#this feels like how *i'd* continue the story if i was given direction over it. with inexperience

[sleepyjuniper]

The new Poppy Playtime chapter left me wanting. Both playthroughs I've watched so far encountered a glitch where Yarnaby doesn't spawn during the longest and most challenging part of his section??? The chapter didn't feel as scary or atmospheric as last one... and the giant piles of dead toys and the fact that they're really leaning into the whole "evil facility where kids get turned into toys" makes it impossible to get immersed cause like.. how. How has none of this been discovered. How can people be evil enough to do these experiments on CHILDREN, who the entire time are just crying and begging to go home? The callous, dark nature of the story stretches plausibility too far. THEY KILLED PIANOSAURUS IN THE SAME CUTSCENE THAT INTRODUCED HIM. HE DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHASE SEQUENCE OR STEALTH SECTION

[twistedsanctuary]

𝐀 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Fish on the beach near where you live are mysteriously disappearing. Your father, a fisherman is still working hard to find some, to get income. And you, his only child, want to help. Nobody had thought what type of fish you'd see.

Genre: Yandere

Media: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Floyd Leech, Jade Leech

Note: English is not my first language. Expect grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Hopefully, this will suffice. This is my very first story that will have different parts.

Warnings: Not proofread, Disturbing content.

I. Curiosity

If you look at it this way, the irony of fighting your exhaustion is that it also requires energy to fight back against it. Bored and tired. That's what you are right now. You've already studied and done the assignments for your class tomorrow. The only available things to do at home are play with the neighboring kids outside. And yet you don't feel like playing, despite their protests to join.

The kids had come to the extent of crying out that they'll play your favorite game just to make you play with them. They've mentioned how dull the game of tag and hide-and-sink would be without you. Somehow, like the light of the party. Listening to the calming crash of waves and the ear-piercing squawking of seagulls flying by, it's been a therapeutic experience to let the sand sink over your bare feet. The water ever so relaxingly gazes at your toes, its warm waters have given somewhat like a salon for the rich people.

Basking in the sunlight, the sun slowly going down; there still rests (Name). Admiring something in the distance of the ocean, you've come to notice the sky. It's almost past 4 P.M.

It's windy today. The children's shrill laughter drowns out because of the waves that sounds ever so therapeutic— Strands of hair flap on your face gently, following the direction of the soft wind. With a blank mind, your eyes stare up.

One... two... three... four... birds. Three fly in the same direction while a single one went on a different path, your eyes followed the direction of the singular bird, until it's lead you to see your father in your peripheral view. Your eyes land on him as he throws in his net in his Johnboat, plopping his bucket hat on his head with no care of it's untidiness. It's almost night, so why is he setting off for sea, when he usually does it early in the morning?

"Papa, are you leaving to fish again?" Taking a break from your little relaxation, your palms push down the sand to support yourself to stand up and stride to your father.

Noticing your presence, his head turns to where you are, promptly giving you a wide eyed stare before reverting back to his usual-slight empty smile. He nods and continues to pack his lures. "I'm having trouble findin' fish today," said by him as his smile dropped slowly. There were a few mumbles that came out from him that we're audible to you.

"As well as my other fisher friends." His eyebrows furrow with pure concern and confusion, his eyes glint a perplexed emotion while staring at the horizon of the dangerous waters beyond. "I'm gonna go check 'gain, this time... farther than my usual fishing boundaries." He then goes on to push his boat into the water. Before the boat fully floats on the water, (Name) proposes to be of help to capture fish alongside him.

"Papa, wait I'll help!" Stretching out your hand to reach out for nothing, as if stopping him to catch up by doing one step closer. Boredom is a killer and it always finds you. What else to do, when you're just sitting in the sand waiting for something to happen?

"Sure kiddo." He ushers you with a gentle smile, pointing at the boat with his head to indicate for you to get in the boat. Smiling widely, you hurriedly get in the boat as your father pushes it.

"Okay kiddo, can you help pull the net?"

"Not that I'd expect fish to show up..." He mumbled.

"I'll try..!" You exclaim and hear your father chuckle while you stared at the ocean and beyond. Gripping on the edge of the boat in anticipation. When the boat started to be carried by the waves, he jumps in and starts maneuvering the boat with two paddles. The ocean breeze blows softly against your skin, a few seagulls flying along with your boat, as if guiding your journey until it redirects into another direction. Soothing, one might say. A few shared silence between you two as you bask in the silence of the sea, away from shrieking children, away from the vendors in the village. Silence.

"Enjoying it too?" interjected your father, rowing the boat while keeping track of the distance between the boat and the land. It was but a mere speck to your point of view, a dot. That was how far the place was. Only a small island with mountains and places that your people had built for entertainment and cultural significance.

You feel the boat slightly sway; preparing to throw, your father stands up; net in hands and tosses the it in the air, which takes a form of a pancake-like structure, landing in the water and sinks down. Your head peers down at the bottom of the sea, subtly seeing fishes swimming away, fast. You help your father pull the net that wasn't heavy. Hearing the sigh of disappointment from him, your eyes train at his face, displaying signs of stress and anger. "I knew it, we can't find more of 'em when we get farther." Seeing him like this, aches. Deciding to look away from his saddened state, your eyes move to the side as you focus on your surroundings instead. Something catches your attention in the water, something.

Something moved. It was not the water, it's under the water. You didn't see it, for it quickly dived back down. Your heart skipped a beat for a moment. It wasn't as big as the fish your father would catch; it was much bigger. You'd imagine something like your big dining table at home, you could only estimate at that size.

Only, however; your imagination gets the best of you as fiction fogged your mind.

You might not see it, but it sees you. You could have sworn that there is a head of a person. But you knew nobody else set sail except for your father. Nobody set sailed, it was just your father that left to fish.

And no human would be able to submerge underwater without breaching out for oxygen, staying there for a long time.

Floating in the still water with just a glorified wooden bowl, you squint your eyes in the direction where you saw the moving being. You've yet to tell your father about what you think you saw... but bothering him would not be such a good idea. Burdening him further with your imagination would just give you a patient smile and a pat in the head.

He's currently fixing the net, emptying it and placing the barely collected fish that plopped in the boat. Ignoring his mumbling, you lean into the side of the boat to get a clearer view. Something barely emerge from the waters, spotting half a head, hair that droops down to their face, eyes and forehead above the water, watching you. It was a boy. His skin seemed unnatural, it had green tints. Despite being far from your reach, an unnerving stare was exchanged between you and him. An unknown message behind his emotions. And despite that, you don't know what expression you were wearing; too lost in his unwavering gaze. You've no idea of the threat about to befall you when you're leaning closer to the edge of the boat.

You are curious.

Closer, and closer, and closer you got. Almost falling off the boat. You swear you could see the creature, the boy; smiling with it's eyes squinting ever so slightly as his brows raises.

As if broken from a trance; the boat shakes, a strong grip reached out for you, tugging you back with your wrist. "You could've fallen, be careful!" You turn around seeing your father's worried face as the boat sways back and forth because of your father's erratic footsteps towards you. you turn to face the creature again, only to realize it's gone...

But it's somewhere nearby. You're curious, so it was too. It has to be. He must've seen how close you were to the water. Sitting up straight and shaking your head, strong heartbeats pump out from your chest, you clutch it with a shaky hand, "Sorry, Papa." You try to laugh it off, stuttering while looking down at the boat. Your father smiled and pats your head, flashing you a slight smile as a sign of comfort. "Be careful next time, 'aight?" Sitting back down, you nod in agreement.

The boat starts to sail once more, paying no mind to the relaxing scenery or the wind that blows with delicacy. Next time. Thinking... will it come back? Will you see it again if you come with your father when fishing? You want to see it again. Try to understand it.

You keep staring from where you saw the boy, until you see something floating near the boat. Gasping at it... because it's something chubby?... You're tempted to reach and grab it, but before you could take an action, you see it disappear under the surface of the water before going deeper. "Eh?" Thinking it was just an illusion from your wild imagination, you shake your head to hopefully clear your mind. Your love of the ocean is taking a toll on you. Rowing back to the island, you can only hope to be part of another expedition with your father to see those things once again.

That lingering feeling of curiosity stays on you, and so did the boy about you.

As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

However, cats have nine lives.

What was the problem with using one?

II. Newfound addiction

When returning to the shore, you're still searching for signs of the mysterious boy. But you didn't see anything... until a few days later. The sun is still shining brightly; the sky is bright and blue, filled with a tint of white from the clouds gazing down upon you. The soft sound of waves hitting the shoreline returns you to your senses, as these past few days have been dense. So... peaceful... calm. You take a deep breath as the feeling of plump lips kisses you from behind on your temple, your head softly held by their touch. "Mama..." You whisper as she stands behind you, breaking the interaction and silently gazes lovingly at you from behind. You don't look back, simply staring at the ocean with wonder.

She holds your hand in return, whispering sweet things to you, and responding. "Yes, dear?" Looking up to glance at her face with a faint smile, she gave you one of her beautiful grins and squeezed your hand gently with eyes that softly stared back at you. "I wanna go explore the island today... Can I?" No amount of games could satisfy your growing boredom. You know how to play each of them and win them all. There's no challenge anymore. Nothing to overcome. Perhaps a new pace of hobbies would change it?

Not breaking contact with you, she acknowledges it with a closed-eye nod and caresses your cheek lovingly. "Of course, dear. We could stay here long." She takes a small pause, humming to herself in thought. "I'll wait for you here back here, m'kay? Be back before nightfall." Excited and thankful for being given permission, you smile sweetly and nod. Your mother lets go of your face, falling to her sides. You sprint towards the shore, your mother smiling behind you warmly as she waves for the temporary goodbye.

You've been eyeing this cave near the mountains that connected to the shore, it seemed like a good place to stay in the meantime... If you don't mind the crawling crabs there. It isn't submerged in the water, in fact, the cave is still near the sand. If your guess is correct, the water would only reach until your calf.

Enthusiastic about the thought of having a cave for yourself, you saunter to the entrance- watching where you step, you momentarily look up to see your father tying the net. You stare in his direction for quite a while, thinking of when you could join him once more on one of his expeditions. After that experience, you didn't feel like playing with the others anymore. You were seeking adventure... maybe that's why you were interested in exploring.

Maybe... just maybe, you want something new.

Being deep in thought and frozen in place, your father had already noticed you. Deciding to acknowledge you, he smiles and waves. Despite being far, he had already seen you clearly by your stature. You wave back at him, sharing the warmth of the greeting. It was cut short when you spotted another person, possibly a fellow fisherman speaking to your father. Finally deciding to continue your small adventure for the day.

However, forgetting to look down on the shore... you step on something that felt like broken glasses. Looking down with discontentment, you lift up your foot to see a broken beautiful shell.

Oh...

Oh, what a waste. A pretty shell like that would've been so good in a collection... Well, it still could be. You can still collect broken shells. It'll be a special collection, unlike any other.

A sea shell collector that collects broken shells.

You bend down to grab the seashell, grunting as your hand becomes wet with saltwater as you gather all the broken parts and bits of the seashell. Dusting off the remains of the sand in the item, you stood back up and admired it up close. It glints an interesting hue of blue and purple that gives a harmonic mixture of colors.

Trying to find where to keep this precious item... You pause. You don't have anywhere to place it, or keep it. You keep in mind about your clothes that have no pockets on them. There is another you've forgotten. You look up and the winks of sunlight make your eyesight blurry. The sun is about to fall, indicating the soon-to-rise moon. This shore gives a feeling to those theatres you and your family have gone to. Where everything seems like it's out of place, and then everything comes together.

You look around one last time and collect more shells before turning your back to the sea and start walking to where your mother is. Hands clenching on the broken shell, it pierces through delicate skin with its sharp edges, threatening to draw blood around it. Dangerous, you'd think. Preventing yourself from adding more pressure further. This shell was a reminder to you. You wanted—needed to see more. Exploration.

Like the forest. The forest is always beautiful.

When you and your mother arrived at your small hut, it was quiet. The candles lit in all corners of the room. The prominent smell of burning wax digs into your nostrils, taking in its scent. The fire pit had also been burning, in the center of the room. Your father must have felt cold from the upcoming weather. You notice your father in the corner, sitting down on the floor reading a book. Once again, like instinct he looked up with glee, then looking down at what was in your hand.

"Enjoyed collecting?" He asks and you nod unreservedly, quite proud of what you have achieved today without anybody. You hear your mother walking to the kitchen to prepare for supper later. His hearty chuckle fills the room as he gestures for you to sit on the floor next to him. In which you comply, still holding out the broken seashell. "So ya'v started to collect sea shells, ha?" He continues, closing the book he was reading. "That's how me 'n your mother started out.~" He smiled fondly at the memory he's replaying on his mind. He stopped, realizing it's been silent when he started to daydream about the memory.

"Did you make new friends?" He asks very eager for your response, looking up and placing a finger on his chin, pretending to think about what you would say.

"No." A very blunt and dry response was only given to him. Your father sighs and smiles, like surrendering. "That's 'aight. It's hard makin' friends." You smile in agreement. That was exactly what you thought too. Yes, you've had your fair share of friends... but... it gets tiring to keep socializing. You just want to shut everyone out and start from scrap.

Maybe someday. Just maybe. You think back to when you saw the boy.

III. A Friend

Once more, you see yourself back at the shore to hunt for sea shells. This time, you have come prepared. A small bag to carry for your future seashell collection and a bucket. It was all you could borrow from your mother when you asked her for an item to carry your seashells. After that, you asked for permission to let you explore, in which she's allowed you.

You walk inside the cave, further noticing that it was indeed just until your calf, which is safe... hopefully. You've made further exploration inside the cave only to find out it wasn't large at all. Only 10 steps ahead and you're already at the end of the cave. You've claimed this cave as your castle. Thinking of how to make it yours, you decided to decorate it using the rocks available; given to you by Mother Nature herself. With all your might, you grabbed all the big rocks you were able to carry and placed them inside the cave. You arrange them and place them one by one so you can block the water from entering the side you've blocked it from. It took skill to successfully keep the water away from the other side. A little break later, you're ready to continue once more by scooping out the water using the bucket you have. It gets you and your clothes wet in seawater in the process.

