#episode one has so many beautiful shots of the island!!!

[kdramakitty]

N no tame ni (2014) Episode 1

[snowywolf1005]

KOBY X PIRATE READER

EPISODE: 1114

You and koby are surrounded by pirates. You got shot on your arm. "This is... too many... plus, this shackle... isn't there any way to survive?" Koby thought.

"This is it, (Y/N)! Hand over koby!"

"I'll be taking that bounty!"

"Fire!"

They're about to shoot you. koby, grab your waist and pull you up to get away from the bullet, but no. The pirates shoot you up high, but all of a sudden, the bullet turns to flowers.

"What the fuck?!" You said, the pirates were so shock, "what? What? What? It's beautiful! Wait, no! What the hell is this?!" They shout. "Why did a flower come out of the muzzle?!"

It is revealed that Hibari used one of Vegapunk's inventions, Flower Bullets, to transform the bounty hunters' gunpowder into flowers. "(Y/N)! Koby!" You and koby turn around to see.

"Get over here! Wait, no! I didn't. I didn't mean anything weird!" Said Hibari, "Hibari! Right at time! You did that?!" You said, asking about the flower.

"That's right! I shot flower bullets, the flowers that bloom out of gunpowder! The enemies can't use their weapons! Get away quickly while you can!" She said.

On the rooftop, Prince picks up the call from tashigi, "Prince! Any progress?" Tashigi called. "Yeah, our task has just been completed. (Y/N) has koby safely, too!" He says.

"My mud puppets are not so easy to take down. I'll keep them busy fighting out there. The pirates can't get anywhere near the open area."

"What are these bastard?!" One of pirate shots, "and... they can't escape from there, either!" Said Prince. "H-hey... Has this open area always been shaped like this?"

The pirates watch the building move on their own, realizing they're trapped. All because kujaku, devil fruit power. "See, you can do it if you try. Now, whenever you're ready!" She said.

"I was able to contact Prince! It's all ready! Vice admiral grap!" Said tashigi, grap smile. "Come to the dead center!" Prince shouts, "everyone, hang onto something!" Said Helmeppo.

"Charge!" Grap said, he launches his ship into the air with his fist, then rides the ship onto the island. "C'mon! Hurry up!" Said Hibari, koby was about to climb the ladder but stopped.

"(Y/N), they're come to rescue me, didn't they?" He ask, you're so confused, "yes, of course! They did! Didn't I tell you?!" You shout. "Ah! Sorry!" He says, and koby was about to cry.

"Okay! Let's get out of here!" He said, then koby turned around to see the group of pirates seem terrified. "Look up!" They shout, koby look up and was wide eye.

You smile, "took these bastard long enough." Of grap ship flying. "What?!" Koby shout, so as the pirate.

"A naval ship is flying up there!"

"Why?! How's that possible?!"

"Who's on it?!"

"Isn't it... falling towards us?"

"R-run!" They scream, "wait! Koby!" You said chasing Koby as he ran to the ship. "No way! I thought he retired!" Grap laugh.

"Koby! I'm here to save you!" He said the pirates try to run, but they couldn't. The building blocks all open areas. "Hey, you damn pirates!" Grap yelled.

"He's coming! Run!" Grap, jump on the air, making a fist, and he laughs. "Vice admiral grap... why?! I'm not worthy enough to save..." said koby, that makes you pissed.

"You fools! Who do you think you have kidnapped?!" Garp shout, his fist glows brightly, making everyone scared for their lives. "Koby is the future of the navy! And... he's also my beloved pupi!" He said, making Koby almost cry.

"Galaxy... impact!" Grap, make a big explosion, making the building break. The pirates fly up in the air, and you grab koby tight as you two fly up high.

You landed safety. "Geez... does he ever know he'll get us killed?!" You said he almost killed you two. Grap landed safety with his ship.

"If we don't run, it'll crash into us!" You and koby were shocked to see, "Why did he come to beehive?!" Said koby. Prince uses his devil fruit power to catch grap ship, "cumulo-glorpus!" The mud catches the ship. Pirates were all passed out.

"He destroyed the town with a single blow..." said koby, "he still does that crazy stuff." said Hibari. "No wonder he just like luffy," you said, "damn grap! He's insane!"

"I'll make that geezer pay!"

"Don't move, you pirates!" Said Helmeppo, with the group of navy aimed their gun. "Just obey us! Resistance will result in further damage! Put your weapons down!" He shouted.

"I'm not satisfied... I'm off my game." Said garp, "screw you! What's that I-could-do-better attitude after causing this much destruction?!"

"We can't take any more damage!"

"Vice admiral garp!" Garp, turn to see you, koby, and Hibari running. "Oh, koby! (Y/N), thank you for saving koby!" He said, "well it no biggie. We did go to trouble!" You said, smiling.

Then Helmeppo see koby, "koby, that fool... I'm so relieved! He didn't get killed! Thank you, (Y/N)!" Helmeppo cried. "Koby-kun, I'm glad that you're okay. Goowork, everyone. " Said tashigi.

"Geez... he overlooked it. Garp is a bad boy!" Said kujaku, "garp-san said koby's the future of the navy. It's unforgivable! I'll drag him down!" Said Prince.

"You've got to do those things in secret. You spoiled brat! So cute. Koby is so lucky to have a sexy woman." Said kujaku, "hey! Koby!" Koby, look at the ship to see the navy soldiers yelling his name.

"Everyone!" He said, then he saw tashigi and Helmeppo, who was crying. "Koby-kun! Come on! Let's go home!" She said, "Helmeppo-san! Tashigi-san! Even those who are not SWORD members.."

"Everyone likes you, koby!" Said Hibari, then garp noticed koby Chain on his leg. "Why are you carrying that, koby? Looks like it's hard to run with it." He said.

"Vice admiral garp! We can't get the shackle removed... and we didn't know what to do! Please... do... some... thin'..." Hibari was frozen in ice. You were shocked to see, and you know who it is.

"Hibari!"

"Hibari-san!" You catch Hibari with your shadows abilities, even though you badly wounded. Everyone was surprised. Garp, look at kuzan with a glare.

"You fools... what do you think you have done?" He said, "kuzan." Said garp. "Kuzan-san! What are you doing?! Thaw out Hibari-san!" Koby shout.

"He's aokiji!"

"Captain kuzan!" The pirates cheered, "Kuzan-san! I'm begging you!" Koby beg, "it no use." Said grap. "Don't get me into trouble, koby. I can't have you running off... while Teach is away." Said kuzan.

After losing a duel against Sakazuki for the position of Marine Fleet Admiral, Kuzan resigned from the Marines as he was unwilling to serve under him. Shortly after resigning, he encountered Blackbeard Pirates on an island in the New World and battled them, ultimately encasing many of them in ice.

When Blackbeard appeared with his captains, he immediately recognized and confronted Kuzan.

[shadowjax]

The Dragon’s Blade

That Beach Episode A03

Natasha Romanoff x reader/oc Oneshot

Warnings: little angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

A/N: This has to be one of my longest fics haha.

*Shares are appreciated* 5k Words

“Pack your things, guys, I just got out of a meeting with Fury and persuaded him into giving us the day off.” Tony paraded into the lounge, Morgan following right behind, dressed like they were ready to go to a tropical island. With the clap of his hands, a video of the beach played on the TV.

“Hey.” Morgan shot Tony an annoyed look and crossed her arms.

“Ok. Ok. This little rascal did all the work with her puppy eyes.” 

“Tony it’s almost noon, any place remotely tropical is hours away. Even by jet.” Bruce was seated on the couch, now annoyed his show had been turned off. He and Vison were in the middle of watching an old sitcom that Wanda had recommended.

“Which is why we’re staying overnight at a condo I just so happen to have bought years ago.” 

“Love the idea but who will take care of the city while we are gone,” Steve commented, who was in the middle of a card game with Vision, Sam, and Bucky. 

“None other than our junior counterparts, of course. C’mon, guys get packing, the jet leaves in two hours.” After scooping his child onto his shoulders, Tony exited the room, their laughter echoing throughout the hallway. Recently the tower had become a bit more crowded with all the newest recruits like Kate, Cassie, and Kamala. 

“Ohhhhh, I love building sandcastles. Now that I think about it, you’ve never been to the beach have you.” Wanda stood beside you while the two of you cleaned up from making the group breakfast. 

“No, I haven’t, it’s on my list of places to take Nat though so this works out. I hope it's too crowded with tourists but knowing Tony we’ll be on our own private sector...” 

After temporarily scarring the newest recruits during your first encounter, you realized it was time to find a solution to heal the scars across your face. The main problem was that while the serum in your veins could heal new wounds, it couldn’t fix the scars from injuries you had before it was injected. Over the past several months, you have undergone a series of procedures with Dr. Lee to improve the appearance of the scars on your face. Although certain scars may still be visible, the once vivid pink marks have now blended more effectively with your natural skin tone. This has significantly reduced their prominence, resulting in a much less noticeable appearance overall. 

“I’m glad to see the scars are healing, the doc sure knows what she’s doing. Speaking of beaches, in my opinion, they are a great place to propose to someone. Say a particular redhead.” Wanda’s eyebrows danced momentarily, causing you almost to drop a plate. “I know you’ve been thinking about it, I can see the pictures playing in your head. You practically project them!” 

“Wanda I know you mean the best, but please. It’s only a thought.” When you were younger, there were numerous things you never imagined yourself doing. Reflecting on those times now, an uncomfortable pit seems to form in your stomach when you think back on the past.

“A thought you have entertained for 3 months and many hours throughout the day.” You glanced at the ring Vision had given Wanda when he proposed. It was well crafted and clearly, Vison spent a lot of time working on the perfect design for her. A while back, you had a conversation with him about how he chose the design and gem for the ring, knowing he was the only one capable of keeping such a secret. 

Dr. Lee placed an arm around both you and Wanda’s shoulders, gently stepping in to join the conversation. “Believe me when I tell you, kid, there is nothing better than knowing you share a special bond with the one you love the most. Knowing only the two of you share this bond, to spend the rest of your lives as equals. Heck, I never thought I’d survive being a war nurse but here I am. Ring and all, with a beautiful woman I call wife.” 

“I think both of you need a new murder show to binge rather than prodding into my life.” Your comment led to a smack on the back of your head from Lee. “Well, when the world isn’t inanimate danger, what does a married woman in her late thirties do with her time, especially when she has a stable, well-paying job?" The conversation quickly ended, knowing neither of them had a good comeback, leaving you last in the dining room though packing wasn’t a tedious task for you.

~~~~

“You’re already packed, for the both of us?” You walked into Nat’s room to find a small suitcase packed, a part of you wondered if she already had this packed because she was planning something as well. “I can’t tell if you already had a getaway planned, not that I am against it.”

“Well someone had to place the thought in Morgan’s head and I knew Fury would cave. Who can say no to her.” She was dressed in mid-thigh denim shorts paired with a white and light blue striped shirt, which had a turn-down collar and was tucked in at the front. The top was left slightly unbuttoned, revealing a hint of a black two-piece bathing suit underneath. 

“My eyes are up here,” she teased with a playful smile. “You’re staring again—everything okay?” She took a seat on her bed, facing you as she gathered her hair and secured it into a half-ponytail.

“Nothing to worry about, I’m just admiring you.” You gently placed your hand in hers to guide her into a spin, then wrapped your arms around her from behind. Resting your head on her shoulder, you took in the pleasant scent of strawberries that surrounded her. 

“Are you sure, you’re behaving clingy?” She placed her hands over yours and squeezed them. 

“Do you think Clint and his family will be joining us?” Ever since the battle and his family returned, he immediately retired which was understandable. Never wanting to be away from them again. He and his family will make an appearance for any holiday events the team hosts together. When Kate first moved in to the Tower, Clint was there to help her adjust and train.

“No, he’s busy with the new livestock on the farm. Last I called he was talking about getting a couple of horses.” She squeezed your hands, “As much as I don’t want to move, we should get on the jet so we can get good seating.”

~~~

On the jet, you tried to catch up on some reading but ended up thinking about what Wanda and Lee said earlier. You could feel Wanda’s stare burning through your soul, knowing full well you were mentally projecting images aloud to her.

“I just realized something, you’ve never been to the beach right?” Nat leaned her head on your shoulder while pointing to the ocean below. 

“Oi heads up kid.” Maria threw something that hit you in the head. Upon further investigation, it was a pair of blue shorts with sharks wearing sunglasses. 

“They’re meant for the ocean so you won’t ruin your clothes,” Nat said in between her laughter. 

“Ooo I almost forgot.” Maria tossed a matching 2 piece outfit on Nat’s lap. Wanda and Dr.Lee tried to hide their laughter while Nat threatened the three. 

The jet landed near a giant condo located just a few miles away from the local tourist spot. It didn’t take long for people to start setting up and diving into the water. Thankfully, you had packed an extra black tank top, although you still felt somewhat exposed with so much of your skin exposed to the blazing sun. You hadn’t realized how pale you were until now. You weren't the biggest fan of sand, it made walking uncomfortable. It made your skin dry and got everywhere. Bits of water sprayed in the air after the waves crashed against the shore, the water was a clear blue. 

You and Nat set up your area close to where the girls had settled, while the guys were already making a splash in the water. Some of them were sporting some matching flamingo floaties around their waists, reflecting one Pepper had Morgan wear when she went into the swimming. You applied a layer of sunscreen, the liquid was cold to the touch. 

“Hey, once you’re done, be a dear and put some sunscreen on my back.” Nat removed her regular clothes, revealing a simple black two-piece swimsuit she was wearing underneath. 

You tried not to stare too much, unable to handle your teammate's teasing about how “head over heels you were”. One of the guys had called you a “simp” before and still to this day you have no idea what it meant, whenever you asked they’d simply laugh in your face. Even the women laughed at your naivete. In all honestly she was beautiful no matter what time of the day, your heart felt like it would leap out of its chest. 

“You’re gonna burn up easily with such pale skin. Let me help you with that.” Bruce transformed into the Hulk moments ago, his hand was big enough to wrap around your entire body and tossed you straight into the ocean. To say your friendship with him was strained would be an understatement. Ever since you and Nat started dating he had become distant, not that you two were ever close to begin with. Neither of you have common interests and with your pitiful social skills, neither of you talk.

“What-”

Your protest was cut short as you fell face-first into the water. Fortunately, he hadn’t thrown you too far into the deep end, and just as you found your footing, a massive wave crashed over you, sweeping you back toward the shore. You could hear the others laugh while you were recovering from the wave knocking you down. Before you were able to regroup with the others on the shore Morgan dragged you into whatever game she was playing with the others and as much as you wanted to kick Bruce’s ass, but were too distracted by whatever game you were being dragged into.

When the sun began to set, Morgan finally set you free. Thor had set up a small bonfire for everyone to gather around. He assisted Pepper in cooking hotdogs and hamburgers over the fire accompanied with some mead that Thor had brought. Maria and Dr.Lee passed around this coconut drink for those who couldn’t handle mead. You sat next to Nat who moved her seat a bit further away from the rest of the group. 

“You’ve fought off some of Earth’s greatest enemies, yet are tiered out by a child.” She failed to hide her laughter. She stopped laughing when she turned to look at your condition. You were covered in sand, your hair was very disheveled, and there were dark lines underneath your eyes. 

“Would you mind if we headed back to the house?” 

Before sitting down you had begun to feel nauseous and the moment you sat down you felt a wave of exhaustion hit you. Maybe it was the spiked coconut drink mixed with the hours of sun, the stress of a proposal, or the sand when you were ready to go to bed. You held onto Nat for balance as the two of you left the beach. Some of your teammates are throwing a mischievous smile your way. You concluded that you hated sand. It makes your skin and hair dry, as well as rubbing in the wrong places under your beach attire. Thankfully Nat helped you out of your outfit while you waited for the bath water to warm. You noticed a difference between the skin that was hidden under your clothes. Once the bath salts dissolved the room began to smell like lilac. Your body melted the moment you were submerged in the water. 

Nat sat on the side of the bath and started to wash your hair. You started to fall asleep while her fingers scrubbed the shampoo in your hair, causing you to lean more towards the side. 

“I may need to get checked by the doctor eventually. I shouldn’t be this wiped out.” The serum in your body usually does a good job of keeping you healthy at all times. 

