#this episode had me on the floor by gunpoint

[whumplist]

BLACK OUT (2024) Whump List

Synopsis:

Two 19-year-old girls were brutally murdered. The bodies were abandoned and could not be found anywhere inside the warehouse, scattered with blood. The only suspect was their friend. He was drunk on the night of the incident. He doesn’t recall a single memory. No memories of committing a murder. No memories of not committing a murder either. The boy had become a young adult by the time he was released from prison in 11 years. He wished to pursue a quiet life… But another murder flips the village. A white bone carcass has been discovered. The real devil is hiding somewhere within the seemingly peaceful village. Who’s the real devil? (Source: Hulu)

⚠️ MAJOR CONTENT WARNING FOR SUICIDE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT — Context for CW at bottom of list in red text. ⬇️

Whumpee: Goh Jeong-woo (played by Byun Yohan)

➤ BONUS: Hyeon Geon-oh

Have mercy, this is only my second attempt at a whumplist. Let me know if I missed anything important!

[SPOILER WARNING] ⚠️

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Some notes:

※ The elipses (…) represent a scene change.

※ The way this drama is formatted, sometimes scenes at the end of an episode will not only be continued in the next episode or recapped, but the entire scene will be shown again in its entirety; in this case, it will be represented in this list as [scene continued: x, y, z] with x, y, and z being things that occurred both in the previous episode and the current one.

※ And finally, the links are to gifsets on Tumblr!

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➤ Goh Jeong-woo

01: grabbed, violently woken up, restrained, crying … crying, hit in head … handcuffed, interrogated, sleep deprivation … sleep deprivation … crying, amnesia, restrained … crying, restrained, held against ground … injured … imprisoned … crying … harassed (food tray kicked over on him), lightly slapped, bullied (made to eat food off floor) … crying … injured, bullying (food tray knocked over), attacked (blanket thrown over head and knocked to the ground), ganged up on, kicked repeatedly, punched, stepped on … injured ("Did they beat you?") … crying, grasping at chest, ("Please don't kill me.") thrown to ground, kicked … crying … attacked, ganged up on, punched … ganged up on, collapsed, in pain … injured (face covered in cuts and bruises), suicide attempt (slit wrist) … harassed, kicked repeatedly, ganged up on, dragged up, punched repeatedly, bleeding from mouth, grabbed at … fighting … scarred back shown … crying, grieving … grabbed, shook, pushed … shoulder-checked, fighting … [flashback: hit in head] … crying

02: tantrum, crying … slapped, crying, bottle smashed on his head, bleeding, startled, flinches, watery eyes ("Are you alright?" "No.") … grabbed, shook … grabbed … shoved

03: shoved … grabbed, slapped … crying … crying, screaming/wailing … crying, grabbed, manhandled, out of it, slapped, punched repeatedly, bleeding from mouth, gun pulled on him

04: [dream: crying] [scene continued: crying, grabbed, manhandled, out of it, slapped, punched repeatedly, bleeding from mouth, gun pulled on him] manhandled, helped up, helped to walk, bleeding from mouth ("Are you all right?") … manhandled, shoved, grabbed, punched, knocked into table, begging, crying, grabbed … chair kicked … pushed

05: grabbed … crying … flinches … grabbed … watery eyes … held at gunpoint

06: [scene continued: held at gunpoint] shot at, pistol-whipped … cared for (bandaged + sleepover) … slapped … concern for him, treated at hospital … grabbed, manhandled

07: [flashback: pushed, grabbed, punched, kicked, shoved down] attacked from behind, pot smashed on his head, knocked out, bleeding from head, worry for him (phone call) … loaded into ambulance, unconscious, bleeding from forehead, taken to hospital … treated, diagnosed with malnutrition … grabbed, shoved down … crying

08: crying, grabbed, restrained, shook, crying, punches wall, lightly punched in chest … shoved, hit by a car

09: unconscious in hospital … wakes up in hospital, tries to stand, legs give out, pulls out iv, runs outside barefoot while injured and dressed as a hospital patient … crying, manhandled, held against wall … hit in chest ("Are you alright?")

10: worry for him ("Eat up … This is his first meal today, right?")

11: shoved … crying, pushed

12: [scene continued: crying, pushed] crying … despondent … worry for him (downloads phone tracking app)

13: [flashback: crying] flinches back, hugged without consent, crying, pressured into drinking alcohol … drugged, dizzy, falls over, unconscious … unconscious, carried (piggyback) … unconscious, manhandled … kissed on mouth without consent while unconscious … unconscious, worry for him, checking his pulse ("Is Jeong-woo okay?") … wakes up, flinches ("You're safe now."), worry for him ("How is he? Is he okay?"), needs help sitting up … crying

14: worry for him, brought to hospital, lightly manhandled (led by hand around wrist), hand injury … crying … betrayal, watery eyes … crying, hit in head and on back with an easel, struggling to get up … breaks into a burning room, coughing … [flashback montage: restrained (handcuffed), manhandled, crying, interrogated, sleep deprivation, held against ground, harassed, beaten, fighting, injured, crying, distressed, begging, held at gunpoint, bleeding from mouth, hit over head with pot, collapsed, bleeding from forehead, crying, punching wall, kissed without consent while unconscious, etc] … crying … hug :) … object bounced off head (comedic)

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➤ Hyeon Geon-oh

01–05: nothing

06: drink slapped out of hand, shook … passed out drunk … drunk, crying, stumbling … drunk, stumbling, hysterical laughter … stumbling, drunk, hysterical laughter, legs give out, grabbed, almost falls over, is caught, helped to walk, manhandled, grabbed at ("Don't touch me.") … crying, almost falls over, is caught … crying … crying

07: [flashback: fighting] drunk, almost falls over, is caught, helped to walk, vomiting … [scene continued: crying] … manhandled, knocked to ground, knocked into table, hits his head, knocked out, carried while unconscious (piggyback) … crying, grabbed, dragged, locked in attic, claustrophobia, crying

08: nightmare, minor hallucination, withdrawal (alcoholism) … drunk, slaps himself, crying … hallucinating … slaps himself, crying … scratching arm, crying … crying … grabbed … suicide (hanging)

09: suicide (hanging) [flashback: crying, grabbed, shoved against wall, restrained] funeral [flashback: held against wall]

10: [flashback: held against wall, grabbed, crying]

11–14: nothing

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※ CONTEXT FOR CONTENT WARNINGS:

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⚠️ [WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS] ⚠️

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Suicide CW:

The protagonist repeatedly tells people to kill him, has little self-preservation, and slits his wrist at one point in the first episode; it is later self-described as a suicide attempt. Another character, not the protagonist, commits suicide; it is shown in episodes 8 and 9. Episode 13 also contains a staged suicide, and in episode 14 a character attempts suicide but is rescued.

Sexual Assault CW:

One of the murder victims is raped and while we see the lead-up and the aftermath, the actual act is not shown. The sexual assault is, however, discussed repeatedly throughout the drama, particularly after the body is found and autopsy performed in episode 6. The actual scene isn't shown until episode 8, after which it is shown multiple more times in flashbacks.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s3

mulder bursting into his apartment in episode 2 after actually returning from the dead, only to find scully and skinner holding each other at gunpoint. he immediately asks if she is okay and pulls HIS gun on skinner, too (yes, he WILL threaten to kill their boss for her, thank you very much)

(and then they have this moment where they reunite for real and she smiles at him- i thought they were going to kiss but they didn’t, but either way it was so precious and genuine it made me lose my mind)

this exchange in the disease center archives: “lots of files” “lots and lots of files” yeah <3

after they flee through the back exit of the archives escaping what seemed like the entire US military, they meet skinner at a little diner in maryland, with all things seemingly forgiven between them

how he holds her after she learns melissa passed away, and how they both agree that they need to get back to work in order to keep them from going mad with grief (they were both in mourning at the same time- his dad's death was still very recent- and it is so touching to me how they were there for each other at every step)

they way they glance at each other while the “psychic” stupendous yappi is making incredibly vague claims about the killer at the crime scene in episode 4 (omg... does anyone have this gif?)

(and when the psychic claims that mulder has “negative energy” and needs to leave the room, she leans in and says “i can’t take you anywhere)

later in the episode, he comes in with the news that the item at the crime scene was made of chantilly lace, and he says “you know how i like it” in reference to the song by the big bopper. she makes the FUNNIEST face!!! it's a momentary mixture of horror and disgust before she composes herself. it is hilarious, i’ll see if i can find it. then she slaps a file on his chest and wishes him good luck in observing bruckman.

also, he is nearly killed in that episode, and scully shoots his would-be murderer- then they have one of those “comforting each other on the floor after nearly dying moments” that are like catnip to me

“imagine if it were true, scully. imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. who would they be?” “i only get five?” “i remembered your birthday this year, didn’t i?” <3 (from episode 5)

in episode 7, scully noticed that mulder had been carrying dental x-ray plates throughout their whole investigation, but never bothered to ask why because they were at the point in their relationship where such things do not need to be discussed

scully learning in episode 9 that she is slowly dying from the tests they performed on her while she was taken, and breaking the news to mulder- how he softly says “but you’re fine, aren’t you scully?” because he cannot bear to lose her (AUGHHHHHHHH) (and she confesses that she doesn’t know if she really IS okay… why do they place so much sorrow on her shoulders?)

mulder trapped on a ticking time bomb of a train in episode 10, calling her to say “scully, let me tell you, you haven’t seen america til you’ve seen it from a train” “DAMN IT MULDER, WHAT HAPPENED?!” <- lmaooo he has this constant Need to diffuse tension with a quip

scully is going through A Lot of Emotions in episode 11, and when it is time for them to go, mulder holds out her jacket for her to put on <3 and then goes and does the statement by himself as per her request so she can go “run an errand” (confession for the first time in 6 years), which he obliges without question

so much of the episode 12 dialogue: “mulder, you’re not thinking about trespassing onto government property again, are you?” “it’s too late, i’m already inside” (incredibly deep scully sigh) “well, what’s going on? what do you see?” <- yeah that’s them. if you’re gonna break federal law, at least tell her about it in depth.

scully sleeping with her phone on her pillow, waiting for another of mulder’s calls. when it finally comes, he’s going on and on about bambi and she is clearly displeased. finally, he asks “scully, can i confess something to you?” and she VISIBLY winces, with pain in her voice, but pushes through and says “yeah sure, okay” (this one KILLED me because she did NOT want to hear about his love life but she wanted to be a good friend... scully is so kind)

(and all he had to say was that he hates insects lmao)

((and how the episode starts with the two of them making a planet of the apes reference, then ends with bambi and dr. ivanov flirting by making a different planet of the apes reference))

mulder is losing his damn mind in episode 14, hadn’t slept for days, and was sneaking out to a crime scene. scully is so worried she tells him to stay exactly where he is and that she will be there soon so they can “work this thing out together, okay?” trying to talk him back into being himself, making sure he is safe... that's partnership <3

in episode 16, mulder gets in a car crash, but wakes up to find scully next to him in the hospital. he has a bandage on his head looking all pathetic, and she greets him with a smile. i wanted to bottle this moment and drink it like fine champagne.

their drive to north dakota after scully confronted the man who shot skinner and her sister- how tense that ride had to have been. what did they say? anything at all? i need to know, i need 10 fics NOW

and their conversation at melissa’s grave- how they both bring flowers, how he touches her shoulder, the way she shares her father’s friend’s theory that the dead speak to you from beyond the grave, which is a conscious. and how he, the man who is always pondering the meanings of life and death and what comes between, says honestly “that’s interesting. i’ve never thought of it that way” 

her falling asleep on his shoulder during the stakeout in episode 17; how he lightly taps her face to wake her up and says “i think you drooled on me”, which prompts a very fast and very embarrassed apology (!!!!!!!!!)

(also, pusher kept calling mulder "g-man" over the phone, so when they hang up he turns to her and calls her "g-woman" <3)

their very excellent coordination between scully grabbing the fire extinguisher and mulder using his jacket to douse the flames that episode

(and all the times in pusher they lean their heads together to share a phone <3)

when mulder has to go into the hospital to catch the pusher, he leaves his gun behind so he won’t hurt anybody- and he’s terrified and so is scully, so they look into each other’s eyes while holding hands before he departs

how she runs into action when he is in danger in the hospital; how she interrupts his game of russian roulette with pusher, and how she SCREAMS when he puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger; that visceral "damn it, mulder!" filled with so much emotion in just a few words

how he fights the pusher’s mind control to prevent shooting her harder than he fought the mind control that made him fire at himself (!!!)

and after mulder escaped, having fired every round into pusher so he knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone else ever again, he watches as he is on life support. scully grabs his hand, having seen how terrified he had become, and tells him not to let this man take up any more of his time.

in episode 20, they receive roky’s fantastical report on his men in black encounter, which mulder reads aloud while scully lies on the bed of their hotel room, looking baffled (it is so CUTE!!!)

waking up to mulder in her room soon after that, having been under some mind control influence the night before, wondering why he was in there, and mulder trying to explain no, she actually invited him in!!

walking into the bait shop together in episode 22, sharing an umbrella while she holds the dog's leash <3

mulder offering to join her walking her dog, but she smiles and lifts up her jacket to show her gun and says she’ll be fine 

the whole conversation on the rock, but some highlights include “hey scully, do you think you could ever cannibalize someone?” and how she compares him to ahab (they’re both “so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology”, which he responds to with “scully, are you coming onto me?”)

but then he gets very serious, talking about how he wishes it were enough to just Persist Despite It All and be free of expectations, how he loathes that “you’re actually expected to make something of your life- achieve something, earn a raise, wear a necktie”, and he is the antithesis of ahab because he might be happier with a pegleg. and god, that one makes me emotional.

(and then they both quote a line from the book <3)

oh, and i could not finish this list without this banger from episode 23: “he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the ONLY one i trust”

(cue tears as scully collapses into her mother's arms) (cue tears at mulder's dogged persistence he could bring her back, but it took a mother's love instead) (and cue tears that such love had been extended to him by mrs. scully, so much so that she knew he would never, ever threaten her baby)

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 17, New Year, New Murder!

2:17, 17, 177777777

It took me like 20 minutes to solve yesterday's murdle for absolutely no reason (or! it was 1 am and i was dumb)

Omg is that poptropica dr crimson???? (warning, if you bring up poptropica to me i will rant for hours and hours)

ANYWYA

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

VIOLET: It’s the new year!  LOGICO: It’s the first of June. Not the NEW YEAR-

It’s too late! He is dragged to the library, where a rave has been set up (hope you weren’t planning on reading)! A seizure warning shows up onscreen before transitioning to the next shot. And an earrape warning!! Logico’s senses are blinded.

