#this ends up being my problem in every fandom i try to talk about

[bellasboneyard]

I wish I could take all the misinformation people have about the band and clarify things, but it never works.

No matter if its Rabbit being replaced, or what happened to past members, you jus dont know the whole story.

There was a time wed fight religiously to have the proper narrative in the zeitgheist, but the thought of typing anything at this point...or making a video. Its just exhausting

Nobody gives a shit. I dont give a shit.

The problem with Steam Powered Giraffe is that its creators got too involved in the fan community. Expectations became outrageous and to this day we find ourselves struggling.

You interact too much or too little, you just cant win.

Id much prefer these days over the height of Tumblrs insanity...we were so dumb to be so open and inviting back in the day, and we spent way too much time on fans who wanted to cause trouble for us, and it ended up just causing trauma my brother and I are still coping with.

I think back to those days and what Mike and Steve were doing, and all the talks we had, the trust we put into eachother...and what do we have to show for it? Trauma.

I still remember those notes fans sent about what Mike did, and while I know I wasnt responsible, it infuriates me to this day that David and I poured so much time an energy into our presence to show what professionalism, mental health struggles, and growing up looks like, and for those core values to be undermined by Mike and people like Mike.

Notice how Tumblr shut up about David and Me? Because the reality of something really nasty blew all the speculation we were secretly horrible people out of the water.

We were raised by shitty people, and its been an ongoing theme in our songs and our life that we have to try so hard to not be those people.

Biggest fear. And you know what. I am a shitty person, but mostly to my brother and loved ones.

Ive struggled all my life with finding my place, and my demons brought me to a breaking point in 2020.

But I always will own up to my shitty behavior. I AM petty, I am quick to anger, and Im terrified of everyone around me. Im socially awkward and I have panic attacks frequently.

Since the bands inception this has been true, and it was so much worse when I was a young performer trying to find their voice.

Ive never had anything to hide. I put myself out there warts and all because I know Im not an evil, menacing person, Im just the child of a parent who also struggled with mental health, and Ive never come close to the horrors she inflicted on David and I.

Being responsible for my trauma, learning and growing, thats what I get to do despite what you think about me. And I used to care a lot more...but you do it and tell me youre a model human being for a bunch of people youve never met.

I no longer think a good message is enough, even when you try as hard as we have...the reality of the world is sad and bleak.

Its the perfect world for living and fighting and crying and dying, and making emo music wondering why mommy never loved you.

I still wonder why. And how anyone could look at the story of my life and say Im invalid.

Go and do what we did, youd be in the same place.

My story is unremarkable. If I did anything like Mike...Id fucking kill myself. I couldnt live with that.

Whats impressive is that Im even alive and functioning, when back in the day SPG was the only thing going for me and the fandom was my family...my source of happiness. Now thats the darkness people dont see...

Just how unhinged I was back in those good ol tumblr days...and how little self esteem I had.

Im still fucked up from everything. EVERYTHING. I dont even read comments anymore or anything because its always how me being trans ruined the band or how robots cant be fat or any number of things that make me a problem for the band. I still hear them, because David sees all of them and monitors them, and its horrible. Every time I feel like I shoupd just apologize for being fat and trans and depressed.

My self worth has been so low, Ive been in the lowest lowest points in my mind since 2020, lost all respect for myself, ego death, suicidal fantasies, and it was so bad... For years and years and to this day I struggle to find meaning in my journey when I cant afford to feed my family or buy clothes.

But this journey has never been easy for me. Every single moment was hard fought. Every step towards growth has been done one painfully excruciatingly hard step at a time.

I do feel proud, but no matter the music quality or the movements or the accomplishments...

Nothing will change the rot in the world...and

that grooming young girls is still highly normalized to this day.

[bloomingdead]

“You’re telling me it’s fine that the choices don’t matter?!?” No, we’re telling you that you’re wasting your energy being angry because it’s already decided.

[yayakoishii]

Sober (Pt. 2) | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre/Tags: Angst, Happy Ending, Sanji being dumb

Summary: You had waited for Sanji to confess to you when he was sober. Except...

A/n: I don't usually write sequels but I felt like it and then it became unexpectedly angsty?? It's still a pretty happy ending imo, so I hope you like this continuation ♡

To new readers, this is a part 2 to my oneshot that I've linked below. You could read this one without reading that, but it won't make as much sense.

Part 1

also available on ao3!

He didn't do it.

The morning after, Sanji woke up with a terrible headache and vague hazy memories from the night before. It was only when he was serving breakfast to everyone and saw you that he remembered the… conversation you two had had. But then he dismissed it, realising it was only a dream. He had drank too much, fallen asleep and dreamt of you. Yeah, that must have been it.

Thinking so, he smiled at you as usual and mooned over Nami and Robin as always, not noticing your hopeful smile turn into a disappointed one.

Every time you popped into the kitchen or tried to strike up a conversation with Sanji after that, the dream would pop up in his mind and he ended up stammering his way out. A few days in, you realised he was avoiding you and started reciprocating by not going out of your way to talk to him either.

Sanji missed you. He didn't realise what the problem was because he wasn't being that weird. Okay, so maybe he was too flustered from his dream where you had held him so close and he had kissed you (he could still feel the phantom warmth of your breath on his mouth, the wet press of your lips on his cheek) and it was difficult to talk to you about anything without feeling the urge to do that with you. Maybe he had shut down one conversation too many but now you were avoiding him back and he didn't know how to fix it.

He couldn't just tell you about that dream he had had. You would slap him and be disgusted and freak out. Even the thought of that sunk his heart. He could tolerate being just a crewmate to you for the rest of your lives, but he couldn't tolerate the thought of you hating him forever. But without talking about the dream, he couldn't explain himself either.

A week passed like that, the two of you awkward and clumsy around each other. Everyone else noticed and Nami had tried to talk to both you and Sanji about it but neither of you let her know anything. They were all confused and Luffy just wanted you both to go back to being your usual selves because it was weird even for him. Of course, no one had the gall to say it to your faces, and Nami had stopped Luffy from saying it when he tried.

Fortunately, a new island appeared and the usual straw hat cycle of finding a city in trouble and accidentally saving them played its hand. The resulting party had you downing a few bottles of wine, although Sanji knew how much you hated the taste of alcohol.

"Why would I drink that?" Your face had scrunched up the first time Sanji had questioned you about it. "It doesn't taste good to me at all. I'd rather drink the juice you make for me, Sanji."

There was no one on the ship who praised Sanji's cooking as much as you did. You didn't hesitate to compliment his food every single day and while Sanji was very secure in his cooking ability, it was still validating to hear how much you loved his food anyway.

This past week you hadn't complimented him even once. You had never gone this long without doing it so Sanji knew you had to be really upset with him. He had to try and fix this as soon as he could.

Even during the party, his head was full of thoughts of you. When he looked out for you, he found you slumped over a table, empty wine bottles lying all around you. Without thinking, Sanji made his way over and cleared away the bottles so that you wouldn't accidentally break one and hurt yourself. You stayed silent as you watched him.

"Do you want to go back to the Sunny, my dear?" Sanji looked at you finally, trying to exude his usual self. You shot him a glare and pouted, your cheeks puffing up in what was unmistakably anger.

"Go away," you hissed at him. Sanji had to blink away the thought of how much you resembled a cat in that moment. "I don' like lyin' liars who lie to me."

Sanji had expected you to be angry at him but that statement confused him. He had avoided you, yes, but he could not remember lying to you. You were not one to lie so perhaps there had been a misunderstanding between you two?

"Which lie are you talking about, (y/n)-chan?" He asked carefully. You froze and shot him another glare. Even angry, you looked cute.

"Which lie?" You sounded outraged. "How many lies have you told me, huh?!"

"Wh– that's not what I meant!" Sanji tried to calm you down but you stood up abruptly and started walking back to the Sunny. The chef was stunned for a second. You never just up and leave. He had really badly fucked this up. So of course he had to run after you. Sanji caught up to you halfway, skidding to a halt in your path so you couldn't move. "Wait! I really don't know what lie you're talking about, my love, but I'm sorry for it. I will do whatever it takes to beg for your forgiveness and then try my best to make the lie a reality."

You stopped glaring and shot him a heartbroken look instead. Sanji felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Why did you look like that over… him?

"That's what it was supposed to be," you said quietly. The two of you were quite a way away from the din of the party so Sanji could make out the words. He was getting more confused but he had to be patient and hear you out. He couldn't fix his mistake if he didn't know what he had done. "You said that if this was real… you wanted to hold me. You said you would tell me how much I mean to you. That you would kiss me and tell me how much you love me. So why haven't you, Sanji? Do you not feel those things anymore? Or was it all a lie?"

Sanji froze. That was… that was the dream he had had! How did you know– Oh. Oh he had been so stupid. It hadn't been a dream at all. It had been real. And he had fucked it all up by avoiding you after all of that.

"Maybe I was the one who was an idiot for thinking you could possibly like me," you were crying now, tears running down your cheeks. Sanji's heart hurt at the sight; he had wanted to be the reason for your smile and laughter, not for your tears. He had hurt you, the person most precious to him. You suddenly grabbed his collar and pushed him into the tree and he just let you, mind too jumbled up to say anything. "I'm a fool. God, I was so stupidly happy that night, I couldn't sleep. I thought all my dreams had come true. I thought we would be in love. I thought I could finally wake you up with a kiss and tell you how much I loved you too before we fell asleep. I thought I would make you your favourite dish for your birthday and, and go do one of those love compatibility readings at the fortune telling shop for fun! I thought, I thought of so many things I wanted to do with you and you… Sanji, you never came. You never told me those words you had said when you were drunk."

He wanted all of that too. Sanji wanted to do all those things you had said and even more.

Your tightened fists loosened as you breathed heavily, still crying. Even like this, you were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. If Sanji had had any doubts before this, then they had no place in his heart any longer. All of him, mind, body and soul, was yours. He could not let you go on with this misunderstanding any longer.