Now, there's finally space for you to place your soon-to-be sea shell collection. But you separated the destroyed shell out of all the others. Exhaling with contentment, you leave the cave to find more shells to add. You've gone a pretty long way in finding new shells. Using the bucket to dig and find some, but nothing popped up. But that did not render you to stop. You keep going and continue your search.

And you see one, glistering with an orange hue with brown spots all over. Near the water, almost ready to be dragged away to the ocean and never to be seen again. Observing it farther as you walk closer to it, with eyes that squint; it looked like it had the same design as the one that you crushed. You dared pick it up before it got dragged into the ocean, grunting as standing up felt so... lazy. You look up and... then you see it.

The boy from under the ocean.

[midnight-mourning]

Vessel for Your Good Intent

Okay the art's going to be late(r) BUT, enjoy this little thingy I've whipped up for you all. A little peak into one of the au's i'm keeping locked up in the drafts, hope you enjoy! Last one of @divinit3a's January Cafe Prompts

Words Chosen: serpetine, gold, pacts & deals, shapeshifter, precious

Word Count: 1715

"Make a deal with me."

You glance up from your book for a moment, over to the empty mirror. Feeling shy today, apparently. 

You chuckle, looking back down to continue reading. "I've already made a deal with you. Several, if I recall."

"Make another." He drawls, somewhere beside you now. If you had to guess, in the reflection of the clock sitting beside you.

"Why? I have no need for it at the moment." You peek up to see if you can catch him, but the clock holds nothing. "I take it you are then, was that last offering not enough for you? Feeling a bit peckish, love?" 

The tinge of a smirk grows on your face in that moment as the silence lengthens. He never did like it when you used his nicknames back at him. You go to stir your tea, only for a hand to grasp your wrist as you jump. Right. Silver. Reflective as anything else. 

Your surprise slips into annoyance, if only to help hide the racing of your heart a bit better. 

His words are a hiss in your ear now, sharp, a warning. "I don't rely on you, pet. This is just for fun fun fun, you know that."

"Just making sure." He releases you, slipping back into the shadows before you can catch a true glimpse, as usual. 

You reach for your tea again and take a sip, assuming the conversation is done with. 

"I meant it as an opportunity for you." In front of you, from the tea cup's reflection, startlingly you into almost spilling and making a fool of yourself. 

You frown now, staring directly at the small silhouette on the side of your cup. "Again, why? Business is good, my health is fine, what could you have that I'd want?" You wait a moment, then add. "Right at this moment." Given how your previous wording was received, you can tell he's being more particular today, and you have to be a bit more cautious. 

Not that you already weren't with his previous proposition. 

"Because I know you want more, and I'm in the mood to offer it." The small, shadowed figure shrugs. The ray-like projections from his head flit back and forth.

You tsk, setting the cup back now. "Well, I don't. You know that. I would have made a better deal if that was the case."

"That's the best part, though." Back to the mirror, the pale visage of his face sits in the corner, grin unwavering as ever. "You don't even have to give much at all. Practically a steal steal steal, just for you!"

"What's the catch?"

"No catch~"

You snort. "There's always a catch. Always."

The smile turns to a frown, then, a small grin. "Let me weave a story for you."

Your eyes widen. "No, you know I don't like it when—" Too late, his hands are over your eyes and your world is smothered in darkness. 

"Don't worry, I think you'll like this one."

"You say that every time..." You mutter. 

Just a quiet chuckle in response as the darkness starts to shift, lighten, become a scene. 

You've yet to get used to seeing yourself in an outside view like this. You're in your shop, hard at work organizing herbs and other ingredients. It's quiet, peaceful, but tiresome work. A shift. 

Now, you're in a larger space, grander, standing behind the counter as customers pour in and out of the busy location. You give directives to your full team of employees, who answer each order with obedient nods and words of acknowledgement. You're respected, admired for your work. People take pride in being able to visit your shop and buy your products. 

Another shift, a lavish party in some grand parlor, no, now a ballroom. You're the star of the evening, no one else can compare. Everyone there holds you in high regard, they're entranced. The gold and silver throughout the room cannot compare to your own radiance. 

Shift again, a surrounding of gold. Coins and treasures, you realize after a moment. All of yours, more than you can dream, more than you'll ever need. You have nothing to want for. 

Another. You're in your kitchen. It takes a moment to realize you're no longer watching, but living this one. There's the sound of feet pitter-pattering hurriedly down the stairs, a few children suddenly appearing and rushing past you with an exchange of giggles. Ready for breakfast and their days to start. 

As you face the stove again, a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a face burying into the side of your neck to press a kiss there. Some murmured apology you can't quite catch as your hand reaches up to grip one of the arms. The person, man, chuckles, releasing you to spin the two of you into a dance, humming a tune that's familiar and not at the same time. 

The children from before laugh from the other side of the room, sounding further off than that. You have everything you could ever want. Fame, fortune, notoriety, a family, someone who loves you—

"That's enough." You whisper, finally looking up into the golden eyes of the man. Serpentine. Out of place on his otherwise human appearance. "I thought I told you to stay out of my head."

The eyes widen, the smile on his face slipping. "I was just—it wasn't meant like that."

"It certainly seemed like it." You step back, crossing your arms over your chest as a poor attempt to shelter yourself. 

He frowns now, seeming to be thinking as he too, steps back. Leaning against the opposite counter. 

With his focus elsewhere, it all seems to freeze. Even the air itself seems to pause. 

He glances back to you after a moment. "Pacts, deals, bargains, they're... the typical way to be able to express ou-my, desires. They're the only way, for that matter." That last bit is muttered, softer than should be possible for a demon. And yet.

"You could try just saying them outright." You offer with a quiet huff. "Though what more you could possibly want beyond my being, I'm more than just curious about."

He stands upright then, eyes wide. He nods, finger wagging as he takes a step towards you. "There, you've said it there. That's what I want. You. All of you. Whatever you'll let me have. I'll take it." 

"I already told you I have no need for—" You halt as your heart jumps to your throat, words dying as suddenly he takes your hand and brings it to his face, cradling it against his cheek. 

"Not like that. Not how you're thinking. More than that, you mean more than that. Precious. Irreplaceable. Let me prove it. Please." He falls to his knees, gripping your hand for dear life. The scene around you ripples. "Please just, make a deal with me. Please."

You can only stare down at him with a sense of horror and utter disbelief. "I think that's enough pretending, Shapeshifter. You've made your point. You don't need to wound my pride any further."

You knew that if enough time passed between deals a demon would become desperate, but this was absurd, even for the game he was playing. To be down on his knees, practically begging you, the little human bound to him and not vice versa, it was one hell of a way to toy with you. 

"This isn't a matter of pride." The grip on your hand tightens, the scene wobbles dangerously. His next words are seething. "Is it so hard to believe I'm speaking with a sense of genuinity?" 

You look around for anything to pull you out of this fantasy entirely, relying on your words for the moment to keep the tension from falling. "Of course it is! You didn't just ask me that, did you? After all you've done? After what you've—" You find what you've been searching for, the weight of the small bottle heavy in your pocket. You grip it with your free hand, pushing the cork out with your thumb. 

"I, you're not, but I don't, this isn't..." He can't seem to find the words, but it's the, utter devastation in his tone that makes you hesitate then. 

You keep the bottle in your hand, looking down at him with a hardened gaze. "Can you say, with absolute certainty. That anything you've said to me is completely and entirely genuine? That you’ve meant it wholeheartedly, with no ill-intent?"

A moment. You give him just a moment. 

For you think if you gave him anything more you'd hear a response you can't handle. 

You rip the bottle from your pocket and splash the water over him, the effect is near instant. He hisses as steam rises from his form, now cowering against the pain as the scene starts to collapse in on itself. You need to be quick. 

The half-empty bottle smashes to the ground, and you kneel in front of him, picking up one of the broken pieces.

He catches on instantaneously. "Wait, don't—" 

You use it to prick your finger, hovering it above his ever-changing form. Switching between the illusion and reality. 

It takes a moment, but finally, a few drops fall down onto him, and he stabilizes with a gasp. 

The fantasy collapses completely and you suddenly find yourself back in your chair, having to take deep breaths to center yourself again. Once you do so, your eyes dart around the room, looking into each reflective surface. 

Not the mirror, not the clock, not the spoon, not the cup. A flash of fear wells up in you, you don't dwell on it. Come on, where—

"That stung." You turn. 

The window. 

You don't hide your relief, shoulders sagging. "That was the point."

You watch the faint shadowed form, faint, but only because of the light streaming in. Not wavering, not weak. 

"Thank you." He states, disappearing without another word. 

You wait a moment, and realize that he's actually gone this time. 

For now. 

You sit back in the chair, running a hand through your hair with a sigh. Then you pause, pulling your hand back to examine it. 

No mark. Not even the hint of a scar. 

You don't know what to make of that. 

And that's all you get for now, back into the drafts it goes, had a lot of fun writing for these prompts, can't wait to see what comes next :)

Tag list (if you would like added, simply say so!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay @that-one-unknown-artist

[kairos99]

I've seen a few posts talking about how it doesn't make sense for romance to be added into the game because the characters are in the middle of an armed conflict and that they don't have time for that kind of thing, or that they're too traumatized to fall in love. I'd like to explain why I disagree with this position. Let me clarify though that this isn't me saying everyone should romance one of the Hex members. If that's not your thing then by all means, don't romance anyone, you're completely within your right not to. What I'm disagreeing with is that it doesn't make sense for romance to exist in this game and setting whatsoever.

The reason I disagree is that, put simply, humans aren't machines. We're not a set of directives that disregard anything that doesn't align with them. We're animals that have a lot going on at any given moment. We're driven by several purposes, some of which clash with each other. This creates tension, which is something storytellers have exploited in the name of creating stories about the human condition for millenia. Without it, stories are empty, sterile.

Here's an example:

You're fighting two factions that want to wipe out an entire city in order to save innocent lives. You've been doing it in a loop for a very long time, but that doesn't matter because saving civilians comes first. Eventually a powerful new ally from the future appears and helps you and your team change your fates and succeed in holding back both factions from overtaking the city. You're pleased and hope to continue working with this new person to keep on making sure no more civilians are killed.

Does this story sound compelling to you? Maybe a little bit, but it's missing something, don't you think? A little bit more flavor, a little bit of a spark.

Let's try that again:

You've been at war for as long as you can remember. You're tired, stuck on a loop that has no ending in sight, but you have to keep going for the sake of your companions and doing what's right. Enter a new person, a new variable in a sea of sameness. They're not just from the future, they have extraordinary powers that allow them to do extraordinary things, and they seem to be on your side. And they prove it by saving you and your companions from a terrible demise. You start to believe things might turn for the better, you allow yourself to hope for a better future. You wake up from your combat-induced slumber and you feel your attention drifting from the misery that blanketed your existence to things you'd neglected in the name of the common good, including your need for connection and belonging. Including your companions, who still struggle to see themselves as a team. Including your new teammate, who's interesting and merciful and just as starving for connection as you are. You're awake now, and you're going act like it.

Much better, don't you think? Does this story sound more unbelievable because the character has other needs beyond their main objective of saving their city? On the contrary, I think it gets closer to the human experience than the previous story. Your character, a random Hex member, gets interested in the new person, the Drifter, after being saved by them and the situation in the city gets under control, and thus reaches out to them and develops a relationship with them. And they do it because they finally have the space of mind to do it. And not just the Drifter, they also learn to nurture the bonds they have with the other Hex members, as is seen in the text messages when you rank up the syndicate.

What I'm trying to say is, it makes sense for the Hex members to get close to the Drifter, storywise. Hell, "love triumphs over indifference" is a major plot point! That's why it doesn't make sense to me when someone says the Hex doesn't have time for romance. It's like saying the Hex doesn't have time for friendship, or any relationship for that matter, and that goes against what the game's trying to tell you.

As for the characters being too traumatized to fall in love? I'm nowhere near qualified to be speaking about trauma, but what little I know is that traumatized people don't want to be defined by their experiences. They fight day and night to live fulfilling lives, and saying they can't fall in love because they're traumatized sounds downright disrespectful to me. Maybe trauma has permanently changed the way some of them relate to others, but this doesn't mean no traumatized person can ever fall in love as a rule. Everyone's experience is different, and we shouldn't generalize what a group of people are going to be like anyway.

This applies to other mental health conditions as well. Depressed people fall in love. Anxious people fall in love. People that worry about making ends meet fall in love. People that are burnt out fall in love. People at any point in their lives fall in love. There's always something else going on, whether that's something minor like a pending homework assignment or something major like a neverending war, but people still have time to feel all kinds of feelings in the meantime, including romantic love!

That's my take on things. Thanks for reading this far! If you disagree with what I'm saying here, feel free to leave a comment. It's healthy to consider other points of view. :)

[tmwcs]

"Turn Around..."

One shot fic. (Not relating to any of the established series.) This is a bit different from what I normally draft up, kind of like the Robin Hood one shot, which is also a non-yandere fic like this one. Pls enjoy.

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories and drabbles. To show your support, please consider donating into my ko-fi account ♥️

Warnings: Unprotected smut, breakup, lovers reunited, makeup sex, rough sex, a little bit of angst, taken for granted, apologetic make lead, regretful male lead, and drama. "Dont know what you got till it's gone" type vibe. not proofread but figured i'd get this out to keep yall busy until i get the next chapter of TO out 😉

Summary: You and Heeseung had a break up, despite all that has happened, you find out that you weren't the only one hurting.

