#he’s a hiker yall

[zzoupz]

seeing tf2 10th class oc posts makes me realize i have a 10th class oc i havent finished redrawing houugjh i need to get to that tomorrow

[charliemwrites]

Woof woof yall.

No content warnings

You’re out in the woods one day, taking photos and going for a little hike. Stupid mental health walk or something; whatever, it’s a nice day and you’ve gotten some good shots. You’re just about to turn back when a huge brown and black wolf lopes out from a nearby thicket.

There aren’t any wolves in England though! Hunted to extinction - it’s why you feel safe bebopping around the forest alone in the daylight. So you see this big fuck-off sized “dog” and coo at the pretty puppy.

“Hello handsome boy, aren’t you just gorgeous! Will you come say hi?”

You do all the right things that you’re supposed to do with an unfamiliar dog but he just barges right through. Trots up to you, nose shoved into your crotch. You startle, bark a laugh, shove at his big stupid head.

“A little forward,” you tease, scratching under his chin, “but it’s better than biting.”

You feel all around his neck for a collar, but no luck. He must be someone’s though, huge blue eyes too intelligent and focused on your words. And his coat is so well maintained, glossy and shedded.

“Do you know how to… sit?”

An adorable head tilt, and the big dog settles onto his hind quarters.

“What a good boy!” you croon. “So smart!”

He licks at your palm and wrist as you scratch at him, huge tail thumping. A canine grin, tongue lolling out as he waits for your next command.

You hum.

“Well, guess we can check if you’re microchipped, huh? Or at least I can get you some water. See if someone recognizes you…”

You make a kissy noise at him. “Let’s go, big boy. Come.”

And to your delight, he falls into step with you. He weaves along the path ahead and behind, but always loops back to you, brushing against your thigh as if to reassure you he’s still there.

You hum as you walk, giggling when you see his ears twitch and swivel towards you. Tease that he should do better if he doesn’t like your version of Jolene.

You only cross paths with two other people on the walk, a pair of guys clearly out for a more serious hike. The dog plants himself between you and them, ears pinning back and a low growl erupting from his chest. You startle a bit, carefully burying your fingers around his scruff in case you need to grab him quickly.

“I’m guessing he doesn’t belong to either of you, then?” you ask.

One of the guys shakes his head. The other gives you an odd look. “He’s not yours?”

The dog barks, loud and rough. You shush him, explain the situation to the hikers. But the dog never stops rumbling and they quickly go on their way, keeping a wide berth.

You huff. “Don’t like men, huh?”

Poor thing. Maybe he was abandoned by a mean owner?

“S’alright, bud, I’ll be good to you.”

He follows you all the way back to your home. And when you open the door, shoulders right past you.

“Ah, shit,” you groan. “You weren’t supposed to come in!”

He gives you an almost betrayed look. You try not to huff in amusement.

“So help me, if you bring nasty things in this house I will shave you. Shave you. You’ll look so silly. Like an overgrown raw turkey.”

The dog turns, trots back to you. You didn’t realize just how big he is until he’s got his big paws on your shoulders. You blink, have to take a step back to brace against the weight of him. In his hind legs he’s taller than you. Really could pass for a pure bred wolf.

A big, rough tongue licks from your jaw to your forehead. You scrunch up your face but end up laying a kiss on his muzzle in return.

“Alright, you big nasty. Down you get.”

You shut and lock the door behind you, brushing leaves and dirt off.

“Okay, shower first,” you say aloud, already tugging off your clothes. “Then we’ll run into town, see if we can track down your family.”

You don’t mind the dog staring, unblinking, as you strip down right there, balling things up to avoid tracking a mess through the house. Nor do you mind him following you to the bathroom, though you do push at his snout when he licks the back of your knee. Just normal dog things, really. They don’t get people stuff like clothes or boundaries.

“Stay out of trouble, bud. I’ll be right out.”

As you wash up, you consider the merits of adopting. Only if you can’t find the dog’s actual family, that is. It’s lonely in your little house sometimes - and a bit spooky at night. A big, protective dog might be just the thing.

Next

Masterlist

[fictionkinfessions]

Here’s a canon date fail:

I went on a date with a guy that was my boyfriend, named Will Hiker. (He picked the name himself and you’ll see how I was so dumb on this one yall) One night, after a few months of dating, he took me up to see the stars on a hill in a forest in Piedmont. I remember leaning my head on his shoulder, sighing as I asked, “Do you think we could be together forever?” Only for him to respond: “Oh i know we will. Promise. Wanna shake on it?” So I, the dumb girl that I am, who was dating a man with blonde hair that covered one eye, that had eyes that were golden yellow, always wore a black bow tie, and was a twink, shook his hand.

As I shook his hand, his hand began to glow with a blue flame. He began to laugh using a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. A voice I thought I’d never hear again. “Pleasure doing business with you Shooting Star!” And he changed his form back to the one I knew too well. Bill Cipher. He then took up residence in my brain in order to use my body to get him back inside Gravity Falls.

So uh yeah. Date fail of the century. Learning that I had been dating a man who wanted to kill my family and I and take over the universe, and accidentally making a deal with him.

-Mabel Pines 💫🌠💖

[redhoodiedemon]

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (The Mean One x F!Reader) NSFW

Divider by: @/dollywons

Ship: The Mean One x Reader Word Count: 1901 Summary: Your new town has a legend about a Christmas monster. Your rage towards the holiday drives you to conduct an experiment. Ratings/Warnings: 18+, sexual situations, medical gore Notes: i warned yall

Divider By: @/fic-dumpster

It has always surrounded you at this time of year, this feeling of melancholy that sank deep into your soul, loading down your heart with lead and leaving a stone in the pit of your stomach. As you walked down the crowded main street of your town, now covered in twinkling lights, red ribbons, and huge green wreaths on every street lamp, you only felt a sense of sadness that haunted you like a poltergeist that had attached itself to your back and followed your every move. Maybe it was because you were a woman of logic and reason, unmoved by childish notions of magic and wonder. You were a scientist, after all. A surgeon, specifically. You moved into Newville earlier this year when a job opened up at the city’s hospital. Sure, it was in the morgue, but a job’s a job. Or maybe, you admitted to yourself, you were just a little bit… lonely. After all, you had been so focused on your career, you hadn’t been on a date in years. Usually you were fine with that, but as the nights got colder you started to feel more and more repressed. 

You had heard the legends of the killing spree from the year prior. The Christmas monster. How a local woman killed the bastard. And how his remains are in an unmarked grave in the mountains. As you arrived at your place of work, you glanced at the filing cabinets full of autopsy reports for every corpse that entered the morgue. They use that story to attract tourists to the town this time of year, say he’s really still alive, hiding in the mountains, waiting to strike again. The swarm of loud, drunken amateur hikers that suddenly descended upon the usually quiet little town was not helping your grouchy mood. 

Your first assignment that day was already waiting for you. You read through the crime report: a man in his mid-40s had been collecting donations for the local orphanage outside the town diner when he was mowed down by some drunk tourists in Santa Claus suits. By the condition of the body you concluded the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. As you looked into the lifeless green eyes of the man, and you couldn’t help but think to yourself, “There goes the last decent person in this town.” 

“So then, screw the rest of them.” said another voice in your head. You thought back to the time you spent in Europe, apprenticing for one of the most controversial scientists of all time. This town wants their monster back? I can give them their monster back. 

You were surprised at just how much detail was included in the autopsy report, all things considered. They even recorded the exact spot where the body was buried. You read the cause of death. His heart had exploded due to rapid growth. That would make this easier. You wouldn’t need any other spare parts, not a stomach, or a pair of lungs, or even a brain. Just a heart. And you knew just where to get the last good heart in this town. You gathered all the necessary supplies and loaded them into the ambulance, which you drove up to the mountain. The corpse was right where the report said it would be. 

Back inside your attic, all the preparations were already made. You had always been ready for when you would follow in the footsteps of your mentor back in Switzerland. You washed up and began the grotesque operation, removing the bloody Santa Claus suit, then the green fur, now caked with red blood, which surrounded the open chest wound. You opened the wound further to remove the defunct heart and replace it with the fresh one. You closed the wound with stitches, careful not to let your blood soaked fingers drop the tiny needle. And now it was time for the hard part. Praying you had assembled your equipment in the correct fashion as recorded very specifically and meticulously by your demented and deceased mentor, You spun the wheel which opened the doors in the ceiling, and then pulled the chain which raised the gurney into the night sky.

What was probably going to be the last thunderstorm until spring time was raging outside. You ran to the control panel and frantically flipped switches, pulled levers, and pushed buttons, all the while glancing up at the gurney hanging high in the sky. Just then, lightning cracked through the sky, striking the lightning rod you had attached to the gurney and travelling all the way up and down the table. It was the once-in-a-lifetime moment you had been hoping for. Hastily, you ran back to the chain and pulled the gurney back down into the lab, then spun the wheel to close the doors in the ceiling to prevent the rain from coming in. You turned to the figure lying still on the gurney, waiting breathlessly for any sign of life. You waited. And waited. And waited. You inched closer to it, staring into its face, every nerve of your body on fire in the dead silence. You began to think you had made a miscalculation somewhere, the experiment had failed. Then its eyes opened.

They were a horrible, shocking red, staring directly at you like a crazed animal. You stumbled back in shock and crawled backwards until you hit the wall. The creature rose up slowly and eyed you warily. For a few pulse-pounding moments, neither of you moved. Then suddenly, he lunged. You flinched, bracing for impact, but he went right past you, out the door and into the night. You hastily crawled over to the window, but you couldn’t find him. You turned away from the window and stared at the empty room, and wondered, “What have I done?”

You spent one sleepless night in your attic only to hear no news of a new murder in the town the next morning. But, as the days went on, you began to hear about a few attacks, but nothing fatal, and the tourists hiking the mountains tell people in town they had seen the monster around the same cave where he was originally discovered, and began to wonder if it was true. When you went to the cave you found the rumors were true after all, and like a true scientist, you began to observe your subject, fearing the attacks would become fatal once again. The more you watched, the more you realized just how human he was. He hated loud noises, people encroaching on his property, and rude behavior, all of which amplified during the holiday season. All he really wanted was peace. And, the more you observed, the more you realized that not only was he just like any other human, but he was like you, specifically. And all at once you found the answer to the question that everyone in the town puzzled over for years. You knew exactly the reason, without any doubt. And so you knew what you had to do.

It was Christmas Eve night. The air was still, and freezing cold. You wrapped your jacket around you tighter as you climbed up the mountain. As you entered the cave, a warmth emitted from the deep within. He must have lit a fire down here to keep warm. You ventured further and further in, and then you saw him. Though he eyed you warily, he didn’t look angry. 

“You remember me?” You said. He took a step closer. “I think I know why you become more aggressive and irritated this time of year.” It was now or never. You unzippered your coat and slid it off your shoulders, revealing to him your naked body underneath. “It’s your mating season, and you have no mate. So, it you’d like, you can use me instead.”

Now, he approached you slowly, never taking his eyes off of you. You felt the heat rising between your legs as he stared so intensely at you. Then, he walked straight past you, towards a large boulder at the entrance of the cave. He rolled it to cover the entrance completely. You shivered at the sheer strength he displayed. Then, he turned towards you again. Closing the distance between you and him and cupped your face in his hands gently. You noticed how soft his fur was against your skin. Then, he kissed you, slowly and passionately, his tongue moving against yours expertly, and you realized that his body heat ws making you so warm. His hands moved to caress your body, and soon he lifted you up into his arms while you hooked your legs around his waist. In doing so, you felt a hard cock, usually hidden by folds of skin, pressing against your heat. You were right after all.

He carried you to lay on the smooth rock next to the fire, which was burning in a makeshift fire pit he constructed. Upon closer inspection, the cave was actually quite cozy, the rock above you reformed into such a way that the smoke from the fire could escape without it drawing attention to his location. He was kissing your neck desperately and letting out soft whines as his dick rubbed up against your folds. He moved down to lick and suck on your tits, moaning wantonly as he pressed his face in between them and kneaded them in his long, soft, fuzzy fingers. You moaned as he came up to kiss your lips again, and then slid himself into you. A loud gasp escaped you when you felt him filling you up better than anything else you had experienced in your life. He began bucking his hips into yours. You shifted your hips to sink down further on his cock. Then, it happened. A spot near the base of his cock expanding inside of you, locking him in position balls deep inside of your pussy. You let out a lustful scream. God, that felt good. With his thick tip pounding desperately into your cervix and his knot massaging your G-spot, it’s no wonder you came in only a couple minutes. To your surprise, he came, too, letting out a harsh, throaty growl. But, as you came down from your high, you realized his knot hadn’t gone down. It was just as large as before, still buried inside of you. You looked at his face. It was hazy with lust, and his eyes bore intensely into yours. Your heart fluttered with thrill. You were in for a very, very long night.

