#this episode fundamentally changed me as a person btw

[lstatdelioncourt]

9-1-1 | 6.13 MIXED FEELINGS AIRED APRIL 10TH, 2023

[bobellafofella]

Consider this an opportunity to talk Widojest

I am delusional and I will check the tag at least once a day forever

Let's start with what made you start shipping them and literally anything you want to tell me

i think i shipped them literally from the beginning. like from the moment jester said "you need to take a bath" i was just like oh. there's Something here (and also overall c2 e1 is like. one of the best examples of establishing characters ever i fear). and then i felt like a crazy person for the first 25 or so episodes, like oh, i feel like they've got something interesting going on, but i don't ship them or anything (this was a lie btw). and then hupperduk (is that how you spell it?? it's been ages god) happened and i was like UM. YEAH. YEAH I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE I SHIP THEM BAD. and then i think i started reading fanfic and then i started writing fanfic and the rest is history.

i just think that separately they are suchhhhh interesting characters, and together they have SUCH and interesting dynamic. there's the obvious stuff --- like i think they just Get each other, and caleb really listens to jester and has empathy for her in a way that i feel like no one else really did. but i'm obsessed with how they mirror each other in such interesting ways??? they both have chosen names. they both have an intrinsic loneliness. they both have complicated relationships with home. in eiselcross they both lose bodily autonomy to magic. also they both have cute accents.

also, my hot take is that c2 changed fundamentally after covid. like it was just different. there was a different air. and the characters were played slightly differently. ESPECIALLY FJORD. and i swear im not coocoo bananas insane when i say pre-covid wj had an actual chance of being cannon.

anyways THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS ASK. i'll talk wj anytime <33

[axuanmii]

admit you ship incest dude. the cn/jp shippers say its incest. pick up a book and translate it, it says kaeya is adopted. .. and heres a long paragraph about how incest is only between biological families and more disrespect to people who are adopted...

no idea why my inbox didn't give me this notif until now, but now's a better time than any to talk more about this.

i'm chinese. i speak fluent mandarin chinese. i've consulted other native chinese speakers about this, both genshin players and unrelated. i play genshin with chinese audio and english subs specifically to catch and complain about inaccuracies. i'd reveal more information but then i think it'd be trivially easy to doxx me if one knew what they were looking for.

fundamentally, the issue of incest lies in physical reproduction, yet i find adoptive incestuous relationships discomforting all the same. it's why i didn't like or finish go ahead (以家人之名) because i felt that it laid too much into the siblings aspect for romantic relationships to be feasible, and it was super contradictory from the initial general message of the first bittersweet yet wholesome episode.

however, personally, i just don't think kaeya felt like a part of the family until crepus's death and he really reflected on crepus's actions towards him (hangout). and even after beginning to view crepus as a father figure, he wouldn't have so shallowly made the transition for diluc to be his brother by adoption and consequently changed his entire mind about the guy (which you can see with the way he chooses to refer to both men with different terms, one adoptive and familial, one very clearly 'sworn', very consistently throughout the whole game. if that ever changes in chinese, well, at least you can know that i'll make a post about it if i still care about genshin by then.)

the localization team does make plenty of serious mistakes, and it's of my opinion that as a result, it has very clearly skewed character relationships with those mistakes, (cynari and collei, eulamber, some npcs in liyue, sumeru) some from cultural differences, some just from lazy translation overall. there's layers of complexity in how chinese utilizes honorifics and affectionate terms, as well as contextual consideration between fiction and reality, and sometimes i feel like the english localization team just threw it all into google translate and called it a day.

i don't even ship kaeluc that much. i like to call it the secret third thing where they can't get off their asses to talk about anything ever so they exist in an undefined space and to have them return to any semblance of a healthy relationship, platonic, familial, or romantic, would require a novel's length worth of development that hoyoverse will probably never write, and so my brain has made up novels of all three kinds and more.

however, i also don't care about people who do ship kaeluc or treat any other fictional media in an incestuous or otherwise problematic manner, regardless of language or culture. this is because i operate on a "don't like, don't read, don't interact" mindset. it makes being in fandom more fun; you should try it.

my disappointment wasn't aimed at the fact that i think too little people ship kaeluc. it just sucks to see people claim that that's what's wrong with the fandom and spin this evil gross imagery around the ship over a misunderstanding, especially when that's not how i view it. it's also the only thing vehemently regularly repeated ('klcers dni') when there's so many other issues with the game and the fandom.

(off topic but what's the worst thing that'll happen if a kaeluc shipper likes your fan stuff. it's not like they come into your tumblr asks to bother you with an "oh btw you're wrong about how you enjoy this media and this is what's right"-- oh wait that's what's going on here right)

including the fact that people like you purposefully go around searching in the kaeluc tag (which you probably did, because nobody is scrolling that far back in my blog to find this one specific post to complain about) to police and pick fights with people over a stupid issue from 2020/2021. i guess tumblr isn't a safe place to talk about kaeluc either lmao.

and to think i left anon asks on in the hopes that it could be an inbox for anyone who wanted to ask me art questions or just leave something positive and not feel too awkward (where do i get the confidence in thinking anyone would ask my incompetent brain for help lol).

to be fair, it's going to be my fault for continuing to draw attention to this by responding to such an ask instead of just deleting it and moving on but fuck it we ball.

this ended up pretty long but i feel like it would've been too rude to just say "会说中文的干嘛要翻书 :P". probably would've been funnier though and saved me a lot of time. kudos to you if you actually read this and read through everything.

final note:

[the-badger-mole]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well. I saw some of your How I Met Your Mother posts, and that got me a little intrigued, because I watched that show and was stumped by its ending.

Anyways, I wanted to ask you, also inspired by YouTube videos of the show, do you think having that fixed endpoint was wrong? Because some of the videos make it seem that if the show was to end by season 2, then that made ending made sense, but extending it to nine seasons, it would have been better to change the ending. Also, one other thing I found is that even if Ted did show up outside Robin's house as the end, there is no chance of a happy ending there because they never really got those issues that caused them to break-up to be resolved at all. Just because Ted and Robin's respective goals are achieved does not mean the issues probably won't be there.

I would like your thoughts on this.

Having a fixed endpoint for a story is tricky. I'm not saying it should never be done, but up until the last season or 2 of HIMYM, the writing was so well done, so careful to remember plot threads and foreshadowings and running gags that it set up in earlier episodes. They wrote characters and relationships that felt real, and made the audience care, and yet, they couldn't pull off the ending they'd written almost a decade earlier.

I agree with the take that the ending they wrote could only have worked if the show ended in season 2. And it's their own fault. They did far too good a job showing why Ted and Robin didn't work. Then they did too good a job showing why Robin and Barney DID work. I started wanting to see the two of them end up together from the first season (although, I do maintain that Robin being single would've been a great ending for her, too). The one episode that I think should've clued the writers in that their endgame pair didn't work any more was "Baby Talk". Specifically the talk that Robin has with Ted, where he complains that she didn't make him feel needed during their relationship, and then her conversation with Barney where he tells her she didn't make him feel needed during their relationship, and that was awesome. The reason why Ted and Robin ultimately didn't work isn't just because they had a difference of opinion about having kids, or career plans. They were fundamentally incompatible personality-wise. That's not a failing on either of their parts, but it is irreconcilable. In the end of the show Ted has his kids and they're nearly grown, and Robin has been able to travel for her career, but their personalities haven't changed much. Ted still wants a fairytale ending, and Robin is still fiercely independent and doesn't need him (and btw, she isn't even that old. She'll probably still be traveling, which I doubt Ted will appreciate since it'll still mean either giving up his career and proximity to his kids who seem to still be in high school and will need support through college, or staying home and having a long distance relationship with a woman who is probably meeting a lot of interesting and interested people without him. His jealousy issues could NEVER).

Having a set ending can work. I've written fics where I knew exactly how I wanted them to end, so I know it can work. But i also know that sometimes the plot or the characters can develop in ways that make the ending no longer fit the story, and a writer has to be able to be flexible with that, even if it hurts that you don't get the ending you wanted originally. The creators of HIMYM wrote themselves into a box. When the ending didn't fit the story or the characters, they regressed everyone involved in order to make the story fit the ending, and the result was...bad.

[goldenkid]

i'm not done journey's end posting btw because IT ENDED SO CRUSHINGLY but dear GOD they are back. changed. but back. IN FOUR FUCKING DAYS

anyway i love the action music in this two parter it harkens back to me watching it as a kid getting SO HYPED because it was a SEASON FINALE and it all feels so grand and amazing pulling everything together and everyone being in the same room and all the grandstanding with the daleks and the various action bits

AND i think my favourite moment of the whole episode at the end of the stolen earth when sarah-jane hears the daleks saying exterminate and her face goes so horrified and she cries and holds luke and says oh god you're so young...elisabeth sladen's line delivery knocked my socks off there when i was nine years old and it still does today at age twenty one.

and all the little lines and everyone reuniting and TENTOO AND DONNA oh my god, do i have things to say about tentoo and donna. they're like twins they're like the same person they're like the people they were before but worse. they quite literally understand each other like two people have never understood each other before, both of them not-quite-right, a bit too much, painfully intense, slightly newborn. i do quite like rose and tentoo's ending despite it being kind of fundamentally imperfect, but the scene there on the beach with rose looking between the two doctors and the kiss is just lovely. buuut a part of me with no regard for how this never could have actually played out on the TV show wanted to see tentoo and metacrisis donna just being insanely on the same wavelength, knocking around the universe being brilliant. like the normal doctor and donna's relationship except dialed up to eleven because they are parts of each other, patched into each other, elevating each other with that unique cocktail of timelord and human. IT WOULD'VE BEEN COOL. worlds would have been saved. worlds may have burned. between them they would have changed the universe. but sadly it was never meant to be... and that final shot, of ten's face so sad and alone...

anyways. journey's end. helluva ride. fuck me bring on the specials!!!

