#this clip is so old but idc

[ddodol]

hi yall

[todayisafridaynight]

desperate to make a swearing compilation of Y7's eng dub

[seaside-lovers-archive]

popping in from the void rq to say i have two new unfortunate crushes. i know i have terrible taste, pls dont slaughter me 😔 okay goodbye now

[kxsagi]

𝟎𝟑. 𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨’ 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞

[twitch: chokiigan – 90.2k viewers] 

🎮 live now: “saint ego fumbled the bag (but maybe not?)” 

the stream opens to low-fi synth and the fuzzy outline of nagi, slouched in his gamer chair with half-lidded eyes and a pink strawberry milk box in hand. his mic’s a little too good, every sip sounds like a war crime. after a long, meditative pause, he sighs. 

"yeah, so... saint ego just did a full 360 nosedive straight into the dirt. absolute crashout. capital C. it’s like if radiohead and WWE had a baby and then left it unsupervised in a glass shop." 

he scratches his head, leans closer to the mic. 

“for those of you somehow still under a rock... their drummer livestreamed the lead singer and guitarist beefing like it was wrestlemania 2005. the internet exploded. their fans started choosing sides like it’s the hunger games. team isagi. team kaiser. meanwhile, shidou’s just tweeting thirst traps with saxophones like nothing happened. peak chaos. ten out of ten." 

the chat is already going feral. 

@egomaniac420: team kaiser 4l 🔥 

@isagibabe: isagi was right but also kaiser was hotter 

@shidouszn: nah shidou won by not even showing up lmaooo 

@broke4bachira: ngl this drama gave me life 

@yawnking69: justice 4 rin the bassist 😔 

nagi smirks. 

“but then... plot twist. they pulled a wild card. this just dropped on saint ego’s account earlier this morning when i was still sleeping." 

he pulls up the tweet on screen, enlarging it. 

"okay, hold on. that’s actually clean. like… suspiciously clean. this isn’t damage control. this is chess." 

he leans back dramatically. 

"this tweet has ‘PR intern who’s too hot for this job and too good at it' energy. like… this ain’t from the band. this is from someone with a spreadsheet, a crisis strategy, and serotonin levels i can only dream of." 

@k4iserkissedme: not the intern slaying 

@nagiinurheart: pr intern is the main character now idc 

@egogate_2025: y’all i heard they hired a marketing girl 👀 

@kaiserwifeyy: leak the doc i need drama in 4k 

@ego_goblin: she’s controlling the narrative and my heart tbh 

nagi pauses. finishes the last sip of his drink like it’s a toast. 

"so yeah. from 'crashout' to calculated comeback. if this doc hits the way i think it will, we might be watching the messiest band of 2025 rebrand themselves into legends. or at least into a netflix mini-series. either way, i’m watching." 

he shrugs. 

"back to minecraft. i’m emotionally invested, but i still have zombies to slay." 

the main studio room is becoming comfortable, the smell of faintly old vinyl and burnt dust from an overworked amp growing familiar. it’s not glamorous at the moment – a few burnt out studio spotlight lamps that need to be replaced, wires snaking across the floor like tripping hazards, and someone’s half-eaten convenience store onigiri is still sitting on top of a speaker. it’s the kind of space where people either make something honest or fall apart trying. 

karasu straddles a chair backwards, arms hanging loose over the backrest like he’s hosting an interrogation he doesn’t really want to be at. hiori stands a few feet away, fiddling with an old camcorder he found in some storage closet. his fingers move carefully, methodically, as if the act of setting things up is sacred. 

“you sure you wanna start it like this?” karasu asks, eyeing you from under his lashes. “no glam. no intro. just raw footage and a band that got publicly bodied by a livestream?” 

you shrug. you’re sitting on the floor, back to the wall, phone face-down beside you. nagi’s stream is still trending, clips already circulating. you're trying not to look at them. 

“if it feels too clean, it won’t land,” you say. “i want people to believe it before they judge it.” 

karasu hums, low and skeptical. “messy sells.” 

“i’m not trying to sell anything,” you say. “just... show them the whole story. let them decide.” 

the camcorder beeps softly. hiori shifts behind it, and the small red light clicks on – recording. he doesn’t announce it. he just lets the tape run. 

karasu raises an eyebrow and grins. “alright then. day one. operation: fix the band that broke itself.” 

“not fix,” you say, brushing hair out of your face. “just explain. or... try to.” 

karasu leans forward, elbows on the backrest. “you’re more optimistic than i thought. should’ve gone into politics.” 

“god, no.” 

that gets a quiet snort out of hiori. he stays behind the lens, zooming in slightly, catching the way your mouth curves, not quite a smile. you didn’t plan to be on camera, but here it is: the grainy warmth of tape rolling, the echo of your voice bouncing off cheap drywall. 

hiori murmurs, mostly to himself, “it already feels like a funeral tape.” 

karasu glances sideways at him, then back at you. “nah. more like the before part of a comeback montage.” 

the three of you sit in the quiet that follows. it’s not heavy. just full of things unsaid, of things waiting to be said. you glance at the lens. 

“you can cut this part out, right?” 

hiori doesn’t answer right away. then: “sure.” 

but he doesn’t stop recording. 

two days later, you’re shoulder to shoulder with hiori in the same room, a blanket thrown over both your laps like a shield against the outside world. the space is cluttered – empty cans on the windowsill, scribbled notes taped to the walls, the faint hum of the AC vent in the ceiling corner. hiori hits play, and the first episode starts rolling without fanfare, just a flicker of digital static and the soft hiss of camcorder audio. 

the opening shot is a mess of tangled black cables on the floor, half-buried under dust and forgotten picks. the camera lingers a second longer than expected, like it’s trying to find meaning in the chaos. then it cuts to a half-empty water bottle lying on its side, light refracting through the plastic and painting warped shapes on the concrete. a page of lyrics appears next – creased, smudged, and torn down the middle, taped back together with whatever someone had on hand. none of it is staged. none of it is beautiful. but it feels honest. 

you shift in your seat as the screen transitions to a wide shot of a beaten-up guitar case slouched against a wall, stickers peeling off like old skin. the name saint ego is barely visible, almost ashamed to still be clinging on. everything looks slightly too warm, the colors bleeding at the edges from the camera filter of the old camcorder. hiori had told you earlier he wanted it to feel like a found memory, like something pulled from the bottom of a drawer, warped by time and carelessness. 

the film grain is subtle but deliberate. little dust motes, faint hairline scratches, moments of flickering light that dance across the footage like ghosts. hiori watches all of it in silence, his face unreadable, hands hovering over the keyboard, but not touching anything. you can feel how much of himself he’s poured into it. not just editing. curating. shaping. breathing life into the fragments of a band most people think already flatlined. 

there’s no music yet. just ambient room tone – a distant cough, the buzz of an amp left on, the soft creak of someone shifting out of frame. it’s not dramatic. it’s not trying to be. it just is. 

he pauses on a frame without warning – a close-up of someone’s hand adjusting a mic stand, fingers wrapped in silver rings. the moment feels like a secret. a heartbeat caught in high definition. hiori glances at you, eyes dark behind his glasses. 

“too slow?” he asks quietly. 

you shake your head. “no. it’s perfect.” 

he nods, barely. then he presses play again. 

more footage filters in, stitched between the quiet static of the intro like memories caught by accident. the next clip finds isagi in the far corner of the studio, curled in on himself like he’s trying to disappear into the floor. his hood’s up as usual, shadows cloaking half his face, and earpods plugged in tight. the camera zooms slowly, carefully, like it doesn’t want to break whatever spell he’s under. 

his hand moves across a notebook in quick bursts, sharp and jagged, like the lyrics are coming faster than he can catch them. he doesn’t look up. doesn’t even blink. under the ambient hum, you can barely make out a voice, his voice, mumbling a melody under his breath so raw that it’s almost ghostly: i got goosebumps all over me… when you’re around… it’s hard for me to breathe. 

then it cuts to karasu hunched over his laptop, headphones crooked on one ear, eyes focused and sharp. he’s layering beats with that obsessive rhythm only he understands, muttering under his breath like the sounds might escape if he doesn’t trap them fast enough. the camera doesn’t get too close (probably out of fear), but it catches the way his fingers twitch when he’s deep in it, like he’s playing the drums and keyboard at once. the peace doesn’t last. 

off-screen, kaiser suddenly appears and tries to hijack the laptop mid-loop. karasu doesn’t even flinch. he just grabs the nearest broom and starts swinging like he’s defending sacred ground as an asiam mom. kaiser yells something unintelligible and sprints out of frame, cackling, the broom narrowly missing his head. the camera shakes with laughter. 

the next shot is bachira, sweaty and euphoric behind his drum kit, sticks twirling between his fingers like extensions of his hands. he’s mid-recording, lost in it, hair stuck to his forehead, mouth open in something between a grin and a snarl. the snare cracks like thunder, and just before the take ends, he flips both sticks, catches one, and chucks the other directly at the camera. it clatters off the lens. you hear a muffled gasp, then hiori screaming “bachira–!” before the audio cuts. 

shidou’s section is chaos wrapped in silk. he’s surrounded by glowing synths and tangled wires, body bouncing in time with a loop that sounds like a video game dying in slow motion. his eyes are too bright. his grin is too wide. he leans into the mic and says, “what if i added saxophone… for drama.” no one answers. no one stops him. the footage cuts just as he slams a key and a sax note shrieks into the mix like a demon being exorcised. 

then there’s rin. his shot is brief, but sharp, like a breath of cold air in the middle of a storm. he’s posted up against a wall near the studio entrance, sipping from a canned monster, watching the rest of the chaos through heavy-lidded eyes. airpods in, hoodie unzipped, the camera barely catches him mouthing along to something he’s listening to. he notices the camera eventually. doesn’t smile. just flips it off with two fingers, totally deadpan, then goes right back to playing on his bass. it’s so fast you’d miss it if you blinked. 

and finally, sae. he’s sitting at the edge of the madness with a fresh americano in hand, legs spread, watching everything unfold like it’s a soap opera and he’s been held hostage by choice. his sunglasses are still on, despite being indoors. someone behind the camera asks him something, probably about scheduling or sponsorships or whether the band has legally declared war on itself. sae takes a slow sip, deadpan, then mutters, “if one more of them calls me ‘dad,’ i’m quitting.” the clip ends there. perfectly timed. painfully relatable. 

the footage shifts – new lighting, golden and loose, like the camera’s exhaling. it’s their day off. no mics. no deadlines. just slow time in the mansion that barely contains them. 

in the kitchen, bachira flips pancakes while humming off-key and dancing in mismatched socks. “this batch is soul food,” he declares, “because i made it with my whole chest.” 

kaiser leans over the counter, sneaking chocolate chips from the bowl. “your chest tastes like baking soda,” he mutters. bachira throws a pancake at him. 

meanwhile, isagi’s dragging the giant beanbag into the middle of the living room like it’s a mission. “this is now the snack pit,” he announces, dumping chips and a two-liter soda in the center like tribute. “entry fee is a fun fact about yourself.” he climbs in with a dramatic flop and opens a bag of gummies with his teeth. 

shidou immediately dives in beside him. “i once ate raw squid on a dare and liked it,” he offers. 

isagi holds up a gummy like a mic. “weird, but valid.” 

outside, karasu lounges in a cutoff tank by the pool with his laptop, pretending he’s not mixing. 

“you’re literally muttering to yourself and dragging loops, bro,” you call from inside. “you’re not slick.” 

karasu doesn’t even look up. “this is my relaxation face,” he says flatly. 

sae sits under the umbrella with an americano and a crossword, peacefully tuned out until shidou cannonballs into the deep end, splashing half the patio. “you are so lucky this isn’t hot coffee,” sae says without moving, but he’s caught glancing down at his flip flops as if the idea of using them as discipline on a 22-year-old was tempting. 

rin’s here too, tragically. the camera finds him on the second-floor landing, crouched behind the railing with a book and a box of seaweed snacks like some kind of feral neighborhood cryptid. he’s wearing his noise-canceling airpods again, a shirt that says “no talk, only peace,” and glaring down at the chaos below like he’s the upstairs landlord. someone off-screen yells, “rin, come vibe!” rin shouts back: “i’d rather eat shit!” 

later, they’re crowded around the dining table playing a board game none of them fully understands. 

“bachira, i swear to the heavens, if you add another fake card to your hand…” karasu threatens, hand hovering near the edge of the table. 

“i’m not cheating!” bachira laughs. “i’m creatively strategizing.” 

isagi’s crying from laughter, face red, trying to read the rulebook aloud, but tripping over the text. “you literally have five ‘get out of jail free’ cards,” he wheezes. “it’s monopoly, not god mode.” 

sae sighs. “juvenile energy,” he says, but this time there’s a faint smile. 

you’re caught in frame from the hallway, holding a mug and shaking your head as you watch them spiral. hiori zooms in just enough to catch your grin and to hold on to the moment. 

the whole sequence breathes. it’s messy. it’s loud. it’s warm. the kind of footage that feels like home, like friendship that’s survived too many late-night arguments and still circles back to board games and beanbags and pancakes on off-days. the band isn’t saint ego here, they’re just the boys. 

but then a fight starts over something stupid. it always does. 

someone left the studio fridge open again. kaiser’s protein shake leaked everywhere. isagi’s the first person he sees when he walks in, towel slung around his neck, earpods in, humming the same hook he’s been looping all week. kaiser’s jaw clenches. 

“you seriously can’t close a fridge?” 

isagi pulls one earbud out. “you think i touched your weird milk sludge?” 

