#this guy ive hated for being so incompetent

[daintyshu]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 — 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐮.

pairing. ??? x fem!reader

synopsis. in which you work at odd atelier cafe and can only make hearts in your lattes, causing a certain boy to misunderstand your intentions..... then he brings his friends and chaos ensues.

featuring. all of blackpink, renjun and haechan of nct

genre. romance, reverse harem, comedy i hope, bit of angst

warnings. language, inappropriate jokes, will update

inspo. me working at a cafe and my incompetent ass only being able to make hearts in my lattes and some guy thinking i was flirting with him 🫠

author's note. hi!!! it's my first ever smau so pls go easy 🥹 taglist are open just lmk if you wanna be added!

pls dont spam like!!! reblogs are appreciated :>

started: 11th march 2024

completed: NA

PROFILES

• oddities (the babies)

• tutor, tutees and heeseung

• oddities (the superiors)

CHAPTERS

i. pretty singer barista?

ii. donghyuck is SICK

iii. heeseung FOMO

iv. kissy on the lippy

v. all my friends are Fake

vi. big boy papers (written 0.85k)

vii. new friend (written 0.53k)

viii. riki hyung

ix. hee knows (written 0.72k)

x. heeseung's firsts (full written 1.99k)

xi. take me out ⁉️

xii. feelin like kanye fr

xiii. the fun day out (written 1.2k)

xiv. bitchless hoon (written 1.5k)

xv. calm (written 1.2k)

xvi. jakehoon

xvii. heeseung's master plan (written 1.3k)

xviii. different (written 0.58k)

xix. mint choco lover (written 0.88k)

xx. white heart

xxi. me and my homies hate [redacted] 🗣️

[dragonnarrative-writes]

im the anon who sent that gaz ask and omg kyle's interlude was so good!!!!! im just giggling thinking of kyle wondering how much does she know? did she catch on somehow? fuck I have to take her out quick before she finds out how many projects ive finished and the whole time miss new girl is like. wow this guy fucking sucks at his job i want him gone from my hospital >:(

mans thinks shes gonna file a case with a police and she just thinks he's incompetent as shit

I'm so tickled. That's exactly what's happening.

CW: discussions of death and dying, autopsies, medical neglect

There’s something going on on the cardiac floor that you just… can’t quite put your finger on.

This isn’t the first hospital you’ve worked at, but you’re also new to urban healthcare, so you don’t want to rock the boat by being paranoid. But traffic from the cardiac floor is… steady. You’ve read the papers, know the stats like the back of your hand. And the cardiac floor is perfectly in line with expected trends. Every. Month.

There are fluctuations, of course. Plus or minus three to seven lives is nothing remarkable in cardiology. Macabre, maybe, but true. But that’s unnatural. In the seven months you’ve worked here, you’ve seen waves elsewhere in the hospital. The plastics floor had a month with zero deaths followed by a month of a persistent infection sweeping through the otherwise reasonably healthy patients. Oncology has seen a steady decline in patients sent your way, thank goodness. Even emergency and intensive care aren’t as fixedly consistent as the cardiac floor.

When you wonder about it aloud to the director, Dr. Martins just shrugs. “We have a good team up there. Very good at keeping things clean and double and triple checking their work.”

“But if that’s the case, then the number of deaths should be going down,” you point out.

Dennis gives you a rueful smile. “That’s not always how human bodies work, unfortunately. You know that.”

You do know that. Which is why the consistency grates against your nerves. So you decide to do a little digging.

The name that comes up the most often in the chart notes is one Kyle Garrick.

That’s actually not 100% accurate. He’s charting exactly the way he’s supposed to. And no nurse has complete, individual access to patients 24/7. But every dying patient he has access to is… perfect. Their blood work, labs, vitals, prognosis, medication adherence and refusal is almost too-the-letter, textbook precise.

The most obvious answer is that Garrick, and probably a couple of other nurses on the floor, are fudging the numbers.

The idea is infuriating. You hate the way the administrators keep changing medical record systems just as much as the next person, but inaccurate charting is a safety issue. People can, have, and do die because someone writes down the wrong timing for medications or assumes that a patient’s vitals are unchanged. If anything, this is probably worse than that. The fact that everything is so pristine probably means that some patients are just being written off. The nurses might be deciding who gets the excellent care the hospital is known for and who gets neglected.

You stay three hours late investigating the next cardio patient that ends up in your morgue.

After examining the body and reading, rereading, and re-re-re-reading his chart, you find it. A stutter in the dosages of blood thinners, a slightly higher blood pressure reading from someone who isn’t nurse Kyle fucking Garrick. Just enough evidence to have you testing the body with an aspirometer almost too late. And there it is. A fatal air embolism.

You want to scream, but the dead man doesn’t deserve that.

Three weeks later, sipping from your water bottle, someone calls into the office. “Knock knock.”

Dennis practically lights up. “"Good morning, Kyle. Been a bit since you've come to see us. Care for some tea?"

Your eyebrows shoot up. Dr Martins hates unexpected visitors. Then you look over your shoulder, and you understand. Even old queens aren't immune to pretty privilege. The man that’s leaning in the doorway is gorgeous. Maybe its because you work with dead bodies all day, but his eyes and skin seem to glow, even under the fluorescents.

"Can't," the man says, apologetically. "Just dropping someone off."

"Well, at least let me introduce our new nurse!"

The fact that you’re wiping crumbs off of your mouth over a paper plate is the only reason no one sees your face fall when you hear him say, “Nice to meet you. Kyle Garrick.”

[adventures-in-teyvat]

You know what would be funny duo. Cyno n Heizou. Because they are straight up, buddy cop duo.

Heizou is funny rule breaker, comedic relief. Cyno is by the book, serious thought guy.

Heizou would constantly die of cringe when Cyno makes his dry as sand jokes. Cyno would be so done with Hei’s constant flirting. If its a police modern au. There be like constant thought, are they friends or just hate each other.

Honestly it be funny to see their debate about law.

