#this happens every time. help | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago

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[Start ID. A brown-toned comic of P3RI, the artist's botsona. They lament on how long it's been since they've played Dishonored, start playing it again, and then lie to itself that it'll keep this playthrough casual. The bottom quarter of the image lists the self-imposed challenges they rack up. End ID]

back at it again folks

#one year ago today #this happens every time. help #last time I played Dishonored (first days of nov) i did a no-kills no-detects no-powers run and set the difficulty to hard 1/3 through...#last time I played Hollow Knight (probably a bit before that) i decided not to sit on any benches (aborted when i got to the CoT #because I saw Quirrel and forgot in the heat of excitement...) while also making it a speedrun. run before that was also a speedrun #only ever finished HK on one save though. i don't think i even got to the dreamers on any others #meanwhile i've beaten dishonored like 8 times minimum. it's my comfort game and i get sad if i haven't played it in a while #peridots-art #peridots-nonsense #bots #P3RI #dishonored #oh... photos gave me a notification for and on feb 20 22 i was sad about the low chaos bunkhouse scene...#peridots-described

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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zu-is-here · 17 days ago

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During the post dark cream arc where Cross was pregnant with Aim, is it possible for Aim to mive and kick while in the soul…? And if so is it painful for Cross+

continuing @clownyclowns' comic's topic <3

#zu art #comic #post dark cream #cross!sans #preg!cross #dream!sans #undertale #undertale au #utmv #''I'm no longer who I used to be'' [pregnancy edition]#my defensive reaction to Cross' ex-crush was to draw more of him being pregnant with Dream's child /jjj #if I had a nickel for every time I drew a multi-page comic about the issue of roles & self-esteem in a same-sex family I'd have two nickels #which isn't a lot but omg it happened twice :'D #well I love me some preg!Cross with nesting syndrome & emotional swings ;w;#(or is this also a midlife crisis? >:/ gotta learn—)#little Aim in Cross' soul be like: dad is mad at papa?? not on my watch— *kicks*#a lil defender <33 #I really like how their love languages work cause Dream's is an act if service and he tries to show his love the same way by offering help #but Cross' is physical touches so he reacts sharply to the help but relaxes (breaks :'3) after hugs (Dream does to calm them both down)#men... ;w;☆#be back soon! ;3

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nanihirunkits · 5 months ago

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WE ARE | EP16

#we are #we are the series #we are series #tanfang #aou thanaboon #aouboom #boom tharatorn #my edits #weareedit #AOUBOOM MAIN LEADS WHEN???#i do appreciate them and the way they’ve been portraying tanfang #i know tan was a bit over the top 99% of the time #but every scene and touch felt so genuine #and i’m not gonna credit that to new #bc he wasn’t able to direct ppw in a way that didn’t make their kisses look a bit awkward #i know scenes have to look aesthetically pleasing in some way #and that’s why we keep having to deal the ‘no one would kiss with this much space for jesus between each other’ complaints #but like look at aouboom here #this is mostly them and their acting choices in my humble opinion #and don’t get me started on the pecks #ppw BARELY touched the other one’s lips when they had to do a peck kiss #like cmon the difference between ppw and aouboom pecks is insane #i’m sorry for picking on ppw but i’m a bit sad that some of their romantic scenes were a bit lackluster #especially that very last kiss which tbh i rather wouldn’t have seen bc it felt a bit awkward to me #but that may be just me #i need new to get a bit more frisky with kiss scenes when it comes to his directing #bc i feel like friskier kiss scenes only happen when the actors mostly do their thing after finding out what the director wants #(maybe i’m completely wrong about new but tkdkfdkddkdk)#and don’t get me wrong idgaf if there are kisses or not but if there’s a kiss scene you should commit instead of holding yourself back idk #and ppw definitely need a better director to help them achieve that bc jojo was definitely better at directing them

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macksartblock · 8 months ago

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beware of burnout it's so real i'm afraid

also bc ended up making my writing into a font to avoid killing my hand as much and bc I saw Caden do this, I thought it would be fun to see who y'all think it suits lol

#trust me i am working my way out of it lol #dndads #dungeons and daddies #normal oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy #oakworthy #once again i find them really funny being so dysfunctional #and no there is no step prior to the inevitable breakup it just happens #this is just how they are throughout college (they do not talk post graduation the reunion is the 1st time they see each other in years)#lincoln li wilson #taylor swift dndads #hero oak swallows garcia #ik i didnt write out like every character i could have but i was distracted by giving my brother impromptu sewing lessons #i didn't expect that to happen he just kinda showed up like 'I know you'd love to help me with something' like who told you that??#my artwork #edit: I wrote reignite wrong are you kidding me dugjxghshzs it was 4 am oh well