By the time he finally came down and pulled himself off of you, it was well into the morning. You could tell by the light creeping in through the cracks in parts of the cave’s ceiling. You rolled over to your side to cling to him, shivering in the cold air. He wrapped his big arms around you, pressing you tight to him and rubbing your back slowly. You reached up to kiss him again, which gained you a satisfied hum. You had tamed this beast, this monster, this creature. Your creature. You decided you would stay, for the rest of the morning, and into the night, and maybe the next day. You were in no rush to leave. For the first time in a long time, you were spending the holiday with someone you loved.

[ebbbonyeden]

Nature walk today-

I dropped my blunt on the trail and it literally disappeared yall. Vanished. Replaced by sticks and twigs right before my eyes. I enlisted a random hiker (who looked like he smoked weed tbh) and promised him we could smoke it together if he helped me find it. The blunt was gone… it was honestly ridiculous. But this man was also looking for a spot to smoke in nature so he invited me to just smoke a pre roll with him. We had a great ass conversation. And i still got to get high. Then we went on about our day. Id almost call it a meet cute, but i could tell it was just one of those moments that we could go on as complete strangers who share a funny little story.

[freebooter4ever]

Ok lets talk dildos, sexuality, and years of being 'broken'.

BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT ONE A LONG TIME AGO fuck. Look i grew up with a catholic family, we all know how it goes, yall end up with all kinds of weird vibes about sex and so. Much. Guilt. Girls especially are made to feel guilty and embarrassed about finding any sort of pleasure around sex/masturbation - its all shame shame shame. And i just kind of accepted it - mostly i think because of being demisexual and not really knowing how to put that into words, i never felt sexual attraction much at all except for a few specific instances here and there. I didnt date until college and by then it was kind of too late for those early stages of fumbling and discovery.

Believe it or not pretty much from high school till the age of 23 i didnt even masturbate at all - because it was so embarrassing and shameful and i always lived with roommates so like...when was there ever a moment lol.

And here's the thing, im small. Im not short but i have always been skinny and i have always been athletic and those two things combined mean things were super tight down there. Guys have always commented that this is great. For me? Not so much. Even before the abusive relationship pain always went hand in hand with sex. But if the guy was, you know, nice...it was worth it. My first boyfriend, as nice as he was, used to not even notice when i would be crying while we were having sex because it hurt so much. The abusive asshole i dated next made everything a million times worse. Obviously.

It was a year after the abusive relationship that nick walked into my life with his pies and smile that could melt the sun. And while we were lovers i used to joke that he could be a sex therapist, but genuinely that was one of nick's gifts - he could connect sexually with anyone, which was amazing to a girl like me who found maybe one person attractive every five years. Nick knew how to put people at ease, he was sensual and knew way more about sex than i could ever imagine, and a ton more experience, but he never made me feel awkard or embarrassed about it. And for the first time ever in my entire life, sex actually didnt hurt. Sometimes my friends ask me why i was so hung up on him for so long and, like, him being the only guy who didnt cause me pain because he actually cared enough to try not to was kinda....unique. Of course it also mean nick struggled with monogamy and, like, not hitting on my best friends. Awkward. (to be fair my best friends were way hotter than me but still. Not cool.)(it also meant i spent most of my romantic life desperately wishing i could be someone else, someone worthy of serious attention, hotter, bigger boobs, better, blah blah blah)

In LA i decided that since i was over 30 i was just going to avoid real dating altogether since i was past the 'desirable' age. i had Hiker Boy which only worked for so long because we weren't exclusive, he never pressured me to have penetrative sex so never hurt me, and i knew he was dating other girls since he was only ever in LA a few days each month, and i was cool with this because frankly it meant i didnt have to deal with the sex issue.

Then i started living alone and my fear of masturbation started getting silly like for fucks sake i live alone there is nobody else in the house to even hear or smell anything. And for the first time ever i realized i actually could feel the kind of pleasure people wrote about in smut. Except a finger is one thing...a dick is entirely different LOL.

but growing up in a society where sex is never talked about and is shameful and catholic girls arent supposed to really want that stuff anyway - i went my entire life assuming my pain and 'tight'ness was just permanent and something my body would always have. I obviously googled and what little i could find suggested that this was probably related to the endometriosis i was diagnosed with at 14. Nothing i could do to 'fix' myself.

However, recently after accidentally discovering that masturbation somehow works to recconect that broken connection of my brain/blood circulation/heartrate for a few hours after, i immediately incorporated this into my POTS 'healing' attempts. And started reading on the internet about that and found out specifically cervix/uterus stimulation with deep penetrative sex is the best for that one nerve that connects all these autonomous bodily functions together. And hey if doctors can suggest four hours of meditation per day (boring) to try and do the same thing, why cant i just spend a half hour with my own kind of stimulation? And finally, finally, i decided it was time to experiment with dildos and see if i could even get to a point of 'deep penetrative' stimulation. Lol.

Shoutout to my friends who helped me with this purchase if you are reading this LOL LOL. 😅

turns out everything i believed about my permanently broken body was wrong.

Its only been a few days and already im past the pain and closer to the pleasure part of this experiment. Like, i genuinely never thought anything wider than one single finger would fit, but god damn it, im learning otherwise. And i am so fucking mad that i wasted so many years of my life thinking i was broken and worthless. (i mean now i am chonically ill and am broken and worthless in other ways but thats besides the point). But seriously my twenties were spent being terrified of men and avoiding them (except nick) or dating guys who were okay with penetrative sex not being a thing with us. I was living an asexual life when im very much NOT asexual. And it wasnt a total hardship because thanks to demisexuality if im not interested in anyone at the moment i really am pretty close to being asexual 90% of the time. But still. There were a few people i was attracted to that if i had thought i could act on it, things might have been very different. And when that attraction flips On, in the words of sabrina carpenter, my sexuality is really quite normal and functioning.

Tldr FUCK CATHOLIC GUILT BUY THE DAMN DILDO

THE READMORE BROKE FOR A MIN IM SO SORRY

Happy h***y on main saturday! \o/ to celebrate this will be reblogged with a rant on ...well...the contents in this photo (to avoid auto tagging)

[castleamc]

lost dog tags

Pairing: Frankie "Catfish" Morales x GN Reader

Words: 2.8K

Warnings: Meet cute, no use of y/n, reader has no physical description, before triple frontier, set around 2000’s (maybe), Reader/Frankie are in their Mid-20's, food consumption

Summary: During your hiking trail you came across lost military dog tags that you decided to return back to its owner.

A/N: I gave frankie a middle name in this one shot because why not, I was going for names with an A, so I settled with Arturo. Francisco Arturo Morales and btw it serves no purpose in this story avsgsbaha lmao, just wanted to put one. Lmk what you think his middle name could be... And i don’t feel very confident with this one, but what the hell ya know 💜

Main Masterlist ⭐️

It was too god damn early.

The sun was blazing on your skin, not to mention the burning sensation setting in on your calves. Your muscles were tightened, as you kept walking a strain right along the center of shins was starting to hurt. Every step up the hike was a straight shot to your bone traveling inside the narrow to your knees.

Why didn’t you fucking stretch? Like a sane person.

You were no where near close to finishing the trail, every step over the rocks was a nagging reminder of your pain.

Unable to withstand it, you finally looked up from your shoes coming to a halt. Looking up at what’s left of your trail, you saw the sun’s rays dance with the view ahead, it was scorching hot. For some reason, you truly believed that the weather today would be forgiving.

Oh how you underestimated Mother Nature's power.

You needed to stretch on a flat surface, if there was any, if you planned to continue up this hike. A few steps in and you reached a flat-ish surface to squat without overextending your Achilles’ tendon. The weather was becoming hotter and hotter the higher you got to the sun’s looming presence.

Settling down on the spot to the side away from the trail, you carefully placed one foot flat on the surface while stretching the other out carefully not to tip forward. While you repeated the same stretch to the other leg, you rested longer on that leg enjoying the muscles extend from its recoil. When bringing your arms back to your center to stand you noticed a shimmering glare hit your eyes.

Blocking the shimmer with your hand, you saw that it was a necklace of some kind hidden in the rubble of the ground. Reaching toward the chain was hot to touch, but you managed to pull it out from the rubble.

It was dog tags. Military dog tags.

Carefully kneeling on the floor ignoring the blazing heat burning a brand new layer of skin, you held the chain carefully in your hands.

Squinting to focus on the letters enraged it read:

Morales

Francisco A.

201-90-3060

B POS

Catholic

“Uh Francisco? You are…B-positive and missing your dog tags,” you pointed out to yourself.

Whoever he was mostly likely needed this back, he couldn’t of had dropped it here on purpose. Unless he did, which in that case that’s be fucked up. This is one the most beautiful trails in the area and well preserved.

Concluding that he must’ve lost it along his journey up the hike you placed the chain into the side of your book bag and continued.

When you get home you’ll search for his name in the yellow pages, it’d be easier than to call every single military base around you and be put on hold.

You already have his name, how hard could it be?

Bending down to touch your toes for one last stretch, you carried on thinking if this Francisco stretched. It had to be someone who walks here daily, since the chain didn’t show any signs of rust or decolorization.

You looked down at your watch, it was going to get late and the sun isn’t as forgiving in the afternoon. Lifting the brim of your standard oil hat, you had about a 20 minutes or so left to reach the top of your hike.

The lost dog tag will be a future you problem, right now you had to get to the top of the hill to admire the beauty. Nothing beats the view from up here.

Stepping on the final surface, you drink your water walking up to the edge taking off your book bag.

It was a sight to behold thats for sure, you pulled out your film camera to snap a shot of the view.

You always took one picture to look back on when you develop the film, how could you not? The view was breathtaking and each day was always different.

Whoever this, Francisco Morales, person was you had to give him respect because this wasn’t an easy hike, but it was most certainly extraordinary. Sitting down you took in the serenity and beauty slowing down your rapid heart beat.

Sitting on the edge of a slope, you wiped off the sweat dripping off your brows and readjusted your hat.

Looking down at your watch you read, 3PM, you huffed. “Yeah that sounds about right,” puffing up your shirt that’s stuck to your chest for some air.

You closed your eyes thinking about the vast view of trees and listening carefully to the noises all around you. Picturing what animal made that sound, where did it come from, which direction were the trees blowing, thanking god for that sweet breeze, and remembering the missing chain—now found waiting to be returned.

You wondered what this Francisco Morales could possibly look like. His name was definitely something nice to say, “Fran-cis-co Morales.”

It rolled off the tongue very easily.

Maybe he was nice, trained in the Olympics? Or could be a killer—well if he’s in the military they are trained. Perhaps he hunts and lost his dog chain. You kept guessing as you made your way down to hike again.

This could also be the effects of the hot sun and the fact you haven’t had a date in quite some time.

You shrugged off that thought, that’s the last thing you want to dwell on right now. Instead of imagining a face, let’s leave it to the world to surprise you.

You couldn’t deny however, that a very small deep part in your heart hoped that he wasn’t just nice, but also quite attractive.

It never hurt to hope.

Usually on these hiking trails in the mornings you see quite a few attractive people jogging, yet they’re either paired up with someone or going about their day never giving a second thought.

Which in some part you can’t blame them, who goes hiking in hopes to find someone that you could possibly date? You’re all covered in sweat, bug bites, and not to mention starving.

Which brings you back to this mystery man, you must have been trained very well to be doing this hike. Cause it was a bitch to walk and your starving.

Every hike you try to set a goal, to finish your last lap faster than the previous, carefully of course. If you were to hike up too fast that chances of slipping on the soft dirt and breaking something would be pretty high.

Reaching the start of the trail, you made your way to your car, throwing your book bag to the passengers side turning up the AC. You sat in silence letting the cool air dry your sweat as you finished drinking the last bits of water, before heading back home.

Opening the thick phone book, you started humming each letter of the alphabet as you flipped pages.

“K…L…M!”

Found you, now time for F.

Leaning closer to see the small letters, your followed your finger down to the letter F and then to Fr..to later Fra…

There was quite a few Francisco Morales’s to call.

You sighed reaching for your cell phone and highlighter, “Okay Francisco #1, are you my mystery hiker?”

After about a few calls in and half a highlighted section of the same name you were about to give up.

With your dinner half eaten, it was staring to look grim.

On call number…something, you lost track at this point, you spoke with no more enthusiasm.

With a less cheery voice waiting to be rejected once more you greeted the man, “Hello, sorry to bother you. Is this Francisco Morales?”

“Yes it is. Who’s this?” He asked with a deep baritone voice that sounded like he was panting.

That’s interesting.

“Sorry to call like this, I wanted to know if by any chance if you lost a military dog tag?”

You asked taking a bite of your sandwich paying mindlessly to the call.

He took a minute to answer back, you pulled the cell phone away from your ear to make sure to see if he hung up. He didn’t.

“Actually I did, how’d you know that?”

“Oh shit,” you mumbled with food in your mouth suddenly coughing. You forgot you were chewing and evidently how to swallow food as well.

You fucking found him!