“it’s called a shake. you’d know if you actually worked out instead of pacing around like a starving poet.” 

isagi stands. “you wanna talk about working out? your ego lifts more than you do.” 

the air shifts. rin, lying on the floor with a guitar in his lap, doesn’t even blink. he just exhales through his nose and flips a page in his notebook. 

kaiser steps closer. “say that again.” 

“what, ‘ego’? or ‘starving poet’? maybe ‘deadweight in eyeliner’?” isagi says, mocking now, but the hurt’s under his tone. 

kaiser’s smirk disappears. “you’re still pissed about the livestream? seriously? grow up. people saw the truth. not my fault you cracked.” 

“you threw me under the bus in front of the entire fandom,” isagi says, voice low now. “and then acted like it was my mess to fix.” 

you walk in mid-sentence, sensing the tension like static in the air. kaiser’s jaw is tight, isagi’s fists are clenched, and the air is seconds from breaking. 

“hey,” you say firmly, stepping between them, one hand out. “whatever this is? it’s not worth it. not here.” 

kaiser backs off first, scoffing, turning his shoulder. “whatever.” 

isagi lingers for half a second longer before dragging in a breath and walking out of the room. 

later, the camcorder catches kaiser in the upstairs bathroom, door cracked just slightly. he’s pacing, wired from the argument. he looks in the mirror like he’s trying to see something different in his own reflection. fingers run through his hair, then tug. 

then the punch lands – loud, fast, sharp. the marble sink rattles. 

“he always acts like he’s better than me…” he mutters, voice cracking more than he means it to. he doesn’t know hiori’s still rolling behind the camcorder, tucked out of view in the hallway. 

across the house, isagi slams his bedroom door. the camera cuts to him seated at the mic, trying to record vocal takes. again. again. and again. his voice is strained now, not raw in a good way, but like he’s using the hook to scream something he can’t say. 

he stops mid-chorus. throws the headphones across the room. they bounce off the wall. his footsteps are heavy as he storms out. you find him outside, under the deck light, hands on his hips like he’s trying to hold himself together. 

“i shouldn’t have to apologize to him,” he says before you even speak. 

“maybe,” you say gently, “but you always try to control everything. maybe kaiser’s not the only one with an ego problem.” 

he huffs a bitter laugh, looking off toward the trees. 

“this isn’t about blame,” you add, softer now. “this is about the fact that this band doesn’t work without both of you. and if you let your pride get in the way, if you keep picking at each other like this, you’re gonna destroy something that actually matters.” 

isagi doesn’t answer right away. the wind moves through the branches above you, rustling just enough to fill the silence. 

“i just… i don’t know how to not fight with him,” he admits finally, voice quieter now. “we’re wired like this.” 

“then rewire it,” you say. “before there’s nothing left to fix.” 

he nods once, jaw tight, and you can tell he’s turning it over in his head. maybe not ready to act on it yet. but listening. 

the camera lingers on him, half-lit by the porch light. not angry anymore. just tired. 

and under all that, still trying. 

the studio lights are dimmed to a warm hush, just the glow of the laptop screen casting soft shadows across your face as you finish previewing the first episode. your finger hovers above the “publish” button like it might bite. hiori’s next to you, slouched in the rolling chair, silently peeling the label off his water bottle. 

“you okay?” he asks, barely above a whisper. 

you nod, but it’s the kind of nod that feels more like bracing for impact. your stomach’s doing that thing again, tight and traitorous. 

“it’s raw,” you murmur. “too raw, maybe.” 

“that’s why it’s good,” hiori says, eyes still on the screen. “you made something real.” 

you inhale, hold it, exhale. then you click publish. 

it’s out. episode one is live. no turning back. 

hiori leans back in his chair and grins, slow and sleepy. “guess we’re public now.” 

the hallway’s quiet later that night, everyone tucked into corners of the studio or passed out for the night. you find kaiser on the rooftop, arms draped over the railing, cigarette burning down slow between two fingers. he doesn’t look back when you step out, but you know he hears you. 

“you know those’ll kill you,” you say gently. 

“yeah,” he mutters. “i’m not an addict, but add it to the list.” 

the air is cooler out here, the kind that wraps around your skin and makes silence feel deeper. you lean next to him, not too close. not yet. 

“the episode’s out,” you say after a beat. 

he flicks ash into the night. “i saw.” 

“... you okay?” 

he gives you a crooked smile, the kind that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “define 'okay.'” 

you don’t push. instead, you just let it hang there, between you and the dark. after a while, he speaks again. softer this time. 

“i hate that he gets to me,” he admits. “isagi. he… digs under my skin and lives there.” 

“because you care what he thinks,” you say, watching him. “and that scares you.” 

kaiser turns to you at that. not defensive. not angry. just looking. really looking. 

“you always do that,” he says. “show up when i don’t ask.” 

you raise a brow. “i can stop.” 

“no,” he says, too fast. then quieter, “don’t.” 

there’s a beat of silence, stretched thin. he watches you, eyes sharper now, like he’s working something out in his head. then he pushes off the railing and circles slowly to your side, not close enough to touch, but closer than before. 

“you know,” he says, voice low, “you have this habit of showing up exactly when i’m about to spiral. like clockwork.” 

you give a small smile. “maybe you’re just predictable.” 

he huffs a laugh, but there’s no real amusement in it. his gaze drops to your mouth for half a second too long. his jaw tenses. 

“if i did something reckless right now,” he murmurs, “would you stop me?” 

your lips part, but before you can speak, the rooftop door creaks open behind you. someone else steps out. 

kaiser’s jaw tightens. his eyes flick over your shoulder. 

“of course,” he mutters. “perfect timing.” 

masterlist | ch. 02 | ch. 04

taglist (closed): @nensi @ro4love @avaxoxo13 @levisgoonerr @jnkosstuff @simpingmyassoff @sunsettsguitar @trinkets-of-time @cinneorolls @silverwings920 @mymeloreo @satorella @gkattdoesstuff @lovingmayday @pixelpancakes @vverie @nicfics @nevvynev @astro-3000 @mihyas-dieehefrau @i-eve-i @ohagiyoo @aadahyax @yumerinns @rie-cecooker @neeeooon @laylaandsstuff @irethepotato @byzantiumhollow @luvsymai @blu3-l0v3r @kiritokunuwu @anaxugoras @yxnnu @academiq @jaeyuuns @x3nafix @sukunaspillow @sasukevrz @anyaslittlepeanut @yunsspace @gurehai @chiieni @6riix @miiyabi @2ukika @ventivente @heartsforfeitan @kai-wavesii-blog @iqxatlantic

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[botchedsundoll]

L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)

ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; general relationship/ domestic hc’s

ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none!

ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; hi giys my requests r open😝 request please… pls☹️, idc if some of these r ooc in my world they are very much in character i love them all so much oh my god, didn’t include much abt their jobs bcos i wany thrm all to be happy okay..

C. OLIVEIRA

have you seen them photos of them big beefy scary men underneath like thick hello kitty or very feminine blankets? yeah that’s him

SNORES. SNORES SO LOUDLY. he wraps his arms around you instinctively at night and his grip is so tight you genuinely can’t escape his warmth or snoring

on the topic of that, he runs warm. he’s a genuine heater in winter - cold? cuddle up to him, saving money on the heating. win win!

whenever he comes home from the gym or wherever and he spots you watching one of your shows on the tv, he’ll stand behind the couch and watches it himself before eventually sitting down besides you. he can’t help it

every friday IS date night. whether that be something as simple as dinner at home together or something as extravagant as going to a fancy restaurant, the two of you are spending time together. he will make sure of that

going off of my previous hc’s, he can’t bake for life of him. cooking he’s rather okay-ish with all the simple stuff but baking? alone? absolutely not

the two of you decided to bake something for one of your date nights once. you asked him to pour flour and cocoa powder into the wet ingredients and turn the mixer on - he forgot to put the splashguard on and turned it right up to the fastest setting

safe to say your kitchen, and carlos, looked as if they’d just came out of winter wonderland

gives off the biggest girl dad vibes. just imagine him letting his little girl put random clips and bows in his hair jshwiaianwi omg

he has such a soft spot for strays. has genuinely brought home a puppy before because he saw it laying out by the dumpster before and couldn’t leave it alone

he’s all over you. CONSTANTLY. arm over your shoulder, hand on your hip. he can’t get enough of you

L. KENNEDY

he wakes up a few minutes earlier than he actually needs to (when he does actually fall asleep) just stare at you and how peace you look asleep

you’ve asked him to help you with your hair so many times to the point he’s genuinely become an absolute professional at it. the moment you give him that look he tells you to turn around and starts working his magic

keeps photos of you in his wallet, he knows deep down its rather risky but can’t help himself

in the instances that he does fall asleep before you (extremely rare) and you cuddle up against his side, his arm automatically wraps around you. it’s like muscle memory at this point

has your name engraved into his key chain on his keys

ALWAYS helps out with dinner whenever he’s home, despite you constantly telling him to get the fuck out and relax for a bit. ends up in him dancing with you in the kitchen

his showers are like, the ideal temperature- perfect for you to just hop in with him. he never minds and rather welcomes it

ALWAYS SURPRISES YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!! goes absolutely FULL out, waking you up with kisses on your shoulder, an expensive outfit you’ve had your eye on for a while, extravagant dinner and a nice little stroll in the park at night. switches it up every year so you never know what’s coming

has you as his emergency contact for sure

plays old rock songs in the car. causes you to make fun of him and call him an old american dad - even though you definitely don’t actually like the song. definitely

C. REDFIELD

i just KNOW this man can be out sass you during arguements. growing up with claire certainly prepared him for that

he’s gone quite most of the time, so he makes sure to spend as much time as possible with you whenever he can

recently saw this thing where it was an ex military with his kids, where he’s shouting out orders like a drill sergeant during bath time. chris. it just screams chris.

— “I’M PUTTING SHAMPOO IN YOUR HAIR, DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

— “OK!”

just imagine hearing that every time it’s his turn with bath time. just constant giggles and shouts (if there r kids ofc)

you and claire are CLOSE. chris has made sure of that, definitely introduced you two once he knew it was getting serious

regrets it at times, as whenever something happens at home with the two of you - no matter how stupid the arguement may hve been claire is always the first to know. and always the first to knock some sense into her brother

wears hawaiian dad shirts in summer. for a fact.

like carlos, runs SO WARM. feels as though he’s an actual bear and has genuine fur on him keeping him so warm

sleeps flat on his back, arms by his sides. usually a very light sleeper but at times absolutely nothing will wake him up. you’re free to roll around all over him, strew your legs out over him and he’ll simply stay lying on his back like always. hands by his sides and the only indication of him actually being alive being the rise and fall of his chest

his appetite is absolutely outrageous. you best believe whatever you make is being absolutely devoured, he loves your cooking. sometimes all he needs is some home cooked dinner to put a smile on his face

he will genuinely let you do almost anything to him. you wanna massage his back? sure. do a face mask on him? alright, but no photos. wax a patch of hair on his leg? did it before, never letting you do it again. he has a hard time saying no to you - he’s lost too much people, he needs to make the most of his time with you

[silentglassbreak]

hi bestie is it too late to request? you said you liked writing angst, well, i love reading it 💔💔painfully unrequited love!!!!! gimme gimme

friends with benefits with (overly affectionate!!!!) Noah and reader who falls sick to her stomach head over heels in love with him. blurring the lines between sex and love.

going to a bad omens concert however long after and it’s like they’re strangers oOF rip my heart out and stomp on it idc. been listening to Novocaine on a loop all day. i’m not okay

feel to totally disregard if you’re not feeling it angel <33 thank you bby I love your writing 🥺🥺

Angst............. UGH I've been WAITING babes. My goal is to rip your heart out...fair fucking warning. MMMLOVEYOUUUUU. After Writing Notes: I'm the actual worst. I hope you don't hate it!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, heartbreak, lots and lots of angst

Can You Feel My Heart

Love languages are such a strange concept, aren't they? That seems to be a fairly new idea that someone came up with in the last decade or so?

If you like to buy love...your love language is gifting.

If you can't communicate well...your love language is affection.

If the only way you know how to show feelings is with sex...your love language is intimacy.

At what point are we allowed to call someone out for being a dick? At what point are we allowed to confront the fact that someone is skipping around the idea of commitment, and ask them to just admit what they really want?

This wasn't the first time these thoughts had danced around my head, in the wee hours of the morning, while Noah's arm laid heavy across my waist, him snoozing behind me.

Noah and I had been friends since we were seven years old. We met on the playground at the park in the center of the neighborhood of our small town in West Virginia. He told me he liked my butterfly hair clips, and I let him have the blue one. He wore it in his hair every day for three weeks.

He grew up in a broken home, only his Mom around most of his years, and even then - that relationship was...strained. So many nights he had snuck into my bedroom window, curling up next to me, tears free falling down his cheeks. We never talked about why, but it didn't take a psychic to figure it out.

He moved in with his Grandmother when he was fourteen, and even though he lived in the next town over, he still made it a point to take the city bus to me every day after school, even when he dropped out.

We were never more than twin flames, incapable of existing without each other, moral support for the other during any type of hardship. Looking back, I guess that was what built our serious dependence issues.

"I can't live without you, Y/N. I'll die if I ever lose you."

"No you won't Noah, don't be stupid."

He was stupid. As stupid as they come, because when I turned eighteen, and started college, he had paid one of his friends to drive him all the way up to Columbus to see me. He showed up at the door of my dorm, drunk and broken, blathering on about how only having been away from me for a week had killed him, and he needed to see me.

That was the first night he kissed me, and I let him.

