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finelinefae · 2 months ago

Text

my darling

synopsis: a love triangle

word count: 10.8k

contains: angst angst angst, love triangle, mfm, best friends to lovers, boarding school, violence, unrequited love,

a/n: i wrote this for wattpad during the My Policeman era. I wanted to post it here after re-reading it. I remember this being one of the first pieces of fanfic i felt super proud of !! warning it is pretty sad

. . .

Then — 1996

Dear Diary,

Today we moved into our new home in Halton. It’s small, quaint, and quiet—very quiet. The kind of place where everyone seems set in their routines, the same patterns repeating every day. I already miss London. Mum says this will be good for us, though. Good to get away from the drama. Good to get away from Dad.

The house isn’t as big as our old one. I have to share a room with Delilah now, but it’s fine—I’ll be off to boarding school by the end of the summer. Mum says I’ll enjoy it since she went to the same school at my age, but I think she’s just trying to make me feel better. Who actually enjoys living at school?

It’s a three-hour drive from Halton, which feels like a world away. I’m nervous, excited, sad, and happy all at once. The feelings are so overwhelming they all blur together into something I can only describe as... heavy. Like my life is a snow globe someone’s just shaken up, glitter falling everywhere. It looks magical at first, but the reality is you’re stuck cleaning it up for weeks, finding it in the oddest places long after.

I miss my dog. I never got to say goodbye.

Dad cried when we left. I’ve never seen him cry before. He told me it wasn’t goodbye, just a "see you later." Mum always says Dad’s a good liar, but I don’t think he was lying this time. Maybe it was the tears—they don’t suit him.

Dear Diary,

Today I moved into my dorm at Southend Park School.

Mum was annoyed we had to wake up before seven to pack the car and drive me down, even though this was all her idea. She’s probably just tired—or maybe something else. I have a suspicion she’s met someone. I’m not sure how she moved on from Dad so quickly. Did she ever really love him?

My dorm has six girls, including me. I’ve mostly been talking to Ellis, who’s in the room next door. She’s fourteen, older than the rest of us, but only because her birthday is the 1st of September. Today’s the third, so her advantage is technical, but she likes to remind us.

Being alone here scares me, but it’s nothing new. Delilah always had loads of friends, and Dad was always working. Mum was usually out socializing, too.

Mum cried as we finished unpacking, promising she’d pick me up for half-term or that I could come home anytime. But I don’t want to go home. I hate it there.

Tomorrow is a full day of inductions, and I’m worried about making friends. Southend Park is a mixed school, and boys make me nervous. I’d rather have no friends at all than feel like I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I still feel like I’m picking up glitter from months ago. I wonder when it will finally stop.

Dear Diary,

I made two friends. You’ll never guess—they’re boys!

Their names are Harry and Dylan. They’re both thirteen, like me, but they feel older somehow. They even live in the same dorm and invited me over this weekend.

We met during lunch in the courtyard. I was sitting alone when Dylan walked up first, chatting easily and cracking jokes. Harry followed behind, much quieter. Dylan has blond hair and a small scar on his eyebrow from climbing trees back in Morston. Harry’s hair is thick and curly—I wanted to touch it but stopped myself because, well, that would’ve been weird.

Harry didn’t say much at first, though I noticed him glancing at me. When I met his gaze, he blushed and looked down at his extra-polished school shoes.

We didn’t talk much again until the end of the day, on the way back to the dorms. That’s when we compared timetables and realized we share four classes, including English Literature. It’s just Harry and me in that one, though.

I never thought I’d be friends with boys, but I like it. It feels different from being friends with girls—less pressure to act outgoing or girly. I hope we stay friends. I like them both a lot.

. . .

Then — 2000

“Hey, Harry,” Y/N called, running across the field toward the headmaster’s office where Harry stood, focused on his Nokia flip phone.

Harry glanced up, his expression softening when he saw her. He tucked the phone into his pocket and waved her over. Despite the end-of-day chaos, both were still dressed in their school uniforms. “Hey, baby.” He greeted her with a quick kiss, pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. He loved how perfectly she fit against him, as though they were made for each other.

“What’s going on? Aren’t we meeting Dylan to go to Ellis’ dorm?” Y/N asked, frowning slightly as she looked around for their other best friend.

Harry smirked, shaking his head. “We are, but Dylan got caught passing notes to Casey Becker in geometry. He’s stuck with thirty minutes in the headmaster’s office to make amends.”

Y/N chuckled, her laugh warm and familiar. “Again? He’s going to get himself expelled if he’s not careful.” She slid her hands under Harry’s blazer, warming them against his torso.

Harry brushed a strand of hair from her face, letting his thumb linger on her cheekbone. “How was your day?” he murmured, his lips brushing hers as he spoke.

“It was fine,” Y/N replied. “I scored three points in netball, and Tessa Riley gave me daggers in the changing room.” She giggled, leaning into him.

Harry smiled, pride gleaming in his eyes. “That’s m’girl.” He bent down and kissed her forehead gently.

“Oh, please, don’t make me sick,” a familiar voice drawled, breaking the moment.

“Hi, Dylan.” Y/N turned to see him strolling down the stone steps, his blazer slung over his shoulder and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. She leaned back against Harry, crossing her arms.

“Hello, my darling Y/N,” Dylan teased, his tone playful as he lit the cigarette with practiced ease.

“Seriously, Dylan?” Harry said, narrowing his eyes. “Do you really need another detention?”

“Don’t you smoke, Styles?” Dylan shot back, grinning. “Besides, Mary would love to see me again after our chat earlier. She’s got a soft spot for me.” He smirked, wiping his thumb across the corner of his mouth.

Y/N rolled her eyes, stepping away from Harry’s warmth. She was long used to Dylan’s antics—four and a half years of friendship had left little room for surprises.

The three of them had been inseparable since their first days at Southend Park Boarding School. Despite their differences in personality, they were like a family unit, supporting one another through the highs and lows of adolescence.

Dylan, the loudest of the trio, was notorious for his sharp wit and knack for trouble. Teachers despaired over his behavior, but students were drawn to his charm—especially the girls, who fell for his rebellious streak and the ever-present cigarette.

Harry, by contrast, was the golden boy: smart, polite, and beloved by staff. He balanced his role as student ambassador with captaining the football team, a position that made him one of the most popular boys in school. Dylan teasingly called him a “teacher’s pet,” but Harry wore the label without shame.

Y/N was the quietest of the three, rarely seeking the spotlight. She volunteered in the school library every Tuesday and spent her free time with her dorm mates. Still, Harry and Dylan were fiercely protective of her, and she often marveled at how lucky she was to have them.

The trio walked out of the school gates toward the housing blocks, their shadows stretching long in the late afternoon sun. Harry carried Y/N’s backpack on one shoulder, his free hand clasping hers. Dylan trailed behind, typing on his phone with an unlit cigarette between his teeth.

“Ellis doesn’t want you bringing anything to the party this time, Dylan,” Y/N warned, glancing over her shoulder. “You know what happened last time. If you pull that again, you’re getting kicked out of school.”

“My darling Y/N,” Dylan began with exaggerated sincerity, pausing for effect, “only for you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile.

When they reached her dorm, Y/N kissed Harry on the cheek and took her bag from his shoulder. “I’ll see you both later?” she asked, her eyes bright.

Dylan saluted her without looking up from his phone, while Harry smiled warmly. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, Harry,” she replied before disappearing inside.

Harry and Dylan walked in silence toward their dorm. The tension was palpable, Dylan unusually quiet as Harry’s mind churned with unspoken thoughts.

“We’re going to have to tell her at some point,” Dylan murmured, his voice low as the setting sun bathed the path in a golden glow.

Harry’s heart tightened. “No, we don’t.”

“Harry—”

“Shut up, Dylan. Nothing happened.” Harry’s voice was sharp, cutting Dylan off before he could continue.

They stopped, staring at each other, the air between them heavy. Harry’s frustration burned in his eyes, while Dylan’s sadness hung like a weight on his shoulders.

“I love her,” Harry finally said, his voice trembling. “I’ll never love anyone else as much as I love Y/N.”

Without another word, he turned and stormed into their dormitory, leaving Dylan alone on the pavement. Dylan exhaled shakily, the ache in his chest unbearable.

. . .

Then — 1998

Dear Diary,

It’s been a month since my fifteenth birthday, and Harry finally asked me out on a date. It feels like a dream, the kind where everything is so perfect you fear waking up to find it never happened.

To be honest, I think I’m already in love with him. He’s always been so kind to me, much more than Dylan. Harry carries my bag to class when I have netball, and sometimes, during English Literature, I catch him staring at me. There’s something about the way his gaze lingers that makes me feel seen.

In art class, he taught me how to use watercolors for the first time, his thumb brushing against mine as he guided me. Little moments like that remind me how much I care for him—so much that the thought of being without him feels unbearable. Is that dramatic? Probably. But I can’t help it if it’s true.

Even when I’m talking to Ellis during lunch or before bed, my mind wanders back to Harry—his smile, his eyes, the way he laughs at my jokes even when they aren’t funny, and how he hugs me differently from everyone else.

It feels strange to be fifteen and falling so deeply. What do I know about love at this age? How much further can I fall?

I think I’m going to love him forever. I hope he loves me forever too.

Dear Diary,

Harry kissed me today. My first kiss—with the boy I love most in the entire world.

I knew it was going to happen. We’d just finished dinner in the dining hall when he asked if I wanted to take a walk in the gardens. Dylan wanted to come along, but Harry shook his head, saying he wanted it to be just the two of us.

I felt a twinge of guilt when I looked back and saw Dylan standing there, his expression heavy as he watched us leave. He kept staring at Harry, even as we walked past the window overlooking the gardens.

Harry brought me to the tulips because he knows they’re my favorite. He said my braid looked pretty today, and that’s when I knew—I truly, completely loved him. It was the worst braid I’ve ever done, but he still thought it was beautiful.

We sat on a swinging bench, listening to birds returning to their nests. When he said my name, it sounded magical, like it had been made for his lips alone. I turned to look at him, and that’s when he leaned in and kissed me.

It felt like a scene from a movie.

No one ever tells you what it’s like to kiss someone for the first time. The way their breath mingles with yours, the world fading away as you close your eyes and step into a place so tender it consumes you. It makes you wonder if you’ve ever been truly loved before.

We only stopped because we heard a rustling in the bushes. We looked around but didn’t find anything, so Harry walked me back to my dorm. He kissed me again outside the door, and I floated through the rest of the night, humming to myself as I got ready for bed.

But when I think back to that moment, I could swear I saw a tuft of blond hair sticking out from behind a bush.

. . .

Now — 2000

Y/N sat cross-legged in front of the mirror on Ellis’ floor, carefully applying mascara as Fiona Apple played softly in the background. Ellis sat nearby, painting her nails a deep red.

“I’m just saying,” Ellis began, waving the brush for emphasis, “you and Harry have been dating for two years, and you haven’t done the deed yet?”

Y/N flushed at the mention of sex, shifting uncomfortably. She hated talking about it, even with Harry. Maybe it was because she didn’t know much about it or because she’d never had a safe space to ask questions, but every time the topic came up—whether in conversation or during truth or dare—she wanted to run for cover.

“We’re waiting for the right time,” Y/N said evenly, her voice robotic as she repeated the well-rehearsed answer.

“The right time?” Ellis scoffed. “I’ve never seen a couple more in love—it’s nauseating.”

Y/N hesitated, her mind drifting to moments when she’d wanted to take things further with Harry. But he always stopped before it went too far. Sometimes it made her feel like she wasn’t enough—pretty enough, desirable enough—but then he’d kiss her softly and remind her how beautiful she was, stroking her cheek as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “We’ve done... things, but not that.”

“Is Harry religious or something?” Ellis asked, narrowing her eyes.

“No, I don’t think so,” Y/N replied with a frown. “He’s never mentioned it.”

“Maybe he’s waiting until marriage,” Ellis mused.

The thought of marrying Harry made Y/N’s heart swell. She’d dreamed of it ever since their first kiss in the gardens—walking down the aisle in a white dress, Harry waiting for her at the end, tears in his eyes. Maybe they’d both cry.

“I don’t mind waiting,” Y/N said, her voice soft but certain. “I love him enough to wait as long as he needs me to.”

Ellis groaned, grabbing a bottle of vodka from her bedside table. “You can’t say stuff like that when I haven’t had a single drink.” She poured herself a shot and downed it in one go. “Okay, continue.”

Y/N laughed and turned back to her reflection, humming Queen’s Love of My Life as her thoughts drifted back to Harry.

. . .

Then — 1998

Dear Harry,

Today we went to the beach—the three of us. Me, you, and Y/N. I know in most situations it’s you, Y/N, then me, but in these letters, it will always be me and you.

We’d been planning this trip for weeks. It’s a three-hour drive to the coast from school, and Y/N had been complaining about the journey the entire time. I didn’t mind. Is it wrong of me to want to sit next to you on a bus full of people not one of them knowing who we are for three whole hours? Our knees touching for three whole hours? Sand on your feet and your hair salty from the sea, inhaling your scent and wanting your hand to touch my thigh for three whole hours?

When we got there, the morning was overcast, but by the time we hit the sand, the sun broke through the clouds. It was perfect. The light caught your skin, making it glisten, and your eyes shone with that impossible sea-glass green. I wanted to look into them forever, but you were too busy looking at Y/N.

I tried to catch your attention—touching your shoulder as I passed by, reaching for the beach bag at the same time as you, brushing my fingers against yours. But it didn’t matter. You only had eyes for her, and I only had eyes for you.

When you kissed her in the gardens, a part of me died. I had been pining for you for so long, silently hoping you’d see me, but it was always her. I felt stupid, running miles afterward, the wind howling in my ears: You fool, you idiot, how could he ever love you?

I didn’t want to feel this way, Harry. I tried to bury it, to pretend it wasn’t real, but when I met you, everything I’d hidden about myself unraveled.

The day wasn’t without its drama. Y/N, distracted, stepped into the road thinking the approaching van was the bus. You moved so fast, grabbing her and pulling her back before the van could hit her. I watched the terror flash across your face, the way you held her afterward as she cried. You kissed her forehead, comforted her, showed her the kind of love I’d only ever dreamed of.

And I hated her for it.

I feel terrible admitting this because I do love Y/N. I truly do. But most days, I hate her, and only because she has you.

When we finally got to the beach, the three of us ran toward the waves, shedding our clothes as we went, laughing like we were carefree children. For a moment, we were. We left our troubles behind in the sand.

You swung Y/N over your shoulder as you splashed into the water, and I couldn’t help but admire the way your muscles flexed. You were a work of art, Harry, something meant to be admired in a gallery. And I was nothing more than an observer, longing for what I could never have.

Later, Y/N went to get ice cream. Before she left, she asked for your order, and I already knew what you’d say—mint chocolate chip. The way she looked surprised made me feel smug for a second, but that quickly disappeared when she said it was her favorite too.

While she was gone, I felt a cramp in my shoulder. “Let me,” you murmured, and before I could answer, your fingertips ghosted over my shoulder, pressing into the tight muscle.

I couldn’t breathe, Harry. You were so close, your breath warm against my neck. For a split second, I thought if I just turned my head, I could kiss you.

I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live. Even if you do.

. . .

Now — 2000

Dylan and Harry were in their dorm room, preparing for the party. Harry stood in front of the mirror, anxiously gelling his hair back.

“I think I’m going to do it,” Harry said suddenly, turning to face Dylan. “I’m going to go all the way with Y/N.”

Dylan froze, his heart sinking. He lit a cigarette, trying to appear nonchalant as he perched on the windowsill. “Really? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” His voice betrayed him, tinged with irritation and jealousy.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m just saying, are you sure it’s the right time to sleep with her? After... what happened?”

Harry’s expression darkened. “Nothing happened. It was a mistake.”

“You keep saying that,” Dylan said, standing now, his voice rising. “Like you’re trying to gaslight me into thinking I imagined it. But I’ve imagined kissing you enough times to know what’s real and what’s not.”

Harry’s jaw tightened, his hands clenching. “I was drunk, and you took advantage of me.”

The words hit Dylan like a slap, but he forced himself to stay calm. “Don’t try that with me, Harry. It might work in your petty arguments with Y/N, but it won’t work on me. You’re the one twisting the truth to fit your narrative.”

“I don’t care what you think,” Harry snapped. “I only care about Y/N. And if you can’t handle that, maybe you need to step away—from both of us.”

“Step away?” Dylan said incredulously, his voice breaking. “You want me to walk away from the only two people who’ve ever cared about me? You want me to walk away from you?”

Harry hesitated, guilt flickering across his face. “You know how I feel about Y/N. I love her. I’m in love with her. Even if I felt something for you, it would never compare.”

“You’re lying,” Dylan whispered, his eyes glassy. “If you loved her so much, you wouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.”

“You don’t know anything!” Harry exploded, his voice shaking with fury. “Do you know what would happen if someone found out? What it would do to Y/N? To us? I felt nothing! It was a mistake!”

“Harry—”

“No,” Harry cut him off. “Whatever feelings you have, whatever intentions, you need to get over them.”

“That’s not as easy as you think—”

“You have to.” Harry’s voice was sharp, leaving no room for argument. Dylan stared at him, shattered, as Harry turned and stormed out.

He left Dylan standing there, broken, feeling like Harry had taken his very soul with him.

. . .

Then — 1999

Dear Harry,

We’ve been assigned as partners in media class, and now we have to make a music video. Naturally, you asked Y/N if she’d star in it. You told her she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen and that she’d be perfect for it. She blushed, of course, and said yes. Then you kissed her—so long and so deeply that I had to look away.

I imagined myself in her place, wondering what it would be like to kiss you in public, to have the world see how much I adored you. If it were allowed, I don’t think I’d ever stop kissing you.

