#this could could have the ultimate gender affirming experiences

[msnihilist]

I think trans!Timmy fans should have some fun with the fact that Wanda and Cosmo can canonically perform instant, perfect surgery.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

ANNA BONESTEEL AND EVAN GREER at Them:

Pride Month is over. As the “LOVE IS LOVE” banners come down and companies lose the rainbow gradients from their logos, we’re faced with a painful truth: LGBTQ+ people, especially the most marginalized among us, are in the crosshairs of a queerphobic backlash that is targeting our health, our histories, and especially our youth. And things are getting worse, not better. According to NPR, half of all US states now ban gender-affirming care for people under 18. Eight states now censor LGBTQ+ issues from school curricula via “Don’t Say Gay” laws, and two more states are considering similar legislation this year. The number-one book targeted for censorship is a graphic novel memoir about gender identity.

This June, Democratic lawmakers marched in Pride parades and spoke on stages, vowing to protect our community and fight back against legislative attacks on queer youth. But some of these same lawmakers are actively pushing federal legislation that would cut LGBTQ+ youth off from resources, information, and communities that can save their lives. Currently, 38 Democratic senators support the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA), a bill that is vocally opposed by many queer and trans youth, along with a coalition of human rights and LGBTQ+ groups. As a queer- and trans-led advocacy group focused on the ways technology impacts human rights, our organization, Fight for the Future, has seen bills like KOSA before: misguided internet bills that try to solve real problems, but ultimately throw marginalized people under the bus by expanding censorship and surveillance rather than addressing corporate abuses. KOSA’s most obvious predecessor is SESTA/FOSTA, a Trump-era bill that its supporters claimed would clamp down on online sex trafficking. Instead, the bill did almost nothing to accomplish its goal, and has actively harmed LGBTQ+ people and sex workers whose harm-reduction resources were decimated by the subsequent crackdown on online speech.

Like SESTA/FOSTA, some of KOSA’s supporters have positive intent. Many lawmakers and organizations support KOSA because they are concerned about real harms caused by Big Tech, like addictive design features and manipulative algorithms. But, also like SESTA/FOSTA, KOSA doesn’t touch the core issues with Big Tech’s extractive, exploitative business model. Instead, KOSA relies on a “duty of care” model that will pressure social platforms to suppress any speech the government is willing to argue makes kids “depressed” or “anxious.”

Under KOSA, platforms could be sued for recommending a potentially depression- or anxiety-inducing video to anyone under 18. We know from past experience that in order to protect their bottom line, social media companies will overcompensate and actively suppress posts and groups about gender identity, sexuality, abortion — anything they’re worried the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) could be willing to argue “harms” kids. How do you think a potential Trump administration’s FTC would use that kind of authority?

Other features of the bill stretch its censorship potential further. Despite language claiming that the bill does not require platforms to conduct “age verification,” to meaningfully comply with the law, platforms will have to know who is under 18. This means they’ll institute invasive age verification systems or age-gating, which can completely cut off access for LGBTQ+ youth who have unsupportive parents, and/or make it unsafe for queer people to access online resources anonymously. KOSA creates powerful new ways for the government to interfere with online speech. For this reason, the bill is like catnip to extreme right-wing groups like the Heritage Foundation, the coordinators of Project 2025, who have explicitly said they want to use it to target LGBTQ+ content. KOSA’s lead Republican sponsor, Marsha Blackburn, has also said in an interview she wants to use KOSA to protect minors “from the transgender.”

The Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) purports to protect children, but in reality, it’s a censorship bill that would impact LGBTQ+ youth. #StopKOSA #KOSA

[drdemonprince]

so first off, sorry bc this is super fucking heavy.

re: commonalities between cis and trans men, and that other ask. something I've had to come to terms with is how even as a teenager before I had the concept of transitioning in my head - I still got all of the societal messaging wrt misogyny, etc. I totally benefited from it, even as a woman. I put other girls down. I was the cool chick. I cashed in where I could with it. i was absolutely a chauvinist when I transitioned. I felt inhuman as a woman, but I understood that ultimately that's the way women were *supposed* to be, as much as I wished otherwise. it took a long time to unlearn that.

my personal experience makes me very uncomfortable when I see other trans men talking about gendered socialization, or how overly negative people are towards men as a class. I wonder if they have ever sat down and really reconciled with the way they have, and do, benefit from their gendered position, or if they've convinced themselves they can't be a "bad person" by virtue of their birth sex.

I can't find a nuanced way to talk about this that won't be read in bad faith as essentialist rhetoric. rape culture is the system by which consent violation is normalized, its all the music and books and movies and bad relationships I assumed were normal and romantic as a young adult. I really, really hurt people, and I did it as men are encouraged to do, and as they are rewarded for doing. I found affirmation in hurting people, and it is so fucking easy to do this without even really thinking of it because it's the entire culture you've come up in.

I'm not even talking like, obvious cases here like phyrical domestic abuse & intentional date rape. there are so many subtle boundary erosions, there's weird gray areas around drugs & alcohol, there's attitudes and expectations in established relationships, there's the potential to exploit community for personal gain. there are partners who will fear you, and freeze and fawn and will not tell you "no."

a lot of the "we need a special word for masculine transphobia" types seem to also disavow the possibility that they hold male privelege. but we need to look at that shit, sexual or otherwise. it's scary to see guys who see women talking about it and they knee-jerk shout back "I'm not a rapist" and "not all men." guarantee some of them are, and just aren't aware of it. i was.

Thank you so much anon for this really brave, candid message. I think it's something that a lot of the trans guys crowing in my inbox about how cis men "are the bad gender" need to hear. (yes, someone literally said that to me). Portraying gendered categories, especially ones based on birth assignment!, as ontologically more evil or pure than others sets people up for abuse. Separating cis men out from trans men erases the ways in which trans guys can both leverage power and the ways in which toxic masculine norms are transmitted culturally to everyone regardless of assigned sex at birth. Lots of trans guys are palpably uncomfortable with their power, and can only see that relative to cis men, they experience transphobia and misogyny in greater amounts, and so they presume they must be in a highly victimized category. But they dont ever consider that as men they can and do often wield power over women -- especially trans women -- and they've got to fucking learn how to handle that reality responsibly, which many cis men actually do know how to fucking do. Especially multiply marginalized cis men who have been preyed upon and exploited themselves.

I think it's really powerful to hear you taking ownership of the actions you've taken that have hurt others, and the allure such actions had. Very few people have the courage to look their lower moments in the face and affirm that it's actually a part of them. If we're ever going to stop abusing and talking over women we've got to own up to our shit. I've seen what can happen when men come together to be vulnerable about their struggles, own their wrongdoing, and seek to change -- back when I was working in a men's drug treatment program. We can overcome this shit and take responsibility. But a lot of the birthday boy trans guy squad is incensed by even the idea of owing anything to anyone. Like a lot of MRAs.

[queerprayers]

Hello! I'm a genderfluid Christian and I'm currently trying to discern whether going on HRT would be a good idea, both in terms of whether it would be worth the inconvenience and whether it would be glorifying to God. Do you have any recommendations?

