#this game could actually be good if they properly planned it and didn't just...rush things

[blueesnow]

I'm kinda late to the info but damn—I really have no words but disappointment ww

[disgustingtwitches]

**MDNI**

"The closest to heaven we'll ever get"

Saw a lot of stuff about Simon helping out a s*x worker. Anyways, it reminded me of a personal experience I had so... Here I am 😃

5.5k words

*This is kind of Simon needing company and being a weirdo who needs constant validation.

Not gonna lie, it gets blasphemous at the end!

~

I always played around with the idea of being an escort. I was offered to do things while working in the strip club, but I always turned it down. I was spending every dollar I made because I could always make more, right? But when I broke up with my ex and realized I didn't have the credit or rental history to get my own place, I started panicking. The only option was to put down at least three months rent cash upfront, to even be considered. Suddenly, money was drying up at the club for me, my regulars were being whisked away by girls who would do more for less. I couldn't really get mad, it's just a part of the game really. So I knew what needed to be done.

I hit up one of my girlfriends and told her that I needed the extra cash and what I was willing to do for it. She helped me set up a website, took professional photos of me, made me business cards. The whole nine yards. Now all I had to do was wait. About a week in, I finally get my first client. It was awkward and surprisingly, both of our first times in this situation. I was sent back home in a black car and a few hundred bucks richer for just 30 minutes of my time. I felt a rush I never felt before.

As the months rolled by, the money came. Luxury was the new standard for me. Designer everything, nice dinners, even nicer dates. To my surprise a majority of my clientele were, at most, 10 years older than me, and even more surprisingly, good looking. Finance bros, guys with daddy's money, or just men who had the money to spare. They always talked about how it was more fun and less work to hire me than get a girlfriend. To get a pretty girl in their arm to parade around that wouldn't bicker and give them a hard time at the end of the night. No feelings attached, just company and good sex.

So here I am Saturday night. Instead of going out to the club like a normal woman my age in Manhattan should be doing. I am in my hotel. Waiting for a call or text from someone. Anybody. My hair in rollers, makeup half done. Just waiting. My phone lights up, a text coming in:

Hi, Gia. Was interested in spending an hour with you tonight, 11pm.

I smiled to myself. Finally, someone who reads my ad properly. Follows the instructions on what to text to me. Straight to the point.

Wonderful, just need a picture of your ID or passport.

I reply. Always a rule my girlfriend drilled into my head. Safety first. If they don't do it, then what could they be planning? Anything goes bad and all you have is a name that couldn't even be real. Any client worth your time understands your safety is a priority. So this was my way of feeling safer. A moment passes before my phone dings again.

A picture of a passport, full name and age. Along with a picture. He's cute. A little older than what I usually get but I'm not complaining. I quickly look him up, nothing out of the ordinary. Good.

Great. Thank you, Simon. I'll send an address for you to send a car at 10:20. Reach out to you then❤️

Before I start to get ready he texts,

Wear something casual.

Not an odd request. Actually most clients prefer it. Want more of a girlfriend vibe rather than an escort. I finished getting ready, helping myself to a glass of wine. Playing my usual bad bitch songs, it helped me turn into the woman I needed to be- from me to Gia.

10:25 rolls around. I get a screenshot of the Uber from him. 5 minutes out. I grab my purse and strut out of my hotel, to a nearby park. Never give your real address. Always make sure you're not being followed.

A black SUV pulls up, I slide in. Exchange pleasantries with the driver and I'm off. Headed to midtown. I share my location with a friend and how long I should be gone. My phone goes off.

Walk into the building and head to the elevators on the left. 36th floor. Apt. 4A.

I nod to myself before shooting a text of confirmation.

Got it. See you soon ;)

I pull up to the building, it's huge. Nicer than most places I've been. He must have some serious cash. I walk into the building and follow the directions he gave me. A little adrenaline rushes through me as I walk up to the door, always did when meeting someone new. I knock. He almost immediately opens the door, as if he was standing in front of it. Waiting.

Simon!

I say with a wide smile. He steps aside as I walk in, looking around. Nice place. Really nice place. Ceiling to floor windows, minimalist decor, the lovely smell of something masculine and expensive. He looks me up and down as I turn to him.

You look just like your pictures.

His voice is deep, alluring, unreadable. Sends a chill up my thighs that shoots straight to my core.

You do too.

I reply playfully. A small twitch plays at the corner of his mouth before disappearing. His face inscrutable. I shimmy off my coat before he takes it, hanging it up in a closet near the entrance. I wait for him to move. He stands, hands in his pockets, studying me. An awkward minute passes before he walks to the living room. I follow.

Really nice place you got here.

I try to make the moment more comfortable.

Hm.

He responds. He wasn't like the other men I've seen before. They are sociable, or at least try to be. I take a seat on the couch next to him, our knees barely touching.

Money's there.

He gestures to an envelope on the table. I nod, grabbing it.

Do you mind if I...?

I ask, opening it up. He nods and stands to pour himself a drink. My eyes widen. This is more than my usual rate. Much more. I'm quiet, trying not to show my shock.

Was hoping to do an overnight, if that's alright.

It was less of a question and more of a statement from him. It was more than enough for a night. I nodded.

Of course, I do wish you would've told me; I would've packed a bag.

I smiled, putting the envelope down on the table. I grab my phone and update my friend on how long I'd be gone for. I put away the phone quickly and look up at him. God, was he hot. And the way he carried himself made him even hotter, so nonchalant. He shrugged, sipping his drink before sitting next to me again, some space between us.

How long you been doing this?

He stares at me, gaze so intense I squirm a little.

Just a few months.

We're quiet again. Usually I try to carry a conversation if the other party can't hold one, but he makes me nervous. I talk again, asking mundane questions. It's like pulling teeth trying to have small talk with him. Maybe he's just not much of a talker.

I scoot closer to him, our knees barely touching. He puts his drink down, and rests his arms on the back of the couch. I lean in closer to him, resting my hand on his thigh before kissing his lips. He kisses back softly. We exchange light, almost timid kisses for awhile. He finally moves. A hand reaching up to grab at my hair, gently pulling. I moan faintly and that seems to set him off. He grabs me by the throat, not hard, just enough to stand me up and guide me to his bedroom; our kisses getting more intense. We strip each other of our clothes. I unbuckle his pants and pull them down, it feels like I'm opening a gift on Christmas. He's big. I smile up at him. He just looks down vacantly. I pull down his boxers and his erection springs up, tip drooling. He opens a drawer next to the bed, pulling out a condom and rolling it on himself.

Lay back.

He commands. I obey, opening my legs. I've done this so many times before, but this time it's different. As unceremoniously as he's treating this, I can't be more excited. His body is amazing, tattoos and scars just adding to the mysterious aura. His natural scent drives me wild. I look up to him as he crawls over me, lining himself up with me. He gives a couple lazy slaps on my slick. I take a sharp breath. He watches as he slides himself in, I tense up. Most guys are well... average. And he's well... much more than that.

Relax.

He huffs. Sliding himself in more, not giving me any time to adjust. I grip the bedsheets, clenching my jaw. I stare up at him, he doesn't even look at me. His face emotionless as he watches himself slide in and out. I try to unclench, opening myself up more to him.

Mhm...

He grunts. My nipples harden at his voice. I moan as he slams into my cervix repeatedly. It makes him shoot his eyes up at me, glaring into mine. His eyes dark pools, intense. He roughly hooks his arms under my knees, pushing them up to my chest. He digs even deeper into me as I whimper. He takes quick, shallow breaths.

You're so deep.

I say panting, the breath getting knocked out of me. I reach out to touch his muscular arms. He grunts and pounds harder into me. I throw my head back, whining. Trying to not wince in pain. He slows for a moment, pulling back, keeping my legs on his shoulders as he slides in and out. My breasts bounce up and down with each thrust.

You're hot.

A hint of emotion in his voice, he reaches down to knead my chest. My face gets hot. I tighten around him.

Fuck...

He makes a sound that almost resembles a moan. I smile up at him, almost proud of making him show any emotion. He looks down at me, a flicker in his eyes, a small smirk on his face that leaves as quickly as it came. He parts my legs and rubs at my clit in rough circles. I squirm under him.

Say my name.

He orders. His strokes picking up as I get used to him.

Simon~

As soon as his name leaves my lips, a deep rumble from his chest fills my ears. He leans over me, arms on either side of my head. I reach up to run my hands up and down the back of his neck.

Say you love me.

His request takes me aback. I pull him closer, my lips just under his ear.

I love you~

He immediately tenses up and takes a heavy breath. I could feel him twitch inside me as he finishes. He pulls away quickly, going to the bathroom to throw out the condom and clean up. He brings back a wet towel, wiping me down.

What's your name?

His tone as flat as ever.

Gia.

I responded. I know what he's actually asking me. Never, ever tell a trick your real name. Hell, he shouldn't even know your real age.

You know what I mean.

He glares at me. I shift awkwardly. Don't do it. He doesn't say a word, just stares in a way that makes me uncomfortable. Why should he know your real name anyways? I tell him my name. Stupid. Fucking dumbass. I kick myself. He nods and slides into some sweats, throwing me his shirt.

Let's watch something.

I throw on his shirt. Now this is what I'm used to. Being a temporary girlfriend. Pretending to be affectionate. Giving much needed companionship. He splays out on the couch as I lay on top of him. He turns on the TV, resting a hand on my ass and squeezing it. Maybe this is why he hires girls. Because of how distant he is. The man can't even hold a conversation. He flicks on some show he was in the middle of, a business dramedy that I couldn't care less about. I rest my head on his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair. We're like this for a while, quiet.

Tell me you love me.

He says dryly, looking down at me. I look up and kiss him.

I love you, Simon.

He gets hard immediately, rubbing himself on me. He gets up, lifting me up effortlessly, and throws me on the bed. He lays on top of me, pinning me down onto the bed. Kissing me much more passionately this time, like he was trying to taste every inch of my mouth.

Keep saying it.

His voice gruff. He moves his kisses down to my neck, pawing at my bust.

I love you, Simon.

I moan. I wanted him so badly. I don't care how I got him, I just wanted to take him. Something about him made me go crazy, deep inside. He yanks up the shirt I was wearing, moving his kisses more and more south.

You fuck other people raw?

I shake my head. I might've been a whore, but I wasn't reckless.

Never.

He nods.

Can I eat you out?

I look down at him. Something about seeing him between my legs makes me wanna say yes. The way his eyes looks almost as if he's pleading, desperate. No way. Never do that.

Yes.

I allow him to keep going. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I allowing this? Before I can think more, he plunges his tongue between my lips. Lapping up desperately, burying his face into me. I roll my eyes back, running my fingers through his hair.

I love you, Simon.

I gasp. It's the only thing he wanted me to say. I saw something in him, the way he reacted when I said that, it made me want to stay in his place forever. To never leave. Make him happy. It's just the good head talking, you'll snap back to your senses afterwards. He moans so quietly I can barely hear it. Barely. My legs on his shoulders, his arms wrapped around my thighs. Digging fingers into the soft flesh. He sucks on my nub repeatedly. It's a tortuously delicious feeling. I grip his hair a little.

I love you, Simon.

I look down at him, watching him devour me. He looks up at me, his eyes showing an emotion I can't decipher. He moves one hand down to slide two fingers into me.

I love you, Simon.

I moan, throwing my head back and smiling.

Hmm...

He mumbled into my heat. Pumping in and out before bending his fingers in a way that presses against my sweet spot. I hiss, pleasure flashing through me like a strobe light. I'm dripping wet. He pulls his fingers out and plunges his tongue into my entrance, trying to suck out every drop of my juices.

You taste good.

Voice as flat as ever, as if he isn't lost in between my folds. He drags his tongue up between my lips, from my entrance to my nub again. He slips his fingers in again, pressing up against my sweet spot repeatedly. I get lost in the feeling. God I could stay like this forever. He looks up at me, like he's looking for validation.

I love you, Simon~

I slip out between heavy breaths. He picks up the pace of his fingers and tongue. My face gets hot as I get closer, grip his hair a little harder. He goes even faster, harder, almost feverant. I roll my eyes back, panting. I whimper before crying out, tightening around his fingers in a vice grip.

I love you, Simon~

I force the words from my throat as I spasm under him. He continues, seemingly determined to draw another climax out of me. I mewled, trying to push his head away. He was unmoving for an unbearable moment. The only sounds were my pants and his slurping.

I love you, Simon.

I wailed, almost hoping it'll make him stop. He does thankfully. He pulls away, tearing off his sweats, beating off himself. Staring at me, his gaze is intense as ever. He grabs me by the thighs and drags me into his lap. He continues to stroke himself, staring into my wet core as if he was hypnotized by it.

Can I...

He starts, almost knowing he shouldn't ask the question.

Can I fuck you raw?

His voice is uncharacteristically soft and unsure. I blink at him, mind racing. ABORT! ABORT! THIS IS LIKE RULE #1 IN HOE-ING!!! He looked so delicious from this angle, his eyes still glued on my wetness. ARE YOU INSANE?? NO!! His throbbing, beautiful dick is twitching.

...yes.

I nod. You're the dumbest person on the planet. I insult myself a million different ways in my head. A brief moment of regret is replaced with pleasure as he slides his tip teasingly in and out of me. His jaw clenches, chest rising and falling faster. His voice cracks as a moan escapes him, his eyebrows furrow.

I love you, Simon.

I stare at him, eyes half lidded. The smallest smile spreads across his face, still looking at himself entering me. He inches his way in. Pulling in and out, going deeper each time. I squeeze him, make him bite his lip.

That's good.

He stated, voice quavering. He clears his throat before grabbing one leg and lifting it to my chest, digging deep into me. I take a sharp breath in. He hovers over me, arms on either side of my head again. He slides in and out, slowly at first then picking up to a punishing pace. I whimper and wiggle under him. He grabs my face, forcing me to look into his eyes that bore into mine.

I love you, Simon.

I stare right back at him, passion shooting right out of my eyes. His eyes flutter for a moment before blinking back into his cold, unnerving self. He continues to dig himself into me, slamming and grinding himself into the deepest parts of me. It's a painfully addicting feeling. I take his hand and press it up against my lower stomach so he can feel how much he fills me. He clenches his jaw so hard, it looks like his head could pop.

I love you, Simon.

I whisper. He drops down on top of me, snaking his arms around and behind my back to grab my ass. His mouth right next to my ear, I can hear his fast and shallow breaths. Little groans that slip out every now and then. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tighter.

I love you, Simon.

I hear him groan under me as I said it again. He goes faster than before, pretty much jackhammering me into the mattress. My mouth is agape and head thrown back. Only grunts escape my throat as I get fucked senseless.

Mhm...like that?

His words bounce around in my empty head. I replay it in my head over and over until I clench around him, he doesn't stop though. It only seems to spur him on even more. His warm breath tickling my ear as it gets more ragged.

Keep saying it.

He demands through gritted teeth.

Fuck... I love you, Simon.

I squeak out the words. He huffs and continues to rampage my body.

Can I come inside you?

He asks- No, begs. No use in turning back now. Just the thought made me close again.

Yes.

I nod and he breathes harder and harder until he pleads in a strained voice,

Say it.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside me.

I love you, Simon~

He spills inside me. His stammered breaths and moans driving me crazy. The feeling of him pumping into me driving me over the edge. I pull him closer, practically squeezing him.

I love you, Simon.

I tenderly kiss the top of his head as he nuzzles into my neck.

How often do you do this?

My head clears, a wave of regret coming over me.

Never. I never even hired anyone before you.

He says in a way so sincere I honestly believe him. How do you know when a trick is lying? Their mouth is open. Rules. Rules to live by, to be able to survive doing what I do. Rules. They all meant nothing as soon as I laid eyes on him. Somehow saw this coming a mile away in the back of my head. He pulled away from my grasp, disappointment flooded me. He leaned back, opening my legs: watching both of our cum dripping out of me.

Say it.

His eyes so focused, as if he were trying to take a picture with his mind; so he would never forget this moment.

I love you, Simon.

I say with a tender smile. His dick jumps. Good lord is this man insatiable. He stands up and does the same routine as before, cleaning himself up and then me. He hands me his shirt:

Here.

I throw it on and he leads me to the bathroom, grabbing me by the shoulders and making me face the mirror. He gently pushes my back, I lean my elbows on the countertop. I stand on the balls of my feet, trying to get my hips to meet his. As I look in the mirror, his face looks almost tender watching me sway my hips.

I love you, Simon~

I sing softly. He bites his lip, entering me again. God, I never get used to the feeling. He grabs my hips and pulls me onto him, he bottoms me out. Groaning louder this time, he pulls my hair back so I'm looking directly at the mirror, locking eyes with him.

S'it, pretty girl...

A corner of his mouth upturned just enough to know he's enjoying himself. His words make me flutter around him. He groans and starts to pound into me. The bathroom is filled with the duet of our breaths and groans. He pulls my hair so my back is pressed against his chest. He rests a hand on my throat, squeezing just enough. Moves his lips to my neck, still sliding in and out of me.

You love me? Huh?

He grunts, warm breath on the pulse of my neck.

I love you. So much.

I moaned. I repeated the phrase so many times, it started coming out of my mouth naturally. He moved his hand from my hair to my lower stomach, pressing against it so he could feel himself hitting my walls.

You love this dick, yeah? Say it.

His voice getting more demanding and urgent. I nod and look at him through the mirror, smiling.

I love it, I love this dick so much, Simon~

He nips at my neck as he continues to fuck me. His nips turn into bites. Bites that definitely leave marks. I didn't care, that didn't matter right now.

You're never fucking leaving, you know that?

A threat that sounded like heaven to me. He could keep me chained to the bed and I wouldn't care, just as long as he kept fucking me like this. I giggled with excitement.

You like that, hm?

He smiles against my skin before continuing to lick and bite my neck.

I love it~

I truly did. It felt heavenly. Better than anyone I've ever had. Ever. Something felt so familiar about his touch. As if I belonged there.

I love you, Simon~

At this point I feel like I'm reciting a prayer, the words flowing out of me like a stream. I was melting in his arms.

Turn around, wanna see that pretty face.

I did so eagerly as he lifted me up on the counter and slid inside me. I smirked up at him. He, as always, was watching himself impale me.

Looks so pretty...

He seemingly mumbled to himself. He leaned down and pressed our foreheads together, a firm hand on the back of my head. Hitting a spot so deep inside me I never knew I had. We were like this for a long minute, sloppy sounds of our sex bouncing off the walls.

I love you, Simon.

I stared into his eyes. They seem to soften for a moment before he tightened the grip on the back of my neck. A huff, and then he came undone. He stayed inside me until he was soft. He pulls out and pushes his fingers into my cunt, stuffing his seed back into me.

Hm.

He grunts in a way that sounds like approval before helping me off the counter. He leads me to bed and slips under the covers.

In my arms.

Commanding as he usually does. I press my head against his chest, his heart beating hard and fast. He wraps an arm around me, his touch much gentler than before. I fall asleep. Not too sure if he does too.

Morning comes and I'm woken up by the sun shining in my face. Sitting up, I'm in his bed, still wearing his shirt. Alone. I walk out to the living room and see him setting up breakfast on the coffee table.

You made this?

I question, surprised.

Ordered it. Good morning.

He turns to me, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks at me expectantly. I blink at him.

Good morning.

I say. He looks at me as if he was anticipating something else. I think for a moment before suddenly remembering.

I love you, Simon.

He steps to the side, inviting me to sit on the couch. I help myself to a seat and look at the plate in front of me. It's simple, French toast and eggs. I help myself.

Are you gonna eat anything?

I look at him quizzically. He shakes his head, staring like always. We're silent as I finish my plate. I grab my phone and check the time. Almost time for me to leave.

Can I book you for longer?

His voice is gruff. An underlying tone, pleading?

It'll be expensive.

I didn't want to say that. Wanted to say I'll stay as long as he likes. But I already made too many mistakes. Gotta get back on track.

I don't care.

Of course he didn't. He could probably buy me out for the rest of my life if he wanted to. He pulled out his phone, asking for my personal number so he could send the money straight to my bank account. Hesitantly I gave it to him. He probably could find out that stuff if he wanted to anyways. My phone dings, I check my bank app. My eyes pop out of my head. I look up at him bewildered.

How long would that get me?

He asks, as if he didn't send me an ungodly amount of money.

It's enough for a whole week...

Shock still overwhelming me.

You wanna stay that long?

He doesn't really ask. He knows I'll say yes. Doesn't even wait for my answer.

I'll let you get your things.

He throws some of his clothes my way and sends me back in a car to the hotel. I grab my bags and checkout. Is this really happening? A call from my girlfriend. I tell her about his extension. She says something about making sure he's not a serial killer. We laugh, tells me to have fun, don't fall in love. I scoff as if that was the stupidest idea I've heard. As soon as I know it I'm back at his place, he's grabbing bags from me, setting them to the side. Turning to me and running a hand up the side of my waist.

I love you, Simon.

We spend the whole week tangled up in each other. Taking a break before I say those four words and he has me pinned against a wall or over a dresser or kitchen counter. Any flat surface, really.

It's Saturday night and we're showering, cleaning off sweat and other bodily fluids from each other. His touch is so gentle, handling me like I was a piece of china. He liked me. It was obvious. Seemed like the only way he knew how to show it was by fucking me, though. I liked him too. Maybe not to the extent he did.

Seemed like he found something he needed for a long time. He was hungry. Famished. He couldn't just let go of me. He's not satiated yet. Don't know if he'll ever be. It was a looming feeling. Dark and heavy. A little scary. But it made me feel more desired than I've ever been before. And not just a carnal desire. It made me feel coveted.

We're laid up on his couch. Watching the show I didn't care for before, a little more invested. My phone lights up, buzzing. The name of a regular of mine across the screen in big bold letters. This is usually the time of the month he calls to set up a date. A reminder that this is all temporary. I let it go to voicemail. He tenses up. Jealousy and disappointment radiating off him.

How much for the whole month?

He doesn't even let me think of an answer before speaking again.

How much to make you quit for good?

I'm a little shook, sure I've heard it a dozen times before. Always said in jest. But he's serious. The few words he said, he always seemed to mean. No need to waste his breath beating around the bush. My heart races. I can feel his pound against mine. A number doesn't come to my head.

Let's just see how this goes.

He doesn't like that answer. He wants something solid. A promise that I'll never leave. More than a promise. But that's as good as he can get right now. There's a tense silence between us.

I love you, Simon.

The only thing I can think of saying right now. He takes hold of me, climbing into the bed and sits me in his lap. His back against the headboard.

C'mon love.

He says frigid. An underlying tone of disappointment and hurt. I slide myself down on him, a little more adjusted to his size now. He wraps strong arms around my waist, pulling me so close it seems like he wants to coalesce into my very being.

Give me a number.

A demand that seems more like a plea. We hold each other. Unmoving as he is still buried deep inside me.

Maybe it is a little toxic to spiral into the addiction to fast money. Maybe I'm a little sick of pretending to be the perfect woman. Maybe it is a little exhausting to be a fantasy and nothing more. Maybe it is a little lonely when it's just me lying in bed, when I have to comfort others. Where's my comfort in all of this? Where's my happiness in all of this? No more fake smiles. No more fake orgasms. No more fake feelings. I don't care if he's lying. I want to indulge in delusion. Even for a moment.

Ok.

I give in. He leans over, placing me on my back before adjusting himself on top of me. Touches my face, his showing an emotion that is genuine and staggering. Devotion? It feels like it.

I could almost cry, the way he takes me like I'm his. The way he talks to me like I'm not someone he hired. That didn't matter anymore. I wasn't an escort to him. I was his girl. The sex was different. Transcendant. Divine. Did I know I wanted to be saved? Of course I didn't know; for the life of sin and suffering is simply a thing to toil in until you are shown salvation. Every time he came, he baptized me. I was born again in his eyes, I was perfect and clean. Absolved of my sins.

He looked at me with so much adoration. I looked up at him, much in the same way Magdalene did to her Redeemer. He had turned a prostitute into a Saint. The unshakeable feeling of deliverance washed over as he touched me, no longer a leper. I was saved by him. His body. His sweat. His seed. Akin to taking Communion. The closest to heaven we'll ever get.

[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (VI)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu x OC

Word Count - 8.8K

Warnings - Oh you know, the usual drill - mentions of guns, blood, death, mafia and we have a little bit of stripping action going on here :)

Chapter summary - Na bi steps up from pawn to player as both sides of the board play their own game. But with every move she was making, the lines between victory and loss were blurring in ways she did not foresee.

| Previous Chapter | Masterlist |

"Oh thank god!" 