VIOLET: I tried to make it, you know, fun!

Logico can’t see anything, but he can weakly make out some voices singing along.

ABALONE: 🎶A-LIST ABALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY! PINE: GIRL, STOP SCREAMING FOR THE LOVE OF- Hold up! Did you invite Logico to girls’ night?? VIOLET: YEAH!  PINE: UGHHH VIOLET: You listen to me! I’ve stayed up 729 nights straight to plan these parties, and they are gonna go how I WANT THEM TO! ABALONE: Gurl, you’re my IDOL!!!

They dance more. Not Logico though! Logico doesn’t dance. Instead, he’s skimming the books on the wall like a loser. He finds one with a super dumb title. “The Accountant’s Guide to Having Fun”? Sounds like something Blackstone wrote at gunpoint. Logico HAS to see what this is about, but when he tries to take out the book, naturally, a secret passage emerges! And the lights go out with a cartoony record scratch.

ABALONE: OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE FUCK I CAN’T SEE!! VIOLET: LOGICO!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?! PINE: I TOLD YOU HE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN INVITED!

There’s a lot of struggling in the darkness until Violet manages to turn the regular light on. The DJ is dead!! (Was the record scratch their heart stopping?)

Logico immediately suspects Violet. Did she murder the DJ to prove that he needed to be invited? 

PINE: Well, what are we supposed to do now?? LOGICO: It’s a library. You could read a book. ANY book. PINE: You serious? Y’all need to get your brains checked.

Logico approaches Violet, who seems very distressed - is that good or bad? She is drowning her sorrows in champagne.

VIOLET: I can’t believe… I can’t believe I didn’t get to have a single good party! [sobs]

Logico, questioning his decisions, sits down next to her.

VIOLET: I just… wanted to impress you. LOGICO: Me? Why? VIOLET: Well… you’re- you’re THE Deductive Logico! And I know our first meeting went really bad, but I- I admire you so much, and…

Logico lays his hand on her shoulder. Violet smiles weakly.

ABALONE: HEY GUYS! LOOK AT HOW TALL MY SHOES ARE WHOOOOAAAAA!!!

She faceplants so hard, her head goes through the floor! Violet rushes over to help.

Logico finally gets a text from Irratino!

“Hi Logico, I wish I was there for New Year’s too. Even if it’s not really New Year’s I just really wanted to”

That’s the whole message. Logico texts back “???” and the goat responds.

“Never mind. Just remember: champagne and maps always go together.”

Logico quivers, then makes his decision. Judge Pine, who was bitter that Logico was invited!

PINE: This is not justice! Only I decide what is justice! LOGICO: You use that same protest every time! Give me a break! ABALONE: [bawling] WHAT THE HELL?? I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON THAT DJ!!  VIOLET: UGH, JUST GO!!

She literally shoves her out of there. Logico wonders why she didn’t do that to all the murder guests.

The end! 

why am i so freakin tired?? is it a seasonal thing?

Ah well

Look it's poopgico! (so many off-topic comments in this episode!)

[remuslupinsdaughter]

Molly Shelby

Part six

Ok so this is a fic from years ago that I’ve decided to sort of change up and develop, imagine Tommy Shelby had a daughter before he went to war, she’s around 12 now.

I have no idea where this is going but let’s find out where my silly little mind goes with it.

Molly woke up to a dark room, she sat up on the sofa and rubbed her eyes, the room was hazy, she heard whispering and whimpering, she walked to the door a peered through the crack, two men both in balaclavas, holding Polly and her father at gunpoint, she gasped and stumbled backwards, suddenly someone grabbed her, covering her mouth to muffle her screaming, they dragged her out into the room where Polly and her father were, the figure dragged her out the door as she clawed and screamed, one of the masked men held a gun to Tommys head, Molly was dragged out of sight as a gunshot was heard, she screamed and cried out

“Molly, Molly!” She woke up gasping for breath, her eyes wild and terrified, Polly was crouched in front of her holding her face, “it was a dream love it’s not real” she said, Molly looked around, “the….they…they shot him, he’s dead I need to find-“ she said trying to stand up, Polly stopped her, “look at me Molly” she said, Molly looked at her, her eyes filling with tears, “you were dreaming, your fathers in his office, your uncles are down in the shop and I’m right in front of you” she said calmly, Molly got up and moved past Polly, she pushed the door to the shop open and searched the room, she saw her dad talking to Alfie, she went to go to him but Polly stopped her, “not when he’s discussing business” she said, Molly nodded and waited back, watching like a hawk, John noticed first and walked straight over, taking in Mollys pale and tear stained face, he leaned down to look at her, “you alright?” He asked looking between her and Polly, “nightmares” Polly said, Molly looked at the floor, John ruffled her hair gently, “you want me to go and get Tom?” He asked, Molly nodded.

John approached Tommy and Alfie, “Tom” he put his hand on his older brothers shoulder, “Molly needs you, she’s not right Tom, her eyes, they’re like Danny’s after an episode” Tommy looked towards Molly and nodded her over, she quickly pushed through the shop and to his office, Tommy guided her into the office followed by John and Alfie. “Molly, this is my business associate Alfie Solomon’s, Alfie this my daughter Molly” Tommy said, Molly nervously glanced between her dad and Alfie, she looked to John who just nodded. Alfie sat down in a chair, his gaze never leaving Molly, “anyone ever told you that you look very much like your dear old dad” Alfie said, Molly nodded, “I’ve heard it before” she replied, “now your old man tells me you’ve had a troubling couple of days” Alfie continued, Molly nodded again. “Nasty business” he said, Molly looked at him, “why are you here? What do you want?” Molly asked, her voice laced with anger, “Molly” Tommy said in a warning tone but Alfie held didn’t look phased, “you know I’ve seen that look before, yeah many times, you see when the soldiers came back from war some of them yeah? Their bodies were back in Camden but their minds, their minds were still in the trenches, now you, your body is stood in this very room with us but your mind is still in that house” Alfie said, Molly clenched her jaw, swallowing the lump in her throat and the burning in her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling to stop tears from falling, she looked to her dad “can I go back in the house?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper, Tommy looked disappointed but nodded, Molly left the office quickly and over to Polly.

“She’s definitely a Shelby” Alfie said standing up, Tommy shook his hand and saw him out, the second he was out of sight Tommy went to find Molly, he walked into the kitchen and saw Polly and Ada, Polly nodded her head towards the bedroom, Tommy pushed the door open and saw Molly sat on the bed with her legs crossed, he approached and sat down next to her.

“You’ve never let me meet your business associates before” Molly said picking at her nails, Tommy pulled out a cigarette and lit it, “Alfie is one of my most trusted associates, I thought it might help to introduce the two of you, so if myself or your uncles aren’t around that you know someone, if something happens there’s someone you know” Tommy said, Molly nodded, “he seems nice, don’t love the mind reading stuff though” Molly said, giving a small laugh and wiping her tears away, Tommy chuckled, “he’s a very smart man” Tommy said, they both sat in a comfortable silence for a while.

“The house is ready for us to go back” Tommy said, putting out his cigarette. Molly looked at him, “I’ve missed the bookcase in your office” she said, Tommy laughed, “we’ll leave after dinner” he said and kissed the top of her head.

[sethshead]

"When DEEP PURPLE Mk IV landed in Jakarta for a hastily scheduled concert, there was no way they could’ve ever imagined what was awaiting them. Supposed 'fans' who are actually agents of the Indonesian spy agency infiltrated the band’s Inner circle at the hotel. They were there to help set up was what was going to be one of the most outrageous events in rock history. This likely is a photo (restored) of Tommy Bolin with those agents. Why no girls?

"From the Deep Purple 1983 authorized biography. 'From Australia, Purple were scheduled to fly north to Japan but on the way a concert had been arranged at the Indonesian capital of Jakarta. Their brief visit to this undemocratic island nation was shattered by the most distressing event in the entire history of the group: a week later reports reached the English press that a member of their security staff had been killed ‘after falling down a lift shaft’. What is certain is that Patsy Collins, their affable Cockney bodyguard, was never seen again and that tour manager Rob Cooksey was ripped off to the tune of $750,000. The episode has never been fully explained.

“'It was a set-up,' says Cooksey who even now is reluctant to talk about the matter. 'The story from the word go was that we were due to play a theatre in Jakarta that held 7,000 people and, as we were on our way from Australia to Japan and had our own plane, it seemed like a good way to pick up some extra money. I’d been approached by an Indonesian guy called Danny Sabri and he sent us a deposit of $11,000. That’s all we ever got.'

"When Cooksey arrived and went to inspect the venue he received his first shock. It was an enormous outdoor stadium that held 125,000 people and they had never promoted a concert like this before. The stage was made from orange boxes and the security was the Army who were in total control and in league with the promoters.

“'Initially I told Sabri that we weren’t gong to play for the price agreed and I wanted to call the whole thing off but he insisted we could re-negotiate. They’d also planned a second show the folowing night which we knew nothing about until we got there.'

"The first concert was performed before over 100,000 people in a state of some apprehension and Cooksey realised that, taking into account the ticket price and calculating Deep Purple’s concert fee on the same basis as their American concerts, the group’s gross for the two shows ought to have been in the region of $750,000. He demanded a meeting with the promoters at Purple’s hotel after the show.

“'It started off quite pleasantly and then developed into an argument. Then they left me alone. Very soon after that there was an incident on one of the floors and Patsy was killed after falling six floors down a lift shaft. He fell through these central heating and pipes and water ducts right through into the basement but it didn’t kill him instantly. He crawled out and got into a minibus outside the hotel and just murmured ‘hospital, hospital’. He died shortly after that.'

"Cooksey was woken up at 4am and, with Glen Hughes and the second bodyguard – 'Paddy the Plank' – taken to the police station and informally charged with being implicated in Collins’ murder.

“'It’s my opinion it was a set up to get me out of the way,' says Cooksey. 'The band had to play again that night and they were quite literally taken from the hotel at gunpoint and pushed up on to the stage. They let Glenn out to do it but they’d only played for 20 minutes when the place went crazy. The crowds rioted and the police set dogs on them.'

"Cooksey remained in a jail overnight and, with Hughes and Paddy, was brought before a hearing the following morning. 'The judge looked like some General Amin type, all medals everywhere, and he had this big revolver which he kept playing with... he kept spinning the cylinder and putting bullets into it. He said in his opinion the whole thing had been a tragic accident and all we had to do was go through the formality of having our passports photostatted. The bottom line was we paid $2,000 to get our passports back.'

"From the courthouse the trio were taken to the airfield where the plane was waiting with the rest of the group and crew on board. But their problems weren’t over yet. 'One of the wheels had a puncture and the captain requested the use of a special jack and torque wrench but we had to pay $10,000 to use it… plus they didn’t have anyone there who knew how it worked. [Roadies] Ozzie Hoppe, Baz Marshall, myself and the engineer from the plane ended up changing a wheel… on a Boeing 707. Feelings were running so high at this point that there was a plot hatched to grab one of these officious little Indonesians and throw him out somewhere over the ocean on our way to Japan. Fortunately I heard about it and scotched it.

“'It was a horrendous experience. We lost Patsy and we should have made three quarters of a million dollars but in Indonesia there is nothing you can do. When I was in prison Ozzie Hoppe called our lawyer in Los Angeles and he flew to Indonesia just after we left. He arranged a meeting with the promoter but they chased him around the room with a machete. He landed in Tokyo not long after we did and said ‘forget it’. We just had to write it off.'

"Patsy Collins was a well liked figure on the London music scene, an employee of the Artists Services security company and a frequent visitor to the Speakeasy Club and other haunts of rock musicians. He had worked for several well known acts and, with his usual partner ‘Fat Fred’ had been featured in a hilarious aticle in Melody Maker in which their exploits were graphically described by writer Roy Hollingworth. Romantic stories that Patsy never died and for reasons best known to himself decided to concoct a story with an anonymous confidante and disppear into the anonyminity of the Australian outback are whispered even now. While his fondness for cold lager provides the flimsiest of motives, no one in the Deep Purple camp seems to have actually seen the body. There the matter must rest."

h/t Tommy Bolin

Excerpted from “Deep Purple”, by Chris Charlesworth.

[hampterguts]

sorry to be a hater but im socially obliged to watch all of twin peaks and um. when does it become watcheable.

thought-swarm rant below

i kept being told that theres a moment everything lines up and it all makes sense and the ppl who are going out of their way to let me watch it arent bigoted but the show is. the show is. not even in a conversational way its just unironic straight faced bigotry and the constant graphic depiction of sexual assault to women and teenage girls and the way the majority of adult characters the viewer is Definitely supposed to like are/were/arent upposed to having sex with high schoolers. not only are half the cast 18 theyre still supposed to be in high school.

like how am i supposed to like this show. the only main character thats a woman of color is the most unironic orientalist caricature. shes pure she's evil, shes loving but shes cold and has no feelings, shes innocent shes guilty, shes strong shes helpless, shes a manipulator shes being manipulated, shes the sole owner of a log company shes blackmailed into being a maid, shes a sexual abuse survivor, she loves america and hates her home country, her entire character story revolves around people who "own" her. she gets talked about like shes an item or a pet. she needs white cop man to save her from white people. one of white ppl whom literally spent an ENTIRE season "in disguise" as a vague east asian man. my ears still hurt from the racist accent. also the woman's dead husband who isnt dead bc she warned him hates her btw. the show acts like hes reasonable to. in fact another Good White Boy cop is seen as reasonable for not trusting her and holding her at gunpoint after she shoots ONE of her abusers. and again all of these things are shown BARE HANDEDLY AS IN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT ALL AT FACE VALUE- ok well i still have like 8 episodes left but im not getting utena levels of "isnt this so fucked up to expect from a human being?" im getting "isnt she a fucked up little thing?"

she has short hair too btw. do you understand my devastation. my dyke ass was SO excited to see a Cool Calm short haired business suit wearing woman in charge of a lumber factory all by herself. like "wow this isnt egregiously racist i cant wait to see-" only a few episodes later and its the worst ive seen. i cant stomach this at all.

im going to have an aneurysm. i swear if i have to experience any more of this all of my blood vessels are going to burst and im going to dissipate on the floor. i have at least 8 episodes left. the mystery isnt even interesting to me bc all that keeps happening is racism, ableism, pedophilia, sexual assault, and romantic issues. its all so character-relationship driven and it expects you to be invested in and also LIKE these characters. i cant! i thought the director was famous why does this suck so extremely bad!!!!! when does the reveal happen and when it DOES happen i have a bad feeling it wont be worth the mental emotional pain ive been through. like im sorry famous director i think you'll have to scramble a LOT to make this one mentally ill internet faggot consider watching your other work at all. you cant handle mental illness you cant handle physical disability you cant handle race you cant handle women you cant handle mystery what CAN you write.

like its not even artsy with it. one artsy scene does not count. it also had a teenage girl kissing an unknown-aged adult man who we ARE SUPPOSED TO LIKE!!!! he's consistently "our little sweetheart protag hes so sweet and kind and trying to Do Good!!!!" fuck him to hell. his biggest reason to Not Date an 18 yr old whos still in school was bc hes "still in love with a dead woman". why the fuck is this show popular. what was the norm for the time this came out bc it sounds PRETTY BAD IF THIS IS CONSIDERED GOOD.

