. a mild voice kink? loves the sound of your voice and almost always cums instantly when you beg him to fill you up.
đż = location (favorite places to do the do) : don't really see john being too much of an exhibitionist but the two of you have had sex outside at a park, while on a picnic. you had crawled into his lap and kissed him softly, pleadingly, blinking your pretty little lashes at him and i mean; who is he to say no to your greedy little cunt? however, he prefers to do it in the comfort of your shared home. âĄ
đ = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) : your teasing. whether it be playful or sexual it always riles price up. it's one of the many things that he loves about you, your sense of humor. and you express it well, not just through your actions or your words but also through your eyes, they're always so expressive and glittering with light mischief that he can't help but sweep you off your feet, throw you over his shoulder, and carry you into the bedroom.
đŠ = no (something they wouldnât do, turn-offs) : hurting you in any way, there are some things he's a bit lenient on if you like it; like choking and light slapping but other than that, it's a no for price. man loves you too much to do anything of the sort.
đŞ = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) : as much as john loves having his cock buried down your throat, watching as you stare up at him with tear-stained cheeks, your mouth and chin covered in spit and his cumâ he enjoys eating you out. he loves the taste of you on his tongue, loves to overstimulate you, loves to control your orgasms, loves to hear you beg and roll your hips on his tongue. if john could he'd spend the rest of his life buried between your thighs, large hands gripping the fat of your hips to keep you still as your thighs quiver and your pussy pulses from being too sensitive, he would. well shit, i guess that should be one of john's kinks too then, huh?
đŤ = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) : price is usually slow and sensual, with fervent deep strokes, tender kisses, and whispered murmurs of love. what can he say? he loves showing that he loves you in all that he does. however, on the days when he comes home after a mission gone awry or being away for a long time in general, he's gonna be fast and rough; using your body any way he pleases. on days like this, he prefers you in 'doggy style' or even the 'mating press', and immediately gives you cuddles afterward though, telling you briefly of his mission as you run your hands through his hair. âĄ
đŹ = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) : hm, john isn't one for quickies, i mean he doesn't mind a quickie, the park sex that the two of you had was a quickie after all. but i believe he much prefers proper sex, that way he can pull orgasm after orgasm from you and take his time as well.Â
đ
= risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) : john is down to try something at least once, especially if it's something that you want to try. not too long ago, you handcuffed price to the bed and edged him until he had literally begged you to let him cum, it was quite the sight and he's down to do it again.Â
đŽ = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they lastâŚ) : give this man two good rounds, and then he's tuckered out. however he doesn't mind if you're still reeling to go, he'll pull you onto his lap and let you ride him until you're sated. or even make you ride his face, he could never deny you anything after all.Â
đŻ = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) : y'all hear me out once more....vibrating panties. rahhhh, hold on hold on. you guys use it when you're out on walks, at restaurants and sometimes even at dinners with your friends. man gets bricked up at the sight of you squeezing your thighs together, breathless and completely out of it. however, in the bedroom, price is all you need, the man is much better than any toy.
 đ° = unfair (how much they like to tease) : teases you often, whether it be with overstimulation, ruining your orgasms, or even having you beg him to let you cum. the man, believe it or not, likes to see your eyes water and your lips pout. loves that he can get his sassy, fiery wife all squirmy and pleading with just a few strokes of his tongue.Â
đą = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) : john is not shy, he'll tell you how good you're making him feel, not with just his deep, guttural groans, but also with words. price is the king of dirty talk and he does it unknowingly, he most definitely curses when he's moaning as well, drawn out 'fucks' and at when your pussy squeezes him tight, he'll say. "shit, sweetheart y'r pussy s'made for me." calls you the lewdest names known to man, but says it so lovingly that you can't help but be turned on even more than you already are.
đ˛ = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) : has definitely had you suck him off while underneath his desk while on a computer call with laswell. poor baby, his face was pink from holding in his moans, especially after you buried him to the hilt down your throat. totally didn't get caught or anything.
đł= x-ray (letâs see whatâs going on in those pants, picture or words) : the picture speaks for itself. âĄ
đ´ = yearning (how high is their sex drive?) : you guys, price is 37, atp? he's 40, it may not be as it used to be when he was younger but! he puts in the work and most times tires you out before he tires out.
đľ = zzz (⌠how quickly they fall asleep afterward) : it takes awhile for price to succumb to sleep, no matter how tired he is. so it's usually you falling asleep first. he lays there, holding you close and running his hands along your back and then further. he'll drift off to the sound of your slow breathing and the steady rhythm of your heart. âĄ
૮ Ëâ°Ë á ĘłáľĘˇĘł âżáľáľáľË˘ : the full alphabet! ahem, i enjoyed doing this
#call of duty smut#captain john price#captain price#captain john price smut#captain price smut#john price x reader#writers on tumblr#call of duty#cod mw3#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#call of duty modern warfare#cod modern warfare#DADDY PRICE#captain price x you#deunmiu dessie#bravo six#domestic fluff#domestic john price#husband john price#domestic soft john price has my heart#nsft alphabet#twitter links#cod links
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ââââââăâ° KINKTOBER DAY 3: đđđđđđđđđđđ
title: sweet dreams synopsis: watching the man you love deny himself of his needs, you take matters into your own hands. or lips, to be more precise. [1.5K] cw: established relationship, service top!reader, somnophilia, body worship, nipple stimulation, masturbation (m!receiving), oral (m!receiving), choking (gn!receiving), hair pulling, overstimulation.
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Some people give, some people take.
The world is a very complicated place, but itâs been a long time since you understood the balance is meant to be broken. Few rejoice youthâs spring, and only because most suffer the harshness of winterâs duties.
Kento knows that too. He saw spring escape from between his fingers as blood warmed his skin and worries filled his mind. A renowned soldier aware of the stupidity of the war he fought.
And he canât ignore it. He tried, it would be so much easier to go on looking only at the path ahead of him, but Kento canât. Isnât that one of the reasons why you fell in love with him? Because heâs good. Because he cares.
Kento became the person that couldâve saved him once his youth rotted. Damn, Kento became the person that wouldâve been able to save you when yours faded. He gives, wholeheartedly.
You only wish he would take something for himself too.
How many dreams have he chose to ignore? How many desires have he gave up on? For a man relying on the believe people are fundamentally entitled to have time, Kento doesnât appear to have noticed how badly he deprives himself of it too.
The creak in the mattress made your eyes flutter open. âKento?â, you babbled, fighting against your heavy eyelids.
He sighed. âIâm sorryâ, Kento whispered. His body involved yours, his cold lips leaving kisses on your bare shoulder. âGo back to sleep, amor.â
You faced him, fingers intertwined with his golden locks. You stroked them, nails scratching lightly his head. Kentoâs arms tightened against you. The tension on his body was palpable.
Curtains closed, your phone away so you would need to get up in the morning to turn off the alarm, the lampshade forgotten in the bedside table: you could still see his exhaustion. You felt it in the way Kento couldnât let you go. You heard it in his deep breath. And smell it in the salty air, a subtle suggestion that blood was washed away.
âWas it bad?â
He hesitated. âAlmostâ, Kento said.
Your nails moved to his ear. Lightly, you caressed it. Your thumb followed the line of his jaw, the delicate valley of his lips, the veins of his neck. âI can make you forget about itâ, you offered. You moved closer, leg sliding between his thighs.
Kento said nothing. Your knee found his crotch, pressing against it. Moving your open palm against his chest, you made a mental note to be good and soft. Your man had enough of rough for the night.
Supported on your elbow, you gave your warmth to his lips. A sweet kiss, innocent as if you couldnât feel his cock hardening. Kento opened his lips, you almost taste the toothpaste.
And then he turned his face away, depriving himself once more. âI want this. Youâ, he sounded almost apologetic. As if he did something wrong. âBut Iâm so tired.â
 You moved your leg away, a deep sigh escaping from Kentoâs throat. You took his hand from your hips, massaging his fingers as you led them to your mouth. âDream with meâ, you kissed each of his knuckles.
Kento chuckled. âI always do.â
He went back to hugging you, eyes closing as Kento adjusted his head on the pillow. You scratched his head, and continued even after he told you to rest.
Kento was really tired. He didnât even call you stubborn.
You admired him. It was so dark, but your eyes still couldnât look anywhere else. Such a sweet man. Always strong, always ready. The hand that executes is the same that holds you with care. The man that keeps on breathing out of rage wouldnât dream of showing you anything but his love.
If there has to be a majority suffering, if this needs to be a rule, then you want Kento to be with the few. You wouldnât mind feeling all the pain alone. As long as itâs his.
And now, already deep asleep, you can still feel him. Half rigid against your tummy. Kento Nanami, a man so used to not have what he wants. Your man, ever the sweetest, never taking what he desires.
So, if Kento wonât take, youâll give to him. Wholeheartedly.
