#this has been a joke between me and my friend for like a year and a half at this point
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OHMYGOOOOOOD
Thank God this wasn't as sad as the others đ I needed a break from crying.
"Maybe itâs fate," she joked, but her tone had a hint of seriousness.
The way I almost screamed bc IT IS FATE đ„șđ©·
Logan followed without complaint, falling into step beside you as you made your way to the car. The streets were quieter than usual, but the tension between rival families was palpableâsomething was brewing, and everyone knew it.
Istg when I read this I was so sure y/n would end up with a bullet between her eyes, that's how scared I amđ
You laughed, standing up and dusting your hands off. âSorry to disappoint. Iâve got a weakness for strays.â
Logan being the ultimate strayđ
đ€ she's always drawn to him
Mr. Russo gave Logan a once-over, then grinned, his false teeth gleaming. âYou any good at cards, tough guy?â
This was so precious to me!! Logan playing cards with y/n and her friends â€ïž
âYeah?â You took a step closer, crossing your arms with a playful grin. âAnd here I thought Iâd be driving you crazy.â
âYou do,â he murmured, almost too quietly. His lips turned up slightly, but he looked away, that unspoken wall going back up.
This has so many meanings, not only flirting but I can imagine after over 100 years loving and losing the same person over and over, that would definitely drive him crazy
You glanced down the hall and shrugged. âGuess I can live with that. For now.â
Loganâs lips twitched, just barely. âFor now,â he echoed, and there was something heavier in those words, something he wasnât sharing.
MY HEART ACHEDđđđđ
The kiss was desperate, wild, like he was making up for lost time. His lips claimed yours with a roughness that sent a shiver down your spine, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if he couldnât stand the distance. You gasped against his mouth, your fingers finding their way into his hair, tugging him down harder.
Logan groaned into your mouth, a deep, almost pained sound, and the desperation in it made your blood race. He kissed you like he was starving, like he needed this, needed you, and you felt your body melt into him.
Omfg I've never seen them so passionate it's making me feel things đźâđš the smut was perfect balance of passion and desperation
And this time, he was determined to make it last as long as he could. Maybe, just maybe, even put that ring to use.
Screaming crying throwing up đđ„șđ„șđ„ș bc I desperately need to see when he proposes but I can't even imagine how it would go
You felt a surge of affection for him then, this man whoâd somehow become both your protector and your closest confidant. He was rough around the edges, guarded and distant with everyone elseâbut with you, he was different. You brought out a softness in him, a warmth that felt as though it had been buried for a long, long time.
This might be one of the best dialogues I've read, bc it's so true đ„ș for decades this man has tried everything in his power to cherish and protect the love of his life, she's the only one that brings out a resemblance of peace on himđđ
Loganâs gaze darkened. âItâs not. You know that. And anyone who tries to take it without your say? They got me to deal with.â His voice was low and dangerous, a promise just for you.
Forever obsessed with this story and the way he will do anything to help and adore y/nâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
i love you, in every time àżâ§â 1973 - we meet again my dear...
chapter summary: After leaving Team X behind, Logan finds himself back in New York City working as a bodyguard for various people. Until he finds himself acting as a bodyguard for you, a mobster's daughter.
word count: 18.3k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: i'm a sucker for the bodyguard trope (and also just dofp logan in general, that man makes me go feral), so you know i had to do it when given the chance! i had so much fun writing this version of reader, especially because this is the closest to 'modern' times that we've gotten and i didn't have to do a ton of research about this year. the tags might give away a little bit of the plot, but i promise it's gonna be a fun ride ;)
warnings/tags: fluff, angst, 70s!logan, mafia/mob, implied age gap, flirting, smut, thigh riding, unprotected piv, creampie, arranged marriage
series masterlist - chapter 4 â chapter 6
He left Stryker, Victor, and Team X behind, settling in New York City as a bodyguard, hired by various people: politicians, the mafia, anyone.
Logan was now getting his fifth job, protecting a mobsterâs young daughter.
He was used to jobs like this by now, but something about this one felt... different. As he walked through the large estate, the details blurred around him. His focus was on the jobâuntil the moment he saw you.
You were standing by the window, the sunlight filtering through the curtains, casting a soft glow over your face. There was something familiar about the way you held yourself, the way your hair fell over your shoulders. For a second, it felt like the air was sucked out of the room.
Loganâs chest tightened.
It was you.
Same face. Same presence. Same pull that had haunted him for over a century.
But you were different, too. This time, you werenât a schoolteacher, a nurse, or a coal minerâs wife. You were his new job.
You turned, eyes meeting his, and for a brief moment, it felt like you recognized him too. That sense of familiarity flickered across your face before you smiledâpolite, but distant.
âY/N, this is Logan,â the mobsterâyour fatherâintroduced. âHeâll be your new bodyguard.â
Your fatherâs voice faded into the background as Loganâs gaze remained locked on you. You gave a small nod, extending your hand. âNice to meet you, Logan.â
Logan stared at your hand for a beat too long before taking it. That brief contact sent a shock through him, an old memory he couldnât quite shake.
âLikewise,â he muttered, his voice rougher than he intended.
Your father clapped Logan on the back. âI expect youâll keep her safe. Thereâs been some... tension with a rival family.â
Logan only nodded, but his attention stayed on you. You were right in front of him, alive. But you didnât know him. Like always.
After your father left the room, you leaned against the window frame, crossing your arms. âSo, how long have you been doing this?â you asked, your tone casual.
Logan leaned against the wall, watching you closely. âLong enough.â
You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth. âThatâs vague.â
He didnât respond, and for a moment, silence settled between you two. It wasnât uncomfortable, but there was something unsaid hanging in the air.
âWhat about you?â Logan asked, more to fill the space than out of curiosity. âHow do you feel about having a bodyguard?â
You shrugged. âIâve had worse.â
That earned a faint, almost imperceptible smile from Logan, but he quickly covered it with a grunt. âGlad to hear it.â
A pause. Then you looked at him, your eyes narrowing slightly, like you were trying to figure him out. âYou seem... familiar.â
Logan stiffened. âDonât think weâve met before.â
You tilted your head, studying him. âNo, but... I donât know. Something about you.â
Loganâs heart pounded in his chest, but he kept his expression neutral. He couldnât tell you. Not about the past lives, not about how many times he had watched you die.
You shrugged it off, smiling again. âMaybe Iâm just imagining things.â
âMaybe,â Logan muttered, not meeting your eyes this time.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of introductions, schedules, and instructions from your father. Logan followed at a distance, keeping an eye on you, but his mind was elsewhere.
That night, Logan sat on the balcony just outside your room, staring out at the city lights. His thoughts raced, the weight of the engagement ring in his pocket feeling heavier than usual.
You were alive. Again.
But for how long this time?
---
You plopped onto your bed, the wire from your rotary phone stretching with you, âhe is good looking though.â
You could practically hear Jenniferâs grin through the phone, âoh, yeah? Man, all your bodyguards are good looking. Itâs not fair!â
You laughed, twirling the phone cord between your fingers. "Heâs⊠different though. I canât quite put my finger on it. Heâs quiet, but not in the usual 'Iâm-paid-to-watch-you' way."
"Is he mysterious?" Jennifer teased, her voice light. "Maybe heâs got some dark, brooding backstory. Mob families always hire guys like thatââstrong and silent.â"
You snorted. "Maybe. But heâs not like the others." You hesitated, leaning back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling. âThereâs something familiar about him⊠like Iâve met him before.â
Jennifer paused on the other end of the line, then her voice softened. "You think heâs one of your dadâs guys from back in the day?"
You shook your head, even though she couldnât see it. "No, itâs not that. Itâs⊠weird, Jen. Like I know him, but I donât. Itâs been bugging me since I met him."
"Maybe itâs fate," she joked, but her tone had a hint of seriousness. "Youâve been going through bodyguards like theyâre tissues. Maybe this oneâs here to stick around."
You rolled your eyes but smiled. "Fate? Youâve been reading too many romance novels."
"Hey, a girl can dream!" Jennifer laughed. "But seriously, if you feel something, maybe itâs worth looking into. Heâs hot, right?"
You smiled at that, though your thoughts wandered back to Logan. The way his eyes lingered on you, like he was seeing something no one else could. "Yeah," you admitted softly. "Heâs definitely that. Heâs probably as old as my dad or somethinâ. But man, Jen, if you saw him youâd lose your mind.â
You twirled the phone cord around your finger, still smiling to yourself, but your thoughts kept circling back to Logan. Something about the way he looked at youâlike he knew more than he was sayingâstuck with you. It wasnât creepy or overprotective. It was... familiar. Comforting, even.
Jenniferâs voice pulled you from your thoughts. âHey, donât overthink it, okay? Enjoy the view for once. Not everyone gets a hot bodyguard with a mysterious vibe. Maybe heâs the silver lining to your dadâs whole âparanoiaâ problem.â
You laughed quietly. âYeah, maybe.â
You hung up not long after, still feeling the weight of that odd, lingering sense of déjà vu.
---
The next morning, Logan was waiting for you downstairs. Dressed in his usual dark clothes, he stood near the front door with his hands in his pockets, posture relaxed but alert. His eyes flicked toward you the second you entered the room.
There it was againâthat heavy gaze that made it feel like he could see right through you.
âMorninâ,â you said, offering a small smile.
âMorninâ,â Logan replied, his voice gravelly.
Your father wasnât homeâout dealing with âbusinessââwhich gave you a rare moment to yourself. Well, mostly. You slipped on your leather jacket and glanced at Logan, your lips quirking up in a teasing grin. âWhatâs the plan, bodyguard? Gonna follow me around all day?â
Logan grunted, something close to amusement flashing in his eyes. âThatâs the job.â
âYou always this chatty?â
âOnly when I meet interesting people.â His tone was dry, but there was the faintest flicker of a smile beneath it.
You snorted, heading for the door. âCâmon, hope you like running errands.â
Logan followed without complaint, falling into step beside you as you made your way to the car. The streets were quieter than usual, but the tension between rival families was palpableâsomething was brewing, and everyone knew it.
Still, Loganâs presence made you feel... safer. Like nothing bad could happen as long as he was there. It was strange. You barely knew him, but being around him felt easy. Natural. Like youâd known him for a lot longer than a day.
---
When you said you were going to run âerrands,â Logan hadnât expected you to walk straight into an animal shelter. He followed you through the entrance, nodding politely at the woman at the front desk as you greeted her like an old friend.
âMorning, Lorraine!â you said with a bright smile.
Lorraine, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, smiled back. âThereâs my favorite troublemaker. The pups will be glad to see you.â She cast a curious glance at Logan. âAnd whoâs this?â
âMy latest babysitter,â you said with a smirk, glancing at Logan. âLogan, meet Lorraine. Lorraine, Logan.â
Logan gave a curt nod. âMaâam.â
Lorraine chuckled. âA man of few words. I like him already.â She waved you both toward the back. âGo on, theyâve been waiting for you.â
As soon as you walked past the front desk and entered the back area, the sound of excited barking filled the air. Dogs of all sizes pressed their noses against the bars of their cages, tails wagging furiously at the sight of you.
You crouched down in front of one of the kennels, talking softly to a scruffy little mutt as it whined and pawed at the bars. âHey, buddy. Miss me?â
Logan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching the way you scratched behind the dog's ears. There was something easy about the way you moved here, something soft. For a mobsterâs kid, you had a surprisingly gentle touch.
"Didn't expect this to be part of the job," Logan muttered after a moment, his voice low but teasing.
You glanced up, grinning. "What, thought Iâd be shopping for fur coats or shaking people down for cash?"
Logan raised a brow. "Somethinâ like that."
You laughed, standing up and dusting your hands off. âSorry to disappoint. Iâve got a weakness for strays.â You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out a small bag of treats, tossing some into the kennels. "These guys have it rough enough without me skipping out on them."
Logan watched as the dogs practically fought over the treats, barking happily at your attention. You moved from cage to cage, giving each dog a little affection. It was... unexpected.
Logan watched you toss the last treat into one of the kennels, the scruffy mutt practically vibrating with happiness. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, an amused glint in his eyes as you turned and dusted your hands off with a grin.
"Youâre full of surprises," Logan muttered.
You raised an eyebrow, smirking as you folded your arms. âOh, yeah? Disappointed?â
"Not exactly." His lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile.
You took a step closer, tilting your head. "Well, what did you expect?"
Logan shrugged, keeping his expression neutral. "Spoiled. Entitled. Maybe a little dangerous."
You laughed, the sound light and easy, and Loganâs chest tightened in a way that felt too familiar. "Dangerous, huh? Guess Iâve got some layers." You gave him a playful once-over. "What about you? Big, scary bodyguard with a brooding vibe. Got any surprises I should know about?"
Logan snorted. "Not really."
You narrowed your eyes like you didnât quite believe him, but instead of pressing, you motioned toward the door. "Câmon. Iâve got one more stop."
Logan fell into step beside you as you exited the shelter and made your way toward the car. You chatted casually, filling the silence with stories about your favorite dogs at the shelter. But Logan stayed mostly quiet, his mind racing. It wasnât just your voiceâit was you. The way you carried yourself, the way you teased him like it was second nature.
He stole a glance at you as you drove. God, it felt the same as always. Like gravity pulled him toward you whether he wanted it or not.
---
Logan shouldâve expected the second time around that you werenât taking him to a normal place for errands. He was even more surprised when you parked in a nursing home parking lot and got out with that same pep in your step.
The sliding doors opened as you walked up to the front counter, where a middle-aged woman with tired eyes peered over the top of a blocky computer monitor. Her name tag read Carol.
âMorning, Carol,â you chirped with an easy smile, tapping your fingers on the desk.
Carol looked up and brightened at the sight of you. âWell, if it isnât my favorite visitor. Here to cheer up the old-timers again?â
âAlways,â you said, flashing a grin. âAnd I brought backup today.â You gestured behind you to Logan, who gave a brief nod.
Carol gave him a once-over and arched an eyebrow. âWell now, you didnât tell me youâd be bringing a tall drink of water.â
You smirked, glancing over your shoulder at Logan. âYeah, figured Iâd mix things up.â
Logan just grunted in response, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightlyâhalf amusement, half something else. Carol winked at you before waving toward the hallway. âYou know where to find them.â
You led Logan down the hall, your steps light and familiar as if you'd been coming here for years. He followed quietly, his sharp gaze flicking between doorways and hallways, always alert.
âYou spend a lot of time here?â Logan asked as you slowed near a door marked Activity Room.
You shrugged. âYeah. Most of these folks donât get many visitors. Itâs nice to stop by and remind them theyâre not forgotten.â
Logan gave a small grunt of acknowledgment. It was such a simple thingâvolunteering at a nursing homeâbut it hit him hard. It was just like you to find the overlooked parts of the world and give them your attention, like the dogs at the shelter, like the people here. You always had that streak of kindness, no matter which life you were living.
You nudged open the door, stepping into the room. A group of residents sat in mismatched chairs, some knitting, others half-watching a daytime soap on an old television. At the sight of you, faces lit up.
âThere she is!â one of the older women called, setting her knitting aside with a delighted clap of her hands. âI thought you forgot about us!â
âAs if I ever could,â you replied warmly, walking over to give her a light hug.
Logan lingered near the doorway, watching as you moved through the room like you belonged there, chatting with each resident, asking about their week, their familiesâif they remembered them. His heart twisted, both with admiration and an ache that wouldnât quit.
You noticed him standing off to the side and shot him a teasing grin. âDonât be shy, Logan. They wonât bite.â
He raised an eyebrow. âNot worried about them.â
You laughed, turning back to an older man with a deck of cards spread out in front of him. âLogan, meet Mr. Russo. Heâs got a mean poker face.â
Mr. Russo gave Logan a once-over, then grinned, his false teeth gleaming. âYou any good at cards, tough guy?â
Logan shrugged. âI can hold my own.â
You slid into the chair beside Mr. Russo, motioning for Logan to join you. âCare to test your luck?â
Logan hesitated for only a moment before pulling out a chair, the legs scraping against the linoleum. As he sat down, you dealt him a hand, your fingers brushing his in the processâa fleeting touch, but enough to send a jolt of familiarity through both of you.
You caught Loganâs gaze over the cards, a flicker of something unspoken passing between you. There it was againâthat sense that you knew him somehow, though you couldnât quite place it. It nagged at you, but you let it pass, offering him a playful smirk instead.
âCareful,â you warned. âI donât go easy on anyone.â
Logan returned the smirk, something dangerous glinting in his eyes. âNeither do I.â
---
After the game, which you wonâbarely, you said your goodbyes to the residents, promising to visit again soon. Logan followed silently as you made your way back to the car, the soft clinking of your keys the only sound between you.
âNot what you expected for today, huh?â you asked as you slid into the driverâs seat.
Logan leaned against the car door, arms crossed. âNot exactly.â
You smiled, starting the engine. âBet you thought being a mobsterâs kid would be more... glamorous.â
âSomething like that.â He gave you a sidelong glance. âYou like keeping people guessing, donât you?â
You grinned, shifting the car into drive. âItâs one of my many talents.â
The two of you drove in companionable silence, the hum of the city filling the space between you. Logan rested his elbow on the window frame, glancing at you every so often. You were like a puzzle he couldnât quite solveâdifferent from the others, yet still unmistakably you.
âWhy do you do it?â he asked after a while. âThe shelter, the nursing home. You donât have to.â
You shrugged, your expression thoughtful. "Dunno. Just because I was born into this life doesnât mean I like what my dad does. I guess sometimes I feel like Iâm tryinâ to balance the scales."
Logan leaned back against the seat, his sharp gaze on you, but he didnât respond right away. You could tell he was chewing on thatâprobably picking apart your words, trying to figure you out. He always seemed like the kind of man who noticed everything, even if he didnât say much about it.
You flashed him a teasing grin, trying to lighten the mood. "What about you? Any skeletons in the closet? Or are you just a man of mystery with perfect timing?"
Logan snorted softly, his lips twitching in that almost-smile he had. "Iâm no mystery. Just do my job."
"Oh, come on," you pressed, throwing him a playful look. "You gotta give me something. Favorite food? Ever been married? Deep, dark secret?"
He gave you a sidelong glance, amused but guarded. "Steak. No. And not a chance."
You huffed in mock disappointment, drumming your fingers on the steering wheel. "Youâre no fun, Logan."
"Never said I was," he muttered, but there was warmth in his tone, like he didnât mind your teasing at all.
The conversation paused for a moment, the soft hum of the engine filling the space between you. Loganâs eyes lingered on you a little longer than they probably should haveâtaking in the curve of your smile, the way your fingers tapped a rhythm on the wheel.
And damn, if you didnât make it hard to stay detached. You were so... alive. Every glance, every smile, every little laugh. You carried yourself like someone who knew how fleeting things could beâand even though Logan knew you couldnât remember, he remembered every time youâd slipped through his fingers. That thought settled heavy in his chest, like a weight he carried everywhere.
You shot him a grin. "You know, if you keep looking at me like that, Iâm gonna think youâre interested."
Loganâs lips twitched. "What makes you think Iâm not?"
The boldness of his response caught you off guard for a second, but you recovered quickly, leaning a little closer, eyes glinting with mischief. "Careful, tough guy. Youâre supposed to be protecting me, not flirting with me."
"Who says I canât do both?" His voice was low, rough, and it sent a small shiver down your spine.
You tilted your head, pretending to consider it. "I think my dad might disagree."
Loganâs eyes darkened slightly, though his expression didnât change. "Your dadâs not here."
There it wasâthat pull again, the quiet, unspoken gravity between the two of you. It was like standing on the edge of something dangerous and thrilling all at once. You felt it in the way his gaze lingered, in the weight of his words. He wasnât just playing along.
You cleared your throat, breaking the tension with a teasing smile. "Well, if youâre planning on making a move, Logan, you better make it good. Iâve got high standards, yâknow."
Logan let out a low chuckleâquiet, but genuineâand for a moment, you thought you saw something softer in his eyes. Something like... affection.
But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by that familiar guarded expression.
"Noted," he muttered, shifting his gaze back to the road ahead.
You grinned, satisfied that youâd managed to chip away at his walls, even if only a little.
---
The two of you finished your errands without any trouble, stopping by a grocery store for some essentials and grabbing a late lunch at a small diner tucked away from the main streets. It wasnât muchâjust burgers and friesâbut sitting across from Logan in the booth, you felt surprisingly content.
He was quiet most of the time, but not in a way that felt awkward. It was... comfortable. Like he didnât need to fill the silence just for the sake of it. And every now and then, heâd throw out a dry, sarcastic comment that made you laugh harder than you expected.
You leaned back in the booth, sipping your soda and watching him over the rim of your glass. "Yâknow, Logan... youâre not half as scary as you look."
Logan raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Disappointed?"
"Not at all," you replied, your smile turning a little softer. "I like surprises."
He held your gaze for a moment, something unreadable flickering behind those sharp blue eyes. And for a secondâjust a secondâyou thought maybe, just maybe, there was something familiar about the way he looked at you. Like you were more than just a job to him.
But before you could dwell on it, Logan glanced at his watch and cleared his throat. "We should head back. Your old manâll be expecting you."
You sighed dramatically, sliding out of the booth. "Guess my funâs over."
Logan chuckled, tossing a few bills on the table for the check. "For now."
You gave him a playful nudge as you walked past him toward the door. "Donât sound too excited."
---
By the time you got back to the house, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, casting the streets in a soft orange glow. Logan followed you inside, his quiet presence grounding you in a way you couldnât quite explain.
"Thanks for today," you said, tossing your jacket onto a chair.
Logan gave a small nod, leaning against the wall near the door. "No problem."
You hesitated for a moment, then shot him one last grin. "You know, youâre not as bad as I thought."
"Same to you," he replied, that almost-smile creeping back onto his face.
And just like that, the unspoken connection between you simmered beneath the surface, waiting.
Maybe Logan was right. Maybe your dad would be pissed if he knew how much you enjoyed your new bodyguardâs company.
But standing there, watching Loganâs gaze linger on you for just a beat too long, you found you didnât care all that much.
"Goodnight, Logan," you said softly, turning toward the stairs.
"Goodnight, Y/N," he replied, his voice low and steady.
And as you climbed the stairs, you couldnât shake the feeling that this wasnât the first time youâd said goodnight to him like this.
Not by a long shot.
---
Your dad told you not to leave the house today, which was fine by you, you had laundry to do anyways.
It had become habit to do your own laundry, even if you did have maids around the house. Nancy, one of the older maids, was the one to teach you that, along with cooking and cleaning since your mother has been gone since you were little.
You had a radio set on the washer, the familiar croon of 70s tunes filling the small laundry room as you pulled warm clothes from the dryer into a basket. Youâd been at it for the better part of the morning, the simple domestic task giving you a sense of normalcy. The soft hum of the machines, the crackling radio, and the scent of clean laundryâ it was all routine.
Routine helped keep your mind off the storm brewing outside your little bubble.
You sighed, swaying your hips a bit to the music as you lifted the basket. The house felt quieter today, with your dad off dealing with âbusinessâ as usual. And Logan? He was somewhere nearby, probably lurking in the shadows like the brooding protector he was.
As if on cue, Logan appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. He was dressed in his usual dark clothing, looking as stoic as ever. You wondered if he ever wore anything other than flannels and a leather jacket.
"You know, I didnât take you for the laundry-doing type," he remarked, his gravelly voice cutting through the music.
You raised an eyebrow, throwing a playful glance over your shoulder. "What, you think Iâm too spoiled to do my own chores?"
Logan's lips twitched, almost forming a smile. "Something like that."
You smirked, grabbing the laundry basket and turning to face him. "I like to surprise people."
"Youâre good at it," he replied, his gaze lingering a little longer than usual. There was something behind those eyes, something deeper, but as always, he kept it hidden beneath that calm, impenetrable exterior.
You tilted your head, leaning your hip against the dryer. "You sticking around or just checking on me?"
Logan shrugged, though his eyes never left yours. "Just making sure you're not running off anywhere. Your dad was pretty clear about staying put."
You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips softened the gesture. "Iâll be a good girl. Promise."
Logan grunted in response, pushing off the doorframe and walking closer. "Youâre a lot of things, Y/N. Not sure âgood girlâ is one of them."
You let out a laugh, swatting at him with a towel. "Hey, I can behave when I want to. Itâs just more fun not to."