[forensicated]

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of rape.

Smiffina Episodes - Episode 267

Not a Smiffina episode but it does contain elements that are wrapped up in the storylines of them so it needs to be covered.

Andrea requests that Smithy tell Gabriel he was the one who took the rape allegation of Kerry to MIT. Smithy reminds her he's gaining Gabriel's trust to get him to open up so he can wind it up quicker. Andrea pouts and scowls and then is called away by Gabriel to go out for a job. Before they can leave, Smithy asks Gabriel if he wants to go out for a drink that night to 'catch up'. I admit I'm no Andrea fan but given Smithy's behaviour/reactions to Gabriel all of a couple of weeks ago to suddenly wanting to be friends and catch up... lets just say even Mr Magoo could work this one out. Gabriel doesn't however - it takes him directly asking Andrea, twice, to find out that it was Smithy. And that it was Kerry who told Andrea that he'd raped her.

Gabriel releases his suspect without doing a deeper search into his background. A 5 minute search by Smithy pulls up another name that the suspect has another name he goes by and that he has previous for fire arm offences. Gabriel shrugs and says that it doesn't matter, he didn't do the crime. Smithy asks him so sure - Gabriel replies "He's innocent. Just like me."

Gabriel closes Smithy's office door and asks him why he told MIT about the allegation. Smithy points out that MIT are investigating the murder and need to know everything - and that he believes the allegation to be true. He tells him that everything Gabriel made out to be true after her death just didn't make sense. After all, if Gabriel really was the true love of Kerry's life - why didn't she speak a word about him? Smithy challenges him to tell the truth and admit he raped her - given that Smithy has no evidence and its just the two of them. Gabriel smiles and steps forward. "The truth is, you don't rape women like Kerry... you don't have to."

Gabriel goads Smithy into attacking him claiming he's jealous but, despite his anger, Smithy knows that to do so would only make the situation worse and he reluctantly lets him go.

We end the episode with Gabriel being held at gunpoint by the suspect he let go, with Smithy having a bad feeling about the situation and ending up in the room too. Gabriel had been trying to connect to the gunman about his complicated relationship by making up stories about him and Kerry. The gunman orders Smithy to remain still and for Gabriel to continue. With Smithy in the room, Gabriel continues his lies. "They said I wasn't good enough for her. I couldn't believe she wanted to be with me! Like you I thought I wasn't good enough." he continues, trying to make the gunman see what he is throwing away. Smithy finds out where the mans son is and has to leave the room to confirm it - whilst Gabriel continues with his lies and, eventually, talks the man down into giving himself up. As he does, he spots the sniper he'd been working with to provide 'justice' on the roof opposite - pulling the suspect down onto the floor with him as both are shot at. The suspect lands on top of Gabriel with a pool of blood spreading underneath both.

[theyaremycrocsyoudonut]

Yes yes yes. And not only this but he would have been 22 when Forest Life came out. Which means he was listening to Trees. Hold on this needs a bigger analysis than I imagined cause Trees is SUCH a Gallavich song.

This is the song for anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about:

LISTEN TO THOSE LYRICS IT'S LIKE A PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF GALLAVICH:

"Slept in your room with your friends on the inside"

Two interpretations of this: 1) Season 4 when Mickey slept in Ian's room with all of his brothers inside because Terry was in prison and he wanted to spend as much time with Ian as he possibly could before he came back and 2) That first night when they sleep in their new apartment on the West side and Mickey can't sleep cause it doesn't really feel like his room and his bed you know

Which brings me to my next point:

"Needed some air so I slept on the outside"

When Mickey leaves their apartment on the West side and goes to sleep in the Gallagher house, which is in ruins but it feels like home, it feels like there he can be himself and breathe

"Down by the couch with your boyfriend I need this, the smell of his hair and the taste of his lips "

Again all those nights Mickey spent on the floor cause he wanted to be with Ian, just exist in the same space as him. He missed everything about him when he was gone, the smell of his hair and the taste of his lips, and he wasn't letting go when he came back. Sleeping on the floor is a small price to pay to be this close to the person you love.

"I hide in the closet but I'm not a faggot"

Everything about Mickey's storyline up until he came out SCREAMS this lyric. He couldn't admit that he was gay even to HIMSELF. And even when he came out he was so adamant about not fitting to some stupid gay stereotype because he didn't want people treating him like Terry treated him. This one speaks for itself actually.

"My friends never found out, my mom was a Christian"

This one applies a little less than the others but it still portrays the angst of being closeted in a place like this you know? And I do think the friends Ian and Mickey had in like high school never did find out about their relationship.

"My dad is an alchie, I bet that he kills me"

Oh this one hits the spot exactly. The alchie part applies to Frank and somewhat to Terry and the second part. Holy fuck. Chills. Mickey mentioned it in season 2 episode 8 that if his dad ever found out about him and Ian he would have killed him. And he was right. Terry tried to murder him multiple times throughout the show for being gay. He beat him up, he pistol whipped him, he had him raped at gunpoint, he shot at him after the wedding. He killed his soul and crushed his spirit a million times.

"I don't know how God thinks but god, do you love me?"

This one represents Ian's gay Jesus ark. After Mickey left, Ian had a great internal battle regarding religion. Granted a good chunk of it was due to him being manic, but I believe he had actual theological questions and that is very clearly visible when he thinks The Shim stopped talking to him. Also that was the question that was raised after everything that went down in season 8. All those kids forced to go to conversion therapy, being told how their existence is immoral and they will burn in hell if they don't change. So yeah we don't know how God thinks but does he love us?

"She said I need a certain satisfaction kind, it's something you could never give to my type"

This could also be interpreted in many ways. This could be Mandy to Ian or Svetlana to Mickey or maybe even Ian to Mickey(if you replace the she with he) right before he came out cause he just wanted more than he was willing to give at the time.

"Just burn my pants, I'm such a freak, a fucking faggot that never sees"

This is both Ian and Mickey at times but it's much more relatable to Mickey's situation. Especially those first few episodes of season 4 where he tried so hard to deny how much he missed Ian but he failed so miserably. This one specifically reminds the scene where he fucks that random redhead in the Alibi bathroom and you can see his face is full of remorse, sadness and self pity.

Anyway, as soon as I saw this post I needed to analyse trees because ever since I heard it for the first time it's been brewing inside of me. Please give me more interpretations I fucking love relating songs to characters.

Mickey was 19 when the album beachboy came out.

So, in conclusion, mickey was listening to this.

[poorlydrawnprodigalson]

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you...

Please don't take my Sunshine away. "

[lingering-42-long]

Tell me, who did this to you?

Ghost x Female Reader

Requested by @fiction0bsessed hope you enjoy!

Warnings: pg-17, borderline mentioning rape, slight angst, ptsd, trauma

Note: IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE WARNINGS PLEASE DO NOT READ.

Summary: Robbers break into readers apartment and traumatize her, Ghost isn’t to happy about it.

It was terrible, absolutely scary. You hadn’t known fear until you came face to face with some robbers in your apartment. One of them held you a gunpoint, the others robbed the place dry. The one holding you teased that he might do awful things if You didn’t cooperate. By the time the place was ransacked one of the boys grinned and pinned you to the wall. “Such a pretty little thing too. It would be a shame to not waste this opportunity on her.” Tears pricked you eyes. “Dude cops are patrolling the area come on! Leave her.” The other grinned and forced a kiss on you before hitting you with the back of his bat…

Simon was coming to your apartment from A night drinking with the boys. He had called you once and you hadn’t picked up your phone. That was real concerning for him. You always answered the phone or texted him letting him know what was causing the hold up and even if you did not text him, you usually called him shortly after his call. You too have been dating for about a year and by now he pretty much had to figure it out. Communication was key for both of you and you both agreed on how important it was, so this behavior was out of the normal. He tried three more times but to no avail. Something in the pit of his stomach churned as he feared something happened. He had a mission now, get to your apartment as quickly as possible. Ghost prayed to whatever heavenly being was listening that you were alright.

When Ghost arrived the door was not locked, and when he entered into the establishment his eyes widened. Everything was a mess. Several electronics were missing papers were everywhere glass was broken, but were was (y/n)? “(Y/n)?!” He called out almost frantically scanning the area. Whoever did this left in a hurry. Simon walked to the back of the apartment and found her on the floor, unconscious. Without a second thought he rushed to her side, checking her pulse. It was beating which was good, he noted the bruises on her wrists and a large bump on her head. ‘Concussion’ he thought. Flashbacks of suppressed trauma from years before of his own family, made him fall back clutching his chest. ‘No! No no no no no! This couldn’t be happening’ His mind raced and the world spun around him fast. He closed his eyes to shut out the madness. Slowly, he recovered from the episode. Reaching to your face and gently stroking it he took in deep breaths. Reaching his phone he called the paramedics.

(Y/n) woke up to a lit room in an unfamiliar bed. Thinking the worst, she panicked, gasping and writhing around as soon as she felt hands on her “Love! It’s me calm down.” That voice… she knew it. Simon.

“S-Simon?” (Y/n) asked with a shaky breath

“Shhhhh it’s me, I’m here Love” The man gently turned your face to him. He was not wearing his normal mask but a plain black N95. His hoodie covered his head and the only thing was his eyes witch looked like they had seen a ghost. He scanned over (y/n) making sure she was ok and holding her hand. This was just as traumatizing for him as it was for (y/n).

His eyes looked at you, trying to reason with his crazed, over-processing head. She was ok. She was breathing. She was in his hands. (Y/n) was shaking as the horrific events of the recent past sent her into a state of shock and she cried. It killed Simon to see (y/n) so scared, so petrified, so fearful. This wasn’t her. She was the happy one, the sweet one, the one who made his cold heat flutter and his face warm up. Seeing her this weak, this vulnerable, it did something to him. “Love, tell me, who did this to you?” His voice was deep, threatening, dangerous. Ghost was about to find out who dared to harm her, and extinguish them from existence.

“I-I don’t know they were masked… one almost forced himself on me. He tried to kiss me… I was so scared” (y/n)’s body shook and held onto Ghost’s had for dear life.

“Fuck them. I’m going to gut them clean” Simon’s dark voice rumbled like a brewing storm “Please! Just stay with me… I need you.” (y/n)‘s soft, scared voice called to him. Ghost’s eyes softened as he kissed her head “Always. He told her.

(Y/n) finally got released after three days. The police asked some questions and left and Simon had taken up the liberty to have her move into his house for the time till things settled. He set up the guest room with her things that were not taken like the clothes, makeup, and jewelry they weren’t aware of.

Simon would be lying to himself if he did not believe that somehow this was not his fault. The fact that she was left alone, and this could have been stopped if he was there. The possessive, aggressive side of him was taking over, this would not happen again. He would protect her this time. He palled to think what would have happened if he was deployed or away.

(Y/n) came out of the bathroom. Her eyes were sunken from the lack of sleep, her body was rigged, she shyed away from Simon’s touch, At the hospital she woke up in cold sweat with wild eyes trying to find Ghost. Now she was in her sleepwear looking like a kicked kitten. Simon’s heart ached to see her like this. Sure he was a hypocrite, she would worry about his health every time he woke up in a fright or experience any type of PTSD moment. He said it was fine, normal, or he was used to it. He is the soldier, Simon could handle this, but his girl was not. (Y/n) was not a trained fighter like he was, nor did she have the same past trauma that so many of the men had when joining the army. She was his innocent sweet little dove, flower in the pavement of a busy sidewalk, and a warm fire on a cold rainy day. Now that dove had its wings clipped, the flower trampled on, and the fire doused with water. She needed healing, Simon new that much, ‘therapy would be good for her’ he thought.

“Umm Simon?” (Y/N) called as he looked at her.

“Yes love?” His face was uncovered but he was masking his raw anger to the people who did this to her.

“Can I sleep with you tonight? I… I don’t want to be alone.”

“I got to go in to the Barracks but I will be back” he lied “I promise you will be very safe here.” He kissed her head lightly, feeling her bury her head into his jacket. “Ok. Please come home soon.”

“I will love, trust me.”

Simon left soon after that heading into the night to do some hunting.

Later that night Ghost came back from his excursion. There were four people marked off his kill list. He want going to tell (y/n) about this. Some things are best left quite.

He got into some shorts, he slept in, and climbed into bed next to his broken girl. She would be alright, he would see to it. Gently laying a kiss on her temple and bringing her close to his body, Simon sighed knowing you were safe with him.

[merci-bitch]

Nobody Knows Where We Might End Up, Nobody Knows

Addison Montgomery x fem!reader

Warning(s): angst, blood, cheating, just pure sadness

A/N: Ok, here it is. And it was just as hell as the other episode. But I do hope you all like it, you all seemed to like the first part ! Thank you ! Xx

Tag - @woderfulkawaii

“Still don’t think it’s fair, Addison.”

“Boho Y/N.”

“Very funny Addison. Very funny.”

You heard Addison laughing on the other side of the phone.

“Suck it up buttercup.”

You could almost hear Addison’s smirk on the other side of the phone.

“You ain’t never had a woman like me.” Addison practically purred.

“Don’t start Addison.”

“Start what?”

[Pager beeps]

“Thank god for Bailey.”

Addison chuckled on the other end of the line and made a kiss sound and wished you a good day.

-

[Derek]:

The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no.

[Gunshot]

In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. To love or hate. To be a hero or a coward. To fight or to give in. To live or die.

[Gasp]

Derek took a deep breath as the sudden pain raddled through him. He looked down himself and saw his light blue blouse turning dark. Derek touched the dark stain and felt his fingers getting sticky with something. That something being his own blood. Derek looked up and saw April standing above him, holding her hands up in defence.

“My name is April Kepner. I’m 28 years old. I was born on April 23rd, in Ohio.” April started rambling as she was held at gunpoint.

“I’m from Columbus, Ohio. M-My mum’s a teacher and my dad is a farmer…” April stuttered. “Corn. Corn, he grows corn. Their names are Karen and Joe. I have three sisters.” April said as she held up three fingers. “Libby’s the oldest, I’m next and then there’s Kimmie and Alice.”