“Hey.” he stands calmly at the door. You avoid making eye contact, too nervous and shy on what to say. A bit of a ridiculous notion considering you knew the man very well, dated for quite some time in fact, yet the lack of his efforts drove you to the point where you had to kill off the relationship, for our own happiness. The only issue was, that you’re not sure if you’re any happier now than you were when dating him. Nodding, you respond back with a soft “hey…” 

Walking in, his initiative causes you to walk back. He lets himself in and gently shuts the door behind, never breaking his sight away from you. You kept shifting your sight from one area on the floor, to another. He continues to take his steps forward, and you keep taking them back. Soon, he has you pinned against the wall. Palming the wall, one hand off to each side, he traps you in his arms and leans in, wanting to get closer. You dip down and swoop under his arm to get away freely into the open space, walking over to the living room, much to his grimace dismay. 

Sitting on one end of the couch, you cross your legs and prop your hands up to rest your chin. Intent on avoiding eye contact, you look away and kept your face in the opposite direction. He walks over calmly and sits next to you. 

“Y/n….”

“Heeseung stop. Could you please just get your things and go? I’m not in the mood to talk.” you snap, rubbing your temples as you adjust your body to shift up and away, standing before the tall window, waiting for him to move along and to get out. But he doesn't. 

Looking up from where you were just sitting, he remains on the couch wide eyed and slightly appalled. Sure, he went along with the break up, even dabbled and went on some dates even though you both had just broken up merely two weeks ago. However, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurting either. He only went and saw other girls just to try and take his mind off of you, but how are you supposed to know? He left you no choice, you didn’t ever see your relationship coming to an end. You worked and tried to get through to him, but he never listened, so then you were left with no choice but to break things off, yet you couldn’t help but feel stabbed when his nonchalant attitude and response to your initiation was given, almost too easily, as if he was thinking about breaking up himself. 

Seeing you standing in that silk camisole dress, lazily covered with the matching satin short robe over it, had him feeling some type of way. How long has it been since he saw you like this? No makeup, hair laying freely and barely dressed. You looked so beautiful, stunning in fact, and yet your body language and attitude made you achievable for him to grab hold on. Did he really lose you for good?

“Y/N…” he tries once more, keeping a respectable distance away, so as to not add any fuel to the fire. “Can’t we just talk?”

That did it for you. NOW, he wants to talk? Now? After seeing a handful of girls, pretending like you no longer mattered after you presented him with the words “I’m not sure if this is working out…I wished you would just be more considerate, yet you just always put me off to the side. Maybe we should consider a brea–” 

Remember the tone he had in his voice, he cut you off and finished your sentence, almost as if he was eager and looking forward to the word…as if he was taking your initiation as an opportunity to end everything without having to do the dirty work himself. “Break? Yeah sure, I think that would be good for us.” he told you. Never once trying to figure out the meaning behind your initiative, nor did he ever try to fight for you. But now, it seems he had a change of heart, but you weren’t wanting to hear any of it. Not after having a string of girls by his side the last few nights. What were you? A rebound? Were you just a safety net since it didn’t work out with those girls? What is this? 

Turning away, you snapped in a harsh tone. “No!”

“What?” His voice was a little more firm, and he seemed a bit irritated by your attitude. 

“I said no. I don't want to talk.” 

“Why are you–” he pauses. “Y/n…you act like you’re the only one that is affected by all this. You’re not. I’m struggling too, you know.” 

“Yeah, I can tell. You’re hurting so much, how many girls did you seek out for comfort? Five? We’ve only broken up two weeks ago and you never once wanted to talk, until now.” 

Standing from his seat, he grew offended by your words and replaced his soft and gentle gaze with a more stern and harsh one. Walking over to you, he nearly traps you in as he breaches your personal space and begins to walk you back to the wall, again. 

“What? You think those girls meant something? Seriously?”

“Are you kidding me? Don’t pretend you’re hurting, you nearly jumped for joy when I brought up the idea of taking a break. You think I don’t know? Get over yourself Heeseung!” Turning sharply, you try to get away from him, but his movements are quick and he restricts your fleeing attempts by hugging you from behind. You struggle and try to break free, yet the moment he pushes forward with you grasped in his arms, shoving you up against the wall chest first and his chin resting on your shoulder, burying his face in your neck, you begin to falter, but mentally maintain your resistance. Taming you, he senses your physical strength decreasing front he struggles, and continues to push you in, resting you on the flat surface as he closes the distance between your backside and his chest. Stroking his thumb, he caresses your waist as he hugs tightly. With small brush strokes of his lip, he softly pecks on the soft area of your neckline. 

“Stop…” You whimper out, trying to ignore the beautiful sensation of how his lips felt gently kissing, and sucking on your skin. “Stop…please….get away…”

“You really want me to get away?” he mumbles, with a mouth full of your delicate skin in his mouth. “Then say it. Tell me in all sincerity that you want me to stop and I’ll leave.” 

With your arms pinned to your body by his embrace, you reach up and lean your palms against the wall, pressing your body against his. You tilt your head back, resting it against his shoulder, you didn’t want him to stop, nor did you want him to leave. But you had to be strong, for the sake of mending your broken heart. So, with a shaky breath, you whined out. 

“Get away…” you nearly whispered, your hair draping over your face and your robe coming undone, bearing the nakedness of your shoulders and cleavage. “Just…get away…”

A slight pause was present, before he leans in and resumes his efforts as he takes in a mouthful of your soft skin, just below your ear, this time he was less gentle and more rough in his manners. 

“I said no….” you whimpered. His arms tightened around your arms and waist, and he slightly lifts you before shoving you further up against the wall, pressing your cheek to rest against the surface before whispering in your ear…

“I don't believe you.” 

Shooting his hand around, he lifts the hem of your camisole up and fingers his way through panties. He called you out on your bluff and you didn’t seem to mind, because now you get to show how much you missed him, that you didn’t want to leave. You get to show him that you were hurting, and that he left you without any options or hope to continue forward, that you were just at the lowest part of your life. He knew it too. He wasn’t being his best self with you, in fact he was selfish and led you with so many false promises, it’s no wonder you proposed a break up. It didn’t hit him until you started to usher out those words, but before you could finish, he beat you to the punch, all because he saved himself from the heartbreak of hearing you say it, so he had to say it first. Figuring he would save himself by hurting you, then to be hurt directly, he found that it was all for nothing. Right after walking away and leaving you to go on your own, a sharp pain hits him inside, and he immediately regrets it. He regretted going with the flow, and letting you go so easily. Fact is, he turned around, wanting to run back after you, but seeing your backside facing him, walking in the opposite direction without so much as a glance back over to him, compelled him to look the other way and to move forward, after all, it seemed you had no trouble doing just that. 

Taking your hand, he intertwined his fingers with your own, his kisses became more passionate and his embrace became tighter as his hands roamed. God he missed you. He missed how your body felt against his, and how your skin tasted. He missed how you sounded when he kissed that one little spot on your neck, and how your body shakes when he touches you. He missed you too much. 

“Tell me you don’t want me to leave this time….tell me we belong…tell me…so I can do what I’ve really been wanting to do for the last two weeks…with the one woman I’ve been wanting. Tell me baby…”

Softly sobbing, you whimpered and gasped out, immediately trying to catch your breath as you cried out your words. 

“I never wanted it to end in the first place…” 

Peeling his head back, he stood slightly shocked at your words. Before he could ask questions, you finally let it all out. It was long overdue, and the most painful sense of release you ever felt. 

“Why couldn’t you just have turned around?....I stood…watching you walk away. I mentally begged for you to turn around and come back…but you just kept moving on…you left me crying….and I just had no choice but to finally do the same….you didn’t come back. What was I supposed to do? Stand and wait in that spot forever? And those girls?....I just knew…you didn’t care….” 

Your words hit deep and cut a wound that may never heal. He had no idea that you waited. He did turn back but he was too late…probably by mere seconds. The image he recalls of you walking away, was imagined with you displaying a calm and tranquil look on your face. Now, he understands that you made your way back home in tears that night, and longed for him to come back to you. 

He gulps. In a single brief moment, your entire relationship flashes before his eyes, and he realizes that not only did he not give you his best during, but he didn’t give it to you after. Yeah, he tried to get his mind off you by going on dates, but how were you supposed to know that? He started to think how his behavior must have looked to you…how hurtful it must have been to hear about his rendezvous while you were sitting here longing for him to come back. But what killed him in all of this was that, had he just been less attentive towards his friends and set his priorities straight, none of this would have happened. How many times did he come home and skip eating the dinner you prepared, all because he decided to eat with the guys after work. Or whenever you asked to spend time with him, and he promised you he would have another day, one where he didn’t have plans, yet that day never came. How many times did he wake up, shower, and quickly breezed through the kitchen and sees that you prepared breakfast for him, yet instead of sitting and eating with you, thanking you for taking the time to feed him, he picks bits and pieces off his plate and heads out while jutting out the words “see ya!” and quickly leaves so he could be the first in line at the coffee shop…that coffee shop…the coffee shop you loved yet he never took you with. He knew your favorite order yet never brought you back anything. He was always so focused in grabbing his drink and heading to work, where he could spend nearly the entire day chilling out with the guys doing what they love, spending a great deal of overtime, before finally calling it a night. How many times did he have the opportunity to come back home, especially after seeing all his friends dipping out to go back to their loved ones that were waiting for them…and yet he stayed back, opting to hit up buddies who were single and could spare the time, instead of coming back home to you. How many times did he come back home so late at night, finding you already asleep. How many times did he crawl into bed with you, and instead of hugging you and kissing you, he turns the opposite direction and falls asleep, leaving you to not only feel lonesome during the day when you’re awake, but at night when you’re asleep too. Just how many times…did he take you for granted? 

He didn’t have any words. He felt hurt…he felt a great deal of pain, and it was nothing that you did, you were great…you were perfect in fact. The one that hurt him was himself.

Remaining silent, he leans back into your neck. Shoving his lips against your ear, feeling the shrug of your shoulders as the oversensitive sensation of feeling his lips pressed against you was immense and triggered potent arousal. Whispering, he merely tells you “I’m sorry…” 

His soft whisper made you cry even more. Feeling you shake as you sobbed harder, he holds on tightly and kisses you on that soft spot again…and again….and again. Until your sobs turned into moans. Sucking on your neck, he reaches up and grabs onto your throat, gently but firmly holding on as he pulls your hips back. His free arm hugs your waist and tugs onto you, while his grab around your neck keeps your face and chest close to the wall. Pressing his groin against your derriere, he takes in a large whiff of your scent, that subtly sweet perfume that he liked so much…he missed it. The one thing he grew complacent in taking in daily, yet the moment he thought he lost it forever, he realized it was the most beloved scent produced in this world. The feel of your touch, your skin, hair, and your soft lips, was something he didn’t realize how much he loved. It had been longer than two weeks since he last felt you, growing too comfortable and spending more time away from you throughout the course of your relationship, it had been a while since you both were last intimate. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or cared, he just didn't have his priorities straight. He just always thought that no matter what, you were always going to be around for whenever he needed or wanted you. But when was that? When did he express how much he needed or wanted you? When did he last make you feel appreciated and desired? More importantly, when was the last time he made himself available to you? Knowing that you wanted and needed him, yet he never was there for you. 

“God…I’m such a fucking idiot…” he hums out with a mouthful of your skin sucked in to his mouth. Lifting you once more, he flings you over and softly lands you on the couch, laying atop your backside as you rest on your stomach and chest. “He–Heeseung…”

“Why was I so fucking blind…” his words gasped out in a near whisper, it was gentle and calm, yet the manner of his physical touch was the exact opposite. Nearly ripping off your dress, the straps snap loose as he roughly pulls it down, and tears your panties off. Hanging by the bits of thread and pieces of fabric, it loosely hangs on your thigh while he smooths his hands over the softness of your smooth skin, grabbing onto your cheeks firmly as he squeezes your derriere. 

“Why did I not see what was in front of me?” Leaning forward, he places his lips on your back shoulder, and sucks on various regions. Firmly holding onto your waist, he fishes out his stiff member and rides it in between your cheeks, squeezing it to nestle in between as he strokes it up and down. “How could I not see that I had the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” Taking a hold on the back of your neck, he slowly feeds himself inside your cavity, pressing in. You weren’t entirely ready, and the lack of prepping made it hard for you to take him in, not to mention it had been so long. Yet his eager desire to have you made him impatient, he needed you now…he wanted you…he wanted to please himself but also, to please his queen. 

“Why did I not show you just how much you mean to me….why didn’t i do it sooner?” Thrusting in hard, his groin smacks against the soft plumpness of your cheeks, you screamed out as he rams himself in, reaching the depths of your gut as he pushes through all of your stagnant walls. Fully in, he pauses before continuing. He had to take a moment to enjoy the feeling of burying his cock deep inside you….after missing out for so long. 

“Why wasn’t I better for you?” Sliding out, his tip breaches its exit, providing you with some relief as you catch your breath, only for him to shove it back in with fierce momentum. “He–Heeseung!” Gripping onto the sofa cushion, you brace through the pressure of pain and pleasure as he roughs up your womanhood. He was being so demanding with the way he was thrusting, yet his words were so beautifully spoken with genuine sincerity and sympathy. He truly was sorry, and now, he wanted to show it, even if it meant he had to mix his love with fucking you into pieces. 

“Why didn’t I tell you how I’ve felt all this time?” Thrusting, he jolts forward and bucks his hips, causing your body to rumble and shoot forward, only to be retracted back as he pulls you in, all to repeat his performance in jutting his cock back into you deeply, shiting your body forward. 

“Why wasn’t I home often?” Thrusting and pumping his cock fiercely, you felt the sting of his thickness tearing you open. It had been too long, your body nearly forgot what it felt like to have someone, much less him, pelting you with their girth. Even though you were devotedly waiting for him, and yearned for him, he left you empty and unfulfilled so many nights, and you spent each evening alone and drifting off into a dream where you weren’t sleeping lonesomely on an empty bed. Now, he was here, and for the first time in so long, he was not only making love, but he was fucking you like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to take it easy, or slow, he wanted to go in deep and hard. He wanted his performance to match the ferocity of his love and yearning for you. 