Your body is his. No complains from Kento will convince you that bleeding in his place isnât the right thing to do. No pain will stop you from fighting battles alongside him. No tiredness will ever make you think twice before using your domain so he can heal properly.
Your mind is his too. When you look at Kento, all you do is wonder about his needs. Gazing at his eyes, you look for signs of exhaustion. At his thin cheeks, you plan healthy meals. His clothes make you turn on or off the heater. No sickness can get to him before you already know what medicine to buy.
His clock wouldnât agree, and neither does Kento, but he owns your time too.
Slowly, you moved away from his embrace. The mattress creaked again, and you waited for him to say something. Kento couldnât have noticed it less.
Your fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt. Putting the soft fabric away, you revealed his torso. Surrounded by darkness, you knew where to kiss every scar. One day youâll draw stars all around them. Your nails explored the skin of his body, every line and curve remembered carefully by your mind.
Gently, you pressed his nipples between your fingers. You licked them, feeling as they grew rigid, and sucked on them. Leaving a glistening trail of saliva behind, you kissed his whole chest with open mouth.
You kneeled on the mattress, catching your breath. Stretching, you turned the lampshade on. If Kento wakes up, you want him to see how willing youâre to make him feel good. You know heâll enjoy the sight as much as you love being seen.
Pulling down his boxers, you grabbed his half-hard cock. You pressed your thumb against the rosy head, biting your lips at the feel of him. A baffled grunt made to your ears.
You couldnât wait any longer.
Placing a kiss over the head, you brushed your nose against his growing erection. Holding Kento, you sucked his heavy balls. The sound of it in the middle of a silent night made you feel like a sinner.
Hell doesnât seem like that bad of a place now.
You licked his length, losing your mind at the muffled sounds he made. Making out with his head, you drooled over him. What a mess you were making. What a mess your mind was.
Oh, Kento. Such a giver. Always so careful. How you want to break him. Make him fall apart for you. To get Kento crying, begging for all his desires to come true. You would do anything he wanted. If only he would ask you.
Lost on your own fantasies, you chocked on him. So eager. You pumped his cock wet with your drool, so hard between your fingers, and prepared your jaw.
As you took him in, the tender flesh stretched you. Salty against your tongue. You chocked again, but this time you simply continued. With tears forming in your eyes, you devoured him.
You didnât even notice when Kentoâs eyes fluttered open. When the small grunts turned into sensitive moans. When he tried to move, half present and half lost in a sweet dream.
âWh- â, his fingers grabbed the sheets. Kento moved his neck, the sudden motion burning his wounded back, and looked down. âOh, fuck.â
Looking at you, eyes closed as you took his entirety into your mouth, Kento shuddered. His body fell on the pillows, hands grabbing your hair without a worry about not being gentle. He couldnât think. Kento couldnât do anything but feel.
His hips moved on their own, his mind nowhere to be found. Kento whimpered, eyes closed so hard he could see blurs all around. Was he dreaming still? It feels like one.
Deep into your throat, feeling it gagging around him, Kento cried. Sobbing, tears feel on his ears. It was too good, too sudden. His legs were shaking, his throat burning. Lost in a dream, unaware of how his fingers forced your head down on his length, Kento panted your insides with his thick load.
You didnât allow one drop to go wasted.
After his high came to an end, Kento noticed he wasnât breathing. He opened his mouth, trying to get as much air as he could. His throat ached as Kento gasped, surprised by the sweetest kiss he ever received.
âIâm sorryâ, you whispered against his lips. Stroking the golden locks, you kissed his chin and cheeks. âGo back to sleep.â
So Kento laughed. Like a maniac. âYou areâŚâ Dizzy eyes glared at you, his mouth left hanging open. He smiled. You couldnât see, but you heard it. He left kisses all over your face. âDream with meâ, he asked.
âI always doâ, was your response.
Was the truth.      Â
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in post-ph specifically a really old idea ive had is that linebeck is extremely, extremely possessive of his coat, but if in a situation where he fears he might actually die, he gives it to the person he trusts to save him, or he gives it to someone he cares about that seems to be on the brink of death
#its not permanent unless he dies. which he doesnt in any of the cases of this happening#at the end of the day its like a symbol of his immense trust and respect for the person and a sign that he really thinks hes not making it#bc otherwise you cannot touch that thing. rn i really only have one scenario with this with link damien and bellum each#linkâs is the one where hes afraid the other person will die but hes also afraid hes going to die at that moment its a whole thing#other cases are if he thinks he wont be able to get out of smth without it being damaged or if he just wants it to be safe#theres a bit where he has to be separated from the crew for a bit so he preemptively gives it to damien for safekeeping#generally if linebeck hands his coat to someone its a Bad Sign. something is very wrong#bellum is the only one who understands the gravity of it when he first sees it bc like. hes been in linebecks mind he knows the abstract#idea of how protective linebeck is of it. and he has no idea how to feel the first time linebeck gives it to him. its a warm feeling#with damien its a mixture of terrified and dutiful he understands it as being trusted with it and makes sure to keep it safe#he understands what the coat means to linebeck just not on the same visceral level as bellum. link also has a good idea of how much#linebeck cares about his coat but its filtered through being a slightly mischievous kid whos tried getting to it before. when hes actually#given it or sees linebeck hand it off the first (few) times hes really scared and a bit confused until the idea clicks for him#this is an ooooold idea i think its from back when post ph was mostly going to be a 50 chapter thing using a 50 word challenge list#if anyone remembers those. this shit originates from middle school. the olden days. before damien existed#i like linebecks coat being an item tied to his identity its what he wants its something he finds comfort in its something he made himself#salty talks#post-ph#this might carry over a little to some other aus but these situations dont really happen the same was as they might in post ph
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đđ
đđđ đđđđ
đŠđđ˘đŤđ˘đ§đ : boyfriend's best friend Hwang Hyunjin x fem reader
đŹđ˛đ§đ¨đŠđŹđ˘đŹ: you should've left your boyfriend sooner considering the man of your dreams, his best friend, has always been there for you... but the faithful event you were hoping for finally occurs and you find yourself at his house, in his arms, in his bed.
đ đđ§đŤđ: angst?, smut, fluff, aquaintances to lovers
đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: cheating (but not really, you'll see), reader is in a toxic relationship, explicit descriptions of sexual acts, unprotected sex (it's sexy but use protection babes), fingering, pretty vanilla.
đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 6.4K
I have a thing for sex while it rains, it seems... and like this I post something after months. I'll work this storyline in the future too for Hyunjin, but for now, enjoy!
It's strange how sometimes we believe to be in the right place to later find out we were living in a lie, a product of our fervid imagination, just to not accept reality and the fact that life, or even our past self, played a good and structured not-so-funny prank on us.
These lies we tell ourselves most of the time are a response to our awful experiences, but they can become harmful in numerous types of ways, and we should learn that instead of letting us be tempted by sweet beliefs. When we find ourselves facing reality it's hard to accept it, it's ugly, but ugly things are part of life and we should try and accept them nonetheless, they may reveal themselves as lessons or the best things that happened to us, with various meanings to that.
What pisses people off the most is the "waste of time". And that's how you feel too, like the rest of humankind, angry because you wasted time. You would very gladly prefer to be in the denial stage of the whole thing but it's so evident that you can't even pretend to be doubtful, to question what you saw, to give him a chance to explain himself.
The car is still cold even if you already reached the destination that popped in your mind right after what happened, salty tears adorning your eyes as they cross your freezing cheeks, collecting under your chin, falling on your scarf. The same damn scarf he gifted you after your first two weeks of dating, the one you didn't even like at all, the color you hated, a dull pattern over it⌠the urge to pull down the car window and throw it outside in the middle of the parking lot soon becomes reality. Wind starts to rise a bit, and you see it dance on the wet concrete for a while before a car passes over it and plasters it on the ground.
Ironic, right? You feel a bit bad after the impulsive gesture, but he didn't hesitate to make you feel the same, so, "screw it".
You shouldn't even be here. You should go to your own best friend, sitting on her way too low couch with its broken springs and cry your eyes out as she yells at you her usual "I told you so!" and "You're an idiot, I knew it from the start!" even if what you really need is comfort, and not to be scolded like a twelve years old while she offers you chocolates and tissues like in some chichĂŠ romcom.
That's why Hyunjin's place is just few meters and five floors away from you now. You're actually hesitant to get out the car but when you see your boyfriend's text appear on your screen, asking where are you, it's suddenly not so difficult to take your things and rush to take the elevator, and when you send Hyunjin a message telling him you're in front of his apartment he's quick to open the door. He doesn't say a thing, he doesn't even dare to, he already knows.
He delicately takes your hand in his and guides you inside with a saddened smile, his eyes soft as they watch you attentively trying to search for your tears. God, he wants to kiss them all away, he never wants to see you like this ever again, but he thinks it's probably not the last time⌠is it? Either way, he'll do anything he can to make the redness of your eyes disappear.
