#this fucking saga cracked me up

[kiwinatorwaffles]

meat trolley ?????????

[vampiresinforks]

MY FAVORITE TWILIGHT SAGA SCENES V. There's something you need to see.

[onesidedradiostatic]

a father figure Vox and Charlie dynamic would be funny asf

He already has the girl dad energy without even trying

But also imagine him being so suspicious of her?? Like she’s too nice she HAS to be hiding something

Then he realizes she’s just a genuinely good person and he can’t tell if he’s amused or slightly disturbed by it

All while Alastor is watching and having the time of his life (he keeps implying Charlie is actually hiding some huge evil scheme to confuse and get Vox to leave lol)

(reference to this ask)

LMAOOOOO alastor would do that just to fuck with him. question is would alastor just think vox is trying to spy on the hotel again and is just doing it in the stupidest way by trying to adopt charlie. like in my "alastor never knew about vox's feelings" eyes he wouldn't think vox is trying to parent trap with him. in fact the first fucking movie wouldn't even have come out in his time LMAO (neither in vox's but at least vox keeps up with modern shit)

meanwhile lucifer would be malding in the background wondering why everyone wants to be charlie's fucking dad

[notebookpapers]

If I was a twilight vampire I would simply move to weho & become a fashion influencer. like oh you mean my glitter? yeah that’s my brand babe that’s like my whole thing. Take it off? No babe that ruins the image. Never age? Why thank you, I’ve had some treatments done. why the fuck would they move to a small town where everyone knows everyone no one gives a shit in a big city just go to fucking new york

[saudebazi]

what a day filled with emotions so regular for winnie

[catiuskaa]

horny kitchen [not hell's this time].

SUMMARY: whenever you were home, he wasn’t. it wasn’t totally your fault if that had made you believe he was never home in the first place, but it sure had lead into an interesting meeting.

WC: 1.7k

CW: crack! felix and olivia as cupids (i love them), mentions of alcohol, mentions of the movie After: Ever Happy, slight Changlix showing up, drunken courage, nsfw! marking, dry humping.

REQUESTED! by annonie right here. i had fun, tysm, pookie!

[☆🔹🛋️🔹☆]

“Tell me you were kidding.”

You stared at Felix’s puzzled face, his hands on your shoulders, and Olivia passed her hands through her hair as she leaned against your room’s door, shutting it close.

“What— why would I lie?” You frowned, smiling in confussion. “I wasn’t kidding. We’ve just never really talked, and I only know one or two things about him.” You repeated, and watched as your friends both made the same exhasperated grin, and then shared a look that only them, brother and sister, were able to decipher.

“Your roomate, who’s basically famous in our college, who looks like— like that,” Olivia stated, stumbling on her words. “And you haven’t had a normal chat? Not even about the weather?”

You shrugged. “Not that I remember, no. He doesn’t look like he’s a fan of small talk.”

They had both stared at you with wide eyes when you opened the door and the figure of a tall man with short hair surprised you at the other side.

“Oh, right,” you had smiled, turning to introduce him to your friends. “He’s my roomate, Hyunjin. I texted you a while back to check if they could come over, remember?” You said softly at him, and he smiled, nodding.

“Right, yeah. Sorry that I can’t stay, I have someone waiting for me downstairs. It was nice to meet you.” He had greeted, as politely as he had smiled, and rushed to catch the elevator again.

And that had been it.

“God, he looks like a model.” Felix sighed as he took his jacket off, blinking slowly, as if trying to comprehend what he had seen. “He looks like he travels to Italy and France during fashion week. What the fuck, he looks like he knows when fashion week is.”

“He’s like a hundred times better than the last guy you dated,” Olivia chimed back, and you frowned at the mention of your ex. “Don’t look at me like that. Babe, tell me that at least you find him attractive.”

“Sure. He’s good looking.” Felix deadpanned at you, and you huffed. “Okay, fine! He’s really hot, yeah, I have eyes, you know?”

Olivia and Felix snickered, and you pouted, snickering too, grabbing a pillow from your bed and yeeting it at him.

“I didn’t come here to see you drool over Hyunjin, guys. It’s bad movie Sunday, and we have to watch After 4. I need this to finish soon.” You giggled cheekily.

“I’ll go get the shots!” Olivia smiled with enthusiasm as she went to grab three shot glasses and a bottle of cheap wine you kept.

“I thought we were gonna watch Twilight?” You saw Felix smile, taking his shoes of as he sat on the bed.

He rolled his eyes in amusment, faking pettiness while you turned on the computer and looked for the movie.

“Liv likes the saga, we can’t.” You chuckled. “Maybe she starts crying when Cedric Diggory starts pouring glitter over his face or something.”

“Have I heard disrespect against Robbert Pattinson?!” She yelled from the kitchen, and you two cackled loudly.

You settled your laptop on your desk and used your chair as a table to keep the glasses and wine on.

“Shot rules?” Olivia pondered, taking her shoes off and getting comfortable, much like Felix, who was stealing all the pillows and cushions and settling them behind his back.

“Seungmin said that a shot for every red flag was fine.” You shrugged.

“Seungmin watched After?” Olivia wondered in slight shock.

“Of course, he loves to complain about anything.” You mocked slyly. “But you guys aren’t driving back, right?”

Felix handled the movie blanket, hiding everything except his eyes and his nose under it.

“Bin has to drive this way to get home from the studio. He said he could take us.”

You smiled.

“Let’s get this over with,” Olivia chimed with a snicker.

[☆🔹🛋️🔹☆]

Tipsy could be an understatement. That, you had to admit. But only to yourself, because to your drunk mind, getting to that level of drunkness —just because of the walking red flag the love interest in the movie was— seemed a little lame on your side.

“‘m ok, livvie,” you smiled at Olivia and her skeptical look. “I won’t even drive.”

Changbin huffed in amusement, passing one of Felix’s arms over his shoulders as the very much freckled very much drunk man started pouting his lips.

“i wan’ kis, binn…” he blabbered messily.

“Why did we do a drinking game,” his sister mumbled, rubbing her eyes, clearly showing much more control on downing wine shots.

“Harvey burned his mom’s house! I mean, we clearly had to drink twice because of that.” Felix said in a hiccup, then clung back to Changbin.

You messily bid goodbye to the Lee brothers and the poor designated driver that carried Felix with Lix’s arm over his shoulder, closed the door and waddled back to your room.

The main issue movies like After had —aside from its preposterous attempt at trying to take itself seriously— was the copious amount of long and dull sex scenes.

Well. They seemed “dull” when you were sober.

But the thought of them brought naughty ideas to your just-a-bit-willy-nilly-tipsy body.

As if someone had been there staring at you, sitting in a dim-lit corner of your room, not bothering if it was late at night or if your door was wide open, your hands trailed down to the zip of your jeans, and you bit your lip, drunkily teasing yourself, lowering the fabric slowly down your hips, and letting it plop down on the floor with a soft thud.

The idea had been to take a step back and kick the clothing away, but you accidentally hit one of your bed’s legs, and cursed loudly, half because of the weirded out drunkness who had forgot that was there in the first place, but you shook it off, not actually in pain.

