#this chapter was going on 10k words so i split it in half | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

k-dgn · 18 days ago

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Sana's Web Chapter 5: Working for Your Meals

Reader x Jihyo Words: 10k

You didn't stay too much longer over at Tzuyu's house afterwards. Despite the intense moment the two of you shared, her straightforwardness reared its head again when she had asked you to take your leave after cleaning up and resting a little bit. She had explained it was because Dahyun wouldn't take much longer to arrive at their place, and Dahyun had made it clear how disapproving she was of you after Sana's house party. You didn't mind complying, you didn't need to be up to an ungodly hour every day. Getting home in time sounds nice for a change.

It was getting pretty late, and you hadn't eaten much tonight yet. Tzuyu's place was pretty far away from yours by foot but too close for public transit, and you hadn't arrived by car. You decided you might as well head down a little detour, grab some take-out, and walk home to eat there. You couldn't decide between fried chicken and Chinese food, but since you were eating alone, a decision had to be made. No use in wasting food ordering two meals just for yourself. You settled on Chinese food, and made your way back home.

When you arrived home, you couldn't help but notice the lights were on inside. Strange, you thought, since you didn't remember leaving them on when you left. Then again, who does? If you remember, you'd have turned them off, you rationalized, calming yourself down. You unlocked the front door, walking in, when a strong smell hit your nose like a blow to the face. It was the smell of fried chicken, wafting in from the kitchen. Now this was cause for alarm, because you did for a fact know you didn't leave any fried chicken out to rest before you left. You prepared yourself for whatever could be beyond your hallway, making your way into your living room, before being met with a shock and subsequently calming down. (edited)

Sana was sitting on your couch, getting ready to eat and clearly not having taken notice of your presence, a fresh portion of delivery fried chicken resting on your table. She was wearing a dark blue button up sweater with some black slacks, black socks and as well as her glasses. It wasn't often she wore those over her contacts, usually only after getting comfortable somewhere.

"Ahem?!" You coughed out loud, startling worlds cutest home invader, who shrieked out a yelp before turning to you, seeing you standing there with your arms crossed. She immediately started giggling, the brightest smile at your little surprise before standing up to come and hug you.

"I didn't think you'd be home today anymore! Welcome home, baby~" She talked, turning up her charm to eleven, making you instantly forget and forgive her transgressions. "I ordered some fried chicken to eat. I only have one portion, since I didn't think you'd be back today, but we can share if you want." She went on, playing innocent and avoiding explaining to you why exactly she was here. Nevertheless, her charm cracked your shell.

"Actually, I brought some take-out of my own. I have chinese food though." You replied, you yourself forgetting to ask why she was here. Sana's eyes grew wide in surprise, her mouth agape as she covered it with both her hands.

"No way! I couldn't decide between Chinese or fried chicken! Wanna go half and half?" she squealed, glee in her voice as if she just got the best news in the world.

"You know, I was having the exact same dilemma when I was deciding what to get..." You replied, chuckling and nodding your head in disbelief. "Yeah, let's split!" You agreed to her request, motioning her back to the couch as you followed her closely before sitting down, unpacking your food and setting up in a way you both could share. "So what are we watching?" You asked Sana, her clearly having made herself comfortable at yours already.

"Nothing now! Oh, and before I forgot, Nayeon asked for your number. Do you mind if I give it to her?" She smiled, her eyes closed, glee radiating off of her face, throwing in a question towards you. You smiled back at her, replied with a "That's fine, go ahead." to her question, and looked towards her, curious to what she meant with her first comment but happy to indulge nonetheless. Sana took her plate, and sat herself across from you on the table instead of next to you, her back towards the TV, cross-legged sitting on the floor. "Let's talk about our days! Isn't that more fun, hmm?" She continued, looking at you, her eyes giving the smallest glint of a smirk but her smile still masking it. Something told you she wasn't just randomly asking this question. You couldn't help but think she must have already somehow learned what you did today. Today had filled you with confidence though, so you were down to tango with Sana.

"Sure! Let's talk, how was your day, Sana?" You indulged her, taking the initiative to ask her the question first. If she really knew anything and was forcing your hand to talk about it, stalling by asking her first was sure to at least give you some time to consider the situation. It's not like you didn't want Sana to know or was trying to hide it, you just didn't feel the instant need to tell her about it. You'd also prefer to not know if and who Sana's other sexual partners are if she had any. She was free to, you'd just prefer to not know.

Sana seemed to not mind. She smiled, and actually started casually talking about her day. Apparently, her day was filled with work. She was asked to come to the JYP building and go over all of the outfits she was expected to wear for their next world tour. Apparently, it was pretty custom for them to do a test run of all their outfits once decided, and see if they can swap between them fast enough to not miss their cue for a next performance. If any problems occurred, they knew to change some parts of their outfits to make them easier to swap in and out of.

"I've got some pictures from the outfits, do you want to see them?" She asked, sincerely eager for your response. You nodded yes, and letting out a small vocalization of a "yeah", to which she flipped her phone, showing you a picture of herself in white boots that came right below her knees, a green tube top and miniskirt overlayed by green fishnet-like fabric tied together using lots of string. It was enthralling, her exposed midriff looking like the perfect canvas for you to work with. She noticed you drooling over her, laughed a little in a high pitched voice and turned the phone back towards her. "I knew you'd like that! I even brought it with me here today." She teased you, throwing a wink your way before giggling the cutest giggle you'd ever seen a girl make.

"Wow, I would LOVE to see what that looks like with my own eyes." You flirted back, shooting your shot at her. The corner of her lips went up, as she seemed to expect this response. She replied with a short but resolute "Sure." Before getting up from the floor and moving towards your bedroom. You started to get up as well, thinking this was your cue to go and get her, but she stopped that idea right in its tracks.

"Sit back down, I'll come back when I'm ready~" She taunted you, her head slightly turned to show her side profile which was carrying a cheeky smile to you as she walked away, closing the door behind her. You sat back down, and not two minutes later, just enough time to have eaten but one piece of fried chicken, she'd walked back out of your bedroom, completely dressed in the previously shown garments. She looked enthralling, causing you to have trouble swallowing your food as she stepped over towards you, her hips swaying from one side to the other as she was clearly taking her time. She stepped up to right in front of you, who was just regularly sitting on the couch, leaning back a little with your feet off of the couch. She looked down on you a little, raised both her eyebrows once as if to ask "What do you think?", and confidently straddled your lap with her hands on your shoulders to stabilize her.

"So how was your day~?" She asked you, a little "oop" coming out of her mouth right after asking the question before you could answer, as your body reacted to her provocations, and your cock was pressing against her crotch.

"Only getting better." You replied, trying to match her flirt. You placed your hands on the side of her stomach, grasping her firmly the way you knew she loved, before pulling her in ever so slightly and moving in for a kiss. Sana stopped you before you could reach her lips, her right hand finding its way to your forehead and pushing you back into her seat.

"No no no, big boy. You don't get to unwrap this present until you've made good on your promise." She said, putting you back in your place. She riled you up, only to shoot you down, and you got so flustered you couldn't hide the shock on your face.

"Promise? What promise?" You inquired hastily, needing a memory jog after everything that had happened today. Sana looked a little upset at you asking for clarification, sighed, but told you anyway.

"You promised you'd find me a member we could have a threesome with, remember?" She explained what she meant, causing you to remember what she was talking about. You thought it wasn't as urgent as she made it out to be now, and just something you'd eventually have happen. Clearly, you misread the importance of this for Sana, and steel your resolve to make it a reality sooner rather than later.

"Actually... maybe I did make some progress on that..." You replied, piquing Sana's interest as you were about to spill the beans on what you did today. Sana's face turned to curiosity, her face turning slightly sideways, asking you to continue. "I kind of... fucked Tzuyu... today?" You explained further, your intonation almost as if you were asking a question, your tone slightly apprehensive. You weren't sure how to explain what happened today, and after seeing how competitive she got with Mina at her party, you weren't quite sure how to breach the topic

"Kind of? How do you kind of fuck someone?" Sana challenged your choice of words, before letting you continue.

"Well, we hit it off at that party of yours, and apparently she had some hang ups on her past experiences, which she apparently thought me fit to help with." You explained. You expected Sana to be more shocked at this, but her shock was barely visible through the glee and joy painted on her face as you told her this. You continued to explain how you found each other, her chuckling at you mentioning what a crazy coincidence it was, and you finishing with telling Sana that your fling with Tzuyu was supposed to be a recurring thing.

"Soo Tzuyu already agreed to a threesome then? That's why you're telling me this?" Sana probed, measuring the validity of your answer as she had her doubts about your assertiveness in bringing Tzuyu up. Her excitement for what you were suggesting was clearly palpable though, as she seemed to be rewarding you already, her hips moving back and forth over your lap, grinding against your most sensitive spot.

"Well, no, not yet.." You began to explain, but were interrupted by Sana standing up straight, and getting off of your lap. "I guess you're not getting this tonight then! I'm still staying over to sleep though, it's way too late for me to head home looking this great." She declared, instantly crushing any hope you had of striking a new record on how many different girls you'd fucked in one day.

"I already knew you went to see Tzuyu though, so thanks for not lying! Chaeyoung texted me, she saw you enter her place as she was leaving. You really ought to be more aware of cameras for a guy who makes his living with them." Sana continued berating you, mixing in some weird praise which you couldn't help but feel slightly bitter about. You never were going to lie to her, you had no reason, but her baiting this info out of you got you thirsty for revenge. Her slutty waist in that outfit didn't help with how rough you wanted to be to her in return. Still, if Sana wants to play hard to get and rile you up, you aren't going to lose to her.

Sana moved back to her original eating place, continuing with her food where she left off, as you two furthered your conversation about your days. Sana showed some more pictures of outfits she tried on, and in turn you told her bits about your experience with Tzuyu. You went to bed horny that evening, but not willing to lose to Sana. She made it incredibly hard on you however, as she declared any guest futon or couch you proposed to sleep in or in apart from her was too cold or scary, and absolutely needed to sleep in the same bed as you. It was no accident either then, that on multiple occasions that night, you felt her ass grind against your crotch any time you thought you'd finally cooled down.

You vowed to yourself that night that the first thing you would do in the morning would be to contact Tzuyu, and get this threesome ready to go. Preferably even before Sana leaves your apartment, to maybe get her as far to wrap herself up again. You could only dream.

—

The next morning you'd wake up to your bed emptier than when you fell asleep. Sana had already gotten up and dressed, and you soon did too. You weren't sure if she'd already left your place yet, but were hoping to still catch her before she left. You'd made your way to your living room, where she was seated, getting up the moment you walked in and heading over to put her dirty breakfast plate and utensils in the sink.

"Oh good, you haven't left yet." You noted, wiping some sleep crust from your eyes. Sana looked up at you, a tempered smile turning towards you as she finished cleaning up.

"I'm glad you're excited but as long as you haven't-" Sana began speaking, her tone clear that the next words out of her mouth were going to tease you. Before she had the chance, however, you cut her off, getting straight to the case.

"Hey, yeah, look, about that. I was wondering if you'd give me Tzuyu's number." You appealed to Sana, sticking to your vow from last night. You stared her down, showing how serious you were about this request. You didn't blink or break eye contact, this wasn't just to exchange some horny pics. You were standing on business. Sana was a little taken aback, taking a couple of seconds to collect herself, figuring out what to respond to you.

"If you think I'm going to do your work for you, you're severely mistaken. So no, I won't. Especially not without getting her permission." She replied curtly, pulling up her nose as she made sure you were going to do all the work she needed from you. When it came to treating this princess, there was no cutting corners. You sighed, muttered a still half-asleep "Okay, fine." accepting her response. "Besides, you know where she lives and sleeps now, so you can ask her yourself." She continued, her face turning away from you, a blunt "hmph!" following her explanation, as she walked past you, grabbing her bag from the couch which she already filled with all her belongings before eating and heading out.

"I'll fulfill my promise to you!" You shouted after her. You couldn't see it anymore, but she smirked at your shouted response, a little giggle escaping that you barely managed to catch as she left, leaving you assured she wasn't storming out enraged with you. This was more of a challenge, and you were ready to accept.

Getting into it with Sana today wasn't an option anymore, and as much as you'd like to march over to Tzuyu's house right now and get her geared up for a threesome, there were two things stopping you from doing just that. One, you don't know whether or not she'd be home by the time you'd arrived or if any of her housemates you'd better avoid for now were home. And two, you had work today. You couldn't just take every day off, fucking your worries away.

You did your usual morning routine, getting ready for work, and headed out. Today was a full schedule, shooting an advertisement for a popular underwear brand. As exciting as that sounded, you weren't too thrilled about the models, considering it was male underwear. But whatever, work was work and this paid well. You couldn't help yourself from daydreaming about how you'd handle your request of Tzuyu in between shots, getting more distracted than you'd normally allow yourself to be. You always had your phone on silent during shoots, like a true professional. Wasn't usually a problem, your phone wasn't known to be burning all the time. Today however, you'd face a surprise.

After your work was done, you thanked everyone for their hard work, packed your stuff and checked your phone. You had a couple of messages from an unknown number.

???, 13:52 PM: Hiii~~

???, 13:54 PM: Whatcha dooooin'?

???, 14:06 PM: Don't I just look the cutest in this picture?

???, 16:47 PM: This is Y/N, right??

Attached to the second message was a picture. It was a selfie from Nayeon, in the back of a car wearing a cute pink sweater. She was looking away from the camera, one finger on her chin, a pouty look on her visage. You checked the current time, 17:11. You had left her unresponsive for more than three hours, and in a flurry typed up a response to not keeping her waiting another second.

Y/N: Yes, this is Y/N, and yes, you look very cute!

It wasn't very long before the phone showed your message as read, and you could see her typing up a response.

NY: "I look very cute"? You're a professional photographer and it took you 3 and a half hours just to say I 'look cute'?

You thought your response was fine, but maybe it would have been better to type up a more thought out answer instead of a fast one... You internalized her message, thinking about how to redeem yourself next. Give her feedback on how to take a better selfie? No, you'd definitely get on her bad side if you criticized her now. You thought back to how she was acting with you at Sana's party, maybe her behavior from back then could give you a clue to the proper way forward.

Sana's words rang in your ears. "Nayeon loves the hunt. If she catches you on the first try, you were a boring hunt, and she'd never look your way, ever again." It doesn't look like just acting uninterested is what she would like either. So you'd need to devise a response that is simultaneously playful, flirty, and clearly still showing you don't need her.

Y/N: You look like you want me to kiss you.

Your message was read almost instantly again, and you saw the icon showing she was typing a response pop-up. And then disappear. And then pop-up again, and disappear once more. Was she typing up a response and constantly deleting it? She doesn't know what to say? You weren't sure if this was a good or a bad sign, until eventually, a good 10 minutes later, you finally heard a ding.

NY: Hahaha, and what if I do~~

You breathed a big sigh of relief. Your response was better this time, thank god. If this was the pattern you were supposed to keep up, you think you could somehow manage.

Y/N: Then you'll have to try a little harder, I seem to be in high demand lately and I'm intending on abusing that~

You felt pretty confident in that response, thinking you were locked in on the vibe. You put your phone away, giving her some breathing room to respond this time. After waiting for about 15 minutes without a response, you started to wonder if your message failed to be sent. You checked the chat, and sure enough, it was sent, and she'd already seen it as well. No response however. Did you go too far? You feared your message had turned her off, but decided you couldn't do anything to change that now, and sending a message right now to try and remedy the situation would only serve to make you look desperate. You decided it best to finish packing up and to head home. She'll respond when she wants to.

You had a pretty standard evening, nobody reaching out to you anymore as you finished eating your dinner and sat in front of the tv, thinking about how you were going to solve your predicament with Tzuyu. The sun was already down, so a surprise visit to her house might not be as charming as the dramas on tv might have led you to believe. Before you could really get lost in devising a new strategy, your phone buzzed again. You didn't expect anyone to contact you at this hour, so that only left one person in mind this could be from. You were hoping it was Nayeon. As you unlocked your phone to check, sure enough, you saw you had a new message from Nayeon. Attached was a picture of Nayeon, A selfie taken from a high angle from the waist up, looking like she was lying on a couch at her home. She was wearing a dark blue adidas tracksuit, the zipper ever so slightly open, looking straight into the lens with her lips perched in a kissy face.

NY: How about this then? What do I look like I want from you here? I'll give you a hint, it's very sticky~~

The implication of her message had your body reacting fiercely, but you managed to calm down before unzipping your pants and sending her a dick pic. You couldn't afford to just jump her way now, you had to continue playing the game. You contemplated not responding to her message instantly, but you already viewed it, and she would have surely seen that. If you wanted to make that play, you should have waited to view the message a little longer. You had to think of a good response here, and you had to think fast.

Y/N: How about you wait till you see what you're working with before acting like you can handle it, noona. 😉

Before you could even stow your phone in your pants, it buzzed again, another notification from Nayeon.

NY: Ehhhh? Then show me!

Wasn't that a bit too brazen of her, you thought to yourself. You weren't against the idea, but turning her down now would seem counterintuitive to the flirty part, but you couldn't just show her a picture of your dick like that. That'd be too hasty you felt. Let's throw the ball back into her court, she seems to like setting the pace for now.

Y/N: Hmmmm, nah. You first if you're that into me!

Her response was even faster this time, almost as if she predicted what you were gonna say and was just waiting to hit send.

NY: Okay, now you! Show me what I'm working with~~😘

Attached was a picture, a selfie she must have taken earlier, on a set for a music video they shot. She was visible from the waist up, staring down into the camera, wearing red framed glasses and nothing else. Her tits were exposed, bare for you to feast on. Her smirk was devious, knowing that whoever got to see this picture would devour it. You could no longer hold yourself back, as you rushed to your bathroom mirror, stripped from all clothes, and took a picture for her. You were fully naked, gripping your erect cock by holding the base uptight and staring your lens down. You sent just the picture, getting so lost in your frenzy you didn't type a response to go with it.

You started jerking your cock, in anticipation of what would come next, expecting an evening full of back and forth. Nayeon's response came in, and you eagerly popped open the message, hoping it would motivate you closer to completion.

NY: Wooow, if you were her right now I'd show you that I can handle that. Too bad you're not here~~

No picture attached, but what she wrote might have implied something better. She liked what she saw, and even extended an invitation to you. You put a pair of gray sweatpants on you had laying around, still showing the clear outline of your bulging cock. You wanted to keep sending her pictures of you to rile her up like she riled you up, and took another picture of yourself, flexing your core as hard as you could. You decided a cowboy shot was the play here, just to show her the outline of your cock but that you'd stuffed it away again. You took some time to try out a couple of poses, landed on one you were happy with, and sent it her way with a message attached this time.

Y/N: Don't get too carried away window shopping, I haven't sold you anything yet

Trying to keep her in check, make sure you didn't come over as desperate and too easy to fuck. Maybe you got too carried away with your dick pick, but oh well. Unfortunately, despite reading your message, no further response came that evening. Your conversation with Nayeon fell silent, and you were unsure if you fucked up, or if she just got busy. You shrugged it off, used the polaroid of Sana you'd made to relieve yourself of your pent up frustration, and just ended up going to bed early for once.