"Guess they were wrong," you chuckled wetly, stepping back. "A drunk man's words aren't his truest thoughts after all. They are just his–"

"They are," Sanji said roughly, stepping back into your bubble. You didn't look up at him, just stared down at your feet, still crying silently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for taking all this time, my love, when you deserved to be told everyday that I'm but a fool for your attention. I was in the wrong, thinking that night had been a mere dream when my imagination cannot even begin to dream up the warmth you possess. I'm sorry and I will spend the rest of my life earning your forgiveness, if only you would find it within yourself to give me one more chance."

Your eyes looked hopeless, and you just smiled weakly at him.

"Hasn't it been enough, Sanji?" Your voice wavered. "Don't play with my heart anymore. I love you too much to survive another–"

Sanji pulled you into a tight hug, his arms surrounding you completely. Although you were still mad at him, your body automatically relaxed at the familiar comforting scent of him. "I don't have the words to even begin to apologise for what I have done. But I swear to you, love, I will make up for my mistake in every action from now on. I will leave no doubt in your mind of the fact that I'm madly, stupidly, disgustingly deeply in love with you. So much that my own heart isn't enough to hold all that love."

"You're like a dream, Sanji," you said quietly into his ear, heart racing yet mind calm. "A dream that you can't quite remember when morning comes. A dream that the more you try to grasp it, the more it slips from you. But even if you're a dream like that, I want to believe in that dream. I'm stupid enough to want to get my heart hurt again because it has chosen you and refuses to choose any other. So you better show me that my heart made the right decision."

"I will," he promised, pressing you harder into him. You were clinging onto him just as hard, but your tears had finally stopped.

"I don't like lying liars who lie, Sanji," you repeated your words from before. The chef smiled to himself. "You better keep your word this time."

Sanji hummed and let you go only to cup your cheeks in the palm of his hands. You looked at him, still a mess from crying and drinking. You were starting to look sleepy but Sanji felt like you had blown all his sleep away.

"When I'm sober," you paused to give a tiny yawn that had Sanji's heart clenching from how adorable it was, "you better be next to me."

Sanji smiled and picked you up bridal style. You curled into him and fell asleep in two seconds, barely catching his soft reply.

"I'll be there."

°•❀•°

All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

★ Taglist:

@phantasmagoricalzenith | @secretlife028 | @100520s | @toertchen | @suga-tofu | @theluckyplaces | @luvfzw | @katiemrty | @writingmysanity | @akaashi-todorki | @yuninha2004

+ @vespidphoenix | @cobainlover | @blue-chup | @yourboyhack (tagging because you seemed interested in pt. 2; sorry if it's a bother!)

[jeonscatalyst]

https://www.tumblr.com/jeonscatalyst/760242773222883328/this-all-of-this-and-every-single-bit-of-this?source=share

I do agree with this person's analysis of Jimin and Jungkook personalities, and I also agree that to some extent Jungkook's affection being rarer than Jimin's does make it more special to some fans, but where I disagree is that I don't think that's the main reason why fans seem to put more weight in what Jungkook does than what Jimin does.

Because while some fans will put this much thought on the differences in jikook's personalities, I don't think it's the majority that does. It's kinda of a problem we have actually. If people realised that Jimin and Jungkook are two different people with different ways of showing affection, then we wouldn't have to keep seeing the same stupid takes on their relationship over and over again. It's people expecting jikook to always do to the other the exact same thing the other did to them that causes so much annoying discourse.

But you know what a lot of shipper do love doing? Competing with one another. Competition is one of the main things in every k-pop fandom and sub-fandom, shippers are no exception. And when it comes to jikookers we all know the competition is with taekookers. We're always at each other's throats, let's be honest. And some spend just as much time taking about the rival ship as they do talking about their own ship.

Which leads me to what I believe is the real main reason why both sides (not just jikookers) view Jungkook's actions as more important. It's because he's the in-common person to both ships. He's like the main character in a love triangle. He's the one that ultimately decides who gets together in the end, not the two love interests, so their actions don't matter as much.

The point of contention with shippers has never really been whether or not Jimin or Taehyung like Jungkook, that's already assumed to be the case. With solos it's definitely an argument, but jikookers and taekookers focus more on each other than in solos. No, the real question has always been who does Jungkook like more: Jimin or Taehyung?

If Jimin declares his love for Jungkook jikookers will of course love that, but if Jungkook is the one who does it it'll matter more because it can be used against taekookers. Taekookers don't care if Jimin loves Jungkook or not, what he feels doesn't matter to them. Nothing Jimin says can prove anything to them. The confirmation has to come from Jungkook, that's the only way they'll care about it. And jikookers do care about one-upping taekookers. If we didn't we wouldn't spend so much time trying to prove to them that we're right.

There's been plenty of times when I've seen something that used to not matter suddenly become important the moment people realize it could be used in the shipping competition. It's a sort of 'I didn't care that much about that thing I have until I realized it could make the other side jealous'. Or 'I didn't want that thing until the other side got it and now I want it too'.

Things naturally hold more importance to people when those things have not only their own inherent value but also when they have the added bonus of pissing off someone you don't like. Jimin's love for Jungkook is important by itself but Jungkook's love for Jimin is seen as more important because it will also piss off taekookers.

I'm pretty sure that if the two biggest ships were jikook and vmin instead, then the most important thing suddenly would be Jimin's affection, regardless of how affectionate he is with everyone.

Again, I do agree some fans do consider jikook's differences and that that does influence how they value their actions, it's just that I think there's a bigger reason here.

I hope this didn't come across as me being a contrarian for the sake of it, I just wanted to add a separate perspective on the subject because I've had this opinion for a while and it seemed relevant to the topic. I also hope I was not to harsh on my opinions of other jikookers, but no fandom is without it's flaws and I think it's important to acknowledge them.

Anon, I owe you a cold beer right now because it seems like you read my mind.

This is exactly what I think too. It’s just mostly about the competition, the shipwars, the fights and the need to “win”. That’s really why people think Jungkook’s actions hold more meaning that Vmins. It’s like Jungkook is the prize that Vmin are desperately trying to win and every action or word of his is used as an affirmation or debunking. “Jungkook did this with Tae but didn’t do that with Jimin so Tae is his boyfriend”….just an endless cycle of bullshit.

Anyone who is mature and experienced enough understands that Jimin and Jungkook don’t have to express themselves exactly the same for things to be mutual. Jimin could say “I love you” to Jungkook and Jungkook wouldn’t say it back but would prefer to make a video of Jimin. So many people would say Jungkook didn’t reciprocate just because he didn’t do things exactly the way Jimin did when the truth is that he did, just in his own way.

When I see people coming up with useless takes or comparisons about their bond it pisses me off to no end because it’s the little things that Jungkook does. People would get pissed at Jungkook and say that he doesn’t show love to Jimin as much as Jimin does just because Jimin would constantly touch him, ask him to eat alot and is very vocal about his affection but Jungkook remembering that Jimin likes his food spicy and trying to make it just how Jimin likes it apparently means nothing because Jungkook wasn’t shouting on a roof top or Jungkook thinking of what to cook in Jeju and knowing that Jimin would love it doesn’t matter because he didn’t stand on a podium and announce it or Jungkook quietly getting water for Jimin and giving him to drink without him asking doesn’t mean a thing because he didn’t carry Jimin on his head. Sometimes I don’t even have the energy to argue because if only people understood Jungkook they would know that Jungkook doesn’t treat anyone the same way he does Jimin.

I personally can see how someone might naturally value Jungkook’s actions more because Jimin is a natural caring, nurturing and loving person to everyone so sometimes it is hard to tell if his actions mean more or it is just him being himself but with Jungkook, he tries as much as possible to be impartial but he just cannot help it when it comes to Jimin. He is pretty kind and caring towards everyone he loves too but not the same way Jimin does it plus Jungkook tends to go big when he expresses his affection for Jimin. So with Jimin we get little bits of love and affection more frequently than we get from Jungkook but once we get one from Jungkook, it is usually news worthy and kinda exclusive to Jimin so it hits harder.

I dunno. I might have gone off topic but like I said, I 100% agree with you.

[sokkastyles]

I have a question, I know we know that shipping does not equal morality. And I get that, and I really like that. However, on my other blog, that should have been my main blog (yes I am that dumb). I have talked about Aang's non-consensual and criticized how Kataang is written, however, if you ship Kataang I won't come for your throat because that's not my style. I know the few misogynists/antis on here and on Twitter, and I don't want to let a few bad apples be my impression of a fandom, that's not fair, So now I'm side-eyeing myself over my past remarks. Likewise, I know shipping is not equal to morality, but I also want to criticize Kataang because of how flawed it is and how wrong that kiss was (and other things). I have no idea what I'm saying because at this point I'm rambling. What do you think?

Well, there is a difference between criticizing a ship and criticizing canon. I don't honestly care what people ship. I use the antikataang tag because I don't want to argue with people who do ship it, but that doesn't mean I won't be critical of what is in the show. I think expecting people not to engage critically with media is absolute nonsense. But there is a difference between engaging critically with the actual media and criticizing people's fanon or headcanons, which is where you get away from critically engaging with canon and move into the area of criticizing other people's opinions, which is how arguments start.

Like, there isn't really any actual concrete argument you can make to criticize zutara, because zutara does not exist in canon. It's all fanon and headcanons and speculation. And criticizing other people's opinions just makes you look like a dick.

You also have to take into account the intention behind something. The thing about the way Katara's relationship with Aang is presented is that we're supposed to root for Aang to get Katara, and every obstacle towards that end is just there to create dramatic tension for the male point of audience identification. That's the real problem with the noncon kiss, and people who are critical of it are right to point it out.