You shook your head, and continued with the frenzy, enticingly tickling your sides when reaching for your shirt and slowly took it off, letting it down next to your pants, as if leaving a happy trail that headed to your closet, one you opened and took an oversized shirt you usually wore to bed.

But sleeping with a bra on was not the smartest move. The clip started stining and the tag on its side started itching, so with a quick snap and a perky throw, you giggled, still a bit drunk, but starting to turn sober enough to start craving water.

You passed your oversized shirt over your head, turning to face your door when the long fabric covered your body.

Covered from a surprised and flustered pair of dark brown eyes, iris so dark that his pupils, blown out and enticing, almost devoured it whole.

“Hyun…jin?”

His hair was the messiest you had ever seen from him, dressed in his pj’s, some old blue squared-pattered pants that he got gifted a couple of Christmas ago. Solely the pants.

The waistband of his underwear, brand name staring at you like a deer in headlights. And even so, it wasn’t as intense as how that teasing little mole on his tummy.

Mmh. You wanted to kiss it.

“Ah… I uh…” he mumbled, messily so, enough for you to notice.

“Oh. Y’re drunk too.”

He smiled wryly, nodding.

It was a bit blank, how you two ended up in the kitchen. Your brain fuzzy, enjoying the alcohol that lingered in your system. Dazed, you feel two warm hands on your waist, and how they turn you around and sit you on the counter.

“Y’know?” Hyunjin smirks, and you notice you could almost taste the drinks he had taken from how close he was. “It’s s’weird how we never… uh… talk, mmh.”

Your breath hitches, his hands not leaving your waist, stroking and teasingly caressing underneath your shirt, that had ridden up from when you sat.

“Talk?” You mumble giddily.

“Yeah. It’s stupid. How can I live with someone so hot and barely say good morning?”

The way he states the sentence, as if it was something as factual and axiomatical as one plus one, baffles you almost as fast as the speed your cheeks turn red.

He snickers, watching you turn to putty in his hands. “I heard moans when I arrived.” The stupid movie. “For a moment, I thought it was you and it made me wild.”

Hyunjin leans his forehead against yours, his lips barely an inch away from temptation. You.

Cheekily, he moves even closer to the counter, until he’s slotted between your legs. He slides you over the counter, pressing you against him.

“Hyune…”

It’s a mumble, its slurred, and he drinks it up like he’s been thirsty for days. Neither of you are too sure of what’s happening, but it’s easy to say neither of you care enough about that now when his lips find yours.

Like he said, wild. You can’t be sure if it’s the moonlight that hits him from the kitchen’s window of the alcohol that gives him such freedom to kiss you in a way that, for a second, you feel like he’s going to eat you alive.

But he’s got it clear. He needs you, he’s been waiting for the moment you two would finally speak like human beings and stop behaving like robots who share comparments, barely addressing the other. He’s sick and tired of it, tired of waiting, and sick, because he’s been craving you for what seems like weeks, even months, and Hyunjin knows he can’t hold back any longer.

You’re both drunk, and maybe you shouldn’t, but how could he stop when you drop from the counter and his thigh fits perfectly between your legs? How could he stop, when he wants nothing but to tore your shirt to shreds and mark as much skin as he can see? How could he stop, when he’s been waiting for so long to let go?

“A-ah, Hyun…”

And he’s gone. One little whimper from you, and he knows that one thing’s for sure.

He’s not stopping until you come for him for the night.

Besides. There’s plenty other nights to keep having more fun.

[☆🔹🛋️🔹☆]

~kats, who in reality should be tiding up her room, but will most definetely keep reading the pjo pdf she found.

catiuskaa, september 2024

PERMANENT TAGLIST! @stayconnecteed @lyramundana

[erenfox]

RANKING SBG SHIPS BECAUSE LOKI GAVE US ALL FREE WILL 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

Aidlyn/Ashden: good lord the chemistry. the 'he fell first but she fell harder' trope. the lil gestures by aiden. him annoying tf out of her but also becoming very caring when she's hurt. I'M SO CALM RN GUYS. and the fact that them ending up together is inevitable lmfao XD 9/10

Benlor: FUCKKK IM SERIOUSLY NOT OK THESE TWO ARE JUST SO PURE AND SWEET TO EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY TAYLOR TOWARDS HIM, cuz he kinda suppresses his feelings and is a sad boi :( dw ben taylor's gonna make you feel happy again fosho lmao 😭 the lil blushing ben always does around taylor! her supporting his ideas even tho they flop! her helping him calm down from barron through music! her always cheering him up whenever he's gloomy! her being the first to thank him for opening up! THEY'RE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF SHE FELL FIRST BUT HE FELL HARDER! GOD IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM 😭😭😭 10/10

Tylenol/Tylo: i never thought of the prospect of them together, but post tumblr i must say its interesting. not just them being the single ones in the team, but i like the way tyler defended logan against barron, and his general protective aura around logan. but then again tyler was kinda rude to logan in the start. idk it just gives me the ick 4/10

Tyden: LMAO the continuous saga of them pissing tf out of each other. it would be fuckin hilarious if they somehow end up together. but apart from the general hilarious bickering, there's not too much to it 5/10

Tayden: goddamn their friendship is so precious!! her painting his nails? her carrying him on his shoulders in dat one artwork?PURE BESTIE VIBES they just match each other's freak lmfao. 8/10

Logden: meh there are not any significant moments between these two. 1/10

Loglor/Taygan: no but why can i actually see this happening lol. the way theyre both so gentle around each other! then the way she was the first to help him when he got slashed by the phantom? and also the way she stood up for him when tyler was being rude? AND the lil hugs they give each other which none of the duos in the gang give? Cute af! 7/10

Benlyn: ooh the two quiet people of the gang! they could work out really well bcoz they definitely understand each other's struggles with muteness and phantom hearing respectively. plus that panel of ben braiding ashlyn's hair was so cute lmao :> 7/10

Loglyn: AAA they have sm potential!!! before the events of yk the whole ✨sAvAnNaH✨ mess, i feel like they wouldve been each other's only existing acquaintance they may call friends (ik it's not canon but it's very plausible lol) 6/10

Benlo/Logben: theyd definitely be good together, it's just that my sbg memory is failing to recall any significant moments b/w them ;-; if y'all remember pls do tell 2/10

Tyben: what is with the hernandez siblings always ending up being bens biggest supporters lmao XD it's a cute dynamic honestly 4/10

Taylyn: now this is one freakin adorable ship TvT. the way taylor always had a slight pang of concern for a friendless lonely ashlyn when they were kids? and the way they quite frankly became besties after enduring all the phantom world shit? very sweet, both platonic and romantic lmao 6/10

Tylyn/Ashler: i have been usurped into the tylyn propaganda by @tragedry honestly I DO NOT COMPLAIN. like holy fuck they're so enemies to lovers! them "loathing" each other, fighting for leadership, but then immediately becoming possibly the biggest protectors of each other in times of danger??? extremely wholesome lmao i love them smmm 9/10

SO THE TOP SHIPS ARE:

4. tie b/w TAYGAN and BENLYN (the rarepairs that just make sense) 😌👌

3. TAYDEN (the crack ship) 😈🔥🥉

2. tie b/w TYLYN and AIDLYN (the wholesome ships) 😍❗🥈

1. BENLOR (THE PUREST SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE GOOFS EVERR I-) 🥺❤🥇

[sera8273]

Despite how fucking heartbreaking and full of comfort the Ithaca Saga is, It cracks me up every time I think about.