—

Another morning came, and right as you were about to sit down and formulate a plan on how to contact Tzuyu without looking like an absolute stalker, your phone rang once more. It seems you've grown quite popular. After yesterday, you decided it was best to not expect anything. You still couldn't help but be a little surprised when you picked up your phone and had a new message from Mina.

MN: We should talk. Update on your job prospects at JYP. Come by the building today at 3 PM.

That sound ominous you dreaded. You felt a wave of cold sweat form on your body. You spent too much time fucking around, literally, instead of focusing your time on leaving a good impression on all the girls. A whole week went by and all you did was get dirty with Tzuyu and text inappropriately with Nayeon. Whatever, time to face those consequences. You recollected yourself and typed up a response.

Y/N: Okay, I'll be there!

The rest of your day until you left was spent mentally languishing over what to wear, what to say and what to expect. You dressed up quite nicely, and ended up leaving half an hour early. If traffic ended up being a hassle, you'd have some wiggle room to still be on time. No way in hell you'd be late today. You ended up needing some of your time budget, as finding a parking spot turned out to be quite the challenge. You still managed to make it about 15 minutes early. You went inside, and just waited in the lobby for Mina to come find you. Without an employee ID, you had no chance of going any further and finding her yourself, so you might as well get comfortable. Not even 5 minutes after sitting down, you'd heard a familiar voice addressing you.

"You're early, that's good! Shows you care." It was Mina, who had crept up to you from behind and stood with her arms crossed. She was as stunning as always, wearing a patterned pencil skirt, with a white shirt tucked into it. Baggy socks were stuffed into her white flat shoes, and she tied the outfit together with a dark navy jeans jacket.

"On time is too late!" You responded with confidence, wanting to cement how serious you were about going for this gig full time. Mina chuckled a bit at this remark before giving you another response.

"Hehe, I like that. I'm going to hold all men in my life to that standard from now on." She responded approvingly. You smiled proudly at her remark, glad you could impress. "Follow me, let's talk for a bit?" Mina sort of meekly propositioned, turning halfway towards going deeper into the building, to which you nodded and beckoned her to lead the way. You started walking deeper into the halls, and Mina continued. "Let's get straight to the point. We held a vote today on whether or not you should get the job." She started explaining, and you felt your heart drop, expecting the worst. "It was a tie. Four of us voted in favor of you, and four of us voted against. One vote ended chickening out and hasn't voted yet. She's been given three days to decide, at which point the decision will be final." You weren't sure if you should feel relieved or if you should feel even more stressed out. If a conclusion was made right now, that would have been the end of it and you could have moved on with your life. But now you know there are three days for this life impacting decision to take hold? This would be the difference between a cozy, well-paying, secure job and shooting uninspired commercial shoots erratically for the next ten years. In any case, you'd been given a chance, and steeled your resolve.

"I see. I'll have to do whatever I can to convince the doubter then." You replied resolutely, your eyes as sharp as ever. Mina admired your determination. She had decided before you arrived that based on your response whether or not she'd help you. Safe to say, you convinced her. She replied to your statements with a final question to check your sincerity.

"You think you have what it takes?" The same fierce, piercing gaze you only saw on her when she wanted to devour you appeared here, showing how serious this was to her. You nodded back to her, and didn't break eye contact for a single second. You were determined. "Good." Mina responded, a small sigh escaping her as she closed her eyes, smirked and determined herself to help you as well.

"Sana, Tzuyu, Momo and I voted in favor of you. I'm not sure how you convinced Tzuyu, but why Sana and I are in your corner should be obvious. Momo ended up just following her gut and trusting in Sana in me. The ones who voted against you were Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Dahyun and Chaeyoung. You know what that means, right?"

"I have three days to convince Jihyo..." You muttered out, already thinking about a way to manifest that. "I'll do it, but I must say, I didn't expect that result." You replied, your eyes inquisitively searching for clues on this turnout from Mina.

"Don't look at me! You've had little over a week to convince everyone. It's your job to show you know how to go above and beyond, Twice won't settle for ordinary. For now, you're barely scraping by. The only reason Jihyo is doubting and didn't vote against you is because Tzuyu was so resolute in voting in favor of you!" Mina explained, teasing your failure at impressing the other girls the way you impressed her.

"Yeah no, that's fair. I won't ask for anything else Mina, since you've already helped me this much, but could you please tell me where to find Jihyo today?" You pleaded with Mina, clasping her both hands in between your palms, causing her usually soft-spoken self to come out once more and blush visibly, causing her to avert her gaze from you.

"She's in a meeting right now... She said she would go work out here once she's done to properly think it over..." She answered your question, her volume having lowered drastically. Your laser-focus on the task at hand made it so you caught all that without a problem anyways.

"Thank you so much! Wait, I have no idea where she works out... and I can't bother her in a meeting. Alright, I'll start planning out the fastest route in between all gyms in a 2 kilometer radius and continuously visit each one until I eventually stumble into her! I got this!" You started rambling, trying your crazy best to maximize what little time you had. You started walking away, as you were already planning everything out on your phone before Mina's volume was raised behind you, addressing you once more.

"Stop, you dummy!" She shouted in a volume you could barely call shouting. Her fists were clenched beside her body, and her eyes closed, slowly opening up to look at you turning around again. "You'll never find her that way. She's going to work out in the gym in this building." She continued to explain as you walked back to her, letting her finish. You only now realized how insane your ramblings must have sounded. At least you showed real spirit! "I'll help, so don't go acting all crazy. I'll let you into the gym after she enters, okay?" Your eyes sparkled with gratitude, excitement and thankfulness to Mina's assistance, and you were quick to respond in kind.

"You are the best, Mina! How can I ever make it up to you?!" You almost shouted throughout the hallway you were in, trumping her volume with ease.

"Come pick me up after you've finished talking with Jihyo..." She responded, meekly, unable to meet your eager gaze. You heard her fine, but you still had to wonder if you heard her correctly. It's not like you didn't want to do that for her, but you hardly thought the exchange was fair. You owed her so much more!

"Come pick you up? Is that all, are you sure?" You questioned her, making sure you really did catch everything.

"Yeah... Come pick me up and take me to your place tonight, we haven't been alone together for a while now..." She mumbled, gathering all her courage to get those words out. You understood what she was saying, and promised her you would. You swore you'd spend as much time with her as she wanted, before she ushered you away to go get a fitting outfit for entering a gym. You were too far from home to go there and come back to get your gym clothes, so you just decided to sprint out the JYPe building and visit the nearest shop you could find that sold gym clothes, bought whatever looked best they had there and rushed back over to Mina who once more allowed you access to their building.

You followed Mina into an elevator, where she ushered you into, until you reached the floor on which the company gym was located. Man, an entire private gym inside of this building really is nuts... passed your mind. If you perform well enough now, you might be enjoying those benefits soon as well. You kept following Mina, in a silence that was anything but awkward. Rather, you were being so introspective on how to tackle what was about to happen, and Mina had no intention of disrupting your focus.

"Alright, these are the changing rooms. That door over there leads to the gym. Good luck?" She finally spoke up, unsure on what else to say but the bare minimum. You took in all the information she so graciously gave you, gave her a determined nod and pulled her in tightly for a strong hug. The scent of jasmine filled your nose as your bodies got closer to each other. The floral notes were a pleasant touch, and you came to expect nothing less from a woman like Mina.

"Thank you, really. This means a lot to me!" You further explained. She gasped a little on your sudden embrace, but she didn't fight back or resist it. Rather, she got quite comfortable in your arms, before your hands found their way to her arms, pushing her back again, giving her a confident smile and leaving into a changing room. Right before stepping into the room, you remembered to ask: "Wait! When I'm done, where will I find you?"

"Ah, right. I'll be waiting in the artist lounge, it's on floor 9." She responded, a little shy from your brazen actions, so much so she forgot to tell you this in advance. If it wasn't for you remembering, she would've forgotten to tell you as well.

You went into the changing room, got dressed, took a deep breath and walked out. The hall here was empty now, just you and a door behind which you could find Jihyo. You took another deep breath, calming yourself down, before opening the door and stepping in. The lights were very bright, as they tended to be in gyms, and despite the size of the gym, there was nobody there, apart from Jihyo. You spotted her way before she spotted you. She was wearing a dark pink, sporty crop top, and some incredibly tight, form-fitting yoga pants, color matching her black sneakers.

She was doing some bench presses, repping an impressive 60kg weight, from what you could tell. You approached, and already cleared your throat to make her aware of your presence. Jihyo didn't respond to your noises, the wireless earbuds in her ears you happened to notice probably to blame for that. You kept making your way to the head of her bench, and assumed a spotters position in front of the sweating beauty. She was in the middle of a rep when you assumed your position and as she opened her eyes on the upwards press, she couldn't help but be surprised by your sudden appearance. She let out a loud yelp, as her grip weakened on the bar and she could feel it slipping down. You expected something like that to happen though, and caught the bar before anything bad could happened. Jihyo calmed down, you put the bar back in it's restraints, and she took out both of her earbuds.

"You're the last person I wanted to see right now, do you know that?" Jihyo sneered at you, but not forcefully. There was no malice in her tone, more of an exhausted resignation to your presence here. You couldn't help but throw up an awkward smile in response. Hard to blame her feeling that way, causing her to be put in this stressful position and then showing up just when you wanted to take her mind off of things.

"Yeah, well, I figured as much, but surely you understand why I showed up right?" You plead your case, already resolved to not wasting anymore time. Jihyo scoffed at what you said as she sat up straight on the bench, turning around to face you.

"Before I let you plead your case, how about you tell me about how you even got in here." Jihyo retorted. She was going to hear you out, but she was making sure you knew she wasn't going to let anything slide. Clearly she was not sold on you, and you had better make a good case.

You were used to sweating in a gym, but this was the first time it was cold. "Truth be told, I'm just as surprised as you are..." You respond in a quiet voice, as if you were trying to untangle a mess of knotted threads inside your own head. You thought you'd gotten used to speaking to these idols by now, but clearly her presence was different. She raised an eyebrow at your comment, her gaze beckoning you to continue.

"All I know is that Mina called me over literally just now, and told me that the fate of my career was hanging in your hands." you went on to explain, your hands frantically following your voice in an attempt to convince Jihyo of your sincerity.

"So she is the one that let you in here?" Jihyo questioned, almost as if she was asking you who to punish. You immediately retreated. Mina gave you this chance, and asked so little for it, no way you were going to throw her under the bus.

"Wait, it's not her fault, I asked her to let me know where you are! I basically convinced her to give me a chance, she just told me to find a way to convince you, I assured her this was my only play." Both your hands clasped around Jihyo's hands, pleading with her for kindness. She was taken aback, but she didn't seem upset at your forwardness. In fact, she was rather impressed by your willingness to stick your neck out for her, but she wasn't about to let you in on that.

"Riiiight... Well, for better or worse, you're here now." She acknowledged, taking her hands back and crossing her arms over each other. You gave her a bit of an awkward smile, one you could liken to an oaf who knew he was out of his element. She released her right arm, motioning for you to finally start making your case.

"Oh yeah, exactly! First of all, thank you for not immediately voting no." You started off explaining, not really sure where this was going yourself, but just hoping your thoughts came across.

"Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up just yet. What's your second-of-all?" Jihyo continued pressing you, still not convinced of your grand entrance.

"And, second of all, I came to beat you." You smirked, posing an enigmatic challenge.

"Beat me? Like physically hurting me?" She taunted back, clearly making fun of the weird phrasing you used.

"No! Of course not! I was talking about that conversation we had at the party. I can definitely beat you in a gym competition." You clarified, but now unmistakably posing the challenge. Jihyo smirked back at you, clearly intrigued by what you were suggesting, her original hostility dissipating as a fire seemed to have been lit under her.

You look at her with such confidence and determination, you almost intimidate her, her mind backing away from this challenge for a fraction of a second before she pushes back and takes you head on. You could tell from just one look. She was in.

"Alright, how do you wanna do this? And I'm assuming we're both putting something on the line, correct?" Jihyo questioned, trying to set the terms of this little agreement you came to suggest. Her eyes were burning a hole through your skull as she was hungrily awaiting the route she'd have to take to destroy you. You weren't shaken, however, confident in your body and its finely honed muscles.

"How about this? We'll go for three rounds, each round betting something that the winner gets. We each suggest one exercise we do, which will be round 1 and 2. For round 3, we'll settle with an endurance contest, whoever can plank the longest wins." You laid out your plan, meticulously thought out to get her to agree but also allow you to obtain all your objectives. The obvious one was getting her to change her vote to a yes. But before that, you had a new, more important objective to achieve. Getting her to not go after Mina for letting you in here in the first place. Jihyo thought about your proposal for a little while. Her eyes drifted upwards, thinking about all the different things your game would imply. She stopped to contemplate for half a second to think if this was worth it or not, before throwing caution to the wind and agreeing anyway, because she just thought this would be fun.

"Sounds good! I'll choose squatting as my exercise." She accepted. The game was on. You shot back without missing a beat. "And I'll choose pull-ups." The game was set. A quick match of rock paper scissors decided the order. Pull-ups, then squats, and then planking. You slapped both of your cheeks, getting yourself and your blood pumping, ready to take this challenge.

You both shook hands on fair play. Her grip was tight, but her skin was as soft as a cloud. Your fighting spirit almost got diminished, drowned in the perverted thought of how good her velvety touch would feel on your cock. You quickly snapped out of it, but maybe stayed in that trance long enough to want to make that idea become a reality if you won 3 games in a row.

Jihyo's playful demeanor turned vicious, a cold stare piercing your entire being. The game was on, and despite her being committed to playing fair, she wasn't going to play nice. "If I win this round, you will never contact any of my members, ever again. That sounds like a fair trade-off for you asking for my yes vote, right?" If she was being honest with herself, Jihyo knew that this first round was as good as yours; however, she wanted to see how you'd react to such an ultimatum. Would you try to talk her out of it? Would you call the whole thing off?

Her demand was stunning. It hit you like a truck. A big loss to take if you lost this round, but you pretty much already bought in at this point. Whatever, you just had to win in that case. You continued, making your demand. "I'm not gonna ask for your yes vote just yet. If I win this round, you'll not go after Mina for letting me in here." Jihyo recoiled, clearly shocked at your request. You could read it on her face, clear as day. She fully expected you to go for the yes vote here, as this was your round, and had your highest chance of yielding positive results. But instead, you chose to cover for Mina. She couldn't help but be impressed.

Truth be told, this was your best exercise, so you did think about just asking for the yes vote here. But you just couldn't get it over your heart to screw Mina like that. You were going to take this win to first make sure Mina didn't get in trouble, and then win that yes vote, fair and square. Jihyo agreed to your request, as you did to hers, and the two of you competed in the first round.

Jihyo went first, you two taking turns, so you could judge each other's forms for no foul play. She jumped up, arms hanging on the bar, and she looked right at home. Her muscles glistened with the sweat she had already worked up before you got here. Her abs had beads of sweat piled up in the crevices, and it took everything you had to not just gawk at her body. You persevered, your conviction for winning this competition strong enough to pull through. She flexed her arms, and pulled her entire body up, chin above the bar. First one done, and her form was immaculate. There were no cracks or slip ups, you might even stand to learn a thing or two. If she was taking this so seriously, you had no chance of not matching her explosive energy. She went at it for a little while, her form never crumbling, only growing slower. It took her a full 14 pull ups before she lost the strength to go for another one.

You stepped up to the plate. You stretched a little before jumping up to the bar, taking in a deep breath, and doing it like you always do. Inhale going up, exhale going down. First one done. Inhale going up, exhale going down. Jihyo's intense gaze was hyper focused on you. Nothing strange about it, she was judging your form for flaws. Inhale going up, exhale going down. You sneaked a peek at her, her eyes matching you, raising her eyebrow inquisitively at your sudden eye contact. Did you have time to flirt during this? She felt taunted, and would go on to get you back for this perceived slight, but you were just having your trouble ignoring a beautiful woman right in front of you. Inhale going up, exhale going down. You're at 12 now. You could do 20 of these with no worries, inhale going up, exhale going down. 15th pullup done, and you had officially won, but you were so focused on not staring at Jihyo, you just kept going.

"Okay, you won, you can come down now." Jihyo lamented, urging you to release the bar. You didn't hear any of it though. Inhale going up, exhale going down. "No need to brag, you can stop now." She continued. Inhale going up, exhale going down. You're at 19 now, but you weren't counting. If you were looking at Jihyo's face, you'd have noticed her getting annoyed at how you weren't listening. In her mind, she was searching for ways to make you listen, when suddenly, it hit her. You were halfway up on your 20th pullup, when a sudden breeze caused you to snap out of your trance. Jihyo had pulled your pants down, getting her revenge for your multiple bragging offenses. Your entire package was on full display, and it was not your fault you were kind of erect. Jihyo's physique mixed with the fact that working out always made you horny got you like this. You wasted no time releasing the bar, and pulling your pants back up.

You scowled at Jihyo over this. You weren't upset she saw your dick, hell, part of you was kind of happy she did, but you, lost in your trance, thought she cheated to make you lose. "At least I get why Sana is coming back to you now." Jihyo remarked, her hand covering her mouth to hide her smile.

Unbeknownst to both of you, Sana had gotten wind of what you were up to. She had snuck in, peeping through the cracks of the door of the gym to see how you were doing. She wasn't going to let you know, but she was cheering you on. She also hadn't ever had the chance to see you working out, so she decided to snap a picture of you trying your very best. She'd make up for the creepiness to you personally at some point later. Her timing couldn't be any better though, as to her own surprise, she caught the exact moment your cock flopped out of your pants, halfway in a pullup, with Jihyo's hands still attached to your pants. She left quickly after this, much preferring hearing the rest of the details personally from you than witnessing them here and now.

Cutting back to you and Jihyo, you were in the middle of belting out a big "What the hell?!" at Jihyo for her little prank. She got flustered at your anger, thinking you'd take it better. You couldn't help it though, you thought she just threw her fair play away and cheated you out of your win. "You were the one taunting me and bragging excessively after your win! Honestly, you brought this on yourself. And besides, now we are even for what happened at Sana's party!" Jihyo crackled back at you, like fireworks exploding in your face. The realization of your win had only now begun to set in, calming you down. It also helped that Jihyo bringing back the memory of her perfect, bare-naked chest got you to mellow out as well.

"So that means you're not going to hold Mina accountable, right?" You confirmed, your loud voice shrinking to a more appropriate indoor volume. Jihyo nodded her head and confirmed your question.

"Yep. You have my word. Are you ready for the squats?" She hurried along, as if ready to humiliate you the way you humiliated her. You took this round, but she was confident she would take the next.

