#this gives my another reason to HATE jr...

[watch-out-it-bites]

mark, jr mutuals with mimesy and possibly my enemy maze? I might need to make another alt account just so I can actually note down my DUMB thoughts without feeling awkward or I'll delete this blog but I like what I have going on and I don't wanna lose my fun name.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

List of tawog hcs because I'm bored you guys

(processing that charlie is a bimbo now, this is how I cope)

• gumball fuckin hates being picked up, held, petted or just touched in general. He's one of those assholes cats who will kill you on the spot if you breathe the same air as them.

The closest one who got to even hug him or just touch him for more than 2 seconds was Darwin. Gumball's mom literally had to fight gumball as a toddler to pick him up

Penny though, penny gets the favorite person privilege and gumball lets her pick him up, kiss him, boop his nose, anything. Deadass the only one who can do it.

• speaking of gumball not liking to be picked up, penny, knowing she can, does it whenever she has to kiss him somewhere that isn't the forehead or the top of his head because this guy is so short.

He lets her too.

• Darwin can't pick shit up or hold anything because of his fins, so his handwriting is so bad he can't even read it. he always asks gumball to get notes in class because his brother can write better and nicer than him but gumball just sleeps through the classes. So.

• Anais did get her father's metabolism. She hates it.

• gumball does that thing where he speaks to the wall and stares at empty spaces like some cats do, Darwin is convinced gumball is possessed or someone lives again in the house without them knowing. (because gumball did that whenever rob moved around the basement and Darwin associates Gumball talking to the wall to another secret room with a dude living there again) he called an exorcist for the house before. Or for Gumball. He needs it anyway.

• Anais actually has to wear glasses to see well, and red especially. Gumball should wear glasses to see from a distance and he does have glasses for it, he just doesn't wear them. Darwin does does see pretty good, he just can't tell how far something is (he bumps into walls a lot for it.)

• deadass everyone in the family is colorblind, aside from maybe darwin. they think gumball and nicole are blue because it's all they see. they don't know it's the actual fur color.

• gumball's favorite color is orange, because of Darwin, he just doesn't call it orange. He says "whatever color Darwin is."

• Anais Is the only one who actually wears shoes, gumball is neutral on shoes as he also used to wear them but he just stopped, then Nicole and Richard just hate having shoes. (We don't count Darwin.)

• Darwin's only kind of flexible part are his legs. He's super envy of gumball's ability to fold like paper

• whenever someone in gumball's class talks about LGBTQ+ or anything about that topic they all just say "oh yeah I know that one!! Gumball is part of that club or something"

• penny was the first one to get that gumball is bisexual she just has no idea that it has a name so she just says that gumball is "gay but not all the way" but she loves him still for it

• Tobias actually did try to go for the guys to try and flirt, deadass only Leslie actually did give him a chance

• Alan is the one who is actually informed about things like lgbtq and all, he always tried to educate the others about it

• gumball has fights on Twitter Daily because he thinks it's funny. Alan says he's being mean (gumball gave him a side eyes for 10 minutes for it.)

• gumball vs dream actually did happen and it was peak drama at Elmore's jr. High for a while like it was for us (it was too iconic not to make it actually happen)

• masami only went with Alan because she wanted a bf because in middle school it's kind of a big deal about it- she actually likes girls.

• gumball is actually aware that he's a cartoon and that he's the main character, reasons why he doesn't hate rob and takes it more on the playful way, it's all a script anyway.

• tall strong girlfriend (can turn into a dragon and can kick your ass) & her small and weak as hell boyfriend (can't open a jar of pickles and has to ask her for it.) for gumball and penny

• my guy Darwin is into goths and emos. (Carrie)

• Anais also argues on social media whenever she can get access to it, but she actually writes down smart and true facts while gumball says directly "kys" to piss people off

• bobert tried to date a tv before (he had a crush on the computer in SpongeBob)

• ocho uses terms like "fr","lol","lmao" irl and everyone hates him for it

• gumball is the only one who knows the difference between geek and nerd. Or smart words or synonyms kids just don't use, and he always uses them whenever he has to convince someone to do something for him because he sounds smart but he's only saying bullshit in a smart way

• Darwin doesn't understand half of the things Gumball says so he just agrees.

• ms simian hates how much gumball yap. That's why she doesn't care if he falls asleep in class, because she gets some peace from him

• gumball is smart, he just has no care for school. Sometimes he pulls out actual good arguments and complains about society about things only Anais or his mom gets and Anais is Always surprised for it. (The more he yaps about stuff like this, which is everyday, the more she's convinced aliens are real and they replaced his brother)

• gumball is not a morning person, he actually is super pissy and snarky if he wakes up before noon. (Reasons why he just hates everybody at school constantly)

Darwin is a morning person, and he always talks a lot in the morning (gumball hates him for it. Did try to tape Darwin's mouth.)

• Anais Is also a morning person, she just isn't too happy about waking up this early like her brothers because of how young she is.

• Gumball can't eat chocolate, and like any cats he's lactose intolerant (he still can tolerate milk a little because he's a kitten), and he always gets extremely sick from chocolate or just- throws up with lactose. He still eats both.

same goes for the rest of the Watterson, gumball just forces himself to eat both. (And also uses it to his advantage to skip school)

They all have no idea why gumball keeps on getting himself sick from it.

Btw chocolate and lactose ain't good (chcolate is toxic for cats.) for bunnies and cats- and fishes!! That's why my guy reacts badly to it

• neither Nicole or gumball can taste sweets, or anything sweet really. Still, gumball's favorite food is chocolate (and cheese.) which is ironic because he loves to eat it but it's tasteless for him, and he gets sick from it. He's truly a creature.

He likes the texture of it though, that's only why he eats both.

• penny feels like non-sticky peanut butter. Gumball is always looking for a way to knead on her for it, because it's relaxing (and because kneading is also a cat's love language.)

• gumball always forms half a heart with his tail whenever he's talking near penny, or together with her, because normally cats form a heart when they walk side by side, but penny has no tail. So it's only half a heart.

• Darwin is a tryhard on sports, Anais is a tryhard on academics, gumball just likes to sleep because he avoids doing anything that he doesn't find necessary (like any cat, really.)

• Penny likes listening to rock, gumball just enjoys listening to anything he likes the melody of.

Carrie likes to hear stuff like mlp opening, Darwin is with penny on this one.

Anais Just likes daisy the donkey's opening, really.

• Gumball is an introvert and just hates people, Darwin is an extrovert, the little guy is just a little shy.

• you know gumball has a stupid plan in mind when he starts calling Darwin things like "my fishy friend" instead of buddy.

• Darwin always watches documentaries about animals, specifically cats and bunnies because he wants to know about his family more.

Once he tried to slow blink at gumball and the kitten was just confused as fuck, but appreciated the gesture. He only understood it because Darwin stared then really slow closed his eyes.

• gumball sometimes pulls those deep sleeps and Darwin always thinks his brother died. Anais has to comfort him for hours until gumball wakes up

• Nicole is always overworking herself because of trauma, and sometimes envies how laid back her eldest son is.

• gumball can actually draw really well, art is probably the only class he scores in.

• gumball and Nicole actually hear everything I'm the house and they hate it.

• gumball has a tendency of calling everyone nicknames because he can't remember anyone's name for shit.

• gumball uses at his advantage the fact that he's considered cute because he's a kitten. he gets free stuff from it.

• Darwin tried once to mimic gumball loafing, did not end up well.

• all of the videos, or most of them, of cats on Elmore's YouTube are about gumball. He's that one cat that is being constantly recorded doing shit like stealing people's food at restaurants, breaking in by accident, just randomly coming up to people, stare, then go away, accidentally falling from the ceiling. Anything a cat does, gumball does it and gets recorded.

This is one of the reasons why gumball specifically is known by ANYONE and either they love him because he looks cute, or they are terrified of what shit he can pull. (Depends on the day)

• Gumball gets free food because people like to pet him and hand him treats. He doesn't complain about it, even if he doesn't enjoy petting (which is the only thing he complains about, so he just moves his head and gets the treat.)

• when gumball was younger he had darker fur, and at night it looked like he was a black cat (same problem was for Nicole), so he was not allowed to go around alone on the streets, especially on Halloween because people tend to be aggressive or straight up kill black cats during halloween. The same rule was for Nicole, especially because she was also a girl.

• gumball just likes sleeping around, especially during the day. People need to look for blue shit around because it could be gumball.