Because from the literal Viewer’s perspective, you gotta admit…

Not only did Odysseus, oh I don’t know-

Blinded a God’s son whist making a joke about his one singular eye, proceeded to escape said God from potential death and then when he did infact die from him he then got revived, used a jet pack to beat his ass and fucking torture the said god until he pleaded for fucking mercy-

But he, after all of that, uses the same tactic that Scylla uses, going after the torches, to defeat the suitors and kill them all off.

The same Scylla that not only killed his men that he allowed but the same one that Poseidon is scared of-

Siren Penelope confirms this! “He will chase you high and low, so find a place he’ll never go. The one way you’ll get home is sailing where he’s scared to go.”

I understand that it’s more of a metaphor and he’ll never go there because oh hey reasons of pride and shit but taking this to another perspective makes this funnier, for me atleast-

[cherrysturn1olo]

rewritten love

warnings: toxic rls, shouting, argument, swearing, mentions of cheating, italic is foreshadowing

"Letting go of someone you love is hard but holding on to someone who acts like they don't feel the same is harder”

"you say that all too much you always say 'I didn't mean to or 'it's not on purpose' but do you know what I think y/n" he shouts giving you no time to respond before saying "I think you're just a fucking mess, a complete and utter disaster, and I'm here, stuck with you." His words cut deeper than a knife, each syllable slicing | into your heart a little more "I fucking hate being stuck with you, I hate everything about you" he says his words echoing through your head your eyes gleaming with unshed tears "do you want me to leave, if it'll spare you from this misery I may as well leave" you say your voice cracking and without even thinking about it matt shouts "yes I want you to leave! I want you out of my sight, out of my life, out of my goddamn mind! Get out! Leave! Now!"

I freeze for a second the reality of the situation hitting me like a truck, he's breaking up with me. The man I fell in love at 16. He's telling me to leave. I turn away from him head hanging low as I walk up the stairs, to our bedroom picking up my beige duffle bag off the floor packing a few necessities that I'll need: a change of clothes, money deodorant, and a few bottles of water. Once I got downstairs and tied my shoes, zipped my jacket I look at matt, no sign of regret in his face. I slip my wedding ring off my finger putting it on the cabinet outside our front door. "I love you" I mumble under my breath before walking out the door closing it softly behind me.

end of foreshadowing

The comforting smell of pumpkin spice candles fill the room creating a cosy environment as well as the warm glow of the lamp on my coffee table. It was the kind of night where the rush of the city streets wasn't as hectic. At least for me. And for him matt, my high school sweetheart, people tell me teenage love doesn't exist, but me and matt had proved that opinion wrong. We met at 13, started dating at 16 and here we are at 21 sat on the couch of our shared apartment watching the movie saga I had grown obsessed with over my teenage years (twilight), our pet cat bubbles snuggled up beside me. I loved nights like this, just quiet, enjoying each other's company not a worry in the world. He looks at me as the all to familiar intro of the film plays "seriously twilight again" he jokes putting his arm around me pulling me closer "I remember the first time you mentioned this film, you sounded like it was the highlight of your existence" he chuckles sofitly the sound id grown to love so much. "I love these movies so much Id rewatch it weekly when I was like 14, honestly anything that reminds me of twilight. Oh my god we should move to forks." I say my voice bubbly and excited "youd do that? I thought you liked ther city" matt asked his tone soft. “i’d love to live somewhere like forks, quiet, full of nature..it doesn’t even have to be in forks just somewhere like it” matt smiles at my sentance “we could look into that” he says with a smile on his face suddenly there’s a knock at the door i go to open it and it’s a girl. who looks around my age and she speaks, “is matt here?” i frown “yeah why” i ask “he’s supposed to be taking me on a date” the colour drains from my face and i turn to matt who was walking up to me “i never, i don’t even recognise this girl?” he says confused. she takes out her phone and shows a picture of her and matt. i feel enraged as i turn to matt and frown “care to explain yourself?”

HI GUYS lmk if you w a pt2

[nexxocatt]

THUNDER SAGA & WISDOM SAGA RANTS!!

Genuinely how can I live my life normally after this. Like,, HOW.

Anyway,,,

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

TWs/CWs: swearing, mentions of violence and death ig. If you're uncomfortable click off any time!

And without further ado, let's gooo!!

THUNDER SAGA

- Gosh, 'Suffering' is maybe probably most definitely my second fav song (after 'Thunder Bringer' ofc) in this saga. It's just so GOOD UGHH!!! I'm utterly OBSESSED with whoever voices Penelope/Siren Penelope cause they just sound ETHEREAL. Also the amount of memes with the "You know I'm too shy" is astounding. Def my fav part of the song.

- I hc that Ody, in 'Different Beast', when he said "You are no wife of mine!" that he pulled an "erm, actually-" and basically: "Nah cuz you got a few details ab my wife wrong, homie. You see, her ponytail's tips actually reach 3.5 cm lower than that, plus you got the shade of her eye color wrong. And gods she'd never wear that tunic without matching earrings!" Homie's obsessed lmao.

- Oh. My. God. KJ. KJ! THE ABSOLUTE QUEEN GAHH!!! The fucking growl Scylla had on "Give up your honor and wraith!" Made me literally almost fall over. I had a ton of fun just dancing to KJ's vocals. My GOD that's beautiful💯💯

- Tell me y'all can hear the absolute desperation in Eury's voice at the start😭 bro does NOT wanna believe his home bro Ody just gave up six men's lives like that. Also not Jay bringing back the "This is the home of the wind god" bullshit like pls I cried enough at 'Monster'😭😭 And not Eury turning Ody's words around by saying "I'M JUST A MAN!" then stabbing a cow, like HOMIE. WHY.

- Here comes Zeus the party crasher everyone! Yippee! But no, seriously, I've had 'Thunder Bringer' stuck in my head for a while cuz my boy Luke Holt's vocals be giving me shivers. Imma cry cause the absolute pain and crack in Ody's voice when he says "I know..." like,, 😭😭 Also the animatics where the crew just attacks Ody and the dude just accepts his fate are CRIMINAL. Ain't nobody asking me to cry today bro🙏🙏

WISDOM SAGA

- Gotta be my fav saga yet. The "Watchu gonna do about it, champ?" line was delivered PERFECTLY🙌🙌 Ayron is the absolute Top G. Also Miguel's voice for Telemachus is just UGHH SO GOOD!!! Also Tele be like: "STAY BEHIND ME MOM I'LL PROTECT YOU!!🤺🤺🤺"

- Let's fucking go Athena is back on track, baby! Literally LOVE both hers and Antinuos' vocals. They were ON. TOP. I couldn't help but giggle at Tele's "Woah,, that is so sick!!" Like he's my baby boy I love him smmmm!!!

