#this got way longer than i meant for it to oof

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 29] || [Chapter 31]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: injuries + recovery Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: johnny is a filthy man :) but also we love him so is that a problem? no, it's not.

Chapter 30: Playing House

It took a while, but, Simon got healthy, and John and Kyle got their soreness’ settled enough to be able to go back to work.

Johnny, however, needed a little extra TLC. Being shot in the shoulder involved a longer period of medical leave, paired with a long while of physical therapy…

And that means that he decided to make himself your problem.

The rest of the lads left on a mission a few days after being cleared and, as such, left Johnny with you. Not because the lad is incapable of looking after himself, but more so because he, himself, decided he didn’t want to be away from you.

And so, whenever you leave for work, Johnny leaves for PT, then, goes to base for a bit, mostly doing work on things that he can feasibly do without straining his left shoulder/arm… Like doing paperwork and reports, going to the gym for cardio, crunches, and leg and hip workouts… Then he comes home to you.

He goes shopping for you, cooks you dinner, cleans after the two of you, despite your insistence that he rest… But, as it turns out, Johnny isn’t good at that.

Nonetheless, the flat is cleaner than ever before, Johnny’s drawing supplies are permanently stationed on the dining room table, next to your laptop, and some of his clothes have taken a permanent spot in your closet.

And, of course, he spends every night in your bed, spooning you from behind and hiding his face in your neck while you watch tiktoks, talk, or he regale you with the most ridiculous of puns.

In a way, it’s like Johnny MacTavish is your live-in boyfriend. Or, rather, that you’re playing house with him.

You wouldn’t say you hate it. In fact, it’s quite nice to have someone staying with you all night… Johnny is a good partner, he’s helpful and chill and provides wonderful cuddles…

Though you’ve jokingly started calling him ‘Johnny Price’, because, since he hasn’t been working for a month now, he’s let his beard grow out. And he looks like Price more often than he does not.

It’s on week three of your new routine with Johnny when you’re at work, that you get a text from him:

Johnny: guess what bonnie. Johnny: [1 Video Attachment]

You definitely should’ve put on some headphones before you watched that video during work… His grunting and groaning was almost pornographic and definitely earned you a few confused/worried looks from your coworkers…

But all you could think of was how he was finally easing back into his arm/shoulder workouts, which meant he finally got cleared by his PT to do as such!

you: did you finally get cleared johnny? 🥺 Johnny: cleared at 50%. Johnny: not there yet. but soon. you: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! 🫶🫶🫶 Johnny: thank ye bonnie  you: this calls for a celebration! Johnny: i like how ye think bonnie but im not cleared yet to be able to manhandle ye 😏 you: get ur mind out of the gutter johnny price!!!!!!!! Johnny: oof not ye still calling me that! you: ur beard is looking like his what do u expect of me! 🙄 Johnny: yer right idk what i expected. Johnny: so about this celebration. you: i was thinking we go out for dinner? Johnny: are we going to dress up nice? you: i wasn’t thinking we’d go somewhere super fancy because i do not have money johnnyyyy Johnny: oh good because i dont think i can button up a shirt my shoulder is sore 😖 you: okay then! nando’s!!! 🫶  you: and i’ll give you a shoulder rub when we get home Johnny: speaking my language bonnie.

And so that’s what you did. You went home in a hurry to shower and change, and, for once, Johnny wasn’t there, having chosen to shower and change at base.

You met up in front of the Nando’s closest to your flat and you immediately chuckled at the sight of him. Sure, he had changed, but he was still very much wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey zip-up hoodie… Although you could very obviously tell he was naked beneath the hoodie.

“Mo leannan.” He murmured in an exaggeratedly polite tone as he popped the door open for you with his good arm.

“Thank you, my good sir…” You joked, which caused you both to chuckle and shake your head.

You got inside, ordered your food and, as you talked, you site adjacent to him, right on his left side, so you could gently rub his arm with your hand.

“Do you miss the lads?” You ended up asking him as you caressed his bicep and shoulder with your hand, watching him wince a bit at it, because he felt so sore from his first workout.

“A little.” Johnny admitted as he looked toward you. “Do you miss ‘em?” He returned the question. You found yourself nodding in reply.

“Having you here is wonderful though… I… quite miss you lot when you’re all gone together. Not to mention I worry sick for you.” You admitted and pressed your lips together a bit awkwardly.

“You do?” He asked you, to which you nodded. So, he continued. “Well.. I guess I understand. I imagine my mam and sisters worry about me too… As do the Kyle and the Captain’s families.” He conceded.

“That’s actually…” You found yourself trailing off as the waiter brought you your orders and you thanked him, unboxing your food so you could dig in.

“As I was saying…” You trailed off. “That’s actually an interesting point… I feel like I know very little about you and the guys’ when it comes to your personal lives… Outside of hobbies and what you do with me.” You mused as you glanced at him as he dug into his double chicken burger one-handed.

“I don’t know much about the others myself to be honest with you.” Johnny admitted as he stole one of your chips off your plate.

“Really?” You asked softly as you ate your own sandwich yourself, nodding along as he continued speaking.

“We try to keep our… ‘outside’ lives under wraps. Even being a team… what we talk about is always very superficial.” He trailed off.

“So you don’t know anything about the rest of them, nor them about you?” You cocked a brow in confusion.

“Oh, no, bonnie, I talk about myself a whole lot, I’m a blabber mouth, me.” He joked and winked at you. “But family is one of those topics that’s best kept under wraps in our line of work.” He told you as he leaned in, rubbing his thumb on the corner of your mouth to wipe it clean of peri-peri sauce. Then, he sucked his own thumb clean.

“What about me? Do I get to know about you?” You asked him playfully as you leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table as you lean in to him, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Tell ye what, bonnie.” Johnny leaned toward you too, licking his fingers clean and then wiping them on a napkin before he set a hand on your thigh under the table. “Anything I tell ye about my family is not going to do them justice… So how about I take ye up to meet my family over the summer… And ye meet them directly? Could even take the Captain, Simon and Kyle with us.” He offered.

Your eyes widened a bit and you blinked away the surprise, staring at him like he had grown a second head.

“Meeting your family? Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that…?” You chuckled a bit sheepishly.

“Aye, maybe it is…” He trailed off. “But at this point, I’m basically livin’ wit ye and ye’ve looked after me in sickness, haven’t ye?” He joked. “And I’ve fended off yer ex… so I’ve looked after ye in health, haven’t I?”

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you shook your head. You knew he was just joking, the look in his eyes showed it… “Are you implying that we’re married, Johnny?” You teased him playfully.

“I’m just saying…” He trailed off playfully, a playful smirk on his lips. “And, if we were married, not saying that we are,… I’d make sure to take ye home tonight and rearrange yer guts if ye let me, mo leannan.”

Looking away and biting your lip, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut it…” You trailed off. “You need to rest, your shoulder’s bad still.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use my mouth on ye… and that you can’t be on top.” He added before he grabbed another one of your chips and popped it in his mouth.

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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

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@neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine ,

@kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 ,

@gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 ,

@kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust ,

@thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 12

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

Oof, so this took me forever to write. A week and a half. But now it's finally here, the final post of this meta series. And yes, I did hit 20k words by the finale, oops. The analysis part alone is at 20.1k words. In total, this meta series is at 150k words. When I wrote that very first post about episodes 1+2 in on single sitting, pulling an all-nighter to both write, gif, and publish it I never expected it to turn into this huge project that has become. Don't ask how much sleep I was getting while I was writing these metas. And don't ask how my studies have been going since early December (I was gonna write two exams a week from me publishing this but I haven't done any studying so far whatsoever rip). Totally worth it, though. Anyway, I don't wanna keep you on your toes any longer, so have fun <3

By the way, I apologize in advance, but the section cover pics had to go for this one. Instead I bring you.... more gifs! Yay!

Acknowledgments: To everyone who regularly liked and/or reblogged and/or commented... THANK YOU 😘 Your encouragement really kept me going over these past few weeks, even when my brain was feeling really exhausted from thinking so long and so hard about this series and especially this character. I had a blast going on this journey and I'm glad I got to share it with you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I love you.

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise. And I WILL be specifying otherwise this time hehe.

To recap: Last episode Style got to spend a lovely 24 hours of saying goodbye to Fadel before the one thing that Style has been dreading the most (safe for Fadel's death, probably) happened: Fadel got arrested. And there's nothing Style could do about it but watch. And now he has to live with the fact that his boyfriend will be in prison for the next five long years.

No. 1: Visitors

Kant and Style go visit their boys in prison together and it seems to be their first visit in general, considering how both couples are catching up. We don't know how long it's been since they last saw each other, but I assume it must have been more than just a couple of days, since we later learn that the burger restaurant has already been sold.

Either way, Style is now sitting in front of Fadel, asking him how prison is. Fadel says it's not that bad and Style checks in once more to make sure Fadel is really fine: "Really? You sure you're not saying that just to make me happy? I've seen some interviews, and the people who have been here said it was awful."

After all, Style knows Fadel and he knows Fadel is prone to pretending that everything is fine when really, it isn't. Style even called Fadel out on it in episode 7: "Just admit when it hurts. You don't have to be tough all the time." Back then Style also told Fadel: "I'm worried about you, you know? I was afraid something would happen to you.*"

*กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ [gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh] afraid - you - have a problem - [particle] Official subs: I thought you were a goner.

Now, about half a series later Fadel is finally very well aware of just how much Style worries about his well-being and, with a laugh, reassures him once more that prison really isn't that bad. Style lets it go and tells Fadel: "I really miss you, though." And let me just share what I learned when I asked my Thai friend about the phrase ก็...อยู่ดี [gôh ... yùu dii], because I wasn't entirely sure what it meant: according to my friend it means "still" (German speakers: he translated it as "immer noch"), so the line goes more like:

But I still miss you. แต่กูก็คิดถึงมึงอยู่ดีนะ [dtàe - guu - gôh - kít-tĕung - mueng - yùu dii - ná] but - I - miss - you - still - [na]

They've been separated for a while now, but Style still misses Fadel. Style hasn't stopped missing Fadel. Fadel acknowledges that and tells him "When you do, just come visit." And for those curious about the literal wording (it doesn't really change anything, but I know you guys love this <3):

If you miss me, then come visit me like this. ถ้ามึงคิดถึงกูอ่ะ ก็มาหากูแบบนี้นะ [tâa - mueng - kít-tĕung - guu - àh • gôh - maa hăa - guu - bàep níi - ná] if - you - miss - me - [particle] • then - come visit - me - like this - [particle]

Style doesn't say anything. He just smiles at Fadel fondly and in love. Fadel didn't preemptively break up with him last episode and even though there is a barrier between them, Style can still go see Fadel and Fadel also wants Style to come see him. It's not ideal, but things could have been much worse, so Style is happy and also makes the best out of the situation. Just like he always does.

Fadel then asks about the garage and it's the first time we learn that Style's dad is starting to retire and that Style is starting to be busy. This will come up later in the episode again, but for now everyone is still happy. Then Fadel asks about his burger restaurant and both we, the audience, and Fadel learn that it's been sold. Fadel then says he'll find a way to buy it back once he's out of prison and once again we're handed information that will be relevant later in the episode.

Style being Style immediately announces that he'll be helping Fadel find a new place, if he can't get back the old one. And now it's Fadel's turn to smile at Style fondly and in love. Style then asks if Fadel wants anything special. But Fadel doesn't need anything. "Just seeing your face will last me a whole month." And again, the literal wording doesn't really change anything here, but if you're curious, this is what he's saying:

Just you visiting me like this makes me happy for a month. แค่มึงมาหากูแบบเนี่ย กูก็อิ่มใจเป็นเดือนละ [kâe - mueng - maa hăa - guu - bàep nîia • guu - gôh - ìm-jai - bpen deuuan - lá] just - you - come visit - me - like this • I - [sentence link] - happy, pleased - for a month - [particle]

Fadel uses the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] here (which I translated as "happy") and that's funny to me personally, because this word already came up when I was discussing a different sentence from episode 11 with my Thai friend. You know when Fadel and Style are in the kitchen in episode 11 and Fadel talks about how he wants to do what he loves with the person he loves? And then he says "It makes me happy". The word that was translated as "happy" in Thai is อิ่ม [ìm], which actually translates to "full". And I had my friend watch the scene and asked "What does he mean 'full', what does that mean in this context??" and my friend explained that in this context it means "happy" and mentioned the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai], which he also explained to mean "happy". The literal translation, though, is actually "full heart" (as in the heart is full → you're happy). And then this exact word that I learned comes up in episode 12, I love it. So yeah, Fadel is basically telling Style that he doesn't need anything, because Style visiting him in prison is enough to make is heart full/fill up his heart for a month. And from the way Fadel raises his eyebrows and smiles cheekily when he says the อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] part, I assume it's just as cheesy in Thai as it is in English, especially judging by Style's reaction afterwards.

Style is amused, impressed, as well as touched by Fadel's cheesiness and asks: "What did they feed you in there? How come you're this sweet?*"

*ทำไมถึงหวานขนาดเนี้ย [tam-mai tĕung - wăan - kà-nàat níia] how come, why - sweet - to this extent Official subs: You're way too sweet.

If you read last episode's meta you might remember how I went over the development to from โหด [hòht] (= harsh, aggressive, brutal) to หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) and I just love how this time around, the word โหด [hòht] doesn't even get mentioned anymore. They went from Style using only the word โหด [hòht] in episode 4 ("No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you." / Official subs: "It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked."), to them making comments about and discussing Fadel being both harsh (โหด [hòht]) and sweet (หวาน [wăan]) in episodes 7, 9, and 11, and now in the finale Style only uses the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet). It's the polar opposite of episode 4. I love it.

(By the way, I'm not gonna copy and paste all the direct quotes again, so if you wanna look at the lines and the development of "harsh vs sweet" in detail, please refer to section 7 of my ep11 meta.)

Style continues to say "If you say such sweet things, it'll only make me want to hold you and kiss you even more, you know?" and I'm just gonna share the literal wording again:

The sweeter like this you are ยิ่งมึงหวานแบบเนี่ย [yîng - mueng - wăan - bàep nîia] the more - you - sweet - like this the more I really want to embrace you and (sniff) kiss you on the cheek, you know that? กูยิ่งอยากกอดอยากหอมมึงมากเลยรู้ป่ะ [guu - yîng - yàak - gòht - yàak - hŏhm - mueng - mâak loiie - rúu - bpà] I - the more - want - hug, embrace - want - (sniff) kiss - you - very much - know - ?

In the official subtitles Style says just "kiss you", but the word he uses here in Thai is หอม [hŏhm] which, from what I've picked up so far, usually refers specifically to a kiss on the cheek, especially those sniff-kisses. And that's what prompts Fadel to turn his head and offer his cheek to Style — because Style specifically asked to kiss Fadel's cheek.

Also, something about the way Style says this and the way he emphasizes and drags out the word หอม [hŏhm] kind of really reminds me of the way he emphasized and dragged out the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) when he shouted "My meat is sweet, I tell you!" in episode 3, and watching these two lines back-to-back actually shows the development so beautifully:

In episode 3, Style is so very loud and he doesn't mean what he is saying at all, he isn't taking his words seriously whatsoever. His words are a performance and the world (or rather the market, in this case) is his audience. In episode 11, his words are still a performance, but now it's a private show for Fadel and Fadel alone. Fadel is the sole member of his audience and what Style is saying isn't meant for anyone else but Fadel. Style is serious about it now and he really means it. By the episode 12, Style is still loud in his personality, but compared to episode 3 his demeanor is so much calmer and he is also much more grounded.

The difference is also in Fadel's reaction: in episode 3 when Style isn't taking what he's saying and doing seriously whatsoever, Fadel doesn't have time for him. He rolls his eyes and just leaves him standing there. In episode 12, when Style means every single thing he says and does, Fadel actually leans closer and then presents his cheek to Style, going along with Style's antics instead of blocking or ditching him. Style blows a cheek at Fadel and we leave them as they continue to make heart-eyes at each other.

No. 2: This Is Torture

Style puts on his cheerful face when he's in front of Fadel, and while I don't think any of the above was a mask, because I think he is definitely genuinely happy to talk to Fadel, there is still some frustration that Style only lets out as soon as he's away from Fadel, similar to how he didn't fully cry until Fadel was completely gone at the end of last episode. "Kant, I can't do this," Style complains and let me just share the real vibe of his sentence:

Ai'Kant, I can't fucking do this anymore. ไอ้กานต์ กูแม่งไม่ไหวแล้วว่ะ [âi Kant • guu - mâeng - mâi - wăi - láew - wâ] Ai'Kant • I - [rude interjection] - not - able to, can - anymore - [rude particle]

I usually don't bother to point out sanitized subtitles, but here I thought it was appropriate, because first of all, Style using curse words and rude language really underlines just how frustrated he really is about this from his first line of the scene on and second of all, to me with the cursing it comes across as even more dramatic and I mean, the drama is what we've all come to love about Style, isn't it? Kant agrees and once again Style is much more dramatic in the original wording than he is in the official translation:

What's torturous is going in and being able to chat only for a few minutes. ที่มันทรมานอ่ะ คือเข้าไปคุยได้ไม่กี่นาทีไง [tîi - man - tor-rá-maan - àh • keu - kâo bpai - kui - dâai - mâi gìi -naa-tii - ngai] that - it - torture, be tortured - [particle] • is - enter, get in - talk, chat - be able to, can - not many - minute(s) - [particle] Official subs: The worst part is only getting a few minutes to talk to him.

Yeah. Style explicitly calls it torture that he can only see Fadel's face but can't touch him. He continues with the drama:

We're close, but so damn far away. ใกล้แต่ไกลฉิบหายเลยมึง [glâi - dtàe - glai - chìp-hăai - loiie - mueng] close - but - far - [impolite intensifier] - [particle for emphasis] - you Official subs: We’re so close but it feels so far.

Style is frustrated, almost downright angry even. Kant agrees again and when Style then asks "Is there no way we could hold them in our arms again?" There's a hint of desperation and impatience now mixed in with the frustration. Kant informs Style that there's a special visiting day, but it's only once a year. And here we have the biggest clue as to just how unhappy Style really is with the situation. Style, who usually stays optimistic and tries to find the bright side in things, is very dissatisfied about those news. Even positive Style can't see how the special visiting day is a good thing. Because once a year just really isn't enough, no matter how he looks at it. Kant throws him a glance. Style is sitting in the passenger's seat, head downcast, looking very dispirited and crestfallen.

Kant thinks some thoughts for a moment. Then he announces "I think I have an idea that will give us more than just a hug." Style lifts his head again. He's listening.

No. 3: Prison Break

For Kant's idea to work they need Captain Christ's help and they go meet him in a parking lot. They let Captain Christ know they wanna get into jail to see their boyfriends and Captain Christ actually asks the reasonable question of "Can't you just visit them?" No. They cannot. Because looking at them through a barrier is simply just not enough. Style starts listing all the things he wants to do to Fadel and he's clearly thought about this a lot. He gets lost in his own world a little the longer he goes on, clearly seeing everything he's describing in front of his mental eye, clearly seeing Fadel himself in front of his mental eye. And in a parallel to both episode 4 and episode 11, Style trails off at the end, leaving it up to the audience to imagine just what exact kind of things Style wants to do to/with Fadel (fanfiction, anyone?). Style pulls himself out of his fantasy and back into the real world, sighing and shaking his head in a way that reads to me like frustration about the fact that he can't be doing all of that. Kind of like Come on, man, get it together... The circumstances won't let you have your fantasies anyway. When the shot changes to Captain Christ, we can see that Style is even looking towards the ground. We can't see his face, but just from his dissatisfied expression just now we could interpret his hanging head as disappointment or sadness or both about not being able to do all the things he just talked about.

Captain Christ says that Style is crazy in love and from the way that Captain raises his eyebrows and the way the corners of his mouth twitch into a bit of a smirk when he's done speaking has me think Captain Christ was saying it to tease Style, but I think the teasing passes right by Style, because he makes a skeptical face, kind of like a bit of an annoyed and maybe slightly defensive What?? or maybe even a bit of an And what's wrong with that?

Captain Christ discards his cigarette and starts asking questions about just how exactly Kant and Style plan to get into prison, pointing out that he had just helped Kant wipe his slate clean. Kant explains that they aren't planning on getting themselves arrested and asks if Captain Christ knows anyone inside. Captain Christ says he does, then asks: "Don't tell me you want me to help you reenact Prison Break?"

Special shout-out to Style's reaction, because it's definitely in my top 5 moments of the episode, if not my absolute favorite highlight of the episode:

His face makes me laugh and giggle so much, it just really cracks me up. It's like he's thinking to himself Oh I sure wouldn't mind a little prison break... or maybe even Oh this is totally not the exact thing I've been fantasizing about. Let's be real, this would be Style's ideal scenario. But unlucky for Style, that's not the plan that Kant has had in mind.

No. 4: Vocational Training

Kant's idea was to go do some kind of volunteer work (or something along those lines) at the prison. Style, of course, teaches fixing cars, and it's interesting that Fadel actually shows up for that, because without knowing Style was gonna be the one teaching, Fadel could have easily chosen a different activity instead, since we never actually saw him be interested in fixing cars. Maybe Fadel heard about it and it made him think of Style and decided to go check it out in honor of him or to feel closer to him. Either way, Fadel actually shows up to Style's class and from the way Style's jaw drops a little bit I wonder, if this comes as a surprise to Style, since it's not like Style specifically told Fadel he was gonna come in.

Pronoun change! You might have noticed yourself, but the very first thing Style says to Fadel is khun. Style is pretending not to know Fadel. Style continues to speak using no pronouns at all and when Fadel answers, he goes along with Style's pronoun change, using phom to refer to himself. The two of them continue to use the polite phom/khun for the rest of this specific conversation.

Fadel says he doesn't know anything about fixing cars and Style replies it's fine, because Fadel can learn about it. Then he says "If you want to, that is." The expression that Style uses here in Thai is มีใจ [mii jai] which is made up of มี [mii] = "to have" and ใจ [jai] = "heart, mind", so literally it translates to "have (a/the) heart". My friend explained that in this context this phrase means "to have the intention to do something". The funny thing is, though, that I asked my friend about this specific phrase a couple of episodes ago, because Style actually uses it when they're standing by the broken down car in episode 8 when he teases Fadel "Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you’re in love with me." In other words, the phrase มีใจ [mii jai] can also mean "to be in love" and now I'm wondering if this specific word choice with this double meaning was very intentional for this episode 12 scene. Especially because Fadel then huffs and smiles a little.

