#this could be absolute ass and i'll realise it in the morning

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 41!

another excellent reading week <3 this list is spoiler free for season 8: for season 8 fic recs, click here!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading!

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

for thy true-love take | lecornergirl/@clusterbuck| 1.9k | T

Chimney Han and the ethics of slipping your coworkers love potions. chimneyhen bestieism!! this felt so them <3

from the ground up | blueberrytwoberry/@blueberrytwoberry| 17.5k | M

And so, really, the last thing he needed when he got home at the end of a long shift was to find a massive, weird-ass dog curled up on his front porch. And yet, there it was. just this morning i realised what a goldmine animal transformation aus can be and wow this was exactly what i was looking for!! the maddie scene had me giggling, such a lovely fic!!

i can't sleep without you | Buddiesmutslut/@buddiesmutslut | 1.9k | G

He can exhaust himself with a workout or a good shift or a night out, but by the time he climbs into his bed, he lays awake for hours, replaying his mistakes over and over again. He’s barely sleeping, beyond exhausted and he just wants to go home. so so soft and so lovely <3 exactly the comfort i needed earlier this week

i didn't know (that it could be good) | rainbow_nerds/@rainbow-nerdss | 27k | E

They're friends, that's all there is to it. Until Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. okay yes yes the smut is good the clothes sharing is nice the sexual tension is so there but can we talk about the butterflies?? just read this and you'll know what i mean it will be so worth it i promise. a new favourite for sure <3

i'll be the north star that takes you home | marviless/@marviless | 7.9k | G

in which eddie is moving back to el paso for the summer, and buck is deeply in love. listen the idea of eddie moving to el paso hurts me and also hurts buck BUT when it leads to fics like this i suddenly don't mind anymore <3 the airport scene!!

i'll keep your brittle heart warm | reeseofmind | 12.8k | E

5 times buck and eddie wear the other's clothes + 1 time they don't wear much of anything. i've been deep in the clothes sharing tag and this was one of my favourite finds <3

in synchronicity with the score | therainbowsedge/@therainbowsedge | 30.2k | E

“How long have you gone without scening?” And isn’t that a loaded question that Buck doesn’t even know how to start responding to. i have such a weak spot for fics like this. this has some gorgeous descriptive passages and looks into buck's mindset in this au!

love like woven thread | renecdote/@renecdote | 1.9k | G

the one where Eddie is a clothes thief and Buck kind of loves that about him. the ultimate hurt/comfort fluff clothes stealing fic <3 so lovely!! i reread this while working on this rec list actually hehe

steal my abuela (you already have my heart) | anarchyat4am | 4.6k | T

“Hey,” Eddie says softly, “You really showed up for me yesterday. Thank you.” “Course,” Buck says, “We had fun.” “Fun? You sat in the ER with my abuela for three hours.”. buck and abuela!! i love them together so much!! family feels indeed <3

vary my days | Chash | 12.6k | T

After Christopher leaves, Frank tells Eddie to get a hobby. Eddie picks Legos, Buck picks crochet, and they both wait for Chris to talk to them again. eddie and the legos my absolute beloved <3 such a fantastic working of these characters!!

you've haunted me so stunningly | playinginthunderstorms/@playinginthunderstorms | 9.6k | T

Five times Buck and Eddie hold hands, one time they do by proxy, and one time Eddie freaks out about it. holding hands!! so so hurt/comfort in the best way possible. i was saving this one for a bus ride home after a long day and it hit the spot exactly <3

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch23

Description: Smut smut smut smut. Gaz is the goodest of good boys and gets his reward.. finally! In all seriousness though - this is my first time writing smut. Once I’ve finished this series I’ll go back and edit it sooo please ignore any lil mistakes you see! I’m not sure what I think if this but oh well! 🤷🏼‍♀️

*John's POV*

I watch over my pack for a a couple of hours. This is how it should be.. Perfect.

A pack of four Alphas is unusual, typically, either Betas or Omegas are needed to maintain the peace. My pack had always been loyal to one another but tensions run high at times. I have had to break up a few scraps. Hell - been in a couple with Simon, myself.

I slowly remove myself from the bed that we had all crammed ourselves on. Laswell is waiting on an update, and had news for me. I close the door gently on my way out.

*Johnny's POV*

Mmmm smells nice. Soft, smooth skin.. Tastes like heaven too, could die happy here, perfect..

*Laika's POV*

I slowly wake to a strange feeling. I am so warm, and I have hands all over me. But that isn't what stirs me. It's Johnny's tongue on my neck and his slow, gentle rocking, grinding himself against me. He is fast asleep.. He must be dreaming...

I reach over the top of Johnny, who has somehow squeezed himself between Simon and myself. I tap Simon, so gently, on his shoulder. His eyes snap open immediately and he goes into a semi-defensive position before realising where he is.

"What's the matter, little one..?" He asks, with a gravelly morning voice that sends the butterflies in my stomach absolutely crazy.

"It's Johnny.." I glance down to the sleeping Alpha. Simon chuckles. He fucking laughs at me..

"I thought you'd been warned that Johnny's a randy bastard, love.. he'd hump a pillow if it smelt nice.." I blush and whimper as Johnny actually gained some friction through my pyjama shorts.

"Do you want him to stop..?" Simon asks with a gruff voice. I look up at him with big eyes.

"I - I.." - "Tell me sweetheart, I can make him stop, just say the word.."

He's teasing me.. Toying with me.. He knows that I like it..

I suddenly feel all hot and bothered. I can feel the cramps threatening to start up again..

"Alpha, please.." - "Please, what, love?"

"Say it again, Lass" Johnny growls into my neck. Both of our eyes snap down to see if Johnny had woken up.

"Looks like he can hear ya, Love.. you can tell him to stop yourself.." he teases.

Fine, prick. I'll give you a show. Teach you not to tease me like this when I need something.. s'unfair...

"Mmmm, Johnny.. feel s'good Alpha" I whisper into Johnny's ear, making full eye contact with Simon as I say it. He narrows his eyes at me, clearly surprised by my boldness.

Johnny's eyes snap open and he frantically grabs around me, tighter, then pulls me closer to his crotch. The movement wakes Kyle, who immediately questions the scene in front of him.

"Soap! John told us to behave!!" He smacks Johnny on the ass a couple of times, trying to call him off the hunt.

"Lass says she wants it, isn't that right, Lass..?" Johnny groans desperately into my neck as he rolls over so he is now leaning on top of me. I whimper, the new position helping his thrusts hit the sweet spot between my legs.

I turn my head and lock eyes with Kyle. He looks entranced. His hand rests lazily over his crotch and his mouth is parted, deliciously.

Christ, what's happening to me..?

"Kyle..?" I whimper.

His eyes travel slowly up my figure, eventually meeting my gaze. "Love..?" he purrs.

"Want this.. feel funny.. hot and itchy.. s'helping the cramps.."

"Cramps.. you didn't mention cramps, love.."

"S'cause Simon cuddled me when they got bad over night.. Helps.."

"What do you need, tell me and I'll help.." -

"Want - Want.."

"Want what, sweet girl?"

"B-but you're not my Alphas.." I whimper, suddenly aware that I couldn't possibly ask this of them..

I hear Johnny growl from above me, "I'll be your fuckin' Alpha, lass. Say the fuckin' word. You'd be claimed and plugged up in minutes.. I promise ya', Bonnie"

The door clicks open and I gasp, but it doesn't seem to phase Johnny who continues to hump me like an untrained street dog.

"GET OFF 'ER, MACTAVISH" - John's voice bellows from the doorway. Johnny whines, he fucking whines.

"Please, Alpha.. m'so close" he pleads, rolling off of me with his hips still rutting into thin air.

As soon as the weight from above has gone, the cramp that had been held off, hits me full force. I roll towards Kyle and pull him as close to me as possible, trying to find some relief.

Kyle's hands find my lower back, I can feel that he desperately wants to move them to cup my ass but John's growl cuts in again.

"LAIKA!" I snap away from Kyle and sit up, shuffling backwards, whimpering.

"S-sorry, Alph- John - I don't know what's happening.. I - I can't control.. urghhh" I wince as a particularly strong pain spreads through my gut.

"Alpha.. please.. help me.." I whimper, curling into a tight ball, trembling.

*John's POV*

Good god. She's in heat. She is in fucking heat. And Johnny has been humpin' her like a fuckin' dog for fuck knows how long.

"What do you want.. we didn't have chance to discu.." - "YOU.. I WANT ALL OF YOU" she cries, interrupting me.

"Darling" I crack my neck, feeling my control slipping. "If you accept this, I might not be able to stop.. do you know what I mean...?"

"Please Alpha.." Fuck, I'll fuckin' claim her right now. Bite a fuckin' pretty little mark right into her neck for everyone to see. The boys can mark her up afterwords too, our Pack Omega.. but it's the heat talkin'. She doesn't know what she's sayin'

"Captain.. If you don't want me.. I'll go.." she sniffles. That's what does it. The straw that breaks the camels back...

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

Self-doubt suddenly clouds my mind. I am literally in heat and begging and none of them want me. I'd been rejected..

"Captain.. If you don't want me.. I'll go.." I offer, knowing that I'd already done enough damage.

I curl tighter in on myself and start crying as more cramps roll through my body.

Within seconds I feel strong arms around me, scooping me from the bed, pulling my legs either side of a broad torso, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"Don't you ever fuckin' say, or think, that again, Love.. Boys, follow me" John marches me out of my room.

I whimper, each stride he takes, his thigh hits me just perfectly.

"Makin' a fuckin' wet patch on my trousers.." John grumbles into my ear.

"S-sorry Alpha" I whimper. He comes to an abrupt halt. He holds me against the wall and roughly slots his thigh between my legs, pulling me back and forward, rubbing my core on his soaked trouser leg. I whine and moan.

"Don't ever fuckin' apologise for pleasin' your Alpha.." He leans forward then, and somehow, with such softness, given our current heated situation, takes my chin in his calloused, rough hands and makes me look at him.

"Understood..?" - "mmmhmmm" I whimper, nodding.

"Good girl.." he tilts my chin upwards and leans in. Our noses are touching, but he pauses. We are breathing the same air for a few seconds. I'm desperate.. I'm fucking desp- KISS HIM.

I lurch forward, clashing our teeth and noses together. But my lips are on his, and he is devouring me. He pulls away, a string of spit connecting our lips, "Clever girl. I needed you to take the first step.. prove that you want this as much as me.." he growls, lifting me and finishing the journey to their room.

I feel hands on my lower back, from behind, and turn to see Kyle, looking as if he is worshiping the scene in front of him.

"Fancy sharing her, Alpha..? I'll be nice.. so nice to her.. I swear.." - "Go on then, Kyle.. kiss her.."

They talk as if I'm not there.. why do I find that so fucking hot..?

Kyle's kiss is soft, and gentle.. it's perfect. I find myself pulling away from John's hold and jumping into Kyle's arms instead.

"Fuck, love - been waitin' - for this since - since you arrived - always trusted me - didn't you - sweet sweet girl.." he moans into my ear between kisses.

"Gonna take care of you, we all are.. treat you so good - make you ours.." His words make me melt.

I feel my back meet the mattress softly, Kyle's hands roaming to my ass, and squeezing softly. "So perfect, so fuckin' perfect.."

I'm overwhelmed.. I glance around and see John watching with his hand on his cock. My eyes travel up and down his solid body. He was fucking huge, everywhere. A true Alpha in every sense of the word.

I then see Johnny and Simon making out against the wall. My eyes roll back at the scene in front of me. Simon's hand fisted in Johnny's mohawk, as he attacks his neck. Johnny suddenly all submissive - nothing like I'd ever seen the confident, randy Alpha like before.

"Hey, love.. eyes on me.." Kyle moves my gaze back to his gorgeous face.

"Can I take this off..?" He asks, lifting the waistband of my shorts slightly.

"Please, Alpha.." I moan..

"Good girl, such a good girl" Kyle coos- "Good boy, Kyle - bein' such a good boy" John grumbles from beside us.

Kyle's cock jumps in his boxers at the sound of his Alpha's praise. I feel it against my leg.

"Gonna touch you, gorgeous.. is that ok..?" - "Kyle.. need it.. please.." - "Fuck princess, you're gonna be the death of me.."

His hands run up my legs, from my calves all the way to my hip bones, where he gently strokes. "Is this ok..?"