(For a long time, I was comfortable in my gender without it, but a few months ago something shifted and now I can't stop thinking about it. I would ask a pastor, but I'm between churches at the moment; the Baptist church I went to for many years, despite its many good qualities, is not at all affirming, and I'm still in the process of finding a better spiritual home, which is further complicated by the fact that I am nocturnal.)

Thank you for running this blog, by the way. It means a lot to me.

Hello, beloved! I will do my best and I'm so glad you're here.

I hope you've heard this quote from Daniel M. Lavery, but just in case you haven't: "As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: 'God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.'"

Another quote from that book (Something That May Shock and Discredit You, which I highly recommend) that comes to mind is “Trying not to transition was the hardest work in the world. The nicest thing about transition was letting go.” I believe you that you're unsure, and I'm not trying to make your decision for you, but on the off chance that any of your discerning has taken the form of trying to convince yourself not to transition in this way, or downplaying your current discomfort, or not trusting yourself out of fear, I'd say that being trans in this world is hard enough without being on your own side.

Ultimately, you know yourself and your experience, and I'd hazard a guess that you've already decided more than you think. Often by the time I'm reaching out about a life change, I'm asking permission more than advice. If that rings true, here's your permission (not that you need it from me).

I hope you don't mind, but I checked in with my partner (a certified Transgender) while answering this, and I'll paraphrase what they had to say about HRT and inconvenience: Is the travel time to see a loved one worth the inconvenience? Ultimately, you are worth dealing with inconvenience. The happiness you could have is worth the inconvenience. Being trans is hard with or without medical transition. But sharing in the act of creation is worth it. We are all worth doing hard things for, and for some that includes fighting to get on HRT and being visibly trans in public.

You can't know until you begin a journey if it will be "worth it"—but I would imagine answering this for yourself, giving this instinct inside you a chance, would be worth it even if it's not forever. There are people who start HRT and decide it's not for them—and their lives aren't ruined. Their lives are fuller for honoring what they wanted at that point in time. Obviously regret happens—but we cannot refrain from living because of that. Your gender identity and your relationship with your body may change and grow, and all parts of that change are worth of honoring.

As to whether this would glorify God—are you honoring the person God created? If (to paraphrase St. Teresa of Ávila) Christ has no body now on earth but yours, if yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world, the feet with which he walks to do good, the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world —what body are you moving through this world with, and how will you care for it? What will enable you to live out Christ? Jesus calls us to meet every stranger as himself—what would happen if you met yourself as such, too? If everything we do to another is what we do to Christ—feed, clothe, honor—why would you be any less? Why would your body not be worthy of existence, of shelter?

If our bodies are temples to God, are they not places of worship? Of course my journey with accepting my body has shown me that we can be faithful Christians before accepting ourselves, and as we learn to care for ourselves. I don't mean to imply we cannot. But our peaceful existence in these places of worship takes work, and just as we work to make our churches more accessible and accepting, so must we work to care for our bodies and fully inhabit them as prayer. My work of love to my body was accepting it as it is, welcoming its change and faults, and also taking psychiatric medication so that I could function better. It was prayer for me, the journey to find a medication that worked and paying attention to how it was changing me, how it enabled me to better serve as a child of God.

Every trans person I know has been more fully able to love when they live as themselves—when they've had access to transition care, when they've been respected and affirmed. These were not selfish choices, they were self-honoring choices which have shone outward ever since. We can look to the Bible to see name changes at moments of God-glorifying change, and we can also see physical change—the shining face of Moses, the woman who only seeks to grasp the hem of Jesus's clothing to be healed, Paul going temporarily blind, Jesus himself at his transfiguration. We cannot serve God and stay the same.

Romans 12 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice—living. Yes, we are called to be willing to die for love, but also to live for it. Preventing your flourishing because it would be scary, or inconvenient, or misunderstood, or because it may not be where your flourishing lies forever, is not a sacrifice for love. Transition, the way I've seen it in the people around me, is.

I also want to point out that you've done the work—you introduced yourself as a genderfluid Christian. I don't know your story, but I know the years of reconciling saying those words can take. You have the language for yourself. You know who you are. HRT can be a huge first step for some, but it can also be just the next part of that work. It doesn't have to be huge. For some it is simply bringing things more in line with the self they've known all along. Make it a big deal if that feels true (and it is a big deal in terms of bravery and access), but it may become just one of many ways you care for yourself. You don't have to cater to those who see it as drastic or an emergency, those who fearmonger or want you to prove you need it. You've done the work, so trust that you are capable of making this decision.

It is your God-given right to make decisions about your body. As Christians, we believe we are called to serve God with those decisions. But God gave us the reins. God gave us all different skills and stories and paths. It is not easy or obvious and sometimes we circle back or regret or repent. God gave us the capacity for those kinds of stories, too. Be human with God—our God who entered into time and space, who participated in our having-a-body-ness, who reconciled the ways his body held him back and the ways he could serve with it. Jesus's relationship with his gender/body/health is not something we're privy to but from other parts of his life we can assume it was a participation in his time and place—a 1st century Jewish man. In the communities you're a part of, with the resources you have, with the identities you have welcomed, how will you be human with him?

I don't know what healthcare is available to you where you are, but a good doctor can tell you the side effects, refer you to counseling as you make choices, give you dose and timeline options. Even if you don't end up going on HRT, seeking out trans-inclusive healthcare and community is a good choice, and I would recommend learning your options. If you can't stop thinking about this, trust that it's worth taking seriously.

I wish you all the best in finding a church/community—there are people equipped to love all of you, and you deserve to find them. I relate with the nocturnal bit—I know Catholics usually have a Saturday night service, and every so often another kind of church will. Online community can fill gaps and give us other ways of connection as we look for physical communion. I wish I could promise affirming religious spaces in every place, but I can only pray and work for that to someday be the case.

So, to answer my lover's question, the travel time to see a loved one is worth it. The journey to the you more full of love is worth it, and the journey to find a spiritual home is worth it. If we are pilgrims on this earth, may the things in our control be done with love, may our journeys be faithful, may our bodies be Christ's body, trusting in the Love greater than anything we can do. How you will be a steward of God's creation is not something I can answer for you, but I believe in your ability to sow the seeds within you. HRT may be the next part of your creation—you can give yourself some time, talk to some people, sit with the idea, consider how you would handle regret, and don't let me tell you what to do, but ultimately there is only one way to know, and waiting until we're sure is stagnation if it is not an active waiting.

To quote my Easter/TDOV post: Come to life, beloved. God sees you. The first steps out of the tomb may be stumbling, the dawn too bright, but we will meet you in the garden, where you were first created. Bring with you whatever is still bleeding—Jesus believes in you, touches the ache in your ribs. Mistake him for a gardener; let him plant you anew. Look to the wound in his side, see how it births the Church, and continues to until there is room for you. Look through the holes in his hands and see the world you were redeemed for, the self that you have already found or may only imagine. God made the grapes, and Christ stands in the winepress with you. Trample out your wine.

And lastly, to turn the patron saint of receiving sacraments presenting as God calls, even unto death, Joan of Arc's affirmation into a command (and purposely quoting an angel in the process): Be not afraid. You were born to do this.