Trying to squeeze in some words coming out was hopeless. You sounded like a strangled toy, “Hold-on-please!”

Over your coughing you heard him sound concerned, “Hey are you alright?”

You took a small careful sip of your drink to wash down the deathly bits of crumbs that almost killed you and wiping away the tears pooled in your eyes.

“Yes I am thank you! I’ve been calling and calling wondering who you were Francisco, I found them on State River’s hiking trail.”

He gave a small chuckle, “Well you found me. Thank you for that, I needed them actually.”

You smiled feeling content to have found him, “Glad to help.”

You wondered last minute how exactly you’d give it to him. You didn’t know this person, so mailing it to them was out the question. You didn’t need some complete random stranger knowing where you lived.

Maybe meeting him in a public place was a better option.

“Do you want to meet tomorrow morning at that place that’s near the hike, Alf’s Diner?”

“That sounds good, I usually get my breakfast there before I go on the trail anyways,” he said.

So he does hike and has great taste in food too.

Leaning on the table you couldn’t help but shake off the smile on your face after settling on a time to meet up, “See you there then.”

There was a pause from his side, he cleared his throat.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you again, kind stranger.”

You laughed giving him your name, “Don’t mention it. It’s only fair since I now know your name, blood type, and even religion?”

He chuckled, “That’s true, you do and I was young when I enlisted.”

Curiosity got the best of you and so did the dread of possibly hanging up after spending time searching for him. You didn’t want to end the conversation, not to mention he sounded too relaxing and genuinely interesting since he kept speaking to you.

“Did you like it?”

Picking up your plate, you placed the phone between your shoulder and and ear to clean your dishes.

“I did sometimes. It had its moments, but I got learn how to pilot though.”

Your jaw drops closing the tap water, “You can pilot? That sounds exciting. What’s it like?”

Frankie explained with a passion that his voice transferred over his excitement as he described the rush you get flying so high. He even spoke how much he loved fixing engines, which softened your heart. It excited you to know he found his calling. That’s something so many people struggle with, so to hear that he loves his job made you happy for him.

You could listen to him for hours, his voice was comforting. But you could also just be wiped out from today.

At one point, you tried to figure out what age he could be, he sounded grown and mature. The manner in which he spoke about aviation gave you the impression he teaches it. You knew jack shit about aviation, but listening to him was addicting that some of the stuff he said was now burned into your dead tired brain.

You both spoke a few hours about each other’s careers, what you each loved about hiking that when you rinsed your mouth to get ready for bed the conversation had moved to recalling the worst and best moments of the trail.

You explained, that the best part of it, which he agreed, was reaching the very top and getting that exhilarating feeling of seeing the whole forest down below.

“It’s as if it was being painted right there in front of you, all laid out.”

Climbing into bed you laid back closing your eyes to his voice, “it definitely feels as if it’s a secret not many people get to witness.”

“Exactly! If you don’t make the effort, you miss out. I almost couldn’t make the climb today.”

“Oh? How come?”

“I forgot to stretch,” you groaned internally feeling ridiculous. He was experienced and an outdoorsman, he must think you’re such a rookie.

He chuckled and groaning to stand up.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I don’t stretch much either,” he spoke bashfully.

You smiled to yourself hearing his voice match yours, “Taking a cold shower should help soothe cramped muscles.”

“And apparently so does stretching before bed,” you continued.

“Oh yeah I heard about that too and it’s really popular. Who would’ve known?”

You laughed turning to your side feeling the tiredness in your body start to overpower your senses.

Trying to muffle down your yawn Francisco spoke again, “I also have great hearing, you should go sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You wanted to stay on the phone with him, but he was right. You will see him tomorrow and as much as you’re tired, you felt ecstatic to see him.

“You too. Have a great night Francisco, see you tomorrow.”

“Good night,” he spoke softly.

Driving up to the Alf’s Diner your stomach was in knots all day, from the minute you woke up to the second you started driving.

Entering the diner with the chain bunch up in your hand along with your keys and cell phone, you took a seat that gave you the best view of the diner’s door.

You ordered some light breakfast since after this you planned to go again on the trail. You wanted your body to get use to the hike, but with proper stretches this time to avoid any leg pain.

Judging by the weather outside the window, you might also take your time to enjoy the view.

Speaking of view, catching your eye was a man with shaggy brown hair walking up to the entrance door, he had his hand in his pocket and facial hair around his top lip.

He stepped inside with confidence as he scanned the room.

When he turned to you, you both locked eyes that made you automatically smile at him.

He said your name approaching unsure if you were the right person he’d spent hours on the phone with last night.

“And you must be the mysterious hiker, Francisco?”

“You can call me Frankie, if you’d like.”

Frankie’s heart pounded in his chest and blasted throughout his ears hearing you say his name. You were beautiful, nothing what he had pictured last night, it was better. Your smile was fucking intoxicating, he couldn’t help but keep the stupidest grin on his face.

Last night he wanted to keep talking to you for hours on end. In truth, you both could’ve kept going if he hadn’t caught the sound of your exhausted yawn. So, he settled on looking forward to this meeting today and he couldn’t be happier.

Looking up to meet his brown eyes you took notice of the small fine, barely there lines, around his eyes. He must laugh a lot you think to yourself.

“Well Frankie, I think this is yours,” you extend a hand out letting the chain fall into his rather large hands as he takes a seat next to you.

Great. He smells fantastic too.

“Thank you. I’ve had this for years, I would’ve been bummed out to lose it forever.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure.”

You both smile at one another for a moment letting this sink in. He was insanely beautiful, you had to look down at the menu to keep from staring like a creep, “Want to eat? I already ordered something unless you’re busy of course…”

Frankie shook his head, “Not busy.” He took the menu from your hand letting his fingers cover yours a bit longer than intended.

“I’d love to. What’d you get?”

You leaned in closer over his arm to show him what you ordered telling him it’s your favorite and he could’ve sworn he felt his heart stop beating. Your smell was also addicting, he had to bite his inner cheek to control himself.

The waitress came by and he ordered the same thing you did, taking your word for it.

Frankie couldn’t help by steal glances as you fiddled with the wrapping paper from the straw. You were so beautiful and delightful to look at, you couldn’t possibly be single.

If he could spend hours committing to memory your facial features, the way your nose curved, the angle your eyes turned when you smiled, and that sparkle in your eye that he desperately needed to see again.

Frankie had to know if you were seeing anyone special, not sure to ask he weaved it in the best way he knew how.

“Do you usually come here with your partner and then hike?”

You turned your seat facing him, “Nope. I don’t have anyone special like that. I usually hike on my own.”

Well that wasn’t depressing, at all. You avert your eyes nervously kicking yourself internally for saying it like that.

Frankie frowned looking at your expression change rapidly to something somber trying to pass off as being okay. How could someone like you not have a partner?

Taking the chance he suggested, “Well I can go with you next time you go hiking.”

Your eyes lit with joy igniting a flame in Frankie’s heart, “I’m hiking right after this, you wanna join me?”

Trying your best not to freak out, you gave an easy smile preparing to be rejected. He was incredibly charming and easy to talk to, that you didn’t care if he was a complete stranger you couldn’t wait to get to know more about him.

“I would love that actually, I was going to go too.”

“Perfect, it’s a date then.”

His cheeks tinged with a blushed pink, “Our first date, wow. You move pretty fast.”

You laughed elbowing his arm looking forward to having someone to talk to on the hike.

“I do need to get my hat though, it gets hot up there,” he says after thanking the waitress for bringing your food and his.

Before you start eating, you take off your standard oil cap handing it to him, “Take mine. I have another in my car.”

“Really?” You nod taking a bite of your food making sure to swallow it this time as you watch his arms flex placing the cap on his head.

“How does it look?”

“Perfect,” you flirt adjusting—his cap now to get a better look of his eyes.

Frankie laughs catching you off guard when he reaches to wipe some sauce off the corner of your mouth with your napkin looking at down to you adoringly, “I agree.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! 🥺 💜

More to the story:

how the hike went

sharing a moment together

Permanent Pedro Boys Tag: @mandocrasis, @frenchfryfranki, @snow30285, @greeneyedblondie44, @javierpinme, @sharkbait77, @kirsteng42, @beskarboobs, @cozy-pie, @littlefrescita, @mswarriorbabe80, @leannawithacapitala, @heythere-mel, @voteforpedro09, @just-here-for-the-moment, @djarinladylatin, @athalien, @littlemisspascal, @librariantothejedi, @jediknight122, @lowlights, @jitterbugs927, @hocus-chlocus, @lips-for-you, @pedrostories , @hayley-the-comet , @maryfanson, @xaestheticalien

Frankie's Co-Pilots: @hnt-escape, @woodlandmouth, @theewokingdead, @hoff-mommy, @ezzieu2, @dobbyjen, @finerthingsboutique, @yourbucky084, @blub-senpai, @lovesbiggerthanpride

crossed out tags don’t work, pls check ur settings bbys! <3

✨taglist here ✨

[frogfootiepajamaguy]

Casually self-inserting myself into my two fave slasher movies so I can simp for the main killers and basically replacing the final girls cause I would've done shit differently:

Featuring; My non-existent will to live, the simp inside of me, my inner gremlin and the fact that I'm Gen Z

TW: Swearing, simping

BUBBA SAWYER (TCM)

Four people in a van? No. Me in a van who the fuck would I invite I have no friends

Hey look a hitch hiker that definately isn't related to mass murdering cannibals and definately isn't one himself

Want a ride- SIKE. I ain't lettin no stranger come into my fuckin van and start cutting his fuckin hand so I drive straight ahead-

Oh shit I ran out of gas. Can't have a horror movie without making the main character's car run out of gas right?

So shenanigans start and I start fuckin walkin to god knows where and found a house

So I go inside like the bad bitch I am and OH MY GOD

Bubba's out of the closet with a chainsaw! Congrats on opening up about your sexuality Bubba :D 🏳️‍🌈 💅👏👏👏👏👏

And Bubba's just standing there wondering why the fuck I'm clapping

Then I fuckin do an f boi face like a simp and say "Aha ur so seggsy don't kill me~"

Holy shit bone furniture and a chicken in a cage "Damn bro u live like this?"

Cut to the part where I fuckin run for my life- Jk i got myself captured

Cue dinner - Oh hey it's the hitch hiker I ditched - the food is fuckin gross but that chainsaw guy with a mask made out of faces kinda cute tho 👀.

They bring down grandpa and holy fuck it's William Afton. The fuck you doin in TMC

So they eating. Eating is good, eating is great - SIKE - while yall were eating I got myself out of the ropes and scratched my hands in the process, why? I'm a gremlin thats why

Then I snatch Bubba's fuckin chainsaw. Idc how strong he is I snatch it anyway and use it to chase away his brothers and William Afton cause i'm quirky lol

And then I kiss Bubba and we lived happily ever after.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE (THE BOY)

Took a nanny job, got inside the mansion, greeted the parents, met the doll - "Damn nice house u got here👀"

Anyway, they give me instructions, Brahms will be nice to me if I obey them, feed and bathe and love the doll more than life itself gotcha

Oh hey it's the grocery boy Malcolm except I'll only say hi and take the groceries and never interact with him again cause social interaction is overrated

Kaaaay so far I've loved the doll like it's my own child and never made any mistakes and obeyed the rules... Where wall man at.

*Walls thumping* *Insert caveman spongebob meme*

Timeskip to that one scene where Greta and Malcolm confronts Greta's abusive ass ex except I don't have an ex cause I never considered dating an option before and after I discovered what simping was

So just me standing in the living room then cause I think I broke a rule🧍‍♀️*COUGH* sleeping late *COUGH*

THE WALLS ARE THUMPING THE WALLS ARE THUMPING

THE MIRROR BROKE HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

*Insert Brahms most iconic and hottest scene in the entire movie and me giving an opera singer a run for her money because of my absolute high pitched simp scream*😩😩

Brahms looming over me with his head near my forehead "Sir are we about to kiss rn 👀"

Greta was a fuckin p*ssy running away. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUN AWAY FROM THIS HOT PIECE OF ASS

So anyways I get down on my knee and pull out a ring

And then we have a makeshift wedding and live out the rest of our lives together inside the house cause fuck social interaction-

THE END.

[pettyprocrastination]

Werewolf Poly FighterPilot thoughts nobody asked for

Pairing: werewolf!benny x werewolf!frankie, the beginnings of werewolf!benny x werewolf!frankie x Vampire!reader

Authors note: Happy spooky season everybody! I’ve toyed around with some poly FighterPilot (Benny x frankie) thoughts before and what better time than halloween season to talked about it! In this werewolves can like “smell” a vampire if that makes sense. Like I feel like to werewolves everybody has their own “smell” that they smell and is like “ah! that’s (Name)” if that makes any sense? No? cool. This is just beginning off hcs mostly on frankie and benny and if there’s a demand maybe ill show yall’s relationship together <3 Not edits or beta-read, take it or leave it this is yalls dinner tonight. shitty monster thots from a shitty monster write smooch smooch 

people i think would enjoy: @thesadvampire​ @ficsilike-reblogged​ @mostly-megan​ @captainsamwlsn​ @luxurybeskar​ @djarin-junk​ @madhyanas​ @max--phillips​ @humanransome-note​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​ @dilf-vader​

Frankie is the calmer out of the two 

Don’t get me wrong, they're both thought out, smart men. They were special ops after all

But Benny is young and impulsive, there are moments where he acts on feelings and feelings alone without thinking of the outcome. “That boy is all heart and no brain.” is what his mother used to say when he was younger. 

