#this episode is honestly one of my favourites
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YOU DON'T REALLY NEED A BREAK
☆ SYNOPSIS: in which billie is stressed, so naturally she needs you more than ever. unbenkownst to her, she takes it too far. ☆ PART ONE ☆ RELATIONSHIP: dom!billie eilish x fem!reader ☆ WARNINGS: SMUT, use of safe word, angst, fluff, comfort, mean billie, reader is a little bratty, situationship/fwb, angry sex, crying, strap-on, edging, degradation, petnames, name calling (slut, whore, brat, etc.), choking, hair pulling, humiliation, dumbification, toxic dynamic (except less so because billie's realising things hehe), unedited. ☆ REQUESTED: yes, by a bunch of anons ☆ NOTE: y'all read my mind with these reqeusts i was already thinking of writing a part two abt exactly this and you all had the same idea!! sorry this took so long lmao exams are kicking my ass :/ this is very unedited sorry for any mistakes i read it through once and then posted it lmao read part one first for it to make more sense ☆ WORD COUNT: 3.5k words
billie hadn’t texted you in a little over a week, and you almost thought that she wasn’t ever going to again. the last time you’d seen her had ended like all of the other nights, she’d cleaned you up and then left you alone in the silent hotel room. usually, she’d text afterwards, just to make sure you were feeling okay, but there was nothing. the last text between the two of you was when you’d asked where she was when she was late that night.
the two of you normally hooked up at least a few times a week, and you’d never actually gone a week without her since you started this four months ago.
you thought the worst: someone else had replaced you as her favourite. you’d always thought it would happen, but you thought you might have a few more times before it was over. but from the looks of it, you weren’t ever going to see her again.
which was fine, obviously. you didn’t care—or that’s what you kept telling yourself. you had agreed to a no-commitment thing when you two started whatever this was, and she could do whatever she wanted. it stung a little bit that she wasn’t doing you, but ultimately, there was nothing you could do about it.
so when you got home from a long day, thoroughly exhausted, your plan for the night was to hide in your bed and watch 2000s tv shows until you passed out. you showered, taking your time to wash your hair and feeling your tense and tired muscles relax under the hot stream of water. once out of the shower, you changed into some comfortable clothes, flopping down on your bed in relief. you were ready to finally just cuddle up under the blankets like you’d been wishing you could do all day.
about eleven minutes into the gilmore girls episode you were up to—rewatching for the hundredth time—your phone pinged, and you almost just ignored it, but you picked it up with a groan.
your eyes widened when you saw it was from billie, the last number you expected to text. your heart almost skipped a beat.
billie: come over?
you paused for a moment, conflicted. you truly were exhausted, and it had been such a long day, and all you wanted to do was sleep, you honestly weren’t in the mood for what you knew billie would want. but… it was billie.
so, inevitably, you ended up at her door. you were still in the clothes you’d changed into the moment you got home, just some comfortable sweatpants and a top—billie wouldn’t care about what you wore, she wanted you to be comfortable. plus, you knew full well that you wouldn’t be wearing them for long.
you knocked on the door, and it opened within mere seconds, almost as if billie had been waiting by the door for you to show up. from the look on her face, you wouldn’t be surprised. she looked stressed, angry, and desperate. you looked her up and down, your eyes settling on her face. she was wearing a pretty similar outfit to you, sweatpants that hung low on her hips, the “HIT ME HARD AND SOFT” waistband of her boxers peeking out, and a white tank top that you could see the slight hint of her nipples peeking through. her arms were bare and your eyes seemed to gravitate towards the toned muscles there, which never failed to make your brain short circuit. paired with the noticeable outline of her strap in her pants, it was almost too much for you to take.
you noticed the way her eyebrows were slightly furrowed and her eyes were narrowed in a firm gaze, the frustration was clear on her face. “rough day?”
she groaned, and when she spoke, her voice had a slight rasp to it, “you have no idea.”
the two of you fell into silence, just staring at each other for a few long moments. it wasn’t a comfortable silence, it was one that hung in the air around you, a claustrophobic silence. there were words left unspoken between the two of you that poked their heads around the corner but never truly revealed itself, it left you wondering when it would snap, but it never did. the two of you stared at each other for what felt like lifetimes, you waiting for billie to do something, and billie simply savouring the feeling of having you in front of her again.
finally, she spoke, her voice still holding that same raspiness—which alone could get you on your knees for her. “it’s pathetic that you’re here so fast, considering i ghosted you for a week. you’re just a desperate slut for me, aren’t you? not that you’d be good for anything else.”
the bluntness of her words sent a chill down your spine, this was exactly what you’d expected. why else would billie text you after a week of not talking, if not to use her favourite girl?
billie continued talking before you could even get a word in, it was like she’d read your thoughts. she leaned closer, her lips brushing your ear as she spoke, “you know i could just call over any of my girls and they’d be here in a heartbeat, and they’d be exactly the same. pathetic, desperate, and begging.”
you raised an eyebrow at her words. you knew what she was doing, trying to wind you up, get you to act out. you had honestly intended to just be her good girl tonight because you were so tired, but you knew she adored it when you acted up. so you spoke with the bratty tone you knew she loved.