YOU GIVE THE MOST BASED TAKES IVE EVER SEEN thank you for your immaculate contributions to my blog i love you so much

what’s so incredible about this is that they are both silly guys, but they are silly guys of different flavor.

heizou is full of sarcasm, wit, subtle flirtations, teasing, etc; and then on the other side of the spectrum we have cyno, whose whole schtick is being so unfunny that it’s endearing. his humor is such a slap in the face that sometimes it actually ends up being funny. and it makes it even better that their styles of humor are the exact opposite of their styles of enforcing law.

heizou is pretty tolerant of most things—i think it takes a lot to get under his skin. and i feel like the one thing that gets under his skin the easiest is incompetence, or what he perceives as incompetence. since his humor is so witty, and he very much enjoys mind games, i feel like he’d find cyno’s slapstick style to be somewhat annoying, which is hilarious. he wouldn’t see it as incompetence, necessarily, because he knows the general is intelligent and perfectly capable, but the simple style of the humor and the way cyno delivers it puts “annoying” in the same category as incompetence.

usually heizou is the annoying one—in literally any situation, he is always the annoying one—but here, he’s put in the position of being so flabbergasted at cyno’s attempt at a joke that he is left grasping for something to say. but he cannot. cyno’s jokes invoke brainrot.

and the reason i think it could go this way but not vice versa is because cyno is quite literally unbothered. any attempt heizou makes at one-upping him or getting him to stop with the puns fails horribly, because cyno just really doesn’t care. there is not anyone more unbothered. he’s just doing his own thing. and i feel like that would end up getting to heizou in the end, because he’s so used to getting to others. he thinks so much and analyzes everything; his style of humor is creative and intricate; so in the end it’s terribly ironic that the one thing getting to him would be someone whose idea of humor is the most dry delivery of puns.

now on the other hand, with their styles of law enforcement, it would be the exact opposite.

heizou’s freeform attitude would bother cyno to the point of actual, visible emotion. which is rare for him! he just really, really likes structure, and rules are very important to him. the idea that someone else in his occupation would find it so easy—fun, even—to color outside the lines is completely beyond the general mahamatra.

cyno: there are rules for a reason.

heizou: but what if the law isnt always what’s right :3

cyno: then change the law.

heizou: but it’s not that easy :3

etc etc etc

hehehe they would be a very amusing pair of friends—i think that under their slight disdain for each others’ differences there would be a very clear foundation of respect <33

[horizon-verizon]

At the end of the day, Rhaenyra went down in history as a traitor and dismissed as nothing more than a usurper and a pretender. Even her own sons didn’t move a finger to give her a place as ruler of the Seven Kingdoms in history. In The World of Ice and Fire, Yandel doesn’t give Rhaenyra a chapter for her short-lived reign while he does give one to the similarly short-reigning Aegon II. In The Princess And The Queen, Maester Gyldayn exalts the Blacks and her children’s qualities (even the Velaryons) while still disliking her. And no other Targaryen that we know of has been called ‘Rhaenyra’ because the infamy she gained has tainted the name for future generations. Planning lavish feasts for herself and her son while King’s Landing suffered under her crippling taxes. A cartoonish villain with staggering, jaw-dropping incompetence and stupidity.

Pfft.

You: "At the end of the day, Rhaenyra went down in history as a traitor and dismissed as nothing more than a usurper and a pretender."

LINK AS ANSWER (merely one of many posts I wrote regarding biased maesters, unreliable narrators defined by misogyny and ambition; how Viserys failed her; men and women who wanted to seize power for themselves and used Rhaenyra's social disadvantages being a woman in a patriarchal world; etc.....each post is linked to another, earlier post regarding this topic)

You: "Even her own sons didn’t move a finger to give her a place as ruler of the Seven Kingdoms in history"

LINK AS ANSWER

You: "In The World of Ice and Fire, Yandel doesn’t give Rhaenyra a chapter for her short-lived reign while he does give one to the similarly short-reigning Aegon II. In The Princess And The Queen, Maester Gyldayn exalts the Blacks and her children’s qualities (even the Velaryons) while still disliking her."

Other than me already giving the links to other posts above to my answers to these thoughts (bc you're just that unoriginal)...

that was decided by a group of mostly men who do not and never would have cared to inspect a woman's trials and tribulations, esp after seeing how they "reasoned" out Baela being Aegon III's heir by basically saying she is too disobedient and nonconforming of sexually-and-psychologically constraining gender norms used against women so men like these can more easily control them ("The Hooded Hand"):

and clearly:

All the reasons they listed out had more to do with how much of a hand they themselves could have in how the dynasty would look for their own interests rather than anything that reflects on Baela's character...which was actually very solutions and clever as well as brave and self-determined without being oppressive towards the little guy. Stuff very good in a ruler. Baela had all the makings of a good ruler...but she is passed over for superficial and sexist reasons hinting they wanted her to act "like a good girl". So that means that Rhaenyra was not hated or excluded from some lists of Westerosi rulers for her personality, not competency or performance as a ruler. She's excluded bc the maesters and lords and septons all agreed that they must maintain the primacy of male primogeniture.

Now Rhaenyra towards the end became a tyrant, but she wasn't always that way as I already said in many posts. Yes, she was already likely elitist but 1) this doesn't mark her as different from most everyone (nobles) around her, so why do people single her out esp when Alicent, Aemond, and Aegon all performed heinous deeds themselves unprovoked? 2) She became the worst version of herself after losing several things AND trying to "get her lick back" in trying for her throne.

In lieu of all these, it is very clear that the main problem Rhaenyra had & why she found so much trouble and tragedy just trying to become queen was bc people took advantage of the fact that she, as a woman, was not given the grace nor confidence of leadership as men get. Men like Maegor I, Jaehaerys I, Aegon the son of Aenys, Aenys I, Aegon IV, etc.

You: "And no other Targaryen that we know of has been called ‘Rhaenyra’ because the infamy she gained has tainted the name for future generations."

Basically already answered this.

You: "Planning lavish feasts for herself and her son while King’s Landing suffered under her crippling taxes."

LINK AS ANSWER (Scroll down to where I requote "Rhaenyra instead planned a lavish induction")

Also, Aegon built two golden statues...in wartime...this also took money.

You: "A cartoonish villain with staggering, jaw-dropping incompetence and stupidity."