He caught your wrist with ease, holding it for a second too long before letting go. There was that familiar tension between you again, the unspoken something that crackled in the air whenever the two of you were close. He probably didn't mean to linger, but you could feel itâthat pull.
"Maybe itâs the company," you teased, grabbing your laundry basket. "You bring out the best in me."
Logan didnât respond immediately, but there was something in his eyes, something that made your breath hitch. He was quiet, but not in the usual way bodyguards were. With Logan, there was a weight to his silence, like he was always holding back, always watching.
You pushed past the lingering tension with a grin, heading toward the door with your laundry. "Come on, broody. Letâs get out of the laundry room before we both go stir-crazy."
As you passed by, you brushed against himâjust lightly, but enough to send a small jolt through you. He didnât move, but his eyes followed your every step, that silent intensity never wavering.
You stopped in the hallway and shot him a look over your shoulder. âYouâre making this way too serious, you know. Iâm doing laundry, not sneaking out of prison.â
âOld habits die hard,â he replied, crossing his arms with a slight smirk. âBesides, I think your dadâs idea of âsafeâ is pretty different from yours.â
You rolled your eyes, hugging the laundry basket closer. âRight. Next, heâll say I need an escort to the mailbox.â
Logan raised a brow, clearly amused. âYou wouldnât be the first.â
That earned him a laugh, and you shook your head, settling the basket on the table in the hall. âGuess youâre stuck with me then, bodyguard.â
âDoesnât seem so bad,â he said, his voice softening as he glanced at you. His gaze was familiar in a way you couldnât place, like heâd looked at you this way a hundred times before.
âYeah?â You took a step closer, crossing your arms with a playful grin. âAnd here I thought Iâd be driving you crazy.â
âYou do,â he murmured, almost too quietly. His lips turned up slightly, but he looked away, that unspoken wall going back up.
âGood,â you teased, reaching out to poke him in the chest. âKeeps things interesting.â
Logan caught your hand before you could pull it back, holding it just long enough that you could feel the warmth of his touch, the quiet strength in it. There was something in his eyes that hinted at⊠more. Like heâd known you far longer than you couldâve ever guessed.
âIs that what you want?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your heart thumped, but you kept your tone light. âDepends on what youâre offering, doesnât it?â
His gaze dropped to your hand, still caught in his. He let go, but there was something in his expression that lingered. It was like he was searching for the right words, something he couldnât quite say. Or maybe didnât want to.
Instead, he settled back with that guarded look. âBetter get used to me being around,â he said, nodding toward the front of the house. âYour dad wonât have it any other way.â
You glanced down the hall and shrugged. âGuess I can live with that. For now.â
Loganâs lips twitched, just barely. âFor now,â he echoed, and there was something heavier in those words, something he wasnât sharing.
You lingered for a moment, the silence stretching between you, before you picked up the basket again. âWell, Iâve got more laundry to fold. But if you feel like helping outâŠâ
He chuckled, shaking his head. âNice try, sweetheart.â
You rolled your eyes, shooting him a wink. âFine. Iâll let you off easy this time.â
âAppreciate it,â he said with a smirk, but his eyes softened as he watched you turn to go, like he was holding back something he couldnât quite name.
As you walked away, the light-heartedness of the moment stayed with you, but so did something else. It was that look Logan had, the one that made you feel seen, like he knew you better than anyone else ever had.
Maybe he did.
Or maybe, in some impossible way, he always had.
---
âNo, no, no, cara. Give it to me.â Nancy took the mixing bowl away from you, stirring the batter while muttering something in Italian.
You leaned your hip against the counter, placing your head on Nancyâs shoulder with a pout. "I was doing what youâre doing.â
Nancy shook her head, stirring the batter with a practiced hand, her warm, familiar presence comforting. âNo, cara mia, you were doing what you think Iâm doing.â She shot you a look, one of those fond, chiding glances sheâd perfected over the years. âAnd it was not the same.â
You laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. âFine, but youâre teaching me bad habits. This is how I stay spoiled, you know.â
She chuckled, patting your cheek affectionately. âYou think you need me to be spoiled? You do just fine on your own.â
Before you could respond, Loganâs familiar silhouette appeared in the doorway. He leaned against the frame, watching you with a slight smirk that was becoming all too familiarâand endearing.
âCareful, Nancy,â he said, his voice a low rumble. âSheâs already hard enough to handle.â
You turned, hands on your hips, feigning offense. âExcuse me, hard to handle?â
Logan shrugged, crossing his arms with a smirk. âYou said it, not me.â
Nancy chuckled, eyes sparkling as she looked between you and Logan. âAh, Y/N, heâs right. You do have a little spirit.â
You scoffed playfully, giving Logan an exaggerated glare before grinning back at Nancy. âWhat? Iâm an angel, and you know it.â
Logan snorted, clearly enjoying himself. âRight. A real saint.â He gave you a knowing look, one that made your stomach flip despite yourself. That unspoken energy simmered between you two, even as you tried to keep it casual.
Nancy just shook her head, muttering something in Italian as she set the bowl down. âAngels donât cause so much trouble,â she teased, pinching your cheek. âI taught you better.â
You rubbed your cheek with a grin, leaning back against the counter. âIâm blaming Logan. His bad influence must be rubbing off on me.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up. âThat right? Thought you didnât need any help there.â
âOh, I donât,â you said, crossing your arms with a challenging look. âIâm fully capable of trouble on my own.â
Nancy watched the two of you with a satisfied smile, turning back to her baking. âAh, I see,â she murmured, her voice light. âItâs good to have someone who knows how to keep you in check.â
The glint in her eye wasnât lost on you, and you rolled your eyes. âYouâre making it sound like Iâm some kind of wild child.â
âNo, no,â she replied with a grin, waving her hand. âJust that I think he knows you better than you think, cara.â
Loganâs gaze softened a little at that, and though he didnât say anything, his look lingered, as if he were silently agreeing with her.
You cleared your throat, feeling the familiar warmth creeping up your neck. âWell,â you started, trying to brush off the moment, âif Loganâs going to stick around, he might as well help.â
Nancy gave a sly smile, turning to Logan. âWhat do you say, Logan? A little kitchen work wouldnât hurt.â
Logan shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender. âYou two are doing just fine without me.â
You shot him a grin, taking a step closer. âOh, come on. Big, tough Logan afraid of a little flour?â
His smirk softened as he looked down at you. âYou keep pushing, and I might just teach you a lesson in troublemaking.â
Your stomach fluttered at the way his gaze stayed locked on yours, that familiar pull tugging you closer. âIs that a threat?â
âCall it⊠a warning,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand brushed against yours, just for a second, but it was enough to send a spark up your arm.
Nancy cleared her throat, clearly amused. âOkay, okay. I donât need you two making a mess of my kitchen.â
You stepped back, giving Nancy a sheepish smile, and Logan chuckled, the sound low and easy. âSheâs right,â he said, nodding toward the door. âGuess Iâll just keep an eye on you from a safe distance.â
Nancy gave him a knowing look, shaking her head with a chuckle. âIf only it were that simple.â
---
âAh, stay still, cara.â Nancy chided you, taking out a roller from your hair.
You gave Nancy a pout, eyes skimming your reflection in the mirror with clear discontent. "I donât like it." Your voice held more weight than just the hair and makeup, though, and Nancy seemed to pick up on it.
She clicked her tongue, smoothing out a curl before looking at you through the mirror. âAh, cara mia, tonight is important to your father. Besides,â she added, eyes glinting, âyou look beautiful, yes?â
You gave her a half-hearted smile, brushing your hands over the bright yellow fabric of your dress. The dress was elegant and too formal for your taste, the kind of thing youâd never have chosen if it werenât for your dadâs insistence on making you âpresentableâ for his associates.
Nancy sighed, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. âY/N, itâs one night. Then youâll be back to your regular clothes, hmm?â
You grinned, rolling your eyes. âCanât come soon enough.â
Just as you were about to add more, there was a quiet knock at the door. You looked up, already expecting Loganâs familiar silhouette. He leaned against the frame, hands in his pockets, his usual air of calm doing little to hide the intense look in his eyes as he took in the sight of you in the dress.
âLooks like theyâve got you all dolled up,â he remarked, a faint smirk playing on his lips.
You shot him a look, half annoyed, half amused. âYeah, laugh it up, tough guy. Bet youâre glad itâs not you in this thing.â
Logan chuckled, stepping further into the room. âYou could say that.â His eyes met yours, and for a brief second, there was something in his gaze, something you couldnât quite put into words. But just as quickly, he looked away.
Nancy gave you a knowing smile, patting your shoulder before stepping back. âLogan,â she said, with a gentle warning in her voice, âtake care of her tonight, yes?â
Loganâs expression softened, his gaze turning protective as he looked at you. âAlways do.â
Nancy winked, then left the room, leaving you alone with him.
You let out a sigh, reaching for the hem of your dress as if you could somehow make it less constricting. âDo I really have to go down there?â
Logan raised an eyebrow. âYou think your dadâs throwing this party for fun? Whole point is for you to be seen.â
âGreat,â you muttered, moving toward the door. But as you passed him, Logan placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you.
âYouâll be fine,â he said, his voice lower, more reassuring. âTheyâre not expecting anything from you. Just show up, smile, let them know you exist.â
You looked up at him, searching his face. He was steady, calm, his expression soft in a way he rarely let others see. You didnât know why, but having him there made you feel a little more at ease. âGuess I donât have much choice, do I?â
âNope,â he replied, his mouth twitching into that almost-smile.
With a resigned sigh, you squared your shoulders. âAlright, letâs get this over with.â
---
The party was everything youâd dreaded: formal, suffocating, and filled with people whose only interest in you was as your fatherâs daughter. Youâd stuck close to Logan most of the night, exchanging quiet remarks whenever the chance arose, his presence the only thing keeping you from losing your mind. But as the night wore on, a few glasses of champagne and the tension of the evening started to wear on you.
You tugged on Loganâs sleeve as you leaned in close. âThink anyone would notice if I snuck out?â you murmured, your breath warm against his ear.
Logan chuckled low, his gaze flickering over you. âConsidering your dadâs been watching you like a hawk? Probably.â
You rolled your eyes, letting your hand brush his arm. âFigures. He canât just let me have one night off.â You shifted closer, feeling his warmth through his jacket, and gave him a mischievous smile. âBet you didnât sign up for babysitting duty.â
âDidnât realize youâd need it,â he replied with a smirk, his voice barely loud enough for you to hear.
You nudged him playfully, letting your hand linger on his arm. âI donât,â you said, a little more insistently. âYou just donât know what to do with me.â
His eyes met yours, and there was something dark and unspoken in his gaze. âCareful,â he murmured, his voice dropping. âI might take you up on that.â
The hint of challenge in his tone sent a thrill through you, and you leaned closer, your hand settling on his chest as you whispered, âOh, Iâm counting on it.â
You could feel his heartbeat, steady beneath your hand, but his expression gave nothing away. He looked down at you, his jaw tight, but his eyes held that familiar intensity, the kind that had always made you wonder just how long heâd been watching you. It was intoxicating, that pull between you, and tonight, with the champagne loosening your guard, you felt bolder than usual.
When you finally pulled away, you could feel his gaze following you, but you didnât let yourself look back. Instead, you mingled through the crowd, smiling politely, pretending to listen to conversations while stealing glances at Logan across the room.
After what felt like hours, your fatherâs attention finally shifted, and you took the chance to slip away to your bedroom.
As you walked up the stairs, Logan trailed behind you, like always. You were tired of this, of the flirting, how he did it back to you, but how nothing ever happened.
Well tonight you were done with that.
You opened your bedroom door and sat on the bed, quickly slipping off your heels and tossing them carelessly across the room. The muffled sounds of laughter and clinking glasses filtered up from downstairs, where the party raged on. Logan stood in the doorway, as he always did, watching you in that silent, intense way that had been driving you crazy for months.
You looked up at him, your fingers playing with the hem of your short yellow dress, the fabric brushing against your thighs as you shifted on the bed. âYou cominâ in, or are you just gonna stand there all night?â
Logan didnât respond right away, his jaw ticking as his eyes flicked over you, taking in the sight of you sitting there, legs crossed, your dress riding up just enough to tease. He sighed, stepping into the room but staying near the door. âYour old manâs got half the city downstairs, Y/N. This ainât the time.â
You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at your lips. âSince when do you care about my dad? Heâs not your boss.â
He crossed his arms over his chest, the leather of his jacket creaking. âHe pays me to keep you safe, not⊠this.â
You stood up from the bed, taking a step toward him. âThis?â you repeated, voice playful, but you could feel the tension in the air thickening. âAnd what is âthis,â Logan?â
He didnât answer, just stood there, his eyes dark and unreadable, but you could see the way his body tensed when you got closer, the way his gaze flicked down to your legs before snapping back up to your face.
You reached out, your fingers brushing against the rough material of his flannel, and you could feel the heat of his body through the layers of fabric. He stiffened, his hand catching your wrist, but it wasnât harsh. Just enough to stop you.
âY/N, donât,â he warned, his voice low, rough.
You tilted your head, stepping even closer until your body was almost pressed against his. âWhy not?â you asked softly. âYouâve been following me around for months. Always there, always watching. What are you so afraid of?â
âIâm not afraid,â he muttered, but his grip on your wrist tightened just a little, like he was holding himself back. âYouâre too young for this. I work for your dad.â
You pulled your wrist free, undeterred, your hand now resting against his chest. âIâm not a kid, Logan. And you donât work for himâyou work for me. Youâve been protecting me, havenât you?â
His eyes narrowed. âThatâs not what I mean, and you know it.â
âThen what do you mean?â you shot back, moving even closer, your fingers trailing up to his shoulder, over the leather of his jacket. âYouâve been pulling away from me every time I get close, but you keep coming back.â
Loganâs jaw clenched, his hands hovering near your waist, as if he was afraid to touch you. âYouâre drunk.â
âIâm not drunk,â you said firmly, your voice steady. âAnd you know that.â You pressed a little harder, your lips just inches from his jaw, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his skin. âYou donât have to keep pretending like you donât want this.â
His hands shot up to your shoulders, gripping you tightly, but he didnât push you away this time. His breathing was heavier now, the muscles in his arms tensing as if he was fighting against himself. âYou donât know what youâre asking for,â he growled, his voice barely above a whisper.
âMaybe not,â you admitted, your lips brushing the stubble on his jaw as you spoke. âBut I know what I want.â
Logan groaned low in his throat, his fingers tightening on your shoulders, but still, he didnât push you away. His resistance was crumbling, you could feel it.
âYouâre not a kid,â he repeated quietly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
âNo,â you whispered back, your lips ghosting along the side of his neck, your hands moving to his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. âIâm not.â
In a swift movement, you pushed him back toward the chair in the corner of the room, his legs hitting the edge as you guided him down. He sat heavily, his hands falling from your shoulders to your hips, still trying to hold onto that last bit of control.
You straddled his thigh, your dress riding up as you settled against him, the heat of your body pressed against the denim of his jeans. His hands moved up to your waist, holding you in place, but the look in his eyes told you he was barely holding on.
âY/N,â he rasped, but his voice was shaky, uncertain.
You didnât give him time to think. You started moving, rocking your hips against his thigh, slow at first, testing. His grip on your waist tightened, his eyes darkening as he watched you, the tension in his body radiating through his hands.
He wasnât stopping you.
You bit your lip, your breath hitching as you pressed harder against him, the friction sending a jolt of heat through you. Logan groaned, his hands sliding down to your hips, holding you steady as you moved. His control was slipping, and you could feel it.
âFuck,â he muttered under his breath, his head falling back against the chair, his eyes squeezed shut.
You leaned forward, your lips brushing his ear. âStill think Iâm too young?â
Loganâs jaw clenched, his hands gripping you harder as you rocked against him, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against the thin material of your underwear. Every movement sent sparks of pleasure through you, and you could tell from the way his breathing quickened that he was feeling it too.
His hands slid up your sides, fingers digging into your skin as he tried to pull you closer, but you were in control now. You pressed your lips to his neck, kissing the exposed skin, feeling the tension in his body as you kissed down toward his collarbone, your fingers tangling in his shirt.
Logan groaned, his hands gripping you tighter as you moved faster, grinding against his thigh with more urgency. The heat between your legs was almost unbearable now, the pressure building with every movement, every gasp that escaped your lips.
Logan's eyes were shut tight, head thrown back against the chair, his hands gripping your waist like he was the one trying to stay grounded. But you werenât stopping, not after all the months of back-and-forth, all the moments youâd caught him watching you with that dark, unreadable look. The friction, the heat pooling between your legs, was everything youâd been waiting for, and it was clear from the roughness of his breathing that he wasnât far behind.
You pressed harder, your hips rolling against his thigh as you gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. The thin fabric of your dress had ridden up, and you knew he could feel just how soaked you were through the denim of his jeans. His hands were at your waist, digging into your skin in a way that bordered on painful but only made you push down harder, rocking your hips with more insistence.
Loganâs voice was rough when he finally spoke, his hands tightening as if he was trying to keep himself from pulling you in closer. âY/N⊠youâre playinâ with fire here,â he growled, the words thick, like he was barely holding back.
You ignored him, pressing a little harder, your lips hovering just over the edge of his jaw as you breathed, âMaybe I like the heat.â
His jaw clenched, but his hands slid up, settling just under your ribs, holding you steady as you moved. Each shift of your hips brought another groan out of him, the sound vibrating through his chest and sending a thrill straight through you. You could feel yourself getting closer, your breath coming in shallow gasps as the pressure built, the heat between your legs almost too much to bear.
âLogan,â you whispered, your hands slipping up to tangle in his hair, pulling his face closer. You could see the restraint etched across his face, the way his jaw was clenched tight, like he was struggling to keep himself from giving in. âI need you.â
His hands tensed on your waist, fingers digging in harder, his breathing growing rougher with every word that slipped from your lips. But he didnât pull away; if anything, he held you tighter, letting you grind against him, the rough denim of his jeans rubbing against you in a way that left you breathless, desperate.
âYou know what youâre doinâ to me?â he muttered, his voice barely more than a growl as his eyes met yours, dark and full of something youâd been longing to see for months.
âMaybe,â you replied, a small, breathless smile tugging at your lips as you kept moving, kept pressing closer, feeling the tension between you both thicken until it was almost unbearable. âMaybe I want to see how far youâll let me go.â
Logan groaned, his grip tightening as his eyes fell shut again, his hands shifting to guide your hips, helping you keep up the steady rhythm that was driving you both closer to the edge. You leaned forward again, your lips brushing against his neck, pressing soft kisses along the exposed skin as you rocked against him, the heat building with every second.
âY/N,â he rasped, his voice so low it sent a shiver through you. âYouâre⊠youâre so damnââ
You cut him off, pressing your lips to the spot just under his ear, feeling the way his breath hitched as your hips ground down harder. You were close, every nerve ending on fire, and you could feel that he was, too. His hands were everywhere, sliding up your back, pressing you closer, holding you tight like he was afraid to let go.
And then, finally, the pressure broke. You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders as your hips stilled, your body shuddering against him. Loganâs grip on your waist tightened, his own breath hitching as he held you steady, his hands warm and solid as you rode out the waves of pleasure.
He was quiet for a long moment, his breathing heavy, and you could feel the way his body had tensed beneath you, the strain in his hands as he held himself back. Slowly, you looked up, meeting his gaze, and the intensity in his eyes made your breath catch all over again.
Without a word, Logan shifted, his hands sliding down to hook under your thighs as he stood, lifting you with a strength that sent another thrill through you. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he carried you to the bed, the heat in his gaze leaving no room for second thoughts, no hesitation. This was it, and you were ready.
He laid you down, his hands lingering on your thighs, his fingers brushing over your skin as he looked down at you, his expression a mix of hunger and restraint. You reached up, tugging him closer until he was hovering over you, his weight pressing down just enough to make you feel secure, safe.
This was what youâd been waiting for, what youâd both been skirting around for too long. Loganâs hands slid up your sides, his fingers trailing along the fabric of your dress, and you felt your breath hitch as his gaze darkened, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
His thumbs brushed the exposed skin just above the low neckline of your dress, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You watched him, eyes locked on his as he leaned in, his jaw tight, the hunger in his gaze barely restrained. The room felt smaller, warmer, like the air had thickened between you.
And then, finally, his mouth was on yours.
The kiss was desperate, wild, like he was making up for lost time. His lips claimed yours with a roughness that sent a shiver down your spine, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if he couldnât stand the distance. You gasped against his mouth, your fingers finding their way into his hair, tugging him down harder.
It had been seventy-three years since heâd last kissed youânearly three quarters of a century of holding backâand the intensity of it showed. It was all-consuming, like he was trying to make up for every second heâd denied himself this.
Logan groaned into your mouth, a deep, almost pained sound, and the desperation in it made your blood race. He kissed you like he was starving, like he needed this, needed you, and you felt your body melt into him. His hands slid down your body, rough and sure, stopping at your hips to pull you flush against him. The heat between your legs was almost unbearable, and the friction of his jeans against your thighs only made it worse.
You broke the kiss for air, your breaths coming fast, but Logan didnât stop. His mouth found your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the curve of your throat, teeth scraping against your skin just enough to make you gasp. His hands were everywhere, tracing the curve of your waist, the swell of your hips, gripping you with a possessiveness that sent a thrill through you.
âLogan,â you whispered, your voice breathless, needy. You tilted your head back, giving him better access as his lips continued their descent, leaving a path of fire along your skin. Your hands fisted in his flannel, pulling him closer, and he groaned again, the sound vibrating through your body.
âGod, Y/N,â he rasped, his voice thick with desire, like he was barely holding on. His hands slipped under your dress, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your thighs, and you shivered, your breath catching in your throat. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes heavy-lidded, pupils blown wide with need. âYouâre gonna be the death of me,â he muttered, but the words were laced with something softer, something that made your heart skip.
You didnât reply, just pulled him down for another kiss, this one just as desperate as the first. Your hands roamed over his chest, slipping beneath the open flannel to feel the heat of his skin, the hard muscles that tensed under your touch. Logan shivered, his breath catching as your fingers brushed against his bare chest, and you felt a rush of satisfaction at the way he reacted to you.
His jacket slipped from his shoulders, landing somewhere on the floor, but neither of you paid it any mind. Your hands were already pushing the flannel off him, revealing more of his skin, and Logan helped you, shrugging it off with a growl of impatience. The white beater he wore beneath clung to his chest, and you could see the way his muscles flexed beneath it, the way the fabric stretched taut over his shoulders.
He leaned back down, capturing your lips in another searing kiss, and you moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his shoulders. Loganâs hands were back under your dress, sliding up, leaving trails of heat in their wake. His touch was rough, calloused, but so incredibly gentle in a way that made your heart ache. You arched into him, your body pressing closer, desperate for more, for everything he was willing to give.
âFuck,â he muttered against your mouth, his hands sliding higher until his thumbs brushed the edge of your panties. He paused, breathing heavily, his eyes searching yours, looking for any sign of hesitation. But there was none. You were all in, had been from the moment youâd first seen him.
You reached down, grabbing his wrists and guiding his hands further up, silently urging him on. Loganâs breath hitched, and his eyes darkened even more, a low growl rumbling in his chest. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, and you could feel your heart pounding as he tugged, the thin fabric slipping down your legs.
"Fuck, Y/N," he growled, his voice thick with need as his calloused hands slid back up your thighs, pushing your dress higher. "You're so damn wet already."
You gasped as his fingers brushed against your center, your hips jerking up instinctively. "Logan, please," you whimpered, reaching for him.
He leaned down to kiss you hard, his tongue pushing into your mouth as his fingers began exploring you properly. The roughness of his hands contrasted with how gently he touched you, like he was afraid of breaking you. You moaned into his mouth as he slid one thick finger inside, your hands gripping his shoulders.
"That's it, darlin'," he murmured against your lips. "Let me hear you."
Your dress was bunched around your waist now as Logan worked another finger into you, stretching you carefully. Your earlier orgasm had left you sensitive, making every touch feel electric. His thumb found your clit and began rubbing slow circles that had you writhing beneath him.
"Logan," you gasped, your nails digging into his skin through his beater. "I needâah!âI need more."
He growled low in his throat, curling his fingers inside you. "Tell me what you need, Y/N. Say it."
Your face flushed but you met his eyes. "I need you inside me. Please, Logan. I've wanted this for so long."
Something dark and possessive flashed in his eyes. He withdrew his fingers, making you whimper at the loss, and reached down to undo his belt. The metal clinked as he pulled it free, the sound sending a thrill through you.
