#this feels lame. i hate missing people i hate that i was stupid enough to genuinely think someone who actually loves me would always do so

[s0urte3th]

i really can’t help but itch

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I am so happy you're back and seem to be doing even a little bit better! We missed you!

I wanted to send a little message, so you can ignore it if it sours your mood or you don't feel like dealing with it, feel no pressure at all! It's just this blog has been a safe space and the community has been so welcoming that I figured I could vent really quick

You know when sometimes the brain just has a really shitty day, like when you draw something and it screams at you that it's trash even though there's nothing wrong with it? I've been having a rough time with it deciding to scream that comfort characters would cheat, probably as an 'You are so unlovable not even fictional characters would be loyal' bullshit. Now, logically, I know this makes -67 sense. But, I was wondering if you could just reassure that like, Sanji, Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Blablablablabla long list of One Piece characters you write for, would not cheat? I'm sorry, this sounds lame to even write out but I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking that asking for help is 'pathetic' because it is not and it only applies that logic to me, never to anyone else.

I dunno man. Brains and bring human ate both though af.

I missed all of you as well. Really and sincerely. I have a tendency to go radio silent when I'm going through a difficult time and I hate it immensely, but hearing that I was missed to makes me all

And yes, oh gods, I know. My brain is frequently my worst enemy. Especially when I'm not writing. My anxiety starts working overtime and my creative drive becomes dedicated to coming up with problems that could potentially happen for me to worry about even more and it's an absolute bitch; or even when I am actively creating and a little voice insists that everything I make is stupid garbage.

This is still very much and always will be a safe space. It definitely is awful to feel that unworthy of love. Full disclosure, I've mentioned in passing before that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type. My main issue is auditory hallucinations that like to insist that everyone I love and care about only tolerate me out of pity and secretly would rather I not be around, which leads to me isolating myself from people. Huge part of the reason I go silent when life decides to be a bitch. I know it's just as bad feeling that way about comfort characters, if not even worse, when we're supposed to have them to help us get through that kind of bullshit.

So let me provide a little drabble for the one comfort character I’m certain wouldn’t ever allow us to continue being so silly about our worthiness of love and affection, because we’re all worthy of such a basic human need. I may do more later, but one in particular jumped at the opportunity to provide this comfort, and I fear he may counter me with his dreaded puppy-dog-eyes should I even dare attempt to wait.

Good Enough

OPLA!Sanji x AFAB!Reader

Lil drabble thingy

SFW, Hurt/Comfort

Possible TRIGGER WARNINGS for depression, insecurity, self-worth

♫♬ Moonshine ♬♫ — The Fratellis (yes I’m STILL on my Fratellis BS leave me be)

"Never knowing is the most evil feeling, when every answer here is none too appealing"

Sanji had always been a flirt. You knew that from the moment you started working on the wait staff at Baratie. Your trust issues had made it a little difficult for you to open up around the young sous chef (and occasional waiter on the frequent occasion that Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen for insubordination), but it was his outgoing nature and perseverance that had ultimately won you over. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world when you were together, doting upon you, all but worshipping the ground you walked on.

But when he was sent out to work the dining area, it always made you nervous. His innate charm, his handsome features—he was nearly always a hit with female customers. No matter how much you told yourself that he was only doing his job, there was always a nagging feeling that maybe there was more to it than that. Watching him interact with a table of pretty young women, who by their clothing and demeanor were obviously far more affluent and sophisticated than you, left you distracted in your own work.

Seeing how they giggled at everything he said, how they fluttered their eyelashes when he brought them their drinks.

How the pretty blonde at the table leaned so close to him while he pointed to something on the menu, close enough to brush her hand across his.

You managed to spill a tray of drinks all over yourself while you were watching, leading to a scolding from the front of house manager. You saw the table of girls from the corner of your eye, giggling at your clumsiness before you were sent off to clean yourself up and change your uniform.

No matter how much you told yourself you were being silly, there was nothing you could do to shake it. The doubts, the thoughts of how easily he could find someone better than you. You had your jaw clenched the entire time you were changing your shirt in the staff restroom, tossing the soiled one aside as you leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and forced yourself to take slow, level breaths.

You were still on the clock. You couldn’t break down. You had to get changed, had to get back to work, had to pretend everything was fine, if he found out you were being so stupid about this then he would definitely drop you like a bad habit, you had to compose yourself or—

Knock knock.

Your eyes darted to the bathroom door, your breath catching in your throat at the sound of the light knock.

“J—just a minute,” you forced out, flinching at the sound of your own voice breaking a little.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, stop it stop it stop it—

A brief silence followed your answer, a silence that seemed to stretch on for miles despite lasting only a few seconds. The familiar, gentle voice that answered after a moment made your hands clench around the porcelain of the sink.

“You alright, love?” You drew in a sharp breath, swallowing, clenching your eyes shut. Of course it was Sanji. You had almost hoped that the manager had come scold you for taking too long. That would have been easier to deal with right now. Your eyes darted to the locked doorknob as it rattled a little. “I heard—”

“I’m fine,” you said immediately, the strained quality of your own words as they met your ears making your hands tighten a little more on the edge of the sink. “I—I just tripped and spilled a few drinks, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” You gritted your teeth, laying your head back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn’t let it go that easily. The doorknob rattled a little again, and you glanced at it as if it were a viper poised to strike out at you at any second.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, don’t—

“You sound—”

You reached out and turned the lock on the doorknob, and turned away from the door, crossing your arms over your half-buttoned shirt and stared down at your feet. After a long moment, you heard the door open behind you.

Evidently you didn’t look any less distressed than you felt. His quiet sigh met your ear as the door shut lightly and the lock turned. “Oh, love, it’s fine,” he said gently, his footfalls echoing quietly in the small bathroom, closing the short distance across the tile floor between the two of you. Your whole body tensed as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his forehead over the crown of your hair with a quiet chuckle. “It’s only a few drinks, it could happen to anyone.”

You shook your head, your shoulders shaking a little. Stupid, it was so stupid, but the words were already leaving your mouth before you could stop them. “Oh, yeah, anyone.” You couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. He had a way of pulling all your insecurities to the surface that no one else did. You pulled your crossed arms tighter, staring down at the white floor tiles for a moment before shutting your eyes tightly, your voice shaking a little. “Especially a dumb screw-up like me—”

“Don’t do that.” His tone came out a little sharper with this, and your breath hitched audibly in your throat this time, your shoulders hunching as you clenched your eyes shut tighter, swallowing back the lump in your throat. As if to counter your stiff posture, he pulled his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer, his thumb rubbing lightly against your waist in a comforting manner. “Don’t, sweetheart. Please.”

The warmth of his embrace already had you relaxing a little. Your shoulders slumped, your body leaning back against him, but your eyes were still burning when you opened them to stare down at the toes of your shoes.

“Was it the manager?” he asked gently, shifting behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder. “If he was being an ass I’ll gladly kick his ass off the docks.” Your breath left your lungs in a slow, trembling sigh as you shook your head no, your gaze drifting down to his hand at your hip, still rubbing lightly against you, your lips curling into a fleeting smile at his offer. You knew you were being stupid, but… “Then what’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice a soft, comforting murmur in your ear.

“I…” You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes as he tilted his head so his cheek lay against your shoulder. “Y—you—“

You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat, drawing in a deep breath, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, thoughts of how maybe this was all a lie, of how you weren’t anything more than a silly little fling to him, how you weren’t good enough, how easily you could be replaced.

You bit your lip, glancing down as his hand found yours, watching his fingers lace between your own…and the breath left you in a slow, resigned sigh.

“It’s stupid,” you said quietly.

“If it’s got you this upset, then it’s anything but stupid,” he countered, and you had to purse your lips tightly to keep them from curving into a small smile as you felt his press briefly against your cheek in a soft kiss. “And if it’s something I’ve done—”

“N—no, you haven’t—” But how quickly you shook your head, how your shoulders tensed, betrayed your worries. “I…I just…” You slowly relaxed once more as he squeezed you against him, his cheek nuzzling against your shoulder, his soft blonde hair tickling against your neck. Still unable to turn your head to meet his eyes, you bit the bullet and forced yourself to voice your worries. “You have beautiful women making goo-goo eyes at you all day,” you said, keeping your voice low in an attempt to keep it steady. “I—I don’t—I’m not—” You bit your lip, your heart racing as you clenched your eyes shut, cursing yourself internally as you felt the tickle of a tear leaving your eye to trail down one of your cheeks. “Y-you could have any girl you wanted. L—like that blonde that was hanging all over you while you were showing her the menu, or—or—”

“Oh, sweetheart…” You weren’t quite able to mask the small sob that hitched in your chest as Sanji loosened his embrace—only to gently place a hand on your hip, guiding you to turn around and face him, to pull you against his chest as you tried and failed to fight back tears. He gently shushed your quiet sobs and stammered apologies as he wrapped his arms around you fully, combing his fingers through your hair as he laid his head over yours. Your eyes remained clenched shut as you fought to control your breathing , as he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead.

Sanji lowered his head and nuzzled into your hair, holding you flush against him.

“I already have the girl I want. The perfect girl.” He pressed another tender kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin, “I have her right here in my arms. And I hope,” he said, his tone turning a little playful as he shifted to rest his forehead against yours, “that I’ll still have her tonight after dinner shift is over.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, smiling as he tilted his head to meet your gaze, puling a small smile to your lips as your cheeks grew a little warmer. “So we can cuddle up together on the balcony…watch the stars…laugh at all the drunk idiots stumbling back to their boats…”

You could practically hear him smiling as a few soft giggles escaped you, as you finally leaned fully against him and returned his embrace, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, relaxing against him. “I…I’m just…”

“I know, love.” The way he called you ‘love’ all but melted your heart now that you were calmed down, pulling a faint smile to your lips. “I know. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if it’s any consolation, I was in the middle of telling that self-righteous blonde bimbo how my sweet, adorable, beautiful girlfriend would wring her neck if she kept putting her hands on me—“ He chuckled as you whined in protest of his praise, tugging you closer and grinning, meeting your eyes without hesitation.

He lifted his hand to your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek, the warmth of his gaze holding yours.

“I—“

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

You both jolted in alarm, your heads turning in unison toward the sound of the pounding on the bathroom door. Before you could so much as glance at each other, a gruff voice spoke up from behind the door.

“We’re in the weeds, Eggplant!” Zeff called . “Get your scrawny ass to the kitchen! And bring your damned girlfriend, we need all the help we can get.”

A long moment of silence stretched between the two of you as you both stared at the closed bathroom door, before your gazes drifted slowly toward each other.

Before you were both giggling under your breath, as you buried your forehead against his chest, a broad smile spreading across your lips as you clung to him.

“I suppose we’ve been summoned,” said Sanji, pulling back from you only enough to gaze down at you, still smiling. “Shall we, then?”

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 13

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Word : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, November 4; 6:45 AM - Cafeteria

We’re all having breakfast together around the table in the cafeteria... well, almost. Leah is still missing. According to Alba, Engen got her out of bed this morning. I then had to explain how I got tricked by Bronze. They all had a good laugh at my expense, and they understood why Leah was absent. I don't regret my idea at all. I loved the evening we spent together. It could have ended badly, but it didn’t. The conversation we had allowed me to get rid of the knot in my stomach that I had all day. Leah finally shows up, slumping into the chair next to me. She must have gotten quite a scolding judging by her expression. Bronze had warned me she’d be in big trouble…

"Hey chica! You okay?" Alba asks him.

"You’re an idiot for asking that," Lotte sighs, rolling her eyes.

"Your mother’s the idiot," she mutters. "Stupid school. I have to deal with Bronze all day because of this crap!"

"Seriously?" I ask.

"Yeah," she sighs. "Thanks for trying to take the fall for me, though. Wiegman thought I forced you to do it, but Bronze defended me, saying it was your idea and you paid the price for lying," she laughs. "Did you really get punished?"

"In a way," I shrug. "Bronze knows how to find creative punishments… I had to do some rock climbing."

"Rock climbing? What a lame punishment!" she laughs.

"Oh, believe me, it was enough. I'm terrified of heights! She didn’t let me come down until I reached the top."

"Ouch, cruel," she mocks. "I hope I get the same kind of punishment."

I stick my tongue out at her in reply. She should just be glad she gets her breakfast. Bronze denied me more than one at the beginning. Leah barely has time to eat before it’s time. We all scatter to our obligations. Mine is to get to class on time. Bronze gave me a reminder this morning after yesterday’s events. She knows the reasons, but two tardies in one day are unacceptable according to her. Especially coming from her student. I'll try not to disappoint her too much today, especially since she seems to have a busy schedule. I'll try to keep quiet. I've managed before, so it shouldn't be too hard to do again.

Wednesday, November 4; 3:05 PM - School

I come out of my last class, relieved that my day is over. I hate classes. It's so boring to sit on a chair all day. One thing I was right about is that Bronze was indeed busy today. I didn't see her all day. Nor Leah, for that matter. Poor girl. I'm sure she’s giving her a hard time. Few people must understand what she’s going through. I do, and I feel for her. At the same time, I thank her. It's the first time I feel free at school. It’s a breath of fresh air. I walk through the halls with Alexia. We’ve decided to spend some time in the library on the ground floor to do our homework. I think I'll take the opportunity to catch up on my long backlog. It must be the Bronze effect. She makes me too serious. I could do without it, but I really need an update.

"Batlle!"

Alexia and I stop and turn to face my caller. I frown when I see Engen. We just walked past her office where the door was closed. She must have seen me on her way there.

"Yes?"

"Good timing. Bronze wants to see you. You have to meet her on the field."

I groan in frustration. I thought I was done with her for the day…

"Now?"

"What do you think?" she retorts sarcastically.

I sigh in annoyance. This is really bad timing. I would have preferred to work on my classes rather than go see her. I nod to Engen, who is waiting for my response.

"Yeah, okay. I'm going."

"Go now. She's waiting for you."

As soon as she says it, she turns back to her office. I smile foolishly as I watch her walk away. This image would definitely please Mapi. She’s totally her type of girl. My contemplation is interrupted by a little shove on my shoulder.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, but it was tempting," Alexia giggles. "What was that about? I'm starting to believe the rumors about you."

"What rumors?" I frown.

"About your sexual orientation."

"Oh, those rumors…"

Alexia looks at me curiously. Maybe she expected me to deny it. I should have, given the smile stretching her lips. I run my hand through my hair. I’m not ready to have this conversation.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"So what? Are you into girls?"

I hesitate for a moment. I would have liked to give her an answer, but it’s hard to get it out. It’s not a trust issue this time, but rather about accepting myself. You never know how people around you will react. The few people who know about my orientation took it well, but there’s always that little doubt that lingers. Once the words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back.

"Can we have this conversation later? Bronze might not be happy if I don’t go to her right away. And it would be better to have this kind of talk in a more appropriate place."

" Ona, I won't judge you if that’s the case. I m gay you know"

I roll my eyes, regretting my overly intense look. It wasn’t even to ogle. Engen is beautiful, but she’s not my type. Now that I've planted the doubt in Alexia’s mind, she won’t let go without an answer.

"I don’t understand why these rumors started. It’s not like I’m interested in anyone here."

"Stop beating around the bush," she giggles. "You wouldn't have hesitated to reply if it wasn’t true."

"Okay, fine," I relent. "I might have dated a girl and I might be a lesbian"

« I knew it...," she whispers. "Why didn’t you ever tell me!?"

"I just did," I giggle, more at her reaction than my answer. "I don’t own up to it, and I don’t like the looks people give lesbians."

"That’s no excuse," she pouts. "It's not like I wouldn’t accept you! You should have known that."

I smile amusedly, seeing her cross her arms and pout. I feel like I’ve really upset her. Was I afraid of her opinion? Not really. I know she’s gay herself. It’s just that I’m not comfortable with the subject. I’ve never been, so I don’t bring it up.

"I never doubted,  Ale. The only friend who knows is my best friend... who is also my ex."

"Nobody else knows?" she’s surprised.

"No, so if you could keep it to yourself, that would be cool."

"Of course," she smiles. « So why did you reject my sister » she jokes

"It’s mostly that I don’t want a relationship. I live on the other side of the country, and I don’t plan on staying here once school is over."

"Batlle!"

I jump when I hear my name echo in the hallway again. I turn to Engen, who doesn’t look pleased to see me still here.

"Do I have to drag you by the ear?"

"No," I stammer.

"Then hurry up before I change my mind!"

"I'll meet you at the cafeteria if Bronze doesn’t let me go earlier."

I slip this sentence to Alexia before hurrying towards the exit under Engen’s disapproving eyes. I slow down once outside, taking a deep breath. I can’t believe I just shared one of my biggest secret with Alexia. I hope she keeps it to herself. If others are to find out, I want it to be from me. I quickly reach the field next to the school buildings. A smile comes to my face when I see Bronze overseeing other students besides me. I recognize Leah and another girl I don’t know well. It’s strange to see others in my place. I walk towards my supervisor, who is reading a book. I envy them! When it’s me, she doesn’t take her eyes off me for a second and encourages me if needed. I take a deep breath halfway to gather courage. I think I know why she wants to see me... I hoped she wouldn’t find out until tomorrow. I hope I’m wrong.

"Hey Bronze," I say as I approach her. "You wanted to see me?"

"There you are," she says, looking up from her book.

"Sorry, Alexia held me up a bit," I admit. "What’s up?"

"What’s up?" she repeats sternly. "You know very well what’s up."

"Oh, right…?"

I try to play dumb, but it doesn’t seem to work. She narrows her eyes in return.

"I know you talked back to your teacher and fell asleep in class,  Ona. Does that refresh your memory?"

"Oh, that..." I say, nervously running my hand through my hair.

Damn, she already knows... I thought I had more time since she’s busy with other students today. Looks like I’m in for another scolding...

"Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?"

"Well, I thought… Just… not right away since you’re busy," I say, pointing to the two running students. "I promise it wasn’t intentional. He started speaking rudely to me. I just defended myself," I argue.

" Ona," she growls. "That’s not the point. You don’t disrespect your teacher. That was one of my main rules I told you from the start! Talking back and falling asleep in class is a big sign of disrespect."

"Two even."

"Stop treating this like a joke!" she yells.

"Sorry!" I jump.

I didn’t expect her to raise her voice. I lower my eyes to avoid hers. Damn, she’s really angry... I only glance at her when I hear her sigh. She runs her hand over her face, looking exasperated. I’ve disappointed her, I can feel it.

"Do I need to change and join them?" I ask softly, pointing to Leah and the girl.

"First, you’re going to explain what happened."

"What?" I blurt out in surprise.

"You heard me. I know the only times you talk back are to tease me or because you’re upset. So I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt by hearing your side of the story."