“sure you could. but none of them are here now, are they? you called me.”
the brattiness, especially when she was in a mood like this, made her eyes light up. your brattiness was her favourite thing, she loved it when you gave her an excuse to be harsher and meaner than she was on a normal day. so, when you talked back to her, she lets out a dark laugh. “don’t fuckin’ test me, mama.”
you let a soft scoff fall past your lips, “or what?”
“you know i’ll put you in your place, i’ve done it before.” and then you realised, this was what set you apart. this was why you were her favourite. you weren’t afraid to act up, so she didn’t have to be afraid of taking it too far. she could push you, because you pushed her. “maybe you should. you want to blow off steam, don’t you?”
at your words, her lips twitched upwards into a slight, barely noticeable smirk. you knew she would be taking them as a challenge, “you’re gonna have to drop the bratty attitude eventually, mamas.”
“maybe you should make me.”
that was exactly what she wanted—she wanted you to keep going, keep winding her up. she wanted you to give her a reason to pin you down and tear you apart; and you gave her that reason with that simple suggestion.
she took your wrist in her hand, her grip almost painful as she tugged you behind her to her bedroom. the air felt different than it normally did when you were here, everything felt so tense. her entire body language screamed irritated, dominant. but it wasn’t the normal kind of dominance she normally exuded. billie always had this kind of casual dominance that just hung around her, her presence was just effortlessly assertive. this is different, she had a look in her eyes you hadn’t seen before—she was always mean, but this was her normal level of mean times ten.
she was clearly in a whole new headspace, not one you were familiar with. this wasn’t just dominant, wasn’t just mean, no, it was something else. she wasn’t just a little stressed, she didn’t just have a little bit of frustration she needed to take out on you, this was worse. it was an almost animalistic kind of energy, one that’s so raw, so intense, you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk by the time she was finished with you.
she took one of the belts from her merch from her dresser, shoving you backwards onto the bed and tying your hands to the headboard. she tugged it slightly, making sure it was firm but not too tight. it sent a rush of excitement through you, and you knew she felt the same.
“gonna use you, mamas,” you knew from those words that she was going to absolutely ruin you, and you could tell by the look in her eyes.
sure enough, no more than five minutes later, she had her strap deep inside of you and was pounding into you at a bruising pace. the strap was bigger than the one she usually used, and it made you ache with a constant stinging pain. she hadn’t given you any time to adjust, and had started as she meant to go on. you were naked and on her bed, with her on top of you, fucking into you at a brutal pace. your hands were still tied up with her belt and the ache it brought only amplified the pleasure. one of her hands had your hair in a firm grasp, solely to make you feel the sting of pain it brought. she wanted to bring you to tears. her other hand grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing it before letting her hand fall down on your ass in a harsh slap.
the intense pleasure of her cock inside you and her finger circling your clit was a perfect contrast to the pain her hands brought you, and a trail of moans fell from your lips. “b-billie-”
a mean, almost cruel laugh left her lips, “god, you’re such a slut.” another slap landed on your ass, “it’s pathetic, really. i mean, i can ghost you for as long as i want,” another slap. “and you’re still at my door in five minutes as soon as i ask.” slap, “pathetic fuckin’ whore.”
you whined, which simply made her laugh. in her own sadistic way, she was enjoying this.
this continued for what felt like hours—maybe it was, you had no idea. every time you got slightly close to your orgasm, she’d pull out, tugging you away from the edge. by now, you had tears rolling down your cheeks, and the fine line between pleasure and pain was slowly but surely being crossed.
“fuckin’ take it,” she breathed. “god, you look so dumb around my cock. all you’re good for, hm? spreading your legs and taking it like the slut you are?”
you whimpered, and she simply slapped your ass again.
this continued for much longer, and she wasn’t even mad at you for being bratty, not in the slightest. she just needed an outlet for her bad mood, and that was what you were. merely a way for her to release her frustrations.
you let out a choked sob, your body trembling, “billie, please, i can’t—”
you knew she wasn’t doing this because she had anything against you, there had been something deeply wrong with her day. she had never been this downright cruel before, and you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t act like this without reason. but it was too much, and you weren’t sure how much more you could take. she hadn’t asked for your colour even once tonight, and that thought alone was putting you on edge. sure, her being rough turned you on, but right now it was scaring you just as much. this was darker than you’d experienced in all four months of your friends with benefits situation with her, and you weren’t sure if you liked it.