You sat up enough to pull your dress over your head, leaving you in just your bra. Logan's eyes raked over you hungrily as he pushed his jeans down his hips. The obvious bulge in his boxers made your mouth go dry.
"Come here," he growled, pulling you into another searing kiss as his hands found the clasp of your bra. It took him only seconds to undo it, and then you were bare before him, your nipples hardening in the cool air.
Logan's mouth moved to your neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks as his hands cupped your breasts. You moaned as he rolled your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his touch.
"Fuck, you're perfect," he muttered against your skin, his voice rough. He shifted to take one nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak as you gasped and squirmed beneath him.
Your hands found the hem of his beater, tugging insistently until he pulled back long enough to yank it off. The sight of his bare chest, all hard muscle and dark hair, made heat pool between your legs. There were old scars scattered across his skin - remnants of wounds time hadn't quite erased.
You reached for his boxers but he caught your wrists, pinning them above your head with one large hand. "Not yet," he growled, his free hand sliding down between your legs again. "Want to make sure you're ready for me."
His fingers found your clit again and you cried out, oversensitive and desperate. "Logan, please," you begged, trying to buck your hips up against his hand. "I'm ready, I swear. I need you now."
He studied your face for a long moment, his eyes dark with desire, before releasing your wrists. "Take them off," he ordered, nodding to his boxers.
Your hands shook slightly as you pushed the fabric down his hips, freeing his cock. He was huge, thick and hard, already leaking at the tip. You wrapped your hand around him, stroking slowly, and Logan's breath hitched.
"Careful, darlin'," he warned, his voice strained. "Been wanting this too long to end it early."
He pushed you back onto the bed, settling between your spread thighs. The head of his cock brushed against your entrance and you both groaned. Logan braced himself on his forearms above you, his eyes locked on yours.
"You sure about this?" he asked, his voice rough but gentle. "Once I start, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "I'm sure. Please, Logan. I want you."
He kissed you hard as he began pushing inside, swallowing your gasps as he stretched you open. The burn was intense but perfect, your body gradually adjusting to his size. Logan moved slowly, giving you time to adapt, but you could feel the tension in his muscles as he held himself back.
"Fuck," he groaned when he was finally fully seated inside you. "So tight, darlin'. Feel so good around me."
You clutched at his shoulders, panting. "Move," you urged. "Please, I needâ"
Logan pulled back and thrust forward again, setting a steady rhythm that had you seeing stars. Each stroke hit something deep inside you that made pleasure spark through your whole body. His hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he fucked into you with increasing force.
"That's it," he growled, watching your face contort with pleasure. "Take it, Y/N. Take all of me."
Your nails raked down his back as the pressure built inside you again. Logan's thrusts grew harder, faster, driving you both toward the edge. The headboard banged against the wall with each movement but neither of you cared about the noise.
"Logan," you gasped, feeling yourself getting close. "I'm gonnaâah!"
"Come for me," he ordered, his voice rough. One hand slid between your bodies to rub your clit. "Want to feel you come on my cock."
The added stimulation pushed you over the edge. You came with a cry, your body clenching around him as waves of pleasure crashed over you. Logan growled, his rhythm faltering as your walls pulsed around him.
"Fuck, Y/N," he groaned, his thrusts growing erratic. "Where do you wantâ"
"Inside," you gasped, still riding the aftershocks. "Please, Logan. Wanna feel you."
He cursed, his hips snapping forward a few more times before he buried himself deep with a growl, spilling inside you. You could feel him pulsing, filling you up as he collapsed onto his forearms above you.
For several long moments, the only sound was your heavy breathing. Logan's forehead rested against yours, his eyes closed as he caught his breath. You ran your hands up and down his back, feeling the sweat-slick skin under your palms.
Finally, he pulled out carefully and rolled onto his side, pulling you with him. You winced slightly at the soreness between your legs, but it was a good kind of ache. Logan's arms wrapped around you, holding you close against his chest.
---
Logan let out a low groan as he woke, the bed beneath him feeling far too comfortable, unfamiliar in a way that immediately set him on edge. It took a second for his mind to catch up, piecing together where he was and, more importantly, who he was with.
He didnât need to look over to feel the warmth beside him, or the way your hair fanned out across the pillow. It hit him all at onceâthe heat of your skin against his, the way youâd leaned into him last night, confident, unrestrained. He opened his eyes, gaze finding you lying beside him, face soft and peaceful in sleep, an arm draped over his chest as if youâd claimed him in the night.
Logan sighed, glancing at the ceiling, but couldnât help looking down at you again, still asleep and blissfully unaware of the storm in his head. Heâd known it was a bad idea from the start, coming upstairs with you last night, letting his guard down. But damn, when youâd gotten close, pushing him toward that chair with that look in your eyesâheâd been gone the second youâd touched him.
He was even further gone when he had finally kissed youâit was one of his biggest regrets the last time he had seen you back in 1943âhe never held you the way he wanted to. Too afraid that maybe he was the problem, the reason you kept on dying over and over.
And because of that, he hadnât been this close to you since 1900.
It was strange, being here like thisâletting his guard down after all those lives, all those memories of watching you fade out of his reach. A part of him had always tried to keep a distance, to save himself from the heartbreak he knew was coming. But last night⊠last night, heâd been weak.
He brushed a thumb over your arm without thinking, lost in thought. It was impossible not to wonder, with you lying beside him like this, what it would be like if this time were different. If, just once, he could hold onto you, let himself believe youâd stay.
But he knew better.
His hand lingered on your skin a moment too long, and he felt you stir, your lashes fluttering as you slowly opened your eyes. A soft smile touched your lips when you saw him, and he felt his resolve crack just a little more.
âMorninâ,â he murmured, his voice rougher than heâd meant.
âMmm,â you hummed, still sleepy, your fingers tracing a lazy pattern over his chest. âDidnât think youâd still be here.â You said it lightly, but there was a hint of something else thereârelief, maybe. âGuess I finally wore you out.â
Logan huffed, his lips tugging into a smirk. âGuess so.â
You shifted to look at him, your eyes bright with that familiar mischief. âSo, whatâs your excuse this time?â
He raised a brow. âExcuse?â
âYeah. For pulling away,â you said, your tone casual but pointed. âYouâve always got one.â
Loganâs jaw clenched slightly, and he broke eye contact, looking away. âItâs complicated, Y/N.â
You reached up, cupping his face and guiding his gaze back to you. âThatâs what you always say. Doesnât mean it has to be.â
He was silent for a moment, searching your face. He could feel the weight of his past with you, all those memories stacking up like a dam holding back a flood. But he couldnât let you in on that. Couldnât make you carry the burden of knowing youâd livedâand diedâso many times before. It was his cross to bear, not yours.
âMaybe I just donât want you getting hurt,â he finally said, his voice quieter, a touch raw.
You let out a short, incredulous laugh. âPlease, Logan. You think I donât know what Iâm doing?â
Logan just shook his head, but he couldnât help the small, amused smile that crept onto his face. âYouâre a handful, you know that?â
âIâve heard that once or twice,â you teased, running your hand along his chest. âLucky for you, I donât scare easy.â
That hint of defiance in your voice tugged at something deep inside him, and he caught your hand, holding it in his as he looked into your eyes. âYou say that now. But Iâve got a way of⊠complicating things.â
Your gaze softened, but there was still a spark there, unyielding. âGood thing I like complicated.â
Loganâs eyes darkened, and for a second, he felt that familiar pull, the urge to tell you everythingâto let you in on the truth of why he was here, why he couldnât stay away. But he stopped himself, the weight of all those lost lifetimes bearing down on him again. He couldnât do that to you, not this time.
âThen I guess Iâm stuck with you,â he said, trying to keep his tone light, even though his grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly.
âGuess so,â you replied with a grin, shifting closer. You tilted your head, eyes narrowing as you studied him. âLogan?â
âYeah?â
âAre you ever gonna stop acting like youâre some kind of curse?â Your voice was soft but firm, like you were daring him to argue.
Logan went silent, his gaze flickering away from yours. Youâd hit closer to the truth than you knew.
âDonât know if I can,â he admitted after a pause. âItâs⊠complicated.â He shrugged, hoping youâd leave it at that.
But, of course, you didnât. âThen I guess Iâll just have to keep proving you wrong,â you murmured, pressing a light kiss to his jaw, a warm reassurance that only made him feel the pull of his past even stronger.
He didnât answer, just closed his eyes, letting himself savor this one small, stolen moment with you. Just this once, heâd allow himself that. Because deep down, he knew heâd always lose you in the end.
And this time, he was determined to make it last as long as he could. Maybe, just maybe, even put that ring to use.
---
You were back at the dog shelter, this time staying a little bit longer since one of the workers, Amelia, was out sick.
Lorraine handed you a few leashes, âmind taking some of âem out for a walk?â
You happily grabbed the roped leashes, âof course.â Then you glanced over at Logan, who had been eyeing the dogs with a mix of amusement and reservation. âYou up for walkinâ some too?â
He raised an eyebrow at you, then at the leashes in your hand, but there was a hint of a smirk playing at his lips. âDidnât take you for a dog wrangler, Y/N.â
You laughed, clipping one of the leashes onto a small brown mutt who was practically bouncing with excitement. âCome on, Logan. Whatâre you afraid of? They donât biteâwell, not all of them, anyway.â
Logan chuckled, reluctantly stepping forward. âRight. Long as they donât try to drag me down the street.â
You handed him a leash attached to a shaggy, medium-sized dog with big brown eyes, looking up at him expectantly. âHere. This oneâs named Ringo. Heâs a sweetheart.â
Logan eyed the dog suspiciously before giving the leash a little tug, testing the waters. âRingo, huh?â He knelt down and patted the dogâs head, a faint smile crossing his face as the dog leaned into his touch. âGuess youâre alright.â
You couldnât help but smile at the sight. âSee? He likes you already.â As you finished leashing up a few more of the dogs, you handed the leashes to Logan. âThink you can handle these guys too?â
Logan took the leashes without complaint, looking down at the little group of dogs at his feet. âGuess I donât have much choice.â
âGood answer,â you teased, giving him a wink before heading toward the door. You led the way outside, the two of you walking side-by-side with the dogs trotting happily along. It was a warm day, and the sun was shining down, casting a soft glow over everything.
Logan glanced over at you as you moved down the sidewalk together, the dogs tugging excitedly at their leashes. You had a carefree smile on your face, and he found himself watching you more than the path ahead, the memory of a few nights ago still vivid in his mind. The thought of it sent a thrill through himâyet at the same time, a pang of dread.
âYou always this happy walking dogs, or is it just âcause Iâm here?â he teased, a little smirk tugging at his lips.
You shot him a playful look. âGuess youâll never know.â You nudged him lightly with your shoulder, eyes bright with mischief. âBut if you keep coming with me, you might find out.â
He let out a small laugh, his gaze softening as he looked away. Even after all these years, you could still surprise himâlike the way youâd drag him to places like this or the way you talked about the little things with such enthusiasm. It was one of those qualities he remembered about you from lifetimes ago, and it hadnât changed. It made him feel like maybe, somehow, this was different.
As you walked a little further, one of the dogsâa scruffy little terrierâyipped and tugged at Loganâs leash, trying to chase after a pigeon. He grunted, holding the leash tightly and muttering, âSettle down, mutt. Youâre not goinâ anywhere.â
You laughed, glancing over with an amused smile. âRingoâs got more energy than youâd think, huh?â
Logan shook his head, but he couldnât help but smile. âYeah, well, maybe I should be takinâ notes from him.â He looked at you then, and his expression softened. âYouâve really got a thing for these dogs, donât ya?â
Your smile faded into something more thoughtful as you looked down at the furry pack in front of you. âI dunno. I guess theyâre just⊠easy to be around. They donât care about who my father is or what I doâthey just want someone to be with them, you know?â
Logan nodded, watching the way you interacted with the dogs, your fingers lightly brushing over their heads, your voice soft as you spoke to them. Youâd always had that kindness about you, that gentleness that made him want to believe in something better, something⊠safe.
âYouâre good with âem,â he said quietly, almost to himself.
You looked up at him, a smile in your eyes. âYou know, youâre not so bad with them either, Logan.â
He chuckled, shaking his head. âNah, I think Iâll leave the dog-wranglinâ to you.â
For a while, you walked in comfortable silence, the bustling city around you fading into the background as you wandered through the neighborhood with the dogs. Finally, you reached a small park, and you stopped to let the dogs sniff around.
As they explored, you took a seat on a nearby bench, patting the spot beside you. Logan hesitated for a second before joining you, stretching his legs out in front of him.
You looked over at him, your expression soft. âThanks for coming today. I know this probably isnât your ideal way to spend an afternoon.â
Logan shrugged, trying to act casual, but he couldnât hide the warmth in his gaze. âWouldnât be here if I didnât wanna be,â he said, his voice low.
The sincerity in his words made your heart skip a beat, and you looked away, feeling a little bashful. You fiddled with one of the leashes, clearing your throat. âYou know⊠the more time we spend together, the more I wonder how long youâre planning to stick around.â
He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he considered his answer. He wanted to tell you the truthâthat heâd been watching you, waiting for you, for so many lifetimes. But he couldnât. Instead, he reached out, his hand covering yours where it rested on the bench.
âAs long as youâll have me,â he said quietly.
The words hung between you, and for a moment, it was like the whole world had faded away. You looked up at him, your eyes searching his, trying to read the depths of his expression.
A soft smile touched your lips, and you squeezed his hand. âThen youâre gonna be around for a long time, Logan.â
He felt a strange, hopeful ache in his chest at your words, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, this time, things could be different.
The dogs barked, breaking the spell, and you both laughed, pulling away as you got up to wrangle them again. But even as you continued on your walk, he stayed close by your side, his hand occasionally brushing yours as you walkedâalmost as if he was reminding himself that you were real, that you were here with him.
---
Late one night, you lay beside Logan in the dim light filtering through the window, the cityâs night sounds a steady hum in the distance. Your head rested on his chest, your fingers tracing lazy circles over the skin above his heart, feeling the steady beat beneath your touch.
Logan shifted slightly, his hand coming up to rest gently on your back. For a long time, he just lay there, watching you in silence, his thumb brushing along your spine. You could tell he was relaxed, but there was something elseâa quiet intensity in the way his gaze lingered on you, a heaviness in the air that made your heart race.
âWhatâre you thinkinâ about?â you murmured, letting your fingers trail up to his collarbone. You glanced up at him, catching the faintest hint of a smile as he met your eyes.
âJust⊠wonderinâ how I got roped into all this,â he said, the corner of his mouth lifting. But the glint in his eyes gave him away, and you saw something softer there.
âYeah? Doesnât seem like you mind too much.â You smirked, giving his chest a light pat. âIâd almost say youâre gettinâ attached.â
He snorted, pulling you a little closer, his arm tightening around you. âCould say the same for you,â he replied, his voice low, almost teasing. âYouâre insatiable, yâknow that?â
You laughed, and the sound was soft in the quiet room. âYouâre the one who keeps showinâ up, Logan. If you wanted me to behave, youâd stay away.â
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. âMaybe I donât want you to behave.â
Your fingers stilled on his chest, and you looked up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye. âSo you like me like this, then? A little reckless⊠a little spoiled?â you teased.
He chuckled, his eyes softening as he looked at you. âYeah,â he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. âThink I do.â
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words, and you settled back against his chest, letting your hand rest over his heart. For a while, neither of you said anything, the silence comfortable, his warmth grounding you. It was a rare kind of peaceâone that youâd come to cherish whenever you were with him.
But then, curiosity got the better of you, and you lifted your head, giving him a thoughtful look. âLogan,â you began, your voice hesitant. âHow long are you gonna stick around? I mean⊠I know my dad thinks youâre just here for protection, but⊠it feels like more than that.â
Loganâs gaze darkened, a flash of something unreadable passing over his face. He glanced away, his jaw tensing as he seemed to search for the right words. âAs long as you want me here, Iâm not goinâ anywhere.â
The weight of his words hung between you, and you felt your heart skip a beat. âThen donât,â you whispered, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek. âI donât want you to.â
He didnât say anything in response, but his hand slipped up to cup the back of your head, pulling you down into a slow, lingering kiss. There was something different about it this time, a quiet desperation that made your pulse quicken, like he was trying to hold on to this moment, to keep it from slipping away.
When you finally pulled back, you searched his eyes, wondering what was going through his mind. âYouâre not gonna let me go, are you?â
A small smile tugged at his lips, though his gaze was still shadowed. âNot a chance, darlinâ.â
You felt a surge of affection for him then, this man whoâd somehow become both your protector and your closest confidant. He was rough around the edges, guarded and distant with everyone elseâbut with you, he was different. You brought out a softness in him, a warmth that felt as though it had been buried for a long, long time.
Without thinking, you reached up and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, your fingertips lingering against his skin. âYou know, for a guy whoâs supposed to be my bodyguard, youâre doing a terrible job at keeping things professional,â you teased, though there was no bite in your words.
Logan let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. âYouâre the one makinâ things complicated, Y/N.â
âMaybe.â You smirked, your fingers still tracing over his chest. âBut you donât seem to mind.â
He looked at you then, something fierce in his eyes, and for a moment, you saw a glimpse of the man heâd beenâa man whoâd loved and lost, whoâd carried scars from lifetimes past. You wondered if he would ever tell you his story, if he would ever let you in on the secrets he guarded so closely.
But for now, you were content with the silence, with the feel of his heartbeat beneath your hand, with the quiet reassurance that he wasnât going anywhere.
As the night wore on, you lay there together, wrapped up in each other, the world outside fading away. And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
---
Your father had asked you to come to his office in the spacious house. At first it was nothing but muffled voices from outside the door, until Logan heard your father speak again, for a longer period of time, causing your own voice to rise.
While Logan couldnât make out the words you were saying even with his enhanced hearing, he could tell you werenât happy. Your voice carried that sharp edge you only got when something really struck a nerve, and judging by the way you didnât hold back, it had to be serious.
Logan lingered just outside the heavy, mahogany door of your fatherâs office, his fists clenched as he heard your voice rising behind it. It was clear you were upset, and whatever was being discussed inside, you didnât like it. Heâd seen you frustrated, angry even, but never like thisâthere was a desperation in your tone that sent a chill through him.
Moments later, the door flew open, and you stormed out, cheeks flushed with anger, eyes flashing as you spotted him. You barely paused, brushing past him, but Logan caught your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
âY/N,â he said, his voice low. âWhat happened?â
You turned to face him, anger and hurt swirling in your eyes. âHeâs⊠heâs marrying me off, Logan. To that family. After everything he promised meâhe said heâd never force me into something like this.â
Loganâs expression hardened. âWhat are you talkinâ about? He canât just⊠marry you off like some kind of deal.â
Your hands were shaking as you brushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear, struggling to keep your composure. âApparently, he can. Thereâs been this feud with the Romano family for years, and he says this is the only way to keep the peace. To protect me. Protect us.â
Loganâs jaw clenched. He felt a familiar anger rising in him, a deep, protective instinct heâd been fighting to keep under wraps. âSo, heâs just gonna throw you into a marriage you donât want? You donât even know this guy, do you?â
You shook your head, looking away. âI met him once. He was⊠polite enough. But thatâs not the point, Logan. I donât want to marry himâor anyone like this. My father always said heâd let me choose, that he wouldnât⊠sell me off.â The bitterness in your tone stung, your gaze distant as if replaying the conversation.
Logan searched your face, feeling an ache he couldnât put into words. âAnd he knows how you feel about this?â
You swallowed, nodding. âI told him, but he says I donât understand the bigger picture, that this is whatâs best for everyone.â You gave a hollow laugh, looking down. âFor everyone but me.â
He felt a pang of guilt, knowing he was just a bodyguard, technically part of the arrangement meant to keep you safe from any threats. But you were more than just a job to him, and the thought of you being forced into something like this made his blood boil. He let out a rough breath, stepping closer. âY/N, you donât have to go along with this. Not if you donât want to.â
Your gaze softened as you looked up at him. âAnd what am I supposed to do, Logan? Run off in the middle of the night?â You gave a small, bitter smile. âI donât even know where Iâd go.â
He didnât hesitate, his voice dropping low. âThen we go together. If you donât wanna go through with this, weâll figure somethinâ else out.â
Your breath hitched at his words, and for a moment, the anger and hurt seemed to fade, replaced by something warmer, more uncertain. âYouâd really⊠leave everything?â
He shrugged, almost nonchalant, but there was a fierce determination in his eyes. âI got no reason to stay here if youâre not here, too.â
You hesitated, torn between the depth of his offer and the weight of the decision you knew would follow. Finally, you gave a small nod, as if grounding yourself in the moment. âI donât know whatâs gonna happen, Logan, but⊠I just need to know youâre here. That Iâm not going through this alone.â
He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering. âIâm not goinâ anywhere, Y/N. You got my word on that.â
There was a silence between you, thick and charged, each of you processing the weight of everything unsaid. His gaze stayed locked on yours, and for a moment, the anger and fear in your eyes softened, replaced by something closer to relief. And then, almost impulsively, you took his hand, squeezing it tight.
âThank you, Logan. I⊠I needed to hear that,â you said softly, glancing away before meeting his gaze again, vulnerability written all over your face. âJust⊠donât let go, okay?â
He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, his voice barely above a whisper. âNot a chance, darlinâ.â
---
Nancy was doing your hair once again for the dinner with the Romano family. You had tried everything over the past few weeks, trying to convince your father that this didnât have to happen. That he promised you he would never do this.
But no matter what you did, he was firm in his stance, "you're getting married to Clyde, and that's final."
You sat still, staring at your reflection in the mirror as Nancy pinned up the last of your curls. Your face looked composed, serene even, but beneath it, there was a storm brewingâa knot of anger and dread you couldnât shake. Every time you thought about that dinner tonight, your stomach twisted. Clyde Romano. A stranger. And yet, your father had decided this was your future, and nothing you said seemed to change his mind.
Nancy, sensing the tension, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Itâll be alright, Y/N. Youâll be surrounded by family."
Family. Right. But none of them seemed to understand how trapped you felt. You forced a tight-lipped smile, nodding. "Thanks, Nancy."
As she stepped back, there was a light knock at the door. You turned to see Logan standing there, looking slightly uncomfortable in his formal attire but as steadfast as ever. His gaze softened as he took in your appearance, though he quickly masked it.
"Didnât mean to interrupt," he said, glancing between you and Nancy. "Just wanted to make sure youâre ready."
Nancy finished adjusting your hair and excused herself, leaving you alone with Logan. You looked at him, searching his face, hoping for some kind of lifeline.
"Logan," you murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like Iâm being dragged somewhere I canât escape from."
He stepped closer, his expression darkening as he listened. âYouâre not alone in this, Y/N. You know Iâm with you, whatever you decide.â His hand reached out, brushing against your arm, his touch grounding you.
You drew in a shaky breath, steadying yourself. âWhat if I decide to just⊠disappear?â you asked, half-joking but mostly serious.
Loganâs eyes met yours, and you saw the unspoken resolve there. âThen Iâll be right behind you. Doesnât matter where.â
For a moment, you let yourself believe itâthat you could simply run, with Logan at your side. But reality crashed back in, and you dropped your gaze.
"I wish it were that simple," you whispered, clenching your fists. "But if I leave, it could tear everything apart."
Loganâs hand settled over yours, his grip firm and reassuring. "Then we make it through tonight. And tomorrow, we figure out the rest. Youâre not facing this alone, darlinâ. Not as long as Iâm here."
You looked up at him, finding strength in his gaze. Heâd been your rock through all of this, his presence steady and unwavering. And tonight, that was what you needed most.
âAlright,â you murmured, giving him a small, grateful smile. âLetâs go face this⊠together.â
He nodded, his grip on your hand a silent promise. Whatever came next, you knew heâd be there, just as he always had been. And with that thought, you found the courage to head downstairs to face your familyâand the Romanosâone more time.
---
The dinner was at an Italian restaurant, one your father owned as cover for his business. Your dad sat at the head of the table while Clydeâs father sat at the other end. In front of you was your uncle Ermanno, who was also your dadâs consigliere, while Clyde sat next to you.
Logan, along with the other bodyguards, stood watch at the entrance of the private dining room, their silent gazes sweeping the place. He wore his usual hard expression, though his eyes softened just a touch when they found you across the room. Heâd been watching you all nightâcatching every little shift, each moment you looked down or forced a smile, every subtle tightening of your hand on the tablecloth.