<3 Johanna

[unavailableapple]

Excuse me for coming to your askbox, I am not a radfem and don't agree with a lot of it's principles, yet I find radfem spaces are the only place where discussion of nonbinary identity has any nuance. Personally I have no problem with people doing whatever they want with their own bodies/minds/labels but I did struggle to wrap my head around just how many people started IDing as nonbinary during the last few years. Now recently it's been a bit of the opposite, with a noticeable amount of previously out and proud nonbinary people dropping the label. I've heard some people discuss it like it was just "in fashion" for a while, while others insist it's a result of gender experimentation or having to go back in the closet due to the political climate. But it's not just the young, I noticed that includes some of the first nb people I knew, who were nonbinary before 2020, hell, before 2015. I know you had a similar experience, so I just wanted to hear your opinion on this whole phenomenon, why it's happening and why now, and if you expect the trend to continue?

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot and honestly the short answer is: I’m not sure.

The long answer:

I think that these things come in waves. Think about BBL surgery (Brazilian butt-lift surgery). When that surgery was really popular, I’m sure it felt like a very real need to the women who got it. Similarly, my nonbinary identity felt very real to me. But once you apply any amount of pressure to either of these, they start to break. Because really what does it mean to be nonbinary? Why do I NEED to express myself as nonbinary? Why does she NEED to have a large posterior? Eventually you realize, it is misogyny. That’s all it is. And then the whole thing falls apart…Aside from that, even if you don’t acknowledge the misogyny, these things are ultimately superficial and, as such, fall away once one reaches a certain point of adulthood.

I don’t mean adulthood as in becoming an adult human I mean adulthood as in a certain level of struggle that makes fanciful discussions of pronouns seem taxing. Eventually real life catches up and you don’t feel like wasting your precious free time thinking about whether you use they, she, he, or meow pronouns. I think the lasting effects of COVID have meant terrible things for the general public and a lot of people are struggling to pay rent or afford food. I know that what first made me stop caring about pronouns was when I was homeless and thought a lot more about finding a safe place to sleep than making sure everyone calls me he/meow/it pronouns.

Then I think there’s the climate of the trans community right now. When I was younger, there was an idea of, “Being trans is equally hard for males AND females”. But now the dominant narrative seems to be that trans identified males have it a thousand times harder being trans and trans identified females face no oppression at all. I do think this drives more trans identified females out of trans spaces and leads them to find more community with other women. This was the case for several of my friends. Once the trans community told them, “You don’t face any oppression” even though they did (by right of being female), they stopped feeling aligned with a nonbinary identity and suddenly realized they felt more aligned with being female, on the basis of shared experiences.

Finally, it could genuinely just be that it’s falling out of fashion. I’m of an era where I, like a lot of young women my age, was the froggy jumper round glasses meow/it pronoun using boyflux aligned aroace nonbinary person and that was in style. Nowadays kids on TikTok make fun of that and it’s much less “in”. Recently Mitski cut her hair short and people started calling her “theyfab”. For the uninitiated, theyfab is a rude term the trans community uses for a female person who identifies as nonbinary, especially if she doesn’t do anything to express this nonbinary identity beyond cutting her hair. They were not trying to “affirm” Mitski, they were making fun of her for being a gender nonconforming woman, and they were making fun of the women who identify as nonbinary. No matter what, it’s always “in” to make fun of women so if a lot of women are identifying as nonbinary, it’s going to be “in” to make fun of them and it is. On pinterest, Nonbinary identities are already being relegated to “2010s nostalgia” the way moustache tattoos on pointer fingers are “2000s nostalgia”, these things come and go.

So yeah, I ultimately don’t know, and these are only a couple among my many many MANY different theories. But based on my own experience and the experiences of people I know, this is what I’ve been thinking.

[marksman-transmasc]

First hot take on this account!

Trans people on tumblr (and online in general) LOOOOVE to create terms that ultimately divide the community! I learned what TMA and TME was less than 5 minutes ago and it's the most ridiculous thing I've heard ever. Not only does this fucking out people, but it's buying into the entire argument of "who has it worse?"! Spoiler alert dipshits! You both have issues, whether you're tmasc/tfem (the main issue here, I'm not excluding other people on the trans spectrum this is just targeted)! You have a lot of these issues! WE have a lot of these issues! We got places banning gender affirming care, we got kids and adults being fucking murdered, we got tons and tons of people disgusted by our existence, and all you fuckers can do is sit around and argue amongst yourselves instead of trying to make a difference in the world. Get off the internet and get a life. The community is literally dying and more divided than ever when we need each other the most. Get over yourselves. Talk about your issues in a way that isn't doing damage, and show each other compassion for those issues. You may be on two sides of the spectrum, but think for a second about how much you could have in common. You could both be artists, both be into fashion, both love the same kinds of music, both have a childhood pet with the same name, both be REALLY GOOD FRIENDS, but instead of trying to connect with people your experience as a trans man/trans woman turns into a big game of trauma olypmics. End post.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write the TADC cast with a male ballet dancer reader? The reader experiences gender dysphoria 24/7 because they look very feminine and all that.

TADC cast x male!ballet dancer!reader w/ dysphoria

back to finishing up the current line up of requests!! reminder that im only doing requests that have been sent in prior to them being closed! any requests that are sent in while theyre still closed will not be taken and will be deleted so i can keep track of what was sent before closing; its nothing against any of yall and you guys can resend your stuff when they are reopened (i will make it very obvious when they are so dw!!) on a different note i could have sworn i did a cast request with a reader who does ballet; but i guess it was only for jax and i was confusing the group request for the ballora type! reader from this morning huh anyways!! i hope you enjoy this anon! quick warning that i know literally nothing about ballet so im

CAINE:

i think he enjoys a bunch of art forms; from music stuff to dance stuff to painting stuff, this man has taste. i think he would give you a bunch of outfits for you to wear and swap around that fits your aesthetic. bro would give you a whole walk in closet. as for dysphoria, i think he would do a similar thing with jax and reinforce how masculine you are to him, usually through affirmations, but he also shows it through just being there for you, bro is not only your number one fan but hes also your biggest supporter

POMNI:

i am yet again stumped on what to put in for pomni, since i think pomni is. bad at comforting people. very awkward, do not go to her for advice she will fumble so bad. now its not like shes not trying, but i think she would be all over the place trying to cover everything that could possibly help you; perhaps you two ultimately settle on cuddling one another... if this werent the digital world you two would probably put on a movie to take your mind off of it. as for her thoughts on ballet! i think she would find it neat, similar to jax she would have a form of respect for it!

RAGATHA:

she thinks it looks pretty, the dancing! she wouldnt know all the history or more in depth parts of it but she would watch you practice if you allowed her too... i think she would make you a binder, if your digital body causes any gender dysphoria for you.. though now that i type this i recall it being said that the characters clothing being stuck to their body.. so maybe she would just make you clothing thats more masculine as well? im not sure on this one!