“I think you just need a good night's sleep.” You started to doze off and the last thing you remember you were being dried off and being tucked into bed. You pleaded with her to return the gesture and help her relax before bed and she reassured you she would be alright. Once you were under the sheets you immediately fell asleep. Nat eventually joined you in bed, wrapping her arms tightly around you.

~~~

You awoke to a gentle light illuminating the room, turning your head to see the clock read 6 am. Vacation or not you knew people would be waking up soon. Luckily Nat was a heavy sleeper so slipping out of bed was easy. You tried to make breakfast, t r i e d. Your mind was a bit preoccupied with the lingering thoughts of marriage. Two nearly burned eggs, untoasted bread, and a few burn marks later you heard footsteps approaching. A bush of embarrassment began to trace your face.

“Soooooo, how’s my favorite birdie doing…making the future wife breakfast in bed I see.” Tony walked right past the mess and started to brew coffee.

“Not you too.” You searched the cabarets for utensils and a tray to carry everything on. 

“Aaaa you’re having a wedding!” Morgan gasped and quickly ran over to you. 

“Calm down sweetie, let the grownups wake up first.” Pepper followed suit and started searching the cabinets for plates as well. 

You knelt to Morgan’s height, “I haven’t asked your aunt Nat anything yet so please keep this to yourself. You wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise now.” Pepper handed her daughter some plates and utensils to help set the table. 

“I’m glad to see my baby bird leave the nest.” Tony turned you around to meet his level, even though he was the taller one. 

“Since when was I ever in the nest?” You could feel your mind becoming more distracted by bird facts instead of the more important topic on hand. “I think I understand what you are trying to say.”

“First a social life, then a girlfriend, now a possible fiancé. It feels like yesterday we rescued you from HYDRA.” Pepper smacked him upside the head with a towel for the last comment.

“I’m sorry, possible.” You gesture with air quotes. Another worry to add to the pile. 

“Hey hey, I see those gears turning. I’ll just take my coffee and go work on something.” Tony made a quick exit, leaving you with Pepper and Morgan. 

“It’s alright to feel nervous, it’s a big step forward. I’m sure she’ll say yes. Also, you don’t need any grand gestures, it’s best to be honest and speak from the heart.” It wasn’t like you were planning on anything big anyway. 

“You make Aunty Natty very happy, I know she’ll say yes.” 

“I appreciate it guys. Now if you don’t mind. I need to go patch up my hands and…” you looked at the pathetic attempt at food you made, “get this upstairs.” 

Feeling nervous means behind all that doubt, a strong part of you wants it. Right? 

—

You quietly entered the shared room and found Nat stretching in bed. “Morning. I’m sorry the breakfast is not up to standards. I didn’t know how to use the toaster so I used the burner then my hands…” You set the tray aside on the bedside table and revealed your injured hands to her. A few blisters were beginning to form. 

“And no one was in the kitchen to witness this?” The two of you made your way to the bathroom, Nat placed some clear gel on your blisters and warped a bandage over them. You sat on the countertop while she patched you up.

“Tony, Pepper, and Morgan walked in after the whole thing. She offered to help but I didn’t want to embarrass myself any further.” You were staring a bit too long, her tangled hair and loose pajamas caused your heart to race. Ever since the battle with Thanos, she’s been more relaxed now that there’s been a new team of heroes to take care of the world as well.

She appears much happier and healthier now. The stress from those five years had affected her both mentally and physically. Her hair is now fuller and more noticeable than ever, and she has chosen to keep it just below her shoulders. Maintaining proper sleep and a balanced diet was challenging at first, but over time, she came to understand their importance. 

“You’re staring again.” You tried to turn your blushing face away but before you could she stopped you by placing a hand over your cheek. She gently rubbed over the scars by your mouth, your head nestling on her. “What’s been on your mind, I’ve noticed you have been spacing out more than usual.” 

“The change in scenery has got me thinking. When I was still with HYDRA, I never thought I’d see the sun. Let alone find people who want me around for more than my skills. I thought I’d be alone until the day I die, like…” Your sobs cut off before you mentioned your sister's name, and guilt washed over. “I’m sorry. Does the guilt ever… go away?” Looking in the mirror became easier but every once in a while, you’d feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Especially since you’ve let your hair grow out, you were sort of glad the scars would never completely fade. 

“Take a deep breath with me.” The two of you closed your eyes and began the breathing technique Dr.Lee walked through with you. Your right hand fell onto hers which was still placed over your cheek and the other traced the marble countertop underneath you. Nat leaned in, her head resting on your chest and her shampoo filling your scent. Her hair was soft beneath your chin. She wrapped her free arm around your waist, pulling you in tightly while you calmed down. “You’ve escaped. You are no longer in that place.” she quietly repeated. 

“Thanks.” was all you could say, your head resting on top of hers. After you both calmed down, you suggested finding a place for breakfast, admitting that she deserved better than your sad attempt at cooking earlier.

~~~~

You both spent the rest of the day exploring the local town and enjoying some more satisfying food. She was dressed in an adorable strawberry-red summer dress, featuring a pleated neckline that fell gracefully just above mid-thigh. Today, she had let her hair fall naturally, adding to the effortless charm of her outfit. You opted for a more understated look, wearing a simple navy button-up shirt adorned with sailboats, tucked neatly into a pair of black shorts.

You felt anxious about being in a public space, but thankfully, Nat was there to keep you steady.  keep you grounded. As you ventured out, a few derogatory comments were hurled in Nat’s direction. You tried to brush them off and act like they didn’t affect you, even though inside you were seething. You wanted nothing more than to retaliate, to drive your sword into the spine of the man who had practically called you ugly. The insecurity gnawed at you, making you question if you were truly good enough for Nat. The idea of marrying her now feels like a cruel joke, something that could never actually come to pass. The emptiness in your stomach returned with a vengeance, an unsettling reminder of your self-doubt. Thankfully the situation took a turn for the better once Steve and Bucky approached you guys. You weren't able to ignore this lingering, snide remark about how Nat was with one of your friends instead of you, coming off as if they had gotten things wrong. Despite their departure, the sting of their words remained, casting a shadow over your day.

The two pulled you off to the side for a moment. “So Wanda and the doc filled us in on everything.” They both trapped you between them, an arm wrapped around each shoulder. “So for the wedding, can we be the flower guys?” 

“Bucky, that isn’t why we pulled them aside.” 

“Listen, Stevie, Tony didn’t include us, neither did Wanda nor Maria.” 

“Ok is that all you guys wanted to talk about? Because I don’t know if that’s up to me.” 

“No that’s not the reason, Buck. We just wanted to say we’re proud of you. I know we had a rough start but you have impressed me these last few years. On a related note, there’s this jewelry store down the block where you both can make custom rings together. Wanda mentioned you were having trouble picking one out.” The two left, off to do who knows what.

There was still an emptiness in your gut, when Nat placed a hand on your shoulder you ignored that feeling and focused all attention on her. The two of you continued to walk the streets hand in hand. A few hours of shopping later you gained enough courage to ask Nat to check out the jewelry store the guys recommended. The shop was run by a nice elderly couple who were more than happy to help you create a set of rings. You both explored a range of metals and finishes before making your choices, opting to engrave the date of your first date inside both rings. Nat decided on a delicate, thin circular band in rose gold with a polished finish, which beautifully highlighted its elegant simplicity. In contrast, you selected a slightly thicker tungsten band with a satin finish, giving it a more understated yet durable appeal. 

Nat chatted away with the couple while you sat silently, which wasn’t uncommon. You were horrible at making small talk, as much as you like to think you have improved over the past few years. The normal topic about how the two of you met came up and from then on Nat told them an abridged version. She left out the part about the two of you working as “superheroes” and the fact that your job has nearly killed both of you. Instead of listening to the conversation, you found yourself watching Nat. Speaking so openly and freely about something she felt so deeply about, she was mesmerizing. 

“And that’s how we ended up here, it’s sort of a spur-in-the-moment vacation. Although I am glad we were able to take a break, sometimes planning can be so time-consuming especially when our schedules keep us very busy.” 

“You two seem like such a lovely pair, I’m so happy to have shared this moment with you two. Alright, the polish has been set, try them on.” 

Both of you were given the other's rings, you slid the newly crafted rose gold band around Nat’s finger. Markings of old blisters, cuts, and burns scattered all over her hands from her years of battle. Her nails and the skin around her finally healed after the stress she was under during the 5-year blip. Her breath paused for a moment when you slid the band on her finger as if she was holding back a wave of emotion. 

After setting the ring you placed a gentle kiss on her hand, your thumb running over the smooth ring. You weren’t sure how either of you kept your composure, she repeated your actions after placing your ring on. The moment was broken the moment another customer walked in, the bell knocking you out of your trance and back to reality. That worrying pit surfacing again. 

“Natasha, won’t you be a dear and help an old woman out with this order?” The elderly woman led Nat to the back. 

“I can see the gears turning.” The older man leaned on the counter, standing just a few feet away from your face. “The more you overthink, the more you are prolonging the question. I will not charge you anything if you pop the question tonight.” 

“I…” His request felt so sudden, was it really that obvious? If so then there is no way Nat has no idea what is going on in your mind. If so then why hasn’t she brought it up?