"I am. And this time I will take that yes vote if I win." Your demand was clear. You got your good deed out of the way, now it's time to take what you came for. "Are you still going to force me to cut all contact?" You questioned. You figured she would, and that you just had to squat like your life depended on it. Her response was a welcome one, however.

"Nope. I'm changing my stake." She clarified. This time a sly smirk on her face, in stark contrast to her winter cold visage from earlier. "If I win, you will become my gym buddy for an entire year. You'll stay my gym buddy until I can beat you in every body weight exercise there is. And if I call you up to come work out, you can't say no, even if you're balls deep in Sana. Or Mina." Your face scrunched up. This didn't sound too bad? Yeah, you could handle this. It's way better than her first stake. She looked a lot more amicable, but no less feisty than when you first proposed this challenge. But wait. "You know about me and Mina?" You appealed, certain that the only three people who knew were you, Sana and Mina herself.

"I had my suspicions since Sana's party, but thanks for confirming them. We can open that can of worms if you manage to get a yes vote out of me, but for now I'll not interfere because they seem more content and docile, making my job easier." Jihyo elucidated, exposing the fact that you had walked right into her trap. You berated yourself internally for exposing yourself like this, and vowed to watch out for this girl. She wasn't just pretty and strong, she had the brains to match.

"Fuck." You let slip out. She giggled at your honest reaction, but the time for the next round was upon you. You shook on your stakes, and you both took position in front of the mirror wall. Side by side, so you could spectate each other for mistakes, while you both vied for the win.

The non-existing starting shot went off in both of your heads, and sweat started flying the brows of you both. It didn't take long for you to already read the results of this round. You were getting slaughtered. It hadn't been 30 squats yet, and you already felt your legs cramping up. Jihyo, on the other hand, looked like she hadn't even begun yet. Her form never crumbling, and her perfectly trained media smile just taunting you, as she caught on to your desperate staring. Searching for any clues of imperfection proved fruitless.

"You can just quit and we can move on to the last game!" She jeered joyfully, taking incredible delight in the fact that she was smoking you. You'd be lying if you said you didn't consider it, but you had other plans. It might have been a little dirty, but you were betting on the fact that Jihyo had been working out for a little while before you got here. You weren't gonna win this round, but you could tire her out this round. Push her stamina to its limit, and then just hold on longer during the planking. Your core, contrary to your legs, was a part of you you had the utmost of faith in.

"Heh, yeah right." You pushed out in between laborious breaths, accompanied by a forced chuckle. You hadn't been spending too much time with Jihyo, but you could tell by now. She cocked her head to the side, shrugged her shoulders a little and focused up, almost as if to say she respected your grit.

Despite your greatest of efforts, by consecutive squat 80 you had to throw in the towel. "I'm going to enjoy working you to the bone, gym buddy!" Jihyo jabbed, her hand giving a light push against your shoulder as you stood there, bent over, hands on your knees. You were a bit of a sore loser at this point. It would have been nice to get that yes vote, so you decided to snap back.

"You only mentioned having to come even when balls deep in Sana or Mina, right? So it's cool to ignore you while I'm having some fun with Tzuyu?" You ran your mouth off. Partly out of competitive spirit, partly because exhaustion was beginning to take its toll on you. Jihyo went agape, jaw on the floor, like she just saw a ghost.

"You're shitting me! You got that far with her? I thought you just walked her dogs or something!" Jihyo almost yelled, the disbelief of your reveal coupled with her exhaustion stopping her from holding back. You gave a sly smirk back to her, as if proud of your conquest.

"You don't know what you're missing out on." You quipped back, showing you hadn't lost your confidence after this defeat. You were still in it to win it. You had picked up on a couple of Jihyo's tells, but you didn't know what this one meant yet. She had her tongue slightly protruding out between both her lips, and her eyes went just that tiniest bit wider. She was attracted to you, but you had no way of knowing it just yet. "Anyways, I still want the same thing for round 3. What's your ask?" You told the girl, calming down from your little back and forth.

"Alright then, big guy. Let's see you put your money where your mouth is." Jihyo started off, giving a rebuttal to your taunts. "If I win, I get the rights to your dick for a month. If I end up doing something with that or leave you horny will depend on your future performance, gym buddy" She declared, making the final stake of the game clear. She was like a monster, her tiny stature appearing larger than was physically possible. The idea of her controlling your dick was appealing, but dangerous. Fail to push past 100 squats, and who knows, she might just force you into celibacy for a month. Losing this round might feel worse than dying... But you had come this far.

"I can't back out now." You resigned, brimming with determination.

"Alright, but don't come begging to me when you feel like you're going to explode!" She playfully wisecracked back, joking for the last time before taking a deep breath and gaining a deadly look in her eyes. She was done joking, and ready to win this thing. You felt kind of flattered that she looked like she was going to try this hard to win your dick, but equally frightened that she might have wanted to render it useless.

You both got down on the floor, forearms pressed into the floor as your toes kept you upright. By this point, you were both exhausted, but too deep in to not finish this fight.

It was over before you realized it. It took over 3 and a half minutes for Jihyo to crack and drop to the floor. You got close too. You considered quitting, but even if your abs turned blue from bruises caused by overexertion, you would get this win.

Jihyo rolled over onto her back, her face towards the ceiling with a wide smile adorned onto her sweaty visage. You couldn't help but drop to the floor as well, but in contrast to the beauty next to you, you ended quickly regaining posture and sitting cross-legged, facing her. She had lost, but she was smiling. If you weren't in so much pain, you'd have diverted all your energy into hitting on her right here, and right now. That's how attractive she looked to you. But you won, so you would not risk upsetting her with unnecessary advances and cause your win to be meaningless.

"I am going to..." she began to speak, her own puffing and panting interrupting her speech. "Enjoy training with you, y/n..." She's rubbing her second round win in your face again. Unbelievable. "As well as..." She continued, with labored breaths. "Having you work for us." Your face lit up. She acknowledged your win, and basically softly confirmed which way she would vote. You were in! A short scream for joy left your body, as you pulled your fist into the sides of your body, celebrating the pay off of your hard work.

You were so lost in your elation, you barely noticed Jihyo working herself up. She'd gotten herself to sit in front of you, sharing your joy as she sat on her knees. You instantly snapped out of it, focusing on what was happening around you the second you felt a tingling sensation on your dick. You've always known that exercising got you horny, and the sight of Jihyo only enhanced that. It didn't take an eagle's eye to spot your erection, all it took was Jihyo's perceptive gaze.

She had begun leaning forward, her left hand posed upon your right thigh, supporting her body as she inched closer, and her right hand had found its way, palmed around the bulge in your pants. "It's a shame I lost though, you and I could have had a lot of fun." Jihyo smirked, a sly grin taunting your victory as she offered a different destiny.

Her elbows pushed together, her tits squeezed in between the tiny space she left them, looking absolutely divine, inviting you in. "I would have done things to you that you can't even imagine with the other girls..." Her words sizzled and cooked your mind, as her arms squeezed her tits even tighter. You couldn't help it. No man could. You looked down, stealing a peek at her chest, instantly looking back up at Jihyo, but way too obvious. She knew, she saw. But all she did to acknowledge it, was lift both her eyebrows up and down rapidly, before giving you a wink as if to ask: "How about it? Want to change your ask?"

You considered it for a tenth of a second. "As enticing as that is... I am more than happy with the current outcome." Your reply was defiant and resolute, causing Jihyo to pull back and giggle behind her hand. "Good answer. I like a man who doesn't falter." She commended you, and you couldn't shake the feeling like you just passed a test. "The vote is yours. I'll vouch for you." Jihyo finished up, standing up right and turning away from you. Her walk away from you was like your final little reward, her ass swaying from left to right as you couldn’t help but stare. She raised her hand as if waving at you without turning back to address you, speaking her last words before leaving the gym.

“I’ll see you the day after tomorrow in this gym. I’ll get your number from Sana and text you the hour you need to be here. Don’t be late!” And with that, she was gone. You achieved your goal, but sacrifices had to be made. No matter, truth be told, you kind of looked forward to it. It gave you a chance to get to know Jihyo better.

You cherished the victory for the little while you had, before also getting up, and leaving the gym as well. You made a promise to Mina, and it was time to live up to that.

#kpop fanfic #kpop smut #twice #twice smut #twice sana #sana #twice nayeon #nayeon #twice mina #mina #twice jihyo #jihyo

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peggyao3 · 3 months ago

Text

Relic - Pt. 8 "Rowing in Eden"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: ✧ Dreams are messages from the deep ✧

A woman from the unknown comes to Feyd in his dreams and his nights become his days as he flees to the dreamscape to escape the nightmares that haunt his waking hours.

TAGS: 18+, smut, she/her AFAB FMC, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum, Feyd-Rautha's big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, Frank Herbert would frown, some politics, implied/referenced (child) abuse ❗, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts ❗, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable!Feyd, Emotional!Feyd, Possessive!Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, implied/referenced cannibalism ❗, implied/referenced murder

WORD COUNT: 4.6k

A/N: Saw myself forced to split this chapter in half becase you won't catch me uploading a 10k chaptie 😭 Hence why the alternative title for this one is "Blue Balls" 💙🥰

Reposted from my Ao3 💕| Masterlist | Relic Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

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Giedi Prime, Day 4

Quietly, she stands on the balcony of her room, forearms on the banister as a stormy breeze ruffles her clothes. The wind brings no refreshment, it only moves the smog around.

The city below reminds her of Neu-Seoul paired with industrial power plants as far as the eye can see and post-apocalyptic wasteland, a planet groaning and moaning for plant life and to be freed of the human plague that festers on its crust, much like Old Earth. She is quite used to toxic air, but this atmosphere is a little worse even than that of her former home.

A rumbling crack had startled her yesterday while she was trying to inconspicuously scan the Harkunnin language and grammar from the audiovisual filmbook recording that was given to her. Her personal maid, a woman named Lilia, had reassured her that that was just the volcanic activity deep within the bowels of the planet and nothing to worry about.

The engineer from Old Earth has a slightly different opinion on that, but she had thanked Lilia with a smile and rewinded the filmbook to proceed committing the data to her chip.

Looking over her shoulder now, she sees Lilia's pale, bald head moving about, filling the wardrobe with clothes that have just been delivered. The Harkonnen woman doesn't seem as malnourished as the ones she had seen on her first day.

The relic doesn't like the fact that a stranger has access to her chambers where her sarcophagus stands, folded back together so that nothing visually gives away any of the heresy inside.

A notification lights up her virtual interface. The AI tool has finished compiling the Harkunnin vocabulary and sorted it in an appealing, searchable array. Now she only needs to acquire a filmbook about Galach and scan that too, so she can start cross referencing in her virtual, little lexicon. Her eyes focus back on the room and the interface dissolves when she takes notice of Lilia's pale hand waving at her.

"Your new pants, my Lady!" The maid lifts a pile of garments, some of them even colorful. The Lady had (unknowingly) requested colors which are expensive to import, the costliest one being purple. Of course, such expenditures are to be expected for the new Lady of House Harkonnen and Lilia had spared neither trouble nor expenses to ensure her wardrobe is as she desires. Being assigned to the woman from Old Earth, a place which Lilia had assumed to be only the stuff of mysteries, is the best promotion that ever could have happened to the maid.

"I love them already. I can't go another day with my bare thighs touching under these gowns." The woman steps into the suite, pulling the balcony door and the curtains shut so the color stealing sunlight is barred out. Lilia looks at her like she doesn't quite understand the remark about her thighs, though that may be due to the fact that Harkonnens, regardless of gender, appear to be completely and entirely hairless except for their lashes.

"Can I try them on?" The relic asks, pointing at the trousers.

"Of course you can, my Lady. Like I said, you don't need to ask me for permission for anything."

"But it's good manners to ask."

Lilia likes this woman even though she asks curious questions sometimes, such as how high her salary is and if she has health insurance, followed by a lengthy explanation about what health insurance is. She likes her because she talks to her like she's a human, which is typically something that no one above her rank ever does, save for Lilia's own husband.

The new pants fit perfectly and there is no need to try them all on, but she does so anyway because it's fun and it distracts her from the painful waiting for her beloved.

"When will Feyd be here?" She finally inquires after the eighth pair of pants which she keeps on because they're comfortable.

"I'm afraid I don't know, my Lady. The na-Baron has a busy schedule."

That he does, she grimly notes. He never used to be so busy in their dreams, she had him all for herself. After 24,000 years of sleep and 2 years with the Bene Gesserit, she only just got him back. Is it wrong of her to want to spend every minute of every day with him?

Lilia suggests: "If it pleases you, I could do your makeup before the na-Baron arrives."

"Ah, that's very kind of you, but no thank you."

Lilia seems to be the multi-purpose kind of handmaid, being a skilled seamstress and stylist who even boasts experience with hair, a rare skill set on Giedi Prime. Proudly, Lilia had proclaimed that she has a personal knack for medicine and trauma management without leaving but a scar. The relic still wonders if this is a commonly needed skill around here…

"Then I'll leave you to your own devices." Lilia hasn't failed to notice the oftentimes absent look in the Lady's eyes, as if she's not quite there. Although the maid is impossibly curious and precariously drawn to danger (a trait which she has learned to suppress), she won't urge the foreigner for stories or company. They're not friends.

The relic glances over when her handmaid slips out of the room and the open door briefly reveals the guard who is stationed in front of it. She can only hope he has been placed there to keep unwelcome visitors out, not to keep her inside. So far, she's had no desire to test it.

Neither the idea of leaving her Sarcophagus unattended nor wandering around the palace pyramid on her lonesome seem awfully inviting.

She returns to the balcony, forearms on the banister, and her expression flattens. Melancholy glazes over her eyes and she summons the interface to blank out the depressing concrete jungle that spews smog into the sky from roaring chimneys. The only improvement is that she is now wearing pants.

While she should start studying the Harkunnin language or delve into the Holtzman physics (something about it sparked vague recognition in her), she ends up loading up a serial to watch on her interface, denying herself the luxury to sit down. Because if she gets too comfortable, she fears she will forget where she is and break down as soon as she shuts off the stream.

Feyd watches her stand there, clothes ruffled by the breeze, herself unmoving in the grey light, in the toxic air. Her back is turned to him and for twenty minutes she hasn't stirred.

Carefully, he had deposited the three long-stemmed crowns of thorns on the vanity when he realized she wasn't going to turn around. They're the only native flower on Giedi prime, all thorny, dark-grey stems and white petals.

On quiet soles, he steps out on the balcony, almost breathing down her neck. All day he's been thinking of her. Every second apart is a little death and he had hoped she would fall into his arms the second he came through the door. From an angle, he studies her face, pupils dancing. She looks sad and he can't see why. For a second, he contemplates stealing the chip out of her skull when she sleeps.

But for that, they'd have to start sleeping in each other's beds first.

"What are you doing there, my darling?" A pair of toned arms encircles her from behind and she yelps, shutting down the stream and the interface.

"Feyd!" She attempts to spin around and face him, but Feyd pins her back to his chest, humming as he buries his nose in the crown of her head. She hugs his forearms against her stomach, craning her head to find his pale-blue gaze. Feyd's nose slides across her head and he kisses her forehead.

"You looked sad."

"Yes, because I've missed you." That is very much true, though she conceals the fact that rewatching her old favorite serials had nearly broken her heart. Her answer placates him for a minute and he presses the front of his body against the back of hers, squeezing her like he's seen her squeeze the stuffed animal of hers.

"How are you?" He murmurs.

"Good!" She replies a bit too quickly and inhales like a liar caught in the act.

"You don't like it," Feyd doesn't ask, he states, and disappointment reverberates in his tone. He knew this, yet his chest hollows itself out with a blunt carving knife.

"The place is just… Different than I thought." She squeezes the forearms that hold her.

"But I'm here," he mumbles and presses his nose against her temple.

"Yes, I feel better when you're here." Finally, he allows her to turn around in his embrace and face him properly. They're so close, he can feel the expansion of her thorax with every breath. Blue eyes lovingly trail over her face.

"Did your maid not offer to do your makeup?"

Her stomach sinks and she blinks quickly. "Don't you like me without makeup anymore?"

"No! That's not what I-" Feyd scrambles for words, cupping her jaws and neck. "I just wondered if she offered. If not, we'll replace her. You're supposed to have only the best maids and servants one can-"

"Stop." She interrupts him firmly, shaking herself as if to free herself from his hands, which can't be what she means, so Feyd keeps holding her. "Lilia is wonderful, I don't want her replaced."

"Hmmph." Feyd gives his agreement and wonders if she had ever called him 'wonderful'. Slowly, he lowers his face, closes his eyes and slots his lips against hers, moving sensually as he presses their bodies flush. Her spine pushes right against the banister and her breasts against his chest. All day, he's been fantasizing about this. Today he'll finally be brave enough and take her to bed, there's nothing to be afraid of.

But he can tell she's thinking, thinking again, always thinking so much instead of giving herself to him unconditionally.

She kisses him with closed lips, like a parting gift before she speaks. "There are… Things that I feel like we should talk about."

Feyd exhales a short, hard breath against her face. "Like what?"

"I can't kiss you without thinking of, well, everything," she sighs and gestures over her shoulder. "This planet is… I don't know what I expected."

"Then let's go inside, so you don't have to see the planet." Feyd tugs on her waist and she allows him to guide her inside, walking backwards and pulling her with him. But when he attempts to kiss her, she clutches his lapels and shakes her head.

"It's not just that. It's the people. You're keeping slaves to work at your palace."

Not only in the palace, Feyd thinks to himself. If she knew about the slave fields…

"No one is having fun, everyone looks the same and everyone seems to be scared for their lives!" She inhales harshly and Feyd's fingers trail down her waist and spine, proactively grasping at the fabric in case she wants to tear away from him.

A muscle along his jaw flexes lightly before he speaks. "Well you don't survive wars by having fun and being fair to other humans, do you?"

"No, but-" she stumbles. "That was different. We left Earth with a higher purpose, to save our species from extinction. It was logistically impossible to bring every single human to a new home."

"We also serve a higher purpose. To maintain our status and power among the Great Houses, we cannot grant every citizen the luxury of free will."

"But not like this." She clutches his lapels like she wants to strangle him, or at least someone. "This is terrible."

"Well, I live here," Feyd grates out. "I didn't choose to live here. And it just is like that." He had chosen to live here at an age at which one cannot make sensible decisions yet.

"But you could do something. You're the na-Baron, right? You could change something."

"You're right, I'm the na-Baron," he grimly states.

"Lilia said, if she gets hurt, she needs to stitch up herself and she'll be dismissed without recompensation if she finds herself unable to perform her tasks anymore." She looks at Feyd expectantly who stares over her head at the roiling cityscape out the balcony door and shrugs his shoulders. "Do you at least agree that the staff around here are treated unfairly? It is proven that employee satisfaction and work efficiency correlate strongly."

"I don't know," he grumbles and refrains from telling her that the correlation between the threat of a blade between the ribs and work efficiency can hardly be beaten. The relic takes note of how annoyed Feyd looks, like he's been talked into a corner. What he really says is 'I don't care'.