you felt the strap hit your most sensitive spot, and you let out a sound that was a mix of a moan and a sob. “billie–”
“like being used by me, yeah? taking everything i give you like a slut?”
you weren’t sure when you realised that you actually weren’t enjoying it anymore, but it was obvious all of a sudden. it hurt, and not in a good way. you were exhausted from both your day and the sheer amount of time she’d been edging you for. the way your arms had been tied to the bed for so long was making them ache painfully, and at some point down the line, your tears of pleasure had turned into tears of pain.
you normally had the safety net of knowing that she was paying attention to your signals, knowing that she didn’t want to hurt you. but it didn’t even feel like she was aware of what she was doing, she was so caught up in herself and drowning out her own frustrations. you hated that lack of awareness, it was like she wouldn’t even notice if she actually hurt you.
she looked like she was about to speak again, so before she could get out another degrading comment, you gasped out, “red, billie–”
whatever half formed sentence billie had been about to say died on her tongue, your gasped words making her freeze inside of you. her mind suddenly went silent, her frustrated thoughts about her day coming to a halt as she looked down at you with wide, almost scared eyes. you’d never actually used your safeword—obviously it was something that the two of you had communicated, but billie had never expected to actually go too far, to push you to that. she was meant to check in on your colours, and she felt an intense pang of guilt when she realised that she hadn’t done that.
as she looked at you, noticing the tears and the exhausted expression, as well as the way your wrists were visibly sore from being tied for so long, she felt a sense of dread. she was overcome with shame and she didn’t know what to do about it. her breath caught in her throat as she processed what was going on.
“shit, i’m so sorry.” after a moment, she shook herself out of her paralysed shock, she would’ve pulled out immediately, but she was aware that that would just hurt you even more. so she leaned over, quickly untying the belt around your wrists and letting it fall to the ground beside the bed. she massaged your wrists gently for a moment, trying to soothe you.
her hands moved over your tense muscles, trying to ease some of the soreness. she brushed some of your hair out of your eyes, her touch soft and cautious. “i-i’m so sorry, baby. i never wanted to push you that far.”
you knew that. you knew that she would never actually intend to hurt you, you knew that she wasn’t herself. you didn’t need her to over explain herself, you just needed her to hold you. the hand that had been pushing your hair out of your eyes moved to stroke your cheek, and you could see the intense guilt in her eyes.
“i’m gonna pull out now, okay?” her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, eyes fixed on your face.
you simply nodded, hissing slightly in pain as she gently pulled the strap out of you. billie felt her stomach twist at your obvious pain, knowing that she had done that. “i know, i’m so sorry.”
once she was out of you, she climbed off you and gently shifted you so you were sitting further up the bed, propped up on the pillows slightly. her mind was clearly racing with what she could do to help, “do you need anything? water, food, whatever?”
you shook your head softly. if your brain hadn’t been so exhausted, you probably would have thought more rationally about this. but you didn’t, and you didn’t once consider the limited affection in your dynamic. “can you just hold me?”
billie didn’t hesitate, she just nodded instantly. “yeah, of course i can.” she joined you further up the bed, pulling you into her arms. she held you against her chest gently, her fingers soothingly running through your hair while her hand rubbed your back softly.
you could hear her heartbeat, it was fast and a clear reminder of how stressed she was. you spoke softly, “it’s okay, seriously.”
but it wasn’t okay, not to billie. she had hurt you, she had pushed you too far, even when you were already clearly tired. she should’ve known better, and the guilt was weighing down from her and eating her up from the inside. not to mention she was terrified that this might be your last straw, that you might never want to see her again, that she might have broken your trust. wondering why she cared so much about her casual fling’s feelings was something that would have left her perplexed on any other day, but it was not currently at the forefront of her mind. “but–”
“it’s okay.” you said firmly, “i wouldn’t be asking you to hold me if i was uncomfortable around you.”
those words seemed to ease billie’s nerves slightly, and she tightened her arms around you, holding you close. after a few minutes of this, she gently pulled you to sit in your lap, and you shifted so that your head was buried in the crook of her neck. you could feel her breathing on your skin, and you could feel her chest rising and falling with each breath. it was incredibly grounding, the feeling of just being close to her. ever so slowly, you felt your breathing calm and your heart rate slow down.
at least an hour passed as you were just laying there in her arms, your breathing syncing with hers as her fingers ran through your hair. it was a foreign thing, for the two of you to be this close without sex, but it felt so right. it was like you were made to be in her arms, despite the situation that had brought you here. you could sense her guilt, and if you’d been a bit more aware of what was going on, you probably would’ve realised that there was something more behind that guilt—something deeper than just feeling bad for pushing you. but you were unaware, it wasn’t really what took place at the front of your mind.