"Go sit on the couch petal, relax for me, hm?" he says in a hushed tone to not provoke your impending outburst. When you're finally hugged by his cushions you feel his presence behind you, his hands going on your shoulders to free you from your heavy coat and bag that he places on his forearm. When he reaches for your scarf his fingers are suddenly met with the cold skin of your neck and a startled "oh!" escapes from him because of the unexpected touch, making you giggle. If only you knew how his heart starts beating faster whenever he hears you like thisâŚ
"Where is your scarf? You always wear it, were you in such a rush to leave it at your place?" he's now lowered near your face, breath tickling your cheek as he adjusts your jumper on your shoulders ăź the stained one you only wear at home, you didn't even change, how embarrassing. He touches you like frail porcelain and little bumps start to rise on your skin where traces of his touch linger, you wish his fingerprints could bruise your skin.
"I threw it in the parking lotâŚ" you explain, looking at him trying to not make your lips touch while doing so.
A laugh that comes from his chest slowly builds up as he lifts himself and reluctantly distances from your face to go place your belongings on the hanger at the entrance. If only he knew how your heart twists in excitement whenever you hear him like thisâŚ
Hyunjin doesn't come back to you immediately. He always makes sure you have enough time to think by yourself first, to gather your words, to decide if you want to cry or yell, and then he sits beside you and goes along with anything you've come up with. It's always been like this until today, every time you came to his place after something happened between you and his best friend, every time he had to gather your broken pieces and try to put you together again. He doesn't know he's always done that beautifully though, making a breathtaking mosaic out of you, making you so splendid and wonderful anyone could say he's your creator.
You hear a distant rustling in the kitchen, the clicking of the bottles in the fridge as he closes it with a thud, two glasses colliding it seems, and his slippers sliding on the floor, approaching you.
"You're lucky petal, I have your favorite today." he proceeds to place the glasses on the way too elegant coffee table and pour the drink with all the calmness in the world. Time with Hyunjin stops. You think that every second spent with him is never wasted.
"I like this clip, it compliments your hair color." he says suddenly, snapping you out of your trance. How could he notice such a thing?
"Really? It's the first time I wear itâŚ" you still mumble a bit, too shaken to let your voice take its natural timbre. Hyunjin laughs again, handing you the drink and carefully sitting so as to not spill everything on his expensive carpet. His body is completely facing yours, knee against knee.
"It's not true!" Hyunjin takes a sip and giggles at your confused expression.
"You had it the first time we met, too. It was perfect with your dress and necklace. Do you really not remember? You looked beautifulâŚ"
What Hyunjin refers to is a random saturday evening of autumn. What day it was, what you were wearing, what you did before meeting in front of the restaurant, you can't remember⌠but what you can vividly recall is the stinging sensation of the first cold breeze of the season on your cheeks, how crunchy multicolored leaves swirled on the sidewalk, and the city lights beginning to be turned on a bit earlier than usual. Now that you think about it, it was around this period. You remember what perfume you wore, paying attention to what type of impression you wanted to give to your boyfriend's group of friends that you were about to meet for the first time, and you even remember what mascara you decided to use.
But what remained tattooed on your bones the most are the first ten seconds of Hwang Hyunjin taking possess of your vision, because you felt incredibly sick.
If you close your eyes and concentrate you can almost feel the same emotions, when your stomach swirled like it was a washing machine, your head light, and your legs almost giving in making you trip while standing still.
You felt incredibly guilty, disgusted with yourself, disappointed, a monster. Why the hell your first thought was "he's my soulmate" and not something along the lines of "nice, my boyfriend's best friend" you still don't know. Call it destiny, call it sixth sense, you immediately tried to suppress it all.
It didn't help that Hyunjin's slender fingers delicately took your hand to kiss your knuckles with his oh, oh so beautiful lips like an ambassador of chivalry itself, his siren eyes looking up at you sweetly but confidently, making you blush like crazy ăź you later blamed your flustered expression to the restaurant's excessive heating.
On top of that, your boyfriend decided to sit at your side leaving Hyunjin in front of you, so you had his ridiculously handsome face in sight for the whole night as you ate your stupid california rolls and tried to elegantly slurp your noodles ăź for as much as something like that is even possible.
You talked, a lot, even if you felt your face heat up at every strangely seductive giggling sound he made together with the little bumps his shoes would land on your naked ankles, toying with your heels from time to time. You had so much in common, and after that you only felt complete when he was near you.
Your boyfriend did catch on with the new dynamic though, so unfortunately considering how jealous and a bit possessive he is, you and Hyunjin didn't see each other as often as you expected after that, but you really didn't grasp that it was because he wanted you apart at first, just a series of unfortunate coincidences.
Hyunjin parted from you with a tight hug, lingering his hands on the smaller of your back, adjusting your shawl over your coat and twirling a strand of your hair behind your ear, the moment never fully leaving your memory. He was⌠perfect, really just perfect, and you couldn't help but feel nauseous when you got in the car with your boyfriend to let him accompany you to your apartment, the thought of another man being more suited for you making you feel like you were cheating. You only felt relieved when you talked about all his friends during the ride and he revealed that Hyunjin is "a bit of a player, y'know, he flirts with everyone and he has those french manners, but he's always been like this." so you thought that maybe your feelings would slowly fade⌠but they always, always rested down the bottom of your heart, even if you pushed them away forcefully, almost violently.
No one knows you two meet up from time to time now, because one time you found yourself crying in a corner on his shouler. No one knows that you always seem happy and carefree only because you talk with Hyunjin, because he comforts you when you need it without complaining. Not that it needs to be a secret, but you both are well aware that it may result suspicious to meet with your boyfriend's best friend late at night, best friend's girlfriend from his side.
And the fact that you two always seem to attract each other like magnets, so close, with instant connection, it doesn't let thoughts stray further from the idea of something tender existing between the two of you, everyone can see it.
It's just that it's prohibited. Or, to say it better, you were too caught in your lies to even contemplate the idea of leaving your boyfriend and Hyunjin simply didn't want to betray his "friend". But when you started to message him asking for advice, when you later had long calls together, when you crumbled in his arms crying almost weekly, he wasn't so sure about having a best friend anymore.
"I⌠you really think I was beautiful?"
Your question comes from the heart. The mixture of the memories of that night and his proximity makes heat rise on your face, shyness visible from the automatic action of your teeth catching your bottom lip and your gaze straying from his face to linger on the glass in your hands. The bubbles of the drink fizzle on the surface and for a moment or two that's all that can be heard in the room.
"You're always beautiful, y/n. I told you many times." he says cautiously, putting down everything to wrap his hands around your wrist.
"I don't know how he doesn't make you feel like you are, I don't know why he treats you like this but, petal, you're an incredible woman," he lowers his head to look into your eyes as he tries to explain himself further, "smart and strong. He's an asshole and you should stop doing this to yourself."
Does he know? Does he know what your boyfriend did? Probably not. Hyunjin would never hurt you, he would've immediately told you. You want to make sure though, in case everything that involves Hyunjin is a lie too.
"Why are you his friend then? Why do you keep coming to our house and have dinner as we fake not knowing each other like we really do? Why do you keep on hanging out with him? If you really think he's terribleăź"
"Because I want to protect you."
His reply is fast, cutting you off. His stare bores into your eyes and drinks in all of your feelings, like he can see them displayed in front of him. A few seconds of silence fill the room and you suddenly gulp down your drink until the last drop, sprinting up from your seat and escaping his intoxicating presence that's almost engulfing you.
Hyunjin doesn't say a thing. He waits, he can sense that something big happened this time and fuck if he's going to kill his "friend" after this. You were never this silent, you usually would storm inside and throw yourself on him⌠for as much as he dislikes seeing you like this, he's grateful for your presence, for the feel of your body against his, the trust you put into him. He doesn't do all this just to be a rebound, he already knows part of him is yours and vice versa, so he's simply waiting. Everyone considers him being a romantic man, but really, he just believes in destiny. When Hyunjin first saw you every cell in his body started to boil, goosebumps rising down his nape, the world destroyed itself and was reborn before him, it's impossible that it didn't matter at all.. That was the day he realized he didn't know what "love" meant before.
He watches your silhouette get near the big windows that face the road, little droplets of water striking them. The sound of the rain reaches your ears only when you notice the detail, and soon you see how much water is actually coming down from the sky, your scarf already soaked and dirty laying alone between various cars. You take a deep breath, thinking about your next words, a way to tell Hyunjin what happened without sounding pathetic as you concentrate on the mesmerizing foliage outside, reds and oranges and yellows decorating the city landscape.
"He accidentally left his phone at home since he rushed to his office, I don't exactly know whyâŚ" you started to explain, hands fidgeting with your rings, heavy breath obstructing your throat, "and I heard a notification so I went to check right?"