Slowly searing under her expectant stare, Feyd continues: "Sorry. But I don't want to change the world, I have bigger concerns."

"Such as the fact that I'm not kissing you?" She almost scoffs a little, remembering a moment which feels like a lifetime ago, and her heart aches in her chest, knowing exactly that's not what he meant.

"For example…" Feyd brings one hand to her face and caresses her cheek softly, fingertips moving tentatively from temple to jaw. "You didn't ask me about my day."

"Oh, Feyd, I'm so sorry." Her shoulders fall and she feels horrible for jumping him with her concerns, but who else could she talk to, who else could she trust? The grasp on his lapels becomes yearning and clingy, exactly how he likes it.

Softly, she asks: "Is everything okay?" The lingering sub question is: Did he hurt you?

"I'm okay," Feyd hums and a dreamy, little smile slips over his face.

"Are you sure?" She cups his cheeks and looks at him insistently. All of her attention is finally only his and Feyd seizes the moment, delving down to kiss her, cupping the back of her head. This time, he will not be deterred.

Further questions are muffled by Feyd's pillowy lips on hers, kissing her with such determination that her belly is flooded with heat and she whimpers quietly in his mouth when he walks her backwards. Soon the back of her knees hit the mattress and she sinks down, bones melting like jelly when Feyd-Rautha crawls over her like a big cat, his body as hard and heavy as it was the first time they made love.

"No lucid dream this time," he whispers against her wet lips and settles on her chest, relishing the feel of her softness beneath him. His fingers trail downwards with a purpose, stopping occasionally to squeeze her breasts, her waist, her tummy, all the parts that he likes. Calloused fingertips slip beneath her waistband and across her venus mound.

Oh God, to be touched like this in real life! It's been over 24,000 years. She gasps so loudly when he touches her clit that it makes Feyd smile from ear to ear. "That's right, we're finally together," he breathes against her open mouth, drawing small circles on the tender bud, though his wrist is restrained by the waistband of her trousers. "And you're every bit as sweet and wet for me as in the dream."

His eyes are closed. It's easier to talk to her like that. Feyd feels like he's 13 and having his first proper time all over again, except this time he actually wants the girl to like him.

"Feyd," she mewls, fingers curled around the back of his head, nails digging slightly into his nape.

"Hmm?" He hums against her mouth, tongue barely wanting to leave hers.

"Feels so good… Ahhh!" Feyd-Rautha's fingers have slipped further south, two of them sinking tentatively into her cunt and filling her up. With short back and forth of his digits, he makes her thighs fall open wide and her pelvis buck against his damp palm.

Shyness be damned, he needs to see her. So he swiftly stands up, sucks his fingers clean and pulls her pants and underwear (It's strange seeing a woman in pants) down her legs. While he's at it, he discards his shoes and suit jacket too, enjoying the range of motion his sleeveless tunic offers him.

Pale arms cage her when he climbs back on her. His woman shuffles backwards so her head lies properly on the pillow. Feyd would have ravaged her on the cold floor tiles too, but she likes it comfortable, and so does he, but only with her and only in secret.

He wants to eat her cunt until she cries his name, but her fingers have formed a manacle around the nape of his neck, pulling their foreheads flush while her knee nudges against his thigh, falling open for him once more. His fingers return obediently to the joy of sinking into her wet, squishy cunt and Feyd breathes wordless adoration against her parted lips, eyes hooded, cock hard, his chest a flurry of quick panting.

How badly, how madly, how deeply he loves her. He should finally tell her.

"Will you, ahh, eat me out like during our first time?" She whines, lashes fluttering open while her pelvis needily grinds against the steady pace of his hand.

"I'll touch you however you please, my Lady," Feyd purrs, thumb brushing over her tender nub.

"Why, ahhh, why are you calling me that? Lilia called me that too."

"Because you're my Lady Harkonnen."

To be his Lady - whatever that exactly means - fills her cheeks with warmth and drives her pelvis upwards, because she likes the way it sounds. "But I already have a last name," she pants. Feyd cocks his head to the side, fingers slowing down, and a foreboding overcomes her.

"You know they gave you to me as my bride?"

"Gave me to you?!" Her blissful expression dissolves at once and she sharply sits up, forcing Feyd to withdraw his hand unless he'd like to have his wrist snapped. "I'm not your property."

"Well, no, you're my wife." He looks at her pleadingly. "Or, you will be, very soon."

His woman puffs herself up and for a moment he thinks she's going to explode not with the bliss he had meant to bring her, but with rage.

"How come I wasn't made aware of that? Do marriages no longer require consent from both sides?"

"I thought it was self-explanatory." Helplessly, he lifts his arms and shoulders in a gesture of defense. Two fingers of his right hand glitter obscenely with her essence.

"It is not." She stares at him with wide, steely eyes and her fingers reach for his clothed knee, clutching it tightly. "Mankind really has gone back to the middle ages," she snaps. "No computers, and women are treated like cattle."

"I don't know what middle ages means, only that you are my bride," Feyd scowls.

"You don't realize how backwards this is, do you?" She tries to find compassion for his self-assured tone, the pouty lip and the stubborn eyes. "I can't believe you would…"

She shakes her head firmly, biting back disappointment. They never used to have arguments like this, or arguments at all. It used to be only love and comfort and desire and now she feels like her rose-colored glasses have been yanked off her face and replaced with a filter of monochromatic awfulness.

"I would… What? Want you as my wife? Of course I want you as my wife. You're the only one I'd ever even consider."

"No, you're not listening." Huffing, she slumps back down, knees pressed together. Feyd can still see her slick-glistening cunt peeking out enticingly between her thighs but decides to keep his hands to himself while his betrothed is so angry. She sighs heavily and hates how this last sentence made her feel - belly full of pulsing butterflies. "Fine, let's talk about this some other day and let's pick up where we left off?"

"As you wish, my Lady," Feyd coos, calloused hands slipping over her knees. Pleasant goosebumps break out all across her flesh and her fingers slide down to tangle with his. She's missed him so terribly, she could cry.

"We have protection, yes?"

"Protection?" He frowns and his woman's fingers freeze threateningly on his knuckles. "No one would dare disturb us here. I'll take care of you-"

"Protection from pregnancy, you idiot!" She almost slaps him square across the apple of his stupid cheek and her livid expression stops his crawling advance over her body.

Feyd flinches, eyes blown wide with surprise and he looks five years younger like this. Immediately, she feels awful and doesn't dare to imagine how awful she would have felt had she actually slapped him.

"But didn't you leave Earth to colonize your Solar System?"

"I'm an engineer, not an incubator."

"But we didn't take any precautions when we-"

"We were dreaming! Feyd, please. Don't give me an aneurysm and don't make me strangle you."

"Okay, okay…" Cautiously, he pulls away, glancing at his scared woman before he bends down to his discarded jacket.

"Thank you," she sighs more softly. She does want him, wants to feel him everywhere, on her and in her. Looking at the shape of his broad back and narrow waist, she wants him so badly that it hurts.

Feyd pulls a small device from the pocket and clips it behind his ear. When he begins to utter guttural words in the language she doesn't yet understand (Her interface helpfully flashes, identifying the words as Harkunnin, along with an error message about incomplete reference data), she identifies the device as a transmitter.

"Getting us a contraceptive," Feyd mutters when he is done and lets the transmitter vanish in his pocket. "Can I kiss you while we wait? We don't need protection for that…"

God, he pouts, he actually pouts and she can't help but open her arms for him. Immediately, Feyd settles on top of her, chest flush against hers. One thigh pushes between her legs and she grows aware of the hard length confined by his trousers, his cock hot and solid as it grinds against her hip with soft, rutting movements.

Their pleasure is short-lived. A knock on the door drives them apart, or rather, his woman urges him away like she's ashamed to be seen making out with her own betrothed.

"Come in!" She calls and Lilia enters, carrying a tray with two ampules. The woman decidedly avoids eye contact with the na-Baron and bows deeply when he takes the delivery from her hands. Without a word, she scurries away.

"These are quick and effective. We also have formulas with a more long lasting effect. These give us about twenty-four hours," Feyd declares and swallows his dose without delay. His cock is leaking into his pants and he might just go insane if he waits any longer. He won't tolerate any further distractions. Technically, she doesn't need to take her dose on top of his, but Feyd already knew she would have freaked out if she didn't have her own.

She accepts the ampule and looks like she's immensely relieved that they have contraceptives at all around here. But of course they do. The na-Baron can't go around and impregnate every pet he's ever fucked.

His woman's eyes are focused and he realizes she's probably scanning the ampule. By the look on her face, she is not satisfied with the result.

"So, the effect is immediate?"

"Give it a minute or so, but yes." Feyd regards her with hooded eyes and reaches for her waist. When she slips away again, he is seriously tempted to take her to a playroom instead and shackle her to the headboard, fuck her until both of their bodies are numb and her chip is fried.

The engineer climbs off the bed and squats in front of the cryo pod, opening up the BioChem compartment. Equipment that she is not the most familiar with unfolds rapidly in front of her, offering her a tiny workstation. Instructions race over her interface, accompanied by a voiceover directly into her head.

"What are you doing?" Feyd growls with a voice as rough as a whetstone when she brings out a petri dish and drips a tiny droplet of the supposed contraceptive on there. She can barely hear Feyd over the voiceover so she sees herself forced to switch it off when stomping footsteps approach her from behind. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

"Just analyzing a sample real quick. I'm no biologist, but the medical module of the Sarcophagus' program should be able to tell me if-"

"Are you serious?" He barks. "I want to sleep with you." His arms wrap around her waist and drag her backwards, face buried in her neck, lips warm and wet against her skin, nibbling and kissing. She just barely manages to push the petri dish in the slot where it belongs.

"Feyd, wait!" She struggles against his hold though her core floods with heat under the assault of his lips. This is how people end up pregnant - because someone's lips and hands felt too good. "Why are you so… So angry?"

"Why are you so scared of me, and fighting me?! It's just me."

"I'm not scared, I'm just-"

"Don't lie! You are scared, I can see it in your eyes. And you think I'd betray you and give you a faux contraceptive."

With great power of will, she tears her neck away from his lips and spins around in his arms, walking him backwards until his thighs hit the edge of the bed and his knees bend. He looks up with big eyes, pleading and angry, pouty lips parted just a sliver, revealing the inkiness of his teeth behind them.

Feyd is convinced that she will slap him, the way she looks down at him like no woman ever has in his life, but she only cups his face firmly with both hands.

"I'm sorry but I will complete this test. I trust you, but I don't trust anyone else. Do we really know whose hands have prepared these ampules?"

He looks like a kicked puppy, or more like an alligator with a currently closed maw full of sharp teeth. But she also sees the acceptance in his gaze and that he deeply admires her wit.

"Fine then." Wistfully, he lets the fabric of her shirt slip from his fingers as she turns away.

This isn't how she had expected her next encounter with the BioChem compartment to go. Squatting bare-assed on the floor while the man she's in love with paces up and down behind her like a tiger in a cage. From her interface, which is permanently linked to the Sarcophagus as long as she's in range, she selects the molecular analysis tool, giving some pointers by adding that the sample at hand is assumed to be a contraceptive.

Estimated time: 47 seconds

"How long will this take?" Feyd rumbles.

"Only a minute."

"Why didn't you say that sooner!" He stops the pacing and watches, finding a modicum of appreciation for the scarily multifunctional metal block that dominates her room. Surely there are other uses for the sarcophagus that no human in his universe has ever even dreamed of.

"Oh, thank God," she sighs.

Analysis complete…

Rowing in Eden – Ah, the Sea! Might I but moor – Tonight – In Thee! - Wild Nights - Wild Nights! by Emily Dickinson, 1861

A/N: In the next chapter they're finally doing it, I swear 😩

TAG LIST:

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@esolean, @szapizzapanda, @coastalcowgirl35

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veronicaphoenix · 2 months ago

Text

zutto — chapter six | wc: 2.7k | series masterpost | prev. chapter

Chapter summary: Lia and Noah go out for brunch and Noah tries to convince her to cancel the tour in Japan.

Tags and trigger warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff, noah and lia go shopping, noah and lia visit a sex shop, implied interest in bondage, mentions of previous sexual activity, mentions of lia being tied up, brief mention of parents' neglect and japanese folklore (noah being ill with a flower-coughing disease).

General trigger warnings: this work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction, abuse, & violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

Author's note: This chapter was supposed to be around 10k words, but it felt too long so I split it. Chapter 7 will be up this weekend with the remaining 7k words 🤭

There is a quote in this chapter that belongs to the poetry book Questions for Ada written by Ijeoma Umebinyuo. It's marked with an *

Sunlight was streaming brightly through the curtains by the time Lia awoke, indicating that it must be late.

Getting used to the golden light that flooded the room, she brushed aside the long strands of hair that had fallen across her face. Noah’s shoulder and bicep were almost pressed against her, his head resting higher on the pillow and tilted toward her, as though he didn’t want to stop breathing on her. She couldn’t remember when she had fallen asleep—whether it had been on Noah’s chest or just clutching the pillow under her head after he’d given her another orgasm positioned behind her. She did remember him cleaning her up and her mind feeling all fuzzy and cotton-like.

She hadn’t slept this well in a long time.

Smiling at the sight of him, she decided to spend the rest of the time while Noah was still asleep just watching him. At least, that’s what she intended—until her fingers couldn’t resist wandering over to him.

Noah lips were half-open, revealing a tiny bit of those bunny teeth she adored so much. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was disheveled. Beneath the sheets, both of them were naked, their scents lingering in the fabric, though the heavy scent of sex was more prominent.

Lia brushed aside a lock of Noah’s hair that threatened to fall over his eyes, and a memory from her teenage years suddenly flooded back. It was one of those weekends when Cristina had abandoned her, leaving her alone. Hana had obviously let Lia stay over, but against her orders, Lia had sneaked into Noah’s room after midnight instead of sleeping in the guest room. Back then, Noah slept like a log. At seventeen, his passion for music already coursed through his veins relentlessly, and many nights were spent working, only remembering to sleep when he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. The nights he spent with Lia were no different—they would stay up watching movies or talking. That particular night, she had fallen asleep first, but woke up earlier, and took a quiet moment to brush his hair while he slept, softly snoring.

Now, eleven years later, the scene felt almost surreal, like a replay of the past. Lia was sure he had the same peaceful expression, the same boyish features. Even in sleep, he looked like a child, lost in his dreams. The urge to protect him was as strong as ever, just as he had done for her all these years. It felt like the least she could do—besides loving him.

Noah’s chest rose as Lia made a futile attempt to tuck the lock of hair behind his ear. He stirred, and two more strands slipped down to join the first, falling across his eyes and making him blink awake.

The moment he saw her wide eyes looking up at him, paired with that smile that always seemed to cure his every ill, he couldn’t help but smile back. He felt fucking happy to wake up next to the girl he loved—especially with her naked under the sheets.

“Good morning,” he murmured.

“Morning,” she replied, trying to ignore the tingling in her toes and the warmth spreading through her body at the sound of Noah’s deep, sleepy voice. His eyes, with their distinct Asian shape, looked even more beautiful in the morning—smaller, almost like thin slits.

“You look wide awake. How long have you been staring at me?” he asked, his playful arrogance showing the familiar self-assuredness that Lia was all too familiar with.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’ve got some nerve,” she shot back, equally accustomed to his confident, slightly egotistical humor.

With a burst of energy, he grabbed Lia by the waist and tried to tickle her. She squealed, rolling onto her side, giggling, until they lay chest to chest, both facing each other on the bed.

“No more than ten minutes,” Lia said, catching her breath as his warm brown eyes twinkled. “How did you sleep?”

“I had this dream...,” he started, “where I had sex with my favorite girl on the couch, and then in this very bed...”

Oh, he loved seeing her blush and smile like that at his words. He pulled her tighter against him, brushing the hollow between her neck and shoulder with his lips.

“I haven’t slept this well in a long time,” Noah added, “even though I was awake around seven.”

“Seven o’clock?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s routine. I went to the bathroom, grabbed some water, and then… well, I spent some time looking at you until I fell asleep again.”

“How long were you watching me?”

“Oh, you’ve got some nerve,” he echoed her earlier words with a grin, dropping onto his back and pulling Lia with him. She landed on top of him as he continued, his tone calm and tender. “I didn’t plan on going back to sleep, but you looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to leave or wake you, so I just watched for a while. Are you okay?”

Lia, now resting her chin in her hands on his chest, nodded.

“I’m a little sore, but it’ll pass.”

Noah sighed, content, engrossed in holding Lia like this, in his arms.

Lia reached up to his chin and gave him a ghost kiss where his stubble was starting to grow.

“I’m sorry I was in the way of us,” she whispered.

“You were scared, and you had every reason to be. But that’s all behind us now. We have our whole lives ahead of us, Lia. And believe me, I don’t plan on wasting a single second of it. I just need you to be honest with me. You know I’ll never hurt you. But if I have to get angry, I will. I’m not letting you walk away from me again.”

She climbed on top of him, pressing her chest and stomach to his, and touched his cheeks.

“I love you.”

“That sounds wonderful. Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Noah kissed her, long and hard.

After a while, when they bothered to look at their phones to check the time, they realized it was already past eleven.

“I guess we missed breakfast. How about I take you out for brunch?” Noah suggested, his hands resting on her hips, savoring the weight of her body against his.

“Sounds great.”

“And we can talk about Japan.”

Lia’s eyes widened instantly.

“Yes, please.”

“I’m not going to be able to convince you to stay here, am I?”

“Nope. There’s nothing you can do,” she concluded.

“Nothing?” he insisted.

“Nothing. Don’t even try using sex as leverage. I want to go to Japan. I want to go back to work. I’m feeling fine. I’ll be with you and with the crew.”

“Stubborn since you were six...” he sighed. “All right. Let’s go take a shower and get some air. Looks like the storm has passed.”

After showering and getting dressed, Noah and Lia headed out to Santa Monica Place, looking for a restaurant that served a healthy and affordable brunch.

Once seated, they browsed the menu, deciding on an avocado bagel with poached eggs for Lia and a bacon-loaded toast with eggs for Noah. As they waited for their food, Noah’s phone buzzed with a call from Matt. It was well-timed, since if they decided the Japan tour was still on, Matt would need to come by that afternoon to catch Noah and Lia up on the logistics.

Ten minutes later, their food arrived, along with a strawberry smoothie for Lia and a green one for Noah.

“I know I just told Matt to meet us this afternoon to talk about the tour,” Noah began, cutting into his toast. “And I know you said there’s no convincing you, but I’m going to try anyway. I’d rather postpone it, stay home a little longer, and give you more time to recover. It feels rushed to put you on a plane and keep you away from home for a month and a half right now.”

“You’re being overprotective,” Lia replied with a smile, “and I love that, but I need to work. Staying home won’t help me. As lovely as the last few days have been, I’m sure you’re starting to get tired of being cooped up at home with me, too. We haven’t gone out except for groceries and therapy appointments. You haven’t been to the gym, or out for a run, and you’ve ignored most of your work calls.”

