#this got way longer than I wanted

[elderyautjavegeta]

Imagine this okay.

Every time Doflamingo starts to act up in the Warlord meetings, Crocodile leans over and says something under his breath to him, and Doffy quiets down with the biggest grin on his face that unnerves everyone (well, unnerves them more than his normal grin). No one has ANY idea what Crocodile is saying to him FOR MONTHS but they're thankful SOMETHING is making that psycho chill the fuck out.

It continues to be a mystery until Mihawk ends up sitting next to Crocodile at a meeting one day. Croc's bass voice isn't really capable of whispering, so Mihawk hears this:

"I told you to knock it off or you won't get your way later."

Mihawk has no idea what the hell Crocodile is talking about, and doesn't care, so he forgets he even heard it by the end of that meeting.

However, during the next meeting, Doflamingo does little more than giggle to himself in the corner and doesn't make a single comment or cause a scene, while Crocodile sits stoically next to him smoking his cigar. EVERYONE is on edge after his unusually well-behaved manner, but once again, Mihawk is the only one who learns the reason.

They're all making their way out of the meeting and Doffy and Croc trail a few steps behind Mihawk, which allows Mihawk to have the absolute pleasure (read: horrifying displeasure) of hearing Doflamingo giggle this to Crocodile in what he probably thinks is a hushed voice (it wasn't):

"I behaved, which means I get to eat you out later, right?"

Mihawk walks faster. Why, God... why is always him that has to hear these things?

[bunnakit]

god my depression suddenly hit me like a fucking truck today and i'm so out of whack.

idk i just feel like dog shit, i keep offering to help friends with things or talking about doing stuff together and constantly get essentially "maybe later" which is fine but after so many times like, im just gonna stop offering and stop reaching out - especially if they never reach out to me about this imaginary "later"

and then i'm just feeling replaced in a few of my social circles, or forgotten, which i'm sure isn't the case but my brain is convinced it is

there's also just the months long frustration of none of my friends taking an interest in the things i like - some have made attempts and i have had 2 friends actually sit and listen to me info dump and ramble which is such a nice feeling and i appreciate them so much but, but it's such a small number of my friends and i can't help but feel a little hurt.

idk i think i'm always just The Listener; i have had so many people that just want to talk to me to unload about their day and their feelings and their interests and i don't really mind that but only when it's a two way street. i need them to listen to me and be there for me too, and that's so very rarely the case.

ive talked to my therapist about it and she's advised distancing myself from people like that (Dumpers) and she's constantly shocked at the amount of Dumpers i attract in my life (fucking same babes) but every single time ive tried to set boundaries with people in my life they just.. disappear. i never hear from them again, and then i'm the bad guy in the narrative. which like - whatever. i know i don't need people like that in my life, but it doesn't make it hurt any less and doesn't make me any less reluctant to do it again, you know?

i guess i'm just not feeling valued or cared about - genuinely valued and cared about. when my friends do listen to my interests i feel like they're just humoring me or waiting for me to stop talking. i feel blown off by a lot of friends, like my time isn't valuable.

people wonder why i retreat and rarely talk to anyone and just write my fics and hang out with my husband and dog but like, lol. why would i keep trying???

idk this is probably all stress and pms induced whining but i'm just tired of being an afterthought to so many people in my life. i'm tired of always being replaced by the next interesting person that comes around. i'm tired of my time not being valued, or not being listened to earnestly. i'm just tired, i guess.

[lilybug-02]

Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!

Part 28 || First || Previous || Next...(Hiatus)

--Full Series--

Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

[buwheal]

hey spamton! anything interesting happen recently?

[reactionimagesdaily]

Reaction images aside, how are you holding up?

Aww, thanks for asking. :P

To be honest, I'm probably doing better than most. I'm a healthy cishet white man who lives in the UK, so I don't have nearly as much to worry about as I know a lot of people do. (Also hey, I'm enjoying the new Dragon Age game, so that's been nice.) But I also know what kind of ramifications this election is bound to have, both inside the US and beyond.

(I mean, the world's biggest democracy is getting overtly more hostile and authoriarian in real time (y'know. again), and I know on this side of the pond we've got some real brain donors who'd love to see something similar happen here. I'm worried about what Trump could do once he's back in charge, and I'm worried about what might happen to my own country, with it's 'special relationship' to the US, as a result. And I'm not alone in that.

All this on a fuckin' Wednesday...)

Anyway, I had a longer thing written out here about the concept of orthopraxis (just while I was trying to get my thoughts in order, lmao) but the core of what I want to say is this:

I think we're about to see an uptick in people being shitty

I'm going to counter that by doing un-shitty things

What do I mean by un-shitty things? Well, I've been meaning to participate in Amnesty International's 'Write For Rights' campaign for months - I just fired off my first email today. I've already donated to causes supporting Gaza in the past, but now I'm also planning to write to my local MP about how annoyed I am that my country is still culpable in genocide. Make my voice heard, you know? I also want to keep making art that people enjoy, because I think that's important. And I'm going to buy another commission from an artist I like, because they could probably use something good in their life right now. And... to be honest, I'm not sure what else I'll do yet. When I figure it out, though, I'll try and actually do it.