In contrast, when I say shipping isn't morality, I'm talking about people who write, let's say, dubcon zutara fics. Fanfiction as a genre is largely female-centered fantasy. Yes, even those lurid fics you're thinking of. People write and read these fics for completely different reasons and have completely different expectations than when watching a series like ATLA. Trying to say that someone can't criticize the way the show presents Aang kissing Katara after she said she was confused as a mistake to be glossed over (that is forgotten as soon as it happens) because they also happen to like reading darkfic is nonsense. There's also a long history of women's interests being policed that informs my views here, vs the fact that consent has only fairly recently become a conversation in mainstream media. You have only to look at the way the show itself portrays Katara having interests (especially in boys) outside of Aang as dark and dangerous to see this happening in ATLA itself. Or the way the creators got away with saying that zutara shippers are doomed to end up in abusive relationships while painting Aang as a typical Nice Guy stereotype who expects Katara to magically become his girlfriend (and gets angry when she doesn't) and seeing nothing wrong with it.

The thing is that zutara, if we look at the way it's written in canon as a metaphor for a romantic relationship, follows the same tradition of how fanfiction has historically existed as an exploration of romantic and sexual dynamics. Those conversations about consent are actually happening and being explored in fanfiction, even the dark stuff, whereas relationships that are presented as "wholesome" often push us to NOT have those conversations. So when I say shipping isn't morality, what I actually mean is that noncanon shipping and darkfic actually has more of a moral leg to stand on than uncritically engaging with relationships on the grounds that Aang is the hero so his goodness and worthiness to get the girl should just be assumed. Zuko has to work for his right to be in a relationship with Katara because he didn't start out from a place of goodness, and that, on its own, is very female centered because instead of starting out from the perspective of the male hero deserving a relationship by virtue of being the hero, we see the idea that a man has to work to gain a woman's respect and affection.

So it's not so much that I hate KA, but I hate the idea that we should engage in it uncritically. And that would be true even if it really was the most wholesome relationship in the world. The same thing cannot be true of zutara because even the darkest of darkfic are about women centering themselves in the narrative and engaging with power dynamics in ways that are subverting patriarchal norms about relationships by definition.

[stargazing-imagines]

Invisible — Conrad Fisher x Fem!reader

Description: every summer you always join your grandparents at there beach house at cousins beach because of your problems with your mom, but this time… let’s just say you aren’t the only grandchild to come along

Warnings: reader being ignored, mild abuse (just a slap on the face that’s all) hurtful words are said, and bad writing

Fandom: the summer I turned pretty

Requested: no

( Read part two here )

Every summer, your mother would drop you off at your grandparents house so she could have her freedom, but this summer was the one that changed your relationship with your family forever

Your grandparents have decided it would be a great idea for your oldest cousin and her two boys to stay with you guys during the summer because of her nasty divorce.

Of course you were excited about this, but you weren’t as excited with all the attention your cousin have gotten because of this

So this caused you to stay away from your grandparents beach house to hang out at the fishers beach house instead.

“Hey y/n!” Said Steven as he saw you enter the house “trouble at home?”

You looked at Steven before nodding your head, this time things were different.

The oldest son of your cousin was bragging about how he was the better one and talking about having his own insurance for his car when he turned 15, while you were trying to engage in a Conversation, let’s just say that you got talked over.

“Yeah, I needed to get away from the huggy and the wuggy that aiden watches.” You lied as you sat on the couch

“Hey, maybe you can bring Aiden over to play some video games with me and Jere.” Suggested Steven “that is if he wants to.”

“He probably will… is Conrad around?” You asked looking around the house

“H-“

“Y/n! What brings you by?” Asked Susannah as she gave you a hug “oh I heard what happened with your cousin, that’s horrible for her to go through a nasty divorce.”

“Yeah, it’s been pretty rough on her.” You said as you tried to fake a smile

Surely a divorce is awful, but it isn’t the end of the world.

“I remember playing with her when we were kids, she was a life of a party when it comes to parties.”

“Yeah… anyway is Conrad home?” You asked “I really need to speak to him.”

“Yeah, he’s around.”

“Thanks, I’ll just find him.”

With that you left,

After thirty minutes of finding him, you finally find him, so you walked over to him sitting next to him on the sand

“Hey y/n.” Said Conrad

“Hey.” You said with no expression, as you looked down at the sand

“What’s wrong?” Asked Conrad with concern laced in his voice

“My family been ignoring me again.” You said as you crossed your arms on your knees placing your head on your forearms

“Y/n, I hate to see you like this.” Said Conrad “you just need to stick up for yourself.”

“I know but sometimes its just hard ok.” You said as you were on the verge of tears “it doesn’t help when they have been doing it for years.”

After you said that, Conrad’s eyes lit up

“They’ve been ignoring you for years?” Asked Conrad “but… your relationship with your grandparents are great.”

“That’s because they raised me Conrad.” You said “and I get called shit because of it.”

“What do they call you?” Asked Conrad as he placed an arm around you, pulling you into an embrace

“They think I’m spoiled rotten and a burden to my grandparents.”

At this point, Conrad was fuming, just because your mom was a horrible mother doesn’t mean you are an attention seeker.

“I’m sorry, you had to endure that y/n.” Said conrad “if I could take the pain away I would but-“

“Just… hold me.” You said “that’s really what I need right now.”

You came back home and it was midnight, after staying with the fishers and conklins for a few hours, you finally returned home.

You opened the slide door as you carefully shut it not wanting to make a bunch of commotion, you walked further into the house before being stopped by your grandmother

“Y/n, why are you out there this late at night?”

“I was visiting the fishers and the conklins.” You said, slowly turning around

“Your always over there, I think it’s high time that you start staying on house arrest.”

“What so I can listen to Kelly nag and nag about how shitty her life is?” You asked “I don’t want to.”

Your grandmother eyes widen at the language that we’re using

“And you are to not hang around that Conrad fella either.” Said you grandmother “I don’t need you going around saying things like that when there are children in this house.”

At this point you were furious, so you did what you always did, run away from your problem, but that didn’t work because you were grabbed by the arm pulling you back

“Let go of me!” You shouted “your hurting me!” As you tried to free you arm from your grandmothers grasps

“You think I’m hurting you?” Asked your grandmother “this is hurting you, I never seen a girl that is so selfish that all she thinks about is herself!”

With that, you were slapped on the cheek, sending your hand to the sensation of the burn. In shock

“I hate you!” You shouted as you ran upstairs, and with with tears running down your face that. You cried yourself to sleep that night with a red mark on your face

——

Expect a part two of this coming soon!!

The summer I turned pretty masterlist

[verystrxxwberry]

Hi Alex! How are you? Thank you for keeping the fandom alive and still writing😭

Could you do eldarya routes hcs when the guardian gets jealous?

Thank you in advance❤️

ELDARYA; when you are jealous

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: Fluff, sfw, comfort, eldarya routes x reader. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi, I’m doing pretty good! It’s my pleasure to keep this loving fandom alive, I’m enjoying it a lot :). I must warn that I didn't check if it's well written as I am in the library with almost no battery and no charger for the pc! :') Please never be like me.

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EZAREL

You were in the dining hall after one of your quests having dinner with your boyfriend and your colleagues. There were people you didn’t know, but you knew that thanks to them the guards were complete and it all felt like a warm family.

Ezarel was talking with his friends, as always, being the clown of the room. You knew he had a great casual humor, not even trying hard to steal some giggles from the ones around him. You were focused on your plate, quite zoning out as you enjoyed the first meal of the day after a tiring mission.

You heard an annoying voice which tried to speak over the rest, probably to call everyone’s attention. You searched for the owner of that voice and found a girl, a kitsune you’ve never seen before and you wish you didn’t. She didn’t even care about your presence, her big, pink and shiny eyes were only focused on Ezarel as if he was the only one in the room.

She laughed at everything he said, her laugh similar to those typical noises that broke the peace when you had migraines. The way she rested her chin over his hand in an interested way, the way her eyes had been gazing at your boyfriend with clear intentions… everything about her was making your blood boil right now.

You were impatiently drumming your fingers over the surface of the table, your patience reaching near the end thanks to the presence of that girl. Ezarel noticed, his hand resting on your knee in a reassuring way to communicate that he noticed the intentions of the girl.

“Ohh, Ezarel! I am sure you make every woman in the room fall for you.” She winked at him, and you could simply wonder if this girl was stupid or her brain was kept inside her mom’s tummy when she was born.

Ezarel looked at you with a smirk after the girl said that. He then noticed that you seemed to hold back the urges of grabbing a knife and stabbing that girl to have a quiet and peaceful dinner. And trust me, he would’ve preferred if you did it.

His arm rested over your shoulders, pulling you close to him and saying with a confident tone: “Well, the only one I want to make fall for me has already fallen for me.” And you’d feel a couple of kisses on your head. You looked up and saw the disappointment on her face, seeing how her flirty smile turned into a forced and awkward one.

You smiled this time, trying to seem sweet and kind with your smile but unconsciously being proud of what Ezarel did.

Ezarel isn’t the type of guy that you’d have a problem with jealousy, as the minimum moment he sees someone being flirty with him, he quickly gets clingy with you so they can get off. It’s an act he does for yourself but also for himself. He adores seeing the disappointment in their eyes as well.

But everyone deserves to know that his heart has an owner.

NEVRA

One of the things that made you quite insecure when you started your relationship with Nevra was due to the past one night flings he's had before. You trusted him enough to know that his heart was devoted to you, but there was something about seeing him interacting with some of them that made you feel a knot tighten in your stomach.

Nevra seemed happy to see them, and not only that but they seemed to not acknowledge what personal space was, because their hand was constantly on Nevra’s arm and back. He had his arms crossed and found himself pretty straight, looking away from that person.

But still… Nevra did nothing to stop them! You glanced at them constantly, but Nevra was still allowing that touch.