• gumball fuckin HATES wool, he can't stand it. he'll go insane with wool, and it's texture and how it feels on his body. Darwin instead loves it, but doesn't wear it (he doesn't wear anything aside from shoes.)

• Nicole almost cried when gumball first sat on her lap to loaf. she's very emotional on the whole family thing. And also Gumball never does it to anyone, she feels loved, that's it.

• Richard's favorite kid is most definitely gumball, they both enjoy slacking around, it was their best bonding moment (and still is.)

• surprisingly gumball is better with kids, Darwin is not. Anais Just hates kids her age.

• Darwin is more of a people pleaser, gumball is just really firm on his own boundaries. And now he's also firm on Darwin's.

• gumball, when he was really small, just did not talk. he enjoyed meowing more (to his father) and thrill or mrrp to his mom. He only ever talked when he needed something and neither get what he wanted.

Then Darwin came and he started yapping constantly to the fish, who had a hard time talking because of his new features like feet, lungs and an actual voice.

gumball is those types of cats who yap a lot, Anais is just, silent (like bunnies that make no noise) and Darwin learned to be also a yapper, just a very bigger one than gumball.

• Darwin has the habit of eating fish food still, sometimes he just goes in the bathroom, fills the bath with water, puts fish food, gets himself in and eats.

• gumball drinks like actually cats do, Nicole does it as well.

• the Watterson deadass go to the vet, people like Leslie or Carmen go to arborists or generally people who know plants and take care of 'em. Like maybe 2% of Elmore's population goes to a doctor.

• gumball loves fireworks, but hates other loud noises like thunder. Anais HATES fireworks, but doesn't mind things like thunder.

• Leslie hates vegetarians and is almost glad gumball is a forced carnivore (gumball annoys Leslie with the fact his father and sister are technically "vegetarians".)

• gumball zoomies are almost nonexistent because of his shenanigans he pulls everyday, they always tire him out so he doesn't get zoomies.

• Gumball got accused of being the devil with how stupidly chaotic he is to the point he's the terrorizer of Elmore. Gumball is proud of it. His mother is very much not.

• nicole is the "man of the house", but this is because of cats being matriarchal. And Richard just will not go against his wife's words.

• Tobias feels like non sticky cotton candy, you could potentially stick you hand in there and find his actual body which is hidden under all that rainbow cotton candy thing.

• dude, gumball fuckin hates the boys in his class because they just don't care about hygiene and it just bothers him on another level. he's exactly like normal cats where he spends like half of the day cleaning themselves.

Regarding this, Darwin's only problem is that he constantly smells of fish (which he's self conscious about, and always worries about bothering gumball) but really gumball always tells him it's okay because he can't help it

(he forces the other classmates to take a shower though.)

• mr.small is just always high, there's no other explanation for whatever he's on.

• gumball talked so much about penny that Darwin had to tell him to shut the fuck up. (Gumball kept going)

• gumball has severe beef with Billy's mom to the point he's daily sabotaging her life just so she can move to another town and stop bothering gumball with her existence.

(Darwin is sick of gumball's bullshit)

• gumball swore once. (Reference to the video of gumballs VA saying "fuck") And when he got elected as school president once he won by saying "I will eliminate the middle class" (again gumball's VA saying it)

• gumball always tells rob "gay gay homosexual gay" to the point rob screams at him, like just yells at the top of his lungs and runs away crying

• "GET OUT OF MY GARDEN"

"I'LL SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING GARDEN" from south park but it's gumball and half of Elmore.

And I'll stop because I'm writing something longer than the bible

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

Shut the fuck up. SHUT UP! LISTEN!!!

In the alternate universe, where Willy picked normal instead of scary. Terry would have died protecting his stepdaughter by shielding her from the bullet. Because Willy would have set the collars to aim specifically at scary.

There is NO SHOT that normal didn't talk to willy about feeling hurt and unappreciated by how mean scary is. Willy, (through a combination of being sick and fucking tired of hearing normal bitch about it and an act of "service" he can use to guilt normal with) has all the collars set to shoot scary on sight.

Terry Jr. dies and scary (or rather terri) is confused and trying her best to help figure out what's going on, while normal is left stewing in guilt knowing that Willy did this for HIM. Normal is the reason Terry Jr. is dead.

And scary should be screaming at him, rightfully furious and hateful and mean. At least REMIND him of why this happened in the first place, give him a taste of those cutting, hurtful words that he deserves right now. That led them to this point. But she doesn't.

He's left with sweet, undeserving, 12 year old Terri marlowe. Who loves soccer, whose mom is her best friend, who just wants someone to be proud of her, who doesn't even KNOW who terry is. She doesn't even realize what she just lost. What normal just TOOK from her. And shes trying to comfort HIM, she's telling normal that they'll figure this out, that whatever he's talking about, it's gonna be OK, when they find whoever scary is, terri's sure she'll understand that it's not his fault.

Normal puts on the nightcap, to talk to willy, to scream at him, who fucking knows. But he barely gets through his stammering, accusing recounting of what just happened before Willy cuts him off.

"That's what you wanted, right?" He's nonchalant about normals frenzied panic, not even bothering to look up at him, "She was so mean to you. She didn't appreciate you. She was jealous of you. I'm just giving you what YOU asked for. "

Willy tells him to go break the last anchor. that if he REALLY doesn't want the dads to kill scary, keeping her in that brain-dead fugue state should keep their collars from kicking in and offing her. At least for long enough before Willy can get in there and change them. Normal tries to interject with another accusation, but Willy's glare is withering.

"I'm going out of my way to clean up YOUR mess, kid. I only did this because YOU said that scary's attitude was getting in the way of the plan. If you hadn't spent SO MUCH time devoted to bitching and moaning about it, I wouldn't have deemed her a liability."

Normal stumbles back out of the dream space, still next to the body he tries not to look at. Terri is animatedly gesturing to him (or is it the body next to him?) on the ground, as she explains something to Lincoln and Taylor, who must've come in while he slept. Linc starts giving orders to those around him as normal rises to his feet, wiping his wet cheeks with his sleeve. None of his friends look at him. He's glad. he doesn't want to be looked at. Everyone in the room begins to quickly disburse, running off towards whatever tasks they were assigned. Normal stumbles forward after scary and grabs her wrist before she can get too far.

"I- I'm so so sorry." he chokes, voice watery and thick with guilt. Terri only cocks her head, giving a sympathic but confused smile.

"For what?"

[birkinist]

i have only been consuming jesse spencer media for the last few days. here is me, ranking from 1-16 every movie/show he has been in.

this does not include:

- any theatre he has ever made

- the script & queer fish (couldnt find them to watch)

- voice acting (will do a separate one for that thing)

16th:

blue heelers — lee cruickshank

minor role only. show wasn’t particularly interesting either and to be completely honest i don’t even recall seeing him once

15th:

skum rocks! — david lockhart

another minor role. also a documentary and those are not my favorite

14th:

tell-tale — lover

minor role pt. 3

13th:

time trax — young billy

felt like i was watching cp when this came on. plot is interesting but there is no good reason for having a 15 year old naked half of the time and a goofy voice.

12th:

winning london — lord james browning jr

i didn’t enjoy this solely because it’s based around chasing british boys 😭 not my type of movie

11th:

lorna doone — marwood

slight minor role but he does fine to be fair. doesn’t appear much neither is importantly and the show is boring to be honest

10th:

neighbours — bill kennedy

classic 👍

9th:

curse of the talisman — jeremy campbell

this was cute, even though it does not have great quality i liked jesses role in this

8th:

chicago fire; etc — matthew cassey

i absolutely despise this show but i gotta give it props for how much jesse appears in it

7th:

this girl is in trouble — nicholas feinstein

it was okay. i like his acting here mostly but the movie isn’t very great

6th:

uptown girls — neal fox

having him compared to morrissey is the funniest shit ever. props for this

5th:

stranded — fritz robinson

i would probably like this movie more if i didnt watch it in 360p

4th:

swimming upstream — tony figleton

really REALLY well produced movie and great acting from him. absolute banger sortof shit youd see winning an award

3rd:

flourish — eddie gator

absolute masterpiece, although i think people dont get it. having him be delirious and american will be hilarious forever

2nd:

death in holy orders — raphael arbuthnot

crazy queerbaiting between him and peter. literal religious yaoi. jesse so pretty and gay he acted out a role in which the character is described as pretty and appealing to men three different paragraphs (book).

1st:

house md — robert chase

cant complain about eight seasons straight of jesse. first media i watched from him too so it will always have a special place in my heart.