“She’s waiting for you, just open up to her and be honest. You’ll feel much better in the end.” His words lingered in your mind far longer than you wished.

~~~

Sometime while the sun was setting on the ocean the two of you were walking along the shoreline. The two of you hadn’t spoken since leaving the jewelry shop an hour ago. While some might find it unusual that you could spend an entire date with so little conversation, it spoke volumes about the deep connection you shared. It was a testament to the comfort and understanding between you, where words weren’t always necessary to feel close. One you had never experienced with another except for…

“So are you finally going to tell me what’s been on your mind the past few weeks? This isn’t your normal silence.” Both of you stopped walking and you turned to face Nat. There was no way you’d be able to hide from her any longer. You had grown tired of patience and dodging the question wasn’t helping you. 

“I-” You were cut off by her phone ringing. 

“Who is bothering me right now…” She took her phone from her pocket and glanced at the screen. Before she was able to decline or answer you snatched the phone from her hand. Not bothering to look at who was calling, and declined the call, she didn’t even look fazed by the action. Her eyes widened in surprise while suppressing the urge to laugh at the annoyed look on your face.

“There has been something else on my mind.” you took both her hands in yours, squeezing them. “It’s something Wanda and the doc have been pestering me about.” Your eyes fell to the ground, a wave sinking the two of you into the sand. All of a sudden you became irritated just standing still, your hands began to shake and your legs began to twitch. Nat opened her mouth to say something but let you continue. You found yourself using your thumbs to trace the back of her hands. “Umm. Marriage. So is that something- Would you like that- Umm.” What are you saying?! You quickly dropped your hands and took a step back from her, nervously tugging at the hair at the nape of your neck. “Marry me? Ahh, wait umm. Would you..” before you could dig a bigger hole for yourself Nat threw her arms around you, almost tackling you to the ground. 

Once she gained her footing she pulled you in for a kiss, your hands resting on her waist while hers rested on your face. “I was wondering when you were going to ask me.” She cut you off before you could ask. “I’m a spy, there’s nothing you can hide from me. Plus Wanda isn’t the best at keeping secrets, she isn’t the quietest whisperer. And of course, I’ll marry you, detka.” Your foreheads resting on top of one another.

The tears in your eyes finally began to fall, in happiness of course. For each one that fell she kissed it away. 

“I never thought I’d get here. After all the accomplishments and hardships. All of the sacrifices we made to get here.” You balled your right hand into a fist and made a circle gesture around your heart. “There is no one I’d rather walk forward with.” You took your hand and placed it over your beating heart. 

“Do we really need to return to the condo tonight, I’d rather just stay here with you.”

“Speaking of the others, you know Steve and Bucky want to be flower pals right.” the two of you started to laugh at the thought of the guys throwing flowers down the aisle. 

“As much as I want to see that, I think I’d prefer we do something small and leave the reception for all of our friends.” She kissed you again and you weren't complaining. “Don’t think you need to make yourself uncomfortable with a big ceremony just because I want one. Besides, I’m sure there is a place to get married right here if you want” She whispered that last part in your ear.

“Oh, thank the gods! I was so focused on the ring and asking you that I completely forgot there was a ceremony. And for the wedding, I’ll make sure to present you with a more traditional ring.”

“Hmmm. I don’t need a flashy ring, this one is so unique.” Your face was definitely flushed from all the kisses she showered on you.

“Yes, but I have the past three months researching, hand mining, and polishing many jewels, as well as burning my hands trying to bend metal. Plus I know you’d love nothing more than to flaunt a shiny new wedding ring to all the other women and men in the tower. Speaking of flaunting…” You craned your head to the side and shouted, “You guys can come out!” to the group who hid poorly behind a lifeguard stand. 

Nat knelt down to scoop an energized Morgan into her arms, “I’m so excited for you, Aunty Natty can I see the ring?” The two of you showed the team the rings you two crafted just a few hours ago. 

“Quite the craftsmanship, I’m impressed,” Thor commented. “The boy is finally becoming a man, or in your case… Bruce help me out here.” 

“I’m happy for you guys. Really. I know things have been a bit awkward but the two of you make a great pair.” It was nice to see Bruce not act so cold towards you. 

“You're going to look so gorgeous, I can give you the address of the store I went to!” 

“So did you ask her about it?” Bucky didn’t finish his sentence because Steve pulled him away. 

“A shame I missed out on all the fun.” Tony held his phone to Nat, Clint and his family were on the other line. 

The crowd began to overwhelm you, causing your mind to drift. Thankfully, Nat noticed and announced that the two of you were calling it a night. The sense of emptiness you once felt was now filled with love, not only from Nat but from your entire team as well. You found yourself awake long after Nat had fallen asleep, nestled comfortably against your chest. As you lay there, listening to the gentle crash of the waves on the shore and breathing in the calming scent of strawberries, a deep sense of happiness washed over you. 

Taglist: @rosea-reginae

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!

Fang (x2)

“🦈🦈🦈”

“He's Fang ❤”

Cody Jr (x2)

“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”

Mr Coconut (x2)

“The og. Should have won every season /serious”

vince the alligator (x2)

“SWEEEEP”

“The lore… so immaculate”

the don box (x2)

“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”

“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”

wt pineapple (x2)

“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”

“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”

Irene the fish (x2)

“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”

“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”

the chrarry baby (x2)

“Goo goo gaa gaa”

“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”

Princess Beth Doll

“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”

Old Jester from reboot S2ep9

“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”

Bobo :)

“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”

DJ’s bunny

the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made

“I wanna eat that thang”

Dramarama Cody

“He's an alien”

Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)

(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)

“shed sweep”

that evil little seal from wt

“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”

caleb rock

“possibly the best version of him out there”

the skull duncan carved for courtney

“you cant deny how iconic it was”

eva’s mp3 player

“the most important character in td history”

heather’s various hairstyles

“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”

pahkitew island

“The best one”

Myself

“:^)”

ryan seacrests car

“very fast”

chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)

“MY CAR!!!!!”

alien clone cody

“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”

chris's wig

“wiggin”

heather's wig

“wiggin”

total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails

“You ate it!”

trents five finger shirt

“5”

princess courtney CD

“all the greatest hits!”

owens butt

“fart”

anne maria’s hair style

“Ey im walkin here”

bridgettes surfboard

“BONK”

the fake antlers from the paintball ep

“Duncney”

manitobas fedora

“served!”

beary <3

“it’s LITERALLY beary”

ripper’s world record breaking fart

“he did it”

the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt

“funny looking”

sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*

“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”

*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).

waynes accent

“Eh we play hockey eh”

mal ventriloquist doll

“aaah im evil mal doll”

alejandro puppet

“we do a little trolling”

Chef 2.0

“He made him from a cashew”

Mt. Kīlauea

“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”

Immunity idol s4-5

“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”

MK's infernape

“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.

Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!

Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”

the drone of shame

“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”

that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan

“mm giant bowl of rice”

noah’s dog

“his epic dog”

celine dion cardboard cutout

“love fucking wins #duncney”

the face huggers from Area 51

“rip tyler”

ezekiel MISSING milk carton

“Sad! He died.”

the eagle chris shot and killed

“someone arrest this man. again”

the confessional

“it’s always there for you”

geoff’s splinter

“OW”

the bread from codys pants

“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”

That ice cream snowman from SMS

“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”

bear

“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”

that pizza chase threw the challenge for

“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”

Momma's Spice

“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”

The Gilded Chris award

WT barf bags

“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”

the toxic marshmallow of loserdom

“killer of staci's hair”

The lavatory confessional

“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”

Courtney's PDA

“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”

The Cassowaries

“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”

Fire-breathing winged mountain goats

“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”

Giant Beetle

“Dott shippers will like this one”

Mutated Maggots

“They're pretty cute!”

Six-Legged Rats

“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”

scott bird

“what a beautiful bird”

Chef's car

“It may play a role in mkulia canon”

Gethin

that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot

“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”

The cassowary that fell in love with Zee

“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”

The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"

“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”

The Erymanthian Boar

“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”

The dock of shame

“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”

gwen's blender necklace

Zoey's hamster (Miss Puffycheeks)

“It's cute and can punch a cat, need I say more?”

[tiistirtipii]

Day 123 of missing AkkAyan. I was going to pick a different scene for today but I opened episode 10 to find it and got lost in repeating this beautiful moment. Undoubtedly one of my favourite scenes I’m focusing on just the first part of it for now.

It’s their first day at school as boyfriends and Ayan is ready to use that to his advantage. His claim to Akk has been put into words in a way it wasn’t before. Before it was just two shared kisses and comfort they provided eachother and while Akk still can’t admit his feelings Ayan made it so he didn’t have to, he let Akk ‘allow’ himself to be his boyfriend. Sure he asked a few times and wouldn’t let Akk sleep but that let Akk almost hide behind the pathetic excuse that is he was just trying to get Ayan to stop annoying him. Something along the lines of ‘yeah sure I’m totally only agreeing to be Ayan’s boyfriend so he will let me go to sleep not because he makes me feel happier or safer than anyone ever has haha’ and that technique of Akk’s to hide behind being annoyed is exactly what he uses in this scene as well. When Ayan asks him if he misses him at all, Akk’s answer of, “I did! Happy now?’ Is a great example of the deflection he uses to allow himself to be honest. He did miss Ayan but he can’t just say that, that’s lowering himself to Ayan’s very sappy level and Akk is too cool and too repressed for that. Ayan of course is very aware of this which is what makes it work for them. Ayan can annoy Akk into being honest and see straight past the insults it takes to get to that point to see the true meaning beyond 🥰.

The scene itself is very pretty, it’s no ep 7 island scene but the lighting here is beautiful and in light of (haha) the gorgeous photos we got of First in the sun today it seemed perfect to talk about. Ayan’s face shines as well but I can’t tell if it’s because of the sun or how widely he is smiling and I can’t tell if that’s the sun shining in his eyes of if they’re bright with love and adoration.

There are so many little bits and pieces I love about this scene I’ll just start listing them. The audio work at the start and the way you can hear their shoes along the floor and Ayan’s palm smack against the wall. That paired with the quick cut from Akk looking so confused to Ayan smiling so widely as the audio fades away makes that moment especially rewatchable. It seriously scratches some part of my brain. I love Akk’s eyes the whole scene although I love them in every scene. First’s eye acting is unmatched and the way his eyes soften from concerned to shy has me entranced. The way Akk’s hand comes up to grab onto Ayan’s backpack, failing at keeping Ayan away and instead holding him there. Ayan’s mini pout.

Akk’s seconds of consideration before he admits to missing Ayan, probably when he thinks about the benefits of being honest or just denying it or doing a mix of both as said before. Ayan’s absolutely radiant smiles throughout the whole scene as he gets to act as the mushy boyfriend he has always wanted to be. The way Akk pulls Ayan’s hand off from the wall behind him and Ayan doesn’t even hesitate for a second to place it right back. How he doesn’t care at all that Wat and Kan are coming and continues on to ask for a kiss.

There’s the fact that this scene is the last scene shown in the intro yet technically we never get that exact scene from the intro because we don’t get a shot from that angle and Ayan’s hand looks to be completely behind Akk’s head (stopping it from knocking into the wall☺️) but because that scene was in the intro it was something to look forward to.

I remember early on I couldn’t picture Akk and Ayan looking at each other with that much love and it gave me butterflies to imagine that’s the two idiots on my screen who hated eachother were going to get to that point eventually.

There’s more to this scene but I’ll leave that for another day. I miss Akk and Ayan, more and more every day.

[pwnyta]

Sayid ship tierlist! We'll start off with Sayid canon ships!

Shannon/Sayid! Shannon died too soon and she didnt get enough character development for me to believe these two could ever work as a couple off the island. It woulda been interesting to see the writers make it work... because they come from such wildly different worlds and are such wildly different people it woulda been interesting.

BUT THEY FUCKING KILLED HER TOO SOON.

We didnt really get a chance to see Shannon do things for Sayid the way Sayid would do for Shannon which I think the other top tier het ships managed to do! Jin/Sun, Des/Penny, even fuckin Richard/his dead wife... and they only got the one REALLY GOOD EPISODE HOLY SHIT THAT SCENE WITH HUGO WAS SO HEARTBREAKINGLY TRAGIC AND BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT LOST WRITERS WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY WITH ANYTHING KATE DID...

Anyways....

Pros- Pretty cute. The juxtaposition of this kind of spoiled brat LA bitch and ... however you wanna try to describe the sheer hell of Sayids life trying make it work... coulda been interesting.

Cons- That same juxtaposition tbh. I just cant see Shannon staying long after she maybe tries shaking Sayid while hes sleeping and he wakes up in a violent panic and grabs her like he did with Jack or his brother...

I dont see her being able to handle him at his worst, the ptsd, all that trauma and violence he's lived through? and the writers never tried to show that aspect... it was just Sayid doing stuff for her. Which was cute... but....

6/10. The faults of this ship is 100% the writers fault for killing Shannon too soon. I dont actually mind that they ended up together in the end... even if it felt kinda weird.

Nadia/Sayid!

I think Nadia is a better match for what they put out. She's essentially his Penny throughout the story (even had a 'another life' thing like Des). Nadia also shares a lot of the tragedy and trauma Sayid has been through and knew him, knew his flaws, why he did what he did, and still loved him so much. The flashsideways scene where she asks him why he didnt love her and he said he did but he didnt deserve her was crazy. Even in that weird fantasy world Sayid could never accept himself or accept someone might love him. Whyd the writers do that... Thats so sad... ANYWAYS.

Nadia was great. Im sad they only got like half a year in real time to be married before THE WRITERS FUCKING KILLED HER OFF TOO WTF....

Pros- They have a shared life history and did work in real time. They had some great scenes together and I love them. I also love that she was one to beg him NOT to do something violent after his brothers attack. So many people ask him to do some violent shit. From Innman with torturing his former CO to fucking SHANNON with asking him to kill Locke. And he listened to all of them (sorta... he almost killed Locke but didnt and she got mad at him for it)... so for Nadia he went back home, picked up the kids, fixed a vase... It was nice. He did kill people, inadvertently cause the death of his friend, and shot himself for her but she never asked him for that shes always asked him to stay with her.

Cons- Because she wasnt on the island she didnt get a lot of screentime and tHE WRITERS FUCKING KILLED HER OFF SO BRUTALLY WTF.

8/10. Would ship again.

Elsa/Sayid!

I mean I GUESS you can call this canon. And the SPICE of it... Two assassins working for opposing forces honeypotting each other... but Sayid accidentally cares for her because despite all of the conditioning toward violence from his abusive father to the military to the hitman stuff... hes still a soft boy with a big heart who just loves too hard. Then they shot each other and he won. And he hated it. Whyd the writers do this to him....

Pros- THE JUICE. One of the juiciest. Honestly I coulda watched a couple episodes of them building their relationship before she shoots him. Id have been SHOOK. Despite my instincts to have everyone be in love with my fav... the fact she pretended to love him, clearly pounded him out real well, and then shot him and complained about NOT killing him to her boss (probably Widmore) MADE IT JUICY AND TRAGIC.

Elsa: Oh Sayid, If only there was someone out there that loved you.

Frozen could never.

Cons- Bitch is a dead. Also she only got the one episode.. Cant help but stan tho.

5/10 just because I cant in good conscious give them a bigger score than Shannon/Sayid. BUT JUICE!!!

Ilana/Sayid!

I mean... theres not much here. Sayid got a little tipsy and was looking for someone to kiss him and once again got betrayed because IDK the writers just like to make Sayid sad?

Pros- Ilana COULD have been interesting if the writers didnt just BLOW HER THE FUCK UP FOR NO REASON.

Cons- Everything else.

2/10. Not much here except theyre both hot and with those boots she had on... you know she woulda been a fun domme but she plays too much (worked for Jacob who did nothing for her and then blew up outta nowhere).

--NON CANON--

Kate/Sayid!

I MEAN... THE TICKET really. Their relationship was one of the best. They clicked up like IMMEDIATELY. The only thing wrong with them is the writers always making Kate run to Sawyer even though he treated Sayid like shit (or Jack which was mostly fine but the lack of chemistry). Like writers you are not making me believe Kate isnt a girls girl. Im sorry. Youre not. Im ignoring it. I honestly wish that Kate was like 'Come on Sayid' and Sayid hopped in her car after Jack and Ben were trying to get them back to the island. WHY NOT? Youre telling me that that wouldnt have happened writers? I DONT BELIEVE IT.

W/E.

THAT SAID... I also kinda wish Kate was a lesbian and hooked up with Claire or Cassidy.

Pros- I mean... lookit the material. (disregard all the awful writers choices with Kate thats not her fault.)

Cons- The one she was pulling with the fake necklaces (how she met Cassidy and then they got gay married probably(?)

9/10! QPP!? ANYONE?? Or they get married. Either way. GOD TIER.

Danielle/Sayid!

I mean... MY FAVORITE HET SHIP WITH SAYID... even if that just had that one episode where she tortured and pet his face a lot... I woulda been cool but the fact she ended up helping them out more because she trusted Sayid was so nice. I also love the episode where she kidnapped Aaron and when she returned him saying she just wanted her daughter back and handed the baby to him while Sayid looked like he was gonna cry for her. WEH.

Their last interaction being Danielle holding Sayid at gunpoint was dumb. I know Sayid would never hold that against her just like he would never hold anything Hugo did against him is pretty great tho.

Pros- Again... lookit the material! Thats a couple of damaged stray/feral cats cuddling for warmth energy.

Cons- They just stopped interacting after that one scene and then the writers fucking killed Danielle off in the dumbest way ever. THIS IS THE WRITERS FAULT.

9/10! Would ship again!

Charlie/Sayid!

Honestly kinda another wasted dynamic that just stops interacting after awhile and then one of them dies. For the time they did interact... it was pretty great. They have a kind of Usopp/Zoro feel to them that I appreciate. Charlie seemed to put a lot of trust in Sayid even after his weird face/heel turn that sucked.

Pros- Theyre kinda goofy together... I enjoy it.