Do not mistake him though. Nevra is allowing that contact because he is deeply wishing that you interrupt the scene with that person to mark your territory. He doesn’t wish to make you jealous, but he wants you to be possessive whenever someone is trying something.

If he sees that you do not interrupt, he’d make an excuse to leave. He knew you had seen it, but why didn’t you go for it? He’d approach back to you, saying “I thought you’d bark at them as you should…” he pouted, embracing you by the waist. Nevra would tease you for being jealous though, but he’d stop it to reassure you that he was allowing it to see if you acted. After it, he wouldn’t let anyone get too close, because he wasn’t even comfortable with it.

If you interrupt, his heart would be doing backflips from the excitement. For him, the hottest thing to see is you being possessive or mad, asserting dominance in the situation. Nevra would be smiling proudly, nodding his head as he agrees with every word coming out from your mouth.

He will reward you for making you go through that moment, not wanting to hurt your feelings over a joke. Nevra isn’t serious about it and doesn’t even think about those people anymore. You are his one and only, and he will make sure to reassure you if he finds out that the little joke made you feel insecure.

VALKYON

He is good at reading others’ intentions and is more protective over your relationship than you’d expect. The moment someone tries to flirt with him, his honest reaction is to ignore or to say “yeah, my partner must be waiting for me, bye.”

So you’d never have a reason to be jealous. He is attractive, he knows it and also knows how needy for affection people are.

You’d actually feel jealous of overhearing some creatures talking about how hot Valkyon is. You couldn’t agree more. The moment they started talking about asking him to go on a date, or to probably have a night stand as Valkyon used to have long ago, you felt a burning sensation on your chest. They were disrespecting Valkyon and you, and they still didn’t care.

You didn’t realize the big sigh you released, making Valkyon, who was waiting with you for the next meeting to start, know that something was going on through your mind. He didn’t pay attention to the voices you were clearly listening to all the time, so he didn’t know why you seemed so upset.

“What’s wrong?” He’d ask you in a casual way, looking at you with attentive and worried eyes. You knew that your feeling wasn’t his fault, so you spoke calmly to him “once again you are making people drool over you.”

Valkyon would find it amusing, not that they were simping for him, but your reaction was endearing. He’d caress your hair and say “stop listening to them, it is making you moody for no reason.”

And he’s right. Valkyon never doubts when it comes to rejecting someone, so you are truly his one and only in mind.

He’d kiss your shoulder in reassurance in case you’d be too upset of hearing them. And whenever he hears someone drooling for him, he’d also get clingy to make sure they know he is almost married.

LEIFTAN

He is completely different from Valkyon. He doesn’t know how to read the environment, he doesn’t know when a person is coming to him with flirty intentions and he doesn’t even know he is attractive enough to be flirted at ! !

You have to be his protective dog because this man would be awkward around flirty people, but wouldn’t know that they are currently flirting with him.

Leiftan was crossing his arms, laughing awkwardly as a mermaid complimented him for his last mission success. Leiftan is kind, sweet and he is good with words, so he had dealt with many people ranting to him about their problems just for advice.

He was waiting the whole time for the mermaid to explain a current serious problem but she was actually just over-complimenting him. He’d look around, looking for you. You’d see the fear in his eyes, like a puppy searching for its owner’s comfort. 

Leiftan would never go along with the play to make you jealous or upset on purpose, he’d never be the actual reason for you to get mad. He’d be begging you with his glance to come and interrupt the moment.

So you’d have to act and get close, giving him a nice kiss as a greeting. The mermaid surely looked awkward, but that ceased her from keeping with those compliments.

Leiftan would express his gratitude openly once she is gone.

LANCE

You didn’t know why Lance had to be so kind. He was very devoted to the guard, but he was sometimes taken advantage of his generosity to do extra work. And hard work is paid with more work. 

You didn’t really understand why one of the girls in his guard had to ask him for help to reach something from a tree. Lance didn’t even think of his actions and he acted pretty casually, after all, he had no other intentions than to help that short creature just to reach something from the tree.

Seeing how the strong hands of Lance wrapped around her waist and raised her gently for her to grab something from the tree made you tense up. And not only that, but also seeing how she seemed to blush and get giggly from his touch.

Lance was probably too oblivious to see that the girl was doing that to get touched by him. And your theory got stronger when it seemed that she didn’t find what she was searching over the tree. What a coincidence! When Lance asked what it was, she simply said it was nothing and put a shitty excuse you’d obviously identified as a lie.

The way your eyes narrowed in an intense and sharp way made him shiver when he started to approach you. Lance doesn’t know why you are so upset, so he simply goes and asks “bad day?”

“No, no. Great.” You said in a sarcastic way. He raised a brow, confused. He indeed got it that something was pissing you off, that’s why he placed both of his hands on your shoulders. “What’s up, dear?” And when you explained to him what just happened he felt immediately guilty of not getting the intentions of that girl before.

He immediately apologized and hugged you. Lance feels bad by the fact that he didn’t realize earlier what the intentions of that girl were. But from now on he’d make sure that helping someone doesn’t involve them taking advantage of Lance.

MATHIEU

Similar to Ezarel, he finds it easy to make everyone laugh in the room and he has found many people following his little games in the guard. Others might not like him very much, but he doesn’t really care.

What he didn’t expect is for him to get surrounded by a group of brownies as he explained some funny stories of him in the human world. It was indeed funny, but not too much when those girls were clinging onto his arms.

Mathieu honestly panicked, and instead of staying still, he got overwhelmed and probably did a rough T pose to get free from those brownies. “Haha, ladies, please… I would like to go…”

He knows you are watching that and he almost cries at your upset face and the fact that the brownies are like pigeons to the bread. And he is the bread.

Mathieu doesn’t enjoy any deep attention that isn’t yours. Yours is the best attention, others’ feel overwhelming.

You were staring at them, hoping they soon realized that Mathieu was uncomfortable. Yet they were annoyingly breaking the personal space, so you had to clear your throat to call their attention. “May I steal my boyfriend?” And you saw how they immediately went away.

Mathieu tells you that you are amazing and his savior. He has a golden retriever behavior, and even if he doesn’t want those situations to happen, he unluckily calls weird people's attention. So yes, you would have to interrupt the moment to kidnap a finally happy Mathieu.

He’d reward you with cuddles and some snacks so he can earn a smile from you. Mathieu doesn’t want you to be insecure because you are the perfect one for him, he doesn’t want anyone else. But in case you get insecure, you will have him giving you all the love he is capable of giving.

He’d still think that it is very attractive how you interrupt the people to save him from there.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[lucystark12]

how to convince the ga that byler isn't rushed (kind of just a rant about lettergate)

they need to and i mean NEED to vecna mike because the only way the ga will understand that byler has been built up since the beginning is if we’re given scenes in context. we as bylers obviously get it but byler is at risk of being labeled “too rushed” if they don’t put effort into referencing the important parts of mike’s feelings developing.

the audience doesn't really have a problem with believing that will is gay and in love with mike because there are things in his arc that are just obvious and clearly point to that.

but mike on the other hand is in the middle of a love triangle. unlike most of the other main characters, mike isn't open about his feelings. we don't get his internal monologue. he doesn't tell others how he's feeling. thats why its so easy for bylers and milevens alike to interpret his every move in either direction. it's purely because we don't know. so, in season five, there are things they have to address and give concrete meaning to so that people understand how byler actually does make sense.

the most important scene that i’ve already kinda talked about to do this is...

this one, obviously, the most important little part of all of byler's season three. i want vecna talking about this. i want mike thinking about this. it’s crucial. it’s essential. his behavior here is weird as hell! it even reads weirdly in a script that was released and then edited quickly after. it's important and it needs to be addressed and treated as such. in the script (forgive me if i'm off, i don't have a copy of it so this is from memory) it reads as "what's wrong with me?" that obviously points our way, but since we don't get his internal monologue there's no way to be sure. it needs to be addressed.

this is also kinda lettergate proof because i think the unsent letters and the fact that mike did try to call will also be essential to proving what was going on with him during the gap between season three and four. if i were in charge of the show, i would do a whole flashback sequence to these six months. i want to know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, what he's thinking, how the people around him are reacting to his behavior. we need a shot of the love, mike. it's SO IMPORTANT.

literally i could scream about how important (and likely) lettergate is.

one thing that REALLY scares me about lettergate is the possibility of them reddieying us. yes that is now a verb. for any of you who never had an it 2017 phase, reddieying is where richie and eddie, two characters, had feelings for each other but never admitted it. at the end of the movie after eddie dies, we get this scene:

this is what i like to call reddieying. and yes that is also finn wolfhard. this is why we are scared.

the letters could be used in a VERY similar way if either mike or will dies to express the love that they both once had for each other. closure of sorts. i think that would be VERY poor writing (we've all heard my theory about how mike's love for will is literally essential to the ending of the show) but i think it's highly possible especially given the overlap between it and stranger thing's fandoms. the letters could be read at the end in a similar way to the way hopper's was, sad heroes and all. this draws another parallel.

yes i am bringing newtmas into this. fuck you.

above is a letter written by newt from the maze runner to thomas. newt is confirmed gay by the author of the book, and this letter is written to thomas but never read by him until newt dies. letterboxd reviews of this movie read:

"that letter at the end was the gayest thing I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve seen call me by your name."

"homophobia is thomas reading newt’s declaration of love and the shot cutting to thomas scratching his ex’s name into the rock ABOVE newt’s"

"newt, to thomas: "and i remember you. [...] i knew i would follow you anywhere. and i have." me: *im ready to be queerbaited again meme*"

and i didn't even have to search for these. these were like the top couple reviews of the movie. they were all on the first page of reviews.

all i'm saying is, by having the letter be an idea in our minds, they've set up a way to kill off one of the characters and still have a slightly resolved, weirdly up to interpretation ending. i do still think it's poor writing. i could kind of go into that too if anybody is interested.

i think that if lettergate is used as a device during mike's flashbacks to show how long he's felt this way that they will be using this thing they've set up for good, however, if they newtmas us and reddie us i might die. just letting you know.

