#this game is doing things to me. like a boiled frog

[ajdrawshq]

i think u should keep it in the main tags as well!!! i really like checking the isat tag and seeing ur reactions and comments while playing :D

all the more reason for me to keep going then!! :D

[devil-in-hiding]

I can't stop thinking about one of the boys slipping himself inside the reader while everyone was sitting somewhere together and just fucking them while the others watch with molten eyes.

It could be a boiled frog situation where the farmer was just sitting beside them, then on top of them, then some harmless grinding, before their panties (if they were wearing any) get invaded by large fingers. That's all very on the edge of what she thinks the others might notice until his cock is slipped out and she is more forcefully grinded on it before being gently lifted and stuffed with it.

Him starting her up again as she vaguely hopes no one noticed when the chosen guy starts to casually talk with both her and the others like nothing happened. (Cue very laden "casual" conversation that makes her cunt squeeze.) Just as she starts to relax around him and think no one saw, he begins to lift and fuck her onto him as if she weighs nothing infront of everyone.

Now she knows the cover is blown but can't seem to remember how she even got in the situation to begin with as the sensations are too much. Being stared at by beings who are starting to look more hungry wolf than man as the guy switches pace and begins to fuck her in earnest. A grin on his lips knowing he "won" and got to fuck her first. (Should he get punished by the others later is a different story.)

I kept it fluid since I could see any of them accomplishing this.

Price: The leader, a strategist who plays the long game for maximum quality results.

Soap: Pretty boy who dosent always come off as the threat he is behind puppy eyes.

Gaz: Master at getting people to spill secrets and bend themselves to suit his needs.

Ghost: Physical intimidation matched only by rigid self discipline, a mental and physical force.

Each are not to be taken lightly in their own rights. I could see them being able to accomplish any goal they set their mind to.. If only they diddnt have a weakness for soft, sweet things.

(Hey, I'm really sorry if this got away from me or is bad. I got so inspired reading all your farmer mc stuff and absolutely loved all of it! I'm really excited to read what you write next. (Also if you don't want these kind of asks but just some praise and feedback I promise not to do it again.) I havent sent someone an ask like this so I'm a little nervous lol.)

i have no words for this jesus christ

this is gonna be in my head for the rest of the day

god i don’t know i can see Soap being an absolute dog Fheirjjejejrjdj thank you thank you thank you for this delicious ask

[merbear25]

Growing up with them (Kid, Law, Buggy, Caesar)

There are so many avenues for this fun ‘what if’ scenario. It’s not possible to have befriended all of them, so why not add a few extra possibilities? They were your neighbor, so there were only a few ways your relationship could go.

CW: SFW, gn!reader, headcanons/scenarios, some fluff, ‘neighbor’s kid’ vibes, slightly humorous tone, AU territory so some speculation has been applied, spoilers for Dressrosa(?)

Kid: feral child, feral child! No one can tell me that he wasn’t the wildest child when he was growing up.

He was sucked into his hobbies involving building and metal. He loved roughhousing, backyard wrestling, cookouts, and swimming pools. Summer was his favorite season growing up because it gave him every excuse to do whatever he wanted, and no one had the right to tell him he shouldn’t.

Water soakers, playing ball in the house and inevitably breaking something, sharing scary stories around the campfire, and probably sent to summer camp so his parents could have a break: these are the vibes I get when I think of his childhood.

Being friends: you had to meet his freak because he wasn’t going to slow down.

He wanted to explore, so being the adventurous type would bode nicely for your friendship.

You’d spend some days down by the lake catching frogs only to set them free shortly after. He was very much interested in building all sorts of things, so you’d help him gather materials, which often left you venturing out to strange places.

He threw the classic “What are you? Chicken?” at you when you weren’t as gung-ho as he was about anything.

As reckless as he could be, he’d do well with a friend who could be the voice of reason, helping guide him when he was too in the zone to see the reality of the situation.

He’d argue with you, get mad even. This boy’s stubbornness wasn’t going to allow you to talk him out of something if he had his heart set on it. He was either going to listen to you or he was going to have to learn the hard way.

Hope you didn’t tell him “I told you” for your own sake.

This hot-headed boy could be a handful, making it hard to avoid arguments at times. Being of the same temperament would make blow-ups a recurring issue. 

That being said, you were still children and most likely got heated over things like “which character would win in a fight” or about who rightfully won your card game.

Even if he was always on the move and doing something, I could see him enjoying something calmer like catching fireflies. You could take the jars you captured them in to your secret hideout where you’d camp out for the night.

He played rough though, so if you ever agreed to wrestling, there was a slim chance of you making it out without some sort of injury.

Uninterested in you: you were a bore to him. There was no sugar coating it.

Even from the few interactions you had, those were enough for both of you to realize that you didn’t want to bother.

Having similar hobbies helps a lot when building friendships, especially when it comes to children. However, I can’t say that this would be the main reason for him not being friends with someone. I could see it being boiled down to more of a personality issue.

You couldn’t really find common ground, not that he was really looking for any.

He never got why you liked some of the things you did, and you felt the same about him.

You viewed the other as weird and tried your best to ignore each other. That was easier said than done with someone like him, though.

An enemy/competition: he’s competitive, he’s aggressive, and the fact that you were just as good if not better than him made his blood boil.

You pushed his buttons and even when he screamed at you, you kept pushing. But, he was going to show you that he was no one to mess with.

Using the knowledge he’d gained from tinkering with various objects, he set up a few pranks. Some were a tad cruel because he wanted to humiliate you. 

Even if you saw yourselves as enemies, he had mixed feelings when one of his pranks made you cry. Depending on a lot of factors, he may send you anonymous sweets (cookies, chocolate, or candies) to make you feel a smidge better.

When you were back on your feet, you both kept your competition under more control, though there were times you were both tempted to cross that line again.

Law: a tough cookie to crack and even more so after escaping from his home country. I tried to take into account his personality before and after that incident.

He was very determined academically, part of which was to make his parents proud but the other was from his own genuine interest. Dedicating time to studying, enjoying sitting outside while reading, and could get irritated easily when his routine was disrupted: he appreciated a sense of calmness and balance but still had moments when he’d lose his temper.

There weren’t many who went out of their way to befriend him because of his unique hobbies, so that made him more of a loner. That wasn’t anything to be sad about in his opinion. He enjoyed his alone time and the few people he hung around were cherished.

Being friends: you mostly likely approached him, to which he was standoffish for quite a while.

With all his staring at you, observing your habits and quirks, you couldn’t help but feel like you were being looked at under a microscope.

It was his way of building up the confidence to hold a decent conversation with you. Once getting a good enough read on you, he’d be much more open to chatting. You’d feel a little less like a stranger even before you began talking to each other.

Being attentive would be appreciated, but he wouldn’t really care too much if his friend was clumsy or careless from time to time. As long as you were kind-hearted, he could overlook those small flaws rather easily.

Although being a nerd wouldn’t be a necessity by any means, it would be fun for him to geek out with someone over Germa 66.

Let’s say you were a big fan of them like he was.

His eyes lit up when you first mentioned it and he ran to show you his favorite merchandise. You’d play with the action figures together, probably draw them while sitting quietly, and then ooh and aah over each other’s art saying what you liked most about their drawings.

Now, let’s say you weren’t a fan of them.

He wouldn’t bring them up unless you asked about it. Maybe you made a comment on one of his figurines, for example. Despite wanting to go on and on about them, he picked up on your body language and sensed it wasn’t your thing. That was fine with him, though. It wasn’t his only hobby, after all.

Even though he was far from the type to take risks and would most likely protest against any dangerous activities (i.e. baking and/or cooking without parental supervision), he really needed someone to push him out of his comfort zone. The little nudges from someone he came to trust were more helpful than he ever realized.

Neither friend nor foe: he was cautious of you for a little while, trying to gauge what your deal was before ultimately deciding he didn’t really want to engage with you.

Perhaps you were too brash for him. He wasn’t a scaredy cat, but he was extremely cautious, meaning being friends with someone who was too reckless would stress him out and probably make him feel like a babysitter.

You may be too quiet. He could be pretty quiet himself, but trying to befriend someone who was even more soft spoken could present some challenges.

Maybe you were far too unpredictable. He enjoyed order and normalcy, which would mean being around someone who spoke and/or acted before thinking would have him practically breaking out in hives.

At best, he avoided you and let you do whatever it was you were doing.

At worst, he shot glares at you whenever you crossed the line.

All in all, he tried not to involve himself in your life too much.

An enemy: there were so few people who lit a fire under him to be viewed as competition, so you most likely took the enemy title.

The easiest way to have made an enemy out of him would be upsetting his little sister. He was a protective big brother. They fought like any other siblings, sure, but he never tolerated others treating her like that.

He’d be on you like a hawk at that point. So much as breathe in the wrong direction and he’d be there to scare you straight.

Intimidation would be his strongest weapon—vaguely threatening you with his knowledge of human anatomy and the least frequented places where you lived.

If you just came after him and disregarded his sister, it’d take a bit longer for him to deem you as a full blown enemy. He’d simply hate you for the longest time until you just pushed a sore spot that sent him over the edge—giving you nightmares at the very least.

Buggy: How patient are you? Because he’d be throwing you curveballs no matter the relationship you two had.

He was known as the loud kid and class clown. He wanted so much attention which made it hard for others to ignore him. There were a lot of mixed feelings about him, especially in the neighborhood.

Was the kid who sent out invites to his birthday to every single kid in class, in the neighborhood, and at the corner store just to have a few show up to his party. He kept his head high, even if it was getting to him.

Being friends: it wasn’t hard getting him to talk to you. Hell, it wasn’t even that difficult to get him to hang out, but he was very wishy-washy with his interactions.

He never failed to put himself out there. You couldn’t help but think that was endearing.

I can’t necessarily see him having been partial to his friend being introverted, ambivert, or extroverted. A friend was a friend, and so long as they treated him well, that type of stuff wasn’t of any importance.

However, it would be a must for you to have a sense of humor. There was no way around that. He wanted to laugh and make you laugh, so someone who was the more serious type perhaps would have made things much too difficult.

Though he put up a good front, making people think he was some tough guy, he was super soft and squishy on the inside—really just needing someone to be vulnerable around. That was something he could find in you. Though it took what felt like ages to get to that point, it was all worth it.

Sleepovers were a massive thing for him. Your parents liked him, albeit thinking he was just a tad odd, but were happy that you had made a friend nonetheless.

There were tons of games you’d play together which tended to involve forts: pillow, blanket, and cardboard mostly. When you played pirates, he insisted on being the captain. Despite his confidence in leading you and your crew of stuffed animals, you ended up having to take control on most missions.

Even when you thought you were having a good time hanging out with him, he had a tendency to leave suddenly, most of the time making up an obvious lie. When you tried talking to him about it, he was often dismissive and just wanted to forget about it.

You weren’t sure how to take that. It kinda hurt. You quickly understood not to take those moments to heart and just boiled it down to Buggy just being Buggy. Even if that were the case, you hoped he would eventually lower those walls—one day.

Weird in between: You caught him peeking over your fence and popping back down. He wanted more friends, but he wasn’t confident.

He couldn’t gauge you, couldn’t figure out who you were exactly and the way you carried yourself made him want to keep his distance.

As hard it was for others to ignore him, it was almost just as difficult for him to do the same to them. He was always aware of everyone, or at the very least, he checked them out before deciding if they were worth the trouble.

Even if you were indifferent towards him, he’d try his darndest to get on your good side. If he didn’t care for you all that much, he’d wait to throw it in your face before you ever had the chance to humiliate him.

You didn’t know what his deal was, and to be fair he didn’t know what his was either which led to him being so hot and cold with you.

He tried just ignoring you, but when he heard you laughing and having a generally good time with the other kids, he couldn’t help himself. He was curious and eavesdropped on your conversations, wondering why he wasn’t a part of the fun.

Him needing to best you: maybe you didn’t hate each other. Perhaps at the most you strongly disliked the other. Either way he wanted to prove how much better he was.

Buggy was all over the place. He’d try insulting you, challenging you, but then if you took him up on it, he’d increase the gap between you.

