#this got longer than i wanted but it serves its purpose lmao

[mocnlighted]

PSA: It’s nearly September which means pretty soon I’ll be back in classes and my time on here is gradually going to become limited as I won't have as much freetime to

Discord: I will be archiving all servers that have been inactive for 2+ months. If we share a server that falls into this category, this doesn’t mean that we can’t ever write together again, there’s no hard feelings at all - I would just much rather focus on my more active servers. I would also be open to bringing our threads to tumblr, if that’s something you would want too! Tumblr: I won’t be dropping any threads and I’m currently working on my drafts to get through all owed replies to existing threads and starters that i've been tagged in. Please let me know if you want to drop a thread and/or start a new one, even if it's with different muses entirely. The queue on my writing blog is currently set to post 3 replies a day but if you would like our thread posted sooner then please do let me know and, if it’s queued, I’ll post it. I do use the RPThreadTracker and you can find all my owed replies here. If you don't see our thread there, it's because I haven't replied to it yet and the tracking system only works once I reply to it so it will be updated when my reply has been posted.

Going forward, I will be selective when accepting new partners or starting new threads, especially since I'm quite content with the people I'm writing with atm (both current and inactive), but if we are mutuals please don't feel hesitant to reach out! I have updated my rules (the goal was to make it shorter/easier to read but ofc I ended doing with the opposite dfgdkf) just so that people have a better understanding of what to expect when writing with me.

As a courtesty to the people that I'm writing with, I will always post updates if there's any major change to my activity and reach out to my partners if I need to drop any of our threads. It is a shitty feeling to be ghosted or left hanging and the last thing I'd want to do is inflict that on to anyone so whether it's a reply, tagging our pairings in musings, badgering you with headcanons or showing you the 100th pinterest board i've made - you will know i'm still around💗

[sol-lar-bink]

Honestly your Kirby ocs are wonderful and really inspire me to wanna make some too, you got any tips for that? Would appreciate any tips or just how you came to have some of the ideas for them

Thank you!!! That really means a lot to me! My OCs mean the world to me, and its wonderful to hear they inspire you!

I'll try to write some general tips and how I kinda came up with some of my ideas... hope any of this helps!

I mostly focus on the spiders since I'm just super in love with them. And they vary a lot I'd say!

I usually like to start with a few questions before starting work, but not always! Sometimes its fun to just design a character for the heck of it, or if you get a really cool idea! And you can worry about story and lore later.

My questions usually involve

. 'where will this character live?' usually dependent on where I want to plop them into the kirby world. Dreamland? Floralia? Some distant planet I just made up? Anything!

. 'what role/ purpose do they serve for me or the story creatively?' Are they gonna be a main character and have a story? Are they gonna be a self insert for fun? Are they a supporting character or a love interest perhaps? Or better yet, a villain?! The possibilities are endless!!! I sometimes like to make side characters as well, like NPCs. . 'what will their personality be like?' Fairly obvious question, but it will really shape the character into exactly what you want, and who they will be! . 'who are they friends/ enemies with, if any?' I like to usually pair my characters up with someone at least, unless isolation is a key part of their story/ identity. A good example I have is making Toxecia and Sylvette. I specifically made Toxecia to be a tyrannical Queen, and Sylvette to be a close friend to Tox, trying her best to help her become a better person.

Or you have Puffe and Pierce for example. They both work for Haltmann Works INC, but are rivals and hate each others guts.

There may be more questions I'm forgetting but those are my main thoughts first and foremost.

One thing that usually leads to for me at least is a story to tell. I like to create a story my characters can follow and develop through- even if I know I'll never actually be able to tell the story. But a story can come before or after you make an OC.

Now lets talk a lil about how I came up with a few of my characters!

Halaro for example! He's a... sort of self-insert, but also not. His design is both based off of my other sonas/ main characters, and also Taranza. Saying Taranza may seem obvious, but my ideal goal was to have Halaro work in the castle, to be a part of it and be around Taranza. This helps me control how much detail I can actually put into Halaro. I don't want Halaro looking superior to Taranza as he is meant to be lower rank than Taranza. So his design ends up being rather simple with a few minor quirks to make him at least stand out.

Tbh he's does get confused for Taranza often still, but I'm slowly working on separating them more and more as time goes on... but still keep em somewhat similar.

So... he lives in Floralia, Dreamland. He's a sort of self insert, he's the main character overall in my little story (which may never be told lmao) but its nice to have a story somewhere in the background and bring up bits of it every so often.

Toxecia is a fun one. She's heavily based off of a anime character from 'Black ⭐ Rock Shooter' named 'Black Gold Saw'.

I took the longer horns, the hair design (somewhat) and some outfit pieces. Like the sleeve I turned into one of her robes. I also made a similar weapon.

Where my differences come in are the colors. I really wanted to use a toxic green and purple combo cos I've never tried that before. Other elements are mostly original- like her scepter. Its simple, more or a trident if anything, with a classic kirby™ eyeball aesthetic.

Its perfectly okay to borrow things from other IP or OCs as long as you change it up enough!!! Be inspired by what you like!!!

One thing I like to do too is look at other peoples OCs and examine how they design things, what makes them unique, what colors can work or not.

You can also go the route of making a mood board of things you might want the character to be like.

I'd write more but I don't wanna go overboard lmao. Hope this at least is a starting point! Feel free to send any more questions!

[mclwcc]

lmao i had to unfollow a mclaren moot because they took the "twink" thing to an extreme and were pointing out how he's just oscar's little twink and would always be fragile and small instead of big and strong and fit like "broadscar" and i really just had to. 🤦‍♀️ fit? FIT? lando was the only driver not on the brink of fainting after qatar, not everything in f1 is about how "broad" and "muscular" you seem. i wanted to give the benefit of doubt at first but when the fetishizing gay relationships turned into pushing these bodyshaming stereotypes onto a literal professional athlete i was out.

i mean its so wild bc half of them seem to give the twink descriptor to both drivers and half specifically pin it on lando because hes smaller than oscar & make it into a whole Dynamic of lando being sooo toppable or whatever. which just shows that there isnt actually any weight to 'twinklaren' at all and it rly is meaningless, bc surely if it was clear cut and obvious these differences wouldnt exist ykwim? like its just about what serves their fandom purpose in that moment

idk i think as much as the term broadscar is unfortunately quite funny to me, f1 fandom discussions abt weight and bodies r kind of bound to become problematic (real sense not 2014 tumblr sense) bc of the requirements of the sport. the way lewis has said that hes not allowed to bulk up because it would make his weight balance too lopsided (as a side note u guys do not know how ready i am for post retirement bicep BEAST lewis hamilton. the only way im gonna survive him retiring) etc like its not just about appearance for them.

in terms of how lando is fit like ur 100% right - stuff like qatar shows that he (and jon) has been doing his due diligence w preparing for these conditions. u can also just see in that last quadrant video how hes obviously very physically fit and ready for the season. its just that bodies have natural differences between them - oscar is genetically taller, lando is genetically more flexible; oscar is naturally broader around his arms, lando is naturally broader around his back, etc. and its not necessarily an issue to point these things out or even joke about them (when ppl say daniel's got birthing hips it still makes me laugh and its been years since i first heard it) but at some point it does start to show a fundamental misunderstanding of what f1 drivers do. like do i need to pull up the real sweat im a high performance athlete clip or what

so thats on the body stuff. re: the twink stuff i think the reason it rubs me, you, many ppl wrong even before we consciously realise it is like. a twink is a type - not just a body type, a *type*. in the gay male* community, you identify yourself as a twink (or bear, otter, etc) because some people are particularly attracted to twinks, bc they have a type. then obviously because the gay community is way more than just sexual attraction & has a lot of cultural capital, the term twink gained connotations and cultural history etc and grew past that. but the origins are still very much in gay male* attraction. so now that the term has become accessible to ppl who arent in that community, and therefore arent *participating*, identifying someone by their physical characteristics (and maybe implied penetrative sex preference) no longer has the subtext of appeal, but of derision. because no longer is it implied that everyone involved is a gay man*, which means calling someone a twink also implicitly calls them gay. and i think 'twink' specifically gained traction compared to other types also bc of its association w femininity in one's physical appearance - which, again, ur just derogatorily calling someone feminine and gay. even if, say, ur a member of the lgbt community who isn't a gay man*, it still carries the subtext - like anon u completely correctly identified the condescending undertones of whoever ur talking about. which is why i say we should just bring back fag #justsayfag

[delightfuldevin]

Splatoon OCs!! (Plus Rosie and Bowser cause I am cringe but I am free bdbcjsvbdbc)

I only have Neo 3 and 8 as OCs cause I specifically made them to wear the Teddy Band and Golden Toothpick respectively. My Inklingsona wears the Skull Bandanna (plus it’s my favorite in-game headgear so I never change it), but since I worked so hard for the Teddy Band and Golden Toothpick I felt like I needed someone to wear them for me hdncjsdnc

So yeah, that’s their sole purpose for existing and the reason I don’t have an Agent 4, yknow since they never got a super hard to get item from Splat 2 hero mode. I don’t have an og Agent 3 cause I never played Splat 1 so og 3 feels like an already established character to me, rather than one I can make into an OC, if that makes sense?

Notes below cut :3

Gem (Neo 3)

Jewel Squid (Histioteuthis reversa)

19

she/her

5 words to describe her: competitive, show-off, loud-mouth, loyal, try-hard

mains Tri-Stringer exclusively

Signature Color: HeroSoda from Splat 3 hero mode

Natural Color: Red

Extra: The jewel squid is a member of the cockeyed squids, a group of squids so named because the left eye grows to be about twice the size of the right eye. I wanted to show that in Gem’s design by making the left side of her mask bigger than the right side.

Nelly (Agent 8)

Deep Sea Octopus (Graneledone boreopacifica)

21 (as of Splat 3)

she/they/it

5 words to describe her: curious, soft-spoken, shy, excitable, logical

a bit like Marina, but less confident; Marina is her role model

mains Octoshot and occasionally Octobrush

Signature Color: Purple from Octo Expansion

Natural Color: Also Purple

Extra: The deep sea octopus has many warty things on its body, which is why Nelly’s tentacles are so bumpy looking. Also, her eyes are very round compared to the usual Octoling eyes because the deep sea octopus is described as googly-eyed.

No personality traits for Rosie and Bowser cause they’re literally just Rosie and Bowser as Octolings lmao but here’s their notes as well

Rosalina

Big-finned Jellyhead (Cirroteuthis muelleri)

mains Luna Blaster, as well as REEF-LUX 450 and Inkbrush

Signature Color: Turquoise from Splat 3 online modes

Natural Color: pale purplish/brown? Somewhat pearlescent? Idk just look at the pic lol

Extra: Note that she has webbed hands and much longer earfins than a typical Octoling. I know webbed hands would serve no purpose on Octolings since they can’t swim, but I wanted to show the octopus’s webs on her somehow.

Bowser

Giant Pacific Octopus (Enteroctopus dofleini)

mains Heavy Splatling Deco, as well as Hydra Splatling and Clash Blaster

Signature Color: Red from Splat 3 online modes

Natural Color: Also Red

Extra: Note the wavy things on his tentacles, which represent the folds present on the octopus.

Also, for fun, my signature color is Soda from Splat 2 hero mode! I’ve always just called it seafoam green, but when I realized the colors in the games actually had names, I finally got to pick which one I actually meant!

[boinin]

2024 check-in

It's been a while since I talked about Cassis Orange here. For those wondering, I still don't have a concrete ETA on when I'll publish the next chapters. I'm actively writing the final chapters as of now however, after a few false starts and writers' block. All I can say from here is, I'll keep people posted 🐞

For anyone interested in behind-the-scenes rambling about my writing process, more below the cut.

What's holding things up? Well, I like to finish a full draft of a piece, allow myself some breathing space from it, before going back to review, edit and weave together the chapter's themes and ideas.

Emphasis on "finish a full draft". That's a mistake I've made with Cassis Orange. I've always had sight of the destination, and the scenes needed to get the characters there, but not always how these scenes should join up or how they ought to flow.

In addition, nailing down themes and authentic character growth has been challenging. Lastly, the gap between writing chapters 1-8 and writing 9-10 has slowed progress, as I end up needing to re-read what's already there for consistency.

None of this is to the fic's detriment (I hope), but it's knocked my own motivation at times. "Done is better than perfect" is a motto I continually remind myself of. It's taking me longer than I'd like, that's just life. But I remain excited to finish the story, which is the main metric of concern 😉

Anyway, why is finishing a full draft so important?

Well...

Here's a quick look at my old drafts folder:

Chapter 9's main difficulty, despite me knowing exactly what needs to happen, is hitting the right emotional notes and character milestones. I've already made three distinct stabs at the same scenes, none of which really achieve what I want them to.

Thankfully, these particular issues aren't on the same scale as what I faced with Chapter 7. shudders I am confident about where to go next.

If you're wondering, IMO the best solution to this issue is to just... write them anyway. See the events out, imperfect as they may be. It's more insightful to revise a dysfunctional scene from beginning to end, than a half-baked draft that tails off in author despair and confusion.

A recurring mistake, which I'll try to learn from going forward.

|| Spoilers for published chapters of Cassis Orange start here! ||

This is my note on the oldest draft (which I first started in May, apparently?? holy fuck). Because I wrote out of sequence, the Chapter 9 I'd started doesn't align with the direction Chapter 7 and Chapter 8 took. In fact, it's different enough from what I want to convey that I've considered recycling the draft into its own fic. May still do, but not before I finish CO.

The "Kunigami Sadboi" draft is exactly what it sounds like lmao. In short, I sketched out some angsty scenes in his POV that take place between chapter 7 and chapter 8. Alexa, play I'm Not Okay (I Promise).

Ultimately, I determined these don't fit the vibe of the Chapter 9 I want to publish. But they served a valuable creative purpose. Even if it's not spelled out for you (the hypothetical reader), it's important that the writer (me) and by extension, the characters, know what happened off-screen.

These drafts are imperfect. But now that I'm carving out the final Chapter 9, I can cherry-pick ideas and imagery from them. No writing goes to waste, even if it's destined to lounge in your drafts folder for all eternity.

Anyway, if you've got this far, you deserve a medal. Instead, have a snippet of how Chapter 9 could have looked, had I hit publish on that older version. Featuring out-of-character weepy Chigiri and indulgent author moralising via Kunigami!

I'm irrationally fond of this moment, though it doesn't hold up for a number of reasons. It's what the idiom kill your darlings refers to. I can like this excerpt, and it may have some merit, but it doesn't serve the narrative at large. So it dies, along with the 15,000 other words that didn't quite hit the mark 🥲

Here's another snippet, from Kunigami's sadboi days:

Again, something I personally enjoyed writing. Kunigami's dynamic with his kids is something I treasure a lot about this AU. It's simply one of those scenes that's best kept to headcanon, due to the shape I want Chapter 9 to take.

[flying-kanery]

Nightmares

Hey queens! So this fic can also be found on my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flying_kanery. But I didn't want to post the link to the actual fic on ao3 here on tumblr because I want to stay true to my tumblr roots lmao and I feel like if I just post the link here and the text of the fic under it, people will just immediately click the ao3 link (and I don't blame y'all haha, it's definitely what I would do😂) but I want it to be the reader's deliberate choice as to whether they want to read it on tumblr or ao3 lol. In other words, I want to give tumblr a fair chance lmao.