As most people do when having grown up with someone so closely, I had developed an attachment to Noah very early on. I first recognized it when he turned twelve, and started skateboarding. He would insist on trying to teach me how, despite my undeniable clumsiness. His hands would grip my hips, his face so close to my ear, and his chest pressed to my back. He would talk in this deep voice, his puberty hitting early. I was awe-struck.

He was my best friend, sure. But he belonged to me, that's what he always said.

Even when he had girlfriends, I always came first. Dates would get cancelled for me; plans changed. Hell, he even blew off one girl whose birthday fell on the same day as mine. I was his priority. I was his person.

So when he leaned in to me, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the dorm, liquor stained-breath against my face, I just closed my eyes and let it happen.

He spent the night with me, and had to leave early. Vowing to come back, he never broke his word.

There he was the following weekend, sober this time, with snacks, DVDs, and a week’s worth of clothes. I managed to hide him in my room for four days before the dorm advisor caught him.

The second day he was there was the first time we had sex. I was a virgin, and he was not. That hurt me, sure. Not enough to deny him what was rightfully his. I belonged to Noah, body and soul. He took his time, walked me through it, and gave me the best possible experience I could expect. It hurt, and it was weird, but a sense of relief washed over me.

We had finally crossed that threshold. We had sex three times that week, until he was forced to leave.

That's when the words left his mouth.

"We need to talk."

That conversation broke something inside of me. He loved me, but he didn't love me. He was honored to have been allowed to give me something so meaningful, but he could never see me as more than his best friend. Our friendship was too important, and he wouldn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of jeopardizing that. He had made up his mind, and he couldn't have feelings for me.

It was with the heaviest heart imaginable, I sucked back my tears, painted an easy smile on my face, and held his hands in mine.

"I totally understand, Noah. No worries! We can just have fun, you know?"

And that was it. We were stuck in this sick, frozen place for the last two years. I was about to finish my Associates in Columbus, and hoped to become pre-med at Boston U, but Noah didn't know that yet. I could never figure out how to tell him.

Noah Davis was this heavy, bright flame that I was desperately afraid to extinguish. He had formed a band right after our arrangement began, and he was twenty-four hours away from leaving on their first major tour that would take him around the entire country, and then across the Atlantic to Europe.

How could I tell him that while he was gone, I was likely moving even further, and starting my life without him?

I didn't want to live without him, but he was leaving, and I couldn't sit and wait forever...

I breathed out a sigh, the light beginning to stream in the window of my one-bedroom apartment. He needed to wake up, drive home, and make sure he was ready to leave tomorrow. It was only 6AM, so I knew he'd be cranky, but I couldn't put this off any longer.

“Noah?” I breathed out his name. He groaned in response. “You’ve got to get up. You have to get ready to head home.”

"Mm, ten more minutes." I rolled my eyes, and began sliding out from underneath him.

His arm locked, and held me in place. I giggled, and saw as he turned his face, one eye cracking open. "Don't get up. It's too early."

I narrowed my eyes. "I have class at 8AM."

Noah used his strength against me, pulling my body to him and holding me tight so I couldn't get up. This only made me laugh louder.

"You don't need to get up for another hour."

"Not if I want to shower."

He sighed into the pillow. "So crazy, cause I don't think you do."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you've got to get home. Nick will kill us both if you're not ready in time."

"I'm not scared of her." He smirked, and I smacked his arm.

"Shut up. And get off me!"

He stuck his bottom lip out, pouting heavily.

"Not going to work. C'mon." I wriggled hard enough to break his grip, and sat up, stretching my arms over my head. He sat up as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

I pulled a robe over myself, turning to look at him as he scrolled through his phone, checking messages.

"Coffee?" I asked, and he threw a thumbs up at me.

I left the room, headed for the kitchen, trying to keep my breathing even. I had very little time left.

Filling the pot with water, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, his face burying in my neck.

"I don't want to go. I'm going to miss you so much."

I leaned into the touch, taking anything I could at this point. "I know. I'll miss you more."

He scoffed. "Not a chance."

Holding me for a few more moments, he let go to head to the fridge, pulling out the bagels and cream cheese, and plopping down at the dining table. I continued my work of preparing our coffee.

"Hey, uh," I started, keeping my voice as calm as I could. "there's something I wanted to chat with you about."

I turned around, two hot mugs in my hand. He was spreading the cream on a bagel, already having prepared one for me. I sat next to him at the table.

"What's up?" He didn't look up at me.

"I told you I had been trying to decide where to start medical school?" He just nodded in response. "Well, I find out today if I got into Boston."

He halted, his eyes snapping up to me. "Boston?"

I took a sip of coffee. "They've got the best med program on the East coast-"

He cut me off. "Since when were you looking on the East coast?"

His tone was darkening. This was going to go about as well as I expected.

"Since I realized I had a chance. Noah, my GPA and scholar program gives me a real shot."

He grit his teeth, setting his bagel down. "Boston is far, Y/N."

I kept calm, setting my mug down as well. "I know."

"So, why would you want to be so far away?"

"Well, you're going far too, Noah. Your first show is in San Diego."

He sat back in his chair. "Yeah, but the last one puts me right back here in Columbus for a month before I go overseas."

I nodded. "I know. I'll still be here, then. You get back six weeks before the end of the semester."

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't go to Boston."

There was a finality to his tone, and something about it made my insides flinch with irritation.

"Oh no? And if I do?"

"You can't."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Can't? And since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?"

He rolled his eyes, standing from the table and walking over to the trash, binning the half of his bagel he didn't eat. "We can't be that far away from each other."

Lifting my eyebrows, I stood as well, crossing my arms. "And why is that, Noah?"

He leaned back against the counter. "Y/N, you know why."

"What? So you have someone to fuck whenever you want? Whenever one of your little groupies isn't around?"

His eyes popped open, then. "What?"

"You heard me." My tone was deadly, matching my stare at him.

"You really think the only reason I want you close is because of the sex?" He seemed truly stunned.

"Well, why else would you want me around?" I threw my hands up, walking back down the hallway toward my bedroom. I could hear his footfall behind me. I just continued, stepping into the closet to get dressed.

"What is that supposed to mean? I always want you around."

Rolling my eyes, I clasped my bra on and popped my head out to look at him. "Noah, I'm convenient for you. Unless you have any other valid reasons to keep coming over, I don't know why else it matters."

His jaw dropped open. "That is not true."

Pulling my shirt on, I scoffed. "Please, dude. Spare me the act, okay?"

"What act?"

I pulled my jeans on, buttoning them before stepping out to face him again. "The 'you're my person, and I can't lose you' act." I quoted myself. Something about that pissed him off, because he crossed his own arms and stared me down.

"The fuck are you getting at, Y/N?"

I shook my head, brushing past him, and walked toward the bathroom.

"Noah," I turned to look directly at him. "we've been at this for years. It's kind of old, don't you think?"

His face softened slightly. "We had an agreement."

I nodded. "You're right, we did. Just sex, for the sake of our friendship. That's what you wanted."

"I thought that's what we wanted."

Waving a hand between us, I took a step toward him. "Oh no, Noah. That's what you wanted. Not me."

He was silent, then.

"I wanted more. I always have. I thought that had become clear over the years, but I fucking guess not." I could hear my voice raising a few octaves. "You didn't give me a choice. You came in, broke that boundary, and then put it right back up again. And I stayed, just so I wouldn't lose you."

I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.

His voice came out small, then, his hands now buried in his pockets.

"What do you want from me, Y/N?"

I sighed, letting one tear escape. "I want you to love me."

He pulled his hands out, stepping toward me and taking one of mine. I let him.

"I do love you!"

I stared at him, my teeth ground together. "Do you? The way I love you?"

Noah was a lot of things. He was brilliant, funny, generous, dedicated. He had the most redeeming qualities of anyone I knew.

And sure, he could be stupid. But not that stupid.

He had known how I felt about him. Of course he did. That was why I kissed him every chance I got. Why I always let him in. Why I never dated anyone else. Why I stayed all this time.

But here? In this moment? He was the biggest idiot I knew, because he dropped my hand, his eyes falling with it, and took a step backward.

"I..." He huffed out a breath, looking back up at my tear-stained face. "I can't. I'm sorry."

I averted my eyes, then. I could feel myself breaking, crumbling right before him.

"You need to leave, Noah."

I could feel he wanted to pull back to me, like a moon in orbit of a planet. Gravity. But he didn't. He just stepped back toward the doorway.

"What does this mean?" I heard his voice, but wouldn't meet his eyes.

I sniffed hard, trying like hell to keep myself upright.

"It means you go on tour. Be who you are, Noah. And I'll be who I am. Without each other."

His body shifted, but I was stone, unmoving.

"I can't lose you." I heard him let out a light, sarcastic laugh. "I'll die."

I let myself laugh at that.

"No you won't, Noah. Don't be stupid."

7 Years Later

Residency is going to kill me. I may actually die in pursuit of this God awful career I've chosen. I was three years in to a five year program, intending to finish in General Practice, but until that time, I was just an idiotic twenty-seven year-old with no life, no sleep, and no clean fucking clothes to wear.

Every resident gets exactly forty-eight hours of paid time off every three months, and I had not taken mine in over a year. I finally had taken all of my hours - six days total - off of work, and after spending the entire first day sleeping, I was due to meet with Raylene in an hour.

Ray and I met at the beginning of residency, and quickly gotten close. We managed to find an affordable apartment together within walking distance of the hospital, and spent any rare free time we had together. She was currently at her boyfriend's place, spending some much needed time with him, before we went out for the evening.

I was digging through my unfolded laundry, trying to find something not too wrinkled or stained to wear tonight. Ray had told me we were going to a concert for a band she had recently discovered, but she didn't tell me who it was. I didn't care, to be honest. Existing somewhere other than the Emergency Room or my own bed sounded heavenly.

Finally settling on a deep red cropped t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and the Vans I rarely got to wear, I straightened my hair and applied what little makeup I could. I set out of the building to the waiting vehicle downstairs, Ray practically hanging from the passenger window.

"You look so fine!"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Sure. Like I might've slept in the last two weeks?"

She chortled back at me, leaning in her seat once I was in the car. I waved hello to her boyfriend Sean, and gazed at Ray.

"So, Tyler isn't coming."

She frowned at me. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "Said he had a case he was working on, and he really couldn't spare the time."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical lawyer. Too busy for anyone but his clients."

Tyler and I had been dating for about six months now. Maintaining a relationship while having jobs as busy as ours was difficult, but he somehow managed to work it out. He would pop in when he knew I had breaks to bring me food, or have me spend nights off at his place, massaging my neck and helping me get caught up on my favorite series. He was an honest man. A good man.

I liked him.

Right?

It's so hard to tell what's like and what's convenient when you live your life exhausted and overworked, so I didn't have a lot of time to question it.

"Bummer for him. I'm so excited to see this show!" Ray was beaming in the front seat.

"Yeah, who are we seeing, anyway?"

"A band called ERRA. They're opening for a bigger headliner, who I've heard are pretty good too."

I nodded. "I've never heard them."

"It's rock. Metal, really." Sean chimed in, and I acknowledged him silently, looking out of the window.

My mind zoned out while we drove to the House of Blues. Ray and Sean chatted idly up front, but I was just enjoying the fact that I was finally out of the house for once.

That is, until we walked into the venue. The banner poster stared at me, the photographs of the band mocking me...

Bad Omens...they were the headliner.

Memories flooded back to my brain, my insides clenching at the visions.

I hadn't spoken to him since that day...that last day in my apartment. When he left, and never looked back. I didn't even keep in touch with the rest of the guys, for fear that I would be sucked back into the maelstrom that was Noah Davis...

“Y/N?” I turned to see Ray stood behind me, noticing my reaction. “You okay?”

My mind wasn’t comprehending what I was seeing. There’s no way that was them? The last time I had heard of the band, they were one-of-four supporting bands on much larger headliners. Now, they were selling out tickets at their own tour? Seven years was a long time…but how had they gotten this popular?

I wondered this, as if I didn’t know how wildly talented those boys were. Aside from Noah, Nicky, Jolly, and Nick Folio were some of the most intelligent and creative minds I had known. They all brought something special to that band, but I would have never expected this.

Huh. Guess he could live without me after all?

Something bitter crept into the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down, staring at his photograph on the poster.

“Yeah,” I tore my eyes away for a second to look at Raylene. “sorry, I’m fine. Just didn’t realize Bad Omens was the headliner.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve heard of them?”

I pulled my lips to the side. Did I want to tell her?

“Long time ago.”

I couldn’t get past how different he looked in the picture. Last time I saw Noah, his hair was halfway down his back, he was skinny, and he had the thinnest little mustache growing on his upper lip.

In these promo pictures, however, his hair was short, not even reaching his ears, he looked much more muscular, and he had no facial hair. He also had many more tattoos than I remembered. That wasn’t surprising. Noah was a tattoo addict from a very young age.

Jolly had let his hair grow and had the cutest goatee on his chin. Nicky looked almost exactly the same. And Nick, bless his heart, had grown into such a handsome guy. They all looked so grown, so serious and broody. It almost made me giggle, knowing how goofy these guys were in real life.

Noah looked the most stunningly different from the rest. Not only did his entire appearance change, but his eyes…something in them was just so much darker. That harsh flame I had once known was so dim. It almost hurt to see. Almost.

We were making our way out to the pit of the GA floor. I had decided to get myself a cocktail to take the edge off. I didn't plan to come face-to-face with him, and likely wouldn't even get the opportunity to get a good look at him period, but still...just knowing we were in the same room made my throat tighten. I washed it down with Vodka and cranberry juice, hoping the warmth of the liquor would unfreeze my nerves.