—

of course i could go into detail but i dont really think none of you wanna see me talk about that. besides movies i consumed an insane amount of interviews and info about him. call me the #1 jesse spencer fan (he would hate me)

[shelfthe-reader]

Greetings mutual of mine, tis I, completing my duties as a mutual to randomly send you questions :D

I dare you… to rant about a character who deserved better GO

(lets pretend this hasn’t been sitting for two weeks)

So my instinct was to start yapping about my #emotionalsupportwhiteboy Jason Grace but I doubt I can say anything new about him. Or be able to be coherent since all of his lore just flew through the window. Then I thought Will Solace or Nico di Angelo but they are too obvious (since they were literally Rick’s punching bags). But instead I give you Darrel Curtis from The Outsiders and LET ME TELL YOU WHY (SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDERS IF ANY OF THE MUTUALS ARE WANTING TO READ THIS INCREDIBLE PHENOMENAL BOOK)

A/N: To make this as fair as possible, I’m ONLY focusing on characterization from the book. Reason being I’ve never seen the movie so I’m not able to average out the three major lores (book, movie, musical.) It’s only fair if I do either the original or all. Not partial lore.

I’m not quite sure if this counts as “deserved better” but it’s still tragic

I first read this book tthan our protagonist Ponyboy Curtis.

At that age, I HATED Darry. I didn’t sympathize with him, I thought he was a terrible person, etc. All of my energy went into crying for Johnny, and deciding that Pony and I were the same person. I didn’t give a shit about Darry’s actions. I thought he deserved what came to him.

But then, in my senior year of highschool (this year, 2024 for those in the future if this post gets resurrected), I picked up the book again, read it three times in four months, annotated it, and watched the musical. As I’m writing this, I’m rereading my annotations from last month.

Now enough with this exposition, let’s get into my rant about Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr.

***

Darry's gone through a lot in his twenty years, grown up too fast. Sodapop'll never grow up at all. I don't know which way's the best. I'll find out one of these days. (The Outsiders, pg 10)

Darry was one step away from being set for life- he was a Greaser who could get out. He was smart, he had non-Greaser friends; he had a football scholarship and was set for college.

He was either 19 or freshly 20 when BOTH of his parents get killed in an accident leaving two kids under 18. Naturally, being the soul he was, he immediately gave up his dream to keep his hooligan family together. They all knew that if he went to college it would be over for the family. There’s only so much you can do in Poor-ass, bum-fuck Nowhere, Oklahoma. And Darry does it all.

On top of working stupid hours in stupid conditions hauling stupid amounts of roofing, he has to parent a teenager who knows too much for his own good. This book is written in first person, and while Ponyboy defends his every decision, you can tell he doesn’t have the street smarts his brothers grew up with. And you can tell that stresses Darry out even more, even with the amount of times Pony insults/shit talks his brother.

Does Darry deal with this well? Hell no. I’d be surprised if he did. So much stupid in one week can drive a person crazy (believe me, I know.) Now, I don’t condone smacking children for ANY reason, but I think here, Darry was in that brother/father limbo and crossed into brother territory. Like have y’all NOT smacked your siblings? But went royally wrong here is that because he acts so much like a “father-overlord” to Ponyboy so often, Pony couldn’t even compute the fact that Darry could ACTUALLY act like a brother sometimes. In the park with Johnny, he even compares it to Johnny being hit by his father. Apparently being a brother doesn’t describe Darry anymore

The REALLY heartbreaking part is the reunion after ✨The Fire✨. When his “Alpha male, if I don’t feel anything it would be better for all of us” facade shatters and he just KNOWS that he inadvertently causes everything after page 58. That’s another burden that no man should EVER carry.

It took a murder, a fire, a rumble, a death, a suicide, a three-day fever dream, and Soda running away for Ponyboy to finally understand what Darry does to keep him safe and I think that’s the most tragic thing of all.

Am I just talking in circles? Probably. I’m never coherent when talking about my traumatized characters.

As a treat for staying the entire length of this essay/incoherent rant, here are the bones of an Outsiders playlist I’m making.

[gonnamurdersomeone]

CoD people as cats? I think so here we go!

Someone better appreciate this I literally took 3 pages from my fucking notebook to write all this shit down

Captain John “Bravo-6” Price

I think John would definitely be an Oriental cat if not that then probably a Burmese. Smart, quick on his feet and pretty loyal seems about right.

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

I think Simon would be a Norwegian forest cat or a British Short hair.. for obvious reasons dude is a fuckin Brit through and through. I chose NFC becuase they are bigger types of cats and used to harsh climates

Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

For Gaz I chose an Abyssinian cat, they are pretty, usually have pretty eyes (like him) and are pretty smart and playful. Very Gaz coded

Sergeant Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Johnny boy would be a Scottish Fold or a Siamese cat. They are very vocal, love people and are just a joy to be around honestly. Plus they suffer from pretty boy syndrome so… yeah

Sergeant Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Gary my baby boy, I chose an OciCat cause of his name it’s so random? I thought him being a more exotic and weird cat would fit his aesthetic. Very pretty cats too!

General Hershel Shepherd

Fucking hell I hate this dude and for that I gave him a Sphynx cat, they are mean, bald and bossy as fuck. Sound about right for mister Shepherd no?

I want to kill him

Kate “Watcher-1” Laswell

Kate one of my favorites! She would definitely be an American Curl. Very pretty cats with a unique personality and it just fits her. That or a Bombay cat I couldn’t choose

Nikolai “Gaz fell out of the helicopter again”

Nik our lovable transportation buddy, of course he would get a Russian blue there is no need to elaborate here he would be a Russian blue. Very cool cats ngl

Farah “Kilo Actual” Karim

She is so pretty and such a girl boss istg. But I’m giving the Bengal cat or an Ural Rex very curly hair and just very funny kitties, I think it fits her

Alex “Echo 3-1” Keller (Jr Price fr)

Pretty boy gets a pretty cat!!! He gets to be a Manx cat cause of the no tail (and his one leg) nahh jokes aside very pretty kitties for a very pretty boy

Phillip “Shadow-1” Graves

I hate this dude with all my atoms but he’s tolerable compared to Shepherd.. But I gave Graved an American shorthair. One becuase he’s American and two his hairline makes me wanna cry

Vladimir Makarov

I hate you so so much for what you did in MW3… but you are a character so I’m still giving you a cat. If you were a cat my guy I think you’d be an Peterbald or a Karelian cat

Andre “Alpha 2-1” Nolan

Surprisingly not a bad character imo but he could use some more character development! I’m giving him a Korat cat or a Singapura. I wish he got more development in MW3 honestly :/

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro! Our favorite Mexican man gotta love him and the cowboys. He’s a petty boy as well so I’m giving him a pretty chill and cool cat as well. A color point shorthair, not necessarily a *breed* per day but still he deserves a petty kitty

Rodolfo Parra

Rudy! Another cowboy we love what a gentleman <3 I’m giving him an Egyptian Mau kitty, it has spots and I think Rudy would be a spotted kitty. Very good boy

Valeria “El-Sin-Nombre” Garza

Mommy issues fr love this women. I support women rights AND wrongs 💪 she gets a Donskoy or a Savannah cat. Both wild kitties to match her wild and unpredictable personality I think it fits very well

König

Anxious King gotta love them! For obvious reasons he’s a Maine Coon cat, the biggest house cat there is. For being an absolute UNIT of a man he deserves a very loyal, pretty, and big kitty. God I just wanna smother this man

Kim “Horangi” Hong-jin

Toyger need I say more? It’s a literal house tiger, his name is fucking Tiger he gets to be the tiger damnit! 😤

Darnell “Hutch” Hutcherson

Dunno the rest of these guys very well (besides Nikto) but I’m giving Hutch a Chartreux cat. I wish the more obscure characters got more attention, no they may not be apart of the MW part but still they deserve love

Nikto

I love this man with every fucking atom of my body. My baby boy deserves the best cat in my opinion the Lykoi. Very cool, funny and amazing cats one of the best he’s just a goober I wanna pet him and keep him in my closet away from all the bad things

Mace

Mace heard some things about you here and there and decided I couldn’t leave you behind. You my friend would be an Oriental Longhair dunno why but I think it suits him

Velikan

Idk if this man is even part of the fandom? Either way I’m giving you a cat deal with it. You would be an Highlander cat if not then an Tonkinese kitty.