I really overcomplicate everything.

Anywho lol, I hope y'all enjoy some hurt/comfort! I also hope this serves as a reminder for you all that you are infinetely more than enough, but it's okay to need to be reminded of that sometimes. That is what space husbands are for, right? ;)

Here's the fic:

Inspired by this line from the amazing fic What’s Past is Prologue by IKnowWhatToSayNow (https://www.tumblr.com/iknowwhattosaynow):

“It terrifies her. It haunts her in her sleep. It tugs at her heart so heavily that Kanan can feel it as his own pain.”

~

“Ah!”

She was so cold.

Why couldn’t she find him?

He was there—but she couldn’t find him.

Something was surrounding her, clenching her body in its unrelenting fist. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath.

It was chasing her, but it somehow already had a hold on her. It always had a hold on her.

She started weeping.

Where was he?

Her cries got progressively louder and more strained.

It was inescapable. It was the feelings she denied herself when she was awake. It tore her apart, it was cathartic, and strangely, exhilarating.

She wanted it to stop—but she needed it to keep going.

It was an unyielding aching in her heart. A yearning, a longing, that could never be fulfilled. At least not in her dream—no matter how much, how far she kept on chasing it.

But it was chasing her. It was a cycle.

A never-ending, dizzying cycle that haunted her in her sleep and ruled her life when she woke.

There was only one thing that made it all stop. One thing that made it all make sense. One thing that gave her peace and love and purpose.

And she knew he was there.

She couldn’t find him—

But she knew he was there.

And that was all that mattered.

This couldn’t last too much longer, right?

She just had to keep going.

He’d take care of the rest.

He’d be enough.

She just had to not give up and believe in him.

He’d make it all make sense.

He’d turn it all for good

…

She wouldn’t give up.

She never did.

And that’s all she had to do.

She rolled over in Kanan’s arms

~

Kanan’s eyes opened slowly. He immediately looked down to see the woman he loved beside him. The first thing he saw in the morning—and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

She looked so peaceful asleep. Her mind in another world, her body vaguely still aware that he was holding her—at peace, despite everything. Despite the fact that she might be having a bad dream, despite the fears that could very well be preying on her as she snores softly beside him.

He tried protecting her from it.

But he knew that sometimes the best thing he could do for her was just let her sleep—and be there for her when she woke up—to remind her that it was just a dream, and that this was her real life now. That she had him and he would do whatever it takes to be everything she needs.

That he could do.

~

The next night:

CRASH

“AGH!” Kanan screamed.

“Kanan!”

“Ah,” Hera cried in her sleep.

Kanan stirred, but didn’t quite wake.

He was being crushed by the giant piece of rubble on top of him.

“KANAN!”

“Kanan!” she moaned in agony.

She sobbed uncontrollably.

He woke at that.

“Hera?” Ridden with concern, he looked down at her to find her tossing and turning almost violently in his arms.

She was still completely asleep, but something about her pain just felt so real.

They were grasping her arms. They wouldn’t let her go. She used all the strength she had, pushed with her entire body to get them off of her—but it wasn’t enough.

She couldn’t get to him. They were keeping her from running to him.

They were forcing her to helplessly watch the man she loved suffer

“Kanan,” this time the second syllable is a choked sob, “Kanan.”

This tore at his heart. Feeling like he was going to start crying himself, he held her closer and gently stroked the side of her face. Desperately beckoning her to wake from her nightmare, he pressed his lips to her forehead and softly called, “Hera.”

“Hera!” He reached out to her from underneath the rubble, screaming for her to save him,

but it was too late.

“NO!” 

She screamed, louder than she thought she’d ever screamed before.

More rubble crumbled onto him and crushed his body completely.

“NO!” she sobbed even louder.

The rubble consumed him. The rubble got him. The rubble got her. The rubble would always get to her. The rubble would be what keeps her from him.

FEAR

That was the rubble. The unnecessary trash that took up so much space in her life. Seemingly, not a big deal—seemingly, harmless—her heart hoarded it until it filled her entire body, until it brimmed the outskirts of her very being.

How could he break through that much fear? He wasn’t sure how, but he would. He would find a way—for Hera.

“Hera, please,” he begged, “Please, wake up.” He ran his hand over the top of her lek, using all the will he had to help her escape from her awful dream. All of his energy—he focused it on trying to pull her out.

He’s gone.

“Hera,” he gently shook her.

Suddenly, she jerked awake.

She breathed heavily and looked straight ahead, as if her mind hadn’t even acknowledged that he was right there next to her. As she took in her surroundings and seemed to remember where she was, she turned to face him.

She looked into his eyes and uttered his name as if it was a miracle that he was there beside her.

“Kanan?”

“Hera,” he replied softly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. She started crying again and he just held her tighter.

He kissed the top of her head, “It’s okay, it’s okay. We’re together. No one could ever take me from you.”

She snuggled in closer to his chest. Sweet Hera. She deserves none of this.

“You’ll never lose me,” he nuzzled his face in between her lekku, “You’ll never lose me.”

“I just don’t want to be alone again,” she said in a quiet voice.

“I know–”

“And it was my fault, Kanan.”

“No, no never. Never think you’re not doing enough, Hera. Never think that you’re not enough to keep me with you—to keep anyone from taking me away.”

A silent moment, then, “But I couldn’t protect you.”

Another quiet moment passed as Kanan considered his response.

“If you need to protect me, you’ll be more than capable of doing so, Hera…but you just have to trust me when I say that no one can keep me from you, okay?”

Hera hesitated, then against his chest said, “I’ll try.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he responded gently. “I’ll prove it to you. Every day.” He ran his hand up and down her back soothingly, “Okay?”

“Okay,” she said in a slightly happier voice than before. She nuzzled sweetly into his chest. He could tell she was drifting back to sleep.

“I love you,” he said against her forehead.

“I love you too,” she smiled sleepily.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed! I love you all so much<3

[castleamc]

lost dog tags

Pairing: Frankie "Catfish" Morales x GN Reader

Words: 2.8K

Warnings: Meet cute, no use of y/n, reader has no physical description, before triple frontier, set around 2000’s (maybe), Reader/Frankie are in their Mid-20's, food consumption

Summary: During your hiking trail you came across lost military dog tags that you decided to return back to its owner.

A/N: I gave frankie a middle name in this one shot because why not, I was going for names with an A, so I settled with Arturo. Francisco Arturo Morales and btw it serves no purpose in this story avsgsbaha lmao, just wanted to put one. Lmk what you think his middle name could be... And i don’t feel very confident with this one, but what the hell ya know 💜

Main Masterlist ⭐️

It was too god damn early.

The sun was blazing on your skin, not to mention the burning sensation setting in on your calves. Your muscles were tightened, as you kept walking a strain right along the center of shins was starting to hurt. Every step up the hike was a straight shot to your bone traveling inside the narrow to your knees.

Why didn’t you fucking stretch? Like a sane person.

You were no where near close to finishing the trail, every step over the rocks was a nagging reminder of your pain.

Unable to withstand it, you finally looked up from your shoes coming to a halt. Looking up at what’s left of your trail, you saw the sun’s rays dance with the view ahead, it was scorching hot. For some reason, you truly believed that the weather today would be forgiving.

Oh how you underestimated Mother Nature's power.

You needed to stretch on a flat surface, if there was any, if you planned to continue up this hike. A few steps in and you reached a flat-ish surface to squat without overextending your Achilles’ tendon. The weather was becoming hotter and hotter the higher you got to the sun’s looming presence.

Settling down on the spot to the side away from the trail, you carefully placed one foot flat on the surface while stretching the other out carefully not to tip forward. While you repeated the same stretch to the other leg, you rested longer on that leg enjoying the muscles extend from its recoil. When bringing your arms back to your center to stand you noticed a shimmering glare hit your eyes.

Blocking the shimmer with your hand, you saw that it was a necklace of some kind hidden in the rubble of the ground. Reaching toward the chain was hot to touch, but you managed to pull it out from the rubble.

It was dog tags. Military dog tags.

Carefully kneeling on the floor ignoring the blazing heat burning a brand new layer of skin, you held the chain carefully in your hands.

Squinting to focus on the letters enraged it read:

Morales

Francisco A.

201-90-3060

B POS

Catholic

“Uh Francisco? You are…B-positive and missing your dog tags,” you pointed out to yourself.

Whoever he was mostly likely needed this back, he couldn’t of had dropped it here on purpose. Unless he did, which in that case that’s be fucked up. This is one the most beautiful trails in the area and well preserved.

Concluding that he must’ve lost it along his journey up the hike you placed the chain into the side of your book bag and continued.

When you get home you’ll search for his name in the yellow pages, it’d be easier than to call every single military base around you and be put on hold.

You already have his name, how hard could it be?

Bending down to touch your toes for one last stretch, you carried on thinking if this Francisco stretched. It had to be someone who walks here daily, since the chain didn’t show any signs of rust or decolorization.

You looked down at your watch, it was going to get late and the sun isn’t as forgiving in the afternoon. Lifting the brim of your standard oil hat, you had about a 20 minutes or so left to reach the top of your hike.

The lost dog tag will be a future you problem, right now you had to get to the top of the hill to admire the beauty. Nothing beats the view from up here.

Stepping on the final surface, you drink your water walking up to the edge taking off your book bag.

It was a sight to behold thats for sure, you pulled out your film camera to snap a shot of the view.

You always took one picture to look back on when you develop the film, how could you not? The view was breathtaking and each day was always different.

Whoever this, Francisco Morales, person was you had to give him respect because this wasn’t an easy hike, but it was most certainly extraordinary. Sitting down you took in the serenity and beauty slowing down your rapid heart beat.

Sitting on the edge of a slope, you wiped off the sweat dripping off your brows and readjusted your hat.

Looking down at your watch you read, 3PM, you huffed. “Yeah that sounds about right,” puffing up your shirt that’s stuck to your chest for some air.

You closed your eyes thinking about the vast view of trees and listening carefully to the noises all around you. Picturing what animal made that sound, where did it come from, which direction were the trees blowing, thanking god for that sweet breeze, and remembering the missing chain—now found waiting to be returned.

You wondered what this Francisco Morales could possibly look like. His name was definitely something nice to say, “Fran-cis-co Morales.”

It rolled off the tongue very easily.

Maybe he was nice, trained in the Olympics? Or could be a killer—well if he’s in the military they are trained. Perhaps he hunts and lost his dog chain. You kept guessing as you made your way down to hike again.

This could also be the effects of the hot sun and the fact you haven’t had a date in quite some time.

You shrugged off that thought, that’s the last thing you want to dwell on right now. Instead of imagining a face, let’s leave it to the world to surprise you.

You couldn’t deny however, that a very small deep part in your heart hoped that he wasn’t just nice, but also quite attractive.

It never hurt to hope.

Usually on these hiking trails in the mornings you see quite a few attractive people jogging, yet they’re either paired up with someone or going about their day never giving a second thought.

Which in some part you can’t blame them, who goes hiking in hopes to find someone that you could possibly date? You’re all covered in sweat, bug bites, and not to mention starving.

Which brings you back to this mystery man, you must have been trained very well to be doing this hike. Cause it was a bitch to walk and your starving.

Every hike you try to set a goal, to finish your last lap faster than the previous, carefully of course. If you were to hike up too fast that chances of slipping on the soft dirt and breaking something would be pretty high.

Reaching the start of the trail, you made your way to your car, throwing your book bag to the passengers side turning up the AC. You sat in silence letting the cool air dry your sweat as you finished drinking the last bits of water, before heading back home.

Opening the thick phone book, you started humming each letter of the alphabet as you flipped pages.

“K…L…M!”

Found you, now time for F.

Leaning closer to see the small letters, your followed your finger down to the letter F and then to Fr..to later Fra…

There was quite a few Francisco Morales’s to call.

You sighed reaching for your cell phone and highlighter, “Okay Francisco #1, are you my mystery hiker?”

After about a few calls in and half a highlighted section of the same name you were about to give up.

With your dinner half eaten, it was staring to look grim.

On call number…something, you lost track at this point, you spoke with no more enthusiasm.

With a less cheery voice waiting to be rejected once more you greeted the man, “Hello, sorry to bother you. Is this Francisco Morales?”

“Yes it is. Who’s this?” He asked with a deep baritone voice that sounded like he was panting.

That’s interesting.

“Sorry to call like this, I wanted to know if by any chance if you lost a military dog tag?”

You asked taking a bite of your sandwich paying mindlessly to the call.

He took a minute to answer back, you pulled the cell phone away from your ear to make sure to see if he hung up. He didn’t.

“Actually I did, how’d you know that?”

“Oh shit,” you mumbled with food in your mouth suddenly coughing. You forgot you were chewing and evidently how to swallow food as well.

You fucking found him!

Trying to squeeze in some words coming out was hopeless. You sounded like a strangled toy, “Hold-on-please!”

Over your coughing you heard him sound concerned, “Hey are you alright?”

You took a small careful sip of your drink to wash down the deathly bits of crumbs that almost killed you and wiping away the tears pooled in your eyes.

“Yes I am thank you! I’ve been calling and calling wondering who you were Francisco, I found them on State River’s hiking trail.”

He gave a small chuckle, “Well you found me. Thank you for that, I needed them actually.”

You smiled feeling content to have found him, “Glad to help.”

You wondered last minute how exactly you’d give it to him. You didn’t know this person, so mailing it to them was out the question. You didn’t need some complete random stranger knowing where you lived.

Maybe meeting him in a public place was a better option.

“Do you want to meet tomorrow morning at that place that’s near the hike, Alf’s Diner?”

“That sounds good, I usually get my breakfast there before I go on the trail anyways,” he said.

So he does hike and has great taste in food too.

Leaning on the table you couldn’t help but shake off the smile on your face after settling on a time to meet up, “See you there then.”

There was a pause from his side, he cleared his throat.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you again, kind stranger.”

You laughed giving him your name, “Don’t mention it. It’s only fair since I now know your name, blood type, and even religion?”

He chuckled, “That’s true, you do and I was young when I enlisted.”

Curiosity got the best of you and so did the dread of possibly hanging up after spending time searching for him. You didn’t want to end the conversation, not to mention he sounded too relaxing and genuinely interesting since he kept speaking to you.

“Did you like it?”

Picking up your plate, you placed the phone between your shoulder and and ear to clean your dishes.

“I did sometimes. It had its moments, but I got learn how to pilot though.”

Your jaw drops closing the tap water, “You can pilot? That sounds exciting. What’s it like?”

Frankie explained with a passion that his voice transferred over his excitement as he described the rush you get flying so high. He even spoke how much he loved fixing engines, which softened your heart. It excited you to know he found his calling. That’s something so many people struggle with, so to hear that he loves his job made you happy for him.

You could listen to him for hours, his voice was comforting. But you could also just be wiped out from today.

At one point, you tried to figure out what age he could be, he sounded grown and mature. The manner in which he spoke about aviation gave you the impression he teaches it. You knew jack shit about aviation, but listening to him was addicting that some of the stuff he said was now burned into your dead tired brain.