[hms-no-fun]

where did the inspiration for cat!dave come from. i love it btw, im just curious where it came from

catdave, like a lot of stuff in the gf3 prologue, just sort of happened. it's one of those things where in writing that chapter, jade grabbed a button that did a thing as a way to keep their villain-narrator honeypot from collapsing, and i decided to roll with it. turning dave into a house cat seemed like a fun gag, especially considering awkweet purrmusk and davepeta and all that. karkat picking up catdave with horror and protectiveness was really funny to me, just like NO HE'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU LEAVE MY SPECIAL MAN ALONE. then i thought, wait, what if a cat had time-distortion powers. what if catdave was like, i'm the hottest fucken kitty that ever did strut, i'ma slow down time and make everyone admire me. that joke alone was enough to keep catdave in, and i figured okay, we'll roll with this for a minute and then reverse it at the end and it'll be a funny anecdote. "hey remember that time dave turned into a cat?"

but unfortunately for dave, this is godfeels. i can't ever just do a fun joke about transformation. if we're gonna accept that jade has a button that can turn people into the animal they secretly want to be, that's gotta have CONSEQUENCES. what is this, fucking rick & morty??? there will be no resetting to the status quo at the end of THIS episode thank you very much!

of course by the time i got to publishing that first catdave chapter i'd figured all this out. dave's sort of defined by his repression and embarrassment at himself and his wants. i've imagined him sticking to his "i don't want to be a hero" thing very closely, and with that just kinda chilling with karkat all the time. (oh there's actually a funny pseudo-continuity error related to this-- in gf1 someone mentions what makes dave and karkat such a good couple. i'd imagined then that davekat were absolutely a totally out gay together couple. then the epilogues said actually no they were still too repressed to actually DO anything, and i decided to lean into that because two incredibly gay men no-homoing together for seven years is really funny/tragic to me from a story perspective. and since i decided to make gf2 parallel the epilogues, it seemed appropriate to fold that back in. i think in gf2 this gets papered over with june being surprised that they hadn't kissed yet? but that's def a thing that changed between fics from my perspective lmao)

so it seemed to me that catdave was a minor analogue to trickster mode- an unexpected jump straight to Personal Apotheosis without the journey necessary to give it any meaning. and that quickly mapped onto the problem of out queer people treating obvious eggs like their own Pet Project, pressuring them and pushing their boundaries even when it IS to some extent what they want. so dave keeps his cat ears and tail because he's a closeted furry with Some Gender, but because his friends all thought the transformation was funny and cute the end result was actually pushing him even further back into the closet. and since i knew that we were aiming towards davekat divorce fever anyway, that felt like the *perfect* dramatic intervention on his character. this is the hardest part of building an ensemble cast drama; giving everyone something Clear and Concise to deal with that can stand in for all their problems, so we can cut right to the chase when necessary.

this process is, in microcosm, the fundamental backbone of godfeels. it's about taking deadly seriously the personal and existential ramifications of extraordinarily silly impossible bullshit.

[transmasc-wizard]

im thinking about getting into the magnus archives, so i was wondering if you could give like. idk what i should expect from it/a synopsis? /not forced

i am ltierally ALWAYS willing to talk about the magnus archiges

SO

the magnus archives is a fiction horror podcast written by jonny sims, about the Archivist, jonathan sims. no they are not supposed to be the same person, jonny is just shit at character naming. there's like 4 michaels alone (michael shelley / michael distortion / mikaele / mike). btw if i say "jonny" i am refering to the writer, if i say jon/jonathan i am refering to the character

so, Jon works for the Magnus Institute, London, an institution dedicated to documenting and investigating paranormal experiences. he used to work in the research department, but after the passing of the former Head Archivist (Gertrude), he found himself suddenly promoted to the archivist job. Now, he reads people's written "statements" (supernatural) so they have audio versions.

each episode contains one statement + jon's thoughts on it at the end. in this way, it is an anthology horror series; each episode has a sort of "monster of the week" that is its own disconnected and fully-fledged horror story. BUT!!! BUT!!! it is,,, connected. there is a Grander Plot. as it goes on, connections start to be made between the statements, with several developing plotlines and b-plots, and supernatural happenings even start to go on in the institute itself. it is REALLY thought out; my relisten has me finding tiny connected details in almost every episode.

TMA has to be listened to in order, from episode 1-200; i say that because i was told it doesn't and almost started with ep 187 (every day i mentally thank the person who told me NO NO START WITH #1 AND GO IN ORDER. every day). additionally, each episode, or "MAG", is about 20 minutes long, and TMA is split into five 40-episode seasons.

some various stuff: it's queer! jon is ace & bi and its not a big deal bc, you know, he's busy with The Horrors. several other characters are queer as well. speaking of characters, they're great; you get quite attached to both the main ones (Jon, Martin, Tim, Melanie, etc) and several side ones (Sasha, Gerry, Michael, Helen, etc).

a note: the TMA creators care a lot about being respectful to marginalized groups and when handling careful topics, but they fucked up sometimes. in particular, early "spiral statements" (stories abt lies, confusion, and the human mind) sometimes lean into the "ooh scary hallucinations" thing in season 1. as it goes on, it does get better (changing the focus to things such as "it's horrifying not to be believed about your struggle with mental illness"), but it is worth warning about, imo. (There's about... 2? i can think of? that specifically give me pause.)

a second note: TMA is very much horror, if it wasn't already obvious. It deals with things like cannibalism, insect infestation, heavy isolation, skinning, body horror, police brutality, spiders, paranoia, being watched/spied on/Known, etc. It is also a tragedy. With those two things in mind, please remember to take care of yourself, first and foremost, and take breaks/stop if you need to.

third bonus note: my pfp is gerry keay from tma and im love him <3 that is all

tma is really really really good, surprisingly emotional, full of creative horror and compelling stories, and has some AWESOME themes and storylines centering around monstrocity, what it means to be human, abuse of power, and what you can do in a system that fundamentally just wants to hurt you, and i 100% recommend it if you want to try it out!!

the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/Content_Warnings <- trigger & content warnings, broken up per episode

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #1 - Anglerfish - Horror Fiction Podcast - YouTube <- episode one!

have fun & stay spoooooooky :D

[swaps55]

Hi hi helloooo do you have more of this multiverse AU??? I read your snippet and loved it and I desperately need more! I love your work btw thanks for writing and sharing with us ❤️❤️❤️

I DO. Thank you so much!!!!!!

I've scribbled a fair amount for it, but like I said in the other snippet, I'm struggling mightily with what this story is and how to shape it. I know fundamentally what I want from it, but there are a lot of roadblocks. Right now I have a beginning, a few haphazard scenes with no context, some very vague ideas, and...profit????

One of my big hangups with it is whether or not I should break my golden rule and tell parts of it from Sam's POV, because this is a very different Sam, while still being Sam, if that makes any sense. And a chunk of what I have in mind would work really well from Sam's POV, and lose a little something if I don't use it. BUT. It's so important to me to not use his POV, which leaves me very conflicted.

ANYWAY, the general idea got sparked by a conversation the 'Yang crew has about the multiverse. One of my favorite ST:TNG episodes is Parallels, in which a ton of Enterprises from different multiverses wind up in the same universe - including one in which the Borg are winning, and one in which a Will Riker who failed to save Picard from the Borg gets to see him alive and well in another reality. So I did some what if thinking. What if Sam doesn't get resurrected by Lazarus? What if the reapers are winning? And what if a Sam from another universe - who never met Kaidan because there wasn't a Kaidan for him to meet - magics the Kaidan who never got him back into his universe, in which the reapers haven't made themselves known yet?

It sounded like a REALLY fun character study of Sam - what makes him Sam - and what changes about him when you change the major events of his life that shape him? While also being an opportunity to flip the script, and make Kaidan the enigmatic, closed off person that Sam has to figure out. With the underlying very sappy theme, "There was a universe in which Sam didn't have Kaidan, and one where Kaidan didn't have Sam, so the universe fixed it."

I am sure that is way more than what you wanted to know, so as a thanks for putting up with it, here's the snippet you requested:

~

Karin Chakwas lets out a shaky breath as the biofeeds stabilize and the patient’s breathing returns to normal. She takes a moment to let her own breathing return to normal. She glances over her shoulder at Sam, who still sits in his chair, staring at the hand now lying limp and loose under his.

It’s almost reassuring to know she isn’t the only one having a time of it.  

“Sam Shepard, I told you it was only a matter of time before I regretted the day you showed up in my clinic.”

“You did.” He tears his eyes away and slips his hand free, offering her a wan smile. “For what it’s worth…thank you. Hate to think about what would have happened if I brought him somewhere else.”

She worries her lip. You may still find out if we’re not careful. For years she’s turned a blind eye to the veritable parade of mishaps he’s brought through her clinic without asking why – the less she knows the better – but the ID on the genetic scanner won’t give her the luxury of feigned ignorance.

As it is, the fact she hasn’t already contacted the Alliance is going to put her in an uncomfortable position once they find out. But there are reasons you take leaps of faith, and one of those reasons is sitting in that chair.  

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” she says brightly. “I’ve listed him as a John Doe in the system for now, but it won’t be long before C-Sec starts asking questions.”

“And they won’t like the answers.” He rubs his nose with his hands, then props his chin on his fingertips. “I’ll get Garrus on it to buy us some time.”

A smile curves her lips. “Eventually, you may find Garrus’ limits when it comes to bending the rules.”

“Doubtful. And it sure as hell isn’t going to be today.”

“Sam,” she asks, because she has to. This time, she has to. “There have been no reports of weapons fire on the Presidium today. How—”

He smiles wryly. “How did someone who’s been dead over fifteen years wind up in your clinic with a bullet hole in his gut, ranting about the end of the world?”