Clyde Romano leaned in a little closer, his arm casually brushing against yours as he tried to make small talk. "So, Y/N, I hear youâve been helping out at a shelter?"
You nodded, barely meeting his eyes. âYeah, I volunteer with the dogs mostly. ItâsâŠnice to get away from all this sometimes.â You forced a smile, trying to keep things polite. You could feel your fatherâs gaze on you, watching for any misstep.
Clyde smiled back, but it felt too rehearsed. âWell, once weâre married, you wonât have to worry about shelters or anything like that. Youâll have enough responsibilities as a Romano.â
You felt your stomach twist at his words. Loganâs gaze sharpened from across the room as he picked up on the slight shift in your expression. You shot him a quick look, your eyes pleading for any kind of rescue. Loganâs jaw tightened, and for a brief moment, he almost looked like heâd step in. But he stayed put, his hands clenched behind his back.
Instead, he looked for the smallest opening. Just as Clydeâs attention was pulled away by his father, Logan slipped into view, leaning down beside you. âYou alright?â he murmured, low enough that only you could hear.
âNot even close,â you whispered back, your eyes fixed on your glass. âHeâs already talking about our future like⊠like itâs set in stone.â
Loganâs eyes flickered with something fierce. âWeâll get through this, Y/N. Tonightâs just another show. Nothing more.â His fingers brushed the back of your chair, the barely-there touch sending a wave of calm through you.
But Clydeâs voice cut back in before Logan could say anything more. âY/N, we were thinking of heading to Italy for the honeymoon. Itâll be a good chance to meet the rest of the family there.â
Your heart sank further. Italy. An entire ocean away, away from everything you knew, from everyone who mattered to you. âItaly,â you echoed, your voice strained but steady.
âYeah. The Romano estates are beautifulâbeaches, vineyards⊠a real paradise.â He seemed oblivious to your hesitation, already dreaming up plans youâd had no say in. Your father looked pleased, nodding his approval from his end of the table.
Logan straightened, but the look he gave you was unmistakable: You donât have to do this.
You swallowed, shifting in your seat as Clyde rambled on. When his focus shifted to his own father again, you leaned back just enough to whisper to Logan, âIâm not sure I can keep pretending.â
Loganâs expression softened, and for a second, he let a hint of his guard down. âYou donât have to, darlinâ.â His voice was low, almost tender, meant for you alone. âSay the word, and we walk outta here. Right now.â
The thought made your heart skip, but your gaze drifted toward your father, seated across the table with a look of satisfaction. Leaving wasnât just about you; it would mean defying him, challenging the life heâd molded for you. The thought felt like a mountain on your shoulders.
âI canât just walk away,â you said quietly. âHeâs⊠heâd never forgive me.â
Loganâs hand brushed yours under the table, a quiet show of support. âMaybe heâs the one who should be asking for forgiveness,â he murmured, his thumb tracing a light circle over your knuckles. The warmth of his touch settled something in you, steadying your breath.
You gave a tiny nod, squeezing his hand for just a second before pulling away. Logan straightened, stepping back to his post but still keeping his gaze on you. Clyde was oblivious, caught up in a conversation with his father about future business plans, each word feeling like a nail in the coffin.
Dinner dragged on, a blur of forced laughter and stiff conversation. Every time you felt yourself sinking, you looked toward Logan. He was there, solid and watchful, like a silent promise of something real in a room full of facades.
Eventually, the families began to wind down, talk shifting to more casual chatter. Clyde, emboldened by the nightâs success, reached over and took your hand, his grip possessive. âSoon, youâll be part of the family, Y/N. Youâll see. Youâll come to love it.â
Your mind screamed at the thought, every fiber of you wanting to pull away. But you held still, not daring to make a scene. Loganâs gaze narrowed, his jaw set as he took in the sight of Clydeâs hand around yours.
Finally, as the night came to an end and the families started to stand, Clyde leaned in with a smug smile. âReady to go? I thought weâd take a walk, just the two of us.â
Before you could answer, Logan was there, stepping in with a casual yet firm presence. âMr. Romano,â he said, addressing Clyde but looking right at you, âyour father asked to speak with you in private before you head out.â
Clyde frowned but nodded, reluctantly releasing your hand. âIâll be back soon, Y/N.â He disappeared toward the far end of the room, leaving you alone with Logan.
You let out a slow breath, the tension finally loosening from your shoulders. âThank you,â you whispered, looking up at him, gratitude spilling from every word.
Logan gave a slight nod. âCouldnât let him drag you out there without a say.â His voice was rough, but his eyes softened as he held your gaze. âYouâre not alone in this, Y/N. Whatever happens⊠you got me.â
The weight of the night lifted just a little, and for a moment, you almost believed you had a choice in all of this.
---
âA week?â you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper as you stood in your fatherâs office. The weight of the word seemed to pull you under, even as you fought to keep your voice steady.
Your fatherâs expression was impassive, arms crossed as he looked at you. âYes, Y/N. The Romano family wants to move quickly. They think itâs best, and I agree. Itâs time you take on this responsibility for the family.â
Your jaw clenched. You remembered the promises he made, back when you were younger, that heâd never force you into something like this. âI just⊠I donât understand. You always saidââ
âPeople change, Y/N,â he interrupted, his tone firm. âThis is whatâs best for you and for us. For the family.â
You shook your head, feeling a rush of helplessness. âAnd what about what I want? Iâve been trying to tell you for weeks that I donât want this, and youâre not listening.â
He exhaled sharply, the kind of sigh that signaled his patience was running thin. âThis isnât about what you want. I didnât raise you to be selfish.â
âSelfish?â The word stung, and you couldnât help the surge of anger that rose within you. âIâm asking for my life. How is that selfish?â
He frowned, unyielding. âEnough, Y/N. This is happening. Weâre done discussing it.â
Your breath hitched, but you forced yourself to stay composed. The walls of the office seemed to close in on you, the reality of it settling heavy and cold. You had a weekâseven daysâto either submit to this life heâd chosen for you or⊠what? You didnât even know.
Without another word, you turned and left, fighting the urge to slam the door behind you. The hall felt stifling as you walked out, your thoughts churning.
When you reached your room, Logan was there, waiting. The moment he saw your face, he stiffened. âWhat happened?â His voice was a low rumble, the concern clear.
âA week,â you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. âI have a week before he marries me off to Clyde.â
Loganâs jaw tightened, and you could see the flash of anger in his eyes. He stepped closer, his hand moving to rest on your shoulder. âSo thatâs it, then? Heâs just⊠throwing you to that bastard?â
You nodded, the words catching in your throat. âI donât know what to do, Logan. I tried everything, but he wonât listen. Heâs set on it.â
Loganâs hand slipped down, finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze, his rough fingers warm and grounding. You tightened your grip, the frustration and helplessness boiling inside you finally having somewhere to go.
âIâm supposed to just go along with it,â you muttered, bitterness seeping into your words. âAct like Iâm thrilled to be Clydeâs obedient little wife. Like my lifeâs just⊠his to take.â
Loganâs gaze darkened. âItâs not. You know that. And anyone who tries to take it without your say? They got me to deal with.â His voice was low and dangerous, a promise just for you.
You looked up, searching his face, a flicker of hope stirring. âBut what can we do, Logan? Heâs not going to listen to me. And if I push back too hard⊠I donât know what heâll do.â
âThen let me get you out of here,â Logan said, leaning in closer. His voice softened, gentler now. âWe can leave, right now if you want. Just say the word.â
Your heart twisted painfully, the temptation so fierce you almost said yes then and there. But reality clawed its way back, the weight of your fatherâs expectations and the tight grip he kept on every part of your life. Leaving would mean giving up everythingâand, deep down, you werenât sure you could risk it.
âWhat about my dad?â you whispered, feeling the weight of it pressing down again. âHeâs⊠heâd see it as betrayal, Logan. And what if he goes after you?â
A flicker of something familiar crossed Loganâs face, a shadow from a life you couldnât remember but that he clearly did. âY/N, donât worry about me,â he murmured. âBeen through worse.â He squeezed your hand a little tighter, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gesture so tender it nearly undid you. âAnd if heâs got a problem, then he can take it up with me.â
You let out a shaky breath, feeling the anger and fear give way just a bit. âYou say that now, but you havenât seen how he gets when people cross him. Heâd never forgive me, Logan. Heâd never forgive us.â
Loganâs hand moved to cup your face, his touch steadying you as his eyes met yours. âThen we donât need his forgiveness. We get you out, and I keep you safe. Whatever comes after, we face it together.â
The fierce certainty in his voice sent a warmth flooding through you, your resolve hardening under his gaze. âBut Clyde, the Romanoâs⊠they wonât just let it go.â
A smirk tugged at Loganâs mouth, the edge of defiance clear. âThen theyâll learn what happens when they mess with you. Ainât nobodyâs right to take away your freedom, Y/N. Not your old man, not Clyde, not anyone.â
A beat of silence stretched between you, his hand still warm against your cheek. Your fingers tightened around his, and for a second, all the anger and dread faded, leaving just you and him in the quiet of the room.
âWhat about⊠us?â The words slipped out before you could stop them, and for a second, you held your breath, waiting for his reaction.
Loganâs eyes softened, his gaze never leaving yours. âWhat about us, darlinâ?â He brushed a thumb along your cheek, his voice dropping to a low murmur. âYou think Iâd just leave you here to face this on your own?â
His words sent a rush of warmth through you, and before you knew it, you were leaning into him, his presence steady and unshakable. He let out a low sigh, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer, his other hand tracing gentle circles over your back.
âYouâre all Iâve got in this,â you whispered, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. âI canât lose you, too.â
âYou wonât,â he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, his hold tightening just enough to reassure you. âNot now, not ever.â
You stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in his embrace, the weight of everything slipping away in his arms. But eventually, reality crept back in, and you pulled back, catching the flicker of resolve in his gaze.
âIf we do thisâŠâ You paused, steadying yourself. âIf we leave, we need a plan.â
Logan gave a small nod, his hand still resting on yours. âWeâll figure it out. Tonight, weâre just gettinâ you through this.â
It was a promise, simple and unbreakable, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of hope stirring deep inside you.
---
The rehearsal dinner was held in a private room at the church a few days later; a grand, echoing place with gilded walls and tall stained-glass windows that cast colored light over everything. Clyde, his parents, and your family were all gathered, discussing wedding arrangements like it was a done deal, each word chipping away at any illusion of control you had left.
Logan and the other bodyguards stood at a respectful distance, keeping watch. He tried to keep his gaze neutral, but his eyes lingered on you longer than necessary, catching every forced smile and stiff nod you gave.
As the minister went through the motions, you and Clyde practiced exchanging vows. You held his hands, repeating words that felt like a foreign languageâlifeless, meaningless. Your eyes drifted toward Logan, and he gave you the barest nod, grounding you with that single, unspoken promise.
After the vows, Clyde leaned in close, his voice low and smug. âI think youâll come to love our life together, Y/N. Just give it time.â
You forced a polite smile, biting back the words you wanted to say. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Logan clench his fists, his face darkening.
Finally, as the rehearsal ended and people began drifting off, you made your way to a quiet corner, needing a moment alone. Logan slipped over to you, his movements subtle as he came to stand beside you.
âAre you alright?â he asked, his voice softer now that it was just the two of you.
You shook your head, feeling that familiar knot of dread twist tighter. âLogan, I donât think I can go through with this. But I donât know if I can run, either. Iâm⊠ Iâm stuck.â
He took a deep breath, his gaze intense as he looked down at you. âWhat if I told you that you didnât have to decide tonight?â he asked quietly. âThat we could just⊠take it one day at a time. You donât have to have all the answers right now.â
The tension in your shoulders eased a bit, and you met his eyes, finding strength in the certainty there. He wasnât pushing you, wasnât forcing anything on you. He was just⊠here, with you, in whatever way you needed.
âOkay,â you whispered, nodding slowly. âOne day at a time.â
Logan gave a small, reassuring smile. âThatâs all we need, darlinâ.â His hand brushed your shoulder, lingering just a second longer than necessary before he stepped back.
---
The day of the wedding had arrived, and you were dolled up, your makeup and hair were perfect, and your wedding dress was heavy, constricting, and large.
Once the makeup artists and hair stylists left, you had fled to the bathroom in the bridal suite and were currently hunched over the toilet. You hadnât thrown upâyetâbut you could feel the nausea and anxiousness rising.
You braced yourself against the counter, taking deep breaths as you tried to calm the twisting feeling in your stomach. The dress felt like a vice, heavy and restrictive, pressing on every nerve, suffocating in a way that went beyond fabric and lace. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping the queasiness would pass.
A knock at the door pulled you from the spinning in your head.
âY/N?â Nancyâs soft, steady voice filtered through, full of that motherly concern youâd come to rely on all your life.
You took a steadying breath, swallowing hard before calling out, âCome in, Nancy.â
The door creaked open, and Nancy stepped inside, closing it quietly behind her. Her gaze immediately softened as she took in the look on your face, her expression a mix of sympathy and something elseâresolve, maybe.
âOh, cara mia,â she murmured, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder. âYou donât look well. This whole businessâitâs too much, isnât it?â
You managed a shaky nod. âI⊠I donât know if I can do this, Nancy. Every time I think about it, I justâŠâ You trailed off, not sure how to put into words the suffocating dread that had settled over you.
She gave you a small, encouraging squeeze. âYou know,â she said quietly, âthere are other paths besides the one your father chose for you. And you donât have to walk it alone.â
Your heart skipped at her words. âYou⊠youâd help me? Even if IâŠ?â
Nancy nodded, a spark of fierce protectiveness in her eyes. âLoganâs already got your things in his car,â she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. âIf youâre ready to go, heâs waiting.â
You blinked back tears before grabbing one of her hands, ây- you want me to go?â
âSĂ. Your father is a bastardo, breaking that promise him and your mother made.â She squeezed your hand, âLoganâs a good man. Iâve seen the way he looks at you. He wonât let you down.â
You swallowed hard, Nancyâs words settling like a quiet fire in your chest. She was right. Your father had broken his promise, and you didnât owe him your life just because he controlled every other part of it.
With a shaky exhale, you gave her a nod. âAlright⊠Iâll go.â
Nancyâs face softened, relief mingling with pride. âGood girl. Now, take this.â She pressed a small envelope into your hand. âCash. Just in case.â
You looked down at it, blinking back tears. âThank you, Nancy. For everything.â
She pulled you into a hug, her hand stroking your back gently. âGo, cara mia. Go live your life.â She pulled back, eyes glinting with fierce determination. âAnd donât look back.â
You nodded, holding onto that resolve as you slipped out of the bathroom and made your way down the hall, heart pounding. Every step felt heavier, weighed down by fear and the voice in the back of your mind that told you this was dangerous, reckless. But when you stepped outside and saw Logan waiting by his car, the weight lifted.
He looked up, his gaze intense but soft, like heâd been waiting for this moment just as long as you had. âYou ready?â
You hesitated, just for a moment, before giving him a small nod. âYeah. Letâs get out of here.â
Logan opened the passenger door for you, helping you in, his hand lingering on yours for a second longer than necessary. He closed the door, then climbed into the driverâs seat, starting the engine with a low rumble that matched the pulse pounding in your ears.
As he pulled out of the churchâs parking lot, the weight of the decision hit you again. You were leaving everything behindâthe security, the expectations, the people whoâd shaped your entire life. But with each passing second, the fear melted away, replaced by a strange, liberating sense of excitement.
Logan glanced over, noticing the small smile tugging at your lips. âYou donât look so panicked now.â
You shook your head, unable to hide your grin. âIâm not. Not with you here.â
He gave a soft chuckle, that familiar warmth in his gaze. âGood. Because weâve got a long drive ahead of us.â
You settled back, feeling more at ease than youâd felt in months. There was silence for a moment, comfortable and charged, before you turned to him, voice barely a whisper.
âWhere are we going?â
Logan smirked. âAnywhere but here.â
You laughed softly, relaxing into your seat. The road stretched ahead, open and endless, and for the first time in a long while, the future felt like something you could shape.
logan is 141 years old and reader is around 23-25 years old
what!? is that a happy ending? who would've thought... next up, is origins!
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Personal Impression: Fangs of Fortune.
After watching the first episode, I already knew how this story would end.
It would end with tears like a river.
I knew many will die, even the lead character. I knew. Even so, I keep on watching it, every single episode, not even skipped any scene nor fast forward it.
Because of one reason ....
HIM.
Neo Hou is so gorgeous as the great demon!! >.<
I really like his make up and styling in this series. He really look like a 34.000 years old demon. His aura, demeanor, and his voice, really really resembles an old and presumptuous and flippant demon. Neo really did a great job for this role! BRAVO!
The story pace was quite slow though. Not only the story, but the dialogue, the movement, were also slow. I really have to hold out the urge to press the FF button. XD
And, although it came from the same director as My Journey to You, but the action scene movement isn't as thrilling as the previous one. Also, somehow they work too hard to give the heart warming feeling and the slightly comedy at the early episodes. Everyone always shed tears, even from the first episode. It feels like a rehearsal for the sad ending. XD
Everyone is trying too hard to ease each other pain that it looked unnatural for me.
BUT!!!
I do love this family.
A family consist of demons, a goddess, an human, a young mountain god, and an half human-half god.
I wish they would be together till the end and on. Doing adventure and demon hunting together.
Then again, it's Chinese drama land. We often get different kind of ending than we wanted, even if it was adapted from a novel and has an happy ending. I really don't understand with this kind of "satisfaction" to have a sad end, rather than an happy ending where everyone would smile and be happy. XD
Zhao Yuanzhao (Neo Hou) was actually a pitiful character. He was responsible of killing Zhou Yichen's brother and father, he has also killed Wen Xiao's mentor, the previous baizu goddess, and he was the reason for the death of Ying Lei's grandfather, the previous mountain god. All that because he was the vassal of malicious energy, and he can't control it (also can't control his own conscious). He also break up his friendship with Li Lun, the tree demon, which he accidentally hurt in a fight to protect the human. I could say, Zhao Yuanzhou's entire life is fill with misunderstanding.
I remember reading a comment saying, "In the first episode, Zhao Yuanzhou wanted to die because of what he has done, and in the final episode, he died when he wanted to live."
Damn. That hurts. Especially with the scene when Zhao Yuanzhou had to slapped himself before he sacrifice himself. He wanted to live with his loved ones, with his friends, but he has to make the biggest sacrifice. The death he has been wishing for. :((
Someone also said that Zhao Yuanzhou was like a sun for Li Lun as the sunflower. Li Lun only look at his sun, Zhao Yuanzhou, but the sun is actually owned by the people. That's touching, and it makes sense. But I still think Li Lun is like a brat which his favorite person was taken away by some other interest. XD
The sadness kind of traumatized me, even though I still able to made jokes when I watched it till the last episode, like "One down." XD
The characters were kind of pitiful, and it's always the demon side who suffers the most.
I'm quite happy that this series still have "connections" with real world, like the love between Miss Qi and Ran Yi was touching. They only wanted to be together, but their differences got in the way. "Whether you are a human or a demon, you are both my path and destination." It's like saying "I love you" in Fangs of Fortune's way. X3
When A Heng fights to protect his unconscious sister, Zhen Mei said he can't save his sister, and A Heng said, "I can't ... but I must." He know he won't stand a chance against Zhen Mei, but he still has to fight to protect his sister. That's a real power.
When Wen Xiao was poisoned and likely dying, she said that she doesn't want to die, and she still has lot of things she wanted to do. This is a natural reactions when we know that we only have little time left to live. Wen Xiao doesn't pretend to be strong by saying kind words like it's a sacrifice that she gladly will do as the baize goddess. The same thing with Ying Lei when he's dying, he said that he's scared and he doesn't want to leave ... my heart really broken for him. Ying Lei is my second favorite because of his cheerful nature. :((
I really like they still put that natural reactions and emotions as a common human would felt. (Note, Ying Lei's words were an adlib by the actor. Superb!)
There were several unforgettable moments in this series, including the death scenes. But, there's one that engraved in my mind. That one moment when Li Lun confronted Zhao Yichen who was about to turned into a demon. At first Li Lun was being all above Yichen, then it was the opposite. Yichen succeed to put some conscious into the stunned Li Lun. Li Lun wanted Yichen to be depressed and become a demon like him, yet Yichen stay righteous just like Zhao Yuanzhou had said about him. Yichen even said he becomes to understand Zhao Yuanzhou, rather than to Li Lun. That's like a totally defeat for Li Lun.
And lastly, Zhao Yuanzhou words to Wen Xiao, that when he died, he will become the rain and comes down to stay by her side.
Zhao Yuanzhou, do you know, because of that words, every time the rain came down now, I always said, "Da Yao, it's raining." TwT
Oh, well ... for me, it's quite good series. Although I still dislike the end, and even the special episode didn't do any good ....
Just remember, that it's a dream, and when you wake up, everyone actually living a happy life together, just like in the ending scene dance. XD
youtube
Neo Hou really did a great job in portraying a thousand years old demon. X3
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)
#Today has been so long đđđ I've been out the whole day studying and when I came back I spent more than one hour to cook my probably goneâ#bad chicken (and rice and spinach) and then I couldn't even eat it because it was my turn to clean the kitchen at the dorm (which is theâ#third following day I'm doing) (worth mentioning I'm running on 5 hours of sleep)#And I was goofing around with my friends but while doing so I. made fun of the landlord. And then one friend told me âhey girl he's rightâ#outsideâ and like đđđđđđ I hope I die painfully. I need to be back next year and he already makes my life hard enough and hhhhhhhhhhh#I wasn't even like. Serious. It was just to joke around with my friends I don't have anything against him (except for the things I do)#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#And now I feel so embarrassed I have no appetite at all + the chicken (which I had to bring home through one hour walk in summer whichâ#probably wasn't good for it. And then froze one day past the expiration day) (I really need to get better eating habits) I had beenâ#preparing despite taking one hour to cook it I got the firing wrong and now it's all hard and honestly not very good and like đđđ#Look at what you did to the (frankly already diseased) chicken#I feel so betrayed by everything đđđ Can life get a little easier#I'm mostly kidding I'm doing okay. I just need to rant because I CAN'T GET OVER THE LANDLORD THING MAN HOW DO I FORGET ABOUT IT.#This kind of things always haunts me for at least three days so đđđ#I'm dead tired but I really wanted to answer asks today so. Probably doing so between today and tomorrow#Rant over sending lots of l love đđ#random rambles#In my defense it's not my fault I'm too poor to throw the chicken away đȘđȘ I haven't eaten since forever#It's also not my fault I can't afford a new non sticking pan so I have to stick (ah) to the probably toxic one#It is very much my fault for messing up the chicken cooking temperature tho lol
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Trick or treat đïžđïž
I eated it :(
[ID in alt]
#ramblings of a lunatic#happy halloween to all those who celebrate#I didn't do anything for it today (I'm busy and my uni doesn't let us off for the holiday)#but i watched scary movies w friends a few days ago#honestly halloween has been a bit of a non event this year for me i have straight up been too busy#fighting for my life trying to find seasonal joy between meetings and classes and groceries and sweeping the floors#anyway. yes this is the brilliant joke that took me hours to think up/make#until it was actually 18 mins past midnight making it not Halloween anymore#i think it was worth it#also i need to post art so bad but I'm looking at everything like. oh this is garbage and/or requires paragraphs of context. schwoopsie#I'm. working on it okay?#i don't wanna dissapear of the face of the internet rn just bc I'm busy with schoolwork#but god. the cave of knowledge (uni) tests me everyday#this was done in ibispaint on my phone btw
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You know, itâs a good thing my new job pays $1400 a month more than my previous job, because I did not sign up to be in the middle of Drama Llama Central.Â
#According to my boss who is also new ish#this is an issue between two specific employees#and has been going on for like two years#it's like being in live action twitter#one little thing gets taken out of context and suddenly BAM#A HUNDRED TEXTS IN 30 SECONDS ON TEAMS ABOUT WHAT THEY DID OR DID NOT SAY#WHO CARES#MOVE ON#YOU THINK ANYONE REALLY TRULY GIVES A FUCK?!#NOT ME#ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN THE FIGHTS HAVE BEEN *ABOUT* ME#I like all of my coworkers#as long as they're not in the same room#but holy fucking cheese on a cracker they like to make simple things difficult#I'm used to being on a team of two - me and one other guy in India#and we were fine together#like legit friends#we liked to joke#we liked to mess around#but we also immediately upsold each other the second someone asked about who was the 'better' of the two of us#Was I spoiled? Is this new Bullshit the ACTUAL norm!?