Today, we filmed the music video. You wanted it to feel like a coming-of-age story. I’d wanted something more abstract, but I agreed to your ideas, nodding eagerly at every suggestion, whether it was brilliant or terrible.

We filmed in the gardens—my least favorite place in the entire school. That’s where you kissed Y/N for the first time, and if I could erase that night from my memory, I would in a heartbeat.

The sun was shining as you whispered into Y/N’s ear while I set up the camera. I tried to block out the sound of your laughter, the sight of her hand on your shoulder.

“Are we ready?” I called, my voice louder than I intended. You straightened up immediately.

“Dylan, why don’t you be in the video with me?” Y/N smiled warmly. She had that rare ability to make everyone feel seen, like she was radiating sunshine. It was impossible not to smile back.

“My darling, you know I’m not nearly as perfect as you,” I teased, watching her blush.

I don’t even remember when I started calling her “my darling.” The first time, I remember catching the flash of jealousy in your eyes. I liked that. I liked seeing you react to me, even if it wasn’t in the way I wanted. You’re used to it now, but sometimes, when I say it, I still see a flicker of something in your gaze.

The music video took all day to shoot. Every time Y/N nailed a scene, you rewarded her with a kiss. I worked hard too, Harry. Shouldn’t I have been rewarded in some way?

When Y/N left for her library shift that evening, it was just the two of us. You wanted to capture the soft glow of the sunset, so we stayed behind to get more footage.

“My mother wants me to go into politics,” you said as we sat cross-legged on the grass, the camera between us. “But I’d love to do this—be a director. I’ve always wanted to be an artist of some kind. It’s a silly dream, but I think about it all the time.”

I could imagine it. You had a way of leading people, commanding attention without being arrogant. You cared so deeply—for the art, for the people—that it would probably destroy you someday.

“It’s not silly,” I said. “It’s never silly to dream. My God, Harry, we only live once. Might as well do everything we can to feel something in the little time we have.”

You looked at me then, really looked at me. For the first time, I thought you might be feeling a fraction of what I felt every day. “I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Y/N knows.”

“It’ll be our secret,” I whispered. And for a moment, I could’ve sworn you glanced at my lips.

Then, just as quickly, you diverted the topic. Grabbing the camera, you aimed it at me lying in the grass. “Looks like Y/N’s not the only model anymore,” you teased.

I tried to act indifferent, but I would’ve stayed there all night if it meant seeing you laugh like that.

It makes me wonder, Harry—do you know how much power you have over your friends? Do you know that you have two people who worship the ground you walk on? How does it feel to be desired? How does it feel to have a choice in who you love?

. . .

Now — 2000

“You’re here!” Y/N beamed, running into Harry’s arms and wrapping her hands around his neck.

“Hey, baby,” he murmured, kissing her temple before setting her down.

The party was already in full swing. Students from across campus had crammed into Ellis’ dorm, the air thick with music, laughter, and the faint smell of alcohol.

“Hi, Dylan,” Y/N greeted, pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re dressed pretty smart. Planning on impressing anyone tonight?”

“Only you, darling,” Dylan replied, forcing a wink and a smirk despite the ache in his chest. Harry’s words from earlier still rang in his ears, but he pushed them aside.

Harry’s eyes darted to the cup in Y/N’s hand. “Have you been drinking?” he asked, his tone light but concerned.

“It’s water,” she whispered with a smile. Harry relaxed. She wasn’t much of a drinker, and he knew that.

“You look so pretty,” he said, marvelling at her dress. It was the one she wore for special occasions—one he had once told her was his favourite. A pang of guilt pricked at his heart as she looked back at him, her doe eyes filled with love.

“Come dance with me!” she said, pulling him toward the living room. “Both of you! My boys!”

Harry and Dylan followed her to the dance floor. The song Love My Way blared through the speakers, and Y/N moved between them, carefree and radiant.

At first, Harry danced with her, his focus entirely on Y/N. But then his gaze shifted to Dylan, who was swaying along with the music. Something unspoken passed between them, an invisible thread pulling them closer.

Harry laughed when Dylan moved towards him and for a moment they had forgotten everything around them. Dylan was just Dylan and Harry was just Harry, two boys who felt something they weren’t allowed to feel in the eyes of everyone else.

Harry was so close, their faces almost touching and for a moment Dylan thought they might kiss. But the blissful moment was broken as Harry stepped away, shaking his head, “N-No.” He whispered, “No, No, No.” He shook his head, his eyes frantic in search of Y/N.

“O-Oh, Harry,” Y/N yelped as he grabbed hold of her hand and lead her out of Ellis’ dorm and over to her own, three doors down from where the party was happening.

“What are you doing? Are you okay?” She cups his face in her hands and he exhales, trying to regain composure. This was the girl he loved, the only girl he could ever love and being in her hands felt like home. Didn’t it?

“Y-Y/N, I-I think I’m ready.” He presses his forehead against hers, kissing her bottom lip. “I’m ready.”

Her lips part in shock. She hadn’t been expecting this tonight and she wasn’t sure where Harry’s sudden desperation was coming from. He kissed down her neck as she tried to speak to him, “H-Harry, a-are you sure?” He nodded, his mouth leaving open mouthed kisses on her shoulder.

“I love you Y/N.” He looked into her eyes and she saw the sincerity behind them but also a hint of something else that she couldn’t quite place.

He started to peel her clothing off, his fingertips gently brushing against her soft skin. She tried to steady her breathing but her chest caved in and out as the oxygen in the room seemed to be escaping as he moved down her body. “Harry,” She whispered and he could hear the desperation in her voice. She reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers together.

Y/N was stripped down to her bra and underwear. This was the most skin she had revealed to anybody but she trusted Harry with everything in her, he was her best friend. He blew warm air over the thin material of her bra and her nipples hardened, an overwhelming sense of desire and lust flooding her insides. It was so new and overwhelming, her hands shaking as she ran her fingers through his hair and tugged on the roots.

“Baby,” He whispered, his hands cupping her thighs as he pressed kisses down her body.

“Harry, wait.” She murmured, his eyes looking up from where he was laying between her legs, “You’re still dressed.” She sat up and tugged on the hem of his sweater.

He laughed softly, as she struggled to pull the sweater over his head. She marvelled at the sound and kissed the tip of his nose. He pulled her onto his lap and she grinded her hips against his, “God look at you.” He whispered. “Don’t leave me Y/N. You can never leave me.”

“I’m never going to.” She said it like it was a promise.

His hands hooked the straps of her bra and he gently pulled them down, her breath hitching as the pad of his thumb brushed against the side of her breast. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in tightly, his face burying into the crook of her neck as he inhaled her.

This was going to be perfect, she thought, nothing could go wrong.

She grinded her hips against him again, a groan eliciting from his lip and a name escaping past the lips he had kissed her with so many times.

“Dylan.” Y/N froze. Her blood ran cold, and she pulled away as though Harry’s touch burned her.

“What did you say?” She pulled away, suddenly being naked in front of him didn’t feel right, being in a space alone with him didn’t feel right, everything she had ever felt for him before this moment didn’t feel right.

“Y/N,” He reached for her but she slipped away from him, slipped out of his touch, a touch she begged for just moments ago.

Harry’s heart no longer existed, wherever it was it had abandoned him and left him here in this terrible moment to fend for himself. He felt his eyes well up with tears as he watched Y/N try to pick up her discarded clothes. This wasn’t how it was meant to be, she was suppose to be picking up his clothes after a night making love to each other.

“Y-You said his name.” Y/N whimpered, she was panicking and Harry could do nothing but watch.

“Baby I-”

“NO.” She spat, “You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.”

Harry watched as she turned around and clutched at her head, her knees buckling as she fell to the ground. She sobbed and sobbed, his hear wrenching at the sound of it. He had never heard a sound so painful in his life and he wanted to die in this very moment.

“No, No, No, No.” She sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

“Y/N please just let me explain.” Harry tried, crouching down in front of her and trying to place a hand on her now clothed shoulder.

“NO.” She pushed him away and leaped back, her back hitting the wall.

Harry was broken. He was truly broken. This was something well out of his reach in fixing and nothing he could do or say could make up for the fact that he had hurt the two people he loved and cherished the most in this world, in the span of one night.

“Get out of my room!” She began to scream, “Get out of here!”

A knock at the door shattered the silence.

“Hey, you guys in there?” Dylan’s voice called from the hallway.

Before Harry could respond, Y/N lunged for the door, anger blazing in her eyes.

“Get out of my room!” she screamed, her voice raw with betrayal.

Harry caught her before she reached Dylan, her fists pounding against his chest. “I’m broken,” she whimpered, her strength fading. “You broke me.”

And for the first time, Harry knew what it felt like to be utterly powerless.

. . .

Then — 2000

Dear Diary,

You know those secrets so big they feel like they could swallow you whole? The kind you promise never to tell a soul for as long as you live? At first, they consume you, taking over every thought and breath. But over time, they settle into the corners of your mind, a quiet part of you that only stirs when something triggers it.

Well, today I made one of those secrets.

It was a Tuesday, the day I volunteer in the library after school. There’s something peaceful about wandering the empty halls when no one else is around—a stark contrast to the chaos between periods. Mrs. Ableton asked me to deliver a stack of books to the English Literature cupboard. Our copies of The Catcher in the Rye were practically falling apart, so we’d ordered replacements.

As I walked through the hall, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye near the classroom where Harry and I have English together. Curious, I paused, almost dropping the books in my hands.

Harry was leaning against a desk, and Dylan stood in front of him. At first, I thought nothing of it and smiled, reaching for the door handle to make myself known. But then Dylan stepped closer, touched Harry’s hand, and kissed him.

I froze.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The same lips that had kissed mine were now kissing the lips of my best friend.

I wanted to cry, but I was too shocked to do anything but stand there, watching. A part of me hoped I was trapped in a nightmare—that I’d wake up, call Harry, and laugh about how silly it all was. But when Dylan pulled back, Harry grabbed his arm and kissed him again.

That time, I couldn’t watch.

I backed away, the tears finally falling. My mind raced as I searched for somewhere—anywhere—I could cry louder, scream even, because this wasn’t something I could cry about quietly.

Harry was mine. But he was also Dylan’s.

By the time I went to bed, I’d convinced myself I would confront them. I’d tell them I saw what happened and ask if we could move on, pretend it never happened. But as the hours stretched on, I realized I didn’t want to speak about it. Talking about it would mean reliving it, over and over.

I didn’t want to remember.

I just wanted Harry.

So, this is a secret I’ll take to my grave. I’ll never tell a soul I watched Harry kiss Dylan in a way he never kissed me.

Even if it breaks me.

. . .

Now — 2000

“What happened?” Dylan asked. They were back in his dorm now, Harry pacing the room like a caged animal.

“She knows,” Harry muttered, his fingers pulling at his hair—a habit whenever he was upset. “She knows about us, what we did.”

Dylan collapsed onto the bed, his face pale. “How?”

Harry stopped and turned to him, shame written all over his face. “I said your name.”

Dylan’s shoulders sagged, and he buried his face in his hands. Images of Y/N, broken and sobbing on her bedroom floor, flashed through his mind. She had begged them to fix her, but they were the ones who broke her.

“It’s fine,” Harry rambled, his voice shaking. “I-I’ll give her some time, however long she needs. Then I’ll explain. I’ll explain it was a misunderstanding.”

“Harry,” Dylan said gently, standing to take Harry’s hands in his own. “I don’t think there’s enough time in the world for Y/N to get over this.”

Harry’s breath hitched, and a sob escaped him as he crumpled into Dylan’s arms. Dylan ran his fingers through Harry’s hair, resting his cheek against Harry’s head. “It’s okay, love,” he whispered. “Everything will be alright.”

“I hurt her so bad, Dylan,” Harry cried. “I love her, and I hurt her.”

“She was always going to find out,” Dylan said softly, the truth cutting deeper than any lie.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” Harry whispered.

Dylan sighed. “Why do you always talk about how things are meant to be? You act like your life was mapped out before you left the womb. Was it ‘meant to be’ that the three of us became inseparable? That you fell in love with both of us because you care so deeply? That I fell in love with you because you see art in everything? None of this was ‘meant to be,’ Harry. It just happened. And now we deal with it.”

Harry pulled back, tears streaking his face. “You still love me? Even after I pushed you away?”

Dylan smiled sadly, wiping a tear from Harry’s cheek. “I love you despite everything.”

Harry’s lips ghosted over Dylan’s, and for a moment, it felt like all their pain had been lifted. “Dylan,” Harry whispered, his voice trembling as he said the name again and again, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

“You can say my name as much as you want, love,” Dylan murmured. “I’ll always be here.”

. . .

Three weeks passed and the friends were no longer talking to each other, instead they acted as though they didn’t know each other as they passed each other in the hallway.

Harry had to try and not flinch when he saw Y/N scurry pass him, her eyes red and bloodshot as Ellis comforted her, glaring at Harry as they did. He wanted to speak to her but he was never given the chance to, rightly so considering what he had done to her.

Dylan and Harry, mostly Harry, thought it would best to keep their distance for a while. It killed them both to not be around each other but for the sake of their friendship with Y/N, they shared small moments of brief eye contact and touches throughout the day. Neither of them knew what was to come for the both of them but this limbo was enough for now.

Dylan ate lunch alone and as he did, he listened to the conversations of everyone around him. He wondered what it felt like for them to go about their day feeling like they belong in their own skin and not feel ashamed over who they love. He had never felt so alienated and so out of touch with himself.

He had been given an after school detention for an hour with Mr Henley after calling him sexist in front of the class. No one was around when he left the classroom until he saw a group of girls walking across the field.

At the end of the line was Y/N, wearing her netball uniform.

She must have caught sight of him because the next thing he knew, she was walking up to him. He had to check behind him to see he was seeing correctly.

“Hi Dylan,” She keeps her distance for reasons unknown to him but being around her again made him relax, he missed the friendship he shared right at the very beginning when they were thirteen and picking each other up from class to go to the sweet shop after school.

“Hey Y/N.” He offers her a smile.

“How are you doing?” He didn’t miss the way she gripped her bag like she was trying to stop herself from saying anything she really wanted to.

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” Y/N huffs, “I’ve had better days.” “Y/N-”

“Just tell me this,” She starts, “H-How long?”

Dylan decided he would be as honest and as straight to the point as he could be, it was what she deserved at least.

“Y/N the only thing we did was kiss one time. Harry stopped it because he’s in love with you.”

“And you’re in love with him.”

“Y-Yes.”

Y/N laughs incredulously, “We could never just be three best friends could we? It was always going to be complicated.”

“We could still be best friends Y/N.”

“But it’s not the same now is it?” She bit back and Dylan realised he needed to be careful with what he said. “Is he sad?”

“Terribly. Sometimes I hear him crying in his room at night.”

A silence fell between them which was strange. Y/N and Dylan has always had a brother-sister relationship, Dylan was always one to tease Y/N and make her laugh but right now it seemed all he was doing was making her upset.

“I’m moving schools.” Y/N confessed, “At the end of the term, I’m moving to Bridgewater. Mum’s moving in with her fiancee, and she wants me to be closer.”

“When were you going to tell us?” Dylan was shocked.

“I was given the choice. I could stay here or move to another school but if I stayed I’d have to stay at my dad’s during the holidays and I’m not in the mood to be lectured during my time away from school.”

Dylan didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t fathom the three of them not being together for such a long period of time. “I know what you’re thinking. I know I need to tell him but if we are going to have a shot at being friends again, I need to be away from you both.”

“Y/N,” Dylan shakes his head, “It doesn’t have to be like this,”

“You know I saw you when you kissed each other in the English Literature classroom?” She confessed, Dylan’s lips parting. “He kissed you in a way that he never kissed me. Everytime we kissed afterwards all I could think about was how different it was, how I desperately wanted him to kiss me the way I had seen him kiss you. I used to write in my diary about how I would die if I didn’t have him near me. I thought he would be the end of me but I didn’t realise you would be too.”

“I know he loves you Dylan and... I’m happy for you but I’m not selfless enough to stand beside you both and watch you fall in love when I so desperately love him too.”

“Y/N,” Dylan reaches out for her hand and takes it, “I’m sorry.” “I know Dylan, I know.”

. . .

Now — 2000

Harry’s leg wouldn’t stop jittering as he sat outside the school library on a Tuesday evening. He’d been waiting for this moment for weeks, replaying it over and over in his mind. He had spent countless hours rehearsing his apology to Y/N until it became a permanent loop in his thoughts.

When the library door swung open, he shot up immediately, brushing down his school trousers and running a hand through his hair. Y/N stepped out, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and her backpack slung over her shoulder.

She looked better than she had in weeks, and Harry’s heart ached at the sight of her. He would have carried her bag for her if they were still together.

Her expression changed when she saw him, her voice barely above a whisper. “H-Harry.”

“I came,” he said quickly, the words tumbling out. “I-I couldn’t believe it when I got your text. I’d have waited here for hours if you hadn’t shown up.”

Her face softened briefly, but she walked past him. “Follow me,” she said simply.

He trailed behind her as she led him to the gardens—the place where they’d shared their first kiss and filmed the music video for his and Dylan’s project. It was a space filled with memories of the three of them: Y/N doing homework, Dylan reading, and Harry strumming his guitar.

They sat down on the swinging bench, a familiar seat now heavy with unspoken tension. Harry noticed she kept her distance, and though every fiber of his being wanted to pull her close, he knew it wasn’t the right time.

“Who gave you those?” Harry finally asked, nodding at the flowers in her hand. A flicker of hope crossed his face.

“Debbie,” she said, referring to the school librarian. “It’s my last day working at the library.”

“You quit?” Harry frowned, his gaze flicking from the flowers to her face.

Y/N inhaled deeply before speaking. “I’m leaving, Harry.”