“I was focused on what matters to me,” Noah replied, his voice quiet but firm.

Lia reached out, taking his hand. “You’ve always been good at looking out for me while managing everything else.”

“That’s not true,” Noah said, his tone darkening. “If that were the case, Mitch wouldn’t have touched you.”

A heavy silence fell between them.

“I’m sorry,” he quickly added, regret filling his eyes. “You’re still not comfortable talking about it. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Maybe I never will be,” Lia said, her voice steady but raw. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him control my life. I’d rather not hear his name now, but one day, I won’t care.”

“I’m proud of you, Lia. For everything you’ve accomplished on your own. You built a life for yourself from nothing.”

“It wouldn’t have been so easy without a best friend who picked me up every time I fell.”

“I just offered my hand. It was always you who chose to take it.”

The weight of Noah’s words lingered in the air. Lia felt the echoes of her past ripple through her—the weight she had carried for so long, the trauma she had inherited from her mother, the silent strength she’d summoned to survive. She thought of all the daughters like her—those who had to raise themselves, who had learned to build their own light in the darkness.

Bless them; those girls who, despite the odds, managed to build themselves a future from the fragments of their past. Bless those daughters who sat carrying the trauma of mothers. Who sat asking for more love and not getting any, who carried themselves to light. Bless the daughters who raised themselves. *

Lia stroked the back of Noah’s hand with her thumb. With a sigh, she returned to her plate, taking a bite as they both sat in a shared, contemplative silence.

“As I was saying, we can’t keep this routine up much longer,” she said. “You’re going to start climbing the walls and...”

“No. I can go back to work but without having to travel. We cancel the tour and focus on the new album,” Noah countered.

Lia shot him a tired look.

“The only thing you’ll do if you cancel the tour is keep getting distracted—because of me.”

“What about your plants?” Noah shot back. “What if they don’t survive while we’re in Japan?”

“I’ll ask Emery to come water them every now and then,” Lia replied, unfazed.

“And what if you get overwhelmed with work?”

“Work has never overwhelmed me. In fact, if I don’t start sketching something soon, I’m going to go mad. Stop finding excuses, Noah. Canceling an entire overseas tour because of me would be worse. Imagine the guilt I’d be carrying around.”

Noah hesitated. She was right.

“Besides,” Lia added, “we haven’t seen Grandma in over a year.”

“Grandma said the other day that your health was more important. The trip could wait.”

“I’m well enough to travel, Noah. Or didn’t you notice that last night?”

Noah blinked. “Are you comparing sex to a trip to Japan?”

She shrugged casually. “You compared it to your performance on stage.”

For a second, Noah didn’t know whether to raise his eyebrows or burst out laughing. The girl was impossible.

“Is this how it’s going to be?” he asked, half amused. “You getting me to do whatever you want because you know I can’t say no to you?”

Lia smiled and gave a playful shrug. “Maybe you need to set some boundaries, then.”

Noah shook his head, defeated but grinning.

“Well, at least the trip will help Grandma clear up all those mysteries she’s been holding onto for months.”

“What mysteries? About your flower-coughing fits?” Lia asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly. Didn’t she talk cryptically the last few times you spoke to her? She had me in stitches.”

“About her theory that it had something to do with me?” Lia sighed. “No. I changed the subject every time she brought it up. I think she got the hint that I didn’t want to discuss it—and definitely didn’t like her linking me to you in that way.”

“That’s strange.”

“What is, exactly?”

“That out of everyone around us, Grandma was the only one who didn’t hammer us with comments about getting together. Together this way, I mean.”

“Whatever’s been going through her head all these years,” Lia said thoughtfully, “I plan to get it out of her the minute we step into her house at the end of the tour.”

The outing was intended as a distraction and a small boost for Lia’s mental health, with plans to do some light shopping after filling their stomachs.

They wandered through a few stores, starting with one that offered items they might need for their upcoming trip. Next, they visited a flower shop where Lia carefully selected seeds to plant at home, hoping they would blossom in her absence and greet her with vibrant blooms upon her return, and a special set of seeds to spill in Grandma’s little garden in her house in Japan. Their final stop was a stationery store, where Lia restocked her supplies. She grabbed some high-quality paper and a couple of her favorite mechanical pencils, a couple of sketchbooks of different size, a set of fine-tipped markers, and a travel-sized watercolor kit, knowing these would be perfect for capturing inspiration on the go.

As they left the stationery store, Lia glanced at their shopping bags, wondering if they had everything they needed. Her mind buzzed with ideas that she desperately needed to either voice or transfer to paper, but before she could share them with Noah, he casually mentioned, “We’re still missing condoms.”

Lia lifted her eyes to him only to find him motioning towards a sex shop located between a Zara and a Hollister Co. She followed him, feeling a strange comfort in the idea of buying condoms with him.

Inside, Noah’s initial confidence wavered as he looked around the adult store, but Lia seemed more at ease. She browsed through the various options with a calm curiosity, which made Noah’s unease more pronounced.

After a couple of minutes, he picked up a box of size L condoms to examine. With a bemused look, Lia took the box from his hand and replaced it with a medium size, her expression clearly saying, “seriously, Noah?”

Now holding two boxes of medium condoms, Noah continued to explore the options, engrossed in comparing brands and types. He studied the packaging and ingredients, curious for the first time, lost in thought, and didn’t immediately notice when Lia wandered off. When he finally did, he assumed she was simply exploring the store’s offerings. Raising his voice slightly, he called out, “Hey, I’m heading to the checkout!”

He paid for their items, swiping his card before glancing around for Lia to let her know it was time to leave. His eyes froze as he spotted her standing in front of a section dedicated to ropes, where various types hung from a bar, inviting examination. Lia’s hands delicately held a velvety red rope, her fingers gliding over its soft texture as if savoring the sensation.

Noah watched her; the way she studied the rope, her brows slightly furrowed in contemplation… The velvety material slipped smoothly through her fingers. And suddenly he was imagining her naked on his bed, wrapped in that soft rope.

Swallowing hard, he called out her name.

She turned around quickly, the rope slipping from her grasp and landing softly on the display. Noah gestured toward the exit with a slight nod. Lia, with a hint of color blooming on her cheeks, hurried after him.

As they walked out of the store and made their way back to Noah’s car, Lia glanced down at their intertwined fingers. Noah would occasionally tighten his grip around her, relishing in the sensation of how perfect her hand fit in his.

A smile tugged at Lia’s lips.

— prev. chapter | chapter seven

Taglist:

@sweetwombatpizza | @missduffsblog | @shilohrosechicken | @jilliemiw86

@somebodyels3 | @respectfulrebel | @xcllnt | @bluestdai | @lma1986

Let me know if you want to be tagged! 😊

#noah sebastian #lia x noah #noah x lia #the inevitability of love at second sight #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x ofc #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic

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philosophiums · 5 months ago

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hi sam!! 1, 2, 6, 8, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 50, 51, 55, 57, 66 (lmhs), 71, 72, 76, 78, 79 😊 i just love picking another writer's brain hehe

KSJDBVJKDFBV MARIAM IM CRYING HELP 😂 *cracks knuckles* okay let's gooooo 💜 (there's gonna be a read more somewhere)

questions from here!

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Truly depends on the length of the wip! For short stuff that I'm confident will be under 10k, I just go in swinging. For longer stuff, I'm daydreaming constantly, even during the writing process. When I had a desk job, I would spend Work Time thinking and then write stuff out in my notes app, but now that I operate a moving vehicle for 7+ hours a day, I just spend the majority of that time Daydreaming, Thinking, and Planning for LMHS.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

It's about a 60/40 split between original thoughts (as much as anyone can claim to truly have original creative thoughts that are 100% not inspired by anything else) and ideas that are based on or inspired by the premises of other fics or by fanart (sometimes not even from the same fandom).

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

From LMHS, last line of chapter 3: "Sun shining on their backs, sweet snacks in their stomachs, and laughter in the air, the three of them take off together, venturing once again deeper into Changyin’s busy streets."

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Not written out yet so I can't post a snippet, but in LMHS, water is so important to Megumi's character, way beyond just bending.

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

Sometimes! I did outline LMHS, though that was mostly an attempt on my part at keeping track of all the thoughts @hinamie and I were throwing at each other. It's not very detailed at all, just a bullet point list of things like "they travel to [location] - remember that [this character] is with them" or stuff like that. It's a guide for the like... movement™ of the fic, but less so the nitty gritty details, which I kind of enjoy discovering as I go (be it while I'm writing or while Hina and I are talking). But the last long fic I wrote (250k) did not have an outline. I just followed my heart and the vision I had of the end of the fic <3 The back half of that fic did have a canon timeline to follow, though, which made it easier.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

SJKDBJKSDB I do about 95% of my writing in a big leather wingback armchair in my living room, usually with one leg hooked over an arm of the chair. The other 5% is bleary-eyed, 2am in bed, notes app, half-finished sentences with just the worst spelling you've ever seen.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

It used to be between 1am and 3am, back when I was unemployed/working a job I didn't have to properly sleep for. Now, the only time I seem to be able to write is from about 8:30pm to 11pm. It takes me forever to unwind after coming home, so I can really only get myself to focus way at the end of the day. 100% if I went back to a desk job or stumbled into a pile of money that could let me stop working, I'd be right back to typing away well after midnight.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sit down > open word doc > reread last paragraph > dissociate > walk away > come back three hours later and write SKJDVBDKJBVJKDFBV

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I don't necessarily enjoy it, mostly because when I'm researching, I tend to get pulled down a rabbit hole of stuff I don't need to know and will never use. However, I do find that I end up doing impromptu "shotgun" research a lot while writing. Literally while writing the first chapter of LMHS, I had to pull up some research on trees just to make absolutely sure I was describing something correctly. It's 100% an inconsequential detail, but at least I know I wasn't pulling it completely out of thin air KSJVDBDKJVB I don't think I could honestly say which fic required the most research. If we include the amount of time I spent on the respective fandom wikis for character/canon details, then Swallow the Stars for sure. But if it's only for Other Stuff™, then I think they're all about equal.

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I love making OCs in general, but not really for fanfic. I'll make an OC for an inconsequential side character no problem (did this a couple times in Swallow the Stars), but, for the most part, I prefer to stick to canon characters. I've never written a fic from the POV of an OC, and I doubt I ever will. I would much rather explore the dynamics between canon characters than insert a new main character into a story that already has one.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Depends! I've done all three before SKJDVBDKJVBF Sometimes, a title comes to me right away, and I can sort of circle around it while I'm writing (this is more common for me with short fics). Sometimes, I get a few thousands words in, and have played with the themes long enough to have it just sort of come to me. Other times, I'm fully edited and just staring at the words begging a title to appear so I can post KSJDVBDKJFVBDFV LMHS had a title before I even started writing, because I wanted to have a title when I posted the fic announcement. As far as how I come up with them, I've pulled directly from words in the fic, I've gone on random quote generators and pulled from those, I've sat down and literally just strung words together based on a theme or a single specific word I wanted (LMHS, for instance, came from a desire to use the word "haunt"). It just kinda depends and is different for every fic!

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

The beginning is easiest because it's fun character introductions and scene setting, not a lot of plot yet. The middle is by far the hardest because that's where the plot is beefiest and where a lot of the transition spaces are, and at the same time you're starting to gather up the threads you want to tie off at the end.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I choose based on whose thoughts I'm imagining most when I'm first thinking of the story! When I'm new to writing for a fandom, I will sometimes have to start a fic 2 or 3 times to find the voice that comes easiest to me, though. I have a tendency to lean towards the quieter characters, but that's not always true! For example, Andrew Minyard's POV is easier for me to write in, but I have more fun writing Neil, so I tend to gravitate towards Neil for AFTG fics.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

World building my beloved..... I love coming up with Reasons for things that I want to happen, tying things into the setting and the history and making sure it works for the characters as well. The moment when everything connects is so magical.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Writing KJDBKJDFBVJKDBFV Words are just.... so hard 😭

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Detailing! Descriptions! I am constantly fighting with myself over how much detail I actually need to include in my descriptions, because on some level, I want to describe it as much as I possibly can so that it can be envisioned easier, but on the flip side I know for a fact that no matter how much I describe something, no one will ever see it exactly the same way I do. And so then I pull back too far, I think, and keep my descriptions bare minimum, which I think is just as unhelpful. I need to work on finding a balance. Maybe metaphor can be my friend here.....

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I usually go through for edits a minimum of two times and a maximum of 4 times. I always do an initial read-through for details that I missed or clarifications I need to make or continuity problems, stuff like that. Then I'll go through for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. If I end up rewriting a lot during that second edit, I'll go back through yet again just to double-check everything. And, more often than not, I do a last read-through right before I post. Though, inevitably, there's always something that I don't catch until it's already posted KJSBDVKDJBV

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I'm really quite keen on Like the Moon Haunts the Sun !! It's longer than what I usually go for with titles, but it's sooooo thematically fitting and just really really pretty imo. But, This Is What Hollows holds a special place in my heart because it's a bit different and yet perfectly fitting for that fic. Plus, it was titled loooong before I came up with a way to include it in the actual writing of the fic, and I felt like an absolute genius when I managed to do that organically.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I have a world mostly built for a fantasy setting with dragon gods and stuff that I've planned out all the lore for and yet cannot for the life of me actually think up a plot that would be interesting to write SKJVBDJKVB I have characters, I have setting, I have themes, but a plot? Evading me. And it's been haunting me for like 7 years.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Urban fantasy 100%!! I love writing magic systems without having to do historical research SKJBDVKJDVB Also just the idea of magic in a place that we live in is so special to me like... there is magic everywhere in the world, but sometimes that magic really does come from a spell book like Yes Please.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

Found family trope my beloved,,,,,,,, don't look too closely at it; it doesn't say anything about me as a person I Promise.

47. Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Not a trope, but when I was younger and Working Through Some Shit, I included a, I guess, circumstance™ that I will not actually say (bc it's like. triggering) in just about every fic I wrote, but I'm past the point now (thank god) of needing to vent through it, so I truly don't think I'll ever include it in anything ever again.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

HHHHHHH I have no idea. I think I am incapable of looking at my writing objectively enough to describe it.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Very much so! I love reading prose that is rich in metaphor and simile, but for the life of me I can't write like that. I don't have the gift of constantly being able to turn a phrase so beautifully, but god is it gorgeous to read.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I don't even want to think about the words and phrases I overuse because I'm sure there's plenty JSKDBVKJDFVB I do have a recurring theme of like... healing, though. This deep inner struggle of the characters to get to a better place is just... so important to me. I want them to heal, but more than that I want them to want to heal.

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I'm certainly conscious of it, but less so on the first draft. I think foreshadowing has a way of sneaking into my writing naturally (especially because I write chronologically), and then I can really hammer it in during the edit. Symbolism is purely being brought in during the first edit unless it's something so important that it was underlined a lot during the drafting/planning stage.

66. What’s a fun fact about LMHS?

It started as me just randomly thinking about ATLA and sending a question to Hina about what she thought the main trio's bending elements would be, and it just tumbled out of control from there SKJDVBDJKVFB

71. Do you spend more time reading or writing?

Writing, which is... saying something because I really don't spend a lot of time writing on a day-to-day basis. But I haven't read a published book in.... 4 years? And I don't read fanfic very often either, despite my bookmarks tab being overflowing with fics that I would like to read at some point. I just feel like I never have the time or energy to sit down and read.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I have gotten a similar comment from multiple people that is about my characterization of canon characters within AUs and how it still feels like the canon characters but with realistic changes based on a different setting, and in fic writing I can't think of higher praise. Like... that's exactly what I want. I don't want the characters to be exactly the same as canon because their circumstances have changed, but I still want them to be recognizable. That's always what I'm striving for, and it makes me happy that people notice and think it's executed well enough to comment on.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Poorly KDEJVBKJDEFVBJKDFVBJF Really though, I struggle managing pressure when I'm writing. And it's always internal, because external pressure on fics just makes me petty since it's Free Labor, and people who complain about a slow upload schedule or whatever just make me Mad. But internal pressure is HHHHHHHHHH I am Going Through It with LMHS. I want it to live up to expectations, but I also want to finish it quickly, but I also want it to be lush and complete, and there's always this voice in my head telling me I'm not writing fast enough or good enough. Mostly I work past it by reminding myself that the time will pass anyway and that it's a miracle that I can even write ~1k words a day with how tired my job makes me. And on the days when that doesn't work, I have loud music KSJDVBDKJVBJDKFV

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Up to the point where I start posting (for my last long fic, I was >100k in before I uploaded the first chapter), the motivation comes from a simple desire to write that particular story. For me, it can't come from anywhere else. If I don't want to write on a fic anymore and I haven't uploaded yet, I'll just stop. However, once I start posting, comments and general interaction with the fic gives me a huge bump in motivation. Engagement and talking about the story and the characters and the plot just makes me so excited to keep going so that I can drop the next plot twist or cliffhanger and read everyone's reactions. This time, for LMHS, I am very very lucky to have my own personal cheer squad of one (Hina) motivating me daily through memes and character discussion and new pieces of art and other various things <3

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

The best actual constructive writing advice that I can give is: Do Not Edit Something Until You're Done. And yes, I mean the entire story - do not go back and reread/rewrite until you're done with it. Nothing will make your forward momentum disappear faster than going back to edit. If you're too hung up on details and perfection right away, you're never going to get done. You have to just write and accept that things will need to be reworked. Make notes for yourself on things to fix later or whatever, just do not scroll back up and start editing before you're done with something. It will only make you disappointed that where you pick up again isn't going to look as nice as what you just edited.

#this took me all weekend and it's currently well past my bedtime but i wanted to post this!!!!#so i finished all of them KJSDBVKJDBFV #i still can't believe u sent me so many tyyyyyyy <3 #just gonna tag lmhs as well since a bunch of this is in reference to it #lmhs

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ladysomething · 9 months ago

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Well, I lasted three update emails. I was holding out on starting your new fic so I could binge a lot of chapters at once, but after getting the update email today I just couldn’t wait and to no one’s surprise, I loved every minute of it! Such an interesting world you’ve created and it’s only going to get better (for us, for Charles who knows).

I do have to ask since I’m not a fic writer - when you say you’re expecting this to be around 150-180k is that daunting for you as a writer or exciting? Right now you’re averaging around 8,000 words a chapter so with that average that’s around 20 chapters and with possible (please don’t view this as pressure) weekly updates that’s 20ish weeks of fic! I’m always so curious if this seems overwhelming to writers? I know as a reader it’s so damn exciting.

lol can you tell I’m a numbers girl and not a writer?

ah thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and I totally understand the urge to want to wait. I'm excited you're coming along on the journey anyway!

moving on to your question, I'll try to be succinct but to nobody's surprise I am an absolute yapper so it probably will be a long and winding answer.

