#this episode had so many beautiful shots
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ewtoxic · 13 days ago
Text
Last thing I’m gonna say because I feel like it’s a little important. Because no matter I do no one is gonna gif the last scene. This is just what I think, I really….dont care if anyone doesn’t get it. As someone who is ummm older than this shows target audience annnnddd as someone with both Complex Trauma and PTSD, JJ’s ending still makes sense to me. I appreciated John B’s narration, because he shines a light on JJ’s best moments and best qualities, while also referencing his trauma. So like, there is no other side. And this is real. There is no true “happy ending” when it comes to trauma disorders, at least not in the way most people think (and I thought at one point as well). I have been told (and I knew it already) that I will need some form of therapy for the rest of my life. Trauma survivors do not get a magical happy ending. You can manage your disorder and find peace. It’s not about having a happy ending, it’s about having a moments of brightness and holding on to them while you’re in the dark. I mean that’s life in general really. And I think it was unbelievably important to show a character that goes through so much be looked at not as someone who got a bad ending and didn’t get the ride off into the sunset with their gf, but as someone who found joy and love and friendship even when experiencing all that pain. JJ’s story is a testament to the complexities of living with trauma and abuse. It’s a beautiful moment for him and the show. Him to die after saying he had everything he wanted and he got his wish. Honestly I think there a lot of important things in those last minutes that people would appreciate if yall weren’t so bent on getting fanserviced to with this show. You got used to how the entertainment industry interacts with social media and it’s made yall unable to really appreciate storytelling.
21 notes · View notes
kdramakitty · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
N no tame ni (2014) Episode 1
21 notes · View notes
nururu · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
he's just soooooo
12 notes · View notes
cloudbends · 1 month ago
Text
New pokemon arc YESSSS
#vi rambling#pokemon#i have many thoughts. most importantly.#HE APPEARS. IN SUCH A SWEET SCENE. AUGH.... the expressions. honestly its so great that#theyre leaning into his honorable qualities and the fact that hes so desperate for recognition. that smile was so genuine and appreciative#im not huge on zir and conia as characters in the narrative but im so glad he had a support system of some kind. and he values it so much.#because he has barely been shown warmth. hes opening up from his solitude. ARGHHH#ideally this is where the main trio comes in but well... holding out dai sato dont disappoint me please do not disappoint me with his arc.#the opening visuals are beautiful. gibeon shown as well as lucius's past traveling party... mysterious third woman?#very intrigued. also by the implication of a direct confrontation with him?#amethio seemingly on the objective to prove himself against spinel is exactly what i wanted so im glad this is where we're going.#i dont think him backtracking on his development and personality qualities that shone so brightly in The Episode is a good move#we'll see. i hope i can trust them#that said i loved liko and dot and roy's shots in the op and the general emphasis on evolution as Development because this series leans#so nicely into character and narrative development that getting a sort of reflection of that visually in the op was great#i loved seeing liko wake up again on the brave asagi#and next episode. im not looking forward to in particular ngl#im notttt huge on carmine appearing at all. never found that character compelling and i dont see her fit in with the overall narrative but#i also said this about penny. so im willing to be corrected. for now.#in general the only way ill be waiting for next episode is. friede in the kitakami getup. send post.#im kidding it might have nice moments im just not too into that type of deal so early into the new arc.
1 note · View note
soft4gguk · 3 months ago
Text
yearning | jjk one shot
Tumblr media
the one that finds you in Jungkook's doorstep after a night out...
Description: idol!jungkook x reader, fwb 
Content: porn with loads of plot!
Word Count: 7.5k
Warnings: oc smokes 1 cigarette lol, they’re so flirty ouch, so much kissing, cutest little dynamic, dry humping (a personal fave in this house), fingering, protected sex (they’re so smart!!), loads of spanking, jaykay ass man forever. 
Author’s Note: i once sworn to never write idol aus because… i know nothing about this man ok? i do not claim to know what he’s like in a relationship or a situationship or in his personal life!! so please thread carefully when reading <3333 that being said, his lives last year and these first couple of episodes of “are you sure?” have me feeling very delulu so here u go!! hope you enjoy xo
★ masterlist ★
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
The moment you exit the club, a gust of summer breeze engulfs you. It makes you wrap your arms around your body, but it amounts to nothing, the little black dress that you’d made the executive decision to wear, in the name of fashion, betraying you. The tequila shots you'd downed before leaving the house sure had deceived your senses, too.
Needless to say, you regret said decision, a shiver running down your spine all the way to your legs, making you jump a little in place as you tipsily look around you. You’d cut the night short. Your friends had found another lonely pair they’d quickly gotten cozy with, leaving you to drink one too many gin & tonics all by yourself. You hadn’t minded it for the first two hours, enjoying the music, sparking conversation with the bartender from time to time and entertaining the occasional stranger. Eventually though, it became boring, predictable, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel a little shitty about yourself. 
It was all getting repetitive. Friday nights, the same faces, small talk, ice breakers. Even the strangers you met had a similar M.O., making it all seem predictable. It made it feel like a waste of self, more than a waste of time, and it ate at you in moments like these, where it was strange to feel lonely amongst a sea of people, unable to shake the feeling.
The bright city lights illuminate the night, lacing it with something livelier than your mood and you smile. At least the scenery is always pretty. Pretty places. You hear the laughter of a group of people that stand a couple of feet away from you, they seem happy in that genuine way that reflects in pure, unadulterated beauty. Pretty people. 
You think of him. 
It’s rather instant. Or perhaps instinctive. The very own butterfly effect of your thoughts because to you, he’s the prettiest of them all. He’d been since the very first day, and as you lose focus of the pretty sights the more you stare into the city lights with him on your mind, you can’t help but think nothing will ever stand close. 
A girl stands next to you, audibly shivering as she exits the club and the air greets her with the same fate it did you. She holds a cigarette between her red lips, the fire from her pink lighter shining on her red hair. It makes you crave one, too, rummaging through your bag for your own. You smile when you remember how he would tease you for smoking “the skinny kind” as he would call them. Calling you a bit of a snob, but all in lighthearted nature. After all, he could. He knew you enough to let your closeness turn into inside jokes, banter. 
Perhaps giving into a vice could prevent you from falling into another. 
“Can I borrow your lighter?” she smiles at you before she’s handing it over. Her nails are pink, too. 
The fire feels pleasant for all of five seconds, warm against your face as you take the first drag. You give into one instinct so as to distract yourself from the one that’s tugging at your heart and senses, begging you to make a reckless call. 
You check the time. 
2:32 A.M.
~
Jungkook scrolls through the endless list of channels aimlessly. Small snippets from whatever’s playing that he cuts short, not really giving it much thought. He settles on one, solely so he can stop putting exertion on his thumb and go back to leaning against his couch – fully relaxed. He sighs. On the screen, some drama he hasn’t gotten around to watching plays, and the story seems to be developing quickly. He doesn’t care for it, if he’s honest, simply content with the white noise it fills the room with. 
Bam leaves his dog house, standing right in front of him and they seem to start an unspoken staring contest. He smiles, patting the spot right next to him on the couch and the pup rushes to take the place excitedly. He gets cuddles and kisses simply for existing. For keeping him company – his presence giving Jungkook more peace than he’ll ever know. 
“Hey, Bam, should we, like, meet up in our next life as well? Perhaps I’ll be the dog in that one and you’ll be my owner.”
Bam simply stares and Jungkook swears if he could, he’d let out a deep sigh right now. This makes him laugh. 
“Hey, don’t be jumping of excitement at the idea, man.”
At this, he attacks. With kisses, that is – wet, sloppy kisses that have Jungkook giggling and pushing back, though it is no use, his dog is that determined to give him love.
“Alright, you win. Let’s go get a beer. For me, not for you. You’re still too young. One day, son.” His voice takes on a lower tone, imitating his father. Or maybe Yoongi’s, he can’t tell anymore. 
He retrieves a cold beer mug from his freezer and cracks the can open, nodding his head at the sound it makes, the fizziness bubbling up before he pours it in the cold glass. He takes a sip as he walks back to the couch, blissed out in leisure.
He doesn’t mind being alone, specially not on nights like this when sleep leaves him and everything but seems more tempting. He likes the way everything slows down at this time of day, the ease of it all. No one to see, no texts to reply to. As for what the world is concerned for, he’s asleep. It’s peaceful, just being. 
Plopping down on the couch, he rests against the pillows, making himself comfortable. He must’ve spoken too soon, he thinks, because it’s not thirty seconds after this that his phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of him. He ponders on the possibility of simply ignoring it, let it sit there, facing down. But something tells him he should check the message. It could be important, or not. The pull isn’t necessarily violent, just a quiet voice that tells him so, like a little nudge. He leans forward, setting his beer on the table before he’s taking a hold of his phone. 
He gets it now – the pull. 
From ___: jungkookie, u awake?
To ___: no
From ___: can I call?
He smiles – so fucking big he almost hates that he does, slightly flustered and embarrassed you have this quick of an effect on him. And before he can talk himself out of it, he calls you. 
~
Seeing his name flash on your phone screen does more to you than anything you’ve deemed exhilarating tonight. The simple prospect of hearing his voice rushes more excitement through your body than any of the mindless conversations you had this evening. Than any of the conversations you’ve had all week perhaps. You smile and there’s no doubt that he can hear it in your voice when you say,
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
There’s a moment of silence and you can hear the smile on his face, too. It’s warmth – he’s warmth, even far. How far is he, you wonder. Did you happen to demand of him at a bad time? Will the end of this call find you disappointed?
You cut to the chase. 
“What are you up to?”
There’s a pause and you can hear the way he sinks into his couch. “Can’t sleep so I’m having a beer and watching some TV with Bamie.”
He’s home and a giddy giggle escapes you. “Ahh,” you say.
“You? It sounds busy in there.”
“Yeah, I’m outside the club.”
“Fun night?”
“No.” You don’t lie, you never lie to him. Don’t have the need to, or the want to. Everything about Jungkook is comfort – the kind that welcomes. 
“Yeah, had a feeling. It’s not really your scene, is it?”
Your head leans to the side, eyes closing for a moment. He knows you in ways most people don’t, and it’s a simple remark but it gets to you. The fact that he doesn’t see you for the parts of you that feel the emptiest settles on your heart. It’s good, you think, to be seen by someone who observes.
“I want to see you.” There’s all the point in the world to be honest right now. 
“Come over. I’ll make you ramen.”
“Will you show me your cat?”
There’s a pause. You picture him smiling, biting his lip, running a hand through his hair. 
“Yeah, that too.”
~
You sway from side to side, a little drunkenly and a whole lot excited, as you stand in front of his door. It’s brief, but as you wait you make a little reflection on your emotions. What exactly do you feel right now? It’s been so long – probably not that long – but long enough to make you happier than usual to be seeing his face. Anyone else would make you nervous, and perhaps he does, too, if only a little. But it’s a different kind of nervous. It’s laced with sweetness, as opposed to anxiety. And the minute he opens his front door, it’s replaced by something sweeter. 
Yearning. 
He stands there, glasses and black sweatpants on, signature oversized shirt – something so very home about him. Your eyes widen as you take in his hair, it’s grown significantly, giving you a rough idea of when it was you last saw him. Two, three months ago. He looks good; rested, fresh, beautiful. You can smell him before you even touch him and it makes you smile. He returns it. 
Yeah – yearning. 
“I like your hair,” you say, because anything else would give you away. 
“Yeah?” he runs a hand through it. “I like you.”
“I like you, too.” Let it give you away, you think. Who cares?
“Alright, well- it was nice seeing you.” He says, closing the door in a too casual, yet dramatic manner and you laugh, simply standing there – a little flustered because, oh does it feel good when Jeon Jungkook flirts with you in that boyish, teasing way only he knows how. 
He doesn’t close the door all the way. Instead, he leaves it open far enough for you to see the way he peeks his head out, nose scrunch and toothy smile to signal just how proud he is of himself right now. 
“Come here,” he tells you, reaching his hand out from the little gap and pulling you closer as you yelp, squeezing through the nearly closed door. “I missed you.”
You’re in his arms again, and the moment he closes the door behind you, his lips are on yours. It’s a soft kiss, one that says I missed you because you know him well enough by now to understand the things he says with his lips, and his eyes. With his hands, too.
“Mm,-“ you don’t want to pull back to get your words out, so you don’t. “Me more.”
Jungkook was always a happy coincidence – or at least that’s what you told yourself in a futile attempt to tame the feelings down. But the truth was that being back in his arms felt like fate, in that gentle way that doesn’t come in a movie-like encounter or in some sort of catastrophe bringing you together. Just being here. Anywhere, with him, felt fateful. You opt to believe in angels right this second just to thank them. 
“How are you,” his hand cups your cheek, pecking your lips before you can answer. 
“Good- better now.” His kisses muffle your words and you think you could live with this interruption for the rest of your life. 
“Yeah, me too.”
You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he circles his around your middle. You take him in, not one for big displays of affection yet this one you could never deny, could never not welcome. 
It’s a sweet moment but the pull turns hasty soon enough the more your lips become familiar with one another yet again. You run your fingers through his long hair, rejoicing in its softness and length. His hand travels down, slowly but a bit desperately, squeezing when they meet your ass. 
What has a promising ending is cut short by none other than your rumbling stomach. It’s rather loudly and you both hear it, laughing in the middle of the kiss you two seem to refuse parting from. 
“You hungry, baby?”
“You promised ramen. And something about a cat.” Your lips part and you look at him, a pretty smile on his equally pretty face. 
“Mm, yeah. I did. I’m all stocked up on ramen but the cat…,”
“I prefer Bamie anyways.” 
You leave his arms, a smile on your face as you walk towards his beloved child’s crate. The moment he sees you, he hesitates for a moment, not yet having Jungkook’s command to leave his space but he’s excited – you can even make up his little tail wagging from side to side. 
“Come here, baby.”
He runs to you and nearly tackles you, settling into the floor to give him the proper cuddles he deserves. He steps on you the way he did when he was a puppy, sitting down on your knees as you scratch under his ears. 
“No one’s allowed to tell him he’s grown up. He’s little forever.”
Jungkook laughs. “He’s Jiminie’s height.” 
You sneer at him, shaking your head at his joke. He stands there, staring at you with a fondness he reserves for certain things that bring him that kind of comfort that’s gotten rarer over the years. He’s grown up, matured and gotten real about a lot of things but not you.
Never you. 
You’re still the innocence he kissed you with that very first time and the little bit of fear it wouldn’t go further than that. You’re the excitement he had when it did. You’re the flirty teasing and the falling in trust, opening himself little by little. You’re still something he once dreamt about – he still does. You’re the thing he has and doesn’t at the same time. You’re you. 
Your loud giggles as Bam licks your cheek wake him up from his little daydream and he winces at the sloppy kisses he’s leaving. You don’t seem to mind though and he knows that if it were up to you, you’d stay there til dawn. No ramen, no cat. 
“Alright, alright. Daddy’s getting jealous now. You can’t have her all to yourself.”
Your cheeky smile tells him you’re up to no good. “Daddy, huh? Have we ever tried that?”
“What haven’t we tried?” He genuinely ponders on his own question. 
“Pegging!” You say, a little too quickly and excitedly for his liking. 
“Absolutely not.”
“Mean.”
“Come on, let’s feed you.”
You smile. “Okay, daddy.”
~
It’s a chaos in the kitchen in between distracting kisses and your tipsy antics, munching on Jungkook’s leftover fried chicken as you scavenger hunt his cupboards for anything that could satisfy your alcohol induced need for sweets and carbs. You’d begged for pancakes, but he didn’t have any honey, and what’s pancakes without honey, really? 
“Ramen. Enoki and spring onions.” He says, convincing himself more than he convinces you.
“Okayyyyy. Ramen, enoki- what else did you say?”
His thumb and pointer finger rest at his temples in mock exasperation, making you giggle. “Hey, why don’t you go shower? This’ll be ready when you’re done.”
“Will you be able to work a knife with the thought of me all wet and naked in your shower?” 
“I’ll get you wet and naked later. Go sober up. Quick, quick!”
You laugh, kissing his cheek loudly and ruffling his hair before you leave the kitchen, making your way to his bedroom with familiarity - like you’ve done it hundreds of times and perhaps you have if you were to count. 
You know where he keeps the towels, that it’s the left tap that opens the hot water, the way his soap smells and what brand of shampoo he uses. His face wash and moisturizer are familiar to you because it’s the same brand you use. You’d left them here once and never got the bottles back. He began purchasing them after they ran out. 
You put on the same black Carhartt shirt you always do. It feels and smells the same. It makes you yearn and when you miss him, you smile in the comfort of knowing he’s in the kitchen, probably eating ramen from the pot as you take your sweet time in the bathroom. 
All clean and cozy, his house always being the perfect temperature with the add on warmth that swarms your insides at knowing you’re with him, you make your way back to the kitchen. He’s reaching for bowls, back to you and your voice startles him when you say,
“Don’t get dishes dirty, let’s eat from the pot.”
He turns to you, a boyish smile forming on his lips at the sight of you in his comfy, oversized shirt. He’s seen you in it more times than he can count but it still makes his insides tingle. Butterflies, dare he say, is what the sight gives him. 
“You sure?”
“Aren’t you? Afraid of exchanging saliva?” You poke your tongue at him and he grabs your wrist, pulling you swiftly towards him. 
“Not the funnest way we’ve exchanged juices, but it’ll do for now.”
“Juices.” Your nose scrunches at his words.
“Mm.”
He kisses you, ramen getting cold in the pot as your lips make him forget all about his hunger in the first place. Your stomach doesn’t, though. Interrupting your heated little moment yet again. 
“Feed me.”
“On your knees, then.” He teases, lips still on yours. 
“That sounds more like a treat than a threat.”
He smiles, passing you the chopsticks. “I knew you’d say that.”
“Am I that predictable?”
“With me. Yes. Just me.”
His words are selfish, of this much he’s aware. He knows exclusivity is too much to ask for. He knows the baggage he comes with and the hesitation that shines through your eyes whenever you find yourselves slipping into comfort and familiarity a little too much. How he can almost tell he’s about to go a season without you, just by this comfort alone. But he can’t help but want you, all to himself. He can’t help but say you’re his even if he’s just saying it. And when the smile on your lips meet your eyes in an almost nostalgic way, he knows you feel the same. 
“Yeah. I am.”
“I am with you, too.”
“I’d say I tried to talk myself out of texting you tonight, but I’d be lying.” Your chopsticks play with the noodles, eyes not meeting his. 
“Why would you talk yourself out of texting me?”
You shrug. 
“Don’t.” His voice is firm and your eyes finally look at his. “I’m always- I always want to see you, ___.”
“I know, it’s just- you know.” You say, and he does. He knows what you mean and he’s glad you don’t voice it because he doesn’t think he can bear the words that would only add insult to injury to the way your gaze falls, that spark threatening to dim its light.
“Yeah,” he gets closer, but it’s almost careful. His thumb caresses your cheek and you lean into his touch. “But you’re here now. I want you here now. Come back to me.”
You stare into his big eyes, smiling at him not because your heart isn’t breaking but because you wouldn’t dare break his with the reality of the situation. So you lie, but it holds truth. “I’m always with you.” 
As you two eat, in bursts of comfortable silences and mindless yet meaningful conversations, you start to get used to him again. You’re too tired to fight it, and when you welcome it, it’s sweet. 
~
The pot is empty, your bellies full. You lean against the counter as he puts you to date, catches you up on what his life has looked like for the past two months or so. Trips to L.A., New York, photoshoots, late nights in the recording studio, music videos, long flights and a Calvin Klein campaign you shamelessly admit to swoon over every time you pass by it. He asks about you and you keep your updates mostly work related. Long flights, long meetings, long days. Short bursts of inspiration and even shorter waves of motivation. You omit to tell him about the things you’re maybe not so proud of. The partying, the drinking on a wednesday night, the way your friends don’t feel like your friends anymore, more like acquaintances that keep you around when they deem convenient. You think his words could help, provide comfort and advice, but at the same time you fear the reality of the situation could burst the bubble of bliss you find yourself in right this moment. 
So you talk. You catch up. You play friends for a while, feel real mature when he shares snippets of his life that involve other people, other girls. People in his radar, his line of work, the love interest in his music video. Jungkook does, too. Feels like perhaps he’s come a long way when you tell him about trips you’ve taken with friends, new restaurants you’ve tried, galas he knows you haven’t attended alone. It’s all fine, it’s good. Total control of your feelings as you take each other in. 
Bam interrupts him mid-sentence, a sleepy whine in half protest he lets out as he walks inside the kitchen. 
“Aw, Jungkook,” you coo, “he’s sleepy.”
“Time for bed, Bamie?” He smiles, reaching down to scratch under his ears. “I’ll be right back.” 
“I’ll be here.” 
You smile, well aware that he keeps his dog bed in a cozy room in his house, quite literally puts him to bed every night. It makes you think about how good of a dad he’ll make one day, how much love is stored inside of him, how he likes to be needed and shows affection through acts of service. Your smile drops a bit, a feeling taking over you that you don’t like but have grown used to over the years. 
You snap out of it, busying yourself as you begin to tidy up the kitchen, sliding his pink rubber gloves over your hands before you start washing the single pot, knife and chopsticks he’d used to make you dinner. It doesn’t take him long to be back, though, walking back inside the kitchen and smiling at the sight before him. You hum a song he can’t make up, hips shimmying to the beat as you scrub the pot. Your shirt rides up a little and he cocks his head to the side, smiling at the way your underwear peeks from underneath the fabric. A black and lacy thong that has him nodding his head in boyish satisfaction. 
“You don’t have to do that,” he tells you, making you jump in place a bit at the sound of his voice.
You turn around, bringing a gloved finger to your lips as you shush him before you’re pointing it at the couch and shooing him away. “I’ll only be a second. Wait for me there.”
“‘Kay, boss.” He army salutes you, turning around and walking back to the couch, sitting down and sinking further into the cushions, legs spreading as he scrolls through his phone, a bit impatiently, missing you even though you’re so close. 
And to Jungkook’s great fortune, he doesn’t have to wait for much longer. Wrapping it up in the kitchen, you give it one last glance to make sure it’s back to its pristine state before you’re making your way towards him. He looks up at you, throwing his phone to the side and following you with his eyes, smiling when you’re in front of him.
“Thank you for dinner,” you say, voice sweet and low, eyes a bit hazy.
“Come here.” He takes your hand in his, pulling you closer to him, bottom lip getting caught between his teeth as you throw your legs at either side of him, straddling him. 
“I needed this,” you admit.
“Me too,” he breathes. “I’m glad you called.”
You pout, eyes looking up for a second as you ponder. “You called me.”
He chuckles, not a single ounce of desire to deny you. “I’m glad I called.”
You giggle, arms wrapping around his neck and fingers getting lost in his long hair. His head draws back as your nails massage his scalp gently and he relaxes at your touch, goosebumps adorning his skin. His hands travel under your shirt, promptly finding your hips, waist, and then threatening to go higher but Jungkook wants to take his time tonight. He wants to stay in the sweet state of wanting you for a bit longer. When his eyes are back on yours, you kiss him. He sighs against your lips, bringing you closer to him by the waist, letting his tongue taste your bottom lip before he’s tasting your mouth. It’s slow, a bit sloppy and lazy, holds the quality of anything that happens in the middle of the night, when no one’s watching and time stills for the two of you. 
“Your skin is so soft,” he says, lips still on yours. 
“It’s your body lotion.” You roll your hips over his, smiling when you pull a low groan straight out of him. 
“Yeah,” he says, hands traveling down before he’s squeezing your ass, guiding your hips into his. “You smell like me. I like it.”
“I like it, too.” Your words get caught up in a moan as the outline of his cock parts your slit perfectly. 
You pull away a bit hesitantly, hands coming to rest at his shoulders as your hips pick up the pace. You go slow but sink deeper into him with every roll of your lips, eyes never parting from his as you take in the way his face starts to contort in pleasure, mouth parting slightly as his breathing grows heavier, little grunts leaving his lips with every push and pull. His hands travel back down to your hips, squeezing a little at the soft flesh, guiding them as you move over his cock. He’s so hard, can feel you through the layers, can bet on the fact that you’re wet and pulsing for him right now. 