- I ain't got no shit on Athena no more. Home girl's just guilty frfr. "You're a good kid." "Thanks!" AHHHH THEM>>> Anyway, great song. I love Athena now. I don't hold no grudge against her anymore, no siree. She my homie now💪💪

- WANGUI. THE LEGEND FRFR. They could never make me like Calypso but Barbara served. I listened to 'Love In Paradise' on my headphones and did not expect to hear Polites' voice in my left ear and Eury's in my right😭😭 The time-dive was LEGENDARY (haha.) and Ody's screams then him just yelling "ATHENA!!" cause he doesn't have anyone else to call for help was heartbreaking 💔

- Ahhh the fact that Jorge got his dad to voice Hephaestus is so cute <33 And Mr. PAM-PAM was right. Luke Holt's BEASTMODE ZEUS IS PHENOMENAL. I adored the transition between 'Warrior Of The Mind' and 'Legenday' after Zeus supposedly struck Athena down, which were – by the looks of the animatic shown in the livestream – the memories that got the goddess determined to stand back up💪💪 The way Ares' voice almost broke when he asked "Is she dead..?" broke me like😭😭 And whoever voices Hera is an absolute legend how the fuck is your voice that HEAVENLY😳

Also pls let the 'Silly Saga' be a thing, I had all the vids from Jorge's Disney Princess Era plus the Jimmy Neutron specials stuck inside my head non-stop for daysss🙏

Ooh and if we're lucky (and Jorge wants to ofc) maybe we'll get an album with cut songs! That would be amazing!! No pressure for the team tho, whatever they choose will be respected by everyone!

Also guys dw Athena's not dead, goddesses can't die you silly geese🙃 She's just injured n I'm absolutely sure we'll hear more of her in the upcoming Sagas! ^^

That's all for now! Take care y'all!! Stream the Wisdom Saga NYEOW👿👺!!!!

[agentcalypso]

my (mostly) coherent thoughts on the wisdom saga

written during first listen/the livestream this time bc i have shit to do tmrw so forgive me if i miss some stuff (will prob do a part 2 once i have a spare hour or so)

(also spoilers)

𓅓 LEGENDARY 𓅓

first off there were over 100k ppl in the livestream by the time the saga started which i think is a record so good job winions

MICO's voice fits telemachus SO well its not even funny

and like he also has a bit of jorge's voice in him and it's just. augh /pos

the L-L-L-L-Legendary :D

ok but you can hear his voice get just the tiniest bit softer when he starts talking abt the suitors/penelope

ARGOS :DDDDDDDD

MAN OF THE HOUSE

also the animatics are SO GOOD

ANTINOUS YOU BITCH /POS

"WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT CHAMP?" LMAOOO

12/10

𓅓 LITTLE WOLF 𓅓

THE ART??? HELLO??????

i hate antinous /pos

but also his voice is sooooooooooo good

this. this is just street fighter (/pos)

ATHENA WITH THE QUICK THOUGHT

"Whoa, this is so sick!" i love him <3

god teagan sounds sooooooooo good

i did not expect him to lose but it makes sense so im not complaining

10/10

𓅓 WE'LL BE FINE 𓅓

athena looks so pretty in the art omg

athena opening up? holy shit

"my time with you's been splendid, the best day of my life" telemachus you got beatne to a pulp are you okay

i like the new lyrics for telemachus' part better tbh

TELEMACHUS FALLING THROUGH HER LMAO

9/10

𓅓 LOVE IN PARADISE 𓅓

THE TIME DIIIIIIIIIVE

gigi hitting HARD with the animatics again

CALYPSO'S FACE WHEN HE TALKS ABT PENELOPE LMAO

also calypso's animation is so flowy i love it

"last i checked goddesses can't die ^_^"

it was at this point the livestream died for "policy violations" i think youtube just hates us

pov: you are in the epic the musical discord at 11:44 p.m. EST

THE OG STREAM WENT FROM 110K TO 4.6K IN LIKE THREE MINUTES LMAO

i came into the new stream to jorge cackling like mad and i think that sums up the general energy of my reaction to this whole saga pretty well

the glowy effects on her are so cooooool

damn poor ody :(

fuck you jorge /pos

"i have to see her" vs. "he needs my help" pick you poison

10/10 -1 point for youtube being a little shit /neg

𓅓 GOD GAMES 𓅓

luke. just luke

wolfy animatic :D

the harp strings are so fun

love hephaestus' animation omg

also hephaestus being voiced by jorge's dad is so cool :D

aphrodite. that's it that's the post <3

i still maintain that you can do the camp rock march to ares' part idc

ATHENA DANCING LMAO

BEAST MODE ZEUS HOLY S H I T THE GROWL

"is she dead?!" i love him but yea there's a reason ares isn't the smart war god

THE FLASHBACK??????? HELLO???????? I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS

OH SHIT ARES WAS RIGHT

12/10

in conclusion idk what kind of crack got put in this saga specifically but consider me hooked

[midnightcrisisstuff]

two asexuals making out: a saga

has pretty girl on lap

pretty girl goes in for kiss

realises that I can hipthrust her weight

hipthrusts her weight a couple of times

this causes laughter

I slide down on the couch and we start laughing even more

she gets distracted by my rings and realises one of them is spinny

she then proceeds to spin the spinny ring

we adjust and my knees crack very loudly

after laughing about that, she drags my hoodie onto my face in an attempt to blind me? I think?

she then immidiately gets amused by the fact that my (fluffy and curly) hair shrinks when it is put into a hood

proceeds to flick the hood on and off my head in amusement, and then records it so I can see

we then realise the irony of this situation in that she sat down to make out with me and it's been about 20 minutes of us just laughing

"this is the tumblr rep we've always wanted"

"two asexuals in a room. they might make out if they can stop laughing first"

I decide "fuck it, let's tell tumblr"

I pull out my phone to make a post

she asks me if I have any regrets, leaning in to kiss me

I get reminded of the "We're the Millers" "no ragrets" scene and start quoting it

she gets really confused and I get out YouTube to show her the clip

we watch the 2:30 minute clip

I then ask if she wants me to explain the plot of the movie

she says yes and I, in detail, explain the plot of "We're The Millers", including the weed baby

I then get back on tumblr to make this post

we gave up. after half an hour, she climbed off my lap and showed me a red vs blue clip.

happy pride lmao!

[digenerate-trash]

Yan bailey vs robin can just be the final part of the saga before the next season next year (kidding unless you want to start a new one lmao)

YAN BAILEY VS WHITNEY

Bailey VS Whitney feeds me. Thank you for the food. (And the ask. I don't say this enough I fucking love asks!!!)

AMAB Bailey | AMAB Whitney

Bailey could hear it. The stomp of boots the rattling of those stupid wallet chains. The scrape of heavy rings against peeling wallpaper. He almost wanted to duck out of his office and smash his head through a glass window. But by the time he was seriously considering it, it was too late. The door to his office slammed open the handle smashing into the wall. Bailey sighed. More fucking repairs...

The blonde boy looked smug as he looked over Bailey's office. Everything in here was poorly taken care of, including Bailey. 

"Hey, pops-" Whitney stated taking a seat in the chair opposite Bailey. Making sure to manspread as far as possible just to get on the old man's nerves. "Have you seen my slut around- it's been a couple of days. And, I don't want to be crass but-" Whitney trailed off smirking

Bailey almost collapsed into his own hands. He was too tired for this bullshit. He had work and priorities and budgeting. He didn't have time to entertain a kid he was not in charge of-

"Check the brothel if you want your needs met," Bailey says taking another piece of paper and attempting to file it without looking at Whitney. 