Well, that honor more goes to Aemond, who literally decides to kill both grown men and children in the open yard of their former castle to make a point about his own strength and later takes one of their bastard relatives as his war prize/sex slave despite him killing another of their (alleged and who he thinks bc Harwin is told to be the parent) relatives for being a bastard...Lucerys. Also for not going down to fight with Criston when Criston advised him to join Daeron & the Hightower host, joining strengths so they could then retake KL. Aemond openly refused, saying he saw that as the "coward's" way and that he didn't want to share the glory with either of his brothers. So he just stayed back at Harrenhal with Alys until he flamed down several riverland towns and villages hoping to draw any black out to meet him in a "glorious" battle. Also, the same guy who got tricked easily by Daemon into leaving KL and making the greens lose KL.

[jackienautism]

I’m kinda surprised that you don’t like Dylan? He seems to be such the fan fav I don’t think I ever actually seen anyone rank him so low on their list- what’s your opinions on his character?

yeaah i just didnt really vibe with him when i played, plus i got pretty annoyed seeing him everywhere before getting into the game (travis too but thats a whole nother thing). like good for all you guys for having fun but i just cant get into it

im gonna be honest about my opinions on him so if you reeaaaaally like dylan i recommend not reading. and i mean that genuinely

1.ive just. i immediately saw dylan as one of those like male characters that get super popular in a fandom bc he: is white.is a guy. is a brunette. is associated w/ a gay ship. and is fit under a "bad boy / mentally ill / misunderstood" trope. i truly and honestly dont care if someone likes these types of characters. as long as you're not a fucking freak, i dont give a shit what you do. its just such a prominent trend that should make you go HMMMMM fandom hates women and people of color! and basically im just sick of that trend! so seeing dylan also fit into it turned me super off lmao

2. in relation to his character, i think its fine, i guess, its nothing revolutionary. especially in regards to other supermassive characters.... i thought about this during work one day and like. emily has a similar character to dylan LOL and ive had this thought before but. dylan and emma are also very similar character wise! in terms of like. compensating ina very negative way due to insecurity! but you know whch characters get the most flack for being dicks? for being bitches? for being the worst? and you know who doesnt?

3. i also particularly hated the thing he did to abi during the camp fire scene. like. i dont care if you compensate by making jokes and shit, you're still an asshole. and so is emma. and so is emily. i dont understnad why dylan should get ANY different treatment. but anyway, that dare was absolutely targeted towards abi and nothing will change my mind on the matter. abi is very clearly on the outside of the group. hell, the entire time everyone (mainly kaitlyn and emma) makes comments about how incompetent abi is when it comes to dating anf shit. and so for dylan to ask what he did? it put her on the fucking spot and humiliated her. i dont care if he "saves" it if you dont interrupt as ryan, there's absolutely no way hes unaware of abi's standing social wise in the group. him asking HER that of all people is just shitty. he fucking knows what abi's answer is gonna be. and even though she never answers the question, the damage is already done.

and before anyone says anything, i know nick also was targeted in diff ways for being "incompetent" in this specific sense. which is another conversation im willing to have. but even so, rthe comment ryan still makes bout not letting that "prep aesthetic fool you"? and the way he kisses emma? he clearly has got some "game" or whatever the fuck. whereas abi doesn't really have any of those moments (except for kissing nick first, which is something kaitlyn ryan and dylan said she wouldnt do LOL). and speaking of kaitlyn? and in association, emma? what they did to abi is one of the things i hate most about them and what happens in game. its actually what made me begin to DISLIKE both of them when it happened. basically what im saying is, kaitlyn and emma arent exempt from this criticism just because i dont like dylan. and i also dont care if thats the "point" of truth or dare. it still makes all the characters involved fucking dicks. they know how abi is like, emma especially, so seeing them all pull this shit is just disheartening and sad.

and 4. i like being hastag different

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[snow-and-saltea]

i dont know how to word this well but hopefully my point gets across. as ive gone through lots of manga/hwa/huas for the past few years, there's been a lot less hate for fat female characters, and when the author portrays negative traits in them, the comments are always up in arms to defend said character or point out that it was unnecessary and was adding onto a distasteful image of associating fat people = evil in media. that's good!

but i've realised that there's not as much defense or uproar when it's a fat male character? you know the one. they'll be drawn comically fat with tiny features to show that even the author thinks this character is a waste of time to put effort into giving them a design full of character details and an actual Story. they might even be bald in some cases to drive home the "lecherous old man preying on the helpless" image. they'll be bumbling, incompetent, the most inarticulate bastard in the story, and the author wants you to KNOW it. look at this guy. he's obviously meant to be hated. look how pathetic he is and how he pales in comparison with our hero, who is charming, pure snow-white in morality, Has Never Done Anything Wrong Ever.

the trouble is, unlike female fat characters that are often used as a sort of cynical, pessimistic evil whose entire identity is to prove that "sometimes you're ugly both inside and out", that isn't the case for fat male characters. in a way, fat female characters have a "way out", so to speak, because there IS a probable cause that's snowballed the problem until its become a mountain; particularly, the cord that binds how they're expected to perform in society (gender roles, sexism, internalised misogyny) and how they feel they aren't able to escape scrutiny anyways for being ugly, even if they're good. so why not go all the way? what's the use in being halfheartedly acknowledged for who you try to be, when you could be the worst version of yourself, and at least THEN they'll finally look at you proper? so a lot of fat female characters who turn evil are often in this line of thought, i think. despite how much they're trying to break free from the preconceived notions of what people want them to be, it still clashes with their innate desire to be seen, accepted, and loved by other people. so the answer to "redeem" them? simple. accept them. that's enough to write a satisfactory redemption arc to turn them "good" again.

but fat male characters... i've noticed that they're written with crimes much heavier and much more serious than their female counterparts. their appearance is never purely for the sake of psychological friction (stirring the pot, instigating distrust) in the story. we see them drawn with disgusting lustful expressions to show that they haven't moved past primitive desires (they're worse than children—they're children with an adult's ability to get what they want), touching people inappropriately, their minds always turning to the worst possible scenario, their dialogue always written with an undercurrent of narcissism, like the river of his own life was completely empty save for his own self-admiration. is that really all there is to them? how did they manage to get this far in life without ever experiencing or being convinced — or tried to be convinced — to change? has he, in all his years of living, never experienced a shred of empathy for others? has he never felt touched by the connection of another human being?