“Well. I would have put it more delicately, but…yes.”

[jasper-unofficial]

So glad to see you back! 😊 Ngl, I got a bit worried when you barely posted on here but I didn't want to pry. 😅 I'm happy to see you're well, though. x3

Tbh I sent that ask very soon after finishing the episode and as I've thought about it more since, some of my initial thoughts have changed. For example, I forgot that in the previous preview we saw Sean in what looked like the "Are you ok?" scene saying to White "You have a sibling," and that wasn't in the episode, so now I think we'll see that in ep 10 as a flashback (meaning White may have actually confessed the truth there after all, we just didn't see it yet).

Also, I saw your answer about Gram and just wanted to say that I'm still on the gramblack train (yes, I'm THAT delulu). I know literally everything in these past few episodes screams "gram is in love with eugene" but I keep convincing myself it's just a deliberate misdirect in order to make the gramblack reveal more "shocking" for the audience. If I'm a 🤡 then so be it. I can keep dreaming until Gram explicitly states who he likes. 🙃

Btw, what do you think of the theory that Dan will turn out to be a mole and betray the gang? (My opinion on that is that it makes zero sense and I can elaborate on the why, but I want to hear your answer first.)

One person that's very sus to me, though, is Black and White's mom. I wouldn't be surprised if she's revealed as another "villain" (because lbr, no one was surprised about Todd lol).

awwww it's very sweet of you to worry!! i will be fine eventually, and i am back now, so that's good!

white confessing but us not knowing yet is such an interesting move omg!! maybe!

and listen, you are not a clown for believing that gramblack is still happening. grameugene is just my current take and gods know i have been wrong before. i might make a big post analyzing everything and explaining my pov but all i can say rn is gramblack wouldn't be much of a reveal because white pushed the idea of gram liking black episodes ago when he found the note from the figurines, so i'd say we have been directed into gramblack this entire time more than anywhere else, and grameugene is the shocker here. so 🤷‍♂️

as for the theory about dan being a mole, it's unlikely. dan seems to have been drawing his art for a while, unar is basically an anonymous icon now, and namo said lots of people have tried to find him and failed. so the whole unar thing really doesn't fit into the narrative of dan being a traitor. not to mention all the vulnerability and confessions - if he was a plant meant to integrate the group, he would act as the most goody two shoes cop ever that has never even hurt a fly, certainly not a cop that literally murdered a person on duty.

the mom is super sus to me as well. as much as i am not the biggest fan of black, there is definitely a good reason why he cut ties with her. and as someone whose father is a fascist, i can absolutely see fundamental ideological and ethical differences driving a wedge between them and black deciding to cut her off because of it.

[katsidhe]

could you do 9.10 and 9.13 for episode reviews.

Love your takes btw.

9.10 Final Thoughts

well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend season 9. God I love season 9. buckle in. 

Plenty of what season 9 tries to do with angel drama falls flat, but plenty of it doesn’t. It’s at its strongest when interrogating the ways that the angels are looking for personal purpose, rather than folding themselves into various suit-clad factions. In this episode, we have Gadreel, Abner, and Thaddeus, all with very different takes.

Thaddeus is the most boring of the three—a straightforward narcissist and sadist. (Lucifer will follow in his rockstar-impersonating footsteps in s12. SPN clearly has a dim view of the music industry.) We don’t care when he dies, and we aren’t meant to.

Abner’s found a family, and he’s let go of revenge. He’s clearly found peace and happiness—but it’s stolen.  I’m ambivalent about this. I guess I could take his word that his vessel was abusive and therefore deserves to have been permanently body-snatched, and I guess I could believe him when he says his new family loves him, even though they clearly don’t know what he is or what he’s done. His regard for humanity as something other than a project is… uncertain. Even if everything is as sunny as he explains to Gadreel, there is fundamental selfishness and short-sightedness here. Get what you want, Abner says, and never let go.

Gadreel asks Abner if his vessel is happy. This reveals both Abner’s scorn for his vessel, and Gadreel’s uncomfortable awareness of and respect for Sam (and his bartender vessel, who Gadreel stares at, and who accepts Gadreel back easily).

Gadreel! OF COURSE Gadreel’s gotta be the scapegoat for Lucifer’s release, HAHAHAH. I love him to pieces, oml. Seriously, the Sam parallels could not BE more blatant. I’ve talked about this before, that it makes the earned antipathy between them all the more alarming, all the more visceral. The big sticking point is that Gadreel’s years of pointless torture came prior to his “redemption” arc, rather than as a consequence of it. Gadreel has all of s5 Sam’s despair and helpless anger and self-loathing, all of his drive to set things right at any price, and all of it is amplified by his trauma.

Sam and Gadreel’s relationship is defined by its liminal spaces. Gadreel threatens to tear Sam apart, but he does not, even when he is tortured. He locks Sam away in a dream rather than force him to watch him kill, or to suffer. But when Sam forces Gadreel out, Gadreel leaps instantly on telling Sam he is weak, reciting back Sam’s fears and Gadreel’s own. This reads like Gadreel is aiming quite a lot of his own self-pity and self-hatred at Sam.

Cas’s murderous rage at Gadreel when his identity is revealed is fun. It shows that Heaven’s PR team did a good job, for one thing. But Cas is furious because it’s specifically Lucifer. And the Apocalypse, and all the attendant suffering, his and Dean’s and Sam’s. It’s a personal wrath.

“Stupid for the right reasons…” oh, Cas, your scarcity of positive human role models is showing. Also, Cas’s particular brand of reassurance here isn’t actually something Dean has a problem with. He expresses regret over having been tricked—he says he’s stupid, he says he got played—but he’s never in doubt that his intentions were good. He’s never in doubt that he did the righteous thing. He’s never in doubt that he’d do it again.

Dean apologizes to Cas for barring him from the bunker. (Sam will not receive an apology.) Cas compares what Dean did to Sam to what Cas did by trusting Naomi. There’s a key difference here. Cas’s moral compass is not the problem; it’s his critical thinking skills.

Crowley, Cas, and Dean are a hilarious trio. (Also, I really hope that Cas’s pimpmobile got to Heaven too, like the Impala.)

Crowley being genuinely sorry that Kevin’s gone and his willingness to risk his life to help Sam are the best two moments of the generally weak Crowley-has-human-blood plot line. They feel earned. [also Crowley’s ‘I told Kevin he should’ve run!’ is both accurate, funny, and sad.]

Let’s talk 4.21 parallels! I mean, first, the glaringly obvious: Sam locked down to be purged of something supernatural; Sam suffering; Dean unable to bear Sam’s tortured screams; a very atmospheric fan. Dean walking away.

and then, of course, there’s “at least he dies human.” Right off the bat, Dean tells Cas he’s going to kill Gadreel. Cas, concerned, says that this will kill Sam too; Dean, sounding tortured, says he knows. Now, obviously, Dean doesn’t kill Sam. He doesn’t even get particularly close. But it’s really interesting that this is the first thing Dean brings up! He declares unprompted that he’s ready to kill Sam rather than leave him possessed. Which is both a recapitulation of the save-him-or-kill-him mantra, and an ironic twist on the decision Dean made in 9.01. Then, Dean knew Sam would rather die than be possessed, but had him possessed anyway. Now, Dean has decided instead that Sam must die because he is possessed. Obviously Dean’s opinion on the possessing entity has changed in the meantime: Sam’s hasn’t, but Sam’s isn’t what matters. 

Dean reaches new levels of PEAK IRONY when he declares that Cas should possess Sam too. Cas has to actually point out that Dean can’t, in fact, volunteer Sam’s permission. Because apparently Dean had forgotten, lmaooo. Crowley, on the other hand, is happy to oblige. Dean directs Cas to burn Sam’s tattoo off.

The language of this entire scene is so sexual. I mean, it’s Crowley, of course it is, double entendre is his first language. But this theme recurs again and again. Here it is just more pointed than usual. It is queasy.

Gadreel has Sam trapped in a Dean-type happy place—a hunt with ghouls and cheerleaders, no organic produce to be found. And I don’t think it’s because Gadreel doesn’t understand what Sam likes. I think it’s because Gadreel’s aim was for Sam to feel comfortable, not blissful. It smacks of Hallucifer, just a bit—using the verisimilitude of Dean’s louder moods rather than trying to appeal directly to Sam’s contentment, because of his always questionable, always a question, sense of reality. If things were too smooth, too cheerful, Sam might just be suspicious. Sam is easier to trick by proxy. 

The HORROR of this episode for Sam: Gadreel washing someone’s blood off of Sam’s hands. Crowley pushing needles into his brain. Sam’s body and life as a bargaining chip as Gadreel threatens to kill him, and then as Dean threatens to kill him right back. The quiet heartbreak as Sam remembers Kevin’s death, as he realizes the magnitude of Dean’s betrayal. But the worst part of it, I think, is somehow still Sam’s face when Crowley comes to get him in the dream where Gadreel stashed him. How his expression just crumples as Crowley tells him he is trapped in a lie, that his mindscape is once again a prison, that he truly cannot trust his reality. The sheer devastation of this on top of Sam’s history, plus the knowledge that Dean did this—and he pulls himself together and puts his foot on Gadreel’s neck and casts him OUT anyway. Sam Fucking Winchester.

and then the Bridge Scene. The lighting, the staging… it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s one of those scenes where I knew as I was watching it for the first time, seven years ago, that it was going to be something. I held my breath and still hold my breath. I can’t take my eyes off the way that Sam is shaking slightly, the entire time. The way he can barely meet Dean’s eyes but he does it anyway. He SAYS HIS PIECE, says it clearly, says it with an even tone despite what he’s gone through, despite the holes in his head that were healed seconds ago.

I love the gentleness between Sam and Cas here. I love knowing that 9.11 follows this. I love that there is no question that Cas will leave with Dean—he is staying with Sam, to heal and support him, even after he spent this episode mostly reassuring Dean.