You both spoke a few hours about each other’s careers, what you each loved about hiking that when you rinsed your mouth to get ready for bed the conversation had moved to recalling the worst and best moments of the trail.

You explained, that the best part of it, which he agreed, was reaching the very top and getting that exhilarating feeling of seeing the whole forest down below.

“It’s as if it was being painted right there in front of you, all laid out.”

Climbing into bed you laid back closing your eyes to his voice, “it definitely feels as if it’s a secret not many people get to witness.”

“Exactly! If you don’t make the effort, you miss out. I almost couldn’t make the climb today.”

“Oh? How come?”

“I forgot to stretch,” you groaned internally feeling ridiculous. He was experienced and an outdoorsman, he must think you’re such a rookie.

He chuckled and groaning to stand up.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I don’t stretch much either,” he spoke bashfully.

You smiled to yourself hearing his voice match yours, “Taking a cold shower should help soothe cramped muscles.”

“And apparently so does stretching before bed,” you continued.

“Oh yeah I heard about that too and it’s really popular. Who would’ve known?”

You laughed turning to your side feeling the tiredness in your body start to overpower your senses.

Trying to muffle down your yawn Francisco spoke again, “I also have great hearing, you should go sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You wanted to stay on the phone with him, but he was right. You will see him tomorrow and as much as you’re tired, you felt ecstatic to see him.

“You too. Have a great night Francisco, see you tomorrow.”

“Good night,” he spoke softly.

Driving up to the Alf’s Diner your stomach was in knots all day, from the minute you woke up to the second you started driving.

Entering the diner with the chain bunch up in your hand along with your keys and cell phone, you took a seat that gave you the best view of the diner’s door.

You ordered some light breakfast since after this you planned to go again on the trail. You wanted your body to get use to the hike, but with proper stretches this time to avoid any leg pain.

Judging by the weather outside the window, you might also take your time to enjoy the view.

Speaking of view, catching your eye was a man with shaggy brown hair walking up to the entrance door, he had his hand in his pocket and facial hair around his top lip.

He stepped inside with confidence as he scanned the room.

When he turned to you, you both locked eyes that made you automatically smile at him.

He said your name approaching unsure if you were the right person he’d spent hours on the phone with last night.

“And you must be the mysterious hiker, Francisco?”

“You can call me Frankie, if you’d like.”

Frankie’s heart pounded in his chest and blasted throughout his ears hearing you say his name. You were beautiful, nothing what he had pictured last night, it was better. Your smile was fucking intoxicating, he couldn’t help but keep the stupidest grin on his face.

Last night he wanted to keep talking to you for hours on end. In truth, you both could’ve kept going if he hadn’t caught the sound of your exhausted yawn. So, he settled on looking forward to this meeting today and he couldn’t be happier.

Looking up to meet his brown eyes you took notice of the small fine, barely there lines, around his eyes. He must laugh a lot you think to yourself.

“Well Frankie, I think this is yours,” you extend a hand out letting the chain fall into his rather large hands as he takes a seat next to you.

Great. He smells fantastic too.

“Thank you. I’ve had this for years, I would’ve been bummed out to lose it forever.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure.”

You both smile at one another for a moment letting this sink in. He was insanely beautiful, you had to look down at the menu to keep from staring like a creep, “Want to eat? I already ordered something unless you’re busy of course…”

Frankie shook his head, “Not busy.” He took the menu from your hand letting his fingers cover yours a bit longer than intended.

“I’d love to. What’d you get?”

You leaned in closer over his arm to show him what you ordered telling him it’s your favorite and he could’ve sworn he felt his heart stop beating. Your smell was also addicting, he had to bite his inner cheek to control himself.

The waitress came by and he ordered the same thing you did, taking your word for it.

Frankie couldn’t help by steal glances as you fiddled with the wrapping paper from the straw. You were so beautiful and delightful to look at, you couldn’t possibly be single.

If he could spend hours committing to memory your facial features, the way your nose curved, the angle your eyes turned when you smiled, and that sparkle in your eye that he desperately needed to see again.

Frankie had to know if you were seeing anyone special, not sure to ask he weaved it in the best way he knew how.

“Do you usually come here with your partner and then hike?”

You turned your seat facing him, “Nope. I don’t have anyone special like that. I usually hike on my own.”

Well that wasn’t depressing, at all. You avert your eyes nervously kicking yourself internally for saying it like that.

Frankie frowned looking at your expression change rapidly to something somber trying to pass off as being okay. How could someone like you not have a partner?

Taking the chance he suggested, “Well I can go with you next time you go hiking.”

Your eyes lit with joy igniting a flame in Frankie’s heart, “I’m hiking right after this, you wanna join me?”

Trying your best not to freak out, you gave an easy smile preparing to be rejected. He was incredibly charming and easy to talk to, that you didn’t care if he was a complete stranger you couldn’t wait to get to know more about him.

“I would love that actually, I was going to go too.”

“Perfect, it’s a date then.”

His cheeks tinged with a blushed pink, “Our first date, wow. You move pretty fast.”

You laughed elbowing his arm looking forward to having someone to talk to on the hike.

“I do need to get my hat though, it gets hot up there,” he says after thanking the waitress for bringing your food and his.

Before you start eating, you take off your standard oil cap handing it to him, “Take mine. I have another in my car.”

“Really?” You nod taking a bite of your food making sure to swallow it this time as you watch his arms flex placing the cap on his head.

“How does it look?”

“Perfect,” you flirt adjusting—his cap now to get a better look of his eyes.

Frankie laughs catching you off guard when he reaches to wipe some sauce off the corner of your mouth with your napkin looking at down to you adoringly, “I agree.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! 🥺 💜

More to the story:

how the hike went

sharing a moment together

Permanent Pedro Boys Tag: @mandocrasis, @frenchfryfranki, @snow30285, @greeneyedblondie44, @javierpinme, @sharkbait77, @kirsteng42, @beskarboobs, @cozy-pie, @littlefrescita, @mswarriorbabe80, @leannawithacapitala, @heythere-mel, @voteforpedro09, @just-here-for-the-moment, @djarinladylatin, @athalien, @littlemisspascal, @librariantothejedi, @jediknight122, @lowlights, @jitterbugs927, @hocus-chlocus, @lips-for-you, @pedrostories , @hayley-the-comet , @maryfanson, @xaestheticalien

Frankie's Co-Pilots: @hnt-escape, @woodlandmouth, @theewokingdead, @hoff-mommy, @ezzieu2, @dobbyjen, @finerthingsboutique, @yourbucky084, @blub-senpai, @lovesbiggerthanpride

crossed out tags don’t work, pls check ur settings bbys! <3

✨taglist here ✨

[purplesurveys]

1274

Department One: Apparel And Jewelry

What are you wearing today?  Just a white duster dress. Very loungewear-y, hahaha. I didn’t feel like wearing shorts today.

What does your favorite shirt look like?  At the moment I’m obsessed with my Vante shirt. It’s fanmade but it was made tastefully; the designs aren’t too loud and I love the cute little shoutouts and tributes to his past paintings, so it had been a ridiculously easy decision for me to want to buy it.

What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing?  Eh I don’t really have a preference as long as I don’t find them uncomfy.

What are your favorite kind of jeans?  I’m definitely still stuck in my mom jeans phase. Idk man, I just love how they match nearly all kinds of tops.

What do the last pair of shoes you wore look like?  They were adidas sneakers. Not a big fan of chunky shoes but it’s an Ivy Park and it was on a big discount HAHAHA so I didn’t hesitate to get them.

How many shoes do you own?  A little more than 10. I love shoes and wanna collect them someday...just not today, hahaha.

How much jewelry do you own?  Not too big on jewelry; most, if not all the ones I wear are just borrowed from my mom since we share the same style anyway.

Do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry?  Yeah, the ones I would borrow from my mom are pretty pricey.

Has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present?  Yes, I received rings and necklaces from my ex. One of my aunts also gave me a necklace when I turned 7.

Do you like diamonds or gemstones better?  I just stick with diamonds...which is...also a gemstone too, if I’m not mistaken.

Silver or gold?  Silver.

Department Two: Electronics

Do you have a DVD player in your car?  Not in mine, but we do have one in the family car. I used to watch movies on there often but after one grueling road trip where my motion sickness acted up, I haven’t wanted to use it since.

If you have one, what does your camera/camcorder look like?  I just use the camera in my phone but back in the day I used to have a DSLR; that was when I thought I wanted to take up photography, heh. It was a Nikon D3100.

How much did it cost?  I’m not sure since my dad gave it to me as a present, but a quick search told me it would’ve cost him around P20,000 which issssss wow more expensive than I thought.

What kind of cellphone do you have?  I have an iPhone 8 with an LCD screen that’s deteriorating by the day HAHA. I really need to get a new phone.

How often do you send texts?  I text just for work purposes now, so it really depends on how busy my accounts are. Some days would require me to send out more texts than usual.

Do you have your own computer or does your family share?  I have my own laptop. My workplace also provided me with what’s supposed to be my work laptop, but they had it sent to me when I was already a couple of months into my job and all my needed files and programs were already in my personal laptop. Since I was too lazy to start everything all over again, I’ve never actually used the work laptop haha.

How many computers are in your house?  We have three laptops in total - my siblings and I each have our own. Kind of a necessity these days.

Do you still have a VCR?  I don’t think so.

How many DVDs do you own?  We probably have around 30-50 but most of them are movies from like the 2000s that we just haven’t thrown out. Personally, I have about five DVDs of old films like Gone with the Wind, Rebel Without A Cause, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc, and recently I’ve been buying BTS merch so DVDs are part of that mix too.

Does your car have a GPS?  No. I use Waze on my phone instead.

What kind of iPod/MP3 player do you have? Haven’t used an iPod in like a literal decade. I use Spotify for my music.

How many songs are on it?  Spotify doesn’t work that way since it’s technically a database of songs.

What size is your TV?  Never bothered to ask/check.

How many TVs are in your house?  Four. Living room, dining room, master bedroom, my brother’s room.

What video game systems do you have?  We have a PS3 and PS4. 

What about handhelds?  Switch. I believe my sister also still has her DSi stored somewhere.

How many video games do you have?  Probably somewhere around 50-60. My dad and brother are content with repeating their games lol.

Department Three: Home

What kind of shampoo do you use?  It’s a Dove variant but I’m just blanking out on the specific name/what it does.

Soap or shower gel?  Shower gel.

What does your comforter look like?  It’s pretty colorful and has geometric shapes and lines.

Does it match your pillows?  Yep, they come in a set.

What size is your bed?  Twin.

Do you or your parents like to decorate the house with various things or is it plain?  My mom puts considerable effort in decorating the house but it’s nothing overboard that it feels tacky. There’s enough decor in enough spaces.

Does the furniture in your house match?  Sure. I imagine my mom would be very irritated if she felt something was uncoordinated at home.

What does your couch look like?  It’s a gray L-shaped couch. Gabie broke a portion of the couch’s springs when it had only spent its like first two weeks at home but surprisingly my mom has not noticed it yet; probably because she barely sits on that side.

How many does your dining room/kitchen table seat?  It has six chairs, though since we’re five one of the chairs is almost always unoccupied.

Do you have any fancy china?  No, my mom isn’t the type to collect those.

Do you have outside furniture?  Yeah we have a table and chairs up on the rooftop, if they count.

What do your curtains look like?  My siblings and I have pull-down blinds. The other rooms have these pulled-back gold curtains that’s accompanied by white sheers.

Department Four: Grocery

What kind of bread do you get?  Sliced white bread, always. Sometimes my mom will pick up pan de sal, but she gets those from a certain bakery and no longer the grocery.

What is your favorite kind of cake?  CHEEEEEEEEEESECAAAAAAAKE.

Do you get a lot of sweets from the grocery store?  Eh, nah. Not a big fan of sweets.

What kind of soda is your favorite?  Don’t like soda.

Do you drink juice? What kind?  I can take it or leave it. I wouldn’t buy it for myself.

What is your favorite chewing gum?  Doesn’t matter to me. The flavors last for only like a minute anyway.

Do you usually get candy from the check-out aisle?  Nah. Those are far more accessible so who knows who could’ve touched or tampered with them. Plus, I mentioned I don’t like sweets.

What is your favorite soup?  Miso or cream of mushroom.

Have you ever had soup when you were sick?  No. I don’t enjoy hot beverages/liquids very much so I doubt I would feel comfort from soup when I’m sick.

What are your favorite canned vegetables?  Not sure if it’s a cultural difference thing but canned vegetables kind of sound gross and I don’t think I’ve encountered those (I actually had to look it up lol). My parents always buy fruits and veggies as is.

What do you eat for breakfast?  Fried rice is a constant but my mom switches up the set of viands every time. Some of the meals she serves would be hotdogs, eggs (either scrambled, omelette, fried, or sunny-side up), corned beef, dried fish, hashbrowns, luncheon meat, tapa, and Vienna sausages. Poptarts or toaster strudels?  Poptarts. I’ve never had toaster strudel and I’m honestly not sure what that is.

What salad dressing do you prefer?  Spicy mayo.

Ketchup, mayonnaise, or mustard?  MAYONNAISE. I can live without the other two.

What kind of cookie do you like best?  I only ever eat chocolate chip.

What kind of snacks do you get at the grocery store?  Salted egg chips or Pringles. Not a big fan of snacks either. This survey is making me realize I’m way more into full meals than anything else.

Do you get the meat from the deli?  Er, we don’t have delis here. Too fancy a concept lmao. If we have them, they are most likely in those extremely upscale, boujee neighborhoods.

What is your favorite frozen dinner?  I mean my dad buys frozen meat, fish, etc, but the frozen dinner sets that I see in American culture, which I’m guessing is what’s being referred to in this question, are not common here.

Do you prefer frozen dinners to actual cooking?  I honestly can’t imagine how it’s filling, but then again I’ve never tried it. Personally, food made from scratch is still the best.

What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Fettuccine.

Do you eat meat? And if not, do you eat vegetarian meat?  Yes, I eat meat. I get vegan options if they’re accessible and affordable, but those choices are hard to come by here.

What is your favorite fruit?  Avocado is really the only one I’ll give a pass to. Everything else tastes horrible.

What about vegetable?  Broccoli, bell peppers, green beans.

Department Five: Health And Beauty

What kind of makeup do you normally use?  None. If I absolutely have to put on makeup, I will begrudgingly put on foundation, maybe some eyeliner, and lip gloss. And they will all most likely be borrowed from my sister.

Do you wear more makeup on special events?  Not necessarily.

What is your favorite makeup brand?  I wouldn’t be the right person to ask because I would just say none of them.

Do you use any acne products?  Mmm no, I just splash water on my face, really. I actually got into a conversation about skincare with my co-workers yesterday and besides the usual shocked experessions I get when people find out I don’t use products, they recommended I at least get moisturizer and sunscreen. Idk, let’s see but historically it’s been hard to convince me to invest in skincare haha.

What kind of perfume do you use?  I have one of Beyoncé’s perfumes, Heat Rush. I don’t actually know if that’s still in production but it’s been my staple for like a decade or so now.

Have you ever been on a diet?  No. I never really had to be on one.

What products do you use in your hair?  Shampoo and conditioner.

How often do you brush your hair?  Only when I have to leave the house or have an important virtual work meeting.

What do you take when you have an upset stomach?  Nothing. The toilet usually solves that for me lol.