Keegan P Russ

Oh Keegan my dear boy, you would be a Devon Rex kitty, very smart, mischievous and overall just a joyful cat. You deserve the world my dear

Logan Walker

Ragdoll. You will get a ragdoll take it or leave or my guy. Just know I’m only adding you and everyone else because of Keegan

David “Hesh” walker

Hhhh.. hesh dude idk I’d probably give you a Havanah Brown kitty. Seems like a good fit. Unusual brown kitty for a unusual cool character

Elias T “Scarecrow” Walker

I literally know nothing about you? But I’m still giving you a cat! Uh I think possibly a Javanese cat would fit you my dude.

Alex v “Ajax” Johnson

Same with you like? I have never heard about you either but whatever. I think a Australian Mist or a Khao Manee cat would work

Alright so that’s all the CoD characters I think? I’m not sure if I missed anyone, if I did tell me and I’ll assign them in the comments or whatever.

No I’m not adding the other characters such as Diego or any other unknown Ghost team people or random background people that only have like 2 lines of dialogue or is barely even known within the CoD community.

[caliburn-the-sword]

List the WORST descendants names from books and movies and state your reason.

anon i promise i don't bite let's be friends

anyway

li shang jr: i swear on my LIFE li shang would NOT be arrogant enough to name his son after HIMSELF. that's gaston type shit (...literally, considering the gaston twins)

clay clayton. i forgot who he's the son of but tell me why his entire first name is in his entire family name. lazy ahh naming

yzla... there is only ONE letter that separates it from being the same as her mum's name. otherwise it would literabbly be a beautiful name for a girl

HADIE AND HERKI. their names are dumb i'm sorry. you cannot just shortern their names and hope it works. lazy af

tiger peony. god why didn't descendants just let pochahontas (the movie) die. major fucking yikes. it's colonialism o'clock up in here!!

hermie bing. idgaf about her surname (even if it's a

mad maddy. name wise it's a blatant eah ripoff (ik she's not the daughter of the mad hatter but come on)

ginny gothel. god. i think all recognisably iconic harry potter names need to be retired for at least another 30 years. i don't see a scary isle kid, i see a wizard nerd with a wand and broomstick

lefeu deux, firstly because it's also named after his father and secondly because it's french (/j)

othello. ik it's a bird but it's absolutely WILD to continue the shakespeare theme down the bird's family line, but using the narrative VICTIM of the namesake of the first bird for the second bird. that's genuinely wild. who was cooking with that?? clearly the second bird should've been macbeth. or if we're gonna go with the theme of "asshole that hates on racial minority" then antionio would also work. also. iago is a coincidence but TWO characters named after shakespearean characters?? the implication that shakespeare still existed in the descendants world?? the poor VK's. not only do they come to auradon and are forced to take remedial Goodness Classes but they're forced to learn SHAKESPEARE in the most textbook and boring way i imagine

twee. i don't think anything needs to be said it's a very obviously terrible name

gonzo. i'm sorry your parents didn't love you enough to give you a name that didn't sound like a cartoon sound effect of when a hot woman walks by

[dcu-rarepair]

Day 2 Gifts

Eight more amazing gifts for Day 2! Head to the Collection to check them out, and view the Release Schedule to see what’s in store!

We also have a handy Commenting Guide to help our Giftees with showing their Giftors some love. And now, here’s today’s works: 

I Will Not Love You (But I Can, Somehow) for syrennetim

Dick Grayson/Jean-Paul Valley Rated T, No Archive Warnings Enemies to Lover, Jean-Paul as Batman Dick hates Jean-Paul. The only problem with that is that he loves him too. Or, Azrael murders someone and Dick helps Jean-Paul cover up his crimes.

Black, White and Red for Murmeloni

Harvey Dent/Jason Todd Rated G, No Archive Warnings Art

Call Me Hot (Not Pretty) for Shenanigans

Cissie King-Jones/Cassie Sandsmark (Young Justice Universe) Rated G, No Archive Warnings First Kiss, Gay Panic, Getting Together Cassie’s day had been anything but quiet and uneventful – it hadn’t even been eventful in the Young Justice way, just the Wonder Girl way, so subduing the sea monster on the docks had been entirely up to her. So, once she’d finished dealing with all that, one would really think her beloved team members may understand that she was exhausted and achy and not moving from her position on the couch for at least the next century, but no. Apparently not. Or; Fellas, is it gay to lovingly cradle your best friend’s face while you help them get something out of their eye

carve your name into my arm for FleetSparrow

Clark Kent/Selina Kyle Rated M, No Archive Warnings Trans Clark Kent, BDSM The thing is, Selina knows how to read people. She knows what they want and more importantly, she knows when they're lying to her. And that's the thing about this unassuming nerd hunched on her couch; he is lying to her. And he is dangerous. But he doesn't feel like a threat.

And Alan Makes Three for BookofOdym

Sanderson Hawkins/Henry King Jr, Henry King Jr/Alan Scott, Henry King Jr/Sanderson Hawkins/Alan Scott Rated E, No Archive Warnings Voyeurism, Light Dom/Sub Hank is dating Sandy. Hank is sleeping with Alan. When Sandy catches Alan and Hank together, Alan takes it upon himself to teach Sandy just how to fuck a twunk like Hank properly.

Lightning Rod for dxncingquxxr

Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Wally West Rated T, No Archive Warnings Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence Wally, lost in the Speed Force, watches as his boyfriends have drifted apart more than they ever had before. He needs them together to escape, but he's unsure if this timeline will allow it. Really, he should learn that he has unending faith in his partners for a reason. - Rebirth but Dick/Roy/Wally and also only about them

Genesis 2:23 for TaxiCabToOwTown

Kon-El | Conner Kent/Lex Luthor Rated T, Warning for Underage Omegaverse, Dubious Science Most alphas would probably chafe at working under another alpha, instincts bristling at the perceived submission. Mercy doesn't care--everyone in Metropolis has Mr Luthor's boot on their throat, she might as well get paid handsomely for it. She could do without watching Mr Luthor throw scent at Superman and have it just slide off and Superman's poorly acted responses, but she guesses that's how they ended up here, in this subterranean lab.

Where the Light Shines Through for Ferox

John Constantine/Bruce Wayne Rated E, No Archive Warnings BDSM, Haunting Batman gives Constantine a severe look. “I asked you to meet me for your magical expertise. If you're too compromised to work, I’ll ask someone else.” “I'm fine. It's just a mild Drop. Which I tried to fix, by the way, but unfortunately it's impossible to get decent coke in your town. You should really lay off those poor, hardworking cartels. Anyway—” John crushes the butt of his cigarette under his heel, “—you said your friend needed help?” “Not my friend. A League benefactor.” Ha. John is smart enough to connect the dots. “Bruce Wayne’s got ghosts? Shocker.”

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Is there any Descendants kids names you want to change if you were to work with Descendants?

Li Shang Jr. hands down. In my post about Lonnie and Shang I explained my reasoning for it but the short version is that it’s lazy. Naming in China is more than just something sounding pretty. Names have meanings and are picked carefully, because as I understand it a common belief is that a good name brings good luck and a bad name brings bad luck. Mulan and Li Shang wouldn’t cheap out by tacking on a Jr for their son. And again, it’s just so lazy! There are so many beautiful Chinese names they could have picked and they couldn’t be bothered?? If it was really that big of an issue… they gave Lonnie a western name, so why not just give the poor boy his own name too?!?! I don’t get it and it frustrates me to no end. I hate it.

Same for Bashful Jr. and Sleepy Jr. I get he’s a minor character but there are so many names starting with a B like- for all I care just consult a random naming generator at least it’ll feel like you put in some effort. At least with Gaston’s kids Gaston Jr. and Gaston the Third it makes sense. Their names are perfect because Gaston is a self-obsessed jerk, of course he’d name his children after himself.

Red, from the rise of Red, because wtf kind of name is that? Her mother is the Red Queen, this just feels kinda lazy again. Ruby would have been better, even though I know there’s a daughter of Rapunzel already called that. It would be better and we already have two Harries so clearly double naming isn’t a problem. Ruby’s a shade of red, and it sounds like an actual name at least! But while we’re on the topic of double names…

Harry Hook or Harry Badun, because it’s a little confusing to have two Harry’s in a story when there doesn’t need to be (I say, while not complaining about the many Michaels in Percy Jackson). For real though there aren’t that many named characters in Descendants so why not just pick another H name?

Jokingly, I would change Mal’s name because I’m tired of reading about the trope that her full name is Malificent. Listen people, if the good ol’ mistress of evil really wanted to be a bitch, this is not what she’d do. This implies Mal could become good enough. If anything, she’d just call her Mal as a way of saying she’ll never be at her mother’s level in any way. No matter how hard she tries, she’ll always be the lesser version. The reduction. She cannot earn her full name, because she’ll never be as powerful/evil as her mother. It’s impossible.