The shooter didn’t lower his gun, but his eyes flickered between April and Derek.

“I haven’t done anything yet. I haven’t…I’ve barely lived. I’m not finished yet. No one’s loved me yet. Please, please. I’m someone’s child.” April choked on her own sobs as she spoke. “I’m a person. I’m a person.”

“Run.”

The shooter made eye contact with April as he gripped the gun tighter. April’s body started shaking and it took her everything she had to run.

[Derek]:

Live or die. That’s the important choice. And it’s not always in your hands.

-

“Why are they only getting civilians out? Where’s the staff?” Richard asked the police officer.

“Policy is to clear visitors room by room, floor by floor, and remove them before removing any nonessential hospital personnel.”

“Did they get the shooter? Do you know where the shooter is? Do you know who the shooter is?” Richard asked again.

“No sir.” The officer responded as he started walking away.

“Do you know anything?” Richard grabbed the officer’s arm. The officer gave him a weak glare before turning on the radio.

“Dr. Owen Hunt from Seattle Grace…”

“Commander, I’ve got sound.” Another officer said.

“We are coming out with a critical patient.”

“Dr. Torres. I’m up on peds, we’ve got a kid with a ruptured appendix.”

“Dr. Miranda Bailey. I’m on five.”

” He shot a doctor. In the ICU.”

“There’ are two dead security guards…” Miranda’s voice was trembling.

“This guy. Six-one, greying hair, moustache…”

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N has been shot…”

“He shot a nurse up here, Karev…”

“Please come, we need help.”

“We’ve got a GSW to the chest, I need a way outta here if he’s gonna make it.” Mark explained through the call.

“He was looking for the chief, specifically the chief. He shot him. He shot Derek Shepherd, right in front of us. We need help.” Richard heard Cristina’s voice over the radio. He turned his eyes towards the hospital as the radio continued to sound. He heard his people cry for help, heard his people die. He would never be able to forgive himself. Never.

-

“How much further?” Mary asked as she continued to hold up the liquid in her hand.

“We’re almost there.” Bailey responded as she continued to drag you across the floor towards the elevator. “We’re gonna get her on the elevator, and then we’ll be right at the OR floor. We’re almost there.”

“We’re almost there, OK Y/N?”

“We’re almost there?” Your voice was barely a whisper.

“Just a few more minutes.”

Bailey pressed the button, but nothing happened.

“Dr. B?” Mary asked quietly.

You looked up and saw how Bailey continued to press the button. It didn’t matter how many times she pressed it, nothing seemed to happen. Bailey leant forward, pressing her ear against the doors of the elevator.

“There’s a hum elevators make when they are on. There’s a hum. There’s no hum.”

“What does that mean?” Mary asked.

“It means the elevators, they’re off!”

You heard Bailey run to the other side of the small hallway, towards the other elevator on the other side. Bailey continued to press the buttons, but nothing happened.

“The elevators aren’t working! The elevators aren’t working!”

You heard Bailey start to shout and how Mary tried her best to calm her down. Bailey clapped her hands as she yelled out,

“We need to get to the OR! Turn the elevators back on! Turn them back on!” Bailey shouted as she continued to press the buttons. “Oh, damn it!”

You squeezed your eyes tightly as Bailey started screaming. How her voice was raw with tears.

“Turn the elevators back on!”

Tears were streaming down her face.

“Please! The man is still here somewhere. He’ll hear us!” Mary tried as Bailey kept screaming out. It hurt. It was like a knife in the heart as Bailey screamed for help, she knew wouldn’t come. It was one who kept tearing around. One who couldn’t move. As if the gods above were looking down and laughing.

“Please, stop. Please, Dr. B!”

“OK. OK.”

“What are we gonna do?” Mary asked Bailey once she stopped screaming.

You made eye contact with Bailey. Both eyes were filled with tears. Bailey’s hands were covered in blood, your blood. The colour of your skin was draining. The sheet you were lying on had turned from a bright yellow colour to a deep dark red stained. You were lying in your own blood. “What are we gonna do?” Mary whispered when Bailey turned her back and took a few steps forward.

“Dr. B, what’s the plan?” Mary asked again. “You have a plan, right, Dr. B?”

Bailey was a wreck. She was crying silent tears. Her whole body was shaking at this point. She had to be cursed. She was going to lose another one of her interns. She was going to lose you. First George, then Izzy and now you. Why was this happening? Miranda took a deep breath and tried her best to fall on the ground again, to grip herself. She grabbed her shirt and wiped her face clean from the tears. She turned around again and took off the gloves she’d been wearing and slowly made her wat towards you.

“We can’t get to the OR, but she has to get to the OR.” Mary rambled. You made eye contact with Bailey again.

“Miranda. We should be on a first name basis.” Miranda sat down and pulled your head into her lap. You pulled off the oxygen mask with the help of Miranda, and asked,

“I’m dying, right? Am I dying now?” You said so softly, as you looked up at Miranda.

“Yes. Yes Y/N, you are dying. But I don’t want you to worry. I don’t want you to be afraid.” Miranda started tearing up again as you started crying. “Cause I…Am not going to leave you, OK? Mary. Mary. Mary and I, are gonna be with you, the whole time.” Miranda said as she’d grabbed Mary’s hand in hers and took a hold of yours.

“You are not alone. Do you hear me? You are not alone.”

You nodded your head and tried your best not to choke on your tears. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying your best to relax. To just be there. You opened your eyes again and looked up at Miranda, and asked weakly, “Addison?”

-

Addison walked out of OR with a smile on her face. Feeling relief wash over her as the surgery was successful. The new member of the practice, Anna, walked up to her with her phone.

“Dr. Montgomery, your phone was ringing for quite a few times. I think they left a voicemail.”

“You didn’t listen to it, did you?” Addison raised an eyebrow at Anna, a small grin on her lips.

“Of course not!” Anna flushed.

“I’m joking.” Addison waved her off and checked her phone, seeing 5 missed calls from you. You’d left a voicemail. She pressed play and lifted her phone up to her ear.

“I-I know you slept with Mark.” Addison’s face dropped.

“Lexie told me, when he was in LA with Sloan.”

Addison heard you choke on your sobs and felt her heart drop.

“W-Why couldn’t you answer? I-There’s a s-shooter in the hospital.” Addison lost the colour in her face.

Naomi walked to Addison, holding out a hand. She looked like she was going to faint.

“I-I’ve been shot.” Addison heard you laugh in shock.

“He shot me Addie. I couldn’t be quiet. I’m s-so sorry.” She heard you let out another pained sob.

“I made Bailey promise to tell me the truth. No matter what would happen. Will you still love me tomorrow? I-I lost the baby.”

Baby.

“I-I was planning to tell you when you came home. But I thought I-I’m not going to be there. I’m dying, Bailey told me I’m dying. Please tell me you’ll love me tomorrow.”

Addison couldn’t move.

“I-I’m freezing. But it doesn’t h-hurt anymore. That’s good, right?”

Then, Addison heard a faint sound of a gun being fired in the background and flinched.

Then, the line went dead.

-

It had been a week since the shooting, or more. She couldn’t remember. Addison had lost count of the days that passed. She couldn’t look at you without seeing you in that bed, with tubes down your throat and a scar from the wound in your lower abdomen. The words from Bailey still rang inside her head.

“She was dead, Addison. What the hell went through your mind?!”

“She was carrying your child!”

“Normally I would mind my own business if it wasn’t my intern that nearly died in my lap.”

There was a distance between the two of you, Addison knew that. She saw how you tried to remove that distance but how something held you back. She knew you hadn’t forgiven her yet, or if you even would. It pained her even more to see you struggle to forgive her when she knew damn well, she didn’t deserve it. In those small weeks Addison had gotten her job back at Seattle Grace, now called Seattle Grace Mercy West. She had yet to become somewhat friends again with Miranda. She knew it would take time, but this time? She was willing to be patient.

Addison stepped through the door and noticed how quiet it was. You still weren’t back yet; the wound was still healing. She knew you still suffered from the trauma but there would always be some small sounds when she arrived home. It was never just quiet.

Addison called out your name but got no response. Addison walked further into your home and saw the bathroom door slightly ajar. She stepped inside and saw you sitting in the water with your clothes on, mumbling to yourself as you shivered. Addison took quick steps over to the bathtub and went down on her knees, grabbing your arm. The water was ice cold, and your lips were turning blue.

“Hey, Y/N. you need to get out of the water.”

Addison said as she tried pulling you out, but you didn’t move. You were crying. Your sobs becoming louder as Addison continued to try to get you out.

“I-I don’t…I don’t want it.”

“Y/N- “

Addison continued to try to pull you out of the water when you turned to her, eyes red from crying and your voice hoarse.

“No, I didn’t want it! I don’t want you!” You nearly screamed at her.

Addison looked down into the water and saw your wound, you’d scratched at it. Addison stood up as you let out another heart-breaking sob to take off her shoes. She then stepped into the bath behind you. She grabbed your hands and pulled them up to your shoulders and made you lean back against her.

“Okay, listen to me. You’re not alone. OK? I’m right here with you.” Addison put her head on your shoulder as she spoke. She put her hand on your forehead, making you lean back against her as you tried to pull away. “Okay? You’re gonna breathe.” You took a deep breath with her, trying to fill your lungs with as much air as possible. Addison’s grip on your hands tightened with every deep breath you took. Breathing in and out with you.

It took you a while. Perhaps an hour or two? When Addison pulled you up and wrapped you in a towel, it was unclear what happened to you. You let her lead you. The next thing you knew, you were cuddled up close to her. Your hands having a tight grip on her shirt, being afraid she’d disappear if you let go. Addison wasn’t going anywhere. She was right where she wanted to be. With you.

[dean-samw67]

This is Hell

Chapter 39: Season 4 Episode 13

Warnings: None

Words:

(The first part of this chapter is a flashback if that isn't clear while reading)

“Okay, okay.” Harper laughs as she crosses her legs while sitting with Daryl on the floor in the store they were held up in. They were taking this time to get to know each other more, at the request of Daryl. Maybe it was because he was jealous seeing her with Daniel so he wanted an excuse to get closer to her. Or maybe he just was being nice. Or maybe to pass the time. “I know Zach has been trying to guess it, but what did you really do before all of this?” She looks over at him as she places her hands in her lap. 

“What do ya think I did?” He looks over at her from his spot on the floor, his back against the wall. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Maybe you were a undercover spy and that’s why you are the dark and mysterious type.” She jokes, her voice laced with laughter. 

Daryl lets out a chuckle as he shakes his head, “Not exactly.” 

“Then what was it?” 

“Ya can’t tell Zach. It’ll ruin the fun of his little game.” Daryl meets her eyes with his blue ones. 

“My lips are sealed.” Harper swipes her fingers over her lips and acts like she is locking them. 

“I never really did anything. I kinda was just with Merle. Went where he went. It really isn’t as exciting as an undercover spy but it’s the truth.” Daryl shrugs. Harper gives him a sympathetic look but Daryl is quick to break it. “What about you? What did you do, before all this?” 

“A teacher.” 

“A teacher? Really?” 

“Yeah. A kindergarten teacher. I always had the sweetest kids in my class. They kind of always gave me hope while me and Devon were trying to have a baby.” Harper looks down at her fingers. 

It was Daryl’s turn to be sympathetic, “I’m sure they were all great kids.” 

“They were.” Harper nods. “Anyway, next question.” Harper tries to move on as she lets out a yawn, covering her mouth. 

“I think ya should try to get some rest.” Daryl shifts to make himself more comfortable as he chuckles at her. 

“I don’t want to leave you up by yourself all night.” Harper shakes her head. 

“It’s fine. I’m really not tired.” He assures her. 

“You sure?” Daryl just gives a small nod to her question and she lets out a sigh before grabbing her jacket and bunching it up to lay on. She lays on her back and stares up at the ceiling. It falls comfortably silent over the two of them, aside from the occasional bang on the glass from a walker on the outside. “Do you think things will ever be normal?” 

“Don’t think, just go to sleep.” Daryl looks down at her. 

“I can’t help it.” She shifts her eyes from the ceiling to his face. “When it gets quiet and I try to sleep I just start thinking about everything.” 

“I get it.” He nods. “Maybe one day things will be normal.” 

“I hope they can be.” 

***

Daryl had approached the group he was with holding Rick, Michonne and Carl at gunpoint. It was the people they had been looking for the whole time. Watching them hurt his family was too much. He tried to step in, tried to offer his life. It only earned him a beating from the men in the group. It was a quick blur before Rick had bit a chunk from the leader's neck. Seeing one of the men touching Carl made him see red and hearing the older man’s belt unbuckling while on top of Carl sent Rick off the rails. He can remember being so angry. Stabbing the man, who was hurting his son, over and over until he was certain he was dead. 

The next morning, he had been covered in blood, leaning against the car as he stared at the trees. Michonne was in the car with Carl, but he couldn’t sleep. Not after everything last night. 

Daryl walks up to Rick, grabbing a water bottle and pulling his bandana out of his back pocket. He opens the plastic bottle before pouring some onto his bandana. 

“We should save that for drinking.” Rick looks up at him. 

“Ya can’t see yourself. But he can.” Daryl motions to the car before handing Rick his bandana. He takes a seat next to Rick. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know what they were. How bad they could be.” 

“How did you end up with them?” Rick asks as he wipes the dried blood from his face. 

“I was with Beth and Alexis. Was with them for a while.” Daryl looks at his hands, picking at his nails. 

“Are they dead?” Rick looks over at Daryl. 

“They’re just gone. A car with a white cross took ‘em. After that they found me. I knew they weren’t good, but they had a code.” Daryl shrugs as he explains. 

“Harper?” Rick questions, he was curious if his sister made it out or not. 

“We thought we saw her get taken down by a walker. She was weak still, from being sick. Didn’t think she made it and I had the girls to worry about. But when I was with those guys, I came across this.” Daryl fishes out the locket with the broken chain from his pocket. He holds it out for Rick to see. 

“You think she’s out here?” 

“Somewhere. She’s got to be.” Daryl nods as he closes his hand over the gold metal. 

“She’s a fighter. I think she’s out here somewhere, too.” Rick looks back over to the trees. “I’m glad you are back with us, Daryl. You're my brother.” He turns his head back to Daryl as he speaks. Daryl bites the inside of his cheek as he nods as it falls silent for a few seconds. 

“What you did last night, anyone would do it.” Daryl meets Rick’s eye. 

“No, not that.” Rick shakes his head. 

“I would. If that was Alexis. Carl’s your boy, you had to do what you could to protect him.” 