“Why did I let you sleep alone all those nights? I should have been there to kiss you to sleep.” Deepening his thrust, the curved edge of his lengthy member hits your sweet spot. Soon, there was no pain, only the pressure of pleasure and ecstasy. 

“I should have touched you more.” increasing speed, he forces the moisture of your secreted fluids to squelch in and out. Your body gushes out, you could feel yourself releasing the warm liquid your body was producing, seeping out, and glazing his cock as he continues to fuck you. 

“I should have loved you harder.” Grabbing onto both sides of your waist, he pumps his cock in and out, faster and faster as he holds you steady. 

“I should have been better. I should have been so much better.” Slapping into you, his groin and thighs stains your skin red as he continues to slam himself in, going deeper and deeper. 

“I should have….fuck….baby you feel so good…I should have…I should have….” 

“Heeseung!! Ugh!” He continues with his pace as you reach behind and smack your hands over his, digging your fingers onto his wrists as you feel the snap in your gut release the high of your orgasm. 

“Fuck baby….you’re making me cum…..” 

Your body shakes uncontrollably and you scream out his name, which transitions into tiresome whimpers as you catch your breath. All the while he slows down, going in deep and slow, passionately slow. Admiring the view of his length smoothing in and out of your womanhood, he savors the feeling of releasing every bit of love, anger, sadness, and regret into you. Still thrusting, his thumbs stroke your skin and he bids you to answer. 

“Tell me you missed me…”

“....I missed you…” 

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you…”

“Tell me you need me.”

“I need you.”

“Now tell me you love me….”

“....I love you….”

Leaning in, he rests his weight on top of you as he tenderly kisses your cheek. His cock remains buried in, and goes in deeper as he propels forward and lays atop your body. “Then turn around…and don’t let me go. I’ll do the same.” 

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[heartbeatbookclub]

I've attempted cobbling together multiple different full-length essays on my thoughts on Yuri being autistic, something i've referenced multiple times on this blog virtually every time I do any deeper analysis of her character, partially as a means of pressuring myself, but mostly because I really don't think there's a way I can understand her character without this as a baseline. It's something that's really fundamental to how I see her character, and as something of an autist myself, it's something I feel pretty strongly about.

I've attempted making multiple full-length pieces on this. Emphasis on attempted. So, rather than doing a true full length analysis, I thought I'd just throw myself in and go a bit off the cuff.

Understanding is what follows Trust, quite literally immediately after. I think I've been underserving my point (and my own understanding) every time I've talked about the Side Stories directly without addressing the formatting and overall themes. I've got an extremely old draft trying to enunciate my fuller thoughts on it, but I doubt I'll ever take that anywhere, so here's this now: I think probably the broadest theme across all of them comes down to something like connection. Communication, miscommunication, words left unsaid and the fact that you never really know what's going on inside someone's head. And despite all of the individual problems which can create conflict and breed disconnect, the Literature Club is formed with the intent of being a club for everyone, where each person can come and feel safe expressing themselves, with the hope that they could find community. Which they succeed in.

I think, really, when you look at DDLC as a whole, its entire point can be condensed within this idea, and both the Side Stories and Base Game are just two different ways of viewing it. This post puts it pretty well, I think. There's this constant emphasis on the unseen side of someone, just beneath the surface.

"Can you hear me?"

Anyway, my broader point in leading with that is, each of the titles refer to specific ideas which the stories they contain deal with in great detail, usually as a central element to a given conflict, and revolving around some central thing that needs to be learned (further emphasized in Equals). They're obstacles to the connection they're trying to create. These traits are instrumental, both in terms of building the club as it comes to be, and in bringing each of the characters closer together, solidifying the connection between them in spite of their differences. I think in general you could also describe them as fundamental traits that go into creating the Literature Club as a concept, particularly on terms of the vision as a place people can feel comfortable expressing themselves in.

Trust is all about the relationship built between Sayori and Monika, and the...well, trust they build with each other. The trust they invest in one another, that leads to them sharing some of their deepest secrets with each other. It also, I think, represents the trust that's necessary in the environment they're trying to create (It's difficult to express your true self if you don't trust the people you're expressing yourself to, after all!) I think Trust sets out the modus operandi which the rest of the stories operate under; in order to create the environment which Sayori and Monika envisioned at the start, there are a few essential hurdles which need to be crossed.

I think Understanding having direct continuity from Trust is important in that sense. It's a direct showcase of their vision in action; from creating it in Trust, to making it a reality in Understanding. And in that sense, it showcases the first major hurdle they have to get over.

To get away from the whole subtextual analysis thing, Yuri's introduction does a lot in a short period to establish the kind of person she is. As Monika puts it: "intense". She jumps straight in to talking about her books as soon as she's sure she's in the right place, in a way that awkwardly (but effectively!) side-steps the attempt at introductions which Monika and Sayori give (a theme that becomes common as the story goes on), and gets straight to her point, that she wants to join their club, and that she really wants to share her books with them.

I also can't go on without at least mentioning this adorable little moment--

It's really obvious from the outset here that Yuri is very excited to have found a place where she can talk about her books; a place filled with people who seem to share a common interest with her, where she can find like-minded people to make friends with based on her love of fantasy literature. In fact, she seems so taken with this idea that she doesn't even seem to notice Monika or Sayori being put off at all by how overexcited she is. She gets so caught up in her own thoughts on the matter, in fact, that without a second thought with regard to the social consequence, she takes off to go and get her books once she realizes she didn't bring them.

I gotta be honest, I don't think Yuri was really paying attention to how this conversation was going, not to dig on her. There's a particular reason for that, I think.

I think she spent a whole lot of time running this entire moment over in her head, again and again.

That might seem like an obvious assumption, but I have some specific reasons why I think that, like the fact that she forgot Monika's name two separate times, or that she says she took the flier immediately but had to work up the courage to come in. I'd say even the fact that she feels the need to say that she "should be good enough" to join their club (as though there's a skill based barrier to entry in a school hobbyist club?) indicates that she probably spent a lot of time creating imaginary standards to check herself against just to be sure she'd be up to snuff in any serious literary debates.

I think her idea of a "Literature Club" is fairly similar to what MY idea of what a Literature Club would be when I first heard the title, and what I'm sure a lot of other people kind of envisioned: something like a book club. For books. And people who read books. Made for people to come in and talk about books. As a consequence, I think she excited herself building this idea in her head of a club at her school, filled with her peers, where she could go in person to meet like-minded people to talk with about something she's truly passionate about. It's all of these factors together that lead me to thinking she probably came in with a very one-track plan in mind, potentially as simple as "see if anyone there likes fantasy, see if anyone there likes annabelle dupont, makes friends by talking about annabelle dupont!" after doing a lot of thought on the matter, and considering a lot of what could go wrong.

I think that's why she pushes past the introductions quickly, and why she's so resistant to (or, maybe better put, uninterested in) small talk. When she came in, she had a few very specific, and very important thoughts in mind. She wanted to see if anyone in the club shared her specific interest, and she wanted to join their club. The introductions, the social element? That was mostly secondary to her real desire here. I'd say she even saw it more like an obstacle to what she wanted to do.

And this introduction, with this context in mind, leads me to a very particular idea about Yuri's whole deal.

Yuri is very passionate about literature, in particular a specific fantasy series by Annabelle DuPont, which she is very happy to gush about at length with likeminded people. Yuri lacks a great deal of intuitive social awareness, and has a tendency to get caught in her own thoughts pretty easily, social consequence be damned. This in conjunction with her obsessive interests can be very clearly seen to put off people around her, and impair her own ability to recognize when other people are put off by her. She takes a rather literal, straightforward approach to things, and is mostly uninterested in introductions as opposed to a conversation about her interests.

Guys...I think she might be Literally Me.

Okay, so I'm not going to pull out a full DSM-V diagnostic criteria list here, but the emphasis on her social dysfunction combined with her obsessive interest in a particular subject (in this case, with a particular overcomplicated fiction series) are some clear indicators, but it does go a bit deeper than that, imo. It's hard to really typify, but unironically, there are a lot of things to the way she's written that I just deeply identify with as an autistic person, coupled with some dense anxiety.

The moment of her pressing her knuckles against her cheeks is a pretty obvious example of stimming, something she does in this instance because she's too excited and happy to express the feeling in any possible words. Her immediate jump into asking about fantasy I think comes from the fact that this question was on her mind and she just needed to find a moment to ask it--something I find particularly relatable as a former child who could never find a good moment to interrupt a conversation. When you have something really strong on your mind that you really want to say and you're just looking for a good moment where you can finally break in and ask it and it just seems to never present itself so you just have to break in at some point even if it's awkward--whether that statement is "I want to join your club!" or "Do you like fantasy?" or "Is your shirt a reference to this band because their music literally changed the course of my life and if you like them I wanna be your friend". I view this as something of a consequence of autistic inertia (as in, the trouble many autistic people have of switching between tasks), particularly when you have to deal with engaging in a conversation you're currently in which you'd like to steer in a particular direction--or that you just want to jut this question into. This is, in my experience, one particularly common reason an autistic person might come off as blunt or tactless in conversation: sometimes you just wanna say something and you don't know how to do it naturally or politely. (At the very least, this is a common reason I've personally been called blunt or tactless.)

And of course, since I mentioned it without focusing much on it earlier: Yuri's intense focus on her books and what she's talking about leading to her not noticing how the other two are reacting is a neat little showcase of impaired empathy, though it's also a consequence of her hyperfocus on her own train of thought in that moment.

It's also a very nuanced, and I would say exceptionally real portrayal of autistic empathy. See, I've mentioned this before on this blog, here, but there's this funny little trope with autistic characters, where due to the idea of "impaired empathy" as an autistic trait being...rather ironically taken too literally, autistic characters are often presented with this unflappable confidence of having never been rejected by other people in their life, as though they can't even empathize enough with the idea of rejection to understand that they're supposed to feel negatively about it. As a consequence, autistic characters will often be written with this constant need to be insensitive, emotionless little weirdos, and any blunt, tactless, implied or explicit insults they share are just accepted because "they're autistic lolz", and they never advance from this perspective.

This is...needless to say, not a good way to portray autism, I can speak firsthand, hi, I know a shitload of autistic people and also I am one of those, what the fuck guys, at least make me a cool terminator robot or a Ryan Gosling character or something--anyway, more bluntly, it's also just inaccurate, and speaks to a misunderstanding of what autism even is. I think most portrayals of autism in Hollywood and TV are broadly misinformed about the autistic perspective (ignoring that there isn't really a universal autistic perspective...that's a broader discussion that's not important here tho), and the way they portray autistic people's experience with empathy is probably one of the most obvious examples.

Autistic people do not have some magical lack of empathy. It's not somehow impossible for autistic people to understand (or at least relate to) your feelings. It's just that there's often this extra little gap you need to bridge to really get there. It's a bit tough to really explain past general terms like this, especially since every person's experience with autism is different, but let me just elaborate on it on terms of Yuri, because she outright defies this very Hollywood idea of impaired empathy in a pretty nice way.

When the others react to Yuri's enthusiasm, she doesn't seem to really pick up that they're uncomfortable. She doesn't seem to notice their facial expressions, or the overall tone of the conversation, or how one-sided it really is. She gets one piece of positive affirmation from Monika ("Fantasy is cool.") and immediately latches on to that, ignoring the rest of the awkwardness of the conversation around it. She's not picking up the cues here that the others aren't on the same page with her, and it's only after she receives an admittedly very minor and well-meaning bit of pushback from Sayori that she realizes she might've gone a bit far. More specifically, it pumps the brakes on her excitement and forces her to be a bit more receptive to an actual conversation, which enables her to slow down, and in that way, reflect a bit more.

She doesn't let on anything about it immediately, but the following day, she apologizes, revealing that on reflection, she decided that she was being overbearing, and didn't consider anyone else's feelings in the matter. Here, even when Sayori pushes back on that, telling her she didn't do anything wrong, she's pretty set on apologizing, acknowledging she did do something wrong, and pulling back, instead letting other people take the lead. She states (her opinion) that nobody was actually interested in her book, and instead that they were just humoring her. When Sayori pushes further, indicating that she is interested, and it's something she really wanted to do as a club activity, Yuri immediately swaps to the other end of blaming herself, immediately questioning why she's being so resistant, when she wanted to do this anyway, then apologizing for "being like this".

The anxiety on display, the immediate turn to catastrophizing about how this situation can go wrong (or already has), something we saw briefly earlier when she talked about how she thought Monika might've spoken ill of her in the club when she received the flier, that's all one thing, but what seems plainly clear here is that there's a gap which isn't being bridged. Yuri doesn't actually understand Sayori's thought process, and Sayori doesn't understand Yuri's, and that's the fundamental conflict here. That's the real gap in understanding.

And that gap, between how one person looks at a scenario and how another views it? That is, in my view, the most fundamental element of autistic empathy. That's what fuels the disconnect. There's a lot of different traits which might make up an autism diagnosis, but the differences they create on terms of thinking and behavior aren't some magical other separated from neurotypicals as a class of people; there's always some fundamental logic to it, which you just need to take the time to understand.

Digressing--there's a lot of littler things around these moments that I tie to this view, like Yuri's issues with many people, or Yuri only seeking out people to talk about literature with online. I mean, when you consider it, it is kind of obvious to check around the posted clubs to see if there were any to suit her interest...so why didn't she? I think it was intentional, though unconscious. I think her decision to come to the Literature Club was actually fairly motivated by the fact that Monika outright placed the flier in front of her, creating an impetus for her to want to join, besides the fact that it seemed like it was perfectly made for her. There's now an active pressure for her to go, as opposed to a passive "oh that sounds nice..." you'd get from seeing it on the walls.