I’m taken aback. I didn’t expect this when I came here. I thought I’d be punished, not given a chance to explain myself. She crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow. I gather myself as best I can to her surprising request.

"I-I... He yelled at me for talking to Alexia," I start. "It was the first time in class, and it was about something she didn’t understand. I defended myself by explaining, but he just got angrier. He called me a liar and said I only think about myself and never respect anything... H-he added that my father didn’t raise me properly... That’s what made me lose control," I admit. "I responded with some harsh words..."

I stare at the ground, not daring to look at her directly. I don’t feel proud, but I can’t control myself when someone insults my father. I feel nervous. If she knows what happened, she must have read the report my teacher filled out about the incident.

"That wasn’t a reason to lose your temper like that. Your words were indeed harsh, as you said."

It's confirmed, she read the report. She wouldn’t have so much detail otherwise. I avoid looking in her direction, not knowing what else to say. She’s right. From an outside perspective, my behavior was inappropriate and exaggerated. From my point of view, it wasn’t.

- It’s about your father, isn’t it?

I lift my head, surprised by her question. My mouth opens, but no words come out. How does she always hit the nail on the head? I bite my lip. I feel like an open book to her.

- The only time I mentioned him, I got a sponge thrown in my face, she reminds me. This time, you were told your father raised you poorly, and you insulted your teacher. You were lucky it was the end of the class; otherwise, you’d have ended up in the principal’s office, and I wouldn’t have been there to defend you.

- I know…

- I want to understand why you acted that way, but for that, you need to talk to me.

I close my eyes and shake my head. I know what she’s trying to do, but there’s no way I’m talking about him.

- Sorry, but I can’t.

- Ona... she sighs.

- It’s too much for me. I-I won’t talk about him, so just punish me and let’s get it over with...

I feel shaky. I look anywhere but at her eyes. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t talk about him.

- Fine, she sighs. I can’t force you, after all.

- Sorry, I murmur. It’s really a taboo subject for me... I’ve never talked about it with anyone.

- I understand, which is why you lose your temper whenever he’s mentioned.

- Uh-huh... Well, I’ll go get my gear, I say, glancing at the others.

- No.

- No?

- I’ll spare you this time. In return, promise me you won’t lose your temper on this subject again. It’s your choice not to confide, but don’t forget I’m here to help. The teachers don’t need to bear the brunt. They’re just doing their job, sharing their knowledge, and that’s it.

- I can’t promise that, but I’ll try.

She sighs, realizing she won’t get more from me.

- Well, I guess I’ll have to settle for that for now. Do you have any plans after this?

- Catching up on my classes.

- Do you have everything with you?

- I think so.

- Good, you’ll stay with me then.

- What? No, but I was supposed to mee-

- It’s non-negotiable, she interrupts. Keep complaining, and I’ll really punish you for your behavior.

I shut up, not wanting to provoke her. I just avoided one punishment; I don’t want to get another one so stupidly. She calls back Leah and the girl. She releases the girl and asks Leah and me to follow her. We head to her office where Engen hasn’t moved. She’s typing on her computer, not paying attention to us at all.

- Sit there and get your stuff out, Bronze orders, pulling a chair out in front of her desk.

I comply without thinking, given her authoritative tone. I put my bag on the second chair to make it easier to use my things. I glance at her as she starts explaining filing to Leah. I suppress a smile at her dejected look. I don’t even want to know what she made her do today. She looks exhausted.

- Get to work instead of daydreaming.

I turn around as soon as I hear her order. I hate that she knows what I’m doing without even looking at me. I take out my notes as she finishes with Leah. I pretend to be busy when she sits down in front of me. She quickly pushes her stuff—like her pen holder or keyboard—aside to make room for me. I spread out the papers Alexia lent me to catch up. This time I really get to work. It’s easier for me to focus when I know she’s keeping an eye on me, even without constantly watching. The room is silent except for Leah’s groans and the sound of pages or the keyboard. Time flies without me counting the minutes. I’ve never worked so efficiently. I’m so engrossed that I don’t hear Engen approaching from behind.

- So, Bronze, what’s the commander making you do this time?

I sit up from my slouched position, meeting her hands on the back of my chair. She removes them to massage my sore shoulders. I freeze for a moment before relaxing and leaning my head to the side as she bends over my paper, looking at it curiously. She furrows her brows, probably not understanding the content.

- I didn’t punish her, Bronze responds. She’s catching up on her classes.

- You didn’t punish her? Engen exclaims. You’re getting too soft, she chuckles.

- Oh yeah? Ask Leah for her opinion, she retorts.

- Leave me alone and keep me out of this.

We laugh at her grumbling. She must be fed up. Her posture suggests she’s about to collapse any moment.

- It’s not that I’m soft. I was just understanding this time.

- You’re lucky then. If it had been during her period, she wouldn’t have been as courteous.

I was afraid I misheard. I realize I didn’t when Bronze throws a pen that just misses my head. Engen barely dodges it. I chuckle at the thought of Bronze getting grumpy because of her period.

- It’s just a matter of luck, apparently, because she wasn’t courteous with me at all, Leah chimes in.

- Sorry for you, but Wiegman specifically said not to hold back, Engen laughs. She was really mad at you. You dared to touch her precious building, oh my! she mocks.

Tonight’s atmosphere is different from other days. They seem�� More open, more relaxed. Yeah, that’s the word. There’s no pressure, no rules. It’s like I’m dealing with different people. Engen puts my bag on the floor to sit next to me. I didn’t imagine she could be so cool and funny. She’s usually so serious. I glance at the door. The hallway light is off. It’s motion-activated, meaning no one has passed by in a while. The only students who might be in the building are those going to the library, but that’s rare after classes. I guess they’re letting loose because there’s no one else around. It makes me curious about their real behavior outside of the camp. They must be cool.

- She’d better go have a drink to get over it instead of taking it out on me! Leah spits.

- If only, Bronze replies. She’s been on edge lately, she says to Engen. We have her breathing down our necks more.

- Yeah, she’s become annoying. By the way, are you feeling better after your week? she asks me.

- Yeah, I’m better. I’m dreading going home now...

- Where are you from again?

- Barcelona.

- Really? You’re from Spain ? Leah interjects.

- Yeah. I mentioned it on the first day.

- I must not have been there then, because I didn’t know.

- I probably said it before dinner since we only met at that time.

- Certainly! I would have known otherwise. I’ve always wanted to go there, she confesses. Is it a nice place?

- Let’s just say we have better weather there, I chuckle.

- Oh, that’s for sure. Nothing like here, Engen  laughs. You must have been thrilled to arrive.

- I was forced to come here, so I was already depressed before even landing, I share.

- Have you always lived there? Leah asks.

- No. I was born in Portugal and moved there when I was about twelve.

- Oh! We have another Portuguese then. Lucy is from Portugal, Engen says cheerfully.

It takes me a moment to realize who Lucy is. My eyes immediately fix on Bronze, who doesn’t seem pleased.

- Seriously, Ingrid ? she scolds harshly.

A smile spreads across my lips. I exchange a knowing look with Leah. We hold back laughter at Ingrid’s dismayed expression. She just realized her mistake.

- Crap, it slipped out, she says, biting her lip to hold back a smile.

- It’s not funny! It’s okay to relax, but you crossed the line.

I giggle to lighten the mood. This only earns me another glare from my supervisor. She should be intimidating, but I’m too euphoric for it to affect me. It must annoy her, given how strict she is about rules.

- It’s okay, relax, Leah intervenes. It’s not like we’re going to shout it from the rooftops.

- Look on the bright side, Lucy, I say, emphasizing her name. At least I won’t bother you about knowing your name anymore. It suits you, by the way.

She looks at me for a moment before sighing. I’ve been dying to know her name for so long. I knew I’d find out eventually. She hinted at it in one of our conversations. I think she didn’t expect it to be this soon. Maybe she just wanted to wait until the end of the year, which would also be understandable. Anyway, I mean it when I say it suits her. It’s unique, like her personality.

- Thank you, she replies. But I would have preferred if you didn’t know. We risk a lot by letting this kind of information slip out.

- I won’t call you by your first name if that’s what you’re afraid of, I roll my eyes.

- We both know you love breaking the rules.

- Yeah well, I giggle. I can’t help it if I enjoy teasing you!

- Of course. You can never help it.

- Hey, it’s fine, Leah says calmly. It’ll stay between us. This was by far the best evening I’ve spent ending up here. So I guess we can do this for you, she shrugs.

- Still, this rule is pointless.

- It’s there so you have more respect for us since we’re young, Engen explains.

- It’s to avoid you getting too familiar. We’re not your friends. Right, Ona? my supervisor jabs at me.

- I never wanted a friendship, I retort. Just a bit more friendliness, that’s all.

- Oh, she gives you more than you think, Engen laughs.

- I’m supposed to guide you to become better, that’s all, Bronze responds. Some students tend to forget that. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you my first name because I know you’re dying to use it.

I bite my lip. Yeah, she’s probably right. I feel targeted when she talks about students being too familiar, and it’s true that I’d love to use her first name. I understand better why this rule is important to her. I’m still the only student who dared to be so familiar with her. No one else even thought about it. To think it was just to annoy her at first. Now it’s more out of friendliness than anything else. I really appreciate Bronze.

- We won’t spread it.

- Good. Our surveillance has already doubled since the infamous relationship. The last thing we need is to defend ourselves over this, Engen says.

- What relationship? I frown.

- A relationship between a student and an instructor. Both were expelled, Bronze informs me.

- You’re actually the replacement for the student, Leah adds.

- I didn’t know that.

- Naturally, the principal kept it under wraps, Engen explains. We’ve had increased surveillance and additional rules because of it.

- That’s really lame.

- Let’s say you came at the wrong time, Leah says. You were cooler at the beginning of the year, to be honest.

- It’s not up to us. Believe me, if we could, we would be, Bronze admits. We were asked to be stricter with you because, according to her, there was a slackening.

There’s just too much information all at once. So the instructors are not only under control but also have to be less friendly and stricter with the students. It’s completely ridiculous. Okay, there was an inappropriate relationship, but that’s no reason to punish everyone.

- Anyway, Ona, Engen pulls me out of my thoughts. It’s rare to see a student come in the middle of the year. It’s actually the first time it’s happened. What did you do to end up here?

- Not much.

- Not much? Leah snickers. If you’re stuck with Bronze from the start, it’s surely not for nothing!

I frown, looking at the concerned party. It’s true that I was told she handles the worst cases since she arrived. She’s known for her cruelty. I shrug.

- If I tell you I didn’t do anything special. I found out my mother is friends with the principal, I explain. She just has no influence over me and wanted to place me somewhere. I never killed anyone or stole anything, I say ironically.

- Well. Strange way to place her daughter, Engen comments.

I smile slightly. That’s for sure. Well, the truth isn’t entirely there, but it’s kind of the summary. Lucy has been watching me from the corner of her eye for a while now. I avoid her gaze because I know she’s very observant. She’d quickly find out I’m not saying everything. I distract myself by putting away my copy that I just finished transcribing. I still have a lot to catch up on, but it’s starting to decrease slowly.

- Well, that’s enough for today, Bronze finally speaks. We’ll let you go. It’s dinner time.

- Hallelujah!

Leah drops to the floor the second she’s freed. We laugh, watching her. I think she’s had her fill for the day.

- Behave a little better, it’ll give us a break, she says.

- Oh, come on! We all know you love seeing us suffer, I tease her.

We laugh again as we pack our things. Leah gets up to put away the last folder she used. I sling my bag over my shoulder, waiting for her to finish.

- Batlle, my supervisor calls me.

- Yes?

- Since I didn’t punish you for your disrespect, you’ll do me the favor of coming here after your classes until you’ve caught up on all your coursework. Understood?

- I guess, yeah...

I’m in no position to complain. I know she’s punishing me in a way by reducing my free time, but I could have gotten much worse. If the other evenings go like this one, I’ll come willingly. Leah joins me at the door. We wish them a good evening and a good appetite before leaving. We decided to go directly to the cafeteria after checking the time.

- I feel like you might be the one to change things here.

- How so?

- It’s the first time since the incident at the beginning of the year that I’ve seen the instructors relax. It felt like going back a month in time but ten times better!

- I’m not doing anything though, I reply, shrugging.

- Yes, you are. You break the rules. That’s unheard of since she’s been here. The worst part is, she doesn’t even scold you every time you do it! I don’t even know how you stay so indifferent to the sanctions you receive. I just find it incredible. No one here reacts like you.

- If you say so, I murmur.

I don’t try to contradict her, even though everything she’s saying is false. It’s so much easier for me to play the role of the person everyone thinks I am. Apparently, I’m incredible and confident. Yet, I’m just a girl eaten up inside. I couldn’t be happier that Bronze is my supervisor. She’s understanding, and I feel listened to and supported. That’s what helps me accept my punishments. I know she’ll only inflict them if she has a good reason. I don’t find her as terrible as the rumors say after spending time with her.

- Well, I laugh. No one has ever been able to control me completely, and that’s not likely to change.

- Yeah, well, I don’t know how you handle Bronze. She made me endure some things today! I thought I was going to die more than once!

I giggle, thinking she’s exaggerating. Well, maybe not after all. Bronze did force me to scrub toilets one day. I think I’ll never forget that memory. Leah looks exhausted, so I don’t doubt she went all out. My supervisor is disliked by many students, if not everyone. Yet, they don’t know what they’re missing. She’s cool if you get past her cold side. Her punishments aren’t my favorite, but she’s always been fair with me. Our relationship has evolved too. We know each other now. I’ve reached the point where I’m starting to trust her enough to open up. She’s always been there to encourage and push me through my difficulties. That’s what I was missing, and that’s why I’m not afraid of her. I know she’ll be there for me if I’m feeling down. If I’m afraid, it’s only when she’s really angry with me, because then I know I’m in for a hard time. In those moments, I shut up and let her explode. Other than that, I know she’ll always be there for me. It’s with a smile on our faces that we pass through the cafeteria doors. Unlike Leah, I don’t think I’m the one who can change things here. A simple student like me doesn’t have the influence to change a school like this. All that matters to me anyway is finding myself, and I hope to achieve that.

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!

Fang (x2)

“🦈🦈🦈”

“He's Fang ❤”

Cody Jr (x2)

“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”

Mr Coconut (x2)

“The og. Should have won every season /serious”

vince the alligator (x2)

“SWEEEEP”

“The lore… so immaculate”

the don box (x2)

“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”

“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”

wt pineapple (x2)

“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”

“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”

Irene the fish (x2)

“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”

“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”

the chrarry baby (x2)

“Goo goo gaa gaa”

“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”

Princess Beth Doll

“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”

Old Jester from reboot S2ep9

“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”

Bobo :)

“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”

DJ’s bunny

the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made

“I wanna eat that thang”

Dramarama Cody

“He's an alien”

Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)

(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)

“shed sweep”

that evil little seal from wt

“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”

caleb rock

“possibly the best version of him out there”

the skull duncan carved for courtney

“you cant deny how iconic it was”

eva’s mp3 player

“the most important character in td history”

heather’s various hairstyles

“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”

pahkitew island

“The best one”

Myself

“:^)”

ryan seacrests car

“very fast”

chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)

“MY CAR!!!!!”

alien clone cody

“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”

chris's wig

“wiggin”

heather's wig

“wiggin”

total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails

“You ate it!”

trents five finger shirt

“5”

princess courtney CD

“all the greatest hits!”

owens butt

“fart”

anne maria’s hair style

“Ey im walkin here”

bridgettes surfboard

“BONK”

the fake antlers from the paintball ep

“Duncney”

manitobas fedora

“served!”

beary <3

“it’s LITERALLY beary”

ripper’s world record breaking fart

“he did it”

the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt

“funny looking”

sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*

“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”

*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).

waynes accent

“Eh we play hockey eh”

mal ventriloquist doll

“aaah im evil mal doll”

alejandro puppet

“we do a little trolling”

Chef 2.0

“He made him from a cashew”

Mt. Kīlauea

“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”

Immunity idol s4-5

“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”

MK's infernape

“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.

Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!

Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”

the drone of shame

“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”

that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan

“mm giant bowl of rice”

noah’s dog

“his epic dog”

celine dion cardboard cutout

“love fucking wins #duncney”

the face huggers from Area 51

“rip tyler”

ezekiel MISSING milk carton

“Sad! He died.”

the eagle chris shot and killed

“someone arrest this man. again”

the confessional

“it’s always there for you”

geoff’s splinter

“OW”

the bread from codys pants

“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”

That ice cream snowman from SMS

“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”

bear

“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”

that pizza chase threw the challenge for

“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”

Momma's Spice

“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”

The Gilded Chris award

WT barf bags

“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”

the toxic marshmallow of loserdom

“killer of staci's hair”

The lavatory confessional

“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”

Courtney's PDA

“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”

The Cassowaries

“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”

Fire-breathing winged mountain goats

“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”

Giant Beetle

“Dott shippers will like this one”

Mutated Maggots

“They're pretty cute!”

Six-Legged Rats

“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”

scott bird

“what a beautiful bird”

Chef's car

“It may play a role in mkulia canon”

Gethin

that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot

“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”

The cassowary that fell in love with Zee

“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”

The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"

“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”

The Erymanthian Boar

“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”

The dock of shame

“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”

gwen's blender necklace

Zoey's hamster (Miss Puffycheeks)

“It's cute and can punch a cat, need I say more?”

[3point14a]

some responses to some questionsss hehehe!

1)

He is in fact a germaphobe! this is also the reason why he doesn't eat meat despite being a carnivore! you can grow out and control your own plants but you cant really do that for meat. Also in his head plants are just inherently cleaner, so off he goes to be unhealthy!

2)

the hands are sadly not those 3, (also, cami and owynn's hands are easy to spot since i give them the little doll like separations with the fingers and all that!) The hands at the start are his own hands: Long nails -> short nails -> gloves. Its like, meant to show how his fear is snowballing and getting him to change himself to feel even remotely comfortable.

Bit of more context for Town just for fun idek :P: We did not want to give him dead parents because ONLY SO MANY PEOPLE CAN HAVE DEAD PARENTS OK! so i listened to his song and took notes and tried to recontextualize it to having alive parents and what i came up with is:

Parents love animals a lot, have some injuries related to their job, it freaks Town the hell out because he's really afraid of getting sick/injured having infections and all that. He hides being upset by that because it's "not normal", he unwillingly ends up distant from his parents because of it and misses them REAL bad but cannot bring himself to act closer and help them with their job because it freaks him out. He's so happy and chill and normal all the time, tries and feed stray animals to say feel at least a little bit like his parents and every time he hates it but he still does it because he's stupid.

bit lame but i tried lol

3)

axolotl! We had enough foxes already and enough PINK foxes too so bro had to take the bullet and go change lmao ToT

anyways yeah that, always love to get tags and see your guy's thoughts or comments!!!!!! you all are awesome i love tags i love tumblr werewolf tearing shirt off

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Version 5 is the good sauce.