Ears catching his voice, Na bi turned only to find herself full body slammed into the blur of a hard chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she held on for balance, both surprised and relieved by his presence.

"Where have you been?" Mingyu tightened his arms around her, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "I've been worried sick. I've been looking everywhere-" 

"Okay, okay." She rubbed his back softly. "You don't have to worry, I'm good at taking care of myself."

"We hadn't heard from you in days Na bi, how could I not worry? Especially with I.M around, I thought he kidnapped you or did something-"

"What?" Na bi felt her mouth go dry as she peeled herself away from him, looking up confused. "What do you mean? Weren’t you the one who sent me to him?"

Mingyu looked at her just as confused. "I sent you to him??" 

Na bi glanced around the wards before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him into a nearby store room.

"First of all, Mingyu, how did you know I was here?" 

Given her phone was barely functioning, Na bi had spent all morning wondering how to contact Mingyu once she came to the city. Her plan was to go to the one place that was both unsuspiciously crowded and incredibly familiar to her - the hospital. She thought she could slowly figure things out once she got here but lucky for her, Mingyu was there the moment she stepped foot into the wards.

"Your phone." He answered, pointing at the small bag slung around her shoulders. "You've been off radar for days so I've been trying to track your phone day and night. Today I suddenly got a signal, moving towards the hospital so I rushed over immediately." 

Na bi leaned back against the shelves stacked with medications in relief, "Well, I was looking for a way to find you anyways, so I guess it's good you found me."

"What happened all this while? Where were you?" He held her by the shoulders softly, looking at her like he still couldn't believe she was here. "And what did you mean by that? That I sent you to him?" 

"Wasn't all this your idea? To make him think I'm in danger and then have him rescue me?" 

"Yeah that was the plan, after we had finished properly briefing and training you." 

Na bi frowned. "Training?" 

"You didn't think we were going to send you to a wolf’s den without proper preparation, did you?” Mingyu scoffed. “Na bi, he's a criminal, of course we were going to make sure you're at least capable of protecting yourself if it came down to it. Then we'd have set a time and place for it all and-" 

"So you……. you didn't send men after me?" 

"No, I didn't. We didn’t even brief you about the mission entirely, about what we needed you to do, how could we...." 

Na bi felt a strange ringing in her ears as his words trailed off. It wasn't Mingyu's men. That day in the alley, it wasn't Mingyu’s men. That meant she was….. actually being chased. That someone out there was still looking for her, that she was still very much in danger and Changkyun..... he truly had come to her rescue. 

“Na bi?” 

Na bi looked up at Mingyu, breaking from her reverie. 

“What did you say?”

“What happened after that? After those men chased you?” 

“I went unconscious after I ran into Wonho and his men, then when I woke up, I was in his house-” 

“IM’s house? His own house?” 

“Yeah.” Na bi nodded. “It’s this large house in the middle of a forest but Mingyu the concerning thing is.” She pulled out her map drawings from her bag, walking up to a nearby table and laying them open as Mingyu loomed over them. "I was near the sea." 

"The sea?" Mingyu turned to her surprised. "In Seoul?" 

"Exactly. I know it sounds ridiculous so at first I thought maybe we were somewhere near Boryeong or Sokcho? But I've scoured nearly the whole area and it’s just the ocean, all around, I think....." She took a deep breath. "My theory is that he’s based on an island." 

Mingyu’s eyes widened with epiphany, like things were finally making sense.

“That’s why we’ve never been able to find him in Seoul.” He scoffed. “Because he’s never here. The bastard hides on an island.” 

“I think so.” Na bi emphasized on the ‘think’. “If I had just managed to explore the east side, and found the ocean there as well, it would have confirmed my theory. We still wouldn’t know his exact location so I’m not exactly sure how that could have helped but-“

“It wouldn’t." Mingyu sighed. "Look Na bi, this is great work. You’ve done a whole deal more in a week than our entire department had done in years and I’m sure this information would help somehow but right now, this is not enough. Knowing where to find him isn't sufficient unless we get our hands on something that ties him to the crimes he’s committed - that’s what we needed you to do.” 

“Like what, evidence?” 

Mingyu nodded. “We all know he’s a criminal and he’s done horrible things but there’s never been any concrete evidence to implicate him. That’s what this mission was meant for - to  find evidence that tied him to the one crime we know he’s committed - Ana’s murder. We only you could have gotten your hands on anything at all, like his gun or his confession would have been even better-” 

“What did you say?” Na bi’s grip tightened over her bag. “His gun?”

Mingyu nodded. “If you could have gotten his gun with his fingerprints on it and the bullets matched the ones we found in her body, it would have been irrefutable evidence and we could have put that man behind bars for good. Then everything we’ve done so far would have been worth it….” Mingyu looked at Na bi’s impassive face. “What’s wrong?” 

Na bi stared at Mingyu not knowing what to say to the man. It was only when he reiterated the question that she shook her head slowly, gulping the phantom lump in her throat.

“Nothing, I was just….thinking about what you said, about everything we’ve done so far.” She cleared her throat again, gathering all her papers, stuffing them into her bag. “Let me see what I can do, I’ll be going back to his house again-”

“You will?” Mingyu looked at her slightly surprised. “You’re… you’re not back for good?” 

Na bi shook her head, “He offered to keep me in his protection. It would make sense for me to stay at least until my suspension is over.”  

“That means you still have an opportunity to do the job.” Mingyu looked at her expectantly. “That means it's not too late.” 

Na bi nodded as Mingyu’s face morphed from relief to concern, like he was worried he was asking for too much. 

“Will you be okay though? Does he treat you fine?” He rubbed her arm, softly. “He doesn’t suspect anything?” 

“He…” treats me like I’m precious. “I’m fine, I’ll be fine too, I’ve not done anything that’s too strange so I don’t think he suspects me.” 

“But he might.” Mingyu emphasized. “If he finds you snooping around for evidence he might get suspicious, so please be careful. I don’t think people like him are sympathetic to those who blindside them.” 

“I know.” Na bi muttered under her breath. “I know what it’s like to be blindsided…” 

“What is that?” Mingyu frowned, not having heard her soft voice. “Is there something else you need to tell me?” 

Staring at him, Na bi zipped up the bag carrying the exact gun Mingyu was looking for and shook her head. Taking a good look at her, he sighed. 

“Na bi I know I pushed you for this mission, all I wanted was for you to clear your name but.” Softly holding her hands, he pulled her up against him, wrapping his arm around her once more. “If anything happens to you because of it, I won’t be able to live with myself.”  

“Don’t worry.” Na bi looked over his shoulder at her reflection in the glass shelves. This time she didn’t hold him back. “I won’t let myself become a victim in this game.” 

Seokmin stared at the gun placed before him, eyes flickering between it and Na bi.

“So then…” He gulped. “You didn’t give Mingyu the gun?”

Na bi who had barged into Seokmin’s office unannounced, filled him in with all that happened so far, and was now sitting across him at his desk, shook her head, mindlessly rotating the revolver on his table. 

Seokmin shuddered. “Please stop playing with that.”

Muttering an apology under her breath, she grabbed it and stashed it back in her bag.

“I couldn’t give it.”

“Why not?” Seokmin blinked at her, confused. “Na bi, if you had, you could’ve gotten out of all this. The NIS could have matched the bullets, figured out the prints-“

“Yes, except……” Na bi finally said what was weighing her mind this entire time. “Ana didn’t die from a gunshot. She bled out by a slit on each wrist-” 

“Wait,” Seokmin sat up surprise. “You mean like all those cases we’ve been seeing in the ER?” 

Na bi nodded. “It’s apparently his signature, it’s how he marks his job. Mingyu showed me a picture of Ana’s body and I saw it, the slits on her wrists but Seokmin, there were no bullet wounds so why….” Na bi picked on the skin of her finger lost in thought. “Mingyu still isn’t being fully honest with me.” 

“What makes you think that?” 

“Think about it Min-ah, Tartarus has been a problem for years now, not even the WipeOut could fully eliminate them. Yes, they brought down the big ol' BlackJack, but only for a much smarter, much more efficient leader to take his place. You’d think at least now they’d figure that they should target the organization as a whole but Mingyu,” Na bi recalled the conversations she’d been having with him over the last many meetings. “Mingyu, Jihoon, they’re all only interested in the man and the man alone.”

“Why do you think that is?” 

Na bi shrugged. “I don’t know whether to assume they aren’t learning from previous mistakes or if there’s something else going on.” 

“But how does it matter?” Seokmin leaned back. “With IM, you’re at the risk of him catching up to what you are doing and with the NIS, you’re at the edge of legal prosecution and having your life ruined in a whole other way. The only way for you to safely get out of this situation is to do whatever the fuck Mingyu wants you to and let them handle IM. Why do you care about the implications-” 

“Ana.” Na bi insisted. “In part, I am responsible for what happened to her-” 

“That is not true.” 

“But it is, if not for my meddling the situation would probably not have-” 

“You don’t know that Na bi.” Seokmin raised his voice. “You don’t know anything…..” He softened looking at her face. “That’s what you can’t stand, isn’t it?” 

“Maybe.” Na bi confessed honestly. “The reason I agreed to help Mingyu was so I could get some answers about Ana but I’m nowhere close. I still don’t know why he went from wanting to talk to her to cold blooded murder.” 

“And the reason you still don’t know that is because you chose to throw yourself into every and any other exploration rather than having a direct conversation with him.” 

Na bi rolled her eyes. Only because she knew he was absolutely right. 

“Why is that Na bi?” Seokmin edged despite knowing the answer already. “Afraid of what his answer will be? Are you still that attracted to him?” 

Na bi blinked at Seokmin like he was being ridiculous but sighed when continued looking at her pointedly. 

“I…I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t want to be. Knowing what he did with Ana, I know I shouldn’t be but every time he comes in front of me, I forget all purpose. It’s like I’m nothing but an embodiment of hormones, it’s…..it’s repulsive.” 

“It’s human.” Seokmin sympathized. “You said so, it’s a primal response of a woman to a man. But the good thing is, you do know better than this.” 

“Do I?” Na bi stared out of the window behind Seokmin. “I’ve been running through miles and miles of forest to convince myself that I am doing it with a purpose when what I’ve actually been running away from is him. I keep saying  that I’ve not been able to find out more things because he’s never around but the truth is, a part of me is glad he isn’t. I’m glad to not have to face him because everytime I do, I feel like I’m on the losing side of things. To add to all of it, he’s not even a little interested in me.” 

“I don’t think that’s true.” 

Na bi shook her head.  “He has someone he loves, either she left him or she’s dead but the point is, he’s not over her.” 

“We don’t know that, we don’t know what happened in his past.” 

“Mrs. Lee told me-” 

“Mrs. Lee did not witness what happened between the two of you the night he dropped you home.” Seokmin insisted. “And that was literally hours after you met for the first time. You cannot tell me he’s not into you.”

Na bi felt her breath quicken as the events of that night flashed in her head. The touches, the way it felt….

“Well nothing has happened since.” She turned away frustrated. “You know what it’s been like for me Seokmin? It’s physically excruciating to keep my hands away from him - that’s what it is like when you’re “into someone”. That man is not attracted to me because trust me, I’d know if he was.” 

“I’m still going to have to disagree with-” 

“God you’re pissing me off-” 

“Think about it Na bi, who were the ones who chased you?” 

“What?” 

Seokmin looked at her pointedly. “Considering the fact that he was attacked, whoever his enemies are, they have discovered him already. That means you are no longer relevant or needed. The NIS on the other hand has claimed that they did not send their men for your little act, so then who was after you?”

Na bi looked at him with a loss of words. 

“Okay, tell me this, was it you who asked to stay in his house or was it him who offered?” 

Na bi blinked, confused. “I don’t remember, I think it was him-” 

“Exactly.” Seokmin slammed the table. “You didn’t enter his world because you wanted to. You’re there because he wanted this. Because he wants you.” 

Na bi let out a deep breath as Seokmin leaned back into his chair, victoriously making his point.

“Use that to your advantage Na bi. You can bring that man to his knees if you want.” 

Sprawled on the couch, Na bi was on her second glass of whiskey for the night when Changkyun walked into the house. The clock chimed softly, making her look up. It was 2 AM. 

“You’re awake Ms. Baek.” Noticing her presence in the dimly lit space, Changkyun stopped in his tracks.

“So are you.” Na bi tipped her head back, finishing up the last of her drink before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Is being nocturnal characteristic of the infamous man of the shadows?” 

Changkyun smiled, amused at her slightly slurring self. “More like a necessity.” 

“Not very different from us doctors, you know.” 

Na bi muttered, making an unsuccessful attempt to pull herself off the couch, and then another. Just as she began to try again, Changkyun walked up to her, holding out his hand. Knowing she was too tipsy for this, she took his hand, allowing him to pull her up to her feet, face inches away from him. 

They always seemed to find themselves like this, inches apart, a palpable electricity surging between them among the hundreds of questions and possibilities.

As usual, Changkyun took a step back to walk away but this time, Na bi held his hand. 

“Don’t go.” His eyes stared at their intertwined hands before looking up at her flushed face. “Have a glass with me, it gets really lonely here.” 

Perhaps he understood that because he didn’t disagree. Instead he took the empty glass from her other hand, and walked towards the bar at the edge of the kitchen. Na bi followed him slowly, looking out of the large french windows across, watching as lightning lit up the night sky. 

“Looks like it's going to rain.” She observed and as Changkyun poured out two glasses, as if on cue, rain too began to pour outside. 

Na bi grabbed a glass and walked closer to the window, tracing the streaks of water running down the cold surface. The sound of the rain filled the silence between the two of them - somehow although no words were exchanged, Na bi felt incredibly at peace. 

As the light buzz of the whiskey took the wheel, she took a deep breath, and looked over her shoulder, finally breaking the silence. 

“Do you want to play a game?” 

Changkyun raised an eyebrow. “A game?” 

Na bi nodded slowly, turning around to find Changkyun leaning against the bar table, watching her. 

“It’s simple.” She quickly downed her third glass. “We ask each other questions. If we answer it correctly we get to drink a glass.” 

Changkyun swirled the ice in his whiskey with his finger. “Seems like you’ve drank enough Ms. Baek, I think you should sleep.” 

With you? 

Na bi recalled the night they shared in her room - the same kind of energy was surging between the two of them again, like history was about to repeat. 

Licking her lips, she walked over, stopping inches away from him. “But if we don’t answer, then we strip. One article for one question.” 

Chankgyun's eyes wandered down her body before he tilted his head at her. "You're not wearing much."

In hindsight, she should have considered that Changkyun was in his usual 3 piece suit while all she had on was a night gown and a robe but now it was too late to back off. 

"That shouldn't be a problem.” She stood beside him, filling her glass again, resting her arms on the surface. “I don't intend to lose." 

Changkyun looked at her, tongue poking his cheek before he raised his glass in a challenge. 

"Ladies first." 

Na bi nodded, staring at her drink, trying to figure which of the hundreds of questions in her mind to voice.

“Do you find me attractive?” 

.

.

.

Changkyun looked at her with an intensity that made her cheeks burn. 

.

.

.

“Insanely.” 

Lips parted, she blinked surprised. Oh. 

“My turn.” 

The two of them looked away as Na bi held her breath, wondering what he might possibly ask her. 

"What's the case number of your first patient?" 

"What?" Na bi turned to him, dumbfounded. Given the situation, that's what he wanted to ask? "That was so many years ago."

"I'm not hearing an answer." 

"You can't possibly expect me to remember that?"

"Answer Ms. Baek, or should I remind you of your rules?"

She looked away annoyed. "Fine, it's S175-"

"You do know you're a terrible liar." Changkyun smiled with amusement dancing in his eyes. He was mocking her. 

"The question is unfair."

"So is lying." He leaned, his lips hovering by the shell of her ear. "Strip."

Na bi stared at him for a hot minute feeling the throbbing of her pulse in very unwarranted areas of her body. Shivering a little, she slipped the robe off her shoulders and threw it aside. A slight smirk danced on his lips. 

“Winners deal the next hand, right?” 

Na bi rolled her eyes at what seemed like a blatant attempt to make her completely strip with the help of baseless questions but before she could deny, Changkyun spoke up. 

"What’s your sister’s name?" 

What? 

Na bi blinked at him, completely taken aback. That.... that was the last thing she was expecting him to ask. How did he even know? Had she ever mentioned her sister to him? Na bi hadn’t taken her name in years….

Understanding her silence, Changkyun held his hand out. Realizing belatedly, Na bi unhooked the small necklace of charms she always wore and dropped it into his palm. Changkyun slipped it into his pocket safely as he walked up to the window, staring outside. 

“Where’s your sister now Ms. Baek?” 

What was he doing? Here Na bi thought she could get him to answer some of her doubts instead here he was, asking her the very questions that were closing up her throat. Why was he asking her these? 

As Changkyun’s finger tapped his glass impatiently, Na bi reached for the hem of her nightgown and pulled it over her head. Sure she was able to confidently do it given all that whiskey in her system and the frustration that she was losing, but the moment she cast the gown aside, self consciousness took over, making her glance at Changkyun’s back. He did not turn.

"What happened between you and your sister Ms. Baek?"

Swallowing the phantom lump in her throat, Na bi continued to stare at him. Why was he pressing this? Did he know something? How could he know anything at all? 

Knowing that she dug this grave for herself, Na bi began to unclasp her bra when Changkyun looked over his shoulder. 

"I don’t know why it feels like I’m losing Ms. Baek." Na bi blinked at him as he finally turned to her. "You'd rather undress than confide. You protected your secrets - I guess that makes you the victor." 

Na bi opened and closed her mouth, words not leaving it. This game couldn't end here, she barely got the chance to even ask him anything.

"You didn't lose, you’re withdrawing.” She took a weak shot at his ego. “It's worse, it's cowardly." 

"Is it?" He smiled. "Am I the one who's afraid?" 

No. Not at all. It was her who was terrified. Terrified of what he said. Terrified of what he knew. Terrified of what she might do. Knowing that she had long crossed the line she had drawn yet desperate to not truly be the one who lost tonight, Na bi slipped her bra off as one last attempt. 

"Yes, because whatever it is, I'm not afraid."

Changkyun's eyes hardened but not in the way she had assumed it would. 

"Ms. Baek." He walked up, Na bi's pulse matching his every step. "Let me lose myself to you one more time."

She gulped as he placed himself incredibly close, slowly stripping out of his jacket.

"You're truly one of the most beautiful and attractive women I've ever seen. Perhaps the most." His fingers ran across her shoulder, pushing back her hair falling over it. Na bi held her breath as he met her eye. "But I'm not interested in your body. Baring yourself to me like this.....I don’t want it."

Throwing his jacket around her shoulders, he stepped back, leaving her utterly confused and at a loss of words. Picking up her clothes from the floor, he handed it to her, in exchange for the glass in her hand, while his own one was barely touched. 

"Good night Ms. Baek." 

And with that he walked away, leaving Na bi with pieces she did not know how to collect. 

“I did not see that coming.” Seokmin muttered as Na bi buried her face in her hands, every inch of her being still embarrassed. “I really thought it would work-”

“I told you.” Na bi spoke through gritted teeth. “I told you so, you didn’t listen to me-”

“I wasn’t entirely wrong, he did say he found you attractive-” 

“He also said he wasn’t interested in me, you dumbass.” Na bi shook her fast. “God I can’t do this anymore. I don’t care if its the right thing to do or not, I’m just going to hand Mingyu the gun and get out of this as soon as I can-” 

“Baek Na bi is giving up?” 

“How am I supposed to face him again, Seokmin?” Na bi exploded. “Do you know how many times I have shamelessly thrown myself on this man? I can’t possibly go back there.” 

“And what about Ana?” Seokmin reminded her. “I thought you were in it for Ana.” 

At the mention of her name Na bi leaned back into her chair, sighing, staring at the ceiling. 

“I am.” Running her hands through her hair frustrated she shook her head. “But I don’t know what to do now. I’ve searched the house, there’s nothing of value there. Mrs. Lee, Wonho, they're all too loyal to him to say anything. I haven’t seen a single other person there in days and him… I can’t get through to him, I can’t make him talk. There’s literally nothing left to do.” 

“Didn’t you mention something about his headquarters?” Seokmin frowned like he was searching his memories. 

“When he told me about Ana, he mentioned she turned up at his headquarters.” Na bi recalled the photo. “It must be the place where he operates from, where the rest of his men are and it probably has more answers but I couldn’t find it. I don’t know where it is and he’s obviously not going to tell me because for him, I’m a nobody-” 

"You're not a nobody-" 

“Lee Seokmin, did you not hear a word of what I had been ranting?” Na bi looked at him exasperated. “Clearly for him, I am nothing but a pitiable prey caught in this mess. I’m sick of trying to make you understand-” 

"I got it. He finds you attractive but is not attracted to you, I got it but I don't think he sees you as just a helpless thing to protect.” Seokmin fiddled with the pen in his hands. “You've proven to him that you're intelligent enough to handle him. You dealt with his men following you, you figured his warehouse out in one go, you were dating a cop while you were treating him in your house for God's sake, so no, I don't think he, or anyone in his place would make the mistake of seeing you as a nobody, you're something Na bi. You just need to clearly establish what.” 

Na bi frowned at Seokmin. “And what is that?”

“An ally.” He stated, like it was obvious. “IM definitely doesn't see you as an enemy, because you've never done anything that's of disadvantage to him but he also has no reason to see you as a friend so give him one. Show him you’re on his side, become an ally and gain his trust - maybe then you’ll find a way into these headquarters of his." 

Na bi leaned back, eyebrows pulled together in thought. How on earth was she going to do that? 

Slowly pushing open the door of Changkyun’s room, Na bi peered into the dimness as the sun began to set outside. 

From what she could see he was not there - the place was uninhabited, the water wasn’t running either. As the calm and quiet of the room lulled her, she stepped in, taking a deep breath. Na bi knew she shouldn’t be entering his room when he wasn’t here but that was precisely why she was her. There was something important she had to do and she’d rather do it without having to see him - returning his gun. 

A part of her told her this was an utterly stupid decision but another part knew it was a necessary move to make. If she had to gain his trust the way Seokmin suggested, she had to show him he could trust her, that she wasn’t acting against him in any way. 

Looking for a paper to write him an explanatory note, Na bi shuffled through the sheets on his table only to yet again find dozens of maps of Seoul. Pushing them aside, she looked through the pages, recognising various places in the city, wondering why so many routes looked unfamiliar to her. When the door creaked behind her, Na bi didn’t hold her breath this time. 

“Before you say anything, I…” Her words trailed away as the sound of the footsteps increased. 

That was most definitely not Changkyun.

"And who do we have here?" 

Freezing at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, Na bi glanced at the window before her, eyeing the slightly hazy reflection of a man who seemed to have striking blonde hair. Slowly turning she found herself at an arm's distance from a man who was yes, handsome, brawny, rugged but something about him was incredibly sinister, perhaps that golden canine that shone at the edge of his twisted smile. He too had donned a suit much like the ones Changkyun wore except there were stains of red on the white of his shirt. Blood. 

"Looks like my little brother broke one of his rules." 

Na bi raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know he had a brother.."

"He's as good as one.” The man clarified, leaning in. “But what might you be to him?" 

“I’m..” Eyes tunneling on the scars of his fist, Na bi shook her head. “No one significant. Who are you-” 

"Jooheon."

Na bi looked over the man’s built shoulder to see Changkyun who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, leaning against the doors of his room. A wave of relief washed over her; and a realization - yes her heartbeat quickened when Changkyun was around, she could never seem to find her breath in his presence, she was always on the edge when it came to him but never, not once, was she truly afraid of him. This man though, Jooheon was it? Something about his presence made her skin tingle with discomfort.

 “Ms. Baek, I hope you can give me a minute.” Changkyun stepped back with a tilt of his head. “Jooheon was just leaving.” 

 “Looks like we’ll have to get acquainted another time, Ms. Baek.” The blonde man smirked at her with a small nod. “I look forward to it.” 

“Likewise.” Na bi stared him down as he stepped out of the room, shutting its doors, giving her one last curious look. 

Leaning against the table, moderately unnerved by the interaction, Na bi unzipped her hoodie, fanning herself. Changkyun’s world of shadows truly had dark things. Brushing it aside, she almost turned her attention back to the papers when her ear caught the sound of the muffled voices outside. 