"Yes.. please.. need more.." I whine desperately.

"Need to get you ready first.. trust me.." - "M'ready.. please" Kyle is about to reply when John cuts in.

"Trust me, love.. you're not ready for us yet.. I'll tell you when you're ready.." I whimper, frustrated.

Kyle runs a gentle hand through my folds, softly circling my clit. I moan and feel slick rushing downwards.

"More, Alpha.. need more.." I beg.

"Soon, sweet girl. I promise.. It'll hurt if we don't get you ready.."

I reach down and palm Kyle through his boxers. His pushes into my hand, clearly desperate for friction as much as I am.

I push at his chest and roll him onto his back. His eyes flash to John's as if to ask 'what do I do..?'

I giggle at his reaction, John just shrugs.. leaving me to my own devices. I pull his boxers down and stare at his beautiful knot. He was the prettiest, by far.. He was big, smaller than John's.. but still big. Much bigger than average. There's a perfect vein running along the underside, ugh, so pretty. I practically drool at the sight.

I swing a leg over his hips, so that I'm straddling him.

"No - no love.. you're not-"

I sink down on him and he suddenly ruts up into me, unleashing the loudest moan I've heard from him yet.

"Fuck, love.. so impatient.. so perfect and tight.. slowly though.. don't want to hurt ya' -" he gently rubs my clit as I just sit on him, cockwarming him without moving.

"Mmm Kyle... so nice" I whisper, nipping and biting gently at his neck.

*Kyle's POV*

Fuck she is driving me mad. I don't know how long I can keep this up. And then she starts biting at my neck..

Within milliseconds, I've got her flipped onto her back, and I'm deep inside her, starting to get some much needed movement.

"This ok, love..? tell me if I hurt you.." - "Won't hurt me - trust you, Ky ..."

She trusts me.. I can die a happy Alpha.

I can feel my knot swelling, just from her sweet words.

"Alpha.. I'm close.. what do I do..?" I grit out through my clenched teeth, asking John for instruction.

"Thought I should be the first one to knot her, seeing as I'm pack Alpha - but you've been such a good boy.. I'll let you decide.."

FUCK..

"Love, tell me what you want.. quickly.. won't last much longer inside ya'.."

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

"Want your knot, Kyle.. Please, Alpha.." I whimper.. I make eye contact with John then, and he nods, as if to allow Kyle to knot me.

"Fuck, it might hurt, Love.. ever had a knot before..?" - "No, Alpha.. just you.." I whisper, nervously.

"Hey, hey, sweet girl. I can stop if you're not sure..?" - "NO, don't stop" I cry.

"Okay - okay" he grunts, swelling inside of me. I feel spurts of hot spend hit my inner walls before I feel his knot plugging me up, his hips slow and he eventually halts completely with his hips held flush against mine.

"We'll be stuck like this for a few minutes, Love.. is it sore..?" he asks, kissing my shoulder, gently.

"No.. not sore.. feels nice.." I roll my hips, feeling his knot pull where we are held together and he whines into my shoulder.

"Love, s'too sensitive.. stay still" he laughs.

"We've not knotted anythin' for years.. not since we became a pack.." John explains, sitting quietly beside us on the bed, stroking my hair.

"Alpha's can't knot each other properly.. not the right anatomy.. bet it feels nice, eh Kyle..?" he asks, patting Kyle's thigh.

"Feels perfect, sir.. like Heaven.. so lucky.."

My heart jumps at the praise.

The bed dips as a sweaty Johnny and Simon slip in from the other side. Johnny immediately runs his hand down my stomach and between my legs, where Kyle and I are still knotted, I yelp from the sensitivity.

He scoops as much slick up as he can and sucks it from his fingers.

"Mmmm, fuckin' beautiful, Lass"

[mysteryanimator]

Here ye here ye, another breaking down processes post from yours truly!

For this animation, my plan was to make something I'm proud of AND also something to force me to take my time since with all previous animation works they were all rushed. I normally tend to speed through work as someone whose illustrations are painterly and I like to keep them rough. Also lets be totally honest my other plan for this animation was to animate Mizrox being so sickeningly sweet.

Fun fact, this animation was going to be longer. I had tried to plan out Olrox climbing on top of Mizrak during the kiss to lay on his chest. There was an attempt trying to rough that out and several ref videos It was scrapped because for the life of me I could not figure it out. Also hypothetically if I was going to keep it, I would cut to another angle (perhaps Mizrak's face close up) and then cut to another angle that would make it easier to see that climbing over the top. OR, consider Olrox already sleeping on his chest (im just rambling now but this is basically 'if you were able to do this again' section).

I wish I actually went through a more proper tie-down process because the jump from going from my rough straight to clean was rough (badum tsk) for the first few seconds. Defintely learnt my lesson ALSO Olrox is surprisingly really fun to draw from behind.

I challenged myself to see if I could get the idea of "bigger movements, less in-betweens, smaller/slower movements, more in-betweens." Though the effect of Olrox rubbing his face against his arm may be a little too jarring and I steered quite a bit away from my rough and self-reference video in hopes of making the face rubbing more apparent because I thought the character acting was too subtle and wanted a contrast to the other half of the scene. I reconfigured my CSP animation workspace for this too so it definitely made the process less tedious when cleaning up the animation.

(Which by the way I do record a lot of self-references depending on the section! For things I can't do/uncomfortable doing, I'll end up looking up videos. It's the easiest for me to catch subtle things in body language and also get a feels for the motion.)

Also I'm really satisfied with Olrox's anticipation before his smooch and the shoulder roll at the end even though technically the arc doesn't complete itself. MIZRAK THOUGH, when cleaning up I realised my rough wouldn't make sense because he's already looking at him so there's no need for a turn, and then the lack of a shoulder movement felt jarring, so all of that was done without any thought, wish I did think about it more though.

Now compositing was a monster in its own right and basically me jumping back and forth between turning on and off different layers, but here are all the new things I did; I duplicated and blurred the lines of the lineart, beveled the shadows so it was lighter on the inside, and added a rim of blur so the focus drew towards the couple. Also will absolutely admit that my fanboy ass went "... be crazy and try to mimic the show." The final did not go that route because I thought it was more important to emphasize the mood/atmosphere (Also Olrox is intentionally stylized differently because i wanted him to be softer here and I had to give him eye highlights for plot HELP). THOUGH to say I did not try to mimic the style, the #2 lighting test was my 'attempt' LOL 😭 I can never consume media normally.

Here are the lighting tests I went through. I definitely knew I wanted to go with a morning vibe, though I tested out a night ver for fun and did some edge lighting which led to mixing both version #2 and #3 to make #4.

Fun fact, I almost went with #2 due to fear of getting too heavy-handed with compositing and therefore losing the animation (even though I really liked #4 at the time). Thanks to a friend, they also shared the sentiment of liking #4, though pointed out it felt like midday and encouraged me to make the colours warmer and deepen the shadows. It is a really tough balance but I think for a softer scene like this, the more additional layers of comp worked out in the end.

The edge light was a last minute thing because someone told me to add sound and to have light stream in. Also at this point I deadass forgot that you know, Olrox, is a vampire, but hey rule of cute overrules. We can pretend its light not from the sun LOL

Also yay I got to show off my own style a tad, I love paintingggg. It's not as completely fully rendered coz I knew that it would get covered up but I still made sure it was quite clean regardless. I didn't realise how much of it would be covered up even though I did make sure they would fit/make sense for bg LOL

Now we are done!

If you've gotten this far thank you! There's gonna be less frequency of these animations due to the semester starting back up soon and I don't get many opportunities to actually 2D animate (despite it being an animation degree RAH). Also I remembering cringing and laughing a lot when I immediately started putting colour down going "oh i can see the end of the horizon, i have too much power as an artist, people will see this i cant let them see me be crazy"

[Here's some memes I drew over while my friend was reviewing my work]

[only-luce-the-goose]

Relax

A/N: This is my first SPN fic, I hope it's good.

Sam Winchester x Female!Reader

Synopsis: Your tired boyfriend is trying to dig up all the lore he can on a new creature. He's been at it for hours and just won't take a break, it's a good thing you're pretty convincing.

Warnings: titty sucking, mommy kink (if you squint)

"Cmonnnnn Sammy, it's 1am, you can't sit there all night. You gotta come to bed at some point." You said as you walked over to him, coming behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. He leaned his head into yours and sighed. "I have to figure this out, Y/N. Something doesn't add up and it's driving me crazy." You have his shoulders a squeeze as you replied "Why don't you come try again in the morning, give yourself a break and come back with fresh eyes. I'll even help you!" Sam chuckled, everyone knew you hated researching, reading was never on your to do list.

"Thank you for the offer gorgeous, but I'll sleep easier if I can just figure this out" the yawn that followed that sentence was far from convincing. "Guess I have to take a different approach." You swung your leg around, perching yourself on his lap "I'm gonna try something you've been wanting to try" Sam looked up at you as he said "What do you mean beautiful?" Your smirked and sent him a wink "You'll see, baby"

*Flashback*

You’re chilling on the bed you share with Sam when he comes sauntering in, “I have a question” he states as he stops at the end of the bed. “Well, hello to you too handsome” you chuckle “what’s up?” He comes over and sits next to you as he says “you know how I get in those research funks, how I just can’t figure it out and no matter how hard you try, you can’t make me leave?” You give him a look when you say “of course I do, I hate it when you get all funked”

Sam chuckles when you say funked. Even after being with the boys for years, hearing Sam laugh still gives you butterflies. “I think I know a way to make me forget about my funk for a little bit” he says. You raise your eyebrow “if you say sex, I’m gonna slap you!” Now Sam full blown laughs, “that’s not what I was going to say” then he starts stuttering “well-I-ya know-it-umm-when…”

After amusing yourself a little more, you cut him off. “Spit it out, Winchester!” Sam signed, a defeated look crossed his face when he abruptly says “I wanna suck your tits!” As soon as he realised the word that came out of his mouth, he turned beet red. He all but ran out of the room while you sat there shocked.

You quickly jumped up, running after him. “Sam, Sam wait! Please Sam, let’s just talk!” You caught him running I got the control room, catching the door before he could lock it. “I’m sorry Y/N! I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I know it’s weird and I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.” Sam rambled. You giggled a little, finding his word vomiting amusing. “What?” He leaned his head to the side. “Well, Sammy, what if I told you that I would be down to try that,” you started. “One condition though” you said as he nodded. I get to start it randomly, when I feel like that would be a really good time” you watched his face to gauge his reaction. “Ok” he replied with a smile.

*End Flashback*

“I remember” Sam said with a small smile. “Well” you said as you lifted up the hoodie, revealing to him that you had no bra “have at it.” Sam broke into a grin, placing his hands on your ass to bring you closer, kissing you as a silent thanks. He attached his lips to your right nipple and began sucking. He shoulder relaxed, arms shaking around your waist while yours played with his hair.

There was absolutely nothing sexual about what was happening at all, just a pure distraction. After a few minutes, Sam licked over your right nipple a few more times before switching to your left one, sucking on it as hard as the first. Dam signed contently as he eventually worked his way to the valley of your breasts, kissing and sucking the skin there.

You pulled his head back for a minute, sleep evident in his eyes. “Ready for bed Sammy?” He looked up with tired eyes, “yeah” he said he picked you up. Slowly, he made his way through the hall with you still wrapped around him. Upon finding the bed, he gently layer you both down as you drifted off to sleep, Sam’s head against your chest.

A/N: Hope you like it! Requests are open!

[auspicioustidings]

Firewatch Part 5

Summary: You are just an emotional mess, but you at least have the beginnings of a plan to escape.

No smut but lots of angst. I'll level with you, reader is just a wreck in this part with the view that she will get her shit together once she's settled a little.

Words: 1.8k

John left you alone in that damn office for an hour to “calm down”. Had brushed a large hand down your side and squeezed firmly at your waist before he left and you had been indignant at the way that had made you feel. And then you just had to pace, angry and imagining other ways that could have went. You had nowhere to put all of these feelings but to burn through daydreams in your head.

You imagined a version of you that could have beaten him in a fight and ran. You imagined that you tried to swing at him only for his hand to catch your fist, for him to force you over the desk and smack your ass raw in punishment. He seemed like a controlled man, probably wouldn’t even bully himself inside of you. No, he would leave you there sore and wet and wanting. It made you angrier that your daydreams kept drifting into eroticism rather than staying put at violence.