the room was filled with only the sound of both of you breathing, and your mind was taken over by the calming feeling of her playing with your hair. after a while, she broke the silence. “d’you wanna borrow something to wear?”
you couldn’t deny that you liked the feeling of this skin to skin contact, but you also knew that it was a good idea. so you nodded quietly, and she delicately lifted you off her lap and set you down on the bed. she walked over and grabbed you an oversized t-shirt to wear, and she walked into the ensuite to grab a damp cloth. she came back over and gently wiped your thighs with the cloth, at this point you didn’t flinch too much because it had been so long. she held out the t-shirt, which you recognised as one she had worn at some point.
“arms up, darling.” that was a new pet name, but you didn’t comment. instead, you just lifted your arms and allowed her to slip the top over your head. it smelt like her, which somehow just added to the comfort.
soon enough, she was back on the bed and you were back in her arms. she was laying down and you were laying with her, partly on top of her and partly just cuddled up to her side. this hadn’t happened before between the two of you, but you certainly weren’t complaining. her bed was comfortable, and her arms around you felt like a cocoon you never wanted to grow out of.
gradually, your breathing started to slow as the exhaustion caught up on you, both from the recent events and your already tiring day. your head slumped onto her shoulder as a yawn fell from your lips, to which billie smiled softly.
“do you want to stay the night?”
that was not something you’d ever expected billie to say, but you hummed softly against her shoulder. “if that’s okay, yeah.”
you could’ve sworn you heard a sigh of relief from billie, “of course it’s okay, please stay. i want you to stay.”
and so you did. you stayed that night, wrapped up in billie’s arms. it was so new, but it felt so right. that night had been an irreversible shift in your relationship, for both obvious reasons and more hidden ones. you knew that the two of you would have to talk about some stuff in the morning, and you knew you’d have to set some more boundaries. but you also felt closer to her than you ever had, somehow.
little did you know, that night was just as meaningful for billie as it was for you. she had had a revelation, one that she would likely keep to herself for a while, although there was no doubt you would find out eventually.
but there was no doubt that billie wanted you to stay, longer than she’d ever thought.
#୨ৎ lyd writes#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish smut#billie eilish angst#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction
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"to be loved is to be remembered" - a mini series by @cosmicalily. view series masterlist, and outline here
2. semantic memory | yang jeongin x fem!reader
semantic memory: a type of explicit memory that is categorised as general knowledge and information accumulated throughout an individual’s life.
author's note: oh, i missed writing for jeongin!! i was going to revert to my typical best friends to lovers but i decided to change it up (barely) and do roommates instead last minute! thank you for all the love on my seungmin fic, i hope you enjoy this one too!
Yang Jeongin was a good roommate.
He was reasonably quiet, but not uncomfortably so. He didn’t talk all the time, but he still joked around with you. He was clean and organised, but not meticulous or irritating about it. He did things without you asking; washed the dishes when you were staying up late to work on assignment, ordered you a Caesar salad and fries whenever he got takeout from his favourite Italian place, and always took whatever laundry you had with him when he went to wash his clothes.
When you went grocery shopping, you knew his favourite beer and ramyeon, and would always buy them for him. When you watered your plants, you’d always water his too, the ones he kept along the windowsill of his bedroom and on the balcony.
And apparently, when the air conditioning in his bedroom broke in the middle of summer, you’d let him temporarily move into your room. Or at least, that’s what you’d just told him.
“Really? Are you sure?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “You don’t have to. I’m sure I can find a fan or something.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I don’t mind. Honestly. I don’t do a lot of sleeping during the night anyway.”
“You’re always studying,” Jeongin rolled his eyes playfully.
“And you’re never studying, yet you somehow do so well in your classes. It pisses me off,” you groaned, giving him a light shove. “Anyway, you get the floor. Do you want some help migrating?”
The two of you dragged his mattress into your bedroom, out of breath and panting by the time it had been very unprettily dumped on your floor. He made the bed up with clean sheets, and offered to change yours as well. You thanked him, and told him you’d start making dinner.
When you’d finished, you called him, and he came out of your bedroom, shirt off, hair a little tousled. Your cheeks flushed pink and he raised an eyebrow at you in confusion.
“You look…nice,” you said awkwardly, handing him a beer.
“Thanks?” he chuckled, mouth full of rice.
You sighed dramatically. “Most boys would return the compliment,” you shook your head as you opened your bottle of peach soju.
“You always look nice. I tell you that all the time,” Jeongin replied, fumbling with the remote. “What show?”
“Brooklyn 99. And I always think you’re being sarcastic.”
“We always watch fucking Brooklyn 99. And no, I’m not. I thought that was obvious.”