Consider: All might wants to protect Izuku from this horrible fate.

So he flirts with Inko.

Now Izuku is in the most dramatic situation, because he has a hero and a supervillain both trying to compete for being the best stepdad.

All for One doesn’t want to lose to All Might on this. The petty competition is using his entire focus.

All Might managed to get a job at Izuku’s school? That means more Izuku time! How dare he? All for One tries to convince Izuku to drop out and accept private tutors (who can homeschool him from the comfort of a bank vault). Izuku shoots that down quick.

So there’s only one logical solution: All for One has to get a job at his son’s school.

Nedzu absolutely recognizes the Symbol of Evil. After putting a super-binding contract (All for One cannot harm or steal quirks from staff, students, or their immediate families while working at UA without explicit consent). All for One is bound by the power of a reality altering quirk that forces people to comply with contacts.

Part of the deal includes the fact that All Might had to sign the same contact. All Might isn’t allowed to kill students, the horror.

Aizawa does the whole logical ruse thing, and All for One feels his murder instincts flare up. Unfortunately he’s bound by a contract. He could use his contacts to kill off the man, but that would ruin the joy of murdering the teacher himself. So instead, All for One uses facts and logic to point out the various flaws with Eraserhead’s teaching strategy.

Izuku didn’t want his step dads embarrassing him at school, and doesn’t want his new friends to know about family drama. He talks with All Might about keeping their relationship teacher-student while at school. All Might agrees. He talks to all for one about the same thing. All for One disagrees at first, only for Izuku to say “well All Might can do it, but I guess you’re not good enough”. So neither of Izuku’s step dads are revealing their connections.

All for One uses the hero name Demon King. Nedzu allows it. All for One shows up in his cosplay to work.

All for One accompanies the teachers on the USJ trip, very much bragging about how All Might is missing it. Then Tomura shows up. Oops.

All for One uses a telepathy quirk to tell Tomura to retreat or face the consequences. Tomura realizes that All for One is in disguise, and tries to help by sending Nomu after All for One. He then flees with Kurogiri.

All for One has to beat up his own Nomu, along with many sub par villains. He protects the students and Eraserhead well. He even does it without murder, because that would traumatize his stepson and lose him dad points. (Also, Izuku pointed out that All Might could probably take all the villains down without murder. When All for One called his bluff, Izuku used statistics to back it up.)

All for One tells Tomura to back off afterwards, and that some things are in play that have to be completed. Tomura realizes that All for One has become lame, and is trying to use him as a pawn in a really stupid scheme, one that doesn’t actually do anything in the long run.

Tomura realizes he’ll need to team up with a different villain. So he teams up with Overhaul, a guy that also hates heroes and society and wants to destroy things.

Todoroki realizes that his teacher, the Demon King, used multiple quirks. He has theories as to whose dad he could be, and approaches All for One with these theories.

All for One is compelled by the evidence and looks into his family tree. Because he’s had affairs with so many relatives of heroes, and then abandoned them when he got bored, All for One is actually the relative of lots of people. He’s Shouto’s great grandfather, Monoma’s father, Yaoyorozu’s grandfather, Aizawa’s grandfather, one of the Waterhose duo’s step dads, and shares DNA with Nedzu for some reason. All for One is the ultimate deadbeat dad in this au. The only person he shares no dna connection with is Izuku Midoriya.

Izuku is suffering once he hears this. Go after your actual kids, all for one! Why do you need to flirt with Inko?

All for One tries to step into his relatives lives, because of course he does. Aizawa is randomly coddled by his coworker? He hates this.

All for One and All Might commentate the sports festival for the first years. All for One very much plays favorites. Izuku is no longer alone in his suffering.

Todoroki asks if Izuku is the son of All for One and All Might. Izuku sobs. Todoroki specifies that he wants to be Izuku’s brother-ish? Izuku accepts Todoroki as a sibling, but denies All for One as an adopted dad.

Izuku avoids breaking bones in this au, since All for One would use a healing quirk on him. Specifically, the one that heals through prolonged skin contact (cuddles). All for One loves having excuses to cuddle his son for extended periods of time.

Stain targets ingenium. Iida is now murderously raged. All for One offers murder tips. He’s such a good teacher. Would all might do that?

All for One wants to take his kids for internships. Nedzu points out he’s not a hero. All for One decides to take the heroics exam, purely to take his kids on internships.

Izuku goes with Nighteye for internships. It’s all part of his plan to prank all for one. Specifically, he starts calling Nighteye ‘dad’ just to mess with the villain. All for One is furious.

Meanwhile Overhaul and Tomura have been working on killing All for One. They have the perfect weapon.

All for One gets attacked by a Nomu with a machine gun. The quirk erasing bullets manage to get rid of quite a few of All for One’s quirks. All for one is saved by none other than All Might.

Izuku helps Nighteye track down the attackers, but they’ve already fled. Izuku learned to use One for All quite a bit better. Nighteye doesnt want the quirk to go to Mirio, since it comes with a supervillain trying to become your dad apparently.

The final exams. Izuku and Shinso go against All for One. All for One loses when he hears Izuku call him ‘dad’. It was just Shinso mimicking Izuku’s voice. All for one will never live this down.

Tomura realizes that All for One has a weird fixation on Izuku Midoriya. So he kidnaps Izuku on a trip to the mall.

Izuku is in the clutches of Overhaul and Tomura. After some experimentation, it’s discovered that Izuku’s blood combined with Eri’s can create something that erases quirks forever. Not only that, they can release it as a gas. There’s this organization called Humarise that is incredibly interested.

Izuku’s friends and dad-adjacent figures are all trying to figure out where he went. Hopefully they can find him before it’s too late.

AU where instead of going through the usual "killing you and all your family" road when it comes to previous OFA holders, AFO slept with every member of Nana's family.

[liquidstar]

absolutely no one asked but im thinking about the “i love emilia” scene and how misunderstood it is by nerdboy fans that kind of miss the whole point of the series. subaru’s rejection of rem is narratively a rejection of the typical isekai power fantasy. 

when subaru was first summoned to lugnica, he instantly assumed he was getting his very own isekai power fantasy, he thought he would have the coolest magic powers and his own harem and whatnot. and well, those tropes are still somewhat there, but its a deconstruction so hes not really getting what he wants. not only is his return by death ability a very very isolating one but also a painful and traumatic one, and its not even a flashy cool superpower, its literally one that only works so well because hes weak enough to constantly die.

so by arc 3 subaru feels somewhat robbed. he always had a bit of a tendency to treat the people around him like characters (literally, he calls people NPCs) and he had a tendency to boil them down to tropes and sort of expect that they act a certain way, that things would go a certain way because hes The Protagonist. but things arent going according to his script. the final nail in the coffin is when he gets humbled by julius at the royal selection hearing, julius is literally the “knight of knights”, an ideal subaru will never have.

subaru claims he entered the royal selection hearing and fought julius for emilia, but emilia sees right through this and rightfully calls him out- she tells him he only did it for himself, that he doesnt really know her, that hes constantly projecting his own will onto her. shes right in every sense, subaru has placed her on a pedistal and can no longer treat her like a person, the “special treatment” he talks about isnt something she wants but he doesnt care what she wants. he only cares about what he thinks she wants, whatever works best for his fantasy. he’s literally objectifying her, its not subtle. so she packs her bags and leaves.

so subaru sulks in the capital while rem watches over him. and rem stays with him and supports him and comforts him despite his terrible fucking disposition- arc 3 subaru becomes borderline unlikable at times, especially when he decides that the witch cult attack on roswaal’s manor is a good thing because he can play the part of the hero and save emilia and force her into a princess role once again (remember shes running for KING). but eventually hes faced with the grim reality of the situation, like, its really fucking drilled into his head how messed up this is. 

and he realizes hes not a hero. he breaks down in front of rem and confesses what a pathetic loser he actually is, how stupid and lame hes been, how much he hates himself. and she tells him that she loves him and....

actually, let me go on a tangent here, im going to skip ahead to arc 4 because... arc 4 subaru actually perfectly mirrors arc 3 rem. so forgive this rambling for not being linear. anyway, in arc 4 subaru has overcome his feelings of entitlement, but he loses rem, the person who encouraged him, the person who he still did love very much (maybe not in the same way, but he did love her). and now he hates himself twice as much. he hates himself so much that hes actively suicidal. 

his most obvious parallel for suicidality is beatrice, yes, but the way in which he’s self-sacrificial parallels rem. rem, who literally calls subaru her “reason to die” and throwing herself into danger- thats the same shit subaru does in arc 4 to save everyone. subaru sees no value in his life in arc 4, neither does rem. for some reason people ignore rem’s inferiority complex, her lack of self confidence due to just being ram’s little sister. ram is LITERALLY the reincarnation of a god so we cant blame rem for feeling a bit... sidelined compared to her twin. her love for subaru is selfless, but selfless to a fault.

but subaru is also a fantasy for rem; one of the series biggest themes is “self recognition through the other”- essentially the way people see you vs the way you see yourself, and how in a sense both of those are equally real. rem literally sees subaru as her hero, she sees him the way that he expected himself to be seen when he came into this world, she sees him as the fantasy he wants to live out, and as her own fantasy as well. she literally tells him about the fantasy life she imagined for them in the future and everything. 

subaru initially offered her this fantasy in an attempt to run away from the events at the manor, he told her they could run away together and live out their lives. and rem rejected him, because her love is selfless, because she understands that this fantasy isnt right- she puts that over her desires. and she still confesses her love, to show them that hes worthy of it for who he is too. 

and through this its made even more clear that rem IS the fantasy, the girl that would stick by you no matter what, worship the ground you walk on, see you as a perfect power fantasy hero no matter how plain you are. but shes still a realistic character, she only works as a fantasy if you refuse to see her as one (like subaru used to) and ignore the fact that her love is also flawed, self-destructive, and co-dependent one. meanwhile emilia is the reality, the girl subaru cant force into a box, wont solely depend on him, and wont be projected upon- she demands to be her own person, with every fiber of her being, because we all know how much emilia hates being treated like someone shes not.

so... after some encouragement from rem, subaru chooses not to take the easy (slothful) route. he tells rem straight-out “i love emilia” and this time he means it in a true way.

and a million nerdboys who wanted to fuck rem cried their eyes out that night because they wanted to live the fantasy vicariously through him, missing the entire point of the series. subaru crushed the fantasy by choosing the reality. 

and the character development really reallt stuck- arc 4 subaru and emilia are frankly kind of adorable. not perfect given the horribly traumatic shit going on, but when emilia had her mental breakdown in the trial and started to act incredibly dependent on subaru, he was absolutely horrified to see her so traumatized because he knows she would never want this- he no longer wants her to depend on him especially at the cost of her on sanity. and subaru would later reference rem’s “i love you” speech to him by giving a similar one to emilia, giving her the same encouragement rem gave him. 

[lilsocksiswriting]

Fandom: Jujitsu Kaisen

Paring: Sukuna X Fem!reader

Summary: Sukuna realizes that by dating you he may be creating a horny little monster and he's ok with that.

Warnings: NSFW, No Beta, minors DNI, 

Tags: College/modern Au, more fluff, very suggestive themes

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist

Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

Author Note: I would have included the sex scene in this chapter but I’m feeling real slutty for a parallel with the first chapter.

You don’t wake up from your alarm blaring right next to your ear causing your heart to lurch in your chest. You simply wake up. There is not even that small moment where you feel like you’re about to cry like a baby because you want to go back to sleep. You feel refreshed, good, ready for the day and that stupid final exam.

 You still don’t want to get out of bed. At least not yet. You want to enjoy this time laying in Sukuna’s bed before your thoughts catch up to you. Everything is so warm and comfy, and you slept so well. The kind where you wake up with sheet impressions, drool dried across your cheek and soaking into the pillow. Only you weren’t laying on a pillow.

 You sit up abruptly, waking Sukuna up with a startled grunt. Sukuna hates when people disturb his sleep. But all his anger dissipates when he cracks his eyes and sees your face staring back down at him. Your face is red with embarrassment. Dried slobber glues a few stands of hair to your cheek. You look so cute like this.

 “I’m sorry.”

 His face falls. What did you have to be sorry for? What is for the past week? Couldn’t you just forget about that for a little while longer and enjoy a morning with him?

 “I-I drooled all over your shoulder.”

 Oh, was that it? Why do minuscule things like this make you sound so guilty? You did this same thing last night too when you left your tears soaked into his shirt.

 “If it bothers you that much in can invest in something more waterproof to wear around you. Did you sleep as good as it looks?”

 You nod, “Yea, it was the best sleep I’ve had in a while actually.”

 Sukuna smiles triumphantly and folds his hands behind his head. “Good. Then you should be rested enough to tell me what the hell’s been going on with you.”

 “You know a small part of me was holding out hope that you would have forgotten about that long enough for me to sneak out.”

 “Ha, not a chance doll. In fact, I might not even let you leave this bed,” waking up to the warmth and weight of your body alone was enough to arouse him. He really did have it that bad for you.

 “And how would you plan on doing that?” the banter came out easily.

 The tattooed man just has to give you that stare and lick his lips to cause your cheeks to heat up.

 “Would be ashamed if you had to miss that final of yours.”

 ‘Would it?’ because honestly losing yourself in these sheets with Sukuan didn’t sound as bad as it should.

 “So come on, out with it.”

 “I’ve…” though you weren’t tired, and you can actually think, this is still hard to put into words, “I really fucked up. I’ve been such a horrible person. A horrible, stupid person.”

 “And how have you been so horrible and foolish?”

 “I- oh god,” you have to look away from Sukuna. Choosing instead to focus on the scattered sketching paper atop his desk. “I had this really big stupid schoolgirl crush on you when I first started to hang out with Yuji. You know, like, the best friend's hot older brother kind of crush.

But then I started to get close to everyone and I was like ‘wow this is what having real friends feels like. Which, I know, sounds pretty lame. But just having formed like Yuji, and Nobara and Megumi made me realize that all the friends I had back home were so…surface level. They wouldn’t hold my hair back when I got sick. They didn’t care if I was overworking myself. They really just cared about reputational and how we looked out friend’s group looked to those outside of it. But that’s beside the point.

The point is that I was afraid of losing that. Of being all alone at this big new school. I was so afraid of losing these first real friendships that started to make up reasons why we wouldn’t be a good match. But then I had to start thinking about why we wouldn’t be good together. And I guess- no I know at some point all those reasons kept telling myself just started to sort of snowball until I was making all these assumptions about you being a bad person. But you were never one in the first place, ok wall not as bad of one as I made you out to be. 

You had feelings for me this whole time I and I just fucked that all up with the way I acted and made assumptions.

 I wanted to apologize for the way I always thought the worst of you even when you were trying to be a good person to me. But I was so stressed and tired, and I could barely think of anything beyond finals and work, and I wanted to give you a genuine apology. I want to give everyone a genuine apology for pushing them away. I just don’t know if I can find the right words. I mean would an apology even do anything. What if I already ruined everything e with everyone?”

 You take in a shaky breath. Sukuna is relieved. This wasn’t something that was entirely his doing. He is still confused.

 “Why did you say had?”

 You look back to Sukuan mimicking his face of confusion, “When? I kind of just word vomited there. I’ve surprised that was all coherent.”

 “You said I have feelings for you.”

 “Oh,” you guess you did, and you are remained how much that realization hurt. “Uhm yea, I ruined my chance with you- “Sukuna’s bedroom walls blur for a moment, and you find yourself under an annoyed-looking Sukuna quickly laying back in bed with him. 

Sukuna just stays there above you, hand on either side of you. Just glaring, saying nothing to help you figure out what was going on in his head.

 “Um, Sukuna- “

 “Shut up. I’m thinking.”

 “Of?”

 “I said shut up.”

 You open your mouth to say something, but you really can’t think of anything besides the fact that Sukuan isn’t always angry or annoyed. He just has a resting bitch face, doesn’t he?

 “I’m shit when it comes to bluntly say stuff like this. I’m not all for deep emotional talks and all that. I can see how I came off like the arrogant ass to you. And you were never full wrong in those assumptions as being arrogant and an occasional ass is my brand of charm. It still wasn’t ok for you to go making assumptions like that. I should have just come out and said that I liked you a long time ago instead of beating around the bush and hoping you’d get the message”

 You blink up at Sukuna who continues to look down at you waiting for a response. But all you can think of to say at the moment is, “You still like me.”

 Sukuna sighs and his eyes flutter close, “My god y/n seriously?”

 “What? I- “

 “Yes, I am fucking like you. I like so many things about you. I like how you can look like you’re about to take on the work and win. I like that I can be myself around Yuji and you aren’t intimidated by me. I Like that you call me out on shit and don’t back down until I apologize. I like your body. Fuck, your body is amazing. And when you dress business casual? Holy fuck y/n, that shit drives me crazy-

 You slap a hand over Sukuna’s mouth before he can go on. “Ok ok! I get it now. I- I just wow. I- “a smile breaks out across your face and giddiness blooms in your chest.

 Sukuna licks the palm of your hand, and you jerk it back. He’s smiling too. So, you did get to see that softness his face can take again after all. Your hands come to cup Sukuna's face, and he lets you pull him down closer to you.

 “So does this mean….”

 “Mean what?”

 “Well since we both still have feelings does it mean, ya know,” you try again hoping he’d catch on

 And Sukuan has caught on, he’s just Sukuna. “Oh, of course, we can doll, 12/10 dick right?”

 “No- I mean that too, but does this mean that we can, ya know.”

 “No, I don’t,” he says then drops his voice to that sinful tone. “You got to use your words doll.”

 It’s too early for him to sound that hot and make you feel this turned on. But it works he wins. “Does this mean we can date?”

 “I thought that was obvious.”

 “So, is that a yes then?”

 “Yes,” Sukuan rolls his eye but closes the tiny distance between you two. Between the small kisses, Sukuan confirms,” We’re dating. You’re my girlfriend. I’m your boyfriend. We’re lovers now. In a relationship. Together. Spoken for.”

 You don’t let him pull away that time. Your hands slide up, combing your fingers through his short pink locks. All it takes is a nibble on your bottom lip to deepen the kiss. You two stay like this, engrossed in each other until you need a deep breath.

 You turn your face away from Sukuan apologizing as you catch your breath,” Sorry, I probably have morning breath.”

 “Rancid.”

 “Shut up.”

 “We should get up anyway. You need to get ready.

 Sukuna rolls off you so that you can get out of bed and go about your daily routine of getting ready. Since you’re final was just a written exam you don’t need to dress up which is good because you don’t have any clean clothes. In fact, after going through your morning skincare routine and brushing your teeth you decide to just stay in leggings and Sukuna’s hoodie.