Dean does not start this conversation to apologize. He starts out with the intent to DELIBERATELY egg Sam on: “come on, let’s hear it.” It’s an incitement, because Dean wants Sam to act angry, so that Dean can feel more justified in leaving. Sam does not rise to the bait.

Dean has an excuse for every point Sam has: I had no choice, you were dying, it’s not in me, he saved your life. He says, “I did a bad thing with bad consequences and I would 100% do it again, anyway, bye.”

And then the most infuriating thing: Dean is in the wrong, so he tells the person he’s wronged, ugh, I’m just such an awful poisonous person, I’m going to burn for this. It’s so clearly wrong-headed. Intentional or not, it’s such an obvious invitation for Sam to comfort him that it might well have been embossed. If this were in e.g. season 15, or if the crime he’d committed had been less awful, I can easily hear Sam’s reassurance: no, Dean, I promise you’re a good person, we all make mistakes. It is the most toxic way possible to frame a potential apology.

The textual theme of Dean-as-poison (and, for that matter, the consequence of Kevin’s death vs. the initial crime of the possession) is an intentional muddying of the waters: Crowley, Cas, and Dean himself all bring it up in some fashion, linking some fundamental aspect of Dean himself rather than Dean’s choices to Kevin’s death. Crowley is trying to be cutting; Cas is trying to be supportive; Dean is both excusing himself and camouflaging that fact in his exhausting self-loathing. There is a complicated interplay of what the text says about Dean’s guilt and what it condemns; this pattern continues throughout s9, and reaches its apex in the next several episodes. Dean’s love as a condemning feature rather than a redeeming one is one of my favorite things about SPN, and s9 has it in HIGH gear.

But, here, at least, Sam doesn’t rise to this bait either. “Don’t go thinking that’s the problem, ‘cause it’s not.” The problem is obviously, achingly, exhaustingly clear. Sam’s spelled it out in this very conversation: you tricked me. You lied to me. You got me possessed when I was willing to die. But Dean, and a fair portion of the audience, can’t hear it. So he doesn’t. And they don’t, and they pretend that this line is some sort of puzzle! a cliffhanger on a conversation unfinished! when it was the conclusion, not the beginning.

image that is now inextricable from 9.10

[gallavictorious]

I loved Gallavich in 10x08 but struggled quite a bit with them in 10x09 and 10x10 (even if I personally loved the brawl proposal), partly because Mickey's behaviour in regards to Byron makes me cringe so hard, and partly because we don't get a proper explanation for how Ian goes from ”how do you know you love me” to ”and if you let me...  “ and this bugs me.

However, never let it be said that I'm not ready to do whatever interpretative work needs to be done  for my favourite couple to make sense, so here it is:

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Episodes.

(Disclaimer: I'm just now watching season 10 in its entirerty and you guys have been at this for a while. If you've heard it all before, please be patient with a newbie who just really needs to sort through her thoughts and emotions.)

Now, I know that many fans would have preferred Byron to actually like Mickey, and I've seen pre-episode 10x10 takes where people theorized that Byron, rather than list all the ways Mickey sucks would list all the way he soars, thus leading to an eavesdropping Ian's realization that he needs to be with Mickey forever. And while that would have been very sweet in its own way – I am myself very much here for more people appreciating Mickey – I think it would ultimately have been far less realistic, for two reasons: 1, Mickey was never going to treat Byron well, and 2, Ian's reservations about getting married were never rooted in a lack of love for Mickey.

Mickey's cringe-worthy treatment of Byron stems from him trying to perform two different roles at the same time: he strives to be demonstratively affectionate whenever they're in front of Ian, but this reads as fundamentally false becuase this is not how Mickey normally shows affection. But Mickey's usual mode of loving communication is both far less overt than this, and thus less fit for the purpose, but also something he would never allow Byron to experience, because Mickey being loving is largely tied to Mickey allowing himself to be vulnerable, to be open and himself, and since Byron is not someone he trusts, or even respects, that's never going to happen. I'd argue that Mickey chooses Byron exactly because he perceives Byron as ”weak” and so someone he can use for his own means without Byron putting up a fight about it - but at the same time, associating with this ”weakness” actualizes all of Mickey's internalized ideas about strenght, manliness, South Side, etc, which leads him to revert back to his extra special thuggish behaviour in order to continually establish dominance and distance himself from the more effeminate homosexuality Byron represents. So, he treats Byron rather nastily, while at the same time employing conventional means of demonstrating affection whenever Ian's around, which serves both as a means to show oh god, how very very much in love with Byron he is, and as a means to always maintain a distance from Byron himself. Which is actually very realistic, given what we know of Mickey, but makes for a whiplash watching experience, and yes. Cringe.

And I'm pretty sure Mickey isn't even trying to fool Ian here: he doesn't expect Ian to believe that he has suddenly fallen in love with someone else. (So again, the unconvincing declarations of love on Mickey’s part serves a purpose here; they’re unconvincing on purpose, if maybe not alway consciously so.) This is an act calculated to provoke a response, becaue he needs Ian to prove something to him, to fight for him. (This bit, about Mickey needing a grand gesture rather than words have been discussed by many others in more articulate ways, so I'm not going to dwell on that.)

But regardless: everything Ian overhears Byron say is true (well, apart from the dumb bit – but I think Byron can be forgiven for not getting that, becaues I doubt Mickey made any effort at all to put his smarts on display, and our boy sure does act dumb from time to time). So why is hearing Byron say it enough to spur Ian into the grand gesture Mickey is looking for? Sure, we all get really pissed when hear others talk smack about the ones we love, but Ian's reluctance to marry was never rooted in Ian doubting his feelings for Mickey, so realizing that ”oh, I need to beat this one up because he's mean to my man” can hardly be the catalysator here. Actually, I don't think it is the catalysator – it just paves the way for the moment that is.

Bear wih me for a while:

That Mickey believes that it's Ian's feelings for him that waver isn't hard to understand: Ian has left him, multiple times, and considering how hard he went for the ”if we love and trust each other the maybe this decision isn't that hard” I absolutely get that Mickey, when Ian backs out, comes to the conclusion that Ian does not, in fact, love and/or trust him, at least not enough. But Ian does, and he verbally reaffirms that throughout these and the previous episodes. Does his insecurity, then, stem from an uncertainty that Mickey will be able to love him throughout his highs and lows? This is what he tries to tell Mickey when the whole promise rings thing fall apart, and I get that it pisses Mickey off, because hasn't Mickey already demonstrated, again and again, that he will stick by Ian, no matter what? Is Ian really so dense and insecure as not to see that?

I actually think that Ian absolutely knows that Mickey will stand by him through thick and thin, and this scares him because what if he develops into someone that Mickey no longer can love but feels obligated to stay with anyway? Ian hates being helpless; Ian hates being a victi; Ian hates feeling indebted to people because that implies he can't take care of himself, and I think that nothing terrifies him more than being a project, or being someone people stay with because they pity him or worry that he can't take care of himself. The issue here, I think, is that he doesn't trust Mickey to leave.

Why this would would be a bigger problem than it already is if they were married I don't quite get, but marriage typically speaks of a stronger and more formal committment and so is even harder to break up from, maybe? Hm. This part I haven't quite figured out yet.

Anyhow. Ian's problem is that he is scared that Mickey will stick with him even when Mickey really would rather leave, Mickey's problem – apart from him being pretty nasty to Byron – is that he wants a Grand Gesture and Proof of Love from Ian, because just expressions of love doesn’t cut it with him. This, I think, is not the proposal, but the fact that Ian shows up with a fake date. This obvious attempt at making Mickey jealous is enough to prove to Mickey that yeah, this means something to Ian too. Particularly since it comes right at the heels of Mickey experiencing a moment of true fear, when Ian announces his new partner: what if this is real, what if Mickey took things too far, what if he fucked this up? But then he sees Cole (who is, btw, awesome) and he sees Ian's face, and he knows exactly what Ian is up to. I think it was fiona-fififi who noted that they both realize that they'll be going home togheter this evening, even though they also have to go through the movements of a proper reconciliation. I tend to think of this as Mickey knowing they're going to make up, because he's prepared for that now, but Ian doesn't know it, yet. Mickey's just waiting for the opportune moment, and he's probably feeling a bit insecure, too, because how do you make the first move after all this?

But then, when Ian tops the whole thing off by beating up Byron (which Byron really didn't deserve, becaue after what Mickey put him through, he has earned the right to badmouth him – even if he is a coward for not just making Mickey leave), yeah, that's Mickey done for, that was all he needed. When he walks over to the pile of bodies, going ”hey”, that's an overture of peace: at this point, Ian doesn't actually need to propse to win him back. That is already a done deal.

I think Ian knows this too. I actually need Ian to know this too, because otherwise it will forever feel like he agreed to something he really didn't want just to have Mickey back, and this doesn't sit right with him. But then the question remain – why the fuck did he propose? What changed, that he suddenly felt confident enough in Mickey's ability to leave that he felt comfortable formalizing their union?

Maybe it's the simple fact that Mickey did leave. When he felt himself unfairly treated by Ian, he did leave and hooked-up with someone else. Admittedly and obviously in an attempt to get back at Ian, but he stubbornly stuck with it through Ian's various attempts at getting him back. Mickey is utterly in love with and devoted to Ian, but he's no wiltering flower: he will stand up for himself, and if he feels like he's not being treated right, he sure as hell will make certain Ian hears about this. Seeing Mickey standing there over him, returned only now that Ian has satisifed his need for proof of love, I think this is what Ian finally gets. This, in combination with feeling on a very deep and visceral level that he never wants Mickey to walk away and have to return again, is what prompts the proposal.