The first band, Invent Animate, was entertaining enough. Very interactive with the crowd and high-energy. I found it pleasant, but couldn't get myself to focus long enough to notice what they were singing about. I struggled to breathe, the set ending, and knowing I was one hour closer to seeing his face.

During the intermission, Ray excused herself to the restroom, and I stood with Sean, feeling dizzier as the moments passed.

"Hey, I think I'm going to step out for a second. Get some air."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You okay? Want me to come with?"

I shook my head. "Nah, don't want you to miss the band you guys came to see. I'll be back."

He nodded, patting me on the shoulder before I weaved in and out of the crowd. I discarded my plastic cup in a trash can before exiting out into the main lobby. I found a spot on the wall near the doors that was unoccupied, and leaned against it, letting my eyes close and my breathing even out.

When I opened my eyes, I searched the room, looking for nothing specific. I landed on the merch tables, and saw someone oddly familiar talking to the lead singer of the last band we had watched...

The liquid courage is what carried me in that direction, smiling to myself.

He stood with his hair pulled back, as usual, and was talking with his hands. Same as he always did.

"Nicky Ruffilo..." I said loud enough to hopefully catch his attention, my hands now grasping the edge of the table.

His head snapped over to look at me, his brows knit together curiously. I could tell he was putting it together.

"No fucking way..." His voice sounded the same as it always had. "Y/N?!"

My teeth flashed at him, and he circled the table to approach me, his arms pulling me into a tight hug.

"Jesus Christ, I didn't recognize you!" That was fair.

Since the last time I had seen any of the guys, I had bleached my hair a pale blonde, lost twenty-five pounds, and had grown two cup sizes. I was, for all intents and purposes, an entirely different person.

"Yeah, well I absolutely recognized you." I said as I gripped his shirt, squeezing him tight.

"How long has it been?" He asked, pulling back to look at me.

"Uh," I thought for a moment. "seven-ish years?"

Nick's eyes were in disbelief, an amazed leer on his face. "God damn, girl. I can't believe it."

I pointed to the banner above his head. "Headlining now, huh? That's amazing!"

He smiled, proudly. "Yeah, we've worked really hard. A lot's changed."

My eyes fell on Noah's face on the poster. "I can see that."

I could tell he was pondering, a question hanging on the edge of his tongue. It was the most obvious question, so I answered for him.

"He doesn't know I'm here."

He nodded, leaning an arm on the table comfortably. "Ah, okay. You didn't want him to?"

I snorted. "I didn't even know I'd be here. My friends came to see ERRA, and that's when I realized you guys were here."

"Makes sense." He had crossed his arms. "Do you want him to know?"

Contemplating this, I let my face fall to get away from his gaze. I wasn't certain how to answer that, but it seemed like the answer was clear regardless.

"No." I sighed hard. "It's probably for the best that he doesn't, right?"

I couldn't read Nick's face, if he was disappointed or relieved. He seemed to be pretty satisfied with my answer, but I could tell he had more he wished he could say.

"Fair enough." Was all he gave me, before letting out a breath. "So, you still live up here?"

I let my muscles relax for a second. "Yeah, doing a residency at Brigham right now."

"Residency? Does that mean you're a doctor?" He asked, clearly confused.

I cackled at this. "Yeah, full blown doctor. Got the little 'MD' after my name and everything."

He beamed at me. "That's so great! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Nicky." It fell quiet between us once again, and I could hear ERRA's set beginning. "Well, I should probably-"

He spoke over me. "Yeah! Those guys put on a great show. Don't miss it!"

I gave him another hug, reveling in how warm he still felt.

Turning to walk away, I stopped, needing one last thing...

"Nick?"

His face turned back to me.

"How is he?"

I could see the sadness fall over his tan features, and I instantly regretted asking.

"He's..." He trailed off, taking in a large breath. "He's different, Y/N. I doubt you'd recognize him."

"How so?"

Something about my question almost seemed to annoy him. Odd?

"Like I said, a lot has changed. He's changed. He had to." He gestured to me. "Same way you did."

I accepted this, not wanting to press any further. "Thanks, Nick."

He pointed a finger at me. "Hey, we're going to be back here in the fall for a couple days. Don't be a stranger, okay?" I grinned at this. "I know Jolly and Folio would kill to see you."

I just nodded, turning and walking away. My eyes met with Ray's, who was standing, watching my interaction. How much had she seen? Did she hear anything?

"Hey, what are you doing? You're missing ERRA!"

Her brows were pulled up suspiciously. "Who was that?" She pointed after Nick, who had now disappeared from the merch table.

I shook my head. "Oh, that guy? He's the bassist in the headliner band."

This wasn't good enough for her, I could tell by the way she pursed her lips. "Uh-huh. And...you just decided to chat him up like old friends?"

I groaned. "Ugh, how long were you standing there?"

She put all her weight on one hip. "Long enough to see you two talking like you've known each other before. Care to explain?"

Raylene was so nosey. She came by it honestly, her father being a police detective. But still, why did this matter?

"It's not a big deal, Ray. I'll tell you later."

I pulled on her arm, trying to lead her back to the concert hall, but she stood firm, eyeing me. I sucked my teeth in frustration.

"Damn it, alright, come here."

She followed me to the doors leading outside, and we stepped into the cool air.

"Alright, look, I've known Nick since I was ten."

Her eyes jumped. "Oh? Back in West Virginia?"

I nodded. "Exactly. I had no idea their band was going to be here."

"Do you know anyone else in the band?"

I glanced around, feeling wildly uncomfortable by the conversation.

"I may know the entire band."

Her eyes exploded, nearly shooting out of her face cartoonistically.

"What?! The whole band?" I just nodded. "Jesus, Y/N. That's insane!"

I giggled. "I guess. It's just a coincidence."

She smiled at me. "Well that's awesome! Do you want to see the rest of them after? They're doing a free merch signing."

Panic filled my chest, and I put a hand out to grab her shoulder. "No, no. I don't, uh..." I tried to keep my voice solid. "I don't keep in touch with them anymore."

Her eyes narrowed. "Oh? Okay, if you're sure." Something in my voice must have made her feel my anxiety.

We turned, ready to make our way back inside.

"It is too bad. The lead singer's a real looker. I heard one of the girls in the crowd say his name was Noah Sebastian? He's pretty cute."

I almost walked straight into the door, my foot banging off of the pillar. Ray turned around to see me, and something about the look on my face made realization flash over her.

"Oh my God, are you ok-" She stopped dead, eyes widening again. "Wait..."

"Ray, don't." I knew what she had figured out.

"Noah..." I put my hands up, glancing around to ensure no one was looking at us. "As in...Noah? Your old best friend?!"

I shushed her harshly. "Please, Ray. I don't want to think about this."

"That's the guy?! Noah Sebastian is the guy that broke your heart?!"

I was going to actually vomit at that.

"Fuck! Can we not?!" I raised my voice, which made her snap her mouth closed. "Besides, I don't know a Noah Sebastian."

She looked confused. "Is that not his real name?"

I rolled my eyes, turning to walk back in. "It's his middle name."

I spaced out most of what was left of ERRA's set, just trying to put the pieces back together in my brain. This night had not turned into what I had hoped.

I just wanted one night, an easy night, to take a deep breath away from my hectic life. Instead, I was reliving some of my most painful memories, and had a headache to go right along with it from the alcohol. My chest vibrated, the bass just making it so much more difficult to focus.

I stood off of the GA floor, near the bar area, not even realizing the band had finished, and people were swarming to grab drinks and use the restrooms before the men of the evening appeared. Ray approached me, another Vodka cran in her hand, and pushed it into mine.

"Here my love, drink this." I took a long gulp of it. "Do you want us to go? We don't have to stay..."

My eyes were fixed on the stage, where I could see people setting up the equipment. "No." I huffed out a breath, and squeezed my cup. "No, I want to see them play, I think."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're sure? This can't be easy for you."

My eyes burned into her face, which almost made her flinch. "I may never get to see him again, Ray. I have to."

She just nodded, arm linking with mine. "You want to watch from up here?"

I nodded, crunching on a piece of ice from my drink. "No chance of him spotting me back here."

She affirmed my request, and leaned back against the wall with me.

I felt my phone vibrate, and I pulled it from my pocket to see Tyler's name on the screen.

Tyler: Hey beautiful! How's the show?

I held my breath. What kind of a question was that?

Me: Fine. Almost over, just one band left.

He didn't take but a minute to respond.

Tyler: Having fun?

Ha, what a joke.

Me: Yeah. I've had some drinks, so it's helping.

Tyler: Well, enjoy it baby! You deserve it.

That wasn't fair. None of it was. Having to see Noah? The fact that I had an amazing guy, who genuinely liked me, who waited for me. But I still couldn't get my mind off of that irritatingly beautiful face about to take the stage.

The lights went down, and I felt myself tense, throwing back the rest of my drink. My teeth were numb, if that made any sense at all. Ray's hand gripped mine tight, holding me up.

A cinematic scene played on the screens, but I wasn't watching, eyes hastily searching the stage.

A tall man, who I instantly recognized as Jolly, stepped center-stage, a guitar in his hand playing the opening riff to the song. It was heavy, deep and soul shaking.

Folio came out next, his face, like Jolly's, covered in a black ski mask.

Nick took his spot, playing his bass tones.

And then, as the opening crescendoed, a voice rang through the speakers.

A voice I'd never forget.

"Can you hear me through the white noise?"

He blasted onto the stage, glory and all, face covered and thick black jacket on his shoulders.

He sounded different. Angry. Raw, Aggressive. The feeling that sank in my stomach pulled me back further against the wall.

The song played through, his words pulsing through my veins.

As quick as it had started, it was over, and we were on to the next.

The next track was calmer, red lights glowing all throughout the stage.

They had all removed their masks, and I saw his face for the first time. He looked so much older, making it difficult for me to believe he was the same person.

The words of the song resonated deep in my thoughts.

"I don't want to know all your secrets, cause I'll tell. It's hard enough being alone with myself. I don't know how long I'll be holding on..."

Breathing deeply, I watched as the crowd moved with the music, electrifying the energy in the room. It was intoxicating.

Noah had changed...

The set played on without hitch, the entire time I caught myself holding in breaths until I felt my lungs nearly bursting. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, feeling the familiar ache beginning to creep back in.

The music stopped, and a bunch of lights came up. By this time, Noah had discarded his jacket, button-up, and only stood in a black tank top, hands wrapped in what looked like boxing wraps?

"Alright, Boston, how we feeling?" His speaking voice even sounded different...

The crowd erupted.

"We are Bad Omens, and we sincerely appreciate you all being here tonight. The next song we are going to play for you all has been the biggest turning point this band has ever seen." I heard the screams, and did my best to tune them out so I could hear his words. "Is anyone familiar with a song called Just Pretend?"

The room rocked with the cheers and chants of the crowd.

"That volume that I just heard? That's the volume I want to hear you sing this with me, okay? Don't worry about trying to hit the perfect note or get all of the words right. It's about us all, being here together tonight."

The music played softly behind him when his lips reached the microphone.

"I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you..."

My heart twisted in my chest.

"I'm not afraid, of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?"

The tears pooled in my eyes. No fucking way. The song played on, mocking me with the lyrics.

"I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face. And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same."

"We'll try again, when we're not so different. We will make amends, till then I'll just pretend."

My hands came up to cover my face, my lip trembling hard.

"Weigh down on me. Stay till morning. Way down. Would you say I'm worthy?"

I choked on a sob, my legs pushing me forward, and I ran out of the room. I felt my stomach lurching, my mouth clamping closed as I ran toward the bathroom.

I heard Ray chasing behind me. "Y/N! Wait!"

Flying into the bathroom and finding the first open stall, I fell to my knees, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My hands gripped my hair, tears falling hard down my face.

"Oh God, babe." Ray reached to grab my hair from me as I wretched all of the Vodka out of my stomach, my heart and soul pouring out with it.

When I finished, I let my chest heave with sobs, my hand covering my eyes in ebarrassment.

"Fuck, Ray." I said as I wiped my face with the tissue she handed me. "I've got to get the hell out of here."

She nodded. "Okay, my love. Let's do that."

After a solid twenty minutes of cleaning myself up in the bathroom, we stepped out, noticing the crowd now formed outside, waiting at the table for the band to come out for the signing. Ray was frantically dialing Sean, trying to find him among the sea of people. I just plopped myself down on the floor near the restroom, trying to relax as best as I could.

"Y/N?" I looked up at her. "I have to go find Sean. He isn't answering. Can you wait here for me?"

I just nodded, defeated. She was gone, lost within the abyss of people, and I sat, waiting, head in my hands.

I was pulled out of my stupor by the sound of cheering. The band had come out, all waving and smiling. I didn't even bother chancing a glance at him, for fear I may vomit again.

Ray had not come back yet, despite the four or five texts I had now sent her. I had been waiting for a solid thirty minutes, people watching the line and avoiding seeing his face. The ropes of the line were blocking my view of the faces sitting at the table.

After another fifteen, Ray finally bounded up to me, out of breath, Sean in tow.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry! That crowd is vicious!"

I stood slowly, the room only slightly spinning. I swallowed the dry, disgusting feeling in my throat, and began moving toward the exits that were now mostly clear.

"Let's go." She nodded at me, and took my arm. We had to wait behind several people trying to all get through the same revolving door. My skin felt spiky and cold.

"Hang on! Wait!"

A voice behind me made ice run through my veins, and I closed my eyes, begging whatever God existed to spare me in this moment.

A hand gripped my shoulder, and I tensed, turning my face, and my eyes looked straight at him.