Style walks up to Fadel and tells him "I'll show you every nook and cranny of a car. You'll definitely find some use for what you learn from me. But if you still can't fix cars after that, I'll fix them for you," still using polite pronouns and particles to address Fadel, and somehow this whole thing just really reminds me of their little roleplay at the garage back in episode 5. The way Fadel's eyebrows shoot up and he huffs in amusement really raises the question if Fadel is wondering what kind of payment Style will take for fixing Fadel's car. At the same time, Style offering to fix Fadel's car also works as a callback to the circumstances in which they first met: Style has fixed Fadel's car once before, maybe even twice, if we assume that Style fixed the jeep again between episode 8 and episode 9 when it broke down.

No. 5: A Man Has Wants, A Man Has Needs

At the end of class, Fadel is working on the car and Style uses the chance with everyone else distracted for a little private chat with Fadel. And now that they don't have an audience listening in and appearances to keep up, they're both back to the rude pronouns guu/mueng. Fadel likely sort of already expected that Style would find a way to get to him, because he says he had thought Style would do something illegal to get inside the prison and I think the majority of the fandom thought similarly. I personally realized Kant and Style would be working in prison when I went to rewatch the episode promo like two or so days before the episode and realized that the blue clothes that Fadel was wearing in the shots where Style kissed him on the cheek and threw him against the wall looked like the prison uniform while Style was in normal clothes. At first I thought the shot of the cheek kiss by the car was when Fadel was out of prison again and that it was set in Style's garage, but once it hit me that they were clearly fixing a car while Fadel was in a prison uniform while Style wasn't, that's when I realized that Style was likely there as a volunteer worker (or something along those lines) rather than a prisoner. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to get my ep11 meta done, so I didn't make a post about my discovery which means I don't have receipts and this brag is completely worthless. Ah, well. At least my ep11 meta is done.

Style says "This is way better" and steps closer to Fadel, reaching out his arm right into Fadel's personal space, seeking proximity before he even says it out loud or touches Fadel at all. Fadel responds to it by immediately moving his own arm closer to Style's hand and while I know that Joong most likely did this as part of their "choreography" so that Dunk would have an easier time grabbing his arm for when Style talks about touching Fadel, the thing is if we're looking at it from the character's perspective, well, Joong might have known Dunk was gonna grab his arm, but Fadel didn't know Style was gonna grab him and so I love this small interaction anyway. Style reaches into Fadel's personal space with his hand and Fadel immediately moves his own hand closer to Style.

And it's only then that Style says: "I get to be close to you and to touch you just like I wanted to." Then Style sneaks a kiss on Fadel's cheek, just like he said he wanted to do in his first scene of the episode. Fadel gets as stressed about it just like I did when I watched the episode for the first time. I mean come on, Style, there are still people around!! I swear to god, the amount of times I've had to remind myself during the prison part that this was a romcom and that this was the final episode of the show and that nothing too bad was gonna happen now...

Fadel scolds Style, but Style doesn't care. He points out: "Why would I come here if I don't get to do anything with you at all?" The whole point of finding a way to get inside the prison was to be able to touch Fadel, to kiss him, to hold him, just like Style was so very desperately wishing he could do in the very beginning of the episode. And he's not gonna pass up that chance, especially when it's been a while since he actually got to feel Fadel's skin.

Fadel sees the guard walk around and tells Style "I can't help you." Then Fadel continues to be grumpy, scolding Style "You said you'd be patient, and you're already losing it?" Style is so used to Fadel's grumpy personality by now that he isn't fazed in the slightest. He comments it with a very quick huff to the side, then goes "A guy has wants and needs, you know?" He smiles a little when the words are out of his mouth and observes Fadel's reaction, eyes fixed on him attentively. Fadel lifts his head, looking a little done, but ends up breaking anyway after staring at Style for a moment. Fadel laughs and turns his head away to hide it, then looks at Style one more time, before directing his attention back to the car. Style watches him with a fond smile and affectionately shakes his head as if to say That's so you of you to first be grumpy, only to fall for my charm in the end anyway, you silly goose. As if I don't know you by now, my love.

After that, Style goes back into teacher mode in order to officially end the class. And I just love how the wide-shot reveals that now both Style and Fadel have their hands in each other's personal space close to the other person's body, their arms criss-crossed. And I also love how Style leans right into Fadel, touching him more when he goes to address the whole class.

Good job at pretending not to know each other, boys. Really. Very inconspicuous.

Fadel does move away from Style a little a moment later while Style continues his "see you next week" speech. But we can still see just how much Style missed touching Fadel, because he seeks out proximity again by tapping Fadel, casually touching him again immediately after he is done ending the class.

Then his eyes also find Fadel's face again, who looks at him very amused. And now that class is over, Style can finally do what he's really here for.

No. 6: Loyal to You

When we cut back to them, they've found a hidden corner and Style is shoving Fadel against a wall, kissing him with great urgency. Once they break apart, Style tells Fadel "I've been dying to do that since the moment I saw you", smiling a very satisfied smile. Fun fact, this time around Style is actually less dramatic in the original wording:

I've been wanting to do this since I saw your face. กูอยากทำแบบนี้ตั้งแต่เห็นหน้ามึงอ่ะ [guu - yàak - tam - bàep níi - dtâng-dtàe - hĕn - nâa mueng - àh] I - want - do - like this - since - see - your face - [particle]

Fadel laughs and says "You're crazy", to which Style replies "Love will make people do crazy things" and let me just share the original wording for a second:

Love makes us do something crazy like this. ความรักอ่ะ ทำให้คนเราทำอะไรบ้าๆ แบบนี้แหละ [kwaam rák - àh • tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - bâa bâa - bàep níi - làe] love - [particle] • make that, cause - people, we - do - something - crazy - like this - [particle] Official subs: Love will make people do crazy things.

The reason why I'm sharing this isn't, because the translation is inaccurate in any way, but rather because this line reminded me of another line Style says in episode 7 and I just want to point out the similarity in the original wording that isn't as clean in the official translation:

Love makes us do something stupid. ความรักมันทำให้คนเราทำอะไรโง่ๆนะ [kwaam rák - man - tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - ngôh ngôh - ná] love - it - make that, cause - people, we - do - something - stupid - [particle] Official subs: Love sure makes you do something stupid.

It greatly amuses me that Style went from "Love makes us do stupid things" to "Love makes us do crazy things". Style, lover of love, willing to do stupid and crazy things for the sake of love. He is stupid and crazy enough to even find a way to get into prison for the sole purpose of making out with his boyfriend, because who can wait five whole years, amirite? Style immediately proves his point by continuing to kiss Fadel. But Fadel doesn't let Style kiss him for long, because he has something to say: "Save your sweet words." Funfact, he uses the word นำเน่า [nam nâo] here, which my friend explained to mean "soapy" (as in soap opera like). I think Fadel just called Style "dramatic" without actually calling him dramatic, and I think that might also be the reason why Style steps back with a sigh, looking kind of disappointed and annoyed, before answering Fadel's question of "How did you get in here?"

We know being called dramatic has been a touchy subject for Style before and so has been being pushed away. I think Style had a moment of Does he really not appreciate that I'm here now? Does he not appreciate my efforts? But Style doesn't comment on it, doesn't start an argument, and instead answers Fadel's question. He explains that he'll be teaching at prison every week now thanks to Kant's connections and then says:

I'll get to come and see you every week. จะได้มาเจอมึงทุกอาทิตย์เลย [jà - dâai - maa - jer - mueng - túk - ah-tít - loiie] will - get to - come - see, meet - you - every - week - [particle] Official subs: So I'll see you every week.

Although when Style says this, it's not as joyful as you might expect. There is determination in Style's voice, because he is determined to do this, but there is also a bit of a challenging edge to it and I think it comes from his sudden worry that Fadel might not want him here after all. It's a challenge in the sense of Well, are you happy about me being here once a week from now on or not? He keeps his eyes fixed on Fadel and when Fadel then huffs and smiles almost in disbelief, the look on Style's face softens a little bit before he leans in to kiss Fadel again.

But once more, Fadel isn't letting Style kiss him for long, before he speaks again: "You know… You don’t have to do this." Style goes still as he waits for Fadel to elaborate. And Fadel does:

It's fine if you visit me once a month or once every three months. มาหากูเดือนละครั้งหรือสามเดือนครั้งก็ได้ [maa hăa - guu - deuuan lá kráng - rĕu - săam deuuan kráng - gôh dâai] (come) visit - me - once a month - or - once every three months - it's fine Official subs: I don't mind seeing you once a month or once every three months.

Ah. There it is. Fadel is pushing him away again. Or so Style thinks. Of course Fadel is saying this to be considerate of Style's time and schedule (after all, Style did tell him that things at the garage were getting busy), not wanting Style to get tired and exhausted in the process, but what Style hears is I don't want to see you that often. And now Style is seriously done.

He steps back, tilting his face in a Really, now?? way, presses his lips together unhappily, then raises his eyebrows and firmly tells Fadel: "I did everything I could to be with you, you know?" Style's next question is another challenge to Fadel:

Are you not moved? ไม่ซึ้งบ้างหรอ [mâi - séung - bâang - rŏr] not - touched, moved - any - ? Official subs: You don’t appreciate that?

Fadel breathes out loudly and tilts his head like Oh, come on, it's not like that. But Style is really annoyed now and continues to say: "Or did you already find someone here? I'd expect it of a popular guy like you." You heard him use the anglicism "hot" here, right? Because the second sentence goes more like:

You're hot anyway. ฮอตอยู่��ล้วนี่มึงอ่ะ [hot - yùu - láew - nîi - mueng - àh] hot - be - already - [interjection] - you - [particle]

A little extra info from my Thai friend: according to him in Thai this word doesn't necessarily refer to someone's appearance and to physical attraction, but rather it is used to express someone has a quality or skill that is desirable.

Now I think Style actually being jealous for real can be a valid interpretation of him asking Fadel if he found someone new in prison, but to be honest, personally I don't really think so, or rather I think real jealousy is the case only on a surface level. Because Style knows Fadel, Style knows that Fadel doesn't easily open up to others. Style knows first hand how much work, effort, and persistence it takes to get to Fadel's heart. Style also knows Fadel would absolutely kill him if Style ever cheated on him and so I don't think Style would expect Fadel to be a hypocrite and go cheat on Style just like that himself. So I don't think Style actually expects Fadel to have found himself a new boyfriend in prison for real. No, in my opinion this is about something else deep down. I think Style is actually hurt that Fadel is (seemingly) pushing him away again, the way Fadel has done before so often. And Style has felt hurt from that before, and he's argued with Fadel about that before (most recently last episode during their last supper, and in episode 10 the scene where Style demands to help with the mission as well as the scene where Fadel cries in Style's lap). And I think playing it over apparent jealousy is Style's way of letting Fadel know that he's sulking about this, without starting a full-blown argument. Because at this point Fadel should know better than to keep pushing Style away, especially when Style is putting in so much effort in their relationship again. And part of me also wonders if Style was trying to avoid being called "dramatic" again (remember: touchy subject) if he had outright complained about being pushed away, while jealousy could maybe be taken as a "more valid" or more expected or acceptable reason to be mad.

Style starts to walk off, upset, because fine, if Fadel doesn't want him here then he'll leave him alone. But Fadel catches his arm. Style is sulking and it's Fadel's job now to make up with him. And Fadel does: "No matter where I am, you're the only one for me." Fadel holds him back, pulls him back in, doesn't simply just let Style go. And then promises his loyalty to Style. Something that Style has promised to Fadel many, many times. Fadel's efforts to get Style to stay placate Style again. This is all Style wants: for Fadel to show that he, too, wishes for Style to be in his life and be willing to work for it, the same way Style constantly shows he wishes for Fadel to be and actively works on Fadel being by his side. Style's face softens again, he smiles a little and lets Fadel kiss him.

They go back to making out against the wall. Well. That is, until the prison guard walks in on them. They quickly jump apart and Style rambles some orders about cleaning up, before walking off. And I love that Style can't help but touch Fadel one last time, before he leaves. He really has gone too long without touching Fadel and has to make up for it now.

Language fun fact: Technically, a pronoun switch from guu/mueng to phom/khun isn't actually happening here, because Style actually uses no pronouns at all when he talks to Fadel in front of the guard! Fadel does drop one polite "krub", but that's about it. There are no pronouns this time, but I think it's safe to assume they would have switched to phom/khun again in front of the guard, if the conversation had gone on.

Side Quest: Year 2 or Literal Horny Jail

Alright, sooo, there isn't that much interesting happening in year 2, or rather not interesting enough that I really wanna get into detail and turn this into its own section, but of course I couldn't leave it entirely unaddressed. So a side quest, it is. The brothers' second year in prison turns out to be a happy one, with both couples really obsessed with each other as if they'd only just started dating, sneaking kisses and make-out sessions whenever they can. Somehow, they're never found out. Everyone is happy and pleased, and this is especially significant for Fadel and Style. They're happy and in love and still very much into each other. We don't actually get any scenes of Fadel and Style together during year 3, but I think it's safe to assume that things are going this well throughout the third year, too. Well, until things aren't. Until suddenly we get dropped down to the ground from the high that we had just been taken up to.

No. 7: Busy Bee

Year 4 comes around and with that all the happiness gets thrown right out the window. Because Style, without a warning, suddenly doesn't show up to class one day and instead waits for Fadel in the visiting room. When Fadel walks in, Style addresses him happily, but his happiness is not as bright as we know it can be, it's a bit subdued. Style asks why Fadel took so long and I think it explains why Style doesn't sound as cheerful as usual: I think while Style was waiting, for a moment he got really worried that Fadel wouldn't come to see him.

By the way, yes, Style did phrase it as a question in the original wording:

Why were you so slow? ทำไมช้าจังเลย [tam-mai - cháa - jang loiie] why - slow, late - so much, very much Official subs: Took you forever.

Fadel explains he went to the garage first, but Style wasn't there. Style apologizes for it, then explains he's been very busy. Style had already mentioned at the beginning of the episode that he was busier compared to before, and now he's even more busy than that. So busy that he might not be able to come in and teach as often anymore. He tells Fadel just that and looks at him with sad, apologetic puppy eyes.

Fadel asks why that is and when Style answers, he puts on a very enthusiastic voice in an attempt to make the situation sound as positive as possible. Style explains that he's in charge of the garage now that his dad is retired and updates Fadel on how he's thinking of expanding the business and how he has a lot of projects going on that allowed him to meet more people in the industry. Style's little mechanic world is getting bigger for him, isn't that exciting? Style just wants to share the joy of his good news with Fadel.

Fadel nods a bit unenthusiastically and says "That's good. It's alright. I understand" and I think Style can tell that in reality Fadel is upset just as much as the audience can, even if it might not immediately seem like he can tell:

Style continues to smile, but it's like he's putting down the enthusiasm that he's just put on, and he looks at Fadel. Style is always looking at Fadel. And Style has become an expert at reading Fadel. There is no way Fadel's disappointment passed right by Style, even if his expression stays positive and affectionate and full of love. Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting to see if Fadel will fall back into his old patterns and usual downward spirals again. And I think Style keeps his expression joyful and warm in order to give Fadel as little reason to think that Style doesn't care about him anymore. But the trauma sits deep within Fadel, leading him to say: "You don't have to come here to teach, you know?"

This is the exact reaction that Style was expecting of Fadel and we can tell, because Style is immediately ready to calm Fadel's anxiety without missing a beat: "Don't worry. I'll make time for it." It's really not that big of a deal. And in case it is a big deal, Style has already thought of a solution, a compromise: "But if I can't, I'll just come visit you instead." Because let's be real, Style would miss Fadel just as much and wouldn't want to miss out on seeing Fadel's face. "Is that okay?" he asks. Do we have a deal? Fadel stares at Style for a second, then nods awkwardly, but looks very unconvinced and doesn't say anything. Style raises his eyebrows a little, then leans back, keeping his eyes fixed on Fadel.

As I said above, I think Style could already tell Fadel was upset a few lines earlier, but I think this is the moment where he realizes that Fadel is more upset than Style had initially thought and that Fadel isn't gonna be easy to cheer up about this. It really does seem to be a big deal to Fadel. So much so, that Style now chooses to address it after all: "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" And I adore how Style continues to interact with Fadel in such a loving, kind way and continues to smile at him warmly.

Style isn't attacking Fadel when he asks Fadel if he's mad, instead he's reaching out to him kindly and in a way that makes it very clear that Style is asking out of concern for Fadel's well-being and not because he's trying to start an argument. In fact, Style is very much trying to not start an argument right now. Fadel says he isn't mad at Style. "I understand you have to live your life. I'm in here so there's nothing I can do but wait." And that's when Style's smile finally falls completely.

I think part of him is concerned for Fadel and his mental state, and part of him is also worried where this might be going. I think the underlying question here is Are you... about to preemptively push me away again because you're falling into a downward spiral again?

Fadel continues. "Style, I think..." Style's face is very serious now as he listens to Fadel to find out where this is headed. Fadel says "Our timing just wasn't right at all" or word for word:

We met at the wrong place at the wrong time. เราเจอกันผิดที่ผิดเวลาไปหน่อยว่ะ [rao - jer gan - pìt - tîi - pìt - weh-lah - bpai nòi - wâ] we - meet each other - wrong - place - wrong - time - too little - [particle]

Style is quiet for a moment and I think now there is also a hint of fear added to the seriousness in his expression as well as confusion.

I think Style does very much understand that Fadel really is in the process of pushing him away again, but I think he's confused about what exactly Fadel means by "wrong place, wrong time". Style needs to know what exactly Fadel is getting at in order to properly fight against Fadel's downward spiral and so he asks. Fadel explains and Style listens intently. "I think you should focus on your future." Style is wasting many hours just to come to see Fadel at the prison since it's so far away. Style doesn't earn any money working at the prison. Style is better off getting paid fixing some expensive cars. "You shouldn't waste your time on me." Fadel is once again simply just presuming Style's perspective on things without actually asking Style about it. But at least Style now has a lead, something specific he can counter. And Style does, and just like before he talks to Fadel in a very kind, warm way: "It's not a waste of time. You're my boyfriend. I will always make time for you. Work is important, but you're also important to me." Style is also back to a warm, happy face now, the seriousness from a moment ago hidden completely.

He then also speaks a little reminder to Fadel that Fadel's behavior right now isn't entirely fair to Style either: "Before you went to jail, you told me to focus on my own life. Now that I'm doing exactly that, you are sulking?" And again, this isn't supposed to be an attack. When Style says this, he is more serious than he was mere seconds before, but Style's voice is still rather soft, and while his words come with a certain urgency, there are no sharp edges to his tone. Style stays patient with Fadel, clearly trying to talk this issue out without getting into a full-blown argument.

By the way, the word that Style uses here that was translated as "sulk" is งอน [ngon]. Avid watchers of Thai dramas might have come across this word before (especially those who also follow actors outside their series). The dictionary thai2english translates it as "sulk" and "pout", and I knew it meant something like this, but I still went ahead and asked my Thai friend about it, in case he had something interesting to say about it. And he did, and I'd just like to share it here, because I think some of you will love to read about it, too. According to my friend งอน [ngon] is when you are "upset and disappointed, because the other person should know better, but it's not significant enough to be properly angry". My friend also said that it's a whole thing: for example when you are งอน [ngon] you can't actually admit to it, and it's the other person's job to come to you and make up with you (this step is called ง้อ [ngóh]).

So Style asks if Fadel is งอน [ngon] (and I hit pause after Style's sentence to have my friend explain this word, before continuing the scene) and Fadel says that no, he is not งอน [ngon] (after which my friend exclaimed: "See!! Exactly!! He's denying it!! Like I said!!"), then tells Style "Just do what you want. Don't take me into account." Fadel gets up to walk away and Style calls out for him to wait. But Fadel is done with the conversation. "I have work in the kitchen. Don’t want these prisoners to starve." With these words, Fadel leaves Style sitting there, alone, looking unhappy.

No. 8: Be Patient, My Son

Next, we find ourselves in Style's garage and we are shown that Style is indeed working hard, earning money. Even his dad comments on it: "You always only fixed a few cars a month. What's going on?" Style's dad then asks if Style is in need of money and Style says he just wants to save it. And that's when we, the audience, slowly start to realize that Style is likely trying to buy back the restaurant. But Style's dad doesn't know this, so he starts asking whether Style is intending to buy a new car, and when Style says no, he's not, his dad makes a guess for a "love nest" (เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh]). I didn't ask my friend about the term เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh], but according to thai2english and sanook.com it refers to a home for newlyweds which, uh, is quite different from "a place (such as an apartment) used for amorous and often illicit rendezvous", which Merriam-Webster defines love nest as. Style's dad asks if Style is getting married, and that's the fifth reference to a FadelStyle marriage. Here's a recap, in case you forgot:

Ep6: "wear make-up with me" vs. "will you marry me" (explanation here)

Ep7: proposal prank

Ep8: Fadel and Style taking part in an actual wedding

Ep11: Style's dad outright telling Fadel and Style to get married

Ep.12: Style's dad asking his son about marriage again

I can't believe this show did not end with them actually getting married, or at the very least engaged. It's gotta be my biggest beef with the show, not gonna lie.

Anyway, so Style informs his dad that he is not, in fact, getting married and goes on to tease his dad, asking if his dad doesn't like seeing his son working hard. The comment makes his dad laugh, although he's already got another question on his mind: "Where's Fadel been, though?" I do think it's kinda funny how this question comes up only after more than three years. Did Style's dad really never wonder about it? Or has Style always casually mentioned Fadel over the years and his dad just assumed that Fadel only happened to come over when Style's dad happened not to be there for it? Why did it take more than three years for this question to come up?

Either way, Style quickly comes up with the excuse that Fadel is in culinary school abroad. And from the way Style says it, it seems like Style is making up this excuse on the spot, which again has me wonder... what exactly has Style been telling his dad the past 3+ years?

Style says that Fadel will be back, which is the truth this time, and Style's dad is happy to hear that, because he's actually rooting for Fadel. We love to hear it. Then Style's dad tells him "You need a lot of trust when it comes to long distance relationships. Be patient, son" and I'm so glad we got this very scene, following the last one. I think this is something Style kinda needed to hear at this point. Because Fadel had just walked out on him, clearly upset, and now Style's relationship is in trouble. And I adore that Style gets told some comforting words, even if his dad actually has no idea what's really going on. "You need trust," his dad tells him, "be patient." And Style thinks about it.

These words hit Style, they mean something to Style. He goes very quiet while his dad continues talking. "You'll be back together soon." Style's dad puts a comforting hand on Style's shoulder and Style's reaction is one I find very difficult to describe and put into words (see gif below). It's like, on the one hand his own optimistic and hopeful nature agrees with his dad, but at the same time he also doesn't quite believe his dad, as if he's thinking Well, whether we'll be back together or not depends entirely on how stubborn Fadel is and if he stops being mad at me. I think part of Style lowkey fears that Fadel might not be willing to make up with him again. Style looks at his dad who then gives him an encouraging nod and Style returns a small smile and a little nod himself.