"I thought you don’t do business with Madame anymore. So whose is she?" 

"Whose?" 

A pause. A sigh. Then another pause. 

"Mine." 

Na bi felt something in her chest flutter. 

"Yours? You mean you picked her from the streets?" 

"She's not a whore Heon. I met her while we were searching for Ana. It's a long story-"

"Kyun-ah, you know better than me in these matters... was this.... was she your only option?"

"She's not an option.” The click of his lighter followed. “She's the only one." 

Lips parted, Na bi stared at the brown oak of the doors. The only one. 

“This whole deal with Ana ended up becoming a lot more problematic than we thought huh?” 

Something about the silence told Na bi that Changkyun must have nodded.

"And the search for Hyungwon? Any leads?"

"I'm trying, my men are looking but unfortunately a lot of time goes in cleaning Minhyuk’s mess. Maybe if he got it together, I'd have more time for other things." 

Jooheon made a disapproving noise. "I'll tell Shownu hyung to talk to him, he'll listen to him-" 

"Don't. Not after all he's been through off late. Kihyun would be the better option right now." 

"Kyun, you know Kihyun won't do anything for you." 

Changkyun sighed, the annoyance apparent. "For the last time, I did not do it. First of all, arson is not my thing, and second, I know the rules. We keep women and children out of our fight. You know I never have and never will lay my hands on one."

Na bi's ears perked. 

"Nothing’s been going right the last few months. How did we all end up like this?" Jooheon shuffled around. "What do your sources tell you? My gut instinct says that the cops are up to something." 

Changkyun went quiet for a while, like he was lost in thought. "It can't be them. They don't have what it takes to stand against us. This is someone else.... someone smarter, someone more dangerous but don’t worry, I’ll find them.” 

“I know you will just…. be careful, and her.” Na bi had a feeling she was the one being referred to here. “I hope she’s worth the trouble.” 

To her slight disappointment, either Changkyun didn’t say anything or the muffled sounds of footsteps drowned out his response - either ways, before she knew it, the doors opened, to Changkyun alone this time. 

“Ms. Baek.” Changkyun’s eyes flickered over the papers on his table behind her that had clearly been moved around. “I see you’ve found your way here in my absence yet again.” 

“I meant to leave before you came.” Na bi held out the weapon in her hand. “I came to return this. You dropped it by the spring that night…..” 

Changkyun stared at the revolver silently.

“You’re telling me, you found it, kept it with you all this while and you’re returning it now?” 

Na bi blinked, mentally beating herself up for not considering the alternative to gaining Changkyun’s trust - facing his anger. Taking a small step back, she muttered softly. “I’m sorry.” 

Changkyun looked at her, his eyes unreadable as usual but not blank - it was like too many things were flashing in them. 

“Thank you.” He said finally, reaching for it, holding it like it was precious to him. “It would have broken me to part with it.” 

Na bi watched his expression curiously, wondering why it held so much meaning for him. Slipping it into the pocket inside his jacket, he looked at her and Na bi immediately looked away, refusing to meet his eye

“I’ll go now-” 

“I have something to return to you too.” 

Na bi scrunched her eyebrows in confusion as he slid his hand into the other pocket, pulling out what looked a lot like a ring box. Eyes widening, jaw slightly dropping, she took a terrified step back. No, no, no, no-

And to her relief, it wasn’t even close to what she had pictured - Changkyun pulled out her necklace which he kept from her yesterday, dangling it before her. Inwardly sighing in relief, Na bi moved closer, reaching for it, when she noticed an additional charm added to her little collection - a small butterfly. 

“My mother says they represent freedom.” He stared at it, the stones shining the light of the evening sun. “Your suspension will end in a few days, you’ll be gone soon - I figured it's a good parting gift.” 

“Didn’t know parting gifts were a part of your security measures.” Na bi felt a strange bitter taste in her mouth. “I thought making sure I was safe is all you cared about.” 

“Ms. Baek.” Changkyun shifted, realizing where the hostility was coming from. “If this is about what I said yesterday-” 

“See this is the issue.” Na bi pointed out. “What you say and what you do, don’t align and it’s driving me crazy. I’m tired of trying to make sense of it by myself so I’m going to ask you clearly once and for all.” Na bi finally looked him straight in the eye. “What are we?” 

Changkyun stared at her in silence as she continued. 

“We’re not unfamiliar enough to be strangers, we’re not familiar enough to be partners, we’re not against each other to be enemies,” She sighed. “Are we at least…I don’t know, friends?” 

 “Friends?” Changkyun raised an eyebrow before softly shaking his head. “No Ms. Baek, we are not friends. And I’m not interested in being one either.” 

“Repeat that.” 

Na bi sighed, rolling her eyes, repeating for the second time. “No Ms. Baek, we are not friends and I’m not interested in being one either.” 

“What did you reply?” Seokmin egged, knowing the exact answer. 

“And I’m not interested in being your charity case either.” 

“And you walked off and didn’t take your necklace.” 

“I walked off and didn’t take my necklace.” She confirmed, leaning back into her chair. 

“Why not though, it belongs to you anyway-” 

“I don’t give a fuck about that necklace Seokmin.” She did but that was not the point now. “The point is, I’m never going to be able to gain his trust, I’m never going to be able to get anything out of him. We are back to where we began.” 

“Well I guess alternatively-” 

“No, I'm done taking suggestions from you.” Na bi snapped at Seokmin who instantly shut up. “For a change, I already have a plan in mind.” She fiddled with her hands on her lap. “Did Mingyu reply to you?” 

Seokmin checked his phone again and shook his head. “He said he’ll be here in 10. But that was almost 15 minutes ago.” 

Na bi clicked her tongue impatiently, tapping her feet away. The moment she came to the hospital, she rushed to find Seokmin and urgently grabbed the phone from his hands, sending Mingyu a much needed cryptic message. Just as she wondered if she was being too vague and attempted to clarify what she wanted, Mingyu replied that he would see her in the hospital in 10. Making use of the gap, Na bi filled Seokmin in with the details of the interaction last night, causing him to wrack his brain with the exact confusion she had been going through for weeks now. 

“So here’s what we know.” Seokmin began counting on his fingers. “He finds you attractive but is not attracted to you. He doesn’t see you as a friend but also doesn’t see you as an enemy but also is extremely protective of you but also doesn’t care enough to ever make conversation with you but also indulges in games involving stripping but also doesn’t even look at you in said game but also makes sweet and thoughtful gestures and is also incredibly hurtful with his words.” Seokmin finally took a much needed breath. “What is this man?” 

Na bi looked at him with an expression that clearly said, ‘welcome to my world’ 

“There’s no point thinking about him anymore.” She shook her head with resolve. “I’ve exhausted all possible options and now I’m going to take my last shot at this.” 

“And what is that?” 

“This.” 

Na bi turned to the sound of Mingyu’s voice, finding him standing by the door, a vial of colorless liquid placed on his outstretched hand. Na bi got up, slightly panicking that he had caught her right in the middle of doing the one thing she was asked not to - disclose any details of this mission to anyone. 

“Mingyu you’re here.” Walking up to him, she tried to pointlessly cover Seokmin’s presence by standing in his line of vision. “I thought we’d meet at the storage room, like last time-” 

“That would perhaps be troublesome for you, considering you’ll need to fill in Seokmin about our conversation once it’s done.” 

Na bi opened her mouth to deny? justify? apologize? Whatever it was, Mingyu didn’t want to hear it. “I’m not complaining Na bi, it's unfair to not let you have a confidant during such a difficult mission.” 

Seokmin, who tried his best to seem invisible, sank further in his chair as Mingyu walked in, settling down on a nearby couch. Eyes flickering between the two men, Na bi leaned against the wall as an awkward silence descended in the room. 

Before Na bi could break it, Mingyu beat her to it. 

“I was hoping we could have met in the NIS safehouse instead.” Mingyu looked at her impassively. “Jihoon wants to talk and we’ve also arranged for a professional to do IM’s sketch.” 

“I can’t go there.” Na bi shook her head. “His men are always around me, they’re always watching. The only reason I’m able to meet either of you is because this is a staff only area of the hospital and the only people allowed to be here unauthorized are, well, cops.”

Tearing his eyes away from her, Mingyu stared at the tiles of the floor. “So you won’t come.” 

“I can’t.” Na bi corrected. “As long as I’m with him I can’t come to you.” 

Mingyu’s jaw tightened in a way that Na bi had never seen before. He seemed annoyed, angry even, constantly fidgeting with his hands.

“Mingyu, are you okay?” 

He looked up at her confused face and let out a deep breath. “Yeah I’m fine. I brought what you asked for.” He added, placing the vial on the couch beside him. “I had to break about 50 odd organization rules to get this so I hope it’s worth it to you.” 

Na bi walked up to him, picking up the serum, holding it against the light. It struck her as she was pacing up and down her room last night, thinking hard about what to do next - if she were to get anything out of Changkyun, there was no way it could be by will, so the only choice she had  was chemical coercion - the NIS’s truth serum. 

As Na bi attempted to grab her bag to keep it away safely, Mingyu held her hand. 

“I hate that you’re with him.” He confessed, his thumb running across the back of her hand. “Na bi, I might have come into your life for the sake of this mission but what you and I shared, that was real. And I don’t know why but the more time passes, it feels like you are slipping away from me so, please,” He looked up at her, eyes sad. “Just, finish this soon and come back to me.”

“I….” Na bi’s lips parted with a loss of words. Where was this coming from? “Mingyu, you and I…. I haven’t….“ She glanced at Seokmin who looked like he wanted the Earth to split into two and swallow him just so he could be anywhere but here.“I’ll do my best to get done with this as soon as I can, okay? Just don’t think too much.” 

Mingyu nodded, not entirely convinced, but enough to drop the topic. “Take this as well.” He pulled out a neatly wrapped parcel, placing it in the middle of her palm. “It’s a new phone, it’ll be of use.” 

“There’s no signal where he lives. I won’t be able to call, you won’t be able to track me-” 

“It’s got a functioning camera.” Mingyu finally let her go, leaning back into the softness of the couch. “It might be suspicious for you to capture his face on it but you can take pictures of any other useful information.” 

“What kind of useful information?” Na bi raised her eyebrows confused. “I thought you what you wanted was his gun?”

“And do you have it?” 

Na bi blinked at him rapidly before shaking her head too quickly. If Mingyu caught on to her lie, she couldn’t tell.  

Rubbing his temple Mingyu sighed. “We were wrong to think it was enough to find implicating evidence against him - it would be like we learnt nothing from the last time.”

Na bi and Seokmin exchanged a look. 

“The more important thing is to take down Tartarus so you were doing the right way. You should focus on finding more information like where his headquarters are, how to identify his men, things of that sort.” 

Na bi frowned at him, “Why the sudden change of heart? I mean, till two days back you had a different opinion.” 

“Let’s just say we have our own confidants to discuss things with.” Mingyu got up, shooting Seokmin a cold look. “And they had a different say.” 

Na bi crossed her arms, mind racing with thoughts as Mingyu grabbed his bag from the floor and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Take care.”

The moment he left Na bi turned to Seokmin, walking up to the window behind him.“Do you think he overheard us that day? Why does it feel like he’s parroting the conversation we had?” 

Seokmin shrugged. “Maybe he did, it would explain why he looks so devastated-”  

“He did seem off.” Na bi muttered.

“Yes Na bi ‘off’ is the word one would use to describe men hopelessly in love.” Seokmin rolled his eyes. “He’s so blatant and explicit about his want for you, what’s keeping you from him?”  

Staring at the grass outside, she peeled the skin of her fingers painfully. 

“He’s handsome, makes good conversation, is fun to date and I don’t know maybe he’s a good fuck too…”

“But?” Seokmin leaned back. “I sense a ‘but’ coming.” 

“But I don’t want him, not in the way he thinks he wants me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Seokmin, what does Mingyu even know about me?” Na bi turned to him. “My life, my past, experiences that define me, things that terrify me… he doesn’t know me at all. What Mingyu wants is the idea of me - the epic story of two people who save the world and drive off into the sunset. What he wants is a storybook, happy ending and I don’t believe in that kind of love.” 

“You don’t believe in any kind of love.” 

“Which is exactly why this conversation is redundant.” 

“Life cannot be based just on superficial attachments Na bi, how long will you live life from one good fuck to another?” 

“Which is also why I hate having these conversations with you.” Na bi sighed, exasperated. “You love love Seokmin, congratulations, good for you. I, on the other hand, don’t want it because I don’t believe in it. Why is that so problematic for you-” 

“Because it’s not love that you don’t believe in.” Seokmin stood up, standing by her side. “You don’t believe you’re worthy of it.” 

Na bi continued to stare out of the window, watching Mingyu finally make his way out of the hospital, walking towards his bike. He met her eye as he got on, giving her the familiar sweet smile that was missing all this while. 

“I don’t know what exactly it is Na bi, but I know you carry a weight that’s only gotten heavier over time. I can only hope you find someone who can share that burden with you.” Seokmin put his arm around her, rubbing softly as Mingyu drove off. “You deserve to love and be loved.” 

“Na bi!” 

Na bi turned at the sound of Mrs. Lee’s loud voice, halting in the middle of the living room. 

“I’ve been calling out to you for so long, where are you lost?” 

Na bi blinked, lost. From the moment she had left Seokmin’s office she had been distracted by her own thoughts. By Seokmin’s words to be more precise. 

“Nothing, I was just….” She walked over to the kitchen. “Thinking about something.” 

“You’re back early today.” 

“I didn’t have much to do.” She confessed sliding onto the counter, earning a disapproving click of the tongue from the older woman. “I’m going to miss being this relaxed from next week.” 

“Feels like you were barely here and you’re going to leave already.” Mrs. Lee smiled at her sadly. “I’m going to feed you well before you go back to the horrible instant noodle life of yours. Tell me all your favorites.” 

“Not the master's favorite?” Na bi feigned shock, earning a small laugh from the other lady.

“I always make my master’s favorite.” She pointed at the jug Na bi hadn’t noticed beside her, filled with a pink liquid. Na bi gulped, remembering the drink Mingyu had bought during their first meeting in the bar. The one laced with the truth serum. The serum that was in her bag at this moment, waiting to be used. 

Desperate to divert her mind, she shook her head. “I’m sorry but that does not look even a little appetizing.” 

“It’s healthy.” 

Na bi turned at the sound of Changkyun’s voice, eyes falling on him at the edge of the kitchen, dressed in his usual attire, looking at her. Na bi looked away, focusing on Mrs. Lee instead as she scurried around to find glasses and fill them with the pink juice. 

“I don’t want that Mrs. Lee, I prefer or….” Na bi trailed away as Changkyun walked up to her, a glass of orange juice in his hand held out to her. She ignored him for a rough minute and when he still didn’t move away, Na bi took it and set on the counter beside her without another word. Changkyun continued to look at her impassively until he didn’t anymore, reaching for his own glass, downing the drink in one go and muttering a small ‘thanks Mrs. Lee’ before walking away. It was only when she heard the sound of the main door close that she relaxed. 

“Did you two fight?” Mrs. Lee peered at her curiously. 

“What makes you think so?” 

Mrs. Lee placed her hands on her hips. “You weren’t talking to him.” 

“I’m not interested in talking to him.” Na bi mumbled, tracing the rim of the glass with her finger. “It’s not like anything worthwhile comes out of his mouth.” 

Mrs. Lee gave a heavy pause before she sighed. 

“He really does look out for you, you know?” Na bi looked up at the housekeeper's concerned face. “To be cared for by a man like him, it’s truly fortunate.” 

Na bi scoffed. “I find it hard to believe that a man like him is even capable of caring.” She picked up the glass, wincing at its cold exterior. “How can someone who is engaged in the kind of business he does even fathom basic human emotions?” 

Mrs. Lee shook her head like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Na bi’s eyes followed her as the older woman slipped off her apron and poured herself a glass of juice. 

“Do you know I have a son Na bi?” Mrs. Lee confessed suddenly, taking Na bi aback. “I don’t live with him, I haven’t in almost 12 years. Do you know why?” 

Na bi shook her head slowly. 

“Because the love I saw in this house…it was like none other.” Leaning back against the counter, Mrs. Lee stared off at a distance. “Do you even know what love is like at its purest and rawest? Have you ever seen a love that’s so deep, it physically hurts to be away from them? The kind of love where your soul desperately craves for another’s presence? Where you’re ready to burn the world or be burned if it means protecting them?” Eyes moist, Mrs. Lee looked at her. “That’s the kind of love Changkyun had and that’s the kind of love he has to give.” 

Na bi recalled Mrs. Lee mentioning her mistress. Something painfully clenched in her chest. 

“In the 30 years I’ve worked here, I saw the most beautiful kind of love in this family. Master’s love for his sisters. His father’s love for his mother. The parents’ love for their children - I’ve never seen anything like what this family shared. That’s why when he was the only one left, even if it meant putting aside everything that was dear to me, I could not bear to leave him alone.” 

Lips parting in realization, Na bi remembered Changkyun telling her about the scar on his eyebrow. About how he got it when his family was killed. 

“I try but I don’t think I can ever fill the void he’s been living with. I’ve seen him hanging on to the smallest testaments of the past just to feel that love once again. Using the lighter that belonged to his father, carrying that revolver which hasn’t worked in years only because his sisters gifted it to him. Sometimes I find him just sitting in his mother’s room, staring at her thing things, wiping the dust off them-” 

“His mother’s room?” Na bi interrupted, mind backtracking. “Do… do you mean the one upstairs?” 

Mrs. Lee nodded. 

“You mean to say that…” Na bi shook her head in confusion. “That room is his mother’s? Those dresses were his mother’s, the person you referred to as mistress is…. His mother?” 

Mrs. Lee nodded again like it was obvious. 

“And all this while I thought….I thought you meant an old lover or…” 

“Lover?” Mrs. Lee scoffed. “The only woman Changkyun ever loved is his mother.” Na bi let out a deep breath as the older lady smiled at her sadly. “Her name was Na bi too.” 

Next Chapter

[flowerlaundry]

I managed to rank 39 for The Temptation of Apoptosis event! 😭 also yes, I am a Shiramitsu twins and Nagi oshi...

It was my first time seriously tiering for any event so I figured I'd talk about my experience...

a grueling 10 days and i can say…i’m pretty happy with what i achieved!!! Watch me do it again!

Frankly, i have only intended to grab 1 Toi and max Ryui out…but i ended up maxing then both 🫨

it’s not my first time tiering in events (i got SIF and Enstars under my belt…) but it’s my first time seriously aiming for a high tier and I'm super happy that it was for something i was really anticipating ever since i got into 18TRIP (over half a year ago now?!) 

The end of November was not good to me at all (for a variety of reasons that I won't delve into) so when I saw the announcement that the L4mps feature was happening at the beginning of December, I had my eyes peeled. I told myself I'd work hard for the L4mps event (especially since they’re my favourite unit and 3 of my faves are in it). i was seriously thinking it’d be a Yodaka-Toi event but i was bamboozled…seeing the words Aomori set off my fight or flight response. IT WAS A SHIRAMITSU TWINS EVENT?? Was this god’s reward for me for enduring another ass November?  I seriously was not expecting for them to go to Aomori this soon after seeing Ryui get cucked in the main story 😭 it felt like D-day…

Initially i did 30 pulls on the gacha, but the greed got to me. i wanted to max out Kinari so i did more pulls on the first day of the event and… ahh, orange head Akuta came 😊 i figured since i was close to pity, I'd might as well continue and i…ended up with 2 more Akutas on the 100th pull. maybe it was an omen.. I was ready with my 130% bonus (isn’t that insane..)

At the time I didn't realize how beneficial the fast boost pass was so i was hard at work doing the Yukikaze 4AP town stage and I'd do the event stage every 100 tickets I got…the grind is so painful. After 8 grueling hours, i got my first Toi!

i really was not planning for a day 1 rush but i was motivated- nein, influenced by other day 1 grinders so i pushed myself 😭

There was a bug where Toi and Ryui ended up using the other's emblem for the trip-revo thing, I wish it was intentional though...

i seriously did not think I'd be able to do it considering the last time i went for more than 1 mil was the l4mps seasonal (which was funnily enough, Ryui-focused and i was rushing at the end, thank you very much!)  but I did it! 

Now truthfully I could have just taken my time for the rest of the event…but the ego i got from breaking into the top 40s got to me. i’d initially planned to stay within the top 1000 but seeing my rank at the time encouraged me…what if i could stay in the top 100? i was determined. well, actually greed got me. i might just be a greedy person..

Fortunately I have quite a lot of downtime at work and I spend a lot of it at a desk (my coworkers are usually the ones doing the heavy lifting), which makes spamming the game easy. People don’t realize how great these types of simulation games are for the working society class…I don't have time nor energy to continuously tap the screen in tune to the beat…i’ve grown past that stage of my life (<- is not that old)…

Now at this point, I bought the fast pass boost to see how it works and. well, i should’ve bought it at the beginning of the event 😭 my lord it makes the grind easier, highly recommend it if you aim to get all rewards or tier in events.

you can see me get hit with the realization here lmao

I took a small break to read through the event (using whatever tools I had, a struggle..) 😭 i nearly died and was in agony and thought i’d be late for work (I was kinda early actually). I’ll need to reread it properly, I have many thoughts about it.

i managed to max Toi on day 6! i felt like i could’ve shed actual tears.. but i didn’t because I was working haha…I had Falling into Eternity on loop to aid me in my tiering woes.. I'm very excited for the full version (during Christmas too? omg…) I decided to slow down a bit for the following two days and it seems like the others around me also had the same thought, but the tiering urges got to me… this tiering shit is too serious.

I can't exactly remember how many points I'd allocated each day, but it was probably around 2-3 million points per day? It was a constant refresh-AP-and-spend-10AP-on-the-YKKZ-event-stage cycle, thank you fast pass <3

Speaking of things that are too serious...the time bonus feels like it's nearly impossible because this was literally the best I could do 😭

Anyway, the last time i tiered for anything was for the EP:Link Eichi in 2019, the final ! event…which was 5 years ago omg. At the time I had just started uni with only an allowance to work with, so I was pretty limited in what I could do. Now as a working full-time adult, it feels like the possibilities are endless…! It’s still important to budget oneself…!

Throughout the week I had maintained t40 and I wanted to keep it that way. A particular reason why i wanted to stay at T40 was because i like the evenness of tens, but maybe it’s also because i was the 40th person to get a maxed Toi. Feeling a bit sentimental lmfao… I also considered rank 42 for the so-called ‘meaning of life’ or 44…because four is death in east asian culture (i’m so sorry toi…) but somehow at the last second, i managed to get T39?! just barely at the edge of T30…I'm honestly still so shocked… I was just slightly bummed it wasn’t an even number (oi!) but then I remembered the queen…the diva herself— Hatsune Miku and how 39 can be read as sankyuu (thank you) so now I'm not bummed out! 🙏 

I’ve read the note from the #1 ranker of the event and I feel like I learned quite a bit! Even with just using google translate, you can get a good grasp of what they did for the event so I highly recommend taking a look if you ever plan on tiering for another feature event! (Ev3ns in winter is too soon..!)

From the note, they mentioned saving their tickets until the last hour before splurging them all. I personally used up my tickets whenever I got 100 (sometimes 200) so maybe this is actually a viable method.. I also hadn’t considered playstyles in 18TRIP but the more I think about it, the more I see it… I’m impatient though so maybe saving my tickets might not be the best route for me. They also mentioned how they ended up being unable to spend their last 60 tickets in the end so maybe splurging tickets 2 hours before end might be a good route, I also struggled to use up my remaining AP and tickets (but I did it…somehow!)

Tiering...is kinda like a strategic game, isn't it? You have to analyze your opponents and how they react/play and act accordingly. They mentioned how they could take it easy since their opponents weren't really moving during the weekdays. I fear this won't be possible for some of the more popular characters...

Now the actual amount I spent…I don’t want to think about it. I had to look through my records and I spent approximately 60k yen for this event. Honestly, if you only wanted one copy, you can easily halve this amount as long as you have some dias in reserve. The 10k bento pack is like…the most worth it pack alongside the beginners pack (if you haven’t already bought it). I personally bought the 10k bento pack, my 2 remaining beginner’s packs and 3 of the normal 10k packs…so I see where it starts adding up ahaha. Remember to spend responsibly!

I didn't actually lose any sleep while tiering. I'm a person who prioritizes resting after all + I do need to get up early on occasion for work...I think it helps I'm only an hour behind from Japan, which means my overall schedule would sync up to theirs in a way.