  Downstairs in the kitchen, Yuji’s grandfather is at the stove fishing up a pan of bacon. At the table, Yuji, Nobara, and Megumi excitedly wait for everything to be finished up. When everyone looks at you, you’re suddenly at a loss for words. Or more specifically there are so many words swirling in your head that you don’t know where to start.

 So, your left with your mouth gapingly like a fish out of water. You’ve ever apologized to friends before. You never had friends to apologize to before. Anything before the three were fake. fake smiles, fake happiness. This was real. This is something you don’t want to lose. So, an apology might be a good place to start.

 “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have, um shut everyone out like I have.”

 “And?” Sukuna’s voice behind you makes you jump.

 “Um, I-I’ve just never had friends like your guys, and I didn’t know how to do this, apologize that is. I still don’t think I’m doing right, like saying sorry isn’t enough. But here I am trying,”

 “And?” Sukuna urger’s again and you rack your brain for more words to grab onto.

 “I promise to not do it again. If I’m having a hard time, I’ll talk to someone.”

 “And?”

 “I just really don’t want to lose you guys as friends, you’re like the first real friend I’ve had. Sad sounding but true.”

 “And?”

 And? and what else. What was she missing? What else was there to tell?

 “Um, me and Sukuna are dating now.”

 “And?”

 “I hope he doesn’t make things awkward.”

 And?” Sukuna's tone is amused, and you don’t pick up on it because you’re still stuck on thinking that you’re missing something.

 “We’ll um, we’ll work out system. Like a sock on the doorknob or something so that no one walks – “

 “Nope, don’t even go there,” their grandfather cuts in pointing the spatula over your shoulder. “And you, stop torturing the poor girl. She’s said enough.”

 “Gramps is right. Sorry was enough.” Yuji adds.

 “I just wanted to see how long she’d go on for.”

 You turn your head to glare over your shoulder, “you are an ass.”

 “And you’re very attracted to it,” He retorts stealing a quick kiss and then heading on into the kitchen.

 You do your best to suppress a mile and follow suit. You feel lighter. Happier than you’ve been all week. Everything has come to a head and passed. This is what has come after, and it is nice. You had thought of the worst-case scenario, but never the best-case scenario. You and Sukuan have taken a seat at the table.

 “So, who confessed?” Nobara asks

 “Um, you,” you point at Sukuna who laughs.

 “Not a chance. You the one would have to ask multiple times to make sure we were dating.”

 “But you did confess to me first.”

 “Nope. You did.” 

 “I did?”

 “You probably didn’t nice it because you were just rambling on and on.”

 “I- “you cut yourself off and slump your shoulders because yea that sounds like something you would do.

 “I win,” Megumi pipes up.

 “Oh?”, you curiously ask,” what’d you guys bet on?”

 Sukuna didn’t share in your amused curiosity,” You three dweebs bet of us?”

 “We bet on who would confess the feelings first,” Nobara corrected and went on to explain,” Megumi was the only one who bet on y/n I bet you would, and Yuji bet that neither of you would nor we would continue to a bear witness to the great pinning.”

 “I was not pining.”

 Their grandfather comes over from the stove to place down the plate of bacon with the rest of the food he’s cooked.

  “Oh yes you were and even I was getting fed up with it,” He gripes while taking a seat on the other side of Sukuna.

 “I wouldn’t call it pining…”  Sukuna’s continued protest now seemed more like pouting that no one paid any mind to being too busy filling their plates. 

 “So, what finals you kids got left?”

 “I’m the only one with a final today, right?” 

 The three other students nod in agreement with their plates now full.

 Wasuke grits his teeth then snaps at the three,” Then why the hell did I cook breakfast for you three if you ain’t even got finals anymore?”

 “Reward?” Yuji offers.

 “I thought you said last night you were going to make breakfast because you didn’t trust me to make it.”

 “Certainly not after that little comment you made last night,” There is a pointed tone on Wasuke’s scolding.

 Sukuna, being as arrogant as he is, leans back on his chair and swings an arm across the back of your chair. You realize too late that he was seizing this as another opportunity to make your face beat red. “Who am I to judge my girlfriend's taste? If she likes a little something extra on her eggs, why am I to deny her that? “He cuts her eye to you. “Especially when I have so much of it.”

 Megumi scrunches his face up. “Do we even- “

 “ANWAY!” you nearly screech. “My final. It’s with professor Ully.”

 “Ully, that old geezer?”

 Yuji scoffs trying to stifle his laugh. “I don’t think you much younger than him gramps.”

 “At least I know how to use the godman Blackboard.”

 “Amen to that.” You raise a glass of orange juice Sukuna had poured for you. “He’s the one that doesn’t everything on paper remember.”

 Nobara hums putting the pieces together,” Oh gross, and isn’t your final, like an essay questions test?”

 “Exactly.”

 Breakfast goes on like this, light conversation and complaining about the semester’s professors with Wasuke throwing in a bit of gossip here and there with that gripey tone of his that almost made it seem like he was uninterested in the whole thing.

 When breakfast finished Waskue hades upstairs to pack for his end-of-the-year fishing trip. With the five of you on clean-up, it only takes a few minutes. You and Sukuna take up washing and drying the dishes.

 “So, the strip tonight?” he asks.

 The strip was one street a few blocks from campus that was just bars. You and the gang plus Sukuna would always go bar hopping to celebrate the end of another semester. You have some fond memoirs of stumbling home, laughing, and drunkenly trying to order from whatever fast-food place was nearby. Sukuna would have left you four longs before then with his arm wrapped around someone’s waist and his hand lips against their ear. You don’t tell him how would take a shot of something strong to burn away the pang of jealously. You wanted to be the one he wraps up his arms. The one who he was probably whispering sweet and lewd little nothings to. 

  And now you were.

 “This will be the first time going out with a partner. Do you think you can behave yourself? Will it be too jarring for you?”

 “You trying to tease me doll but you’re failing so bad l. I’m just wondering if you’ll leave early with me or am I going to have to take your drunk ass to get Taco Bell.”

  “Leave early?”

 He nods tossing a glance over his shoulder before dropping his voice so that only you would hear him. “I get wanting to celebrate, but I want to take you home tonight and make love to you.”

 A little noise gets alighting the break of your thought.

 “What?”

 “Didn’t expect you to ever use the phrase ‘make love to you,” you admit handing him another plate to dry.

 “I think it’s a nice way to encompass all the things I wanna do to you.”

 “And what sort of things do you wanna do to me.”

  Sukuna smirks and explains “I would offer to take you up to my room and show you, but I’d hate for you to miss your final. But if you must know I want to fuck you the way I wanted to fuck you that night.”

 “Oh,” is all you can say because your head gets a little fuzzy at the thought of it.

 “That’s all?”, his face falters

  “No. Just- my mind went a little blank at the thought of mushy gushy romantic sex with you.”

 And the arrogant smirk is back.” Oh, I’ll make you so gushy you won’t be nothing but a puddle who can’t even think.”

 “OK!” Yuji slaps his hand on the counter he was just wiping down, “If this is gnat to work, we need a ground rule here. No dirty talking or anything dirty of the sort while in our presence got it.”

 You’re unable to hold back a snort of laughter and hold up your soapy gloves. “We’ll be sure they stay three whole bibles lengths apart.” even going so far as to take a step away from the tattooed man. 

 “As far as you’re concerned little brother, we abstinence. No kissing until marriage.”

 You two break that vow right before you head out for your final. Sukuna wraps his arm around your waist and spins you around to give you another quick peck on the lips. You can’t stop the giddy giggles on the way out. It just feels so nice to finally be able to not hide your feeling or deny you have them anymore

 “You know we are happy for you.” Nobara notes as the for of you walk to campus. “But can we please keep the verbal fucking down to a minimum?”

 “Thanks, and I promise I will try my best. I can’t say the same for Sukuna. Now, what are we wearing tonight?”

 Your final went just how you thought it would. Quick but painful. Your hand is cramping so bad as you make your way back to your dorm. Your roommate is still at her final, singing her lungs out in a place that isn’t the dorm. Something you are extremely thankful for

  You spend the rest of the day clearing up the disaster left behind by the week and lounging around in bed still in Sukuna’s hoodie. You smile goofily to yourself because that was another plus to dating Sukuna now; you don’t have to buy warmer clothes. It would be a con for Sukuna since he was about to have a lot of lees holies and crew necks.

 When it gets dark you get ready for the night and head over to Nobars’s dorm to help her get ready. The boys meet you at the edge of campus. In the semesters before Sukuna would have simply given you a smirk and some sort of teasing remark. He still doesn’t that, only with the added part of tucking you to his side and keeping you warm on the walk over. 

 Something else is different though. It’s not something wrong. At least you don’t think it is despite the uneasiness churning in the pit of your stomach. It’s not something that everyone else seems to notice either so maybe it's just you. But what is it? What was making you feel so nervous?

 “Doll?” Sukuna finally asks while in lone for the I.D check after you’ve been quiet the whole way to their first bar.

 “Hm?” you look up.

 “You just seem to be in your head.”

 “Oh, I’m fine- “you stop as you look continues to look into Sukuna’s face, it has the same hits of concern from last night. You suddenly remember what caused that concern and how you might be doing it again. “I um, well…I think I’m nervous. I’m just not very sure why?”

 Sukuna watches you gnaw on your bottom lip. He can practically see your mind working overtime to try and figure it out. He knows that it’s a lot more than just some nerves, but at least you not trying to hide that something’s bothering you. The line moves up and Yuji gets his I. D checked. It’s too late to ask you to elaborate on it but Sukuan doesn’t forget it.

 Once Megumi comes back with the first round of drinks you almost feel like you were never nervous, to begin with. Everything settles into normal. The only difference is that you are setting tucked into Sukuna’s side with his arm around your shoulders. You want to enjoy this but there is just this thing in the back of your mind that you can’t hide tiny that makes you feel uneasy. It bothers you.

 After drinks, the three go off to the dance floor while you and Sukuan sat behind to watch them. You would usually go with the three, but Sukuna’s firm arm keeps you in place. 

 With the trio gone leaving the quiet booth to yourselves so he can finally ask you, “So nervous?”

 You slump a little and take to sliding your index finger around the rim of your empty glass. “I should just stop holding out hope you’d forget this kind of stuff huh?”

 “It’d be a lot easier if ya would. And to stop to avoid talking about it too. We know what happen last time. Don’t get me wrong the head was great, but I’d rather have you suck me off without all the drama.”

 “How do you just do that? Say naughty stuff like that?”

 “Don’t change the subject.”

 “I don’t know why I’m nervous,” You admit quickly like it was a shameful thing that you don’t know how your own mind works.

 Sukuna glances from you to the trio of idiots currently jumping around on the dance floor and screeching out the lyrics to the song blaring on the speaker. He was stalling for time. Making sure that what he said next wouldn't be too vague. You were the only one trying to change after last night, 

 “I think you think too hard about stuff.”

 “Was that supposed to be reassuring?”

 “Yes? I hoped it would at least. Do you have any idea of what's making you nervous?”

 “That’s the thing. I can’t. I don’t want to be anywhere else but here with everyone. Like I’m excited and happy to be celebrating and to leave with you to have some awesome sex. But I’m still just nervous. And I can’t figure out why.”

 “Have you ever felt nervous like this before?”

 “I don’t think so. But I am all honestly…. but in all honestly these nudes feel kind of new to me,”

  And there it was. Sukuna bites the inside of his cheek bit doesn’t work. He still laughs. It’s cute and funny and he just can’t help it. The glare you look at him with is even funnier because you really can’t see it.

 “Y/n do you think you are nervous because this is new to you?”

 “What do you mean? I’ve been out to a bar,” you point an accusing finger at him, “With you before.”

 “Yes, you have. But we’re together now. You don’t have to shoot me dirty looks because you're the one who gets to take me home. Because we’re out at a bar as a couple. “

 “I was never jealous.”

 “Never said you were a doll.”

 “I hate you.”

 “Haven’t you always?”

 You only stick your tongue in reply. Sukuna presses the back of his thump into the underside of your jaw making you crane your neck so he can lean down for a kiss.

 When he pulls away, he warns in a tone that almost makes you think he’s daring you instead, “Now, now, don’t be a brat tonight, I wanna so easy on you tonight.”

 “Is it really that simple?” you ask in disbelief.

 A coy chuckle makes your stomach flip, “Let’s not find out yea?”

  You let out a small huff leaning your head on his shoulder. “No dumbass that that’s the way it is. Am I really nervous because this is just something new to me?”

 “I dunno, you tell me.”

 “…. I’ve never done this before.”

 “What did I say about using your words doll?”

 You huff,” I am. I’m trying. I’ve never been out with someone like this. My dates have been pretty vanilla. Like nice dinner and a movie ya know. Like I said: surface level. They didn’t me feel like this. All giddy and stuff. “

 “That sounds kind of sad. But also, is more proof to my theory that I am the only man to have ever made you cum.

 “You don’t have to remind me,” you tell him. “I just don’t know what we’re supposed to do ok. God, I sound so freaking clueless right now.”

 “What do you want to do?” Sukuna’s serious tone catches you off guard

  You to sit straight so you can look at him. “What do you mean?”

 “You’re here tonight to celebrate another semester and I’m not here to put a damper on that.”

 “But there's got to me like boundaries something?”

 “Wow, doll what naughty things are you thinking about.”

 You feel your face flush with heat. You weren’t thinking of anything of the sort. You just couldn’t get acclimated to the idea of that much freedom. You had grown up around rules and structures that extend to all parts of your life, including dating. To suddenly not have nothing to dictate how you behave and tell when what to do- well it was scary, but it also made you feel drunk and giddy with the power.

 “Whatever I want?” you ask, mind getting lost in the sea of possibilities now before you.

 Sukuna swallows at the sudden change in your voice. At times like this, he wonders if you are aware of how seductive you can be. Your lips are parted slightly and look so inviting. Your eyes are full of so much desire and Sukuan wants to give it all to you. Whatever you want. Whatever you desire.

 “Yes, “he answers trying to sound somewhat like he’s not getting lost himself, “I’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do y/n,”

 “Oh?” fuck that coy smile goes straight to his heart. Your eyes cut back to the dance floor. Absent of the trio who went off to get another round of drinks. 

 When you return your attention back to Sukuna, he can tell you challenge him. Testing these new waters. “What if I wanted to take someone home with us?”

 Fuck, you were so God damn perfect.

 “Oh, you want a toy to play with?” he refuses to look away from you. He probably couldn’t even if he tried to excite to be hearing this side of you. “Why even wait? You could have any one of these people following you into the bathroom like a lost puppy. We could have them between us within the hour doll. Or would you rather me watch as you make them come under your touch? Or are you the type to like an audience while I fuck you?”

 You open your mouth to say something but quickly close it and grow beat red. You’re the first to break and it causes a smug sense of satisfaction to swell in Sukuna’s chest.

 “Ok, yea. It’s going to take some work to get used to that. Don’t think my confidence is quite there yet. Seriously how do you do it?” 

 “A threesome not your thing?”, he teases.

 But then you look back out the dance floor and bit your lip. It makes Sukuan get the sense that he’s watching the beginnings of a monster being made.

 “Another conversation for another day.”

 “Are you blushing,” Yuji asks coming back to the table followed by Megumi and Nobara.

 You cup your cheeks. They were warm but Yuji shakes his head and points a finger at his brother. “I mean you.”

 “No.” Sukuna answerers with that a pointed glare that told his brother to shut up. But you can see now too.

 “I made you blush!”

 “Don’t let it go to your head doll.”

 “Too late”

 After another round of drinks, you want to join the dancing this time. Sukuna lets you pull him to the dance floor with everyone else and with the thumbing base so loud you must pull Sukuna down so your lips are pressed into his ear.

 “I can’t wait to go home with you tonight!”

 Sukuna's chest thrums as a large smile plasters itself across his face. You can’t hear what he says but the way he pulls your hips into his and smothers his face into your neck tells you he is very happy to hear that.

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

the moment i knew // bucky barnes

Summary: When Bucky comes back from a mission with Natasha you can’t help but think something has changed between you and start doubting if this relationship is something Bucky really wants.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: insecure reader, jealousy, miscommunication, curse words, angst, fluff, drunk reader 

A/N: As always, please remember English is not my first language. I tried my best to write this, please don’t be rude. Also, thanks to @pistachoz​ for helping me and proofreading this!!

divider by @firefly-graphics​

You had never considered yourself as someone jealous, you believed it was an awful feeling, irrational. But you couldn't help the sense of discomfiture forming in the pit of your stomach when there was evidence for you to feel that way. Bucky has been on a mission with Natasha for two weeks, this was the first time the two were sent alone. In the beginning, you didn’t worry about it because- you were aware of the past your boyfriend and the black widow shared, but Bucky had always assured you that it was in the past and he didn't see her as anything more than a friend. He made sure to show you every day how in love he was with you, and you didn’t remember the last time you felt this happy with someone. 

But this mission changed everything. 

Bucky usually calls you to check on you, even if he’s busy he always finds a way to text or call you, but this time he hadn’t even answered you. You got worried at first, millions of thoughts of what could have happened racing in your mind, but when Natasha contacted Tony to assure him they were okay, all you could wonder was why hadn't your boyfriend contacted you.

You gave him the deficit of the doubt and tried not to take his avoidance the wrong way but when they came back, he went straight to his room without even sparing a glance your way. What game was he playing at? What has happened on that mission to make your boyfriend act this way?

“You should go to talk to him,” Wanda advised  “I’m sure there’s a reason for him acting this way”

“Oh yeah? And what is it?” you scoffed. 

You were in Wanda’s bedroom. She was your best friend, always supporting you when you needed it, this time was no different.

“Y/N, you know Bucky. He’s not that kind of guy. I’m sure there’s a reason. Stop being stubborn and go to talk to him”

You looked at her; she was giving you the “mom look”. You sighed. You loved Bucky, and you didn’t want to lose him. There had to be a reason, right? You knew he loved you, he even said he wanted to grow old and have a future with you. 

You get up from Wanda’s bed. “You’re right,” You walked out of your friend’s bedroom and made your way to your boyfriend’s room. When you reached the corner of his hallway, you hear a door opening and people laughing. You put your head out the corner and you saw Natasha on the doorstep of your boyfriend’s bedroom. He was there too. Shirtless. She laughed at something he said and you didn’t catch and she smacked his right arm in a joking way. He was laughing too. You had never seen your boyfriend laugh that way with anyone other than you. Or Steve. And maybe Sam. But with Natasha? Never. Also, he hated when people invaded his personal space and touched him without permission.

You huffed as tears pricked at the back of your eyes and made your way back to your friend’s bedroom. Once there, you closed the door and slid to the floor. All the anger you once had turning bitterly into sadness, poisoning every fiber in your being. Tears started to blossom on your eyes and sliding through your cheeks. Wanda ran towards you and embraced you in her arms, asking what had happened, stroking your hair, in an attempt of calming you.