Style's dad walks away and Style's smile slowly falls as he gets lost in thought and looks down at the money in his hands.

Style is most definitely thinking about the state of his relationship with Fadel and his dad's encouraging words right now. And we, the audience, are now all going Oh, he is SO buying back the restaurant for Fadel!! Honestly, it's my own personal headcanon that Style started working out a plan to buy it the moment he got back from that very first visit where Fadel was like "I'm gonna buy back the restaurant."

No. 9: Making Up

We don't know how long it's been since Fadel and Style talked last, but I assume it's been a while, since last time we checked Style said he might not be able to come as often and now we learn from Bison that Style is at the prison twice a week these days. Personally I assume it's been at least a month if not more. I feel like 3 weeks should be a long enough time for "twice a week" to have become an established pattern that Bison can point out, plus at least one or the other week for Style to work on his projects before that. There's also the chance that it's been even longer than that. Either way, it's been quite a while for sure. After all this time, Fadel is still งอน [ngon] at Style and as my friend explained to me, it's Style's responsibility to make up with him. And so Style does. Surely also boosted by his dad's encouraging words, Style takes the first step towards Fadel by having Bison deliver a small origami bouquet. We know for a fact that Style was not the one who made the bouquet, because Bison does explicitly say the bouquet came "from someone who takes origami training" and I don't think it was a lie, because I think Style would most certainly have bragged about his origami skills if he'd made it himself. However, I do think the little Heart Burger flag is something that Style did make himself. And it's the first hint of confirmation that we get that Style is indeed trying to buy back the restaurant. Fadel doesn't make the connection, though. The little gift still touches him enough to finally seek out Style again instead of actively avoiding him.

Style is wiping the board when Fadel finds him. We don't know if Style is about to start a class and is wiping the board in preparation so that he would have space to write on once the prisoners come in or if he just ended a class and now he's doing some clean-up for next time. My personal headcanon is that we're seeing Style after class actually. It's been established that the prisoners help putting stuff back once class is over and with the way Style is completely by himself when the scene starts it's my headcanon that Style is being slow and hanging back on purpose, because he is desperately hoping Fadel would come to see him, even if Style isn't really expecting it. And the reason why I believe Style thinks Fadel won't show up despite the gift is because Style isn't cheerful the way he usually is when he's purposefully staying optimistic (like he was for example when he's talking to Kant about the cat in front of the abandoned diner in episode 6, or in episode 7 when there is clearly something off about the assassin brothers and Kant points it out and Style insists that Kant is overthinking it or in episode 9 when he makes wishes for his dead body and so on). No, Style looks very serious when the camera first cuts to his face.

He does smile a little once it's fully sunk in that Fadel is really here, standing in front of him, and only then does he put on a bit of a cheerful, teasing voice when he tells Fadel: "Thought you'd never see me again." Didn't I say Style was a little afraid that Fadel might not be willing to make up again? Fadel bluntly asks what Style is here for and Style drops the positive voice. Instead, now his voice sounds more concerned and regretful when he asks "What are you mad (งอน [ngon]) at me about?" As per the etiquette that my friend explained, Fadel immediately denies that he's mad (งอน [ngon]). But then he finally does tell Style what the problem is: "I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." (Btw, Fadel did indeed say this pretty much word for word when he was crying on those steps in episode 10.) Style then says "But I didn't do anything to disappoint you."

I actually had a question about this line to my friend as well: for the English translation the sentence was phrased in past tense and to me that sounds like Style is talking about something specific maybe back around that time when he failed to show up to teach, an incident clearly set in the past. The thing is, though, that Thai doesn't actually have verb tenses. There are words you can add to a sentence that will clarify whether a statement is about the past or the future, but the verb itself doesn't change and sometimes things can get a little muddy. This is one such case. And I was confused, because especially in retrospective where we know Style is actually in the middle of trying to get back the restaurant (he also states later in the scene that he is in the middle of doing something that he isn't sure is gonna work yet, meaning the restaurant has not yet been acquired at this point) I thought Style's statement could maybe also be taken as What I'm doing and working on right now isn't something that is wronging you. Since Style trying to buy back the restaurant is an on-going project that is happening off-screen at the very same time, it's not a one time thing that happened back when Fadel first got mad at Style. No, it's still happening at this very moment. I discussed this with my friend who thought about it for a moment and then decided that the present perfect tense would probably be the best solution here, since it implies that it's about something that started in the past and is still on-going (or still has an effect) in the present.

So Fadel says he doesn't want to be disappointed and Style tells him "But I haven't done anything to disappoint you." Because what Style has been doing will be the opposite of a disappointment for Fadel. If it works out, that is. Because if it doesn't, if Style fails then it will be a huge disappointment to Fadel. And so Style doesn't want to tell Fadel about it just yet, precisely because he knows Fadel doesn't like disappointments. But Fadel is missing all that context, and so to him the situation reads very differently. And he's hurt. And now he finally opens up to Style about it: "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?" Style doesn't reply, he just keeps looking at Fadel with a serious face.

I think he feels bad that Fadel feels like this, but I think he truly doesn't dare to reveal what he's doing. Style knows just how important the burger restaurant was/is for Fadel and how much he loved the place and I think Style assumes it will be an even bigger disappointment and blow to Fadel if Style outright tells him and then fails to deliver. And it's a disappointment that Style really doesn't want to see, because I think it would crush Style himself. I think Style would actually beat himself up about that. And so he keeps his plans to himself, because he's afraid of failure. This specific failure is one he really can't afford. Style stays silent and doesn't answer Fadel's question. Fadel continues to rage: "If you can't do it, don't promise me anything. Do you know how easy it is to overthink when I'm here?" Style still isn't saying anything. Fadel is done. "If you have something important to do, just focus on it. I don't want to slow you down."

Fadel turns to walk off angrily. Style moves at the speed of lightning to hold Fadel back. Fadel finally talked to him and Style is not gonna let him go that easily. They still have something to clear up. Fadel stops and turns back to look at Style again. Before Style even says anything, he pulls away his vest to reveal the heart burger pin that Fadel gave to him. The pin that is very important to Fadel, the pin Fadel is very protective of. In a way, the pin is Fadel's heart which he gave to Style only last episode. And it's right there. Fadel's heart. On Style's heart. In Style's heart. "You're the most important thing to me," is the first thing out of Style's mouth. Style is extremely serious right now. All of Style's decisions, all of Style's actions revolve around Fadel. And he really doesn't want to lose him. And even if he's afraid of failure and disappointing Fadel if he can't pull through with his plan, losing Fadel is worse, and so Style finally opens up at least a little bit: "I'm doing something for both of our futures." Again, Style is extremely serious. He isn't hiding behind a positive attitude, his words aren't performative in the slightest. This is extremely serious and extremely important. I think Fadel does believe him, but wants to confirm that it's true and also doesn't want to be kept in the dark. "What are you doing?" he asks, then throws Style a challenge, almost an attack: "Can you tell me?" You know your behavior is hurting me, will you keep it up for the sake of whatever it is you're apparently doing?

At this point everyone in the audience is screaming HE'S BUYING BACK THE RESTAURANT FOR YOU, YOU DIMWIT!!!!! at Fadel. But Fadel still isn't making the connection, despite the hint with the Heart Burger flag and the Heart Burger pin and Style dropping he's working on their shared future. Can you tell me? But Style can't. He doesn't quite dare. "Can you wait a little longer? I want to be certain about it first. I want to make sure I really can do it." This is a plea. Style is pleading with Fadel. I told you as much as I could and I really am trying my best. For us. Will you please give me the benefit of the doubt and be considerate of my feelings in this situation, too? As I said, I think Fadel did believe Style earlier already, but I think now Fadel really understands that what Style is doing is very important to Style, but that it comes with certain insecurities that Style isn't ready to open up about. Style never pressured Fadel to open up about anything he wasn't ready to open up about and Fadel isn't about to pressure Style either. Style is loud and clear on the fact that he has Fadel in mind and that Fadel is important to him. Fadel doesn't immediately answer and instead contemplates on the situation and Style's plea while Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Fadel's reaction, Fadel's response really matters to Style right now. Their relationship depends on it. And then Fadel finally yields. Because Style and their relationship is just as important to Fadel. Even if the situation isn't ideal. "You really love surprising me, don’t you?" Fadel finally says. And let me just share the original wording, even if it doesn't make much of a difference:

You always like to surprise me. มึงนี่ชอบเซอร์ไพรส์กูตลอดเลยนะ [mueng - nîi - chôp - sêr-prai - guu - dtà-lòt - loiie - ná] you - [interjection] - like - surprise - me - always - [particle] - [particle]

(Alt. translation: You're always surprising me.)

I like that in Thai Fadel says Style always surprises him, because to me it highlights how for the past 12 episodes we really have watched Style surprise Fadel all the time. Over and over again. In many different ways. God, I love them, I love their story so much. Anyway. Back to the scene. Fadel says this and Style understands that Fadel is no longer outright pushing him away or blocking him anymore. Style replies:

Then come learn how to fix cars with me again. งั้นมาเรียนซ่อมรถกับกูใหม่นะ [ngán - maa - riian - sôm - rót - gàp - guu - mài - ná] then - come - learn - fix, repair - car(s) - with - me - again - [na] Official subs: Come back to class.

The phrasing of the official subs sounded a bit too much like a direct order in their written form, especially without the context of Style's friendly tone, which is why I wanted to share a softer phrasing for the purpose of this meta. Because Style's words aren't an order. They're an invitation. If you've forgiven me, come see me again regularly. They're a peace offering. Fadel stays grumpy and grumbles: "I've been taking the course for years, and I still don't know how to fix anything." It's a stab at Style, but not an aggressive one. And it doesn't have anything to do with their original conflict. Fadel is leaving that conflict behind. Fadel has forgiven Style, even if he doesn't outright say it. Style finally laughs (or rather snorts) for the first time this entire scene and for a moment it looks like he's about to cry from relief that Fadel is no longer angry and that their relationship is saved:

Fadel continues with his grumbly teasing: "All you do is yap." The relationship really is back on. Style teases Fadel right back: "But that's exactly what you love about me, isn't it?" This isn't just Style going along with Fadel's teasing, it's also Style telling Fadel No matter how grumpy you pretend you are, no matter how much you were ignoring me, I know you never stopped loving me, I know you still love me now.

And finally, Fadel breaks. He laughs for a moment. Because he can't deny Style's call-out. Both, that he still loves Style and that he likes that Style is a chatty cat. Fadel pulls up the Heart Burger flag from the origami bouquet. Style laughs in surprise. Why? I don't know. You decide. Maybe he thought Fadel had stomped on it in dramatic anger. Or maybe he's thinking Oh wow, did the bouquet and the flag actually work? Is that what finally made him come see me again? Fadel is still holding up the flag and says that it's cute. And again you can really see the relief in Style's eyes, alongside his joy that things are looking better now with Fadel.

Style asks Fadel to clean the board and Fadel grumbles about it, but does it anyway. Because when does Fadel not give in to Style.

No. 10: Show, Don't Tell

We reach year 5 and finally the brothers are released. We check in with our foursome on the day the brothers get to go home. Bison walks through the door first, runs up to Kant and hugs him. In the meantime, Style is sat on the hood of the car. Fadel doesn't immediately walk up to him, but instead stops behind/next to Kant and Bison who discuss just how much they missed each other. Style doesn't pass up the opportunity to tease Fadel (and I think Style, too, wants a proper greeting, thank you very much):

Hey. This couple said they missed each other. เฮ้ย คู่นี้เขาบอกคิดถึงกันด้วยนะ [hóiie • kûu níi - kăo - bòhk - kít-tĕung - gan - dûuay - ná] hey • this couple - tell - miss - each other - too - [particle] Official subs: Hear that? He said he missed him and all that. So how about you, did you miss me? แล้วมึงอ่ะ คิดถึงกูป่ะ [láew - mueng - àh • kít-tĕung - guu - bpà] and - you - [particle] • miss - me - ? Official subs: Did you miss me at all?

(Sharing this mostly because I feel like it and I know a lot of you love the language bits, not because the literal wording makes any difference in this case lol)

Fadel announces "I'm not saying it", but the reality of the matter is that Style's wish is Fadel's command. And so Fadel walks up to Style and plants a kiss on his lips. "I'm showing it."

But before they break apart, Style pats Fadel like easy tiger, we have company. I do think this is about Kant and Bison's live slug reaction and not because Style doesn't want to be kissing Fadel right now. I think Style is trying to be considerate of the other two. After the kiss, Style gets up, hugs Fadel and over his shoulder nods at Kant and Bison and boastfully points at Fadel like Did you guys see that?? That's my man!! It's the exact same energy as he had at the end of episode 9 when he was raising his eyebrows at Kant and Bison in the boat. It's the You guys don't have a Fadew like me energy. (I'm out of images for this post, but here's a parallel gifset.) I love just how proud Style always is of Fadel, and how happily he'll show him off.

While Fadel and Style are busy hugging, Kant and Bison discuss where they should go to now. Style jumps in to ask "Hey, can you guys drop me off near my place first?" and Fadel gets confused: "What do you mean, 'your place'? The garage?" Fadel's confusion might be a little weird, because why exactly would Fadel be so confused about "my place"? That seems pretty self-explanatory in English, no? Well, let me explain. Because there's something really interesting going on here in Thai...

Now, I didn't go back and rewatch the entire show to check (if I did, it would be March until I finally drop this meta lol), but as far as I remember they usually refer to Style's place as "the garage", or อู่ [ùu] in Thai. But here for this line, when Style say "my place", he does not use the word อู่ [ùu] (= garage). Instead, he asks to be dropped off at his ร้าน [ráan]. Now what does that mean? This word means "store" or "shop" and like in English it can be paired with other words to specify just what kind of shop it is, for example:

ร้านหนังสือ [ráan năng-sĕu]: ráan (store) + năng-sĕu (book) = book store

ร้านดอกไม้ [ráan dòhk mái]: ráan (store) + dòhk mái (flower) = flower shop

You may have noticed that I said Style says just ร้าน [ráan], without specifying what kind of shop it is. Because just like in English, you can drop the specification and refer to it as just "the shop" (or ร้าน [ráan] in this case).

Now here comes the interesting bit: this word is also used when referring to food related places such as...

restaurant = ร้านอาหาร [ráan aa-hăan] -> ráan (shop) + aa-hăan (food)

coffee shop = ร้านกาแฟ [ráan gaa-fae] -> ráan (shop) + gaa-fae (coffee)

Or, you know, it's also in... ร้านเบอร์เกอร์ [ráan ber-gêr]. Now, เบอร์เกอร์ is "burger", but written in Thai letters. I don't have to tell you what ráan burger translates to, do I?

Oh, and at his point I should probably also mention that while the characters usually refer to Style's place as อู่ [ùu] (garage), when they talk about Fadel's place (the diner) they usually call it ร้าน [ráan] (shop, restaurant).

So yeah. The moment Style dropped that he wanted to be taken to his ร้าน [ráan] instead of his อู่ [ùu] (= garage) was the moment I started screaming, because that's when I knew for sure Style had bought back the restaurant and more importantly, that he had succeeded in doing so (yes, I did scream as if I didn't already know they were gonna be back at the restaurant through the clips shown in the MVs and from pics the boys posted during the shoot where they posed in front of the burger shop sign and their clothes matched the ones from the clips lol).

As I already mentioned, Style refers to it as just ร้าน [ráan] without specifying what kind of ร้าน [ráan] it is and it's vague enough that Fadel doesn't catch on the surprise, but it's just weird enough for Fadel to get confused: "What do you mean, 'ร้าน [ráan]'? The garage (อู่ [ùu])?" Yeah, Fadel's confusion here is about Style's unexpected word choice, because usually Style doesn't refer to his garage as ร้าน [ráan] (= shop, store). This is how they used to refer to the diner before Fadel had to go to prison. Style tells him he'll know soon and urges him to get into the car. They all do and Kant drives off.

No. 11: Surprise Surprise

The surprise works. Fadel didn't see it coming. "You said it was sold to someone." Style nods, making a m-hm sound, an adoring smile on his face that just oozes love and care. I really wish I could add a gif or a screenshot of his face, but unfortunately there's an image limit. I mean, you've seen the episode. You know how head over heels in love Style looks throughout this entire scene.

Style explains he bought it back for Fadel who then says Style didn't have to do that. Style says "I worked my ass off to buy this place back for you." I'm not entirely happy with the phrasing in the official subs, because to me there is also a negative connotation hidden in the phrase "work one's ass off", in the sense of "I worked my ass off for [xyz] and you don't appreciate it". But that might just be my ESL brain, maybe the media I've consumed mostly used this phrase in a more negative context and now my brain associates it with that.

In Thai Style uses the expression ตั้งใจทำงาน [dtâng jai tam ngaan] which does translate to "to work hard", but this expression contains the word ตั้งใจ [dtâng jai] which means "to intend to" or "to mean". I think it highlights with how much intention Style did this for Fadel. Style really meant to do this, like he's meant a lot of other things he's said or done over the last few episodes.

And Style putting in so much work also really shows how much he's grown. Because in the first half of the show I kept wondering why he had so much time to run after Fadel. We were told Style works as a mechanic, but we rarely saw him do any actual work. Instead, Style was able to follow Fadel's routine at the market or at the sports field or was even able to randomly help Fadel work at the restaurant without any scheduling problems and I kept thinking... what about his job at the garage? Is he never working? How does he have so much time to bother Fadel? And earlier in episode 12 Style's dad actually confirms just that: "You always only fixed a few cars a month." So Style, indeed, had the time to keep bugging Fadel. And back then it seemed like he didn't really have anything to do, didn't really have a goal or any direction in life. But then Kant sets Style on Fadel. And suddenly Style has a mission. And then Style falls in love. And now he suddenly has goals to work towards. We saw it last episode already, when Style suddenly started to make plans (first, his elaborate plan on getting Fadel and Bison on the run and second, during his last supper with Fadel when Style suggests making a plan for their life and their relationship while Fadel was imprisoned), and now it's not just that Style has started planning, but he makes plans with a very specific goal in mind and puts all his efforts in to reach this goal. He's no longer running around doing whatever. Style has really matured in this regard, Fadel's influence has changed him and has made him grow.

When Style says how determined he was to work hard to earn money to buy back the restaurant, his voice is somehow both soft and firm at the same time. His voice is so soft and filled with so much love, but there is some urgency to it, because Style needs Fadel to know this and he needs Fadel to know that he wanted to do this for him. Style knows he didn't have to, but Style wanted to. And it's important to him that Fadel really understands this. Because over the years Fadel has so often blocked or disregarded or struggled to accept all the nice things that Style has done for him. And Style doesn't want his act of love to be devalued again, especially not when he has spent so much time, effort, and energy on it purely out of love. A love that is worth it.

It's finally hitting Fadel what Style was so busy with when Fadel was sulking at him. Style confirms with another "mh". God, Style's heart eyes are really off the charts in this scene. "I wasn't sure I could do it so I didn't tell you," Style explains. And then he tells Fadel how he managed to keep up the energy in order to succeed despite his uncertainty: "But the image of you being back in this restaurant gave me this great strength to fix at least a hundred cars." Style smiles a bright, adoring smile. He's so in love. Fadel takes Styles hand and thanks him: "Thank you for doing this for me and for waiting for me." When Style responds, he actually phrases his sentence in a less direct and more general way in Thai than he does in the official subs:

Well, when you love someone, you gotta be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This is an interesting difference between the Thai wording and the English subs, because once Fadel and Style start dating, Style actually rarely ever outright says the words "I love you" (and neither does Fadel, by the way). The only time Style properly says it is when Fadel has him at gun point in episode 7:

But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel. แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล [dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel] but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really, for real - [na] - Fadel Official subs: Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel.

And then arguably he says it again in episode 10 when he comforts Fadel on the stairs, although it's up to debate if that really counts as a direct "I love you":

But that I'm still staying / But that I still stayed แต่ที่กูยังอยู่ [dtàe - tîi - guu - yang - yùu] but - that - I - still - stay Official subs: But I stay with you is because I love that you're you / is because I love you for being you เพราะกูรักที่เป็นมึง [próh - guu - rák - tîi - bpen - mueng] because - I - love - that - be - you Official subs: because I love who you are.

Any other time Style talks about "love", he never addresses Fadel directly but phrases it in a more general way, using the word คน [kon] which means "person" or "people" instead of a pronoun. Style does this in episode 10 just a little while after the above line:

The more I know how much you care about me, ยิ่งกูรู้ว่ามึงแค่ร์กูขนาดเนี่ย [yîng - guu - rúu - wâa - mueng - kâe - guu - kà-nàat nîia] the more - I - know - that - you - care (about) - me - like this, this much Official subs: Knowing how much you care about me the more I know that I don't love the wrong person. มันยิ่งทำให้รู้นะว่ากูอ่ะ รักคนไม่ผิด [man - yîng - tam hâi - rúu - ná - wâa - guu - àh • rák - kon - mâi - pìt] it - the more - make that, cause - know - [particle] - that - I - [particle] • love - person - not - wrong Official subs: makes me certain that I didn't choose the wrong man.

And he also does it in episode 9 when Fadel opens up about his ex for the first time on the island:

A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know. คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ​ [kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám] person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even Official subs: You risked your life for a total stranger. I love the right person. กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ [guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá] I - love - right - person - already - [particle] Official subs: I know I'm in love with the right man.

And Style does it again now in episode 12, standing in front of the restaurant with Fadel. And let me just repeat the line with an even more literal translation this time (this sentence really doesn't work well in a literal translation in English, especially because English also comes with plural forms rip):

Well, people who love, they gotta be able to wait. / Well, a person who loves, has to be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This time Style actually switches it around, because previously คน [kon] implicitly referred to Fadel, while this time คน [kon] actually refers to Style himself. And for some reason the official translator went for a direct "I love you" when Style neither says "I", nor says "you". In the entire series, Fadel and Style rarely say the words "I love you" word for word to each other. It's very clear that they do love each other, but they never outright say it. Instead they say things like "I'm worried about you" or "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you" or "I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And they don't really need to tell each other I love you anyway, because their actions speak for themselves. It's like Fadel said the moment he got out of prison: "I'm not saying it. I'm showing it." And yes, this line was about missing Style, but really, this sentiment also goes for their love, for both Fadel as well as Style. So Style doesn't directly say he loves Fadel, instead Style just implies it and it's only in the next line where he doesn't mention the word "love" that he directly addresses Fadel:

Whether it's 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, I can always wait for you. จะ 5 ปี 10 ปี 20 ปี รอมึงได้เสมอแหละ [jà - hâa - bpii - sìp - bpii - yîi-sìp - bpii - raw - mueng - dâai - sà-mĕr -làe] will - 5 - years - 10 - years - 20 - years - wait (for) - you - be able to - always - [particle] Official subs: Whether it’s five, ten, or twenty years, I'll wait for you.