There's also that little back and forth between her, Sayori, and Monika, where she quickly focused on the framework Sayori created on the conversation rather than anything else (you say something, then I have to say something), then immediately struggled as Sayori broke that framework to do a quick bit with Monika, before turning back to her. Again, I think there's more struggle here with figuring out when it's her turn in a conversation, which is probably a big part of why she prefers to stay quiet.

On to them reading, there are even more little things, like Yuri's particular way of explaining the lore, introducing the series, and using paper to take notes and detail her thought process (which individually indicates that she seems to have a very particular and seemingly meticulous way she likes to enjoy her favorite series, and her desire to share it in EXACTLY the way she likes it, so she can be sure to get all of what she views to be most important about it, and of course, a need to be organized to keep all of her thoughts together and help visualize everything; this kind of alternative thing isn't just an autism thing, but autistic people tend towards using alternate forms of communication and visualization to help understand something in their own particular way, more on that disconnect), as well as that not so subtle example of her not picking up on Sayori's extremely mild sarcasm, or the fact that "you can't generalize intelligence" is quite possibly the most technical and autistic way of downplaying a compliment I've ever read committed to word. Oh, and Yuri's indignant little response to Sayori writing nonbook notes on the book notes page, minor and offhand as it is, indicates further that Yuri's a stickler for details.

Once they start reading, we see more of the actual issues Sayori has, which fills out the rest of the conflict. Both of them end up stuck in their head. In Sayori's case, her own inferiority complex builds this progressive sense that she's not doing good enough for Yuri, and that must be why she's not having a good time. Meanwhile Yuri becomes convinced that Sayori is just patronizing her (despite all appearances), in large part because of her past experiences with others, which I think is an especially important thing to address.

I've already touched a bit on the following conversation between Monika and Yuri here, but this part kinda just lays a lot of it bare. Yuri's great at talking about her interests, but struggles with anything else. She has a lot of trouble doing this kind of social reflection and trying to figure out what other people are thinking. She doesn't know how to bridge that gap. She's really bad with other people...and she's accepted that.

I think that's an especially important thing at play here, and it's where this whole conflict comes from.

Monika's able to bridge the gap in the first place, because she knows what to say to direct the conversation in a useful direction--to make Yuri trust her, and trust that it's okay for Monika to act in her interest, because she's club president. It's her job to try to help everyone feel welcome. Then, as they talk, she's finally able to work out what Yuri's actual problem is, peeling the wall back between them with trust, then bridging the gap with understanding. And Monika does understand! Because Sayori and Yuri...aren't so different.

Both Sayori and Yuri have this constant preoccupation with the fact that they aren't good enough. Yuri, in particular understands that she's an awkward, deeply weird person, and she can accept that about herself. Everybody seems to have one of a few different reactions to her. Realizing that she's weird, and awkward, and makes people uncomfortable...well, the only reason people must appear to be accepting of her is because they want to make her feel better about herself. To allow them to make themselves uncomfortable, to deal with all of her inability to be a more socially conscious and considerate person...that'd be evil. She'd feel guilty doing that. And the thought that she could be doing that to someone because she doesn't understand that they are just humoring her? That's one of the worst feelings in the world.

As a consequence of all of this, and her constant preoccupation with not doing that, with not taking advantage of another person's kindness, she overcorrects. She assumes that other people can only tolerate her being herself, being who she is, and not actually like her. They're patronizing her to pretend, and so the only way she can truly be accepted is by suppressing herself, or just not even participating.

She thought the Literature Club might be different, but the thing of it is, she is the problem. Not because she's somehow uniquely unlovable or because she's just gotta pull herself together and can't, but because her entire view of the situation is off.

I think a big part of this comes down to Yuri's previous experience with social rejection, which isn't directly detailed here, but is at least tacitly expressed. And I think a lot of this view of herself, as though she's some uniquely socially broken weirdo who will never truly fit in anywhere she goes, and can only find tolerance, not true acceptance, likely in some part comes from that rejection. That's probably why she focuses so much on her own interests, and in talking with people about them online.

That's probably why Yuri wasn't looking for a club that suited her interests at all. And it's why the Literature Club was something she really, really needed.

This...in particular, is why my view of Yuri's whole deal is specifically undiagnosed autism, and it's actually a pretty big part of why the entire thing sort of clicks for me.

Because fun fact! I didn't even have an inkling that I might be autistic until I was 19, despite plenty of evidence. The only reason I'm actually not diagnosed (shock, awe!) is the fact that my parents fought the school board on it so I wouldn't be placed in special ed. That's a whole other conversation, back to my point; A lot of Yuri's reflection on her social struggles is very relatable to me personally, particularly with her difficulties understanding why she is the way she is, and the shame that creates. Not even just in Understanding--a lot of what happens, a lot of what she talks about throughout the Side Stories is something I personally find relatable in a way that's hard to conceptualize for me without tying it to my own autistic experience.

To finish, I'll brush over a few quick thoughts and then talk about the conclusion in Understanding a little.

Both during the conversation with Monika and leading up to her breaking down in tears, Yuri has these sudden little outbursts; things she says before she even realizes she's saying them (This is something that happens in Self-Love, too!), and I just wanted to mention it, since I've done it too, sometimes. I've talked quite a bit before about how Yuri tries to keep a handle on her emotions, but when she does get emotional, things spill out. This is an especially common form of masking ("sometimes, masking is fighting to appear aloof at all times because emotion comes out too strongly to be controlled and expressed in a socially acceptable way"), and this particular kind of emotional outburst and breakdown is something which is a common consequence of it. It's gotta come out at some point, and when you're so used to maintaining that kind of control over yourself, emotional regulation can be especially difficult.

AND THEN SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOOOOOAAAAAATTTTTT--

ahem.

Sayori bridges the gap because she's the goat. finds her own way to peel back Yuri's walls. Just in time, too...

Creating a path for the two of them to be honest with each other, and (albeit...unintentionally?) preventing her from running away, all but forcing her to take her kindness to heart. Yuri finally just drops all pretenses and lets out all of the thoughts she's had this whole time. Monika created an environment where she could feel safe expressing these thoughts and not feel judged, and convinced Yuri that it would be the same with Sayori. So she's spilling her guts as a part of learning to trust other people. Now that she has, it's on Sayori to finish it, and bridge that gap. Mend the divide.

Yuri's speech, obviously, just reinforces everything I've been saying thus far. She wants to be a normal person, at her core. But she isn't normal. She knows that.

And the reason she's here is because she wants to make more friends...but this hasn't gone at all how she's expected. It hasn't gone to plan at all.

Sayori's here to show her that that's okay. Sometimes, things are messy. People are messy. It's not something that's easy to understand, and that's okay, you don't need to, totally.

And in turn, she shares her own anxieties, her own problems that she's been having, which shocks Yuri. This is another little element of empathy, but more of what I think this represents is self-image vs how others view you. Yuri points out--she did all she could to reassure her! She would never get frustrated with her while they were reading. She knows that.

But Sayori doesn't, and moreover other people can't just peek directly inside your head.

So to get these things across, you need to talk them out. Without communicating with each other, it's impossible to understand each other. People aren't mind readers.

But Yuri, being autistic, needs a great deal more help communicating, both on terms of understanding others, and explaining herself so others can understand. She says herself--she doesn't have good communication, so she needs others willing to reach out a little to bridge that gap, which is what the Literature Club is for.

Oh yeah and Yuri's comment about getting people's consent to be touched makes me chuckle because that's some shit I'd do. You know she was thinking about that from day one but didn't want to be rude about it, and now that they're being honest with one another, she's gotta say it, even just at the end of that huge emotional conversation. That's another point for bluntness.

This has been something I've had in the drafts for months, almost a year by now. It's the last major character analysis type deal I still had outstanding, and I've got piles and piles of notes. I've watched back over Understanding multiple times for material, and I have (as mentioned) multiple unfinished versions of this analysis. I wouldn't call this perfect, but it says most of what I've wanted to say for a while, including referencing most of the other major posts I've made on the subject. I might have more to say on the subject later, I might even correct a few things on this later, but as yet, these are my thoughts. She's got that certified autistic rizz guys

[skyrim-forever]

WIP WEDNESDAY

It's Wednesday again, let's see them wips <3 I was tagged by @ladytanithia for a wip whenever yesterday, thank you friend!

Tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @dirty-bosmer @lucien-lachance @umbracirrus @changelingsandothernonsense

@bougainvillea-and-saltwater @pocket-vvardvark @firefly-factory @hircines-hunter @captain-of-silvenar

I'd like to give a special shoutout to @lillxart who got me thinking more about the fun little emotion that is jealousy and I decided I wanted to tackle it more in-depth than I have before. Also was missing writing from Ondolemar's pov and he's at his best denying his feelings so here's a snippet from before they have confessed <3 Under the cut because somewhat suggestive, mostly angst:

So caught up in his own mental groveling, what she says next is nearly missed. “I would love to know if you find anything interesting about them, I’ll confess I don't know much about the Dwemer. More familiar with the Ayelids, my father had an interest."

“Perfectly understandable, the Dwemer never went as far south as Cyrodiil.” The young wizard pauses before continuing. “I’ve already got some theories, perhaps we could continue this conversation over dinner? If you’d be interested, of course.”

It comes out of him quickly, words staunch and firm, the authoritarian tone hopefully covers up his desperation. It was unlike him to speak without thinking, let whatever fall from his mouth. Careful, calculated, that is how he was taught to speak. More thought should be put into deciding what to reveal than the physical exertion of saying it. Despite all that training, or perhaps in spite of it, the accusation comes out. 

“You.” The single word is so cutting, far more than it needs to be. The anger in voice should not be directed at her, nor Aicantar who knows not of his crime. It should claim its victim in himself  and it would have, if he had not been struck mad at the thought of her having dinner with someone else. A younger Altmer who was doing what his own younger self set out to do, a scholar; a mer who could be with her, unbound by the confines of oaths and duty. “You have been interfering with official business of the Altmeri Dominion and I am taking you for questioning.” 

Unlike his anger, misplaced and sporadic, hers is properly accessed as she glares at him, burring holes through his very being. Ondolemar knew nothing of dragons. The beasts they say she fought bore little concern on his mind. However, as he guides them back to his quarters, few words said to his guards to explain her presence, he wonders how much truth there is in the tales of their wrath. How much truth is found in the title Dragonborn? Was she like a dragon, could her wrath consume him? 

It’s more unnerving as she is silent on their way, nothing but that agonizing stare to confirm she’s there. Slowly, he shuts the door behind them. Enjoying a few seconds of her company without facing the consequences of what has occurred. 

“What was that?” Every word is a brutal strike and every answer he can give is more pathetic than the next. Though this is no time to be blaise, he does so anyway. An attempt can’t hurt. 

“You were late.” He passes her the goblet poured early, a peace offering, as insignificant as it is. It is rejected. 

“I didn’t realize being late for you to fuck me was a crime, delaying your pleasure counted as interfering with official business.” He deserves the mocking tone as she echoes his words. 

“Given what you have told me I thought you may have been held up by the City Guards. Now I see it was something else.”

“That doesn’t explain what you said. Now the next time I speak with Aicantar I’ll have to fabricate some story because you seem to think your position means you can demand anything you want, at any time.” Her words hit him heavily, settling in his stomach like a thick sludge where sustenance should be. Did she really think that all he was concerned about? Of course she did, he had worked very hard to not let slip any of the borderline romantic thoughts he harboured. Fearful of even thinking of them sober, speaking them aloud would be far too real. 

But she is angry with him and despite their very opposing sides, Ondolemar doesn’t want Theodora angry at him. Their identities as enemies was much better suited for their private activities. Where they still mattered, his position and rank never leaving his mind, but no one to see how he used them to please her. Collecting the right works, he speaks. 

“In the moment I was taken aback when he asked you to dinner and forgot myself.” Her rage quells slightly, what rage leaves is replaced with hurt, her words are layered with pain. 

“Am I not allowed to be asked to dinner?”

“Of course.”

“Then why did you order me away?” He expected her to ask if he was jealous. All the clues point in that direction, it would be easier on him to confirm her conclusion than draw his own. Fearful if he say it he would go even further and inform her that the lack of freedom and autonomy got to him at times. That it did hurt to hear someone else was interested in her and she would not need to hide with him. Taken aback again, this time by her pain and sincerity, he can’t bring himself to tell the truth. 

“I do not know.” It’s a suffocating silence. Distracting himself momentarily, he puts down the rejected peace offering, mentally praying that they will get to share a drink tonight. If she can forgive him for his stupid and barbaric behaviour as well as the fact he cannot provide her an explanation, unable to admit some things to himself. 

“If I saw you with another woman, asking her to dinner or kissing her or even fucking her, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my place to.”

There was he wants say. An fruitless endeavour but one nonetheless.

[fluffyfanficsonly]

FORK, FORK, I BESEECH YOU WITH MY METAPHORICAL ELECTRIC SOCKET OF A BRAINROT.

If I may request, may it be an imagine with Twilight from Linked Universe spending time with his friend, the reader, before realizing how much he loves them?

Perhaps reader goes with him to collect some ingredients Wild needs for dinner that day. Foraging isn't so bad — and then the reader stumbles upon a flower field. Twilight freaks out a bit, noticing them missing, but finds their collection of plants and herbs set aside, reader laying down amongst the flowers.

I don't know, I'd be happy with whatever else you can think of or if you decide not to do this/let it stew. Thanks so much for hearing me out!!!

BRUH I LOVE THIS SM WHAT.

I COOKED ON THIS

Twilight Realizing He’s In Love With You

Twilight x Gn!Reader

You and Twilight were foraging ingredients for Wild, who was on dinner duty that day. The two of you decided it would be better to split up, since it was late afternoon and the sun would be setting soon.