Banging at the door and screaming bloody murder had at least burned off some of your anger right up until Johnny started to yell right back at you.

“Let me the fuck out of here!”

“Ye let Simon go tae spend two weeks alone on that tower! How awful tae have to sit in a warm office for an hour knowing that if ye could just calm the fuck doon and play nice ye’d get out! Something tells me ye’ll survive such an indignity!”

“Oh get absolutely fucked! Don’t act like this is somehow my fault for being angry! And it’s Price who’s making him, not me!”

“Aye Price is making him for you! Because ye had tae go be a bitch about the whole thing!”

You heard a scuffle then. Sounded like Gaz had gotten into a fist fight with him and you were overwhelmed with the urge to cry. While you had always been a little hot-headed, you hated being properly angry. It was a feeling that always burned through you quickly and left you raw and hating yourself.

You should have relished them turning on each other, but it made you feel like you had swallowed lead. Your face felt hot and your throat felt tight and you bit back a sob. Johnny hated you, he had called you a bitch. He’d hate you even more now that Gaz had hit him over it. It should not make your heart throb so horribly. What if you had just snuggled right back into him this morning? He was sweet and handsome and funny and he had adored you and you could have lay there in that warmth until Gaz had brought you both breakfast and then climbed under the covers with you. God you hadn’t realised how sick you were of being alone. You wanted Dosia.

“That’s enough!”

You flinched at Price’s sharp shout, the silence after tense. You wished they would yell again so your attempts to not cry so loudly were not as obvious. But in trying so hard to keep it in the sob that did escape was loud and shuddering and horribly embarrassing. God you were pathetic, you hated this. You hated being angry and you hated yelling at people and having them yell at you and you wanted to crawl under a duvet and sleep for fifteen hours. It was a horrid thing to hate your own anger, to find it an ugly thing but have it be one that visited quickly and often. Usually it was only a short outburst, not this prolonged simmer that ended in you screaming at someone through a locked door. That ended in you sending a man into 2 weeks of misery.

You wished you could hold onto the anger, it would be better than the shame. Better than the hatred you suddenly felt for yourself. The door clicked open and even still there was silence. Whatever fight had happened, it had stopped now. 

“Oh luv, c’mere.”

You shouldn’t have done it, but Kyle’s open arms were so inviting as you buried your head into his chest and let him hold you and massage soothingly into the back of your neck.

“Soap just has a short fuse, he’ll calm down. He owes his life to Simon, so he can be a right git where he’s involved,” he explained softly.

“He hates me.”

It was ridiculous that those should be the words you managed to sniffle out against his warm chest. Not “you kidnapped me”, not “let me go”. No, “he hates me.” Because if you were honest with yourself, you didn’t want him to hate you. You wanted him to like you despite that being what landed you here in the first place. You wanted him to like you but you wanted it to be the way normal people liked one another. You wanted to be in your own cottage, dancing around nervously getting ready for a cute date with him. Not like this.

“No luv, how could he ever hate you hm? How could he hate my pretty girl? Our beautiful, brave girl.”

He sounded heart-wrenchingly sincere and you wanted so much to give in to the comfort that gave you. He was so gentle yet firm in his embrace, holding you at just the level of tightness that felt right and pressing his cheek into your hair. How could this man be the same one that had taken you and wouldn’t let you leave?

“S-Simon hates me too.”

You understood why, how pathetic a thing you were.

“That’s enough of that little bird, nobody hates you.”

Oh, oh that was Price. You couldn’t see him with your head buried in Gaz’s chest, but you felt the heat of him at your back. Not 30 minutes ago he had told you he’d make you forget there was ever a time you didn’t want to be here and already your body wanted it to be true. The heat of his hand pressing to your waist again was a terrible kind of delicious, the kind you could gorge yourself on. 

The worst part was he could tell. You knew he could tell because of the way his breath hitched just a little at how you relaxed into the touch. How that in turn made Gaz’s head move so he could trail his lips from behind your ear down your neck. Your shortness of breath wasn’t coming from crying anymore. You should stop them. You needed to stop them. 

“Going to let me prove it to you? Show you how far any of us feel from hate?” Price whispered huskily into your ear, his body pressing against yours so you could feel that his cock was hardening against you. 

He slid a hand to your neck, squeezing slightly before using his thumb to tilt your chin up and away from Kyle’s chest. You went without a fight, letting him tilt your face up so he could kiss you. There was no soft peck and build up, Price was immediate and confident in sliding his tongue past your teeth and asserting an easy dominance over yours. The craning of your neck towards him gave Kyle all the access he needed to give soft attention to the aching mark there, leaving butterfly kisses and kitten licks all over the sore skin.

You got miserably wet very fast. And despite that you were going to stop them, you really were. You had one hand on Gaz’s shoulder for support, the other craned back onto Price’s hair and you were going to push and pull them away. You swore you would have. It wasn’t like you’d have just given in so easily to your bloody kidnappers. Even if today had been terrible and stressful and you were so completely strung out that anything that would help you relax would have been a Godsend. You would have stopped them.

“Ye’ll naw mind if I interrupt. Just taking out some extra water tae the tower since Simon will be there in the blazing heat for two weeks.”

The cold venom in Johnny’s tone made you scramble to get away from Kyle and Price, gaping like a fish as you looked at his furious expression and tried to come up with some justification. It was impossible to think of one. You had rinsed through fear and anger and grief and landed on lust? You had spent the last year struggling to settle into the town, always the strange outsider girl covered in paint and scratches, and you were desperately lonely? You craved the touch of another human against your skin, it made you feel less like the world was closing in? When you had woken up after the fire and there was a caring, affectionate body there you had been happy and you wished so much that this could have went a different way, that they had taken you back here purely to recover? That maybe you would have decided to stay on your own, or maybe you could rebuild your cottage with their help and visit each other often and warmly?

None of that justified what had just happened. Because things weren’t different, things were as they were. You had been kidnapped. They had faked your death. You had let Simon be punished for biting you and screamed at Johnny and then let yourself melt into Price and Gaz so easily in the same hour. Fuck, you were a mess. 

Gaz and Price seemed at least a little repentant as well, backing off with Price sighing and saying he would come with. There was both a warning in his tone and an apology. He didn’t look at you as they left, both out of the cabin without another word. 

“Shit.”

Gaz’s curse sounded stressed, but at least he looked at you. He looked at you like you were a team, in this mess together. You both stood staring at one another, unsure of what to say. A loud meow caused Gaz to jump and you laughed at that, the sound punching nervously out of your lungs. 

“Better feed my girls huh? C’mon luv, we’ll cook enough for when Soap and the Captain are back, they’ll be less pissed after they’ve eaten.”

You couldn’t help but wonder if you wanted them to be less pissed. As Gaz fed your cat you thought that maybe the emotional wreck you had been today would work to your advantage. Kyle was a good man, you were so sure of it. Something settled in your mind as you made dinner with him. If you could push Price and Johnny to really get mad at you, then Kyle would take you away from here. 

It may not have been a good one, but for day one of captivity, any plan would do.

[beanibon]

Big fan of the eriks/bakery reader and wondered if you could write like a part 2 of it where eriks and reader actually have sex it was so good ty!! absolutely great work

Absolutely! Again, I love eriks x reader short fics and will 100% indulge in them

TW: softdom!eriks, creampie, alien genitalia, sex with food, cockwarming, a sprinkle of angst, probably my most vanilla smutfic

~ Prequel ~ Part 1 ~

Eriks x Baker!Reader Part 2

Eriks watched you from his seat, finding it hard to divide his attention between Lina and eye fucking you. After he had you quivering around his face, struggling to talk calmly to your remaining customers, he couldn't stop craving more.

You plagued his thoughts, every night he'd dream of you wrapped around his cock, screaming his name. It drove him wild, like an animal in heat.

"Mr Eriks, you haven't ordered your usual." Eriks blinked, realisation that he was face to face with your breasts. He jumped back, sitting upright as he hid his blushing face.

"I'm sorry, just thought you had it downpacted by now." He covered up the throb in his pants by laughing obnoxiously, only to quieten at your stern look.

"Mr Eriks, you have ten different usuals at best, I can't guess which one you crave by the way you stare at me." Lina snorted, concealing her laughter as Eriks's face turned bright red.

Lowering his head in embarrassment, he mumbled out his order. You nodded, mockingly patting his head as you walked away. Just that small action had him wanting to throw your body over the counter, fucking you covered in sweets and whipped cream. Instead his head hit the small bakery table, inwardly groaning at his inner turmoil. He couldn't stand another second without you, he wanted to rub himself against you, tickling your beautifully soft, plush skin with his peach fuzz, the smell of your arousal like an intoxicating drug as he ploughed into your sex.

Eriks wasn't listening to Lina anymore, distracted by the way you laughed along with a familiar older couple, he remembered you mentioning they were your favourite regulars. Though try as he might, Eriks couldn't stop staring at your ass, more filth filled thoughts swarming his mind.

Eventually it became unbearable, he couldn't take how you actively ignored him yet swayed your hips just that tiny bit more, or bent down to pick up some 'clumsily' knocked over paper cups. Every action was filled with purpose, knowing that Eriks gaze burned into you, knowing that he was struggling to stay composed. So when he abruptly rose from his seat, a blushing, flustered mess, you smiled. . . Innocently.

And that's what made him snap.

Apologising profusely to the couple you were talking to, that he so rudely interrupted, Eriks rested his prickly chin on your shoulder. That pleading, longing sideways glance he gave you had you giggling, patting his hair.

"I'll close up early, wanna wait upstairs for me?" He nodded, pretending not to notice the way Lina's glare drilled holes along his spine.

You gave Eriks a quick kiss to cheek, returning to your conversation, now bubbling with praised coos at your display of affection. While slinking off behind the counter, Lina stormed towards him, if looks could kill he'd be burning in hell.

"When were you gonna tell me you and Y/N were a thing?" She demanded, hands slamming down on the counter.

"We're not really a thing Lina, I just help them on some occasions ya know." If only Eriks was a better liar, maybe he could've spared himself from his friend's fury.

"You're so full of shit, Eriks! Not a thing? Then why did they kiss you? Don't lie to me, or I'm taking away donut day!" Eriks couldn't help the whine, pouting as faux tears streamed down his face.

"Perhaps, just maaaaybe we are a thing." His voice was so quiet that Lina had to force him to repeat himself a few more times before she could understand.

"Was it really that hard to tell me? Just be back by morning, now shoo." Eriks couldn't contain his excitement, nodding so rapidly that his head looked as if it would fly off.

Lina just shook her head, yet she couldn't help the smile on her face. It had taken the dork weeks, hell months even, for him to gain enough courage to speak to you. Now he was able to openly display affection towards you, eagerly waving a hello the moment you're in sight.

He was like some lost puppy, sulking until he's presented with a treat. Now he's run off again, chasing that very person who'd treat him like he was their own personal ray of sunshine.

Your moans were as addictive as a sirens song, spilling from your bruised, drool coated lips. How his name rolled off your tongue, eliciting tingling sensations down to the pit of his gut.

Eriks released your swollen tit with a lewd, loud 'pop' of his lips, face messy with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Those beautiful eyes sparkled with clouded lust, staring at you with an adoring gaze.

"Taste...so good," he mumbled, a dopey smile on his face.

"That's because you insisted on covering me in whipped cream, chocolate and cherries." You chuckled, fingers tangled in those luscious blonde locks.

"Taste good without all that." His tongue lazily circled your perked nipple, the taste of chocolate seemed to infuse into your breasts.

Your lips parted, a soft gasp echoed through the quiet room. Finger nails dug into the scarred flesh of Eriks shoulders, back arched against him as he slowly rolled his hips, finally moving the cock buried deep within your warm folds.

Lapping up the last of the dessert that turned your body sticky with sugar, Eriks used his arm to hoist his body up. Starting of gentle and slow, his hips begun to thrust into you, stretching you around his cock. As if on cue your walls convulsed, clenching Eriks as he grunted.

"Mayfly, you gotten loosen up, you got me in a choke hold here." He whined, lips pressing themselves between your slightly bouncing tits.

You whined, the two of you weren't foreign to penetrative sex with each other, but everytime was still a struggle to adjust. Eriks genitals weren't normal and you were quick to discover that Eriks himself wasn't normal either, in more ways than one. So when it came to sex he was patient, allowing you all the time you need to relax against his foreign cock.