I think firstly, you kind of almost explained it yourself, but in the opposite way. I'm a writer, not a numbers girl haha. I personally (though other writers may have different experiences) don't really think about how many chapters it will be, or how many weeks of uploads, so there is really no opportunity for it to be daunting because it doesn't really enter my mind.

The outline I have for this fic IS broken into chapters, but I already am not sticking to it. When I'm writing, I often explore a scene in much more detail (and therefore many more words) that I expected when writing the note for scene. e.g. today's chapter was like "1. Charles goes into pre-heat 2. max claims Charles 3. Pierre shows up" and then it ended up being 10k. I just finished writing chapter 6, which is also at 10k, and I've ended up having to shift half of what I outlined for chapter 6 into chapter 7 because I found a natural end point and I didn't want to end up with a 20k chapter.

so, for me at least, when I write I make a lot of decisions based on my instincts. does this scene need more, or is it dragging? is this chapter complete, or does more need to be added? is there too much in this chapter, and should I split it?

all of which is to say - my estimate of 150-180k is based on how much I have written so far (55k) and at what point in the story am I up to (I honestly don't think act 1 is done yet). I suspect my estimate of 150-180k is very low, and it's not getting to that word count that's daunting, because it's not what I'm actually working towards.

what IS daunting is trying to tell the story itself. are the characters right? are their intentions coming through? am I hiding what I want to hide? do I have a note of plot I've started at the beginning so I make sure I follow it through to the end? working towards answering those questions is what I'm thinking about, and that is always daunting, no matter whether its 10k or 200k (though.... PWP is always fairly mindless hahaha).

but it IS exciting. especially when people love something. I've written a lot of fic in my time, long and short, complete and not complete, and I can absolutely guarantee that the difference between exciting and daunting is how people react. when people love something ... the nerves are there, but they're eclipsed by the sheer joy of knowing you brought a smile to somebody's face with your writing.

not to get sappy, but I whole-heartedly believe that my purpose on this earth is to make people happy through my writing. if I know that I'm doing that, I could write 200k fic after 200k fic and die a happy woman.

I hope that kind of answered your question anon! long and winding, but fairly thorough? haha

#where you go i go #lestappen #lestappen fic #fic #fanfic

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use-your-telescope · 1 year ago

Text

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 3: I'm Still Not Sure What I Stand For

Summary: Theo makes a decision. The Avengers meet a prospective new member.

Author's Notes: Hey look, it's the chapter that has the first snippet I posted back in like, February! This song is split between two chapters, otherwise it would be a 10k chapter... next chapter (again, already written!) will likely come on Saturday, 10/28.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog (less than 100 followers, haha) and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3,957

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights - fun.

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck Some nights, I call it a draw Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know anymore

If there was anything Theo could count on, it was that her cousin Max would inevitably disapprove of almost all of Theo’s life choices.

“Are you insane ?” The tenor of her cousin’s voice blared through the speaker, furious about the news she shared. “Seriously Leenie, you know you’re insane, right?”

“Sometimes, that’s all I have to give me comfort.” Theo drawled, cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she packed her apartment up. “Max, don’t you get it? They’re alive - this is our chance!”

“No, no, no –” he retorted, “things are perfectly fine right now! There is no reason for us to go digging up the skeletons we buried -”

“Why are you so upset about this?” She said, rolling her eyes. “You literally have nothing to lose - if this works, we get our lives back. If this doesn’t work, we will stay here and nothing changes!”

“I have nothing–” A strangled groan came from the other side of the phone. “You are impossible, Leenie! What are the others going to think? What’s Mémère going to think? You’re putting all of us at risk–”

“Mémère has been pestering me to help with the shadow creature problem anyways,” Theo interrupted, “and might I remind you that between the two of us, I’m the one who has the authority to make this sort of decision.”

“I can’t – I can’t believe you,” Max sputtered; Theo could picture him walking around his house, flailing his arms in exasperation as she refused to back down on her plan. “After everything we sacrificed to get here, you’re going to risk ruining it for them?”

“They’re my family, you asshole,” Theo snapped, “and until two nights ago, I thought they were dead. I thought I would never see them again, and I would never see my home again, but now there’s a possibility I can have my life back! So yes, I am willing to risk everything!” Staring at the half-filled boxes around her, Theo sighed; a pang of nostalgia surged through her chest at the thought of seeing the constellations that filled her childhood in something other than her dreams. “Max, they can put an end to all of this - don’t you want to go home?”

For years, Theo had dreams where she experienced the world through her sister’s perspective, but until she found out her sister was alive Theo assumed that was all they were: dreams. Her mind playing tricks on her, making her feel connected to people who hadn’t walked the earth in a long time. It wasn’t hard to rationalize - lots of people dreamt about loved ones after they passed.

However, if it was true - if they were really alive… Maybe they weren’t just dreams. Maybe she was still connected with them and seeing what they saw. Maybe her sister was staring at the skies like they used to, remembering the tales she told Theo when they’d sneak out late at night to escape the times when it all felt like too much.

Even if Theo had seen the world through Rae’s eyes, she wondered what Rae looked like after all the time that had passed. Was she still as lean as Theo remembered, with sharp cheeks and piercing amethyst eyes that saw through everything? Was her nose still hooked ever-so-slightly?

A shaky exhale came through the other end of the phone.

“This is our home now, Leens -” Max softened his tone, “I know you miss them, but even if it’s true that they are alive, how do you know they aren’t choosing to stay there? How do you know they would even want to help? Or that it would work?”

“Max, there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t try to find me again - they’re my family ,” Theo protested, pinching the bridge of her nose with irritation at Max’s very blatant disapproval of her decision. “Look, I get it - after all this time it’s scary to think about the possibility that we gave up hope when they were still alive and we resigned ourselves to being refugees. But wouldn’t you rather know for sure than sit here wondering what if ?”

Theo continued haphazardly tossing items into boxes - she had to have everything ready for moving into the tower. Movers would be coming in a week, and she would have to say farewell to the brownstone she’d called home for so long.

The thought of leaving her little borough was tough to swallow - what would she do when she couldn’t stop into the bodega on her way home from work and tease Carlos about the girl who kept coming in to buy stuff just to talk to him? There was no way the Avengers ever went to bodegas when they needed something, much less talked to normal people. It seemed like they were locked up in their tower whenever they weren’t making appearances or going on flashy missions. They probably had cleaning staff and a chef that they interacted with, but beyond the staff it was difficult to imagine the Avengers living normal lives and running their own errands.

God, if Tony Stark was as obnoxious and boisterous as he seemed, being locked in a tower with him would absolutely result in Theo committing murder…

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to this.

But if it meant she could be reunited with her family, if they could finally go home and rebuild… Maybe she could hold off on murdering the Avengers’ sugar daddy.

“I can’t stop you from doing this, can I?”

Max’s voice snapped Theo back to the present.

“No, you can’t.” Theo shook her head, adjusting how she cradled the phone so she could tape a box closed. “I gave SHIELD my terms today and they accepted. Whether you like it or not, I’m going. You’re second in command while I’m gone - you know that, right?”

“Fucking insane,” Max muttered, “This is fucking insane.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first thirty times.” Theo replied, rolling her eyes yet again.

“Fine, fine! I will try to keep Mémère in line and make sure shit doesn’t implode,” Max relented, “You have to tell the council though - I do not condone this whatsoever.”

Fuck, Theo forgot about the council.

“Chill out - I’m sure Mémère already told them.”

Well, she was assuming, but they’d find out one way or another. After all, there was going to be a press conference to announce her new role upon completion of SHIELD’s onboarding process, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a secret.

Max’s frustration meant the conversation didn’t last much longer; then again, it wasn’t like there was much else for the two to discuss. If anything, she was a bit relieved to be done talking to him, even if he was family.

The moment Max was no longer on the phone, Theo let out an exhausted sigh.

Maybe Max was right - maybe she was getting caught up in this for nothing. Maybe she wouldn’t get to them in time. Maybe it was actually a lie after all. Maybe this would re-open old wounds. Maybe she would be killed before finding anything. Maybe…

Wings flapping brought Theo’s attention to her open window. A pair of black, beady eyes stared at her, iridescent feathers shimmering in the light from Theo’s apartment.

Not a crow - too big to be a crow. The beak wasn’t like a crow’s, and the feathers around it were far more pronounced.

Definitely a raven.

Ravens weren’t common in urban areas, and seeing one on its own?

Well, if that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was.

This is it, boys, this is warWhat are we waiting for?Why don't we break the rules already?I was never one to believe the hypeSave that for the black and whiteTry twice as hard, and I'm half as likedBut here they come again to jack my style

“Dr. Theolene Amaris,” Nick Fury’s voice rang out in the meeting room as a picture of a lithe woman appeared on screen. “ - also known as the Silver Shadow, the Celestial Phantom, and the Cursed Moon.”

It was only a few hours earlier that everyone was notified of the mandatory briefing, which was described as “urgent.”

Moments before, Loki found himself pondering the nature of the briefing while everyone packed into a bright conference room. In front of each Avenger, a manila file folder sat prepared for them with information related to the subject in question.The faces of his team members shifted as they developed their first impressions on the subject of their briefing, her likeness blown up on the screen at the front of the room.

Despite exceeding the capacity of the space, Loki managed to secure his usual seat in the back, conveniently located near the door for an easy escape. It was a habit that lingered from his earlier days in the tower, but having an easy escape from what were normally tedious meetings was still a benefit that Loki took advantage of more often than not. Even better, there was an empty seat next to him, lessening the otherwise inevitable sense of claustrophobia that would have eventually reared its ugly head.

She really didn’t look like much. The only noteworthy feature in her appearance was the thick mane of silver hair that tumbled down her back, stopping just above her waist. Otherwise, she appeared to be like any other Midgardian: clad in all-black, a beanie atop her head with black sunglasses obscuring her features as she walked down the street. If Loki passed her in real life, there was no way he’d offer her a second glance, or even a first.

With that in mind, it was safe to assume that in this first image, she was practicing urban camouflage – blending in with her surroundings by altering her appearance and attire to mimic those around her. The less attention she drew to herself, the easier it would be to slip in and out unnoticed; it also created an additional challenge if anyone sought to locate her. As someone who’d had plenty of experience with stealth, Loki already had an idea of what her skill sets may include.

Stark studied the first image of her, brow furrowed as he spoke up. “Hell of a name, but she doesn’t look like much. What’s her doctorate in? Bad poetry? Sad music? Scaring parents?”

“Emergency Medicine.” Fury glared at Stark while Agent Hill changed the display to a second photograph. “Assuming she isn’t a serious threat is both the first and last mistake you’ll make about her.”

The second image must have been captured in combat. She crouched down as though she just landed from a maneuver, the obsidian hood of a frayed cloak masking the top half of her face as she held a black longsword composed entirely of what appeared to be magic in one hand. Her other hand radiated with darkness as it touched the ground, ready to launch some kind of spell. Blood smeared across her jawline, a scowl across her lips as a pair of corpses lay in the background. Unlike the first photo, now he could see a scar that ran down past the bottom of her lip, almost giving her the appearance of a permanently split lip. A second scar cut through the outside edge of her eyebrow, angling out towards her temple.

One detail piqued his interest: of all the realms that Loki had visited, he did not recognize where she was. He had to give it to Fury – this picture certainly made her appear far more intimidating.

“She specializes in shadow magic—“

The room erupted as all the Avengers fired off questions at the director.

“Shadow magic? Wait, is she the one behind those shadow beast-things we’ve been fighting lately?”

“What does she want?”

“Is she working for Dr. Doom?”

“Did HYDRA give her those powers?”

“What kind of villain studies emergency medicine?”

“Maybe this will help explain things.” Agent Hill tapped a screen as the image before them went to a video.

Loki had seen this video before - it was nearly impossible to miss, having been plastered all across the news for weeks. A Midgardian woman single-handedly eliminated an entire swarm of the shadowy monsters that had plagued New York City recently, all while in a subway car. Somehow, no one knew who she was or the methods used to exterminate the pests. It was obvious from the video that it was magic of some kind, though it was different from any magic Loki had ever encountered in his life and it did not resemble anything he had ever studied. Though he hadn’t admitted it to anyone, he was curious to meet this Midgardian and learn her abilities for himself.

Of course, that was assuming she was Midgardian. There were many species who appeared to be Midgardian, though biologically they were different. Usually, it was easy for Loki to sense if someone was Aesir, Midgardian, or otherwise; however, no indication that she was anything extraterrestrial revealed itself to him.

No, this woman must have been Midgardian.

“That’s her?” Romanoff inquired, arching a perfectly groomed brow at Hill.

“Wait wait wait , I thought she was the bad guy, but she’s killing the shadowy monsters here…” Wilson said, gawking at the screen. “Unless she’s really crazy and likes killing her own, this doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m telling you, if she’s the big bad and studied Emergency Medicine, she’s definitely got a screw loose,” Barnes said, “and that’s coming from the guy with a vibranium arm.”

“This incident was weeks ago - how is it that we are just now learning of her identity?” Rhodes interjected.

“She is not our enemy,” Agent Hill finally explained, raising her voice over the incessant chatter. “She has agreed to help the Avengers find the root cause of the shadow creature problem and exterminate the beasts.”

Stunned silence permeated the room. The ticking of the clock above Fury’s perpetual scowl only emphasized the blaring lack of sound.

Loki could count on one hand the number of times he had ever witnessed total silence from the group; to see the group go from so animated to so silent nearly gave him whiplash.

“She’s joining the Avengers?” Stark’s disbelief was painted all over his face. “Emo queen Rapunzel is joining the Avengers?”

“Not exactly,” Agent Carter said, “She is coming on board specifically to help with the shadow creatures.”

“If she’s so powerful, why isn’t she already a part of the Avengers?” Banner asked, leaning in as he met Fury’s glare.

“This is a temporary arrangement.” Fury crossed his arms. “We struck a deal with her.”

“So she comes in and helps with the shadow creatures, and then what - she just disappears?” Captain Rogers pressed, “Don’t you think someone with expertise in shadow magic should be kept under close watch?”

“You’d be a fool to think she hasn’t been on SHIELD’s radar for a long time.” Fury crossed his arms and glowered at the group. “She turned down past offers to join the Avengers. Your mission is to convince her to stay.”

“Convince her to stay?” Romanoff shot Fury a wary glance, while others regarded the director as though he grew another head.

“Assuming all goes well, we want her to remain on the team after the shadow creatures are eliminated,” Agent Hill explained. “She is highly adept in both physical and magical combat, and she has expertise in stealth operations. She fills in some key areas of the team that have been lacking, while her versatility allows her to fit into a variety of smaller teams with ease. However, we need you to convince her to stay.”

“Dr. Amaris cut her teeth in a different realm,” Fury added. “She has trained with threats far more powerful than what we have encountered here on earth, and fought to survive in far worse scenarios. Her experiences and insight would be invaluable in our operations.”

“Okay, but if you had to strike a deal with her, that still raises some questions…” Banner hesitated, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “It makes it sound like she wasn’t exactly keen to help protect the world.”

“Her skills are far too valuable to not be utilized.” Fury glared at Banner. “What I was going to say before someone interrupted my briefing is that she is also an incredibly powerful healer.“

“How do we know we can trust her?” Wilson asked. “I’m no wizard, but shadow magic sounds like trouble at best.”

Barton agreed. “Besides, Nat has us covered in stealth.”

“You know how to make a woman feel appreciated.” Romanoff coyly winked at Barton.

While Loki wasn’t one to regularly agree with Wilson, for once he made a good point: this was something Loki was unfamiliar with, and at the very least it sounded dubious.

“Because if I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead.”

Every head in the room snapped towards the entrance, eyes wider than dinner plates as they gawked at the source of the voice.

Leaning against the closed conference room door was the subject of their briefing. In real life, Theolene Amaris was smaller than Loki expected - not short by any means, as she appeared to be slightly taller than Maximoff and Romanoff; she was probably the average height for a Midgardian woman. However, she was lanky, with elongated limbs and a slight figure. She carried her head high with relaxed posture, one leg crossed in front of the other as she leaned on the doorframe with hands loosely tucked in her pockets. She didn’t seem to be intimidated by the strong personalities in front of her, even as she crashed their briefing.

Dr. Amaris sauntered into the room, eyes scanning over each of the Avengers with a smirk on her face. When she reached Loki she paused, quirking her head to the side as the curl of her lips increased. “Looks like one of us might need to change.”

At first, Loki was perplexed by her remark. Upon a second glance, it became obvious. They both wore almost identical outfits: black button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, tucked into tailored black trousers that showed a bit of ankle, and black Oxford shoes.

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, a smile creeping across his own features as he allowed his shoulders to relax.

It was unusual for someone to make him laugh, especially on a first encounter. And to shock the Avengers in such a way? Well, he certainly was intrigued.

“It seems we have similar tastes in apparel,” Loki commented coolly, wondering about the nature of her remark.

Just then, Theo pulled a hand out of her pocket and snapped her fingers, instantly changing her outfit into a pair of ripped black jeans, a faded gray shirt emblazoned with some sort of sigil and the word “Queen,” and a pair of black sneakers.

Loki could feel the magic pouring off of her - while she was no god, it was apparent to him that Fury wasn’t kidding when he said she was much more powerful than she let on.

“There, that’s better.” She dropped into the seat beside Loki, leaning back and kicking her feet up onto the table before sticking out one hand. “You must be Loki?”

“Indeed, and you must be Dr. Amaris.” Loki offered a wry grin, shaking her hand with a firm grip. “A fellow sorcerer, I see.”

“You could say that,” She winked, returning the gesture with a firm grip. “Call me Theo. Dr. Amaris is what my residents call me.”

From the opposite side of Theo, Thor beamed at the sight of his brother being surprisingly friendly to the Avengers’ newest addition.

It took every ounce of self-restraint for Loki to prevent himself from rolling his eyes at his older brother. “Pleasure to meet you, Theo.”

“Don’t get any funny ideas with Rapunzel here, Reindeer Games.” Stark warned, apparently having already settled on a nickname for the newest team member.

Loki’s attention diverted to Stark, sending invisible daggers at the man. Even though they had come a long way from the distrust present when Loki first joined the team, there were certainly still moments where Stark got on his nerves.

This time it was Theo’s turn to snort.

“Rapunzel? That’s the best nickname you’ve got, Tin Man?” Theo cocked one eyebrow at the billionaire as she laughed, brushing a piece of hair over her shoulder. “I may have long hair, but good luck with trying to lock me up in this tower.”

“Watch out, or I might invent something so I can–”

“-- Then again, you named your AI system FRIDAY, so I shouldn’t be surprised,” She continued, unfazed by Stark’s threat. “Seriously, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Says the person named Theolene...”