Hyunjin slowly gets up and approaches you, his warmth radiating behind you now, hands resting on your shoulders and caressing them as he listens and slowly gets closer and closer until he's hugging you.
"So, petal? What was it about? Did you find porn?" he tries to guess, but when you shake your head as a 'no' a cold chill goes through his back. Oh, oh noâŚ
"It⌠it was a message, a very sexual one, coming from a saved contact, I don't even remember the name." you pout, looking down almost in shame even if you're not the responsible one. Maybe it's the shame of having a cheater as a partner.
"I opened the chat Hyunie. They've been sexting for months and from what I could grasp they even met few timesâŚ" you can feel tears start to form on your waterline again, a deep ache inside your chest rises when you finally say it out loud. One thing was to acknowledge it, another was to tell everything to the man you've secretly been in love with for a year already. What were you doing exactly all this time?
"Am I really not good enough for anyone, Hyunie? She's⌠she's so different from me⌠Am I really a disaster as he says? Why would he do that to me? I've always been a good girlfriend, I even ignored all those mean words and his being immature and the shitty sex!! I put aside my needs to make him happy thinking I was the problem!" you turn around to face him and you're met with his serious expression.
You expected to find him at least slightly surprised by your sudden show of emotions, but he's calm, he radiates calmness. Hyunjin sighs and looks in the distance behind you for a second, blinking ever so slowly, his touch traveling up to cup your cheeks and wipe your angry tears with his thumbs.
That's the final stroke, the gesture that makes you sob and bury your face in his chest to hide.
You aren't broken yet, it's almost as if Hyunjin is physically holding you together. He's trying to smooth the new sharp edges that formed around your heart to not let it be isolated, while hugging you he's working hard to let it be still approachable to receive and give love, he's trying with all he has to prevent a horrible plague that's trying to approach you.
You hold his shirt between your hands, tightly, you're afraid you'll ruin it but you can't stop, you need to ground yourself and try to be strong, but it's so hard to not let him sway you around the room, lullying you as he hushes you and lets his fingers comb your messy hair.
"Leave him."
You freeze.
Did he really say that? Hyunjin never said it out loud. He did make you understand his vision about the situation, he did suggest it with hidden phrases, but so explicitlyâŚ
"It's time to let him go, don't you think?" he presses his lips on your forehead, continuing to mumble his real feelings, "You don't need someone who mistreats you petal. You deserve better." he closes them in a kiss that leaves a mark on your soul, making you gasp.
"Hyunjin?" it takes a lot of strength to look up at him. His eyes seem less gentle, brows forming a frown that's not his usual playful one, a bit scary even. The mole under his eye is contracted and his mouth is curved in disgust, just enough for you to understand he's furious.
"Why donât we put an end to this farce? He didn't even deserve you in the first place, you don't love him, stop doing this to yourself y/n. There's someone who's the right one, for sureâŚ" his tone is desperate, but you want him to say it clearly. You can't help it, if it's to be sure or to satisfy a need you've been having for a while you don't know, but you want him to say it loud and clear.
You know that if he says it now everything will change and it'll be scary as fuck, but if that's a premise for a better life⌠maybe it's not as scary as you think, it's Hyunjin after all, the man who's looking at you in adoration.
"And what man could possibly want me at this point?" your voice is shaky and uncertain as you tease the confession out of him.
Hyunjin looks away and smiles, a bit frustrated. He wipes another tear away from your cheek and then places his hands on your waist.
"Me?" he fakes the question, smiling softly; "Be mine y/n."
Breath gets caught in your throat as he finally says it. It's wrong that you waited for it, it's wrong that your first instinct is to say yes without thinking about it.
"Hyunjin Iăź"
"Ooh don't say you don't reciprocate, petal. I know you too well." he interrupts you, his hold a little tighter. Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, few strands of black raven hair following the motion and slightly covering his eyes. He's beautiful now, even more than in any other moment you've ever been with him. Hyunjin is the most beautiful man in the world and he wants you.
Your phone starts ringing. It's a strange moment to realize your ringtone is kind of cringe, cutting the tension weirdly⌠but you can't laugh, not right now. Both you and Hyunjin know who it is.
He's right. You should put an end to all this and start to think for yourself, about what you really want, need. This is not wrong. To love yourself isn't wrong, and Hyunjin makes you feel like the person you want to be.
"Do you want to pick up?" Hyunjin takes his hand under your chin again and directs it up to make your eyes meet his, gaze frenetic as he tries to not look at your tempting lips. Everything will depend on what you decide now. And you think quickly, under pressure, and you don't know if it's a good idea or not but you shake your head and hold him tighter, hiding again.
"Y/n, please look at meâŚ"
The phone eventually stops ringing and silence overwhelms you when you can hear his fast heartbeat right against your ear. And it's because of you, it's for you, your heart starts to adapt to his and you almost feel pain in your chest. It's too much, too muchâŚ
Ah, that's it.
You get on your tiptoes to pull him down by his collar and make your lips crash together.
Hyunjin drags you towards him as if you kissed thousands of times before, immediately, tongue slipping into your mouth as you grant him access, making it run along yours. You hold his shoulders trying to search for your lost balance and he's quick to walk you towards his bedroom, he isn't even slightly hesitant.
The desperate sighs you two let out add into the sound of your first kiss; it's a relief, something you didn't imagine to need so badly. Hyunjin pushes you further into the room until your legs meet the mattress and you fall on it guided by him, a knee starting to press beside you as he cradles on the bed on top of you. He can't stop kissing you.
Hyunjin clumsily reaches the lamp on the nightstand to turn it on and oh, oh if this is even better than any fantasy he's ever had⌠seeing you panting with that flustered expression, your legs already crossing beneath him, jumper half lifted up, your hair all disheveled since you quickly reached for your clip and threw it somewhere in the room. You just look breathtaking in his eyes, even more than any other moment he's ever thought about it. He has to let you know. You didn't think he'd turn on the light but maybe you can put aside your shyness for once if it means having this type of gaze reserved to you.
Your hands try to reach his shirt to pull him out of his trance and he resumes his kissing, hands flying on your sides as they slowly, painfully slowly slide down until he's hooking your pants. Hyunjin lowers down to press chaste kisses on the little part of your cleavage that is exposed, going down to your stomach, then your belly, until he darts his tongue out to lick a stripe just above your groin, leaving a longer kiss there while he proceeds to undress you.
The way you feel embarrassed when you remember you're wearing plain, white cotton panties⌠but it's honestly sending him haywire. The fact that you didn't expect to end up like this, a confirmation that you didn't plan anything to happen, it's making Hyunjin even harder in his confines. You're so wet your juices dampened the fabric, making it almost transparent, and he sighs at the faint outline of your cunt now puffy and pulsing⌠and he still has to touch you properly.
Hyunjin is honestly the same. You can't see it but waves of excitement run over him so violently he physically trembles and his legs give in from time to time.
âI'm gonna fuck you so good you won't dare to come back to himâŚâ it's whisperes, almost as if he's accidentally thinking out loud but it makes you clench. Hyunjin's fingers start to tease you on top of the fabric, seeing the wet patch getting larger and larger. You can't believe this part of him exists⌠how many things do you still have to learn about him?
Hyunjin keeps on touching you there but this time he starts flicking, snapping his fingers where you're most sensitive, the tingles that start to make you jolt are strong and they make your breath sharp.
âH-HyunjinâŚâ your stuttering voice slightly higher as you call for him, he rolls his eyes back.
âHyunjin pleaseâŚâ you can't help but pant, wrapping your hand around his forearm to try and make him slow down. Is this what those stupid magazines talked about? That sex feels better when you do it with someone you love? So fucking true.
Hyunjin feels on cloud nine. He starts paying attention on your neck tenderly but still with open-mouthed kisses as his fingers subtly slide your panties to the side. âYeah petal, let me hear you, let meâŚâ his words get lost as he concentrates. Ah, it's uncomfy for him. Hyunjin lifts your legs and carelessly slides your underwear off with a hiss, his eyes closing like they've been blinded by the vision of the Virgin Mary for a second, then maniacally staring at your bare cunt, digits caressing your wet folds mere seconds before plunging into your entrance.
You can only let out a choked moan and push your head back onto his soft cushions, that smells just like him. You're completely surrounded by his presence when his scent is all around you, his fingers move smoothly to work you open and his mouth is now latched around your nipple, his forehead pushing your jumper further up. When the hell did heâŚ
âIs it good?â his voice displaying signs of fatigue, urgency and need buried deep inside him. You know his fingers are long but God if they can reach otherworldly places. It's not the in-and-out motion but the brushing of your g-spot that makes your legs close around his sides and poke his ribcage with your knees; he doesn't mind, your tits keep him occupied enough to make him mindlessly keep going. Hyunjin decides that prefers your chest covered in love marks over any art piece he's ever seen these past years, so nothing can disturb his work in progress. Maybe the work itself.