"I don't think the brothel is going to cut it. I've grown accustomed to this particular slut." Whitney says he stretches a bit more before he sits forward in the chair and looks at Bailey. Looking for something...

Bailey doesn't budge though and goes about his work "Not my problem." He retorts but Whitney doesn't seem to like that answer. He's getting less and less playful as the conversation goes on.

Whitney pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his jacket pocket and slams it on Bailey's desk. "I need to know where they are," Whitney says his tone is darker as he glares at Bailey. 

The poster is grainy. It looks like Whitney made it himself. It's the school picture of you. With your name and a number under it. "MISSING" is written at the very top and it rubs Bailey the wrong way.

After all. You're not missing.

Bailey takes the poster and throws it out swiftly. "Haven't seen them. Sorry-" Bailey offers. But Whitney only lets out a growl. It's like he can smell the lie on Bailey. 

Whitney cracks his knuckles with the heavy rings on them a clear threat and Bailey doesn't like where Whitney's arrogance and cocky attitude is leading them. 

When Whitney throws the first punch Bailey grabs his fist slamming it into the desk and holding it there before pressing the sharp side of his scissors into Whitney's throat. 

Bailey is quick and precise with his actions. He has to be after all with all the freaks in this town. 

whitney and Bailey glare at each other as they sit there in silence. Bailey finally lets go of Whitney and sits back down. 

"Listen. I don't know where they are. But I know when they're scared they head to the woods. Maybe check there." Bailey finally says looking up at the boy.

Whitney dusts himself off and shoves his hands into his pockets he nods at Bailey before he backs off and leaves Bailey's office. Leaving the door annoyingly open on his way out. 

Bailey knows that only one person lives in the woods. And if he's really lucky. Whitney will never bother him again.

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

gert's masterlist of 2023 ted lasso fics! which is. all my ted lasso fics lol

there are so many here buckle up

crack/primarily humor fics:

semaphore - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Four bracelets and thirteen mugs later, Colin might have finally gotten the hint. Because it was directly pointed out by a crowd of himbos, but you know, still! We got there! Right?! Right?!

birds of a feather - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin (Gen)

Colin notices Trent's mug, alright. (Or: Trent's increasingly less subtle attempts at broadcasting that he is a Safe Person and Also Queer do reach Colin, but Colin gets the wrong message.) (It could be worse. He could have thought Trent was flirting.)

exercising restraint - rated: E - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; ft Diamond Dogs

Following a fun and informative encounter with his favorite ex-journalist, Ted has a rather uncomfortable meeting with the Diamond Dogs. Featuring: Trent Crimm and the be-catted bag, Leslie Higgins knowing a lot about BDSM, Roy Kent being the world's most unwilling participant in this conversation, and Beard being Beard.

☆ Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Richmond Ensemble

In the locker room, Coach Lasso kisses their resident emotional support biographer, casual-as-you-please, and then leaves like nothing happened. Chaos ensues and the entirety of the club somehow gets involved. Trent wishes for the sweet release of death.

a preacher, a bikini, and a kiss or two - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs, ft Will

The Diamond Dogs discuss first kisses. This leads to… a series of events sure does happen. And did happen.

☆ Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't) - rated: M - chapters: 13/13 - Trent/Ted; Richmond Ensemble

A series of bizarre, loosely related events occur, all kicked off by Trent absently mentioning that he may or may not have once hooked up with Rupert Mannion.

☆ painting the town richmond blue - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Trent's ex-wife

Ted Lasso unexpectedly runs into a very drunk Trent Crimm (the Independent), along with his equally drunk ex-wife. They're having a GREAT time. Ted is… pulled along for the ride.

Trent and the Vampire! - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin; Trent/Ted

Trent has a truly stupid amount of hickeys to hide thanks to SOMEONE. (Ted is unrepentant and he WILL do it again.)

The Portal Incident™ - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Press Room

It's a lovely day in the Richmond press room, and you are a horrible portal.

best seat in the office - rated: E - chapters: 6/6 + an additional snippet - Trent/Ted; Roy and Beard - note: some chapters lean more Smut, Angst, etc

Trent has many problems (chronically low self-esteem, deeply hopeless crush on co-worker, being helplessly attracted to said co-worker) and the bizarre lack of chairs ain't one. He can just sit on his desk—he's sat in stranger places. That is, until Ted somewhat jokingly offers his lap as a replacement. Trent immediately falls off the desk. For additional snippet: In which Ted just asked.

the two ring circus - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs

[sent] – Lara, do you remember being lectured on the dangers of peer pressure? lara<3 – Aw has someone offered you a cigarette :) [sent] – a large swathe of richmond staff is trying to make me get nipple piercings :( lara<3 – trent what the fuck does that mean

snippets:

The Thumbs Up Saga - [part one] [part two] - Trent & OCs; ft Trent/Ted

of throuples and genders - Ted/Trent/Rebecca; ft Roy/Keeley/Jamie

Ted Kisses Trent In Front Of A Business Of Journalists For Probably Just Mischief Reasons - Trent/Ted

Trent's into how much of a bastard Ted is unfortunately - Pre Trent/Ted

Similar to that one: Trent's into Ted cursing (specifically in how much of a bastard he is about it) unfortunately - Pre Trent/Ted

☆ A weird alternate meeting/pre-canon meet-cute - [main] [additional snippet] - Trent/Ted; Beard [POV Outsider for second one]

Trent embarrasses himself in front of Michelle and it's cute - Ted/Trent; Michelle

☆ Ridiculous FMK Games - Diamond Dogs; ft Trent/Ted (could be interpreted as some combination of Ted/Trent/Roy/Beard if you want); also ft Colin

oops rebecca made them kiss - Trent/Ted; Rebecca [season one!]

Trent Crimm Is Fuckable! Everyone Agrees - Trent/Ted; Ensemble

Check time travel AUs section for those lol

smut fics (Rated E)

the best ones; primarily smut

☆☆ off the record - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Intrepid reporter Trent Crimm earns his scoop.

☆☆ trick & treat - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

In which a relatively harmless prank causes everyone at the Richmond Halloween party to be somewhat transformed into their Halloween costume. The charm is supposed to be fun. And it is! Really, it is! It's just that it really is effected by your mindset and by what you like about the costume, and Trent is--well, Trent's leaving the party early. He swears he wasn't thinking about this when he chose his costume. It's just. He saw Ted's costume and a few fantasies may have gotten away from him a little. Which would have been harmless, had it not been for all this. OR: Some deeply, deeply silly and contrived Halloween smut. Read the tags for more details.

☆ snippet: embarrassing venom au - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Uh oh sisters it's the deeply embarrassing CRACK VENOM AU NO ONE ASKED FOR!! Everyone clap and cheer Trent has an alien inside him if ya know what i m--

snippet: "desperation" + sub trent - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

diversity win! your journalist is now a sub [For the prompt "Desperation"]

a wonderful wreck - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Ted, while tipsy as hell, realizes he's bisexual, has a drunken hookup with Trent Crimm, wakes up, and then is… weirdly chill about all of this, considering.

sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell) - chapters: 1/4 - Trent/Ted

Trent has a hard time letting go--at least, letting go completely. He learns a little at a time. Or: 3 times Trent is on top, one way or another, and 1 time he gets utterly railed.

other works:

snippet: coach sandwich - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted/Beard - CRACK

Beard joins Ted and Trent for a threesome in the funniest, stupidest way possible.