Despite the pain and agony I felt (in more ways than one), I'm most definitely going to try doing something similar once a Ryui feature event drops...I just hope it's not too soon lol. As much as I'd like to do it for Nagi...I can feel the bloodbath so maybe a T1000 is more viable for me...

As much as I'd like my wallet to hibernate, the next gacha is Nagi and I had to spark his Bday SSR💔 hopefully he's nicer to me this time around...but afterwards, I WILL hibernate until next time.

Until next time... 🤞Sanpachi Kamikita Nice Trip!🤞

[faofinn]

9. White Coat Syndrome

Holidays were a rare treat for the Cunningham-Cole crew. Both Taidgh and Harrisons jobs were difficult for raising a family, but they refused to let it get in the way. Each day out was precious, even a few hours at the park, a walk to feed the ducks, the tiny things that meant the world to both dads.

With the kids old enough to actually be a contender in races, Harrison often brought his running blade to join in - he wasn’t going to let Tai have the fun. So that's where they found themselves on a warm Sunday morning, charging around the park like idiots. They'd planned to stay the day, picnic packed and ready. Levi was old enough to join in, though he didn't always undenal the rules of whichever game they were playing, occasionally ending up in tears. 

Frisbee was easy enough, so they eventually moved onto that. The park was quiet enough, though the hum of other families laughter carried across the air.  Even Harrison's laughs carried across, Alfie having his life and loving it. Scout was just as bad as them, haring around the park and herding his family. 

Tai loved their weekend days out, when the whole family could mess around together. It was a warm day, the sun shining over the grass. The kids were rowdy, on their last few weeks of school holidays, and it had been good to get out of the house. He’d been haring about with them that morning, trying to catch up with the kids, but his knee had twinged and he’d ended up sat on the picnic blanket watching them play Frisbee, Scout rushing madly between them as he tried to catch it mid-air. He let them play for a while, before his stomach growled at him and he couldn’t ignore the food he was sat next to any longer. 

“Hars! Kids! Come on, lunch! I’m starving to death over here!” He called. 

They raced over, Scout leading the way with his bounding strides. The boys were close behind, but Harrison lagged slightly, his own leg starting to ache.

Harrison settled by Tai, wrapping an arm around his waist as he pressed a kiss to his cheek, the pair like lovesick teenagers. Of course, the kids made their displeasure known, a quiet chorus of gross as they laughed. 

Tai leaned into Hars, grinning at the kids. “You’ll get it when you’re older.”

"Ew, no! It's gross!" Kieran laughed, his nose scrunched. 

“You’ll get a kiss too, if you’re not careful!” Tai teased, reaching out for him. 

"No! Alfie, help!" Kieran wriggled away, shouting and laughing. 

“I’ll get you both!” Tai said, as Alfie piled in, and Scout tried to join in too, barking and hopping excitedly. 

Harrison sat back with a smile, looking proudly on at the chaos he'd created. He grabbed a sandwich while the others were distracted, sneaking Levi a piece of cheese his youngest had been eyeing up. 

Eventually the chaos died down, the twins and Tai flopping back on the blanket breathless and grinning. He reached for the food, grabbing a sandwich. 

As the kids dug in, Harrison nudged Tai's thigh. "Hey."

“Hey, you okay?”

"More worried about you. I saw you twist it."

“Just a little twinge, I just didn’t want to do any more damage to it."

Harrison rubbed his thigh. "Are you in pain?"

“Not now I’m sat down.”

"Are you sure?"

“Yeah, it’s not bad. I just didn’t want to be haring around on it and making it all swollen. If they don’t do this op tomorrow I’m going to have a breakdown.”

Harrison hummed, fingers trailing over skin. "Yeah, I know."

“Are you sure work are okay with your time off?”

"As if I'd give them a choice."

“And Steve’s okay with having the kids?”

"He's looking forward to it."

“Mm, okay.” He said, and kissed his cheek again.

Harrison reached a hand to cup his cheek, tilting his face up to kiss him properly. His thumb stroked his cheek as he pulled back. "It's going to be okay. I love you."

Tai smiled. “Love you too.”

He quickly pressed a kiss to Tai's nose before moving to lean against him and reaching for his can of pop. "You know I'll be there for you, whatever you need."

“Pass me another sandwich?” He asked cheekily. 

"What's the magic word?" He teased, dangling it out of reach. 

“Mm, please?”

Harrison grinned. "Nope."

“Hey!”

"You gotta say the magic word!"

“Please is the magic word!”

"Nope!"

“Come on!” He whined, kissing him on the cheek again.

Harrison's resolve cracked. "It's a good job I love you."

“And I love you too.”

Their day was heaven, a picnic in the warmth followed by more stupid games after they’d eaten. Eventually, though, they headed home, all of them just completely shattered. It was a job to corral sleepy kids to bed, Tai and Hars exhausted themselves. Scout had spent the evening sprawled out asleep on the rug in the living room, looking like they felt. 

Even Tai and Hars had headed to bed early that night, aware they were up early the next morning. They fell asleep with Tai’s head resting on Harrison’s shoulder, warm and comfortable. When their alarm went off the next morning, Tai just snuggled up against him, refusing to move. 

He was eventually coaxed out of bed and got dressed, enjoying the last glass of water he was allowed. Steve arrived to look after the boys, and after some hugs and fuss, the pair of them headed to the hospital. It was weird, driving their familiar commute for something other than work. 

Harrison knew Tai was stressed. He could feel it a mile away. Of course, he was worried too, not just for the operation, but his recovery and everything that came with it. The operation itself was rubbing a little too close to home for Harrison, having had so many himself. It was the right leg, too, which only stirred up more emotions for him. He shook his head to clear his mind, taking Tai's hand as they headed in. 

Tai squeezed his hand gratefully, heading through the doors into the day surgery unit. It was unfamiliar, which was both good and bad, but he signed in at the desk and then it was a waiting game, his left leg bouncing anxiously. 

"You've got your bag, you've got stuff for after, some juice and some throat sweets." Harrison murmured, mainly to himself. "And you've got your sweets for emergencies, and I put an extra juice box in for you, too. I've got the insulin and I'll give it to the nurses when we get there."

Tai glanced over at him. “What would I do without you?”

"Probably be a lot less stressed." He admitted with a laugh. 

“A lot more stressed, more like.” 

"Mm, maybe."

“Got you to look after me.”

"I'll always look after you."

“Yeah.” Tai said, moving to rest his head on his shoulder. 

"Sickness and in health. All that bullshit." He pressed a kiss to his hair. "And anyway, we've got the kids. I can't manage them alone."

“You could.”

"I wouldn't."

“I hope they’re okay with Steve.”

"I think it's the other way round." Harrison managed to joke. "I think dad's gonna regret offering."

“Probably, they’re nightmares.”

"I can't even stand up for them. I know I should." He said sagely, trying to keep a straight face.

“They’re feral, but hopefully yesterday tired them out enough.”

"I hope so. Scout was bloody knackered, bless him."

“Looked how I felt.” Tai agreed. It wasn’t long before they called him through, and he gripped Harrison’s hand as he stood. All he wanted was to go home, but that wasn’t possible. They asked him to change, and they’d be back for obs and things. He hesitated, looking at his fiancé. “Can I just sack this off and we just go home?”

"Don't be daft." He shook his head, though wanted nothing more than to do the same. "You need this sorted. Just think, this time tomorrow, all the operations and stuff will be done. And you'll only have the physio to do."

He pulled a face. “Even worse.”

"What, you're not looking forward to physio?" He feigned shock.

“Nobody looks forward to physio, knob.” He shot back.

"And after all the shit you gave me?"

“I’m allowed to give you shit, we’re getting married. Besides, I’m already doing physio.”

"Yeah, well, I'm doing a physio."

He snorted. “That’s a terrible joke. Can we go home? I don’t want to do this.”

"No, we can't." Harrison sighed. "And I'm not being a dick, but you need to take a few deep breaths, try and relax as much as you can. I can feel your anxiety from over here, and it's not gonna help you."

He forced himself to take a breath, his lips pressed tightly together. His shoulders slumped as he let it out, reaching for Harrison. “I hate hospitals.”

Harrison stood, moving to wrap his arms around his fiance. "I know, I know. I've got you."

He leaned into him, taking another deep breath and focusing on the smell of him, washing powder and aftershave and something that was just him. Some of the tension drained from his shoulders, his body softening against Harrison’s. 

"That's it, well done." He praised, kissing his forehead. "Another slow breath.'

He nodded. “Feel all sick and anxious.” He admitted. 

"I know, I know. It's fucking shit." He soothed. "But you'll get all the good drugs soon, get a nice little nap, and you'll wake up with your leg sorted."

“I’m such a baby, jesus.” 

Harrison couldn't help his smile. "I know it's the wrong time and all that, but I really love your accent."

“Piss off.” He grumbled good-naturedly. “It gets softer all the time, being stuck here with you.”

"We should go across, once you're better. I'm sure your mum would appreciate it."

“She would, it’s been too long since she’s seen the boys.”

"Tell you what, Christmas? Steve said he'd come too, we'll go over for the two weeks. Stay in a cottage, have Christmas there." He said, feeling Tai relax into him. 

“As if you’ll get two weeks of leave at Christmas.”

"Watch me."

“Only if you forge a sick note will you get that much time off. And don’t even think about it.” He teased. “I don’t even think I could get that much off, but maybe a few days before new years?”

"We'll manage it."

“What about going to Fao’s? Won’t you miss that?”

"You miss your family for mine."

“I love your family.”

"My point still stands."

“Mm, it would be nice to go back. You won’t understand a word.”

"Be nice for the kids to have the accent though." He smiled, glad Tai was relaxing more. "Be like mini yous."

“We’d need to move for them to have the accent, really. Right now they’re just gonna end up like Fao.” He joked. 

"Oh, I don't know which would be worse." He teased, his face falling as the door pushed open. 

Tai tensed, his jokes forgotten as the door creaked open. 

"Hi, Tai? Ah, excellent, you're all changed. I'm just gonna grab a few obs off you, and then we'll pop you through."

He nodded, swallowing thickly. “Okay.” He untangled himself from Hars, sitting down. 

Harrison mirrored his actions, sitting and fidgeting with a stray thread. The nurse was nice enough, but Harrison couldn't focus on their conversation, his eyes trained on the monitor. 

Tai did his best to try and relax, focusing on his breathing. He’d looked to Harrison, but he was just staring at the obs machine, and that didn’t help. He tried to think of something else, of the Christmas trip they’d been planning, but the stupid thing had sound and he could hear how fast his pulse was, the way the blood pressure cuff squeezed so tight his fingers tingled and he prayed it wouldn’t be ridiculously high. 

The nurse made a soft noise. “Oh, those are a bit on the high side, aren’t they?”

“I’m, uh, a really nervous patient. White Coat Syndrome and all that.” Was Harrison going to be pissed he was anxious again?

Harrison frowned at the obs, and stood up. He moved back to Tai's side, kissed his cheek and hopped on the bed next to him. He laced their fingers together, bringing their knuckles to his lips. 

"Deep breath together?" He said softly. "Make you feel better."

He nodded, forcing himself to take another deep breath with Harrison.

He kissed their knuckles. "And again? All the way down, from your head to your toes."

“Gonna make me go dizzy.” He grumbled, but did as he was told after a few moments, focusing on drawing the breath all the way to his feet. 

"Don't make yourself dizzy." Harrison murmured with a gentle laugh. "Defeats the point."

“I know.” His pulse had come down, and the nurse hummed. 

“I don’t suppose you do your blood pressure at home, do you?”

Tai nodded. “Yeah, they asked me to at pre-op, given my anxiety. Last one was 121/83.” 

“Oh, perfect.”

"He's the fittest person I know." Harrison said. "And I know I've gotta say that, but it's true."

“Well, I’ve not been so good recently, but I do my best trying to stay fit.”

Harrison stroked his thumb over the back of his hand. "You know, he even does the physio he's supposed to."

“Only because if I didn’t, I’d be the world’s biggest hypocrite. Practice what you preach and all that.”

The nurse laughed, leafing through the paperwork. "Ah, yeah, here we are. You've got your blood pressures for the week. Bless, you really are nervous, aren’t you?"

He nodded. “Really nervous. I’m awful, I hate needles and I’m not overly fond of hospitals as a patient.”

"I don't blame you, not one bit. They're not nice to be in." He smiled. "Unfortunately though, we will have to put a little needle in when we go through."

“Yeah, I know.” He said. “I’d rather that than no anaesthetic, but I’m not a fan.”

Harrison huffed a laugh. "Hey, maybe they can get you a sticker for being such a brave boy? Finn did it to me for my last one."

“Oh, piss off.”

"I'm not even joking. He found a little cat one, and I woke up with paed tape on my cannula and a "good boy" cat sticker stuck to me." He laughed. "Ely was in on it, I swear. So was Fao."

“I don’t remember that.” He said softly. 

"Oh, I shouldn't have said anything. I've ruined my surprise."

“Arse.”

He kissed his cheek. "I know."

The nurse smiled at the pair. "Your heart rate has come right down to normal now."

“He usually makes it go up.”

Harrison blushed immediately, his ears tipped red. "Tai."

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant you’re always stressing me out!”

The nurse laughed again. "Right, before Harrison here melts, why don't we get you through? The sooner you go down, the sooner you can be in recovery."

Tai couldn’t help the anxiety that shot through him. “Already? Thought I’d have to wait longer.”

"You're top of the list. We'll pop you through to the room and the anaesthetists are waiting for you to have a quick chat and then they'll take you down."

He nodded. “And Hars can stay?”

"For now, yeah."

"I've already spoken to them." Harrison said quickly. "They know."

“Okay then.”

Harrison squeezed Tai's hand. "We've got this. You’ve got this."

[lee-hakhyun]

595, 596, 597

yoo joonghyuk you asshole

here's my summary and thoughts on the first half of episode 9, 'Words that Can't Be Written'!

595. Words that Can't Be Written (1)

so. lee hakhyun's in a terrible state, and he was pulled away by a thread of light

o..ouch....

right, so this is definitely yoo sangah so, kimcom is aware that's something is up, but it seems they can't help out? oh hakhyun,,

lee hakhyun wakes up to jhw and ksi calling his name, and when he looks down, his body is fine. his head is not fine, probably. when jhw leaves to get water for lhh, ksi and lds come over to ask lhh what happened.

it seems he doesn't remember what had just happened he confirms with everyone that

they weren't able to find jiyoon, but she's read orv a lot. i'm sure she's still alive somewhere. but there's another question

are they really dead? did any of them end up in the underworld? are they just.. gone?

ye hyunwoo comes up and greets hakhyun then, and lhh belatedly notices people are moving around and preparing for something

emergency defense? this was happening earlier than in orv, and it wasn't planned. how did all the green zones get destroyed so quickly? ...there's only one answer to that. lhh had too much faith in yjh

god damn it, joonghyuk lee jihye goes to the stairs to watch. it's too late to persuade her to help now, but it seems ye hyunwoo has prepared everyone beforehand

to make it clear, the '7 apostles' is an orv fan club but it's led by 7 'apostles', one of which is killer king lhh again noticing the differences between this turn and kdj's turn

jung heewon. i love you. in every turn, she wants to protect,,,

orv isn't over yet. there are still stories to be told 'he couldn't even do that properly' holy shit hakhyun give kdj a break LMAO

with ye hyunwoo and gong pildu leading chungmuro station, the emergency game starts

this is concerning. she's not here to help the readers and it seems han sooyoung is planning on killing yjh. yoohan♡

596. Words that Can't Be Written (2)

gong pildu uses [armed zone], and his turrets take out waves of ground rats, but more continue to rush in. people fight, and people die.

lhh and ksi talk while they fight. i can see how sein didn't see the scenarios as fully real,, this is like both the most unbelievable yet believable thing ever. it's orv, who hasn't thought about what would happen if the scenarios started? but it's a whole different thing if it actually happened. there would be some separation from reality

yeah.. this could mean something going to write your own story, hakhyun?

the stuggle continues, and grolls start to emerge along with the ground rats. grolls are 8th grade monsters, and take a lot more to kill than a ground rat eventually, gong pildu needs to reload, and hakhyun's party steps up to cover the gap they manage to survive that long, but gong pildu was getting tired. kim dokja had given him a ton of potions, but hakhyun.. well, he's about to, but gong pildu calls hyunwoo

HE WENT ALL IN ON MAGIC POWER. THIS INSANE KID i commend him for being so attached to a character he'd base his whole strategy around them. the 'tech tree' that hyunwoo had been talking about all this time was for this. he's putting everything into surviving with gong pildu

good for him! the constellations took notice too (i don't know if i've mentioned this before, but pay attention to the constellation who hasn't revealed a modifier. he keeps showing up with,, interesting messages.)

but, someone says the words.

don't know if i talked about this before, but the last time someone said things were going 'smoothly', things did NOT go well. a screenshot from chapter 558

if you find yourself in the scenarios, do not say smoothly ^^

so, there are phases now, and a giant 7th grade monster appeared. the pildu and hyunwoo combo can not deal with this. but there's someone who can.

hakhyun has his own tech tree! well, not really, but it's close enough

another mention of hakhyun writing side stories speaking of the side stories;

597. Words that Can't Be Written (3)

lhh got that notification, but he's kind of in the middle of a battle. can't really check his phone right now. let's put that aside for now

jung heewon! with her new attribute, 'judge of demons', she's able to deal with a monster at this point only yoo joonghyuk would be able to kill.

oh!! she learnt a skill on her own!! jung heewon!!! catching the interest of the constellations too jhw against an imaginary yjh.. getting thrown off a bridge would do that to you jhw was really strong in the main story also,, lhh wonders if she'll be able to match yoo joonghyuk this time

there's the chapters, and the one we're reading right now i previously posted screenshots on this, but he uses the comment passes and gets very short comments. this pisses him off. with 2 passes left, a new option appears

pay coins to read top rated comments! coins really are everything the comment may be referring to hsy's plan for yjh? of course, lhh has no idea about that, and thinks that obviously nobody can deal with yjh he uses his final pass, and,

uh oh. but everything's going smoothly?

oh.

the comments are still increasing. lee hakhyun thinks, are the stories of the 'extras' written?

i'll come back to this in a later chapter.

lee jihye is a main character, not an extra. she wouldn't die. neither would jung heewon. but what about cheon inho? lhh hands jhw to ljh, who takes it in confusion. and then lhh starts walking forward.

i don't know how i feel about him relying on his skill to tell if he'll live or die. i believe in him, but this also doesn't feel good but go hakhyun!! write something good! you wouldn't go too far, would you?

[creoterative]

Let's Play a Game then - Chapter V

Feckin' Finally.

I thought I'd never finish this, but here I am xD

I finally got a new chapter for my Marlon Redemption Arc, Let's Play a Game then, available on AO3!

As always, a little preview for you, but if you wanna read the whole thing, hop over to my AO3 page, if you'd like ;)

The night hadn't been particularly long, but thanks to Louis' good coaxing, what was left of it had turned into a dreamless, relaxing round of sleep. The thick down comforter draped over his exhausted body while the icy winter air outside tried to make its way into the room, along with an old, softly creaking mattress that brought back many memories. Before Marlon had fallen asleep, a few of these memories had actually flashed through his mind. 

Moments that he had long forgotten, but should never have forgotten. Because they reminded him of a time when he was on his way to becoming a better person. A time when he made friends, when for the first time he really felt as if people were looking at him and not just at the walls he had put up. Times that had been brought back to him because of the words of his best friend. 

He wished those times back. They had brought with them a carefreeness that he could use right now, but above all, he hadn't carried the burden of three dead and three kidnapped on his shoulders back then. Not to mention the whole thing with the twins and... Brody. 

Yes, if he could, he would take himself back to the time when his greatest enemy was the slug in the school playground that he had accidentally stepped in. But those days would never come back, never again. 

Louis had shown him, however, that there were ways to reconstruct them at least a little. And Clementine had promised him - everything would be all right. Even if Marlon was not of the same opinion - he had experienced too many disappointments for that - he wanted to believe her. 

So after a while, he finally got back to sleep and only woke up when the first rays of sunshine began to tickle his nose. Blinking slowly, the blond boy opened his eyes, feeling a slight stinging sensation as they were still sticky from sleep. He wanted to lift a hand to rub the grains of sand out of his eyes, but neither one hand nor the other was able to move. 

Confused, he looked down at himself and realized that something heavy had settled on his hip, and therefore also on his arm. "Rosie...?" The brown dog raised his head a little at the mention of her name and began to wag his tail happily. When on earth had she come into the room? Not that he was complaining, quite the opposite. 

With a small smile, he pulled his arm out from under her chin, rubbed his eyes with his hand and then placed his arm around Rosie's neck. She rested her head back on his hip and closed her eyes while Marlon lay back down as well. However she had come in without waking Louis, because he was a lighter sleeper than Marlon, it didn't matter. She was here now and that made the new morning a lot better.

If he was honest, he didn't really want to get up. Yes, there were things to do - for example, the preparations for the rescue operation that Marlon was secretly dreading. But not a single child had slept properly in the last few days. In fact, none of them had slept at all yesterday. And if they arrived at the boat completely exhausted, they would be caught immediately. They weren't allowed to rush in there without a plan anyway. 

Marlon breathed in and out deeply, causing Rosie's head to rise and fall a little. She blinked briefly and ran her tongue over his side, which made him grin. "Don't, it tickles." She understood and closed her eyes again before Marlon started scratching her behind the ears. Good thing she'd been able to clean herself up at the river yesterday. They had both looked like death itself and even if Marlon would have thought that was cool under normal circumstances, these weren't normal circumstances.

Then he heard something rustling next to him and raised his eyes slightly until he could recognize Louis, who was stretching out lying down and humming softly. "Aaahhh.... Morning..." "Morning. How are you?" "If I ignore the things that are constantly trying to spoil my mood, then I'm actually doing great. And you? How's your shoulder?" 

The boy's brown eyes focused on Marlon's injury, which the blond looked at suspiciously for a moment. "Hm... It hurts, but it's not so red anymore," he remarked after lifting the bandage a little, which didn't satisfy Louis. "You're going straight to Ruby, you hear?" "Yes, yes, on my way." Marlon grumbled and stroked Rosie's back with his hand, which she enjoyed with her tongue hanging out relaxed. 

"I think the cold water did me some good. Plus the air from tonight. Don't worry Lou, it'll heal up." Louis seemed to really want to believe it, but Marlon could see the worry in his eyes. So he thought about how he could calm his best friend down a little and let his gaze wander around the room. 

He hadn't been in this room for so long. Not because anything had stopped him, but because there had simply been no reason to come here again. Louis had hung up a few pictures of Tennessee during the time they had slept apart, but otherwise everything had stayed the same.

The wardrobe now had a dent, okay. But the old, rancid carpet was still the same. There were the same curtains, the same chairs, the same old desk. The same lamps that no longer worked, the same hat stand, whatever it was for, and not forgetting the same stain on the wallpaper from the day Louis had found a water pistol. 

As Marlon let his gaze wander, he remembered quite a few things that had happened in this room. But the one that immediately came to mind was the day Marlon had first set foot on the floor of this school. Boy, had he been scared. Of course, he hadn't shown it openly, preferring to overshadow that fear with aggression. But Louis had approached him. He hadn't been impressed by the outer façade. 

"Hey. Remember when we used to build caves out of mattresses and comforters?" The thought of the crazy activities from before, when it was easier, made Louis put his arms under his head and settle back down on the bed, as if he wanted to fully indulge in those memories. "Of course I remember. We used to steal candy from Ms. Maddie and hide it as treasure in the cave. You always wanted to be a dragon." "And you a knight." "Mmm. Even had a wooden sword. Until Justin broke it."

At that, Louis turned his head to Marlon and began to grin broadly. "I remember you kicking his ass after that. You should have seen yourself, you went at the poor guy like a fucking lion." The left corner of Marlon's mouth twitched slightly and he turned his blue eyes on his friend. "Well, I guess he deserved that. Idiot, first he bursts in and interferes in our game without being asked, then he breaks your sword. I could have wringed his neck." "Yep, that's why Mr. Wróbel made you do the punishment work."

Marlon had never understood that. Why hadn't Justin been punished, that scumbag? "I never liked him anyway." "Oh, believe me, we know that. It was more than obvious." That made Marlon a little skeptical. Really? Had it been that obvious? Well, when he thought about it, Marlon had never really made an effort to hide his dislike of Justin. The guy had always tried to outdo him, no matter what, and he would have loved to tear him to pieces in his first year. 