The wind seemed to leave him. “N-No,” he stammered, shaking his head. “You—you can’t. You can’t just leave. I won’t let you—”

“Harry,” she interrupted, reaching for his hand and holding it gently in her lap. “It’s what’s best.”

“How can you say that?” he asked, trying to pull his hand away, though her warmth made it impossible. “How can you say it’s what’s best? The three of us—we’re supposed to be together.”

“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she looked at him. He looked thinner, more tired than she’d ever seen him, but she couldn’t help him—not anymore.

“Y/N, the thing with Dylan...” Harry began, his voice cracking. “I-I never meant for it to happen. We were just alone, I was stressed, and my emotions got the better of me. But I don’t feel the same way about him as I do about you.”

She shook her head softly. “Maybe that’s true, but not in the way you think. Dylan has always been there for you, Harry, in ways I never could. The way you look at him... it’s like he hung the stars in the sky just for you, like he tilted the sun so it would never blind you but still brighten your world.

“Maybe you do love me,” she continued, her voice trembling, “but love isn’t just about taking care of someone. It’s not carrying my backpack because it’s too heavy or doing my homework when I’m too tired after netball. Love is about being vulnerable. It’s about being taken care of, about laughing and crying and feeling like your heart is burning, and nothing can put it out.

“Now tell me, Harry. Did you ever feel that way with me? Were you ever vulnerable with me?”

Harry’s heart cracked. He opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t find the words.

“Please, Y/N,” he whimpered, his voice breaking. “I can’t be without you.”

“You have Dylan,” she said, trying to be the bigger person even though it shattered her inside. “It was never going to be me, Harry. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for him?”

Harry looked down at the ground, his silence all the confirmation she needed.

Her heart broke all over again, but she forced herself to stay strong. “Why do you have to go?” he asked, tears streaming down his face.

“Because, Harry,” she said gently, “what good would it do for the three of us if I stayed? You need to find out who you are, and so do I. Before me, it was you and Dylan. Now, it will end that way - with you and Dylan.”

“And what about you?” he asked desperately. “What will you do? Where will you go?”

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted. “But I’m grateful for what I’ve had. You and Dylan will always be a part of me. I hope one day we’ll forget this pain, and everything will be okay again.”

She reached out, brushing his hair back the way she used to. “I love you, Harry. I love you so much, I feel like I could burst.”

“I love you too,” he murmured. For the first time, he meant it in a way that felt true—not as a lover, but as a best friend.

“Be brave,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “And tell him you love him.”

Harry nodded as the tears fell freely, clinging to her like a child who didn’t want to let go.

She was going to love him forever. She now knew he wouldn’t.

. . .

“She’s gone,” Dylan said softly from the doorway of Harry’s bedroom.

Harry sat at his desk, a pen still in his hand though it hovered, unmoving, above the page. “Was she alright?” he murmured.

“She was better than we probably thought,” Dylan admitted, realizing how much they’d underestimated Y/N’s strength. They’d always thought it was their job to protect her, but she’d always been stronger than the two of them combined.

“Right,” Harry muttered, his voice hollow.

Dylan moved to sit on the bed, the springs creaking under his weight. “I was thinking we could have the leftover soup for dinner instead of going to the dining hall.”

“I’m not hungry,” Harry replied—a rare admission from someone who was always hungry.

Dylan frowned. “How long are you going to wallow in this? Can’t you see we’re both trying to do the right thing for your benefit?”

Harry turned to him, anger flashing in his eyes. “And what exactly are you doing?”

“I’ve been keeping my distance,” Dylan snapped. “Acting like we’re strangers when we’re the complete opposite. Do you know how much it kills me to not be near you? To have to hide from myself?”

Harry stood abruptly. “And you think I’m not struggling? You think I haven’t been grappling with everything I feel?”

“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit!” Dylan shouted, standing to meet Harry’s gaze. “You had someone who loved you for two whole years. You have everything, Harry—loving parents, the best grades, popularity. And you act like it’s all been taken from you because I kissed you!”

“Y/N is gone because of us!” Harry yelled back.

“No,” Dylan said fiercely, his voice rising. “She’s gone because of you! Because you’re too afraid to be honest about who you are! Because you care too much about what everyone else thinks. That’s why she’s gone!”

Their faces were inches apart, their anger radiating in the small space between them.

“How dare you? Can’t you see this is difficult for me to accept?” Harry shouted, his voice trembling with anger and frustration.

“What is?” Dylan snapped back, stepping closer. “What is so difficult, Harry? What’s so hard that you have to sit in the dark and ignore the only two people who’ve ever truly cared about you? Huh? What is it? Tell me. TELL ME.”

“I am in love with you!” Harry yelled, the words ripping out of him like they had been clawing to escape for years. “I am a fool, and I am in love with you.”

Dylan froze, stunned. His breath caught in his throat as the weight of Harry’s confession settled over him. The words he had dreamed of hearing for years hung in the air between them, impossible to ignore.

“What?” Dylan managed, his voice barely a whisper.

“I have loved you since the moment I met you,” Harry said, his voice softer now but no less raw. “And it’s been killing me every day since. I think of you—daily, nightly, every moment in between—and it tears me apart. Kissing you was the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and denying it afterward made me a coward. But here I am now, standing in front of you, a man stupidly, hopelessly in love with his best friend.”

Harry’s eyes were red and glassy, the weight of years of unspoken emotion etched into his every feature.

Dylan stared at him, speechless. He had imagined this moment countless times, but now that it was real, the depth of Harry’s vulnerability left him breathless.

“Kiss me,” Dylan whispered, his voice breaking. “Kiss me.”

Harry didn’t hesitate. He stepped forward, cupping Dylan’s face in his hands as though it had been crafted to fit perfectly in his palms. Then he kissed him—fervent and unrestrained, pouring every ounce of his love and longing into that singular moment.

Dylan’s world ignited. A piece of him that had been dormant for years finally came alive. His heart and mind, long at odds, now burned in harmony as Harry’s lips moved against his. He felt consumed, but in the most beautiful way, as if he could lose himself in Harry forever and never once regret it.

“I love you too, Harry,” Dylan whispered when they finally parted, their foreheads resting together.

“I bloody well hope so,” Harry murmured, a small laugh escaping his lips as tears spilled down his cheeks.

. . .

Now

Dear Harry,

I’d like to tell you a story that will more than likely make you happy.

One day, I was sat in a café, only a twenty-minute walk away from Southend Park School, which is closed down now and turned into a factory to fix airplanes. I bought my usual order of a decaf cappuccino and a slice of toffee apple cake. On this particular day, they added more sugar to my cappuccino, so I knew it would be a good day.

Across from me, a woman sat, her dog lying down at her feet as she read The Catcher in the Rye whilst sipping on a fruit tea. I didn’t think much of it, but I found it interesting the way she would read something and then shakily jot something down in the little notebook on the table.

Anyway, I had originally come to the café so I could write about our trip to Brighton. You were still complaining about the sand in your clothes just last night despite the fact that Brighton has no sand.

“It’s alright, love,” I comforted you, helping you put your pyjamas on.

“It bothers me, Dylan.” You responded, coughing into your handkerchief.

We don’t leave our small bungalow very often because you don’t like to leave the dogs and I don’t like change, but this trip to Brighton was one we had been planning for a year or so, so we didn’t really have much choice in the matter.

We spent a lot of time sat on the beach in the evenings whilst we were there, a blanket wrapped around the both of us as we fed the seagulls. I remember you saying you liked the sound of the ocean because it made you feel like we were seventeen again, running into the ocean without a care in the world.

You then proceeded to mention how worried you are about our Y/N, “I hope she’s doing alright, our Y/N.” You said and then went back to talking about a programme you watched the night before.

You had always worried about Y/N in the years after she left, always asking where she was or what she was up to despite the fact we never got in contact with her again. I also wonder whether or not she is okay, and I knew that if I were to see her again, I would thank her for allowing us the space to fall in love.

It was awfully difficult those months after we kissed in your bedroom. We were constantly berated by people we had never spoken to before, and I knew it bothered you for a while, but we overcame it just like we did every other obstacle in our lives... together.

Anyway, as I continued to write about our trip, the door to the café opened again and three middle-aged people walked over to the elderly lady in the corner. “Come on Mum, we’ve got to say goodbye to Dad now,” the man spoke to her, and she swatted him away. Something about that small action gave me a strong sense of déjà vu.

“Give me a moment,” the woman responded, and the three children sat at the table in the chairs around her.

Eventually, they managed to get her standing up. One of them placed her coat around her shoulders, and another handed her her walking stick. When she turned to look at me, I saw a familiar set of eyes looking straight at me.

The three people aiding her walked to the door and held it open for her. As she was about to step out the door, her walking stick fell out of her shaky hands and right at my feet. I quickly picked it up and handed it to her, her face brightening at the sight of me.

“Thank you.” Her voice still sounded the same all that time ago.

“No... Thank you, my darling.”

#harry styles fic rec #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #one direction

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melon-fodder · 6 months ago

Text

What Friends Are For • T. Hiragi

Summary: Hiragi was annoyed when you bailed on the plans you had with him, but when finds you curled up with your heating pad, alone in your apartment he understands what happened, and now he wants to help.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: period sex, female-bodied reader, best friends to lovers, blood (obviously), cramps and other period symptoms, fingering, p in v, mentions of oral but it doesn’t happen (maybe next time)

Notes: this has been in my head for months now. It’s time to get it out. Special shout out to my nexplanon! Thanks for making me bleed for a solid month 😔✌🏻

Hiragi is annoyed.

Which isn’t uncommon for him, honestly, but it’s pretty rare that he’s annoyed with you.

You’d had these plans for a couple weeks now, a local band you both enjoy playing at a small venue downtown. You were excited. You had sent Hiragi all your different outfit options, and he’d given his honest opinions until you’d settled on the crop top, shorts, fishnets, and docs. He’d had to talk you out of the skirt you’d recently gotten— “I don’t wanna have to worry about creeps thinkin’ they can just slip their hands up there.”

“You don’t have to worry about me like that, Ragi,” you’d told him over the phone, “it’s not like I’m your girlfriend. You don’t have to defend my honor.”

A reminder that stings a little every time. You’re not his girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend, despite what everyone thinks and says. Despite everything that he feels.

None of that matters currently, though, because he’s pissed at you. Which is why he’s knocking on your apartment door to see what the fuck is wrong with you. Surely, there has to be something. It’s not like you to flake.

There’s some brief shuffling from inside before the door opens a crack, revealing a sliver of your face that looks… different.

“Ragi?” He just taps his foot until you open the door and let him in. “What’re you doing? I told you I can’t go out.”

The first thing he notices is that your eyes are a little puffy. Then, when he glances around your small living room, Hiragi sees that the TV is on, playing one of your favorite medical dramas—the one that’s just sex, surgery, and crying. You’re in a ratty old t-shirt (one of his, he’s pretty sure) and a pair of boy shorts that hug your hips and thighs too well.

“So what, you’re gonna skip out on this show so you can just sit here and watch TV?” His irritation has spiked again, familiar acid rising in his throat.

“What?” You peer at him like you’re confused then look back to the show and the little nest you’ve made yourself on your couch.

“It’s not… I wanna go. I just don’t think I’d have a good time.” Your face twists, both hands moving to your hips as you bend as if to stretch your back.

You’re acting weird.

“How do you know you’re not gonna have a good time?”

“Hiragi…” you say his name like a warning, and something new clicks into place.

You don’t feel well. The puffy eyes, the comfy clothes— “are ya sick or somethin’?”

You grimace, still bending and stretching while digging your thumbs into your lower back.

“No, I just— fuck, I need to lay back down.”

He watches as you walk to the couch and pull something out from under the mass of blankets, click a remote a couple times, then settle it against your back.

“I wanna go to the show, Ragi. And I’m not sick.” He can see the muscles of your jaw flex when you clench your teeth. “My fucking period is just kicking my ass tonight, okay?”

Oh. Oh. Okay.

“That… makes more sense, I guess,” Hiragi mutters, feeling much less irritated and much more foolish. “Can I get you anything?”

“A hysterectomy?” you joke, though it sounds more like begging.

“If I was qualified, you know I would.”

He can’t find it in himself to look at you. It’s not like Hiragi isn't familiar with periods. He’s had girlfriends and friends who are girls and, ya know, a mother.

He’s just—it’s just—you never bring it up around him. You’ve never mentioned cramping or bleeding or cravings related to it. He doesn’t even think he’s ever seen a tampon in your purse or your bathroom (not that he’s looked, it’s just something he’s noticed).

You must be able to see the confusion written all over his face. Or maybe you just know him too fucking well because with a heavy sigh, you explain, “I switched birth controls a couple months back. I didn’t have periods at all on my old one, but this one… anyway, I’m not used to the pain and everything else.”

This is a problem. You have a problem, Hiragi thinks, one that he can fix or, at the very least, help you with. Hiragi is good at fixing things. He’s good at finding solutions. So if he can just shove all of his awkwardness and discomfort to the side, he can focus on what’s important: making you feel better.

“You have pain killers?”

You shake your head.

“Menstrual products?”

You snort. “What?”

“Pads, tampons—”

“I know what they are, dummy,” you laugh, “just sounds weird when you say it like that. Menstrual products,” you imitate, and Hiragi rolls his eyes.

“Do you have any?”

You shrug, “not enough, but I use a disk anyway.”

Now is not the time for questions.

“Alright. I’ll be right back then,” he tells you before turning around to walk out.

“Wait! Where are you… nevermind,” he hears you mumble before the door shuts. If you know him as well as he thinks you do, you should have a pretty good idea of where he’s headed.

The little drug store at the corner doesn’t exactly offer luxury, but it’s stocked with what Hiragi needs. The girl behind the counter gives him a knowing look as she rings everything up and asks if he’d like to buy one of the mini flower bouquets that are displayed next to the register.

Tempting.

But it’s not like that.

“Nah, just this,” he says as he pulls out his wallet, the one you tease him about so much (“what is this, 2000? Get rid of the chain, old man!”).

It isn’t long before he’s walking back into your apartment like he lives there. Sometimes it feels like he does. Hiragi drops the bags on your coffee table and starts taking things out.

Medicine, the kind with added caffeine to help with headaches and energy. A box of tampons, regular and super. A box of pads just in case. Your favorite chocolates. A pint of ice cream he needs to put in the freezer ASAP, and…

“Is that a—”

“It’s not some dumb little plushie,” Hiragi immediately grabs what definitely looks like a dumb little plushie. “It’s got a rice pack in it, see? So you can heat it up and—”

“Cuddle with it?” You grin. “Is there a reason it’s an alligator? I feel like that’s not very period friendly.”

“It was an alligator or a crab,” he calls out, walking to the kitchen. “You want crabs?”

“No, I do not want crabs,” you shout. “But, I’m just sayin’. It’s a little suspicious you coming back with a plushie—”

“Not a plushie!”

“—that sort of resembles you that you want me to cuddle with.”

Hiragi leans to the side so that you can see him. “You associating me with every animal that has sharp teeth is your problem, not mine.”

The microwave timer goes off, prompting him to take out the rice pack and stick it back in the soft alligator. There’s a nice little weight to it, and it’s pleasantly warm by the time he hands it to you, still pouting about your teasing.

He moves your legs so that he can sit on the couch then resituates them on top of his own thighs, getting comfortable and trying not to smile when you press the plushie (yeah, that’s what it is) to your stomach and sigh.

“That’s nice.”

“Just lemme know when it needs to be reheated.”

“So, you’re just gonna sit here all night watching shitty medical dramas and reheating my hiragator?”

“Yeah, I—wait, what?”

“You heard exactly what I said,” you glare in that playful way you do, squeezing the heated toy tighter to you.

“You cannot name it Hiragator.”

“Alligatoma?”

“That sounds like a fuckin’ cancer.”

“So, Hiragator it is. Now that that’s settled, you can go to the show.”

Hiragi leans back on the couch and rubs his hands down his face before dropping them back to your calves.

“S’not gonna be fun without you,” he grumbles.

“Bullshit. You’ll be able to get into the pit without worrying about me.”

“I’m not eighteen anymore,” he chuckles. “There ain’t a single bone in my body that wants to get into a mosh pit.”

Your pretty smile disappears as your fingers dig into plush green fur, and Hiragi watches in concern as you curl further in on yourself. Trying not to disturb you too much, he reaches for the bottle of medicine and pours 2 out, glad that your water bottle is next to you on the floor.

“Here,” he urges, holding the pills out to you. You prop yourself up on your elbow to take them before collapsing back on the cushions.

“Seriously, you don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”

“Not like I have anything better to do,” he shrugs and changes the subject, “what episode are we on?”

“I started over so it’s the one where she’s dating Derek and the vet at the same time, and she’s getting stressed out about it.”

“Oh, when she has to get her appendix taken out?”

“Look at you remembering the details,” you giggle.

“I’ve probably seen it five damn times now, how could I forget?”

For the next hour, Hiragi sits with you, occasionally unwrapping a chocolate and handing it to you, sometimes rubbing your legs when you get that pained expression, trying not to think about how soft you feel and how he could get used to having you curled up next to him.

When he realizes the medicine either hasn’t kicked in or isn’t doing it’s fucking job, Hiragi finally braves the question, “did anything help before? I’m guessin’ you had periods before your old birth control, so what’d you do back then?”

“I don’t remember them being this bad, honestly, but sometimes when I’d have bad cramps…” you shake your head. “Never mind. Too much information.”

“What?”

“Nothing. You’d probably think it’s gross.”

Well, now his interest is definitely piqued.

“Just tell me.”

He gives your calf a tiny pinch that makes you squeal, “fine,” while kicking his thigh. “When I was, like, sixteen, one of my friends told me that orgasms helped her when she was in a lot of pain, so I tried it.”

Hiragi’s mouth is suddenly very, very dry, but he still manages to ask, “and did it help?”

“Yeah, quite a bit, actually.”