“That feels good,” he sighs, gaze dropping as he rides your shirt up a bit at the front. His eyes fixate on the way the thin, lacy fabric of your panties bunches up every time you throw your hips back. 
“Brings back memories,” you say, voice a bit shaky when a particular roll of your hips has the tip of his cock hitting right against your clit. 
Jungkook smiles, mind hazy but perfectly able to picture the memories you refer to. “Mhm,” he sighs, so entrapped by the feeling he swears he can feel you pulse against him. He likes the way you consume his senses. The way everything around him stills and all he can think about is you. His hands squeeze at the flesh on your hips before he says, “turn around, baby.”
“‘Kay.”
Jungkook feels the loss of your warmth as you stand up before him once again, smiling at him before you’re turning around and sitting on his lap. You press your back to his chest, letting your head fall to his shoulder, your lips meeting his cheek in an open mouth kiss. His hands travel up your body, palms closing around your tits, thumbs playing with your nipples over the thick fabric of your shirt. You circle your hips, chasing the same friction from before but it’s not enough in this position. You bring your body forward, hands resting on his thighs as you throw your ass back at him, your pussy perfectly aligned on top of his cock, making you both moan at the same time. Jungkook’s gaze drops to your ass, enthralled by the way he feels, by the way you look. He rides your shirt up your back, exposes you to him and it only eggs you on, moving against his cock at the perfect rhythm. 
He hooks a finger down the side of your panties, letting it travel down, smiling lazily at the way you trap his knuckles between your pussy and his cock, moaning as you grind on them. He can feel how wet you are, dripping for him already even though he hasn’t touched you yet. “Want my fingers, baby?”
“Yes, please,” you plead, voice shaky as you look back at him. 
He’d usually tease you, make you beg for it a little longer, but tonight Jungkook obliges. It’s been long – too long – and all he can think about is being inside you, feeling you around him, making you feel good. He takes his time simply so he can savor the moment. So he can memorize it well enough to store it somewhere inside of him, just in case it’s another three months until he sees you again. 
He pushes his middle and ring finger inside of you, hissing at your warmth, cock jumping inside his sweatpants in anticipation and a little big of neglect. You close your eyes, pleasure taking over you as he begins to thrust his fingers inside of you slowly, arching expertly every time they hit your g-spot. His free hand squeezes around your ass cheek, groaning when the hand that fucks into you pushes down on his cock, aiding at giving him some much needed friction. You feel lightheaded already, all-consumed in his hold as he takes over your every sense. Your body relaxes and you can feel the way your tummy tenses right away. 
“Fuck, I think I’m gonna cum,” your voice is faint but he hears you well enough. 
“Already? That was fast, baby.” You don’t miss the cocky tone his words hint at. 
“Shut up and don’t stop,” you say, looking back at him playfully. 
You see the way he smiles at you before his gaze is dropping back down, fingers moving expertly inside of you at the same pace, applying a bit more force as he pushes in, massaging that spot with the tip of his fingers. The added pressure has you mewling in no time, nails digging into his thighs, teeth biting at your bottom lip to ground you back into the moment as you let go. 
“Fuck,” he says as he feels you cum around his fingers, sweet moans filling the space around you and he so badly wishes he could look at your face right now. “Yeah, baby, that’s it.” He feels the way you contract around him, hips circling over his hand as you ride the waves of pleasure. 
You come down after a minute, mind still hazy as you fall back into him, lips finding his the moment he turns his head to the side. You kiss him, breathing into his mouth, smiling in your fucked out bliss. “That was so good.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” you say, pressing your forehead to his. “I need you to fuck me now.”
“Want it?” he asks, and you nod your head. “You can have it.” 
“Yeah, want it so bad, Jungkook.” Your voice is needy, holds a dreaminess to it that Jungkook doesn’t miss – one that makes him melt into your words, your touch, your lips as you kiss him again. 
Jungkook presses his hips into you, raising them a bit as he pushes his sweatpants down. You help him take them off, hand reaching back before you’re wrapping it around his cock. He’s hard and pulsing for you and if you weren’t pulsing for him, too, you’d probably want him in your mouth right this second. He feels heavy, big and thick in your hold, a grunt leaving his lips when your thumb circles around the head. You love how sensitive he is, how receptive. 
“Condom,” he says, before he runs out of blood in his brain and it all falls down to his cock. 
“In my bag,” you say, reaching to the side and pulling it towards you. You rummage around it for a second too long – a second that has Jungkook’s mind betraying him. He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. But nonetheless he can’t help but wonder where you’d be right now if he’d been asleep and hadn’t seen your text. Perhaps in the same position but with a stranger. Or maybe a stranger only to Jungkook. Perhaps he hadn’t been the only person you texted tonight. “Here you go, baby.” 
Your voice dismantles his worries and he’s warm again, all thoughts vanishing and it’s back to you and him. He leans forward, kissing your lips as he takes the condom from your hand. It makes you blush slightly, biting your lip in anticipation as you watch as he rips the foil of the packaging with his teeth. You watch the way he smirks as he rolls the condom on. 
“Why are you smiling?”
“Just thinking,” he says, smile growing wider, cheek dimples making him look cute but something about his voice begs to differ. 
You hum. “Thinking about what?”
He smiles. “July 14th, 2021.”
You both crack up, laughter filling the air the moment the words leave his mouth because of course you know what July 14th, 2021 meant. You’d been in a position very similar to this one, perhaps a bit more hazy minded, the true meaning of the heat of the moment finding you the minute you’d realized neither of you had a condom. You’d looked into each other’s eyes and made the silent agreement to be a little reckless and put a whole lot of trust on birth control and Jungkook’s pull out game. 
He said he’d never forget that day. 
“Long live, July 14th, 2021,” you say. 
“Shhh,” he says, squinting his eyes and bringing a finger to his mouth. “Don’t remind me.”
“You reminded yourself,” you bite back. “Now, can you fuck me? Pretty please.”
“Yeah, baby, come here.”
You push your ass back at him, looking at him from over your shoulder, biting your lip in anticipation as he strokes his cock once, twice, before he’s lining himself against your entrance. His hand comes to your hip, pulling you down towards him as you push him inside of you. You both sigh, moaning as he bottoms out, so deep and warm it has Jungkook throwing his head back against the couch, sinking further into it and pushing impossibly deeper into you. 
“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whimper, nails digging into his flesh. 
“Fuck me, baby,” he says, running a hand through his long hair. You nod, circling your hips a couple of times as you adjust to his size before you start moving your hips into him, ass bouncing with every push and pull. He hisses at the sight alone, bringing his hand down as he delivers a hard slap against your cheek, making you moan. “Shit, just like that. You’re so hot, ___.”
“Jungkook,” you whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” His eyes are back on yours, threatening to close in pleasure at the way your pussy feels around him. 
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, baby. So much.”
You fall into his chest, kissing him as he wraps his hand around your throat, not applying any pressure, just simply holding you. You gasp into his mouth when his other hand travels down and finds your clit, drawing lazy circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves. You whine and he moans when you move your hips to the rhythm of his touch.
“I don’t wanna be on top anymore,” you say, pouting into his lips, frowning when you feel his chest shake in laughter. 
“Of course you don’t.”
“I’m an awful top.”
“You’re not a top.”
“Hey, I was a good top that one time,” you protest.
“Mm, yeah, that was hot. You got all bossy on me.”
“Oh, but that’s regardless,” you tell him, pushing your lips into his once more and straightening your back, smiling as you look back at him. He wipes said smile off your face in a second, hand meeting your ass in another hard slap. 
“Stay there,” he says, holding firmly onto your hips. 
“Okay, daddy.” That earns you another slap, though you can’t say it wasn’t exactly the goal in mind. 
“Behave.”
Your face grows pliant as you nod at him and Jungkook has to fight to keep up the front because if he’s being honest, the sight alone drives him crazy, threatens to break him down completely and leave him a needy, whiny mess. He holds you in place, legs raising you up a bit before he starts pistoling his hips against you, fucking you hard and fast and even though you saw it coming, it still takes you by surprise. The force of his thrusts, how good he feels as the pain translates into pleasure, the noises he makes – it’s all too much but fuck, you don’t want him to ever stop. Your mouth parts in a silent moan, eyes closing as your face contorts in pleasure before the sensation ripples through you and you’re crying out. Your hand holds onto his arm and the firm grasp you have on it let’s him know.
“Fuck, I’m cummin,” you breathe out.
“Fuck yeah, baby. Cum all over my cock.”
“Oh my God,” you say, voice shaky and faint as you throw your body back into his. 
“Fuck, I love your pussy.”
“I love your cock,” you say, fucked out giggles escaping your lips. 
It takes you both a minute to steady your breathing and regain your strength. Jungkook kisses your neck, snaking a hand inside your shirt and squeezing your boob as you arch your back at the feel. “Let’s get you to bed, princess.”
“Music to my ears,” you say, giddy and excited. 
Your knees buckle a bit when your feet touch the floor, the both of you laughing at your loss of balance, Jungkook a bit more cockily than you. He slaps your ass softly once, then twice as you begin to walk towards his bedroom. Once inside he takes his shirt off and when you turn around, your eyes scan over his body, metaphorically and possibly physically drooling over him. Your hands find the hem of your t-shirt before you’re pulling it off your body and tossing it aside until it’s landing on top of his. Your tits bounce as you do, and he nods his head at you, a satisfied pout adorning his lips. The pout turns sour the moment you turn around but is soon enough replaced with a smile when you start to crawl on top of his big mattress, finding the perfect spot over his pillows and laying down comfortably. 
“You’re so perfect.” Jungkook says, because anything else would downplay it and he’s not in the mood to run away from the truth. You giggle, soft and sweet and he feels the way his heart aches for you inside his chest. 
“Come to me,” you say, arms outstretched towards him. He makes his way to you, letting himself hover over you for a minute as he takes you in before he’s falling perfectly between your legs. You kiss him, letting your fingers get lost in his hair, breathing into the kiss and you swear this moment is laced in pure, unadulterated bliss. “Want to feel you inside me.”
“I’ll give it to you, baby. I’ll give you anything you want.”
There it is, yet again, and without a fail. It’s so common you nearly miss it – the way the moment turns tender. It’s mostly soft, this unspoken agreement you’ve fallen into with Jungkook. It’s friendship and attraction, good sex and years of exploring each other. It’s trust and communication. It’s understanding. It’s soft at the beginning and tender halfway through. It’s so tender it feels tangible, like the moment itself could fit inside the palm of your hand and feel ripe to the touch as you hold onto it. It’s tender when he looks into your eyes, it’s tender when his voice says your name, when you kiss his lips. It’s tender when the lust borders on something else. It’s tender when it lingers, when it threatens to fall. 
He fucks you, hips moving against yours slowly, pulling moans out of your lips that get caught between his own when he kisses you. 
“You feel so good,” you whisper into his mouth, words that only he could hear even if it weren’t just the two of you. 
“Fuck, baby, so do you,” he whines, supple and yours, even if for that moment. “I’m not gonna last much longer.”
You smile, hand running through his hair before your fingers are pushing a strand behind his hear. “Cum for me, Kookie. Wanna feel you cum for me.”
Your words throw him over the edge, falling blissfully into you. It feels so fucking good. Your fingers running through his hair, down his neck and then back up again. The way your pussy clenches around him, cock throbbing for you at the wake of his release. Your lips are soft and the rise and fall of your chest falls into perfect sync with his. His hand squeezes at your breast before it’s traveling down your body, squeezing at your thigh before you’re wrapping your legs around his waist, flushed to him. Every little thing you do heightens his senses until all he can breathe, think and feel is you. His face falls down the crook of your neck and you breathe out a moan into his ear, unraveling him completely.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby.” His hips slow down before they still completely, a moan passing his lips as he releases into the condom, your nails softly running down his spine. His body feels spent but he doesn’t miss the way it relaxes on top of you, blissful and peaceful, growing sleepy right away. 
“Feel good?” you ask, your fingertips running down his back in what feels like a feathery whisper. 
“So fucking good,” he mumbles against the skin of your shoulder before his eyes are finding yours again. He kisses you. He kisses you because in moments like this he wants to say something else, something that makes more sense to his heart than anything his brain could say.
You kiss him back, afraid your heart will betray you, too. 
~
You stare at him as you make your way back to his bed. He lays on his tummy, cheek pressed against the soft pillow, his pretty hair framing his face in a way that makes him look dreamlike. He doesn’t move an inch when you pull back the covers, if only for a second, to get back in bed with him. You lay on your side, eyes still fixed on him and your heart grows a new kind of tender at the sight of his sleeping form. He’s pouty and soft and so, so peaceful. Something sinks in your tummy, but it’s not in a way that signals bad news. Perhaps it’s the butterflies settling, perhaps the heat of the moment has began to cool down. 
Your hand comes to his face, fingers gently pushing his hair out of his eyes before you let them wander down his face. His cheeks are soft, his ears cold and when it tickles, he frowns. Your thumb travels up again, smoothing his brow bone and he relaxes. Your eyes follow your touch as you trace the bridge of his nose, slowly, softly, as if you were being quizzed on it later. Wanting to take everything in, afraid that even blinking could take away from the moment. And when your finger lands on his lips, you trace that too the way your own did only minutes prior. 
His eyes begin to flutter, a failed attempt to open them but you know he’s partially awake from the smile that pulls at his lips. You feel it on your finger before your eyes meet his gesture and when they do, you close them instinctively, leaning over and kissing him. His body can’t respond to his brain right now, exhausted and more asleep than he is awake, but he hums in satisfaction, lips puckering as he tries to give into his instincts. 
“Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow,” he mumbles against your lips. “I’ll go buy honey and make you pancakes.” 
You smile, though he can’t see, and perhaps it’s for the best. Your voice is a whisper when you say, “deal.”
His smile is the last thing you see before you fall asleep.
~
2K notes · View notes
cobaltperun · 5 months ago
Text
Eternal Flame - Runaway Train
Tumblr media
Jenna Ortega x female Reader
Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.
Spotify playlist
Masterlist / Next part
Word count: 6.2k
-You were there like a slow torch burning, I was a key that could use a little turning-
“The world still sucks!” the shout woke you up, but your doors being slammed open made you jump to your feet from the couch. Somehow even in your confused state you managed to recognize the voice of your best friend and self-appointed back-up manager for your career that would soon be restarted. At least according to Barbara, the same girl that just burst through your front door like she owned the place.
“So does your ability to knock,” you complained, reaching up to fix your bed hair, just fixing whatever you could with your fingers. You ended up falling asleep on the couch while reading through some scripts Barbara managed to get for you. Asshole. Sending e-mails in your name.
You didn’t have to look at her to know she just rolled her eyes and sat down on your couch. Flipping through the script parts you received. “Don’t pretend you’re getting something from the kitchen!” she called you out on your habit the moment you went toward the kitchen, and you winced, sometimes hating how well she knew you. You still poured yourself a glass of apple juice. “At least bring me a glass too,” you winced again at that.
“If you can barge into my apartment, you can get it yourself,” you grumbled, still feeling sleepy. You should have made a coffee, or tea, or something that would wake you up. You went back to the couch and sat down next to Barbara, smirking slightly as she tried her best to glare at you. You even made a show out of slowly sipping on the apple juice, just to see her pout.
“Mean,” she complained and looked away. You had to admit it was a cute pout. Barbara was beautiful, you were more than aware of that. A bit above average in height, just over 5 foot 6, she had a beautiful face, striking blue eyes, and blonde hair as straight as she was, which was a 100%, not a single atom in her body was attracted to anyone that wasn’t a man.
“You love it, babe,” you still teased one another every now and then. Even if she wasn’t straight there was no way you could ever see her as anything but your best friend. The teasing was just there for light-hearted fun.
Barbara hummed and suddenly tried to grab your glass, only for you to lift it out of her reach. “You have no heart,” she sighed and gave up on drinking the apple juice unless she got up, and you knew her pride wouldn’t let her do it. “Did anything catch your eye?” she asked, pointing a finger at the scripts.
“I dunno. How did you even get this many scripts?” there were four scripts in total. There was one for psychological thriller that would require you to go to Italy, one for a superhero movie, one for a reboot of the Scream franchise and finally for a pilot episode for TV drama.
Barbara shrugged and patted you on the back. “The comeback of a child star that won several awards and was nominated for a bunch for her first and only role? You’d be surprised how effective that pitch is,” she laughed as you facepalmed.
“You… I’m not even going to say anything,” you sighed, glancing through the window. You weren’t sure how it happened, you just auditioned because it seemed fun and Barbara dared you to do it, and then you ended up getting the role, got the taste of the industry, the work and dedication it took and just figured you didn’t want to spend your childhood like that. But now, close to turning twenty, you figured you might give it a shot again. Even if you were still a bit reluctant to go back to that world.
It wasn’t the work, you could do it now. But now that it’s been several years since your movie came out in 2017 and even more years since you filmed it back in 2013 and 2014, you found it difficult to motivate yourself to give it a shot. After all, how do you follow the success of it?
You didn’t notice Barbara’s eyes softening. “You worry too much,” she pointed out nudged you lightly.
You couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yeah,” you went and picked up the script for Scream. “I think this should be fun, though going to Italy could be fun as well, and it’s a good story, dark, but good,” you narrowed it down to two choices and took your phone. You had some calls to make. Not before you went and brought a glass of apple juice for Barbara though.
~X~
The August heat in Los Angeles wasn’t something you liked experiencing, especially when you were already feeling quite nervous standing in front of the building where Radio Silence Production office was. ‘Get it together, you know how these go,’ you berated yourself, you had a successful movie behind you, granted, you weren’t the one responsible for the success. And you had your current job, if this failed you were perfectly comfortable with not being an actress.
Even if Barbara would get on your nerves for it for the rest of your life.
You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, the role was actually perfect for you, as if written with you in mind. About as close to action as you figured most horror movies would get you, and your proficiency with martial arts was a huge bonus when combined with physically fitting the description of your character. You were a bit taller, but everything else fit well enough.
A bit too well in some ways. But first you needed to go through the chemistry testing with the actress they were considering for the role of Tara Carpenter, your love interest and the character around who the entire plot would revolve in some ways, since she was the sister of the main character and the victim of the first attack, setting everything in motion. Tara was to be the glue for the new main trio of her, her sister and your character, and from what you heard the actress, Jenna Ortega, already did an amazing job with the actress cast to play Sam Carpenter.
With another deep breath you went inside the building. The air conditioning immediately provided you with a much-needed relief as you made your way up the stairs, ignoring the elevator that was right there. A minute or two later you were in front of the office doors. You knocked twice and the door opened, revealing one of the directors of the movie, Matt.
“Come in, come in,” he certainly looked excited as he ushered you inside, you were ten minutes early, but it was clear you were the last one to arrive.
“Damn, should have gotten here earlier,” you rubbed the back of your neck uncomfortably, being the last to arrive, even if you did come here earlier than expected, was never fun.
“It’s all good, I was just telling Jenna about the scene the two of you will do together,” Matt motioned toward a beautiful girl that looked like she was one or maybe two years younger than you, dressed perfectly between casual and professional, and that seemed a bit familiar, but you couldn’t quite remember where you’ve seen her before.
You looked to the side as you tried to remember where you knew her from. She was sitting next to an older woman, you guessed mid or late forties, that looked a lot like her, so you assumed it was her mother.
“That’s a relief,” you approached the girl and offered your hand to her. “Y/N L/N, nice to meet you,” you smiled, too late realizing the mask hid your smile, as she stood up and accepted the handshake.
“I’m Jenna Ortega, pleasure to meet you too,” her handshake was firm, but even more than that, her voice finally made it click where you knew her from. They would really be dumb if they didn’t hire her, considering just how amazing she was in You season 2.
You nodded as Jenna sat down and offered your hand to the woman next to her as well. “Y/N.”
“Natalie, nice to meet you,” the woman nodded as well and you turned back to Jenna as you sat down on a chair to her left, with a seat between the two of you.
“You, right? Season 2?” you were about ninety nine percent sure you got it right. The emotional scene she had in the season was the highlight of it for you and it was mind blowing for you that she was basically still a child when she filmed it.
Her eyes widened and you winced, fearing you made her uncomfortable, but she recovered quickly and nodded. “Yes, thank you, I mean,” she buried her face in her hands. “God,” she whispered, clearly embarrassed.
“No, it’s all good, I was about to say you were great,” you tried, you really did, to salvage the first meeting, but when she still looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her to save her from embarrassment, you were kind of lost and unsure of what to do. Luckily, you were saved by Matt.
He faked a cough and gave you the scene you were meant to do with Jenna. It was one of the two scenes you did for your audition, the first being a bit of the action scene, just so they could be sure you were fit for the physical side of the role. As if working at the gym and teaching several martial arts classes wasn’t enough. “Jenna, Y/N, please move to the couch and the chair we set up, Jenna, you’re meant to start lying down, the relationship between your characters leans a lot on the touch, so do it as if you were filming the scene. Y/N, you’ve got water right behind you,” he instructed the two of you as you removed your masks and as if in an instant you saw a shift in Jenna, as if she was completely focused on the task, and nothing else mattered.
Matt, the other director Tyler, and several other people observed the two of you as you got into position.
“And action!” Tyler instructed you.
You sat, still, acting as if you were in deep thought, trying to get inside the mind of your character. It felt easy, natural, and you were reminded of just how much fun you had when acting before, and it felt so damn right to be doing it again. Even after all the time you spent resisting it once you had the chance to do it again it felt like all of that resistance vanished and you embraced the role. For your character the girl she was in love with just barely survived a vicious attack and she spent the last twelve hours sitting by the girl’s side, waiting for Tara to wake up,
Jenna groaned, and you jumped to your feet, but froze mid-step, your body filled with tension. You continued watching carefully as Jenna opened her eyes and as your eyes met you relaxed your posture.
She blinked a few times before she focused on you. “C/N,” she said your character’s name, prompting you to snap into action and fill a glass of water. You went back to Jenna, and she raised her neck, taking a few sips as you slowly tilted the glass for her.
“Easy, I got you,” you moved once more, kneeling on one knee next to the couch, your hand brushing against the back of Jenna’s right hand. She didn’t flinch away, but you saw the panic and fear in her eyes, and it took your breath away how into character she got. “Tara! Tara you’re safe!” you still moved, quickly reaching up to cradle her cheek. “Okay? You’re safe,” you softened the tone of your voice considerably, and the two of you remained like that, waiting for the slight pause in the scene to play out.
And then Jenna sobbed, with so much emotion you damn near felt the exact need to protect her your character felt for her character. “Please, don’t leave me,” her eyes filled with tears.
“I won’t. I swear I won’t,” you wiped her tears away, though it wasn’t a part of the script, you just felt like that was something your character would do, and much to your surprise Jenna actually leaned into your touch, playing along with your slightly improvisation.
“You promise?” she asked, her tone so vulnerable, filled with emotion and pushing you to be even better, to give even more of yourself. You felt it at that moment, the instant connection, the instant chemistry, the same way you did years ago with your co-star and semi-mentor.
“I promise. You’re stuck with me until you tell me to leave,” you smiled back as she smiled slightly.
“Could you help me sit up?” Jenna went on with the scene, and you nodded, helping her sit up with as much care as you could while getting into the position your character needed to be in. Jenna leaned the back of her head onto your left shoulder, and you opened your mouth, your eyes meeting hers. “Let me stay like this for a bit? Please?”
And it was truly an awkward position, but you hugged her from behind, your left arm just beneath her neck. “Is this okay?” you asked, and not just as your character. Sure, your characters were meant to be close, but you just met and more than anything you wanted her to be comfortable.
“Yeah,” she relaxed against you for a few moments. “Did they catch him?”
Everything was calm between the two of you. “Not as far as I know.”