Then Justin had died. And you really wouldn't wish that kind of death on anyone you cared about in the slightest. 

Louis sighed softly and stretched once more before his shoulders cracked slightly. "Damn, I'm getting old too." "Well, soon you'll be in your golden twenties too, my friend." Marlon sat up slowly, though he grimaced slightly as his shoulder began to ache again. Rosie slipped from his side and crawled to the edge of the bed, from where she let herself slide to the floor. 

Finally, she started scratching at the door and Marlon got up to open it for her. Just as he pushed the door handle down, he felt a pressure from the other side and as he was about to let Rosie out, he saw Ruby standing outside the boys' room with a small red suitcase in her hand. She had one hand raised, as she had wanted to knock and enter, while her sapphire blue eyes were fixed on Marlon as if she had seen a ghost. 

Rosie greeted her old friend with a soft bark before pushing past her to do what old dog ladies do when it's still early in the morning. Marlon hadn't been expecting the visit, but managed a smile. "Hey Ruby. Is everything all right?" 

The red-haired girl from the south dropped her arm again and forced herself to look a little friendlier. "Well, aside from the obvious... I think I'll need a good night's sleep once this is over." The bags under her eyes were clearly visible now, which was no wonder since she'd been checking for wounds and protecting Brody. 

Marlon stepped aside so Ruby could get into the room, where Louis was already there to greet her. "Hey Rubes." "Hey Lou. You both look like you've hardly slept." "We haven't really." Marlon said, leaning his healthy shoulder against the doorframe. Louis glanced at him before looking him over and then taking the blue sweater that was lying on the desk. "You idiot didn't put this on again!" 

Marlon caught the item of clothing with one hand and looked down at himself. "Seriously, am I so ugly that you want to cover me up every chance you get?" Louis stuck his tongue out at him playfully, which Marlon responded to by giving him the middle finger with a big grin. 

Ruby, however, just rolled her eyes and put the suitcase down on the desk. "Honestly, you can leave the sweater off for now." "You see! There are people who think I'm great without a top!" However, this earned him a reproving look from Ruby. "Well, firstly, I don't think you're great without a shirt. Secondly, you'll have to leave your sweater off if you want me to take care of your wound. And thirdly... I don't think anyone wants to see that."

Outraged, Marlon looked down at himself, then at Louis. "Really?" "Nah, bro, I can do without acne." The older of the two slumped his shoulders and drew his eyebrows together. "Oh come on, I can't help it!" "Sit down here." 

Ruby pointed to his bed, whereupon Marlon settled down. And when Ruby slowly and carefully removed his bandage, all thoughts of a possible modeling career were forgotten. He narrowed his eyes to slits, trying not to allow too much pain, but that was difficult with the irritated wound. 

"Jesus Christ, what the... Marlon, it looks like you've had three wasps' nests stuck in your shoulder!" "It feels a bit like that to be honest, now that the bandage is off..." "Did you put the ointment on it that I gave you?" "...." "I thought so." 

She pulled off the bandage, which was already badly discolored, and threw it in the trash can near the desk. Then she looked at the wound again. There were still a few stitches in it to allow it to close completely, but the swelling meant it was almost done. Ruby put a hand on Marlon's shoulder, then on his forehead. "You don't have a fever yet, but the wound is way too hot." 

Great, and what did that mean? "Have you been feeling sick lately?" Marlon bit his tongue at the question and avoided her gaze. "Last night, yes..." "...How bad?" "I almost threw up. But I had a nightmare, I thought it might be because of that." "It can't be ruled out, but if a wound is infected, it can also cause nausea, as well as fever and chills." "Well, he doesn't have chills, otherwise he wouldn't be running around shirtless all the time." 

Louis was joking, but his concern was clear to see as he tried to get a picture of the wound. "Will you be able to fix it, Ruby?" "That depends entirely on him," she replied, looking Marlon straight in the eye. "It's still only a slight infection. Redness around the wound, swelling, warm skin, no bad smell yet and no fever. That means there is still a chance that it will heal on its own. But if you don't take it easy and end up developing a fever or the wound starts to fester, then we'll have a problem." 

Marlon looked at his shoulder for a moment and then nodded curtly. Antibiotics were long out. So that meant he really had to take it easy or he could die. If the infection got worse and spread, it would mean a very agonizing and protracted death for him. 

Ruby took a cotton ball and some disinfectant, which she used to clean the wound, causing Marlon to wince and draw in a sharp breath. "I think we can take the stitches out, but-" "No way." He knew that it was probably better to remove all foreign bodies from the wound, but he could do without any more pain right now.

"It's my body, so we'll leave the stitches in. Just to be on the safe side." Marlon stroked two fingers along the stitching and gritted his teeth as the burn got a little stronger. Yes, he would like to delay that a little longer, if it was possible. 

Ruby shrugged her shoulders and pushed his hand away to clean the wound a little more. Then she fetched a new bandage from the box and wrapped it around his shoulder and chest after securing a soft covering over the wound. Finally the bandage was in place and Marlon had to admit that he now felt much better. The feeling of a fresh bandage and the smell of disinfectant made him feel clean and his worries about inflammation faded somewhat. 

Ruby's look, however, was a little... unsettling. She avoided his questioning eyes and the corners of her mouth turned downwards, which only changed briefly when he thanked her. "Thank you. I'll be all right. I'm not dead yet and without your help I would have been in the ground long ago." 

The girl with the red hair seemed a little more content, but there was still an aura of guilt surrounding her, which made Marlon tilt his head in surprise. "Are you okay?" Ruby nodded curtly as she closed the box. "Yeah, it's all right. I just should have checked the wound sooner. And it really would be better to take the stitches out, Marlon. Every foreign body less makes for better healing." 

Marlon sighed softly and put a hand over the wound as if to protect it from Ruby's intervention. "I know, just... Can we do this tonight? I'm sure it's going to hurt." "If you act like a child, yes, it will hurt." "Urgh... Well, then go ahead." 

There was silence in the room for a moment and neither of them knew what to say. Until Ruby reached for the tweezers in the case and looked at the former leader with a soft sigh. Her face showed a mixture of sternness and pity, which made him feel a little uncomfortable. 

"I'm sorry I chased you out like that yesterday. I... I'm just worried about Brody. She's back on her feet and we've all talked to her, but I don't think she'll be back to her old self until you two have a talk." That sounded bad. Very bad. Why couldn't Brody just carry on as before? After all, Marlon had been the one who had silenced her. Why did she let her fear eat away at her like that? 

The moment these thoughts crossed his mind, Marlon felt incredibly bad and avoided Ruby's gaze. Questions like that were just stupid. He might as well ask why they had all come to this school for troubled children in the first place. Why are you the way you are? A difficult question to answer when you had no idea yourself. 

Besides, there was a reason why Brody couldn't just carry on as he had before the incident. He was the reason. He had seen it yesterday, she was afraid of him. Surely she was afraid of the moment when they happened to be alone and he got the chance to take revenge on her. He felt no desire for revenge as far as Brody was concerned, no, quite the opposite. It hurt him that she was so afraid, but if he was honest, he had only himself to blame. 

Marlon ran his fingers through his blond hair and slumped his shoulders. "I'll talk to her as soon as I get a chance. She.... She didn't seem like it would be a good idea for me to do this alone yesterday, though." "You're not going to talk to her alone either. We'll be there." Louis gave his friend an encouraging smile and nudged Marlon's healthy shoulder with his fist. "You'll manage. It won't be like before, but we all know Brody deserves more than an apology. I suggest you just treat her like a princess from now on to get your karma account back on track a bit. Okay?"

"Mhm, totally easy." Marlon grumbled and shook his head dismissively. "I just have to think carefully about what I say to her. A simple apology won't be enough, I don't want it to be enough because... that just wouldn't be right. Not after all this. But... What else can I tell her?" Looking for help, he lifted his eyes from the floor and looked back and forth between Louis and Ruby. 

Both looked first at each other, then at Marlon. A moment that clearly showed how difficult things were for him, because there was obviously no real solution to his problem. Or he was simply too blind to see it.

No answer was also an answer. Admitting defeat, he lowered his head slightly and Ruby took out a pair of scissors to cut the first thread. "This is going to hurt, but pull yourself together and don't scream all over the house, will you?" "I'll do my best." She cut the first thread and slowly and carefully pulled the foreign body out of his skin with the tweezers. It was an extremely unpleasant procedure and Marlon couldn't avoid clawing his fingers into the sheets while he gritted his teeth.

[hamofjustice]

whoever wrote this is my friend at game freak. about 2500 new lines of dialogue celebrating these characters in the way you'd expect the plot drivers and supporting roles of the story to be celebrated (albeit i wish more the former and less the latter), if the game that the writer(s) were stuck writing for actually got to be about those characters and hanging out with them the whole way through. it's a - pardon me for saying so - real treasure.

that being said...

i don't think pokemon, my former chief interest, is a series for me anymore, unless we get a permanent traveling party in the next one. i'm looking for games that are less... lonely all the time? that don't set up expectations they'll never meet because they don't have time? whose fans and leadership don't both openly hate story and companionship (and also women) unless those companions can't talk? i've changed, pokemon's not changing with me. and this console generation in particular has been egregious about not caring about making customers happy as long as they buy shit because of the brand on it.

but stuff like this league club or the epilogue is at least good enough closure for me on my unusual investment into this also unusually heartfelt generation. i'm no longer so pissed off that i'd just stop posting about these characters altogether. in the end, they weren't completely forgotten about... but why were they forgotten about at all? they were the main characters of the story, not us. forcing our character into making bad decisions isn't going to change that.

man, what could've been.

between this and the aforementioned epilogue (that has no reason to not be available day one tbh) i can see a ton of evidence that stuff got changed or cut against their wishes, or at least compared to the original plan. and that's gonna keep happening as long as pokemon keeps up this sloppy, rushed, "who cares if it's good, they'll buy it because it's pokemon" business model with far too many places, characters, and monsters and far too little time spent lovingly with each one, that keeps them feeling stuck generations behind other $60-95 games... and hollower and lonelier than the rich warm hearts of $5 indie games.

what i linked above, however, is the kind of thing i wanted from the DLC - just getting to sit back and enjoy being nemona penny and arven's friend like we did in area zero and watch them grow together - and it's an afterthought in a game that otherwise threw its characters and messages about friendship into the garbage and aggressively pretended they never existed (including the love story they just released a music video and book about!), that refused the most obvious slam dunk story climaxes (no 4v1 tera raid boss fight ever happens with other characters? given two different opportunities? that were both remixes of the raid music? really? really?) and cool returning features we saw coming a year ago and never actually got (seriously, you're getting outdone by sword and shield here), in favor of... a massive amount of grinding over four versions of the same song that makes doing things without paying for both your online subscription and pokemon home subscription unbearable. how playable is the endgame going to be when those things are gone?

they really don't think people are going to be upset that the main characters still have basically no new lines or mentions until the epilogue (that they don't even know exists) releases? that they're not going to be upset that kieran and carmine just despawned again with no clear way to bring them back after kieran asked if you could be friends again? (same thing, epilogue)

kinda seems like this DLC was made to piss off people who were emotionally invested and reward people who hated nemona as anything but a hentai model. it didn't even execute its own story properly! the beautiful mess of a base game just turned into the usual pokemon dumpster fire with the absolute bare minimum done for the trailer to not technically be lying about anything, and nobody's gonna notice because it has starters and legendaries and the synchro machine. even the new credits theme sounds like a cry for help.

i'm taking the love i had for these kids and channeling it into something that no corporation has control over.

my biggest wish for the next game is to let our friend NPCs use the union circle as one of its headline features. with this much effort put into its dialogue for just those few characters. like the area zero trip but all the time (players who hate dialogue would probably also appreciate it not interrupting their actions like that segment didn't! win-win!). i want the characters from the 50 hour story to still be in our lives for the 500 hours of postgame, not say we'll live happily ever after and then turn into statues for a year. if next gen hurts as much as this one did, i'm not getting invested.

also, where the hell are the multi battles. i'm not that surprised they didn't bother with a battle tower again, but 2 on 2 with friends just like sword and shield seems so, so obvious and fun, but apparently not to this company

not even saying the game is bad, just not what i wanted.

i (somewhat) formatted the text dump of the blueberry league clubhouse dialogue in the indigo disk if anybody just wants to read it now without the lil animations and skip the big grind

(and the irl wait for the epilogue quest with all of our friends to become available. spoilers for that, but i will not hold off on telling people it exists because they deserve to know before they get too upset that the DLC story completely shafted the basegame's characters yet again, for even less good reason than last time, to the point that it feels almost spiteful)

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Tenzin's eldest daughter and dating Bolin which Tenzin isn't very pleased with. So Tenzin makes it his mission to keep you and Bolin apart which just means the two of you find sneakier ways to be together.

Part Two here

Tenzin got back to his house and for once it was quiet, confused where the small army he shared his house with was he approached his second eldest daughter Jinora. "Where's korra?" Tenzin asked. "With Asami". "And Ikki and Meelo?". "With uncle Boomi". “And your mother?”. “Out with Aunt Kya”. Tenzin smiled everyone was taken care of and he could finally relax. "And y/n and Bolin?" Tenzin asked relaxing into his chair. "They'e in y/n's room" Jinora shrugged and Tenzin jumped up "with the door closed? Y/n" he bellowed pushing the door open with air bending. "Okay okay im sorry" he heard you yell and Tenzin sighed having your boyfriend stay here was making him age faster.

You and Bolin were in your room relaxing on the bed preparing to watch a movie. For once you didn’t have to babysit your younger siblings or train so had rushed off for some privacy with Bolin and your dad almost kicked the door down. Your dad was insanely worried about leaving you and Bolin alone despite the fact you were dating and Bolin was the sweetest guy in the world. Bolin had been trying to show you the mover he was in for week but you never had a spare moment where you could be alone with him. So when your dad had gone out and left you and Bolin with no task it seemed like the perfect time. You were determined your dad wouldn’t stop another one of your dates but of course he managed to. When your door flew open you sighed and called back you’d leave it open as per your dad’s many rules about you and Bolin. You looked to Bolin worried this would ruin the date but Bolin didn’t seem to mind. The movie started and you moved closer to Bolin to lean against him and he accomodated you hugging you against him. You and Bolin were just getting into the movie, despite the noise your family was making throughout the house when your father knocked on the open door and walked in. "Y/n its getting late, i think you and Bolin should get ready to go to sleep soon so he should go do that in his room soon". You nodded at your dad in reply so engrossed in the film you didn’t realise he hadn’t left. Tenzin coughed and you both looked up to see he didn't look impressed. "Ow you mean now?" Bolin asked and Tenzin nodded "well yes i think that'd be best". You blushed as Tenzin stood waiting glaring at Bolin. Bolin jumped up obediently while you pouted annoyed. Bolin paused the film and gathered his things and smiled "we can finish the movie tomorrow". You nodded "i suppose" and Bolin went to step towards you when Tenzin actually growled. A literal noise escaped his throat at Bolin daring to step closer to you. You sighed but Bolin just smirked and left shooting you a smile. Tenzin watched him go staring into his back and then turned to your door and fixed two bells around the door handle. "Dad!" You cried "what is that?". "Nothing just a decoration...". "You're doing it so you’ll know if i leave my room! Do you not trust me?". "I trust you y/n but i do not trust teenage boys! And i have to do my duty as your father! Having your boyfriend under the same roof..i have to take precautions". "But you didn't do this for Mako and Korra!". "Yes well Korra is older than you and Mako is more responsible than Bolin". You groaned and Tenzin coughed "you weren’t going to break the rules so this shouldn’t be an issue for you". You rolled your eyes "fine whatever...can i go to sleep now?". Tenzin nodded "i am only doing it because i love you y/n, if you have children you’ll understand". You huffed and Tenzin frowned "well goodnight y/n". "Goodnight dad" you said exasperatedly as the door closed but you didn’t plan on sleeping. Your dad hadn’t put bells on your window so as soon as you heard him go to bed you got ready. You gathered what you needed and climbed out of your window before airbending onto the roof. You carefully climbed across the roof to Bolin’s room and landed outside his window. You knocked on Bolin’s window film projector in hand and saw the curtains swing aside as Bolin realised it was you. "Y/n" Bolin grinned hanging out of his window "what are you doing here?". "Well we didn't get to finish the movie because of my dad so i figured we could now without him knowing?". Bolin hesitated for two seconds before grinning "yes come on it!". It had only been lightly raining but Bolin still wrapped a blanket around you before bringing you back to your prefered spot on the bed. He bustled around getting the movie ready and the secret snacks Tenzin didnt know about before jumping down next to you.

The film finished and Bolin looked at you anxiously "so what did you think...i wasn't sure if it was too far fetched and could you tell i couldn’t do my stunts properly and i didn’t look that great in that scene with the royal guards...". "Bolin" you said grabbing his shoulders "it was great! You were great in it, your stunts were amazing, your acting was really good and you looked well..." you trailed off blushing "basically it was amazing and i really enjoyed it!". "Really?" Bolin asked and you nodded. Bolin seized you in a hug and it made you blush he valued your opinion so much. "Im so glad you like it" he smiled putting you back down "your opinion means a lot to me" he blushed and you smiled. "Yours too Bolin" you told him "you're one of the most important people to me". Bolin's blush grew and he looked down his eyes slightly glazed. Bolin smiled and took your hand "you're pretty important to me too y/n" and kissed you softly. Bolin was always so caring and affectionate he just always made you feel loved and safe. He never pressured or rushed you, he was the best man you'd ever met. You broke away blushing and smiled at him before sighing "i should probably go". Bolin frowned "are you sure i mean it's not even that late...plus it's raining really heavily outside you could get a cold or get blown off the roof! Or lost". "Lost? My rooms practically across from yours!" you smirked but Bolin shrugged "i still don’t think you should risk it". You smirked "so what i stay here until the rain stops...that could be all night". Bolin shrugged "i just think it’d be safer it probably won’t be all night" he argued but his tone told you he hoped it would be. You smirked and nodded "fine..i guess i can stay for a bit longer and see if it stops". Bolin grinned "that's a very good decision y/n i must say". "Stop it" you pushed him before blushing as he grabbed your hand. You smiled and leant into him "i might nap while im here for a bit, if that's okay?". Bolin nodded "of course" and gathered even more blankets to keep you warm. You smiled getting into the blankets and Bolin got in beside you. With a bolt of lightning the rain came down ever harder. You noticed and Bolin pretended to look away. "i didn’t do anything!" he said when he felt you looking at him. "Mh hmmm?" You asked laying beside him but you were smiling. "Promise" Bolin smiled putting an arm around you. Bolin was so broad you fitted against him easily and curled up against his side. Bolin wrapped his large arm around you and you felt do safe and warm with the rain pounding against the window. "Goodnight y/n" Bolin smiled kissing your forehead and you smiled closing your eyes. "Goodnight Bolin".

You vaguely heard voices and groaned trying to sunk further into the warmth and Bolin. You buried your head against his chest and fell back to sleep when suddenly Bolin’s door was thrown open. "Y/n" Tenzin screetched and you and Bolin jolted awake. Bolin let out a yelp as Tenzin stared his eyes bulging. "You didn’t put bells on my windows?" you offered and your father turned even more red. "I’ll be putting bars on your window young lady if you dont stay in your assigned room!" He yelled and to your dismay others flocked to the room. "Did you find her?" Asami asked before smirking "ow...i see". "She's in here?" Mako asked "but thats Bolins room" before trailing off as Korra stumbled in too. "Well you did want Y/N to help rebuild the air nation" Korra smirked before she halted as Tenzin spun on her making the avatar gulp. "Is there something funny about my little girl growing up?" Tenzin yelled at them "no? Didn’t think so! Y/n get out of there right now and march yourself to your room this instance". You distangled yourself from Bolin and all the blankets and stood up red faced. "Sir it wasnt y/ns fault..." Bolin tried but Tenzin silenced him with a look. "You are grounded young lady and if i ever find you in his room again i'll...i'll take away your bison!". "Dad...." you groaned but he shook his head "no buts now to your room". You rolled your eyes but did as he said.

Later you sat in your room avoiding your dad's wrath when you heard someone near your window and opened your suprisingly still unlocked window to see Pabu. "Pabu?" You asked as he scampered in and dropped something on your bed. You grinned to see it was a note from Bolin with a wild flower attached "so guess you're our go between huh Pabu" You asked the fire ferret as you fed him a treat as payment. Pabu made a happy noise and you smiled before turning to Bolin’s note. "Sorry i got you in trouble but it was worth it" he wrote "think your dads gonna have us under surveillance for a while but i'm sure we can work around it. I'm game if you are and next time we wont get caught. Love Bolin". You smiled hiding your note and wrote a quick reply before handing it to Pabu who ran off to give it Bolin. You picked up the flower Pabu had also brought and smirked, you had the best boyfriend ever. Father be damned you’d find a way to see him.

[glitterge1pen]

Crayons Not Cigarettes

Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 2,770

If you looked it up on google the descriptors were "small venue" and "sports arena" and "stadium". The place took roughly ten minutes to walk around, the parking lot was huge, and it had those bright white lights out in the front. The entrance was a bit grand, big pillars with dozens of different sports flags. Tons of different teams, tournaments, and practices were held here.

You were starting your part time job at the concession stands today. You had already gone through the training a couple days ago, all that was left was actually doing your job. You were hoping you had a good shift partner, that you didn't spill any drinks, that people would be nice to you.

Tonight there was a volleyball match, you decide the crowd was decent for thirty minutes before game time. The regular attendees stood in lines at the front gates, waiting to be let in. Walking up to the employee only entrance you struggled with your key card to get it open. This was exactly how your manager had done it on training day. There was only five more minutes before your shift started, you were starting to worry you might be late.

"Turn it over"

You whipped around to see another person standing right behind you. He had blonde dyed hair with black streaks, and his eyes doused in eyeliner.

"Oh, thanks"

You kinda mumble it out, embarrassed that this very cute stranger had to see you struggle opening a door.

"Do you work here too?"

You ask as you hold the door open for him.

"No"

You take his short reply as him saying the conversation is over. You still have to awkwardly walk next to him down the long employee corridor though. After a rather long pause he continues speaking.

"I'm a volleyball player. On game days we get to use the employee entrances and doors."

"Really? That's cool,"

Up further down the hall you can see where your paths will diverge.

"Well I hope the game goes well for you"

He says nothing, but does nod his head before leaving for the locker room area. You turn the other way to the employee office. Put your jacket and bag into a locker, clock in on the old desktop, and walk out to the counter to start your shift. Your shift partner isn't there yet so you begin setting things up at the booth alone.

You flick on all the machines, filling up the icee mixer with dyed flavors, a new pouch of cheese for the nacho dispenser. You unpackage plastic cups, open up different cupboards and drawers trying to familiarize yourself before you have to start serving people. You get change from the back, filling up the register. Finally your shift partner shows up. Just in time to because you start to hear the sounds of people entering.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Your next shift was for a highschool gymnastics tournament. The concessions stand was in a large hallway between different gymnasiums, wedged between the gift shop and Subway. Since it was a smaller event you were the only one working the counter. Hardly anyone was buying anything though. The fan behind the counter gave a gentle hum, the music rather quiet amongst the sounds of people.

“You still got bottled water?”

It was that guy from your first day. You duck below the counter to grab a bottle, hand it to him and start ringing up the total.

“You guys won that game the other day, right?”

You knew they had won. You had spent your break trying to get a glimpse of the player who you had spoken to. You had only gotten to see him for a few moments, his body in the air, hand coming down on the ball sending it over the net in one fluid motion. After pulling the metal shutters down over the counter at closing, you had walked back to the courts to confirm the score.

“Yeah,”

It was here that another volleyball player came up to the counter.

“I told you that you could use one of my extra water bottles! You didn't have to go and buy one!”  

The other player turned his attention to you.

“Sorry that my scary friend is bothering you-”

“Scary?”

You asked confused, but he kept talking.

“I’m Konganegawa, me and Kyotani are both Sendai Frogs!”

Kyotani.

“Nice to meet you both”

You say.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Kyotani sat on the counter of the concession stand. You liked it when he was perched up there, he warded customers off fairly well. You were certain that practice had ended a while ago, but you said nothing in fear of sending him away. He didn't always say much, or anything sometimes, but his presence was comforting to you. Even if it wasn't always abundantly clear you could tell he paid attention to you, like he was standing watch.