☆ an odd sort of comfort - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted - Kinda angsty/pensive but sweet

There's a fantasy Trent has that he tries not to touch. He fails.

oh, in the strangest dreams - chapters: 1/1 + additional Roy POV - Trent/Ted - CRACK

Ted and Trent are both feeling weird about all the extremely vivid sex dreams they keep having about each other, completely unaware of the fact they are, in fact, the same dreams. Shenanigans ensue.

some specific AUs/groups

time travel AU snippets:

s3 Roy & s1 Trent - Serious; Angst - Trent & Roy

s3 Roy & s3 Trent; ft Press Room - Crack/Humor - Trent & Roy

s3 counterparts confuse s1 counterparts - Ensemble (Trent, Ted, Beard, Roy, Rebecca); ft Trent/Ted

☆☆ superhero AU - Trent/Ted; ft Beard:

Main fic

Ted POV

just specifically ships other than Trent/Ted:

snippet: ROY IS NOT TRENT'S SUGAR DADDY SHUT THE FUCK UP - rated: E - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Roy

"I can't believe Roy Kent is your sugar daddy," his ex-wife says, and he flings an aptly named throw pillow at her. Which she dodges with a cackle.

see aforementioned snippet: of throuples and genders - Ted/Trent/Rebecca (ft Jamie/Roy/Keeley)

basically crack wherein these two groups make jokes about gender among other things

also see aforementioned snippet: coach sandwich - Ted/Trent/Beard

Beard joins Ted and Trent for a threesome in the funniest, stupidest way possible.

☆ "caught in the middle" - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Ted/Trent/Beard

Uh oh, there's only one bed! Ft. Trent desperately needing a hug.

☆ "helpless in a game of kisses" - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Ted/Trent/Beard

Ted and Beard argue over who is a better kisser, as homies do. Trent is somehow made the referee. Surely this won't be weird at all. Or: How to break Trent Crimm's heart with seven simple kisses. And fix it with a few more.

primarily angst/more serious fics (generally happy endings)

☆☆ matters of the heart - rated: E - chapters: 2/2 (will be a series) - Trent & Everyone; Trent/Ted - somewhat angsty, character study

5 times someone had sex with Trent Crimm and it made him feel worse, and 1 time it actually felt good.

☆ lost sight of (who you are)- rated: T - chapters: 1/2 - will be Trent/Ted in ch 2 - somewhat angsty, character study. My first TL fic, written before s3

Trent Crimm, and becoming, and unbecoming, and becoming again. Or: Eventually, Trent writes a book. No, not that one.

☆ ink sunset - rated: T - chapters: 3/4 - Trent/Ted

Letters, unsent and sent, between Trent Crimm and Ted Lasso over the years.

☆☆ I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT - rated: T - chapters: 2/2 - Trent/Ted

Trent, and being sick, and being sick alone.

☆ make a mess of you - rated: T - chapters: 2/2 - Trent/Ted

Ted is drunk, and sad, and he really likes Trent Crimm. This cannot end well.

betrayal's sting / absolution's balm - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Ted & Everyone (Gen)

Five times Ted forgives someone… and one time he doesn't.

something to get off my chest - rated: T - chapters: 3/3 - Ted & Trent & Roy (Gen)

Three perspectives on the scene in the locker room.

to have hope - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin; Will (Gen)

Will overhears a conversation between Trent and Colin.

other fics

☆ moonlit - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Trent wakes up snuggled close with one Ted Lasso. And immediately overthinks it.

two (not) pieces of shit - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin (Gen)

In many ways, Trent's sort of become a mentor to Colin. But Colin has some things to teach Trent, too.

☆☆ being right - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Pre Trent/Ted - episode tag

Trent's opinion of Ted Lasso goes from utterly dismal, to slowly wearing down into something generally negative but with an edge of reluctantly impressed, to, abruptly, turning on a dime, something glowing.

off the handle - rated: T - chapters: 3/3 - Trent/Ted

Ted lets himself be angry, kisses the man of his dreams, accidentally makes said man of his dreams cry, acquires a boyfriend, and smashes some shit with Trent Crimm in a parking lot at 3 am. Not in that order. No one ask where Coach Beard got those mugs. (The man of his dreams, the acquired boyfriend, and Trent Crimm all happen to be the same person. This is a surprise to no one but Ted and Trent Crimm himself.)

creme, dough, and other jars - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - pre Trent/Ted - primarily humor

Ted receives an unexpected voice message from one Trent Crimm. At 3 am. About a jar of marshmallow crème.

linger - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Rebecca

Rebecca comes to see why Ted hasn't gotten off the team bus yet.

some small comfort - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Trent finds Ted having a panic attack in the coaches' office.

☆ wayward thoughts - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Ted (Gen, but could be pre Trent/Ted)

Ted reads Trent's article, and lets his thoughts wander.

the dregs at the bottom of the glass - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Pre Trent/Ted (could be interpreted as Gen)

Trent tells Ted a story. Or: Trent, throughout his life, has realized over and over again that his parents actually Weren't Great, Actually. This is one of those times.

snippets:

truth liquor/confession - Trent & Press Room; mentioned Trent/Ted

Trent crushing his own recorder - Trent & Colin/Richmond Players (Gen)

Touch-starved Jamie - Gen; mention of past Keeley/Jamie - one of my few (only??) non Trent fics lol

Trent & Jamie talk about shitty dads - Gen

Michelle briefly meets Trent - Michelle & Trent, Michelle & Ted, ft eventual Trent/Ted

the fox & the wolf (Trent telling a fairy tale) - Trent & Roy & Colin; ft implied unrequited Trent/Ted

☆ the prince and the wyrm - (Trent telling a fairy tale but in a wildly different way to the last one) - Trent/Ted

☆ brief selkie snippet - implied Trent/Ted

snippet from a rom-com AU - Trent/Ted; Press Room

three voicemails/POV outsider - Trent/Ted; Lloyd the journo

high noon over richmond - Pre Trent/Ted; ft Beard

☆☆ second impressions (Ted's POV on Trent very early on in canon) - Gen, pre Trent/Ted)

☆☆ biting is a love language - Trent & Everyone; Trent/Ted

not the most romantic first "i love you" but very funny - Trent/Ted

mixed signals - Trent/Ted

They're both in need of a hug - Trent/Ted

Yet another silly Bantr reveal sort of fic - Trent/Ted (currently all text, should be expanded on)

some sneak peaks at wips i'm working on now (UNPOSTED and UNFINISHED, hence no links):

A Deeply Unfortunate Pre-Canon Roy/Trent Hookup

a very bizarre and somewhat smutty tedependent au involving a temple and some surprisingly sad shenanigans

Uh Oh It's The Ted/Trent/Roy/Beard Fic (Extremely E-Rated)

a terrifying mermaid-adjacent tedependent au

a cinderella-esque tedependent fic

a knight and wizard tedependent au

roytrent: romcommunism gone wrong au

Mistletoe Kiss (yeah this one's late)

Rebecca and Keeley Play Matchmaker For Trent and Ted. Oops

a crack addition to that superhero au

Most Of The Diamond Dogs Take Being Supportive Friends To A New Extreme

roytrent ensues. keeley gets to watch. everyone is pleased

one day i'll finish the fic about the other reporters drunkenly daring trent to seduce ted. one day

and MORE.