Cons- Charlie got kinda weird then got redemption=death'd. So...

5/10. I cant rate it higher than Shannon/Sayid but they were fun in a similar juxtaposition kinda way!

Sawyer/Sayid!

Girl.

OK.

Its hard to ship these two because of SAWYERS FUCKIN VIOLENT RACISM. I will give it Sawyer tho in the Dharma camp he changed, he tried desperately to save Sayid, he had a HARD HARD time watching Sayid go through what he went through and there were times where Sawyer and Sayid clicked up which honestly was such bad vibes... like if Sawyer is going to Sayid for back up you know theres some crazy shit happening. And it did happen a few times.

I think its a missed opportunity that they never really worked through their animosity and reached a real understanding with each other. Theyve been through some similar shit and think if they talked it out they coulda been a solid unit.

But also the flashsideways having Sawyer be a cop that arrests Sayid for essentially protecting his family is crazy... Of course Sawyer was a fuckin cop.

Pros- ... There is a lot of drama & trauma to work with??

Cons- Racism, torture, just RANCID VIBES. I think one of the worst things is Sawyer saying 'Oh I bet you wanna torture me, show how CIVILIZED you really are' or something like that after he stole the guns...

Like hey cunt he tortured you because you were hoarding resources, beat the shit out of Boone for looking through those resources to find his sisters inhalers, implied you knew where the inhalers were while she was having an asthma attack and refused to tell anyone but Kate and then said youd only tell Kate about them if she kissed you which SHE DID NOT WANT TO DO BUT WAS FORCED TO and then said 'I dont know where they are' effectively WASTING EVERYONES TIME WHILE SHANNON WAS GASPING FOR BREATH.

YOU CANT TALK ABOUT CIVILITY YOU FUCKING ANIMAL.

SAYID SHOULD STICK MORE BAMBOO UNDER YOUR FINGERNAILS ACTUALLY...

or I would say that but Sayid felt so guilty about torturing him and accidentally stabbing him in the arm he banished himself and then later when Anna Lucia tied him too a tree and was contemplating killing him he said he deserved it because what he did to Sawyer...

ANYWAYS...

SAWYER DOES GET BETTER KINDA... 😬LMAO I think fanfiction writers could do a better job writing these guys than the canon writers BUT AS IT IS...

2(?)/10... GIRL. SO RANCID. But man when they worked together it sure was interesting.

Hurley/Sayid!

TIME TO CLEANSE!!! The fact they first bond over Sawyer being shitty to them is phenomenal. The biggest self-hating pessimist vs the most loving, most extreme optimist is beautiful stuff. Nothing reaches the heights of Sayids aggressive dedication to protecting Hurley physically and Hurleys dedication to healing Sayid emotionally. THE PURITY OF THEM.

Pros- Everything I just said. There was so much love there it was crazy.

Cons- Hurley is probably one of the straightest characters in the show LMFAO a man who says dude and gets a little uncomfortable with sincere emotional moments like when Charlie said he loved him and he was like... yeah w/e dude I love you too. GOOFY STRAIGHT BOY NONSENSE.

THAT SAID...

10/10! THE VIBES ARE IMMACULATE. I HOPE THEY GET GAY MARRIED. SUE ME.

Jack/Sayid!

I already went off on them... so just to recap. Sayid is Jacks special lil guy who can do no wrong.

Pros- Sayid was Jacks right hand man and anyone who knows me knows my position on boss/right hand man ships. TOP TIER. MY FAVORITE FLAVOR.

Cons- That one time Jack was with the Dharma people and then took Juliet back with them and didnt tell anyone what was going on and just generally acting sus which made everyone not trust him even Sayid... Literally what was the point of that? At LEAST tell Sayid. Sayid is so damn paranoid if you could get him on board with one of the 'Others' everyone else would have probably just been like 'Ok. I mean if SAYID is cool with it...' Except maybe Sawyer... but maybe even Sawyer cuz he know EXACTLY how Sayid can be. Imma put that on the writers. It was so dumb.

10/10. Why they always lookin in each others eyes like that. Just kiss each other gaybos.

Desmond/Sayid!

Their relationship on the freighter was crazy. Desmond forgetting Sayid but then being like 'I dont know you but you seem to know me so if were friends can you help me?' or w/e and like... They werent really friends? But Sayid helped him so hard anyways and then Desmond looked at him like he hung the moon from then on out.

Even though Sayids reaction to Desmond lookin at him like that was always sheer confusion. Sayid doesnt know what love is and Desmond would like to show him.

Pros- Sayids dedication to saving Desmond despite not really knowing him, Desmond happily returning that energy in the end. Beautiful.

Cons- Des/Penny is sorta hard for me to shift in my mind... kinda like Jin/Sun...

9½/10. Stop lookin at Sayid like that youre freakin him out.

Ben/Sayid!

TIME TO DO THE OPPOSITE OF CLEANSE! If you mixed the toxicity of Sawyer/Sayid(minus the racism) with the JUICINESS of Elsa/Sayid... THE MOST TOXIC JUICE.

Man... Sayid deserved so much better. What I like about them is that they kinda have a more even playing field than when Ben is interacting with Jack or Locke. They keep each other on their toes and its endlessly funny the amount of times Sayid freaks Ben the fuck out... cuz Ben spent so much time being the little freak of the island. The best one was when Ben went to actually go save Sayid and he was like 'Sayid... come with me... theres still time' and Sayid (who had been infected) turns to him with a demented smile and said 'Not for me.' and Ben just backed away slowly then SKEDADDLED. It was so fucking funny.

They matched each others freak in the most twisted way. LMFAO

Pros- None(pos)

Cons- The fact their stories were so intertwined to the point they LITERALLY TURNED EACH OTHER INTO THE MONSTERS THEY BECAME but didnt interact in the flashsideways is crazy. What a missed opportunity. I woulda loved to see whole, kindhearted Mr. Linus interact with sad, tragic Sayid.... Im sorry but their dynamic was way better than Locke and Ben.

10/10 (neg)

Locke/Sayid (& Fake!Locke/Sayid too)!

Locke fucked up so hard making an enemy outta Sayid so early. I think Sayid woulda eventually forgiven being hit (he pretty easily forgave Danielle & even Ana Lucia but maybe thats just apart of Sayid believing in women's rights and also their wrongs so Locke need not apply.) but the fact Locke lied to him and made him think Sawyer was the one who did it further fueling their animosity... I just dont think that was EVER forgiven. Even when they were working together Sayid just did not trust Locke at all. FOR GOOD REASON. Locke lied to him almost as much as fuckin Ben lies!

They woulda been a fuckin killer duo if Locke earned his trust instead tho.

Then to have MiB!Locke take control of Sayid and made him his dragon was just a fuckin cool idea... but it needed more time to work. (Same with Claire, that whole infection thing with them needed more in general.) But YEAH. Coulda been better but the lip-smacking FLAVOR is there.

Pros- Sayids lack of trust in Locke throughout the series due to Locke (technically well-intentioned) deceptions and zombie Sayid ending up as MiB!Lockes right hand man... theres some good shit to work with...

Cons- Didnt have enough time to cook tho IMO.

7/10 tho! BUT THE FLAVOR THO! Yeah I rated it higher than Shannon/Sayid! If youre gonna be canon ya have to be held to higher standard! THOSE ARE THE RULES. TECHNICALLY SHANNON/SAYID IS BETTER BUT EXECUTION... NOT SO MUCH. SUE ME.

----WILDCARD BITCHES!----

WIDMORE/SAYID!

The fact they did not interact is crazy. Sayid wiped out so many of his people first under Ben and then under MiB!Locke and they didnt ever get to interact? Thats crazy.

TBF I dont think they coulda interacted without one of them dying and Sayid 'needed' to have his redemption=death moment and Ben 'needed' to kill Widmore. BUT LIKE... come on. NOT ONCE?

One of Widmores men accidentally (?) killed Sayids wife and Sayid went full JOHN WICKE and started ripping through his people like tissue paper and we didnt get ONE interaction. Thats crazy. Widmore gave Ben his most valuable chess piece!

Also Widmore was a dick to Desmond, Sayid dont take that lightly either.

Pros- THATS CRAZY

Cons- IT COULDA BEEN JUICY.

???/10... c'est la vie.

[belfasttransfersandtours]

Belfast to Giants Causeway by Car: A Scenic Drive

The drive from Belfast to the Giants Causeway is one of the most picturesque drives and there are many places of interest along the way. It takes approximately 1 to get the trip. 5 hours if you happen to take the coastal road which is known as the Causeway Coastal Route which is approximately 100 kilometers.

The tourist route is accompanied by marvelous views of the rocky coast, and charming villages, as well as visiting spots such as the Carrickfergus Castle, the Glens of Antrim, and the Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge. Once at the Giants Causeway, the visitors can stand and watch the beauty of the hexagonal basalt columns left by volcanic eruptions, which occurred millions of years ago. This site of a World Heritage site is one of the most beautiful natural marvels to visit in Northern Ireland.

Belfast Black Taxi Tours: Read about the City

The belfast black taxi tours allow taking a deep look at the important stages in the history of the city as well as encountering its lively spirit. These tours are carried out by experienced drivers who give you facts and first-hand impressions of Belfast in the past and today while being ferried around in a black cab.

These include the Falls and Shankill Road murals, the Peace Wall, and other major attractions within the area such as the Crumlin Road Gaol and the Stormont Parliament Buildings. The tours tend to be informative and give the visitors an understanding of the history of Belfast as a city, and more specifically the events of the Troubles, but also the city’s renewed spirit. It offers an excellent opportunity for anyone wishing to get a closer look at Belfast to do so in a quite engaging way.

Game of Thrones Tours: Take a Tour into the Real World of Game of Thrones

Tourism in Northern Ireland has been given a boost through game of thrones tours that are aimed at providing opportunities to travel to scenes from the series. These enclosed visits give you views of aesthetic locations like the Dark Hedges used in shooting the King's Road and Ballintoy Harbourwhich depicted the Rough Iron Islands.

Other filming sites include the Cushendun Caves which featured when Melisandre delivered a shadow assassin, and the Castle Ward which depicted Winterfell. Tours originate from Belfast and some have transport facilities and this makes it possible to visit most of the sites in one day. Tour guides are fully aware of the shooting process and thus they offer interesting facts and stories about the filming process that make the entire experience exciting for fans.

Conclusion

Whether you are riding across belfast to giants causeway, discovering the city’s full history with a Black Taxi Tour, or immersing yourself in the world of Game of Thrones with a tour dedicated to it, Northern Ireland has much to offer in terms of the experiences.

Driving through the Giants Causeway brings out the natural look of the region as the Black Taxi Tours bring out a better understanding of the historical background of Belfast. Visiting the shooting locations or the real places where some episodes were shot is a great way to make the Game of Thrones adventures more tangible. All the above activities present a unique means of exploring and appreciating the vibrant culture and geography of Northern Ireland.

[bakerstreetbabble]

"The Final Problem" (BBC Sherlock): Review

Here's my review of the final episode of Season 4 of the BBC's Sherlock, and possibly the final episode of the entire series. This review was originally published on I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere.

"It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen" [FINA] 

[Editor's Note: this is the eighth in our series of reviews for Series 4 of Sherlock. There are spoilers below. Don't say we didn't warn you.]

Where to begin? How does one describe this beautiful mess, this sublimely ludicrous end to a season that has delighted and frustrated so many viewers? Well, I guess we have to start with the obligatory spoiler warning. I mean, for the love of all that is Sherlockian, don't think about reading any further until you've watched the final episode of Season 4 of Sherlock: "The Final Problem."

Let's start with that title: despite the obvious reference to perhaps the most famous of all Holmes stories in the Canon, this episode has little to do with Doyle's story of the same name. Moffat and Gatiss had already plundered Doyle's "The Final Problem" back in Season 2, with "The Reichenbach Fall." So plot-wise, there's not much in the way of references to that source material, other than a certain air of finality at the end of the episode. But more on that point later...

There are references to the Canon, of course, as we have come to expect from this series: the reference to "The Three Garridebs" (just their names—the plot point is completely different); the "Dancing Men" reference in the final montage. Perhaps other more eagle-eyed Sherlockians will detect other clues. And there was a delightful detail in the final shot, where a placard on a building clearly reads "Rathbone Place," a cheeky little extra-canonical tidbit. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.

As a fan of comic books when I was younger, I can't help but think that the island fortress of Sherrinford was reminiscent of Arkham Asylum from the Batman series: a place where only the most brilliant of the criminally insane reside. Meanwhile, the writers made the parallel to Silence of the Lambs explicit in the scene where Sherlock first visits Eurus at her cell, and a guard refers to the famous film/novel. Eurus certainly brought Hannibal Lecter to mind right away.

Perhaps one of the biggest laughs I got (maybe the only laugh, considering the dark tone of the episode) was when the camera panned down through the floor at 221B, to show Mrs. Hudson vacuuming her floor, while listening to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast" on her headphones. No, that's not right, I did laugh at one other spot: the great musical cue at the beginning of the flashback to Moriarty's visit to Sherrinford, wherein he's listening to Queen's "I Want to Break Free." Typical Moriarty flash and cheese, all in one delicious moment.

The Critical Question At this point, though, I have to ask myself: canonical references and humorous musical cues aside, what about the rest of it? Did this episode, in fact, make any sense?

No, I don't think it did. For all their attempts to really wow us, with all the suspense — will Sherlock shoot Watson or Mycroft? Will Mrs. Hudson perish in the explosion? Will Molly Hooper die because she won't say "I love you"? — for all that, much of the action felt horribly contrived to me. If anyone has watched any of the Saw films, there's often a point in those elaborately executed torture traps where the viewer thinks, "How could anyone possibly set all of this up?" In the case of Eurus Holmes, a woman who had been incarcerated for much of her adult life, I found myself thinking the same thing: even with the help of the guards that she had (almost magically) talked into doing her bidding, there was just too much planning and almost superhuman omniscience involved in setting up her elaborate test of brothers Sherlock and Mycroft.

Speaking of superhuman, we're also forced to believe that Sherlock, John and Mycroft (not to mention Mrs. Hudson) all walked away from the huge explosion at 221B, with nary a scratch on them? For heaven's sake, Sherlock and John were blown through a second story window!

But this same superhero-style Sherlock doesn't even realize that there is no glass between him and Eurus, the whole time he's talking to her? Nope, sorry, I don't buy it. I've stood in front of glass walls, and it's quite easy to tell the difference between glass and thin air. And it takes that long for Sherlock to figure out that the little girl on the plane is all a ruse? As they have in the past, Moffat and Gatiss seem to have thought we, as viewers, would simply accept their overly elaborate game (that's "not a game any more," according to the trailer), and not notice how far-fetched the whole thing was, or how lame Sherlock has gotten at figuring things out.

Almost the entire length of the episode, I just kept thinking, "No, that wouldn't happen that way...no, that just isn't possible." Just as they did at the beginning of Season 3, when everyone wanted to know how Sherlock had survived his "Reichenbach Fall," the Sherlock writers simply said, "We don't need to explain it. Sherlock's just the cleverest man alive." Except for when he's not. Which leads me to the end...

There has been much speculation, especially as Season 4 has progressed, as to whether this will be the last season of Sherlock. The final montage of this episode certainly seemed to lean that way: Mary's final words about her "Baker Street Boys...Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson!" had a definite air of finality about them. Are Moffat and Gatiss going to accomplish what Arthur Conan Doyle failed to do with his "Final Problem"? Will this be the end of the story? Doyle tried to kill off his detective, but ended up bringing him back to life. All of our favorite characters (well, most of them) are still alive and well at the end of this "Final Problem." So I guess the future of the series is still open.

Of course, that leads me to my final dilemma: how do I view this episode as a series finale, rather than just a season finale, if that's what it turns out to be? I suppose, to a certain extent, this finale demonstrates what Sherlock has always been: entertaining, frustrating, impressed by its own cleverness, slick, modern, and completely in love with its source material. I mean, that's what's kept so many of us coming back, through the long hiatuses and all that, isn't it?

It's always been clear (to me, at least) that Moffat and Gatiss absolutely adore the characters and stories created by Arthur Conan Doyle. In the end, if it is actually over, the whole series is kind of like a crazy, devoted fan fiction: they have always said, "What if?" What if Sherlock Holmes and John Watson were living in today's world? What stories could we tell about that?

And they did.

[feuqueerfire]

Happiness Live Blogging

After the bland Island, I hope I love it

I’m not super into zombies but from what I’ve heard about it (marriage of convenience and interesting human relationships), it feels like something I’d like

Ep 1 (Mar 18)

lovely beginning hehe

Sae Bom’s mannerisms remind me of Im Jugyeong from True Beauty

she seems capable in multiple ways just from the first half of the episode, I desperately need that after Island’s Miho

oh she got bit

they’ve been really good friends for 12 years then if he’s calling her mom

oh wtf she’s in an apartment filled with people zombies in isolation that’s scary

interestingly she’s not infected despite the bite

so they feel thirsty before becoming zombies

it’s interesting and scarier that it’s not like the people become zombies and are like The Undead but these people can talk normally and be rational but then become irrationally bloodthirsty

every show has redevelopment strangers from hell beyond evil and now this

heheh the “Do you wanna date me?” “Should we get married?” coming around 12 years later at the beginning and end of this ep

This first ep was better than entirely of Island lol I liked the setup and friendship of Sae Bom and Yi Hyun, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy has liked her for these past decade; she’s “his saviour” and the way he looked when she asked him whether they should get married. I also like the characters so far: Sae Bom is very non-chalant and Yi Hyun seems capable as well. also, they’ve mentioned her being in the hospital for two years and being behind too much to not have that be the the reason she is immune. I’m liking the setup of the zombies too.

Ep 2 (Mar 18/19)

oh homeless man was given pneumonia medicine and became a zombie - Next is used for that

why does that man keep touching his neck?

i love how she’s convincing him to get married like yep i totally mean it

oh Seung Hyun gonna spill and he has a gash

ah he’s literally hanging up a photo from that first day, he must be so in love fr like i’d be surprised if he hasn’t been pining

cute kid who is so observant and is in awe of Seo Bam kicking open the door

lol the attorney with his suit jacket and pajama pants

naurrrr the red top lady skincare woman is taking medicine Next ma’am you’re gonna be a zombie soon

lmfao i was like hm he is in his underwear and is probably hiding something but i was somehow expecting porn or smth not him cheating and hiding a woman under his bed but that makes sense

ah be diligently organized the rooms including the twin beds beside each other

aw her wanting her own place so bad because her family had to move into smaller and smaller places as a child

ah unlikely partners Yi Hyun and Tae Seok

i can’t tell if Tae Seok will end up being kinda evil or not like he worked at some pharmaceutical thing, does he have connections to Next?

I have returned home, so this is my third attempt at finishing this episode cuz i watched a bit last night and this morning at someone else’s house

hehe i like Sae Bom and the tiny sick girl hanging out together

damn, the guy who got scratched has 21 missed calls from his wife and also slit his wrist

damn, he slashed his wrist and is getting that checked out instead of the scratch at his collarbone hm

we could’ve had some lesbian enemies to lovers with Sae Bom and the short haired officer medic at the hospital prison place

oh his name is Lee Seung Hyun

refrigerator truck omg

bruh soooooo many ppl zombies in that truck and it’s just one of multiple

damn they got a zombie in the truck and Tae Seok shot him to death

Tae Seok also casually water boarding the guy