The two of you had been chatting as you looked for specific ingredients, laughing about some silly thing Wind had done that day. As the laughter subsided, Twilight had felt a sort of disappointment, not hearing your laugh. After processing the thought his face had turned a light pink, along with the tips of his pointed ears.

Twilight has been lost in thought. Standing up after picking some rather fresh Hylianshrooms, he looked around to find that you weren’t in your original spot from before.

He looked around in a panic, adrenaline kicking in, you couldn’t have wandered off too far right? What if a monster had gotten to you and he didn’t notice? What if-

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of such thoughts. He needed to focus, where would you have gone?

As he looked hastily around the area you two had been foraging in, he noticed a familiar sight, sighing in relief as he saw you picking flowers in a nearby open field. You looked so…peaceful, a smile gracing your stunning face. Twilight’s heart swelled in his chest as he strides towards you, smiling almost giddily.

Looking up from where you were picking flowers, your gaze softened as you saw Twilight, wincing inside slightly, hoping you wouldn’t get a lecture from him…again.

“There you are, starlight.” He said softly, your heart speeding up slightly from the nickname he had given you after your first night with the group, being so invested in the stars. You had woken up with a neck cramp the next day from looking up so much. “I thought you were in danger.” He lectured, hands on his hips.

“Sorry, I thought I had told you.” You responded sheepishly, Twilight sighed, shaking his head slightly. “You need to be more careful, we don’t know what exactly is out here.” He doted, looking at the large opening. Speckles of flower patches, the sun starting to set on the horizon.

As the two of you chatted, you both ended up sitting down in the field watching the sunset. As the two of you laughed and joked about old stories, Twilight looked over at you, studying your features. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, the orange sunlight outlining your face.

He finally realized what the strange thoughts and feelings he thought he was plagued with. The soft, fuzzy feeling his heart gave him everytime he looked in your direction. He was totally whipped for you, your smile, voice, everything. Everything about it was just so mesmerizing.

You had noticed Twilight had been quiet for a bit, looking over at him. “Is something wrong?” You questioned, tilting your head. Twilight just flashed you a soft, content smile. “It’s nothing.” He sighed, continuing to stare at you as you shrugged it off.

[fernsnailz]

Not sure how much meat this question has to it but if back in 2006 you were the one that spearheaded the shadow the hedgehog game, how would you have done it?

i'd want ShTH 2005 to keep the same core energy its final form ended up with, but tbh there's a lot i would have done differently lol. here's my 3 step plan for how i would have directed it previously/would direct any sort of reboot or remaster

1. TIMELOOP!!!!!!

i'm not the first person to come up with this idea and i won't be the last to talk about it, but the gist of this point is that ShTH's story makes WAY more sense when you treat it like a timeloop. you finished a story path and end up back in westopolis? great job, you're at the beginning of the timeloop again. it's a smart way to make this wack story a little more cohesive.

i would LOVE to further utilize the timeloop concept for this game because it could be a very simple addition to add flavor OR it be the core of the game's story and gameplay. small things like shadow going "hey wait, have i seen this before?" when he's going through westopolis for the third time can hint at the narrative, and once shadow realizes he's in a loop he's motivated to find EVERY path in search of the full truth. every new story path could be treated as a new game+ as shadow starts to consistently remember more from previous timeloops, carrying over certain weapons, abilities, and memories from his previous experiences.

one really cool idea i saw a while ago on here (edit: FOUND IT! i'm talking about this post) is someone's ShTH timeloop pitch where after a few resets, silver starts to show up and tells shadow to stop messing with the timeline. this continues, and eventually silver becomes a final boss of some of the paths. this idea has never left my mind since i saw it and i need to find the person that came up with it they mean so much to me

i have more timeloop thoughts but i will move on for now

2. simplify or rework the morality system and levels

this is my big gameplay critique - there is A Lot to do in ShTH and very little of it is consistently fun. i have grievances with the morality system i talked about a while ago, the gist of my opinion boiling down to "the system removes agency from shadow and the story doesn't fit within the morals you choose anyway." i'd either MASSIVELY rework the morality system to make it feel worthwhile or just throw the whole thing away. unfortunately i don't have many pitches for what to replace it with since i haven't played that many games with branching stories - maybe the story paths you go down are based on BIG story decisions shadow makes during boss battles or in cutscenes (?) like choosing which boss to fight, which characters to save, what moves or weapons to use, stuff like that. i just want the stuff that leads to branching stories to be more impactful and a little simpler.

this also applies to the levels, of which there are... a lot. and maybe there should be less? i think it would be smart to cut down or combine some of the levels, then really flesh out the ones that matter. and given the non-linear nature of ShTH, i think a version with levels more focused on exploration and combat would fit the game better than the linear mission-based gameplay of the original.

3. MORE GUN

listen man. they advertised this as the sonic game with guns and in my opinion i think they could've done better. i mostly just want a more fleshed out weapons system with upgrades, a little customization, better controls, etc. just put the merchant from resident evil 4 in there and have him accept rings and i would be happy

-------------------------

those are the big points i would personally stick to, but i do have smaller points i would consider as well, including:

make black doom seem competent

explain who the chaotix are working for and fit it into the story

no more "kill this many enemies to progress" missions. please

super shadow can have a gun now

[fromthedragonsdesk]

On Visual Novels and Catharsis

I never had a high opinion of Visual Novels. In my mind, they always seemed to boil down to the most basic wish fulfillment tripe that we'd collectively assign to the isekai genre these days, I'd wager. To me it was a waste of time or energy trying to interact with them (as an aside, I'm well aware that the Phoenix Wright series is arguably a visual novel, but I missed that boat by not having DS-era device). Even today, with a glance over most of games tagged 'visual novel' on Steam, you'll see what could be generously described as fetish pornography. So, seeing all this, I reinforced my belief that visual novels were for people who wanted some plot with their porn, and never thought much of it.

To my surprise, Steam insisted on recommending visual novels to me. I usually just tossed them aside from the recommendation queue, until I got two recommended almost back-to-back: Mice Tea and Changeling Tale.

Mice Tea had generally positive reviews, and many of them cited that the game's writing and characterization were generally humorous and appealing. So, given that it was on sale during the Steam Winter Sale, I figured it was worth a shot. Then, after basically binging on the game for 20 hours, I walked away thinking that I might have misjudged the genre on some levels.

I wouldn't say I was entirely surprised by Mice Tea - the reviews did it justice in terms of you, as the reader, wanting to root for the main cast to succeed. Most of the conflict didn't necessarily arise from an outside force, but rather internalized conflicts and the struggle to essentially be honest with yourself and those around you, risking vulnerability, essentially. At its core, I still felt like it was wish fulfillment to a significant degree, but the implausibilities were generally smoothed over enough to allow for suspension of disbelief to ride along with the story. And yeah, there... was a fair amount of catering to various fetishes and such worked in, but all in a fairly world-consistent sort-of perspective? At its core, the story was light, cheerful with moments of self-reflection and introspection, and wrapped up in a generally nice bow all in the end.

But what Mice Tea ended up doing for me, personally, was allowing me to lower my defenses during a particularly stressful point in my life, staying present in my mind when I then read over the reviews and such for Changeling Tale. I brushed off the emotion reviews, thinking that they were likely being dramatic.

I could not have been more wrong.

While set in a backdrop of old Scottish fantasy, I continually found myself impressed at how grounded Changeling Tale managed to make itself felt. I believe this is because the main character / player character of Changeling Tale (hereafter referred to as "Malcolm") is primarily reacting to the supernatural events occurring around him, rather than necessarily driving them by his own volition. Malcolm is thrust into a world that he already feels disconnected from due to his service in the military, and it cracks further open as fae magic begins seeping into the world around him.

That said, no one in the backwater town in which Malcolm has returned to handles the public appearance of fae magic particularly well, much less the three parallel storylines available to the reader between Jessie, Marion, and Grace. If anything, the most unreasonable reactions come from the player themselves, in how flippant or otherwise easygoing they handle changes happening to the people around them. That said, many decisions have a snowballing / weighted effect that can change plot directions far later on than one might expect, leading to fallings-out with friends and family, or worse.

But then something strange happened to me, as a reader, while working my way through these split storylines. Core messages seemed to stick out to me, interwoven among the stories. But they cut me straight to the core as a person; after finishing all 3 major storylines I was left shaking and bleary-eyed, wishing events could have turned out differently, desperately trying to reject the messages that had been suggested despite knowing deep-down that they were right.

"Be the best you that you can be."

"Encourage people to chase their dreams, but make sure you're pursuing your dream too."

"Sometimes peoples' dreams are irreconcilable with one another. That doesn't mean the love is gone, it just means that it isn't fair to either person."

"The size of the dream does not diminish its value; the holder of the dream determines its value."

(I intentionally omitted the storyline associations I would make)

When I held all of these thoughts together, an emotional dam burst in my heart. For years I never considered myself as having dreams or goals. For years I felt kind of confused and wondering if what I was doing mattered, or had worth. But somehow, a visual novel about fae shenanigans that dances alongside a transformation kink broadsides me with the realization that I AM where I want to be, doing what I am doing. I have a family who l love and loves me back. I am not pursuing a dream; rather, I am cultivating and maintaining a dream I have already attained. I am doing what is important to me and my family, and even if I'm not changing the world around me and leaving a name in the history books, I know that I am here and directly affecting the lives of those around me, and I'm not sure what more I could want for at this very moment.

And for the first time in quite a while, I feel content and satisfied.

[ca-suffit]

I think an important thing to remember when discussing Lestat as a queer icon (since it's a topic on the blog lately) is the fact that he's a queer horror icon. That man was never going to be a good man lol. It's exactly how Dr. Frank-n-Furter is a queer icon despite also being a villain and problematic. It's important to see people that we could relate to or admire in some aspects also be completely terrible, to avoid conflating someone you like with someone you who is good/should be imitated. Especially in the context of domestic violence and abuse in queer relationships. I wish this nuance was more present in fandom, because I don't like how people either treat Lestat like he's just a regular queer icon (as in, they ignore the part that makes him a horror to deal with), or diminish his queerness.

I'm also looking forward to people claiming Louis as a queer icon, I have hopes that it will become a more widespread topic as the show simmers, because I also think that Lestat being heralded as a queer icon in the show comes from decades and decades of him being considered one outside of it. This is the firts time (to my knowledge) that Louis has been compelling to the general public, so I guess with time he'll gain more weight in that discussion. I know it might sound too optimistic, given how black queer characters are usually treated, but I'd rather feel like we can go somewhere with this than feeling dejected.

I would write so many things about Lestat's and Louis' queerness and how they differ and interact and affect their lives and the narrative if I had the time. I'd also like to read/hear more about how Louis' queerness interacts and overlaps with his identity as a black man, so if you (or anyone) have any recs I'll gladly take them.

I think the discussion and even the portrayal of DV in queer (and interracial) relationships is a *huge* one for ppl to sidestep and has been one of the most disappointing things here tbh. we *haven't* seen that explored much in queer stories and it's so fucking *common* irl. there's a *lot* to explore there in so many directions, but ppl skip over that all the time just bcuz they don't want anyone to be "mean" to lestat. u can like things and still discuss and criticize them. as u said, look at the rocky horror picture show and the impact that's had. a lot of queer existence in general is always being "other" somehow, and that's why horror is such a good genre for it. to strip that away bcuz u just wanna play rupaul's drag race with lestat is....I mean, ppl can do what they want on their own, but this collective bullshit of forcing others to conform to this too and thinking ur "right" for doing it is a majority of the reason this fandom sucks. most ppl don't even hate lestat tbh, it's these fans that are the problem. nobody lets anyone meet the story where it's at.

I def think, regardless of what the show ends up becoming as a whole, that amc louis has made a huge impact as a black, queer character in major media. I hope ppl continue to analyze him and be inspired by this character and keep it all rolling forward. nobody expected this to be as good as it was at portraying louis and we're blessed af to have jacob in the part too.

god, I don't remember all the good posts I've seen about louis anymore. I tried to even look but I think most were out of the tags and long ago too. I remember a rly good one talking about claudia's relationship to louis and how he prbly wasn't allowed to play with grace's dolls as a kid, so claudia was kind of his "permission" to do that. it also gives a slightly different perspective to claudia's "doll-like" existence, since this was not something explored in louis in the books or 1994 film.

I feel like, if u or anyone is unfamiliar with james baldwin, reading his stuff will give some irl perspective to amc louis too in various ways. equal in paris is a good S2 companion. I think rolin jones even said giovanni's room was an inspiration for S2 too.

[positivelybeastly]

I have to say that your insight into beast as a character are simply marvelous to read every single time and I can’t help but take the time to read them every single time they pop up on my dash no matter how long. I’m reading that the instant I see it.

It’s fun cause i discovered your blog via the four pillars of hank post and I love the fact of him having a child would be a great next step for him cause it just really feels like it could expand more of him. Also he has the dad energy! Give it to him marvel please >:(

Thank you so much! Every now and then, I do occasionally get little pangs, thinking that I'm just shouting into the void about my hyperfixation on a sad lil' blue guy, but hearing that people are enjoying my thoughts and insights into Henry Philip McCoy does a lot to reassure me that no, it's not just me that loves this big blue lug.

And yes!!! Honestly, Hank feels like the X-character who would easily have been advanced and developed the best by giving him a kid - not only would it have naturalistically have continued his development from Avengers and New Defenders, but it's canonically something that he was scared of, something that he had complicated feelings about!

"It might take after its father."

Like, fuck, man, that is so much to dig into! Especially given where Hank's feelings about his mutation end up going in New X-Men and Astonishing X-Men? There is such fertile ground here - the mutant metaphor is so incredibly wide and encompasses so much, and that includes, oh, I don't know, disability, and mental illness! You know, disorders and the like that could be inherited?