[tobacconist]

Okay like i actually feel so guilty and this isnt even a joke. i dont know how to say this without sounding insane but yes; wizards are real. i am one of them. no, i havent been to hogwarts. yes, i do have a wand. no, i won't show it to you. etc, etc. genuinely this weighs heavy on my soul. ive talked about this before but i feel like its important for me to write this out once again. j confess it: j was party to them what put that curse on jk rowling. (iykyk) like, bitch, im actually so sorry. it was never meant to go this far. i mean i never meant for... well, i dont think any of us did (originally) but now we are where we are, and theres no turning back. not now.

basically, there was a big uproar in the wizarding community after that play 'the cursed child' came out. idk, i never saw it. you see, jk rowling didnt actually 'write' the harry potter series. she 'wrote' it, but it was not actually 'wrought' by her, like... to put it bluntly, the original was all based off of real events (albeit with significant alterations) and ,madame, was the one chosen to write the 'muggle-redacted' version, because she has (distant) wizard ancestry. she herself is completely unaware of this. well then, anyway, then there was the fantastic beasts saga; and, like, we were ALL pissed off. even the muggles sensed that something wasnt right. it wasnt 'magical'. it was a disgrace. so... yeah... we did it. we... uh... put that powder on her doorstep, so to speak. we crossed some bones. it was actually nothing to do with transness at all to begin with, it was about some political shit to do with the labour party and jeremy corbyn? or something like that? idk, were not supposed to vote and be political, we have our own kings and queens. anyway yeah we were just sore about how we were portrayed in it and especially how she distorted the whole plotline about grindelwald and harrys children. like bitch, if youre listening, tell me: WHY DIDNT YOU WRITE 'THE FOUR MARAUDERS' LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!? OR 'THE LIFE AND TIMES OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE' OR 'HOGWARTS A HISTORY'? or ANYTHING ELSE! it could have all been so different... 'fantastic beasts'??? sorry what??? it was genuinely like smearing dogshite upon our screens. im sorry love, but were still right angry about it. we loved you... how... how could you? 'newt scamander' - who is this fellow? we have never heard of him. oh, what? did you feel some tingle of inspiration? some new character, who loves magical creatures. he was expelled from hogwarts... fond relationship with dumbledore... THATS HAGRID! THATS THE YOUNG HAGRID! FUCK! anyway yeah, i didnt watch any of the other ones cus it was just embarrassing to see johnny depp dressed up like that.

and ofcourse there was all the other stuff before that (dont forget to be awesome!) but basically we cast a spell, several spells, and sent evil fortunes to be upon her. i regret it deeply. but by gum was the woman strong! i beg you all to realise that she literally was not transphobic until we caused this incessant stream of abuse to be directed towards her. like, we literally did this to her. on purpose. it was a targeted campaign of psychic harassment and manipulation that we have put her through for YEARS, and its only a few months ago that she truly started to crack. weve all since disbanded, because covens never stay together very long; thats why hogwarts is only a dream - but the spells have been spoken and the weird it is weft, and it would be a strong hand that would unweave them. that is to say - it is ongoing, and i am so sorry sorry sorry sorry

and for the record :- transexuality/homosexuality/genderqueerness/goatfucking is literally not an issue in wizard society we literally have potions that can change your gender in an instant or turn it back again, most of us have non-human ancestry, and we regularly trade our sperm and eggs with other species such as elves and the chinese. so there.

[parkaplayboy]

75% || Chapter 3

stylenny x gender neutral reader

You're a senior in college during your final semester, but you find out that you're dangerously close to failing a class that you need to graduate. Lucky for you (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) you get paired up with a tutor.

words: 2.1k

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Friday at 1:58 pm

The feelings in fact, did not go away.

You’d been studying with Kyle for two months now, and everytime it felt like getting heaven handed to you at five pm then ripped away at seven. You couldn’t stop thinking about them, especially not in class. For everyone. 5 minutes you listened, you spent 10 days dreaming. It was fucking pathetic. It was a miracle that you were even passing this class. When you came to this class twice a week, there was a 50% chance that at any given time you’d space out and start staring at Kyle. It wasn’t necessarily your fault, his hair was big and red, a bit distracting for anyone, really. Plus, your professor uploads the important notes after every lecture so paying attention was optional in your book. (Even if it wasn't, you’d still stare at him if you’re being honest.) Your mind kept drifting back to his house, remembering vague details, like the apron hung on the kitchen wall that read ‘Kiss the cooks ass’ You imagined being worn by one of his boyfriends as they cooked breakfast together. You silently laid your head on your desk pathetically. ‘Fuck that apron and fuck my life.’ You forced your head off of the desk and pointedly made an effort to listen to your professor’s long winded story, effectively tuning out your traitor of a brain.

Tuesday at 6:30 pm

As Kyle checked over your work, you looked around, trying to find something to fill your attention. Your eyes landed on the back of Kyle’s laptop, specifically the stickers adorning it. You’d looked at them before, nothing particularly catching your eye. Today was different, though, because in the upper right corner of his laptop was a new sticker that you were fairly certain was a BASEketball reference.

“Dude, no way. Is that a BASEketball reference? On your laptop?” Kyle looked up, a slightly startled expression on his face as eyes followed your pointed finger. “Oh, my sticker? Yeah, it is? You’ve seen it?” You playfully scoffed. “Seen it? I’ve got damn near the whole thing committed to memory. I love that movie. It’s easily one of the greatest films ever made.” Many of your nights during middle school were spent with Evan, a fuck-ton of soda, and a collection of deliciously shitty movies to binge and Baseketball was in rotation quite often.

Kyle’s mouth cracked into a wide grin and he slightly tensed, clearly excited to talk about the subject. “Oh my god, right? Everyone I know hates it! When it first came out, I saw it with Stan and Kenny, and they hated it so much they got their money back afterwards.” You giggled softly, shoulders shaking in tandem. “I don’t know why everyone hates it so much! I almost peed my pants the first time I saw it…granted I was like thirteen, but that’s not the point.”

“It’s one of those movies where it's so shitty that it's good, y’know? Like Napoleon Dynamite or any of the Sharknados.” See, this guy gets it! “Do not get me started on Sharknado.” You playfully glared at him as you geared up to tell a story. “So, when I was in like 10th grade, right? Me and my best friend had a tradition that over summer break we’d have a sleepover once a week and have a shitty movie marathon. Eventually we stumbled across Pandora's box of shitty movies,” You moved your arms as you spoke for dramatic effect. “None other than the Sharknado saga.” Kyle smiled at you, eyes locked on yours to indicate that he was listening.