“First of all, I just told you - I go by Theo, not Theolene. Second, I can’t help it that my mother has terrible taste in names. Third, Loki’s helmet has horns, not reindeer antlers. For a genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist , you should know the difference.” Theo turned to the other Avengers. “And while I’m correcting people, I don’t specialize in shadow magic. I specialize in celestial magic, of which shadow magic is a subset. Dr. Doom is a joke, HYDRA wishes they gave me these powers, and my refusal to become an Avenger has nothing to do with a lack of desire to protect people, it’s because I don’t want to spend my time playing superhero when I can be more useful as a doctor. Although whichever one of you suggested I had a screw loose - Bucky, I believe? - was probably right. At least, my cousin would agree with you. He’s pissed that I agreed to this.”

For the second time in mere minutes, the entirety of the Avengers were stunned into silence. If there were two words that best described the collective response, “utter bewilderment” would be Loki’s choice.

“Wait a minute—“ Wilson blurted out, “How long have you been listening to our briefing? Have you been here this whole time?”

“Long enough to know you are just as skeptical of me as I am of you. It’s nothing personal, I know - I would be skeptical of me too! still, this has been enlightening.” Theo rose to her feet, gliding back to the entrance. She spun around, bowing with a dramatic flourish while flashing a cheshire grin at the crowd. “See you next Monday for your press conference!”

With a flick of her wrist, a series of black runes appeared all over her arms, flowing down her limbs like a stream of water. When they reached her fingertips, they rose into the air and evolved, surrounding her until she was obscured from view; in a flash of white, she disappeared, leaving nothing but a faint shimmer. The entire process took at most a few seconds, but the effect lingered far longer.

It was a finale to the encounter that was almost as dramatic as her introduction.

If Loki’s instincts were correct, she was just getting started.

And that's alright (That's alright) I found a martyr in my bed tonight She stops my bones from wondering Just who I, who, I, who I am Oh, who am I? Mmm, mmm...

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki x ofc fanfiction #loki smut #(eventually)#slow burn #loki fic #friends to lovers #longfic #wemtbb #when everything's made to be broken

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fearowkenya · 10 months ago

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Digimon Survive Week Day 1: A New World

Winds of Change - Chapter 7: Winds of Change - Part One

“Most everything we know about ourselves and our world—it tends to be based on gut instinct,” Dracmon continues with a huff. “Anything else is whatever partial information we’ve managed to glean and put together on our own. Sometimes it’s both, and sometimes the damn pieces are upside down or backwards.

“That sounds like…” Shuuji can’t even begin to wrap his mind around it. He supposes that’s exactly the problem. “…a very confusing way to live.”

“It’s all we really know,” says Dracmon plainly, “Bits and pieces, scattered between memory and instinct. But even though I don’t know what goes where or which way’s up, I’ve still got a bit of a sense of what it’s all supposed to look like, somehow.”

Desperate to not be left in the dark, Shuuji seeks answers. But those answers only raise more questions, and it turns out that there's so much about this world that he does not understand—far more than he could have ever possibly imagined.

@surviveweek WOW DIGISURVIVE WEEK!!! it's my first time participating. it felt a little like... cheating, maybe, to post a chapter of a fic i was already working on, but it turns out the prompt for day 1 fit this chapter pretty well.

as usual, link is in the source so that tumblr doesnt kick me from the tags, and extended post-chapter notes are under the cut!!!

part of me is really glad i split this chapter in half. like i said, the original edit would have been close to 10k words, and there are so many ups and downs in the combined chapter that i was giving myself whiplash rereading it. the good news is, the second part is already mostly edited, and with it being survive week, i am going to try my best to accelerate the rest of the editing and get at least chapter 8 out this week.

i got really lucky that today's theme for survive week matched up with today's chapter. i was really struggling with how to interpret "a new world", because that's the entire game, isn't it? how was i going to choose just 1 thing about this new world to talk about? ultimately, the way i interpreted the prompt was in the realization that shuuji has, that this world is confusing not just for himself, but for the creatures that call it home. from the way dracmon describes it, it's just as harsh and dangerous to the kemonogami as it is to the humans.

on the topic of dracmon--he's my favorite to write. back when i was outlining this fic, it was already solidly in place that dracmon would be doing a lot of heavy-lifting in terms of lore. why dracmon? i'll keep that to myself for now. all in good time (:

i had such a fantastic time writing shuuji and dracmon interacting. on one hand, he's good at recognizing shuuji's sudden bursts of anxiety - kaito's anxiety manifests in a way that is much more explosive and angry than shuuji's, but it's still a powerful emotion that he's dealt with before. that said, obviously the way dracmon navigates kaito's emotions is not going to fit shuuji, and it was fun writing dracmon trying to get a feel for what kind of response does or does not work for him.

i also think lopmon would be SOOOOO INTERESTING as kaito's partner. you've got this timid little guy who is SO completely different from kaito, but would be able to tell that there's a gentle side to him that's buried super deep down. kaito would absolutely frighten him with his outbursts, though, and i wonder if seeing the direct consequences of his anger would help him understand its full impact. on a more cheerful note, i think kaito would not know what to do when lopmon says saccharine, kind things about him that are undeniably true, and i think that this would be very cute!!! it's almost as confrontational as the way dracmon interacts with kaito - lopmon wouldn't be snarky or bluntly honest with kaito the way dracmon is, but i think the sweet, innocent flavor of honesty that lopmon would use instead would hit him just as hard. much to think about.

this is going to be a much shorter extended authors notes this time, because the bulk of what i have to say is about lore stuff, and the rest of that is in part 2.

my answers for reader questions!

do you think dracmon is the most knowledgeable of the main digis about how the kemonogami world works?

as i mentioned on ao3, my answer is no, but i won't say why. however! i CAN say that i think the kind of knowledge varies super widely from digi to digi. dracmon may know a lot about what happens when digimon get destroyed, but i dont think he's got the more, social, i guess??? knowledge that agumon has, where he seems really familiar so many other digimon, knowing them by name despite never having met them before.

what do you think the superpower pineapple tastes like?

i think it never tastes the same! one could be sweet and another could be salty, but it's always really good. the texture is like chewing on drywall though.

thanks for reading!! hopefully i'll have part 2 up in the next few days. i'll have to check the prompt list for survive week to see if anything fits… if not.. well, since it's mostly edited, i'll try to get it posted early anyway.

#digimon survive #digimon survive week #survive week #shuuji kayama #kayama shuuji #dracmon #digimon

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surr3al1sm · 5 months ago

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MLYiD scheduling!

Two posts about MLYiD in one day, what am I? It's author or something? Anyways, I have a little question to ask you guys. You see, no matter how much I LOVE writing 10k+ word chapters for you guys, these coming months it's just not going to be a realistic goal anymore. It's going to be the busiest time of the year at the themepark I work at, which means I'm going to have to work a lot and till very late. Meaning I physically will not have enough free time to write such long chapters (nor will I have the energy to). So I have two options for you to pick from. I could: A. Write shorter chapters (like 4-6k or something) and try my absolute hardest to keep posting weekly. Which basically means I will be splitting the chapters I write now in half, or three ways if necessary, not that you're going to get less content. Just more chapters. Although I cannot guarantee that this will be on Saturdays like it is now, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it every week. You guys will be updated if I don't. B. Continue to write the long of chapters like I do now, but they are going to be way more spread out. Like I'm going to be posting one every 2/3 weeks instead of every week. Also with this I can't even guarantee I'll make it to current MLYiD levels, but I'll try my best.

Vote for which option you'd prefer please! It would really help me decide on what to do.

I really don't think this matters to you guys as much as it does to me, but I'm someone who very much likes to keep a tight mental schedule and who very much likes to stick to that schedule. I would love nothing more than to keep writing as is, but that's just not even remotely possible for me right now due to work. Hopefully this should only apply to July and August though. This also applies to chapter 10, but I honestly already decided to make it shorter so I can give you all a chapter this week.

#MLYiD rambles #just dance #just dance fanfic #wanderose

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alectoperdita · 2 months ago

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how many words do you usually write in a chapter? just asking for advice, writing my own ff but i can never understand where to cut off and start a new chapter

I don't have a hard and fast rule for chapter lengths. Anyone who talks shop with me will know I'm infamously bad at estimating how many words it takes to cover the ground I want to. For example, I originally said I wanted to write Jou's birthday fic in about 5k. Word count on the actual finished draft? Almost 12k.

So I can tell you what I do in this case when my chapters get too long. 😂 Generally, I shy away from posting chapters over 10k. I've read in the past that for a lot of readers, the sweet spot for a chapter ls roughly around the 5k mark. That being said, I personally think it's more important for a chapter to be narratively cohesive and satisfying, regardless of length. So the the Jou fic? I'm cutting it in about half: first chapter is over 5k and second chapter will be about 6k. There's already a scene break between the fluffy non-smut parts of the story and all the smut that I'm using as a chapter break instead now.

Generally, I try not to create new breaks in scenes just in the service of splitting up chapters as it messes with the flow of how I originally wrote it. You might be okay with that though if you care more about balancing your chapter lengths.

That said, there are longer fics where I've tried to self-impose chapter lengths on myself from the start in an attempt to make myself write with those lengths in mind so the breaks feel natural. Those attempts have included Audience participation not required and Uplifting Spirits. Uhhhh I'll let you know later if I managed to stick it out once they're finished. (History has not been on my side though lol).

Given that, I think the more helpful way to think about it is to figure out what you think constitutes as "too long" for a chapter. Where it basically gets too unwieldy if a reader has to take a break in the middle of reading your chapter, for any number of real-life reasons or just their internet goes out, and how hard it is for them to come back and find their place again. Going the other way and limiting how many words you think you can write in a chapter might be less fun and more disruptive to the process.

I'm sorry that most of my advice basically comes down to "vibes." Don't be afraid to experiment. Asking someone to read your draft for you can be a good way to develop your sense of when. They can help point out places that feel like good breaks to them as a reader.

Good luck on your fanfic, anon! And if's kaijou, I look forward to hopefully reading it on AO3. 👀

If any other fic writers have advice they want to share on how they handle chapter lengths, please go ahead. I'll reblog your responses here for the anon. <3

#replies #anonymous #my fanfiction #sorry i'm a bit rambly right now #but also unsurprising as i've just told you how much i struggle with exploding chapter lengths/scopes

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paperhats-and-evil-schemes · 1 year ago

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Alright fellas, I have a question, but it requires a touch of context. So, for the White Hat fic, I think it's getting to a point where it's (finally!!!) almost ready to start getting posted. Back before I went MIA, I was originally planning to completely finish it, then post it all at once as a kind of "rip the band-aid off" situation given how severely heavy this fic's content is. (Though split into three chapters for easier digestion.) As most of you know from my last "update" post, however, my motivation does not come easily these days, so I'm thinking it'll be better to just post it chapter by chapter, since it would take me ages to get any content out otherwise, and I figure it'll be better to just get it started rather than leave people hanging so much longer. My thing is, this fic is very long, like almost 100k words long. With the original 3-chapter plan, that'd be looking at 30-40k words a chapter, which is still quite a lot to slog through all at once. So I was thinking of instead maybe cutting the originally-planned chapters in half to make it 6 chapters long, or going with 10 chapters to make it more of an even (approximate) 10k for each update. This would mean quicker updates, as it wouldn't be as much for me to write at a time, but it also means being left with more "cliffhangers", so to speak, which might be pretty unpleasant given the content matter. With that long preamble out of the way, my question is this:

#villainous #paperhat #OP #white hat #As many old followers had gathered from my old snippets of this fic Flug gets very f'd up in this one and it's going to be painful #There's comfort too as there always is but the pain is way more intense than normal in this one so I have been very worried lmao 😅

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starlit-dreaming · 9 months ago

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when honestly you can’t recall (Baxter Ward/MC) p3

Rating: M

Romantic Ships: Baxter Ward/Original Character(s); Derek Suárez/Leandra “Lee” Last

Platonic Ships: Main Character | Jamie Last & Leandra “Lee” Last, Main Character | Jamie Last & Original Character(s)

Tags: Unplanned Pregnancy, Single Parent, Angst w/a Happy Ending

TL;DR: A self-indulgent Single Parent AU. Lee has a better relationship with my MC compared to Liz. I wrote this when the Baxter DLC was still in beta, so I opted to avoid writing spoilers (for now) and to avoid rewriting moments of the Jude/Scott wedding.

A/N: Cross-Posted on AO3 under the same title (@ Starlit_Dreaming). Originally this chapter was ~8k words, but I decided to split it when I ended up turning it ~10k when I was editing and kept on adding more and more to some of the scenes. I literally spent several hours just "editing" this chapter so it's a good thing I chopped it in half to save the rest for another day for editing rip

Obligatory Tag: @arcosoffireheart

Links: 1 | 2 | [3] | 4

Summary:

Everyone assumes that Gabby is exactly like her mother, but Rosaline will always see the traces of her daughter’s father. The shape of her eyes, how fussy she gets if there’s even a hint of conflict, every moment her daughter is calm and serene in her arms, the sweet and gentle smiles.

Her daughter does not have her black hair, either. Wavy hair, yes, but it was not fully black and her father has only ever dyed his hair.

It’s a miracle that nobody notices their similarities.

Including Baxter himself.

// In which Rosaline ends up becoming a single mother in the aftermath of her and Baxter’s summer fling. Some things change. Some things don’t.

——————————————————————

Part 3: just standing by blankly

——————————————————————

~1 Year Ago

Beginning of Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“It’s just a dance,” she laughs as Cove starts to cry.

They’re in the living room, practicing their dancing — or rather, Rosaline was trying to teach Gabrielle how to dance, and Cove was watching. She was crouched on the carpet flooring, gently holding Gabrielle’s arms up to mimic a simple dance, guiding her daughter into a swaying motion as she giggled with glee.

Cove was sitting on the L-shaped sofa, recording everything with Rosaline’s phone as he observed their dancing. He’s taken to being a very doting uncle, diligently taking videos and pictures and crying over her daughter.

“Yeah, I know,” he sniffed, watching them with watery eyes and a shaky smile. “It’s just that… she’s just so cute! You even made her a cute poofy little dress, and it’ll be the first wedding she attends.”

“Cove, I literally made all of her clothes. This isn’t the first time I made her dress, and I’m sure our friends are going to get married sooner or later,” Rosaline laughed, shaking her head in amusement. “You know this. And she’s also the flower girl for Jude and Scott’s wedding, too.”

“I know, but still,” he sighed wistfully. “Why does she have to grow up so fast?”

She snorted, “Guess we know how our parents felt, huh?”

“It’s also hard since Gabby looks so much like you when we were kids,” Cove sniffed.

Gabrielle perked up at the mention of her name, looking over to Cove before she gasped and started wiggling out of Rosaline’s hold. Once she was freed, she approached Cove with a rather determined look for a toddler as she promptly patted his leg with a bit of a smack, making him twitch with a subtle wince.

Ah yes, the joys of toddlers going the extra mile.

“It’ll be okay, Coco!” Gabrielle exclaimed with determination, looking incredibly pumped up and sounding so much like Lee does when she’s trying to reassure Cove with endless patience and positivity. “Pain, pain, go away!”

“Oh my god!” Cove seemed absolutely delighted by this turn of events and possibly even more teary-eyed. “That’s so cute, Rosa…” he murmured, glancing at her before focusing back to the toddler. “I’m okay, Gabby.”

“But Coco is crying!” she frowned, looking up at him with a pout.

“Don’t worry, Brielle,” Rosaline laughed, walking over to sit down beside Cove and promptly scooping up her toddler. “Cove cries happy tears.”

“Happy crying?” her daughter tilted her head, purple eyes wide and curious. It’s easy most days, seeing her daughter and not seeing bits and pieces of Baxter so blatantly. Cove often says that she looks more like Rosaline anyway, but Rosa thinks that he’s just being biased for not really caring much for Baxter to begin with.

“Mhmm. Cove cries a lot,” she says, and Gabrielle nods in agreement. “People cry when they’re sad, but Cove cries when he’s happy, too.”

“Does mama cry happy?” Brielle tilted her head, eyes wide as if it were a groundbreaking revelation.

“No, mama doesn’t,” she smiled. “Mama only cries when she’s sad.”

“Mmm… it’s okay, mama,” Gabrielle nodded. “I’ll make pain go away!”

“Aw, thank you, Brielle,” Rosaline softly smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, mommy!” she chirped.

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I love you, mommy,” she sleepily chirped.

“I love you, too, Brielle,” Rosaline softly whispered, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead as she pulled the seatbelt for her daughter. “And just like that, she’s already out,” she couldn’t help but feel calmer now, before closing the car door and moving to sit in the passenger seat. “Alright, space cadet, time to go home.”

“…are you sure you want to leave?” Cove asked, his brows knitted in worry as he looked at her. “I don’t mind waiting here for a bit.”

“…why would I want to stay?” Rosaline asked, closing her eyes as she relaxes into the seat. “The wedding’s pretty much done now, and everyone who’s still inside is just eating and drinking at this point. Lee and Derek already left for the honeymoon, and Brielle’s pretty tired.”

“Gabby interrupted you,” Cove murmured, sounding incredibly hesitant and unsure. “I thought that you still needed to talk to Baxter…?”

Of course Cove, out of everyone, noticed what had happened, that she was literally just finishing up a dance with the man in question. Still, the thought of him made her… well, she doesn’t quite know what to think of him right now. Thinking about him was starting to be too much of a common occurrence, but hopefully that all ends now that the wedding’s over.

If he were to need a dress designer for his clients, he wouldn’t need to talk to her again. There were other dressmakers Velvet Design Studios, and their sister buildings, Suitable Lenders and Lacework Lenders, were other viable options for renting dresses.

Rosaline crossed her arms, looking out the window to the sunset skies. For years, she’s been hung up over Baxter, and no matter what, it’s been the same thing over and over again.

She tries, he shuts her out, she gets hurt, and it repeats.

Again. And. Again.

“…”

“Rosa?”

“No. I’m… I’m tired.”

———————————

Several Months Ago

Beginning of Autumn

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“No, I’m… just tired.”

While it was true, she was actually exhausted for reasons unrelated to work (unless Baxter counted). She doesn’t feel inclined to correct that, though.

“Mmk, well, try to take it easy, Rosa,” Sonya said, peering at her with a concerned look. “I know you have a lot of work on your hands, and that you’re more than capable of handling it yourself, but don’t hesitate to ask for help.”

Sonya Chastain was Carol Amparo’s granddaughter and one of the few full-timers who was Rosaline’s age — most of their co-workers were usually in their mid-twenties at the earliest, thirties at the latest. She was a rather cheerful person with bright brown eyes and short blonde hair, with a bright smile that puts Cove at ease out of all her coworkers. It helps that she has a rather relaxed attitude in her interactions with everyone, which often puts high-strung clients at ease whenever she handles their fittings.

(Truthfully, Rosa was trying to hook her up with Cove in bits and pieces. Cove did think Sonya was cute, after all, and Sonya has had a major crush on him since the day they first met. Granted, she claimed it would pass, but it’s been a few years now.)

Her specialty mostly lay in beadwork than dressmaking, but she could at least do some basics and was much more adept with handling customers. Much better at it than Rosaline was.

Or at least, Rosa and Cass often pushed the customer service duties onto Sonya, since she was the youngest in their building.