Do you take any prescription medicine? Nope.

Department Six: Movies, Music, And Books

What is your favorite movie of all time?  It’s been Two for the Road for a solid nine years and it doesn’t look like anything’s on its way to dethroning it anytime soon.

What genre of movie do like best?  Drama. The more realistic it is, the better.

What was the last movie you watched?  It’s a Korean film called Be With You. I liked it and I cried waterfalls, but the ending was so rushed it was kind of disappointing.

What was the last movie you purchased?  I don’t buy movies. If I wanted to see a film I’ll check if Netflix has it, then if they don’t I just try to scour one of those illegal movie streaming sites that always happen to have thousands of pornographic ads hahaha.

What is your all time favorite band? Paramore. Do you still buy CDs?  Only from artists I’m an extremely huge fan of. Right now that would be BTS, so I’m catching up on all the albums they’ve released in the last eight years.

What was the last CD you bought?  I got the Butter album set, if that counts. If it doesn’t, the last full-length album I purchased was Dark & Wild.

What was the last song you listened to?  I think it was Permission To Dance.

What is your favorite book?  I haven’t found it yet.

Do you even like reading?  I used to love it a lot more, to the point that back in grade school I was known as always having a book in my hand. I just don’t know where that passion went.

How often do you read?  Nearly never. I mean...I do read fanfics, I guess; but I won’t count those.

Department Seven: Sports And Fitness

Do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.?  We do have a bike at home, but that doesn’t mean I know how to ride it. We don’t have the other two.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike w/o training wheels?  I still don’t know how to last on a bike without training wheels heheh.

Have you ever been camping?  Nah.

How often do you work out?  Nope but at work my boss just started another fitness challenge, so I’ll probably have to get back on working out soon just because I would want to accomplish the challenge.

Are you in good shape?  Sure, I think so. I’m not like fit fit because I neveeer exercise haha, but I also don’t make it a point to constantly eat unhealthy foods or have an unhealthy lifestyle to the point that it affects my body.

Do you go to a gym?  I do not. I thought of getting a membership at the start of the year but I’m glad I didn’t push through with it because all the gyms are still closed anyway.

Have you ever been fishing?  No. Idk if it’s my kind of pastime or not.

Have you ever been on a boat?  Yeah. My country has like 7000 islands so I was bound to get on a boat at some point in my life haha.

Can you play golf?  Never seemed interesting to me so no. Even on Wii Sports I barely picked golf.

Ever rode on a golf cart?  Yeah, in resorts where we had to ride them to be taken to our room.

Would you ever go hunting?  That’s an easy no.

What is your favorite sport?  Pro wrestling or table tennis.

Ever played on a sports team?  No, my school didn’t have a table tennis varsity.

Department Eight: Toys

What was your favorite toy as a child?  Cash registers because I liked the buttons. Also Play-Doh sets that had those contraptions that would squirt out the clay in various shapes.

Do you still play with toys?  Well, no.

Do you collect any toys?  I don’t, but I’m not opposed to start buying Funko Pop figurines of people or characters I’m interested in.

Did you ever have building blocks?  Sure, but I was never creative enough for them.

Did you play with dolls?  No.

Barbies or Bratz? Which were better?  BRATZZZZZZ

What is your favorite board game?  Scrabble.

Do you like to do arts and crafts?  Hell no.

Do you think that kids now have it better than when you were young? For sure, but isn’t that kind of the goal?

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Tag games

Okay, so I was tagged in two tag games by @reignoerme, so I will do them in one post for sake of ease and put them below a read-more. Thank you for tagging me in these! They look fun, and I don’t think I’ve done either of them before, so here we go. :D

List 5 albums I can’t live without. 💓

1. Damn the Torpedoes by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers This should surprise no one. This album, from start to finish, is literal magic. And I don’t mean the way it makes me feel (although listening to it on vinyl is such a JOYOUS experience that there are times I just LAUGH to express my awe over how talented these five musicians are and what they collectively arranged in the form of this album), but whatever they all did - HOWEVER they did it - to create this album’s existence is nothing short of magic. And god dammit, everyone needs some magic in their lives, even if it’s auditorily experienced.

2. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper Even though I wouldn’t defend that every single track on this album is “enduring” art (whatever that means!), this IS my favorite Cyndi Lauper album and I happen to love every single song on it, anyway. LOL And since the prompt is “albums that I can’t live without,” I have to include it because I literally would not be able to live without the song “Calm Inside the Storm” - it’s the first song on my anti-depression playlist, and I play it often when I’m feeling awful to some degree, and it cheers me up at least a little bit. This album is wonderfully varied, nonetheless.

3. Break Out by The Pointer Sisters Is there a better pop album (including dance, R&B, rock, and soul) than this, especially from the ‘80s?! At least to me: BASICALLY NO! This is one of my favorite feel-good albums that makes me happy and inspires me to dance (and definitely to sing along). Isn’t that what music is supposed to do, essentially? This album serves its purpose...but, in my opinion, IN a lasting way. (Yeah, unlike True Colors, LOL, sorry. I do love Cyndi and the impact her music had, but The Pointer Sisters’ impact has been much longer lasting, I feel. I adore them.)

4. Blueprint by Alice Bag The main point, actually, is that I simply could not live without Alice Bag’s music. I wasn’t sure if I’d mention this one, or Sister Dynamite (what got me through 2020), or even her debut solo album, but ultimately I’d choose Blueprint because “Se Cree Joven” is also on my anti-depression playlist. There’s probably some symbolism present for me to specifically choose Blueprint, as well...but I’m not sure what it is at the moment. Anyway, I love Alice Bag’s music and I also love her for nurturing my love of punk rock. (Not personally, obviously! Just incidentally. She makes me feel like it’s acceptable for me to like the genre even though it doesn’t match my personality or ‘image.’)

5. The Woods by Sleater-Kinney Because sometimes you don’t need to feel like ‘Oh my gosh, I’m so grateful to be alive...’ Sometimes you’re fucking angry, or angsty, and you need music that matches your mood - that you can scream AND dance along to. There’s a few other artists/bands I have in mind who also fit that ideal, but for now, Sleater-Kinney win. And to think I only finally gave their music a chance three years ago, and I still listen to them weekly AND I’ve seen them live. No, I simply could not live without this album or S-K in general.

And then to answer these prompts!

favorite song at the moment: ”Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty (sorry, but my favorite song never changes - which is why it’s my favorite - and being asked what my favorite song is “at the moment” is too overwhelming otherwise, LOL)

song you associate with your favorite ship: “Never Say Never” by Romeo Void (I have, like, several favorite ships across various fandoms? So I just chose my most recent favorite and also the one I am currently writing for, heheheh)

song that could be about you: “Rock a Little (Go Ahead Lily)” by Stevie Nicks

song that reminds you of a good memory: “The Cloud” by Thunderpussy

song you find overrated: “Wildflowers” by Tom Petty lmao this is why I hate when people associate me with this song, however well-intentioned they may be. Just because my name is a flower and TPATH are my favorite band doesn’t mean I want to be associated with a basic song like this one! PLEASE NO. :(

song you want your mutuals to listen to: “Daughter” covered by Nancy Wilson :’)

song that makes you laugh: “Cripple Creek” by Buffy Sainte-Marie (only because I try to sing along with her every time and get tripped up EVERY TIME by actually singing the title, “cripple creek” - my mouth always acts like ‘TOO MANY ALLITERATION TOO FAST, CANNOT COMPUTE’ and it makes me laugh!)

last song you listened to: “You Don’t Know How It Feels” by Tom Petty I actually have not listened to this song in well over a year, haha

I will tag for either of these prompts - or both, if you’d like! (although please don’t feel obligated to!): @aredhel-of-doylkien, @astarkey, @countrymusicandcher, @astoppedclock, @ina-gartens-weave, @buddyhollyscurls, @betweentimeand42, @happytimetravelmilkshake, @plenilunada

[feverwritingandtextposts]

Your Rengoku fic was soo soooooo good?! I was blushing and smiling so much!! Is it okay to request Sanemi being nervous to ask reader on a date too in modern AU? He asks Kanae for advice and reader misunderstood his intentions and thought she never had a chance with him. He does eventually ask the home economics teacher after some encouragement from Kanae 🤭 cute, slightly angsty miscommunication! Sanemi is too cute hehe. If not I understand, thank you!

I loved your request lmao! I was caught up for a few days wondering what would be the best way to write it. I hope you like it! Tell me if you do, also still tell me if you don’t LOL.

If you like my work, please support me on ko-fi!

This was also posted on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21781480

 ————————————————————————————

Miscommunication

Not for the first time, you were thankful of how large Himejima was.

He blocked out everything, the light, the doorway, Shinazugawa’s glare…

Peering cautiously past Himejima’s bulk, you met the sharp eyes of the Math teacher. You flickered your gaze back to the table immediately, trying to desperately act as if you never noticed him staring.

In your defence, you never thought he’d get this angry over it. You only ate one of his strawberry daifuku, and that was only because he’d been complaining about having to eat them at all! A generous student’s mother had given him an entire bag full of them; you didn’t think he’d miss one.

Slowly, you lean back in your chair slinking fully into Himejima’s shadow and out of Shinazugawa’s line of sight. You had to stretch out your hands awkwardly to mark papers at this angle, but its worth it to stop feeling that burning glare on your skin.

From over the other side of the room, you could hear Shinazugawa’s chair scrape as he moved, and all of a sudden, you felt that piercing gaze on you again.

Did he re-position himself… Just to glare at you?

You were so fucked.

                                                        —

“You should try a peace offering,” came Tomioka’s mild suggestion. At your silence, he tries again. “It worked for me,” he says, half shrugging.

You remember a specific instance where Tomioka had tried this very method to stop Shinazugawa’s angry tirade during a particularly tense teacher’s meeting (hereby referred to by traumatised witnesses as ‘The Incident’). The two of them had ended up in an all out brawl, the bear shaped cupcake Tomioka had offered ending up half squished under his sneakers, with the other half smeared all over Shinazugawa’s tight tailored trousers.

Probably sensing what you were thinking of, Tomioka opened his mouth again, perhaps to defend his suggestion before he was smoothly cut off by Kanae.

“He’s got a point!” she says, clapping her hands together in excitement. “After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! You should make him something.”

You frown at her.

She goes on, pointedly ignoring your deep frown of disapproval. “How about ohagi? I’m sure you know how to make some, you’re the Home Economics teacher after all.”

You frown even harder. “Kanae-san, he’ll kill me.”

She smiles, and there’s something mysterious that twinkles behind her eyes that scares you. “He won’t if it tastes nice.”

                                                          —

Perhaps for better or worse, you take up their suggestions. You don’t have any better ideas anyway.

You spent a lonely afternoon working on your sweets in the empty Home Economics classroom, crafting your ohagi. You’d never admit it, but you took Kanae’s words seriously. If you were sure of anything, it was your cooking skills. You could’ve been a chef if you weren’t so intent on teaching rowdy children the finer art of home cooked cuisine.

If Shinazugawa didn’t like your ohagi your heart might never survive the insult.

At Kanae’s encouragement the next day, you began your long walk to find Shinazugawa, with all the heavy countenance of a soldier off to war.

You find him brisk walking through the third year’s corridor, probably on his way back to the staff room for lunch. He looked as hard to approach as ever, face set in stony contemplation, arm raised to prop his file up on his shoulder, biceps bulging through his tight shirt.

Hesitantly, you call after him, the nicely wrapped bag of ohagi clutched tightly in your clammy hands. To your surprise, he stops immediately, head swinging to you so fast he might have gotten whiplash.

“What?” he asks, eyes wide and intense, burning right through you. Uncomfortable by the full force of his attention, you felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and you break eye contact. Lowering your gaze, you are instead greeted by a full view of his scarred pectorals, courtesy of the ever open shirt. You raise your gaze back to his face immediately, not wanting to be caught staring.

“Um,” you begin, holding out the packet of food, feeling for all intents and purposes like a blushing schoolgirl talking to her crush. Thank god all of the students had already left for the cafeteria. “This is for you.”

He takes it, eyes widening as he examines the treats through the see-through plastic packaging. He’s unusually quiet. “Sorry for eating your daifuku,"you grind out, and his eyes snap back to you.

His face twists, eyebrow cocked. "You ate my daifuku?” he asks, confusion laced in his voice.

“You didn’t realise?” you ask, incredulous.

Shinazugawa scowls in response. “Why would I care if you ate it? You can have the entire bag if you want.”

“Then, why are you angry with me?" 

At that, Shinazugawa splutters, and you watch as his cheeks tinge with colour.

"I’m not mad at you,” he snaps, eyebrows furrowed angrily at you.

Pursing your lips, you decide to let that one go. Shinazugawa continues to glare at you for a moment longer, before blurting out a harsh “whatever,” and stalking off.

You stand in the empty hallway, dumbfounded. He didn’t even thank you for the food! But then again, he did say he wasn’t angry at you so… You’ll still consider this a win.

Shinazugawa doesn’t speak another word to you for the rest of the day, but the heated glares stop as well so you won’t complain.

                                                            —

The next morning has you breathing easier. No longer did you feel Shinazugawa’s fevered gaze trained on your back. No longer did you risk catching his eye in a crowd, far too intense for a mere glance. No longer did he force himself into the seat in front of you at lunch and glare at you instead of eating his food.

It was actually feeling far too peaceful for you. Like a fire doused with water, the sudden change in Shinazugawa’s attitude left you feeling surprisingly dour.

You barely even see him anymore, a startling change from when he seemed to be everywhere you looked. If you didn’t know better, yo’d think he was avoiding you.

The thought made you a little bit sad.

You didn’t mean to create a rift with him. You just wanted to be friends! Maybe. Even you didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted to get along with your colleague, you wanted it to be more than just long looks from the other side of the room, more than just wordless glares. You wanted to know just what his problem with you was.

The more you thought about it, the angrier you got.

Stupid Shinazugawa, with his stupid hair, and his stupid handsome face, and perfect abs and-

Whatever. It’s not like you cared anyway.

That’s exactly what you tell a very bored Tomioka at lunch that day, as he chews dismally through a mouthful of rice.

“Hm,” is all he says to your ranting, and continues shoveling rice into his face. Rengoku also ignores your griping, likely not even hearing you over his own exclamations of “Delicious!” as he steadily makes his way through his fifth bowl of ramen. You guys were the only ones at the teacher’s table with Uzui holed up in the infirmary nursing burnt fingers from his latest explosion attempt, Himejima spending the lunch hour counseling (reprimanding) some of the problem kids, and the rest scattered somewhere or another.

You wished that Kanae were here to vent to. No sooner did you think that did the lady herself walk into the cafeteria, deep in conversation with a pensive looking Shinazugawa. Walking towards the table, Kanae catches your eye and sends a quick smile your way, never once stopping whatever it was she was telling the Math teacher. You hear Shinazugawa click his tongue in annoyance at her as they drew close. Spotting you and Tomioka, he gives the latter a particularly withering glare, and glances away quickly when you meet his eye. Not breaking stride, he stalks past the teacher’s table, to sit in-between a surprised Genya and an absolutely horror struck Zenitsu.

Inwardly, you offer the boy your condolences.