He feels warm, like he’s touching your heating pad. Is he sweating? His face is probably beet red. Thinking about you like that, trying to relieve the tension in your body, fingers between your legs—

Stop. Stop thinking about it. He can already feel his dick stirring to life, and that is the last thing you should have to put up with right now.

“I told you you’d think it was gross.”

Hiragi sets his jaw and shakes his head.

“You’ve got a natural painkiller. Why not use it?” It’s a miracle his voice is coming out as smoothly as it is.

“Cause it’s… it’s weird doing it when you’re not in the mood, I guess. And, like, it can get a little messy.”

Fucking Christ.

“It’s hard to masturbate when you don’t feel sexy, and it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re cramping and bloated and weepy.”

“Makes sense,” Hiragi nods to himself, tracing little patterns on your leg, brain completely empty aside from the thought, I could do it for you.

“What?”

Ah, shit. He’s usually so good at thinking through things before saying them out loud, but apparently the pathway from Hiragi’s brain to his mouth chose this one fucking time to malfunction.

No taking that one back.

“I said I could do it for you,” he repeats.

“I’m sorry, just so we’re on the same page, you’re talking about…”

“Giving you an orgasm. Making you cum. However you wanna put it.”

He shifts your legs a little further away from the growing bulge in his pants.

Your eyes are wide, mouth hanging open, and he feels the need to defend, “just cause you said it helped before! If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I just figured I’d offer.”

“I… honestly, I don’t know what to say. It’s been a while since anyone… and, I mean, it’d be weird, right? You and me? Plus, the blood, like… it’d be weird.”

“Whatever you say,” Hiragi hums. “I’m not scared of a little blood, though, just so we’re clear.”

“I never said you were. I know you’re very familiar with it, tough guy.”

“Pretty familiar with the female orgasm too, so you know.”

You make an undignified sound, something between a squawk and a shout that makes him laugh. “Telling me about your conquests isn’t gonna encourage me to let you stick your fingers up there!”

“I’m not gonna just stick ‘em up there, fuck, who have you been with that did that?”

“No one! I’m just saying!”

“Okay, Jesus, just watch your show.”

Hiragi makes a show of taking his hands off your legs and folds them behind his head. You somehow nestle deeper into the couch, hugging the alligator closer as you clench your teeth again.

How obvious would it be if he ran to the bathroom to rub one out? Would you be able to tell? He shouldn’t even need to. You barely talked about it.

But, the seed has been planted. The image of you on your bed with your knees open, your hand or maybe a toy rubbing over your sex.

Hiragi grabs a pillow and shoves it under your legs and therefore over his lap with the excuse that, “your heels are diggin’ into me.” That should take care of that for now.

About half an episode passes without the two of you saying anything, and when you do finally speak, it’s to quietly ask if he’ll reheat Hiragator for you.

“Only if you stop calling it that,” he says as he takes it from you.

“Never.”

He tosses it back into the microwave, of course, arms braced on the kitchen counter as he waits for the timer to go off. When he gets back, you have your eyes squeezed shut so tightly, it looks painful. There are tears right at the corners, and you’re taking slow, shaky breaths.

“Hey, hey, here,” he puts the plushie against your stomach and smooths a hand down your back, all the while wondering how the fuck you and every other uterus-having human puts up with this bullshit every month. It looks like hell.

“Ragi?” your voice cracks around his name.

He tilts his head, noticing your falling tears, and reaches over to wipe them away. “Hm?”

“You’re serious about helping me?”

He blinks at you. “You ever know me to be anything but serious?”

“I have seen very unserious sides of you. Sides that no one else sees.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t go thinkin’ you’re special or somethin’.”

“Special enough for you to make a very bold offer,” you shoot back with watery eyes and a raised brow.

“You ready to take me up on that?” He hopes he doesn’t sound too excited.

You nod emphatically, biting your lip while clutching that damn alligator like it’s your only lifeline.

“Alright, go get comfortable in bed. I’ll grab a towel.”

He helps you up, laughing through his nose when he hears you mutter something along the lines of, “can’t believe we’re doing this.”

You disappear into your bedroom, leaving Hiragi to wash his hands and grab the towel. He sheds his jacket in your room, hanging it on the doorknob, and even though he’s still fully clothed, he feels naked without the extra layer, not to mention his boots that are next to your front door.

You’re sitting up by your pillows, knees to your chest, voice too fucking meek for Hiragi’s liking when you ask, “do you want me to go put a disc in real quick? I don’t… these are just special underwear to, like, absorb. I don’t—I don’t have anything in right now, so…”

Hiragi stares at you while unfolding the towel, laying it out before motioning to it.

“Like I said before, ain’t gonna bother me. Now get comfortable and take those off.”

“So demanding, geez.”

You sound light-hearted, like you’re joking, but Hiragi sees the way your hands are shaking. You’re nervous. He doesn’t like that.

“Hey,” he stops you once you’ve pulled your underwear down to your thighs, “look at me.”

“If you tell me to call you sir or master or some shit, I’m kicking you out.”

“Shut up for just a second, please, I’m bein’ serious.”

“So am I! Don’t try to get all kinky—”

He grabs your face, pushing your cheeks together so that you’ll stop fucking talking.

“Listen to me.”

“I lish’nen,” you try, and it actually makes him smile.

“If you don’t wanna do this. If you’re not comfortable or if you’re scared or whatever, we don’t have to. I really am just tryin’ to help.” You nod under his hand, and he lets go. “I’m not gonna get grossed out. I’m not gonna judge you for anything, understand?”

“Yes, sir,” you answer with a smirk, and god dammit, it actually makes his cock twitch a little.

“You’re fuckin’ impossible to deal with, ya know that?”

“And yet, here you are doing just that.”

You shimmy out of your underwear and drop them over the side of the bed. It leaves you in nothing but that old T-shirt—Hiragi’s old T-shirt—so thin he can see the peaks of your nipples when you lie back.

He sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to relax, to let your knees fall open, to bare yourself to him. That's not something he’s ever rushed a woman on, and he’s definitely not gonna rush you. You close your eyes, bite your lip, then slowly spread your legs.

Hiragi has to focus on breathing, in and out, in and out, as his gaze land on your pussy. Puffy lips decorated with sticky blood and slick. He’s glad your eyes are closed because he licks his lips at the view. Hiragi could stare all day, but that’s not what he’s here for.

“You ready?” he asks, voice lower than usual.

“Yeah, you can… you can touch me.”

He feels his dick throb at those words, growing even harder when he grazes his fingers over your mound. You gasp, body tensing before relaxing again, like you had to remind yourself that you’re safe here with him.

He slides a finger up your slit, through the wetness, glancing down to note the mixture of blood and arousal before he spreads your folds.

There are so many things he could say at the sight of your twitching hole, so many ways he could praise the pretty pink leaking dark red like some kind of sordid Valentine’s candy that Hiragi wants to devour.

His eyes fall on the little bud at the crest of your lips, cute and begging for attention, and when he circles it with a wet finger, you stifle a moan with your fist.

“You can be loud, it’s your place,” Hiragi tells you, watching your face as he gently rubs over your clit, “plus, I’ll know it feels good if ya keep makin’ noises like that.”

He gives it a little flick that makes your hips buck, and you swear at him.

It doesn’t take long for Hiragi to learn what you like and what you don’t. You like the circles he rubs on your clit. You like when he just barely dips a finger between your folds.

And, you really like it when he slowly slides his middle finger deep into your pussy.

“Ohhmygod…”

Using the thumb on his other hand, Hiragi starts teasing your clit again, pride swelling inside him at the way your eyes roll into the back of your head. Looking down, he watches his finger as it glides in and out of your body, fresh blood coating the digits. A thick string of it stretches from your hole to the towel beneath you, viscous as it mixes with your slick, and Hiragi can’t help but watch until it snaps.

“Fuck, that feels… that feels good.”

“Yeah?” He crooks his finger a bit, searching for that extra-swollen bundle, and when you cry out, he knows he’s found it.

The way you’re moaning and shifting your hips has him worked up, his cock straining against the zipper of his pants, and he wants to relieve some of the pressure so fucking bad, but he definitely doesn’t wannna give you the wrong idea.

“Can you—can you add another finger? I just need—more p-pressure… wanna be full.”

Hiragi groans. He can’t keep it in. And he knows he sounds wounded because it feels like you just shot him. You wanna be full.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he forces out, lining up his index with his middle finger and pushing them both inside you.

You suck them in greedily, needy as you start to chase your climax. Hiragi wets his thumb again, massaging your clit, eyes flicking from your cunt to your face, all your pretty expressions while he stuffs your pussy.

You’re making a mess of yourself and the towel. He can smell iron, which is strange because usually when he smells it, he can feel it in a busted lip or bitten tongue. Usually, when he smells it, he can taste it.

He's gonna cum in his pants if he keeps thinking about that, about shoving his face between your legs and feasting. He’s fantasized about eating you out countless times before, but never like this. Never so desperately. He’s never felt this fucking deranged over it.

“Fuck, please, please, please,” you cry, meeting his fingers on every thrust, trying to take more than he can give with them.

“What? What can I do?”

Hiragi raises to his knees, keeping pace with his fingers and planting his other hand by your head so he can lean over you.

So gorgeous like this—face splotchy, eyelashes wet with unshed tears, lips dark and swollen from the way you’ve been biting them. He has to fight not to kiss you, especially when you’re gazing up at him like this. Wanton. Hungry.

“What do you want?” he breathes. He’s too close to you, face just barely hovering over yours, and he’s sure you can see the lusty fog in his eyes, but you’ve got it too.

You whisper something, and he can feel the ghost of his own name against his lips, but not as clearly as he feels the words “fuck me” that fall from your mouth before you kiss him.

It’s harsh and desperate, teeth and tongues and heavy breathing before he breaks away to unbuckle his belt and free his aching cock.

“Don’t have a condom,” he says before reattaching himself to you, sucking on your bottom lip as he rubs himself over your messy pussy.

“Birth control, remember?” you pant. “S’why we’re here to begin wi—”

Hiragi pushes inside of you with a deep groan, one smooth thrust until he’s bottomed out and you’re clawing at his shirt. Your eyes are rolled back again, mouth barely moving against his like you’re in a daze.

“Feel full now, baby?”

You nod, and Hiragi gives you one more gentle kiss before he starts an even rhythm, his thick cock gliding in and out of you with ease. When his thumb finds your clit again, you moan his name like a plea, over and over again as your body starts to tighten up.

“Ragi, fuck, oh my god…”

Looking down, Hiragi watches your cunt swallow him, coating him in shiny red as a ring of thick white forms at the base of his cock. You’re a fucking mess, creaming all over him as he pushes blood and squirt out of your pussy.

“You gonna cum for me?” he grunts, feeling his balls tighten as his own orgasm builds. “Come on, baby, lemme see how good you feel.”

“So good,” you gasp, “s-so—oh, fuck…”

Your back arches off the bed just before you clamp down around Hiragi. Even if he didn’t want to cum, he wouldn’t be able to stop it, not with the way you milk it out of him—walls so soft and wet as they squeeze him, suck him even deeper as he empties his balls and paints your insides with hot cum.

All he wants to do is collapse on top of you, but he has enough sense to pull out first, causing both of you to hiss, then lets himself fall to the side.

It’s silent for a while, heavy breathing and voices from the TV filtering into your bedroom. Hiragi has the horrifying thought that nothing will ever be the same between the two of you after that.

That was as raw as it fucking gets. That was blood and guts and cum. So much cum.

Then, he feels you grab his hand and squeeze.

“Feel any better?” he asks, voice nothing but gravel.

“I feel a lotta things,” you hum. “Better is one of them.”

“That’s good, yeah?”

“Yeah… but I’m also sad,” you admit with a pout, and Hiragi rolls onto his side to look at you.

“There’s nothin’ to be sad about. You know we’re still good, right? We’re still—”

“It’s not that,” you sigh.

“Then what is it?”

You roll to face him, eyes still a little hazy from your orgasm but all big and shimmering when you look at him.

“Hiragator’s gonna get so lonely now that I have you to fuck the cramps outta me.”

“Oh my fucking god!”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in your hands as Hiragi throws a leg over you and pulls you into his chest.

You are the worst—the absolute worst, and he loves everything about you, from the mess between your legs to the curve of your smile against his collarbone. Hiragi loves it all.

#wind breaker smut #hiragi x reader #toma hiragi x reader #winbre x reader #toma hiragi smut #tw periods #tw blood

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gothicxreylover · 9 days ago

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Hi! If I can request the uppermoons coming back home after a mission/hunt and just seeing their darling fucking up their ex partner (who's possibly worse than the demons, torturing them in their past relationship)? How would they react? Shocked? Impressed? Wanting to help their darling? Trying to calm down the situation? Or just simply standing back and watching it like a drama show? And maybe if you could do the same with the Hashira? If you have time, of course, I don't rush.

Hello! Sorry for the wait I didn’t really have that much motivation during the weekends. I hope you enjoy!

Yandere Upper Moons

Kokushibo

• Reaction: Kokushibo stands silently in the doorway, his six eyes narrowing as he takes in the sight of his darling unleashing their fury on their former tormentor. His stoic face betrays little, but inwardly, he’s surprised and oddly impressed by their raw determination.

• Response: He approaches slowly, his towering figure imposing as he casts a shadow over the scene. “Enough. You’ve made your point.” His voice is calm but firm, leaving no room for argument. Kokushibo will handle the situation in his own ruthless way, ensuring the ex never has the chance to trouble them again. Afterward, he’ll gently remind his darling that such displays are unnecessary when he exists to shield them from all harm.

Doma

• Reaction: Doma’s reaction is immediate and filled with enthusiasm. He claps his hands together, laughing as if he’s watching an entertaining play. “Oh my, what a passionate display! Darling, you’re even more interesting than I thought!”

• Response: Doma is thoroughly amused and might even cheer them on. However, he won’t let the ex linger too long, deciding to take over. “Here, let me finish this for you! You shouldn’t have to dirty your hands when I’m around.” He sees their rage as a fascinating new facet of their personality, only making him more obsessed.

Akaza

• Reaction: Akaza is shocked but also deeply concerned. Seeing his darling so angry and distressed stirs a mix of pride and guilt—pride in their strength but guilt that they had to endure such a past.

• Response: “That’s enough.” His voice is firm but gentle as he steps between them and their ex. “You’ve proven your strength. Let me handle the rest.” Akaza’s protective instincts take over as he swiftly eliminates the ex without hesitation. Afterward, he’ll hold his darling close, promising that they’ll never have to relive such pain again.

Hantengu’s Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)

• Reaction:

• Sekido: Furious at the ex for existing and furious at the chaos. “What kind of pathetic human made you feel this way?!”

• Karaku: Smirks and leans back, enjoying the show. “Wow, look at you, darling. Didn’t know you had such a wild side.”

• Aizetsu: Saddened by their darling’s distress. “This… this isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to feel like this.”

• Urogi: Laughs hysterically, clapping like he’s watching a comedy. “This is the most fun I’ve seen all day!”

• Response: Sekido steps in to end the situation violently, while Karaku and Urogi might egg their darling on before intervening. Aizetsu, meanwhile, will try to comfort them and remove them from the situation, all while glaring at the ex in quiet rage.

Gyutaro and Daki

• Reaction:

• Gyutaro: His first reaction is sheer protectiveness. “Oi, who the hell pushed you to this point?” He’s livid at the ex and doesn’t even try to hide it.

• Daki: Daki is scandalized, though not entirely surprised. “Darling! What are you doing? This is so unrefined!”

• Response:

• Gyutaro: Gyutaro doesn’t hesitate to step in, finishing off the ex with a gleeful cruelty that matches his anger. He reassures his darling afterward that they never need to fight their own battles again.

• Daki: Daki scolds them at first but quickly shifts to doting on them. “You shouldn’t be doing something so messy! Leave it to us next time.”

Yandere Hashira

Giyu Tomioka

• Reaction: Giyu freezes momentarily, his stoic mask cracking as he processes the sight of his darling in such a rage. The ex’s pitiful state doesn’t bother him, but his darling’s distress does.

• Response: He steps forward silently, placing a hand on their shoulder. “That’s enough. You’ve already proven yourself.” His tone is calm, but there’s an undeniable edge of protectiveness. Giyu will finish the situation if needed, ensuring his darling feels safe and supported afterward.

Kyojuro Rengoku

• Reaction: Kyojuro’s initial reaction is shock, but it’s quickly replaced with admiration for his darling’s fiery spirit. However, he’s also deeply concerned for their emotional well-being.

• Response: “My love, your strength is admirable, but this isn’t the path for you.�� He gently but firmly pulls them away, taking control of the situation himself. After dealing with the ex, he’ll sit down with his darling, speaking to them in his warm, encouraging tone to remind them they don’t have to fight alone.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

• Reaction: Sanemi is impressed. He crosses his arms and smirks as he watches, finding their fiery nature oddly attractive.

• Response: “Hah, didn’t know you had it in you!” He won’t intervene unless they’re in danger, but he’s ready to step in at a moment’s notice. If they falter, he finishes the job without hesitation. Later, he’ll tease them about their wild side while secretly feeling even more possessive.

Mitsuri Kanroji

• Reaction: Mitsuri is horrified—not because of their actions but because she hates seeing them so upset. Her love and concern overwhelm her.

• Response: “Darling, please stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!” She rushes to their side, gently pulling them away and hugging them tightly. She’ll comfort them and assure them they’re safe now, her sweet and protective nature shining through.

Tengen Uzui

• Reaction: Tengen finds the entire situation fascinating and just a little concerning. “Whoa, didn’t know you had such a dramatic side, my jewel.”

• Response: He’ll step in, either helping them finish the ex off or pulling them away with a flashy distraction. “Leave the messy stuff to me next time, yeah? You shouldn’t have to deal with trash like that.”