And hey - maybe he's still not completely sure about this whole getting married business, but he is sure about Mickey, so he's prepared to take the leap. Mickey may be rough in a lot of ways, but he's perfect for Ian in a way that no one else has ever been, and that's worth taking a chance on.

Anyway, this is what I think I think at the moment. Maybe I'll think something else in a while? Do you have thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

TL;DR Everything that happened in 10x09 and 10x10 actually makes sense and are in character, but should I really have to work this hard to get that?

[shihalyfie]

Do you think that Taichi, Sora, Yamato, Jyou, Koshiro, and Mimi were handled well in 02 (that they got rid of their crests, that some only showed up for a few episodes, that they acted like role models, etc.)? Love your blog btw!

Thank you!

I think “handled well” has different potential definitions that we’d have to define first. In terms of the excuses they used to conveniently nerf the older Adventure kids, I feel like they definitely could have come up with some better excuses than the Crest depowering that was revealed only halfway into 02. I think the Dark Towers were actually a decent move (it’s just an extended and more threatening version of the Love Serenade in Adventure itself), but the Crest thing definitely reeked a bit of last-minute excuse. But fundamentally I don’t think the nerfing is the problem -- the Adventure kids got, uh, kind of ludicrously powerful at the end of their series, so it makes sense that some kind of nerfing would probably be necessitated to establish why they can’t just steamroll over any problem that comes up now, and so my complaint is just “I wish you’d spent a bit more time/foreshadowing establishing an excuse like this instead of just rushing the explanation in without warning”.

As far as whether they Adventure kids were “handled well” in terms of respect given to their characters, I think they were handled about as well as you can ask for given the nature of what 02 was as a series.

02 is a sequel that, from the very beginning, was a story about a new cast, so that they wouldn’t have to rehash territory with the original Adventure kids and be redundant or backpedal, and so the writers had no obligation to include the Adventure kids in a plurality of episodes. This goes not just for 02, but for any sequel that changes casts. It’s just how things work -- a story is based on the viewpoint of the characters it focuses on, and that means said viewpoint isn’t obligated to zoom in on an old cast just because they were what the camera used to zoom in on; see stories like Nanoha or Ace Attorney where casts change hands and older characters take on more of a mentor role. This is completely normal and expected in media, and it’s not like 02 was advertising itself as anything to the contrary, nor that the Adventure kids had an unfinished story in their own series or something. So it makes sense that a few years later, they’d use their expertise to help out any juniors who are starting on their own adventure. I understand that Adventure fans probably wanted to see their favorite kids as much as possible, but while it must certainly be a bummer to see less of them (and I won’t deny it!), their appearances should probably be seen more as a bonus, not an obligation.

When it comes to situations like these -- again, something that 02 is absolutely not the first nor the last piece of media to ever do -- I think the question is less about how much screentime the seniors got, and more of how they were treated within the narrative, and if their treatment was with the respect they deserve and in a way that’s true to their character arcs and relationships. (For instance, in the Ace Attorney example above, I’m much less inclined to think too hard about complaints about 4 because “Phoenix isn’t the protagonist” and far more when they’re about “what they did to Phoenix’s character arc”.) Within 02, there was absolutely no point where it was implied that the Adventure kids were viewed with anything but utmost admiration and respect from their juniors. No, seriously, the 02 kids adored their seniors, arguably even more so than the writers necessarily even needed to portray them as, but the kids really just straight up practically pedestal’d them. And when the Adventure kids did show up, they were always helpful and kind and generally true to the character development we’d seen of them in Adventure (I know there are people who would dispute me on this, and I’m not going to claim they don’t have a right to an argument, I just personally think generally everything tracked).

So I think, given the fact that 02 was a sequel that had absolutely no obligation to involve the Adventure kids to the degree they did, they actually did about as well as you could ask for in terms of giving us a refreshing update on their status and also handing them a bunch of really cute adoring juniors who near pretty unequivocally love them. I’m not going to say it’s perfect by any means, and I still gripe about the nerfing mechanic (although, to be honest, even that I can only complain so much because it’s clearly reversed after the events of 02, which means the 02 kids are still outclassed by their seniors anyway), but I feel it’s definitely one of the better ones I’ve seen!

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 2: Too Many Thoughts on The Circle France

I’ve gotten back into watching The Circle France, to perhaps too great a degree. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about it and then I had dreams about it, which can’t be good. Even before last night, I was getting some French dreams in there more generally, which I’m sure is from the show because where else.

I was a little skeptical of it at first. I think part of that was that I was a little burned out, after basically inhaling S1 and S2 of the American version, and part of it was from trying to get into the French specifically. I know enough where I feel like I should listen first and then read, but not so much that I can forgo subtitles. It’s tough, though, a lot more mental work than watching in English. My French is rusty and even at my peak proficiency I never knew that much slang--certainly not the slang of the show, which, uh, probably hadn’t even been invented yet.

And finally the first episodes were dragged down by the presence of les grandmeres, I’m sorry to say. They just weren’t good, either at playing Nicolas specifically or the game generally. I think they bit off more than they could chew. Like, Lee played a younger person in the American version S2 but he didn’t change his gender or his sexuality or even, ultimately, much of his personality--he just aged himself down. And not as far down as Nicolas, either! There’s a big difference between 20 and 28. Les grandmeres were fun as real people but, like many catfish, not as fun in their profile form, and their attempts to be 20 years old while not knowing any slang (or who Harry Potter is) were... a little cringeworthy. I feel bad saying it! But it’s true. I felt like the game opened up a lot after their elimination.

I stopped watching yesterday just when Virginie was setting herself up, so I haven’t seen her interact with anyone else (I prefer not to end on cliffhangers, @ Netflix). It’s weird to think that, assuming a final five like in the American version, there are only 3 more eliminations.

Personally, I’d like to get rid of Paolo and Nelia most. Paolo is awful. He’s so pretentious--21 year old philosophy student??? No. And he’s in his head way too much. Like most 21 year olds, he simultaneously takes the game WAY too seriously (overthinking every little thing like, dude, chill) and thinks he’s way too cool for everything and everyone else. Kick him out. Nelia isn’t quite as bad but like, again, I think les jumeaux take the game way too seriously and their overly emotional responses to everything really stress me out. Like, they take everything as a personal attack on themselves as people, which is just fundamentally not true and decidedly exhausting. I appreciate their shit stirring capabilities but they need to CALM DOWN. They’re not even stirring things up on purpose or for their own fun. They do it accidentally because they’re way too earnest about everything.

They’re both/all in a difficult spot just from how late in the game they entered. It’s very hard to make it to the finals when you’re a new person. Paolo in particular I think will be gone soon, and this isn’t entirely a blind hope. I mean I could very well be wrong but if Ines solidifies her alliance with Gabriel and Nelia, which she seems to have done, and if one person from each team ends up an influencer, it could essentially end up as a stalemate that eliminates Paolo, the only free agent (while Virginie is new). He might not be a free agent by then, but he doesn’t seem the alliance type. Too silly--he’s above it. I certainly wouldn’t trust him very far myself, though it’s sometimes hard to tell and/or remember what the contestants themselves know of each other--since they have interactions I don’t see, because of editing, and I know things they don’t, because of cameras.

If both influencers are from Team Ines, then Romain is gone. He used to be one of my faves, and to some extent he still is, because I appreciate his chaotic energy, but I think he’s been too bold and basically painted the bullseye on his own back. If Ines has the chance to take out anyone from TeamWinner it will be Romain, no question. And she has 3 chances to do it. She doesn’t even need another person from her Team sitting across from her. She just needs the other person to NOT be Elea or Valeria.

I also think that TeamWinner has started to isolate themselves, such that they may have a hard time getting to the top spots. If they’re known to look out for themselves first, no one else will want any of them in positions of power. It’s hard to predict rankings exactly when people are teamed up as they are, but I would be concerned about that if I were them. If the version of the story in which they backstabbed Gary and manipulated Ines into blocking him gets out--that’s basically it.

I’m not sure what to think of that entirely, btw... from what I saw, it did look like Gary was betraying Ines, and some things he said out loud seem to back that up. However, Valeria and Romain absolutely did set him with the express intention of getting rid of him, and even my precious, blameless Elea said in so many words that she was throwing him under the bus for Valeria, so.... I don’t know man, maybe Ines is the only real victim here. She talks a lot but isn’t effective in getting her agenda to play out, as can be seen by the decimation of her original team. Even though Romain and Elea were my faves, and still are to some degree, Ines has a great ‘revenge story’ on her hands, and there is sort of a part of me that wants to see her take down TeamWinner just because they got too cocky and played too dirty. See the underdog vindicate herself, as it were.

I don’t know who I see winning at this point. I think Paolo and Nelia are long-shots, again just because they came in later--Virginie for the same reason, even though I haven’t seen her interact with anyone yet so it’s hard to tell. She could just as easily do just well enough to fly under the radar for three more eliminations and make it to final 5. Too soon to tell. Paolo, because of his lack of alliances, I think will have a hard time. Nelia will need a lot more loyalty and closer connections than she has now, even with a spot on Team Ines. Will it matter that Ines’s other alliance, Gabriel, thinks Nelia is fake? I don’t see a strong connection between them as such--only between each of them and Ines--though that could still change.

Romain, again, I think has a target on his back. He’s becoming known as a Game Player and Game Players, like Antonio (USA S1) and Cedric, are prime targets for elimination. 

Valeria... it’s hard to tell. At the point where I am, he’s basically the most skilled subtle game player since... probably Trevor/DeLeesa. But way, way sneakier. DeLeesa was partly playing under the radar. Valeria is a purposeful puppet master. He’s managed to become le cerveau while actually convincing everyone--including Romain--that Romain is le cerveau, essentially having his cake and eating it too. People do what he wants, but no one feels threatened by him. I could see him taking that to the finals. BUT I also think one misstep could quickly unravel his whole game--much like what happened with Cedric tbh--so I wouldn’t be too confident about him making final 5 yet.