Jenna turned, leaning closer and burying her face in the crook of your neck and you nearly flinched, as it wasn’t part of the script, though you couldn’t deny it did fit the description of the relationship between your characters. “I’m so scared C/N,” she whispered, her warm breath tickling your skin.
“I’m here. I won’t let it hurt you again,” you said, hugging her a bit tighter than before.
“Cut!” Matt exclaimed and the two of you separated immediately and you watched as Jenna slowly slipped out of character as she moved to sit on the couch with you. And then you both saw the approval on Matt and Tyler’s faces, which was a very good sign.
“Great you two! That was wonderful!” Tyler praised you and you turned to Jenna with a grin on your face, the previous embarrassment forgotten as you raised your hand for a high-five, which she accepted, her eyes shining with excitement, and a tiny bit of embarrassment over the praise.
You could see this movie meant a lot to her, and you were really happy you didn’t fuck it up, in fact, you were almost certain you’d be working together on it after a chemistry test this successful.
~X~
You let a few days pass, not really waiting for the call, but always keeping your phone close. Funnily enough you were in a similar position your character was in. You’ve been training, practicing various martial arts and you were at a bit of a crossroad, stuck between acting and pursuing a career in MMA. The only reason you didn’t try to be a professional MMA fighter was because Barbara and Tom, your actual manager, and most importantly Hugh, demanded that you at least give acting another shot before going down that path.
Getting a serious injury to the face and trying to restart your acting career wasn’t something anyone would advise you to do.
Still, you had a feeling you were forgetting something these past few days, like there was something you didn’t do and probably should have.
You just came out of the shower, fresh after an average solo training session, when you phone rang. It was Tim, and since he was calling, and he very rarely called, preferring to text instead, you figured it was either really good, or really bad news. “What’s up?” you asked as you walked over to your sofa and grabbed a TV remote. Might as well watch something to pass time.
“You might want to pack your bags,” he certainly sounded happy. “You’re heading to Wilmington, you got the role in Scream 5!” he exclaimed and you almost dropped your remote with how happy he sounded. “Welcome back to acting X-23,” he joked and you laughed at that.
The movie you did years ago, Logan. And the reason why no one really recognized you, they all thought you’d be much younger than you were. The truth was, you filmed Logan back in 2013 and the start of 2014, but since several X-Men movies were yet to be released and spacing them a bit made money, combined with the decision that Logan would be Hugh’s last time playing Wolverine the movie got pushed to 2017.
Still, it was one hell of a starting point.
You still rolled your eyes at that. “Looking forward to it,” and you did. If the chemistry test with Jenna was any indication you were in for a really good experience. “Well, better start packing,” you figured and said your goodbyes to your manager.
About an hour later you got a notification on your phone and glanced at it. It was simple, Jenna Ortega has requested to follow you from Instagram. Your eyes widened and you smacked your forehead, so that’s what you’ve been forgetting to do. Well, you did have a private account so- ah, what the hell, you were just looking for excuses as you quickly accepted the request and followed her back.
And so you sat back, wondering if you should send her a message, congratulate her on getting the role because you were a hundred percent sure she got it. Or if you should just say hi, or anything really, and as you sat there, looking at the empty messages and wondering what you should do while the music played on TV you saw Jenna typing.
“Shit!” you cursed and exited the messages as if having Jenna immediately see ‘seen’ on the message would mean being caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing. You lowered your phone onto the table and watched it like a hawk, resisting the temptation to see if she was still typing, but minutes later your screen didn’t light up and you raised an eyebrow at that. She changed her mind?
And now you felt guilty because it felt like you knew something you shouldn’t. So, swallowing your pride and ignoring the slight fear you decided to send her a message after all.
18:21 Y/N L/N: Hey, sorry you had to follow me first, I’m not really all that active here
There, you sent it, nice, simple message. Nothing to worry about.
18:22 Jenna Ortega: Hi! It’s fine, don’t worry about it! I was thinking, I mean if you don’t have anything planned, maybe you’d like to meet up and get to know each other over a lunch?
Your jaw dropped for a moment, but when you thought about it, it really was a logical move, you should spend some time together before acting as characters that were supposed to be best friends turned lovers.
18:23 Jenna Ortega: No pressure, I understand if you’re busy!
You bit the inside of your cheek at that, she was backtracking because you took too long too answer after reading the message.
18:23 Y/N L/N: I do want to meet up!
18:23 Y/N L/N: I was a bit surprised, but it makes sense. Where do you want to meet?
~X~
In the end you agreed to meet up in Los Angeles where Jenna was wrapping up filming another movie. You managed to resist Googling the younger girl, wanting to hear it from her instead of going in knowing things about her. But you did hear her name popping up every now and then, a young, extremely talented actress that wasn’t even eighteen, hard-working and wonderful to work with.
A child actress, you knew that much without having to search for information on the internet. She decided to do it, to basically sacrifice regular childhood in favor of going to work. You felt lots of things regarding that, but you wanted to get to know Jenna better before you decided which of those many feelings prevailed.
You stood near the doors of a small diner Jenna recommended to meet up at, waiting for her. You were a bit nervous and ended up arriving twenty minutes earlier than you agreed to meet up. You could have gone in, ordered a drink, found a way to pass time inside instead of out in the street, but you just simply didn’t. Instead, you opened your phone and began reading ‘The House of Voices’ the book the script that caught your interest was based on. You were still in the talks for that movie, and if you got the role filming wouldn’t start for some time, so there wouldn’t be a scheduling issue.
You still wanted to get familiar with the source material. And the book was good, so that was a bonus.
You barely read a couple of pages when the sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention and you looked to the side to see Jenna there, fifteen minutes early, dressed in a casual white T-shirt and plain jeans. Not a lot different from the casual clothes you chose to wear. “Hey,” you smiled, putting your phone away, only to realize you weren’t sure if you should offer her your hand or go for a hug.
Luckily, Jenna, either on purpose or by accident, solved that problem for you when she stopped forward, smiling shyly with arms spread slightly, inviting you in for a hug. “Thanks for agreeing to meet up,” she said as you hugged her. Her hold on you wasn’t too tight, but it wasn’t loose either, it wasn’t forced.
“Of course,” you replied and motioned toward the door when you separated. “Shall we?” you asked, making Jenna quickly nod. You smiled as she turned away, clearly more nervous than you anticipated she would be. You weren’t sure what about you caused her to be so nervous, but, you figured she just needed some time, so you let her lead the way into the diner and choosing seats near the corner, just to give both of you some extra privacy. Which wasn’t that difficult, seeing as the diner was almost empty. The soft melody of a violin playing seemed to soothe her as you both sat down.
“Did you wait for too long?” Jenna asked as you both got comfortable, the diner went for more casual and comfortable seating, going for sofas and lower tables instead of usual chairs.
You shook your head at that. “Just a few minutes, don’t worry about it,” especially since she came early as well.
Jenna nodded, not even bothering to hide the relief on her face as you said that. You decided even that early into knowing her, that she worried too much. You arrived early and you were aware that you were early. Any waiting that could have happened was on you.
A waitress approached the two of you and you both ordered, Jenna deciding on baked beans and you going for a risotto.
“Weather is much nicer here,” you suddenly said, glancing outside the window toward the clear sky before turning back to Jenna. “Denver’s been a bit cloudy these past few days,” you explained and watched as Jenna’s eyes widened a bit.
“You came here from Denver?” she asked, almost sounding astounded by that discovery. “I’m so sorry, I thought you’d still be in a hotel or something!” she quickly apologized, but you just shrugged.
“Hey, I accepted to come here, didn’t I? It’s all good,” you couldn’t do much more than just try and reassure her with your words.
Jenna just groaned and lowered her head. “It’s just, since so much is happening here I thought you’d be living close to here, make connections, make it easier to book auditions,” she explained and it made sense to you.
There was one thing she didn’t know though. “Oh, I’m not really working as an actress at the moment,” you admitted and were honestly a bit amused by how quickly she looked at you. “Well, I was, I did a movie as a child, figured I could wait until I grew up and now I’m sort of trying to get back in,” you summed it up.
Jenna nodded, looking a bit regretful when she heard you say that. “Sometimes I wish I made that choice too,” her eyes widened, as if she didn’t expect to reveal that. “I mean, I’m extremely lucky to be doing this, but there are some downsides.”
You could agree with that. You probably would have gone down the same path, if it wasn’t for one detail. “I nearly stayed as well, but then Hugh told me I didn’t have to rush it, that I should be a child first,” you explained, revealing bits about yourself that you didn’t usually speak about as easily as you did just now. You just felt like, since Jenna was so sincere, you owed her the same honesty.
The silence that followed was strangely comfortable, like two long-time friends just existing in each other’s company. Neither of you felt the need to rush the conversation. “So, horror?” you eventually broke the silence and started the conversation.
Jenna’s face immediately lit up with an almost child-like excitement and you leaned in subconsciously. “It’s just pure fun, you know. It’s this release, combining the thrill and fear, and everyone loves it. There’s passion, and deep understanding of what the story is supposed to be, that it isn’t meant to only provoke thoughts, but that it’s supposed to give people watching a relief from everyday worries, an escape of sorts. I, I think it ended up being an escape for me too,” she didn’t even seem to try to wipe off the grin on her face as you listened to her, completely focused on her words and soaking their meaning in. “Sorry, I’m rambling,” she apologized, blushing slightly as if she just caught herself doing it.
“Not at all. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it from that perspective, but I can see it,” the fact that more often than not the villain was much stronger than the hero just worked, just made it more engaging. “We are kinda breaking the rules with our characters, aren’t we?”
Jenna thought it over for a moment and then nodded. “Now that you mention it, yeah. Tara survives the opening, while the scene pays homage to the flawless opening of the original,” she took a sip of her drink, buying some time so she could collect her thoughts. “And your character feels stronger than Ghostface, to the point of fighting two on one and still having an upper hand until they take my character hostage,” she pointed out.
“You’ve been a fan of these movies for some time, I’m guessing,” you paused, watching her nod at that. “How do those things make you feel?” especially regarding your own character.
Jenna didn’t bother hiding it this time, she just fell silent, and you could see she was taking her time, figuring out the way to word her answer. “It’s fresh, risky, but fresh. Ghostface has always been just a regular human with a knife, it’s plausible that someone trained would beat them. And Tara surviving just needs to happen for the plot to happen, so, you know,” she finished kinda sheepishly and you nodded smiling as the two of you continued talking for hours after that.
~X~
When Jenna came back to her hotel room that night it was already close to midnight, and you met up just a bit after three o’clock! She leaned back against the door of her hotel room, not even aware of the smile on her face as she closed her eyes. She had to admit she was worried about spending a portion of her day off like this, but not only did she spent more time with you than she anticipated, but she didn’t regret it one bit.
She pulled her phone out of her purse for the first time in almost nine hours and immediately wished for ground to swallow her whole. All the excitement and fun of the day just vanished into thin air, replaced by anxiety squeezing at her heart. She couldn’t even count the number of missed calls and texts from her family and Enrique, as well as Maddie. She took a deep breath, calming down her anxiety and calling her mom. For a moment she considered calling Aliyah, and letting her spread the news that she was fine, but she knew she had to reassure her mom herself.
“Jenna Marie Ortega, you’ve shortened my life by a decade!” her mom immediately shouted, and Jenna honestly couldn’t blame her. When she met up with Maddie before the movie they met up early and while they spent more time together they separated at a much earlier hour. This time Jenna didn’t even consider taking the time to call anyone while she was with you.
“Sorry!” she quickly apologized. “I’m fine, I promise, we just lost track of time,” she said sheepishly. And you did, the diner closed at ten and you really should have gone separate ways at that point, but Jenna offered you a walk, which ended up taking you both to a park.
“God help me, Jenna,” her mom sighed, but she could hear the immeasurable relief in her mom’s voice, and her guilt seemed to increase tenfold due to that.
“If it makes you feel any better, she walked me back to the hotel,” Jenna offered, remembering how you insisted on walking her back to the hotel, refusing to let her walk alone this late at night, and promising you’d send her a message when you came back to your hotel room. You parted ways with a hug, firmer than the one you had when you met up. Longer as well.
“I’m guessing it went well?” as if the time she spent with you wasn’t the answer to that question already.
She smiled once more, remembering just how often you made her laugh today, how many times you made her feel heard and seen with each topic either of you started. Going back and forth, discussing different ideas, talking about childhood. She found out you were an only child, but not much else about your family. But you did tell her about your experience as a child actress for a bit. And only then did Jenna realize she forgot to ask which movie you were in. A question for another day, she supposed. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a good time,” she easily admitted, feeling excited to work with you and eventually get to know you even better.
Her mom softened up at that, there was no doubt about it. “I can hear it in your voice,” she pointed out. “Don’t stay up too late, okay? I’ll tell everyone you’re fine, I love you,” and Jenna was thankful for that, she really wanted to go to sleep as quickly as possible.
“Thanks mom, love you too,” she hung up and smiled when her phone buzzed again.
23:57 Y/N L/N: Safe and sound. Sleep well, Jen
Jen… She just now noticed that at some point during the day you began calling her by a nickname.
She was worried about Scream. She was worried about the opening scene, about living up to what they were trying to do, and she was still worried about that. But this, meeting up with you, it eased her bigger worries. You had a kiss together, you would be carrying her, not to mention all the scenes you’d have in bed, lying next to each other. So, she was worried about all of that, worried about not getting along with someone she’s supposed to film all those scenes with, to hug and be held, and to kiss with.
There was no need to worry about that. If today was any indication she would be more than comfortable with you on and off camera.
~X~
You arrived at the hotel a day before the shooting began, and you settled in, appreciating that the room had pretty much everything you would need. And though the hotel itself didn’t have a gym there was one nearby in case you felt the need, or more likely, had the time to get a workout in.
You sent Barbara and Tom a message, letting them know you arrived and that things were going well. There was no one else to contact, the directors knew you arrived, so you just pulled out the script you were given, the final script, and began reading through it. The role you got did, in fact, require at least the build of an MMA fighter, preferably with skills to back it up, you certainly had an intense action scene coming up.
What caught your attention was just how physical the relationship between your character and Jenna’s character was. In damn near every scene you read where your character was on screen Tara was also present, and every time there was some touch involved, be it holding hands or Tara leaning on C/N. So, they were absolutely right when they got Jenna and you to do chemistry read in person instead over Zoom or some other platform.
A knock on your doors made you set the script aside, about a third of the way read, and you got up to open the doors. The woman you saw in front of your doors looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful in person than in the Zoom meeting the entire cast had not too long ago.
“Hi, Melissa, right?” you still wanted to make sure.
Since her mask was hanging beneath her chin you saw the smile on her face. “Yeah, you’re Y/N?” you nodded at that. “Great, could you come with me to my room for a few minutes?” she asked, pointing behind her down and down the hall, and though you were a bit confused you nodded. She didn’t look like she came just to hang out or say hi.
“Of course,” with that you closed the doors behind you and followed Melissa through the halls. The hotel you were staying in had pictures hung on the walls, beautiful paintings, some abstract art, modern and more traditional, pretty much something for everyone, without a clear theme. Or, at least, you weren’t sure if there was a pattern. Granted, you just arrived and didn’t have time to observe it closely. Still, it was pleasant to see.
“So, I managed to find something out,” she said and you glanced toward her. “And I’ve been wondering if you’re interested in helping us out?” you still had no idea what she was talking about, but when you came into her room you found most of your costars close to you in age. Jasmin, Mason, Mikey, Jack, Dylan and Sonia were there.
“Hey there,” you raised your hand to greet them, though you definitely noticed Jenna wasn’t there. She probably didn’t arrive yet, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t really looking forward to seeing her again. “So, what’s up?”
“Jenna is turning eighteen on Sunday, so, would you like to help us make a bit of a party for her?” Melissa explained and you grinned.
“Count me in,” somehow the birthday dates never came up when you two hung out in Los Angeles, but you were more than happy to help with this. The time you spent with Jenna that day was easily one of the best days you had in a long time. You felt at ease, relaxed, there was no pressure, or any kind of judgment in her eyes. She was just accepting, a wonderful person and you couldn’t think of any you’d work on this movie with you’d rather do this for.
“Great, what can you do?” Mikey asked, and that got you thinking. What would be the best way to help with this surprise birthday party? Well, you knew your answer, the question was how much could you hide from Jenna?
“I can cook,” and that, funnily enough, got your costars laughing, after all that was one of the things your character did for a living.
Damn, now it felt a bit like the role was made for you, either way, you sat down and while Jenna was oblivious to what was happening in Melissa’s room all of you began making plans for Sunday.
A/N: I am still very much on the fence about this, but, here you go, the first chapter. Tell me what you think, and I dunno... Taglist? Yes? No?
Masterlist / Next part
388 notes · View notes
lady-pug · 14 days ago
Text
Written Between the Lines
Interlude - Meddling With Our Hearts
Summary: Five times someone interferes with yours and Aemond’s relationship and one time you decide to take the reins and shape your own fate.
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Word count: 6,9k
Warnings: canon-typical incest (uncle-niece)
Notes: Hello!! How have you all been? This one came out faster than I expected! Yay!
Okay, just to explain a few things, so this chapter is a bonus, non-chronological chapter in the story. It is separated into items, as it follows the ‘5+1 Things’ model, spanning across several years. In item 1, Reader and Aemond are very young, around 4 and 6 respectively (and Aegon is around 10), whereas items 2, 3, 4 and 5 are set after chapter 1 of this story (think episodes 6 and 7 of season 1). Lastly, the last item is set in the middle of chapter 2. 
I am having lots of fun writing for Aemond, so much so I have a few ideas for unrelated one-shots I plan on writing for him. Anyway, I really really hope you enjoy this!
Next chapter | Previous chapter | Masterlist | Read on AO3
Tumblr media
1. Aegon Targaryen
As young children, wherever Aemond Targaryen was you were never too far behind. As the eldest of Rhaenyra Targaryen’s children, you were often regarded as a possible successor of your mother’s to the title of the Realm’s Delight, being soft and sweet and so very beautiful even from such a young age. There was no shortage of people wanting to gaze upon you, spoil you with attention and possibly win over the favor of the heir to the Iron Throne after King Viserys I. But there was only ever one person whose attention you truly craved.
With the birth of your younger brother Jace and your mother’s pregnancy with yet another child, your parents’ attention was naturally split. It wasn’t to say they neglected you or favored your brother above you, oh no, but it was only natural that you were no longer their sole focus, even more fickle given their duties at court. Your father in particular, Ser Laenor, tried to give you as much attention as he possibly could, but even then that was restricted to specific times of the day, mostly at supper and after. It was an adjustment, for sure, and for a little while you resented your little brother, but you were quick to find another source of the attention you craved somewhere else: your uncle Aemond. You couldn’t possibly know why, nor had you ever thought about it, but you were drawn to him in ways you could not explain. And the feeling seemed to be mutual.
Aemond Targaryen, as the second son of King Viserys and his fourth child, was most often overlooked by many in court. He wasn’t Rhaenyra, who held their father’s unconditional love, or Aegon, who carried the title of his first male child, and matters were made worse by the fact that his dragon egg had yet to hatch, whereas Aegon’s had done so when he was still pretty young, and Helaena had quickly claimed Dreamfyre. Even his mother, who once doted on him like never before, had lessened her attention over him, as her fourth pregnancy progressed and her affection usually leaned more towards her only daughter. 
So when his little niece, barely old enough to attend lessons, had developed a fascination towards him and would often trail behind him wherever he went, he absolutely basked in the attention that was so freely given. You, who had no obligation to him other than to be cordial at best, gazing up at him with adoration in those innocent eyes made him cherish the moments you spend together.
It was only natural, then, that the two of you could often be found in each other’s presence. Whenever neither of you were having lessons and were left to your own devices, you seemed to always find each other, your tiny hand enveloped in Aemond’s not much bigger one as he pulled you behind him towards whatever destination he had in mind.
“Where we going, Aem?” your sweet voice, not yet able to properly speak his name, would often ask. The library, the dragonpit, the gardens, it didn’t truly matter as long as you were together.
Aem.
The nickname you had bestowed upon him was one of his deepest treasures. To everyone else he was either Aemond, son or brother, and two of these he had to share with other people, but to you, and to you alone, he was Aem. It was something so inherently his, something to share with you and only you. It reminded him of you, of the devotion and admiration you held for him, something no one else seemed to have for him, and he never wanted to let go of it.
But as he would be reminded time and time again he should never hope, nor should he wish for good things for himself, for they could be ripped from him at a moment’s notice.  
The day had started out like any other: after your lessons you had quickly scrambled out of your quarters to find Aemond and spend the day together. He had decided, then, to take you to the training grounds to watch some of the knights train.
“See that one over there?” he pointed to a man, just barely out of adolescence, training with Criston Cole “That is Ser Arryk. Or could he be Erryk? It matters not, either way, both of them are really good. Ser Criston is training them to be the newest members of the Kingsguard.”
“Wow.” you sounded from next to him, mesmerized by the clash of the swords.
“Impressive, hm?” he then pointed to another man who was supervising the training “Ser Criston, over there, he is the best knight in all the realms. I hope to train under him and be as good as he is one day.” 
He was eager to start training with the sword, like his older brother already did. His mother had promised him that he could start his own training after his next nameday, though it was still a few moons away, he was already eagerly waiting for that moment.
“You be amazing knight in future, Aem.” you turned towards him then, that look of pure reverence made warmth spread in his chest, for he felt your words were true.
“Aem?!” a familiar voice cackled behind the two of you, and Aemond could feel the cold dread seeping into his heart like it usually did when his brother decided to torment him.
Aegon marched over in your direction, almost an entire head taller than Aemond, and ruffled his younger brother’s hair with a tad more force than necessary.
“Oh, Aemy, you will be such an amazing knight one day.” he spoke in a poor imitation of your own voice, high pitched and overly sweet and dreamy. Your face was scrunched in anger and poorly contained humiliation, and had the two of you not been under scrutiny Aemond would have found it adorable.
“Aegon, stop it!” he tried defending the two of you but he couldn’t stop his own cheeks from lighting up in embarrassment.
“Aemy, oh, Aem. Perhaps our mothers will marry us off to one another and I can carry your children.” Aegon chuckled before flicking his brother on the forehead “You would surely want that, wouldn’t you, you twat?”
You couldn’t take it anymore. With a warcry unbefitting of a princess of the realm you delivered a sharp kick to Aegon’s shin, the only part of him you could really reach, before running off with tiny droplets streaming down your cheeks. Aemond tried going after you, holding your wrist, but you swatted his hand away and disappeared around the corner.
“She attacked me!” Aegon complained, voice strained from the intensity of the blow, utterly baffled at how something so small could carry so much strength.
“Oh, please!” Aemond pushed past his brother, annoyed, before stomping away towards his own quarters “It barely scratched. And you deserved it.”
For the next three days you ignored both of them, preferring to spend your days with Heleana. Whenever he asked about you, his mother would claim you didn’t wish for visitors and would rather stay in the company of your aunt. Aemond couldn’t deny that it stung, the only person he felt cared for him deeply, no longer wanting to spend time with him.
So he was overjoyed when, on the fourth day, you approached him as if nothing had ever happened, your expression light and smile bright as you held his hand.
“Where we going, uncle?” and his face fell, joy completely dissipating and giving way to sadness. 
You refused to call him by his previous nickname after that day, opting to refer to him only as ‘uncle’ going forward, and Aemond felt an overwhelming longing for things to go back to the way they were. He couldn’t help the resentment he felt towards Aegon for ruining what you had, for he felt it in his bones that things between the two of you would never truly be the same again.
2. Jason Lannister
You were bored out of your very mind at the moment. You had zoned out completely and could barely hear the incessant droning of Jason Lannister’s voice in the background as you reflected upon your life at the moment.
After that night in the bathtub where you shared your very first kiss with your uncle, you feared things between the two of you would change, and change for the worse. You didn’t want that, cherishing what you had with Aemond, even if it never went anywhere beyond friendship. But you needn’t have worried so much, for both of you seemed adamant in not ever speaking of that night ever again. It did sting a little if you were being honest with yourself, but you preferred that over ruining what you had.