He was never short of excuses as to why he couldn’t keep to his own challenges against you. When you eventually went home after realizing he wasn’t showing up yet again, he twisted it into making it seem like you chickened out.

It was hard for you to see him as an enemy because of how void of seriousness he was. He had days when he thought you were mortal enemies, followed by days he thought you were cool with him, but then right back to being wary of you.

Caesar: Hope that you are just as unhinged as he is, otherwise you were in for a rough childhood. His voice would carry through the streets, alerting the entire neighborhood that he was up to something—none of it good. 

Whenever you looked out your window or passed by his house, there would be smoke, sudden loud noises (mostly bangs and explosions), or possibly a strange faint odor that made you think twice before asking about.

Generally speaking, I imagine him having been far more reckless with experiments and even when regarding the manipulative side to his personality. Not necessarily feral but just more brash.

Being friends: you’d have to keep up with him otherwise he’d just think you were dragging him down.

Being adventurous would go a long way with him. He wouldn’t have much patience for someone being overly cautious to the point they were practically a scaredy cat. 

That being said, he’d need a friend who was the voice of reason during his more reckless moments. Sure, you got an eye roll and huff for “not being fun” but you gave a sense of balance.

You’d earn bonus points if you were just as into the macabre as he was—pushing the limits could get rather…messy, after all. You could be his assistant all you liked but being a partner in crime would be the cherry on top.

He’d never admit it, but he got scared easily. However, this was reserved for when he felt in danger.

If you were brave, he would hide behind you, putting his faith in you that you’d chase off whatever he was afraid of. If you weren’t brave, self-preservation would more than likely take over, and he’d shamelessly leave you behind—desperate to distance himself from the posing threat.

He’s competitive. He’s also a narcissist. Because of these qualities, I’d argue that being interested in science could go either in or against your favor. 

In your favor: you didn’t try to upstage him, especially if you turned out to be wrong because you’d just end up getting on his nerves in that case. Being into another field of science might make it a bit easier because he could feel like he out-shined you. Plus, it could be more fun pairing your expertise with his to create ungodly creations. If you were right about and/or better at something, you didn’t rub it in—you were humble even if he wasn’t. Otherwise his ego would take a few hits, making him pout and want to get back at you.

Against your favor: You were more clever in certain ways on top of being competitive. I think he’d enjoy some competition with a friend but only to an extent because eventually it’d turn into a rivalry. 

Everyone in the neighborhood would loathe you and forbid their children from interacting with you for a multitude of reasons: potential harm, corrupting their ‘little angels’, and you two being bad eggs to name a few.

Your parents would probably try forbidding you from hanging out with him, believing he was nothing but a bad influence on you. Although they may have had a point, that didn’t stop you.

And you are…?: you were just kinda there in a sense—not interesting enough for him to have engaged with or irritating enough to have humiliated.

Maybe there were times you tried talking to him but due to your approach, he deemed you as unworthy of his presence. 

Maybe he just didn’t like you for no reason in particular: being viewed as unspecial, one that blended too much into the crowd, and overall lackluster—not even being worthy of recognition as, well, anyone.

You kept your distance once you noticed others, whom he saw as mere pawns, had horrific “accidents”.

An enemy/competition: you rubbed him in all the wrong ways.

Whether you’d intended it or not, you wormed your way into his mind and refused to let go of the hold you had.

He had the same effect on you, making rivals of each other quickly and eventually full blown enemies.

The easiest way for you to have done this was either besting him at chemistry or generally being far too clever for your own good, making him feel shown up in one way or another.

He didn’t just want to be the best, he needed to be. Meeting someone who could beat him at his own game was infuriating and fueled his desire to tear you down. There were times when he succeeded, but there were also plenty when you were triumphant.

No matter how much you may have disliked or even hated each other, you gave the other the incentive to keep pushing and bettering yourselves like no one else had.

Thanks to your childhood rivalry and constant pushing, you both had unknowingly set the other up for success in their careers. I guess you should thank each other…not that you ever would, though.

[daydream-believin]

Like A Boiled Frog (You Don't Even Scream) [ch 1]

notes: might proofread this before i post this to ao3 but here have the raw milk version (pasteurization is for losers amaright)

series summary: every time you think things cant get any more batshit, hurricane throws another pile of guano at you. every time you think the hole cant get any deeper, you fall further. and you’re not sure what frightens you more: the town itself, or your increasing reluctance to leave.

or: au where mike has that pizza shop for wayyy more than a week and you find yourself a horror protagonist. or at least one’s love interest.

chapter summary: get haunted bitch. now go drive to utah in a manic episode. go meet a nice walking corpse, maybe it'll fix you. or make you worse. probably that second thing lmao

word count: 7985, oh dear (thats with me cutting out some stuff lol)

warnings: uh, swearing, manic behavior, self-harmful thoughts/behavior, mention of hallucinations/hearing voices, shit this is sounding bad, i mean its canon typical violence so idk man no lifeguard on duty

You know how in Source Decay, John Darnielle says / I wish the west Texas highway was a mobius strip / I could ride it out forever / when I feel my heart break? / Well, that guy’s a bitchass snake oil salesman for romanticizing this. Fuck that guy.

Although, this is the first time you’ve ever been able to set a cruise control and actually just leave it at that. What with there being no other cars on the road out here at this hour for you to run into. You even forgot about it at one point.

Little puffs of fire danced in your peripheral vision, like fairies flitting about. It was easy to spot them out in the night air, all those pumpjacks that littered the desert. There was nothing but these small fires, with the tiny, dotted additions of the glowing red eyes of windmills to light up the way for miles.

And you tried not to think about how if you broke down, no one would be around to find you. Every now and then you would startle at the shadowy specter of a tumbleweed crossing your path, but you were acutely aware of just how alone you were out here.

On that train of thought, your gaze fell to the passenger side, to the little bear toy you had buckled into a seatbelt like it was a person.

“Can you believe this, Fredbear?” you asked the inanimate object.

Fredbear did not answer, of course. Would be insane if he did, right?

Hmm …Why did part of you expect him to.

***

The august sun was beating down hot on your back as you walked home that day. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was only last week.

The neighborhood was as full of life as it always was. The kids running around in a game of tag, the teens playing basketball, and the adults walking their dogs. You could hear some faint music playing in the distance, most likely from the stage setup in the square downtown, not too far away.

There were many yard sales set up, it being the thing to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon like this. Despite your very strong instincts to rummage through all the boxes in these sales like a raccoon looking for dinner in a dumpster, you were broke, with no money to spare for impulse purchases on random junk. And thus, being a mature adult, you walked right past them.

That is, until a yard full of children’s toys caught your eye. One of your cousins’ kids was turning 6 in a few weeks. Might as well buy presents now before you forget again and have to rush to the store in a panic 8 minutes after the party had already started, sweat rolling down your back as you search the toy isle for something the birthday boy would like, while your phone keeps buzzing in your pocket nonstop because both your cousin is texting and your aunt is calling to ask where you’re at because you were the one who was supposed to be picking up the pizza.

 I mean, just a hypothetical scenario here.

You didn’t really find anything good as you dug through the bins of miscellaneous action figures and toy cars. As you could recall, the kid really liked Iron Man right now. And sharks. Alas, you found no Iron Mans or sharks in those bins.

The other table’s baskets were full of stuffed animals. You could maybe get lucky and find a stuffed shark in there. But stuffed animals are notorious for being hard to clean; and yard sale plushies sometimes come with more than just one new friend. You weren’t about to be the reason your cousin had to fumigate her house for bedbugs. Again. So, you decided to close this case for now and skedaddle on out of there.

You took another look back at the table as you walked away.

Well.. The toys you could see at the top of the bins did look like they were well taken care of… It couldn’t hurt to just look, right?

Yeah no. You found no sharks unfortunately. What you did find, however, was this funky little teddy bear wearing a top hat and bowtie.

A real character, that one. The bright gold fabric of its body made it stand out amongst the other toys. The smile stitched onto the bear gave it a weird, smug look. And you hadn’t seen a plushy with eyebrows before.

That being said, this thing’s aura was so... unsettling. You stared into its black eyes, that seemed to stare right back at you, with a strange feeling twisting in the pit of your stomach.

“You like that one, do ya?”

You almost jumped out of your skin when the old man running the sale spoke to you. You had Not heard him come up beside you like that. Creepy.

“Yeah, it’s…” you tried to think of a positive word, “very intriguing. Looks like it’s ready for a party.”

“My granddaughter called him Fredbear. Found him over in Utah, many years back. In a yard sale, just like this one,” he gently took the bear from you, and looked down at it wistfully, “My granddaughter..  liked how smartly dressed he was. A perfect guest for her tea parties. You were right about that…”

The old man stared at the doll for a little longer after the conversation faded. You felt extremely awkward now. Perhaps you really should have just left without unearthing this obvious sentimental piece.

“My grandchildren are no longer here with me,” you felt a little uncomfortable with how he phrased that, “so, I’ll tell you what. Promise me you’ll take care of him, and he’s yours. Free of charge.”

“Oh, I couldn’t. I’d be happy to pay for him, really,” you felt bad taking free stuff from the elderly.

“No,” he said with a tone of finality, placing the bear firmly into your hands, “the day’s almost over. I’d like to help this old friend move on. It’s time.”

Well that somehow was both sweet and foreboding at the same time.

So, you thanked the old man and started back on your walk home, Fredbear cradled in your arms. He waved goodbye to you. The grandfather, of course, not the teddy bear.

You probably aren’t going to wind up giving this one to your cousin’s son. There was something about it that told you not to. Maybe it was the way the old man talked about it. You felt compelled to take care of the plush yourself. Kind of like an honor thing. Or a pity thing.

It smelled a little funky. But that’s nothing a little TLC couldn’t handle. And some dish soap.

Maybe you were just. Feeling a bit childish lately. Too small and easily broken. Moved to tears by little things that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Disregarded and treated like your fears weren’t real.

Deeply afraid.

Yeah, you’d give Fredbear a nice soak in the sink with a fun dish soap bubble bath. And maybe after that, you’ll both feel a little better.

You were alone in your apartment that night, as your roommate was always gone these days. And when you made your tea, you brought Fredbear a mug as well. A little tea party, for old time’s sake.

Looking back, maybe that was your first mistake.

***

Static rolled from your radio. You gave up on fiddling with it hours ago, but you’ve got nothing better to occupy your mind now.

You turned the knob absentmindedly, never really expecting to get anywhere. Or any signal, that is. A muffled country song here, the broken-up voice of a DJ there, nothing strong enough to stay for more than a few seconds. However, a few seconds of a clear transmission was all you really needed when you rolled past a certain signal.

“zZz-Hurricane—“

Now that was a word that got your attention. Not that you were anywhere near the coast at the moment. You know, unless the person reading this is looking to buy some oceanside property in Arizona. In that case feel free to slide into my DMs.

“zZZ-Peach Days! -Zz celebratio— zzZ-year—peaches peach—-ZzzZ-Heritage-zZ,” you let your gaze flicker downward, towards the dimly lit red text of the frequency number display as if that would provide some more insight.

And then suddenly, the fuzz was completely gone, as if you were near the tower itself,

“So Hurry On To Hurricane City!” the spokesman encouraged cheerfully. You could practically here the giant pageant smile in his voice as he delivered his slogan. This man was your friend, obviously. Then, however, his tone shifted as he closed the ad copy, “Because you know the party can’t start without you…”

You held your breath as the silence dragged out a few agonizing seconds, until “ZZZZZZZZ!!!”, in a jolt, the transmission went completely out. Explosively. You even flinched.

You stayed on the station for a good twenty minutes after that, waiting to see if you could hear anything again. You could feel your heart pound against your ribs until the terrifying feeling faded. There was nothing else but static, of course, and for so long you almost thought you must have imagined it. If not for the way those dull words repeated in your head, over and over.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

You hadn’t really had a destination in mind when you took off. No goal other than to get out of there as fast as you could manage. The idea of the West had been bouncing around your brain a lot lately, hence your current trajectory, but you really hadn’t had a clue where you were supposed to be going when you left.

I mean, you still didn’t have a destination. You had no clue what that advertisement was even about. Where they were even fucking talking about. Hurricane City?