and then at the end of the story i know it was useless to ask these questions — he only existed as a plot device, as an antagonist for the final climax and resolution, the dragon to be slayed.

but he's not a dragon. he's a human, and despite his current problematic views on life or people, i'd like to try and imagine what it's like to "redeem" him.

but almost always, there IS no way. the author has cut off every possible escape route for him. he was always evil. he can't be helped. he can't change. he was always going to do this, so there's no point in imagining a world where he didn't.

but like. why? why do fat female characters get to be redeemed with the power of Love and Friendship but not him? why is it not enough for him to be bad, he must also be dangerous beyond recourse?

i don't really know the answer to this question, since i'm AFAB and i don't have insight on the matter beyond my own speculations. but the only thing i know is that it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when i see him being toppled over as the final Evil, and everyone cheering in the comments with "i've always found him sus" "finally you disgusting pig" "i hope he never shows up ever again"

i have to say, i don't like the idea, especially in fiction, that people are irredeemable and unworthy of compassion. of course this isn't a plea to forgive them or to get them out of fictional jail or whatever, but i'd at least like to entertain the thought that i want to know the entirety of a person's character before writing them off, and you can do that in stories. i can't do that in real life. i would kill myself trying. sometimes people just hurt you and you have to accept that they hurt you to give yourself express permission to protect yourself.

but in fiction... are you really telling me that a world with dragons can exist but not the possibility of change for a character whose fate was set in stone the moment their shape was carved into existence?

[the0d00r]

ok so i made a post last night abt how albus severus potter should be renamed to rubeus regulus potter and a pro snape person replied to it by saying; "Without Snape Harry would have died on the first book" and how snape is the embodiment of sacrifice and yeah sure he was a goodish guy in the end (i dont rlly remember how but for the sake of this post im going to keep talking) but just because snape died a somewhat heroic death (he didnt i agree with harry snape is a bloody coward) doesnt excuse the fact that snape was a major dick

he bullied all the children he saw as incompetent (ex: harry just bc he looked like his dad and he bullied neville to the point snape became neville's boggart at the age of 13 and alot of the students who werent in slytherin)

he hated muggles and muggle borns he was just as much as a bigot as avery and wilkes he was inlove *cough* obsessed *cough* with how lily made him feel smart and important bc he was her first exposure to the wizarding world and in a way he further pushed lily and petunia's relationship to end with how he treated petunia bc she wasnt magic

he was a fucking idiot like why would you listen to someone who hates you about going to the shrieking shack to find a werewolf like sirius probaby told snape bc he thought snape wouldve been smarter and wouldnt actually go (im not dismissing the fact that sirius told snape, it was wrong and he shouldnt have but snape almost dying there would definitely not have happened if he just stayed away like any smart person would)

and coming back to the snape being obsessed with lily thing like he didnt care that an infant and their family would be killed until he found out it was lily's family and (if i remember correctly) he was mainly begging dumbledore to save lily snape didnt give a shit about james and harry

just because he had a shit childhood does not give him the excuse to be an immature asshole whos only on the 'right' side, not out of the goodness of his heart, but because he wouldve been sent to azkaban if he didnt do what dumbledore said

theres much more that he did but my memory isnt the best and its been awhile since ive read the books but i just hate when people defend characters like snape so i had to rant about it for a bit

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

I rarely feel this alone its probably because I didn't eat anything all day and because I didn't drink water all day and because my bf yelled at me again this morning for complaining o r not listening or something and because I have bpd and because I felt ostracized at my university and because I failed my classes and because I don't wanna be part of that bs propaganda statistic that weed enjoyers do not do well in college and drop out because that is only part of the problem weed can make people distracted and "lazy" for sure but that applies with pretty much any other legal "drug" or other form of entertainment, and I also feel alone because I did bad at school because I live in like two different places and still don't have a car or drivers license IN TEXAS and also because I am constantly scared all the time of everything and also because everything is exhausting and also because I have been needing to do my laundry for months now and also because I have adhd and have been undiagnosed my entire life until like 2 years ago and also because I feel like everyone hates me and no one will ever like me for the dysfunctional angry abusive disgusting incompetent useless and stupid person I really am and I am a literal burden to everyone that has ever interacted with me and also because I hate everyone and also because I want to be perfect and amazing all the time and solve everyone's problems so we can all be friends and no one ever thinks im weird or yells at me or hates me or tells me to do shit ever ever ever again and also because I am living in America and also because there is an entire population of people being erased and its happening in front of our eyes and all the awareness is great but im really scared nothings helping I guess I should donate after this or at least spread some more awareness idk

I hate that I havre so much to complain about when im literally living some peoples dream. I cant believe these opportunities were wasted on me. it should've been someone else that went to school and got the degree instead of dissapointing everyone and being an awkward outcast in the classroom.

im literally making this about myself I don't know how I can be so selfish. my bf gives me shit all the time about how I complain too much and look for problems instead of solutions, which I understand but he seemed very skeptical when I say that conflict is an addiction in some cases especially traumatized kids (me)

im so hurting guys im in so much pain ive been in pain a lot of my life, like not a lot a lot but a fair amount for sure

ive been running on between 15% ~ 5% battery for the past 6+ years I don't know how much time I have left

and don't even get me started on the health concerns I be smoking and vaping (vaping isn't nearly as often tho) and omg I just saw that kurzegazxt (idk how to spell them) video about smoking lmfao

I feel like according to everyone ive ever interacted with, I am either trying too hard (stressing about overly specific schedules) or not trying hard enough (snapping and or having a meltdown "on purpose")

everyone wants something from me and even when they don't want anything I am suffocated by my thoughts telling me Im not doing enough for them I am so exhausted and scared and sad this world is such an evil and rotten place sometimes I am so scared for the fate of humanity we are so screwed and hopeless (ok not really but this is my mindset rn and its MY MENTAL EPISODE I GET TO CHOSE THE RANT LYRICS)

oucccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ouuuuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhh

chat, is it ethical to ask someone to "just stop" having symptoms of emotional irregulation? omg Imma make a poll lmfao

just everything is bad rn im really going through it my life is falling apart and I keep ruining everything and its all my fault because I am not disciplined enough I hate

om,g that funny moment when your dad doesn't let you take meds when you actually wanted to try them and then you try weed and its cool but it does not help with school because work hates you, and so you try to get back into meds when you're in school and you never prepare enough for each semester and there wasn't time to adjust to new meds before the semester and then I ended up doing weed again because I cant just do the entire semesters unmedicated. ME??? MY ADHD ASSS????? TRYING NOT TO DIE AT UNIVERSITY????????