Muichiro Tokito

• Reaction: Muichiro is confused but quietly observant. He doesn’t understand the full context, but he knows his darling is upset.

• Response: “You shouldn’t waste your energy on this.” He steps in with cold efficiency, removing the ex from the situation without hesitation. Afterward, he’ll quietly sit with his darling, offering silent comfort.

Obanai Iguro

• Reaction: Obanai is initially shocked but quickly grows angry—at the ex for causing his darling pain and at himself for not protecting them sooner.

• Response: He’ll swiftly intervene, pulling his darling back. “You shouldn’t lower yourself to their level.” Obanai will deal with the ex himself, his venomous rage barely contained. Afterward, he’ll hold his darling close, whispering reassurances.

Shinobu Kocho

• Reaction: Shinobu’s calm, smiling mask hides a storm of emotions. Seeing her darling in such a state sparks both admiration for their strength and anger at the ex for pushing them to this point.

• Response: “Oh my, what’s going on here?” She steps in with an unsettlingly calm demeanor, gently guiding her darling away. “You’ve already won, my dear. Let me handle the rest.” Shinobu deals with the ex in her own chillingly efficient way, then turns her attention to comforting her darling.

Gyomei Himejima

• Reaction: Gyomei is deeply saddened to see his darling in such a rage. His compassionate heart aches for their pain, but he admires their strength and resolve.

• Response: “My love, this is not the path you should walk.” His voice is gentle but firm as he steps in, using his immense strength to bring the situation to a swift end. Gyomei will then sit with his darling, offering quiet comfort and reminding them that they are not alone.

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blackenedsnow · 2 months ago

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HII I was wonderin if you could write something for pickles the drummer where his s/o (gn) is possesive/protective of him?? I feel he deserves some doting I'd love to sucker punch Seth lmao

It can be a fic or hcs whatever is easiest pls and thank you 🔥🔥

pickles the drummer with a protective s/o ; headcanons

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Pickles the Drummer x Reader

NOTE: Hiii!! Thank you so much for this request—Pickles 1000% deserves some dotes, and Seth definitely deserves a punch or five, lol. Hope you enjoy this! Wishing you all the best!!

Let’s start with the obvious: you get it.

Pickles has that undeniable energy—he’s reckless, impulsive, and way too good at making bad decisions seem like good ideas.

But, man, he’s your reckless little rockstar, and that’s something you make known.

Anytime someone gives him a hard time (which is a often), you’re right there to step in.

Seth, especially, seems to test your patience.

The second he starts one of his “better brother” rants, you’re practically at his throat.

Pickles doesn’t even try to stop you.

He just watches like it’s a front-row seat to the best show he’s ever seen.

When it’s not family drama, it’s usually industry people looking to exploit Pickles’ talent or his tendency to… overindulge.

You’re sharp as a knife when you see them sniffing around him.

Whether it’s shady producers or party-goers trying to push something on him he doesn’t need, you have no problem cutting them off at the pass.

You know how people joke about those people who say, “They’re taken” when someone flirts with their s/o?

That’s you, but in the most unapologetic, territorial way possible.

Someone gives Pickles that look across the bar, and you’re sliding right up next to him with a grin that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Hey, Pickles. You making friends over here?”

Nine times out of ten, the flirters back off.

The tenth time?

Well, they learn quick.

Pickles isn’t used to being looked after like this, especially since so many people in his life expect him to be a trainwreck 24/7.

It’s honestly kinda overwhelming for him, but he loves it.

He might brush it off with a joke at first (“Aw, babe, you don’t hafta scare the roadies for me!”), but you catch him sneaking little smiles at you when you’re not looking.

He LOVES how much you hype him up.

You think he’s gorgeous, talented, and worth fighting for, and he soaks that up like a sponge.

On his more vulnerable days, though, when life weighs heavy on him, that’s when your protectiveness means the most.

He’ll sit with you on the couch, his head resting on your shoulder, and you’ll remind him he’s more than what the world tries to reduce him to.

Oh, and if Seth tries to start shit again?

You’ve got a punch with his name on it.

“Man, you really do love me, huh?”

“Pickles, I would burn the world down for you.”

“Aw, babe, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

#pickles the drummer #pickles the drummer x reader #metalocalypse #metalocalypse x reader #dethklok #dethklok x reader #metalocalypse fanfic #x reader #ask #fanfic #request #headcanons

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kathlare · 2 months ago

Text

a yellow reminder

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: After delivering a career-defining performance in Mexico City, Amelie revels in the electric energy of the night—only for her celebratory mood to be disrupted by a dramatic encounter with her mother and an unexpected gift backstage.

Wordcount: 1.4 k

Warnings: just fluff

full masterlist // request over here!

August 26th, 2023 - Mexico City, Mexico

The roaring crowd outside the stadium was still buzzing with energy as Amelie wiped her face with a towel backstage, her ears ringing from the deafening applause. She had just wrapped up another opening performance for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour in Mexico City, and the exhilaration was unmatched. Performing in her home country had always been a dream, and seeing thousands of fans singing her songs back to her was a high she wouldn’t soon forget.

But, of course, the night wasn’t without its drama.

Her mom’s voice was sharp as a knife as she marched into the green room, hands on her hips and an expression that could only be described as mortified disappointment. Amelie could barely keep a straight face.

—¿Qué te pasa, Amelie Victoria?— her mom began, glaring. —In front of your grandparents, your tíos, and Dios sabe quién más! Saying 'pussita' on stage? What were you thinking?—

Amelie bit her lip, but the giggle escaped anyway. —Oh, come on, Mom. It’s not that serious. It’s the Nonsense outro. People love it when I mess around with the lyrics!— She leaned back in her chair, still glowing from the adrenaline of the performance. —Besides, Jack dared me to do it. I couldn’t back out.—

—¿Jack?— her mom shot back, clearly unimpressed. —And if Jack jumps off a cliff, ¿tú también?—

—Well, depends on the cliff,— Amelie quipped, her grin widening.

Her mom’s expression darkened. —Amelie, this isn’t funny. Your grandparents were there. Chequito was there. Do you know how embarrassing it is to explain to your abuela why you said something like that on stage?—

Amelie’s laughter died down slightly, though the twinkle in her eyes remained. —Sorry, sorry. I’ll call abuela and explain. But honestly, I think she’s cooler than you think. She was vibing the whole time—

Her mom let out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head. —You’re grounded.—

Amelie’s jaw dropped. —¿Qué? Grounded? Mom, I’m twenty-one!—

—Twenty-one and acting like you’re fifteen,— her mom shot back. —One month. No going out, no parties, no nonsense.—

Amelie groaned dramatically, throwing her head back. —I’m literally opening for Taylor Swift. You can’t ground me.—

—Watch me,— her mom replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. She turned and stormed out of the room, leaving Amelie muttering under her breath.

—Grounded at twenty-one. Unreal,— she said to herself, shaking her head as she made her way to her dressing room.

By the time she reached it, the humor of the situation had settled in, and she was grinning again. She opened the door, ready to grab a quick shower and change into something more comfortable before heading out to watch Taylor’s set. But the sight waiting for her stopped her in her tracks.

A stunning bouquet of yellow tulips sat on her dressing room table, vibrant and delicate, their soft petals almost glowing under the dim light. For a moment, Amelie froze, her mind racing. Yellow tulips—her favorites. Only a few people knew that, and even fewer would think to send them here, today of all days. Her brows furrowed as she approached the table, the faint aroma of the flowers meeting her nose.

Next to the bouquet was a small, cream-colored envelope. Her fingers hesitated as they hovered over it. Who could’ve sent these? Her manager? Jack? Taylor? No... none of them would have picked tulips. Not yellow ones, anyway.

Grabbing the envelope, she tore it open and pulled out a small card. Her eyes scanned the handwriting—neat, deliberate, familiar. The message was simple:

"Congratulations on living your dream. I know how much this means to you. You deserve it. —L."

Amelie’s stomach dropped. The Nutella sandwich she had been craving sat forgotten on the table as a sudden wave of emotions hit her like a freight train. Lando.

Her grip tightened on the card as her heart began to race. What the hell was he doing? Why now?

She hadn’t thought about him in... well, not seriously, anyway. At least, that’s what she told herself. Sure, his name would occasionally pop up in conversation, usually when her siblings teased her, or when fans bombarded her Instagram posts with comments about how perfect they’d be together. But she’d made peace with the past. Or at least she thought she had.

Now here he was—uninvited, unannounced—wedging himself back into her life with fucking tulips and a note that made her chest ache and her blood boil at the same time.

Her jaw clenched as she reread the message, her mind flickering back to the last time she’d seen him in Abu Dhabi. She’d ignored him the entire weekend, keeping her distance like her life depended on it. And he had stayed away, too, respecting the unspoken wall she’d built between them.

So why was he doing this now? Did he think a few flowers and a sweet note would erase everything? The messy breakup, the fights, the lies? The way he’d made her feel like she wasn’t enough?

Her hand trembled slightly as she set the card down, her eyes narrowing at the bouquet as if it had personally offended her. She felt the anger bubbling up, hot and sharp, cutting through the wave of nostalgia that had momentarily softened her resolve. She didn’t want to be nostalgic. Not for him. Not after everything.

Amelie grabbed the Nutella sandwich she’d left on the table, biting into it aggressively as if the action could somehow channel her frustration. She chewed furiously, pacing the small room in her stage outfit, still sticky with sweat from the performance. The audacity of it all.

—Fucking Lando,— she muttered under her breath, the words muffled by the mouthful of chocolatey bread. —Fucking L. Who the hell does he think he is?—

The knock on the door startled her, and she nearly choked. Swallowing quickly, she spun around, hastily wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. The door cracked open, and Elysia peeked her head inside, her face lit with excitement.

—Nena! You were amazing!— Elysia squealed, pushing the door open fully and stepping inside, her energy filling the room. She pulled Amelie into a tight hug, ignoring the slight stiffness in her younger sister’s posture. —Seriously, you killed it out there. I’m so proud of you.—

Amelie forced a smile, grateful for the distraction. —Thanks, Ely. It felt pretty epic.—

Elysia’s eyes drifted to the table, where the bouquet of tulips sat in full view. Her brows shot up, and a teasing smile spread across her face. —Ooh, what’s this? Someone’s feeling romantic.—

Amelie stiffened, her heart skipping a beat. —Oh, uh… nothing. Just… some flowers.—

Elysia stepped closer, inspecting the bouquet with an amused grin. —Yellow tulips? Aren’t these your favorite? Who sent them?—

Amelie’s mind raced, and without thinking, she blurted, —There wasn’t a name on the card.—

Elysia frowned, turning back to her. —No name? That’s kind of weird. You sure it’s not from Alex? Or maybe Taylor?”

—Probably Alex,— Amelie lied smoothly, picking up the Nutella sandwich again to give her hands something to do. —You know how he likes to mess with me.—

Elysia tilted her head, studying her sister for a moment, but eventually shrugged. —Well, whoever it was, they’ve got good taste. You should find out and thank them.—

Amelie forced a laugh, waving her off. —Yeah, maybe.—

Satisfied, Elysia dropped the subject and began gushing about the concert, recounting her favorite moments from Amelie’s set. Amelie nodded along, smiling at the right moments, but her mind was elsewhere. The flowers sat on the table, a silent reminder of a chapter she thought she’d closed.

When Elysia finally left to grab a drink with Stella and the rest of the family, Amelie sank onto the couch, the card still sitting on the table like a landmine. She stared at it for a long time, her emotions warring within her.

The Lando she’d met in 2019, the fanboy with the boyish grin and an endless supply of charm, felt like a different person compared to the man who’d hurt her in ways she hadn’t even realized until it was too late. He’d been so sweet, so attentive… until he wasn’t. And when he moved on so quickly with someone else, it had shattered her in ways she’d never admitted to anyone.

And yet, the flowers were so him. Thoughtful, specific, and impossible to ignore. He always had a way of getting under her skin, whether it was with a joke, a look, or now, with a fucking bouquet of tulips. It was infuriating.

Her phone buzzed on the table, and she glanced at it, half-expecting his name to pop up. But it was just a text from Alex, asking if she was ready to head out for Taylor’s set. She sighed, grabbing her phone and shoving it into her bag.

The flowers stayed on the table as she headed to the bathroom to shower and change. She wasn’t going to think about him. Not tonight. Tonight was about celebrating one of the biggest moments of her career, surrounded by people who loved and supported her.

And yet, as the water cascaded over her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the tulips weren’t just a gesture. They were a question. A door cracked open. And for the first time in months, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t entirely ready to leave it closed.

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raspberryslxt · 3 months ago

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UNEXPECTED TURNS - PART 6

TVD X OBX FANFICTION

jj maybank x gilbert!reader x rafe cameron

Y/n woke up the next morning feeling like her head was filled with static. The revelations from the previous day hung heavy in her mind. Vampires, Elena being adopted, Stefan’s cryptic demeanor—it was too much to take in. For the first time since she arrived in Mystic Falls, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

She needed a break. A distraction. Something that didn’t involve supernatural drama or family secrets.

That afternoon, y/n texted Tyler and Matt, asking if they wanted to meet up. It had been too long since she’d spent time with them, and she missed the simplicity of just hanging out with friends.

At the Mystic Grill, Tyler was the first to arrive, sliding into the booth across from y/n with his usual confident smirk.

“Well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence,” Tyler teased.

“Shut up, Tyler,” y/n said with a small laugh. “I’ve been dealing with a lot. It’s nice to see a familiar face, though.”

Matt arrived shortly after, his smile warm as he greeted her. “Y/n! It’s good to have you back. You’ve been, like, a ghost around here.”

“Yeah, well, Mystic Falls has been… complicated,” y/n admitted, stirring her drink with her straw.

Tyler leaned back, raising an eyebrow. “Complicated? Try living here full-time. What’s going on with you?”

Y/n hesitated, unsure how much to say. “It’s just… family stuff. You know how it is.”

“Don’t remind me,” Tyler muttered, glancing out the window.

Matt gave her a concerned look. “If you ever want to talk about it, we’re here. But you don’t have to if it’s too much.”

Y/n smiled, grateful for his understanding. “Thanks. Honestly, I’d rather talk about something else. Like what’s been happening in the Outer Banks.”

“Outer Banks?” Tyler asked, intrigued.

“It’s where I’ve been staying. I made some… interesting friends out there,” y/n said, her mind immediately drifting to JJ and Rafe.

“Interesting, huh?” Matt said with a grin. “Tell us more.”

Y/n leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “There’s this guy, JJ. He’s wild, reckless, but he’s got this heart of gold. He’s one of those people you just can’t help but root for.”

Tyler smirked. “Sounds like trouble.”

“Oh, he is,” y/n admitted with a small laugh. “But then there’s Rafe. He’s… complicated. Charming, but he’s got this dark side that’s hard to ignore.”

Matt frowned. “You sure about this Rafe guy?”

“I don’t know,” y/n admitted, looking down at her drink. “He’s hard to figure out, but there’s something about him that pulls me in.”

“You’ve got your hands full,” Tyler said with a chuckle.

“Tell me about it,” y/n muttered.

After Matt and Tyler left , Y/N decided to stay a little bit longer at the Grill. She wasn’t particularly hungry, but the idea of sitting at home and brooding over her problems didn’t appeal to her either.

She sat at the bar, nursing a soda and people-watching, when someone slid onto the stool next to her.

“Well, if it isn’t the other Gilbert sister,” a familiar voice drawled.

Y/n turned to see Damon, his trademark smirk firmly in place. “What do you want, Damon?”

“Relax,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Can’t a guy enjoy a drink without being accused of having ulterior motives?”

“Not when that guy is you,” y/n shot back, raising an eyebrow.

Damon laughed, a low, amused sound. “Touché.”

For a moment, they sat in silence, the noise of the Grill filling the space between them.

“You’re not like Elena,” Damon said suddenly, his tone more serious than before.

“Wow. Thanks for the revelation,” y/n said dryly.

“No, I mean it,” Damon continued, turning to face her. “Elena’s all… selfless and noble. You’ve got an edge to you. It’s refreshing.”

Y/n studied him, trying to decide if he was being sincere or just trying to get under her skin. “And you’re an ass,” she said finally, though there was no heat in her voice.

Damon grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

As they talked, y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that Damon was holding back. He was arrogant, sure, but there was something deeper beneath the surface—something he wasn’t sharing.

Later that night, as y/n lay in bed, her phone buzzed. She smiled when she saw Rafe’s name on the screen.

“Hey,” she said, answering the call.

“Hey yourself,” Rafe replied, his voice warm. “How’s Mystic Falls treating you?”

“Let’s just say it’s been… eventful,” y/n said with a sigh.

“Yeah? What’s going on?”

“Family drama. Secrets. The usual,” y/n said vaguely. She wasn’t ready to explain everything to him just yet.

“Well, if it gets too bad, you know where to find me,” Rafe said, his tone softening.

Y/n smiled, her heart tugging at his words. “Thanks, Rafe. I might take you up on that.”

“Good. We miss you down here,” he said.

“I miss you too,” y/n admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

After hanging up with Rafe, y/n’s mind wandered to the mysterious man she’d met at the airport. His presence lingered in her memory. There was something magnetic about him, something that made her feel both intrigued and uneasy.

Who was he, really? And why couldn’t she shake the feeling that their meeting wasn’t a coincidence?

The days that followed y/n’s arrival in Mystic Falls were anything but peaceful. Each moment seemed to pull her deeper into the town’s dark, supernatural underbelly. It was like stepping into a waking nightmare, one filled with secrets, danger, and centuries-old grudges.

Y/n had gone to the Salvatore house, hoping for answers. She had more questions than ever—about Elena, about Stefan, about the supernatural—and though she still struggled to believe what she’d been told, she couldn’t ignore what she’d seen with her own eyes.