Kanae gives you a knowing smile as she takes her seat beside you, leisurely unpacking her homemade bento.

“So how did it go?” she asks finally, offering you a piece of her tamagoyaki.

“Terrible,” you reply grumpily, accepting the egg and immediately shoving it in your mouth. “He hates me even more now.”

Kanae hums thoughtfully in reply. “I don’t think he hates you.”

You deadpan her a look. “He hasn’t said a word to me all day. He won’t even look at me.” At that Kanae snickers, trying and failing to hide her smile behind her chopsticks. You raise an eyebrow at her questioningly.

“You seem surprisingly upset at that! After all that you’ve complained about being looked at too much before,” she says in-between bouts of tinkling laughter.

You can’t help the immediate flush at her words. “I wasn’t being looked at! I was being glared at!”

“Uh huh,” she agrees teasingly, pretty pink eyes alight with amusement. Feeling the heat creep up your neck at the implication, you turn away from her with a huff.

Your reaction just served to amuse her more, and she pats your back consolingly. After her laughter dies down, she speaks again, voice gentle. “If you want him to speak to you, why don’t you try talking to him first?”

You fight the childish need to pout. “No way. He can hate me if he wants, I don’t care.”

Behind your back, Kanae and Tomioka share a tired look.

Your dismal mood carried on throughout the day, even inciting the concern of some of your more perceptive students (mainly Tanjiro). You sigh as you set your stack of collected homework on your desk, drained from your own whirlwind of emotions the last few days. You’ll tackle it tomorrow.

You’re so wrapped up in yourself that it takes you a while to notice that you’re the last person left in the staff room. With a single glance to the dark skies outside, you rummage through your bag and desk for your umbrella.

You can’t find it, probably having left it to dry out on your balcony the night before. Silently ruing your own forgetfulness, you resolved to just make a dash for it with your windbreaker as a makeshift cover. Luckily it was late enough that most if not all of the students were already home and wouldn’t bear witness to their teacher fighting the rain.

Pulling open the door, you step out and knock promptly into something hard in the darkened hallway. Before you can draw back with a shriek, the something speaks. “You’re still here?” the voice asks, and you peer through the dim lighting to see Shinazugawa staring down at you.

“Yeah I had some.. Stuff to do,” you mumble, taking a step back from him. “Why are you still here?”

Shinazugawa’s eyes, no less intense than before, searches you for a second before he glances away again. “Its raining. Do you have an umbrella?” he says finally, choosing apparently, to completely gloss over your question.

You shake your head in response, wondering why he was suddenly talking to you. He cocked his head sharply, a universal sign for follow me. Turning, he ambles down the hallway calling out a casual, “you can share mine,” as he goes.

Your pride begged you to protest, but the larger, traitorous part of you willed yourself to go along with it, following him down the dim empty hallways to the school entrance. You say nothing on your way down, the strange awkward tension of the situation settling into your bones and keeping you from looking at him. Ever so often you feel his burning gaze settle on you, but he glances away just as quickly.

As it turns out, Shinazugawa’s umbrella wasn’t that big. It wasn’t tiny, but it certainly wasn’t big enough for the two of you to share without one of you getting wet. The man himself shoots you a pointed look and you take it as a hint not to mention that.

Pressed against his arm, you tried desperately not to think about how your fingertips brushed against his as you two walked, squeezed awkwardly under the umbrella.

The sun would have barely gone down at this time, but it was so dark out it might as well have been night. It was also ridiculously cold out, a fact that you only realised now that you had a warm body tucked against you. As the rain came down heavier, you felt a shiver rack through you, and you involuntarily press yourself into the warmth of Shinazugawa’s arm.

You feel him stiffen, and realising that, you try to move away, getting your shoulder immediately soaked through with rain. Shinazugawa clicks his tongue in annoyance, wrapping his arm around you and drawing you in close. “You’re gonna get wet, idiot,” he muttered, but there was no heat behind his words. Instead, all the world’s heat seemed to be concentrated in his arm, wrapped tightly around you, comfortably warm.

Your face was burning. Utterly gobsmacked by the situation, you couldn’t bring yourself to say a word, hell, you couldn’t even look at him right now. The rain was thankfully loud enough to drown out the beating of your own heart as you two made your way down to the station, half cuddled into his side. You were pretty sure his arm was getting wet from how it was shielding you from the rain, but Shinazugawa didn’t say a word, so you didn’t either.

The station was as busy as ever, filled with bedraggled people running for their trains. Shinazugawa dropped his arm from you the minute you two were under the station’s shelter. Wordlessly, he began folding the umbrella. Somehow you felt that if you spoke now, it would break the strange tension that has followed you two since leaving the school. And for some reason, you didn’t want that to happen. So you stand, watching as he folds his umbrella, slowly, and he stands, feeling your eyes on him, close enough for him to smell the shampoo off your hair.

Shinazugawa breaks the silence first.

“Wanna get something to eat?” he asks, tossing his bag over his shoulder and giving you a great view of his rolling biceps.

“What?” you reply, intelligently.

“Eat. Let’s go eat,” he says, beckoning you to follow him as he makes his way over to one of the small hole in the wall eateries that line the inside of the station. Not wanting to turn down this rare show of friendliness, and even less wanting to part from him, you follow along.

The two of you squeeze into the tiny plastic benches of a damp smelling Mcdonalds. Seated in front of you, the chairs were close enough that your knees bumped against Shinazugawa’s, but that wasn’t what you were focused on. Shinazugawa was smiling.

He looked like he was trying to hide it too, propping his elbow up on the backrest and resting his hand oh so causally against his mouth. You never thought he’d like Mcdonalds this much.

“What do you wanna get?” Shinazugawa asked, “I’m buying.”

“Uhh,” you scan the menu quickly, before telling him your order. You were more than a little flustered with the sudden 180 in your relationship with this man. He went from angry, to ignoring you, to walking with you in the rain, to now treating you to food? He felt like a hurricane and you can’t catch up.

Distantly, you thought about what Kanae said about “talking”.

Shinazugawa sets down the tray of greasy fries and burgers with a clack, startling you out of your reverie. He motions for you to take one, still looking far too pleased about being stuffed into a plastic seat with damp clothes and a tray full of fried food. He’s got a lovely, pleasant smile on, and its a jarring difference from his usual irritable glowers and sinister smirks. It makes him look gentle.

You help yourself to the food, and spurred on by Shinazugawa’s content expression, you decided to bite the bullet. “So, why did you come back to the staff room?”

The effect is instantaneous. Shinazugawa chokes on his burger, nearly upsetting his soda as he tries to wash it down. You stare, unsure weather to laugh or be genuinely concerned. His face is red now, and you’re not sure if its because of the choking, or whatever possibly embarrassing thing he’s about to say.

“I came back because Kochou told me you were probably still around,” he muttered, eyebrows furrowing as if daring you to contest what he says.

Confused, you point at yourself. “Me? Why me?”

“Because you don’t have an umbrella, idiot.”

“How did you know I didn’t have an umbrella?”

“Because it always sticks out at the end of your tiny ass bag, and I didn’t see it there toda-” Shinazugawa cuts himself off, eyes widening in the realisation that he had maybe said too much.  

“Wow, you’re really perceptive Shinazugawa-san,” you say, somewhat awestruck. Shingazugawa flushes an even darker red, the colour of his burning cheeks vibrant against his pale hair. You can’t help but smile at the display. “Thank you,” you say honestly, “you’re a really nice person. I can’t imagine anyone else coming all the way back to the office just to help their colleague.”

Shinazugawa gawks at you, the embarrassment on his face shifting to something nearing incredulity. “You-” he begins, voice halting as if he’s trying to reign in his emotions. “You’re such a fucking idiot.”

You draw back, offended. And just when you thought you guys were finally getting along. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you’re an idiot,” Shinazugawa says, his voice growing louder with agitation with every word. “You think I’d go all the way back there for just anybody? You think I’m just trying to be nice?”

You leant back as far as you could in the tiny seat, very confused about Shinazugawa’s mounting anger, and very uncomfortable about the stares the two of you were getting. “Uh… Weren’t you…?”

“No!” he snarls, slapping a hand to his forehead.

“Oh. Uh, then why-”

“I LIKE YOU, YOU IDIOT,” Shinazugawa snaps, slamming his hand down on the table, with a resounding smack.

Ok now, everyone was staring.

Oh my god.

Shinazugawa hides his face in his hand, either from embarrassment, exasperation, or a mixture of both. Hesitantly, you reach towards him to pat his arm for comfort. He grabs your hand, lightning fast, before you could touch him, and the sudden warmth of his touch makes you jump. “You thought I hated you? Why? What the fuck did I do wrong? Kanae was all like ’maybe you’re being too intense’ so I tried to stop looking at you so much, but then you looked sad anyway so fuck Kanae’s advice and-” You reach out and set a hand over his mouth, effectively stopping him to the disappointed murmurs from the gossip hungry Mcdonalds customers, cuing in onto your drama.

In any case, you didn’t think your heart could take any more of these sudden revelations. You were sure your face was just as red as his, or even more so. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice wavering. “I totally didn’t realise. Guess I really am an idiot huh?”

Shinazugawa’s eyes widened. Peeling your hand gently away from his mouth, he shook his head ferociously. “No, you’re not. Don’t- You’re not an idiot. You’re just too fucking dense about this kind of stuff.” His grip on your hand tightened to a comforting squeeze. “But I like that about you anyway.”

“Wha- you do?”

“Yeah. I like a lot of things about you.”

“Really?”

“You’re a really fucking good cook too.”

You blush even harder at that, unable to stop the smug smile on your face. You knew no one could resist your ohagi! Shinazugawa gives an endeared, lopsided smile at your expression.

“Make that for me again sometime.”

“Oh, sure!” you say, smiling back at him. To your surprise, he rolls his eyes.

“Don’t make them if you, ya know, don’t wanna or something,” he says softly, and you catch what he means for once.

“Hey! I don’t make ohagi for just anybody you know!”

                                                           —

Shinazugawa continues to hold your hand as the two of you leave the Mcdonalds, and you let him, the two of you blushing and smiling like misbehaving teenagers.

Behind you, someone wolf whistles at the two of you, and someone else cheers, probably having sat through the entire of the two of your very vocal confession scene.

At that Sanemi whips around, teeth bared and ready to fight whichever poor soul it was. Urgently, you tug on his hand, hoping to prevent a McMassacre.  Surprisingly, he allows you to lead him out obediently, but he still keeps turning back to shoot the other customers death glares as he goes.  

You sigh to yourself, unable to stop the amused smile creeping up on your face. Just what did you get yourself into?

[adorabledonutunicorn]

New Eyes

CW: Some internalized homophobia

Warning: This is 15 pages on Google Docs so it’s long. This is a combination of poems I’ve written over the past year or so (if my timeline is correct) about realizing and processing through some of my past crushes. It took me til version 4 to shift my perspective and not be ashamed of how I felt about these people. It’s kind of depressing to think that it took me no less than 4 years to get rid of the shame surrounding my sexuality, and even still I have my days, but in this case it makes for a nice arc that comes to accept everything by the end. In case you’re interested here’s a brief background on each person. I’m gonna go off since it’s already the length of a chapter of a book lmao.

1. She is literally the reasons for all of this. She was someone who I’ve known since middle school because we were in the “accelerated math group” together. She was always popular, but something always struck me differently about her. During our sr year of high school I sent her a message on Facebook and we had a few conversations on there. We were the only girls in our math class by this time and tbh we had more conversations online than we ever did in-person...we even sat next to each other in class omfg.

2. This one is about a friend I met in college. She was pretty, full of joy, and has a nice smile so I’m a very simple person when it comes to being attracted to people lol. I forced myself to get over it quickly and I’m thankful we still talk sometimes despite never really hanging out outside of the Christian group we were in lol.

3. Damn, this one’s about the friend referenced in “To see her smile again”. She’s literally just too perfect and the day I realized I got butterflies when she walked into the room was the day I fully realized/accepted that okay there’s more to me than being straight. I still don’t know how or why she loved me so well.

4. This one is about a friend I met in college, literally on the first day I was there. We were both in the same orientation group and were both so awkward we somehow stuck around together all 4 years lmao. Idk if she’s just awkward around me only or everyone, but by the end I could feel some kind of unspoken tension between us, especially after we went to see a play for the theatre class we took that was about Stonewall lol. A part of me wanted to say something but another part of me thought that maybe she was in a different place in the same journey of discovering her sexuality. The funniest part is that on Valentine’s Day I think a year ago we DM’ed on Instagram for 5 hours str8 (gay).

5. Aah yes, just another one of my Twitter crushes. Jk the first Twitter crush oooh! It took me like a good 6 months to fully accept said crush and like another 6 months to fully get over it. Truly I wish her all the best and all the healing.

V1.0

Once upon a time, These eyes grazed the truth

They saw the surface They saw someone With so much purpose

A life with a heart Transcending barriers and A mind with the ability To achieve great things

A person so pure Hiding their true self within Yet solid and confident in Serving

It was this willingness Intelligence Freedom To get lost in music and dance Goodness Integrity That led me to believe You were one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen.

And this, Is the truth that these eyes Could see

Objectively, Honestly, Truthfully, As transparently as Any teacher Any observer Any friend Knew you to be.

Yet still, My mind seems To have forsaken me.

What I know now Is what I failed to admit then What I replay in my head Is what I am slowly learning To accept within

It brings me shame To let these emotions Finally come in

And it brings me pain, Because that's not how I want to remember How and why This was perhaps, the "best" end.

I want to remember The objective observations The person we all saw, Not just me

I want to remember Rightfully, The words you said to me

I want to remember How I tried to look inside you So deeply

And how you gracefully Eloquently Opened up to me.

All I hope Is that these memories mean At least half of what they do to you As they do to me.

Even if I Can now look in this mirror And see, Say these words to myself Breathe And let them be,

I will never forget What you meant To everyone You met.

But because I tried To look so deep Because I tried To love you as you were, As you are I ended up finding something Only these eyes now Could see.

I cannot say That I fell in love With a fantasy

Because love Is so vast and deep

But there was A new feeling inside of me An emotion I would hide Because I never wanted it to be Outside For anyone To see.

I look back at these moments That replay inside my mind From every bathroom anxious tear I cried Unknowingly Became the catalyst For this "why"

Why was I so anxious And afraid? But that won't explain Why did I even feel The way that I did?

I didn't want to I pushed it down So easily It took me almost 5 years To finally accept This story That lingered inside of me.

Once I see A heart, soul, human life To love, I jump in wholeheartedly

Because I guess That is just who I am, Who I was made to be.

But I didn't expect That I'd be here Confronting these Treacherous conflicting feelings That to the casual observer Make it seem like It was all for me, Self-motivated Self-intentioned Just to set my eyes on something I could not define At the time.

If not me If I can't believe it, I hope you know Remember And see That regardless of what I felt The words we never said Still give you more Than a thousand reasons To keep on breathing And to keep on being The beautiful person We all knew You'd grow to be.

V2.0

Imagine What this heart can do Imagine What this heart can feel What these eyes Can see inside Before the mind Redraws the lines.

Imagine God's truth Willfully entering the soul Revealing more

Than I could ever know But all that I feel Is beyond words.