damn Seung Hyun still managing to talk in the truck they haven’t eaten him yet

lol why is it so quiet in the truck

oof, so those zombies didn’t eat him cuz Seung Hyun also a zombie

Ep 3 (Mar 19)

O.O my god when Sae Bom went in I was like D: but at least she's immune or something but then Yi Hyun going in?!

ah, we get to speak to Seung Hyun again, rip him being like "they were all crazy... will I become like that again?"

hm I think it's annoying when characters want other people to put their lives in danger to save a person the MC cares about - so I kinda get where Sae Bom's coming from that they should've tried to get Seung Hyun out but he was also a beginning-stage zombie and is on his way to becoming like those full on zombies and other people also got scratched/bit to stop his dumbassery so like - consequences of his own action

so yknow that woman that we briefly saw in Tae Seok's memory his wife/sister or anything? Did Yi Hyun's comment about family sting?

okay but the man with the mask who glares at people without masks is relatable though? why are you not wearing masks in elevators and why would you take off your mask to speak, that makes no sense

lmfao all these neighbours in the elevator together is giving me slight Strangers From Hell vibes. the cannibalistic desires will be unintentional later on whereas in SFH were very intentional lol

kljsadf Yi Hyun is so in love with her fr like he must be right? tbh he's better at hiding it than other main male leads because he doesn't do the longing stare as much but his actions... ah

pls Sae Bom's Yi Hyun's mom talking to them excitedly but Sae Bom and Yi Hyun being awkward lol

I like the girl from 401

Even the "noise from upstairs" reminds me of Strangers From Hell

why is she just going to check on the zombie woman without any backup or anything T.T like she doesn't have any weapons, it's not like at the police station or university facility where there were so many trained people

is that man giving incorrect address? 102 101 instead of 601?

this old lady having to live with her old husband whose first words to her are "why aren't you feeding me?!" and her useless son who says she doesn't have nunchi while doing a vlog around the house while she's just trying to tell them about the zombie woman from 601 is gonna be my breaking point fr

okay idk why him being so into her secretly is making me feel completely insane like at 39:28 when he looks away fast when she almost catches him watchiner her?! meltdown okay I don't think that's actually what happened, he looked in same direction as her but i'd paused too early cuz i died

i think it's funny when like every man in a drama is the Worst except our main male lead. Min ji's husband? a cheater and perhaps an abuser. the old lady's husband? deserves death for how he treats her. Seung Hyun? not the worst but greedy and reckless nonetheless. I don't trust the man who's the attorney in like 602 or smth and also Tae Seok is suspicious

damn Tae Seok wife still alive but is sleeping in 3C like all the other late stage zombies

oof yaeh mans sold it at Le Ciel - which is the gym where the people who bought their apartments (not leasers) took

oof so the apartment is gonna be quarantined. everybody trapped

alksdf them hugging

pls the arrested man running away while they're hugging

I don't really get the quarantine/trapped thing tbh like okay we're trying to trap the zombie people but it's like the middle of a day, possibly a weekday, aren't many of the people going to be at work or just outside?

Ep 4 (Mar 20)

damn so the woman that the dude was cheating with is also suspicious

no but i seriously love the way he says "Sae Bom-ah... I have to catch the man though..." but doesn't push her away or anything it's so cute idkidkidkkk

anyway, this man Yi Hyun's partner rice cake guy is fr gonna be trapped in this apartment too lol

poor dear little girl crying T.T and hiding it T.T

oof this awkward apartment meeting pls

Ahn Guk Jin/Andrew - is he gonna be just another regular guy and they're making Yi Hyun kinda suspect him to throw us off?

pls Sae Bom and Yi Hyun are lowkey cops who use their powers

Sae Bom's mother warned her against becoming like her and saying to be happy hm

okay hm so Tae Seok apparently assaulted the Chairman and so was let go of or smth but he and Chairman are clearly speaking and Chairman had recommended Tae Seok to some high position, so was the assault fake? he seems sick but not from the assault? and Tae Seok's saying the chairman released Next to the public

oh i see lmfao chairman is sick from Next, infected Tae Seok's wife by drinking her blood/biting her, now he released it into the wild because that means the cure would be found faster. He wasn't assaulted, he just went out of the limelight because he's such a zombie and they're just letting him eat people lmfao

the other buildings in the complex fucking them over, so Sae Beom using the gun to scare them and Mr rice cake guy tell Seo Yoon to not learn from it but her being delighted at how cool Sae Bom is

I can't remember who the people they showed in the montage buying Next at the gym were but was the business woman lady one of them? she's taking medicine but i can't see which

bro these last 6 mins? so who was the person infected? that was hunting down the people in the garage? i don't know who was got by them either. and Andrew just watching people being chased ah scary and the old lady was scratched as expected and Seo Yoon texting her mom oof

Sae Bom is very brash and impulsive and bold, I hope something bad happens due to it because it's a very big character flaw that needs to have consequences.

Ep 5 (Mar 20)

so we're gonna not have any follow up for who Sae Bom heard at the end of last ep?

ah the wifi and phone and TV all gone is actually fucked

these residents who aren't believing them that there was a real zombie and keep trying to open the door are actually killing me so bad

alkdsjf wtf not the mistress of the dermatology mans tryna play footsie with the attorney? i didn't like the attorney but is he also a cheater?

oof, true the zombies will become humans again

so the dealers are also all becoming zombies oof

lol the woman defending her older brother after hating on him this whole time is so funny and real

fuckkk the creep dermatologist possible murderer is offering 300k won (~300CAD) to someone who will figure out what's going on outside so of course the 2 cleaners and their Andrew are volunteering fuck this

oh the bastard's name is Oh Joo Hyung

scratch, bite, NEXT

ah the cleaner getting blood all over his gloved hands cuz there's blood on the door handle oh fuck also does touching the blood like that also infect your or anything? the short-haired woman didn't say so but yknow

oh damn the building representative and the gym suspect are siblings - that's his secret

Hyun going fucking whack on Joo Hyung is so satisfying, I actually need that man brutally murdered by the end for sure. like is the building representative the most irritating person? do i wanna slap that old man's neck who treats his wife like trash and has one braincell? yeah but Joo Hyung needs to die ripped apart piece by piece

no but acc I wish they came up with a way to give the people food and stuff even if it's like drop some food from an airplane or smth

Tae Seok had an emotional attachment to his wife and so wants this to end and there to be a cure but he's so good at being detached and not do the emotional-driven brash things Sae Bom or Yi Hyun do. He's such an interesting character with his ability to remain cold and put many above others (well it'd be diff if his wife was on the line I think) and how to navigate this situation in regards to what info to give to those officials about the antibody and how to instill fear and complicity in the protestors

Ep 6 (Mar 20/21)

ah 6 months ago. Tae Seok's wife speaking about the baby

oh yeah I forgot until now that Tae Seok at first was like 'hm medicine/pills? I don't think so' at Yi Hyun when he knew about Next the whole time

lol I also jumped a bit when he had the fast reaction when she startled Tae Seok

ooh what is Joo Hyung's mistress girly looking for? she's bypassing the money

please it's killing me so bad that Joo Hyung is pelting the gym guy (representative's dongsang) with balls and Yi Hyun is just watching

omg wtf gym mans really was infected, I really was also hoping that he wasn't infected and really didn't know lol rip but he was looking for those meds in the garage back then oof

oh gym mans name is Kim Seung Bom

lmfao them being like who’s gonna be the good cop bad cop and both wanting to the bad cop like you guys already areee bro

bruv not the attorney inviting joo hyung’s mistress and her hugging him and then his wife smelling her on his jacket a bit before getting distracted

joo hyung rlly got his hands on the Next polls in Seung Bom’s car agh

oof the building rep wants seung bom gone goddamn are they not siblings?

Andre didn’t vote i don’t think?

pls not the building rep being like i’m glad we don’t have to throw him out :>

miss girl attorney’s wife made the wrong choice marrying him rip

omg so the 1501 hazmat suit guy could become a zombie and he invited Sae Bom into his house bruhhh

the annoying blogger mans is so horrible

not the siblings fighting and leaving seung bom by themselves and also the brother is such a pos

bro so many things going on. letting zombies into the building bc of vlogger’s phone and writer girl watching her brother get bit and dragged away by one and seung bom boutta transform and sae bom is in 1501 hazmat’s house and he might also transform

why is 1501 being so crypticccc

Ep 7 (Mar 21)

ah fuck this creep mans almost getting Seo Yoon but she's a little smarticle, much more so than the dumbass adults

no novel writer pleaseeee don't fall for gym mans like be serious you saw your brother get bitten by a zombie why tf would you listen to this man begging rn and you didn't see him finish driving everything ah fuck

and when she goes to run away she goes to the parking lot?!?!

not Tae Seok coming in to kill the gym zombie

I know the novel lady is in shock after seeing her brother + seeing that guy get shot but one less person would've died if you hadn't given him the fucking handcuff keys so I'm too annoyed for sympathy right now

damn, does the priest's cross actually work?

I slightly got spoiled that Andrew isn't a good guy, I do wonder what he's hiding under the mask

I guess Seo Yoon reminds Tae Seok of his own possible child

I don't fully get why Tae Seok wants Seo Yoon to come outside now when previously he didn't?

Why is Joo Hyung so fucking happy I need him to die so bad at this city lockdown and martial law

I don't get why they don't want to tell people about Next now like it could make people sure to not take it, right?

damn bruv Tae Seok really wants to let a zombie bite Sae Bom to see if she can avoid turning after that

oh they cut out the gym zombie's brain - needed for antibody probably

the shot of Yi Hyun running down the stairs from outside of the building is so fun

so is the blood Sae Bom's? The zombie mans? Sae Bom did say Tae Seok didn't kill the guy, though he shot him. So did he bite Sae Bom? If not, wouldn't she have taken the blood test regardless in order to find a cure?

what exactly does the mistress woman want with the attorney

motherfucker Joo Hyung is putting Next is the water? he's gonna fucking try to get mistress to drink that water? his plan to kill her?

so is the mistress really actually wanting help to escape Joo Hyung and his murderous intent?

damn novel writer's brother is actually like? an upstanding person even after turning? like he's a zombie who left and has been staying out of the apartment building

ah fuck electricity off

oh yeah how will building representative and her husband use jeong gook and his power via gun due to his devotion to the priest

did joo hyung open the fucking door for novel writer's brother even though he didn't even want it?

tae seok is interesting - he wants to develop an antibody using Sae Bom but doesn't want higher-ups to get wind of it

Ep 8 (Mar 22)

ah she's hiding her infected brother in the abandoned 1102 apartment?

so did Joo Hyung mans do anything other than give the food? ah tried to convince him to come inside

Sae Bom is really brash with her actions since the beginning but it's been interesting to see how Yi Hyun is also getting slightly more brash or rude each episode

lmfao ya Yi Hyun, getting married was surely the right decision

calling it D-Day when it's supposed to be the last day of quarantine is ah

omg not the doctor guy giving everybody drinks? must be him and there must be Next in it

lmfao and he even got the building rep to lie that its hers

did joo hyung really think it'd be lifted td n he cud escape n avoid them

i get why the son is selfish enough to not want to stay in the same house as his mother when she could become a zombie again anytime but he really raided their food storage lmfao

so some ppl know sae bom was bitten

i wanna trust Andrew n will be sad if he's evil

lmfao Joo Hyung drank it but threw it all up but what's gonna happen to Yi Hyun? Sae Bom could be immune

okayyyyy I'm glad that the gym trainer telling Yi Hyun he's got Next in his car than Joo Hyung was asking about and Yi Hyun saying he'll "take care of it" has come around lol

so Yi Hyun had switched the pulls multiple episodes ago. Hope those Next pills are somewhere safe though

ah the jeong gook hyung this turning against Sae Bom and Yi Hyun with the guidance of religion isn't surprising at all

Tae Seok using these old rich men to "gather data" oof good, they literally injected themselves with a potential cure by sneaking it out but didn't know that the cure failed in the second trails dumbasses

oof Tae Seok's wife Young In is awake and speaking now

Ep 9 (Mar 22/23)

they're really quarantining them to the apartment so that they can't meddle oof

lol Yi Hyun being like it's okay Seo Yoon, they're not all mean just mostly scared EXCEPT Joo Hyung or whatever, he's the devil

ah they're so dramatic, making their hands bleed

Joo Hyung dropped his knife

but I wish Yi Hyun dropped his knife

oof rip grocery girl

oh yeah we're still looking for a bloodied towel, I thought it would've been the novel writer and her brother but maybe it's the old woman who knows or somebody else infected

bro wtf why was the priest boutta lick the blood off the floor? is he just fucked in the head or is he also a zombie to be and that's why those other zombies didn't wanna eat him? <- maybe Andrew is that way too

please I'm actually dying at how cutely Yi Hyun's trying to defend himself and his decisions and saying he's fine despite the cut and Sae Bom's so mad that he did that

oh I see so there's a mutation where they only show their zombie-self when they timely want to + Tae Seok thinks it's probably occurred in Seyand Forest already (it happens when a lot of the zombies are at one place?), so I'd guess the priest is that way + maybe grandma old lady? idk

I have 15 mins before class so I was like Ill watch some before then but I watched 3 ads, moved to 35 mins, watched 3 ads, watched 15 secs, watched 3 ads like vikiiii brooooo

is the pastor not being attacked because he’s devout and spiritual or because he’s also a zombie oh jeong gook my guy

is the pastor gonna lick the blood on the wall do it do it do it

oh he’s drinking so much water

lmfao his smiley blood mouth

so the pastor was the one who had the bloody towel thrown away

oh this lady loves the possibility of being the resident representative so much. wouldn’t even let her husband go to the gym to isolate, she wants him in their room

lmfao this priest literally ran outside and is wreaking havoc on residents so funny i want him to kill joo hyung so bad

plsssss not joo hyung listening to attorney and his mistress having sex and them putting their clothes on with excuses while mans locks himself in a room so funny

yi hyun making his hand bleed again so funny

can jeong gook come with his fucking gun hes so useless fr

lmfaooo jeong gook managed to get priest to throw himself off the balcony

of course she’s gonna say sae bom and yi hyun killed him

mistress is looking for Oh Joo Hyung’s bitcoin account password - is that tattoo on his arm his password lol that’d be funny

Yi Hyun has a lot of insight on the fear of somebody infected not wanting to tell, i guess it’ll come in handy later when he also probably gets infected

i should be more annoyed at Yi Hyun being jealous over Sae Bom and 1501 but i’m just like hehe cute

Han Tae Seok crying at his wife’s bedside

save the mother obviously if it’s baby vs mother

oh the hand washing in the sink water is

oh lmfao the words of wisdom came from Yi Hyun already being scratched the day before, not for future

Ep 10 (Mar 23)

bro so many things: 1501’s penthouse seems suspicious and ominous, Yi Hyun scratched, Tae Seok lying by saying Sae Bom doesn’t have antibodies and keeps wanting Seo Yoon out for some reason (is he gonna fucking experiment on her or something)

oh 1501 captured? or did he leave? was forced to leave? i wish they’d also check the roof maybe

oh is the door beside their building open so that zombies can leave? is that was Tae Seok was talking about last ep? or two eps ago

okay it is very possible Andrew saw him leave because Andrew watched everything from balconies and roofs (also is he infected too? since the zombies had walked through a door bc he said so?) but that one reddit comment had made it seem like he’s up to no good later on in the show so did he capture 1501

Joo Hyung still wears his wedding band also did he really not see attorney and mistress together or he’s just pretending? i’d guess the latter. also he surely wants from her and she’s also wanting his bitcoin password

Yi Hyun and his water ah also people have all been noticing his weirdness like Tae Seok in the walkie talkie and Joo Hyung in 1501 apartment

ah Yi Hyun sitting and thinking about moments with Sae Bom

noona ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pls literally alskdja attorney and mistress having sex in 1102 for a sec i was like ?!1501 with zombie man??? D:

is 1501 dead or smth why are there flies

oh my fucking god somebody bit and killed the old cleaning lady and covered her with the lime powder in 1501 house

asking oh joo hyung for help is so

lmfao pls they even went to the dead body room but left cuz it smelled

where did i previously see the guy go plays novel writer’s brother. true beauty? no… but he’s familiar somehow

lol was Andrew gonna actually run away with the food or what

also what happened to like vlogger and his parents

oh his wife Young In.

i wish they’d just somehow tell Sae Bom to come in and give blood like she would do it for sure

damn vlogger finally has enough of a heart to give his parents food. though i wish he’d tell sae bom and yi hyun to give his parents two head counts of food instead lol

are we gonna finally find out if andrew is good or not like i’ve had sort of confirmation that there’s something off about him since like ep 4 on-air thread or smth so pls

well no proper confirmation but ominous music while Andrew sits on 1501’s throne so

oh yi hyun can control his turning this like the mutated zombies

did oh joo hyung know about the generator electricity from 1501?

the cleaning husband is so annoying

goddamn yi hyun healing too fast so cutting his palm

i thought Tae Seok told there to be a way for zombies to leave will we ever come back to that? i thought maybe 1501 left that way but seems not

more Andrew lore nowwww pls

not the flu in EPS door

oh Ahn Guk Jin/Andrew is not who he says he is

oh fuck 1501 dead and stored in EPS by Andrew. he killed cleaning lady too and he killed another man whose identity he presumed

oh fuck poor Seo Yoon

oh the way all the neighbours are standing in front of the door with their bags is so Strangers From Hell

are we supposed to know him when he takes off his madb? Andrew?

a serial killer, wasn’t expecting that but interesting. so he’s been just going around slashing people in the middle of this zombie apocalypse.

Ep 11 (Mar 23)

some of these fuckers knew Andrew was threatening people or killing them broooo death fr

fucker is taking Seo Yoon?

is Yi Hyun gonna be able to be able control himself around all this Jeong Gook blood

these people are so fucked in the head like i get survival mode maybe but Joo Hyung and Building Rep rlly planned on how Andrew will kill sae bom and yi hyun

oh Andrew with the hammer and bloody hand on his conquered throne

Yi hyun realizing that he too is probably gonna turn out the same way as the zombies

why have we not had a single satisfying kill yet like the vlogger had stopped being a pos a while ago so them surrounding his unstarting car was just horrifying

the cleaner husband genuinely has rocks for brains like everybody dumb for working with Andrew but he’s yelling that “Andrew is a nobody” 2 metres away from him like be fr

she knows about his zombienes now

ooh she confessed

joo hyung tryna fucking kill jeong gook with a pillow

lmfao pls the blockchain stuff attorney keeps spouting

yeeee attorney wife !!

but also i’m nervous that andrew can see the elevator going up and down

bro jeong gook is bleeding don’t let bo ram grocery girl close to him

not this old video confession to sae bom

Ep 12 (Mar 23)

final ep ah

oh Seo Yoon getting to see her mom after so long

i kinda get it, kinda don't like they're using up the antibodies on the wife and Seo Yoon's mom

okay she's saying there'll be other people with the antibodies but ??? man idgi how will you find these people and when?

why did they change clothes

"I always knew we had a connection" wow lesbianism

please this beating up funny lass

I don't get it like okay I get being emotional over your beloveds but you kinda do need to see people as numbers when it's come to this like how to get the least people killed even if it means killing a few people to make sure more people don't die like idkkkk with the cure being used, more people are obviously gonna die and stuff right? am i wrong? is the cure like non-reproducible unless it comes directly from Sae Bom's body and she has no more left? but shouldn't they try?