So you were very much looking forward to spending a few hours with him before lunch when you were intercepted by Ser Jason Lannister.
“You look wonderful today, my princess.” the man had smiled down at you.
“Uh, thank you, my lord.” you answered, confused as to what he could possibly want.
“Why don’t you give me the pleasure of going on a stroll with me around the gardens?”
You didn’t know why he wanted to take a stroll with you of all people. And to be fair you didn’t want to spend more time than necessary in his presence. What you did want was to find Aemond and spend your day with him. But something, a strange sense of propriety and duty, held you back and you found yourself agreeing with his proposal.
That’s how you ended in the current situation, arm looped with his as he droned on and on and on about himself and his wealth and his castle and many other topics you couldn’t care less about. 
In your reverie you hadn’t even realized you had reached the training grounds until Aemond, who had just finished his training session with Ser Criston, smiled and waved at you as he was putting a wooden shield away. You were about to wave back when Ser Jason’s voice pulled your attention back to him once more.
“Well, princess, this is where we must part ways, unfortunately.” he gave a small bow of his head before letting go of your arm “The maesters say it is good to keep active, so I will go see if I can find a sparring partner.” 
You barely spared him a courtesy as Aemond was already by your side, ready to whisk you away.
“What was that all about?” he asked when you were already halfway to the library, a sense of unease pulling at his heartstrings once he remembered the way your arm was linked with the older lord.
“I do not know for sure.” you shrugged “I barely paid attention to what he was saying. Something about his riches I believe, we just went on a walk around the Keep.”
He laughed then, though it lacked any mirth, and his smile no longer reached his eyes.
“What is it?”
“You are so naïve, niece.” he explained.
“And why is that?” you questioned, feeling slightly offended.
“He wishes to court you.”
Your disgust at the thought must have been reflected very clearly upon your face, for he let out a full, genuine laugh this time.
“B-But- why?!” you tried collecting your thoughts, flabbergasted by such revelation “He is so…”
“Arrogant? Boring? Plain? All of the above?” Aemond completed for you, jesting at the situation.
“Old!” you whined and he laughed even harder at your expanse “I mean it! He is older than my own father!” you got closer to him to whisper conspiratorially at him “I heard he courted mother when she was looking for a husband, and he was already considered too old for her at the time.”
His laughter echoed around the halls, a few servants stopping to stare at the two of you, dumbfounded at the way you seemed to be able to bring the usually stoic prince out of his shell.
“But why does he wish to court me? Why not some other, older, lady?” you asked, still confused.
“Well, you are not just any lady, mandianna. You are a princess.” he explained, though his words seemed practiced, like they were reflections of not his own thoughts but those of other people “Any lord would jump at the opportunity to wed you. Chances are, in fact, that more suitors will start to flock around you for attention as you grow.”
“Ugh!” your shoulders slumped under the weight of your frustration “I do not wish to marry these lords!” you threw your hands up in exasperation “I just wish to spend my days with you and Helaena! Why can I not just marry you, then?!”
He felt a twinge too tight of happiness at the notion, but chose to ignore it and listen as you continued with your rant.
“If I were to marry one of these lords I would be miserable!”
His face softened in sympathy, remembering the conversation he overheard between his mother and grandsire regarding Aegon and Heleana’s betrothal. He felt pained for his sister, for he knew Aegon would not treat her how she deserved, and now he was seeing the same pattern with you.
“It is our duty, I fear, to find matches that best interest our House.” he spoke softly, but you turned towards him infuriated, and he feared he said the wrong thing.
“But I do not want to marry for duty!” his heart clenched in his chest as he noticed your eyes brimming with tears “I want a husband who loves and cares for me, like father and mother!”
He held back his tongue, knowing that speaking his mind about the kind of love between your parents, or lack thereof, would only upset you further. There was no denying that Ser Laenor cared deeply for Rhaenyra, just not in the way a husband should a wife.
The both of you stayed quiet for a moment, you simmering in your unsettled thoughts and him disappointed he couldn’t comfort you further, for this was something that was out of his hands.
“I would not mind, you know?” he heard you speak softly, turning his head to find you already looking at him.
“What?” 
“Marrying you.” you smiled softly at him “At least with you I would be content. I could see us being happy, even.”
Your words were a soothing balm over his heart, making it clench in his chest. He, too, did find the notion appealing, he could be happy with you, hells, you already made him happy.
“If it matters,” he spoke, trying to hide his true feelings behind a layer of nonchalance “I would not mind marrying you either.”
Your smile brightened then, and you bumped your shoulder with his.
“One can dream, right?” you giggled, before sighing once a servant came to fetch you to clean up before lunch, annoyed that your time with him had been cut short.
But as you walked away an idea formed in his mind, and with a determination he hadn’t felt in a really long time, he set off to find his half-sister.
3. Alicent Hightower
“No.” the Queen’s voice was harsh, and Aemond’s heart filled with dread as he peaked from his hiding place behind a pillar in her solar. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop but his traitorous heart was too anxious to wait.
“Come on, your grace.” Rhaenyra answered, clearly annoyed, a hand placed on her very pregnant stomach and another on her lower back, as if standing here arguing was bringing her physical discomfort “The boy came to me, begging for her hand in marriage, all that was left was for him to fall to his knees. She herself has asked about the possibility of marrying him once. They are the perfect match!”
After your conversation earlier that day, Aemond had set off to find Rhaenyra and ask, no, beg her to allow him to court and eventually marry you. She had laughed in his face, and he tried not to show how her dismissal wounded his pride, until her face softened once she realized he was serious. 
“Please, sister.” he had even stooped so low as to address their familial bond, no matter how sour the word tasted in his mouth “Allow me to marry her. As her husband, she would want for nothing, I would protect her with my very life. And I could even… make her happy.”
Rhaenyra’s face softened then, for the first time realizing how much her little brother truly cared for her daughter. She had known the two of you were close, but the depth of your feelings for one another was only now being revealed to her. So she promised him she would speak with his own mother, and if Alicent agreed, then so would she. Aemond’s heart had plummeted then, knowing it would be a lot harder getting through his mother. But he wouldn’t give up hope.
But hope, it seemed, was not enough.
“No, and my answer is final.” Alicent moved about, trying to get Rhaenyra to leave and go bother someone else.  
“Alicent,” even though she had her back towards him, Aemond could imagine the tick in his mother’s eye at the informal way Rhaenyra was addressing her “All I am asking is that you consider it.”
“Why do you even think they would be a good match for one another?”
“Oh, by the Gods, Alicent! Can you not see how much they care for each other? The amount of time they spend together? They are practically glued at the hip at this point!” Rhaenyra threw her hands up in exasperation, and Aemond could see yourself so perfectly in your mother’s image “I will just ask my father then.” 
“Do not entertain that idea even for a moment!” Alicent’s voice became shrill as she glared at her former friend “What is this even about, hm? Are you so afraid that child” and she pointed at Rhaneyra’s prominent bump “will be born sooner or later bearing a striking resemblance to a certain commander of the City Watch once more that you resort to this… this scheming? To secure your line of succession, is that it?”
Ouch. That was low, even for Alicent’s standards. 
Rhaenyra’s face hardened as she stepped closer to the Queen, and for a moment fear gripped Aemond’s heart that he was about to witness his mom get battered.
“My brother, your own son” she spat out, genuinely angry now “begged me to let him marry my daughter when they are older. He promised me he would be a good husband, and for once in my life I am inclined to believe him.” her face softened then, raising her hands as if to grab Alicent’s but let them drop, thinking better than to try and touch her “Please, your grace. If there is still any care left in your heart for the love we once held for one another, please let me do this for him.” 
Aemond waited with bated breath for his mother to say something, anything. For once in his life he allowed himself to hope; he’d give up everything, even his dream of having a dragon of his own, just so she’d say yes. But the longer she went without saying anything, the deeper the cracks in his heart became.
“I will not be able to change your mind, will I?” Rhaenyra asked, her face contorting in sympathy, and when Alicent shook her head, breaking his heart in a thousand tiny little pieces in the process, she sighed “Then I feel sorry for Aemond. For both of them.”
As Rhaenyra left the Queen’s solar, Aemond took his leave as well, his heart shattered and a weight heavy on his stomach, regretting even going to his half-sister in the first place. It seemed you and he could never be after all.
4. Rhaenyra Targaryen
Tears streamed down your face as you ran through the cold tunnels of Maegor’s Holdfast, not caring even for a moment that you were only dressed in a nightgown. The news you had just heard from your father regarding your mother’s decision weighed heavily in your heart, and you had to share them with your uncle immediately. It couldn’t wait until the morrow, because come first light you might be gone.
“Hells, niece, will you ever learn to knock?” Aemond had turned towards you once you barged inside his chambers through the secret door, freezing once he noticed the state you were in. He was in front of you in a second, holding your cheeks in his palms and forcing you to look at him “What happened?”
Even though his image was blurred by the tears that kept on rolling down your cheeks, barely noticing when he started collecting them with his thumbs, you could perfectly see the concern etched upon his features, and that was all it took for you to release the sobs you had been holding back, falling into his arms and hiccuping against his shoulder.
“Mandianna, what happened?!” he asked, holding your trembling figure in his arms and awkwardly trying to console you, running a gentle hand up and down your back. He had never seen you in such a state before, and he did not truly know how to help, much less without knowing the cause of your distress.
Once you had calmed down enough, your wails reduced to soft sniffles, you pulled back from him, running the back of your hand through your face to try and look more presentable.
“Mother has decided to move us to Dragonstone.”
Aemond’s breath hitched then.
“What?” he whispered, taking a step back from you.
“Father just told me. We are to leave King’s Landing come first light in the morrow.”
He felt his whole world crumbling before his very eyes then. He believed his heart could no longer face more damage, for it had already been broken when he overheard his mother and Rhaenyra’s conversation a sennight before, but he felt it shatter all over again at your words.
“C-Can you not stay behind?” With me?, he wanted to ask as his own eyes started filling with tears.
“I asked, but father says we are all to go. Me, Jace, Luke and baby Joffrey.”
His heart was beating widely in his chest, twisting painfully at the prospect of having to face everyday at court without you to keep him company, to keep him sane.
“We can write, of course, but-” you started, voice still trembling.
“It will not be the same.” he completed for you. 
It was true, wasn’t it? Things were about to change. On one hand he wouldn’t have to face the teasing from Jace and Luke, just Aegon, the main instigator. But on the other hand he would lose you, which was so much worse.
But then he noticed how your lower lip had started quivering again and realized he had put quite a lot of distance between the two of you. Not wanting you to jump to the wrong conclusions he crossed the space he had created and cupped your cheeks, looking sternly into your eyes.
“It does not change anything.” 
“Aemond-” you looked at him with sympathy and disbelief but he wasn’t having it.
“No. It does not change anything between us.” he spoke, determined “I will write to you every single day, and I expect a response every time. It will be like you never left. You can fly on dragonback and come visit. And when I get my dragon, I will visit you in return.”
Your smile, although tentative and still wobbly, returned to your face and he felt relief wash through him.
“You said so yourself, the lines promised me I will have a dragon.” he rejoiced at hearing you giggle “I have to make good use of them when time comes.”
A comfortable silence settled over the two of you. Something in your eye, glimmering with a blazing hope, compelled Aemond to lean forward, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as he took everything in.
“We will still be the same.” he felt you move, nodding against his head, never once moving away “We will still be us.” 
And even though, or perhaps exactly because neither of you could prevent the events that would unfold in the following weeks, both of you believed it with every ounce of your souls.
5. Aemond Targaryen 
“Aemond.” you knocked once more, your knuckles red and starting to ache from their incessant contact with the hard wood “Qȳbor, please open the door.”
He hadn’t left his temporary chambers in days, and no one would let you see him. After the whole ordeal with Vhagar and the fight between your two mothers in the grand hall at Driftmark after the loss of his eye, Aemond was whisked away to the quarters he was stationed at during his stay so the maesters could work properly on his wound and for him to sleep off the copious amounts of milk of the poppy he had been given.
Having talked to your brothers and cousins and understood what had gone down, you started feeling a tad guilty for the way you reacted to it. Yes, you were still hurt over what he had said about your brothers and, by extension, you. But at the same time you had let him go when he was the most vulnerable, he had just lost an eye for the Gods’ sake. And yet, even though you were hurting, so was he, he needed you and yet you let go and ran from him.
So you had decided you needed to talk. Perhaps, if you apologized for Luke’s actions and your own behavior, he’d offer an apology of his own, for calling your brothers bastards and for not extending Rhaena the courtesy of trying to claim her late mother’s dragon before him. Then, having cleared the air, you could move past this and go back to the way things were, with exchanged letters and promises of visiting one another. 
But your attempts seemed futile. There was always a guard stationed in front of his door, denying you entrance every single time you asked. Even though they were stern, hardened by their training, you tried using your authority as princess to order them to let you through, but to no such luck.
“Apologies, princess.” they would say, a smidge of sympathy and annoyance in their tone “The prince is to receive no visitors. Orders from her grace, the Queen.”
Panic was starting to grip at your heart, for your time was running out. Eventually, as soon as Aemond was recovered enough to travel, King Viserys and his family would leave Driftmark and return to King’s Landing. By then it would be too late. If you didn’t speak to him now, you would lose Aemond forever. That is, if you hadn’t already lost him for good. You had to speak to him, and it had to be soon, otherwise he’d leave and you would lose the one person you cared most in the world, who understood you like no one else, and would be left to drown in your own loneliness.
So you started scheming. You waited around the corridor of his chambers, waiting for rotation of the guard so you could catch his door unattended. You almost managed once, but Queen Alicent opened the door to exit the room, stopping dead in her tracks once she came face to face with you, about to knock.
“Your grace!” you were quick to recompose yourself “I came to visit the prince. I wish to see if he is faring well.”
You winced, instantly regretting your choice of words once her face hardened. Of course he wasn’t faring well, he just lost his bloody eye! 
“Aemond is not receiving any visitors.” her voice was harsh, and dread overcame you as she started to walk away.
“Wait!” she stopped but didn’t turn around to face you as you pleaded “I just- I just want to see him.”
When she did turn her features were laced with a combination of disdain and pity. It stirred something so deep inside you you almost recoiled and ran, but you decided to endure.
“He doesn’t wish to see anyone, princess.” she spoke, her tone stern yet motherly. But the implications of her words were not lost on you.
He doesn’t wish to see you.
It hurt, tears brimming in your eyes as you turned around and headed for your chambers.  
Did he truly not wish to see you? Or did he just wish for solitude, away from everyone? Could your friendship still be mended after both of you had been hurt like this? 
It didn’t matter, afterall, for you were determined to try until the very end.
That’s how you found yourself in front of his door, finally alone with him, having waited patiently for the guard’s rotation and making sure his mother wasn’t around. It was his final night in Driftmark before he was set to return to the capitol, and so this was your last, final chance to talk to him before that. 
There was a light flickering inside his chambers, visible from under the door, so you knew he likely wasn’t asleep, and when you had knocked for the first time, you heard a thud coming from inside, like he had bumped into some furniture, so you believed he had listened to you. But no matter how many times you knocked, he wouldn’t open it, nor give any indication that he was listening. 
“Aemond, please.” you tried again “Please, let us talk.”
The longer you went without an answer, the tighter the knot that was forming in your throat became. Growing desperate, you laid your forehead on the cold, damp wood.
“Please.” you breathed out, not even sure he could hear you now “Talk to me, Aemond. Please.”
For a moment, a short, passing moment, you heard a flutter of movement from inside the room. Your breath hitched, a tiny flicker of unadulterated hope burning in your chest that he had heard you and was coming to talk. But it was quickly snuffed out when you heard nothing else follow.
A deep ache took over your chest, like something had dug its claws in your heart and squeezed. The inevitability of it all, the looming sense of grief over something so close yet impossibly far, out of your grasp completely, clouded your mind and had your ears ringing.
“I am sorry.” you said, taking a step back and turning around to leave “For everything.”
As you walked away you couldn’t help but feel like a part of you was missing. For you had just lost him for good. Perhaps forever.
+1
As you brushed off your skirts, having been sat on the grass by the weirwood tree, you set off to find your mother, determination written across your features.
You nearly ran into Luke as you walked briskly, sending a thankful look to Rhaena as she helped you steady him.
“Where are you off to in such a rush?” Jace asked as he came up behind your brother at the same time you bypassed him and Baela and continued on your way. 
“To secure myself a husband!” you shouted over your shoulder, not even turning back around to address them. Now all that was left was to find your mother.
And search for her you did. It was imperative that you found her quickly, for you wanted to make sure you did this tonight. It had to be tonight. No one knew how much longer the King would live, and the moment he drew his final breath, a war would break out within your family. A war that would ravage all of the Seven Kingdoms. So you had to make sure that didn’t happen while your grandire was still alive and lucid enough to give you his full support.
But Rhaenyra was nowhere to be found. The Keep was huge and there was a probability that you were both on the move and simply never crossing paths. You even stumbled upon Helaena during your search as she tended to her youngest son, Maelor.
“Have you seen my mother, aunt?” you asked after a brief and sweet exchange, though you did not hug her like you would Baela and Rhaena, for you knew she did not like to be touched.
“I have not, niece.” she bounced baby Maelor in her arms as he cooed up at her “Why are you in such a haste to find her, if I might ask?”
“I have something of utmost importance to discuss with her.” you smirked as you added next, and by the glimmer in her eyes she understood the hidden meaning of your words “I believe I have found myself a suitable husband and must ask her to arrange our betrothal as soon as possible.”
“Oh!” she smiled brightly then “So we might be celebrating tonight.”
To your surprise and confusion, her smile faltered just a bit, her eyes becoming unfocused, before she smiled brightly again.
“With a union forged in fire and blood, the dragon’s nest is put to rest.”
You dared not question her, for Helaena often spoke in riddles, even in your youth. Biding her farewell you went back to your task. You didn’t have to search long though, for you quite literally bumped into your mother and Daemon right as you were turning down the corridor from Helaena’s chambers.
“Mother!” you exclaimed as you helped Daemon steady a once again very pregnant Rhaenyra “There you are!”
“You were looking for me, darling?” she asked.
“Yes.” you cleared your throat, squaring your shoulders “I wish for a husband.”
That seemed to take both of them by surprise, their eyes widening.
“O-Oh!” she smiled then, still confused where this was coming from “And did you have someone in mind?”
“I wish to take Aemond as my husband.” 
“Darling.” her face softened in pity as Daemon scoffed “You know the Queen would never allow this union.”
“That’s not all, mother. I think I may have found a way neither she nor the Hand could refuse.”
Rhaenyra and Daemon exchanged a curious glance with one another.
“Let us hear it then.” your step-father encouraged.
“I want Aemond as my husband.” you took a steadying breath, knowing you’d have to argue the next part “And I want him to be King.”
“Absolutely not!” was Daemon’s reaction, while your mother just looked… betrayed. And it broke your heart. You knew what she was thinking, she had just reaffirmed you as her heir, had to fight for it, and you now want to pass that off to someone else entirely?
“Please allow me to explain.”
“Why would you suggest such a thing?! To that cunt, of all people!” Daemon kept on raging, but his words were abruptly cut short as Rhaenyra raised her hand.
“Let her speak.” her tone was firm, and you knew you had to choose your next words carefully to plead your case.
“Word has come to me of a… plot against you as King Viserys’ heir.” her face twitched in anger for just a moment “The Queen and the Hand will try to instate Aegon as King once grandsire passes.”
“What is new?” Daemon laughed, incredulous.
“And the noble houses would back his claim.” you explained “Many will not recognize you as the legitimate heir-”
“But-” your mother tried cutting you off but you continued over her.
“-regardless of the oath they swore years ago. Simply because Aegon has a cock and you do not.” you hated how crass you sounded, but you had to get the point across “And then a bloody civil war would break out, for you would not let this go unpunished, am I wrong?” 
Rhaenyra pondered for a moment before nodding, and you took that as a sign to continue.
“A war between us, dragonlords, would absolutely decimate not only our House but also the realm. But a marriage alliance between me, your heir and future Queen, and my uncle might just make them give up on this quest.”
“Otto would never settle for his blood being just consort.” Daemon argued.
“That is why he would not be consort.” you smirked, the catch you were waiting to reveal slipping from your lips.
“You shouldn’t give up your claim and be consort either!” your mother exclaimed.
“I would not do such a thing. I would be the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.”
Both of them looked baffled.
“Now you have lost me.” she said.
“When the time comes, both me and Aemond would be crowned Queen and King, and we would rule together as equals. No consorts.”
Rhaenyra took a step back from surprise, and Daemon looked like he was told the realm’s funniest joke.
“You cannot be serious, tala!” he chuckled, but there was an undertone of disbelief to it.
“It could work.” your mother spoke to herself.
“Rhaenyra, you cannot be entertaining this ridiculous idea!” Daemon turned towards her then, wringing his hands as if to stop himself from grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking some sense into her “It is not tradition!”
“Fuck tradition!” you exclaimed a lot more harshly than you intended, and probably a lot harsher than it was appropriate. 
You took a deep breath, trying to calm down enough. 
“You being heir over Aegon already breaks tradition as it is. Like I said, many will not see you as legitimate. But even if they do, and you are able to rule, the same thing would happen to me and Jace. But will you make all the great houses swear another oath to you?” Rhaneyra understood where you were going with this “Having a husband to back me up as heir, to rule alongside me, would give me strength in my own claim. If you are already breaking traditions, what is one more, eh?”
“You might want to keep your voice down.” Daemon spoke lowly, and you noticed he was staring at someone “The walls have ears in this Keep.”
From the corner of your eye you saw a familiar figure, and in a moment of panic, grabbed your mother’s hand and pulled her towards the temporary chambers you were housed in. You did not want Aemond to overhear what you had to say, fearful that should anyone hear about this ahead of time it would all crumble to shambles. As Daemon joined you two, shortly after, you continued. 
“Please, please mother! Think about it. It might be the only way.”
Rhaenyra was silent. While Daemon looked vexed, but made no further complaints, she looked deep in thought. You knew she knew you were right. She just had to see it for herself.
“It would be easier to convince them if we had the King’s approval. That is why we need to do this tonight, at supper.”
Daemon bristled but didn’t say anything. Your mother on the other hand agreed, even if she believed this was all very rushed.
“Would you be happy though?” she then asked, and it was your turn to be surprised “Marrying Aemond? After everything that has happened?”
You looked between her and Daemon, and for once in your life you were certain of what you wanted.
“Aemond has always been kind to me. Or most of the time, at least.” you shrugged “I believe, with due time, we could put our differences aside and rebuild what we once had. Perhaps even learn to love each other.”
Again, you meant. Learn to love each other again. At least in your case.
“Then it is settled.” she looked determined “We will pitch this proposition tonight.”
A wave of relief washed over you. This could work, genuinely actually work. Perhaps it didn’t have to end in bloodshed like you believed it would. Maybe your family could be whole again. And all of that at the cost of marrying the one you had longed for deeply in your heart once.
“He asked for your hand once, you know.” Rhaenyra broke you out of your trance, a soft smile on her face and a far away look in her eyes, as if she was reminiscing on a fond memory. Daemon had left at some point, leaving you both alone to share this conversation, too deep and personal for anyone else to hear, in private “Right before we left for Dragonstone.”
Your heart clenched in your chest at the revelation. He had wished to marry you as well?
“He said he could make you happy. And I believed him.” she then looked at you, cupping your cheek as pride took over her smile “I believe it still.”
You grasped at her wrist, feeling warm at the love you could feel it emanating from her.
“If you believe you could be happy as well,” she continued “then you have my blessing. That is all I want.”
You nodded, blinking back tears.
“I do. I will be very happy.” 
She nodded then, pulling you into her arms. In the safety of your mother’s embrace, you finally let yourself relax. Your fate was yours to shape how you saw fit, and you intended to make the most of it.
And you would.