Imagine That what is beyond words Is not beyond shame

In fact, Shame has now met these emotions And tainted this love, The love the Lord has given To this heart of mine

This love that was pure Of good intention Is now questioned, Because of the reality, My reality, The way my mind sees

I can only perceive What these eyes gaze upon And the brain processes, filters, Through its many recognized colors

I cannot see What was not meant for me And what is Beyond me.

With these eyes, Imperfect and perhaps blind, They let me look upon a face Labeling it within me as shame Instead of grace

I used to be able to see, What I thought so innocently, Now a darkened fiend Of what was made A friend

What has now surfaced Became lies What has harbored Is judgment Internally, And nocturnal I have become

This is merely Not what I wanted to see But rather A predator where it meets its prey Onlooking the target Ready to strip Its life away

But here, This life is dignity Of the soul across the room Once the prime and primitive Instincts and defense mechanisms activate, There is no more reason, No way That words will ever be able To explain.

This Feels lost Feels lonely Like no one but me Will understand clearly That I love Deeply Wholly I dare say beautifully Whether or not these feelings Are just my feelings Or beyond Only my reality.

Because reality Is subjective Different between both you and me But somehow still We may find common ground Where the images our minds outline Overlap and see the same

It is here, where more than I Can finally understand. It is here, Where words are no longer the enemy But the potion and antidote To this shame

For this shame Has met humility Vulnerability The courage To be me

Even if The whole world will never know I know the whole world Will never understand, I still stand With my heart tall Convicted with truth Rooted in the Lord's Truth That you are so beyond and Better than beautiful It fills me With awe.

V3.0

These new eyes that have seen Change unfolding Have also seen Love unraveling.

From all the sweetness And fondness Of pure untarnished memories, To what I don't know if I know How to see,

This is me Raw and untouched Naked and ashamed To have loved The friend who was Never meant For me.

Blessed was I To have found one So faithful and kind For once not out of reach But yet still Out of my league With all the riches Of intelligence to joy And of course A smile that was not For the faint of heart to see

I have loved before, For it was here I found love In the purest form First, foremost, Of friendship

It was here Where every good thing That resonated inside me Grew tenfold With this unknown blessing That I had fathomed to know Beyond blessings ever received.

Yet, Little did I know, It took courage To love this way. Selfless Never ill-intentioned I tried to be Until the end.

It was generously That she gave me And so kindly Yet humbly I tried to give back Never feeling like What I gave was enough, As she so gracefully Accepted everything Speaking to me without words It was more than enough.

There is not a single soul That I have met Who could ever be Her Anything like her, Who could also be Or will likely ever be My friend.

It was on the days We left, Where our presences departed Where I had no regrets

But it was then When I realized The sadness and grief Was yet the loss Of love, Including the Lord's Love.

It was she, Who lamentably taught me How butterflies felt Inside me All the way To fear and shame Of this very discovery

As well as The best hugs Any person may probably ever give me.

There is no one like her, And there is no one better for her Than her husband, And this I know, It is he who I know To be faithful, kind, Courageous, righteous, Steadfast and Unconditionally loving

But somehow, I ask the Holy Spirit Did you bring her Here To teach me About love, faithfulness, and joy? Did you bring her Here To show me light in the world Once more? Did you bring her here To have a friend for once, To give me courage to speak, To love a friend deeply? And did you bring her here So that I could love so deeply That I found this part of me?

I can still say To this day That I have No regrets About anything I Have written or said To this friend, The greatest gift, A catalyst For this journey, And the one who gives The best hugs With the sweetest smiles I’ll ever be blessed to receive.

V4.0

Once where A new era began, A seed was planted In the mere probability of our existence

We did not find each other We stumbled upon one another In a way where awkwardness Was the main contributor To our similarities

Yet you stayed And I of course, stayed Somehow we relished In a relieving familiarity

Perhaps, It brought us together For that reason.

But what we had And what we have Has grown from a seed,

Watered, waiting We are here Where I never thought we would be: Friends now far away, Yet still able to relate

But even then What does it mean? It may not mean much of anything.

For a fleeting feeling Lines the nerves of my being Extremities tense While the rest of me at peace

For this is the only awkwardness We have known to overcome, Time and time again, —I never know Where your thoughts go

There is so much to be learned So much we will never know But in each other, We have still grown.

Maybe this is the best feeling I would never have known If I were not able To express it freely

Maybe one day Our lives not our hearts Will collide Telling the same story Of who we were always meant to be.

V5.0

To Jade, A jewel of always Every color but green,

Your story is a wonderful epic, Tales of travels That never grow old

They write an unapologetic narrative Of every highest mountain top And every lowest valley

You have climbed as high Just as much as you Have fallen down and cried

And I, I so wished to see and to learn Of every broken piece to your life That you thought you needed to earn

But I, Even with good intentions Fell into a hole I could not climb

I embraced every part At the expense of my joy Only adding To my despair

But you taught me What strength and courage Could be

To say it is easy To wake up every day Without the one Who loved you most Is irreparable As much as he was irreplaceable

To say the scars it leaves behind Are mere wounds of the flesh to be tended to Would simply be a lie

But still I Fell in love with What it could look like To see you wake up every morning And choose life

For there is nothing more brave As the story you write And continue to write.

I still stand by And wish to look upon your life To see how far you've come

But at least I've passed beyond The emotions I feared would last forever

Back then I was confused Back then I was still learning And I thank you for helping me Find who I am

Even if I can never say I fell as deep for love's sake, If I ever find you Stumble upon Or see you I will find the reddest rose And gift it to you

For the honor and memory of your brother And for the honor and memory of you Because sometimes words Will never be enough To describe what will always Be blooming in you (And how you've allowed me To blossom too).

Conclusion / V1.5

Without what happened that night These essays would never have turned to poems

Without the words we never said I wouldn’t have these reasons why I write

You are still as beautiful as the day I met you And the day I left you when I accepted You will remain a memory, not a friend meant for forever Or even for a second

But still, I do not hesitate To smile and be embarrassed Knowing now all That I did not know then That brings clarity, closure, and an end.

I never loved you But I definitely liked you Enough to zone in on Every beat of your heart

Enough to make you see Who you were always made to be And how worthy you are To be you, To be everything you are.

And so here I remain, Content and at peace Knowing I am allowed To never-more be ashamed.

[plumwordies]

hello, everyone. i’ve been mulling over this piece for a while now. guess i finally put the time to write it down and hurt myself in the process lmao. this was originally supposed to be a readerxbakugou smut piece, but i got carried away (extremely) and ended up writing a whole angsty backstory to it inspired by the latest bnha chaps. what do you think? should i continue writing?

BURN

PART ONE

Dust.

The word was a relentless thrumming inside Bakugou’s head. He scrubbed some shampoo on his hair until it lathered, some of the substance pouring down his face. In front of him, the shower head was left open, steaming hot water raining down the cold tiles below.

When is the end?

Bakugou leaned his arm to the wall, the water from the shower falling down his body in cascades. His breathing was rough, each exhale emitting a puff of steam inside his small shower. Their small shower.

He thought about his mentors. Best Jeanist was missing. Hawks is wanted after escaping from his imprisonment sentence. Word around says he conspired with the League of Villains — now called the The Paranormal Liberation Front. Eraser Head is confined at the hospital in a comatose state, brought by an intense fight with Shigaraki Tomura, and Endeavor —

Bakugou stopped that train of thought. He turned his head down, teeth gritting hard. The villains were worthless, the whole lot of them. Probably thought everything was just a game. Lives lost, a fun activity. Cities damaged, people drowning in poverty — an entertaining past time. It’s been five months from the devastation already, and Bakugou couldn’t count the amount of heroes found dead. Murdered on the streets by villains or even the angry citizens of Mustafa. Gone were the days of systematic governance and disciplined living. Now, it was a hellhole. The rules were simple: it was a survival game of the fittest.

He guessed Endeavor wasn’t the fittest after all.

The day the number one hero fell was as clear in Bakugou’s mind like it just happened yesterday. Five months ago, him and Deku rushed to the disaster scene like the dumb fucks they were, and ended up being pushed away by Gran Torino.

“Run away, you fools!” Gran Torino yelled.

Little did they know, those would be his last words. Five months later, and his body still hasn’t been found.

Eraser Head rushed to the scene and engaged in an intense battle with Shigaraki Tomura. From the sidelines, Bakugou could do nothing but watch as his teacher fell to the ground from a strong blow by the monster. He fell so hard that the ground beneath him cracked. Bakugou never saw him breathe, and despite the hot anger that was building up in his core, the cold feeling in his hands were evident.

Still, he didn’t stop staring at staring at Eraser Head’s chest. No movement.

“Kacchan, we have to go.” It was Deku, pulling him away. This was unlike him. Deku was usually the type of person to act idiotic and go rogue, but it seems like Gran Torino’s words got to him. They must know something Bakugou didn’t. He saw Deku’s eyes tearing up from the sight of their teacher, yet he still wanted to flee?

Coward.

“Fuck off.” Bakugou violently shrugged his hand off before heading towards their teacher. Suddenly, Shigaraki Tomura landed on Eraser Head’s stomach, giving one final kick to his face. Bakugou saw their teacher’s head jerk to the side, seemingly lifeless.

Deku’s screaming in the background was nothing more than a whisper to Bakugou’s ears as he ran towards Shigaraki Tomura, seeing red. His mouth opened, letting out an angry shout as all the events rushed back to him: the kidnapping, the Nomus —

All Might.

Bakugou lunged for Shigaraki Tomura, right arm pulled pack and poised for a strong explosive blow. The latter merely stared up at him, face morphing into his signature smile.

And then it came.

Numbness. Pure, undiluted numbness, like a part of Bakugou’s body was submerged in deep water — and then nothing.

Pain.

An onslaught of white-hot searing pain wrenched over his body, literally ripping and cracking him apart. It came too fast that Bakugou couldn’t even make a sound. He only stared wide-eyed at his opponent’s face, the last thing he would see before the void.

“When I come back, everything turns to dust. It ends then.” Those were Shigaraki’s final words.

It ends then. It ends now.

This —

Bakugou remembered thinking.

— is Decay.

PART TWO

Bakugou woke up a few hours later in an abandoned building. He was propped up on the coarse wall, sitting. His body was so heavy, and somehow his eyesight was worse. Squinting, he made out a figure — Deku — sitting squat on the ground, facing the opposite way.

“Oi.” Bakugou grunted. He noticed the weakling’s shouders were shaking. “Are you deaf or something? Oi, Deku!” He kicked him in the back, forcing him to look his way.

“What the hell happened?” Bakugou groaned. Speaking hurt him so bad.

Deku’s lower lip quivered, not replying. It took all Bakugou had not to punch him. He was about to shout again at him when the latter spoke in a whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

It was so soft that it was hard to catch.

“What are you on about?” Bakugou began. He saw Deku hitch his breath. “Sorry about what?” He shouted, making him flinch.

“Your arm, Kacchan. Your arm—“ Deku was crying so much that snot and saliva were dribbling down his chin. He scrambled to his knees and put his forehead to the ground.

“I’m so sorry.”

Bakugou then realized he couldn’t feel his arm — the right one, to be exact. He had just dismissed it earlier when he woke up, because his whole body was hurting so bad there wasn’t much distinction. A hollow, tingling feeling was running from his shoulder onwards.

With a sharp intake of breath, he looked down.

It was gone. His arm was gone. Nothing left but a rotten, cracking dry stump.

In all of his existence, Bakugou never doubted his quirk. It helped him immensely. It was strong, and its raw power gave him the comfort he needed as a young boy. It told him what he had was something the world needed.

But for Bakugou’s quirk to work, arms were required. Looks like the world will have to make do with just one.

Bakugou leaned his head on the wall behind him, looking up at the grey cement roof of the building. He didn’t breathe. Breathing felt too much like living.

“After you rushed over to Shigaraki, I used my quirk to get you out of the way.” It was Deku. He stuttered along his sentences. “It wasn’t enough. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t enough.”

“How bad is it?” Deku looked up and saw Bakugou staring down at him. An extended silence passed between them.

Why didn’t it end then?

“I couldn’t stop it... before it reached your face.”

Maybe it could still end now.

With Deku’s statement, Bakugou collapsed to the ground, slowly breathing again. Wisps of dust floated around him as he grinned, staring at the blank cement roof. He thought he was crying, but he felt no wetness down his cheeks. Maybe the decay got to his eyes and he couldn’t cry anymore. Maybe he was, deep inside, but who knows.

So he laughed.

Bakugou laughed while Deku screamed. Laughed as his friend stood up screaming, flailing and kicking rocks around them as he wailed like the crybaby he was. A piece of rubble flew and hit Bakugou in the face.

That’s what they were now: pieces of rubble in this crumbling society.

PART THREE

Bakugou turned the shower faucet until the water slowly dissipated, leaving arrhythmic drips on the floor and the occasional wisp of steam due to the heat. He stepped out of the wet floor, grabbed his towel and hung it around his waist with difficulty. He walked to the mirror, sliding his palm over it to remove the fog.

His image stared back at him, disoriented. The mirror they had was cheap but it was the only one they could afford. Nevertheless, it still served its purpose. Bakugou picked up his toothbrush and laid it on the sink, squeezing some toothpaste on it. He ran it under water and started brushing his teeth.

He was evidently getting skinnier as the days passed. The huge scar on the right sight of his face was turning an ugly grey color, and he was now half blind. His hair was a bit longer and quite dead, and of course the absence of his right arm brought an odd feeling to his body. A phantom limb.

He spit froth on the sink. He was past the stage of wishing it grew back now.

After him and Deku left the building five months ago, they passed by a local convenience store that played live news on their old television. A bunch of people were gathered around it, a nervous chatter among them. He remembered Deku who stopped in his tracks, eyes wide at the broadcast.

“It’s Endeavor!” He shouted. Bakugou looked over his shoulder and saw that it was, indeed, Endeavor. But he was in bad shape.

“Citizens of Mustafa, as of now you can see our number one hero fighting it out with the head of the League of Villains!” The announcer spoke. “He is in critical condition — numerous injuries can be seen in his body and his movements have been slowing down since earlier, but we still hold high hope for our new symbol of peace! Everyone, let’s support him!”

The people around them had mixed emotions. Some were cheering and some were muttering. Bakugou couldn’t help but frown as he stared at the ongoing fight. It was hard to believe that he was the one there earlier, almost dead. He saw Endeavor avoiding a fatal blow from Shigaraki Tomura, and furrowed his eyebrows.

Don’t make the same mistake I did.

The fight went on for a long time, and things weren’t looking good for the hero. Bakugou knew that if he looked at Deku right now the green-haired boy would be standing rigid, chest taut, and fists clenched. His eyes would be shining with hope.

The same hope that Bakugou still holds stupidly.

As always, death comes at an unexpected time. Bakugou knew that firsthand. He knew, yet couldn’t predict it. Nobody in the city could. That’s what made the system so fragile, so easy to break at any given moment.

All it took was a rock.

As Endeavor stepped back, ready to deliver another strong blow, he stepped on a particularly odd shaped rock and threw off his balance. With baited breath, Bakugou saw his own self in the number one hero, who held pride in their own self and quirk, get snuffed out by the waiting hands of injustice.

Bakugou and Deku were stuck on their feet. They weren’t the only ones. Everyone in the whole city were probably the same at that moment — standing, dreaming —

Hoping.