JAX:

doing jax first since he already got a similar post and i can use it as a basis; ive said this in that post as well as the ballora one but i think he would at least appreciate the dedication and hard work that goes into ballet... to like, fully commit to something like that impresses him you know? as for dysphoria, i think he would make it a point to call you more masculine terms. hes gonna be trying his best to try to help you with your dysphoria in the way that best helps you. lays off on his teasing on days where its worse

KINGER:

i am yet again distraught that i do not have many ideas for kinger this time, which is sad because hes my favorite character and i can relate so hard to the dysphoria thing... thinks.. probably throws all of his knowledge at you. i mean hes been in the circus for a while, hes probably seen at least a few people come and go; and sure what are the odds that he has some experience helping someone fight through their dysphoria... a boy can dream! takes you to his pillow fort and lets you stay for as long as you want

probably sits and watches you dance on a makeshift pillow thrown. claps when you're done, probably throws roses... i think caine would throw roses too except he would throw way more simply because he can literally. manifest as many as he wants

ZOOBLE:

i dont usually like sharing my lgbt hcs about characters out of fear that it would be met with discourse but if i recall correctly zooble doesnt really have a gender/a set one (if im wrong correct me!) so they understand the dysphoria thing; i think they would offer to let you hang out in your room and vent your feelings out. probably tries to give advice on how to feel better in general if you want advice, but if you want comfort theyre gonna do your best to give it to you. i dont think zooble would have much of an opinion on ballet; neither negative or positive, simply knowing thats its an art form! supports you if it makes you happy, though!

GANGLE:

while not the same thing, i like to think gangle used to do ribbon dancing in the real world... because... ribbon girl. see look im so so creative

but also i think it looks pretty

so you guys can bond over your hobbies! you might have to pry gangle to open up and talk about her interest in it, assuming she picks it up again in the digital world! as for dysphoria, i think gangle would be like zooble in terms of lending you some support; offers to help distract you if you dont want to tackle the issue at that point in time. i dont know about you, but sometimes i just, dont want to deal with my own dysphoria, but perhaps thats just a me thing

[jesterwriting]

I saw your requests are open and I wanted to ask if you could write headcanons or drabbles (whatever you feel like) about how Zoro, Sanji and Law would take care of/help a trans masc Reader having a bad gender dysphoric day? Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! ♡

(not sure if you write for Mihawk but if you end up making headcanons and write for him, it'd make me really happy if he were among them as well 👉👈)

pairing: zoro x reader, sanji x reader, law x reader, mihawk x reader (separate)

contents: transmasc!reader, gender dysphoria, clueless but he tries zoro, ‘it’s not dysphoria, it’s dysphoriUS’ sanji, talks of gender affirming surgery in law’s

word count: 1.5k words

note: so personally i don’t experience a lot of dysphoria besides some chest dysphoria, so this might not be the best. just know that i tried VERY hard and i hope you enjoy these headcanons all the same :3 i love to put out trans centered content when i can hehe <33

playlist: rabbit in a headlight - autoheart

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro, bless his heart, doesn’t get it. To him, you look perfectly masculine and it’s hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that you think otherwise. His first instinct is to invite you to work out with him; get your endorphins going. (There’s nothing more masculine than getting sweaty with another man.) Zoro will give you tips as to what muscles to train to get a build you’ll be happier with. If you need it, he will even help write up a training regimen for yourself, especially if his original plan of working out helps you. Zoro won’t go easy on you, he knows your strengths and weaknesses enough to know what you can handle. That said, he may end up overestimating your abilities in an attempt to get you to push yourself. In terms of taking care of you, Zoro might bring you a glass of water, maybe a plate of food if you missed a meal. It took him a lot of effort to keep enough food away from Luffy to fill your plate, so you better be thankful. Give him a smile and watch his ears turn pink.

Words of affirmation are not his strong suit. If you need to vent, he’ll be there, of course. His replies will be blunt and to the point as he leans against the side of the ship, one eye open as he listens to you. Zoro might come off as a little insensitive with his words, but ultimately, he wants you to understand that he doesn’t view you any different from any other man he knows. If anyone misgenders you, may god have mercy on their soul. They will have a very unhappy swordsman barking up their tree within seconds. Afterwards, Zoro will remind you not to listen to idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about.

Black Leg Sanji

Unlike Zoro, words of affirmation are Sanji’s speciality, second only to acts of service. Listening carefully to your words, he will interrupt every so often to compliment you, or to remind you of how handsome he finds you. He can feel his heart crack at the thought of you feeling ill at ease with your body, taking it a bit more personally than he needs to. Sanji loves you deeply, and the fact that you are hurting while there is little that he can do about it is enough to drive him batty. As you’re explaining how you feel, you can see tears well in his eyes. It’s a little awkward, if not sweet that he cares about you enough to take your feelings to heart. You won’t be expected to move a muscle so long as you’re feeling bad. Sanji brings your meals to you, each one hand made with as much love as he could muster. He hopes you can taste it.

As soon as you want to get up, you’ll notice that every mirror on the Sunny is covered by a blanket so as not to cause you any unnecessary stress. Sanji treats you as if you are made of glass, and is more than a bit dramatic with his attempts to help you. The entire day, he follows you around, offering declarations of how handsome you are at every step. It would be somewhat annoying if his attempts weren’t entirely in earnest. Like Zoro, Sanji doesn’t quite understand dysphoria. How you perceive yourself and how he perceives you differ enough that it confuses him, and he feels like he’s not doing enough as a partner to make you feel comfortable in your own skin. You’re going to have to explain to him that it’s something entirely out of both of your control. You just have to ride the wave when it arrives. Sanji understands that, at least. On bad days, you will have your very own cheerleader, entirely willing to wait on you hand and foot.

Trafalgar Law

Like Zoro, Law is very solutions based. He is a doctor, not only does he understand how you feel — at least in a medical sense — he comes equipped with solutions other’s aren’t able to offer. If he catches you avoiding mirrors or wearing baggy clothing more often, he will sit you down and offer said solutions to you. You are aware that it’s not outside of his capabilities to perform gender affirming surgery, right? He is more than happy to provide if it means you’ll feel euphoric rather than dysphoric. Of course, any surgery is a big decision. Take time to discuss it with him and yourself, Law is patient and more than willing to help explain the process if you want him to. If you decide against it, Law understands. It’s a very big, very permanent decision, though he assures you he’s available if you ever change your mind. To help assuage your fears, Law will offer you one of his textbooks that detail gender affirming care, openly explaining any medical term you’re unfamiliar with and processes you don’t understand.

In terms of taking care of you, Law is more than a little awkward. He gives good, albeit stiff, hugs. His arms are long enough to fully wrap you in his embrace and hold you against him for however long you need. (That said, you can feel him start to get antsy once you pass the sixty second mark.) If you’re having trouble showering, Law offers to share the bathroom with you. Of course, he would have his back to you, he assures. It would just be easier to get done if you have someone in there distracting you from any negative thoughts. If you want to spend the day in bed, Law will join you throughout the day, laying next to you and quietly reading when he has down time. He enjoys sharing space with you, and if you want, he will even absentmindedly run his fingers through your hair as you lay next to him. It’s hard for Law to properly take care of others when he can hardly remember to eat half the time. For you, however, he is attentive and caring, treating you like a patient until you feel 100% yourself again. Every thirty minutes, Law will ask you on a scale of one to ten how you feel, never judging you for your response.