And this is the point where I get jumpscared by Dunk's voice suddenly blasting through my speakers. I wish the editors had made the music just a little more quiet. It gets me every single time, because every single time I watch this scene I get so immersed that I completely forget about the jumpscare. Fadel and Style lovingly stare at each other while I scramble to save the health of my eardrums. Then Fadel says he'll work hard to pay Style back, but Style doesn't want that. Technically Style is the current owner, and if Fadel were to pay him back then it would be like Fadel was buying the restaurant from Style. But that's not how Style wants to see it. Because this isn't Style's restaurant that Fadel has to buy from him. No, it's their restaurant. It's already their restaurant. Because obviously if Style owns it, then Fadel owns it, too. It's both a gift to Fadel and something that Style bought for them to share. Because "I'm here to support you in all your dreams." Because no one means well for Fadel more than Style does.

Fadel says "I sure am a lucky guy. I've been doing bad things my entire life, but I have the best boyfriend in the world." Style throws his head to the side, smiling, half in an Oh, you sweet-talker way and half in a No need to mention it, kinda way. Then he says "It's all thanks to Kant for daring me to take you out." And this is actually a reference to the title. The Thai name of the series goes:

He hired me to flirt with a hitman เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า [kăo - jâang - hâi - pŏm - jìip - nák-kâa] he - hire - that - I - hit on, flirt, woo - assassin

And this is what Style says:

[...] for hiring me flirt with you. [...] ที่จ้างกูมาจีบมึง [tîi - jâang - guu - maa - jìip - mueng] that - hire - I - come - hit on, flirt, woo - you

Style laughs and Fadel smiles, too, and then Style pulls the Heart Burger pin out of his pocket. Without a word, he carefully pins it onto Fadel's shirt while Fadel makes heart-eyes at him. It's a parallel to Fadel putting the pin on Style last episode. The ring pin exchange is complete. Style says "From now on, everything is yours." They're all but married. Style still has his hand on Fadel's chest by the pin. Fadel goes to grab it. They smile at each other. Then they turn and together they enter the restaurant, their restaurant, their shared future, hand in hand.

No. 12: Dinner With Mom

At night, when Fadel and Style are done at the ร้าน [ráan] (restaurant) they do go to Style's อู่ [ùu] (garage). And I love how Style immediately calls out that Fadel is here. Style is so excited to tell his dad the joyful news. But but before he has the chance to share his good news, he gets surprised with bad news instead. A dinner invitation.

Our foursome once again gets together to fight evil. And of course, the evil dinner invitation calls for an urgent outfit change for all four of them. They're greeted by two men holding out guns, and Style is a bit startled for a moment, but otherwise keeps calm. The men demand Fadel's and Bison's guns and the brothers hand them over. The men then walk into the dining room and the the four of them look at each other before following the men inside where Lilly is waiting for them together with Babe and Style's dad tied up on their chairs. Kant and Style immediately call out to their loved ones. In general, I just love how worried about his dad Style is throughout the entire scene and how he keeps checking and communicating with him. I actually made a whole separate post about this with lots of gifs where I really go into detail about it, because the relationship between Style and his dad really needs to be appreciated in all its glory in gifs and tumblr simply just has an image limit of 30 gifs per (desktop) post. I can't afford to spend like 20 of them on Style and his dad alone. It was already tricky enough to limit everything I wanted to showcase for this episode to only 30 images in the first place. Anyway. Back to the scene.

Once again Style finds himself in danger, and once again he mainly stays out of the conflict between the brothers and their mother. We also aren't shown Style's face that much, so we can only make guesses as to how he feels listening to Lilly monologuing on and on and Bison raging at her. Style probably feels worried, especially for his dad. We know this, because in the beginning of the scene, before everyone sat down at the table, Style was very fixated on his dad and you could tell that he wanted nothing more than to run over to him and check if his dad was unharmed. When everyone is sitting at the table, sometimes the camera cuts into a wideshot and while we only see the back of Style's head, we can tell that he's looking at Lilly, so I assume he's paying close attention to her words and actions.

At some point, Kant chimes in: "It was me who exposed you. I masterminded the whole thing. If you want to kill someone, kill me. Just let my brother go." Style immediately jumps on board: "Kant was right. Let my Dad go. He doesn't know anything. I don't care what you do to me." We already learned in episode 9 that Style is very much willing to give his own life for the people he loves and so it doesn't come as a surprise at all that he's willing to offer himself up for his dad. However, in comparison to episode 9 there now is a hint of uncertainty to Style's voice, because he really doesn't know Lilly and so he can't predict her actions and reactions unlike he could with Fadel in episode 9. Lilly laughs a mocking laugh while Style and his dad exchange glances. And I love that they exchange glances here, because, to quote from my other post:

i love that style is communicating with his dad again at this very point, because style offering himself up will also affect his dad. his dad might be physically fine if style trades his dad for himself, but emotionally the dad will be ruined if lilly takes his son's life, especially when he's already had to deal with the loss of his wife years ago. style being willing to sacrifice himself isn't nothing, in fact, it's a very big deal and so the two of them communicate about it

Lilly continues to monologue and announces she has some poisonous drinks prepared for the occasion. Style turns to his dad and says "Dad. I'm sorry." His dad had absolutely nothing to do with this, his dad is totally innocent and Style hates that his dad was pulled into this and that his dad's life is now in danger.

We then don't see any shot of Style at all while Fadel and Bison plead with their mother and offer to continue working for her. We don't get to see Style immediate reaction to Lilly's announcement that she'll let her sons and their boyfriends go if her sons give their brother-in-law and their father-in-law the poisoned drink. There is a long pause and it's only right before Lilly asks "Can you do that?" that the camera goes back to Style and we see there is shock and concern. Shit's getting real.

Fadel and Bison say yes, they can. Style is most definitely very worried right now, but to be honest, I don't feel like he's all that terrified, I think that's more of a secondary feeling. He watches closely as Fadel lifts the glass towards his dad lips, and Style is clearly anxious and agitated and maybe a little afraid, but he doesn't say a single word to stop Fadel and I think deep down he does trust Fadel not to kill his dad, trusts Fadel to find a way out with dad unscathed. After all they've been through, I think Style trusts Fadel not to cause him such great pain. Although I do think Style is ready to swap the glass out of Fadel's hand at any given moment. But Fadel pulls through. From one moment to the next Fadel throws the wine into his mother's minion's face, attacks him, and Bison follows his lead. Style and Kant jump up to free their family.

Fadel and Bison kill the henchmen without remorse and end up with Lilly at gunpoint. Kant calls out for Bison not to kill her and Style offers to call the cops. Now that the immediate danger is over, we get to see a little bit of that Style again who tries to mediate and solve conflicts with as few people coming to harm as possible. But Fadel orders him not to get the police involved, so Style drops his phone, still concerned and not entirely happy, but without further protest. Style, Kant, and their family watch the brothers poison Lilly without interrupting them.

And I kinda love we do get to see Style witness Fadel actually murdering someone, because in my ep5 meta I wrote this:

"I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you." And there it is. Style's decision. [...] Fadel doesn't believe [Style's] promise, though. "Words are cheap. I'll do that when you're ready. You can judge, then." Again, I think Fadel has a point. [...] Because yes, Style may say he'll like Fadel no matter his occupation, but Style still hasn't seen the killer in action. Fadel's words mean Decide whether you still like me or not only when you find out my real occupation before you promise anything as much as they mean Decide whether you still like me or not once you've actually seen me murder someone in front of you before you promise anything. Style has already made a decision about the former, but he is yet to make a decision about the latter.

And so I love that Style is now able to make the choice of loving Fadel having seen Fadel truly at his worst, having seen him murder someone in cold blood.

I know for this meta I focus purely on character analysis, and I don't really criticize (whether it's acting performances or script writing or directing or whatnot), but I do wish the series would have spent a little more time on this, on Style seeing Fadel kill. Because Style is clearly affected by what he is witnessing.

Something truly horrible is happening right in front of his eyes. And it's a shame that Style finally seeing the killer in action gets kind of just glossed over in the very next moment when "I'm a killer, I'm a bad person, you should be wary of me" "I love you anyway" has been such a big theme for these two. It's kinda weird that we go from Style looking this horrified to Style being happy and content in bed, as if nothing had happened. That kill doesn't even get mentioned again. I feel like you could jump from the scene in front of the diner straight to Fadel and Style in bed and not notice that any major traumatizing event has occurred in between. Ah well. Let's move on.

No. 13: 100%

We come back to Fadel and Style sitting in Style's bed at night. Fadel is wondering if he should change the restaurant's name and Style thinks it's fine as it is. But Fadel says he wants Style to be a part of it, too, so Style suggests "Just add an S and a heart" and I'm just thinking... So, Heart Burgers? Or Hearts Burger, since he talks about an additional heart? Or maybe the S in an entirely different position? Whatever name Style is thinking of, according to him with an added S and another heart it'll be a better version than Fadel's version, because:

Because you have another heart right here. เพราะมีหัวใจอีกดวงเพิ่มขึ้นมาอยู่ตรงนี้ไง [próh - mii - hŭua-jai - ìik - duuang - pêrm kêun - maa - yùu - dtrong níi - ngai] because - have - heart - another - [classifier] - increased - come - be - here - [particle] Official subs: With another heart, that is.

Fadel likes Style's idea. And before I move on, I just want to go into more depth about this little sequence for a moment: after Fadel explains that he's thinking of changing the name because he wants Style to be part of it, too, Style looks like he thinks about something for a moment before he says "I don't think it needs much change." Of course, in this moment he is thinking about what exactly could be changed if Fadel really does want to change something, but the thing is, Style already likes the restaurant the way it is. He doesn't necessarily need the restaurant to change if Fadel is changing it just because he thinks Style would want him to change it. It really reminds me of episode 6 and the theme of "Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be". If the restaurant represents Fadel's life, Style already likes Fadel the way he is. But if Fadel does want to change, there is something important to do: he needs to add a S(tyle) to his life. And another heart (Style's heart). With that, it will make a much better version of Fadel's life than it was before. And Fadel actually agrees.

I can't help but think back to the last time they were in Style's bed at night, all the way back in episode 5. Back then, Fadel really struggled with sharing his life with Style and letting him come close. Now Fadel actively wants Style to be part of his life. Now that he's done being a hitman, the restaurant can finally be Fadel's life, but it's not his restaurant alone, it's theirs. Getting to be part of Fadel's life is something Style has desired for a long time now and has even fought and argued with Fadel over on multiple occasions, and now Style is finally granted his wish. Fadel is finally letting Style in. When Fadel agrees that a better version would be one with an added S(tyle), Style looks at Fadel for a moment and thinks about something again.

Style knows Fadel loves him. And that actually reminds him... Style turns to grab something off the shelf next to him and proudly presents it to Fadel. The key to Kant's car. It's finally Style's. And I know from a story crafting perspective it makes sense for Style to receive the car only at the very end, but it's still really funny to me that Style was given the car only now, when Fadel has without a doubt been head over heels in love with Style for the past five years already. Because Fadel was without a doubt already head over heels in love with Style before he went to prison. But however long it took, what really matters is that Style did get the car, because a deal is a deal. And Style did indeed succeed. "If I could make you fall crazy in love with me, I'd get his car." When Style says that, his voice is full of affection and there's also a bit of teasing. I know you're head over heels in love with me. But Fadel tells Style to give the key back to Kant:

Because I don't love you that much. เพราะกูไม่ได้รักมึงขนาดนั้น [próh - guu - mâi dâai - rák - mueng - kà-nàat nán] because - I - not - love - you - to that extent Official subs: I’m not in love with you like that.

Style wordlessly stares at Fadel for a second while he's processing those words, blinks, then lowers his head. Really now?

Fadel looks at him, a grin most definitely hidden in his eyes, then huffs and pointedly ignores Style. It's a challenge. Style puts down the car key. Challenge accepted. Because Style is not one to back down from a challenge. This personality trait has stayed consistent until the end of the series. Style turns to loom over Fadel. "Are you sure that you're not head over heels in love with me?" Because Style knows with unwavering certainty that Fadel is. He just needs Fadel to admit to it. I've already talked about how Fadel and Style hardly say "I love you" to each other. Style, the person who loves so fiercely and so passionately and so loudly, already rarely says it himself and Fadel says it even less. In fact, ever since they've started dating the only other time Fadel has said he loves Style since that one time Fadel directly said it the night he found out about the betrayal in episode 6 was in the kitchen in episode 11 when he said he wants to "do what I love with who I love" and even then he actually doesn't literally say the words I love you, but rather just implies it. If anything, Fadel likes to claim he isn't actually in love with Style. And so I think Style wants to hear Fadel say differently out loud for once, even if Fadel's actions speak louder than his words anyway.

But Fadel continues to ignore him. I think Fadel is waiting to see what Style will do in order to draw the words out of Fadel's mouth that Style so desperately wants to hear. It's like he's testing Style's persistence. Style kisses Fadel's cheeks and asks "How much do you love me?" But Fadel isn't giving in to Style that easily and that quickly. "Only 30%." He knows Style is chasing those 100%. Style ups the ante and kisses Fadel's neck. This is a game now. "How much do you love me?" Fadel says "60% now" and looks up at Style, waiting to see what Style's next move is going to be. This time, Style goes for the mouth, goes for a full make-out session even. Then Style asks again: "How much do you love me?" He grins at Fadel expectantly and he's definitely also a little bit satisfied and proud. Fadel doesn't reply immediately, just puts his hand on Style's face and looks at him for a moment. And then Fadel finally gives in and says "100%".

Again, this meta isn't supposed to be a review or a criticism piece on the story, but I do think it's a bit of a shame that the conversations about percentages wasn't about trust. Because I feel like the main question with them over the series wasn't really Does Fadel love Style? but rather Does Fadel trust Style? And trust was also the big theme of episode 5, the episode that Fadel and Style's game in episode 12 is a callback to: "A guy like me doesn't go trusting someone 100%." And a little later in episode 5, when they're in Style's bed, Style more or less opens the conversation with "Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe," which again is about trust, not love. This theme continues also in episode 8, when Fadel handcuffs Style to the bed, because "I don't trust you", not because he doesn't love Style. Episode 8 is all about Style trying to gain Fadel's trust again, not his love: "What do I have to do for you to trust me?" The episode 12 dialogue does work in a way, because Fadel did say he didn't love Style or didn't like him all that much multiple times over the course of the series, and he even makes a comment like that in this very scene that we're currently discussing. But the thing is, Style never actually believes Fadel whenever Fadel claims he doesn't love Style (that much) and Style even calls him out on his "I don't love you" claim in episode 8: "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you're not very good at lying at all." Style never doubted that Fadel loved him, but trust has been a very big issue. In fact, trust also played a role only this very episode when Fadel was sulking at Style when Style couldn't come in to teach in prison. Because in episode 10 Fadel had told Style "I don't want to have any expectations just to be disappointed" and Fadel had trusted Style not to disappoint him, except then Style seemingly does disappoint him and that hurts Fadel ("I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." [...] "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?"). It makes Fadel feel like he can't trust Style, not that he can't love Style. And the question in that scene is whether Fadel can trust Style to really be working on something for their future that Style can't share yet, it's not whether Style loves him. So yeah. I feel like the dialogue about the percentages would have been a much cleaner parallel/callback if it had been about Fadel trusting Style, not about Fadel loving Style. Because we all, including Style, know that Fadel has always loved Style. He just didn't always trust him. But now he does. 100%. Style once decided "One day, I'll be your 100%" and now he is. They celebrate that by making out some more.

When they part again, Style tells Fadel "You know what? Having you is worth more than winning that car" and I'm filled with satisfaction upon hearing that, because I said more or less exactly the same thing three episodes ago in my ep9 meta:

[I]t's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. [...] [A]s of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point [...]. Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Now please forgive me if I skip the rest of the love scene, but I do want to get this post done before the end of the month, if possible. I think the main take-away is that now they both very much want each other and are very much into it, with nothing holding either one of them back.

No. 14: Driving Into the Sunset

Of course their last scene would be of them driving into the (metaphorical) sunset together in Kant's car that Style has finally won. Fadel and Style check in with Kant and Bison in Iceland. After the call, Fadel asks if Style would also like to go on a trip. Obviously Style wants to. "I usually travel with my Dad. Never done it with my boyfriend before," Style says, at which point, upon me showing my language buddy and Thai language consultant this scene, he goes "...the kidnapping, though?" and I break into laughter, because my friend is right. Yeah, Style, what do you mean you've never gone on a trip with your boyfriend? *gestures at episodes 8 and 9* Right, wots all this then?

I mean, technically you could argue that during that time Fadel wasn't actually Style's boyfriend, but let's be real, Style never got that memo. Or rather he went I recognize that the Council has made a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

Anyway, whether it'll be their first trip, their second trip, or their hundredth trip, I don't think Style will ever say no to traveling with Fadel. Fadel suggests planning a trip later and then, at the mention of Style's dad, asks how Style's dad is taking the news of Fadel being an ex-assassin and ex-prisoner. I do think Style's dad is genuinely chill with it, but once again I wish the series would have dwelled just a little bit more on the aftermath of the Lilly incident and on how it affected everyone involved. Because it was quite a traumatic and brutal incident, and it's a bit jarring how everyone is all sunshine and rainbows from one second to the next. But for the sake of this meta and the next line, I'll just assume that everyone, including Style's dad, worked through it all off-screen. Style says that his dad is totally okay with it, because "He said I need someone with a past like yours to tie me down." The Thai wording is slightly different, actually:

My dad said someone like me needs to meet someone with a history like yours. พ่อกูอ่ะ บอกว่าคนอย่างกูต้องเจอคนมีประวัติแบบมึง [pôh guu - àh • bòhk - wâa - kon - yàang - guu - dtông - jer - kon - mii - bprà-wàt - bàep - meung] my dad - [particle] • say - that - person - like - me - have to, need to - meet - person - have - history - like - you

I like that in the original phrasing it doesn't state the "to tie me down" part. The Thai line leaves it up to the viewer's interpretation as to why exactly Style would need someone with a past like Fadel's. Personally, I took it in a "Style needs someone fucked up enough to be able to stand and handle and appreciate all of Style's unhingedness". And I don't necessarily think that Fadel would actively try to tie Style down, since Style's shameless loudness and Style's ability to unabashedly be himself and say things without a filter is exactly what Fadel loves him for. I think Fadel tying Style down ("taming" him *wink wink*) happens more as a byproduct of both of them influencing each other and changing into better versions of themselves when they're together.

The words of Style's dad make Fadel laugh. Then he says: "You know, I still remember what I promised your dad before I went to jail." Style looks over to him and asks "What did you promise?" Style smiles and I see both joy as well as curiosity on his face.

I think Style knows exactly what promise Fadel is referring to, but he's dying to hear the words out loud out from Fadel's mouth. His expression is also very expectant, almost challenging when he's done speaking. The little head tilt afterwards is almost like he's saying Pray do tell. Fadel replies: "I told him I'd go talk to him after five years." As I said, I think Style knew what the promise was, but I think actually hearing Fadel say it still gives him a thrill and causes butterflies in his tummy. He looks over to Fadel in pure delight.

And I love, love, LOVE that Fadel was the one to bring it up first. Because at some point after episode 8, when there were so many references to a FadelStyle marriage and I seriously started thinking about the possibility of a canon FadelStyle wedding or at least a wedding proposal (lmao joke's on me rip), I was contemplating about who of the two would propose first and who I'd prefer to do so. And I thought Style proposing would fit with his personality, especially since he himself said "I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me." It seemed fit that the series would end with Style doing exactly just that. But then I contemplated some more and thought, actually, I would love it if Fadel was the one to propose. Because in the series it's always Style who is chasing Fadel, it's always Style proving over and over again that he really wants Fadel in his life while Fadel spends the majority of the series pushing Style away (and Fadel does it again even in the finale when he's mad at Style during year 4!). And I thought that it would probably mean the world to Style if Fadel proposed. Because it would showcase that Fadel wants Style in his life just as much as Style wants Fadel in his life. It would show Style that the feeling is mutual, that Fadel wants it for himself, too. That a marriage isn't something Fadel agreed to just because Style asked for it or talked him into it or anything like that. Fadel proposing would show Style that Fadel is choosing Style out of his own free will the way Style has been choosing Fadel over and over again. I'm once again reminded of @braceletofteeth's tags on this post:

#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else

Fadel asking for Style's hand in marriage, Fadel marrying Style would be Fadel claiming Style, it would be Fadel making an announcement to the world that Style is his and his alone. It would be Fadel choosing Style and Style would even have a ring to prove it. To prove that he is Fadel's. To prove that Fadel is his. I just thought Fadel being the one to propose would mean the world to Style. And judging by the joy in Style's face in the above gif, it absolutely does mean the world to him. That Fadel is the one to bring up the prospect of marriage.

Style asks if Fadel is serious and Fadel says yes, he is, but that he wants to have the chat only once the restaurant is up and running again (at least that's how I interpreted this statement). Style says "No need to hurry." He most definitely wants to marry Fadel one day, but I think he's got a point with this. After all, it's only now that they can finally start dating "properly", can finally experience the couple life with both of them out of prison, all cards out in the open, both parties trusting and loving each other mutually, and most importantly, without fearing for their lives. "No need to push yourself. After everything that we've been through, still staying together is already beyond anything we expected." Their relationship really is chill the way it is, there is no need to rush anything. They can get married when they both feel the time is right for it. I think that's what Style is getting at here. Fadel agrees. Then he says "I thought I'd die alone." Style knows that well. They discussed this last episode by the gravestone. And back then, Style had already announced that he wouldn't let Fadel get lonely in death. Now he says: "We'll die one day, but we'll die together of old age." They're gonna have that old man yaoi future together.

Fadel laughs, claims Style is cheesy, but still plants a big kiss on Style's lips. Uhhhh, Fadel, so what about the lecture you gave Style about safe driving the first time you guys met? All of that goes right out of the window as Style and Fadel continue to plant kisses on each other. How's that for character growth?

And off they drive into the night. Style's got both the car of his dreams as well as the man of his dreams. What more could Style want?

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

[ghostsforghosts]

The Start of a Courtship

(NOTE: This is the second part of a COD Regency AU, the first part is here.) This took longer than I had expected, oof. But it is finally written, so I can't complain. Anyways, like last time, Reader is male. Summary: It's time for the first ball of the season and this time, Susannah has a suitor to impress. Meanwhile, Lord Riley is getting closer to you, wanting your presence beside him. Word Count: 1,899

You resisted the urge to fiddle with your gloves, waiting in the main foyer for Susannah.