Elea I think will make it, unless Ines manages to take out all of TeamWinner. But she’d have to get 3/3 of all of the remaining eliminations, which is plausible, but unlikely. It’s conceivable she’ll take out Romain and the whole house of cards will fall. But it’s more possible that she’ll take out Romain and then alliances will shift and Elea and/or Valeria will find other avenues to the finale.

Gabriel flies so completely under the radar lol. He’s in that interesting position where’s not an OG but he’s been there significantly longer than the other recent additions. I feel like I know him as a person, but not as a profile. I have a hard time placing where he is in the game, even though as a person, I like him and wouldn’t mind seeing him advance or, at this point, win. He’s probably the least suspicious of them all lol.

Ines I think will make it to the end. That’s mostly just an instinct. It’s possible TeamWinner will get rid of her successfully--she probably is their next target--but ultimately I think she’s poised to strategize her way at least past three eliminations, if not to the top spot.

[fantastic-rambles]

I just watched ep. 11 (so SPOILERS) and am now praying that Tadashi isn’t as stupid as he seems and has some super secret plan in the works bc the path he’s going down will clearly do the opposite of help Adam. He literally used the right equation, but got the wrong answer 😑 He said “Oh abandonment + isolation issues?? Lemme just abandon our shared endeavor (again) so that you rely upon only one person who dislikes you and doesn’t give two shits about you beyond your skating skill 😃” Ah yes how lovely that’ll work out. I’d never blame Tadashi for all of Adam’s issues but why does he keep dropping the ball?? Please sir, I beg you to consider showing a crumb of emotion/commitment so that Adam knows you care and will be less of a hilariously terrifying menace. The change in the end credit sequence gives me a little bit of hope that Tadashi will figure out how to be there for Adam the right way (caring about his person more than his image). Honestly surprised how much content we got on Tadashi and Adam. Highlighting their relationship and how much Tadashi wants to help Adam, makes Adam falling so low in this episode much sadder. The parallels between them and Renga hurt so bad. And the way they explicitly explained one of them to us for the ppl who think Tadashi does/should hate Adam 😶. I was honestly hoping for more chronologically clear backstory, but I’m still surprised by how focused this ep was on them and seeing the contrast between them as blushing little kids to now.

And I know you said you see Tadashi as closest to the God figure with the references. But look how the race with Reki (apple) further corrupted Adam, but provided a moment of enlightenment to Tadashi (snake [og Eve? Lilith?]). While the Snake brought the apple to the garden, wasn’t it also Eve who gave into it? Idk I’m starting to feel like Tadashi is misnomered bc of the backstory and how he has no malicious intent in taking him down. And even though Lilith is known for not being subservient to Adam, in a way Tadashi fits by hurting the relationship when making the one big stand siding with Adam’s father (possibly the devil in Adam’s POV) and what Adam would probably consider to be the sin (giving up skateboarding). This is kind of confusing bc I definitely think that Adam sees losing skating as the ‘sin’. But Tadashi views skating as the ‘sin’. So while Tadashi sees himself as the snake (fundamentally lower and a negative influence) Adam could have seen him as a Lilith (With him in the garden first and equal with him until he fell [down into his subservient role]). I think this ep highlights that bc of Tadashi’s contrasting teacher and servant roles, when in childhood they were somewhat equal. I think the only way Tadashi truly falls into the ‘God’ role is if he really does go through with forfeiting and basically offers up Langa (Eve) to Adam. (Btw I have virtually 0 bible knowledge so I am very under qualified to be making these inferences lmao)

I was so worried when it seemed Reki was gonna win bc it would’ve seemed so unrealistic to me. I totally blocked out that outcome until he did the cliff jump and I got nervous lol. I do like that the reason Reki pulled ahead and the reason he lost are the same thing. Reki does have a unique strength of innovation with boards but it doesn’t automatically get him to the levels of those more skilled.

Also very happy about the 🍵🌸 moment of Joe not even arguing about pushing Cherry. Did Cherry purposefully not use his Carla wheelchair just so Joe would have to help him?? I guess we’ll never know. Also Joe’s face watching Cherry laugh at Adam (I think showing Cherry moving on from his admiration of him). Idc what anyone says, Joe is totally pining for Cherry and it’s so sweet.

Oh and!! The investigation is doing a raid?! Jail for Adam ig bc there’s no way they’ll include that as a plot point for everything to come back clean. (And if Tadashi takes the fall not just bc the order but bc he actually thinks that what best, I will never forgive his dumbass 😤 Adam probably wouldn’t even function without Tadashi anyways since he takes care of so much)

I don’t remember if I mentioned it to you or someone else, but I didn’t think Adam would end up ultimately skating against Tadashi because their relationship is irreparably broken (at least right now), so Adam isn’t willing to listen to anything Tadashi has to say and wouldn’t really be able to learn anything if they raced since the only thing he seems to feel towards Tadashi is resentment: long-term resentment from when he was younger, and a stronger sense of it now after Tadashi tried to use it to force him to quit. So Tadashi forfeiting and giving the race to Langa makes sense to me in terms of Tadashi realizing that he really screwed up and that the only person who can really save Adam at this point/revive his “pure” love for skating is Langa, because Langa’s the only person Adam considers an equal. Because if Adam can return to that state of “innocence,” then he could simply enjoy skating for the sake of skating, and he would be able to skate with anyone regardless of their skill level, rather than needing someone at his level. In other words, he would no longer need an Eve, a perfect partner just for him.

And I will never say no to more Adam backstory. Even though it didn’t really show us anything especially novel. xD

Uh. So... I’ve got even less Biblical knowledge than you, lol. I have no idea who Lilith is and what she does. -goes off to do some research-

Okay, so based on The Alphabet of Ben-Sira, I personally don’t think that Tadashi is Lilith, since he clearly is considered inferior to Adam by pretty much everyone, including himself. Between Eve and Lilith, he strikes me as more Eve. The incident with Adam’s father (glad to know that he’s actually dead, lol) was also him taking a passive/subservient role to his “master.” And even as a child, he understood that he wasn’t Adam’s equal, even though he taught Adam how to skate. Again, in terms of skill, yeah, they’re on the same level, but socially, they weren’t/aren’t. So to me, Langa actually fits the idea of Lilith better, because Adam does see him as an equal, and Adam will most likely end up losing to Langa, who would refuse to “lie below” Adam, and who rejects Adam and runs away (with Reki). But yeah, Tadashi literally giving Langa to Adam (whether Langa is “Eve” or “Lilith”) definitely reinforces my Tadashi as God thoughts. (Though again, with a duality of also being Eve, at least originally.) xD

Absolutely agree regarding the really close result of Adam/Reki. Yeah, there’s an explanation for why Reki could get ahead of Adam (and Adam’s got a longboard, which has less maneuverability), but even with those taken into account (and Adam’s really weird/kinda OOC imo moment of self-doubt), I still don’t think it should have ended up as a photo finish given their vast difference in skill level. If Adam can catch up even after giving Reki a half-course head start under normal conditions, there’s no reason for him to not be able to easily beat Reki, even after taking everything into consideration, other than protagonist plot armor/drama. Though my dislike of Reki is also lessening (thankfully) now, regardless. Like, Reki isn’t a bad kid. I get that. I just found him to be super obnoxious and toxic in a typical teen way. ^^;

I was pretty sure Reki wouldn’t win, but I was annoyed that he lost by such a small margin, because yeah, that seems unrealistic.

Cherry absolutely ditched Carla to make Joe push him around. <3

But yeah, Adam is absolutely getting in trouble and more than likely going to jail. I’m still holding out hope that he’ll have an epiphany and turn himself in rather than make Tadashi take the fall, but I’d be equally happy if he just continued spiraling into madness. Either way, his character development would be fantastic. xD

[beatriceeagle]

no pressure if you're busy but i was wondering - is titans good? or is it more a show where you're like it's not /good/ but i like it? i thought it looked interesting but then everyone was so negative about it i kind of got put off. And then your (really excellent btw) video resparked why i thought it'd be interesting to watch in the first place. thanks!

I haven’t paid a ton of attention to what fans have said about Titans, although I’m aware that there’s a general negative vibe around it. I suspect that whether Titans is worth watching for you depends a whole lot on what you want out of Titans.

I went into the show having never read a DC comic in my life. I was coming off of a week-long Wikipedia binge on Batman and his associated characters—the Robins, the Batgirls, some dude named Signal—and was talking to @thirdblindmouse about how it had become overwhelmingly clear to me that we’ve been doing Batman all wrong for decades, and the way to tell the story is as an ensemble family drama about intergenerational trauma. And she was like, “Uh, have you seen Titans?” So all of my pre-existing understanding of the characters comes from Google and selected comics scans.

I suspect that the show’s interpretation of Dick Grayson, in particular, is... skewed? I’m almost certain, based on scans of comics I’ve seen/the half a season of Teen Titans I watched a lifetime ago, that its interpretation of Starfire is highly nontraditional. There are certain storylines that I know they’re adapting, but like, they are playing very loose with the adaptation of even some of the characters’ basic personalities. (I’m pretty sure—again, not really a DC comics fan!)

So if you’re very committed to a generally cheerful Dick Grayson, Titans will not give you that. If you have a vision of Batman as a generally decent man, Titans will really not give you that. In general, I think that the show would be better if it erred more towards a lighter tone for Dick—there are moments where he has shades of Quentin in season three of The Magicians, when Q was kind of endearingly hapless, and the show is better for it. But I think it earns its ambivalent stance on Batman, and uses it well. Batman in Titans looks and acts like your dad whose office you’re not allowed into. And Titans!Starfire is really amazing. Like, Anna-Diop-is-a-revelation, fuck-now-you’ve-got-me-shipping-against-my-will amazing.