He had spotted me, running from his table to catch me. He had to have been pretty damn sure it was me to chase after me like that. Fans began to crowd us, camera phones coming out, pictures snapping.

The look on his face was much less certain than I expected, as if he possibly made a mistake.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was unsteady. "Do I," He cleared his throat, eyes bouncing back and forth between my own. "know you?"

My eyebrows shot up. He really didn't recognize me?

He thought he did, but now...

"No. I don't think so." I spit out my words, teeth grinding together. It felt exactly the same as the last time I had seen him.

He dropped his hand, eyes still transfixed on mine. "I swore..."

I just turned my body, pressing my way past the gathered crowd, not giving him the chance to think it through.

In the car, I stared out the back window, arms wrapped around myself.

"What did he say, honey?" Ray's voice was so gentle.

"He didn't recognize me. He thought he did, but once he got up close, I guess I look too different." My words were only a peg above a whisper.

"You going to be okay? I don't have to stay at Sean's."

I just wiped the stray tear off of my cheek. "It's fine. I'd rather be alone."

-

A long, scalding shower, two handfuls of shredded cheese, and a solid half-hour crying session later, I was laid catatonically on my bed, eyes staring at the screen as Grey's Anatomy flashed across my screen.

I had blanked my mind out, forcing myself to let the thoughts go for the night. I was too tired and broken to let my heart hurt like this again. It took a solid year to get over Noah enough that I was able to function again. My first year of med school was disappointing, and I didn't make any friends until I made it into the second year. It took me nearly three to start dating.

I couldn't do that again.

I had been ignoring the texts going off on my phone, assuming it was Ray just checking on me for the thousandth time. I did, however, decide to take a look when I heard my ringtone going off.

Who would be calling me at 2AM?

I didn't even bother checking the screen before I put the phone up to my ear, my voice hoarse from crying.

"Hello?"

"What are the odds that you haven't changed your number after all this time?"

I sat bolt upright, my voice catching in my throat. The voice on the other end sounded nearly as wrecked as mine.

"Noah?" It barely came out.

"It's been a long time."

I cleared the newly formed phlegm out of my throat. "It has."

"I knew that was you." It sounded deadly quiet in the background of his end of the line. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming tonight?"

I sighed. "Nick told you?"

"He might've."

I groaned. "Well, I asked him not to."

"Why?"

I scoffed. "What do you mean, why?" I rubbed my eyes. "We're not exactly speaking anymore, Noah."

He hummed. "That's true."

I chewed on my lip, not having any kind of clue of what to say.

"What did you think?"

"Of the show?"

"Mhm."

I sighed. "It was good. Different than what I would have expected."

A soft laugh came through the line. "How so?"

I smiled at that. "It's just a lot different than what I expected your music to sound like."

"In a bad way?"

"No. Not at all."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." His voice was so serious. So monotone. Nothing at all like what I remembered.

The line fell silent again, and I found this irritating. What was he playing at?

"Why did you call, Noah?"

I heard a breath on the other end, and some rustling. "I don't know."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have."

"Maybe. I wanted to hear your voice."

My stomach tightened. "Now you have. I should go."

"Wait..." I held the phone firm, waiting. "I want to see you."

My heart pounded. "What?"

"I need to see you." His words were so matter-of-fact.

"I don't think so, Noah. That's not a great idea."

"It's not, but I'm asking..." He sounded so small. "Can I please see you?"

I perused the idea. "When?"

"Now?"

I scrunched up my face, sitting up again. "Now? It's after two in the morning."

"I don't care. I'll come to wherever you are."

This struck me. Maybe he hadn't changed?

"I, uh," I struggled to speak. "Noah, I don't know. I'm at home, it's late. I should be sleeping."

"Y/N?" I stopped, listening. "Please?"

I am a weak woman, and that is just plain fact. I was frantically running throughout the apartment, attempting to tidy any kind of mess I could get my hands on. Ray and I hadn't taken the time to really clean in months, so it was stressing me out. My pajama pants were hanging low on my hips, and I swam in my large sweatshirt.

My hair was falling loose around my face, and I was sure my eyes were puffy from the crying I had done. How insane was I? Had I completely lost it?

It was almost 3AM when a knock came at my apartment door, and I froze in place. What was I doing? Why was I allowing this to happen? I didn't need to do this to myself.

I was fine, living in my normal, tired bubble. I was headed towards a successful career that would take me further than I ever imagined. Why was I allowing this trainwreck of a friendship back into my life? What was I thinking?!

I wasn't. That was the answer to that question.

I opened the door, not sure what to expect on the other side. He stood, still as tall as I remembered, looming in the doorway. He wore a black hoodie, hands tucked neatly in the pocket. Dark blue jeans and black Converse. A white beanie covering his hair.

Like this, he looked almost recognizable. Except for his eyes...

Just like in the photograph I had seen earlier, his eyes were so dark. There was very little life behind them. Deep blue circles hung under the rims, making a pull in my chest show itself.

I just stood, blocking the doorway, hand white-knuckling the frame.

"Hi." Was all he managed. He was staring at me, eyes moving up and down my face as if he was seeing an apparition.

"Hi." I echoed, trying to not feel out of place under his stare.

"I'm glad you agreed to see me." He didn't move an inch, his jaw ticking closed with his last work.

I just nodded, letting out all of my air. "Yeah, well, you were insistent."

He nodded, finally looking away from me and down at the ground.

"I had to."

I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. "Did you?" He raised a brow at me. "Did you just have to see me? Because I think we probably would've been alright without it."

I could see his face fall, hurt by what I said, but I didn't care. He never did.

"I'm sorry. I know it's selfish."

"Mm," I pinched my lips together, and opened my door wider. "come in."

I stalked back into the house, not daring to look back at him. I heard the door shut behind me, and I steadied myself, expecting to turn around and see him vanished.

To my chagrin, he was still there.

Deciding not to stagnate, I walked into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of tea from the fridge, and walking back out to the living area. He hadn't moved, and was still staring at me.

"So." I motioned to him. "What can I do for you?"

Noah was so statuesque, as if carved right out of stone. "I don't really know."

My face lifted, a smirk on my lips. "You don't know? Noah," I placed a hand on my hip. "you show up here at 3AM, and you have no idea why?"

He shrugged, eyes begging me for mercy. "I'm sorry. I don't."

"Can you stop apologizing and just tell me why you're here?!" My patience snapped, startling even me.

This took him back, but instead of tucking tail and backing away, he stood straighter, face hardening.

"I can't tell you why I'm here if I don't know, alright?" His words were stern.

"Well you must have some kind of reason? Because this feels wildly unnecessary."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "It is? So you didn't want to see me?"

I set my tea on the coffee table and stood nonchalantly. "Not really."

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't buy it." He took a step toward me, but I stood firm. "If you didn't you wouldn't have stayed, tonight. You would've left after you saw the band your friends went to see."

He was closer now, and it felt like a string had tethered between us, the tension slowly slacking.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to see your set. See how the band was doing."

He snickered at me. "Oh, sure. Of course." His hands finally appeared from his pockets, one running over his chin. "Which song was your favorite?"

Oop. I wasn't expecting that.

"The second one. Villain, or something?"

He nodded. "Like A Villain." Noah's eyes weren't buying it. "Which one did you like least?"

I scoffed. "I don't know, Noah? The first one?"

"Mm, and which one was that?"

I was swallowing the lump in my throat. I couldn't remember, the night blurring together.

"Uh, I don't know the name."

He took a step back, triumphant. "You weren't there for the set. You wanted to see me."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. "Still as self-absorbed as ever, I see?"

"Am I wrong?"

He had me backed into a corner, and he fucking knew it.

I threw my arms up. "Fine! Maybe I did. But you wanted to see me too."

He sneered at me, venom on his lips. "Obviously, or else I wouldn't be here."

"You still haven't said why."

"Why did you want to see me?"

My voice was raising, frustration growing. "I don't know!"

"I don't know either!" He yelled back at me, and my mouth snapped closed. Noah never raised his voice at me. Not ever.

He took three long strides over to me until he was only stood a foot away.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again, Y/N! I thought you were gone forever! So imagine my surprise when I see you walking out of the House of Blues, and you deny even knowing me!"

I felt like shrinking into a ball right there on the floor, ceasing to exist.

"I wanted to see you because how could I not?! Seven fucking years, Y/N!" He backed down for a second, his breathing becoming ragged. "I've been waiting seven years."

I furrowed my brow. "Waiting?"

"For you to reach out. To tell me you missed me. To give me some kind of indication we could reconcile and be us again."

There was a fire, deep down in my gut, that I had never been able to truly extinguish. A fire Noah had lit years ago. A mine shaft burning like the depths of hell in my belly that I had buried under concrete and therapy, keeping it at bay.

In my apartment, tonight, that fire broke loose. And there was no stopping it.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I took a step forward, pressing into his space, index finger jabbing into his chest. "I was supposed to reach out?!"

He took a step back, eyes now full of fear.

"I professed my love to you, Noah! I told you I wanted you, and you fucking left!"

He puffed at me, pointing a finger back at me. "You told me to leave!'

"Yes! Because you told me you didn't love me! You told me you couldn't love me the way I loved you!"

He squeezed his lids shut tight, growling and turning away from me, taking several steps away. His hands came up, gripping the beanie on his head.

"God damn it Y/N!" He turned to look at me, a fiery rage matching my own behind his eyes. "Of course I fucking loved you!"

My heart stopped, completely motionless.

"What?"

"I've always loved you! From the moment I laid fucking eyes on you! I've never loved anyone, no one, the way I loved you!" He charged me, backing me toward the couch. "But I couldn't love you, Y/N! I wasn't good enough. I was a piss-poor high school dropout musician trying to make a name for himself, and, until recently, failing miserably."

I couldn't speak, thoughts racing so fast, I struggled to keep up.

"And you?" He pointed a finger back into my chest. "You were smart, and motivated, and you were going to make something of yourself. I couldn't drag you down with me. I couldn't force you to follow this journey with me. It would've ruined your life!"

My lungs weren't working right, and my hands were shaking. He wasn't actually saying this. I was hallucinating.

"So I left. I left to give you a chance at a real life. Which, evidently, you've managed to build without me." He took a step back, then, dropping his hands. "And I, somehow, without you."

This hurt me, hearing he had managed to become so successful, despite my involvement.

"Noah, I had no idea-"

"No," He cut me off. "you didn't."

I hadn't even caught the tears falling from my eyes, blurring my vision until he was just a watery mess in front of me.

"You didn't need me." I choked out, and he looked directly at me, inquisitively. "You've made it so far. You're a rockstar now, Noah."

He scoffed. "Y/N, you don't get it." He looked away from me, focused on the wall behind me. "I died without you. Something inside of me was lost the day I left, and I never got it back."

"Well, you're successful now, so it can't be so bad, right?"

He snorted, shaking his head. "Success always comes with a price."

My lips were wet with the tears I couldn't hold in, and I couldn't keep my breathing even. I knew he saw it, but hesitated to engage, wanting to keep a wide berth between us. I couldn't take it. It was too much.

Hearing he loved me. Hearing I had been wrong all this time. Hearing that the heartbreak I felt for so long wasn't his fault. He was protecting me, even after all these years.

"Noah?" He chanced a glance at me, and I saw his own eyes sparkling with moisture.

I couldn't take it.

I rushed him, grabbing hold of his shoulder and clinging on, desperate to find relief against him. My lips smashed into his, tearing apart the barrier I had worked so hard to build.

His hands grabbed me, holding me into place against him, his lips melted into mine, returning the kiss fervently. We were hopeless. We were hungry.

My tears didn't stop flowing, emotion pouring out of every pore. My fingers clawed at him, needing to get closer. My hand grabbed the beanie, and pulled it off of his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. I gripped it at the scalp, trying to pull myself closer.

Feeling what I was attempting to do, his hands lifted me by the back of my legs, so I could wrap them around his midsection. I refused to disconnect the kiss, breathing in his soul. It was so real and so familiar. How I missed it like hell.

His legs carried us to the couch, where he sat us down. My legs straddled him, and I finally pulled away to tug at the sweatshirt he wore. He made quick work of pulling it up over his head while I did the same with my own. Reconnecting our lips, my hands wandered over his neck and chest, scratching at the fabric of his shirt.

His teeth caught my bottom lip, and I moaned into his mouth. His fingers pulled at the waistband of my pajama pants, and I lifted myself enough to slip them off, replacing myself on his lap. His jeans were already getting tighter as his hands smoothed up and down my thighs.

"Fucking hell." He looked down, staring at my bare breasts in front of him. "These got bigger, huh?"

I laughed, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, well, things change."

His fingers gripped around my left breast, lips falling to circle around the hardened nipple. I let my head fall back, relishing in the warm feeling spreading throughout my body.

"Still so fucking beautiful, just like I remember." I pulled at the hair on the back of his neck. "Did you miss me, baby girl?"

I ground my hips down against him in response. His hand began playing with the button of his jeans, and I moved it away to open them myself.

I stood up to pull his jeans down to his knees, his boxers bulging in the crotch.

"Oh, fuck." I sighed out. "Yeah, I missed you."

His smile then was devious, some of that regular spark shining back in his eyes. "Then show me, huh?"

Reaching into the opening of his underwear, I pulled his cock free, taking a moment to remember just how large it was. It had been a very long time since I had seen anything quite that impressive. Dipping my head down, I licked a long stripe up the shaft, lingering on the head to gather the precome leaking out.

"Holy shit." His head fell back on the couch, his eyes rolling back with it. "Mm, do that again, please?"

I smirked, looking up at him. "Only since you asked so nicely."

My tongue repeated the movement, drawing out a hard groan out of him, his legs twitching. "Fuck yeah, baby."