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simandy · 2 months ago

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I find it fascinating how every single one of my health issues can be mistaken for laziness

#tw ableism #->#'ugh why doesn't she pay attention to classes?? lazy' -> I'm ADHD/2e. your lesson isn't interesting enough.#'why does your table have wheels? why do you have to work from your bed? that's clearly an excuse to be able to lay down wnvr you want'->#there's something unidentified happening with my back that makes me unable to sit straight for long periods of time and it hurts LIKE HELL.#'why did you only get up at noon? that's such a lazy behavior' -> my circadian rhythm is nocturnal. I'm only truly awake past midnight and+#+it has been like that since the day i was born. mom had to stay up with baby me until 3am #tw fatphobia #->->#'why are you so fat? are you eating healthy? are you going to the gym? smaller portions girrrrllllll' ->#first of all go to hell. but anyway i actively enjoy eating healthy food #i love salads.#and yes i go to the gym regularly. almost every day.#but i have a very fun thing called PCOS and it messes up with my hormones in ways no professional could help me yet 👍#but again. go to hell.#nonsims #non sims

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destielmemenews · 4 months ago

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Due to a lot of feedback on the nature of this blog, and how the meme format can come across as insensitive and shameless, I'm considering switching to a news only post format, without the use of the destiel meme. I greatly enjoy sharing information about current events, and would like to continue doing so in some way.

So I am making this poll to ask everyone their opinion on the way I do things, and for suggestions to improve my content.

#not news #feel free to make suggestions in the comments or just yell at me anonymously #i really do enjoy reading about what's happening in the world and sharing that information with others #i mainly used the meme format to force people to read the headlines #but i don't want to make rage bait or anything like that. i honestly want to help inform people #in a time when misinformation across social media is at an all time high #so please! vote! tell me what you think! if i do reform the blog i'll still keep up all my destiel meme posts of course #and i may make a throwback destiel meme every now and then #so let me know!#probably shoulda made this just a 24 hour poll in hindsight but oh well. i'll keep news posting until the results are in and go from there

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royalarchivist · 14 days ago

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Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated! 😫

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what? 😨

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs] That's a new one.

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Tubbo: This is not what I want! I don't want this!!!

Fit: [Chuckles]

Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated!

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what?

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs]

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Fit: That's a new one.

Tubbo: Uh oh, I'm about to– I'm about to not be alive much longer.

Pac: How– ahhh!!!! Wait, this is good? [Tubbo gets killed by a mob] Oh my god, Tubbo!

Tubbo: Guys? Preggers Pac, and Fit, help!

Pac: [Reading chat] "Congratulations"? Thanks guys, I didn't know, man! As always.

Fit: [Revives Tubbo] Alright, run! Ok, you're good.

Tubbo: We got his ass!

Pac: Wait, wait– What does it mean like, I'm pregnant? I'm gonna have babies?

Tubbo: It means you're gonna give birth to a beautiful– a beautiful plethora of children!

Pac: Oh my god, not– [unintelligible]

Tubbo: [Still ranting] Merciful, wonderful babies! Babies! Innocent babies will-

Fit: [Laughs] Yeah, what he said.

Tubbo: –will splurt out of you!

Pac: Oh my god. I think I saw like, Foolish having birth the other day, so I–

Fit: [Fighting a mob] Not this thing again!

Pac: Oh my god.

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

Fit: [Laughs]

Tubbo: It's gonna be such a magical time for you!

Pac: Yeah, oh my god, I have been like, dreaming for–

Tubbo: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What do you– have you got any names? What are you gonna name it?

Pac: I'm probably gonna name it "Elton" and "John" if I have like, two.

Tubbo: Ohhh! What a beautiful name!

#Pactw #Tubbo #FitMC #QSMP #Morning Crew #September 8 2023 #~36m into Fit's stream | ~ 54:20 into Pac's stream | ~41:45 into Tubbo's stream #Head in my hands this was such a cursed bit every time this happened to anyone #Here's a fun fact for those of you who read the tags I write:#Pac once said he'd love to have twins #It was on October 27 2023 during the Minime arc #Timestamp ~ 1h 56m into Fit's stream (I don't have the timestamp for Pac's stream unfortunately)#Pac says ''I'd love to have twins!'' and then Tubbo says ''I'm fine with one; I'm the reason for the declining birth rate.''#Pftt #I remembered that comment while I was transcribing this and wanted to see if I had it written down anywhere – and I did!#Pac #Fit #Edited #Anyways I can't tell what Pac said after that ''Not'' bit earlier #At first I thought he said ''Not again'' and I had war flashbacks #But no he said something else I just can't tell what #Feel free to let me know what you think he said if you can hear it better!#The Elton John bit was going on earlier too btw Pac didn't just whip that up out of nowhere lol #You can't see it since this is Pac's POV but in Fit's chat someone said ''Mike isn't here you're going to have to help him Fit'' pftt