And this is not a story that can be covered by characters like Scott and Jean with their kids, because I'm sorry, three out of three of those kids have invisible mutations that pass with ease, and they don't manifest in nearly the same way as Hank's mutation does over time. There is story here!

And oh my god the dad energy! The dad energy is off the scale!

Hank and Rictor!

Hank and Broo, with added bonus of Abigail mom!

A whole ass gaggle of children!

The man just. Suits, being a father. He always has - and there's so much material that means it wouldn't be a boring plotline! His X-gene and the stories that have been told about its development naturally lead itself to all kinds of supplementary storylines, and honestly, it feels like they were heading in this direction, until . . . well.

Until Bendis.

Bleh.

But still. Now that we're back on track with where Hank is meant to be in general, maybe this is a storyline we can come back to? I'd really like it, tbh. It can even be looked at as an outgrowth of his story about coming to grips with his re-emergence in modern times as a clone - now that he knows about his future, does he have the right to bring further life into being; does he deserve that kind of domestic bliss after what his other self did; who would want to be romantically/domestically entangled with someone with such a past?

C'mon, Marvel. You know it makes sense . . .

[coconox]

my 2 cents on the state of whb

i've been contemplating about my thoughts on this game since i never really sat down and processed it, and a month of not playing the game and just keeping up with fandom content/official game news i think i can properly format my words (hopefully idk lol)

if you're looking for a specific section dw i'll properly format everything under the cut so you can just scroll till you find whatever you're looking for (also head's up it's insanely long i'm sorry but kinda not sorry i wanted to just put all my thoughts into one post rather than multiple)

SMALL INTRO

for some context on my experience, i have been playing this game everyday since launch/day 1, i was f2p up until i got juno's card, which i'll talk about later, but just know in advanced that juno was the only case where i've spent money. i uninstalled around the time the announcement was made in regards to no posting full stories of paid content, so almost month ago, and only reinstalled recently to grab certain items to add to the spreadsheet that i've been maintaining since november (aka a month after launch)

i've said it privately to a couple of close friends but i'll say it publicly here: imho, i think they released the game way too early even with the fact that they delayed launch 3 times.

i understand a handleful of bugs are from the fact that the public servers are significantly larger than test servers, but playing this game after the servers kinda stabilized feels like we are the test players, like we're constantly given rough drafts rather than the final copy.

the localization is rough to say the least, but i think i've been so used to it from other gachas that i've played that it didn't really ruin the experience for me,,, except when the text would switch to an entirely different language HJGFDHJGK

from visual bugs to gameplay bugs to voiceline bugs, there's been a lack of communication in terms of what has been fixed and what is still a wip. instead the players just have to "fuck around and find out" in terms of whether something has been fixed or not.

as i continue to state the issues with this game and its direction i'd like to put a disclaimer that i am by no means an expert in any of this stuff lol. i'm just a guy who nerds out over math, spreadsheets, and video games and everything i'll be saying is my personal opinion based on what i've seen/experienced.

THE ISSUE(S)

SOLOMON SEALS AND GACHA

i think the first mistake was them adding solomon seals in the first place. based on what packs in the past looked like, it looked like red keys were originally designed to be for debut characters, but instead they throw a curve ball and add ANOTHER gacha currency that was essentially p2w only up till some point early this year. this ultimately led to there being 2 standard banners, both of which essentially do the same thing except one doesn't have A/B/C-ranks. the fact that now even with realm of seraphim, in order for f2ps to have enough to guarantee with seals, they need to save for a year and a half. that is WAY too long for ONE character. this is of course worst case scenario of needing to hit pity, i'm aware you can get characters early but you should never always expect you'll get early in gacha games, i learned that the hard way during my idk how many years i've been playing gachas lol

i personally think that there's no winning across any of the gacha banners. there's no pity for either of the standards, and debut L/S-ranks have imo too high of a pity for what we're actually receiving per week. we essentially get more or less 1 pull per week in terms of red keys, yellow keys, and seals through dailies/weeklies alone, though of course that can vary cause of the rng key boxes, monthly login rewards, etc.

PANCAKES

there seems to be a general pattern that i've noticed of rather than confronting an issue directly they try to create something new in hoping that fixes the issue instead. an example of that would be the pancake shop.

the old pancake shop was fine as is, we could get a multi for relatively cheap price and get pie boxes everyday (albeit they're rng but pies are pies). what they could've done was add the L-ranks and skip tickets or whatever new thing they wanted to add into that old shop, adjusting the currency wherever necessary. yet instead they just remove the old system entirely and replace it for a new one that no one really asked for? while having the L-ranks in shop are nice, an entirely new system wasn't necessary to make that one relatively small addition. having A+-ranks and lower give gold and books was also not necessary, we have resource stages containing those 2 things and it's very accessible to everyone. what resources we are lacking in however are tears and pies, which are arguably more important than gold and books since those 2 currencies are the core to ascending/lvling characters and their skills.

PIES

i've emailed pb in the past in regards to if there will be other permanent methods for obtaining pies, and their response was holy coin portal and events. those two are NOT stable enough for pie income considering the prices of skills. if there's instances in unholy board where we need to level a character's skills, i'd expect there to be some sort of resource stage that would allow us to get pies so that we can easily obtain that skill level requirement.

"META" GAMEPLAY

i'll explain the quotes in a bit but i do want to put a disclaimer that whb was the first time i've experienced a full on tower defense style gameplay for gachas. i was already familiar with how it works kinda because of neural cloud even though the game as a whole is more like an auto-chess game of sorts, but some story gameplay had tower defense mechanisms and i learned a fair bit from playing that. personally i also haven't played arknights since i'm trying to cut down on the amount of gachas i play but i am aware of its playstyle through friends who like to attempt to drag me into playing it cause of certain characters that i might simp over (*cough flamebringer cough insider cough chongyue cough*)

disclaimer aside, trying to piece together what characters work and what don't genuinely hurts my brain. i put "meta" in quotes because realistically there's only 1: all L-rank light types, ideally at least 1 tank, maybe 1 healer (though a tank can act as both), rest be whatever dps you'd like really (preferably satan considering the fact he can be extremely reliable without his ultimate unlike a few characters). of course, everyone will have a different opinion on what they deem as meta, but that's the general idea i'd personally follow based on what kind of battles have been given to us, what characters are available, etc. the rest tbh are just "cope and seethe" for lack of a better term.

there's a huge type advantage with light and dark types, and i really wish they could buff the other elements more just show they have some spotlight too. i also wish there were more non-light L-ranks. as of making this post, out of the 23 L-rank characters there is currently only 1 non-light L-rank, and it's juno, an L-rank fire marksman.

the part that really "hurts" me the most (don't really know what other word to put here LOL) is the fact that this game is going in a very specific direction of just dps'ing through everything and hope you clear the stage before the enemies kill you.

this game has a huge and imbalanced ratio between dps characters and support characters regardless of element. the fact that we only have 5 healers (NOT including lucifer (victory) considering he's technically a marksman and the healing is from his artifact and not in his skills) and 8 tanks, whereas marksman and close-rangers have twice or thrice the amount is absurd. what pains me more is the fact that for tanks, if you don't have mammon, you're screwed. arguably the best non-mammon option players have that's accessible is bimet. valefor and eligos share the same kit with the fact that their downfall is the possibility that they could be instakilled the second they pop their ult. healers on the other hand are somewhat more lenient. if you don't have lucifer, marbas is your next best, then gamigin (marbas and gamigin can technically be placed interchangeably since their healing differs by 0.1%, it just depends on who you have), then morax, then maybe buer but he only heals 1 unit at a time rather than multiple but i digress. healers still have multiple and very reliable non-L-rank alternatives whilst tanks really only have 1. i really, really hope there's more support units in the future cause man this sucks.

NIGHTMARE PASS

spending $50-$70, on paper, is significantly better than spending ~$400 for a character, and that's really the only "good" thing about it 💀

$50-$70 may feel like nothing to some players, but to a majority, that is a portion of a cost towards food, groceries, rent, etc. basically, i'd assume a majority of people would prioritize surviving than watching pixels on a screen.

i understand at the end of the day pb is running a business, but for kings to be fully locked behind a paywall knowing for a fact that a majority of the player base are 1. casuals/f2ps and 2. are here for the kings is absurd. plus with the fact that typically nightmare pass characters aren't added to standard and aren't always 100% guaranteed to rerun in the future just puts the nail in the coffin for me.

i think it makes more sense for non-kings like juno to be in nightmare pass because it's just additional fun and silly content that arguably won't be tied to the main lore and whatnot, maybe referenced as a silly bit here or there but it'd be more of an easter egg than something important that you absolutely need to know.

personally i bought juno's pass because i love his design, kit, and voice. story was kinda meh for me personally but i really just cared more about the va and gameplay. gameplay-wise, he certainly does not disappoint as a gehenna support unit. but do i regret purchasing him? yes and no. oddly enough this was probably the first i've ever felt guilty in terms of buying something i wanted in a gacha game. yes i regret it in terms of i'm no longer really playing this game anymore, which is unfortunate considering i barely made it through half a year of this game's release. yet at the same time, no i don't regret it because he is a really fun unit. for example, when it's gabriel's rotation in realm of seraphim, juno's, leraye (nostalgia)'s, and leraye's ultimates absolutely DESTROY gabriel in a matter of like <10 or so seconds and it's so satisfying to see. i also just really like his va, scratches a very particular itch in my brain.

anyways before i get sidetracked over appreciating juno, the fundamental flaws of nightmare pass are essentially

you shouldn't need to buy both tiers to get the character. you should realistically need to buy the highest tier and by default it unlocks all previous tiers below it

ui is a bit confusing. i still don't get why f2ps have to unlock parts of nightmare pass that they can't even access/obtain. there should be a clear separation between what f2ps get, what advanced tier gets, and what premium tier gets.

it's too expensive. most bp's i know are ~$10 at the highest tier, though that's considering the fact that bp's i'm familiar with only give cosmetics rather than actual units

from what i've heard through the grapevine, beel (bath) is basically in the same formatting as all the other currently existing bath cards, which are all currently obtainable through gacha. beel has no reason to be in nightmare pass. it genuinely makes no sense as to why pb put him there aside from getting money and that in-turn alienates a majority of the fan base since we can't even view the prologue of card stories if they're a nightmare pass character.

when nightmare pass was first released during christmas, everything was in chaos. the fact that a nightmare pass character needed the other two limited gacha characters gameplay-wise is absurd (mind you, this was before we were given the chance to earn seals through weeklies). everything was too expensive, and rather than an enjoyable christmas event it felt like a "merry christmas, now give us money" kind of situation. i think nightmare pass should not be happening as frequent as it is now. the gap between gabriel and juno was perfectly fine (4 month gap btw), but for a nightmare pass to happen back to back on top of gacha events is too much for both f2ps and p2ws.

the point of buying packs, bp, anything that costs real money in a gacha game is so it makes your gameplay experience easier, paying shouldn't be the main component of your game. personally based on what i've experienced through playing gacha games you should theoretically be able to pull for almost every character on debut just by playing dailies/weeklies/events, yet here we get a bit over a multi per patch (this includes playing realm of seraphim).

DICTATING FANDOM INTERACTIONS

i wholeheartedly believe a fandom is what keeps a game alive. a hindrance to the fan base is a hindrance to the game, which can be seen with the aftermath of pb announcing that legal action will be taken if full stories of paid content are shared publicly. while i understand from a business standpoint that pb would want to enforce the "no sharing full story" thing for paid content since they want players to yk, buy the card, like i mentioned in the previous section, the majority of the player base just cannot afford it.

the people who posted full stories wanted to share to those who cannot afford it, some people may not want only tidbits of the story but rather the whole context, especially those who enjoy dissecting character lore but don't have the irl funds to fully experience it themselves. some people may even want to archive it, cause honestly no one knows how long this game will stay up and we want to archive story so that it's something we can easily look back on. to essentially make players borderline terrified on trying to figure out whether or not it's ok to publicly post stuff in relation to any sort of story content is absurd.

there is also that loophole of what is defined as a paid story. when events end and get put behind a paywall, does that now count as paid story or is that still ok? what about debut L-ranks that are behind seals and there's a 3 month downtime till they're added to standard? or is it just referring to nightmare pass characters? paid stories in the context of the state of the game right now is insanely broad, it's practically at least 50% of this game (i'm exaggerating (or maybe not i wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case)).

i understand no datamining, while it technically speaking isn't illegal, it's disrespectful to the devs, but a lot of these call to action methods they're announcing are rather extreme imo.

with the most recent cards either being put to standard 3 months after their banner ends or flat out paywalled and not 100% guaranteed to have a rerun, story content as of late has been very sparse. what people want most is a main story update, which we were originally promised to be updated every 3 months and it is now month 6 and we still have nothing.

EVENTS AND EVENT STORIES

event stories being locked behind a paywall after the event ends is probably the first time i've ever seen a gacha game do this. most of the gachas i've played either don't archive event story at all and just rerun it every year, don't rerun or archive the event at all (i.e. if you miss it, cope and seethe), or they archive it for FREE. it feels insanely greedy how EVERY event story needs payment if you ever want to backread an old event.

what also concerns me is the fact like instances like gamigin's event or beleth's event carry so much lore for their respective region and that may never show up in main story, which then screws new players over in not knowing the full context behind every region. events like minhyeok's or bimet's are fine in the sense that it doesn't carry that much lore in comparison to the more recent events. the first few events were like silly banter and getting to know a bit more about the cast.

also changing the event shop from daily pies to a set limit per account was an awful choice it just emphasizes my point earlier of how unstable obtaining pies are in this game.