ââS good Hyunie, HyunâŚâ it's difficult to breathe, it's difficult to think straight as the bumps of his fingers touch your insides so precisely, as if you've always done this and he already knew your body by memory.
âDid his fingers ever make you feel like this? Hm?â
The question makes you sigh along with a moan. You shake your head.
âDid he ever kiss you like I do?â and Hyunjin kisses you again as the movement of his fingers fastens. His teeth catch your bottom lip and his tongue slides against yours before he sucks it, drool making it shine where you two meet; passionate and euphoric, it feels like experimenting fireworks. You follow his lips when he detaches, but he just smiles and starts pressing his thumb on your bare clit. âTell me, petal.â
âN-noâŚâ
Hyunjin feels it, the way you start clenching around him, hard. He almost can't move anymore. So he whispers, just above the squelching of his palm spreading your wetness.
âWanna go to Heaven with me, y/n?â
How, how can you say no? You need Hyunjin, even more than oxygen right now, he already has you completely. Your hands hurry on the button somehow miraculously keeping his pants together, and you reach his zip and pull the fly, that struggles to slide down ăź he's too full.
âWanna try how a real man makes you feel?â
You nod almost too eagerly and he chuckles within a whiffle. Hyunjin deprives you of his fingers despite your whines of protest and spreads your juices all over his face, tongue swirling on his hand. A low groan comes out from him, his touch moving to your hips where he squeezes, plush skin bending under his grip. It's all in contrast with the look in his eyes as he stares at your face, your reactions, as if you were the most adorable thing he's ever seen.
You're so distracted that when you feel something poke your inner thigh you gasp, and can only stare⌠his cock springs free from his confines altogether, long, slim and leaking, underside vein pulsating under the pads of his fingers as he pumps himself few times, precum dripping on your groin. Hyunjin's eyebrows are knitted together as he grinds between your legs, his still sticky hand moving your lower body closer so that he lifts you back up to wrap his arms around you, hugging you ever so gently.
His full lips kiss your cleavage and he curses under his breath because of his choice to not take all your clothes off but there's not much time anymore. You close your fists on his shirt, the lines of the fabric changing their shape under your hold while you wait for him, subtly writhing impatiently.
âHyun please hurryâŚâ not once in your life you've been this desperate for a man to fuck you. It's not because of the wait, not because you're horny, it's just that it's Hyunjin.
âSay it.â his eyes are darker, but they shine with the yellow-ish light in the room. He clears your forehead by adjusting your hair away.
You know what he's doing and it's nothing different from what you did before, in the living room, so you're more than willing to satisfy his request. You try to regain a bit of composure and steady your breath before speaking up, his head twitching together with every movement of yours.
"I want you, Hyunjin. I want you, please.â
A big bright smile spreads on his face as his head drops low, in disbelief. Hyunjin didn't imagine those words would have such a strong effect on him but here he is, blushing and trying to hold back a giggle. When he looks back at you he's serious again, eyes piercing into yours.
âI'm going in, hm? I wanna hear you scream my name through it all. Is that clear petal?â
What you'd give to hear him call you petal until the end of time, he says it and it's like dripping honey, he says it and you melt. The warm pool of pleasure in your belly tightens again as you say a shaky âyesâ. You're his delicate, fragile petal.
His tip rests just before your entrance for a second while he takes a deep breath, breaching you gently. It's not a big stretch but his veins are already making your eyelids flutter and your lips part. Inch by inch, Hyunjin makes sure you feel his cock going deep, concern showing on your features as he doesn't come to an halt. He does, eventually, but the time he took to do it seemed eternal. âOh my- Hyunie-â
âBet my dick feels better than his,â he smirks between the kisses he's leaving under your jawline, âI bet mine's longer too.â
His comments only add fuel to the fire. He's bigger, he's better, the curve of his cock lands exactly on the spot that makes you black out. As you remember that you're technically still in a relationship your phone rings again. It's a distant sound, it's in another room, covered by yours and Hyunjin's sighs and moans, but he hears it too. Hyunjin stops every movement, hips against yours as he's fully inside you. He lifts himself up just enough to check on you. You look at him too.
You don't exchange any word, there's no need to, because you both arch your lips upwards and meet mid-air for another kiss, tender but messy as he moves backwards to get a starting point to his thrusts. The ringtone eventually dies making room to the faint dripping of the rain outside.
You feel warm, squeezing his cock just right and he's sure he will never let you go, never let you change your mind.
âPussy âs so tight petal, was made for me, âm sure,â and he starts moving with consistency, picking up a pleasant rhythm, âyou're so fucking perfect.â
His necklace is cold against your skin as he keeps on holding you flush against him, as well as your rings leaving icy lines on his back when your hands slip under his shirt and hold onto his shoulder blades. Hyunjin throbs inside you, drawing loud moans out of you that someone will for sure complain about. He thrusts harder, faster, every second that passes and you can only call for his name, yours being whispered by him against your skin making you shiver.
âWaited so long, so fucking long-â a guttural sound interrupting him, âsince that time at the club, wanted to make you mine.â he mumbles, words hardly making sense but you decipher them anyway and when you realize what he's talking about the confused memories of it flood your mind. You, swaying your hips in front of him, grinding your ass on his crotch following the music; Hyunjin's hands right under your breasts guiding you together with him, his breath fanning on your neck, drying your tears completely as those three drinks made your head light enough to not care about any problem you complained about minutes before. It was just you and Hyunjin, all this would've happened sooner if a series of coincidences didn't happen.
âYou would've let me take you in the bathroom, isn't that right?â Hyunjin asks, not losing concentration even for a second. âI wanted to bring you here, and fuck the sadness away. Every time, y/n, I wanted to tell you to forget him and be with me.â
You feel him stretch his arm between your bodies, and you feel your swollen bud stimulated again, you both whine against each other.
ââM with you now Hyunie, want only you, âm yours babe.â
He's so fast now, the snapping of his hips moving you up and down the mattress⌠your words affect him on a visceral level.
âI choose you, I'll leave him for you-â
âFuck!â he's close, so, so close and your walls tightening more and more and more are making him go crazy. Little beads of sweat decorate his forehead, a caramel-like smell coming from him as the crown of his head dampens and some hair stick to his forehead.
His tip keeps abusing your sweet spot, the kiss you share is feverish, your nails dig into his skin and his hold bruises your soft one. Both your bellies contract and before you can process it you're coming, white pois pattern creating over your blinding vision. You say his name out loud, dragging it together with your last moan as the hardest orgasm ever washes over you. Hyunjin pulls out just in time, copious white ropes of cum landing on your stomach like dripping art. Hyunjin loses track of space and time for a few moments as he comes down from his high, then takes you close to him when he lays next to you. Your heavy breath fills every other sound in your ears as you get comfortable hiding in his muscular chest. Your body spasms, all energy left your body already and your chest rises and falls frantically.
Hyunjin caresses your cheek and kisses your hair. It's peaceful. You just had sex with your boyfriend's best friend and it feels peaceful. It starts to feel a bit cold so he grabs the soft sheets near him and covers both of you.
âWhen will you tell him, petal?â
The question floats in the air for a while. You start playing with his necklace, making it dance between your fingers. He starts to worry a bit, when you don't answer him, but he decides to be patient, like always.
âAfter we eat something, I'll send him a text.â you seem resolute, and he's convinced. âCan I stay here tonight?â
He's a bit taken aback, his eyes narrowing in surprise: âWasn't it obvious? You'll stay here from now on anyway.â and he says it so naturally, you think he's thought about this moment a lot⌠it makes you smile.
Hyunjin rolls to the side briefly, taking some tissues to wipe yours and his stomach since his sticky cum was still there, and kisses the tip of your nose adjusting your jumper back to its original place before sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his phone, after finally freeing himself of his shirt. His back is slender yet defined, long, his spine making a beautiful curve. Your eyes travel from his nape to his glutes, the ones of a dancer. There's a doubt still in the back of your mind, you need to make it disappear.
âAre you⌠sad, that you can't be friends with him anymore?â
He doesn't even bother looking at you to answer, he keeps scrolling on the delivery app searching for something you may want to eat, the words he's about to say seeming obvious to him.
âWe haven't been friends for a while already. I understood he's not the guy I met years ago, he changed, and I don't like to be around him anymore. Don't worry petal, it's not entirely because of you, I already wanted to part from him but you came into our lives so I endured it some more to stay with you⌠and it was worth it.â one of his hands shifts position behind him and taps the covers to signal for you to hold it. Your fingers interlace and he looks at you over his shoulder, slowly turning around, his body twisting slightly as he leans back again and kisses you sweetly yet still with some need.
Your breath is now steady, you're relaxed and it feels like Heaven, just like he promised.
"Pizza?"
You giggle and he follows.