She was taking longer than you expected to get ready, but perhaps that was to be expected. She had accepted the deal Lord Riley had made and thus for this deal to work, she had to pretend to impress him so well that he'd want to start courting her. This was not only because she had to fool the ton, but she also had to fool your mother.

"One might think you're the one who had to impress suitors," Mama said, her voice biting as she stared at you being fidgety. She slapped your hands down until they stopped fiddling with your gloves, her hands not being kind to you in her actions. "Stop it. You're the man of the house, the Baron. You can't go acting like you're a child who has no clue what you're doing."

You nodded in agreement, deciding to tightly clasp your hands behind your back so you no longer fiddle with the gloves. The seconds seemed to tick slowly, your impatience growing as you all waited for Susannah.

Susannah finally came down the stairs, wearing this gorgeous red-lilac gown adorned with gold beads, her gloves matching the gown. Around her neck was a gold necklace that surely must've cost more than anything you were wearing, Susannah having chosen something that was an eye-catcher to draw Lord Riley in.

You had been conversing with the lord for the past week via letters and learned red and lilac were his favorite colors, so you had been sure to tell Susannah so she could buy a dress Lord Riley would love. You had to sell this ruse, for it to work, which meant she had to make his breath hitch.

A small red rose was clipped to the breast of your tailcoat, as you had been unable to resist adding one of Lord Riley's colors to your outfit.

Mama looked at Susannah with pride, her smile genuine when it came to her daughters. "Look at you, a gem in the making. All the lords will be fawning over you," she said, helping Susannah down the last few steps.

"Lord {Last Name}, the carriage is ready for you," the footman of the carriage said, having come inside to tell you.

"Shall we?" You asked your family, gesturing for them to lead. You stepped aside so your mother could lead Susannah outside.

You were the last one out of the house, the footmen closing the doors behind you. Walking to the carriage, you tried to steel your nerves, hoping this ruse worked.

The journey to the ball was silent, with no one wanting to talk and break it by saying something potentially awkward. Even your mother ignored Susannah's fidgeting so she didn't have to be the first one to speak.

All too soon, the carriage stopped at the manor hosting the ball and you got out with your family following.

Since you were the man of the house, you looped your arm with Susannah's, leading her up the steps and inside the manor. You followed the procession of guests who had come just a few moments before your family did, following them to the ballroom.

Susannah had done so well dressing up nicely that when you two entered, all eyes were on her. She didn't buckle under all the attention, keeping her head high like she wasn't internally screaming with nerves.

It helped that you led her around like you had so much experience showing off your debutante sister. You made your way to the king and the queen were lounging around, waiting in line with Susannah to greet the pair of royals.

The line went quickly and when you two finished greeting the royals, you let her mingle. You didn't go far, knowing that suitors would soon flock to her and you didn't want her to become overwhelmed.

You watched on, watching her talk to her friends while sometimes engaging in conversations with suitors. You saw that your mother was pleased, her eyes twinkling as she watched Susannah as well.

The man you were waiting for arrived, Lord Riley's cane clacking against the ballroom floor being heard before you saw him. All eyes turned onto him, seeing him walk inside the ballroom with his head held high.

He was wearing your favorite color and he looked so handsome in it, your breath catching in your throat as he walked towards the king and queen with a determined stride. With him needing to greet the royals first, it gave you time to walk over to Susannah and wait for him to come to her when he was done.

Your heart was fluttering and you had to remind yourself that Lord Riley was here for your sister, not you. Or well, he was pretending to be here for your sister.

Lord Riley finished greeting the royals and immediately turned towards where you and Susannah were just milling about, waiting for him. His strides remained confident as he walked over, giving a subtle glance over at you and Susannah.

You were pleased when he seemed to have a sparkle in his eye when he caught the red rose attached to the breast of your tailcoat. He seemed to like it very much, exactly as you had wanted him to.

"Lord {Last Name}, Miss {Last Name}, good evening to you both." Lord Riley greeted you two, bowing to you both as he did so.

"My Lord," you and Susannah both replied, bowing as well.

Lord Riley's brown eyes lingered on you briefly before turning to Susannah. "M'lady, you are looking marvelous tonight," he murmured, sounding sincere as he took her gloved hand and placed a kiss on it.

You had the strangest need for him to kiss your hand like he had hers. You wanted his attention, despite how improper it would be to have it during the ball.

Susannah grew flustered at the compliment and hastily searched for a compliment to give to the lord, complimenting his cane. The conversation was a little awkward, but she was handling it wonderfully.

You kept standing by your sister's side until Lord Riley asked her for a dance. You secretly wished you could dance with him, but you settled for watching him dance with Susannah.

Even with his limp, Lord Riley was dancing gracefully, leading Susannah well through the dance as the music played. Each step was a brushstroke to a larger masterpiece, one that played out through your eyes in real-time.

They were standing at a respectable distance as they danced, but each dance was always intimate in its own way. The eye contact that was held, the gentle grips of each other's hands, and their respective touches on each other's bodies (hers on his shoulders and his on her waist). You knew from experience of dancing with other ladies that he could see the subtle flecks in her iris, he could see her makeup up close and personal.

God, you wished you could see the flecks of color in his eyes, hold his hand and shoulder. He was a masterpiece, but one that was out of reach for you to see.

The dance, finally, ended and they pulled away.

Susannah got pulled into another dance with another lord, but as if they had thought of how to pull this ruse off together, none of her other dances had the same chemistry as hers and Lord Riley's did. Everyone who wasn't dancing was quickly murmuring about how well Susannah and Lord Riley clicked, how it was like sparks had ignited as soon they had met.

You were too busy watching your mother brag to her friends about her daughter managing to catch the eye of an earl to notice Lord Riley sliding up to you and taking in the image of you.

"Are you wishing that I had danced with you?" he asked, his voice a low murmur which quickly made you aware of his presence beside you. He stared at you beneath hooded eyes, his gaze steady as you turned to face him.

"Is it wrong of me to indeed wish we had danced together?" you asked in return, your hands feeling sweaty beneath your gloves as you stared into his eyes.

It felt wrong to even admit that you had wished to dance with him, but at this moment, you felt so safe with him. You felt like you could say anything and he wouldn't judge you.

Lord Riley's face brightened as his lips pulled into a smile, making his scarred face look more handsome. "I too wish we could've danced," he admitted freely once he made sure no one else was nearby. His lips parted as he continued to stare at you. "Forgive me for being so bold, but you draw me in like no other. It was very hard to keep my eyes on your sister while dancing when all they wanted was to look upon you."

Your heart skipped a beat and you had to hide a smile, knowing that you'd be beaming too much that others would become curious. You couldn't believe your ears, but perhaps you shouldn't have been surprised.

You hadn't just taken up the offer of Lord Riley being Susannah's suitor, but also the offer of you two being... friends. You had bonded over your mutual attraction to men and he had often written about his desires for you in the letters you two exchanged.

You weren't in the place to express your desires for him yet, but you had let him know that his doing so wasn't unwelcoming for you.

You wetted your dry lips with your tongue, trying to wet your dry mouth. "I draw you in?" you asked, unable to help yourself from wanting to know more.

"I long to be beside you exactly as I am now, the two of us so close," Lord Riley answered, his free hand that wasn't holding his cane twitching with the need to touch you. He groaned softly, forcing himself to place his hand behind his back. "If we were in my manor, I wouldn't hesitate to draw you closer to me. To give you the dance we both wish to have."

"Perhaps one day," you said too quickly for your liking. Your heart was pounding in your chest, a warmth filling your body as you thought about the two of you dancing with no eyes upon you two. "Perhaps I could come over one day and we can have that dance."

"I'd love that."

The rest of the ball wasn't as exciting as the beginning of it was and you could tell your family were slowly starting to get tired, especially Susannah who had been dancing with lords left and right for most of the night. You had stayed next to Lord Riley for most of it and so you bid him goodnight, giving him one last look before going to gather your siblings and mother.

As all of you got into your carriage and left the ball, you couldn't help but think about the next time you could meet Lord Riley. You hoped it be somewhere more private, so you two could touch each other freely.

You could only hope this arrangement wasn't found out. It'd be a shame to never see Lord Riley again.

Flower banner made by @/dollywons and reblog & mdni dividers made by @/cafekitsune

Requests are open!

[lightlycareless]

omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos 🥺 We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all 😅 And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime 🥺 he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit

Heya anon!!

I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol

I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first 😅 oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...

Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean 😏I've had this in my mind so... yeah 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')

Happy reading!

As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didn’t rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zen’in, and keep it a secret, it wouldn’t take long before the guilt in each other’s mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.

“Where—Where does this accusation even come from?!” You gasp, blood turning cold at the implication—at the notion of the truth. “Do you know the gravity of such words?!”

“Better than you of the act, it seems.” Another accuses. “We were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!”

“I—I won’t tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!” you cry. “Nor will Naoya for that matter!”

But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.

A supposed act of mercy.

He shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, should’ve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Toji—the man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?

But he didn’t, he allowed you to go to Toji—no, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.

Consequences he did not like, not one bit—because it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Toji’s child, and not his.

And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.

Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.

He loved you, he really did—Naoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone else…

But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldn’t take it anymore.

And thus….

“…Naoya?”

“This marriage was broken before it even started.” Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. “My family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.”

“What—what are you even saying?” you breathe. “What do you mean by—by differently?”

And… where does everything you lived with him stand?

The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings he’d whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that compares…

And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this way—loved— and would do everything in the world to make happy…

Was it… all … a lie?

All for… nothing?

Or were you the only one that actually believed the other’s words?

“I cannot look past these transgressions.” Naoya continues. “You’ve left me no choice.”

“But you—you made me do this!” you gasp. “I never—I never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you!  How could you—how could you abandon me after all we’ve gone through together?!”

Naoya doesn’t say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desired—banish you from the estate.

Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldn’t be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didn’t even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your own—alone, pregnant.

Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that you’d bring upon their name was one the Zen’in didn’t not waste time to remind them of—at the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that you’ve succumbed to such foul thing.

And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your account—but most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husband’s indifference inflicted on it.

The pain you couldn’t even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.

The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.

Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but you’re not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.

Naoya’s ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zen’in.

You remember a time when any kind of ring would’ve been enough for you to marry him. You didn’t need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.

That’s nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.

It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring… well, had dubious origins.

When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water…?

Many years—it had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, he’s been the one that took care of you.

You just had to say the word and he’d disappear all of your worries—even from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.

It was a happy life you eventually considered for your child—imagining how happy they’d grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what they’ll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.

A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.

…

Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?

Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?

There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husband…

Maybe ex-husband, by this point.

All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.

The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.

And yet… you’ve never felt so alone.

Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you would’ve wanted.

Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when it’s been months since… that.

But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant women—they’re supposed to be at home, some would say, you didn’t care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.

As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and that’s without considering the medical bills you’re struggling to pay as well.

But if that wasn’t enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.

You’re not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisition—all cash—of the small house you were living in.

From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.

Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.

However, what you want isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand who’d be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!

And you’d get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you could’ve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.

“Get—get away from me!” you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strength— but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.

“Y/N—” he breathes, somewhat amused that you’d been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.

“What are you even doing here?!” you gasp. “No—that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to see you! I’m not going back!”

“I’m not here to take you back” He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothes—with this sight, he knows he can’t take you back.

“Then—then why are you here, Toji?”

Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.

He wasn’t there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.

Toji would’ve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasn’t of his making.

For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.

And the baby… well, he won’t deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from his—with you as his mother, it couldn’t be any other way.

Or so he believed.

Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.

Toji’s slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousin’s annoying voice—there were moments where he imagined how delightful it must’ve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoya’s; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didn’t deserve you.

But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.

Not like now, gone from Naoya’s side.

In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husband’s idiocies.

Nothing.

And no one had seen you either.

Or more like didn’t want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.

At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and he’d get the same answer.

The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomach…

And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.

“Naoya—Where is Y/N?!” Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. “Do not run away, coward! Answer me!”

“She’s—she’s not here anymore.” Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesn’t need to be reminded the obvious.

“Where. Is. She.” He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. “What have you done to her?!”

“What—what needed to be done!” Naoya gasps. “I—I couldn’t allow it!”

Toji doesn’t remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her own—only that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.

No. It couldn’t be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.

Nonetheless Toji didn’t bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldn’t even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.

It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didn’t fit to do the job—and such, here he is now.

“I want—needed to see you.” Toji takes a step closer.

“Get—get away from me.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“You were fine doing that before—what’s so different from now?” You spat.

“This is different, Y/N. You’re alone—and you need me.”

“I’m not alone—I don’t need you.” You gasp. “Get away from me or I’ll—I’ll call the police!.”

“If you don’t need me, then the baby does.”

It’s like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.

Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.

But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.

“Get— get away from me…!” you’d say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesn’t fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m not leaving” Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesn’t allow it. “You can struggle all you want, but I’m not leaving you on your own—”

“What difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!” you breathe, Toji’s eyes widen—he did not know that; his fury for the Zen’in grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. “They don’t care if I die on the street!”

“I know.” He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.

“And I—And I tried my best to—to move on, but I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sob. “I’m so alone, and scared, and—and ashamed! I don’t want to live like this anymore!! I don’t want to die!”

“…I know.”

“Why—why is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was for—was for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I just—I just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!

But then he—he tossed me away, at one thing he didn’t like, he acted like I didn’t even matter! He didn’t even put up a fight to defend me! he just—he just let them hurt me, like what we had was—a lie!

 Did he never—did he even love me?”

Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoya’s betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.

And all because of something you didn’t even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoya’s mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.

He wanted to do it; you know?

He wanted to go back there and murder them for all they’d done against you.

But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is right—what was needed.

If Naoya wasn’t to step up and be a man, then he would.

Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.

Things your husband, could simply not—but he… he’d do it in a heartbeat.

“I promise you.” Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

 “I swear, Y/N— I will not let my family do the same things they’ve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.”

And unlike your husband, he means it.

Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.

Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...

agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!

Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!

Take care, and see you soon! ❤️❤️

[oneofthosebells]

Thinking about ordinary.

Particularly in the context of 'Wille will never be able to lead an ordinary/normal life' (true) 'and therefore the ending doesn't work because abdicating doesn't actually solve his problems' (oof...I see where you're coming from but I've got to strongly disagree).

[Yes, I know it's not technically abdication, it's just a convenient shorthand!]

Wille will never be able to lead an ordinary life if by ordinary you mean a life like Simon would have led if they'd never met. He'll always be the son of a monarch, he'll always have been famous since birth, he'll always be ridiculously wealthy and privileged. But would he eventually be able to lead an 'ordinary' life by the standards of any privileged trust fund baby whose parent is a major public figure? Yeah, I think so.

There's a world of difference between being famous/wealthy/privileged but able to choose how to live your life - including the ability to choose a very private life if you want one - and being the literal head of state with absolutely no choice in the matter.

And yeah, I'm thinking about this because of all the footage of Harry and Meghan and their slightly odd pseudo-royal tour on the news. Which isn't a dig at H&M, I have no strong feelings about them one way or the other, but I've seen them used as a stick to beat the YR ending with ('it'll never work, look at Harry and Meghan'!). But Wille and Simon aren't Harry and Meghan.

And I don't just mean because they're fictional and H&M aren't, though actually you know what, that's important - it means that if I want to headcanon they can lead a fairly normal life once Wille's out of the line of succession then I can, nothing's stopping me. But also I cannot see Wilmon ever choosing to stay in the limelight by doing a tell-all Oprah interview, or a book or a podcast or a documentary, and I definitely can't see them doing a semi-royal tour where cameras follow them everywhere and where they sit in chairs(/thrones) and look awkward while people perform traditional dances for them. (Again, no shade! The circumstances and the people are very different, that's my point.)

I could see Wille going into academia or writing books about poetry, or maybe he owns a horse sanctuary and gets Sara to run it, or he co-owns a restaurant with Felice. Or all of the above, why not. He probably can't ever go and get a 'normal' job, but he won't need one - he'd have plenty of money to live on if he's living a fairly humble, non-extravagant lifestyle, and again, he's fictional, I can believe he'd happily do that with Simon if I want to.

Maybe they'd live abroad for a while to escape the attention - because with the best will in the world, the Scandinavian monarchies aren't worldwide famous in the way Diana and her children are, and Wille's video/speech/abdication would be a five minute wonder and probably quickly forgotten outside Sweden.

This is getting longer than I meant it to so I'll leave it there without going into Simon and how he fits into it all, because that's another three thousand words lol. Maybe I'll do a part 2. 😂

[whoredyceps]

"OH LOVER BOY!" || 28 Days of Love: A Valentine's Challenge + Series

day eighteen: a forgotten date

ᰔ pairing: din djarin x reader

ᰔ summary: the bounty hunter is good on his word— on his own terms. you try to stop holding out hope, but that's easier said than done.

ᰔ author's note: din babe please don't go be a space cowboy i need you too bad 😮‍💨 anyways this took a bit longer to write because SOMEONE (read: pedro) is out here doing his job and keeping us well fed. oof. big weekend for us.

ᰔ content warning: 18+ /// MDNI!!!! slight slight smut mention, alcohol consumption, drunk!reader, hurt/little comfort. no beta— we die like men

The cantina was alive and well, patrons from all walks of life gathered to enjoy the festivities of the night. A jaunty little tune filled the air as a band played in the corner.

You glanced over your shoulder at the sound of the door 'woosh'-ing open. Your shoulders sunk when you realized it was another unassuming patron. Before you focused on them for too long, you turned back to your drink.

'This is so stupid,' you thought to yourself. 'He's not going to come. What is Chaos was I thinking?'

As each patron entered, you felt your hope sink deeper and deeper into your stomach. It wasn't much help that you had ordered a second drink, then a third.

You waited for hours. Hours before you finally pulled yourself away from the table. As your feet landed on the floor, the scene before you swayed, your head light and void of your usual clear judgement.

"You alright there?" An Octolan asked as you took tentative steps towards the door. All you mustered was a nod before you managed to find the exit.

No one seemed phased by your miscalculated steps, a frequent sight to be seen around the cantina. You ignored each glance and kept your head somewhat low— All you needed was the ability to not run into debris in front of you.

Easier said than done. You closed your eyes for only a moment, the loud noise of a bang nearby disoriented you. One slight sway and you went tumbling over a cargo box.

You laid in the mud, a soft groan from your lips. Heartbroken, drunk, and covered in mud. Just how you wanted today to go. From the moment your eyes opened, you held this childlike hope in your heart that he would come. You knew better than to hold it so close, but there it sat, a kindled fire in your chest.

In the back of your mind, what logic you had held on to prattled on and on about what would happen. The Mandalorian was a bounty hunter, and a very busy one at that. Just because he promised to come back didn't mean he meant it. There was no price, no credits you offered that guaranteed that he would come back.

"Need some help?"

You hadn't realized you had closed your eyes until you felt a looming presence over you. With a deep sigh, you shook your head. Truth be told, you had no desire to move. With the ache in your chest, it felt fitting to lie in the mud, drunk and with a wounded heart.

"You've got mud in your hair. We both know how you feel about that."

That voice.

Your eyes popped open, only to be met with the Mandalorian stood over you. A rush of emotions, relief and anger swelled in you as your vision focused on him. He was here, as you had hoped. Yet he had to arrive while you were six drinks deep and covered in slop.

"You came. I, what are you..."

Fuck. You even sounded drunk. Before you were able to get another word out, strong hands grabbed your sides and lifted you off the ground. You held onto his arms, his armored plates cool to the touch.

"I told you I'd come back. I always keep my promises to you," Din said. He kept a hand on your side as you stood up, the other swiped some of the mud off of your clothes.

"Couldn't have come before I decided to wallow?" You muttered under your breath. The anger that had boiled inside of you was left at the wayside, down to a simmer that settled under your skin.

The Mandalorian was right. He did keep his promises to you, even if they weren't in the ways you wanted. The hardest pill to swallow was the fact that he did his best, but you wanted more. It was selfish, but you wanted all of him. It took everything in you to not hit his chest and beg him to stay. Beg him to choose you and settle into a quiet life.

That wasn't him. If it was, he would have chosen you the first time. Maybe even the second, but he chose to leave. He chose to take those bounties and promise to return. What good was a promise?

"Let's get you home." You didn't protest as he led you back to your abode. His stayed at your side, an anchor as you pushed through your drunken haze.

Once inside, you abandoned the bounty hunter to use the restroom. You left without a word; he had been in your home enough to settle without you. As you cleaned yourself up, you looked in the mirror. Of course there were tears in your eyes. Just what you needed right now.

After a while, there was a slight knock at the door. You changed the last of your clothes before you opened it slightly.

"What, Mando?" You held onto the door, slight hope that you were still able to hold yourself up right. It was sobering, the Mandalorian's presence in front of you.

"You were taking a while. Got worried you were hurt."

You rolled your eyes, a bitter laugh bubbled out of you.

"Like you're the one who should be talking about taking a while," you huffed. "I'm fine."

There was a beat of silence between the two of you. The bounty hunter finally spoke up.

"It was the Crest. I was tailed by—"

You stopped him, a hand held up.

"It's always something. You're getting tailed, or the Child is sleeping— you always give me an excuse, Mando," you argued. "I don't want an excuse. I want a reason. A real reason."

The bounty hunter gave a slight nod of the helmet. You were right, he owed you that much. Din took in a deep breath before he spoke.

"I put off coming in hopes that I wouldn't see you again."

If you hadn't known better, you would have left it at that. Your heart would be shattered and you'd be chasing him out, calling him every bad name in the book.

Instead, you waited. Your expression urged him to continue before you said something he didn't want to hear.

"Every time I see you, it gets harder to leave. I, I get this idea in my head that I don't have to walk out of the door," he explained. "I can take off this cursed beskar, and not look back. When I'm with you, it's hard to look forward and keep towards my goal."

You took a step closer to him, a hand on his bicep once you were close enough.

"I want you to stay, Mando. Take off the beskar, please. Stay," you practically begged. "I can take care of you. I have enough credits for us to be okay. It's not a lavish life, but I can take care of you."

"It's not the credits, or being taken care of," he sighed. "What it is— it's beyond the simplicity of what we could have."

You thought you had felt enough heartbreak for the night, but there wasn't a limit when it came to the bounty hunter. That logical part of you knew you had been right. Whether the Mandalorian wanted to stay here or not was never the issue.

What you loved about him was also his catalyst. The bounty hunter lived and died by his honor, what he had promised his people so long ago. As badly as you wanted him to change, wanted him to find a new path, it wasn't going to happen. His dedication was fierce, even as it clawed at him and dragged him into the depths of Chaos.

"Will you at least stay the night? Please," you asked. "Just tonight."

There was no point, dragging it all out. It was a fight you had before, and you were sure it was a fight you'd have again. Maybe it was the alcohol, but something in you had subdued for the time being. The fact that the bounty hunter had even shown up at all was enough right now.