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i love blatantly ignoring that clay has one whole speaking role in an aa5 cutscene in favor of just saying he sounds like the phone dude from fnaf 3
#i dont even engage with this series anymore but this has been a joke between me and my friends for like two years#txt
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WHEREâS MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i donât have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess iâll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjorkâs not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasnât that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what iâm pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when iâm done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i canât#use commas tho makeâs this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isnât even that messy but#donât know where else i wouldâve put it itâs not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didnât iâm usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess iâm going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i donât even need it right iâve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore iâm kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name iâts#got good mouth feel and itâs fun to spell i didnât realize how long filling 30 tags would be whatâs 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time iâve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and iâm a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it iâm getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me iâve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but iâm better at writing songs with vocals iâve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics itâs been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter canât w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you canât make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh iâd rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this donât think about it oh look behin#d you thereâs a distraction oh youâve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag iâm doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
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WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN
#I'M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE#ONE OF MY FRIENDS (OF 3 YEARS WHO HAS BEEN IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP FOR ALL BUT 4 MONTHS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP#(Which side tangent props to them cause yeah they've had their ups and downs but it's still like so fucking heathly)#AND SHE HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO SAY OUR TWO NEW FRIENDS WHO JUST GOT TOGETHER ARE TOO TOUCHY AND ALL OVER EACH OTHER#AND THAT IT MAKES HER UNCOMFORTABLE CAUSE LIKE WHATTTTT#I'VE BEEN THERE SINCE YOU SAT ON HIS FUCKING LAP AND SWAPPED SPIT WITH HIM IN PUBLIC INFRONT OF ME AND YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN#THEY ARE SITTING WITH NO SPACE BETWEEN THEM#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'VE FUCKING FELT WHEN YOU DID WORSE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU IT MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TOO#then she has the fucking gaul to make fun of me for not have a significant other like shut the actual fuck up dude.#(By the way if you read all that I'm not trying to say that other people aren't allowed to be uncomfortable with PDA#But when you were so much worse about it after I had politely talked to you about how if the three of us were hanging out I'd#Really appreciate if you two could tone it down just a little bit#AND ANOTHER THING#WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU THAT I FEEL SAD AND LONELY BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON IN THE FRIEND GROUP WITHOUT ONE#YOU JUST FUCKING SHRUG IT OFF AND MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT.#Sorry#I'm sorry.
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I just love Danâs dewy brown eyes đ
he's such a dreamboat đ
#ask#anon#this has been a joke between me and my friend for like a year and a half at this point#im glad others are finally waking up#every time i go to a gig shes like question him about his eye colour#get to the bottom of it đ#we are all collectively opening our big dewy brown eyes if you will
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The Marriage Bet
Pairings: Best Friend Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Themes: A bet. A bit of comedy but mostly fluff and Bucky treating his woman right ;)
Summary: If in three years time both of you were still single, you will marry your best friend, Bucky. That's the bet.
A/N: For those of you who voted for 'Calm Down, Dad Mode' I've added it to this story. This has got to be my favorite fluff FML. Also let me TELL YOU, the cravings in pregnancy and the emotions are real because I lived it lmao. PART 2
Three Years Ago
"You know what we should do?â Bucky said out of the blue, his gaze fixed on you with a seriousness that made your stomach flip. The two of you had been lounging on his couch for hours, talking about everything and nothing. It was a lazy night filled with laughter, shared memories, and the kind of comfortable silence only you and Bucky knew how to savour.
You glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow. âWhat?â
âIf weâre still single in three years⊠letâs get married,â he announced, as if it was the most logical suggestion in the world. His tone was light, but there was a quiet intensity in his eyes that made it clear he wasnât joking.
You stared at him for a moment, trying to gauge if he was serious. âBucky, have you lost your mind?â
âMaybe,â he admitted with a shrug, his lips twitching up into that familiar smirk that made your heart skip. âBut think about it. No more crappy dates, no more getting your heart broken by idiots who donât deserve you. Just us. You and me. We already know each otherâs worst habits, and we get along. Itâd be a good marriage.â
You scoffed, shaking your head. âYou make it sound like weâre signing up for a business merger.â
He laughed at that, the sound deep and genuine. âMaybe. But at least youâd know youâre stuck with someone whoâs never going to walk out on you. Someone whoâd fight for you.â
The way he said it made your throat tighten, and for a second, you allowed yourself to picture it. A life with Bucky, the two of you navigating the ups and downs together. No more failed relationships, no more loneliness. Just the comfort and security of someone who knew you better than anyone else.
âYouâre serious, arenât you?â you murmured, still stunned by the idea.
He nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. âYeah, I am. So, what do you say?â
You hesitated for just a beat, then broke into a grin. âDeal, Barnes. If weâre still single in three years, Iâll marry your crazy ass.â
He grinned back, his hand shooting out to seal the promise with a firm handshake. But as your fingers clasped around his, the energy between you shifted â playful and yet, inexplicably serious.
âDeal,â he echoed softly, a knowing look in his eyes that sent a shiver down your spine.
Ă Ă Ă ĂÂ
Present
You leaned against the railing of the rooftop, your eyes skimming over the city lights below as the faint notes of Taylor Swiftâs break-up songs filled the air. You and Bucky had been up here for hours, talking and drinking, the night air crisp against your skin.
It had been a rough few months for you â the breakup still felt fresh, the sting of rejection and disappointment lingering. But being here with Bucky made it easier. He had a way of grounding you, of making you feel like everything would be okay, even when it didnât seem that way.
âYâknow, youâre the best,â you murmured, your words slurred slightly from the champagne. âI mean it, Buck. I donât know what Iâd do without you.â
He smiled softly, his gaze warm as he watched you. âGood thing you donât have to find out, huh?â
You nodded, letting out a sigh as you turned back to the view. âStill, I feel like⊠I donât know. Like Iâm destined to be alone or something.â
âThatâs not true,â he said quietly, setting his glass down and turning to face you fully. âAnd you know it.â
You shrugged, glancing over at him. âYeah, well, sometimes it feels like it. Everyone Iâve ever dated justââ
You stopped mid-sentence as Bucky suddenly shifted, reaching into his pocket. Your eyes widened as he pulled out a small blue velvet box and, without hesitation, flipped it open. The soft light of the rooftop glinted off the 1.5-carat diamond ring nestled inside â simple, elegant, and undeniably breathtaking.Â
âWhatâs that?â you asked, your breath catching in your throat.
Bucky arched an eyebrow, giving you a pointed look. âAn engagement ring, Y/N. What else?â
âYeah, I know itâs a ring!â you sputtered, your mind reeling. âBut whyâhowâwhat are you doing with it?â
Bucky sighed, muttering under his breath, âFor someone so smart, she really canât see whatâs right in front of her.â
You barely had time to process the words before he got up from his sitting position and slowly knelt down on one knee. The movement made your heart jump into your throat, your breath hitching as he looked up at you, his eyes softer than youâd ever seen them.
âI want to marry you, Y/N,â he said, his voice firm and sure. âNot because of some bet or joke we made all those years ago, but because⊠I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be the one you come home to. The one who makes you laugh when youâre sad. The one who fights for you.â
You felt your chest tighten as the weight of his words sank in, the sincerity in his voice making it almost impossible to breathe. âBucky⊠this isââ
âI know this is crazy,â he continued, cutting you off gently, his gaze never leaving yours. âBut when have we ever been normal, huh? Iâm not asking you to feel something you donât or to change anything between us. But I am a man of my word, and Iâm keeping the promise we made.â
Your mind raced, memories of that night flashing through your mind â the promise, the shared laughter, the way heâd looked at you back then as if you were the only thing that mattered. And now, here he was, years later, kneeling in front of you with an engagement ring, ready to turn that promise into something real.
He took a deep breath, his hand trembling slightly as he held out the ring, his expression almost pleading. âSo⊠will you marry me? Not because you feel like you have to, but because you want to?â
You stared down at him, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. The world seemed to fade away, the only thing anchoring you being his blue eyes, filled with nothing but hope and determination.
âWell? Say something, sweetheart,â he murmured, his voice barely a whisper now. âBecause Iâm dying here.â
You let out a breathless laugh, the tears welling in your eyes spilling over as you shook your head in disbelief.Â
âYouâre really going all out, huh?â you teased, âGetting down on one knee and everything⊠how could I say no to a man with such dedication?â
Bucky blinked, caught off guard, and then let out a soft laugh of his own. âIs that a yes, or are you just stalling to make me sweat more?â
You glanced at the ring, then back at him, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. âI guess⊠if I have to be stuck with someone for the rest of my life⊠it might as well be you.â
âYes,â you added quickly, your smile widening as you looked at him with all the warmth and affection you felt. âOf course itâs a yes, you idiot!â
Relief washed over his face, his grin so wide it couldâve lit up the entire rooftop. âYou really know how to keep a guy on edge, donât you?â
âGotta keep things interesting,â you replied with a laugh, reaching out to brush your fingers against his cheek. âI canât make it too easy for you.â
His chuckle was deep and genuine, the tension melting from his shoulders as he slipped the ring onto your finger, his eyes never leaving yours. âYou can be so mean you know that?â
âMean?â you scoffed, giving him a playful look of disbelief. âYouâre proposing to me, remember? Iâm just making sure you know exactly what youâre getting yourself into.â
Bucky shook his head, laughter bubbling up in his chest. âOh, I know. And Iâm still all in, even if you make me work for it.â
You grinned, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Bucky didnât hesitate, his arms coming up to hold you close, his chin resting gently on top of your head. The warmth of his body against yours, the steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek.
Slowly, you pulled back just enough to look up at him, your chin resting on his chest as your eyes locked with his. The sound of the music drifted softly through the air, wrapping around you both like an embrace.
You could see the tenderness in his gaze, the way his eyes softened as he looked down at you. There was something indescribable in the way he held you, his hands warm and secure against your back, as if he never wanted to let go.
âYou know,â you murmured softly, a small smile playing on your lips, âI completely forgot about that bet.â
Buckyâs lips quirked up at the corners as he started to sway gently, rocking you both back and forth in time with the music.Â
âYeah? Good thing I havenât.â he agreed quietly, his voice low and filled with something that made your heart flutter.
You let out a content sigh, closing your eyes for a moment as you swayed together under the soft glow of the rooftop lights, the melody of the song weaving its way into your soul. There was a peace, a sense of rightness in the way his hands rested on your waist, the way your fingers curled into his shirt.
Opening your eyes, you tilted your head slightly, the corners of your lips curving up into a playful smile. âIâm really going to make you regret this, you know.â
He chuckled softly, his thumb brushing gently against your side as he gazed down at you. âDoubt it. But youâre welcome to try, sweetheartâI mean what else could I possibly not know about you?â
Your smile widened as you looked up at him, chin resting on his chest. âOh, youâll find out. Just because weâre getting married doesnât mean Iâm not full of surprises.â
Buckyâs eyes sparkled with amusement as he leaned down slightly, his lips brushing against your temple. âGood. I wouldnât want it any other way.â
âJust remember you asked for it,â you teased, your voice soft as your fingers toyed with the collar of his shirt. âYouâre the one whoâs committing to a lifetime of never quite knowing what Iâll do next.â
âYeah?â he murmured, his gaze dipping to your lips before meeting your eyes again, a smile playing on his own. âI guess I like keeping things interesting, too.â
A laugh bubbled up in your chest, and you felt the tension melt away as you both swayed gently to the music. It felt like a new beginning â a promise that whatever came next, youâd be facing it together.
Ă Ă Ă Ă
A few months later.
The garden was alive with soft laughter and murmurs as the afternoon sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves. The air was filled with the delicate scent of roses and jasmine, and the gentle rustling of leaves provided the perfect backdrop for the small, intimate gathering of friends.
Bucky stood under the floral archway, his suit somehow both perfectly fitted and slightly askew in that way only Bucky could pull off. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his fingers drumming absently on his thigh. When you turned the corner, your eyes met his, and you couldnât help but smile at the exaggerated sigh of relief he let out.
âThank God you showed up,â he teased, his voice carrying over the gentle breeze. âThought Iâd have to marry Sam instead.â
You laughed, rolling your eyes as you made your way down the short aisle, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered in your chest. âYeah, yeah, keep it up, Barnes. Heâd leave you at the altar, you know.â
Bucky grinned, his shoulders relaxing as you stepped up to him. âTrue. He couldnât handle my morning breath.â
The officiant cleared his throat gently, drawing soft chuckles from your friends. Buckyâs gaze stayed locked on yours, a playful twinkle in his eyes as if you were sharing a private joke no one else could understand.
âYou ready for this?â he murmured softly, his tone light but his smile genuine.
âReady as Iâll ever be,â you replied, giving him a small nod.
The ceremony was simple and sweet, with your closest friends standing in a loose circle around you, their smiles reflecting the joy and camaraderie that had always defined your relationship with Bucky.Â
When it came time for the vows, Bucky cleared his throat dramatically, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket.
âIâm not good at this stuff,â he began, waving the paper around, âso I wrote it down. Just so I donât forget the important parts. Like promising I wonât eat your fries without asking.â
You let out a snort, shaking your head. âSo thatâs why youâre marrying me? For my fries?â
âPartly,â Bucky said with a wink, earning a few laughs from your friends. âBut seriously⊠I promise to always be your partner in crime. To watch bad movies with you, to be your go-to plus-one for all those events you hate, and to be the one you can call at 3 a.m. when the world feels like too much.â
His voice softened slightly, his gaze never wavering from yours. âI promise to be your best friend, to listen, and to support you. And yeah, to not eat your fries â unless youâre not looking.â
You chuckled, blinking back the unexpected prickle of tears. âDamn, Barnes. Setting the bar high for husband material, arenât you?â
âSomeoneâs gotta do it,â he replied with a smirk.
When it was your turn, you took a deep breath, glancing down at your own slightly crumpled paper. âBucky, I promise to keep being your reality check, to make sure you donât take yourself too seriously. I promise to help you with your crazy woodworking projects, even when you refuse to read the instructions. And I promise to be your partner in all things â the weird, the good, and the unpredictable.â
Buckyâs grin softened into a small, genuine smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. âI think weâre gonna be pretty good at this whole marriage thing.â
âI think so too,â you murmured back.
The officiantâs voice broke through the quiet moment, his smile warm. âBy the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Bucky, you may nowââ
âWait,â Bucky interrupted, holding up a hand as he turned to you, his expression half-serious, half-teasing. âCan I kiss you?â
You blinked, surprised. âWhat?â
âYou know,â he said, shrugging a shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world. âThis is technically our first kiss. I want to get it right. So⊠how do you like it?â
A burst of laughter escaped you, the tension in your shoulders melting away as the sheer Bucky-ness of the question made you grin. âYouâre unbelievable, you know that?â
âCome on, humor me,â he pressed, a mischievous glint in his eyes. âSlow? Gentle? Or should I just go for it?â
You shook your head, still laughing softly. âJust⊠kiss me, you goof.â
Bucky grinned, his eyes twinkling with affection. âAlright, Mrs. Barnes,â he said softly, leaning in. âIâll make it good.â
His grin widened and shifts a little closer to you, Bucky dipped his head and you felt your noses brush. His breath is on your lips, and you quiver a bit at the odd sensation. Without another moment to spare you realise that he's pressing his lips to yoursâit was nothing like youâd expected. His hand slipped to the small of your back, drawing you closer, his eyes fully closed. Bucky was concentrating on the kiss, and you realised that your eyes were wide open. Slowly you close them, hiding away your brilliant orbs.Â
Buckyâs lips are oddly doft in this kiss and it stays slow and sweet. He wrapped his arm around you more, lifting you slightly off your feet. The veil fluttered around you like a soft cocoon, and then everything disappeared as his mouth moved insync with you, his kiss remained slowly, his mouth molding against yours in a way that made your knees weak.
His fingers gently tangled in your hair, his thumb brushing softly along your cheekbone as if he couldnât bear to stop touching you.
But then he shifted, tilting your head just slightly as he deepened the kiss, his hold around you tightening. It was then that you felt him let go completely â every barrier, every wall heâd kept up around himself crumbling as he poured everything into that kiss.Â
Somewhere in the distance, you could hear the faint cheers and whistles of your friendsâSam being the most obnoxiousâbut it all felt like background noise. It was just you and Bucky, wrapped up in this kiss that felt like it had been building up for years. His lips slid over yours with a kind of sweet intensity, a silent confession of everything he hadnât said â of everything he didnât know how to say.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead resting gently against yours, both of you were breathless, hearts pounding in unison. He didnât let go, his arms still wrapped around you as if you might disappear if he loosened his grip.
A soft cheer went up from your friendsâSam being the most obviousâ and Buckyâs grin turned almost smug. âHow was that?â
You let out a shaky laugh, your hands clutching his shoulders as you tried to steady yourself. âYeah, Buck. I think you got it just right.â
âGood,â he murmured, his eyes searching yours for a long, lingering moment before his smile widened into something boyish and relieved. âJust wanted to make sure.â
âDonât worry,â you teased gently, brushing your thumb over his cheek. âYouâre not getting rid of me after a kiss like that.â
Buckyâs laugh was soft, his nose brushing against yours. âGuess I should keep practicing, huh?â
You nodded, your grin matching his. âYeah. Keep practicing, Barnes.â
And as he pulled you in for another kiss, slower and just as sweet as the first, you knew that this â all of this â was exactly how it was meant to be.
Ă Ă Ă Ă
1.5 years later
You were pacing back and forth in the bathroom, your heart hammering in your chest. Every few seconds, your eyes would dart to the three little sticks sitting ominously on the edge of the sink â three white, plastic harbingers of potential chaos.
âCome on, come on, come on,â you whispered frantically to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut as if willing the tests to disappear â or at least show some clarity.
How did it come to this? You were supposed to be life partners â partners in crime, best friends â no strings attached, no expectations. Just two people who promised to be there for each other. Sure, you got married, but it was all because of the bet. A way to keep each other from loneliness, you both said. Nothing more, right?
Except somewhere along the line, late-night talks had turned into stolen kisses. Comforting hugs had turned into tangled limbs. And now⊠this.
âOh my god, heâs going to flip,â you muttered, running a hand through your hair as you stared at the still-blank screens on the tests. âThis isnât how we were supposed toââ
âSupposed to what?â
You jumped about a foot in the air, letting out a small squeak of surprise as Buckyâs voice filled the bathroom. You whipped around, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest as you spotted him leaning casually against the doorframe, an amused smirk on his lips.
âBucky! Donâtâdonât just sneak up on people like that!â you stammered, instinctively shuffling over to the sink to block his view.
His smirk widened. âI didnât sneak. Youâre just too distracted, sweetheart.â He pushed off the doorframe, crossing his arms as he stepped closer. âWhatâs going on in here?â
âNothing!â you squeaked, your voice a little too high-pitched.
Buckyâs eyebrows shot up. âUh-huh. So, youâre just hanging out in the bathroom, talking to yourself?â
âYes!â you answered quickly, nodding like a bobblehead. âYep, just a totally normal conversation with⊠myself. Very productive.â
He eyed you, suspicion etched all over his face. âUh-huh. And why do you look like youâve seen a ghost?â
âI donât!â you lied, crossing your arms over your chest as if that could somehow shield you from his scrutiny.
Bucky took another step closer, his gaze flicking over your shoulder. âThen why are you standing like that?â
You moved subtly, trying to casually scoot to the left, but your back hit the edge of the sink. âLike what?â
âLike youâre hiding something,â he said, leaning down slightly to look your directly in the eyes. âWhatâs behind you, Y/N?â
âNothing!â you insisted, but your hand twitched involuntarily, knocking into one of the sticks. It clattered onto the counter, bouncing once before rolling to a stop right at Buckyâs feet.
You froze.
Buckyâs eyes flicked down to the test, and his entire expression shifted â from curiosity to confusion to wide-eyed realization.
âWait⊠is that aâ?â
âNo!â you yelped, diving forward to snatch up the stick and hide it behind your back. You stood there, breathing heavily, your face flushed with a mix of panic and embarrassment.
Buckyâs gaze slid back to you, his lips quirking into an incredulous smile. âY/N, are those⊠pregnancy tests?â
You glanced around desperately, as if you could conjure up some kind of diversion to steer the conversation elsewhere. âUh⊠no? Maybe?â
âSweetheartâŠâ Bucky stepped around your easily, and in one quick motion, he plucked the other two tests off the sink. He held them up, his eyes wide and eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. âThere are three.â
âYeah, well⊠you know, the first one could be a fluke, and the second one too, andâŠâ you trailed off, wincing at how ridiculous you sounded.
Bucky blinked, then let out a bark of laughter. âThree tests, huh? Youâre nothing if not thorough.â
âBucky!â you hissed, mortification washing over you. âThis isnât funny!â
âMaybe not,â he admitted, though his lips were still twitching with amusement. âBut youâre freaking out over here, hiding them like I wasnât gonna notice.â
âI wasnât freaking out!â you lied, folding your arms across your chest again. âI was just⊠assessing the situation.â
He raised an eyebrow, waving one of the tests in front of your face. âAssessing, huh? And whatâs the situation, then?â
You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. âI donât know, okay? I havenât looked at them yet!â
There was a beat of silence. Thenâ
âWait, you havenât looked?â Buckyâs voice was filled with genuine disbelief. âYouâve been pacing around in here, stressing yourself out, and you havenât even checked?â
âIâm not ready!â you snapped defensively. âI mean⊠what if theyâre positive?â
Buckyâs grin softened into something more genuine, and he stepped forward, gently cupping your cheek. âThen theyâre positive.â
Your eyes met his, the sincerity and calmness in his gaze making some of your panic ebb away. âBut weâre not evenâ I mean, this was supposed to beââ
âA bet?â he finished softly, a hint of something unreadable in his eyes. âYeah. I remember. But bets donât always go the way you plan.â
You swallowed hard, your heart still hammering wildly. âYouâre not⊠mad?â
âMad?â he repeated, his expression incredulous. âWhy the hell would I be mad? I mean, sure, this is unexpected. But mad?â He shook his head, chuckling softly. âCâmon, Y/N. You really think Iâd be mad about having a family with you?â
The words made your heart stutter, and you stared up at him, wide-eyed. âBuckyâŠâ
âLetâs just see what they say, alright?â he murmured gently, stepping back and nodding toward the tests. âNo more freaking out until we know.â
With trembling hands, you turned each test over, your breath hitching as you looked at the results.
Positive.
Positive.
Positive.
Buckyâs grin had barely faded before the reality of the situation seemed to really hit him this time. His gaze drifted back to the three tests lined up on the sink, and you watched as his face slowly drained of colour.
âBucky?â you asked cautiously, noticing the way his grip on your arm loosened slightly.
He blinked, his eyes darting between you and the tests like he was trying to solve some impossible puzzle. âSo, uh⊠positive. All three?â
You nodded slowly, worry beginning to creep back in. âYeah, Buck. All three.â
âOh⊠Oh, wow,â he muttered, his eyes widening. âThatâs⊠thatâs a lot of positive.â
âBuckyââ
âI mean, I knew one was a lot, but threeâpositives?â he rambled, swaying slightly on his feet. âThatâs⊠thatâs a whole lot of⊠baby.â
âBucky, are you okay?â you asked, reaching out to steady him as his face turned even paler.
âIâmâyeah, I justââ He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes rolling back slightly as his knees buckled.
âBucky!â you shouted, grabbing for him as he crumpled to the floor in a faint.
You managed to catch his weight just enough to keep him from completely knocking his head on the tiles, though it took every ounce of strength you had to keep him semi-upright.
âAre you freaking kidding me?â you huffed, looking down at his unconscious form with a mix of exasperation and disbelief. âYouâre the one who said youâd be fine with this!â
He let out a soft, incoherent groan, his head lolling to the side as you carefully lowered him all the way to the ground and raised his legs above his head for bloodflow.
âOf course youâd faint, you big drama queen,â you muttered, crouching down beside him and lightly patting his cheeks. âCome on, Buck. Wake up. Iâm not doing this alone, you hear me?â
After a few more pats and murmured reassurances, his eyelids fluttered open, and he blinked up at you, dazed and confused.