He knew your schedule, what snacks to buy for you on break, what songs you liked best on your manager's store playlist. He had quickly become your favorite part of work. It didn't matter who you shared shifts with, if you had gotten swamped at the register, or if you had to mindlessly wipe the counters with boredom. As long as Kyotani was there work wasn't ever terrible.

“The team is having a get together”

You had been re-arranging the plastic utensils on the counter but stopped to listen to him.

“You wanna come?”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“And you like Kyotani? Like you’d want to go on a date with him?”

Yamaguchi was teasing you, his voice trying to communicate how ridiculous he thought the notion was. You had quickly grown close to him after tagging along to a few of the Sendai Frog events. He came to every game and usually made an appearance at the concession stand to chat with you or you would find him in the stands. Today was one of those days.

“You are literally dating Tsukkishima”

Yamaguchi perked up in defense,

“They are nothing alike!”

“That I can agree on”

Both of you dissolving into laughs. Yamaguchi's face steadied and got more serious.

“You really do feel that way about him?”

He asked.

“Yes, I mean even when we first met I thought he was cute, and we keep hanging out more and more, and I just keep liking him more and more”

Yamaguchi looked ready to say something else when he stopped himself. You turned around, suddenly feeling another's company. Kyotani was right there, you wondered if he had heard anything you said but his expression betrayed nothing.

“You're on your break?”

“Yeah, what's up?”

He seemed, you couldn't find the exact word, but it was between dejected and bitter. You wanted to ask if he was okay but he spoke first.

“I thought you'd be watching the game”

“We had been,”

Yamaguchi said, jumping into the conversation.

“Yeah, the first set was just about to end, concessions is gonna be swamped when I get back”

You said, you trying to meet Kyotani’s eyes, to see if they would reveal anything to you but no such luck was granted.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You try to focus on the customers you have. A dance competition was in the big gym today, the entire place was packed. You hand out bags of popcorn, perfectly filled cups of beer to the brim. At one of the tables placed outside your stand is Kyotnai. He was practically stewing, his aura strong and unavoidable. He was making it harder to count out change and your eyes kept drifting from customers to him. He had been sitting there for a while. You thought that maybe someone else from the team would come drag him back to practice, but that didn't happen.

The last customer in line left, the competition having gotten louder, more intense, pulling people away from the food. That last customer was replaced with Kyotani’s scrunched up sulking, angry face. Normally you wouldn't call it sulking, just angry or annoyed, but he definitely had traces of sulking on him.

“A couple weeks ago,”

He got this part out fine, but the rest of his words came a little more quiet.

“You had been talking to Yamaguchi on your break during a game, who were you talking about?”

You don't know what to say. You stumble over a few words, none of them sounding right. He was so direct and challenging, you felt as if no matter what you said he would eventually pull it from you. You only managed to get one word out properly.

“Why?”

He didn't answer and this surprised you.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Kyotani stood under one of the lamps outside the main entrance. You thought you could see the outline of a  pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He didn't smell like smoke and you had never seen him do it before. You didn't move for a moment wondering if you could catch him smoking now.

“Hey fuckface! We going or not?”

Kyotani had spotted you and called out.

“Yeah, yeah”

You said rushing over to meet him. You could no longer count on your fingers how many times you had hung out with him. A couple of movies, lots of grabbing food after his practice or your shift, that time you found out he couldn't roller skate, that one trip to the museum. He had kissed one of the statues in defiance when you told him to stop touching things. Unfortunately for him that was the exact moment you had pulled out your phone to snap some pictures.

Today though he was tagging along with you to the store. You needed to pick a couple things up before going home. He had offered to drive. In the car, you recounted that day's incidents. A spilled soda on your pants, a customer yelling at you about their cotton candy, and getting scolded for coming in five minutes late.

“Why are you working there? Not that it’s bad, but you kinda hate it”

“Anyone hates working in a job where you have to give people food and wear a collared shirt, plus I don't hate it you're there”

That part about him wasn’t something you planned to say and you chose to ignore the seinement and keep talking.

“I’m just trying to save up money right now, I have other things in life I want, and you?”

You asked, at the light he stopped to look at you.

“What do you mean?”

“You just have volleyball brain, that's it?”

He hesitated here, it was brief but it was there.

“Volleyball brain is my diagnosis”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Once in the store Kyotani pushed a cart around while you led him up and down different aisles. You pulled off bottles of dish soap, a pack of clorox wipes. You were going to turn down to the electronics center to see if they had any cute phone cases you might want when Kyotani cut in front of you with the cart.

“Let’s go the other way”

“It’s faster if we go this way”

You tried walking past him but he didn't budge. You huff, and shoulder check him when turning in the direction he wants to go. This happens a few more times. You wanted to loop around to the grocery aisle when he insisted you lap the whole store instead of just cutting past the toys and books. You forgot to grab that extra phone charger you had been wanting and he wouldn't let you pass by the magazines to get it. In the end you had waited with the cart while he went to grab it for you.

When you were loading the bags into the back seat of his car he asked what you wanted to eat.

“You sure you want to go out? You seemed nervous in the store”

You say.

“I’m fucking hungry”

Is all he says, but you know he's trying to lighten the mood from the strange way he was acting in the store. In the car he lets you pick the music and roll the windows down.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

It was a weekend morning and once again you were back at the store. You thought about the last time you were here a couple weeks before with Kyotani. Recently you have fallen into a type of rhythm with Kyotani. You spent a lot of your free time with him, with each other's friends, your lives were almost totally meshed together. More often than not people assumed you two were dating. Even if you wanted that to be true you were still unsure how he felt about you.

You had your basket and were on the way to the check out when spotted a book on display. Oftentimes you would send pictures of frogs and frog merchandise to the Sendai Frog group chat you had been roped into. Even if you weren't on the team you had officially been adopted into the group because “you work for home base!” according to Koganegawa. You picked the book up off the shelf.

They were the cutest drawings you had ever seen. They were simple and rough. Done in crayon which made them so charming. The title of the book was Frogs Go Ribbit! , if the display card was right this was the authors fourth picture book and so far the most popular. You opened up the first pages.

Frogs ribbit all day long

When they snooze and when they watch the morning news

Each frog had different types of music notes drawn coming from their mouth. Some frogs had bright colorful notes, one had notes that looked like plants and flowers, one had notes covered in flames. The one with flames had dark lines drawn under its eyes. It reminded you of Kyotani, if you weren't going to buy the book before you were now. You turned the page. Then snapped it shut.

At the movies buying tickets, during museum visits  

It was you. Sure you were a little crayon cartoon but that was you. It was you and a little frog that looked like Kyotani. That was your hair, your favorite pair of shoes. It was you and frog Kyotani in line buying movie tickets. You pull out your phone and scroll back in your photos to when you and Kyotani had first gone to the movies. It was even the same outfit. On the museum page you gasped when you realized who the other frog was.

Tsukishima's frog had glasses, a figure that was unmistakably Yamaguchi pointing in excitement at a painting next to the frog. There was no way it wasnt Yamaguchi and Tsukki. The green tufts of hair, you had helped him dye many times now so obvious. You and Kyotani were on the museum page as well. Kyotanis frog sticking its tongue out to latch onto a statue while you hit him on the head. Little yellow exclamations drawn around the point of impact. You flipped to the next page.

In the trees, on the court they ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! It fills their hearts!

There was a Koganegawa frog hidden in a basket of volleyballs. Tsukishima's frog blocking a serve from Yamaguchi with its tongue. Yachi was also on this page cheering from the stands. You were crouched down next to Kyotani’s frog patting him on the head, a doodle of a heart floating off him. The rest of the team was there drawn as frogs as well. Sure they weren't wearing jerseys with their numbers, there wasn't a Sendai Frogs banner, but that was them.

You flip through the rest of the book rather quickly. The book telling the tale of how frogs need to take breaks from their ribbits, how they need to eat well, sleep well, and love others. The page with the frogs eating had you feeding Kyotani a plate of flies. When you closed the last page and turned over to see who the author and illustrator were, all that was there on the front cover were the initials M.D. You pull out your phone from your pocket as you start grabbing as many of the books as you can. Your hand finding the contact you were looking for.

“Yamaguchi, you're never going to believe this but I think Kyotani feels the same way I do and you're also not going to believe how I figured that out”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: ahahahahah I don't know why this ended up so long BUT ALSO LIL FROG THAT GO RIBBIT. And here's the playlist that I listened to while I wrote; cherry sparkling water

[aot-snk-4238]

My thoughts on AOT No Requiem (Fanmade Ending) Part 1:

With another chapter of this story coming out soon, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on the first part. Before I do that, though, I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

A part of me hates that this project exists. Not because I find it disrespectful, but because it serves as a bitter reminder of what a complete mess this ending caused among many fans. I'm still in disbelief how things got so bad so quickly. First, you've got the people who hated it. People began turning on Isayama and calling him a terrible or incompetent writer, regretting ever getting into the series, insisting that it was worse than Game of Thrones, the list goes on and on. People who liked the ending are now endlessly referred to as "ending defenders" or more crude names like "Isayama cockriders," as though they're a bunch of incompetent fools who don't know the first thing about reading comprehension all because they just happened to like it. And then of course you've got the other extreme end of the spectrum where the ones who were disappointed are accused of not understanding the story or they're only upset because their favorite ship or fan theory didn't become canon. This, too, is very demeaning and invalidating for those who grew up with this series that they gave their heart to and cherished for so long, only to have it do what they felt was a complete 180 at the very last second that undid every part of the story they thought was special and unique. It's one of the hardest slaps to the face you can get as a reader and long-time fan, and while I can't fully relate to everyone's feelings, I can at least understand and acknowledge that it's there and it shouldn't be laughed at. Now with all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts and analysis of this fanmade ending and how it differs from Isayama's.

To start things off, I found that part 1 started off similar to how 137 did in the canon manga, with Armin and Zeke conversing in PATHS. The biggest difference would be kid Eren being transported there and seeing his older self. To be fair though, this chapter was only about half the length of what we're used to reading, so I'm sure we'll get a lot more in part 2 onwards.

While Zeke is enlightening Armin on the history of the earth and how the life form that attached itself to Ymir sought to avoid death forever, young Eren is in PATHS too with his older self, witnessing the moment Ymir found the tree and fell in it to become the first titan. At first, there is no dialogue exchanged between them. They just hold hands and watch. Meanwhile, Zeke is still talking to Armin about Ymir and how she continued to serve her oppressive master despite acquiring godlike powers that would allow her to obliterate him whenever she pleased. This is where the team working on this project attempt to provide their own alternate possibilities as to why this happened in a way that would make more sense than what we were given in the canon story in which she simply had a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and couldn't let him go no matter how much he made her suffer.

So what are these new possibilities? They come in the form of a question, so their validity is not made absolutely certain, but they're presented as the most likely candidates nonetheless.

According to Zeke, she was unable to separate her own desires from King Fritz and was a lost girl who sought meaning. A place to belong. Tragically, King Fritz was the only connection she had in her life, so she clung to it with everything she had despite it being toxic and abusive. I could argue that these are the very reasons why she supposedly loved the king in the official manga, as explained by Eren in 139, but they weren't explained or touched on as plainly as they were here. I feel like they could have been if Isayama had just been given more time, but sadly the whole thing was rushed and underdeveloped.

Moving on, Zeke states that despite his efforts in trying to understand Ymir and her feelings, it was Eren who ultimately was able to get to her and offer her the choice of freedom. The next page transitions to young Eren standing in the clouds with his arms spread out and a smile on his face just like in the official 137, only this time 19yo Eren is next to him. Now I'm going to be honest here, this is where things started to get a little corny for me. Yeah. I know a lot of people hate that argument, but that's just how it felt to me. And before I say anything else, I want everybody to know that I am in no way about to mock anyone's fondness of this Eren over the one we saw in 139, even if it was a little over-the-top. It's perfectly fine to prefer one over the other, I'm just going to try to explain myself the best I can without coming across as harsh or unprofessional.

Eren is drawn in these panels to be a stone-faced, determined and unstoppable force who will "keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed." This is the Eren that many people grew most familiar with throughout the series, despite his occasional breakdowns, but something about the way it was executed just felt a little too overdramatic and exaggerated. For me, the contrast between this Eren and the Eren we were presented with in 139 is too jarring. It came across to me as the fandom's idealized version of Eren, the "chad" Eren if you will, rather than Isayama's portrayal of Eren who is cold and determined, but has also been experiencing stunted mental growth ever since the day he saw his mother get eaten; side note: I know that Eren himself was responsible for his mother's death, but that's a discussion for a later time. Not only that, but the "keep moving forward" line starts to get overused at this point. We already heard Eren say this a number of times before 137 where this first fanmade chapter takes place, so I didn't find it necessary to include that at the end, but it seemed to be the writers' way of trying to reinforce Eren's ultimate goal.

Regarding the rest of the chapter, young Eren asks older Eren what Ymir is still waiting for after he showed her that she's not alone. 19yo Eren proceeds to explain that while he was able to make her feel something again, she still needs somebody to free her. He shows his younger self all of the visions from PATHS that he's seen so far, ranging from past events to alternate realities to things that couldn't be changed no matter what. Now there is only one path left that he strives toward. The one that he believes will grant him and his people freedom. This next line is the one that stood out to me the most throughout this fanmade chapter. Still talking to kid Eren, adult Eren says, "When you wake up, you will forget what you learned, but not what you felt here. This will all feel just like a long dream." Only when he kisses Historia's hand will it all come back to him. This line more clearly explains why Eren woke up crying in chapter 1, but couldn't remember why. Then he circles back to how he intends to carry out his own plan to end the cycle of hatred once and for all. Despite his efforts along the way, he couldn't change the flow of PATHS and save the friends he lost or prevent certain events from happening altogether, so he had to accept that sacrifices had to be made. In this case, he will have to literally sacrifice the world, much to Armin's horror.

To wrap this up, I'm going to finish comparing this to the canon 137, but since the first part of this project only covers the PATHS portion of it, that's where I'll stop as well. To save a little but of time, I'm just gonna be lazy and copy the first part of a quick overview of the chapter I found as part of the wiki:

So clearly, canon 137 starts off focusing a lot more on Armin and Zeke's differing philosophies and does not provide any further insight into Eren's ultimate motives like this one does, at least not yet. Armin and Eren are bound to face off soon in this fanmade version, but it looks to me like this time the writers are planning on flipping the outcome and having Eren come out victorious instead, especially when I remember the name of this project and what it's based on. I guess that means that in a way, I already know what's ultimately going to happen throughout the rest of this project. Whether it's going to be considered superior to the actual ending is going to depend on if its executed properly. I could very well be wrong about some of this, though. I want to give it a fair shot since these people have clearly put a lot of hard work and passion into this, so I will refrain from further judgement until we get the full picture. On a side note, I just want to say that the artwork is beautiful so far and I commend every artist responsible for their efforts. I also liked the song choice at the beginning and thought it set the mood pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who read the whole thing. This took me far longer to write than it should have because I'm not always good at expressing myself in a way that does not come across as confusing or contradictory. I will continue to share my thoughts as more content is released, which by the looks of it could be any day now.

[pixxyofice]

this was probably an unfair lie but that's part of the fun

anyway the lie was there being three mondays.

it's four, actually.

explanations for the others under the cut!

robot cat beating the shit out of the final boss?

you play as 808 during the first phase of the final boss and also the very first thing she does the moment chai is out of commission is to punch him in the face

slightly exaggerated, but still true!

final boss made mind control for no marketing purposes!

LITERALLY he didn't want to try to market properly. he just wants them to buy whatever shit they made. an overly complicated plan to sell more product.

vandelay copyrighting the arrow is, in fact, real.

THE SOLE OWNER OF 'THE ARROW'. THE VANDELAY ARROW.

wait, how could an enemy with chainsaws for hands be good at cutting hair?

(if you're wondering why this took so long i had to finish the level i was working on and then replay it in order to get this screenshot)

... or so they claim it's good at cutting things. it's probably a lie in-universe, but it's claimed sooo

'there's a xenogears reference?'

its, um. yeah. for the reason of lampshading some cut time between levels!

'satsify smidge with enough damage' tells you enough, i think, about the. yeah.

this robot serves as little tutorials in the game for whatever new mechanic you get. and in a few of them he's like 'hey beat me up. i'm gonna give you some juice now have fun' and chai is just generally creeped out

AND NOW FOR THE ONE YOU ALL VOTED FOR!

yeah only one human character isn't named after food in some way.

Chai - the tea. Peppermint - peppermint. Macaron - macarons. Korsica - this might be a slight stretch BUT Corsican Mint Tea. (noted that korsica is one of the characters mainly named for sound, but still can be connected to food)

Rekka - Rekka Ramen (another sound name that is connected to food). Zanzo - Sanzo Sparkling Water (and the other sound name connected to food). Mimosa - a type of cocktail drink. Roquefort - Type of Cheese. Kale - fuckin GREEN VEGGIE BABYYY

The only human character without some connection to food is Roxanne.

note that i excluded the robots! Yeah this was to make it a truth. If i included all characters, 808 would stand out as a non food name. Like, she IS named after something... a drum set... but not food. so robots excluded. sorry CNMN

so, about one of the passwords being password...

Korsica. Since Korsica wasn't outfitted with Vandelay Tech, she memorizes her passwords. And. Uh. This One Was Password. We rag on her for it all the time

and, left shark. this game was five years in the making can you tell

YOU BECOME. THE LEFT SHARK. FOR A PLAN.

thank you for coming to this edition of 'hi-fi rush is such a silly game and i love it', now wait for next time as i try to come up with more

people got the first one, basically. hi-fi rush is still a wild game. guess the lie from the truths!

[mageofseven]

Part two of this Anon's ask! Part one with the Brothers can be found here.

Diavolo:

The prince was trying to balance the pen on top of his nose. He had been in his office for hours as he went through paperwork and the man was losing his focus.

Beep.

Yes! A distraction! The demon let his pen fall to the desk as he picked up his phone.

'Ddddd I love you 🥰'

The prince grinned.

'I love you too, my Queen! 😘' He texted back then added. 'What are you up to?'

'Wiiinne.'

Ah so that explains it. They're drinking the wine he got them for their birthday.

'Aw. You opened it without me. Aren't you naughty?'

'😔'

'What's that face for, my dear?'

'Youre t9o busyy to spend tim e wth me 😢'

The prince frowned and rose from his desk.

'Where are you? I'm coming now.'

'Ou r room.'

The prince left the room and headed down the hall to his bedroom. He stepped inside and saw his Queen sitting on the couch by the fire place, wine glass and bottle on the low table in front of them. They were sitting with their knees to their chest and staring into the fire.

Diavolo approached the couch and sat next to them.

"I'm sorry, my dear." He said softly, pulling them into his embrace. "I know I've been working a lot lately."

"It's fine..." They mumbled.

"My Queen, you're not being honest with me." He told them, pushing some hair out of their eyes and behind their ear.

"It's just...lonely." They admitted softly. "I know I have my friends to spend time with, but it's not the same. I miss you."

The prince leaned in and kissed their forehead.

"I'm truly sorry, MC." The demon apologized. "I've been putting some extra work on my plate so Lucifer will allow himself more sleep. I know it must have been a hard couple weeks for you though."

The man did this occasionally. He knew how his friend was and knew that simply asking him to sleep more wasn't enough. Even if it was extra stressful for the prince, he wanted to do what he could for his friend so he didn't have to always worry for Lucifer's health.

"No... no, I know it's harder for you; you're the one doing the work." The human laid their head on their boyfriend's chest and closed their eyes.

"I'll be fine so no worrying about me." He kissed them on the top of their head. "How about we go out to eat Friday night? I should have my work done by then."

"Okay." The human yawned.

Diavolo smiled at them.

"Okay, time to sleep. Up you go." The man stood up and carried them towards the bed, covering them up, and giving them one last kiss on the head. "Good night, my Queen."

The demon listened as his love's breath slowed as they fell asleep before he turned and left the room. As much as he wanted to lay with his human and hold them close, he now had a new purpose to his work. After all, now he had to make sure the majority of his work was done before Friday. For his Queen's sake.

Barbatos:

Barbatos was in the kitchen, making a snack for his lord and his sweet human. Lord Diavolo had invited them over for a drink so the two had been sitting outside in the garden, watching the sunset while they had some wine. The butler had no qualms with this; he knew that both his love and his master were trustworthy. That and it was part of his job to come and go so he could spend time with them as well, even if he himself was not joining in on the drinking.

The butler took the finished dish back to the garden, only to discover the table to be vacant now. Raising an eyebrow, the man sat the dish on the table.

"Perfect timing!" The prince was suddenly behind him. "Barbatos, help me find MC!"

The smaller demon raised an eyebrow.

"Is my dear alright, milord?"

"Oh yes." Diavolo grinned. "We are simply playing a human game. Hide and Seek, as they call it."

A children's game? The butler remembered his human telling him about different activities they did as a child and that was one of them.

"I see." Barbatos nodded. "I shall help you then."

He and his master split up, searching the different rooms in the castle. The demon was suddenly concerned for MC; there were a lot of rooms in this castle that are dangerous for the average demon to enter and far more than deadly for a human like them.

He started checking the rooms he most dearly wished that his love would steer clear of.

Ding.

The butler pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. It was them.

'Barbie cmoe hide wtih me~'

Ah. Perfect timing.

'As you wish, my dear. Where are you?'

'Nnnope. You gtta say you lvoe me fust.'

The demon cracked a smile, a genuine one. Oh that human. I suppose the alcohol is making them a bit bold.

'I love you, my dear. Now tell me where I can find you?'

'Awwwwaww. I love yu t9o 😘'

His smile grew a bit more.

'This is awfully cute, my dear, but I still need to know your whereabouts.'

'The balroon~'

The ballroom? What an odd choice.

'I'm on my way, dear.'

The butler made his way to the ballroom and found his love laying on the floor in the center of the room.

"Do you require any help getting up?" He asked the human, who giggled in response.

"Nooo. Just lay down with me."

"I'm afraid I cannot--"

The human sat up and started tugging on his hand. They were really cute in this state.

"As you wish, my love." And so he laid on the floor next to them. "Now, may I ask why you chose this room to hide from my lord? There's nowhere to conceal yourself here."

MC grinned.

"That's point. He wouldn't think to look for me here."

"Ah, I see." The butler nodded. "You did well, my dear."

They giggled and snuggled up to his chest.

The two laid like that there for a while, enjoying the closeness. Eventually, the echo of the doors opening made it to their ears and they looked over to find Diavolo entering the ballroom.

"My, you two look like you are enjoying yourselves." He grinned.

"My lord--" He went to get up, but was halted by Diavolo's lifted hand.

"No, relax. Please enjoy the rest of the evening however you wish."

Barbatos let his master's words hang in the air for a moment before responding.

"Alright. Thank you, milord."

Solomon:

Asmodeus invited the sorcerer over for some drinks. In all honesty, he had planned on declining since he was close to a break through in his current magical project and didn't want to break away from it. However, the demon had let him know that MC agreed to join him and Solomon had to admit, he was curious about how that would work out. He had never actually seen his little Minx drink before.

This should be interesting, he thought to himself before telling Asmo that he'd be there later that night. When the time came, the three of them were sitting in Asmo's room, drinking and chatting together. The three laid together in a comfy pile on the bed. The sorcerer had to admit, it was a fun night. Asmo got a little handsy, but nothing that the couple wasn't comfortable with; the Avatar of Lust knew their boundaries after all.

At one point, MC had left to go grab something from their room. Fifteen minutes had gone by however and they still hadn't returned. Excusing himself from Asmo, the man went to MC's room to look for them, but it was empty. Strange. He took out his phone.

'MC, where have you gone to?'

A couple moments later, he got a reply.

'Seccret'

'Ah so you're hiding then.' He texted back, smiling. 'I see you're feeling playful.'

The man started searching the house, even knocking on Leviathan's door to ask if he's seen you. When he came up empty handed, the human man could only frown.

He took out his phone again.

'Little Minx, please tell me where you're hiding.'

'Nno'

He pursed his lips as he read that.

'Is something wrong?'

He didn't get a reply for a few minutes. When it did come, the man froze at the words.

'Soli, do yuo love mme?'

The man took a minute to respond.

'What brought this on?'

Nothing. He texted them again.

'MC, please talk to me.'

'I lvoe you, btu yuo makke me sadd 😔'

Something in the sorcerer deflated when he read those words. It took him a while to move past them, but when he did, he was ready to take action.