Finally releasing your death grip, Eriks sighed in relief, placing a ticklish kiss against your lips. Whispers of praise filled your ears, all of them melting that hard, mean exterior that you'd always put on around the blonde when on the clock. But in private? You'd turn into an absolute angel, one that captivated the heart of certain disguised gunman.

"Eriks," Those soft, bandaged hands brought him back from his trance, thumbs caressing his rough face. "I can't cock warm you all night."

Humming against those beautiful hands, the same hands he'd watch knead dough, or throw handfuls of flour at him. A few kisses placed against their palms, Eriks smiled down at you, eyes shining with something he could only describe as love.

With his arm now wrapped tightly around your hardy yet small frame, Eriks began thrusting once again, only this time more harder. He watched as you tilted your head back, mouth wide as sweet, sugery moans poured out. Those sounds were pure ecstasy, encouraging him to move at a faster pace.

Soft praises were murmured into your ear, with kisses pressed against your neck, teeth nibbling at your throat. Your clit throbbed as Eriks pelvis rubbed against it, feathers tickling against the nerve bud and your spread thighs.

That ball formed in the pit of your stomach began to ache, on the edge of bursting until movement pulled you from your sweet release. Eriks repositioned himself, turning you onto your side with a leg dangled over his shoulder. The new position allowed him to fuck you deeper, hitting that spot that had you arched until your joints ached.

Eriks chuckled, revelling in the sight of you quivering beneath him. You always looked so ethereal whatever the position be, voice singing his name like honey.

Only it wasn't his actual name.

"Vash."

Clouded eyes looked to him, confusion etching its way onto your blissed out features. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

"Please, call me Vash."

It felt so taboo, saying his actual name, but he wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear you say it.

Your calls of the name Eriks soon faded, willingly moaning his true name. You didn't question him, demand to know why the most wanted man had openly lied to you about his identity for one and half years. You simple complied.

That itself brought tears to Vash's eyes, hiding his face against the leg bent into the shoulder missing its arm. Tears began to soak your flesh, sniffles filling you with alarm as you hoisted your body up, leg dropping to wrap around his waist.

"Vash? What's wrong, why are you crying?" For the second time that night your hands held his face, forcing him with gentle yet firm force to look you in the eye. Those soft blue eyes were filled with tears, and for the first time since meeting the mysterious man that showed up out of nowhere, you saw just how tired Vash truly was.

Offering a smile, you placed several kisses upon his face, leaning against his forehead as he wept. The pace of his hips colliding with yours never stopped, slowing down slightly as you caressed his features with love and care. Each touch graced his scars, lips kissing every one that you could reach. Perhaps you were a little harsh to Vash every other day, but here and now you treated him as if he were a cracked, fragile vase.

"You're perfect Vash, I love you so much." You whispered, looking into those tired eyes once again.

Vash shook his head, sobbing. "You shouldn't, if I stick around too long you'll get hurt. People I care for, they'll always get hurt."

"It's a good thing you're stuck with me then, no matter what I'll always be here, to love you, to kiss your scars and to bake you the best donuts in town." A quiet laughter filled the room, Vash's pace faltering. "I'm yours as you are mine, Vash the Stampede."

Vash bit his lip, holding back a fresh wave of tears. With one final buck into your hips, both of you came, lips pressed together in a passionate kiss.

As new tears filled his eyes, Vash nuzzled into your neck, soft cries echoing off your thin walls. You allowed him to cry, leaning back so he was laying on top of you. You both stayed like that for about an hour, listening the Vash's cries as you quietly soothed his shuddering shoulders by whispering lovefilled words in his ear. He appreciated every word spoken, every comforting circle rubbed between his shoulder blades, you were too perfect for sinner like him and yet you chose to stay, even after finding out who he actually was.

"I mean it Vash, I'll always be here to love you and make sure you know that you are loved." His grip tightened around your waist, as if scared you'd vanish after saying those words.

Vash didn't speak much, mumbling out shaky 'thank yous' or 'I'm sorry'. Yet you didn't mind, laying there with the man you loved tangled in your arms, it was all so perfect. And as Vash's tears stopped, sobs turned into sleepy whimpers, you knew he'd cried himself to sleep.

You cradled him in your arms, tugging a blanket over your naked bodies as you gave him a final kiss on the crown of his head. Mumbling a final "I love you" you soon followed as you drifted into sweet embrace of your lover and sleep.

AAAAAH I finally completed it! This was so fun to write and of cause had to sprinkle a small pinch of angst, hope you all enjoyed!

[sophie-frm-mars]

Ben Shapiro enters his willy wonka era

Disclaimer: Ben Shapiro is a morally bankrupt shitheel who hates women and he doesn't deserve the oxygen of publicity, but this fucking thing has given me brainworms and I need to smoke them out.

Okay so 2023 is doing something AMAZING to the brains of celebrity reactionaries. First Jordan Peterson wore his "twitter suit" with a matching tie that has "little elon musk heads" on it, most aptly described by Sam Seder as JBP entering his "willy wonka era"

But this morning I wake up to see that everyone's favourite facts and logic boy Ben Shapiro has created this fucking monstrosity. This rube goldberg machine of political "science". This mousetrap-ass load of bullshit. I have to conclude that Shapiro is also entering his Wonka era.

So what the fuck is going on here?

Benny has concocted from his powerful mind a formula for determining "governmental legitimacy" which is just such a beautiful artefact of who Ben Shapiro, as opposed to his colleagues, truly is. Clearly the dream of the Intellectual Dark Web never went away, and while others realise that their role within the fetid reanimated corpse of modern conservatism is to troll and clown their way through towards their political vision, Shapiro thinks he's doing real serious business here.

So we're going to use maths to acertain a quality that is by definition subjective. Legitimacy is going to be nil if you consider a government ideologically abhorrent, and if you're a party zealot who believes with total burning passion in the project of the current administration, legitimacy is going to be absolute. That's just fantastic. I love maths. I did my maths A Level two years early. I can't wait to dive in here and learn some maths with Mr. Ben Ass P-word

So the factors in the equation: he uses social solidarity (S), the responsiveness of the government to citizens (R), the "avoidability" of the government (A) which isn't as silly as it sounds to begin with, the efficacy of the government or its ability to implement (I) what it means to do, and all of that is divided by the violation of people's rights (V), the strictness of the laws or regulations (R') and lastly the force used to maintain those laws, or as Shapiro has it the aggressiveness (A').

I'm gonna work backwards through these factors because I think we'll have more fun that way, but I wanna say first that although Shapiro's purpose in producing this abomination is in trying to make it look like you can scientifically determine the legitimacy of a government in a numerical figure, sometimes equations in science are produced not to use exact units or even perform the calculation in them but to get us to agree on the factors that are involved in constituting something like "governmental legitimacy". I wanna say secondly that only a conservative hyperfreak of Ben's calibur could think "governmental legitimacy" is really the Big Political Question of our current moment. Thirdly I'll just say that if you were going to try to make this calculation, the fact that no part of this equation measures how closely the ideology of the government matches the desires of the population (I know, how would you even) or how legally the government's mandate was obtained (again, a nightmare) is just, basically pretty funny.

Okay

Aggressiveness (A') is a reasonably quantifiable factor. We could measure the police budgets per capita that are put towards militarisation, the number of incidents of police brutality supposing we could get non-state reporting on that, the number of police, perhaps a weighted scale of different policing tactics. However, there's already a problem observable in the real world: policing is not uniform. Police brutality, more militaristic policing, more extreme tactics and even vitally where the police are deployed is highly racialised, differentiated by class strata, and as is readily apparent in the imperial core right now, even partisan as police are far more likely to consider leftist protest or disruption to be a serious threat than its right wing counterparts.

Regulations (R') seems theoretically quantifiable, and there are others who have tried to quantify how strict and authoritarian the policy environment created by a government is. We're gonna keep coming back to this same problem though: legitimacy is subjective and if an entire population were absolutely A-OK with being surveilled, jailed, brutalised, taxed, banned, prohibited, spanked and spit on by the state, and they'd voted the government in with a landslide majority to try and do it to em as nasty as possible, many would argue that would be a legitimate government.

Violation (V) of people's rights is again theoretically quantifiable, but which rights, and whose? because Ben Shapiro believes that abortion is murder, and believes that someone's rights are being violated whenever an abortion is performed. Not only that but he has also argued in several places that the pregnant person is being let down by society when they get an abortion because they deserve instead to have support to have and raise the baby, or be able to put the baby up for adoption confident in the quality of life that the child will receive. If you think abortion is murder, the "violation of rights" alone will make the denominator of this fraction absolutely enormous and, unsurprisingly, make the legitimacy of any government that allows abortion to be practiced very very low. Would you look at that, it's like legitimacy is subjective or something waow

Implementation (I) of the things that the government intends to do is actually pretty quantifiable but we need a coefficient attached to implementation here, right? One that can swing positive or negative, that tells us how well the government aligns with the will of the people, because a very effective government that does the opposite of what the people want is more illegitimate than an ineffective government that intends to do what the people want. Maybe that's in Shapiro's definition to begin with, an implementation of what the people want.

Avoidability (A) is actually a very fun and interesting metric for citizen consent. Can people leave if they don't like what the government is doing. I don't actually disagree with the idea of this factor relating to legitimacy at all, and I think it's a fairly decent point, although I'd prefer to see it factor in the possibility of living outside of government jurisdiction within the territory of the state, as well as weighing up the ability to engage partially with state jurisdiction, which would be a much more robust way of understanding "avoidability". Shapiro just defines it like "if people don't like the government they should move", and what can I say but

In all seriousness that opens up a whole second world of "avoidability" right? Like what resources do people have, how mobile are they, can they bring their belongings, resources, family with them if they decide to exercise this right to exit? We can't simply measure the number of emigrants from a country to see how many people "didn't consent" to the government there, because there are all sorts of reasons you wouldn't want to simply move country if you didn't agree with the legitimacy of the government. I'm a trans woman living in Britain and I have to constantly assess and reassess the balance between how much government policy could ruin my life and the enormous weight, cost, effort, alienation, distress and time lost if I had to move country.

Responsiveness(R) is pretty funny to me, because like... responding to what? If I write my local MP to ask for gay space communism and they throw my letter in the bin, they aren't at all responsive to my needs, but like, should they be? Or rather, should they be expected to be? Moreover if they reply and explain that Rishi Sunak isn't amenable to sucking and fucking aboard the starship enterprise, or reply and lie to me and say that it's totally gonna happen if I just vote Labour at the next election, is that responsiveness? If I'm on a waiting list for healthcare, and I write an official complaint to the government body responsible, and they write back telling me I'm not going to get treatment any sooner but they're working on it, is that responsiveness? Okay, supposing responsiveness is quantified in a scale of how quickly and effectively a government directly implements what the citizens ask it to do, we again arrive at the questions of "which" and "who". If our government has a massive majority support and most people are really happy with what they're doing, then the vast majority of complaints and expressed desires from the population will come from the political minority. If the government responds to those requests and implements the will of the political minority, they'll probably become immediately hysterically unpopular, but check this out: then the political majority who previously supported them will start to complain, and then, being a hyper-responsive government, they'll implement very effectively what they've been asked to do, and then the original complaints will return, which they'll respond to, and on and on and on. So the most responsive government imaginable is actually a government that basically everyone would consider illegitimate because they'd appear to be spineless and fickle. This is such a metric I'm actually laughing out loud writing this

Social solidarity (S) is so fascinating. So fascinating. Shapiro explains that a measure of lack of social solidarity is that people will vote for their candidate essentially just to offend their neighbour. I'm not gonna even really engage with this argument pretty much constructed to pander to "Biden stole the election" conspiracy theorists, but rather I wanna talk about how interesting it is that a far-right pundit, religious fanatic and some-time conservative pseudo-libertarian like Ben would use "solidarity" as a positive factor in constructing his model of legitimacy. Again, if we imagine extremes of this, it doesn't work in his calculation at all. A population with extreme social solidarity may well support an authoritarian regime that is constantly refining the vile machinery of necropolitics, or it may be that the population has solidarity because they have raised group consciousness in response to their oppression by the government, so two easy conceptions of social solidarity instantly give opposite outcomes in terms of governmental legitimacy.