Shigaraki Tomura smiled, and grabbed Endeavor by the wrist.

Bakugou could feel exactly what the number one hero felt at that moment. As he stilled, not able to do anything but watch as decay ran in a current from his arms, to his shoulders, to his throat, and to his head.

In just a second, Shigaraki Tomura managed to destroy a whole nation.

PART FOUR

A few minutes after the broadcast shut down suddenly, the news switched to a live press conference. All Might was there in the center, holding a microphone. Numerous journalists were around the room, clicks and flashes of their cameras in a frenzy.

“We declare a nationwide surrender.” He began. “The villains have managed to dominate the heroes in such a short amount of time, and with the fall of our current number one hero—“ His voice cracked. “We cannot ensure that the heroes have the capability to ensure safety of the citizens. We don’t know what they are planning, or what they will do next.”

An onslaught of questions were shouted in his way, but he held up a hand to them, silencing the room immediately.

“All we are asking for is for the people to fend for themselves momentarily until the heroes can establish a new system to follow. That’s all. Thank you.” The statement was so absurd, so stupid that it left more questions than answers. The whole room erupted in chaos, but All Might calmly put the microphone down on the podium, and walked out.

Two symbols of hope down in one day.

This was it? Was this what Bakugou’s whole life led to? War?

Bakugou eyed Deku who was right beside him. His head was hung down, and no emotion could be deduced on his face. He just saw All Might — his god, his father figure, and his mentor, selling all of them to the villains like pig meat and running away.

It ends then.

By the time the tears fell from Deku’s eyes, Bakugou was gone.

[cyprinoides]

romeo et juliette costumes

at some point people on the retj discord were talking abt how the costumes are just chucked somewhere in the time space continuum and now I’m apparently analysing where in time those costumes are from so read my findings under the cut

ok so first up we have Guilietta’s white dress from the dvd version.

if we’re going by decade I’d say her dress is 1800s esque because it appears to be made of light, delicate fabric and has a long skirt train. As well as this, the silhouette is slender and the 1790s were a transition period from the wigs and bum rolls so by the 1800s, the silhouette was different. idk if you can see it in the photo but the waist is high and the bodice is short which was also typical for the decade. Of course, there’s many aspects of this costume that doesn’t match up, for example there is no corset and no sleeves. Corsets were still very much a thing as it gave u the nice waist, supported women’s upper bodies and helped their posture (as opposed to the belief that D: corsets bad it crush my ribs :,( bc that was men shitting on women’s fashion choices, a thing that occurred again when the crinoline was introduced) and sleeves were generally elbow length. I’m not even gonna talk about hair or makeup or whatever because that would be d i f f i c u l t

next we got mercuzio also with the dvd costume

alright so i’d place this one like early 1830s somewhere in Europe idk. During this time people were getting a bit more flamboyant with fancy patterns and layered fabric because imported fabric was chic and cool which I guess is represented in this costume (??) Anyway, the collar is high and the waist is cinched which resembles the silhouette for men basically throughout the 1800s, the only differences being length of coats and position of the waist. In the 1830s, the waist was low but still higher than ur natural waist which is the same case in this costume. u cant see it very clearly but the edges of the shirt is padded which also happened in the 1830s but was more common with the hem of women’s dresses. 

in this photo you can see that the trousers are long and bunched at the ankles and the sleeve is thicc at the shoulder which are both accurate to the decade. Now for inaccuracies, uhh there’s only 1 sleeve and he’s wearing a belt which were only created in the 1900s. Also, its a bit too slutty for lack of better explanation and he kinda looks like what movies tell you pirates wore (altho jack sparrows costume from pirates of the Caribbean was tailored to johnny depp’s imagination and flamboyant tendencies).

now we have 2010 Juliette’s costume

I honestly don’t really know but if I had to place it I think her dress is late 1830s in western europe - there was so much shit going on in that decade so early 1830s and late 1830s are hella different. Firstly, the waist is in the natural position which only came to fashion in the late 1830s and the bodice is pointy. Also I think her dress was floor length ish which would’ve been accurate but i can’t remember lmao. Also, its minimalist both in design and colour and has narrow, long sleeves which was a result of Queen Victoria coming to rule in 1837 and making modesty and minimalism cool. And for inaccuracies... there is no corset or big skirt and crinoline and the sleeves are off shoulder ???

onto 2010 and tour Meructio’s costume (the coat stuff goes for Romeo and Benvolio’s long coats as well btw)

Aight so this costume is pretty 1830s but specifically French. The coat resembles the greatcoat - which was a coat for being awesome and to be worn over ur other stuff and another tailcoat or waistcoat - because of the length and lining. The trousers are long and bunched at the ankle which hints at early 1830s and before u ask I’m not gonna talk about colour either because Im lazy lmao. The polo underneath may seem inaccurate at first but it could pass as what men of that time considered to be part of their under wear (similar to a woman’s chemise). The length of the sleeves is correct and the wrists are cinched (altho you cant see it in this picture but look at a video of je reve or smth and you’ll see) the cuffs of the shirt are also longer than the coat and when they’re longer than standard they were considered as ‘french cuffs’. 

here’s a photo of typical french 1830s greatcoats before I get into the inaccuraces. Alright so men’s coats - as you can see in the above picture) have volume to the skirt because that was the in fashion silhouette at the time but in the costume it is flat, the belt is there to perhaps give the waist shape but belts weren’t invented in the 1830s and the position of the belt is lower than men’s clothes were waisted at the time. Moving onto the shirt, it should have ruffles and the collar should be up and the sleeve hole where the shoulders are attached were very low in the 1830s so as to fit beneath coat sleeves but as you’ll notice (if you find another photo where he’s not wearing the coat) the shoulder is not that low. As well as this there’s no cravat and although the sleeves are the correct length in the coat, it has a rly big triangle cut? Also, since the shirt would’ve been considered as underlayers, it was scandalous and improper for those to be seen in public (but does it really count as an inaccuracy if its kinda in character?)

And now we have 2010 and tour Tybalt costume

This costume is 1830s Britain i guess??? So the coat resembles a sporting coat because of the length which was generally around knee height because you’d be hunting or riding horses and stuff in it. British hunting coats in particular were commonly red (I know its bc Capulets but it supports my fashion analysis) so you wouldn’t accidentally shoot ur friend when your out hunting in the woods together. Again the trousers are the right length for the 1830s and the shirt would be the underlayers. The shirt buttons are also the correct size for that time and the weird back collar thing was common for coats bc they were warm and were like very mini capes. And altho that thing on his waist looks weird it could actually be considered as a cummerbund which served the some of the same purposes as women’s corsets but was smaller - here’s a photo of a period accurate one

inaccuracy time! there are no buttons on the coat and no snatched waist. I don’t really want to write it again but its the same case with the shirt and the collar as Mercutio’s costume although in Tybalt’s costume the collar is buttoned up all the way so it looks higher and resembles more 1820s undershirts meaning that the lack of ruffles would be accurate.

And that’s all for now maybe I’ll make a part 2. Hope you enjoyed and plz help me figure out when all these costumes are

[sekoui]

@librarikay replied to your post “i can’t wait for yasmina’s season bc she’s genuinely the most...”

ah i just wonder. what relates you to her? i’ve seen someone mention how yasmina’s probably the least of the sana’s to get a lot of screen time so i’m curious! if you want to explain it of course

so there’s a few things i think i’d touch on when it comes to yasmina’s relatability, especially during s3 and despite lack of screen time sorry this got long 1. the way she answers/fields questions about her faith yasmina doesn’t carry this “i need to explain/defend islam” albatross with her at all times. the other sanas, in my opinion, seem oddly defensive often and that comes off like they always think they’re under attack. perhaps it was on purpose but it does rub me the wrong way and i think there’s a better way to approach questions, no matter how much they might be off putting to you, and yasmina captures that. during the scene where robbe asks about homosexuality and islam, yasmina doesn’t try to waste her time saying “islam thinks it’s fine” or “islam is about loving people” because the truth is, traditional islam is not accepting of homosexuality and most “major” abrahamic religions aren’t. what i liked about her answer was that she took what robbe said he believed in and tried to show him that it doesn’t matter what the fundamentals say, what matters is how you practice. her argument was that “evolution” doesn’t condone homosexuality as it doesn’t allow for reproduction, but people are gay and she supports them anyway because the fundamentals don’t dictate every decision she makes, the same way evolution wouldn’t dictate someone’s entire belief system and then afterwards, when she apologizes for her response in that moment. robbe asks her what islam says, again, and if there have been any updates. the sanas i’ve seen so far have kind of reiterated that islam says “what it’s always said,” that people are to be loved/respected/all are equal blah blah blah. yasmina on the other hand kind of rolls her eyes and smiles and shrugs. a very “who cares?” kind of answer because her islam is how she practices it. for me, this was the most relatable answer, not some cheesy cop-out answer that attempts to make islam look better than it is. i love my faith but i can acknowledge its flaws. 2. her very realistic, natural approach to the party scene i think the actress herself asked not to have yasmina in parties (?) but i’m not sure where i heard that. anyway, yasmina isn’t shown in party scenes often, especially when drinking is involved. i found myself often avoiding social situations with a lot of co-ed mixing or drinking, so to see her show up at a social event (the party early on in the season) and excuse herself before the party got bigger/more exciting seemed relatable. it just matched my own experiences, where i’d show up for a little bit and once the drinking started/got heavy, i’d leave. 3. her demeanor yasmina is navigating in a society where hijab is allowed in some places and not in others. so she is catering her identity to the rules but will also throw on a hoodie here or there at school. she embraces her faith in a way that fits for her. 4. the weed thing yasmina wasn’t involved with the weed thing because she was never at the party at the start. that to me was a major moment of relatability (i watched wtfock before og/skamfr etc. so i never realized it was her character that ended up with the drugs). she seems to be really mindful of where she is and how she interacts with people + what potential social situations could pressure her in ways she isn’t comfortable with. again, relatable! i didn’t smell weed until i was in college lmao 5. her friendships yasmina is authentic and warm and loving. when she’s confronted by amber, she doesn’t overly defend islam or arab culture/misconceptions, she kind of looks at amber like she’s the wild one for even thinking those things applied to her (ie the honor killing comment). her friendships with the girls are rich and genuine and not on this basis of “i need to show you that i’m like you,” and instead fits somewhere between genuine respect and understanding. it’s the same with robbe. her friendship with robbe is so real and soft and gentle. it’s understanding and respectful. they agree but they do so in a way that fits their personalities. when she sees he’s struggling with the entire sander situation (which, btw, i love that she was involved/in the know/there for him despite her friendship with britt. i believe other sanas were not?), she offered to do his part of the homework to help him out. she serves as someone who reminds him of things, gently and often (like with the stickers) without making robbe feel like an ass for forgetting. she really helped him out there and to me, that was such a powerful characteristic on her part. she’s also observant! the gift she gets moyo during the xmas exchange is so cute and sweet. 6. girl power in the party scene, when she’s leaving, she doesn’t shyly ask the boys to move or make space for her. aaron and moyo are given a look and the queen parts them like the read sea and moves through, then smiles at robbe on her way out. she is feminine and commanding (a lot like imane from skamfr tbh) and i love that about her. it makes her super relatable. she takes leadership head on. 7. she doesn’t sacrifice who she is just to “fit in” i mentioned this a little bit earlier but really, yasmina doesn’t have to cut out aspects of her muslim upbringing to be with everyone. she also doesn’t hold tightly to traditional aspects of islam that are outdated and frankly ignorant. she is friends with robbe for who he is and is affirming of who he is. she attends christmas parties and you don’t see this weird push/pull between her and belgian society the way you do with some of the other characters and their teachers. that was a writing choice that made yasmina feel more relatable to me, that she’s not constantly the target of something when the subtle shift between her hijab/non hijab moments are enough to comment on the push/pull between her muslim identity and her belgian identity. sorry this was probably longer than you expected sklnfslkfdn but i think that’s everything  

[theharellan]

101 DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS | not accepting

for the sake of reducing the number of ooc posts i’m answering these all in one and just @ing the people who asked the questions! thank you for them all!

if you sent me one of these btw and rbed this meme yourself and i didn’t send you something, please let me know! i want to send you things back and must have missed you reblogging the meme. this includes non-mutuals.

1. How did you get into Dragon Age? | asked by @kaaras-adaar & @dreamerlavellan​

Sort of by accident, actually. It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in university (2011) and summertime is generally a time of inactivity and depression because I cannot tolerate the weather here. My dad happened to own Origins and I picked it up because??? Fantasy? RPG?

Starting the game I saw you could play as a dwarf, who have been my favourites in fantasy since a child as The Hobbit is among my favourite books. Then after that I fell in love with the worldbuilding for dwarves and Gorim, my first actual Dragon Age love. I was more or less hooked after that. DA was actually not my first Bioware game, I was obsessed with Jade Empire as a kid so like Origins appealed to me immediately despite being far less fun to play than literally any other Bioware game I’ve ever played. The characters and world more than made up for it.

I beat it relatively quickly and my dad bought Dragon Age II which had come out earlier that day, actually against my suggestion because I’d heard it wasn’t good. And in this instance my dad forgetting something I said turned out for the best because I ended up enjoying DAII more in some respects. While it took me a while to join the fandom as a content producer I was a consumer and certified DA trash from then on.

2. Have you finished all three games? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

Kskjdfs yes. I’ve beaten each at least 4 times, but probably more like 8. The only thing I haven’t played are some of the Origins DLC because as much as I enjoy my replays I am so ready to be out by the end of the game (and I have the worst luck with Awakening bugs) and I also don’t have Sebastians DLC b/c his never goes on sale individually and I refuse to spend more than like $4 on him.

3. How long did it take you to finish the series? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

I honestly don’t know. I think it took me like a week to beat Inquisition without 100%ing it, I’d say my first playthroughs all probably took about that long. I tend not to do everything in my first playthrough. Like shard collecting didn’t happen until round two, etc.

7. Favorite DA:O backstory? | asked by @dreamerlavellan & @fatefaulted

I’ve played through all of them and I enjoy them all except Cousland, but my favourite is Aeducan. I enjoy the politics, the culture, the aesthetic of Orzammar. I love Gorim Saelac and the surprising amount of depth to this character who is designed to be thrown away after the prologue. I love how it ties you to the Darkspawn threat in a bigger way than any of the origins accomplish. I love how it ties you to the Orzammar plot later in the game, and playing Aeducan first is probably one reason why I adore that branch of the game. It’s a good origin that establishes its world really well and has great characters to boot.

11. Share a pic of your favorite OC from any DA game. | asked by @dreamerlavellan

I just want to share pics of my girl and Solas’ future husband.

Ian Lavellan, non-Inquisitor written by @theshirallen

Thora Cadash, dwarven Inquisitor and default Inquisitor for this blog written by... me lmao.

22. Favorite DA2 party combo? | asked by @fatefaulted

My main Hawke is a mage Hawke, so this party is horrendously imbalanced, but: Varric, Merrill, Isabela. They all just like each other and I think that’s neat. Although in act one my favourite is probably Carver, Merrill, Isabela / Varric. Unfortunately the game doesn’t want me to have a warrior in my party.