Yet, somehow, you knew those words were meant for you. Not anyone else. you. There was a party and the party was waiting for you.

Guess you’d have to look for a map or something in town. Perhaps use the library computer. Man, you would regret throwing your phone into the lake in a fit of passion as you left town, but honestly, this is the longest you’ve known peace in quite some time. Just gonna have to live a little retro for a while. Not the worst thing in the world.

You’ll get a new one later, once you’ve settled in to… wherever you’re going. Whatever new home lies over that horizon for you, you guess.

The sun was breaching the beige skyline of sandy shrub brush as you finally rolled over the state line. You needed to eat. Your stomach growled loudly at just the thought. Funny. You hadn’t even thought about eating in the last.. twenty hours. Which means you should be absolutely shaking right now. Yeah, that’s why you’re shaking. That’s it. You’ll pull into the first diner you see.

You were hoping to at least be in Roswell for breakfast, but there was no way your body was going to be able to keep running if you waited that long. Looks like it’s just going to be the first place you come across.

Hopefully they don’t put green chilis in their pancakes or something.

That sounds insane but it’s an actual thing you’ve seen before in this state, trust. There are no laws nor gods when it comes to Hatch green chilis.

***

Your sleepy brain was not ready for the bell that rang as you walked through the door. Embarrassingly enough, the tinny noise startled you. You almost tripped, to be honest. Thankfully your wobbly Bambi legs held up as you managed to catch yourself.

The hostess wasn’t in sight as you awkwardly stood in the entrance, but there was a whole heap of noise coming from the kitchen.

“Hold on just a second, Sweetpea!” a voice called out to you.

Well, guess you’re holding on a second.

Your eyes scanned the top of the walls, perusing the vast cookie jar collection that the owner had accrued over the years. They were never dusted, despite being on shelves that lined the top of every wall in the tiny shack of a diner, and thus you could easily tell that a few new additions had been made. You know, because those cookie jars were way less filthy.

That’s gotta be a heath-code violation.

After you heard a bit of garbled yelling, the hostess rushed out to take her place in front of you. Smoothing down her polka-dotted apron, she grinned at you.

“Table for two?”

You blinked. It was too early in the morning for fully intelligent speech.

“Uh. No. Just me today. Thank you.”

Her big, bedazzled cat-eyeglasses fell a little farther down her nose as she scrunched her face in confusion, “alright then. Just the one of you today...”

She grabbed a paper menu as she led your shambling body to a table near the window. Which was shut away with ancient looking vinyl blinds that you were too afraid to open, lest they crumble and the cost of replacing them be put on your on tab.

She had already disappeared back into the kitchen by the time you got yourself in a seat. You glanced around the room. You weren’t the only patron here, as a few tables held a few bodies, but you were the only one without your face buried in a newspaper. And to be expected honestly, you were the youngest person in the room at seven in the morning.

The hostess, who was also the only waitress in this tiny local business, placed two glasses in front of you. The dull sound they made hitting the table drew you out of your revelry. There before you were two cups, a steaming mug of fresh coffee and a short glass of milk. You looked up in confusion.

“Don’t worry, it’s whole milk. Builds strong bones.”

That... wasn’t your concern.

You looked back at the cup in confusion and by the time you turned back, she had already moved on to the next table, refilling mugs and having loud banter with the other customers. Her regulars, by the sound of it. You felt too apathetic to try and call her over again.

You shrugged, to no one in particular, as you did not have a breakfast partner with you, despite the waitress’s insistence otherwise. Wait, was she mocking you? Eh, maybe it’s just supposed to be for the coffee. Nevertheless, you would not be drinking the milk, so you just left it there.

Despite the prevalence of the local newspaper in the room, there wasn’t a dispenser or anything at the front of the restaurant, like there usually is. As you drummed your fingers on the tablecloth, bored out of your mind, you kinda regretted throwing your phone in the lake a bit more. Maybe not the best of moves.

But hey, at least you aren’t constantly quelling the incessant buzzing you’d be hearing if you’d kept it.

You busied yourself stirring your coffee while you looked over the menu again, just for something to read. Of course, you were ordering a waffle. Because this was a diner, and, yeah, you do like waffles. And pancakes. And French toast. Doodoodoodoo can’t wait to get a mouthful.

That voice kept echoing in your mind. The party can’t start without you.

“More coffee, Babycakes?” the waitress snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh! Yeah, thank you,” you moved the mug to the edge of the table, closer to her, “Say… I know this is an out-of-pocket question, but have you heard anything about Hurricane City? Maybe something about peaches?”

“Oh!” she snapped her fingers, “You mean the Peach Days. It’s a little heritage festival they put on every summer in Hurricane, you know. It’s a hoot, my family makes a trip out there every few years or so for it. Not this time of course, clearly, since I’m here talkin’ to you and not in Utah—”

“In Utah?”

Of course, it was Fucking Utah again.

“I know it’s soundin’ far, but it’s only ‘bout a day’s drive from here. Two days if y’ain’t crazy about following an itinerary like my husband,” she brushed a hand over her apron before you lost her attention to the other customers, “I swear that man would plan out a schedule for every second of the day if he could…”

After she wandered off to go top off more mugs, you lamented the fact that you still hadn’t ordered yet. That’s what you get for being nosy about peach festivals, you suppose.

Thankfully though, soon enough you had your hearty breakfast and were back in front of the wheel, on your way to the friendly neighborhood Walmart. Where hopefully no cops or employees would bother you as you crashed in the parking lot.

You took Fredbear to the backseat with you for good luck. Maybe it was the gold color, or the fancy getup he had. Maybe you just needed a cuddle buddy to not feel so alone in this parking lot swarming with people.

Much to your disdain, it was now a bit into the morning hours, and the sun was fully up.

You had tried to find as shady a spot as possible, but it’s not exactly like trees grow in this biome. At least not naturally. Windbreak tree lines were definitely a thing, but those protected buildings people cared about, and this was a Walmart. Nothing around here but concrete, rocks spray painted blue, and cigarette butts.

So after tossing and turning in the bright blinding sunshine for way longer than you should have, and making promises to higher deities was proven to be unfruitful in your attempt to find some semblance of peace, you finally just had to admit defeat. And here by rescinding any aforementioned promises to higher powers.

You laid Fredbear back down on the seat and tucked him in with the blanket when you got back up. At least one of you could be cozy and well rested. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be you, however.

Well, it’s far from the first all-nighter you’ve pulled without having time to take a nap during the following day. Sleep deprivation isn’t real, silly. Teachers just made that up to scare you. It’ll be fine.

***

You know you never really realize how much we structure our lives around other humans until you take a drive through the middle of nowhere. How essential it is to have enough gas to make it to the next town. From town to town, your life becomes segments. Only within the eyesight of other humans are you ever safe. Only within the bounds of the settlement can your soul be settled.

Gas stations become oases. Which is the plural of oasis, apparently. Anyway, you start seeing them like mirages. Dingey, weather-worn gas pumps become as good as a sparkling illusion of precious water in the Sahara. The empty shells of buildings you passed by, long since forgotten, became like mausoleums in these graveyard towns. Villages. Hamlets. Mostly hamlets.

“Are we there yet?” a small and very annoyed voice called out.

You had just written it off as your imagination until you heard the noise of shuffling fabric. Normally your audio hallucinations aren’t that detailed. Paralyzed, you held your breath, not daring to make any noise that would distract your ears from hearing whoever, whatever, was in the back seat. Your mind went to stories of skinwalkers and misshapen monsters and hitch-hiking serial killers.

“… Are we there yet?” the voice repeated, admittedly sounding even smaller to you now.

Yep, that’s a real person alright. Or a real thing. Your eyes were probably bloodshot from the way you haven’t blinked this entire time, just staring straight ahead on the desert highway. Taking a deep, shaky breath to steady yourself, you turned down the rear-view mirror…

Christ almighty. You had a stowaway.

Your stomach turned immediately. God, come on now, don’t puke up what little you had on your stomach. You need that.

“Hey Buddy,” you tried to sound as friendly as you could, “What’s your name?”

Clad in a little striped shirt and cargo shorts, he started kicking his feet in impatience, which would be cute if it weren’t for this situation y’all are in, and the adrenaline pumping through your veins, “We’ve been in here forever,” he whined.

If this was a skinwalker, he was a pretty darn adorable one. And definitely not a hitch-hiking serial killer. At least you hoped. But no, this was a greater form of terror: responsibility.

“Haha, yeah, we have been in here really long, haven’t we? How long do you think we’ve been driving, can you tell me?”

When did you pick up this child. When you got gas in Gallup? Albuquerque? Dear lord, if he’s been in here since Roswell, you’re about to have the world’s biggest headache on your hands, both metaphorically and physically. But there’s no way he’s been in here for fucking 10 hours, right? right??

Okay, okay. Maybe you’re just a little panicky right now and not thinking straight. Maybe teachers hadn’t been making up sleep deprivation just to scare you after all. You have been purposely not drinking anything for the lack of available restrooms. People get dehydration hallucinations, right?

The boy just stared at you, blankly. Probably fully realizing you were a stranger and not whoever he thought you were. In lieu of answering you, he started fidgeting more with the toy bear you had had in the back. You really hoped that hadn’t been what lured him into your station wagon in the first place.

Don’t be getting shy on me now, kid.

You put your blinker on, ready to merge off the road and onto an incoming rest-stop that you thanked your lucky stars for.

“Honey, can you tell me what your phone number is?”

He looked up at you, finally tearing his attention from the bear, and you could see gears turning in his head.

“…435-555-1987?”

You repeated it back to him, and he nodded. Alright, time to find that payphone.

Said rest-stop payphone was thankfully near a picnic table so you could sit him down and be able to watch him carefully the whole time you made this call. Because judging by the fact this situation was happening at all, he was a slippery one.

You got out of the car and opened the back door, but he was hesitant to get out. Which, fair, you are a stranger trying to get him to a second location.

“What’s up, Bud?” you tried your hardest to not sound like a predator but boy was that a real nebulous idea, wasn’t it?

“Fredbear wants to come too,” he mutters.

“Well, sure then, let’s bring him, we’ll have a little picnic.” With no food, but hey, whatever lie it takes to get him sitting on that bench.

It was really cute the way the kid set the bear down on the table and positioned it like they were going to have a picnic together. When you find this kid’s parents, you’ll let him keep Fredbear. Toys like it when they’re given to new children, right? Wasn’t there a movie about that or something. Wincing at the grubbiness of the payphone, you reluctantly dialed the number.

“Hello, Jeff’s Pizza on Main St, are you ready to order?”

You closed your eyes, counting the seconds as you breathed in for 4 seconds, held it for 7, and released for 8.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes!” you practically shouted into the receiver. So much for calming down, “please don’t hang up,” you pleaded.

“Listen, we don’t take solicitation,”

“No, uh, sorry. I’ve found a lost child who told me this was his number. Is the owner of this restaurant by chance frantically looking for their son?”

You heard some muffled conversation happening behind the phone, “Well, no, I don’t even have any kids… and I uh, am currently understaffed. Im the only one here.”

you cursed under your breath.

“Uh, alright, well…” you could tell this was getting really awkward for him.

“Could you tell me where y’all are, I’m unfamiliar with the area code,”

“Uh, Hurricane, Utah?”

… If you weren’t on the phone, you fucking swear you’d be screeching at the top of your lungs like a chimpanzee right now.

“Thank you, you know, just in case he’s just remembering an advertisement he’s seen or something,”

“Oh, okay,” there was a pause, “well I hope you find the parents or, whoever,”

“Thank you,” you’ll put him out of his misery and hang up.

“Are you sure that’s your number, Hon?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Why don’t you tell me it again, maybe I dialed it wrong,”

“435-5--” his face scrunched up in concentration, “435-555—I don’t know…”

You tried not to look visibly stressed at this answer.

“Do you know where you live?”

He moved the bears paws along with whatever little game he was playing, before looking up at you, head tilted in confusion, “Hurricane?”

Okay. Police time. If not for him, for you. The skinwalker possibility just went back up. Because, honestly, he had to have gotten in your car as a coyote or something. No way you wouldn’t’ve noticed a whole ass child entering your car.

“How does ice cream sound, huh Buddy?”