WITHOUT SUBSTANCES???????????

Oh goodness

Anyway but yeah that paragraph is basically just saying I wish I coulve had meds before I tried za. that way my chances of graduating without going to the psyche ward twice wouldve been probably been at least a little higher

and now guess who's giving me shit and probably hates me to death because im abusing their son/grandson and im not taking meds yet because I haven't had time to look for an in person psychiatrisist because im still looking for a job because I haven't cleaned my room yet because of the stupid internet sucking me into an infinite abyss of capitalized attention spans. yep that's right, my potential in laws. im sure they cant stand me anymore. his grandma literally told me to "take care of him if you know what's good for you" and I know that cleaning the house and not being verbally abusive is a great way to ensure our future family doesn't get sick.

im gonna kms guys ok not really but I think about it a lot sometimes I really cant stand this anymore

HOOOOOOOW DO YOU ACCEPT CONTSTRUCTIVE CRITICIMS NORMALLY>???????????????? HOW DO YOU JUST NOT BE SCARED BECAYSE YOU CAN'T TELL IF THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU IS JUSTIFIED OR IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF??????????????

HOOOOOOOWWWWWW???????????????

OH AND ASO because my brother hates me and has gone no contact with me for the past few months and he just doesn't talk to me ever and also I want to die so bad and my cat

oh my cat

wang ja my beloved

*starts tearing up* ooough my caaaaaat..

my cat oh my beloved cat is almost in his 30s in cat years and I feel so horrible because he had to live with my parents for most of his 20s and late teens while I spent a lot of time with my bf because he was my safe space once, and now I see he's getting older even if only slightly and my house is so boring and the food is so shitty I want to give him fresh food from the farm and give him lots of fresh air and exercise and we just cant have those nice things rn because we live in a society. :"(((((((((

omg please someone just stab me i cant take this

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 2)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Okay here we go we’re totally fine doing great cool calm and collected not gonna freak out even tho I know my baby Lu Lu comes back this episode we’re fine

Starting off with a fuckin bang with the painted bride and groom from the trailer

Aww baby pushed them into the ocean

I love Su

“YESSS QUEEN IVE ALWAYS SAID SO” lmao ily buttons

Her voice is so hot omg

I love the ship of women iconic

Omg good vibes

“Your energy” that was a very lesbian thing to say

OH MY GOD LUCIUS

LU LU

MY ANGEL LUCIUS MY PRECIOUS NATHAN FOAD I LOVE YOU IVE MISSED YOU

PETES FACE AWWW

PHAHAHAHAH THEY LOOK SO DISGUSTED AT THE GUYS DOG PILE THATS SO GOOD

“And now you have a beard” “do you hate it” (HE LOOKS SO GENUINELY WORRIED AWW BABY AS IF PETE COULD EVER HATE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU) also the fact that I know Nathan was so thrilled abt getting to have the beard lmao “I love it”

AWWWWWWWWWWWW STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THIS REUNION IS SO GOOD

STOP YOU CAN TELL HOW HEARTBROKEN PETE WAS AND HOW RELIEVED HE IS

The cut to the rest of them just watching lmaooooo

“What exactly happened to you Lucius” “I was- I fell… off the ship” NOT HIM PROTECTING STEDE FROM HEARING WHAT ED DID AWW

“Lucius… I’m overqualified for towels”

YES BUTTONS U ICON

“I had a very rough night last night” lmaoo I was waiting for that

OH MY GOD HE HAD TOLD FRENCHIE TO KILL IZZY WHAT THE FUCK

NO

Oh my god is it gonna be iz in the walls instead of Lucius lmfao

Oh my god Izzy resisting their help lmao Izzy shut the fuck up u stupid little boy I love you

“WHICH ONE” “OH DEFINITELY THE FUCKED UP ONE I THINK THAT ONES ALRIGHT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT” PHAHAHAHHA

Idk who this girl is but she’s v much giving Edward Teach (but like happy in love Ed teach not heartbroken Ed teach) but w tits and I’m here for it

Well this is disgusting

Did NOT need these sound effects tyvm

“Maggie… Jane… tif… give us the room” OOOO LU IS IN A MOOOOOD

“FUCK YOU THATS HOW I AM” Lucius we do not need this hostility right now

I guess he wasn’t protecting stede cause he’s fine w saying it now

*AGGRESSIVE TAPPING* “HE PUSHED ME”

“You broke him when you left and then he broke me. Everything that’s happened to me since has been your fault” shiiiiiiiiiiit lu

THAT DRAMATIC STOP IN THE DOOR IK WE FEEL SHITTY RN BUT THE GIRLBOSS NEVER STOPS W NATHAN FOAD

“Right what have we here” “hey 😋🙂😄” ily again ed

*genuinely concerned* “is someone injured” ed lmao

ED UR SCARING ME STOP

Aww Izzy my baby

“What’s your interest in this guy anyways he seems like a bit of a dick” “He is. But he’s our dick” AWWW

STOP I CANT HANDLE THE FLASHBACKS AWW JIMMMMMMM

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

I THOUGHT THEY WERE HOT TOGETHER BUT I WAS LIKE NO NO NO THE WRITERS WOULDNT DO THAT TO OLU

“What was that for” lmaooooo

JIM NO WHAT I DIDNT THINK THEYD KISS HER BACK WHAT THE FUCK DONT DO THIS TO OLU RIGHT AFTER A FLASHBACK THING ABOUT HIM

HOW COME THE ONE FUCKING TIME IM LIKE “OH THEYD BE CUTE TOGETHER” AND IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS ITS FUCKING CHEATING NO JIM THATS NOT COOL JESUSSSSSS