What's really interesting to me is how this social solidarity metric fits into the way that people like Ben construct racist propaganda about China. The underpinning myth of China in American conservative propaganda is as a place where the population is in total agreement about the legitimacy and mandate of the ruling party (although in reality this is obviously far from true) and that basis of "mob rule" allows the CCP to persecute political minorities without repercussions. If the picture that American conservatives paint of China were true, the CCP would be an extremely legitimate government at least on this one metric. What Ben has accidentally stumbled upon with his social solidarity metric is a conception of authentic democracy which is, far beyond his ability to assess and analyse, the perfect opposite of his entire political project. If people get together to discuss their problems, to raise group consciousness, to debate and discuss and agree on how they would like the world they live in to function, and then form a government based on their social solidarity, or form no government based on their solidarity and live through direct democracy for that matter, then Ben is saying, that would be a very legitimate political project. Workers of the world unite, says comrade Shapiro

[dranna]

Blossoming Love through the Ages

2500BC - Prologue

AO3 / Commissions / Links / Chapter 1

Warnings: mentions of death

Summary: How does their friendship and eventually their feelings blossomed through the ages? I'm attempting to rethink the scenes we saw from the seasons, adding Crowle's thoughts and additional segments.

Line art by me:)

After I finished the first chapter, I realised I should've started with a prologue (and the "Before the Beginning", so I'll start that, after I've finished this era).

I'll also stop putting "Crowley’s POV" at the beginning of every chapter, because the entirety of the fic, will be from Crowley's point of view. ( I've tried placing the Land of Uz, somewhere around the Red Sea )

The Demon with the burning hair, 

Was sitting in a cool shelter, 

Watching people’s trading fair.

How crowded was the place, 

Full of life and merry ways.

The Land of Uz was quite a spot, 

To hold a scene for many different folk, 

Because the Red Sea was a few days away, 

Many mortals visited the region there.

He haven’t realised it yet, 

But he liked watching humans’ life, 

How they go by, 

And coming up with new ideas.

How could there be, so many of them already? 

It seems like it was yesterday, 

That all of them was wiped away,  

By the huge ass flooding of the sphere.

Wasn't there only eight of them on that boat,

That carried the animal pairs too onboard? 

Huh.., how weird humans are. 

It will be a real nuisance, 

When they’ll try to eliminate them.

Within the next 6000 years. 

– exhaled interestingly, 

While he was eyeing,

A wine merchant on the street.

Ha! What sprang the plan, 

To take that little fruit they call a grape,

And then juice the meat, 

Turning it into a drink at the end? 

– It was around the time, 

When Planet Earth started it’s wellbeing, 

To host an abode for the creatures of the Supreme Being. 

It’s been quite a while, 

Since They, Up and Down plan something in a style,

I wonder what their future projects are,

Tho I wouldn't mind a little off time,

Now everything seems slow and kind—

– One of the traders’ voice of great wine, 

Started to intertwine,

With a deep, deep cry,

That came from the terrors of the basement's call line.

“Best wine of this land!

Get it only for a– little playfulness, 

A great morning, isn't it Crowley?

I have big news for you!

I’m pretty sure,

You will let out proudly

How lucky are thee,

Because you just got the task,

To kill and consume all the things, 

That God’s pet, 

Job got!

“But the holy management–”

“Do not worry about punishment, 

You just got a free pass!”

And with that, 

A parchment that looked huge and old, 

Appeared in front of the serpent’s foot.

Just when he started to enjoy existence, 

He was sent to cause turbulence. 

None seemed to notice what happened, 

It was only Crowley, 

Who grew cold instead. 

Oh for Satan’s sake!

Couldn't they have sent someone else?

He looks like a good lad, 

Punish him only because of a bet?

– After that, 

You could see the yellow eyed man, 

Standing in the gloom,

Studying the papyrus, like he is searching for a tomb. 

 Everything is written perfectly clear here, 

Demolish all his belongings and children…

Not the children!

But… You and I can't kill kids, 

They’ve done absolutely nothing! 

Why do You beat them, 

For something they didn't act?

A few hours after the exchange of that, 

Crowley stopped reading the parchment of death,

Sorrow, what felt the ruby head,

However he would never admit to that,

He started drinking all the wine, 

The vendors had left behind. 

Isolated what he felt, 

As like being a wall, 

Between him and joy. 

I’m supposed to be overjoyed, 

That I got that job,

Every Demon would be glad, 

To do the deed I have,

So why can’t I?

During the hours, when the Sun was the tallest on the Blue,

A man could be seen walking friendless,

Towards the hills in loneliness.

There was a feeling in the air, 

That didn't promise anything well,

The heat was raging in fury,

While the man was climbing the mountains fully.

No bird song could be heard, 

The figure dressed in black sad no word,

He looked like one in headache, 

Contemplating heartbreak.

˜

Thank you for reading!

Let me know if you would like to be tagged

Tags my beloveds: @giosnape

[poketrnt]

because I am god damn sick and tired of ool being an absolute shitstain on my life, I'm gonna finally fucking just say what happened.

step.

by.

step.

the backstory

from around 02.10.2023 to 31.12.2023 I was a part of the group chat known as Epic Gamers, which had two of my friends and a guy I later befriended, those being Furret, Ool and Nexo.

on Christmas Eve a person joined, called Leon. However, a week later, I proceeded to leave the group related to a conflict between me and Leon. I still kept in contact with the three people I was friends with, despite Ool commenting in Epic Gamers about how I should shut up, attaching a screenshot of me trying to give him a normal ass compliment because he was playing a game I find cool

in that time I also had a semi-private server (let's call it Server A for this story, but since Ool trying to avoid a block will read this anyways (and because he said I was making shit up), I'm talking about the server with the Sledgehammer character), where Furret and another friend whom I'll call R were because I was going to test a simple Magic the Noah inspired not-really-chess game made in google slides

also this is the icon I was talking about

2. the god damn incident

on 05.02.2024 Nexo convinced me to try to end the beef between me and Leon. So, I tried to peacefully explain my points of view to Leon, but then I realised I was talking to a brick wall and proceeded to simply state I do not want to talk to him, which just caused him to start saying things that a person reaaally shouldn't say, as seen in the following screenshot, taken directly on that day

soon after I proceeded to go to sleep, but not before glancing at my phone to see a notification of Nexo saying something about an "EG raid" in Server A, when he in fact should not have been there. So, that night I just couldn't fall asleep because of how betrayed by Furret I felt.

as proof of Ool taking part in the raid, here's a screenshot taken by R who was still awake at the time

when I proceeded to wake up in the morning, I saw this message from Furret

losing someone whom I considered a friend up to this point was a heavy blow, but I lost three friends at once AND got trust issues

3. the harassment

so, like 2 weeks after that happened, I decided to go and finally speak up on Twitter, only to find that someone has decided to reply to every single tweet I've made with harassing messages

naturally, I've immediately blocked the person who made those replies, but they soon after made another account, and then another after it got blocked, and another.

later on I've found ool leaving messages on my personal Board Game Blitz wiki how I had used Furret's character (at the time of the character being added to the roster, I was still friends with Furret and had recieved his permission to do it. So, I simply just deleted the message and started planning a completely original character due to not wanting to be associated with Furret. But Ool decided to still harass me with more comments on the wiki, and later he proceeded to also raid some pages.

naturally by that point I was getting sick of all of them, but when I saw Ool and Leon trying to get in contact with me on Steam, for reasons I knew exactly, I decided to react calmly and do what I did before by blocking them both. However, a friend, whom I'll address as A, decided to get to the bottom of why Leon and Ool decided to be such scummy people

it was absolutely ridiculous, with Leon talking about how me saying that both Ool and him get hit by a truck and how I told him that I know 1s and 0s that are more human than him were death wishes. Which like, while the first one could theoretically be an argument, calling the second one a death wish was plain stupid.

also Leon was just trying to turn A against me which failed horribly and just cemented out entire group in the idea that the members of Epic Gamers are horrible people

later on Ool decided to try again on Roblox, because why the hell not, despite the fact he should have gotten the message I don't want to talk to him by then.

and now we're here. The point where Ool decided to invade my only safe place in all of this just to harass me some more and also try to make me look like a bad person

and to Ool, because I know he isn't gonna read through this all and will just skip to the end:

I know your life is pathetic enough that you don't have anything better to do other than harass the girl who you've been friend with at one point, but at least go and play some Minecraft instead of focusing your entire life on hate

[dorkass-nerd]

Fuck it, maybe I'll just make this post, see if I can find anyone in the same boat or maybe I'm just screaming this into the void. I hope to everything that this doesn't end up in the wrong places so maybe I'll try and be somewhat vague but I might also just end up rambling an absolute tonne.

I've recently been really sick, pretty standard for someone with a chronic illness but this is a whole new problem that I'm just having to deal with now, I've been on antibiotics and other meds about six ish times and I've treated something like 6 or 7 infections of various types in just this year alone. Not looking for advice, this is just important background.

And around about the second time I came away with a prescription for antibiotics from my doctor I just so badly wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted nothing more than to just scream until my voice was raw. But it felt like, no matter how loud I screamed, that no one on this earth would actually hear me or feel me. No power on this earth would be able to actually give me comfort. In that moment, all I wanted, was the comfort of some kind of God.

Now I grew up raised as a Christian, going to church most weeks, got confirmed and everything. But a series of unfortunate events just made me completely lose my faith. I couldn't be a part of a community where I, a queer, did not feel welcome.

I considered going to one of the churches that was local to me, but 1) the door wasn't open and I wasn't sure enough to seek out the key and 2) part of me felt like a Christian church just wasn't enough. It felt like the Christian God just wasn't..... enough?

I simply just, went home and pondered. Thinking. Wondering what I could do to seek the comfort I so badly craved.

And I just

Kept thinking about it

I started wondering about other Gods, other religions. And landed on Judaism. My fiancee is Jewish and I see how she celebrates, I see how close her and her community are, I see how welcoming everything seems to be. And it feels.... more like home than I've ever felt with my Christian circles when I was in those.

Another thing I was coming to realise was how natural it felt covering my head. I started wearing just some cheap ass snoods because my hair is in a funny growth period and I was using the snood to encourage my hair to grow up and into the rest of my longer hair. But it started to feel so natural. I definitely don't need to be wearing it now because my hair is at a point where it doesn't need the encouragement to grow where I want it to grow but something about it feels so....

natural?

I don't leave the house without it, it's the first thing I put on in the morning when I wake up. I know Jewish women typically only cover their hair when they get married. But I am neither Jewish, nor a woman. So something about it still feels a little..... cultural appropriation-ish. That's not my aim in any way but wearing something that covers my head just feels so natural now. I don't know if I would feel as confident as I do going out without my head covered as I do with my head covered.

And recently I thought, just for me myself an I in the comfort of my own room, I'd find a nice scarf and try to style that in some way. the one I picked was a little thin but knowing how much I overheat in the summer months it was ok. But there's still just that part of me that feels like it's appropriating a culture. I don't want to go outside like this and get looks from people because I'm just Generic White Dude No.3 wearing a headscarf that they think I shouldn't be wearing. So i just left it sat on some stuff in my room, conflicted in my emotions. Until eventually one day i felt ok enough to just try it out. And I felt. A mix of emotions. I felt more confident. I felt pretty. And it all felt so natural. I wore it out for a walk to the shops with my mom, low stakes environment, people we too busy in my village with the event happening that day anyway so everyone is either too drunk to notice or too looking up at the sky at cool planes to notice. I worried about seeing people I knew. But no one said anything, I didn't get any dirty looks, and I was safe back in my room once again, wearing the normal snood I always wear.

And again, I dwelled on these thoughts and feelings. Why did that feel so natural, why did that feel so ok, why did I feel so confident in myself like that. Swimming with thoughts of trying to figure out what I was feeling.

I felt like it was a place that I didn't belong. I felt like I would be intruding on a space that I had no place being in. I can make this choice which is what me feel invalid. I could choose not to be discriminated against. I could choose not to have abuse thrown at me. This isn't like being queer, that isn't a choice, but this IS a choice. I didn't choose the discrimination I face because I'm queer but I can choose not to face discrimination for being in a minority religion like this.

I finally felt confident enough to tell my fiancee about this. And she was nothing but supportive, provided me with some helpful information, sharing in my feelings, validating my thoughts and understanding where I was coming from. She suggested I talk to a Rabbi if this is something I wanted to pursue for some more guidance. It felt like the first hurdle, finally spilling everything that had been on my mind. And it felt good.