Tumblr media
High Valyrian translations: - mandianna - niece (older sister’s son or daughter) - qȳbor - uncle (mother’s younger brother) - tala - daughter (meant here affectionately, not by blood, as there are no terms for step-relative in High Valyrian)
Tag List:
@callsignwidow
@sleephereicome
@bitchassgoose
@voguiing
@dibutw
@fruityvampslayer
@garden-in-the-rain
@queen-of-elves
145 notes · View notes
fuckyeahizzyhands · 4 months ago
Text
Info compilation from the How To Fuck Off With Con O'Neill workshop :) ❤
Tumblr media
The online workshop took place June 29 2024 for LGBTQA+ charities :) ❤ you can see the more public part of it on youtube :).
Izzy and OFMD:
Con's start with Izzy: 'Izzy wasn't in the pilot episode of Our Flag. So when David approached me Izzy was just a thought, a husk yet to be formed. David said to me he saw him as a Salieri type character - the character from Amadeus, or Iago, a man in the shadows. And I agreed absolutely but also, I saw him as a man desperately, painfully in love, so his passion and his anger and his fear and his love all erupted in his expletives. I loved him from the off, I loved his directness, I loved his fearlessness, his pain, of course his fabulous use of profanities.'
Izzy swallows: At one time Con has a sip of water and then points at the glass of water and says, 'Izzy swallows. Still makes me laugh every time I hear that.' (There is a Izzy swallows t-shirt Con did for this charity :)))
Twat (doing the part of the workshop on 'fuck, shit and twat':) 'Now, 'twat' belongs to Izzy. Sometimes with an actor, you find a costume that fits you like a glove or something a line of dialogue opens the door to your character. For me, with Izzy, it was 'twat'. The first time I said it as Izzy it exploded in my fucking head. Because fundamentally Izzy is a twat man. [Con smiles widely] Also an ass man but that's a whole different workshop.'
Con improvised the rancid, syphilitic cunt: 'In Season One I was terrified about ad-libbing and improv which I've said many times. We had great writers and everything I needed was on the page. Except for the day 'daddy' came to visit. I have no idea where that line came from, no idea which part of my dark perverted psyche it interrupted from but as soon as it was out, it was out. In Season Two, again, everything I needed was on the page. Our writers are... were... are... will always be... spectacular. They gave Izzy such beautiful stuff and I will be forever grateful to them, to David Jenkins and the whole cast and crew, and to you lot for your continued support. But then towards the end of the shoot, we were filming the tavern scene with me and Erroll AKA Ricky. And it was the 'belonging to something' monologue, which was so beautifully writte it took my breath away. And we shot many, many takes and I was tired and emotional. And I knew we had it... nearly. There was something missing. There was a beat. A moment to end what was really Izzy's epitaph. And then our brilliant director Fernando came up to me and whispered in my ear, 'We'll do one more take. Let him go.', and we started the take and I could feel myself getting emotional. This was Izzy's big moment. It had to be right. It had to be right. And then as we reach this final line, instead of what was written, I heard Izzy say, 'And you are a rancid, syphilitic cunt.' And to my dying day I'll never understand how we got that on the Telly, but we did. Because sometimes in life, only a rancid, syphilitic cunt will suffice.'
What Con suprised the most in the OFMD fandom: 'The art. The art has blown my fucking mind. It blows my mind every day. What is nice... when you've been around as long as I have and you... you know, I love what I do and I am blessed to be able to do what I do and I have done it for a long time. And every now and then you get casted or you have the opportunity to play somebody who you fall in love with and that is not always the case by any means. But it's so gratifying when you fall in love with somebody who is complicated and difficult and flawed, when an audience also finds him and loves him. What was beautiful for me with Izzy is... Izzy is not easy to love and you all had to fight hard to love him. But it's worth it. Fundamentally what he is is an ally. Fundamentally what he is is what we have all been at one point in our lives. In love with somebody who doesn't love him back. And it's those flaws in his character that make him compelling and interesting. And the art is all about him, not about me. Very few people are drawing me which is fine but it's lovely to see the love for him, because I fell in love with him really quickly and I'm so delighted that people have fallen too. And some people hate him, but fuck it, what can you do? You know, the only way to get people to always love everyone you play is to play Santa Claus. And unless the Santa Claus is a big queer, fucking, leather-wearing fucking fucker then I am not interested in playing him.'
Con got hate on social media for playing Izzy - sb said that ppl loved Izzy earlier than Con thinks and Con said: 'I know that people did but I was getting quite a lot of hate on social media. But you know, fuck it. I am a big boy. I can take it.' (honestly, fuck those people, what person goes off spewing hate to an actor for playing a role, wtf?!)
Izzy is a great First Mate + how his meeting with Calico Jack went + why the whole thing with Stede and Blackbeard takes Izzy so much by surprise: 'Izzy is mathematically good at his job. He's a great first mate. And when he is asking anyone for help it's simplistic and straight to the point. There is no emotion. It's not: [subserviently] 'Can you do me a favour?' It's all straight down the line. It is unemotional. And that how he is with Jack, that is how he is with everyone. He's just... he's really fucking good at his job. You know, that's how he operates within the boundaries of his work. He is very unemotional. So he was very specific and very: ' This is what I need you to do. This is why I need you to do it. And you owe me.' Because everybody owes Izzy, because he's so good at is job. So... you know... it's... David and I spoke about that early on that he's just... the reason the whole thing takes izzy by surprise with Stede and Blackbeard is because he can't work out why Blackbeard would fall in love with THAT guy. Because that guy doesn't compute. He's crap at his job, he's a crap parent and he's bit of a... you know [waves hands] - it doesn't compute. So that's why he has such trouble with it. Because it just doesn't make sense. It does later. In Season 2. In Season 1: no, can't work it out. So yeah. Sorry there is no great reveal though, but yeah it's pretty much: 'This is what I want you to do and this is why I want you to do it.''
Con's personal thoughts how Ed and Izzy came to meet: 'They've known each other since the start. And I think they were young men together. And I think they were always kind of soulmates on that level. And that they've grown together as pirates. And the great understanding is Izzy is the best first mate ever. But he's not as good a captain as Blackbeard would be and he knows that. And Blackbeard knows that without Izzy he's not as good a pirate. So they've had that mutual respect. And everything else that happened... which is up for discussion as in the intimacy or the sex or whatever or the love or not love or the no sex or the whatever, that's all secondary to that relationship, the relationship is a work relationship. But they're pirates and everybody fucks on a pirate ship. Allegedly.'
Con's favourite scene to film in OFMD: 'Everything with Taika was just lovely. Because he's such a great scene partner. And his work is very similar to how I like to work so it was always joyful and easy, easy to work with. I really got to enjoy working with Rhys more and more and more, and the more our relationship became clearer, I really enjoyed working with him, and you know, and anything with the gang. Because they are such good actors those guys and girls and they thems. They're just... And I loved watching them, as well, I loved... because Izzy is a watcher. So I used to sit back in all those big group scenes be able to watch these truly gifted actors do their thing. And those of them that were brilliant at improvising were genuinely brilliant at improvising. That's not something I do very well so it was really inspiring to watch somebody deliver on levels of that brilliance. But my very favorite scene would be... would be the death scene. Because it felt... as a scene it felt perfect. On the level of Blackbeard and Izzy it just felt perfect to play. And I also enjoyed the 'Oh, daddy' scene because that was unexpected. To myself in that scene. And everyone else on the set it has to be said but the look of horror when that first came out of my mouth was kind of fun.'
This is Con's first experience with a fandom: 'I have never experienced a fandom before. Not by choice but I tend not to do the sort of shows that would l end themselves to fandoms. Above maybe Uncle? But Uncle kind of... people gravitated towards Uncle a long time after we finished it. And they only gravitated towards Uncle through Our Flag. It's not a choice that I don't do things that have the possibility of fandoms, it's just I've never considered it and then this came along.'
Izzy said he loves sb twice in his life: 'I think he said I love you twice in his life. Once to Blackbeard - and then he doesn't say, he says 'I have love for you'. And once to the other person who we will not talk about at this stage.'
Izzy + Stede in S2? - Question: 'Did you intentionally act maybe as if Izzy was kind of falling in love with Stede? Because we just get that vibe. It's like all this... there are so many pictures and little looks and it's fantastic.' --- Con: 'No. I think a lot of it is about a) Izzy seeing Stede becoming a better pirate. And also, I think my... I always loved working with Rhys but I thought Rhys exploded in Season 2. So I think possibly a lot of that is me not being able to hide my admiration of how Rhys grabbed it by its horns and smashed the fuck out of it in Season 2. Stede isn't Izzy's type, let's just leave it at that. I don't think. Now I'm sure people who ships Izzy and Stede together are going to hate that and I'm not saying that they don't, I'm just saying on the surface Stede is not Izzy's type. But he could have been... in the right circumstances.'
The most suprising inspirational thing that has happened to Con through his OFMD journey: 'The most inspirational thing was just working with a group of actors who was so comedically adept. And so supportive of those of us who weren't. And realizing that in comedy, it takes all different approaches. And you can be funny without being comedic. And that revelation was huge to me. It's something I've taken away. It's something I will absolutely endevour to include in my work from now on. Is that you don't have to be... you just have to be truthful. And if the moment is comedic then it is comedic. And that's what I've learned from Samson and... I think Samson is one of the best actors I've ever worked with. I think he's so deeply authentic. Nathan. Vico. Samba. Just really wonderfully talented organically funny people. And yeah that's what I learned, that you don't have to put on red nose and flippers to be funny.'
If he could spend a day with 1 member of the OFMD crew: 'Obviously Blackbeard is the obvious answer. But, I think, this might be a little provocative, but I think Izzy had a very soft spot for Nathan - Lucius. That grew and grew and grew. So if we're talking Season Two I would say Lucius. And Season One I would say thank Fang, beacause is his little buddy. But, yeah, I really like what developed between Lucius and Izzy.'
Con and Vico's hike: 'Come for a walk, they said. It will be lovely, they said. It's an hour, they said. Four fucking hours later, having climbed mountains and being attacked by eagles and sharks, we eventually ended up back in the place we started because Vico said they knew where we were going and they didn't. Also, Vico wanted me to take... I don't know if Vico ever said this but I'm gonna say it, once wwanted me to take film of them climbing down in rockface and they got so fucking freaked out halfway down, that they lost their cool. And now for Vico to lose cool it's pretty huge. I was laughing so much that the camera was shaking and they never posted that. There's a piece of footage of Vico rockclimbing, losing their cool and me just howling with laughter at the other side of the camera but the never printed it. But yeah, also it was... because I hadn't seen them for a while and Vico is one of my favourite people on the Earth. And it was lovely to spend that time with him even though I hated them because it was four hours.' (actually footage is here and photo here :D)
Izzy ship that Con would like to see more art of: 'I was always surprised it wasn't more of Izzy and Jim. For me, that is the kind of yin and yang of the same person I was very surprised that didn't make the top 10, really.' /fan comments on Izzy and Lucius and being closeted/ Con: 'I don't know if Izzy is so much closeted sexually, he's closeted emotionally. I think his leaning, sexual leaning as in attracts is towards the Blackbeards, the Jims, that kind of... [Con raises hands in fists]... kind of macho kind of thing... but we all have our softer moments so maybe Lucius is in there. I don't know. But the instinct would be... I would think more Jim and Izzy.'
If they had more time what scene he would like to have filmed: 'I would have liked more swordplay in Season Two as I enjoy doing it. And I like the idea of Jim and Izzy having a duel.'
Response from disabled fans about S2: 'Vastly positive. You know, it's always difficult to play somebody who becomes disabled because obviously, you're acting. And all I could do to qualify it was read up as much as I could on amputations at that time. And we... like for instance, there is a scene where I am putting out candles with the sword, and the original routine was much more fluid. And I had to sort of say my piece which was the leg would not have healed sufficiently for him to put enough weight on it to do these movements. And, so that's just one instance where you had to honour the situation rather than just be gung ho about it. But, yeah, I can't say I think we did well because that is not my call, but I never wanted to be blasé about it. So I did as much due diligence as I could do, within the confines of when I found out and the filming schedule.'
Izzy's motivation in the S1 Izzy provokes Ed scene: 'Do you know what? It's been a while. He wants to provoke Blackbeard into becoming Blackbeard again. That's what he wants to do and he succeeds because Ed grabs him by the throat, it's a violent act. And that's what Izzy's trying to achieve because he feels like Blackbeard has gone soft. And he achieves it. He achieves what he wants to achieve. And, it's the catalyst that brings Blackbeard into his other self. Shakes him out of Stede. So. Yeah. I mean, it's a really interesting question. I can't unpick it in the time we've got. As I always said about Izzy is complex as he's flawed. He's not always emotionally connected by any means. The only thing Izzy is absolutely clear about is his job. And this question is not just about his job, it's about his emotional connections. So that would take me more time and I'd have to rewatch the episodes because I've done a few things since, so it is not as clear to me, the motivation.'
Izzy's hair in Season 3: 'It was always work that decided about my hair. I've never been particularly interested in my hair. I've had my head shaved, I've had a perm, I've had it long, I've had extensions put in, it has been blonde, it's been red, it's been black, it's been gray, it's been peroxide, it's been a blah, but never from my choice. I would like to go white-gray though for something. I would like to try that. Because I'm going grey. That would have been Izzy's hair in Season Three. There's a little snippet.'
How much input Con had on Izzy's outfit: 'Overall, very little input into the outfit the costume. I'm very much a practical actor so if there's anything on the costume that if the character like Izzy is - he's a practical man - if there's anything on the costume that he wouldn't use, he wouldn't have it. So that was a little bit back-and-forth. But both designers of Season One and Season Two were brilliantly collaborative. And I think it's the best costume I've ever had and I am the only actor in the entire show whose costume never changed, apart from the last episode with the british army uniform. So yeah I feel that costume spoke volumes.'
Other:
5 fucks and 1 cunt: Con says that when he filmed Dancin' Thru the Dark (1990) one of the BBC execs said, 'As this is a BBC film, we're only allowed five 'fucks' and one 'cunt'.'
Con's tattoos: 'I do not have any tattoos but I'm gonna get one this year.'
How many doggos would Con have tf he had adequate space and resources: 'This one [Con's doggo Cooper] won't accept any other dogs. Because Cooper's a rescue dog from Hungary. And he was a feral dog for some time. And he's okay with dogs outside of the house but when any dog that comes into the house it's war. So I think once he goes to doggy heaven - which isn't gonna be for at least 50 years - we will... I've always liked the idea and I want - now that we got a house with a big garden - I want dogs. Ideally two. But probably ideally eight.'
Con's favourite movies: 'I'm a big shark movie nerd.' + 'I'm a horror guy.'
Tumblr media Tumblr media
238 notes · View notes
gammasnippets · 10 months ago
Text
[CHANNEL_9] fromis_9 '채널나인' EP58. Spotlighting🎬 Part.1
fromis_9 Lee Saerom, Song Hayoung, Jang Gyuri, Park Jiwon, Roh Jisun, Lee Seoyeon, Lee Chaeyoung, Lee Nagyung, Baek Jiheon
2,824 words (Unedited)
Tumblr media
It’s the year 2027.
With the immense attention social media content garners these days, K-pop groups must put out a lot of various kinds of content for their fans to stay in their boat. And as of late, some artists are even resorting to a more risqué and sexual form of media just to stay in the game. The morality and ethics of it is something that shouldn’t be scoffed at, as it has sparked controversy around the industry. Others are in favor of it, while some are against it.
But as time goes by, this venture becomes harder and harder to resist as more and more fans are eating all forms of content… Until their perception of it all becomes grayed out.
Being one of the industry's most revered groups, the members of fromis_9 are just some of the artists who started partaking in more provocative and sensual concepts for their content to provide fans with a more sensual form of fanservice. Their agency has always been reluctant to do so, as they had their reputation to keep up. But with many groups competing for the top spot, these nine girls have to “exploit” what assets they have to push themselves higher in the industry.
As the group delved deeper into this sensual rabbit hole, they made a variety of content that fans will surely go crazy about. From music videos that show their bodies in tight, revealing clothes, and a bunch of photoshoots that would make you blush with the sheer sensuality of the outfits and poses that they had, fromis_9 has gone to the world that only the most daring of groups would dare venture in. And being a part of a group of editors tasked to produce content like this, you often find yourself getting a lot of material to jerk off to from these girls.
To commemorate the group’s 10th anniversary, the company has planned a series of special videos featuring the girls for their ever-loyal fans. And after several passes and editing by the other editors, the videos finally came in your email, waiting for a final review to be conducted by no other than you. The pressure is high, as this could very well be the most successful video project yet. As the last editor to get the content, it's all up to you to give it the final touches and make these videos—12 in total— as flawless as possible. With tissues and lotion just within arm's reach, you start reviewing the footage.
You press play on the first video on the list and the unforgettable intro for their variety series “Channel_9” starts.
The episode begins as the camera shows a large studio complex, almost like the ones they have in other countries where they create live-action films and such, panning through the many large structures and beautiful gardenscapes scattered around the area. It then transitions to a drone shot, where the girls can be seen walking through the complex. They pass by large water fountains and flower patches, all the while showing how nice and beautiful the place is. All of them gasped in awe at the sight of the complex.
“This place looks like a big hotel. They could be hiding the rides in those buildings,” says Hayoung.
Seoyeon chuckles. “You mean a theme park?”
“Ah… Right,” she answers.
You can hear all the girls laughing at that short yet funny conversation.
“Unnie,” says Chaeyoung. “We just visited one recently and you still can’t forget about it.”
“That place was fun, though,” she retorts.
“Yeah. You’re right,” Saerom and Chaeyoung answer, almost in unison.
“Wish we can return to that place,” Jiheon tells everyone.
"Maybe the crew's planning to take us to a theme park," Jiwon tells the group as she looks at the cameraman with a smug look on her face.
Everyone giggles at that.
Gyuri then sighs. "There she goes again."
"Watch it get jinxed," Nagyung adds.
Seoyeon laughs out loud at that. "Her plans never work out."
"Ya!" Jiwon protests, "It'll work out this time. Just watch!"
She looks back at the camera again, nodding as if persuading them to agree with her.
However… She got silence for an answer.
Jiwon playfully sulks, making everyone laugh.
They continue to walk through the complex until they've reached the center of a huge courtyard, where the rest of the filming crew is waiting for them. As they are all getting into their respective positions, you see the members getting excited to start shooting the first episode.
"This will be exciting, hmmm?" Hayoung asks them, looking eager.
"I sure hope so," Jisun replies, smiling.
"Oh, me too," says Saerom.
One of the staff members then began to speak up.
"Hello, everyone," the staff member began, greeting them.
The group greeted her back in unison, bowing their heads.
"Welcome to the country's biggest filming facility," the staff member continued.
"Oh! So this is what it is!" Jiheon gasps.
The camera then pans out in a drone camera, giving the viewers another good look of the entire complex.
"This is probably where they filmed that one train movie I just watched," Chaeyoung says in excitement, her eyes sparkling in awe.
Suddenly, Hayoung yells.
"Ahh! Ahh!"
Everyone looks at her, shocked.
"What is it?" asks Saerom.
Hayoung, still looking shocked, excitedly points somewhere far.
"I… I've seen that bench from my favorite drama show!"
"Really?" Gyuri asks.
Hayoung nods.
The camera then pans over to a familiar bench that looks identical to the one in the show.
"It really does look like that one," Seoyeon says.
"Wow, unnie," Nagyung says. "You do know your stuff."
Hayoung smiles and gives her a thumbs-up.
"Anyway… We have prepared a series of challenges for all of you," the staff member resumes.
Oohs and ahhs can be heard from the girls.
“We call these Spotlighting Challenges.”
Another wave of amazement envelops the group.
Hayoung then raises her hand. “Spotlighting Challenge?”
The staff member nods. “These challenges refer to a study about how people behave differently when they are being watched—be it on camera or in the spotlight.”
Everyone nods at the given explanation.
“Ooh. So that’s why there’s ‘spotlight’ in the name,” Chaeyoung remarks, nodding her head.
“Yeah,” Jisun hears her and agrees. “But we’re definitely used to it by now, right?”
Chaeyoung nods back, laughing. “Yeah. This should be easy for us!”
"Every single challenge has different goals and rules to achieve,” the staff member follows up. “All of you must do your best to complete each challenge."
"I see…" Nagyung replies, attentively listening.
"So where are these challenges located?" Saerom asks.
"Each challenge is located at different areas within the complex. There are nine challenges—one for each member."
Everyone is shocked at the announcement.
"Woah! Nine?" Jiheon exclaims.
"Yes, each member has a unique challenge."
"Unique challenge?" Jiwon asks, her eyes wide in shock. "So we'll be alone?"
"Yes," the staff member nods her head. "These challenges can only be completed individually."
A sudden silence fills the air as they process the information.
"Jeez… This is going to be nerve-wracking," Gyuri mumbles, scratching her head.
"I feel the same," Jiheon tells her, her body shaking in nervousness.
"We know you girls will worry about not having each other by your side," the staff member tells them reassuringly. "But we believe in each of your skills and strengths."
"Thank you," Jisun bows, accepting the encouragement.
"Are the challenges going to be difficult?" Chaeyoung asks, curiously.
The staff member shrugs her shoulders and replies in a soft tone.
“Kinda…”
Everyone then lets out sighs and grunts at the answer.
“Oh dear. We’re done for,” Nagyung frowns.
"But we made each challenge doable for any member," the staff member explains.
Everyone responds with a mixture of relief and determination.
"Well that's good news," she says with a smile.
"I know right?" Jiwon replies, also relieved.
"These challenges will require all of you to be creative. So do your best," the staff member adds.
Those words piqued the girls' curiosity. Some of them begin thinking of what they could mean.
"Be creative, huh?" Saerom asks them, her tone doubtful.
The staff member nods. She follows up with the instructions with a smirk forming on her face.
"And maybe some of your… Physical skills."
A mischievous glint suddenly sparkles in the girls' eyes as they exchange knowing looks.
"Hmmm… I wonder how physical these challenges can get?" Jiwon mischievously suggests with a playful tone.
Her teasing remark sends a wave of laughter through the group, instantly lightening the tense atmosphere.
"Oh, boy. Jiwon's at it again," Hayoung chuckles at Jiwon's suggestive remark.
The group can't help but blush at the playful insinuation.
"Surely it's nothing like that… Right?" Chaeyoung asks, looking dumbfounded at the revelation of their challenges.
The staff member smiles knowingly, making the girls even more intrigued
"Oh, dear…" Jiheon whispers under her breath, her cheeks slowly blushing. "This is going to be interesting."
"Are we really going to do it? Here?" Jisun murmurs, sounding both nervous and excited.
"I guess so," Gyuri responds with a sly grin.
The girls look at each other once again, giggling, as if they're sharing a naughty secret only they know.
"But what do we get if we win?" Nagyung then asks, diverting the topic to their goal.
"We have prepared something for all of you if you win," the staff member replies. "Since there are nine of you, the group will need five members to successfully complete the challenges."
Everyone is intrigued, their curiosity piqued by the promise of a reward.
"What's the prize? Can we get a hint?" Saerom asks, sounding mischievously.
"Yeah! Tell us!" Jiwon follows up, yelling in excitement.
"Jeez, unnie. Tone it down," Chaeyoung playfully berates her.
"Well… Is there anything you girls like?" the staff member asks the group.
Some of the members start thinking of an answer, but the others already have their minds made up.
"An all-you-can-eat buffet!"
"A trip to a theme park!"
"Rent a cinema, maybe?"
"Ooh! Let's go overseas!"
Those are some of the answers the girls excitedly shout out, their enthusiasm shooting through the roof.
The entire staff bursts into laughter at their liveliness and shared excitement.
"I guess we'll have to discuss that later," the staff member says with a smile.
"Alright!" Hayoung replies, pumping her fist in the air.
"I'm actually kinda excited now," Gyuri admits, a joyous look on her face.
"Me too," Jisun adds.
"So please do your best, everyone," the staff member encourages.
Saerom nods, looking determined. "Of course."
The other members nod, too.
The rest of the staff then carries, in front of them, a ballot box. Colorful envelopes can be seen inside the transparent box.