Dracule Mihawk

Like Law, and unlike Sanji and Zoro, Mihawk understands your dysphoria. While he’s never experienced it himself, he’s lived long enough to know what it is and what it entails. Lending you a listening ear, he is quiet as you speak, fully absorbing the weight of your words while you vent to him. He lays next to you in bed, an arm wrapped around your shoulder, his thumb gently stroking your skin. Once you’re done, he offers cool words of affirmation, a balm for your aching soul. Afterwards, like Zoro, he offers to help you train your body to be one that you’re able to feel euphoric about. And if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, Mihawk is more than happy to pull some strings and get you to meet Ivankov. They are far more equipped to help you than he is. Of course, if you much prefer comfort over solutions, Mihawk is capable of that as well. He will make you a cup of tea, pour himself a glass of wine, and sit by your bedside for hours, simply sharing the space with you, his golden eyes studying every inch of your frame for any obvious signs of distress.

Mihawk thinks you look wonderful, no matter what you wear. If you find comfort in baggy, oversized clothing, he will think you look just as good now as you do in elegant suits, perfectly tailored to fit your body. His only preference is for you to wear soft fabrics. Something he can run his hands over when he passes you by in the halls or when he’s greeting you in the kitchen. Cashmere and velvet are two favorites of his. In the days that follow, Mihawk will run his calloused palm along the sides of your face, placing a chaste kiss to your lips, before he tells you how handsome you look today. It’s not the first time that he’s complimented you, but it certainly comes as a surprise. After learning that there are days you are more ill at ease with your body than others, Mihawk makes more of an effort to compliment you. Reminding you that he sees and appreciates the man in front of him.

[familyabolisher]

Hi, Ave! Loved your post about gendered socialization, though there was one part I didn't fully understand: "even in its most charitable form, it attempts to present a complete account of "womanhood" and account for transfemininity only after the fact via hamfisted exceptionalism, rather than beginning with transmisogyny as the lynchpin of gendering and developing itself from there."

Could you please explain how transmisogyny functions as the lynchpin of gendering? I've read a decent amount of trans feminism and Marxism but don't remember coming across this idea before.

so what i was describing in the first part of that sentence was a tendency to articulate a particular discourse of structural gendered violence & the oppression of women into which trans women/TMA people are then kind of axiomatically deposited; it is a kind of feminism which considers itself ‘inclusive’ of trans people on the surface but is still, in its essential apparatus, hung up on ‘men’ and ‘women’ as immutable categories, and thus finds itself kind of skirting around necessary questions of how transness problematises these essentialist understandings of patriarchy by, as i said, falling back on tautology and circular reasoning. the logic goes something like—women are oppressed; trans women are women; therefore trans women experience women’s oppression. but the first statement has under this discourse become a complete and comprehensive construct without accounting for transmisogyny in the first place. within that, there are (sometimes) some gestures made towards the specific subjective experience of being a trans woman, but it’s always, like … womanhood is a preconceived category into which trans women have then been discursively slotted, rather than figuring womanhood as a category within which trans women are an essential component. there’s this baseline reluctance to admit, i think, that cis women can be agentive within and beneficiaries of gendered violence, just as much as they can be subjugated by it.

anyway, what i meant in the second half is that i think this discourse has it the wrong way around. there is no womanhood without trans womanhood, is maybe the best way of putting it; the kind of abjection that transmisogyny enforces is an abjection necessary for cis womanhood and cis manhood to make sense of themselves. transfemininity comes to stand as like, the worst thing someone can possibly be and thus as a discursive space onto which the ultimate incoherence of gender and the violence of being a subject within it can be siloed off. for example, the sexual subjugation of cis women (cis women being raped, cis women coerced into marriage, coerced into having children, cis women being denied sexual autonomy) becomes coherent (bearable, arguably) to cis women through the sexual abjection of trans women (denied access to the socially elevated status of the childbearing wife in the nuclear family, afforded sexuality through peripheralised sexual relations like sex work, reifying heterosexuality by threatening it). similarly—and this one is pretty straightforward—cis masculinity is affirmed and bolstered through the abjection of femininity in those coercively regarded as ‘men.’ so basically, writing a script for gendered violence and then tautologically inserting trans women/TMA people into an already-finished product is a limited and incoherent understanding of how gendered violence actually works. others have explained this better than i could and if any of you can dig those posts out i will be v happy, but. i hope this goes some way towards explaining what i meant.

[risingscorchingsuns]

What was hikaru's transition experience in the corps? How did they take his coming out (if that happened)? How easy was it for him to get care (you said shinobu did his top surgery)?

This is a great question! Unfortunately Hikaru being trans is one of the most historically inaccurate parts of his story, if not medically, then definitely socially. I use a lot more modern methods and language because I wanted Hikaru to be trans similarly to how I am. It’s my canon-accurate Achilles Heel 😭

Don’t get me wrong, trans people definitely existed back in the Taisho period!! We’ve always been here, but back then we were recorded a little differently, generally regarded as “women in men’s clothing”, et cetera. I will never deny their existence, and Hikaru being modern with his gender expression isn’t meant as erasure or denial to them, but as an expression of myself via a fictional character. Their existence is real, and valid, and they are no less trans than Hikaru- at the end of the day, he’s my silly little self insert, and I wanted to write his experiences based off of mine. If the focus of Hikaru’s story was his gender journey, I would put more emphasis on the time period and the difficulties surrounding being trans in the Taisho period, but the themes surrounding Blazing Heart’s Rhapsody are acceptance and solace found within family, and love in spite of war. This isn’t a story about trans people- Hikaru just happens to be trans ☺️

Hikaru realized he was a boy very very young, (probably around 6 or 7) and his father, Hiroki, encouraged him to live in whatever fashion made him feel most comfortable. Because Hikaru grew up in the woods with only his father and little brothers, he was never really socialized as a woman or a man- he was just Hikaru, the oldest Eritora child. He likely hit puberty while living on his own in the Sumitomo Forest, but didn’t experience dysphoria until he was found by the Kochos when he was 16. When he was brought into the Corps, Hikaru experienced gender norms full-force for the first time. It wasn’t really that they didn’t support Hikaru being trans, it was more that he didn’t fit. He was Different, and that made him Othered. For the first time, Hikaru was struggling with where he belonged, and that was when he started to really learn the societal importance placed on gender roles. Additionally, Hikaru is neurodivergent, so these norms never made much sense to him logically in the first place. So while he never really had to come out, he did have to fit in, which was difficult for him to navigate. He talked to Shinobu, who in all her medical expertise, gave him the best advice she could. She was the one who helped him hormonally transition, (if she can inject herself with 700x the lethal dose of wisteria without fucking poisoning herself, she can probably make Hikaru’s testosterone. She’s iconic like that I think.) and ultimately it was Shinobu who helped Hikaru figure out where he stood in terms of gender identity. Hikaru is a self-made man in every sense of the phrase, but he couldn’t have done it without the help of those around him.