Their relationship didn’t start until they got out of the military. Before it had been lingering eyes, and some palpable tensions when one of them laughs at a joke and an adrenaline filled physical contact after a close call. But they never spoke on it. 

They never said anything while Fish holds Benny’s head in his lap during a particularly bad shift, or the way he cards his fingers through his hair while mumbling “I got you Ben. You’re alright.”

It had been Benny who took the leap after their service together. Calling him up and asking if he wanted to get some dinner together. 

“will the guys be there?”

There was a pause. “no, it’ll just be you and me ‘fish, that alright?”

But even then, Catfish was a man of humility and to put it kindly, painfully oblivious. So he didn’t want to assume anything and be wrong. 

I mean for fucks sake, this is Will’s brother. These men were his family. His pack. He didn’t want to fuck that up. 

it wasn’t until the waitress finally set their plates, well done burgers, no onions on frankie’s and no lettuce on Benny’s, that he finally said something. 

“I like you, okay?” The words came so suddenly from the younger Miller that Frankie found himself listening to his heartbeat, that was running wildly in his chest. “I like you a lot, man. And maybe im crazy but I think you like me too.”

Frankie took a moment to simply stare at him. Wide eyed and shocked and fucking ecstatic. 

“If im wrong, then shit, im sorry ‘Fish. We can forget this whole thing happened and just go back to normal, alright? But I can’t go another day without saying something.”

He had never seen Benny so nervous before. His usually grin was replaced with a drawn in bottom lip, chewing anxiously and eyes that skittered around the room. 

“could you please say something?”

Frankie smiled and knocked his knee against Benny’s. 

“You’re cute when you ramble, Miller.”

Benny sat up straighter and scoffed. “Fuck you, man.”

The weren’t being secretive, technically. They just, hadn’t mentioned it to the others. 

But Will knew Catfish well, and he knew his brother even better. 

Which is why he told them both sternly, as his coach and his brother. “training rule stays the same, alright? No sex before a fight.” and that was that. 

A tradition had been made. For full moons and ruts, Benny would accompany Frankie to his cabin out in the woods. Far away from hikers or any nature junkie that would stumble upon it. 

“my grandfather made it.” he explained. “we’ve got uh, a long running generation of shifters in the family. He thought it’d be best for us to have a place to escape to, you know? Without worrying about hurting somebody.”

They’d spent the next few days in a haze. Fucking and chasing and hunting like animals together. Before they’d return back home with satisfied smiles and a myriad of marks on their skin to cover up before the others gave them shit for it.

Now they were in love. Committed to each other to the point where Frankie, damn his heart, had caught himself thinking about a potential wedding, far in the future. 

But that didn’t mean they were blind. Sure, they noticed other people from time to time. If Frankie saw a man with a bright smile and toned body, he would let his eyes linger. The same way Benny would grin as the waitress paid extra special attention to him while taking their orders. 

It’s natural, neither of them caused fights over it. Because at the end of the day they loved each other. 

But you, had thrown a wrench in those plans. 

The bar had been packed that night. Benny couldn’t figure out why just yet. There was no game on or long expected fight for patrons to bet on and drink themselves dead over. But they were still packed in like sardines, to the point that Frankie found himself hitting shoulders with five people as he went to get drinks for the table. 

He had finally waved down the bartender when you walked by. 

The interaction didn’t last longer then 7 seconds at the most. You had just been trying to make your way through the crowd. 

Hand softly laid on his chest with a mumbles “excuse me, sorry.” and a sympathetic smile thrown to him as you were pressed up against him before slipping between a couple and disappearing. 

He tried to remember what he was doing before, but all he did was watch your form blend into the crowd until he couldn’t see you. 

Bar. he was at the bar. What was he going to order?

He couldn’t remember, all he was focused on was the way your hands laid on his chest and the way you smelled, fuck you smelled amazing. Rich and smoky and intoxicating. 

He felt like it should have tripped some alarm. That there was a crimson red flag waving in front of his face that he couldn’t see cause he was too busy thinking about you and the way it lingered around him. 

“hey, buddy!” the bartender snapped him out of his stupor and he stopped himself from growling before he realizes just what was going on. “either order something or fuck off, its a busy night.”

When he came back to the table, nobody seemed to notice. They were all too sucked in to a story Pope was telling about his sister and her trip to Paris. 

It wasn’t until Benny wrapped an arm around his shoulder and leaned into Frankie’s space that he froze. 

“you know, if you stared at her ass any harder I might've gotten jealous.” He could hear the tease in his voice, there was no anger or resentment.

Frankie swallowed dryly. 

“she uh...she smelled funny.”

His boyfriends sharp laugh shook off the fog that clouded his head. Benny always had that affect on him. 

They both returned to the conversation at hand, but even Benny could smell the sweet aroma that curled around Francisco and found himself enamored with it. 

[twosides--samecoin]

too tired to count sentences sunday TT_TT

as tagged by @some27-url and I am tagging @incognito-insomniac and @vault-heck as well if yall like! I'm bad at responding to tags and I would like to do better :P

squeezing this one in before the clock strikes monday! work stress has slowed my writing a little bit this week. i've also had to take time to go be supportive to people irl and to put it in smash bros melee terms - sometimes you just gotta take the homie stock. I came across a prompt that helped me put my Piper demons to rest and it allowed me to exorcise exercise more thoughts about the Fallout 4 universe - I love thinking through the way the game world works (or doesn't)

have an RJ memory~

“True grit,” the old hiker told them, “It means resilience.” 

“Resilience?” RJ asked, looking to her for the definition.

“Is it.. the courage to climb a mountain or something?” Lucy guessed.

“It’s not about hiking,” he told them. “It’s the qualities that can help you get where you want to go. Like having a goal and following through on it no matter how hard it gets. Resilience is the courage to keep going when times get tough. That’s true grit.”

[orbitariums]

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟏𝟓)

part 14

hey y’all!! missed yall again ♡ hope y’all luvvv this chapter <3

also, thinking of making a new taglist for this soooo just reply to this post or send me an inbox if u wanna stay on this current taglist & lmk if u aren’t on it and want to be added!!

playlist

word count: 7.7k

warnings: age gap, smut

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

        You practically ran up to the edge of the cliff, only slowing down partially because Steve was yelling at you from behind. You couldn’t help it though, you were obsessed with the scenery already, and being able to see it from this point of view was probably the best part of hiking for you every time. You hadn’t gone for a while, not since you’d been home in Cali, and Steve surprised you this morning by telling you to get into some comfortable clothes you could easily move in. Half your wardrobe was that since you were always outside, so the request was easy to fill. You honestly hadn’t even been expecting it when Steve drove all the way to this beautiful woodsy hiking location upstate. 

      It was quiet, and there weren’t many other hikers on the trail, so it felt like you were alone together. You talked amongst yourselves, the low chatter of your voices complimenting the sounds of various birds flitting by and the crunch of the dirt and grass beneath your sneakers. 

       You walked at a slow pace, taking it all in. Your time with Steve was coming to a close, and you found yourself wanting to take more and more time to remember each and every single moment as clearly as you could. In your mind, you documented the warm, comforting breeze of the ever present summer on your skin, the low, rich timbre of Steve’s voice. You noted each and every bird sound you heard, promising to come back someday and bird watch at this very same location. Most of all, you made sure to sink into the warmth of Steve’s body bristling against yours every once in a while when you got closer on a narrow part of the path. You were committed to being in the moment and being mindful. 

      “Slow down, slow down!” Steve called from behind, and you just glanced at him over your shoulder with a well intentioned laugh, then looked back at the sky ahead of you.

You raised your hands up in the air, stretching your palms up to the sky and hooted, cheering about nothing in particular. Every smile, every laugh, every moment you tilted your face up to the vast, azur blue sky and let the sun beam down on your face, was genuine and triumphant. 

     “It’s fucking beautiful out here, Steve!” you exclaimed, puffing your chest out like you were trying to enclose the crisp, balmy air in your heart. 

You were practically hysterical. You belonged in spaces like these, outside where you could share your thoughts with the trees or the water, or not think at all. You always felt your best when you were at the beach or on a hiking trail with your friends, finally able to let go of life’s vice grip on you. You were so much happier these days, in a constant state of healing, and the results were truly showing out. 

      “I’m glad you like it,” Steve chuckled at your excitement, kicking at the dirt beneath his feet. 

      “Come on, babe,” you beckoned him over, wanting him to bask in this moment with you. 

He trudged over, and when he was close enough to reach out to, you lugged him over as much as you could. Although he was like a stone, his eyes still widened with worry when you nearly toppled over carelessly, despite the fact that you were on the ledge of a cliff. 

      “Slow down, doll, you’re gonna kill us both,” Steve huffed out a dry laugh, still smiling all the while. 

You smiled smugly, glancing over at him with big doll eyes,

      “You’d save me, though, I know you can.”

Steve just pulled you under his armpit, keeping you close. In the odd chance that you did fall in this moment, you’d probably be smiling all the way down, forgetting the agony that would be sure to come, all because you were with him. Maybe it was just the fresh air making you a little delusional, but you’d let yourself be delusional just for a moment. 

      “Let’s make sure no saving will be necessary, hmm?” Steve hummed, and you grinned, nuzzling your face up into his neck. 

      “Fair enough,” you sighed with a restless smile. “Seriously, thank you for taking me out here. It’s beautiful.”

Beautiful was an understatement. It was funny, you spent so much time outside but you couldn’t ever describe how much nature touched you. You didn’t have the words to describe the way the lush trees at the bottom seemed to sway with the wind, or the way the animals swooped from treetops and went along their merry ways, all while cohabitating peacefully, or the way the landscape looked from all the way up here. 

        Steve just pulled you closer, and you stood there in complete silence and stillness for a while, just watching as the sky drifted above you. Steve was glad you were the happiest he’d seen you, it seemed as though even though your days together were coming to a close, you were growing happier by the minute. You didn’t think your goodbye would be teary-eyed, because after this wonderful experience, you knew you’d both be sure to see each other again. You weren’t at all in the same place in your lives, that was for sure. You were just getting out of college and making a real life for yourself, meanwhile Steve was out saving the world and doing things you could only dream of doing. You weren’t comparing the two, but it was simply the truth. Neither of you were in the same place, but being here together now made you feel more united than ever. If it took a while to come to a place where you could always be together, then so be it. Right now, you’d just enjoy this moment while it lasted, without haste to plan for the future, because you both had full faith that things would work out. 

      “It’s funny, this is my first time going hiking. Like, on purpose. I’ve trekked through Sokovia and I’ve had to find my way out of multiple jungles and mazes before they blew up, but I’ve never just enjoyed it like this. On purpose,” Steve said after a while, and you grinned up at him, pleased that you were giving him more and more options to expand his personal hobbies and live outside of his work. 

      “I get the feeling that even though you’ve seen everything… there’s a lot you haven’t seen,” you noted, and Steve nodded. 

That was exactly what he was trying to say. He’d done more than most people could ever dream of doing, he’d escaped danger in the nick of time a thousand times over, he’d saved lives, and yet, all the while, he hadn’t really lived himself. He learned a lot from his job and from the team he felt so grateful to be around on a regular basis, but amidst all the chaos of his daily routine, he’d forgotten to live. Sure, he had movie nights with his team and sometimes went out to eat with them, but there was so much more than that. So much that he hadn’t seen yet. You were showing him that there was, and he was showing you that there was space to trust and love. You shared a mutual core, full of life lessons and valuable exchanges. 

     “Yeah. Exactly that.”

You squeezed his hip as you started to turn around, facing away from the edge of the cliff and back to the trail, which you were almost finished hiking. 

     “Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”

| | | 

Steve was leaning against the arch of the open bathroom door, his head cocked in intrigue and admiration as he watched you do your makeup. You were finishing up, putting clear lip gloss on over the brown lip liner you’d used, a classic, 90s combo. You were gazing into the mirror, hardly acknowledging his presence for the purpose of perfecting your look, meanwhile, Steve was enthralled by you, despite the silence. You were also wearing a wine-colored minidress that clung to every inch and curve of your body, accentuating your best assets, which didn’t help with Steve’s staring problem at the moment. 

You had your elbows resting on either side of the sink and you were leaning in, smoothing your lips together and puckering them the very minute you finished, adjusting your position in front of the mirror to get a better look at yourself. Finally, you paid Steve some attention, and glanced over at him.

      “You ready?” you asked nonchalantly. 