[mythicmanuscripts]

hi!! omg I love all your work — you’re so talented and it really fills a niche in the fandom that has a severe dearth of fics 😍

in your answer about the hotd boys being jealous, you described Jace’s reaction: “Yeah he’s upset. He tends to get quiet for a little while and then when you’re alone together he’ll kinda just burst into tears? Absolutely no warning just a full breakdown. Because he doesn’t think he deserves you.”

could you expand on this a little bit? would love to see an imagine on Jace not being able to take it anymore and having a breakdown out of the blue and reader comforting him! thank you!!!

Of course I can!!! If there's one thing I am always down for it's Jace angst.

There's nothing NSFW in this ask so there's no cut, but you should note that there's definitely implied sub!Jace so bare that in mind before you scroll :))

So firstly, after I thought about this a bit more I realised that I think a breakdown out of the blue would actually be a relatively common way of Jace expressing his emotions? He tries so hard to be strong and put together and he tries to be someone people can actually look up to. He tries so so so hard to make sure he's as perfect as he can every single time he's in public.

As a result, it's not uncommon for something to just be the straw that broke the camel's back and the next thing you know Jace is crying in your arms and you arent even sure what happened to trigger this.

I also think that with Jace, 9 times out of 10 whatever has triggered his upset is not the actual problem? He'll end up sobbing because he dropped his glass of wine and it broke but that's just the trigger and not what's actually going on. It's only after he's calmed down that he'll tell you about the fight he had with his mother earlier that day and that was the real reason for his outburst.

No matter how many times you try to get Jace to talk you before things overflow, he just doesn't. However, he does slowly start to realise you will always be there for him and so when he starts to feel that stress and upset he actually starts to warn you? He'll come to you and say he thinks he's going to have a breakdown within the next few days and then you ensure to stay by his side and watch out for it so that you can get him somewhere safe and look after him. Trying to get him to tell you about what is causing the stress and upset when he tells you a breakdown is looming only makes him more upset.

Him actually admitting to you that it's soon is already so much more than he has ever done before and you really need to just thank him for letting you know and promise him that you will be there when the breakdown does occur.

Anyway, that's my very long winded way of finally getting to the point of all this: I think that whole process of stress building until he explodes increases exponentially when you're being flirted with or someone is clearly trying to undermine his marriage with you.

The most common form this takes is people suggesting to you that your husband is a bastard and that you should leave before you're stuck with children from a bastard. Of course you couldnt give less of a shit about who his real father was. You love him for who he is and nothing will ever change that.

You couldn't care less about those comments but they always Jace to his core. If he hears it he's always quiet for the rest of the evening, and sometimes he won't even speak to you? He doesn't want to bother you, so he avoids you the whole evening.

When you finally see him in your shared chambers before going to bed he's still quiet and doesn't meet your eye. You go to bathe and get changed and then when you return Jace is curled up in bed crying.

You don't even ask any questions because you know exactly what's going on. You sit down on the bed and pull him closer. He goes easily, resting against you.

You stroke his hair and rub his back. You remind him that you love him and you couldnt care about what others think. He nods, and he appreciates the words he really does, but he's still sniffling and crying.

You used to get worried when this happened and would feel guilty that you couldnt work out what Jace needed. But now you've learnt that very often the only thing he needs is you. His emotions can be big and scary and he needs a place where he can experience them without judgement. So after you've reassured him, you stay quiet and just hold him until he calms down enough to pull away and thank you.

[a-very-tired-jew]

Fandomization, Fervor, and Fuck Off

A consistent and appalling behavior since October has been the fandomization of the I/P Conflict by anti-Zionists and co. Many of us on this site have documented and talked about such behavior. From my own personal experience it reminded me of certain anime fandoms back in the day when they first emerged. If you weren't talking about it and it wasn't all consuming then you were a problem. I remember conventions being hell as these new fandoms crashed photo shoots and panels that weren't about them. The way in which anti-Zionists crash into other issues to make it about their particular one is reminiscent of these behaviors. As I've stated before, my toes are dipped into a variety of scientific topics as an ecologist. One of them is climate change and for the past few months the conversation within CC spheres has been forcibly turned to I/P and the "wanton destruction of the Palestinian landscape by the evil Jews Zionists. Thereby proving they're not indigenous because no indigenous culture would destroy their landscape." Never mind that the conversation prior to that moment was about pollinator loss due to climate change and habitat loss. This is Fandomization and Fervor. The want to drive your fandom into every single topic and make it everything. But now? We're in the Fuck Off stage, and I don't mean this as us telling anti-Zionists to fuck off, I mean the Fandom is telling people within it to Fuck Off or, at least, shut up. Since the beginning of this conflict there have been moderate voices within the anti-Zionist activist movement. We talk about the outright antisemitic and hate fueled ones here, but don't talk about these persons enough. The Moderates are the ones within these spheres that get pointed to when we bring up antisemitism because they bring nuance to the movement and try to curb the worst of the vitriol. They are the ones that screen capped and held up besides the token "Good Jews". While they didn't necessarily have as much of an impact in the beginning of the conflict due to the lack of numbers and the overwhelming fervor, zealouness, and righteousness of anti-Zionists, they are being noticed now. Many of the spaces I am in that posted incessantly every day and had multitudes of conversations about I/P throughout them have now become relatively silent. There might be a brief conversation over the course of 30 minutes here or there, an article gets posted every few days, and the AJ update is the only daily posting. Now, when larger conversations kick off there is more attention paid to the Moderates and the nuance they bring because it's not rapid fire anymore. People don't have to scroll back through hundreds of messages to find the nuance, it's right there and it's loud and clear. So they're being told to Fuck Off In every space I am in I have seen some variation of "Shut up, every time you talk the conversation ends" told to the Moderates. Why? Because each time they are addressing something that would have radicalized people earlier in the conflict. They are addressing outright hate and/or contradictory messaging. The culmination of which has been talking about the Islamic Republic's recent attack on Israel. I have seen them blatantly call out their activist community for celebrating an attack by a country that stands antithetical to everything its members say they stand for (LGBTQ+ rights, women's rights, political rights, etc...) and jails, tortures, and kills people like them. As such, the Fervor and radicalization of new fandom members can't happen, and I see it angering the people whose entire identity has revolved around the Fandom and the hatred associated with it. The cognitive dissonance that the Moderates invoke in the radicals has resulted in some outright hatred in these communities that I thought was reserved only for us Jews. But now? Now it's clear that the most ardent members of the Fandom are just full of hate. That's it. They don't actually care of Palestinians, they just want to justify their hate and wallow in it.

[drak3n]

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE: PROLOGUE

ꨄ. SYNOPSIS: the launching of a new platform magically re-connecting seperated people has shaken the entirety of social media. after many months of contemplation and denial, you give in to your urges.

ꨄ. SENA’S NOTE: this merely serves as a way to introduce all eight parts of the mini-series! as they’re all characters from different fandoms, there clearly won’t be names or any specific action in this! so this is a little short :)

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE MASTERLIST

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

everywhere.

it was everywhere you went. following you around like it was your shadow, cornering you at any given possibility.

you knew the drill. once something went viral anywhere, it would stick around for some time and then be forgotten.

that wasn’t the case with this damn live show. not at all. the first time it had been announced on international tv must have been ages ago, like around the beginning of the year. yet, the hype never seemed to die down, with more and more people freaking out online and in real life about how it changed their lives.

you were convinced it was a scam. like come on, who even believed in a fairy tale like that? being reunited with a lost lover, or any kind of lover who it didn’t work out with?

there was a reason it hadn’t worked out. because if there wasn’t, you’d still surely be with that person.

it started with trailers being shown on every channel you zipped through, announcing free slots for their newest season and putting emphasis on their confidentiality. how people had the choice to stay anonymous while spilling their private and embarrassing matters to so-called love experts.

such bullshit.

now, it went way past that. you ended up avoiding watching tv, just to literally be haunted by that cursed show in other ways. through flyers and stickers flying around, through posters hung up on subway stations and even inside of said subways, hell, a couple of days ago, there was even an airship promoting it.

TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE. a silly name for a concept just as silly as that.

what did you have to do again to apply?

right, as if there was any way of forgetting with how much your coworkers were babbling about it. they made sure to remind you of that every day.

“i’m still thinking if i should just call them the next time and try my luck,” you heard one of many tell another while you were waiting in the line for your lunch. “i really, really want to make up with my ex. they’re my only hope.”

their conversation went on for many more minutes, and you were glad when you finally were next in line to greet the lunch lady with a tired smile. as she filled your tray in a halfhearted manner, your smile quickly faded away upon hearing her talk to a fellow worker behind the counters.