Celia, because she breaks the naming conventions of this universe and it bothers me. I really like the name Celia, so if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s Facilier I’d change Freddie’s name to one starting with a C. But alas :/

Jane, for the same reason. Fairy Godmother means either an F or a G, because those are the initials for Fairy Godmother. Plenty of options to pick from, so while I get the nod to her being a Plain Jane it just doesn’t work for me.

Dude the dog, because I just don’t like it.

Maybe Herkie? It kinda sounds like a nickname for Hercules. Hiero might fit, because it means “priest” or “sacred” and both of his parents are gods. But I can live with Herkie because it’s kind of cute and I can accept it.

Exact same story for Morgie. It sounds like a nickname, but it’s lowkey cute so eh fine.

In strictly universe-consistency terms, I’f have to say Hermie Bing. However, since she was named after the Ringmaster’s voice actor Herman Bing I’ll let it slide.

Pin, son of Pinocchio. Why? Just… just why?

[lemonhemlock]

finally sitting down to write my barbieheimer review and coming out as an oppenheimer hater so DO NOT PROCEED if you are annoyed by criticism of it or do not want to hear it or whatever. seriously. if you liked the movie, good for you. i did not. this is going to be a long rant. i am so not joking right now.

disclaimer that i went to the cinema with the very best of intentions, wanting and fully expecting to like oppenheimer. while that didn't happen, i loved the double feature experience and do not regret it. i spent the entire day at the mall with my boyfriend and we just had a fun, carefree day. i've wanted to see both and had planned to for a long time and it was great. v interesting as a cultural zeitgeist moment.

that being said, the reason oppenheimer leaves me cold is because it is a fundamentally incoherent movie that doesn't know what it's about, tries to do everything all at once and succeeds in nothing. each hour of running time could have easily been a separate movie: one about oppenheimer's life leading to los alamos, another one about the actual creation of the atomic bomb and another one with the robert downey jr plot.

there are huge disadvantages to trying to cram so many different story beats into one singular movie and, if you ask me, i wouldn't advise anyone to do it. but nolan strikes me as the kind of overrated ~artiste that rarely hears no for an answer. this movie was in DIRE need of a streamlining. you can hire the greatest editor in history, but if you give him that script, they're not going to be able to salvage it.

i thought the editing was consistently bad throughout the movie, but especially atrocious in the first part about oppenheimer's early life. the result of this lack of plot focus is that the movie basically consists in a string of tiny scenes that last for seconds sometimes, all meshed together like a freaking montage. now, to each their own, but i cannot emphasize how much i hate this storytelling choice. no, but i genuinely despise it. whenever i see it, in movies or television, it just drives me up the wall. you can say it's a specific pet peeve of mine or whatever, maybe it doesn't bother others as much, but i honestly do not respect it. i think it's categorically lazy, something we've seen in a hundred different movies already and the most simplistic way of doing an exposition dump. i abhor the feeling of watching a mashup passing itself off as some kind of creative experiment in storytelling.

now, had this overused, lackadaisical introduction lasted a reasonable amount of time (maybe 20 min?), perhaps my stance would not have been so riled up. but it went on for AGES. i think the whole exposition part lasted for about an hour and coupled with the hurried procession of unconnected scenes and the asinine marvel movie semi-upbeat background music, the result was just cringe. and i specifically choose this term because this movie is touted as being a milestone moment in cinema or whatever. genuinely insane to me.

cillian murphy meets florence pugh for the first time and within seconds she starts berating him for not joining the communist party. who speaks like that? no natural progression to the conversation at all, we have to get from point A to point B and that's surely more important. you blink again and they're having sex. she stops mid-act because she has the sudden, irrepressible urge to check out his library (??). she makes him recite his famous aphorism from sanskrit while shoving the Bhagavad Gita in his face. the man is craning his neck in the most uncomfortable sex position ever. there is nothing natural about this, just stilted dialogue and an edgy highschooler's interpretation of a cool flirtation. i struggle to even call it that because they don't even get to flirt. too many conversations in this film sound genuinely inorganic.

everything is so rushed. a three-hour long movie should NOT feel rushed. but this is the natural consequence of trying to cram so many things into it: the scenes are too short and, because of that, lack build-up and, because of that, the atmosphere suffers greatly, the actors don't have time to act, the relationships between them feel forced and the overall movie feels like it intentionally won't allow you to linger or catch your breath because then you'll figure out it has nothing to say. there is hardly any physics in it. there is hardly any social or philosophical commentary. the last third of the movie turns into this random whodunit / who-framed-oppenheimer type of scooby doo plot. that scene with rdj unraveling his evil plot to that young man feels lifted out of an agatha christie novel. why would rdj even care about what that green boy thinks of him? well, it's because that lad is the audience stand-in, of course. another stereotypical storytelling trick we've seen a million times before that nolan resorts to in his quest to create a "masterpiece".

there are some VERY talented people in this cast. a genuine tour-de-force when it comes to acting skills, even in cameo roles. yet no chance of showing any of that. they're just reciting lines because there is no time for anything else. there is no time to let their talent and performance shine. yes, not even cillian murphy, the titular character. i know that man can act because i've seen him for over a decade in various productions. not in oppenheimer though. there's no time. it feels like they're trying to read out to me the entire encyclopaedia britannica in 10 minutes.

i struggle to identify the theme or point of the movie. i heard nolan say it's about the consequences of one's actions. bitch, where? i'm not joking right now, there's like maybe 5 minutes of exploring that in a 3h-movie. i need everyone to stop being so unserious for real. i admit that i haven't been actively searching, but i haven't encountered any criticism either. is everyone just pretending to like this movie because they're afraid of being labelled a philistine? is this an emperor's new clothes type of situation? this whole previous discourse about how people will get bored or need to pay attention to what's happening on screen... there is nothing difficult or philosophical about oppenheimer. it's a very straightforward movie.

to me, it feels like nolan took a very interesting topic in and of itself, namely the creation of the atomic bomb, and did nothing interesting with it. he's just serving me facts about oppenheimer* with little to no commentary attached and a tiny amount of artistic interpretation. i say that because it has, like, that one scene when oppenheimer is imagining the flesh melting off of his audience while giving a war propaganda speech, meant to symbolize his conflicting views. the stream-of-consciousness element could have been an interesting lens through which to tell this story, but it was way under-utilized. this project could have slapped actually had it been filmed exclusively through oppenheimer's POV like an A24 horror movie.

*i say facts but in reality i need to actually fact-check to weed out the fictional elements bc i know next to nothing about this man, other than him spearheading the manhattan project

anyway, it's true that i am being harsh with this movie also because of the (undeserved) hype surrounding it and the inevitable ovations attached to any nolan production. but, imo, it is disappointing for a filmmaker of his calibre, with his experience and resources and the goodwill surrounding him to put out such fundamentally lazy nonsense

onto barbie now. first of all, yes, they're like apples and oranges, but one point of comparison is that this is a a very self-aware movie that never loses sight of what it's about and doesn't meander or diverge pointlessly from its main themes and message. after dismantling oppenheimer, i can't claim that barbie is going to revolutionize cinema or destroy the patriarchy or strengthen womanly bonds worldwide, but it's very on point. it's visually stunning, has a lot of easter eggs and cute details, catchy tunes and just general preciousness. everyone playing a doll was actively adorable. the re-watch quality feels promising, it has a very good chance of becoming a cult classic. it was heartwarming and endearing without being too overly sugary & funny without insulting jokes.

the choice to depict men as reductive and an afterthought as counter-point to how women are often portrayed on screen as accessories was indeed interesting. so was the idea of boys and girls diverging once they "discover" patriarchy. now, don't get me wrong, barbie is not a complicated movie either. its feminism is pretty simplistic, no doubt about it, but it doesn't take itself too seriously either. i do wish that america ferrera's mid-movie speech about women's position in society was a little more refined because those ideas were indeed very basic and kind of eye-roll worthy, like a feminism 101 class. i could have done without helen mirren's voice over (it didn't really add a lot, imo, although the joke about margot robbie was funny). the intro spoofing 2001 space odyssey was a little too on-the-nose as well, so i can't say it's not without a couple of hiccups and cringe moments.

nonetheless, barbie is, by no means, a short movie either. clocking in at 114 min, the pendulum swings towards the "long" side of running times. but, as opposed to oppenheimer, it feels neither rushed, nor drawn out. the pacing is just right. the actors in barbie have the space to shine, even those in small roles. the plot has room to breathe. relationships have room to grow. disregarding the subject matter (in an attempt at objectivity, as one might prefer one topic over the other), strictly from the perspective of storytelling techniques, editing, cinematography & character development, barbie is plainly the superior movie.