The bigger issue that Titans has—and this is not unrelated to Dick’s characterization, I guess—is its relationship with violence. Titans is a really violent show, especially in its first season, and it’s off-putting. Pretty much every superhero show involves the heroes beating up bad guys; not every superhero show involves the protagonist mutilating someone in the course of a fight.

This is not unthinking hyperviolence. Titans (which is actually annoyingly pretty good about tracking character through action sequences) is trying to make a point: The compounding traumas of Dick’s childhood resulted in an explosion of rage. Batman funneled his anger into Dick; Dick funnels his anger into whatever bad guy he’s fighting. The show isn’t subtle about this idea. Dick says it out loud several times. Nor (after the first fight) does the show endorse Dick’s over-the-top violence. Everyone from Donna Troy to Dick himself remarks on it with, at minimum, concern. And over time, Dick’s fighting style changes; he consciously leaves the hyperviolence behind, until his final fight of season two is primarily evasive.

But Dick is not the only Titans character who is working out his rage on the criminals he apprehends, and the show is considerably less coherent in its tonal approach to other characters’ violence. Hank and Dawn—the masked hero team Hawk and Dove—have an origin story that plays out like the the backstory of a serial killer couple, their interlocking trauma and rage and grief finding expression and acceptance in each other. The show is aware of the dynamic, but it’s not clear that it’s aware of how disturbing it is. Hank and Dawn are, primarily, people who need to cause violence in order to be at peace in their own heads—and only secondarily, people who want to protect others from danger. Season two does do some work exploring this idea, but the exploration is confused by the fact that, in the end, the show wants both of them on the cast.

Which is kind of the problem with any superhero show that sets out to explore the ethics of superheroism—at the end of the day, the characters aren’t gonna retire to Wisconsin, you know? So Titans presents hyperviolence, presents it as problematic (sometimes), presents it as almost an inevitable consequence of traumatized teenagers deciding to pursue vigilante justice... and then builds a superhero team of traumatized teenagers and young adults. As is its basic conceit.

And on a more fundamental level, the hyperviolence just sort of makes the show feel very grim. It’s already an aesthetically dark show, a lot of the time, and then you’ve got people getting mutilated, and Batman’s an asshole and Dick Grayson’s got anger management issues, and it feels like the show’s grimdark. 

I don’t think it is, though. First of all, despite everything, Titans actually has a sense of humor, both in general and occasionally about itself—I mean, it’s not Legends of Tomorrow, but it understands how to crack a smile every now and then. (They have a superdog. He shoots lasers out of his eyes!) But more importantly, at the end of the day, Titans is hopeful. Yeah, it’s a show about anger and violence and intergenerational trauma—but it’s more specifically about moving beyond those things. At its heart, it’s about being a better parent to your children than your parents were to you.

That central relationship between Dick and Rachel—Dick trying, and sometimes failing, but always caring and trying to be better for Rachel, and Rachel’s absolute fury with him when he fails, but her unshakeable devotion to him for being there, the unbelievable amount of sway he holds in her world—that’s what makes the show work for me. There are other vital relationships, too—Rachel and Kory, especially, but also all of the pseudo-familial relationships built up between all of the characters—but it all comes back to Dick and Rachel.

I mean, it’s a found family show. So much so that in season two, there are like, three separate speeches about how this is a family, not one of those stupid biological families, but a family we found, and isn’t that the important kind? And how grimdark can a found family show really be?

The other thing that might throw some people off—but which is actually one of my favorite things about the show—is the structure. If you take a look at the Titans episode list, you’ll see that roughly 75 percent of the episodes are named after a character or characters. Season one of Titans is basically about Dick, Starfire, Gar, and Rachel (Raven from the comics) traveling the midwest, picking up the people who will eventually form the main Titans team. When they encounter those people, they get a spotlight episode. So in episode two, “Hawk and Dove,” when Dick and Rachel lay low at Hank and Dawn’s, the episode starts out with an extended cold open, entirely disconnected from the main characters, just introducing us to Hank and Dawn as characters. Episode eight, “Donna Troy,” sees Dick go to visit his old friend Donna in Milwaukee, and... basically just hang out with her for half the episode, while the rest of the cast does plot stuff. Occasionally, these spotlight episodes stop the plot completely: Towards the end of season one, an episode ends on a cliffhanger. the next episode, rather than showing the outcome of the cliffhanger, is “Hank and Dawn,” an episode that flashes back to show the story of how Hank and Dawn met and became masked heroes. (There’s an in-episode device that eventually makes it clear why this story is related to the cliffhanger.) Season two uses the cliffhanger-into-a-flashback-spotlight-episode structure two more times, once with a character we’ve never met before.

I can see this being deeply frustrating to a viewer watching week-by-week (and I would not recommend watching Titans in that manner). And it’s certainly an unconventional way to structure a season of television. But honestly? I think it’s half of what I like about the show. The spotlight and flashback episodes are good—often some of the best the show’s produced. They don’t stop the plot for no reason; in season two, in particular, they provide context and backstory and characterization in a way that would be almost impossible to do, or to do so well, without the space of a full episode. They make the show more episodic than it would otherwise be—always a joy, in a television landscape full of 10-hour movies—and give it space to experiment with tone and genre. They make the characters richer, and the relationships more complex.

Does it slow down the plot? Absolutely. But Titans is not overflowing with complex plot, and I don’t really think it should try to. The plot of Titans hangs together juuuuuuuust enough to make the themes and characters and relationships work. It’s coherent—we’re not talking Teen Wolf, here—but it’s not brilliant, and honestly, that’s fine by me. But I suppose if you want your plot to be really good, this may not be the show for you.

Finally, I’ll say that Titans, though not what I would call a feminist show (it has a primarily male writing staff and I think it shows) does have a kind of surprisingly large female cast? I wanna say it’s five men, five women, by the end of season two? (Yeah, it’s a fucking enormous cast.) And the women have actual relationships with each other, ones that the show puts some effort into maintaining and remembering. I realize this is damning with faint praise, but honestly I’d just expected a show like Titans to not do that, and was prepared to ignore it, and was kind of pleasantly surprised when I didn’t have to.

In summary: I told my sister that Titans is 10% men in spandex standing on cars, 30% team as family, 30% intergenerational trauma, 20% an uncomfortable relationship with is own hyperviolence, and 10% Krypto the Superdog. I think that tracks. That show, despite having Anna Diop’s glowing presence, has a lot of flaws, but it also really worked for me on some soul-deep level. I am exactly on its wavelength.

I do not think that Titans is a fantastic television show, but I also don’t think it’s a very bad one. I think it’s generally competent show that is very interesting in some aspects, is weak in some areas, falls prey to some inherent trappings of its genre, is thoughtful about familial trauma, is not thoughtful enough about violence and criminal justice, has a lot of very compelling performances, is really poorly lit a lot of the time, pays a lot of attention to its visual language, kind of thinks Batman’s an asshole, and has Krypto the Superdog. It really worked for me; I can see why others might not be into it; it might work for you!

[madsthecreator]

Doris: 1, 2, 3, 6, 42; Ellie: 7, 8, 11; Elizabeth: 1, 2, 3, 18, 34; Isabella: 5, 7, 8, 15, 25; Jean: 11, 12, 21, 26, 28; Kitty: 1, 9, 16, 29, 31; Madison: 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 34, 38; Mads: 42, 43, 44, 45; Madé: 1, 4, 8, 9, 18, 20; Skylar: 22, 23, 24, 25; Sophia: 29, 35, 36, 39; Willow: 42, 43

@bpdanakins

Thank you so much! This is pretty long, so I put a “keep reading”. If this breaks the app since it’s so dysfunctional smh, please let me know! Also, please excuse the different types of formatting throughout the answers, MDR.

Want to ask questions, too? Check out the list.

DORIS (PJO)

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Doris is a demigod, so she is bound to have some siblings! Her father is Hades so while he does not have too much offspring, they’re still there. She is very close to Nico and Hazel, who are both slightly younger than her. Her Big Three (Zeus, Poseidon, Hades) cousins are all close to her in age, too. She respects Percy the most, for he never really took a hostile attitude towards her like many people do with the children of Hades.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

I’m still somewhat developing her backstory/family life, but like all heroes and children of Hades: dead mother. Unlike her other siblings (and most people), Doris can still communicate with her mother. I like to think that even with her mother technically being dead/a ghost, Doris has a good relationship with her. Her mother is also motherly towards Nico and Hazel, too, which is lovely.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Somewhat paternal and somewhat professional Doris does find herself hanging out at her dad’s place a lot, but she also runs a lot of errands for him. (Nico does it, too.) While they may not have a close, warm relationship, it is not hard to find that Hades does care for his children, and that they would defend him against the others. BTW, there is also a lot of banter between Hades and Doris, and I dig it.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Not really but like many demigods, her dreams often hold significance. Dreams tend to help guide what is needed to be done next, or there may be a message she needs to hear.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? 

I haven’t really thought about this. Technically, everyone in the Greek world is related but I like to think that Doris has a positive relationship with Persephone, her stepmother. Perhaps she also gets along with Mr. D, lol.

ELLIE (RE)

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Events of Raccoon definitely affected her, especially for the first couple of years. This has faded away (as nightmares of different outbreaks took over, lol) but it still lingers. It will never really go away.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Yes. Her boyfriend, who was training to be a cop at the time, kind of showed her the ropes which was good in hindsight.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Raccoon City comes to mind, but specifically when she thought she was going to lose Leon. The initial outbreak, however, was quite terrifying because she was all alone and had to navigate her way to RPD all by herself.

ELIZABETH (TR)

1. She’s an only child. She has cousins on her maternal side, but she never sees them.

2. & 3.