âY/N?â he mumbled, his voice slurred. âWhat⊠what happened?â
âYou fainted, you big idiot,â you said, the frustration in your tone softened by the overwhelming relief that he was okay. âOver three little tests.â
Bucky stared at you blankly, then his gaze drifted back to the sink where the tests still sat in a neat row, mocking him with their tiny positive signs.
âOh⊠right,â he murmured, his face scrunching up as he tried to process it all again. âSo it wasnât a dream?â
âNope.â You shook your head, giving him a half-smile. âDefinitely not a dream.â
âDamn,â he breathed, a small, disbelieving laugh escaping him as he ran a hand through his hair. âI really fainted, huh?â
âYeah, you did,â you replied, unable to keep the amusement out of your voice. âAnd youâre lucky I didnât let you hit your head.â
He chuckled weakly, his gaze still lingering on the tests. Then, slowly, he reached up, his hand finding yours and squeezing gently.
âI love you, Y/N, you know that?â he mumbled, his voice soft and a little slurred as he still looked dazed. âNot like a friend, but yâknow⊠like, love love.â
You blinked at him, surprised by the sudden confession. A laugh bubbled up in your throat, the ridiculousness of the situation hitting you all over again. âBucky, youâre still out of it.â
âYeah, probably,â he murmured, blinking up at you with a lopsided grin. âBut doesnât make it any less true.â
Shaking your head, you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, your smile softening. âI know, Buck. Weâll talk about that later when youâre not busy fainting over pregnancy tests, okay?â
ââKay,â he mumbled, his eyelids drooping slightly. âBut just⊠so you know.â
âI know,â you repeated gently, brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead. âJust rest for a second, and then weâll figure this all out together.â
He nodded slowly, his eyes drifting shut for a moment before he opened them again, looking at you with a sleepy smile. âWeâre really gonna be parents, huh?â
âYeah,â you whispered, your heart swelling with affection. âWe really are.â
âCool,â he murmured, his head lolling back against the bathroom tiles. âLove you, Y/N⊠love love.â
You chuckled softly, shaking your head as you sat beside him, holding his hand. âLove you too, Bucky. Now, no more fainting, okay?â
âNo promises,â he mumbled, but his grip tightened around your hand, as if even in his half-conscious state, he didnât want to let go.
And as you sat there on the bathroom floor, Bucky still looking a little woozy but smiling up at you with that goofy, endearing grin, you couldnât help but think that maybe â just maybe â everything was going to be just fine.
Ă Ă Ă Ă
First Trimester.
The clock on the kitchen wall glowed a soft, accusatory 2:37 a.m. as Bucky shuffled groggily into the dimly lit space, scratching at his head. He was half-asleep, dressed in rumpled sweatpants and a t-shirt that had seen better days, and still trying to figure out why heâd been dragged from his warm bed.
He paused mid-step when he spotted you sitting at the kitchen table, your shoulders hunched, face buried in your hands. He blinked, his brain struggling to catch up with the situation. âUh, sweetheart⊠whatâs going on?â
Your only response was a pitiful sniffle, followed by another one. Buckyâs brows shot up in alarm, and he quickly moved to your side, crouching down in front of you.
âHey, hey, whatâs wrong?â he asked softly, peering up at you with wide, concerned eyes. âDid something happen?â
You shook your head, letting out a small, hiccuping sob. âI⊠I really wanted⊠chocolate chip pancakes⊠with whipped cream and strawberriesâŠâ
Bucky blinked again, glancing around the empty kitchen as if he expected a stack of pancakes to magically appear on the counter. âOkay⊠uh⊠we donât have any of that stuff right now, but I can go to the storeââ
âEverythingâs closed!â you wailed, cutting him off with a fresh wave of tears. âAnd I really wanted it now!â
The sheer devastation in your voice made Buckyâs heart clench in sympathy â but a very tiny, very unhelpful part of him also found it hilariously absurd. He had fought aliens, Hydra agents, and all manner of nightmares⊠but heâd never faced down a pregnant wife in the throes of a pancake craving at nearly 3 a.m.
âOh,â he said lamely, scratching his head again as he tried to think of a solution that didnât involve breaking into the nearest IHOP. âOkay, um⊠we can make pancakes without chocolate chips, right?â
âBut I donât want plain pancakes!â you cried, your voice wobbling dangerously. âI want chocolate chip pancakes! And⊠and I want whipped cream on top, but we donât have any!â
Bucky swallowed, his panic rising as you continued to cry. He was the Winter Soldier, damn it. He could handle this. There had to be a way out of this. âOkay, alright. Just breathe, okay? How about⊠uh⊠what if I make you some toast? Iâll put some Nutella on it? Itâs kind of like chocolate.â
âItâs not the same!â you sobbed, burying your face in your hands again. âI want⊠pancakesâŠâ
Bucky let out a helpless laugh, running a hand down his face as he glanced at the empty fridge like it was somehow betraying him. âBaby, youâre killing me here.â
You sniffled, peeking out from between your fingers with watery eyes. âYou donât understand, Buck. I can taste the pancakes. I can taste the strawberries⊠I can feel the whipped creamâŠâ
Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it again, at a complete loss for words. âYeah, uh, I canât pull that out of thin air. ButâŠâ He glanced around, his gaze falling on a tub of vanilla ice cream in the freezer. âWhat if I make you a sundae? Itâs kinda like a pancake⊠just cold.â
âNoâŠâ You shook your head, another tear rolling down your cheek. âItâs not pancakesâŠâ
Bucky let out a long, dramatic sigh, his hands resting on his knees. âOkay, okay. Hereâs the deal. Tomorrow morning, Iâm gonna wake up, and Iâm going to go get you all the chocolate chips and whipped cream and strawberries you want, alright? Iâll make a pancake buffet.â
âBut I want it now,â you murmured miserably, rubbing at your eyes.
âI know, sweetheart. I know,â he cooed gently, reaching out to pat your head awkwardly. âBut unless you want me to bust into some diner and get myself arrested, Iâm gonna need you to hang in there for a few more hours.â
Your lips trembled, and you nodded reluctantly, sniffling again. âIâm being ridiculous, arenât I?â
Bucky smiled softly, his heart melting a little. âNah. Youâre growing a tiny human.â Then, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he added, âAlthough, I gotta say, if I can handle your craving meltdowns, I think I deserve some kind of medal. Or at least, like⊠superhero husband status.â
A small, watery laugh escaped you despite yourself, and Buckyâs smile widened triumphantly.
âThere she is,â he murmured, leaning up to press a kiss to your temple. âLook, we canât have pancakes right now, but how about we get creative? Maybe I can whip something up with what we do have? Iâm talking PB&J sandwich sculptures. Or,â he gasped dramatically, âa waffle made out of popcorn!â
Your eyebrows furrowed, but the corners of your mouth twitched. âPopcorn waffles?â
âHey, donât knock it âtil you try it,â he said with an exaggeratedly serious expression. âThis could be a revolutionary invention, Y/N. We could change the breakfast game forever.â
You couldnât help but giggle, wiping at your tears as Buckyâs ridiculousness slowly chased away the lingering sadness. âYouâre such a weirdo, you know that?â
âYeah, but you married me,â he shot back, a grin spreading across his face. âSo whoâs the real weirdo?â
âStill you,â you teased softly, shaking your head.
Bucky let out a mock gasp, clutching his chest dramatically. âWow, so rude. No respect for the man whoâs about to go MacGyver your snack cravings at 3 a.m.â
You smiled despite yourself, reaching out to take his hand. âThank you, Buck.â
âAnything for you, sweetheart,â he murmured, squeezing your hand gently. âNow, what do you say we get a little creative in this kitchen and see if we canât make something thatâll make these pancake cravings shut up for a bit?â
âOkay,â you agreed, the warmth of his hand in yours grounding you. âBut Iâm holding you to that pancake buffet tomorrow morning.â
âPancake buffet with extra chocolate chips, whipped cream, and strawberries,â he promised with a mock salute. âYouâve got my word.â
And as Bucky scoured the pantry for the weirdest possible combinations â âHow do you feel about a peanut butter, banana, and potato chip sandwich?â â you couldnât help but laugh, the weight of your cravings lightening in the face of his relentless optimism and willingness to do whatever it took to make you smile.
âWorldâs best husband,â you murmured fondly as he started arranging sandwich slices into a goofy face.
âDamn right,â he replied with a wink, holding up the plate proudly. âAnd this? This is my masterpiece.â
You took one look at the ridiculous sandwich sculpture â a lopsided smile made from pickle slices and a beard of crumbled crackers â and the tears came flooding back, but this time they were unstoppable.
âBucky⊠youâre⊠youâre the best husband⊠in the world!â you sobbed, your shoulders shaking as you buried your face in your hands.
âWhoa, whoa, waitâhold on!â Bucky stammered, his eyes widening in alarm as he quickly set the plate down and moved back to your side. âWhat⊠why are you crying? Sweetheart, itâs just a sandwich! A really ugly sandwich, butââ
You let out another wail, shaking your head as more tears spilled over. âNo, itâs not that! Itâs you! Youâre just soâso good, and sweet, andâand I donât deserve you!â
Bucky froze, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.Â
âWait, what? Where did that come from?â He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing around as if he expected someone to pop out with a manual for how to handle this. âHey, you deserve everything, okay? Even pancakes at 3 a.m. if I could make it happen.â
âI just⊠youâre always trying so hard, and youâre just⊠youâre amazing,â you whimpered, reaching out to grab his hand like it was a lifeline. âAnd Iâm crying because I canât have pancakes, and Iâm a mess, and youâre making me a weird pickle-beard sandwichâŠâ
Bucky stared at you, completely lost, before he finally let out a helpless, incredulous laugh. âOkay, okay, Iâm officially out of my depth here,â he muttered, gently pulling you into his arms and patting your back awkwardly. âBut hey, letâs save the compliments for when Iâm not half-asleep, yeah?â
You nodded miserably against his chest, your sobs starting to subside as his steady heartbeat grounded you.
âGood, because youâre gonna make me cry if you keep this up,â he joked softly, running a soothing hand through your hair. âAnd no one wants to see the Winter Soldier ugly-cry over a pancake buffet.â
You let out a watery giggle at that, sniffling as you pulled back to look up at him. âYouâre really gonna get me all the pancakes tomorrow?â
âEvery last one,â he promised, his smile gentle and reassuring. âNow come on, letâs see if we can make this popcorn waffle thing work. Youâll need to tell our kid one day that their mom ate the weirdest thing ever while pregnant,â Bucky finished with a grin, his hand sliding down to gently cup your cheek as he wiped away the lingering tears with his thumb. âThat way, when they give us a hard time as teenagers, I can say, âHey, kid, I made your mom a popcorn waffle at 3 a.m. She bettered have loved me.ââ
You laughed again, hiccupping through the tears as you tried to calm yourself. âYouâre crazy, you know that?â
Bucky shrugged, his lips twitching up into a lopsided smile. âMaybe. But you married me, so what does that say about you?â
âThat Iâm a glutton for punishment,â you teased softly, feeling some of the tension start to ease as his thumb continued its gentle, comforting strokes on your cheek.
âOr just smart enough to know when youâve got a good thing,â he murmured back, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. âAnd Iâm gonna keep being that good thing â even when it means making bizarre snacks and wrangling your tears at stupid oâclock in the morning.â
You let out a shaky breath, smiling up at him as you looped your arms around his neck. âI love you, Bucky.â
His eyes softened, his gaze locking onto yours as he leaned in to nuzzle his nose against yours. âI love you too, sweetheart. And weâre gonna figure out this whole craving thing. Even if it means starting a midnight pancake truck or something.â
The image of Bucky in an apron, serving pancakes from a food truck, was so ridiculous that you let out a genuine, hearty laugh. âA pancake truck?â
âWhy not?â He smirked, his fingers playing with a lock of your hair. âIâd be the hottest pancake chef around. Weâd have a line out the door.â
âBecause everyoneâs desperate for pancakes at three in the morning?â you asked, still smiling.
âExactly,â he said with a mock-serious nod. âTheyâd be calling me the Pancake Soldier instead of the Winter Soldier.â
You couldnât help but burst into laughter again, your earlier tears completely forgotten. âI swear, youâre impossible, Bucky Barnes.â
âImpossible and all yours,â he said with a wink, then glanced at the kitchen. âNow, how about we whip up some sort of Frankenstein snack to tide you over until the morning, huh?â
With another sniffle and a smile, you nodded. âAlright. But Iâm still holding you to that pancake buffet.â
âWouldnât dream of backing out,â he promised, kissing your forehead again before guiding you to a chair. âYou sit right here, and let Chef Barnes work his magic.â
You watched as Bucky moved around the kitchen, his clumsy efforts at âcreativeâ snack-making bringing a smile to your face despite the ridiculousness of it all. He muttered under his breath, concocting weird combinations â âWhat if we crush some pretzels on top?â â and talking to the food like it would reveal some hidden trick.
Eventually, he managed to cobble together another makeshift treat: a peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich with a few random M&Ms sprinkled on top for good measure. It looked as chaotic as you felt, but the effort and love behind it made your heart swell.
You stared at the messy sandwich, your lips trembling again â but this time with a whole different set of emotions.
âHey, no more tears,â Bucky said quickly, holding up his hands in mock surrender. âIâm running out of ideas here, babe.â
âIâm not crying,â you sniffed, reaching out to take a bite. âItâs just⊠youâre really, really sweet, and I donât know what Iâd do without you.â
Bucky let out a soft chuckle, reaching over to give your knee a gentle squeeze. âLucky for you, youâll never have to find out. Iâm not going anywhere, okay?â
âOkay,â you whispered, your heart feeling lighter than it had all night.
âGood.â He smiled, leaning back in his chair as he watched you take another bite. âNow eat up, because come morning, Iâm getting up at dawn to get everything we need for that pancake buffet. Youâre gonna be the happiest pancake-eating pregnant lady in the world.â
âAnd youâre gonna be the best pancake-making husband in the world,â you replied with a soft smile, warmth spreading through your chest.
âDamn right,â Bucky murmured, his voice filled with so much affection it made your heart skip a beat.
As you finished the bizarre snack and Bucky continued to ramble on about potential pancake flavors and topping combinations, you couldnât help but feel overwhelmingly grateful.
Because, bizarre cravings and all, there was no one else youâd rather navigate the chaos with than him â your best friend, your partner, your ridiculous, wonderful Bucky Barnes.
Ă Ă Ă Ă
Third Trimester
Buckyâs overprotectiveness had started out in small, endearing waysâlike lingering in doorways or making sure you had an extra pillow at night. But as your pregnancy progressed, so did his paranoia, turning him into an almost comical shadow of your once-confident, battle-hardened husband.
It began with the shoelaces.
âWait, wait, wait.â He practically skidded across the living room to kneel at your feet just as you were about to bend down to tie your sneakers. You straightened up, raising a brow, watching him fumble with the laces like it was a complex puzzle rather than a simple bow.
âBucky, itâs just tying my shoes. I can do that,â you pointed out gently, but he shook his head fervently.
âNot risking it. What if you lose your balance?â His words were muffled as he double-knotted the laces, his shoulders hunched like he was shielding you from some invisible force.
âIâm not gonna lose my balance,â you murmured, amused. âIâve been tying my own shoes for decades.â
âThereâs a first for everything.â He tightened the bow a little too firmly, making you flinch. He winced in apology and adjusted it again, softer this time, before peering up at you with those intense blue eyes, a mix of worry and resolve. âHumor me, okay?â
You sighed, relenting with a small nod. âOkay. But just so you know, youâre not going to be doing this every single time.â
He grinnedâvictorious, as if you hadnât noticed how he conveniently âlostâ all your slip-ons just last week.
Then there was the laundry basket incident.
It happened when you were carrying a half-full basket of towels from the dryer. Youâd barely made it halfway down the hall when Bucky materialized out of nowhere, intercepting you like you were carrying live explosives.
âWhoa, whoa, whoaâwhat do you think youâre doing?â His voice was all mock-seriousness, but there was genuine concern underlining it as he gently pried the basket from your hands.
âLaundry?â you deadpanned, trying to tug it back, but he held firm.
âNot anymore, youâre not.â He shot you a look that dared you to argue as he held the basket up high, well out of your reach. âYou donât need to be lugging this around.â
âItâs not even heavy!â you protested, exasperation seeping into your tone.
He scoffed. âDoesnât matter. Iâll take it. Just point me to where you want it.â
Grumbling, you pointed down the hallway. âOur bedroom.â
âSee?â he said with a self-satisfied smile, striding down the hall like he was conquering new territory. âNo big deal.â
You had to fight back an eye roll. âYouâre gonna be like this until the baby is born, arenât you?â
âProbably,â he called over his shoulder, unashamed.
It didnât stop there, of course. In the kitchen, heâd barely let you near the sink.
One morning, youâd decided to tackle the breakfast dishesâsomething you could usually manage without too much hassle. But as soon as you set the first dish into the soapy water, Buckyâs hand appeared out of nowhere, lightly shoving you to the side.
âExcuse me,â he muttered, though it was clear he wasnât asking for permission. âYour bellyâs gonna bump into the counter. Let me do it.â
âBuckyââ
âLet. Me. Do it,â he insisted, holding a soapy plate hostage as he gazed at you, lips set in a stubborn line.
With a sigh, you threw your hands up in surrender. âFine. But Iâm not a porcelain doll, okay? I can do dishes just fine.â
âSure,â he replied, but he was already washing the dishes with focused precision, occasionally glancing at you to make sure you hadnât slipped or stumbled in the two feet heâd moved you back.
It was both infuriating and endearing, and it made you love him even moreâthough youâd never admit it when he was acting like a hovering mother hen.
The grocery trips were almost unbearable. Heâd insisted on coming along, despite your reassurances that you were perfectly capable of picking up a few items.
âWe need milk,â you pointed out, motioning toward the far end of the aisle.
âGot it,â he said immediately, guiding the cart forward with one hand and slipping his other arm around your waist as if to support your entire body weight.
You shot him a look. âI can still walk, you know.â
âOf course you can,â he agreed with a grin. âIâm just⊠helping you waddle.â
âWaddle?â You narrowed your eyes, smacking his arm lightly. âDid you just call me a waddler?â
âUmâŠâ He glanced at you sheepishly, realizing his mistake a second too late. âNo?â
âYeah, nice try.â You huffed, crossing your arms.
âAlright, alright, bad choice of words. Iâm just keeping pace with you,â he corrected, slowing his stride even more so that the two of you were practically moving in slow motion down the aisle.
You couldnât help but laugh, shaking your head at the ridiculousness of it all. âIf we go any slower, weâll start moving backwards.â
Bucky just chuckled, his arm tightening around you protectively. âIâll take my chances.â
By the time you reached the milk, you were almost tempted to ask him to sprint the rest of the way just to get it over with. But the truth was, there was something undeniably sweet about having Bucky hover around like this.
âLet me guess,â you teased as you plucked a carton of milk off the shelf. âYou want to carry this too?â
âOf course,â he said, already reaching for it, his expression deadly serious.
You held on to the carton just long enough to make him sweat before handing it over. âYouâre unbelievable, you know that?â
âUnbelievably in love with you,â he replied easily, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple.
âSmooth,â you muttered, your lips twitching into a reluctant smile.
With Bucky being his overprotective self, you had no doubt that heâd be like this for the next few monthsâand likely long after the baby was born. But as much as you complained, deep down, you knew you wouldnât trade it for anything in the world.
Ă Ă Ă Ă
âBucky, for the last time, itâs just a shoe box,â you emphasise, glancing at your husband as he carefully hoists the empty box off the couch like itâs made of glass.
âDoesnât matter,â he mumbles, eyes darting suspiciously to the plain cardboard. âYou shouldnât be carrying anything in your condition.â
âCondition? Bucky, Iâm pregnant, not broken.â You cross your arms, watching as he tucks the box under his arm like itâs a rare artefact. The man is a walking, talking fortress of muscle, but right now, his overprotectiveness is reaching absurd levels.
âAnd nearly at your due date,â he points out, placing the box on the counter with a sigh of relief as if heâs saved you from imminent danger. âIâve read all the books. I know how this goes.â
You snort, shaking your head. âOh, yeah? So whatâs the worst that could happen if I pick up a shoe box?â
Bucky turns to you with a dead-serious expression.Â
âItâs not about the weight. Itâs aboutâŠâ he falters, eyes scanning your swollen belly, ââŠstability. Your centre of gravity is off right now. A box could trip you.â
âA box could trip me?â You arch a brow, incredulous. âReally?â
âYes!â His tone is insistent, and you have to bite back a laugh. This is the same man who once told a pack of HYDRA agents they were outnumberedâjust because it was him and Steve versus a dozen of them. But now, heâs reduced to eyeing an empty cardboard box like itâs a mortal enemy.
Sighing, you sit back on the couch, deciding itâs not worth the argument. Besides, thereâs a certain charm in seeing the Winter Soldier so worked up over an inanimate object. You lean back, letting out a small groan as you shift your weight.
Buckyâs been hovering around you all day like a lost puppy, eyes following your every move. The moment you make the slightest sound, his head whips around, concern flickering in his eyes. So when you groan, immediately, heâs by your side, eyes wide, hands hovering over your belly.
âWhat? Whatâs wrong? Is it time? Should I get the bag?â
âCalm down, Dad-mode. Iâm just stretching.â You roll your eyes, but you canât hide the smile tugging at your lips. âYouâve gotta stop panicking every time I make a sound.â
âEvery time you make a sound, it could be something serious!â Bucky exclaims, sounding almost affronted. âDo you know what itâs like hearing you groan and not knowing if itâs âI want ice creamâ or âIâm about to go into laborâ?â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you tease.
He huffs, muttering something about âpregnancy hormones,â and kneels down in front of you. Strong hands lift your foot gently, and he starts massaging your arch. You sigh, instantly melting under his touch.
âBetter?â His voice is softer now, concern etched in every syllable.
âMuch better,â you mumble, letting out a little moan as he presses down on a particularly tight knot.
âHey, hey, hey!â Bucky freezes, eyes wide again. âWhatâs that? Pain?â
âRelax,â you say, though your voice is slightly breathless. âItâs the good kind of pain. Keep going.â
You lean your head back, closing your eyes as Bucky continues the foot massage. The man has hands that could crush stone, but right now, heâs so gentle you almost feel like youâre floating. Itâs hard not to feel a little spoiled under his doting care.
But just when youâre getting lost in the bliss of his hands working away the tension, you catch his face out of the corner of your eye. Buckyâs brow is furrowed, and his expression is one of fierce concentration, like heâs facing down a particularly difficult opponent. You stifle a giggleâonly Bucky could make a foot massage seem like a high-stakes mission.
âAlright, alright, enough of that,â you say, reaching down to tug on his hand. âIf you keep looking at my foot like that, you might set it on fire.â
Bucky blinks up at you, clearly having forgotten where he was. He chuckles, the sound low and almost shy. âCanât help it. I just⊠I want to make sure Iâm doing it right.â
âBucky, itâs a foot massage, not defusing a bomb.â You roll your eyes again, but your heart swells at his concern. âYouâre doing it perfectly.â
A faint blush colors his cheeks, but he lets out a small huff, pretending to be grumpy. âIâll take that as a compliment.â
Then, without warning, he shifts beside you on the couch, a determined look settling on his face. âNow, hold still.â
Before you can ask what heâs up to, Bucky leans down, pressing his ear gently against your belly. Youâre about to ask him if heâs comfortable, but the sheer look of wonder on his face stops you short. His eyes close, and he inhales deeply, as if trying to capture every little movement your baby girl makes.
âHey, there, sweetheart,â Bucky murmurs softly, his voice dropping to a gentle whisper. His fingers splay across your belly, his thumb tracing small, soothing circles. âItâs your dad. Just wanted to check in on you, make sure youâre being good for your mama.â
You bite your lip, warmth spreading through your chest at the sight. The fierce Winter Soldier, the man with a list of enemies longer than most peopleâs grocery lists, reduced to talking softly to your baby girl like sheâs the most delicate thing in the world.
âSheâs probably plotting her escape already,â you joke quietly, and Bucky grins up at you.
âNah,â he says, eyes crinkling at the corners. âSheâs too busy practicing her karate kicks. Isnât that right, little one?â
Right on cue, a small flutter against your belly answers him, and Buckyâs eyes light up like fireworks. He leans down again, pressing his lips gently against the spot where your baby kicked.