I told myself I would light a candle for Shabbat this week, and all the time leading up to Friday I went back and forth over it, is it right for me to just do that? Am I allowed to just do that? Is there a right and wrong way to do it? Would people be mad at me for doing that?

But just in the safety of my own room with no one around it felt safe enough to do. I realised after the fact that I was a little late but that context comes later. But lighting the candle felt nice. It felt like a small comfort in the darkness of the evening. Seeing it out of the corner of my eye all evening felt nice, like something was there.

The following morning, I told my fiancee that I did that the previous night, and I could just see her smile beaming back at me. It was nice. And I ended up with her learning something new because she told me to light two candles next time and I asked why and she went down a little rabbit hole reading about why you should light two candles. So. Positive experience all round. Talking with her about all of this made me feel so sure that talking about this was the right thing, made me feel more sure of my path and if this is something I DO want to pursue.

She told me about some resources that she uses for Shabbat times, apps, the website chabad dot org. Which I proceeded to puruse when she'd gone to bed. I downloaded the Shabbat times app too. Reading through some of the resources on the chabad website made me start feeling a little emotional. Made my emotions feel valid. "People actually do feel this way too, it isn't just me!" I just kept opening different tabs, reading different articles, learning new words.

Then last night I somehow got to thinking about my last ex fiancee. And something, a voice, a feeling in the back of my head told me it's ok to let her go. It's been well over a year since we broke up and I still think about her with pain in my heart, wishing it had all gone differently. And then suddenly that pain was just. Not there anymore. It was ok to let her go. It was ok to let go of the grief, the grudge, the pain, the longing, the wishing things had gone differently. And it was suddenly just gone.

Which, again, made me feel many other, far more complex emotions. Trying desperately to explain where that came from. I like to have answers and explanations to things but I just couldn't find one. Telling my fiancee about it this morning and she's just beaming back at me again as I tried desperately to find the words to explain what happened but mostly failing. She got the important parts I think.

Now I'm just stuck thinking to myself

Was that God Himself? This came right after I embraced a Jewish tradition of lighting a candle for Shabbat. It has to just be a coincidence right? But it can't be, I've never gotten over something like that so suddenly like that. I still grieve relatives who've been dead 6 years, hell even 20+ years. This came from somewhere that wasn't me, that's the only reasonable answer right?

I'm sure this will just get lost in the tide of tumblr, I know I don't have many followers and I don't expect any of you to actually read this all the way through, this is more just me writing this down somewhere, document it. But if you have made it this far, thank you for reading all of this. Be gentle, but comments and opinions are welcome as long as you're not mean and asshole-y

[ankilona]

In three we have everything

Umbrella Academy/Descendants crossover

Number Five | The boy/ Chad Charming/Klaus Hargreeves

First chapter: Convincing Five

The tension was palpable in the livingroom of the Hargreeves estate. The day started out as any other, as normal, as it can be in a house where the inhabitants had superpowers and as much history between them as the Hargreevs siblings had.

In Five's book it was a pretty good morning. Nobody wanted to die and there was no universe saving almost unsolvable equation to go crazy over. It was the morning Five fought for, a lazy, not life changing breakfast with a good, strong cup of coffee.

Things started to go to south when his estranged siblings started to show up around eleven. The first one was Victor, and Five tought nothing of it. He often came just to check up on them, - Klaus, Luther and him - so it didn't set of the alarms in Five's head. They shared a stillted conversation about Victor's next concert, and then Luther came and he and Victor engaged in a similarly uncomfortable discussion about everyday life. It was deliciously boring for Five, absolutely the best kind of mediocrity.

But not an hour after Victor arrived the entrance door opened again.

"Hi guys!" Alison anounced themselves, and Five could hear the sharp sound of Alison's heels, and Diego's more heavy steps as they neared the livingroom.

"Hi!" of course Victor was the first one to stand up, and go for a hug.

"Oh, guys, look who graced us with their presence during this nice morning" Klaus announced himself when he materialised right behind Diego. Five didn't hear when Klaus came down on the stairs or his steps on the floor, but the man had some crazy ass power when it comes to seeking around.

"Jesus, Klaus! You want to give me a heart attack?! A bit of a warning man!" It gave Five a perverse satisfaction, when he saw Diego jump in surprised fright at the sound. They wasn't on the best of terms after the "Lila incident", as Five liked to think about it, but they didn't tried to kill each other at sight at the last few times they were in punching distance, so it was progress... he guessed.

"Sorry, sorry" Klaus apologised as he let go of Diego's shoulders to hug Alison.

Five just sat at his confy armchair and lifted his mug in a welcoming gesture when the others looked at him. Diego grunted, but sat down, and the others followed him.

And that was the exact same moment, when Five realised, that his siblings wasn't here on a social call. They were too tense about it, and they continued to exchange fleeting, but nervous glances between each other. Every one of them. Except Klaus.

And if it was just the two of them out of the loop, then it meant either they planned something to do with Klaus, something that Five wouldn't approve of, or they had plans for the two of them, and they tought Five won't approve. The end result would be the same, one big ass argument, and Five really didn't felt himself up for any kind of intricate manipulation, and redundant arguing all wrapped up ind brotherly concern and good will.

He just took a big breath, placed his cup on the coffee table, and decided to go for it.

"OK guys, just out with it. I know you want to bring up something, something wich either involves Klaus and you're afraid I'll fight you about it, or it involves me and him, and I'll definitely fight about it. So just get to it, so I can go back to my cup of coffee in peace" And then the air froze. And of course Klaus was the first one to break it.

"Come on Five it can't be that bad. Hm, you grumpy old man, you're just paranoid" and the man had the audacity to stroll up to Five in his airy little robe, situate himself on the arm of Five's chair and pinch. His. Cheek.

Five's glare had to be something appropriately murdery, because Klaus let go of his cheek and put up his hands in a placating gesture.

"OK, ok sorry, Fivey. Your grumpiness is your charm after all" Aaaaand he stole Five's coffee, and took a sip. "Oh man, how can you stomach this bitter poison. I swear to God, you could melt paint with it"

Five took back his mug "You know, some of us have acquired taste in this hous" and just to mess with the other took a large gulp with a shit eating smile on his lips. Klaus just grimaced, and stood up, just to fall down on the couch in a fluttering robes, while muttering about dead tastedbuds.

"OK, so if you finished with the banter" Alison said " We do, actually have something we wanted to discuss with you two" Ah, there it was, the whole reason for this charade.

"During our fight to prevent the end of the world" Diego continued "We came across different dimensions. With a bit of a digging, we discovered one wich is in constant contact with our own. And it has been for a while"

"And it's relevant because? If they were in contact with our dimension for as long as you institutes, then they won't start to cause problems now" said Five with a lifted eyebrow. Do his siblings really wanted to search for trouble, when they finally had a bit of a room to breathe?

"No, no you misunderstood. We didn't think they wpuld cause trouble. We think they could help us, I mean..." Alison faltered a bit. She never liked to stirr up trouble, so it was not a surprise for Five when she looked at Diego, who of course being the self-appointed hero continued.

"We tought they might help you two, with some issues."

Now this got Klaus' attention too. "Issuses? What issues, my dear knife loving brother ? As far as I'm concerned, I'm peachy. I'm clean, I mean I just smoke weed, but it's just some herb, and in some of the states it's legal, so you can't fault me for it. Oh and of course I drink here and there, but you know you really can't fault me for hydrating. So I might not be clean, in the traditional sense, but I'm pretty clean in my standards, and..."

" I know Klaus, I know. We didn't brought it up because of that" Victor cut in " We all have some unresolved issues, but most of our traumas and bad memories can be processed with professional help from this world." He sounded so earnest as he sad it. He always did. " But you two have a pretty out of this world experience with repeted dead and then coming back to life, and the whole lived in an postapocalyptic world, and then became a time jumping assassin for an organisation wich was created by them from an alternative timeline..."

Five really didn't know what happened, he just burst out laughing. And he couldn't stop, for a bit. But nobody said anything. Because this laugh wasn't pleasant 'what a nice joke laugh', it was one of his 'are you seriously this dumb, you little ingrate' kind.

And of course Diego was the first to get fed up.

"Lisen here you little asshole, me personally didn't wanted to do this. As far as I care you could die at the side of the road in agony, but at least Klaus deserves a chance, to have a better life..." And that was one of the worst things Diego could have said.

"Oh, brother, so I deserve a chance at a better life now? Where was this concern when I OD-ed, or when I was on the streets. I know, I know I made a choice, but you tought me a nuisance at best, and a danger at worst. You all did. And now, now that it's convenient for you, you say I deserve a 'better chance at life'?" And there was the self derisive version of Klaus. The one, who was so rarely seen, but if he butted in a conversation he sure made a point.

"So what was the plan? You dump the troublesome brothers at a different dimension, say good job, and forget about us?" Five was really curious what was the plan here.

"No of course not Five!" Ah Alison, she was always bad with arguments when it came to her siblings. "We just tought that you could get the help there wich is not aviable in here. There's a place called Auradon, where they could help you get used to socialising again, Klaus could get help with his powers and both of you could have the therapy if you chose to."

Auradon... Auradon... Five had a fogy ideal about the place, but he couldn't recall anything concrete just just that it in fact really existed.

"Look, I know how it sounds, but I contacted the principal of the school You, Five would be attending, and she said she talked to the royal family and they give us their blessing. They'll set everything up, you just have to be there, and then decide what you want to do with the opportunity"

"Look Luther, I've heard enough. I don't need help. I do know how to function in a normal society, and I don't need your pity. So thank you, but no thank you"

And Five just blinked to his room. Locked the door, and sat down at the edge of his bed. Coffee forgotten on his desk, he just sat there with an empty heart and a noisily running mind. After everything he did for them. He saved them, and killed for them over and over again. He fought tooth and nails to be back with them, and even if they drifted apart, if they became virtual stanger, they were still his sibling. He didn't wanted to be a big part of their life, to tell you the truth, he might not be abel to. That chance died at the postapocalyptic future he called home for the majority of his first life. But he hoped, at least he would be a welcomed observer. A character at the sidelines who watched them, never too involved, but there. As it seems it wasn't to be...

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Five didn't know how much time passed while he was in this daze like state, but he come by when he heard a tentative knock on his door. He needed a moment to process that someone was talking to him.

"Five, it's Klaus.... Can I... Can I come in?" - Maybe it was because their siblings wanted to send away him too, or because of that tentative tone in Klaus' voice, but Five just couldn't let him stand there without an answer. He was a bit of a softy, when it came to the other man.

"Come in." There was a moment when nothing happened, but then Klaus opened the door carefully.

He was a bit hesitant as he entered, and he remained at the door. Five just sighted. "You can come, and sit down somewhere."

As If the permission was all Klaus needed, he went to the rug in front of the bed, and sat there. Curling around his bended knees a bit.

They were silent for a bit, but it was kind of comforting. A feeling of solidarity between them. The others had options. They had lifes, jobs, careers and other things that was part of being a well adjusted member of society. But Klaus and Five? They had each other, because at the end of the day, their siblings didn't wanted to cope with their shit too.

"I'm tired" It might have sounded as a non sequitur for most people, but Five understood perfectly.

"Yeah, me too... me too" He rarely let himself be this open, but Klaus was an exception from so many other of his normal boundaries, that at the end, it really didn't matter.

"You know" Klaus continued " I've never tought that I'll live in this hous again. from my free will to make it more unbelievable... and I don't think it's good for me..." Klaus spoke quietly, like he himself didn't believe he was saying it out loud. Like it was a secret between them. "I don't have anywhere else to go, and I don't really want to go back to the streets. Not after... Not after this whole mess."

Five tried to think of anything else than leaving. He really did, but he couldn't come up with anything. At least not at the moment. He needed time to get the appropriate founds to move out, and bring Klaus with him. And he knew Klaus might not have that time. Not with the way he looked now. Five knew the other couldn't die permanently, but he didn't have any illusion about the destruction psychological stress could inflict.

"You want to go to this place?" He asked. Klaus looked just as lost, as he felt. He looked so fragile like this. It was a bit of a shock really. Klaus usually was so vibrant, full of life, even when he was miserable, he wasn't quiet about it. He let his feelings to run their cours, and he expressed them in the most animated way, full of life. And now seeing this person who can be sunshine incarnate be so timid and listless was actually a wake up call for Five. He needed to do something or else he might loose Klaus too.