“Because it’s the best show! And it’s not that obvious, not to me!” You protested.
Jeongin put his beer down and turned to you. “I’m so confused, why are we having two conversations at once?”
“You were the one who asked me two things.”
Jeongin pressed play on the episode. “One of them was a statement, the other was a question. You do always look nice. I’m not being sarcastic, I’m not a dickhead.”
“Some would argue that,” you giggled, and he gave you a gentle shove.
“Some would argue you’re a bitch,” Jeongin sighed. “But I put up with you.”
“Because you think I’m pretty?” you teased.
“Because of the rent,” he corrected. “How am I supposed to afford my own place in this economy? Although you’re a bonus, I suppose. Even if I have to watch Brooklyn 99 all the time and change your sheets.”
You kicked his shin. “You offered!”
He grabbed your leg with his hand and shifted it back into place, leaving his hand resting on your thigh. “Shut up. I’m trying to watch.”
“I thought you hated-” you laughed.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jeongin groaned, and he pinned you to the floor, tickling you until the two of you collapsed in a laughing heap, the show still running, dinner half eaten, drinks long forgotten.
The one thing you’d failed to mention to Jeongin was your habit of falling off the bed during the night. You were a professional tosser and turner, and that often ended up with you snapping out of your dreams face-down on the wooden floor, bruises littering your hips, knees and any other joint that was lucky enough to be the first to break your fall.
When you woke up, you were mortified to find yourself not on exposed hardwood, but on a mattress. With someone else, who was staring at you curiously.
“Fuck!” you groaned, shoving your face into the sheets. “I’m sorry. When did I end up here?”
Jeongin checked his phone. “Maybe 4 am? I don’t know, I didn’t notice until I rolled over and somebody’s face was in front of mine.”
“What’s the time now?”
“Just past 7.”
You rolled over and stared at the ceiling. “I should get up then.”
“Yeah, me too,” Jeongin agreed, but neither of you made any attempt to move.
You looked around your room, interested in your lower perspective. It still looked empty, too similar to when you’d first moved in. You’d been so caught up in studying and seeing your friends that you had forgotten to properly decorate your room.
“Your room’s boring,” Jeongin commented, as if reading your mind.
“Rude. But you’re right,” you agreed. “Maybe during the summer I’ll decorate it. Buy some posters, maybe find some new furniture on Facebook Marketplace.”
Jeongin nodded in approval. “I can help, if you want.”
“How can I trust that you’ll pick good home decor?” you rolled to face him, squinting.
“I know your taste, I’ve been living with you a year now,” Jeongin replied, scrolling through his phone. “Trust me, I don’t think I’ve forgotten a single thing about you.”
You chuckled. “Aw, do you have one of those lists with all my favourite things or something?”
“Nope. It’s all in here,” he tapped the side of his head, smiling playfully.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Do you want me to prove it?” he asked, turning to face you, eyes serious.
“Okay, then I’ll do the same,” you agreed.
Jeongin ran a hand through his hair and set his phone down. “Your favourite fruits are peaches, but nectarines come a close second. If stone fruits aren’t in season, you’ll settle for citrus. You’re prescribed an iron supplement, but you never take it, because you say it tastes like metal. Your favourite colour is pale blue, but it didn’t match the personal colour analysis that app gave you and you’ve been angry about it ever since. You drink with your friends, but don’t like getting drunk while you’re out since you have a fear of being kidnapped. You haven’t had a boyfriend since 12th grade, and you’re secretly in love with me,” he finished, eyes sparkling with mischief.
You rolled your eyes at his final statement. “Alright, Yang Jeongin. You’re the youngest in your friendship group but hate being babied, and you wanted to be a primary school teacher growing up. Your favourite colour is green, and you can fit a whole slice of pizza in your mouth. You can actually sing decently well, but never do, and you actually love Brooklyn 99 more than I do. You love buying clothes, and your favourite place to do so is the vintage shop down the road, where you spend all of your time and all of your money. And, above all, you get no bitches.”
“Don’t you classify as a bitch?” He laughed. “You did well, though. Everything you said was right.”
“You were right too,” you sighed. “I really thought you were going to say something insanely stupid that I could tease you for.”
Jeongin raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget that last statement?”
You ignored him. “I genuinely can’t believe you know that much about me. Fuck, I have to hide more about myself. I hate being perceived.”
Jeongin chuckled in amusement. “I pay attention. It’s weird hearing everything someone knows about you all at once. What am I supposed to do with that information?”
“I think we have to make out now,” you said casually.
He nodded, unsurprised. “I think we do.”
You shuffled closer, and he moved to lie above you, weight on his elbows. His eyes glittered, and his cheeks were tinged with peach. You smiled up at him, face warm and tingling. He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours softly, and you sighed into his mouth at the feeling. You moved your hands to cup his cheeks, deepening the kiss, pulling apart when you both lost your breath.