When she arrived, she found Damon pacing the living room, a drink in his hand. His movements were sharp and irritated, like a caged predator.

“Damon?” y/n ventured cautiously.

He turned, his face lighting up in mock surprise. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite little Gilbert sister. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have questions,” y/n said, crossing her arms. “And you’re going to answer them.”

Damon smirked, raising his glass. “I like the confidence. Unfortunately, you’re a little late—I’m busy saving the world.”

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed dramatically, throwing himself onto the couch. “Let me guess—Elena didn’t tell you about the tomb vampires.”

“Tomb vampires?” y/n repeated, her stomach tightening.

“Yep,” Damon said, popping the “p.” “A whole bunch of bloodsuckers locked away beneath the church, thanks to a witchy spell from 1864. And now, because Elena’s big heart can’t leave well enough alone, we’re trying to open it and save one of them.”

“Wait, why would Elena want to save a vampire?” y/n asked, confused.

“Because she’s Elena,” Damon said with a shrug. “Always thinking with her heart instead of her head.” He leaned forward, his expression hardening. “And when this all goes sideways, which it will, she’s going to need people to clean up the mess. That’s where I come in.”

Y/n stared at him, her mind racing. The idea of vampires locked away for over a century was horrifying enough, but the thought of them being unleashed was worse.

Later that evening, y/n sat in the Salvatore living room as Stefan, Elena, and Damon discussed their plan.

“So, let me get this straight,” y/n said, rubbing her temples. “You’re going to break a spell to release a bunch of vampires, hoping you can just grab one of them and close it again before the others get out?”

“Basically,” Damon said, pouring himself another drink.

“Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?” y/n asked, looking at Elena.

“It’s not ideal,” Elena admitted, her expression conflicted. “But we don’t have a choice. We have to save Katherine.”

“Katherine?” y/n asked, frowning.

Damon leaned against the mantle, a bitter smile on his lips. “Stefan’s ex. My ex. The love of our lives. And the reason for all this mess.”

Y/n looked at Stefan, who avoided her gaze, his jaw tight. “This is about a girl? Are you serious?”

“It’s more than that,” Stefan said quietly.

Y/n threw her hands up. “Of course it is.”

The plan fell apart almost immediately. Y/n had insisted on staying at the house, but after hours of pacing and worrying, she found herself driving toward the old church ruins. She couldn’t just sit by while her sister risked her life.

When she arrived, the scene was chaos.

The tomb’s door had been opened, and Damon was standing guard at the entrance, his face dark with frustration.

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing here?” he snapped, grabbing her arm as she approached.

“I couldn’t just stay home,” she said, pulling free. “Where’s Elena?”

“In there, with Stefan,” Damon said through gritted teeth.

Y/n peered into the darkness of the tomb, her heart racing. “Is she okay?”

“Define okay,” Damon said. “She’s risking her life for a vampire who doesn’t give a damn about her. But yeah, she’s alive. For now.”

Before y/n could respond, a figure emerged from the tomb—a pale, gaunt vampire with wild eyes. Damon moved like lightning, snapping the vampire’s neck before it could take another step.

“Go home, y/n,” Damon said, his voice low and dangerous.

Y/n ignored him, her eyes fixed on the tomb’s entrance. “I’m not leaving without Elena.”

When Stefan and Elena finally emerged, they looked exhausted. The tomb was sealed once again, but not before several vampires had escaped.

Y/n drove Elena home in silence, her mind racing. She couldn’t believe how close they had all come to disaster, and the worst part was knowing this wasn’t over.

One night, after another tense family dinner filled with half-truths and guarded looks, y/n sat down with her laptop. Her finger hovered over the “Book Now” button for a flight to Kildare.

She thought about Elena and the chaos of Mystic Falls. She thought about JJ and Rafe, about Ward’s warnings, and about the man from the airport.

Finally, she clicked the button.

It was time to go back to the Outer Banks.

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andrea-lyn · 7 months ago

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Roswell New Mexico - Master Fic Rec Post

See under the cut for thirty-four total recs, predominantly Malex. There's also 10 additional in the "Recs Less Travelled" project here.

a few drinks and some conversation by @christchex

Michael Guerin makes a friend who isn’t his sibling, an ex, or a sibling’s ex.

Astriferous Sea by hrhbrittany, Sismyn

Alex has always been the baby among the sirens in the Dead Sea. Michael is performing beard services for his sister. Communication is a little wishy-washy.

This AU came out of nowhere and smacked me right with the ‘I’ve always wanted this and I just never knew’. It has sirens and rescues and bad guys and false relationships and real marriages and rings and drama and romance. It honestly reminds me (in the best way) of an exciting romance novel and I’m so jazzed there’s still one part left to it.

The Bachelor by Sweetgirl2019

After the events of high school, Michael, Isobel & Max moved to California while Liz, Maria & Kyle stayed in Roswell and Alex went to war overseas. Once his enlistment period ends, Alex gets thrown into something that brings him and Michael back together again.

So I think this might be my favourite to see updated right now. It should be a run-of-the-mill fluffy AU, yet the author threw this incredible curveball by using the alien background in a canon divergence to turn The Bachelor into both a romantic dramedy for the boys, but also keeping the looming threat of people finding out about aliens in the background. Also, I think this is top tier pining that you will actively feel in your own chest, that’s how good it is.

blink back to let me know by haloud - Roswell New Mexico

Alex doesn’t have important conversations over the phone when he can avoid them. It feels too much like going in blind. But in some ways, the phone makes it easier–it’s easier to break when no one’s looking.

It’s Mylex and the 5th in a series, and every part is worth reading, but I definitely re-read parts 4 and 5 a lot. It’s so well written and the dynamic is mwah and I love how Kyle fits into this. One of my favourite pieces in this is how Kyle reacts to his father in relation to Michael & Caulfield and it’s an amazing read.

built this house on memories by @villanellve

He wakes up eight years in the future, and everything is strange, but Alex is there.

YOU GUYS. If you were to write a list of tropes I adore, this would be way up there at the top because of how much I love it. I am a sucker for a character having to be removed from their situation to learn (whether it’s an alternate universe or the future or the past), but this one is so achingly painful and perfect and hopeful. I love the callout that the situation is almost too hard for Alex, I love the resolution at the end on Michael’s part, and you could just soak in the happiness and comfort of their future lives if you let yourself.

Can’t Get No by one_flying_ace

“They’re on round two already,” he says, tilting his head towards the truck again, “or maybe three.” Guerin grimaces, and that’s fair; it’s his brother, after all. “You know how they’re feeling. Could I handle it, if you stopped-” being in control, he doesn’t say, but Guerin shudders. “I’m good, Alex. Just keep the hell away.” (Or: alien sex rocks don’t make them do it, but they sure do help.)

Sex pollen/sex-or-die fics are pretty much a requirement, but this is my absolute favourite and I have re-read it more times than I can tell you (let’s put it at six or seven?) The restraint that Michael has in this is amazing, but the mental images of it are incredible as well. I loved Max and Liz’s secondary presence as well and how each character was tonally perfect down to the little things (like Max not noticing Michael’s sex marks). What a good. What a hot. What amazing.

Constant as the Northern Star by celzmccelz

Michael stares at Kyle. “But I’m a guy! How can I be pregnant?” Kyle looks embarrassed. “Well, you appear to have a fully functioning set of female reproductive organs—or, I mean, like, the kind of reproductive organs that are associated with a double X-chromosome in humans, so I’d assume that you probably became pregnant when semen was introduced into your reproductive tract—” “Jesus Christ, Kyle!” says Michael. He could have happily lived the rest of his life without ever hearing Kyle Valenti say the words “semen” and “reproductive tract.” Kyle’s eyes widen. “Have you been having unprotected sex?” “Oh my God, I am not having this conversation with you!”

Yes, going in, there are some warnings to be cognizant of. It’s mpreg, there’s a lot of medical stuff to go through, but I think this is my absolute favourite of the mpregs I’ve read and it actually comes down to Michael’s support system outside of Alex, namely in Kyle. There’s no sudden BFF bracelets being given, but that morality that makes Kyle Valenti who he is, that’s right there. Also, given that this is an mpreg fic, it delves into family and plot in a way that I haven’t often seen. Plus, you get the ‘getting back together’ Malex that I so deeply crave.

Contigo me encontré by beautifulcheat (Katalyst), ladynox

The Lockhart House was once a home, although it was never a happy one. Steeped in tragedy, it still stands today, in the heart of Old Town Roswell, attracting ghost hunters and those seeking to catch a peak of something from beyond the veil.

Contrary to popular myth, it wasn’t currently haunted (except by one paranormally talented docent). It was Michael’s favorite job and the best part of his summer home from UNM. Or at least was until Alex Manes was hired to man the gift shop, complicating an otherwise fun and easy job.

everywhere on earth you go - @evepolastried

Across the room, he can still see how Michael Guerin is looking at him. And that’s something different, something new, something so very familiar. The thrill of nerves, of guilt, of want. Alex smiles, and he starts to sing. (OR: Alex Manes grabs his guitar and gets the hell out of Roswell in 2008, and he leaves behind a letter. Here’s what happens ten years later)

I love this. This one has something incredible, and it’s something I called out, but it has this amazing work with pace. There’s a frantic moment at the bar and it’s chaos, and you feel it. It’s rushed and wild and crazy, but then everything slows down and it gets perfect. There’s Michael, there’s Alex, there’s music, and it’s such a great ride.

Family Matters by @bestillmyslashyheart

Isobel is telepathic. Most of the time she ignores it. She used to pick up on other’s people’s emotions but she’s long since learned to tune that out. Until one night she can’t. Someone, somewhere is in such a state that it’s spilling over and she’s left to deal with the brunt of it. Or, Michael keeps things close to the vest until he can’t. The night after Alex leaves him at the drive-in, everything he’s feeling bubbles up inside until it spills over onto Isobel. Suddenly he’s left with no other choice but to open up.

This is an early fandom piece, but I still think it’s held up to an immensely amazing rate. Not only that, but I love how it delves into powers, Michael and Isobel’s relationship, and the incredible idea of spillover, which I still actively wish would become canon because of this fic. I think it’s so IC, especially with Michael’s active wish not to talk about it that he screws himself over in his sleep and seriously, it’s such a good read for both Isobel & Michael stuff, but also Michael & Alex.

the first who ever did - nostaljinks

Five times Michael saves Alex + 1 time Alex saves Michael back.

I feel like there aren’t enough words that I can heap onto this of praise. This fic is well-written, well-plotted, well-thought out, well-everything. It’s a beautiful emotional roller coaster and will make you ACHE, but in a great way. It also is the right amount of long that you want more, but you also get it, and it’s just as quality as the rest. ABSOLUTE must read.

fish bowl by @sabrinachill

Alex makes a series of phone calls and bad choices that lead him directly here — an Airstream on the edge of a junkyard with a distractingly attractive mechanic showing him how the dining table converts into a bed that he can sleep on for just $75 a week. It is, of course, completely absurd. But there’s something cozy about the fuzzy yellow blanket on the bed/table and the sparkling sunlight streaming through the mostly-clean windows, in the smell of leather and motor oil and aftershave and summer storms, in the hopeful half-smile on Michael’s face. That’s his name — Michael. Alex’s potential new roommate and landlord. (AKA An AU About Quarantined Roommates Who Fall in Love)

I highly recommend anything by @sabrinachill, but this fic is a really clear argument about why. It’s an AU that involves quarantine, and you might think ‘oh, I’ve read that before’, but then it will take you down the unexpected road that you didn’t expect to go down, but as soon as you take that twist, you instantly realize how much better it is that way. Hats off to the clever plotting not just in Fish Bowl, but other fics!

Funny How Things Never Change - @waroftheposes

“What can I do for you?” Michael asks, turning to face Alex. Alex can tell the moment that Michael’s mind registers who he’s addressing, because the polite smile drops from his face and the hat falls from his hand. He stands there, eyes wide and unbelieving, looking at Alex. Alex takes a deep breath, willing his racing heart to settle. “Well,” he begins and is his voice shaking? “For starters you can get your stubborn ass over here and give me a divorce.” – (A Sweet Home Alabama AU)

Yooooo, guess who was bereft when she thought she lost this link. It was absolutely me. This AU makes me happy in so many ways, especially the storms in the desert motif that keeps coming back around, and also that it’s messy. I like that it’s not cut and dry, that it goes right up until the wedding, and that it takes some real talk for them to get back together. I love fics where they all get to be human and this one is just so good.

I Know Nothing Stays The Same by aewriting

“Alex doesn’t believe in miracles until one happens to him. His father has a hammer in one hand and Alex’s throat in the other. As Alex’s consciousness fades, he’s dimly aware of movement. His father’s about to swing the hammer, and this is how Alex will die.” When an unexplainable force puts a stop to Jesse’s attack in the shed, Alex and Michael are forced to go on the run. Leaving Roswell is an easy decision, but navigating the consequences of that choice months and even years later proves to be much more complicated.

I think this one became a must read very early on, but then it’s continued to deliver. There’s been a few stories that delve into the characters getting therapy, but there’s a whole chapter here where it genuinely feels cathartic as we go through the process with Alex. This fic also is an excellent and long version of an AU I think that we’ve all wondered, about what would happen if they ran away, and it’s so well written and so real that I know I will be re-reading this a ton. Like many of the others, why I love it is because it’s not perfection, but it’s the kind of real where I want to wrap myself up in it.

i won’t go, i can’t do it on my own by @queersirius

alex tries to let go by giving back the pieces of michael he’s kept

Millie has a bunch of AMAZING AUs (guys, the 10 Things I Hate About You is something I never thought I’d get, especially from a favourite author), but i think this one is actually my favourite, especially when it comes to the ship piece that Alex has. Again, when I talk about ‘fics that make me want to be better’, this one was one. The writing is engaging, the characterization is fabulous, and the emotions are so honest and real. Then there’s this line, like a gut punch: “Because it’s the last thing I have of you,” he admits. “The last piece of you I have to let go of.” which I love because it’s still Alex’s journey, an honest attempt to offer closure (if closure is wanted).

in some other life - @spaceskam

michael tries to build a time machine, but ends up in a different reality all together

There are a lot of these that have been written and they are all quality, but I love this one especially because of how we get into Alex in the other universe, get the glimpse of this unknown Michael, but also the scene that strikes this one out for me is that Alex doesn’t want to let him go. I love that Alex gets to be selfish, that he begs for him to stay, and that we don’t get the automatic happy ending in that, but there’s still the hope for it. Also, Alex the Angel, unf.

intimate encounters of the third kind by @alexmanes

Three years after Antar and its people take Earth under their wings, Roswell becomes the epicenter for human-alien relations between both planets. It doesn’t take very long for Alex Manes to find himself embroiled in a scandal that threatens this intergalactic partnership, all thanks to a beautiful man named Michael Guerin who is not nearly as human as he claims to be.

Okay, so, if you like No Love Like Your Love, the truth is that you have this fic to thank. This was my first introduction in RNM fandom as to what a really amazing fic could be that incorporated the royalty elements into the pairing. Once 1x12 aired and we met Michael’s mother, it was pretty much a done deal that I wanted to do something that played with that, but this is the actual inspiration. It’s well plotted, it has a great ensemble cast, and plays with the kind of care that it takes to know your plot inside and out, but also to leave breadcrumbs that guide the reader along. It’s very methodical in the sense that nothing is by accident and it has you on the edge of your seat.

It’s a long road back to you by @magsthemagical

Michael finds out that Alex is dating Forrest and he’s okay with it, until he’s not. Maria suggests a double date to show they can all hang out as friends. But they can’t… not really. [OR the one where Michael & Alex realize that they belong together and so they say goodbye to their respective relationships and start anew]

Honest truth time - in terms of ‘ships, while I always love people to ship and let ship, my personal preference for both Michael and Alex is one another, so both Maria/Michael and Forrest/Alex aren’t things that I usually seek out when trawling Ao3. This fic is so good to all parties involved. No one is a villain and I appreciate that they get to talk about things like Alex’s reticence to do certain things in public, but also being aware that Alex deserves to have something new as much as Michael.

Last Stop: This Town by @ubiestcaelum

Someone asked what it would have been like if Michael had gone home with the Evan’s and I couldn’t let it go.

Am I cheating because I requested this? idk, maybe, because another one I requested will end up here too. I am addicted to the idea of Michael getting the support system he needs, but THIS FIC takes it to the most impossibly amazing level and fleshes out the Evans parents in such an incredible way. I love that it’s not super sunshine and rainbows, but it’s an honest telling of raising kids (and maybe too many kids versus what you expected). I know this is only in progress (several today will be), but even as it is, it’s worth reading multiple times, because I know I have.

let me count the ways by @queersirius

liz ortecho isn’t allowed to date until her snarky, determined-not-to-date brother, alex ortecho, does. luckily, one of her suitors has a plan. well, max goes to isobel for a plan, which involves getting their brother, michael, to woo alex. or, the 10 things i hate about you AU

Obviously this needs to be here as I desperately pleaded for it to exist, but it’s so beyond what it might be as a mini tumblr ficlet and has become a whole world. It’s not just a great Malex story, it’s an amazing story for all the characters and really fleshes out a world, but weaves in the RNM characters perfectly, but also gives me a dynamic I want more of, in Alex being an Ortecho. It’s not quite finished yet, but Millie has never steered us wrong and I can’t wait for more.

Loathly by @aewriting

When King Manes and his sons are caught illegally hunting on Antarian lands, King Noah gives King Manes a choice - correctly answer a riddle or accept death. A year-long search for the correct answer ensues, leading the youngest son of the king, Alex, to strike a bargain with a mysterious woman who claims to know the answer. This is an AU of the Arthurian legend “Sir Gawain and the Dame Ragnell.”