      “The question is, are you?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes playfully in response.

      “You should be used to this by now, you know,” you sang, and Steve grinned, wrapping an arm around your bare shoulders as you came close. 

      “I know, I know. I kind of live for it, it’s so fun watching you do your makeup.”

      “Want me to try doing yours someday?” you quipped excitedly.

      “I’m not against it,” Steve chuckled.

Tonight you were going to a fancy restaurant for dinner, like, fancy fancy. The kind of fancy that even Steve wasn’t accustomed to. Steve had money, but he wasn’t a very sophisticated guy, he preferred to be more casual. You on the other hand, would probably fit right in. Your regal energy and poised way of carrying yourself made it that much easier. But, you were still fresh out of college, and you weren’t a rich girl by any means. So of course you got excited when you got to get all dolled up to do something very nice. 

You and Steve sat at a table near the back, the restaurant lighting dim and dark, a candle flickering between the two of you as the sun set outside. You toyed with the rim of your wine glass, taking careful sips so you didn’t mess your lip gloss up. To Steve’s lament, you would only let him kiss you on the cheek, because you didn’t want to ruin your finely crafted lip gloss. 

As nice as it all was, both you and Steve couldn’t help but be reminded of the fact that you’d be leaving soon, and that your days together were coming to a close. You were both levelheaded enough not to get too sad about the fact, but it was admittedly bittersweet. But you decided you’d at least make light of it, and smiled smugly at Steve,

      “What are you gonna do when I’m gone, lover boy?”

Steve glanced up at you, that charming smile teasing his lips as his blue eyes gazed into yours. 

      “Miss you.”

You tilted your head to the side as if you were challenging him,

     “You gonna call me every night?”

     “Whenever possible,” Steve replied warmly, and you continued,

     “Gonna send me flowers still?”

     “Of course,” Steve affirmed. 

You giggled to yourself, thinking of your last question,

     “Are you gonna watch my cam show?”

Steve laughed, shaking his head,

     “Who would I be if I didn’t support my girl?”

You grinned fully, reaching over to squeeze Steve’s cheek, 

     “You’re so precious.”

     “Uh,” Steve cleared his throat. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

     “Yeah?” you furrowed your brows, interested in what he had to say. 

He seemed nervous, wringing his hands together slightly before placing them on his lap and under the table so you wouldn’t worry about him. He had been thinking about this for a while now, and he’d already talked to you about it, but even after the discussion you had, he’d still been grappling with whether or not he should go through with this. He didn’t want it to feel like he was moving too fast or putting undue pressure on you, because he knew how important it was for you to live in the moment. Because of you he found himself questioning a lot of what he thought was true or moral. You had a good head screwed on your shoulders and you were still much more relaxed than Steve, not as focused on tradition or expectations. But he still found himself wanting to settle things down officially with you. 

     Looking into your caring eyes, he knew he wasn’t making a mistake, that despite all the trials and tribulations of your relationship together in the past, he’d regret it if he never got to know you. He could’ve never imagined being in this position, but by the look in your eyes, which were glittering and shining with pure, contagious joy whenever you saw him, he knew this wasn’t something he wanted to miss out on. He was about to forget himself and sink into how beautiful you were, as if he didn’t have other things at hand, but he remembered himself at the perfect time. 

     “I-I’m not always so great with words, so bear with me,” Steve started. 

     “Steve,” you giggled cheerily. “Spit it out babe, it’s okay.”

Your reassurance seemed to resurrect him and he chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing his temples. Then he looked up again, taking your hand and gazing into your eyes, never ceasing eye contact. 

     “YN. I really like you, alright? And this is something so new and so odd for the both of us. I mean, I don’t know anyone who’s had what we have and I know a lot of weird people - not that this is weird, but-”

You chuckled, scoffing,

     “Well it’s definitely not normal.”

You reached across the table, squeezing Steve’s hand. He grinned, chuckling back and nodded, continuing,

     “Yeah. Definitely. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About labels and what we talked about, and I know you’re not looking to rush into anything too soon because of how you’ve been treated in the past but…” here, Steve almost got emotional, thinking of how special you were to him, unable to believe that you’d been treated so poorly in the past— all he wanted was to show you just how you made him feel. “But I just want to treat you right, and make you happy because well, you make me happy. And it’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. And I’m sure that for you and me both, these feelings are rare. And I can treat you the same regardless of whether or not we put a label on it, but, selfishly I want you, fully… all to myself. So, let’s make it official. Will you be my girlfriend, YN?”

     Few moments felt as good as this one, and you’d remember this moment for years to come. Few questions rung so pleasant to your ears. And when you heard those words leave Steve’s lips, you knew you had never been more certain that you wanted to be with someone. All relationships started out in the honeymoon phase, but when it came to Steve, you didn’t feel like things would change drastically after this phase. And sure, you were just meeting, in real life, that is. In reality, you had known Steve for a few months, and you’d been getting closer for a long time now. So, you probably would’ve said yes to Steve even if he asked you on the second day you were together. 

     But your respect for Steve rose way up because he’d actually taken his time, had a conversation with you about it, and made up his mind. The fact that he had put all this thought into it was a testament to Steve’s character, which made you giggle because despite his stoic demeanor he was kind of a nervous wreck, and the strength of the connection you had. But you didn’t even have time to think about how wonderful this all was. All you knew was that you wanted to say yes. 

      “Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you bit down on your lip, just barely restraining a cheeky smile before you leaned in and kissed him again. The kiss was sweet, interrupted by laughter and your smiles against each others’ lips. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

You kissed him again and again, you kissed him so much that you barely had any lip gloss on when you managed to stop yourself to catch breath. When you pulled away, Steve had this kind of awestruck look on his face, his lips wet with your lip gloss, wanting more of your lips like you hadn’t just given him your all.

You snickered at the sight of his glossy lips, almost arrogantly noting, 

     “It’s a good look on you. My lip gloss.”

Steve grinned sheepishly, looking down at the table, relieved. He didn’t really have any reason to be worried, that was just in his nature. His heart had never felt so warm, he’d never felt so satisfied. You’d always been his, but now he had you, truly and officially. 

      “Were you nervous to ask me this?” you asked, still holding his hand from across the table.

Steve breathed out a laugh,

      “God, yeah. I was just hoping you wouldn’t feel pressured. I know how important your mental health journey has been for you, I didn’t want to make it feel like we have to put a label on anything before you’re ready—”

     “Steve, if I weren’t ready to be your girlfriend, I probably would’ve stayed my ass at home in Cali,” you chortled, making him blush, because he sort of knew he was overthinking it. “But really though, I wouldn’t be upset even if you didn’t ask me. What we have sort of obliterates the whole boyfriend and girlfriend niche, yeah? It’s kinda like… next level, don’t you think? I mean, how many people can say they’re in our situation? Like, this exact situation. This is like, long distance relationships made epic.”

     “Good point,” Steve nodded, agreeing— what you had was probably eons more powerful than the typical “boyfriend and girlfriend” situation.

     “It’s just, kind of a plus, you know?” you cocked your head to the side, shrugging. A mischievous, contagious smile spread to your lips. “I get to call myself Captain America’s girlfriend. Bitches write fanfiction about that.”

What? How could anyone blame you for getting cocky about who your official boyfriend was? You didn’t care for competition, but you’d selfishly admit that it was an ego booster to know that you had a man like him all to yourself, and that he wanted you all for him. 

     “You think you’re the lucky one, look at me. I got you,” Steve’s eyes slowly scanned your face, meeting your eyes again with a wistful smile.

     “My girlfriend, YN,” he said out loud. He just wanted to try it out, and it sounded so right to the both of you. 

     “I like that,” you cooed.

     “Me too,” Steve kissed your nose. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

He dug out a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to you, watching you unravel it. 

     “Just a little something I drew, meant to give it to you as part of this whole ‘making it official’ ordeal,” he put quotes in the air. “A little gift.”

     “Steve,” you pouted. “You’re way too nice to me.”

     “Well, you’re my girl. I can’t be mean, can I?” Steve’s lip quirked up in a quizzical smile.

     “Mm-mm,” you shook your head. “Not unless I tell you to.”

Steve couldn’t even decipher what you meant by that fast enough because you had squealed, your mouth flinging to your hand. 

     “Steve, Steve, holy shit. Is this what I think it is?” you sat up, alert, facing him. 

     “Just a little sketch, it’s not the best but I can—”

     “Steve, shut up! You’re literally fuckin’ amazing, are you kidding me? This is… amazing.”

What it was was a drawing. Not just of anything, but of a logo he’d created for you. Specifically, what would soon be the logo for your online clothing brand. It had only just kicked off the ground and you were hopeful for its future. So Steve drawing something like this, no matter how average he thought it was or how little time it took him was something so heartfelt to you. This was something you’d hold on to even more than the flowers, even more than the hotel rooms and private jets, even more than the fancy five star restaurant dinners. 

Because if there was anything Steve was proving to you time and time again, it was that he was the right one for you. You wanted to be with someone who would encourage your dreams, give you that push, and acknowledge that you had your own life outside of your relationship. And even though it was something minor at the forefront, when you really got down to it it was something so personal.

     “Ahh, I haven’t really drawn for real in quite some time, I just wanted you to have that. You can use it, for your clothing brand if you want,” Steve shrugged, all bashful like usual. 

     “If I want? I’m literally gonna flaunt this everywhere. Hello, my boyfriend made it? No one will know, but I will, and that’s what matters.” You leaned in, kissing his lips and folding the paper again so you could put it in your pocket. “Thank you, baby. For… literally everything. Thank you.”

     “Thank you.”

     “Steve, take the thanks. You deserve it. Thank you.”

Steve grinned lazily,

      “You’re welcome.”

You just gazed at him, your eyes inadvertently glazing over with tears. You were really sitting in front of the man of your dreams, and this time around you had no doubts about it. The old you would’ve been so resistant to love again. Steve made loving again so easy for you. And you couldn’t forget how you’d pushed yourself to love yourself again, because that made things like this a whole lot easier. But, rather than turn this into another mushy moment, your feelings were so overwhelming that you were feeling things everywhere. Everywhere. And who were you to prohibit your primal needs?

You stood up suddenly, brushing your hands against your dress, which once again caught Steve’s attention as you stood up. His eyes were already raking over you by the time you approached him on his side of the table, outstretching a hand to him, saying nothing until he took it and stood up beside you. 

      “Come on,” was all you uttered, glancing back at him only once as you led him further to the back of the restaurant, casually navigating your way to the restroom, unconcerned with anything in the moment that didn’t have to do with him. 

      “Where are we—” you swung the restroom door open and dragged him inside, locking it with finesse, “going…”

      Without responding, you furiously pressed your lips against Steve’s, pushing up against him and getting him hard in an instant. Your palms smushed into his cheeks and you moaned into his mouth, delirious with the need for him. Steve was shocked, but not at all against it, he had just never seen you act so impulsively before. And the same could be said for him— once you put your soft lips against his, all common sense seemed to dissipate from his mind. He was just as into it, his hands grazing all around your body like he was looking for something and you were the only way he could find it, squeezing every part of you he could squeeze through this dress. He rocked his hips into you, grunting into your lips as he felt his cock throb against the fabric separating the two of you. 

He pulled away, panting, his forehead creased in concentration as he cursed under his breath.

      “Fuck. Turn around baby,” he spun you around so you were facing the mirror and your body was up against the sink before you even had the chance to move yourself. 

      You gasped when you felt cool air against your ass before you even expected it, and you moaned instinctively. Steve left love marks on your ass, gentle and kind, before he made his way to your pussy, on his knees and standing behind you leaned your body against the bathroom sink. You were lucky this was a fancy bathroom that neither of you minded getting down and dirty in— the mirrors had golden frames and the counter was sparkling clean, made out of marble just like the floor which Steve was kneeling on. He inched his face closer to your center and licked a fat strip up your pussy, causing you to moan out carelessly. 

He focused on tasting you, closing his eyes and truly enjoying the moment. All that could be heard aside from the movement outside of the restroom were your moans and the sound of his tongue fucking deep into your wet pussy, slick, filthy noises coming from your heat. 

     “You taste so good, baby,” he moaned against your pussy, his words sending a shock through your body, making you squeeze around his tongue. 

You were panting now, your moans short and high pitched, glancing back at him every now and then, then back at your fucked out face in the mirror. You arched your back when he hit a certain spot, twirling his tongue around inside you and kneading your ass with his hands. 

     “Oh,” you cried out, reaching out behind you and grabbing tufts of his hair, pushing his head and face deeper into your pussy and keeping it there with a strong hold. Steve’s moans were muffled, he was overwhelmed by your sweet scent and the way you were forcing his face down. He only pulled away when he felt your pussy start to pulsate around his tongue, leaving you to whine in dissatisfaction while he stood directly behind you, pressing himself against your ass. 

      “Steve,” you complained, pouting at him.