'Let's talk about this face to face. Where are you?'

'My romm'

Their room? Did they sneak back in there while he was preoccupied? Regardless, he headed back in the direction of MC's room and peeked back inside. This time, he saw light shining through their closet door. Solomon raised an eyebrow at this, but approached the closet.

"MC, will you please leave the closet?" He asked, but recieved no reply, causing him to sigh and quietly open the door.

He found them sitting on the floor, phone in hand, but face hidden in their arms. Solomon paused, not sure about the best course of action here. He eventually kneeled down in front of them and started stroking their hair.

"MC, talk to me." He said softly.

The other human sniffled.

"I was having fun." They told him. "I was having fun with you guys and enjoying myself, but then suddenly I wasn't and bad thoughts rushed in and I couldn't handle it."

"You should of told me earlier." Solomon scooted closer to them and pulled them in for a hug. "I'm right here for you. There's no need to hide away in a dark closet."

"But... I don't wanna be a burden to you." They lifted their head to look up at their boyfriend.

"Relying on me doesn't make you a burden; it shows that I am doing my job right as a boyfriend." He looked into the distance. "Though I suppose if you think such things than I haven't been doing my job properly."

"No! I didn't mean--"

The sorcerer brought his lips to hers, silencing their protests. When they broke away, he looked down into their eyes.

"You asked me earlier if I loved you... the truth is, I am not a man who finds honesty to be an easy thing, especially when it comes to my feelings. However... I cannot deny how much I care for you. I may not say it enough during our time together, but just know that I truly love and cherish you, even in moments when it seems like all I want is to get a rise out of you. Please know this."

MC started wiping their eyes.

"Do... do you mean that?"

"Yes, little Minx." He smiled down at them. "Now please try to remember this for tomorrow. It was difficult for me to admit this one time; I'd rather not have to repeat myself."

The two sat in the closet for a little longer, the boyfriend's embrace slowly wearing away at all of MC's insecurities.

Simeon:

It was at Mammon's birthday party. The brothers had really gone all out for the second brother and though some people were surprised at this, the angel was not. As complicated as the brothers and their relationships to one another are, he knew that they each cared deeply about the others, with Mammon included, of course.

The party was still at House of Lamentation, but they provided so many food and drink options and invited many people; himself and his fellow Purgatory residents (though he made Luke go home after a while when some of the guests were being...a bit much), some work friends of Mammon's from his modeling agency, and some other demons from RAD that the angel vaguely knew.

At first, Simeon hadn't planned on staying long, but Solomon insisted that he should use this as an opportunity to have fun then whispered that the angel just might get some secret alone time with his little Lamb if he were to wait till others had drank enough to forget their absence. Solomon was the only one who knew about him and MC's relationship.

Angel and human relationships are seen as taboo in the Celestial realm. It always has been, but his Father has been a lot stricter with the Rule since the incident with Lilith. This is why he tried so desperately to keep the human at arms length.... it was all in vain though. He loved MC dearly and his little Lamb loved him back. He felt like there was no going back once he knew this. Still, they had to be careful, had to keep it all a secret from others. The two never meant for Solomon to find out, but the angel had to admit, it was almost inevitable. His human friend was commonly with him and he was a very observant man. Simeon wasn't fully sure if he was trustworthy or not, but he gave the man credit for keeping the secret this long.

So there the angel was, standing on the side lines of the the Avatar of Greed's birthday party, only occasionally chatting with others who came up to him, and watched those around them drink into oblivion.

Bing.

The man pulled his phone out of his pocket.

'I LVOE you swet angellly mn 🥰'

Simeon raised his eyebrows. It seems that his Feather has been drinking with the others. Simeon himself was not a drinker. It's not a Celestial rule for angels or anything; he just simply is not a fan of alcohol and rarely partakes in it. Because of this, the angel never stopped to think whether it was the same for MC or not.

'I love you too, my little Lamb. Where are you right now?'

'T he roff.'

His eyes widened.

'The roof, my Feather?'

'Yeess'

The angel quickly (but as inconspicuously as he could) headed towards the front door. Once he was outside, he transformed and flew above House of Lamentation, scanning its roof. He found his human laying on the segment of roof above their room.

He flew down next to them.

"My Lamb, I don't believe this is a safe place for you, especially if you've been drinking."

"I'm fine..." MC merely shook their headed. "I do this all the time."

The angel pursed his lips, but didn't say anything as they patted the space next to them. Getting the hint, he sat down next to them and stretched a wing out to cover them and hopefully shield them from the wind a bit.

"The stars look really pretty in the Devildom, don't they?" The human said softly, staring up at the night sky. "The stars are so much more colorful here than in the Human realm."

The angel followed their gaze and nodded.

"Yes, it's a beautiful sight." He agreed, staring up at the deep specs of color.

Strangely enough, each star was a dark shade of the colors associated with the Brothers. Or maybe it wasn't so strange? The Devildom has always had Avatars of the Seven Great Sins, long before the seven brothers were even born. He remembered learning that in his Devildom History class during his first year at RAD though they never mentioned anything about them having connections to the stars.

"Though... I wish I could show you the night sky of the Celestial realm some day." He added.

"I mean... can you?" They asked, not breaking their line of sight from the sky.

Simeon frowned.

"No... I don't think it'd be worth the risk." The angel answered reluctantly. "I'd rather you not be any near the Celestial realm ever again."

Before the two were dating, MC and Solomon once visited himself and Luke up in the Celestial realm and had a meal. His Lamb had only gotten to see a small glimpse of the beauty that is his home. There's so much more that he wished to show them however and now... he likely never will. He feared the gaze of Michael falling upon them, of the older angel seeing them and figuring out their relationship. Michael cared about him, but just like he supported the death of Lilith for her human endeavors, surely he would also support whatever punishment their Father would choose for him and maybe MC?

"Oh..." MC lowered their head. "Well, what's it like then? The Celestial night sky?"

Simeon paused a minute, letting himself collect his words.

"It's... here in the Devildom, the days give just enough light to navigate the world, but the night is as dark as the void." He began. "In the Celestial realm, everything is bright and uplifting during the day and the nights don't so much get dark, but rather, the light gets dimmer, more gentle, and the pastel stars are seen through the clouds above."

"You get to live in a world like that?" They turned their head to meet his eyes. "It sounds so beautiful. We have nothing like that in the human world. Do you have any moons though?"

"No, just the stars and the sun our Father made for us." He answered. "The Devildom moons seem so big and foreboding to me however. I don't know if we are missing out much in that regard."

"The moon in my realm isn't like these three though." His Feather gestured to the orbs in the sky. "Ours is not as big and... I guess you could say it provides a gentle light for night time. I think it's because it reflects some of our sun's rays, but I can't remember for sure."

"It must be quite the sight, my Lamb." The angel gave them a soft smile.

"Could... could you come see it with me?"

His smile fell.

"I'm... I'm not sure." He admitted. "I don't think I could come up a secure enough excuse to ask for such clearance."

The human didn't say a thing, just pushed their knees up to their chest. Simeon used his wing to push them close to him and brought his hand to their chin. He had them face him before leaning in and giving them a gentle kiss.

"I love you... but this is all we'll ever get, isn't it?" They asked softly.

Simeon rested his chin on top of their head and stroked their hair.

"I love you too, my little Lamb." He told them. "And I... I do not what the future holds for us, but I will give my all to make it a happy one."

~

Masterlist

[everafterkeiji]

Song: La La Lost You by Niki

Summary: With him being the pro hero he is, time slips away while distance grows.

Pairings: Katsuki Bakugo x fem! reader

Word count: 4.8k

Warning: angst, cursing

Quirk: You can read minds and portray them in real life. Example: If they thought about a gun, you create the image of the gun and use the gun. Same goes for you, if you think about a bomb, a bomb is already in your hands ready to use.

Symbols: Italic= flashbacks

A/n: can you pls let me know if you'd like a part 2 fnejdn

While I'm on Sunset, are you on the subway?

While I drive, are you gettin' on the L-train?

Bakugo can feel the longing in his heart as he watches a couple pick out engagement rings. His fists tighten at the sight as he feels an ache in his heart while he longs for an embrace his body misses, a body he missed to cherished, pair of lips he missed to place upon his. He lowers his head as he does his nightly patrols. Winter coming in closer than he realized, another year passing by. He thought he wanted this year to end as fast as it could yet here he is, sorrow and regret on his shoulders. Half of his heart gone, nearly falling apart as he stares at every happy couple his eyes fall upon. Even if his fans came to him, no matter how loud the praises and compliments were thrown at him, he felt nothing.

All he wanted to feel was her.

He wanted to feel how warm she was pressed against him, he wanted to feel her lips on his once again, he wanted to hear her voice again. Not the voice he last heard that was full of sadness but the voice he loved to listen to whenever he had his nightmares, his insecure nights. The softness in her tone, the way every laugh of hers would sound ethereal to him, the feist in her words whenever they had their battles. Now all those sounds seem to grow deaf to him. It's been a year, a year without her. A rather long year for him. Everyday he had to wake up to a cold bed, no arms wrapped around him, no view for him to enjoy when he opens his eyes. The way your moments were held in the walls surrounding him, every milestone of your relationship cherished in one household. He felt as if it was mocking him, making him remember the happiness your relationship brought him.

Hope that eases the pain

So you remember to miss me

Before, your house was filled with pictures of you two. Now it was empty, a house for one man when it was supposed to be a house for his ever after with her. Where was his savior? Where are the soft melodies she'd sing to him whenever he had his insecurities drag him down? All these moments he can only replay in his mind.

As he opens the door, he remembers the smile that falls on his lips no matter how exhausted he was, ready to see his girlfriend safe and sound in their own house. He'd catch her asleep on the couch with her favorite blanket cuddled up to a stuff toy he won her in a game.

He lets out a tired sigh before stepping in the shower. He closes his eyes, trying to surpass the way his eyes wanted to shed tears at the sight of her without his side. The more he tries to ignore it, the farther she gets from his view. He only remembers the way he raised his voice at her, the tears that ran down her cheek. The hurtful things that left his mouth, he never meant to say.

Unsaid things only to be said to a wall as his chances were slimming down as time passes. The words he wanted to say only being said when he was intoxicated but the person he badly wanted to say it to wasn't there to listen.

Does the trick for all of the things left unsaid

He didn't dare to face his friends, knowing questions and reactions are the only things he's gonna get from them. They'd be the ones to mention your name when they notice your disappearance. Kirishima knows about the split and has made many attempts to get the blonde back on his feet like he used to but every attempt would just end in bottles on the floor and carrying Bakugos intoxicated body back in your old couch.

Kirishimas heart wanted to cry for him.

Whenever your name was mentioned in missions or groups, he'd noticed the sadness that sets in his eyes and expression while he tries to hide it by being his aggressive self. Even as his best friend, there's nothing that he could do when the only solution to Bakugos heart was you.

You tried to ignore the fact that every night for a year you drowned out your emotions by overworking yourself and thinking that by being surrounded by lights and alcohol brought you contentment while you had no clue of what your other half was doing. Like him, you craved nothing more than to be with him.

Some have tried to contact you, you tried to sound believable as possible. Trying to sound like the boy you love was still around you pulling pranks behind you or him randomly wrapping his arms around you.

But you're on the other side of the country.

An offer you couldn't possibly lose, not even letting him know where you were. Him only knowing when the news had caught you fighting off villains in a city he can't just run to when he missed you. You knew that distance never fixed anything but at this point is there anything to be fixed? When laid out in front of you two are broken pieces of your own hearts. Scatted in cities where he remembers you by, scattered in his clothes that fit like a dress on you, scattered in streets making a path for you two to retrace your steps and fix what's happened. Hanging onto memories day by day. Trying to grasp a reality that was too good to be true.

All my demons have your smile

Unlike him, your surroundings were new.

Everything was new. You weren't stuck to suffer in the place where your love blossomed, the new environment insisting you to change but the way you saw couples and kids ticked you off to the very least.

December hasn't been this cold than you remember it. You shed a tear or two whenever you overheard one of the heroes ramble on how excited she was that she was engaged. It would've been 6 years with him by next month and a ring should've been placed in your very hands by now knowing the shared conversations you two had about marriage.

Saddened by the thought of it, you head home changing out of your hero clothes. You sat in the train, your exhaustion getting the best of you as you opened your eyes to see Bakugo sitting in front of you but as you blink he was gone. As the train goes under a tunnel, you look at the window as your memories play like some movie scene. You turn to look at the couples that surrounded you and your mind betrays you thinking of a girl that can make Bakugo happy like you did.

The darkness of the train enabled you to cry. You covered your face in your hands as you let out a sob. As a hero you couldn't care if people saw you like this, everyone had a breaking point. You've had enough of today. You continue to cry as you tighten the grip on your sweater and on the necklace that you wore.

"Who knew you could do things like this?" You teased as he taps your nose. You were set on his lap as he brings out a box. His hand caresses your cheek as he looks at you with love, love and nothing more.

"Shut it, dumbass. Now turn around." You rolled your eyes as you turned around, your back facing his chest. He sits up properly, gently moving your h/c aside as a cold piece of jewelry was placed around your neck. Once it was attached, Bakugo pressed light kisses on your shoulder as he whispers for you to face him. When you did, he smiled.

"You look amazing, Y/N." He says with pink painted cheeks. You blushed at his words your hand playing with the necklace.

"What's this for, Katsuki?" You asked as you intertwined your hands with his. He kisses the back of your hand as he looks at you.

"So you'll always have me."

As you wipe your tears, you felt a buzz in the pocket of your jeans. Picking it up the name "kiri<3" flashes before you. Sniffling a bit, you decided to answer.

"Kirishima? Is everything okay?"

Meanwhile on the other line, Bakugos breath hitched at the sound of you. It was another night where he dragged Kirishima to another bar and drown his feelings. He begged Kirishima to dial your number, just to hear it even if it wasn't meant for him.

"Hey Y/N! Sorry if I called a little later than expected, you doing okay? This is really random and unmanly-"

"Kiri it's fine! I'm fine yeah just heading home. How are you by the way?" Bakugo stays silent as he hears your voice. He missed it so much. He hadn't felt this desperate since you left.

"Well I'm doing fine too, Y/N. Guess I kinda just miss my partner in crime." You smiled at his words, finally feeling relieved after your session of crying.

"I miss you too, Eiji. How-"

"Y/N!" A familiar voice suddenly rushing to your ears as you sit up. It's him. Bakugo tries to steal the phone from Kirishima but Kirishima won't give it to him, thinking it was wrong for Bakugo to talk to you in a state like this.

"Bakugo-" The call ends before you can even say anything else. Kirishima sighs as Bakugo notices the call has ended.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR SHIT HEAD?!"

"WHY CAN'T YOU CALL HER ON YOUR OWN, BAKUGO!" Kirishima shouts. Bakugo is taken aback by his sudden burst of words. Bakugo stays silent as Kirishima puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

"If you love her why don't you call her yourself? Make some fucking plans with her, talk it out. You're suffering because you're weak enough to reach out to her. This would've been simple from the beginning when you actually had the balls to talk to her and apologize!"

"If you feels so shitty about Y/N leaving, we're her friends too you know. We also lost her. I always have your back Bakugo, but this time this is your problem." Kirishima leaves your apartment with a sigh of defeat as he glides over your phone number, texting a sorry before he went home. Bakugo had his head hung low, taking in every word he heard.

He's right. He thought.

You had a hand placed on your heart when you heard him. You figured that it didn't end well for Kirishima when the call ended. Your screen flashes before reading the message.

kiri<3: I'm really sorry about that Y/N, but I do miss you. we all do. especially bakugo.

When you were home, your hand traces over the blocked contact of your other half. You smile as you reread your past conversations. But as you hug your pillow shutting the device off, you felt your eyes close remembering the warmth you used to have when he slept beside you.

He came home from a patrol, promising to save as many as he can but ended up saving only half of what he intended to. The cries of people ringing in his ears. He felt low, unworthy, selfish, weak. He couldn't save them, he could've been better. Now he realizes the fear that grows on him that he can't always save you.

"What the fuck did you say, Katsuki?! You don't get to say shit like I'm not a hero like you! We're both fucking exhausted. I'm asking you for one, one day." You shout.

He wasn't as strong as you. He utters words that mean the complete opposite of what he wanted to say, even denying love when he first experienced it. So scared of feeling emotions since the only thing he relied on was himself. He is strong in battles, the thrill giving him life, excitement. This is what he wanted. To live the life of his idols, to surpass them and show them he meant every word when said he wanted to be #1. What he didn't want was a girl who held his heart with strings. Playing with his emotions, discovering the branches of love. Discovering how his world changed when he fell for the girl he could never reach. He didn't want his heart to be fragile. He wanted it to be tough and unbreakable, a barrier around it where no one can see through his sharp demeanor. But there she was. Breaking every barrier with ease. In this moment, his heart made barriers once again.

"I fucking meant it when I said I don't have any time to be with you anymore. I need to work, Y/N! Why cant you get that through your fucking skull" He shouts back, a finger to your forehead pushing you back. Your cheeks were from the anger that sprung to your spirits. Every part of you was aching with anger. Tears spilling from your eyes as he watches you.

"That's all you ever fucking do Katsuki! Do you just purposely forget that I also work hard and here I am asking for one night with my boyfriend and you're pushing me aside like I'm nothing to you!"

"Nothing?! Maybe you just don't fucking understand what I'm saying! I have my own shit to deal with and I can't always drop everything for your needy ass. Do you need me to pat you on the back for being a good hero? You shouldn't even call yourself a hero when I'm the reason you even made it this far, princess." You closed your eyes as your hands turned white from how much you were tightening them.

Y/N, don't believe it. Please. I'm begging you-

"OF COURSE YOU GOT ME HERE! Call me anything you want. Weak, laid back, unworthy, low, insecure, stupid, worthless, have at it but I'm fucking drowning in my own stress, shitty paper work and patrols. I am a hero. You don't get to fucking remove that title from me. While you got me here, you're forgetting all the shit I did for you!"

"The things you did for me? What, like love? That's nothing to me."

Love.

All the smiles you've given him. The moments where you made him realize that if he wasn't the #1 hero, the only thing that mattered him was you. The memories of you with your head on his shoulder enjoying the sunset while he talks about how much he loves you. The feeling of his hands intertwining with yours as you danced in your living room. The moment where he said he'd catch you no matter what. The moments where you would wake up to his kisses on your face. The feeling when you see him safe and sound as you hug him enjoying life when his love surrounded you. The feeling when you imagined yourself marrying the perfect man for you.The promises. Future plans. The kisses. Never ending hugs. 5 years with the person who made you the happiest, who made you determined, who made you feel like you can conquer anything, who made you believe in love even in the toughest ways.

It was all nothing.

You bite your lip as your head hung low. He hears your sobs and it wasn't enough for him to wake up from all this anger. He needed you just as much as you did, but in this moment he didn't realize it. He thought he needed a break, some silence to drown out the cries of the people he had left behind but now he can only hear his heart shattering. Piece by piece. Torn. With every word he says. With every glance he gives you, seeing you so hurt because of him. He bared no meaning to his words and he hopes you can see that he too needed saving but he notices the drop in your tone. Dull eyes, tear stained cheeks, unsteady breathing.

"I just w-wanted to be with you.. t-to be saved. To be saved from this asshole of a man claiming he loves but me pushes me away like dirt. A man who tells me an empty promise of always being there to catch me. Katsuki, was it all really nothing y-you?" He bites his lip before taking a step forward but you step back, life drained out of you. Every color saturated to liveliness was nothing but black and white now. Storms and heavy weather. Tears and broken hearts.

I can't do this.

"I just can't save you anymore." He whispers but you heard it clear as day. You let out the most painful sob as your knees give in, a thud to the floor as you cover your face in your hands. Now the fear in his head of him never saving you, he only faces the truth that he can't save everyone, even you. Your sobs echoed through the house as he turns around to wipe away his tears, a hand to his pained chest. As his back was turned to you, you left to go to your room. He notices your disappearance as he only sits on the couch, knowing the events that were to happen next. You grabbed a bag stuffing in whatever you could as you continued to release your sorrows. When you were finished you took a last good look on your room. The room where every nightmare was comforted with love, the room where secrets were shared, deep fears, everything. You take a deep breath before opening the door. You see him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

-

You both wake up with tears in your eyes as your head weighed a ton, making you grip your pillow with such force, completely unhappy you were greeted this way. You looked up at the mirror to see bags under your eyes, puff cheeks, and a version of you that you despised to see everyday.

Not a single glow of happiness.

You weren't ready to face another tiresome day at the agency but your limbs forced you to knowing it'd be another patrol then by the night some paperwork and then patrolling once again. His words replayed in your mind, still affecting you with how he belittled you as a hero. Sure, you couldn't save millions but you saved hundreds, even if you were on brim of your quirk affecting your mental state, you would still save thousands.

And it pains you that he doesn't even notice how your quirk affects your mental being.

It takes immense focus for you to portray what you needed, and it requires you to be sharp and quick with your mind. Yet, overusing it alters the reality you wanted. Your mind playing a sick game to your overall being, stuck in the darkest part of your mind, leading you the same night that started it all.

But he still wouldn't save you.

-

Bakugo had his vermilion eyes on the road, as the others discussed on the upcoming mission. He didn't even bother to pay interest on where they were going, more focused on fighting with the villain and finishing the job.

Maybe it was the hundredth time today where he thought about you.

He looks at the beautiful scenery in front of him, and his mind leads him to remember your smile and your features he loved to gaze his eyes on. Now, villains and explosions were the only things that clouded his vision or sometimes the sight of his companions, which didn't really help him.

Then the vehicle comes to a stop, his eyes landing on a store. Seen through the glass was a beautiful dress, painted in her favorite color, with the perfect length and dainty design. He smiles to himself, visualizing how stunning she'd look wearing it, especially seeing her skin looking so bright and healthy under the winter atmosphere.

She'd love that. He says to himself, feeling bittersweet that he wanted to buy it, but who would even wear it? He can't just give it to her without having a conversation. Even if it's been nearly a year, how can he prepare for something he avoided?

He steps out of the vehicle, feeling exhausted thinking about her. He hears his companions talk about splitting up so each hero wouldn't be suspected, he agrees with them, not even bothering to give them a snarky comment. He was too occupied with the thought of you in that splendid dress.

He wonders around the city, hands to his pockets. Especially in his hero costume, he received so many stares from the people. He'd either glare back at them or ignore them completely, but this time he just let them stare for as long as they liked. The only pair of eyes he wanted to land on him was yours, your ever stunning ones.

He remembers the moments where the sun beamed perfectly on your eyes, depicting the color with such grace and beauty. He remembers every memory where your eyes were gateways to your emotions, filled with such genuine and love. It even helped him at times where words weren't needed to express the way he felt. He loved how you managed to read him so easily, like a book she's memorized every page of. Even the slightest change in his tone, you were able to pick it up and soon interrogate him if he was okay.

He watches a couple who had boxes in their hands with smiles evident in their eyes and lips. He watches as the man gestures to help the girl but she declines walking ahead of him, he follows behind the girl making sure the boxes wouldn't fall.

"Katsuki stop!" She shouts with a giggle, he ignores her completely, pushing her slightly to make the boxes fall. She completely looses balance as the boxs fall on the floor. She gasps as she runs to punish the blonde as he quickly puts down the boxes as he runs away from her. You can hear her screaming profanities at the man as the couple runs around outside their house.

Bakugo hides from her, eyeing her from his secret spot. He takes the opportunity when he sees her completely confused he was gone, so he takes you by surprise by slinging you over his shoulders, chuckling at how she threw mild punches at his back.

"Babe! How are we gonna finish moving in our stuff!" She says with a laugh, still trying to beg for him to put her down. He spins around making her laugh even more as he sets her on the ground. The sun beams down on them, her eyes glowing so beautifully under the golden light. His hand reaches her cheeks, squishing it lightly as he smiles at her expression.

"Who said we even needed to finish it today? C'mon. We have the house all to ourselves." Katsuki says, as you sighed giving into him. He smirks to himself as he lifted you off the ground once again, swinging you over his shoulders too easily.

"Baby!"

His eyes wander elsewhere, feeling his chest tightening once again at the memories that resurface upon him.

After a long fight with a villain who kept scarring you with their weapon, your mind was completely going to collapse at any minute. You've been creating bullets and barriers for so long you didn't notice how other objects that you didn't need were suddenly made, dropping behind you. You can feel the throbbing pain of your head as you limped to the town. Random objects still were popping up every minute and it annoyed you how your quirk was out of your grasp.