“You were right,” you panted, lips swollen.
“About?”
“Me being secretly in love with you.”
He smiled. “Well, you were wrong. About me getting no bitches. It wouldn’t be presumptuous to assume you’re my bitch, considering the fact that we just kissed?”
“I won’t be for long if you keep calling me that. It’s girlfriend to you now,” you giggled, and he wrapped an arm around your torso, pulling you tight onto his chest.
#stray kids#kpop#skz#stray kids x reader#skz fic#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#jeongin x reader#yang jeongin stray kids#skz jeongin x reader#jeongin fic#skz jeongin fic#stray kids jeongin fic#jeongin fluff#jeongin x you#jeongin x y/n#jeongin skz#yang jeongin skz#jeongin fluff fic#bangchan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#han jisung#felix skz#seungmin#jeongin#jeongin x reader fic#jeongin oneshot#jeongin imagine
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I’m having a lot of thoughts right now about the new episode and none of them are positive.
Firstly, I’ve made it known on my page that I’m a multi-shipper. I like both buddie and bucktommy but given the way this breakup was written I��m not feeling hopeful. It feels like a very bitter ending that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. It was always an option that they’d break up and I knew that going into it because unfortunately this is just how it goes but that breakup felt like the biggest disservice, like a slap in the face because it just came off as completely biphobic (the post ep interviews just made this 10 times worse) and ooc. It’s also the fact that Lou Ferrigno Jr had to put up with all that nonsense for no fucking reason. I as a tevan shipper am devastated but I also feel for Lou because he seemed to really love the role and was completely blindsided by this fucking crap. I could talk for days about how fucking shit Oliver’s interview was but I don’t feel like it so I’ll just say from the bottom of my heart absolutely fuck that biphobic rhetoric.
Secondly, as a buddie shipper, that end scene doesn’t feel like the win that it feels like for other buddie shippers for multiple reasons. 1. Neither are ready for any kind of relationship and idk if that scene will end with them sleeping together but let’s just say it does, that would also feel like a massive slap in the face because they would’ve had the chance to make such a beautiful storyline between Buck and Eddie but this one would be so cheap and flat. 2. Oliver’s interview where he says ‘let Buck fuck’. If they do in fact ‘let Buck fuck’ once it would be a slap in the face for shippers because honestly what would’ve been the fucking point?
Thirdly and finally before I stop ranting, the reactions to this have just shown me even further that people don’t care as long as Buck and Eddie are together. They don’t care that it would be fucking crap way for buddie to be canon. I guess as long as there’s two hot men kissing on the tv screen nobody gives a fuck about authenticity or representation :/
So many thoughts and feelings rn but I will say that as a multi-shipper I feel no fucking hope about any of my favourite ships right now lmao.
#911 abc#911#evan buckley#bucktommy#tommy kinard#911 spoilers#im not going to include an Eddie tag or buddie tag for the fact that I don’t feel like being shat on for having an opinion :/
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Well the day after episodes started just now for me and i no longer heartbroken
Im angry for myself, who finally was seeing interesting representation in my favourite character
Im angry for all older queer fans who was seeing themselves in tommy
Im angry for Lou, who was harassed and treated horribly for this half assed storyline and never protected by his colleagues.
The show? Im done. A was gonna stop watching after season 6, came back for bi storyline. I honestly thought that i stay even if bucktommy break up, but how they did it? How they wrote 8x05 for more hurt? How os started talking about this? Nooo, im done with this shit
But im not done with bucktommy. Honestly, most part of my sadness yesterday was... Because i keep seeing people diactivating and saying they not gonna finish their wips or art. I was feeling like i am losing community too. For last year bucktommy fandom became my safe place, even with all trolling and harassment from bvddie.
Buuut since yesterday i read like dozen of fix it, and i started see more people who saying - fuck tm, bucktommy ours now, we gonna do better, we live in fandom and im so happy!
For fuck sake, last two weeks i was reading Bagginshield fics. And you know, one of them dead. For more than 30 years lol we gonna be fine in delusions and fantasy
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One thing that will never fail to make me sob uncontrollably is Doctor Who series 7, episode 5 /The Angels Take Manhattan
#eleven doctor#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#the music piece called Goodbye Pond makes me start crying everytime I hear it#He said he didn’t like goodbyes and then had to say goodbye to them#sometimes I watch this episode then just stare at a wall for a little bit#this episode is honestly one of my favourites#I could honestly talk about this episode for a solid hour#I love it so much yet it hurts me#11th doctor#series 7#also the music piece Together Or Not At All (the song of Amy and Rory) makes me cry everytime I hear it#weeping angels
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konig is very good for ghost and soap in the soapbox saga finale <3
read the full comic (29 pages) on patreon!