As for top surgery, I don’t really have a canon-friendly justification for that. Shinobu’s not a plastic surgeon, she’s probably done minor surgeries before, but never anything to the level of gender-affirming surgery. I feel like she’d DIY that shit tbh. She could pull it off. I’d let her do my top surgery. Shinobu says trans rights 🗣️

Thank you for this ask!!! I rarely get to do longform Hikaru analysis :D

[anamericangirl]

(1/2) So to that one anon. First of all, yes the removal of completely healthy tissue and Frankenstein-esk construction of some gross approximation of human genitals is, was, and always will be, mutilation. Second. Yes, despite the fact that you losers continually try derail conversation so that no one notices, There are children receiving procedures such as double mastectomies (literally just google Chloe cole. Or that creepy plastic surgeon who was bragging on tik tok about doing surgeries on minors and even telling these kids and their families to contact her if they can’t get the surgeries they want. There are more verifiable examples I could provide here, but I’m not going to write you a book of examples since you probably won’t listen anyway. Even if you say “those are isolated cases” it doesn’t make it any less disturbing) and lastly there have been many videos of doctors ( a lot of whom advocate for “gender affirming healthcare” and or hold high positions on boards and in organizations for these types of things) admitting that puberty blockers are not as safe and effortlessly reversible as y’all would have people believe, but rather causes a lot of long term damage such as infertility, losing the ability to ever achieve an orgasm, and the underdevelopment of sexual organs such as a micro penis in boys. Not to mention the other long term risks such as osteoporosis, vision issues, and brain swelling. And this isn’t me spitting this information after some convoluted game of telephone. You can watch videos of respected board certified doctors saying these things directly. A lot of this is info that comes directly from the fda, nhs, and literally organizations for trans “healthcare” a lot of which are specifically targeting children. And yet the argument is always “you shouldn’t prevent anyone no matter how young from accessing blockers, hormones or surgery! Stop talking about the damages these things cause you bigot! They need these things or they’ll kill themselves!” No one ever wants to actually treat these things. When you just go: surgery! hormones! etc, you are effectively putting a band aid over a gunshot wound. You don’t get to the root of the problem which is ultimately, weather you like it or not, a form of mental illness and or disorders. These people should in no way be demonized for being mentally Ill. It’s not their fault and they would never have asked for this but they need true psychiatric help. You wouldn’t give a girl with an eating disorder a gastric bypass if she said she was going to kill herself, but that’s effectively what we do to these people. The problem is that it’s never going to be enough. No amount of surgery or any other of these treatments will ever make it okay, not because “society is bigoted and won’t affirm me!” It’s because the individuals themselves feels a crazy amount of cognitive dissonance in their every waking moment, because they are living a lie and denying reality. There are perfectly happy trans adults like Blaire white and Marcus dib who are secure and confident in their transitions. Why? Because they have accepted the objective reality of their biology while just enjoying living their lives as the opposite sex. Giving irreversible “solutions” to children who simply enjoy activities society has decided doesn’t align with their sex, or who feel uncomfortable in their bodies at the single most uncomfortable time in a human life (childhood and adolescence, where you start from scratch attempting to figure out both the world and yourself, and just when you start to have it figured out, your body goes through all these changes you cant control and didn’t ask for) it’s bound to cause a lot of problems. The thing is though, statistically, (and feel free to fact check me on this one) over 80% of children who at some point experience gender dysphoria are rid of it completely upon finishing puberty. And the amount of trans adults who have some other underlying mental issues or are mentally ill in some way and don’t actually experience true dysphoria is astounding.

(2/2) cont. Depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, anorexia, asd, add, adhd, the list goes on. The statistics don’t lie, the amount of people who identify as trans and also have some other mental health issues is staggering. I have to say though, (putting aside the fact that they won’t believe me) I truly bear no Ill will towards these people. Living with mental health problems is hellish. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. In fact I find it disgusting that the medical system and such a large portion of society today (at least in the west) has just been blindly affirming them to the detriment of these individuals and the people around them. Medicalizing people for life is not the near perfect solution it’s touted as. Medically transitioning is not a “Try it and see how you feel,and if you don’t like it we can just pump you with more hormones and everything will be as it was” situation. That doesn’t solve anything. No one is born in the wrong body. That’s not the problem. The problem is that their minds are constantly at war with reality and they are suffering as a result. People not affirming their delusions isn’t what’s truly causing that. (Also big apology to whoever runs this blog, didn’t expect this to be this long)

No apology necessary because you are absolutely correct and said it better than I could! Anyone spouting out lines like "puberty blockers are completely reversible! No one regrets transition! Minors aren't getting surgery!" is advertising the fact that they've never researched this issue in their life (certainly not both sides) and are just repeating talking points they've heard.

Because the fact is there are several testimonies of people who received these surgeries as minors and being "isolated incidences" doesn't mean they don't count. It doesn't mean others haven't experienced this. It doesn't mean medically transitioning children is ok.

And while they want to talk about puberty blockers being reversible they don't have anything to say about the effects of those puberty blockers, big ones like infertility, not being reversible.

The very medical professionals they tell us to listen to are the ones confirming these things things so they're telling us to listen to people they obviously haven't taken the time to listen to thoroughly.

People shouldn't be demonized for having a mental illness and feeling like they are in the wrong body, but those feelings shouldn't be affirmed by doctors either, especially when those people are children. Even if the child really does have gender dysphoria you do more harm than good by affirming these ideas and mutilating their bodies, which, as you pointed out, does happen, whether people want to admit it or not.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Parker Molloy at The Present Age:

In recent weeks, Elon Musk's comments about his transgender daughter, Vivian Jenna Wilson, have reignited debates about gender-affirming care for transgender youth. Musk claimed he was "tricked" into supporting his child's transition and that the "woke mind virus" had effectively killed his “son.” However, Wilson's own words and experiences tell a starkly different story — one that underscores the life-changing benefits of gender-affirming care and the importance of listening to transgender individuals themselves.

Musk's high-profile statements come at a time when several U.S. states and entire countries are pushing to criminalize gender-affirming treatments for minors, and some political commentators are suggesting that adopting anti-transgender stances could be electorally advantageous. Yet these positions fly in the face of established medical consensus and the lived experiences of transgender individuals like Wilson. In this article, I’ll examine why Elon Musk is wrong about his daughter and gender-affirming care, drawing on Wilson's own statements, scientific research, and expert medical opinions. I'll explore how Wilson's story actually provides compelling evidence for the positive outcomes of gender-affirming care, and why political efforts to restrict such care are not only cruel but fundamentally misguided. Ultimately, I'll make the case that medical decisions — whether regarding gender-affirming treatments or other personal health matters, such as abortion — are best left to patients, their doctors, and in the case of minors, their parents, rather than being dictated by government legislation or political expediency.

Vivian Jenna Wilson's Experience: Living Proof of Positive Outcomes

Wilson's story provides a powerful counterpoint to her father's claims. Far from being "killed" by gender-affirming care, Wilson is a 20-year-old college student who has found the strength to speak out against misinformation about her own life. In her first public interview, Wilson directly challenged Musk's narrative. "I think he was under the assumption that I wasn't going to say anything and I would just let this go unchallenged," she stated. "Which I'm not going to do, because if you're going to lie about me, like, blatantly to an audience of millions, I'm not just gonna let that slide."