Holy shit Edward leave Izzy the fuck alone he can’t defend himself right now

Ed had these like moments of going back to how we was before

Is su gonna try to get with him

I LOVE THAT OTHER GIRL I DONT KNOW HER NAME I FORGOT IT BUT I LOVE HER

“We eat but how often do we taste”

*holding a joint* “yeah the broths pretty wild” lmao Lucius ur such a little bitch I love you

Nathan Foad is like actually acting now that’s crazy like he’s not just being his goofy little self

“Jesus christ stede keep your pants on”

“so babe you smoke now?” “Do I? Oh yeah I must’ve picked it up somewhere or something I don’t know” LU UR SO EMO OMG

“Look at his beard Mr cool” stede is using every tool in his cute little handy manny tool chest to get Lucius to like him again and he’s failing spectacularly

“Being captained by jiang it really makes the shitty pathetic incompetent captain stand out”

“My spicy little rat boy” “NEVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT” holy absolute shit lu. My jaw dropped so fast. I simply cannot wait to hear the undoubtably traumatic backstory behind that name. Something to do w what he had to do to survive for sure

“I’m gonna go… fix something… in towels” “what the hell is going on in towels”

Omg Izzy’s awake

“Are you here to take the other one?”

Holy shit what’s going on

Oh my god both of them are so fucking mentally ill it’s insane

Ed’s guilt once again showing itself in fucking insane ways

Fuck offff no matter how much Ed has hurt Izzy he can’t kill him because he LOVES HIM FUCKKKKKKKK

Oh Izzy that crazy laugh you wacko I love you “too scared eddy? Too scared to do it yourself? Eh? Go on clean up your own fucking mess I’m not doing it. I’ve been doing it my whole fucking life.” YES IZZY TELL HIMMMMMM

HOW FUCKING DARE U TRY TO MAKE ME THINK IZZYS KILLED HIMSELF HOW DARE YOU NO THATS SO MEAN

“I loved you” I’m sorry but absolutely fuck all the way off Ed. No. Fuck you. I don’t care.

I can’t tell what he said after I loved you ngl

“Take the day off brother. Go live” TURNS RIGHT THE FUCK INTO A STORM WHILE STARING OFF TO THE HORIZON RESTING HIS CHIN ON HIS ARM LMFAO

“Oh stede bonnets giving me relationship advice”

“I’ve got an ex wife, 2 messed up kids probably” lmfaooo

“Sounds like you’re quite the fuck up pal”

“If I start I don’t know what’s gonna come out.” Aww my precious baby boy but I’m sorry I can’t take Nathan foad seriously like look at the goofy little dude being serious it’s weirdddd

“One doesn’t just survive at sea. One has to do things… horrible things” IF SOMEONE FUCKED HURT HIM ISTG

AH WHAT THE FUCK THEY ATE THE DOG AND HE BECAME THE DOG THATS SO MUCH MORE GROSS THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE THATS HORRIBLE

Stede desperately trying to take back telling him to say it lmao

OH MY GOD THE PUPPET THING I HATE THAT I WAS HOPING THEY WERENT GONNA GO DOWN THAG ROUTE JESUS

“IT WASNT EVEN A CHILD IT WAS JUST A VERY SMALL MAN 🤦‍♂️”

EDWARD YOU GOT RID OF THE WHEEL OH MY GOD

“I WANT YOU TO FIGHT HER TO THE DEATH” Edward oh my god

Aww yay lu is chill now

“I think I hurt him pretty bad” “maybe. Maybe the time he spent with you is the best it’s ever gonna get for him”

“AWWW THATS TOO BAD” “YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY” “I WAS HAHGAHA I WAS”

Living for the dramatically being swept in different directions

YES IZZY HANDS

OH MY GOD WAIT HE HAD ACTUALLY DONE IT HED BE DEAD WHAT NO I DONT LIKE THAT

Oh shit the fuckin cannonball

“Finally” nooo I don’t like that

Why did I flinch when they brought it down tho

See you kids next time xX

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode

[unwellwoman]

guys at work are such babies

[ghcstvalleychief]

i just saw your post about vegas being a bad mafia boss and i was like "finally someone who thinks that way as well", ive been seeing posts nonstop about how he would be better than kinn and im like how???? or even talking about how vegas "outsmarts" kinn all the time and maybe im missing something but i cant see it? vegas has been doing The Most against kinn and nothing is working out for him lol? like kinn still runs the main family (under his father ofc), he has survived like 15 murder attempts, got a new boyfriend, discovered who the mole was and only lost one bodyguard in the process? like rip big im sorry we were so mean to you but considering everything that went on thats a pretty good track record?

I think it's a matter of people not wanting to give credit where credit is due. People hate Kinn, so they're not gonna admit that he's far more competent than some people give him credit for. I know everyone has a hard-on for Vegas. Which I get because he's gorgeous but... being pretty doesn't mean you're smart. Being pretty doesn't mean that you're more capable either. Vegas has to rely on plain manipulation to get what he wants because he doesn't have anything else to use otherwise.

Vegas is a hothead, through and through. I don't want to rehash all of this out because you guys know how I feel. But I wish someone would name a single time that Vegas had a plan that legitimately worked. Vegas slides in when Kinn and Porsche are either physically or emotionally distant from each other and he often takes advantage of that distance. Does Kinn make mistakes? Yes. Does he piss me off by being an asshole sometimes? You bet your ass he does. But I would never say he's incompetent when we all know he's not. I don't care if people don't like him. I care that people refuse to admit that he's a far better leader than they want to admit, despite them not being fond of him in the first place.

Is it possible that Kinn may be too soft for that lifestyle? Again, yes. However, what makes someone a good leader is their understanding and acceptance that they could always be doing more. A good leader is harder on themselves than anyone else could be. A good leader sometimes falters and loses faith in their own abilities because they fail to save everyone. Vegas doesn't care about anyone but himself and possibly his brother. How would someone like that be a good leader? A good leader still has to give a fuck about their people. Yes, Vegas may be your little murder meow meow or whatever but he would make a shitty leader. I like Vegas as the villain that he wholeheartedly is (even though some people would claim otherwise) but I'm not gonna pretend like he cares enough to lead an entire group of people when he wouldn't even care if those people lived or died. Big was loyal to Kinn and it lead to his death and Tawan was loyal to Vegas and it lead to his death, and the reactions from those two men were vastly different.