FULFILLING PROMISES

i think while it was a smart move to list what's gonna be implemented throughout the year, they shouldn't have stated deadlines on when they're doing so.

the following are the things that still aren't implemented yet as of making this post:

new daily chats (expected within february)

friends system (expected within march)

birthday system (more specifically celebrating your bday) (expected within april)

new main story chapter (new chapter expected every 3 months)

if pb were to just say "here's what to expect in 2024" and NOT give specific months, that's fine, but giving these specific months sets an expectation that they would complete it within that timeframe. main story for example is probably the one people have been anticipating the most. by now as of july, if we were to follow the expectation pb gave us, we would currently be on chapter 7, or at the very least chapter 7 would've been released some time this month. we have not even gotten chapter 6 yet. chapter 5 was released in january. it has been 6 months since the last main story update. failing to meet these timeframes will make people upset, because it was mentioned in the announcement that it's 1. a promise (i hope i'm not the only one that takes promises seriously) and 2. in bold yellow text, "what we can realistically expect to see in 2024." the only promises that were fulfilled on-time were the ones in january, the rest have been delayed by at least a month. if you're giving a timeline of what's happening, announce if there's any changes to that timeline, because not doing so will make players believe you were lying to them even though you probably aren't and are instead just falling behind schedule.

i think what hurts more to me is the fact that they aren't publicly communicating these delays. it shouldn't be our responsibility to find out why or when something isn't happening within the timeframe they promised (e.g. by emailing them), it should be up to the devs to communicate that publicly to us. i'm not saying they should overshare what's going on behind the scenes, it can simply just be a simple announcement of "hey, we're very sorry but we're having some technical difficulties with this certain feature and we need more time. here is some compensation in the meantime, thank you for your patience and again, we're very sorry." it's that simple.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i mentioned back in my intro that i feel like this game was released too early purely because the fundamentals of making a bare minimum decent gacha game are just not there. if every patch update has people complaining on what's just recently been added/removed, you're not fully listening to what the audience wants. while i understand pb is a small business, a business is still a business regardless of size and criticism/feedback is necessary especially in a game dev setting.

i've followed this game's news ever since it was teased, which was december of 2022, i've lurked/participated in the fandom (on here at least) ever since september of 2023. i've felt a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions of "omg this is so great" to "why is this even a feature," hoping that over time the game would get better, but the only thing that's improved was server stability (and even that's still a bit rocky 💀).

a huge part of my stay was just being a lurker in the fandom. i genuinely appreciate all the creatives who fulfill asked prompts of characters, make ocs, fanart, write theories, reactions + many more. i love seeing other people's works/opinions and having just a lively fandom made it all more fun.

but at this point this game is just not for me. i've really only stuck around to read mammon's lore but since main story hasn't been updated in 6 months i'll really only chime back in when there's finally an update. it still amazes me to this day that my patience lasted this long. i think i've covered everything i wanted to cover but my memory is swiss cheese so if i forgot something,,, woops 💀

as for the future of the spreadsheet for those who check back on it, it's still being managed by myself and windy, who has been a huge help since day 1 of creating the build lists and team comps and i honestly can't thank her enough for also enduring this pain of a game with me as we've worked on this spreadsheet together hgjdfgh (luv u bestie 🫶). though it's written in the narrative that both of us will eventually quit updating it entirely if this game persists on not having any signs of improvement. when that day comes i'll make sure to post an announcement about it.

as for myself i'm probably still gonna lurk in the fandom/keep an eye out on game news. i doubt i'll be making any fanart anymore unless if i really have the motivation/boredom for it, but currently i'm revamping the "aesthetics" of this account so nothing's really set in stone. maybe i'll make a few whb rambles here or there if some game news really irks me but for the most part i've already been in the process of moving on to other things.

if you've stuck around this long to read this mess of a post, thank you for sticking around and have a cookie, you deserve it 🫴🍪

[kookie-doughs]

Daddy Cupid: The Fake Boyfriend

Modern!Smoker X Reader

-When your father grows weary of your single life, he takes it upon himself to play matchmaker. With him knowing the entire city, he embarks on a mission to find you the perfect match.

Chapter 2: My love so sweet, My darling one

"No, that won't do." You pouted, clinging onto his arm.

"That won't either." Smoker gritted his teeth, pushing you away. "If this was us 'trying things out,' you're being weird."

"But we're supposed to be on a dateeeee!" You pouted, clinging onto his arm with puppy-dog eyes.

"WE DON'T HAVE TO BE THOSE WEIRD CLINGY COUPLES JUST BECAUSE OF THAT. IT'S ANNOYING. YOU KEEP ACTING LOVEY-DOVEY."

"You're supposed to have a crush on me for a while, and when I said I needed to date someone, you volunteered. That's a story. Why am I more romantic than someone who's had a crush and finally given a chance?!"

"But I don't have a crush on you!"

"Well, now you do, so act like it, buddy!" You elbow his side and stomped out of his place.

Yesterday was when you two agreed to act like you're dating. The story you're going with was that you confided in Smoker about the engagement, and he asked you out, not wanting you to slip from his hand. You tried going on a date with him for a week because it's better to date your friend than marry a stranger, and you ended up slowly falling for him.

How were you going to pull those of you have no idea. Especially with you two not agreeing on a single thing aside from the story.

You sit on the floor waiting for the elevator, wearing a pout and occasionally glancing in the direction of Smoker's place, hoping he'd follow you.

Why were you hoping for that to happen?

Because you're feeling petty and you're prideful about the whole thing, but deep down, you know you need him.

But as the elevator opened, your heart sank when your eyes met someone you were hoping not to see. His face reflected a mix of uncertainty and shock. Crocodile, your ex.

"Y/N..." He greeted, sounding a bit unsure. "You live here?"

You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes avoiding direct contact. The rapid beat of your heart resonated in your chest, and your lips quivered with uncertainty.

"No..." The word escaped your lips, a hesitant admission. "I-I'm here with someone..."

His face displayed a mix of emotions, a hint of shock and perhaps something more. Tightening his hold on the box he carried, he continued to look at you, waiting for your next words.

Your mind raced as you tried to make sense of the unexpected encounter. What was it about his presence that stirred up such discomfort? Your breakup wasn't entirely your fault; it was an inevitable parting. So, why were you feeling this way now?

"U-Uhm..." You stammered, searching for the right words. The lingering silence hung heavily in the air, and you couldn't understand why he wasn't leaving, allowing you to escape this awkward moment.

"You're so annoying and ungrateful, you rat. Can't believe storming out when you—" The scolding voice cut through the tension.

Both you and Crocodile turned to the sound, and you've never felt happier seeing Smoker. Relief flooded over you as you got up and ran to him, almost stumbling in your haste.

"Smoker," Crocodile greeted, his tone indifferent.

Smoker wrapped an arm around you, holding you closer, and nodded at the other man's direction.

"Stupid rat, see what you got yourself into now?" Smoker's voice continued, adding to the charged atmosphere.

You nodded softly against his chest not wanting to lift your head.

"Are you the new neighbor? I'd welcome you and all but I have plans right now." Smoker smiled slowly pried you away.

He subtly wiped away the unnoticed tears from your cheeks, the gentle gesture a silent reassurance.

"I have a date with this rat," he grumbled, giving a playful tousle to your hair. "We're gonna go ahead. Feel free to stop by and knock on my door if you need anything. Welcome."

As he waved one last time, his firm grip led you away. The elevator doors closed, enveloping you in a mix of emotions. The unexpected encounter with Crocodile, had finally been comprehended.

"You okay?" Smoker looked at you worried.

You bury yourself to his side and shook your head.

"Got it, guess I'll just have to do this date till you're better." He looked at your solemn state and sighed. "I guess you can cling onto me or call me whatever you want. I don't fuckin know." He grumbled.

"Sorry..." you finally admitted as you walked hand in hand, sharing the ice cream he had just bought.

A teasing smirk played on Smoker's lips as he asked, "You still haven't moved on from that guy?"

Your shoulders tensed, and you shot him a glare. "I-I have!"

"Sure, sure, sure. So why did you tense up and have a breakdown because you saw him?"

"Oh, my sweet love, are you jealous that I reacted like that to my ex? Don't worry, my sweet love, you're all I need nowww~" you cooed, smushing his face with playful affection.

Extending his hand to push you away from him, he hissed, "My darling rat, how about you shut up before I take back this deal."

"Hey, I had a breakdown. You're supposed to pamper me."

"No, I'm not," he declared, walking off ahead, leaving you to catch up.

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@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @nykie-love-anime @angstylittleb1tch @valen-yamyam16 @melodyidk @anicega @littlegreekgirl1 @rebeccawinters @manduse @alextheknight707 @h0n3y-l3m0n05

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I wanna hear about the OCs you tagged on the tarot post

if you're referring to this post, then yes, I'd love to talk about my OCs!

so both Avery and Iris are from a story I'm writing. it's, uh, a lot. definitely not a read for everyone. but I'll give you the sfw summary of their characters

so Irene Sorello works as a maid to the Fiore family, although they just call her Iris since they give all their workers flower nicknames. she has a huge love of witchy mysticism stuff, and was really big into the occult before she started working as a maid.

the Fiore's have a single daughter, named Rosaline. Iris was originally hired as Rosa's babysitter, since her father was never home. because of how much time Rosa spent with Iris, she eventually developed a bit of a crush on her babysitter

Iris was completely oblivious to any of these feelings. despite her love of fortune telling, she couldn't see Rosa's feelings growing stronger as she got older.

at age 18 Rosa tried to confess her feelings to Iris, but Iris turned her down saying that she was too much like family. the spoiled rich brat that Rosa is, she was devastating at not immediately being given something when she asked for it. she moved out of her parents' mansion, while Iris stayed behind. and as much as Rosa loves Iris, she hates her father even more and wants to run away from her family, going so far as to change her last name from Fiore to DiAngelo.

anyway, quick profile of Iris:

Rosa DiAngelo is a world class heartbreaker. people fawn over her for her looks and money. and she's had more one night stands than she can count. but she doesn't feel love. at least not the love she had for Iris.

that is until she meets a young girl at a night club. Avery Fitzgerald is the embodiment of luck. good luck for others, bad luck for herself. while her roommates are incredibly successful (Rachel is married and has a kid, and is graduating med school soon, Violet is in a band that just got a record deal), Avery can't keep a job, or a partner, to save her life. she's extremely clumsy, poor as dirt, and relying on her friends for support. the only interesting thing about her is that she's mediocre at best online video games.

but while celebrating her 21st birthday, she meets Rosa. originally Rosa just wants to take her home for one night, thinking "heh, cute. ginger hair, glasses, she kinda looks like Iris". Avery, however, has never received any sort of affection from anyone, and the moment Rosa calls her a "good little girl", she's already fallen for her. Rosa is a bit surprised when Avery asks for her number the next morning, but she's happy to continue to meet with her. while Rosa doesn't love her, she does find it cute how Avery would let Rosa do basically anything to her.

also here's Avery, looking absolutely adorable:

I won't spoil how it happens exactly, but eventually Avery ends up as Rosa's maid. she's a bit apprehensive at first, especially since Rosa is extremely demanding. I'm planning on writing it so that before Avery fully understands her role as Rosa's maid, she meets with Iris (during a very forced family reunion organized by Rosa's father), and Iris basically acts as Avery's mentor for a time. and of course Iris would give Avery a tarot reading, helping to give some insight into her future as Rosa's maid. whether that reading is leading Avery in the right direction or not is yet to be determined

[dipplinduo]

So you would want to write more Sweet & Sour? Interesting. Anything you wish you could rewrite in hindsight?

(Context: this ask)

OOH this is a good question! xD 'Cause yeah, there's some things I'd handle differently. I could be knit-picky about a number of things, but these are the main ones tbh:

Make Kieran & Juliana have an even slower burn (like pre first-kiss). I pulled the trigger on making them more romantically involved with each other because I knew I was going in that direction and felt that I would've only written repetitively about their dynamic if I kept things where they were. BECAUSE OF COURSE MORE IDEAS CAME IMMEDIATELY AFTER I PULLED THAT TRIGGER- I am a bigggg enemies/rivals to lovers fan, and I don't like it when the pair gets together too quickly. I honestly wonder what I would think about their development if I was a reader lol. (I will say that keeping the fluidity & tension up after the fact was good, though. A lot of books I read suck at doing that xD) But like, stuff like early Kieran taking care of sick Juliana and having conflicting feelings over it? That felt like a great sweet spot. I'd love to give Juliana a little more reluctance about how she feels about Kieran too; I wanted to show that she's compassionate to a fault (and now y'all may see why xDD), but yeah. I really like the early stages of their feelings, and tbh it was part of why I wrote DIOH. I chuck things in there that I couldn't go back on with S&S D.

More flashbacks, especially for Juliana. Although...:) Chapter 22 and CHAPTER 23.... (that's all I'll say on that because I have a plan to address this LOL).

As much as I dislike it, draw out the E4 battles and whatnot. S&S D is by no means a battle-oriented fic but I 100% shoehorned the challenges in to progress a necessary part of the plot and I'll own that. It's honestly one of the smaller things given that the fic has more of a romance/chain lore/dorming au/some slices of life moments in it, butttttt yeah. xD Essentially I'd have Juliana challenge them in a more gradual way.

Some writing style things. As I've been growing as a casual writer, one thing I caught myself doing - unintentionally - is some bait-and-switch writing at times.

E.g. Applins are missing at the end of one chapter -> Applins are found in the next & the plot point is immediately resolved.

It didn't feel like that to me at the time because I wrote the chapters separately at different times & it does take a whole long ass chapter to get there, buuuuut! Yeah! I could see how this could get a little frustrating as a reader (imo); however, I acknowledge it can also give a (positive) episodic feel.

Since I self-identified this, I'm trying to be mindful about it with endgame stuff. There is something coming up that does dress itself up in a bit of a bait-and-switch manner, and I'm gonna work hard to hopefully demonstrate that this was the plan all along (thank you foreshadowing xD)

Another thing is the way I describe things at times. I can tend to get very descriptive because I want to immerse people, but this in itself can likely get repetitive. I will continue the writing style in S&S D for the most part to keep the cohesion in the story though. :)