"Wow! So pretty," Jiheon exclaims, her eyes gleaming with excitement.
"That's cute," Nagyung agrees, a smile forming on her face.
"Everyone, please take turns drawing an envelope," the staff member instructs, gesturing towards the box.
The girls eagerly step towards the box one by one, reaching into the ballot box. They then head back to their original spots, envelopes in hand, excitement radiating from each of them. Some are careful in picking their envelopes, while some are swift and waste no time… And some play around with their selection.
All the members seem eager to open the envelopes and reveal the contents. But everyone is waiting for a signal, patiently, as their anticipation builds.
"Please remember that you shouldn't reveal the contents of your envelopes to anyone," the staff member reminds them.
Everyone responds in affirmation as they grip their envelopes tightly, excitement and curiosity swirling in their eyes.
"Okay. You can open your envelopes now."
The members rip open their envelopes, their eyes meticulously scanning the contents.
"Oh. So this is just instructions to where we should head for," Chaeyoung asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
The staff member nods. "Yes. You will be informed about the challenge once you reach your designated location."
She nods back in understanding. "I see…"
"I hope the missions are fun!" Saerom exclaims with a grin on her face.
"I'm more hoping that they're easy," Gyuri chuckles, crossing her fingers.
"That too!" Saerom adds, laughing along with her.
"Ugh! I'm getting nervous!" Seoyeon whines, hopping from foot to foot.
"Pretty sure you can do it," Hayoung reassures her, giving Seoyeon a comforting pat on the back.
"How cute," Nagyung murmurs, giggling at the two.
"So, is everyone ready?"
Everyone responds in unison, their voices filled with anticipation.
"We're ready!"
"Yes!"
"Let's go!"
"The Spotlight Challenge has started! Again do your best, everyone!" the staff member announces as she cheers them on.
"Thank you!" In response, the girls bowed to everyone in gratitude.
Each member then reviewed their instructions and began looking around, figuring out where to go.
"Hmmm… I guess I should be going here," Jisun muses to herself, reading the directions on her instructions sheet as she walks off.
"Hey, unnie!" Jiheon calls out to her. "Are you going?"
Jisun turns around and nods. "Ah! Uhmm... Yes."
"Wait! I'm coming with you!" Jiheon decides, running up to join Jisun on their journey.
On the other hand, the rest of the group continued to figure out their destinations.
"Well… I think I'm heading this way," Seoyeon says, pointing opposite to Jisun's direction.
"You're heading there, too?" Hayoung asks her curiously, glancing at her own instructions.
Seoyeon just nods with a sheepish smile.
"Yay! Let's go together!" she excitedly screams as she hugs her.
"Hey! I’m also heading there too!" Nagyung adds, joining in on the hug.
As the trio embraced each other tightly, the remaining members were still working out the instructions given to them.
"If this is here, then…" Gyuri mumbles. "Then this one is… Hmmm…"
"I guess I should be going… This way?" Chaeyoung says, scratching her head in confusion as she tries to decipher the instructions.
"Huh? Chaeyoung-ah," Gyuri calls out.
"Yes, unnie?"
"Are you leaving already?"
"Yeah, I think so," Chaeyoung responds, looking unsure.
"Okay. Do your best, then!" she encourages her, waving her hand at her.
"Will do! Thank you!" Chaeyoung replies cheerfully, waving back at Gyuri. "See you later!"
Suddenly, Jiwon appears behind her, as if peeking at her unnie's instructions. Gyuri quickly spots her and hides her envelope, giving Jiwon a playful glare.
"What are you doing?" the older girl asks, pretending to be annoyed.
"What?" Jiwon acts coy, smiling as if she's innocent. "I'm doing nothing?"
"You aren't supposed to peek at my directions," Gyuri scolds her, wagging her finger at Jiwon.
"No, I'm not," she continues her innocent act, blinking her eyes innocently at Gyuri.
But Gyuri sees through her act and playfully pinches Jiwon's cheek.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Unnie!" Jiwon yelps as she feigns pain.
"Come on now, don't be sneaky," she says with a smirk.
"I'm not! Really!" Jiwon insists, rubbing her cheek dramatically.
Gyuri chuckles. "Alright. Where are you heading?"
"I'm heading that way," she points to the huge building behind the filming crew.
"Ooh. That looks big."
"I bet that's the main building."
"Seems like it. Yeah."
Suddenly, Saerom spots the two, approaches them, and joins in on the conversation.
"So, where are you going?" she asks.
Gyuri is the first to answer, pondering her options.
"I think I'll head to that building and ask around," she says, pointing to the same building Jiwon had mentioned earlier.
"Me too," Jiwon adds, nodding in agreement. "I think my challenge is somewhere in that building."
"I see…" Saerom replies, nodding at their answers.
"So where will you go?" asks Jiwon.
"Me?"
The two other girls nod expectantly.
"Same as you two. To that building," Saerom answers, confirming their choice.
"Oh. Then we all should go together," Gyuri suggests with a smile.
"Yes! Let's all go!" Jiwon exclaims excitedly, grabbing onto Gyuri and Saerom's arms.
Now with all the nine members of fromis_9 walking off in different directions, the view then shifts to a drone shot, showing the immense size of the complex, before showing a slo-mo view from each camera team that follows every member towards their respective destinations. Nervousness and excitement can be read on their faces, adding anticipation for the upcoming events.
All of a sudden, a brief montage teasing the future episodes plays. It showcases the members meeting new people, strategizing for their challenges, and lots of pure, unadulterated sex—the girls letting out screams and moans no one has probably heard. Your heart skips a beat as you process what you just saw. Doing sexy projects might not be new to them at this point, but nothing that's as bold and intense as this is.
You can't deny the creeping sense of unease that you're suddenly feeling. Yet, at the same time, it's an undeniable fact that you are getting excited and eager to see more.
Finally, the screen fades out, leaving you excited to review all of fromis_9's thrilling new series.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Author’s Notes:
I'm back... I guess? 😅 I apologize for the sudden absence that took more than a year. I left everyone without saying a word. And with that, I would like to make up with a huge series starring all of fromis_9.
Yes. Including Gyuri. 🍊
As ambitious as this might be, and given the fact that I'm not the most creative writer with the most amount of creative juice there is, I'm gonna try and sprinkle a few other stories featuring other idols in between... Just to add variety, and to not bore myself (and everyone) with just one group.
And, yes. I know. I still have 6 more Girls' Generations to write a story about. We'll get there when we get there, okay? It'll happen... When it happens. 😂
A huge thanks to @braaan for the poster! You are too kind. 🫂
And with that, thank you very much for reading! 🙇
469 notes · View notes
jiniretracha · 3 months ago
Text
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐲 - Jeon Jungkook (1)
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader / Park Jimin x fem!reader (but not quite, you'll see)
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Future smut
Summary: You were supposed to spend your happily ever after with Jeon Jungkook... until a family issue causes him to leave and a sudden break up leaves you bereft in the arms of your best friend, Park Jimin.
Word count: 6.7k
PS: this is heavily entirely inspired in the last two episode of True Beauty (so consider this a huge spoiler if you haven't seen it) cause i've been a fan of it since it came out and I just had to do something about it lol
MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi // SERIES MASTERLIST
CHAPTER 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐈𝐭 𝐄𝐧𝐝?
“Bottoms up!” Seokjin loudly cheered as you and your friends downed your soju shots. 
You looked at your now-empty glass of soju, liquid that was now burning down your throat. But you couldn’t care less about it. It had been the most tiring day ever, like every day since you started being an assistant to a supermodel newcomer, Nari.
Your eyelids were feeling heavy, dizzy with alcohol and sleep that your body was begging for since the beginning of the day. 
“Hey, Y/N-innie,” Taehyung called you, twirling a strand of hair from her girlfriend’s hair, Karina, your high school best friend, while he talked. “Nari gave you trouble today?” he asked, sipping on his drink. 
With a huff and an eyeroll, you nodded, letting your forehead drop on your palm. “Yeah, fuck, you don’t know how much her voice just irritates me, let alone her demands!” you cried, slurring almost every word. “Ever since Jimin dropped me off that one time, like- when was it? Like, a month ago? She’s been bugging me about getting her a date with him ever since” you cried.
“Then, why doesn’t he take her out?” Karina shrugs.
“Because he doesn’t like her” you sighed, pouring more soju on your shot cup.
Seokjin snorts and shakes his head. “Of course he doesn’t. Who wouldn’t?” he asks with a smile. “I stalked her Insta the other day. She’s pretty and all, don’t get me wrong, but bitch is obnoxious” he hisses.
Your eyebrows arch. “See?” you say to Taehyung and Karina. 
Taehyung laughs. “Where is Jimin, by the way?” he asked, his head turning towards the door. “He said he’d be here by 10 and that was thirty minutes ago” Tae said, looking at you.
You let out a huff. “I don’t know, honestly. He said he was practicing with his new band” you downed your soju shot and then let out a cry. “At this point he’ll abandon us for his new friends” 
“Oh no, not another Jungkook” Seokjin chuckles.
But nobody at the table laughed. Not even a smile was sent his way.
Karina glared at him.
Taehyung narrowed his eyes.
And you, you simply stared at the table in front of you. 
“S-sorry. Didn’t realise it was still a sensitive topic. Sorry” he apologised. If he were a dog, he’d have his tail between his legs, and his ears bowed down in shame along with his head. 
You sighed and used it as an excuse to pour another soju shot. 
Karina looked at you and her expression softened with worry. “Y/N, babe, don’t you think… don’t you think you’ve had enough for today?” she asked.
“Nope”
“How many shots have you downed since we got here?” she asked you, placing a hand over yours.
“I don’t know. And I don’t care” you said, throwing back the shot. “That’s better” 
Taehyung sighed and dug his hand inside his pocket. He clicked on the chat he had with Jimin and sent him another text.
Tae: Jimin hyung. We have a problem. It’s Y/N, hurry tf up. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Jimin walked inside the restaurant with a pant and looked around in search of his friends.
“Jimin-ssi” Taehyung waved his hand and Jimin walked faster towards them. 
“Hey!” he panted and his eyes fell towards you.
You were slumped over the table, head inside your arms, as you mumbled incoherent nonsense against the fabric of your cashmere black sweater. 
He smiled slightly and sat on the empty seat next to yours.
“Why did you let her drink so much, you guys?” Jimin scolded them as he got comfortable.
“Yo, blame her, not us bro. She’s a big girl” Seokjin cried. “She needed those drinks. Her day at work sucked”
Jimin let out a sigh and put a hand over your back. 
“Y/N, hey. It’s me, come on. Wake up” he whispered gently as he tried to move you.
Your head shot up and you opened your eyes. You instantly smiled and let out a little chuckle.
“Hello, you…” you drawled out, poking his cheek. 
Jimin gave you a toothy smile. “Yeah, hi, sleeping beauty” he chuckled. 
“I’m sorry…” you said and let your head fall on his shoulder.
He froze in his spot and reluctantly put an arm around you, caressing your shoulder.
His eyes looked up and found Tae and Karina smirking at him. He sent them a frown and a grimace, like stop meddling!
With a sigh, you straightened up and blinked your eyes open. “This is all your fault” you spat at him.
Jimin’s smile fell. “Huh?” he asked, utterly confused.
“Every day at work is a day in hell because of that nagging bitch Nari, why can’t you just do me that favour!” you yelled, grabbing his collar and shaking him a little.
“Wait, wait, Y/N” Jimin said, prying your hands off of him. 
“Y/N, go easy on him” Karina chuckled.
You looked at her and then back at Jimin and let him go with a sigh. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Jimin helped you out of the restaurant while Seokjin, Karina and Tae trailed behind. 
“You got her, right? You can drive her home?” Tae asked.
Jimin smiled and nodded, looking at you, slumped against him with a drunk smile. “Yeah, I’ve handled her before, so…” he trailed off with a shrug.
“That’s great, please text us when you guys get home, okay?” Karina said to all of you.
“Yeah, we will” Jimin said, waving at the three friends walking away.
“Buh-bye!” you slurred and then hiccuped.
“Come on, young lady…” he said and helped you walk through the streets.
You turned your head to the side and gasped when you saw the river in front of the restaurant. “Wow…” you breathed out.
Jimin let out a chuckle. “You do that every time we go out to this bar” 
You looked up at him and blushed. “I know, I just love the river” you shrugged.
Your friend eyed you and grabbed your hand, “Come on, let’s sit and look at it, shall we?” 
You smiled and nodded, jumping up and down but he grabbed your waist and pinned you to the ground.
“No jumping”
You grumbled. “Okay, grandpa”
He chuckled and helped you cross the street, leading you to sit on a bench that faced the beautiful view of Han River at night. He sighed when he had you sat down and he did the same, next to you. He curled his arm around you and stared at your face. 
“You okay?” he asked you, handing you a bottle of water he had in his bag.
“Thank you, and yeah, I think so” you sighed, drinking a little from the bottle. “I just have a lot going on, that’s all” 
“Tell me”
“No… it’s always the same” you slurred. “It’s me telling you about my problems when you’re probably on your way to becoming the next big thing. You needn’t worry about my stupid middle class issues”
Jimin cackled. “Hey, I’m middle class, too!” 
“Yeah, well. Not anymore, that’s for sure” you grumbled. 
Jimin giggled. “Come on, let’s get you sober” he said, pushing the bottle closer to you. “Drink it, now”
You chuckled at his tone and gave it a big gulp. 
Once you placed the bottle down next to you, you gave him a dizzy look. 
“What’s up” he smiled.
“Jiminnie” you started. “Can’t you just… like- a little bit, just… take her out? For once?” you pleaded him.
“Y/N…” he huffed. “I said no, okay?”
You groaned. “You could make my life so much easier. I'm not talking- like- dating and stuff, marry her or some shit. I'm just asking you to take her to dinner, once. That's all I'm asking” you insisted, putting your hands together in a praying manner.
“I don't like her! I find her just as infuriating as you do” Jimin cried.
“I know, I know. But just once… you can like- totally dump her after that” you continued. 
Jimin looked down, clearly uncomfortable. “Please stop” he told you and you bit your lip, to contain pleading him much further. “Don’t tell me to meet some other girl, alright?” he asked you, with a straight face. 
You frowned at his tone, so unlikely of his character.
“It makes me mad” he sighed. 
“Why?” 
“Why do you ask?” he chuckled and looked away. “I think you should know how I feel by now, Y/N” 
You gave Jimin a confused look.
He pressed his tongue against his cheek. “She’s drunk, Jimin. Come on” he whispered to himself. 
You grabbed his hand and gave him puppy eyes. “Tell me… It’s okay, I’ll probably remember tomorrow” 
Jimin looked at you, completely enamoured by you and his eyes couldn't help but drift down to your mouth. Your plump bottom lip was jutted and it was giving him the mad urge to bite it. But he had to pull himself together. 
You, as drunk as you were, realised that Jimin, in that moment, wanted to kiss you.
“Jimin?” you asked him.
“Yeah?” he asked you, his gaze not pulling away from your lips.
“Can we… can we go home?” you stuttered. “I’m kind of freezing”
Jimin pulled away all of a sudden and blinked. 
Of course.
“Y-yeah, let’s go” he whispered. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
The next day, you sat up on your bed holding your head in your hands. 
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m never drinking again” you whispered to yourself.
The door opened and Jimin walked inside the room, holding a cup of tea in his hands and a tablet of Advil in his hand.
“You say that every time” he chuckled.
You sighed and let him sit next to you, as he handed you the cup and the Advil. “I know, but I think this time I mean it” you licked your lips, downing the pill. “Thank you, Chim”
He smiled and put the cup down. “You’re welcome”
You grabbed his arm and smiled, remembering all of a sudden. “How did practice go? Did they tell you when’s your debut date?” 
“Nope” he shook his head. “But I have a great feeling about it, actually” he nodded. “I think it’s closer than we all think”
“I think it’s around the corner. No, it’s behind you. It’s like, breathing down your neck” you smiled, sipping on the tea while he chuckled.
“That’s sweet of you, Y/N” he blushed. 
“I’m just telling you the truth” you shrugged and he pressed his lips together. 
“Thank you” he chuckled. 
You swallowed the tea and left the cup by your nightstand.
“Did I gave you a hard time last night?” you asked him, really not wanting him to answer that question but also wanting him to. “You know, I don’t remember how I got so drunk” 
He patted your hair and gave you a smile. “No, just… you were very insistent” he frowned.
You pulled your face back. “What? With what?”
“With the Nari thing” he replied. 
Your shoulders deflated. “Oh, yeah” you nodded. “Sorry about that. It’s just that… she’s like… making me hate my job”
“But you love it” he frowned.
“I know! I love it, and that’s the worst part” you said.
He sighed. “I’ll think of something” Jimin tried.
Your eyes widened. “You will?” you asked with a smile.
“I’ll try, I said” 
You clapped your hands and hugged him. “Oh, thank you, Chim. I love you!” you squealed.
Yeah… 
“I love you, too” he said, patting your back. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
You walked down the steps of the building hall with Jimin, as he grabbed the keys from his car from his pocket.
“Thank you… again, Chim, for taking me here. I’m really lucky to have someone who’s there to save my ass every time” you chuckled. 
He giggled and pushed your shoulder slightly. “Don’t mention it, and don’t get sappy on me. I might throw up” 
You laughed and looked away. “I won’t… sorry” 
You got flashbacks from the events from the night prior.
How he had looked at your lips.
How he had looked at you with want.
You hadn’t been looked like that since-
“Hey, you okay?” Jimin asked you, placing a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back to earth. 
You blinked. “Um, Chim… you- you wanted to say something to me last night. You remember?” you asked him. 
He licked his lips. “I- I- uh…” he stammered. 
You noticed his discomfort and you let out a sigh. 
“Chim… don’t tell me-”
“I’m sorry” he looked away, ashamed.
You closed your eyes. “Chim, come on” 
“I know” he said, his eyes getting teary.
You grabbed his hands and made him look at you. “It’s not worth it… I’m… not worth it”
Jimin smiled. “Yeah, you are. You’re just… blind, I guess” he chuckled a little.
You smiled. “No, I’m really not. I’m a dumbass, who’s too stupid to get over his ex” you exploded. “And you deserve someone who gives you her full attention. And doesn’t have baggage like me”
“Why don’t you let me help you?” he asked you.
“What?” you asked, confused. “With- with what?”
“Help you get over him…”
「 ✦ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬
𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬
𝐖𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰: 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝? ✦ 」
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 A YEAR AGO 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Jungkook walked through the halls of the hospital, his breathing was heavy and his eyes were drenched with tears. 
He knew his father and him didn’t have the greatest relationship out of all, but he wasn’t going to deny that he loved him.
It was his only parent alive, and he wasn’t about to lose him just like he lost his mother. At least, without saying goodbye. 
He pushed the door open from his room and found him lying in his hospital bed.
Jungkook blinked a couple of times, trying not to cry in front of the nurses that were cleaning up his room. 
They all looked at him and gave him a sympathetic look.
He sighed and went to sit down next to him, feeling the nurses scurry away from the room to give him some privacy with his father. Jungkook grabbed his hand and watched him breathe in and out, with his mask placed on his face. He looked so peaceful and he feared that if he touched him too harshly, he’d break.
“I’m here…” he whispered against his palm. “I’m here, dad” 
His dad’s eyes blinked open and he made a surprise noise. 
“I… Jungkook” he tried to smile. 
“Dad” he smiled, caressing his arm.
“I’m sorry” he breathed out. “I’m sorry, Jungkook” he said and tried taking off his mask.
“No, no, no” Jungkook cried softly, tears falling on his face. “Keep it, you need that”
He grabbed his son’s hand and placed it close to his heart. 
“I thought… I’d go without being able to see you” he breathed out. “You traveled all the way to the US to see me?” 
He smiled at him and nodded. “I did, dad” he smiled.
Jungkook had flied all the way to Minnesota, just to see his dad after receiving a call that he had been urged to the hospital. 
“Thank you, son” he grinned, patting Jungkook’s hand. “Did you tell Y/N you’re here?” 
He nodded. “Yeah, she actually drove me all the way to the airport”
His dad chuckled. “That girl… she’s special, huh?”
“Yeah, she’s really something” Jungkook chuckled, feeling his chest tighten at how much love his heart held for you. 
“I’d… I’d like to meet her sometime, if you let me” his dad asked him.
Jungkook looked away and wiped the tears from his face. 
“I know, I know I fucked up” he sighed. 
“Shh… please try to sleep, okay?” he asked his dad. 
His dad nodded weakly and his eyes slowly closed. 
Jungkook sat up and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later, okay?” he whispered and kissed his forehead once again. 
He left the room, and let out a sigh. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
A few weeks later, Jungkook opened the door to his room at the hospital that was connected to the one his father had, and let out a breath when he let himself fall on the bed with a thud.
With a groan, he stretched his back and let all the muscles and bones crack. 
He felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his jeans and he quickly took it out from it.
Jungkook felt his mouth widen in a lovesick smile and pressed answer immediately.
“Jagiya! What are you doing up at this hour? Isn’t it like… the middle of the night in Seoul?” he asked, checking the watch he had on his wrist.
You giggled on the other side. “I was studying, that’s it” he heard her giggle and he sat up on the bed. “Are you at the airport yet?” 
“No, I just got back from taking care of him. You know, giving him food with a fork like a baby and shit. I’m being picked up in an hour or so” he smiled. “Dad’s going to be discharged soon though, I don’t know if I’m gonna have to go back again, you know?” 
“You wanna fly with your dad?” you asked him. 
“Yeah, kind of” he shrugged. “But… at the same time, I don’t wanna leave you, you know?” he chuckled. 
“Aw, you love me” you sing-songed.
“Didn’t you know yet?” he giggled. “Head over heels” 
You squealed on the other side of the line and his heart doubled its size. “I love you too, my Jungkookie” 
“Ah, I miss you, Jagi” he sighed.
“Me too” you smiled. “But we’re seeing each other in hours so… don’t miss me too much” 
“That is literally impossible” he let out a breath.
“Okay, okay, enough with me. How’s your dad?” you asked him. 
“He’s alright, I guess. He’s completely awake now, and well, he’s tired as hell” he told you. “But they told me that everything is a good sign. I mean, he had a heart attack, he could’ve died… literally speaking. But, you know, he’s recovering, and he’s doing well. And I trust them” 
“That’s good, then” you told him, with genuine happiness.
“Yeah, it is”
“I told you everything was going to be okay, Kookie” you said softly.
“You’re always right”
“I’m always right, indeed. You’re a smart boy” you giggled.
He repeated the action and giggled too.
“You know, it’s been a month since we’ve seen each other”
“Yeah” he nodded. “I miss you so much” he said, again.
“I know, you told me” you chuckled. “And I miss you too… you know, I can come meet you at the airport” 
“No, Jagi, don’t worry. I’ll head to you as soon as I arrive” Jungkook reassured you. 
“No! I really want to go!” you whined.
Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile. “You’re not gonna let it go, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Alright, you can come to the airport” Jungkook said.
“Yay” you squealed.
“Okay, missy. You gotta go to sleep, it’s Thursday. You have uni tomorrow” Jungkook scolded.
“Yes, sir”
He felt his cock stir at the sudden name you used. “Y/N…”
“Yeah?” you said, feigning innocence. 
“I’m hanging up” he chuckled.
“Okay” you said and he heard you yawn. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my love. I love you”
“See you tomorrow, Jagi. Love you”
He hung up the call and let the phone drop on the bed.
A few minutes later, he got a call from the uber that was waiting for him outside the Hospital.
He grabbed his suitcase and got out of the room, but the moment he did, he saw three paramedics running with a hospital bed, in which laid a patient he knew really well: his dad.
His eyes widened and he ran, following them as they got inside the Operating room. When he got to the door, a nurse intercepted him and he was sure she was telling him to step back, but with all his yelling, he couldn’t hear a thing. 