Without warning, I wrapped my lips around him and swallowed him as far down as my throat would allow, gagging on the tip as it struck my tonsils. His hips jolted upward, effectively fucking my throat.

"Please, Y/N, I won't last that way." He begged, his words only coming out as breaths. "I need to feel you, please."

He was begging, and I couldn't resist it. I needed him too.

I stood back up, and kneeled on either side of him, carefully lining him up with my entrance. When I sunk down, that delicious burn pierced through me, and my body collapsed onto him at the intensity of it.

"Noah, oh my God." He ran a hand up my back, allowing me a moment to adjust.

"I know, baby. I know." He soothed me, rubbing small circles into my skin.

My hips stuttered forward, needing to feel the friction. His hand reached down to grab my ass, and lifted me upward. Without warning, his hips snapped forward and fucked into me, making a sharp scream leave my lips.

My face rested on his chest, whimpers falling from my throat with each hard thrust.

"Fuck, you missed me, pretty girl?" He was panting between his words, his rhythm picking up speed. "Missed the way I fuck you?"

My eyes were rolling back, the tears from before now replaced with tears of raw pleasure.

"I'll bet you've never been fucked like this, huh?" His words were just tones of desire playing in my ears, his cock absolutely destroying me. "No one can fuck you like I can, baby. No one."

My nails dug hard into his shirt, begging for release.

"Let me know when you come, baby. Not finishing until you do."

Luckily for him, I was riding the edge so hard it was making the room spin. Biting my lip to keep from screaming, I lifted myself to look at his face.

"Noah," I searched his eyes, his hips not faltering. "I love you."

He grit his teeth, trying to focus on me and his hips at the same time. "I love you, too. So fucking much."

My face fell back down, landing on the side of his neck. "I'm going to come. Please, Noah, I'm so close..."

He, somehow, managed to pump into me harder, sending my body over the cliff and into the warm waves of my orgasm. My body went slack against him as my walls pulsed around his length.

I heard him curse, and his hips stilled. I felt him spasming inside me, and silently thanked myself for my IUD.

We laid that way, sweaty and heaving, for a solid ten minutes before either of us could find the strength to move. I slipped him out of me, and sat up to look at him. He looked absolutely wrecked, in the best possible way.

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread over me.

"Hi." Was all I could manage.

He chuckled tiredly. "Hi."

-

After our excursion, Noah and I had taken a few minutes to clean up, and, being as exhausted as you'd expect, decided to lay together for a while.

He told me he had to leave within a few hours to get back to his hotel, heading to the next city bright and early, so I told him I'd stay up until he had to leave.

However, in my bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his voice whispering sweet words in my ears, I struggled to remain conscious.

"Do you remember when I bought you that Oasis album for your fourteenth birthday? That was basically me professing my love to you."

"I was such an idiot. I should've just told you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you. I don't think you'll ever understand."

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different..."

And that's how I woke up, light in my bedroom far too bright, and my bed empty.

I don't know what I expected? For him to stay? Fuck off his tour to make up for lost time with me?

But still, my chest stung when I saw he had left, but I wasn't surprised.

Something had changed last night, and the darkness that lingered in the depths of my being had lifted, leaving me with a sense of hope I hadn't felt before.

When I had woken for the day, clearing the cobwebs from my eyes, I contemplated my next move. He had surely left town already, but that didn't mean I couldn't keep in touch, right?

Pulling out my phone, I found his contact, and opened a text thread.

Me: Hey, call me when you can. I think we have a lot to talk about. :)

I set my phone down on the bathroom counter, preparing to brush my teeth when my phone dinged, and the notification told me the text had failed.

Odd?

I resent it, getting the same response.

Why would my messages fail? I paid my bill, right?

Quickly dialing Ray's number, I held the phone to my ear and heard the ringing, so I knew my service was fine. Giving her a quick apology for waking her, I hung up, and went back to my texts.

His number was the same, right?

I went back to my call logs, seeing it was his number that called me last night, so it was the same as it had always been.

So...what the hell?

My finger hovered over the number for a moment, and I weighed the options before finally resolving to just call him. Make sure I wasn't losing my mind.

I held the phone to my face as I started brushing my teeth, waiting for the call to connect.

"The number you have reached is not in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and try your call again."

[cowboylikeyouu]

i finally watched the making of deadpool & wolverine and wrote down every thought that popped up into my mind while watching, have fun lol

god hugh jackman is gorgeous

they’re talking about all the different ideas they had for this movie and honestly??? i would eat up every single one of them they should still do it lol

god hugh jackman is GORGEOUS

man i missed them sm i haven’t watched dp&w in TWO MONTHS?????

i will never shut up about the deadpool suit in this movie it’s SO AWESOME it’s a blessing for my eyes every time it’s on screen

"that’s what we were striving for with rdj in endgame, is to give this iconic fictional character an amazing ending." yeah well only that endgame‘s ending SUCKED and i will never forgive anyone for it <3

ugh hugh jackman is gorgeous

i could watch him speak forever

i‘m SO glad ryan made that "i should use his body as a weapon" pitch bc GODDAMN that opening scene will never get old

ahhhhhh i love that we‘re getting some insight in the stunt/fight stuff, SO interesting !! the shitty iphone test videos are hilarious

they should’ve made a "he ACTUALLY broke his toe when he kicked that helmet!!!!" reference when ryan kicked logan‘s skull lmao

the marry puppins SNOGGING ryan bts clips will never get old lmao funniest shit ever

THE SUIT LOOKS SO GOOD UGHHHH am i having a gender or a sexuality crisis over it???? guess we’ll never know

EMMA CORRIN ILYSM

shout out to british people gotta be one of my fav genders fr

all the different lines ryan screamed out of the honda????😭😭 honestly they should’ve just kept all of these idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN

"and i knew the fans would love it" ohhh hugh i think we all love it a bit too much

"and yet, i wouldn’t say wolverine is a straight man" awesome, thanks, case fucking CLOSED.

"which i don’t recommend, sending a 10 minute voice memo to anyone"

*me looking at the five 10-20 minute voicemails i send my friends every single day*

THE SUITS LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER (their asses do as well)

GOD hugh jackman is gorgeous

"what we refer to as the van fight" no babe that’s the honda odyssey sex marathon actually!!

"violence is our love language" ITS CONFIRMED (everyone knew. BUT STILL)

choreographing this scene (all the deadpool vs wolverine fight scenes really) must’ve been SO FUN like UGH just coming up with all this violence knowing that it won’t affect your characters in the long haul and you can add of many of it as you want????? THE DREAM

THEM HUGGING IN THE HONDA???😭😭 brb gotta cry

I LOVE YOU EMMA CORRIN

CHRIS EVANS LOML

it’s unfair how attractive he is i‘m gonna throw up

reminder to myself to finally learn johnny‘s monologue i wanna be able to randomly hit people with it

OHHHH i actually did NOT realize that was hulk‘s bed from ragnarok??? which is weird bc i used to watch that movie religiously. but hey that’s so cool!!

channing tatum talking about gambit is so heartwarming man so happy for him😭

jennifer garner is so pretty i‘m so gay lord help

me

dafne keen‘s voice sounds SO different when she’s not playing laura, CRAZY

EMMA CORRIN MY LOVE

just once just ONCE i wanna walk through a street filme set like this UGH it looks so cool & surreal

"this is our baby yoda" i have to be this annoying person i‘m sorry but HIS NAME IS GROGU

i don’t know shit about music but i could listen to people talk about movie scores for hours on end (how did you know sideways is my fav youtube video essayist???)

good fucking god hugh jackman is gorgeous

lmao they should’ve kept the "zoooombies wake uuuppp" again, idc about logic

EMMA CORRIN ‼️‼️‼️

ohh hugh jackman is gorgeous (put your greasy tits away you preening slut)

ugh i‘m getting emotional help

well that was awesome, gonna cry myself to sleep now byeee

(have i mentioned how gorgeous hugh jackman is?)

[phinjeet]

* NOT WHAT THE POST WAZ ABOUT GUYZ !!!!!!!/LH

* lov getting attention on my pnf postz here but ppl making it about perryshmirtz iz where i draw the line FUCK OFF

[billksbbg]

Hey so um a little midnight rant about my feelings for bill cause i cant sleep and i fucking need to get this off my chest

every time i see bill kaulitz i gain AND lose the will to live. like how is it even allowed for a man to look like that?? i literally want him to throw me around like a ragdoll, kick me in the chest, spit on me and then glare at me like i’m beneath him and i’d still say thank you sir can i have some more please? Cause yes id fucking need more. Oh yeah and his voice alone??? i hear him talk and it’s like my brain melts out of my ears. waterfall. volcano. seizure. Panick attack in a good way if that fucking exists. i wanna sprint all over the country. i don’t even speak german and i will watch the same 30 second clip of him saying ANYTHING like it’s porn. and don’t even get me started on when he sings because no. no. he opens his mouth and i’m already arching my back and clutching my sheets like a 40 year old single mom whos waiting for her 20 year old boyfriend while her sons are asleep. i edge to anything he does idc. he doesn’t even have to moan. he could just say any word in the vocabulary and i’d be on the floor. every inch of him is so unbearably perfect it’s actually disgusting. i’m not exaggerating i want him to fucking destroy me. and the worst part??? the actual worst part is that when people ask me what my dream job is i can’t even say the truth which is bill kaulitz’s full time cumrag. like what the fuck do you actually expect me to say. this isn’t a phase this is a goddamn curse. i have not been mentally stable since i first saw him. i dream about him. i daydream about him. i talk to him in my head like i’m in a relationship. i moan when he talks. I talked about him to my therapist. i am NOT okay. i will never be okay until he fucks me into the drywall and calls me pathetic

Confuckingratulations to anyone who got to bounce on it i hope they will have the most painful death a human being can experience💕🫶

[the-architect-of-ferrari]

hey guys! I was formerly fellow-meme-lover but I have retired that name after like 7 years. I am now @the-architect-of-ferrari in honor of that one article about Carlos (pictured). I’m a little surprised no one had taken that username yet but I’ll gladly have it.

I decided to change my name because I want it to reflect the main focus of my blog moving forward: Carlos Sainz. This is also going to be a bit of a goodbye to Ferrari post and clarifying what my blog will look like after AD24. So continue reading after the cut if you’re interested.

I am a fairly recent f1 fan, I only started casually watching late into the 2023 season, and it wasn’t until the winter break that I started getting serious about f1 and more involved.

It was during this time that I discovered Charlos, and they were my absolute favorite duo on the entire grid. I remember thinking the entire Ferrari team was a giant mess, and that the only thing they had going for them was their driver pairing. I spent the off-season watching old interviews with them, seeing posts about them on tumblr and twitter, and learning everything about them that I could. I initially liked Charles more, as he was the first driver I really learned about, and I will always be fond of him for gifting me this sport and fandom that means so much to me.

Over time though, I naturally gravitated more towards Carlos. I couldn’t explain it but there was something about him that connected me to him, and soon his happiness was my happiness and his sadness was my sadness. When the news of Lewis’s move to Ferrari dropped on February 1st, I was devastated. I could only think of how Ferrari was Carlos’s dream and it was now coming to an end. All season I’ve been dreading having to make this post, having to say goodbye, but I can’t put it off forever. I truly believe that the team hasn’t done right by Carlos in a lot of ways, but it was his dream, and I want him to be happy more than anything else, and for his sake I sincerely hope that a return to Ferrari is possible one day. I think he will be happy to know that regardless of what the future holds, he will always be a part of the team’s history, and everything he gave to them will not be forgotten.

As for Charlos as a duo, they were always the duo I loved the most of the entire grid. It wasn’t always easy at times, with their occasional fights, with the frequent fan wars, and the accusations of it being a PR friendship. But I think if you went back and watched old videos of them together, you can see the fondness in their eyes clear as day, and it lingers in their familiarity with each other to this day. Four years as teammates isn’t nothing. I don’t know that anyone will be able to make me laugh as hard as they did, or cheer me up on a bad day the way they did. In the future, even if they’re not teammates I will still try to post about them as much as possible, even if it’s a 3 second clip of them chatting at a driver’s parade or something idc.

But with that said, my no.1 driver from now on will always be Carlos, and so what I post will reflect that. As a Charlos fan, I was reluctantly a Ferrari fan because that is the team they drove for, but now I will be with Carlos 100%. I will no longer be solely posting about charles and carlos, and instead will post things more like what i have been posting lately, which will include other driver pairings like versainz. I’ll also just post general f1 stuff sometimes if i think i have something important to say. But mostly i will be talking about Carlos.

For now though, let’s make the rest of this season count. I’ll be with you always, Carlos.

¡Vamos, toro!

[vengekiss]

i have 87 blurry screencaps of strange magic (2015) and 13 video clips all from the last 30 min of the movie only. and im going to post all of them with commentary because it's tumblr and nothing matters.

ok these scenes are from their first spar.

bog being stressed bc he's 30 years old (and other reasons i guess)

bog being scared for his life bc marianne literally came in like a wrecking ball

bog says "uh oh" under his breath (he knew even now)

"look at you!" (he's having so much fun)

marianne smirking but you can barely see it (she's having so much fun)

now they're just blatantly flirting. rein it in guys children are watching

"impressive!" "not bad!" "you fight well! for a fairy" we get it bog u think she's the coolest fairy ever tell us something we don't know

she's really pretty no notes

he looks very... something. like also i felt bad he got so serious and was like "kill me idc" like no don't kill urself ur too sexy king

im not an expert on reading faces but she looks surprised (as was i) he just. left his staff there. like bro she still might kill u. did he forget? did he literally let his guard down? it could be many things.