      “I know, I know. I just— I have to fuck you, is that okay, doll? Can I fuck you?” he practically cooed into your ear from behind, lips tickling against the nape of your neck, then sneaking around to press chaste kisses on your cheek. 

You bit down on your lip and nodded vigorously, humming in approval,

       “Mm hm.”

       “Good girl,” he praised you, making you throb around nothing while he pulled his pants down, his dick springing out of his boxers, and steadied himself at your entrance, kissing all against your neck in the process and leaving love bites that made you yelp out. He grinned against you, whispering in your ear as he trailed his hand along the front of your dress, tugging down so your boobs nearly fell out of the dress.

      “You look so pretty tonight, baby. Look at you,” Steve nodded at the mirror in front of you and you whined, trying to buck your hips back into him because you just wanted him inside of you. “Fucking hell. Wearing that dress… your makeup looks perfect.”

He cupped your face, admiring it from behind in the mirror for a second, then he continued, 

      “My girl.”

He finally slid into you, his cock already throbbing inside of you. You cried out and gasped at the feeling of being stretched out just the way you liked, by the only man you wanted.

     “Fuck, Steve!” you moaned his name loudly, immediately starting to rock your ass back into his hips, feeling him all the way inside of you, spreading you out each time you took him completely. 

You grabbed at his arm from behind you, his hands steadying on your waist and pushing your ass back down onto him so you could take him all the way each time. You panted, feeling like you were being seared open by his thick cock in the best way imaginable. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you took notice of how fucked out you looked, the force of Steve’s thrusts making your body bump against the sink, your mouth was open in an o-shape, your vision blurred because of how often your eyes kept rolling back into your head. Steve was focused on his cock disappearing in and out of you, his eyes on your ass, bringing down a broad hand to your ass and grasping your flesh in his hands. 

       “Steve,” you gasped, looking back at him. You took some time to catch your breath, Steve glancing up at you momentarily. “R-remember when I said you can’t be mean unless I tell you to?”

      “Yeah,” he nodded, his hand coming up to stroke the small of your back, just wanting to feel your smooth skin. 

      “Be mean to me, baby,” you pleaded, giving him those eyes that set him off every time. 

That was all it took for Steve to start slamming into you shamelessly, wrecking your pussy each time he pounded into you. He grasped onto your arms suddenly, holding them behind your back with one hand while the other lay to rest just above your ass. You cried out at the painful, pleasing sensation of Steve absolutely pounding you, and he chuckled deviously,

     “Shh, doll. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear you screaming for me. Or would you?”

Pursing your lips forcefully to keep from making any noise, you shook your head strongly, but you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from the back of your throat when he hit your g-spot. Steve shook his head, looking up at himself in the mirror, 

      “Mm-mm, wouldn’t want that.”

Trying desperately to keep quiet, you strained your neck to try and look back at him and what he was doing. But he shook his head, leaning down to grab your face and force your head the other way.

      “Don’t look at me,” he commanded, his voice dark and deep. “Look at yourself.”

You looked up, orgasmic tears forming in your eyes as you did so, catching sight of yourself in the mirror getting fucked to the heavens, arms stretched behind your back, breasts bouncing each time Steve fucked into you. The look on Steve’s face was beyond you— he was almost sneering at the sight of the two of you in the mirror, the smug look on his face intensifying each time you had to stifle a moan or stop yourself from screaming his name. You’d never seen him like this before, and you were so glad you’d pulled it out of him in the little amount of time you had left together. 

      “Fuck,” Steve groaned when you felt you squeeze around him, his voice becoming breathier and lower, almost accusatory of your pleasure, “you like this, don’t you?”

You whimpered in response, nodding your head violently, and Steve grunted, slamming his hips up into you and bringing a hand down to play with your clit as if praising your response. His own voice became more and more unhinged, his thrusts growing sloppier and less focused, his eyes zeroing in on your expression in the mirror, 

       “You love getting fucked like this, don’t you? Wh-where anyone could hear… f-fuck, doll, I can feel you squeezing my fu… fucking cock. Come for me, YN.”

That was all it took, an ear splitting moan falling from your lips as you practically convulsed, coming on Steve’s cock, not bothering to stop rocking your hips back. Soon after you came, Steve’s dirty talk became nothing more than unintelligible blabbering, and he came hard inside of you. Breathing deeply, he slid lazily in and out of you just a few more times, fucking all his cum back into you. He pulled out, and you fell against the sink with a sigh. You both cleaned up, and Steve smiled at you before you both left the restroom.

       “Thank you,” you said stupidly, still delirious from how hard he’d fucked you.

Steve chuckled, shaking his head playfully and putting an arm around you to stabilize you, 

        “No problem. Come on, let’s pay and get you home.”

That night, you slept better than ever, your boyfriend Steve holding you in his arms. 

| | |

     Once you woke up the next day, Steve decided to take you to this nice brunch place, flipping on his hat and glasses since it was a little crowded, but not anything too worrisome. Besides, you had made it this far without Steve being recognized, and you realized that in New York, nobody was really paying attention to anyone. 

       Last night had been fantastic, in so many ways. You and Steve had made it far enough to actually become official, to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. And although you knew the distance between you would be hard to deal with at times, you knew Steve would find a way to make it work. He never had you second guessing or doubting important decisions, because you knew that out of anyone you’d ever been romantically involved with, he had his shit together the most. He was actually focused on treating you well, and he had all the resources and the common sense to do just that. So, the distance didn’t quite scare you, in fact, it was probably less of an issue for you two than other long distance couples. Hell, you’d made it far enough without actually meeting. 

       As per usual, Steve opened your car door, then held your hand all the way inside the restaurant. You’d eat and then go home and find some random hobby to do with each other, like board games or finally finishing the Harry Potter movies, or just staying in and cuddling the whole night. You got seated at a table in the back and talked about nothing in particular while you waited for the waiter to come around. 

    You had your hand on top of Steve’s, squeezing it absentmindedly while you scrolled through your phone, reading text messages from your friends back at home. You knew Steve wasn’t a huge fan of your phone, but it wasn’t a habit that you pulled it out while you were meant to be hanging out together. Besides, you had a whole digital life that you had to keep up with for your own sake, consisting of your cam career and your online shop. It’d be silly if you tried to disconnect completely. 

      “Hi, good to see you today, my name is Richard, I’ll be serving you today! Can I get you guys started with some drinks?” Richard asked, cupping his hands together with an expectant smile. 

    “Waters for the both of us,” Steve nodded, and you added on, glancing at the waiter quickly. 

    “Lemonade for me too, please,” you added on. 

    “Awesome, I’ll be right…” Richard the waiter trailed off and you both glanced up at him, but he had paused, staring at Steve, his face contorted in slight confusion. Steve offered him a small, almost pitying smile, and you couldn’t help but huff, humored. Richard cocked his head and tapped his pen against his notepad before shaking his head slightly, snapping out of it. “Sorry, it’s just… you look so familiar.”

You and Steve exchanged a glance, both of your eyes whipping to meet each other, before you broke away and looked back at Richard. You were both slightly unnerved by the comment. In a way, it was so nonchalant, a casual remark. But Steve wasn’t just any other guy who you’d say that to. Chances were, this guy was about to recognize just who Steve was. You almost wanted to cover for him, but you feared that doing that would make things too obvious. You’d let Steve handle this, although you could see the hint of nerves in the smile that appeared on his face as he shrugged quite convincingly,

    “I couldn’t tell you why, honestly.”

Richard chuckled, huffing,

    “It’s just, I swear I’ve seen you before, are you like— have you come here before?”

Steve just laughed, but you could sense his discomfort, and you squeezed his hand a little harder,

    “Sometimes. You might’ve seen me.”

Richard nodded with a decided hum, then shrugged,

    “Yeah, that’s probably it.”

Steve’s shoulders visibly slumped in relief, and you smiled quietly.

    “Well, I’ll be right back with those drinks,” Richard, turning around.

Once he was completely out of sight, Steve sighed heavily, leaning in to you at the table. 

    “I think we should go,” was all he said, and you frowned slightly,

    “We just got here…”

    “I know, but that guy… listen, we haven’t paid for anything. Let’s just go. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I just don’t think—”

    “Okay,” you cut him off, smiling calmly. 

    Things were going so well, you didn’t want Steve to feel like you wouldn’t listen to him when it was important. You also didn’t want him to worry too much. You could see that he was trying to refrain from sounding as nervous as he was because he didn’t want to upset you, so, out of respect, you decided you wouldn’t push him any further. This was the first time either of you had to worry that someone had noticed Steve, and although it could truly just be a fluke totally unrelated to his actual identity, neither of you wanted to take that risk. So, you just agreed with him.

Steve got up gingerly, and nodded at you to do the same. 

    “Come on,” Steve said, lacing his fingers between yours, a sense of relief rushing through you. 

    For a moment there, you feared that his anxiety might get the best of him and that he wouldn’t pay any attention to you, but he had proved you wrong. He gave your hand a squeeze as the two of you ducked out of the restaurant as nonchalantly as you could. When you were finally outside on the sidewalk, you both walked back to Steve’s car, not looking back. 

    The car ride home was silent other than the music Steve put on to distract himself from his thoughts. He truly was trying to remain stable rather than let his nerves get the best of him. He hadn’t quite let his guard down, but he also didn’t feel as if he’d be recognized. He was getting too comfortable— no, he was just doing what was right, taking you out and taking care of you. He wouldn’t let himself sink into blaming himself or anyone else. 

    You were both far past that, far from fear and holding yourselves back from what you truly wanted, which was to be together and feel like you could do that without inhibitions. You both understood the conditions under which you’d be meeting in person, and you understood that Steve needed to keep this under wraps for the sake of privacy and safety. You had grown enough not to let these conditions hinder you, you wouldn’t start now just because of a little hiccup. 

    “Steve,” came your voice, distracting him from the loop of thoughts replaying in his brain as you both walked into the apartment.

    “Hm?” he turned to face you, and you grabbed his hand gently, a small, reassuring smile on your lips. 

You led him to the living room couch and you both sat down, facing each other. 

    “Let’s talk about it, okay? You’ll feel better if you just talk to me about it instead of letting it bother you in silence,” you directed, and he took in a deep breath before sitting back and nodding understandingly. 

You wanted to at least solve the problem before it spiraled into a bigger one, and if it meant you had to sit on the couch and talk about it, then so be it. You’d rather a hard discussion than any issues.

    “It’s not that I’m paranoid, it’s just… I don’t want anything to be ruined because of me. You know, I’ve been enforcing all these rules and… I just care about our privacy and safety the most.”

    “You do know that I’d never blame you for anything, right? You do know that?” you asked him, tilting your head as you waited for him to make eye contact with you and answer you honestly.

He did eventually, nodding and cracking a small grin,

    “I know. I… I don’t want it to seem like one small thing would ruin my mood, I don’t want you to think I’m as scared as I used to be.”

    “I don’t think you are though, Stevie,” you said softly as you stroked his cheek, your long acrylic nails gently running along his skin. 

    He seemed to calm down immediately from your touch, his facial expression softening, but you could tell he was still upset with himself. You grinned to yourself. You liked being able to make Steve feel better with just a trivial touch. You knew your presence actually meant something to him, and that sentiment meant everything to you. You knew he just wanted to keep you safe, especially considering the circumstances of your relationship, but you didn’t want him getting too worked up. You could handle yourself and Steve knew that, but having him next to you in situations like this was just a plus— after all, there was a reason why the guy only approached you once he’d seen Steve had left. 

    “It’s okay, Steve. Really. I get it, it’s unexpected and worrisome. Neither of us really were prepared for that. I think you handled it amazingly. Don’t think this diminishes all the progress we made, alright?” you let your hand slip down to his, and gave it a squeeze. “Because it doesn’t. Okay?”

    “Okay,” Steve chuckled, and you could tell by the smile in his laugh that he was resigning. 

    He was truly enjoying spending time with you like a normal couple would. He wasn’t peeking over his shoulder, he was just being careful. But he knew the risks he was taking. And he knew he’d just have to roll with the punches, that he couldn’t let one moment change everything for the worse. You were practically reading Steve’s mind, because based on his reaction, you knew exactly how he felt, and you already had all the words you’d need to console him. 

    You held his hand tight, as if to remind him that he needn’t be so hard on himself or be afraid that you doubted him in any way. As if to remind him you weren’t going anywhere. He couldn’t deny that your touch made a considerable impact on his mood, as well as your presence. Just your presence seemed to radiate whatever he needed in the moment, and at that moment, it was calm. 

    “Don’t feel worried that you made the wrong decision by bringing us here today. I had the best time. This small inconvenience doesn’t fuck up the fact that I just had an amazing day with you, okay?”

Steve nodded slowly, though you could tell it took a lot for him to take the blame off himself. You weren’t sure that he was fully convinced, but at least he seemed a little less out of it.