The Mandalorian tipped his helmet. You took his hand and led him to your bedroom. As promised a long time ago, you covered your eyes with a silk slip you kept just for his visits and turned all the lights off.

Without another word, you found yourself lost in his touch. You didn't know his name or his face, but you had come to recognize his voice, the way he said your name. His hands were familiar on your body, his cock buried deep inside you as if it had always belonged there. Everything about him had become a sort of home to you, this comfort you chased time and time again.

When you woke the next morning, the bed was empty. You didn't bother to call for the bounty hunter, or grab for the note he left by the bed. You already knew what it said. Another day, another time, a promise that he'll show up on time.

Maybe one day you'd stop believing the lie.

[islayhawkin]

A gentle hand

john price x f!reader

Summary: you take care of John after he comes home tired and bruised

A/N: I just want to take care of him ahhhh probably unrealistic but idk a girl can dream

Fluff

The click of the key in the door could be heard throughout your quiet home. You were on your feet in a matter of seconds.

John entered with a heavy bag slung over his shoulder and still in full camo gear. Through the darkness from outside, his form appeared scarily big in the doorframe. He only had time to throw the bag on the floor before you crashed into him. Your cheek pressed against his chest and arms squeezing him tight. He made a small oof but immediately engulfed you in his grip.

"I missed you too." he muttered with a slight chuckle.

You stayed in that position for a few moments. Basking in each other's presence. John breathed out heavily.

You loosened yourself slightly from him and instead raised your hands to cup his cheeks. His beard was longer than usual but tickled your palm in a familiar way. Your brows pulled together in concern at a scratch on his temple.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

John almost laughed. Of course something happened. It was the whole point of the mission to make something happen. You looked at him with such pure concern that he wondered how he deserved you. He slightly bowed his head down, making him look smaller than he was.

"I'm fine. Just the usual. Nothing major" he spoke softly.

You brushed gently through his hair. "Good. I'll take a look at that scratch though." It was almost a whisper. Your voice so delicate as if he could break in your arms.

"Yes ma'am."

Dark circles made his blue eyes stand out in the dim light. There was that worry line between his brows, which took forever to disappear whenever he got home. A small cut on his lip. Dirt in his beard. You couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Your beard needs shaving again." You observed.

He chuckled and ran a hand over his chin. "I know, has gotten rather long hasn't it?"

John reluctantly untangled himself from you and lifted his bag into your shared bedroom to unpack. He unclasped the straps of his tactical vest and you helped him with one on the back. You observed how exhausted he was in the way he moved more sluggishly.

"Are the others fine?" You unpacked some stuff from his bag absently. You threw loads of used underwear and dirty shirts in the laundry basket. You'd have to make an extra wash for his clothes tomorrow.

He put his tactical gear in a grawer. "They're still kickin'. Though Kyle got hung from the chopper upside down. Left him quite shaken, I believe."

You shook your head with a sigh. "I'm gonna check in with him soon. He went home to his mum?"

John grunted which could be interpreted in various ways but you could identify it as an affirmation. Though you weren't sure if it was meant as an answer or as a result of his struggle to pull the shirt over his head without hurting his wounds.

"Let me help..." You tugged him to you by the front of his belt and brought the fabric over the wound on his rib. It looked like a nasty blow. Your brows creased in worry.

John observed you dumbfounded as you fussed over his form and followed your instructions when you mumbled at him to lift his arms. If his men saw him now, they'd never let him live it down. He must have looked pathetic, but as long as you looked at him with such tenderness he frankly didn't care.

Before you, he had never felt a tender touch like yours. It was unfitting for him. He was a big man; a captain. All he knew was roughness. A hard pat on the back or handshake. But for you, touching him so carefully was the most natural. He still didn't comprehend that he was married to you.

"I thought you said nothing major...that looks painful." You scolded him gently. John knew you enough to know that you were just looking out for him but he still felt as if he had disappointed you.

"I didn' want to worry you luv." His accent got thicker whenever he was tired, making it sometimes even difficult for you to follow along.

"You know I worry, no matter what." You could read his body language like an open book. He shrunk in on himself whenever he felt guilty and his tired eyes didn't meet your disapproving gaze anymore. "You sure that your rib isn't harmed?"

A featherlight touch went around the wound as you inspected it, making john involuntarily shiver.

"It's fine. They checked it."

You hummed before grabbing a pair of sweatpants for him. "I'll get the first aid kit."

John had changed by the time you got back and spread the supplies out on the bed. A wet cloth in one hand, the other placed delicately on his skin.

"How did you get that?"

He leaned his head back and sighed. "Hand to hand combat."

You wiped the wound clean. Some dried blood was around it, and a purple bruise was already building under his skin. You felt his muscles shift beneath your fingers and his chest moved with a deep inhale.

You glanced up at him through your lashes. "Do you need to sit down?"

"Darling m' good. Just tired. Been on my feet for ages." The reassuring smile made his eyes crinkle.

"Sit down then..." You gushed him onto the bed before stepping in between his legs and continuing your work.

John observed your concentrated expression with adoration. "I love when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Take care of me. I couldn't imagine a better welcome to come home to."

You stilled your movements momentarily as a light blush spread over your cheeks. "Well, I'm glad you like it."

A sudden tightness constricted his throat. The word like didn't capture the way he felt. Not even slightly. He thought about these moments when he was away a lot. Laying on the floor, wishing he'd be home with you, hoping he'd see you again, praying that you were doing okay. When he first met you he finally felt like his life had a purpose. All those years in training, going through hell and back in the military. He did it all to be able to protect you; serve you. Bloody hell what was he thinking. Soap was right: he really was whipped, even after all these years. The time apart when he was on a mission only seemed to worsen it.

He didn't say any of that. You could only see a small pull of his lips from the outside but you learned to interpret his actions as words.

To lighten the mood you prodded against his belly. "If I want to do a good job I'll need to put some meat back on those bones."

He giggled. Yes, john price giggled, though it sounded rather like a low chuckle from his mouth. He caged your hands in his and pulled you to him, making you stumble out of balance slightly.

"Good thing you like me too with all your food in my belly." a grin on his face, as he looked up at you.

"Just makes you more comfy." you gave the top of his head a kiss. "Nothing could make me change my mind about you anyway."

The look he gave you resembled a happy puppy.

John didn't sleep much that night. He was on the verge of collapsing but he didn't want to take his eyes off of you in the dark of the room. He would take every moment he could get.

[bodybeyondstories]

Story prompt: a guy asks his ex to meet him to talk about the end of their relationship (the person who asked the date was cheated on by him and wants revenge), before asking for the meeting he cast a curse on him, every time he says the word "ego" his dick and balls will swell, the goal is to make him become a human parade balloon. ;)

If I were a better writer, I would've worked in a runaway growth scene triggered by someone blasting a mashup of Ego (Beyoncé) and Alter Ego (Doechii). Alas!

And PSA: Please try and talk things through with your significant other before resorting to chaos magic. You will be held responsible by municipal services.

1010 words

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"Look, I know endless apologizing and groveling won't make things right, but I'm here to listen and put aside my ego-ooof..."

"Hm? Your what?"

"Sorry, I'm just really...um...uncomfortable, in these--"

"I'd be uncomfortable too, trying to set aside an ego that big."

"I--aughhh--meant these pants. They're really--don't give me that look."

"Oh don't worry, everyone in the park has seen how great your legs are. You got your daily ego massage."

"That's not fair. What's that supposed to...to...mean...sorry is it hotter out here? It's hotter, right? I feel very..."

"Stuffy?"

"Stuffed. Look, I'm really trying to be present, but I have a little bit of a...situation developing."

"Yet another 'situation,' of course. My mistake to take up a whole five minutes of your time. I thought you were putting down the ego--"

"Ego, ego ego! Yes, I am, I just mean--AUGHHH!"

"Shit, are you okay?! What's...what's that sound."

"I think it's my zipper."

"Your...oh wow, that's a lot to stuff."

"It won't...stop...growing. I don't know what's going on."

"A lot more..."

"I feel like my pants are about to bur--wait, what?"

"...A lot more than I expected..."

"You've got to be kidding me. You did this didn't you?"

"It--it was just supposed to be a small hex."

"This doesn't look very small."

"I mean it was just supposed to manifest by a certain percentage when activated by the trigger word. So whenever someone says--"

"Don't."

"--ego."

"Fuck! There goes the zipper. Was the goal to get me in trouble for public indecency? My briefs don't have much longer, and they're already soaked through. Was that also part of the curse?"

"Not even a full curse! Just a hex. A small hex. I wanted to teach you a lesson and make your most prized possession reflect your ego."

"Fuck, that was a big one. These pants are done for, they're in tatters."

"You know I'm still learning spell craft. I just maybe got the order of operations wrong."

"Yeah, maybe. Jesus, this thing's huge. It's not even fully hard and it's pulling my underwear apart. Can you please pause whatever this is? I can't even wear normal clothes at this point."

"Ok, um, maybe I can fix this. I just updated my spellbook app, there should be a straightforward reversal incantation. What's the opposite of ego? Oh shit."

"Ughhhh. It's...it's so big...it's not stopping."

"Are you actually getting hard?"

"I can't help it. It feels so good. It reaches up to my lips, that's so hot. I wonder what I taste like."

"You actually found a way to flip this in your favor."

"I'm already a freak, thanks to you. Just let me enjoy this."

"It's...just...massive..."

"Maybe the biggest cock ever. And it's all mine."

"A little egotistical, don't you think?"

"Wait, please, stop!"

"Whoa, it's past your head now."

"I noticed. It's not...it's not stopping. Why is it not stopping?"

"I don't know! I didn't say ego--"

"Fuck, that was the biggest spurt yet. My dick is about to rival my entire body, we have to hide somewhere until I can get this down."

"I don't think we're going anywhere. Look at your balls."

"Why? I can't even see them. Help me up--oof!"

"Careful, careful, they're weighing you down. They're already the size of beanbag chairs."

"Please, babe, you have to reverse this. I don't think it's stopping!"

"Okay, okay, I'm checking the app and...well there may be not be an easy fix."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You're always doing reckless shit like this. Always half assing, not thinking anything through."

"Oh so now it's about me?"

"Yes, per usual, you have successfully managed to make it about you. Congratulations, yet again."

"God, you were always so insufferable, what was I ever thinking falling in love with a massive, throbbing--"

"Do not say it--"

"Ego!"

"Oof, I'm pinned to the ground. This thing's taller than me. This is messy even by your standards. I can feel it pulsing, it feels so good, so full."

"Messy?! I think it was pretty messy to hook up with your boyfriend's coworker at the holiday party!"

"Look, please, it was just the one time, there was the mistletoe over the doorway and we were being cute--"

"You should see how cute he is now. I don't think he'll be able to fit those cheeks through a typical doorway ever again. Oh, did that turn you on? You'll drown in your own precum, it's like a broken faucet up there. Maybe your boy toy around the corner can help clean up?"

"Please, that was just a fling, I made a mistake, I thought we already worked through that."

"Or the hunk from the moving company can help ferry you around with those balls."

"C'mon, were we even exclusive at that point?"

"Actually, they might soon be bigger than his truck. Looks like you're really enjoying this, huh? I can almost hear the eruption building."

"I, I, I can't help it. It's...too much...my dick is a monstrosity, just like my actions, I think you've made your point. C'mon, it's the size of a flagpole."

"Not quite, but almost! Maybe we can rush things a bit since you keep trying to rush closure. Maybe the whole world should see the manifestation of your egocentric--"

'Wait, no!"

"Egotistical,"

"Can we please just talk about this--"

"Ego--um--ist behavior!"

"Ooo I can feel it stretching, my balls are churning they're so full. It's...it's too much, I can't think, I'm...I'm losing control."

"Now you know how it feels. Your cockhead can probably be seen across half the city, and these balls are the size of SUVs. You want to be community dick, go ahead and flood the neighborhood with jizz."

"Can't, can't move. Gonna...cum..."

"I can already hear sirens a few blocks away. And looks like some news trucks beat them to it. We're gonna put on a show. So everyone can see how big that ego really is."

[bluebudgie]

Alright peeps. Obligatory first impression post. Not spoiler free this time.

Tl;dr having a really really good time.

Details:

Oof I'll try to keep this as short as possible (not short). And I'll try not to make it too much of a SotO comparison fest.

Maps

Let's start with the obvious one. And probably the longest one. The two new maps. I love both of them. Absolutely beautifully refreshing maps.

Lowland Shore is so rich both in layout and activities. It feels so full of life (dare I say one of the first maps in a while that feels genuinely alive), it's gorgeous to look at and really fun to explore. I got some Grothmar Valley vibes from this one in terms of how busy the map feels. Fun events and mini games at every corner, all packaged in a beautiful landscape. Also my jaw literally dropped when I dove into the bee cave lol.

Janthir Syntri (sick name, idk if syntri means anything but I love how it's written) feels a little less unique in terms of layout but it nails the atmosphere. The coast looks amazing and I adore the snippets of lore scattered all around the map. I've been absorbing those journal pages. This map feels kinda like Lake Doric if it were cool.

I cannot overstate how happy I am that these maps are largely walkable by foot, some vistas and mastery insights aside that require the warclaw. SotO's maps were by far the biggest expansion killer to me (a formal shoutout to Amnytas at this point which has officially dethroned Lake Doric as The Worst Map. That's two Lake Doric mentions in one post.)... and I'm just so happy we got really nice ones this time around. No Tangled Depths or Draconis Mons, but... really nice nonetheless.

Music

Similarly the new music is very pretty and atmospheric, but what else is new in this game. Haven't had a proper listen to the OST outside the game yet, but I do fondly remember one ambient song in particular which I'm curious to check out. I believe it plays in Janthir Syntri exclusively. Also the battle themes slap.

The masteries

Said this an earlier post already, but I like the mastery progression. It's been kind of hit or miss depending on the expansion, but this time around the unlocked masteries feel like meaningful upgrades to look forward to.

Story

Hell yea having a blast with this one. Love the Tyrian Alliance. Those meetings are absolutely hilarious. All these different people clashing and trying to stay diplomatic while wanting to tear each other apart. I like that a lot of older "loose" plot points were brought up for that occasion too.

The newly introduced characters are all really likeable and I feel like I already know more about them and their motivations now than we ever (unfortunately!) got to know about half of the SotO cast. Admittedly, we've got far fewer new characters this time, and that's probably a good thing.

I'm VERY intrigued by the whole golden city saul d'alessio white mantle direction we're moving in. As mentioned earlier, the lore journals and diaries have been CONSUMED.

Also, Rata Primus mentioned.

There's probably more to say and I'm probably forgetting half of the things I meant to say here. But this is once again getting way longer than it needs to be lol. Anyway [youtuber voice] let me know what you think in the comment section and see you next time

[sashaisready]

Chapter 4 - The Ghost

Nick Fowler x Reader

Summary: Reader is a brilliant but shy and awkward CIA employee whose work is often overlooked by her colleagues…she’s blended into the background for so long that she doesn’t think there’s any other way - even if she does have secret aspirations for another life. Unbeknownst to her - a certain blue eyed agent is very aware of her talents, even if nobody else is.

Under the Radar Masterlist

<Chapter Three - Now or Never

Warnings: mild angst, reference to violence, references to sex trafficking, reader being sassy Wordcount: 3558

You were back at work the next day with a renewed sense of optimism. Everything was turning around, maybe everything would really be okay.

And no bumping into Nick for at least a few weeks. It meant you could entirely focus on throwing yourself into your new job. No distractions. 

As you sat at your desk typing a few handover notes for the other Assistants covering your work, you saw Agent Leigh stumble in and plop himself down in his desk chair. His pathetic pout complimented a nasty looking black eye and bruised nose.

Oof. You couldn’t hold back your wince as you took him in. He caught you staring and met your gaze. You froze, unsure of what people are meant to say in situations like this. He seemed…different. His usual bravado muted. His shoulders slumped. You supposed a shiner would do that to even the biggest ego.

“Uh…Rough night?” You offered gently, hardly believing you felt something resembling sympathy towards him. Or pity at the very least.

He frowned but the effort of moving his face seemed to cause further pain. He grimaced. 

“Something like that” he muttered.

It seemed as if his big mouth had finally got him into trouble. You were only surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

“There’s a few ice packs in the cafeteria freezer” you offered, kinder than you should’ve been. “Might help the swelling. Speak to Helen the catering manager, she should be able to get them for you”.

He nodded. “Yeah…thanks”.

You went back to work thinking that was that, but he spoke again.

“Hey…” he said meekly.

You looked back at him.

“I’m sorry…for what I said yesterday…when Fowler was here…that was really rude. And not appropriate for the workplace at all. I apologise”.

You blinked in confusion. Someone could’ve offered you infinite chances to guess what he was going to say next and you never would’ve picked that.

“Oh….well….thank-you” you replied.

He looked at you pathetically. “So…uh…we cool?”

You nodded. Well…No. But you didn’t really want to drag this out any longer.

“Sure” your smile artificial.

He nodded tentatively. “So…if anyone…like…asks. I apologised, and we’re good now. Right?”

You frowned, somewhat bewildered. “Uh….yeah. Okay. But why would someone ask?”

He shrugged unconvincingly. “Just…you know. If anyone did”.

He started booting up his laptop then and it was clear the discussion was over. Palmer rounded the corner and arrived at your desk. He was smiling, looking good in a navy suit, his hair carefully styled.

“Hey…you all set?”

You smiled enthusiastically, picking up your laptop and notebook as you headed to the conference room with him. You were practically vibrating with excitement to begin.

“Yep! Ready”.

Palmer turned to look at Leigh as you passed by. He let out a low whistle once he was out of earshot.

“Jeez! What happened to him?” Laughed Palmer.

You shrugged. “Beats me. Guess he ran his mouth at the wrong person on boys’ night. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…”

You paused, cringing, remembering you were at work and realising how abrupt you’d been. It wasn’t like you to say stuff like that. 

“Sorry…that was rude” you whispered.

Palmer chuckled. “Not at all…you’re totally right. It was bound to happen sooner or later”.

You smiled back at him, grateful for his reassurance.

“You’re a bit of a dark horse, aren’t you?” He teased. 

“No! No…I don’t…I’m not-Oh god. How embarrassing” you groaned, hiding your eyes behind your hand.

Palmer just laughed kindly. “I’m just kidding. Look, Palmer is a jerk. Don’t worry, you’re not gonna offend me by rightly calling it out. Okay?”

“Okay” you nodded with a shy smile. 

As the two of you walked, you pondered Leigh’s strange question. What was he talking about exactly? Why was he so concerned with the two of you being ‘cool’? It’s not like he normally gave a shit what you thought of him. Maybe he was visited by three Christmas ghosts late last night…

Your thoughts of Leigh soon dissipated as you and Palmer got to the conference room and started to work. 

He ran you through the basics of Project Cotton which was extensive and complex. Essentially, the CIA were trying to infiltrate a worldwide sex trafficking ring which had made its way to the States. There were a lot of moving parts, but it boiled down to sifting through a mixture of reliable and less reliable sources, finding ways into suspected bases and working through the chain of suspects to find out who was at the top. Palmer would be leading the field work as Walsh had assigned, but it was your job to work with him to make sense of the intel, help plan the op and collate everything into a strategy. 

The scope was like nothing you’d ever worked on in all your time here. Walsh was really testing you. The FBI were assisting, as were multiple local law enforcement agencies, and you felt the weight of your responsibility to them all heavy on your shoulders. Palmer and the rest of the team were all counting on you - bad intel could expose Palmer as a CIA operative and blow his cover - the likely outcome would be his death if the mark discovered who he really was.

As anxious as you felt (and you were anxious) there was some excitement too. As Palmer ran through the summary you found yourself immediately brainstorming ideas, solutions - this was going to be tough…but you could do it. You knew you could. And you felt encouraged that Walsh thought you could, too. This wasn’t really about Nick. This was about you, and proving to yourself what exactly you were capable of. Proving that you could take a leap out of your comfort zone and succeed. Hell, it wouldn’t be perfect - but it didn’t need to be. It just needed to be enough. 

And if you proved Nick wrong somewhere along the way too?

Bonus. 

In a way, you should thank him, his cruelty lit a fire under you that you may never have sparked yourself. 

*

The days turned into weeks and you and Palmer had slipped into a comfortable ease with each other. You both worked hard together, but you had clicked as people too. The content you were dealing with day in day out could be hard going, so you balanced that out with joking and a little fun where you could. You didn’t feel nervous around him like you did with your other colleagues. He had a calming presence you appreciated, especially as a newbie to this. 

In short? You liked Palmer a lot. 

“Call me Joe” he had said at your second meeting.

You felt a twinge of sadness as that was exactly what Nick had said to you on the day you’d been together for the first time. But you swallowed it down. 

“Joe” you’d repeated, looking back at him with a smile. 

*

You were making good progress with the research, constantly adding to a seemingly never ending report which covered all of the bases. You were just struggling to pin down the names of those at the top of the ring, a lot of leads were dead ends and pointed to ghosts, men who seemingly didn’t exist. But you told yourself that weeding out every dud lead meant you were one step closer to nailing the real perpetrators.

One of the quirks of the case was that you had boxes and boxes of historic CIA files to sift through, looking at records of convicted criminals from decades earlier who may have had links to previous rings that Cotton may have grown from the ashes of. The files were mostly yellowed pages, thick layers of dust and occasionally indecipherable hand writing when nobody had bothered to type up the reports however many decades ago.

“It’s crazy that the CIA, with all its resources, hasn’t taken the time to digitise these” you huffed, shaking your hand out after getting yet another paper cut from one of the archaic monstrosities. 

Joe laughed. He had a sweet laugh. Slightly on the dorky side, but you liked that he laughed loudly and unashamedly - not caring what anyone thought of it.

“The CIA isn’t an endless money pit” he said kindly. Unlike Nick, he was never patronising when he explained things to you. 

“The bosses want cash to go on the actual operations, not paying a bunch of temps to scan these old perverts’ files nobody but us has ever looked at”.

“Mmm” you conceded. “But have they considered…it would be helpful for me personally”. 

Joe grinned. “No. I don’t think they have…but that’s a very persuasive argument”.

You were both sitting in the conference room Project Cotton had taken over in the last few weeks. Papers and files were sprawled across the table, endless photographs and maps were pinned to the walls as post-its and notes littered every surface.

You yawned, slamming the file shut and pulling the next box out - grabbing the letter opener to split the tape. Joe had given it to you to open the boxes. It was a thing of beauty really, a slim silver knife with a delicate ornate handle. He had unearthed it in an old storage room in the basement, no doubt an essential tool for some clerk four or five decades ago.

It has become a bit of a strange running joke for the two of you. You’d take turns moving the opener to the other’s desk when the other wasn’t looking, and it became a sort of competition to see if you could sneak it into the other’s space without them noticing.