âI love you y/n. I love you.â
#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x fem reader#hwang hyunjin fanfic#hwang hyunjin drabbld#hwang hyunjin imagines#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin fanfic#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin smut#hyunjin drabbles#hyunjin x female reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids x female reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids smut#stray kids drabbles#stray kids imagines#skz fanfic#skz oneshots#skz x reader#hyunjin oneshot#hwang hyunjin oneshot#skz smut#skz imagines#skz drabbles
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The Hunger Games d!ck analysis post because i have severe brainrot rn
Warnings: d i c k
Finnick âThe Peacockâ Odair
Finnickâs cock is an average length but it is so PRETTY- itâs tan like the rest of him with a slight tone shift towards the tip and no particular curve. Thick enough to give his partners that little stretch when he first pushes in
He has a neat patch of curly blond pubes above his cock, probably no treasure trail
The skin is silky and very pleasing to run your tongue along. He has a sensitive spot on the underside near the base. Use that information as you will.
I feel like he cums a lot and it tastes good. He seems like the type of guy to eat a lot of fruit
Haymitch âThe Alcoholicâ Abernathy
Longer than average but a bit on the slim side, hisďżź dick is lined with veins and the head gets purple when heâs close to cumming. Has an upwards curve that hits all the good spots
I donât see him as the shaving type, so he probably has a good amount of hair on his belly and thighs
His depression makes it difficult for him to get in the mood, but when he is, he has good stamina. Heâll make the session worth your while.
He produces a good amount of cum, but it probably doesnât taste very good cuz of the alcohol. Heâs aware of this though, and prefers to finish outside the mouth
Cato âCareer Girlâ Hadley
A bit shorter than average but makes up for it in other ways. Decently thick though! There is a vein running up the side of his shaft thatâs most prominent at the base
Sensitive at the tip and loves getting head, his cock blushes a pretty pink color when heâs hard
Shaves as often as he can manage because the hair is uncomfortable in his training gear back in district 2
He cums suddenly (though not prematurely) and gets embarrassed and a little upset when someone mentions it. Yes, heâs tried to fix it. No, he hasnât been successful.
Peeta âBakerâs Boyâ Mellark
Another smaller than average lad, but anyone who doubts him will quickly learn otherwise.
Values the warmth and connection of sex, itâs like heâs trying to meld himself with his partner and never leave. The heat of his skin quickly takes over the mind of his partners and theyâre left in a puddle of orgasmic affection
His cock blushes red when he gets worked up and itâs very fun to stroke (especially when he feels safe enough to make some noise- the whimpers will melt your heart)
He cums a normal amount, but it leaves his mind mushy every time. Eyes unfocused and everything. Something tells me heâd want to finish inside but heâs wary about doing so. Cum tastes sweet and a little salty (almost like if trail mix were a fluid)
#the hunger games x reader#thg x reader#the hunger games headcanons#finnick odair x reader#haymitch abernathy x reader#cato hadley x reader#peeta mellark x reader#the hunger games smut
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Kinktober Day 10 - Kim Jennie x M! Reader
Kinktober Masterlist
A/N: I know I said that day 10 would be Twice G!P, but shit happens and I wanted to post Jennie today in honor to her new release.
You hate summer, that isnât a secret to anyone. But you have to admit that some good things come with the hellish heat that has been hitting the city these days. The air conditioner on your small apartment is broken and makes the place feel like a sauna, not even with all windows completely open you can stand this demonic summer.
Under these conditions even an easy task like doing the laundry became a true challenge. At least the freaking tiny laundry room have a grid wall that allows air to flow from the exterior, making it more pleasant than the rest of the house. Still the heat was making you sweat a lot, or maybe it wasn't just the hot summer.
The room was tiny, yes. And almost didn't have space for two persons standing inside, but what about a person standing and another sitting on the washing machine? And both naked, that saves a lot of space. If you add to that that the persons are very close till the point that they can feel the heat on each other's skin, that saves even more space. Those two persons obviously were you and your girlfriend Jennie, who got distracted from the task of doing the laundry.
The bad idea here was to get naked to also put in the washing machine the clothes you were wearing, and were completely soaked in sweat. At the very moment you saw the svelte and very sexy naked body of Jennie, your shaft came to life and one thing led to another. Now she was sitting on the washing machine with you between her legs, and your dick inside her.Â
Hot and salty sweat was covering both of you, even with the air that flowed between the wall, even when you were moving at the rhythm of the washing machine cycles. But instead of making it uncomfortable, that layer or sweat makes things naughtier and pleasant to you. In some way it was just another of your fluid mixing. Also that makes Jennieâs body more slippery to your touch, making it easier for you to run your hands over her skiing. Touching here and there, squeezing her boobs, or caressing the back of her neck. Your hands fly over her skin thangs to the sweat.
Her legs were crossed behind your butt, trapping you there, preventing you from sliding your shaft out of her. But that idea wasn't even close to your mind, all you can think now is keep stuffing your meat inside jennieâs wet and warm pussy. The only heat you love, the only heat that makes your heart run like an engine fueling the muscles of your body to pleasure Jennie.
Your flat tongue ran from between her perky breast to the sweet spot of her neck, collecting all the salty sweat you can. You're cleaning your girlfriend while fucking her and making her sweat even more. Jennie is a mess and you donât know what is more wet. If her skin with all the sweat, or her pussy with her own slick and your precum.Â
You wanna clean her back. Run your tongue over her shoulder blades, over her low back and between the crack of her ass. Your mouth turns into a cascade of saliva when you imagine the taste and smell of her sweaty asshole have right now. But on this position you canât put your tongue there, all you can do is keep senseless fucking her and licking her neck and breast.Â
The old washing machine protests under Jennieâs weight and the force of your trust. The artifact began with an erratic movement when start to shoot the water in the pipe in order to rinse the clothes it had inside. Jennie feels that movement to her core and her center flood with more of her own juices. Sheâs moaning like crazy and you're groaning as well, probably making more noise than you should. But a noise complaint is totally worth it when you are having this dirty sex. When youâre able to lick Jennieâs sweat from her boobs or her armpist while fucking her like an animal.Â
You put a finger between her buttocks, playing with her soaked rear entrance at the time you kiss her on the mouth. There is this salty and wonderful taste mixed with your saliva that drives both of you crazy, making this more naughty and pleasant. Sheâs a freak, your freak, and she loves how you even worship something so dirty like her sweat. But how could you not when everything about Kim Jennie is so perfect, even the salty smelly fluid that is emanating through her pores.
The sweat also acts like a lubricant making your finger very slippery and allowing you to insert it on her asshole. Now youâre fucking Jennieâs both entrances, and the way sheâs moaning and how her hands are practically crawling on your back tells you she is enjoying it. Sheâs even drooling over your shoulder, surrendering herself to the absolute pleasure of being fucked on this naughty way.
You put another finger on her ass while your hips are smacking herâs, and the washing machine began the dance og it last cycle. It is like an earthquake, or a big freaking vibrator that makes Jennie collapse. Between your shaft deeply buried inside her pussy, your fingers playing with her asshole, the movement of the machine, and your tongue licking her body she can´t take it anymore.Â
Her pussy exploded covering both of you not only on sweat, but also on Jennieâs slick. She crye out of pure pleasure while her pussy sprinkle you with another of her fluids.
Maybe after all summer isn't that bad, because it is the only season when you can enjoy this kind of twister form of sex. Maybe after all summer isnât that bad.Â
#blackpink#blackpink smut#jennie#kim jennie#jennie smut#fanfic#kinktober 2024#kpop smut#Jennie x reader
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stuck with you â windblume !