Love at First Sass - @daffietjuh

Taking a class of 30 high school kids on a school trip to an Air Force base was about as exhausting as it sounds, luckily, the Captain giving them the tour is perfectly capable of handling a group of rowdy teenagers. Michael may be slightly in love Okay, so first of all, if you haven’t read any of the author’s other work, you should. The AUs are fantastic and the hockey one is still one of my favourites ever, but this one also just was exactly what I needed. It was sexy and flirty and fun, but also fit their personalities perfectly!

Everything in the Michael Sanders AU, by prouvaireafterdark which is a fantastic series that gives us what we all wanted, which is Walt Sanders giving Michael the home he deserved (and getting one right back).

My love is a life taker by @jocarthage

By the time he turned 15, Captain Alex Manes had been to every war zone and unofficial conflict the United States of America was involved in. It wasn’t regular practice, or even heard of, for a Colonel to bring his son along on combat missions; the exception was if the child had been identified as Time Aware, able to travel in time along their own timeline using stolen alien technology. So here Alex Manes was, 28, and ducking bombs, killing who he’s told to. On his way back from a mission, Alex slips into another timestream. It should be impossible. But he can hear a child crying and he heads towards the sound. This is the story of how Alex saved Michael and Michael saved Alex, with lots of time travel shenanigans and angst.

This story is incredible for so many reasons and one of them I continue to praise is the balance. It’s an Alex driven story, but you can break his life down into friends, mission, family, and Michael, and often those elements combine, but there’s never any update that doesn’t give you enough (imo). It’s excellent writing with engaging OCs and wonderful plot, and the most incredible love story.

not in this world (or the next) by @hannah-writes

It isn’t until he realises he can’t find the keys for his fucking truck anywhere and that there’s mail on the table addressed to Mr M Evans that Noah called him ‘Evans’, too. He fumbles inside the wallet that he’d managed to locate and pulls out a New Mexico licence with his picture on it; he doesn’t have a black eye and a split lip in this one, his hair’s tamed and he doesn’t look like he’s gone three days without showering. His date of birth is stamped, clear and correct, but then where his name should read ‘Michael Guerin’, it reads “Michael Evans’ and the address registered on the license is that of Max and Isobel’s childhood home. Noah had also said ‘your mom’s’. Not ‘Mrs Evans’. It feels like a bucket of ice water’s dumped over his head as he finally accepts that something is very, very wrong. (aka, the fic spawned from a tumblr prompt about Michael waking up in a parallel reality.)

This one, guys. This is an absolute beast of angst and love and a really well plotted story, but also is really amazing for how it creates Mikey, but also creates motive behind what drives both Michael and Mikey in ways that are the same, but also different. Genuinely, this fic is a great read because you get so much attention to the characters while also driving along the relationships, and who they are.

nursery sharks by christchex

Six firsts in the Sanders household and a second.

Otherwise Engaged by JustAsSweet

Alex Manes was perfectly happy with his job at Colden Records but when his visa is rejected and deportation looms, marrying his assistant Michael Evans is his only option. And when they make a trip to Alaska to see Michael’s family, everything becomes a lot more complicated.

AKA: The Proposal AU that no one asked for but I wrote anyway.

Shadow Work - @myrmidryad

After his discharge from the Air Force, Alex Manes is working as a shade - a professional ghost hunter - when Michael Guerin tracks him down. Alex left Roswell thirteen years ago and never went back, but overnight Michael’s family has vanished and the supernatural activity in Roswell has exploded, and he wants Alex’s help. Featuring: ghosts, more ghosts, metaphorical ghosts, and a lot of sex without talking about feelings. Also missing family members, government conspiracies, and gratuitous worldbuilding.

No, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I can’t rec this enough. Literally, this is a novel-type rec. If this were a book on a shelf, I would be shouting that you need to go read it, because it is literally good enough to be a published work on a best-selling list. It’s so fucking good. Every time you think it can’t get better, it does. It has nuance and plot and world-building and it is So. Fucking. Good. I could sit here and sing praises all day and it still wouldn’t be enough. Please give yourself a holiday treat and read it.

The World Forgetting, By The World Forgot by Anonymous

Michael and Alex erase each other from their memories. It does not go according to plan. [Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Roswell style]

I mean, I could rec anything by Anonymous and it would be worth your read. They’re so good and so in character, but this one is my favourite. It’s angsty as fuck, don’t get me wrong, but it plays with the movie plot in such a Roswell-specific way that makes sense that I honestly never even compared or contrasted it to the movie past the first few beats. The pain is visceral, and the memory loss segment is incredible, but also delivers on a positive ending.

To Trust Love by @laughsalot3412

The prisoner’s voice sounded like home. He could have been raised in Roswell, the way his accent stretched his vowels. He definitely hadn’t been. Alex would have remembered eyes like those. (AU where Alex Manes goes on an undercover rescue mission in Caulfield Prison and forms a bond with one of the prisoners in the process.)

I don’t have enough words in the English language to praise this one. Honestly, I don’t. For one, the pace and the length is perfect. That we got the parts as quickly as we did was honestly such a treat, but then every part was just as high quality as the last. There are chapters in this one that made me go, “holy shit, this would’ve been a novel I read”, and then there are little emotional impacts where the tone shifts, but it works so well. It’s SO HOT, and the AU is so perfect, and also helped inspire the one that I wrote last night with the “genie”.

Unwind Me - delgay

“Think you can manage that? Sitting next to me, without picking a fight?” Michael challenged. “Can you?” Alex returned. “No idea,” Michael admitted with a sideways grin that never failed to make Alex’s stomach turn over, “But I’m eager to find out.” Alex is avoiding everyone, but he can’t seem to escape Michael.

This whole fic is intensely amazing, but it got on my rec list for the absolutely electric scene with the dancing that was absolutely beyond incredible. You also get Michael courting Alex, which is something he utterly deserves and I love the way Michael goes about it.

we feel so american by thepredatorywasp

“Papa’s on the spaceship again?” River asks, his bright green eyes welling with tears and his face growing red. “Comin’ back?” “Of course he is,” Alex says, smoothing down the son’s hair and adjusting the Mickey ears atop his head. “Always.” There is no easy way to explain to your three year-old that not only is he an alien, but his Papa is an alien and that apparently, Michael loves leaning hard into irony because he has gone on Space Mountain approximately ten times over the course of four days.

LOOK. I LOVE A SWEET KID FIC. The next rec will prove this, but this one will melt your fucking heart. I love it because it’s not perfect and easy. There’s difficulties, there are issues, but it’s Michael and Alex and their baby boy in Disney and if you do not come away feeling warmer from this, then I just don’t know.

We’re Waking Up Slow by myrmyriad

“I think need a little time to process all of this. Um. Storm’s getting closer and I don’t really wanna get snowed in here, so…let’s just talk later, okay?” What if the storm that blew in during S01E10 came in a lot faster and heavier, and Alex was snowed in at the junkyard?

Again, fic that makes me wish that I could write as well as this. This one makes you feel it all. You’ll feel the cold, the wet, the storm, the pain, the hope, the healing. You feel the connection between Michael and Alex, and you’ll be left wishing at the end that this had been how canon went, but also that it’s justifiably not that far off from how it could have, had they taken a different tack, because of how well it’s written.

What’s Up, Pregnant? by Marie_L

Michael Guerin is broke, practically homeless, and a knocked up secret alien. What now?

Speaking of kid fics, this mpreg is one that I really like, because if nothing else, it introduced the concept of mpreg using pods to me in the fandom, and I kind of went, “YES, of course”. I love that it’s got everyone rallying, but I mostly love the psychic connection between Michael and his baby, and the softness of loving sugar and Alex.

With Love Overflowing by Nestra

"We both agree that this is not the place we belong, right? Please say yes."

Michael tossed his hat on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. "If you mean that your dad's been dead since CrashCon and some kind of crazy shit is going on, then yeah, I agree."

(This one was for me for Secret Santa, it is just THAT GOOD that I want everyone in the world to read it)

x marks the spot (where we fell apart) by catching_paper_moons, preciousthings

“Don’t write it off,” Alex says, and Liz is so relieved someone is coming to her defense, even if it’s someone who already knew beforehand. “Liz and Kyle have ideas, and there are people in this room with literal superpowers. It’s pretty much our only option.” “Our only option?” Isobel scoffs. “What are we, Ocean’s Eleven?”

#malex #malex fic recs #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico fic recs

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amourlyns · 1 year ago

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hey. I already made a request, but if you have a limit you can scrap that one.

My cat has been gone for 3 days (shes never been gone this long, shes an in door cat). We just got a ton of snow and I just overheard my parents saying they think the neighbor did something to her. I've had her since I was 11 and she means so much to me. I've been having a hard time having any sort of fun with my family for the holiday season and if you could I could really use any windbreaker characters of your choice comforting reader about that scenario?

❛ HEY VENGEANCE. ❜ ➜ ⁽ masterlist ⁾

✧ 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕: a jealous owen, reminding you that you’re his forever and always. after hearing a fan compliment you after one of his races.

✧ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: none

✧ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔: owen uses a lot of praise, but he’s also getting his ego fed bc he’s a brat. insane by summer walker was on repeat ngl + imagine that one video of asap hearing riri’s laugh. 😭i’m sorry to hear about your cat!! i hope yall found her in the end. hopefully this fic helps.

⟡ ⠀ | Owen Knight is not insane, you know that and he knows that. So, why is he hearing your voice ? And why does it ring out so clearly in the stadium ? You’re supposed to be in the UK.

Korea wasn’t going to work with you schedule, he knew that and begrudgingly accepted it. So who the fuck is making you laugh and giggle like that? Yeah, he won the race but at what cost ? Where is his baby at—

There you are.

Now you don’t see him, but you could definitely feel his gaze on you, he knows you can. So why aren’t you looking at him? The race was over— and you came to Korea just for him.

So why was another man hogging your attention ? You didn’t even seem remotely interested. Your eyes eventually meet with Owen’s, a smile graces your lips. You’re already making hasty strides in his direction.

Even though all of your attention is on Owen now, his stare still lingers on the man you were talking to moments ago. Owen was always transparent about his feelings, you could read him like a book. He was vocal, and if he was thrown off by something? He would make it known.

He starts it off slow, discussing your appearance in Korea and what a lovely surprise it is, it really was of course. So there was no lie there, but he does mention the man you were talking to before.

❛ Why did you sit closer, baby? ❜ Owen pouts, jutting out his lower lip. You place a quick peck on his lips, cupping his cheeks and chuckling at his own behavior. He’s such a drama king, you’re not quite sure how you manage, especially with him.

❛ Owen, sweetheart I’m only here for you. And you only, so why are you worried? Hm? ❜ He flushes at this, maintaining eye contact. A hand reached out towards your wrist, sending soft kisses around your finger tips. ❛ I deserve all your attention, you know it. ❜

Your practically beats out of your chest, it takes you a moment to remember you two are in a very public space. And he didn’t mind the PDA at all? ❛ Owen, slow down. ❜ It comes out much more softer than intended, he stops. Looking at you with wide expecting eyes. What’s next?

❛ Did he say anything? ❜ Owen huffs, pushing further into your personal space. A smiles graced your lips at his intensity, he is so in love. Isn’t he? ❛ The guy complimented my shirt, he knew I was supporting you. ❜ You’ve obviously struck a nerve.

Owen scowls, pursing his lips at the thought of some stranger complimenting you. Despite the shirt and all. ❛ And that was seriously it? But he was staring at you for so long— ❜ Lips find purchase on his. Quickly silencing Owen in the most effective way.

He’s already asking for another by the time you’re backing up. Trailing you like a lost puppy dog. You let him, of course. Telling him to pack up so you can cuddle at home and enjoy each others company. He’s already agreeing—

#𝐼 . ⁽ 𝐕 ⁾ 𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎’𝚜 : writings.#༄ ✮ ⁽ 𝐕 ⁾ 𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎’𝚜 ⸻ requests.#reader x owen knight #spirithub #windbreaker #windbreaker webtoon #oneshots #oneshot #wind breaker #windbreaker x reader

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flower-boi16 · 7 months ago

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I think what's actually alarming about Helluva Boss and Vivziepop is that the shower suffers from heavy creator-fan enmeshment, and the writers/Vivziepop don't see themselves as the problem for it. It's like they see themselves as the victims, too, while encouraging their fandom's toxic mindset and behaviors.

The writers/Vivziepop are not only too entangled with their fans, but they're THINKING like fan artists/fanfic writers instead of actually making a show. There's a difference between writers of a show and fanfic writing. When you take up the mantel to create a show you have to carry yourself in a way and write your show with a point otherwise you end up with shows like Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel, Miraculous Lady Bug, SVFOE, SPOP, and other shows that fall into that category. Some of them focus more on the shipping than the point of their show to begin with.

What makes a good show is having that distinction or maintaining that professionalism. Creators of shows should NEVER let themselves sink into the cesspool of their Fandoms because they should be focused on their story/message instead of all this shipping/woobing bullshit.

TLDR: Helluva Boss never had potential with VivziePop holding the reigns to begin with. It's too disorganized and unfocused, and with the Fan Enmeshment, it was never going to grow or expand from its fanfic-y feeling. If the creator of the show never grew up, we should never expect the show to grow, too.

Though it is a shame since it could have been charming, had someone more professional taken the show.

Viv definitely was never cut out to handle a big project like this. I’ve said this many times before, but ya, Viv writes like a fanfic writer; everything with how messy the structuring of how her shows is and how poorly they are planned makes me think this.

It reminds me of when I tried to make my first fanfic and just went in without a plan with how to structure it which led to me just abandoning it early on. Viv writes like that.

She didn't listen to criticism of her Zoophobia comic and she still isn’t listing here. She shifted the focus of HB away from the premise to shipping nonsense and now we have this weird mess of a show that doesn’t even know what it wants to be anymore.

Season 2 seems to prioritize relationship drama over the actual premise which caused the show’s downfall. Hazbin feels a bit less fan-ficy but it’s still very messy.

Viv just crams too much shit into too little time which results in the pacing being awful. She paces her shows like a fan fic writer. It feels like she only came In with a small understanding of how show running works and jumped right into the industry because she was excited to show off her gizzalion OCs she had since high school.

Everything about HH/HB feels amateur. I really think that before you get into storytelling you need to actually study how to create good stories, like there are YouTube videos out there you could watch for free that give a run down of what is good or bad writing.

You don’t need to spend 20+ in school to be a good writer but you need to have a basic understanding of how to even write your ideas before you start making stories…which Viv clearly does not.

HB Season 2 in general doesn’t feel like a natural continuation of the first season. It feels like a fan-fic written by a fan after season 1 ended posted on wattpad that the show runners decided to animate and voice into a full season.

Viv should have learned how to run a show before jumping into something as ambitious as this, but she didn’t, and look at what we got.

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #hazbin hotel criticism

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umuulandito · 2 years ago

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burnout (teaser) | jeon wonwoo

SYPNOSIS. 11 years. you’ve been loving wonwoo for 11 years. you’ve loved and supported him since you were 16. and you’re starting to wonder if you can keep living like this. PAIRING. idol!jeon wonwoo x writer!reader GENRE. angst, it’s mostly just angst. NOTES. english isn’t my first language !! para sa mga filipino, inspired by "i'm drunk, i love you" and sugarfree's "burnout". reader has done like 3 different jobs + went to college. multilingual!reader, writer!reader. WORD COUNT. (estimated) 13k DAY OF RELEASE. (estimated) august / september

“In two days, your new drama comes out. This is the… what is it?”

“12th.”

“12th drama you’ve written that’s somehow about Wonwoo.”

“And?”

“So, when will you finally confess to him?”

It’s not the first time someone’s asked you that– or specifically, not the first time Jihoon has asked you that. He’s been asking you that for years now. You can only look into your glass, staring into the abyss of soju and beer because you don’t have an answer.

You’ve never had an answer to it.

“I don’t know. Never? I’ll get over it eventually, probably,” you say. His eyebrows raise and he can only scoff and snaps his fingers in front of you, drawing attention to his face. “Eleven years,” Jihoon remarks. “You’ve never gotten tired of whatever–” his hands point vaguely at you, “this is.”

He gives you a once over and, you don’t have it in you to be offended when he says, “And you look like you don’t plan to stop. You have had every–”

“Not every.”

“Yes, every, chance to confess but it just seems like you keep delaying it.”

Jihoon gives you that look, the look that says ‘Well?’ and you can’t say anything (again). When he lifts his cup up to drink, he looks at you expectantly, eyebrows raised and ready for your response. But it’s just silent.

“Am I wrong?” He asks.

“You’re crazy,” you say rolling your eyes and taking a sip of your own glass.

“See! That’s not a no,” Jihoon laughs. “Well… it just seems kind of a waste,” you laugh tracing the rim of the glass. “We’re good friends… Ha! We’re good friends.”

“But?”

“But…” You sigh, “But he doesn’t love me back.”

When you look at Jihoon, he’s smug. His face says smug but his eyes say pity, they always have. Every time you have this conversation, he always reminds you of this, and well, who doesn’t like to be right? But you can always tell he pities you.

“Timecheck!” Jihoon shouts, you flinch at the sound, what the fuck was that?

“It’s been 11 years, somehow your hopes are still up and nonexistent at the same time,” he says and you roll your eyes, snarky… as always.

You tap your wrist with a scoff, “I know it’s been 11 years. I can read the time, Jihoon.”

He sighs again, “But that’s why it’s so… I don’t think you realize really how long you’ve been hoping.”

That kind of stops you because fuck, he has a point. 11 years… That’s a decade, probably 1/7th of your life– you spent your youth loving Wonwoo, your college years still loving him, and your adulthood continuing to love him. When you think about it, so much of a person can change in 11 years, no one is the same person they were 11 years ago. He’s changed so much over 11 years, you’ve changed so much.

And yet here you were, still loving him. Loving every version, every iteration.

It’s kind of crazy.