I’m combining these two. Liz has a very strained relationship with her parents. They can both be described as deadbeat. Liz’s mother also never aspired to be a mother and after her relationship with Liz’s father dissolved, she went off the radar. No one really knows where she is. Liz’s father (Lara’s brother) is also not in the picture. The reasons are not fully known, but he and Lara have bad blood with each other. (Specifically, the issue of their parents but there is more to it.) Let’s just say that Liz’s hates both of her parents. They abandoned her. They never come to visit. Why should she care about them?

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

I definitely believe that she admires ambition over wisdom. However, she sees value in both…she just discards advice from those who are not her family. (She even discards Winston’s wisdom at times!)

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?    

Depending on context, she may retry a solution/method once or twice, thinking she made a mistake but after that, she’ll figure out a new solution/method.

ISABELLA (GTA: VC)

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?    Before she fully rehabilitated, traces of cocaine. There may be a few coins and a knife. She can’t afford to not have protection on her. Maybe some condoms, because the people she used to live with made her go on condom run so they wouldn’t get…busted. It became a habit to have them.

7. Her nightmares consist of her family meeting their ultimate demise and her (former) addiction ruining her.

8. I like to think that her first target was at her dad’s boss (who had him sent to jail) but more realistically, the first time she fired a gun was a warning shot for a rival family to step back, or someone trying to assault one of her family members (specifically, the people who raised her).

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

She was raised to think money first. Materials are good (especially for business/merchandise), but money is the ultimate power. That’s what people care about the most.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?   

Pretty quickly. Mafia is supposed to be about family, but Isabella definitely trusts no one. Especially not the Forelli Family after her father was sent to prison. Like her father, she takes loyalty seriously and therefore, do not cross her.

JEAN (ST)

11. This is a hard one. I think one of the scarier moments of her life is when her father was no longer in the picture. Her mother did her best to raise Jean and her brother by herself but at the beginning, it was hard. Jean’s mother fell into a depressive episode. She was active with her children, but Jean could tell that her mother wasn’t entirely there, and it scared her.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Hard to say. Jean is generally a calm, laid back type of girl. However, when she is too calm, that shows how angry or afraid she really is.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

It depends on that situation. For example, if something happened to her family or friends, she blames herself. She could have protected/save them. Why couldn’t she? However, if we are dealing with the supernatural side of her life, she blames the people responsible for that and claims that she will kick their ass.

26. How does your character behave around children?   

Pretty well. Dustin is her younger brother and while they are super close, they would also probably try to choke each other or have really heated banter. That’s just how siblings be! She also finds herself around the Party a lot, often having to drive them to places since none of them have their license lol. El and Max often go to her, asking for advice and having “girl time”, since they like and trust her. She doesn’t mind, though. El and Max are cool and when Billy was harming his sister? Watch out: Jean’s about to throw hands.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?   

You would have to get Jean really, really pissed off if she resorts to physical violence.

KITTY (ST:AOS)

1.

Kitty has a sister who is about seven years older, but they have a good relationship. Her sister also has children who close to Kitty’s age (Kitty was around ten when her niece was born). She’s close to her sister and family, even while she’s enlisted in Starfleet. If you count in the Enterprise family, Kitty is also one of the younger ones. She’s around Chekov’s age, so they have a close and developing relationship :)

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?   

I don’t doubt it. The best way I can describe Kitty’s family is lower middle class. However, since joining Starfleet, she’s been making money which has lifted the family socioeconomic class up a bit. (She sends money back to help support her family, whether they like it or not.)

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?    Happiness. She can find success very easy, but being happy is harder. Much harder.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Okay tbh, I’m kinda still deciding on what the dream is specifically but I can confirm that Kitty’s dream did come true :)

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. 

On the Enterprise, she likes to wear comfortable clothing (yoga pants and large t-shirt), hair pulled up in a ponytail, and she’s streaming media (tv, movies, youtube; stuff like that) while reclining on her bed and eating junk food.

On Earth, she feels comfortable with being reunited with her family. She loves her home base, and family is important to her.

MADISON (TR)

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Uh…yeah. She survived Yamatai, and she also goes to Siberia and Peru later on (yes she’s in all the reboot trilogy games don’t @ me). She has seen a lot. Others do know about this. Her fellow Yamatai survivors know and her family has a concept of what happened to her, but not really. The only ones who do understand is Lara and Jonah.

5. Pockets. What pockets? Madison does carry a purse, and a lot can be found in that. Her wallet, pads, pens, snacks, a hairbrush when needed, earbuds, keys. When she’s on expeditions, the purse is replaced with a backpack and has more stuff in it, like first aid and research supplies.

7. Nightmares are definitely PTSD-related. Events from Yamatai, Siberia, and even Taititi have all affected her the most. Yamatai definitely struck her; it was horror on that island. She may also have nightmares of her loved ones either haunting or being killed (because of her).

8. Her first target was at one of the Solarii Brotherhood members on Yamatai

11. Yamatai is probably the most traumatic experience she’s ever endured (haha). There’s also this one time where a Trinity member attacked her at her university, when she was on her own home turf, and that was pretty terrifying itself.

34. She’ll quickly move on to find a new solution/method but if she’s tried everything, she’ll rebound to the original or may combine certain aspects of everything she’s tried.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?  

She will try her damn hardest to remove a problem/threat. She’s not the main player for it, she’s more side-kicky. She knows when she needs to take a step back, removing herself from the situation.

MADS (RE)

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

It depends how she views it. She had a really good mentor for her job post-Raccoon City. English teachers from high school could count, haha.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Yes. She’s kind of a kid magnet. She’s also one of the more feistier and protective type of person, so this could apply to her friends too.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Difficult. She can say “I love you” to her brother easily but with other family members it’s hard. I don’t think she wouldn’t say it without meaning it because she realizes that it is correlated with strong responses, both with her and with other people.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She doesn’t like to think about death. She’s dealt with numerous “zombie” outbreaks over the years since Raccoon City, and has a big fear that she’ll turn into one of them. She’s also not a big believer of heaven or hell, but she does wonder what happens after life on Earth.

MADÉ (SW)

1. Madé is the oldest out of four daughters. She’s not really close to any of them, but it doesn’t mean that she loves her sisters any less! She lived in Naboo’s capital and later moved to Coruscant, so her visits were somewhat sparse. Then she moved to a desert planet, when contact was even more rare. I will say that the sister she is closest to is the sister who had Paige and Rose Tico. (Still trying to decide if Madé is their aunt or great-aunt, haha!)

4. I would say so. The Fall of the Republic, Order 66, and the death of Padmé were some of the biggest events that affected Madé. After all, watching something you fought so hard for crumble (she never liked Palpatine, let’s be clear on that right now), as well as a group of people slaughtered (she can’t help but think of the padawans and younglings the most), and watching someone she cared so much and dedicated her life to dying right in front of her? And then having to figure out how to keep her children safe? That would be hard on anyone.

I would say Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Bail Organa and the Skywalker OC I have yet to develop/name, lol are some of the more prominent people who know about these traumas.

8. She was Padmé’s handmaiden and bodyguard, so yes she has fired a gun. (Blaster would be the more appropriate term.) The first target? Someone who was trying to harm the Queen of Naboo or one of the other handmaidens.

9. Hm….no. Madé didn’t come from a rich family and while she had a better economic/social status when she became a handmaiden, it depleted after the fall of the Old Republic. Actually, her status now might be lower than she originally started out with.

18. She has seen a lot of ambition in her lifetime, so wisdom is always a welcoming change. (However, fuck the Jedi Council. lmao.)

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

This is hard! I would have to say her age somewhat concerned her as she was at Padmé’s side. She is one of the oldest handmaidens, and on Naboo they valued youthfulness in their monarchy. It kind of worried her how the Naboo governors viewed her (Palpatine didn’t particularly like her, because she saw his true character). A lot of people also judged her for staying with Padméfor all those years. Shouldn’t she move on? Have her own life? (Ouch.) So, I guess she would have compared herself to the other handmaidens but she really didn’t let the criticisms affect her. She knows what she wants in life.

SKYLAR (OUTSIDERS)

22. What does your character like in other people?

She likes those who have integrity and stand up for themselves and for their loved ones. She likes reliability and stability, too. While she needs someone serious, she also likes to kick back and have fun, too!

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Those who harm others just for the hell of it; bullies. People with big mouths AKA those who don’t know when to mind their own business. She doesn’t like those who think that they are better than others, especially those who are of upper class. Fuck them.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Hm. She’s not one to trust quickly but she doesn’t take awhile in trusting someone. I would say, especially after the death of her parents, she can be wary of others. Not only for herself, but for her family too. She wants to keep them safe as much as she can. Honestly, in order to gain her trust, you have to prove yourself to her and to her friends/family.

25.Suspect can be quick if something has been brought to her attention. She will give the benefit of the doubt but she can also read people pretty well. She doesn’t like to be paranoid but she has to keep her guard off for her family.

SOPHIA (IT)

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Sophia doesn’t remember what her childhood dreams were, so she can’t really say if her dream came true. However I can say that while she grew up, she really didn’t know what to do. She did always want to save people so technically, in that way, her aspiration came true.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

In general, she gets super nervous. Butterflies in her stomach, blushing, the whole nine yards. She would also try to be as interactive as she can with her crush.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

She makes it very clear. She’ll scowl at them and when they insult her friends, she throws clap-backs that are either very eloquent or very brash.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

She’s been nipped by dogs, but it never affected her. However, she remembers Pennywise’s rows of sharp teeth, and that stirs uneasiness within, even if when she couldn’t remember why. (She always associated with not liking sharks thanks to Jaws.)

Also, I just imagined as a kid, she got bitten by a raccoon or something while she and the rest of the Losers were in the woods LMFAO

42. Yes. Her stepfather. We can even argue that Stan and Patty (who she and her brother refer to as their uncle and aunt) have been parental figures to her, too.

43. No one I can think about. Maybe like, the Marshcom (is that the ship name? idk lol) baby or a small pet, but that’s about it.