oh please please I hope they all tear each other apart and rip each other limb by limb

lmfaooooo please Joo Hyung doing all this when he's not even a zombie yet, just sane and munching on people so funny

please why is this episode randomly so funny like the brother-sister author zombie argument about blood-drinking

everybody taking pulls, like the cleaning wife feeding it to his husband

oh she really beat Andrew dead with a bat that's pretty fun she's so fucked in the head

oh she didn't succeed in beating him dead

pls Joo Hyung clutching the notebook like a child

there's only 30 mins left, what's gonna happen?

lol the building representative laughing is pretty fun

why is Joo Hyung so funny, him wanting to be but unable to become a zombie is so funny

kiss tiny peck

pls not the attorney calling Soo Yoon after treating her like trash and cheating on her and everything

lol the loss in bitcoin is expected

lmfao that's really funny the old couple and vlogger family being like wow they could knock on our door right now and the soldiers really do lol

pls the way they're taking away the novelist's brother is pretty funny

the way the cleaners are literally so fucked in the head with greed and stuff

all of them really are like the fucking building representative wanna lady is really wild her mental breakdown has been pretty fun

lol ofc Andrew in 1501. yknow he doesn't have any actual reasoning like why does he wanna kill these 2 501 folks so badly compared to the other people in the apartment?

6 minutes left they're not gonna kill off Hyun right now right like they won't right? that makes no sense right? no they wouldn't right? the soldiers are in the building and they're taking novelist brother antibody carrier so he can't actually die right? I feel like it would've ben more dramatic if so

bruh Building Rep Wannabe and Joo Hyung on trial ah

oh it's been a year

bro what I feel like there's some scenes missing hmmm I should go see what scene tVN has that's not in Viki <- couldn't find anything

Overall:

Good but not great. I liked the first quarter and last quarter most because there was more action and things happening, whereas the middle half was slower, had less action, and was more people-based. There were different characters and they had distinct personalities and circumstances and I like the fucked-in-the-head neighbours trope but most of the side characters were pretty one-dimensional. I also wish we got to see some actual proper satisfying murder.

The romance was barely there but it was still cute. I liked how comfortable they were with each other and I liked the platonic/non-romantic moments as well. Usually, I don't like it when the male lead forcefully moves around or orders the female lead but it's not too bad this time because I think 1) they're friends and it kinda makes sense if friends are so aggressive and 2) she kinda does the same to him, though more with words and less manhandling.

Rating: 7/10

[sokkastyles]

What's with this common perception of K//taang as this "pure, wholesome, vanilla ship" when it actually has a lot of problematic and misogynistic elements to it?

Part of the reason is that people love to make simplistic dichotomies, which is odd for a show which has a major theme of breaking down dichotomies, but there it is.

At first glance zutara has a lot of the same beats as other enemies to lovers and hero/villain ships. Especially those involving a villainous male character and a heroic female character. And a lot of the appeal for THAT comes from the death and the maiden trope, which is as old as dirt. See Hades and Persephone. There’s also some Beauty and the Beast vibes. These are old, old tropes and they endure despite or because of the way they tap into darker aspects of the human psyche and desire. In a lot of these types of ships, the darkness is the appeal.

And zutara has some of this, which I suppose explains the popularity of the whole “I’ll save you from the pirates” thing, but really, if you were looking for that kind of ship, zutara isn’t really the one you would go for, because it’s like, the lightest possible version of this type of dynamic. Because Zuko at his most menacing is never really that threatening to the gaang, and most of the good shipping material for zutara happens after Zuko stops being such a jerk.

The appeal of any ship involving Zuko is really more of the appeal of the redeemed rival. Despite Zuko’s redemption, though, a lot of people still try to position zutara as the “dark” ship in comparison to KA, partly because the show does this in some ways - although in doing so, they kinda shot themselves in the foot, see episodes like “The Southern Raiders” and “Ember Island Players” which try to push the Zuko vs Aang thing in terms of their relationship to Katara but end up making Zuko look better in comparison.

There’s also the stigma around abuse victims that I’ve seen in other fandoms. Zuko is the “dark” option because he’s “damaged.” Even though his ending is one of hope and healing, a lot of the anti discourse reads as victim blaming, particularly when people say that Mai is a better option for Zuko because she “handles” him or puts up with him. Which is horrible for both Mai and Zuko.

I would also argue that it’s just regular old misogyny. We as a society are taught to view female desire itself as dark, which is why a lot of these types of love triangles follow the same pattern. The plucky good guy in pursuit of the girl who is attracted to a good-looking “bad boy” who is no good for her. By the end of the story, the girl will learn that the guy who is pursuing her is the one she should have chosen all along. This is the reason the myth of the Nice Guy persists. And the show creators themselves have used these words to talk about KA vs ZK, despite Katara never actually expressing attraction to Zuko in the series itself. But the idea that she could be is definitely present in the series. It’s also present in the way the fandom talks about these two ships.

And this is what really sours KA for me, too. I’ve seen SO many posts about how you have to ship it because “Aang is so nice.” And, um??? No, you don’t. In general, being “nice” is such a bizarre criteria for romance, that’s what so-called Nice Guys don’t understand. People who call themselves nice guys also usually aren’t that nice, but that isn’t the whole issue. The issue is that being nice doesn’t entitle you to a relationship.

And once you consider yourself a nice guy, you can justify all sorts of nastiness and entitlement. That’s the main difference between how KA is presented and how Zutara is presented. KA begins with the assumption that eventually Katara and Aang will get together, so every obstacle they face is just a bump in the road. Aang is, after all, so nice. He would never really hurt Katara. Therefore, if Katara feels hurt by Aang, it probably wasn’t as bad as she thought. Aang’s so nice, after all.

Which is...not actually all that wholesome at all. It has nothing at all to do with how nice Aang actually is, but the very fact that no relationship should be built on the assumption that one partner is infallible or “earned” a relationship due to being nice. That’s not how it works.

Contrast that with a guy who knows that he is capable of mistakes, who knows he’s capable of hurting others but is also capable of admitting it and apologizing and working to correct that behavior. That’s actually way more wholesome in reality.

I’m not talking about a situation where an abusive partner acts like they’re entitled for their partner to take them back because they’re sorry. In that situation there’s a likelihood that the abusive person will do the same thing again, whether or not they are actually sorry. But the beauty of Zutara is that Zuko never expects anything from Katara. He doesn’t change for Katara or the promise of her love or friendship. He changes himself, by himself, and it’s only then that Katara accepts him.

The reality is that anything that is presented as pure and wholesome is probably something you should immediately question. This is true wrt relationships, institutions, authority, and the discourse you read on the internet. People who are truly good don’t have to convince you that they’re pure. People who are truly good know that they’re fallible, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise probably has an agenda that you should be wary of.

That’s why Iroh says that Zuko is pure, truly pure, at the end of the series. Because he’s been through the darkness and come out a better person for it. I’ll take that any day of the week over idealized vanilla white bread with misogynistic undertones.

[nickywhoisi]

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY so thanks to @land-of-diesel-10 for just messaging me about the cool Magic Railroad behind the scenes photos, I have now been made aware of all of these incredible finds! So much production pics for both Thomas & Friends AND Tugs!! All of which may not yet have made it our way, but I intend to change that real quick! Thanks also goes to, of course, the choo choo groop discord that Coqui’s a part of, and the crew who went on twitter to upload all of this for the fandoms! Here’s where they all are if you want to take a peek!

I’ll leave Coqui to post all about D10 and the Magic Railroad in particular, but I definitely want to showcase these lovely Tugs images, and talk about them. It is so cool to see how it was made!

Wow, this is apparently how massive the sets were, pictured here at Bigg City Port. Look at how small that real life guy is at the very left. As we know, this was based on New York, but looking at it right now as a Vancouverite, I could almost swear that this was somewhere here, almost like a mishmash of the mainland and the island. The right side looks reminiscent of New West, while the right has that little blue and white chapel. I have seen a building on the island that looks almost like that, especially the placement being closer to the water. And everything around this area I grew up in has been pretty industrial like this anyway, so a part of me weirdly wants to headcannon that Bigg City is actually in Canada. Oh, but that’s just me being silly. We can also see the bridge which is so obviously San Fran bridge. But anyway, my eyes cannot get enough of all the details in this photo alone. There’s so many of these little buildings! So much that wouldn’t have even been more than brief background shots I bet, but the madlads put so much effort into making this set look like an actual full city! Everything is placed right, and they didn’t have to go that extra mile when the focus would have been elsewhere, but they did it! I wish I could walk around this set and peer down at all of those little hidden streets...see just how much detail went into everything. Like a curious kaiju.

Here’s another size comparison shot, with some guys from the crew standing next to a lighthouse(?) building and some of the tugs. If I’m guessing right, it could be TenCents, Sunshine, and...Boomer? I swear I see some orange, but then it might be a trick of the light, and it’s TopHat or something. As good of a pic it is, it’s very dark. Would anyone else be able to tell if this was a still from one of the episodes, or not? I would be really excited to know if this was a production on one of the episodes that didn’t make it past scripting! And I couldn’t possibly know what all that pile of glunkety is in front. Maintenance materials...?

Here’s a neat one! We see a shot of the bridge from a different angle, and see where the edge of the universe is. All propped up by a lot of wood. I can only begin to imagine how they managed to hold all the water used for the show. It looks like the water was always there, but I’m waiting to see a pic where it’s emptied. And we can see that the horizon shot was not so far away at all; just a cloth picture just like in the old-timey days of film! It still looks beautiful though. Oh, and there are the pipes for the tugs to have their smoke stacks working! Very neat.

Oooooh, and here we have one of the big ships that appeared in the show! I believe this is the famous Duchess? I always wondered why the main cast of boats had faces, but those like the Duchess didn’t, yet the tugs treated her like she was as sentient as them? Seemed to me like she was just a...regular not-alive cruise ship, but ehh. Finally, we can see quite clearly how all the boats were rigged and carted around...maybe at least while they were out of the water. Wild how all of that wiring is next to a giant basin of water that could short circuit everything if the wrong pieces fell in, eh? And I can’t not mention the weird-ass sight of Izzy without a hat. Good lord he is so bald he looks to be cleaved. Someone help him

[welcometothecrockpot]

Hi again! Also, top 5 pretty scenery in Midnight Mass?

Hello again! Thank you for sending me asks! Oooo this is a good one!

I feel like Crockett Island itself is one of the characters- it has its own face and presence that changes as the story goes on and I just love that

5. The Crock Pot Luck

The set for this scene is just so cute. And it kinda tricks us! It takes this place where horrible things are happening and are going to happen and it wraps it in this colorful and quirky package, it’s great

4. Warren riding his bike through town

These shots are our into to Crockett and I love this sequence! Especially with Neil Diamond playing, it’s perfect. We get to see how weathered everything is, it’s kinda ominous

3. Bev’s final moments on the beach

Holy shit this shot is beautiful. Ok yeah it was filmed on a set but still, it’s such a weird mixture of sorrow and hope and satisfaction seeing this gorgeous shot of the sunrise bringing Bev what she deserved.

2. The aerial shot of Crockett in episode 1

Yes, it’s CGI but damn, it really drives home how isolated this place is and sets a tone for the rest of the series. Tiny island, nothing around it, no one to hear you scream. Such a good vibe.

1. Saint Patrick’s church

Literally any shots in or around this church. It is its own character, just like the island. It’s old, it has a long history, so many holy words seeped into its walls, and now it’s the center of so much horror and so much hope at the same time. I feel like it embodies Father Paul’s good intentions gone horribly wrong, Bev’s fanatical turned despicable devotion, and stands there so foreboding, like it had some kind of influence on everything that happened. That’s good stuff.

Thank you again for asking! I could talk about this show all day, every day

[katierosefun]

somehow made it through february with all of its ups and downs, and so we’re here with another rec list! i didn’t consume as nearly as much media as i did in january because the semester is now in swing for me, but here’s the stuff i did manage to watch/listen to/read!

kdrama: 

all about my romance 

you know, i’m not the biggest fan of shows about politics, but . . . maybe i just kinda wanted to watch a fluffy rom-com and not think about much else, and so i watched all about my romance, which . . . tbh, isn’t exactly the best in rom-com genre, but shin ha kyun playing a fool in love with the idealistic and passionate representative no min young (lee min jung) was pretty cute. basically, this show is about two different politicians in different parties--kim soo young (shin ha kyun) being in what i think is meant to be the more conservative party, no min young being on the more liberal party. what’s interesting though is that kim soo young apparently used to be on the liberal party too before switching sides. of course, you wouldn’t think that these two would ever fall in love, but after some rather funny events, rep. kim falls in love with rep. no, and together, they do their best to keep a secret relationship while also pretending to be enemies in public. 

again, it’s probably not my favorite kdrama in the world, but it had its cute moments! not really sure if i would watch this again, but you know . . . shin ha kyun looked really good in this drama, so maybe watch it for that?

tv:

midnight mass 

even though i was spoiled for a good chunk of this show, i was still incredibly impressed with this story. mike flanagan truly knows how to combine horror with love (or maybe horror was always about love), and he’s really now my favorite director/creator because whoo boy-- 

but anyways, for those who somehow don’t know, this show is about a really sleepy, kinda downtrodden island town. and then the new priest comes to the town’s church: father paul (hamish linklater), who’s charismatic + influential and may or may not have his own agenda with the whole place. i don’t really want to spoil this show a whole ton, but it’s incredibly . . . powerful. granted, it’s very monologue-y (moreso than other of flanagan’s works), but given the atmosphere + the themes of the show, i feel like that was all warranted. it’s only 7 episodes, so it’s a pretty quick watch. it’s also not exactly . . . hm, even though it’s horror, there weren’t any jumpscares. i think this might actually be a good “horror” show for those who don’t really like horror--or it might be a good entrypoint into the genre. (lots of blood, maybe like one or two jump scares, so very few in comparison to other horror shows/works . . . and really, of course, rather beautiful. the last shot will always haunt me.)

movies:

i am easy to find 

this is an interesting short film--24 minutes long and unique in that it really is a very long music video of this album. i don’t really know how to describe it, except this is one of those short films where nothing happens but also everything happens. it’s just one woman living her whole life, from birth till death, and it really is something that made my head spin a little bit, because what is a life anyways? what makes a life? not surprised that this was directed by mike mills, the same man who directed one of my favorite movies of all time, beginners (2010), because these two pieces of his work are definitely in conversation with each other. (life, but now composed of so many little moments.) i don’t have much else to say except i think i’ll appreciate this short film more when i’m older, but right now, it was a quiet watch for when my brain was tired.

the present

this is a 40 minute samsung ad, but you know what? i’m not going to complain, because the whole cast was so cute, and i witnessed shin ha kyun being literally the cutest, and it was a funny feel-good short film that made me make a lot of “awww” sounds, so that’s all that matters. 

basically, this short film  is about a pair of young up-and-coming entrepreneurs oh ha neul (kim jun myon) and bo ra (kim seul gi), whose lives are temporarily interrupted by the sudden appearance of a man out of time (shin ha kyun). there’s not much more to it than that, but this short film was so cute, and it was def. made with the goal to encourage young entrepreneurs, and it made me so :’))

gerald’s game

. . . so this was a movie. that i watched. tbh, i was kinda watching it pretty fast and looking away from the most gruesome scenes (because there are gruesome scenes), so idk if i really watched the movie so much as just winced through it, but still, i think i appreciate this movie for how it so cleverly dug into dealing with trauma. also, it’s worth noting that gerald’s game, the novel by stephen king, was thought to be the book that couldn’t be adapted into a movie (easy to see why: very little change in scenery, very few characters, etc), but mike flanagan + carla gugino + bruce greenwood delivered. 

i kinda wish i liked this movie a bit more, bc it was clever, but also it made me so squeamish. basically, it’s about a married couple that go up to their lake house as a holiday (ie. fix their marriage). gerald (bruce greenwood), the husband, has a heart attack after chaining jessie (carla gugino) to the bed bc of a sex game . . . and so jessie’s stuck there with her dead husband and slowly goes mad bc . . . y’know, dehydration. also trauma. because of those super serious themes, major trigger warnings bc there’s quite . . . a lot of unsettling stuff here (gore, child molestation, etc). 

that said, i do appreciate the intense character-heavy focus on what trauma can do to a person, but also, there were some parts that i didn’t like. (specifically the weird serial killer subplot. because there’s a serial killer subplot and it doesn’t really do anything to the plot and i kinda wish it wasn’t there. but y’know, okay. i get it. also, this movie made me hate dogs. i didn’t think that was possible, but this movie really made me hate dogs.) so . . . idk, carla gugino + bruce greenwood are fantastic, and mike flagan’s fantastic in really depicting this story, but also, there’s . . . so many squicky things / elements to this story so i honestly wouldn’t watch it again, but i guess ? if you’re interested in flagan’s other stuff, then ? have fun ? (but also maybe be sure that uh . . . you don’t have anything in your stomach beforehand.)

spencer

i watched this movie on a really cloudy day, which i think was appropriate. it was just really . . . slow-moving and kind of chilling (it’s always cold) in the first 3/4 of the film, but i think it’s appropriate. this film is basically about princess diana (played by kristen stewart) and her christmas weekend, presumably the one that kind of defined for her to divorce prince charles. 

okay, so for starters . . . i didn’t really think i’d like this movie at first, in part because the beginning is pretty slow, but as i kept watching, i just found myself getting very slowly sucked in. there are some really amazing scenes in this movie (god . . . i can’t talk about them normally), and more than anything though, i just felt very sad about princess diana. that said, a really beautifully made film. the music and the writing and kristen stewart . . . everything just slowly comes together in this really phenomenal way, and when i tell you there are some excellent scenes in this movie--there are some genuinely excellent scenes in this movie (god, the dining room scene . . . the pearls . . . that whole sequence might have driven me insane). 

minari 