“So, naturally, as any pair of smart 15 year olds would do, we binged all nine-ish hours of Sharknado” Kyle made a noise that was split between a gasp and a laugh, coming out sharp and incredulous. “No you didn’t. You are not telling me that you watched every Sharknado in a row. That’s gotta have, like, some mental repercussions.” Kyle snickered, tone laced with faux-skepticism. You crossed your arms pridefully. “Yep. For nine hours, a young impressionable mind feasted upon the cinematic dumpster fire featuring sharks and natural disasters. Sadly, you're correct about the mental repercussions of it all.” You stifled a snicker as the memory played in your brain. “The next day, after getting approximately 42 minutes of sleep, Evan and I decided to go play in the rain. Which, just so we’re clear, was such a bad idea. It was a recipe for disaster! We were sleep deprived, filled with nothing but sugar, wet, and cold.” You paused the story once more to stop yourself from laughing before you got to the important parts.

“Needless to say, two days later I was bedridden. Strep throat and a stomach bug, absolutely worst combo in the world. Thought I was going to die staring at the shitty posters I had on my ceiling. I had a fever of, like, 100 degrees and was hopped up on antibiotics. At some point, I had fallen asleep, right? I had this insane fever dream where my town was hit by a Sharknado and it was chaos and all of that. Then, after I woke up, I for some reason thought that it was a premonition. Next thing you know, my delicious ass is wobbling around the house calling for my family and gathering random supplies to save the town! My mom says she found me rifling through the junk drawer looking for the shark repellent with a pot on my head.”

By the end of your story, Kyle was full on laughing with a hand placed over his mouth in a poor attempt to stifle his laughter for the sake of the quiet location. As he held up a finger signalling that he needed a moment, you felt your heart flutter. What’s that stupid meme Evan referenced all the time? ‘Chat, is this rizz?’ “Oh my god, you’re so funny! Just imagining you trying to explain the situation with a pot on your head has me in tears.” Kyle’s phone vibrated rapidly on the table, grabbing his attention. His laughter died down and unlocked his phone. “Jesus chris, Bebe alright.” Kyle grumbled under his breath, bringing his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Hey, do you wanna come to my friend Bebe’s party on Friday?” You froze. Something in the back of your mind told you that it probably wasn’t a good idea, but it was immediately pushed out the way to make room for the thought of free alcohol. ‘Fuck it.’ “Why not?” You smile weakly. Kyle grins in response, fingers resuming in motion on his phone. “Sweet. I’ll text you the information right now. Feel free to bring any friends you have, Bebe really wants to have a full house tonight.” ‘Oh, thank god.’ You were definitely gonna make Evan and Ciara go with you, it really wouldn’t have been a good idea if you went alone. You’d probably make a fool of yourself twenty minutes in. Well, that could still happen anyway.

Tuesday at 7:24 pm

“Hey guys, I’m home.” Kyle called out as he entered the house. He placed his keys on one of the hooks by the door and Kenny responded from the couch. “In here, Ky.” Kyle crossed the room and made his way into the living room. In the living room, Kenny was sprawled out on the couch, idly scrolling on twitter and Stan was sitting in a beanbag chair, some violent video game flashed quickly on the screen. He opted to sit with Kenny, ushering his legs off to the side so he could sit down. Kenny obliged, leveraging his adjustment to lean in for a short kiss. “How was your day, babe?’ Stan asked, eyes still trained on the screen in front of him. “It was good! Classes weren’t anything to write home about, although I did get into an argument with a guy in the parking garage this morning. He parked his stupid pick-up truck in the absolute worst way that I’ve ever seen anyone park ever. I bet he doesn’t even haul anything in it either! Fucker is probably a business major or some shit.” The last comment earned a snicker from Kenny, eyes playfully rolling. “Isn’t your first class at nine? Were you seriously ripping some guy a new one at eight forty-five in the morning?” Hell yes, he was! If the guy could park like a douche at 8:45, then he could get called a douche at 8:45. Kinda comes with the territory. Kyle scowls, eyes sharpening into a glare directed at Kenny. “Is that even a question?” Stan chimed in, teasing tone lacing his voice. “This is the same guy who argued with the waiter for twenty minutes over onions.” Kyle groaned. “Oh, fuck off. If I’m paying for the meal, I should be able to customize it to how I want! It’s not like I asked them to completely change it, I simply asked for no onions.”

“Other than that, my day was nice. Oh! During my session today, Y/N and I talked about movies and unlike you two, they agree that BASEketball is cinematic gold.” Stan snorted, fingers skillfully pressing the buttons on his controller. “That doesn’t make the movie good, dude. It really just makes Y/N as wrong as you.” Kyle scoffed, eye brow raised. “You praise Scary Movie but BASEketball is where we draw the line?”

“Scary movie is supposed to be shitty-” Kenny sat up, and dramatically threw his arms out. “We are not doing this whole thing again. I can only take so many shitty movie debates, y’all.” He looked between his partners sternly before turning back to Kyle. “What else, Kyley?” Kyle rolled his eyes but continued anyway. “They told me this really funny story, oh my god Ken you would’ve loved it. I was trying so hard to be quiet since we were in the library, but I was losing my shit. I’ll see if they’ll tell it to you guys at Bebe’s on Friday.”

Stan turned around to face the two men on the couch. “You invited Y/N to Bebe’s party?” Stan asked with a hint of something that Kyle couldn’t quite place in his voice. “Yeah, Bebe was blowing up the group chat begging us to invite people so I invited them. They’re really cool, so I figured it’d be cool to have them come to the party, y’know?” He didn’t notice, but as Kyle spoke, his boyfriends’ locked eyes, a silent line of communication was brewing. “Yeah, they seem chill. Funny too, I don’t remember what they said when you brought them over but I remember it being funny as fuck.” Kenny added, prompting Stan to nod in agreement. “Have you guys had dinner yet?” Kyle asked. Stan shook his head. “No, we were waiting on you. What do you feel like tonight?” The psychology major thought for a moment before responding. “What about that sub place down the street?” Kyle supplied, looking at his partners for approval. “I’d absolutely fuck up a sub right now. How ‘bout you, Staniel?” Kenny grinned, briefly looking up from his scrolling. “Yeah, why not.” Kyle nodded as he rose from his spot on the couch. “I’m gonna go change real quick then we can go pick it up, yeah?” His boyfriends hum in agreement and watch him leisurely ascend the stairs. Once they heard a door shut, the conversation sprang into action.

“Dude, this is like the sixth time in a row!” Stan whispered as he took Kyle’s place on the couch. “I know! Last week it was Y/N’s bagel story and the week before that was the tragic death of their first guinea pig. Now, he’s inviting them to Bebe’s party? He didn’t talk nearly this much about the other people that he tutored. Do you think…?” Kenny trailed off but the question was clear. “I mean, you remember what Wendy told us after you and I first got together.”

After Stan and Kenny announced their relationship to the general public, Kyle started acting weird, even going as far as avoiding them. However, thanks to the entire friend group being the most emotionally illiterate people on the planet, they couldn’t understand why he was acting that way. One day, after everyone around them caught wind of the tension in the bro-ship, Wendy pulled the couple aside and explained to them the complexity of Kyle’s feelings. “To put it simply, he’s in love with the two of you, but he doesn’t know it yet. You guys have to be the ones to make the first move.” If there was a competition to see who could repress their emotions the farthest, every other contestant shouldn’t even bother because Kyle would win in a landslide. “Well, we shouldn’t be assuming things yet. Let’s see what happens at the party on Friday and go from there.” Stan said decisively as the sound of Kyle’s footsteps coming down the stairs got louder.