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/19/2022: THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE (1962)

"PLEASE…LET ME DIE!"

I have a slightly fraught relationship with Mystery Science Theater 3000. For the most part, my feelings are highly positive: Especially in the Joel Hodgson era, the show oozes love, finds pleasure in maligned and forgotten movies, and only veers into negativity when the film is really insulting. In some cases (many, possibly even most!), MST3K renders the unwatchable watchable, opening the viewers' eyes to a whole world of production that they might otherwise consider unthinkable. Occasionally, though, I worry about some of the programming choices. I don't think that the beguiling oddity PHASE IV really deserves to be riffed upon; ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE may be ridiculous, but it knows that and enjoys itself accordingly without anyone's help; and when we get into the territory of a gorgeous work of art like DANGER: DIABOLIK!, it's really like…what the hell are you guys thinking?!

Anyway. Just in case you're worried that I'm about to try to hot take-ify the infamous BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, that's not what's going on here. This is a perfectly absurd, surprisingly gory and sleazy movie with about one page worth of original content couched in enough padding to protect it from a nuclear holocaust. It's the perfect movie for MST3K, and it's a good thing that so many people have seen it that way. Still, I think it has a little more to offer than just being mindbogglingly dumb and incompetent. A little.

THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE, which crawled so FRANKENHOOKER could run, concerns the exploits of cold-hearted surgeon Bill Cortner (Jason Evers), who is frustrated by the cowardice of colleagues who won't let him randomly experiment on the patients who enter his operating theater. He gets a golden opportunity to dick around in God's domain when his shitty driving decapitates his fiancée Jan (Virginia Leith); he hauls her noggin off to his country estate, where he is fully prepared to preserve her consciousness until a suitable replacement body can be had. While Bill cruises strip clubs and bikini contests for transplant material, Jan discovers that his reanimation techniques have given her psychic powers, and she forms a deadly bond with a Thing (Eddie Carmel) locked in a nearby closet. The two monstrosities plot their bloody revenge amid an avalanche of exciting monologues from Jan about her horrific existence.

In spite of its astounding cheapness and its shred of a plot, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE has a certain amount of chutzpah that makes it endearing, perhaps even uplifting in some perverse way. You think for sure that when Jan wakes up in the pan, it's going to break her heart, but she immediately downshifts to righteous wrath. Virginia Leith reportedly hated this movie, but you wouldn't know it from the gumption she gives her bombastic tirades about how nothing could be more horrifying, and thus more powerful, than herself. Meanwhile, Bill encounters a string of hardboiled adult entertainers who are so streetwise, and so fiercely protective of themselves, that it's actually kind of affecting to watch this seemingly well-heeled doctor slip around their defenses with his veneer of normality in order to do something awful to them.

Adele Lamont in the much shorter, less gory, less nude cut of the movie. Always check your running times!

Of particular interest is poor Doris (Adele Lamont), implied to be a lesbian with the most beautiful body anyone has ever seen, but with a hideously scarred face courtesy of a man who she once "trusted—all the way!" It's painful to watch Bill maneuver relentlessly to gain Doris' hard-won trust, especially since they used to know one another; back in school, Bill defended the disfigured Doris from male mockery after her "accident", and now he's leveraging his heroic track record to fuck up her life even worse. Bill has a Patrick Bateman-like habit of speaking so frankly as to appear to be kidding, escaping all suspicion. He plies Doris with the promise of an experimental makeover, not-joking, "I'm gonna make your face beautiful again. Cut it off and give your body away." Finding this threat impossible to take seriously, Doris relaxes, and heads off to her potentially tragic fate. In this sequence, the padding and repetition almost work to the film's benefit; Doris tries so hard, over and over, to get rid of Bill, that you really wind up feeling like it's not her fault that he eventually bends her to his will. Especially if you've ever been worn down by an ill-intentioned man like this, you gotta feel for Doris.

"A Jewish giant at home with his parents in the Bronx, N.Y." Diane Arbus, 1970

The other cast member you might feel for is the "mass of flesh" made of "broken limbs and amputated arms" that Bill keeps in the closet, played by sideshow performer Eddie Carmel. The "Jewish Giant", made most famous by Diane Arbus, is caked in makeup to make him look optimally freakish, even though "freak" was once an official job title for the actor. Carmel is an interesting guy who also held titles such as mutual funds salesman, standup comedian, and rock singer in the band Frankenstein and the Brain Surgeons. He's worth looking up, even if his presence in this exploitation movie is limited to the finale.

The last thing I'll say about THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE is that it is occasionally stylish, much to my surprise. In between the endless monologues and meandering-around, there are shots that look like cinematographer Stephen Hajnal actually enjoyed setting them up—and there is occasional evidence of some form of humor, like the Grecian-style bust that foregrounds Bill's entrance to the country lab with Jan's severed head under his arm. Just because I noticed this, today I am going to find out if Jennifer Lynch's art house shocker BOXING HELENA would make a good double-bill with THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE. I actually feel slightly worse about that movie, since Lynch made it when she was very young, laboring under her own immaturity and her father's towering reputation, which is apt to magnify her youthful mistakes. Somehow that feels just as grim to me as what happens to poor Doris.

Forgive my shitty picture of my TV, I have limited means here!

PS Jennifer Lynch's SURVEILLANCE is one of my absolute favorite recent genre films, in case it sounds like I'm dismissing her outright! It has my highest recommendation.