“Dad!” he yelled, “Dad!” 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
You got to the airport with a huge smile on your face and sat down on a bench by the arrivals gate. You were chewing your lip anxiously and excitedly at the same time because you were dying to see your boyfriend. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
“Your dad had a cardiac arrest, boy” the doctor in charge of the surgery said, taking off his face mask.
Jungkook felt his heart drop to his feet as he stared wordlessly at the doctor.
“His vitals are stable, however… his condition is still serious” the doctor said. “We’ll do whatever it takes to get your dad back to your home country, don’t worry” he smiled slightly, patting Jungkook’s shoulder and heading back to the operation room.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Two hours passed… then three… and then four.
Jungkook was nowhere in sight.
It got to a point where you stared at the floor, feeling numb. The sadness had left your body a while ago and it was just hopelessness.
You decided to get up from the bench, paid for the parking and went straight home. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
The next day, you sat with Karina next to you at your uni class, while staring at your textbook. 
You felt her shake your shoulder and you looked at her, only to find her giving you a look that screamed: I pity you.
“Hey, babe. You alright?” she asked.
Bless her soul.
You plastered a fake smile and nodded. “Yeah, just… distracted. That’s all” you lied.
She furrowed her eyebrows but let it go. 
You felt your phone buzz and you immediately grabbed it. 
Disappointment filled your body when you saw it was just a dumb Instagram notification. With a sigh, you opened the messaging app and clicked on the chat with your boyfriend. 
You eyed the past messages you and Jungkook had shared, and the last you had sent him.
You: How’s your dad?
Jungkook: the same
You: did you at least get some sleep, baby?
He hadn’t replied to that one. 
You licked your lips and pressed your eyes together, trying to refrain yourself from crying in front of a whole class. How embarrassing. 
By the end of the day, you felt your stomach killing you with anxiety, to the point that when you got to your home, you had to bend over from the pain. 
You groaned, and gasped, feeling your feet shake from the pain.
Karina, who happened to be your roommate at the time, saw you on the floor and gasped, running towards you.
“Y/N! Y/N! You okay? Hey, look at me!” she desperately said, grabbing your face. 
“Kari- Kari, please take me to the hospital” you wheezed out.
“Yeah, yeah, come on” she said. “Hold on to me”
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
A few hours later, Karina watched you sleep in a hospital bed. They had given you medication for the stomach pain and some pills for future anxiety attacks like the one you had.
She sighed as she stared at you.
“She’s gonna be fine, babe” Taehyung, your longtime friend, and since two months ago, Karina’s boyfriend, said, rubbing her back.
“I know, she will be. But it’s what's causing it that's worrying me, you know?” Karina bit her lip.
With a long breath out, she smiled at her boyfriend. 
Your phone vibrated on the little stand next to the bed.
Jungkook, it read. 
Karina and Taehyung looked at each other and nodded. Karina picked up the call and tried her best to sound calm.
“Hey, Jungkook” she said. 
“Oh, Karina. Hi” he smiled slightly. “How have you been?”
“I’m fine, how about you?” Karina replied. 
Jungkook sighed. “Well, I’m… holding on, I guess. Where’s- where’s Y/N?” he asked shakily. 
Karina looked at your sleeping form and chewed on her lip. “Um, don’t freak out. Y/N’s at the hospital right now, we’re taking care of he-”
“WHAT?” Jungkook yelled. “How- how did that happen? Is she okay?”
“Oh gosh, calm down. She’s fine, Jungkook. It’s not serious. She just had an anxiety attack and her stomach was killing her” Karina explained it all to Jungkook. “The exams we’ve had lately are killing us and well… you know, what’s going on with your dad took a toll on her, too. I’m not gonna lie to you, Kook” 
“Can- can I speak to her, please?” Jungkook asked, in a small voice. 
“I’m sorry, she’s asleep. They gave her some strong medicine that kicked her lights out” Karina chuckled a little. “How’s your dad, Jungkook?”
“He’s not well, yet” Jungkook whispered.
Karina hummed. Tae crouched down and said, “Hey, Jungkookie, we miss you”
Jungkook smiled. “Hey, Tae” he chuckled.
“Okay, that’s enough, adults are talking” Karina jokingly pushed his boyfriend away, making him pout at her. “Well, we wish you and him nothing but the best from here. We’ll tell her to call you when she wakes up”
Jungkook nodded. “Right, thank you” he said quietly. 
Jungkook hung up and Karina left the phone by the stand with a sigh.
“I hope he’s okay” Tae told her.
Karina grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it. “He will be. And Y/N-nnie will be too” 
Taehyung nodded and hugged his girlfriend.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Once you got home, you got ready for bed in your usual pajamas: one of Jungkook’s shirts and a pair of worn out shorts. 
As you let yourself get comfortable under the sheets, you felt your phone ringing and you quickly grabbed it, smiling slightly when you saw your boyfriend's name on the screen.
You swiped to answer the call and calmed yourself. 
“Hey, Kook! How are you, honey” you smiled. “It feels like we haven’t talked in forever”
“Hey… right” he trailed off.
Jungkook was sitting on a hospital bench, outside of his father’s room. His leg was bouncing up and down with the nerves racking over his body. 
“Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah!” you lied. “I am, actually. Of course. I actually passed my last test yesterday so…” 
“That’s great” Jungkook breathed out in a smile. 
“I know!” you squealed. “I was so nervous. But well, if I’m going to be the best makeup artist ever, I gotta pass the hardest tests, I mean, right?” 
“Yeah” Jungkook said, biting his lip and rolling his lip ring with his tongue. “Y/N…”
“Yeah, babe?”
Jungkook pressed his eyes together at the nickname. “We… we should break up” he said all in one breath. 
You blinked a couple of times, feeling your heart stopping its beating for a couple of seconds. “Huh?” you asked in a small voice. “What do you mean?”
“Waiting on my dad without knowing when he’ll wake up… must be hard for you too” Jungkook said, feeling the tears he had tried so hard to hold in his eyes, starting to fall. He sniffled and looked down to his feet. “It’s not fair to you”
You felt your vision getting blurry with tears. “What- what are you talking about?” you asked him. “It’s not hard for me at all, Jungkook” you lied. “I can wait, it’s all right”
“I don’t feel that’s what you deserve, Jagiya. I can’t even be there for you when you need me” Jungkook cried. “I feel so bad about it”
“You don’t have to feel bad about me, Jungkook” you cried.
“But I do! You’ve had an anxiety attack and I couldn’t even be there for you. God knows what else you might be going through or what you’ll go through and I’ll be unable to be there for you because of my current situation!” Jungkook said, his face completely soaked with tears of sadness. 
“I said I’m fine, Kook. Why are you doing this?” you sobbed. Jungkook didn’t answer. “I don’t want to break up. Nuh-uh” you shook your head as you frowned. “I can- fuck, I can even make money to fly back and fourth but we’re not over, we’re not!” 
“I… I can’t let you do that” Jungkook chuckled humorlessly. 
“Why not? Jungkook, that is my decision” you told him.
Jungkook smiled at your words and how you stood your ground. Just like you’ve always done. 
“Do well in Uni, Jagi. Don’t wait for my calls anymore, okay?” he asked softly. 
“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” You cried, almost grabbing your hair and ripping it out of your head from how he was talking. “Don’t say it like it’s our last time”
“It is…” he sobbed.
“No, I’m hanging up, Jungkook. You can call me when you’re in your right mind. Okay?” you said and hung up. 
You threw your phone further away on the bed and dropped your face on your pillow, sobbing your lungs out and kicking your feet. 
Karina came into the room, hearing your cries and immediately wrapped her arms around you, soothing you.
Meanwhile, in the United States, Jungkook stared at his phone and let out a sob that racked through his whole body. He let his head drop and cried, alone in a hospital hallway, his shoulders shaking. 
「 ✦ 𝐖𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬
𝐖𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬
𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬?✦ 」
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
The days went by slowly, oh so slowly. It was torture. Seokjin, the one who knew how to cheer you up the most, didn’t know what to do. He had run out of jokes to tell you, the ones he knew that he’d have you cackling and grabbing your stomach in seconds. 
Jimin, whom you’ve always considered your soulmate, always reminding each other how scary it was how alike you thought, didn’t even know what you were thinking now. He couldn’t decode what was on your head anymore. 
Karina didn’t know what to do either. She didn’t want to pressure you into going out to get your mind off things, but she also didn’t want you to mope around forever in your shared apartment. 
Taehyung was going crazy as well, because he knew that Jungkook, one of his best friends, wasn’t going to come around any time soon and, because he cared for you, he felt so bad for you as well. 
A month passed by and Karina had moved out of the apartment to Taehyung’s. You were genuinely happy for her, because you knew how long it had taken for those two to confess their feelings, and you knew how much they loved each other. 
But, at the same time, you were jealous of her. Because you didn’t get to have that with Jungkook, and you knew that you weren’t going to have that. 
At the same time, you wanted to have all of those things but you didn't want it with anybody that wasn’t Jeon Jungkook. And it hurt like hell.
Jimin was the one who was the most present and there for you during your break up. He’d bring you your favorite ramen, bring you take out, bring you the snacks you knew you’d like, bring you pads for your periods, etc. 
He had been your rock throughout the whole process, and it made you realize just how lucky you were to have him.
“Thank you, Chim” you smiled at him when he handed you the ramen bowl.
He smiled. “You’re welcome, Y/N-innie” he said, patting your hair.
“No. Not only for the ramen, I mean. For- for everything you’ve done so far” you said, your eyes lining up with tears. “I’m so thankful to have a friend like you. I’m really lucky”
Jimin bowed his head down at the mention of the word friend, but he let it slide, for your and his own sake. “Yeah, don’t mention it. I know you’d do the same for me”
“Of course” you smiled, and grabbed his hand. 
He covered your hand with his free hand and smiled at you. “You know, I’ve been to therapy these past couple of years and one thing that I found really… really helpful for… you know… letting go of some unsaid feelings, thoughts, whatever is going through your mind, is to write them down in letter form” he said. 
“Chim-”
“I know. It’s just an idea. Something that worked for me” Jimin spoke softly to you, caressing your hand. “You can address it to… you know who, and tell that person how you feel, without sending it to him actually. It worked for me” he shrugged
You didn’t say anything.
“I’ll bring you some diet coke, is that okay?” Jimin said, standing up from the bed.
You sighed and nodded. “Yeah. You know me so well, thanks” you chuckled.
“No worries”
Once he left, you placed the bowl on the nightstand and went to your desk to grab your phone that had just finished charging. 
Accidentally, on your way back to bed, you bumped your hip into your desk chair, making the bag that was on it, fall to the floor.
“Shit” you said, grabbing your hip in pain and crouching down to put your bag on the desk chair again.
When you moved the bag out of the way, you saw something underneath your desk. You quickly grabbed it with a frown and your heart started beating faster when you saw what it was.
It was a photo strip taken at a photobooth, with you and Jungkook in it, kissing, looking so in love like you had always been. It had written in sharpie: happy 11 months, babe!
You felt a tear run down your cheek at the memory. It was a gift he had given you 3 months ago, for your 11th month anniversary. You couldn’t even celebrate a full year together because you had broken up a week prior to the date. 
Your chin quivered with sadness and turned the picture down, unable to continue staring at it. 
But as you turned it down, you realised that something was written at the back. 
“I hope we can go to Namsan, to make a wish upon the first snow… so we can be together forever” 
You frowned as you cried. 
Now, that wish, to be together forever, was further away than Jungkook. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
The next day, you walked out of Uni with Karina and Seokjin by your side, chuckling at some dumb story that Seokjin had told. 
“Oh God, shut up, Jin” Karina rolled her eyes. 
“No, Karina, but I’m telling you. We have to go to that Karaoke again” he insisted. “We’ll have so much fun, this time, Y/N-innie, you’re coming with us. No exceptions”
“Okay, okay” you sighed.
Karina and Seokjin turned to look at each other and squealed. “Yeah!” Seokjin said, grabbing your waist and twirling you around.
“Y/N’s back!” Karina smiled, clapping her hands.
“Oh God, put me down, Seokjin!” you yelled.
“Sorry” he mumbled.
You chuckled and then gasped, feeling something dropping on your hand.
Your eyes fell to the back of your hand and saw a white, little, snowflake. 
“Oh, it’s snowing, look!” Karina gasped.
You looked up and saw the snowy weather. 
Why did everything remind you of him?
That night, you couldn’t help but drive all the way to Namsan Tower, and as you reached the outer observatory, you sat down on a bench and sighed. 
“Okay… here goes my wish” you whispered under your breath. “I wish… to get the job I applied for last week. I really hope I get it, I’m needing the money” you sighed. 
You licked your lips and looked up.
“And I wish for Jungkook’s dad to get okay” you said. “I guess, that’s a little selfish, wishing twice” you brushed the snow from your hair and stood up, ready to go home. “Whatever wish comes true… I’m happy with either of those” Feeling like you’ve completed your purpose, you walked out of Namsan Tower, and went straight back home. 
「 ✦ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 ✦ 」
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Jungkook sat by his dad’s hospital bed, while scrolling down on the gallery app.
It was self-torture, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he felt the need to go through every photo you’ve taken together. 
He swiped over every photo, memorizing every feature on your face and recalling every memory behind every single photo. 
He stopped when he reached a particular one.
You were on his bed, wearing his shirt. You were holding his brother’s new pup, the one he had given you two to care of for a week because he had gone on vacation. 
He felt a sob rack through his throat at the memory, one which he recalls was the happiest of his life. 
He didn’t know how happy he was back then, but now, he knows he had never been happier. 
And it was all because of you. 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Once you got back home, you sat on your desk and grabbed your macbook, opening it. 
You remembered Jimin’s words. 
Write a letter to Jungkook, addressing it to him, without sending it. Just to free some feelings.
That was easy.
You grabbed a hair tie, wrapping it around your hair in a bun and let out a shaky breath.
Dear Jungkook,
It’s been almost 2 months since our last call. I guess you can say I’ve been doing fine, academically speaking. 
I’ve passed my classes and I’m only one exam away from getting my degree early with Karina. We’re so excited. We honestly cannot wait to start working already. 
I wonder if you’ve started studying music over there. I know that Jimin and you would’ve been such a power music couple. You would’ve broken every single record. I hope one day I can hear the music you made. You know, even the ones you played for me. 
I know I stopped texting. And I’m sure you’re wondering why. But it’s because I realized that maybe this was for the better. Maybe we weren’t supposed to be together for the rest of our lives like we had planned. Like we wanted to. Like I wanted to. At some point, I got tired of the read status. It made me sad. I can’t do that to myself anymore. 
It’s snowing here. I hope the place you’re in is warm, I know you don’t enjoy cold weather that much. 
I won’t contact you anymore.
I promise.
I just felt like this was for the better. Writing a goodbye letter to get closure.
So that we can get some closure.
So that I can get some closure.
Goodbye.
You finished writing the letter and pressed your lips together. 
Your eyes looked up on the screen and saw Jungkook’s contact on the message inbox. 
Without a second thought, you copied the letter and sent it to him. You quickly shut the macbook and stood up from the desk. You let yourself fall on your ass on the bed, placing your back against the bedpost. 
The tears fell across your cheeks, like a waterfall.
Closure. That’s exactly what was needed. 
「 ✦ 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞
𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞
𝐃-𝐘-𝐈-𝐍-𝐆 ✦ 」
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 PRESENT DAY 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
“Y/N?” 
“Huh?” you blinked.
Jimin let out a little laugh. “Did you hear what I just said?” he asked.
You licked your lips. “Yeah…”
“Well, will you let me?” Jimin asked. “Will you let me help you get over him?” 
You looked at your feet and got nervous. “I- I don’t know, Chim” 
“I’m not trying to pressure you” Jimin said, putting his hands up in a defensive manner. “Just let me take you out. Once… twice… as many times as you want” 
“That’s why you got annoyed that I kept bringing Nari up, huh?” you asked.
“Well… yeah, kind of” Jimin chuckled. 
You chewed on your lip. 
“Okay”
Jimin frowned. “Okay… what?”
You smiled. “I’ll let you take me out, Chim”
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
let me know what you think :))
PREVIOUS // NEXT
279 notes · View notes
ourflagmeansgayrights · 9 months ago
Text
so part of me wants to blame this entirely on wbd, right? bloys said he was cool with the show getting shopped around, so assuming he was telling the truth (not that im abt to start blindly trusting anything a CEO says lol), that means it’s not an hbo problem. and we already know wbd has an awful track record with refusing to sell their properties—altho unlike coyote v acme, s3 of ofmd isn’t a completed work and therefore there isn’t the same tax writeoff incentive to bury the thing. i just can’t see any reason to hold on to ofmd except for worrying about image, bc it would be embarrassing if they let this show go with such a devoted fanbase and recognizable celebrities and it went somewhere else and did really well (which it would undoubtedly do really well, we’ve long since proven that). it feels kinda tinfoil hat of me to making assumptions abt what’s going on in wbd behind the scenes, but i also feel like there are hints that i’m onto something w my suspicions: suddenly cracking down on fan merch on etsy doesn’t seem like something a studio looking to sell their property would bother with, and we know someone was paying to track the viewing stats on ofmd’s bbc airing, which isn’t finished yet, so i’d expect whoever is monitoring that to not make a decision abt buying ofmd until the s2 finale dropped.
but also i think part of me just wants there to be a clear villain in the situation. it’s kinda comforting to have a face to blame, a clear target to shake my fist at. but the truth is that the entire streaming industry is in the shitter. streaming is not pulling in the kind of profit that investors were promised, and we’re seeing the bubble that was propped up w investor money finally start to pop. studios aren’t leaving much room in their budgets for acquiring new properties, and they’re whittling down what they already have. especially w the strikes last year, they’re all penny pinching like hell. and that’s much a much harder thing to rage against than just one studio or one CEO being shitty. that’s disheartening in a way that’s much bigger and more frightening than if there was just one guy to blame.
my guess is that the truth of the situation is probably somewhere in the middle. wbd is following the same shitty pattern they’ve been following since the merger, and it’s just a hard time for anyone trying to get their story picked up by any studio. ofmd is just one of many shows that are unlucky enough to exist at this very unstable time for the tv/streaming industry.
when i think abt it that way, tho, i’m struck by how lucky we are that ofmd even got to exist at all. if the wbd merger had happened a year earlier, or if djenks and tw tried to pitch this show a year later, there’s no way this show would’ve been made. s1 was given the runtime and the creative freedom needed to tell the story the way the showrunners wanted to, and the final product benefited from it so much that it became a huge hit from sheer gay word of mouth. and for all the imperfections with s2—the shorter episode order, the hard 30 minute per episode limit, the last-minute script changes, the finale a butchered mess of the intended creative vision—the team behind ofmd managed to tell a beautiful story despite the uphill battle they undoubtedly were up against. they ended the season with the main characters in a happy place. ed and stede are together, and our last shot of ed isn’t of him sobbing uncontrollably (like i rlly can’t stress enough how much i would have never been able to acknowledge the existence of this show again if s1 was all we got)
like. y’all. we were this close to a world where ofmd never got to exist. for me, at least, the pain of an undue cancellation is worth getting to have this story at all. so rather than taking my comfort in the form of righteous anger at david zaslav or at wbd or at the entire streaming industry as a whole, i’m trying to focus on how lucky i am to get to have the show in the first place.
bc really, even as i’m reeling in grief to know this is the end of the road for ofmd, a part of me still can’t quite wrap my head around that this show is real. a queer romcom about middle-aged men, a rejection of washboard abs and facetuned beauty standards, a masterful deconstruction and criticism of toxic masculinity, well-written female characters who get to shine despite being in a show that is primarily about manhood and masculinity, diverse characters whose stories never center around oppression and bigotry, a casually nonbinary character, violent revenge fantasies against oppressors that are cathartic but at the same time are not what brings the characters healing and joy, a queer found family, a strong theme of anti colonialism throughout the entire show. a diverse writers room that got to use their perspectives and experiences to inform the story. the fact that above all else, this show is about the love story between ed and stede, which means the character arcs, the thoughts, the feelings, the motivations, the backstories, and everything else that make up the characters of ed and stede are given the most focus and the most care.
bc there rlly aren’t a lot of shows where a character like stede—a flamboyant and overtly gay middle-aged man who abandoned his family to live his life authentically—gets to be the main character of a romcom, gets to be the hero who the show is rooting for.
and god, there definitely aren’t a lot of shows where a character like ed—a queer indigenous man who is famous, successful, hyper-competent, who feels trapped by rigid standards of toxic hypermasculinity, who yearns for softness and gentleness and genuine interpersonal connection and vulnerability, whose mental health struggles and suicidal intentions are given such a huge degree of attention and delicate care in their depiction, who messes up and hurts people when he’s in pain but who the show is still endlessly sympathetic towards—gets to exist at all, much less as the romantic lead and the second protagonist of the show.
so fuck the studios, fuck capitalism, fuck everything that brought the show to an end before the story was told all the way through. because the forces that are keeping s3 from being made are the same forces that would’ve seen the entire show canceled before it even began. s3 is canceled, and s2 suffered from studio meddling, but we still won. we got to have this show. we got to have these characters. there’s been so much working against this show from the very beginning but here we are, two years later, lives changed bc despite all odds, ofmd exists. they can’t take that away from us. they can’t make us stop talking abt or stop caring abt this show. i’m gonna be a fan of this show til the day i die, and the studios hate that. they hate that we care about things that don’t fit into their business strategy, they hate that not everyone will blindly consume endless IP reboots and spin-offs and cheap reality tv.
anyway i dont rlly have a neat way to end this post. sorta just rambling abt my feelings. idk, i know this sucks but im not rlly feeling like wallowing in it. i think my gratitude for the show is outweighing my grief and anger, at least for right now. most important thing tho is im not going anywhere. and my love for this show is certainly not fucking going anywhere.
325 notes · View notes
bunnivez · 6 months ago
Text
Episode 1… A Crazy Night
Tumblr media
The rays of sun peeking through the curtains hit your warm skin. Peace— is what you felt. Your mind was completely out of the world forgetting about everything; reality.
The smell of some expensive cologne filled in your senses— wait.. expensive cologne?
Your eyes shot wide open only to get jump scared by the person sleeping peacefully besides you, their face facing yours.
Who..?
Long Lashes, white hair, purple tattoos, piercings… Is she naked?
“What the fuck..” you quietly said before sitting, were you this sore before?
‘Wait… WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?’ you quickly panicked at the realization that not only were you in the same bed as a stranger—but you both are fucking NAKED. THIS PLACE ISN’T EVEN YOUR PLACE.
“Hmm. You awake now?” You heard the woman groan. Startled you looked down at her once again with wide eyes. There she was, a hand ran through her hair putting it back as she opened her eye revealing a pretty blue.
You felt your heart stop at the realization. The relation that this wasn’t just a woman you most likely slept with, but Zoya …. WHAT.
“WAIT… You are…” You went pale as your eyes didn’t leave hers.
“Yeah? Do you not remember me or somethin’?” She teased with a smirk.
What even happened last night?
It was late and you went out to go clubbing with your friends. Not only that but your favorite band The Legion were playing there tonight! It wasn’t too rare for them to perform in clubs, and during those times the clubs would end up packed. Even to the point that others can’t even enter due to how full it is. Luckily for you, your friends managed to be one of the ones to enter first meaning you got first row as well!
Zoya, the lead singer of The Legion was your favorite member. She had a beautiful voice, was skilled with the guitar, absolutely attractive and hot, what girl wouldn’t fall for her?
Throughout the whole performance your eyes were glued on her. Taking in the sight of her exposed muscles, the sweat dripping down her forehead, the way her fingers pressed on the guitar’s strings, the way her lips moved.
And strangely enough— you’d notice the quick glances she gave you.
“Are you alright?” Zoya asked and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “Y-yeah” you replied and quickly got up in search for your clothes which were scattered on the floor. You felt her eyes look at you while you tried to put your clothes back on, but no words were exchanged between you two. What were you supposed to even say? ‘Thank you for the lovely time last night even though I don’t remember shit! ’.
Until the silence was finally broken, “Hey.. Want me to drive you back home?” “Um… No i’m okay.” “Please. At least let me get you an uber or something.”