Confronted with the reality in your hands. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

You’re confronted with this insane reality and all you can say is…

“Give me time.”

When you meet eyes with Jihoon, he’s looking at you like you just said you plan on quitting writing forever. His eyebrows are raised, eyes wide as saucers, staring at you in absolute shock at your audacity.

“GIVE ME TIME?!”

There we go. You close your eyes letting yourself sit and just absorb the lecture he’s about to give you.

“What type of nonsense is ‘give me time’?!” Jihoon asks. “You believe in the cosmic powers or whatever of the universe–”

You mumble, “It’s called fate–”

“Fine! Fate. God, I feel like I say this every time. You believe in the cosmic supernatural possibilities of whatever fate and the universe have given you E L E V E N years! The universe gave you all the time you could need and yet, here you are!”

You let out a small huff, fiddling with the handle of your glass. Yet here you are.

“I don't know why,” you take a small sip again of your drink, “like, I even made like… 12 dramas about him!” Then you take a larger gulp, “Why are they all about him?!”

Jihoon can only shrug, “Maybe you’re a masochist.”

He was expecting you to deny that actually, you can get so defensive about this sometimes but you’re actually thinking about it. Your eyebrows are scrunched up in concentration as you revisit every drama you’ve made in the past 5 years.

When you look back at him, your brows are still furrowed and you say “You know, I might be. Like, what sane normal person writes Twenty-Five Twenty-One?”

“Or Hotel del Luna. Even worse, that was your debut. So from the start, it’s really all been him.”

It’s always been him. “Everything’s always about him, like, my youth revolved around him and whatever he revolved around.”

“Because he was Seventeen, your youth was Seventeen.”

“My youth was Seventeen… Do you think he knows that like for four years straight he was singing songs about himself?”

That one brings a laugh out of Jihoon, your former partner in crime in writing. One of the only people to witness every step of your writing, which involved staring a lot at Wonwoo. “I don’t think he knows, you’re surprisingly not obvious.”

“Everything’s about him… God, maybe I AM a masochist.”

“Okay, let’s just put it this way, let’s do this differently. Let’s enumerate what your and him’s relationship was for those 11 years, each of those 11 years.”

You can only sigh, as if you haven’t done that several times this night, again when he raises his glass triumphantly. “When did you and Wonwoo first meet?”

“You ask this question but I’m sure you know the answer.”

“Should that stop me from asking? It’s about consistency.”

“Fine. Let’s start from the beginning.”

#seventeen fluff #wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #wonwoo fic #wonwoo scenario #wonwoo imagines #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo angst #seventeen angst

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rjthirsty · 1 month ago

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Kintsugi

Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The gold creates visible seams where the cracks once were. This celebrates the imperfections of the pottery rather than hiding it.

I received this fanfic from @wistfulwanderingone as a Secret Santa gift, and when I tell you that I teared up several times, I'm not joking. She has given me permission to post and name the fic, and Kintsugi was what I thought of at the end of the story. That's how this fic makes me feel. Like Clavis is piecing me back together with gold to celebrate everything I try to hide.

I'm chronically ill, as some of you might know. Wist knows. She is also aware that I'm bed bound often. Sometimes for days at a time. It's hard to be seen as more than my disability, especially when my illness controls so much of my life. But, while it is part of me, it is not all I am. It has been hard to accept that this year, but I'm working on it. And I know Clavis (and Wist, and all my friends) are behind me to remind me that I'm still wonderful even with my imperfections.

Thank you, Wist, for the beautiful gift. It was so personal and thoughtful and I was literally just complaining about how hard it is being sick during the holidays. And then you gave me this. And it's perfect.

The room is quiet except for the faint crackle of the fireplace, casting warm shadows on the walls. Snow blankets the palace grounds outside, muffling the world in a soft hush. You sit nestled in a pile of blankets, your body heavy with the kind of exhaustion that refuses to lift. Your gaze lingers on the window, where frost has painted delicate patterns on the glass, and you wonder what it would feel like to be part of the life outside those frosted windows—free, light, unburdened.

It’s been days since you left this room, the weight of your chronic illness pinning you down like a cage. The days have blurred together into a slow, muted haze, a rhythm of stillness you’ve almost grown used to. Almost. A sigh escapes your lips, soft and wistful, filling the quiet. You’re so lost in thought that you barely notice the door creak open—until his unmistakable voice breaks the stillness.

“Ah, my poor, suffering muse,” Clavis exclaims, sweeping into the room with all the flair of a traveling performer. “Still sulking in here, I see. I was starting to fear you’d been devoured by this cocoon of blankets. Shall I prepare a eulogy?”

The tension in your chest loosens, almost imperceptibly, as you glance over at him. A faint smile tugs at your lips, unbidden but welcome. “I’m not sulking. I’m just…tired.”

Clavis crosses the room in a few long strides, his golden eyes soften as they sweep over you, taking in the weariness you can never quite hide from him. It’s a look that makes you feel seen—truly seen—in a way that isn’t suffocating or pitying. “Sulking, tragically fatigued—semantics. Worry not, for your savior has arrived.”

You raise a skeptical eyebrow, already fighting the pull of a smile. “Clavis, I don’t need saving. I just need rest.”

“Rest?” He clutches his chest as though your words have mortally wounded him. “Oh no, no, no. Rest is for mere mortals, and you, my dear, are anything but mortal. You’re practically divine.”

The corners of your mouth quirk up despite yourself. You roll your eyes, pretending to dismiss him, but already you feel something shift in the room—the heaviness inside you loosening, just a little. “What are you even doing here?”

“I’ve come with a mission,” he declares, dragging a chair to your bedside and plopping into it with far more drama than necessary. “I’m going to make you laugh.”

You blink at him, caught off guard. No one else bothers with this—this effort to distract you from the heaviness that fills the room. “Clavis, I’m fine. You don’t have to—”

“Oh, but I do,” he interrupts, his tone shifting to something more serious beneath the playful lilt. “You see, your laughter is my favorite sound in the world. And the fact that I haven’t heard it in a whole day? Why, that’s a travesty. A true tragedy of epic proportions.”

Your lips twitch despite yourself. “As if that’s a travesty. Do I need to buy you a proper dictionary?”

“As if I’d read something that boring.” Clavis shakes his head, tutting like a disappointed teacher. “And let’s not deflect, my love. Full disclosure: I’m not here for a polite chuckle. No, I demand the real thing—the uncontrollable kind of laughter that leaves you gasping for air. The kind that makes you wonder if you’ll survive the sheer joy of it.”

Your heart warms, despite your exhaustion. He’s ridiculous—insufferably so—but there’s something in the way he speaks, in the light in his eyes, that makes you feel like you’re more than this room, more than this illness. Like you’re the only person in the world who matters.

True to his word, Clavis dives into his antics with the enthusiasm of a man on a mission. He recounts exaggerated tales of palace mishaps, complete with elaborate gestures and voices for every person in the palace. His impersonation of Chevalier—smirking and sly, his voice an octave too high—nearly makes you choke on a giggle.

“And then,” he continues, launching into a pantomimed escape, “I, ever the hero, evaded Chev’s villainous clutches with unparalleled grace and daring!” He stumbles over the rug, nearly losing his balance, then bows with a flourish. “Ah-ha! And thus, a legend was born.”

You cover your mouth with your hand, trying to stifle the laugh threatening to escape. It doesn’t work. The sound bursts free, light and unrestrained, and you feel the smallest weight lift from your chest.

“Ah-ha!” he exclaims, pointing at you as though you’ve just confessed a great secret. “But no, that won’t do. A giggle? My dearest darling, I demand full-blown, uncontrollable laughter. The kind that could summon Chevalier himself, just to tell us to keep it down.”

You roll your eyes, though your smile widens. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re radiant,” he replies smoothly, leaning in closer. His words send warmth blooming across your cheeks. “But I digress. Back to the mission at hand.”

He pulls a small, poorly wrapped package from his coat pocket, holding it out to you with a flourish. “A gift for my one and only.”

You hesitate, your brow furrowing. “You brought me a present?”

Of course,” he says, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “But beware—it’s no ordinary gift. This one is…revolutionary.”

Curious, you unwrap it to reveal a snow globe. Inside, a miniature replica of the palace gardens sits encased in glass, complete with tiny skaters gliding on a frozen pond. You shake it gently, and glittering snow swirls inside. It’s beautiful—breathtaking, even—but before you can say as much, Clavis leans closer.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmur, touched.

“Ah, but you haven’t discovered its true charm,” he states, his voice low with mock suspense. “Turn the little lever at the bottom.”

You do, and the melody that follows is anything but elegant. The tinny, off-key tune crescendos into a jumbled cacophony of squeaks and clangs, pure absurdity. Your eyes widen, and before you can stop yourself, laughter spills from your lips. It’s loud and genuine, the kind of laughter you haven’t felt in weeks.

“There it is!” Clavis exclaims triumphantly, pointing at you like he’s just won a grand prize. “The fortress is breached!”

“It’s awful!” you gasp, shaking the globe again as the absurd tune restarts. “Who thought this was a good idea?”

“Clearly a genius,” Clavis replies, looking utterly pleased with himself. “I made it specifically for you. A one-of-a-kind masterpiece, for my one-of-a-kind love.”

You laugh again, your body lighter than it’s felt in days. His antics are absurd, yes, but they’re more than that. They’re a reminder that you’re still here, still capable of joy. And when he looks at you—his golden eyes warm and bright—you feel seen in a way you haven’t in a long time. Not as someone to pity, but as someone worth every ounce of his energy.

“Clavis, this is—”

“Brilliant?” he interrupts, tilting his head like a smug cat. “Oh, I agree. But don’t let me sway your opinion. Go ahead, laugh some more. It’s my favorite part.”

The hours slip by, each moment brimming with more of Clavis’s relentless antics. He begins with an over-the-top reenactment of how he supposedly triumphed over Leon in an epic snowball fight, claiming victory not just with skill but with the “tactical brilliance of a true general.” His makeshift cape—a blanket he pilfered from your bed—is tied dramatically around his shoulders, fluttering with every exaggerated gesture. In his hand, a sugar cube serves as his noble weapon.

“And then,” Clavis declares, leaping atop the nearest chair with the grace of a performer on stage, “when all seemed lost, when the forces of nature turned against me, I made a daring move! A single, decisive strike!” He hurls the sugar cube onto the bedside table, where it lands with an unimpressive plink. “And just like that, Leon fell before me. And I? A hero crowned by destiny!”

This time when the laughter bubbles over, it doesn’t feel so foreign anymore. Each laugh feels more natural than the last, weaving itself into the fabric of the evening, no longer leaving room for the shadows that usually cling to you. Your cheeks ache from smiling, and you revel in the feeling. “I don’t think Leon would agree with your version of events,” you manage, your voice tinged with amusement.

“Ah, but history belongs to the storytellers, my dear,” Clavis replies with a wink, his grin sharper than the frost on the windowpane. “And fortunately for the world, I have an exceptional gift for embellishment. It’s a heavy burden, being this remarkable, but someone must bear it.”

As if to punctuate his words, he picks up another sugar cube, examining it with mock seriousness. “But wait,” he says, his golden eyes narrowing conspiratorially. “This is no ordinary cube of sweetness. This, fancy fiancée, is a weapon of unparalleled power, forged in the icy winds of battle. A true artifact of destruction.”

You shake your head, still smiling. The weight on your chest feels a little lighter, the tight grip of exhaustion momentarily loosening. “You’re impossible,” you say, though your tone holds no real rebuke—just warmth.

Clavis gasps, clutching the edge of his blanket-cape as though you’ve mortally wounded him. “Impossible? My dear, I am legendary.” He straightens with a dramatic flair, his makeshift cape sweeping the floor as he strikes a pose. “A true visionary never limits himself to what is merely possible. Why settle for reality when imagination is so much more thrilling?”

The absurdity of his words pulls another laugh from you, one that shakes the remnants of the fog you’ve been drowning in. For a moment, you’re not the sickly figure confined to a room—you’re just you, laughing at his ridiculous antics.

But Clavis isn’t finished. In an unexpected move, he drags a chair toward the window and flings it open, letting in a gust of icy air that sends the curtains billowing. You shiver instinctively, clutching your blankets closer as the cold nips at your skin.

“Behold!” Clavis exclaims, pointing dramatically to the snow-covered gardens below. His golden eyes glitter with excitement as he straightens his posture, looking every bit the theatrical knight he imagines himself to be. “The battlefield of legends! Where courage is tested and heroes are made! But fear not, my love—I shall defend your honor!”

Before you can stop him, he flicks a sugar cube out the window. You track its arc through the air, and to your horror (and slight amusement), it lands squarely on Prince Gilbert’s shoulder as he strolls below.

“Clavis!” you gasp, caught between laughter and panic.

Gilbert pauses mid-step, slowly brushing the sugar dust from his shoulder. Even from this distance, the chill of his predatory smile sends a shiver down your spine.

Clavis freezes for half a heartbeat before shutting the window with a flourish, leaning casually against the sill as if nothing happened. “Well, that was unfortunate,” he remarks, the slightest twitch of his lips betraying his amusement.

“Unfortunate?” you hiss. “You just sugar-bombed Prince Gilbert! Do you have a death wish?”

Clavis turns to you with a grin that’s far too relaxed for the gravity of the situation. “Darling, life without a little danger is simply dull. Besides,” he adds, with a conspiratorial wink, “I’ve always been curious about his sweet tooth. Consider it an experiment in diplomacy. I’m practically doing Chevalier a favor.”

You groan, burying your face in your hands, but even then, you can’t stop the laughter that spills out, bright and uncontainable. It fills the room, a sound that feels out of place after so many days of silence. The world outside your window is still heavy and cold, but in this room, warmth floods in.

“You’re going to get us both killed,” you manage between breaths, your voice tinged with exasperation.

Clavis wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth. The gesture feels grounding, safe. “Don’t worry, my love. If it comes to that, I’ll charm my way out of it. Or…” He pauses, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’ll say it was your idea.”

You swat at him, your laughter spilling over again, but this time it’s not just his words that fuel it. It’s the way he looks at you, like you’re the center of his universe. The way he knows exactly how to lift the crushing weight you carry without making you feel small. His devotion cuts through the haze of your illness in a way nothing else has.

Clavis watches you, a look of unguarded affection softening his features, and you realize his joy isn’t just in hearing your laughter—it’s in knowing he’s helped you reclaim it.

“There it is,” he murmurs, his voice quieter now. “That’s the sound I love most.”

Your laughter fades into something softer, more fragile. “Clavis…”

“Do you know what your laughter does to me?” he asks, leaning closer. His golden eyes are warm, searching yours. “It’s the most perfect sound in the world. Joyful, bright, and just a little bit mischievous—just like you. It makes me believe there’s magic in this world after all. And trust me, I don’t say that lightly.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache in a way that has nothing to do with exhaustion. Your cheeks flush, and you glance down at the blankets covering your lap. “You’re being dramatic again.”

“No,” he says firmly, his voice gentler than you’ve ever heard it. “Not about this.” He sits beside you, placing a gloved hand over his heart.

For a moment, the world feels impossibly quiet. Clavis reaches out, brushing his gloved fingers against your cheek in a rare gesture of tenderness.

“You’ve been through so much,” he says softly, his grin fading into something more serious. “And yet, you still laugh. You still shine. That’s what I love about you. And I swear, I’ll keep giving you reasons to laugh as long as I’m breathing.”

The weight on your chest doesn’t feel quite as heavy anymore. The room feels lighter, brighter, infused with his warmth and presence. You lean into his touch, letting the moment wrap around you like a balm.

The day fades into evening, the golden light of the fireplace softening the edges of the room. The warmth flickers across Clavis’s features, painting him in shades of amber that seem almost otherworldly. You’re tired—bone-tired in a way that feels insurmountable—but your heart feels lighter, buoyed by the warmth of his presence. The ache in your limbs is still there, the heaviness of your illness lingering like a shadow, but for the first time in days, it feels bearable.

Clavis lingers by your bedside, his golden eyes scanning your face with an intensity that makes you feel exposed, but not in a way that stings. It’s a gentle kind of scrutiny, one that doesn’t search for flaws but treasures. No one has ever looked at you like that before, as if you’re more than just the sum of your weakness and weariness. His gaze sees you—not the fragile shell you feel like most days, but the person you’ve almost forgotten you are.

“Rest, my lovely lover,” he says softly, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. The warmth of his lips lingers like a promise, grounding you in the moment. His voice is low, coaxing, as if he’s whispering a secret meant only for you. “And when you wake, I’ll be here to make you laugh all over again.”

The corners of your mouth lift into a faint smile, and for once, it doesn’t feel like a strain. Clavis’s devotion is a strange thing—intense, unwavering, and entirely consuming. He doesn’t just want to ease your pain; he wants to rewrite it entirely, to fill the cracks in your world with light and laughter until there’s no room for the darkness to creep back in.

As your eyelids grow heavy, you feel the edges of your mind soften, the weight of your body giving way to the pull of sleep. The warmth of the blankets surrounds you, but it’s his words that linger, wrapping around your heart like the coziest of comforts.

You realize, in that hazy space between waking and dreaming, that you believe him. You believe in his promise to stay, to bring you laughter when you feel like you’ll never smile again. You believe in the joy he carries, the way it spills into your life like sunlight breaking through clouds.

With Clavis, there will always be laughter—unpredictable, unrelenting, and healing. There will always be joy in the smallest moments, like the off-key melody of a snow globe or the glint in his eye when he’s plotting his next ridiculous scheme. And, most importantly, there will always be love—the kind that sees every broken part of you and holds it close, never letting go.

You drift into sleep with that certainty nestled deep in your chest. The world outside is still cold and quiet, but here, with him, there’s warmth that promises to last.

#ikepri fanfic #ikepri clavis #clavis lelouch #ikemen prince #chronic illness #comfort #wist's writing #secret santa gift

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