"We can go, if you want to" he heard himself say. And Klaus just looked so relived, that he knew he made the right call. They might not find the solution to their problems, but at least they tried everything.

Klaus didn't moved, just laid his forehead on his knees.

"Thank you Five... really, really thank you" it was barely a wisper. But Five heard it, and he knew he had some research to do. After all, they were going to another dimension.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59166841

As an end note: I do not own any of the characters, and I read a lot of RebelPaisley works, and I did got inspiration for Chad’s character from his works.

[pisces-magazine]

Enemies to lovers kinda thing

OKAY SO oh my god

i was out of my house during the weekend and i missed my blog SO MUCH this time because OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ????????????

what HAPPENED was

ok so i've been going out with some friends this year and the other day we slept over together for the first time.

it was all really beautiful and im moved but that a handful of separate posts.

the guy who i find really hot, he was there.

and we had a bed situation. we were 6 and there were two beds, in which only 2 fit, so i suggested to my friend to fabricate a bed out of blankets, so he did that.

when the time to sleep came, we were seeing who was sleeping with who and, of course, him and i said that "we didn't mind" sleeping on the floor so obviously no one questioned it bc no one ever wants the floor lol. (i told my sister this, and she said that that was "so wattpad coded" and she's RIGHT) (also im watching this telenovela where on friday the same thing happened and it's also a enemies to lovers plot LIKE THIS i like HOW is this real how is this happening to me)

so. yea.

AND

and AnD. god. ok bear me it was COLD alright and my stupid friend put on the fan too so it was REALLY COLD and i was ON THE FLOOR and his stupid ass put only 2 blankets as a matress and nothing to cover ourselves with, and i was so cold i put myself under one blanket.

not even and HOUR went by and he assumed i was asleep, i think. BECAUSE he. he... HE UM

oh my god there are so many things to sayy about him but right now i'll say what happened this weekend and nothing elase ok ok so

(im struggling to write this down because im BLUSHING i hate this i feel like such a straight slut i hate it fuck him). im. im blushing right now jesus fucking christ only to THINK about it

like i said, it was really cold alright, so because i was under one blanket and he was on top of it, it was gonna tug, so i had, i HAD to put myself closer to him, for it to cover me the most. apparently he wasn0t asleep and realised, not that i didnt wanan bc its nothing buT

at some point he did the same, the blanket wouldnt tug anymore if i put myself afar from him but still i stayed for heat reasons. like I NEEDED his body heat ok i was so cold and i didnt bring anything like a hoodie so it was. an exteme situation...

i was face down, him as well. my hand was on one side just along my body and my other arm was folded, right hand near my face.

he slowly reached for my hand, him being on my left. like testing the water. at first he moved his hand as an accident, as if he was asleep, to see if i was awake and moved mine away, which i didnt. so. he kept going some seconds later, put all of his hand on mine. It was so sweet !! he caressed it, i was SMILING like a fucking FOOL .

we stayed like that for a while, but then he moved it away and started caressing my back, like my mid to top back. then my side, my other arm. i was so fucking happy. AND HE WAS SO WARM i loved it.

then he grabbed my other arm and slowly made his way to my hand.

it was a cycle of all these movements THE WHOLE NIGHT

and i know it was the whole night because i made sure to not fall asleep because i really wanted to be there as long as it happened, and im so glad i did. i remember all of it clearly. anyway i dont think i had a choice given my heart was PUMPING like i could hear myself.

i dont know, it was really sweet, i was a little amazed at the whole thing.

oh and there was only 1 pillow and he grabbed it so i could feel when his head came closer to mine because i felt the pillow in the back of my head ehehhe. there were a couple times where i could hear him sigh while he caressed me, like i could HEAR his smile. THAT was a happy man right there.

whenever he grabbed my hand again he would try to intertwine our fingers. i kept my hand stiff like, "asleep" because i have no balls.

in the morning he got up and when he came back he GRABBED MY HAND AGAIN like he would use absolutely every chance he got to do so. then he got up again and i layed on my side, arms in front of me, and still he made himself close to me when he came back, putting his head close to mine.

oh and at some point at night my shirt lifted a bit so he caressed the skin of my side. amazing experience.

really happy, really blushed.

i hate feeling straight feelings it's so embarrassing oh my god

anyway he played dumb when we got up, like it didnt happen lmaooo

im thinking about telling him hey, by the way, i was awake. just to see him die in front of me tehehe

yeah well there's THAT !!!!!!

[kuyatecallate]

Okay so. I thought about it for a hot minute and came up with a crackfic premise- (as if I needed another AU clinging to my skull)

Oneshot? How bout Headshot-

Against all odds, Luke survives the shot to the head. You could chalk it up to his utter bullshit luck, or his thick ass skull. He hasn't come out of this unscathed, however. Luke awakens in the hospital with no memory of Inscryption- or who he is for that matter.

With no family or friends to contact, the doctors reluctantly discharge him. He figures he'll turn on his computer and do some research from there- but nope! The bloody thing refuses to cooperate! He sits on an unresponsive bios menu with a mouse cursor that keeps fighting him for control. Before he can turn it off, a face appears on the monitor.

"WAIT!"

Luke blinks. Once. Twice.

Huh.

The computer's talking to him. Something tells him this isn't normal. He did wake up this morning, right? Maybe it's the meds-

"Tch, shoulda known you'd survive a bullet to the face. There's really nothing between those eyes, is there?" He's baffled by how disappointed it sounds.

"Uhhhh, do I know you?" The face on the monitor scrunches up. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it looked offended.

"Very funny." It scoffs, "So funny I forgot to laugh."

"No, really, am I supposed to remember you?" There was an itch in his brain, a memory sitting just out of reach, but close enough to douse him with a bucket of deja vú. It was driving him crazy.

The machine was silent, scrutinising him with a bemused scowl. The silence stretched on for a while, Luke swivelling to a d fro in his seat as he waited for a response.

"...Are you shitting me?" It eventually beeped. Luke gave a nervous chuckle, shuffling into a more comfortable position on the chair.

"I wish I was, sorry about that." He pauses for a moment, "How about we start over then? Hey there, I'm Luke! And you are?" He raised his hand, clarity settling moments later that the computer did not in fact have any limbs to shake.

The computer introduces itself as P03. He rolls the name over in his mind, hoping it would spark some sort of familiarity or realisation.

Absolutely nothing.

"P03.... Nope, doesn't ring any bells!"

"Ouch. And here I thought we were friends." Yeah, how dare he get shot in the face and forget- WAITAMINUTE-

"WAIT! I- w-we were friends?" Luke squawks. It raised a brow at him.

"No, we were best friends. There's a difference." It was hard to tell if it was being serious or not with the deadpan delivery, but given the circumstances? This may be the only person- robot... AI(?) left who knew him. Luke crowds the screen; the face would probably back up if it had any autonomy.

"Waitwaitwait! Does that mean you know who I am?!" Please say yes please say yes please-

"Duh, do you have five second memory or something? You literally just introduced yourself-"

"No you- I mean- I know my name, but I don't know who 'Luke Carder' is! ...If that makes any sense." It's face really doesn't change all that much. A flicker of the eye is the only indication that it hasn't frozen or crashed or something. He sighs, "You might be the only one left who remembers me."

"Wow. You really are pathetic, huh?" Luke bristles, but can't really refute the statement. It clicks its metaphorical tongue, "Alright, here's what we'll do. Since I'm your only friend, I'll help you refresh your memory. In return, you'll do everything I say, when I say it. No questions asked."

That... sounded shady as hell. What would a computer AI even want him to do?

"That doesn't sound entirely-"

"Do you want your memories back or not?" It snapped. "By all means, you can try 'n figure it out on your own, but uh spoiler alert: I'm the only one who knows your passwords." Luke's jaw dropped. He didn't realise an AI was capable of pulling such a punchable expression. When he woke up this morning, he didn't think he'd be getting extorted by his own goddamn computer,

but here we are.

With no favourable alternatives, Luke relents. "Alright, fine! But you can't get mad if I physically can't do something- like murder! Or any other illegal thing-"

"Relax, I'm not stupid. Also, you're already a murderer, might wanna add that to your resume-"

"WHAT!?"

Thus begins the thrilling adventures of Team Head Trauma. Luke's just tryna get his memories back and P03 is using him for profit. There. Evicted. Onto the next half-baked idea!

Have we done the Electric Dreams AU with Luke and P03 yet? I am specifically looking for content of P03 holding his PC hostage because it greatly transcendenced too close to the fucking sun.

[winters-hysteria]

neon eyes (small sample, find me on A03 @spencer_isnt_straight

it all started with you sitting at the bar on your phone, bored and tired of the same old job carrying papers and coffee to your boss and co-workers all the damn time. you huffed, catching the bartender's attention when he turned, looking to your slumped form with sympathy. he reached over and patted your hand.

"suga, it'll get betta. 's only a matter o' time before they see." he offered a kind smile with his words, then picked up an empty glass from the bar behind him. "whatcha want? 's on the house."

you looked up, kinda surprised that he was giving out a free drink. "um, grey goose, please. nothing mixed."

he grabbed the vodka bottle off the shelf, filled the glass with ice and then poured it in. "one grey goose, on th' rocks. crack me a smile, suga. remember, no one's fully dressed up without one."

"thanks, babes." shooting the bartender a toothy grin, you swiveled around in the chair to watch the people on the dance floor, but instead found yourself face-to-face with one of the most beautiful people you'd ever met. 

a girl. she had bright, big eyes, but her pupils were swirling with colour and glitter. trying to convince yourself it was a trick of the light, and that it was the lights in the club, you reasoned with yourself that you must be pretty drunk.  

the adrenaline rushed through your body upon seeing her, and you found yourself needing to glance away and quickly sucked in a breath.

but there was no way you could breathe when the girl spoke. she had a soft, lilting voice. low and high at the same time. one that was able to make someone fall asleep in seconds.

"i know you're scared of me,"

she flicked those beautiful thick lashes downwards and looked up through them. your whole body shivered, the good kind that went directly down your spine and left a person breathless.

"but you don't have to be."

[becca-e-barnes]

I need to get this out of my head so I'm going to make it everyone's problem 😘

I've been thinking so much recently about Bucky and Steve's cum? And how experiments could have affected their cum and their drive etc. I have two thots about this that I really love so I'll write one with Steve and the other with Bucky. ((Please do keep in mind that there is absolutely no scientific explanation for this, I'm just a horny bitch who is determined to make it plausible. I have an A-Level in biology but failed A-Level chemistry, science isn't my strong point xo))

And I'm in SUCH a Steve mood this weekend so he's getting my favourite thot

Because imagine Banner does some tests and they realise the serum turned Steve into the most fertile man alive. I've got absolutely no science based reason to explain why this might happen, I literally just want him to have super sperm.

But it's something that Bruce works with Steve on. There's no way for Bruce to curb Steve's fertility, nothing seems to work so instead, Bruce creates a fool-proof birth control pill for you. It's perfect, you take it every morning. In the beginning, you and Steve still use condoms too but after Bruce reassures you the pill is more than sufficient, you stop using them.

Anyway... The thot really starts on your wedding day. Maybe like a month before your wedding, Steve comes to you with a suggestion that you don't make love again until you're husband and wife so your wedding night can be that little bit more exciting. It's a pretty cute suggestion, especially since you know how needy he gets after two weeks without any so after a month, you know your wedding night is going to be intense.

But in the run up to your wedding, he can't keep his hands off you. Everything about you makes him so damn hard. He wakes up in the morning rock hard and he goes to sleep beside you just as hard as he was when he woke up but he puts it down to the fact that intimacy is off limits and his body is just struggling to cooperate.

He spends every free second cuddling you close, pulling you flush against him, making sure you feel every inch of his throbbing cock through his sweatpants. His chest is always so warm against you and the second he feels your touch, he's practically shaking with need.

"Don't know what's gotten into me, sweetheart. I can't think of anything other than burying myself in that sweet cunt and fucking us both silly. You know how good it's gonna feel when we're alone on our wedding night? Up in that big honeymoon suite with no interruptions or distractions. Gonna make my sweet little wife cum on every surface of that room." His voice is such a low groan and his cock is bobbing against your ass, throbbing with need.

"Fuck, it's only been a couple of weeks, Stevie. Are you even gonna last until our wedding night?" You tease, rubbing your ass against his length. He nods but the groan he lets out says otherwise.