âWhoa, easy there, sweetheart,â he murmurs, a playful smile tugging at his lips. âSave the punches for when youâre out here. Weâve got plenty of training sessions ahead of us.â
You snort, shaking your head at his words. âBucky, sheâs not even born yet, and youâre already planning training sessions?â
âGotta start âem young,â he says seriously, but the way he softens his voice when he turns back to your belly is anything but tough. âBut donât worry, weâll take it easy. Iâll make sure you get to be a kid and have fun first. No oneâs gonna mess with you. Not when Iâm around.â
He pauses, his eyes misting over for a brief moment, and you know heâs thinking about everything heâs been throughâeverything he wants to shield your daughter from. Slowly, he rubs his thumb along your belly again, his touch featherlight.
âAnd youâre gonna love your mama,â Bucky continues softly. âSheâs strong, and sheâs funny, andââ He glances up at you, his smile turning mischievous. âSheâs a little bit stubborn sometimes. But youâre gonna be just like her, I bet.â
âGreat,â you mutter, faking a groan. âTwo of you plotting against me.â
âWouldnât dream of it,â Bucky promises, but the glint in his eyes tells you heâs already imagining all the ways heâll spoil his little girl.
He shifts again, his head still resting on your belly, and you have to stifle another laugh as he starts a running commentary, complete with exaggerated gestures.
âOkay, so hereâs the plan,â he whispers conspiratorially to your baby. âWhen you get here, youâre gonna kick a lot. Cry a lot. But not too much. Your mama needs her sleep. Then, weâll team up to get you extra dessert when sheâs not looking.â
âBucky!â You canât help itâyou burst out laughing. âYou canât be plotting behind my back already!â
He grins, looking up at you with mock innocence. âHey, itâs not my fault if she wants ice cream. Right, sweetheart?â
A few more soft kicks seem to echo his words, and you canât help but roll your eyes.
âIâm doomed,â you say, shaking your head fondly.
âNo, youâre not,â Bucky murmurs, his voice softening again. He presses one more kiss against your belly before shifting to sit up beside you. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, tugging you gently against his side. âYouâre gonna be the best mom. And Iâm gonna be right here, making sure you both have everything you need.â
You lean into his warmth, smiling as his hand drifts back to your belly, tracing idle patterns.
âI love you,â you whisper, resting your head against his shoulder.
âAnd I love you,â he replies, voice deep and steady. He leans down, kissing the top of your head. âBoth of you.â
With Bucky holding you close and whispering to your daughter, you feel your heart swell with a contentment so strong it almost aches. Itâs moments like these that remind you just how lucky you are to have this overprotective, sweet man by your side.
Even if he does go overboard sometimes.
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đđ Cherry Picking.
Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
Summary: After your first night with Spencer, you wake up and see that he's left you two dollars and a thank-you note on your bedside table.
Words: 2,3k.
TW: lots of mentions and references to sex, but nothing completely explicit. the reader is quite dramatic and has little faith in men (literally me, sorry). SO MUCH chaos and lack of communication but happy ending. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: This idea just came to me out of the blue, and I have to say that Sex and the City has had a bit of an influence. I love the chaos, the conversations between friends, and Spencer being the best man in the world (I'm picturing him kind of like in his season four version).
⥠Enjoy! âĄ
Saturday afternoon
âTwo dollars?!â
Penelope's and JJ's simultaneous exclamations and surprised faces when you finished speaking were pretty much to be expected. They noticed a change in your expression and took a moment to compose themselves, as did the rest of the people in the room, who glanced curiously at your table from time to time. It was certainly a fascinating sight, three women having an animated conversation about their lives over milkshakes as if they were drinks, especially considering that one of them was pregnant and her belly looked like it was about to explode.
You didn't blame anyone for reacting that way, especially not your friends. You were still pretty shocked by what happened, especially by how thoughtless the man you'd developed feelings for and worked closely with over the past few years was. It was a unsettling to find a tip on your nightstand after one of the most memorable nights you'd ever had. You still remembered the excitement you felt when you went to Spencer's apartment yesterday to watch a movie as part of your fourth or fifth date. He seemed nervous when you started kissing more intensely, and the couch wasn't the best setting. The sensation of your body on his bed and his lips on your skin was incredible.
It was a good memory, extremely good if you took away the embarrassment of waking up the next day in his empty bed with money waiting for you, as if you had performed a service.
âMaybe there was a misunderstanding and the money was left on the table by mistake.â Jennifer spoke again in a reassuring tone after turning the matter over. âSpencer can be a little clumsy sometimes.â
You pressed your lips together in a thin line as you listened to her attempt to provide an explanation for his actions. But given their friendship, this was to be expected.
âAnd he was in a hurry to catch his plane and go to his mother.â Garcia added with a forced smile, trying to lift your spirits. âIt all makes sense.â
Yes, it was understandable that he was leaving in a hurry because he had to catch a flight to spend his weekend off with his mother. That didn't worry you, but there was something else that was curious.
âHow do you explain the thank-you note?â You asked, taking out the paper and the two dollars you'd pulled out to show them as proof from your purse.
âIt was a thank you for hanging out with him, a sweet gesture.â JJ said, taking a sip of her milkshake and patting her belly.
It seemed more like a sour gesture to you, that you had been left with your dignity on the floor. As you left his apartment, you didn't know whether to cry or laugh because it sounded like a bad joke that the only man you thought was decent and for whom you allowed yourself to have feelings would do such a thing.
âMy love life is going downhill.â You said.
Just then, the restaurant door opens and Emily appears. After greeting her and apologizing for her late arrival, she asks about the cause of your apparent distress. As a profiler, she was astute enough to know something was wrong just by looking at you.
âWhat's wrong, honey?â She started talking as soon as she sat down next to you and took a quick look at the table. âThose milkshakes look good, I want one.â
âSpencer thinks I'm a prostitute.â You spoke up without thinking, which surprised Emily and caused her to briefly lose her grip on the menu.
There was a long, awkward silence.
Perhaps you were too direct in saying something that you had been trying to ignore for your own mental health.
âJust a heads-up, we've got a baby in the room. No need to say that word!â Penelope was the first to speak, gently covering JJ's belly with her hands. âHe can hear you.â
At that moment, Reid and his comments about pregnancy data at every stage came to mind. You felt a little uncomfortable because you knew it was a little unrealistic to focus on the positives at a time like this.
âOh, I'm so sorry, baby.â You looked regretfully at your friends and spoke to Jennifer's belly, giving it a gentle caress. âDon't listen.â
âI need context, please.â Emily said confusedly, trying to understand what was going on and why you had said what you had said.
You let out a deep breath, preparing yourself to recount the story once more.
âOkay, Spencer and I made...milkshakes. Very good milkshakes, really good if you know what I mean.â You tried to explain slowly, watching your words and your friends' expressions. âI woke up when he was leaving, he gave me a kiss on my forehead and said to keep sleeping, that he had to catch his flight.â
âThat's sweet, but weird to know.â Emily commented quizzically, looking at the menu intently again. âWhat's the part...you know?â
âOh, when he thought I was-â You stop yourself as you see how JJ looks at you. âA pie maker.â
You could tell from their expressions that they were about to laugh at your attempts to keep the conversation friendly.
âI woke up hours later to find two dollars on the nightstand with a thank-you note.â You finished the story. âTo him, I'm worth two fu...sugary dollars.â
Prentiss stared at you for several seconds, waiting for me to tell her it was a joke. Only when that didn't happen did she speak. âThat sounds weird and awful, but I don't think he would do something like that on purpose. Especially you, he really likes you.â
âHe likes me enough to give me two dollars.â
When you finished speaking, you experienced a moment of discomfort in your stomach as your own words took effect. You were surprised to find that on a deeper level, what had happened was causing you more pain than you had anticipated.
âThat doesn't sound like Reid at all. I've known him for years, and he's not that kind of man.â Penelope said with a frown, trying to reassure you. âI'm sure it's a mix-up.â
You were looking for the same thing and hoping it was just a misunderstanding, but your previous bad experiences made you think otherwise. You'd met enough men to know that they could always be worse. What was different now was that you really liked this particular man. You really longed for him to be different from everyone else.
However, things weren't always as you'd hoped. You'd invested a lot of hope in making your fairy tale come true, and it was starting to take its toll.
âHave you had a chance to speak with him?â JJ inquired.
âHe's with his mother, I won't bother him.â You replied with a strange simplicity that made your friends suspicious. âI'm fine, I've calmed down.â You added as you saw their worried faces.
âI love you, but sometimes you scare me.â Emily said, watching you drink from your smoothie as if it contained a painkiller. âIt's not okay to pretend that everything's fine.â
âIt's understandable to feel a bit discouraged about this. Things may seem challenging at the moment, but I believe things will improve when you discuss this with him.â Jennifer's hand gently touched yours, offering a comforting gesture.
âI'm sure everything will be fine. You have our support if you need it.â Penelope joined in with the motivational words and gave you a reassuring smile.
You took the last sip of your milkshake and leaned back in your seat for a moment before replying. âI'm fine, girls. I don't plan to lose my head over a man, I promised myself.â
They looked at you with some skepticism, but you didn't flinch. You were confident that if you were mentally prepared not to be defeated, or at least not to look defeated, you would be well prepared for the day of the meeting.
You weren't going to lose your mind over this.
Monday morning
You were definitely losing your mind, and no cup of tea or internet video that promised to do so had been able to relax you one bit. You had been cooped up in the office you shared with Penelope for several minutes, pacing in your chair while everyone in the conference room waited for information about a new case and your presence. The mere thought of having to face Reid again was making you feel pretty uneasy.
All weekend, you had been trying to reassure yourself that you were doing well, that you were not hurt or affected by what happened, that it was just one more disappointment to add to the long list you had written since you were a teenager, and that it was normal for someone with your luck. You were not a princess, you were not going to meet a prince, and you were old enough to know that.
But being in the same building as your prince turned toad was not as easy as you had hoped. You prayed that your presence would not be necessary and that the jet would soon take off to take them all away, especially him.
A few sudden knocks on the door startled you. You automatically thought it was your boss coming to scold you for being late, and your blood froze.
âI apologize for the delay, Hotch. I assure...â You spoke promptly as soon as the door opened and a male figure appeared.
But obviously, it wasn't him.
âOh, sorry, I'm not Hotch. But hey, how are you?â Spencer smiled at you and walked toward you, looking a little nervous.
âFine.â You replied dryly, getting up from your seat to grab your tablet and some folders to carry into the conference room.
In your mind, you had planned to make a scene as soon as you saw him and make it clear that you didn't cost just two dollars. But after thinking about it a lot, the fear of losing your job over it was greater. And now it was a mixture of that reasoning with your feeling of paralysis at actually having him in front of you.
âI...I missed you over the weekend.â He stopped you before you could walk away, gently holding your hand. The feeling alone made you stop and look at him angrily. âI thought about you a lot, too much, and I bought you something.â He let go of your hand to pull a small box out of his pocket.
âHow dare you?â You blurt out, taking a step back.
He looked a little uncomfortable and seemed to be in pain. âI'm sorry if I overstepped. I didn't mean to impose. Did I cross a line? I'm so sorry, I just thought-â
âWhat? That you could embarrass me even more? Didn't I already go through enough?â
That's when you took out two dollars from your purse and gave it to him.
âCould I ask why this is?â Spencer was still frowning and looked just as hurt as you.
His apparent lack of understanding of the situation made you much angrier. You had thought he was probably the smartest man you had ever met in your entire life, but suddenly, in your eyes, he was an idiot.
âI'm refunding your payment, Reid.â You replied firmly, without hiding your frustration.
The confusion on his face seemed to multiply as he tried to understand. âWhat are you talking about? I gave you your money back.â
You tilted your head slightly to one side.
âSaturday morning, I left on the nightstand the two dollars you lent me a week ago when we bought coffee. You know I don't like being in debt.â Spencer began to explain calmly, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and present the facts in a clear and concise manner.
Oh, you do remember lending him money at some point, or rather, inviting him for coffee that he said he'd pay you back. That day when his hair was perfect in the wind, when he smiled at you and told you some interesting facts about coffee beans.
âI mentioned it when I said goodbye, but you looked so tired that I left you a thank you note in case you forgot.â He went on to explain. âA lot of studies say that you wake up to full strength at least 20 to 30 minutes after you actually open your eyes. And you still had them closed when I said goodbye.â
âOh.â
âOh?â
âI...I thought you-â You fell silent as you saw the stunned look on his face. You didn't want to look crazy, so you quickly added. âI just thought wrong.â
âI'm sorry, I don't understand.â He said, a little embarrassed. âDid I do something wrong?â
âOh, no, I just...did you bring me a gift?â You changed the subject, taking the box he had previously offered you. Inside was a necklace with a cherry blossom charm.
âYour computer wallpaper is a picture of cherry blossoms. And I saw this necklace in a store when I was walking with my mom, and I thought you might like it. But it's okay if you don't want it-â He spoke fast until you interrupted him.
âI love it, thank you.â You smiled at him and took the necklace out of the box. âCould you help me with this?â
With some trepidation and uncertainty still present, Spencer positioned himself behind you with the jewel in his hands, carefully brushed your hair aside and fastened the necklace around your neck. The sensation of his fingers brushing against your skin made you feel a slight shiver.
âThanks.â You said as you turned around to face him. You gave him a hug, though you were a little unsure.
He returned your embrace, feeling a sense of relief that things between you were okay. âYou don't have to thank me.â
âIt's not about the gift. It's just a way to say thanks for being you.â
Perhaps he was your prince after all.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#matthew gray gubler
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MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo
| ".... god, i hate that i missed you so much"
pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader
summary: your dealer has been out of town for almost two weeks and after he's finally back, he texts you needing to see you.
warnings; smut, dom!chris, sub!reader, p in v, pet names, praising, unprotected sex, dirty talking, hair pulling, rough sex, car sex, crying, publicÂż sex, cursing, mdni
a/n: literally my first fanfic after a looong time so please bear with me, if its bad... you know why. english isnt my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also its a little long đ part two here !!
~~~
she laughed at some joke her friend made and took another bite of her pizza. it was late friday afternoon, she and her bestfriends were hanging out, since there was nothing else to do. everything was great, until her phone buzzed. she looks at her screen, immediately smiling when she sees his name. she wasn't even aware that her lips had curved into a smile.
her friends were too busy with their own conversation, so she uses her moment and grabs her phone, reading the message from chris. she hasn't heard from him in over two weeks, she had no clue what he was doing, or where he was. she also didn't want to ask, hating the feeling of being too desperate. and it's not like he owns her any explanation either.
chris: u busy?
she bites her lip, fighting the urge to smile again as she replies back.
y/n: hi to you too
y/n: yeah im out with friends, whats up
chris: having fun?
chris: when u gonna be home ma?
y/n: like in an hour or so
chris: can u hurry up? c'mon kid i miss ya
y/n: you do???
she can't help but genuinely grins this time, her eyes widen a little. did he miss her? or was he just saying that to make her give in? he always knew how to talk to her, to make her going feral over him. but she wanted to believe he means it this time.
chris: hell yeah i do
chris: get ur ass out here
she looks at her friends, that were still yapping about something, that she couldn't care less about right now. she needed to see him. he never said he missed her before.
y/n: then come pick me up, im sending u the address
chris: omw gorgeous
chris is already in his car, when she sends him the address. not being able to see her for over two weeks, made him think. A lot. he has been her drug dealer for over a year now, there was tension between them since the beginning, so it didnt take them long to finally fuck at some party a few months ago. and since then, it's happening every now and then, usually they meet to smoke together, then they end up all over each other.
after a few minutes, he parks the car in front of the pizzeria, finally seeing her. she made a stupid excuse for her friends to leave, not being able to hide her excitement, so they just could assume what was going on.
chris gets out of the car, looking her up and down, licking his lips as she was only wearing a black crop top and baggy camo pants. he personally loved those, especially on her.
he opens the door for her, a smirk playing on his lips. "get in."
she tried her hardest to act casual, but just seeing him after a while, in all black outfit, was enough to make her dizzy. and she could swear he got a haircut. his hair was so much shorter, and she loved it.
she smiles, keeping the eye contact while getting inside the car. he closes the door, his eyes roaming all over her body as she walked towards him. he snaps back to reality, getting to the other side and climbing back into the drivers seat. he was feeling so many things that he couldn't express.
"missed me so bad, you couldn't wait an hour, huh?" she speaks up, putting on the seatbelt and looking over at him, while he starts the car.
she notices the way he looks her up and down, his eyes stopping at her exposed skin a little too long.
"i've missed my favorite customer." he smirks, going back to the eye contact.
"yeah, your favorite customer... right." she says sarcastically, trying her hardest to keep her cool and not to blush under his stare.
he grins before replying, focused on keeping his hands on the wheel instead of her body. it was getting harder with every second. "yeah, the one i always gotta give free stuff to."
"oh, dont act like i force you to do this..." she scoffs, still looking at him. "you know i always want to pay you."
"i know y'do... doesn't mean i will stop givin' it to you for free though."
"see, and that's crazy."
chris rolls his eyes, loving and hating at the same time, how she always had to talk back to him. he's driving, planning to go to her house, but the way she's looking right now, and especially her attitude, is making him crazy. he feels his dick getting harder with every second.
"whatever, ma. i know you secretly like it."
"yeah, sure." she mumbles with sarcastic tone, her eyes still watching him. seeing him driving was one of her favorite things in the world, he always looked so good. she appreciates, that he gives her stuff for free or cuts down her prices, but dealing was his job, he was making money out of it, so she always felt bad when he didnt want her cash. "what made you busy for so long? thought the cops caught or some shit"
chris bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to her for a second, before focusing back on the road. he never felt so desperate like right now, just having her in his car like that...
once he hears her question, he snaps back to reality and smiles. "the cops? please, sweetheart, they can suck my dick."
chris changes his direction, spotting an empty parking lot and he drives there. "i was out of town, had to deal with some business... nothin' to worry about now." he explains, parking and turning off his car, and his stare travels to her, scanning her face and body. "you're so curious...."
she nods, now understanding why he wasn't texting her these past two weeks, she was a bit ashamed 'cause she honestly thought maybe he got bored of her, so she didn't text him either. she still got some weed until yesterday, so she also had no reason to.
"why would you stop here?" she asks, looking at him with a little frown, but once she sees his smirk, the realization hits her. the excitement filling her body, the tension between them so noticeable, it makes her shiver.
he stares at her for a moment, adjusting his pants and then suddenly he unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back in his seat so there was more space now.
"c'mere."
her eyes travels down on his lap, seeing the noticeable big bulge even through his jeans. she blushes slightly, looking back at him, the smirk still playing on his lips and it makes her weak in her knees.
"chris..." he cuts her off by reaching over and grabbing her chin, tilting her face closer to his.
"y'gonna do what i said, or keep talking back?"
she immediately unbuckles her seatbelt, moving over the center console and she gets into his lap, straddling him. she wasn't gonna act like she didn't miss him too, because, goddamn, she did. she presses herself onto his hard dick, watching him closely, and seeing how desperate and frustrated he was right now. It made her feel a little bit of a power, that she decided to take advantage of.
"now, was that so hard, ma?" he smirks even more, trying to hide his growing need for her, but his hands moves to grip onto her thighs. he felt the urge to touch her all over.
"you know, fifteen more minutes and we would be at my place-"
"you really think, i would wait fifteen fucking minutes, when i havent seen you for two weeks, and you look like that?" he loves the way she looks at him, with such admiration. she was so pretty in his eyes, he never felt this type of desperation for anyone ever before.
"and who's fault is that?" his hands grips her tighter and puts her closer in on his lap, making a little bit of friction, that he so desperately needs. his fingers digging into her skin, while he stares into her eyes.
"shut up for once, yeah?"
"make me." she smirks, challenging him. he doesn't have to hear it twice, loving the attitude she's giving him right now. his hand moves up from her thigh to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer and he kisses her roughly, grabbing her ass with his other hand as he does.
she smiles against his lips, immediately kissing him back with the same intensity, and she grinds down against his clothed dick, feeling her own need growing with every second. she missed the way he kissed her, she missed his lips, his hands all over her, his body against hers. she missed him and she hated to admit that.
she slides her tongue into his mouth, he bites her lip in response and lets her lead the kiss. moving up his hips to feel her more and not being able to hold back, he groans against her lips. he never felt so needy before. he pulls away for a moment to speak, and starts trailing kisses down her neck, squeezing her ass, before his hand moves up, caressing the skin on her exposed stomach.
"god, i hate that i missed you so much."
it slips from his mouth, he doesn't think much about it as he sucks on her skin, but for her it meant everything. she tilts back her head, giving him more space and she grinds against his lap some more, running her hand through his brown hair. he lets out a growl as she grinds down on him, making him even harder and he bucks his hips up again. lifting up his head from her neck his stare finds hers, the noticeable lust in his eyes made her bite her lip to hold back a moan. the smirk coming back to his face once he notices her flushed cheeks.
"what 'bout you, huh, ma? missed me too?"
she closes her eyes, their face so close to each other, it makes their lips brush when she replies him back.
"yeah... i did"
he grins, his hands playing with the waistband of her pants. that's all he needed to know, that she missed him as much as he missed her. even though they both were aware, they should'nt.
"how much, hm?" he unzips her pants, she lifts herself up, gripping his shoulders to balance herself and helps him take them off. then she straddles him again, trying to hold back her smile, but not being able to.
"want me to show you?"
he groans after her words, feeling her wet panties pressing against his hard dick and he bucks up his hips again, being so desperate, that he was ready to beg her. he starts marking her neck again, his hand traveling between her legs, massaging her clit through her underwear. her breath hitches in her throat, she lets out a little whine and grips his hair slightly.
"so wet already... shiiiitttt... all this f'me, huh?" he says against her skin, bitting on it slightly and making her moan. he adds more pressure, circling over her clit. "lift this shit up."
his tone demanding, he wasn't asking. she lifts up her top, revealing her breasts. he looks at her now, his eyes going back and forth between her tits, and her face. "fuck... not wearing a bra? fuckin' slut..."
he licks her hard nipple, then starting sucking on it. her hand tightens in his hair, tilting her head back and she lets out more whimpers. she was supposed to be the one in control this time, she craved it and saw how needy he is, but the way he's touching her, makes her losing her mind. he then pulls her panties to the side, running his fingers through her wet folds and suddenly putting one inside her. not even giving her any time, he just starts pumping in and out, adding another finger after a moment, now stretching her out. he pulls away from her nipple, looking at her face.
"c-chris..." she moans quietly, trying her hardest to keep the eye contact, but struggles to do so. her hands now traveling down his chest and unbuckling his belt.
"yeah, ma? y'like that?" he tries to keep his cool, still working his fingers inside her dripping pussy, curling them and making her whine in response. "look at you... so, fuckin' desperate on my lap. missed my fingers, huh? want some more?"
she desperately nods, squeezing around his fingers, but once he feels that, he pulls them out immediately putting them in his mouth to lick them clean. she whines, pouting her lips when he stops.
"show me how much you missed this dick then."
she bites her lip, unzipping his pants and with his help, she pulls them down to his knees, his boxers following after a second. chris leans his head back against the seat, gripping her hips as she gives him a few strokes before pulling her underwear to the side. she runs her thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and spreading it all over his cock, using it as a lubricant and then she lowers herself slowly on his cock, the movement making them both moan out loud with pleasure. she stays like this for a moment, needing to adjust after these past two weeks without him.
"fuckk...so tight...your pussy was made f'me.." he groans, tightening his grip on her hips and he watches her closely, as she finally starts moving on him. heâs holding himself back from moving up his hips and taking over, trying so hard not to thrust into her. he loves the feeling of her body against his and heâs missed it so much. he needed it, he needed her and he hated that. the feeling just kept growing, making the space in the car feel even smaller.
he pulls her back down into another kiss, this time more sloppy, continuing to move his tongue against hers, tasting her. she kisses him back, starting speeding up her pace and now bouncing on him harder. his dick hitting just all the right spots, making her moan loudly while chris tries to focus on the kiss and not to lose his composure. he wanted to take over, he always did, but the feeling of her riding him like that, has him gripping the seat. he grits his teeth, trying to keep himself together and he knows his patience wont last long. he looks up at her again, his eyes glued to her face.
"fuckkkk, ma.... takin' all of me so well... shit..." he hisses, when she speeds up even more. "so good.... s-so good f'me...."
she grips into his shoulders more, moaning loudly at his praises and she continues moving. chris is in complete ecstasy as she picks the pace up, a feeling like he hasnât experienced before. there's just something about her on top and taking what she wants, that's got him feeling so many things at once.