[bisexualmikisayaka]

good video! something i agree with a lot, as evidenced by the years of hating i’ve done on this blog as ive watched the new d+ shows. i think it’s interesting that he only really tackled the live action shows - not a bad thing, seeing as the video was already 30+ minutes, and also makes sense as the LA shows are generally targeted towards an older audience. i just think he could have talked about the failure of Star Wars more because so much of your understanding of the ahsoka show (and then the inevitable critique of it) depends on the audience having watched rebels and also with having at least passing familiarity with the timothy zahn books. ahsoka doesn’t just suck because it’s a poorly written and acted show with no stakes, an incomprehensible storyline, and relies a lot on nostalgia bait; on a character level it is completely incoherent with the media in which we are introduced to these characters (force sensitive non artistic sabine? literally all of the way hera is acting? thrawn being totally incompetent and failing constantly when he’s supposed to be like The Smartest Guy The Empire Has To Offer? finding ezra at the cost of releasing thrawn when the ending of rebels was literally ezra sacrificing himself so that thrawn would be taken out of the picture entirely, therefore refusing to honor and undercutting that act completely?). on a storytelling level, it further represents the difficulty of parsing the Disney+ universes because so much of them rely on you already having seen at least one other supplemental material that quite frankly most people are going to be like “what? that exists?” like it’s just poor storytelling.

drew gooden star wars video let’s get itttttt

[turnaboutsisterzarchive]

if you dont mind me asking about rh id loooove to hear about how the saionji and maizono adjust to their new roles as protags!! (i always thought these two had soo much potential that was never properly touched upon in canon) if you have the time id love to hear about the antags as well!

AHH YESS I COULD TALK ABT THE PROTAGS AND ANTAGS SPECIFICALLY 4 AGES

i feel like saionji and maizono have very different approaches to being thrust into the spotlight despite how similar their circumstances are.. maizono is sort of in love with the idea of herself as a hero. her life before hpa was so lonely and uneventful but then she finally gets something to live for -- shes got all these classmates with the same goal and theyre all so extraordinary and she wants so badly to be the same as them. i think her "main character" outlook on her circumstances are shattered after the first killing+execution as the reality of the situation starts to settle in. she also gloms on to enoshima super quick after the first chapter because shes loves the idea of her [enoshima thinks theyre the same person deep down but allows herself to thrive off of maizono's adoration of idol life]

saionji is a much more pessimisstic protagonist than maizono. she knows on some level that she'll never be the same as her ""classmates"" because she's younger and less independent than the rest of them and the only thing worse than them ignoring her entirely is them acknowledging her incompetence. she's very passionate about hpa because she perceives graduating from hpa as her ticket away from the saionji clan and cuz of that shes superr pissed when the field trip happens and is immediately hijacked by monobear.

ive talked abt mukuro here so im gonna take this oppurtunity 2 blab abt tsumiki and imposter because i think abt them daily. the only reason why theyre even antags in the first place is because saionji doesnt like them LOL theyre not that bad at first. tsumiki sort of has a "normal guy turned antag" moment a la canon komaeda [albeit much more tame] because her priorities shift from trying to find a way off the island with everyone else to trying to earn back their school memories after the events of chapter one. saionji hates her for that because she wants nothing more than to get off Hell island so she can go to school and she hates imposter because they associate with tsumiki. imposter allies himself with tsumiki both so they can find out if they used to b someone pre-dr2 also because he feels bad for her. behind every boyboss is her shivering pathetic mechanic friend who can build a bazooka

also to elaborate on the "not that bad at first" comment imposter and tsumiki go from just goofing around jabberwock trying to be helpful to desecrating corpses over the span of a little over a chapter i just think thats important to note. heart emoji

[ot3]

Same anon as a second ago who was asking about Han suyeong and orv - or if you have any headcanons about yoohankim I think they’re neat

yesss lets talk about yoohankim

all i want for them after the epilogues is to write a book together. like kdj is already long overdue for beta-reading and yjh has been tricked into being an editor once and can be tricked into doing it again. any chance to correct these miserable shrews he lives with <333333 

but the thing is like hsy like completely wrung herself out writing ORV and now she wants to do something the complete fucking opposite she’s like guys. i’m sick the death of fucking themes and catharsis and shit. we’re writing slice of life. give me ideas what’s some stuff that people do

and yjh was like i dont fucking know what anyone does in their spare time.

and kdj is like. i also don’t know anything that people do. hope this helps.

and hsy is like god damn it. me neither. oh my god we are so bad at this. 

this is all definitely pre relationship because theyre stupid enough to rewrite time and space for each other but still try and friendzone about it. “yeah they threw themselves headfirst into the spokes of fate’s wheels and doomed countless lives in countless worlds just so all of us could meet, again and again, but, like. what if i’m reading too much into things?”

absolute incompetence. 

anyway hsy just starts working tossing in whatever sort of contrived high school hijinks she can think of and bouncing off yjh and kdj as sounding boards, reading them snippets of her drafts, and eventually they just end up just essentially co-authoring it with how much of the plot and character theyre giving her, theyre doing everything she’s doing except typing the damn thing up.

only at this point it’s really just a weird tangential larp of them all deciding what they imagine a fun childhood would have theoretically been like and not so subtly just making these characters live it out on their behalf. yjh still feels pretty weird about writing stuff that didn’t already happen for obvious reasons but hsy is like ‘stop being fucking paranoid this is so different this is made up for real’ and kdj is like ‘im abstaining from this conversation’ and yjh is like well i guess im probably safe from any cosmic comeuppance as long as this is a happy story. so it really is just like peak good feeling slice of life antics the whole way through

anyway obviously the main characters are Very Poorly Concealed Yoohankim Expys. i say poorly concealed but that’s onyl to people who arent them. yhk themselves are VERY convinced these are extremely original and compelling characters. 

it doesn’t hit until after they write some shit where hsy has to be like ‘look this is so stupid there’s no reason these people wouldn’t have gotten together yet in this situation how can we work with such a flimsy premise of miscommunicated feelings. surely they have to know theyre in love.’

and then she’s like [brain loading symbol] oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

and theyre like What stop being dramatic and just fucking tell us.

and shes like ‘ive figured it out im the sexiest and smartest woman alive. you guys are gonna love this’ 

and theyre like just fucking tell us we hate you so bad you act like this every time

and she’s like we need to kiss. ohhh i am so smart. 

and theyre like [dial up modem noises] oh god wait we are supid and embarrassing motherfuckers huh. wow. 

and then they kiss