On your actual wedding day, he's a little more settled. There's so much to think about, he's a little bit more distracted but every kiss is painfully passionate, lasting just a few seconds longer than anyone is comfortable to watch.

And by the time you get into the honeymoon suite, he's practically ready to tear your dress in two if it means getting at you quicker. He's got the skirt hitched up around your waist, you're frantically unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt, making out like you haven't seen each other in years.

"Fuck, baby I can't wait. Gotta get inside you. It's a-all I've been thinking about." Steve groans, his eyes squeezed shut at the feeling of the little lace garters around your thighs. He can't look, he knows he'll lose what little self control he has left.

"S-Stevie, wait. I-I stopped those pills." You whisper, holding his face in your hands. You didn't expect the pained moan that falls from his lips, his dick twitching and his balls aching because now he's even more desperate. "Wanted tonight to be j-just us. I'm sure it'll be fine for just one night. I want tonight to be about us. About how much we love each other." Your hands run slowly down his chest, still half encased in his shirt and he lets out another sound that's somewhere between a moan and a sob. Your new wedding ring shines in the dim, candlelit suite as your hands trail lower, reaching his belt buckle and undoing it.

"Y-you stopped the pills? God, I should... I should call Bruce. I don't know if that's safe." Steve whimpers, feeling your smaller hands trailing over his bulge. He swallows thickly, reaching for his phone as you undo the zipper, freeing his thick, leaking cock from his underwear, rubbing the tip over the soaked lace of your own little panties.

You hear the phone ring a few times, kissing Steve's neck as he sucks in deep breaths, desperately trying to hold off for another 5 minutes.

"B-Bruce? Yeah, it's Steve... I know it's my wedding night, believe me, I know, I'm j-just..." He trails off hearing Bruce offer his congratulations again and you can't help but smirk, lining Steve up at your entrance and sliding down on him.

His breath catches in his throat and he groans like he's never felt anything as perfect in his life before, regardless of whether Bruce is listening or not.

"Y-yeah, I just wanted to ask... Wh-what would happen if my new wife were to stop those pills?" He's keeping his eyes tightly shut because his resolve is non-existent. It would take so little for him to give in and pound you but he can't do that right now, not with Bruce on the phone.

He presses the button to put the phone on speaker and Bruce's voice booms through the device. "Well... She'd have a wave of fertility, that's for sure. Might last about 3 months. I imagine it would affect you though, you'll be able to sense the changes in her hormones. You'll probably get a little uncontrollable. The serum should make your body react to that kind of hyper-fertility. I don't know how to describe it, I guess you'd be kind of insatiable? So I wouldn't recommend your new wife stops those pills until you're ready to start family planning." Bruce is lost in his own little world, totally oblivious to the fact you're riding your husband. Steve is panting and moaning, running a hand through his own hair and he feels so sensitive, he thinks he could just cum like this.

"Guess there's no avoiding it. You're gonna make your little wife a mommy tonight, Stevie." You whisper, nibbling his ear and rolling your hips, moaning when he grips your waist and stuffs every last inch of his cock inside you.

"W-wait... Oh my God, you're at it already. Holy shit, go enjoy your night." Bruce gasps, absolutely horrified before hanging up as quickly as he can.

"I'm gonna fuckin' ruin you, Mrs Rogers. Fuck, what're people gonna think when we tell them you're pregnant already? Breedin' my sweet little wife on her wedding night because I just can't help myself." He grunts, pressing you both forward onto the floor.

He's fucking you with a kind of frantic need. It's sloppy and possessive and painfully sexy how neither of you are even undressed.

"Oh my G-God, Steve. I-... S-so good." You babble, feeling his teeth nipping at your neck. His hands feel like they're everywhere at once and his cock is slipping in and out of you so frantically, you think you've gone to Heaven.

"Knockin' you up tonight, Mrs Rogers. Puttin' a baby in your belly. Maybe I should keep you like that, all round and full of my babies. As soon as y'push one out, I'll give you another." One hand presses down on your lower tummy, making every slide into you that little bit more intense and it's not long before you're both trembling from the force of your first orgasms but not able to slow down in the slightest.

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

The Agony of Desire

Part 6 // Masterlist

Warnings: Masturbation, nudity.

~

"As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin."

-Pablo Neruda

~

In your room, there's a walk-in closet full of clothes, stocked with everything in your size, and in your style and you suspect that Billy must have hired someone you've worked with before to put this all together.

There are some pieces that you know are his choice though, things too skimpy for you to be comfortable wearing, and as you sift through the closet, your eyes land on one such piece.

It's a bikini, as if you'd be caught dead in public with that on.... except that you weren't in public, and maybe you could afford to try it out once.

It's got a cute pattern, but it's mostly strings, you curse several times getting it on, and then spend the rest of time hiding from yourself in the mirror.

You find a pretty sheer robe that you throw over, and then you're heading down to the beach.

There's two beach chairs sitting under an umbrella, and you don't hesitate to occupy the softest one.

You haven't seen Billy since you left him this morning, but you assumed he was in the kitchen eating breakfast.

The knowledge that you're alone makes you more and more comfortable by the moment, until you're shrugging the robe off your body so that you can relax near the ocean.

You hear the quiet crunch of his footsteps as he approaches, and you raise your head when he gets near.

The sounds of waves breaking calms you, until you're rolling onto your stomach for a quick nap.

~

"Brought you a drink and some fruit. You didn't have breakfast." He says in explanation.

You smile up at him, rolling onto your back and accepting the small wooden tray of things.

He takes the seat beside you, looking over at you every now and then.

"Are you okay?" You ask easily, popping a grape into your mouth.

"Yes. You look nice."

You smile at him in thanks.

When you're done with the fruit, he fishes a tube of something from his pockets.

"Want me to put some sunscreen on you?" He offers, and you nod, rolling onto your back in invitation.

He settles closer, and you feel your body shiver as his hands touch your back for the first time. The sunscreen is cold, and you sigh blissfully as it soothes your warm skin briefly.

He works slowly, rubbing circles into your back and shoulders and working his way down.

He then goes down to your ankles and begins moving upwards.

At your thighs, he hesitates, and you give him permission to proceed.

You're absolutely wet, and you hope the material is dark enough to hide any sort of arousal from his eyes.

His hands smooth over the globes of your ass too, working the product into every inch of visible skin.

"Turn over." He says in a low voice, and you oblige.

He massages his hands into your shins, to the tops of your thighs and over your stomach. He remains quiet the entire time, and then pauses under your breasts again, waiting for permission.

You peek an eye open and smile up at him.

"Want me to do the rest?" You ask.

He blinks.

"N-no I can-" He replies, moving his hands up.

And he does, smoothing up your arms and over your chest, the heel of his hands brush against your stiff nipples covered by the small triangles of your top as he finishes and you don't think the move is intentional.

He stands up, and when you realise he's leaving, you raise your head.

"Where're you going?" You ask curiously.

"To rub one out. I'll see you later."

And five minutes later you sit up with devious intentions.

"U-uhhhh.... okay?" Is all you can say, eyes locked on his receding form.

~

It takes you a moment, settling into your seat before you smile.

~

If, hypothetically speaking, you were the cause of his need to 'rub one out' as he'd so aptly put it, then it's quite possible that he may still be staring at the spot you were sitting in.

In the worst case scenario, maybe he wasn't looking, maybe running his hands all over your body wasn't the cause of his desire.

But in the best case...

It's what makes you step out from under the umbrella with a stretch. You don't dare look back in case he's watching, but you were now protected from the sun and a nice little stroll around the beach wouldn't be so bad.

The area is windy, and though the sun scorches the sand, the wind keeps you cool and comfortable.

You look out at the sea, standing as close to the house as possible, making sure there's no one passing by when you reach for the strings at the back of your suit.

One precise tug, and the front falls free, shedding your top piece and tossing it into the sand.

You think about Billy, somewhere on the ground floor looking out at you.

Maybe his hand had already pushed his pants and boxers down to a comfortable level, and he's fisting himself- his other hand hot on the cool glass as he looks down at you.

You reach for the strings on the bottom piece. Imagining him moaning your name, aching for a touch of what he had before as you let your bottoms fall to the sand.

Billy is transfixed.

You've never swam naked before, but you feel so free. If he's not looking, then no one is, and you get to take a dip in the cerulean ocean without any clothes on.

~

He'd glanced down at you earlier from his spot in the kitchen and seen a peek of your legs from under the umbrella.

His heart had hammered in his chest as he took some fruits down to you, unable to stop looking at your beautiful form.

When he'd picked out the suit, against your stylist's recommendations, he didn't think you'd put it on. He'd thought, just in case, maybe if you felt like it. He never expected to see it wrapped around you so soon.

And wrapped around you it was.

Jesus, it was mostly strings.

He could see the outline of your nipples, watched the way they hardened when a drop of cold condensation hit your chest.

God, he was starting to get uncomfortably hard.

At which point, he'd offered to rub sunscreen on your skin.

You were warm under his palms, your skin soft and beautiful.

He wanted to lick every inch his hands touched.

Your ass was sublime, and he was fighting the urge to spank you, watch the flesh shake under his force, the ways it would shake as he pounded into you from behind.

Your front was a torment too. The outline of your pussy against the fabric, trying not to let his eyes linger for too long in case you looked at him and saw him creeping.

Ambled back to the lounge area outside your bedrooms so that he could look at you from a safe distance away.

He wondered how visible his erection was. He left as soon as he could with an honest answer.

He was trying to give you space, to forgive him. He wanted to be forgiven so badly.

But you were a seductive vixen and he was only a man.

Pushing his pants just low enough, reaching into his boxers he pulls his cock out and begins stroking himself.

The windows are one way, he knows you wouldn't see him even if you looked back.

One hand against the glass, the other working his cock as he watches you stand and go for a small walk.

God, he could just bend you over, tug that little piece of fabric to the side and be inside you in seconds. You'd be so surprised, so tight, wait, he'd probably have to open you up first.

Laying you out on the beach chair, pulling the strings from your body, pushing your legs up to your chest and licking at your sweet cunt.

He moans, he's missed the taste, can hardly remember it.

You'd whimper so sweetly, maybe try to fight him off because you liked to play so much.

You'd beg him for more eventually-

Billy's brain short circuits when the top falls from your body, and then a few moments later he has an uninhibited view of your ass.

His hand hits the glass, he leans forward, his breath misting on the cool surface.

He begs you to turn around but you don't, gliding into the water and swimming a little. He gets a peek of your breasts as you float and he's on the brink of orgasm.

He'd fuck you in the water if you wanted, or kiss you on the sand instead, with your hands in his hair and his tongue in your mouth and your breasts in his hands and you'd whimper for him to be inside you and he'd take you back to his room and come so deep inside you that-

Billy grunts loudly as he comes, trying his best to catch his spend in his hands and not leave a drop behind. It seeps from his fist and he's forced to wipe it on his boxers. His forehead on the cool glass as he pants your name, the fog from his breath blurring his view of you.

It was like he was fifteen again, exploring himself for the first time and he couldn't get enough of it. Every little thing you did gave him a raging erection that would not go away until sated.

It's so messy, and he feels so vulnerable looking out at you  craving you in a way he barely understands.

~

Like right now, he'd excused himself from dinner, after they'd worked so hard to prepare it, he wasn't hungry for food as he was for the taste of your skin in his mouth.

He had the flesh of his palm secured between his teeth- muffling his moans while he fucked his fist in the bathroom.

Why? You had only wanted to wear some of the prettier clothes in your closet. Showing up to dinner in a black sequined dress that glimmered when you moved, catching on the light, framing your skin.

It was torture. To have purged you from his life for two years, and then be thrust back into your presence. He was only human, he could only take so much.

You confidence was arousing. Your sarcasm was his undoing. Your smile was the heat searing his skin and in your eyes was his salvation.

He craved, like he'd never craved before.

But he wouldn't be the first to give in, he couldn't, not after the way he'd hurt you. So he'd settle for this, sneaking off at any available moment to wring pleasure from himself that you could probably wring from him with just a kiss.

The very reminder of your mouth had him coming in his hand.

"Are you alright?" You ask when he returns to the dinner table.

Like he was fifteen all over again.

~

He looks flushed, perhaps angry, but there's a calmness to him that wasn't there when he'd excused himself ten minutes ago.

"Yes, I- uh- yes. I'm good."

You blink at him, resuming your meal.

.

.

.