Wilson's account of her relationship with Musk starkly contrasts with his public statements. She described him as an absent father, stating, "He was there, I want to say, maybe 10% of the time. That's generous." When he was present, Vivian recalls him as "cold," "very quick to anger," and "uncaring and narcissistic." She recounts incidents of Musk berating her for exhibiting feminine traits, including an instance in fourth grade where he "was constantly yelling at me viciously because my voice was too high." Contrary to Musk's claim of being tricked into authorizing her treatment, Wilson asserts that he was fully informed when he consented to her gender-affirming care at age 16. She states, "He was not by any means tricked. He knew the full side effects," explaining that Musk read the medical forms at least twice before signing them.

Her journey also illuminates the typical timeline of gender identity realization and disclosure. She came out twice: first as gay in eighth grade, and then as transgender at 16. This aligns with research showing that many transgender individuals realize their identity years before disclosing it to others, countering notions of sudden or externally influenced gender identity changes. The positive impact of gender-affirming care is evident in Wilson's ability to live authentically. She emphasizes her autonomy and self-determination, stating, "I am an adult. I am 20 years old. I am not a child. My life should be defined by my own choices." This sentiment echoes the goals of gender-affirming care: to allow individuals to live as their true selves and make informed decisions about their bodies and identities.

Wilson's experience also highlights the crucial role of family support. While her relationship with Musk is strained, she speaks positively about her mother's support: "She's very supportive. I love her a lot." This underscores the importance of accepting and affirming parents in the well-being of transgender youth, a factor consistently emphasized in research on outcomes for transgender individuals. Moreover, Wilson's ability to pursue higher education and advocate for herself demonstrates resilience and personal growth. Her willingness to challenge misinformation about her own experiences, even in the face of her father's global platform, shows strength of character and a clear sense of self.

[...]

Science vs. Ideology in Transgender Healthcare Policy

The current political climate surrounding gender-affirming care for transgender youth is fraught with tension, as evidenced by the recent Supreme Court decision to hear a case on state bans of such care. This legal battle represents a broader conflict between scientific consensus and political ideology, with potentially far-reaching consequences for transgender individuals across the United States. As of July 2024, 25 states have enacted laws restricting or banning gender-affirming care for transgender minors. These laws have been passed despite the fact that such treatments have been available in the United States for over a decade and are endorsed by major medical associations. The disconnect between medical expertise and legislative action is stark and concerning.

In this context, it's particularly troubling to see suggestions like that made in the New York Times's The Morning newsletter. Writer David Leonhardt urged presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris to adopt a position on healthcare for trans minors that would restrict the type of access that Vivian Jenna Wilson received.  [...] The Yale white paper discussed earlier directly contradicts Leonhardt's characterization of the European medical consensus. It points out that while some European countries have recently reviewed their policies, there isn't a uniform European medical consensus against gender-affirming care for youth. Many European medical bodies continue to support such care when appropriate. [...]

Embracing Evidence-Based Care and Individual Rights

Throughout this examination of gender-affirming care for transgender youth, several critical themes have emerged. Wilson's personal journey stands as a powerful testament to the positive outcomes of such care. Her ability to live authentically and advocate for herself directly contradicts her father's claims about the harm of these treatments. Importantly, her experience aligns with the broader scientific evidence supporting gender-affirming care. This scientific consensus, as detailed in the Yale white paper and numerous studies, provides a strong foundation for the benefits of gender-affirming care. Improved mental health outcomes, enhanced quality of life, and remarkably low rates of regret are consistently reported. It's no wonder that major medical associations, including the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the Endocrine Society, all endorse gender-affirming care based on this robust evidence.

Yet, we've seen how this evidence can be misrepresented. Claims that gender-affirming care is harmful or lacks scientific backing often distort the true scientific consensus. The critique of the Cass Review in the Yale white paper illustrates how selective interpretation of data can lead to misleading conclusions, underscoring the importance of comprehensive and unbiased analysis. The current wave of legislative restrictions on gender-affirming care represents a troubling intrusion of political ideology into medical practice. These laws not only contradict medical expertise but also risk causing significant harm to transgender youth who rely on these treatments for their well-being. Even more concerning are suggestions that political figures should adopt anti-transgender stances for electoral gain, as proposed in the New York Times newsletter. Such proposals prioritize political strategy over the health and rights of a vulnerable population, raising serious ethical concerns.

As we look to the future, it's imperative that we prioritize evidence-based care and individual rights. Medical decisions, whether about gender-affirming care or any other health matter, should remain in the hands of patients, their doctors, and in the case of minors, their parents. Government interference in these personal decisions, especially when it contradicts medical consensus, sets a dangerous precedent that extends beyond transgender healthcare. The upcoming Supreme Court case on state bans of gender-affirming care underscores the national significance of this issue. As this legal battle unfolds, we must continue to amplify the voices and experiences of transgender individuals like Wilson, whose firsthand knowledge of the benefits of this care is invaluable. Musk's statements about his daughter and gender-affirming care not only cause personal hurt but also fly in the face of scientific evidence and the lived experiences of many transgender individuals. The political efforts to criminalize this care are both cruel and misguided, potentially denying life-saving treatments to those who need them most.

Parker Molloy with yet another insightful column on gender-affirming care and Elon Musk’s trans daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson.

[penisbagelbite]

I don't believe in "transmisandry".

Unless, as usual, the use of "transmisandry" here is in reference to antitransmasculinity (no matter what it's called) in general and any discussion of it, because it is a lot easier to demonize and disregard these discussions when referred to that way as it likens any and all discourse of antitransmasculinity to MRAs (even though antitransmasculinity at it's core is misogyny) then, sure. In that context I guess I do.

As "malgendering" is my own abomination, I should probably touch on it again, seeing how it's festered.

Regarding it's coining: the initial post was impulsive, plucked out of my drafts and far from finished, because I'd seen the topic of transmascs only being seen as men or "affirmed" in their masculinity when it can be used as an excuse to abuse them come up frequently within the preceding week. One was an account of a recent assault in a private channel.

There is a lot of pain and confusion around, and I wanted to help and offer a salve, however rudimentary it may be, by giving transmascs more language to better articulate their experiences and another means of understanding what has been/is done to them and why, so that their pain may be alleviated just a little bit. It's a lot easier to combat something and heal from it when you can name and define it.

I thought it'd only help 10 people at most, which was enough to try.

"Malgendering" was also conjured up in my mind in response to transmascs who pointed to being malgendered as evidence of "misandry", and to give language to the phenomenon without giving credence to "misandry", as the type of corrective sexism that malgendering is is ultimately rooted in misogyny and better understood that way. It is one method of many to punish those who've stepped out of femininity and their assigned role of "woman" (and coerce them back into it if possible).

Though the sexism and gender stereotypes malgendering uses can look to be what could be considered "misandry" on it's face, underneath it is not a genuine hatred of men, but a hatred of transmasculinity specifically. Invoking "misandry" is just a means to an end and a lot of what I see evidenced as "misandry", especially when explained in it's relation to "transandrophobia", is really just misogynandry.