“I want ice cream!” he said hastily as if you’d change your mind if he hesitated.

“Ice cream it is then, but only if you’re good for me and the officers, okay? And tell them everything you can remember. You’re smart, right?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Great,” you smiled over clenched teeth.

After herding him back into the car, you had to take a moment to gently rest your head into the steering wheel. And it took everything within you to not smash said head into it. Or scream in agony. No, no, we mustn’t scare the child.

Tuba City wasn’t too far away. The police station was downtown, as most are. Luckily, across the street there was a paleteria with a courtyard area. The little guy got very excited when you got pulled into the parking space, so eh, what the hell, ice cream first. Maybe after a treat and some playtime in the courtyard he won’t be as wiggly and will be able to tell the cops what he knows about just where the hell he came from.

The noise of the bell chiming made you flinch as you two walked into the paleteria. You hadn’t thought you were that tightly wound right now but apparently you were wrong. The lady behind the counter greeted you warmly, and you responded in turn, trying to play it cool.

God, imagine if she got an off-vibe from you and the kid and called over the police from across the street before you even have a chance—

Deep breath. Okay. The kid you had started referring to in your head as just “Little Boy” was leaned against the display case, his breath fogging up the glass in front of him and probably leaving little handprints for the shopkeeper to clean later.

“I’m sorry about that,”

“That’s… Okay. What can I get you?” she seemed a little confused. Strange, but you brushed past it just as quickly as she did.

“Ah, what do we want?” you asked Little Boy.

He excitedly tugged on your pantleg and pointed to the popsicle he wanted, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. He doesn’t need to convince you, but you quickly realized you were not going to be able to say no to any else after this if he deployed the same cute begging look.

“One of those cute little Tweety Bird faces,” you pointed.

“Anything else?” she handed you the popsicle and you gingerly took it.

“Nah, that’s it” you were too nauseous to eat right now.

You paid, throwing the change into the tip jar, and turned to give Little Boy the popsicle she handed you.  The words caught in your throat as you looked down to find your pantleg absent of any tugging by any Little Boy. You quickly scanned the tiny paleteria. He was nowhere to be found, anywhere in the room.

“Uh, did you see where the kid went?” you tried not to sound too panicked.

She was taken aback, also quickly looking around the room to find no one, before shaking her head, “Did you have a kid with you?”

You furiously nodded in confusion,

“I’m sorry, then I didn’t see them,” she pointed to the glass door that led to the courtyard only a few feet away from y’all, “Try outside, maybe?”

You burst outside, searching the area in a panic, but you couldn’t see him anywhere. Not hidden in the tangle of the garden, not splashing around in the fountain, not at, under, on top of, or around any of the tables.

You went to call his name, but your voice caught in your throat when you realized you didn’t have a name to call. And.

And.

Something hit your shirt. A water droplet. You looked up into the clear, blinding blue sky. Your nerves tickled as another droplet ran down your cheek. Oh, you were crying. Huh.

You took the closet seat you could find, counting the things processed by your 5 senses. It’s all you could do to not start bawling for no reason. Maybe you’ll calm down and be able to think straight soon.

Why can’t you think straight? Everything feels so fuzzy.

You should be terrified, and in a way, you were. In your heart of hearts, you knew the truth: Little Boy wasn’t real. Or at least turned back into a coyote and ran off.

As you stared vacantly into the open air, you realized you still had a dripping popsicle in your hands. Supposedly “Tweety Bird” shaped, it just looked like a yellow skull missing its mandible bone to you. How fitting.

You pulled it to your mouth. Yum. Tasted like AAAAAAAA. Or orange, according to the package.

Attempting to lick the melted yellow liquid off of your hand, you accidentally stuck the ice pop on your face. Great. Now you’re sticky all over.

God, you’ve really gone and lost your fucking marbles this time, haven’t you.

There was a bulletin kiosk a few feet down your field of vision. On that bulletin kiosk was an old poster, barely visible as it was buried under layers of other flyers. It caught your eye and seemed to burn your retinas. What little you could see was the word Freddy and part of what looked like a version of the bear you’d been toting around this whole little expedition, but that was enough.

Something clicked. You looked down at the bear hanging by your side in your other hand. The kid had shoved it into your arms so he could more easily lean on the display case, right before he disappeared the very moment you took your eyes off of him.

You know, you hadn’t really felt alone since bringing Fredbear home. And not in a good way.

Guess the name you should’ve been calling was Freddy.

You had to get rid of that bear.

***

You had been walking home like you always did, same route. But you noticed something peculiar about this time. The house that the old man had his yard sale in was now stripped of all decoration, with a For Sale sign proudly standing in the grass. No cars, and no blinds or curtains on the windows, so you could see into the den which was now devoid of any furniture.

You’ll admit it, you crept around to the other windows, searching for any signs of life at all in the empty rooms. None. No furniture, no people, no trash. The yard sale was yesterday. How did they clean this place out so thoroughly in the short amount of time between when you’d seen it last and now.

A little confuddled, you went home as usual. While strange as hell, this wasn’t a missing person’s case or anything. And it’s probably why the man was so adamant on giving you Fredbear because it was the end of the day. He had a deadline. He was skipping town.

God, you wished you could just skip town.

You frankly thought nothing of it when you unlocked the door to your apartment to see Fredbear was already seated on the couch, like he was all set to marathon whatever 30-year-old cartoon you wound up watching that night. And it’s not like your roommate hadn’t done something like this before, move a stuffed animal or action figure into a funny position for you to find later.

You hadn’t seen him much lately. Or like, at all. The only reason you knew he was still alive were the dirty dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom, and the aforementioned moving the bear around.

Looking back now, was he moving the bear around?

If you locked the deadbolt that can’t be unlocked from the outside, you’d be guaranteed to catch him in person for once. But you weren’t willing to go through the trouble and emotional toil of doing that, however.

In the name of feeling less like a ghost haunting your own home, getting yelled at for intentionally locking your roommate out might be a wee bit counterproductive. Sure, you’d be seen and spoken to, but the harshness of his words and tone would send you into a worse episode than you were already in.

Well, at least Fredbear seemed ready to keep you company tonight...

The fact that they put unskippable advertisements on streaming services you’re paying for in the first place is criminal. Or at least regular cable tv in a trenchcoat.

You got a drink while they prattled on about luxury cars you couldn’t afford and real estate companies you weren’t going to have the privilege of patroning any time soon. Embarrassingly, as you poured the pitcher of water into a glass, you got a little distracted.

The cheap glass’s glass was only about a millimeter or two thick. You could easily just crush this cup in your hand, in one swift movement. The muscles of your arm began tensing up at the thought.

But thankfully, a loud, blaring advertisement coming from the TV snapped you out of it. And so, you promptly decided to Not Do That, because picking all of those tiny glass shards out of your flesh would be a bitch. And that was not how you wanted to spend a perfectly good Sunday night. And of course you didn’t need the questions at work tomorrow.

You returned to the couch, curiously, and you swear, that damn teddy bear followed you with its eyes. Even though they were a shiny, solid black, and the idea itself would be insane.

As you settled back down, you grabbed the remote to turn down the volume of the cheery music playing. Mysteriously, it wasn’t just a commercial with bad sound mixing, the TV itself had been turned up. Now that it had your attention, the thing that was being sold to you seemed to the state of Utah. You know, those Visit [X] ads that were commonly played between cooking shows and ghost hunting documentaries.

“Oh hey, you’re from there, right?” you poked at fredbear. And immediately felt pathetic. God, you’ve got to stop talking to inanimate objects and like get a boyfriend or something. Geez.

The imagery on the screen was just, you know, normal southwest stock footage:

A drone shot of Zion national park

Old men golfing

Owls living in holes they’ve dug into cactuses

Rock archways

A family laughing as they shared a pizza being served to them by a man in a bear suit that looked just fredbear,

“Oh, well there you are, I guess.” you once again absent-mindedly spoke to your toy friend.

Kids swimming in a fancy resort pool

A Navajo cultural event

More rock archways and red sandstone cliffs

Kids crowding around a claw machine filled with toys just like the one sitting next to you

Kids crowding around a stage as an animatronic band played

Kids crowding around a birthday cake, the light of candles bouncing off their faces as they sang along…

The fake sounding voice of the announcer rung out, “Visit Utah! You know the party can’t start without you!”

Your mouth felt dry. Good thing you now had that glass of water.

***

Of course, you did what any smart, sane person would do and feverishly ripped through the layers of old flyers to get to the advertisement for what you now knew was Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place. A themed diner and nickel arcade that made most of their money hosting birthday parties, by the looks of it. You knew the type; you had been an American child once too.

Good thing none of the cops were hanging around outside to fine you for littering, because the amount of paper you just released into the breeze was in fact criminal.

There was a short list of locations at the bottom of the poster. They had a few scattered over Utah, or at least they used to, judging by the harsh weathering of this poster. The closest one being in Bigwater, explaining why this poster was out here in Tuba. But the word Hurricane stood out to you like it was lit up in neon. It burned like sunlight.

It appears you are in fact on your way to Hurricane, Utah. As if you didn’t know that already at this point, you being out on the canyon rim instead of your much preferred and beloved Rockies. Well, congratulations bitch. You’ve only got another three hours to go. Better get going. Have fun!

***

Oh, this place was creepy as hell. Or it’s just late at night, and you’re sleep deprived and paranoid. In the spirit of being honest to yourself, ‘sleep deprived and paranoid’ has always been your natural state of being, but right now it’s definitely ramped up to an eleven.

But even though it’s been close to 48 hours since your last brain-reset, this place still had a certain energy about it. Like New Orleans, or the woods around lynching bridges did. That spooky oh I am Not Safe here type of energy.

The gas station-man gave you a real weird look when you stormed in and asked where the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was. Normally you would’ve chalked it up to you being a clear foreigner asking for directions as if it’s 1995, to a children’s arcade close to midnight nonetheless, but now you weren’t so sure.

You eyed the fridge full of wine in pint sized bottles and little juice cartons. But nah, you probably needed to have a quick reaction time to whatever was waiting for you in this Venus flytrap you’re willingly walking into. You grabbed a Monster instead and you know what, yeah, that probably wasn’t the best decision either. If you weren’t high strung before, you definitely were now. You felt like you could punch a bear. A Freddy Fazbear.

You bought a local map alongside the energy drink, feeling like you were gonna need it. Man, low-tech was actually kinda annoying after a while. You got the gas station-man to begrudgingly mark Fazbear’s down onto it for you. Apparently, it and all other locations within town had closed down some twenty years ago. Not many people are still around who remember why, he said, but it had something to do with the faulty animatronics. Teenagers told ghost stories and dared each other to spend the whole night in the dining room. But otherwise, beyond the rumors, the original Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was just an empty, scorched building. And the other various locations like Jr’s or Circus Baby’s had been sold off, passing so many hands who knows what businesses were in there now. But you could still kinda tell, if you paid attention, in the same way you can tell if something used to be a Pizza Hut.

What you really wanted, according to gas station-man, whose nametag read Gary, was this new location that was opening soon, simply named Freddy’s Pizzeria. It’s set to open for business in September, so you’re lucky. He marked it one your map as well.

You don’t know why Gary was so nice to you. Maybe it was the harrowed look in your eyes. Maybe it was the twitchiness. Maybe Gary is just very bored of this tourist town and was looking to fall madly in love with a random troubled soul he met at midnight in a gas station and would wind up running away with to some far-off place. If that was the case, sorry Gary. You were too busy with the metaphorical torture labyrinth to care about romance at the moment.

You couldn’t decide if the haunted Fredbear would want to see an old location or the new one. You asked, but of course the fucker didn’t answer. Just sat there with his smug grin and glassy eyes that followed your hand movements. So, you quite literally tossed a coin. A new mint, the face side had Eleanor Roosevelt on it. And she marked the fact that you were going to try the new location first, and then try the original building next. Cool.

***

Your patience was kinda at its limit here, you’ll admit. You really should get some sleep soon. Or eat. Since you were hellbent on getting here and nothing else, the only thing on your stomach besides that wretched Tweety Bird popsicle is half a monster energy. Guess you’ll go by a fucking Denny’s after this. If you survive.