(TW! Hallucination/Panic attack)

You simply wanted water and some first aid kit to make sure you make it to your agency but when you imagined the bottle of water, you immediately acted like it was created but it wasn't. All the things that you thought you made weren't there and you felt your eyes feel droopy as you let your hand hold onto the wall for support. It was starting to alter your reality, making it worse for you to think straight while your thoughts were all tied in loops from overusing it. Your vision blurring at the sight of people who were walking by.

Your mind was growing more and more explosive as you felt pain surround your head. You let out a scream as you felt every part of your head ache as unnecessary objects were still appearing beside you. This scream alerts the people but they chose not to gather around you, unsure what was happening. They were all muttering questions but this only added to the problem as you started panting, harshly closing your eyes trying to avoid any eye contact from them. You heard a loud shout before your mind completely goes blank, feeling like you were shot. It happened all too fast as you fall to your knees, mind empty and damaged, your system completely failing to support you as a person was seen pushing through the sea of people.

Then, their eyes met.

[allsassnoclass]

i hate that i didn't say hi in that last request. HI hazel what do you think about!! "MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER" for malum? that sounds like the malum i love!! love u <3

hello hello hello here you go!

Ficmas Day 4

Rating: General Audiences

Read on AO3

Christmas in London is very different from Christmas in Australia.  For one thing, there’s snow on the ground.  It’s not much, tramped over by boots and mixed with the dirt to create sludge along the streets, but it’s still present on the ground.  For another thing, it’s cold.  Australian temperatures can dip down in winter, but by December it’s warm again, summer sun heating skin from the moment you step outside.  It’s strange to be at the end of December and have to put on a coat outside.  It’s also a little colder than Australia ever gets, and Michael finds himself seeking out blankets inside the house and shoving beanies over his hair before he sets foot outside.

It’s also different because Liz is the only parent around.  All of them had to barter extensively with their parents to convince them to even let them come to London, and once they realized they probably wouldn’t have Christmas together it prompted a new flurry of discussions about the exact timeline of the move.  In the end, professional interest won out over familial traditions, and Michael isn’t upset about heading to London early, but he’s careful not to mention the ache of loneliness in his stomach when he calls home.

He’s not really lonely.  He has Calum, Luke, and Ashton, and Liz ensures that they all eat actual meals and get enough sleep and always have someone to turn to when they need a motherly hug.  They have a little fake tree with some lights and generic ornaments on it, and Liz has been snatching packages as soon as the post delivers them, shifty about the contents inside.  Michael isn’t worried about gifts, because being in London is his Christmas present, and it’s kind of nice to get the full Northern-Hemisphere-Winter-Experience shown in all of the movies.

It would be worse if he didn’t have Calum.  It would be worse if he didn’t have all of them, but Calum has always felt like home in a way that few other people ever will.  He’s been Michael’s best friend through thick and through thin, and he’s the one who brought Luke into their life and who’s agreement to do the band kick-started their process.  Michael can always count on him to cheer him up on bad days and share his happiness on good ones, and living in London is a lot like an extension of the sleepovers they’ve been having since before they hit double-digits.  The biggest difference is that they’re in separate beds rather than piled sleeping bags on the floor.

On Christmas Eve, Michael wakes up late and spends a long time laying in his bed, debating whether he should bother getting up or let himself melt into his mattress.  Luke and Liz had plans for the day that they had suggested dragging everyone else along for, but Luke’s bed is empty and Michael can’t hear other activity in the house, so they probably left already.  Michael doesn’t mind.  He’s been tramping around London a lot lately, and a day to recharge is fine with him.

When his stomach finally growls, he heaves himself out of bed, throwing back the covers and shivering at the change in air temperature.  He needs socks.  He needs long sleeves.  It's winter in England, and that is not conducive to getting out of bed right now.

He manages to find socks that smell clean and a t-shirt that seems passable.  Hunger pushes him towards the kitchen before an acceptable hoodie can be found, but he can always sneak into the other room and steal one of Calum's.  Calum's hoodies tend to be some of the most comfortable, and he guards them carefully.  He always lets Michael keep it on if he's caught wearing one, though, which is more than can be said for the other two.

Calum enters the kitchen once Michael's toast pops.  Michael has an irrational fear that the toaster popping will startle him bad enough to bite the tip of his tongue off, so he's partially thankful that Calum makes his appearance then and distracts him, even if his presence startles him more than the toast ever could.

"I didn't know you were home," he says in answer to Calum's raised eyebrows.

"Liz took Luke and Ashton.  They'll be gone all day."

"Doing what?"

Calum shrugs.  "I think Liz is still getting presents for the family to send for New Years and wanted Luke to help.  Ashton just likes being out of the house."

Ashton is probably trying to find gifts for his own family.  Michael already sent some kitschy souvenirs for his parents, although they haven’t reached Australia yet.  He'll get them something better later, when he actually figures out what they would appreciate.

"Toast?" he offers.

"I'm making noodles," Calum says.

"Can I have some?"

"Yeah, okay."

Michael hums and slumps against him.  Everyone should have a Calum in their lives.  He's a space heater and a chef and a great bassist rolled into one, and he's pretty low maintenance.  Michael only has to give him undying love to get all of the perks.

They keep a comfortable silence while Calum cooks and Michael eats, enjoying existing together rather than filling the air with mindless chit chat.  Michael takes a shower when he finishes his toast, and Calum has the noodles ready when he's done.  After lunch, they migrate to the living room, taking advantage of the empty house to finally play Fifa uninterrupted.  Calum wins more than Michael, but he's not mad about it however much he pretends to be.  Calum is often humble to a fault, so Michael is happy to let him rub these victories in his face.

Calum goes to check the mail while Michael gets more snacks.  He comes back with two packages, one that he distractedly puts on the couch and another that he looks at curiously.  It's bigger than a shoe box, taped together securely over some colorful paper.

"What's that?" Michael asks.

"From my mum," Calum says.  "Your mum sent Liz something."

"What?  What is it?"

"I don't know," Calum says.  "It's a crime to open someone else's mail."

"But it's from my mum."

"Maybe she and Liz gossip about you.  If it's meant for you, you'll get it tomorrow."

Michael pouts.  Calum is, unfortunately, very resistant to his pouting.  He also takes the package and makes Michael put it in Liz's room before Michael can get too curious and start shaking it.  He could still peak, but then he'd have to contend with Calum's disappointed face.  That's not something anyone should have to face on Christmas Eve.

"Michael!" Calum calls from the living room.  "Get out here!"

"Why?"

"Mum sent you something!"

Michael leaves the package on Liz's bed and tramps back to the living room.  Calum grins and holds up a dark blue sweater with two white stripes stretching around it.

"My mum knit you a jumper!"

"For me?" he asks.  Calum nods enthusiastically.

"Put it on," Calum says.  "She wants a picture."

He holds out the jumper, letting Michael slip his hands in the arms and helping him pull it over his head.  It's a little big, spacious and comfortable, and the yarn is soft.  Michael doesn't know the difference between any of the stitches, but they're fun and feel fancy.

"She said she made it big so we can grow into them."

Calum pulls another jumper out, just like Michael's except in green.  When he puts it on, Michael resists the urge to help fix his hair, unruly from the static.

"I can't believe your mum knit me a jumper," Michael says.

"She's going to do one for Luke and Ashton, too, but she wanted to get yours done quickly.  She said you're an ice cube in our winters, so she was worried about how you were handling this one."

Michael feels a rush of affection for Joy Hood.  The entire Hood family is his favorite family besides his own, even without considering the fact that Calum is his favorite person.

Calum snaps a selfie, tilting his phone so they both fit in frame.  Michael presses close, faces centimeters away, and ensures that his grin is bright and happy, trying to push as much gratitude into one picture as possible.  Calum doesn’t step away while he sends it and Michael once again leans against him.

“Tell her I love it,” he says, looping his arms around Calum’s waist.  He slips his hands under the hem of Calum’s shirt and presses them against his stomach, making him squirm and swear.

“Get your icicle hands off me!” he laughs, but Michael has a grip now and doesn’t let him go until they’re tumbling onto the couch in a tangled, giggly mess.

“Still want to play another round?” Calum asks once he catches his breath.  Michael considers it, but he can’t properly cuddle with Calum if he has to hold a game controller, so he shakes his head.

“Movie?” he suggests instead.  Calum shrugs and grabs the remote, shutting down the game and switching the input so they can browse through Netflix.  Michael stretches out and Calum fits himself against him, pulling a blanket from the back of the couch to cover their legs.  It’ll probably get too warm about thirty minutes into whatever they decide to watch, but for now it’s perfect.  Michael tucks himself lower into his sweater and pulls Calum closer to him, savoring every piece of warmth he can get.

[fymagnificentwomcn]

Leyla Feray was a perfect "Ayşe Sultan", Farah Zeynep is not that pretty plus the role of a sultana didn't suit her and of course Farya as a character sucks ! Still bitter about Tims's casting for Turhan Hatice and for how they portrayed her and she only appeared in 3 episodes Ibrahim's reign deserved its own season

I agree Anon. Harem didn’t play an important role during Murad’s reign, so to be honest I would be satisfied with having only Ayşe as a developed character. Harem during Ibrahim’s role played a HUGE role and the fact that we didn’t get all the harem dynamics of that period explored properly is my huge regret and I can bet show’s creators feel the same because they obviously planned for Season 3 devoted wholly to Ibrahim’s reign.. but such is Turkish TV market now and they still delivered a story of Kösem’s life that made sense, which is more you can tell of many TV shows nowadays, even those with huge budget and safe position like Game of Thrones that HBO would have likely prolonged as much as they could, but D&D were certain they had enough time to wrap everything up properly lol. So in those conditions,not knowing when they may get axed (and Turkish shows are filmed like two weeks in advance only), I still appreciate what they did… Now that my initial expectations about whole season of Turhan/Kösem rivalry, Ibrahim’s harem, Turhan of my dreams are more in past, I’m more able to appreciate what we got in that conditions eh.

Devoting so much time to Farya and Murya was HUGE mistake, since it didn’t save the ratings by bringing FZA’s fanbase etc., and it truly stole a lot of precious screentime later. The pacing issues are in MYK from start – back in S1 they introduced Beren earlier than planned and then rushed to end S1 with Kösem becoming regent because they weren’t sure they would get renewed. Maybe it’s crying over spilt milk now, especially since they are obviously aware that they had made a huge mistake – Farya’s screentime was clearly strongly reduced after 10 episodes and after she was removed, she was practically never mentioned again, like they pretended she had never existed lol.

Mhm I don’t think actresses’ appearance is of importance here, sultanas were normal girls, I know it is often assumed that they had to be pretty to captivate the padişah, but it was not always the case - Hürrem apparently wasn’t that conventionally pretty, but managed to charm Suleiman so much regardless. And each sultan had his own preferences. There isn’t something like “a sultana look”. I hear people talking “this actress is too pretty to play a subject, not a sultana” and I’m like ???? Royal blood doesn’t make you pretty either.

I think Leyla was absolutely fine. I liked her cutesy image in contrast to Murad’s violent nature. You can see why this girl “brought him peace” and why he ultimately destroyed her… just episode before she makes the big mistake and helps Gülbahar out, Murad threatens her to become her nightmare after Farya told him about her suspicions. She was soo scared, she was willing to do everything just not to face Mu/rat’s /spelling intentional/ wrath. And then she regretted what had done so much when she heard about people who suffered in the fire and wanted to fight Gülbahar as mother of Murad’s kids and his woman… and poor thing ultimately got exposed for wanting to fix things… #AyseDeservedBetter

I’m not satisifed with the Turhan we got, but after reading more stuff about Kösem vs Turhan conflict I’m now against the “Turhan was innocent cookie, who only jumped to her son’s defence” thing – it’s a clear example of “history being written by winners” thing. Turhan was definitely very good at propaganda – relationship between her and Ibrahim was surely tense and full of mutual dislike, and Mehmed ascending the throne and Ibrahim being dethroned surely was a good thing for her – yet in correspondence to statesmen that she wanted to bring to her side she described herself “as poor suffering widow, who just wants to punish those who killed her beloved husband”, among which she meant Kösem. There was even an occurrence when one of statesmen supporting Turhan went to Kösem to accuse her of killing Sultan Ibrahim and putting all blame on her, which reportedly shook Kösem very much. While Kösem likely did make moves to dethrone Mehmed, it’s very possible that the poisoning thing was invented by Turhan and her people to rally support. Reports put blame on “misinformation” on Suleiman Aga, who was treated as person inciting the showdown, but we know Suleiman Aga served Turhan, and it was a natural thing that servants of Imperial figures were blamed because nobody dared to accuse the actual Valide.

Turhan as Valide Sultan did not only manage harem, but was involved in state matters and the double rule often made it harder for Kösem to stabilise Empire. Turhan wasn’t deprived of being Valide Sultan; Kosem’s position was simply new & unprecedented and allowed her to be regent. While mothers began to play the role of regent recently (Kösem for Murad, Halime unofficially for Mustafa, Handan as co-regent together with Ahmed’s lala, even Mehmed III leaving the affairs in Safiye’s hands when he went on campaign to Hungary), there was no law on this and previously e.g. there was more inclination for Grand Vizier in this role.

In the end, they were both morally grey because while Kösem likely didn’t plan to poison Mehmed, of course there was always risk of him losing his life if any problems ensued following deposition, as the Ibrahim case showed.

Still, the innocent cookie defender of her son Turhan vs. evil hag Kösem narrative is not the true one.

We also must remember that:

Discretion prevented Ottoman writers from criticizing royal mothers (they did not record the hostile barbs directed by Ottoman statesmen at queen mothers and favorites which made their way into European accounts), but they did not hesitate to employ invective in he case of lesser women of the sultan’s harem. Naima, so careful to defend the young queen mother Turhan, criticized other concubines of the “mad” İbrahim with relish.

Taken from: Leslie Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Otoman Empire.

I’ve found some evidence for Turhan being groomed by Kösem and Turhan’s involvement in politics even during Ibrahim’s reign (namely in connection with the Crete war), so while we don’t know much about the relationship between the two women before Mehmed’s reign, there is some evidence supporting MYK’s direction. Leslie Peirce states that Kösem groomed Turhan and Thys-Senocak mentions that Atike chose and trained her.

However, as a new slave woman in the palace, a gift of Kör Süleyman Pasha to the valide sultan Kösem, she had been trained by Atike Sultan, a sister of Murad IV, and groomed by Kösem, who presented her to her son.

Taken from: Leslie Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Otoman Empire. Peirce also reiterates that Kösem groomed Turhan in her short article entitled Gender and Sexual Propriety in Ottoman Royal Women’s Patronage.

Training by Atike could be also on Kösem’s request, though we cannot say for certain Atike was Kösem’s daughter, but yet again Kösem seemed to pretty much take care of whole dynasty, not only her own children. It is interesting because the position of the mother of eldest son’s gained importance due to switch to seniority and we know for certain Turhan wasn’t Ibrahim’s favourite consort – but maybe again he was attracted to her at first and the relationship deteriorated later. Due to her being mother of eldest son, Turhan had to be aware that being Valide is in store for her, and Kösem also had to accept the fact.

The fact is that with four episodes the showrunners decided to focus more on the already established characters and Turhan got pretty much sacrificed for it – after all, it was Kösem’s story. I get what they did for abridged story purposes, but what I saw on screen did not reflect my imaginations of historical Turhan.

In the end, MYK Turhan represented an extreme version of a person brought up in Ottoman harem. She was completely cold and almost entirely devoid of human emotions, save in some scenes with her children or her sadness upon Ibrahim preferring other concubines. She was truly unscrupulous and desperate to get to the highest top aka becoming regent for her son, which meant he had to become padişah while he was still a minor. She truly wanted to have it all, even if she had a lot compared to other harem girls – she was a chief haseki with high position given to her by her mother-in-law, who truly treated her exceptionally compared to other Valides we saw – she shared her power with her, taught her political stuff and introduced her to political world, involving her in her own affairs and even taking her to secret councils with her. Kösem was undoubtedly aware that  in light of Ibrahim’s illness she had to keep the mother of eldest prince satisifed&feeling safe because padişah like Ibrahim was an easy target for deposition. Not only Turhan had safe position due to seniority succession rules – Kösem clearly supported her and wanted her to be her successor, e.g. backed her up in the Zarife conflict. Yes, Ibrahim had other favourites, but he was a weak sultan and he wasn’t interested in this stuff at all – he just wanted to have fun with other girls and ignored Turhan, but he wasn’t politically involved enough to try to prevent Turhan from becoming next Valide because he simply didn’t give a damn most of the time.

Turhan’s going against Kösem was a huge & risky gamble, also for her son.  It’s one thing to never trust anyone fully and be on your guard, and another to go on removing everyone, so whole rule is in your hands. While we know that relations between Ibrahim&Turhan were tense, there wasn’t any repeated pattern of abuse against her or their son – Ibrahim’s outburst and throwing Mehmed justifiably shook Turhan up, but it was clear it was one-time incident that stemmed more from Ibrahim’s illness than any sort of malice or sadism. He mostly simply ignored Turhan and didn’t want to spend time in her company. Perhaps Ibrahim being a weak padişah was also why Turhan looked at him with contempt because she couldn’t accept how this man stood higher in hierarchy than her, which wounded her pride additionally. Thus said, if her primary motive had been as she said fear of Ibrahim, I don’t think she would have gone against Kösem. Kösem was after all the person who defended her to Ibrahim, tried to calm him down with regards to Turhan and she obviously supported Turhan as next Valide. Additionally, when Kösem actually controlled Ibrahim and his behaviour – later Atike didn’t care, people who were trying to use him and make him crazier for their purposes achieved their goal. Turhan purposefully wanted to make him crazier and crazier to dethrone him and now she was in the palace without her biggest former supporter. Ibrahim was definitely in far worse mental condition after Kösem’s exile and Kemankeş’ removal. We got the taste of the danger when Ibrahim threatened to strangle Mehmed during the coup – and then we finally saw fear in Turhan’s eyes. But it was she who allowed the situation to boil down to this. Turhan’s backstabbing to Kösem wasn’t only a betrayal to a person who always supported her&did a lot to her (and it was something even Ibrahim highlighted after Kemankeş’ “execution” and since he also had beef with his mother at that point, it’s hard to take his words as biased), but also her sacrificing whole nation due to striving to make Ibrahim’s reign fail so much that he would be undoubtedly deposed.

Turhan’s final win isn’t so much a triumph of very well-thought-out long-term strategy, but luck, totally unscrupulous nature, not taking into account that any bystanders might be harmed, and Kösem making a fatal mistake in the end. Until the last stand, Kösem always managed to ultimately outsmart her, and Turhan’s final victory is only due to raw force, Kösem making a fatal mistake&Kuşçu’s betrayal for reasons Kösem didn’t deserve.

 In the end, Turhan and her people represented raw power which adheres to no rules or honour. Not only did they kill so many  innocent people, but also showed no rules in the final stand – Kösem is strangled on the harem floor and her body is plundered (a historical fact, sadly), and Turhan only stays on balcony with devilish smile over the slaughtered palace. Köprülü does not face the elderly Kemankeş himself, but waits until his people defeat him to slice his throat. Haci is also murdered in unnecessarily cruel way by having his neck twisted in front of Tuhan bearing her stone cold face as she usually does. Turhan was presented as pretty much extreme product of that system – someone who is always coldly calculating, showing little human emotions (maybe only towards her kids) and only focused on achieving one’s goal without any scruples, and is unable to bond with anyone other than her kids. Same with people surrounding her, there are no strong, touching & genuine relationships like in Kösem’s team, which is based on loyalty that may mean even paying with death for it. There’s strong friendship between Haci & Kösem, same with Kemankeş and Deli Hüseyin, Kösem and Kemankeş deeply and truly love each other until the end, Hüseyin also prefers to die than to support Turhan. Even Lalezar’s “betrayal” is only about not letting an innocent child die, not wanting to support Turhan or switch sides for her personal gain. In a way, Turhan functions as some symbol of end of Empire, same with the depressing final shots, which is also accentuated in Kösem’s final monologue: ‘The lights have gone out, no right, no left, no death, no back, no forward, no top, no bottom (…) ” . I can see the rationale – it was first and foremost Kösem’s story, moreover a story that needed to be abridged.

However, as I said, Turhan is a real-life historical figure that actually did good things for the Empire, continued Kösem’s legacy and had her achievements, that’s why historical Turhan can never be simply a destructive force in my mind, and it’s probably the highest divergence between historical figure and show figure I have in my mind as far as MY&MYK are concerned.

We see some glimpses of Turhan actually taking her responsibilities seriously in the final episode – she decides to spare Mehmed’s brothers (which actually serves pretty much as plot twist taking into account how her character has been portrayed) and declares she intends to take care of the state. Ironically, while Kösem paid for politically training Turhan & introducing her to political world with her life, at least even her ultimate enemy wanted to honour her legacy & obey anti-fratricide law & was prepared for ruling. It was a posthumous win for Kösem here.

Of course the way historical Turhan took power from Kösem was questionable – it was full of brutality, purges, and it’s hard to imagine it was all without knowledge of her and her closest associates. /Still we know that Turhan likely didn’t kill harem girls that served Kösem, but got them married off instead as Kumrular writes in her Kösem biography/. However, she also proved capable in taking care of state and dynasty and since Mehmed was pretty much an obedient momma’s boy, she had much easier task than Kösem to for example persuade him not to kill his brothers.. honestly, try to control someone like Murad, it was a huge success Kösem managed to save Ibrahim.

I think that the portrayal of Turhan and her people may stem from not only brutal purges that followed Kösem’s death, but also from the period after Turhan appointed Köprülü the Grand Vizier – Peirce compares some of his methods to Murad’s and this period to Murad’s reign. While it was Köprülü who used bloody methods, we can guess that Turhan would have not let him stay GV if she had not accepted it. It is curious how Turhan/Murad emerged a pretty popular crackship in MYK… I was always like “they gave us Turhan who seems like a perfect match for Murad”.. just that her ruthlessness does not stem from anger, but more from cold detachment (fire and ice LMAO). I know some like to refer to Turhan as “Iron Lady”, so I suppose it was  what MYK creators intended. /There is of course some anger in her too - when Ibrahim told her that she was just a coward hiding under his mother’s skirts… you just knew she would NEVER let it slide and prove to him & the rest of the world she didn’t need Kösem to stay on top./

The more I think the more I’d really love to see Müge Boz as Turhan, since Turhan wasdescribed as pretty unassuming and that was also why she was able to rally supporters. It would be cool to see Kösem facing a girl looking like young her, but not innocent… yet using her innocent image. And again we should have seen more of her showing care for state. I’m actually glad we didn’t get the simple Kösem turns into Safye and encounters an innocent Anastasia that we all expected. Now I think we needed something more complex, and as I mentioned it Kösem truly didn’t turn into Safiye, while many of Turhan’s actions (like mass slaughter in harem) resemble Safiye more – yet later her son is truly in danger, so there’s some rationale in that and we see some of Kösem’s legacy in her declaration to spare Mehmed’s brothers and take care of the state. 

Likely it was intentional to make Turhan so much like the opposite of innocent Nasya.

But in the end, while there are hints of Kösem legacy being preserved (Turhan clearly wants to obey anti-fratricide law), Turhan pretty much served as a symbol of future fall of Empire because the final images of slaughtered people and her smirking on balcony in her slay kween (pretty pretentious) attire, accompanied by the above mentioned monologue, pretty much give a glimpse of apocalypse. /And LBR she claimed she had started the whole conflict for her son… then why the fuck she stands shouting to “bend the knee or die” & “show no mercy” or grins on the balcony instead of sitting with her son or at least checking up on him?/

It’s kinda fitting end for Kösem story, where she was the protagonist, especially when we see how yellow filter & fairytale elements from first episodes of MYK (which gradually become less bright) to the total darkness and atmosphere of doom of final episode. Still, as I said, Turhan Sultan is a historical figure that deserves more.

In a way, we were by default robbed of a satisfying depiction of Turhan by the mere fact that Ibrahim’s regin was abridged to 4 episodes – we should have got her early days in harem, her growing up etc., but I think at this point I decided to stop crying over spilt milk, I think, even though the mere fact that some fake princess got 22 episodes and Turhan 4 is always gonna hurt.

- Joanna