ËËË profiles ´ËË
yn â main vocalist which makes you the most popular member. you go viral every other week for getting into petty arguments on twitter and weverse with scaramouche. should definitely learn media training because you tend to rant about him too much during lives. âcompilations of scaramouche and yn bickeringâ are super common. youâre also the only member to release a solo album which gets you guys a lot of new fans. became an idol after being a trainee for way too many years, which is why youâre salty about scara debuting so quickly when he became an idol trainee after you. [đ°]
xiao â main dancer. choreographs a lot of the dances if not all. very introverted in public but talkative in behind the scenes vlogs with his group. xiao stans have it hard because this man hardly posts anything. fans call him the dad of the group because heâs always sneaking food onto everyoneâs plates and keeping them hydrated during practice. when you guys first debuted everyone thought he was mean and cold when really heâs just a quiet sweetheart. has a tattoo sleeve that the fans havenât seen the entirety of yet, jungkook vibes in that sense. most expensive photocards after you, the one of him in cat ears and winking goes for hundreds. [đŚ]
lumine â leader of the group and one of the only responsible ones. strict about keeping everyone on schedule and trying to appear presentable at music and award shows. tries to drag you all to the gym at five in the morning but to no avail. she vlogs her gym routine and whatever member she dragged that morning is usually seen in the back sitting on a yoga ball the entire time, talking as she runs miles on the treadmill. always setting trends for workout routines and makeup looks. once it touches her face it sells out. her twin is also an idol so they both do a lot of tiktoks and videos together. it siblings. [âď¸]
fischl â one of the lyricists for the group. so chronically online. sheâs always active at odd hours of the night and interacting with her fans. posts the most too, so fischl biases are always full with content. wears an eyepatch as part of her idol persona, and still manages to perform with it on. will do book club livestreams where sheâll talk about her current favorite book with her fans for two hours or more. lumine has to shut the live off everytime because she will just keep yapping. [đŚ]
venti â writes most of the group's songs and runs production. most unserious member and should really attend a public image class because he does not know how to be a celebrity. fans are constantly finding vapes in the back of his photos and videos of him drunk at award shows. went viral once for showing up to a music show high off his mind but still managing to perform. will dye the ends of his hair different colors every comeback from his fanâs requests. loves to go live and sing covers for whatever people ask for. he does qnas and takes the tmis too seriously. [đą]
yoimiya â visual and vocalist, will bring out her guitar during concerts a lot. the only member who will go to the gym with lumine. became an idol because she used to busk in her hometown and got picked up by your manager while she was on vacation. would be the type of idol to adore fancalls and do decorating photocards on livestreams. gets invited to a lot of variety shows and was probably a judge for a survival show at one point. [đ§¨]
windblume âone of the idol groups underneath sakura entertainment, a six member mix gendered idol group known for their whimsical and indie comebacks every year. think of txtâs brand when it comes to your guysâ style of music. have been a group for about three years. members range from 21-22. their debut album Temptation got them to their popularity today. fandom name: bloomies
stuck with you !
masterlist â next
for my nonkpop fans the emojis are their assigned ones for when people post their livestream quotes, will make more sense later đ and weverse is basically twitter but just for idols to interact with fans
tried not to describe yn too much because i want it to be inclusive, any photos showing yn are just to depict the pose! not gender, race, or body type đ
spent way too long making custom instagram templates and for what help so pls look at them xx itâs so u can visualize what these 2d mfs wud look like in this au
pls lmk in the masterlist comments if i can use ur username and make you a fan in the au!
synopsis â after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and youâre on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesnât matter to your managers as long as the showâs ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!
notes â itâs my exam week so all i have to give you is profiles for now </3
taglist is closed!
taglist â @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @sheraeera @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @kitsuvil @iheartpieck @crystalcrys @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @crucnhice @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @scarasmood @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @lilachasawesomehair @xxrexx
#stuck with you smau#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x reader#genshin smau#scaramouche texts
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two wrongs donât make one right
pairing lee heeseung x fem!reader synopsis mistakes always happen, whether you mean to make them or not. but itâs not a question of âdo you like heeseung?â anymore, itâs more so: âwhy do you like heeseung?â. or in which, two wrongs just donât make one right genre college!au, slight fluff, angst, established relationship word count 3k+ warnings cursing, crying, toxic relationship between heeseung and reader, implications of a professor x student relationship, heeseung is implied to have possibly cheated, reader cheats w sunghoon, everyone is of age, bitchy & manipulative characters, reader is insecure, small mention of smoking weed, lmk if i missed anything else lyn speaking itâs been 2 months since i last posted anything oh myâŚ. erm! hereâs a little fic before i disappear again lol <//3 i donât condone anything that happens in this fic or any of their decisions!!!! main masterlist
reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
The weekend had rolled by faster than you could blink. One second, youâre rotting away in your room and the next, youâre hopping on one foot in front of your mirror, hastily getting ready for the day because youâre running 30 minutes late to your 10am coding class. Youâre usually the type to wake up earlier than your alarm, but you were staying up way later than you usually wouldâve the night beforeâ staying up late to talk to your boyfriend of 7 months, Lee Heeseung.
Known to be the academyâs most influential guy, Lee Heeseung was, and still is, quite the character. Simply calling him influential would be a grave understatement though, because he descended from a family of powerful politicians and businessmen, even having the biggest corporation in all of South Koreaâ Lee Techâ as part of his familial pedigree.
Itâs no secret that he has the entire world at his fingertips, and at any given moment, he could burn it if he wanted to.
But like how everything else in this world is unfair, Lee Heeseung wasnât just disgustingly rich, he also inherited his motherâs celebrity looksâ evident in his sharp features and overly charming personality. He has girls constantly eyeing him left and right, up and down, even when youâre around.
You went into this relationship knowing full well the certain costs it had to your own happiness and well-being. In the 7 months youâve been seeing each other, youâve never felt so insecure in your entire life. And despite his constant reassurances, you know that he couldnât even begin to imagine half of the battlefield you were facing.
No matter how much you try to deny it, you were subconsciously fighting for his attention against people who were born to be at the same status as he isâ in terms of wealth, power, and looks. You always hated being born into a grassroots-level family, but you knew that being salty about your birth-given circumstances would change absolutely nothing. So you worked hard as fuck to be able to get into such a prestigious university. You threw the entirety of your youth away to be able to be the first in your family to go to college, and here you are, barely hanging onto your scholarship because of some boy you met at a party almost half a year earlier.Â
Theyâre only admirers, he said. It was just you and him, he said. You just needed to trust him, he said, but thatâs something easier said than done, especially for you.
âRunning late again?â The security guard monotonously inquires. Heâs seen this exact scene about a thousand times and more with other students before you, so heâs chopping the late slip and handing it back to you like clockwork, but this time with a small smile, one that didnât reach his eyes. It was as if he had a good day but not good enough to warrant the toiling of doing such a challenging task.
Not that it mattered to you anyways.
You ducked your head in an informal âthank youâ before hurriedly leaving the stale office and into the hallways.
The hallways always seemed unending whenever you were running late, the rows of windows you ran past would multiply tenfold and the clockâs hands would run faster than it usually wouldâ it felt as if time was warping everything within its reach.
Finally, the running reached its stop. You bent on your knees to catch your breath, the late slip crumpling in between your fingers in the process.
One.
Two.
You counted.
There was no reason to panic. Just walk in, hand the slip and sit your ass down. The visual in your head was clear and it somewhat helped to calm down your nerves. So with one last deep breath, you turn the brass handle and walk in.
Youâre so damn dramatic.
The doors creaking reverberates in the small auditorium, easily catching everyoneâs attention. You gulp down the lump in your throat as you watch your professor pass you a look of disapproval. It made your heart drop, because you were his best student and you hate disappointing people who expect great things from you. Your let your gaze angle towards the carpeted floors, making your way to the seat closest to the door.
When you feel as if youâve disappeared into your seat, it was as if you could breathe again. You were finally away from the spotlight and peopleâs unnervingly curious eyes ceased trailing your every move. You should really start sleeping earlier or youâd have to get used to this.
âHey,â Erin, your seatmate, whispers. Her voice tried to be as discreet as it could in a whisper⌠it didnât really work. The professor gave her a stern stare as a form of warning, though you could tell it had an entirely different undertone, even from a mile away. It left a bad taste in your mouth, having to bear witness to such unprofessional exchanges of looks in an academic setting of all places. Erin, who bites her lip, scribbles whatever she was going to say to you on a torn piece of paper.
âWanna know a secret?â It read with two boxes just right underneath it: yes or no. You look at her with a dumbfounded look plastered all over your face. You knew she was childish to a certain extent, but was she really that childish? Nevertheless, you tick the box on the left and send it back to her.
Cause you know, curiosity killed the cat.
You shouldâve seen the conniving smirk plastered on her lips but you were too focused on your thoughts to notice anything else around you. She scribbles once more then folds it, dropping it into your hands with the hastily written warning facing you: âread it when you get home. preferably alone lol ;)â.
Then, class is dismissed.
You watch her get up from her seat and blend in with everybody else rushing out of the room, not missing the heavy glance she passes at the professor. You didnât even want to stay any longer to see what happened next, so you started haphazardly shoving things into your bag instead, remembering to pocket the small note into the depths of your jacket.
When you leave the room, Lee Heeseung is already standing there, in all his lazy-fitted gloryâ messy bed hair hiding under a hood, donning the black hoodie you both bought as a coupleâs set for valentines last week and the black sweatpants you bought for him to match.
âHello, beautiful.â He coos, engulfing you in a tight one-armed hug. It gave you the opportunity to take in his woody yet elegant-smelling perfume, the same Jo Malone one he wore everyday.
Your heart swelled in its place, appreciating how, without fail, Heeseung would wait for you outside your classes whenever he could, even if they ended really lateâ late enough that he should be at home resting, but instead, he would spend that time waiting for you like the good boyfriend he is.
âHey,â you smile into his chest. âUgh, I woke up late again today thanks to a certain someone.â
âWonder who that is? Maybe I should give them a word or two about keeping my princess up so late.â He pulls you from his chest to cup your face, coaxing you to fall deeper with that sweet smile of his. It never fails to make you feel like youâre the only girl in his world, like heâs got your back no matter what.