there are very few movies that genuinely makes me feel like a whole person, but minari made me feel like a whole person. something that was just so beautifully made and done with so much honesty and love and also made me feel like . . . a person. which is to say, korean-american. which is to say, there are very few american movies with korean american characters that actually makes me feel real (instead of a caricature or a stereotype). it’s not surprising that minari is one of those films, seeing that it’s made by lee isaac chung, himself being korean-american growing up in arkansas. 

god, i can’t talk about this movie without getting insanely personal, but basically: this movie is about a korean-american family moving out to arkansas to start a farm growing korean vegetables and fruits. the father, jacob (steven yeun), is optimistic, ready to start this new life. his wife monica (han ye ri (my BELOVED)) is much more anxious about this chapter, while their children anne (noel cho) and david (alan kim) take in this new environment like any other korean-american kid. (partial bewilderment, partial excitement, but also concern about their parents’ straining relationship in the face of this sudden shift in their lives.) in an effort to make this transition easier, monica’s mother (youn yuh jung) moves in, and the story really starts from there. 

everything about this movie is just excellent. the acting is amazing, the camerawork and the music is stellar, and the way this is very much a film about the korean-american experience is just . . . well, to be said simply, i’ve never seen a film that’s really got at the heart of being korean-american besides this one. i kind of can’t talk normally about this film because i’ll just get overwhelmed and lie down, but even if you’re not korean-american, i highly recommend this film, just because i think in general, it’s one of those insanely wonderful films that i think everyone and anyone should watch. it’s about a family, it’s about new beginnings, it’s about the hardship of new beginnings, it’s about dreams and failed dreams, it’s about a desire to have a better life, it’s about starting over and over again despite it all, it’s about what you do when you need to start over again . . . god. what a beautiful film.

the secret life of walter mitty 

i watched this movie for the first time in theaters when it came out. i was probably 12, maybe 13 years old, and back then, i didn’t really understand the entirety of the movie. i just thought that the music was cool, and i liked the settings, but that was about it. then i rewatched it when i was 13, 14 in a hotel room, and i remember i was sick that day, and i was feeling really alone, but i found myself falling in love a little more with this movie. 

i watched it again, now at 22, and i discovered that i couldn’t really move after the film, just because i felt really. emotional. basically, for those who don’t know, this movie is about this kinda ordinary guy named walter mitty (ben stiller). he seems to zone out every now and then, fantasizing all these dramatic and cool moments in his mundane life. then something happens at work, which leads him down this wild goose chase to find a guy that he’s been working with for the last 16 years. this goose chase leads him to all sorts of places: greenland, iceland, afghanistan . . . and yet while this film is very much about being brave and doing something stupid and impulsive, it’s also very much about finding something beautiful even in the quieter moments of your life. or like. what makes a life a life. 

music:

laurel hell by mitski

god. how do i describe how this album makes me feel? i was writing my first paper of the semester (my first paper of the last semester undergrad, no less) when this album came out, and i just kind of felt myself get swept away. as always, mitski really is this poetic force. her sounds and her lyrics are just so interesting to me in that all her songs are so short, but i still feel so full after listening to them, which i think is the sign of really good songwriting. jarring, cutting straight to the bone and yet able to fit so many complex emotions . . . god, that’s mitski. anyways. my favorite tracks are love me more and i guess, both of which absolutely wrecked me. also there’s nothing left for you. i cried a lot listening to there’s nothing left for you. and i guess. and love me more. just something about burn out, something about feeling like everyone’s moving on, and you’re moving on too, but kind of in this tired way. something about feeling thankful but also a bit sad because there’s some chapter ending or your life’s moving in a direction that you’ve predicted for a while now, but it’s finally becoming a reality and you don’t know what to do with all these feelings. 

even if things fall apart by lee seung yoon 

so, i knew lee seung yoon first from his fantastic song we are on the law school ost, and then the touching the giving tree from the our beloved summer ost, but when i came back home for break this month, my mom showed me a bunch of lee seung yoon’s videos from his time as a jtbc show contestant, where he made his big hit. my mom really loved his story (33 years old, singing not inside cafes, but outside them because cafes didn’t accept him . . . going on this show as one last attempt on his singing before finally calling it quits on his dream), and i found myself so pleasantly surprised by his voice and my personal connection to him as an artist (i was like “EOMMA I WAS APPARENTLY ALREADY LISTENING TO HIM?”). he’s so incredibly versatile, and this album of his really shows that. there’s something so . . . satisfying about his voice, and he’s able to touch different styles so well. he can do the teasing growl, the soulful mellow thingie (besties. ... i’m not a singer idk) . . . his songs are so sweepingly optimistic and soft and bright, despite his own hardships, and i think i would rather like to hear his music forever. a true gem. even if you don’t understand korean, i recommend giving his stuff a listen, especially his title song even if things fall apart. 

sleep well beast by the national

you know, i was familiar with some of the national’s songs, but i got properly into them this month, maybe because i watched i am easy to find (and they did the soundtrack for that short film). i was already familiar with some of the songs from sleep well beast, but i gave the whole album a real listen and just quietly fell in love with them. the national is just one of those bands where the lyrics and sounds weave into this really long, really beautiful poem, and i just found myself getting really lost in the music. there were lots of cloudy days this month, so i found myself sometimes just waking up and listening to them for hours during those days and nights. my favorite tracks include nobody else will be there and guilty party.

books: (because oh my god, i actually read a book this month? thank goodness, because i missed reading) 

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone 

i think someone reviewed this book as just poetry disguised as genre fiction, because that is exactly how i can describe this book. poetry, but disguised as genre fiction. something to do with a war in time and space. two different people, presumably women, who are apparently the best of the best and writing letters to one another from different sides of the war. 

i don’t really know how else to describe this book other than insane. but a brilliant, exciting insane. i am reading the letters between lovers, and what’s weird is that i think a lot of these kinds of books (the epistolary novel) can get boring rather quickly--or they can attempt to stuff in some kind of plot, although it doesn’t always work (at least not for me). 

but this book really gets away with it in that in these letters themselves, there’s not so much plot as there is just really witty, really lovely banter but also, somehow, miraculously, you can tell these characters are growing fonder and fonder for each other. their letters to one another are snappy, quick to the bone--and then you’ll read a line that’ll just make you sink and hold your breath because ah, that’s what it means to be truly in love with someone. and i dunno--i suppose i truly am a hopeless romantic, because i am and always will always find something so lovely and endearing about falling in love with someone’s voice before actually hearing it first. 

i don’t really have much more to say about this book other than that if you really want to read a book that’s relatively short (and this book is really short--only 200 pages!) and just full of incredibly lyrical writing, then i highly recommend this book. 

[escapewithbts]

Secrets in a Foreign Language (Part Four) - Jungkook

<<previous _ next>>

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A few weeks later you entered Jungkook’s apartment with your heart feeling full. You had felt so lonely these beginning months in this new country of South Korea but seeing Jungkook every week had become a sort of comfort, especially now that you knew the feeling was mutual. Once you had gotten the awkwardness of questioning why the place was already clean whenever you got there, you used the time to just hang out with each other. You got along so unbelievably well and frequently had to remind yourself he was literally one of the most famous people in the world right now. It often blew your mind. Maybe it was because his face was all over the city, the tv, the grocery store, maybe because wherever you went you heard his singing voice in songs, or speaking voice in interviews, but the concept of fame was just something you had never thought about; the media giving celebrities an almost unrealistic and ethereal standard to look up to. But that was just it. Idols were people, too. Regular human beings, just like yourself. Jungkook was your living proof. And you really liked that about him.

He wasn’t in the living room nor the kitchen when you got there this time.

 “Kook?” you called out, using the nickname you had begun to refer to him by.

You went further into the home, down the hallway towards the bedrooms. As you got closer to the master and peered inside, you saw the adjoining bathroom door open and could hear the sound of the shower running.

Ah. So that’s where Jungkook was.

You retreated back into the living area, helped yourself to a bottle of water from the fridge and decided to sit on the couch while you waited for him to return.

And he did just that.

You were browsing Instagram on your phone when his voice startled you.

“Hey, (y/n)!”

You took a swig from the water bottle right as you looked up to respond to him, immediately choking on the liquid as you did so, for Jungkook had appeared in the room in nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants, his glistening upper half on complete display.

You learned early on that one of Jungkook’s hobbies was working out, but damn you never thought you would be a witness to all the hard work he put in. The pictures of his abs on the internet were definitely not photoshopped, an eight pack clearly visible on his abdomen. Prominent pecs, and muscular upper arms, the right one covered by a whole sleeve of tattoos. Oh my god, the tattoos. Holy shit. You had seen some of them from the days where he wore short sleeves around you, but now they were all on display, and they were just as beautiful as you had imagined.

The pants he wore were sitting low, (dangerously low) on his narrow waist, deep chiseled v shaped muscles along his hips; you attempted not to think about where they ended.

Finally, you looked up at his face. His dark hair was still wet from the shower, it was pushed back from his forehead. He had a blush on his pale cheeks, but a smirk on his thin lips, clearly aware of how flustered you had become. You cleared your throat and looked away in embarrassment, suddenly feeling guilty for staring at your friend like he was a piece of meat. But he was just so damn attractive, and you were only human, and it had been so long since you had seen a man shirtless, let alone naked… oh god, no, you were not going to go there, not with Jungkook like this in the room with you. Focus, focus on anything else.

“How-how are you today?” you stuttered.

Smooth.

Jungkook strolled over to the kitchen island and grabbed an oversized black shirt that was laying on the back of the stool. Fortunately (or was it unfortunately?) for you, he pulled it up over his head and let it fall at his sides before shaking his damp and messy hair. Then he smiled at you and walked over to the large couch, taking a seat right next to you. The smell of a masculine body wash and fabric softener wafted into your nose, instantly making you want to curl into his side and rest against him. You swallowed hard, trying to shake those thoughts from your mind.

It was just because he smelled nice, right?

“I’m good. We shot an episode of Run! BTS this morning and we were running around a lot,” he chuckled to himself, “it was fun, but I felt gross after. Sorry for being in the shower when you were here.”

You shook your head.

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you were. I wouldn’t want to hang out with you if you were stinky.”

You plugged you nose and made a grossed-out face at him and he laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“Well then hopefully I smell okay now.”

Ah if only he knew.

Jungkook grabbed the tv remote from the coffee table and handed it to you.

“You pick what we watch today.”

You shrugged and turned on the tv.

“Okay.”

You didn’t immediately go to a streaming app, you wanted to see what kind of things were on live tv at the moment. You secretly loved watching shows with commercials because while they were on it gave you and Jungkook a chance to talk more.

As you scrolled through the channels you weren’t hopeful for anything exciting as it was 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon after all.  

But suddenly, something caught your attention. The mention of Jungkook’s name. You paused your channel changing for a second to listen.

It looked like a trashy show, much like TMZ in the United States, where random people seemed to think they had the right to gossip about celebrities.

 “…Jungkook of BTS and idol soloist Kim Cho-hee are still going strong it seems.” One of the reporters commented.

“Yes, did you see that picture of them cuddling close at the restaurant they frequent in Gangnam? Sources say they were there for hours!”

A picture of the two of them popped up on the screen, sitting close in a corner of a dimly lit restaurant booth.  

“I even heard they shared a kiss when he dropped her off at her place!”

With that you felt your stomach flip and your face get hot.

Uh oh.

Oh no.

Did you perhaps feel... jealous?

Fuck.

“You think they’ll get married? Be together forever?”

They all laughed.

“(y/n) …” Jungkook mumbled from next to you.

“… way too young, but only time will tell!”

“(y/n),” Jungkook repeated while shaking your shoulder gently, startling you out of your thoughts and snapping your attention away from the screen, “do you mind… um, changing it?”

You fiddled with the remote in your now sweaty hands.

“Oh, sorry, no, um, I’m sorry.”

You complied with his request and moved to the next channel, something about wild animals native to the continent of Asia.

There was silence from Jungkook, and you didn’t dare look at him, your heart pounding inside your chest. It felt awkward now, like the elephant that had been in the room throughout your whole friendship, or whatever this was, was now making an unavoidable appearance. You were debating in your head whether you should finally ask him about it all when he spoke up first.

  “We’ve never kissed,” he started quietly.

You ran a hand through your hair, realizing you did not want to hear about it after all. You wanted to stay in this state of naïve bliss.

 “Jungkook…” you trailed off.

Plus, no matter how curious you were it still wasn’t your business.

He placed his hand on your arm surprisingly, making you look up into his worried looking eyes.

“Please, I really would like to talk to someone about it and since you-you already know it’s not real, and no one else really does- “

“Do your members?” you interrupted him.

He shook his head and looked down.

“No, they think it’s real.”

You took a deep breath, now even more shocked he had trusted you so easily with such seemingly confidential information those many weeks ago.

You closed your eyes tightly, the question you’ve been dying to ask on the tip of your tongue.

 “So can I ask... why? Why you’re in a fake relationship with her?”

He let out a sigh and looked down at the ground.

 “It’s complicated. Cho-hee has, um, she’s not known for being the kindest person, er, idol in the industry. She doesn’t have the best um, I’m not sure of the word in English…” he paused to pull out his phone’s translator app, “…repu-reputation is the word in English,” he sighed again, “So obviously as BTS, we’ve been very successful recently, and our managers are great at making sure our reputation stays good. So, her company contacted mine, her company has a lot more media influence in Asia, and asked if one of our members pretends to date her and help boost her reputation, they will help get BTS more attention in the Asia countries,” he paused and hesitantly peered up at you, “so… yeah, that’s basically the small explanation.”

You stared at him in both shock and confusion, so many follow up questions flooding your brain.

 “BTS doesn’t have enough media coverage in Asia?” was the first one to come out of your mouth.

“Well, not necessarily,” Jungkook replied, “but the K-pop competition is a lot bigger in countries like China and Japan because it has been around for so long here and there, unlike in areas like North America and Europe. You know, people in America or the UK or other non-Asian countries might instantly think of BTS when you say ‘K-pop’ these days, right? But here it can be different. Any other act could appear at any moment and take that spotlight, and Cho-hee’s company has more ties and relationships in Asia, more than our company HYBE, because they’ve been around a lot longer.”

You thought for a second before responding.

“So, you’re telling me… her company helps keep BTS relevant throughout Asia, in exchange for you pretending to date her in order to convince the media she’s a good person and keep her out of trouble?”

Your head was absolutely spinning at all this new information.

Jungkook nodded.

Your eyes went wide as you stared off into space in disbelief.

“Wow… I-I don’t know what to say…”

Jungkook buried his face in his hands and then ran them through his hair.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do it. She has that reputation for a reason. We get along fine, but she’s just so… controlling? Controlling is the word, yes? Sometimes I think she forgets we aren’t actually together.”

You frowned at him sympathetically.

“And what if,” he continued, biting his lip nervously, “what if I meet someone I do want to be with. What then? I can’t be with them?”

Your eyes met at that moment and you felt yourself catch your breath in your throat, you heart feeling like it did a somersault.

You looked away quickly.

“Yeah I don’t know. That certainly does makes things… complicated…”

Jungkook hummed in agreement.

There was a pause as you sighed.

“God I’m… really sorry, Kook, that you have to be a part of all this.”

There was a silence between you two. He just fiddled with his fingers in his lap.

Finally he said softly,

“Me, too. I’m sorry you have to be a part of it, too.”

You cocked your head in confusion.

 “What? Me? Because I know your relationship isn’t legitimate? You don’t have to worry about me, you know I won’t tell anyone about the two of you or- “

He cut you off.

 “Not just that,” he paused and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

You allowed yourself to take in his handsome face from this up close: his smooth skin, the mole on the bridge of his nose, the deep scar on his left cheek. He was just so exquisite; and when he opened his big brown eyes to meet yours, he looked more nervous than ever.

And when he began to speak you suddenly understood why.

 “It’s also because I… I like you, (y/n). I’m really… starting to like you. As more than a friend or-or someone I just hang out with one day a week,” his face turning red as he went on, “And if you don’t feel the same way I under-”

But before he could finish you placed one hand on the side of his neck and the other on his cheek as you leaned into him and pressed your lips against his in a tender kiss. He relaxed into you and wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you close, practically sitting you on his lap. You finally let his comforting scent completely engulf you, running your hands through his soft hair and nibbling on his bottom lip.

 Oh, yes.

This certainly made things very complicated indeed.

*

next>>

Masterlist

[heybeybey]

No Regrets

Holy shit I finally wrote a full short fic!! I was inspired when @petra-realsnk posted this beautiful fic! I’m currently finishing up Chap 135 (so there’s spoilers for those who’ve only watched the anime!) in the manga and thought about a what if scenario where the Survey Corps didn’t try to stop Eren. 

Note: I highly doubt that there’s a universe where Levi and the remaining Survey Corps members, especially Petra, would be okay with genocide but it was fun to explore the thought. (Felt masochistic, won’t delete later ✌️😘)

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Genre: Angst. And it’s Rivetra but I don’t think this can be considered romance. 

Summary: [Mature] Canonverse AU. Petra survived the 57th expedition and Eren was successful in his Rumbling. Petra and Levi questions if they made the right choices. 

----

They never talked about it.

No regrets. That's what his whole being has been about since he joined the Survey Corps. Petra’s devotion to him pushed her to follow him to the end.

The end did come and try as they might to ignore it, they lived every single day questioning the actions they’ve taken.

Today's Liberation Day. The Eldians are celebrating the day the great Eren Yeager freed Paradis from the rest of the world three years ago. As with every year, the town square will have a play reenacting the Rumbling later this afternoon. They're also serving dishes from the now-extinct Marley. He can only think what Niccolo must be feeling right now.