If you were going to die horrifically, you’d really rather the forces that be make it snappy. This was getting ridiculous.

You pulled into the parking lot. The building clearly wasn’t new but had been freshly painted. Nothing creepy so far. As you stared down the building, sizing it up, you noticed there was one car parked in the front, and a few of the windows were lit up.

Cool, so there was someone in there. Great. That makes, well whatever this is, much harder.

The door was locked.

You could hear music playing from inside. You banged on the door as loudly as you could manage, and it still took a couple of minutes before the music stopped. And then a very disgruntled man in coveralls was in the doorway, tiredly asking just what the fuck you wanted at this time of night.

He smiled to cover up his rudeness, but the smile stretched a little too wide, inhumanly wide, and a shiver ran down your spine.

You took him in, unashamedly raking your eyes over his form. He stood awkwardly, as if ready to bolt at any moment. What you could see of his build made him out to be weirdly skinny. That unnaturally wide smile gave way to some exposed teeth on the left side of his face. His eyes were shadowed by his bangs in the backlight of the door, but you swore they almost glowed themselves. His complexion was greyish and bordered on almost purple in this lighting.

Despite all this, he was still pretty handsome. Well, you did always think some of those creepypasta guys were boyfriend material. Maybe, you wouldn’t mind getting chopped up into little pieces if this guy was the one doing it. Okay, and maybe you’ve been sleeplessly chasing ghosts too long.

Startling you, he reached his hand to grab your shoulder, a little too fast.

“Hey mate, are you okay?” He asked nervously,

It snapped you out of your stupor, realizing you had yet to say a word to him, “Uh, yes, I just wanted to…”

How do you even fucking ask this. “Hey, can I bring a stuffed bear to your dining room so maybe it’s spirit will leave me alone? Maybe conduct a séance or something?” Seriously, did you even know what you were doing here? Shit. Okay.

“I wanted to ask if I could check out your facility?” came out like a question because even you had no clue what you were saying.

“Come back tomorrow in the daylight, then,” he began closing the door, shaking his head in annoyance, “or perhaps when we’re actually open.”

“NO!” you slammed your foot into the door as he closed it, “AAGH!”

“Jesus Christ! WHY.”

Dear lord, this man now 100% thinks you’re a crackhead.

“Just, don’t close that door, okay,” his brows scrunched together as you grit your teeth to swallow down the pain, “I need you to help me.”

“I really don’t have any money to spar--”

“I’M HERE BECAUSE OF A GHOST,” you interrupted. Finally, you managed to get that out somehow, if nonsensical.

A look of recognition flickered in his glowing eyes. He lowered into your space, kind of intimidatingly. Or intimately. Yeah, no, this was hostile, don’t fool yourself.

“What kind of ghost,” he asked suspiciously.

“Uh,” shit, okay, “the weird, haunted doll kind? Uh, like the ones the McElroy brothers are always bidding on on eBay. Or maybe this is kind of a Ben Drowned kinda situation, I’m not completely sure.”

He blinked, “okay, I only understood a few of those words, but—”

“It’s a Freddy teddy bear that really wanted me to take it to Hurricane, okay?” You really were at the end of your rope at the moment, “I have literally driven here for days straight on no sleep and barely any food and I need this Unauthorized Fucking Thing to find it’s eternal peace or kill me in some horrible way so I can hurry up and get on with my goddamn life,”

“Uh, see… the thing is,” he started to retreat back again, slowly moving his hands like he was trying to calm down a spooked animal.

 You realized what was about to happen, and it must have been visible in your eyes, since his huge unnatural placating smile returned,

“I actually don’t want anything to do with that, sooo…”

“PLEASE—” you reached out in blind panic, but he dodged it. (now if only you could’ve dodged the scooper like that Mikey)

The door slammed in your face.

Your breathing was ragged and fogged up the glass as he locked it again. You stared up at those glowing pinprick pupils of his as he gave you an apologetic little wave goodbye. And then he fucking made a big show of pointing at the closed sign before turning tail to disappear back into the darkness of the empty restaurant.

Okay.

Just a little setback. You’ll go to the older location first, now, and come back when this asshole is sleeping. Can’t be too hard to bust out one of those windows, and you doubt he has an alarm set up already. It’s his fault, really. If he didn’t want property damage, then he should’ve just let you in. Not like you haven’t warned him that you were desperate or anything.

Just gonna go to the other location. You’ve got your map, you’ve got a tank full of gas, and you’ve got chutzpah.

Now what you don’t have? Is a car that will start.

[dansevilpianotea]

what are some phancoded songs?

hiiii omg thanks for the ask!! i absolutely love talking about songs i associate with my interests!! (autism has been activated to the highest degree so this will be a long post, you have been warned)

here are some of what i think are classic dnp coded songs:

Guys by The 1975 (i see this as more about the phandom than about dnp tbh but its very very dnp coded no matter how you interpret it) That's So Us by Allie X Still into You by Paramore The Only Exception by Paramore

i have a whole ass 100 song long playlist about dnp but let me give you my favourites that aren't the usual classics:

Eighteen by Pale Waves

This city depresses me But you try to be everything I need We sat on the corner kissing each other Felt like I could finally see in colour I was 18 when I met you Poured my heart out, spilt all my truth I finally felt like I could feel for the first time When I met you

i mean????? thats 2009 dan and phil????? dip and pip??? hello!!??

also fun fact!!: this band is from manchester and this song was written by their non-binary drummer and lesbian lead singer (who lowkey gives lesbian version of dan). you should rlly listen to pale waves. idek if theyve heard of dnp but theyre true phannies to me.

Starlight by Muse

this song, man. never heard of muse until i got into dnp and then i this song was the first one is listened to.

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms

i feel like it says sth about the expectations of being in a relationship while also presenting yourself on a massive public platform. wanting to be authentic and produce content^tm vs. being closeted and wanting to protect your relationship. 'I will be chasing a starlight, Until the end of my life, I don't know if it's worth it anymore'. Is worth it to constantly push the content out while feeling like a fraud for being inauthentic about your identity? 'And our hopes and expectations, Black holes and revelations'. the future may seem very dark and hopeless sometimes, it may not turn out how we expect or hope, but only once we face instead of fight it (embrace the void etc) we will forgive our past selves and see that the future really is bright. so yes, very dnp coded.

Anniversary by Autoheart

Years of nothing have subsided We have fixed each other up Giving you up? What are you on about? I'll never give up believing in us Giving you up? Now why would I do a thing like that? No I’m not giving you up, no way I will never stop when it comes to you

this song is not only dnp coded (kind of an october 19th theme song) but also has gained a new meaning since the return of dnp games <3. they didnt give up on us. they came back. and we really helped each other get here <3. think about it like that when listening and i guarantee you will be sobbing. the song also has some marriage themes bc theres wedding vows during the bridge so i will just let you live with that <33

Where the Lines Overlap by Paramore

Tracing patterns across a personal map And making pictures where the lines overlap No one is as lucky as us We're not at the end but oh, we already won Call me over And tell me how Well, you got so far Never making a single sound I'm not used to it But I can learn

we werent ready for their comeback / we're still learning to get used to it / just look at them / boiling frog theory / hard phaunch / do i need to say more

Yellow by Coldplay

this song became part of my playlist when phil didnt know a single coldplay song. unfortunately i cant take it serious anymore after dan was turned into a golden pig, then was literally glowing golden during a book event all while #pissyourself4dan was trending and every phannie on twt made their pfps yellow. i will curse your mind to with the lyrics and mental imagery: (im sorry but im also not bc this is how my autism thinks humour works)

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow ✨✨ Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful ✨✨✨ And you know, you know I love you so 💛

✨✨✨

(im sorry again)

Safe & Sound by Tonight Alive

Dan in BIG: "for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe."

Nothing compares to what we share I don't have a care in the world Cause even if it all came crashing down, As long as you're around, I'll be safe and sound. 🧡

ending it with a nice one because its beautiful and sappy and its so them afterall. they really won rpf.

thank you for this ask, i enjoyed answering it!! (im sorry for taking so long. im on day 11 of a cold so ive not had much energy.)

[eddiegettingshot]

WELL since you wanted more thoughts on the truck sex. obviously as we said they only started having it due to being too loud to fuck in eddie’s house. but the thing is this does Not change now that they’re in the truck. and i think they frog in boiling water themselves into feeling safe in the truck and thinking each time that they’re not Reallyyyyy exposed. obviously the truck is hiding them. so they start fucking in increasingly more public places. and this plays so perfectly into buck’s canon exhibitionist tendencies and also eddie’s deeply held desire to Show Buck Off and Possess Him. and now i open the floor to you if you would like to play in the space

YAY. YES!!!! and like the exhibitionism i think is something that did NOT come pre-installed on eddie like i do think he’s kind of in his head about it at first. but boiled frogs like you said applies to that too. so by the time they consciously are like oh shit we are playing exhibitionist games right now. they have already incorporated the threat of getting caught into their sex paradigm. and it’s like a really big thing for them. and then ALSO a part of the truck sex is once again buck bratting loudly. it’s all about eddie pretending like nooo buck we can’t just fuck. nooo. don’t try and convince me it’s not HAPPENING. but of course it happens. probably in the exact way buck dictates it will happen. they have this down to a science.

[candi-gram]

Finality and inevitability. AKA The high cost of tiny sacrifices... Or, "motivation."

When people with extreme kinks and life situations talk openly and freely about their situation to people with more "normalized" lives often many of the initial questions and challenges focus on their inability to understand how things could possibly have gotten to the level they're at for you.

Even if they don't say it specifically out loud you can tell they're trying to figure out and ask how you ended up here. They're rightfully shocked and horrified to find out that you not only don't have a safe word, but that it would be quickly ignored even if you did. They will astonishingly and foolishly say things like, why don't you just walk away? How can you live with yourself? Or even, I would never let somebody do that to me. They'll try to explain to you that it's trauma and abuse and not kink. As if you're such a dumb cunt you haven't figured that out for yourself a long time ago 🤷‍♂️ as if you're not the one who ultimately ended up doing this to yourself. As if you didn't allow and deserve it to happen. As if it's not mostly your fault that this is the life you're living. As if you're not the one who broke, conditioned, and ruined yourself. Sure, this is what they always wanted you to become... An object instead of a person. But you're the one who Little by Little traded away all your pride and dignity and autonomy in exchange for their attention and approval. The reason they can't understand is because their self worth and respect, their personal identity, their morals, wants and needs, their personality and belief structure is more important to them than someone else's amusement, entertainment, pleasure, and happiness. But, you've made a different decision and determination when balancing those scales. You weighed the same values, but when you did, the scales tipped heavier in a different direction.

And to a lot of people that rightfully sounds ridiculous and stupid. Why would you possibly give yourself up and lose yourself entirely and totally in somebody else? But what they don't understand is when you were making those decisions and weighing the options, the calibration was never comparing where you started with versus where you ended up. Of course nobody in their right mind would ever choose that path. Nobody would ever point to the embarrassing thing you've become and say that's what they want for themselves and that's their ultimate goal. That's simply not how it works though. You don't make one massive choice. You don't get to see the finish line until it's ultimately, eventually way too late and you are many miles already passed it too far to ever turn around and go back to the start again.

It's not where you are today vs where you started you need to pay attention to. No, silly boys and girls. It happens incrementally, glacially slow. It's like the story of The frog in the pot of hot water. If you put the frog in when the water is already scalding hot, it will immediately jump out to rescue and save itself. But, if you put the frog in the pot when the water is cool and just gradually, slowly turn up the heat little by little, the frog gets ever more comfortable to the new temperature. It adapts to that new temperature as it's baseline. And eventually by the time the frog realizes that the water is suddenly boiling hot, it's already too late and the game is over for the frog.

You see, The way it happens is they don't break you, condition you or train you suddenly. They do it by slowly turning up the heat under your personal pot of water. The question that they should be asking you isn't how you ended up where you are today vs where you started out on day one. The right question to be asking is, "How did you end up where you are today versus where you were yesterday?" How did you end up where you were yesterday compared to where you were the day before that? And then that day compared to the day before that? And so on....