It was dangerous for such a smile to have the ability to make you forget about all your problems, even ones pertaining to him.
âYouâre such a dork,â you roll your eyes at him as you push him away.
âAt least Iâm your dork, so naturally⌠it cancels out.â A boyish grin spreads across his face so innocently that you canât help but press a kiss on his nose, immediately prompting him to blush a crimson red at your sudden display of affection. âWhat was that for?â
âYou looked cute,â you shrug.
At this, Heeseung turns an impossibly darker shade of red. âYou canât just say things like that so casually and expect me to be okay.â The way he attempts to cover the blush in his face behind his hands makes you laugh, completely and utterly endeared by him.
âIâm sorry. Next time, Iâll give you a heads up, yeah?â
âYouâre so mean.â He pouts.
When you got yourself entangled with the Lee Heeseung all those months ago, you didnât think that he would have such a boyish and cute side to him. His public persona had always been this untouchable, charismatic guy who could get anything he wanted with a snap of his finger, so you could imagine the whiplash you experienced when the first time you ever kissed him, he blushed so deeply you thought he was drunk.
It made you feel special, being the only one to have ever brought out this side of him, like you had him wrapped around your finger.
âYeah, but you canât ever bring yourself to hate me.â
âThat⌠is very true, Iâm afraid.â Heeseung sighs, catching your hand in his. âIâm kinda hungry, right now. Sushi?â
âSure.â
â
Over the course of your entire life, thereâve only been a handful of times where youâve been betrayed by people you trusted: first when you were twelve, being wrongly accused of having cheated on a test by your then best friend; second when you were the only one to have been thrown under the bus by people you thought were your close group of friends for smoking weed in your highschoolâs bathroom cubicle; and third when you found out that Heeseung had been with Erin during the one-week break in your relationship.
The note passed to you by Erin from earlier in the month stays ripped into pieces in the palm of your hand. Youâd forgotten all about it until a few hours ago, and you wished it had stayed that way. But you know by now that things never go your way.
You and Heeseung were on break for about a week, citing that you were not in the mental headspace to be dealing with a relationship at that moment in time because of your slipping grades, and he understandably obliged, even kissing your forehead goodbye as you left his apartment.
Erinâs written confession, if you could even call it that, echoes in your mind like a blaring alarm.
from girlie to girlie, your boyfriend came onto me while you guys were on your little break. must say, your boyfriend is talented at making people cry ;).
All you needed was a week to heal and sort your shit out before you went back into his arms, and he couldnât even wait that long?
You felt sick to your stomach and you wanted nothing more than to scream your aching heart away, to be left with nothing more than a void. At least then, you would no longer feel the hurt and betrayal Heeseung inflicted upon you with his actions, and the months of torment youâd endured just to seem worthy to stay by his side.
Did he even ever truly love you like he said he did?
The more you dwell on these thoughts, the more you could feel yourself physically slipping into a state of mental numbness as you stayed motionless on your spot on the carpeted floor.
It wouldnât be until a few more hours later that Heeseung would enter your dorm, tired as ever from his basketball practice. It was routine for him to crash at your dorm on Tuesdays and Fridaysâwhenever he had basketball practicesâ because it was more convenient for him to get to his 9am class the next day from your in-campus dorm, compared to his condo that was 20 minutes away. Adding that you gave him the energy he needed for the days ahead, but now youâre contemplating whether that part was even true or not.
âSweetheart,â he calls out to you from the entrance. âIâve got to tell you about what happened to Jay at practice today-â he cuts himself short as he spots your leaning figure, head tucked into your knees, surrounded by torn pieces of paper.
âY/n?â He quickly runs to your side.
âSeungie,â you meekly whisper as you lift your head, tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes finally coming into clear view.
âDid something happen? What happened?â His hands make quick work to caress your face, tucking stray pieces of hair behind your ears and wiping tears away with his thumb.
Even after knowing what he had allegedly done behind your back, you couldnât help but feel your heart pounding. This was the sweet, caring Heeseung you knew and loved. And so the thought that Erin couldâve been lying to you, flitters across your mind and nestles itself there.
âYou wouldnât lie to me, right?â Your voice sounds hoarse and quiet, yet the silent pleading rings deafeningly in your ears. You felt so pathetic crying in your living room about a boy who mightâve technically cheated on you, then finding yourself putty in his hands the moment he shows you the version of truth youâre familiar with.
Why are making up excuses for his behaviour?
Gosh, your roommate would kill you if she knew how much of a loser youâve become in Heeseungâs presence.
âOf course not, baby,â he pulls you into an embrace. âThereâs nothing I could ever lie to you about.â Did this ease your trust issues in any way? No. But it did assure you that Erin was still nothing but a serial liar, wanting nothing more than to see other peopleâs relationships fall apart for her own selfish entertainment⌠you think.
You hum into Heeseungâs tweed pullover.
It was always like this. You donât know how many times youâve gone through the same thing, and you donât know how many more times you can go through without fully losing your sanity. But you canât seem to find it in yourself to pull away, no matter how exhausted your heart and soul becomes.
â
âCanât believe you stayed with him, even after knowing what he did behind your back.â Erin sneers from beside you, clearly amused by your course of actions these past few weeks.
âWhatever I do is none of your business,â you bite back through your teeth. Youâve never liked Erin, but even more so after the stunt she did that almost cost you your entire relationship with Heeseung. You shouldâve known that she never had good intentions to begin with, constantly lying through her teeth. âI know you lied about it.â
She raises an eyebrow at this, âYou think Iâm lying? Oh baby, youâre really so fucking gullible.â Erin could practically see the cogs turning in your brain, if the furrowing of your brows were anything to go by. âIâm saying that Heeseung has you completely under his thumb, and youâre dumb enough to believe anything and everything he says,â she plays with her pen, swirling it around her finger as she eyes you. âItâs whatever though, Heeseung likes good girls anyways.â
âWhat the fuck is that supposed to mean?â
âOh, I think we both know very well.â She smirks, tapping the pen on her temple once then twice, before shifting in her seat back towards the front of the lecture hall.
Just what was her fucking deal?
It leaves you with more questions than answers, as you watch her diligently jot down notes from beside you. After today, you were for sure going to switch seats because there was just no fucking way you could survive the rest of the year this way.
â
You donât know how you ended up here. The first minute you were being dumped by Heeseung, and the next youâre waking up with a raging hangover in his best friend's bed.
Heeseung technically didnât dump you, telling you that he wanted a break the same you did all those months before. And you technically didn't end up in his best friendâs bed by complete choice. You were drunk out of your mind at a party last night, one that your roommate had dragged you to after seeing you in your depressed state for the past week. But no matter the excuse you try to conjure, it still doesnât excuse the fact that you cheated on your boyfriend.
Your heart beats sporadically at the sight of Sunghoonâs bare back facing you, not because youâre flustered but because youâre instantly hit with the gravity of your own drunken choices.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
With heavy feet, you stumble out of his bed and start navigating through the mess of discarded clothes, and soon after, Sunghoon eventually stirs awake from the ruckus you were unintentionally causing in his shared dorm room. âY/n?â He groggily calls out to you.
Fuck.
It didnât take Sunghoon very long to figure out why the fuck you were in his room half-naked, piecing together the clues that lay around the expanse of his dorm. He clearly didnât need to be a genius like Einstein to figure out that you and him had a drunken one-night stand. YouâHeeseungâs girlfriendâand himâHeeseungâs best friendâhad spent the night together. Intimately.
Right around the three-second mark, the same level of anxiety sank into his stomach.Â
Fuck, indeed.
âI made a mistake.â Your voice trembled, tears starting to blur your vision as hot panic courses through you.
âHey, we were both drunk,â Sunghoon says, sitting up at the sight of you still half-dressed and starting to break down at the foot of his bed. âHeeseung doesnât have to know about this. We both made a mistake, and donât blame yourself because you werenât the only one, okay?â
âBut, fuck, it doesnât change the fact that I cheated on my boyfriend. What the fuck was I thinking?â Your fingers fly to tousle with your hair, pulling at the roots to try and ease the pounding in your head.
You werenât any better than all the people you were disgusted by, seeing as youâve stopped as low. Memories from last night flash through your mind, as if to haunt you; the party, the flashing lights, the drinks, the kissing, the skin against skin. You felt so fucking sick to your stomach.
âWe didnât mean to sleep with each other. We were just drunk.â Sunghoon reasons, but no amount of gaslighting could change whatâs already been done.
You were either going to live with this aching thorn by your side forever, or own up to your mistakes like a normal human being with a moral compass. With how deep youâve fallen for Heeseung, you couldnât bear losing him, yet both options entailed losing him one way or another.
Itâs best not knowing what could potentially hurt, right?
Right.
Š i2ycat 2024
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