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP47 SPOILERS!

welp. todays the day. pray for me guys this could easily be the most upsetting episode of dndads for me. im dreading this so bad

- IS THAT FUCKING HERMIE SINGING???

- I CANT DO THIS

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE INTRO TO BE SAD IM SICK IM SICK IM ALREADY GONNA CRY

- "HATING MY FATHER INSTEAD OF HOLDING YOUR HAND" HEY???? HEY???! IM GONNA KMS

- OAKWORTHY IS CANON. IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

- FROM WHAT I HEARD I THOUGHT SCAM WAS IN THE INTRO???? BUT THIS. THIS HURTS SO BAD

- i feel sick i havent been able to move on from the intro

- im gonna be so honest i was expecting a "sike" or something at the end so u can imagine my relief when the little clicks started playing

- okay. okay. time to listen to ur fun facts u sick fucks

- WILL ACCIDENTALLY CALLING THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AGAIN LMAOOO

- anthony stfu i dont want to hear ur voice (hes literally the dm)

- MASTER OF MANIPULATION LINCOLN LI WILSON

- will. what evil fact do u have for us today.

- NORMAL DOES TAROT READINGS WHAT

- WILL IS GONNA JUST DRAW A CARD RN???

- LOVERS??? THERES NO FUCKING WAY

- WILL ACKNOWLEDGING HERMIE DIED IM GONNA THROW UP

- A BROKEN MARRIAGE???? HOLY SHITTTT

- scary plays the piano omg!!!

- THATS THE DUMBEST REASON EVER

- "im really nervous about what anthonys gonna do this episode" U AND ME BOTH MATT

- MY HEART IS POUNDING. MY HANDS ARE SWEATING. MOMS SPAGHETTI /ref

- it has taken me an hour just to get through the intro + facts.

- "but at what cost?" AT WHAT COST IS RIGHT BETH.

- SO NORMAL WASNT CONSCIOUS FOR IT. UR FUCKING JOKING

- MATT SUGGESTING THEY HIDE THE TRUTH FROM NORMAL. I CAN FEEL TEARS COMING

- ATOPPP ANTHONY HELPP

- BETHS REAGAN JOKE TO THE RESCUE

- NORMAL IS AWAKE AGAIN. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD

- NOOOO OFC THEYRE GETTING INTERRUPTED

- "wheres hermie?" IM DONE

- NORMAL CANT SEE HERMIES BODY OH MY LORDDD

- anthony rushing them away. i cannot. i cannot

- "well fix it" im done

- NORMAL GOES TO PICK THEM UP.

- I CANT DO THIS.

- "this marriage has one less spouse but heavens got one more little angel" MATTHEW ARNOLD CAN U NOT.

- im sitting here in shock through all of this

- "just be happy ur not in hell" shut up anthony too soon

- thank god normal didnt take damage again

- lincoln cool scar era okay

- NORMAL PANICKING LOOKING FOR SPELL COMPONENTS LIKE HE DID W TERRY JR I CANTTTT

- HENRY OAK GARCIA. SAVE ME HENRY

- LARK AND SPARROW GIVING EACH OTHER A LOOK HELP ME. HELP ME

- NORMAL DOING SENSE MOTIVE AGAIN STOP IT

- AND GETTING A 1 AGAIN!!!!!

- theyre back home.

- "VOTE WILLY"?????

- "u guys ready to see him?" NO. NO IM NOT

- ty for protecting dood scary :[

- NORMAL IS HOLDING HERMIES HAND AND TALKING TO THEM. WILL CAMPOS DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

- ANTHONY STOP RUBBING IN HOW DEAD THEY ARE

- "the only thing keeping u together is the absolute ignorance u have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed u any real affection in the last couple years of ur life is dead" anthony burch im hunting u down.

- STOPPPPP NOT THE AD

- THE OLD EARTH WHOOOA

- is the dude w the white beard that "new fan fave npc" will was talking about lol

- HENRY REVEAL. HENRY REVEAL!!!!

- BARRY?????

- I SCREAMED I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

- I DIDNT KNOW IF WE WERE GONNA GET BARRY BACK. NO WAY

- MERCEDES IS DEAD..... STOP IM CRYING AGAIN

- THEM ALL CALLING HERMIE THEIR FRIEND. OOUGH

- UR FUCKING KIDDING. ANTHONY DO NOT TEASE US LIKE THIS

- "MADE OF GOOF MATTER" UR JOKING

- NORMALS SNAPPING OHHHH GOD

- NORMAL. NORMAL ISTG.

- NORMALS TRYINF TO BRING THEM TO SCAM?????

- HOLY FUCK......

- THEYRE IN THE SIMPSONS NOW.

- SCAM LIKELY. MY FUCKING ENEMY.

- WHY DOES HE. WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY CARE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS THERES NO WAY

- "HES MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD" SHOOT ME.

- THEY DONT HAVE A SOUL.

- WTF IS SCAM GONNA DO

- ANTHONY I DONT TRUST U ONE BIT

- anthony burch. i hate u

- okay scam apologizing does feel good

- "I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE I WANT THIS ONE" AND PUNCHES HIM. OH. MY GOD.

- "u feel like home for some reason" WAILS

- OH MY GOD SCARYS GONNA TELL NORMAL.

- GUYS I CANT DO THIS I REALLY CANT

- THE TREE. WILL CAMPOS PLZ

- HENRY TOLD NORMAL HES PROUD OF HIM. NOBODY TALK TO ME AGAIN EVER

- ty henry for giving normal what he needed im gonna sob my eyes out

- THEYRE GONNA PUT THE SUN BACK.

- THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING SUNRISE

- MATT OLD LADY NPC

- WHAT IS THIS FUCKING IMPROV

- CHAPARRAL.

- DONT FUCKIJF HIT ME UP

- "i liked u too" sighs.

- "GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE" END ME.

- "hermie u definitely were one of us" SOBS

- "i did notice u. thanks for everything" AAUAGAUHH

- LINK SAID NOTHING FOR HERMIE GOOD GOD

- "lark shakes ur hand, sparrow goes in for a hug" ough.

- OH MY GOD HENRYS GONNA SEE CODE PURPLE.

- HOLY SHIT YALL THIS IS BIG

- THEYRE TEACHING HERO AND NORMAL HOW TO SHOOT.

- BABY NORMALLLL

- "help me normal, only u can save me normal" WTF??? WTF????

- WHAT THE FUCK.

- guys i made it through. [confetti falls on me]

[4rainynite]

EAH Dorm Headcanons pt 16

Alistair & Humphery

One's a future explorer to a strange world and the other is an egg who is destined to be cracked.

In Alistair's profile it said that his roommate was unknown, and it was never stated that Humphery had a roommate so - they're roommates now! The only other person I could think of to be either of their roommates would've been Nathan Nutcracker (he was a book character).

I believe we would've gotten Humphery character bio if he won being Courtly's crush during 'Courtly Pleads her Case', but no, Alistair won (Like that show needs another love triangle)!

After 'Spring Unsprung' Alistair was barely there and Humphery never got too much info so I'll do my best with what I got.

Alistair's side of the dorm:

Alistair is the son of Alice Liddel (his last name is Liddel too, hated that they changed it to Wonderland) who travels all throughout Wonderland. Like his mother Alistair is a curious and adventures soul who wants to solve every riddle there is.

Alistairs's side of the room has a Wonderland design to it to remind him of home. Due to the design of his outfit, he has a ton of maps and notebooks that he uses to take notes of at home and of the land of Ever After.

His wall divider would have pics of his friends, pics he took of Ever After and Bunny.

I can see him having a murphy bed for easy storage and there might not be many murphy beds at school. And it gives some kinda Wonderland vibe to it like it doesn't open like a regular murphy bed it'll open sideways, backwards, etc.

Like the other Wonderlanders, Alistair is messy, but in an organized chaos kind of way.

As a member of the chess club, Alistair has many chess boards and chess decor. Along with teacups and bunnies(*COUGH*).

I can also see a ton of conspiracy boards for some reason.

Being a self-proclaimed riddle master Alistair reads a lot of riddle, jokes, and travel books, so he has ginormous bookshelf to store his books.