Things were already too awkward, her driving you back home? Might as well die. Yet walking your way back home alone not knowing exactly where you are isn’t the smartest choice either.
“.. Alright, thank you.”
‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞ ୨୧ ‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞
She guided you outside the hotel, again, no words were spoken between the two of you. But she was even nice enough to open the car’s door for you and close it before saying goodbye and “have a nice day”.
What else was there to say?
“Where to, miss?” The driver asked looking at you through the mirror. Once you gave them your adress the car started.
You remembered you haven’t checked your phone earlier, so when you turned it on you find it filled with so many messages and missed calls from your friends from last night— some from earlier around 5:00.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After finally arriving home, you took a shower, changed into some clean clothes and sat on the couch the whole day watching movies, doing a bit of cleaning, cooking something— anything to get your mind off of her.
Yet despite your efforts nothing seemed to work. It’s not like you slept with some random girl— no, this is Zoya. Bai Yi and K.K weren’t joking; if anyone saw you and Zoya leaving the hotel together there will be reports and pictures taken by the paparazzi all over the internet; something that has been done before with other girls that have been seen with Zoya.
Another thing that occupied your mind was; how did it all happen?
The concert ended, people were starting to leave, some stayed to call for a ride, others trying to get autographs from The Legion. You weren’t drunk, just had a few drinks but you were fine along with your friends… Surprisingly Bai Yi didn’t get too drunk.
“Guys ima use the restroom, are you coming?” You asked, Bai Yi and K.K shook their heads, “Nah, i’m good. I will try to get an *hic* autograph from The Legion for ya!” Bai Yi winked.
K.K sighed as she looked at a sleeping Deren snoring loudly taking up the whole couch “It was a bad idea bring her. We should’ve taken Che with us instead.
“You know he would decline in a second.” You laughed, “Anyway I will come back in a bit.”
“Don’t take too long! I don’t want to stay for too long with these two, especially since Chelsea left early.” You heard K.K exclaim.
Oh yeah, Chelsea did leave pretty early; she said something about how she promised one of her sugar babies a night together or something along those linee.
Quickly you opened the restroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and makeup a bit before you heard something else enter, and much to your surprise when you looked at the person through the mirror you saw her— and she was staring at you.
“Hey, tonight was hella crowded huh?” She smiled at you as if she has met you before. She was so much more attractive up close, you couldn’t get your eyes off of her, you even forgot how to breath because holy shit— THIS IS ZOYA TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
“U-um, yeah haha, there was so many people that came to watch you guys.”
Zoya started washing her hands which gave you the opportunity to take a peek, her fingers were long, nails painted black, she wore those chunky silver rings—
“Hm. I think I have seen you in some of my previous concerts.” Zoya suddenly spoke.
You quickly looked away to the side flustered and surprised that she even noticed you, “Yeah! I am a very big fan. I try to attend to every concert you guys hold, I’m surprised you noticed.”
She chuckled “Well it’s kinda hard not to notice a pretty girl like you.”
Did she.. just call you pretty!? OHDSHABAHAJAHAJ GAUSHWTAJAGAUWGWHSBGSHSVWSHAJjsywj
“Me? Pssshh, nah.” You rolled your eyes yet you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at the compliment.
Once she finished washing her hands she turned around to look at you properly; getting a bit closer even, “Nah, I’m being for real. You’re very pretty— almost couldn’t take my eyes off you back there.” she smirked. “I even wanted to go and talk to you and stuff.”
“Oh? Then could it be that you came here because I was too?” You joked. Zoya shook her head and smiled, “No, that was just pure luck. I didn’t expect you to be here honestly.”
You hummed and stood there awkwardly. You were nervous that is no doubt, but who the heck wouldn’t? Especially in the presence of one of your favorite artists.
“Mind joining me for a drink? I’ll pay.”
You accepted the offer. The rest of the night went smoothly, some fans that stayed asked Zoya for autographs or pictures, but her attention was all on you. That night you learned many things about her. She liked her liquor strong, had a high alcohol tolerance, wasn’t good at driving but is great with motorcycles, loves her band and see’s the members as her own family.
You both talked like you’ve been friends for a long time, like this wasn’t Zoya from your favorite band, but just Zoya. Before you knew it, you both kissed, and soon you were in her bed; and on that moment you forgot about everything, like your friends, telling them you left, you were only focused on her.
The way her lips felt against your own, the way her hands roamed across your body, touching— grabbing you everywhere. The way she made you scream her name, arch your back, scratch her back with your nails. It all felt heavenly.
Suddenly nothing mattered, not even the consequences, not even the fact that you two didn’t know each other well, that she didn’t even know your damn name.
Oh fuck.
No you really did it this time (Y/n).
“Holy shit.” You groaned and buried your face on the pillow.
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
You did fucking sleep with her…
Oh god you’re now one of the girls she has slept with, why!? Why would you do that knowing it would be a terrible mistake.
After cursing yourself for some time you decided the best thing to do at the moment is sleep, rest your mind, get your head off of things.
‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞ ୨୧ ‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞
You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. With a groan you turned around and reached for your phone, squinting your eyes due to the light of the screen as you tried to read the message Bai Yi left you along with a missed call— then she called you again.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You answered..
You: Whats up?
Bai Yi: HAVE YOU CHECKED THE NEWS YET!?
You: What do you mean? I just woke up.
Bai Yi: GIRL YOU’RE EVERYWHERE, THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU AND ZOYA.
You: *sits up quickly* WHAT!?
Bai Yi: Someone saw you and Zoya leave the hotel she was staying at TOGETHER, they took pictures and people are now making rumors that maybe you two might be in a secret relationship or just another nightstand.
You: You’re joking, bro this is actually not funny—
Bai Yi: I’m not, here, i’ll even send you a damn report that has been published not too long ago.
And much to your horror, she truly wasn’t joking. The link she sent leaded to a news report and there you were with Zoya, her helping you get inside the uber with words in bold that read “Lead singer of the band The Legion has been found with a mysterious woman”.
You: What. The . Fuck.
Tumblr media
Tag List: @uzumakioden , @kairorow , @bumbercar , @aesculapi , @anashouto , @watashiwaglr38 , @almond11milk
Comment on this post if you wish to be on the tag list for this series! This way you’ll be easily notified for when other episodes are released.
128 notes · View notes
amuseoffyre · 1 year ago
Text
I can't think of many shows that use both the original orchestrations and the songs with as ruthless and beautiful efficiency as pirates. I know a lot of shows who give it some of the focus, but it has been so solidly consistent across the board for every. frigging. episode of OFMD.
The songs they pick not only tie in perfectly, but the tone, style and mood carries across into the scene. And are even incorporated into the filming of the scene as well, to make sure they get exactly what they want.
The way they used The Chain is quite frankly mind-boggling, knowing that they filmed it with the music playing on the set at a higher speed, so when they slowed it down, they had pinned beat-by-beat every single shot of that scene to exactly the point they wanted in the song. The drumbeats matched up with the British drummers and having Frenchie on his lute knocked flat right as the guitar cuts off. It's just... AAAAAA.
And now we're in S2, they're doing the same brutally perfect scalpel work with the themes from the score for the first season. I've yelled about it before, but I will yell again about these three in particularly coming for my throat:
when Stede shows Ed around the Revenge and shows him all his cool things, there's a jaunty little harpsichord melody playing. That melody came back when Izzy showed Stede how to be a pirate and do cool pirate things
when Izzy crawls away from the crew, the solo cello notes that are part of the Blackbeard theme start playing
when Izzy opens his note from the crew, letting him know he belongs with them, he starts crying to the piece of music that plays over Ed's mum telling him "we're just not those kind of people"
It's such perfect understated parallel story-telling, demonstrating that something similar is happening to the characters without having to say a single word, and I am hoping against hope that we get either "Do You Concur?" or "Be a Lighthouse" back again in the next 3 episodes.
ohhhhhh if we get Ed and Stede doing a fuckery together with Lighthouse over it, I might actually cry. That is far and away my favourite piece on the entire OST because their signature instruments switch and alternate between harmony and melody and it's so perfectly them.
(However, if we get Ends Tonight again, I might bite someone)
520 notes · View notes
hauntingofhouses · 11 months ago
Text
I just keep obsessing over how Mizu is so many things. She truly is water, so deep and unfathomable and complex, ever-changing, ever-adapting, fluid and mysterious, she fits into every shape you pour her into, she is gentle yet vicious, soft-hearted yet callous, stoic and quiet yet still sarcastic and playful.
She is Japanese and white and both and neither, she is woman and man and both and neither, she is human and demon, she is ronin and bride and Onryo and phoenix.
She is also a sword; Mizu and her sword are one.
"The sword is the soul of the samurai."
"I am... made of mixed metal. No amount of hammering can remove my impurity."
"What is a sword? [...] It is a line. On one side of the line is life. The other, death. The edge we forge cuts the line between life and death."
Tumblr media
Mizu's soul is thus represented by her blade, but Mizu is also
the metal: beautiful, strong, sharp, and precise, but ultimately neutral, neither good nor evil, as metal can be used to craft both weapons of death, or knives for cooking and nourishment;
the maker: artistic and passionate, the maker creates;
and the one to wield it: deadly and swift, the swordsman destroys.
In the first episode, we don't even see her blade for much of it, only mentions of it, as she doesn't even deign to fight someone like Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Ringo's noodle shop.
Tumblr media
Most people don't even deserve to see her blade. And who is the first person in the show whom the sword is even shown to? Well...
Taigen: "Are you afraid to fight with steel?" Mizu: "Thank you. No one has yet deserved my blade."
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And then, more crucially, who does she actually allow to wield her blade? The first person she spars with? It is none other than Mikio, her husband.
She literally passes him her sword, letting him wield it for the rest of their fight, taking his naginata in exchange. Not purely a crossing of blades, but an exchange of it. Mizu is literally baring her soul to him and putting it in his hands.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
In the whole show, the only other time we actually see someone besides Mizu holding her sword is after Mizu kills the Four Fangs and passes out from her wounds. Ringo picks the unconscious Mizu up, and in the process, her sword slips from her hand.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And then, resisting his selfish quest to reclaim his honour, Taigen tells Ringo a safe place for Mizu to recover and follows them both there, but not before he takes Mizu's sword, and also Chiaki's broken blade.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It is brief, but he does hold it, and the shot focusing on his hand picking it up places further emphasis on this fact.
Now, about the broken blade, @saessenach told me something very interesting, which is that when Mizu had helped craft this sword, it was made for the man she believed Chiaki was. And who exactly is that again? Let's go over the cover story he related to Master Eiji:
"I am not a swordsman. I bind books. I was taught my trade by... my father. He was killed by a drunk ronin, who cut my father down for splashing him with his cart. This ronin is a drunk, but he is skilled as I am not. He will kill me. I know this. But with a sword from you, Master, I can take his life as he takes mine. And die avenged."
So, as @saessenach so aptly put it, the broken blade "was made for a man who wanted to regain his honour from a stronger swordsman. He doesn't expect to survive the duel, but would just like to die with honour."
And doesn't that sound familiar? Like Taigen, a man who would also like to regain his honour by duelling a swordsman stronger than himself? Taigen, who had also come from nothing, who was raised not to be a samurai, but a humble fisherman, by his father who is now dead?
So of course that's why, when Taigen wields that broken blade, despite not even knowing the story behind it, Ringo unwittingly glimpses it anyway, and says this:
"Master Eiji's broken blade is a good fit for him."
Mizu just shrugs and frowns, refusing to accept it, because the sword isn't just bearing Master Eiji's signature, but also hers. A part of her is in this sword, just as a part of her is in all the blades she makes (though none of them are her soul, which is represented only by her meteorite sword).
But then later, after fighting together and barely making it out from the chasm of arrows alive, after seeing each other's skills, only then does she admit to Taigen:
"The broken blade fits well in your hand."
Which is why she (after knocking Taigen out and leaving him lying in the snow LMAO) leaves him with the broken blade, and again comments on how it "so well fits his hand."
Also, on the topic of the broken blade, why did it break again? Well, Mizu is one of the sword's makers, signing her name on it, thus putting a little of her soul into it as I already mentioned. According to Master Eiji, this process of the soul entering the sword occurs during the yaki-ire:
"The yaki-ire is when metal is reborn, and the soul enters the sword. All must be pure for the sword to be pure. The metal, the maker, the one to wield it."
As this process unfolds, this conversation happens:
Eiji: "Mizu. Is your mind clear?" Mizu: "It is." Eiji: "Mizu. Is your soul at rest?" Mizu: "It is."
However, after Master Eiji presents Mizu with the finished sword, it breaks, much to Mizu's disheartenment.
Chiaki: [About the blade being broken] "How could this happen?" Eiji: [...] "An unexpected element entered the blade." [...] Mizu: "The fault is mine. The element is me."
Mizu is right; she is "the unexpected element" that broke the blade, but not because of her race, nor her gender, but because her mind is not clear, and her soul is not at rest.
Why? Because the yaki-ire takes place right after she binds for the first time; she is in pain both physically and mentally, ashamed of who and what she is, hiding her true self, trying to smother an inherent part of her identity.
Then, about Bloodsoaked Chiaki wielding a sword which is broken, Master Eiji says this,
"A soul like that is drowned in blood. There is no stopping them. They will always find their broken blade."
This parallels Mizu breaking her blade after her rampage through the nine levels of Shindo and Fowler's fortress, after she gets literally soaked in blood.
Tumblr media
After storming the fortress, her blade, too, is broken, and she is unable to melt it down and repair it.
Master Eiji: "Your sword broke because the blend was wrong." Mizu: "It was perfect." Master Eiji: "It was too pure. Your metal wants to be blended with new steel."
The sword, as, Mizu's soul, houses all the rage that has festered over the years. The purity of its meteorite steel represents her single-minded, hate-driven goal for vengeance.
On that note, it's interesting to remember that the meteor fell in front of Mizu during her confrontation with Taigen and his gang of bullies. That encounter was the beginning of her rage, the moment she stopped running and hiding, and instead fought back, clawing and throwing herself at the people who mistreated her. The meteorite thus represents her anger, her fighting spirit, her resistance.
Over time, she crafts her sword--her soul--purely out of this anger, and sets off on her revenge quest.
Of course, she then meets her mother, gets married to Mikio, and after their betrayals, Mizu once again resumes her quest.
But after her journey seeking Fowler, after meeting Ringo and Taigen and Akemi, Mizu's soul no longer feels singularly bound to her hate. She's made friends, she's starting to let people in, but she still suppresses those feelings, still insisting that she is just an Onryo, that she has no room for love or friendship or weakness, despite the fact that those are things her soul craves and needs deep down. She needs gentleness and respite, she needs to allow herself to be vulnerable and allow herself to love again, because she's not a demon--or at least not completely.
"There may be a demon in you..."
When Master Eiji says this to Mizu, he's not insulting her; by demon here, what he is referencing is the part of Mizu that is capable of great wrath and violence. Just like a demon is.
"...But there is more."
Mizu is still a human being. And she should let herself be one, should allow herself to feel more than just rage, but also joy, grief, love, and even pain.
"If you do not invite the whole, the demon takes two chairs."
So that's when she finally allows herself to start "allowing the whole"; she stands in front of the fire completely naked, no longer suppressing her true self, and melts the metal of those she collected, which are, in order,
Tumblr media
the broken blade that now represents Taigen;
Tumblr media
Akemi's knife;
Tumblr media
Ringo's bell;
Tumblr media
and Master Eiji's tongs.
These are people whom she cares about, who compel her to open herself up and see beyond her hate, who make her feel like she is capable of being more than just a demon.
By blending their steel into her future sword, she is accepting them, and the lessons and values they had taught her along the way, into her soul.
But as it stands now, Mizu does not have that sword. Not yet, for it's yet to be forged, as she gives the blended metal to Master Eiji.
Mizu: "If I succeed [to kill Fowler] and am still alive, I will return. And you can determine if I am worthy of a sword of this metal, made by your hand."
Which is why, in the finale, Mizu only fights with a random assortment of weapons she picks up (a sword, a naginata, a gun--but never shoots it--and the dagger Fowler stabs her with).
And then of course, Fowler drops the big reveals about Skeffington and Routeley; about her birth mother having been killed by one of the white men; about her Mama actually being a maid who was paid to keep her hidden.
With all this, there is so much she's still yet to know about who she is, who her parents are, and her identity is left hanging. So she leaves Japan not only to kill the remaining white men, but also to discover more about herself and her heritage--her white half. And this also mirrors the way she looks at the very end:
Tumblr media
her hair grown out, her bangs identical to how she looked as a child; no longer wearing a scarf around her neck, no longer covering a part of herself.
Thus, Mizu will eventually receive her new sword that matches the new state of her soul, made of steel that "could kill a god."
But for now, she needs to understand who she really is, to discover the full breadth and complexities of the metal that made her, and the hidden depths within herself. In doing so, she must also learn to accept her anger as a tool, but cannot let it control her lest she become a demon; thus, she must allow herself to love as much as she hates, and most of all, simply let herself be.
Only then, can she claim her sword--her soul.
382 notes · View notes
livelovecaliforniadreams · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jenna Well, that scene at the desk where Jim comes really close to Pam. I remember when we were shooting this, that this is the first time that our characters had been in one another's intimate, personal space in a really long time. 
Angela And not only was he in her sort of close proximity. But he was gentle. He kneeled down. He was next to her. He was being earnest. There was a connection between the two of them in that moment that we haven't seen in many episodes. 
Jenna He was being Jim. He was being old Jim. All of the posturing of Athlead was gone, and he was being the guy that she fell in love with. 
Angela That's right. 
Jenna And it was very moving to me. And it was hard for me to not kind of melt in that moment as Pam, you know, because she's wanted this for a really long time. So this was a really fun scene to play. It had a lot of levels. And then it leads to the scene in the parking lot. Pam decides to run out and give Jim his umbrella. 
Angela And he hugs her. And I wrote this to you, Jenna. We were trading texts. I said, Jim hugs Pam like she's the last life preserver on the Titanic. He grabbed on to her. 
Jenna He does. And this is just such a beautiful scene. Pam is resistant at first, and he just will not let her go until she breaks down that wall. And she hugs him back and they kiss and they say, I love you. 
Angela I teared up. 
Jenna I know, and they have this flashback to their wedding of Jim's brother, you know, reading from Corinthians. And you know, that footage didn't exist. We had to bring Blake Robbins in and set up the church, just that one corner of the church. And he had to do that reading. We shot that just for this episode. All the other footage was footage that we already had from that episode. But this was really beautiful. You know, we had a fan question from Marie R in Omaha, Nebraska, who said, In the last scene where Jim and Pam hug and then kiss and remember their wedding, I noticed that it was in the parking lot where Jim first professed his love for Pam on Casino night. Was this intentional or just a coincidence? Marie. This was intentional. It's there. It's happening in the same spot. This is such a wonderful book ends for their story. Kind of the first moment that Jim said, I'm in love with you. And then here in the parking lot again to save the marriage. It's just really beautiful writing. 
Angela Yeah. 
Jenna And we talked about this too, Angela. You see in that moment, the way John Krasinski, as Jim swoops down to get to Pam's level for that hug. That is a classic John Krasinski hugging move. We've talked about this before. He gives the best hugs. 
Angela He gives such great hugs. He is just like that cozy blanket that makes you feel better. 
Jenna I know. 
Angela I just love now that he's a dad and has little girls because I know he hugs them like that, you know? 
Jenna I know! I thought the same thing! 
Angela That's the hug you want. That's the hug that makes everything feel like it's going to be okay. 
Jenna Yes. And it is that kind of hug. When he gives you a hug, it is like, oh my gosh, what was that bad day that I was having? Everything is going to be fine. 
128 notes · View notes
starleska · 18 days ago
Note
Rolando x Reader headcanons? You know you want to 😤
oh my god YESSSSSSS i would be delighted!!! 🙈🙈💖💖💖 warning, this one is a teensy bit NSFW, of the 'Rolando would quite like to devour you, mind and body' variety 😉 tws for canon-compliant fearmongering, fearplay, invasive behaviour, mild body horror and and general monsterfucking 👀 (i mean, y'all saw the episode, you know what you're in for-)
Rolando x Human!Reader headcanons 🐟💖
Tumblr media
🐟 the people who darken the door of the One Star Wonder are always at the end of their tether, and Rolando wouldn't have it any other way. each one is more pathetic than the last: delicious morsels dripping with depression, anxiety and jealousy, and their bubble-headed selves all caught up in their oh-so-human concerns. Rolando greets each one with the same greasy charm, yet he makes sure to flavour his guests with just one too many inhuman gaffes. an incorrect turn of phrase here, a flash of too many teeth there, and before long, he has successfully unsettled his meat. so the night You step over the threshold and greet him with a warm, unknowing smile, he grinned right back, sure of a particularly tasty meal.
🐟 "Well, aren't you a precious little thing!" Rolando cooed, working in a lascivious gaze in the hopes of making You squirm. You stammered out a flustered thanks, and asked him if he had a room for the night. Rolando was dizzy; he could smell the indecision on You like pheromones, those little top notes of apprehension and fear, and it was all he could do to not clamber into your brain right then and there. "I've got just the room for you, dear, right at the back. And don't let anyone here give you shit under my watch. How abouts I escort you there myself? I'd hate for some filthy pervert to gobble you up along the way." before You could protest Rolando slipped around the desk, pressed a spindly claw into the small of your back and ushered You down a damp, ill-lit hallway.
🐟 as he guided You under the broken lights, Rolando's piscine gaze drank in the contours of your form. he'd played carnal games with humans before—desperate creatures that they were, their strangled whines as pleasure bled into pain never failed to amuse him. yet he'd never been so struck by the beauty of your kind. "So, what brings you to my malign establishment?" Rolando asked, as he carded his fingers through your hair. You shivered, but didn't pull away...a response which confused Rolando, but gave his Infestor heart a quiet thrill. You told him that you'd been kicked out of your home, and electricity shot down his back. he couldn't wait any longer. "Poor love...how could anyone be so cruel? Don't you worry your pretty little head. Tonight...you're all mine." 🐟 the few remaining lights in the hallway burst, and Rolando slipped into the blackness. You cried out in confusion as something cold and wet seized around your ankle and yanked You to the floor. chilling laughter echoed around the hallway, where it reverberated off impossible dimensions, like the hotel had yawned open to swallow You. "Oh, aren't you a hoot?" Rolando cackled. "Such fear...such excitement...what a delectable combination." Rolando's yellow-green eyes flashed in the dark, and the deathly edges of his teeth glimmered with saliva. You tried to run, but he dissolved into the dark and snatched at your shadow, tripping you with ease. Rolando's inky, gelatinous form drooled up your side and pinned You to the floor by the wrists, neck, and ankles.
🐟 "Running ain't the smartest move, sweetheart..." Rolando hissed, "...but boy, is it fun!" his monstrous tongue curled around your earlobe and invaded the delicate flesh of your ear itself, lapping in a way far too wet and obscene. You curled in on yourself, trying to make yourself small enough to escape, but Rolando's invertebrate form slipped between your joints and stretched out your limbs until it hurt. one dirty yellow light flickered into life above You and illuminated Rolando's sickly smirk. "Golly," said Rolando, putting his head on one side. "By now, normally I've got 'em screaming and wailing...but save a few sweet little sounds, you're quiet as a mouse." he wrapped himself around your face and breathed a blasphemy against your lips: "If I didn't know better...I'd say you're rather enjoying this." 🐟 a litany of protests tumbled from your mouth, but all they did was make Rolando laugh harder. "Don't deny it, sugar! I see everything tucked up inside that nasty little brain of yours...and fear ain't winning this race, honey." a nail as sharp as a blade tucked itself under your chin, and curled, tilting your face up to his. in the dark, Rolando's smile gleamed with bad intentions. "Tell you what...how about we play a game? You try to keep those lovely lips of yours shut..." a slight sting, and Rolando draws back his claw to admire a rivulet of blood. "...and I see how long it takes to make you scream."
65 notes · View notes