Once Carl was up they headed off, in search of Terminus. Rick wasn’t certain which led him to believe sneaking in would be best. 

***

Harper was still hung up on the loss of her locket, but she at least had her wedding ring. Instead of reaching for her locket, which was a nervous habit of hers, she would spin the ring around her finger. A grunt from Alexis causes her to look over at the young brunette, who was holding her stomach.

“You okay?” Harper questions in concern. 

“Just my stomach cramping from feeling hungry. It’s fine.” Alexis nods as she waves her hand. 

“We can stop. Here.” Harper slides her bag off of her shoulder and holds it out to Alexis. “There should be a few cans of food in there.” She offers, not thinking as she does so. Once Alexis takes the bag, sitting on the ground against a tree, Harper looks around where they had stopped, looking for any resources. Mia would have objected to Harper giving the bag to Alexis, considering she knew what was in the bag. But maybe Alexis can convince Harper to be more concerned. 

Alexis digs around the bag before she pulls out a bottle of prenatal vitamins. Her eyebrows knit together as she throws them back in while opening the bag and looking inside. She finds two pregnancy tests, exactly the same brand of test as the one at the funeral home. 

“You are her…” Lexi mumbles. 

“What’s that?” Harper looks over at Alexis before her face drops and goes pale. 

“You were the woman who dropped the test at the funeral home.” Alexis looks up at Harper. Harper rushes over to her, taking the tests and bag from her. She shoves the tests back into the bag before pulling out a can of spaghettios and placing it in her hand. 

“I think you were looking for this.” Harper slings the bag over her shoulder and steps away from Alexis. 

Lexi stands up from the ground, “And those vitamins aren’t even open. Why are you not taking them?” 

“Alexis.” Harper shakes her head. 

“No! I’m done with you acting like I know nothing. I am not a little clueless kid! You should be taking care of not only yourself but this baby! You rushed into a herd of fucking walkers! What if-” 

“Don’t you talk to me like that!” Harper whips her head around and looks down at Lexi. 

“Why do you not care!? That’s your baby! Daryl’s baby!” Alexis shouts. 

“You wouldn’t begin to understand! You may not be little but you are still a kid! Both of you girls are! So you and you,” She points at each of them, “keep your damn noses out of it.” Mia looks away from the two of them. She wouldn’t argue but Alexis was another story. 

“How do you think Daryl would feel if he knew you weren’t caring for the baby?! Huh?” 

“You need to stop butting your head into adult business.” Harper scoffs. 

“You need to stop ignoring your problems all the time.” Alexis snaps back. “This is something that won’t just disappear. Whether you like it or not, there is a baby. So be the damn adult here and quit acting like nothing is going on.” Harper’s lack of symptoms made it easy for her to ignore. 

“A teenager is arguing with me about something she knows nothing about.” Harper laughs. 

“I know that you don’t care enough about that baby that you are willing to throw yourself into harm's way the second you have a chance. Or that you won’t take the damn vitamins. Or that you feel more comfortable keeping it a secret until something goes wrong and you or the baby’s lives are in danger.” Alexis crosses her arms as she grits her teeth. “I may be young but I’m not blind. I see things, I know enough.” 

“Harper?” The three girls turn to the voice that didn’t come from either of them. “I thought I heard you two.” 

“Carol?” Harper gasps and rushes to her, pulling her into an embrace. Lexi’s anger falls and she follows Harper, hugging onto the familiar woman. Harper pulls back as she sees Tyreese behind Carol, holding Judith. Tears build at the edges of Harper’s eyes as she rushes over, giving Ty a quick hug before taking her niece into her arms and holding her close. She places her hand on the back of her head and kisses Judith’s temple. 

“You guys are okay.” Alexis smiles as she hugs Tyreese. 

“So are you guys.” Ty chuckles. Carol looks over at Mia. 

“And you are?” 

“Mia.” She answers. 

“She’s with me. She saved me.” Harper explains as she looks at Judith with a smile. “You saved her.” She glances at Tyreese and Carol.

“It was all Tyreese. I can’t take the credit.” Carol motions to him. 

“Thank you.” Harper gives him an appreciative look. 

“Of course.” He nods. The tension between Alexis and Harper had dissipated. For now.

Chapter 40~

This is Hell Masterlist

[one-chicago-fanfiction]

Adam and Jay: The Undercover Apartment

Word Count: 1,600 Warnings: Spoilers for last week's episode, discussion of drugs and trauma. Summary: After what happened, Adam just wants to avoid the world. Not just his unit, and his ex, but his two partners, Jay and Hailey. But Jay is too worried about his boyfriend to let that happen.

Note: Poly Adam (dating both Jay and Hailey AU)

Jay was the one who figured it out. Adam was slouched on the couch in the undercover apartment, bare walls, boxes filled with things that weren’t even his, and in the end he grew so tired of his phone—the people making it buzz on the arm of the couch, and the one person in particular who wasn’t. The last thing he’d seen before he held down the power button with his good hand was an unread message from Jay, the third or fourth that night.

So it made sense, then, that thirty minutes later there came a knock at the door, Jay’s voice calling out, muffled through the wood.

“Adam?” He said. “You in there?”

Adam let his eyes slip shut a moment, heart rate ticking up in his chest. It was the fell swoop from being alone, to the knowledge that Jay had driven all the way out here because of a difficult case and a couple unanswered texts. It was the knowledge of Jay’s proximity, right there, close enough to reach out and touch. He just had to open the door.

Adam hauled himself to his feet.

He paused at the door for just a moment, his forehead tipped against it, and when he pulled it open seconds later, the sight of Jay made it hard to swallow. He looked pale, a little tired—but it was more than that. Jay’s expression was heavy with concern, a concern set so deep in his eyes it looked more like sadness.

“Hey,” said Jay. “Can I come in?”

Adam couldn’t speak around the lump in his throat, so he nodded, stepped aside and let Jay step into this fake home, let him take part in this weird as fuck night with him. He kept his back to him a little longer than he needed to, taking extra care and extra time to close and lock the door again, willing his steady breaths to help him look at Jay without simply breaking. Jay had that effect on him sometimes, that sense that it was okay to fall apart with him there to hold onto.

He turned slowly, watched Jay glancing around the apartment, the way Adam knew it looked worse at night, in the low light. And he grimaced with that, something like embarrassment bleeding bright in his chest, as if this place was actually his, as if this was the space he’d chosen, as if anything in this place represented anything true about Adam. He bit his tongue as hard as he could stand, holding back the apology Jay wasn’t owed, hadn’t asked for.

“Hope it’s okay that I’m here,” said Jay, carrying on without awaiting a response. “I was worried. Still am, actually.”

“About me?” Adam asked, and the look Jay settled on him was tired and almost disappointed, disappointed that Adam would even try to feign surprise. Adam sighed. “Okay. Okay.”

Jay’s turn to heave a sigh then, hands pushed into the pockets of his jacket, gaze firm and even and a little sad as he simply watched Adam.

“Adam,” he started, and Adam wondered if the crack in his voice was coincidence or pain. Either way, he hated the way his name sounded in Jay’s hurting tone. “Are you okay? What’s going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me?” Adam echoed. “Gee, man, let’s see. How about, I was held at gunpoint and forced to fucking overdose. What’s going on with you?”

“I’m worried my friend isn’t coping well with a traumatic experience.”

Such a simple response, sharp enough to cut, and Adam fell silent. He couldn’t look at Jay anymore, let his gaze drop to the sticky floor.

“Is that what we are?” He mumbled. “Friends?”

“Someone I love,” Jay shrugged, and Adam met his eye once more. “But yeah. Friends, too.”

“Kim’s shutting me out,” Adam said. “I’m trying, you know. For Mack. I just…One minute she’s my daughter, and everything’s great, not awkward at all. And then I’m some guy who rolls in for dinner with his ex an hour late and Mack’s already sleeping, and Kim’s telling me she told me about the new schedule when I swear she didn’t, and—“

“Babe,” said Jay, taking a step towards him, raising his hands as if to soothe him. “It’s okay, you’re—“

“And then I’m in some warehouse,” he went on, alight with the force of his own words, “with someone else’s life depending on me snorting the same dope that killed a kid like two days ago. And I’m lying there—dying, okay? And I’m thinking. About Mack, and you, and Hailey, about trying to make things at least kinda right with Kim, so Mack doesn’t have our exes drama to deal with, and—“

“Shh, hey,” said Jay, one hand on Adam’s chest then, the other on his good shoulder, and it was only then Adam realised how panicked he felt, how every breath was ragged and strained, how his brow was damp with sweat, his eyes wet with tears yet to fall, chest heaving even under Jay’s steadying touch. “You’re gonna be okay. It’ll take time, but you’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you.”

Before Adam realised it, he was pulling Jay closer with his good arm, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Jay held him tight, the kind of embrace he could live in, warm and firm and, most of all, safe. The tears spilled then, over his cheeks, onto Jay’s skin. Adam pulled back, wiped his eyes.

“Aw man,” he breathed, ignoring the blurred sight in the corner of his eye, of Jay wiping gently at the wetness on his neck, drying it with his sleeve. Adam breathed out then, a trembling thing, and when he met Jay’s eyes again, it was like something had broken in the air, made it easier to breathe. Maybe it was Jay, or the fact that Adam had gotten the words out at last. Maybe it was both of them.

“You coming home?” Jay asked, head tilted a little, still watching Adam like he’d shatter if Jay took his eyes off him. Adam shook his head.

“No, man,” he said. “I—I can’t. Not tonight. Gotta get my head straight.”

“Here?” Jay asked, expression twisting, not with judgement so much as worry. Adam shrugged one shoulder. He struggled, a moment, for the words, for an explanation that would satisfy Jay.

“Yeah,” he said. In the end, it was all he could say.

“Okay,” Jay replied, and for a moment Adam thought he’d leave, thought he’d shift into motion and pull that creaking door open, slip back out into the night and leave Adam here. He wouldn’t blame him if he did, he wouldn’t have called after him, or begged, or even whispered for him to stay.

But he did.

Jay turned away, cleared the apartment in barely four steps, and dropped onto the couch. Adam blinked, and Jay shrugged, blue eyes so watchful. There weren’t many people who knew Adam as well as Jay. Kim had known him that way once, but he was different now—they both were. If anything, the last few days had only solidified that knowledge. He shared a job with Kim, and a daughter, and a history that was as joyous as it was painful. He shared a bed with Jay, and Hailey, shared a life with them that he’d long ago stopped trying to explain, that he didn’t feel the need to justify to anyone anymore. They were just, them. They loved each other, all three of them. It wasn’t always easy, but that part was simple.

Adam followed Jay to the couch. Jay had realised he was sitting on the sling Adam had discarded, was shifting to move it, to pull it off the seat and place it carefully on the arm of the couch instead, ready for the morning. Adam watched this simple moment and felt the stirring of warmth in his chest, like even when things sucked, and everything was hard, it could all boil down to watching one of his partners just, exist. When Adam reached him, he stooped down, pressed a kiss to Jay’s temple before joining him on the couch. He lay down, legs dangling over the other arm, head in Jay’s lap, looking briefly up at him, then looking off to the side.

It took barely a moment for Jay’s fingers to go to Adam’s hair, to move through the disheveled mess of it, repetitive movements that soothed him. The longer they sat there like that, the easier the world seemed, everything tempered by Jay’s fingers brushing circles against his scalp.

“Thanks for stopping by,” Adam said, and Jay let out a small breath of a laugh.

“Yeah,” he said, and they stayed there like that in silence, just letting the night grow deeper around them. Adam closed his eyes, tiredness setting in, safe enough to succumb to it with Jay here like this. He lay there like that, eyes closed, so focussed on the sound of Jay’s breathing that he noticed when it changed, when the fingers in his hair went still, when Jay fell asleep like that, sitting up on the couch with Adam’s head in his lap. Adam smiled then, a small stolen thing in the night. He didn’t really know how he’d get past this. A department counsellor, a lot of long walks, as much honesty as he could manage with all the people he wanted to share his life with in one way or another. With Jay and Hailey, with Kim. He pulled in a breath, so deep it dislodged something in him, pushed past the dregs of fear and worry in his mind, and with Jay’s breathing slow and deep beside his own, Adam finally fell asleep.

[hyucksong]

nct dream as roommates

a/n: *romantically calls you bro* 

lee mark 

the roommate that walked in on you taking a shower on the first night you moved in and avoided you for a week afterward

he even went as far as browsing different apartments to live in because baby boy was too afraid to face you

sometimes wakes up before you and he always prepares your coffee or tea and sets it by your bed for you when you wake up…sometimes sits on the edge of your bed to watch you

asks you to do his laundry because he doesn’t know how to separate the colors

you’re fine with doing them because he tries his absolute bestest with everything else, and it’s so cute

the first time he did the laundry you were sick…and you got a whole new wardrobe of pink clothing the next day

always does the dishes and you do the laundry…he’ll clean the living room and kitchen if you clean the bathrooms…he’ll go grocery shopping…only if you go with him

asks you to do his hair when he meets up with his friends, and if you say no he says “okay” and then pouts until you agree

you really like photography but hiring models is expensive so you always ask mark to model for you

and he always agrees, blushing while doing so

make-up artists are expensive too, so you also get him dressed up and add whatever you want to his face

(once you did a fairy photoshoot and he had freckles and pink cheeks and your heart did the thing) 

this time you need him to sit still for hours because it's supposedly a big photoshoot with a few other photographers coming too, so there’s a lot of looks to get through 

you do the first look before you get to the photo site to save time

he thinks nothing of you curling his hair until he looks up at you and time slows as his heart stops…

because you smell like vanilla and your nose is scrunched in concentration…because your breathing is heavy as you run to the bathroom to get more things before you’re late…

because you’re biting your lip while looking at him, admiring your own work, proud of the way the make-up came out, but a little disheartened because it looked like you put a little too much blush (even though you only put a little) 

and mark thinks,,, oh no

fuck

huang renjun

your best friend since you were a child

you’re used to ‘living with him’ because you practically lived with him as a kid; you were always at his house spending the night or vice versa 

he wakes you up an hour after he gets up because ‘he needs his peaceful time’

claims that ‘you’re the worst person to live with’ but refuses to look for another apartment because ‘no one else can handle you but me’

(in reality, he knows that there will never be anyone else he’ss comfortable with as you) 

he wakes you up by throwing a pillow in your face and or flopping on your bed next to you and bouncing a few times

once got really scared because you weren’t waking up no matter what he did, and when he started to tear up you opened your eyes and pushed him off the bed 

you just didn’t want to be woken up that day and tried to ignore him, but apparently, you ignored him for too long because he genuinely freaking out on the inside

he’s watched ‘what’s eating gilbert grape’ okay he was SCARED

he didn’t talk to you for three days after that....only started to wake you up again because you made the effort to wake up before him and make him breakfast in bed with hot tea

he expected you to leave his room after you gave it to him, but you just looked at him for a minute before sitting on the bed next to him, getting under the covers with him 

he focused on the fact you were taking up all the space instead of the now-familiar thrum of his heartbreak against his ribcage

(he’s felt it for the past fewyears, he’s gotten used to drowning it out) 

“y/nnnnnnn what are you doingggggg”

“shut up i made the breakfast, can’t i at least sit next to my favorite boy?”