Once, he and Bunny start dating I can see him growing flowers and carrots to give to her as gifts.

Also, that rabbit plushie he got on his and Bunny's carnival date, he sleeps with it every night and named it Bunny Jr (Sorry, I just goota say this - I really hate the art style they used for Alistair's bio and doll it's just so - ugh!).

Humphery's side of the dorm:

Humphery is the son of the egg Humpty Dumpty, who is destined to fall and never be put back together. Humphery is a tech wiz and a huge rap fan. In the books Humphery was an animated egg so I believe he can shapeshift into an egg and human form.

As a techie Humphery has tons of wires, cameras, remotes, you name it in his room. He'll even lend his expertise to friends like when Justine to find out who was damaging her shoes, when the mirrornet was down, when Apple needed him to put a tracking device on Raven (never mind that last one was bad).

Outside Humphery's dorm he has a makeshift sign that says 'Dump-T Studios'. Not only is Humphery a rap fan he's a rapper and records his own music. He owns tons of headphones, microphones, CDs, and etc.

Humphery loves to play video games so his side of the dorm as multiply computer screens, a game chair, and many game consoles.

I can see him having those really smart beds that have a tv pop out at the foot of the bed and has a coffee machine built in it.

As an animated eggs and future heir of an egg kingdom Humphery is obsessed with eggs. He total has a collection of faberge eggs from his kingdom and some he decorates himself.

Humphery has pet chicken named King Benedict and gets mad when people call him a rooster instead of a king chicken.

Humphery is a very clumsy fellow (it's worse when he's in egg mode) so he has a first aid kit in his room when he hurts himself.

Despite being clumsy he has taken a knack for sports and trying new things so he has a helmet and safety pads up in his dorm.

Once, he and Meeshell start dating his wall divider is littered with pics of her and him.

[thebattlelost]

Why does love hurt

Why does love hurt

Is there anybody out there who can tell me the reason that we can fall in love so damn easily with a stranger and then inevitably fall back out of love with each other becoming enemies in a war of words and emotions causing major conflicts for no apparent reason while bringing more hate and anger to a world that does not need it anymore, so why is it that love needs to hurt so damn bad when you break up with another then all of the pain that you feel from a broken heart hurts more than just about anything that you will ever know and even though no bones are broken that pain is just as real, I mean why do people even fall in love with these days since it always seems like it ends up causing us so much more pain anyway as all the ugly dark clouds start to move in covering all of the sunlight coming from the sadness of depression which causes so many teardrops start falling on your face so fast you think that you just might drown out in the pouring rain. I guess the hardest part for me was finding out that fairytales were just that stories that we read to our children to give them a sense of security to distort the reality of the sad truth of life. In other words, we lie to our children because we live in the innocence of their ignorance and bliss so they can sleep at night and dream those dreams we used to share before they were shattered and destroyed by the real truth that once upon a time and happily ever afters are total fabricated crap we are lied to, cheated on, used and abused for so damn long how do you think that makes you feel? Angry? Yes, sad? Even more but you just do not want to look at anyone anymore, since now you feel like nothing more than a damn fool. I am not so sure that I will ever look for love again, for I just could not take another heartbreak or even that pain again, maybe being all alone is what God wants for me to be since He gave me the gift to write down all of my emotions and feelings so easily to help out all others that are maybe not quite as strong as I am for it seems like my entire life has been nothing but heartbreaks, and heartaches, with lots of pain over and over again. I know they say that He will only give you what you can handle. I think He is mistaken God has been wrong before, after all, he. Did create you and I.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. A Poet's Journey Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2024

[whinlatter]

Hi, You mentioned you liked the Tent scene in the DH movie which is very rare for Romione fans and book fans… and so I’m curious if there’s other things you like from the films? I would love to know

me fighting for my life in hinny/romione jail after saying i really like the tent scene

Ok just in defence of the tent scene, which I love for so many reasons in a film series I broadly feel ambivalent about... I love that how plays with the idea of the characters just being kids getting a moment to piss about in a tent with the radio on, while the war rages around them (the song is O Children for a reason, and the fact that the train imagery runs throughout the lyrics... chef's kiss). I think it's a thoughtful twist on that line from DH about them being "three teenagers in a tent whose only achievement was not, yet, to be dead", playing with the teenageness of it all. I also really like how it steps out of being a HP film and plays both with a change of pace but also different forms of media - like, if you're converting something from one form to another (in this case, from a book to a film), you can and should think about what you can do in movies that you can't do in books, and music is so important in that. And I actually really love at the end where movie!Harry and Hermione look at each other and something seems to hang in the balance - I think it works as a bit of a wink and a nod to the audience expectations, but I love that they both turn away from it, because to the two characters there’s nothing of that between them, just deep love and ease with another person that they treasure and are grateful for. And then the song ends, and it’s back to the worry, three minutes of forgetting and back to the hours and hours of waiting and worrying. And although I don't really think of the movie characters as the characters, I do think it works as a way to render a dynamic in book!Harry and Hermione’s relationship by DH, which does have this intimacy, tenderness, and these gorgeous little twinge moments of physical affection:

She hesitated, but recognised the dismissal. She picked up the book and then walked back past him into the tent, but as she did so, she brushed the top of his head lightly with her hand. He closed his eyes at her touch, and hated himself for wishing that what she said was true: that Dumbledore had really cared.

Overall, though, I really don't love the films. I absolutely enjoy rewatching them with friends as a nostalgic relic of my childhood, yes I will re-enact the PS/SS chess scene on request, but I don't think as a series they're very strong, either as an adaptation or as a standalone body of work. My favourite film is probably GoF, because I think it just gets the vibe right: it nails the series shift that happens in book four, in that it delivers boarding school caper vibes immaculately, but then also really nails the political/courtroom scenes (the Barty Crouch Jr trial scene holds up as iconic, oh my god!) and the truly terrifying graveyard scene and the tragedy/agony of the aftermath. But in general I don't think the films are hugely well done, and I think giving David Yates films five through eight was a huge mistake (the man just turns the lights down to show that everything is getting dark and miserable, and directs weak, mannered performances from his actors in scenes that are poorly cut and edited. I will die on this hill). If JKR weren't set to make bank that she's going to pump into toxic TERF lobbying in Scottish/UK politics I'd be excited for the HBO series. Since the films were made we've seen how long-form series television can really be a wonderful medium for delivering quality adaptations and is where some of the most exciting new IP has been coming out of for the past few years, so there's such rich creative energy in that space that could deliver a really quality adaptation. But she is... so I am not!

Other things I like from the films that aren't in the books, after a lot of thought lol:

Burning the Burrow scene — it happened in the wrong film (the Burrow probably was attacked during DH, after Ron is revealed to be travelling with Harry at Malfoy Manor), but I think it’s extremely atmospheric, really chilling and beautiful (the reeds! the water! obsessed) Also it’s basically the best/most bearable Hinny moment in the wasteland of film Hinny........ but I digress

The crackling radio scenes from DH 1 (borrowed these heavily for inspo for Beasts, I love them so much)

[robthegoodfellow]

I'm rereading Sideways and listen; I would kill to know what Slick said to Steve when he went up to the bar on his own.

This got WAY more brewing in my head than expected, so here! Have some Sam/Auntie Slick POV. One day I will commission art of my beloved butch.

🍺

The Harrington kid got up to use the gents and Sam, stacking glasses, let out a snort. Blondie hated to see him go, but sure did love to watch him leave. 

Her not-really-nephew was beelining for the booth, having snagged cans of pop from the minifridge—shameless freeloader.

She kept an eye on them as she poured Phil another—his last pint of the night if she didn’t want to catch an earful from his missus—and saw Blondie crane around like a man hunted, a wary cast at the bar. Smirking, she closed out the tab. Least he knows to tread careful.

When Harrington, Jr., strode up, plunked himself on a stool, she was honestly intrigued. Her last run-in with the family who owned half the town had been a few years back, when they’d made a play for the Hideout—for that whole block of storefronts—but Sam owned the building and the land, refused to sell.

For a couple different reasons, most important being that sitting her ass on a cushy mound of cash would spell disaster for her sobriety—she knew enough about herself to know that for certain—and the most sentimental being that the Hideout had been in the family for generations. Her daddy would rise from the dead and give her the kind of ghostly tongue-lashing that left you a gibbering mess in the corner, and she’d deserve it, selling out like that.

The Harringtons weren’t the type to take no for an answer, though—turned some screws to make her roll, made business a nightmare—but instead of showing her belly, she’d gone to Hop and they’d backed off.