âfuck.. just like thatâ one of his hands grab her ass, giving it a squeeze and then slapping it. "fuckin' slut... you like it? fucking in my car? takin' it just like a little bitch.... yeah? shitttt..."
he moans now not being able to hold back, and he starts thrusting into her. she gasps for air, her eyes closing shut as she tightens around him. "oh, wanna cum, huh? not yet darlin'...." he grips her hips more, his tip hitting her g-spot with every move.
"chris i-"
she cuts herself off with another moan, not being able to think straight. she digs her nails into the back of his neck, her head falling down on his shoulder and he immediately stops. her eyes snap open, she lifts up her head to look at him, a smirk playing on his lips.
"you better don't look away f'me, ma.... wanna see your pretty face y'know? and keep makin' those sexy little sounds...got it?"
she nods, but it's not enough from him as he speaks up again. "use your words baby, c'mon... you aint that fucked out of your mind yet, hm?"
"i got it, just... please..." she whines, moving her hips, wanting to bounce on him again, but he stops her. she pouts. "chrissss......"
"get to the backseat." he demands, after scanning her face for a while. he wanted to give her all the pleasure she deserves. he wasn't even thinking about himself, he couldn't care less about his release. he just needed to make her feel good, making sure no one else can do what he can.
she pulls away from him, now moving over the center console again, struggling a bit but she gets into the backseat. chris obviously smacks her ass as she does, what makes her squeak.
"chris!"
but he just smirks, pulling off his pants and boxers all the way down and throwing it on the passenger seat, so it wasn't in the way. he gets on the back himself, there was little space, but enough to get into his favorite position. chris puts his hand on her back, forcing her to get on her knees and hands on the seat, as he positions himself behind her. chris loves the way he can get her all desperate and begging, so he teases her now. he moves his tip along her folds, making her whine. then he slowly puts it in, but after a few seconds he pulls back again.
"chris...." she whines, knowing he's playing with her now.
"yeah, baby?"
she bites her lip, her face pressing into the seat and she lifts up her hips more. "stop teasing me, please...."
he grins even more, slapping her pussy with his dick and then he suddenly pulls his cock all the way in, making her gasp and scream out of pleasure. the new angle let him hit all of her sweet spots.
"whatever you want, princess." he starts thrusting into her with a very intense and fast pace, going as deep as he could. the car now filled up with her moans and the sounds of skin slapping against each other. he grips her hips tight, keeping her in place. he can feel her squeezing around his cock again, and he lets out a growl. "c'mon.... cum all over me...wanna see you while y'do..."
chris moves one of his hands, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, having a good view on her face. her mouth wide open, letting out loud moans, her eyes rolling back.
"oh my god!" she cries out, gripping the edge of the seat like her life depended on it and she releases, the wet, squelching sound coming from her now louder. he groans, kissing her neck and whispering into her ear.
"you feel so good... cummin' like that f'me... such a good girl.."
she moans, squeezing around him again, the overstimulation now making her shiver as he keeps going with the crazy pace, not slowing down at all. he lets go of her hair, her head immediately falling onto the seat and he grips by her hips again, making sure she feels him as deep as he wants her to. he growls, being on the edge himself.
"i'm... close.." he mutters, throwing his head back. "gonna fill you up, yeah?"
she whines nodding desperately, but then he smacks her ass giving her a sign to answer verbally.
"shit! yes, fuck, yes chris, please!" she feels tears filling up her eyes from the pleasure, a few of them coming down her cheeks moment later. chris bites his lip, feeling her tightening around him. he moves one of his hands between her legs, now rubbing her clit, while still thrusting hard into her, but his movements getting sloppier. she cries out, her legs trembling and his dick twitches, finally cumming inside her, his warm sticky release filling her up and dripping out of her. he curses under his breath, digging his fingers into her skin, leaving bruises as he does. she feels him cumming, and the overstimulation from him lazily massaging her clit and still hitting her g-spot, makes her finish again. the pressure in her stomach now becoming too much, unable to hold back, she feels the liquid squirts out of her in waves.
his eyes snap open, looking down at her and he growls. he slows down until he eventually stops, after they both ride out their highs, this time not wanting to overstimulate her. looking at the mess she made, he can't help but feel a bit cocky about it.
"shit, ma.... squirtin' all over me, huh? is it how it is now?" he smirks, a little surprised that he made her do that but he couldn't be more proud. he pulls out of her, letting go of her hips and her body immediately falls onto the seat. she's breathing heavily, not being able to reply yet. "that's my fuckin' girl.."
he runs his fingers along her inner thigh, collecting her and his cum and he leans in a bit, covering over her. he looks at her fucked out expression and the smudged mascara on her cheeks. "look at me."
she opens her eyes, her mind blank, body shaking. he puts his fingers into her mouth, she immediately cleans them up, tasting both his and her release on her tongue, making sure she keeps the eye contact with him while she does that.
"you're so hot." he says now kissing the tears on her cheeks away. "took me so well..."
she smiles, seeing his flushed cheeks and messy hair sticking to his forehead. it was her favorite view.
"y'good, kid? don't go all mute on me now.."
"don't call me that...." she mumbles, trying to get her sarcastic attitude back, but she was absolutely spent right now. "i'm fine."
he just grins, gently patting her cheek before he pulls away. she slowly lifts herself up, trying to fight her trembling legs and she sits up now, facing him. not being able to do anything more yet, her glare moving to her legs and the seat she made mess on. she feels her cheeks growing hotter, now suddenly embarrassed and trying to ignore his stare. this never happened to her with him before and she didn't know what he thought about it.
"sorry about... the seats" she mumbles, grimacing.
he raises his eyebrows, now seeing her embarrassment and he doesn't understand why. it was a little surprising but he felt so proud. he already wanted to make her do it all over again. "you f'real? don't even say sorry, ever again."
she's still not so sure, blushing even more as he wipes her cheeks from the smudged mascara and then runs his hand through her hair, trying to fix it a little bit. he smiles softly. "gonna clean this up later, don't you worry 'bout that, okay?"
chris then reaches into the center console for the tissues, grabbing them and spreading her legs with his hands. she watches him closely seeing how he starts just gently cleaning her up. this simple movement makes her feel the heat rising from her cheeks down to her neck, so she just covers her face with her hands shyly. not really being able to understand why is she so embarrassed this time, he grabs her wrists, forcing her hands to move away from her face.
"y'gotta be kiddin' me. don't hide from me, ma." chris mutters. "not when you made such pretty mess in my car."
with a quiet sigh, she lets him take her hands off of her face. she chews on her bottom lip nervously while he goes back to cleaning her up, touching her slightly as she was made from some kind of glass. it was even cute, how he just made sure she was fine. it's not their first rough sex, but this one was definitely more intense and for some reason felt so... different. she had this strange feeling in her chest, just seeing him focused on wiping her legs and how he didn't seem to care about his covered in her release seats. once he's done, he sits beside her, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and pulling her close. she doesn't like the silence, even if before it was never awkward, this one was bothering her as she couldn't stop feeling unfamiliar emotions.
"i ran out, by the way." she suddenly blurts out, making him laugh. there was no way in hell this girl was real.
"yeah? good to know. gonna give y'some more later."
"im paying this time."
"oh, you've paid enough already." she immediately looks up at him, smacking his shoulder and he chuckles in response, pretending to be in pain. "woaaahh, bein' a little brat again, hm?"
"that's not funny, im giving you money." her tone shows no objection, he smirks and nods, knowing he won't take anything from her anyway. they sit like that for a moment, before he speaks up, knowing he will get another hit after that.
"soooo... round two?"
"christopher, i swear to god."
_____________________________
a/n: oh my god this seems sooo long đ tell me what yall think, i feel like i kinda fucked up with the whole dealer vibe but lmk please! i honestly enjoyed writing that so who knows..
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x fem reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#smut#dealer chris
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round & round! â
[ l.dh ]
{đ} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyoneâs kissing you except me :/
[â] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00â line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc
[â] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc itâs me
[â] wc. 6.1k
[â] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word âslutâ, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh
[â] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didnât mean to abandon this acc đ pls be nice i havenât written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but iâm warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bfâïž idk how active iâll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p
even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaeminâs shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.
today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewonâs first time smoking up with everyone. your friends werenât really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they werenât sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didnât, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.
you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (âi canât keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you arenât there, and now iâm pretty sure people think iâm either insane or just really fucking lonelyâ.)
now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didnât hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.
presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you donât understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.
âyou can never let me have it, huh?â, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun whoâs mouth forms a thin line. âi know for a fact you find me funny.â
you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesnât register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you donât know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.
swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. âjen,â, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. âdid you end up buying more coke?â
âcheck the fridgeâ, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaeminâs legs off your lap, muttering a couple âsorryâs when he starts to complain about the change in position.
you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.
âyou gonna share or no?â, a voice startles you, turning to find haechanâs figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.
âgod, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you comingâ, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. youâre disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.
âwhy are you pouring it into a glass?â, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. ânow we have to wash two glasses when we couldâve just drank it from the can.â
heâs right, of course, but youâre not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesnât believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.
out of all of jenoâs friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didnât really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. âloud and annoyingâ were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends werenât special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.
as of right on cue, jaeminâs voice loudly sounds out from the living room, âare you guys fucking in there or what?â.
sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechanâs shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you wouldâve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of âi wishâ under his breath.
âjeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?â, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.
âdude, chaewon and sieun look like theyâre about to fall asleep, letâs do somethingâ, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.
ânotâŠsleepyâŠâ, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieunâs shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.
âsure you arenâtâŠâ, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. âround 2? or 3, I canât really rememberâŠâ
some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechanâs face when it was your turn.
âletâs play a game or somethingâ, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.
âlike what?â, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadnât received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.
âmonopoly?â, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jenoâs playfully narrowed eyes. âokay then, big guy, whatâs your incredible idea?â
haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.
âokay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, weâre playing spin the bottleâ, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.
your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadnât played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?
it didnât fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. âwhat are we, fourteen?â, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.
maybe it was the thc talking, but it didnât really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldnât make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldnât mind getting more familiar with haechanâs lips.
you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (âshut up, y/n, he canât hear your thoughtsâŠright?â) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. âare you sure you wanna play?â, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.
âno, no, letâs play, itâs not like we have anything better to do, right?â, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.
much to renjunâs dismay, it lands on him, and itâs almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. ârenjunnie, let me kiss youâ, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the âyouâ, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and youâd have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you werenât clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.
renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.
taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you donât even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. itâs neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.
while you didnât exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.
you donât want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.
âare you okay with this?â
and when you think about, you are. âyeah, i mean itâs just a gameâ, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.
he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you canât really bring yourself to care.
jaeminâs lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasnât as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.
âdude, what chapstick do you use?â, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. âstrawberry dream, babyâ, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. ânever go anywhere without it.â
renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skinâs ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.
the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesnât exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they canât claim âno homoâ because it was the most homo thing sheâd seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.
you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, whoâs cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.
âi donât know about you guys, but i think thatâs enough exchanging of saliva for one dayâ, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, youâre disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.
haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.
âsuper bad?â, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.
settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and youâd be lying if you said you werenât feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.
youâd gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. youâd danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didnât trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.
âthis seat taken?â, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. âwhatâs up, y/n, you look a littleâŠnot present. you still high?â
itâs funny because your mind certainly wasnât present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. âyeah, iâm still highâ, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.
âokay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i sawâ, heâs pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you werenât paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesnât hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but youâre quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.
if he did catch you, he doesnât mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.
at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you canât tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.
you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel insideâ
no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?
you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you donât want that, and you want to clear your head. even though youâre feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechanâs watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.
finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you donât want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. âkissable? lock in, y/n, lock inâŠâ
âwho are you talking to?â
you wince but donât turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. youâve been gone for a couple minutes and you donât know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.
âwhatâs got you so jumpy?â, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time heâs startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason youâve been so jumpy.
ânothing, i justâŠgod, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dudeâŠâ
he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isnât helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. âwhatâs happening? youâre usually never like this, weâve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?â
you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you werenât having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. âno, hyuck, iâm fine, i justâŠneeded some waterâ, itâs a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.
âyou just seemâŠoffâ, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. âno, i justâŠâ, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but heâs just looking at you so intensely. itâs so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear youâre trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. âiâŠâ
ââiâ what? see? youâre doing it againâ, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesnât go unnoticed by you. youâre subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. âyou have this look in your eye. like you wannaâŠâ
ââŠwhat?â
everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechanâs hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.
âlike what, haechan?â, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.
âlike you want to kiss me.â
a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter youâre using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because heâs spoken what youâve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.
âam i wrong, pretty?â
judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, youâd have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if heâs waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ânoâ.
his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. âi suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss youâ, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like heâs holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like heâs daring you to break eye contact. you donât. âbut then everyone else was kissing you but me.â
normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you donât know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.
he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldnât break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.
youâre positively drunk off the feeling of haechanâs lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.
no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesnât let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a dĂ©jĂ vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.
âyou know how bad i wanted this?â, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. âfuck, iâve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over youâŠâ
you get the sense heâs talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.
youâre putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered âhaechanâs. âwhat, baby?â, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. âwhat do you want?â
your lack of answer doesnât bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. âneed you to touch meâ, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.
âyeah? need me to touch you?â, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. âthink you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we donât need everyone outside hearing what a little slut youâre being in here.â
everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldnât find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friendsâ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.
though you didnât think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechanâs shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. âlooks like the little slut canât follow a simple request.â
even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.
âplease, hyuckâ, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.
he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. heâs quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but itâs cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. âkeep. quiet.â
if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and youâre both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.
âmy pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i wouldâve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.â
his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. âcanât believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.â
youâre so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and youâre hoping that it isnât really as loud as it seems. âyouâre so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy todayâ, he laughs like heâs stating the obvious, and youâd have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didnât feel so fucking good right now.
youâre aware that youâre close and so is he because youâre clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. âyou gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyoneâs outside?â, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isnât shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way thatâs sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.
he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. âthatâs it, sweetheart, let go for me.â
your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until itâs too much, whining and wriggling in haechanâs firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of âthatâs right, babyâ and âmy good girlâ into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.
in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so youâre now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadnât just defiled jaemin and jenoâs kitchen. âyou feeling okay?â, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasnât soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and itâs when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.
âwait hyuck, let meââ
as if heâs reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. âwe can save that for another time, prettyâ, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. âthat is, i-if you want another time, of courseââ
itâs your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. âof course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.â
your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. âso, so, perfect.â
taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.
the scene youâre greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuckâs dismay. âso youâre telling me i couldâve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?â, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. âi did all that for nothing?â
âi wouldnât say for nothingâ, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. âi might have woken them up.â
âoh yeah, well now youâre going toâ, and with that, heâs dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.
#nct#haechan#kflixnet#haechan smut#haechan x reader#haechan scenarios#haechan au#haechan imagines#haechan angst#haechan oneshot#haechan drabbles#haechan fluff#haechan fic#haechan headcanons#nct fluff#nct 127#nct fic#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct au#nct smut#nct x reader#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream x reader#nct dream smut#nct dream fluff#donghyuck smut#donghyuck x reader#stoner!nct
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could i request spencer x bombshell!reader where maybe spencer and the team meet readerâs ex boyfriend / a guy she used to be interested in and heâs sooo different from spencer so he assumes her flirting is a joke but really she never had a type until she met spencer n now sheâs only into nerdy, sweater-vest wearing sweethearts <3
love ur work sm i only read spencer fics but i read all your characters bc the writing is so intoxicating !!
thank you for your request angel! <3 1k, fem
Spencer looks adorable today. Youâre not sure if he knows, but that can be easily rectified.Â
âSpencer Reid,â you say sternly.Â
Heâs immediately wide-eyed and sorry. âWhat?â he asks, pouting.Â
âYou have some explaining to do.â You glare, taking your compact from your pocket. You open it, check your appearance, fighting a huge smile as you flick the mirror on him accusingly. âSo, what do you have to say for yourself?âÂ
âI donât get it.â His eyes jump between the mirror and you. âSorry?âÂ
âYou should be sorry. Do you see how nice you look today?â He rolls his eyes. âHey, donât act like you donât know what I mean.â
You and Spencer have known each other for years now, and you love him. Youâd die for him easily in the field, and out of it too, but youâre not together and heâs bad at accepting compliments, so he shrugs you off like youâre only teasing him.Â
âMy handsome partner,â you say. Even if he isnât your boyfriend, thatâs your loophole. You and Spencer get paired for everything these days, because youâre best friends and Hotch has given up on separating you (though professionally thereâs no need). âI could eat you.âÂ
âStill mildly threatening, then,â a voice says.Â
You spin in your chair, shocked and a little horrified to find the last person you wanted to see here in Connecticut. âCory!â you say, knowing heâll believe youâre enthusiasm if nobody else.Â
âHi, beautiful. You werenât gonna call me?âÂ
Your lips pop as you reply, âI was definitely going to, just as soon as we werenât on the clock. How are you?â you ask, standing to receive the hug you know heâs going to give.Â
Cory is⊠well, heâs gorgeous, though that hadnât been why you had fun with him when you were here last. Heâd seemed nice enough and plainly interested in you at the time, and youâd been sort of lonely, so really he was a necessity of the soul rather than a want. Plus, he was very rich.Â
Gorgeous he may be, but Spencer Reid he is not. You donât deny it to yourself âthe genius behind you has completely changed your type, the kind of man you vy after, and if youâre honest, heâs the one for you. So hugging Cory and pretending youâre going to call him for drinks after the case is over isnât easy. You lie rather than reject him.
âHe seemed nice,â Spencer says in the awkward silence Cory leaves behind.Â
âSure!â you say, blowing out a hot breath. âWas I embarrassing myself? I didnât expect to see him.âÂ
âYou were the same as usual.âÂ
You tilt your head back as the door opens again, worried itâll be Cory back for a last word. Emily smiles at you knowingly, a bag of takeout in hand. âGod, did you see that?â she asks, eyebrows rising. âHe was perfect.âÂ
âIf you like the Greek god motif,â you joke.Â
Spencerâs frowning at his files when you turn back to him. âSpence, whatâs wrong?â you ask.Â
âMm? Nothing.â
âYou sure?â you ask.Â
He maintains that heâs okay as the rest of the team flood in for lunch. You pretend to believe him, not sure what youâve done to upset him but willing to figure it out. You unwrap his food for him and place his plastic cutlery on a napkin as you know he prefers, sorting through the cup drinks to find his diet lemonade. âHere, handsome,â you say, touching his shoulder gently as you sit down next to him.Â
He bristles.Â
âSpencer?â you ask.Â
He looks around the table. Hotch and Rossi are talking about something with shared smiles, while JJ and Morgan debate the case. Emilyâs on her phone with a straw between her lips. They arenât listening, and so he says, âItâs not a fitting nickname.âÂ
âWhat, handsome? Thatâs not a nickname, itâs a pet name, and itâs true. Youâre one of the most handsome guys Iâve ever seen,â âyou laugh and grab his elbow when he shakes his headâ âare you kidding? Spencer, you could be a model. Iâve told you this a hundred times. You have amazing cheekbones, just dreamy, and your lipsââ
âOh, god, please donât start,â he says, covering his face with both hands. He sounds like heâs smiling. âI shouldnât have said anything.âÂ
Hotch shoots you a donât tease look. You send him a vehement Iâm not back, waiting for him to look away before you prod Spencer again. âYouâre so cute, Spencer, you donât get it.âÂ
âI donât wanna be cute, cute isnât your typeââ
Your eyes flare. âWhat would you know about my type, Spencer? Is thisâ is this about Cory?âÂ
âOf course it is,â he says, face pink as he drops his hands.Â
âSpencer, he is not my type.âÂ
âBut you dated.â
âOne date. And that was before I realised I liked dorks in sweater vests,â you say. Youâre both acting like this is half a joke, a skit, in case youâre overheard, but youâre also both well aware that itâs serious and vulnerable and flustering to confess certain things right here and now. Too bad it has to be done. âI miss your glasses, babe, they really added to your charm.âÂ
Spencer shakes his head, picking up his styrofoam boxed lunch to ignore you.Â
You sidle close to him, your pinky finger rubbing the slightest hint of his bare wrist. âWanna get drinks with me tonight? I need a cover story in case Grecian Cory tracks me down. And, you know you get that really cute blush when you drink. What do you say?âÂ
âNo,â he says with a smile, which means yes in this instance.
You kiss his cheek, giggling at the lipgloss left behind. âYouâre my type, handsome.â
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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inbetween | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list
summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.
warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.
an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!
part one, part two, part three
âI just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. âi wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be thereâ
<>
The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.
You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.
Sent from [email protected] at 5:30pm
Hi.
I donât know when this will send because Iâm writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, Iâll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.
We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. Itâs a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations arenât.
I actually donât think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.
I hope this isnât too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while Iâm in Maryland for this case. I donât know when it would be or how long Iâd be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.
I guess I should give you my number, so you know Iâm not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that⊠I donât know.
Heres my number, 023387677
Love, Spencer.
Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasnât an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.
You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.
Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up âSpencer reid FBIâ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed â you had the upper hand.
You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.
You donât reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under âspenceâ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.
âPhone.â You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, âSorry!â
Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didnât know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working â nothing could be as important as the case.
Until you, until now.
He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.
He also checked his email a lot.
âWhats up with boy wonder?â Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.
âHe gave mystery girl his numberâ Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order â despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.
âOo, Okay lover boy.â Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. âNothing yet?â Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.
He didnât know it hadnât even delivered until a few minutes ago.
âShes probably just busyâ Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, youâd be at work.
Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didnât email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.
He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.
His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.
âAnd lover boy is inâ Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.
âAlright, We got a leadâ Hotch said entering the room.
You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.
You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.
âHi.â You muttered out a breath of air. You couldnât even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.
You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. âHold onâ He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.
âOkay.â You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.
âHiâ He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. âSorryâ I shouldâve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excitedâ Sorryâ He said.
You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. âItâs okay. I was nervousâ You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.
You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. âYou donât have to be nervousâ He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.
âBut I amâ You muttered.
âMe too.â He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness â it was still very wet from your shower.
âGoodâ You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didnât know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.
âIs good that Iâm nervous?â Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldnât see you.
âYes- No- no. No.â You muttered out, âIts uh- Its not good that your nervousâ I- Its just good that you careâ You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.
You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. âShut up.â You muttered out as it didnât take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.
âNo- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I careâ He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak â Thank god you werenât standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.
âTell me about your day.â He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasnât just an image in your head.
And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.
You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.
When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.
Sorry I fell asleep. If i didnât throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.
Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldnât fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didnât see that changing any day soon, or ever.
He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didnât know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didnât go well there was people around.
He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.
There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didnât know what you wanted. What you expected.
Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didnât think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldnât imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didnât know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didnât care.
The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldnât like him, not the way he liked you.
He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.
Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didnât want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.
You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.
What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.
You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isnât spencer.
âYes?â You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, âSpencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someoneâŠâ She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.
your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didnât do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.
you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. âHappy with that?â She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.
âHe is gorgeous.â You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.
Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, âCmon Mystery girlâ She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.
When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. âOi Reidâ She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, âLook who I foundâ She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.
Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you canât quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.
âHiâ You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.
Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencerâs face. The one you couldnât place the one they knew all too well.
He was in love.
He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.
âHiâ He whispered back.
You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.
You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. âY-You- I- Hi.â He stuttered this time.
You grinned, âCat got your tongue?â You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.
âNo. Youâre beautifulâ He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.
âSo are youâ You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didnât complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.
The night went on, you stayed by spencerâs side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldnât get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained â you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.
âAre you cold?â Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.
âA littleâ You admit. It was nothing you couldnât handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.
âThank you.â You say.
âIts okay- I donât want you to be coldâ He said softly. You couldnât help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. âFor that tooâ But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was â for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spenceâ You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.
His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. âI always think of you.â He admits, eyes on yours.
Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. âSpencer.â You say softly.
He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.
âYeah?â He says, his voice a whisper.
You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldnât ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. Youâd count the hours but you figured that was more his style.
âYou can say no, I want you to know thatâ You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didnât want to feel pressured. âCan I kiss you?â You ask.
His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.
This, right here, him, right now.
It was everything and more.
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