...he’s your favorite boy?...okaythatwasreallycutebuthe’llneveradmitit

“o...kay...”

blushes when you lay your head on his shoulder in bed, watching whatever he’s doing on his phone, because your cheek is warm against his shirt and its bleeding through onto his skin and weiowioegfhowieh

but also yells at you when you take a bite of his toast and bolt out of the room, giggling

“yAH y/N”

lee jeno

the roommate that was awkward for the first month because he didn’t really want to room with a girl because then he can’t spend saturday with the boys 

then he brought them home one day without telling you and was expected to get his ass Whopped but you were drinking vodka and crying while watching Cars so

yeah you were the perfect roommate for him

you drink together

saturday may be for the boys but sunday is for drinking your problems away with your roommate 

can’t cook but will make BOMB desserts for you both every friday...also fridays are pizza nights and you both order a large cheese pizza with ranch on the side and a pint of dr.pepper

yall have the same diet but he has a six-pack and you don’t so you call bullshit on health and everything it is

both of you fall asleep on the couch all the time, TV still playing the game soundtrack with the controllers on the floor, blinking from low battery

jeno alwayswakes up before you, and he doesn’t admit it, but he loves to watch you sleep

you just look so...ethereal 

even with the drool

ANYWAY

you are one of the bros...he’s even taken a shit when you took a shower before -- that’s how close you are 

then one day you get dressed up real pretty and he’s making fun of you, laughing “you never look this nice who’s holding you at gunpoint”

“i’m going on a date jeno hop off my DICK”

“,,,what”

immediately felt defensive and was questioing who could like you and why you were going on a saturday night when it was busy on the streets and also please call the guy and cancel the date because he wants to watch toy story with you and eat pasta why are you going out with someone has he met him why haven’t you told jeno about this guy you know what you should just not go

and it’s when you walk out the door rolling your eyes, promising to be back home before 9pm with a cute shirt on and nice perfume on when jeno realizes 

that damn he hates to see you leave,,,but he loves to watch you go

(and he might have the teeniest, weeniest crush on you) 

lee donghyuck

the type to never clean the dishes and always makes you do them even if he cooks because he hates the feeling of wet food

then one day he sees you v e r y stressed over school work and he just...cleans the whole house

you come back from the library and you’re like,,,the fuck where’s haechan and what have you done with him

in turn, you buy him a headset that he’s been wanting for the past year...and you think he’s about to propose to you after you give them to him

but in all reality he’s just so happy that you even remembered something so trivial...like he talking about them once (1) and you remembered?

...cute bitch

he’s a big prankster, but in an endearing way, so whenever he goes too far you never really stay mad because he’s just a little unaware of the anger his pranks cause

plus you always get back at him 

always :)

you both are basically the same people; you’re passionate about your studies and he’s passionate about gaming and dancing

yall are the bad bitches that no one messes with 

BET that yall wear matching fits whenever you two go out together

you get together to watch his favorite youtubers do let’s plays of popular games

one day yall sit down to watch some outlast 2

and boy

did you underestimate the scare factor

so now you’re three episodes deep into the let’s play and your head is buried in haechans stomach because you’re laying down facing away from the TV, clinging to the poor boy

he doesn’t know if his heart is beating so fast because of the jumpscare or because of the way you look up at him when you ask if the scary part is over yet

he doesn’t like seeing you scared with tears in your eyes...but the way you’re clinging to him makes him want to watch a thousand more scary episodes...

...if it means you’ll cuddle with him

na jaemin

the best roommate you could ever ask for

he loves to clean and cook, not to mention he’s an absolute sweetheart!!!!!!!

you started to live with him because you had posted an ad on a website for a roommate and he sent back a reply

but the texts used so many of (=｀ω´=) these emojis you just assumed it was a girl

he was not

every night before you go to bed, he’ll walk into your room and whisper “good night, sleep well” to you before petting you head and walking out

people always wonder if you’re dating, but you always reply that it’s just the way he is

until one night you invite your (asshole) project partner to your apartment and she flirts with him endLESSLY,,, not doing her work or anything, just talking with jaems

like it’s pissing you off, and you think it’s pissing him off, and you’re about to send her home when you notice the storm outside and you realize,,,, you’re too good of a person to do that

so she sleeps on the couch, and you do the same, just so you can keep an eye on her and so that she isn’t left alone with jaemin at any point (poor boy looked like he’s about to combust if she tries to talk to him again) 

and jaemin does his usual routine even with the extra company, stroking your head and even going as far as to place a kiss on your forehead

“what about me, do I get a kiss” the girl annoyingly asked

“no, you’re not yn” and hE WALKS AWAY AND CLOSES THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM 

there’s silence in your head as you process his words, a little shocked and confused as to what he means, but most of all, your thoughts consist of;

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

you might have just fallen for him (let’s face it, you’ve been in love with him (just not as long as he’d been in love with you)) 

zhong chenle

not going to lie, you two did NOT get along in the beginning

you were each other’s first roommates, and you knew he was extroverted, but you underestimated the differences between your personalities

like,,, no please don’t invite the dreamies over again for the eighth time this week I can’t focus on homework with all the screaming

but even with all the head-butting, the chores are split evenly because he’s practicing to ‘be marriage material for his future wife’

you don’t care as long as he just does what he’s supposed to, and you two aren’t exactly the closest

but there are times when you connect, like on lazy Sunday afternoons where you both just relax on the couch...anywaY

and he always rolls his eyes, telling you that ‘you need to stop being a hermit and make some friends’

‘get some confidence’

‘why don’t you put any effort into how you dress’

it hurts a little...you know you’re not the prettiest and you don’t really try anyway

but to have it pointed out to you just...stings

and after a guy rejects you (after you built up courage for a whole years to confess to him) your confidence is at an all-time low (he said no because ‘you were too bland’ like wtf fUCk you)

and you’re just crying and eating spaghetti o’s, telling chenle as oon as you walk into the door that you’re ‘too sensitive for his bullshit today’ 

to which chenle doesn’t care... then he sees your puffy eyes and asks wha happens

you tell him, and he just gets...angry

(and jealous?)

he goes on a tangent, mocking the guy, saying that ‘you’re the most doen-to-earth natural beauty’ he’s ever seen and that ‘any guy who doesn’t fall in love with your cute sarcastic personality’ is dumber than a rock

he grumbles for the rest of the night, sitting and watching movies with you; it makes your heart swell that he’s getting so mad for you

and at the end of the mini-movie night, and he strokes your hair saying  that you’re ‘his little introvert’,

you decide that ‘opposite attract’ is 100% true

(and chenle notices that you have very pretty lips)

park jisung

you two are dorm roommates at a dance school, and y’all are so cute all the teachers LOVE you

like you both just spend so much time together it’s ridiculous

yall walk to class together, then from class to class together, eat lunch together, after school activities, walk back to the dorms, meet each other’s friends, go out on the weekends together...everything

it feels weird to not be with him

(the teachers have a bet that you’ll be dating before your senior year)

the dorm is just a studio apartment with two bedrooms (your parents both pay a lot for space) 

so chores aren’t too hard, in fact, you both usually spend the last few hours of daylight on Sunday nights straightening up your apartment from the hectic week before, to start off completely fresh and new

nothing big ever happens on Sundays around the home, but one day jisung (who went to hang out with chenle (he invited you but you pouted and said you had too much hmwk)) found a little puppy on the side of the road

and then proceeded to sneak into the dorms with it, hiding it under his shirt

when he showed you what he found, you couldn’t be mad...it was just so cute (both jisung’s little smile and the puppy) 

but you noticed it was shivering, and you whined, ‘jisung you didn’t even notice it was cold oH My GoD, go get it some water and food’ while you set up a nest of blankets for the little guy

hours later when the puppy had eaten and subsequently fallen asleep in your lap, you turned to jisung

‘let’s name it mousie’

‘what that’s dumb’

‘it’s not dumb! i wanna name it that because it looks like you whenever you sleep! it's so cute hehehe’

you thought jisung was WHAT when he slept

jisung didn’t talk for a whole minute, drinking in your words and thinking about them over and over again, in the meantime you were just smiling down at the puppy

your cheeks were red with happiness and your nose was a little red from sneezing (because the puppy was covered in pollen from being outside) and your gaze was filled with such love that jisung shivered

you let out a sigh and plopped your head on his shoulder, and all his feelings he’d ever had for you exploded in his chest, and he tensed (though if you noticed, you didn’t day anything)

you just kept and petting the dog

and damn did jisung want to be that dog

[thedeathdoctor]

Kinktober Day 5: Blood Play

Blood Play - Halloween: Michael Meyers x Reader

Guardian Demon

Tw for Breaking and Entering, Being held at gunpoint

It was ten past two in the morning when you pulled your 2003 Altima into the driveway. Fucking Steve. Ever since he had started as manager, your store had been pathetically understaffed. He never stuck around past four and never saw how long closing duties took. It was just you and Allison now, because “we don’t really need three people in here when we don’t get that many customers, anyway”. 

You shoved your work apron into your purse laying on the passenger seat before dragging yourself out of the car. Everything felt heavy, and your keys dangled limply in your hand. A thought resurfaced in your weary head: the pothole you had hit on your way to work because the assholes wouldn’t let you merge over to avoid it. It sounded expensive, but you had managed to get home, so you just gave a quick glance at it. You weren’t much of a car person, and it was dark; you’d look at it again in the morning. 

Leaning against the peeling paint of your side door, you fit the key in the lock, and found it unlocked. What? Maybe you had forgotten to lock up when you rushed to work this afternoon. Henry had called out for the third day in a row, and they had called you to come in earlier to cover for him. You didn’t want to, but you had to. The shitty washer that came with the unit had broken, and your landlord had refused to take care of it because clearly you had misused it in order for that to happen. A contractor had come out to fix it yesterday; the work was expensive,  he unsettled you in a way you couldn’t place, and in the middle of it all Steve called to ask where you were. He seemed to forget how you told him, to his face, three times, “I won’t be in on Wednesday, do not schedule me,” and still his chicken nugget sized brain forgot and expected you to come in. 

You shook your head, trying to clear your mind of the work fuckery from your head like an Etch-a-Sketch. It took up enough real estate in your head as is. 

Snacks. 

You dropped your purse on the mess of mail that covered your kitchen table. It would be sorted later. For now, you took your phone with you and rummaged through the cabinets, finding the box of Goldfish you had bought Monday. You padded into the living room, settling down into the couch. Though you lived alone, you had slept here for the past few nights on account of clutter spread over your bed. Well, it was mostly organized. Monday you had found the least sketchiest laundromat in your fifteen mile radius for the three weeks of laundry built up while you fought with your landlord. After all, there was a finite amount of times you could handle rewearing your work clothes before the thought of having to pay for laundry became begrudgingly tolerable. 

The waist of your pants cut into your waist, and you stripped them off and threw them towards the stairs with a growl. Your bra was next, and soon you were comfortable in your tank top and underwear. It had also been an embarrassing amount of time since you had vacuumed the floor, so your socks stayed on to keep your feet clean. 

“Honey, if you ever need help, I can always come over and clean with you. It’s really no problem for me.” 

Your mom’s voice reappeared in your head, kind and soothing. Truth was, you needed help, but couldn’t bring yourself to accept her offer. It was out of mercy. You didn’t want her to come over and see for herself how you, her precious daughter was really doing. She worried for you enough as is, and anyway, you were doing just fine, no need for her to see the bottles that frequently piled up in the yellow bin next to the door or the refrigerator that didn’t hold much excluding the condiments on the door, or the condition of your bathroom sink. You spared her the worry she would feel if she knew. Anyway, you could handle it, all you needed was another day off to take care of everything, two at max. 

Turning on the tv, you chose a random episode of Criminal Minds to watch to distract your brain. It had been your comfort show since you started watching it in 2011, and it filled the otherwise quiet space of the house. You apathetically ate a handful of Goldfish before folding the box back up and letting it drop on the ground. That wasn’t it. Occasionally, lights drifted across the interior of your house, headlights drifting in from the living room window as the occasional car passed by. 

A loud crash shocked you awake from the doldrums of half-sleep. Your eyes shot open as your heart revved from 0 -100, realizing that the sound came from upstairs. Fuck. There were footsteps now. Scrambling to find your phone to call 911, your heart sunk as the screen flickered to life for just enough time to blink its “low battery” icon at you before giving up. You did have a .357, but one too many nights with the bottle led you to disassemble it as much as you could and shove the pieces into a shoebox at the back of your closet, if only for your mom’s sake. 

You listened with bated breath as the footsteps reached the top of the stairs and began to descend. Every single muscle in your body did not reply, even as your mind screamed for you to run. You were frozen to the couch. 

A man, partially dressed in a dirty work coverall tied around the waist at the bottom of a grimy undershirt strode aggressively over to you. A black ski mask hid his face, but you could see his eye twitch as he raised the Glock in his hand to your face. His voice was strained and rough as he questioned you.

“WHERE ARE THEY??” 

“Where is what?” 

You didn’t have much of value at all, the most expensive thing that you had to your name was the Altima sitting outside and that was only $6,000 when you bought it a few years ago. 

“PILLS, SMARTASS. DON’T LIE TO ME. I SAW THE EMPTY BOTTLES. WHERE DO YOU KEEP THEM?” 

Oh. Truth be told, you didn’t have any left. All you had ever really taken was your Adderall XR and Zoloft. The empty Adderall bottle sat pathetically on your dresser, reminding you of the last time you had been able to afford the copay the pharmacy demanded. As for the Zoloft, well, your psychiatrist would keep refilling it as long as you kept showing up to her regular appointments, and the spontaneity of work had made it damn near impossible to keep an appointment with her. So it had been at least a few days since you had tried to taper off of them yourself. But you were unmedicated and well beyond tired, so you responded rather dumbly. 

“I don’t have any more. They’re gone. Sorry.” 

He didn’t react well to that, gritting his teeth and kicking over a folding chair that left a rather large hole in the drywall. Your fucking landlord would have a field day haranguing you for those damages. 