“What’s their endgame?” she wondered, when he’d come by for a drink and a debrief. “They just gobbling up whatever can make them an easy buck, or—?”

Hop raised brows loaded with meaning, peering into his amber ale. 

“They’re shady,” she deduced.

He wouldn’t say—not until he went bottoms up, smacked his lips. “All I know is there’s a reason they spend so little time at home.”

“What about their kid?” she asked, wiping up with a rag. “What’s his name—Stuart? Isn’t he still in grade school?”

“It’s Steve,” Hop corrected, waved a dismissive hand as he donned his hat. “Freshman. Think he’s probably better off not seeing them much.”

“So it’s good I didn’t sell,” Sam stated, and Hop nodded.

“Anything that throws a wrench in their way.”

And now, here he was, in the flesh: Steve Harrington, heir to the Harrington fortune, lone occupant of the country estate.

In the flesh in what was definitely Blondie’s leather jacket. How cute.

“Ah—hi, there,” said Steve, quirking a hopeful smile.

Sam gave him the same flat stare she’d gifted his boy. Just to see what happened.

Nothing. Nothing is what happened, except the corner of his mouth twitched, suppressing some private amusement. He cleared his throat, hands clasped like a salesman about to offer a real bargain. “I heard you have a one beer policy for certain customers.”

She flicked a glance over his shoulder, where Blondie and Wayward Edward were hunched, in cahoots. 

“Where’s he from? Mr. California.”

Steve blinked. “Ah—California?” Dramatic shrug when she cut him a look she’d developed that was essentially an eye roll without the eye roll. “I met him literally a couple days ago. Your guess is as good as mine.”

Her guess was significantly better than his. “SoCal,” she decided. “I’d bet on it.”

“How much?” His grin held a mild challenge, and Sam decided she liked this kid. Somehow. 

“Ten.”

“You’re on,” he said, holding out his hand. They shook.

As she drew him the same beer as Blondie, she found herself suddenly torn between opposing instincts: one, to mind her damn business and not say another word; or two, butt into this kid’s life the same way she had the last kid. California kid.

Didn’t know why she was leaning toward the second. Other than Eddie and his little troupe, Sam had very happily remained uninvolved and uninvested in the existence of young people. So what was itching at her to sit these idiots down and firmly tell them what was what? Hell, she’d already given one of them a portion of the birds and the bees speech she’d bumbled through years ago with the not-really-nephew.

Wayne still owed her for that, come to think of it. But if he weren’t up to it, who would?

Maybe that was it. Who else was gonna tell these baby gays how to safely cross the street? Certainly not their folks, not their teachers. All they had was poor schmucks who had been baby gays themselves—who could pass on the fruits of their trial and error so maybe the newbies could err on the side of caution.

“You thought through what’ll happen if it gets out?” she asked, neutral undertone, sliding him the glass. “What you two are doing?”

He went completely still, staring, and Sam creaked her rusty gears enough to approximate a face that read chill out, you’re fine. 

Finally, Steve shrugged, far less dramatic. “I got some money they can’t touch—once I’m twenty-one. Dead grandparents.”

So—safe even if he were disowned.

“We’re in Indiana,” she reminded him. “There’s a lot worse that can happen than losing your piggy bank.”

Steve huffed, so cynical it could cut stone. “Oh, I know. I know.”

This kid kept surprising her left and right. She squinted, took in the flinty steel of his gaze, the set mouth that hinted at a past requiring far more of a stiff upper lip than you’d expect from a pampered prince.

“You do.” She made a fist, tapped it on worn wood sticky from a spill. “Then watch out for each other, huh?” Jerked her chin at the far booth—now git. “Enjoy the beer.”

Steve marched off with his spoils. 

Slid in next to Blondie until their arms were flush.

[kevjrr]

Title: You Came

Pairing: Neymessi (Neymar jr and Lionel Messi )

Summary: An au where Leo is a politician while Neymar is a thief and they’re in love. Spoiler alert: Ney wears a dress!

Tags: fluff, a tiny bit explicit

A/n: credit to everyone who talked about eating the rich on my dash, y’all inspired me to write this!

Third person’s POV

Leo wanders around the gigantic room, his eyes scanning each and every faces. Searching for him, for the only reason he was here in the middle of a party full of millionaires and billionaires alike sipping on their expensive wine and pretending to be saints.

He hates charity galas, the people attending rarely ever did it with pure intentions. He prefers to simply donate to the causes and do regular check ups to see if they need more of anything. Only one person can make him willingly step into this suffocating, loud room and force him to mingle with these snakes.

Leo finally sees him and his breath hitches. The younger man looks up as if sensing his gaze and smiles that cocky smile of his. He is too far to see but he can imagine those brown-green eyes shining in mischief. The man beckons towards the back door before walking towards it himself. Not forgetting to give the people he was previously talking to a charming smile.

Try as he might, the Argentine cannot move from his spot as he stares at Neymar whose long, curly black hair -a wig definitely- bounces against his shoulder blades and his red gown hugs his curves in the most deliciously obscene way possible. To make things worse -better-? It’s backless.

Leo gulps.

Is Ney trying to kill him? He has seen the younger man in all kinds of disguises but this one is a first. He already knew Neymar would look divine in anything he wears but this? This is beyond divine. Leo wishes he could worship the younger man the way he deserves but much to his frustration, they do not have the time right now.

He waves dismissively at the waiter walking in his direction and quickly follows Neymar when the latter turns around to look right at him. The smug Brazilian clearly knowing the effect his current attire is having on Leo.

He successfully weaves his way out of the crowdy room without drawing any unwanted attention. When he opens the door a hand yanks on his tie, pulling him inside and slamming him against the nearest wall.

Leo barely has time to catch his breath when Neymar kisses him and unlike his earlier aggressiveness, the kiss is nothing but sweet. It almost feels like a greeting and for a moment, Leo allows himself to dream of a world where Ney would kiss him just like this in the morning when he wakes up and and every evening when he returns from work.

He dreams that he is in his house with his bag still in his hand and Ney has just awoken from his nap -that he usually takes after his to welcome him home.

He cards his fingers through those silky locks and pulls him even closer, locking away the sound that leaves Neymar’s mouth in his memories.

A part of him adores how the Brazilian looks with long hair -he wishes he could take a picture so that he never forgets the sight- but another part wants it to be his natural curls that Leo is stroking and pulling at. However it does not matter, he thinks, as he lowers one of his hands and places it on the younger man’s slender waist, squeezing it. He loves the way the soft material of the gown feels against his palm. It is so thin that Leo is sure Neymar can feel the warmth of his touch.

They reluctantly pull away for air and the older man’s breath hitches again when he opens his eyes. Neymar is wearing make-up, clearly to sell whatever persona he has chosen this time perfectly. It’s not too heavy; smoky eyes in shades of gunmetal with eyeliner, a little bit of mascara, blush on his cheeks and red lipstick.

Leo stares and stares, not being able to tear his eyes away from the jaw-droppingly beautiful man.

Neymar licks his lips, not hesitating to do his fair share of staring as well. The eldest makes for a breathtaking sight in his back suit with an intricate floral design on his jacket.

“You came.” He says, fiddling with a gold chain that Leo has no doubt he has stolen from one of the ladies he had been talking to earlier.

“You know I will buy you anything you want, don’t you? You only have to ask.”

“But where is the fun in that, Leo?” Neymar grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

The older man’s lips involuntarily curl up and he recites the three words that the other never fails to tell him whenever he says anything about his profession. His ‘motto’ as he likes to call it.

“Eat the rich. Yes, I know.”

Neymar’s grin widens and he chuckles, tipping his head forward to rest it against Leo’s shoulder. “You came.” He repeats, his voice as always carrying a surprised undertone as if Leo has ever rejected him. The former aches to punish those who have put this crippling self-doubt in his mind.

“You asked me to, cariño.” He replies, wrapping his arms around Ney's waist, pulling him towards his chest. His thumbs drawing random patterns on the bare skin of his back, enjoying the way Neymar shudders.

He feels more than sees the youngest smile.

“I love you.” Ney whispers, pressing a soft kiss on the older man’s collarbone before hugging him back tightly.

“I love you too.” The Argentine whispers back, wishing he could shout it to him instead so that everyone hears.

Leo is going to make this man his in front of the world one day. He does not care that Neymar is a thief, a con-artist or whatever else the world calls him and that he, himself, is a politician.

He’ll write new laws before he lets him slip through his fingers.