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somegrumpynerd · 5 months ago

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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

#UTDR #UTMV #Cross Sans #Killer Sans #Kross ship #(Kinda. It's up to interpretation)#Long post #I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to be THIS much #I started this like a week ago -A-#Lies down and lets out a long howl it's finisheeeeeed #I could have just drawn them spooning and written the rest but noooo I love to do things the hard way #Anyway I think they should be bed buddies #The company helps Cross relax enough to sleep and the touch helps knock Killer out #Cross has to be big spoon because otherwise Killer's soul gets squished and it's too uncomfortable to sleep #Also I realised Cross and Nightmare are the only two in the castle who didn't have knock knock jokes in their backstory #I like to imagine Nightmare has had similar confusing interactions with at least one of them #Cross probably spends the rest of the day panicked that he overstepped a boundary or the others will make fun of him #Not realising that Dust and Horror have fallen asleep together many times #Or that Killer hasn't slept properly in weeks and he's in heaven #I'm NOT drawing a follow up so just imagine Killer coming to Cross's room the next night and finding every excuse to stay #Because he wants it to happen again but he has no idea how to ask (and also Cross seems kinda awkward about it)#Absolutely terrified that I spent my whole week off working on this and it might be not that great so I hope at least one person likes this

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lotus-pear · 14 days ago

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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second #genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent #she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice #in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid #how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka #selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again #her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey #she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process #becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain #finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making #last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ��️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died #sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me #genuinely just like. sick and twisted #very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl #harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become #actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break #refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them #last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring #being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn #also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make #i have a type i fear #HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series #meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice #i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀

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so-i-did-this-thing · 22 days ago

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I can't control people's face-blindness, but my god, it's depressing when people think Sam Reich's slick, late night TV powerhouse comedian suit style is in the same sartorial universe as my little vintage countryside gent look.

#help it is happening again #i stand by my petty blocking #every time people say I dress like him #all I can picture is Boss Baby and I am *offended* lol

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erinwantstowrite · 29 days ago

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oh god oh GODDD im so excited for the comic strip scene to appear in fic bc bruce and petey’s hug is making my heart ACHE… specifically the way that the goober leans his WHOLE BODY into it and then bruce places a secure hand on his back and cradles the back of his head ough OUGHHH like that action is so like . yeah you sure are an uncle ben counterpart bc clearly you love this kid with everything you have and are giving him a guiding hand . but also but ALSO something about the movement is so … batman pulling robin under his cape … providing careful shelter to a kid who needs it so bad … like if im dick and i see my father figure and my kid caring for each other to the point of enacting change (bruce being emotionally intelligent and petey letting himself trust + be tactile) im sobbing and throwing up bc my heart is so full . like he cares he learned from his mistakes w me … and my baby who deserves everything gets to reap the benefits and soak up all that honest affection like AUGHHH its all worth it its all worth it

bruce makes me so emotional sometimes because the older he gets the more he learns from his mistakes and the more guilty he feels about his older children and trying to make up for it in every possible way,,, i PLAN for right after this conversation with peter and bruce, for dick to see it and bruce tug him into the hug and AGGHH they make me emotional. bruce was like "i can't get attached because peter has to go home" ans then proceeded to fail at not getting attached. but we all knew that would happen (look at his track record...)

#this ask made me ill /pos #because that was exactly the intention #i hc bruce does give really good hugs he just doesn't initiate because of what happened #hc bruce was a cuddlebug when he was a kid too but stopped after his parents died...#cycles repeating but in a healthier way each time because people are allowed to learn from their mistakes and grow #bruce hugs his kids like he can shield them from the entire world #and that's exactly how you're supposed to hold your children #erinwantstowrite #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #leap of faith ao3 #peter parker #leap of faith catch me if you can #thank you for the ask!#bruce wayne #batman #batman crossover #peter parker in gotham #peter leans into touch like a cat literally every time #he can not help it #half the time he does not know he's doing it #need more of cass braiding/playing with peter's hair cause she knows he loves it without him saying it

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benevolenterrancy · 4 months ago

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@hereticcryptid I appear to be slowly but surely developing an entire series about how Hensheng and Baxia apparently get fed up with their owners' inability to express their feelings and take matters into their own hands...