[therelwildjaybird]

ok hey guys i just finished watching tadc ep 5 and like ohh my god so im like just gonna yap abt it cuz why not

ok one thing i really did like at the beginning of the episode when they get back from the adventure and there like soaked i really like how you could really like *see* the water like it felt kinda hyper realistic??? i thought that was kinda cool

no and then jax like running on all fours and like freaking chomping gangle as a rhino like hello??? also the way when jax shot the rhino it just fell T^T like just the way it feel was so like mobile game add coded.

and then we have the presidential adventure where like why???? why are we turning pomni into a president?? pomni for president 2029 canon. no OKOKOK this is just me kinda stating the obvious but like i really do feel like jax is just trying to befriend pomni bc his "old friend" is gone which is probably the dude whos door was crossed out in the intermission. like its kinda more and more prevalent as the episode goes on like hes less of an asshole to pomni. and then like ragatha being warry of like like she thinks jax is kinda demonitizing her?? or like using pomni maybe, and then the part where jax says that HE feels like ragathas being nice to just use people. and it sounds like hes talking from experience. it sounds like there BOTH talking from experience whenever they call eachother out jax and ragatha argument when??

sorry for the side tangent lol ok the ANIME SEGMENT WAS ACTUALLY SO LIKE FREAKING SILLY LIKE I LOVE HOW THE EYES WERE DRAWN??? AND THEN THE "not as embarassing when gangle took an anime figure" LIKE THE FIGURE THING COMING UP AGAIN GANGLE NO??? what the jar incident T^T

the star gazing part i think was one of my favorites like that has to be a reference to the outtro. and jax saying "do you think gangle can be happy?" THAT WAS SO OUT OF POCKET??? and then pomni after that saying "i thought you didnt care" and jax was ABOUT to defend himself like he was ABOUT to say "no i do but..." or smth like that but then he just??? gives up???

another side tangent lol i feel like jax and ragatha are like polar opposites. ragatha for what ever reason never likes being negative so shes always positive. jax is doesnt like being nice for whatever reason so hes an ass, "whatever reason" probably being a defense mechanism for both jax and ragatha. i feel like they could really balance eachother out if they werent constantly arguing.

also the part where jax claims that gangle likes when hes mean to her like call back to that one clip of michael kovach and marrisa lenti talking as jax and gangle on stream and jax goes like "you like it when im mean to you" and gangle says "thats besides the point". i feel like if jax wasnt an asshole he and gangle would be really good friends. like he helped find a for her genuinely what happened to him that made him be mean because i dont think jax *now* would help someone this their name. no ok when ragatha mentioned him not having a friend anymore i like actually screamed and shed a few tears like excuse me? the way jax just like looked so angry??? like??? and ragatha trying to frantically apologize WHAT HAPPENED??? on a lighter note tho jax saying his ears and tail are like peak masculinity and then him chasing his non existent tail. i do beilive him when he said he had a tail so maybe it just like ran away or smth idk. and the moon and Caine interacting like like girl give the moon some attention for once :P

ok whats next the intermission. the intermission was beautiful. i loved it. 10/10 would watch again

ok and when they were at a bar and zooble mentioned like being a tatoo artist and a bartender?? idc what jax says zooble genuinely seems like a cool person i love them <3 and i like how like a few of them had a youtube channel like i love that. i would 100% subscribe. and then theres the part where jax said "remember when ragatha got high at mcdonals and told gangle to kill herself" i was TAKEN ABACK HELLO? i screamed again this episode made me scream alot ik jax is an asshole but who says this???? and then ragatha just venting abt her mother and being awkward and trying to change the subject like

ok ragatha genuinely is a nice character but she has this kind of awkwardness and idk like the way not just jax calls her out but gangle did so like once kinda gives off that maybe there is smth sinister, especially whenever jax calls her out he seems genuine. again with them kinda being polar opposites. ragathas nice but you can tell theres smth sinister behind it and jax is a jerk but you can tell theres like a reason for it and he secretly does care abt everyone. this isnt me antagonizing ragatha/defending jax i think we should hold jax accountable bc even if its a weird coping mechinism thats not justified and even if its set up to look like ragathas fake i feel like we dont know enought information to point fingers at her. ANOTHER SIDE TANGENT AUGH ok this is the last one i PROMISE

i enjoyed eveyones backstories i thought it was nice to see everyone just kinda talk abt themselves. sorry im not going into detail ive been typing for like half an hour and im getting tired anyways onto the baseball part

i liked the evil guys i thought they were all very like vivid. ragaths and pomnis especially rags was very exaggerated and pomnis evil versoin idk she was just kinda chill ig. AND THEN EVIL JAX WITH THE ANIME VOICE "hey guys i hope we all have a fun game no matter who ends up winning!" it just reminded me of 2020 alt tiktok with the hand signs and all i can *hear* micheal using the hand signs while recording evil jax i can HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE. ok and then jax in a maid dress i like how even kinger wanted to see him in a dress like they dont interact alot a kinger wants to see it lol. and then pomni not wanting to see it, again with them kinda becoming friends like shes still mad at jax for *everything* but she doesnt hate him as much as the others cuz they do end up bonding here and there. and then the way jax was like absolutly engraged with the dress and zooble going "ive never seen you this angry" like sure it could just be the dress but i genuinely think theres like a little smth behind why jax hates the dress so much maybe. also like jax genuine emotion but like differently then before. before when he was acting more genuine it was just him jokingly glorifying himself of like just reacting somewhere in the middle like not a jerk but not nice just in the middle. we dont really see him expression a genuine negative emotion, or like an emotion he could be judged for if he displayed it. sure hes negative towards everyone but you can tell hes just messing with them, even if it has gotten to the point where its just harmful and straight annoying to everyone. and then evil pomnis and jax interacting i think thats kinda nice like wow i like their friendship even if it lasted for like 10 minutes max. and then the small arugment between jax and ragatha and ragatha apologies for bring up his old friend and the way his pupils *dilate* like his eyes go big likes he blanking like what was that abt??? and then just him biting evil jax. jax is a biter he likes biting stuff. that is my new headcanon which is kinda partially canon. he likes biting things. i feel like he would own one of those necklaces that just have like a plastic shard shaped thing thats specifically made for biting i think he would benefit from that.

and then the last things i need to say when jax is like walking away with pomni like his posture?? why is he like crouching what is the reason for this??? and then the random manikin what was this what is this abt what does this mean i need answered

ok thats it i had a few more things to say but ive been tying for and hour and im tired. this was kinda all over the place but whatever my brain was racing with thoughts after i watched the episode and now its racing less so yay glad i got that out of my system. have a nice day to anyone who got this far lmao your peak

Edit: its been an hour and like 7ish minutes and im back to spiraling help

[bbywhitefox123]

Summary: Cass Rhett vs. Twitch (ft. Drew Starkey and demon babies).

Warnings: idk none

Cass Rhett’s ring light was on, her mic was plugged in, and her Twitch stream had barely started before the chat was already spiraling into chaos.

“OKAYYYYY, hey babies,” she greeted with a grin, waving to the camera. “Welcome to my very first Twitch stream, and yes—before anyone says it—this is for charity, not clout. Kinda. A little clout never hurt.”

User: CASS QUEEN IS LIVE WTF

User: bro i’m donating my entire paycheck idc

User: play something SCARY cass cmon be real

User: someone said strip poker 😭😭😭

User: mod ban horny jail pls

Cass read the last one and snorted. “Y’all are feral. Someone said strip poker—this is Twitch, not OnlyFans. Behave. I got family watching. Maybe. I hope not.”

She leaned back, twirling a pen between her fingers. “Alright, chat, what are we doing tonight? Sims? Minecraft? Old barbie games? Weird anime games?”

The overwhelming answer?

User: HORROR GAME.

User: this new indie one makes grown men cry fr

User: FNAF BAICHHH

Cass blinked. “...Y’all hate me.”

Still, she downloaded it. “If I scream, nobody clip it, okay?” she said, already knowing she was going to get clipped a hundred times.

Twenty minutes in, Cass was full-on curled in her gaming chair, hoodie up, whisper-screaming.

“OH HELL NO. Nope. Nope. Why are the footsteps getting louder? WHO programmed this demonic shit?”

The chat was in tears.

User: this is content omg

User: cass is fighting for her life rn

User: someone said protect her 😭😭😭

At one point she slammed the pause button and stared deadpan into the camera. “I’m playing this for CHARITY. For THE CHILDREN. And y'all make me get hunted by demons and sweat through my hoodie.”

She unpaused. The second a jump scare hit, she shrieked, flung her mouse, and shouted, “I HOPE YOUR PILLOW’S HOT ON BOTH SIDES, YOU UGLY-ASS GOBLIN BITCH.”

It only made the chat love her more.

User:Cass Rhett needs to autition for scream queen.

User: her agent needs to get her on scream

User: PAHAHHAHAHAH

Cass clutched her chest like she was eighty. “I need a defibrillator. Or tequila.”

The horror game had her pacing in her chair like she was being haunted in real life. The chat was losing it.

User: girl's playing like her soul is on the line 😭

User: this is NOT chill-core streaming this is WAR

User: SOMEONE GIVE HER HOLY WATER

User: cass needs a priest not a new gaming setup lol

"I swear to God, if one more demon baby crawls out of a closet—" she hissed, jumping out of her seat when a door creaked open in-game. "WHAT IS THAT SOUND?? Is it breathing?? Oh my god it's BREATHING I CAN HEAR IT BREATHING—"

She paused the game again and turned to camera, dead serious.

“Why does this sound design go so hard tho? Like... y’all didn’t have to cook like that. Chill. Did y'all call Annabelle for the voice overs— shit feels too real.”

Then, as she reached for her Red Bull, her hands visibly shook. “If this game ends with me peeing myself on camera, we’re deleting this VOD and pretending it was a barbie game stream.”

The chat went in absolute flames.

User: not her trying to be cute

User: cass sweetie this game is eating you alive 💀

User: RAISE THE CHARITY GOAL SHE'S SUFFERING

Suddenly the monster lunged again, and Cass flung her headset off like it bit her.

“NOPE. NOPE. NOOOOOPE. I’m calling the pope. I’m calling my mom. I’m calling my therapist to come fight this demon with me!”

User: WE NEED DREW STREAMEATING CASS 😭

User: not you summoning your therapist to play demon tag

User: call drew starkey and get him in rafe mode. he’d punch the monster for u 🔥

Cass wheezed, laughing but still half-terrified. “Okay I swear to God next stream we’re baking cupcakes and talking astrology. No demons, no knives, no jump scares—just me being hot on camera.”

And yet… she clicked continue.

“I hate myself,” she muttered, adjusting her mic. “Okay, let’s go get murdered. For the kids.”

User: she's a mommy

User: The girlie can act. The girlie can game. And apparently, the girlie can scream in 4K.

User: omg she's so prettyyyyyy 😍😍

User: W behaviour

Cass screamed so loud the mic peaked, the chat glitched, and then — CRASH. Her chair tipped backwards and she hit the floor like a final girl in a slasher flick, her headphones flying across the room.

User: SHE’S GONE. GIRL DOWN. CASS R DOWN

User: clip it. CLIP IT RIGHT NOW

User: did the demon jump out the screen orrr?? 😭

User: chat is think they demon baby got her

User: game name????

Cass, yelled from the floor: “I’m suing. I’m suing the game devs. I’m suing Twitch. I’m suing Satan.”

Just then, the door burst open. Drew Starkey, barefoot, half-dressed in a hoodie and t-shirt, stormed in like he was about to fistfight a ghost.

“CASS?” he yelled, eyes wide. “What the fuck was that? Are you—”

He stopped when he saw her sprawled on the rug, hair a mess, one sock missing, her face frozen in a dazed panic.

“Joseph,” she said, dead serious. “There’s a child demon in that game and it breathes like a forty-year-old smoker.”

Drew blinked. “You fell out of your chair.”

“It lunged at me, Joey!” she snapped, still half on the floor. “It lunged with intention!”

User: WHATCIS MY HUSBAND DOING THERE?!?!

User: roommates?? COZY

User: the way she calls him joseph like he’s grounded

User: did drew just wake up to fight a demon for her i’m GONNA CRY

Drew walked over and grabbed her headset from the floor. “You okay?”

Cass held up a finger. “Emotionally? No. Mentally? Decaying. Physically? Also no. But I’m committed to this bit for charity, so get me something strong and help me back into that chair.”

Drew handed her the headset with a smirk. “You’re being dramatic.”

Cass slid back into the chair dramatically. “I’m a content creator, Joseph.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re a menace.”

She turned to the camera, hair a mess, eyes wide, voice gravelly: “We're continuing, guys, the demon so did not got me. Joey’s gonna hold my hand though... so I don't swing at that ghost baby.”

Drew murmured from off screen: “Absolutely not.”

User: "joey's gonna hold my hand" 😭😭😭

User: SOMEONE GIVE THEM A PODCAST

User: if they don’t kiss by the end of this stream I'M suing twitch

Cass made the ultimate puppy eyes at him, voice dripping with innocence. “C’mon, play. It’s for charity, baby.”

User: GUYS ARE WE THIRDWHEELING???

User: they're so cuteeeeee

User: bitch don't look at my husband like that. LOOK AT ME

User: babyyy??? That's daddy

The chat exploded with heart emojis, some even donated so he would play.

Drew narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Really?”

“Yeah, you can ask chat if you want,” Cass slid her chair over so he could see the screen.

Drew stared blankly at the chat scrolling by faster than he could read. “Where do I even look?”

“They’re calling you a boomer,” Cass laughed, barely able to hold it together.