Every tiny sacrifice, every indignity you accepted, every shameful and humiliating act, behavior, or modification you allowed or performed, every teeny bit of yourself and your dignity you give up may not seem like much in the moment. Sure, what they're asking or demanding you do today may not seem that much worse or more shameful, or more degrading, than what they demanded of you yesterday. And who knows, in the moment it may even actually seem hot, sexy, or fun. When you're weighing the scales in that specific moment choosing what to do, whether to protect yourself and who and what you are intrinsically, or to give just a little bit more of yourself away, it may seem like just a tiny drop in the bucket. You may think that there's plenty more in the bank where that came from. It may feel like a tiny compromise, a small sacrifice, just a teeny loss. So small that in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn't make a big difference or matter.

But you know what the problem with ignoring tiny drops are? Over time even the smallest trickling creek can carve out huge caverns and create towering canyons into the hardest stone. When you keep giving yourself away 1 so at a time eventually The bucket runs dry and there's no more drops of you to give away. There's no more of you left at all. By the time you've realized what's happened, you've already allowed that tiny, constant drip of water to mold you into something completely different. It's not so simple to just go back and pick up the broken pieces and and pebbles as if they're lying in ruin waiting to be reassembled into the once great stone they came from. All that rough, protecting armor and hard exterior isn't lying in rubble and ruin, it's been eroded away to nothing. You can't rebuild what was there previously when there's nothing left and no substance remaining to rebuild with.

That is how it happens. That is how somebody who once was smart, strong, proud, fiercely independent and headstrong one day wakes up, looks in the mirror, and can no longer recognize the weak, helpless, vulnerable, submissive, obedient victimy thing staring back at them. By the time you wake up and realize that you've allowed them to turn you into something unrecognizable, you're already too far past the point of no return for it to matter anymore.

You will always be the filthy, disgusting, cheap whore that did those degrading, shameful, dehumanizing and objectifying, unthinkable and unspeakable things that he wanted and demanded from you. You can never undo those. Chances are, you have already destroyed your relationships with your friends, family, and work. Your career is probably already in shambles and unrecoverable. Your life is broken and ruined beyond repair. You're left with no place to go and no one to go to.

What does it matter anymore What else they make you do? What does it matter anymore How much more of a porn parody of a person do they turn you into? What does it matter what the next, even more terrible and awful thing They want you to do is? After all the things you've already done, isn't it really just only another tiny drop in the bucket?

And the best and most terrible part of it all, is that the entire time, you've done it to yourself. Usually with eyes wide open and knowing what was happening to you. Knowing what it cost to make those tiny sacrifices again and again.

And sure, In what's left of your mind you may hate the broken and ruined life and thing that you're left with today, But I guarantee you that you're soaking wet and needy, manipulative and traitorous cunt that's been making these decisions for you and keeping you on this path is loving your new life.

[0l-unreliable]

Feel free to be as long-winded or short as you want with this; but can you explain Homestuck to me? I've tried many times to get into it, but it confuses me and I just want it in layman's terms please 🙏

So in the most boiled down, simplified, BASIC terms: Homestuck is a coming of age, saving the world story that gets interrupted by the narrative, the creator (Hussie self inserts so much he's basically a main side character that the characters can and do reference), timeline bullshit, and the introduction and subsequent abandonment of new plots/characters. Though it's technically a comic, the text alone could fill probably 3-5 novels. I'd also like to say I ONLY read the original comic and I only read it 2 1/2 times in the past 10 years

Ok that stuff out of the way here's as fatless as I can serve: John and co. (Dave, rose and jade) Decide to play a game called 'sburb', unknowingly triggering both the beginning of their adventure and the end of their world, while they navigate getting into the game (like, physically, since their planet is being pelted by meteors) we're introduced to some weird fuckin grey dudes (the trolls, unplanned and frankly maybe unwanted at the point by me at least) we find out they went through this same 'game-that-ends-the-world' scenario but with 12 different kids instead of four, which made the whole thing more complicated and dramatic (and here we're also introduced to the blood caste system aka the fantasy racism system, there are 11-12 different blood colors with candy red being the rarest and the lowest/worst). They make it into the game and are left to wait while they figure shit out and this is when they start communicating with John and co, since they're technically not in the same timeline as the humans they can jump around and pick any point to talk to them (ex: a troll can click a button and talk to a version of John already in the game then five seconds later click another button and talk to a John that has never even heard of the game). Unfortunately this is when the timeline/doomed reality shenanigans start. I will not be untangling all that, sorry. They figure out that they (the trolls +John and co) have to make a NEW universe out of a special frog and make plans to all meet. Dave and Rose have already managed to get to the same place the trolls are (a random meteor) but John and Jade still must travel to get to them, which will take 3-4 years (this was probably because at this point everyone has been 13 for the past 3 real human years and hussie wanted a time skip). I cannot stress the weight of the next statement enough: some bullshit happens. You meet 12 NEW trolls that are basically the ancestors to the trolls we know and love/hate. To me they don't super have a point, but this is also where we learn that every person who died and every version from a 'doomed timeline' who died is in fact alive as ghost in bubbles of space-time and can interact both with other dead versions of themselves and the alive versions of themselves when they pass through. Like I said. Some bullshit happens. Then..oh and then...we get shot both into the future, the past, and an alternative timeline. This time, it's with the ancestors/guardians of John and co. This is were Dirk and Jake are. (And Roxy and Jane ofc) At this point I believe hussie has majorly checked out. This new group of humans (the 'Alphas', named after their timeline) don't get much in terms of story compared to the others, but what we do see it that while Jake and Jane live in the good ol' current time of 2016, Dirk and Roxy live far far FAR into the future. A future where a tyrannical troll has conquered Earth and flooded it in an attempt to expand her watery empire. They are the last two people alive, made from the genetic remains of their timelines Dave and Rose. Their only hope of survival is the game, luckily they get in, unluckily Hussie has Checked Out. They are in a dead game and must wait to either be attacked by the big bad (of which there are at least three I'm sorry but mentioning their whole deal is....daunting. remember this is all still simple) and/or be pulled to the OG group of trolls and humans. Eventually everyone gathers up, Hussie retcons some shit through John, they fight all bazillion big bads at once and BAM. make a new universe in which all TWENTY of them are gods. The end.

This is as simple as I can make it based on how I understood it/what I remember. It's not called the worlds longest webcomic for nothing. If you made it this far and still think you may want to try again to read but don't want to spend a large chunk of your life reading a textual nightmare, there are videos on YouTube that read it for you that have gotten pretty far, I have left A LOT out.

HS is a super confusing, badly written, reference heavy peice of work. I think ultimately it's about how YOU interpret things and where you stop reading. It seems random, and it is, but Hussie manages to round most things out, there's a lot of characters that explain a lot of things very often. Sometimes you don't know What The Hell is Happening until 5 acts and 3 intermissions later. That's fine.

Thanks for letting me yap. Feel free to ask about more anytime either in dms or through asks.

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Imagine one day you leave your diary out and your yandere admire notices it. They can't resist reading it every day when you are gone.

Lately you can't help but notice how you are getting closer to [character of authors choice!]. You just seem to have so much in common. Maybe too much...

Will our yandere admirer be able to use the diary to trap reader in a relationship or will it be discovered?

Good luck on your writing. I'm enjoying your stuff!

Ahhhhhhhhhh tysm!!

I'm doing this with Jack bc I've barely done aaanything with Savannaclaw yet.

Warning(s): yandere Jack, stalking

One day, Jack realized you'd left a book on the table.

What kind of book is it? What is it about? What's the genre?

Jack opened the book, and saw the pages were all hand-written... and they seemed to mirror real life- oh, this is your diary isn't it?

...it might not be the right thing to do, but... it wouldn't hurt if he used this to get a bit closer to you, right?

No. No, it wouldn't...

You've noticed something recently. You and Jack actually have a lot of things in common!

He likes the shows you like, he likes the games you like (which is interesting since you didn't peg Jack as the kind of guy who likes video games), he likes the music you like, he likes the genres of movies and books you like... you're so much more compatible than you'd thought before!

It's so interesting.

Jack was a good friend before, but you never thought that you two could ever be a thing... and now, it's like you two were made for each other.

It's almost suspicious.

It's like myth of boiling a frog.

The myth goes that if you put the frog in the boiling water right away, it'll freak out and jump out of the pot. However, if you put the frog in the water before it starts boiling, and let it boil slowly while the frog is in it, it won't notice until it's too late.

Jack was using your diary to his advantage.

And if he's lucky, much like a boiling frog, you won't realize until it's too late.

One day though, you found your diary was missing.

With all the shady people who attend Night Raven College, you were very worried that someone might've stolen it.

As Jack was such a good friend, you believed you could confide in him. So, you made your way to Savannaclaw, and to Jack's room.

You told him about how your diary was missing, and how you were worried it'd end up in the wrong hands. The person you were most worried about finding it was a certain eight-legged businessman...

But then, you saw something on Jack's bedside table.

"Jack, is that... my diary...?"

"...no." Jack responded, quite obviously lying.

"Jack, w-why do you have my diary?"

"Ok. Listen, (Y/N), I know this seems bad, but-"

"Jack, tell me why you have my diary!"

"I-it's not what you think! I just... found it, and I was trying to, y'know, keep it safe for you!"

"Oh. You... you were...?" You asked, slightly suspicious.

"Yes, of course!" Jack responded. "Why would I lie to you?"

...he has a point.

Jack isn't the type of person who would lie to you, so he's probably telling the truth.

"Well, thanks for keeping it safe, Jack." You said, grabbing your diary. "See you later."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief the moment you left his room.

He'll have to make sure to be more careful next time.

On the plus side: you believed him!

You believed him, which means you love him enough to excuse his clearly suspicious behaviour.

And that means... it's working.

Thank goodness!

Soon enough, the two of you will have a wonderful relationship you can't esape from, even if you try.

[kittzuxp]

Intro post!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

About me

Hi hello, you can call me kittzu/kittz/dream/drem or dremzyzz. I use They/she/it/he or autoí/auth/autó/autós prounouns!! Also i am greek🇬🇷🇬🇷

I am a minor‼️‼️ DONT BE WEIRD.

My fav colors are black, red and lavender :3

My fav animals are cats, frogs and bats :33

Yk what. I. Am. Done with gender. Genderfluid, lesbian and aspec (probably aceflux, aegosexual and demiromantic) . If u don’t like it FUCK OFF WHAT R U DOING HERE

I can be pretty shy sometimes but always open to making new friends!! (・・;)

Dnis/ do not interacts: z00s,p3d0s, homophobes, transphobes, n3cr0s, TERFS, MAPS, racists, xenophobes, anti-therians, anti-furries, radqueers, proshippers, 'superstarights' etc and any hate groups in general.

Also @/guess-who-69 sorry

🇵🇸🍉 FREE PALESTINE

4 more info click here

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fandoms & interests

I like reading (warriors) and drawing, but also browsing the tube. Oh and comics can't forget about those (currently reading homestuck)

I am in a loooot of fandoms but not really active in them cuz… most of them are dead..

BUT!! I have a couple of things that are currently rotting my brain (fandoms I'm hyperfixating on + active fandoms)

Brain rot real

Stardew Valley [foams at the mouth my brain is rotting]

Twomp/ the world of mr plant

Regretevator

Mob psycho 100

Sofita / johnypeace, thanakios [IF YK THIS ONE FOLLOW ME IMMEDIATELY AND DM ME SOMI CAN FOLLOW U TOOO]

Homestuck [NEW!]

Active

Ghost eyes

Sally face

The song of achilles

Ouk an lavois para tou mi ehontos (if you know this one lets get married/j)

Lacey games

Clan gen (warriors fan game by @/officialclangen)

Tgcf

Diary of a wimpy kid [doawk fanfics: Dysfunctional perspective, Rodrick's secret on the loader diper subreddit]

Unfamiliar (comic by lavendertowne pls go read it)

OMORI

Deathnote

Webtoons(/tapas) [Jackson's diary, Castle swimmer, Your wings and mine <- go read these they're awesome]

KinitoPET

Ramshackle [The webtoon & yt series]

Inactive

Warriors

Ninjago

God troubles me!