You opened the first file from the new box, taking your time skimming the musty pages. Both of you worked in comfortable silence.  

“Anything?” Joe eventually asked as he scribbled on the whiteboard.

You pointed with the blade to the file in front of you.

“Mm. Maybe. Three of these guys were all associated with something called ‘Cosmos’ - seems to be some sort of weird cult which preached peace and love…but also the kidnapping of young women”.

Joe scoffed. “Peace and love indeed…”

You peered down at the grainy mugshot of the man in the file, snarling back at you. He looked oddly familiar…but you couldn’t place him. 

You sighed. “I feel like my eyes are gonna cross…”

“Let’s take a break. You need a breather. You work too damn hard” teased Joe.

You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“We’ll order lunch. I’m thinking Hong’s” said Joe, grabbing his phone and hurriedly closing your file. 

“Ooh. Yay! Okay”. 

The novelty of expensed lunches certainly hadn’t worn off yet.

You stole a glance at Joe as he pulled up the food menu and dutifully scrolled through the options. The more time you spent with him, the more you liked him. He was sweet. Earnest. You liked that he said exactly what he meant. He never had you guessing…unlike some people.

As time went on, you began to realise how handsome he was. He had a cute dimple on one side of his mouth. His eyes crinkled a little when he smiled. He was a big guy too….broad. Strong. Sometimes your mind wandered and you wondered what he looked like under his suit…

You liked being with him.

And you liked that he liked being with you. You weren’t an agent like him, yet he treated you like an equal - not just the grunt beneath him doing all the admin. He respected you. Appreciated you. 

The other night at dinner Annie had jokingly said she was sick of hearing about him. You hadn’t realised how much you must talk about him. 

After lunch had arrived you sat together in the conference room, eating and laughing.

“…I’m sorry, I’m just saying I wanted Tom to win once in a while. Okay? That mouse was pushing it” Joe said incredulously.

You laughed uproariously. “What?? Who sides with Tom??”

“I just mean…Jerry is mocking him…”

“Jerry is a mouse…if Tom catches him then he’s dinner! Nobody roots for Tom, Joe!” You giggled.

You laughed more as you pushed the food around your takeout container.

“I’m working for a madman…”

Joe smiled. “True. But you’re doing a great job”.

“Thanks” you giggled.

“No…I mean it. You’re a beast. The stuff you’re pulling together is so impressive. Especially for a first timer. You should be proud. I sure am”.

You blushed, surprised at his admission. “Well…thank-you Joe. That means a lot. You’ve taught me so much in such a short space of time. I’m…so grateful”.

You both stared at each other for a few seconds. The air felt different suddenly. Charged somehow. Time seemed to slow down as Joe leaned towards you, his gaze dropping to your lips. You found yourself moving in too, leaning closer and closer until-

The jarring sound of Joe’s phone vibrating on the table seemed to break the trance. You both surged backwards in your chairs, looking in opposite directions.

“I better take this…” Joe grumbled, picking up his phone and leaving the room.

You sat in the silence, struggling to grasp what had just happened. You got to your feet, going to the bathroom and splashing a bit of water on your face to calm down. Fuck. You really needed to stop doing this with colleagues…

…but Joe was just so…Joe. 

You made your way back to the conference room, sitting back down and picking at your food again as you waited for him to return. You decided you wouldn’t mention it unless he did. Nothing actually happened. No need to make it awkward when you were both working so closely.

You were fishing your chopsticks around the takeout box when you heard him come back in. 

“You ate all the wontons…jerk” you joked.

“Not me, princess” came the reply. 

You jolted in your seat, a small squeak leaving your lips. You whipped round to face him.

There he was. The ghost. You suddenly felt very nervous. 

Nick was leaning against the doorway, his short chestnut hair neatly combed. A hint of 5 o’clock shadow that wasn’t there when he left for his Op. Still handsome. Still infuriating. Those damn eyes watched you carefully as he slipped his hands into his pockets. 

“I always left the wontons for you when we ordered in. I would never leave you hanging” he smirked.

“Yeah…The only thing you were ever consistent about” you said dryly.

He laughed hollowly. “So…Project Cotton huh? Going up in the world I see” he surveyed the room, taking in all of the files and documents strewn around.

“Yeah. Walsh put me on it” you replied stoically.

He nodded. “So I hear. Guess I was wrong about that, huh?”

You glared back at him. “You were wrong about a lot of things”.

He smirked. “I probably deserve that”.

You didn’t speak. Just left his words hanging. You wanted him to sit in it. You had no desire to make this any easier for him. 

“Not gonna ask how my op went? It’s been weeks”. He asked casually, but his eyes had a slightly needy quality to them.

“Well it was fine I presume. You seem to have all your limbs intact” you deadpanned. 

He chuckled. “Just about…”

You ignored him, just taking a bite of your food.

“And how’s Palmer? Being good to you?”

“Absolutely. He’s a good boss”. 

“Huh…That surprises me”. He ticked his jaw.

You glared at him. “And why’s that?”

“Just…he seems like one to keep an eye on. That’s all”. He shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “Why? Because he doesn’t come out on your little boys’ nights?”

He chuckled again. His patronising laugh made you want to punch him in the face.

“No…actually he comes sometimes” he smirked. 

You quirked an eyebrow. That surprised you. As Joe had said that time with Leigh…it wasn’t really his scene. Still, you wouldn’t hold it against him. Everyone needs to let loose sometimes.

“Ah, Fowler. Welcome back” said Joe as he came back to the room. His voice suddenly seemed strained. His posture uncomfortable. 

Nick nodded, he also seemed somewhat tense. “Thanks Palmer. Looks like you’ve made good progress with Cotton…”

“Yup. Well it’s hard not to when you’ve got this one your team” he smiled over at you. 

You smiled back warmly. If Nick’s return had thrown you off balance, Joe was a stabilising anchor who righted you again. 

Nick smiled. “Yeah. I know the other agents are whining that the briefing reports aren’t being done to the usual standard now that their best Assistant has been poached”.

You shrugged, embarrassed at how inwardly gleeful you were at Nick’s compliment. “They’ll be fine”.

He looked back at you and you found yourself stuck in his gaze. Unable to look away as old feelings stirred. Shit. No! Be strong!

He cleared his throat abruptly. 

“Well…I better go debrief. You two have fun” Nick added sardonically as he left the room. 

Joe glared at the empty space where Nick had been standing. You saw a strange expression on his face that you hadn’t seen before. A hint of rage beneath the surface that you’d never seen a glimpse of until now. What sort of issue did those two have with each other? There certainly seemed to be a weird tension between them. 

“Anyway. Let’s get back to it” said Joe, back to his usual sunny self as if nothing had happened. 

He didn’t say anything about Nick, nor about your near kiss, he just picked up his notebook and resumed where he left off. You followed suit, but your head bubbled with unanswered questions as you pulled out your next file.

*

At the end of the day you made your way out of the building, exhausted from a full day and fantasising about a bubble bath back at home. Seeing Nick again had knocked you slightly. You knew when he left you’d have to face him again eventually, but he caught you off guard. As always.

As you strolled down the hallway to the building exit you were torn from your thoughts, quite literally, by some unseen force as you were yanked by the waist into an empty office. You let out a small shriek as your assailant spun you around and revealed himself.

“Fuck, Nick!! You trying to give me a heart attack?” You squeaked as you slugged him on the shoulder.

He grinned. “I’ve missed that fire”.

He moved to close the door.

You frowned. “I’m tired, Nick. I’ve had a long day and I want to go home. I don’t have any time for games”.

“I need to talk to you…” he sighed. 

You rolled your eyes. “Can it wait?”

He shuffled awkwardly, his cocky tone now diminishing slightly. “I just want you to be careful”.

“What?”

“With Palmer. Be careful. Alright?”

You laughed coldly. “Why? He’s a good guy.”

“Just…you’re smart. Don’t let him take advantage”.

“What does that mean?” You glared.

“Just…I don’t know. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t…I don’t know… let him take the credit for your work or anything like that. Alright? Just be careful with him. I just….I don’t trust him”.

You scoffed. “I don’t know what your beef with Joe is but you have no business butting in. I’m not interested in your masculine pissing contest. He and I have been working really well together all this time. He’s sweet, and smart, and he supports me. He actually wants me to do well and get ahead! Unlike you, he believes in me! It’s really nothing to do with you. So thank-you for your ‘advice’….but it really isn’t necessary”.

Nick frowned, raising an eyebrow. “Joe? Oh God…you like him don’t you?”

You tried to force a laugh, but it didn’t sound very convincing. “What?? No! It’s all very professional…”

Nick shook his head, tutting. “Unbelievable…”

“You can talk…” you spat. 

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t know…Ask Mace?” You narrowed your eyes. 

He laughed hollowly at that. “I knew you heard her that day in my office. Not jealous are you, princess?” The shit eating grin was back on his face. He had you now. 

You clenched your jaw, trying your best to retain your sense of calm as you felt the heat rush to your cheeks. 

“No. You can fuck whoever you like”.

He laughed again. “I’m not fucking Mace…”

“Sure…” you rolled your eyes. 

“Believe whatever you want, princess…”

You curled your hands into fists, suddenly feeling overwhelmed as all of those old feelings rose to the surface. How did he still have this hold over you? You thought you were free…

You managed to suppress it as you bit your lip and looked towards the door. 

“Can I go now or have you got another lecture for me?”

He shook his head, sighing. “Do what you want. Okay? Just…remember when I said”.

You rolled your eyes. “Tell Mace I said hi”.

You’re stormed out of the room as you shot down the hallway and left the building. Ugh. What a pig!! He could see how well you were doing and was just trying to get in your head to throw you off. He clearly didn’t liked Joe for some sort of weird male ego reason and was making it your problem. He didn’t know what he was talking about…

…right? 

Chapter 5 - Done

[grumpybunny-edith]

Gwen's Bunny HRT - Month 1 (Part 2)

I learned this trick a little while ago for smiling at the camera: just think about something that makes you laugh. I didn’t have to work very hard to find something - everything Rae had just said had left me smiling maybe too much. I turn on my camera, turn my head to show off my ever-so-slightly longer ear, and make it a point to let my teeth sit on my lip, even as my first impulse was to hide them. 

Opening the chat, I saw the last thing sent — it was a selfie from Delilah, her cheeks and chin covered in long, grayish-black fur. 

thebuildingisonfire: Decided not to shave for the last couple days. Feels good. 🔥

It looks good too. Combined with the changes to her face shape giving her more of a snout, she’s starting to look more like Rae and Ashley than Edith and I. If that’s even a rational comparison to begin with. I do my best to stop comparing myself to my friends (again) and start typing.

wen-kutesuli: Hey everyone! Rae reminded me today was my one month, so... Here’s a quick update! It looks like it got to my teeth first, which... Is what it is, but my ears started getting longer recently too! No fur or anything yet, but. Big things 🥳

Rae is quick to jump on things, responding again almost instantly. 

raeraebun: YAAAAA THAT’S MY GIRLLLLLLLL you look so good!! The first half an inch of so many more :DDD 

grumpybunny-edith: !!! That’s huge! Starting with teeth must be tough :( how’s the pain been 

wen-kutesuli: It’s been... manageable? grumpybunny-edith: oof. Good luck lol  pink-lightning: Edith, don’t. That’s wonderful news, Gwen 🩷

I can’t help but wonder what Edith meant by that. It hadn’t been easy for the last couple weeks — as it turns out, growing your teeth is at best super uncomfortable — but it had been bearable as long as I didn’t forget my painkillers. Is she just trying to scare me? Is it gonna get way worse? Or does she just have an embarrassingly low tolerance for pain? 

pink-lightning: You look happy.  pink-lightning: Have you ever sent a picture smiling before? 

I scroll up to look at the picture again at Ashley’s statement. I’m a little surprised at how much I’m smiling; I hadn’t even noticed when I took it. I’m also surprised that she’d notice something as small as how often someone smiles in pictures. I make a mental note of that, feeling embarrassment creep up about it — is it not normal to feel a little bit weird about a smile? I do my best to hide my feelings.

wen-kutesuli: I guess not lol I didn’t notice! raeraebun: You NEED to do it more. you look SO CUTEE grumpybunny-edith: fr. depriving us of that shit should count as a crime tbh  thebuildingisonfire: okay but like. Be gay do crime  raeraebun: not this crimee raeraebun: we love following the law in this specific moment grumpybunny-edith: Yeah this crime is like. Stealing from a small business  thebuildingisonfire: just on principle, omfg =_=

The chat stops for a few minutes. I’m too giddy to care much about it, pacing my room on my toes and going fast enough to feel the wind in my ears. Of course they’re happy for me, why wouldn’t they be? Their pride... kinda becomes my own. I keep jumping around, catching glimpses of myself in my mirror, and it makes me so happy. The light from outside shines through my ears like a tulle curtain, making them shine. I don’t even have to imagine I have a tail to feel this giddy about it all. I put on my favorite KKB album and hop around my carpeted floors, enjoying the simple joy of having a body becoming more like what it’s supposed to be. 

I don’t notice the next message until several minutes later, the buzzing of my phone muted by the carpet. I prance back to it only intending to play a song over again. 

thebuildingisonfire: dealing w any like, behavioral stuff? Or are we still waiting on that lol  raeraebun: I didnt realize you were taking over scheduling the sleepover, del xD thebuildingisonfire: oh no definitely not that’s still your job lmaooo thebuildingisonfire: just curious I swear

I keep hopping around my room as I try to come up with an answer. I don’t feel anything like what the information outlined, and definitely nothing that would warrant one of those sleepovers they’re always talking about. My feet are a little bit sore from all the moving, but I still have more energy to get out, so I type and jog at the same time. 

wen-kutesuli: I don’t think I’ve gotten any yet?  grumpybunny-edith: Oh my god Delilah you can’t just ask someone how horny they are pink-lightning: Yeah. Obviously that’s Edith’s job.

I drop my phone. I don’t pick it up. I’ve stopped in my tracks. Of course I know what’s coming, but it’s hard to believe it’ll happen to me. Sure it’s exciting, but I haven’t exactly had all that many... you know. It’s just hard to think about as something real, let alone something happening so soon. And, just, logistically it all seems pretty inconvenient; “Missing work for sex so often you get fired for it” seems more Delilah’s speed than it does mine, and I’m not sure I want to find out whether or not that’s correct. I shift my feet in the carpet nervously, feeling the tiny fibers through my soles. I press up onto the balls of my feet, trying to adjust to the way my feet are going to move within the next year. When I move to join my phone on the floor I push my heels down first, sitting down like a rabbit is supposed to. 

raeraebun: its not that unreasonable yall, “behavioral stuff” doesnt have to mean horny  raeraebun: its just cool to know the drugs work and that youre happy w them gwen :))  pink-lightning: And if you’re not, you can always let us know. We don’t want anyone having to go through that kind of thing alone.  grumpybunny-edith: That’s kinda the whole reason this chat exists, lol  grumpybunny-edith: Also, that’s what she said. 

I giggle for the amount of time it takes to understand what Edith meant, at which point I’m overrun with blush. I can barely fathom the idea of one of them actually wanting to... Well. “Help me” with that kind of thing. I’m well aware they do it with each other, I’ve just never been that type before? It’s like being in line for a rollercoaster you have no knowledge of beyond being able to hear the things people say once they’ve gotten off. 

pink-lightning: Seriously. I know we all only just met you in the grand scheme of things, but we are here to help in whatever capacity you want. I’m trying to build the space I would’ve needed when I was in your shoes. If there’s anything you need to talk about, please let us know. Even if it feels kinda weird.

raeraebun: absolutely!! We’re here for ya bestie <333

Ashley is so sincere it almost makes me anxious. I walk across the room, heels sinking into the carpet, and pull the packet the doctor gave me out of my desk drawer. I sit on the floor with it. 

“Descent into sexual depravity” “Unavoidable, frequent joint pain that will last for years”

“ near-constant sex drive which interferes with life at nearly every turn” 

“Irreversible”

“Loss of self”

I throw the packet to the side, my lower back numb like something was trying to burrow out of it, thrashing viciously from side to side. 

I open the chat again, staring at Ashley’s message with my phone in my hairless hands. My nails are short and fragile, not clicking against the screen as I type. 

wen-kutesuli: I’m gonna be okay, right?  grumpybunny-edith: You’re gonna be just fine 💙 pink-lightning: Absolutely. And whenever it’s not, let us know.  thebuildingisonfire: we got you  raeraebun: totally!!!

I look between my screen and the discarded packet. I feel wide awake in the sunset but crawl into bed anyway, finding comfort in the blankets over my head. I really, really consider asking for some company, but I’m not sure how much I want to be seen right now.

---

Prev - Next

[steddieficrec]

what are your top 10 favorite Steddie fics?!?!?

Oof. You have the hard questions.

(pleased to be) on the line with you by Kedreeva

(1/1 I 3,820 I Explicit)

Eddie pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it as if it can tell him what the fuck is going on right now, why Steve Harrington is at the mechanic shop, sweet talking him like a stranger at 8:03 on a Friday morning.

----

Or, the one where Eddie dials a wrong number and accidentally discovers Steve works as a phone sex operator.

don't do drunk (what you wouldn’t do sober) by starsdontsleep

(1/1 I 4,070 I Teen)

Getting drunk alone with Steve has always been a bit of a risk for Eddie. He sits closer, looks longer and flirts harder. He also makes a stupid mistake and wakes up in the morning to the harsh reality of what his drunken self had suggested to Steve.

Rebuild by rainbow_nerds

(1/1 I 7,864 I Explicit)

In 1976, when Steve Harrington was ten years old, he was cast as the lead character in Ruins of Relfonth. The film went on to become a classic of the intersection of sci-fi and fantasy genres, and Steve hated just about every second of it.

At twenty three, with no clue what he wanted from life, he decided to give acting one last shot – on a music video for a band he'd never even listened to.

get up and shake the glitter off your clothes by judasofsuburbia

(1/1 I 11,021 I Explicit)

He looks positively debauched in the mirror. There is glitter smeared all over his face. Hair standing at all angles and hickies littering his neck and chest. His hands instantly go to them, pressing into them to make sure he’s not making them up when he notices a ring on his left finger.

Eddie’s mood ring.

No fucking way.

or: the spicy six go to vegas. steve and eddie get married but they don't remember a thing. steve's convinced himself that eddie's feelings were all a drunken mistake. but were they?

the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic

(5/5 I 34,987 I Explicit)

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth.

Are You Flagging? by soidade

(17/17 I 40,991 I Explicit)

“Look, I’m just asking, okay? Not– I don't mean anything by it. But, uh.” His eyes darted back and forth, then he leaned in close to Steve. Steve had gotten used to that, kind of. The guy had no concept of personal space. “Are you flagging?” Eddie finally finished.

Steve shook his head slowly, eyes narrowed. He had no idea what that meant. He had no answer. “What?”

Eddie leaned away from Steve, facing forward again and nodding. “Okay, got it. That answers my question. Carry on.”

-------------------------------------------------

A (mostly) innocent question leads Steve Harrington on a journey of self-discovery, friendship, sex, and romance.

Not So Bad by outofmygourd

(9/9 I 43,409 I Mature)

Vecna is dead. It's the summer after the party's freshman year. Steve Harrington spends it in the Family Video Store, and Eddie Munson is spending post-graduate life bothering him. And maybe Steve isn't as bothered as he used to be.

sub-culture by palmviolet

(13/13 I 60,702 I Teen)

“Is he whining about Eddie being mean to him again?” Robin is leaning in the doorway, eating a leftover slice that’s probably cold by now. “You talk about him more than you talk about girls, Steve, it’s getting concerning. Anyone would think you had a crush.”

or, steve is pretty convinced eddie now hates him. turns out eddie has the opposite problem.

flight risk by Ayes, itskleo

(16/16 I 81,326 I Explicit)

Eddie Munson is famous for giving his bodyguards the slip. Enter Steve Harrington. Has this bratty rock star finally met a babysitter that can keep up with him?

Suspended Bridges by foresthearts

(35/35 I 243,515 I Mature)

“Steve really needed to get his stupid thing he had with Munson under control. He struggled to find a word for it. It was like an anti-crush or something. The same awareness and panic that a crush brought, but not because he had feelings for the guy. Because of the opposite. Because any time he saw Munson, his heart kicked up in fear, his breathing got shallow, his whole body started to warm. Munson made him want to turn heel and run.”

In which Steve has the opposite of the suspended bridge effect.

(Featuring omega!Steve pretending to be an alpha and alpha!Eddie silently losing his mind.)

[dreaming-marchling]

I thought about the latest episode of To Be Bonded and I would like to ask ( I did comment so this might be duplicated) but how would have Exile changed if it was placed after what you have currently written for To Be Bonded? Did you imagine that intensity in the background of Exile? It feels like Exile would have been so much worse for us readers if we had understood the magnitude of what was lost.

Wait, you're DerAdlerdesMondes??

So I guess a huge part of this answer is the idea of like baseline headcanons? Like what headcanons touch single work someone does.

For me, the idea that I've discussed in pretty much all of my multichapter SH fics with how Jace and Alec grew apart (fear of being seen too closely, relying on the bond to not have to talk, growing into shadows of what they had been) and then how they were able to reclaim the Jace that he had used to be after he no longer had the ghost of his father over his head as loud and that Alec being open about himself meant that he was also able to see Jace more clearly again - that is my baseline headcanon. That's in every SH story I write regardless of if I talk about it or not.

So I'm taking your question as "Is the parabatai bond in TBB your headcanon for all other SH stories you write?" and the answer is no.

The question that TBB is asking, for me, isn't "what if Jace and Alec got to live with a full and complete parabatai bond" - it's "what if Jace and Alec's parabatai bond was wayyyy more of a merged soul thing than everyone else's bond and they had to live like that". That's really what I set out to write with this story, a question of what if we took the bond to the furthest reaches.

This wasn't the intensity that I was thinking about in Exile really. Maybe some more of the purity of thoughts and feelings that Jace and Alec explain with the "you can look at Cat and make her laugh" thing they gave Magnus and also some of the "I don't know if I'm real if I can't feel him" thing, although I think that's considered part of a healthy parabatai bond in canon too.

If this bond was what they had in Exile then I think they would both be dead lol. The warlock was meant to keep Jace stable through the bond breaking until the shock wore off, if they had their TBB bond in Exile then all the stabilization in the world wouldn't have helped. The shock would never wear off and the warlock wouldn't be able to keep Jace in some stasis forever.

I do fully support wanting to daydream connect them though because that would have been a lot of fun for sure! They would absolutely need to sink into the bond in the way we're seeing from them currently in TBB where they're just totally merged and cycling through bodies and methods of communication with little respect for where they're "supposed" to be. That would for sure be part of their healing process. I think there would have been some wild nightmares involved too. Like imagine Jace getting to watch the Ricky nightmare??? Oof, that would be intense.