“I’m 31!” Drew shot back, offended.

“My mom had two kids at 31,” Cass shrugged with a sly grin. “You can't even find the chat.”

User: Cassie roasting him live, iconic

User: someone give him his reading glasses lmao

User: I WANT HIM SO BAD

User: playyyyy

Drew sighed, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he gave in, “Alright, fine.”

Drew looked around, hands on his hips. “Okay, but like… where am I sitting?”

User: ON MY FACE PLS

User: suddenly I'm a chair

User: JAILLL

Cassie gestured dramatically to her gaming chair. “Here, obviously. Throne's all yours, King.”

He raised a brow. “Nah, I’ll just stand then.”

Cass burst out laughing. “Joey, you’re literally crotch-level with the webcam. Chat’s only seeing your dick.”

Chat went feral.

User: THE ANGLE 💀💀💀

User: Cass be honest you planned this

User: Not Drew giving us free premium content 😭😭

User: "Throne's all yours, King" NAH THE THRONE IS IN HIS PANTS GIRL😭

Drew awkwardly shifted back. “Okay, okay! Fine, I’ll sit. Damn.”

Cassie smirked as she stood up so he could lower himself into the chair. “Much better. PG-13 achieved. For now.”

User: CASS I LOVE U PLS DONT GO BALD ❤️

Cassie stood up beside Drew, brushing her hands down her sweatpants like she was preparing for battle. She scanned chat, then looked down at him—her expression somewhere between amused and dangerously serious.

Drew glanced up at her like a lost puppy. “Okay, what do I do?”

Without answering, Cass picked up the headset and slipped it over his ears, adjusting the mic like she’d done it a hundred times. “Listen closely and be a good boy, Joey. This is sacred ground now. You do not touch anything unless I say so.”

User: WHO IS JOEY?!?!

User: call me good boy pls 🙏

“Okay?” he said, nodding cautiously.

User: THE POWER SHE HOLDS 😩

User: DREW LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE'S GOD

User: not cass whispering commandments into his ears like it's the ten horror commandments

User: MOMMYYYYY

But of course, he immediately clicked the wrong thing.

“No—Joseph, what the fuck did you just—” She lunged forward, eyes wide as the screen flickered. “You almost ENDED the game. I’ve been traumatized for two hours, and you were about to reset us into hell.”

Drew lifted his hands like he was under arrest. “I was under arrest!”

Cass didn’t even answer—she just dropped down sideways onto his thigh like it was the most natural thing in the world, swiping the mouse from his hand with precision.

“I’m taking over,” she muttered.

User: ON. HIS. LAP.

User: She said: move, citizen.

User: CASS SITTING ON HIM LIKE SHE PAYS RENT THERE

User: Drew.exe has stopped working

Drew blinked. “You’re really just gonna—?”

“Shhh,” she whispered, laser-focused on the screen. “This is a one-woman mission now.”

User: RIP Drew's soul 2025-2025

User: He looks like he's being possessed and blessed at the same time

User: BONER ALERTTTT🚨🚨🚨

Cass didn’t even blink. She adjusted her position on Drew’s thigh like she was made to fit there, one hand expertly steering the mouse while the other hovered over the keyboard. Drew, on the other hand, was malfunctioning in 4K.

His hands were still raised in surrender, lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something but couldn't remember how to speak. The chat was absolutely feral.

User: THE MAN IS STIFF AS A BOARD AND NOT JUST IN FEAR LOL

User: cass please sit on ME like that 😭😭😭

User: someone go check drew's heart rate rn

Cass tilted her head, her hair brushing his jaw as she leaned forward toward the screen. Drew swallowed hard.

“You smell good,” he muttered under his breath.

Cassie didn’t even look at him. “I know, baby.”

User: OH SHE KNOWS?!?!?? THE POWER??!!??

User: that “i know” just punched me in the throat

User: cass rhett invented top energy istg

A particularly loud screech burst through the headphones, and Drew instinctively grabbed her waist like he could protect her from pixels and surround sound.

Cassie froze for half a second. Just long enough to feel his hands burning through her thin top. Then she smirked.

“Joey,” she said sweetly, “are you holding me because you're scared... or because I’m sitting on you?”

“…Yes,” he muttered, ears burning.

She leaned back against him a little more, arching her brow as she looked at the camera. “Charity stream’s turning into an R-rated movie real quick.”

User: girl be fr 😭

User: drew's soul just left his body, I saw it

User: IM SWEATING AND IM NOT EVEN THERE

User: are they trying to KILL us or??

Cassie finally beat the level—with one dramatic mouse click—and the game cut to a black screen. She smirked, twisting slightly to face him, now basically straddling one of his legs.

Drew's voice came out low. “That was hot.”

“Yeah?” she asked, tilting her head like she didn’t already know. Her fingers toyed with the edge of his shirt where it had ridden up a little.

He glanced at the camera. “We’re still live.”

She gave him the softest, most dangerous smile. “So behave.”

User: “so behave”???? im on the floor

User: cass is playing with FIRE and drew’s just letting her burn him

User: this is a softcore corn someone call twitch HQ

User: i swear if they date irl i’m gonna die happy

User: MOMMYYYYY

Cassie clicked start on the next level, the eerie music of the horror game creeping through the headphones. The dim glow of the screen lit her face, sharp and focused—until a sudden jump scare made her gasp, a small yelp escaping her lips.

Before she could even process it, her body instinctively shifted—she slid down a little more on Drew’s lap, pressing her back against him. His hands found her hips, steadying her gently, thumbs brushing slow circles just beneath her ribs.

User: YOOO WHATS HAPPENING

User: stop playing and start kissing already

User: this is the softest torture i’ve ever seen

User: her scared face??? kill me now she's soooo hot

User: MOM COME PICK ME UP IM SCARED

Cassie caught her breath, biting her lip as the screen flickered with shadows and unknown dangers. Every time the game made her jump, she moved closer, her body seeking the warmth and the pressure of Drew’s hands.

He shifted beneath her, his boner pressing into her. She could feel it—firm and demanding—and it made a slow smile spread across her lips.

“Joey,” she murmured, voice low, breath warm against his ear, “you’re distracting me.”

His hand slid a little lower, fingers hooking at the waistband of her shorts. “Just trying to help, Cass.”

Cassie paused the game and turned in his lap, fingers tangling in the front of his shirt, eyes glinting at him.

User: OMG THEY’RE TOUCHING *AND* TALKING

User: she’s definitely teasing him... and we’re all here for it

User: CASS IT'S ABOUT A CHARITY

User: i’m sweating so much rn

“If you want to help, maybe you should play.” She slid her hands off the mouse and rested them gently on her thighs.

Drew grinned, eyes sparkling with challenge. “Alright, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”

Cassie leaned back against his toned chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through her top. His strong arm wrapped around her waist, steady and grounding as his dominant hand moved confidently over the mouse and keyboard. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the feeling of him behind her, his breath warm against her neck.

User: OMG THEY’RE SO CLOSE I CAN’T

User: drew’s got this smooth gamer vibe tbh

User: cassie’s just vibin’ on his lap and i’m jealous

User: stream turned into a cozy cuddle sesh realllllllll quick

Cassie’s fingers twined with his at her waist, her head resting lightly against his shoulder. Every now and then, she’d lean into him a little more whenever a scary jump or tense moment came up on screen, her body instinctively seeking comfort — and maybe a little more.

Drew’s voice was steady, teasing, “Not bad, huh, chat?”

Cassie smiled, biting her lip.

User: grandpa's learning the lingo

User: MOMMYYYY and her good boy

Then she glanced at the chat, her lips curling into a sly smile. “Okay, guys, I see you — Joey, they’re calling me mommy.” She laughed softly, shaking her head. “I mean, I guess someone’s gotta keep you in line.”

She scrolled through a few messages aloud, her tone playful and teasing. “What’s Cassie’s secret to looking this flawless while screaming at video games? Honestly, just pure panic and sheer terror.”

User: lmaooo

User: stop gatekeeping bro

User: Drew is such a lucky boomer

User: film a skincare routine for yb pleaseeeee

User: that thigh seat tho, can we get a fanfic?

The chat was buzzing with heart emojis and playful comments as Cassie settled back against him, their chemistry lighting up the stream like pure electricity.

[weirdfish-arpeggi]

hello every pony i want to make more friends here so this is my get to know me/dni !!!

firstly my name is dan (my nickname is dj but only for ppl who know me irl!)

im 20

i’m transmasc i use he/they

im very much married (not really but i do have a partner)

i’m autistic and my special interest is stuffed animals, history (1900s-2000s), and animals!

i only read realistic fiction, classic literature, or comics

i don’t think i’ll ever show my face on here i like being kinda anonymous

fandoms im in on here : it’s always sunny in philadelphia / mlp / lps / fnaf / house md / musicals (my #1 is falsettos) / occlupanid research / yellowjackets / bojack horseman / gravity falls / batman & joker / radiohead (obviously) / ween / ethel cain / twenty one pilots

dni

general stuff like racism/homophobia/transphobia/etc

anyone under 18 idc how mature you think you are as a 20 year old i will not be mutuals with you!

anyone who thinks the phantom is the victim in the play or the movie or book i don’t wanna here it.

anyone who thinks bread clips aren’t interesting (you obviously don’t know why they have an entire classification system)

people who judge pineapple on pizza (you don’t get it and that sucks for you)

anyone who thinks using soap is a conspiracy

animal haters (i don’t trust you)

anyone who likes colleen hoover

dark romance writers or readers that think DV is hot

literally anyone who likes going to the dentist

to be continued….

[ophernelia]

Hi Opie! I hope you’re having a good day. I’ve been watching the new season of Love Island USA and was thinking back to your post about almost being on it lol. Girl, you really did dodge a bullet. Each season I’m always so perplexed on where they find the men because they ain’t shit. Have you been watching the new season? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Heyyyyyy!

Ykw that’s the another thing too. I don’t think there’s been a single man on Love Island that I would’ve been interested in. Except for Ovie from Love Island UK season 5, I think? (Best season btw. Second place goes to last season of LI USA)

Mm… almost licked the screen my bad.

Other than that though..🤷🏽‍♀️. Handsome men. Not my taste though. I’ve been fake watching the current season. A couple clips from every episode here and there. I usually don’t hop in until like mid-season because the first couple of episodes are always boring. I don’t like any of the couples so far. (Austin isn’t included in this because I don’t care about him at all. Don’t care for Trumpys. Don’t pay attention to them.)

Love Olandria and Chelley down. They’re likeable. They seem really sure of themselves and mature. Gorgeous women. I’m only checking in everyday for them. For those two, I want some grown men brought in for them. In age, in temperament, in maturity. Chelley and Ace is a NO. Ace is a baby. 22 years old are the same as 19 year olds. Just a little more responsible. That’s still so young. And he acts like it too so. Aside from those two… idc. Amaya and Huda are cut from the same looney tunes cloth. Ace reminds me of a 19 year old. Jeremiah.. meh don’t care. And I can’t even remember everyone else’s names because idc about them either.

And I’m sick of seeing these young women doing all this over men. In Ace’s case- over a BOY. Amaya was so wrong for how she came at Chelley in that dressing room. She should have pulled her aside and had a more calm conversation. The little shots she was taking was unnecessary. Like girl relax. And also spinning back to the Huda and Olandria thing- Olandria was right for checking her. I would have also. Except it wouldn’t have been a “girl we can just talk about this later” with me. No, all that isn’t needed. It’s been like 24 hours. Ain’t no “that’s sad. You guys deserve real men.” Sista, hush! If this was like post-casa then cool. It’s early on. Let them switch in peace. All that rah rah would’ve embarrassed me too. Like stop.

[dannyriccsystem]

the drs zone is alive and thriving and growing why do i feel like a proud mama omg 🥹 esp bc ive been here since like. day 1 (trust Z always been a silent enthusiast until i was not silent anymore) ANYWAYS 🙁 so many things… so many things to talk abt… i am not abt to spam you bc i think ill send like 20 asks back to back but. ALEX ALBON MENTION 🔥 you KNOW i have to do it alex albon sighting at the drs zone pt23 atp 😛 ANYWAYS IM SO GLAD WE’RE TALKING ABT LANDO TOO THAT MAN IS EVERYTHING TO ME 😭😭😭😭 my beautiful blue eyed baby ugh he’s perfect… put me in between him and oscar id be set for life! ALSO BROCEDES MENTION WHAT IS BEING NORMAL HAHAHAHAHA. sorry but i love f1 yaoi i can’t even lie that’s literally what pulled me into f1 in the first place 😛🔥 um what else i had one more thing to say… oh yeah yeah you’re absolutely 100% right max and lando ARE definitely bi i can confirm bc i am bi. anyways. if i can’t hold it together you’re definitely getting like. 20 asks from me sorry Z 🙏 anyways lylyly feel better soon:( - 🩷

🩷 and 🤍 have seen my old writing and they still stuck around anyway (old as in from like one month ago LMFAO.)

ALEX ALBON. YOU WERE THERE FOR THE START OF MY OBSESSION. He’s so beautiful I might cry and I love him and Lily and lowkey. I would like to be smashed between the two of them. They can have their way with me idc LET ME IN. LET ME BE BISEXUAL (twin)

And Lando… and Oscar… Never pit two baddies against each other. They can share. I was surprised I only received one (1) Landoscar threesome request because WOW.

AND BROCEDES. Big things coming with that. I can’t spoil yet… It’s pretty good so far. F1 Yaoi is so. So peak.

Max and Lando bi realness. They gotta get this figured out. Editor play the clip of Lando talking about star signs and holding the green flag. Gay as hell…