#drawing this kiss was honestly one of my favourite parts#but yeah omg i spent the last 2-3 days just committing to getting this finale done#its by far the longest 'episode' in the series and im very proud of how it came out#also this comic series ended on such a sweet note despite the filth#love my boys#also the soapbox saga has technically ended but im definitely not abandoning these three#im far too attached to konig by now#wet cat and his two doms#konig#ghost#simon riley#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john mactavish#soapbox#soapbox saga#giragi art
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s10 lister is when he starts venturing into peepaw territory mhm mhm yep
(sorry for the break between edits! s11 will come eventually but yes this series is still going 💪)
#honestly one of my favourite seasons#he remains silly as always#almost makes me forget he almost gets blown up one episode#we love a man who can endure the horrors#red dwarf#lister#dave lister#red dwarf lister#red dwarf edit#zirafail’s lister edits
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that's grape
@joyholderboy
#one of the first 10mph clips i ever saw#hit so much harder after I started getting to know their personalities and such#10mph#ten minute power hour#dan avidan#arin hanson#game grumps#i fall asleep to 10mph#drop your favourite episode#mine's probably acrylic pouring or one of the board game videos#but honestly they're all good#just leaned on my eyeball with my knuckle. Bad move
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#everytome#s3#s3e8#oa#7340#the end card for episode 8 created by @aonori_ga_nai2 on twitter#if you are able to go to the artist's page they have more info about the paper craft#the dimensions for this is 64 × 40.5 × 24cm#there is so much care and detail put into it#honestly this is one of my favourite pieces of art outside of end cards; outside of mob psycho 100#absolutely stunning
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Vala being Vala in Stargate SG-1 9.01 Avalon pt. 1
#vala mal doran#claudia black#stargate#stargate sg1#sg1 gifs#vala mal doran gifs#stargate gifs#my gifs#claudia black gifs#she's so...#I honestly don't know why I chose pink for her ccs other than pink cuffs and pink jammies#vala gives me pink vibes okay#truly a babygirl#do i make more of these? I want to do a part 2#and maybe do her best lines from prometheus unbound#tbf i might just do a vala best lines set#these sets of favourite lines from specific episodes have been a really nice reprieve from editing the scully in every episode set#cause oh my god that one is killing me and my laptop#photoshop just can't handle it anymore#there's nothing i hate more than a bold faced lie is one of my favourite lines#cause coming from anyone else it might be mildly funny but from vala its fucking hysterical#also her smile when she says 'lets make babies'? so fucking cute
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I’m not sure if this is a hot take or not. But I can tell u that after their confession scene, I didn’t really enjoy Qtoey all that much. Every time they were on screen I was just internally screaming bc I was hoping for any Chain & pun scene. Christ there are 4 parts each episode and 4 main couples. There’s an easy division of screen time there. However it kinda feels like 2 parts PhumPeem, 1 part Qtoey and then 1 part either TanFang or the whole gang. I would have loved to see a lot more Tanfang & Chainpun if I’m being honest.
A kiss in the last 10 minutes of the fucking show is not a story.
TanFang have a whole narrative arc and the way that info gets revealed to us about them is so satisfying. Like when I recall past interactions I now do so with a whole new lense, I see depth and meaning in things that I simply brushed off.
PhumPeem are such a delight because of how emotionally well connected they are and I thought I would not like this ship all that much but it’s so precious and the story is so conceptually simple and yet so well written. Obviously there was a lot of beating around the bush but honestly? I was hooked.
Qtoey also had a great story of meeting in high school, and falling in love with each other through little notes before ever seeing each others faces, and the destined meeting once again as a senior and junior in College. However if I were to speak honestly, after getting Q and Toey together all of their scenes lagged. Also as a side note, they absolutely didn’t need that scene of Q and Toey doing the nasty. Especially since the og character for Toey is Ace. Hell! they could have done a really cool storyline of Toey and Q navigating this part of their relationship while being respectful of each others needs and boundaries.
ChainPun, got an off screen visit to the vet, a scene of them getting snacks, a scene of them releasing the bird and then suddenly a kiss. And before anyone says that Chainpun was a slow burn of childhood friends to lovers… babe no they’re not. A slow burn is slow I get that, but at least there’s SOMETHING to burn? I’ve been living off of crumbs here.
Finally, I don’t wanna come off as a hater, despite this post I do love this series. There’s a deep connection between all of the characters and it’s such a healthy depiction of so many different types of relationships between family, friends and lovers. The love of people who once hurt each other, those who have reconciled, those in the process of it, even the love of those who are so afraid of hurting each other they would rather hurt themselves.