An extremely goofy movie

The Boiled One Phenomenon (PHEN-228 is my pookie ❤❤)

Salad fingers

Minecraft (the game)

Helluva boss

South park

Deltarune & undertale

The amazing digital circus‼️

Fionna and cake

Stranger things ☹️☹️ (I'm trying to not to associate the actors with the characters as to not ruin the show 4 me. I will be boycotting s5 tho)

Sonic prime

Heartstopper

Batim

Toh

Sr pelo’s content in general [spooky month and the mokey series]

Saiki k

Good omens

YuB (a youtuber, please go sub to him he’a so silly)

Love, Sam (indie horror game)

Former yandere simulator fan. After the shit with yandev happen i don’t support any of his content anymore.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Socials & tags

My discord is: forknifeistrash#1419

My wattpad: apersonyoudontknow7

My Ao3: Kittzuxp_the_pidgeon

My Artfight >ω<

Sideblogs: @lovrclan-gen @ask-lovechild-au-twomp

I don’t use it very often, but i’m also on the twompcord and clan gen server. I’m not active on the servers tho..

Tags i’ll use:

Kittzu's headcannons = pretty self explaintory, headcanon I made

Kittzu's Mr plant plushie = he's here!!!!

kittzu's argos plushie = i am legally forced to put this tag under the mr plant one.

kittzuxp = reblogs and posts (fast reblogs do not count)

Kittzu’s enderman plush (i have an enderman plush, if you want any related content, i’m sorry for advertising i just love ‘em so much)

Kittzu's creeper plush (i also have a creeper plush!!!)

Kittzu doodles = any of my art

Kittzu answers asks = do I need to explain?

storytime with kittzu = me sharing my memories and expiriences with the world. I want to leave a mark that i was here and that my existance is not forgotten. Philosophical much?

kittzu's ocs = working on a masterpost abt my ocs but there's this tag too

And then just general tags of any fandom i want the post to be abt

(I might tag your username if i don’t mention you in a post, so beware)

[🔼by @/oxceen]

[nyanpasuuna]

inspired by some tags i just wrote on a poll reblog:

anyone else feel conflicted about the direction tech, software, and the internet are heading?

like, appreciating recent conveniences but not wanting the "old" ways to die in favor of them?

i use the tumblr mobile app for 99.5% of things on this site (only opening browser tumblr if i need to see more in-depth stats or attach a file from a proper computer), my blog doesn't have a custom theme, i use algorithmic dash, i prefer the mobile app for especially the quickness and snappiness of reblogging and downloading full-res images compared to browser, and i just in general prefer to do my mindless scrolling on a mobile device, leaving the proper computer setup for productivity/gaming/watching stuff/listening to stuff/etc

but at the same time i will wholeheartedly defend blog customization and the algorithm-less experience as core aspects of what makes this place what it is, even if i don't participate in them myself at least as of now, and i strongly disagree with everything nowadays being forced into a secluded app when it could've just been a website

do you feel this is hypocritical, an attempt to have a cake and eat it too? do you feel this is "i disagree with what you're saying but i'll fight for your right to say it"-core?

or, the analogy i used for this elsewhere last night: like being a (yes i know this metaphor has been disproven but) frog in slowly boiling water, noticing the warmness and enjoying aspects of it, but still having a way out if you just jump out

where in this analogy the slowly boiling water is the direction of the internet, the warmness is the conveniences like not needing to menudive and know what a folder is to download an image, and the jumping-out is just you switching habits from the "new" to the "old"

what i'm scared of here is three possible outcomes:

the water is allowed to reach the boiling point and you are, quite literally, cooked (this is the timeline where user freedom and common knowledge of tech skills take a huge hit in favor of corporate profit)

the frog jumps out of the boiling water and into a container of liquid nitrogen, i.e. the enshittification is stopped but the pendulum swings so far back that we lose what to many is core functionality for purely ideological reasons (i call this the cohost timeline)

a lid is put on the boiling pot prematurely, taking away the frog's ability to leave before outcome 1 is achieved, causing it to sense something is up, leading to the frog protesting against the situation it's been placed in, with unpredictable results (the reddit API changes timeline, a very possible near-future event for tumblr as well)

and that's before you get into the whole thing about how things look

i'm probably one of the least bothered people i know when it comes to the look of modern redesigns, i think a lot of them look quite cool actually, but that is HEAVILY contrasted by my preference for the displaying of accurate statistics and precise information, needing search functions to do EXACTLY what i tell them to, etc.

because 9 times out of 10 those redesigns always take a little slice of user agency and precision with them, and that's not what i want at all

so i'm basically left here with the only people who Get Me on this topic being those people who theme the shit out of their linux installs for aesthetics, because they get how this stuff is supposed to be: personalized. customizable. tailor-made by you for you.

people should be allowed to choose their level on this stuff freely

someone wants to build their own gaming PC from individual parts while another just wants to plug in a console that works out of the box

someone wants to get a specific type of car and mod it a specific way for a specific motorsport while another is content just getting from point A to point B with public transport

so please, defend this diversity of options and experiences on the software side as well, everything should NOT be an app

[felix-lupin]

the thing one must understand about all heartmind positive interactions in cacophony is it’s a game of pretending, of plausible deniability. they are walking a very careful tightrope. mind cannot admit how much he wants it. heart knows exactly how much he wants it but he [believes || knows] if he ever admit any of it everything would fall apart. i think it’s all very careful and very deliberate. if heart is not denying his own wants or the fact this is all going to crumble, he’s letting mind deny his, because if he doesn’t play it just right, mind will immediately leave. mind’s constantly playing contradiction. i don’t actually want this!!! it’s just chance that lead me to sit here, and it’s just that another argument would be counterproductive, that i’m letting heart lean on me. the most important difference between them is heart wanting mind lines up exactly with his nature. he is the love as well as the hate. so he accepts it easy, because it MAKES SENSE. however, with mind, it directly contradicts everything he’s supposed to be, and to resolve the contradiction he must either deny one or the other. and being the mind is literally his name. so he pushes it as far down as he possibly can. and if it comes back he MUST justify it. it’s not that i like the contact, i just don’t want heart to get pushier. i think he knows. i think it’s obvious. it lines up with everything heart is, after all. but it has to be just another thing the heart should not want but does. reciprocating is out of the question. but he doesn’t actually want to turn heart down, even if that would be the most logical option. he says it’s because heart’s so trigger happy it’d be dangerous. that is a lie. he just likes this too much. and heart is willing to play this game with him because he knows mind will never accept, whether it be repression or straight up lack of desire. so he says nothing. but he still wants. so he leans in a bit closer.

augh,, yeah !!!

they are playing a careful game of pretend with each other. Neither of them break this game of pretend however much they might want to.

Mind has to contradict his emotions and logic them all out, pretend to himself that it's just happenstance that these things also let him get closer to Heart. It's just a coincidence, an aside, he's only doing it because it's the easiest/most logical thing to do, because its the only thing that will avoid a fight, or whatever. He ignores his own wants, and that rationalization is part of why they can't go too far with it; because then it wouldn't just be convenience, or happenstance. It would be deliberate and intentional. And they can't do that. That is a step off a cliff and a very long drop and they don't know if they'll be met with pillows or spikes at the bottom

Mind knows that he likes this too much, so he can't indulge because if he does, that opens the door to other indulgences. That opens the door for all of the other temptations and desires and breakdowns to flood in, so he has to hold that door shut tight and not let anything get past it. But even though he holds that dam shut and refuses to let even the tiniest bit of water seep out... he still wants this, so he rationalizes and logics and pretends that he's not indulging

and heart plays along, because he knows the second he gets too close, that Mind will slam that door shut, and he'll be even more careful in the future not to let it open again. hes trying not to boil the frog too fast, or whatever the saying is. but, still, he cant help but lean in a little bit closer, indulge just a little bit more, and hope mind doesn't notice (or, more accurately, call it out), and hope that he doesn't ruin the path of pretend that they walk in doing so. it would be better not to lean in a little closer, probably, for risk of ruining the facade, but... Heart's never been very good at ignoring what he wants, playing along even this much probably already takes a lot.

[kirshimadenkisero]

things my friends have said, a collection (ft a couple quotes from shows/games) ((credits to my best friend for compiling them for me))

for privacy reasons i’ve censored the names

“Haha suck it (random name)!” (not entirely sure where this one came from so i’m guessing they’re talking about someone they know??)

“Smells like sour cream depression”

“I’m busy being gay”

“Birbs get bitches”

“Yes. I kill joe Biden”

“You simply have less value”

“You are a coffee bean”

“I will go full frog mode on your bitchass-“

“I don’t know how to eat abbles-“

(PS: he was eating a fukin pear 😀)

“WAIT- GERMAN SHEPHERDS ARE GERMAN?!”

(offers grapes) “Sure, as long as they aren’t grape flavored”

“I’m a bitch and I’m a stitch”

“My brother is immune to getting r a n o v e r b y c a r s . . .”

“He now look like a wet rat and smell like cucumber”

“Tao Su looks like British Justin Bieber”

“#LockedUpForLife”

“He put his heart and soul into that dance”

“DO I HEAR A FUCKING MICROWAVE???”

“merry birthing”

“You stole kids candy, prepare to meet Jesus”

“Material gworl💅✨🏳️‍🌈”

“I bet it was the Shrek DVD…”

“I now know what I’m gonna get you for Christmas… t h e r a p y”

“the lake is thirsty…”

“IS STEVEN JESUS?!?!”

“where did his child go???”

“You are a spineless pretzel-“

“ŠTÄÇŸ MØVË!!!”

“Hey is that plane outside my window getting bigger???”

“Kneecaps gone. Insurance? Gieco.”

“Hippty Hoppity, get off my property”

“Are you getting your clothes from the back of Spencer’s??”

“My second wish would be a Mary Poppins bag full of fresh garlic bread”

“THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE!!”

“Mice and vanilla deer fries”

“DONALD DUCK IS THAT YOU?!!?!”

“Was that a deer??”

“Steve what are you doing here?? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LUNCHBOX-“

“I’m here to sell your kidneys”

“I ŁÏVĘ ĪÑ THË WÆTĖR!”

“Excuse me. That’s my front lawn you’re talking to.”

“I DONT KNOW I CANT COUNT 🥲”

“Why don’t I have no fingers…. (friend), did you steal my fingers again???”

“That notification sound sounded delicious. Absolutely exquisite 🤌🏽”

“Is water wet???”

“Water is crazy, you can boil in it, you can drown in it, yet we need it to survive”

“That just sounded like my sisters spine at 3:00AM 💀”

“THERES POISONOUS SKUNKS. THEY’RE MULTIPLYING AAAAAAAA”

“It’s supposed to be hot cocoa but it’s looks

s u s s y-“

“2020 part 4”

“YUO MAMMA’D YOUR LAST MIA”

“Bestie, I love you but calm down about the raisins 😀”

“I'm not alive🧍🏻‍♀️”

“Bro got sent to the shadow realm-“

“Quickly, hide the stock before the landlord finds us!!”

“Make the taxidermy dance...”

“Philza, you haven’t been collecting my wood have you?”

“ITS PHILZA MINECRAFT!! HES IN MY MINECRAFT SERVER!!!”

“I DONT KNOW, GRAB A BROWNIE OR SOMETHING.”

“What the fuck is a Spinosaurus, a dinosaur with a spine???”

“Oh, it’s weed boy”

“Hippity hops, ima call the cops 😀”

“Be right back, gotta go walk my fish-“

“WHY IS THE DOOR WALKING??”

“I gotta go fold the dishes”

“You just haven’t mastered the spoon yet”

“He wouldn’t know, he’s a pencil 😄”

“Do you see the screen? Are you sure you aren’t deaf-“

“That wasn’t powder on that donut…”

“NAPOLEON III IS A PATHETIC IDIOT WHO GETS NO BITCHES”

“My sister just brought me a penguin, and it threw up crayons”

“He’s a closeted American”

“You ain’t scared of the ocean until you see a t-posing squid”

“Ah women”

“Did Youtube find out I was religious???”