Sobbing you tried to tell her what you saw, the more you cried the hard it was talking and breathing for you. Wanda got you up from the floor and walked you to her bed, she cupped your face in her hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks.

“Breath, Y/N” She breathed in and on with you until you calmed a little. 

You didn’t understand how he could do this to you. After all the things you had done for him. All the panic attacks, all the nightmares, and the sleepless nights you shared with him. And that is the way he repaid you? Going on your back with your friend?

And Nat, you had trusted her, the countless times you had told her things you would say to anyone, she was your friend and she assured she felt nothing for him anymore. She assured what happened between her and Bucky was done. You feel betrayed by two of the most important people in your life. 

If he wasn’t happy with you, he could have told you. Yes, it would have hurt, but not much hurt as the one you were feeling right now.

“Are you sure that was what you saw? Maybe you misinterpreted it,” Wanda was trying to help, knowing Bucky and Natasha, it was impossible to think they would do such a thing to you.

“Wanda, if you saw Vis shirtless laughing at night with another woman in his bedroom, and this woman is touching him, what would you think? How can you misinterpret that?” It wasn’t about being open-minded, permissive, or controlling. It was about respect. There are things you don’t do if you are in a relationship with someone. He was out a lot of nights with Sam and Steve, and you were okay with that. You didn’t mind if he has girl-friends. But what you saw today and his attitude towards you in the last two weeks was something you could not ignore.

Wanda paused for a moment, thinking about what to say to you to make you feel better “Well…if they’re really doing this to you, then fuck them. They don’t deserve you,” your friend stated, “this defines them, but not you.” 

You sniffled wiping your nose with the back of your hand. Your eyes were red from crying and they started to hurt. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

You usually slept with Bucky, either you went to his room or he came to yours. But tonight that wasn’t an option. Possibly, that wouldn’t be an option anymore.

“Of course,” She wasn’t going to leave you alone when you were going through such a hard time. You had always been there for her, and now she was going to be there for you.

When Pietro died, and she came to the Avengers Compound you were the first one to came and check up on her, you didn’t ask her how she was feeling, that was a stupid and obvious question, you just stay there with her, offering your support. And from that moment she knew you were going to be a very important part of her life.

“Now try to sleep. If you don’t rest, you won’t heal”

The next day came sooner than you would have wanted to. The sunlight coming through the windows made you rub your eyes. 

“How did you sleep?” Wanda was lying next to you, she had just woken up a few seconds before you. 

“Not my best night,” You sat up in bed and rubbed your temples. 

You felt her hand on your shoulder and you looked at her “I’m with you, okay?” You’re not alone,” She gave you a reassuring smile.

You were going to have to face Bucky and Natasha, and you weren’t prepared for that. When you reached the kitchen, you could hear their laughs again. The same laughs from last night. You took a deep breath and pursed your lips, trying to suppress the tears that were starting to form in your eyes. Not again. Not in front of them.

When your boyfriend noticed your presence, he turned his attention towards you, a wide smile spread on his face. “Hey, doll” He started to make his way to you “I went to your room last night but you weren’t there” Was he seriously like he didn’t ignore you for two weeks and yesterday acted like you didn’t exist? What a scoundrel.

He hovered over you, trying to wrap his arms around you but you dodged him. A confused look formed on his face. “I slept with Wanda. You seemed very busy, didn’t want to bother you.” You didn’t let him answer, just made your wake to the counter to pour two coffee mugs, one for you and one for your best friend.

Everybody was wearing confused looks at your behavior, you had never acted this way towards Bucky; you were quite the opposite, always hugging, kissing, or holding hands. Your PDA was something that drove the team crazy sometimes, but they were happy for you. Acting like this set alarms on everybody’s head. What the hell happened between you two?

Bucky tried to talk to you the whole day but managed to slip through his fingers. He wanted an explanation. He wanted to know what he had done to make you act this way towards him. You two were fine when he left on that mission, so what had happened in that two weeks he was gone?

He finally found his chance when he caught you alone in the gym. This time you wouldn’t walk away.  

“Y/N,” his voice was firm but not harsh, “Can we talk, please?”

“I don’t have time” You kept punching the bag and ignoring his presence. That’s it. He had enough. He grabbed your arm and turned you to him. Face to face.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Let me go” You pointed at your grabbed arm with your eyes and he let you go. 

Bucky huffed. “What did I do?”

You looked at him perplexed. Was he being serious?  “Are you really asking me that?”

“Y/N, honestly. I don’t know what I did.”

“You didn’t call, and neither answered any of my texts.”

“Really? That’s why you are mad? My phone broke and I couldn’t contact you”

You chuckled. What a lame excuse. “Of course. What about Nat then? You could have asked for her phone”

He frowned. “I told her to text to you, to tell you I was okay”

“Well, she didn’t”

“Maybe she forgot. I don’t know. It’s not much of a deal”

You were starting to get exasperated. He didn’t get it. 

“You know what, Bucky? Fuck you!” That was the last thing you said to him before you left the gym. Wanda was right. He didn’t deserve you, and he didn’t deserve your tears either. 

You didn’t hear of Bucky for the rest of the day. Now you were sitting in your bed, a framed picture of the two of you in your hands. Your eyes started burning. You missed him. You didn’t want to miss him. You two were happy, didn’t you? You didn’t understand what you had done wrong. 

You hear a knock on your door, you put the frame down on your bed and wiped your eyes. “Come in” 

The door of your bedroom opened to let you see who you used to consider a friend. What was she doing here?

“Get out” you got up from bed abruptly and pointed at the door. Natasha looked at you shocked. 

“Y/N, w-” you didn’t let her finish her sentence. 

“OUT. NOW.” But she didn’t budge. She just stayed there, looking at you. You finally got tired and pushed her out of your bedroom.

“Y/N, Calm down. I just wanna talk to you” You didn’t answer, closing the door in her face. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.” you called the AI system.

“Yes? Miss Y/N.”

“I don’t want anyone in my room. Don’t let anyone in. Only Wanda.”

“Alright. Miss Y/N. Do you want me to let Miss Maximoff know that you want to see her?”

“Yes, please.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y did as you told, and a few minutes later you hear a knock at your door. “Y/N. It’s me” You opened the door and crashed into the arms of your best friend. 

“Let’s get out of here. Please get me out of here.” The redhead looked at you worried.

“What happened?” she questioned.

“I don't wanna talk about it now. I just- I can’t be here”

Wanda looked at you sympathetically and wiped the tears off your face the same way she did last night. 

“Okay,” she nodded “Let’s get out. We are going to have a girls day”

When you came back to the compound it was late at night. You were stumbling, arm slugged on Wanda’s neck. You had drunk a little too much, trying to cop-out. Your mother always said that being drunk is the anesthesia of the fools.

“Best night EVER!” you yelled, raising your fist to the air.

Wanda hushed you. You were going to wake up the rest of the team. “Wan, you're so hot.” you keep babbling, Wanda laughed, she was going to make sure to remind you this night tomorrow. “I love you soooooo much”

“I love you too, Y/N”

“You’re like my best best friend” 

“You drank too much, Y/N. You need to sleep”

You shook your head, “No, no Imma go talk to him”

Wanda dragged to your best. “You’re going to sleep. You can talk to Bucky tomorrow”

“NOW!”

“Now you’re going to sleep” Wanda stated, getting tired of your drunk state. You looked at her, she looked so intimidating, you nodded like a scared puppy and did as she told. The moment your body hit your bed you fell asleep. “You’ll thank me tomorrow,” She said before stepping out of your room.

Sunlight streams golden through the window. You raised your heavy eyelids halfway only for them to fall shut again. The aching in your skull ebbs and flows like a cold tide. Now you understand why they call it a hangover. Perhaps some painkillers would help.

You hear a knock on your door, you groaned and wrapped yourself in your duvet, hoping that whoever was out the door would just go away. But the knock persists, louder each time.

Once on your feet the room swayed, almost causing you to lose balance and you reached for the wall. This feeling made you think you had to have fun last night but somehow it wasn’t in your memory.

The reflection on the mirror in the wall shows no sign of the glamour girl of last night. You rubbed your eyes before opening the door. 

“Wanda told me you would need this,” Bucky handed some painkillers and a glass of water in his hands. The cracking in your head and your dry mouth were too strong to ignore them and to kick out your boyfriend. You took the pill from his hand and threw them in your mouth followed by the glass of water.

“Fun night?” he asked, entering the room and closing the door.

“You could say that”

Bucky sat in your bed as you went into the bathroom. “You never handed alcohol well,” he chuckled under his breath.

“Bucky, what do you want?” you asked tiredly

“You and I have a pending conversation”

You sighed. “Now it’s not the best moment. Besides, I look awful”

“You always look beautiful,” he said softly, walking carefully to you, he brushed a piece of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Don't do this. Not now.” you closed your eyes, melting under his touch.

“Don’t do what? Telling you how I feel?”

“What happened between you and Nat?” you finally asked, the alcohol remaining in your system putting your defenses down. You didn’t want to fight. You just wanted to know. What Natasha had that you hadn’t?

Your question didn’t startle Bucky, not shocked him either. Little you know, Wanda had gone to his room last night, after she made sure you were asleep to question Bucky about his behavior towards you on the last few weeks. She cared for you, so much. You were like a sister to her, and she wouldn’t let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel like you weren’t worthy.

“There’s nothing between me and Natasha. I promise.” he said sincerely “I’m in love with you.”

“Then why didn’t you call or text me? Two weeks, Bucky. I hadn't heard from you in two weeks. You had me worried. We always call and text each other when we are on a mission”

“I told you, my phone broke. I told Nat to text you, I don’t know why she didn’t do it. I’m sorry”

You looked down. Bucky has never lied to you, and he has never given you a motive to mistrust him.

“What about the day you came? You ignored me the whole day”

“I was tired. All I wanted was to clean up and rest.”

“With Natasha?” you inquired

He looked at you confused, not knowing what you were talking about. “I went to your room that night, Natasha was there and you were shirtless”

He rubbed his face. “Oh, Y/N. That doesn’t mean what you think,” you looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself  “She just came to check up on me, I just came out of the shower, she didn’t even come in”

“You were laughing, though.”

“And you think that means I cheat on you? You always laugh with Steve and Sam. And I don’t think you are cheating on me with them. Why is Natasha any different?”

“Because-” you were ashamed of showing your insecurities to Bucky. “she had you first.” You couldn’t help to compare yourself to your friend, she was prettier, she was smart. She was everything you were not.

“And you have me now,” he cupped your face “And I want you forever.”

Bucky bent down and closed the gap between you. Finally feeling his lips in yours and- oh god. How have you missed the way he feels. He kissed you with so much gentleness like you were going to break any minute, but that wasn’t what you wanted right now; you needed to let him know that you were there, you wanted to feel every part of his body against yours and reassure yourself that he wasn’t going anywhere. You knotted your fists in his shirt, pulling him closer if that was even possible. He groaned, his hands firmly on your hips and lips agape. When you pulled away you smiled and touched his lips with your fingers. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, doll,” he said circling his arms around you making his way towards your bed until you hit the mattress, his body hovering over yours. “We have so much time to make up to.” 

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: hey shoutout to @ugherik for suggesting a spin on the “A PLATYPUS!??!“ [perry puts his hat on] “PERRY THE PLATYPUS!???” thing. i used it in here, it’s a really small part and probably missable but i tried!! also i like the next chapter better than this one, i just wanted to put this here so it doesn’t seem abrupt <3333

here’s

my ko-fi

if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Bucky can’t stop staring at the mirror.

He wishes it was for narcissistic purposes. He had enough reason for it to be. His age may be a hundred but he had the youthful exuberance of a very drained sixty year old.

But no, it wasn’t because of the steel cut jawline or thousand gigawatt smile.

After last week’s mini-spiral, he does what almost half the videos on TikTok warn him not to do.  

He got a haircut.

Everyone’s reaction stopped him from following it up with an ear piercing, but he can’t confidently say he didn’t at least consider it once. Maybe a neck tattoo. 

He pulls at a lock of hair. It’s not even longer than his finger.

What did he do-

“It’s just a haircut, man,” he says to no one in particular, almost like he’s trying to reassure himself.

He runs his hands through his hair. It takes lesser time than he was used to.

Steve had told him he looked good. But then again, Steve wore a fugly costume 90% of the time, what did he know?

Clint acknowledged it and didn’t outright call him ugly, which he supposed was a compliment. Wanda simply smiled at him.

“FRIDAY?” he reaches out.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” comes the automated reply.

“How are you?” It took him some getting used to her, given that she was constantly listening to everything, and in general seemed to go against the universal idea of privacy. 

But his therapist told him he needed to form friendships. 

She didn’t mention it had to be human ones.

“As good as ever. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He wants to ask her what she thinks of his hair until he realises fashion advice from a faceless AI is a new low for him. Maybe ‘Do you think I should crawl into a pit and die?’ would be more appropriate. 

“Never mind,” he dismisses instead. “Any messages for today?”

“A reminder to buy a harder bed because you can’t keep sleeping on the floor.” Ah, that was on Sam’s recommendation three months ago, but he wasn’t going to stop any time soon. “And a text from a contact named Nuisance saying to meet them at the attached location in thirty minutes.”

“Where is the location?”

“The local sports centre.”

“Isn’t that closed today?” 

If he had to go out in public looking like this, maybe he could wear a cap and sunglasses and no one would recognise him. Unfortunately, as he was reminded several times before by anyone with an iota of common sense, it was a stupid disguise. 

Beanie it was, then. Bare minimum. 

“It is, yes.” Fewer citizens to worry about.

“Okay.” He hesitates in front of the mirror again, adjusting the hat on his head. “Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

He stares at the little tuft of hair at the front that refused to stay down no matter how much he shoved it back.

“Come on, man,” he exhales in slight despair. “Whatever.”

____

The lock of the door leading to the pool is easy enough to pick. He can see how you got in without a hitch even though it was closed. 

The deck around the pool was absolutely drenched in water. No one was using it, there was no reason for water to splash out unless it was deliberately kept like this.

He catches sight of you easily, being that you’re the only two people there. You were standing at the end of the hall, head ducked as you scrolled through your phone.

The door closes behind him with a soft thud.

You don’t look up from your mobile when you start talking, “What do you think 6 year olds like?”

Because James Barnes, carbon dated to 1917 and therefore certified young person, would definitely know the answer to this question.

“I don’t know. Lego?”

“Just how much money do you think a teacher makes-”

You stopped mid-sentence, finally lifting your head to catch his eye. He stares back at you, steps faltering when you don’t move.

"Who are you?" you squinted.

What

"It's me," Bucky says, tugging off the dumb beanie and using it to gesture vaguely towards himself. Fuck, he shouldn’t have worn it, it was ridiculous anyway-

"You sound like him..." You narrow your eyes. “You don't look like him.”

Great

He rolls his eyes before putting on a mock scowl. Can't have Bucky Barnes without a sense of eternal disgruntlement.

"Oh hey, that is you." You grin. "You got a haircut."

“I did.” He suddenly feels the awkwardness increase. His fingers fidget with the beanie.

“Nice.” You nod in acknowledgement.

He wants to hit himself at the words that just spill out before he could think about it. “You hate it.”

“I never said that,” you snort. “And since when does my opinion matter?”

“It doesn’t.” But now he wants to know what you think since he didn’t trust anyone else to tell him honestly.

“Must cut down on time in the shower, huh?”

It did.

He shrugs. He shoves the beanie into his back pocket.

“Was it a crisis haircut?” How did you kno- “Are you going to get bangs next time?”

“Shut up,” he says lamely, a dull burn in his cheeks. 

“I know a place where you can get hair dye for cheap. Not technically FDA approved, but I think purple streaks are a good place to start-”

“What are we doing here?” he interrupts, sighing.

“Skinny dipping. Take off your shirt, Barnes.” 

“Funny,” he says dryly, eyeing your shoes when you straighten up.

Ice skates.

“Fine, pants then.” You don’t make any effort to move from your end so he does, walking closer to you. 

“What are those for?” He doesn’t hide the annoyance from his voice when he points at your feet.

“Oh, these?” You look down at them. “Yeah, I’m going to freeze the pool.”

That seems... mild compared to the shit show you wanted to do last time.

“For?” He halts where he is. 

“’M gonna take my friends ice skating.”

“Is that all?” He wants to make a comment about the fact that you have friends but bites it back.

“Today is just a trial run. Tomorrow I’m gonna go freeze the East River.” There it is.

“The East River is not your personal ice skating rink.”

“Not yet it isn’t.” You lift up a middle finger.

It was too early for you to flip him off, even by your standards.

He raises an eyebrow.

Your face scrunches in confusion. You follow his gaze to your finger. “Oh yeah, no, that’s a freeze ring.”

Only then he notices a ring around the finger. From where he was standing he could make out the blue stone that adorned it.

“Joy.” He rolls up the sleeves of his black bomber jacket. “Let’s get this done with, then.”

“No no, wait.” You hold up your hand and he complies, having nothing to lose anyway. You pull out your phone and press a few buttons before shoving it back into your bag and tossing it aside.

The soft sounds of a piano start playing from a boombox near the corner of the room. A child starts singing following a series of knocks.

His eyebrows furrow. “What the fuck is this?”

“The Frozen soundtrack.” You beam at him. “I thought it was fitting.”

He doesn’t know what that is and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask. He can vaguely make out the lyrics being about a snowman but he isn’t too concerned.

He takes one step forward. You immediately point your fist at the ground in front of him, forcing him to jump back when a blast hits right in front of his shoes. Suddenly he gets why the floor is covered in water.

It sounds like a series of cracks as the water starts freezing over, a layer of ice now separating him and you.  

"You ready?” The mischief was woven in your voice as the blasts continued throughout the deck, effectively turning the entire floor into ice.

Bucky takes a step tentatively forward. Not bad. He takes another. Okay.

The third one is when shit starts to hit the fan. His hands shoot out to hold onto his balance when his footing slips from beneath him.

His Nike sneakers aren’t used to snow. They’re used to well manicured lawns and pavement trips to Starbucks and marble floors of the compound. Not swimming pool decks covered in ice.

He can hear you singing in the distance and every time he looks up you’re a little further away, making sure every inch of space is frozen.

It takes him a while to get over the initial fear of breaking his skull and just move forward swiftly with short steps. A goddamn penguin is what he looked like.

“There you go, you’re getting it,” you chirp as you whiz past him. He reaches out to grab at you, only to miss by an inch. He staggers, arms flapping wildly to regain his stability.

He hears crackling beside him. He gets a second or two to watch ice crystals spread through the water before turning it completely solid. You step onto the now frozen pool, testing your weight with one leg before cautiously getting on.