Needs to be acknowledged though: I just looked at both Exile's original document and TBB's and I started TBB two months after Exile. I was writing a big chunk of both of these at the same time so I'm sure they influenced each other with parabatai feels :)

Thank you for asking!! You always have such interesting questions that make me think and I love that!

[cutesharkstudios]

Owl House Group Chat 2

(Hexsquad) 11:07 Willow has entered

Willow: I AM SO SORRY I'M LATE! THAT TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT!

Willow: Hello?

Amity has entered

Amity: Hey Willow. No worries

Willow: Yes worries! I promised I would be off at 10 and lost track of time

Amity: It's cool, this is suppossed to be a casual thing.

Willow: Ok. Side note, what did y'all do when I was gone?

Amity: Scroll up.

Willow: Oh my

Amity: I AM GETTING HER OTTER PLUSHIES YOU SICK MINDED INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!

Willow: Ok, ok

Hunter has entered

Hunter: Hi Willow

Willow: Hi Honey

Hunter: 0//0

Amity: Cute

Willow: HUNTER I MEAN! SPELLCHECK! SORRY!

Hunter: I like that name.

Willow: Really?

Hunter: I think it's cute, like you

Willow: 0//0

Amity: oh my

Willow: Yeah I deserve that

Darius has entered

Darius: My Hunter senses were tingling

Amity: Uncle Darius?!?!

Willow: Uncle?

Amity: He babysat me a ton as a kid. He and dad claimed they hated each other, but they didn't, and he helped dad take care of me.

Darius: Speaking of him, I need some advice.

Amity: Sure

Darius: Could we do this in a seperate chat with you, me, and the twins? I'll hext you the link

Amity: sure, see ya guys

Hunter: have fun

Willow: bye

(DariusAndBlightKids)

Darius: Amity will check in soon

Amity: Hey

Ed: Hi Amity

Em: Hey Ams

Amity: So what's going on?

Ed: Darius needs our help with something wonder what

Darius: And this doesn't leave this chat, ok?

Amity: 100%

Ed: got it

Darius: Em?

Em: Sorry, had to turn off the oven for dinner. Your secret is our secret

Amity: What ya making?

Em: Centaur roast and carrots

Amity: Thanks

Darius: Okay here it goes

Darius: I want to propose to Alador

Amity: WHAT

Ed: Really?

Em: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Darius: I've drawn up the plan and will send them soon.

Amity: OMG, Darius, this is awesome.

Darius: Thanks Amity, I hope it goes well. We've really grown over the 4 years of dating, and I hope I can be a good parental figure to you and the twins

Em: You really mean it?

Darius: Yeah, I've always wanted to be a dad, and now I have the opportunity. I hope I do well.

Amity: Well you can't do any worse than you-know-who

Darius: Thanks for the support, though she didn't set a high bar

Em: She set the bar at all?

Darius: Touche

Ed: And hopefully we will be good kids. I know we're adults, so it's probably not what you imagined being a dad would be like, but we promise to be good.

Em: And we'll continue to be good siblings as well. Side note, Amity?

Amity: Yes?

Em: Now that we are at a slower time in our lives, I want to ask, are we good?

Amity: Yes, why do ask?

Ed: Well, we teased you a lot in our youth. We never meant any harm, but we realise we may have been, as much as I hate to admit it, mean to you.

Em: That was never our intention, and we're sorry if we crossed any lines

Amity: Well, the only real line crossed was with the diary and Luz. But given how much of a jerk I was back then, I kind of had it coming.

Darius: I'm just as guilty. I crossed my share of lines in my past that Alador only told me about AFTER we started dating. Oof, not my finest moments

Em: Well what happened happened. We can't change the past, but we can make a better future.

Darius: Anyways, here's the plan…….

(MEANWHILE)

Room Created: OldWitches

11:13

Raine has entered Eda has entered Lilith has entered

Eda: Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day!

Lilith: Whoa, sister, calm down, what's the occasion?

Eda: After so long of trying to get an appointment, Raine's getting their sigil removing treatment!

Lilith: Awesome. I had mine yesterday, and I gave my sigil a certain gesture before it went away.

Eda: That's my sister. So, Rainestorm, what new magic do you want to try first?

Raine: You're not going to belive this but, of all types, illusions

Eda: I take it you saw that article I sent of Goops moping the floor with Adrian?

Raine: Yep, I had no idea you could tell when someone was hiding behind and illusion. We laughed at Adrian all dang afternoon post incedent.

Lilith: I would have paid SO many snails to see that

Raine: I got the whole thing on my scroll. And backed it up on three of my personal devices.

Eda: Whatever happened to him and the other defect coven leaders?

Lilith: Trying to find them, but so far no activity.

Raine: They should be dormant for now, but the hunt is still on.

Eda: Check out this news article I found. [link]

Raine: What is it?

Lilith: It better not be one of THOSE websites again.

Eda: You'll see

4:20

Raine: EDA!

Eda: Yes?

Raine: Why did you not tell me about this wonderful thing called fanfiction? I don't even know who wrote this but, God, they have excellent potential.

Lilith: I think I know who wrote it

Raine: Who is the author?

Lilith: If you scroll all the way up, you'll see the author is AzuraFanOtter, take a wild witch guess who that is

Raine: Well no wonder Luz is getting A's in her writing classes, this is wonderful

Eda: And fitting 20 characters in one scene while giving them all ample screen time is tricky, but she made it work.

Lilith: Maybe she should write her own book. The money made from that could benefit her greatly in the future.

Eda: Indeed, though she'll probably be fine when she marries Boots, cause all the Blights are LOADED.

Lilith: Now now, keep in mind, there is a change things don't work out for them. It's not like they were made with the other in mind.

Eda: …

Raine: …

Eda: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raine: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilith: What? I'm serious.

Raine: We know, but I'll eat griffon feathers if they don't work out.

Eda: OH SHOOT! RAINE! THE TIME!

RAINE: GAH! MY TREATMENT'S IN 10! THE NEXT TIME SLOT IS A WEEK FROM NOW SO I GOTTA GO!

Raine has left

Lilith: Well, I promised Darius I'd help with a "surprise" for Alador.

Eda: Cool, have fun.

Lilith: Thank you for not making an innappropriate joke for that.

Eda: Yeah, sorry about last week's prank, didn't think it go over as bad as it did.

Lilith: No no, I should have just taken the joke.

Eda has left

Lilith has left

[destiny-in-the-universe]

RC9GN: Thoughts Post-S2 Finale

this show had no right- a cliffhanger?

I have so Many Thoughts on the would’ve-been season three and the other stuff that might have come to be (keeping my paws crossed on the idea of it coming back-)

Now, here’s another set of rambles;

It took me way too long to realize about “the cowboy” in the series- before realizing his importance, I honestly thought he was sort of like, a nudge to the creator? But no, oh my god. I’m genuinely curious on the recurring characters that are meant to be immortal, because there’s also Plop Plop, but specifically about “the Creep” - he’s a messenger, and he clearly knows more than he let’s on. We know he doesn’t really pick the next Ninja, but I feel that he also knows- somehow- who might be a good fit. Randy wasn’t chosen just because

(The outlier is Mac Antfee which… doesn’t make sense to me-? But then again it’s a cartoon- it doesn’t always need to make sense)

Another thing! I seriously wanted a bigger battle between Ghoulian/Evil Julian, the Sorcerer, and Randy- like hello? Also, just- Randy’s such a dumb kid, but to be fair, he’s also fourteen. I kind of learned to read between the lines of what the Nomicon means, though not all of it is that obscure. Randy’s just a little bit dumb /lh (although we all know that boy has ADHD-)

Anyway, back to the battle- I know it’s just a cartoon but honestly, Randy tag-teaming Evil Julian with the Sorcerer was such chef’s kiss, and holy- instead of just returning the Sorcerer into his prison, like I genuinely would’ve loved to see Randy uncovering a new power and the battle lasting longer; getting more and more intense, lowkey Randy getting cornered and then a final defeat- I know this doesn’t make sense now oof but still! I wanted more

I seriously really thought that Julian might’ve been clued in on Randy’s identity as the Ninja but ig I was wrong-

Okay, this- this is actually something I wanted to comment on;

After learning about Secrets of the 9, there’s not just one but nine other realms out there- and I don’t know about you,, but getting a chance to explore what they could’ve been would be amazing.

It’s also interesting to note that, well, we have the Norisu 9 and we don’t really know a lot about them- I’d seriously love for there to be a connection back? Nine seems to be a recurring theme, and I’m sure the logo/symbolism on Randy’s shirt also has its part to play, but anyway- this is mostly my self indulgent thoughts-

(For starters, the nine realms being trials that get harder and harder for the Ninja- like, that would be so interesting and fun and cool to mess around with; like, we have the Land of Shadows - which still has the Sorceress? Could she possibly come back? - but then we could have like, Land of the Embers, or something connected to fire- again, don’t pay me too much mind right now but still, I-

The other thing is the following: hear me out. What if the rest of the Norisu 9 are in the other realms? They’re somehow going to be influencing Randy, because I’m pretty sure he’s got to be connected to them somehow- I’ll cover this better later)

I know there’s not really much of an identity reveal with Randy, nor is it as important as it would’ve been with say, Danny Phantom- but if like, Julian or Theresa knew or somehow Debbie remembered, I think it could add a whole lot more drama. A lot more that I think could be a moving part of the show- and the other thing!

McFist and Viceroy. What’s going to become of them now that the Sorcerer has been defeated? I’d honestly still love for them to be reoccurring characters- not exactly as much foils to the Ninja anymore, but let them be kind of… allies? Or at the very least, I want someone to make the connection that the Ninja’s not literally 800 years old, that they’ve been fighting a literal high school freshman

Honestly maybe it’s just me being self indulgent with the idea of Viceroy adopting and/or lessening full on destruction of the Ninja because again, Randy’s fourteen. (He’s a literal teenager tasked with protecting a whole city from forces of evil that technically exist in another plane of existence- that’s so much for him to bear)

I want Randy to kind of reach breaking point and convince himself he’s not fit to be the Ninja, that he’s got to face off a monster or something that is too strong at first- but please, give me more scenes between the First Ninja and Randy. Giving them parallels would be so, so interesting- and maybe I just want more connections between the pair. Either the First Ninja sees himself in Randy, or- Randy’s a descendant of the Norisu 9

(The same way I’m fully convinced that Howard is a descendant of Plop Plop)

Okay, but also- I want more lore on the Norisu 9? Like, you’ve got this group of ninjas that were meant to take on the Sorcerer, and then slowly got picked off until one of them remained- who exactly were they? They definitely were a clan, and the First Ninja specifically mentions “the ultimate sacrifice” which means there was a major battle and somehow he survived- I’m going to traumatize him so much if I’m going to explore this; and also would there be creatures that are part of Japanese mythology? I honestly want to connect this idea back to the Kitsune OC I made for a previous prompt. I could use this to delve more into the relationship between “Finja” and the Kitsune- and if they knew each other in the early days

Additional Under-the-Cut Information

~ nine realms: different trials and new monsters/villains that the Ninja has to face; more specifically Randy since I imagine the other Ninjas didn’t directly have to face the Sorcerer

(possible connections to the Norisu 9, I like to think that there’s a curse but we’re getting off topic here- this is a story for another time)

~ the history behind why McFist seems to have it out for the Ninja- other than you know, being promised a superpower by the Sorcerer- based on creator details, McFist and Mac Antfee could’ve been friends?

~ other people getting possibly involved with the Ninja- leaning to it being Theresa or Julian, but Debbie remembering and/or figuring it out again could also be fun (provided she doesn’t go blabbing again-); I like to think each of them has specific qualities that would add depth to Randy- you know, if the show bothered to give him development (like Fowlham was supposed to be endgame- and Julian knows a lot more now, hello?)

~ if the Sorceress comes back- Randy and her would have to face off again, and I’m weirdly eager about that-

~ I’m going to stop here- for now. I think I might honestly write a fanfic for this? I’d draw it but since I can’t, well- this is the next best thing

- Mod Danny

[kittyball23]

Hostage (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: Branch, Poppy, and Tiny Diamond maneuver their way to the Rage Dome in hopes of rescuing Floyd

A/N: Requested by KatieShinsherpa on Wattpad :)

__________________________________________

“How’s it looking?”

Branch leaned against the tricycle (kindly loaned to them by Tiny Diamond, who sat at the little basket in front) watching as Poppy pulled out a set of binoculars from her hair and placed them at her eyes. The red pathway before them still stretched quite a distance away from the heart of the glitzy city, and its main attraction - the Rage Dome, from which many talented performers were able to walk the red carpet and sing for their many adoring fans.

Problem was, there were a couple of talentless performers who were going to take the stage that evening. And Branch and Poppy were going to do everything in their power to stop them, and save the Troll who was the secret behind that talent.

Poppy took in the scene and clicked her tongue. “Oof… no good. See for yourself.” She handed him the binoculars and he took a look, seeing many of the doll-like creatures congesting the area, and more of them who were donning the telltale black suits and dark sunglasses of bouncers.

“Security’s pretty tight,” Branch concluded.

Poppy took another look through the binoculars, and looked up the side of the Rage Dome. “You know what that means,” she said, glancing slyly at the blue Troll. “We’re scaling the walls!”

__________________________________________

It wasn’t long before Branch, Poppy, and Tiny Diamond already found themselves about halfway or so up the tall building’s side. Using special gummy-like gloves, they were easily able to stick, so the fear of falling off wasn’t an issue. Stamina, however…

Tiny Diamond, who was suddenly feeling as though he was truly living up to his namesake, huffed and puffed, his pace significantly slower than the two full-grown Trolls that were up ahead of him.

“I’m tired…” he moaned.

“It’s not much longer,” Branch responded. He was right. They’d be at the top in just a minute or so if they kept up this pace.

Tiny wasn’t having it, though. To him, the top of the building looked like it was miles away!

“My feet hurt,” he groaned, aching all over. “Carry me!”

Poppy, usually a pushover when it came to little Trollings, may have given in to the request. But, hadn’t Tiny Diamond stated various times on their trip that he was a man? “You have to be a big boy,” she said, kindly but firmly at the same time.

Tiny Diamond frowned. “I don’t wanna!” he whined. He couldn’t believe this! Maybe saying he was a man when he was only a month old wasn’t such a good idea after all…

__________________________________________

The sight at the top of the Rage Dome was something incredible. It was the tallest building in the city of Mount Rageous, and all of its glitz and glam could be viewed from every astonishing angle. But the view, while quite impressive, was not what Branch, Poppy, and Tiny Diamond had come to see. They were trying to get in the building. And now that they were upon its roof, it was time to initiate the next step of their plan - actually infiltrating the premises, which would not be easy, given the fan that was below them.

Its blades whirred at rapid speed, and Branch knew that if any of them leapt down into it with the hope of passing through at just the right time, they would more than likely not succeed, and the ugly image of three Troll-splatters resulting from it came into his mind.

“Okay,we have to find a way to bypass the fan blades so that our cupcakes don’t get sliced in two,” he said, hoping that Poppy and Tiny got the message.

Tiny Diamond though, in a manner that once again showed he was not a man, didn’t get the metaphor. “We brought cupcakes?!” he asked incredulously. If he’d known that, he woulda snacked on them a long time ago!

“Umm, noooo…” Poppy said, but didn’t elaborate, trying not to put any grotesque images in Tiny’s head.

“No… not what I meant, but it doesn’t matter,” Branch said. He already had an idea in mind. “You wouldn’t happen to have cotton candy, would you?” he asked Poppy.

“Yes, actually, why do you need…. Ooohhhhh…” the Pop Queen trailed off. She understood what he was trying to do when Branch gestured down at the fan.

Tiny didn’t, though. “Cotton candy?! Ooo! Can I have some?”

“Not right now, okay?” Poppy told him, patting the pouting little Trolling’s head for some comfort.

Using the cotton candy, Branch leapt down at the fan, clogging it up so that it stopped spinning. Seeing Branch able to go in without a problem, Poppy and Tiny followed. They landed within a dark room with lots and lots of wires. It looked like a control panel!

Poppy’s eyes lit. “That’s it!” she said. “If we turn off the show, they can’t perform, and we’ll have enough time to get Floyd!” She pulled out a welder’s mask and blowtorch from her hair and immediately got to work, looking exactly like she knew what she was doing.

Branch was stunned. “Wait, how do you know which wires to cut?” He looked up, confused by the mess of yellow, blue, and red that was all intertwined. He was surprised by his girlfriend’s nonchalant answer.

“I don’t!” she admitted. “I’m just blasting everything until something turns off!”

As soon as she said the words, suddenly they heard the sound of something powering off. The light had been seeping in from cracks around them went pitch black.

Darkness fell over the Rage Dome as the electricity went out everywhere, even in the bathroom!

A lone fan who had taken a break to handle some number-two business gasped. “Uhh… hello?” he asked uncertainly. Then he sighed. “Err… this just got way more complicated…”

Poppy grinned sheepishly at Branch, who had a “really?” look on his face.

“Well, I guess that handles that!” Tiny Diamond chimed in.

“Yeah… I guess it did.” Branch had to smirk. His girlfriend’s manner of handling the situation was a little unorthodox, but it had gotten the job done. Now they were closer to accomplishing their mission!

Poppy smiled back. “Let’s roll!” she said, waving them to follow her as they left the wires and traveled down the ventways.

__________________________________________

While Poppy, Branch, and Tiny were happy for the power going out, out on the red carpet, Velvet and Veneer were not.

“What the heck happened?” Veneer asked his sister.

“The lights went out, DUH!” she grumbled, as though it were obvious.

“B-but we’re supposed to perform in five minutes!” Veneer exclaimed.

“Yeah, I know,” Velvet growled. Something funny was up… she could feel it. But right now, she had no time to investigate herself. She and her brother were due to put on another star-dazzling performance. Luckily, she had someone else to help her.

“CRIMP!” she called in a demanding tone.

Scurrying towards her in response was a little, paper-like critter, eager to please. “Yes, yes! I’m here!” she huffed, sounding out of breath.

“See what’s going on, and get the problem fixed. I can’t leave everybody hanging, y’know!”

“You mean ‘we’ can’t leave everybody hanging,” Veneer said, correcting his sister.

Velvet grinned a grin at her brother that was in no way meant to be sweet. “Right, of course, WE,” she said, doing her best not to clock him right there and then.

“Oh yes, of course, right away, boss!” Crimp said, obediently bowing and then hurrying off.

“And get me a macchiato double-espresso with half cream and two lumps of sugar while you’re at it!” Velvet called after her.

“Hey! What about me?” Veneer asked.

“Fine,” she huffed, “make that two!”

“But I like mine with just one lump of sugar,” her brother whined.

“Urrrghh… it’s too late!” Velvet snapped, focusing her attention in keeping her fans entertained while they awaited for the problem to be resolved.

__________________________________________

Meanwhile, the Trolls diligently searched through the venting.

Poppy, Branch, and Tiny peeked in every opening they could find among the maze of passageways. There were plenty of rooms, but none were the kind that they were trying to seek. Branch didn’t see any diamonds holding Trolls bearing resemblance to his brother.

Well, until he did.

Branch gasped when he reached one of the vents and peered down. “Wait!” he whispered to Poppy and Tiny. He bent down, taking a closer look at what was below, and feeling emotions overwhelm him when he saw the distinct figure of Floyd. He was nearly white-haired, and his skin had a strange transparent sheen to it, one that did not look in any way healthy.

“It’s him,” Poppy said in a hushed voice, looking down beside him. She then moved to the screws on the vent and began to undo them with Branch’s help. Once they were able to move the vent aside, he took a deep breath and was the first of them to leap down.

Floyd was startled by the sudden movement of the Trolls and moved back inside of the diamond with a short exclamation.

“Shhh,” Branch said, putting a finger up to his lips.

Floyd was apprehensive. “Wh-who are y - “ But then he stopped right before he finished the question. He knew exactly who this blue-haired Troll with an oh so familiar leafy green vest was, and it made his breath catch in his throat. “Branch?”

Branch nodded, Floyd’s shock so obvious in the way he stared at him with wide eyes, unable to believe that his little baby brother was actually standing there with his full-grown self.  “Yeah… it’s me…” he said, squishing himself up against the diamond wall in an attempt to give him a hug. “And I’m here to help you get out!”

Floyd grinned, pressing himself upon his side of the wall in the same spot where Branch was to return that somewhat-challenging hug. But that grin soon faltered. “Branch… you need to go,” he whispered urgently.

Branch shook his head. “No! I came all this way to get you free, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“But you don’t understand,” Floyd said. “It’s not just about me anymore…”

Branch paused. “What do you mean?”

Just at that moment though, the lights flicked back on in the room. The power had been fixed! In that happening, the TV that had gone out came back on, and the Trolls' attention went to it. Featured was a red carpet reporter who was speaking enthusiastically about the performances that would be seen at the Rage Dome that night, the highlight being Velvet and Veneer. When the two were shown onscreen, Floyd pointed.

“Look!”

Branch did look. Very closely. The two siblings were dolled out in extravagant outfits made of silk, fluff, and a whole lot of diamonds studding it. But something was off about the diamonds themselves. If he examined it really, really closely…

The blue Troll gasped.

Inside of them were their brothers.

Clay on Velvet’s costume, and Spruce and John Dory on Veneer’s!

“They captured them, too,” Floyd explained. “They want all five of us Branch… and they’re gonna come for you next!” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “You need to leave - NOW!”

“I can’t just let you stay here, Floyd!” Branch said.

“You’re gonna have to,” Floyd said. “It’s for your own good!”

“And what about yours?” Branch questioned, feeling greatly disturbed by his brother’s worsening conditions.

Floyd didn’t have a chance to answer. Bursting into the room was the small paper-like assistant to his captors, beaming for her success in returning the power.

“Yay, I did it!” Crimp cheered to herself. “Now all I gotta do is get the boss her - “ she gasped, shocked by what she saw. “TROLL!” Crimp cried, pointing at Branch.

“Uh-oh!” Poppy cried, hauling Branch and Tiny, “RUN!” She and Branch shot their hair back up to the venting to make their escape, though not before the brothers exchanged one last glance with one another. This wasn’t over. Floyd would be freed.

Crimp hurriedly ran out of the room, crying out, “I’ve gotta tell the boss!”

Once Branch had been hauled to safety, Poppy looked at him worriedly. “What’s going on? What do we do?” she asked him desperately.

“We gotta beat that paper thing to the red carpet,” he said. “And fast!” Dashing away with Poppy and Tiny right behind, Branch grew a look of determination. Those terrible twins had all his brothers… and it was about time they got confronted about it!