    “I’m glad you understand, YN. But I have to take responsibility. I’m not going to become all paranoid again, but I just think it’d be best to lay low for a minute and recover. I really do want to show you everything, I just-”

    “Steve, calm down,” you tittered, shaking your head. “I don’t need to see everything. I came here to see you, not tour New York. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care. We could go out every day or we could stay in. I know you’d make the effort either way. Besides, we only have so much time left together, and I feel like you’ve shown me the entire world.”

    It was true— Steve had proven to you that he cared time and time again, whether it was through flying you out or taking you out without you having to ask. It was the little things. The way he poured just the right amount of sugar in your coffee in the morning, helped you zip up your dresses in the morning, let you blast your music in the car. He seemed to think he needed to prove himself, and you wanted to show him that he had already done that, and more.

    Steve chuckled, and you squeezed his thigh, kissing his cheek. He turned to face you, leaning in to kiss you on the lips this time. You shifted closer to him, leaning in until you were close enough to rest your palms on his cheek, climbing into his lap and deepening the kiss. Slow, passionate, and quiet, you sat there kissing each other. You kissed each other like you were trying to savor the taste of one another’s lips, like you were trying to remember it for the rest of your lives. You kissed like you were sharing secrets. 

    It was only a matter of time before you were taking off your shirt and kissing him harder, grinding against him and riding him slow on the couch in the bright daylight. You were gentle and slow, it was more like you were making love than just fucking. And by the time you were done, passed out and sweaty on the couch hours later, all your worries had been fucked away.

| | |

    Tomorrow was your last day with Steve. You’d be flying back home to California the next day, and saying goodbye. But not just yet. You had all the time in the world to say goodbye, but today you were both devoted to spending a beautiful, eventful day together. Steve had stuff planned for you, and you had stuff planned for Steve. You had mutually agreed to skip all the crying and pouting, and just be happy for the experience instead. So when you woke up that morning next to Steve, who was still asleep, you were giddy to start the day. 

    Absentmindedly, you picked up your phone on the end table beside you. It was positively buzzing with notifications, and you were a bit thrown off by the sheer amount of them. You furrowed your eyebrows as you skimmed through the notifications from the bottom to the top— you had a bunch of missed calls from your parents, more Snapchat notifications on your regular snap than ever, and a plethora of texts. 

    You wondered if something had happened, chewing slightly on your bottom lip. Was everything okay at home? Did you post something meant for your cam site on your Instagram? A hundred various circumstances fled through your mind, but none of the situations you had made up could’ve prepared you for when you opened a text from Aaliyah with a picture attached. It read:

    - Attachment: 1 image

    - BITCH, THIS IS LITERALLY YOU!!!

[sbtlns]

One Last Time

Warnings: mentions of blood, character death, major angst

A/N: this was DEPRESSING to write omg i’m sorry yall (◕︿◕✿) requests are open!

It was supposed to be easy. Garth had called about two hikers who were found with their hearts ripped out in the woods not too far from the bunker. He did some digging and told you he thought it was a lone wolf that had left the rest of his pack and was just moving through town, so you volunteered yourself and Cas to check it out and give the brothers some much needed rest. Besides, newly-human Cas needed the practice and it was only one wolf, right?

“Nice, Cas!” you smiled, clapping his shoulder. With a grunt he pulled the silver dagger out of the wolf’s heart and stood up, turning to smile at you. “Who needs angel mojo anyway?” you joked. He gave you a small chuckle, looking down and wiping the sweat from his brow. You were still proudly beaming at him when he looked back up at you, but the smile quickly disappeared from his face. “Y/N! Watch out!” he yelled, eyes wide in horror. You looked behind you just in time to see a second werewolf charging the two of you before a strong arm pushed you out of the way. You fell back and stared in horror as the wolf knocked the blade from Castiel’s hand and pinned him to the ground. “Cas!” you screamed before clambering to grab the dagger a few feet away. You had just grabbed it and turned to run back towards them when you saw the wolf drag its claws clean across Castiel’s chest, eliciting a cry of pain from the former angel. “NO!” you screamed, running back towards them.

You tackled the wolf to the ground, knocking it off of Castiel’s body and plunged the dagger into its heart. You felt hot tears filling your eyes as you ripped the blade from the wolf’s chest and quickly crawled off of it and back to Cas. Castiel’s eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling shallowly and unevenly. “No, no, no, no,” you muttered, cradling his head in your lap. “Cas, come on buddy, wake up,” you pleaded. His eyes fluttered open and he struggled to sit up, coughing on some of his own blood in the process. “Cas, hey, don’t move. You’re okay,” you bit your lip, looking down at the blood pooling out of his chest. Shit you thought to yourself, realizing how deep the wolf’s claws dug in. You took your jacket off, careful not to jostle him, and held it firmly against his chest. He hissed in pain from the contact and you felt the tears streaming down your face. 

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, just relax,” you said as you fumbled for your phone to call the brothers. Your blood ran cold as you realized that you didn’t have reception this deep into the woods. “Damnit,” you cursed under your breath as a new wave of tears came. Cas reached up shakily to take one of your hands in his. You looked down at the contact before meeting his gaze. 

“Y/N,” he began, coughing as he tried to clear his throat. “Cas, hey, don’t, just relax,” you cooed. He closed his eyes and shook his head weakly before opening them and looking deeply into your eyes. “Y/N, you can’t move me. I’ll bleed out before help can get to us, if you can get reception, which I doubt,” he said in a strained voice and you bit your lip and shook your head, fresh tears falling down your face as reality sunk in. “So just let me say this. Please,” he begged. You stared at him for a moment before letting out a shaky sigh and nodding. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he began before you cut him off. “Cas-what? What could you possibly be sorry for? I was the one that didn’t see the second wolf,” you said quickly with furrowed brows. He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head again. “No. Let me finish,” he said before opening his eyes again, and you felt a sob threaten to wrack over you as you noticed his once vibrant blue eyes were becoming dull. “I’m sorry I didn’t say this sooner. I prayed for the courage, but...” he sighed. “I love you. I have for a long time,” he admitted as your shoulders shook from sobs. “You have made my billions of years of existence worth it, your kindness has changed me it-” he was cut off by a wet cough and struggled to get another breath in. “Cas, please,” you squeezed his hand tighter. He opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out. You felt him take his last breath before his body went limp in your arms. You cried out, holding his body close to yours as sobs wracked through your body. 

You held him for what seemed like a lifetime, before you ran out of tears to cry. It had gotten dark and you knew Sam and Dean were going to start to worry if you didn’t get back to the bunker soon. You gingerly slid Castiel’s body off of your lap and stood up. Your body felt numb as your legs carried you back to your car, and you slid into the driver’s seat. You knew what you had to do, it had to be done and no amount of Winchester guilt-tripping could stop you. You drove a mile to the nearest crossroads and gathered the supplies from the arsenal in your trunk. You walked numbly to the center of the crossroads, heart beating out of your chest with anticipation of what you were about to do. You buried the box and stood up, looking around warily for the demon you had summoned. 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Winchesters’ little pet,” you heard a cold voice from behind you and you spun around to glare at the demon. “Where’s your angel boyfriend? Oh. That’s right,” she said, curling her lips into a smirk. “Shut up.” you said angrily through your teeth. You took a deep breath before saying, “My soul for his. I know how this works. I’ll be a hellhound’s chew toy in ten years. Just do it,” you said with an edge to your voice. The demon scoffed and crossed her arms. “You really think you’d get ten years?” she said raising her eyebrows. She thought for a moment before offering, “I’ll give you one.” You felt your chest tighten and tears threaten to spill over your cheeks, but you knew what had to be done. “Fine,” you agreed. 

You sped back to the forest and ran to where you had left Castiel. You dropped to your knees as you reached him. “Come on come on,” you muttered panicked, searching for any signs of life on his face. Suddenly his eyes shot open and he gasped for air. You let go of a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding and held him close to you. “I almost lost you,” you whispered into his chest. He shakily returned your hug. “What happened?” he asked, pulling away to look into your eyes. You breathed a sigh of relief as you noticed his once dull and lifeless eyes were back to their usual vibrant blue. You smiled through tears and replied, “it was a close call. But you’re okay. You’re okay.”

~Eleven Months Later~

You grabbed your jacket from your room and headed back into the war room. “Come on guys, we’re gonna miss the fireworks display,” you whined, noticing the brothers and former angel were still nursing their beers and sitting at the table. Dean groaned. “Y/N do we really have to go? We just ate all that food,” he argued, rubbing his stomach. “Yeah, Y/N, besides, I think it’s supposed to rain anyway,” Sam said, offering you a small smile. You felt your chest tighten at the thought of missing the show. “No,” you said a little too loud, gaining all three men’s attention. “No, we have to go. We can’t miss it,” you said, hating yourself at how desperate you sounded. Castiel furrowed his brows and stood up. “What’s wrong, honeybee? There will be another next year,” he said soothingly as he made his way to you, holding you to his chest. You felt tears escaping at his words, the secret you’d been keeping from all of them for the past year suddenly becoming too much to bear. 

“Yeah, Y/N, what’s gotten into you this year? We went to a pumpkin patch in October to get pumpkins to carve on Halloween, almost burnt the bunker to the ground making a whole Thanksgiving meal, we got a real Christmas tree and took it back here to decorate, rounded up everyone we know for a New Year’s Eve party, and Cas took you out for a fancy Valentine’s date. Hell, we even hid freakin’ eggs for an Easter egg hunt. What’s with you hellbent on celebrating every holiday this year?” Dean questioned from his chair at the table. You couldn’t answer, and buried your head into Castiel’s chest as you broke into tears. “Dean,” Sam scolded. Dean raised his hands in defense, eyebrows raised. Cas took your shoulders and held you away from him so he could see your face. “Honeybee, what’s wrong?” he asked gently, eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

You took a deep breath in, praying for enough courage to tell them the truth. “There won’t be another,” you said softly. The three men exchanged questioning looks. “Y/N...what do you mean there won’t be another?” Sam pried gently. You took another deep breath and stepped away from Castiel so you could face all three of them. 

“Remember that hunt that me and Cas took. The one with the lone werewolf?” You began, and they nodded their heads, eyebrows furrowed. “Well...” you took a deep breath. “It turned out to be two wolves and the second wolf...Cas didn’t...I mean he...” you stopped yourself, hearing your voice begin to shake. Castiel placed a hand on your shoulder. “I didn’t what?” he asked, voice coated in concern. “You didn’t make it out!” you snapped at him, jerking your shoulder from his touch. He stared back at you in shock, not knowing what to say. 

“Y/N,” Dean warned, voice tight. “Don’t tell me you’re stupid enough to do what I think you did.” You let out a bitter laugh. “I did what I had to do,” you muttered. “Which was?” Dean asked angrily, standing up from his seat. “I made a deal okay! Happy?” you spat back at him. A thick silence fell upon the room. 

“No,” Cas said softly, staring blankly at the floor. “No, please, Y/N,” he said, turning his gaze to stare hopelessly into your eyes. You met his stare for a moment before you felt yourself suffocating under the guilt and you tore your eyes away. Dean sunk back into his chair and wiped a hand over his face. “How long?” he asked blankly. You bit your lip and continued to stare at the floor. 

“Y/N I said how long!” Dean bellowed and your flinched at the harshness of his tone. “One year,” you said meekly, fresh tears rolling over your cheeks. You heard Dean mutter something under his breath but the beating of your heart drowned it out. The room was starting to spin and you felt your knees buckled before a pair of strong arms scooped you up and held you to their chest. 

“I won’t let them take you. I’ll get my grace back. I’ll find a way to save you. I have to. I have-” Cas said desperately, voice cracking. He held you tighter against him and you felt his shoulders shake with a sob. You held him tighter, apology after apology spilling from your mouth. 

Suddenly, Dean stood up and grabbed his jacket and keys. “Come on,” he said gruffly. Castiel released you from his embrace and the two of you and Sam looked at him confused. Sam cleared his throat before asking, “um, where are we going?” Dean pursed his lips and shrugged his jacket on. “We got a fireworks show to catch,” he said simply. His eyes met yours and you could see how much pain he was holding in them. “One last time,” he said, looking at you. You smiled softly. “One last time.” 

[midnightmoonkiss]

Welcome back!!! Pfft. The Hiking with Izuku Midoriya= a complete perfect date/disaster. It would be even more hilarious if it was with a reader who was well versed in hiking and is quirkless. *Waggles her eyebrows.*

Dude yes!

Hiker!Reader just trying to explain to her boyfriend you have to watch your step cuz this fool out here trippin left and right over tree roots and rocks

Ahh when he asks you to help him apply sun screen so you get to feel up your big mans muscular arms~~~~ you just know he’s going to be flexing but pretending he’s absolutely not whilst his cheeks are burning red!

Ack! Yall are hiking in America and see a black bear in the distance

He’s about to freak the fuck out, pick your ass up and run away but you finna need to calm him down in a soft tone, remind him to back away slowly and walk not run

Ahh and he’s also asking questions about different plants n stuff since you probably know!

“Babe whats this!”

“..crab grass..?”

Hnn love.