A triumphant smile emerges on your face. “Awesome.”

He manages to press himself against the wall as a form of support. 

There is no point to this whole thing. He knows this. It’s been well over 6 weeks and there is genuinely no point to this.

He realises it again when he moves from side to side, body erupting into a waddle. 

Why is he doing this. He doesn’t get paid extra. He doesn’t get any kind of compensation. All he gets is more wisecracking geniuses, embarrassment and the mortifying ordeal of getting caught imitating a penguin.

The song changes to a woman singing about doing something for the first time, forcing him to pay attention to it. He hears something about ball room and balls and tunes right back out.

Bucky manages to find his way to the actual pool since that’s where you’re twirling around, opting to land on his mental arm in case things go wrong. He takes a sliding step forward, followed by another. Maybe he can do this. 

“If a 200 pound super soldier can stand on this, I suppose it’s strong enough,” you muse, watching him slip and slide as he tries to invent makeshift ice skating.

Unfortunately, his method doesn’t have any brakes, so while he’s too busy trying to move forward, there’s no way to actually stop. He finds this out very soon when he almost launches himself off the edge of the pool.

Something yanks him backwards and back onto the ice.  

“Honestly, this is utterly useless since you can’t really do anything but it’s the most fun I’ve had all week,” you admit when he goes sliding towards the middle, arms flailing.

“You had to pick fuckin’ ice of all things.” He thinks that maybe he’s getting a hang of this. He can definitely move faster than what he was doing like, 10 minutes ago. It’s not like you were going anywhere, anyway. 

“I like to keep things spicy.”

He stays where he is to glare at you. You mouth the words to the song, watching his every move whenever it interested you. 

Okay, change of plan; a temporary distraction till he figures out how to actually get the ring from you. He settles on skating towards the edge of the rink slowly, taking a step off, slipping almost immediately when his foot comes in contact with the deck. 

“Where are you going?” you yell over the music initially but immediately break into song when it ends in a crescendo.

He takes a knee, lifting his metal arm up before driving it into the ground. It shatters magnificently, leaving small shards of ice at his disposal. 

He picks up one of them, waiting for you to complete your dumb twirl. He takes aim, and-

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You stop your off key singing to rub your shoulder where the ice hit you.

He wordlessly picks up another piece to throw at you, hitting you squarely in the leg.

“Stop that!”

He may not be able to move as fast but he can definitely throw. 

“Give me the ring,” he commands, stretching his arm behind his back before releasing another piece to hit your forearm. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” There’s nowhere you can skate to avoid his stupidly good marksmanship. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” He shrugs, breaking another patch of ice to replenish his ammo. “Hand over the ring.”

“Over my dead body,” you shriek when a particularly big piece lands next to your feet. You knew he missed that shot on purpose.

“I feel like I’m finally acting my age,” he says casually, finding your darting about in order to avoid him more fun than he initially thought. “Can’t throw pebbles at meddling kids so this is the next best option. Thanks.” 

“If you acted your age you’d be in a casket, Barnes,” you hissed, finding that skating in zig zags helped your cause, but not by much. “I’d be- you bitch- I’d be more than happy to help you get there.”

You raise your arm, ready to send another blast to freeze the water that was starting to melt around him, hopefully, keep him where he was if it froze around him. 

He flinches. You notice immediately, hand dropping slightly when you realise what it looked like.

“I’m not gonna freeze you,” you say, softer than you intended. From what you knew, he had enough and more experience with that and you weren’t going to contribute to it. 

He swallows thickly, giving himself a little shake of his head as if to jolt him out of his train of thought. 

Another piece of ice hits you in the leg. You let out a string of curses at him.

“The more ice you make, the more I have to throw at you, Y/N.” He waits for you to regain your balance when you nearly take a stumble. 

“Shut up, you’re so immature.”

“Remind me whose plan this was again?” No point waiting for you to regain your balance when you fall over only a few seconds later. 

He gathers a few shards in his beanie, tucking it into his belt like a little makeshift rucksack just in case before venturing out on the main rink again. 

It’s more difficult for you to stand without railings to guide you, giving him enough and more time to make his way towards you, staggering and skidding. 

Both of you looked ridiculous. 

“Stay away, fiend.” 

“Ring first.” He holds his hand out in front of you. He even considered pulling you up if you just made things easier.

Next thing he knows he’s on his ass on the ice beside you. 

“I hate you,” he groans, watching as you inch away from him on your knees.

He doesn’t really have any other options so he shoves aside the humiliation and gets on his knees, using his arms to drag him along the ice.

“For the love of Christ, none of us are winning here. Just give me the ring.”

The bitch from the soundtrack sings about letting it go but he won’t. 

“Never,” you shout, sliding away from him as fast as possible. 

You make use of the fact that the top layer of ice is starting to melt, using the ring to freeze it again. His knees and fingers get stuck as the water freezes over but he has super strength. It barely takes him a second to free himself. 

“Great,” he huffs, just settling down on the ice, ignoring the sting of cold that was spreading through his limbs. Running after you wasn’t going to work; he needed a way to get the ring. 

“You won last time, I’m not letting you win again.”

“Are we seriously keeping score?” He watches as you scramble towards the edge.

“No one likes a loser, Bucky.” You use the pool stair railings to pull yourself up.

“Explain why you have friends then.” He can’t help himself this time. 

“Hardy har har.” You roll your eyes. 

He doesn’t make an effort to move. Instead, when you take a step back into the rink, he raises his arm and pummels it into the ice, just to annoy you. 

The ground damn near shakes, pushing you dangerously towards losing your balance again. 

“Are you crazy?” Your arm shoots out in front of you to keep you from falling headfirst. 

“No.” He does it again. This time there’s a crack in the ice. “I’m just very tired.”

“If the ice breaks we’re both gonna be underwater, you moron!”

“Fine by me.” He shrugs. “Freeze it again. I’ll just find different ways to ruin it for you.”

You glare at him. He raises his arm above his head again.

“Fine! Fine, stop.” You eye him as he lowers his arm. 

He reaches for his stash of ice pieces from earlier, throwing one at your shoulder again.

“Boy, I swear if you don’t stop doing that-” you duck when another one comes at you. You had no idea he could be this annoying. 

It suddenly hits him, like a lightbulb going off in his brain. He wipes his hands off on his jacket, getting on all fours before slowly managing to pick himself up again. 

He looks at you, tilting his head slightly like he was studying you.

“What?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing as he starts inching closer towards you. “What are you thinking?”

It’s like watching a newborn deer stumble its way through the world, albeit more gracefully, until he starts picking up speed. The motherfucker was going to mow you down.

The skates are useful but not so much when an extremely determined bumbling oaf is barrelling towards you, his speed beginning to match yours even without equipment. 

You don’t know why you’re running, you don’t know why he’s chasing after you but when you see the end of the pool you take a sharp left only to have him knock right into you, sending you both sprawling.

You land half on top of him, breaking your fall but it doesn’t stop the very loud groan that escapes your mouth. He’s already in the process of sitting up straight, giving you less time to analyse what just happened.

“What the fuck was that for?” you speak through gritted teeth. “Fuckin’ acting like the both of us have free healthcare.”

“You refused to give up.”

“So your plan was to tackle me like a quarterback?” You threw your hands up.  

“One part of it.” He drags himself to the edge, away from you. 

“There's more to your monkey brained plan?” He doesn’t look at you. The ice around the pool has more or less melted, letting him gain proper footing on the floor before he stands up. 

“Oh, yeah.” He turns to you. “The other’s a trick I stole from Stark.”

Bucky holds up the ring. Your jaw slightly drops, eyes searching your finger for the now missing piece of tech. 

“Suppose that’s two points for me?” 

You’re impressed. You also want to stab him. So you do the next best thing.

“When I imagined you holding a ring in front of me, the circumstances were very different,” you comment.

“Bye, Y/N.” He spins on his heel, not even giving you a second’s worth of reaction. You found it amusing.

He heads towards the door, clothes all wet. He empties out melted ice water from his beanie before stuffing it into his pocket. Just when he’s about to leave, you remember something. 

Do you mean it genuinely or just because it has an effect on him? 

“Just for the record, Barnes, about your hair-” you call out, earning his attention from over his shoulder. “I think you look really good either way.”

The world may never know. 

You swear you can see the corners of his lips quirk upwards before he turns around again. 

He slips on a block of ice, cursing and clenching on to the door to keep him upright, quickly yanking it open and leaving before he has a chance to embarrass himself further.

Smooth.

Next part

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[iwantescapism13]

'The Core and The King' - Dark Marcy finally appears and we get to see King Andrias' past.

Fucking. YES.

After several episodes of being missing, Dark Marcy has finally appeared with more lines than just a freaking sentence and they were quite... dorky. I didn’t expect that at all. It made me feel like I shouldn’t be scared of such a villain. 

However... the indications that Marcy is trapped somewhere else while The Core plays around? Damn. That’s so evil. On top of that, they are very, VERY sarcastic. It’s what’s “charming” about them, I’d say. 

I’m excited to see how Amphibia will tackle Dark Marcy’s characterization moving forward.

For now, my comments [in which I bully King Andrias most of the time, so go and have a read if you hate him too]:

Oh no! They teared Marcy’s phone apart! Shit! Some of her memories are in there!

They really love the word ‘pathetic’, huh? Also, does this mean that they didn’t find anything useful in the phone? If that’s the case... then Marcy’s phone probably contains stuff about Anne and Sasha! Oh no!

King Andrias asking the most important question of all.

How dare you ask if Marcy’s in there, you pompous a**hole. But fine. It’s for the viewers’ sake.

What the hell did you all do to Marcy?! WHERE IS SHE?! Is she in pain?! Is she miserable?! Is she in a forever loop of good memories with Anne and Sasha?! DAMN IT ALL!

So, a few things to take note with this: 1) Dark Marcy talking using teenager lingo is seriously unsettling [considering WHO are inside The Core]; 2) Marcy has a sweet tooth [the only other food that we know she loves is mint-chocolate ice cream]; and 3) “UBE”??! Is... Is Marcy... Filipino? But... But if she was, wouldn’t Matt Braly have stated it in that interview where he revealed Sasha’s and Marcy’s ethnicities or whatsoever? She’s just confirmed to be Taiwanese. But... if it turns out that she’s half-Filipino as well, oh my god... I’ll be so damn happy. Side note: makes me want to try Red Velvet + Ube frosting now.

Oh gosh. Dark Marcy is clumsy. Is it possible that the final battle will be comedic? We shall see...

“Redundant memories”, eh? I trust that Dark Marcy is smart enough to retain Marcy’s memories of Anne and Sasha so they could use it to blackmail or manipulate the Resistance in a certain way. However, it could work the other way around too because then she’ll be easily controllable. They didn’t need to take over. They can just tell her what to do and she’ll do it on her own accord. She’ll be their puppet. But then... they’ve been wanting a body so... hmm... I wonder what they’re planning...

Geez... Dark Marcy just keeps bullying King Andrias to no end, huh? Well... serves that motherfucker right.

~Welcome to Amphibia~ ~Have a look around~ ~In here conquering worlds is apparently normal to be found~ ~We got mountains of adverts~ ~Some bad and some worse~ ~If none of it’s an interest to you~ ~You will be killed~

So I saw people mention that the original trio are just children in this flashback. And I questioned that, if that’s the case, why would Barrel be assigned to be a guard here. Then I remembered that Grime told Sprig that toads were trained since they were young. Huh... good continuity there.

This stupid salamander had the audacity to interrupt Barrel’s job, but when Leif and Barrel later plays around with the music box, he tells them to give it back like a sissy child. He’s such a pathetic dude, I cannot even.

Barrel is the hero we need and deserve right now. 

Including the current one, King Andrias had done the same thing and lost 26 fucking times. Haha. What a loser.

Leif’s note to King Andrias.

Sooooooooo... we all know what kind of dance she’s talking about here, right? Or is it just me?

Blush of embarrassment from King Andrias and a really high Barrel. I love Barrel. He’s fun.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god, Barrel is such a funny toad. He’s my favorite amphibian now.

PFFFFFFFFFT! “’Drias”?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So lame.

Look at this pompous idiot’s face. So he had always been an arrogant one. And apparently, “invasion” is a positive word around Amphibia back then that Leif and Barrel CLAPPED THEIR HANDS AS CONGRATULATIONS. Wow... times were so different.

Geez... King Andrias was such a massive simp.

Former King Aldrich sounds a bit like Belos. *proceeds to check whether this is true* Okay, he isn’t voiced by the same voice actor but holy shit! He voiced some characters in Dark Souls and Bloodborne! God damn!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I cannot. It’s such a lame nickname. XD

SO THE FANS WERE RIGHT! FORMER KING ALDRICH IS THE ONE WHO SAID THIS LINE! But... not gonna lie, it was kinda disappointing that this wasn’t directed to Marcy.

Yeah... friends do be like that once someone in the friend group attains a high position.

Former King Aldrich speaking THE TRUTH.

There it is. Greatest minds + Leviathan ancestry. I’d say they’re very smart. With their consciousness transferred to a robot, they can technically be considered immortal. I’m curious as to HOW they managed to do that, though. You got to admit, that’s very impressive.

“Savages”? Damn, sir. You talk as if you’ve been there. Also, what kind of resources would you even need? You said it yourself: Earth is medieval. There’s nothing that the world can offer that you don’t already have. Amphibia is, like, centuries ahead in its advancement of technology. 

If you think this line makes this pompous idiot redeemable, well you’re dead wrong. He’s gonna fucking change his goddamn mind later on in the episode. I wasn’t fooled by his words.

But why the hell do you need to invade other worlds to survive? That doesn’t make any sense! Look at Amphibia! All the amphibians are doing fine, you salamanders are in charge of everything, and let’s not forget about all of the technological advancements. What more do you guys need? MORE robots? Why? Is it not enough? Is Amphibia still not prosperous enough for you? Most importantly, ARE YOU BORED OR SOMETHING??

GASP! It’s in one of my predictions that Leif will steal the music box as a joke! Oh my god, I can’t believe it came true! Holy shit!

This is the only time I ever felt that bullying is well-deserved. Go Leif! Go Barrel!

So... all 3 of the gems can be pressed, eh? I’d say this is just convenience at this point. It makes me wonder what will happen now if any of the Calamity Trio press all gems together. Will they see what’s gonna happen in the future too?

Let me just say that the background music during this vision scene was fucking scary as shit. 

Probably an unpopular opinion but: Leif is such a hypocrite in this scene. She was totally okay with the invasion of another world - which would probably mean the total annihilation of a species - but as soon as she knew that it’d affect Amphibia, suddenly she gets all teary-eyed and realizes that what they’re doing is wrong. 

No, Leif. You only knew it because you saw the vision. 

Geez, lady! Haven’t Amphibia had enough resources?! Jesus!

This just means that Former King Aldrich KNEW about the vision and refuses to act on it because The Core told him not to.

“Sacred birthright”? Sure, it was created in Amphibian soil and whatever, but that doesn’t make YOU the right one to use the gems to conquer worlds - or conquer ANY THING for that matter. Who even told you that?

I’m actually surprised that King Andrias even gave Leif a chance to present her case. This doesn’t add to his redemption whatsoever, though.

Former King Aldrich have a point, you know. Despite being an aloof father, he doesn’t seem half bad in trying to sound like he’s encouraging his son. This may be borderline manipulation, but he has given King Andrias chances to prove himself. He never thinks of him as anything less. I don’t know...

Again, WHY? Is it because of the finite resources? And once the CloakBots are out of commission, does that mean that Amphibia is doomed? But again, WHY? They were robot-less for 1,000 years after the incident with Leif and the music box and Amphibia seems totally fine. So what’s getting these creatures so bananas?

You are NEVER gonna get redeemed in my eyes, King Andrias. Never.

He treasures his friends, that’s what I’m sure of. He was just blinded with the idea of proving himself to his father and not disappointing his ancestors. WELL. That still doesn’t make him redeemable because HE HAD ONE THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE BUT NO. HE CHOSE VIOLENCE. HE CHOSE TO STAB MARCY. How is this pompous a**hole redeemable? Dark Marcy is right. He’s pathetic.

To be completely fair, it’s a bullshit move to betray her friends like that. She was all in favor of invading other worlds and just because something weird happened, suddenly turned 180 and run off with the music box? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Barrel, what exactly do you plan to do here? Knock her unconscious? Okay, actually that’ll work.

Reason #1354657 on why King Andrias will never be redeemed in my books: he had the intention of killing Leif after she stole the Calamity Box.

So... something interesting about this is that it was shown in a vase in ‘Fight At The Museum’ that Leif went to Earth and showed humans the Calamity Box. Does this mean that the olms told her to go there and find the destined 3 stars that will save Amphibia? So... does this mean that she died on Earth? Can amphibians last until over a thousand years too or does that only apply to salamanders? Because if so, is it possible that she’s still alive somewhere?

Two things: 1) WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON, FORMER KING ALDRICH?! Amphibia is doing perfectly fine! and 2) You see, Former King Aldrich didn’t even do anything to punish King Andrias when he clearly messed up. He’s a fine father. He’s just... manipulative.

The fact that it has been 1,000 years since then, these salamanders sure are patient as fuck.

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE LOOK AT MARCY WITH THOSE EYES! YOU. FUCKING. STABBED. HER! YOU DECIDED TO DO THAT! DON’T YOU DARE START HESITATING NOW, YOU FUCKING COWARD!

----

Ahem. Okay. Anyway.

What a very good half-episode! I absolutely love Barrel, he’s such an adorable and loyal toad. Now, I feel sad that he’s already dead. He would’ve been a great addition to the main cast. I love Dark Marcy as well, the sarcasm and all those times they bullied King Andrias that made him look so small and... well... lack of a better word, pathetic. 

As you can see, I hate King Andrias and will continue to hate him because he never gave me the impression that he’s redeemable. He may be a misguided kid, but he should be smart enough to think about Leif’s decision and everything else that happened over and over and over for one thousand years. But no, he’s bent on “taking revenge” on his friends. And now, he just seems so fucking salty that he failed before he even began to prove himself to his father and to everyone.

And Leif... I... couldn’t say I like her. I can’t deny that she did a really good job in being loyal to her own morals and beliefs, but... she agreed to the invasion earlier without any thoughts of how it’ll affect the other party until she saw the vision. It felt very hypocritical of her. So... yup.

And since we didn’t have any opening and ending themes for this episode, I’m anticipating a new one next week. Well... honestly, the ending theme can stay. It’s a very nice animation done by hardworking people. But the opening theme... the characters are now in Amphibia and it’s the final set of episodes. They should have an updated one already.