That aspect of it was not established well (because, as previously said, it was wholly unfinished when posted) and did not take hold in it's spread but malgendering as a concept seems to have achieved it's main goal which was to help. And that matters more than my feud with the use of "misandry" in these discussions, so in the end I don't care how transmascs use the word and don't think there are any 'wrong' interpretations of it.*

Words have lives of their own, they take on different meanings and contexts depending on the speaker. Language is subjective, and trying to control it is a futile endeavor that has only ever driven people miserable and insane. I threw "malgendering" out into the wind knowing it'd be carried off and become something else to someone somewhere else. As long as it's still understood what it means when I use it as I originally conceived it, again, I do not care how transmascs use it elsewhere.

*Non-transmascs butting in to police language and decide for transmascs what actually is and is not malgendering, however, are annoying as fuck and wrong on principle. Non-transmascs in general need to stop dictating the narratives around transmasculinity if transmasculine advocacy that actually serves us is to get anywhere - but they won't because too much is at stake for them to not have control over transmasculinity, so they must be resisted and refused any ground whatsoever.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hi! What is the average recovery timeline for top surgery? One of my best friends is getting married a couple weeks after my surgery date (17 days to be exact) and I'm invited to the wedding! He's also had top surgery and said from his experience I should be okay after 2 weeks. I'll have to fly, but my partner will be with me just in case I can't lift my bags or anything. But any advice? I'll be flying out there pretty much 15 days after my surgery date. Thanks!!!

Lee says:

I had my top surgery when I was 18 and bounced back pretty quickly, but my younger age, lack of physical disabilities or chronic illnesses, and relatively good health (semi-athletic, non-smoker) made it easier for me to recover than many.

For context, I had inverted-T incision top surgery (double incision plus two extra incisions) and drains.

I was exploring the city I had my top surgery in within the first 2 weeks post-op and going to libraries, museums, candy factories, etc and taking public transportation for all of it.

You'll need to speak with your surgeon about what they expect your recovery timeline to be like as it can vary depending on your medical conditions, and whether you develop post-op complications (something that can't always be predicted when you're still pre-op).

That being said, if you are in good health and a young adult, it's likely that you would be able to go to a wedding 17 days post-op, especially because it's an event that's important to you (one of your best friends) and you'll have the support you need (a partner who can do all of the heavy luggage lifting). You'll probably be more tired than usual, but it's probably worth it to you to be present for the wedding.

This is what my top surgeon told me about post-top surgery general activity limitations:

5-7 days: may engage in ADL’s (“activities of daily living”; light housework, etc, provided not lifting more than 20-30 pounds)

7-10 days: may consider RTW (“return to work”, again with the above lifting limitations x 4-6 weeks)

2-4 weeks: may engage in light exercise/extra activity (dog-walking, etc)

4-6 weeks: may engage in moderate exercise (bicycle or treadmill, but no full exertion)

6+ weeks: full activity (including heavy lifting/jogging) generally OK

Generally, most people are back to their normal routine by 2-4 weeks. Overall, it generally takes 3 months for significant swelling to go down and 6-12 months for scars to mature/fade.

Whatever you decide to do regarding the wedding is ultimately up to you (after you have your surgeon's clearance to attend); it's valid if you don't feel comfortable going because you're concerned about being away from your surgeon and developing a possible complication.

But people do travel for gender-affirming surgeries, and it's pretty common to only stay in the area for ~2 weeks after top surgery before flying home, which is what I did.

So if you do not develop any major complications early on, it likely would be fine to leave the town that your surgeon is located in and take a flight to the wedding at ~2 weeks post-op.

Good luck with the surgery!

Followers, any additional advice or personal experiences to share with anon?

Followers say:

sequintial said: I was NOT ready to do anything like a wedding 2 weeks after top surgery. I had double incision and I'm fat, so I had a much larger area to heal, and one that interfered more with my mobility

bdw531 said: I basically slept all day for the first 1.5 weeks and couldn't even lift a glass of water to my face. Went back to work after 2 weeks. At 4 weeks, I hiked 75 miles of the PCT and at 6 weeks I was bouldering again. As with any surgery, everyone heals differently. I probably would have been up for attending a laid-back wedding ~17 days so long as I could sit and didn't dance.

happysadyoyo said: I was 29 when I had top surgery, and it took me about two weeks to stop sleeping so much. I was able to move around and do things, but especially when I had the drains in I pretty much did nothing but sleep and watch TV. The drains I feel are the most limiting factor. If you still have them, they're gonna be annoying, but even with them, so long as you're able to pace yourself (and at a wedding it should be fine) and there's no major complications, it should be fine.

[prettyboykatsuki]

i saw your post about baby queer muslims and idk if youve ever read hijab butch blues but as a nonbinary lesbian who grew up in a really religious environment (catholic), even though im not muslim, i found it really like. affirming and comforting. lamya talking about her experiences discovering her own gender & sexuality via connecting to figures in the quran and ultimately finding acceptance & community with other queer muslims & queer people in general after a lifetime of confusion and self doubt was like…. idk. its a really beautiful memoir. reading it felt like talking to a friend or being in a book club kinda, since so much of her own journey w gender and sexuality involves thinking critically about islam and how the quran applies to her own life, and finding pieces of herself in a lot of the stories idk but yeah its one of the books that touched me the most this year

you know its been on my to-read list for a long time and this does definitely feel like a sign to read it 😭 based on the synopsis it sounds like we have a lot in common, so im almost positive it is going to make me cry like a baby lmao. im glad u could also find some catharsis in it. it is tough being religious and queer but as always we have each other 🫂🫂

[transsexualfiend]

If you are going to identify yourself as a trans activist, or engage in trans politics and discourse-- whether you ARE trans or if you consider yourself a trans ally, the LEAST you could do is have a basic understanding of trans healthcare. This includes: - Understanding how HRT works. - Understanding the basic effects of HRT. - Understanding what gender affirming surgeries are/can be. - Understanding what gender affirming care is. Period. - Understanding what the informed consent model is. - Understanding the misconceptions about the "risks" of gender affirming care. - Understanding that gender affirming care has many barriers that should be lifted. - Understanding that gender affirming care should be ultimately free and accessible to anyone that desires it. - Understanding how current legislature restricts access to trans healthcare, and how that ultimately affects ALL trans people, even the ones who are not getting surgeries or HRT. - Understanding the language (both direct and indirect) that anti-trans lobbyists use to sway the general public into the idea that trans=bad. - Understanding who the current most influential anti-trans lobbyists are, and their tactics for convincing others to be anti-trans. - AND SO MUCH MORE!!! But I won't overload this post.

These should be high priority in your knowledge bank when it comes to speaking on behalf of trans issues. Yes, pronouns and labels are cool and all but when it comes to trans rights and liberation, are you able to hold an argument against an anti-trans person? Are you able to say more than just "trans people are just like us and just want to be accepted!" ? Are you able to say more than just slogans you saw on an instagram infographic? Can you identify false information about trans people and trans healthcare? AND provide a rebuttal?

It is surprising how many trans people refuse to do their own research about these things too. It's a little sad to me. Like that's great that you want to engage in trans activism, but ultimately how much "activism" are you actually doing if your knowledge of trans people and trans issues is limited only to your own personal trans experience?