Also thanks! Tho i never left 😂💜✨

[scottspack]

Over a week ago @progmetallesbian created the “Top Ten Niche Interests” tag game and tagged me in it and ive been meaning to do it ever since!!! My lovely wife @got2ghost tagged me in it again today so it’s finally happening:

TOP TEN NICHE INTERESTS

As a preface, ive seen a lot of these from other people and you all have wonderful, very niche interests (ex: amy & chi) and it made me feel like a lame normie when i started thinking about my interests bc apparently im not into anything THAT niche, so these are the things that to me are personally niche and to everyone else are probably just normal things

1. TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FC: there’s a long unimportant story to how my dad and i became spurs fans but the fact of the matter is that we’ve been following spurs soccer for three years now and it’s an interest i literally ONLY get to talk about with my dad because i have about two (2) friends who are interested in soccer and zero (0) of them watch the EPL. it’s hilarious to me that what is probably my personally most niche interest is the one that is shared by the vast majority of the world. such is the life of being a soccer fan in america :(

2. THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN TRILOGY: this is an old niche and another one that isnt that niche at all but one i feel compelled to include because when i tell you that i was obsessed with this trilogy in elementary school, obsessed is not nearly a strong enough word. i watched all three movies so often that i broke about 2 sets of dvds per movie. i know every possible piece of trivia about these movies. i had every piece of merch from claire’s and hot topic that it was possible to own. my friend and i read about 500 different books on pirates. we called orlando bloom “orly”. i could go on. potc was probably the only thing ive ever been legitimately “hyper-fixated” on and i will defend all three of those movies until i die!!!! if you’ve ever said “i liked the second two but i just couldnt follow the plot” please let me know and i will be happy to explain it to you in excruciating detail!

3. SOLO THRU-HIKE BLOG POSTS: this one i feel can actually count as niche! i fucking love reading blog posts from professional hikers who do crazy long solo thru-hikes. the lewis and clark trail, the appalachian trail, and the te araroa trail in new zealand are some of my favorite to read posts about, but ill read about any solo thru-hikes because i think its fucking bonkers and interesting and complex and inspiring and i hope to never ever do one in my entire life!

4. R/PARANORMAL: i have no reddit experience, i dont have an account, and i never want to actively engage in the reddit community. BUT. i fucking love ghosts and the paranormal so r/paranormal is a treasure trove for fun ghost stories and i read it pretty regularly! a lot of them are silly as youd expect but every now and then there are some really good ones that scare the shit out of me

5. HISTORICAL DRESS YOUTUBERS: it started with bernadette banner and once i had watched pretty much every single video she ever made, i started watching her friend’s channels, and then their friend’s channels. i have no interest in ever dressing historically, i dont really care about fashion, and i will never make my own clothes, but goddamn it if it isnt extremely fun and interesting to watch how passionate these ladies are about their specific niche time period of historical clothing! the talent! the history! its amazing! 

6. INSTAGRAM PINUP MODELS: i honestly cant remember how i stumbled into this world but there is an entire community of classic “pinup” models on instagram who have the most beautiful and creative looks ive ever seen and i now follow like 15 of them and am obsessed with watching them do their hair and makeup 

7. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (2002): this is the greatest film adaption of a book, the greatest period piece, and the greatest piece of cinema ever created by human kind. im not interested in debating, i just know that im right.

8. ENDLESS OCEAN: endless ocean was a game i owned on the wii as a preteen that i played for like a year and has been living in my head rent free ever since. you play as a scuba diver in the great barrier reef and all you do is go diving and catalog fish for your conservation team. thats it. that’s the entire game. and playing it was the happiest ive ever been in my life!

9. BANDS FC: there’s a guy on twitter who combines bands and soccer clubs to create new logos. ive been following him forever and its one of my favorite things on the internet!!! he puts a ton of time and research into his designs and they’re all so good. fun fact, he’s also a gay ally and once went to battle against british footie homophobes! a true king!

10. CHRISTIAN MYTHOLOGY: idk if it counts as niche if i blog about it on the regular but i have a deep deep love for the aesthetics, stories, and legacies of christianity. i grew up non-denominational christian but have always been (prepare for cringe) a spiritual person, so i have a huge appreciation for all religions! but obviously christianity is fairly ubiquitous in america and the only religion i have any claim to, so it’s a big interest of mine to explore christian mythology and the ways it’s shaped human history

im going to tag @wolfbuddy @eremji @curlytemple and @significationary if yall are interested!

[wind0wg0blin]

Could I request a matchup plz? I’m a 5’2F, and I’m V quiet around strangers. Unless I absolutely have to talk, I usually don’t but once ur in my inner circle, I’m the goofiest, most affectionate idiot ever. I’m tough and kinda smart but I’m also impulsive and clumsy at times. I’m one of those people who gets angry for 2 seconds, threatens to bust some shit up, and then will be laughing again in no time. I’m also loyal to a fault and have a strong moral compass, but I’m a kinky mf too so lmao

I match you with the Crucified predator! 

After what hes been through hes gonna need some one like you around! 

Your both confident when comfortable making you quite the outstanding duo able to empower the other through your day. 

Every need a second opinion on something hes your guy, Cruci can often pick out the finer details in things while your best as tackling the larger points. You compliment each other really well in this aspect. 

Don’t feel bad about sharing your emotions he certainly isn't gonna hold back. Some dude cut you off driving home from work? Cruci is there to hear you out. He have a shitty day dodging hikers in the woods all afternoon? You nod in solidarity at how annoying people are. Yall got this introvert connection going on preferring to stay home and watch a movie on Netflix and post-mate your dinner than have to go out and face the sea of people all getting off of work at the same time. 

[dillydedalus]

august reading

minus my women in translation month reads, because i’m still working on the last one but want to include it... that wrap-up will come in a few days once i’m done with the last book. 

not all dead white men: classics and misogyny in the digital age, donna zuckerberg classicist donna zuckerberg (facebook dude’s sister!) talks about how the alt-right, pick-up artists, incels etc. use the classics to assert & justify their misogyny and racism & portray themselves as the inheritors/saviours of western civilisation etc. the main examples she looks at are stoicism, ovid’s ars amatoria, and ancient narratives about sexual violence, which were all really interesting, but i feel like this could have been expanded a lot. 3.5/5

magic for liars, sarah gailey fun & cool crime story about a murder at a secret magical school (school nurse cut in half in magical library!), answering the burning question of what would happen if petunia dursley became a somewhat dysfunctional PI & had to solve a magical murder at hogwarts, where lily is a teacher. 3/5

the lie tree, frances hardinge frances hardinge writes the kind of middle grade/YA books i wish i could have read between like 10-14, where the world is spooky and the girls are angry spiteful stubborn resourceful sneaky things. i loved a skinful of shadows and i loved the lie tree, where curious snake girl (not literally it’s not that kind of a book) has to investigate her scandal-hounded natural scientist father’s death by spreading lies on the miserable island he died on and literally feeding them to spooky science-defying tree - and faith is very good at lying, and very angry, and very much willing to drag the whole island down with her. read for spooky trees, fake ghosts, and victorian male natural scientists being dumb and sexist & victorian female (& thus secret) natural scientist being smart & awesome. 4.5/5

the dead ladies project: exiles, expats & ex-countries, jessa crispin i have been at turns in love & really annoyed with crispin’s 2012 essay on william james, berlin & her own mental breakdown (x) since uh..... 2012 - it says some really interesting things about berlin’s capital-i Image as the city for self-destructive broke & weird messes, it’s very quotable, while also being some of the most irritating Anglophone Expat in Berlin Bullshit ever concocted (’we have surprisingly affordable rents’ sure didn’t age well.....) and saying almost nothing about the actual city outside of the Expat Bubble (apparently every single person in berlin is here because they feel like a failure.... YALL SOME PEOPLE JUST LIVE HERE). this book, structured around crispin’s soul-searching trip around europe, with each city being discussed in connection with an artist/writer/artist’s wife/etc who lived there, opens with that essay and i’m still torn. the thing is, crispin is smart & well-read & occasionally capable of some interesting insight & good writing..... she is also at times utterly insufferable, ranting at length about how she despises women who perform learned helplessness & prioritise men over everything else only to turn around & do the same fucking thing over & over, incl. going on endlessly about her torturous affair with a married writer, performing her ‘broke but independent woman traveller’ while uh.... staying at a friend’s luxurious farmhouse in switzerland for free... at one point she says she never felt at home in kansas bc based on her looks people don’t believe she’s really from kansas & constantly ask her where she’s REALLY from because.... y’all.... while she’s a good-looking white woman she has an ANGULAR FACE. sure jan. there is so much cool stuff in here, and i wish crispin had kept some most of the personal stuff out of it. 2/5 

mansfield park, jane austen hmmmm... austen is always good but this feels like it’s maybe the one novel of hers that is most negatively affected by values dissonance in that its morality feels like it’s from an alien culture which considers a private theatre performance to be the very height of impropriety (aka regency england apparently); as a result, fanny, a passive, timid, neglected girl of strong convictions often comes across as a moralistic prig (i will make no excuses for edmund, who’s just a patronising sanctimonious prig outright). there’s a quiet sort of triumph in fanny’s integrity & conviction in the face of a literal campaign of harrassment from everyone in her life including the dude she’s in love with to marry a reforming (maybe) rake & i love her for that, but her triumph in returning to mansfield park elevated in the esteem of everyone there (except aunt norris who is delightfully vile) feels empty considering that these are the same people who previously neglected her. also edmund sucks. 3/5 #justice4marycrawford #mary/fannyOTP #alsoarewegonnatalkabouttheslavery #guessnot

fool’s quest (fitz & the fool #2), robin hobb the first one in this trilogy was pretty much slow-paced set-up and character development... this one is much better: there’s a lot going on & the character development feels much more organic & complex - fitz seems to have come down from Peak Dumbass a bit & i really liked how it developed shun (shine!!!) and lant, who felt really one-dimensionally awful last book. also there are so many moments when the farseer family really comes thru for fitz & i cried literally every single time. so yeah. this one’s great, can’t wait for the next one but i also really don’t want it to be over :/ 4/5

what matters in jane austen, john mullan fun little collection of essays looking at specific details and minutae and their meaning/importance in austen’s work - like, how old are the characters (incl. age differences), how do characters address each other, what do games do they play, what about the servants, etc. don’t expect deep litcrit but it’s fun. 2.5/5

dead mountain: the untold true story of the dyatlov pass incident, donnie eichar hello i’m fred & i am obsessed with mountaineering disasters. the dyatlov pass incident refers to a night in 1959 where 9 russian hikers died in the ural mountains after they left their tent half-dressed without shoes for ~mysterious reasons. it’s pretty creepy & theories about it run from ‘avalanche’ to ‘animal [yeti] attack’ to ‘aliens and/or soviet conspiracy theory’. eichar too is super obsessed w/ this mystery and even went to the ural mountains & the dyatlov pass to investigate, which sadly makes for the least interesting (and possibly the longest) part of this book (the other timelines are the dyatlov group hike & the investigations after their deaths). the ‘59 timelines are both interesting tho & provide a good look into how weird the whole thing is. i enjoyed this, but i wish he had cut the endless chapters of him investigating, which is mostly russians being like ‘idk man aliens/radioactivity/secret govt agents?’ and him hiking around in a lot of snow, neither of which really added to his theory or my enjoyment. 2/5

if beale street could talk, james baldwin baldwin’s prose is staggeringly brilliant as always. this is a story about a young black couple (tish, who is the narrator, and fonny) in the 70s who are planning to move together and marry when fonny is wrongly arrested for rape by a racist cop with a grudge; tish and her family try to get him out, especially once tish realises that she’s pregnant. tish is a great narrator, at the same time kind of naive and soft, and full of world-weary cynicism about white institutions and racism, and her narrative voice at times drifts in and out of other characters’ minds, which i found an interesting effect. as many baldwin’s novels this is full of rage & violence & tenderness & tiny sparks of hope. 4/5

lady susan, jane austen epistolary novella about a 35-year-old lady susan, a scheming, ruthless, not-so-grieving widow, who is trying to get her timid daughter frederica married to a buffoon. while staying with her sweetly clueless brother-in-law vernon and trying to win over his much more suspicious wife, she makes the wife’s brother reginald (lol) fall in love with her. a very different protag and story for austen & while the end can’t quite commit to either punishing susan very much or letting her triumph, it is a lot of fun. 3/5

on a sunbeam, tillie walden this is an absolutely beautiful (the colours!) graphic novel about a spaceship crew (the spaceship is a fish) who fly around & restore old space buildings. it’s also a story about a romance between two young girls at a boarding school (in space) and about found families and deep space and there’s not a single man in this, just women and elliot, who’s nonbinary. lovely, dreamy and completely gorgeous. want me a fish spaceship. 4/5

between birthday books and birthday giftcards i also acquired uh.... 12 new books??? which is INSANE. i’m not committing to a book buying ban but i should probably chill a lil in the next few months.