The phone rings.

“Velvet Design Studio, otherwise known as Corsage Designs, Sonya Chastain speaking. How may I help you?” Sonya answered the phone with a fake smile, slipping right into character as she pulled up her tablet, bringing up the shared calendar. “Hello, Mr Ward.”

Rosaline froze, purple eyes immediately snapping over to her co-worker.

“Yes, Mrs Carol Amparo informed me that you were hoping to shadow one of our designers to learn more about our studio in hopes to be able to better offer our services to your clients.”

“What?” Rosaline hissed, earning Sonya’s confused glance. “Since when did Carol tell you that?”

“This morning,” Sonya whispered, hand covering the phone briefly before she continued to speak to Baxter and proceeded to blatantly lie because she did not plan on making any phone calls: “Yes, I was just about to call you myself to confirm a day. Will this Friday be convenient for you, Mr Ward? Lovely. You’ll be following one of our lead designers in bridal wear, Rosaline Winters.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry Rosa, you technically have the least workload scheduled this week since you’re focusing on a few personal projects,” Sonya whispered, looking apologetic at Rosa as she covered the phone for a brief moment before assuming her customer service smile as she refocused on the phone call. “Unfortunately, our lead suit designer, Cass Gardner, is busy at this moment in time—”

“—and I’m not?” Rosaline dryly grumbled.

“—but thankfully, Ms Winters will be able to walk you through the process of our work without an issue. Mhmm. Yes, our building is located right behind Lacework and Suitable Lenders, but if you’d like, just give us a call and Rosaline will be out to meet you.”

“I don’t appreciate how ready you are to volunteer me like this,” Rosaline muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“See you on Friday, Mr Ward!” Sonya ended the call and promptly slumped in her seat. “What��s got you so snappy, Rosa? You normally give people a walkthrough of the place,” she raised a brow. “I get that you’ve been tired lately, but it’s not like we’re pulling emergency all-nighters at the moment… plus, you love to show people around.”

“It’s worse than an all-nighter this time because Baxter’s my ex,” Rosaline groaned. “And you’re literally having me spend a day with him.”

“Oh…” she winced, opening up a calendar on her screen, typing in Baxter’s appointment. “Bad breakup, huh?”

“He didn’t think we would work out long-distance, so he dumped me,” Rosaline grimaced. “Suitor for the summer, he said.”

“Yikes,” Sonya cringed, slowly starting to organize the papers on her desk as she tried to smile. “At least you’ll only have to see him for only a day…?”

“Unfortunately no. He’s also Lee’s wedding planner, so I’m practically seeing him at least once a month if not twice a week because I’m her maid of honour and dress designer, so we’ll be in regular contact. Plus, he wanted to keep tabs on the dress progress — first time having a bride custom order a dress, so he wanted to know a little more.”

“For real?” Sonya looked taken aback at that, pausing in her organizing to look incredulously at her. “But Lee outright adores you, Rosa. Why would she deliberately put you into an awkward situation with your ex?”

“Derek was the one to set the meeting up, and Lee is super worried for me, but Baxter’s one of the best planners I know. It made sense that he became a wedding planner, and I knew that he’d go out of his way to make sure things go as perfectly and smoothly as possible. I told her to work with him, but I also didn’t really…”

“You didn’t really… what?” Sonya prompted.

“…I didn’t really think he would stay. When he figured out that it was Lee’s wedding, and that I’d be there, I just… I know him, y’know?”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I… thought he’d leave again.”

———————————

Two Weeks Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I thought he would leave again.”

And all of a sudden, under the sunset sky, staring off into the horizon, it felt almost as if they were 18 again in the midst of summer. Lee could remember it easily — the way Rosa shed her mask and displayed her feelings out in the open for Lee, the way Lee reassured her, and the way things ended in the aftermath of it all. It felt so stupid, really, the way things felt as if it were just repeating in different sequences of events.

Before, Lee would’ve reassured her. She would’ve told Rosa that Baxter loves her just as much as she loves him. That he wouldn’t dump her unless he had a good reason to. But he did, he did, and he said he wouldn’t be back.

She wasn’t going to lie to Rosa. It didn’t matter if she sincerely believed in them back then, because Baxter leaving had shattered Rosaline.

And Lee would never forget the guilt she felt when Rosa called her, crying.

“Well… he hasn’t exactly given you a reason to think that he would stay,” Lee murmured, trying to sound casual only to wince at how bitter it came out instead.

Liz, Aunt Pam, and Auntie Lani all thought that Rosa never even dated the guy and were surprised when it was mentioned in passing. And still, they believed that Rosa took the breakup in stride because she never cried to them and never acted differently, so they were fairly accepting when he said he was sticking around after her wedding. Rosaline was hurt, but she understood that he didn’t want a long-term relationship when they ended things back then.

Lee told him to treat Rosa better than he did before, and honestly, she wants to scream countless obscenities at him. She wanted to get angry at him, to shout and scream and tell him off for daring to break her cousin’s heart. Hell, if Rosa hadn’t said anything, she would’ve dropped his ass and hired another planner. Derek had even asked her if she was sure about keeping the guy as their planner! And yet Rosa had smiled so serenely and kindly, and had reassured Lee that Baxter was trustworthy when it came to planning. How could she say no to her cousin, even if Lee was infuriated with the man?

But Lee shouldn’t lose her temper just like that, otherwise she would end up revealing all the painful details that she’s meticulously kept close to heart, everything that Rosaline had wanted to keep quiet about. Her feelings, the nights she spent crying alone, the way her heart shattered. No matter what, Lee refused to hurt Rosaline in such a way.

(And, if she dropped Baxter as a planner, Rosa would’ve been even more worried and stressed about the wedding, and despite her feelings on the matter, Rosa was significantly calmer and happier with Baxter on board.)

And, the worst thing about saying all the thoughts in her head, however, is that hurting him with words or a slap would hurt Rosa, too.

Why does her cousin have to love a guy like that?

“Yeah… that’s true.”

Lee walked over, standing beside Rosaline. She wondered what she was thinking so intently about, standing there on the sand. Naturally, it was about Baxter, a thought that made Lee purse her lips as if she had just tasted something sour.

Loosening her expression, she glanced over to Rosa before scooting over, bumping her shoulder lightly.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m absolutely hopeless, Lee.”

It didn’t alarm her — Rosa’s self-esteem did take a hit when she got dumped by the person in question, but it wasn’t a self-deprecating statement like before. In fact, she sounded amused more than anything.

“Hey, that’s my darling cousin you’re talking about here,” Lee said in a teasing tone, impishly poking her shoulder. “You better not badmouth her in front of me like that, or we’ll be having problems here.”

“I think you’re gonna have a problem with what I have to say, anyway,” Rosa snorted.

“You mean you’re finally going to talk about your desk at work? About time. It’s covered in fabrics and lace, Rosa. I think you should stick to dressing up people and not desks.”

Rosaline barked out a laugh. “You sound like Cass,” she shook her head.

“Yeah, and it made you smile,” Lee grinned.

“Thanks, I really needed that,” Rosa bumped her shoulder against Lee’s, a small smile remaining as she turned to look at her. “Thank you for always being there for me.”

“Of course,” Lee softened, reaching to hold her hand. “I’m always here for you… even if I think you’re making a big mistake.”

“I never stopped loving him, and I’ve tried. You know that better than anyone. I tried so hard to stop loving him, but loving him is as easy as breathing,” Rosaline sighed, tearing up as she looked at Lee with unsure eyes. “You said it before. He loves me as much as I love him. And… I know that it’s true, even if he tried so hard to keep me at a distance.”

And clearly, Lee made a mistake when she said that. If Baxter loved Rosa, then he should’ve said something by now. Especially when they have a kid together.

“Will you… forgive me? For getting back together with him?”

“You never have to apologize to me. It’s your decision on what to do,” Lee wryly smiled, reaching up to wipe away Rosa’s tears. “You can’t help who you love, but… I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I don’t want you to cry because of him, you know? I’ll always be here for you, but I won’t hold back if you call me crying in the dead of night again. I really will end up fighting him, even if he helped me plan the perfect wedding.”

“Yeah…” she whispered, crying as she smiled at Lee. “Thank you for accepting it. For being here when I need you, from when we were kids to even now. You’re my best friend and…” she shakes her head, not wanting to voice the thought out loud. Lee was the sister that she wishes she had, but she does love Liz, and Liz has always been her sister.

“I am pretty great,” Lee smiled softly, squeezing Rosa’s hands, understanding. “Promise me you’ll be careful,” she said, knowing that she can’t convince her otherwise. “Don’t let him break your heart again. Promise?”

“I promise.”

———————————

Two Days Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I promise.”

“And you’re sure…?” Rosaline softly asked, holding his hands as she looked up into his brown eyes. “I don’t want casual relationships, so I’m fine with us just staying friends if that’s not for you. What I want is a relationship with marriage in mind.”

“I don’t plan on leaving,” Baxter firmly stated, expression serious as he looked at her with soft eyes. “I understand your hesitation, and for that, I don’t blame you. I truly love you, Rosaline. I’ve loved you since the summer we dated, and even when we broke up, I still loved you, and when you entered my life again, I realized that I have never stopped loving you.”

She stared at him, eyes watering before she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight with tears in her eyes.

“I love you, Rosaline,” Baxter softly says, holding her tight. “And… I would want nothing more than to be a part of our daughter’s life. If you’ll have me.”

“Really…?” Rosalina whispered, voice wobbling.

She feels him nod, “I know that it’ll take a long time to earn your trust again, especially after what happened. I’m here to stay. I swear it.”

“Can you… say it again?”

“I’m here to stay.”

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I’m… here to stay.”

Rosaline pauses in the middle of her work, hovering over the half-finished dress for her daughter. It was another cute floral dress made for Jude and Scott’s wedding this time. She just needed to add more flowers to it.

“Are you?” her eyes flicker to Baxter for a brief second before refocusing on her work. “Whatever happened to this just being a professional arrangement? A done deal, where we both do our own things?”

“…despite claiming as such, and saying that we would go our separate ways after Lee’s wedding, I… never actually thought of it.”

“…okay.”

“Okay?” he repeats, and Rosaline could so easily picture the way his eyes would brighten up. She hates that she knows him so well, and that she can’t just be happy with this.

“What about Brielle?”

And it’s the silence that makes Rosaline’s heart clench.

Because Baxter is speechless. As if he doesn’t know what to say about their daughter.

She bites the bottom of her lips, feeling him stare at her from behind. What did he think was going to happen? She’s been letting him interact with Gabrielle in bits and pieces, getting him to, at the very least, be open to being in their daughter’s life.

Their interactions at Lee’s wedding were her own selfish wishes, but her daughter will always be her first choice.

“If you’re going to be in my life again,” Rosaline said, as if this were obvious. “Then you’re going to end up having some kind of relation with Brielle beyond just being a grown-up that we interact with as if we’re just an acquaintance. I want to establish what to expect.”

“Ah… I see,” Baxter simply says, more to himself than anything. “Your daughter should naturally come first, so I feel that there shouldn’t be any issues with that. I don’t necessarily think I could be considered family to her, perhaps just a family friend. If something were to happen to her while you’re hanging out with me, I’d fully understand that you would prioritize your daughter’s well-being and safety.”

She lets him stew over the thoughts, but she can’t help but feel heartbroken.

Your daughter, he says.

It was enough of an answer for her.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge Gabrielle as his daughter.

“Okay,” Rosaline shakily sighed, staring at the little half-finished purple dress in front of her sadly. “That’s fine.”

“Hmm?”

“Not everyone wants to be parents, so I understand,” Rosaline murmured, managing to mask her feelings as she turned, smiling at him. “Would you… prefer that I keep it a secret from her? Until she gets older?”

“I beg your pardon?” Baxter blinked, confused.

Rosaline frowned.

Or maybe Baxter just didn’t know?

“Baxter… who do you think is Gabrielle’s father?”

“I… was under the impression that Cove was Gabrielle’s father.”

“You… thought Cove was the father?”

———————————

Then

Mid-Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“You thought Cove was the father?”

Rosaline, for the most part, looked incredibly unamused as she rubbed her swollen stomach. Cove looked flabbergasted at Derek, as if he had just said the strangest thing he’s ever heard. Lee, being one of the very few who knew the father’s identity and knew that Cove was part of the family, had burst out into a fit of laughter.

“If Cove was the father, he would’ve gone with me to all of my ultrasound appointments, and I would’ve scheduled them for a day when he could actually come with me, even if the thought of it made him nauseous,” Rosaline pointed out, rolling her eyes. “But I guess that’s a fair assumption.”

“What?!” Cove finally exclaimed, his delayed response finally kicking in and looking downright startled and horrified. “Rosa’s my sister!”

“I get that now,” Derek sheepishly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just that — think about it. Rosa only ever talks about you when it comes to the guys in her life. She’s pregnant, and now you’re moving in with her and helping with the baby whenever they get here.”

“I… I guess?” Cove frowned, brows knitted as he thought it over, paling at the thought. “Oh god… do other people think that I’m the father? Do my parents think I’m the father?!” he whips his head around to look at Rosaline with panicked eyes. “Do your moms think I am?!”

Lee, unhelpfully, is dying with laughter.

“No, none of them think that,” Rosaline explained, trying so hard to retain the semblance of patience she’s developed since childhood. Pregnancy hormones, however, were no joke, with how irritated she was starting to get even if Cove’s concerns were valid. “I told my moms that it was a one-time thing, and that I wanted to keep them when I found out. Also, they asked me if their dad was going to be involved, which, obviously, he’s not.”

Derek rubbed Lee’s back as she slowly started recovering from her giggling, her cheeks red from laughing so much and eyes shining with amusement.

“Dad One was happy for me, and he didn’t ask me about the father, but I’m pretty sure my moms already told him by now. Otherwise, he would’ve asked us about what’s going on with us moving in together with a kid on the way. Mom Three was pretty excited about being a grandma, and she already knew that you couldn’t have been the father, because otherwise you would’ve been there with me when I told her.”

Cove relaxed significantly after hearing that, placing a hand over his chest.

“Dad Two and Mom Four,” she continues, giving Derek a look, raising a brow as he smiled sheepishly. “Didn’t think Cove was the father, and were happy that I wanted to name my daughter after Gregorio. Although Nico asked, because he was just being curious in all honesty and since I was literally naming her after Dad Two, if you or Cove were the donor, which Mama Four was horrified about because it was possible, and she probably would’ve gone into a panicked frenzy even more thinking that she got a grandchild with your blood before you even got married, but I reassured them that no, it was just an ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, at least he’s less of a menace than when we were kids,” Derek snorts, shoulders relaxing from the knowledge that his parents knew the truth.

“I think Terry was the only one who asked if my daughter was yours, Cove,” Rosaline said thoughtfully. “But Terry was also the one to ask me a lot of questions about potential fathers. Liz and Miranda have never asked, but they both have this look like they might know who it is.”

“I’m glad that was cleared up, then,” Cove sighed, rubbing the back of his neck rather awkwardly. “Not that you’re not an amazing person Rosa, but…”

“Yeah, I get it, Cove,” she nodded, sharing an understanding look with the man in question. “It’s weird.”

“So uh… are you…?” Derek trailed off.

“Hmm?” Rosa looked over to him.

“Did you… ever tell the father?”

———————————

Then

Mid-Autumn

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 18

———————————

“Will you ever tell the father…?”

Rosaline shook her head, looking at the vase of flowers on the table than at either of her moms. Lee is sitting beside her, holding her hand. She dreaded the question, she expected it, but the thought of Baxter had left her heart aching.

And… she still never really mentioned much of Baxter to either of her moms. All she ever told them was that he left, and they knew that she had wanted to keep in touch with him.

“Is he out of the picture?” Noelani asked, concern on her face.

She tried to contact him, but it’s rather pointless to when he won’t answer phone calls or text messages. None of it mentioned her pregnancy yet, but once she got the ultrasound, she planned on telling him that she was going to keep the child. If he still didn’t want to be in their child’s life, she’ll take his silence as enough of an answer anyway.

“…Yeah. It was a one-time thing, and he isn’t answering my calls or responding to my texts since we broke up. I’m the one who wants to have this child, and he’s going to be against it, anyway. I… don’t plan on getting him involved if he doesn’t want to be.”

Both of her moms shared a worried look with each other, an unspoken conversation happened between them. Pamela frowned, Noelani still looked concerned.

“It’s… a pretty big responsibility, Rosaline,” Pamela stated, looking at her. “Having a kid is wonderful, but it can be hard at times, especially when you’re still so young. This isn’t like having a pet, and there will be times when you have to put that child’s needs above your own.”

“I know,” Rosaline softly said, nodding. “I know it’ll be hard, but I want to keep them.”

“Well… we do know someone you could talk to,” Noelani said, thinking it over. “Your… your mother — your birth mother,” she clarified. Rosalina blinked, looking at her with clear confusion. “She had a friend before she passed away.”

Rosaline wasn’t ever interested in knowing more about her birth family. Not when she was a teenager and Liz had thrown a fit, and not even now. However, it was more for the sake of medical records that she should know, and when she entered high school and her parents talked to her about her birth family.

Not that there wasn’t really much to know. Her birth mother was an orphan, her birth father wasn’t in the picture, he knew, but wanted no involvement and had even signed away parental rights.

“While Cliff and Kyra would be able to provide insight on what it’s like to raise a child on their own, they did co-parent Cove,” Pamela said in agreement, thinking it over. “Mrs Amparo has regularly helped single parents get back on their feet or assisting single mothers who are on their own with no one to support them.”

“We will love and support you, of course,” Noelani assured, smiling softly as she reached over for Rosaline’s free hand. “But having a child can be difficult, and we want to make sure that you don’t feel alone in this.”

“Of course, we’ll help you whenever we can,” Pamela nodded in agreement. “I just want you to be certain. Are you absolutely sure that this is something you want?”

“I’m sure,” Rosaline murmured, blinking away the tears.

———————————

Then

Mid-Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“I’m sure,” Rosaline reluctantly stated, trying not to let it get to her.

“And he really hasn’t answered back?” Lee pursed her lips, looking almost as if she had just tasted something sour.

“Yeah. I texted him, saying that I needed to talk to him about something important,” she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “I did leave a voicemail saying that I was pregnant, but… still he didn’t say anything back.”

“I’m sorry, Rosa,” Cove frowned, wrapping his arm around Rosaline as he rubbed her back in a comforting way. She sighed, shoulders relaxing as she wryly smiled. Lee reached for her hands, holding it tight.

“Don’t be,” Rosaline shook her head, eyes softening as she stared at her phone wistfully. “Not everyone wants to stay together,” she smiles, almost weakly as she holds their intertwined hands up, “And… not everyone’s willing to take care of a kid with someone.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about doing this alone,” Lee softly stated.

Cove nodded, “We’ll both help you out as much as we can.”

“You guys are the best,” Rosaline smiled.

#wynter writes #fic: when honestly you can't recall #baxter ward #our life: beginnings & always #baxter x mc

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