Maybe for you, un-shitty things mean something smaller scale. Hugging your loved ones for longer, or giving that loose change you always carry around to the next homeless person you see. That's good too. Maybe it's something larger in scale, and that's awesome! But to anyone who's reading this, I'd definitely recommend doing something that not only feels good, but is also TANGIBLE. Not only does doing feel good, but it means that you're improving someone else's life, in however small a way. Which, y'know. Net positive, innit.

(Yes, I'm aware this is basically the 'when you see someone being so mean it inspires you to be kinder meme', lmao. No, I don't really care.)

You asked me how I'm holding up? Well, the first thing I'd like to do is respond to your question in kind: how are you holding up? In a general sense? In specific ways? Hopes, anxieties, plans?

And the next thing I'm going to do is tell you that I'm more than holding up.

I'm locking in.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[cakesmelons]

This is sucha goofy drawing outa context 😭

It's 2 am and funny to me so I'm posting it before I finish the little mini comic

[amphibianaday]

how long have you been aware of Atul from spirit farer?

day 1532 this is obviously just an excuse to draw him again (referenced straight from an ingame screenshot) i've been passivley aware of him for a while. i'm pretty sure someone requested him and i intended to draw him and just forgot actively aware - about a week, since i started playing the game myself :)

[plusultraetc]

I ended up having way too many unfinished fics to choose from for Shinsou's birthday, none of which were ao3-ready, so have this extra long snippet of my beloved ice cream shop au that I've spent way too much time on for a fic that might never actually get posted 😭

(the context here is that Shinsou & Kaminari are trying to get erasermic together, but Kaminari didn't know he was trying to set his teacher up with the music store guy bc he's only heard about him from Shinsou)

[feroluce]

I have been informed by a mutual aid that you are a henghill enjoyer. You've single-handedly gotten me to care about Gepard and I would love to hear your thoughts on Cowborg Menace x Dragon That Can't Catch a Break

Aaaaaaaa I'm really flattered!! I have also been informed by a mutual aid that you have good taste (read: rvb enjoyer) and I need you to know that part of the reason I treat Gepard the way I do, like messing with him constantly, is because he makes me think of Wash. Poor dude was doomed the moment I got my grubby little mitts on him sksjkskdjd

But anyway yes, henghill! They really got me by the throat out of nowhere in 2.2. They're just. Surprisingly sweet?

The two of them get along very well, they see eye to eye on a lot of matters and have some similar mannerisms, they can hold long conversations together, and they have a shockingly swift understanding of the other in a very small amount of time! Platonically or romantically, there's a lot to dig into there. ♡

And I do mean a lot this basically ended up becoming a big long ship manifesto I'm so sorry zmjzznkdjd

Like first of all they're both fucking nerds over each other. Boothill's adoration for the Xianzhou alliance is already well-documented in his About Dan Heng voice line, and is appropriately pointed out in the fandom as sounding gay as all hell.

We know what you are, Boothill.

But then! He further cements it by trying to use Xianzhou sayings in front of Dan Heng haha

Not only that, but Boothill was able to recognize the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath for what it was like immediately, and instantly took it as proof of Dan Heng's identity as a Nameless. The validation of the Xianzhou is clearly a huge deal to him.

And Dan Heng plays it cool but like. I don't think he's actually much better JFKLASJDKL

The in-game Data Bank, which is supposed to be written and maintained by Dan Heng himself, has a pretty positive glowing review of the Galaxy Rangers.

And I feel the need to point out that like. The Galaxy Rangers are essentially a vigilante justice group..."group" being a pretty loose term, there isn't a whole lot of organization in there. Not everyone has a very good view of them because they're outlaws and there's a pretty wide and wild variety of individuals in the mix there, Boothill even confirms it as such.

And that archive entry is a hilariously stark contrast to the one for the Masked Fools, who Dan Heng does NOT seem to respect. So you can tell he puts a lot of his own opinion into the data and you can really see where his preferences lie KFDLAJFKLD

He does let his fanboy slip when Boothill first announces himself as a Galaxy Ranger though, just a little bit haha:

They're like the equivalent of when your favorite big name fandom person follows you back, you feel me fjkdjasflkdjskal

Which. I feel like it does make sense that he would really idolize the Galaxy Rangers and see them as heroes. Dan Heng is someone who was a victim of centuries of wrongful imprisonment and political power plays, and it would have been way worse had Jing Yuan not gone above the preceptors to protect him. He is someone that the system failed, and horrifically so. Of course he would like the idea of righteous heroes who stand for justice and travel the cosmos freely to help people.

And as @hydrachea, CEO of Dan Heng Enterprises and Super Genius with Giant Wrinkly Brain pointed out, this background DOES lay the foundation for Dan Heng to relate to Boothill a lot. You see this displayed beautifully in his Keeping Up With Star Rail video, where Dan Heng gets really protective of him, I adored it so so much. ♡

In it, Dan Heng not only comments that he originally came because he thought he was giving a presentation on how to be friendly with Boothill, but every time the IPC tries to paint him as some violent dangerous ruthless criminal, Dan Heng speaks up to explain his way of thinking and to defend him. It was really sweet!