“my son and his teenage love reconciled after he applied there. they are awaiting their first child soon!” the elderly woman gushed while placing a cup of pudding onto your tray, waiting for you to scan your employee id before you shuffled away from the line to plop down on an empty space in the crowded lunch hall.

it was all the same. love, love, love. always those same old problems. getting dumped, being abandoned, or doing the dumping and abandoning.

regret, sadness, frustration, desperation.

you came home that sane evening with thoughts plaguing your mind; with the big question if those were all signs for you to see. if everything you’d been hearing and seeing for these past couple of months were meant to open your eyes, somehow. to get the hint.

making a beeline to your bedroom, your eyes darted to the package placed on your bed. still untouched and waiting to be sent. the pastel pink stamp had been placed on the corner of the box yesterday by you. those fuckers made so much money with their hit show that they distributed stamps, to force them to send more drama their way for them to indulge in.

it was stupid that you had even put in the effort to package what was meant to have been tossed away long ago. it might or might not have been long yet, but why did you keep that?

as a writer, you couldn’t contain yourself. even back then, you had always known you’d end up becoming anything connected to writing, journaling, whatever. it was almost annoying how you used to document all those feelings you couldn’t put into words.

specifically writing letters had always been your passion. writing down your heartbreaks and grief into words and making them come to life on paper.

words you failed to tell him.

the recipients were all written on the envelopes inside the box, some years ago, and some recently, and you didn’t even know if they were still the same addresses.

for some, you knew for sure they weren’t.

even if the cast of TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE — if they picked you, that is — wouldn’t find their current addresses, you were for sure going to be relieved. those letters had been a significant burden on your heart ever since you had written them.

for the first time in your life, you didn’t feel any kind of satisfaction from writing. these letters existed to be sent. and you were realizing it just now.

they were meant to be read aloud, understood. they had to be read by others for you to be at peace with your unresolved feelings.

the very next morning, you handed the package to the post office, bidding farewell to years of bottled-up and hidden feelings.

it wasn’t until a week later that you received a letter, with the same pink stamp and sender the same you had sent your letters to. you found yourself reading it in front of the door to your apartment:

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

dear contestant,

we thank you for your package and were enthralled to read about your experiences. upon short discussions within our team of experts, we soon decided to choose your case to present in our next live airing, which is going to be this saturday!

the letters have already been sent out to their respective addresses — some of which we had to adjust as there have been changes.

it is up to you if you want to join us for our next airing — it be via call or even by showing up at our studio! we will welcome you in any case and make sure you will reunite with one of your lost loves.

please do not worry, as we will handle all of your data with the utmost care and make sure that none of it is leaked for other purposes.

up until then, stay lovely and trust the process!

ꨄ. your TO ALL THE MEN YOU’VE LOVED BEFORE cast

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

PROCEED TO OPEN LETTER

THE LOST LOVE ꨄ TOJI FUSHIGURO

THE ONE NIGHT STAND ꨄ HIROMI HIGURUMA

THE NEMESIS ꨄ ATSUMU MIYA

THE BEST FRIEND ꨄ KEN RYUGYJI

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS GONE WRONG ꨄ SHUJI HANMA

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE ꨄ LEVI ACKERMAN

RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIMING ꨄ TOUYA TODOROKI

THE BOY NEXT DOOR ꨄ SHOUEI BAROU

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ♡•°`.

[hero-of-the-wolf]

So here's a thing me and @crazylittlejester have been working on. Enjoy :)

Summary: After a difficult journey during the day full of obstacles and hard battles, Time finds himself trapped repeating the same battle over and over again. He has no choice, if he wants to save his brothers. However every time he uses his ocarina to reverse fate, he finds the price of saving his lost companion is the life of another.

or: Time loop fic where everyone keeps dying and Time is the only one who can save them all.

Someone was talking.

Already?

Time sighed, resigning himself to wakefulness and opening his eye. Warriors was leaning over him, his hand already resting on his shoulder.

“It’s your turn for watch.”

Right.

Time sat up with a groan. It felt like no time at all had passed since they’d first set up camp. And before then, they’d been stuck in a grueling battle that had burned through most of their supplies. It had been a long day.

He glanced over to see Warriors smirking at him. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” The captain walked over to his own bed roll, no doubt excited at the prospect of a good night’s rest. “I was just thinking about how much ‘old man’ suits you, is all. I swear I could hear every bone in your body pop.”

Time rolled his eye, even though he knew Warriors couldn’t see it. “Very funny.”

“Thanks, I try.” Warriors flopped down on his roll dramatically with a sigh. “How are you doing, by the way?”

Time hummed at that. “I’m sure we’ve all had worse battles.”

“You’re not answering my question, Sprite.”

“I’m fine. Truly.” He sat down on the log Warriors had previously been sitting on. “We'll head to the nearest town to pick up some more supplies in the morning. Hyrule mentioned that we should be able to reach one by the end of the day.”

Warriors hummed in response. He fell silent after that, no doubt already giving in to his exhaustion. Good. He needed the rest. Time knew his shoulder was still bothering him, though the captain would never admit it.

He glanced up at the sky, noting the stars. They weren’t as bright here as they were at home, but they were beautiful all the same. The moon was out too, an almost sinister looking sliver of a smile. Time shook his head at the memories of a different moon with a sinister face and turned his attention to the fire in front of him. It was low already, but he was sure that it would last until morning. He took in a deep breath, savoring the peace that only being this deep in nature could bring.

A bokoblin’s horn reverberated through the previously still night air, making him jump.

“Everyone, up!” He shouted, springing to his feet. His sword was already in his hand. There was no time to put on his armor. The monsters were already pouring into the clearing.

Everyone scrambled to their feet, grabbing their weapons. There wasn’t even time to reach their shields. Time was lucky enough to have had an extra precious few seconds to grab his.

He felt Warriors’ back press against his own. He felt far too exposed without his armor. All of them did. But Warriors wasn’t afraid. He was annoyed.

“I can’t believe this,” he grumbled. “I got like, what, five minutes of sleep? Couldn’t they have waited until morning??”

Time's lips twitched up at that, despite their unfortunate circumstances. The poor captain had taken first watch. He’d gotten basically no sleep since their earlier battle, and he was prepared to make it everyone else's problem.

Time pressed harder against him, dodging the blow of an incoming lizalfos, and Warriors’ whining switched to complaining about his still sore shoulder.

Everything passed in a blur after that. Once the last monster was felled, Time hurried to do a headcount. They’d been at a serious disadvantage. He had faith in his boys, but he needed to make sure everyone was okay and accounted for.

Warriors was next to him, dusting himself off.

Twilight was helping Four back up to his feet.

Sky was sitting on the ground, looking winded but otherwise okay.

Hyrule and Legend were chatting off to the side.

That left….

“Has anyone seen Wild and Wind?”

Everyone’s attention shifted to him at that.

“I thought that they were with you,” Twilight frowned.

“I thought that they were with you,” Legend retorted.

“The last I saw them, they were over… there.”

Time looked where Sky was pointing. It was still far too dark to see clearly, so he cautiously approached, jerking to a stop when his foot almost slipped off the edge of a sheer drop. His heart plummeted straight down to his boots.

“They must have fallen down.”

The cliff was steep, but Time managed to find his way down to a sizeable ledge. The aftermath of a battle was strewn everywhere. They must not have been the only ones who had fallen. Warriors followed close behind, dropping down next to him.

By the time Time found them their bodies were still warm.

He fell to his knees, desperately checking for any sign of life. He was too late. Too slow. He—

From behind him, Warriors came to a sudden stop. A horrible keening sound escaped him, one that would haunt Time for the rest of his days. He stumbled to his side and drew the two younger boys into his arms. Time forced himself to his feet and stepped back. Almost on instinct, his hand reached down and clasped his ocarina. He could still fix this.

“Captain… it’ll be okay.”

Warriors looked up at him, distraught. Even after a whole war of losing people, the grief of death was something nobody could ever get used to. Not even the captain. “How can you say that? This- This isn’t okay.”

Time smiled at him sadly and raised the ocarina to his lips.

The song was one he knew all too well. The rhythm of time slowed to a stop, then started reversing. Time went as far back as he could, before ending the song and breaking into a run. He knew where they were now. He could get to them in time.

The ledge they’d fallen down to was hard to see from up top in the predawn darkness, but he knew exactly where to go. When had they even fallen? Everything had happened so fast. He climbed down as quickly as he dared. He needed to be faster.

Wild and Wind were surrounded by monsters. Wild was already hunched over, clutching at a red stain on his side that was rapidly growing.

Time almost lost his grip when Wind yelled in pain and collapsed. No.

He dropped down and unsheathed his sword, swinging it in a wide arc. The three lizalfos in front of him were cut down before they could even blink, let alone jump out of the way. A large black moblin rounded on him next. He parried its spear and stabbed it straight in the gut. He didn't have time for this.

“Tell me about your island, Sailor,” Wild’s voice, as quiet as it was, seemed to echo in his skull. Those were dying words. But he was so close!

Everything else drowned out but the sword in his hands and the words in his ears.

“It’s beautiful,” Wind whispered. “There’s a fairy fountain at the top… top of the mountain, y’know. And a bridge… bridge’s broken, though. And my sister… and grandma….”

Another moblin.

“Champion?”

Two bokoblins.

“I’m here, kid.”

“Not a kid,” Wind rasped. The fire in his voice was fading fast. They were running out of time.

Only a lowly bokoblin was left, standing between him and his fallen brothers. Time glowered at it, leveling his sword.

Nothing was going to stand between him and his brothers. He swore to Hylia that he wouldn’t let this be the end for them.

The bokoblin charged. A fatal mistake. Time easily deflected its blow with his sword, twisting around to stab it in the back.

The last monster fell. Time sank to his knees at his boys’ side again, heaving a sigh of relief. He reached into his pouch with trembling fingers, grabbing the first bottle he could find and pulling it out. The fairy flew out without delay and circled around the two boys. Their wounds disappeared. Like none of it had ever even happened.

Wild sat up, a smile already on his face. “Hey, old man.”

Wind was still clutched in his arms, blinking up at them both. Then he smiled, too. “Took ya long enough.”

Time closed his eye, just for a moment. They were okay.

He didn’t really have the time, but he couldn’t stop himself from clapping a firm hand on both their shoulders, checking them both over with his eye for any lingering injuries before getting up from where he was crouched in front of them. Sounds of clanging swords and frustrated shouts came from overhead where the others were, and Time knew he had to get himself and the boys up there to help as soon as possible.

Wild was easiest to help back up over the ledge. The kid was terrifyingly gifted at scaling up cliffs, and only needed a bit of a boost from Time to help him get up there faster than he could have on his own. The second the champion completely disappeared over the edge and back onto the cliff top, Time turned to Wind, locking his fingers together to provide a hopefully steady foot hold.

“Ready, kid?”