The side door that you had taken care to lock swung open violently, knocking over the bottles perched on the top of the pile in the recycling bin. Heavy footsteps strode through the kitchen and another man appeared behind the first intruder.

“HEY WHAT THE FUC-”

He was cut off as he was violently disarmed, gun clattering to the floor as a blade slashed through every tendon in his arm. Then, his body flew across the room and crashed head first into the Walmart bookshelf and the few books you had left with a horrific crunch. He was crumpled in a way that no human should ever be, and still the other man kneeled and plunged his knife between his ribs, ventilating his body as you would a frozen microwavable meal. And then slowly, stood up and turned to face you. 

He was impossibly tall, looming over the man who had tried to rob you; like him, he was also dressed in a coverall, bluish grey and relatively cleaner aside from the blood splashed across the front. His head was covered too, by one of those rubbery Halloween costume masks that people wear and pretend to be a serial killer or something. Matthew, or maybe Michael? You glanced over at the mutilated corpse at his feet, and the real, actual knife in his hand, still dripping with blood. You didn’t think he was pretending.

You cowered in the corner of the couch, your knees pulled up as close to your chin as possible, shaking uncontrollably. He walked closer to you, stretching out his free hand, and for some reason beyond your understanding, you took it. Your legs trembled like those of a newborn fawn, but you stayed up, mostly due to his hidden strength. Together, you both made your way over to the dead body, letting you collapse to your knees next to it. He dipped the tip of the knife into the man’s blood and brought it to your face. A scream died in your throat as he grabbed your jaw and steadied you as the blade traced over your forehead and cheekbones, painting you with the blood of his kill. On your stomach, he marked you with a simple “MM”. Michael Meyers. You were his. 

When he was done, he pressed you to the floor on your back and stripped you of your tank top and panties with a few quick flicks of his knife. His hands worked the jumpsuit zipper down as he shed his clothing and towered over you. He stroked his cock lazily, enjoying the look on your face as you realized that he wanted to put it deep in you. You were his and he was going to consummate your partnership, right here, right now.

He spread your legs and kneeled between them. It had been a while since you last had any kind of sexual encounter, but the patch of curls was of no consequence to him. Blood slicked his fingers, and you were surprised how expertly the pad of his thumb found your clit, kneading you to orgasm in spite of the horror you had just witnessed. Perfect.

He teased you, running his fingertips up and down your vulva until your hands urged him to get on with it. That was a mistake. He snapped your hands together and held you firmly by your wrists with his free hand. Punishment for being too impatient. Two fingers found your entrance before suddenly plunging into you as deep as they could. Your gasp satisfied him and he returned his thumb to your clit as his fingers pistoned into you at a punishing pace. 

The second orgasm crashed through your body, your arms weakly trembling against his fierce grip as you screamed out in pleasure. When your eyes returned to him, the submission he saw drove him mad with desire. He gripped your hips so hard, you were sure that you would see bruises in the morning, and slid you onto his cock, hissing softly as he entered you. God, he spread you apart like no one ever had before. 

You weren’t the most petite person in the world, but to him and his strength, you may as well have been. He slammed you against him, your thighs stinging as they met his hips, fucking you as if you were a filthy toy, a cocksleeve for him to use as he wanted, whenever he wanted. He paused for a moment, sliding his hands up under your back and supporting you with his arms as he stood up, still inside you. Your thighs wrapped around his waist, feeling the muscles in his torso and ass flex against you. His hips thrust up into you as he held you up in the air, gravity working alongside his powerful body as he ravaged you. Moans dribbled from your mouth as most of your upper body went limp. The back of your head crashed against the wall, but you didn’t care, your body was flooded in ecstasy as you came over and over, writhing in his arms and twitching helplessly around his cock. His fingernails dragged long, deep scratches along your back that smeared and stained the wall with blood as he pressed you against it, his breaths deep, panting, heavy with lust. 

Time lost all meaning to you as he broke you down to a sopping, quivering mess in his arms. It seemed he was intent on folding you in half and pressing you against the wall before his breaths hitched and pulled you as close as he physically could to him. His hips bucked involuntarily as he came deep into you, filling you with copious spurts of his cum. It took on a pinkish tone as it mixed with the blood from earlier, dripping from where your hips met. You were spent, falling asleep before he had let the both of you fall ever so gently to the floor, letting you rest on top of his chest. 

[capybaraonabicycle]

The Husbands of River Song

In winter, I wrote a Christmas story for River Song/Fugitive Doctor, because that ship is just perfect. But for reasons it ended up being River/Ruth/Lee instead and so I thought:

How about I get invested in a ridiculous rarepair and we start shipping her:

With him:

I think there's some potential. Both are secretive, alien, smart and perceptive, fiercely protective of and deeply in love with the Doctor, ready to sacrifice themselves for them and (probably) very skilled and highly dangerous assassins. Both are also slightly shady and you can't be very sure trusting them is a good idea. Both die when the Doctor (we observe) is in no position to mourn them properly but at some point in their life they will be/were very close to the Doctor and married to them(?). So there are some shared experiences, some similarities.

But they are very different as well. River is stubbornly chipper, flirty, outgoing, still joking at gunpoint. Lee seems more earnest, gruff almost, not very good with people, constantly pessimistic. I think there could be some lovely dynamics there and they could learn from each other.

So I wrote a little something (~5000 words) for them. Have a look if it interests you and come talk to me about the two of them? That'd be great :D

It's called The Husbands of River Song but it doesn't have anything to do with the episode, except that River is being illogically ignorant of who the Doctor is.

So:

Pairing: River Song/Lee Clayton (mostly) and .../Ruth Clayton and River/11 (additionally)

Rating: Mature

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: There are guns and bullet wounds and blood and near death experiences and descriptions of pain. Also people in a marriage lying to each other/not telling the whole truth. Maybe some very light innuendos. Oh, also medical nudity but that's really casual and almost not mentioned at all.

Summary: River gets wounded on a mission. Using a teleport that fuels on wishes she tries to escape to her husband. It doesn't take her where she expected to end up...

Read on ao3

Complete work under the cut

The Husbands of River Song

She did not see the shot coming. Maybe because she was just exhausted – 26 hours of dazzling diplomats followed by half an hour of breaking and entering, 8 hours of hiding in a confined space and two hours of being chased could do that to a girl. Maybe she didn’t see it coming because she was focusing her entire mind on her destination of choice to make sure the teleport would work. Maybe it was just bad luck.

Her reflexes remained impeccable though, and that was enough to make her halt, duck and roll to the side, quick enough such that the hit intended for her heart just collided with her right shoulder at full force. She screamed as pain exploded in the wound – not a very tactical move but she had always been terrible at keeping her voice low – and dropped her weapon. She still managed to roll back onto her feet, staggering up while clutching her shoulder, now a good few feet away from the teleport to safety. Her gaze wandered to her blaster, a bit more than an armlength across the floor and she hesitated just a second too long. Damn those pain responses making her slower: when she tore her gaze away from her beloved gun, one of the Kraal had appeared between her and the teleport. She could hear more of them coming, they had been on her trail for a while now, and there were at least two more to her left and three to her right, one of which had likely landed the shot at her shoulder.

Well, if this wasn’t looking delightful. She was injured, surrounded and her only remaining weapon was a dagger, concealed in her boot. A dagger against a dozen of fireweapons. A dagger she would either have to get (and operate) with her injured arm or she would have to let go of the wound for, both of which did not seem like entirely desirable options.

She had taken stock of all of this in barely milliseconds, not enough for the Kraal to decide whether just shooting her or trying to make her surrender would be the wiser option and definitely not enough time for them to start on their plan. Usually, she would have taken time to throw in a few more mocking remarks, played with them a little to distract them and get her gun back and then made her exit.

But she had their prized medallion inside her pocket, the medallion that did not belong to them and would wreak havoc if they finally managed to open it. She couldn’t risk losing it, even if that increased the risk for herself. And these Kraal had proven to be surprisingly trigger happy and accurate shooters; before the hit to her shoulder their bullets had graced her thrice already. So maybe a quick exit was for the best.

She didn’t waste any more time, hurling herself at the Kraal in her way. They didn’t have time to react, being just toppled over by her force. River could hear the other Kraal gasp in shock and almost allowed herself a smug grin. But then she realized her mistake.

Her plan had been to swiftly roll over the Kraal, using them as leverage to push herself into the teleport and disappear. And it would have worked perfectly if not for that stupid idiot attire they had made her wear for the ceremony and her hand still pressing down on the wound. The attire got tangled up in the Kraal’s uniform and having her left hand between her body and the Kraal and her right hand injured and too far away, she couldn’t get it loose quickly enough.

She was still quicker to rip herself free than any of the other Kraal were to react, but not quicker than the Kraal right in front of her. Their gun had been pressed between their bodies as well and also that had been River’s plan. If she had been quick enough, the gun would have been useless, the Kraal would have only been able to shoot at her once she was safe in the teleport. But slow as she was, the gun was right there, aimed at her belly, ready to shoot.

She heard the shot more than she felt it, saw Kraal’s eyes flash in triumph and understood she had been hit. But she had already pushed herself away towards the teleport. She just had to slide a bit further, roll over, then she would be gone. She had already started the movement, it should not be very hard to finish it, should it?

But somehow everything seemed more difficult now. The air seemed thicker, the gravity higher. River knew she had to focus on her destination now - the ship where she had booked that disgustingly expensive suite – to get the teleport working properly. But all she could focus on was getting her heavy body to comply, forcing her eyes to remain open and giving herself the last push, rolling over on the floor and touching the plate next to the wall where the teleport was hidden.

Her world was already greying on the edges, her breathing seemed to have stopped and maybe even her heartbeat too, when her hands finally found the plate and touched the cold metal.

And she didn’t think of the suite, feeling herself floating away towards unconsciousness, of course she didn’t. She thought of him, like she always did when things got toughest. Her love. Her Doctor.

She wished with everything that was left of her to see him, one last time, just see him again. And then the teleport activated.

It ripped her back into consciousness rather violently, like teleports are meant to do, disarranging her atoms and rearranging them, putting her onto her feet, probably trying to be helpful.

It was dark where she had landed, but River was still perceptible enough to understand that despite the darkness her vision should not have been impaired quite as badly. Her whole body ached, especially her side, her shoulder and her head, but that was just a second thought. First and foremost, she was trying to stay upright, or at least not fall directly onto her face. The world was swimming around her and suddenly she couldn’t tell anymore where was up and where was down.

Well, she seemed to have taken quite a hit, she thought, while she fell over.

Someone had caught her, because the next conscious second, she was in someone’s arms and there was heavy breathing next to her ear. There was also a voice, shouting, then a second voice, shouting as well.

Had she managed to reach the TARDIS? Was this the Doctor who was holding her? Relief flooded her and she tried to murmur his name, or sweetie or love, just something to let him know she was alright. But her tongue wouldn’t quite comply and then the arms left her and she drifted off into darkness.

River woke up because her stomach was hurting. She did not remember where she was, how she got there and what was happening, but someone was touching her stomach and it was hurting and all of her instincts screamed to get them off. She pried her eyes open, while trying to rise up and lift her arms to swat the person away.

Immediately the hands on her stomach disappeared, just to grab her shoulders and push her down. There was a very blurry face in her visor and a voice softly penetrating the burbling of blood in her ears.

“…ver, River! Love, Sweetheart, River! You’ve got to stay calm! I am trying to help.”

That was not the Doctor.

Why had she expected the Doctor anyway?

Suddenly the memories flooded back. The Kraal, being hit, the teleport. Trying to reach her husband. Well, in a way she seemed to have succeeded.

“…Lee” she croaked, closing her eyes and letting herself sink back into the soft surface she was laying on. A bed?

She could hear Lee sigh in relief, then his hands returned to her belly. It hurt. Her stomach, her side, her head, her shoulder. Also, her foot and she could not remember when that had happened. She wanted to touch the spots, prod and find out how bad it was, but she had enough self-restraint left to stay still despite the pain. Well, still-ish. She jumped lightly at every new bolt of pain Lee’s treatment sent through her.

“Wha-re, what’re youdoin?” she managed to loll, trying to force her eyes open and lift her head at least a tiny bit to see what Lee was working with. Her vision was still a bit blurry, but it was gradually getting better.

They were in their bedroom, on the bed. There was an awful lot of red stuff everywhere that she identified as her own blood. Also, quite some instruments, most of them too advanced to have any place in her husband’s home. Lee was pressing one of the devices against her stomach where it was vibrating softly. With his other hand he was tossing an empty can away and then fumbling in a bag. The former content of the jar was spread all over River’s body in small, golden clouds of light, tirelessly working on repairing her. Nanogenes.

“Saving your life” Lee forced out, having found something in the bag and pressing it to River’s lips. “Drink this.”

She swallowed the bitter stuff without complaining and immediately her head felt clearer. It also became impossible to hold it up a second longer, so she let it drop back into the pillow, sighing.

“Thank you” she murmured, quite happy when the words came out understandable albeit softly.

“Don’t thank me yet, I’ve still got to stitch this” Lee muttered. “And if you can’t stay quiet, I will have to knock you out for that. Ruth has already seen too much; can’t have you scream down the house now.”

So, Ruth didn’t know then, apparently. River had been wondering for a while whether their wife was aware of Lee’s likely alienness. She had never given any indication to pick up on Lee’s quirks that had been obvious to River from day one. It had led River to two possible conclusions: Ruth knew everything, was possibly an alien herself, and Lee’s quirks didn’t surprise her. Or she was an unsuspecting human, doing what unsuspecting humans usually did: she ignored the signs.

If Lee was so adamant Ruth didn’t see River’s state or his instruments, then the latter one had to be the case.

“I can stay quiet” River argued, flexing her hands. She was doing a stellar job of that already, she thought. Now that she started feeling like herself again, the pain was steadily increasing as well.

Lee snorted, but it sounded very tense, not like his usual good-natured snort. “Not in a million years.”

“Don’t you have…some sort of painkiller in there?” she asked, trying to gesture to the bag but failing to raise her hand.

“Already gave it to you” he muttered. “Why do you think you’re still conscious?”

“Wouldn’t letting me be unconscious have made this easi-AHH” River tried to argue, being caught off guard when Lee performed the first stitch.

Immediately his hand closed over her mouth, nuzzling her scream. He took his hand away shortly after, reaching for her own and pressing it there.

“Stay quiet” he urged her. “I am serious. I need both hands here, but if you’re too loud, then I don’t care about your condition, I will knock you over the head with something.”

River managed to lift her head again, fueled by pure determination to glower at him. “Don’t got any anesthetics amongst your nanogenes?”

“Quiet” Lee shushed her. “There wasn’t much time when I packed this. Just be glad I did. Now, hand on your mouth.”