“Where’s my 15% off you rip off midget dinosaur”

“It would be funny if he choked and died” (i would like to mention this was said by my friend’s teacher)

“Don’t come to the circus tomorrow Ragatha”

“No, you aren’t a loser, you’re just colorblind”

“BOMBBB-“

“Call me a triple A battery, cause I have Anxiety, ADHD, and Autism!!”

“Bro became a vacuum cleaner 😭”

“I HATE SPLASH MOUNTAINNN!1!1!!!1!!”

“Fuck it, we ball 🏀”

“IF I RUN FAST ENOUGH, THE VOICES CANT CATCH UP”

“RED ENVELOPE FROM GRANDMA!?!? THAT MEANS MONEY!!!”

“It’s called neighbors, we are allowed to have them”

“So what. He can eat spaghetti out of his eyes”

“she wishes a broken leg upon you”

“Me and my crayons can do this shit anymore”

“Swaggy animal cruelty”

“I will temporarily sue you and your family”

“Yeehaw that motherfucker”

“Oh wow, I just killed two people”

“Whitey Kitey is MAD”

“So imagine me trying to break human skin 🥰”

“John Doe is a he/him lesbian”

“He got them string cheese bangs”

“Alas, for this is an example of the pain I must go through with this curse of immortality. Though I may never have my final breath, the price is eternal suffering”

“Cause they’ll think you’re all German Nazis who are trying to do a poison delivery”

“His birthday is on April 1st. His birthday is a joke”

“I WILL BURN YOUR COOPERATION INTO THE GROUND IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO”

“IM GOING TO SKIN THE OWNER OF RITZ ALIVE”

“A woman, in her late thirties, wearing a school issued swimsuit. Worst of all, she was rocking it” - Rae Taylor

“Isn’t your life already crumbling apart”

“ITS A FORBIDDEN MIXTURE”

“IM ON THE PODIUMMMMM”

“WHAT IS THIS. I DONT SPEAK BAGUETTE”

“Peaceful yuri in the wild”

“Buddy, I’m in normal math. Compact math people are CRACKED-“

“I CAN SEE THE AUTISM IN HIS EYES”

“Bro looks both ways when he crosses the street unwillingly”

“I don’t care when you deliver them to me. Expiration dates don’t matter to me-“

“Friendship levels?? More like Yuri levels.”

“YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY CEO OF MAX”

“Okay I admit it. I’m guilty of slave ownership”

“She sounds like a starving Victorian child 😭”

“Now go adventurer, and have this. A gun.”

“I will paper cut your eyes in your sleep”

“THEN IM GOING FOR THAT BITCHASS WHORE AUTOCORRECT”

“HER PANTS WOULD BE ON FIRE RIGHT NOWW”

“I just want to have a friendly conversation with him, me, and my gun”

“IM GONNA TURN THE OWNER OF CHICK-FIL-A INTO ROASTED CHICKEN”

“DUDE HES GOING THROUGH A MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT TACOS”

“DAMNNIT BUBBLE I TOLD YOU THAT INVADING IRAQ WAS A BAD IDEA”

“If my dog doesn’t shut the fuck up after three strikes I will yell at her in less passive and more aggressive German.”

“Buenos días fuckboy”

“Wow, (friends name)-censorship”

“ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, BEING AN ORANGE EMO TRACK RUNNER IS MY PERSONALITY!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!”

“Oh my days, my Cheeto is turning into a cheese puff”

“I love my emo son”

“Listen, I’m not gay. That’s only on Thursdays”

“I just went up there for a bandaid and I got her toes?!!?!!”

“What did he do to deserve becoming a pretzel berry”

“I HATE YOU DREDNAW. YOU WILL BECOME AN ORPHAN ON THE STREETS”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he’s nice”

“No, it’s only a very late abortion”

“THIS IS WHY GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL”

“God damn it’s genetic 😨”

“It’s crustier than William Afton”

“Well, I’m gonna die anyway but red would be pretty cool”

“Not a gram of hetero blood in their veins”

“Oh the law? That’s not a thing”

“POLLINATE MY BROTHER IN HONEY”

“Do I look like I speak Beepanese?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not even legally allowed to have this-“

“He looks like if god sniffed a line of coke and then tried to recreate Squirtle from memory” (talking about chewtle)

[momo-t-daye]

@cerise-grenadine asked me for 1, 4, 11, 21, and 27 for the Snapedom AU Ask Game!

1.) Do you have a name and/or a tag and/or a master post for your AU (so I can peruse your blog and admire your creativity)?

I usually remember to tag my AU as: “Self-indulgent AU” here, on Ao3 I have the student years grouped as “Viridian by Volition” and Harry years mostly under “The Godmother”, my master post (more or less in story order and usually updated) is here (and pinned on my blog!)

4.) What your favorite thing about your AU? (Does it make you cackle with glee or do you break your own heart?)

I am very much a cackler rather than an angst-er and thinking about the change in relationship dynamics between my AU!Severus and various other characters— particularly Lily and Tobias and Harry and Sirius— is a good way to make myself cackle.  Especially when I can come up with absurd shenanigans that escalate into chaos and mayhem because Severus isn’t so painfully isolated/hated.

11.) Do you know if Severus going to escape the gravitational pull of the canon narrative/fate in your AU?

I love Snape!lives and one of the fun things for me in playing with AU thoughts is trying to figure out how various changes can cascade in ways that will lead to Severus surviving and getting to deal with the daunting task of living after the war and mission are over, so, yes, the gravitational pull of the canon narrative will be quite strong and some story beats are very clingy (…because it is what I like to build off of and reflect on), but I do expect the changes in interactions/relationships/events to provide sufficient escape velocity!

21.) Is there another canon character that plays a major role in your AU!Snape’s life?  What role do they play and how does it differ from their canon relationship with Snape?

Aside from his parents, Lily, the Marauders, the Malfoys, Voldemort, Dumbledore and Harry, hmm… none with quite as major role in AU!Sev’s life, but Tuney and Tonks both play larger roles in my silly little AU than in canon.  I am fascinated by the Cokeworth years and Tuney was there and she has so much story potential of her own!  Tonks, for her part, is recognized as one of the leading experts on Polyjuice Potion to her exasperation and it is all Severus’ fault (golly, I should get back to writing that…)

27.) Do you have a snippet of prose (or an art piece or a list of headcanons) from your AU that you particularly enjoy and want to share?

Heh heh heh, an excuse to share snippets from “Revising Their Stars” (the title is a bit of a pun, I really like puns and terrible wordplay and maybe that’s obvious) because I’m still happy I managed to do words! Sirius’ POV (post willow incident, but there were consequences in this AU that stymied the escalation that led to SWM):

Snape was hardly a simpleton, but he could leap to conclusions like a rubber frog with springs on. With the way his scrawny body seemed to be trying to meld arse first into the stone wall, he had probably hopped his head right into some dire soup.

(Because frogs can leap, and rubber bounces so a rubber frog could probably cross quite a distance, and once springs get added on even oceans are hardly a barrier; and then there’s the oblique reference to the “boiling frog” urban legend)

Severus Snape had such tar pit eyes. The gaze was dark and inexplicably sticky as he studied Sirius. There was no escape from that sort of stare. … … Severus Snape’s full attention was intoxicating. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, drowning in those lightless eyes. His bones could rest with all the other skeletons buried down there.

(Maybe it’s Legilimency, maybe it’s Maybelline. Unfortunately the geology in the UK doesn’t appear to have anything comparable to the La Brea tar pits, but I liked the idea because tar pits are dark and dangerous and very capable of holding onto skeletons from the past, right?)

[yj-98]

hello everyone. me again. cowboygame time.

context needed for the post: previous posts about arthur + john, and also that the dad that runs the gang theyre in is named dutch, and their other dad whos been with dutch the longest + was the most like an actual parent to them is named hosea

ANYWAYS! today i consider. being your fathers' son.

its like. interesting and compelling to me that arthur and john are definitely Dutch's Sons. plucked from orphanhood and moulded in his shape and ideology and have been with him and his gang family for decades by the time u meet them in the games. dutch puts a big emphasis on Family and commitment, and you see it in arthur and his dedication to the gang and you see how john crumbles under that weight and how him having left the gang for a year irreparably damaged his relationship with arthur. like they Are Dutch's kids. and dutch is not a nice man.

and arguably arthur and john arent nice either. but they are kind. they bite at each others tails and can be real assholes to people, including people they love, but they know when to be gentle. they know who is undeserving of ire and they know when to put down their ego. maybe not necessarily when it comes to each other but they still have moments between the bickering when they can offer "i owe you" "you will keep owing me" "thank you" "of course".

they learned this through dutch, this instinctual rise to any challenge. but it's lucky that theyre also Hosea's sons....... hosea taught them to read (alongside dutch), was a gentler and more grounded figure in their life. he's a cheat and a conman but hes Not dishonorable and he's genuinely shown to be very kind and good with kids and he cares for his boys as real kids he never got to have.

hosea is shown to be the level-head that balances out dutch's neuroses. he fights against dutch's more wild decisions. hes taught his sons to respect dutch but still question. hes the oldest in the group (dutch's senior by like. 10 years i believe. theyre both 40-50) and he didnt get that old being stupid. hes the robin hood w/ the golden heart. a former actor with love lost who's gone too far down this road with dutch to ever look back but doesnt look forward blindly.

and hosea spends so much time agonizing over his youngest son not thinking. thats the common gripe w/ john, that hes emotional and acts out blindly and he just doesnt think. contrast him to arthur who has at this point spent 20 years of his life being dutch's muscle. but hes got kindness at his core. he begins to question. hes a protector, hes an artist, hes tired. john questions because it fits wrong, arthur questions because death brings clarity. they are opposites here. john more like dutch who questions from the start and arthur more like hosea who only really starts to act after hes already a slow-boiled frog. arthur is compartmentalization to johns bleeding rage.

and when you look at them together. at how they react to each other. ESPECIALLY in the start, when johns rejoined them but arthur is still angry and hurt... on the surface its that john broke the first thing dutch taught them. loyalty. traitors dont come back. leave and youre dead to us.

but then the hurt of john LEFT the family. john's fear was more powerful than his love for his family. arthur was left behind. (and then why was he allowed back? why were exceptions made?) and THEN its that arthur had a kid, and while he wasnt more than friends with the kids mother, he didnt get a chance to watch the kid grow up to an adult. he helped coparent until one day he found them both dead and murdered. and john was willing to throw it ALL away + he hasnt made much effort to do better since coming back. the theme of the story over both games is feeling like they dont Deserve second chances. that there Are no second chances. there is no redemption. and yet john is given second chances, hes given chances at redemption, even if the rug is pulled. and arthur spends the last year of his life trying to redeem 35 odd years spent "wrong" to him. and his last chance is to make sure that his brother can, at least.

i just really like that it feels like a neat little bow. that arthur likes hosea better between the two. that they had hosea. that it comes full circle on both sons characters. that theyre ultimately flawed people trying to do good. a perspective they have because of hosea, even after he dies, in spite of dutch being hellbent on destroying their lives

[thefoulbeast]

I am wrought with anxiety. My chest is all a churning thing, swishing and swilling and spilling over. There seems to be no end to this – the fearful thumping of my heart, the fear of being apart from the crowd, or – anyone, really. Loneliness and lonesomeness feel like distant words, abstractions. I operate in the here-now like some scared pack animal, left out in the middle of a field. No matter which side I look to, I feel danger creeping up from behind, from the sides, from all around with no way to stop it.

Damn this devil, this anxiety. I don’t think I can continue on like this – it started off so innocent and became so unbearable, all insidiously slow. Like the frog that boiled in the pot – I realise the heat too late, already at the end of my constitution. Exhausted and bedraggled by this invisible foe, this demonic presence at the back of my mind. Always a battle too hard to be fought.

Always a pain, a fear, a struggle. And it doesn’t matter whether I think about the past, the present or the future. It doesn’t matter if I count sheep or focus on my senses – it always comes back, strong as before. I can keep it out only for little moments, stolen blinks of time. A conversation, a game, a poem – all so ephemeral it feels like a joke.

Because at the end of the day, it’s back, and I too am back under its influence. Scared and excitable, a twitchy, hard-breathing thing. Where can I escape to? What can I do to make it better? Make myself better? Please, don’t leave me. Not alone, not anymore. I simply could not stomach it.