#I know I’m nitpicking because this is one of my favourite shows and I DO LOVE IT.#but it feels like the couples I wanted screen time for got nothing.#TanFang were ELITE#I loved 99% of Phumpeem#I wish we had 30% less Qtoey#i honestly think we got maybe 4 scenes in 16 episodes of Chain and Pun that were less than 5 minutes each#no talking about feelings#no dive into puns feelings#when did Chain and Pun meet?#we’re they always like this?#How did Chain end up taking care of Pun#what are their ambitions?#Who are their family members#what’s their STORY????#we are the series#chain x pun#chainpun#qtoey#phumpeem#tanfang#gmmtv#bl series#long rant#unproofread#sorry
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Why am I crying over a four-eyed owl in a top hat and a red lizard hiding under a blanket??? T_T
#Holy crap that was amazing!!!#Honestly one of my favourite episodes!!#And Stolas' speech at the party was so relatable!!#AND THE SONGS HOLY CRAP!!!#Would it be weird to immediately watch it again?#Helluva Boss#Stolitz
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hello fellow ape-heads today i bring you a humble offering of all the episodes of the short-lived 1974 planet of the apes tv show all on a google drive for free :)
the series is about two astronauts, peter and alan, who accidentally travel forward in time to the 3080s (about 900ish years before the first movie) and befriend a friendly ape named galen (played by roddy mcdowall). the episodes follow the three of them as they travel across future california, running from the gorilla cop urko as he chases them down for upsetting the natural order of ape society.
all these episodes are already up on archive.org but i don't know about anyone else but that website is sooo slow for me so i just went and downloaded all the episodes. but then my laptop didn't have enough space so i moved them to a hard drive and it got tedious for me to reconnect it every time i wanted to rewatch an episode, so i just thought for ease of access i'd upload them to a google drive, and i figured other people would probably be interested in watching so here you go!!
i first heard about this show because the youtube channel ape nation is currently going through each of the episodes so if you want you can watch along with his weekly reviews!
i absolutely love this show so much and i never see anyone talk about it on here so hopefully this means people can watch it and i won't be alone in my appreciation for it anymore 😭😭
so go forth and enjoy the glory of the 1974 pota tv show!!
#pota#planet of the apes#roddy mcdowall#pota 1974#planet of the apes 1974#pota tv show#planet of the apes tv show#also the usual pls let me know if there's any issues viewing the episodes and all that#i want ppl to watch this so badly aaauugh#it is honestly one of my favourite instalments in the pota franchise like up there with dawn and kingdom#not to say it's as well constructed of a story as those are (it was cancelled before its first season was even finished)#(and doesn't even have a proper ending 😭)#(also the 1970s of it all. yknow)#but i looove the characters so much#and the worldbuilding choices. drive me insane#jury's still out if that's a positive or negative but i definitely Think about it an unhealthy amount#but fr galen is actually my favourite pota character of all time you can tell how much fun roddy mcdowall had playing him
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*The eyes are the window to the soul*
(You cannot deny it: they have the best eyesex)
#all creatures great and small#acgas#siegfried farnon#audrey hall#siegfried x audrey#siegfriedxaudrey#honestly: there is at least one moment like this in every episode#the selection above are just the few that I immediately remembered#except for the breakfast table one#this one is not even in focus because it kind of happens of screen#also had to include my favourite hand holding moment#because it's such a natural and familiar gesture to reach for her hand without looking at it and to feel where it is and then slowly embrace#so many things going on here: the we both cared for Tristan and look how far he's come look#the omg you look stunning look#the I am so glad you're by my side look#and the scolding glare audrey is so good at
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okay how does merlin s2 ep4 (lancelot and guinevere), an episode where the primary plotline is literally focused on the arthur-gwen-lancelot love triangle, still manage to be one of the most merthur and morgwen episodes ever
#like we got 'she is more than just my maid' and then morgana storming into arthurs chambers yelling at him to bring her back#not even noticing he's packing to leave#we got the reunion scene#we got merlin and arthur bickering for like 15 minutes#and the whole scene by the river where if you take out every line directly mentioning gwen it sounds like theyre talking about each other#and merlin distracting the guards like 'its him you need to worry about' and cut to arthur attacking#honestly one of my favourite episodes#great ep to be a multishipper#everyone is in love with everyone in this show its great#bbc merlin#merlin 2x04#arthur pendragon#merlin emrys#morgana pendragon#guinevere pendragon#bbc merlin lancelot
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I know I'd stand zero chance against Hannibal, but him killing Beverly makes me genuinely want to kill him
#on my first watch i was genuinely so sad to see her die. she's one of my favourite characters honestly#beverly was so cool and served so much cunt. i love her#am rewatching and just rewatched the episode he kills her#hannibal#beverly katz
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