Growling she complied, biting into her finger when the next stitch came. She tried to hold still and stay quiet, knowing causing Lee dismay would only make this take longer. Lee was trying to work fast at least, fast and gently, his free hand caressing her side in comfort and his mouth whispering encouragements. It still hurt tremendously. She fisted the duvet in her hand and tried to think of the Doctor or a nice long archaeology dig, anything to keep her distracted.

After what felt like eternity, some of the pain subsided.

“Here, let me see” Lee gently reached for her hand, tutting at seeing the bitten finger. “Idiot. – I mean I am the idiot. Should have given you something to bite onto…”

He opened another can of nanogenes, letting them swarm onto the bitemark and the stitched wound. Then he carefully prodded at her shoulder.

“You heal fast” he remarked.

River tried to shrug and immediately regretted it when a sharp pain shot through her shoulder.

“You’ve got nanogenes that don’t only know humans” she retorted, frowning at how hoarse her voice sounded.

“True” Lee agreed, but very softly and his gaze shot towards the closed door.

“Hang on a second” he said, leaving her side.

River let herself sink into the pillows, her gaze drifting tiredly to the ceiling. She could hear Lee open the door and speak softly – probably to Ruth, but River didn’t pay attention. She was still hurting all over and itching where the healing process had started. She willed her hands to stay away from the wounds, however; the last thing she needed was undoing all of Lee’s work. She did not want to endure another operation, she had by far suffered enough for that stupid medallion already.

The Medallion! Where was it? She hadn’t lost it, had she? It had been in her pocket, but now her robes had been cut through to grant Lee access to her wounds. The clothes were lying torn and tangled all around but mostly under her, not exactly easy to search through. Frantically, River tried to pull something from under herself that mostly resembled the festive robes the Kraal had insisted upon. It was difficult with her weight pressing them down and the bedsheets being glued to the fabric by dried blood stains. River tried to lift her body, but the pain shooting through her made her gasp and sink back down again. Angrily she blinked away the tears, pulling at the fabric with all the strength she could still muster.

She had to get them out! She had to know the medallion was safe! Otherwise, this had all been for naught!

“River, stop it!” Lee came hurrying back to her, gently grabbing her arm. “What are you doing?”

She tried to pull free to continue searching. But Lee just tightened his hold, easily overpowering her in her weakened state. River groaned in frustration but gave in.

“How can I help?” Lee asked when she stopped pulling and frantically looking around and instead raised her eyes to his.

“There was something in my pocket” River said. Worry was still clawing at her insides, and she felt uncharacteristically anxious. Maybe it was due to the shock or the pain or the exhaustion or even the medication Lee had given her. She was happy to notice, however, how her voice sounded rather steady and collected again. “I am trying to check whether it is still there. It is very valuable.”

“Is it a medallion?” Lee asked and River blinked in confusion. Taking that as a confirmation, Lee reached behind him onto the nightstand, revealing the medallion to her. “This fell out when Ruth carried you in.”

He gently opened her hand, placing the medallion inside and closing her fingers around it. “There you go, dear. Didn’t get lost.”

“Thank you” River sighed, pressing the medallion against her chest. “I would have been pissed if I got shot over something and then didn’t even manage to retrieve it.”

“I am still pretty ‘pissed’ you got shot in the first place” Lee commented. He left her side to round the bed, climbed up again and started sorting through his medical kit.

“Oh yeah, darling, me too” River agreed. “If I could stand up, I would walk right back there and give them a piece of my mind. Well, maybe a nice, gloating letter that I got their medallion will have to do.”

“I am angry at you, too” Lee said silently, taking out some salve and bandages from the kit. “Putting yourself in danger just for a piece of jewelry! What were you thinking? What if you hadn’t made it back? What if Ruth hadn’t been outside, finding you? What if I didn’t have an advanced medical kit to save you? You could have died, River!”

“But I haven’t” she smiled, holding the medallion into the feeble light in the room. “And this is much more than a piece of jewelry. Besides, what is life without a little adventure?”

“This isn’t funny” Lee huffed, the hard lines around his mouth in stark contrast to the gentle motions which he applied the salve with. “I’ve got enough on my plate without you playing Lara Croft in real life.”

“Oh, did you know she was based on me?” River asked, raising her head. Again, a sharp pain shot through her, but she ignored it. “Well, very loosely at least. I gave them some pointers here and there not to make her too similar – the husband gets ever so cross when they write stories about us. Can’t begin to imagine what he would think of a video game.”

“I did know that” Lee chuckled. “You told us when we watched the movie. I don’t think you were aware I believed you back then, but I did. Come on now, you need to sit up, I’m afraid.”

He helped her into an upright position and kept her steady while starting to wrap the bandages around her torso.

“I always thought you believed me, honey” River pressed out, grabbing tightly onto his arm to relieve some of the pain. “I’ve suspected you to be an alien for ages. You just never talk about it.”

“I’ve got my reasons” Lee answered simply.

“Well, but now you know I know” River argued. “Maybe it’s time to open up? Come on, dear, I’ll tell you my story, you tell me yours. I mean we’ve been married for years; I think it’s time.”

“Definitely not” Lee said. He was struggling with handling the bandages and holding her at the same time.

“You know, this would be a lot easier if Ruth was here to help” River commented and as expected, he tensed.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Where did you send her anyway?” River asked, observing how he managed to get the bandages tied up in useless knots.

“Out of earshot.”

River grinned. “Perfect, then you can tell me everything now, right?”

“No.” Lee untangled the bandages abrasively, handing her a few to hold out of the way.

“Come on, at least tell me your species” River tried again. “Please! My husband Jack and I, we have this bet going who has had a thing with more different - oh, I just remembered, I brought Jack round one day! So that’s not going to help me win the bet then. Unless I don’t tell Jack that you are the alien in question, that might work…”

“I am not telling you my species so you can win a bet” Lee snorted. “Also, by that logic, couldn’t you just make something up for my species?”

“That wouldn’t be half as exciting, now would it?” River asked. Then she heaved a sigh of relief, when Lee finished the fastening of the bandages and lowered her onto the bed again.

“Please, roll onto your side, love” Lee said “I want to put something around your shoulder, too.”

He helped her roll over, crouching down next to the bed in front of her. He looked concentrated and concerned while he worked, and River felt a sudden and strong additional burst of fondness for her husband. All at once she didn’t feel like teasing anymore.

“So, Ruth knows nothing?” she asked softly. “Nothing at all?”

“Nothing at all” Lee confirmed.

“Why not?” River asked.

He sighed, looking away from her towards the door.

“Come on, Lee, you’ve got to tell me at least that” River insisted. “Or I will be convinced you found a nice human to scam, and I will make sure I tell her every last bit I’ve learnt. She’s your wife! Why would you withhold something like this?”

“Alright” Lee agreed, smiling briefly and tensely at her. “I will tell you the essentials. I think I can do that. Oh my, I will regret this, I know it.”

River did her best to give him an encouraging smile and it seemed to work.

“It’s true, I am not from Earth” Lee said. “I am hiding here. I ran away from…some people. Very unpleasant people. And when they find me – because I am sure they will eventually – it will be very unpleasant for me and everyone they consider a threat. If I tell you – well anything, really – and they find out about it – and they always find out – then you are as dead as I am. I am just trying to keep you both safe, River. I swear. I would never do something to intentionally hurt you or Ruth.”

“You could give us a chance” River argued. “In my experience, people want to know, people want to help. And it hurts them more if you don’t tell them the truth.”

“Not in this case” Lee shook his head. “Not with…them. I need to make sure you and Ruth are safe. And the less you know, the safer you are. I don’t have a choice.”

“Well, I know that feeling all too well, too” River agreed. “But are you sure? Because if you hadn’t been here, then there wouldn’t have been anyone to save me today since Ruth doesn’t know about the alien medical kit.”

“I know” Lee closed his eyes briefly, a pained expression on his face. “And it would feel so good to tell you. But I really, really can’t River. Okay?”

“Alright” she agreed, reaching for his hand. “I trust you to make the right call.”

“You still trust me?” Lee sounded relieved, but then groaned at the excited twinkle in her eyes. “Oh, No.”

“I don’t know” River smirked. “Your origin story sounds a lot like a dangerous criminal’s. The ‘unpleasant people’ you ‘ran away from’. Who tells me you aren’t an escaped convict?”

It was twice as funny to tease him with things she was herself guilty of. Unfortunately, Lee wouldn’t get that particular irony; Stormcage wasn’t something she had told him or Ruth about. Still, he grinned amusedly, brushing a curl from her face.

“You sound like you’d like it if I was dangerous” he commented. “Can it be our lovely professor likes a bad boy?”

River beamed. “Is that confirmation I hear there?”

“No” Lee chuckled, “but I am pretty sure that was the confirmation that I am right about your preferences.”

He fastened the bandage and rolled River onto her back again. Then he hovered above her, his gaze conflicted.

“Can you promise me something?” he asked. “When they come for me – I will let you know as soon as that happens – When they come for me, please just grab Ruth and get her away from here, okay?”

River frowned. “You want us to leave you behind?”

He nodded. “Please, just take her with you, just hide away somewhere. I can’t escape them forever. But maybe, if you are gone, they will leave you alone…maybe I can convince them she was never with me in the first place.”

The last sentence he said almost to himself, trailing of. But then his eyes snapped back to hers. “Can you promise me that, River?”

“Of course, love” she tried a smile. “I will keep her safe, I promise.”

“Thank you” Lee pulled back, straightening up. He rounded the bed to start collecting his supplies.

“And I won’t tell Ruth about you, obviously” River added, watching him work. “And I am sorry for barging in on you like this and raising all those inevitable questions. I swear, that wasn’t the plan.”

“So, there was a plan then, hm?” Lee chuckled.

River thought back to the beautiful room on the cruise ship reserved for her. She should have been sipping champagne and flirting with the bartender right now, not giving her husband the fright of his life.

“There was a plan and a back-up plan” she sighed. “But that stupid teleport didn’t work as intended.”

“Thank the stars it brought you here then” Lee huffed. “At least I could save you – imagine if it had brought you somewhere far off from all civilization.”

“I might have even welcomed that” River murmured. “I would never intentionally come to you with a situation like today.”

“That sounds like this is not the first time your life was threatened on one of your ‘work trips’” Lee commented.

River raised her head in astonishment.

“Does that really surprise you?” she asked, watching how Lee gathered the empty packs of nanogenes. “You have seen my scars, heard my stories…”

“I know” Lee nodded. “And believe them. I just thought…it wouldn’t be just as bad, or that the really dangerous adventures were in your past, or…actually I don’t know what I thought.”

“Well, it isn’t like this, usually” River amended. “At least not for me. Usually, it’s the other ones looking like this, and I get away scot-free. I am not an amateur.”

Lee looked at her thoughtfully, then he shook his head in amusement, closing the medical kit. “Why do I always fancy the reckless ones?”

“It’s called ‘good taste’, love” River smiled. She did fancy the reckless ones, too, didn’t she? Reckless, impossible, mad…

“Where would you go with a situation like today?” Lee asked, but immediately reconsidered before she could answer. “Actually, don’t tell me. It is better if I don’t know too much about you either. I really don’t need to send them onto your trail.”

But it was too late. River had started thinking about the Doctor anyway. And with it came the question that had been lingering around ever since she had falsefully landed in Gloucester. Why hadn’t the teleport brought her to him?

“I tried to reach my husband today” she told Lee, not caring whether he wanted to hear it. “It’s not where I would go if I had the time to plan the best escape with a bullet wound. But there wasn’t any time and the teleport picks up what you desire most and tries to bring you there. And I wished to come to him. It was so clear; I am so sure. It should have worked. But instead, it brought me here. What does that mean?”

She could hear Lee was frowning.

“Maybe you subconsciously wanted to come here because you knew it was safer?” he proposed. “Maybe something in you knew I could help you?”

“No” River shook her head in the pillow. “He could have helped me, too, I know that. But I must have subconsciously wished for you…I don’t remember even thinking of you, but that is how the teleport works. I just always thought – I thought it was him. I still think it is him. That I love him more than anything, that he is my one person, you know? I love many people, I love you and Ruth, of course you know that. But I still think that he is something different, something special. You know that, too, I have told you before. I believe - and I remember - that he is the one person I would think about in the end.”

She felt Lee brushing her hand and gratefully grasped his fingers.

“I have also told you” she continued slowly and softly. “That he does not feel the same way. And I’m not complaining. It would be pointless and wrong and cruel to blame him or ask for more. I just think – it might be, why I ended up here tonight. Because even though I love him more, you and Ruth love me back. And maybe that was what I needed and wished for today. Someone to love me back. But that hurts. Because I believed I didn’t need more from him. And apparently, I do. And I won’t ever get it.”

“I’m sorry, River” Lee murmured. He was running his thumb over her wrist. When River turned her head towards him, he was sitting right next to her on the bed, smiling sadly. “And I can’t comfort you in any way that matters. But Ruth and I do love you and we always will.”

“I know” River sighed. “I love you, too. And thank you again, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it” Lee said, holding up his index finger after short consideration. “Especially not to Ruth.”

“Idiot” River chuckled. “Go on then, get rid of the incriminating medicine and fetch my wife. She must be worried sick, and I could do with a beautiful face to cheer me up.”

“What’s wrong with my face?” Lee complained and River grinned slyly.

“I bet yours is not even real” she guessed, and Lee shook his head to himself.

“No comment” he said. “…especially not –“

“– to Ruth, got it now” River rolled her eyes. “Honestly, I’ve not outed you until now, I will be fine. But I have to say, it has its benefits that we both know now. So, I can use it as a bargain. For example, for times when you still haven’t fetched my wife even though I am lying sick in bed and have asked you very nicely.”

“You’ve not been nice a day in your life, River Song” Lee grumbled, but he stashed the medical kit in the back of his wardrobe. When he saw River raising an eyebrow at the obvious hiding place he glowered. “Shut up.”

“Wasn’t gonna say anything” River lied. “Now, Ruth?”

Lee closed the wardrobe door and suddenly his face became very tender. He returned to her side, brushing a kiss to her cheek.

“I am very glad you came back” he whispered. He then rose quickly, before River could answer. He strode out the room, calling for their wife.

River could hear Ruth’s hurried footsteps coming her way almost immediately. And even though a part of her missed the Doctor more than ever, wishing the teleport had worked and taken her to him, there was another, stronger feeling. The feeling of gratitude. That the universe had sent her these two wonderful people who she could love and who could love her back. The fugitive alien and the human tourist guide in Gloucester. Who had just saved her life. Lee and Ruth Clayton.

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! ❤