24. Favorite main-story quest from DA:I? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

It’s hard to pick between In Hushed Whispers and In Your Heart Shall Burn. I love seeing the red lyrium’d companions and the dark future of Thedas, and speculating on what happened in the intervening year. I love reflecting on what it must do for the Inquisitor to see that and have it be undone. I think it sets up the rest of the game really well, and in ways Champions of the Just doesn’t do quite as well.

In Your Heart Shall burn is a simpler quest but I think the power and emotions in the quest are so raw. Playing this the first time was riveting and I was on the edge of my seat. The triumph of closing the Breach, the strangeness of your first encounter with Cole (whose appearance at the gates is another reason I prefer IHW tbh, I think it’s more tension building than Dorian’s), Corypheus, crawling through the snow. Capping it off with The Dawn Will Come and the journey to Skyhold idk, it’s just such an emotional high point in the series that every time I replay I get goosebumps.

25. Favorite DA:I place? | asked by @fatefaulted

It’s a tie between the Frostback Basin and the Emerald Graves. I love the lore in both, as elf trash I prefer the lore in the graves especially if I can include the Din’an Hanin into that category. But the Avvar lore and Ameridan is also Very Good, and while I adore the giant trees of the graves the Frostback Basin clearly was able to have more resources poured into its design, and as a result the different sections of the map have so much more character.

A close runner-up is the Hinterlands, as I think the quests there are fun and it feels like home. I enjoy returning to it. Which is good, b/c I’ve played through it... a lot... I think loving it might be a coping mechanism, but also I love the vibe of the early game that’s best captured in the Hinterlands.

32. Favorite DLC mission overall? | asked by @fatefaulted

Trespasser is up there with Shivering Isles as my favourite DLC ever produced. Its hits every emotional beat I think it needed to hit, set up the next game with greater detail and intrigue than the initial epilogue, and I’m honestly dying to get to replay it again on Thora despite what it does to my nerves. The first time I played it I could feel my heart beating faster like wtf me.

37. Blood magic: yes or no? | asked by @hopewrought​

Would I use it myself? No. Morally I think it can be reprehensible but also neutral, much like any other magic in the game. In certain characters I think even if used for good it may encourage unhealthy habits, but I think it can be learned to be engaged with in better ways.

59. Who was written really poorly? | asked by @theshirallen you can’t hide behind anon I know it was you

Oghren fucking Kondrat. When I think about the reasons Origins is my least favourite game he is among them. With Oghren there was a really good chance to portray an alcoholic abuse victim, suffering from severe mental health issues, and still mourning his wife, with the respect it deserves. Instead he just... is a gross sexist dwarf and his alcoholism is mostly played for jokes. And then he comes back in Awakening and... continues to be a gross sexist dwarf whose alcoholism is mostly played for jokes.

There could have been some really interesting stuff with Oghren, the Warrior caste of dwarves I think would suffer from issues similar to qunari warriors, where when they can no longer fill the purpose society has dictated they must serve, what then? They can’t do anything but fight. There could be comradery with Sten, or perhaps Zevran or Alistair, or any of the companions who have had the path their lives took dictated to them by societal forces they had no say in (even if they are happy with that direction). There are snippets of good stuff in here, the line “let us show them our hearts, Warden, and then show them theirs” is one of the best of the good-byes the game offers us imo. It’s a shame about what came before.

Like there are other characters, such as Sera, who I think were done dirty by their writers, but Sera at least got some growth in the DLC and there were attempts to address criticism of her character. Oghren in Awakening was just kind of a take two of an already poorly-done arc.

60. Who do you wish had been given more story? | asked by @hopewrought​

I wish Briala had more, like that she had some impact on the story in universes where Gaspard isn’t crowned with her as his puppetmaster. She and the elves reappears in that but not if you reunite her with Celene or exile her, and I think it would’ve been neat. I also wish she’d had a chance to interact with Solas in some small way given how many parallels were drawn by one of his own agents during Masked Empire.

I also wish we had more about dwarves in general in 2 and Inquisition. We get some great lore in Inquisition that was set up in 2, but with our only dwarf companion being Varric, who honestly has a relationship with his race that at times is comparable to Sera’s, it pulls a few of its punches. I really think they have dwarves set up to be important players in the next game, with their architecture featuring heavily in the dev diary, buuut no dwarves to be seen. So who knows. Just give me dwarves in the next game who aren’t Varric Bioware pls. Let me kiss one maybe.

61. Favorite NPC? | asked by @kaaras-adaar​

I’m not going to count advisors even though they kinda are NPCs and I’m going to answer one for each game so uhh...

Origins - Anora

DA2 - Feynriel

DA:I - Krem

Bonus - Lord Woolsley, the only unproblematic DA character

63. Best story moment? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

It’s a tie between the journey to Skyhold and the talk with Solas at the end of Trespasser and the resulting disbanding of the Inquisition (if you so choose). I really can’t separate them because I think the reason Trespasser works so well is how it calls back to the very beginning of Inquisition and that moment with Solas in the snow. It’s triumphant and sad, something’s ending, the fellowship is breaking, but you know all of you will continue to work towards a better world apart.

In DA:O I think it’d be saying good-bye before the final battle and in DA2 I think the moment where you can tell the Arishok he was right to take in the elves who killed that guardmen is good. Probably one of the reasons why I think Hawke-Arishok work so well as a protagonist-antagonist combination.

81. Favorite fanfic? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​

I don’t read a lot of fanfic, actually. Save what I read on here, which I do count, but idk if other people do.

My favourite writers to read are @theshirallen​, obviously. Joly wants to tweakIan’s personal quest but I think the version they have written now is still very good and you can find it here. I love reading Peace’s stuff and find their smut especially spicy in the best possible way, you can find a Merrill/f!Mahariel piece here! Gaia doesn’t write on Tumblr much these days, but she wrote a wonderful Tug/Sketch (the companions from Leliana’s Song) that you can find here.

I follow so many talented writers and I can’t list them all but here are a few I can fire off real fast: @theshirallen / @ghilannainguideme / @seahaloed / @sabraelin / @valorcorrupt / @mercysought / @hopewrought / @ofrevas / @skyheld have all moved me with their words at some point, be it in fic or rp.

82. Favorite fanart/fanartist? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

Again I just can’t choose jsdfks.

The easiest way is to just link my Solas fanart tag. Obviously this favours Solas artists, however, so also here’s a link to thedaswlw where there’s a boatload of amazing fanart all of wlw.

Of people I’m mutuals with I know @abracafockyou, @kaaras-adaar, @dalathin (currently inactive but I gotta link them), and @syntharts​ are all very talented artists.  I’m also a big fan of destinyapostacy, nipuni, elbenherzart, starscollected (on twitter), and many more.

97. What’s your favorite DA mod? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​ & @hopewrought​

I’ll chose one as many as I want to apparently from each game again, b/c why not?

DA:O - I have to admit I find this game hard to mod because nothing can really salvage the gameplay or look of the game. I need Better Dwarf Model so I don’t have to look at the odd dwarf proportions in the game (the women have arms for days). Mostly I have armour mods. I like Grey Wardens of Ferelden so I can match Alistair in the final batte and have everyone in uniforms in Awakening. I do like Kirkwall Exports because I can put Zevran in the robes of the notorious pirate tho. I haven’t used this mod yet but I also love this mod I retweeted this morning.

DA2 - Again, I don’t mod 2 very much. You could probably make some kind of chart for correlating my enjoyment of a game versus my urge to mod it, with the more I love a game means I want to mod it more. With 2 I enjoy the combat and overall design of the characters more so I mostly use a couple of tweaks, my favourite is Ishs Scarf for Merrill which just adds a cute blue scarf to Merrill and hides the fact that elves in this game have weirdly long necks. Oh and a mod to fix the weird hand dirt.

DA:I - Equal Opportunity Solas mod, I bought the game again on PC just to use it. Being able to play Solas/Ian for screencaps was everything tbh. Other mods I enjoy are More Banter, which while I have better luck with banter it is nice to be able to count on it. I installed it this latest pt and I have heard location comments that have never triggered before. Black Hair for Everyone has changed my life because finally Thora doesn’t have grey hair. No Dirt Buildup is also amazing, as the dirt can cause some really weird blotting on PCs that’s especially noticeable on dark-skinned Inquisitors.

99. Where would you live (Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches etc?) | asked by @heysales​​

Probably Ferelden. It is fantasy England and hey if I make it past Inquisition maybe nothing will ever happen there again. Somewhere in the Free Marches might also be chill. Not Kirkwall. Maybe Starkhaven? Honestly tho I just want to live in the Frostback Basin. Have a spirit friend. Shake hands with nugs.

101. If you could meet your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor, what would you say? | asked by @dreamerlavellan​

If I met Thora I’d tell her I’m proud of her. She’d be confused, but that’s ok.

[sassytspoemsnraps]

I’m literally feeling like I’m living in a dream😇😇😇

⭐️⭐️⭐️My life is like a fairly tale to say the least,

but then as bad as they were at one point I was

“Dancing with the devil” in 🏜 Death Valley🌙🌙🌙

About to tackle my deamons one by one. Head on..

Let that resignate it was a flight situation but I had to

fight I had the strength and courage to look at every

situation and subsequently subjectivity decide. This

was all mere negative thoughts or self conscious

insecurities coming to the surface. The little critics of

your own self. It’s like a sick and twisted game and

your the Joker your playing urself honey. And your

Depriving yourself of what you truly deserve and

what’s out there waiting for you that you were

craving and literally everything that you could ever

asked and hoped for was your reality like your reality

Was about to get better than the dream and you’re

living in a fairytale, Queen of the Underground.

Remind yourself your the one that you very so

created and things were about to get real and I just

had to dig myself out of this after I conquered all my

insecurities and got my Ass back home to heal and

recover from this madness nightmare that it so

quickly turned upside down because you were going

against the timing and the plan that you needed to

go. You wanted to play some more and knowing that

Nothing lasts forever and all good things must come

to an end inevitably but I have not a single regret

because I had to life through each experience to get

me to where I am right now and heal and recover

because that was never for you and part of that being

the reason why you would even fight for something

so much that was it supposed to end up that way did

you guys lived it up and had a good time that you

also add times that we’re not so good but I also

needed those times to realize what I was doing

wrong and never in looking at myself from another 

Perspective and that’s the hard thing to do cause I

never want to believe I’m in the wrong but that

taught me what I needed to learn.. Whether or not he

was telling me the truth or answer my questions it

Was irrelevant because I was still in the wrong

regardless it was a chapter on your journey and those

Extacy eventually come crashing down like a tidal

wave of nightmares and just how quickly things fall

apart when you fight against energy and destiny. I

definitely learned a lot about myself and

relationships and my judgments as well and I do

appreciate all of the great times and I’ll forever have a

special place in my heart for end cure for every

chapter because they helped me realize I was

Allowing to go on. Once I went back home and there

I would rediscover who I was and once I came home

it all just started to Come back together because

there was a comfort in solidarity and self reflection.

And clarity once I refreshed myself what I deserve to

know the whole truth to my purpose and Devine gift

of timeless energy and Realness. I have no regrets

and each lesson I had to learn or relearn again or else

It would continue to come back up and until I was

able to pass the test that was the only way out of it it

was due or die now is the time and could never get

an opportunity again so I knew what I had to do.

and now it s starting to make sense more

Having all these thoughts and questions and not having anyone to turn to going though Some of the heartache on my own sucks but at the same time some of the stuff I needed to do on my own as well as the reflecting and solidarity and just healing and cleanse just a whole refresher because I wasn’t gonna go back to any of that nonsense I was ready to Start my future ends I have a new way of thinking and someone that will complete me more than I could ever even imagine the sweetes and most perfect person for me literally my soulmate my other half see if you want the fairytale then you decide that its really about what you truly want and satisfying to your needs and desires. He gets me in every single way that I never had and silently crave. The rough and hair pulling, biting and just devouring that moment when thier souls finally reconnect being as they were together maybe in another lifetime. Today was the day her dreams came true and she was resdy to start living her life again and finally everything made sense the journey and each lesson and person and situation everything needed to happen to get me here to this very moment and now. I’ll get my fairy tale ending and Man of my Dreams whom will be with me until the end of time until death do us part. True Uplifting Vibrating Magical and Devine ❤️ soul blowong Love and they lived happily ever & hard Times pass we’ll be okay. Together we’ll be alright! Ain’t that the truth. We can conquer the world or destroy it lmao no jk we’re gonna make some babies and make up for the time we lost.

This helped me because she said that no onunderstands because no one walks in your shoes 👠 I never fully understood it at the time but always was in the back of my mind. Well she’s right I just had to allow myself to raise my vibration to the truth and what I deserve As opposed to what I would allow. Consequently at one time things were great but they just slowly got worse it was like a roller coaster but towards the end I was wrestling my demons bringing his out if you’re in the fire feeling it fueling it and all the situations I would create in my head that weren’t even true I would start to believe and then start arguing with me on thoughts I’m not getting paranoid just not knowing what to believe because the truth could be lies and then we Mile I’m the one sabotaging the truth or questioning it because my own insecurities but I hope that there’s no hard feelings just appreciation and gratitude for what happened and how each event pan down and the opportunities that I had to revisit these was once in a lifetime and knowing what I know now it was all worth it it was scary and uncertain and really brave but I was going to risk my for my people and find the truth and fight for what’s right fully deserved and for my sanity in this wicked world where everything‘s not so cookie cut I’m not any safer type of whistle blower but let me tell you the information is out there if you look in the right places and ask the right people you will find it Because you will see it and you won’t even have to question it because you will know once you have that click everything starts to get a lot more real you’re gonna walk through the valley of the shadow of death look at your demons they’re going to challenge you they’re gonna try to drag you down you can’t let that happen that was an old part of you or a part of you that died and no longer exists only in your mind the character you created to play that part in this conundrum of your life but sometimes things get really still and you’re sitting around it’s almost a year two years three years and you need to get out you need to get out of that funk and then you get a taste for life again and you just start to go with it and then it just starts to take you over and you just get so caught up in this fantasy life that’s not real but it’s fun to play and it’s fun to Tesla miss ends test limits and just see where certain nights can take you and just be open minded and in the moment because the thing about that is you only have this moment and that’s the only mom you have and it’s never going to come around again so you have to live embrace it and live it to the fullest it’s one like I was always worried about the past or the future and that gives you just have to be present and except who you truly are and you know the world what what can you throw at me or how can I tackle this today I’m not gonna worry about it because I’m coming to God and when it comes on about it will inevitably be consistent with what you serve so you need to have more respect for yourself and not allow any type of disrespectful remarks or behaviors because you deserve more than that and you don’t know why you let that go on because you were in a dark place and you didn’t know any other way at that point in time and it’s really hard to dig yourself out of it because one after the next excuse after excuse little by little you see the storm sort of brewing and then that’s when lake you know that blender should go on and you should say I am just means I need to rest and recharge or whatever so everyone’s story is different everyone has their faces or favorite things comforts just be around good people don’t let anyone kill your vibe and don’t be afraid to ask questions for skip for what you believe in because you could be leading the way for so many other people that don’t have that choice or they can’t stand up for themselves for that just don’t know how to or have the strength to know you never know and hey if I truly believe something with my whole heart the Universe will conspire to make it happen.🌙