And Dan Heng is protective of people anyway. He serves as the Guard of the Astral Express for a reason. He had nothing and no one before Himeko took him in, and now that he's found companions to love he is viciously defensive of them. You see it in the way he guards March 7th during fights on Jarilo-IV, in how he goes out of his way to bring important info to the trailblazer, in how he left the safety of the Express and infiltrated the Luofu because he was terrified he was going to lose them. But there's maybe a little extra layer of Understanding in the way he so persistently speaks up in Boothill's defense.

And I'm sure that this is a part of him that Boothill really admires, too, because Dan Heng also displays these instincts in Penacony. He makes the decision not just once, but twice, to use the Jade Abacus to save the Express Crew. And we know from Boothill's earlier reaction to it that like. The Jade Abacus is a Big Fuckin' Deal. It is something of immense value. Even with everything that's at stake, Boothill urges him to really make sure he wants to use it.

And this was something that really got me in the heart later, because! In Ena's Dream, Dan Heng once again decides to use the Jade Abacus, and. I'm not quite sure I can effectively put it in words, but there is something just so so sweet in the way that Boothill tells him no, Dan Heng should keep it. This is a get out of jail free card that could save his life down the line, he wants him to have it in case he finds himself in danger again later.

It really gives the feeling that Boothill actually wanted Dan Heng to not have to rely on this before, but there was no other way at the time. But now there IS something Boothill can do about it, and he wants to do something about it. A sorta-kinda "let me protect you this time"-ish feeling. If that makes any sense. He doesn't want Dan Heng to have to make that sacrifice.

Because I think Boothill would consider that a really admirable and respectable action, especially given his background. The IPC eradicated his homeplanet. He lost his parents, his siblings, his daughter, his home all in one fell swoop, and he has been on a fully dedicated revenge quest ever since. How could he not be a little awed by someone willing to give so much to protect his home and his family?

I think it's something the two of them understand in each other, because as it shows in the dialogue the first time Dan Heng decided to use the Jade Abacus, Boothill caught on immediately. He already knew what Dan Heng was planning before he even said so. And it's not even the first time he does that! Even as early as their initial entrance into the Reverie, Boothill is able to tell when Dan Heng is stressed, why he's stressed, and he backs off and gives him space without any fuss.

And it works! After the Express Crew are safe, they go from Dan Heng correcting him to more just kind of going with Boothill's flow, and I feel like this is a much better basis for their interactions.

Also I'm crying about Dan Heng blabbing that the trailblazer is a vessel of a Stellaron, gossipy little dragon fjdkasjfdklsaj

Like the two of them just GET each other! And so quickly and easily! It's ridiculous! Dan Heng is able to explain the methods behind Boothill's madness. Boothill is able to read Dan Heng like a book. They both had the same reaction to learning Acheron was a Self-Annihilator. They both really believe it's just fine and normal to have a weapon out if you don't trust someone yet- Boothill pulled his gun on Acheron the second he saw her, Dan Heng got his spear out and poked Sampo the first time he met him (valid). And they both act Like That because they're similar flavors of wary and cautious. They had to prove their identities to each other when they first met before either of them could relax.

They're both frank, and blunt, and will openly call shit out or question it when they see fit. They both believe in answering the call to action, and share a lot of their ideologies of The Hunt, like upholding justice and saving the innocent and protecting the weak. Boothill lives to fuck over the IPC and keep them from colonizing more planets like his, Dan Heng didn't even consider his own wants and asked to go to Edo Star to help the population there. They take their creeds seriously, and dedicate themselves to them, enough to be offended by imposters. Dan Heng dislikes Boothill claiming to be a Nameless, Boothill was literally hunting down Acheron for parading around as a Galaxy Ranger.

And all throughout 2.2, Boothill displays an immense knowledge of Paths and Aeons and even Emanators, and Dan Heng is a huge nerd an archiver and a collector of knowledge. The conversations these two could have!! They've both been to a lot of places and seen a lot of things, and I think Dan Heng especially would love listening to Boothill's stories and then adding them to the data bank. They can probably relate on rough travel, too- Boothill refers to the Astral Express as "bunkin' in luxury" and Pom-Pom once said Dan Heng was "used to sleeping on the rope." When March 7th takes the trailblazer to look for Dan Heng, she even phrases this as though he and Boothill have been talking together for quite a while!

Hell, even when they awaken in Ena's Dream, they arrive together:

They were together for almost the entirety of 2.2; literally the very first scene of it was their introduction. They only truly separated when Dan Heng went to help in the fight with The Great Septimus and Boothill to gather the Rangers (and then go shoot Aventurine full of holes fjkdlsajd) but! I'm really hoping we'll get to see more of them together in 2.3! They were a really cool duo, and it was so fun to watch them all through this update, I really want to see more of them now and explore their relationship dynamic more! ♡

[flying-cat]

People don't want character redemption they want a revenge plot from a story that was never supposed to be about revenge

[r3ally-bad-artblog]

instagram | kofi

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

[captaincrazycreative]

Litteraly everyone in this podcast knows WAY more than they're letting on and it's driving me insane