Wind nodded sharply, a determined look on his face, before placing his small boot in Time’s hand and reaching up towards where Wild’s hand was extended down for him to grab. Time helped shove him up as far as he could, supporting the little pirate’s weight as much as he was able to until Wild got a firm enough grip to haul him back to safety.

Unfortunately for Time, there was no way the two younger heroes would be able to pull him up as well. The ledge was high enough that he couldn’t get a firm grip by jumping for it, not that he wanted to risk falling to his death should he lose his footing, and it was too dark to properly see how much space he had.

Warriors’s face poked over the edge, giving him a familiar crooked grin.

“Well you’ve gotten yourself rather stuck, Sprite,” his brother teased, and Time couldn’t help but instinctively cross his arms over his chest and glare up at the captain in defiance at the tone in his voice. It wasn’t his fault he’d gotten trapped down here, he was saving Wind and Wild’s lives!

The image of their bodies flashed across his mind and his expression dropped as he felt his breath catch in his chest.

He forced himself to shake his head to free himself from the sight of a fate that no longer existed.

Warriors’s hand reached down just low enough for Time to grab when he ran and jumped for it, and there was a moment when his hand clasped around his brother’s where he was terrified his weight would drag them both down over the edge, but a second pair of hands reached down and grabbed his forearm, helping the captain pull him up.

Time allowed himself five seconds to pant in the grass on his back before forcing himself to sit up, giving Sky a grateful nod for helping him before taking Warriors’s offered hand and letting his brother drag him to his feet. He looked around for Wind and Wild, squinting to make out their shapes in the dark, and spotted them with swords raised, helping Legend fight off a large group of Lizalfos. They were moving okay, they were breathing, they were fine.

He saved them, and now he had to help the others finish this battle.

They could do it, they’d done it a hundred times already. There was nothing even special about this group of monsters, they were all going to be just fine.

He hated that he hadn’t been able to go back far enough to give them enough time to put their armor on before the battle started. Time couldn’t help the surge of anxiety that blossomed when he felt Warriors’s spine press into his back when the captain’s shoulders met his, unprotected from his usual amount of armor. His brother was too vulnerable like this, they were all too vulnerable like this.

The captain groaned when Time’s shoulder slid against his.

“You okay?” He asked quickly, shifting so he wasn’t leaning too much on his brother. Warriors’s shoulder had been dislocated earlier in the day during the previous battle, and while he’d had a red potion or two shoved down his throat, Time had no doubt it was probably still sore.

“No, I’m not okay,” the captain whined, and he didn’t have to be facing him for Time to know with certainty there was a pout on Warriors’s face. “Can a man not sleep for more than five minutes without having something happen to him?? Hylia!!”

“What has the world come to?” Time sighed, overdoing it a little on the sadness he forced into his voice.

Warriors pushed against his back roughly in retaliation, grumbling something under his breath that he couldn’t hear.

They worked together to beat back the monsters that had surrounded them, and Time tried to focus on his brother behind him instead of letting his mind drift back to Wind and Wild’s bodies. Each bokoblin he cut down made him feel further and further from what he’d just seen, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of shock he’d felt.

Life was a very fragile thing. None of them were going to live forever, but those two were just kids. This was not their place to die.

“We’re so fucked, why are there so many of them??” Warriors sighed, and Time couldn’t find his voice to agree with him. Not after what he just saw. Not after what he’d erased. He refused to believe they were ‘fucked’.

He had a second chance, he wasn’t going to let anyone die, not this time. He’d already healed Wind and Wild, he just needed to keep an eye on them and all the others and they’d pull through as they always did.

Something swooped down towards their heads that Time couldn’t quite make out in the dark, and while he’d managed to duck out of its path, the thing hit Warriors square in the face.

“What the fuck!!” The captain screamed. “What was that?!”

“Keese!” Hyrule shouted from somewhere to Time’s left. He couldn’t spare a second to look over at the traveler, he was too busy trying to defend both him and his temporarily stunned brother.

“Why!!”

“Fuck you mean, ‘why’??” Legend yelled.

Time swatted at the damned keese with his shield when it swooped down at his head again.

“Just be glad you didn’t get hit by a swarm of them!” Hyrule laughed. “That one must not be from this era, my keese never travel alone!”

It took Warriors an embarrassing number of tries to cut it down, and by the time he had, Time had mostly cleared out the bokoblins around them. He took a moment to breathe and try to spot Wind and Wild in all the chaos.

“Look out!” Twilight screamed, and Time ducked, shoving Warriors out of the way as well when an axe went flying overhead, glinting in the light of the moon. Thankfully it embedded itself in a nearby tree as opposed to any of the boys.

“Thanks, goat boy!” The captain called back, brushing himself off as he got up, holding out a hand to help up Time.

He missed the concerned look Warriors gave him as he steadied Time on his feet, he was too busy looking around the clearing, counting seven hylian heads still up and moving. Once sure everyone was safe he couldn’t help but feel anger towards himself for being so distracted that he’d almost allowed himself and Warriors to get hit by a flying axe.

“Hey, everything okay?” His brother asked, kicking a bokoblin he didn’t recognize down when it waddled a little too close, bringing his sword straight down into it and ending the little creature. “You didn’t hit your head on the way down to get Wind and Wild, did you?”

Time didn’t have a chance to open his mouth before Warriors grabbed his chin and started moving his face around to check for cuts or marks where he might have been hit.

He swatted away the captain’s hands, ignoring the way Warriors raised an eyebrow at him and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“No, I’m fine,” he told him, and he meant it. He was fine, so were Wild and Wind, and so were all the others. He just had to get out of his own head and focus, this was no time or place for mistakes.

“Are you sure?” Warriors questioned, because of course he wouldn’t just drop it. “You seem really distracted and a bit out of it.”

“I’m fine,” Time repeated with an annoyed huff. He could argue with his brother later, right now he had to focus on killing monsters.

He got lucky when a lizalfos jumped down on the other side of the captain, freeing him from whatever lecture on hiding injuries Warriors was no doubt prepping to give him. It didn’t take long to deal with the monster, and in all the chaos it was quite easy for Time to slip away to another side of the clearing.

He headed over towards Four, who was singled out by a group of bokoblins. The poor young man was doing his best, but there was no one near him to help at all, and from what Time could see through the darkness, no one else was in immediate need of assistance.

“Oh Hylia, thanks,” Four wheezed when Time was able to take out a huge wave of bokoblins in one swing with his significantly larger sword.

“Any time,” he said quickly, swinging again, this time in a large arc right over Four’s head when the younger hero ducked.

Legend came sprinting past with an enraged cry, chasing after a moblin that kept bouncing out of the way of his swings.

“Fucker!!” He screamed when he missed again.

Time snorted, taking a moment to check on Wind and Wild one more time. They were a terrifying duo, with Wild dancing about and weaving between the monsters, shoving them right into Wind’s sword. Every time they successfully got another one, the pirate let out an evil little cackle, the faint light making his eyes sparkle.

They were fine, and the number of monsters was finally getting smaller as less and less of them swarmed into the clearing.

His mistake had been allowing himself less than a second to believe that they were all going to be fine.

He hadn’t even seen it happen, his back was turned, all he’d heard was a sickening crack followed by Legend’s awful scream. He felt his breath catch in his throat but he couldn’t hear anything besides that awful sound the vet was making and his own pounding heartbeat. He knew what he was going to see when he turned, he knew, and he didn’t want to look, but he couldn’t stop himself. Time whipped around to look at them, so quickly that he felt nauseous, although that might have been because of the angle Four’s neck had been twisted at, or the way his lifeless eyes were still staring up at the sky, or the horrible way his dead body was sprawled in the grass.

Time didn’t waste a second, he couldn’t bear the sight of one of his dead brothers a second longer. With trembling hands he brought the ocarina to his lips and began to play as warm tears ran down his face.

READ THE REST ON AO3!!! :)

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm seeing a lot of asks about this and I want to give my two cents: I'm cool with Bruce being a bad father, but only if DC admits that he is a bad father.

You can't have him doing downright abusive shit only to never address it. The only character that consistently criticizes Bruce parenting is painted as entitled and vindictive. I genuinely think the reason why we can't have a decent Red Hood arc is because if you want Jason to make sense you're gonna have to admit Bruce is a fucked up father or rewrite canon.

Same reason for Tim "never aging", not so much physically but emotionally. Because to have the character establish itself like Nightwing did you would need to address at some point all the bullshit he went through. Even with Dick. Like sometimes it looks like they want to recognize how being raised by Batman fucked him up by they end up settling for "oh it's the pressure". Like that's the most DC will say "Batman puts his kids under a lot of pressure buuuuuut it's justified because they're fighting evil :)".

Not just the kids, I think Batman himself would be so much more interesting if DC was willing to let him confront these things. As a redemption arc or as a fatal flaw that keeps his family at arms length. But they want to have their cake (have Batman be edgy and give the Robins Character Development™ through good old child abuse) and eat it (have Batman be Dad of the year). And that's what doesn't work.

Batfam fandom is great because you have people making content for Good Father Bruce, Bad Dad Bruce (he's trying and it's a bit funny/tragic), Awful Father Bruce (with no intention of changing. Every option is way more interesting than DC's directionless mess. Like, we don't even need them to make Bruce Good™ we just want them to pick a side and stick to it.

Thank you. My gods that sums it up perfectly.

Like, I've got no problem consuming Good Dad Bruce content... if it's not the comics. The animated stuff is usually fine, and fanwork is also great. There's a ton to like about it.

Hell, I'm even chill if Bruce makes mistakes and errors and fucks up with his kids. That's realistic, as long as they address that he did, in fact, do that shit. They need to talk about how his actions have hurt his kids and his relationships with them. He can try to do better, or he can stay distant with his kids because of it (low to no contact). It's truly not that difficult to chat about.