Anyway, I give this episode a 10/10. Perfect... because of my boy, Barrel. XD

[muffindaddystyles]

prompt 1 with older brothers best friends!harry 👀

1. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

8. “I said stop staring at me.”

23. “I have a name and it’s not sweetheart.”

Third wheeling could never be fun. Not when you’re basically not even a wheel but an invisible person on a vacation watching couples kiss and yada yada.

“For fuck's sake.” Y/N grumbles changing a side snatching the blanket that got stuck under her and sandwiches her face into a pillow when she hears the steel roof atop her creak furiously accompanied by high pitched obnoxious moans.

Y/N's brother brought her along to their Italy trip, his wife’s bestfriend and his own bestfriend tagged along too leaving only Y/N to grump about their wild sex rendezvous.

She’s sleepless, homesick and probably about to get a stomach bug for living in yacht for four days atleast!

What’s so fun about jiggling in your sleep? None perhaps and the waves crashing at night that threatens you to swallow you down to the pit of ocean --- my pal, nothing is entertaining about it. Atleast for Y/N. She’s more of a hill station going person with her pup Frankenstein that oogles out from his small globe like window, comfy in his lil bag that Y/N moves around on her shoulders everywhere.

When the fracas of whatever’s taking place up doesn’t comes to halt, Y/N had enough, she isn’t very versed in coping with such situations since her dorm-mate is very nice.

So, she’s throwing the lid away to pop her head through the square like space and spreads her elbows up the roof, “Aish.” She immediately covers her eyes upon the sight of his brother and his wife doing it.

Their expressions comically panicked as they embarrassingly scrambles to clutch the flimsy sheets over them.

“Who does it all naked under an open sky?” She squeaks out, feeling her pulse tick and she peeks out towards the darkness from the slight gap of her fingers which are barely helping her avoid the scene that’d haunt her for life.

“Them bunnies and monkeys, ‘n many of our kind, Sweetheart.” She rolls her eyes at the familiarity of deep slow rumble that’s a bit slurred, probably from the Tequila they took with them. The voice never fails to froth bubbles in Y/N's tummy and it always involuntarily makes her nails dig into her palms.

Harry and Tina’s bestfriend went out to roam around Italy, or they told so and Albeit Y/N very well knows their intentions were more to exploring the city she didn’t butt in.

“I’ve a name and it’s not, Sweetheart.” She dismisses him with a grumble and his smirk shines through the shadow aggravating Y/N to an extreme she slips down shutting the door (like lid) at the them.

Harry Styles. Y/N's brother’s bestfriend. He’s everything Y/N loathes about. Bright green eyes, silken features and that dopey pearlish smile that makes everyone fall in love with him in nano-seconds.

To Y/N. He is an incubus. A witch that allures people without even knowing.

He’s a narcissistic asshole and Y/N's bad boy dream, unfortunately.

She hates herself for having a puppy crush on him for years now.

That friggin, Asshole.

He’s with everyone but her. It seems as if he’s getting stung by bees upon the mere closeness between them. A lamb ready to bite her down his stomach if she steps a foot near him.

At the moment when she’s sitting with her knees pressed to her chest, swollen eyes and puffy lips from not getting sleep last night.

She’s really hating that Harry looks so hot from the swim he just took as he dries himself sitting opposite to her. The droplets twinkling on his tanned thick body, his trunks wrinkled and bunched up into his thighs baring the tiger tattoo on front, his hair wet and oh so fucking tug-able – Y/N feels like Rachel from friends thinking all of that.

“Stop staring,” She mutters out loud when he wouldn’t stop licking the saltiness from his pink bottom lip keeping his intense gaze on her.

“What did y'say?” He pretends that we too engulfed in something else.

“I said stop staring at me.” Y/N grits. It’s annoying because it’s making her belly feel funny and loopy.

“The hills behind y'are just s'admirable.” He elevates his shoulders a bit panicked from inside and Y/N forced herself to not to twitch her eye when his chest muscles flexes due to his action.

Bamboozled she takes a glance from her shoulder to where he diverted his sight once she caught him. Her nose scrunched up and chin butted in disgust at the scenery, “That’s literally a heap of dead fishes!”

“Better than starin’ into a dead soul.” His lips down turned into a careless grimace and Y/N gasps out loud pushing the strands of her hair sticking to all of her face because of the breeze gush, “Why would you say that!?”

“’Cos you’re so mauve, that’s why?” He just wants to take a piss out of her. Nobody’s around and he’s finally getting time to talk to her even if it just to sit cross legged on her nerves and sip tea.

He’s actually lying. He thinks she’s more than mauve. She’s all those colours that usually macarons have, all those hues that butterflies wings have and all those tinctures that one find in gems then keep them safe.

She’s the colour he misses in his life.

“And you’re so fucking blue!” She grumbles and that slithered a deep wicked smile on Harry’s lips, “Like this deep ocean yer afraid of?” Her eyes widens at that and she almost lunges on her knees.

How did he know? Ofcourse, he'd. He’s everywhere. In every damn picture of wherever they went for recreation.

“I’m not.” She scoffs, her tone inconvenient and hazy as she shrinks into herself.

“Then take a dip,” She wishes that she could wipe that beautiful stupid smirk off his gorgeous stupidly lame face.

“Kiss my ass.” She spat out throwing a cushion towards him that lands on his lap, “I’d love to.” He barks out a laugh that rings through the waves.

“You’re such a stinky asshole.” She hits him with another that dumps against his chest, “Ow!” He feigns hurt with ridiculous comical expressions and throws the cushion back towards her which she successfully dodges, but, it falls behind her into the water.

“Shit.” She complains ducking around the edge of the yacht and stretches her arm to the plausible extent to grab the floating cushion.

Though when the tips of her toes leaves the seat she was on and she’s bending too much for her own sake Harry’s standing upright, “Hey stop —-" But. It’s too late as with a high pitched squeaky shriek Y/N's rolling first and falling into the water leaving Harry frozen for a second.

Panic chokes her throat and she moves her limbs around everywhere splashing water vigorously. Mouth gasping for oxygen but all that comes is salty water filling her mouth and lungs too, maybe as she sinks deeper and deeper.

“Fuck, Y/N!!” He shouts out jumping to save her immediately knowing she doesn’t know how to swim and he’s wrapping his palm around her neck and pulling her from her waist to himself under the water as she watches him with frightened fading eyes.

He comes back to surface quickly and presses her to his chest. She too clings to him for dear life feeling herself drift into a state of unconsciousness and hard to breath while he grabs the deck and lifts her with himself to it.

He doesn’t risk a chance and lays her limp body down and clasps his hands together pushing them against where her heat beats feebly, winces when she spurts out water painfully.

“Baby...fuck.” He pats her soaked pale cheek anxiously when she still remains unresponsive to him, breathing wearily so he does what has to be done.

He grabbed her chin, squished her cheeks making her lips pucker out and wrapped his mouth around hers sucking the water out and spat it out once his mouth was full.

His eyes slip shuts and he slumps with relief when Y/N coughs out loudly into his chest and he brings her into him murmuring assurance into her wet hair.

“You’re okay darling,” His whisper wavers from the trembling of his lips and his fingers divots into her softest of skin when he hugs her tightly, “’M sorry ‘s me fault, Sweets.” He rubs the bridge of his nose to take the sniff of her scent to calm him down and she shakes her head unable to talk, hands bunched up against his tummy.

“You should rest, yeah?” His gaze soft with care and it’s baffling for Y/N that he ever had this side too. Before, she could be on her feet he slipped his strong arms under her and hoists her up and into him without any trouble.

If Y/N wouldn’t be feeling very droopy and breathless she sure would have fought with him, maybe blushed and hid her face into his neck but she’s already knocking out in his arms from the stingy feeling in her eyes that made her super duper sleepy.

..

Clouds. Y/N's merged into them and they cover every inch of Y/N, wait where am I? She feels real nice comforted around with such warm bedding and she sure knows it’s not hers. The blurry sight infront of her is enough to aware her and a perfectly calloused hand comes rubbing her shoulder when she tries to sit up.

“Not heaven, o'summat.” He chuckles airily. His smile small and a tad awkward, he’s changed into another pair of trunks that are yellow and his upper half now sadly is covered from a blue tee.

“How you feelin'?” Y/N let his question fly over her head and stutters out loudly, “Why you being s'nice to me now?” It etches a frown on his face but soon it vanishes into an expression that Y/N couldn’t pick point.

“You’ve always been such a meanie...” She murmurs glumly. White sheets tangling around her torso as she moves infront of him – their knees touching.

“I umm –-...like you, I guess?” He has never been this nervous and jumblish with words.

“You guess?” She asks and scared that he missed up he rushes out to hold her and to make her believe that his feelings are true.

“No, no! I’m sure. I like you very much.” That puts Y/N into silence where she stares the gleaming jewels onto his fingers and ponders over what he said.

Harry Styles. Her first kiss. Her very first candy love crush and her dream of bad boy actually likes her back.

She tries to ignore the party poppers going inside her body and the drums of happiness rolling around her heart.

“But ... Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy,” She doesn’t meet his eyes smoothing out the crinkles of sheets and her palm halts immediately when Harry hooks his thumb under her chin and raises it gaze lovingly into her eyes with sincerity, “Just ‘cos I stole yer first kiss?”

He laughs out sweetly when she bobs her head vigorously, “C’mon we were just sixteen! I’d have made sure to tell y'to keep it safe fo’ your precious person if I knew back then.” His pupils gleaming with hope and a tinge of eagerness.

The next thing she said with a slight bubbly pout caught Harry off-guard and in awe that how to process what she said with so much liability and vulnerability.

“But you’re my precious person!!”

“Yeah, baby?” He grins with a dimple tutting in and grabs her small cold hands to pull her closer to him.

The sweet name shies Y/N away and Harry thinks she couldn’t be more endearing as he takes her soft looking puffy face in the warm embrace of his hands and bops their noses together.

“Then g’na make sure ‘m your last.” He murmurs feathering his lips to the corner of her mouth that flutters her eyelids like butterflies and she pants out for more with a sweet whine, “Shit. You’re still very candy like since I last kissed ye'.” He giggles stroking his thumb up her cheek and takes a lick of her jutted bottom lip.

“Harry....” She complains tugging his weary shirt, “Yes me baby?” He quips out with those fake surprised eyes he makes with raised brows and puppy gaze.

“Kiss me alre –—,” He's swallowing her words down with the tender smush of his lips against hers in a kiss that’s slow and comforting at first, hearing onto the noises that she creates from tasting him and it deepens into something ardent and red when Harry pulls her over his thighs and guides her arms around his neck.

Their foreheads comes touching. Their hearts in sync and beside eachother. Their tongues loving on eachother.

“Dunno if I could ever stop.” He whispers breaking the knot of spit that connects their mouths with the stroke of his thumb against her shinning lip and pecks that spot twice.

“Then don’t.” Y/N looses her brain cells and only butterflies to whoosh into her skull as she grabs his jaw never letting him go and kisses him harder and rougher this time.

She’s gonna be in oh so much love with this bad boy that’s such a softie for her and she knows that there’s no going back.

[smells-like-mettaton]

Rating: G

Word Count: 1280

Summary: After a year as queen, Alphys no longer expects a reset.  With her newfound confidence and with Sans by her side, would it be awful to admit she doesn't want to go back? (Salphys fic for @con-cognito!)

XXX

Sans and Alphys shared a queen-sized bed.

It was a joke, a gift that he’d gotten her a few months after she was flung into this position.  She hadn’t been a queen then, not really.  She was just… there.

Sometimes, just being there was enough.  Sans had taught her that.

Now, over a year later, Sans was here. In her bed.  Tangled in her pink bedsheets, his bare ribcage rising and falling with ironic snores.

Normally the noise was enough to put her straight to sleep.  Tonight, though, old worries found new footholds in her head.

How long was this going to last?  In the first days of her reign, the thought of the human resetting the timeline was all that kept her going.  Then as the days turned into weeks turned into months, she decided they weren’t that benevolent.  They’d wanted this.  Sans had watched them murder without hesitation or mercy.

But now that she was finally getting used to this life… well, it wouldn’t surprise her if the human decided to take it all away.

“Alph,” Sans grunted.  His bony hand flopped onto her face.  “Shhhh. You’re thinkin’ too loud.”

She snorted.  “You read minds now?  What are you, an anime character?”

“Nah.” His eyesockets were still closed, but his permanent grin stretched wider. He looked blurry without her glasses on.  “You spark when you get in your head.”

“Huh?” She sat up slightly, then caught a jolt of static electricity jolting off of her pillow and down her nightgown.  “O-oh.  Oops.”

“Heh.  ‘S cute,” he mumbled, still smiling.

“Sh-shut up.”  She blushed. They’d been in a queerplatonic relationship for about a month now, but she’d always been easily flustered.

(He could be flustered too, she’d found out.  Physical displays of affection wouldn’t faze him, but a genuine compliment would have him hiding in his hood for an average of four minutes and thirty-seven seconds.)

“Make me,” he teased drowsily.  

He only said it ironically—she’d overused the trope in too many of her old fanfics.  It had become somewhat of an inside joke after he’d “accidentally” found her computer folder full of them.

(She couldn’t bare to read them anymore, not when over half of the characters were dead.  But for the same reason, she couldn’t bare to delete them.)

(Some nights she caught Sans up late reading the more tame ones about Papyrus and Mettaton.  In the shameless darkness of their room, he’d admitted that it was nice to pretend they were happy somewhere.)

“I’m gonna make you sleep on the couch,” she grumbled, but snuggled closer to him.  

His pointy elbow was jabbed in her side, and his skull was cold against her cheek.  She didn’t mind.  On nights like this, it was nice to feel someone so solid.  So real.

“C-ouch,” he echoed, emphasizing the pun.

She let out a loud snrk.  

“Just go back to sleep, Sans.”

He rolled towards her slightly, one eyesocket peeking open.

“You sure?” he asked. “I know I’m not the most useful guy around, but. Uh. If all that static’s keepin’ you awake…”

She winced.  He was always observant, even when he didn’t know what to do with what he knew.

“Just the usual. Resets. The human.”  Losing myself. Losing you. “Lame stuff.”

“Oh.”  He was clearly more awake now, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes for some reason.  “Yeah.  Guess that’s… still a possibility.”

“Did you stop thinking about it?” she asked, brow furrowed.  

He’d always seemed more caught up in the concept of alternate timelines than she had.  If he’d stopped worrying, maybe he could help her, too.

“...Nah.  I mean, I’m still not getting my hopes up… but I can see how it’d be nice.” He rolled onto his back.

“N-nice?”

She shouldn’t feel betrayed.  Alphys had lost most of her friends, but Sans had lost his family.  Of course he’d want to get that back, even if it meant losing… this.

It wasn’t like he was wrong.  She could see how it would be nice, too.  Asgore leaving her voicemails she wouldn’t answer.  Mettaton barging through her doors, recounting his latest episode that she’d already watched on TV.  Undyne calling her up just to talk about the nonexistent weather, or to watch anime, or to build giant swords.

But to go back… to lie again, to hide again, to pretend she was fine when she was just steps away from the abyss— 

She couldn’t live like that again. She couldn’t.

“Alph?”  Sans shook her gently, and her magic sparked along his carpals.  “Hey.  Talk to me.”

“S-sorry.”  She reined her magic back in.  “I’m just—being stupid.”

“There’s only one bonehead around here, and it’s not you.”  He rubbed a thumb soothingly over her arm as he spoke.  “I said something dumb, didn’t I?”

“N-no!  I just…” She sighed.  “You won’t judge me for being selfish, right?”

“Hardly fair for the pot to call the kettle black,” he said wryly.

“Ha ha.”

She wrapped her arms around herself and tried not to lean into his touch.  She didn’t deserve it.

“At least you don’t want things to stay like this,” she muttered.

His thumb stilled.  “...Huh?”

“You want the k-kid to reset.”  She dug her nails into her arms.  “I don’t.  I can’t.  I mean, according to our r-reports, I wouldn’t even remember, but!  If I did!  Or, or even if I don’t, and I just feel like, like I’m living it all over again, that whole time I h-hated myself…”

Tears were leaking from her eyes.  She’d long since given up being embarrassed around Sans over things like that.  Still, it made it even harder to see his expression. 

“Why do you think I want to go back?”

She blinked.

“B-because you just said you did?”

“Oh.”  He scratched the back of his spine.  “Huh.  Honestly, I just said that ‘cause I assumed you wanted a reset.”

“...Oh.”

Well now she felt dumb.

“I mean, yeah.  I wish less people were dead.”  He shrugged, shifting the sheets around them.  “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss Papyrus.  But he… he wouldn’t want me to stop living too.”

His eyelights were fixed on the ceiling.  She untangled her arms from around herself and squeezed his hand.

“I think he’d be really proud of you,” she said quietly.

“Yeah.”  He smiled.  “Heh, I can picture the look on his face if he found out I’m working for the Queen.  He’d be so jealous.”

“H-he wouldn’t have to be.  I’d make him a part of the Royal Guard.  A-and give him the fanciest, spikiest armor he could want.”

“He’d shine it every day.  You’d be able to see your reflection in it.”

“He and Undyne would cook spaghetti for us—”

“And we’d pretend we could stomach it.”  Sans grinned, fully facing her again now.

She smiled back, nuzzling her snout against his nasal ridge.

“It’s… not so bad to think about them,” she realized.  “Even if they’re not coming back… we still have their memories.”

She’d been wrong to try to throw that away.  Even if remembering hurt sometimes, it was better than chopping off her memories like a diseased limb.  Asgore, Mettaton, Undyne… they all deserved better than that.

“We do.  And, uh. We’ve got each other,” he added, his cheekbones glowing an ethereal blue.  “Right?”

“You’re such a n-nerd.”  She kissed the top of his nasal ridge.  “I couldn’t do this without you.  You know that.”

“Doesn’t hurt to be reminded.”  He smiled, his eyesockets drifting closed again.

Within seconds, he’d fallen asleep in her arms.

“Thank you, Sans,” she murmured.  “For reminding me, too.”

This time, his snores lulled her quickly to sleep.

[gumnut-logic]

Coffee and Guilt (Part 5, Bit 4)

Chapters 1 - 4 | Part 5 Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 | Bit 4

There has been much angsting and whining about this on my part. Mainly because I finished the fic today, the entire thing, but now don’t like the ending so have to rewrite it ::growls at it::

So I have to thank many wonderful people for putting up with my insecurities and trying to make heads or tails of what I wrote. So many hugs to @onereyofstarlight​ @the-original-sineater​ @janetm74​ and @scribbles97​ all who had a huge pile of words and a crazy Nutty thrown at them and whining in their ear.

You may need a tissue for this one?

-o-o-o-

Okay, more happened than I realised. Apparently being asleep or unconscious for most of this left me out of the loop on details.

Virgil, I’m sorry. There, I said it. I took your stuff and paid for it.

But I have to ask, what the hell, bro? Why do you need this stuff? Why didn’t you ask for help?

If that much can do this to me, what the hell is it doing to you? On a regular basis?

Also, waking up to find a big bro shivering in the bed beside me is not cool, okay. Last I remember, Scott was ripping you a new one and there you were, in the infirmary…what had I missed? What the hell was going on?

So not cool.

So, more of this stupid story.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep. That’s the thing in the infirmary. Time is weird. Could be morning, afternoon or the middle of the night.

We really need to put a clock in there.

I woke up dopey. Caffeine overdose sucks and I’m still feeling it even now. But then I was still off my face and not with it at all. Feels like I kinda burnt everything I had, you know?

So I open my eyes to a blurry shape across from me.

I focussed enough for my fried brain to realise it was Virgil. In bed, curled up and shivering like it was sub-arctic temperatures.

It wasn’t.

I’m experienced. I was half vegetable, but I have the knowledge enough to know sick when I see it.

And he was staring at me.

His eyes were bloodshot, exhausted and…emotional.

They kept tracking me as if they were worried I was going to disappear or something.

I opened my mouth to ask, but beyond Virgil another shape moved and I realised he wasn’t the only brother in the room with me.

Scott was snoring softly, sprawled out in a chair on the other side of Virgil’s bed. He looked horribly uncomfortable.

But what was worse was that his face was bruised and swollen and he had a cut on his forehead.

Okay, I didn’t have all the pieces here. Last I knew, Scott was tearing into Virgil and now I had a brother with obvious injuries and another in the infirmary.

What the hell had happened?

“Virgil?”

He didn’t answer me at first. His eyes were glistening in the dull lighting and honestly, he looked like he was going to cry.

And he was still shaking.

“I’m sorry, Allie.” His voice was parched, so far from the rich baritone he usually spoke with, I was sitting up before I could think.

The world didn’t like that and did a lazy spin around my head. Ugh.

That, of course, had Virgil attempting to sit up, but apparently the world hated him even more and he ended up with his eyes squeezed shut and his body curled up in a ball.

Scott slept on.

Which was weird because Scott sleeps like he lives, alert and ready to move at the first indication of need.

It sucks when you’re trying to prank the guy.

Virg is so much easier to graffiti in his sleep.

I waited for the world to settle, which it did, along with my stomach…what is it with spinning and puking? It’s a bit lame when I can handle zero-g so easily and then one cup of coffee and I can’t even handle sitting up in bed.

It stilled enough for me to focus on my bedridden brother.

“Virgil? What’s wrong?”

He slowly relaxed and opened his eyes.

They latched on to me again.

But he didn’t say anything.

“You’re staring at me, Virg. Gonna start weirding me out.”

He blinked and visibly swallowed. “How are you feeling?”

Typical. Out of the two of us, he was obviously worse off at this point in time.

“Better.” Still felt like I had taken on re-entry backwards in a bathtub, but yeah, better than I was. “Why are you in here?”

“I’m okay, Allie.”

“You don’t look okay. And big brother is on sentry duty, so I’m guessing you’re not.”

He swallowed again and closed his eyes. “Doesn’t matter.”

Doesn’t matter? Of course, it matters. Virgil, you’re an ass. And while I’m at it, so are you, Scott. This bullshit about being strong and invincible for us younger brothers just sucks. Do you think we are idiots and can’t see that you’re hurting?

Just stop the heroics, okay?

I tried something else.

“So what happened to Scott?”

I didn’t think it was possible for Virgil’s expression to get worse, but it was. There was something very wrong and my stomach churned over. Virgil obviously wasn’t himself.

And it was scaring me.

“Virgil, talk to me.”

“H-He and Gordy had a fight.” It was said with more breath than voice.

“What? Why?”

“’Cause they were upset.”

I frowned. “About me?” Gordy must have been angry about something. Scott didn’t start brotherly fights any more than Virgil started prank wars.

But he did end them.

“No…not about you.” Virgil closed his eyes and scrunched up his face.

My heart clenched. “Please tell me what is going on.”

Virgil groaned and pushed himself up, dropping his feet off the edge of the bed. He wavered so badly, I was out of bed and grabbing him before my own vertigo could catch up.

It did eventually and I was caught between holding him up and holding myself up.

Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. “Allie, god, I am so sorry.”

He smelt of sweat and anxiety and his whole frame was trembling.

“Virgil, what is wrong with you?”

His hand wrapped around the back of my head and his fingers brushed through my hair. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know that. Virgil, what?”

But he only pulled me closer.

Now I’m not one to say no to hugs. Big brother hugs, while embarrassing are actually quite nice at the right moment. But Virgil was obviously sick and something was very wrong.

And goddamnit, I was scared, okay?

So I did the one thing I knew would help.

I spoke loudly over Virgil’s shoulder. “Scott?!”

The moment I said his name, my biggest brother startled out of sleep. It would have been comical if I had remotely felt like laughing.

I felt more like crying.

“Allie? Virgil, what are you doing?” He blinked rapidly, obviously attempting to focus.

The arms around me tightened a little more as if Virgil feared I would try to escape.

“What’s wrong with him?” It was muffled against Virgil’s t-shirt.

Scott swore under his breath with a word I doubt I was meant to hear as he stumbled to his feet and made his way around the bed. “Acute caffeine withdrawal.” He gently reached for Virgil. “Virg, you with me?”

“Caffeine withdrawal? Why?” We had plenty of coffee down in stores. Just because I had been too lazy to go hunting for it didn’t mean we didn’t have any…

Blue eyes latched onto mine and conveyed everything.

Oh, man.

I screwed up so badly.

“How long will it last?”

“Two to nine days unless he drinks some coffee. Virgil, you need to rest. Allie needs to go back to bed.”

Virgil let go so abruptly, I nearly fell.

Scott reached out and steadied me as Virgil stared at me in literal horror. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“What? Virgil, what are you talking about now?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he curled in on himself again, tipping onto his side, still shivering.

I turned to Scott. “What happened?”

“Sit down, Alan. Preferably before you fall down.” I realised he now had a hand on both of my shoulders and he was likely the only reason I wasn’t on the floor.

The world was determined to do that spin thing.

Scott led me back to my bed and wouldn’t say anything until I was lying in bed.

His gaze did dart towards Virgil multiple times with as much worry as I felt.

“What is going on?” I stared up at his face. His bottom lip was swollen, his nose, too, and he had a butterfly bandage on his forehead. “Why were you fighting?”

Scott darted another glance in Virgil’s direction before answering. “It was nothing. Just sparring.”

“Gords hit you. That’s not nothing.”

He sighed and his shoulders dropped as he again looked at Virgil. “No…no, it’s not. But it is nothing for you to worry about. You need to rest, Alan.”

“Are you kidding me?!” I shoved a pointed finger in Virgil’s direction “Look at him!”

“I’m okay, Alan.”

“Bullshit, Virg. You look awful and Scott’s not much better.”

“‘S been a shit day, Allie.” He shuddered. “I’ll get over it.”

“In two to nine days, apparently.” I was pissed. Tired and pissed. Scared and pissed. Really pissed. “I’m not a kid, guys!”

“No.” Scott’s voice was quiet. “You’re not.”

There was a silence after that…filled by what I had done so recently and the repercussions were directly in front of me.

“Where’s Gordon?”

“He’s fine. Grandma has checked on him. With a bit of luck, he is sleeping. Just like we should be.” Again, his eyes darted towards Virgil.

“What about John?”

“What about him?”

“He isn’t sporting some injury you’re hiding from me, is he?”

“What? No! He should be in bed.”

“John is always the sensible one.”

The expression on Scott’s face was just ‘Wha-?’ but he was obviously still distracted by Virgil, who had scrunched his eyes closed again. “C’mon, Allie, you need to rest.”

He even tried to tuck me in.

I batted his hands away. “No! I want answers. What the hell is going on?”

Scott’s lips thinned the way they always did when a command was not obeyed immediately. Hell, big bro, I love you, but you’re not always right.

“This is not the time.”

“The hell it isn’t.” I gasped in a breath. “I did this. At least give me the courtesy of knowing exactly how much I screwed up.”

“’S not your f-fault.” Virgil still had his face clenched up.

“Alan, this is not about blame. It is about resting and recovering.”

I stared at him. Not about blame? The last time I saw him he was spitting fire at…aw, hell.

What had happened suddenly clarified in my head. Scott yelled at Virgil, Gordon took exception and got angry…

And punched Scott.

Not about me, but all about me, and all my fault because I couldn’t be bothered to make fresh coffee.

I’m good at extrapolating, working fast equations in my head. It is part of what makes me such a good space pilot. It is unconscious and zen, but it is there.

This extrapolation just hurt.

I stared at those caring, worried blue eyes. “I’m not a kid, Scott. I know I screwed up. I can take the responsibility.” I swallowed. “You don’t have to defend me.” I held those eyes. “Much less against Virgil.”

“’s not your fault! ‘M i-idiot.” And Virgil was attempting to sit up again.

Scott scampered around the bed and caught him before he could fall. “Lie down, Virgil!”

“Hurt Allie. M’fault. ‘M sorry.”

Scott wrapped him in his arms, drawing his bowed head to his chest. “You’re not thinking straight. Give it time.”

The sound Virgil made was muffled against Scott’s shirt, but it tore my heart out anyway.

“Virgil, I’m the idiot, okay? I knew what I was doing. Please…” My throat hitched and I realised I had tears in my eyes and my heart was thudding in my chest.

My fault.

I stared at my brothers as Scott tried to settle Virgil, murmuring words I couldn’t quite hear.

I had hurt them doing something ever so stupid.

I’m so sorry.

Ever so sorry.

Curled up on my bed listening, it felt like I was stuck in the moment. I knew things would get better. And they did. But right then all I wanted to do was cry.

-o-o-o-

Part 5, Bit 5

[helloprettybb]

first

I feel like I start every fic that I make after a long break the same way. But, I’m back for now. I’m always active on Tumblr, but I never have the motivation to write a full fic. This is Peter Parker x reader and both of them are 18. This may or may not be “inspired by true events.” Also, I apologize for anytime I wrote, “fighting for dominance,” during a kissing scene.

warnings- first kiss awkwardness, cursing, low-key smut, hickey, intense kissing lol, feeling and stuff, choking, CHOKE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME

summary- when peter finds out that you haven’t had your first kiss yet, he decides to help out... as a friend, of course.

word count- 1.8k

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, not even looking up from his computer. After your second dramatic sigh, Peter finally spared you his attention. 

“Just thinking,” you respond vaguely. You’re laying on Peter’s bed, staring at his ceiling.

“Thinking about what?” you tilt your head to see that Peter is still typing on his computer. You roll your eyes at his absentmindedness.

“How in a couple of months I’ll be in college and still haven’t had my first kiss yet.” you admit. At eighteen years old, you’ve never kissed anyone. Unlike everyone else who had their first kiss in middle school, you missed out on that. Granted, you were never asked out or invited to any parties, but you should have kissed someone by now.

This new information finally makes Peter close his laptop. “You haven’t had your first kiss?”

You sit up so you can face him. “I know it’s embarrassing. But no, I’ve never had my first kiss.”

Peter wheels his chair toward you. “Well, I promise you it’s not embarrassing.” he assures. “Some people might find it adorable.” 

You laugh, “Adorable? I think it’s stupid.” you flop onto his bed again, “I’m just a pathetic virgin.”

“Hey, you’re not a pathetic virgin.” Peter responds. You sit up on your elbows to glare at him. “You just don’t have much experience. That’s fine. Cool even.” he adds awkwardly.

“It’s not cool or adorable. It’s so lame. At this point, I just want to get it over with.” you confess. 

Peter furrows his eyebrows, “Get it over with?”

“Yeah, I don’t want it to mean anything. I’ve waited this long and the longer I wait, the more anticipation will build up. I just need to do it so I won’t have to think about it anymore.” You ramble. Peter looks confused, so you ask, “What?”

“You uh, want to get it over with?” he asks. Peter moves from his desk chair to sit beside you on the bed.

“Yes?” you reply, wondering where he’s going with this.

“What if...” Peter looks away like he’s trying to find the right words. His voice drops and he mumbles, “I kiss you so you can get it over with.” Luckily, you’ve dealt with Peter and his mumbling for years so you heard what he said.

“You’ll kiss me?” you ask, disbelief laced in your voice.  Peter Parker, your best friend of seven years, is willing to kiss you just because. 

“Yeah, I mean if you want. We don’t have to. It’s just that you said you wanted to get it over with and that it’s been on your mind. So if we kissed, you wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. But I also get how you’d want to have your first kiss with someone you like,” Peter rambles. He averts his eyes as he rambles, having them go everywhere but meet your face.

“Peter,” you say to interrupt his muttering. “That’s fine.”

“It is?” he asks, still nervous.

“Yeah. I trust you and we’re friends, so it won’t be weird.” you reason.

“Okay, okay.” Peter nods. After his agreement, the room fills with awkwardness. Neither of you knows what to do or how to start. The two of you avoid eye contact with each other for almost a minute. You’re about to say something when you look up and see that Peter is moving in.

You have barely enough time to prepare before his lips are meeting yours. Internally, you scream seeing as you’re having your first kiss with Peter Parker and it’s good! You were so caught off guard that your arms are frozen to your sides. You pull away a little and ask Peter, “Uh, what do I do with my hands?”

“Just put them anywhere,” he replies. You awkwardly place your left arm around his shoulder and your right hand lands at the base of his neck. Peter leans in again and this time you’re more ready. This time when your lips meet, it feels like heaven. Peter’s slow and sweet given that it’s your first kiss. He doesn’t go too fast, only occasionally sucking at your lip. He slowly incorporates his tongue and you let out a moan. You would be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so perfect.

Peter’s left hand, which was previously resting on your cheek, moves to lightly trace your chin. You feel him increase the speed and pressure subtly. You don’t mind as you try to keep up, but concede and let him guide you. Before you could lean more into the kiss, he pulls away. He looks at you like he’s expecting you to say something.

“Thanks?” you state almost like a question. 

Peter chuckles awkwardly and asks, “Thanks? That’s it?” You lightly slap his arm as he laughs at your embarrassment. 

“You know I’m terrible at reacting!” you exclaim. Never have you been so annoyed at your inability to give reactions. 

As if he could sense your embarrassment, Peter adds, “Well, you’re actually better than most people.” Surprisingly, you have a reaction at that.

“Really?” you ask incredulously.

“Yeah. The first time I kissed MJ, she ran into me and we hit teeth.” Peter admits and you laugh. He joins in and the lust almost leaves the atmosphere. Then the laughter dies down and an air of confusion fills the room. 

You want to ask if you can kiss again, but Peter answers your question when he leans in. You have barely enough time to resume the awkward hand position before you meet his lips. He starts off a little more passionately than before and you wonder if he’s enjoying it as much as you. Peter’s hand moves to the back of your neck. He parts slightly, but still close enough where you could feel his breath on your lips. 

“I want to try something,” he whispers. Before you could ask, his mouth trails down your cheek and to the side of your neck. He plants light kisses on your neck and you remember your cousin’s wedding is tomorrow.

“You know, I have to show my neck tomorrow,” you let out breathily. Trying to prevent your worries from overshadowing the moment. 

“No marks,” Peter whispers against your neck. He gives a couple of light kisses before adding, “Unless you want one.” You’re not going to have your first kiss and not get a hickey.

“Okay, just under my shirt,” you reply. Peter doesn’t say anything, but you feel him play with the collar of your shirt. You didn’t choose the most flexible shirt to wear, but then again, you didn’t plan on kissing Peter Parker when you woke up today. 

You feel him gently tug your collar down before placing lips below your collarbone. He begins to suck and you can’t help but moan at the feeling. You try to card your fingers through his hair, but it’s too short so you settle with caressing the back of his head. Peter doesn’t seem to mind as he continues to give you a hickey.

Once he finishes, Peter pulls away slightly to look at you. Not wanting to be trapped in a weird conversation, you take initiative and put him towards you. Peter’s lips meet yours and you passionately make out. His right hand moves from your chin to the back of your head. He moves his fingers into your hair and gently tugs. To your disappointment, he only does that once before moving back to cup your chin. His left hand lightly trails the side of your neck. You continue to kiss as you feel his hand slowly make its way around your neck. He gives a tentative squeeze and you sigh lightly. You never thought you’d be into choking, but today you were learning wildly new things about yourself.

Peter tries again, but for a couple more seconds and you let out another breathy sigh. He releases his grip before tightening around your neck. This time, Peter keeps his hand there until you feel a euphoric lightheadedness. Peter chokes you a couple more times, with you moaning loudly frequently. You begin to worry that you’re the only one making noise, but Peter starts groaning against your lips. 

You feel your nerves building and insecurities piling so you focus on Peter and his essence. His faint cologne and the light taste of coffee distract you from any concerns you previously had. You think that you have the lead so you pull him closer to you. But once he feels your eagerness, Peter responds quickly by pinning you to the wall. You tilt your head back as he passionately kisses you with a couple of bites in between. Your lip is probably fucked, but you love it. 

You feel Peter’s right hand travel down while his left remains under your chin. It rests at your lower back for a moment before going beneath your shirt. His gentle touch sends a chill down your spine as he rubs circles on your lower back.  He stays there for seconds or maybe minutes. Ever since the first kiss, you have had a skewed sense of time.

Peter’s hand moves from your back to the front of your body. It snakes under your bra and you feel him flick your nipple. You gasp at the feeling and he continues to play with your tit. You’ve never been so relieved that May is away as the room fills with lewd sounds from both of you. 

Peter retracts his hand from underneath your shirt and returns to your lower back. You think he’s going to move back to your neck, but his hand goes down to your ass. He cups it and you both moan. 

You think he’s going to stop at your ass, but you feel his hand smooth over your jeans and end at your inner thigh. He gives a light squeeze before pulling apart and asking, “Do you want me to?” 

“Yes,” you breathe out, sounding and looking like a mess, but you don’t care. Peter Parker wanted you and right now, you wanted him, too. After you gave him the word, Peter quickly undid your jeans and dipped his hands until his fingers met your clit. You gasped when he started rubbing gentle circles. 

Peter cupped your face with his other hand as he continues to play with your clit.  You felt him pull away and open your eyes. You make eye contact with Peter and he starts rubbing your clit faster. Before you could moan too loud, you pull him back to your lips to quiet yourself. 

Peter and your groans fill the room as you feel your climax growing. Your head falls onto his left shoulder as you grip Peter’s bicep. Sensing your desperation, he whispers, “I know you’re close, baby. Cum for me.” 

“Fuck,” you gasp when you cum. Peter rides you through your orgasm, before pulling his hands out of your pants. 

As you zip your jeans, Peter asks, “Was that okay?”