It's their country’s way of showing that they've won. It's theirs. The world is theirs.

His comrades. Erwin. All of them died for this farce.

However, the biggest clowns were the Survey Corps. 

Him, Hange, Armin, Petra, Connie, Jean, Mikasa. “The Great Heroes of Paradis,” people would call them in adoration and admiration.

Hange was still alive. She's still the Commander of the Survey Corps and she's been leading Paradis’s expansion with Armin across the flattened grounds beyond their little island. He doubts the both of them sleep well at night though. Last time he and Petra visited, he learned that Hange took down Erwin's portrait in her office. Petra cries whenever she sees Armin, remembering the boy who’d always talk to her about the ocean. 

Connie went back to Ragako to build back his village. He never tried to make contact with them again after that.

Jean transferred to the Military Police shortly after. Commander Nile named him next in line. They needed to promote as many people as possible because there’s still a possibility that half of the military can turn into a titan anytime now, even with that fucking monkey dead.

However, a recent rumor reached his city that the Military Police’s next-in-line just shot himself in the mouth yesterday morning.

Mikasa, on the other hand, disappeared.

Levi tried to locate the Ackerman girl a few times. Mikasa can be downright disrespectful and insubordinate during his time as her captain but she's still family. They never treated each other as such but she still is.

His condition prevented him from pushing himself further the way he could before and he had no choice but to follow as Petra led him back.

With his injuries, he needed to retire from the Survey Corps. Petra, banged up with her own scars—physical, emotional, and even mental, also signed in her resignation the day he signed his.

They say it's because they are not in the shape to push through anymore. Besides, there's nothing else to fight except their conscience and inner demons.

The truth is that seeing the Wings of Freedom on their uniform made him want to retch his breakfast every fucking day. Levi once said that he'd kill Eren the moment he shows that he’s a threat to humanity. They all dedicated their life to humanity’s freedom.

You bore the wings of freedom but allowed a monster to clip away the wings of the rest of the world.

What a joke.

He’s snapped out of his usual episodes when Petra came in through the door.

“It’s true,” she says and he takes in the dead look in her eyes. He wished it wouldn’t look any deader as the day Paradis won but it does.

He remains silent, waiting for her to continue.

“Jean. It’s true. He’s dead. His fiance found him yesterday.”

Levi understands Kirstein. He really does. He used to be against suicide because so many people who want to live die everyday. Now though, if he had the will to point a bullet to his own head, he would.

But he can’t leave the baby in Petra’s womb fatherless.

“Do we deserve this, Levi?” At first, he thought she was referring to Jean’s death. All this sadness and self-loathing. “Do we deserve this? A home. A baby on the way.”

When so many beyond the island saw their own homes and children trampled on.

This is the first time she brought it up and he wasn’t surprised that she was the one who opened this conversation.

Petra is already a shell of her former self. He finds it hard to believe that this was the same woman who’d fight titans with fire in her eyes. Who managed to capture his attention since the day she graduated from the cadets. Who managed to survive when their whole squad and the fucking Scout commander couldn't. If they hadn’t fucked around one drunken night of loneliness and despair, he feels she’d lose all the will to push forward.

“How should I know? I told you before. The only thing we can do now-“

“-Is to live with the consequences of our actions.” A beat. She looks down and carefully places her hand on the bulge of her stomach. "Do you think he'll be proud of us?"

Another topic he tried to not approach is the baby. He knows that he'll never abandon her and the little boy or girl inside her but that doesn't mean he'd make a great father.

"Beats me."

She finally snaps. "Levi, just talk to me for once!"

When he imagined a future with Petra back when he was still her captain, he saw it happening with them winning against the titans. He'd kiss her on the battlefield in relief, not caring if fellow soldiers saw that he’s in love with his own subordinate all this time, as everyone cheers over the fact that everything's over and that they're now free to explore beyond the Walls. He'd awkwardly admit that her feelings have always been mutual and maybe he'd even propose years down the road. She'd laugh at him and tell him that age must be really catching up to him if he's actually considering marriage.

"Levi, please. You used to be so open with me. Please don't leave me alone."

She's downright begging now, her arms encircling around his waist as she starts sobbing in desperation. Petra clutches his hand, caressing the remaining two fingers on his one hand.

"Please talk to me. You don't have to carry this burden yourself. I was there until the end, remember?"

In a way, seeing her like this is a relief. Since they retired, he'd always see her walking around the house in a daze. The only time he hears emotion in her voice is when she screams out at night as she wakes up from a nightmare. She doesn’t talk to anyone else now besides him. Sometimes, he rarely even listens. When Hange and Armin visited, she'd make tea and serve them like a meek, little housewife and she'd force a smile on for their guests.

He hates it. This isn't Petra.

Her crying now and demanding him to open up. This is Petra. 

He misses her. 

And since he hasn't found his voice in the past three years, he answers her by abruptly spinning around, grabbing her ginger strands and roughly kissing her to shut her up.

His hand grabs the spot where her chin meets her neck and he clenches. He manhandles her to their room and he fucks her while also making sure he doesn't harm the baby. This is the only way they can communicate their sadness and understanding right now.

She accepts it all without question, her teary eyes staring at the ceiling above him. The only indication that she's okay with all of this are her quiet moans and whimpers for him to go harder and her arms clinging around him in desperation. 

This isn't Petra.

He isn't Levi anymore either.

[demigodreading]

Forgiving Rollins

Characters: Amanda Rollins, Ella Alina Benson, Noah Benson, Olivia Benson

Relationships Olivia Benson x Amanda Rollins, Olivia Benson x Original Character

Summary:  This is based off of Season 16 Episode 10: Forgiving Rollins. But with a twist! Of course. There is some minor mention of stuff that is in the episode but I tried to keep most of the serious stuff out of it. This was actually a request. @svufan9812 I didn't write this while tipsy but I am posting it while tipsy.. so enjoy!

Warnings: Episode Spoilers. Some mentions of sexual assault. Alcohol. 

----------------------------------------------

Olivia could tell something had been wrong with Amanda all night but was unable to pull any coherent answer out of her. Anytime she tried Amanda merely shrugged and moved to a different topic. In all reality, all Amanda wanted to do was wrap her hand tightly in the burnette’s and try to disappear from this place and all the memories that were beginning to surface. However, their relationship was just recently public to everyone outside the precinct and they both agreed that PDA was not something that wanted to shove in everyone’s face immediately. Instead, Amanda did her best to keep her mind focused on the one thing that could take away all of her problems. Alcohol.

“I’m out of here,” Fin said, immediately heading for the door after Amaro’s offer.

“I have got to get home to Ella and Noah guys,” Olivia said, placing a gentle hand on Amanda’s arm. When Amanda made no move to follow she pulled her hand away doing her best not to sigh, “Goodnight.”

Amanda watched as her girlfriend walked away from her. She so badly wanted to follow and head back with Olivia to their shared apartment. She knew that Ella would rush to her, taking her in a long hug. Noah would be sleeping but Olivia would pull her in his room so they both could say goodnight to him. Ella would want to hear all about the party but Olivia would insist that she was already up too late and they would talk in the morning. Then she and Olivia would change into pajamas Amanda borrowing a pair of Olivia’s just so she could be further wrapped in the smell she loved so much. Olivia would open her arms beckoning Amanda into them and holding her close. She would press a kiss into Amanda’s forehead and that is when Amanda’s facade would crumble. She would cry into Olivia’s arms telling her all of the horrible things that had happened to her. She couldn’t do that. Not yet. So instead she sat down at the bar downing shot after shot till the memories became blurred.

When Amanda awoke the next morning in the crib she immediately regretted her decision looking at her watch and knowing she was already an hour late walking downstairs. Her plan to sleep here and be on time had been an epic fail. Not to mention, she had missed five text messages from Olivia and Ella checking on her. She ignored all of them which she believed would be a good plan until she ended up heading to the hospital to get the victim statement with Olivia by her side.

“Amanda, is everything okay?” Olivia asked shyly, afraid of the answer.

“Yeah, Liv. I’m fine,” Amanda shrugged, “Just a long night.”

“Okay,” Olivia said, reaching her hand out taking Amanda’s, “I missed you last night.”

Amanda smiled for a second running her finger gently over Olivia’s palm, “I missed you too Liv.”

“And when you are ready to actually talk about what is wrong. I’ll be here,” Olivia said, taking Amanda’s hand pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Thank you.”

Amanda clung to the feeling of Olivia’s kiss on her hand as she tried to settle her panic attack in the hall of the hospital. She never imagined that her secret would unravel so quickly.

------------

Olivia looked at Amanda’s terrified face as she answered all of the questions that Dodds asked her. She knew one thing for sure… she was looking at the face of a victim. She had seen hundreds of them pass through the doors of the precinct. She just never imagined that one of those faces would be her girlfriend. A woman she was beginning to love more and more every day. A woman she imagined spending the rest of her life with. It was even harder to watch as Amanda’s attacker sat in the interrogation room across from Dodds acting as if Amanda had been the one to blame. She wanted to burst through that door pushing that man onto the floor and tell him all the awful things she wanted to call him but instead, she was distracted by Amanda rushing out the door. She looked at Fin and he merely nodded, following Amanda to wherever she planned on running to.

Fin followed Amanda all the way to the bar she sat at, swirling her drink gently in her hand, “I had to check half the bars in Long Island City.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I’m not leaving.” Amanda sighed at her partner half thankful and half angry that he had followed her. As she disclosed the story of what had transpired between her and Patton she could feel a small weight lifting off of her chest. However, when Fin pushed her to share her story all of her walls went back up.

“What about this girl?” Fin asked, leaning forward.

“Well, she’ll get over it. I mean she might have been sleeping with him anyway. You know? She will go back to Atlanta and she’ll pretend like it never happened.”

“Just like you did.”

“Well, pretend long enough and after a while, it’s like nothing did happen.”

“Is that an example that you want to set for Ella? That if she were to get assaulted that she should just suppress her feelings down until there is nothing left?” Fin asked her.

Amanda slammed down her drink, “Leave Ella out of this. This has nothing to do with her.”

“It has everything to do with her, Rollins! Ella is like a daughter to you and if this happened to her, you would tell her to shout her story from the rooftops to get justice. If you want this thing between you and Olivia to work… you need to set a good example for her child.”

Amanda placed her head in her hands thinking about what Fin had said. She needed to tell her story. At least to Olivia.

----------------

Olivia and Amanda stood outside Barba’s office building soaking in the sun that had finally peaked through in the cold morning. Olivia reached out for Amanda’s hand, taking it in hers. She pulled her close wrapping Amanda in a large hug. Amanda wrapped her arms around Olivia burying her head into Olivia’s chest.

A large silence hung in the air until Olivia finally spoke, “I’m so proud of you Amanda. That was not an easy thing to hold onto for this long.”

“I’m so sorry Olivia. I should have told you,” Amanda cried, “I thought that you would think I was damaged goods. That I was no good for you. That I was a liar. That I.. That I..” Olivia stepped back placing her hands on either side of Amanda’s face. She used her fingers to gently wipe away the tears that rolled down her cheeks, “Amanda, I do not think any less of you. You are not broken. You are a survivor. You are an amazing, beautiful human. And I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

Olivia couldn’t stop the words rushing from her mouth as she looked at the blonde woman. The “I love yous” had always been standard in their relationship but Olivia had never once hinted at the fact that she wanted to be with Amanda for the rest of her life. Future was something that Olivia never planned but she was willing to risk it all for the blonde that stood in front of her.

For a moment she was terrified she had made a mistake until Amanda smiled back at her, “I love you, too, Olivia. Forever sounds like a perfect place as long as it is with you.” Olivia smiled at this as Rollins leaned in and gave her a kiss. Olivia gave Amanda a quick kiss on her forehead before they began their walk home. They walked the entire way holding hands.

When they got back to Olivia’s apartment, Lucy and Ella were on the couch playing video games. Noah was in his swing napping with Frannie wrapped around the bottom legs. She had taken a liking to Noah but only when he was sleeping. That is when Frannie would protectively lay down and watch over him. Ella jumped from her spot on the couch immediately rushing over to Olivia and Amanda. She grabbed both of them in a large hug, noticing the tears that Amanda was still trying to keep at bay.

“You and Noah both behave for Lucy while we were gone?” Olivia asked then looked at Frannie, “And you too Miss. Frannie.”

“They were all great,” Lucy smiled, “Your meeting go well?”

Olivia nodded, not wanting to share too many details. Lucy promised Ella they would finish their game the next time she was over. Ella gave her one final hug before Lucy left for the evening. When she was out the door Ella was tasked with letting Frannie out and then getting Noah ready for dinner. Ella clipped on Frannie’s leash before rushing out the door. Olivia quickly checked that Noah was still sleeping before starting dinner.

Amanda watched Olivia rush around the kitchen silently getting all the supplies they needed for dinner, “You look beautiful Liv.”

Olivia paused for a moment and laughed, “I highly doubt that.”

Olivia’s hair was done up in a messy bun pulled back with a clip. She had a wooden spoon in her hand gently mixing the sauce in the pot. Amanda couldn’t think of a more beautiful woman in the whole world.

“How did I get so lucky to be in love with the most beautiful woman in all of New York?” Amanda asked, causing Olivia to blush.

“Rollins,” Olivia paused, “Get over here and kiss me.”

Amanda grinned, taking Olivia in her arms giving her a hard kiss. Amanda never once dreamed that after all that had happened to her she would end up here. In the arms of the woman she loved and who most importantly loved her back.

There was a sudden crash at the door as Ella rushed back in with Frannie. She was out of breath and tears were running down her face. All of the hair on Frannie’s back was standing up as she plastered herself against Ella’s legs. The commotion caused Noah to jolt awake and begin to cry. Olivia frantically turned off the stove unsure of what child to rush to first. She settled for Noah as Amanda wrapped Ella into her arms.

“Ella what is going on?” Amanda asked as Ella tried to catch her breath.

Ella calmed her breath just enough to tell her story, “A man drove onto the sidewalk behind Frannie and I. He jumped out of the car and threatened us.” Olivia held Noah in her arms trying to calm him down as she began to feel her blood boil. Fear rose in Amanda’s heart as she realized what was about to unfold.

Ella looked up at Amanda, her eyes bloodshot, “He said that if you testify against Patton he will do exactly what happened to you to me. What is he talking about ‘Manda?”

With this question, Amanda looked over at Olivia. Olivia ran her hand through her hair reaching for her phone, “I’ll call Barba.” “What is going on?”

“Ella, you should take a seat,” Amanda said, pulling Ella over to the couch, “I’ll explain it to you.” Amanda explained the whole story to Ella not sparing any detail. Frannie sat between the two women, Ella gently petting her any time she got nervous. As Amanda began to cry again, Ella reached out her hand and Amanda took it gratefully. Her touch was almost as calming as Olivia’s. Something about the Benson girls just made her feel at home.

When she finished up her story Ella began to ask questions, “Is that why you moved from Georgia to here?”

“Yes, I thought it would be a nice place to restart.”

Ella pondered asking the questions she really wanted to know: Does this mean you are going to be leaving again? However, she dreaded the answer so instead, she took Amanda in her arms hugging her close.

-----------------------------

Amanda turned her key in Olivia’s lock, Frannie immediately getting loose from her hand and running towards Olivia. Olivia giggled as Frannie jumped on the couch curling up in her lap immediately exposing her belly to be pet. Amanda swore that Frannie loved Olivia more than her most days. After hanging up Frannie’s leash and taking over her shoes Amanda walked over to Olivia. Olivia looked up allowing Amanda to place a quick kiss on her lips.

“Where is my Ella Bella?” Amanda asked, glancing around the apartment.

Olivia nodded towards Ella’s door, “Been cooped up in there since I told her that you were going to take some time off and go on vacation. I think you should talk to her.”

Amanda placed another kiss on Olivia’s head before heading towards Ella’s door. In accordance with the three-year-old rule, Ella’s door was opened enough that Amanda’s arm could reach through the opening. Ella was laying on her bed with headphones in her ears throwing a ball at the ceiling. Amanda opened the door gently and walked over to Ella’s bed. She reached out grabbing the ball from thin air causing Ella to jump.

When Ella noticed Amanda standing there she quickly tried to wipe away the tears from her face. She took off her headphones sitting up in bed pressing herself into the corner of her bed as far from Amanda as she could.

“What’s going on buttercup?” Amanda asked, rolling the ball in her hand, “You only really bring this out when things are getting worse.” Ella reached for the ball but Amanda closed her fingers around it, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine but you aren’t getting your ball back,” Amanda shrugged getting up from the bed.

“Wait Amanda,” Amanda turned back around and looked as Ella hugged a pillow close to her chest, “Please don’t go.” Amanda sat back down on the edge of the bed. She pulled her legs up on the bed but kept her distance from Ella knowing that when Ella was ready, she would come to her. The silence between the two of them dragged on for a couple of moments while Amanda waited for Ella to speak.

“Mom told me that you were leaving for a while,” Ella said, twirling her fingers together.

“Yes, the trial… everything...it was just a lot. I think that it would be good for me to get away for a little bit.”

Ella nodded, tears starting to fall down her face again, “Are you going to do what you did last time? Find someplace better and never come back?”

“Oh, Ella. Honey. I’m only going to be gone a couple of days. I will be back.”

“Promise?” Ella asked, looking up from her pillow.

“I promise Ella. I am not going anywhere. I wouldn’t imagine ever leaving you, Noah, and your mom,” Amanda told her, “You think you can keep a secret?”

Ella nodded and then Amanda beckoned her closer. Rollins pulled out a tiny black box from her pocket. She opened the top showing Ella the engagement ring that she had bought for Olivia. Ella let out a squeal of excitement grabbing Amanda into a hug.

“Think it is too soon?” Amanda asked nervously.

“Not at all,” Olivia said from the doorway causing both of the girls on the bed to jump.

Ella looked anxiously between Olivia and Amanda to see what would happen next. Amanda didn’t even attempt to hide the ring from her. This was not the way that she had ever imagined to propose to Olivia but she had learned quickly that things in her life never seemed to go the way she had planned.

“I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise. I wanted to see what you guys wanted for dinner,” Olivia said, running her fingers through her hair nervously.

Amanda merely smiled at Olivia and got down on one knee right in the middle of Ella’s room, “Olivia Benson, will you do me the honor of calling you, my wife?”

“Ooo,” Ella gasped, “That is way better than the traditional way to ask!”

Olivia looked at Ella rolling her eyes, “You two are going to kill me one day. I can’t believe I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you goons.”

“Is that a yes?” Ella asked.

Olivia giggled, pulling Amanda up to give her a kiss, “Always a yes. Always.”