Now, media that addresses all of the horrid stuff he's done and considers realistic reactions/solutions to it? Fantastic. I love that so much. It's so cathartic watching him get his ass handed to him.

It's not necessary, though. I'm chill with good dad Bruce.

Despite that, outright ignoring what he does or brushing it under the rug? That's horrific. That reads like a sickening cycle of abuse, and I can't stand it. It's the exact same shit an abuser pulls by harming their victim (psychologically, mentally, physically, etc.), apologizing (ish), finding a way to pin the blame back on the victim, and then love bombing. Like, my gods. Bruce will beat the shit out of Jason and say it's Jason's fault for killing someone... "I wouldn't harm you/take a machine to permanetly fuck up your brain if you didn't do that. It's not my fault that I decided to hurt you. It's your fault that I did."

I just fucking can't.

I think Tim, with his little statement of "I don't expect you to apologize" after Bruce caused him to have a nervous breakdown post 16th birthday, that's a close approximation to admitting that Bruce is a piece of shit that does tendencies like an abuser. No matter what someone's intentions are, they should still apologize if they've cause unjustified/unintentional harm. Only assholes who don't regret their actions or people who feel their actions are justified won't apologize. There's times when apologizing isn't necessary or desired. That's fine. I won't apologize if Comic!Bruce and I are in a room, and I "accidentally" set him on fire.

Yet, Bruce is out here fucking up his kids. At the very LEAST, they deserve a fucking apology. Maybe a restraining order.

I ranted a bit. My bad. Anyways, have DC acknowledge the shitty actions Bruce does or don't have him do them. It's simple.

[queenofthearchipelago]

Hey! I just saw your post about some meta doing good but then misunderstanding the characters at some point. If you do not mind sharing, what are certain misconceptions that you usually see and don’t agree with?

Hi! I don't mind sharing but before I answer this I wanna say that I do love that this fandom has so many interpretations of Aziraphale and Crowley's actions and thoughts and motivations. I think some of those interpretations don't always line up with everything we see of them in the show and I feel that both of them have areas where they can be misunderstood. But if anyone reading this finds themselves disagreeing with me, that you do see some of what I'm about to say in their characters, I'm not trying to take your version of Crowley and Aziraphale away from you and like, ruin that fun by saying people are wrong, or something. Fandom becomes really stiff when the culture only has one idea of who the characters are.

That said, I'll start with Crowley because I've always found him most relatable, and so I think about his character more than Aziraphale's.

The first thing is Crowley's temper. I've read quite a few metas talking about how Crowley needs to better manage his anger because it shuts Aziraphale down and makes it harder for him to talk. I don't see this. I mean, yes, Crowley has a temper. Crowley has been shown to be angry. But I've not seen it shut Aziraphale down. When Aziraphale gets nervous around an angered Crowley, it's always because Crowley has said something blasphemous. Such as at the bandstand when Crowley is cursing the Great Plan. Aziraphale becomes scared FOR Crowley and Crowley is never angry AT Aziraphale. I can't think of a scene off the top of my head where anything Crowley does makes Aziraphale feel like he can't say something he clearly wants to say.

But also, I feel that this take of Crowley's character, that he struggles with his temper around Aziraphale, somehow erases how gentle he really is with Aziraphale. He's always so patient with him, even when it would make sense for him to be off the rails angry. And also also, the two main times we see Crowley lose his temper around Aziraphale (the bandstand and then the fight in episode 1 of this season) are both times of great desperation. The world was ENDING. He was SCARED (He's really good at hiding how scared he is). And then Gabriel shows up and Crowley doesn't know how but he feels this will disrupt every single good thing in his life. And so he explodes in the street, something we don't have reason to think Aziraphale saw. Crowley literally left to go cool down. I think he did his best.

I also see a lot of metas speak to Crowley's apparent lack of self-worth. I've spoken about this before, I think Crowley is very confident in who he is. I think he knows himself better than Aziraphale knows himself. Crowley has ALWAYS known who he is, his arc is not one of self-discovery. It's actually Crowley's dedication to being himself despite what Hell would have him be that causes him conflict and intrigues Aziraphale so much.

That also leads into this idea that Crowley can't see himself clearly and therefore can't accept Aziraphale's love. As if he can't comprehend why Aziraphale might love him. But, we literally watch as Crowley graciously accepts every advance that Aziraphale makes. Crowley is the one who "goes too fast" and he probably has a lot of joy every time Aziraphale makes another step forward. It's Aziraphale who said, "Let's go out for lunch" the first time. It's Aziraphale who invited a demon into the bookshop meant to be an embassy for Heaven. It's Aziraphale who said "our car", and then Crowley gave him the keys. Crowley even blatantly says, "We've spent our entire existence pretending that we're not." This implies that he KNOWS. He knows Aziraphale has been pretending too, for 6,000 years, and before that too. Crowley knows he's loved, the problem was that he wasn't allowed to be loved by an angel, and neither of them ever got to say it out loud.

And then there are other, smaller things I see in metas that I don't generally agree with (though I completely understand how people got there). Which is this idea that Crowley feels rejected by Aziraphale. I mean, yes, but also no. I don't think Crowley got in the car at the end and drove away thinking that Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him. I think he's more angry that every single time Aziraphale falls to Earth, Heaven tugs on this rope around his waist and pulls him back up. I think Crowley understands Aziraphale's dilemma a lot better than we think he does.

And also, more recently I've seen some speculation about how Crowley wanting to run away is somehow a character flaw? Like, I agree with the point that both of them were wrong. Fixing Heaven won't work, so Crowley was right. But also, running away isn't a long term solution for them because they both love Earth too much. But I don't exactly see this as a character flaw? In season 1 when he mentions running away, let me remind you that THE WORLD WAS ENDING. He was desperate and he was scared. And in season 2, it wasn't so much a plea to literally run away into the stars and escape as it was an immortal being saying, "Look, Gabriel and Beelzelbub did it. Wherever they are, they're together, and they're dedicated to being happy together. Can we do that? Can we do that forever? In this bookshop or in the stars (in a cottage in the south downs?) Because I love you and I don't wanna think about belonging to anyone else anymore. WE don't need to belong to anyone else anymore. What do you say?"

And as for Aziraphale, I've said before that I don't think he wants Crowley to be an angel so that he can love him more. Aziraphale loves him as he is. And I think there are more articulate posts out there outlining why. The ask for Crowley to be an angel again has nothing to do with Crowley himself except that Aziraphale thinks Crowley would be safer that way. Aziraphale can fix Heaven FOR Crowley. Crowley's fall was wrong and he can now right that wrong. This happened, tragically, because Aziraphale loves him exactly as he is. And as much as Crowley's heart is broken right now, I don't think he doesn't know that. He knows the love he's had from Aziraphale these millennia was real. He knows it.

This became an essay, maybe one day I'll figure out how to get my points across quickly lol. But yeah, these are just my thoughts about who I understand these characters to be in canon. And I know that even though it's been nearly a month since the season dropped, people are still working through all the details that led up to our favorite angel stepping into an elevator and the demon who loves him more than life driving away alone in silence. I'm honestly still working through it too, there's still so much to think about.

[etoilesbienne]

I try to be a fair person I try to be understanding. but I am sick and tired of having to read about the many sins of Léa for being a whistleblower. People are straight up putting words in her mouth for things she did not say.

Frankly I'm a little appalled that the MCYT community can have a huge moment about the heavy amount of misogyny present in the space and come away with the take she didn't actually experience hate from the fan community. No the other admins didn't not experience hate, but she didn't say that. She said she received hate for being the first person to come out. Or how she was discredited repeatedly and the "Jay" document was used to shame her pointedly and make her out to be unreliable and "a hater." Gee whiz I wonder where I've heard "she's just hysterical and took things too seriously and is a vindictive person out to get others projects to fail." That sure sounds familiar. Especially in CC spaces pertaining to women. Why would she be exempt from misogyny at the hands of the fandom?

Though the way people behave about former admins expressing frustration at the lack of internal translation is making me crazy. There is nothing wrong with Quackity speaking his native language in a stream for announcement. None of these admins ever said he was at fault for speaking Spanish, they were criticizing the lack of internal communication outside of the streams, and the fact the studios had no official translators on payroll to help with communication issues between languages. They aren't asking for him to speak English, tbf most of these admins don't even have English as a first language, why would they want a stream in a different language they aren't fluent in? I don't think Léa was expecting Quackity to suddenly start speaking French. They're asking for translations in the languages they do speak so they can understand these important announcements about their jobs, because they were not receiving the information about these announcements any other way. To be honest it still boggles my mind, even after all of this, that QStudios never even had official translators to relay messages between Quackity to other streamers and admins. Regardless, I feel like people are interpreting this pretty fair criticism of the complete lack of translation to non-English languages impeding the already barely existent communication to be as bad faith as possible from every side. On one hand you have people choosing to believe that is what the admins are saying and agreeing with it and then being racist toward Quackity over it, on the other hand you have people choosing to believe the admins are being racist toward Quackity and sending them hate over it. I'd be insane to deny racism toward Quackity wasn't also happening though.

I don't know what else to say than people who have been working insane hours for months on end to be exploited, and they're upset. This is a server a lot of people cared about as fans, of course the first person to come out and reveal the terrible conditions is going to receive the most amount of hate over this specific instance. It's not an unfounded claim. Have you seen the shit people say about Léa on twitter? It also doesn't mean the other admins didn't receive hate in their own regard, it's just the first person to come out is usually the biggest punching bag for it. Misogyny didn't magically dissipate from the fandom with the removal of a few problem CC. My god hear yourselves and the way you talk about a woman coming out as receiving workplace abuse.

[somedayslater]

i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(

For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.

I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.

Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.

It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.

And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.

In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.

And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.

And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,

,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...

And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).

the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri

the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue

the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan

the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto

the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend

thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!

thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)

im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive

thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)

and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry